On this week's episode: George Santos enters the find out era of political tenure ... The Macy’s Day Parade will go woke ... And there's a US senator named Markwayne. To support our show on Patreon, go here: https://www.patreon.com/skepticrat To hear more from Evil Giraffes on Mars, go here: https://www.facebook.com/EvilGiraffesOnMars Get great deals while supporting the show by checking out our sponsors: https://www.trustandwill.com/skepticrat https://www.betterhelp.com/skepticrat Another amazing word of the day idea from Susie Dent: https://twitter.com/susie_dent Headline Sources: Ethics panel releases findings on George Santos, Santos says he won’t see

On this week's episode: Donald Trump’s gag orders expand into the literal ... Dominic Cummings will teach the BBC some naughty words ... And Trump's legal team defends him from the abolitionists of Colorado. To support our show on Patreon, go here: https://www.patreon.com/skepticrat To hear more from Evil Giraffes on Mars, go here: https://www.facebook.com/EvilGiraffesOnMars Get great deals while supporting the show by checking out our sponsors: https://www.trustandwill.com/skepticrat https://www.betterhelp.com/skepticrat Another amazing word of the day idea from Susie Dent: https://twitter.com/susie_dent Headline Sources: Appeals court freezes gag order

On this week's episode: A lying poker player gets called on his bluff ... a lying Congressman does too ... and Jim Jordan angrily looks for the receipt for his custom solid gold gavel. To support our show on Patreon, go here: https://www.patreon.com/skepticrat To hear more from Evil Giraffes on Mars, go here: https://www.facebook.com/EvilGiraffesOnMars Get great deals while supporting the show by checking out our sponsors: https://www.betterhelp.com/skepticrat https://www.policygenius.com https://www.trustandwill.com/skepticrat https://www.auraframes.com/skepticrat Another amazing word of the day idea from Susie Dent:

On this week's episode: Eli will file a motion to vacate against Heath, Republicans continue their Mexican standoff against themselves, and Mike Lindell will put the “fraud” into “schadenfreude” … again. To support our show on Patreon, go here: https://www.patreon.com/skepticrat To hear more from Evil Giraffes on Mars, go here: https://www.facebook.com/EvilGiraffesOnMars Get great deals while supporting the show by checking out our sponsors: https://www.trustandwill.com/skepticrat https://www.betterhelp.com/skepticrat Headlines: McCarthy ousted as house speaker: https://apnews.com/article/mccarthy-ga

On this week's episode: We'll put the "cynic" back in arsenic, we'll share a difficult story about our X, and we'll join Lauren Boebert for a night at the theater. To support our show on Patreon, go here: https://www.patreon.com/skepticrat To hear more from Evil Giraffes on Mars, go here: https://www.facebook.com/EvilGiraffesOnMars Get great deals while supporting the show by checking out our sponsors: https://www.trustandwill.com/skepticrat https://www.policygenius.com

On this week's episode: The Republican primary choice is none of the above ... We make it through a story about the moon’s south pole with no ass jokes ... And Mitch McConnell runs out of dial-up hours again. To support our show on Patreon, go here: https://www.patreon.com/skepticrat To hear more from Evil Giraffes on Mars, go here: https://www.facebook.com/EvilGiraffesOnMars Get great deals while supporting the show by checking out our sponsors: https://www.betterhelp.com/skepticrat https://www.trustandwill.com/skepticrat https://www.auraframes.com/skepticrat https://www.policygenius.com Headline Sources: GOP pri

On this week's episode: We’ll talk about a giant Republican pee pee ... You’ll learn that Eli isn’t talking about the debate ... And Florida supplements its school of hard knocks curriculum with material from PragerU. To support our show on Patreon, go here: https://www.patreon.com/skepticrat To hear more from Evil Giraffes on Mars, go here: https://www.facebook.com/EvilGiraffesOnMars Get great deals while supporting the show by checking out our sponsors: https://www.betterhelp.com/skepticrat https://www.policygenius.com https://www.auraframes.com/skepticrat Another amazing word of the day idea from Susie Dent: https://twitter.com/susi

On this week's episode: Republicans won't rest until the highest court in the land finds Hunter Biden just a guy who did meth a few times ... We take bets on whether Trump can make it to this episode airing before violating his protective order ... And a very sad white nationalist militia does some dive action roll playing. To support our show on Patreon, go here: https://www.patreon.com/skepticrat To hear more from Evil Giraffes on Mars, go here: https://www.facebook.com/EvilGiraffesOnMars Get great deals while supporting the show by checking out our sponsors: https://www.betterhelp.com/skepticrat https://www.policygenius.com https://www.auraframes.com/skepticrat Another amazing

On this week's episode: ALIENS ARE REAL ... Rishi Sunak falls narrowly short of being the biggest loser in half a century ... And after his MyPillow garage sale, Mike Lindell's net worth remains at approximately negative 1.3 billion. To support our show on Patreon, go here: https://www.patreon.com/skepticrat To hear more from Evil Giraffes on Mars, go here: https://www.facebook.com/EvilGiraffesOnMars Get great deals while supporting the show by checking out our sponsors: https://www.policygenius.com https://www.betterhelp.com/skepticrat https://www.auraframes.com/skepticrat https://www.manscaped.com (code SKEPTICRAT) Another amazing w

On this week's episode: Hollywood finds a SAG it can root for ... We’ll learn that anything can be a UFO if you’re dumb enough ... And Mike Lindell is selling "bag of pretty good pillow stuff" on Facebook Marketplace. To support our show on Patreon, go here: https://www.patreon.com/skepticrat To hear more from Evil Giraffes on Mars, go here: https://www.facebook.com/EvilGiraffesOnMars Get great deals while supporting the show by checking out our sponsors: https://www.betterhelp.com/skepticrat https://www.auraframes.com/skepticrat https://www.policygenius.com https://www.manscaped.com (code SKEPTICRAT) Another amazing word of the day idea f

This week, Marsh joins us for a follow up to his investigative report from the previous episode -- in which Eli gets the cops called on him by a bank. For reals. --- To support our show on Patreon, go here: https://www.patreon.com/skepticrat To hear more from Evil Giraffes on Mars, go here: https://www.facebook.com/EvilGiraffesOnMars This episode is sponsor by Better Help. Give Better Help a try here:  https://www.betterhelp.com/skepticrat Another amazing word of the day idea from Susie Dent: https://twitter.com/susie_dent Headline Sources: Supreme Court descends all the way into “tool of oppression” territory: https://www

On this week's episode: Fox News wades into a Twitter fight ... The party’s finally over for Boris Johnson ... And Republicans buy something even dumber than Donald Trump's innocence. To support our show on Patreon, go here: https://www.patreon.com/skepticrat To hear more from Evil Giraffes on Mars, go here: https://www.facebook.com/EvilGiraffesOnMars Get great deals while supporting the show by checking out our sponsors: https://www.betterhelp.com/skepticrat https://www.auraframes.com/skepticrat https://www.policygenius.com https://www.manscaped.com (code SKEPTICRAT) Another amazing word of the day idea from Susie Dent: <a href="https

On this week's episode: India embraces ignorance as their national anthem ... Trump will make “at least Jack Teixeira got Minecraft discord server cred” a genuine consideration ... And Ron DeSantis almost kills Big Bird with his disaster of a campaign launch. To support our show on Patreon, go here: https://www.patreon.com/skepticrat To hear more from Evil Giraffes on Mars, go here: https://www.facebook.com/EvilGiraffesOnMars Get great deals while supporting the show by checking out our sponsors: https://auraframes.com/skepticrat https://www.policygenius.com https://www.betterhelp.com/skepticrat https://www.manscaped.com (code SKEPTICRAT) <

On this week's episode: The price of freedom might be Robux ... Mickey Mouse kicks DeSantis in the balls so hard their vocal ranges match ... And we start a GoFundMe to clone George Santos and ask it what George would say. To support our show on Patreon, go here: https://www.patreon.com/skepticrat To hear more from Evil Giraffes on Mars, go here: https://www.facebook.com/EvilGiraffesOnMars Get great deals while supporting the show by checking out our sponsors: https://www.policygenius.com https://www.betterhelp.com/skepticrat https://www.manscaped.com (code SKEPTICRAT) https://www.hellofresh.com/skepticrat65 Another amazing word of

On this week's episode: Someone tries to make a fagioli out of New Jersey ... The Supreme Court proves they’re above reproach by jumping really high ... And Tucker Carlson wants to connect with you on LinkenIn. To support our show on Patreon, go here: https://www.patreon.com/skepticrat To hear more from Evil Giraffes on Mars, go here: https://www.facebook.com/EvilGiraffesOnMars Get great deals while supporting the show by checking out our sponsors: https://www.betterhelp.com/skepticrat https://www.policygenius.com https://www.manscaped.com (code SKEPTICRAT) https://www.hellofresh.com/skepticrat65 Headline Sources: Enrique

On this week's episode: The Supreme Court puts evil on pause ... Belgium proves you don’t have to be a bigot to destroy beer for stupid reasons ... And bad people lose SO MUCH MONEY. To support our show on Patreon, go here: https://www.patreon.com/skepticrat To hear more from Evil Giraffes on Mars, go here: https://www.facebook.com/EvilGiraffesOnMars Get great deals while supporting the show by checking out our sponsors: https://www.betterhelp.com/skepticrat https://www.policygenius.com https://www.manscaped.com (code SKEPTICRAT) https://www.hellofresh.com/skepticrat65 Another amazing word of the day idea from Susie Dent: <a

On this week's episode: The image of Donald Trump in an orange jumpsuit is Eli's patronus ... Gwyneth Paltrow wins the homeopathic equivalent of a three million dollar settlement ... And Lauren Boebert puts the pee in GOP. To support our show on Patreon, go here: https://www.patreon.com/skepticrat To hear more from Evil Giraffes on Mars, go here: https://www.facebook.com/EvilGiraffesOnMars Get great deals while supporting the show by checking out our sponsors: https://www.betterhelp.com/skepticrat https://www.policygenius.com https://www.manscaped.com (code SKEPTICRAT) https://www.hellofresh.com/skepticrat65 Another amazing word o

On this week's episode: Congress takes on the tick-a-ma-tocks ... Noah makes Eli listen to astronomy words ... And we explore the burgeoning alt-right semen sector. To support our show on Patreon, go here: https://www.patreon.com/skepticrat To hear more from Evil Giraffes on Mars, go here: https://www.facebook.com/EvilGiraffesOnMars Get great deals while supporting the show by checking out our sponsors: https://www.manscaped.com (code SKEPTICRAT) https://www.betterhelp.com/skepticrat https://www.hellofresh.com/skepticrat65 Another amazing word of the day idea from Susie Dent: https://twitter.com/susie_dent Headline Sour

On this week's episode: Watching the January 6th tapes backwards shows they were actually cleaning ... We get an inside look into just how incompetently the Tories handled COVID ... And Dilbert gets called in for a tough meeting with HR. To support our show on Patreon, go here: https://www.patreon.com/skepticrat To hear more from Evil Giraffes on Mars, go here: https://www.facebook.com/EvilGiraffesOnMars Get great deals while supporting the show by checking out our sponsors: https://www.betterhelp.com/skepticrat https://www.hellofresh.com/skepticrat65 Another amazing word of the day idea from Susie Dent: https://twitter.com/susie_dent Headline Sources: Fo

On this week's episode: We’ll lend a whole new meaning to smeared in the press ... We’ll talk about Navy SEAL cum astronaut George Santos ... And Donald Trump orders food at McDonald's SUPER DUPER BIGMACLY WELL. To support our show on Patreon, go here: https://www.patreon.com/skepticrat To hear more from Evil Giraffes on Mars, go here: https://www.facebook.com/EvilGiraffesOnMars Get great deals while supporting the show by checking out our sponsors: https://www.betterhelp.com/skepticrat https://www.policygenius.com https://www.hellofresh.com/skepticrat65 Headline Sources: Train derailment spills toxic chemicals all the hell over the place in Ohio: <a href=

On this week's episode: Sarah Huckabee Sanders enters the state of the union from the top rope ... Marjorie Taylor Greene gets jealous of people with thought balloons and goes for a DYI ... And the House Oversight Committee holds an Acme hearing that does NOT end well for them. To support our show on Patreon, go here: https://www.patreon.com/skepticrat To hear more from Evil Giraffes on Mars, go here: https://www.facebook.com/EvilGiraffesOnMars Get great deals while supporting the show by checking out our sponsors: https://www.betterhelp.com/skepticrat https://www.policygenius.com https://www.hellofresh.com/skepticrat65 Another amazing word of the day idea from Susie Dent:<

On this week's episode: The US addresses the balance of trade with Brazil by exporting insane insurrections ... Ron DeSantis continues trying to make it illegal to learn just how racist he is ... And Tucker Carlson tells us about the dangers of M&amp;Ms and the power of cigarettes. To support our show on Patreon, go here: https://www.patreon.com/skepticrat To hear more from Evil Giraffes on Mars, go here: https://www.facebook.com/EvilGiraffesOnMars Get great deals while supporting the show by checking out our sponsors: https://www.betterhelp.com/skepticrat https://www.policygenius.com https://www.hellofresh.com/skepticrat65 Another amazing word of the day idea from Susie De

On this week's episode: Kevin McCarthy speaks for a house divided ... We finally find the line for “bullshit not even the Tories will support” ... And now that we got the private sector involved, space travel is finally failing EFFICIENTLY. To support our show on Patreon, go here: https://www.patreon.com/skepticrat To hear more from Evil Giraffes on Mars, go here: https://www.facebook.com/EvilGiraffesOnMars Get great deals while supporting the show by checking out our sponsors: https://www.betterhelp.com/skepticrat https://www.policygenius.com https://www.hellofresh.com/skepticrat65 Headline Sources: US House barely gets McCarthy as speaker and immediately does ho

On this week's episode: Southwest Airlines tries to commit suicide by customer ... Trump’s taxes show suspiciously large write offs for “magical beans” ... And a men's rights activist makes a reGRETAble mistake. To support our show on Patreon, go here: https://www.patreon.com/skepticrat To hear more from Evil Giraffes on Mars, go here: https://www.facebook.com/EvilGiraffesOnMars Get great deals while supporting the show by checking out our sponsors: https://www.betterhelp.com/skepticrat https://www.policygenius.com https://www.hellofresh.com/skepticrat65 Headline Sources: Dems release Trump’s tax returns: <a href="https://www.cnn.com/2022/12/30/politics/donald-trum

On this week's episode: We’ll wrap up the year because we forgot to get you a Christmas present ... We’ll miss obvious topical references because we recorded this a week early ... And lots of tea, lots of schadenfreude. To support our show on Patreon, go here: https://www.patreon.com/skepticrat To hear more from Evil Giraffes on Mars, go here: https://www.facebook.com/EvilGiraffesOnMars Get great deals while supporting the show by checking out our sponsors: https://www.betterhelp.com/skepticrat https://www.policygenius.com https://www.hellofresh.com/skepticrat65 Another amazing word of the day idea from Susie Dent: https://twitte

On this week's episode: Joe Biden murders Thomas the Tank Engine with his BARE HANDS ... We learn that the sentence for voter fraud in Ohio is basically noogies ... And Alex Jones plays host to a nazi-themed episode of The Masked Singer. To support our show on Patreon, go here: https://www.patreon.com/skepticrat To hear more from Evil Giraffes on Mars, go here: https://www.facebook.com/EvilGiraffesOnMars Get great deals while supporting the show by checking out our sponsors: https://www.betterhelp.com/skepticrat https://www.policygenius.com https://www.hellofresh.com/skepticrat65 Another amazing word of the day idea from Susie Dent: <a href="https://twitter.com/susie_de

On this week's episode: Elon makes us long for the humble brilliance of Krang ... The World Cup gets so immoral even NFL fans will get uneasy ... And Herschel Walker has some important information that could affect your vampire weekend. To support our show on Patreon, go here: https://www.patreon.com/skepticrat To hear more from Evil Giraffes on Mars, go here: https://www.facebook.com/EvilGiraffesOnMars Get great deals while supporting the show by checking out our sponsors: https://www.betterhelp.com/skepticrat https://www.policygenius.com https://www.hellofresh.com/skepticrat65 Another amazing word of the day idea from Susie Dent: <a href="https://twitter.com/susie_de

On this week's episode: Lulu la doing democracy stuff ... Elon Musk literally borrows our oddly charming "giving away a free thing" business model ... And Andrew Torrez has some helpful tips on how to set up your panic room on Tuesday night. To support our show on Patreon, go here: https://www.patreon.com/skepticrat To hear more from Evil Giraffes on Mars, go here: https://www.facebook.com/EvilGiraffesOnMars Get great deals while supporting the show by checking out our sponsors: https://www.betterhelp.com/skepticrat https://www.policygenius.com https://www.hellofresh.com/skepticrat65 Headline Sources: Brazil's Bolsonaro does not concede to Lula, but authorizes tran

On this week's episode: Tim Ryan is coming to save us ... Donald Trump will finally get some competition in the “hilariously inept, celebrity-owned, right-wing, bigot-themed social media” space ... And Liz Truss gets out after 6 weeks, just in time to satisfy the heartbeat rule. To support our show on Patreon, go here: https://www.patreon.com/skepticrat To hear more from Evil Giraffes on Mars, go here: https://www.facebook.com/EvilGiraffesOnMars Get great deals while supporting the show by checking out our sponsors: https://www.betterhelp.com/skepticrat https://www.hellofresh.com/skepticrat65 https://www.policygenius.com Headline Sources: Liz Truss is gone after th

On this week's episode: Far leftist and marijuana crusader Joe Biden? ... Herschel Walker will make it most of the way through this intro without a new scandal breaking ... Annnd he just said "I'm DB Cooper." To support our show on Patreon, go here: https://www.patreon.com/skepticrat To hear more from Evil Giraffes on Mars, go here: https://www.facebook.com/EvilGiraffesOnMars Get great deals while supporting the show by checking out our sponsors: https://www.hellofresh.com/skepticrat65 https://www.betterhelp.com/skepticrat https://www.policygenius.com Headline Sources: Russo-Ukraine war inches ever closer to possible nuclear conflict: <a href="https://www.aljazeera

On this week's episode: We'll get cheeky about a chess cheater's choices ... Mike Lindell will get something in the drive thru that’s unpleasant even by Hardee’s standards ... And Donald Trump declassifies nuclear secrets while drinking a glass of water. To support our show on Patreon, go here: https://www.patreon.com/skepticrat To hear more from Evil Giraffes on Mars, go here: https://www.facebook.com/EvilGiraffesOnMars Get great deals while supporting the show by checking out our sponsors: https://www.greenchef.com/skepticrat135 https://www.policygenius.com https://www.betterhelp.com/skepticrat Headline Sources: Mike Lindell sues FBI for taking his phone at a Har

On this week's episode, tranphobic trolls lose their safe space, Trump loses at losing again, and the UK reveals its one-in, one-out policy on Lizzes. To support our show on Patreon, go here: https://www.patreon.com/skepticrat To hear more from Evil Giraffes on Mars, go here: https://www.facebook.com/EvilGiraffesOnMars Get great deals while supporting the show by checking out our sponsors: https://www.betterhelp.com/skepticrat https://www.policygenius.com To check out our sister show, The Scathing Atheist, click here: https://audioboom.com/channel/scathing-atheist To check out our sister show’s hot friend, God Awful Movies, click here: <a href="https://audioboom.com/

On this week's episode we’ll finally have a story about mysterious bones in someone’s yard that doesn’t involve Catholic schools, Donald Trump is deeply confused about how the FBI can just "HAVE a David", and we’ll talk about later cheese of the green variety. To support our show on Patreon, go here: https://www.patreon.com/skepticrat To hear more from Evil Giraffes on Mars, go here: https://www.facebook.com/EvilGiraffesOnMars Get great deals while supporting the show by checking out our sponsors: https://www.policygenius.com https://www.betterhelp.com/skepticrat To check out our sister show, The Scathing Atheist, click here: https://audioboom.com/channel/scathing-a

On this week's episode: Heath gets robot spider nightmares ... We look at the only kind of honour that Boris Johnson is familiar with ... AND HEATH GETS ZOMBIE ROBOT SPIDER NIGHTMARES! To support our show on Patreon, go here: https://www.patreon.com/skepticrat To hear more from Evil Giraffes on Mars, go here: https://www.facebook.com/EvilGiraffesOnMars Get great deals while supporting the show by checking out our sponsors: https://www.greenchef.com/skepticrat135 https://www.policygenius.com https://www.betterhelp.com/skepticrat Headline Sources: Trump gets raided by the FBI and the GOP has a meltdown: <a href="https://www.nytimes.com/live/2022/08/08/us/trump-fbi-ra

On this week's episode: Noah will undo both of his stories from the last episode ... Andrew will tell you that the guy some of you only reluctantly voted for - only after Marianne Williamson dropped out of the race - is FUNDING INTERNATIONAL ATHEISM and it’s 100% true ... And we learn about the greatest bird versus drunk guy fight since Peter Griffin and Ernie the Giant Chicken. To support our show on Patreon, go here: https://www.patreon.com/skepticrat To hear more from Evil Giraffes on Mars, go here: https://www.facebook.com/EvilGiraffesOnMars Get great deals while supporting the show by checking out our sponsors: https://www.policygenius.com https://www.betterhelp.com/skepticrat https

On this week’s episode, Marsh keeps us up to date on the death of the empire, we’ll check in on a Manchin more haunted than Luigi’s, and Eli won’t let Marsh leave America until he fully understands how Prime Ministers are chosen … so he’s pretty much a resident now. — To support the show on Patreon, click here: https://www.patreon.com/skepticrat To check out our sister show, The Scathing Atheist, click here: https://audioboom.com/channel/scathing-atheist To check out our sister show’s hot friend, God Awful Movies, click here: https://audioboom.com/channel/god-awful-movies To check out our half-sister show, Citation Needed, click here: http://citationpod.com/ To check out our sister show’s sister show, D and

On this week's episode: Rudy Giuliani hires Jussie Smollett as a very specific acting coach ... Florida will take all your “couldn’t be any stupider” jibes as a challenge ... And Donald Trump has a really fun limo ride with Tall Tyler and Sarah Huckabee Sanders. To support our show on Patreon, go here: https://www.patreon.com/skepticrat To hear more from Evil Giraffes on Mars, go here: https://www.facebook.com/EvilGiraffesOnMars Get great deals while supporting the show by checking out our sponsors: https://www.policygenius.com https://www.betterhelp.com/skepticrat https://www.greenchef.com/skepticrat10 Headline Sources: Fetal personhood is absurd: <a href="http

On this week's episode: The sane wing of Congress rejects the idea that insurrections become legal if they’re stupid enough ... Committed Dogecoin investors get trapped like the passenger of a flaming Tesla that locks itself from the inside ... And a Google AI does a better job mimicking human interaction than the guy who claims it’s sentient ever managed. To support our show on Patreon, go here: https://www.patreon.com/skepticrat To hear more from Evil Giraffes on Mars, go here: https://www.facebook.com/EvilGiraffesOnMars Get great deals while supporting the show by checking out our sponsors: https://www.policygenius.com https://www.betterhelp.com/skepticrat https://www.greenchef.com/ske

On this week's episode: Marjorie Taylor Greene gets stuck up a speech tree ... The UK will try parading on a reign for a change ... And we'll be speaking with a state representative who made headlines last week by shoving the hypocrisy of anti-choice Republicans right in their faces. To support our show on Patreon, go here: https://www.patreon.com/skepticrat To connect with Representative Mickey Dollens, go here: https://twitter.com/MickeyDollens https://www.facebook.com/MickeyDollensOK https://www.instagram.com/mickeydollens To hear more from Evil Giraffes on Mars, go here: https://www.facebook.com/EvilGiraffesOnMars Get great deals while supporting the show by chec

On this week's episode: Primary season makes us miss the time of locusts ... Noah makes a strong case that we should just outsource our voting stuff to Australia ... And against all odds, we learn that Donald Trump is even dumber than we thought. To support our show on Patreon, go here: https://www.patreon.com/skepticrat To hear more from Evil Giraffes on Mars, go here: https://www.facebook.com/EvilGiraffesOnMars Get great deals while supporting the show by checking out our sponsors: https://www.policygenius.com https://www.betterhelp.com/skepticrat https://www.greenchef.com/skepticrat10 Headline Sources: PA Primaries: <a href="https://www.washingtonpost.com/po

On this week's episode: New Jersey’s weed is as legal as it is expensive ... Madison Cawthorn’s existence continues to be the "free space" of political comedy ... And Twitter just got recalled for running a red light and killing a pedestrian. Also, we recorded this a week earlier than normal, and the news about Roe hadn't come out yet. We'll obviously be yelling about that next episode. But for now, enjoy the one podcast from this week that's not about real life Gilead. To support our show on Patreon, go here: https://www.patreon.com/skepticrat To hear more from Evil Giraffes on Mars, go here: https://www.facebook.com/EvilGiraffesOnMars Get great deals while supporting the show by checking out our sponsors: https://www.policygenius.com https:/

On this week's episode: A Trump appointee sends masks to jail for their crimes against humanity ... Tucker Carlson’s lie to his wife about it being suntan lotion he was slathering his balls with gets out of hand ... And InfoWars goes from morally bankrupt to the other one too. To support our show on Patreon, go here: https://www.patreon.com/skepticrat To hear more from Evil Giraffes on Mars, go here: https://www.facebook.com/EvilGiraffesOnMars Get great deals while supporting the show by checking out our sponsors: https://www.policygenius.com https://www.betterhelp.com/skepticrat https://www.greenchef.com/skepticrat10 Headline Sources: Florida judge strikes down nat

On this week's episode: Ketanji Brown Jackson is confirmed to the Supreme Court ... Donald Trump Jr all but texts “let’s criminally crime crimes” to Mark Meadows ... And being a Republican means arguing that Fig Newtons are moist and wonderful and better than Oreos. To support our show on Patreon, go here: https://www.patreon.com/skepticrat To hear more from Evil Giraffes on Mars, go here: https://www.facebook.com/EvilGiraffesOnMars Get great deals while supporting the show by checking out our sponsors: https://www.policygenius.com https://www.betterhelp.com/skepticrat https://www.greenchef.com/skepticrat10 Headline Sources: KBJ confirmed, Republicans walk out durin

On this week's episode: Vladimir Putin fights for a different kind of TERF ... A South Carolina man proves you can save someone from drowning on a technicality ... And Ted Cruz thinks he might be turning Japanese - he really thinks so. To support our show on Patreon, go here: https://www.patreon.com/skepticrat To hear more from Evil Giraffes on Mars, go here: https://www.facebook.com/EvilGiraffesOnMars Get great deals while supporting the show by checking out our sponsors: https://www.policygenius.com https://www.betterhelp.com/skepticrat https://www.greenchef.com/skepticrat10 Headline Sources: KBJ confirmation hearings: <a href="https://www.cbsnews.com/news/supreme

On this week's episode: The court system tells Fox News to go Tuck itself ... A lot of conservatives consider a truck convoy to protest high gas prices ... And Rudy Giuliani unzipped his face again so there's gonna be a flying spider attack. To support our show on Patreon, go here: https://www.patreon.com/skepticrat To hear more from Evil Giraffes on Mars, go here: https://www.facebook.com/EvilGiraffesOnMars Get great deals while supporting the show by checking out our sponsors: https://www.policygenius.com https://www.betterhelp.com/skepticrat https://www.greenchef.com/skepticrat10 Headline Sources: NY judge uses Tucker Carlson’s own words against Fox News: <a href

On this week’s episode: We’ll try to make the opening salvo of WWIII funny ... We’ll find out if Ketanji Brown Jackson has been boofing with Squee ... And Andrew Torrez will be here to see if Elon Musk can feel shame. To support our show on Patreon, go here: https://www.patreon.com/skepticrat To buy our book, click there: https://www.amazon.com/Outbreak-Crisis-Religion-Ruined-Pandemic/dp/B08L2HSVS8/ To check out our sister show, The Scathing Atheist, click here: https://audioboom.com/channel/scathing-atheist To check out our sister show’s hot friend, God Awful Movies, click here: https://audioboom.com/channel/god-awful-movies To check ou

On this week's episode: Tom and Cecil sit through most of our intro in quiet discomfort ... Marjorie Taylor Greene goes full Soup Nazi ... And we talk about a scam that Eli hasn’t fallen for yet. To support our show on Patreon, go here: https://www.patreon.com/skepticrat To hear more from Tom and Cecil on Cognitive Dissonance, go here: https://dissonancepod.com/ To hear more from Evil Giraffes on Mars, go here: https://www.facebook.com/EvilGiraffesOnMars Get great deals while supporting the show by checking out our sponsors: https://www.policygenius.com https://www.betterhelp.com/skepticrat https://www.greenchef.com/skepticrat10 <

On this week's episode: Joe Rogan fans didn’t want hearts of gold anyway ... We do the SCOTUS version of Monty Python’s “Bring Out Your Dead” scene ... And Fox News examines the best footwear for the chocolate you wanna fuck. To support our show on Patreon, go here: https://www.patreon.com/skepticrat To hear more from Evil Giraffes on Mars, go here: https://www.facebook.com/EvilGiraffesOnMars Get great deals while supporting the show by checking out our sponsors: https://www.policygenius.com https://www.betterhelp.com/skepticrat https://www.greenchef.com/skepticrat10 Headline Sources: Stephen Breyer is retiring: <a href="https://www.cnn.com/2022/01/26/politics/

On this week's episode: The Supreme Court doesn’t understand what a plague has to do with health or safety ... If you're an anti-vaxer, urine for a treat ... And Tom and Cecil will be here to make the improvising around the news stuff look easy.   To support our show on Patreon, go here: https://www.patreon.com/skepticrat To hear more from Tom and Cecil on Cognitive Dissonance, go here: https://dissonancepod.com/ To hear more from Evil Giraffes on Mars, go here: https://www.facebook.com/EvilGiraffesOnMars Get great deals while supporting the show by checking out our sponsors: https://www.policygenius.com https://www.betterhelp.com/skepticrat <a href="https://www.greenchef.com/skepticrat1

On this week's episode: Donald trump makes Candace Owens look stupid ... We get the best Jordanian fist fight since Creed ... And we learn that Skynet is playing the long game with mostly low-level pranks.   To support our show on Patreon, go here: https://www.patreon.com/skepticrat To hear more from Evil Giraffes on Mars, go here: https://www.facebook.com/EvilGiraffesOnMars Get great deals while supporting the show by checking out our sponsors: https://www.betterhelp.com/skepticrat https://www.greenchef.com/skepticrat10 https://www.policygenius.com Headline Sources: Candace Owens, Donald Trump, and Alex Jones have idiot fight: <a href="https://www.newswee

On this week's episode: Noah gives up a cool space story to talk about idiots irradiating themselves ... Eli gives up important political stories to talk about syrup ... And we celebrate the end of the year with a very special pocalypse-tacular.   To support our show on Patreon, go here: https://www.patreon.com/skepticrat To hear more from Evil Giraffes on Mars, go here: https://www.facebook.com/EvilGiraffesOnMars Get great deals while supporting the show by checking out our sponsors: https://www.betterhelp.com/skepticrat https://www.greenchef.com/skepticrat10 https://www.policygenius.com Headline Sources: CDC warns of omicron variant: <a href="https://www.washington

On this week's episode: The Supreme Court has a reply for the voters who sent a message in 2016 ... We’ll get far enough into the Greek alphabet to find Decepticons ... And we learn how a sentient swarm of tiny frogs could affect your holiday travel plans. To support our show on Patreon, go here: https://www.patreon.com/skepticrat To hear more from Evil Giraffes on Mars, go here: https://www.facebook.com/EvilGiraffesOnMars Get great deals while supporting the show by checking out our sponsors: https://www.policygenius.com https://www.betterhelp.com/skepticrat https://www.greenchef.com/skepticrat125 Headline Sources: SCOTUS seems ready to take apart Roe v Wade: <a h

On this week's episode: Murder continues to be legal in Wisconsin ... We’ll all overlook what a low bar “build back better” sets ... And the Republican Party gets triggered by muppets. To support our show on Patreon, go here: https://www.patreon.com/skepticrat To hear more from Evil Giraffes on Mars, go here: https://www.facebook.com/EvilGiraffesOnMars To donate to Modest Needs for our "Vulgarity for Charity" fundraiser, go here: ModestNeeds.org Get great deals while supporting the show by checking out our sponsors: https://www.greenchef.com/skepticrat125 https://www.policygenius.com https://www.mackweldon.com/skepticrat</

On this week's episode: Congress agrees to build a bridge as long as no Critical Race Theory drive across it ... Thanks to quarantine protocols, Aaron Rogers finally gets to be the smartest man in the room ... And Republican spies accidentally audition for a tragic farce by the Coen brothers. To support our show on Patreon, go here: https://www.patreon.com/skepticrat To hear more from Evil Giraffes on Mars, go here: https://www.facebook.com/EvilGiraffesOnMars To donate to Modest Needs for our "Vulgarity for Charity" fundraiser, go here: ModestNeeds.org Get great deals while supporting the show by checking out our sponsors: https://www.betterhelp.com/skepticrat https://www.policyg

On this week's episode: Donald Trump’s Twitter ends up a PornHub ... Heath will present his holiday buying guide ... And we have a very special segment about genital cage safety. To support our show on Patreon, go here: https://www.patreon.com/skepticrat To hear more from Evil Giraffes on Mars, go here: https://www.facebook.com/EvilGiraffesOnMars Get great deals while supporting the show by checking out our sponsors: https://www.betterhelp.com/skepticrat https://www.policygenius.com https://mackweldon.com/skepticrat Headline Sources: Trump attempts to launch his own Twitter with beer and hookers again: <a href="https://www.reuters.com/world/us/former-us-presiden

On this week's episode: A very different Amazon stops selling through Facebook ... Trump will work really hard not to use “I did too get illegal emoluments” in his defense ... And the US Army gets attacked by a ninja. To support our show on Patreon, go here: https://www.patreon.com/skepticrat To hear more from Evil Giraffes on Mars, go here: https://www.facebook.com/EvilGiraffesOnMars Get great deals while supporting the show by checking out our sponsors: https://www.betterhelp.com/skepticrat https://www.policygenius.com https://mackweldon.com/skepticrat Headline Sources: Ninja with sword assailed a US Army special ops unit and other random stories from Sep21: <a href="h

On this week's episode, Kanye West cries for help at 40 bucks a ticket, OnlyFans will relent and leave Heath’s back up career safe for now, and we’ll take a vacation so soak us in while you can. --- To support our show on Patreon, go here: https://www.patreon.com/skepticrat To hear more from Evil Giraffes on Mars, go here: https://www.facebook.com/EvilGiraffesOnMars Headline Sources: Afghanistan withdrawal is a homicidal disaster: https://www.washingtonpost.com/world/2021/08/28/taliban-takeover-kabul/Insurance is gonna start charging you to get COVID https://www.foxbusiness.com/lifestyle/insurance-provide

On this week's episode: Madison Cawthorne puts his foot in his mouth because what else is he gonna do with them ... Dumb people will switch to something easier to pronounce than hydroxychloroquine ... And Mike Lindell has a symposium about proof that is quadruple absolute. To support our show on Patreon, go here: https://www.patreon.com/skepticrat To hear more from Evil Giraffes on Mars, go here: https://www.facebook.com/EvilGiraffesOnMars Get great deals while supporting the show by checking out our sponsors: https://www.policygenius.com https://www.ipvanish.com/skepticrat https://www.betterhelp.com/skepticrat https://mackweldon.com/skepti

On this week's episode: Not enough people get Eli's Michigan J Frog joke ... We record early in case Noah's state drowns in its own stupidity before our normal day ... And we learn about the dumbest part of the dumbest wall in American history. To support our show on Patreon, go here: https://www.patreon.com/skepticrat To hear more from Evil Giraffes on Mars, go here: https://www.facebook.com/EvilGiraffesOnMars Get great deals while supporting the show by checking out our sponsors: https://www.bluechew.com https://www.betterhelp.com/skepticrat https://www.policygenius.com https://mackweldon.com/skepticrat Headline Sources: Jan. 6

On this week's episode: We watched CPAC so you don’t have to ... We did not watch CPAC and Eli’s a liar ... And Sidney Powell accidentally stars in a Christopher Guest mockumentary of herself in federal court. To support our show on Patreon, go here: https://www.patreon.com/skepticrat To hear more from Evil Giraffes on Mars, go here: https://www.facebook.com/EvilGiraffesOnMars Get great deals while supporting the show by checking out our sponsors: https://www.bluechew.com https://www.policygenius.com https://mackweldon.com/skepticrat https://www.betterhelp.com/skepticrat Headline Sources: Highlights from CPAC: <a href="https

On this week's episode: It turns out that Donald Trump's taxes matter to someone ... Canada will have to explain to Americans that 49 degrees is actually very hot ... And Heath’s not here because he ripped his penis off while masturbating again. To support our show on Patreon, go here: https://www.patreon.com/skepticrat To hear more from Evil Giraffes on Mars, go here: https://www.facebook.com/EvilGiraffesOnMars Get great deals while supporting the show by checking out our sponsors: https://www.bluechew.com https://www.policygenius.com https://mackweldon.com/skepticrat https://www.betterhelp.com/skepticrat Headline S

On this week's episode: Joe Biden declares a federal holiday that's a SECRET in 15 states ... We learn that shit really does slide down hill ... And robots will need a better role model than literally all of humanity. To support our show on Patreon, go here: https://www.patreon.com/skepticrat To hear more from Evil Giraffes on Mars, go here: https://www.facebook.com/EvilGiraffesOnMars Get great deals while supporting the show by checking out our sponsors: https://www.policygenius.com https://mackweldon.com/skepticrat https://www.ipvanish.com/skepticrat https://www.betterhelp.com/skepti

On this week's episode: Dallas will host the political suicide squad ... Andrew's unrequited crush on Liz Warren continues ... And we talk about Andrew's colleague as a member of the bar Sidney Powell. To support our show on Patreon, go here: https://www.patreon.com/skepticrat To hear more from Evil Giraffes on Mars, go here: https://www.facebook.com/EvilGiraffesOnMars Get great deals while supporting the show by checking out our sponsors: https://www.ipvanish.com/skepticrat https://www.betterhelp.com/skepticrat https://mackweldon.com/skepticrat Headline Sources: QAnon conference in Dallas: <a href="h

On this week's episode: New Jersey is top 8 in something and Eli is legally obligated to talk about it ... Georgia is in the bottom 8 of that same thing, because of fucking course it is ... And even if you have chiseled abs and stunning features, it doesn't mean that you too can't not die in a freak gasoline fight accident. To support our show on Patreon, go here: https://www.patreon.com/skepticrat To hear more from Evil Giraffes on Mars, go here: https://www.facebook.com/EvilGiraffesOnMars Get great deals while supporting the show by checking out our sponsors: https://www.policygenius.com https://mackweldon.com/skepticrat Headline Sources: GOP would like to know as little as p

On this week's episode: Arizona Republicans check for Chinese printed on the inside of their ballots ... China does another "bad guy from a comic book" looking thing ... And we need Bugs Bunny to cut off Florida with a saw now more than ever. To support our show on Patreon, go here: https://www.patreon.com/skepticrat To hear more from Evil Giraffes on Mars, go here: https://www.facebook.com/EvilGiraffesOnMars Get great deals while supporting the show by checking out our sponsors: https://www.betterhelp.com/skepticrat https://www.ipvanish.com/skepticrat/ https://mackweldon.com/skepticrat ht

On this week's episode: The United States once again whips out its johnson ... A Minnesota jury finds that black lives actually do matter ... And we learn that we can't afford NOT to buy some blockchain art. To support our show on Patreon, go here: https://www.patreon.com/skepticrat To hear more from Evil Giraffes on Mars, go here: https://www.facebook.com/EvilGiraffesOnMars Get great deals while supporting the show by checking out our sponsors: https://www.policygenius.com https://mackweldon.com/skepticrat https://www.keeps.com/skepticrat https://www.betterhelp.com/skepticrat <div

On this week's episode: Matt Gaetz is going to jail ... Amazon workers reject collectivism in favor of everybody having their own pee bottle ... And all of a sudden Mitch McConnell is a communist who hates freedom. To support our show on Patreon, go here: https://www.patreon.com/skepticrat To hear more from Evil Giraffes on Mars, go here: https://www.facebook.com/EvilGiraffesOnMars Get great deals while supporting the show by checking out our sponsors: https://www.keeps.com/skepticrat https://www.betterhelp.com/skepticrat Headline Sources: MLB pulls All-Star Game from Georgia: <a href="https://www.vox.com/2021/4/3/22365408/mlb-all-star-game-atlanta-explained-voter-s

On this week's episode: Jim Crow calls Georgia’s election bill a little blatant ... The Suez canal does its impression of Alex Jones’ colon ... And the American South uses Google to learn about hammer technology. To support our show on Patreon, go here: https://www.patreon.com/skepticrat To hear more from Evil Giraffes on Mars, go here: https://www.facebook.com/EvilGiraffesOnMars Get great deals while supporting the show by checking out our sponsors: https://www.ipvanish.com/skepticrat https://www.policygenius.com Headline Sources: Georgia decides not to do Black people votes anymore: <a href="https://www.ajc.com/politics/bill-changing-georgia-voting-rules-passes-state-ho

On this week's episode: The entire marketing department of Burger King comes down with type one diabetes ... Mike Lindell runs out of websites to get kicked off of so he starts making his own ... And beware the ides if you're a fascist who deserves to get stabbed. To support our show on Patreon, go here: https://www.patreon.com/skepticrat To hear more from Evil Giraffes on Mars, go here: https://www.facebook.com/EvilGiraffesOnMars Get great deals while supporting the show by checking out our sponsors: https://www.betterhelp.com/skepticrat https://www.keeps.com/skepticrat Headline Sources: Meghan and Harry talk to Oprah: <a href="https://www.thedailybeast.com/conserv

On this week's episode: This year’s CPAC machine is anything but a snore ... Biden makes it more than 30 days without bombing a brown person to death ... And Ted Cruz lives out the tragic farce of a 5-year-old getting caught in a lie, at age 50. To support our show on Patreon, go here: https://www.patreon.com/skepticrat To hear more from Evil Giraffes on Mars, go here: https://www.facebook.com/EvilGiraffesOnMars Get great deals while supporting the show by checking out our sponsors: https://www.ipvanish.com/skepticrat https://www.policygenius.com Headline Sources: Line up at CPAC is a GAM-tacular: <a href="https://www.vice.com/amp/en/article/z3v9be/a-japanese-cult-that-be

On this week's episode: Sarah Huckabee Sanders is running for governor ... We learn that Disney Plus has higher ethical standards than the US Senate ... And it's gonna be more like a trot or MAYBE a light canter for governor. To support our show on Patreon, go here: https://www.patreon.com/skepticrat To hear more from Evil Giraffes on Mars, go here: https://www.facebook.com/EvilGiraffesOnMars Get great deals while supporting the show by checking out our sponsors: https://www.keeps.com/skepticrat https://www.betterhelp.com/skepticrat Headline Sources: Impeachment trial ends with Trump being guilty and acquitted: <a href="https://www.nytimes.com/2021/02/12/us/politics

On this week’s episode: Republicans make Joe Biden an offer he can absolutely refuse ... We’ll tell you what we’re gonna do with our space laser timeshare ... And we’ll impeach Donald Trump again, because impeachin’ makes us feel good. To support our show on Patreon, go here: https://www.patreon.com/skepticrat To buy our book, click there: https://www.amazon.com/Outbreak-Crisis-Religion-Ruined-Pandemic/dp/B08L2HSVS8/ To check out our sister show, The Scathing Atheist, click here: https://audioboom.com/channel/the-scathing-atheist To check out our sister show’s hot friend, God Awful Movies, click here: https://audioboom.com/chann

On this week's episode: We’ll say our goodbyes to Trump and Tall Tyler ... The three of us will stage as effective a coup as the one Trump’s supporters managed ... And Donald Trump is literally pouting in his room with his phone privileges taken away. To support our show on Patreon, go here: https://www.patreon.com/skepticrat To hear more from Evil Giraffes on Mars, go here: https://www.facebook.com/EvilGiraffesOnMars Get great deals while supporting the show by checking out our sponsors: https://www.betterhelp.com/skepticrat Headline Sources: Highlights from the literal coup attempt: https://www.loremipsum.com/neonazisedition/fuckyourface <

On this week's episode: House Republicans try to put an end to this silly democracy thing once and for all ... “HAVE YOU SEEN ME” pics of the Pfizer vaccine are showing up on the side of milk cartons ... And we play you the slideshow of our trip to 2020. To support our show on Patreon, go here: https://www.patreon.com/skepticrat To hear more from Evil Giraffes on Mars, go here: https://www.facebook.com/EvilGiraffesOnMars Get great deals while supporting the show by checking out our sponsors: https://www.policygenius.com/ https://www.betterhelp.com/skepticrat Headline Sources: Senate overrides Trump’s veto on Defense bill: <a href="https://www.nytimes.com/2021/01/01/u

On this week's episode: Trump gives a whole new meaning to “pardon me” ... The Netherlands urges him to at least turn on one factor authentication ... And oatmeal raisin is the Fredo Corleone of cookies. To support the Black Lives Matter Global Network, go here: https://blacklivesmatter.com/ To support our show on Patreon, go here: https://www.patreon.com/skepticrat To hear more from Evil Giraffes on Mars, go here: https://www.facebook.com/EvilGiraffesOnMars/?fref=ts Get great deals while supporting the show by checking out our sponsors: https://www.policygenius.com/ https://www.betterhelp.com/skepticrat <a href="h

On this week's episode: If only two people are alive they technically have herd immunity ... The CDC will finally get around to this pandemic thing ... And Rudy Giuliani farts like Heath in middle school making a fake fart noise. To support the Black Lives Matter Global Network, go here: https://blacklivesmatter.com/ To support our show on Patreon, go here: https://www.patreon.com/skepticrat To hear more from Evil Giraffes on Mars, go here: https://www.facebook.com/EvilGiraffesOnMars/?fref=ts Get great deals while supporting the show by checking out our sponsors: https://www.thegreatcoursesplus.com/skepticrat http

On this week's episode: Donald Trump just can't get enough LOSING ... Rudy Giuliani is left on the dashboard too long ... And Heath is quitting Facebook and starting his own site called Palaver. To support the Black Lives Matter Global Network, go here: https://blacklivesmatter.com/ To support our show on Patreon, go here: https://www.patreon.com/skepticrat To hear more from Evil Giraffes on Mars, go here: https://www.facebook.com/EvilGiraffesOnMars/?fref=ts Get great deals while supporting the show by checking out our sponsors: https://www.betterhelp.com/skepticrat https://www.thegreatcoursesplus.co

On this week's episode: We’ll do the ugly gloating your other podcasts wish they could ... Eli’s state becomes as awesome as Montana ... And Heath will look for the right doctor after his election lasted WAY MORE than four hours. To support the Black Lives Matter Global Network, go here: https://blacklivesmatter.com/ To support our show on Patreon, go here: https://www.patreon.com/skepticrat To hear more from Evil Giraffes on Mars, go here: https://www.facebook.com/EvilGiraffesOnMars/?fref=ts Get great deals while supporting the show by checking out our sponsors: https://www.thegreatcoursesplus.com/skepticrat <a href="https://www.policygenius.com/

On this week's episode: America’s got more cases than a Law and Order box set ... Donald Trump will remind us he’s at his best when he’s unwatchable ... And FUCKING VOTE! To support the Black Lives Matter Global Network, go here: https://blacklivesmatter.com/ To support our show on Patreon, go here: https://www.patreon.com/skepticrat To hear more from Evil Giraffes on Mars, go here: https://www.facebook.com/EvilGiraffesOnMars/?fref=ts Get great deals while supporting the show by checking out our sponsors: https://www.thegreatcoursesplus.com/skepticrat https://www.getroman.com/skepticrat

On this week's episode: Bill Barr charges Joe Biden with not being his boss in the first degree ... Eli will try to be legally declared a fly now that he knows shitting in Mike Pence’s hair is one of the perks ... And Gretchen Whitmer almost gets kidnapped by nihilists but they were a little too exhausted. To support the Black Lives Matter Global Network, go here: https://blacklivesmatter.com/ To support our show on Patreon, go here: https://www.patreon.com/skepticrat To hear more from Evil Giraffes on Mars, go here: https://www.facebook.com/EvilGiraffesOnMars/?fref=ts Get great deals while supporting the show by checking out our sponsors: https://www.thegreatc

On this week's episode, we review the Biden-Trump debate(?) from last week in Cleveland. To support the Black Lives Matter Global Network, go here: https://blacklivesmatter.com/ To support our show on Patreon, go here: https://www.patreon.com/skepticrat To hear more from Evil Giraffes on Mars, go here: https://www.facebook.com/EvilGiraffesOnMars/?fref=ts

On this week's episode: Eli does an impression of someone not understanding science and Noah explains why that person is incredibly wrong ... We usher in the death of democracy with a chorus of fart noises ... And everyone should check out The Dictionary of Obscure Sorrows, where 'sonder' was neologized, just in case your collection of regular ubiquitous sorrows isn't cutting it. To support the Black Lives Matter Global Network, go here: https://blacklivesmatter.com/ To support our show on Patreon, go here: https://www.patreon.com/skepticrat To hear more from Evil Giraffes on Mars, go here: https://www.facebook.com/EvilGiraffesOnMars/?fref=ts Get great deals while supporting the show by checking out our sponsors: <di

On this week's episode: We’ll try to to get the image of Sarah Huckabee Sanders's WAP into your head ... Donald Trump will lie about telling the truth about lying ... And we learn that Trump voters are tragically stupid rats on a literal sinking ship. To support the Black Lives Matter Global Network, go here: https://blacklivesmatter.com/ To support our show on Patreon, go here: https://www.patreon.com/skepticrat To hear more from Evil Giraffes on Mars, go here: https://www.facebook.com/EvilGiraffesOnMars/?fref=ts Get great deals while supporting the show by checking out our sponsors: https://www.thegreatcoursesplus.com/skepticrat <a href="https:/

This week, Andrew Torrez joins us to recap the Republican National Convention and all the federal crimes it entailed. --- To support our show on Patreon, go here: https://www.patreon.com/skepticrat To hear more from Evil Giraffes on Mars, go here: https://www.facebook.com/EvilGiraffesOnMars/?fref=ts To hear more from Andrew Torrez, go here: https://openargs.com/

On this week's episode: Eli sings a BRUTAL rendition of Karma Chameleon in a blind stab at a Kamala pun ... Kevin Costner’s 1997 disaster “The Postman” turns out to be shockingly prescient ... And Heath tries unsuccessfully to say "side" without a diphthong. To support the Black Lives Matter Global Network, go here: https://blacklivesmatter.com/ To support our show on Patreon, go here: https://www.patreon.com/skepticrat To hear more from Evil Giraffes on Mars, go here: https://www.facebook.com/EvilGiraffesOnMars/?fref=ts Get great deals while supporting the show by checking out our sponsors: https://www.thegreatcoursesplus.com/skepticrat <a href="https:

On this week's episode: Donald Trump will hold an election when he’s good and goddamn ready thank you ... Liberals make gun-nuts look like cowards by turning back a fascist government with leaf blowers ... And the Senate is worried that sending everyone a bootstrap is gonna make us lazy about bootstrapping a bootstrap. To support the Black Lives Matter Global Network, go here: https://blacklivesmatter.com/ To support our show on Patreon, go here: https://www.patreon.com/skepticrat To hear more from Evil Giraffes on Mars, go here: https://www.facebook.com/EvilGiraffesOnMars/?fref=ts Headline Sources: US Economy sees biggest GDP drop in recorded history: <a href="https://www.npr.org/sections/coronavirus-live-updates/2020/0

On this week's episode: Donald Trump sends Donald Trump dangerously off the rails ... The White House starts giving out COVID numbers in broad ranges like they did with the PPP data ... And Kim Kardashian lets her husband run for president to get him out of the house a little. To support the Black Lives Matter Global Network, go here: https://blacklivesmatter.com/ To support our show on Patreon, go here: https://www.patreon.com/skepticrat To hear more from Evil Giraffes on Mars, go here: https://www.facebook.com/EvilGiraffesOnMars/?fref=ts Headline Sources: Trump accidentally filibusters himself during press conference: https://www.nytime

On this week's episode: JK Rowling comes up with a worse idea than wizards shitting on the floor of Hogwarts ... "Not civil enough for Reddit" turns out to be a thing after all ... And geologists discover that Mount Rushmore slowly inched about 10 feet backwards somehow and started gazing in all different directions. To support the Black Lives Matter Global Network, go here: https://blacklivesmatter.com/ To support our show on Patreon, go here: https://www.patreon.com/skepticrat To hear more from Evil Giraffes on Mars, go here: https://www.facebook.com/EvilGiraffesOnMars/?fref=ts Headline Sources: White House pivots to a “Rub Some Dirt On It” message on COVID-19: <a href="https://www.nbcnews.com/politics/politics-news/we-need-

On this week's episode: Brad Parscale insists he was dropping pins all through that rally and nobody heard them ... The Trump administration tries to sue John Bolton into herding cats back into a bag ... And someone in the federal government will finally stand up to…nope, sorry, nevermind. To support the Black Lives Matter Global Network, go here: https://blacklivesmatter.com/ To help out some people who really need it, go here: https://www.modestneeds.org/ To support our show on Patreon, go here: https://www.patreon.com/skepticrat To hear more from Evil Giraffes on Mars, go here: https://www.facebook.com/EvilGiraffesOnMars/?fref=ts Headline Sources: Trump tries to block

On this week's episode: Trump will heroically overcome his bone spurs for a walk all the way across the plaza ... Disney World uses stormtroopers in riot gear to enforce crowd control because they're tone-deaf idiots ... And the Bezos-Musk kerfuffle gets one step closer to the giant mech battle we know it’s gonna end in. To support the Black Lives Matter Global Network, go here: https://blacklivesmatter.com/ To help support protesters, find places to donate to bail funds here: https://bailproject.org/ https://www.communityjusticeexchange.org/nbfn-directory https://www.bailoutnetwork.com/ To help out some people who really need it, go here: https://www.modestneeds.org/ <d

On this week's episode: We’ll cross “cannibal rat hordes” off our 2020 bingo card ... Andrew will make you nostalgic for one of the best uncredited guest musical appearances of all time ... And Donald Trump tries to bluff his way out of a losing hand in the game of disease poker. To support our show on Patreon, go here: https://www.patreon.com/skepticrat Check out more Andrew Torrez on Opening Arguments here: https://www.openargs.com/ To hear more from Evil Giraffes on Mars, go here: https://www.facebook.com/EvilGiraffesOnMars/?fref=ts To help out some people who really need it, go here: https://www.modestneeds.org/ Headline Sources: Trump says he’s taking hydroxychloroquine: <a h

On this week's episode: Michael Flynn walks free ... Ahmaud Arbery doesn’t ... And we'll discuss how literal murder hornets might affect your weekend. To support our show on Patreon, go here: https://www.patreon.com/skepticrat To hear more from Evil Giraffes on Mars, go here: https://www.facebook.com/EvilGiraffesOnMars/?fref=ts To help out some people who really need it, go here: https://www.modestneeds.org/ Headline Sources: Ahmaud Arbery story: https://www.washingtonpost.com/politics/2020/05/07/killing-ahmaud-arbery-draws-condemnation-calls-prosecution/ Storm builds around Barr over dropping of Flynn case: <a href="ht

On this week's episode: Georgia values bowling over voting ... When one billionaire criminal appoints another to administer a slush fund, somehow most of that money gets “lost” ... And Donald Trump gives a coronavirus briefing sponsored by ForHims. To support our show on Patreon, go here: https://www.patreon.com/skepticrat To hear more from Evil Giraffes on Mars, go here: https://www.facebook.com/EvilGiraffesOnMars/?fref=ts To help out some people who really need it, go here: https://www.modestneeds.org/ Headline Sources: Large public companies are looting relief funds for small business payroll: https://www.cnbc.com/2020/04/21/large-public-

On this week's episode: The Governor of Florida will find out you can get COVID-19 no matter WHAT beer you drink ... We’ll point out that frying the brains of 5G conspiracy theorists wouldn’t make a difference anyway ... And Fox News gets taken to court for felonious Fox Newsing. To support our show on Patreon, go here: https://www.patreon.com/skepticrat To hear more from Evil Giraffes on Mars, go here: https://www.facebook.com/EvilGiraffesOnMars/?fref=ts To help out some people who really need it, go here: https://www.modestneeds.org/ Headline Sources: Fox News murdered people with coronavirus lies and they're getting sued for the murdering: https:

On this week's episode: We’ll keep up with the Kardashians ... We find out that apparently being old is suddenly cool if you’re a Turkish sword ... And we learn about Sarah Huckabee Sanders using the family cob instead of the family cloth. To support our show on Patreon, go here: https://www.patreon.com/skepticrat To hear more from Evil Giraffes on Mars, go here: https://www.facebook.com/EvilGiraffesOnMars/?fref=ts Headline Sources: Two trillion dollar stimulus bill should level things off for a good six minutes: https://www.politico.com/news/2020/03/25/whats-in-stimulus-package-coronavirus-149282 5000-year-old sword is discovered by an archaeology student at a Venetian monastery: <a href="https://www.cn

On this week's episode: Coronavirus donates 50 thousand dollars to the Trump campaign ... Betsy Devos reminds us that she was a plague before it was cool ... And we learn that the relevant data is strongly suggesting BRWHHHH@#$%!!! And yes, I Heath am aware that I mixed up Rush Limbaugh and Newt Gingrich. I'm fine with it. Retroactive spite. To support our show on Patreon, go here: https://www.patreon.com/skepticrat To hear more from Evil Giraffes on Mars, go here: https://www.facebook.com/EvilGiraffesOnMars/?fref=ts Headline Sources: Trump wanted coronavirus numbers to stay low to help re-election: https://www.npr.org/2020/03/12/814881355/white-house-knew-coronavir

On this week's episode: Were all gonna die from that beer virus ... We’re all gonna deserve the ever loving hell out of it whether we do or not ... And we'll all learn an important lesson about ass-potatoes. To support our show on Patreon, go here: https://www.patreon.com/skepticrat To hear more from Evil Giraffes on Mars, go here: https://www.facebook.com/EvilGiraffesOnMars/?fref=ts Headline Sources: Joe Biden wins the South Carolina primary: https://www.npr.org/2020/02/29/810477647/biden-wins-south-carolina-primary-ap-projects Trump has no idea what a virus is and appoints Pence to be in charge of coronavirus response: <a href="https://www.nytimes.com/2020/02/26/us/politics/trump-coronavirus-cdc.html?

On this week's episode: We’ll take a sad, sorry look at the state of our union ... The Oscars will be a para...site for sore eyes ... And Andrew Torrez will be here to explain how he rigged the Iowa Caucuses. To support our show on Patreon, go here: https://www.patreon.com/skepticrat To hear more from Evil Giraffes on Mars, go here: https://www.facebook.com/EvilGiraffesOnMars/?fref=ts Headline Sources: State of the Union address is just so much lying: https://www.nytimes.com/live/2020/fact-check-state-of-the-union-02-04 Parasite Wins Best Picture: https://www.nytimes.com/2020/02/09/movies/parasite-movie-oscars-best-picture.html <

On this week's episode: Our nation unites for our quadrennial caring about Iowa ... Everyone on Fifth Avenue without a bulletproof vest should be nervous as fuck ... And Michael Marshall will join us for a Brexit interview. To support our show on Patreon, go here: https://www.patreon.com/skepticrat To hear more from Evil Giraffes on Mars, go here: https://www.facebook.com/EvilGiraffesOnMars/?fref=ts Headline Sources: Republicans refuse to know how guilty the man they’re exonerating is: https://www.nytimes.com/2020/01/31/us/politics/trump-impeachment-trial.html and https://www.cnn.com/2020/01/31/politics/marco-rubio-donald

On this week's episode: Trump will assemble evil lawyer Voltron ... MLK had a nightmare too; it was called 2016-2020 ... And the National Archive will celebrate 100 years of women’s suffrage by literally erasing their voices from the historical record. To support our show on Patreon, go here: https://www.patreon.com/skepticrat To hear more from Evil Giraffes on Mars, go here: https://www.facebook.com/EvilGiraffesOnMars/?fref=ts Headline Sources: Trump's impeachment trial team is gross: https://www.nytimes.com/2020/01/17/us/politics/trump-impeachment-lawyers-starr-dershowitz.html?action=click&amp;module=Top%20Stories&amp;pgtype=Homepage</

On this week's episode: Donald Trump sees if killing a bunch of his supporters' kids raises his approval rating ... Chicago does its best to throw more smoke in the air than Australia ... And Nancy Pelosi is gonna count to three...One...TWO...TWO AND A HALF... To support our show on Patreon, go here: https://www.patreon.com/skepticrat To hear more from Evil Giraffes on Mars, go here: https://www.facebook.com/EvilGiraffesOnMars/?fref=ts Headline Sources: Trump stumbles into war with Iran: https://www.washingtonpost.com/politics/trump-plunges-toward-the-kind-of-middle-eastern-conflict-he-pledged-to-avoid/2020/01/03/ A

On this week's episode: The President keeps asking what his handcuff size is just in case ... A 17-year-old reenacts every flight Noah's ever taken on United ... And Donald Trump catches Nancy Pelosi red-handed doing both THIS and THAT. To support our show on Patreon, go here: https://www.patreon.com/skepticrat To hear more from Evil Giraffes on Mars, go here: https://www.facebook.com/EvilGiraffesOnMars/?fref=ts Headline Sources: We impeached the motherfucker but he's not going anywhere: https://www.nytimes.com/2019/12/19/us/politics/impeachment-trump-senate-trial.html?action=click&amp;module=Top%20Stories&amp;pgtype=Homepage <a href="https://ww

On this week's episode: We're joined by Eli's very best friend in the whole wide world ... That person's best friend won’t be able to make it ... And Donald Trump's presidency has officially entered the "failed flush, water line rising in the toilet" panic phase. To support our show on Patreon, go here: https://www.patreon.com/skepticrat To hear more from Evil Giraffes on Mars, go here: https://www.facebook.com/EvilGiraffesOnMars/?fref=ts Headline Sources: Scholars call Trump's actions on Ukraine an impeachable abuse of power: https://www.nytimes.com/2019/12/04/us/politics/trump-impeachment.html?action=click&amp;module=Top%20Stories&amp;pgtype=Homepage <d

On this week's episode: The Republican Party’s publishing house eats itself so it will get twice as big ... That genie will make Noah regret not specifying which racist, wall-building, corrupt world leader he wanted to see indicted ... And Rudy Giuliani secures funding for his Ukraine operation from a Nigerian prince. To support our show on Patreon, go here: https://www.patreon.com/skepticrat To support Modest Needs and Vulgarity for Charity, go here: https://www.modestneeds.org/index.asp To hear more from Evil Giraffes on Mars, go here: https://www.facebook.com/EvilGiraffesOnMars/?fref=ts Headline Sources: Impeachment update, Sondland testimony: <a href="https://www.washingtonpost.com/politics/2019/11/20/transcript-sondlands-nov-public-t

On this week's episode: We’ll celebrate our nation’s relative lack of bone spurs ... Matt Gaetz is removed from a congressional hearing, yells "YOU'RE NOT MY REAL DAD", and goes to his room ... And we’ll finally get that elderly white rich democratic candidate America’s been calling for. To support our show on Patreon, go here: https://www.patreon.com/skepticrat To hear more from Evil Giraffes on Mars, go here: https://www.facebook.com/EvilGiraffesOnMars/?fref=ts Headline Sources: Highlights from impeachment investigation and kicking out Matt Gaetz: https://www.politico.com/news/2019/11/08/adam-schiff-matt-gaetz-deposition-068041 <a href="https://www.nytimes.com/2019/11/09/us/politics/republican-strategy-impeachment-trump.ht

On this week's episode, Michael Marshall joins us to discuss all the various new ways to fail that Boris Johnson has discovered over the last couple of months. Check out Marsh's show, Be Reasonable. Check out Marsh's other show, Skeptics with a K Give us money on Patreon To check out our sister show, The Scathing Atheist, click here: https://audioboom.com/channel/scathing-atheist To check out our sister show’s hot friend, God Awful Movies, click here: https://audioboom.com/channel/god-awful-movies To check out out half-sister show, Citation Needed, click here: http://c

On this week's episode: Heath pits Eli against Andrew in what many are calling the fairest debate ever ... The far right proves that Liz Warren has the stamina we need to be our next President ... And the White House consults with Dr. Evil and Serpentor about homeland security. To support our show on Patreon, go here: https://www.patreon.com/skepticrat To hear more from Evil Giraffes on Mars, go here: https://www.facebook.com/EvilGiraffesOnMars/?fref=ts Headline Sources: Trump wanted to reinforce his border wall with a trench of snakes and alligators: https://www.nytimes.com/2019/10/01/us/politics/trump-border-wars.html Text of the surprise witness’s letter: <a href="https://www.wonkette.com/wingnut-grifters-

On this week's episode: Everyone gets super into peaches ... Noah finds out that he learned what 'prorogue' means for nothing ... And a VERY LITERAL explosion of semen. To support our show on Patreon, go here: https://www.patreon.com/skepticrat To hear more from Evil Giraffes on Mars, go here: https://www.facebook.com/EvilGiraffesOnMars/?fref=ts Headline Sources: Ukraine whistle blower: www.any-headlineproduced_in_thelast-96.hours Senate votes to kill national emergency declaration along southern border: https://www.cbsnews.com/news/senate-votes-to-kill-national-emergency-declaration-along-southern-border/

On this week's episode: Andrew Yang will give you 50 bucks right the fuck now ... We’ll round up the urinal suspects ... And if you tape Sharpies to your fingers, that counts as having very big hands. To support our show on Patreon, go here: https://www.patreon.com/skepticrat To hear more from Evil Giraffes on Mars, go here: https://www.facebook.com/EvilGiraffesOnMars/?fref=ts Headline Sources: Highlights from the primary debate: https://www.nytimes.com/2019/09/12/us/politics/democratic-presidential-debate-recap.html?action=click&amp;module=Top%20Stories&amp;pgtype=Homepage Tasteless asshole whose family member died on 9/11 uses it as a chance to take

On this week's episode, Michael Marshall joins us to discuss the impending collapse of society on his side of the Atlantic to distract you from the impending collapse of society on our side. Check out Marsh's show, Be Reasonable. Check out Marsh's other show, Skeptics with a K Give us money on Patreon To check out our sister show, The Scathing Atheist, click here: https://audioboom.com/channel/scathing-atheist To check out our sister show’s hot friend, God Awful Movies, click here: https://audioboom.com/channel/god-awful-movies To check out out half-sister show, Citation Needed, click here: <a href="ht

On this week's episode: We’ll pumpkin spice it up ... Chicken Little and Casandra experience a brief synergy ... And Donald Trump is about to learn the hard way that Greenland is 1/14th the size of Africa. To support our show on Patreon, go here: https://www.patreon.com/skepticrat To hear more from Evil Giraffes on Mars, go here: https://www.facebook.com/EvilGiraffesOnMars/?fref=ts Headline Sources: The Trump Administration Literally has no Plan for Recession: https://www.washingtonpost.com/politics/trump-banking-on-strong-economy-to-win-reelection-frets-over-a-possible-downturn/2019/08/15/04a85352-bf67-11e9-b873-63ace636af08_story.

On this week's episode: England tries a Comedia del Arte approach to their prime ministry ... America sticks with slapstick ... And Jeffrey Epstein went to NYU. To support our show on Patreon, go here: https://www.patreon.com/skepticrat To hear more from Evil Giraffes on Mars, go here: https://www.facebook.com/EvilGiraffesOnMars/?fref=ts Headline Sources: Boris Johnson becomes the new Prime Minister of the UK: https://www.bbc.com/news/uk-politics-49084605 https://www.bbc.com/news/uk-politics-48379730 Lil Nas X's 'Old Town Road' Breaks Record With 17th Week Atop Billboard Hot 100: <a href="https://www.billboard.com/articles/columns/chart-beat/8524235/lil-nas-x-old-town-road-longest-number-one-

On this week's episode: We give Sarah Huckabee Sanders the send off ... Opioid manufacturers will admit that their “all the cool kids are doing it” marketing campaign was ill advised ... And Kellyanne Conway tries to rank the races unironically on the White House lawn. To support our show on Patreon, go here: https://www.patreon.com/skepticrat To hear more from Evil Giraffes on Mars, go here: https://www.facebook.com/EvilGiraffesOnMars/?fref=ts Headline Sources: House holds Wilbur Ross and William Barr in contempt for withholding census question info: https://www.nytimes.com/2019/07/17/us/politics/barr-ross-contempt-vote.html?action=click&amp;module=Top%20Stories&amp;pgtype=Hom

On this week's episode: Andrew tells us where to put the beeps live and in person ... We learn it's pretty much just a full-episode beep over Eli ... And Donald Trump makes an executive order that you're allowed to make an executive order to overrule the Supreme Court. To support our show on Patreon, go here: https://www.patreon.com/skepticrat To hear more from Evil Giraffes on Mars, go here: https://www.facebook.com/EvilGiraffesOnMars/?fref=ts Headline Sources: Supreme Court rules that there are no rules about gerrymandering: https://www.nytimes.com/2019/06/27/us/politics/supreme-court-gerrymandering.html Department of Commerce v. New York <a href="https://www.supremecourt.gov/opinions/18pdf/18-

On this week's episode: Eli proclaims himself a hero ... Another Christian album burning is thwarted by Spotify not being flammable ... And Donald Trump celebrates Juneteenth by announcing his re-election campaign on one of the June teenths. To support our show on Patreon, go here: https://www.patreon.com/skepticrat To hear more from Evil Giraffes on Mars, go here: https://www.facebook.com/EvilGiraffesOnMars/?fref=ts Headline Sources: House of Representatives debates a bill to explore reparations: https://www.nytimes.com/2019/06/19/us/politics/slavery-reparations-hearing.html?action=click&amp;module=Top%20Stories&amp;pgtype=Homepage <a href="https://www.theroot.com/ta-n

On this week's episode: [Eli sarcasm voice] Heath will advocate for President Pete because it turns out they're both racist ... [Noah literal truth voice] Noah will cringe at the makeshift studio in our Air BnB ... [Heath angry that this is still even slightly controversial voice] And you should've voted for Hillary Clinton. To support our show on Patreon, go here: https://www.patreon.com/skepticrat To hear more from Evil Giraffes on Mars, go here: https://www.facebook.com/EvilGiraffesOnMars/?fref=ts

On this week's episode: The Supreme Court rules that declaring yourself king is PERFECTLY constitutional ... Fox News viewers everywhere wonder if agreeing with Mayor Pete made them gay ... And Ben Carson hears about REO Speedwagon right before his face explodes. To support our show on Patreon, go here: https://www.patreon.com/skepticrat To hear more from Evil Giraffes on Mars, go here: https://www.facebook.com/EvilGiraffesOnMars/?fref=ts Headline Sources: Trump tells Barr to declassify whatever makes him look not-guilty: https://www.washingtonpost.com

On this week's episode: Jacob Wohl runs into a wall he painted a tunnel onto … Eli’s ‘gross, poor person’ character will become official school policy in Rhode Island … And Donald Trump tries weirdly hard to hide a 450-page essay about how innocent he is. And yes, I'm aware it's actually Josiah "Jed" Bartlet. To support our show on Patreon, go here: https://www.patreon.com/skepticrat To hear more from Evil Giraffes on Mars, go here: https://www.facebook.com/EvilGiraffesOnMars/?fref=ts Headline Sources: A decade of Trump's tax records confirm he's bad at everything: https://www.nytimes.com/interactive/2019/05/07/us/politics/donald-trump-taxes.html?action=click&module=Top%20Stories&pgtype=Homepage Rhode Island lunch law co-opted by yogurt company charity:  https://www.cnn.com/2019/05/10/us/rhode-island-lunch-debts-warwick-chobani-trnd/index.html  Giuliani plans/cancels trip to Ukraine for dirt on Joe Biden’s son: https://www.washingtonpost.com/world/europe/trumps-interest-stirring

On this week's episode: Twitter finds out the Nazis were calling from inside the government ... Eli will misunderstand the assignment and think “Avengers came out” is a news story ... And Sophocles and Freud have NOTHING to do with Heath's adoration of Liz Warren.  To support our show on Patreon, go here: https://www.patreon.com/skepticrat  To hear more from Evil Giraffes on Mars, go here: https://www.facebook.com/EvilGiraffesOnMars/?fref=ts  Headline Sources: Trump seeks to keep everyone from testifying about everything: https://www.washingtonpost.com/politics/2019/04/24/how-trump-congress-subpoena-fight-is-likely-play-out/?utm_term=.ea751870f288 and https://www.washingtonpost.com/politics/white-house-approves-officials-testimony-after-contempt-threat/2019/04/27/ec8cbbea-68f5-11e9-83df-04f4d124151f_story.html?utm_term=.591656283fc9 Twitter can’t ban white supremacists because Steve King would get banned: https://motherboard.vice.com/en_us/article/a3xgq5/why-wont-twitter-treat-w

Disclaimer: Anything that sounded like a suggestion of genociding anti-vaxxers was 100% sarcastic regardless of how offensive that target group might be. On this week's episode: President Trump sure hopes nothing bad happens to Ilhan Omar ... New York will get constitutionally protected measles ... And Donald Trump holds interviews for the Acting Acting Acting Secretary of Homeland Security, just to be thorough. To support our show on Patreon, go here: https://www.patreon.com/skepticrat To hear more from Evil Giraffes on Mars, go here: https://www.facebook.com/EvilGiraffesOnMars/?fref=ts Headline Sources: Two more high-ranking officials leave the Trump administration: https://amp.cnn.com/cnn/2019/04/08/politics/randolph-tex-alles-secret-service-director/index.html https://www.washingtonpost.com/politics/homeland-security-secretary-kirstjen-nielsen-leaving-trump-administration-amid-surge-of-migrants/2019/04/07/97d20358-597d-11e9-b8e3-b03311fbbbfe_story.html?utm_term=.bd46c4b11976

On this week's episode: Alex Jones calls Alex Jones psychotic ... The GOP points to an apple surplus as evidence we no longer need affordable healthcare ... And we learn that unlike Congressman Mo Brooks, Hitler at least had the integrity to be honest about his "big lie" propaganda. To support our show on Patreon, go here: https://www.patreon.com/skepticrat  To hear more from Evil Giraffes on Mars, go here: https://www.facebook.com/EvilGiraffesOnMars/?fref=ts  Headline Sources: Mueller Report being teased like next Avengers Movie: https://www.bloomberg.com/news/articles/2019-03-29/barr-promises-congress-redacted-mueller-report-by-mid-april-jtugkss9 Alex Jones calls Alex Jones psychotic: https://www.cnn.com/2019/03/30/us/alex-jones-psychosis-sandy-hook/index.html Alabama congressman quotes Mein Kampf to describe Democrats: https://slate.com/news-and-politics/2019/03/mo-brooks-mein-kampf-quote-big-lie.html Trump administration decides American healthcare can go fuck itself: https:

On this week's episode: Donald Trump had no idea someone was gonna follow that recipe he kept tweeting out ... Mario Cuomo’s kid opens his primetime CNN show by telling us nepotism might be a problem in the US ... And Mitt Romney removes his birthday candles one at a time to blow em out like a serial killer. To support our show on Patreon, go here: https://www.patreon.com/skepticrat To hear more from Evil Giraffes on Mars, go here: https://www.facebook.com/EvilGiraffesOnMars/?fref=ts Headline Sources: Rich people cheating their kids into college: https://www.nytimes.com/2019/03/12/arts/huffman-loughlin-college-scandal.html?action=click&module=Top%20Stories&pgtype=Homepage https://www.nytimes.com/2019/03/12/us/college-admissions-cheating-scandal.html?action=click&module=Top%20Stories&pgtype=Homepage https://twitter.com/gokpkd/status/1105501340581744640  British House of Commons votes to delay Brexit: https://www.bbc.com/news/uk-politics-47576813 Trump fails to call out white supre

On this week's episode: We replaced Noah with our other smart guy ... We manage to do half as many headlines but take twice as long now that I’m here ... And we learn that Spike Lee can't read, which is why he knows nothing about the abolition of civil rights. To support our show on Patreon, go here: https://www.patreon.com/skepticrat To hear more from Evil Giraffes on Mars, go here: https://www.facebook.com/EvilGiraffesOnMars/?fref=ts  Headline Sources: Mark Harris will not be running the new election for NC's ninth district: https://www.nytimes.com/2019/02/26/us/mark-harris-north-carolina-election.html https://www.nytimes.com/2019/02/21/us/mark-harris-nc-voter-fraud.html?module=inline Michael Cohen describes giant pattern of Trump lies at hearing: https://www.nytimes.com/2019/02/27/us/politics/michael-cohen-trump.html Baby cheesing is a real thing that people are doing: https://nypost.com/2019/03/01/why-people-are-throwing-cheese-at-babies/?utm_source=NYPTwitter&utm_medium=Soci

On this week's episode: The green new deal is both of those things ... Eli will lose an old friend ... And Virginia abolishes abolition during the intro. And now they're all doing soft shoe. To support our show on Patreon, go here: https://www.patreon.com/skepticrat  To hear more from Evil Giraffes on Mars, go here: https://www.facebook.com/EvilGiraffesOnMars/?fref=ts Headline Sources: Green New Deal resolution gets officially submitted: https://www.washingtonpost.com/politics/2019/02/11/whats-actually-green-new-deal-democrats/?utm_term=.b149e2fde390 https://ocasio-cortez.house.gov/sites/ocasio-cortez.house.gov/files/Resolution%20on%20a%20Green%20New%20Deal.pdf Trump declares national emergency to build wall: https://www.washingtonpost.com/politics/trumps-border-emergency-the-president-plans-a-10-am-announcement-in-the-rose-garden/2019/02/15/f0310e62-3110-11e9-86ab-5d02109aeb01_story.html?utm_term=.56fe2bd78687 Mueller recommends 25 years for Paul Manafort: https://www.nytime

On this week's episode: The governor of Virginia calls blacksies ... Survivalists will seem nominally less crazy ... And we learn that Donald Trump's skin tone isn't from tanning; it's actually from his top-of-the-pyramid Oompa Loompa genes.  To support our show on Patreon, go here: https://www.patreon.com/skepticrat To hear more from Evil Giraffes on Mars, go here: https://www.facebook.com/EvilGiraffesOnMars/?fref=ts Headline Sources: Northam is a bigot with a time machine: https://www.washingtonpost.com/local/virginia-politics/northam-mum-about-his-plans-after-a-flood-of-calls-for-his-resignation-for-racist-and-offensive-photo/2019/02/02/5883402a-26e9-11e9-90cd-dedb0c92dc17_story.html?utm_term=.67ad3dc8a2a5 The Supreme Court isn’t getting rid of abortion...YET: https://www.cnn.com/2019/02/01/politics/louisiana-abortion-supreme-court/index.html Trump interview with the New York Times: https://www.nytimes.com/2019/01/31/us/politics/donald-trump-interview-takeaways.html?action=cli

On this week's episode: Eli will be deemed nonessential during the ongoing shutdown ... Donald Trump gets stuck with a truck full of watermelons after he's forced to change his catering plans last minute ... And all of you promise not to Eli this isn’t a federal job.   To support our show on Patreon, go here: https://www.patreon.com/skepticrat   To hear more from Evil Giraffes on Mars, go here: https://www.facebook.com/EvilGiraffesOnMars/?fref=ts   Headline Sources: Trump cancels Pelosi's flights for spite over SOTU remark as shutdown continues: https://www.bbc.com/news/world-us-canada-46911478 Buzzfeed: Trump directed Cohen to lie to congress about Trump Tower Moscow negotiations: https://www.buzzfeednews.com/article/jasonleopold/trump-russia-cohen-moscow-tower-mueller-investigation Steve King removed from committee assignments after latest white supremacy remark: https://www.nytimes.com/2019/01/14/us/politics/steve-king-white-supremacy.html?module=inline William Barr confirmat

On this week's episode: The future is female ... The Kuiper belt will continue to be bafflingly cutsie ... And Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez teams up with Kevin Bacon to legalize dancing at the federal level. To support our show on Patreon, go here: https://www.patreon.com/skepticrat  To hear more from Evil Giraffes on Mars, go here: https://www.facebook.com/EvilGiraffesOnMars/?fref=ts  Headline Sources: Pence and White House officials meet with congressional aides in effort to end shutdown: https://www.washingtonpost.com/politics/pence-and-white-house-officials-meet-with-congressional-aides-in-effort-to-end-shutdown/2019/01/05/7840bf4a-10fb-11e9-84fc-d58c33d6c8c7_story.html?utm_term=.e4f48db61f00 Conservatives panicky about "Impeach the motherfucker" and AOC dancing: https://www.washingtonpost.com/entertainment/theater_danc/alexandria-ocasio-cortezs-dance-video-is-goofy-joyful--and-absolutely-nothing-to-be-ashamed-of/2019/01/04/5f3add42-1046-11e9-92b8-6dd99e2d80e1_story.html?utm_term=

On this week's episode: We give Donald Trump the dickens ... Cancer’s family will express concern over its bout of Ruth Bader Ginsburg ... And the CEO of Google explains to Congress that you have to put the VCR _and_ the TV on channel 3. To support our show on Patreon, go here: https://www.patreon.com/skepticrat  To hear more from Evil Giraffes on Mars, go here: https://www.facebook.com/EvilGiraffesOnMars/?fref=ts  Headline Sources: Government shutdown because Trump doesn't get his wall funding: https://www.nytimes.com/2018/12/21/us/politics/trump-shutdown-border-wall.html?action=click&module=Spotlight&pgtype=Homepage Trump withdraws from Syria; Mattis fucks off: https://www.washingtonpost.com/world/national-security/a-tumultuous-week-began-with-a-phone-call-between-trump-and-the-turkish-president/2018/12/21/ Google CEO tries to explain internets to old people: https://www.washingtonpost.com/politics/2018/12/11/congresswoman-google-ceo-why-when-i-search-idiot-do-i-get-pictures-tr

On this week's episode: We visit some of the great losers of history ... Wisconsin Republicans have a go at just making democrats illegal ... And PETA can go fuck itself a dead horse. To make a donation for the Vulgarity For Charity campaign, go here: https://www.modestneeds.org/index.asp To support our show on Patreon, go here: https://www.patreon.com/skepticrat To hear more from Evil Giraffes on Mars, go here: https://www.facebook.com/EvilGiraffesOnMars/?fref=ts Headline Sources: Democracy unravels in Wisconsin: https://madison.com/ct/news/local/govt-and-politics/what-happened-while-you-slept-a-guide-to-wisconsin-s/article_2b2bb8a3-9166-5ada-9a0a-be3e7deb4486.html Woman shocked that naming her kid Abcde results in mockery: https://www.washingtonpost.com/transportation/2018/11/29/little-girl-named-abcde-was-mocked-by-southwest-gate-agent-airline-has-apologized/?noredirect=on&utm_term=.df41481301bf GHWB funeral reminds us of how bad we fucked up in 2016: https://www.nytimes.com/

On this week's episode: Donald trump appoints a whipping boy just in case he gets convicted of treason ... We’ll examine a supply side solution to global warming ... And Heath tells California that their wildfire nomenclature should have an exception if the origin is called Camp, Dumpster, or Schoolbus. To make a donation for the Vulgarity For Charity campaign, go here: https://www.modestneeds.org/index.asp  To support our show on Patreon, go here: https://www.patreon.com/skepticrat  To hear more from Evil Giraffes on Mars, go here: https://www.facebook.com/EvilGiraffesOnMars/?fref=ts  Headline Sources: Congress again calling for protection of Mueller probe against potential Whitaker sabotage: https://thinkprogress.org/republicans-dont-think-mueller-needs-protection-b61a000cf484/ https://www.usatoday.com/story/news/politics/onpolitics/2018/11/18/trump-tweet-adam-schiff/2048756002/ https://www.nytimes.com/2018/11/20/us/politics/trump-mueller-questions-answers.html American preache

On this week's episode: Eli serves as the midterm’s Eeyore ... Noah assure everyone that it’s because Eli’s knowledge of politics is primarily derived from jerking off to The West Wing ... And Donald Trump calls a rain out on his speech because umbrellas are terrifying. To make a donation for the Vulgarity For Charity campaign, go here: https://www.modestneeds.org/index.asp To support our show on Patreon, go here: https://www.patreon.com/skepticrat  To hear more from Evil Giraffes on Mars, go here: https://www.facebook.com/EvilGiraffesOnMars/?fref=ts  Headline Sources: SHS tweets doctored video to make Jim Acosta look violent: https://www.cbsnews.com/news/jim-acosta-sarah-sanders-cnn-reporter-white-house-intern-video-doctored/ Trump sends antagonistic tweet about Macron right before meeting in France: https://www.cnn.com/2018/11/10/politics/donald-trump-emmanuel-macron/index.html Trump fires Sessions, replaces him with “MAGA Edition Chatty Cathy”: https://www.washingtonpost.co

On this week's episode: We all collectively created the MAGA bomber with our imaginations ... A Florida man will put the “Aiyee!” back in IED ... And Megyn Kelly considers blackface affirmative action to get rehired by NBC. To support our show on Patreon, go here: https://www.patreon.com/skepticrat To hear more from Evil Giraffes on Mars, go here: https://www.facebook.com/EvilGiraffesOnMars/?fref=ts Headline Sources: Turns out mail bombing campaign was not a false flag operation by Democrats: http://www.rightwingwatch.org/post/false-flag-conspiracies-fly-after-explosives-mailed-to-prominent-democrats/ Shooting at Pittsburgh synagogue: https://www.nytimes.com/2018/10/27/us/active-shooter-pittsburgh-synagogue-shooting.html Trump admits MBS might have been involved in Khashoggi killing: https://www.theguardian.com/world/2018/oct/23/jamal-khashoggi-trump-cover-up-sanctions-visas Megyn Kelly finds out that blackface is offensive: https://www.usnews.com/news/top-news/articles/2018-10-

On this week's episode: White House staff put Rod Rosenstein in a box with a geiger counter, a radioactive substance, and a flask of hydrocyanic acid … The US Senate is all about the advice, but not so much the consent … And Trump will kill it at the surprise self-roast he totally meant to do. To support our show on Patreon, go here: https://www.patreon.com/skepticrat To hear more from Evil Giraffes on Mars, go here: https://www.facebook.com/EvilGiraffesOnMars/?fref=ts Headline Sources: Kavanaugh hearing: https://www.washingtonpost.com/news/national/wp/2018/09/27/kavanaugh-hearing-transcript/?utm_term=.293ea9c78fa6 https://www.cnn.com/2018/09/28/politics/jeff-flake-moment-trump-kavanaugh/index.html Trump accuses China of interfering in our elections: https://www.nytimes.com/2018/09/26/world/asia/trump-china-election.html?rref=collection%2Fsectioncollection%2Fworld&action=click&contentCollection=world®ion=rank&module=package&version=highlights&contentPlacement=2&pgtype=sectionfront

On this week's episode: President Trump fills about 3000 graves with fake dudes ... We get to make fun of people who live in Eastern North Carolina with impunity ... And the American political spectrum looks like a train car with a crazy hobo named Donald in the middle. To support our show on Patreon, go here: https://www.patreon.com/skepticrat To hear more from Evil Giraffes on Mars, go here: https://www.facebook.com/EvilGiraffesOnMars/?fref=ts Headline Sources: Trump yelling TREASON after anonymous NYT op-ed: https://www.nytimes.com/2018/09/05/opinion/trump-white-house-anonymous-resistance.html Trump claims Puerto Ricans died just to make him look bad: https://www.npr.org/2018/09/13/647377915/trump-denies-death-toll-in-puerto-rico-falsely-claims-done-by-the-democrats Hurricane Florence pummels the Carolinas: https://www.cnn.com/us/live-news/hurricane-florence-dle/index.html Manafort pleads guilty to all the crimes we have a name for: https://www.politico.com/stor

In this week’s episode, we learn that life without Heath is a lot less “pun”, Missouri puts the term ‘beat your meat’ in legal limbo if you don’t plan on eating your penis, the Mayor of London will get totally PWNED, and John McCain will show Trump what to do if he’s serious about making America great again. --- To make a per episode donation at Patreon.com, click here: https://www.patreon.com/skepticrat To buy our book, click there: http://www.amazon.com/Diatribes-Godless-Misanthrope-Scathing-Presents-ebook/dp/B00J53FZFI/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1396141562&sr=8-1 To check out our sister show, The Skepticrat, click here: https://audioboom.com/channel/the-skepticrat To check out our sister show’s hot friend, God Awful Movies, click here: https://audioboom.com/channel/god-awful-movies To check out out half-sister show, Citation Needed, click here: http://citationpod.com/ --- Headlines: New Wapo/ABC poll shows 60% disapproval rating: https://www.washingtonpost.com/page/2010-2019/Wa

On this week's episode: The President yelling the N-word doesn't even make the back page ... The EPA will put the 'best' back in asbestos ... And that means Crayola can finally release their new childhood carcinoma shade. To support our show on Patreon, go here: https://www.patreon.com/skepticrat To hear more from Evil Giraffes on Mars, go here: https://www.facebook.com/EvilGiraffesOnMars/?fref=ts Headline Sources: Trump revokes Brennan’s security clearance: https://www.washingtonpost.com/politics/former-intelligence-officials-bite-back-after-trump-goes-after-brennans-clearance/2018/08/18/91efe7a0-a255-11e8-8e87-c869fe70a721 https://www.washingtonpost.com/opinions/revoke-my-security-clearance-too-mr-president/2018/08/16/8b149b02-a178-11e8-93e3-24d1703d2a7a_story.html?utm_term=.c254e6c13af0 Saudis use US weapons to blow up kids in Yemen: https://www.cnn.com/2018/08/17/middleeast/us-saudi-yemen-bus-strike-intl/index.html Asbestos finally getting fair treatment by the EPA: https://w

On this week's episode: We win millions by asking Donald Trump what the lottery numbers WON'T be … Winnie the Pooh will be detained by communists … And we LOSE millions by asking ELI what the best STOCKS won't be. To support our show on Patreon, go here: https://www.patreon.com/skepticrat To hear more from Evil Giraffes on Mars, go here: https://www.facebook.com/EvilGiraffesOnMars/?fref=ts Headline Sources: Trump says impressive list of stupid things this week even for him: https://www.cnn.com/2018/08/02/politics/mueller-investigation-jeff-sessions-tweet/index.html https://www.cnn.com/2018/08/02/politics/donald-trump-shutdown/index.html https://www.cnn.com/2018/08/01/opinions/trump-has-no-earthly-clue-about-how-everyday-people-live-psaki/index.html Update on Week One of Manafort Trial: http://thehill.com/regulation/court-battles/400327-five-things-to-know-about-manaforts-first-week-in-court Eli got in another Facebook fight and immediately wrote a headline while typing all loud:

On this week's episode: Trump wouldn't even commit treason ... We lament all the Disney movies we'll never direct ... And Russia has to wean the US off its breast milk tariff idea. To support our show on Patreon, go here: https://www.patreon.com/skepticrat To hear more from Evil Giraffes on Mars, go here: https://www.facebook.com/EvilGiraffesOnMars/?fref=ts  Headline Sources: Fallout from Trump/Putin summit: https://www.vox.com/2018/7/16/17576956/transcript-putin-trump-russia-helsinki-press-conference Disney Fires James Gunn: https://www.cnn.com/2018/07/20/entertainment/james-gunn-exits-guardians-of-the-galaxy-3/index.html Trump whines about NFL National Anthem kneelers: https://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/donald-trump-flag-kneeling-tweet_us_5b526248e4b0fd5c73c56f20 Maria Butina arrested: https://www.theguardian.com/us-news/2018/jul/16/maria-butina-charged-spying-russia-us-doj <> https://www.cnn.com/2018/07/20/politics/mueller-manhattan-madam/index.html Eli wastes a headline

In this week's episode, Andrew Torrez of the Opening Arguments Podcast joins Noah to tell you about all the stuff you wish you didn't need to know about the future of the Supreme Court. To support our show on Patreon, go here: https://www.patreon.com/skepticrat To hear more from Evil Giraffes on Mars, go here: https://www.facebook.com/EvilGiraffesOnMars/?fref=ts To check out the Opening Arguments podcast, go here: https://openargs.com/

On this week's episode: Despite all our rage they still put a kid in a cage ... Sarah Huckabee Sanders is forced to forage for bones as she did on her home world ... And Donald Trump tells the Pentagon to hire Buzz Lightyear for a big new project. To support our show on Patreon, go here: https://www.patreon.com/skepticrat To hear more from Evil Giraffes on Mars, go here: https://www.facebook.com/EvilGiraffesOnMars/?fref=ts Headline Sources: Trying to find the right amount of kids in cages: http://www.philly.com/philly/news/politics/factcheck-qa-on-border-detention-of-children-20180619.html US withdraws from UN Human Rights Council: https://www.bbc.com/news/44537372  The World Cup is happening: https://www.washingtonpost.com/news/made-by-history/wp/2018/06/14/the-world-cup-starts-today-why-it-matters-as-much-for-politics-as-sports/?utm_term=.89b20b457839 SHS gets denied service at VA restaurant: https://www.washingtonpost.com/news/local/wp/2018/06/23/why-a-small-town-restaurant-o

On this week's episode, Eli gets a chance to do the opening "It's Monday" (and totally nails it), Trump will pout when he learns that the G7 isn't a bingo night, and your mom should've thought about insurance before she decided to have diabetes. --- Headline links:  Trump shits all over G7: https://www.washingtonpost.com/business/economy/trump-floats-end-to-all-tariffs-threatens-major-penalties-for-countries-that-dont-agree/2018/06/09/a06350be-6bf1-11e8-bea7-c8eb28bc52b1_story.html?utm_term=.e227de9964ac Ontario elects populist hack: https://www.reuters.com/article/us-canada-election-ontario/populist-doug-ford-set-to-win-ontario-polls-promises-prosperity-idUSKCN1J318K Puerto Rico’s government agrees to begrudgingly help figure out how many people the hurricane killed: http://www.wdtn.com/news/u-s-world/court-orders-puerto-rico-to-release-stormrelated-death-data/1219559305 Largest primary night of the year: https://www.cnn.com/2018/06/06/politics/california-primary-tak

On this week's episode: Donald Trump will be off again Un again ... Atheist cuisine in Ireland gets a lot more savory ... And we learn how a lack of fish condoms is destroying the environment. To support our show on Patreon, go here: https://www.patreon.com/skepticrat To hear more from Evil Giraffes on Mars, go here: https://www.facebook.com/EvilGiraffesOnMars/?fref=ts Headline Sources: Trump optimistic that his promise to cancel NK summit was insincere: https://www.washingtonpost.com/politics/trump-sounds-note-of-optimism-on-north-korea-claims-democrats-rooting-against-him/2018/05/25/e3c1767a-6001-11e8-9ee3-49d6d4814c4c Morgan Freeman gets multiple accusations of harassment and assautl: https://www.cnn.com/2018/05/24/entertainment/morgan-freeman-accusations/index.html GOP Congressman says sea levels are rising because of rocks falling into the water: http://www.patheos.com/blogs/friendlyatheist/2018/05/18/gop-rep-mo-brooks-sea-levels-are-rising-because-rocks-fall-into-the-ocean/

On this week's episode: All evil acts are seven degrees or less away from Michael Cohen ... We'll learn that real estate boom has a totally different meaning in Hawaii ... And American democracy theater is breaking the fourth wall again. To support our show on Patreon, go here: https://www.patreon.com/skepticrat To hear more from Evil Giraffes on Mars, go here: https://www.facebook.com/EvilGiraffesOnMars/?fref=ts Headline Sources: Cohen sold American policy to the highest bidders: https://www.cnn.com/2018/05/09/politics/michael-cohen-trump-lobbying/index.html https://www.cnn.com/2018/05/10/politics/rudy-giuliani-michael-cohen-trump/index.html White house Aide jokes about dying McCain: https://www.cnn.com/2018/05/10/politics/white-house-kelly-sadler-john-mccain/index.html Trump announces that we're pulling out of Iran nuclear deal: https://www.nytimes.com/2018/05/08/world/middleeast/trump-iran-nuclear-deal.html also http://foreignpolicy.com/2018/05/11/top-state-department-nuclear-

On this week's episode: We're Kim Jong-UN step closer to world peace ... Republicans on the House Intelligence Committee say "nu-uh" verbosely ... And Kanye West shows us exactly where the white guilt runs out. To support our show on Patreon, go here: https://www.patreon.com/skepticrat To hear more from Evil Giraffes on Mars, go here: https://www.facebook.com/EvilGiraffesOnMars/?fref=ts Headline Sources: Inter-Korean summit: https://www.theguardian.com/world/2018/apr/26/korean-summit-everything-you-need-to-know and https://www.cnn.com/2018/04/27/asia/read-full-declaration-north-south-korea/index.html Kanye West loving Trump and might run for POTUS in 2024: https://www.cnn.com/2018/04/25/politics/kanye-west-donald-trump-twitter/index.html Homeopath uses rabid dog saliva to treat 4-year-old with behavioral problems: https://www.washingtonpost.com/news/to-your-health/wp/2018/04/18/a-4-year-old-had-been-growling-at-preschool-so-this-naturopath-says-she-gave-him-rabid-dog-saliva/?utm_

On this week's episode: WAR! Are we sure it's good for anything? Because it feels like we're gonna have a lot ... John Bolton and a carpenter trick a bunch of clams ... And Mark Zuckerberg explains to the US Senate how to redeem their 50 free hours on AOL. ------ To support our show on Patreon, go here: https://www.patreon.com/skepticrat  ------ To hear more from Evil Giraffes on Mars, go here: https://www.facebook.com/EvilGiraffesOnMars/?fref=ts  ------ Headline Sources: FBI raids Michael Cohen's office: https://www.nytimes.com/2018/04/09/us/politics/fbi-raids-office-of-trumps-longtime-lawyer-michael-cohen.html US Coalition attacks syria over chemical weapons attack: https://www.nytimes.com/2018/04/13/world/middleeast/trump-strikes-syria-attack.html Zuckerberg questioned by Senate regarding Cambridge Analytica and data usage: http://www.latimes.com/business/technology/la-fi-tn-zuckerberg-testimony-20180410-story.html Paul Ryan sees writing on the wall: https://www.washingt

On this week's episode: High schoolers practice leaving school ALIVE for a change ... Noah will be sick of the term "Blue-nami" even before he hears anyone say it ... And the Senate decides to deregulate piggy banks up to $250 billion in holdings. To support our show on Patreon, go here: https://www.patreon.com/skepticrat To hear more from Evil Giraffes on Mars, go here: https://www.facebook.com/EvilGiraffesOnMars/?fref=ts Headline Sources: Senate votes to roll back Dodd-Frank regulations on all but the largest banks: http://www.bbc.com/news/business-43409985 Students hold walkout day in protest of weak-ass gun control: http://abcnews.go.com/US/students-country-world-part-national-school-walkout-today/story?id=53712013 Trump just making shit up during Trudeau meeting about trade balance with Canada: https://www.washingtonpost.com/world/the_americas/after-trumps-misleading-remarks-to-trudeau-canada-restates-the-facts/2018/03/15/c4ee54ee-286a-11e8-a227-fd2b009466bc_story.html? ht

On this week's episode: Vladimir is Putin on the Ritz ... It turns out that Chinese guy's name is NOT Eleven Jinping ... And we're pretty sure Smith & Wesson is about to end their relationship with the NRA. To support our show on Patreon, go here: https://www.patreon.com/skepticrat To hear more from Evil Giraffes on Mars, go here: https://www.facebook.com/EvilGiraffesOnMars/?fref=ts Headline Sources: Kushner's clearance downgraded after we learn that several foreign intelligence groups were gonna blackmail the shit out of him: https://www.cnn.com/2018/02/27/politics/jared-kushner-manipulation-mexico-israel-china-uae/index.html Trump gets another fraudulent nomination for the Nobel Peace Prize: https://www.washingtonpost.com/news/morning-mix/wp/2018/03/01/someone-forged-a-nobel-peace-prize-nomination-for-trump-norwegian-officials-say/?utm_term=.a3a4186eef6c Trump wants to arm teachers with guns: https://www.cnn.com/2018/02/21/politics/trump-listening-sessions-parkland-students/i

On this week's episode: Carl the Pugapegacorn starts shilling for the US government ... Fox News pines for the good old Olympic days of 1936 ... And Donald Trump calls "Memo tag, no backsies, no double stamps, timeout I twisted my ankle." To support our show on Patreon, go here: https://www.patreon.com/skepticrat To hear more from Evil Giraffes on Mars, go here: https://www.facebook.com/EvilGiraffesOnMars/?fref=ts Headline Sources: Nunes memo gets released; rebuttal memo gets blocked: https://www.npr.org/2018/02/02/582666768/trump-leans-into-attack-on-fbi-as-clock-ticks-toward-release-of-nunes-memo https://www.theguardian.com/us-news/2018/feb/09/donald-trump-blocks-democrat-nunes-memo-russia That's 4 school shootings in the US in 2018 alone: https://www.cnn.com/2018/02/01/us/school-shootings-in-2018/index.html Fox News column about too many negroes and gays in the Olympics: http://www.chicagotribune.com/sports/international/ct-spt-fox-news-olympics-diversity-column-pulled-2018

On this week's episode: We watched the State of the Union and it was none of those words ... Trump made it super clear that he wants to fuck a hydrocarbon ... And if you order your copy of the Nunes Memo in the next 10 minutes, you'll get a free set of jingly keys. ----------- To support our show on Patreon, go here: https://www.patreon.com/skepticrat ----------- To hear more from Evil Giraffes on Mars, go here: https://www.facebook.com/EvilGiraffesOnMars/?fref=ts ----------- Source Links: https://www.nytimes.com/2018/01/30/us/politics/fact-check-sotu.html https://www.nytimes.com/interactive/2018/01/30/us/politics/state-of-the-union-2018-transcript.html

On this week's episode: Donald Trump is long, strong, and can’t keep the government on … The Patriots all die in a fiery plane crash over and over again forever … And everyone's being super judgmental about eating pods of laundry detergent. To support our show on Patreon, go here: https://www.patreon.com/skepticrat To hear more from Evil Giraffes on Mars, go here: https://www.facebook.com/EvilGiraffesOnMars/?fref=ts Headline Links: Walmart faking trickle down: http://www.cnn.com/2018/01/13/opinions/sams-club-walmart-corporate-greed-tasini-opinion/index.html <> https://www.usatoday.com/story/money/2018/01/11/walmart-boosts-minimum-wage-11-hands-out-bonuses-up-1-000-hourly-workers/1023606001/ Government shuts down: https://www.washingtonpost.com/powerpost/government-shuts-down-after-senate-bill-collapses-negotiations-fail/2018/01/20/dca0d7e0-fda6-11e7-8f66-2df0b94bb98a_story.html Trump's lawyer paid off porn star to stay quiet about affair: https://www.thecut.com/2018/01/everything

On this week's episode: The Trump administration crumbles under the pressure of "a guy listening to what they said" ... The President double dog dares a hostile nation to nuke us AGAIN ... And he also demands that DARPA make him a bomb cyclone button. To support our show on Patreon, go here: https://www.patreon.com/skepticrat To hear more from Evil Giraffes on Mars, go here: https://www.facebook.com/EvilGiraffesOnMars/?fref=ts Headline Links: Trump freaking right the fuck out over new Michael Wolff book: http://www.independent.co.uk/news/world/americas/us-politics/trump-free-speech-libel-law-michael-wolff-fire-fury-mental-state-latest-a8145741.html Sarah Huckabee Sanders wants everyone to stop lying: https://www.rawstory.com/2018/01/tapper-hits-huckabee-sanders-with-damning-list-of-trump-lies-after-she-claims-people-are-not-entitled-to-their-own-facts/ Trump’s climate change denial tweet: http://www.patheos.com/blogs/friendlyatheist/2017/12/29/donald-trumps-climate-tweet-is-a-rem

On this week's episode: The Senate unveils the tax plan equivalent of welshing on a hooker … Roy Moore will start his very own senate across the street from theirs and his will be way better … And the Republican Party is trying to steal our orgasms. To support our show on Patreon, go here: https://www.patreon.com/skepticrat To hear more from Evil Giraffes on Mars, go here: https://www.facebook.com/EvilGiraffesOnMars/?fref=ts Headline Links: Republicans pretty sure they’re ready to go with tax bill: https://www.washingtonpost.com/news/wonk/wp/2017/12/15/the-final-gop-tax-bill-is-complete-heres-what-is-in-it/ White House forced to withdraw two heinous judicial nominations: http://www.rightwingwatch.org/post/white-house-withdraws-two-controversial-judicial-nominations/ FCC gets rid of net neutrality: http://www.businessinsider.com/fcc-to-vote-on-net-neutrality-repeal-2017-12 https://www.wired.com/story/read-fcc-net-neutrality-dissent/ Rex Tillerson thinks maybe nuclear war would be

For $30 off your first week of HelloFresh, visit http://bit.ly/2qQRi8G and enter skepticrat30. On this week's episode: We mourn a tremendous cut to our taxes ... We'll give the three famous guys who never sexually assaulted anybody a high five ... And Mike Flynn rolls over like he was about to get a happy ending. --- To support our show on Patreon, go here: https://www.patreon.com/skepticrat To hear more from Evil Giraffes on Mars, go here: https://www.facebook.com/EvilGiraffesOnMars/?fref=ts --- Headline Links: Tax Bill: http://www.businessinsider.com/gop-tax-bill-senate-budget-committee-vote-2017-11 https://www.washingtonpost.com/news/wonk/wp/2017/12/01/winners-and-losers-in-the-senate-gop-tax-bill-a-running-list/?utm_term=.35a26ced0a6f Trump makes Pocahontas joke at Navajo veterans' event: http://www.cnn.com/2017/11/27/politics/trump-pocahontas-navajo-code-talkers/index.ht Mulvaney takes over CFPB in mini-coup: https://www.usatoday.com/story/news/politics/2017/11/28/judge-

On this week's episode: We deal with collusion confusion ... Sean Hannity is pretty sure he's awesome ... And Sarah Huckabee Sanders forgets that the highest tax payers also get to be billionaires. --- To support our show on Patreon, go here: https://www.patreon.com/skepticrat To hear more from Evil Giraffes on Mars, go here: https://www.facebook.com/EvilGiraffesOnMars/?fref=ts --- Headline Links: Rick Perry says fossil fuels can prevent sexual assault: http://www.bbc.com/news/world-us-canada-41854358 Sarah Huckabee Sanders makes worst analogy for taxes ever: https://www.washingtonpost.com/news/politics/wp/2017/10/31/sarah-sanderss-questionable-argument-that-paying-taxes-is-like-buying-beers/?utm_term=.970269bb4dec Sean Hannity declares himself Oscar-eligible: www.nolink-but-it's/an/amazing.story/anyway

On this week's episode: Florida snowflakes are unable to refute Richard Spencer's ideas ... Millions of Americans learn where Catalonia is ... And the President of the United States spends two weeks failing kindergarten. --- To support our show on Patreon, go here: https://www.patreon.com/skepticrat To hear more from Evil Giraffes on Mars, go here: https://www.facebook.com/EvilGiraffesOnMars/?fref=ts --- Headline Links: Trump missteps on questions about fallen soldiers in Niger: https://www.washingtonpost.com/news/politics/wp/2017/10/21/the-cascade-of-missteps-that-turned-one-white-house-error-into-a-messy-week/ Spain strips Catalonia of autonomy: https://www.nytimes.com/2017/10/21/world/europe/spain-catalonia-mariano-rajoy.html Malawi police arrest 140 in wake of anti-vampire lynchings: http://www.reuters.com/article/us-malawi-violence/malawi-arrests-140-in-clampdown-after-vampirism-killings-idUSKBN1CP192?il=0 Person people like Eli made famous capitalizes on it: http://www.

On this week's episode: The Nazis return to the scene of the hate crime ... Trump will take away free birth control but offer his tiny little hand as an IUD if need be ... And we learn that the Secret Service is diving in front of spite-cum more than ever before. --- To support our show on Patreon, go here: https://www.patreon.com/skepticrat To hear more from Evil Giraffes on Mars, go here: https://www.facebook.com/EvilGiraffesOnMars/?fref=ts --- Headline Links: Trump administration rolls back birth control mandate: http://www.politico.com/story/2017/10/06/trump-rolls-back-obamacares-contraception-rule-243537 and Sessions issues government-wide directive that Christianity is a perfectly acceptable reason for LGBT discrimination: http://www.politico.com/story/2017/10/06/sessions-calls-for-broad-religious-freedom-protections-243536 Multiple asshats explain why god allowed Las Vegas shooting: _http://www.patheos.com/blogs/friendlyatheist/2017/10/03/fox-news-host-maybe-the-las-vega

On this week’s episode: Eli guesses it rained or something somewhere ... The future of humanity lies in the balance of a dick measuring contest between psychopaths ... And lots of stupid Irish people lose money when one of the best boxers of all time beats a not-boxer at boxing. --- To support our show on Patreon, go here: https://www.patreon.com/skepticrat To hear more from Evil Giraffes on Mars, go here: https://www.facebook.com/EvilGiraffesOnMars/?fref=ts --- Headline Links: Arpaio pardon: http://www.rollingstone.com/culture/news/the-long-lawless-ride-of-sheriff-joe-arpaio-20120802 http://www.cnn.com/2017/08/25/politics/sheriff-joe-arpaio-donald-trump-pardon/index.html https://www.washingtonpost.com/blogs/right-turn/wp/2017/08/30/legal-challenge-to-arpaio-pardon-begins/?utm_term=.c6651ecb06b1 https://twitter.com/phoenixnewtimes/status/901263384087334914?lang=en NK fires missile over Japan https://www.nytimes.com/2017/08/28/world/asia/north-korea-missile.html?mcubz=1 Trump t

On this week’s episode: Trump and Tall Tyler get this whole North Korea thing settled ... "Impending nuclear war" will manage to basically fall out of the news cycle ... And we break down how accurate the President was with his "ranking of the races" that he did completely unironically this week. --- To support our show on Patreon, go here: https://www.patreon.com/skepticrat To hear more from Evil Giraffes on Mars, go here: https://www.facebook.com/EvilGiraffesOnMars/?fref=ts --- Headline Links: Trump's response to Charlottesville: http://www.nbcnews.com/news/us-news/trump-defends-all-sides-comment-n793001 http://www.cnn.com/2017/08/19/politics/trump-remarks-alt-right/index.html https://www.washingtonpost.com/opinions/trumps-charlottesville-comments-were-just-another-distraction/2017/08/18/97e6d106-8365-11e7-902a-2a9f2d808496_story.html?utm_term=.205b0cc1516c Nazis starting to get kicked off the internet: https://www.theguardian.com/technology/2017/aug/14/daily-stormer-alt-righ

In this week’s episode, the Trump administration finally tackles that ‘positional stability’ problem they were having, we’ll join the nation in mourning the loss of the Mooch, Eli will try to do a story about football players, and Donald Trump decides who to hate next. --- To support our show on Patreon, go here: https://www.patreon.com/skepticrat To hear more from Evil Giraffes on Mars, go here: https://www.facebook.com/EvilGiraffesOnMars/?fref=ts --- Headline Links: John Kelly replaces Priebus as WH Chief of Staff: http://www.cnn.com/2017/07/31/politics/john-kelly-chief-of-staff/index.html Martin Shkreli convicted of securities fraud: http://www.reuters.com/article/us-usa-crime-shkreli-idUSKBN1AK27F JD may go after colleges for not taking enough whites: https://www.nytimes.com/2017/08/01/us/politics/trump-affirmative-action-universities.html Football player thinks dinosaurs aren’t real http://www.patheos.com/blogs/friendlyatheist/2017/07/29/nfl-player-d-j-reader-dinosaurs-aren

On this week's episode: Letting everyone vote continues to work out the way we thought it would ... Eli's cynical intellectual elitism grows ever more calcified ... And Donald Trump keeps tweeting about how he weighs more than a duck for some reason. To support our show on Patreon, go here: https://www.patreon.com/skepticrat To hear more from Evil Giraffes on Mars, go here: https://www.facebook.com/EvilGiraffesOnMars/?fref=ts

On this week's episode: We check back in with Trump and Tall Tyler ... The White House held a press briefing and we have as much evidence of it as CNN ... And it's totally cool to watch The Cosby Show again ... Also Minnesota COPS. To support our show on Patreon, go here: https://www.patreon.com/skepticrat To hear more from Evil Giraffes on Mars, go here: https://www.facebook.com/EvilGiraffesOnMars/?fref=ts

On this week's show, we release the Trump tapes before Trump does; we stare, jaw agape, at the smoldering, dystopian comic tragedy that is the global political landscape, and Michael Marshall will be here to talk about the UK's latest funkadelic elections. To get tickets to QED, click here: https://qedcon.org/ To learn more about the Good Thinking Society, click here: http://goodthinkingsociety.org/ To learn more about Merseyside Skeptics, click here: http://www.merseysideskeptics.org.uk/ To hear Marsh’s podcasts, click here: http://www.merseysideskeptics.org.uk/podcasts/ To support our show on Patreon, go here: https://www.patreon.com/skepticrat To hear more from Evil Giraffes on Mars, go here: https://www.facebook.com/EvilGiraffesOnMars/?fref=ts

On this week's episode: Jared Kushner offers Russia a tin can and a really long string ... Trump returns from his first foreign trip despite the numerous trails of Reese's Pieces we put out ... And you'll be stone cold stunned by the latest election results out of Montana. To support our show on Patreon, go here: https://www.patreon.com/skepticrat To hear more from Evil Giraffes on Mars, go here: https://www.facebook.com/EvilGiraffesOnMars/?fref=ts

On this week's episode: We [...] ... Eli asks Rod Rosenstein his opinion on the cops who are looking for Phyllis Schlafly's corpse ... And for the first time in history, France is doing better than the US and the UK at dealing with Nazis. To support our show on Patreon, go here: https://www.patreon.com/skepticrat To hear more from Evil Giraffes on Mars, go here: https://www.facebook.com/EvilGiraffesOnMars/?fref=ts

On this week's episode: We review Trump's first hundred days because we're used to reviewing terrible things ... Noah spends nine hours writing a ninety second bit ... And the Bobs as Donald Trump: "What would you say you do here?" To support our show on Patreon, go here: https://www.patreon.com/skepticrat To hear more from Evil Giraffes on Mars, go here: https://www.facebook.com/EvilGiraffesOnMars/?fref=ts

On this week's episode: Eli isn't here because United Airlines needed the seat and they don't fuck around ... The dictionary people consider Post-Minitrue as the new word for White House ... And we get a new teaser trailer from the upcoming conclusion of the "World Wars" trilogy. To support our show on Patreon, go here: https://www.patreon.com/skepticrat To hear more from Evil Giraffes on Mars, go here: https://www.facebook.com/EvilGiraffesOnMars/?fref=ts

On this week's episode: Brazil makes Michael Vick look good ... The E gets a little less U ... And Heath had too much scotch last night, so his face feels like sand and regret. To support our show on Patreon, go here: https://www.patreon.com/skepticrat To hear more from Evil Giraffes on Mars, go here: https://www.facebook.com/EvilGiraffesOnMars/?fref=ts

In this week's episode: We recount Trump's life story to try to figure out where it all went wrong, we help you out on your office's "first presidential dementia diagnosis" pool, and we help the President figure out which problems are caused by which minorities. --- To support our show on Patreon, go here: https://www.patreon.com/skepticrat To hear more from Evil Giraffes on Mars, go here: https://www.facebook.com/EvilGiraffesOnMars/?fref=ts

In this week’s episode, the White House stocks up on tinfoil, we wonder why the mainstream media isn’t reporting on the increase in Manufacturer’s new orders for nondefense capital goods since this show came back on, and America is full of pride after hearing the President talk for an hour without the N-word.

On this week's episode, we break down Donald Trump's first solo press conference while taking turns digging the bomb shelter. --- To support our show on Patreon, go here: https://www.patreon.com/skepticrat To hear more from Evil Giraffes on Mars, go here: https://www.facebook.com/EvilGiraffesOnMars/?fref=ts

In this week's long overdue episode, we count down the top twenty things to be terrified about this week; knowing that by the time we're done there will be new stuff to be terrified about.

In this week's episode, we go against Eli's better judgement and talk about the Dakota access pipeline, we find out that Trump totally meant to do that thing with Taiwan, and we'll find out once and for all if Hillary Clinton really curb stomped that baby penguin. --- If you'd like to make a per episode donation, you should almost certainly check out our Patreon Page: https://www.patreon.com/skepticrat

On episode 41: The sky’s downward trajectory will continue ... Ginsburg and Breyer get fitted for a Weekend at Bernie's rig just in case ... We’ll begrudgingly acknowledge that newsworthy shit is also happening outside of the US ... And Donald Trump meets with the Serpent of Eden about heading up the Department of Agriculture.

On this week's episode, we just kind of stare at our hands and wish we lived in one of those different universes.

In our long awaited return episode, Heath, Eli, and Noah join forces to break down the most bizarre meltdown in the history of presidential debate.  With a run time of an hour and twenty minutes, we try desperately to make up for how long it's been since we've debuted a new episode. And we hope you forgive us.

On episode 38: People who get punched in the head for a living turn out NOT to be on top of social progress ... Tom Cotton grows a beard so that they’ll stop carding him on the way into R-rated movies ... And Tom Cotton still gets carded at R-rated movies. --- Our theme music is written and performed by Ryan Slotnick of Evil Giraffes on Mars.  If you'd like to hear more, check out their Facebook page.

On episode 37: We tell the GOP that, while we appreciate the effort, we were perfectly willing to make fun of a sane candidate if they had one ... You'll hear Eli Bosnick do a brief rendition of Sarah McLachlan's "Angel" ... And Tennessee moves to protect its valuable mental illness export business.

On episode 36: Utah will finally tackle foreign dependence on hand-lotion ... Black people finally call it even after getting slightly included in the new currency ... We’ll talk about what’s penetrating Gwyneth Paltrow these days ... And we'll learn how flying penis robots could affect your morning commute.

On episode 35: The Panama papers make doing a political comedy show unnecessarily complicated and researchy ... Indiana women seeking an abortion will have to answer these questions three ... Numerous forest critters will throw their official endorsements behind Bernie Sanders ... And a poor naming choice by George Mason University comes back to bite them in the Antonin Scalia School.

On episode 34: GOP lawmakers in North Carolina remind us that they’re obsessed with the genitals of school children ... The KKK is totally on board with making America great again ... The National Enquirer alleges that Ted Cruz has been fucking women in non-metaphorical ways, too ... And a New York doctor learns the difference between manual labor and a hand job the hard way.

On episode 33 ... The 2016 presidential election will ramp up its efforts to ensure that no matter what happens in 2020, it’s gonna bore the shit out of us; It's been 4 days since the GOP debate started, and Ben Carson still hasn't been allowed to speak yet; Abortion doctors consider putting googly eyes on all their instruments, just so that doomed little zygote thinks it made a friend; And Christian God gets beat up by a lion.

On this week's episode: Eli Bosnick will be here to help us wish it was harder to make fun of these debates, the GOP starts to realize they got made into season 15 of Celebrity Apprentice, we'll get most of the way through a debate before anyone realizes that Jeb isn't there anymore, and the candidates weigh the pros and cons of people dying on the sidewalk.

  On this week's episode, Antonin Scalia puts the “bitch” back in obituary, we learn that New Hampshire wants a presidential candidate who possesses the virtue of unelectability, LIGO discovers gravity waves emanating from deep space, and Australian immigration officials immediately draft legislation to turn them back, and the Ted Cruz campaign decides to stop hiring people using a casting couch.

On this week's episode, the presidential election you can't believe isn't over yet gets started, Donald Trump is scared of a girl, the feds divert some of those Jade Helm troops to Oregon for a bit, and Mat Staver warns that something called "Jizya" is behind the widening homosexual tax gap.---Our theme music is written and performed by Ryan Slotnick of Evil Giraffes on Mars.  If you'd like to hear more, check out their Facebook page.

This week, Eli Bosnick joins us to break down the latest GOP primary debate, where we learn that the circus might be losing the elephants, but the elephants certainly aren't losing the circus.

In this hour long special, Eli Bosnick joins us to prove that we can make inappropriate jokes in a bipartisan manner, Bernie Sanders delivers some words of wisdom from his founding father, Lincoln Chafee makes it through the entire debate without gobbling, and Hillary Clinton whips it out.

In this week's episode, Mormon god hits the snooze button on the apocalypse one more time; the average skin color in GOP leadership gets eight shades less orange; we'll learn that the Pope did meet with Kim Davis, but he didn't like her, so he didn't inhale; and thanks to Heath's repeated threats of self immolation, McDonalds starts serving breakfast all day.

In this week's hour long special edition, Eli Bosnick joins us to break down the second of what they're swearing are the GOP Primary debates.  Listen in as CNN realizes they should have gone with Vince McMahon instead of Jake Tapper.  Find out if Scott Walker was able to defeat Nitro in Breakthrough and Conquer.  And trust us that we don't find drug addiction fatalaties funny.

In this week's episode; we'll learn that either five randomly plotted points in a plane can form an irregular pentagon, or Christianity is true; New Jersey dabbles in baby fighting; we'll make jokes that you'll feel guilty for laughing at; and Eli Bosnick will be here to kiss some hands and shake some babies.

In this week's episode; we'll urge people to let the Ashley Madison story die out before they reach the Ls; New York City lawmakers deliberate over the optimal level of nipplage in Time Square; Rick Wiles and Jim Bakker will join together to form a giant, homophobic robot; and a high-ranking Hamas general almost gets nudged to death by a Jewish dolphin.

In this fortnight's episode, Eli Bosnick joins us for a special one hour kickoff to the primary debate season.

In this week's episode, we'll get a biology lesson from a guy who thinks demons live in your man-batter, "Pluthers" warn that so-called images of Pluto may contain mind-controlling levels of fluoride, we'll bring you the least erotic story to ever involve a parade of salad tossing men dressed as Spartans, and Donald Trump hopes to be successful like Ross Perot one day.

In this week's episode, God will forget to destroy America over legalized same sex marriage for another week; Jade Helm 15 operatives won't herd citizens into prison camps right away, as a decoy; rapper 50 Cent admits that his stage name grossly exaggerates his net worth; and we learn that where Jared Fogle might be going, he's gonna need all that experience swallowing footlongs.

In this week's episode; Iowa will surprise the world by finding a way to become even less relevant; computer security experts confirm that the jews also control the digital media, Franklin Graham fails to realize that getting f*cked in the *ss by your bank is a figure of speech, and a Texas man tries to prevent the next Million Man March by crowdsourcing each black guy a dollar at a time to stay home.And, in way of apology for abandoning you for the next four Skepticratless weeks, we give you ten bonus minutes.Music by Ryan Slotnick.  Hear more here: http://evilgiraffesonmars.com/

In this week's episode, we'll reference a bit about correcting errors in the intro, then we'll cut the error correction part of the show in post production, thus creating a brand new error in need of correcting; Donald Trump recruits a Nazi doctor to help advise the Pentagon on nuclear policy; Alex Jones will ooze more stupid into the world; and we'll all learn to stop worry and love the bomb.

In this week's episode we'll learn that they cheat at the other kind of football, too; we'll discover that when it's 120 degrees fahrenheit, people in India don't care which genocidal dictator is on their ice cream package; and we'll wonder why a Mexican demon wouldn't be named Carlos Carlos.

In this week's episode, we'll parrot leftwing talking points while disingenuously presenting ourselves as centirsts, apparently; Bill Belichick is relieved to hear about a Patriot Act spying scandal that doesn't involve him; we'll do our best to cope with the whole "less progressive than Ireland" realization; and Josh Duggar makes us really hope there's at least one exception to rule 34.

In this week's episode, Nestle bottled water considers Baron Vladimir Harkonnen of the Dune Universe for CEO, Heath and Noah spend a few minutes complaining about their impotence, and activists for the unfairer sex accuse Charlize Theron of messing with their glass floor.

On this week's episode, we'll open up with a joke that'll prune the prudes early, we'll follow it with a bunch of jokes that will make them happy they left when they did, and then we'll cap it off with some sperm jokes.

In this week's episode; a Dutch designer will bring necrophilia into the twenty-first century; the Illuminati world takeover gets foiled again when they underestimate Bastrop, Texas; Budweiser will rethink their new "roofie-flavored" label; and science wasn't really getting us anywhere, so Congress decides to start shutting that stuff down.

A Tennessee swinger's club will find out how many times you have to scream "oh god!" before you're a church, everyone who feels their estate was unfairly taxed raises their hand, we'll examine the rich tapestry of Muslim culture one terrorist group at a time, and Gwyneth Paltrow survives for a week on nothing but a twenty-nine dollar martini and five-thousand free olives.

In this week's episode, Obama will put the kibosh on our straight-to-gay conversion clinics before we can even get them off the ground, we'll learn that seven out of seven kids with rickets recommend vaccinations, the State of South Carolina feels like we pulled a fast one on them once somebody explained what "women's suffrage" meant, and the NRA says they can't be held responsible for a bullet once it's left the rifle's jurisdiction.

In this week's episode, we'll learn that the TPP, the TPIP, and TP are equally deserving of having feces wiped on them; Senator Bob Menendez will learn that pimpin' ain't easy; the Raelians will remind us that Scientology isn't the only foaming-at-the-mouth crazy UFO cult game in town, and the state of Indiana gets an invisible gay hand job from the market.

In this week's episode, we'll deal with a rare outbreak of unrest in the Middle East, the US Geological Survey will dabble in fecalchemy, we'll question the effectiveness of going after Indiana's lucrative tourist business, and the Senate's budget plan demonstrates that if we ignore old and sick people, the problem will go away.

In this week's episode, Benjamin Netanyahu will teach us that things with "Yahoo" in the name stick around long after they stop being useful, Marco Rubio learns that the internet isn't an actual place, and we'll learn that nuclear proliferation is no longer a problem, as Ted Cruz checked New Hampshire and didn't find many nuclear warheads there.

In this week's episode, Rick Scott will force Florida environmental scientists to present their findings in mime, America goes from Kennedy Camelot to Clinton Spam-alot, we'll learn that those guys from the Skepticrats are violent communists, and Lucinda Lugeons strikes out three Secret Service agents with a nasty Bugs Bunny change up.

In this week's episode, Ferguson, Missouri defends itself against charges of institutional racism by asking if you can really trust a Justice Department run by a black guy; a NJ town takes action after finding hydrogen hydroxide in their water system; House Republicans will see to it the EPA has the best science money can redact; and GOP considers running Ben Carson as a token... of their esteem.

In this week's episode, a Massachusetts museum will open up a fully interactive UFO abduction display where you can probe your own anus, invisible crop duster cure America of erectile dysfunction in Project: Jet Blue Balls, Scott Walker proactively pardons Bill Cosby, and we learn that blowing a centaur is known to be bad for your health by the state of Georgia.

In this week's episode, we'll learn about bleaching the assholes of autistic kids for fun and profit, a Mississippi state representative has trouble adjusting to the new post-bellum society, Glenn Beck compares Jenny McCarthy to Galileo (and not just because neither of them have had detectable brain activity in the past 373 years), and Bryan Fischer teaches us that gay marriage minus slavery equals holocaust.

In this week's episode, we'll learn all about setting babies on fire for fun and profit, Scott Walker gets sacked on 3rd and long by a British journalist, we'll reveal ourselves to be pro-nipple, and James Inhofe convinces Obama that we need to beat the Russians to the moon.

In this week's episode, we'll wash our hands before eating and thereby become the unwitting progenitors of a socialist plot, delivering a non-ironic message with a twist of irony, Jew God resurfaces in Syria to help torture and behead a top ISIS "beheading guy," we'll learn why British men need to know that no yes means no, and we learn that it was Brian Williams who took over that time Atlas shrugged.

In this week's episode we learn what misinformed, science denying, ideologically motivated soccer moms have in common with room temperature mayonnaise; Sarah Palin's teleprompter malfunction is almost as entertaining as Janet Jackson's wardrobe malfunction; we'll look to Yemen in an effort to make America's government look functional; and Gwyneth Paltrow gets rug burn from squatting over a vaginal laser kettle.