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Your Favorite Band Sucks

English, Music, 1 season, 122 episodes, 3 days, 16 hours, 45 minutes
Become a Paid Subscriber: Let’s review: there’s no good art and it’s a red flag for adults to have a favorite band. Naturally, most of you will disagree. That's fine. Just pretend it's a drinking game. An algorithm randomly assigns the band Mark & Tyler destroy in every episode. Start on one everybody knows is trash, like The Beatles. But soon you'll realize culture is a pyramid scheme and your favorite band is just the soundtrack to a fake vintage t-shirt. (Get Ad-Free Episodes Here:
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Christmas Music Sucks: Part 6, The Voicemail Episode

Alright, this is the sixth freakin' time we've done one of these things so you shouldn't need much in the way of an introduction. Y'all know what it is. But wait... Could there be any surprises in this latest installment of our great podcast tradition? Listen and learn! --- Send in a voice message:
12/10/20231 hour, 56 minutes, 27 seconds
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This holiday season we thought it would be nice to bring back a truly deep, old-school Q4 discount by taking 100% off the value of Soundgarden, one of the most overrated bands of all time. If the dude with the microphone is just going to scream all the time then shouldn't the music be heavier? How can the fans call this good songwriting when all of the lyrics are idiotic nonsense? Why is the most annoying drummer you know going to punch a hole in their bedroom wall when you send them a link to this? All these questions and more will be answered in today's episode of the podcast: Soundgarden Sucks! (BTW we are running an actual sale this weekend, too. Promo code CREED4EVER gets you 30% off podcast merch until Tuesday at --- Send in a voice message:
11/24/202350 minutes, 38 seconds
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Cream Sucks

Please consider this episode of the podcast your one-time-only, always-true, get-it-tattooed-somewhere-on-your-body-and-never-worry-about-new-facts-coming-to-light reminder: you do not under any circumstances need to hand it to the band Cream. Forget every stupid Boomer joke you've ever heard that implies Eric Clapton was once a good guitarist or was once in a good band. It's always been a myth. Cream was unquestionably the most over-rated band of the 1960s and anyone who wants to argue about that has no good opinions on music. --- Send in a voice message:
10/19/202342 minutes, 39 seconds
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The 1975 Sucks

If you’ve heard of The 1975 but aren’t really sure where, they’re the British one with the lead singer who’s been giving everyone a different reason to hate him every week or so for the past few years. Meanwhile Mark and Tyler hate the whole band because they’ve never released a good song, which used to be the barrier of entry on anyone caring enough to pay attention to the antics of a band's lead singer. This ain’t Oasis, people! It’s a pretty simple rule: if you wouldn’t listen to the guy sing, don’t listen to him talk. What you should be listening to instead is this brand new episode of the podcast about how much The 1975 sucks! --- Send in a voice message:
10/5/202340 minutes, 59 seconds
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Bob Seger Sucks

Please, for the love of all that is decent in the world, leave those old records on the shelf, Bob! Even if the music you grew up on was once half as cool as you seem to think - which it wasn't - and even if you yourself were once half as cool as you seem to think - which you definitely weren't - what about any of that would lead you to believe the world needs you to write approximately 80 songs on that topic and only that topic?! Nobody cares that you used to get your dick wet, dude. You've got to stop singing about it. It was already weird about 40 years ago and at this point it's become a fairly serious problem, for you, for us, for everyone still living under the delusion that these songs were ever awesome... Press play on this episode to let Mark and Tyler free you from the spell of Mr. Seger's past! --- Send in a voice message:
9/14/202335 minutes, 41 seconds
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The Weeknd Sucks

You know, it really was a great question... What if there was a new R&B singer pop star who represented modern attitudes toward sexual inhibition and general debauchery? Too bad we still don't have an answer because at this point it's pretty extremely clear The Weeknd is and has always been a giant dork. Sure, back in the early days, nobody knew much about him and could only imagine how insane the drugs and parties and sex must be if that's all he ever wanted to sing about. But he just couldn't keep his true self hidden in the shadows! Ready for Mark and Tyler to take you on a guided tour of how one man defied all the odds to become a global phenomenon, then defied common sense by ruining it all for no good reason? --- Send in a voice message:
8/24/20231 hour, 32 seconds
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Avenged Sevenfold Sucks

Every person who's gonna get mad about this episode was a member of the final generation to still believe all the time they spent hanging out at the mall as a teenager was awesome and literally any of the things they think they learned about music at that mall were/are valid. So right away everyone else should be able to tell the cognitive dissonance in the replies anywhere this gets shared will be entirely off the charts. Are you ready to learn about some tough guy metalheads who also used to spend more time in the mirror on their hair and makeup than your little sister ever did? Are you ready to learn about how Meathead Eddie Munster over here has had a decades-long career as a singer despite not actually being able to sing? Are you ready to take NFT-investment advice from a band who between all the various members may or may not have ever read one (1) complete book? Are you ready to listen to Mark and Tyler spend an hour dunking on all of these things and more?! Press play, folks! --- Send in a voice message:
8/3/20231 hour, 13 minutes, 19 seconds
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Alice in Chains Sucks

Is it possible this is the Actual Most Depressing Grunge Band out of all the depressing grunge bands to ever exist? Turns out some bands never recover from finding out they aren't good enough to make it in hair metal. But that only explains how a group of guys could wind up making music this miserable and boring. What in the hell compels anyone else to waste time listening to it? Tune in to today's episode as Mark and Tyler consider these and other great mysteries of "the Seattle sound." But wait! Make sure to listen all the way to the end for details on how you have a chance to appear as a guest on a future episode of the podcast! --- Send in a voice message:
7/13/202334 minutes, 17 seconds
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Simon & Garfunkel Sucks

Was this musical partnership a timeless classic or a barely functional soap opera nearly running off the rails at every turn? Simon & Garfunkel were a great example of why it should be illegal for pop culture media to refer to musical artists as "geniuses." It's only a matter of time before even the most marginally talented hack would start to believe it's actually true. There are at least three stories in this episode that could only happen due to pure, unbridled narcissism. Is it even possible to cover the entire trainwreck when there's this much material to work with? The only way to know is to press play and find out why Simon & Garfunkel sucks! --- Send in a voice message:
6/22/202348 minutes, 9 seconds
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Sigur Rós Sucks

Ever wonder what it would be like if baby talk could become a whole band? Wonder no longer, friends, because it already happened. Some of you already know who Sigur Rós is. (Or, really, at this point, "was.") The rest of you are going to think Mark and Tyler are entirely fabricating this band from their imaginations. Defying all logic, this was a real thing. In fact, it was a cult and nearly everyone between the ages of 35 - 45 knows at least one person who was in this cult, whether they'd admit it or not. Some of them still have the tattoos. WARNING: this is the closest Mark's head has ever come to exploding while recording an episode. Press play at your own risk... of laughing your ass off. --- Send in a voice message:
6/8/202331 minutes, 53 seconds
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A.I. Music Sucks

BREAKING: we interrupt your daily doomscroll with an emergency broadcast addressing the use of A.I. technology in music! It's impossible to keep up with all the new developments. Every day seems to bring more stories of a new way A.I. is going to change everything we think we know about music by, like, next week. From celebrity impersonations to bringing back the voices of dead legends to ending the careers of pop stars and entirely putting humans out of work - how's all this stuff actually going to shake out? If only there were two assholes with no reason to avoid saying exactly what needs to be said about the music industry... That's right, friends! Mark and Tyler are here to answer, well, maybe not all the questions you have but definitely most of the questions smart people should be asking at this moment in history. One thing is for certain, no matter what: A.I. music sucks! --- Send in a voice message:
5/18/20231 hour, 25 minutes, 59 seconds
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Just when you thought the '90s Boy Band Fandom Wars were over, the podcast pulls you back in! Take a trip with us to the past. Every college freshman either has frosted tips or a nipple ring - and those are just the guys. The sound blasting out of every dorm room is another slight variation on legitimately the worst-sounding music you've ever heard in your life but, for some reason, you're expected to select and defend one iteration of this evil banality. Who do you choose to stan? Certainly not NSYNC. Even by commercial pop music standards, NSYNC is indefensible. Press play on the episode to hear Mark and Tyler sing parody versions of a bunch of NSYNC songs, stay for the astute breakdown and analysis of some of the most baffling con artistry in the history of the music industry. --- Send in a voice message:
5/4/202353 minutes, 4 seconds
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Wilco Sucks

Look, if you're not sitting there wondering "who in the hell is Wilco?" then you're old enough to've lived through the press cycle for their Yankee Hotel Foxtrot LP and, for that reason, you always knew to expect this episode. Somehow coasting on twenty-something year old, empty hype, there's every chance this unbelievably and undeservedly overrated band may still come up in conversation at any moment here in the year 2023. So if music fans everywhere are susceptible to being ambushed into offering an opinion on Wilco, then you're damn right we'll dial it all the way back to the beginning and unmake this entire mythology. --- Send in a voice message:
4/20/202339 minutes, 13 seconds
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Ticketmaster Sucks (and so does Pearl Jam, Taylor Swift, Bruce Springsteen, Radiohead, Beyonce, Metallica...)

"Ooooh, Ticketmaster Sucks... Tell me something I don't know!" Okay, smart guy. Everyone knows Ticketmaster is everything that's wrong with the concert industry, right? Well, maybe just go ahead and forget whatever you think you know about how concerts work because the fact is a lot of people have been lying to you for a very long time. Remember how scalpers used bots to get all the good tickets to the concert you wanted to see? Yeah, that's not what happened. Remember when Ticketmaster forced your favorite band to add outrageously high fees to every ticket you bought? That's what you're supposed to believe but it's not the truth. Or what about the time your favorite band had no choice but to use Ticketmaster if they wanted to tour in decent venues? Oh, honey... Look, it'll be okay. If you want to know what's really going down then just press play. Daddy Mark and Daddy Tyler will get you all sorted out. --- Send in a voice message:
4/1/20231 hour, 36 minutes, 49 seconds
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Lynyrd Skynyrd Sucks

Yep, this is the official favorite band of every moron who wants to yell something at a concert even though they don't have anything original to say. (Don't worry about any of them getting mad at this, though. They literally can't read.) Skynyrd is just one of many reasons it's too bad there isn't a fault line along the northern border of Florida that may someday result in an earthquake big enough to send the whole damn state into the ocean. But, hey, looks like global warming is gonna eventually bring the ocean to Florida, so party on! Wooh! NASCAR! Git 'er dun! Here's yer sign! Lynyrd Skynyrd sucks! --- Send in a voice message:
12/29/202240 minutes, 33 seconds
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Cat Stevens Sucks

Settle in, young 'uns, and listen to a tale about the time an entire generation of rubes fell for the nonsense nursery rhyme stylings of a faux hippie who literally woke up one day and used his adult brain to decide his name should be Cat Stevens. How many times do you think this guy was called "a genius" in the 1970s? It doesn't even matter because if it only happened once that's still twice as many times as it should've been. Anyway, tune in to the episode for a quick education on why Cat Stevens sucks! --- Send in a voice message:
12/16/202236 minutes, 14 seconds
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Christmas Music Sucks: Part 5

Life happens so we had to skip the last one but the traditional YFBS anti-Christmas episode is needed this year more than ever. Question: how many of you at this point in 2022 feel like you've already had Christmas marketed to you for two entire months and we still have most of December to go before it's finally over? Well that's because it's exactly what happened and your favorite workshop elves are here to dutifully break down the bullshittery of it all in an epic and timely fashion. Enough is enough! Stop the madness! Christmas music sucks! --- Send in a voice message:
12/1/20221 hour, 28 minutes, 19 seconds
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Dream Theater Sucks

We disperse this episode unto the wilderness not so that we may receive countless responses from peasants who "never even heard of these guys lol" and somehow believe that means they should be doing anything other than shutting the hell up when kings do talk of music. Nay! This broadcast shall transmit throughout the land for all who have likewise suffered the presence of yon unwashed hessians so bold as to claim this alleged Dream Theater be of utmost musical quality. And hasten ye not for to smirk, as these common folk surely do say so but never in jest. By the way, who told the singer of this band that being in Steroid Rush means he's allowed to wear leather pants? Because as uncool as it is for anyone not named Axl Rose to wear leather pants, "singer of Dream Theater in leather pants" makes literally every other person on the planet seem as cool as Bruce Lee in the year 1972. --- Send in a voice message:
11/17/202234 minutes, 10 seconds
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Bon Iver Sucks

According to certain ancient pagan religions, bon iver translates to "world ender," which is fitting because this dude has single-handedly destroyed like three different genres of music - and he only had to sacrifice five or six elk in the middle of a frozen forest to do it! Have you ever wondered what would happen if you stared at laptop while mouth-breathing into a microphone for months on end waiting for an album to show up out of nowhere? Well, this guy did and apparently people love that shit because now everything with an acoustic guitar in it sounds approximately this bad or worse. --- Send in a voice message:
11/3/202227 minutes, 56 seconds
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The Jimi Hendrix Experience Sucks

Don't even act like this episode coming out is the end of the world or something. Jimi Hendrix Experience is one of the most overrated boomer nostalgia acts in history and the only reason you think acknowledging that is blasphemy is because you've sacrificed the ability to judge for yourself in favor of assuming the last 50 years of rock music magazines as your own opinions. The first way to tell none of those people ever had a clue what they were talking about? Before they went nuts for Jimi Hendrix Experience, they thought the band Cream was for sure about to be the most important band of all time. Want to know what else they got wrong? Listen to the episode. --- Send in a voice message:
10/20/202236 minutes, 43 seconds
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Sunny Day Real Estate Sucks

Sure, if crying was an Olympic team sport then maybe it would have been theoretically possible for Sunny Day Real Estate to do something that mattered. But even if crying was an Olympic team sport then Sunny Day Real Estate would still need to have been able to remain a team long enough to get to the competition and there is just no way that would ever have happened. Now, is it this band's fault so many clueless tryhards have thought and said so many idiotic things about their work and legacy? Of course not. Does that mean we're going to be nice about it? Of course not. Sunny Day Real Estate sucks and it's time to talk about all of the reasons why. --- Send in a voice message:
10/6/202229 minutes, 22 seconds
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Maroon 5 Sucks

BREAKING NEWS: Today we interrupt our regular schedule to release an emergency update on the currently developing Maroon 5 situation. As fans of the podcast have come to expect, your trusted correspondents delve into the story and report nothing but the truth. These are the facts you won't receive from mainstream media outlets. --- Send in a voice message:
9/22/202245 minutes, 5 seconds
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21 Pilots Suck

How did this even work? Oh, the plan is obvious - recycle all the late '90s/early '00s angst of grunge and nu-metal with a twist of 311 and pretend you have no idea any of that stuff ever existed so people think you've come original - but, like, how did that work? Today we'll get into these and other questions, just in case this band is ever able to recover from their most recent grease fire of an album and somehow remain relevant. --- Send in a voice message:
9/1/202247 minutes, 37 seconds
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T. Rex Sucks

There are only two types of music that have this many "fa la la la la"s in the lyrics, T. Rex songs and Christmas songs, and it's still summertime so you know this ain't no Christmas episode. Nevertheless, we come bearing a gift: clear-eyed analysis of one of the most infantile, overrated and pretentious musical projects of all time. Hey, Bolan, if your music sounds like the soundtrack to a ten year old kid playing with imaginary friends in an enchanted forest, go ahead and don't name the band after one of the most fearsome apex predators to ever exist, okay? --- Send in a voice message:
8/18/202234 minutes, 28 seconds
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The Talking Heads Suck

Oh, no! Not an episode on baby's first "smart" band! Yeah, that's right, folks. They said it couldn't be done. They said it wouldn't be done. Well, we already done damn did it. Go grab your most over-sized suit and bugged out eyes and get ready to jog in place for half an hour because that's about how long it's gonna take us to explain why Talking Heads totally suck. --- Send in a voice message:
8/4/202232 minutes, 59 seconds
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The Chainsmokers Suck

You do at least have to give The Chainsmokers credit for figuring out how to pander to the absolute lowest common denominator of people who pretend to care about music but, that being said, holy hell are these songs the worst thing you've ever heard or what? How is it actually legal to suck this bad at making music? --- Send in a voice message:
7/21/202242 minutes, 5 seconds
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Taylor Swift Sucks

Well, we keep getting requests for more country episodes so today we decided to talk about a true, bonafide country legend, Taylor Swift. Usually we can't find many nice things to say on the podcast but what an authentic and legendary artist. Swifties are sure to love this one. --- Send in a voice message:
7/7/202241 minutes, 58 seconds
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AC/DC Sucks

How shocked would you be if anyone in this band was able to explain to explain alternating or direct currents? That's right, folks. AC/DC is the soundtrack of being a complete dumbass. If chimpanzees could make rock music, it would be smarter than AC/DC. Actually, wait... Has anyone ever tried to teach an ape to play drums? An orangutan could for sure do Phil Rudd's job. Okay, we're gonna look into this just as soon as the episode is over. --- Send in a voice message:
6/16/202252 minutes, 24 seconds
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Phish Sucks

A lot of people have asked us why Phish wasn't the very first episode of this podcast. Well, do you really need us to tell you that Phish is one of the worst bands on the planet? No, you don't. What you need is for us to tell you why Phish is one of the worst bands on the planet, so that's exactly and comprehensively what we're going to do. Find somewhere a little more comfortable than the ground to sit down. We're gonna be here for a while. --- Send in a voice message:
6/2/20221 hour, 59 seconds
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The Cure Sucks

If only you'd thought of the right words to say, you could have prevented us from doing this episode. Unfortunately, your favorite band is The Cure, which means you know exactly how much you deserve the punishment you're in store for today. What will it be, then? Cherrypicking and criticizing a few songs the fans don't even really like? Spending the whole episode talking about which brand of lipstick Robert Smith uses? Calling Morrissey the superior lyricist? You know you're not getting off that easy. Go ahead and call in sick for work tomorrow, this is going to hurt. --- Send in a voice message:
5/19/202237 minutes, 46 seconds
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Black Flag Sucks

You're not alone and you're not crazy. All anyone has to do is listen to any 5 Black Flag songs to confirm this has always been a terrible band. Everybody's just afraid to say it. Maybe since you can't leave your house without seeing that logo, everyone assumes a ton of people must be listening to the band? Well, they're not. Nobody likes this music. (Except for Grateful Dead fans but you can't trust them.) --- Send in a voice message:
12/30/202137 minutes, 57 seconds
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Ryan Adams Sucks

Is Ryan Adams' music great? Or was he the guy who paved the way for Ed Sheeran? If only there were two professional music listeners to lay out the answers! Oh, wait, that's us. This is the first episode we almost titled "Ryan Adams Sucked," past tense, because we're about to prosecute this dude's entire career into oblivion. --- Send in a voice message:
12/16/202154 minutes, 8 seconds
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Van Halen Sucks

By pretty much any metric you want to choose, Van Halen was one of the worst bands of all time. This is the soundtrack to getting dumb, being dumb and staying dumb. Literally every fictional band from a movie about a band made better music than Van Halen. This is the musical equivalent of mixing every color of paint in the store together until you end up with brown instead of just buying brown paint. --- Send in a voice message:
12/2/202146 minutes, 34 seconds
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BTS Sucks

If you're anything like us, at some point in the past few years you've asked the question "What in the hell is a BTS and why are all these kids talking about it?" Well, the difference between us and you is we are professionals, so we found out what a BTS is and, friends, it is not good. In fact, it's bad. In fact, it sucks, which means we had to make this episode even if it's the last thing we do... And there's a real chance it may be. --- Send in a voice message:
11/18/202152 minutes, 33 seconds
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Coldplay Sucks

Ever since we opened up 5-star reviews on Apple Podcasts to requests, there've been a few bands who are by far requested above all others. We can't do all those episodes right away because you've always got to keep the crowd wanting more but, every now and then, it comes time to give the people what they want. Today is one of those days. And it's not like this will be a tough episode to do or anything, right? Coldplay is one of the most hated bands in existence. If anything, it almost feels like punching down. Ah, well, it's a dirty job but someone must do it! --- Send in a voice message:
11/4/202152 minutes, 7 seconds
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YouTube Comments Suck

Nobody asked for it but we have to deal with it so now you do, too! Today, Mark and Tyler sit down to read the best YouTube comments left over the past few years. And by "best," we mean 99% of them are horrible because YouTube comments are one of the worst places on the Internet. Enjoy! --- Send in a voice message:
10/21/20211 hour, 14 minutes, 29 seconds
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David Bowie Sucks

David Bowie is perhaps the most successful con artist of all time. You wanna hear about someone who got away with straight up grifting for like 50 years? Today we're talking about a guy who probably would have committed infanticide if someone told him it was the only way he could ever become famous. If you're imagining all the incredibly embarrassing and awful behavior one could expect from a person like that, buddy, it's worse. David Bowie sucks harder than it should even be possible to suck. --- Send in a voice message:
8/5/202157 minutes, 22 seconds
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The Replacements Suck

So here's a thought: you're legitimately a sadist if this is your favorite band. There has never been a greater real life example of a million monkeys in a room with typewriters accidentally reproducing Shakespeare's body of work, except The Replacements only took four humans hating how bad they were at life and their instruments for about a decade in order to make whichever four songs you believe justify the rest of this inexcusable career. Imagine being from Minneapolis and having to argue The Clash simply weren't drunk enough so you can pretend your city matters to the history of rock music. --- Send in a voice message:
7/22/202130 minutes, 2 seconds
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Frank Sinatra Sucks

Well, well, well... After several years of sidebar potshots in so many episodes, it is finally time for the original fuckboy pop singer to take a turn in the spotlight. And, look, we're not even going to do that usual thing where we pretend a bunch of fans are going to get pissed off about this because, let's be honest, everyone in 2021 is deeply aware of how much Frank Sinatra sucks. Anyone still listening to this trash has problems a podcast can't fix. No, that's not what we're here to do today. We're here to say all the mean things you've always wondered why nobody ever said about a talentless hack who absolutely deserves every word of it. --- Send in a voice message:
6/24/202140 minutes, 31 seconds
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Death Grips Sucks

If P.T. Barnum had lived to hear Death Grips, he'd have updated to quote to say there are 10 suckers born every minute because there hasn't been such a successful grift as this in the music business since at least the Sex Pistols. The "music" is obviously unlistenable because the music is always irrelevant when it comes to bands who get fast-tracked through the hype machine. But Death Grips also sucks for reasons that go so far beyond the music itself. Want to know more? If only there was an episode of a podcast you could listen to about it... [NOTE: this is the first episode available to paid subscribers in an ad-free version. Even our merch promos are removed from the middle of episodes! There will be ad-free versions of new episodes going forward. At some future point - not soon - we will also create an ad-free version of our entire back catalog. Become a paid subscriber of YFBS here:] --- Send in a voice message:
6/10/202135 minutes, 40 seconds
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Joy Division Sucks

It is undeniably tragic that so many people believe a trendy t-shirt design equates to good music. And you'd think doing an episode on Tool-for-sad-kids would be too depressing to be anyone's idea of a good time but this was such a bad "band" on every level that it actually pushes past the bleakness to become hilarious. Make sure you're ready to never willingly listen to Joy Division again before pressing play. --- Send in a voice message:
5/13/20211 hour, 1 minute, 47 seconds
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RIP Music

None of your other trusted sources of news were doing their jobs so it's once more up to the Joint Chiefs of Stuff to come correct with the scoop: music has officially been scheduled for extinction. Oh, you haven't heard how things are going at Rolling Stone magazine right now? You haven't figured out why half the bands you see on someone's t-shirt every time you go outside are selling their publishing catalogs? Well, friends, press play to receive the most critical information download of the year. --- Send in a voice message:
4/15/202152 minutes, 45 seconds
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Justin Bieber Sucks

"EvERyONe ALrEadY kNoWs juSTin BiEBer suCks!" That's you. And what you should be doing instead is shutting the hell up and pressing play because a) we're hilarious and b) you'll probably learn some stuff, smartypants. --- Send in a voice message:
4/1/202143 minutes, 31 seconds
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YFBS Trailer

A trailer for everyone who can't grasp the importance of this podcast from the title alone. --- Send in a voice message:
3/22/20212 minutes, 28 seconds
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Pearl Jam Sucks

First of all, none of you are prepared for how many of your friends are secret Pearl Jam fans. Go look up this band's sales figures. You think it's just everyone you've never met buying copies of these albums? Wake up, people! Not only is Pearl Jam's music terrible, they are parasitic masterminds of commerce! The war with TicketMaster was just a smokescreen! All will be revealed... P.S. Anyone else think it's weird how Eddie Vedder sang about "goin' hungry" even though he was clearly eating mashed potatoes while recording half his vocal parts on Pearl Jam albums?  --- Send in a voice message:
3/18/20211 hour, 14 minutes, 36 seconds
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Christmas Music Sucks: Part 4

Think you don't have much to be grateful for this year? Think again! Mark & Tyler are here to save 2020 from the bloody jaws of Christmas with the only holiday tradition that still matters: our annual Christmas Music Sucks episode! As a cold darkness settles upon the land and trepidation rises in the hearts of a noble proletariat, fear not! Beneath these terrible trappings lay great opportunities and wonderful gifts! (Translation: we finally figured out how to kill off Santa Claus this year. Yeah, it's pretty chill.) This one's on video as well, so find the YFBS YouTube channel if you'd rather watch than listen as these selfless heroes once more rally troops for a War on Christmas. --- Send in a voice message:
11/23/202051 minutes, 39 seconds
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Aerosmith Sucks: Part 3

When we’re talking about a band as insufferable as Aerosmith, you really "don’t wanna miss a thing,” so enjoy the climax of this terrible group’s trilogy: 90s Aerosmith and beyond! Alicia Silverstone’s wedgie! Song doctors! Our review of Armageddon - the movie and real life! --- Send in a voice message:
9/17/202030 minutes, 2 seconds
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Aerosmith Sucks: Part 2

Welcome to Part 2 of the Your Favorite Aerosmith Sucks podcast! In this installment, Mark helps Tyler through childhood trauma caused by Steven Tyler's... well, everything about Steven Tyler. Also, everyone who thought the "Walk This Way" collaboration with Run DMC actually mattered was either a dumbass or an executive at MTV (and therefore a dumbass). Step right up, folks. School is in session. --- Send in a voice message:
9/3/202033 minutes, 23 seconds
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Aerosmith Sucks

If we had a dollar for every time someone told us to listen to Aerosmith's early stuff, we'd pay Aerosmith to stop being a band. And they'd take the money. You know why? The only thing they've ever been good at is taking money from idiots. --- Send in a voice message:
8/13/202037 minutes, 18 seconds
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Destiny's Child Sucks: Part 2

Well, it turns out we weren't ready for the jelly. Talking about this soap opera of a "group" took longer than we thought it would, so here's Part 2: The Bootylicious-ing! Can Mark & Tyler prove themselves survivors? Listen and see. --- Send in a voice message:
7/23/202039 minutes, 11 seconds
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Destiny's Child Sucks

Let's just say there's such a thing as your dad being too big of a Jackson 5 fan. There's also a reason your worst high school girlfriend listened to Destiny's Child. Ready for this history lesson on 90s pop? No, you're not. You could never be ready for us to tell you EVERYTHING THE ILLUMINATI DOESN'T WANT YOU TO KNOW about Destiny's Child... You could never be ready for this jelly. --- Send in a voice message:
7/9/202044 minutes, 29 seconds
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Beck Sucks: Part 2

This guy should have been a one-hit wonder and we never should have had to do a single episode about him. But no... You people had to start taking him seriously after Odelay and now this is happening: Beck Sucks, Pt. 2: Beck to the Future! Mark & Tyler get into the ridiculous critical acceptance of "Sad Beck," the Grammy Awards and, inevitably, more Scientology... --- Send in a voice message:
6/25/202045 minutes, 6 seconds
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Beck Sucks

Beck is the only argument needed against having respect for 90s pop culture. This is what every 8th grade boy in America was like before ADHD meds were invented. Beck's music is what it would sound like if chugging a 3-liter of Surge cola and shooting yourself in the b-hole with a paintball gun was a band. Now add Scientology. See? --- Send in a voice message:
6/11/202037 minutes, 49 seconds
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Beethoven Sucks

It's no exaggeration to say this podcast probably wouldn't exist without the everlasting influence of Ludwig van Beethoven on music. This guy sucks so much he basically invented it. This guy sucks so bad it killed classical music entirely - which is actually pretty awesome, not gonna lie. This guy sucks so hard we had to make a long episode AND A NEW T-SHIRT about it... Press play, then head over to to check out Tyler's original artwork and pre-order the new shirt! --- Send in a voice message:
5/28/20201 hour, 8 minutes, 20 seconds
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Pantera Sucks

This is what happens when you’re too ugly for hair metal. Honestly, the guys in Pantera should have worn MORE makeup if they wanted to record a soundtrack to the evil western KISS would have made if they were actually badass. Then they had to go and single-handedly destroy the genre of metal. Thanks, guys. Pantera sucks. --- Send in a voice message:
5/14/202051 minutes, 29 seconds
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Billy Joel Sucks: Part 2

The suck level in Billy Joel's career was simply too much to cram everything in one episode, so Mark and Tyler came back for seconds. Since you people let this guy have somewhere close to a dozen Top 10 pop songs, quite a few of those need to be discussed at length.* Just like every great sequel, it's everything you loved about the first one... but more! The generation gap gets wider! Billy Joel gets richer and further out of touch! The ripoffs get ripped offer! We finally start the fire! *The album version of "Piano Man" is nearly six minutes long. --- Send in a voice message:
4/30/202043 minutes, 41 seconds
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Billy Joel Sucks

When you look up the word "hack" in the dictionary, it would be really helpful if they included a picture of Billy Joel, since he is perhaps the most successful hack in the history of recorded music. Afraid listening to Elton John will turn you gay? Don't worry, Billy's tough! Wish you had the pipes to sing along with Nilsson? Simply lower your standards! Speaking of low standards for entertainment, on a scale of 1 to 10, how much fun does a night at a piano bar sound to you? If you said anything higher than 1, there's a solid chance that Billy Joel is your favorite entertainer! That sucks! --- Send in a voice message:
4/16/202046 minutes, 5 seconds
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Nickelback Sucks

In these trying times, it's important to focus on things that bring us together rather than tear us apart. We need to unite against a common enemy and that enemy is... Nickelback. At what point do we stop giving our neighbors in The Great White North benefit of the doubt? It can't be a coincidence that all of the worst music comes from Canada, can it? Rush, Celine Dion, Leonard Cohen. It's like, what are you people doing up there? You know you're not supposed to eat the yellow snow, right? Anyway, once we opened up our Apple Podcast reviews to requests, one band kept popping up again and again. We figured everyone could use a win right now, so... You wanted it, you got: Nickelback Sucks! P.S. Since we love you so much, we went ahead and filmed the recording session for this one. Find us on YouTube if you want to watch us make the show! --- Send in a voice message:
4/1/202047 minutes, 41 seconds
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Arcade Fire Sucks

Is this a band or a sect of Mormonism that worships The Internet? You do kind of want to admire these kids for trying to wage war against music journalists but they should pick on someone their own size next time if they wanna win. Maybe a class of fifth-graders? Also, how is this band NOT from Portland, Oregon? The official soundtrack of taking a book with you to the bar so everyone knows you plan on being smart someday: Arcade Fire sucks! --- Send in a voice message:
3/19/202048 minutes, 21 seconds
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Mastodon Sucks

Remember when everyone asked the left half of a human evolution chart to create the Biff's Notes version of a Moby Dick audiobook? Yeah, neither do we. Mastodon sucks. --- Send in a voice message:
3/5/202049 minutes, 42 seconds
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Coheed and Cambria Sucks

Oh, hey, it's everyone's favorite soundtrack to a comic book series! Which, turns out, is nobody's favorite soundtrack to a comic book series because that isn't a thing anyone wants and this entire idea is terrible. Look, we're all about escapist fiction. Your life is trash. We get it. But when it reaches the point of slaughtering babies in outer space, you've maybe escaped a little bit too far. Grab a seat and strap in as Mark and Tyler take you to the moon and back to learn how much Coheed and Cambria sucks. --- Send in a voice message:
2/20/202041 minutes, 27 seconds
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Mini Episode 002: Top 10 Albums of the Decade

You wanted it, you got it! Well, okay, maybe you didn't want it but there have certainly been enough idiots who said "Oh YeaH? WHat aRE SoMe oF UR guYs FaVRitE BaNDz?" to justify a Top 10 Albums of the Decade Mini-Episode. Here that is. --- Send in a voice message:
2/13/202012 minutes, 53 seconds
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The Clash Sucks

OK Boomer Punks, make sure your bifocals are clean because today's episode takes a clear-eyed look at probably the most influential ska band of all time, The Clash. Songwriting, singing, musicianship, ethics - apparently none of these were requirements for becoming legends back in the '70s, as long as everyone thought one of your album covers was cool. It's true, you were lied to and that's not right or fair but we're here to fix it. Please consult a doctor before listening if you take blood pressure meds. --- Send in a voice message:
2/6/202058 minutes, 30 seconds
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Christmas Music Sucks: Part 3

It's the least wonderful time of the year! Those of you who've been with us from the beginning know we aren't about to let a holiday season come and go without another attempt to end the single worst genre: Christmas music. It all sucks... It's all bad... But we have the antidote! Just to make sure it's been attacked from every possible angle, Your Favorite Band Sucks comes back once a year for another episode about how much Christmas Music sucks. This year, Mark and Tyler raise their glasses (and middle fingers) to "12 Days of Christmas," Justin Bieber, Charles DICKens, caroling and more. Horny Christmas songs? You bet. Country Christmas songs? They're here. Metal Christmas songs? Hell yes. You must be thinking, "Dang! This sounds like the best thing to ever happen for everyone who hates Christmas music!" You're right, it is. And anyone who doesn't like it can get kicked straight in the jingle bells for all we care. --- Send in a voice message:
12/5/20191 hour, 13 minutes, 48 seconds
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Depeche Mode Sucks

Ever ask yourself why Depeche Mode is always the favorite band of people who've ruined your whole life? Wonder no more, friends and neighbors! A day of healing is upon us! The thing is: there's a fundamental problem with every Depeche Mode song. Today, Mark & Tyler strap in to gently explain what's going on here. A lot of people are gonna learn a lot about themselves in this episode but, don't worry, you won't need a safe word. Repeat after us: Depeche Mode sucks... Depeche Mode sucks... Depeche Mode sucks... --- Send in a voice message:
11/21/201946 minutes, 14 seconds
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Journey Sucks

Long before the San Francisco Bay Area decided to destroy Western civilization using Silicon Valley's latest social media apps, they tried destroying us with insipid arena rock. Fair's fair, the band Journey has the best singer of probably anyone that's been featured on our show so far (and a lot of their album covers were pretty sick) but not even the golden throat of Steve Perry can keep this chrome-plated spaceship on course. From "Wheel in the Sky" to "Faithfully," "Don't Stop Believin'" that Mark and Tyler are prepared to do whatever it takes to keep you from choosing any of Journey's Greatest Hits on your next visit to the karaoke bar - even if that means singing every last Journey hit themselves... Journey sucks! --- Send in a voice message:
11/7/20191 hour, 1 minute, 17 seconds
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Slipknot Sucks

The only reason they named this band Slipknot is because "Hot Topic" was already trademarked. Look, all we're saying is if you made music and it was this bad then you'd probably want to hide behind a mask, too. Does it seriously take nine people to suck this hard? How many shows did they do with eight members before deciding it just didn't suck enough and they had to throw in one more? They could have gone all the way to ten, except this is mall metal for people who lose fingers in firework accidents and can't count that high. --- Send in a voice message:
10/24/201947 minutes, 26 seconds
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The Shins Suck

Ah, yes, the band that changed the lives of everyone who saw the worst movie of The 2000's, which also happened to be one of the most widely viewed movies of the decade due to the fact that everyone between the ages of 18 and 45 was evidently a total moron in The 2000s. Why should anyone care now? Well, how exactly do you think we got in this mess? This is how. The Shins don't just suck. They sucked so hard and made so much money doing it that every indie band fell all over themselves to follow in their footsteps, buy glockenspiels and get every TV/movie/commercial sync deal they could. This is the way a genre ends. Not with a bang but with a whimper. --- Send in a voice message:
10/10/201935 minutes, 49 seconds
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Mini Episode 001: Mark and Tyler Read Fan Mail

Never have fans. Trust us, you'll regret it. For some reason, there are a lot of people who see a podcast about their terrible taste in music as an invitation to contact the hosts and, y'know, say things... Yeah, it's pretty inexcusable behavior but, since we don't seem to be able to put a stop to it, we may as well share some of the best/worst specimens. Here's the first YFBS mini-episode! Mark and Tyler give their no-holds-barred, completely uncensored responses to fan mail. (And, let's be clear, every e-mail we get is fan mail, especially the rage-fueled, typo'd-at-3am-half-drunk-in-your-underwear emails. You're a fan. We don't like it either but you're a fan. Deal with it.) Enjoy! --- Send in a voice message:
10/3/201927 minutes, 6 seconds
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Gorillaz Suck

Clint Eastwood should sue these clowns. Anyone remember when cartoons were for kids and nobody on the planet would dream of confusing the soundtrack with, you know, music? Gorillaz make albums for adults who still eat bowls of cereal for breakfast. The favorite band of Eloi everywhere. It's offensive that anyone thinks we're supposed to take this seriously. Gorillaz suck. --- Send in a voice message:
9/26/201929 minutes, 57 seconds
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Oasis Sucks

Alright, here's your proof. Oasis is hard evidence that talent and work ethic have nothing to do with "making it" in music. If millions of people bought this, they'd buy anything. Liam Gallagher is maybe the worst singer that's been discussed on our show so far. Noel Gallagher has probably been sued for plagiarism more times than Madonna. It's a miracle he's never tried to pass off "Mary Had a Little Lamb" as an original composition. BONUS: every single jerkoff cover of "Wonderwall" that you've ever had to hear is this band's fault. But, hey, we'll admit the Gallaghers seem like very nice guys! --- Send in a voice message:
9/12/201945 minutes, 9 seconds
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Queens of the Stone Age Sucks

You'd think a band with this many songs about drugs could be more than a one-hit wonder but that's just how much Queens of the Stone Age sucks. Someone should invent time travel just so we can send these guys back to prehistory for more guitar riffs. Queens fans think it's impossible to dislike this band. Press play. We'll show you how it's done. --- Send in a voice message:
8/29/201958 minutes, 16 seconds
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The Strokes Suck

From a music business standpoint, here's a textbook example of what not to do. Those of you who remember how this all went down (and, boy, did it go down), you know why this hilarious history lesson is necessary, even though The Strokes never actually did a single thing that mattered, one single thing to deliver on the hype fabricated around them. Just like they requested, The Strokes are well on their way to ultimately being forgotten. Dig out your fave vintage t-shirt that you bought on eBay and wear it one more time while we take this little trip down memory lane... --- Send in a voice message:
8/15/201955 minutes, 33 seconds
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Phil Collins Sucks

Phil Collins sucks so much that it almost feels mean to make fun of him. But we are mean, so who cares? We'll admit that it's honestly pretty impressive how much of a douchebag this guy is but that's not enough for us to excuse the sheer amount of terrible music he's created. If the only song he ever made was "In the Air Tonight," then he'd probably still deserve an episode because that's among the actual worst songs that has ever been made by anyone. And that's only one Phil Collins song. It's terrifying to consider how many more episodes of this podcast we could make about him but that's only to be expected when Ringo Starr is the only drummer in history who is more overrated than Phil. --- Send in a voice message:
8/1/201946 minutes, 41 seconds
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Rush Sucks

This is the best Canada can do, huh? You know what? Have this one back. No, no. We’re fine. Honestly. Yes, you seem very polite but you're clearly trying to convince us that Rush is something other than a Trojan horse to brainwash Americans into acting like even bigger jerks than normal. Get someone smarter than an 8th grader to write the lyrics next time, thanks. The only thing we're still wondering is why anyone thinks any member of this band is great at their instrument. --- Send in a voice message:
7/18/201958 minutes, 5 seconds
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Madonna Sucks: Part Two

Last episode, we went in on Madonna’s lack of originality and talent. Today, we try to understand the why of it all. To what end, all this thievery and stirring up of controversy? Maybe the answer lies somewhere deep inside “Like a Virgin.” Of course, her illustrious acting career cannot be overlooked. There's the groundbreaking Ray of Light album. And there's always, always, some recent example of Madonna doing something even dumber than ever before, such as releasing new music in the year 2019. Madame X needs to X-cuse herself from the spotlight and retire. --- Send in a voice message:
7/4/201940 minutes, 43 seconds
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Madonna Sucks

She can’t sing. She can’t dance. She can’t act. She has no personality of her own. There’s a 90% chance anything anyone thinks she deserves credit for is just something they don’t know was done by someone else, first and better. Can’t figure out what so many people see in Madonna? Trust us, you’re missing nothing. Here's what it takes to be a Madonna fan: you had to be there and you had to have no awareness that Madonna is the bluntest object in the cutting edge drawer.  Listen and learn. --- Send in a voice message:
6/20/201934 minutes, 19 seconds
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Daft Punk Sucks

This might be an episode on Daft Punk and it might not. There's really no way to know... Okay, fine, it is an episode about how much Daft Punk (or whoever's underneath those helmets) sucks. Spoiler Alert: it comes down to way more than the helmets. People who have strong opinions about which Daft Punk album is better than other Daft Punk albums are the same people who have strong opinions about whether Shake Shack burgers are better than In-N-Out burgers. Today, Mark and Tyler are your doctors, here to remind you that all of this crap is terrible for you. --- Send in a voice message:
6/6/201930 minutes, 2 seconds
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Blink 182 Sucks

Yes, this is seriously a podcast with an episode where two adult men sit down to have a discussion about the band Blink 182. If that comes as a surprise to you, it's quite possible you don't even really understand what this show is about. Mark and Tyler are on a mission. It's classified, of course, but there's more than meets the eye and all is not always as it seems. If it was as simple as saying "Blink 182 sucks" and walking away, all anyone would need to have their own hit podcast is a list of YFBS episode titles. (Go ahead. Give it a try.) No. There are great, unknowable mysteries in this universe. From flying saucers to Fyre festivals, pop punk takes another turn in the hot seat today - press play. --- Send in a voice message:
5/23/201935 minutes, 11 seconds
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Neutral Milk Hotel Sucks

We know many YFBS listeners have never heard of Neutral Milk Hotel. Crib Notes: they made an album that is basically the Catcher in the Rye of indie music (still sells 20k copies a year), which is REALLY WEIRD cuz... Well, just listen to the episode. Everyone who's already aware of this band's existence knows this episode is a candidate for the YFBS Hall of Fame. None of this was ever okay and anyone involved in any way ought to be ashamed of themselves. You know better. Now, press play and take your medicine so maybe we can live in a world where these In the Aeroplane over the Sea men aren't allowed to get away with this ever again. --- Send in a voice message:
5/9/201939 minutes, 59 seconds
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Pink Floyd Sucks

Did we take too much? Is Pink Floyd really allowed to put the same song on their album three times and not have fans lined up for a refund? Maybe that's just something you gotta do when your band only came up with two melodies in their whole career. (See also: ten minute sections where nothing happens. See also: an audio-only cooking show where a song should be.) But none of that explains how Pink Floyd got away with exploiting their first singer's mental breakdown as source material for Dark Side of the Moon, which has sold HOW MANY COPIES?!? --- Send in a voice message:
4/25/201944 minutes, 6 seconds
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REM Sucks

REM is the band that invented Indie Alternative Everything and became The Best American Band Ever, right? Right? Absolutely not. You want to know what really happened here? These guys heard cool records before the other kids did. Such geniuses! One of the most hilarious things about REM is their fans think this is somehow different than Matchbox 20. But whatever you do, don't ask one of those same fans about their vintage REM tour t-shirt. Just, trust us. Don't. --- Send in a voice message:
4/11/201937 minutes, 15 seconds
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Christmas Music Sucks: Part Two

Christmas music is literally the worst. If you hate it, you're probably having an awful day right now. Here's a surprise, unannounced episode about how much Christmas music sucks. It's also the longest episode we've ever made. Laugh it off. Yeah, we already made an episode about Christmas music. It was the third one. We remember. But that's how much Christmas music sucks! We can and will go back, time and again, to this endless wellspring of evil! This year, every band covered on the show so far has to answer for their crimes in the genre and we take a deeper look at the history of this most awful of holidays! --- Send in a voice message:
12/25/20181 hour, 27 minutes, 26 seconds
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Metallica Sucks: Part Two

Surprising nobody, Metallica is a band that has done entirely too many bad and stupid things to fit them all in one episode. Need more reasons why Metallica sucks? Here's our Part Two! Last week, Mark and Tyler got into how this Metallica mess was made - not a safe space for Megadeth fans - as well as Lars' war on Napster. This week, it's a deep dive into Post-Haircut Metallica. Or as deep as you can go with these mental giants... --- Send in a voice message:
12/19/201837 minutes, 9 seconds
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Metallica Sucks

Honestly, we don't even have to pitch this one. Metallica sucks. There's no such thing as a Metallica fan who hasn't felt screwed over and/or disappointed in this band. Hey, remember when Metallica made the Worst Album Ever? Here's the problem: there are at least 3 separate Metallica albums you could assume that last sentence was about. This band is way past its expiration date and never should've been allowed to exist in the first place. Ripping off less successful bands, treating each other like human excrement, suing their fans... these guys have done it all! Press play on the episode and bask in sweet, sweet truth... before Lars sues us. --- Send in a voice message:
12/13/201837 minutes, 53 seconds
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Modest Mouse Sucks

Modest Mouse is the audio equivalent of not having enough blankets in the desert at night while high on ketamine: uncomfortable, unpleasant and very confusing. Good news for people who love bad lyrics and guitars that sound like pinwheels. You just know this dude would start a cult if he ever accidentally figured out how to say something interesting. Modest Mouse is actually a pretty fitting band name. This is about as timid as neurotic gets, right? Or is it as neurotic as timid gets? Holy crap, are we accidentally writing Modest Mouse lyrics right now?! --- Send in a voice message:
12/6/201833 minutes, 12 seconds
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Stone Temple Pilots Suck

Practically no one would attempt to defend Stone Temple Pilots at their worst ("Sour Girl"). But if you're warming up an argument for Core being a total classic, then you're going to want to pump the brakes and hit play on this episode, immediately. These guitar riffs are your favorite guitar riffs if the only guitar you've ever owned is a Guitar Hero controller. All the lipstick and thrift store cashmere in the world couldn't replace Scott Weiland's lack of anything interesting (or even coherent) to say. Much like the '90s, this band was always so much worse than you're remembering. If Stone Temple Pilots are any indication, the surest route to financial success and career longevity is to never, not even for a second, display any degree of originality in your music. Is this the best band of rock's worst hour? You be the judge... Trigger Warning: there is a lot of extremely accurate and, therefore, terrible singing in this episode. Also, the guys talk about Christmas music. --- Send in a voice message:
11/29/201849 minutes, 38 seconds
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Tears for Fears Sucks

You ever wonder how bad of an idea it would be to start a band after reading exactly one pop psychology book and buying into some new crackpot therapy method? Look no further... Tears for Fears (a.k.a. literal crybabies, Curt Smith and Roland Orzabal) just want to make you shout. No, not like The Isley Brothers. Not like that at all. Basically, these dickweeds were barely in their 20s when they decided they knew how to fix the world (which is, like, we all should cry and scream more?) and that's what their songs are about. Cool, huh? (Yes, this really happened. We're not making it up.) Call your shrink and tell them sessions are canceled because it turns out Tears for Fears has you covered. --- Send in a voice message:
11/22/201829 minutes, 41 seconds
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Rage Against the Machine Sucks

Rage Against the Machine is an example of why A.I. is going to eliminate the human species as soon as we turn it on because we are clearly too stupid and illogical to be making decisions that impact the universe. Rage Against the Machine can't be real, right? This is like that "Berenstein" Bears thing. A shared cultural hallucination, in which, some-crazy-how, a band who chose this name was able to get away with ANY OF THIS?!?! RIGHT?!??! PLEASE?!??! --- Send in a voice message:
11/15/201834 minutes, 51 seconds
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Black Sabbath Sucks

Black Sabbath's entire schtick would be ripe for savage mocking on its own, except it probably isn't even their schtick? This is easily the weirdest marketing of a Christian Rock band, ever, by the way. What the hell? These guys need a manager... What if The Flintstones took drugs and started a band? Funny you should ask, there's this band called Black Sabbath. Yeah, they're for sure rolling deep in some caveman DNA and that stuff doesn't mix well with LSD. Just listen to this trash. Black Sabbath sucks. --- Send in a voice message:
11/8/201842 minutes, 11 seconds
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Outkast Sucks

If Outkast was just a rap group, we'd probably leave them alone. But, nah. They decided to murder a little piece of everyone by blanketing the inhabited universe with a little ditty called "Hey Ya," for, what was it? Seven years? So we're going in... It's no secret that Big Boi & Andre 3000 seem to have a difficult time reforming as Outkast these days. You ask us? Looks like things were headed for sour all the way back when everybody thought shit was sweet. In fact, you can pretty much track the direct correlation between how many people were paying attention to this band and how off the rails it got. Who feels like singing about poop? Idlewild, anyone? Y'all might want to sit down for this one because, well, it turns out that Outkast sucks. --- Send in a voice message:
11/1/201842 minutes, 1 second
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Elvis Costello Sucks

Parents everywhere lose the “you’re not dropping out” argument to their teenagers on a regular basis because Elvis Costello inexplicably had a career in music. How do you talk someone out of chasing their dreams if this guy can make it? It's madness. Who put Elvis Costello on the sacred cow shelf? Because this dude doesn't even belong in the room. Elvis Costello sucks. Mark and Tyler are entirely at a loss for understanding, here. The only way this makes sense is if there's a conspiracy amongst music critics to break talentless acts just for kicks. Wait... --- Send in a voice message:
10/25/201832 minutes, 32 seconds
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Queen Sucks

Queen is a fitting name because this band royally sucks. Arena Rock is just another word for pandering on as huge a scale as possible. Write two jock jams and coast on filler. Way to go, guys. Maybe next time you can do one about a cat pissing? Half this band's "biggest fans" know ten of their songs and they only even really like five of those, so what gives? Wait... Is Queen actually music? Or is this something else... Huge crowds of people, stomping their feet and chanting... Something about this is familiar... Also, Brian May is a nerd. --- Send in a voice message:
10/18/201830 minutes, 7 seconds
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The Misfits Suck

Now that everyone's decided the entirety of October is Halloween Month, we're seeing way too many people who find it acceptable to not only walk around wearing Misfits merch but actually listen to their atrocious music. So, surprise, The Misfits suck! And if you are somehow operating under the delusion that The Misfits do NOT suck, your musical standards are not where they need to be. This fails on every level except "I like it because it's terrible and I like terrible things because I'm different." Oh, wait, they called their band Misfits.... --- Send in a voice message:
10/11/201826 minutes, 15 seconds
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Led Zeppelin Sucks

The band that committed every crime in the Rock & Roll Rule Book... If there's been a worse influence on rock vocalists than Robert Plant, please remember that Janis Joplin is too annoying to even think about, let alone bring into this conversation. Someone should really go back and look at how much the transmission rate of STDs in middle schools rose every year that Jimmy Page toured the United States. John Bonham is a legend among people who get excited about things like hitting stuff real hard. And you'll just have to listen to the episode to hear what we have to say about John Paul Jones a.k.a. The Other Guy in This Band. Rightly panned by critics at nearly every point of their career, loathed by their peers, perpetrators of the actual worst radio ballad of all time - Led Zeppelin Sucks! --- Send in a voice message:
10/4/201852 minutes, 32 seconds
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Nine Inch Nails Sucks

This is the McDonald's of goth culture. Goth Daddy Too Buff (a.k.a. Trent Reznor) has been cashing in on teen angst for thirty freakin' years. Think about that for a second. This is a 50-year-old man who's monetized temper tantrums. Give us a break. Mark likes to refer to Nine Inch Nails as "Ministry Jr." because NIN rips off Ministry so hard that they even went through a phase of being an extremely campy new wave project before getting all dark and dressing like it's Mad Max out here. Oh, but then there's Skinny Puppy... And New Order... And, just, come on, Nine Inch Nails sucks. --- Send in a voice message:
7/5/201831 minutes, 54 seconds
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Smashing Pumpkins Suck

First of all, this isn't a band. It's Billy Corgan going into a studio and recording 100 guitar tracks per song, then whispering half his vocals before eating a bunch of broken glass and recording the other half. You're not Kevin Shields, man. Chill. Next, this episode contains a shocking revelation about the music of Smashing Pumpkins. It's honestly so important that it could end up in the viral news cycle. But until Buzzfeed rips off our insights, you'll just have to listen to the episode to hear it. The Smashing Pumpkins suck. --- Send in a voice message:
6/28/201843 minutes, 52 seconds
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The Doors Suck

The Doors are the musical equivalent of a 20-year-old who's taken five guitar lessons and one philosophy class. That's gonna seem pretty far ahead of where you are when you're 15. You're not 15. Stop listening to this band. This is also a great example of why automatically respecting your elders is such an inherently stupid concept. How are we supposed to respect the generation that let this band become one of the most overhyped bands to ever exist? The Doors suck. --- Send in a voice message:
6/21/201840 minutes, 31 seconds
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The Smiths Suck

Everyone likes The Smiths because it's super impressive that Morrissey, clearly a deaf man, can approximate singing, right? Also, guess what, it ain't just Morrissey. This entire band is the worst. Are The Smiths influential? Sure. Are any of the bands they influenced good, like, even a little bit? Absolutely not. Go back in time, make The Smiths not happen and everything that happened later instantly gets 10% better. Duran Duran were a better band and it's not even close. Get ready to get sad about how much The Smiths suck. --- Send in a voice message:
6/14/201843 minutes, 59 seconds
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Steely Dan Sucks

Listen up, Danfans. You've been wrong and you always will be wrong until the moment you admit that liking Steely Dan is the audio equivalent of enjoying the smell of your own farts. Steely Dan sucks. Nothing about this is as interesting as you think it is. You might as well track down the studio musicians who make all the Goldman Sachs elevator muzak and pretend like they're the greatest thing ever because that is literally all this is. By the way, never let yourself be alone in a room with someone whose favorite band is Steely Dan. Trust us. --- Send in a voice message:
6/7/201825 minutes, 25 seconds
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The Beastie Boys Suck

The Beastie Boys not only suck but are also perhaps the single most annoying gimmick in music history. It is jaw-dropping that this made-for-frat-boys cultural theft happened and that critics somehow fell in love with it. It's as if three people were sitting around wondering how stupid any single musical act could possibly be and this is what they came up with. If that's what happened, wow, they nailed it. It doesn't get much worse than this. More like The Bullshit Boys. --- Send in a voice message:
5/24/201822 minutes, 32 seconds
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Fleetwood Mac Sucks

Fleetwood Mac is a trash fire. Nobody even really likes this crap, they just think they remember liking it. Revisit those "classic" Fleetwood Mac albums for lessons in trash songwriting, hilariously bad singing and probably the worst production ever heard in a #1 album. Is it any wonder a band full of terrible people made terrible music? Lindsey Buckingham apparently never recovered from being named "Lindsey" cuz this beta dude is the definition of fragile masculinity. The perfect creative force for a band full of drug-addled narcissists who can't stop screwing each other and screwing each other over. --- Send in a voice message:
5/17/201843 minutes, 43 seconds
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Slayer Sucks

What makes a band the heaviest metal band ever? Unless it's ridiculous Satanic imagery, muddy production, subpar musicianship, stupid lyrics and releasing the same album over and over for militant fans... Slayer doesn't have it. Every music writer who ever voted for Reign in Blood to be on a list of the best metal albums ever made should lose their job effective immediately. Honestly, if they had any self respect, they'd resign. That's what Slayer is finally doing after years of raking it in as the most overhyped band in metal history, retiring. And to that we say: good. Slayer sucks. --- Send in a voice message:
5/10/201825 minutes, 45 seconds
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Social Distortion Sucks

Are we sure Mike Ness didn't see Grease in 1978 and decide to start a band? Because, uh, it would make a lot of sense if that was exactly how Social Distortion happened. What doesn't make any sense is why people liked it then, still like it now and, in fact, incorporate this glorified cover band into their entire personality. Take Fonzie, give him an arsenal of entry-level country music covers and a capo, get Bruce Springsteen to make a trip out to California and explain authenticity to Mike Ness - boom! You just made yourself some Social D, baby! This episode is not brought to you by House of Blues. --- Send in a voice message:
5/3/201820 minutes, 7 seconds
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The Who Suck

A lot of people think The Who is a great, legendary band. They point to the virtuoso musicianship, great songwriting, genius concept albums and, of course, that rock opera. This would all be well and good, except for the fact that this band sucks. We've all been lied to about The Who. Nobody here was anywhere near the best there ever was at anything they did. (Nor were they the second or even third best, as is often the follow-up argument.) In this episode, Mark and Tyler turn over every stone to try and discover what anyone ever saw or heard in this band... and, well, it gets ugly... --- Send in a voice message:
4/26/201850 minutes, 30 seconds
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Sublime Sucks

Life IS too short so listen to this and learn exactly why you should never waste another second of your existence hearing Sublime. Everyone with a brain in their head already knows that Sublime sucks, right? The answer is yes. Maybe you think you've got a good idea of how much this band sucks. Trust us, it's worse. There is so much awful information waiting for you in this episode. Honestly, this may be a Top Ten Worst Band of All Time, people. And if you don't believe that, hey, press play and let us know how you feel after listening. --- Send in a voice message:
4/19/201833 minutes, 17 seconds
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Bon Jovi Sucks

Bon Jovi sucks so much Mark and Tyler can't even get worked up over it. Listen as your favorite podcast hosts casually dismantle this band's career until, eventually, with no worthy adversary to team up against, Mark and Tyler turn on each other... As we've seen before, Bon Jovi isn't even a band. It's John Bongiovi's personal ego trip, kid-tested and mother-approved. Sometimes a pocketful of clichés is all it takes to reach the *cough*laughing-stock*cough* Rock & Roll Hall of Fame, kids! There isn't going to be an episode of the podcast next week because Tyler and Mark are mad at each other over this one. --- Send in a voice message:
3/8/201832 minutes, 50 seconds
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Nirvana Sucks

Voted one of the Five Worst Bands of the '90s by Rolling Stone readers in 2013, Nirvana made what BBC listeners in 2005 considered to be the most overrated album ever, Nevermind. So, it's not even up to us, the results are in and Nirvana sucks! You know we have problems with Kurt Cobain being one of the most heralded "songwriters" of the slacker generation. (He's not even a songwriter, let alone a good one.) You know we have problems with Nirvana biting their sound from better bands. You know we have problems with this whole 27 Club suicide death cult self-selected martyr thing. But Nirvana was merely a symptom of a much larger problem: grunge. A truly awful cacophony - and dangerous, too! It's quite possible that grunge killed more people than gangster rap. Anyway, you're already pissed off about us making this episode, so you may as well listen to it now. --- Send in a voice message:
3/1/201844 minutes, 50 seconds
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Weezer Sucks

If Weezer were a newly discovered animal species, the Latin name would be dorkus malorkus. The only guy in the band who matters thinks songwriting can be done with formulas and spreadsheets. What more do you need to know? How about some nerdy sexism? Yeah, yeah. You liked this band when you were a teenager. Question: you ever make any other mistakes when you were a teenager? After listening to the evidence in this episode, you should agree with us that Weezer's existence is nothing more than a giant mistake and it's time to bring it all to an end. --- Send in a voice message:
2/22/201851 minutes, 12 seconds
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The Grateful Dead Sucks

It's possible The Grateful Dead smelled even worse than they sounded, which is really saying something. Even their fans agree, this band sucks. But let's be honest, this episode is just as much about trashing hippies as it is about trashing The Grateful Dead. And one of the worst things about hippies is that they think it's acceptable to listen to The Grateful Dead. It's not. The only way anyone tolerated the sound was by being annihilated on drugs. Well, then there's Ann Coulter... --- Send in a voice message:
2/15/201836 minutes, 20 seconds
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KISS Sucks

All these songs sound like a 13 year old boy talking about what he thinks sex would be like and half the merch is marketed at 10 year olds. Who let this happen? Also, is KISS even a band? Because none of them can write, sing or play an instrument. Oh, yeah, we know your parents let you listen to this when you were a kid. But what we're saying is they did maybe-irreparable damage to you in doing so and it's possible that every failed relationship in your life could be this band's fault. Also, no, this is not genius marketing but good try at skirting the main issue, which is that KISS sucks! --- Send in a voice message:
2/8/201830 minutes, 59 seconds
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Interpol Sucks

Calling Interpol a Joy Division ripoff is so much more than they deserve. Rocking gun holsters onstage seems a lot less cool these days, huh? Yeah, so does this entire band because Interpol sucks! Learn how to not get on board the wrong hype train! Find out what "their first album was good but everything after that is bad" really means! Discover several bands you need to be listening to if you ever thought it was acceptable to own an Interpol album! Don't even try to read their lyrics... --- Send in a voice message:
2/1/201822 minutes, 48 seconds
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Tool Sucks

Tool is the official soundtrack of thinking you're smarter than everyone else. Caveat lector, edgelords. We're coming straight for the chinks in your armor. In this episode, Mark and Tyler treat a dissection of Tool with all the respect the band deserves, which is none. The formula to create this product is laughably easy. There's a reason Tool fans have a reputation as some of the worst people in America - they are. Listen, realizing you're an idiot is never easy but try not to overreact, okay? --- Send in a voice message:
1/25/201830 minutes, 54 seconds
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Radiohead Sucks

Alright, hands off of each other. The circle jerk is over. Radiohead's sound went from an unoriginal whine to a mess of incompetent IDM. Then, they got to work making it harder for young artists to get a leg up in the business. Mark thinks Limp Bizkit is for sure a better band than Radiohead and he's probably right about that. Tyler thinks Radiohead ruined music criticism forever. Also, it's worth listening to the music business dork discussion on In Rainbows' release strategy to get to the part after that about how this band was rejected by James Bond himself. This episode was recorded several months ago but the guys had time to come back and add more thoughts on Thom and company ripping off The Hollies, now that they want to come after Lana Del Rey for doing the same thing. Radiohead sucks. --- Send in a voice message:
1/18/201843 minutes, 49 seconds
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The Police Suck

The Police hate being called white reggae, which is weird because this is what happens when a self-admitted "fake punk band" tries to rip off reggae. Your super-spiritual aunt thinks Sting is enlightened and she's wrong because Sting is audio blackface. Some guy who hasn't bought a new album in 15 years thinks Stewart Copeland is a phenomenal drummer and he's wrong because Copeland is one of the most overrated musicians in history. Nobody thinks anything about Andy Summers. The Police suck. --- Send in a voice message:
1/11/201826 minutes, 58 seconds
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Green Day Sucks

Don't feel bad for listening to Mark & Tyler dump on Green Day. They deserve it, maybe more than any other band on the podcast so far. They've stolen more songs than Led Zeppelin, their big political statements are all BS and, well, they suck. In defense of Green Day, everyone who has accused them of selling out is an idiot. This band never started (or stopped) sucking for monetary gain because they have always sucked. Too old for their schtick? Check. Hypocrites? Check. Amateur hour with the booze? Check. Song thieves? Check. --- Send in a voice message:
1/4/201830 minutes, 13 seconds
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LCD Soundsystem Sucks

This is what would happen if Derek Zoolander started a band. Next time New York City comes up with some trash like this, do everyone a favor and keep it to yourselves. LCD Soundsystem sucks so hard, their own fans got mad at them for getting back together. That's pretty bad, right? Would anyone know or care about this band if dude hadn't founded DFA Records? No, they would not. Mark and Tyler break it down. --- Send in a voice message:
12/28/201725 minutes, 50 seconds
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Red Hot Chili Peppers Suck

Red Hot Chili Peppers are the herpes of music! They destroyed American rock radio, maybe forever. (Like herpes.) Flea can play a lot of notes but he's playing them on a bass guitar so nobody should care. Oh, by the way, does anyone happen to know what Anthony Kiedis' favorite state is? Yeah, shut up about California, dude. We get it. Switch it up a little. Write another song about your wiener. What on earth was John Frusciante ever doing in this band? Mark has strong opinions about Dave Navarro! Tyler is concerned about the ability of one particular RHCP fan to pass an STD screening! Mike Patton has a legitimate reason to hate Anthony Kiedis! All that and more - on this week's episode of Your Favorite Band Sucks! --- Send in a voice message:
12/21/201730 minutes, 42 seconds
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U2 Sucks

Is U2 the single most overrated band on the planet? They very well may be. Saying that U2 sucks is like saying that passing a cluster of kidney stones sucks. Words don't do it justice. Still, Mark and Tyler have bad things to say about U2. Very bad things. The Edge has never even been able to play guitar. Bono seems to have a total lack of self-awareness from day one. Side note: can we please get a petition going to ban him from being in documentaries and/or continuing to be a massive hypocrite on political issues? --- Send in a voice message:
12/14/201749 minutes, 14 seconds
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Christmas Music Sucks

This has to stop. Nobody asked for it and nobody wants it. Christmas music is canceled. If we all come together on this then we can make it happen. How would that be for a Christmas miracle?! We dedicate this episode of Your Favorite Band Sucks to anyone who has ever worked retail in the month of December. You didn't deserve that. --- Send in a voice message:
12/7/201727 minutes, 9 seconds
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The Rolling Stones Suck

If you think the Rolling Stones are "cool" then you probably tried to join the Sons of Anarchy motorcycle gang at some point. They're not cool. They never were. They were told how to dress and how to talk. Even they know they suck at making music because they've only put out two albums in the past, like, twenty years and one of them was just a bunch of stupid covers. --- Send in a voice message:
12/7/201737 minutes, 58 seconds
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The Beatles Suck

Yeah, yeah. You think we think we're edgy for saying The Beatles suck. No, they really do suck. They made bad music and you should feel bad for liking it. Unless you already agree with us, in which case, welcome to your new favorite podcast. The Beatles took American music and sold it back to us with accents and stupid haircuts. Why are we supposed to be impressed? Oh, because they were the first ones to... Wait, they weren't the first ones to do anything important? What's going on here? Mark thinks if The Beatles are your favorite band then you don't even like music. Tyler doesn't disagree. Hear why The Beatles don't deserve credit for anything other than how much they suck on the first episode of Your Favorite Band Sucks. --- Send in a voice message:
12/7/201738 minutes, 16 seconds