BRAP BRAP! What's going on, Internet? Oh boy, do we have a story -- it's about a nonsense podcast that has run for nearly the length of a full U.S. primary education (with, come to think of it, pretty equivalent educational standards and pay for the teachers). But now, it is the proverbial graduation ceremony, which means it's time to get day-drunk on hobo liquor one last time with your favorite goofball hosts in this three-hour spectacular. Before we put the button back in cold storage, we get up to the usual stupid shenanigans, reflect on the last 11.5 years, answer a few final listener questions, and hear from our significant others (and yes, someone cries). From the entire Comedy Button cast to everyone who has supported this silly endeavor of ours: Thank you. Starring Brian Altano, Scott Bromley, Anthony Gallegos, Ryan Scott, Max Scoville, and Kristin Van De Yar, with special appearances from Theresa Altano, Stacey Bromley, and Jenn Scoville.

Gadzooks! After more than 11 years of this nonsense horseplay, we're finally putting the ol' button back under the protective glass and pretending to go about our lives as well-respected adults who have it all figured out.  Yes, the Comedy Button is coming to a close with our final episode, coming to you at the end of February/beginning of March/something like that. We've got all the details right here in this mini-episode, so if you don't want to go through life confused and bewildered about why your usual Friday podcast stopped appearing on the Zune Marketplace or wherever these things go now, give it a listen!  Sincerely from your pals, Brian Altano, Scott Bromley, Ryan Scott, Max Scoville, and Kristin Van De Yar.

We manage to introduce the show three different times thanks to the dumb Internet turning off. In part 1, Kristin tells us about her new acting career. Then in part 2, after we lose Kristin, we get lost on some tangent about bumper stickers. Finally, in the epic conclusion, Kristin makes her surprise return and we learn about TikTok haircut culture, hear about a motel that Harry Styles might have banged out in, and go on a wild 1990s movie marathon. Starring Brian Altano, Scott Bromley, Ryan Scott, Max Scoville, and Kristin Van De Yar.

Ryan blows no one's mind with Laff-A-Lympics lore, we learn all about the thin and colorful lines that dumb people put on flags, we do our annual check-in on terrible candy, and we still have that dream about eating a cheese pizza in an airport limo. Starring Brian Altano, Scott Bromley, Ryan Scott, and Max Scoville.

The Comedy Button presents: A New Year's PSA to clean up your dog's poop. Starring Brian Altano, Scott Bromley, Ryan Scott, and Kristin Van De Yar.

Kristin shares her birthday plans, we learn George Jetson facts, Ryan gets UM ACTUALLY'd, and we learn about all the times Kristin laughed at some dumb stuff. Starring Brian Altano, Scott Bromley, Ryan Scott, Max Scoville, and Kristin Van De Yar.

We learn about Pilates, revisit some of the worst sounds on this show, share some George Washington facts, reveal our most-desired cartoon injuries, and offer up some parenting advice. Starring Brian Altano, Scott Bromley, Ryan Scott, Max Scoville, and Kristin Van De Yar.

Ryan attempts to turn this into an ASMR podcast (with horrifying results), Max has a Tim Dolphin update, Scott loves him some Tay Sway, and we collectively discover the dumbest bears, the worst Etsy listings, and the pitfalls of Mystery Inc's business structure, in some of the worst radio we could possibly muster. Starring Brian Altano, Scott Bromley, Ryan Scott, Max Scoville, and Kristin Van De Yar.

Kristin tells us about her haunted private school, Max is the new hype man for upcoming YouTube star Tim Dolphin (be sure to stick around after the episode for a brief clip), Ryan is somehow starting to feel better about life, and we declare Renaissance Faire to actually be Renaissance Convention. Starring Brian Altano, Ryan Scott, Max Scoville, and Kristin Van De Yar. (And here's a convenient link to that Tim Dolphin song: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Nv1ZK6fmjfc)

We bring you up-to-date on stupid candy just in time for Halloween, investigate where all the hotel bibles went, recount the Estevez brothers' many stupid ideas in life, and warmly reminisce about John Leguizamo's best movie. Starring Brian Altano, Ryan Scott, and Max Scoville.

We learn too much about America's Funniest Home Videos, reveal what we would do if we were talking dogs, figure out where the porn gets filmed, debate this year's this year's Halloween costumes, and recall our fondest food poisoning memories. Starring Brian Altano, Scott Bromley, Ryan Scott, and Max Scoville.

We talk about Waterworld more than anyone ever has, Brian nearly kidnaps a child by mistake, we ask too many questions about X-Men bathroom habits, and Kristin tells us about the world's most horrifying jewelry. Starring Brian Altano, Scott Bromley, Ryan Scott, Max Scoville, and Kristin Van De Yar.

Kristin goes to Medieval Times and Disneyland, Brian and Max go to Germany, Scott goes to Michigan through a newspaper, and Ryan talks less than he ever has in the history of this show. Starring Brian Altano, Scott Bromley, Max Scoville, and Kristin Van De Yar.

Scott reports on his latest big dumb trip to Michigan, we learn way too much about fancy ice cream coffee desserts, Max holds a problematic film festival for himself, and Ryan discusses the oeuvre of Andy Sidaris. Starring Brian Altano, Scott Bromley, Ryan Scott, Max Scoville, and Kristin Van De Yar.

We dunk on Scott since he's not here, and then Brian and Max tell us all about their stupid and terrible San Diego Comic-Con COVID-19 adventure. Three down, two to go! Starring Brian Altano, Ryan Scott, Max Scoville, and Kristin Van De Yar.

Kristin is the first of us to go on a big COVID adventure, Brian remembers all of New Jersey's weird laws, and we get a bunch of movies with the same title mixed up. Starring Brian Altano, Scott Bromley, Ryan Scott, Max Scoville, and Kristin Van De Yar.

The Comedy Button curse strikes Great America! But we don't care, because half of us went on some really dumb vacations, and Brian learned that even homes in haunted swamps are unaffordable. Starring Brian Altano, Scott Bromley, Ryan Scott, and Max Scoville.

Evidently there are thumb truthers who believe that we only have eight fingers, so, that's a thing. Kristin also gets to tell us all about her trip to Spain, but not before Ryan derails the podcast for 15 minutes to dorksplain the country's most accomplished tennis player. Starring Brian Altano, Scott Bromley, Ryan Scott, Max Scoville, and Kristin Van De Yar.

We talk about all the Stranger Things, remember Paramount's old theme parks, catch up with a very fake Jonathan Taylor Thomas, imagine how many porno pizzas get delivered in New York, and discover some fake shared memories about the giant cartoon checks they used to hand out on TV. Starring Brian Altano, Scott Bromley, Ryan Scott, and Max Scoville.

We find another alternate Ryan Scott, discover Facebook's fake Brian Altano, weigh the use of ROFL in 2022, come up with some fun stuff to do in San Francisco (wrong answers only), and reveal our personal Hobbit tier lists. Starring Brian Altano, Scott Bromley, Ryan Scott, Max Scoville, and Kristin Van De Yar.

After a super-serious intro (not really), we rank the best ghost-hunting shows, learn about midwifery, listen to Kristin's pitch for a dating show, and run down some unfortunate college acronyms. Starring Brian Altano, Scott Bromley, Ryan Scott, Max Scoville, and Kristin Van De Yar.

Kristin encounters a public porn-watcher and takes in some drunk Shakespeare, Brian joins the Stein Society, half the cast gets onboard with ad hoc parenting, and we answer a bunch of rapid-fire questions. Starring Brian Altano, Scott Bromley, Ryan Scott, Max Scoville, and Kristin Van De Yar.

Winamp still whips the llama's ass, the Great Gatsby is still pretty good, Willy Wonka is still very weird, and and Jared Leto still sucks. Starring Brian Altano, Scott Bromley, Ryan Scott, and Max Scoville.

We do some Urban Dictionary deep-dives, celebrate the oeuvre of Nicolas Cage, share some cool tricks to avoid working, and get a visit from the Brain Cops. Starring Brian Altano, Ryan Scott, Max Scoville, and Kristin Van De Yar.

Brian cooks the worst meal of his life, Scott melts his jukebox, Kristin owns the world's newest medieval jug, we reveal the secret origin of our podcast's name, and 4-H gets a Comedy Button makeover. Starring Brian Altano, Scott Bromley, Ryan Scott, Max Scoville, and Kristin Van De Yar.

We have a spirited discussion about our favorite gas station brands and treats (seriously this is what it's come to), imagine the most effective way to fight Ryan as a bird, give mad props to our boy Lanky Kong, and pick out our most favorite old YouTube shows and memes like the geriatric millennials that we are. Starring Brian Altano, Scott Bromley, Ryan Scott, Max Scoville, and Kristin Van De Yar.

We decide what our drug nicknames are, explore the local porn forests, learn that Brian's mom was a hard-boiled party detective, and recount the longest lies we've ever kept up. Starring Brian Altano, Scott Bromley, Ryan Scott, Max Scoville, and Kristin Van De Yar.

We examine the carbon footprint of breast implants, have a debate about monkey bread, try to decide which of two crimes are worse, and hear Kristin's best guess at the plot of Superman Returns. Starring Brian Altano, Ryan Scott, Max Scoville, and Kristin Van De Yar.

We celebrate the happy-so-far new year with some scheduling changes, learn about the time Scott's wife almost killed him, try to imagine what the worst giant animal would be, and discover way too much about nightmare McDonald's playground equipment. Starring Brian Altano, Scott Bromley, Ryan Scott, and Kristin Van De Yar.

The world suddenly makes a lot more sense when you realize there are no actual adults anywhere up in here, especially when it's five nonsense people trying to imagine which Master of Disguise scene Dana Carvey was filming when 9/11 happened. And that's a wrap on 2021, everyone! Starring Brian Altano, Scott Bromley, Ryan Scott, Max Scoville, and Kristin Van De Yar.

Kristin had an awesome surprise birthday party, we try to explain NFTs, Max got us a bunch of silly Christmas gifts, and somehow they made like 17 more Home Alone movies that we're just now finding out about. Starring Brian Altano, Scott Bromley, Ryan Scott, Max Scoville, and Kristin Van De Yar.

We imagine an alternate universe where Master P had a popular rap about Final Fantasy, recount how stupid the Death of Superman was, and fondly remember our local teen troublemaking spots. Starring Brian Altano, Scott Bromley, Ryan Scott, Max Scoville, and Kristin Van De Yar.

There are now so many Marvel movies that we can't remember all of them, so instead of worrying about that malarkey, we try to figure just what the heck a warlock is, and why it's better than a wizard (spoiler: it's not). Starring Brian Altano, Ryan Scott, and Max Scoville.

Scott reveals his big surprise to the world, Ryan doesn't know what's in a bugout bag, the Bromley family ran the world's weirdest camgirl show, and -- a little too late -- we discover a hilariously unfortunate namesake. Starring Brian Altano, Scott Bromley, Ryan Scott, Max Scoville, and Kristin Van De Yar.

We're all Dum-Dums in this episode, as we explain Tootsie Pop superstitions, recount the times we were terrible, experience the longest and most convoluted story Kristin has ever told, and remember the biggest messes we've ever had to clean up. Starring Brian Altano, Scott Bromley, Ryan Scott, Max Scoville, and Kristin Van De Yar.

Kristin shares her hair tips, Scott finds the dumbest reason to visit Party City, we wonder why there aren't more good werewolf movies, and we were all probably that one bad friend at some point. Starring Brian Altano, Scott Bromley, Ryan Scott, Max Scoville, and Kristin Van De Yar.

Kristin tries to figure out TikTok, social media believes all kinds of wrong and stupid things about us, our horoscopes are definitely not a bunch of nonsense, and we wish some sweet toys upon our younger selves. Starring Brian Altano, Ryan Scott, Max Scoville, and Kristin Van De Yar.

Welcome to our dystopian hellscape, where a guy ate at Six Flags on the cheap for seven years, and Max crashed a social influencer's debauched birthday party. Starring Brian Altano, Ryan Scott, Max Scoville, and Kristin Van De Yar.

We have a very strange conversation about Mummies Alive, wonder about horse treats, try to imagine what sorts of 2010s nostalgia we'll be inundated with in 20 years, and debate traveling through time to talk to ourselves. Starring Brian Altano, Scott Bromley, Ryan Scott, and Max Scoville.

Yep, it's your favorite movie review podcast, the Comedy Button. After talking about Ghostbusters, we workshop ideas for a footlong chicken nugget, debate hot dog burgers vs. burger hot dogs, and learn about Max's Harry Potter panic attack. Starring Brian Altano, Scott Bromley, Ryan Scott, and Max Scoville.

For our extra-special and totally well-planned 10th anniversary episode, we gave Brian and Scott the night off so we could shame some truly terrible parents, make a list of our favorite overhyped cities, plan Ryan's imaginary political campaign, and review all the bad movies that came out four years ago. Starring Ryan Scott, Max Scoville, and Kristin Van De Yar.

We say way too many words about Pokemon, have our annual monster cereal discussion, divulge everything we know about memes, and guess what Dune is about. Starring Brian Altano, Scott Bromley, Ryan Scott, Max Scoville, and Kristin Van De Yar.

Jared Petty returns to tell us why having a breakthrough case of COVID-19 really sucks and also explain why his stairs collapsed, and then we delve into the wild west of the early Internet. Starring Brian Altano, Ryan Scott, and Max Scoville, with special guest Jared Petty.

Jared Petty is here to tell us about his new place, shed a tear for his favorite tree, and talk about all kinds of dumb comics and tabletop games and terrible technology. Starring Brian Altano, Ryan Scott, and Max Scoville, with special guest Jared Petty.

Scott's latest boring white people vacation was at a weird haunted hotel, we discover that there are Yelp reviews of websites, we remember the times we got suckered by targeted ads, and Ryan imagines how he would handle real-life stadium events. Starring Brian Altano, Scott Bromley, Ryan Scott, Max Scoville, and Kristin Van De Yar.

Kristin tells us about her Hawaiian vacation, we dig deep on Charles Entertainment Cheese, and everyone reveals how they would break up with Ryan. Starring Brian Altano, Scott Bromley, Ryan Scott, Max Scoville, and Kristin Van De Yar.

We discuss the oeuvre of Jenna Jameson, discover that we are all Garfield, try to figure out what Miracle Whip is, and figure out what Ryan's stupid quest would be if he were Indiana Jones. Starring Brian Altano, Scott Bromley, Ryan Scott, and Max Scoville.

In this very stupid episode, we make a Dungeons & Dragons alignment chart for fast food restaurants. Starring Brian Altano, Ryan Scott, Max Scoville, and Kristin Van De Yar.

Max tells us about the weirdos he went to art school with, Kristin destroys her academic bell curve, and Brian recounts some house party fights. Starring Brian Altano, Ryan Scott, Max Scoville, and Kristin Van De Yar.

The Internet's #1 podcast for The Suicide Squad, boomerang shapes, jury duty tips, and Love Island theorycrafting. Starring Brian Altano, Ryan Scott, Max Scoville, and Kristin Van De Yar.

We recount the secret history of the Predator, relive our memories of Blockbuster Video, share our favorite bad smells, read Amazon reviews of other people's favorite bad smells, and get taken on the world's stupidest office tour. Starring Brian Altano, Scott Bromley, Ryan Scott, Max Scoville, and Kristin Van De Yar.

Wow, we've been making this nonsense for 500 episodes now! Our old pal Anthony Gallegos is back to help us celebrate, and also to school us on the art of motorcycle maintenance, provide an update on his menagerie, ponder the inner workings of Real Doll customer service, play us a jaunty tune on his penny whistle, and help us explain some of our stupider Comedy Button traditions to Kristin. Starring Brian Altano, Scott Bromley, Ryan Scott, Max Scoville, and Kristin Van De Yar, with special guest Anthony Gallegos.

Max pawns his cat off on some suckers, Brian reinforces this decision with cat horror stories aplenty, we wonder what our ideal jobs in space might be, and we imagine what a Comedy Button Freaky Friday would look like. Starring Brian Altano, Scott Bromley, Ryan Scott, Max Scoville, and Kristin Van De Yar.

We ponder the Moana Lisa, Kristin confesses to her crimes, Scott tells his weird puke stories, we decide on the most stackable animals, and Max gets himself some Wolverine ice cream. Starring Brian Altano, Scott Bromley, Ryan Scott, Max Scoville, and Kristin Van De Yar.

Sorry, everybody -- we made Ryan host again. Scott explains why he has no free time anymore, Brian learns how to smoke meat from flat-earthers, and we learn more about everybody's dorky high school life, Starring Brian Altano, Scott Bromley, Ryan Scott, and Kristin Van De Yar.

It's the latest episode of the Comedy Button, the Internet's #1 fine art and movie podcast. Starring Brian Altano, Scott Bromley, Ryan Scott, Max Scoville, and Kristin Van De Yar.

Settle in with us as we finally get some real pizza whistles and swazzle stars, and Scott tells us his wild and crazy Michigan tales about the fireworks factory and the world's stupidest pizza parlor. Starring Brian Altano, Scott Bromley, Ryan Scott, Max Scoville, and Kristin Van De Yar.

Wrestling and comic books are all pretty dumb, cell phones make horror movies way less scary, Ryan has no idea what people do at bars, and we decide whether we would take drugs to find ghosts. Starring Brian Altano, Scott Bromley, Ryan Scott, Max Scoville, and Kristin Van De Yar.

We learn that private schools even have ritzy bullies, Ryan tells us about all the coins he's hoarding for the boatman, Max books a sewer tour, and we come up with some terrible toy ideas. Starring Brian Altano, Scott Bromley, Ryan Scott, Max Scoville, and Kristin Van De Yar.

We have a good old-fashioned debate about how bad the Lord of the Rings movies are, offer up some terrible ideas about all the stupidest food, and have a few close brushes with some Lovecraftian ocean beasts. Starring Brian Altano, Scott Bromley, Ryan Scott, Max Scoville, and Kristin Van De Yar.

We do our annual check-in on monster cereal, Ryan returns to Benihana at long last, and we realize we're into a bunch of boring adult stuff now. Starring Brian Altano, Scott Bromley, Ryan Scott, Max Scoville, and Kristin Van De Yar.

Welcome to the Comedy Button, your #1 source for mummy lore, mummy facts, and other mummy-related stuff. Starring Brian Altano, Scott Bromley, Ryan Scott, Max Scoville, and Kristin Van De Yar.

It turns out you really CAN forget how to ride a bike, we don't know much about throwing balls around, bad horror movies are good horror movies, and we spend even more time babbling about hot dogs. Starring Brian Altano, Ryan Scott, and Max Scoville.

We vote on the world's most official best donuts list, identify the celebrities that definitely eat leftovers, and figure out what kinds of enchanted objects we would be. Starring Brian Altano, Scott Bromley, Ryan Scott, Max Scoville, and Kristin Van De Yar.

Seth Macy returns to tell us about the old new Maine news, the new new Maine news, all the cool teen snacks of 20xx, downloading shareware games from the local BBS, and his favorite Hackers autograph. Starring Brian Altano, Scott Bromley, Ryan Scott, Max Scoville, and Kristin Van De Yar, with special guest Seth Macy.

We ring in poopin' season with some talk about the James Bonds, Max finds his stud finder (or did the stud finder find him?), we recount some dumb school assembly meetings, and we get some dirt on all those danged pot-smoking kids. Starring Brian Altano, Scott Bromley, Ryan Scott, Max Scoville, and Kristin Van De Yar.

Kristin tells us about the Godzilla MonsterVerse, and then we learn the difference between tunnels and chunnels, and reminisce about the before times. Starring Brian Altano, Scott Bromley, Ryan Scott, and Kristin Van De Yar.

Ryan schools everybody on the best techno music, we try to rank the worst U.S. Presidents, Max tells us all about getting peed on by his infant, and we discuss that tried and true topic: porn on the Internet. Starring Brian Altano, Scott Bromley, Ryan Scott, Max Scoville, and Kristin Van De Yar.

We're learning about the birds and the bees week, cuz Max is a BABBY DADDY! Starring Brian Altano, Scott Bromley, Ryan Scott, Max Scoville, and Kristin Van De Yar.

It's time to eat some X-rated pizza, talk about TV shows we love that will be regarded as old people stuff in several years, recall our biggest high school scandals, and do some public intoxication. Starring Brian Altano, Scott Bromley, Ryan Scott, Max Scoville, and Kristin Van De Yar.

In an episode that is definitely kinda messed up because our podcasting platform's redesign unexpectedly broke our audio (sorry about that), Ryan has more fun with stupid sound effects, Brian tells us how Italians feel about The Godfather, Max braces for fatherhood, we contemplate the worst time to pass gas, and the world's saddest Burger King kids' meal get delivered. Starring Brian Altano, Scott Bromley, Ryan Scott, Max Scoville, and Kristin Van De Yar.

Our recording software's new version sucks (except for the new sound board that Ryan's been tormenting everyone with), Scott had an encounter with some weird-ass beachgoers, Kristin explains Die Hard, and Paddington Bear is apparently packing something big under that coat. Starring Brian Altano, Scott Bromley, Ryan Scott, Max Scoville, and Kristin Van De Yar.

Scott finds Ryan's old coffee stains, we reveal our dream casting for the Macho Man biopic, Medieval Times is apparently dealing with the pandemic rather well, and Brian's kid gets some life coaching. Starring Brian Altano, Scott Bromley, Ryan Scott, Max Scoville, and Kristin Van De Yar.

Jared Petty joins us to talk about life on the farm (and the cultural paradox that is North Carolina), Kristin reveals her least-favorite part of the show, and we all tell some crazy neighbor stories. Starring Brian Altano, Ryan Scott, Max Scoville, and Kristin Van De Yar, with special guest Jared Petty.

We had a happy Saturday recording day to tell you all about the mile high club (not that one you sick sex pervert), throw down with an east coast vs. west coast debate, accidentally touch all the stuff at the store, and discover Kristin's love for IHOP. Starring Brian Altano, Ryan Scott, Max Scoville, and Kristin Van De Yar.

Guest host Laura Kate Dale wrote an entire book about video game butts, so of course we need to talk all about it! Starring Brian Altano, Ryan Scott, Max Scoville, and Kristin Van De Yar, with special guest Laura Kate Dale. Buy Laura's book, "Things I Learned from Mario's Butt," @ https://amzn.to/3tOqA2d Listen to Dice Funk @ https://apple.co/2ZaPOd6

Scott's busy moving, Brian loves a good baseball bat of meat, Max wants a treadmill desk, Ryan never wants to board a cruise ship, and Kristin has the world's weirdest family tree. Starring Brian Altano, Ryan Scott, Max Scoville, and Kristin Van De Yar.

Kristin gets a dog, we remember the most inappropriate things we've worn at work, the Ford Bronco is uncanceled, and we learn where to take Ryan on a date. Starring Brian Altano, Scott Bromley, Ryan Scott, Max Scoville, and Kristin Van De Yar.

We talk about the world's weirdest robot movie, the most trivial things that made us cry, our personal showering policies, and how we got all these scars. Starring Brian Altano, Scott Bromley, Ryan Scott, Max Scoville, and Kristin Van De Yar.

What a stupid year 2021 already is! Let's forget about all that for a few minutes and talk about Brian's Costco check-out etiquette, Max's unexpectedly deep knowledge of Babar lore, the worst place to get diarrhea, and all the things we liked before they were cool. Starring Brian Altano, Scott Bromley, Ryan Scott, Max Scoville, and Kristin Van De Yar.

We start 2021 off with a bang by clearing the air about some of our dumb and bad D&D ideas, learning about Oklahoma's official state drink, and provide some pro tips for all you young whippersnappers moving away from home for the first time (assuming that's the sort of thing people can do this year, of course). Starring Brian Altano, Scott Bromley, Ryan Scott, Max Scoville, and Kristin Van De Yar

It's off to the haunted windmill in this fourth and final (for now) episode of the Comedy Button's Dungeons & Dragons campaign. The party loots some gross cinnamon buns, breaks everything, makes friends with a bloodthirsty sword, and learns that vampires might be giant incel manbabies. Starring Brian Altano, Scott Bromley, Ryan Scott, Max Scoville, and Kristin Van De Yar.

In this third episode of our epic Dungeons & Dragons campaign, Brian takes some time out for a little Dungeons & DoorDash, the party tries to pull the ol' wagon inspector trick on some fantasy New Jerseyites, and we discover the groups Achilles' heel: puzzles. Starring Brian Altano, Scott Bromley, Ryan Scott, Max Scoville, and Kristin Van De Yar.

In the second episode of our four-part Dungeons & Dragons adventure, our motley crew takes a break from their indecisiveness to harass some townies and graphically loot corpses. They are truly the heroes we both need and deserve. Starring Brian Altano, Scott Bromley, Ryan Scott, Max Scoville, and Kristin Van De Yar.

Hail and well-met, or something! In the first of a four-part Dungeons & Dragons adventure, three malcontent travelers from what may as well be a random character creator enter the mists with their beleaguered caretaker, and wind up almost getting eaten by wolves. We hope you enjoy this weird, stupid journey! Starring Brian Altano, Scott Bromley, Ryan Scott, Max Scoville, and Kristin Van De Yar.

We have some video oopsies, Brian and Max declare war on pie, Brendan Fraser leaves and comes back again, we have some audio oopsies, people tell us all about the houses where the 'nog gets filmed, and we try to imagine what our personal Greek god resumes would look like. Starring Brian Altano, Scott Bromley, Ryan Scott, Max Scoville, and Kristin Van De Yar.

Join us as we delve into the town pervert's 'nog stash, marvel at all of Panera's stupid terrible bread, weigh the pros and cons of Costco's private jet rental service, and remember all the bad '90s music. Starring Brian Altano, Scott Bromley, Ryan Scott, Max Scoville, and Kristin Van De Yar.

We resurrect Heathcliff from the dead, celebrate the unintentional comedy of Baywatch, try to figure out a movie worth renting out an entire theater for, name all the dumbest allergies, and engage in that timeless classic pancakes vs. waffles debate. Starring Brian Altano, Scott Bromley, Ryan Scott, Max Scoville, and Kristin Van De Yar.

A heartfelt congratulations to the Denver Broncos for the big electoral win, Jenn and Max Scoville for getting pregnant during the apocalypse, and all those people who are knee-deep in their midlife crisis. Starring Brian Altano, Scott Bromley, Ryan Scott, Max Scoville, and Kristin Van De Yar.

The Denver Broncos sweep 2020 in a surprise election landslide, we try to remember all of our stupidest injuries, Scott talks us through his sweet dance moves, and we all imagine winding up at Denny's at 1:00 AM. Starring Brian Altano, Scott Bromley, Ryan Scott, Max Scoville, and Kristin Van De Yar.

In our 2020 Halloween spook-tacular, Kristin tells terrifying tales of trick-or-treating in Bel Air, Max courts catastrophe by consuming corpse-flavored Skittles, and Ryan concocts chills by donning the many masks of Michael Myers. Starring Brian Altano, Scott Bromley, Ryan Scott, Max Scoville, and Kristin Van De Yar.

Welcome to our ninth birthday skeleton spectacular, where we introduce Tom Bombadil the shock jock, unveil the world's stupidest sound board, recount warm fuzzies from our listeners, and figure out who among us would die first in a real-life bio-dome. Starring Brian Altano, Scott Bromley, Ryan Scott, Max Scoville, and Kristin Van De Yar.

Brian tethers in from his phone to help us recite all the definitions of a Rat King, learn all the fun facts about Donatello, vote on the sexiest fast food mascots, try to forget all the most useless things we've ever memorized, and have our annual conversation about monster cereal. Starring Brian Altano, Scott Bromley, Ryan Scott, Max Scoville, and Kristin Van De Yar.

Guest host Zach Ryan fills in to help us examine the weird logistics of moving during a pandemic, determine what an a-hole looks like, (masterfully) debate just how hands-off we would be willing to get in exchange for time travel, and reboot Highlander for the 21st century. Starring Ryan Scott, Max Scoville, and Kristin Van De Yar, with special guest Zach Ryan.

It's a week of bad legs, bad dates, bad action figures, bad anime superpowers, and a little bit of good advice. Starring Brian Altano, Scott Bromley, Ryan Scott, Max Scoville, and Kristin Van De Yar.

We briefly turn into a video game podcast before getting down in the dirt with patio pounders, Monster Jam, the stupidest things we'd theoretically buy, and the worst McDonald's menu item pitches we can think of. Starring Brian Altano, Scott Bromley, Ryan Scott, Max Scoville, and Kristin Van De Yar.

Our pal Jack DeVries joins in to give us an update on how his 2020 is going, we concept some bad Machinima TV, Scott has a very bad technology day before our ears, and we wrap up by talking about all the weird stuff in our fridge and then imagining what the rules to Australian Rules Football might be. Starring Scott Bromley, Ryan Scott, Max Scoville, and Kristin Van De Yar, with special guest Jack DeVries.

We go down the weirdest Winnie the Pooh philosophical rabbit hole, discuss Ryan's funeral wishes (don't worry -- he hasn't accidentally slipped on any banana peels yet), give you the lowdown on butthole cramps, recount our most embarrassing celebrity encounters, and take Ninja Turtle logic to the next level. Starring Brian Altano, Scott Bromley, Ryan Scott, Max Scoville, and Kristin Van De Yar.

We try to find out what pets are allowed in prison, discuss the oeuvre of Harvey Keitel's junk, and ponder becoming some real shady Christmas tree farmers. Starring Brian Altano, Scott Bromley, Ryan Scott, Max Scoville, and Kristin Van De Yar.

It's a question we've all had during our lives: Collectively speaking, which Hogwarts house would the Comedy Button belong to? This week, at Kristin's insistence, we take the Harry Potter Sorting Hat quiz and find out (and remember, Ryan is definitely Ravenclaw, guys). Starring Brian Altano, Scott Bromley, Ryan Scott, Max Scoville, and Kristin Van De Yar.

We debate the true meaning of the idiotic half-meme we created in last week's episode, dunk on Steve Bannon, go through the whole California disaster checklist, and pontificate on roller coaster bathroom etiquette. Starring Brian Altano, Scott Bromley, Ryan Scott, Max Scoville, and Kristin Van De Yar.

Happy 450th episode to us! To celebrate, Kristin tells us about a really awkward class trip to Europe, we give a chin-stroking review of all the celebrities on Cameo, and -- since we won't be visiting any theaters anytime soon -- we revisit our favorite childhood moviegoing experiences. Starring Brian Altano, Scott Bromley, Ryan Scott, Max Scoville, and Kristin Van De Yar.

Buckle in for some spooky tales of haunted catacomb tours and serial killers, then listen to a bunch of thirty-somethings try to figure out PAW Patrol, explain what ska is, and determine what sorts of dessert islands we'd want to be trapped on. Starring Brian Altano, Ryan Scott, Max Scoville, and Kristin Van De Yar.

Join us as we peek into some very weird new corners of Pornhub, get hyped for the new roaring '20s, and recall all those signature family holiday dishes that we hate. Starring Brian Altano, Scott Bromley, Ryan Scott, Max Scoville, and Kristin Van De Yar.

Somehow-first-time host Scott Bromley delivers the most reductive show intro we've ever done, we try to build the perfect Frankenstein's monster out of the Comedy Button cast, all the worst (and some of the best) restaurants make an appearance, we reboot the Avengers with an all-star wrestler cast, and Brian updates us on his feud with sworn enemy Jonathan Taylor Thomas. Starring Brian Altano, Scott Bromley, Ryan Scott, Max Scoville, and Kristin Van De Yar.

Kristin hung out with James Marsden at GameStop, Steven Seagal is one weird dude, and we somehow have a second conversation about Coyote Ugly in the span of a month. Starring Brian Altano, Scott Bromley, Ryan Scott, Max Scoville, and Kristin Van De Yar.

We ponder the inevitable future TikTok presidency, discover Schrodinger's Representation, remember how warped sex education and anti-drug PSAs got during the '80s, and deliver some of the most amazing Quibi show pitches anyone has ever heard. Starring Brian Altano, Scott Bromley, Ryan Scott, Max Scoville, and Kristin Van De Yar. Here at the Comedy Button, we believe that our current moment in history matters. Find out how to help here: https://blacklivesmatters.carrd.co/

We get to hear Kristin's first impressions of us, vote on the most bangable U.S. President, and recall the time that Big Bird almost exploded. Starring Brian Altano, Scott Bromley, Ryan Scott, Max Scoville, and Kristin Van De Yar. Here at the Comedy Button, we believe that our current moment in history matters. Find out how to help here: https://blacklivesmatters.carrd.co/

We welcome our new regular co-host Kristin Van De Yar, who immediately proceeds to upset our dumb centaur-drawn apple cart with some tips on the finer points of pandemic hair care, ideas on the best way to draw snakes that are yanking each other's ropes, and a debate on the flaws and nonexistent merits of Olive Garden and Applebee's. Starring Brian Altano, Scott Bromley, Ryan Scott, Max Scoville, and Kristin Van De Yar. Here at the Comedy Button, we believe that our current moment in history matters. Find out how to help here: https://blacklivesmatters.carrd.co/

What is charisma? And, more importantly, does Porky Pig have it? Starring Brian Altano, Scott Bromley, Ryan Scott, and Max Scoville. Here at the Comedy Button, we believe that our current moment in history matters. Find out how to help here: https://blacklivesmatters.carrd.co/

We catch up on what Gamer Grub has been up to for the past seven years, learn about a real weird cream soda recipe, and read Amazon reviews of DIY sex toys. Starring Brian Altano, Scott Bromley, Ryan Scott, and Max Scoville. Here at the Comedy Button, we believe that our current moment in history matters. Find out how to help here: https://blacklivesmatters.carrd.co/

We try to make sense of our stupid world, and everything that's going wrong in it right now. Starring Brian Altano, Scott Bromley, Ryan Scott, and Max Scoville. Find out how to help here: https://blacklivesmatters.carrd.co/

Our pal Mike Drucker joins us to have a lively discussion about Steven Spielberg's AI, tell us about what it's like to write for Samantha Bee, and take bets on which Comedy Button host will be the next one to lose their hair. Starring Brian Altano, Scott Bromley, Ryan Scott, and Max Scoville, with special guest Mike Drucker.

Ryan reads fan-requested Urban Dictionary definitions, then we recall our worst car rides and then sail away on a perfect peanut butter boat. Starring Brian Altano, Scott Bromley, Ryan Scott, and Max Scoville.

In the middle of the world's worst ongoing staycation, we imagine what it would like be cooped up with Glenn Danzig, design characters for Cereal: The Fighting Game, and get to the bottom of the stupidest Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles lore we could find. Starring Brian Altano, Ryan Scott, and Max Scoville.

Ryan celebrated his 40th birthday trapped at home with Joe Bob Briggs, Scott is really addicted to Animal Crossing, and we've all developed some increasingly terrible diets. Starring Brian Altano, Scott Bromley, Ryan Scott, and Max Scoville.

Scott's gall bladder is real fussy, we're all getting a lot more time than we bargained for with our significant others, and we've found that pandemic hygiene habits can be very... shall we say "flexible." Starring Brian Altano, Scott Bromley, Ryan Scott, and Max Scoville.

Ryan drinks some real clean soda, Brian is a secret disaster prep expert, our fans demand to know the origin story of Ryan's wizard couch, and we try to imagine what there will be to look forward to when life returns to normal. Starring Brian Altano, Scott Bromley, Ryan Scott, and Max Scoville.

We hang out with our friends (remotely), catch up on all the weird TV, try to figure out what Boris Johnson looks like, panic about our eating habits, and figure out what the most ideal shower food is. Starring Brian Altano, Scott Bromley, Ryan Scott, and Max Scoville.

We still don't know how to record a podcast, everything is still canceled, Wild Wild West still sucks, people still drive like idiots when no one is on the road, and Ryan still eats like a child even as the world burns down. Starring Brian Altano, Scott Bromley, Ryan Scott, and Max Scoville.

We learn about the world's weirdest workout routine, imagine our perfect hairstyles, discuss Ryan's childhood hard-boiled egg obsession, and resurrect all those dumb hoverboard rumors from the '80s. Starring Brian Altano, Scott Bromley, Ryan Scott, and Max Scoville.

It turns out that the world is such a disaster, we've had to record our show remotely for the first (and definitely not last) time. Come join us as we gather together through our computer screens and contemplate the corona apocalypse! Starring Brian Altano, Scott Bromley, Ryan Scott, and Max Scoville.

IT'S THE COVID-19 HOLIDAY SPECTACULAR!!!! Starring Brian Altano, Scott Bromley, Ryan Scott, and Max Scoville.

Scott, Max, and Brian joined by special guest Ryan Scott, who discusses his plans to travel back in time and invent Snapchat and bet on the Super Bowl (even though he doesn't know how either of those things work). And also, the age-old question: Would you eat an owl? Starring Brian Altano, Scott Bromley, Ryan Scott, and Max Scoville.

Scott, Max, and Brian get day drunk to discuss their deepest insecurities, like getting naked in front of other people and how they'll never be able to do sweet skateboard or BMX tricks. Starring Brian Altano, Scott Bromley, and Max Scoville.

Ryan is out, and we had Discord write the show for us, so you know it's gonna be a good time for all the rowdy pigs in the house! Starring Brian Altano, Scott Bromley, and Max Scoville.

Local substitute teacher Jared Petty sits in for Ryan once again, to reveal the truth about George Washington's wooden teeth, tell stories about weird Japanese restaurants, and help us figure out what our Care Bear powers would be. Starring Brian Altano, Scott Bromley, and Max Scoville, with special guest Jared Petty.

Ryan is back to share his Top 10 Police Academy movie list, discuss his nonexistent exercise habits, and demonstrate his strength by breaking Scott's thumb on-air. Starring Brian Altano, Scott Bromley, Ryan Scott, and Max Scoville.

Jared Petty is here to offer his best NPR host impression, talk about how babby is formed, help us with our new foray into procedurally generated ASMR, and discuss old Sierra adventure games without Ryan. Starring Brian Altano, Scott Bromley, and Max Scoville, with special guest Jared Petty.

We debate what foods we'd force each other to give up, guess what all the different horse parts are called, play an impromptu game of "Which Mortal Kombat Character Would you Marry?" and come up with some cool heist codenames. Starring Brian Altano, Scott Bromley, Ryan Scott, and Max Scoville.

Scott injured his ball (again), he loves disgusting Jelly Belly flavors, and he's a real stinky boy. We don't know why we keep putting up with him! Starring Brian Altano, Scott Bromley, and Max Scoville.

Max shares his disgusting fondness for gross anchovies on pizza like a sick dirty man, we all try to remember the last time we ate a frozen TV dinner, and Scott goes just a little bit overboard with arcade game sound effects. Starring Brian Altano, Scott Bromley, Ryan Scott, and Max Scoville.

Journey with us whiz in the world's most hilariously-named lake, check out some front butts, and cool off with a refreshing trenta cinnamon water with extra whip. Starring Brian Altano, Scott Bromley, Ryan Scott, and Max Scoville.

To ring in the new year, we eat packaged Japanese fish that tastes like pizza, and discover when we first knew we were idiots. Starring Brian Altano, Scott Bromley, Ryan Scott, and Max Scoville.

Celebrate the end of the year with a bowl of liquor from our favorite weird bar, enjoy our new show "Will Ryan's Dog Eat More Things Than Ryan?" and learn some true facts about astronauts. Starring Brian Altano, Scott Bromley, Ryan Scott, and Max Scoville.

The interminable year known as "2019" is finally coming to an end, and Max and Brian are drunk in an abandoned conference room at work to tell you about cookie exchanges, getting fat for the holidays, why they think Playmobil is popular in Maine, their love for stupid criminals, how the kid from Flight of the Navigator turned to armed robbery, Lorena Bobbitt, and why you should be careful if you drive a green Hyundai. Starring Brian Altano and Max Scoville.

It's animal week on the Comedy Button: Brian made his family get a Christmas goose, horses wearing flippers are making the Internet great again, and Animorphs can move the heck over to make room for MIDDLEMORPHS! Starring Brian Altano, Scott Bromley, and Max Scoville.

Good news, everyone: 10 years in, we're still the #1 show, in all categories, everywhere. Well, except that Scott's gone and made a TV show, so that may be what finally knocks us down to #2 in the vaunted Star Wars Game Shows podcast category, where we have run unopposed since 1987. Starring Brian Altano, Scott Bromley, and Max Scoville.

It's a Thanksgiving miracle with the Comedy Button! This week, we talk about the worst food we've ever eaten, and all sorts of other goofs, guffaws, and hijinks that will drown out the sounds of your own family gathering! Starring Brian Altano, Scott Bromley, Ryan Scott, and Max Scoville.

Jack DeVries is back once again, and we've all had several wine spritzers. We discuss what our spirit fast food restaurants are, the most embarrassing clothes we wore in middle school, our self-care routines, and Bloodborne. Starring Brian Altano, Ryan Scott, and Max Scoville, with special guest Jack DeVries.

Jack DeVries joins us to discuss the X-Men, the 1997 Kevin Kline film "In and Out," who Kevin Kline is married to in real life, WikiFeet, the WikiFeet gift shop, and our favorite hard AND soft desserts. Starring Brian Altano, Ryan Scott, and Max Scoville, with special guest Jack DeVries.

This week, we're joined by legendary chatterbox and walking almanac Jared Petty, so in lieu of asking him questions, we're just feeding him listener-submitted keywords and seeing what trivia, anecdotes, or confessions he conjures up. Topics include earwax, fireworks, Gashapon machines, and discontinued Planters snack food P.B. Crisp -- the last of which somehow devolves into a dissection of the relevance of Ian Fleming's James Bond novels in the 21st century. Starring Scott Bromley, Ryan Scott, and Max Scoville, with special guest Jared Petty.

On this very special Halloween episode, Jared Petty joins us to talk about our favorite Halloween candy, Easter candy, Christmas candy, perennial non-denominational candy, and delight in our spooky stories -- like the time Scott's dad caught him touching himself while watching Hocus Pocus. Starring Scott Bromley, Ryan Scott, and Max Scoville, with special guest Jared Petty.

Brian has a wardrobe malfunction at a video game event, Max debates the merits of owning chickens, and Ryan is bad at Twitch. Starring Brian Altano, Scott Bromley, Ryan Scott, and Max Scoville.

It's just Max and Scott this week, so they imagine what they would have changed about their early 20s, and debate whether it would be better to eat chocolate-flavored poo or vice versa. Yeah, we get up to some weird nonsense when we're left alone-ish. Starring Scott Bromley and Max Scoville.

Scott's better half, Stacey, joins us for the first time ever. What more could you ask for?! Starring Brian Altano, Scott Bromley, Ryan Scott, and Max Scoville, with special guest Stacey Bromley.

Happy October! This week, we discover that Sunnyvale's former Toys R Us is now a Spirit store, and Geoffrey the Giraffe and his entire family are all dead. Starring Brian Altano, Scott Bromley, Ryan Scott, and Max Scoville.

We figure out the worst way to spend $1600, remember America's first Thanksgiving starring Mark Twain and Benjamin Franklin, and pitch Ryan on romantic dates with the rest of the cast. Starring Brian Altano, Scott Bromley, Ryan Scott, and Max Scoville.

We're joined once again by those foul-mouthed ladies, Kristin Van De Yar and Jenn Scoville. In addition to a rousing debate about hot air balloon etiquette and a fun game show in which we try to do Google's job, we also make good on last week's cliffhanger ending: ranking the top 10 anime hair styles of all time, divulging the secret origins of Jenn's screen name AND the meaning of the word "Weeaboo." Starring Brian Altano and Max Scoville, with special guests Jenn Scoville and Kristin Van De Yar.

Max and Brian went to a German zoo, and Max ripped a real hooter of a fart in the monkey-house, scaring all the primates. Meanwhile, Jenn has a great idea for a western movie, and Kristin reveals her true feelings for Ron Perlman, that rectangular man made entirely of old wallets. Plus: a thrilling cliffhanger ending! Starring Brian Altano and Max Scoville, with special guests Jenn Scoville and Kristin Van De Yar.

Anthony joins us once again to discuss pooping at work, then we dare Ryan to drink horrible sodas. Starring Brian Altano, Scott Bromley, Ryan Scott, and Max Scoville, with special guest Anthony Gallegos.

Our pal Anthony Gallegos is back to celebrate our 400th episode spectacular, and we've got a lot of catching up to do about exactly how many animals he lives with these days. Starring Brian Altano, Scott Bromley, Ryan Scott, and Max Scoville, with special guest Anthony Gallegos.

Guten tag! Hallo und willkommen auf der Comedy-Schaltflache! We sure hope Google Translate got that right. It's the Comedy Button, all the way from Cologne, Germany -- where Brian and Max are off playing video games and eating various sausages for a week. We're international, baby! Starring Brian Altano and Max Scoville.

Special guests Brandon Hunt and Eric Sapp join us to talk about their new project, HVYSTRK, and discuss "content" creation, growing up on the Internet, memes, Evangelion, Midsommar, and Tubgirl, among other things. Starring Brian Altano, Scott Bromley, and Max Scoville, with special guests Brandon Hunt and Eric Sapp.

We ponder the Cheeto chicken sammich, recall the craziest things we've seen at San Diego Comic-Con, and solve the unsolved mysteries of the macabre. Starring Brian Altano, Scott Bromley, and Max Scoville.

We debate the merits of Where's Waldo, animal dildos, and whether we'd rather have all food look or taste like chicken fingers. Starring Brian Altano, Scott Bromley, Ryan Scott, and Max Scoville.

Does Ryan work from home naked? Does Batman really smell during the holidays? Did Brian's trip to the zoo with his daughter wind up as stupid as the time when he went with the rest of us? Starring Brian Altano, Scott Bromley, Ryan Scott, and Max Scoville.

We sure miss the good old day of video game journalism and porn stars. Oh, and Max went to Hawaii. Insert joke here about getting lei'd, or something! Starring Brian Altano, Scott Bromley, Ryan Scott, and Max Scoville.

Buckle up for a little something we call Max and Brian's Excellent Florida Alligator Adventure! Starring Brian Altano, Scott Bromley, Ryan Scott, and Max Scoville. Be sure to check out Brian and Max's rad alligator video over at IGN, made possible by the talented Christopher Gillette and Gabby Nikolle (and you can subscribe to their YouTube channel as well, for all kinds of other awesome animal stuff).

Jared tells us about his vision quest to Hawaii, Ryan tells us about his (possibly only) trip to the ocean, and Brian tells us about the hottest new energy drink of 2019. Starring Brian Altano, Scott Bromley, and Ryan Scott, with special guest Jared Petty.

Guest host Jared Petty returns to reminisce about making weird soda cocktails, help us figure out WTF is up with Applebee's, and play a quick round of "Which Person Would You Eat?" Starring Brian Altano, Scott Bromley, and Ryan Scott, with special guest Jared Petty.

Scott and Ryan are home alone! You know what that means: candy dinner, Disney karaoke, swapping stories about our wives, talking about weird dumb movies, and doing only the easy chores. Starring Scott Bromley and Ryan Scott.

Can you tell the difference between an actual rhino birth and Ace Ventura coming out of its butt? And if so, can you explain it to us? Starring Brian Altano, Scott Bromley, and Max Scoville.

Welcome to phase 1 of the Macho Man Slim Jim Cinematic Universe. Starring Brian Altano, Scott Bromley, and Max Scoville.

We discover the perfect director for our upcoming cinematic universe, ponder all the gross stuff we've probably eaten at restaurants, and consider -- in pretty careful detail -- what it would take to make the realest-looking fake Cinnabon with stuff we found at Home Depot. Starring Brian Altano, Scott Bromley, Ryan Scott, and Max Scoville.

Max and Brian managed to find the weirdest bathroom in all of San Francisco. Starring Brian Altano, Scott Bromley, Ryan Scott, and Max Scoville.

Ladies and gentlemen, please welcome Emmy Award-winning writer/producer Scott Bromley! Starring Brian Altano, Scott Bromley, Ryan Scott, and Max Scoville.

It's time to talk about Danzig for like six hours straight, then design our own custom Ninja Turtle pizzas and ponder millennial midlife crises. Starring Brian Altano, Scott Bromley, and Max Scoville, with special guest Brandon Hunt.

We debate the nuances of the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles' characterization, remember our backyard funerals for our fallen G.I. Joes, and analyze to what extent Playmobil has lost its mind. Starring Brian Altano, Scott Bromley, and Max Scoville, with special guest Brandon Hunt.

Ryan tells us about his dad's wedding, Scott shares life hacks for San Francisco weed delivery services, Brian discovers how good Chicago's cuisine is, and we all make fun of each other's recent Amazon purchase history. Starring Brian Altano, Scott Bromley, and Ryan Scott.

Special guest Lucy O'Brien teaches us about New Zealand, and Wikihow teaches us how to do sex things. Starring Brian Altano, Scott Bromley, and Max Scoville, with special guest Lucy O'Brien.

Kristin Van De Yar is back again this week to drop a bombshell on us: She was a Sega kid. Everything makes sense now! Starring Brian Altano, Scott Bromley, and Max Scoville, with special guest Kristin Van De Yar.

Kristin Van De Yar returns to share her thoughts on Lucky Charms, posterior entertainment, Tinder, and nonsense foods. Starring Brian Altano, Scott Bromley, and Max Scoville, with special guest Kristin Van De Yar.

Grocery Outlet is gross, the Mythbusters are wrecking homes, and we make some difficult choices about what food we'd want to be stuck with for an entire year. Starring Brian Altano, Scott Bromley, and Max Scoville.

Max and Brian do their best to explain the mysteries of the urinal to Jenn. Other topics include the Amish, how to spend a million bucks like an idiot, and true horror stories of public embarrassment. Starring Brian Altano and Max Scoville, with special guest Jenn Scoville.

Since Ryan isn't here to babble endlessly about the Suicide Squad, we take the opportunity to describe our dream superhero movies. Starring Brian Altano, Scott Bromley, and Max Scoville.

For your listening pleasure, we present the world's most authoritative and expertly curated collection of Hamburglar lore. Starring Brian Altano, Scott Bromley, Ryan Scott, and Max Scoville.

We reveal our carefully-thought-out fan cast for a Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles reboot, hear horror stories about Scott's vacation to a nudist colony, and learn that Ryan has no idea about what a child's birthday party should entail. Starring Brian Altano, Scott Bromley, Ryan Scott, and Max Scoville.

We learned more than we bargained for about Max's weird back hair, which is equal parts "werewolf ass" and "police sketch artist's rendition of Satan." Starring Brian Altano, Scott Bromley, Ryan Scott, and Max Scoville.

All hail Jared Petty, King of Ropes! Starring Brian Altano, Scott Bromley, and Ryan Scott, with special guest Jared Petty.

It's poopin' day at Scott's house, and guest host Jared Petty is here for the festivities. Starring Brian Altano, Scott Bromley, and Ryan Scott, with special guest Jared Petty.

The Comedy Button: Your most trusted source for the worst smells on Earth. Starring Brian Altano, Scott Bromley, Ryan Scott, and Max Scoville.

7-Eleven doesn't have a mascot, so we made up a cool werewolf for them. Starring Brian Altano, Scott Bromley, Ryan Scott, and Max Scoville.

We reminisce about our favorite school lunches, quiz Ryan about exactly what the hell a Dungeon Master is, and try to figure out who bought all of the saddest toys at Kay Bee. Starring Brian Altano, Scott Bromley, Ryan Scott, and Max Scoville.

Which one of us paid a visit to Ikea on Christmas Eve? Has Scott had relations with his weird sex egg yet? And could Ryan get here in the time that it would take us to fly to Texas and back? Starring Brian Altano, Scott Bromley, and Max Scoville.

Wow, 2019 sure is amazing, isn't it? Starring Brian Altano, Scott Bromley, and Max Scoville.

In our best post-Christmas Christmas episode ever, we can't figure out why people eat candy canes, Ryan doesn't have a clue what cream soda tastes like, and we've got some questions about Santa Claus. Starring Brian Altano, Scott Bromley, Ryan Scott, and Max Scoville.

We're pretty sure criminals have ruined ski masks for everyone else, forever. Starring Brian Altano, Scott Bromley, Ryan Scott, and Max Scoville.

We're here to tell tales from the Caramel Tasting Festival, give you some tips for dealing with stress, and figure out what kind of shoe we'd most like to be. Starring Brian Altano, Scott Bromley, and Max Scoville.

We're cooking with SPORTS, baby. Starring Brian Altano, Scott Bromley, Ryan Scott, and Max Scoville.

Ryan lives his entire life like the "BUT THERE MUST BE A BETTER WAY!" guy in the first 10 seconds of every infomercial. Starring Brian Altano, Scott Bromley, Ryan Scott, and Max Scoville.

Max and Jenn regale us with stories of their Japanese honeymoon, where they discovered weird sex corners in every store, fought deer, and visited an amusement park. Starring Scott Bromley, Ryan Scott, and Max Scoville, with special guests Jenn Scoville and Kristin Van De Yar.

In this episode, we all ponder the stupid ways that we want to die, and also what should be written on our tombstones. Starring Brian Altano, Scott Bromley, Ryan Scott, and Max Scoville.

Best He-Man character? Worst superpower? Least bad James Bond? We tackle 2018's key issues. Starring Scott Bromley, Ryan Scott, and Max Scoville, with special guest Jack DeVries.

It's our November after-Halloween spooktacular, with guest host Jack DeVries on-hand to talk candy mascots and help us figure out which movie monsters are the best at bangin' out. Starring Scott Bromley, Ryan Scott, and Max Scoville, with special guest Jack DeVries.

Sbarro sucks, Large Marge is (still) terrifying, and Scott can definitely be bribed to let himself be attacked by birds for an entire night. Starring Brian Altano, Scott Bromley, Ryan Scott, and Max Scoville.

In this episode, we learn some fascinating facts about Taco Bell, edible panties, Amazin' Fruit, and the time that Brian got so excited for Home Alone 2 that he broke a window. Starring Brian Altano, Scott Bromley, Ryan Scott, and Max Scoville.

Welcome to the Comedy Button, a podcast full of old people who go to sad dad rock shows, get migraines all the time, and remember when prank phone calls were a thing. Starring Brian Altano, Scott Bromley, Ryan Scott, and Max Scoville.

Where in the world is Ryan Scott? Who knows -- but let's talk about fake streaming services, how dumb we were in our 20s, and what drives a person to hang out at Denny's for 24 hours. Starring Brian Altano, Scott Bromley, and Max Scoville.

Hey, Anthony's back for a totally rat-ical guest appearance! Since we last saw our old partner in crime, he got hitched, got some rats, lost some rats, got some other rats, got a catheter for one of those rats, and got a how-to book for being a rat doctor. You might say he's now the rat king. Starring Brian Altano, Scott Bromley, Ryan Scott, and Max Scoville, with special guest Anthony Gallegos.

It's time for our annual Comedy Button Awards, honoring the best movies of 1995. Also, we make fun of Rip Torn, and nerd out about prank call albums. Starring Brian Altano, Scott Bromley, Ryan Scott, and Max Scoville.

For our 350th episode extravaganza, we fight sea creatures, play a fun game of "Would You Fellate Cthulhu?," and wince in pain as Ryan attempts to explain how he would plan our birthday parties. Starring Brian Altano, Scott Bromley, Ryan Scott, and Max Scoville.

An oral history of Lunchables, as told by the Comedy Button. Starring Brian Altano, Scott Bromley, Ryan Scott, and Max Scoville.

Ryan is back from his month-long exile to the chicken nugget factory, just in time to answer life's difficult questions about Ninja Turtles tattoos. Starring Brian Altano, Scott Bromley, Ryan Scott, and Max Scoville.

Greetings from the RAM RANCH! Starring Brian Altano, Scott Bromley, and Max Scoville, with special guest Jenn Scoville.

Mrs. Scoville herself joins us to reflect on the big wedding day. Starring Brian Altano, Scott Bromley, and Max Scoville, with special guest Jenn Scoville.

We have a record TWO WOMEN on our dumb idiot podcast this week, so of course we have to talk to them about Ninja Turtles and werewolves. Starring Brian Altano and Max Scoville, with special guests Jenn Scoville and Kristin Van De Yar.

This week, we figured it would be a good idea to design a tattoo for Ryan, figure out how to get him to eat weird exotic food, and stoke the fire of his eternal war with "film critic" Harry Knowles. Starring Brian Altano, Scott Bromley, Ryan Scott, and Max Scoville.

Who got the final rose at Max Scoville's The Bachelor party? Turns out, it was booze and Saturday morning cartoons. Starring Brian Altano, Scott Bromley, and Max Scoville.

Let's give it up to Spider-Man for starring in one of the best and worst games ever created by human beings on planet Earth. Starring Brian Altano, Scott Bromley, Ryan Scott, and Max Scoville.

Look out, Roger Federer -- secret tennis expert Ryan Scott is coming to take your job and all your sponsorships. Starring Brian Altano, Scott Bromley, Ryan Scott, and Max Scoville.

We've got some awesomely stupid plans for Max's bachelor party (and some even stupider ones that we ultimately didn't go with!). Starring Brian Altano, Scott Bromley, Ryan Scott, and Max Scoville.

This week, Brian gets a good, healthy head start on embarrassing his daughter in front of all her school friends, with the story of her birth. Also: BRIAN'S A DAD NOW! How crazy is that!? Starring Brian Altano, Scott Bromley, Ryan Scott, and Max Scoville.

We've got some hot takes on Hot Topic, Brian cherishes his final pre-fatherhood moments, and we debate which cereal mascots are the most bangable. Starring Brian Altano, Scott Bromley, and Max Scoville.

April is back this week to dish on Ryan's love affair with NCIS, and work out the mystery of her father-in-law's inability to understand how to order food at Chipotle. Starring Brian Altano, Scott Bromley, Ryan Scott, and Max Scoville, with special guest April Gibson.

Scientists found a dinosaur, a TV network found a conscience, and we found more Taft facts. Starring Brian Altano, Scott Bromley, and Max Scoville.

Have we ever missed a flight? How does Ryan feel about corn? Have any of us ever had an animal attached to our genitals? Who thought square pizza was a good idea? Would we eat a pizza shaped like America? We attempt to answer some of these questions, among others. Starring Brian Altano, Ryan Scott, and Max Scoville.

This week, the love of Ryan's life joins us to corroborate the fact that he is a terrible cook, shed some light on their home life, and recount a near-fatal brush with an angry school of Swedish Fish. Starring Brian Altano, Scott Bromley, Ryan Scott, and Max Scoville, with special guest April Gibson.

We bet you we can guess the plot of a stupid talking animal movie from the '80s, just from looking at the poster. BONUS SEGMENT: essential Old West train robbery tips, from local expert Jared Petty! Starring Brian Altano, Scott Bromley, and Ryan Scott, with special guest Jared Petty.

This week, we answer one of the most awful hypothetical questions that's even been posed to this show. Starring Scott Bromley and Max Scoville, with special guest Jack DeVries.

We're joined once again by our old friend Jack to discuss awful lurid things like looking at porn, hiding porn, our favorite porn, porn pet peeves, and if we'll ever be embarrassed by stuff we talk about on this show (like porn). This is what happens when we crowdsource topics from our horrible Facebook group. Starring Scott Bromley and Max Scoville, with special guest Jack DeVries.

Our pal Seth Macy gives us the inside scoop on living in Maine: The Stephen King State, the eldritch horror of relaxing island life, running a fake news site, and why he paid $600 to watch Paul Blart: Mall Cop 2 in theaters. Starring Brian Altano, Scott Bromley, Ryan Scott, and Max Scoville, with special guest Seth Macy.

This week, we discuss the sexiest movies of all time according to clickbait robots, awful reality shows, guilty pleasures, problematic faves, and dogs. Look, we let Ryan host again, so it's a big mess. Starring Brian Altano, Scott Bromley, Ryan Scott, and Max Scoville, with special guest Kristin Van De Yar.

Our pal Kristin joins us once again to regale us with sordid tales of finding love in Left 4 Dead, awful public transportation encounters, an unforgettable Harry Potter bathroom break, and much more. Starring Brian Altano, Scott Bromley, Ryan Scott, and Max Scoville, with special guest Kristin Van De Yar.

Someone let Ryan host again, and you all know what that means: utter nonsense. Join us as we create a wizard's scroll, realize that early writing sounded more like pornsite comments, and discuss the finer points of collecting vs. hoarding. Starring Brian Altano, Ryan Scott, and Max Scoville, with special guest Brandon Hunt.

Guest host Brandon Hunt shows us just how far one dedicated fan will go to hear the director's commentary for the '90s Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles film. Starring Brian Altano, Ryan Scott, and Max Scoville, with special guest Brandon Hunt.

Ryan managed to move somewhere even more boring than Sunnyvale, and he even watches Jeopardy every night, like the old man that he (not-so-) secretly is. Starring Brian Altano, Scott Bromley, Ryan Scott, and Max Scoville.

Scott and Ryan cozy up in an intimate one-on-one episode, to talk about cool samurai movies and Wikipedia secrets. Starring Scott Bromley and Ryan Scott.

Brian has learned a terrifying, brain-scarring new truth about horses. Also, Ryan becomes God for a minute, and creates the world's most horrific nightmare animal (and we want your fan art). Starring Brian Altano, Scott Bromley, and Ryan Scott.

What interesting life statistic would we want to know when we die? We're science boys today, everyone! Starring Brian Altano, Scott Bromley, Ryan Scott, and Max Scoville.

We have a serious talk about mental health, and a somehow equally serious talk about how many circus peanuts would kill a person. We swear that the former has nothing to do with the latter. Starring Brian Altano, Scott Bromley, Ryan Scott, and Max Scoville, with special guest Jared Petty.

One of us is finally becoming a father -- and he's never been more terrified. Starring Brian Altano, Scott Bromley, Ryan Scott, and Max Scoville.

Do all those those farm animals really believe they can get away with their hate crimes and loitering? Not if Cowlumbo the Cow Detective has anything to say about it. Starring Brian Altano, Scott Bromley, Ryan Scott, and Max Scoville.

Which one of us had a kids' birthday party in his 30s (hint: It's not who you think)? What are the worst (and best!) ice cream flavors? What is the dumbest pop culture monster? What's the tallest animal that a man can pee over? We only ask the hard questions here. Starring Brian Altano, Scott Bromley, Ryan Scott, and Max Scoville.

This week, we have some adventures in FOOOOOOOOOOOOD! Except for Ryan, because he orders Subway sandwiches like he's Jeffrey Dahmer. Dude needs to have his head checked. Starring Brian Altano, Scott Bromley, Ryan Scott, and Max Scoville.

You know who's better than everyone at everything? Kevin frickin' McCallister. Starring Brian Altano, Scott Bromley, Ryan Scott, and Max Scoville.

It's hard to lose someone you love -- and believe us, we know. Starring Brian Altano, Scott Bromley, Ryan Scott, and Max Scoville.

Why are boobs weird (according to a woman)? What constitutes a god-tier pangus? And what should you shave before visiting a Japanese spa? Let's get this year off to a properly dumb start! Starring Brian Altano, Scott Bromley, and Max Scoville, with special guest Kristin Van De Yar.

Get ready for Hollywood's next big thing: the Cereal Mascot Cinematic Universe. The Trix Rabbit. Captain Crunch. Count Chocula. That dumbass Honey Nut Cheerios Bee. That shrieking vermin that's always always after the Honeycomb. Wendell the Baker. All your favorites, together, on the big screen, at last. The Comedy Button (this episode, anyway) is Brian Altano and Max Scoville, drunk in a hotel room in Anaheim. (We apologize in advance for the unusually crummy audio quality; it's the end of the year and we're out of brain power.)

Our awesome guest host, Kristin Van De Yar, is a true worldwide phenomenon. Also, we've discovered the most awesome life hack for getting out of jury duty: Just commit a crime, and you're home free forever. Take THAT, civic duty! Starring Brian Altano, Scott Bromley, and Max Scoville, with special guest Kristin Van De Yar.

Is it possible to record the world's longest, stupidest outro to a dumb Internet radio show? Well, we certainly did give it a shot. Starring Brian Altano, Scott Bromley, Ryan Scott, and Max Scoville.

YouTube creator and talent manager John Carle used to write for the WWE -- and boy, does he have some crazy tales for us. Starring Brian Altano, Scott Bromley, Ryan Scott, and Max Scoville, with special guest John Carle.

One of our favorite guest hosts, Jared Petty, joins us to ponder Goofy's questionable dog-hood and discuss everybody's favorite dumb fantasy story, THE LOOOOORD OF THE RIIIIIINGS. Starring Brian Altano, Scott Bromley, and Max Scoville, with special guest Jared Petty.

It's Thanksgiving with the Comedy Button -- which obviously means it's time to hide from your family and listen to us talk about Easter baskets, Nick at Nite, Ace Ventura, and the worst flavor of Skittles. Yep, happy holidays! Starring Brian Altano, Scott Bromley, and Max Scoville.

We dig into the wild and crazy mind of guest host Jared Petty, learn all about his weird surprise allergies, and and then talk about the legacy of the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles. In other words: Just another week! Starring Brian Altano, Scott Bromley, and Max Scoville, with special guest Jared Petty.

Seasonal Affective Disorder is a serious disorder that affects millions of people every season, but we've got a great solution for coping with it: going out in the woods and hiding porno for future generations of perverts to discover. Or, you could just listen to our idiotic podcast for degenerates. We're sorry. Starring Brian Altano, Scott Bromley, Ryan Scott, and Max Scoville.

We're apparently very hungry boys, because this episode is all about hot dogs, pretzels, pizza, nacho cheese, soda, and Tootsie Roll Pops. Of course, we also find time to discuss the Mighty Ducks, strip clubs, owls, and punching holes in our bedroom walls as teenagers. Starring Brian Altano, Ryan Scott, and Max Scoville.

Welcome to the Comedy Button's Halloween Thanksgiving Special -- a cornucopia of spooky facts about mummies, meatballs, and celebrity spelunking. Starring Brian Altano, Scott Bromley, and Max Scoville.

We've got the lowdown on career Renaissance faire yeomen (and #yeowomen), and what could happen if they ever enact stricter gun control laws on whatever planet the Predator came from. Starring Brian Altano, Ryan Scott, and Max Scoville.

Get ready for a critical, chin-stroking discussion about our very favorite warning label: that wacky cartoon staple, the skull-and-crossbones. Starring Brian Altano, Scott Bromley, Ryan Scott, and Max Scoville.

Introducing Starchy, the world's #1 potato super-fan, and Al'ekz J'on'zz of the River Folk, the star of Middle-earth: Shadow of Infowars. Starring Scott Bromley, Ryan Scott, and Max Scoville, with special guest Marty Sliva.

It's our landmark 300th episode! What better way to celebrate this milestone than reminiscing about the world's first podcast circa 1910, wondering what our pets think of our poops, and trying to figure out exactly WTF a goulash even is. In other words, we're awful at celebrating milestones. Starring Brian Altano, Scott Bromley, Ryan Scott, and Max Scoville.

This week, we discuss the three founding founders of modern comedy: Pauly Shore, Adam Sandler, and Ed (that fictional baseball-playing monkey from that movie with Matt LeBlanc). We also talk about quicksand, silo explosions, Pecos Bill, popcorn, pizza conventions, action figures, and which form of transportation we'd live in. Starring Brian Altano, Scott Bromley, and Max Scoville. In loving memory of Ryan Scott, another tragic victim of quicksand.

We don't know much about babies, but we definitely know a lot about terrible restaurants and dumb cereal box prizes. Starring Brian Altano, Scott Bromley, Ryan Scott, and Max Scoville.

Scott went to Michigan again, and... well, Michigan still sucks, everybody. Starring Brian Altano, Scott Bromley, and Max Scoville.

What do you do when you're in Germany? Well, if you're Brian Altano, you visit a haunted puppet shop and bring your friends a loot crate filled with garbage. Starring Brian Altano, Scott Bromley, and Max Scoville.

In what is clearly our best episode ever, Ryan hijacks show-hosting duties to explain how he and his father were jointly unable to figure out how a microwave works. Starring Brian Altano, Scott Bromley, Ryan Scott, and Max Scoville.

For your consideration, we present "Ryan Orders Room Service: A Short Play." Starring Brian Altano, Scott Bromley, Ryan Scott, and Max Scoville.

Our pal Jack DeVries joins us to answer what is by far the weirdest and darkest dating question we've ever considered. Welcome to the HORROR BUTTON. Starring Brian Altano, Scott Bromley, and Max Scoville, with special guest Jack DeVries.

Marty Sliva tells us what it's like to be a pub trivia master, and bonds with Ryan over their shared useless knowledge of the Saw film series. Starring Brian Altano, Scott Bromley, and Ryan Scott, with special guest Marty Sliva.

Welcome to the Comedy Button... now co-hosted by an Emmy award-nominated producer! One more item off the bucket list. Starring Brian Altano, Scott Bromley, and Ryan Scott, with special guest Marty Sliva.

Facebook is a bunch of spam bots, the Internet is full of clickbait, and computers ruin everything. Now listen to our podcast about dumb dishes and stupid awful food. Starring Brian Altano, Scott Bromley, Ryan Scott, and Max Scoville.

Don't do drugs, kids -- otherwise you'll find yourselves in conversations about Goosebumps, dank memes, Zelda sex toys, and pineapple pangus. Starring Brian Altano, Scott Bromley, Ryan Scott, and Max Scoville.

Anthony Gallegos returns! Our old friend's been dealing in shady second-hand motorcycles, nursing a growing collection of pests, and gearing up to participate in a medical study where he gets pumped full of drugs for money. Some things never change. Starring Brian Altano, Scott Bromley, Ryan Scott, and Max Scoville, with special guest Anthony Gallegos.

Our pal Jared Petty stops by to tell us about some super-bodacious skeletons and siiiiiiiiick Trapper Keeper designs. Starring Brian Altano, Scott Bromley, Ryan Scott, and Max Scoville, with special guest Jared Petty.

We get all sexy with our ASCII skills, and Brian tells us about his latest weird trip to Japan. Starring Brian Altano, Scott Bromley, Ryan Scott, and Max Scoville.

Little-known fact: 1705 was a great year. We wouldn't believe it either, if we hadn't just made that up. Starring Brian Altano, Scott Bromley, Ryan Scott, and Max Scoville.

Marty Sliva is here to help us figure out whether Limp Bizkit vocalist Fred Durst was cool, and reminisce about our favorite fictional portrayals of that hilarious go-to comedy bit, depression. Starring Brian Altano, Scott Bromley, Ryan Scott, and Max Scoville with special guest Marty Sliva.

We're sick of all those old, stale, crusty mom jokes... so we've got some real, real good dad jokes for you instead. Starring Brian Altano, Scott Bromley, Ryan Scott, and Max Scoville.

This week, we join in on the adventures of the world's most oblivious farmer/zookeeper, and stuff some old dusty mummies in some loot crates. Starring Brian Altano, Scott Bromley, Ryan Scott, and Max Scoville.

Brian becomes our resident astronomer, Ryan shares his favorite peanut butter recipes, and Scott reminisces about how incredibly lawsuit-prone the Jelly Belly Factory used to be. Starring Brian Altano, Scott Bromley, Ryan Scott, and Max Scoville.

Let's go to Disney World, get drunk at Epcot Center, and laugh at alligators (AKA nature's car accidents). Starring Brian Altano, Scott Bromley, and Max Scoville, with special guest Jack DeVries.

Want to indulge in exotic eateries, and dine on strange and unusual offerings of the fast food gods? Just get in your car and drive, like, an hour, dude. These are the weird and bizarre fast food restaurants we've been to... and want to go to. Starring Brian Altano, Scott Bromley, Ryan Scott, and Max Scoville.

Local Animorphs expert Jack DeVries stops by to chat about his leaked noodz and weird upcoming Australian furry gathering. Starring Brian Altano, Scott Bromley, and Max Scoville, with special guest Jack DeVries.

It's pet week here at the Comedy Button -- where Brian has a close encounter with a real-life Double Dragon character's dog, Ryan shares his future animal jail's floor plans, and we wonder if snakes are tax deductible for business purposes. Starring Brian Altano, Scott Bromley, Ryan Scott, and Max Scoville.

Nick Robinson joins us once again to tell us the secrets of running an underground DDR club and how arcades rules the world. Starring Brian Altano, Scott Bromley, and Max Scoville, with special guest Nick Robinson.

How much does it cost to buy the world's largest Cheeto? What's the best celebrity voice and animal combination? And why does anyone still love Sonic the Hedgehog? Nobody asked these questions, but you're damn sure we have the answers anyway. Starring Brian Altano, Scott Bromley, and Max Scoville, with special guest Nick Robinson.

Some things change, and some things never do. Like all the swears. Boy, do we like all that cussing. Starring Brian Altano, Scott Bromley, Ryan Scott, and Max Scoville.

Real-life pro chef Andy Lunique is on hand to teach Ryan... nothing. Absolutely nothing. It's hopeless. Starring Brian Altano, Scott Bromley, Ryan Scott, and Max Scoville, with special guest Andy Lunique.

We don't know what dating is like, since we're all old and married... but our favorite cool sitcom character Zach Ryan is here to educate us. Starring Brian Altano, Scott Bromley, and Max Scoville, with special guest Zach Ryan.

Anthony Carboni drops by for a Snakequake update, Andi Gutierrez reflects on handling social media for major brands, and we debate whether we'd rather spend the night on an inflatable mattress or inside a haunted school bus. Starring Brian Altano, Scott Bromley, Ryan Scott, and Max Scoville, with special guests Anthony Carboni and Andi Gutierrez.

The always-positive Jared Petty joins us once again to reminisce about the random grab-bag of treasures that was the physical video rental store. Starring Brian Altano, Scott Bromley, Ryan Scott, and Max Scoville, with special guest Jared Petty.

Our pal Marty Sliva definitely has some first-hand experience with a particular kind of snake on a plane. Starring Brian Altano, Scott Bromley, Ryan Scott, and Max Scoville, with special guest Marty Sliva.

Our wonderful friend Jared Petty drops by to share his unbridled optimism in the midst of this stupid, broken world. Also: Horses are scary, body-switching comedies are cool, and circus peanuts suck. Starring Brian Altano, Scott Bromley, Ryan Scott, and Max Scoville, with special guest Jared Petty.

Our pal Mike Drucker drops by to talk about buying games drunk, all the stupid dumb politics, and writing science stuff for Bill Nye. Starring Brian Altano, Scott Bromley, and Max Scoville, with special guest Mike Drucker.

It's time for some fashion tips with the Comedy Button! We're here to tell you what hat goes best with your crushing insecurity, the one time that you don't look fully stupid in shorts, and how many Internet tutorials it takes to tie a tie. Starring Brian Altano, Scott Bromley, Ryan Scott, and Max Scoville, with special guest Marty Sliva.

Don't look behind the curtain of the fun things that you enjoy, unless you want to be scarred for life like us! Starring Brian Altano, Scott Bromley, Ryan Scott, and Max Scoville.

Fun fact: Even the most awful and idiotic creations on Earth can, against all rational odds, garner at least a few fans. Yes, that's right... some of us really liked GoBots when we were young and stupid. Starring Brian Altano, Scott Bromley, Ryan Scott, and Max Scoville.

It's just another week at the Comedy Button... which means we're counting down our favorite Kevin James movies (spoiler: it's none of them), being haunted by the ghost of Luther Vandross, and coming up with much better names for all the Lion King characters. Starring Brian Altano, Scott Bromley, Ryan Scott, and Max Scoville.

Guess which number is higher: The number of bad movies we forced our parents to take us to see as kids, or the number of food items that Ryan has successfully made during his three-and-some-change decades on planet Earth. Starring Brian Altano, Scott Bromley, Ryan Scott, and Max Scoville.

It's our five-year (OK, TECHNICALLY five-year and 2.5-month, give us a break) anniversary special, and we've put together a selection of the podcast's most hilarious stories for some of our favorite guests. Have a laugh at some of our best moments... or, if you're new around here, this is an awesome sampling of what you've been missing. Starring Brian Altano, Scott Bromley, Ryan Scott, and Max Scoville, with special guests Anthony Carboni, Jack DeVries, Mike Drucker, Mitch Dyer, Andrew Goldfarb, Ryan McCaffrey, Greg Miller, Colin Moriarty, Jared Petty, Zach Ryan, Dan Ryckert, Adam Sessler, Marty Sliva, and Jackie Talbott.

The Winter Bear is here to help you ring in the holidays! Time for some festive manscaping, dumb '90s toys, and some of the the worst trading cards ever brought to market. Starring Brian Altano, Scott Bromley, Ryan Scott, and Max Scoville.

Max gets something off his chest -- literally. Starring Brian Altano, Scott Bromley, Ryan Scott, and Max Scoville.

In true kidult fashion, Max had his big 30th birthday party in fabulous Las Vegas, and it was... pretty much the most depressing thing ever. Starring Brian Altano, Scott Bromley, Ryan Scott, and Max Scoville.

Marty Sliva guest-hosts to help us figure out the science of ghost-busting. And, yes, given the show that you're listening to, "ghost-busting" means exactly what you think it means. Starring Brian Altano, Scott Bromley, and Ryan Scott, with special guest Marty Sliva.

Forties: How do they work? Gin: Satan's gasoline? Fast food: What are our top fives? Yep, we only ask the hard questions here. Starring Brian Altano, Scott Bromley, and Max Scoville, with special guests Jared Petty and Dan Ryckert.

We have some hot cuck theories to share, you guys. Also, breaking news: You probably shouldn't use that word, because it turns out that only the most awful people use it. Starring Brian Altano, Scott Bromley, and Ryan Scott, with special guest Marty Sliva.

This week, we envision a futuristic theme park where racists can act out their most ignorant fantasies, discuss Max and Brian's trip to New York, suggest healthy recipes for an ogre diet, and do possibly the world's worst impression of Jon Voight. Starring Brian Altano, Scott Bromley, Ryan Scott, and Max Scoville.

Who's your favorite tennis player? Ours is Anaconda Kournikova. Starring Brian Altano, Scott Bromley, Ryan Scott, and Max Scoville.

What's our favorite Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles porn? Were the Gobots really that bad? Who would play us in a Comedy Button movie? What were the best USA Network shows, BESIDES Burn Notice? Yes, these are the burning questions. Starring Brian Altano, Scott Bromley, Ryan Scott, and Max Scoville.

Hey, pro tip for life: DON'T HAVE A WEDDING ON A HOLIDAY WEEKEND. We promise, your friends and family definitely don't like you that much. Starring Brian Altano, Scott Bromley, Ryan Scott, and Max Scoville.

What would our last meal on death row be? You should definitely know better than to ask us a question like that. Starring Brian Altano, Scott Bromley, Ryan Scott, and Max Scoville.

It's our quarter-millennium milestone -- and the end of an era, as our pal Anthony rides off into the sunset. It'll be OK, we promise! Starring Brian Altano, Scott Bromley, Anthony Gallegos, Ryan Scott, and Max Scoville.

Turns out, cereal monsters are the stupidest kinds of monsters, because they don't make any god damned sense. Starring Brian Altano, Scott Bromley, Anthony Gallegos, Ryan Scott, and Max Scoville.

Good news, everyone: Scott inadvertently figured out how to troll jukebox-equipped bars across the United States, from the comfort of your own homes. Starring Brian Altano, Scott Bromley, Anthony Gallegos, Ryan Scott, and Max Scoville.

These idiots all think that they can replace Ryan Scott with a Ryan Scott sound board, but YOU CAN'T REPLACE RYAN SCOTT! After all, who would write these episode descriptions? Starring Brian Altano, Scott Bromley, Anthony Gallegos, and Max Scoville.

We get intimate with our old pal Applejack, find some creative uses for a kangaroo pouch, debate the world's scariest cereal mascot, and learn all about Max's experience as a schoolyard witch. Starring Brian Altano, Scott Bromley, Ryan Scott, and Max Scoville.

Guest hosts Andrew Goldfarb and Zach Ryan sit in to tell us about the European vacation they went on with Brian. Starring Brian Altano, Scott Bromley, Anthony Gallegos, and Max Scoville, with special guests Andrew Goldfarb and Zach Ryan.

Get ready for our hot new sitcom, "Curiosity: The Mars Robot." Or maybe "Mars: The Curiosity Robot." We don't actually know how TV works. Starring Brian Altano, Scott Bromley, Anthony Gallegos, Ryan Scott, and Max Scoville.

Max adopts a blind goose, Brian encounters a street terrorist armed with Red Bull, and Anthony shares his favorite meal to beat the summer heat: a nice hot bowl of soup. Starring Brian Altano, Scott Bromley, Anthony Gallegos, Ryan Scott, and Max Scoville.

Guest host and celebrity ghost Vincent Price briefly joins us, as Scott recalls his whirlwind tour across Europe and picks a fight with Australia. Starring Brian Altano, Scott Bromley, Anthony Gallegos, Ryan Scott, and Max Scoville.

Brian played a live game of Double Dare, and Max hung out with DMX in a hotel parking lot. Yes, these are both things that happened in 2016. Starring Brian Altano, Scott Bromley, Anthony Gallegos, Ryan Scott, and Max Scoville.

Our friend Chastity Vicencio joins us to talk about what it was like working for Jimmy Fallon, how she almost became a teen pop sensation, and that one time that comedian Tracy Morgan awkwardly hit on her. Starring Brian Altano, Scott Bromley, Anthony Gallegos, Ryan Scott, and Max Scoville, with special guest Chastity Vicencio.

Firemen have the easiest job in the world, except for those few hours a year where they really, really don't. Starring Brian Altano, Scott Bromley, Anthony Gallegos, Ryan Scott, and Max Scoville.

The podcast's one sane man attempts to explain Doctor Who to a bunch of people who cannot even begin to understand how awesome it is. Starring Brian Altano, Scott Bromley, Ryan Scott, and Max Scoville.

Our pal Jared Petty joins us this week to talk about all the delicious candy that takes us back to the good old days. Starring Brian Altano, Scott Bromley, Anthony Gallegos, and Max Scoville, with special guest Jared Petty.

Mike Drucker joins us once again, to brag about how smart he was in high school -- so smart, in fact, that one time someone pulled a gun on him. Starring Brian Altano, Scott Bromley, Anthony Gallegos, and Max Scoville, with special guest Mike Drucker.

We know we're shameless pawns of the patriarchy when we say this, but man, living with naked women sure is cool. Starring Brian Altano, Scott Bromley, and Anthony Gallegos, with special guest Zach Ryan.

Everyone, we found out some hot dirty news about Toad and Frog. It involves the F-word a lot. Starring Brian Altano, Scott Bromley, Anthony Gallegos, and Max Scoville, with special guest Jared Petty.

Mike Drucker sits in for Ryan this week -- and he and Brian have a serious talk about Florida, the Everglades, and why Forrest Gump secretly sucks. Starring Brian Altano, Scott Bromley, Anthony Gallegos, and Max Scoville, with special guest Mike Drucker.

Guest hosts Alanah Pearce and Zach Ryan stop by to help us figure out how many bands old we are, and which celebrities we could most convincingly pretend to be. Starring Brian Altano, Scott Bromley, and Anthony Gallegos, with special guests Alanah Pearce and Zach Ryan.

It's time for your latest episode of Max Scoville's Yucky Boobies Monthly, everybody. Starring Brian Altano, Scott Bromley, Ryan Scott, and Max Scoville.

Our best friend for life, Applejack, makes his triumphant return this week, before we get really sad about the deaths of NYC's Toys R Us and FAO Schwarz. And have you ever wondered if a horse can throw up? We Google the answer LIVE, because we're all about the facts here. Starring Brian Altano, Scott Bromley, Ryan Scott, and Max Scoville.

The one and only Jack DeVries is back to give us the latest scoop on his love life, express his love for watching animated movies while under the influence, and help us discover some weird (and some even true) Presidential facts. Starring Brian Altano, Scott Bromley, Anthony Gallegos, Ryan Scott, and Max Scoville, with special guest Jack DeVries.

The '90s were... weird. They were very, very weird. Starring Brian Altano, Scott Bromley, Anthony Gallegos, and Max Scoville.

It's historical fact week! Did you know that ninjas used cat eyes to tell time? Or that cowboys used to have to get... creative in how they visualized landmarks, while they were spending some quality alone-time? We wouldn't believe these things ourselves, if we hadn't just made them up! Starring Brian Altano, Scott Bromley, Anthony Gallegos, and Max Scoville.

We attempt to explain American politics to an Australian, via Dragon Ball Z and Pokemon references. Which... sounds about right these days. Starring Brian Altano, Scott Bromley, Anthony Gallegos, and Max Scoville, with special guest Alanah Pearce.

This week, we podcast because Scott's new cat LETS us podcast. Starring Brian Altano, Scott Bromley, Anthony Gallegos, and Max Scoville.

When our wives get together, they talk about actual things, while (presumably) plotting against us. When we get together, we talk about rat deathmatches and two-donged men. All is right with the world. Starring Brian Altano, Scott Bromley, Anthony Gallegos, Ryan Scott, and Max Scoville.

When the worst things happen in life, the best thing to do is to surround yourself with the people who make you the happiest. A very special episode of The Comedy Button. Starring Brian Altano, Scott Bromley, Anthony Gallegos, Ryan Scott, and Max Scoville.

This week, we've got a couple of awesome guest stars here to give you some hot ASMR videos and a long-awaited Snakequake update. Starring Brian Altano, Scott Bromley, and Max Scoville, with special guests Anthony Carboni and Trisha Hershberger.

Comedian and Tonight Show With Jimmy Fallon writer Mike Drucker joins us to discuss the fake history of the world's worst musical instrument, how to deal with a commute full of crazy people, and getting a massage from a sloth. Then, Scott finally visits a country other than America, only to realize that he never should have left. Starring Brian Altano, Scott Bromley, Anthony Gallegos, Ryan Scott, and Max Scoville, with special guest Mike Drucker.

We pretend to be cavemen that have to hunt for our own food with a tennis racket, learn we don't know anything about Russia, and wonder if those damn teens will end up being nostalgic for Shrek. Starring Brian Altano, Scott Bromley, Anthony Gallegos, Ryan Scott, and Max Scoville.

Who likes truck fights? WE LIKE TRUCK FIGHTS. Starring Brian Altano, Scott Bromley, Anthony Gallegos, Ryan Scott, and Max Scoville.

QUACK QUACK QUACK QUACK, we've got some dirty, dirty duck tales for you. Starring Brian Altano, Scott Bromley, Anthony Gallegos, Ryan Scott, and Max Scoville.

Anthony has started up a bad bromance with returning guest host Jared Petty, who conjures up some old southern twang to tells us some tales. Starring Brian Altano, Scott Bromley, Anthony Gallegos, Ryan Scott, and Max Scoville, with special guest Jared Petty.

We don't understand YouTube. Or the Internet. Or modern dating. Or anything, really. Send help! Starring Brian Altano, Scott Bromley, Ryan Scott, and Max Scoville, with special guest Marty Sliva.

Only '10s kids will understand these amazing William Howard Taft facts! Starring Brian Altano, Scott Bromley, Ryan Scott, and Max Scoville, with special guest Marty Sliva.

Pro tip: If you light yourself on fire, just look for some water to jump in or something. Those fire extinguishers are a pain to work with. Starring Brian Altano, Scott Bromley, Anthony Gallegos, Ryan Scott, and Max Scoville.

Max went to Vietnam and had himself a big ol' nightmare vacation. Starring Brian Altano, Scott Bromley, Anthony Gallegos, Ryan Scott, and Max Scoville.

When we were kids, they always promised us candy and orange slices after we played those dumb sports. So yeah, you're darn right we played them. Starring Brian Altano, Scott Bromley, Ryan Scott, and Max Scoville.

So, stop us if you've heard this one already: Star Wars. Starring Brian Altano, Scott Bromley, Anthony Gallegos, and Ryan Scott.

We were going to make some New Year's resolutions, but we got distracted by all of Klasky Csupo's insane-looking '90s cartoon characters. Starring Brian Altano, Scott Bromley, Ryan Scott, and Max Scoville.

Internet superstar Anthony Carboni is here to help us pitch the greatest low-budget thriller since Sharknado. Starring Brian Altano, Scott Bromley, Anthony Gallegos, Ryan Scott, and Max Scoville, with special guest Anthony Carboni.

It turns out, we don't understand siblings, mouth stuff, Helen Keller, fish tanks, history, or a lot of other stuff. Starring Brian Altano, Scott Bromley, Anthony Gallegos, and Ryan Scott, with special guest Marty Sliva.

How do seasons work in California? How does Ryan get sick? How much did '80s garbage dumps rule? These are the questions that matter. Starring Brian Altano, Scott Bromley, Anthony Gallegos, Ryan Scott, and Max Scoville.

Anthony is smack-dab in the middle of creating a real-life sequel to The 'Burbs. Starring Brian Altano, Scott Bromley, Anthony Gallegos, Ryan Scott, and Max Scoville.

We have way too much to say about pee. WAY. TOO. MUCH. Starring Brian Altano, Scott Bromley, Anthony Gallegos, Ryan Scott, and Max Scoville.

We sure have dropped a lot of F-bombs on this show -- one very patient fan even counted them up. Seriously, there's a spreadsheet and everything! Starring Brian Altano, Scott Bromley, Anthony Gallegos, Ryan Scott, and Max Scoville.

It's vacations all around, as Brian reconnects with the motherland (AKA New York), and Max checks into a ritzy Mexico hotel using all that white privilege he's been hoarding. Starring Brian Altano, Scott Bromley, Anthony Gallegos, Ryan Scott, and Max Scoville.

Applejack the centaur is here to tell you about horse pills. Starring Brian Altano, Scott Bromley, Anthony Gallegos, Ryan Scott, and Max Scoville.

TV host and gaming icon Adam Sessler stopped by to talk about some porno we found in the woods, life after G4, and a bunch of spooky stuff -- because hey, it's Halloween. Starring Brian Altano, Scott Bromley, and Max Scoville, with special guest Adam Sessler.

The Boozeocalypse. The Alcoholocaust. Hurl Harbor. Wine/11. Whatever you want to call it, it's our long-awaited 200th episode spectacular, and we're getting trashed on some of the most terrible liquor in the world, sent to us by you -- our adoring fans. It was painful, it was miserable, and we love you all for it. Starring Brian Altano, Scott Bromley, Anthony Gallegos, Ryan Scott, and Max Scoville, with a special appearance by Bill Zoeker.

So... what would Shredder have done if he'd ever ACTUALLY killed the Ninja Turtles? Ever think about that one? Starring Brian Altano, Scott Bromley, Anthony Gallegos, Ryan Scott, and Max Scoville.

In this episode, we're talking about grown-up stuff, like pooping your pants at work. Starring Brian Altano, Scott Bromley, Anthony Gallegos, Ryan Scott, and Max Scoville.

Anthony entered into hostile negotiations with a business of raccoons. And it looks like their stock prices... have hit rock-bottom. Starring Brian Altano, Scott Bromley, Anthony Gallegos, Ryan Scott, and Max Scoville.

Our significant others have all ganged up and are now plotting against us. Pretty cool. Starring Brian Altano, Scott Bromley, Anthony Gallegos, Ryan Scott, and Max Scoville.

Did you think we would ever stop with those dumb MYYYY WIIIIIIFE jokes? Well, Scott Bromley got married, so that's never going to happen! Starring Brian Altano, Scott Bromley, Anthony Gallegos, Ryan Scott, and Max Scoville.

Only '90s kids will remember this one weird wedding trick. Churches HATE this guy. Secrets you never knew! Number 6 will shock you! Starring Brian Altano, Scott Bromley, Anthony Gallegos, Ryan Scott, and Max Scoville.

Our close encounter with the Oscar Mayer Wienermobile got us wondering exactly how many hot dogs a person eats every year. Starring Brian Altano, Scott Bromley, Anthony Gallegos, Ryan Scott, and Max Scoville.

We're all pretty depressed. It might have something to do with the big bag of POGs that we just bought. Starring Brian Altano, Scott Bromley, Anthony Gallegos, Ryan Scott, and Max Scoville.

The cast is divided on their opinions about outdoor urination, but they're all pretty sure all those inflatable protest rats are stupid, and limousine pizza is awesome. Starring Brian Altano, Scott Bromley, Anthony Gallegos, Ryan Scott, and Max Scoville.

While Max and guest host Andrew Goldfarb went to the land of hamburgers and better-tasting gummy bears (AKA Germany), Brian had things pulled out of his face, and Anthony hunted for garbage at a ramen festival. Starring Brian Altano, Scott Bromley, Anthony Gallegos, Ryan Scott, and Max Scoville, with special guest Andrew Goldfarb.

Scott's bachelor party proved once and for all that we are a bunch of giant, adult children who probably need supervision (also: it was awesome). Starring Brian Altano, Scott Bromley, Anthony Gallegos, and Ryan Scott.

Max Scoville reveals that you, too, could be the unwitting victim of a criminal house-pooper. Starring Brian Altano, Scott Bromley, Anthony Gallegos, Ryan Scott, and Max Scoville.

Skunkin', poop-mowin', and piracy: It's all in a week's work for the Comedy Button. Starring Brian Altano, Scott Bromley, Anthony Gallegos, Ryan Scott, and Max Scoville.

This week, THE COMEDY BUTTON REACTS to all the commercials at San Diego Comic-Con, fireworks that will probably wake up the neighbors, and all the depressing flyover state nonsense that Michigan can throw at us. Starring Brian Altano, Scott Bromley, and Ryan Scott, with special guest Marty Sliva.

Need some laughs? Try this collection of the Comedy Button's best bits on for size, and we guarantee that we'll brighten your day -- and maybe even draw some puzzled looks from your friends, loved ones, and/or complete strangers while you laugh your head off at our nonsense. And this is just what we've been able to fit in from our past year's worth of episodes. Welcome to your favorite weekly comedy podcast! Starring Brian Altano, Scott Bromley, Anthony Gallegos, Ryan Scott, and Max Scoville.

Anthony is either going to start collecting tomahawks, or buy a donkey. One of these things may be true. Starring Brian Altano, Scott Bromley, Anthony Gallegos, Ryan Scott, and Max Scoville.

Max gets so much action in haunted houses, we might as well start calling him Fred. Starring Brian Altano, Scott Bromley, Anthony Gallegos, Ryan Scott, and Fred Scoville.

One man made a recent pilgrimage to the home of the Goonies -- and he definitely found some rich stuff. Starring Brian Altano, Scott Bromley, Ryan Scott, and Max Scoville, with special guest Jared Petty.

We have some deep thoughts on the anatomy of Greek statues. Also: Anthony went to Disneyland, where he learned that selfie sticks can kill you. Starring Brian Altano, Scott Bromley, Anthony Gallegos, and Max Scoville.

Brian's European Vacation was way better than that stupid movie sequel that's coming out soon. Starring Brian Altano, Scott Bromley, Anthony Gallegos, and Max Scoville.

Our pizza place has been taken over by jocks. Also, there are some animals we really don't want to eat. Can you guess which ones they are? Starring Brian Altano, Scott Bromley, Anthony Gallegos, and Max Scoville.

Guest host Marty Sliva joins us once again to talk about his "style" (mind the air quotes), and we discover that we have some awesome female listeners. Starring Brian Altano, Scott Bromley, Anthony Gallegos, and Max Scoville, with special guest Marty Sliva.

Church's Game of the Year Edition came out, and Scott was on the scene to give us an updated review. Spoiler: It's worse. Starring Brian Altano, Scott Bromley, Anthony Gallegos, Ryan Scott, and Max Scoville.

What happens in Vegas stays in Vegas... and then it stumbles awkwardly into the Comedy Button recording studio. Starring Brian Altano, Scott Bromley, Anthony Gallegos, Ryan Scott, and Max Scoville.

While half of the cast was off at a Star Wars LARP, Anthony made a house for his cat. Starring Brian Altano, Scott Bromley, Anthony Gallegos, Ryan Scott, and Max Scoville.

High school reunions are stupid, but not as much as actual high school! Starring Brian Altano, Scott Bromley, Ryan Scott, and Max Scoville, with special guest Bill Zoeker.

We have way too much to say about who should play Krang in the next terrible Ninja Turtles movie. Call your agent, Verne Troyer. Starring Brian Altano, Scott Bromley, Ryan Scott, and Max Scoville, with special guest Bill Zoeker.

The We Have Concerns podcast's Anthony Carboni joins us to puzzle over the wild experience that was WrestleMania. Starring Brian Altano, Scott Bromley, Anthony Gallegos, Ryan Scott, and Max Scoville, with special guest Anthony Carboni.

Mike Drucker -- Tonight Show writer extraordinaire -- drops by to talk about comedy, Nintendo, and how much fun he and Brian used to have working together. Starring Brian Altano, Scott Bromley, Anthony Gallegos, Ryan Scott, and Max Scoville, with special guest Mike Drucker.

Guest host (and Giant Bombcast regular) Dan Ryckert tells us why Taco Bell is the best, why wrestling is awesome, and why Jose Canseco is his archnemesis. Starring Brian Altano, Scott Bromley, Anthony Gallegos, Ryan Scott, and Max Scoville, with special guest Dan Ryckert.

Buzzfeed is the future, everybody. Deal with it! Also, moving really sucks. Starring Brian Altano, Scott Bromley, Anthony Gallegos, Ryan Scott, and Max Scoville.

Max and Anthony live together now! It's like some weird porno plot, except with toy store trips instead of sex. Starring Brian Altano, Scott Bromley, Anthony Gallegos, Ryan Scott, and Max Scoville.

ANTHONY IS BACK! ANTHONY IS BACK! AND WE SAW MONSTER TRUCKS FIGHT! Starring Brian Altano, Scott Bromley, Anthony Gallegos, Ryan Scott, and Max Scoville.

We're gonna judge your "art," and then get drunk and go to incredibly stupid events. Starring Brian Altano, Scott Bromley, Ryan Scott, and Max Scoville.

Get drunk, find a toy store, and go to space. Starring Brian Altano, Scott Bromley, Anthony Gallegos, Ryan Scott, and Max Scoville.

Danny Tamberelli -- of Jounce, Manboobs, Grand Theft Auto V, and The Adventures of Pete & Pete fame -- pays us a visit to talk about the art of comedy. Starring Brian Altano, Scott Bromley, Anthony Gallegos, Ryan Scott, and Max Scoville, with special guest Danny Tamberelli.

We have a serious talk about the nectar of life -- as well as a debate on the pros and cons of bull-riding. Also, hermit crabs are stupid. Just saying. Starring Brian Altano, Scott Bromley, Anthony Gallegos, Ryan Scott, and Max Scoville.

Here's a sneak preview of our two-part interview with Ryan Scott's father, with cast reactions. It's just a short peek at what you're in store for when you support us on Patreon (www.patreon.com/comedybutton). Get these two bonus episodes while you can -- they're going away in mid-February, when our new monthly bonus episodes replace them!

We embark on a hot air balloon adventure, and tell some duck tales of a... very... different sort. Starring Brian Altano, Scott Bromley, Anthony Gallegos, Ryan Scott, and Max Scoville.

We're gonna tell you why all those animals are stupid. Starring Brian Altano, Scott Bromley, Anthony Gallegos, Ryan Scott, and Max Scoville.

We try to learn French from a classic '80s weed monster. Also: We're pretty sure Paddington Bear wears clothes because he's secretly a homicidal lunatic. Starring Brian Altano, Scott Bromley, Anthony Gallegos, Ryan Scott, and Max Scoville.

Anthony thought it would be a good idea to interview all of us, and ask us all of his long-burning questions. Short version: We're all fat and need to exercise more. Starring Brian Altano, Scott Bromley, Anthony Gallegos, Ryan Scott, and Max Scoville.

To help us celebrate 2015, former DeLorean owner Ryan McCaffrey regales us with tales about that one time when he got stuck in 1955. Starring Brian Altano, Scott Bromley, Anthony Gallegos, Ryan Scott, and Max Scoville, with special guest Ryan McCaffrey.

Gumby is stupid, pogs were never cool, and Skeletor is advertising Honda cars on TV. WTF is wrong with this world? Starring Brian Altano, Scott Bromley, Anthony Gallegos, Ryan Scott, and Max Scoville.

Our recent foray into cooking was a complete disaster. Also, your friends' jokes probably suck. Starring Brian Altano, Scott Bromley, Anthony Gallegos, Ryan Scott, and Max Scoville.

When did we all realize that we were adults? And WTF is that word we just made up at the end of the last sentence? Starring Brian Altano, Scott Bromley, Anthony Gallegos, Ryan Scott, and Max Scoville.

We go behind the scenes on our recent NPR interview, talk about stupid made-up animals, pay a visit to the cat cafe, and learn that Max might have possibly hooked up with a Goonies villain one time. Starring Brian Altano, Scott Bromley, Anthony Gallegos, Ryan Scott, and Max Scoville.

We visit our very own graveyard of comedy failures, discuss the importance of traveling when you're young, and invite David Lynch onto our show for one brief shining moment. Starring Brian Altano, Scott Bromley, Anthony Gallegos, Ryan Scott, and Max Scoville.

Guest host Jack DeVries returns to help us examine the effect that weird old dudes and X-Men cartoons have on impressionable youths. We also wonder what fast food commercials would look like if they actually told the truth, and talk about our biggest first world problems. Starring Brian Altano, Scott Bromley, and Max Scoville, with special guest Jack DeVries.

Huff paint, read a book, and join us for myriad tales of getting hitched. Note: Please don't huff any paint. Don't do drugs. Even though that's not really a drug, unless you're stupid. Starring Brian Altano, Scott Bromley, Anthony Gallegos, Ryan Scott, and Max Scoville.

You have relationship questions, we have long-winded answers and hard-left tangents. Starring Brian Altano, Scott Bromley, Ryan Scott, and Max Scoville, with special guest Marty Sliva.

With Halloween upon us, murder is in the air as we talk about Anthony's road rage, Ryan's terrible driving skills, and which of us would make the least-wrathful god. Also, Halloween kinda sucks when you're an adult. Starring Brian Altano, Scott Bromley, Anthony Gallegos, Ryan Scott, and Max Scoville.

Cool Ryan Scott returns to tell us a very out-of-left-field story about his dad. That is, after Anthony and Max tell us all about what the aliens REALLY want to do to us. Starring Brian Altano, Scott Bromley, Anthony Gallegos, Ryan Scott, and Max Scoville.

Special guest Moonshine Bonanza regales us with tales from the strip club, and we uncover a lot of Max's ongoing psychological problems when he reads us some bedtime stories from his 2nd grade journal. Starring Brian Altano, Scott Bromley, Anthony Gallegos, Ryan Scott, and Max Scoville, with special guest Moonshine Bonanza.

Saturday morning cartoons are officially dead, and we reminisce about our favorites as Anthony regales us with stories of hunting for literal garbage in sunny Seattle. Starring Brian Altano, Scott Bromley, Anthony Gallegos, Ryan Scott, and Max Scoville.

Brian and guest host Mitch Dyer had themselves an adventure in Japan, where (among other things) they encountered a strange golden man, cavorted with owls, and had a brush with the Yakuza's top gaming expert. Starring Brian Altano, Scott Bromley, Anthony Gallegos, Ryan Scott, and Max Scoville, with special guest Mitch Dyer.

It's another collection of the Comedy Button's greatest bits -- perfect for getting all you new listeners up to speed, and to force all of your other heathen friends to listen to, and like, and like liking! Starring Brian Altano, Scott Bromley, Anthony Gallegos, Ryan Scott, and Max Scoville.

Max gets a fake doctor's note, and everyone shares their favorite Ryan Scott memories. Starring Brian Altano, Scott Bromley, Anthony Gallegos, Ryan Scott, and Max Scoville.

Between bouts of consuming the borderline-toxic novelty sodas and candy that one sadistic fan sent us, we delve into the little-known friendship between Benjamin Franklin and Mark Twain. Starring Brian Altano, Scott Bromley, Anthony Gallegos, Ryan Scott, and Max Scoville.

Brian and Max went fishing with Anthony up in Seattle, and lived through their very own PAX Prime hotel nightmare. Starring Brian Altano, Scott Bromley, Anthony Gallegos, Ryan Scott, and Max Scoville.

Disaster strikes our cast, and we don't just mean the recent California earthquake -- Scott recounts the most horrific Airbnb mix-up ever. First-world problems, people. Starring Brian Altano, Scott Bromley, Anthony Gallegos, Ryan Scott, and Max Scoville.

Max returns from his whirlwind tour of Vietnam -- where he helped struggling children who were crying in pain due to health issues -- only to be greeted by a bunch of Internet gamer man-children crying in fake pain about season passes and Fez 2. Starring Brian Altano, Scott Bromley, Anthony Gallegos, Ryan Scott, and Max Scoville.

Yes, some people are in the closet -- but this week's guest star actually lives in a literal closet. Starring Brian Altano, Scott Bromley, Anthony Gallegos, and Ryan Scott, with special guest Bill Zoeker.

Max's girlfriend joins us this week to talk about bad movies, Vietnam vacations, and her poops. Starring Brian Altano, Scott Bromley, Anthony Gallegos, Ryan Scott, and Max Scoville, with special guest Jenn Ngo.

In a battle between superheroes, Aquaman has way cooler powers than Jesus. Starring Brian Altano, Scott Bromley, Ryan Scott, and Max Scoville.

Much-requested guest host Jackie Talbott joins us at long last, to talk about things that are only legal in two states, and a bunch of other very un-ladylike things. Starring Brian Altano, Scott Bromley, Anthony Gallegos, and Max Scoville, with special guest Jackie Talbott.

Guest host Jack DeVries returns to tell sordid tales of Philadelphia field trips gone horribly bizarre. Starring Brian Altano, Scott Bromley, Anthony Gallegos, Ryan Scott, and Max Scoville, with special guest Jack DeVries.

Pot is legal in Washington, and eels are DUMB. Starring Brian Altano, Scott Bromley, Anthony Gallegos, Ryan Scott, and Max Scoville.

Special guest Colin Moriarty joins us to talk about how you're not really east coast unless you've had a near-death experience at actual real-world New Jersey nightmare factory Action Park. Starring Brian Altano, Scott Bromley, Anthony Gallegos, Ryan Scott, and Max Scoville, with special guest Colin Moriarty.

This week, we celebrate (or at least incredulously listen to) Brian and Max's shared love... for horses. Starring Brian Altano, Scott Bromley, Anthony Gallegos, Ryan Scott, and Max Scoville.

Our (real) reactions to this year's E3 Expo are nothing compared to Ryan and Anthony's schoolyard magazine production dreams. Starring Brian Altano, Scott Bromley, Anthony Gallegos, and Ryan Scott.

This year's E3 was apparently pretty crazy -- but not quite as crazy as Anthony's tale of feeding condoms to dogs. Starring Brian Altano, Scott Bromley, Anthony Gallegos, Ryan Scott, and Max Scoville.

What do anime conventions and the cat circus have in common? They're both orchestrated by a lot of single people. Starring Brian Altano, Scott Bromley, Anthony Gallegos, Ryan Scott, and Max Scoville.

Ah, boy... we're just so tired of all these Star Wars. Starring Brian Altano, Scott Bromley, Anthony Gallegos, and Max Scoville.

Facebook gots stupid questions, and we gots smart 'n' funny answers. Come at us, Internet. Starring Brian Altano, Scott Bromley, Anthony Gallegos, and Max Scoville.

Video game critic, TV personality, and all-around awesome dude Adam Sessler joins us to talk about the first time he kissed a girl, and how he turned Wayne's World into a career. Starring Brian Altano, Scott Bromley, Anthony Gallegos, Max Scoville, and Ryan Scott, with special guest Adam Sessler.

Ryan wasn't here this week to take copious notes and stay quiet for a full hour, so who knows what's in store for this episode? Probably bangin' talk. Lots of bangin' talk. Starring Brian Altano, Scott Bromley, Anthony Gallegos, and Max Scoville.

None of these things are good ideas: powdered alcohol, throwing a dead cobra on the street, buying makeup that's sponsored by fictional characters, and keeping in touch with your old stupid classmates. Starring Brian Altano, Scott Bromley, Anthony Gallegos, Ryan Scott, and Max Scoville.

Anthony is, apparently, the best BFF ever, whether you're a man or woman. Which is totally cool, you know. We're cool with whatever -- whatever you want to do is cool with us. Not judging at all. We're just saying, Anthony is super-cool. Hes a pretty cool guy, great guy. He's a real keeper. Starring Brian Altano, Scott Bromley, Anthony Gallegos, Ryan Scott, and Max Scoville.

What's the most cartoonishly bad restaurant in San Francisco, and who went there for kicks (hint: not Ryan)? Starring Brian Altano, Scott Bromley, Anthony Gallegos, Ryan Scott, and Max Scoville.

Everyone has vacation stories this week! Max stayed in a horse hotel, Brian saw the 9/11 tourist attraction, and Ryan visited his ancestral homeland. Yep, only the best for this band of actual grown adults. Starring Brian Altano, Scott Bromley, Anthony Gallegos, Ryan Scott, and Max Scoville.

Brian and Max are too drunk for their own good. Seriously, WTF is wrong with these guys? Starring Brian Altano, Scott Bromley, Anthony Gallegos, Ryan Scott, and Max Scoville.

We aren't quite sure whether H.R. Pufnstuf or the terrifying original version of McDonaldland left more childhood scars on us. Remember, kids: Night terrors are not fun. Starring Brian Altano, Scott Bromley, Anthony Gallegos, Ryan Scott, and Max Scoville.

This week, the cast plays "Kill Ryan." The shocking truth is, they would utterly lose this game in real-life, because Ryan is a MFing BADASS. Starring Scott Bromley, Brian Altano, Ryan Scott, and Max Scoville.

It's almost 2015, and we still don't have all that garbage Back to the Future Part II promised us, nor are we living in some weird alternate version of the '80s. But that sure as heck doesn't keep the Internet from trolling the heck out of people who are desperate for a stupid flying skateboard. Starring Scott Bromley, Brian Altano, Ryan Scott, and Max Scoville.

If each of us could swap lives with one of our fellow castmates for a day, who would we pick? Well, the answer to that is: How badly does everyone want to experience Ryan's presumed cartoon-character lifestyle? And how much do we want to bang each other's girlfriends? This is kind of awkward now. Starring Scott Bromley, Brian Altano, Anthony Gallegos, Ryan Scott, and Max Scoville.

This week, amid our stories of accidental racism and Chris Farley sightings, one Comedy Button cast member unveils his grand plan for creating a home cockpit chair. Just in case you didn't know, that's not even a single full step shy of owning a race car bed. Starring Scott Bromley, Brian Altano, Anthony Gallegos, Ryan Scott, and Max Scoville.

What happens when two nerdy white guys (one of them nine feet tall) visit the ancestral homeland of video games and samurai -- Japan itself -- and decide that it would be a great idea to get into bathroom hijinks at an anime cafe? Yeah, it's even worse than you think. Starring Scott Bromley, Brian Altano, Anthony Gallegos, Ryan Scott, and Max Scoville, with special guest Mitch Dyer.

We watch some stupid commercials, steer clear of Seattle's horse cops, take a ride on the Reading Railroad, have some excellent spa adventures, witness a shootout, Hulk out at a cabbie stricken with Uber-envy, freak out about corporations, hear more about Anthony's love life, leave our porn out for the maintenance guy, obsess over Wikipedia way too much, play Minecraft for grown-ups, praise our role models, and have a serious herp-chat. Starring Scott Bromley, Brian Altano, Anthony Gallegos, Ryan Scott, and Max Scoville.

On this week's extra-awesome episode, Adventures of Pete & Pete star Danny Tamberelli returns with his on-sceen big brother Mike Maronna in tow, we hear some behind-the-scenes tales of Grand Theft Auto V, Ryan and Mike have an OK Q*bert love affair, Mike tells us what it was like to teach Bill Clinton how to use the Internet, we hear some fun Home Alone set stories, we hear even more Pete & Pete stories, everyone recalls their He-Man memories, we drop some hot hip-hop voiceovers, Max and Mike nerd out over their mutual love of Dragon Ball Z, and Danny and Mike answer some listener email. Starring Scott Bromley, Brian Altano, Ryan Scott, and Max Scoville, with special guests Michael Maronna and Danny Tamberelli.

It's another three-man show, wherein Scott hates his birthday, we recall the first video games we ever played, Ryan delves into the contents of his MP3 player, proxy servers are cool, our stupid hobbies make us feel older than we are, we (occasionally) question our lots in life, the revelation of Santa Claus and wrestling being (spoilers) fake drove our kid selves mad, getting friend-zoned is your own stupid fault, we examine the peculiar difficulties of the late '90s, we talk all about pants, we take refuge in an imaginary zombie apocalypse, a 35-year-old virgin asks us for some love advice, and we reveal our comedic influences. Starring Scott Bromley, Brian Altano, and Ryan Scott.

This week, Anthony is dating a 23-year-old, we take a trip to the Bone Zone, the great California drought has us doing nothing differently whatsoever, Max grows up a little bit more, Tata Massage takes its face-slapping operations international, rap is for insane people, politically correct people don't care about you, Anthony misses San Francisco, Scarlett Johansson loves her Sodastream, we don't understand where countries are, we remember some of our most rage-filled moments, Ryan hacked some pay phones, Brian made a ninja movie, Max is actually a permanent man-child, and we all say something nice about Ryan. Starring Scott Bromley, Brian Altano, Anthony Gallegos, Ryan Scott, and Max Scoville.

With half the cast MIA, it's down to Brian, Scott, and the guy who doesn't talk to discuss the Star Wars canon re-org, Ryan's extracurricular activities, Brian's month of sobriety, Scott's big gay wedding, continuing to get old, pie filling for lunch, the origin of our show's name, Brian's triple-platinum album, the aftermath of Scott's new pop culture show, and Dungeons & Dragons. Starring Scott Bromley, Brian Altano, and Ryan Scott.

After a way-longer-than-we-planned-for holiday break, we're back in 2014 to talk about the real-world problems that occasionally happen, Anthony's love for Rust, "Ryan Scott," Brian's latest awful airline story (and his subsequent tales from New Jersey), Anthony's quest to be totally radical at 31, eating healthy because we're old, Anthony's dad's newfound tolerance for humanity, Max's big tragedy lever pull, Ryan vs. the MMA, the worst college professor ever, bashing fine art, dire YouTube predictions, and Brian's r-word resolution. Starring Scott Bromley, Brian Altano, Anthony Gallegos, Ryan Scott, and Max Scoville.

We're joined by a couple of awesome IGN editors to talk about life as an extra in the movie biz, Ryan's new Ranger Smith look, Midwestern values, the horrors of Culver's, BuzzFeed's terrible ideas for Christmas pumpkins, the 1994 Academy Awards, the art of manscaping, amazing listener emails with terrible endings, banging out with dead bodies in the house, and the importance of referential humor. Starring Scott Bromley, Brian Altano, and Ryan Scott, with special guests Andrew Goldfarb and Marty Sliva.

This week, in-between bouts of random audio issues (sorry about that), we pull some cool pranks, Ryan's wife schools us on cooking steaks, we get a box of bad German booze, Christmas arrives early, Max is a walking cartoon disaster of epic proportions, Anthony protects himself from riff-raff, we ascertain how to tell if a girl is into you, Anthony has SAD, Ryan pays someone to lock him in a room, and we scrutinize one listener's problems with his hot supermodel wife. Starring Scott Bromley, Brian Altano, Anthony Gallegos, Ryan Scott, and Max Scoville.

This week, Ryan does a bang-up hosting job, Captain Planet is still terrible, a thoughtful listener subscribes us to Instabang, we consider the weirdos that date below their league, trading cards are for dorks, monster trucks and demolition derbies are for insane people, we don't want other people's kids on our fridge, engagement photos are the worst, we deal with fans awkwardly, Boston sucks, holiday shopping for your parents sucks, wedding planning sucks, and 7-Eleven food sucks. Starring Scott Bromley, Brian Altano, Ryan Scott, and Max Scoville.

We forget to hit record, Anthony eats a whole pie for his birthday, Jaden Smith's Twitter account is insane, Brian sees a midget Rastafarian, Brian is an accidental racist at Starbucks, we talk about talking during sex, Anthony gets in touch with his Mexican side, we imagine some insane Christmas gifts for each other, Scott reveals a weird holiday tradition, Ryan is the manliest cast member, Ryan's dad is the world's manliest gamer, and we love on some terrible old video games. Starring Scott Bromley, Brian Altano, Anthony Gallegos, and Ryan Scott.

We find out who's a nasty man, sex acts are like Doom weapons, Anthony expiration-dates a girl, we ponder the logistics of droid slavery, we discover Lindsay Lo Pan, our young selves discover that gay people exist, our shirts will get you laid (100% true story), and we recount the worst propositions from individuals who we were just desperate to avoid. Starring Scott Bromley, Brian Altano, Anthony Gallegos, Ryan Scott, and Max Scoville.

Max takes his career back to the future (and explains his weird phobias), we do a boob tally, the Folsom Street Fair is weird, Ryan whips out the bully blinders, Brian is a closet depression eater, Ryan spins tales of his former criminal mastermind career, we're glad Blockbuster is finally gone, we learn some monster cereal facts straight from the source, we all totally would have been friends in high school, and making out is awesome (mostly). Starring Scott Bromley, Brian Altano, Ryan Scott, and Max Scoville.

This week, we contemplate the idea of becoming actual Ghostbusters, we're still giant manbabies, Brian makes fun of tiny horses, Ryan would be the worst drug-purchaser ever, hangovers suck, getting older sucks, our childhood bullies' adult lives suck, and moving away from home rules. Starring Scott Bromley, Brian Altano, Anthony Gallegos, Ryan Scott, and Max Scoville.

We hear stories from medical professionals, get wind of some weird STD news, talk about the stupid Power Rangers, bring up Brian's apparent archnemesis, make fun of cartoon theme songs, hear about Ryan's unwanted drug deal, get excited about Halloween, debate the merits of Twizzlers and Red Vines, move out of our parents' houses, get an update on Ryan's Renaissance Faire adventures, roll our eyes at disappointing educational field trips, discuss our favorite scary movies, and ponder the ramifications of sleeping with friends-of-friends. Starring Scott Bromley, Brian Altano, Ryan Scott, and Max Scoville.

In this 100th episode semi-spectacular, we count our blessings, weigh time spent playing video games vs. watching porn, discuss classy erotica habits, wonder if the cobra in our cobra booze is still alive, whine about public transportation, play "IKEA or Death Metal Band," talk fashion, break down our 6th grade sex lives, go all-in on guest Greg Miller's hard-won battle against cancer, reminisce about the dumb X-Men cartoon, and ponder how to get free beef jerky. Starring Scott Bromley, Brian Altano, Anthony Gallegos, Ryan Scott, and Max Scoville, with special guest Greg Miller.

This week, Anthony broadcasts from space, Max has a big announcement, we talk about whackin' (and not the mob kind), fast food travels through time, Max wants to be rotoscoped, pennies are still dumb, Ryan reads us some hot Amazon reviews, Game of Thrones is a ye olde porno, we speculate on Ryan's living conditions, we tally our couches battle scars, and we have some fun with Goosebumps story titles. Starring Scott Bromley, Brian Altano, Anthony Gallegos, Ryan Scott, and Max Scoville.

This week, Anthony gets in touch with his inner Mexican, Star Trek is still dumb, Scott has a Donald Duck butt, we play "Racist or True," Brian encounters a time-traveling vagrant, Scott follows in Brian's footsteps, people sell some weird Grand Theft Auto-related merchandise on eBay, old video games are awesome, the Mile High Club might not actually be legal, E.T. is weird, Super Mario World is totally better than Donkey Kong Country, we discover that '80s funk is the prequel to gangster rap, we try to figure out WTF "joggling" is, one listener gets some action, and we want you to nominate us in the 2013 Podcast Awards! Starring Scott Bromley, Brian Altano, Anthony Gallegos, Ryan Scott, and Max Scoville.

Ryan's life gets disrupted by a chocolate factory burning to the ground, Lobo is the worst comic book character ever, Brian pops the question, we speculate on our continuing snail's-pace race to parenthood, we dish out some advice to a 27-year-old virgin, we speculate on which cast members would win in a fight, and a bunch of 30-year-olds try to understand what Tinder is. Starring Scott Bromley, Brian Altano, Ryan Scott, and Max Scoville.

Anthony throws a penny whistle concert, we tell some cat tales, Anthony's becoming more of a bar regular than Norm from Cheers, '90s rap videos are insane, we get a letter from a juggalo, Brian has mile-high horror story, we shake our heads at comments on porn videos, a listener sends us some Swedish treats, Ironman is a scam, Anthony hits the sensory deprivation chamber, and huffing paint probably isn't the greatest idea in the world. Starring Scott Bromley, Brian Altano, Anthony Gallegos, Ryan Scott, and Max Scoville.

Ryan and Brian roll with San Francisco's craziest cab driver, Seattle gets collectively high, Anthony goes on a solo adventure, Max makes a very odd find at PAX Prime, the river man demands payment, we talk Exosquad, Ryan discusses his just-in-case-I-die preparations, we whine about how hard it used to be to get porn, we look at the hot new toy of 2013, and Cool Ryan Scott returns. Starring Scott Bromley, Brian Altano, Anthony Gallegos, Ryan Scott, and Max Scoville.

Ryan and Anthony go to PAX Prime 2013, the guys who make Halo apparently listen to our show, Max gets all muscular, Anthony has a white weekend, one public break-up gets very awkward, the ThunderCats are awesomely bad, He-Man is even worse, Anthony plays us a sweet song, the old Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles and Batman toys are all kinds of insane, and Nickelodeon Gak is back. Starring Scott Bromley, Brian Altano, Anthony Gallegos, Ryan Scott, and Max Scoville.

Anthony is absent again this week, and in his stead we learn the origins of one very politically incorrect term, Max gets confused by the concept of land ownership, Ryan hates on Harry Knowles (who still sucks even though his Kickstarter got funded after we recorded this), Brian wishes for a cool wheelchair, we recall our favorite (and least favorite) comedies, we recall the ghosts of Comedy Button past, and we remember Charlotte's Web's worst character. Starring Scott Bromley, Brian Altano, Ryan Scott, and Max Scoville.

Max steps in for hosting duty in Anthony's absence, Scott has one of the most white-person weekends ever, we ponder making our own Weird Science girl, everyone really hates Guy Fieri, we introduce more reasons for you to give us money, we still aren't role models, we discuss fun things that couples can do while driving, we discuss the finer points of shaving, and the theme song to Nickelodeon Guts gets quite the unexpected cover. Starring Scott Bromley, Brian Altano, Ryan Scott, and Max Scoville.

Anthony vows to stop crime, Max films a completely unrelated crime, Zombie Studios is ground zero for an actual zombie apocalypse, mugging logistics are confusing, Anthony's cat looks like every other cat, people who leave their fortunes to their pets are stupid, dead man's treasure maps are the new hotness, Mad Libs temporarily get funny again, scientists relay all-new raccoon facts, we recall our biggest regrets, Brian goes there and back again, and we tell you what to do when your parents are out of town. Starring Scott Bromley, Brian Altano, Anthony Gallegos, Ryan Scott, Max Scoville, and special guest Mitch Dyer.

In this episode, we all try to live healthier lives, Ryan gets annoyed about Taco Bell breakfasts, we encounter the most confident woman in America, Brian asks for permission to get married, we review church on-air, Anthony finds a Seattle wingman, we share some sly girl-meeting tactics, we recall our favorite Comedy Button moments (so far), Ryan eats a very special lollipop, and Scott reports on Vidcon 2013. Starring Scott Bromley, Brian Altano, Anthony Gallegos, Ryan Scott, and Max Scoville.

In this very special episode, we analyze the Gotham City Police Department, learn about Seattle's real-life superhero squad, introduce some coworkers to the show, get AMBER Alerted, get rendered speechless by the hardest Tragedy Lever pull in the show's history (thanks Ryan), check back in with Cool Ryan Scott to lighten the mood, and work through our daddy issues. Starring Scott Bromley, Brian Altano, Anthony Gallegos, Ryan Scott, and Max Scoville.

Guest host Jack DeVries turns into Cool Ryan Scott, Anthony parties hard in Seattle, white girls love crying on curbs, we hear some San Diego Comic-Con stories, Max tells us about Hell Comes to Frog Town, Hawaii has sea turtles and mongooses, we still don't understand a woman's period, we recall our personal city-related trauma, and Brian and Anthony sing us a song. Starring Scott Bromley, Brian Altano, Anthony Gallegos, and Max Scoville, with special guest Jack DeVries.

Max has an important raccoon-related announcement, Brian had to babysit Jason Mewes, a listener (finally) sends in a great email, we explain how your nerdy hobbies don't impress women, Cool Ryan Scott pays us a visit, some guy pulls very weird pranks on his friends, some other guy almost joins the mile-high club, sleeping with your cousin is always a bad idea, summer vacation is awesome, and we get hot and heavy with our favorites JPG files. Starring Scott Bromley, Brian Altano, Anthony Gallegos, Ryan Scott, and Max Scoville.

We learn that Anthony's been checking out his cat's unmentionables, check out the hot Seattle dating scene, hear about the nerdiest sleepover ever, hate on anime and Star Trek, make up fake movie descriptions for websites, meet the real-life Rat King, hear some taxi cab confessions, run into the world's biggest Galaga fan, and pitch an Iron Sheik documentary.

We find out what annoys Ryan's wife, confess to the stupid things we do out of habit, witness a hobo couple's $300 argument, meet the Jean Whisperer, relive Ryan's cartoon wedding day, get into arguments with our significant others, compare dog baths to something terrible, learn that our girlfriends don't care about the dumb Internet memes we try to show them, visit baby animal Vietnam, have Cola War flashbacks, talk about why drugs are bad, and recall our worst hangovers. Starring Scott Bromley, Brian Altano, Anthony Gallegos, Ryan Scott, and Max Scoville.

This week, we spin the Comedy Button topic wheel, discuss Ryan's style (and what would happen if he found himself unexpectedly alone), marvel at Radford University's latest screw-up, report on San Francisco's gay pride parade, consider the idea of an Escape from San Francisco movie, hear all about Ryan's awesome dad, and learn a thing or two about game design. Starring Scott Bromley, Brian Altano, Anthony Gallegos, Ryan Scott, and Max Scoville.

This week, Anthony joins us from Seattle to tell us about his cat-sitter, we search Yelp for highway review scores, Anthony gets real job, we ponder some interesting puppetry, crack costs skyrocket, Max's girlfriend becomes an official mouth-doctor, the gang plays "Where's Ryan?" at E3, we talk spy tech, Brian races in the Malibu Grand Prix, we conclude that arcade ticket machines are the worst things ever, 90 percent of our emails are still bad, we send a 14-year-old on a scavenger hunt of doom, and we discuss big finishes. Starring Scott Bromley, Brian Altano, Anthony Gallegos, Ryan Scott, and Max Scoville.

It's an all bangout episode! This week, we talk problems with the ol' IUD, guest host Jack DeVries' posterior prep work, Jack's Comedy Button crushes, being bad at sex, Back to the Future BJs, juggling hot dates, fake OkCupid profiles, messing with frat boys, watching porn, being horrible liars, having interests that women actually care about, and homeless pickup lines. Starring Scott Bromley, Brian Altano, and Max Scoville, with special guest Jack DeVries.

In this episode, we wonder if we really need a theme song, conclude that Cops was an amazing show, rave about Lethal Enforcers and NARC, laugh at some pretty terrible undercover cops, get harassed at stores, witness some insane racial profiling at a movie theater, whine about wine, put stuff on the street for free, puzzle over feeding fetishes, racially profile fat people, discover a dead mole, read emails, and hear all about Ryan's new TV. Starring Scott Bromley, Brian Altano, Anthony Gallegos, Ryan Scott, and Max Scoville.

This week, we try (and fail) to give Ryan a new catchphrase, discover that people have no idea what we look like in real life, wonder what ever happened to Billy Zabka, learn that Max and his girlfriend have been together for three years and went on a hot date, hear about the dumb cartoon bar that Ryan wants to go to, receive presents from Germany (and have a mini-Alcoholocaust), take the ethnic candy taste test, marvel at how bonkers Amanda Bynes is, and answer a single email. Starring Scott Bromley, Brian Altano, Anthony Gallegos, Ryan Scott, and Max Scoville.

We try and come up with new catchphrases, Ryan gets a cool new jacket, Anthony talks fleshlights, Brian sees a wind-something-not-filter-friendly, Anthony fails at surfing in Puerto Rico, Scott tricks a Japanese couple into driving him through a lava field, Max shows off his Totoro tattoo, Anthony finally figures out how OkCupid works (and breaks some serious rules), and we face a serious long-distance relationship. Starring Scott Bromley, Brian Altano, Anthony Gallegos, Ryan Scott, and Max Scoville.

In this episode, we read real raccoon facts, discover that tripping a person will give them a speech impediment, mess around at work, watch things fail, learn how awesome the Internet is, break down the top 25 horses in gaming, have some very bad accidents at a horse race, build cyborgs to fight each other, and wonder whether the real world is better than college. Starring Scott Bromley, Brian Altano, Anthony Gallegos, Ryan Scott, and Max Scoville.

This week, Ryan loves all women, we happen upon one defective San Francisco raver girl, Anthony goes on a group date, public Facebook profiles are serious problems, cartoon squirrels get all the action, Anthony gets ready to head to Puerto Rico, we take a bizarre detour into an Eastern European educational film, Scott's mom goes to Burning Man, Max puts his foot down about getting made fun of, and Ryan lusts after stupid old video games that no one cares about anymore. Starring Scott Bromley, Brian Altano, Anthony Gallegos, Ryan Scott, and Max Scoville.

It’s a special animal-themed episode, where we answer all your stupid questions about dumb animals, and ramble on about actual raccoon facts. Starring Scott Bromley, Brian Altano, Anthony Gallegos, Ryan Scott, and Max Scoville.

It's time for some crazy subway stories, crazy homeless stories, Falling Down moments, love crimes as the new hate crimes, The Theology Button, retirement of the word "fun," rich kids at art schools, sex in a dorm room, and Amanda Bynes as a bird. Starring Scott Bromley, Brian Altano, Anthony Gallegos, Ryan Scott, and Max Scoville.

It's April, which means our second maybe-sort-of-annual GFW Radio reunion show, wherein six guys who used to make a PC gaming magazine (remember those?) and an associated podcast talk about... well, whatever it is we can think up. It's like the Earth-2 version of the Comedy Button, for one week only! Starring Jeff Green, Robert Ashley, Shawn Elliott, Anthony Gallegos, Sean Molloy, and Ryan Scott.

This week on the Comedy Button, Max is apparently turning into Benjamin Button, Anthony visits Jurassic Park, Ryan tells us his stupid opinion on G.I.  Joe: Retaliation, we deduce that Cartoon All-Stars to the Rescue actually made kids WANT to take drugs, Scott reports on his trip to Star Wars heaven, we give ourselves a little lovin', Scott tells us about his girlfriend's totally-not-night-terrors, we wonder how to explain the C-word to children, people send us some more stupid emails and press releases, Ryan is basically the old man from Up, we rave about Sebulba Koosh balls, we recount our worst childhood injuries, and Brian's parents almost get him kicked out of the trampoline factory. Starring Scott Bromley, Brian Altano, Anthony Gallegos, Ryan Scott, and Max Scoville.

This week, returning Kickstarter VIP Greg Tarascio tells us about airplane noises, we recall our fondest terrible NES game memories, Greg tells us more stories about Crazy Uncle Joe, we recap our Game Developers Conference 2013 highlights, we learn that Police Academy's Michael Winslow is crazy, we give some shout-outs to nobody, some insane people make us wonder what constitutes "wifey material," Ryan's life is like a hurricane, and Greg drops a Comedy Button exclusive. 

This week, Anthony rides shotgun with Max, we discover the world's worst (fake) Android game, we consider how to make your girlfriends play video games, Ryan is a total jerk online, we reminisce about food-related mishaps, Indiana Jones is still awesome, sex at Disneyland is totally on-camera, we learn crazy things about insane scientologists, and we talk about the worst time to try to have sex. Starring Scott Bromley, Brian Altano, Anthony Gallegos, Ryan Scott, and Max Scoville.

This week, we get off to some false starts, hear about Scott's recent trip to Camp Crystal Lake, ponder Anthony's inevitable new life as Casey Jones, laugh at that dumb Star Wars Kid, gawk at some community service hotties, get old and mad, read some terrible and funny emails, edit some video, go to the museum, make fun of St. Patrick's Day drunks, and talk about more of our favorite homeless people. Starring Scott Bromley, Brian Altano, Anthony Gallegos, Ryan Scott, and Max Scoville.

This week, we learn that Ryan Scott -- the king of lounging -- still wears thermal underwear, ponder Etsy-crafted anal beads, recall our international travels, laugh at broke drug dealers, shoot bugs with shotguns, meet our heroes, scratch our heads at the idea of a Comedy Button video game, and consider our dream jobs. Starring Scott Bromley, Brian Altano, Anthony Gallegos, Ryan Scott, and Max Scoville.

This week, we ask Ryan how his life is going, discuss our hatred of dolphins, beg for some horribly cooked food, discover the coolest book ever, read corny jokes for blind people, fix our cars like real men, deal with a coffee conundrum, and pit crappy cereal mascots against one another. Starring Scott Bromley, Brian Altano, Anthony Gallegos, Ryan Scott, and Max Scoville.

This week, we talk about watching nude scenes with our parents, being sick and lazy, the world's most practical homeless man, those damn kids, cool tattoos on old people, Pinterest, Grindr, pulling the Canadian Tragedy Lever, messing with drug dealers, 15 Dead dogs in a hot air balloon, more bad advice for terrible teens, the return of Blue Ray and Davey Dee, and free porn vs. pay porn. Starring Scott Bromley, Brian Altano, Anthony Gallegos, and Max Scoville, with special guest Jack DeVries.

This week, Anthony gets Scott's front door mixed up, we ponder the idea of being sickly shut-ins, quitting smoking is hard, Anthony impersonates his Mexican family, Ryan talks fairy tales, Max pines for a gritty Wishbone reboot, Babar and David the Gnome sucked, Anthony plays in trash piles, we explore the complexities of the Rancor pit, goats are hilarious, Max's girlfriend reminisces about growing up in a liquor store, the Jersey Devil is a big cartoon idiot, Ryan campaigns for president, interracial relationships are complicated, rejection is awkward, and Max tells us why he doesn't want to date his girlfriend. Starring Scott Bromley, Brian Altano, Anthony Gallegos, Ryan Scott, and Max Scoville, with special guest Jenn Not-Yet-Scoville.

This week, Anthony has a sleepover, Ryan performs a dramatic reading of DuckTales (and proves why he'd be the worst at reading bedtime stories to kids), we fight over shotgun, animals go wild, our special guest spins tales from the Great White North, we speculate about Wile E. Coyote's suicide plans, some bangout emails come in, stupid kids run though pane glass windows, and Brian recalls his worst Valentine's Day ever. Starring Scott Bromley, Brian Altano, Anthony Gallegos, Ryan Scott, and Max Scoville, with special guest Mitch Dyer.

This week, Ryan shows up for an episode (and tells us about his love for the Matrix), we order nerds to lose the pony tails, fat shaming gets shameful, Canada is dumb and full of mutants, we totally wish for mutant superpowers, our dreams (and night terrors) go under the microscope, Ryan opens up about the most absurd "fear" ever, we wonder if the new Star Wars movies will suck, we offer more free art school advice, awkward moments continue to be the best moments, little kids still suck, and the San Francisco Muni gets terrifying (and just a little bit awesome). Starring Scott Bromley, Brian Altano, Anthony Gallegos, and Ryan Scott.

In this extra-special episode, former Adventures of Pete & Pete star (and current grown-up funny guy) Danny Tamberelli joins us to recall what life was like during Nickelodeon's golden years, muse over not quite getting Pete & Pete's absurd humor as a child, geek out about the recent reunion shows, tell us what writing sketch comedy was like at 16, reveal the secret behind Nickelodeon's slime, drop some details on his childhood stalker, give the thumbs-down to those Mighty Ducks sequels, recall meeting girls with Petuina tattoos, debunk rumors that he's dead, and tell us just what the heck he's up to these days. Starring Scott Bromley, Brian Altano, Anthony Gallegos, Ryan Scott, and Max Scoville, with special guest Danny Tamberelli.

On this week's wild-and-crazy "lost" episode, Anthony gets everything wrong, Diablo gives bedsores, Game of Thrones has its share of homeless people, Siamese twin logistics get complicated, Shredder's foot soldier gets the crap beaten out of him, we consider a seeing-eye horse, we tell some Bay to Breakers stories, Scott is afraid of his relationship changing, we watch the worst porn ever, Ryan gets sick for a month, cars destroy our dumb toys, we tell some tales from the haunted mansion, everyone takes their gummy vitamins, we see some sonograms on Facebook, old people are amazing racists, and Ryan talks sports. Starring Scott Bromley, Brian Altano, Anthony Gallegos, and Ryan Scott.

This week, Brian interrupts Max too much, animals go on welfare, California has some crazy garbage rules, lingerie is important for about eight seconds, pajamas are dangerous, Mila Kunis shows up in a meat bikini, people don't understand our eating habits, Max brings up Stephen King, we discuss dumb art projects, we ruin the Geekbox, Ryan talks about dumb old stuff, we dig through our best email spam, Brazzers gets in touch with us, Brian starts a turf war between mattress stores, and we meet the skanks who work at Goodwill. Starring Scott Bromley, Brian Altano, Anthony Gallegos, Ryan Scott, and Max Scoville.

This week, we analyze Anthony's show-starting methods, talk about our relaxing weekends, provide some sound dating advice, read our very favorite porn descriptions, rave about the San Jose cat show, read some more terrible emails, time travel to the Macho Man's glory days, and lose the big award. Starring Scott Bromley, Brian Altano, Anthony Gallegos, Ryan Scott, and Max Scoville.

We're back for 2013 -- and it's time to discuss our New Year's adventures, hate on all those fun-havers, discuss the things you just can't do on Ikea furniture, go for a quick trip inside Brian's brain, shoot some guns, score some white trash digits, receive the most awkward massage ever, learn who might be a redneck, bring families together with our heartwarming 2012 clip show, curse all those curses, and stop sending us presents. Starring Scott Bromley, Brian Altano, Anthony Gallegos, Ryan Scott, and Max Scoville.

Holy swazzle stars! We've gotten through our first full year of this madcap craziness -- and in an effort to help ring in the new year (and to give your friends a handy jumping-on point when you finally talk them into listening to our weekly nonsense), we've compiled our best and funniest bits from the first 58 episodes of the Comedy Button. Oh boy! Starring Scott Bromley, Brian Altano, Anthony Gallegos, Ryan Scott, and Max Scoville. Starring Scott Bromley, Brian Altano, Anthony Gallegos, Ryan Scott, and Max Scoville.

Get into that holiday spirit by watching an almost certainly drunk-as-hell Tim Allen stumble his way through one of the most awkward Christmas "comedies" of all time, and laughing (or more like groaning) along with your hosts and commentators Scott Bromley, Brian Altano, Anthony Gallegos, Ryan Scott, and Max Scoville at his absolutely wretched parenting habits. This commentary is available in both NTSC and PAL formats, so make sure you grab the right one!

This week, Ryan gets involved in another Caltrain bloodbath, horse trailers are terrible places for horses, Anthony gets mugged, we keep an eye out for the candy criminals, police sketch artists make terrible drawings, we hate on (but secretly look forward to) The Hobbit, Chris Farley makes us pull the tragedy lever, we urge foster children to stop listening to the show, Hotel for Dogs is pretty much the perfect movie, we express our fears of parenthood, we recall how disgusting My Two Dads was, Max goes all Maxbergers about the history of Wassailing, and we pimp our 2012 holiday commentary track. Starring Scott Bromley, Brian Altano, Anthony Gallegos, and Max Scoville.

It's an all email episode! We tell some Helen Keller jokes, have some adventures in pumping our own gas, provide manbaby decor advice, shake our heads at underage girls with breast implants, brainstorm cheap presents, help a lesbian act gayer, interview Ryan, hear from a member of the Food Fight crew, open up some truly weird snail mail, and learn to fear Scott's new co-worker. Starring Scott Bromley, Brian Altano, Anthony Gallegos, Ryan Scott, and Max Scoville.

This week, Anthony had a birthday (and nobody got him a raccoon), we deduce that pothead posters and religious art are pretty much the same thing, adult spy gear and toy helicopters are the coolest things ever, we try to understand Ryan's antiquated audio/video setup, we tell our Thanksgiving tales, Max goes coocoo for pinatas, watching movies on laptops enrages Anthony, Scott's apartment has a nudity problem, Scott and Brain pit the gym for Jews vs. the gym for jocks, Anthony has terrible road rage, the homeless own the morning San Francisco commute, and Scott quits his job. Starring Scott Bromley, Brian Altano, Anthony Gallegos, Ryan Scott, and Max Scoville.

This week, we learn about Max's run-in with a high-level San Francisco hobo, go on surprise vacations, date older women, make fun of the dorks who wear Bluetooth earpieces, argue with backwater hicks, discuss current events that happened three weeks ago, hate the 1%, share our Justin Bieber and Selena Gomez love, get some hot Xbox Live dates, plan some bachelor parties, and lay down some drinking rules. Starring Scott Bromley, Brian Altano, Anthony Gallegos, Ryan Scott, and Max Scoville.

This week, we whine about movie credits that go by too fast, engage in some lesbian gym role-play, confirm that flasks are stupid, imagine Teenage Mutant Sex in the City, eat the Price Is Right's big wheel, teach Max a birthday raccoon fact, rave about Wreck-It Ralph, make fun of Food Fight, and explain why drunk texts to lady friends are never good. Starring Scott Bromley, Brian Altano, Anthony Gallegos, Ryan Scott, and Max Scoville.

This week, the nerds gang up on the bros for liking stupid baby games, and we discuss cutting the proverbial umbilical cord, recall fond memories of the Preview Channel, bemoan our lack of dreams, pitch the next award-winning flavor of Cap'n Crunch, remember the awesome books we read as children, share our weird substitute teacher stories, discuss Anthony's online dating experiences (or lack thereof), poke fun at '90s porn, and tell sordid tales of public transit brawls. Starring Scott Bromley, Brian Altano, Anthony Gallegos, Ryan Scott, and Max Scoville.

This week, we recall our first impressions of each other, future careers ruined by Google, the awfulness of Twilight, reading non-comprehension, Maxbergers syndrome, local sportsball championships, San Francisco's useless police force, fun with gas cans, helping elderly people call 9-1-1 for non-emergencies, and the Men's SWEARhouse. Starring Scott Bromley, Brian Altano, Anthony Gallegos, Ryan Scott, and Max Scoville.

Yes, before director Joel Schumacher ruined childhoods with Batman & Robin, he put Jack Bauer and Bill S. Preston in The Lost Boys -- a weird, slightly uncomfortable tale about creepy teenage vampires. So come along and join Comedy Button hosts Scott Bromley, Brian Altano, Anthony Gallegos, Ryan Scott, and Max Scoville on a journey into the land of the awkward dead. This commentary is available in both NTSC and PAL formats, so make sure you grab the right one!

Max shares a whole book of raccoon facts, while Anthony and Brian talk about the joys of moving furniture. Brian also met Anthony's father (and his car full of weapons), we talk about how retarded Star Wars is, and bemoan our lack of cool Lego toys. Also: We don't know what car engines do, but we ran across a crackhead a capella group and a few homeless people on the local awful commuter train. And, your mail is still terrible. Starring Scott Bromley, Brian Altano, Anthony Gallegos, and Max Scoville.

For our 50th episode not-so-spectacular, we talk about taking pictures of our butts as kids, Brian gives all his stuff away, Anthony hunts for tarantulas, no one understands how Max can have an Indian half-brother, everyone tells a sewer story, Brian is an upstanding citizen, we realize that we're getting old, we remember our weird neighbors, we rock out to L. Ron Hubbard's horse jams, Tom Cruise still sucks, Ryan hates the beach, we break down the science of DuckTales, and some podcasts will always be more awesome than ours. Starring Scott Bromley, Brian Altano, Anthony Gallegos, Ryan Scott, and Max Scoville.

This week, we consider the logistics of having sex in space, note that San Francisco is full of either tons of homeless people or werewolves, share some clown facts, express our feelings about less-abled people, have some plunger problems, read some Amazon reviews, recall our most favorite (and most brutal) middle school fights, discuss the things that should never be used in a store display case, learn all about face-slapping massage treatment (seriously -- this is a real thing), and talk up the annual Podcast Awards. Starring Scott Bromley, Brian Altano, Anthony Gallegos, Ryan Scott, and Max Scoville.

This week, we talk about impossible expectations for journalism, play "Indian Food or Star Wars Character," discuss the wild and wacky goings-on during the average San Francisco morning, get bored with our futuristic toys, reminisce on how crazy New York can be, laugh at dumb pigeons, laugh at dumb cartoons (and their marketing campaigns), choose between our theoretical daughters banging either Bret Michaels or the high school football team, read the worst revenge letter ever, hate on bad candy, talk about our froo-froo toys, and investigate some bedroom mysteries. Starring Scott Bromley, Brian Altano, Anthony Gallegos, and Ryan Scott.

This week, Ryan tries to get healthy, Mike & Ike break up, weird classmates turn into weirder adults, Max and Anthony go to Toys R Us (and deliver a Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles history lesson), Max winds up at a sad mall again, we ponder how animals pleasure themselves, Ryan shares his meticulous Indiana Jones notes, and we imagine a world without Guy Fieri. Starring Scott Bromley, Brian Altano, Anthony Gallegos, Ryan Scott, and Max Scoville.

We took a week off, so get over it! But now we're back to talk about awkward Tahoe trips, beer-buying logistics, the Beverly Hills Chihuahua 3 wrap party, autopsy animals, Brian's Charlotte's Web fan fiction, the Disney Concentration Camp, shoplifting from K-Mart in the '90s, what life is like in the Mrs. Doubtfire house, Kickstarters for sci-fi trash heaps, bad advice for bullied kids, lethal furniture, and insane Lego savants. Starring Scott Bromley, Brian Altano, Anthony Gallegos, Ryan Scott, and Max Scoville.

Apologies in advance for the audio screwiness this week. To make up for it, we tell you all about our trip to the zoo with our second VIP listener, where we watched a prison riot in the gorilla pen, learned about Max's fear of spiders, tried to steal pretzels from kids, took some low blows for the camera, acted like dirty thieves, met the world's funniest goat, and witnessed a race riot in the polar bear pen. We also find out why some of us would make horrible (or awesome) parents, Anthony whips out his metal detector, we discuss awkward re-gifting options, and Max tells us about his now-slightly-more-awkward work life. Starring Scott Bromley, Brian Altano, Anthony Gallegos, Ryan Scott, and Max Scoville, with special guest Davin Loh.

This week, we have the most athletic intro ever, mourn the loss of Nintendo Power, mourn the loss of the Sears Wishbook, share our Christmas wishes, learn one mustache's origin story, discover we're too old for Pokemon, recall our parents beating the crap out of us, beg Hollywood not to remake Problem Child, get angry at pretentious art, poop in space, learn how our special guest met his fiancee, learn about one cool band, and share Sweden bathroom stories. Starring Scott Bromley, Brian Altano, and Max Scoville, with special guests Samuel Claiborn and Mike Drucker.

This week, Max has a terrible werewolf movie pitch, Anthony gets hit on, the Golden Gate bridge gets hot and heavy, nurses rave about cat tranquilizers, Brian shoots himself, Max accidentally blows it, Scott discusses the horrors of Disneyland, we roll our eyes at Velcro wallets, we rant and rave about terrible reality shows, Anthony geeks out about Star Wars Celebration, we open some early Christmas presents, and Scott relays the secret history of one very special Vanilla Ice song. Starring Scott Bromley. Brian Altano, Anthony Gallegos, Ryan Scott, and Max Scoville.

Sex in the 1920s, live Harry Potter puppet shows, the Home Alone Band, reviews for nature trails, Ryan Scott's Excellent Virginity Adventure, the early days of cybersex, pithy email responses, Anthony's new OkCupid initiative, getting excited over household appliances, the continued ruination of the English language, number 2, sewer-worthy silverware, and extracurricular creativity. Starring Scott Bromley, Brian Altano, Anthony Gallegos, Ryan Scott, and Max Scoville.

This week's episode is all about our first group trip to California's Great America theme park, which included trashy people, some wild dancing, whorish preteens, a sweet airbrushed t-shirt, and garbage disguised as food. We also get an email from our saddest listener, hear the craziest story ever (courtesy of this week's special guest), and get some Anthony-targeted love advice from one of our female listeners. Starring Scott Bromley, Brian Altano, Anthony Gallegos, Ryan Scott, and Max Scoville, with special guest Greg Tarascio.

We discover that horse fights are terrifying, discuss our dream jobs, confirm that chinchillas are terrible animals, solve the mystery of the used condom and the toilet brush, learn to not be such packrats, examine Ryan's downtime, teach Anthony how to talk to girls, get an update from one of our listeners on his crazy girlfriend, recall one amazing '80s turn-of-phrase, learn about Ryan's international travel plans, and experience the death and return and death of Putnam Whipple. Starring Scott Bromley, Brian Altano, Anthony Gallegos, and Ryan Scott.

This week is all about Max getting hot oral (surgery), breaking into Brian's apartment after a night of drinking, helping Anthony pick up girls, guest host Jack DeVries' San Diego Comic-Con 2012 adventures, the sudden rise in cereal mascot crime, the miracle of courage, the true story behind all those Chuck E. Cheese vomit balls, open-door bathrooms policies, the scavenger hunt for a garbage can in a movie theater, the terrible and baffling stories that children tell, a great example of a terrible email, and charging your significant other for utilities in a relationship. Starring Scott Bromley, Brian Altano, Anthony Gallegos, and Ryan Scott, with special guest Jack DeVries.

This week, we learn all of Anthony's dirty iPad secrets, hear the world's longest manscaping story, share embarrassing secrets with our doctors, get stonewalled by Aeon Flux, remember our terrible family vacations, try to imagine Brian as a child, remember the good old days of Cracked Magazine, talk about Max's cartoon penguin-petting zoo trip, outline just how terrifying bugs are, pour some more salt on Max's daddy issues, discuss Anthony's gnarly sk8er boi-ness, and attempt to speedrun our terrible listener emails. Starring Scott Bromley, Brian Altano, Anthony Gallegos, and Max Scoville, with special guest Mike Drucker.

This week, after host Mike Drucker tells us what it was like working at Nintendo, we imagine which fantasy worlds we would want to live in, beat the dead Brony horse some more, discover that VidCon is the weirdest convention on the planet, talk about terrible music, find out where Max's mom didn't work, recall the strangest sex we've ever had, and learn all about Ryan Scott's fake birthday weekend. Starring Scott Bromley, Brian Altano, Anthony Gallegos, Ryan Scott, and Max Scoville, with special guest Mike Drucker.

This week, we learn that Donkey Kong Country is kinda racist, fix a car with a donkey, anger the Bronies (again), wonder whatever happened to Sinbad, consider naked skydiving, commit Press Your Luck suicide, distance ourselves from all the babies, discuss having children, make fun of fan fiction, reminisce about Fruit by the Foot, and open up about our fathers. Starring Scott Bromley, Brian Altano, Anthony Gallegos, Ryan Scott, and Max Scoville.

On this week's episode, Brian and Scott go to the beach, Clifford the Big Red Dog destroys everything, Gotham City is overrun by evil surf gangs, Brian tells the Bronies to get their lives together, sex in horse costumes gets complicated, Hasbro recycles the '80s on The Hub, geese are still jerks, Ryan is the worst superhero ever, and we recall breaking all our parents' stuff. Starring Scott Bromley, Brian Altano, and Ryan Scott, with special guest Jack DeVries.

This week, we remember the morning after the Alcoholocaust, discover we're definitely not experts in Asian culture, offer some bad advice in response to your terrible emails, confirm that geese are still jerks, get a shout-out from Radford University, discuss dinosaur porn at length, look like dorks, compare children to dogs, hate on Sunday comic strips, love high school football games (and the associated partying opportunities), discuss moving out of the states that suck, discover the worst Italian restaurant ever, find a sweater full of AIDS, and marvel at Burger King's latest monstrosity. Starring Scott Bromley, Brian Altano, Anthony Gallegos, Ryan Scott, and Max Scoville.

This week, two-thirds of our cast (including Max's girlfriend and special guest-star Jenn) gets drunk off of the worst booze known to mankind, while the resident manbabies (Anthony and Ryan) are semi-forced to eat terrible foreign candy. It's the Boozeocalypse, the Alcoholocaust, Wine/11 -- whatever you want to call it. You asked for it, people! Starring Scott Bromley, Brian Altano, Anthony Gallegos, Ryan Scott, and Max Scoville, with special guest Jenn Not-Yet-Scoville.

This week, Brian quit smoking and wants to kill us all, we explore the confusing logistics of being a monster, we never want to play video games with the Joydick, Ryan Scott hosts another Recipe Corner, living with survivalists would be insane, we explain that we are not licensed counselors, we want stupid teenagers to stop having babies, we talk about lots of dumb things we've done, we tell you about our crazy relatives, Ryan shares his Nintendo dreams, we reveal which porn images haunt us, we recall the lies our parents told us, and we consider how hysterical Hell would be. Starring Scott Bromley, Brian Altano, Anthony Gallegos, Ryan Scott, and Max Scoville.

This week, we talk all about wrestling moves that double as sex positions, those ridiculous Leprechaun movies, those ridiculous Child's Play movies, Brian's love for Hoarders, the store where manbabies go to die, RoboCop bubble bath, Captain Power toys, Anthony's childhood disdain for personal hygiene, Brian vs. the Amish, the Alcoholocaust, listeners' sex dreams (about us), things we never want to hear during sex, and how staying up too long will turn you into an insane person. Starring Scott Bromley, Brian Altano, Anthony Gallegos, Ryan Scott, and Max Scoville.

This week, Ryan is an accomplice to murder, Scott's dad is in the High School Sports Hall of Fame, drug dealers love cartoon characters, '80s WWF got really insane, Max tries to talk about comics, Ryan calls in from the Murder Train, geese are jerks, squirrels are awesome, Brian's mother is surprised that he isn't in jail, drunk college girls remind most of us why we're relieved we aren't single, and the toilet in Pee Wee's Playhouse hates his life. Starring Scott Bromley, Brian Altano, Anthony Gallegos, Ryan Scott, and Max Scoville.

This week, after a brief note about podcasting from SPAAAAACE, we chat about how Warhammer figures can save your life, how Santa Claus is always watching you, what happens when you throw toys into ceiling fans, childhood bullies, the porno magazine Max bought on his anniversary, American Stuffers (the greatest show ever), Star Wars character names vs. rapper names, Gremlins 2 (the greatest cartoon ever), Max's Cinco de Mayo Kentucky Derby story, rich people hunting the poor in San Francisco, giant dongs, and Sea World raves. Starring Scott Bromley, Brian Altano, Anthony Gallegos, and Max Scoville, with special guest Jack DeVries.

This week, we dive into naked stand-up, farting to end a conversation, Scott's podcast from 1986, Ralston brand cereals (and why they didn't make any sense), Transformers in real life, what episode to start on when checking out the GameSpy Debriefings, really racist email, the worst marriage proposal ever, themed weddings, making our future children do everything for us, fake New York movie gangs, the Haight Street Drug Deal game, shameful Google searches, the terrible life of a dog, and the worst of Ruby-Spears Productions' terrible cartoons. Starring Scott Bromley, Brian Altano, Anthony Gallegos, and Max Scoville, with special guest Mike Drucker.

It's the all-relationship episode, where we answer your letters and discuss how to get your lady to kiss you after she's been down there, guest-host Jack DeVries' sex bucket list, butt secks, what to do with a stack of money when you're single, why you shouldn't marry young, how Brian Altano lost his virginity, how Scott Bromley managed to masturbate to Hocus Pocus, growing up (and growing a pair), and relationship advice for cavemen. Starring Scott Bromley, Brian Altano, and Max Scoville, with special guest Jack DeVries.

This week, former GameSpy editor Will Tuttle joins us to talk about his babies and quiz Ryan on a bunch of things that may or may not be real food. We also talk about Double Dare and... a bunch of other stuff. It's a surprise! Oh boy! Starring Scott Bromley, Brian Altano, Anthony Gallegos, Ryan Scott, and Max Scoville, with special guest Will Tuttle.

This week, we discuss why Facebook sucks, why Tinychat makes us feel like we're cult leaders, how we found out our significant others were cool, how Ryan proposed to his wife, the strangest things that have happened to us during sex, how special guest Jack DeVries lost his virginity to Cool Dog, the horrors of hot dog stuffed pizza, attending a DJ battle, newspapers that cater to the homeless, how bullying has changed over the years, sad-faced soda spills, how to write a good email, almost getting murdered on a date, and Ryan Scott's cooking corner. Starring Scott Bromley, Brian Altano, Anthony Gallegos, and Ryan Scott, with special guest Jack DeVries.

This week, Max gets a drink thrown on him, Brian explains his hatred of Jonathan Taylor Thomas, Scott talks about the world's saddest aquarium, we recall how we learned how to swear, and we learn about "posh wanking." We also talk about popular-but-really-messed-up books, why our generation is a bunch of whiny manbabies, 100-year-olds and Internet age-gates, fat people not wanting to date fat people, urination awkwardness, more dumb press releases, people taking pictures of food with their phones, and the world's greatest rapper. Starring Scott Bromley, Brian Altano, Anthony Gallegos, Ryan Scott, and Max Scoville.

Oops! It looks like we've left a window open. Starring Jeff Green, Robert Ashley, Shawn Elliott, Anthony Gallegos, Sean Molloy, and Ryan Scott.

This week, we discuss weird ways to finish having sex, looking at Playboy Magazine as adults, awful summer camp stories, why we hate going to the movies, terrible press releases, handmade torture chambers, Ryan Scott's recipe corner, bad first dates, one listener's awkward homosexuality test, and truly miserable greeting cards. Starring Scott Bromley, Brian Altano, Anthony Gallegos, Ryan Scott, and Max Scoville.

This week's episode is all about fun with model rockets, causing massive amounts of destruction on the night before Halloween, Double Dare (and why it could never happen in 2012), Doug Funnie's impact on the masculinity of America, learning from Maxim magazine, the pitfalls of growing up too fast, another cooking lesson with Ryan Scott, the ghost of Brianna Altano, New Jersey's 2012 mother of the year, meeting a ghost in real life, horse dreams, and cleaning out our manbaby closets.

It's time to discuss homeless San Francisco hyenas, terrible children and the people who have them, Anthony on conciseness, Mario Party drinking games, dumb names for pets, the Ryan Scott Recipe Corner, Tinychat boobies, the transformation of Mr. Hyde into Dr. Jekyll, meeting celebrities, and Shannen Doherty's horrible life. Starring Scott Bromley, Brian Altano, Anthony Gallegos, and Ryan Scott.

This week, we stroke our chins and discuss Cheetos etiquette, Anthony's trip to the Image Expo, Star Wars has-beens, baby Wolverine (that is NOT Wolverine), real-life bar fights that aren't nearly as cool as the ones in the movies, Ryan's fighting techniques, Max vs. a human dinosaur, winter underwear, our least-favorite Internet slang, the pitfalls of computer voice recognition, and terrible listener email. Starring Scott Bromley, Brian Altano, Anthony Gallegos, Ryan Scott, and Max Scoville.

This week, Anthony talks about how much he hates fun, we explain exactly why the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles are the worst ninjas on the planet, Scott and Max discuss their weekend adventures with the Chinese mafia, half the cast pulls knives on the other half, we realize that "the South" is everywhere, some raccoons get trolled IRL, we tell you where NOT to go on a first date, and we wrap up with crack whores and babies. Starring Scott Bromley, Brian Altano, Anthony Gallegos, Ryan Scott, and Max Scoville.

This week on the Comedy Button, Max plays Santa Claus, Anthony hates on dumb holidays, Scott reviews his birthday gift, Ryan relates his excellent Valentine's Day adventure, we relive our '90s fashion nightmares, Brian admits to seeing Star Wars in 3D, we reminisce about our hometowns (and someone named Scary Gary), we tell you what to drink on your 21st birthday, Brian brings a most horrid makeshift projectile weapon to light, and we realize that old video games suck. Starring Scott Bromley, Brian Altano, Anthony Gallegos, Ryan Scott, and Max Scoville.

On this week's episode, we share our very special Toys-R-Us memories, recall some truly terrible Halloween costumes, marvel at the amazingness of the Sears Wishbook, cringe at stories of very drunk friends, ponder vegetarian options at steakhouses, consider camping out for Star Wars in 3D, talk about random trips to gay bars, discuss our biggest failures with women, and shake our heads over the weirdest birthday present ever. Starring Scott Bromley, Brian Altano, Anthony Gallegos, and Ryan Scott.

This week, the crew jokes about getting older, owning pets (and freaking them out), the greatest movie never made, being the coolest person at the worst job in the world, hot dates at Guitar Center, training dogs in order to impress women, things NOT to do with a woman, Jersey Shore spinoffs, video store nightmares, harsh listener reviews, and tainting work computers with pornography. Starring Scott Bromley, Brian Altano, Anthony Gallegos, and Max Scoville.

This week, we examine the science of gayness (according to our listeners), dumb Amazon wish lists, bus horror stories, setting tree fort traps for Vietcong burglars, porno jackpots, the sad life of the Duffel Bags PR guy, the Justice League vs. world hunger, the continued debate of fart politics and girlfriends, the rules of "OH SNAP!", listener questions, and Ryan's first girlfriend. Starring Scott Bromley, Brian Altano, Anthony Gallegos, Ryan Scott, and Max Scoville.

This week, we remember why our parents may or may not have thought we were gay during our bromances, how awesome ToyFare Magazine was, how lame some of our childhood toys (like neon Batman figures) were, how awesome others (like ThunderCats) were, how girls failed to remember that handsome Harvey Dent became Two-Face, and how the Real Housewives of Atlanta think black mannequins dressed as slaves can't actually have sex with them. Starring Scott Bromley, Brian Altano, Anthony Gallegos, and Max Scoville.

Put your mittens up, people! This week, we recorded an episode that sucked (so we scrapped it), and then we recorded this one (you get to be the judge of whether this one sucks too!) In any case, we say hello to Ryan Scott's bizarro rapper twin, examine the upper echelon of Snob Hill, discuss the pitfalls of OKCupid, give our advice for name-changing (short version: just rename yourself "Max" like Max did), listen to some terrible theme song submissions, consider having babies (or not), and mock the ridiculousness of truTV. Also: Vajazzling. Starring Scott Bromley, Brian Altano, Anthony Gallegos, Ryan Scott, and Max Scoville.

Our first episode of 2012 brings heartfelt discussion about local crack dealers, the kilometer-high club, horrible Christmas vacation antics, the worst food in the world, Cirque de Noel, Sonic's lowest moment, genius TV commercials, homeless Family Feud, Fleshlights for monkeys, Max's bizarre New Year's adventure, dangerous winter weather, bad Andre the Giant cosplay, bangin' out to Home Alone 2, and kickstarting a Kickstarter. Starring Scott Bromley, Brian Altano, Anthony Gallegos, Ryan Scott, and Max Scoville.

CHINA! INDIA! JAPAN! BRAZIL! Raul Julia's swansong takes place in none of these countries, and it's actually nothing like the video game at all. In fact, we're not really sure why this movie is called "Street Fighter" at all. Whatever the case, kick back and listen to us make fun of one of the worst video-game-to-movie adaptations of all time. YOU WIN! PERFECT! Starring Scott Bromley, Brian Altano, Anthony Gallegos, Ryan Scott, and Max Scoville.

Just in time for Christmas, it's our first official movie commentary -- and it's for that fun-filled 1992 torture porn classic, Home Alone 2: Lost in New York. Marvel at young (and sociopathic) Kevin McCallister's extreme aptitude for mercilessly assaulting hapless thieves within inches of their lives, and ring in those happy holidays with joyous cheers of "that guy should have permanent brain damage right now." It's fun for the whole family! So queue up your DVDs, grab a drink, and get ready for our expert analysis on what could quite possibly be the prequel to Saw. Starring Scott Bromley, Brian Altano, Anthony Gallegos, Ryan Scott, and Max Scoville.

In this week's mysteriously Ryan-free episode, we talk about junk in the trunk (and not the kind you're thinking of), awkward dining experiences, borderline stalking, fun freeway activities, wild bangout situations, Meerkat Manor, hillbilly hand-fishing, the world's worst vending machine guy, Revenge of the Nerds: The Series, more theme song submissions, outlasterbating, proper Fleshlight prep, getting cozy with the vacuum cleaner, the Japanese weather report, indecent proposals, Lindsay Lohan's recent Photoshop adventures, and people we like. Starring Scott Bromley, Brian Altano, Anthony Gallegos, and Max Scoville.

This week brings chatter about Pizza Club, womanbabies (i.e. the female analog to "manbabies"), Russian mail-order brides, more reasons why we'd never want to live in Australia, awkward bangout situations, pretending to like stuff that sucks, more awkward restaurant stories, Guntown, caveman games, music (our #1 competitor for some fans!), a lot of people we're grateful to, sex comma pets (it makes more sense when you hear it), and the dingbats at Threadless. Starring Scott Bromley, Brian Altano, Anthony Gallegos, Ryan Scott, and Max Scoville.

After leaving the world's worst tip at a local restaurant, we point out the rock-bottomness of Kmart, get cozy with some YouTube fetish porn, tell you all about the TV Hat, get some insight into portrait studio hell, read some pretty disturbing email (including one about either the world's worst or most awesome mom), discuss the Comedy Button dating game, share our Thanksgiving stories, run down the porno hot list, and listen to some pretty awesome fan-made theme songs. Starring Scott Bromley, Brian Altano, Anthony Gallegos, and Ryan Scott.

This week's verbal mayhem involves some real-life Beavis and Butt-head adventures (starring two drunk idiots named Brian and Max), awkward Las Vegas clubbing moments, zombie MILF pornstars, fun activities to indulge in while driving, the most insane tattoos ever, the sad state of Connecticut, money shots, fartistry (yes, that's spelled correctly), and drunken online dating antics in the wake of unfortunate breakups. Starring Scott Bromley, Brian Altano, Anthony Gallegos, Ryan Scott, and Max Scoville.

Today, we regale you with our journey to the time warp that is the Sears Portrait Studio, offer up some Miley Cyrus nudes, go to SPAAAAAAACCCCCEEEEEE (our own personal Caddyshack II), talk about a most interesting weirdo we met at a restaurant, make fun of dumb furries, examine Hanna-Barbera's foray into live-action films, talk about bangin' celebs, and discuss losing the big V. Starring Scott Bromley, Brian Altano, Anthony Gallegos, Ryan Scott, and Max Scoville.

This week, we recorded in the wake of Max's big 25th birthday celebration. It's time for some stories about not knowing how to tell time, some of the nastiest strippers we've ever seen, getting kicked out of cabs, Scott's completely insane girlfriend, the inevitable Alcoholocaust, riding the redneck short bus, frog dissections for the r-words, trolling our old substitute teachers, and our favorite kinds of hats (it's worse than it sounds). Starring Scott Bromley, Brian Altano, Anthony Gallegos, Ryan Scott, and Max Scoville.

This week, we celebrate Halloween with a bunch of boring Halloween non-stories because we're old and stupid. But we've got plenty of cartoon porn, professional masturbation, weird hairless cats, ice-breaking (literally), lonely basketball hoops, parent-child bonding, and giant dongs to discuss. We also learn whose to-do list Anthony is on (again, literally), and we mull over which celebrities we'd most like to pummel. Starring Scott Bromley, Brian Altano, Anthony Gallegos, Ryan Scott, and Max Scoville.

What do we do when our wives are out-of-town? What kinds of dumb Halloween costume is Scott Bromley cooking up? What sorts of disgusting conversations can we have about mayonnaise and other white substances? Are Louie Anderson and Roseanne Barr actually the same person? Just how awesome was ProStars? What sort of extracurricular delinquency did we indulge in during our high school years? And if we answer all this nonsense, will we finally be relevant enough for Wikipedia's editorial stamp of approval!? Starring Scott Bromley, Brian Altano, Anthony Gallegos, Ryan Scott, and Max Scoville.

This week on the greatest podcast known to mankind, it's time to find out what happened with one really drunk girl at Anthony's 10-year high school reunion, discuss alternative breast cancer charity ideas, talk about some weird-ass porn communities, harp on San Francisco's crazy homeless people, deliver a unique brand of nerd justice to filthy shoplifters, and who knows what else. Starring Scott Bromley, Brian Altano, Anthony Gallegos, Ryan Scott, and Max Scoville.

Holy bejeezus, it's the greatest podcast of all-time! Five guys who couldn't be more different than each other have banded together to infect your ears with second-hand stories of Natalie Portman's lunacy, fake-ass cartoon voice actors, drawing hot naked women, bumping uglies at high school reunions, the irritating plate-glass guys in Paperboy, dinner-eating dynamics, the wonders of funemployment, the true origins of the Masters of the Universe, getting sloshed on Pepto Bismol mixers, and plenty of other nonsense that you'll just have to listen to! Starring Scott Bromley, Brian Altano, Anthony Gallegos, Ryan Scott, and Max Scoville.