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Recovery Elevator

English, Fitness / Keep-fit, 1 season, 510 episodes, 4 days, 8 hours, 8 minutes
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It isn't a NO to alcohol, but a YES to a better life! Best selling author Paul Churchill, along with Kristopher Oyen interview people who have stepped away from alcohol in their own lives. Each week this podcast does a deep dive into an exploration of what a booze free life might look like from various perspectives and opinions. If you are sick and tired of alcohol making you sick and tired, we invite you to listen to Recovery Elevator. Check out what an alcohol free life can look like as others share their own stories of sobriety. If you are sober curious, newly sober, supporting a loved one or living your best life already in recovery, then you are in the right place.This podcast addresses what to do if you’re addicted to alcohol, or if you think you’re an alcoholic. Other topics include, does moderate drinking work, does addiction serve a purpose, what happens to the brain when we quit drinking, should you track sobriety time, is A.A. right for you, spirituality, and more. Similar to other recovery podcasts like This Naked Mind, the Shair Podcast, and the Recovered Podcast, Paul and Kris discuss a topic and then interview someone who has ditched the booze.
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RE 505: What is Recovery?

Episode 505 – What is Recovery?   Today we have Dave. He is 46 and lives in Boston. He took his last drink on March 5th, 2023.   Sponsors mentioned in this episode:   Better Help  - code ELEVATOR     There are two spots left on our next Alcohol-Free travel trip to Vietnam. This upcoming January 9th-20th, 2025, we’re heading to this incredible Southeast Asia paradise for 10 days and 11 nights with 25 travelers who are done nursing hangovers.   On January 1st, 2025, join us for Dry January. We meet 14 times as a group during the moth and the session days are Sundays, Mondays and Thursdays.   And in February, we are doing out first ever alcohol-free Singer/Songwriter course. In this six week course you’ll learn all about the song writing process, hear from professional musicians about how they write songs, and you’ll write and perfect your own song during the course. Experience with an instrument is recommended to required as this is not a “how to play and instrument” course.   [03:32] Thoughts from Paul:   Paul shares that when he first began his alcohol-free journey, the word “recovery” was loaded for him. He initially didn’t want anything to do with it and didn’t really understand what it meant.   In a post from Café RE a member named Adam shared a little about what recovery means to him. Paul expands on that commenting about what recovery means to him as well. Russell Brand sums it up pretty well by saying we are “recovering the person we are meant to be.” We have no chance of doing this with alcohol in our lives, or at least, many of us don’t.   There is no right or wrong way to ditch the booze and take what you want and leave the rest. Paul says he isn’t suggesting building your own program from scratch at the beginning. Pick a program or community and give it your all. If there is something that scares you, that’s where you need to go. Recovery is uncomfortable at first, but definite worth it.   [08:36] Paul introduces Dave:   Dave was born and raised in the Boston area. He has been married for 20 years and has two girls that are 16 and 13 years old. He enjoys all things sports including golf and spending time supporting his daughter who plays hockey. He also enjoys reading and exercise.   Dave grew up in a tight knit family with a father that had chronic illness. He says that his father’s illness as well as the illnesses of other family members really shaped his life, and he never felt safe.   Dave witnessed his parents drink, but never saw them drunk. He avoided drinking throughout high school as a rule follower and it created anxiety for him when he did.   In college, he did drink a bit on the weekends, but nothing crazy. Dave says once he recognized that the drinking stopped some anxiety, that is when a problem developed. He would drink casually on the weekdays and more on the weekends. As life began to be a little more stressful after having kids, every social even revolved around having drinks. Since drinking helped him feel safe, he started doing it more frequently over time.   A health scare had Dave thinking about his drinking for the first time. He didn’t quit right away but did start seeing a therapist and talking about it. He decided to quit for a while, but never committed to it long term. Dave started drinking again and it increased gradually over time. Over the next few years, it increased in quantity and frequency.   Another health event 18 months ago found Dave realizing he needed to commit to quitting. His first week was really tough with anxiety and poor sleep. Podcasts and therapy along with joining Café RE were very helpful for Dave. After several months, it was his wife that helped him realize that he is now a non-drinker. For Dave the top three benefits of being AF are a clear mind, presence and confidence.   Dave’s parting piece of guidance: Just do it and stay with it.   Recovery Elevator You took the elevator down, got to take the stairs back up. You can do this.     RE on Instagram RE merch Recovery Elevator YouTube Sobriety Tracker iTunes       
10/21/202454 minutes, 39 seconds
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RE 504: A Dopamine Feast

Episode 504 – A Dopamine Feast   Today we have Don. He is 44 and lives in Clarkson, MI. He took his last drink on November 15th, 2021.   Sponsors mentioned in this episode:   Better Help  - code ELEVATOR     The theme for this podcast is I am Here, I am Whole. What does that mean? It means, that in this moment, the only moment that has ever mattered or ever existed, I choose to be here, and I will view myself as whole.   Please don’t kick the can of wholeness, authenticity and self-love down the road. It has to be now.   [04:22] Thoughts from Paul:   Paul shares that he really enjoyed the book Dopamine Nation by Dr. Anna Lembke, minus one part of it that talks about a dopamine fast as a way to beat an addiction.   A recent NYT article summarizes why Paul doesn’t like the dopamine fast idea. It has to do with the quote that “it’s less about quitting drinking, and more about creating a life that doesn’t require alcohol”. There are many healthier ways to release dopamine, such as hobbies you enjoy, that don’t involve your drug of choice. Trying new things helps us release dopamine as well.   The last paragraph of the article says “consequently, America’s problem isn’t that we’re a bunch of hedonists hooked on capitalism’s dopamine hits, it’s that so many of us aren’t able to get our social, physical and emotional needs met in healthy ways. Instead of a dopamine fast, we need a dopamine feast - one that makes us want experiences we actually like, rather than compulsively responding to craving”.   [08:36] Paul introduces Don:   Don is an anesthesiologist, and he lives in Clarkston, MI. He started enjoying traveling since his mid-30s and has been to 30 countries, five continents and heading to Antarctica at the end of the year. Don is a big fan of sports and roots for the teams out of Detroit.   Alcohol always seemed to have a positive light around it when Don was younger. Whether it was a gathering or party the adults seemed more relaxed, happy and silly. It always seemed like something to look forward to when he got older. Being more of a goody-two-shoes, Don says, he didn’t try alcohol until the summer after school ended. He recalls feeling like he was comfortable in his own skin and his racing thoughts relaxed. Don says he was immediately someone that couldn’t stop drinking once he started.   Don says his 20s were spent in school and would drink heavily maybe once a month. In his 30s after graduating and feeling he achieved all of his goals, he wondered “what’s next?” Don says that alcohol didn’t answer the question, but it prevented him from having to answer it. Don says that he realized he was gay as a young man and never wanted to deal with it. Drinking helped him push that away too.   COVID sped up the inevitable, Don says. Having more time off work due to less surgeries being performed; Don would start drinking more on his off days. Once work became busy again, he’s drinking continued where it was and started affecting his work. When Don arrived at work still drunk after a Labor Day weekend binge, he says receiving a call from his boss was relief.   When Don started rehab, he knew he was going to need to address being gay in addition to having a drinking problem. After completing rehab, Don began attending a program for health professionals that gives him the accountability he needed.   Don says AA is a big part of his life now. He says he enjoys the community and accountability. He is testing out dating to see if it’s something that he wants to do. After falling in love with Costa Rica, he decided to build a house there. The greatest gift Don says he was given in sobriety is the ability to be present.   Don’s parting piece of guidance: Just start. You’ve got to start somewhere and if that’s rehab, than so be it. Take a break from your job, people will be much more supportive than you think they will.   Recovery Elevator You took the elevator down, got to take the stairs back up. I love you guys.     RE on Instagram RE merch Recovery Elevator YouTube Sobriety Tracker iTunes       
10/14/202453 minutes, 37 seconds
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RE 503: It Takes What It Takes

Episode 503 – It Takes What It Takes   Today we have Leah from Akron, OH. She took her last drink on September 4th, 2022.   Sponsors mentioned in this episode:   Better Help  - code ELEVATOR   Tonight is our first session of our Ditching the Booze Mindfulness course. It will be on Monday nights at 7:30 EST for the next five weeks. This course will teach you the basics of mindfulness and mediation. It is included with Café RE membership. Visit Café RE to sign up if you aren’t already a member.   Speaking of Café RE, our community is no longer on Facebook. We have found a new home that is off social media, and it now has an app that you can find in the app stores.   [03:28] Thoughts from Paul:   The only thing harder than forgiveness is the opposite – resentments. It is important that we begin with forgiving ourselves.   It takes what it takes for you to get sober and quit drinking. There is no set pathway into and out of a drinking problem. Paul believes this is one of the reasons why alcohol-free communities are so non-judgmental, loving and accepting. Those who have quit drinking know that it takes what it takes.   Paul shares some “it takes what it takes” stories from himself and others working on their alcohol-free journey. Never quit quitting and you will find your way. It takes what it takes.   [08:20] Paul introduces Leah:   At the time of recording, Leah is celebrating 2 years alcohol-free. She grew up in Akron Ohio, she is 36 and just got married, they have a 3-month-old daughter. For fun Leah enjoys hiking, singing, hanging out with friends and spending time with her baby.   Leah shares the story of what drove her to make the decision to quit drinking. After waking up on a bench next to a river and realizing that she was barefoot and had walked over a mile in a blackout, she feared what might happen next if she continued to drink.   Leah began drinking in high school and felt that it gave her courage to be herself. She says she was always addicted to that feeling. After leaving a bad relationship to an alcoholic, Leah started dating her now-husband. He is a normal drinker and Leah felt safe with him.   Leah says over time her drinking increased and the blackouts started. She says she isn’t the same person when she drinks and would often get angry and start fights with her partner. Waking up feeling regret and shame and promising she wouldn’t do it again became commonplace for Leah.   It was Leah’s therapist through Betterhelp that suggested she check out some podcasts and that’s how Leah stumbled upon RE. She says she just started listening from the beginning and found the interviews with others very helpful and she no longer felt alone in this battle.   Leah says since quitting drinking, she has lost weight and feels better overall. The first year she struggled with boredom since drinking was her hobby. She has been working on her unresolved childhood trauma and learning how to be herself without drinking. Leah’s emotions have leveled out and she no longer gets angry as often as she used to. Leah and her husband are still able to share the same hobbies, and she now drinks NA beers. Cravings have not been a big issue for her, she remembers how bad the following days were when she would drink, and it helps her stay grounded.   In the future, Leah would like to have another child, but she is comfortable where she is right now.   Leah’s parting piece of guidance: one day at a time.   Recovery Elevator Go big, because eventually we all go home I love you guys     RE on Instagram RE merch Recovery Elevator YouTube Sobriety Tracker iTunes       
10/7/202444 minutes, 32 seconds
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RE 502: The Tallest Tree in the World

Episode 502 – The Tallest Tree in the World   Today we have Kurtis. He is 32 from Seattle, WA and took his last drink on October 12th, 2023.   Sponsors mentioned in this episode:   Better Help  - code ELEVATOR   AG1   Paul loves pickles but doesn’t love to be in them. When it comes to drinking, this quote shows up often: “When I controlled my drinking, I didn’t enjoy it. When I enjoyed my drinking, I couldn’t control it.” That is a good example of what it is like to be in a pickle with your drinking.   DTB Mindfulness course starts Monday October 7th for 5 weeks. This course is for Café RE members only, and we would love for you to join us!  Visit Café RE to sign up if you aren’t already a member.   [03:32] Thoughts from Paul:   While the tallest tree on the planet currently is a redwood but it would be the Douglas Fir if we stopped cutting them down. Scientists theorize the highest a tree can pull water up it’s roots is 480 feet and that’s how big the Douglas Fir trees were back in the early 1800’s before we began harvesting them.   Paul shares with us his love of trees and how they have helped him on his recovery journey. He also shares some facts about how indigenous people around the world are healthier than we are and how many of them use trees as a source of wholeness that cure physical ailments and mental health conditions.   When looking for connection, don’t overlook the trees in your back yard that are holding the soil in place. Nature should 100% be part of your recovery portfolio.   [10:07] Paul introduces Kurtis:   Kurtis currently lives in Seattle, WA and is originally from Detroit. He has two cats and is a musician and a mixing engineer. He says he used to use drinking as a way to be creative and says it has been interesting to figure out his relationship with music without drinking.   Kurtis says he didn’t drink much in his younger years. He took his first drink at age 21. He was in a lot of bands after moving to Seattle. He would bring beer to practice which quelled his anxiety.   After Kurtis was diagnosed with ADHD in 2020, he started taking medication that helped him focus. He admits he took more than prescribed and would then utilize alcohol to help him go to sleep. When waking up with a hangover, his medication would help him combat it. It was a vicious cycle, Kurtis says.   Kurtis knew he had issues but couldn’t determine whether it the pills or the drinking that was causing the problem. He was having a hard time going more than a few days without drinking and often found himself drinking in the morning. After failed moderation attempts, he ended up having to quit both the alcohol and the medication at the same time in October of 2023.   When he made the decision to quit, Kurtis says there were a lot of small rock-bottom moments that led him to it. Kurtis shared that it was tough quitting both things at the same time. He was worried that his productivity would decrease when he had to stop taking the medication. The drinking was slightly easier, however. Without taking the stimulant he wasn’t feeling so much anxiety at the end of the day which diminished his desire to drink.   Kurtis started finding other activities to fill his time and began to see great results. He was walking a lot, began to lose weight, and started feeling really good. He was able to recognize that quitting drinking opened up a lot of doors for him to feel better. He is more present with others and feels more confident in general.   Kurtis shares that the RE podcast has been helpful along with the Reddit Stop Drinking group. Talking about his journey with others has also helped a lot.   Kurtis’ parting piece of guidance: moderation, research and failing is all part of the process. It’s important to be kind to yourself and not feel like you have to match what others are doing.   Recovery Elevator You took the elevator down, you got to take the stairs back up. We can do this.   RE on Instagram RE merch Recovery Elevator YouTube Sobriety Tracker iTunes       
9/30/202448 minutes, 40 seconds
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RE 501: The Camaraderie of Sobriety

Episode 501 – The Camaraderie of Sobriety   Today we have Kendra. She is 36 years old from Alexandria, MN and took her last drink on March 22nd, 2024.   Sponsors mentioned in this episode:   Better Help  - code ELEVATOR   There are 4 million podcasts on iTunes with tens of millions of episodes. Do you want to know what the #1 downloaded episode was, for two years straight? Is was an episode titled - What Alcohol Does to your Body, Brain and Health, by the Stanford Neuroscientist Andrew Huberman.   All new registrations for Café RE will be added to our community, which is no longer on Facebook. We have found a place that allows us to make these connections better. Beginning October 1st, all current members will start shifting over there as well.   The theme for this podcast is I am Here, I am Whole. These lyrics mean that yes, we can fix, we can make changes, but while listening to this podcast, reinforce the fact that you are not broken. We are all perfectly imperfect, but in this moment, we are all here and we are all whole.   [06:15] Thoughts from Paul:   Paul shares a story about a recent situation involving his goat Hot Dog and some wiring on his truck. After attempting and failing to fix the issue himself, Paul took his truck to the shop where he purchased the truck topper.   After several hours of troubleshooting and referencing the vehicle’s owner manual, they found a fuse had blown. This was five weeks after the incident. What Paul didn’t know was that his taillights had been out as well. The man said that Paul was lucky the cops didn’t pull him over for a DUI. Paul quickly shared that he had quit drinking to which the man replied that he had as well. The conversation continued for a bit about their mutual sobriety.   One thing Paul has recognized in recovery is that the many teams, committees and organizations he has being involved with are no match for the camaraderie of sobriety. He encourages us to leverage the fact that you don’t drink to make deeper connections.   [08:44] Paul introduces Kendra:   Kendra is 36 and has lived her life in Minnesota all her life. She is an RN that works with kidney doctors. For fun Kendra enjoys outdoor activities, spending time with her daughter and has been getting into meditation lately.   About six years ago, Kendra started recognizing that drinking wasn’t fostering anything positive in her life. She was going through some major life changes and found herself reevaluating things. Kendra says she didn’t have an off switch and found herself drinking too much and being hungover most of the next day. She began to try to quit drinking but found it difficult and she would give into peer pressure a lot.   Over the last three years, Kendra attempted many moderation techniques. She was using a sobriety tracker to see her progress. She started bringing NA options to events, and even if she would still drink, she acknowledges that it was less. While there were no stereotypical rock-bottom events, Kendra recognizes that everyone’s rock bottom looks different.   Also, over the last several years Kendra started listening to podcasts about recovery and found the book This Naked Mind by Annie Grace which she feels helped her. She says everything was lining up to push her towards what life could look like without alcohol.   Kendra said she only had eight drinks from January to March this year. Her quit date is a few days after her father’s 39th sobriety anniversary. Kendra says that listening to other’s stories has been helpful. She finds that being prepared and planning before going to social functions is important.   Kendra’s best sober moment: where she can be present with her daughter and remember everything.   Kendra’s parting piece of guidance: keep it simple and just try to keep logging those days. One decision at a time and focus on your overall health.   Recovery Elevator You took the elevator down, you got to take the stairs back up. We can do this.   RE on Instagram RE merch Recovery Elevator YouTube Sobriety Tracker iTunes       
9/23/202445 minutes, 18 seconds
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RE 500: I am Here, I am Whole

Episode 500 – I Am Here, I Am Whole   Today we have Brady. He is 43 years old from Denver, CO and took his last drink on July 18th, 2023.   Whatever day you are on, we want to hear it, see it and support you. On Sundays, head on over to RE on Instagram and post on our Roll Call. Let the world know where you are at.   There are still a few spots open on our next Alcohol-Free travel trip to Vietnam. This upcoming January 9th-20th, 2025, we’re heading to this incredible Southeast Asia paradise for 10 days and 11 nights with 25 travelers who are done nursing hangovers.   Starting Monday September 16th, all new registration for Café RE will be added to our community, which is no longer on Facebook. We have found a place that allows us to make these connections better. Beginning October 1st, all current members will start shifting over there as well.   Sponsors mentioned in this episode:   Better Help  - code ELEVATOR   [03:57] Thoughts from Paul:   For 500 straight Mondays, Recovery Elevator has released an episode with someone sharing how they quit drinking. We do this to help, to serve, and also selfishly since Paul and all members of the team are also on this AF journey.   Paul started this podcast in 2015 and just celebrated 10 years since his last drink. He shares how he started the Recovery Elevator Sobriety Tracker. He also shares that since starting, we now have Café RE, have done five international sober travel trips, have had 15 official RE retreats, and over 1500 people have signed up for our courses. Paul shares what he is most happy about are the gains in his personal life. He is married and has a three-month-old son and is well into a creating a life that no longer requires alcohol.   The lyrics to the new intro song: “I am here, I am whole” remind us that there is nothing wrong with us, we are not fractured, and we can correct the imbalance in our lives. And we don’t have to do it alone.   I am Here, I am Whole on Spotify:    [11:00] Paul introduces Brady:   At the time of recording, Brady just celebrated one year alcohol free!   Paul and Brady have been friends for a very long time, and both acknowledge that it’s good be on the other side of their drinking times to now sharing sobriety with one another.   Brady and lives in the suburbs of Denver, he is 43 years old and is a realtor and formerly a high school teacher. Brady is married and they have a five-year-old son.   Brady says he drank more than the average high school student. He thinks his drinking in college was on par with normal for that time of life. It wasn’t until his late thirties that he started to realize that his relationship with alcohol wasn’t good. He feels that the time during COVID just normalized drinking at home for him. It became an everyday thing, and he slowly stopped having any interest in anything other than drinking.   An acute panic attack one night found him feeling empty. When he talked to his mom about it, she asked if he had been drinking. It was then that he started to connect the dots and was on the road to exploring the role alcohol had in his life. He never considered himself an alcoholic, but knew he was not living the life he wanted to.   Since quitting drinking, Brady has lost 20 pounds, is says he is more aware of what he is doing and it’s more purposeful. Brady has discovered that everything is clearer now. He mentions listening to The Huberman Lab podcast about alcohol really helped him in addition to Alan Carr’s book about quitting drinking. Learning what alcohol really does to us has been an important tool for Brady. He has not attended AA but had a lot of support from people around him and was comfortable sharing with them. Brady has shifted his identity to no longer being a dude that drinks.   Brady’s parting piece of guidance: just do it, find those resources that will help you.     Recovery Elevator You took the elevator down, you got to take the stairs back up. We can do this.      
9/16/202449 minutes, 13 seconds
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RE 499: Get Your Roll On

Episode 499 - Get Your Roll On   Today we have Kerri. She is 55 years old, lives in Redding, CA and took her last drink on March 2nd, 2022.   Sponsors mentioned in this episode:   Better Help  - code ELEVATOR Soberlink – receive $50 off of a device Better Rhodes – code RECOVERYELEVATOR15 RiseUp Coffee Athletic Brewing Sarilla   [02:47] Thoughts from Paul:   Prior to AA, alcoholism was considered a fatal disease. In less than 100 years, so much progress has been made in how alcoholism is viewed and treated. Now there is 100% a way out.   We now know the most potent antidote to addiction is connection. And this looks like community, preferably one that contains a lot of laughter, which we have all heard is the best medicine.   Paul shares with us that when he was crafting the recent Bozeman Retreat’s itinerary, he spent a lot of time thinking about one of the activities he was considering: a Skee-Ball tournament. The retreat is already full of the standard heavy hitters of share groups, breathwork, etc. but he wanted to try something different. Check out the pictures of the event in the post today: RE on Instagram   So, 100 years ago, it was shock therapy and isolation to cure alcoholism. Today it’s Skee-Ball, laughter, and connection.   [10:34] Kris introduces KMac:   Kerri is 55 years old and lives in Redding, CA. She has two adult daughters and five grandchildren. She is married and they have two dogs. For fun, Kerri has recently gotten into ultrarunning. She works full time for RE/Café RE as the community manager and event coordinator.   Kerri says she started drinking in high school and was a blackout drinker from the beginning. She and her first husband drank a lot during their marriage, and it escalated for Kerri after their divorce.   Kerri became a teacher later in life, but her drinking caused her to lose multiple teaching jobs over the course of a few years. She was involved with her local AA group and had a sponsor during this time. She ended up joining Café RE and rather quickly, volunteered to help do the show notes for the podcast. Over time her involvement with RE evolved.   Kerri had over a year alcohol free before the binge drinking returned. She had stopped counting days and recognized that it made it easier for her to drink. Currently days are very important to Kerri.   As Kerri began working more for RE, she feels that it took away the community for her. She didn’t feel comfortable sharing her struggles within the groups because of her role.   Knowing that she couldn’t recover alone, Kerri began to open up and have tough conversations with the RE team. She was at the point where she was feeling like she was never going to be able to quit and found herself, with the encouragement of others, making the decision to go to inpatient rehab.   Kerri says that being The Hab was tough at first and a lot of the people there were younger than her. After finding a good counselor and therapist, she was able to finally start opening up and sharing. At the end of 60 days, it was recommended she continue, so she stayed an additional 30.   After leaving she continued to do what she was doing while she was in rehab, which helps. She used to question why she drank like she did, but over time has decided it doesn’t matter.   Kerri says the biggest thing she has learned about herself is the importance of truly believing she is worthy. She is now able to recognize when she has feelings and being able to share them. She is more likely to ask for help when she needs it.   To the listener that is experiencing their own version of pacing around the living room not wanting to drink, Kerri wants to remind them that it’s not too late, this doesn’t have to be who you are or the road that you go down, you are worth asking for help and there is a community out there that are willing to walk that path with you.   Kerri’s first episode: RE Episode 255   Recovery Elevator You’re the only one that can do this, but you don’t have to do it alone. Love you guys.   Recovery Elevator YouTube Sobriety Tracker iTunes   
9/9/202453 minutes, 31 seconds
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RE 498: Be The Light

Episode 498 – Be the Light   Today we have Ava. She is 17 years old and lives in Central North Dakota. She has been sober since October 13th, 2006.   Sponsors for this episode:   Visit Better Help today to get 10% off your first month   [03:16] Meat and Potatoes Time:   A few months ago, after a lot of prayer and consideration, Kris had a tough call with Paul. While he enjoys his job as podcast host immensely, his life has been changing. His kids are getting older and busier, and he has opportunities to step up his investment in his local community.   Kris shares what this podcast has meant to him both as an interviewer and as a long-time listener. All of our stories have values, and he reminds us of the importance of being a light. No one lights a lamp and then covers it with a wash tub or shoves it under a bed. You set it up on the lampstand so that those who enter the room can see their way.   We each have a light in us that is meant to shine.    [10:18] Kris introduces Ava:   Today Kris is speaking with a very special guest: Ava, his 17-year-old daughter. She works as a nanny and works front desk at a gym. For fun, Ava likes to read and spend time with her friends.   Ava shares that the first time she became aware of alcohol’s presence in her life was when she was around ten. She noticed that her dad always had beer. She didn’t recognize that alcohol was causing a problem in her environment until her parents separated, Dad went to rehab, and they explained things to her.   Anxiety was common for Ava during this time. Her mom and dad were fighting a lot, and weren’t very present at home, and she found herself looking after her little brother more and more. Ava didn’t feel like she had an outlet to share her feelings. She was left feeling like she wasn’t good enough and trying to be a people pleaser and take care of others.   Ava remembers the last years of Kris drinking as being hard. She had been told that her dad was staying at the lake because it was closer to his work. She didn’t realize what was going on until she heard her mother on the phone talking about a divorce. Ava says that was hard to hear. Her parents were trying to protect the kids from what was going on. Ava says that this was a very difficult time for her. Her anxiety was up, and she started internalizing that she was the problem for her parents   Going through the transition to middle school was a hard time for Ava. Her anxiety had increased, and she tried really hard to make things go right there since she felt so much instability at home. She was crushed when she and her brother were told their parents were separating.   Kris started rehab and was spending as much time with the kids as possible. Time together helped them rebuild a healthy relationship. Ava says some of the anxiety went away and when it comes up for her now, she knows how to deal with it.   These days Ava enjoys the time they all spend together as a family. She feels much more comfortable and open with her parents now that things are calmer at home. Having a relationship with God and friends at church and school has been helpful for Ava.   Ava looks forward to graduating high school and plans to become a counselor. She has the desire to help people who are going through some of the things she has and mental health in general.   Ava’s advice for folks going through tough times: taking it one step at a time, it doesn’t have to be a big light-switch change   Ava’s parting piece of guidance for those thinking about sobriety: do it. It is probably the best choice you can make for yourself and those around you.   Ava’s advice for a loved one of someone with addiction: know that they are loved and valuable and would encourage them to find someone they trust that they can talk to because they are not alone.   Recovery Elevator You’re the only one that can do this, but you don’t have to do it alone. Love you guys.   RE on Instagram RE merch Recovery Elevator YouTube Sobriety Tracker iTunes   
9/2/202455 minutes, 45 seconds
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RE 497: I Can’t - You Can - Take it

Episode 497 – I Can’t – You Can – Take It   Today we have Shelby. She is 38 years old and from Windsor Ontario. She took her last drink on December 23rd, 2023.   Sponsors for this episode:   Visit Better Help today to get 10% off your first month   Visit Exact Nature use code RE20 to save 20% off of your order   [04:10] Thoughts from Paul:   Paul seeks to soften the entry point to AA and simplify the first three steps.  For many the steps are intimidating. They are nebulous, part dogmatic and for some there are simply too many God or higher power references. But the do make it clear many times that this God (higher power) is of your understanding. You can even use a red stapler as your higher power – they will fully support you.   The first three steps of AA: 1)    We admitted we are powerless over alcohol 2)    We came to believe that a power greater than ourselves could restore us to sanity 3)    We decided to turn our will and our lives over to the care of God as we understood him.   Which can be broken down to: 1)    I can’t 2)    You can 3)    Take it   Paul says he feels the most powerful part of AA isn’t the God stuff, it’s the group. The group is always stronger than the individual.   I can’t, the group can. Here you go. I’ll see you all again tomorrow.   [10:18] Paul introduces Shelby:   Shelby is 38 years old, lives in Windsor Ontario and works for a car manufacturer on the assembly line. For fun Shelby enjoys all sports, camping and hiking.   In high school Shelby was very athletic. When she was 15, she decided to focus on hockey and made it onto a junior team. She learned about hockey culture and part of that is drinking and partying. Due to traveling and playing hockey Shelby didn’t have time to drink much during high school. While attending a development camp for hockey, Shelby had an injury that put her on the side lines. Throughout her time at Ohio State, doctors would tell her she was fine as she continued to suffer injuries that eventually required surgery. Shelby had dreamed of going to the Olympics and never considered she might not be able to.   She left school early and felt like a failure. Shelby knew her drinking was already an issue, and she needed a change of scenery. Shelby says she didn’t have an identity outside of being an athlete. Alcohol and being social became a distraction for her and she avoided playing hockey for a long time.   The older she got; the more Shelby didn’t feel like she had accomplished anything. Life after being an athlete was tough for her. Around 30 years old she realized she needed to make some healthy changes. She accepted an offer to play hockey with some friends and ended up getting coaching opportunities afterwards. She decided to do it and since she was getting back in shape, she decided to quit drinking for three months which led to almost two years.   After losing a close uncle, Shelby drank after his funeral. She continued to drink for a few years and tried using moderation techniques. At an alumni game, she was not able to play due to an unhealed injury. She showed up drunk and ended up losing her coaching job. After this she decided to quit drinking again.    Since quitting this time around, Shelby has started attending therapy. This has helped her uncover some of her issues. She does not care for AA and says in the beginning it was hard doing things that she used to do while drinking. Shelby deals with cravings by going for walks, listening to podcasts and using her quit drinking app. She enjoys doing things that she missed out on when she was younger. Shelby also looks forward to trying new things and traveling. Her clarity is so much better, and she loves that she knows she can make plans and keep them.   Shelby’s parting piece of guidance: start today and start small and take it slow.   Recovery Elevator We took the elevator down; we have to take the stairs back up. I love you guys. We can do this.   RE on Instagram RE merch Recovery Elevator YouTube Sobriety Tracker iTunes   
8/26/202448 minutes, 40 seconds
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RE 496: One Way Street

Episode 496 – One Way Street   Today we have James. He is 40 years old and lives in Melbourne, Australia. He took his last drink on November 20th, 2023.   Sponsors for this episode:   Visit Better Help today to get 10% off your first month   Visit Exact Nature use code RE20 to save 20% off of your order   [04:16] Thoughts from Paul:   The Paris Olympic Committee opted to not sell alcohol. They were confident that they could have successfully applied to sell alcohol but still decided not to. In an article from NBC News, it mentioned the following: “While many people enjoy a casual drink, that’s not always the case. According to estimates by the French Public Health Society, 49,000 people are killed a year by alcohol consumption, which also causes 120 billion euros in damages.” Them choosing not to sell alcohol proves that things are changing around the globe regarding alcohol consumption.   Expanding on the topic of staying the course from last week’s episode, Paul shares that sobriety is a one-way street. He has yet to hear a story where someone with alcohol-free has gone back to drinking and was happy with the decision.   The common theme when it comes to what drove them back to alcohol was that they drifted from the AF community and attended less meetings or stopped altogether. They second part of this is they all said it was not a pleasant experience and many ended up right back where they were.   Do not beat yourself if you do some field research. We often need those reminders to reinforce internally that you made the right decision. Paul says he hasn’t met a single person who said they made the wrong choice when they decided to choose an alcohol-free life.   [11:03] Kris introduces James:   James lives in a rural area south of Melbourne, Australia. He is married with two kids, enjoys going to the gym and recently started playing football again.   James says he had a normal upbringing. He put a lot of pressure on himself and felt like he was always being watched. Alcohol entered his life when he was around 14 and drinking helped him turn things off as an escape and he felt freedom.   At 18, James moved out of his parent’s home with some older friends and was drinking on extended weekends but still very functional. When he was 20, he ended up moving to London where he felt complete freedom to do whatever he wanted, including living in a pub. James continued the weekend binge drinking with very little consequence.   After moving back to Australia in his late 20’s, James started a successful business and met the woman who is now his wife. Over time his feelings of not being “good enough” in many areas of his life were very stressful and found James drinking more to self-medicate and disconnect.   Towards the end of his drinking, James says he and his wife were very disconnected. He was acting out and taking a lot of risks. After confronting him one day, James told her his life was a mess and she told him it was either rehab or leaving. James opted for the easier option of leaving and chose an Airbnb close to a pub where he could drink and gamble. After a few days of this bender, his wife showed up and lovingly took him home. He started doing research but was scared to commit to inpatient care due to running his business.   James eventually found an outpatient treatment that would suit him. He has been alcohol-free ever since. Working on his connections with his family is something James is really proud of. He looks forward to doing the step work with his sponsor in AA and growing stronger spiritually.   James’ biggest fear around quitting: feeling his feelings and having to digest them.   James’ favorite resources in recovery: Recovery Elevator podcast and a book with spiritual principles for each day that he can meditate on.   James’ parting piece of guidance: Stick to it, keep showing up day by day and the magic happens down the track.   We are the only ones that can do this RE, but we don’t have to do it alone. I love you guys.   Recovery Elevator YouTube Sobriety Tracker iTunes   
8/19/202458 minutes, 16 seconds
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RE 495: Stay the Course

Episode 495 – Stay the Course   Today we have Robbie. He is 28 years old from Palm Springs, CA and took his last drink on January 4th, 2024.   Sponsors for this episode:   Visit Better Help today to get 10% off your first month   Visit Sober Link to sign up and receive $50 off a device.   [4:28] Thoughts from Paul:   You are listening to this podcast because you’ve correctly identified that alcohol is what is holding you back. You see that alcohol isn’t delivering what was promised.   Your inner guidance to quit drinking, to explore what that would look like is correct. Stay the course. You’re inner voice is spot on. You are on the right path.   Paul shares his struggles with finding homeostasis after welcoming his child into the world. He feels his nervous system is stuck in a level of fight or flight. While he is feeling a lot of emotions around this, he reminds himself to stay the course. So, for all of those parents who are seeking sobriety – we will stay the course with you.   What does staying the course look like when we depart from alcohol? Maybe it is tuning in to the podcast each week or logging just one more day alcohol-free. Maybe you are working through a quit lit book and the voice is saying it wasn’t that bad. Keep reading. Keep listening. Keep showing up. We are on the right path and it’s paramount that we stick together.   [10:18] Paul introduces Robbie:   Robbie lives in Palm Springs, CA. He enjoys tennis, pickleball, golf and interior design.   Robbie says he didn’t drink much growing up and only started to drink while studying abroad in Australia. He was able to drink socially with little issue. The drinking became more frequent after Robbie had graduated college and was living alone in Denver. He found himself at happy hours and then returning home to continue to drink. At the time, Robbie knew that his drinking wasn’t normal but chalked it up to being a phase.   During COVID lockdowns, Robbie ended up moving back to Montana to stay with his parents. Drinking was a great excuse since he didn’t have obligations. After moving back to his apartment, his drinking began earlier in the day over time. He was starting to have physical repercussions from drinking heavily and decided to try and moderate or cut back. One event found him going to the liquor store for “hair of the dog” and on the way back he ended up passing out. Robbie woke up in an ambulance on the way to the ER and had no idea who called them. This didn’t deter Robbie from drinking, he just knew that if he tried to quit again, he would need to have medical detox.   On a trip to Montana visiting family, Robbie ended up getting a DUI right down the street from his parents’ house. After his father picked him up from jail, he knew the cat was out of the bag.   At Christmas, Robbie decided to stay in Denver and told his mother that he was spending time with his girlfriend but ended up staying home. When his mother found out he wasn’t with her, see felt driven to send Robbie an email expressing concerns about his health. He felt a lot of relief when he read it and knew that he was going to be able to get help now since his family was aware of his problem.   Robbie went to Betty Ford and stayed there for 21 days. It was more social than Robbie was accustomed to, but he grew very close with the people he was there with. After a few step-down programs, Robbie still goes to Betty Ford frequently and while AA isn’t his favorite modality, he enjoys trying new meetings and keeps an open mind to all things recovery. He utilizes meetings, podcasts and gratitude lists in recovery and when he has a craving, he has found box-breathing helps him a lot.   What has sobriety made possible for Robbie: reconnecting with and loving himself.   Robbie’s parting piece of guidance: pick up the 100-pound phone, ask for help and you’ll be really surprised by people’s response to that.     Recovery Elevator Go big, because eventually we all go home. I love you guys.   RE on Instagram Recovery Elevator YouTube Sobriety Tracker iTunes   
8/12/202446 minutes, 44 seconds
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RE 494: Discomfort = Good

Episode 494 - Discomfort = Good   Today we have Erin. She is 47 years old from Colorado and took her last drink on May 21st, 2022.   Sponsors for this episode:   Visit Better Help today to get 10% off your first month   Café RE – promo code OPPORTUNITY waives set up fee.   [02:53] Thoughts from Paul:   Paul shares with us “pain is followed by pleasure and pleasure is followed by pain”. Drinking to change the way you feel in order to feel better in the short term, will lead to a greater dip on the other side. Not only does drinking often come with a physical hangover, but the dopamine dip can be even worse.   The Comfort Crisis by Michael Easter is a great book on discomfort. The main point of the comfort crisis is to show that society’s relentless quest for pleasure is actually doing us a tremendous amount of harm.   The discomfort that comes with ditching the booze is like a different type of gym that is making you so much stronger. Studies show that it was not uncommon for our ancestors to run and walk more than 25 miles in a day. Today we call that a marathon. They called it going out for dinner. A good sobriety tool to add to your toolkit is seeking discomfort – both the physical and the mental.    Buddha said that life is suffering, and all attempts to avoid the suffering only create more suffering. Logging alcohol free days and leaning into the boredom and discomfort is incredibly healthy for you and is actually level 10 self-care, even though it hurts.   [09:57] Kris introduces Erin:   Erin lives in a small town in Colorado. She is a psychotherapist. She lives with her partner and two dogs. They enjoy all things outdoors; hiking, skiing, walking, going to the lake and she is fortunate to love her work as well.   Growing up in a small town in South Dakota, Erin says drinking was part of the youth culture. Her older siblings drank and made it sound like fun. The first time Erin drank, she blacked out, but doesn’t recall it being a bad experience. She drank at parties in high school, but her drinking slowed down when she went to college.   Living in Boulder, CO, Erin enjoyed more outdoor activities instead of drinking heavily. Her roommate and she got the opportunity to go on tour with their favorite band a few times and Erin remembers that as being when drinking was fun. She was a music lover and while working in clubs she enjoyed the perk of free drinks and meeting the bands.   In her late 20s, Erin had a career change and was with a partner that drank a lot. She says she drank a lot with them and was able to maintain her job and her martial arts training. She was working with women that came from domestic abuse situations so in comparison, she thought she was doing alright.   Erin ended up leaving the martial arts community but began drinking with her work community. Everyone else was able to drink Friday night and be done, whereas Erin wouldn’t stop until Monday. She started having withdrawal symptoms when the bender was over, but this wasn’t enough to make her quit.   Erin would try moderation and kept her drinking to a minimum when with her boyfriend, but it was different when she was alone. It wasn’t until a bender while pet sitting that her boyfriend saw her in really rough shape. He made her leave with him and the next morning, Erin asked to go to the hospital because she knew it was time to quit for good.   Once Erin quit, she focused on telling the truth and surrendering to the fact that she could no longer drink. Erin has leaned into community and is going to retreats. It gives her something to look forward to on her calendar.   Erin’s favorite resources in recovery – podcasts and other people’s stories   Erin’s parting piece of guidance – there’s a wisdom in patience, and simplicity. Do one or two things each day that are good for yourself. Sobriety is a journey and the brain is healing.   We are the only ones that can do this RE, but we don’t have to do it alone. I love you guys.   RE on Instagram Recovery Elevator YouTube Sobriety Tracker iTunes   
8/5/202455 minutes, 50 seconds
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RE 493: The War is Over and I Lost

Episode 493 – The War is Over, and I Lost   Today we have Allie. She is 31 and lives in Central, MA. She took her last drink on March 20th, 2024.   There are still a few spots open on our next Alcohol-Free travel trip to Vietnam. This upcoming January 9th-20th, 2025, we’re heading to this incredible Southeast Asia paradise for 10 days and 11 nights with 25 travelers who are done nursing hangovers.   Sponsors for this episode:   Visit Better Help today to get 10% off your first month   Exact Nature use promo code RE20 to receive 20% of your order   [03:25] Thoughts from Paul:   Paul shares that he lost the war with alcohol. It was not for lack of effort… for over ten years, he would get back up and keep fighting, he would implement new strategies to control his drinking, but it didn’t matter. He still lost.   He eventually raised the white flag and through the process of deconstruction, Paul says humility entered on its own without invitation. Every day he has to remember just how bad he got his ass kicked.   Through the addiction process, humility is a gift that we receive. Humility is a modest view of one’s own self-worth or importance and addiction is the equalizer that puts us all on the same level.   Losing the battle with alcohol is a humbling process which imprints on us a heaping dose of humility, which never leaves.   A big part of today’s intro is empowering you to recognize this incredible gift. Once the battle with alcohol is over and humility is gained, we ultimately win.   [10:38] Paul introduces Allie:   Allie is 31 years old, and currently lives in central Massachusetts. She is married and they recently bought a house. For work she is an occupational therapist for students with different learning disabilities. For fun she enjoys the beach, travel, reading and exercise.   Allie started experimenting with alcohol in high school – the typical parties on the weekend. Her parents were big advocates for safety around alcohol and knew that Allie and her brother were at the age of experimentation. Allie knew family members that had issues with alcohol but wasn’t worried about them developing for herself.   After college, Allie moved to Boston and started to work. She says she enjoyed the social scene. Initially she didn’t drink during the week but on the weekends the excitement of being with friends found her trying to keep the party going when others were fine to stop.   During COVID Allie and her friends would have happy hours over Zoom. Around 2022 was when she first heard the term “sober curious” but said the word “sober” scared her. Allie shares that she had times when she knew she had drank too much and felt some shame and guilt around it. This led her to start listening to podcasts about sobriety and hear stories from others that felt the same way. Allie found listening to other people her age quitting drinking was really motivating and helpful for her to realize she wasn’t alone.   Because she wasn’t an everyday drinker, she didn’t think she had a problem. She would attempt moderation by limiting her drinks and avoiding certain alcohol. Allie quit drinking for stretches of time, but usually because of diet or an upcoming event. It wasn’t until one night of overindulgence led to worrying her father when she realized that she needed to quit.   Since quitting, Allie listens to a lot of podcasts, attends therapy and journals regularly to reflect on where she is. Learning about the science has been very helpful to her and she has fostered a great relationship with herself while improving relationships with others. Self-discovery, self-acceptance and self-awareness have helped Allie realize that she is just someone that cannot drink.     Recovery Elevator You took the elevator down; you gotta take the stairs back up. I love you guys.   RE on Instagram RE merch Recovery Elevator YouTube Sobriety Tracker iTunes   
7/29/202446 minutes, 28 seconds
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RE 492: Alcohol Isn’t the Problem

Episode 492 – Alcohol Isn’t the Problem   Today we have Kristi. She is 50 years old and lives in Rome, GA. She took her last drink on December 11th, 2023.   We just opened a few more spots for our upcoming retreat this August 14th through 18th in beautiful Bozeman, MT.    Sponsors for this episode:   Visit Better Help today to get 10% off your first month   Exact Nature use promo code RE20 to receive 20% of your order   [02:19] Thoughts from Paul:   We think this is all about alcohol, but it’s not. There are different support groups for many various addictions, and the one thing that they have in common is whatever comes before the word “Anonymous” is not the problem.    Page 64 in the Alcoholics Anonymous Big Book states that the liquor was but a symptom. The booze isn’t the problem. There are deeper causes and conditions that are manifesting themselves in a drinking problem, gambling problem, shopping problem, etc.   For many of us, alcohol isn’t the problem. It is but a symptom of what went down in our infant and toddler years. Childhood trauma (which can be both what happened to us and what didn’t happen for us) can leave us with holes that we end up doing anything to fill. Many of those interviewed on this podcast explain that the first drink made them feel whole again.   We drink to change the way we feel and to cover up uncomfortable emotions. Alcohol is being used to cover up deeper issues. This may or may not be what you wanted to hear today, but it’s important to keep this podcast real.   TRIGGER WARNING: The upcoming interview references self-harm.   [10:54] Kris introduces Kristi:   Kristi is 50 years old and is a hairstylist in Northwest Georgia. She has a 33 year old daughter with special needs, a partner and three dogs. For fun she enjoys reading, cooking and looks forward to getting back to kayaking.   Kristi says she had a good childhood. Her parents divorced when she was young, and they both remarried when she was around seven. Growing up, Kristi felt like she was on the fringe of being part of the “in” crowd so would do what everyone else was doing to fit in.   Kristi had her first drink when she was around 14 years old. At age 16, she got pregnant and dropped out of school. After she had her daughter, she started experimenting a lot and found herself in and out of destructive relationships.   Around the age of 27, Kristi found herself addicted to opiates. During this time her father, who struggled with mental illness, committed suicide. This sent her on a downward spiral. About a year later she found a place that helped her quit the opiates. She was there for 8 months and when she returned, she drank because she knew that pills were her issue, not alcohol.   Kristi says she was a binge drinker. Alcohol was a way for her to mask the pain of the loss of her father as well as the struggles she had raising a special needs child.   As a hairdresser when COVID happened, she says she went downhill quickly. There was no work and being homebound found her day drinking and over time it started earlier in the day. The day drinking continued after returning to work and she had a few events that led her to seek treatment. It was an up and down experience for her after the first detox, but Kristi never gave up and neither did her family and friends.   After six months of sobriety, Kristi says it feels different this time. She has been leaning into Café RE and reaching out to some other friends to expand her connections. She found this and mediation to be most helpful to her.   Recently Kristi started going to college with the goal of being a counselor. She wants to use what she has been through to help others.   Kristi’s favorite resources in recovery: Cafe RE and podcasts.   Kristi’s parting piece of guidance: just do it. Life is so much clearer. There are so many things on the edge of your fingertips if you just put down the bottle.   Recovery Elevator Go big, because eventually we all go home. I love you guys.   RE on Instagram RE merch Recovery Elevator YouTube Sobriety Tracker iTunes   
7/22/202455 minutes, 8 seconds
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RE 491: Sobriety is Not...

Episode 491 – Sobriety is Not….   Today we have Santino. He is 36 years old, lives in Taunton, MA, and took his last drink on May 24th, 2022.   Sponsors for this episode:   Visit Better Help today to get 10% off your first month   Café RE – promo code OPPORTUNITY waives set up fee.   [02:55] Thoughts from Paul:   A question we all eventually ask ourselves during our lifetime is – who am I? Eckhart Tolle (the author of The Power of Now and A New Earth) says that through the process of finding out who we are not, we also find out who we are.   One of our Café RE hosts, Tonya, shared a great list of what sobriety is not which Paul shares and elaborates on:   1)    Sobriety is not the same for everyone. 2)    Sobriety is not going back to how things were. 3)    Sobriety does not rid you of your past. 4)    Sobriety is not the end of your life if you enter recovery or treatment. 5)    Sobriety is not the end of socializing. 6)    Sobriety is not something you can do halfheartedly. 7)    Sobriety is not just a temporary thing.   Rumi says “don’t be held captive. Your life has no border or shoreline”. Don’t be held captive by a mind created definition of what sobriety is because in reality, it can be whatever you want it to be. It can be infinitely boundless.   [10:42] Paul introduces Santino:   This is Santino’s third appearance on the podcast, and he is celebrating 2 years alcohol free at the time of this recording.   Santino grew up in the Midwest but currently lives in eastern MA. He is currently working on writing his memoir and he and his wife are expecting their second child.   Curiosity in his early teens led Santino to try alcohol. He joined the military after high school where drinking is generally part of the culture. Santino considers his drinking rather benign until his late twenties. It was then that he began to use alcohol for coping through uncertainty in his life. Once he started finding himself focusing more and more on his next drink, he began gaslighting and manipulating to protect his drinking. Santino acknowledges that he was becoming like Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde.   Several months before he quit drinking, Santino had a bad withdrawal experience. At the time he was depressed and cared little about himself. He recognized that this may be what a rock bottom feels like and didn’t want to go through this again. He was able to quit for three months in early 2022, but a birthday celebration in March found him falling right into the old habits.   A turning point for Santino was after watching coverage of a school shooting while at the bar. Thinking about becoming a better example for the children of the future, he stopped drinking that day. He calls this clocking out of purgatory. An ultimatum from his wife after discovering hidden debt sealed the deal for Santino.   Comparing the first year of sobriety to the second year, Santino feels there is pure form of clarity that he has. He no longer feels the need to hide anymore. He is exploring who he is and what he can offer to the universe.   Santino says he has been attending individual and marriage therapy which has been helpful to him. He works on fostering his relationships, attends AA meetings, practices positive self-talk, and works on connecting with his emotions and his inner self daily.   Santino’s favorite recovery quote: “the world record for the longest time without a drink is 24 hours.”   One thing Santino has learned in sobriety: that he has always had something to offer the world – his true, authentic self.   Santino’s favorite sober moment: having the emotional capacity to deal with life as he knows it as well as deal with conflicts he would otherwise run away from.   Santino’s parting piece of guidance: give yourself the grace that alcohol will never give you.   Recovery Elevator Go big, because eventually we all go home. I love you guys.   RE on Instagram RE merch Recovery Elevator YouTube Sobriety Tracker iTunes   
7/15/202452 minutes, 9 seconds
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RE 490: Expectations are Premeditated Resentments

Episode 490 - Expectations are Premeditated Resentments   Today we have Stephanie. She is 48 years old and lives in San Diego, CA. She took her last drink on January 11th, 2020.   Sponsors for this episode:   Visit Better Help today to get 10% off your first month   Café RE – promo code OPPORTUNITY waives set up fee.   [2:21] Thoughts from Kris:   Kris shares that he and his family have always enjoyed camping. Recently, he was looking forward to a week that the family could get together, probably for the only time this summer due to work and social schedules. Things did not go as planned due to obligations, weather and some mishaps along the way.   Kris found his mind making the determination that if their week didn’t look exactly like it was planned, then it was no longer good. This is one of Kris’s work-in-progress areas in his recovery. He shares that it’s somewhat normal to have expectations from the people in our lives and society in general, but what do we do when people, places and things fall short of those expectations?   A few things that Kris does is practice gratitude – he is grateful for the time he does get to spend with family and the great weather they had for most of the week. He also practices taking a self-inventory and shares page 86 from AA’s Big Book to give us an idea of what that looks like.   Let Kris know how you navigate expectations and resentments – [email protected]   [09:48] Kris introduces Stephanie:   Stephanie lives in San Diego with her husband and twin 16-year-old boys. She works as a legal analyst for a Fortune 10 company and loves sports. In her free time, she enjoys hiking, playing games and traveling.   Stephanie witnessed her father become a heavy drinker after the loss of her mother. She was young at the time and as she grew up vowed that she would not drink like he did. At 15, Stephanie first tried alcohol and ended up the victim of an assault during a blackout. Due to this, and her father’s alcoholism, Stephanie was very careful with her consumption for many years.   After having kids and one of them was diagnosed with autism, she began to use alcohol as a coping mechanism to deal with her high stress job and parenting. Others would participate with her having drinks after work, so it felt like a normal, adult thing to do.   When Stephanie’s husband became disabled in a work accident, things got tough for them financially. Her drinking increased while she was working to rebuild their lives. As things began to improve for the family, she realized that she was drinking too much but was sure she would be able to quit when she was ready – since she didn’t look like her father, she didn’t think it was that big of an issue.   When she tried to quit alone in 2019, she was able to get four months and thought she could return to normal drinking. After a while she was drinking to blackout again and knew she needed to get help. She attended rehab for 60 days and also discovered the RE podcast. Hearing others share their stories really helped her. Community has become so important to Stephanie, and she has made a lot of friends along the way that she calls her Spiritual Gangsters.   Stephanie’s plan in sobriety moving forward: continue being present with others, exploring her life’s purpose and living life authentically.   Stephanie’s parting piece of guidance: despite what you have been told, life without alcohol is so much more fun, fulfilling and connected than your life while drinking ever was.   We might as well go big RE, because eventually we all go home. I love you guys.   RE on Instagram RE merch Recovery Elevator YouTube Sobriety Tracker iTunes   
7/8/202458 minutes, 25 seconds
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RE 489: The Best Parts of an Alcohol-Free Life

Episode 489 – The Best Parts of an Alcohol-Free Life   Today we have Chris. He is 56 years old and lives in Beacon, NY and took his last drink on April 18th, 2024.   Registration for our next Alcohol-Free travel trip to Vietnam opens TODAY! This upcoming January 9th-20th, 2025, we’re heading to this incredible Southeast Asia paradise for 10 days and 11 nights with 25 travelers who are done nursing hangovers.   Welcome to our new listeners! We are glad to have you with us. You are in the right place. There is a whole new authentic life awaiting you, which isn’t far away.   Congratulations to Paul and his wife on the birth of their new baby boy!   Better Help:  www.betterhelp.com/elevator - 10% off your first month. #sponsored   [04:10] Thoughts from Paul:   A few weeks ago, Paul asked our Instagram followers what is the best part of being sober or living an alcohol free life. He shares with us some of the responses he received.   The four biggest commonalities he saw were: 1)    More authenticity 2)    Less shame and regret 3)    More energy 4)    More clarity   Think of the sobriety quote “you’re giving up one thing for everything”.   Sober Link   [11:16] Paul introduces Chris:   Chris says he is 56 years old and grew up in northern New Jersey, close to NYC. Cooking is his passion, and he has worked in the food and beverage industry all of his life, currently in a director role. Chris also enjoys the outdoors and currently lives in the Hudson Valley.   Beyond the occasional night of overindulgence, Chris says his drinking was normal. He was around alcohol a lot in the industry he works in. After getting married, he and his wife enjoyed entertaining in addition to traveling to wineries and distilleries and building a collection. Over time Chris began drinking more than just wine with dinner, had booze all over the house and was drinking earlier in the day and more often.   After he and his wife got divorced, Chris found himself drinking more heavily and was less discriminate of what he was drinking as long as he was getting his fix, as he calls it. He was breaking commitments and becoming less functional in his day-to-day life.   Chris didn’t drink heavily around other people but told his family in 2018 that he needed help. He went into treatment and was able to gain 14 months. He was part of a sober community called Ben’s Friends geared towards those in the service industry. Chris was able to gain some sobriety time but had a series of stops and starts with several more visits to rehab as well.   Currently at 34 days, Chris is working on rebuilding his life. He knows time will heal his relationships with family, and he is attending IOP for accountability. He is spending a lot of time outdoors and is grateful that the weather has been nice. He attends AA meetings, Café RE chats, and participates in meetings with Ben’s Friends. Missing meetings is a non-negotiable for Chris and he also makes sure to nurture himself physically and spiritually.   Chris’ best sober moment: being present with his partner while on vacation.   Chris’ parting piece of guidance: stay connected.   Café RE – promo code OPPORTUNITY waives set up fee. RE merch Recovery Elevator YouTube Sobriety Tracker iTunes      Recovery Elevator We took the elevator down. We gotta take the stairs back up. You can do this.
7/1/202443 minutes, 2 seconds
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RE 488: Hello Truth

Episode 488 – Hello Truth   Today we have Christine. She is 58 and lives in Ontario. She took her last drink on December 29th, 2022.   Recovery Elevator is going to Vietnam January 9th-20th, 2025. Registration for our newest alcohol-free travel trip opens July 1st. We have room for 25 passengers on this journey. We have AF workshops, a home stay and a service project planned, plus you’ll be traveling with others who have already ditched the booze.   Better Help:  www.betterhelp.com/elevator - 10% off your first month. #sponsored   [02:56] Thoughts from Paul:   Paul shares with us some articles reminding us of what we already know: alcohol is shit. Society is waking up to the fact that no amount of alcohol is good for you.   In 2023, GQ had an article titled The Year We realize Any Alcohol Is Bad For You.   The World Health Organization, who once supported the stance that one to two drinks per day is beneficial, is now doing an about face.  Their headline was No Level of Alcohol Consumption is Safe For Your Health.   The New York times also had an article further showing that the truth is emerging: Even A Little Alcohol Can Harm Your Health.   Canadian Centre on Substance Use and Addiction shares Canada’s Guidance on Alcohol and Heath.   NBC News shares their take on the fact that drinking moderately is not healthier than abstaining   If you want to join the discussion, go to the Recovery Elevator Instagram page and let us know what your thoughts are on today’s intro. Or write to your local politician and let them know that alcohol is shit.   Exact Nature: https://exactnature.com/RE20   [10:08] Kris introduces Christine:   Christine is 58 years old and has two adult children, two cats, and is divorced. Christine is a massage therapist and enjoys participating in theater and reading in her spare time.   Christine said that she knew there was alcoholism in her family, and her parents didn’t drink. She knew it was something that people needed to be careful with.   While at university, she saw her older brother participating in the party scene and believed that drinking was just part of the experience. She started drinking and says that it was like a release valve for her and helped her with her awkwardness.   After marrying her husband, Christine says drinking wasn’t part of their life for a long time. The occasional bottle of wine turned into more alcohol towards the end of the marriage.  Upon splitting up and moving to a new community, Christine found a music scene and easy friends there to frequently spend time drinking with.   Christine feels she was leading a double life and not many people knew the extent of her drinking. Her brother noticed and was concerned. Christine started having regret for her drinking and attempted moderation for a while.   Eventually she picked up Allan Carr’s book at the bookstore and began taking notes. Toward the end of 2019 she was able to quit for a period of time until the pandemic struck.   Since she was not working and unable to care for her parents as she had been doing, she used the time to drink and felt entitled to the break. After being able to go out again, she started feeling the shame and despair set in. She began to realize she wasn’t going out for the music and friends, but for the drinks. After getting sick for two weeks and being unable to drink, something told Christine to take this opportunity to keep going.   Christine found podcasts, YouTube testimonials, and began reading quit lit again feeling called to sobriety. She joined and became active in Café RE. Keeping a list in her phone of her whys and why nots which helped her a lot.   Christine’s parting piece of guidance: we shouldn’t be asking ourselves if it’s bad enough to quit, we should be asking if it’s good enough to keep.   Chrstine’s plan in sobriety going forward: seeking in-person connections.     Café RE – promo code OPPORTUNITY waives set up fee. RE merch Recovery Elevator YouTube Sobriety Tracker iTunes      Recovery Elevator Go big, because eventually we’ll all go home. I love you guys.
6/24/202457 minutes, 37 seconds
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RE 487: How Would You Walk?

Episode 487 – How Would You Walk?   Today we have Sarah. She is 45 and lives in Indiana. She took her last drink on December 31st, 2022.   Let’s talk AF International travel with Recovery Elevator. We’ve got some incredible trips in the works. We’re going to Vietnam for 12 days in January 2025. Then Back to Costa Rica for our 4th trip to the Blue Zone in April 2025, and then, we’re going back to Peru in October 2025 where we’re going to the Inca Trail and work with Non-profit Peruvian Hearts again.   Athletic Greens   [02:42] Thoughts from Paul:   The World Heart Federation published a policy brief in 2022 staying there is “no level of alcohol consumption that is safe for health.” There was and still is a collective belief that alcohol is good for you. This is especially prominent in the wine culture.   The paradigm is slowly cracking which is a huge step in the right direction. When Paul started Recovery Elevator in 2015, you couldn’t find that line anywhere. It was almost customary to see a line that says something like “studies show moderate alcohol consumption can improve heart health and longevity”.  Today the tides are turning and a narrative that alcohol can wreck your world (aka, the truth) is emerging. People are waking up to the lies that Big Alcohol has sold us.   Check out this recent article about a new phenomenon called BORGS explains what these are and then follows it up with the snippet about alcohol being shit.     [09:18] Paul introduces Sarah:   Sarah is 45 and lives in Indiana. She is married with two kids and works in marketing. When she isn’t running the kids to their practices and games, she enjoys exercising, reading and backpacking.   Sarah parents divorced when she was 11 and she grew up with her mother who she was very close with. She doesn’t recall alcohol being very present in their lives. Sarah didn’t drink much in high school but in college and into her 20s, everything she and her friends did involved alcohol. She always knew her drinking looked a little different than everyone else’s, but didn’t identify it as a problem.   When Sarah was 35, her mother was diagnosed with brain cancer. Sarah quit working so that she could care for her mother through the diagnosis. Her drinking increased as she dealt with being a caretaker, having a family in addition to not working.   After her mother died four years later, Sarah says she did not know how to deal with life. She would drink into a blackout almost daily and was stuck in the cycle of wanting to quit but not being able to. Sarah began to worry that it might not be possible for her and worried that she would disappoint her mother if she wasn’t able to quit.   In time, Sarah found sober podcasts and tried medications to help. She says Antabuse worked, but she would stop taking it in order to drink. No one knew she was taking it to try and quit and Sarah feels that by not sharing, she always left the door open to drink again.   Sarah knew something had to change and decided to come clean with her husband. Being active in the Café RE community helped Sarah gain the courage to choose a quit date and write a letter to her husband letting him know what was going on. Sarah says she received a lot of support from him.   After the physical withdrawals, Sarah felt hopeful. As the months went on, she protected her sobriety by avoiding situations where there was drinking, and she began to gain more confidence. Sarah says that when she has thoughts of drinking, she does chooses to put her energy into her sober resources instead.   Sarah’s best sober moment: experiencing the Northern Lights with her son   Sarah’s parting piece of guidance: never quit quitting.   [41:14] Outro:   Paul invites listeners to answer some questions not with words in their minds, but in how they carry themselves. How would you walk if…….?   Café RE – promo code OPPORTUNITY waives set up fee. RE merch Instagram   Recovery Elevator YouTube Sobriety Tracker iTunes      Recovery Elevator Go big, because eventually we’ll all go home. I love you guys.
6/17/202445 minutes, 46 seconds
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RE 486: The Most Dangerous Thing on the Planet

Episode 486 - The Most Dangerous Thing on the Planet   Today we have Adam. He is 46 from Flowermound, TX and took his last drink on December 31st, 2022.   Recovery Elevator is going to Vietnam January 9th-20th, 2025. Registration for our newest alcohol-free travel trip opens July 1st. We have room for 25 passengers to this southeast Asia destination. We have AF workshops, a home stay and a service project planned, plus you’ll be traveling with others who have already ditched the booze.   Better Help:  www.betterhelp.com/elevator - 10% off your first month. #sponsored   [03:00] Thoughts from Paul:   Paul shares many things that are dangerous but concludes that the most dangerous thing on the planet is the Ego. The reason why it is so dangerous is because it is never fully satisfied, it’s always hungry, lives in constant state of lack and is always seeking more, more, more.   Alcohol is but a symptom of the most dangerous thing on the planet. Addiction gets a bad rap, but it does serve a purpose. It forces you to split from the thinking mind. As the author of The Untethered Soul, Michael Singer says you are the one hearing or witnessing the thoughts, but you are not your thoughts.   Some of the humblest people Paul has met have been people in recovery. The addiction is the equalizer and forces us to seek a better way no longer guided by the blind pursuit of the ego.   Sober Link.  Sign up for a $50 off promo code.   [10:22] Kris introduces Adam:   Adam is a registered nurse, married to his wife for 23 years and they have two children. He loves hiking, camping and walking and enjoys tabletop gaming and the creativity and childlike innocence that it has awoken.   Alcohol was not very present in Adam’s childhood household. When he was 15, he had a bad experience with hamburgers and cheap alcohol that kept him away for a while. Typical teenage experimentation was there, but not much booze in his high school years.   Becoming a young adult found Adam at college and going to a lot of parties. The heavier partying led to Adam beginning to have blackouts and hangovers. He ended up going to the Appalachian Mountains for some mission work and to get away from his dissonance around substance use. He says it still followed him there and eventually he had to go back home. Adam says drinking was part of he and his wife’s early dating period. After getting married and having kids, Adam was working 45 minutes from home and found himself drinking on the way home from work and the drinking was becoming daily. He knew it didn’t feel right but continued to do it. Deciding to start nursing school after the birth of their second child was very stressful and Adam’s drinking eventually found him seeking to stop but with short stints of sobriety, he would go back and feel stuck. This continued for Adam for a while and started to affect his relationships.   Adam feels he finally had a time where it just clicked for him. He had joined Café RE and then joined the Restore course and he was able to organize some tools and awareness around his drinking. He knew he had work to do but he was willing to work on it finally. He currently has a great support network and close friends that he is doing the work with. Adam feels that a lot of things about him have changed and every day he sees joy.   Adam’s biggest fear around quitting drinking: the fear of not having fun   Adam’s plan moving forward: staying connected and immersed   Adam’s parting piece of guidance for people thinking about quitting drinking: it makes the world colorful again and life will move in the direction it’s supposed to move.     Café RE – promo code OPPORTUNITY waives set up fee. RE merch Instagram   Recovery Elevator YouTube Sobriety Tracker iTunes      Recovery Elevator It all starts from the inside out. I love you guys.
6/10/20241 hour, 1 minute, 7 seconds
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RE 485: The Social Cost of Alcohol

Episode 485 – The Social Cost of Alcohol   Today we have Jennifer. She is 41 from Hamilton, OT Canada and took her last drink on January 18th, 2024.   Recovery Elevator is going to Vietnam January 9th-20th, 2025. Registration for our newest alcohol-free travel trip opens July 1st.   Better Help:  www.betterhelp.com/elevator - 10% off your first month. #sponsored   [02:09] Thoughts from Paul:   Paul shares some information from an article he saw on the Instagram page recoveryroadmap.me. It discusses how in Canada, despite bringing in $13 billion in tax revenue, the net social costs in 2020 was $19 billion. And it is even worse in the US.   The bright side of all of this is that we are becoming aware of this major deficit, and change is taking place. The demand for alcohol is lowering as people are becoming more aware that alcohol is not good for you. Two years ago, The Huberman Lab did a podcast called What Alcohol Does to Your Body and he debunked the myth that alcohol is good for you.   Paul also shares that thanks to an initiative called Sounds Right, musicians who use natural sounds can list “Nature” as a featured artist and royalties from the tracks will go toward environmental causes.       Exact Nature: https://exactnature.com/RE20   [08:33] Paul introduces Jennifer:   Jennifer is married and they have a daughter and a standard poodle. She works for the family business and for fun she plays paintball, tennis and volleyball – anything active with friends.   Jennifer says that as the “good girl” growing up, she always wanted to be bad and says that drinking fit in with that. During the week she was excelling in school, but on the weekends, she went to raves with friends and started smoking weed. She enjoyed the duality of her life and the same pattern continued at university.   While in her first year of college, her father bought back his company with a ten-year plan of Jennifer becoming the CEO. The stress and responsibility of this and her parents divorce a few years later all found her drinking escalating. Some of her friends told Jennifer’s mom about her drinking and staged a small intervention to which Jennifer was not receptive. She assured everyone she was ok, but then just began to isolate when she drank.   After the plan found her becoming the CEO, her drinking went from nights and weekends to drinking all day just to cope. She recognized that this was a problem but was scared to mention it to anyone. This is when she first joined Café RE, started listening to podcasts and trying to learn more about the disease. Jennifer tried a lot of moderation methods but was never successful until she got pregnant with her daughter at 35. She was able to quit drinking while pregnant and a few months after having the baby.   After returning to work, Jennifer says her drinking started right where she left off. She says she was beginning to have disturbing thoughts and finally concluded that she needed help. Not being able to come up with a good way to quit without anyone knowing, she decided to confide in her cousin who she knew would understand.   In January of 2024 at a dinner with her cousin, mom and husband, Jennifer was able to burn the ships, and everyone was very supportive. Upon going to treatment shortly after, Jennifer says she took her recovery very seriously and wanted to make it worth her time.   Journaling and practicing mindfulness are big parts of Jennifer’s recovery, she takes time to be present with her daughter and her life, attends meetings and counseling regularly and says stacking habits are important to her growth. Nurturing the sober version of herself has been great for her. Jennifer can see a future now   Jennifer’s best sober moment: Walking my daughter to school and being present.   Jennnifer’s parting piece of guidance: Don’t be afraid to ask for help.     Café RE – promo code OPPORTUNITY waives set up fee. RE merch Instagram   Recovery Elevator YouTube Sobriety Tracker iTunes      Recovery Elevator It all starts from the inside out. I love you guys.
6/3/202456 minutes, 8 seconds
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RE 484: Recovery is a Sandwich

Episode 484 – Recovery is a Sandwich   Today we have Brian. He is 59 from Eastern Iowa. He took his last drink on May 23rd, 2023.   Recovery Elevator is going to Vietnam January 9th-20th, 2025. Registration for our newest alcohol-free travel trip opens July 1st and we’ve got room for 25 passengers. Who’s up for seeing the world with a group of travelers who have ditched the booze?   Better Help:  www.betterhelp.com/elevator - 10% off your first month. #sponsored   [02:24] Thoughts from Kris:   Kris’ topic today is one of the foundational themes in recovery which is telling our story or burning the ships as we refer to it at Recovery Elevator.   Burning the Ships refers to when Hernan Cortez sailed across the ocean and ordered his men to burn their ships when they landed. There was no turning back, no retreat. When we share our story, we can no longer hide from it and are faced to move forward with others having knowledge of our journey.   This isn’t a black and white situation so it will be different for everyone, and we each have to do what is right for us. Kris shares the different levels of burning the ships and his experiences with them. He feels that the positives outweigh the negatives. When people hear our stories, not just the stats, it changes their perception. Hearing our stories in others’, helps us know we are not alone, and we never know the impact that sharing our stories may have on others.   Think of the moments that have inspired you. What is your version of that? Let Kris know what you think. How has burning the ships played out for you?  Email [email protected] to share your thoughts.   Athletic Greens: https://www.athleticgreens.com/recovery   [10:48] Kris introduces Brian:   Upon the release of this episode, Brian has just celebrated one year of sobriety! He is married, together they have five adult children and seven grandchildren. Brian is active and enjoys many outdoor activities, home projects, travelling and reading.   Brian grew up on a farm and recalls it was common for people to have drinks after a long day of work. He says he and his friends would sneak beer out of curiosity. When he was in his teens, he and his friends would drive around the gravel roads with a cooler of beer. After graduating high school, Brian joined the military, which was a tradition in his family. He was enlisted for two years and lived the “work hard, play hard” life that is common in that environment.   Shortly after discharge from the Army, Brian got a DUI. He did not feel this was a red flag to stop drinking, just needed to pay the fine and move on. After graduating college, he got his first job in management and married his first wife. They bought land and started a family together. Brian says drinking was mostly social on the weekends and at the local tavern after work.   Brian and his wife got a divorce after 15 years married. Soon after, Brian began suffering from extreme anxiety and panic attacks. He tried medication and meditation to deal with it, but it was still intense.   A few years later, Brian started dating his current wife. They were very social and frequently drank, but she was not a heavy drinker. Brian began to find himself waking up with anxiety and would often change his work hours to accommodate his drinking or recovery from the night before.   In December of 2020 Brian discovered his sister had recently become sober. He feels this really led him to examine his drinking. Upon arriving home from that visit, he started reading a lot and listening to podcasts. He began attending more group chats with Café RE and connecting with other folks in recovery. Brian says his sister taught him a lot of mindfulness exercises which he has found very helpful.    Brian’s parting piece of guidance for those considering sobriety: just dig in and try it.   Café RE – promo code OPPORTUNITY waives set up fee. RE merch Instagram   Recovery Elevator YouTube Sobriety Tracker iTunes      Recovery Elevator I love you guys. Go big because eventually we’ll all go home.
5/27/20241 hour, 15 minutes, 2 seconds
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RE 483: NA Beers

Episode 483 – NA Beers   Today we have Tyler. He is 37 and lives in Phoenix, AZ. He took his last drink on November 28th, 2023.   Recovery Elevator welcomes Danielle Marr to the team! She now writes the bi-monthly newsletter for RE which always has journalling prompts at the end. She taught our DTB writing course this last fall and does Instagram posts a couple days a week. She was also interviewed on episode 464.   To subscribe to the Recovery Elevator newsletter, click here and wait for the box to pop up.   Better Help:  www.betterhelp.com/elevator - 10% off your first month. #sponsored   [03:35] Thoughts from Paul   Paul shares with us the history of NA beers and how they were created to pacify the Mothers Against Drunk Drivers campaign back in the 90’s. The companies had zero intention of scaling this segment of their business and it has been said that the purposefully made the beer tasteless and bland.   Those days are gone. Non-alcoholic beer sales have been growing every year by 30-40% since 2019. Many of the major beer brands are investing time and money into creating their own NA products and there are more breweries popping up that are 100% dedicated to making an AF craft beer.   There is no need to explore the NA beer world in the early days of your alcohol-free life because it can be triggering. There is trace amount of alcohol in many of the NA beers (usually less than 0.5%) and you would have to drink 25-30 of them to reach the legal BAC. Check out this Instagram post where someone drinks several NA beers and stills blows zeros into a breathalyzer.   What the AF beer world exploding shows is that people are waking up to the fact that alcohol is not good for you and big alcohol sales are reflecting that. The stigma around alcohol addiction is also crumbling. We as consumers decide every move a business makes – start asking for more AF options at restaurants and grocery stores. Start asking and you will receive.   Go Brewing. Use the code ELEVATOR for 15% off.   [09:58] Paul introduces Tyler:   Tyler is 37 years old and lives in Phoenix, AZ and has a six-month-old daughter. He does maintenance for a homeowners association. Tyler is also a musician and enjoys performing, writing, and recording music.   Tyler had his first drink when he was in high school as simply a fun thing to do with friends. A health scare which ended up with tumor removal drove Tyler to feel he needed to live life to the fullest. He says his drinking increased as it was associated with having fun, and he discovered his passion for being a musician. That found him romanticizing alcohol, drinking more after gigs, and acquiring DUIs. Since a lot of people he knew had DUIs, it was considered normal and wasn’t taking seriously.   When he lost a close family member to cancer, Tyler says his drinking evolved from good and bad to ugly. He and his girlfriend went out often, and his drinking became more frequent both while out and while at home. Tyler had a lot of anger that would come out while drinking. These issues eventually found Tyler and his girlfriend splitting up.   Tyler started going to therapy and discovered that the loss of his aunt affected him more than he realized. He was able to process some of his anger and cut back on his drinking. He and his girlfriend got back together and six months ago their daughter was born. Tyler began to realize that his drinking was interfering with this new life and told his girlfriend he was ready to quit. At this time, he also reached out to a supportive cousin that has over 20 years in recovery.   Tyler says AA didn’t resonate with him, but books, podcasts and other peoples’ stories have been very helpful. He believes in recovering out loud.     Café RE – promo code OPPORTUNITY waives set up fee. RE merch Instagram   Recovery Elevator YouTube Sobriety Tracker iTunes      Recovery Elevator I love you guys. Go big because eventually we’ll all go home.
5/20/202450 minutes, 53 seconds
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RE 482: Advice For the Newly Sober

Episode 482 - Anna   Today we have Anna. She is 49 from North Georgia and took her last drink on December 22nd, 2017.   Better Help:  www.betterhelp.com/elevator - 10% off your first month. #sponsored   [02:09] Thoughts from Paul:   A few weeks ago, Paul made a post on the Recovery Elevator Instagram pages asking people what advice they would give to somebody who was about to quit drinking.   Thank you to everyone that commented on the video, there were well over 100 comments.   In this episode, he shares some of the comments and be sure to follow Recovery Elevator on Instagram if you don’t already.   The most common advice was don’t do this alone, reach out for help, and join a community.   We have partnered with Sober Link.  You can find some tips and can sign up for a $50 off promo code.   [11:16] Kris introduces Anna:   Anna lives in North Georgia and is a custodian at a middle school. For fun she enjoys hiking, camping and all things outdoors.   Anna first started drinking when she was 18 in college. Prior to that she was focused on being a runner and it was when an injury made her stop that she traded her running addiction for alcohol. She says that she was a blackout drinker from the beginning.   When asked by her now ex-husband why she drank Anna said it was because she wanted to. She believed it was a privilege to drink as long as she was keeping up with her responsibilities. At the time she didn’t believe that it wasn’t normal to be throwing up in the bathroom every day. She considered drinks as a reward for getting things done.   Anna got a DUI and was required to attend a recovery center. That put her back in contact with other people and she realized that she missed being social and doing things with other people. Her last day of drinking was when she went Christmas shopping and told herself that she wasn’t going to drink, but she did. The next morning, her kids told her they weren’t able to wake her up the night before. That’s when Anna realized she had lost the privilege and the desire to drink was gone.   About three weeks after that, she started attending AA and a group called FAVOR which had a kickball team. She enjoyed being able to do things with other people who didn’t drink. One of the reasons she was hesitant to quit drinking before was because she felt alcohol was involved in everything social.   Anna says that the 12 steps are a lifestyle for her. She enjoys the structure and routine of AA. After a few months, she got a sponsor and began to work the steps. Anna says that she enjoys being open minded about recovery and participating in things that are not AA. The first 90 days in recovery, Anna says she was very go with the flow. She feels she learned all she could from alcohol and was ready to learn the joy of recovery and getting to meet new people and learn new things again.   In sobriety, Anna enjoys traveling and meeting new people. She feels that life is meant to be experienced and she knows she has to take chances and meet new people. Anna feels she always has a group everywhere she goes. Sobriety gave Anna her confidence back and a sense of purpose. She feels that life challenges haven’t been nearly as hard since she is sober.   Anna’s favorite resource in recovery: “Café RE or AA, whatever I can get my hands on first if it’s just picking up and scrolling through Facebook or YouTube with listening to speakers.”   Anna’s parting piece of guidance: keep things simple, don’t compare yourself to other people, remember you cannot get drunk if you don’t pick up the first drink.       Café RE – promo code OPPORTUNITY waives set up fee. RE merch Instagram   Recovery Elevator YouTube Sobriety Tracker iTunes      Recovery Elevator We’re the only ones that can do this RE, but we don’t have to do it alone. I love you guys.
5/13/202456 minutes, 26 seconds
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RE 481: Collective Truths

Episode 481 - Collective Truths   Today we have Susie. She is 52 and lives in Lubbock, TX and took her last drink on February 10th, 2024.   Our alcohol-free retreat in Bozeman, MT on August 14th – 18th is currently sold out. But if you are interested in being put on the wait list, please email [email protected]   Better Help:  www.betterhelp.com/elevator - 10% off your first month. #sponsored   [02:18] Thoughts from Paul:   Paul’s goal with the introductions each week is to find a topic that we can collectively resonate with. His goal is for as many of us as possible to say “yep” or to nod our heads while listening.   There are many different types of listeners to the podcast. Some had already ditched the booze, some long ago and some more recently. Another group is still in the process of quitting drinking. We also have another group of listeners who are here to support a loved one who is struggling with alcohol. We are so glad you are here with us.   Paul lists the many reasons why people listen and what they are looking for by doing so. Ultimately, we are all here to grow.   Go Brewing. Use the code ELEVATOR for 15% off.   [09:58] Paul introduces Susie:   Susie is 52 and lives in Lubbock, TX with her husband of two years. She has been a hairstylist for many years and considers it her passion. Susie enjoys reading, exercise, enjoying the outdoors and attending sporting events.   Susie first experimented with alcohol when she was in high school and didn’t care for it. There was very little drinking for Susie throughout college and her 20’s. In Susie’s 30’s, her husband and she began to drink socially on the weekends but his drinking increasingly got worse and eventually the divorced due to his anger issues and alcohol abuse.   For a long time, Susie didn’t use alcohol as a coping mechanism but had other issues that she feels were attempts to avoid her feelings such as an eating disorder and excessive exercise. Susie reflects that she didn’t really have an off switch when she drank for events, but typically wouldn’t drink for a while afterwards.   Shortly after marrying her current husband, some issues started to arise in their relationship and Susie found herself beginning to use alcohol to cope. She says it wasn’t much of an issue until she began to try and hide how much she was drinking. It started to create issues in her marriage and Susie would find her husband leaving her a few times, which created feelings of abandonment and rejection.   After an event that led to Susie being hospitalized, she attended an IOP but left and continued drinking.  Her husband asked her to go to inpatient rehab, so she did, but she continued to drink afterwards and ended up taking another trip to rehab a few months later.  Her husband eventually ended up leaving, which was very eye-opening for Susie. She started attending a women’s AA group which she enjoyed and learned a lot from.   Going forward Susie plans to continue attending AA meetings when she can, and she just joined Café RE where she plans to be an active participant. She and her husband are separated now but are attending counseling and Susie feels hopeful about their future. Susie surrounds herself with positive people at work and has friends from rehab that she checks in with frequently.   Things Susie has learned about herself on this journey: self-acceptance; loving yourself. No matter where you are, you’re okay just the way you are.   Susie’s best sober moment: spending time with her husband going to sporting events sober.   Susie’s parting piece of guidance: don’t ever give up on yourself, don’t isolate yourself, always surround yourself with people.   Café RE – promo code OPPORTUNITY waives set up fee. RE merch Instagram   Recovery Elevator YouTube Sobriety Tracker iTunes      Recovery Elevator You took the elevator down; you gotta take the stairs back up. You can do this. I love you guys.
5/6/202449 minutes, 56 seconds
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RE 480: AF Legends

Episode 480 – AF Legends   Today we have Emily. She is 31 and lives in Raleigh, NC. She has been sober since March 17th, 2019.   Better Help:  www.betterhelp.com/elevator - 10% off your first month. #sponsored   [02:26] Thoughts from Paul:   Paul shares with us a list of his favorite AF (Alcohol Free) legends.   Included in the list is a man named Barry he met on the Gold Coast of Australia who taught him it’s the little things in life that create the most beautiful textures in life.   Another AF legend is Bill Wilson who together with Dr. Bob would become founders of Alcoholics Anonymous.   Paul also includes the 480 rock stars wo have shared their story on this podcast. Our interviewees have realized that for them to be successful, they have to help others. Thank you to all of the interviewees on the podcast.   Included in the list is Paul’s dog Ben. He taught him unconditional love.   And above all else, Paul feels the number one AF legend is the universe. It has provided everything he has needed for wholeness, happiness, and wellbeing. Even when being handed a roundhouse kick to the kidney, the universe only does so with the goal of promoting growth or to illuminate a better path.   Exact Nature: https://exactnature.com/RE20   [10:46] Kris introduces Emily:   Emily is 31 years old, and lives in Raleigh, NC. She has a Husky named Yogi and she works in water treatment. For fun she enjoys attending music festivals and concerts.   Emily says she is an adopted only child and grew up with wonderful parents that were always supportive. It was a religious household and while Emily feels she learned some great values through that, as she got older, she wanted to rebel a bit. Drinking with the older crowd was how she chose to do that and feels that she always drank to get drunk and didn’t see the point of drinking otherwise.   After high school Emily would have rather gone to the military instead of going to college, which was what was expected of her. She decided to go to school and join the reserves instead. Shortly after turning 18, she got a DUI which ruined the military path for her. School became a big party for Emily, and she ended up failing out of school. Emily was watching her peers graduate, start families and begin careers and she wasn’t sure what she was doing. She feels that this led to her drinking more to cope with the lost feelings she had. She would end up having two more DUI’s before she was 23.   While dealing with the consequences of these DUI’s, Emily went to rehab in Texas for 30 days. It was the first time she realized that she might have a problem but still wasn’t certain. After leaving inpatient treatment she started an outpatient program and was living in a sober house. She ended up transitioning to California and was excited to have a new start. Gradually drinking started back up for Emily and she ended up moving back to North Carolina because of how expensive it was where she was living.   After serving her probation from the DUIs, Emily found herself drinking again, but says it wasn’t as much as before. She was beginning to start working on her health with nutrition and exercise. Emily says that alcohol wasn’t fitting into her goals, so it slowly tapered off. She had one last hangover after St Patrick’s Day and decided she no longer wanted to feel that way anymore.   While working on sobriety, Emily learned that a friend from rehab had passed, and she used it as fuel to keep going. She was looking for podcasts and found Recovery Elevator. Listening to people’s stories really helped her and she started participating in communities learning that she was not alone.     Emily’s favorite resource in recovery: people   Emily’s parting piece of guidance: Be proud of the days that you don’t give up and celebrate even the small wins.       Café RE – promo code OPPORTUNITY waives set up fee. RE merch Instagram   Recovery Elevator YouTube Sobriety Tracker iTunes      Recovery Elevator We’re the only ones that can do this RE, but we don’t have to do it alone. I love you guys.
4/29/20241 hour, 14 seconds
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RE 479: Identity Shift

Episode 479 - Identity Shift   Today we have Destiny. She is 29 and lives in South Houston, TX. She took her last drink on December 30th, 2023.   Better Help:  www.betterhelp.com/elevator - 10% off your first month. #sponsored   Café RE just submitted its application to become a 501c3 non-profit organization. The team has been working on the application for about 8 months and we have been told, in another 4-6 months, Café RE will become a nonprofit.   We are going to be able to take our yearly service project to the next level, in which we can receive donations, then use those funds to make this planet a better place for all. Click the link below if you would like to check out Café RE.   Café RE – promo code OPPORTUNITY waives set up fee.   [03:12] Thoughts from Paul:   Paul shares with us that nothing is static, and everything is constantly changing. The roles we play in life are no exception. You are always changing. There was a time when your identity was an infant, then a child. Paul shares the many identities that he has had over the years and that he no longer identifies as a drinker.   Identities of some of the largest beer brands in the history of the world are changing seemingly overnight and they are changing their identities for one reason only. That is because you are changing your identity. White Claw now has an AF option, only because enough customers have changed their identities and are beginning to ask for it and that’s the only reason why White Claw has this option.   As your identity changes in regard to alcohol, start asking for what your identity craves. Next time you are at a restaurant, ask if they have an AF drink menu or what their options are.   It is 100% okay to change your identity to a non-drinker in a seemingly drunk world.   Athletic Greens   [09:19] Paul introduces Destiny:   Destiny is 29 years old; she is married, and they have a three-year-old son and a German Shorthaired Pointer. For work, Destiny is a nurse where she sees a lot of the damage that alcohol can cause.   Destiny began drinking in her teens and it progressed from there. She worked in the restaurant industry for almost 10 years while attending nursing school. After graduating and starting to work in the ICU, she spent a lot of her time off drinking.   She had her son in May of 2020 and suffered with some postpartum issues. Added to the already stressful ICU, the pandemic was happening, and she got married. Destiny says there was always an excuse to drink, and she often found herself the drunkest person in the room and frequently had blackouts.   Destiny would be able to quit for small stretches of time and would attempt forms of moderation. Her husband would mention that she was drinking too much, and she would deflect and shift some blame on the situations around her that she felt called for drinking.   A rock-bottom moment for Destiny was when she realized that her marriage was beginning to suffer along with all of her goals in life. She says she would have plans that she wanted to but felt like there was a wall that she kept running into. She pictures the wall as alcohol and everything else was on the other side.   Destiny has not gone to AA but says she enjoys reading books, listening to podcasts, and surrounding herself with supportive people who themselves do not drink. She has been spending a lot of time at the gym, she and her husband have started counseling, and she has be going to therapy. When the cravings hit, she plays the tape forward and recalls how things will end if she does decide to drink.   Destiny’s best sober moment: playing fetch with her dog and her young son.   Destiny’s parting piece of guidance: if you’re thinking about it, you should probably do it.   Café RE – promo code OPPORTUNITY waives set up fee. RE merch Instagram   Recovery Elevator YouTube Sobriety Tracker iTunes      Recovery Elevator I love you guys. Let’s go big because eventually we’ll all go home.
4/22/202443 minutes, 17 seconds
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RE 478: Unlocking Curiosity

Episode 478 – Unlocking Curiosity   Today we have Cyndi. She is 54 and lives in Denver, Colorado. She took her last drink on December 10th, 2023.   Better Help:  www.betterhelp.com/elevator - 10% off your first month. #sponsored   [02:08] Thoughts from Kris:   Kris shares how recovery has ignited his curiosity. While drinking, he didn’t step out of his comfort zone very much and feels he was perfection driven to offset the dumpster fire that was happening with his drinking. He didn’t feel safe not being good at things, so he never tried.   Since in recovery, Kris has taken up a plethora of hobbies, most recently welding. His garage now houses evidence of his hobbies and creating new things rather than the massive amount of empties from when he isolated in there with alcohol.   Kris now embraces his curiosity and lets himself fail as he learns new things.   When asked what they like to do for fun, many interviewees respond that they are still trying to figure that out and that’s normal as we can become immersed in the drinking life and it’s hard to find time for anything else.   What do you like to do for fun? What have you gotten back in sobriety? Or what would you like to be able to do? What’s holding you back? If you’re still in it, is there something that you could use as fuel or motivation?   Go Brewing. Use the code ELEVATOR for 15% off.   [8:56] Kris introduces Cyndi:   Cyndi is 54 years old and lives in Denver with her husband, cat, and dog. She has worked in the dental industry for the last 35 years and enjoys playing outside with her dog, hiking, camping, and cooking.   Cyndi’s first real exposure to alcohol was when she was 15. She was at a party where she worked and drank a lot of beer trying to keep up with everyone. Even though she was sick a few days afterwards, she was not deterred and found drinking fun.   Cyndi says she was “successful” at drinking for many years, but around 2019 she attended IOP but says it didn’t stop her. Her drinking soon created issues in the marriage, finding them separating from each other for periods of time and trying to use different tools to help Cyndi quit. After a particularly rough time, she started going to AA. She would be able to get a few months at a time and finally was able to achieve two years. Cyndi’s toxic job started taking over her life and she gradually stopped working on her sobriety which found her relapsing and starting the on again off again cycle again.   The relapse happens long before the first drink, Cyndi feels. Work started replacing meetings. Her husband was noticing that she was more tired and unhappy, and she was starting to spend more time isolating herself from him because she was drinking again. Eventually her drinking would lead to Cyndi losing her job and found her husband working on divorce papers. They ended up having a long talk about their situations and Cyndi started working hard on recovery again.   Cyndi ended up finding a much better job and she is now attending five meetings a week and has a new sponsor. This new job is much closer to where she lives and the meetings she likes to attend are on the same route as work. Cyndi has started therapy which she had never done before. Communication with her husband is better than it has ever been. Her faith is also stronger than it has ever been.   Cyndi’s plan in sobriety moving forward: to be proactive, have a check list of things that help her stay sober.   Cyndi’s parting piece of guidance: don’t quit quitting. Acknowledge your problem and get help one way or the other and just keep going.   [51:44] Outro:   Kris shares a song that he came across recently:  Hi Ren   Whether we’re fighting with ourselves, or others, when we’re in that dark place we can’t really win. BUT we can learn. We can find a way to be healthy and bring love and light into the world.   Café RE – promo code OPPORTUNITY waives set up fee. RE merch Instagram   Recovery Elevator YouTube Sobriety Tracker iTunes      Recovery Elevator We’re the only ones that can do this, but we don’t have to do it alone I love you guys.
4/15/202456 minutes, 26 seconds
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RE 477: It Can Be Done

Episode 477 – It Can Be Done   Today we have Jim. He is 44 and lives in Silicon Valley, CA. He took his last drink on February 20th, 2024.   Better Help:  www.betterhelp.com/elevator - 10% off your first month. #sponsored   [02:27] Thoughts from Paul:   Paul is coming up on ten years without a drink. He has attended many social situations without consuming any alcohol. When he told people he wasn’t drinking, the question he got was “Wait, you’re not drinking?” said as more of a statement of astonishment than anything. As in the impossible was happening right before their eyes and they were surprised someone could still have a good time without drinking.   A major factor of why ditching the booze can be so hard is that the thinking mind will tell you it can’t be done. The biggest reason for this is that an alcohol-free life lies in the unknown. The mind and the ego crave the known.   But it can be done. If you are on day one, a series of day ones, Paul reminds us that yes, it can be done. But for how long? A morning, an afternoon? A week? A month? A year? We are only ditching the booze one day at a time. Addiction forces us to confront the thinking mind. Addiction forces us to tease out who is who in the thinking mind. It forces us to locate and meet ourselves.   Sober Link.  You can find some tips and can sign up for a $50 off promo code.   [08:55] Paul introduces Jim:   Jim lives in Silicon Valley and is a software engineering manager for a large tech firm. He is 44 and happily married for 21 years with three young kids. He enjoys skiing, learning woodworking, and completing task lists.   Alcohol was a non-issue for much of Jim’s life. He tried it a few times when he was in his early teens, but he didn’t enjoy it much. He didn’t drink in high school or college and then drank very sporadically throughout his 20’s.   In his 30’s, the company he worked for would have gatherings at the end of the week where alcohol was provided. Jim says this was where he started enjoying drinking. Over time it progressed and there were some negative consequences for Jim at work and he started suffering with anxiety and depression. At the time, Jim felt like he was living multiple lives.   COVID era was a difficult time for Jim. He was working from home and had little to do so he found himself drinking more. When work became busy again, the distractions at home drove Jim to rent an office where he was more isolated and drinking earlier and earlier in the day.   On the way to a bible meeting one day after having a few drinks, Jim realized this wasn’t a great idea and decided to check out an AA meeting instead. He says that he went to several different types of meetings over the course of the year before anything really stuck for him.   Jim feared telling his wife about his problem, but knew he had to do it. Her initial response was not believing that Jim really had an issue with alcohol but started to feel betrayed when she realized how much he was hiding from her. Jim was determined to tackle the addiction and created his own path. This includes listening to podcasts and journalling every day. He has had a series of stops and starts in his recovery but feels that was part of the learning process and utilizes past journal entries to remind him of why quitting is the best thing for him.   After a recent relapse he started to feel very hopeless and knew he couldn’t continue on this path. Jim has leaned into his faith and scripture in addition to his own past journal entries to help him gain the resolve to try sobriety again. He is a member of Café RE and has an accountability partner which has helped him a lot.   Jim’s best sober moment: when his wife told him how proud she is of how far he is come.   Jim’s parting piece of guidance: if you get stuck, it’s ok, but you just can’t stay there.     Café RE – promo code OPPORTUNITY waives set up fee. RE merch Instagram   Recovery Elevator YouTube Sobriety Tracker iTunes      Recovery Elevator We all go home so we might as well go big. I love you guys.
4/8/202452 minutes, 7 seconds
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RE 476: Is Quitting Drinking Hard?

Episode 476 – Is Quitting Drinking Hard?   Today we have Tonya. She is 50 and lives in St Paul, MN. She took his last drink on August 21st, 2021.   Registration opens today for our annual retreat in the beautiful Rocky Mountains located outside of Bozeman, MT. This retreat is from Wednesday August 14th through Sunday August 18th, and it is going to be a blast! Click here for the full itinerary and to get pricing info.   Better Help:  www.betterhelp.com/elevator - 10% off your first month. #sponsored   [02:30] Thoughts from Paul:   Is quitting drinking hard? It can be, yes but if you have a drinking problem, quitting drinking is way easier than riding alcohol off into the sunset of self-destruction.    Here are some reasons why it can be a challenge:   1)    Your body has to detoxify itself form the chemical alcohol. 2)    You are going to have to learn some new routines and make new habits. 3)    You need to start building friendships where alcohol isn’t the foundation. 4)    Accept that boredom is a normal and healthy life experience.   Here are some glorious truths about quitting drinking:   1)    After 14-21 days you are going to get out of the brain fog and want more of the new “good-feeling” thing. 2)    No more checking message to see what you said the night before, you’ll remember the book you read, less sick days at work, and more money in your bank account. 3)    Your dopamine system rebalances. 4)    You are living life at face value and when we do that, we can start to build the life that no longer requires alcohol.   Go Brewing. Use the code ELEVATOR for 15% off.   [10:27] Kris introduces Tonya:   Tonya has been married for 21 years and they have two children who both attend the University of Minnesota. She recently left the corporate world to be an in-home professional organizer. She enjoys her work as well as cooking, tending her plants and in recovery she is always up for trying new things.   Tonya was born into a deeply religious family. They attended church daily along with going to school there. She says they were forced to pray for forgiveness everyday which left her feeling like a bad person.     Tonya didn’t drink until college because she didn’t want to be like her father who was an alcoholic. There was typical college-age partying, but Tonya says she always went a little further than everyone else. Some of her behavior led to losing friends and being seen as a liability on their travels. As she got older and wanted to get married and have kids, she was able to slow the drinking down a bit, but still drank heavily while out of town for work.   Having postpartum depression after her daughter was born, Tonya found she was using alcohol to cope with life. Over time her family started becoming concerned about her drinking, so she went to rehab for the first time. She didn’t end up being able to quit and struggled with the AA program. She would attend rehab five more times and while she learned a lot about the psychology and science behind alcohol and addiction, she didn’t actually quit.   Shortly after her 2nd DWI, Tonya lost her job for reasons that didn’t include alcohol although she admits she was physically addicted and drinking on the job. Unable to find another job she ended up sinking into her drinking and says she spent a year doing nothing else. After nearly ending her life, she realized that she didn’t want to do that to her daughter. She was at the end of her rope and ready to give recovery and AA another try. Tonya started going to different AA meetings and got a sponsor. She is grateful that she found community because she knows she couldn’t have done it on her own.   Tonya’s favorite resource in recovery:  Everything AA app, the AA and RE communities.   Tonya’s parting piece of guidance: Time. Things will get better in time. One day at a time. Get involved in community.     Café RE – promo code OPPORTUNITY waives set up fee. RE merch Instagram   Recovery Elevator YouTube Sobriety Tracker iTunes      Recovery Elevator We all go home so we might as well go big. I love you guys.
4/1/202459 minutes, 26 seconds
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RE 475: Almighty Ceiba

Episode 475 – I See You Ceiba   Today we have Shari. She is 60 and lives in Santa Barbara, CA. She took his last drink on December 31st, 2022.   In two weeks on April 1st, registration opens for our annual retreat in the beautiful Rocky Mountains located outside of Bozeman, MT. This retreat is from Wednesday August 14th through Sunday August 18th, and it is going to be a blast! Click here for the full itinerary and to get pricing info.   Check out our RE merch. We have hats, sweatshirts, tank tops, t-shirts and more.   Better Help:  www.betterhelp.com/elevator - 10% off your first month. #sponsored   [02:56] Thoughts from Paul:   Paul shares with us how the idea of Sober Travel first came to him. After a trip of a lifetime that went sideways for him, he knew the only way that he could do alcohol-free travel in the future was with alcohol-free travelers.   On the most recent sober trip to Costa Rica, Paul and other members of the cohort traveled to see a Ceiba tree that is at least 350-400 years old. He shares with us the history of the Ceiba tree and what they mean to the people that live around them. They also got to witness live sea turtles hatching and were able to release them into the surf. Quitting drinking is like the release of the sea turtle. Your new life awaits, and anything is possible.   Thank you to Sober Link  and Athletic Greens for partnering with us on this event.   [09:46] Paul introduces Shari:   Shari is 60 years old and lives in Santa Barbara, CA. She has been married for 34 years and has furry children rather than human children. She works in consumer-packaged goods and operations and for fun enjoys cycling, hiking, and walking.   Shari took her first drink when she was 13 and it resulted in a blackout and being extremely sick. She went through her teen years drinking whenever she had the opportunity, which was always problematic.   Shari had multiple DUI’s by the age of 24 and with her second one was forced to go to AA and take a yearlong course in alcohol education. It was then that she realized she was an alcoholic. She didn’t want to go to AA but she did find some nice people there. After a few stops and starts she was able to get and stay sober for 8 years and used hosting meetings as accountability to stay sober. Over time she started to slow down her attendance at meetings and started drinking again during a particularly stressful time in her life.   Shari was putting parameters around her drinking after she started again and was able to maintain it to a degree. She would have varying stages of abstinence, and this continued for the next 20 years. Shari says she didn’t work very hard at AA during this time, and limited the connections she was making with other people.   When she moved back to Santa Barbara 10 years ago, her parents health was deteriorating. Watching her father drink problematically reminded her that she didn’t want to go down that path. Shari started looking for other modalities to help her quit drinking. She started reading quit lit and joined The Tempest sobriety course with Holly Whitaker. She started listening to RE where the idea that we can’t do this alone really resonated with her.   Shari loves that there are so many more options in the recovery space now. She recognizes that everything she does these days is for her recovery. Therapy, exercise, eating right, connecting with people and reading – they all feed her soul and keep her grounded. Finding community and attending more meetings with fellow travelers on the journey was initially uncomfortable for Shari. But she knew she needed to get out of the comfort zone and join the conversations.   Shari’s best sober moment: the breathwork she participated in at Bozeman last year.   Shari’s parting piece of guidance: never quit quitting and you shouldn’t do it alone.     Café RE – promo code OPPORTUNITY waives set up fee. Instagram   Recovery Elevator YouTube Sobriety Tracker iTunes      Recovery Elevator Go big, because eventually we all go home. I love you guys.
3/25/202450 minutes, 27 seconds
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RE 474: If You’re Serious About Change

Episode 474 – If You’re Serious About Change   Today we have Nick. He is 36 years old from Grand Rapids, MI. He took his last drink on January 19th, 2021.   In two weeks on April 1st, registration opens for our annual retreat in the beautiful Rocky Mountains located outside of Bozeman, MT. This retreat is from Wednesday August 14th through Sunday August 18th, and it is going to be a blast! Click here for the full itinerary and to get pricing info.   Better Help:  www.betterhelp.com/elevator - 10% off your first month. #sponsored   [02:41] Thoughts from Paul:   Paul likes Instagram because it’s a platform for artists, for teachers, for musicians, for dancers, and more to showcase their talents.   Paul shares with us audio from a video he found while on Instagram. Here’s the scene: It’s a busy city street at nightfall, when a gentlemen comes to a skidding halt on his electric motorbike wearing a microwave as a helmet. When his motorbike comes to a stop, he pushes the open microwave door button, and begins to speak. Check out the video here.   If you are serious about change, there will be shitty times, but trust the process because in the long run you’re going to be a better person.   The biggest gift Paul gets while doing Recovery Elevator podcast is witnessing the change made daily. This change, added up over many days, months and even years, results in quite the transformation.   Check out our sponsor Go Brewing. Use the code ELEVATOR for 15% off.   [08:40] Kris introduces Nick:   Nick is a real estate agent in Grand Rapids, MI. He enjoys outdoor activities in his free time. He has a boyfriend and a dog that he takes everywhere with him.   Nick says he started drinking in high school when he and his friends would pillage the parents’ liquor cabinets. He enjoyed alcohol because it freed his inhibitions. As someone who was coming to terms with being gay in a conservative city and kept it a secret for a while. The internal struggle drove Nick to enjoy checking out and alcohol was the way he chose to do that.   In his late teens, Nick started working in the food and beverage industry. He felt very welcome at the gay bars he worked in but didn’t have good role models. He knew in his early twenties that his drinking needed to eventually be addressed but wasn’t ready at that time. Nick says he was very functional but drank daily. He feels he was just surviving at that point in time.   Nick started thinking about quitting when he was in his early thirties. He says he was stuck there for a while trying to determine if he really had a problem. He started utilizing his ADHD medication to help him be able to drink more. The planning and rituals became exhausting. Drinking progressed beyond “only after the responsibilities are done” to finding reasons to start earlier.   Nick’s first stint at sobriety was in 2018 when he joined a local IOP and AA and was able to remain sober for about four months while learning a lot about addiction. His partner at the time drank heavily and eventually Nick gave up his sobriety. His rock bottom came when he was hiking with his dog hungover and realized how miserable he was and questioned if this was how he wanted to live his life. The next day he went back to AA.   After working the steps with a sponsor, Nick felt empowered. He says he went on a quest for sobriety and tried out other modalities. When a sober travel trip to Costa Rica with RE coincided with his one-year milestone, he decided to go and feels he gained a lot from that trip.   Within the past year Nick has changed careers and feels the best he has ever felt. Going forward, he plans to keep growing in his career and nurturing his sobriety.   Nick’s favorite resource in recovery: Recovery Elevator podcast   Nick’s parting piece of guidance: the harder you fight addiction, the more entangled you are so just let go.   Café RE – promo code OPPORTUNITY waives set up fee. Instagram   Recovery Elevator YouTube Sobriety Tracker iTunes      Recovery Elevator Go big, because eventually we all go home. I love you guys.
3/18/202450 minutes, 12 seconds
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RE 473: An Easier Softer Way

Episode 473 – An Easier Softer Way   Today we have Lee. He is 43 and lives in the United Kingdom. He took his last drink on August 17th, 2020.   If you have found the Recovery Elevator podcast helpful to you, please take a moment to leave a review in either iTunes or Spotify. This helps you shred the shame and helps our show reach more listeners.   Café RE is Recovery Elevator’s alcohol-free community. We are 1,400 strong and have one goal in mind which is to leave the booze behind.  We are connecting over the pain points of alcohol and collectively creating the momentum needed to find wholeness without alcohol. If you would like to join, use the promo code OPPORTUNITY to waive the set-up fee.   [03:41] Thoughts from Paul:   There are a million reasons why people drink. One reason is relief. Now thank you alcohol for providing myself relief when I needed it most. Then there came a time, and it wasn't overnight when the source of relief became less effective. Alcohol then provided no relief at all. Then it became a source of discomfort itself.   Now the most excruciating part of a drinking problem is when we reach for alcohol to seek harmony, but it only brings pain. Now the conscious mind knows the outcome, it knows it won't work. But in the unconscious, it is still inscribed like a commandment on a clay tablet that alcohol will deliver the goods.   So, listeners, the seed I want to plant with you today, that even though we live in a world full of messaging and imagery saying that alcohol will enhance your life, in reality, the truth is an alcohol-free life is the easier, softer way.   Sober Link – receive $50 off of a device.   [08:33] Paul introduces Lee:   Lee is from Birmingham, UK where he lives with his wife and two kids. He works for a paint manufacturer and for fun he enjoys exercise.   Lee’s first taste of alcohol was when he was 8 and he thought it was terrible. Around age 14 he attended a party where there was alcohol, and he enjoyed the buzz he got from drinking until the next morning when he felt hungover. It was a few years later before he started drinking regularly. Lee utilized alcohol to combat insecurities and be more social.   People told Lee that after he was married and had kids that he would settle down, but Lee says his drinking got worse. He says he selfishly thought about how he could go home and drink in the house alone while his wife may be staying overnight after the birth of their second child. Even after wrecking his car while drunk, Lee did not see that he had a problem. Instead of going to the hospital, he left for the shop to get more alcohol.   The drinking started putting a strain on his relationship with his wife. The cycle of arguments and Lee leaving the home for a few days only to return asking for forgiveness went on for about six months. After a particularly bad event where Lee couldn’t remember the events of the days he was gone from home, he had an anxiety attack. Lee finally admitted to himself that he had a problem and reached out to AA.   Lee started attending AA meetings via Zoom and was still drinking and just listening. He started to see what everyone had, and they seemed happy. At that point he decided to give quitting a try.   Lee says the first few months were horrific. He couldn’t concentrate and was very irritable. He kept going to meetings and listening to everyone tell him it was going to get better but struggled to see it. The next several months found him sleeping better and feeling 95-96% less anxiety. After 18 months to 2 years, he has been able to forgive himself for things I did when he was drinking. He feels he is no longer to try being sober, instead he is living a sober life.   Lee’s best sober moment: getting his family back and being more present with them.   Lee’s parting piece of guidance: take it one day at a time. If you can’t do that, do a half day, do an hour, you’ll get there eventually.   Instagram   Recovery Elevator YouTube Sobriety Tracker iTunes      Recovery Elevator Go big, because eventually we all go home. I love you guys.
3/11/202443 minutes, 2 seconds
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RE 472: Shifting Seasons

Episode 472 – Shifting Seasons   Today we have Erin. She is 45 and lives outside of Boston. She took her last drink on December 26th, 2021.   Better Help:  www.betterhelp.com/elevator - 10% off your first month. #sponsored   [01:52] Thoughts from Kris:   The transition out of winter is one of Kris’ favorites. He sees it as an awakening. He took the cue from Mother Nature and paused this season. No big decisions or changes. Just time to reflect on things. Now that nature is starting to wake back up, he feels it’s time for him to do the same.   Kris reflects on his first spring in recovery and how the nice weather worried him. He started connecting with multiple recovery groups, discovering his triggers, digging into his whys and was able to feel connected to something bigger than himself. Being a part of a recovery community is cool that way... we see the reward in our own growth, but we’re contributing to the growth of the whole as well.   Wherever you are this spring, that’s right where you’re supposed to be. Where you go from here is up to you. What tools do you have that you’re using? What tools aren’t you using? Is this a season to pick something up, or one to let some things go? Only you can answer these questions for yourself.   Check out our sponsor Go Brewing. Use the code ELEVATOR for 15% off.   [09:08] Kris introduces Erin:   Erin is 45 and lives about 13 miles outside of Boston. She works as a senior paralegal for a large corporation and works for Rover on the side where she takes care of other people’s animals.   Erin says her exposure to alcohol was limited to family drinking on holidays or special occasions, but she never tried drinking until she went away to college. What started as curiosity, ended up as binge drinking and partying multiple days of the week when she joined a sorority.   After getting married, Erin says the drinking was more casual on the weekends or when out and about. After a tough breakup in her early thirties, Erin found herself living alone, working two jobs, and going back to finish college.   During her second marriage, Erin says she and her husband drank a lot socially. Her husband was the life of the party when they were out, but home there was a very different scene that found Erin drinking in isolation to deal with it. She didn’t feel she had a way out as she was financially dependent on her husband at the time.   Eventually Erin was able to leave the relationship and started over single in a new town. She surrounded herself with people that drank like her, but deep down she knew she didn’t drink like everyone else. Alcohol became her best friend and her drinking got worse during the pandemic as she was isolated and now didn’t have the safety of working in the office.   Returning to the office in early 2021 was helpful to her mental health, but she still knew she was drinking too much on the evenings and weekends.   A cousin was sharing how great they felt at 60 days of sobriety which made her become sober curious. Planning to do Dry January with a friend, Erin found herself starting early after getting sick with COVID.   In the early days, Erin continued to go to the bar where her friends were, but she recognized that wasn’t good for her. Instead, she started walking more, listening to podcasts, and going to therapy. She was beginning to gain confidence and faith in herself.   Erin’s favorite resource in recovery: RE podcast, Wayne Dyer   Erin’s plan moving forward: continue therapy and connecting with others.   Kris wants to hear from you, listeners! What are you looking forward to this spring?  Do you feel something different this year compared to years past?   Email [email protected] and let him know what this spring has in store for your or what you hope to see from it.   Café RE – promo code OPPORTUNITY waives set up fee. Instagram   Recovery Elevator YouTube Sobriety Tracker iTunes      Recovery Elevator We might as well go big RE, because eventually we all go home. I love you guys.
3/4/202455 minutes, 31 seconds
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RE 471: Progress and Perfection

Episode 471 – Progress and Perfection   Today we have Carl. He is 52 years old and lives in California. He took his last drink on August 22nd, 2014.   Café RE – promo code OPPORTUNITY waives set up fee.   [03:08] Thoughts from Paul:   Arriving at a perfect balance with progress and perfection is ungodly hard, and we all struggle with it.   No one is perfect and if you’re telling yourself, you should be doing more of ABC and less of XYZ, welcome to the party, welcome to the human condition. There is progress though, you are self-aware which is more than 1/2 the battle.   We have to have dualities, for example, tall to know short, you need silence to know sound. You have to have imperfection to know perfection. They are both equally important and you can’t have one without the other.   So, with progress not perfection, most of us are using someone else’s version of perfection to define ourselves. While your soul is remarkably perfect, this is no perfection in this perfectly imperfect world. Go do you, and remember we are all just walking each other home.   Athletic Greens   [09:52] Paul introduces Carl:   Carl is 52 years old, and he is a graphic artist. Carl admits he didn’t have a lot of fun before recovery but now enjoys writing, painting, drawing, and podcasting. He is the creator of Sober Pod Recovery Podcast.   Carl had been in treatment as early as 15 years old and says that even while doing programs, he was essentially a dry drunk. He had other addictions and was able to get sober for five years before a relapse.   Carl married his childhood sweetheart who had a child from a previous relationship. Together they had three more children. He says he drank alcoholically and while he was functional, he pushed the limits and was mixing copious amounts of alcohol with other drugs. He would take the online tests and the conclusions would all lead to treatment.   Health consequences were happening for Carl, but he resigned myself to being the guy who drinks himself to death.  Towards the end he was able to string a few days together here and there, and since he had been able to quit a heavy meth addiction years earlier in life, he considered himself lucky to just be an alcoholic. After two years of trying to quit drinking with little success, he joined a Reddit Quit Drinking page and shared some of his story. The feedback he found the next day after posing shared that he was likely doing damage to his family and that stung a little bit. Another person shared with him that he deserved to be happy, and Carl had never felt that way before.   Carl had gained 60 days of sobriety and then attended some AA meetings. It wasn’t a new scene for him but this time it was different, and he started going back. He was frustrated, acknowledging that in order to stay sober he was going to have to keep going. He didn’t want to be one of those people, but he decided to give it a try and work on the steps with sponsors.   Over time he was starting to feel more connected to the community and doing more service work. Reading became important to Carl, learning more and more about the path he wanted to go on. His creativity suffered initially in sobriety but says it has come back 100-fold. He reflects that AA should be used as a launching pad.   Carl’s perspective on the point of life: the meaning of life is to find what you’re good at, the purpose of life is to give it away to others.   Instagram   Recovery Elevator YouTube Sobriety Tracker iTunes      Recovery Elevator We took the elevator down, we got to take the stairs back up. I love you guys.
2/26/202459 minutes
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RE 470: Why Alcoholics Don’t Get Hangovers…?

Episode 470 – Why Alcoholics Don’t Get Hangovers…?   Today we have Lara. She is 40 years old and lives in Northwest Arkansas. She took her last drink on August 8th, 2019.   We are putting a call out for early sobriety interviews. We want to hear from you guys. Please email [email protected].   Upcoming events: We start our six-week Ditching the Booze course, the what, the why and the how. This course is for Café RE members only and use the promo code “OPPORTUNITY” to waive the set-up fee if you are interested in joining us.   Registration for our 6th annual retreat in Bozeman, Montana opens Monday April 1st. We come together as a group and we laugh, we heal, we eat blueberry pancakes, play kickball, and have a great time.   Better Help:  www.betterhelp.com/elevator - 10% off your first month. #sponsored   [04:12] Thoughts from Paul:   There was a great question during our Dry January class that asked “Why don’t alcoholics get hangovers?” Paul did a YouTube video about this but wanted to share more here.   Truth is, they do get hangovers, but they usually begin drinking before the full amount of alcohol can be metabolized in their system that they drank the day or night before. As tolerance develops with alcohol, the hangover gets pushed back later in the day the next day. A chronic drinker who drinks 10-15 drinks daily, won’t begin the hangover cycle at 8am the next morning, but more likely, they will experience the worst of the withdrawal effects later that day or evening.   Chronic drinkers are almost always experiencing a low to mid-grade hangover. In other words, they feel like shit all the time. First alcohol takes you to a place where you are no longer drinking to feel good, but to simply feel normal. They you are drinking to simply not feel like death. And then the worst place is when you are simply drinking not to die.   *HUGE ASTERISK* Alcohol is the most dangerous substance to detox from. If you have been drinking 5-8 drinks daily, for months or years, then it’s a very good idea to seek medical attention when detoxing.   Go Brewing. Use the code ELEVATOR for 15% off.   [09:26] Kris introduces Lara:   Lara is married and they have two dogs. After teaching preschool for 12-13 years she now teaches Pilates. She enjoys going to concerts and spending time outdoors. Lara had limited exposure to alcohol until she went to college. While there, she found friends, and they drank regularly. What started out as being fun soon became a way for Lara to ignore her mental health issues that were creating a dark depression. After graduating and the issues getting worse, she ended up going to a psych ward for a few weeks and was diagnosed with bipolar disorder. She moved back home to live with her parents while she figured out what life was going to look like with the new diagnosis. She continued to drink in spite of the medications.   Lara went to grad school in Colorado and was surrounded by friends and the drinking felt normal. She wasn’t having major consequences until after getting married and she realized the drinking was happening all the time. Her husband ended up quitting drinking and while Lara supported him by quitting too, she didn’t feel that she had a problem.   Lara found herself reaching out to others to help support her as the spouse of someone quitting drinking. Over time she started realizing that recovery was her path as well. Lara says that she has learned that she knows how to ask for help if she needs it now. She and her husband share a sobriety date and their life has done a 180. Alcohol is no longer an issue, and they just enjoy living life.   Lara’s favorite resource in recovery: Holly Whitaker’s book Quit Like a Woman.   Lara’s parting piece of guidance: Just find one person who you can talk to.   Instagram   Recovery Elevator YouTube Sobriety Tracker iTunes      Recovery Elevator You’re the only one that can do this, but you don’t have to do it alone. I love you guys.
2/19/202457 minutes, 46 seconds
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RE 469: 10 Facts About Americans and Alcohol

Episode 469 - 10 Facts About Americans and Alcohol   Today we have Lisa. She is 66 years old and lives in Atlanta, GA. She took her last drink on November 16th, 2022.   Café RE – use the code OPPORTUNITY to waive the setup fee.   [02:51] Thoughts from Paul:   Paul shares with us ten facts about Americans and their drinking habits that he found in an article from the Pew Research Center.   The article shares with us statistics regarding what people are drinking and where alcohol consumption is the highest, along with statistics about age and income ranges.   The biggest takeaway from this article is the first stat that says, “Only 62% of U.S. adults say they drink” while 38% abstain completely. Not everyone is kung fu fighting. There is a voice inside the head that says, “Everybody drinks”, but right there we just debunked that myth. A lot of people don’t drink because they don’t want to. Many people don’t drink because their forced to. Whatever the reason is, about 40% of Americans don’t drink.   And although alcohol consumption is rising, we’re seeing the younger generations say no, like no previous generation has done so.   Check out Sober Link.  You can find some tips and can sign up for a $50 off promo code.     [10:00] Paul introduces Lisa:   Lisa is a repeat guest from episode 411. She took her last drink on November 16th, 2022. She is 66 and lives outside of Atlanta. She has been married for 37 years and they have two adult children. Lisa enjoys working out, traveling, reading, and listening to podcasts.   Lisa grew up in a close family, but her parents had a miserable marriage. Her mother drank to deal with it and the drinking increased when Lisa was in middle school. Upon trying her first drink in high school, she didn’t have the “wow” moment at first but quickly found it gave her confidence and she felt accepted and less insecure with her friends.   After graduating college and entering the booming computer software industry, Lisa found herself drinking at a lot of parties, conferences, and sales meetings. She says her husband didn’t drink much. Aside from when she was pregnant, Lisa drank in a way that she considered normal.   In her 40’s, Lisa and her husband left the corporate world and started their own business. It was successful but very stressful. She says her drinking ramped up and she was beginning to try and hide the wine bottles from her husband.   After a fall Lisa had during a blackout, her doctor referred her to a counselor. She discovered AA and was able to stay sober for a year without doing the work. Soon after the year mark, Lisa thought she could moderate and started drinking again. She was successful with moderation at first, but after retiring, finding herself as the sole caretaker for her elderly mother, the drinking increased again.   One night Lisa found herself pouring a glass of wine that she really didn’t want and it was then she decided enough was enough. This time Lisa decided to get help. She went to AA and didn’t feel it was working for her. She discovered a Facebook group called SoberSis as well as Café RE. After her last interview, she was connected with a lot of other ladies that she is still connected with today.   Last year found Lisa tending to several health scares, several surgeries, and the unexpected loss of her parents eight weeks apart. Lisa says that gratitude, using the tools she has learned in the sober community as well as her faith and family has helped her remain sober through it all.   Lisa’s favorite ways to relax deep breathing and exercise.   Lisa’s advice for somebody struggling with life and alcohol: find a way to connect no matter how uncomfortable it is, we have to have connections.   Café RE – use the code OPPORTUNITY to waive the setup fee. Instagram   Recovery Elevator YouTube Sobriety Tracker iTunes      Recovery Elevator Go big, because eventually we’ll all go home. I love you guys.
2/12/202452 minutes, 36 seconds
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RE 468: A Day in the Life

Episode 468 – A Day in the Life   Today we have Amber. She is 41 years old and lives in San Luis Obispo. She took her last drink on May 26th, 2020.   “First it is an intention; then a behavior; then a practice; then a habit; then second nature; then it is simply who you are".   Better Help:  www.betterhelp.com/elevator - 10% off your first month. #sponsored   [03:04] Thoughts from Paul:   Paul shares with us what a typical day in sobriety looks like for him.   He starts his days with hydration, breathwork and/or stretching, reading and coffee. He takes time to connect with the universe and asks for guidance throughout the day.   Paul likes to reflect on what he is thankful for either in a journal or he sits in a comfortable location outside facing the sun while he closes his eyes and gives thanks. Even on shit days, he makes a point to thank the universe.   Reminding himself that the present moment is all that matters, spending time in nature, doing things that he enjoys, connecting with fellow sober peeps, and being creative are also very important to Paul.   Go Brewing use the code elevator at checkout for 15% off.   [12:13] Kris introduces Amber:   Amber is 41 years old; she has two boys and a partner in crime. She works as a 2nd grade teacher, in addition to being a running and sobriety coach. They live in San Luis Obispo, CA and enjoys hiking, mountain biking, running, and swimming.   Growing up, Amber says she was always shy and preferred to be in the background. She was introduced to alcohol in high school and discovered it helped her feel confident and have fun. She didn’t really enjoy the taste, but she loved the way it made her feel and she and her friends drank every weekend.   After going to college, Amber says her drinking only increased. She was recruited to be on the softball team with a full scholarship. The practice and academic schedule was challenging and her drinking increased from every weekend to nearly every day. She gained weight, she wasn’t studying, and her grades were suffering. Her performance on the team found her on the bench often and eventually she was cut from the team and lost everything.   Amber moved to San Diego and finished college there while working in restaurants. She says her drinking increased even more and she got a DUI a few years later. Shortly after that experience, Amber decided to join a teaching career and the stress of it found her relying on alcohol at the end of the day.   Amber says a turning point came after getting married and having two children back-to-back. She had many roles to fill but was still drinking two bottles of wine a night. Finally figuring out that she wanted more for her life, Amber filed for divorce and started taking better care of herself. She started running as an outlet for her emotions and found herself meditating, which she feels helped her make decisions. She looked at her sobriety as a fresh start.   Initially Amber was quiet about her recovery and felt she could figure it out on her own. Once she realized that wasn’t working, she found Celebrate Recovery, got a sponsor, and started doing the work. Once she started meeting more and more people in recovery she stopped feeling alone.   Amber left her teaching job and started her own business as a sober running coach. She started a sober running group Recovery Road Runners and they do a lot of fun things together and help other people stay sober.   Amber encourages people to find physical activities that they enjoy doing, maybe things they did when they were kids. She also suggests vision boards to think about where you want to be in the future and goals you may have.   Amber’s biggest fear when she quit drinking: “That I would never have any fun again, total lie. I have way more fun now.”     Café RE – use the code OPPORTUNITY to waive the setup fee. Instagram   Recovery Elevator YouTube Sobriety Tracker iTunes      Recovery Elevator We’re the only ones that can do this, but we don’t have to do it alone. I love you guys.
2/5/202459 minutes, 31 seconds
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RE 467: A Good Cry

Episode 467 – A Good Cry     Today we have Andrea. She is 47 years old and lives in Phoenix, AZ. She took her last drink on November 9th, 2021.   Better Help:  www.betterhelp.com/elevator - 10% off your first month. #sponsored   [02:12] Thoughts from Paul:   Paul shares a quote with us that says, “decide what life you want to live and say no to everything else”.  This same quote can be applied to your thoughts.    What comes to mind after reading this quote is the word “purge”. Saying no and letting go of things that don’t fit the life we want to live isn’t easy, but it is healthy and so is crying.   Emotional tears have many health benefits. They contain stress hormones and other toxins. Researchers have theorized that crying flushes these toxins out of your system. A good cry also activates the parasympathetic nervous system which sends signals of calm and restoration to the body. In addition to this, crying dulls pain and releases oxytocin and endorphins. It is a way for the body to find a new emotional balance. A much better way than using alcohol.   If you're finding emotions hard to deal with in sobriety then give the body permission to purge them out in the form of tears. Go ahead and lean into the millions of years of universal intelligence the body possesses and have a good cry.   Café RE – use the code OPPORTUNITY to waive the setup fee.   [09:28] Paul introduces Andrea:   Andrea is 47 years old and lives near Phoenix. She has four children, two grandchildren and a Great Pyrenees. She works with people with substance abuse disorders and is working on a master’s in social work. For fun she enjoys jogging, hiking, DIY projects and documentaries.   Andrea and her family moved around a lot when she was going up which made it hard for her to keep friends. She had her first drink shortly after she discovered that her father was cheating on her mother. She felt the calming effects the first time and drank every change she could get during her teens.   Andrea started bartending when she was 19. This found her drinking a lot after work which was creating some issues in her marriage. She was able to abstain from alcohol during all of her pregnancies but would drink as soon as she could after.   The alcohol was creating issues in the marriage and when Andrea was 22, she went to rehab but didn’t stay quit after leaving. A few years later she lost her mother to cancer and Andrea says that’s the first time she drank to numb pain rather than just a socialization tool.   The first consequence Andrea had was losing her nursing license after an arrest. When they were about to extend her probationary period where she could not drink without hiding it, she decided she didn’t want to do it and turned in her license. Her heavy drinking would continue throughout her 20’s and 30’s.   After her divorce when she was 41, Andrea did start exploring whether or not she had a drinking problem. She was beginning to see the consequences to her health and was realizing she didn’t want this to be her legacy. She was gradually able to stack days together and eventually reached 90 days where she kept on going. The first year found Andrea continuing to read quit lit, listen to podcasts and attend a few AA meetings.   Her decision to work on her relationships after year one was cut short when she lost a daughter to a drunk driving accident. Instantly she reached out to some sober friends to help her keep from drinking. Andrea feels that her sobriety has been a gift throughout this and helped her be there for her other children and grandchildren.   Andrea has been attending AA, going to school, and making new friends in social situations she would have avoided in the past. Giving back is important to Andrea as she pursues her master’s in social work.   Andrea’s favorite sobriety resources: podcasts, quit lit, The Phoenix   Andrea’s parting piece of guidance: the sooner you ditch the booze, the sooner you can start living.   Instagram   Recovery Elevator YouTube Sobriety Tracker iTunes      Recovery Elevator Go big, because eventually we’ll all go home. I love you guys.
1/29/202451 minutes, 51 seconds
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RE 466: What Should I Do Now?

Episode 466 – What Should I Do Now?     Today we have Rick. He is 46 years old and lives in New Hampshire. He took his last drink on September 9th, 2023.   This Saturday, January 27th we start our six-week alcohol-free ukulele course. We meet for six weeks with a group of rock stars exploring life without alcohol, and who want to learn a new hobby in recovery.   This course is brought to you by Kala Brand. If you need to pick up a ukulele, click the link and use the promo code ELEVATOR24 for a discount.   The collaboration between Go Brewing and Recovery Elevator is here! Pick up your limited edition RE Sunbeam Pils, using the code elevator at checkout for 15% off and free shipping on orders overt $40.   [02:45] Ponderings from Kris:   For many of us on this journey, we start in a survival state of mind. The early days are filled with some basic life skills. How do I not drink when I get home from work? How do I handle conflict with people in my life? What do I do when I’m bored, stressed, sad, angry, or how am I supposed to celebrate? Kris reminds us that it is normal to focus on these things.   After a while there is a shift to “what’s next?”. Recovering people before us have figured out that in order to keep what we have found in recovery; we have to give it away.   We have had our struggles, and some of us have been through some really challenging situations that led up to, or as a result of our alcohol usage, but we don’t have to let that keep us down! Who is better equipped to talk to someone struggling with substance abuse than a peer that has been through the same thing?   Kris feels that there is something beautiful about taking the dark parts of our lives and using it to bring light to someone in need. You are more than your story. You are more than the dark times. You are a walking example of hope. You are proof that the courage to change exists.   Athletic Greens: https://www.athleticgreens.com/recovery   [11:07] Kris introduces Rick:   Rick is 46 and lives in New Hampshire. He has been married to his wife for 19 years and they have three daughters. He works for a family car business. He enjoys cooking, spending time with his kids, and playing games.   Rick says his first experience drinking alcohol was when he was in France on a singing tour in high school. He recalls feeling very sick on the 7-hour bus ride across Europe the next day. Beyond a few other times at parties, Rick didn’t really drink much after that until college.   Having his first taste of freedom his freshman year, the focus was on partying and drinking. Rick says that after that it was the traditional drinking that is often part of the college experience.   When Rick started working in the family business, that’s when he says his drinking went from being on the weekends to drinking daily after work. Over time it progressed, and his wife would occasionally mention that it seemed like he was having a little too much. He would back off for a bit but never had the intention of quitting forever. He tried a lot of moderation techniques that didn’t work, and he would end up feeling bad about himself.   Over the last few years Rick has been listening to podcasts, quit lit and joined sobriety support pages online. He feels that listening to other people’s stories has helped him a lot. After a comment from his wife that made him look differently at his drinking, he decided to try and quit again. Changing his perspective and sharing his recovery with his wife gave him a sense of relief. Finding connections in recovery communities and with a local friend that is in recovery as well, has solidified his resolve.   Rick’s plan for sobriety moving forward: Stay engaged in community, join Café RE chats and check in daily on the Stop Drinking subreddit. Maybe host  a chat to give back.   Rick’s favorite resources in recovery: podcasts, audiobooks     Instagram   Recovery Elevator YouTube Sobriety Tracker iTunes      Recovery Elevator We’re the only ones that can do this RE, but we don’t have to do it alone. I love you guys.
1/22/202459 minutes, 57 seconds
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RE 465: Drink Responsibly?

Episode 465 – Drink Responsibly?     Today we have Kevin. He is 44 years old and lives in Cleveland, OH. He took his last drink on April 28th, 2018.   I want to give a shout out to our DRY January REstore cohort. We’re 1/2 way there, you all are doing a fantastic job, I’ll see you all tonight.   On January 27th we start our six-week alcohol-free ukelele course. This course is brought to you by Kala Brand.   Better Help:  www.betterhelp.com/elevator - 10% off your first month. #sponsored   [03:09] Thoughts from Paul:   One of the main goals at Recovery Elevator is to soften the stigma surrounding alcohol addiction and recovery. Another goal is to give listeners permission to shred the shame and recover our authentic selves along the way.   The phrase “Drink Responsibly” is such a cop out and doesn’t do anything but place blame on the drinker. Alcohol is the most addictive drug on the planet, and you won’t see other drugs proclaiming that you use the substance responsibly. We can do the “Drink Responsibly” thing way better and at the same time bring more people together in community from both sides of the aisle to heal.   A favorite NA beverage company of Paul’s, GO Brewing and Recovery Elevator have partnered up to release 180 six packs of their award-winning Sunbeam Pilsner. GO Brewing was started by a fellow member in the recovery space, Joe Chura. This is two companies who have a similar goal, uniting, in attempts to shred the shame around alcohol addiction.   Pick up your limited edition RE Sunbeam Pils, use the code elevator at checkout for 15% off and free shipping on orders over $40.   Andrew Huberman – What Alcohol Does to Your Body, Brain & Health   Exact Nature: https://exactnature.com/RE20   [10:20] Paul introduces Kevin:   Kevin is 44 years old and lives in Cleveland area, he is the head of coaching for the Reframe app and a former accountant. Kevin is married and for fun he enjoys attending his daughter’s sporting events, reading and just relaxing when he isn’t working.   Kevin says his drinking began in college where he was in a fraternity and played sports. His drinking transferred into his career where there was a lot of stress, happy hours, and deadline parties where binge drinking was a way to socialize.   Kevin and his wife got married when he was 23 and had their daughter when he was 27. His drinking increased as a way to cope with the high stress of his career. After some blood work found him diagnosed with fatty liver, he tried moderation and different attempts at taking breaks from alcohol.   Without much success at controlling his drinking on his own, Kevin eventually decided to look into therapy with his wife’s support. He developed a journaling practice and would talk with his therapist while working on quitting and made it 60 days.    Several work and life events found Kevin trying to moderate the drinking again. He made the decision to commit to 61 days and then continued to extend the timeline. Kevin was reading a lot and listening to podcasts. His therapist helped him a lot as well. He started an Instagram page for himself, but after some time decided to go public and share more. He got a lot of positive feedback which fueled him to try and start recovery coaching. He became involved with Reframe app soon after.   Kevin’s best sober moment: his first sober concert with his daughter.   Kevin’s parting piece of guidance: practice. Find a platform that resonates with you and keep practicing.   Instagram  Recovery Elevator YouTube Sobriety Tracker iTunes    Recovery Elevator Go big, because eventually we all go home. I love you guys.
1/15/20241 hour, 3 minutes, 48 seconds
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RE 464: Doing Something Different

Episode 464 – Doing Something Different     Today we have Danielle. She is 34 years old and lives in Northern Ontario. She took her last drink on August 20th, 2023.   On January 27th we start our six-week alcohol-free ukelele course. This course is brought to you by Kala Brand.   Better Help:  www.betterhelp.com/elevator - 10% off your first month. #sponsored   [03:22] Thoughts from Paul:   Paul shares the history of Recovery Elevator, how launching the podcast gave him accountability and how the listeners helped it expand over the last 464 consecutive weeks.   The big message he wants to share here, however, is that if you are going to quit drinking or are seeking an alcohol-free life then you’re going to have to do something different. Probably something very different than what you’re currently trying. And it doesn’t have to suck.   You 100% can ditch the booze, and we are here to help. But do yourself a favor join Café RE, go to an AA meeting, check out Smart Recovery, take a sober ukulele class. There are more recovery pathways today than there ever have been, and we feel there is no right or wrong way to quit drinking.   We have partnered with Sober Link.  You can find some tips and can sign up for a $50 off promo code.   [10:54] Kris introduces Danielle:   Danielle just passed the 100-day mark at the time of recording. She is 34 and is married with two cats and two dogs. She lives in Northern Ontario, and she is self employed as a copywriter and website designer. She enjoys hiking, paddleboarding, reading, yoga and lots of writing.   Danielle says she started experimenting in high school around age 15. She wanted to be part of the crowd but as an introvert found it exhausting and preferred connecting with small groups at the parties. In college, she leaned more onto weed which she feels helped with her sleep and anxiety issues.   She met her now husband when she was 22. They were living in Australia for a time and up until this point Danielle was just smoking and drinking socially. Her husband was a daily drinker and Daneille started drinking wine when they would travel.   After moving back home, they made friends with their neighbors and would spend time after work drinking with them. She was drinking at home, drinking with the neighbors, and drinking at the farm where she had her horse. Her life revolved around when and where she could drink but she typically only felt comfortable drinking at home with close friends.   After a new job and a move to a smaller town, Danielle thought that the change in environment would help her cut back on her bad habits. She found the change isolated, and after her office closed, she was forced to work remotely. She and her husband were drinking earlier in the day. Throughout this time, they had good times but there began to be fights and behavior changes for both of them. Drinking was becoming less and less enjoyable and they found themselves talking more and more about what life would be like without alcohol.   Her journey to recovery found her listening to podcasts and starting to write about what she wanted to get out of quitting drinking. After a while, they both decided to join Café RE. One day Daneille and her accountability partner were talking about journaling and came up with the idea of a writing course to share with the RE community. Danielle says that using that as a form of service really helped her with her own recovery.   Danielle’s unexpected positives of ditching the booze: losing the anxiety she had for many years. The community she has gained in recovery.   Danielle’s favorite resources in recovery: podcasts, quit lit, chats in the community, journaling.   Danielle’s parting piece of guidance: you can’t shame yourself out of the addiction.   Instagram   Recovery Elevator YouTube Sobriety Tracker iTunes    Recovery Elevator You’re the only one that can do this, but you don’t have to do it alone. I love you guys.
1/8/20241 hour, 3 minutes, 32 seconds
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RE 463: Balance

Episode 463 – Addicted to not Being Addicted     Today we have Zach. He is 34 years old and lives in Richmond, VA. He took his last drink on July 18th, 2023.   Our Dry January course RESTORE starts tonight, so get your register on, and join us at 8 PM EST for our first live session later this evening.   On January 27th we start our six-week alcohol-free ukelele course. This course is brought to you by Kala Brand.   Check out our sponsor Go Brewing. Use the code ELEVATOR for 15% off.   [04:14] Thoughts from Paul:   Today we are talking about change. Research suggests that only 9% of people that make New Years resolutions complete them. Many quit well before February even starts. The main reason that these resolutions fail is our energies swing all the way to one side of the spectrum. In other words, we are out of balance.   With drinking, we find ourselves addicted to alcohol. Then the mind comes up with the idea that we need to not be addicted to alcohol, then we become addicted to the idea of not being addicted. This is equally out of balance. So that’s the word I want to plant with you today as we begin the new year is balance. On our sobriety journey, we cannot fight, or go to battle with an alcohol addiction.   So, in terms of quitting drinking and not going overboard in the theatre of war against yourself, let’s keep it simple. All you have to today is one thing, that is not pick up a drink. Are we quitting for a lifetime? God no. That would be out of balance. We are only quitting for today.   Café RE - Use the promo code OPPORTUNITY to waive the set-up fee   [10:36] Paul introduces Zach:   Zach was originally from California but currently lives in Richmond, VA. He has two sons who live nearby with their mother. He is a technical writer for the federal government. He enjoys the gym and spending time outdoors.   Zach grew up in a home where alcohol wasn’t very present. He attended a small college where it wasn’t very prevalent either. He took his first drink after finishing college and was a normal drinker throughout his 20’s. Drinking didn’t become a problem for Zach until he was laid off of a job and his mental health started suffering. He was processing things from childhood and started having panic attacks and his sleep was an issue. He started drinking to help him sleep but over time it progressed to a daily habit.   Zach says he got a wake-up call when he and his wife split up. He was able to get a few months of sobriety, but he ended up back drinking after the divorce was finalized. He had relocated for a new job and didn’t know anyone. He had too much free time to drink heavily when he wasn’t spending time with his kids.   Zach was drinking at work and ended up having a meeting with HR where he finally told someone he had a problem. While he felt relieved to share this, he still struggled to quit and eventually lost the job. After his lease was up, he moved out of state to stay with some friends that were going to help him get back on his feet.   When he relapsed while the friends were out of town, Zach ended up trying Antabuse to help him quit drinking once and for all. He attended rehab and then went to sober living. After a while he decided he needed to move back closer to his kids and was able to find a place in Richmond with the help of a friend in recovery.   Zach tried a few different recovery modalities, but AA ended up working best for him. He got a sponsor who he has spoken to every day since they met. His sponsor has helped him realize that he cannot return to drinking. Zach is starting to see the benefits of not drinking, both physically and mentally. Community has been vital to Zach and his recovery.   Zach’s favorite resources: an app called The Big Book, and the RE podcast while at the gym.   Zach’s strategy to beat a craving:  a walk and a phone call.     Instagram   Recovery Elevator YouTube Sobriety Tracker iTunes    Recovery Elevator It all starts from the inside out. I love you guys.
1/1/202452 minutes, 15 seconds
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RE 462: To Have is to Give

Episode 462 – To Have is to Give     Today we have Tana. She is 44 years old and lives in Washington State. She took her last drink on July 30th, 2020.   Registration for our DRY January course RESTORE is now open! It’s time to get your alcohol-free connect on and say adios to the booze. Our first session is Monday, January 1st at 5 pm PST or 8 pm EST.  The most common issue I hear is that people don’t have a network of others who don’t drink. Well, Our Restore is going to solve that and you’re going to learn all about alcohol, alcohol addiction, and how to beat it.   Paul shares an article where scientists say the mystery of how red wine headaches occur may be solved. Paul’s opinion is that it’s a waste of time, but here’s the link for curiosity’s sake.   Exact Nature: https://exactnature.com/RE20   [03:40] Thoughts from Paul:   In 1935, A.A. Founder Bill W, found that when he shared his experience, strength and hope to another individual who was struggling with alcohol, then Bill magically had the strength to remain sober. It shows the universal law of “to give is to have”.   Today I give you the message of Merry Christmas. To plant the seed, that to give is to have. To have is to give. Most of us have learned a way, or path that didn’t work. Or maybe it kind of worked but was or is incredibly painful. For me, this path required numbing agents, alcohol being the most potent one. Now I know there are a couple thousand of you who listen to this podcast first thing on Monday morning when the episodes are released. Fantastic. How blessed I am to get you ear first thing in the morning. Ask not what Santa, or your family can give to you, but ask what you can give to them.   Better Help:  www.betterhelp.com/elevator - 10% off your first month. #sponsored   [00:00] Kris introduces Tana:   Tana is from Washington state, and she works in healthcare and recently has found a new passion for teaching yoga. She has three children, two who have recently graduated college and a 10-year-old daughter. She recently separated from her husband. She enjoys backpacking, hiking, running and dance.   Tana and her siblings were raised by her father who recently passed away. Their mother was an alcoholic, and Tana knew from an early age that she was suffering. Her exposure to alcohol was limited to family members drinking socially.   When Tana was a teenager some home changes found her moving in with her mother. At this point she was exposed to her mother’s addictions firsthand and over time it made her depressed and wanting to rebel, so she began smoking cigarettes, but not really drinking. She moved out at 17 to start her own life.   After starting her own life, Tana had two children and got married. Over time she realized the relationship wasn’t good, so she left and just focused on her kids. Her only addiction issues were the cigarettes which she went to great lengths to hide out of shame.   A few years later, Tana remarried and when she was pregnant with her third child, she quit smoking, and her husband encouraged her to quit for good. Tana found running to be a good replacement for smoking, but after her daughter got older, she would no longer have time to run. Her drinking became her tool to cope.   Tana started to feel shame about her drinking and questioning it. She started listening to podcasts and discovering books that she thought may help her break the cycle and become the best mom she could be. When AA didn’t feel like a good fit, Tana found community in Café RE. She finally felt safe to be herself, make friends, attend meetups, and enjoys giving back to others.   Tana’s plan in recovery moving forward: keep learning and growing.   Tana’s parting piece of guidance: it’s different for all of us. It takes what it takes and for each of us that looks a little different. Just don’t give up – never quit quitting.   Instagram   Recovery Elevator YouTube Sobriety Tracker iTunes    Recovery Elevator You’re the only one that can do this RE, but you don’t have to do it alone. I love you guys.
12/25/202359 minutes, 59 seconds
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RE 461: Wait, You Drink Poison?

Episode 461 - Wait, You Drink Poison?     Today we have Gill. She’s 33 years old from Lexington, MA and took her last drink on November 9th, 2019.   Update from Ryan H on episode 457 – “I’m going on two weeks now and I’m definitely starting to notice a difference in my mood, digestive issues and weight.”   Registration for our intensive DRY January course RESTORE is now open! It’s time to get your alcohol-free connect on and say adios to the booze. The most common issue I hear is that people don’t have a network of others who don’t drink. Well, Our Restore is going to solve that and you’re going to learn a ton about alcohol, alcohol addiction, and how to beat it.   Better Help:  www.betterhelp.com/elevator - 10% off your first month. #sponsored   [03:02] Intro:   Paul shares two Instagram accounts that will help you on your sobriety journey:   Drop the Bottle  - all about sobriety and ditching the booze.   A.L.A.D.D.I.N – not about sobriety, but it is entertaining and when it’s creator shares his art with the world, it gives others permission to do the same.   Athletic Greens: https://www.athleticgreens.com/recovery   [08:22] Paul introduces Gill:   Gill is 33 and lives right outside of Boston, MA. She has a husband and a cat. She loves playing video games, going to concerts and travelling. She teaches chemistry courses and labs at a college in Boston. She is also the host of the Sober Powered podcast.   Gill says she didn’t start drinking until grad school. She didn’t have opportunities in high school because she was bullied and didn’t hang out with people that drank. She started because she feared that if she didn’t then no one would like her. Once she tried it a few times and got her first buzz, she enjoyed it so much it became a regular thing for her.   Gill started having repercussions from drinking early on. She didn’t know her limits, had frequent opportunities to drink and would end up getting sick and having blackouts. Gill thought all of this was normal and that everyone drank like her. Gill says that her performance in school started suffering and there was multiple drink fueled fights with her boyfriend (who is now her husband).   Gill ended up leaving program and decided to start teaching instead. She learned that drinking helped with the stress she experienced while teaching. Over time she switched from wine to vodka to save money. Her tolerance increased, and she started struggling with hangovers at work.   Trying to moderate and make rules around her drinking was frustrating for Gill. People didn’t want her to quit and when she would bring it up others would downplay it and tell her she was fine.   Gill’s depression was getting worse, and she started waking up with uncontrollable anxiety often. Once she began having suicidal thoughts, she got scared. Gill decided to take a break for 90 days to lower her tolerance and thought she would be cured. During that time her suicidal thoughts and anxiety lessened. She completed the 90 days and started drinking again and the consequences quickly followed.   After her last rule was compromised, she realized she had to accept that she had to let alcohol go indefinitely. While it was scary at first, Gill says she also felt a sense of peace.   Gill didn’t think she needed meetings when she first quit but doesn’t recommend people try to do it alone.  After the pandemic started, Gill found she had the time to go to therapy, she started listening to podcasts, and doing a lot of research on the science around alcohol addictions. She wanted to share what she had learned with others, so she started her own podcast: Sober Powered.   Gill’s advice for the holidays: you don’t have to go to everything if you are worried that you’re going to drink or that you can’t stay sober, don’t go.   Gill’s go-to tool to get past a craving: walking, rage walking.   Instagram   Recovery Elevator YouTube Sobriety Tracker iTunes    Recovery Elevator I love you guys. Go big because eventually we’ll all go home.      
12/18/202358 minutes, 41 seconds
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RE 460: Text If You Need TP

Episode 460 – The Friends We Keep     Today we have Kerry. She’s 40 years old from Williston, ND and took her last drink on January 7th, 2016.   Shoutout to our Café RE chat hosts!  Thank you for your dedication to the community, and for providing a space for us to share our experiences. You’re the best!   Exact Nature: https://exactnature.com/RE20   [01:29] Highlights from Kris:   It’s important that we surround ourselves with people who are going to enrich our lives. People who will meet us where we are, but also challenge us and encourage us to grow.   Kris shares some examples of great friends he has in his life and shares an article that outlines Five Types of Friends – friends we need and need to be.   Take a look at the people you have in your life. Do you think you have someone that fits in each of these categories? When was the last time you let them know what they mean to you? Use this as a reminder to tell someone you love them, and that you’re grateful for them.   If you find yourself today, feeling like YOU’RE alone, I promise you that you’re not. You’re people are out there.   Better Help:  www.betterhelp.com/elevator - 10% off your first month. #sponsored   [10:15] Kris introduces Kerry:   Kerry and her partner live in Williston, ND and are raising four kids. She recently decided she was going to become a firefighter which stemmed from being an EMT and a nurse. She enjoys spending time with the kids and they are currently rebuilding a boat.   Kerry was exposed to alcohol throughout her childhood but didn’t really have any great interest in it. She feels that she was a people pleaser and didn’t want to get in trouble until senior year when she decided she could let loose and have some fun before going to college. She found alcohol gave her relief from the stressors in her life.   Going into college she and her friends were party seekers. She had excelled so much academically that she felt she could relax and have fun and not worry about responsibilities. Her idea of an addict was her dad who wasn’t obvious about it. She didn’t have the consequences he did so she didn’t feel she had any problems.  When she was 19 her parents put her into rehab because of drug use. While she was there the counselors recognized that her bigger issue was drinking. Kerry didn’t listen and continued to drink after leaving treatment.   Kerry’s parents got a divorce and she had moved back home. She used any excuse to drink to not deal with things. She was having consequences like DUIs and broken relationships. At the time Kerry was working with her mom at a family business where happy hours and daily drinking after work were part of the daily landscape.   Looking for a change, Kerry a boyfriend moved to Alaska and started a family. The drinking slowed down, but after that relationship ended and they shared custody of the kids, Kerry found herself going back to drinking.   After moving back to North Dakota, she continued to use drinking to self-medicate. People didn’t realize it because she was so good at taking care of other people and being a problem solver. Over time the drinking was getting heavier and heavier, and Kerry tried to create parameters to control it.   She tried quitting for a while but when she tested the waters again, she had consequences including another DUI where she realized she needed to get help to quit completely. She joined Lion Rock Recovery, which was all online, so she didn’t need to leave her family for treatment. It helped her focus on the reason she drank and deal with her mental health and gave her tools to use after the program ended.   Kerry’s plan in recovery moving forward: keep learning, keep doing crazy things like firefighting and getting more involved with recovery service.   Kerry’s parting piece of guidance: there isn’t a roadmap, and if one thing doesn’t work, you can try another.   Instagram   Recovery Elevator YouTube Sobriety Tracker iTunes    Recovery Elevator We are the only ones that can do this RE, but we don’t have to do it alone. I love you guys.    
12/11/20231 hour, 3 minutes, 33 seconds
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RE: Holiday Bonus Episode

Now the Holidays have been coupled with alcohol for as long as the Earth has been orbiting the Sun. I’m kidding, that isn’t correct, but you get the point. And if you’re struggling with alcohol or trying to get sober, the holidays can be the ultimate challenge. This episode should help.    In this Holiday Collab Episode, we’ve got Gill from the Sober Powered Podcast. Casey from the Hello Someday Podcast, and Veronica from the Soberful Podcast. 
12/7/20231 hour, 4 minutes, 4 seconds
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RE 459: Let’s Smile

Episode 459 – Let’s Smile     Today we have Spencer. He’s 44 years old from Minneapolis, MN and took his last drink on September 23rd, 2023.   Registration for RESTORE is no open!  If you want to take a break for a month, or say adios for good, this course is for you. You’re going to learn all about alcohol addiction, what it is, what it isn’t, how to beat cravings, you’ll learn about many different recovery pathways, and the best part is you won’t be doing this alone.   Exact Nature: https://exactnature.com/RE20   [02:04] Highlights from Paul:   Start your day with a smile. It doesn’t matter if the smile is fake or real. The body doesn’t know the difference and the nervous system always responds positively with a smile.   Smiling increases mood-enhancing hormones. Smiling releases endorphins, natural painkillers, and serotonin, while decreasing stress-enhancing hormones, including cortisol, and adrenaline. It also reduces overall blood pressure.   Another reason to smile is that research shows that smiles are contagious. Most people will find a way to reciprocate in a friendly manner. Smiling is a way to be of service because it makes other people’s days better.   Spiritual teacher Thich Nhat Hanh has said “Sometimes your joy is the source of your smile, but sometimes your smile can be the source of your joy."    Start your day with a 30 -second smile. And not for just one day or two, but rock that smile every morning for the rest of this year and hopefully beyond. And don't forget to keep that smile going throughout the day.   Paul shares some dad jokes to help get us started.   Better Help:  www.betterhelp.com/elevator - 10% off your first month. #sponsored   [08:04] Paul introduces Spencer:   Spencer grew up in Minneapolis area. He is married with two kids. He enjoys playing blues and rock on his guitar and spending time on the river with his family. Spencer has been an electrician for 23 years.   Spencer says that alcohol was a big part of his family’s life while he was growing up. Both of his parents drank, and every event was centered around alcohol. Spencer didn’t try alcohol until he was around 15. He had a friend who’s parent worked nights, so their house became a party house and drinking happened frequently.   Spencer got married young and they both drank heavily. They had a daughter together and eventually they ended up getting a divorce. At the time Spencer blamed a lot of the issues on his ex. Once she moved out Spencer had some friends move in and says the drinking became daily and he was losing jobs. He eventually started having financial issues and lost his house.   It was shortly after he started dating a woman that didn’t drink like him that he realized that drinking might be a problem for him. He didn’t really make any changes until the birth of his son when he began to try moderating and added rules around his drinking.   Things were going well for Spencer and then he got a call from his son’s mother that she was a heroin addict. He ended up having to get custody of him and knew he had to stop drinking for his son. He was able to quit for a while but gradually let drinking slip back in.   Spencer was able to quit for a few years and started recognizing how big of an issue alcohol had been for him. He knew he wanted to quit but wasn’t sure how he was going to be able to do it.   New activities have replaced drinking for Spencer. He is working on his relationships with his kids and has been talking to them about alcohol and the issues within the family. Spencer is open about his sobriety with others. He listens to a lot of podcasts about addiction and enjoys online AA meetings and has plans to do the steps. Spencer knows how important connection will be going forward.   Spencer’s parting piece of guidance: If you think you have a problem, find someone that’s sober to talk about it, listen to podcasts, get connected.   Instagram   Recovery Elevator YouTube Sobriety Tracker iTunes    Recovery Elevator Remember Rule 22, keep those smiles going. Lighten up. I love you guys.    
12/4/202345 minutes, 17 seconds
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RE 458: Passion Will Return

Episode 458 – A Big Win     Today we have Mike. He is 44 from Huntsville, AL and took his last drink on April 10th, 2023.   Registration for RESTORE opens this Friday!  If you want to take a break for a month, or say adios for good, this course is for you. You’re going to learn all about alcohol addiction, what it is, what it isn’t, how to beat cravings, you’ll learn about many different recovery pathways, and the best part is you won’t be doing this alone.   Exact Nature: https://exactnature.com/RE20   [02:42] Highlights from Paul:   Paul shares how releasing his first album is a huge win for him and that the listeners are a big part of making it happen.   Something commonly heard when people quit drinking is “what is going to fill the void?”. We have to rediscover likes and interests. Part of the journey is trying out new hobbies. Sometimes it takes a while to find out what we like to do though, so be patient with  your healing.   If you want to hear the outro song and the full album under the name of Pablo Church, you can check it out on Spotify, or search your preferred music streaming service. What dreams, goals, aspirations, did you have that alcohol stifled like a wet soggy blanket. What did alcohol bump down on your list of personal goals? What do you want in life now that alcohol is no longer in the front seat? Take a moment to ponder these questions, maybe hit pause in this episode, put pen to paper and get clear on what you want. Paul and the RE community are here to help you make it happen.   Better Help:  www.betterhelp.com/elevator - 10% off your first month. #sponsored   [07:18] Kris introduces Mike:   Mike lives in Huntsville, AL and works in construction. He is married and they have five kids. He enjoys attending his kids’ sporting events and being outside and active.   Mike grew up in a conservative home. His father had a history of rebellion and his mother lost both parents to alcoholism when she was young, so they chose to keep alcohol out of the home.   Mike first tried alcohol on New Year’s Eve when he was in 8th grade while at a friend’s house. He started to associate alcohol with having a good time but didn’t drink much during high school even though his friends did. Mike was a people pleaser both at home and with his friends. He feels this tendency drove him to start drinking and smoking pot to fit in with everyone.   Mike went to one semester of college and decided it wasn’t for him. After some consequences from his drinking, he ended up moving back home and working construction. He was still drinking and smoking but trying to make better choices.   When Mike met his wife, they decided to make some changes. They quit drinking and smoking and started becoming more active in the church community. When the job market started changing in Michigan, they moved to Alabama where Mike was offered a new job.   After a while, Mike decided to quit his job and start his own construction business. That was going well but Mike found that managing the business instead of doing the labor was very different and more stressful. As time when on his drinking gradually increased and since everyone else was drinking, he could justify it. Over time he was drinking before, during and after work. His wife discovered the stash in his office and that’s when Mike said he would quit. For a few months, he found himself hiding his drinking and trying to drink less, which didn’t work.   Mike eventually sought outpatient treatment and tried that for a while before his counselor told him he had to do more. Mike was resistant to trying AA but once he did he was able to start making some changes and getting help to stay sober.   Mike’s plan in sobriety moving forward: to make the most of the time he has left.   Mike’s parting piece of guidance: today is just a day and time takes time.   Instagram - We regularly feature content here. Recovery Elevator YouTube Sobriety Tracker iTunes    Recovery Elevator You’re the only one that can do this, but you don’t have to do it alone. I love you guys.    
11/27/20231 hour, 4 minutes, 50 seconds
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RE 457: What if I Can’t Quit Drinking?

Episode 457 – What if I Can’t Quit Drinking?   Today we have Ryan. He’s 33 years old from Orange County, NY and took his last drink on September 24th, 2023.   Happy Thanksgiving to all the listeners in the USA! Be sure to take some time this week and let the universe know what you are thankful for and remember a drink won’t make your holiday any better.   Athletic Greens   [02:42] Highlights from Paul:   It’s the last Q&A episode and today’s question is from Darren in Tampa Bay who asks, “What if I can’t quit drinking?”   Paul shares that he could have asked this same question not that long ago and his message to Darren and others that maybe feeling this way is to keep moving forward, don’t quit quitting, keep using the mind to build, to visualize your alcohol-free life. Accept it all, embrace the journey, and you will come out the other side.   Paul rephrases the question to ask, “what if I can’t quit drinking today?” and shares some thoughts and strategies to implement which include:   -       It isn’t quitting for a lifetime, it’s only for today and it gets easier. -       Don’t beat yourself up. People with drinking problems drink but on the flip side people with drinking problems quit every day. -       Stick to the plan of seeking sobriety. “What you seek is seeking you”. -       For many, it is a journey, and it takes time for things to get into sync. You don’t need to rush the process.     Thank you, listeners, for all the questions!   Better Help:  www.betterhelp.com/elevator - 10% off your first month. #sponsored   [10:44] Paul introduces Ryan:   Ryan is on day 5 at the time of this recording. He is 33 years old and is engaged and has two stepchildren. He is a drummer and loves playing metal music and enjoys watching horror movies.   Ryan’s relationship with alcohol didn’t begin until he was in his 20’s. His drinking was mostly a few beers sporadically, but he quickly graduated to straight liquor. He started drinking regularly when he was about 23 to cope with stress and depression using alcohol as an escape. It was putting a strain on his relationship at the time, and she   Ryan feels he was functional and kept his problem hidden well. There were no rock bottoms for him yet, he was just drowning his feelings and didn’t feel a reason to stop. The industry he worked in found he and his coworkers drinking together after work frequently.   Some severe pain in Ryan’s hips and legs found him seeking medical attention. He went to a doctor who he has known for years, and they discovered that Ryan had AVN. This is a condition that doesn’t happen to people in their 20’s so Ryan shared his drinking habits with the doctor who connected the dots quickly.   Ryan was able to quit drinking for two years with the help of Campral while he was in recovery from hip replacement surgery. He reflects this was a very positive time in his life. Even after he relapsed, there have been times of abstinence with the assistance of naltrexone but feels he wasn’t working on the underlying issues that caused him to want to drink.   Ryan has been trying to figure out his “why”. His depression plays a role in it, he says, but it feels complex. He knows that all alcohol is causing several health issues, but he is working on harm reduction and learning more about what alcohol does to us.  Ryan has the support of his fiancé, his friends and family and utilizes his music to help him cope now.   Ryan’s parting piece of guidance: if you think drinking is a problem for you, quitting can be done, it’s not easy but it is simple. Incorporate medications, therapy and a support network.     Instagram Recovery Elevator YouTube Sobriety Tracker iTunes    Recovery Elevator Go big, because eventually we all go home. I love you guys.    
11/20/202355 minutes, 49 seconds
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RE 456: How Do You Let Go of Resentments?

Episode 456 – How Do You Overcome Resentments?     Today we have Nathan. He’s 42 years old and from Andover, MN and took his last drink on April 19th, 2023.   On January 1st, 2024, we are starting our intensive sobriety course geared towards the newcomer.  Check out the link to learn more about RESTORE.   Exact Nature: https://exactnature.com/RE20   [02:01] Highlights from Paul:   Today’s question is from Darren A. who asks, “Can you discuss resentment and letting go of resentment?"   Life is a school where the people, places, and things are there to help us grow and become deeper human beings. The people we encounter in life are there to help us grow.    The theory is that none of this is happening to you. Remember, that is how a victim speaks. Flip that to believe that everything that has ever happened to you in your life is happening for you, for your own personal growth and development, to make you a more resilient human being.   Resentments are the teachers. Yes, they suck, they emotionally and physically hurt, but they are the opportunities for healthy and normal growth.   Another strategy is to stop labeling things as good or bad. When a person, place or thing pisses you off, try to recognize the mind immediately slapping a label on it, try to remain open.  We don’t know what’s going on behind the scenes. That person who may have recently dogged you may have actually shielded you from a tragedy down the road.    “You can be right, or you can have peace." Paul shares this mantra with us frequently on the podcast. He tries to repeat this mantra when he encounters a difficult life challenge.   We want to hear from the listener. How do you overcome resentments? Let us know in our Monday Instagram post on the Recovery Elevator Instagram page.   Better Help:  www.betterhelp.com/elevator - 10% off your first month. #sponsored   [08:56] Kris introduces Nathan:   Nathan is 42 and lives in Andover, MN. He works in financial operations but was recently laid off.  He is in the process of going through a divorce and has two cats. He enjoys woodworking and building things with hand tools, he also enjoys golf, reading and occasionally writing.   Nathan calls himself a late bloomer and hated beer. It was normal to have it around when he was growing up, but his dad drank NA beer. He was a casual drinker through his twenties and thirties.   In late 2019 Nathan’s wife was in a car accident related to some health issues. It was a very stressful time for them as his wife was unable to drive and undergoing a lot of testing and Nathan was dealing with a very stressful work project as well.   Some health issues drove Nathan to use alcohol to ease his symptoms. His career was stressful, and he and his wife were having communication issues. Nathan didn’t drink every day, but some days were binge sessions. He discovered the amount he could have without too many consequences the next day.   After a weekend of binge drinking, Nathan had an experience that felt like he was having a heart attack, and he went to the ER where he realized alcohol was causing the problems. Soon after he was able to admit to his wife that he needed to stop. He went back to the ER and told them that he needed help. After detox, Nathan enrolled in an IOP and connected with a great counselor.   It took a few months for Nathan to start feeling physically better and is currently confronting some difficult life situations. He plays the tape forward and continues to work on his recovery despite the strong emotions he is dealing with.   Nathan’s favorite resources in recovery: his IOP counselor, the RE podcast and Café RE.   Nathan’s parting piece of guidance: make a plan (to avoid relapse), make it really detailed and change it as you need to.   Instagram Recovery Elevator YouTube Sobriety Tracker iTunes    Recovery Elevator You’re the only one that can do this, but you don’t have to do it alone. I love you guys.    
11/13/202359 minutes, 22 seconds
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RE 455: How Do You Feel About Ayahuasca and Other Plant Medicines?

Episode 455 – How Do You Feel About Ayahuasca and Other Plant Medicines?     Today we have Chris. He is 40 years old and lives in Austin, TX. He took his last drink on February 16th, 2007.   Check out our events page for our lineup of upcoming retreats and courses. Beginning January 1st, RESTORE, our intense Dry January course is back! In February we have another 5-week Ukelele Course. Then in March, we have two events in Costa Rica, and  we’ll see you in Bozeman, Montana in August for our 6th annual retreat in Big Sky Country.   Exact Nature: https://exactnature.com/RE20   [02:16] Highlights from Paul:   Today is episode 9 out of 10 in the Q&A series.   Today’s question comes from Krista B, in our Café RE group. She says:   “How Paul is feeling about ayahuasca and other plant medicines. Are you still as passionate about its benefits today as a few years ago? Has the treatment worked in a sustained way, in your opinion?”   Paul shared his initial experience with ayahuasca in episode 170. He believes that plant medicines have a place in the world of addiction and mental health. Do not buy it on the internet and try it solo; set and setting is everything. There is so much preparation that needs to go into an ayahuasca ceremony and under the right circumstances, it will answer many questions. A big one being why you drink. Paul shares how ayahuasca still impacts his everyday life.   While Paul found plant medicine helpful on his journey, he recognizes it’s not for everyone, nor does he think everyone should try plant medicine. If you are interested, please do your own research before trying it.   Better Help:  www.betterhelp.com/elevator - 10% off your first month. #sponsored   [11:59] Paul introduces Chris:   Chris lives in Austin Texas; he is married with two children aged 8 and 9. He is an entrepreneur and enjoys being creative through many avenues.   Chris always felt like an outsider that didn’t belong while he was growing up. His parents divorced when he was young, and he blamed himself and ended up distancing himself from people.  He craved connections and ended up starting drinking with a group of friends. Chris felt like alcohol was the solution to his feelings of not belonging. His drinking increased and over time he lost all those connections that he used alcohol to find and was drinking alone. At age 23 he went to treatment where they helped him recognize that he had some mental health issues, the main ones being social anxiety and depression.   Some alumni from the group accepted Chris, helped him go to meetings and then they would all socialize afterwards. He finally felt he was making connections that he had craved all his life.   Seeing people that were staying sober and succeeding was a big boost to Chris’ confidence, and he felt like it was possible for him to do the same. His life in sobriety was becoming so great that he never had a desire to go back to drinking.   Chris started going to school to become a counselor and immediately started working in the recovery field. He knew it was important to maintain and strengthen his recovery to do the job successfully.   Chris started Sans Bar in 2018 as a pop-up bar when there were very few options in the alcohol-free arena. The pop-ups grew, and more and more people were interested in what Chris was doing, mostly through word of mouth. He feels it came along at the right time as the sober curious movement was beginning. Chris says doing this gave him the same feelings that his first sip of booze did – he was forming connections. He feels Sans Bar is for everyone, not just people in recovery.   Chris’s favorite resources in recovery: The Luckiest Club, 12 step programs, podcasts.   Chris’s parting piece of guidance: you can’t fail. The point of sobriety is not abstinence, it’s growth.   Instagram Recovery Elevator YouTube Sobriety Tracker iTunes    Recovery Elevator Go big, because eventually we all go home. I love you guys.    
11/6/202357 minutes, 19 seconds
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RE 454: How Do I Do More In My Recovery Community?

Episode 454 – How Can I Do More In My Recovery Community?   Today we have Kristan. She is 60 years old and lives in Delaware. She took her last drink on June 3rd, 2019.   Exact Nature: https://exactnature.com/RE20   [01:34] Highlights from Kris:   Today we are continuing the Q & A series and it’s a two for one. First question, Dale wants to know “How can I do more in my recovery community?”   Some traditional responses to this question might AA, or any other group with the word recovery in it. These are great, but Kris shares that we can expand our view to other groups. Church groups, book club, a running club, or a workout group.   Sharing can be a great way to get involved within a recovery community. Hearing others share and be vulnerable encourages us to share and be vulnerable too. By being open, you are being of service in your recovery. You never know who you may be helping with your share.   Think of the things that you bring to the table, and what you’d like to see your community offer. It could be as simple as organizing an outing to have a meal with other local members or hosting a chat in your online community.   Listen to your heart. If you feel that tug to do something, be obedient to that. We have no idea how it could impact our lives, or the lives of other people.   Athletic Greens: https://www.athleticgreens.com/recovery   [09:25]: Kris introduces Kristan:   Kristan is married and has adult kids, she enjoys traveling, participating in triathlons, and hanging out with her sober friends doing fun activities.   Kristan grew up in Louisiana and started drinking when she was 12 and partied throughout high school. She graduated from college and moved to Australia for a few years. She moved to DC when she came back and worked as a reporter while enjoying the nightlife. Kristan says that in her profession, drinking was very common, and she surrounded herself with people that drank a lot.   Later when she bought a house in Delaware, her and her husband split time between home and DC which left Kristan with a lot of time alone. She started putting rules around her drinking early on which found her frustrated. Her husband doesn’t drink which made her feel like she was being monitored. Kristan never drank during the day but found herself drinking daily at 5pm. Her problem wasn’t obvious to her because she was successful and hadn’t lost anything (yet).   Kristan’s drinking came to a head after a long night of drinking with friends where she doesn’t remember the last few hours. She woke up to a text from her daughter stating that she was concerned about her drinking. Kristan decided it was time to quit. A phone call to family member in recovery helped her take the first steps. A few days later she told husband she quit drinking. She started regularly attending AA and got a sponsor, began reading books about recovery and enjoyed listening to podcasts.   Kristan was eager to celebrate all of life’s events sober. She says she has a great group of friends that are still fun in sobriety. After quitting, Kristan realizes how much mind space drinking took up. She says the first year was difficult, but she got stronger as she went. Kristan loves being sober. Her relationships with her daughter and husband are the best they have ever been.   Kristan’s future plan in sobriety: working on her emotional sobriety.   Kristan’s parting piece of guidance: give it a year, surround yourself with sober people.   [54:15] Kris answers Bobbie the Awesome’s question regarding NA beverages and shares some personal experiences.   Choosing whether to drink them or not is a very personal decision. It's up to you to decide what’s right for you, and it’s a good idea to err on the side of caution if you are nervous about it.   Instagram - We regularly feature content here. Recovery Elevator YouTube Sobriety Tracker iTunes    Recovery Elevator We’re the only ones that can do this, but we don’t have to do it alone. I love you guys.  
10/30/20231 hour, 1 minute, 9 seconds
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RE 453: How Would You Describe a “Spiritual Experience” in Recovery?

Episode 453 - How Would You Describe a “Spiritual Experience” in Recovery?     Today we have Andy. He is 46 from Washington, DC and took his last drink on August 12th, 2023.   If you are struggling to quit drinking alone, check out the private community Café RE. Use the promo code OPPORTUNITY to waive the setup fee!   Exact Nature: https://exactnature.com/RE20   [02:17] Highlights from Paul:   Today’s question is from Liz in the Café RE OG group: “How Would You Describe a “Spiritual Experience” in Recovery? Was it a Bill W. “White Light” or a long series of little twinkles? Somewhere in between? Something else altogether?”   We all know there is no right or wrong way to quit drinking, but Paul believes the spirituality component is important, because it connects or reconnects you to the universe or a god of your understanding.   For many, a large twinkle of spirituality took place took place near the date of their last drink. Some call this a window of clarity. I’ve heard it been described as “I just knew it was going to be different this time.” Swiss psychiatrist Carl Jung called them synchronicities or the breadcrumbs of life.   Everyone’s version of spiritual awakening will be different. We just need to be open to the twinkles that can happen all around us.   Better Help:  www.betterhelp.com/elevator - 10% off your first month. #sponsored   [11:53]: Paul introduces Andy:   Andy took his last drink less than a week before the time of this recording. Andy has moved around a bit while being in the military but currently lives in DC. He is an officer in the Air Force and has been serving for 26 years. He is married and has four kids. He enjoys ultra marathons, gardening, and traveling with his family.   Andy grew up around a lot of drinking in the small town he lived in. There was always beer in the house, and he feels it was ingrained in his life. He had his first drink in 8th grade. It was on a grueling camping trip when one of the adults handed him a bottle of booze and told him it would take the edge off. He really enjoyed the feelings he got from it.   Andy did well in school both academically and athletically, but the drinking continued. After graduating college, he enlisted in the military. He would stay sober during brief deployments but would start drinking again as soon as he came home. He struggled with missing his military family more than his wife and kids at home.   Andy had an opportunity to work at the Embassy in Croatia, so they moved. After a few years Andy and his wife split up and his drinking was out of control. He ended up moving back to the US as a single dad. He was not being as productive at work due to his drinking and often used his being a single dad as an excuse.   Andy was able to get sober few times after asking for help. First from a very close friend after a major bout of anxiety and then at another time post relapse from a doctor when he originally went to see them for a sore throat. He says that during these experiences, he felt relief. He started going to AA and stopped fighting that he was unable to casually drink. His wife would attend meetings with him for support. Andy got a very patient sponsor who helped him through the steps. Life started improving a lot for him over this time.   After a relapse last Christmas, Andy fell right back into the cycle and was even hiding alcohol again. He considers the five years he had as part of his recovery and plans to get back into AA when he feels ready. He misses how he felt and wants it back.  Andy plans to get back to good habits to help him stay sober, reading books, listening to podcasts, and sharing with his wife.   Andy’s favorite resources in recovery: RE podcast, reading, finding someone you can trust to talk to daily.   Andy’s parting piece of guidance: hold onto this moment and don’t look too far ahead or too far in the past.   Instagram Recovery Elevator YouTube Sobriety Tracker iTunes    Recovery Elevator We’re the only ones that can do this, but we don’t have to do it alone. I love you guys.      
10/23/20231 hour, 2 minutes, 27 seconds
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RE 452: How Do You Stop Comparing Yourself to Others in Recovery?

Episode 452 - How Do You Stop Comparing Yourself to Others in Recovery?   Today we have Emilee. She is 33 from Double Springs, AL and has been alcohol free since February 26th, 2023.   We are in the process of building some incredible events for the upcoming year, to new locations, and types of retreats we have never done before.   Our flagship annual retreat in Bozeman, Montana in August, then we are working on an AF travel trip in October 2024 with possible destinations being India, Vietnam, or the Camino de Santiago in Spain. But even before those events, we are working on Two retreats in Guanacaste, Costa Rica. Keep an eye out for more info: Recovery Elevator events.   Exact Nature: https://exactnature.com/RE20   [02:55] Highlights from Paul:   Today’s question is from Dale: How do I stop comparing myself to others in Recovery?   This is a BIG PICTURE question. An issue that probably didn’t arise when you quit drinking. I’m guessing this is something you have been doing for quite some time.   Part of this is healthy. You’ll want to model your sobriety after someone who seems to have done the work, or who has what you want. You’ll want to compare parts of your journey with theirs… But the key is not to have it consume you.   Paul shares his thoughts on this topic and reminds us that comparison is all part of the human condition and to know that when one person blooms, we all receive the benefit.   Better Help:  www.betterhelp.com/elevator - 10% off your first month. #sponsored   [10:30]: Kris introduces Emilee:   Emilee is 33 from Double Springs, AL. She is married and they have one daughter together. For work, she is a high school algebra teacher and for fun she enjoys doing outdoor activities including hunting and fishing and she also enjoys playing the piano, working out and cooking.   While growing up, Emilee didn’t have much exposure to alcohol. She says she was always shy growing up and it wasn’t until she was 19 that a boyfriend introduced her to  a group of friends that drank a lot. In that environment, she discovered a different version of herself that was much more outgoing. This went on for a few months, but her drinking decreased for about a year before she went to college.   Emilee managed to keep with her studies but when she drank it was always to excess. She was home for the summer when her father suddenly passed away. She had to go back to school very soon after it happened and while she didn’t drink to cope with it, she had a lot of anxiety and was just going through the motions.     After graduating from college, Emilee got married and then got her first teaching job all in a short period of time. While the first year of her new career was very stressful, Emilee started a routine of getting alcohol on the way home from work and drinking throughout the evening. Her husband was also drinking and after a while they both started putting parameters on it. They eventually tried to quit, but that didn’t last, and Emilee started finding herself hiding her drinking and preferring drinking alone.   While pregnant, Emilee was able to stop drinking. She remained sober for a few months after having her daughter, but gradually started going back to her old habits. Emilee says she never really dealt with her father’s death so her emotions would come up a lot when she would get drunk.   Emilee started feeling the pull to quit drinking. She got a bunch of books and was able to stop for a few days at a time. Listening to the RE podcast would often keep her from stopping at the store for alcohol. Learning the science of what alcohol does to our bodies also helped her quit. Since quitting drinking Emilee feels that her relationships have improved.   Emilee’s favorite resources in recovery: RE podcast and Café RE.   Emilee’s parting piece of guidance: don’t quit quitting.   Instagram - We regularly feature content here – often with goats! Recovery Elevator YouTube Sobriety Tracker iTunes    Recovery Elevator We’re the only ones that can do this, but we don’t have to do it alone. I love you guys.      
10/16/202359 minutes, 21 seconds
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RE 451: What to Say to Someone Who is About to Drink

Episode 451 – What to Say to Someone Who is About to Drink   Today we have Grant. He is 54 from Sacramento, CA and took his last drink on August 10th, 2020.   Exact Nature: https://exactnature.com/RE20   [02:16] Highlights from Paul:   We are five weeks into our Q & A series. This week’s question comes from Sarah C. “What can you say to someone, so they don’t drink?” Or how to help someone not drink.   Paul gives us some tried and true methods that work and strategies that the Recovery Elevator team believe in. Here are a few suggestions that Paul shares with us:   Tough love does not work, so a tone or stance of unconditional love needs to be present when confronting a friend who is about to drink.   Quick note about boundaries. Talking with people that are drunk can be triggering, and little can be done. Ask them to call you in the morning or when they are sober.   Being there with your presence, whether it is in person, via the phone or FaceTime, or Zoom, is the best thing you can do to help them. Holding space provides a safe container for the person to feel the feels, sit front and center with a craving and not feel judged or criticized.   You can also ask them about their “why”. Having them be clear on their “why” again is never a bad idea. You can also remind them that alcohol has been ruined. Drinking while knowing that alcohol no longer has a place in your life isn’t fun.   Better Help:  www.betterhelp.com/elevator - 10% off your first month. #sponsored   [10:48]: Paul introduces Grant:   Grant is 54 and lives in Sacramento, CA. He is married and they have two young adult kids. He enjoys hiking and the area he lives in has a lot of nice places he explores. Grant works in research and public policy work in California and now focuses on addiction and recovery.   Grant says his first experience with alcohol was when he was 12. A friend had procured a bottle of brandy and they both ended up drinking to the point of going to the hospital. He drank through junior high and high school with a group of friends on weekends. The drinking continued in college, and he started trying other substances as well. Grant says there weren’t many consequences.   When Grant was in his 30’s after they had children, he found that alcohol helped him take the stress off. He quickly switched from beer to vodka that was easier to hide. He was succeeding at work which stressed him out more than he realized. He says it took some time but eventually he was drinking in the morning just to feel normal.   In 2019 someone from HR confronted Grant about smelling of alcohol and he told them that he was an alcoholic. He couldn’t admit it to his wife initially but started looking for outpatient treatment. He was able to quit for a time but relapsed after a painful experience with work which found him resigning and taking a new job with a pay cut. At this point Grant had joined Café RE and left home for a little while to live in a sober living house. He learned a lot while he was there and realized that he was going to have to do things differently.   After sober living, Grant started a home breathalyzer program to help him stay motivated. A meetup with fellow Café RE members gave Grant another turning point and realized that he was on the right path.   In recovery, Grant started volunteering with a non-profit in the addiction and recovery field. He also started listening to another recovery podcast where he shared information about addiction and recovery. He left to work for the non-profit called Shatterproof which helps people find treatment and recovery with their Treatment Atlas. Grant also has his own website about addiction and recovery – Sober Linings Playbook.   [53:19] Paul closes the episode with a poem from Peter, a Café RE member.   Instagram - We regularly feature content here – often with goats! Recovery Elevator YouTube Sobriety Tracker iTunes    Recovery Elevator It all starts from the inside out. I love you guys.      
10/9/202358 minutes, 1 second
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RE 450: What are Alcohol Withdrawals Like in the First Week?

Episode 450 – What are Alcohol Withdrawals Like in the First Week?   Today we have Sarah. She is 46 and lives in Buckhannon, WV. Sarah has been alcohol free since December 15, 2022.   Our latest Ditching The Booze course begins tonight at 7:30pm EDT/4:30pm PDT and it is not too late to register. The 5-week course is called Writing a New Narrative and is designed to help you explore your sobriety story through journaling and writing prompts and it is free for Café RE members.   Cafe RE - Use the promo code OPPORTUNITY to waive the set-up fee.   Exact Nature: https://exactnature.com/RE20   [02:23] Highlights from Paul:   We are four weeks into our ten-episode Q & A series and today’s question is “what are alcohol withdrawals like in the first week?” This question as asked by Robyn in Café RE Blue.   The answer to this is going to depend on how much you drink on a daily or nightly basis and it’s not a one size fits all answer.   I highly recommend detoxing under medical supervised care if you consume more than 6-8 drinks daily and have been doing so for several months or years. Quitting cold turkey can be life threatening. 72 hours is the magic number. Once you hit this number, the worst of the physical components are behind you.   Paul shares some tips for navigating the first week and shares some of the changes our bodies go through. The whole withdrawal process from one week to several months has a term called PAWS or post-acute withdrawal symptoms. Check out the YouTube video Paul did about this.   Thank you, Robyn, for the question, if you want a question answered on the podcast, send your questions to [email protected].   Better Help:  www.betterhelp.com/elevator - 10% off your first month. #sponsored   [13:41]: Kris introduces Sarah:   Sarah currently lives in West Virginia, works in higher learning, and has two daughters and three stepchildren. For fun Sarah enjoys arts and crafts, DIY things, and enjoys plants.   In high school, Sarah did not drink but grew up around a lot of drinking by her extended family. She never saw anything negative about it. In her early twenties she joined the Air Force where drinking is prevalent. At one point she had a few friends approach her about her drinking to which Sarah took offense. Over the course of the next several years she continued to drink the same way. Despite small consequences, she didn’t feel like she had a problem.   Around 10 years ago she and her husband were in counseling. She stated in a session that she needed some help and went to rehab after which she was able to stay sober briefly. Sarah says she got a lot out of her time in rehab. For a short period of time Sarah was able to drink moderately, but it increased after a series of negative life events. She started noticing the negative side effects of heavy drinking physically and emotionally.   When Sarah got sober this time, she knew she needed to join a community, and someone recommended Café RE to her. She has made great friends since being there and feels like this time in sobriety has been easy and she earned for it to be.   Sarah’s plan for recovery moving forward: to keep doing the work, attend more chats and start thinking about how to serve others.   Sarah’s parting piece of guidance: talk about it and reach out with others that have similar experiences.   [59:20] Kris’ closing:   One last reminder that Thursday October 5th is the Recovery Reinvented conference. In person and online attendance is 100% free. Fall is here and Kris is ready for it. He reminds us all to get out there and play. Do all the fall things. Slow down, take a breath, and enjoy the moment you are in.   Instagram - We regularly feature content here – often with goats! Recovery Elevator YouTube Sobriety Tracker iTunes    You’re the only ones that can do this RE, but you don’t have to do it alone. I love you guys.      
10/2/20231 hour, 3 minutes, 47 seconds
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RE 449: How to Make it Through Your First Sober Concert?

Episode 449 - How to Make it Through Your First Sober Concert?   Today we have Santino. He is 35 from Taunton, MA and took his last drink on May 24th, 2022.   Our latest Ditching the Booze course begins Monday October 2nd at 7:30pm EDT/4:30pm PDT and is free to Café RE members. The 5-week course is called Writing a New Narrative and is designed to help you explore your sobriety story through journaling and writing prompts.   Cafe RE - Use the promo code OPPORTUNITY to waive the set-up fee.   We have partnered with Sober Link.  You can find some tips and can sign up for a $50 off promo code.   [03:05] Highlights from Paul:   Today’s question comes from Kelly in our Café RE Up Group. The question is “how do you make it through your first sober concert?”   The first of eight fantastic tips include giving yourself a little alcohol-free time before going to a concert. Once you’ve got some time under your belt, and the cravings are in check, then you can hit the green light on concerts.  Regardless of how many days you have, if you are feeling squirrely the dray of the concert then sit it out.  Sobriety is the priority.   Paul then shares several tips to include:   -       Always have a non-alcoholic beverage in hand. -       Do not volunteer to be the DD. -       Make sure everyone you are attending with knows your intentions.   Some of the best parts about sober concerts? You will remember it. You will save money. You won’t get a DUI on the drive home.   Better Help:  www.betterhelp.com/elevator - 10% off your first month. #sponsored   [10:14]: Paul introduces Santino:   Santino is a repeat guest and has maintained his sobriety since his last appearance on episode 397 where he was on day 43.   Santino is married and has one son. For fun, he loves going outside in nature to go hiking and go to the beach, but he also says that there is fun in everything since quitting drinking.   Santino had his first drink as a young teen. His mom was a single parent for a while, and he feels that he may have started drinking because the absence of his father bothered him. He learned that alcohol became a friend to him, and he feels like he used it for connection with his father and in contrast, to disconnect from her mother.   Santino joined the Air Force out of high school and found alcohol to be part of the culture. Between his early 20s and his early 30s he started deliberately planning his drinking to include before going out and drinking alone. Santino says he used a lot of rationalization that he wasn’t as bad as other people when it came to how he drank. He often pushed off having to think about it.   There wasn’t much hiding it from his spouse initially because they both drank. His hiding became more intentional as time went on, specifically after his son was born and during the pandemic. He found himself being sneakier about it. Santino started struggling with mood swings and being less communicative and didn’t want to address the fact that he needed help to quit drinking. He started to realize that this was going to destroy his family and he needed to rip the band aid off and address it. Once he addressed it with his wife, he felt freedom but was also worried about the process.   In the early days of his recovery, Santino and his wife began counseling to work on rebuilding their relationship. Santino also found that he started to feel healthier in general, was getting better sleep and did not miss the hangovers at all. Santino has been able to save money which assisted him with paying off some credit card debt he incurred while drinking.  As a parent, he feels more centered and present with his son. He attends AA frequently, listens to podcasts, and surrounds himself with others in recovery.   Santino’s parting piece of guidance: give yourself grace in all the moments that you feel that you don’t even deserve it.   Instagram - We regularly feature content here – often with goats! Recovery Elevator YouTube Sobriety Tracker iTunes    Recovery Elevator Go big, because eventually we all go home. I love you guys.      
9/25/202355 minutes, 54 seconds
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RE 448: How Do I Let Go and Stop Trying to Control

Episode 448 - How Do I Let Go and Stop Trying to Control   Today we have Jen. She is 48 from Boulder, CO and took her last drink on May 12th, 2021.   Our latest Ditching The Booze course begins Monday October 2nd at 7:30pm EDT/4:30pm PDT and is free to Café RE members. The 5-week course is called Writing a New Narrative and is designed to help you explore your sobriety story through journaling and writing prompts.   Cafe RE - Use the promo code OPPORTUNITY to waive the set-up fee.   We have partnered with Sober Link.  You can find some tips and can sign up for a $50 off promo code.   [02:48] Highlights from Kris:   Today’s question comes from Dale in Virginia. He wants to know “how do I learn to let go of things, and stop trying to control?”   Kris feels that two themes that come up over and over in recovery are surrender and acceptance. He says there are different types of control and while some of it is normal and can be healthy, trying to control things such as other people and how they feel about us is not healthy.   Kris shares his insights about this topic and shares with us: “when I have unrest on the inside, it presents itself on the outside. When I find that inner peace, I can extend it to the world around me”.   Better Help:  www.betterhelp.com/elevator - 10% off your first month. #sponsored   [11:50]: Kris welcomes Jen:   Jen joins us from Boulder, CO area and recently celebrated two years alcohol free. She is married and they have two kids and a dog. For fun Jen likes to be active outdoors and spending time with recovery friends nearby, fabric arts and yoga.   Jen didn’t drink when she was young because she learned that some family members quit drinking because they couldn’t control it. She drank very casually because she didn’t want to develop a problem, but over time peer pressure found her drinking more frequently. In grad school there was more binge drinking and hangovers. She and her husband drank only socially prior to having kids.   Jen went back to work shortly after having her first child and realized that she was missing out on a lot, so she became a stay-at-home mom. She bought boxed wine to try and save money and discovered it was too easy to refill the glass. Jen wanted to be a fun mom and used alcohol to feel less bored. Over time Jen started finding herself drinking after everyone went to bed.   After a situation that found both her husband and children concerned about her, Jen started to try quitting drinking. She had already been reading quit lit and listening to podcasts. She was able to make it over 100 days but decided to attempt moderation. She found that after a while the attempts to control how much she drank became frustrating. One day while listening to a podcast episode, she had a moment of clarity where she knew she had to quit drinking for good.   Jen feels that her husband quitting drinking shined a light on her drinking. She would make excuses to have drinks outside of the home.   Jen quit drinking the day after her birthday. She decided to join Café RE and started going on hikes with fellow RE members, hosting chats and giving back to the community. Jen finds “playing the tape forward” very helpful in addition to listening to herself and discovering what she needs. She enjoys reading self-help books instead of quit lit. Finding connections with other people and creating deep friendships was an unexpected perk Jen received in recovery.   Jen’s plan for recovery moving forward: working on her spiritual and self-discovery practice.   Jen’s parting piece of guidance: “play it forward” it is one tool that has never wavered for her. Keep your mind open and try a variety of things for your recovery.   [01:03:47] Kris’ outro:   Kris shares a story about a recent vacation with his family and how it relates to his expectations and control.   Instagram - We regularly feature content here – often with goats! Recovery Elevator YouTube Sobriety Tracker iTunes    Recovery Elevator Go big, because eventually we’ll all go home. I love you guys.      
9/18/20231 hour, 9 minutes, 38 seconds
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RE 447: Can You Be Addicted to Alcohol and Not Be An Alcoholic?

Episode 447 – Can You Be Addicted to Alcohol and Not Be An Alcoholic?   Today we have Stephanie. She is 35 from and took her last drink on December 31st, 2022.   Our latest Ditching The Booze course begins Monday October 2nd at 7:30pm EDT/4:30pm PDT and is free to Café RE members. The 5-week course is called Writing a New Narrative and is designed to help you explore your sobriety story through journaling and writing prompts.   If you are not yet a member and would like to joining click the link Cafe RE - Use the promo code OPPORTUNITY to waive the set-up fee.   We have partnered with Sober Link.  You can find some tips and can sign up for a $50 off promo code.   [02:43] Highlights from Paul:   Paul and Kris are going to be doing a ten-part intro series where we answer questions from listeners.  If you have a question that you’d like us to answer on the air, send them to [email protected].   Paul shares one of his biggest regrets since starting the podcast and also answers the first question from Brady in South Denver. He asked, “can you be addicted to alcohol and not be an alcoholic?”   Paul begins his answer with “The Answer is yes. And no. And a little bit of yes, and little bit of No. Welcome to a world full of paradoxes.”   Next week we will hear Kris answer the next question: “How do I learn to let go of things and stop trying to control?”.   Better Help:  www.betterhelp.com/elevator - 10% off your first month. #sponsored   [09:23]: Paul introduces Stephanie:   Stephanie is 35 and she is from Connecticut, currently living in Washington State. She works as an accountant and as a server at a restaurant. She has one son and a dog. Stephanie enjoys reading both for fun and for a podcast she has: So, What Are You Reading?, and she has recently picked up paddleboarding.   Stephanie had her first drink when she was 16 and had a bad experience and said she wasn’t going to do it again. She drank very sporadically until she moved to Washington with her son’s father. After they broke up, she moved into an apartment on her own and felt like alcohol was her only friend. She progressed from wine to harder alcohol over time and began to try and put parameters on her drinking. After a while, Stephanie realized that drinking wasn’t what she was supposed to be doing. She started recognizing that she wasn’t present for her son. Her anxiety was terrible, and she had issues with remembering things from the night before which made it worse. But Stephanie says she enjoyed the chaos that came with the drinking escapades, even though it was making her life harder than it needed to be. She got to the point that she didn’t want to do anything.   When Stephanie’s current boyfriend did a Dry January in 2021, Stephanie joined him but says she white knuckled through it and drank as soon as February 1st came. That was when she started questioning what the point of drinking was. She had some very negative events in her last year of drinking to the point that on January 1st, 2023, she decided enough was enough.   During the first 30 days she binged on podcasts and YouTube videos. She started journalling, doing puzzles and playing board games with her son. Stephanie has been able to get into grad school, is able to plan vacations and try a lot of new things. Reading, exercise, and time outdoors have become very important to Stephanie.   Stephanie’s favorite resources: The Sober Café (Facebook group), Recovery Elevator and other recovery podcasts,   Stephanie’s parting piece of guidance: if alcohol is impacting you in a negative way just take it out for 100 days.   [49:27] Closing thoughts:   If you’re not ready to quit drinking, none of the information we covered today is going to land, if you are ready, it doesn’t matter what we cover. Focus on the similarities and not the differences.   Instagram - We regularly feature content here – often with goats! Recovery Elevator YouTube Sobriety Tracker iTunes    Recovery Elevator I love you guys. All is fine, and all will be well.      
9/11/202354 minutes, 18 seconds
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RE 446: Go Easy on Yourself

Episode 446 – Go Easy on Yourself   Today we have Jonathan. He is 44 from Grand Forks, ND and took his last drink on May 17th, 2008.   Our six week Ditching the Booze mindfulness course starts Monday, September 18th and meets on Monday nights at 8:30 PM EST. This course is included with Café RE membership and is for Café RE members only.   Cafe RE - Use the promo code OPPORTUNITY to waive the set-up fee.   We have partnered with Sober Link. You can find some tips and can sign up for a $50 off promo code.   [02:24] Highlights from Paul:   Straying from the sometimes-complex intros, Paul urges us to go easy on ourselves.   Despite all of our agricultural, scientific, and technological innovations, this is the hardest time it has ever been to be a human being. Rates of addiction and overdoses are soaring. Dr. Gabor Mate’s book The Myth of Normal shows how our out of balance culture is creating mountains of unrest and disease.   Life is already a challenge and living in the modern world without substances to slow down the prefrontal cortex, it is even harder.   Go easy on yourself. Life is going to kick your ass at some time or another. Don’t let that Bruno voice in the head make it any worse. Once that voice starts chirping about how you should have done XYZ differently, and how you’re doomed for eternity, locate the true you and tell that Bruno voice to step aside, and you’ll take it from here.   Be sure to start your day with words of compassion. Compassion for you, those nearest to you, the animals outside your window, and for those who are still struggling with alcohol.     Better Help:  www.betterhelp.com/elevator - 10% off your first month. #sponsored   [8:11]: Kris introduces Jonathan:   Jonathan is 44 years old and lives in Grand Forks, ND. He has worked in the restaurant industry most of his life and is also the managing director for the office of Recovery Reinvented. For fun Jonathan likes to spend time outside and cook. He is married and they have three daughters.   Jonathan says he had a good childhood with a lot of parental support. He feels like his exposure to alcohol as a teenager was normal. He says drinking never got in the way of his grades or playing sports. While in college Jonathan started working in bars and restaurants where drinking is part of the culture. His drinking increased and he ended up dropping out of school.   Jonathan realized early on that his drinking looked different from his peers. He witnessed others being able to stop with a few drinks after work whereas he would just go to the next bar or go home and keep the party going. He didn’t think he was drinking to mask anything, so he didn’t have a problem, he just really enjoyed drinking.   While Jonathan was doing well in his career, his drinking increased. He opened his first restaurant when he was 27 and was very successful. People were starting to tell Jonathan that he should cut back but he struggled to do so.   Jonathan had a meeting with his business partner and his father where he was told that things needed to change, or the partnership was going to end. This is what it took for Jonathan to seek treatment. He went to inpatient treatment for 30 days. While there he went from feeling like this was a temporary change to realizing that he needed it to be long term. He started seeing the similarities with others instead of the differences.   Jonathan completed 30 days and continued with outpatient treatment. He made the decision to be transparent with his recovery. He feels that helped him stay accountable and sober.   Jonathan’s favorite resource in recovery: I Am Sober app (he likes seeing how much money he has saved).   Jonathan’s parting piece of guidance: “Everything that is good in my life today is in my life because alcohol is not.”   Recovery Reinvented   Instagram - We regularly feature content here – often with goats! Recovery Elevator YouTube Sobriety Tracker iTunes    Recovery Elevator We took the elevator down, we have to take the stairs back up You can do this. I love you guys.      
9/4/20231 hour, 2 minutes, 28 seconds
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RE 445: Keep on Dancing

Episode 445 – Keep Dancing   Today we have Cindy. She is 54 from Kure Beach, NC and took her last drink on March 2nd, 2023.   We are doing an East Coast Café RE meet-up tour!  NYC on Wednesday August 30th, Philadelphia Saturday September 2nd, and DC on Tuesday September 5th. For questions about the event please email [email protected]   This is a reminder of the suicide prevention hotline 988, which was launched one year ago. This number has fielded 5 million calls, texts, and chats in the past year alone and has saved countless lives.   We have partnered with Sober Link.  You can find some tips and can sign up for a $50 off promo code.   [03:23] Highlights from Paul:   After recently watching a social media video featuring a sober influencer dancing, Paul decided to challenge this individual to a breakdancing battle. Meanwhile another sober influencer viewing this video stated that watching this video made him want to drink.   Let’s zoom out for a second.   The Tik Tok user, with millions of followers, said that watching videos of this person dancing - made them want to drink. To summarize that in two words it would be: Stop Dancing. Then we have Paul who challenges this person to a sober break dance battle. We can summarize this statement in two words: Keep dancing.   So, listeners, keep on dancing, and never stop. If you don’t know your metaphorical or literal dance steps, stick around. The knowledge will return. If someone tells you that your dancing makes them want to drink, then that is 100% their problem. When you dance, it gives others permission to dance. You don’t need alcohol, it won’t make you better, and you’ll remember all of it.   Better Help:  www.betterhelp.com/elevator - 10% off your first month. #sponsored   [08:52] Paul introduces Cindy:   Cindy is 54, grew up in Maryland but currently lives in North Carolina. She has been married for 23 years and they have two children and a dog. She works as an operating room nurse and recently got a master’s degree.   Cindy recalls first having alcohol late in high school. She was very social throughout college and enjoyed drinking a lot. She traveled a lot after college and knows that she drank but didn’t have any major consequences. Cindy says she and her husband drank but she doesn’t recall it affecting her life much. Happy Hour after work was very common for her due to the stressful job she has. Even after an incident where she was able to get out of a DUI, she still didn’t recognize that she had a problem. The drinking increased but Cindy always thought it was her husband that had the problem, not her. There were no attempts to moderate and no consequences, so the drinking continued.   Cindy started wondering why she wasn’t happy because she had a good life. Since she felt it was her husband that had the issue, Cindy started attending Al-Anon. When she returned from a travel nursing job, she realized how terrible she was feeling. She had been drinking every night, driving drunk often, and started having some consequences. Soon she found herself in an AA meeting where she had what she considers an awakening of sorts. She felt like she had found people that understood her.   Earlier this year, a podcast episode Cindy was listening spoke of living an authentic life. This really resonated with her, and she realized alcohol had to go. She started attending AA regularly after her last drink and is learning to deal with her feelings and learning from them. Cindy utilizes many tools to process how she feels and knows that alcohol is not the answer.   Cindy’s favorite resources in recovery: recovery podcasts, being active in AA   Cindy’s parting piece of guidance: If you are contemplating stopping drinking, think about why you are drinking.   Cafe RE - Use the promo code OPPORTUNITY to waive the set-up fee. Instagram - We regularly feature content here – often with goats! Recovery Elevator YouTube Sobriety Tracker iTunes    Recovery Elevator I love you guys. Go big, keep dancing, because eventually we’ll all go home.      
8/28/202349 minutes, 39 seconds
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RE 444: Alcohol Consumption by State

Episode 444 – Alcohol Consumption by State   Today we have Chad. He is 51 from Southern Indiana and took his last drink on March 25th, 2022.   Follow Recovery Elevator on Instagram! We’re starting to put more video content on the platform so check it out!   Join us Saturday August 26th in Boston, MA for a day of service in collaboration with The Phoenix.  Learn more about the event here.   We have partnered with Sober Link.  You can find some tips and can sign up for a $50 off promo code.   [02:47] Highlights from Paul:   Something heard often while interviewing guests is “you don’t know what it’s like to grow up in Wisconsin, Texas, in Las Vegas, in Trenton, New Jersey, or you don’t know how much we drink in…” fill in the blank. So yes, it is ubiquitous, but there is a front runner.   Check out the full list and see where your state ranks: Alcohol Consumption by State   In 2012 British researcher Dr. David Nutt was tasked by the government to put harm scores on 20 of the world’s most harmful drug. Alcohol came in at #1 beating out crack, heroin, meth and cocaine.   Paul shares some stats about the costs of alcohol use disorder in Montana. You can see stats for all of the US here: Alcohol Abuse Statistics   Better Help:  www.betterhelp.com/elevator - 10% off your first month. #sponsored   [11:48] Kris introduces Chad:   Chad has been sober for a little over 15 months at the time of this recording. He is 51 and lives in a small town in Indiana. Chad is married, and they have three children. He works for the government. He enjoys talking recovery, umpiring softball, and cycling.   Chad’s parents divorced when he was young. He never felt like he fit in at either of his parents’ homes and was a people pleaser doing whatever he could to fit in. Chad moved in with his dad when he was 13. After an ankle injury he was sidelined from sports, and he ended up finding a new group of friends that dabbled in drugs and alcohol. He says he struggled through high school and was looking at the military instead of going to college. He was looking forward to having some structure that he didn’t feel he had growing up between two households.   After graduating, Chad spent the summer partying and started basic training in August. He was sent to Germany after more training, and they drank a lot there. He started to notice that he needed to drink just to feel normal. He ended up leaving after one deployment and realized the military wasn’t for him.   Chad left the military and went into construction work. He and his wife hadn’t married yet, but she was pregnant, which was frowned upon by her family. Four years after having their daughter they got married and while they got a house together and continued to grow the family, Chad drank to deal with his stressors. It got to the point where Chad couldn’t do anything without a drink in his hand. He says drinking took a front seat to everything else. On days when he could not drink, he was starting to have symptoms of withdrawal. He began to hide alcohol and his tolerance grew.   After a bad blackout and confrontation with his wife, he felt terrible and realized that he needed help. His wife encouraged him to seek inpatient treatment which is what Chad was hoping for. With his wife’s support he found a rehab that helped him a lot. He was able to talk to therapists and realize that he wasn’t alone. After 30 days in rehab, Chad started AA, started reading more books about recovery and has found Zoom meetings and listening to the RE podcast very helpful.   Chad’s plan for recovery moving forward: Dig deeper into his recovery and be of service.   Chad’s parting piece of guidance: A life worth living can be found in sobriety. You’re worth it, give yourself a chance. “No” is a full answer.   Cafe RE  Use the promo code OPPORTUNITY to waive the set-up fee. Recovery Elevator YouTube Sobriety Tracker iTunes    We’re the only ones that can do this RE, but we don’t have to do it alone. I love you guys.      
8/21/20231 hour, 8 minutes, 6 seconds
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RE 443: A Different Type of Alcoholic

Episode 443 -  A Different Type of Alcoholic   Today we have Kelly, she is 46 from Minneapolis, MN and took her last drink on June 18th, 2023.   Join us Saturday August 26th in Boston, MA for a day of service in collaboration with The Phoenix.  Learn more about the event here.   Check out our sponsor Go Brewing. Use the code ELEVATOR for 15% off.   [02:57] Highlights from Paul:   When saying the word “alcoholic”, these images, and thoughts commonly come to mind:   Living under a Bridge. Brown paper bag. Homeless. Hopeless. Unemployed.   Some of this is accurate but studies show only 5% of alcoholics fit these descriptions. The other 95% are high functioning, tend to be high earners, more educated, are healthier and have more stable relationships than average.   With the estimated 452 million alcoholics that don’t fit the stereotypical description of an alcoholic, this takes the saying you are not alone to a new level.   We justify or benchmark our drinking according to what an alcoholic looks like. I’m not that bad, I have a job, and money in the bank. We surround ourselves with other drinkers who don’t fit the alcoholic stereotype to solidify our own positions on the addiction scale. Now a classic trait of an addiction is that we are blind to where we actually are with the addiction process. The hole you find yourself in is probably deeper than you think. My recommendation is to stop digging. You CAN put the shovel down. Another classic trait of an addiction is the progression. We have 452 million alcoholics on the globe who are not living under a bridge or drinking out of brown paper bag yet.   Better Help:  www.betterhelp.com/elevator - 10% off your first month. #sponsored   [09:30] Paul introduces Kelly:   Kelly took her last drink on June 18th, 2023, and has 6 days at the time of this recording. She is 46 and lives in Minneapolis. She leads software development teams for a living. Kelly loves the outdoors and enjoys running, hiking, and paddleboarding. She enjoys movies, music, and museums as well.   Kelly first tried alcohol at a party in 9th grade. Drinking was not something that she wanted to do but she succumbed to peer pressure. A year later she started spending time visiting her brother at college, and she enjoyed hanging out with him and his friends and started drinking more frequently. It was a good escape from the abuse she was dealing with at home.   In college Kelly was drinking and dealing with an eating disorder. She worked hard to overcome her bulimia but then her drinking ramped up after that. After college she married a fellow engineer, and they would drink heavily together. After they started having children and settling down, her husband was able to quit the excessive drinking, but Kelly was not.   While raising her children, Kelly was able to cut back on drinking and started putting rules around it. Her relationship wasn’t going well, and Kelly was going out more frequently and drinking almost daily. After a few drinking and driving charges, Kelly began to realize that she could no longer control it. Over time she recognized that she was starting to isolate more and then would go out to bars to find connection with other people.   Kelly has been able to have more gaps in drinking days over time and has been acquiring tools throughout the process. She is recognizing that she needs to treat her sobriety like a baby and nurture it daily. Each morning she meditates and uses the Reframe app. She attends AA meetings frequently and has recently found a therapist to help her with her childhood trauma.   Kelly’s plan for recovery moving forward: keep doing things that make her feel uncomfortable, attending more meetings, and new meditation practices.   Kelly’s parting piece of guidance: keep trying, be open to new resources.   Cafe RE  Use the promo code OPPORTUNITY to waive the set-up fee. Recovery Elevator YouTube Sobriety Tracker iTunes    Recovery Elevator Go big, because eventually we’ll all go home. I love you guys.      
8/14/202359 minutes, 27 seconds
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RE 442: Time to Breathe

Episode 442 – Time to Breathe   Today we have Jeff, he is 35 from Salt Lake City, UT and had his last drink on April 6th, 2023.   Shout out to the Café RE chat hosts. Thank you for continuing to hold space for our community and for creating an environment where we can come together and heal.   Go Brewing. Use the code ELEVATOR for 15% off.   [03:46] Highlights from Kris:   Kris finds sober anniversaries a good opportunity to reflect on where he was and where he is today. He asks himself questions such as “What have I gone through? How have I been able to meet the challenges placed in front of me? Am I moving in the direction I want to in my life?”   In active addiction Kris was not able to show love to himself. He knew that the things he was doing were hurting other people and himself. He knew his wife, kids, parents, and friends all loved him, but he couldn’t let the love in. He was stuck in the loop of “I’m not enough, I’ve screwed up too much, I deserve to feel this way.”   If you’re listening, and you’re there today, know that you are not alone. Many of us have been there and know how hard it is.    We don’t have to be perfect RE… that’s never going to happen. All we have to be is willing. We have to be willing to be honest with where we are today. Without judgement, where are things in our life right now? What is the next right thing to step into our new future? Where can we find support? Don’t worry about trying to resolve every issue in your life all at once. Just take little bites.   Better Help:  www.betterhelp.com/elevator - 10% off your first month. #sponsored   [09:40] Kris introduces Jeff:   At the time of recording, Jeff is celebrating 90 days of sobriety and plans to celebrate with cacao.  He is 35 and lives in Salt Lake City with his wife and two dogs. For fun Jeff enjoys mountain biking, skiing, running, and music is a big part of his life.   Growing up, alcohol was always present at celebrations hosted by his parents and their friends. It was normal for him to see people drink to excess. Jeff’s first drink was when he was 16 with some friends and stolen rum. Early on he recognized that his drinking was different than other people’s. On the outside, he was successful at school but was suffering from depression that alcohol helped him escape from.   After high school Jeff went to the east coast to play hockey for two years. This required a lot of discipline, so Jeff’s drinking was limited to one day each week. He never moderated and usually ended up blacking out.   When Jeff turned 20, he started college where he played hockey and studied engineering. During his freshman year he got a bad concussion and struggled a lot with the side effects afterwards. He initially used drinking to self-medicate the side effects but drinking started to become the answer to everything.   After college Jeff moved back to Alaska for a job. He had his own place with two roommates who he frequently drank with late into the night. He was able to keep up with work and other activities so in spite of some health consequences, he didn’t feel he had a problem.   Jeff started questioning his drinking after he caught himself drinking and driving frequently. He found Allen Carr’s book and was able to stop drinking for 11 days. Since then, he has been in the cycle of quitting and then starting back with different lengths of time between drinks.   Therapy has been helpful for Jeff over the last three years and his wife has been very supportive. Connection has become very important to him.   Jeff’s plan in recovery moving forward: moving forward with integrity and owning who he is.   Jeff’s parting piece(s) of guidance: it’s ok if you think this is hard because it is hard. Even just listening to this podcast is a huge win. Recovery is not a straight line.   Cafe RE  Use the promo code OPPORTUNITY to waive the set-up fee Recovery Elevator YouTube Sobriety Tracker iTunes    Recovery Elevator You’re the only one that can do this, but you don’t have to do it alone. I love you guys.      
8/7/202358 minutes, 24 seconds
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RE 441 Connection With a Molecule

Episode 441 – Connection With a Molecule   Today we have Shane, he is 39 from Birmingham, AL and took his last drink on December 25th, 2021.   [00:58] Highlights from Paul:   Many of us share the same response to our first drink. It’s a firework show internally that connects the missing dots. We finally feel connected. Alcohol becomes our best friend.   Now do not beat yourself up if you find yourself in a tightly intertwined relationship with alcohol. Humans are pack animals and need connection to survive. We need partnership. As addiction guru Dr. Gabor Mate would say, congratulations, you found alcohol, you found a way to survive. Yes, there is the disease model, but there’s also the unease model. A deep unrest or lack of connection with others and ourselves.   How do we fix this? Like we learned in last week’s episode, it’s robust social connections that fix this. Some of us have difficulty making deep connections with other human beings but connection with nonhuman souls can help us quit drinking too. Animals help us release oxytocin and serotonin; they help our nervous systems relax. Studies show plants and trees can do the same thing.   To summarize, we connected with a molecule. Which ended up being the most dangerous and addictive molecule thus far recorded, and there is plenty of data to back that up. So, what’s next? Start building connections with other people, places, and things, like your life depends on it. Because it does.   We have a new sponsor! Check out Go Brewing. Use the code ELEVATOR for 15% off.   [08:12] Paul introduces Shane:   Shane is 39 years old, currently lives outside of Birmingham, AL. He is married with two children. He works in the heavy truck parts industry. He has been playing guitar since he was 15.   Shane had no interest in drinking prior to trying it on a beach trip with friends when he was 20. Shane was surround by alcohol while working as a musician and in the service industry. He found that alcohol made it easier for him to talk to and socialize with people. He first recognized that he might have a problem when he realized he was starting to rely on alcohol to alleviate any stress he was having. He met his wife while they were working on a music album together.   Shane started having increasing anxiety and his drinking issues were becoming more apparent to those around him. He was given an ultimatum by his wife to quit drinking. He was able to quit drinking for about five years.   Shane’s father passed away and he ended up taking over the business abruptly. At this point he had already relapsed and would have a series of stops and starts utilizing different programs, but nothing ever stuck. Shortly after his daughter was born Shane made his most recent attempt at recovery after some conversations with his wife. He started attending AA three times a week and this was the first time that he admitted to himself that he could not control this. Shane says he felt huge relief when he realized that.   Shane says that within the first six months of sobriety his sleep improved, he was able to do more by not planning his life around alcohol. Exercise has been very helpful to Shane as well. He is open with friends and family around his recovery and has no issues being around alcohol. Shane feels the next step for him is leaning into the service aspect of recovery.   Shane’s favorite resources in recovery: RE podcast, AA, SMART Recovery   Shane’s parting piece of guidance: “just stop drinking”   Cafe RE  Use the promo code OPPORTUNITY to waive the set-up fee Recovery Elevator YouTube Sobriety Tracker iTunes    Recovery Elevator It all starts from the inside out. I love you guys.        
7/31/202344 minutes, 13 seconds
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RE 440: How to Undo Trauma

Episode 440 - How to Undo Trauma   Today we have Kathy. She is 31 from Dillworth, MN and has been clean since June 13th, 2016.   Thank you to all of the Café RE chat hosts. You all do a great job!   We have an exciting new sponsor for the podcast! Go Brewing has an amazing lineup of NA beers. Use the code ELEVATOR for 15% off your order.     [02:06] Highlights from Paul:   Before we get started, how is your summer going? How is sobriety going? How is your AF clock going? How is your life going? Regardless of your answer to all those questions, Paul reminds us that we are not alone. Recovery Elevator is right here with you every step of the way.   A recent study of baboons revealed that establishing robust social connections in adulthood,  is so beneficial to the animals that it can mitigate the consequences of traumatic experiences during their early years. There’s that word again. Connection. In addition, researchers have found that once these connections are made, the baboons report living longer lives.   We have learned, are learning - that building connections helps us depart from alcohol. When we first enter an actual relationship with the molecule alcohol. It’s a wonderful courtship, but we soon realize that alcohol gave us wings, and then took away the sky. We must replace the connection we had with alcohol with something else.   Better Help:  www.betterhelp.com/elevator - 10% off your first month. #sponsored   [09:39] Kris introduces Kathy:   Kathy just celebrated 7 years of recovery. She lives in Dillworth, MN, she works in care coordination with the F5 Project and has five children ranging from 5 to 18. For fun she hangs out with recovery friends while doing a variety of activities.   Kathy’s parents were both addicts and she was in the foster care system early in life. She would spend her childhood moving in and out of foster homes. When she was 12 she ended up living with her brothers and stepfather because her mother went to jail. Kathy wanted to be like her older brothers and started drinking to have a good time.   It didn’t take long for her drinking and drug abuse to get out of control. Kathy ended up getting pregnant at age 16 by a man she didn’t know well. She says she no longer had parental support. She quit all substances through her pregnancy and had a goal to be a different mom than her own. She was unable to stay quit and felt a lot of guilt and shame surrounding it.   Kathy was not able to stay clean during her second pregnancy and after having the baby she spent a lot of time stealing to support her habit and her children. She ended up trying rehab at one point but was unable to stay sober for very long.   Kathy feels she didn’t have great parenting skills and ended up losing custody of her children due to the drug abuse. Some felonies found her in jail and she tried to use this as an opportunity to get clean. After losing a close friend, Kathy asked her stepfather to bail her out. After about two months of using again she decided to get clean because that is what her friend would have wanted for her.   She was able to get into inpatient treatment and felt this time that she was truly ready. As soon as she arrived, she went to a drum ceremony where she felt her spirit being awoken. She started learning about how her trauma affected her which helped her shed her shame. After treatment Kathy lived in a halfway house for a few months and upon getting out had her third child.   Kathy started going to school for social work and was able foster her nieces who she has now adopted. She loves her current job as care coordinator and giving back to others.   Kathy’s plan in sobriety moving forward: to keep on giving back, anywhere and everywhere.   Kathy’s parting piece of guidance: You have control over your actions, and you can train your brain to be and do better.   Cafe RE  Use the promo code OPPORTUNITY to waive the set-up fee Recovery Elevator YouTube Sobriety Tracker iTunes    Recovery Elevator It all starts from the inside out. I love you guys.
7/24/20231 hour, 3 minutes, 47 seconds
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RE 439: Developing a Spiritual Practice

Episode 439 – Developing a Spiritual Practice   Today we have Liz, she’s 38 from LaVale, MD and took her last drink on December 31st, 2022.   Thank you to the Café RE chat host, you all do an incredible job!   Athletic Greens   [02:22] Highlights from Paul:   This is not a religious podcast. Paul feels that religion and spirituality are not two sides of the same coin.   When we drink alcohol, spiritually, our electrical current to the universe is severed. In fact, in many cultures, the name alcohol literally means, soul sucking spirit. Then mentally, the chemical alcohol turns our brains into tepid soup. After that, we have the physical component - pancreatitis and liver failure come to mind.   What is spirituality? What is a spiritual practice? We are connecting with the self. We are connecting within. You become more ocean and less wave. In short, spirituality is connection with the self, which then leads to a connection with nature, the universe, a higher power, and some may call it God. Why do we drink? Why did we drink? To get this sense of connection.   Paul shares many examples of spiritual practices and reminds us that we don’t have to wait for the normal order of healing in order to implement some these. We can start right now.   Better Help:  www.betterhelp.com/elevator - 10% off your first month. #sponsored   [11:03] Paul introduces Liz:   Liz is from a small-town Maryland. She is married with two kids; she is a registered nurse and attending school as she is working toward her master’s degree. She enjoys spending time outdoors: kayaking, hiking, camping, being a soccer mom.   Liz grew up in a tightknit family and was the youngest of three sisters. She first tried alcohol with a cousin when she was in 6th grade. She didn’t really enjoy it and thought it tasted terrible. She wasn’t a big drinker in high school, just the occasional party.   She drank like everyone else during college and worked in the service industry. It was normal for her to be the last person drinking at parties, but she worked and went to school with little issue.     Liz’s drinking escalated when she began nursing school. She was already married with two kids and struggled balancing it all. She used alcohol as a stress reliever. Her first job after graduating was in the ICU working night shifts. She would drink after her shifts and tried to hide the amount of drinking from her husband. She still didn’t feel she had a problem. Liz says her moderation attempts found her feeling more stressed and caused mood swings.   Liz went to inpatient rehab and was able to stay sober for six months. She started attending AA and using the tools she learned in rehab. Her relapse happened on a soccer trip after another parent called her out for not drinking which triggered her. She now feels that her lack of planning or having a network contributed to the relapse as well. She lost control of her drinking. Over the next few years, she spent a lot of time in treatment and trying to figure out what was causing the issues and what needed to change.   Liz got a sponsor with AA and started the steps right away after her last drink. She sometimes gets cravings but plays the tape forward. She knows that if she drinks, she will not be able to be there for any of her family if they need her. Liz made a post on Facebook about her recovery and received a lot of love and many messages from people regarding their own struggles. Liz says that she feels so much freedom now that she is alcohol free and has found her higher power.   Liz’s favorite resources in recovery: AA, recovery podcasts   Liz’s parting piece of guidance: don’t ever give up, no matter what happens you can wake up the next day and keep going.   Cafe RE  Use the promo code OPPORTUNITY to waive the set-up fee Recovery Elevator YouTube Sobriety Tracker iTunes    Recovery Elevator Go big, because eventually we all go home. I love you guys.        
7/17/202351 minutes, 54 seconds
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RE 438: Expectations

Episode 438 – Expectations   Today we have something different lined up. Instead of one interviewee, we’ve got a panel of sober rockstars who have been kicking ass and taking names in this field for a while now. You’re going to love it.   Recovery Elevator welcomes our newest sponsor, Athletic Greens.   [02:33] Highlights from Paul:   We are full of expectations. Both for ourselves and other people. Top of that list is we expect happiness in a world where nothing is guaranteed. We have been conditioned throughout our life that any discomfort represents failure, and a certain product, drink or pill will end the suffering.   How do we let expectations go? It’s impossible. All you can do is become aware you are expecting something different for yourself or other people.   Another reason why expectations are dangerous is it throws gratitude right out of the window. We also expect the earth to keep providing the natural resources needed for our survival, which are never guaranteed. We definitely need to approach sunshine, fresh drinking water, clean air, and shelter from a stance of gratitude opposed to expecting them to be delivered to us because we deserve them. More on that next week.   “The days in which my gratitude exceeds my expectations are really good days” – Ray Wylie Hubbard.   Better Help:  www.betterhelp.com/elevator - 10% off your first month. #sponsored   [10:54] The interviewees introduce themselves:   Laura Cathcart Robbins, the host of “The Only One in the Room” podcast and author of the book Stash: My Life in Hiding.   Eric Zimmer, the hose of “The One You Feed” podcast and creator of a program called Spiritual Habits.   Paul Churchill, the host of “Recovery Elevator” podcast (who we all know and love).   Gill hosts the Sober Powered podcast and is also a chemistry professor in the Boston area.   Gill wants to talk about early sobriety and what the experience was like for each guest.   [14:33] Laura has almost 15 years in sobriety. She shares that her first month of sobriety was spent in rehab. She hated it and felt resentful of those that enjoyed it. She attended a lot of recovery meetings and felt sentenced and never felt like she fit in initially. Laura remembers the early days often and knows she doesn’t want to return there.   [17:18] Eric first got sober from heroin when he was 24. He stayed sober for about eight years but returned to alcohol for a few years. He has since gotten sober again and has been sober for 16 years. What Eric remembers about early recovery is that just quitting substances wasn’t enough. He was plagued by the war that went on between using and not using and he feels that after some time in recovery, the turmoil subsides.   [20:08] Paul had a moment of clarity during a wedding he was DJ’ing where he was extremely drunk and had to ask a colleague to finish. He quit drinking a few days later and planned on going to rehab. He decided to wait and try recovery with AA and spending more time in nature.   [22:48] Gill is three and half years sober. She quit because it was affecting her mental health. She was scared to share her issues with anyone initially, so she did the first few months in recovery by herself.    The guests continue to share their experiences around their early sobriety, their readiness to quit drinking and reflect on what helped them in recovery then and what continues to help them now.   Connect with Laura – The Only One in the Room Podcast   Connect with Eric – The One You Feed   Connect with Gill – Sober Powered   Cafe RE  Use the promo code OPPORTUNITY to waive the set-up fee Recovery Elevator YouTube Sobriety Tracker iTunes    Recovery Elevator You took the elevator down, you got to take the stairs back up, you can do this. I love you guys.  
7/10/20231 hour, 14 minutes, 19 seconds
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RE 437: Inner Conflict

Episode 437 – Inner Conflict   Today we have Mark who is 45 from Connecticut and took his last drank on January 15, 2023.   Thank you to all of the Café RE chat hosts. You all do a great job!   We have partnered with Sober Link.  You can find some tips and can sign up for a $50 off promo code.     [01:55] Highlights from Paul:   It is impossible to avoid conflict in a human life. All attempts to avoid it,  will only result in more conflict. It built into the human experience. After all, we are reconciling the Yin to our Yang on a daily basis. Somedays the dark side says take a seat, and the next day, we welcome the light.   Addictions take hold when is there is intense inner conflict. When parts of our personalities are out of balance. Or when parts of us are screaming for attention because we are in pain. In addition, this inner imbalance is a representation that the whole of society is out of balance causing many of us to question “what the hell is going on?”. Your individual unrest is not separate from the whole.   And how do we solve the “what the hell is going on” question? We do the inner work. We face this inner conflict. We learn from it. We recognize what the addiction is trying to force us to do.   Better Help:  www.betterhelp.com/elevator - 10% off your first month. #sponsored   [10:39] Kris introduces Mark:   Mark is 45, lives in Connecticut has five months alcohol free at the time of this recording. He is married and has two dogs and a cat. He works in marketing and customer experience. For fun Mark loves to hike, ski and garden.   Alcohol has been part of Mark’s life for as long as he can remember. At a very young age his dad gave him a sip of his beer and Mark liked it. Mark didn’t drink much until his senior year of high school when he came out as gay. He and his brother would go to the local bar on the weekends in an effort to connect with others like them.   Mark’s drinking progressed throughout college, but he had the “work hard, play hard” mentality and tried to limit his drinking to the weekends while being productive during the week. This continued through the beginning of his career. At many of his work events, it was seen as abnormal to drink more than two drinks. Mark found himself always wanting to leave these events in order to go find more alcohol. Later at another job the culture was different where everyone drank like Mark wanted to. Alcohol was always present in his day-to-day life, so he didn’t need to hide it.   The consequences of Mark’s drinking started to impact his life. He was drinking daily and even more on the weekends and vacations. He became fearful as he had more experiences of blacking out. Mark feels that the fear came from not being comfortable with himself. After being able to stack some sober days, he realized the fear came from self-loathing. As he started evaluating how he ended up drinking so much he realized he had become a people pleaser but drinking made it harder and harder to live up to expectations. He started feeling shame around his drinking.   Mark started his journey by trying Dry January, listening to podcasts and reading books. Mark found himself in a cycle of gaining some sobriety time and then getting derailed. He reached the point where he didn’t enjoy drinking anymore. Mark sought out a therapist who helped him recognize that he was doing it alone and pushed Mark to attend AA and find community. He struggled to connect with AA and decided to try Café RE. Once Mark realized that this couldn’t be done alone, he was able to push his fear aside and explore recovery with a community.   Mark’s plan in sobriety moving forward: to continue making connections, making sobriety a priority every day.   Mark’s parting piece of guidance: don’t give up and be willing to try everything. It will be scary but it’s worth it.   Cafe RE  Use the promo code OPPORTUNITY to waive the set-up fee Recovery Elevator YouTube Sobriety Tracker iTunes      We took the elevator down, but we’ve got to take the stairs back up I love you guys.        
7/3/202355 minutes, 52 seconds
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RE 436: Our Road Ahead

Episode 436 – Our Road Ahead   Today we have Lacey. She’s 34 from Illinois and has been sober since May 15, 2020.   Recovery Elevator welcomes our newest sponsor, Athletic Greens.   [02:16] Highlights from Kris:   We feel it is important to use these first few episodes of Season Five to set a foundation for the upcoming year. Kris shares the RE mission statement and talks about what each of the six key themes means to him.   To recap, our mission statement: we offer hope through community and connection. Partnering sobriety seeking individuals with other likeminded people.   Over and over and over again, you’re going to hear us, and our guests, talk about the importance of connection. It’s not because it’s the only thing we know how to talk about; but simply because it’s THAT IMPORTANT.   Recovery Elevator’s Six Themes:   1)    We are inclusive 2)    There is no right or wrong way to do this 3)    Connection 4)    Don’t just quit drinking 5)    We need to remain open 6)    We must pass along what we learn to others     Better Help:  www.betterhelp.com/elevator - 10% off your first month. #sponsored   [09:30] Kris introduces Lacey:   Lacey is 34 and lives in Illinois. She is an instructional designer. She is married and has two cats. Lacey loves walking, camping, cooking, and doing crafts. She is part of a community theater and enjoys volunteering at the local animal shelter.   Lacey was young when her parents quit drinking, so alcohol was never around. She feels the mystery made it more interesting to her. She first drank with theater friends in her sophomore year of high school. This was the first time that she felt included in something.   After a falling out with some friends in senior year, Lacey found another friend group that not only drank but did other drugs. She felt like she needed to join in in spite of feeling apprehensive. Cocaine and alcohol went hand in hand for Lacey. She had to have alcohol to deal with the downside of the drugs.   In her 20’s, Lacey started identifying as a partier. She loved being able to drink and stay up all night and she wore it like a badge of honor. Lacey started doing more drugs because they helped her keep drinking.   After some time, Lacey started trying to moderate and find the right balance of the drugs and alcohol, but always ended up failing. She feels she had the dueling personalities during this time. Her mornings were full of anxiety from all of the behavior from the day before.   When Lacey started having health issues that the doctors couldn’t determine the cause of, she came to the realization that her substance abuse may be a contributing factor. In denial, Lacey continued partying even harder until she hit her breaking point and realized that she needed to stop for good.   It was not “one and done” for Lacey. She drank on vacation and then when she came home, she decided to join Café RE if she could make it 30 days. She struggled to embrace sobriety. She started feeling better after six months but thought she could handle drinking again. She then used Covid as an excuse to keep drinking and ended up back where she started. The day after she quit, she got an accountability partner who has become her best friend.   In recovery, Lacey is finding more time to do things that she used to love. Her friend group has changed, and she is ok with that.   Lacey’s favorite resources in recovery: her accountability person, Marco Polo and connection.   The best advice Lacey has received: if you are researching whether or not you have a drinking problem, you do but it’s not a death sentence. It’s ok, embrace it, it will be so worth it.     Cafe RE  Use the promo code OPPORTUNITY to waive the set-up fee Recovery Elevator YouTube Sobriety Tracker iTunes    You’re the only that can do this RE, but you don’t have to do it alone. I love you guys.        
6/26/202357 minutes, 15 seconds
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RE 435: What We Believe In

Episode 434 – Season 5 – What We Believe In   Today we have Alex, he is 35, from Lincoln, NE and took his last drink on January 20, 2023   Recovery Elevator welcomes our newest sponsor, Athletic Greens.   [03:35] Highlights from Paul:   Welcome to Season 5!  Episode 1 of this podcast dropped on February 25th, 2015. Paul recalls the date and how he felt.  He was worried he was going to crash and burn.  But 10,000,000 downloads later, he still hasn’t had a drink and the podcast is still going.   Paul discusses the plan for Season 5, what RE’s concepts and values are, the podcast schedule and more.   Mission Statement of Recovery Elevator is as follows:   "We offer hope through community and connection. Partnering sobriety seeking individuals with other likeminded people!”   Six themes Paul and Kris will be focusing on this season:   1)    Recovery Elevator is inclusive 2)    There is no right or wrong way to do this 3)    Connection 4)    Don’t just quit drinking 5)    We cannot fight an addiction 6)    We must pass along what we’ve learned to others   Better Help:  www.betterhelp.com/elevator - 10% off your first month. #sponsored   [10:49] Paul introduces Alex:   Alex is 35 and lives in Lincoln, NE. He is married with three kids. He stays busy with his family, enjoys landscaping at their new home and works in the financial industry.   Alex first tried alcohol in his senior year of high school. He initially did not drink with his friends, but eventually gave it a try. He started going to parties and enjoyed the assistance alcohol gave him socially. He didn’t drink very regularly but when he did drink, he drank heavily. He did have a close call when getting pulled over once, but the officer called his parents instead of charging him with driving under the influence.   Alex joined a fraternity in college and says his drinking escalated at that point but was not out of control. He was still able to do well academically. After college he moved to Chicago, and he used drinking as a way to make friends. He was attending grad school and was drinking heavily but still highly functional.   He first started questioning his drinking when his brother was going through some issues with substance abuse. He says he was blacking out at least twice a week but wasn’t sure if he had a problem. This is when Alex first tried moderation that he says worked for a while, but the rules became softer over time.   The first time Alex recognized that his drinking might be an issue was when his wife went into labor with their second child, and he had been drinking so he was unable to drive her to the hospital. Over time he realized that he was not fully present for his children, and he didn’t time to pass and realize that he had drank their childhood away.   After Alex had around 50 days of sobriety and went back to drinking, he realized how much better he felt sober and realized that is what he wanted. That paired with wanting to be a better parent helped him focus on trying sobriety again.   Alex took his first step by going to an online AA meeting just to listen. It was there that he realized that seeking sobriety wasn’t something to be afraid of. He drank that night but burned the ships with his family telling them that his life of sobriety would be starting the next day.   The first few days found Alex excited for sobriety. Within a short period of time, he found his sleep improving, started getting compliments at work, and was generally feeling better. Since quitting drinking Alex feels that his emotions have leveled out and life is no longer on “hard mode”.   Alex’s favorite resources in recovery: quit lit, Reddit, realizing that he is not alone.   Alex’s parting piece of guidance: if you’re not successful the first time, you are definitely going to learn on each attempt of sobriety so keep at it.     Cafe RE  Use the promo code OPPORTUNITY to waive the set-up fee Recovery Elevator YouTube Sobriety Tracker iTunes    Recovery Elevator Go big, because eventually we all go home. I love you guys.        
6/19/202350 minutes, 44 seconds
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RE 434: Don't Lose Yourself In It

Episode 434 – Don’t Lose Yourself in It   Today we have Gary, he is 44, from Toledo, OH and took his last drink on January 30, 2023   Exact Nature: https://exactnature.com/RE20   [01:42] Thoughts from Paul:   Today we are going to cover one of Paul’s favorite tools and practice.  But before we cover it, he asks us who is our go to person that we look to when life starts to veer into the ditch? Who has already provided guidance or a teaching on what to do in the situation you find yourself in?   For Paul, it is Eckhart Tolle. His books The Power of Now and A New Earth were recommended to him at just the right time.   The tool and concept Paul wants to cover is a line he discovered in A New Earth that says, “don’t lose yourself in it”. This refers to the thinking mind, or the ego.    Another book The Untethered Soul by Michael Singer shares the concept that you are not the thoughts in your mind, but you are the one who experiences them.   The point is don’t lose yourself in the incessant stream of thoughts coming from the thinking mind. Make a point each day to STOP what you are doing and take a deep breath. This practice doesn’t have to take long, but there may not be enough consciousness at first to split from the thoughts in the head. The point is to create as many daily gaps in your thinking as possible.   Better Help:  www.betterhelp.com/elevator - 10% off your first month. #sponsored   [09:25] Kris introduces Gary:   Gary took his last drink on January 31st, 2023. He is 44 and lives in Toledo, OH. Professionally Gary is a medical assistant for primarily homebound patients. He enjoys reading, has recently started fishing and likes to try new things in sobriety.   Gary’s first experience with alcohol was in his early teen years. He and his cousin crashed a wedding with an open bar where they served him beer. He thought it was disgusting but kept drinking and blacked out the first time. Gary didn’t drink in high school. He graduated and met his future wife who was going to the army. He joined as well and was in Germany when he started drinking regularly. Drinking helped with his insecurities, and he was always searching for validation. After his wife cheated on him, life was tough for Gary. He started drinking heavily to deal with the pain surrounding the changes in his life. Gary didn’t have a lot of consequences from his drinking. When he got out of the army and came home, he found another relationship and they had a daughter together. He was able to cut back on his drinking and started putting parameters around what and when he would drink. He found moderation exhausting.   Gary’s dad started having health issues, developed a rare form of cancer and passed within a year of diagnosis. His drinking ramped back up as he dealt with the grief. Gary’s drinking ended up contributing to the loss of a job. He tried his best to continue to be a good father but struggled with being emotionally present for his daughter.   After losing his job Gary found himself going into inpatient treatment, which is where his journey began. He had some stints of extended sobriety. He started going to AA meetings but had a hard time being social at first. He discovered podcasts which were helpful for him; he found listening to them was giving him strength. He was able to experience periods of sobriety but felt that his addiction was still sabotaging him at that time.   Gary had several instances of his drinking sending him into the hospital. He feels like this was his rock bottom. He realized he needed to be honest with himself and was able to stay sober for over two years. He started getting involved with the RE community which was very helpful for him. Changes in routine found Gary learning to love himself.   Gary’s favorite tools - recovery books, podcasts, Café RE, therapy, and Antibuse.   Cafe RE  Use the promo code OPPORTUNITY to waive the set-up fee Recovery Elevator YouTube   Recovery Elevator You’re the only ones that can do this, but you don’t have to do it alone I love you guys
6/12/20231 hour, 4 minutes, 1 second
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RE 433: The Comfort Crisis

Episode 433 – The Comfort Crisis   Today we have Daniel, he is 43 from Orange County, he took his last drink on December 31st, 2014.   Exact Nature: https://exactnature.com/RE20   [01:42] Thoughts from Paul:   The discomforts of quitting drinking will make you a stronger person down the road. And not far down the road.   Although humans are hardwired to seek comfort, it’s not necessarily good for us. Many anthropologists have speculated that we were happier thousands of years ago. Our needs were simpler and easier to satisfy. We were naturally mindful, living in the moment. In addition, our ancestors usually found themselves in tight communities of around 150 people, where everyone shared the burden of survival. There was a deeper sense of belonging.   The Comfort Crisis by Michael Easter   The rates of mental health, addiction, inflammations, cancers, are sky rocketing, and the author of the book says the reason for this is because we are living progressively sheltered, sterile, temperature controlled, over-fed, under challenged, safety netted lives.   Key takeaway? Get uncomfortable. It’s good for you. And spending significant time in nature will make you happier.   Better Help:  www.betterhelp.com/elevator - 10% off your first month. #sponsored   [09:01] Paul introduces Daniel:   Daniel had his last drink on New Year’s Eve of 2014. He lives in Southern California; he’s married with three children. He owns a few businesses and works in education. For fun Daniel likes to play tennis, work in his yard and enjoys Wim Hof breathwork. Daniel enjoys getting out of his comfort zone and trying new things frequently.   At age 16 Daniel had his first drink and instantly felt the pull. He didn’t start using it habitually until he was in college, and it helped with his social anxiety and gave him confidence. He says the red flags came early and often but he didn’t have a classic rock bottom moment. He feels he was very high functioning – did well in school and had a job. His drinking didn’t change after he left college. He began questioning his drinking about four years prior to quitting because he had learned he and his wife were about to have a child. For a long time, Daniel was unwilling to give up drinking and he would have times of attempting moderation and then abandoning that to hiding bottles of alcohol throughout his house before going back to moderation again. He thought having a child would help him make changes, but it did not.   Good things were happening with Daniels home life and career, but the drinking was still there. He was having issues with anxiety and depression that he attempted to treat but the alcohol negated his efforts.   Daniel’s quit date wasn’t planned as he was still in denial about how serious his drinking had become. The day after his last drink he had some hallucinations that scared him.   He finally met with a doctor and decided to lay it all out and asked for help. He initially thought it would be only for 30 days, but he ended up going for another month and so on.   Daniel still had a lot of shame surrounding his initial recovery and was isolated for about six months. He says that he found a lot of peace getting away from all the anxiety and started feeling more comfortable about his choice to get sober. He recently started using Tik-Tok and started a podcast which he has found very cathartic for his recovery.   Daniel’s favorite resources in recovery: Calm app, Wim Hof app, Tik-Tok   Daniel’s parting piece of guidance: Be less concerned about HOW people recover and more concerned THAT people recover.   Daniel’s podcast - Sobriety Uncensored   [42:25] Closing thoughts:   In our Café RE chats we start with an Icebreaker Question.  I asked the group “when you’re stressed or triggered what helps you?”  The most common answer was “get outside”.   Cafe RE  Use the promo code OPPORTUNITY to waive the set-up fee Recovery Elevator YouTube Sobriety Tracker iTunes    Recovery Elevator I love you guys. It all starts from the inside out. We can do this.
6/5/202344 minutes, 45 seconds
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RE 432: Is Alcohol Good for You?

Episode 432 – Is Alcohol Good For You?   Today we have Julie, she is 49, from Grand Junction, CO and took her last drink on February 6th, 2022.   Café RE members, we have added a fitness class to the schedule. Sundays at 12:30 EST, thank you Paul L.   Exact Nature: https://exactnature.com/RE20   [02:05] Thoughts from Paul:   For most of the 20th century and well into the 2000’s, there was a pushed narrative that said a daily drink or two is good for you.  Although there was a time that fermented drinks were safer than consuming the local water due to disease, it’s safe to say we are well past those days from the dark ages.  Despite that, the concept that alcohol is good for you is still in popular circulation, but a new narrative is coming out.   An article from Health Day released this year is titled Drinking Alcohol Brings No Health Benefits, Study Finds   Huberman Lab podcast:  What Alcohol Does to Your Body, Brain & Health   You’re giving up alcohol, which turns out is NOT good for you anyways, for a life that contains the possibilities of nearly everything. Sobriety can be hard, and sometimes we need a sweeping statement to put it into perspective. You’re giving up one thing for everything. You can do this. I know you can.   Cafe RE  Use the promo code OPPORTUNITY to waive the set-up fee   [10:34] Kris introduces Julie:   Julie lives in Grand Junction, CO. She is a nurse practitioner soon to be working at an addiction center. She has two grown daughters and her parents and brother live nearby. She is single and for fun she enjoys yoga, and she plays the ukulele and the flute.   Julie feels she was born into addiction. Her parents were both alcoholics and a lot of her family members have struggled with addiction as well. Her mother left when she was very young, and her family moved a lot due to her father’s instability.   Julie first tried alcohol when she was 12 at a barbecue at her mom’s house. She and some friends stole some alcohol and went into the basement and drank. Alcohol helped her feel like she was connected to a group, and she lived up to the party girl persona as a way to feel accepted.   In her mid-teens, Julie’s parents decided to send her away to a Baptist school. This was Julie’s first experience of feeling like she was part of a family, and she was able to stay out of trouble there.   Soon after Julie returned home, she started drinking again. She married her high school sweetheart, and they had her first daughter together. When the marriage ended, she thought she needed to be in a relationship to have the perfect life and got married again where she had her second daughter. She was going to college and attending church to uphold the image of the perfect life.   After her children moved out and she and her husband became empty nesters, Julie’s drinking ramped up. She had a lot of freedom with her job which found her drinking more and more. She was worried what her husband thought so she was hiding her alcohol throughout the house. Julie began questioning her drinking and read This Naked Mind by Annie Grace. She was able to quit drinking for about 60 days. Even though she started drinking again, Julie feels that something changes.   Julie separated from her husband and found herself drinking and isolating. She quickly realized she needed help. She started going to AA and was able to stay sober for over three years, but gradually stopped doing the work. She started thinking she could be a normal drinker and that she didn’t have a problem. It didn’t take long for Julie to end up back to isolating and binge drinking. Her final binge at a hotel when a flight was cancelled found her realizing she had to stop again.   Julie found the RE podcast and shortly after went back to AA. Podcasts, online meetings, travelling, and yoga are some of Julie’s favorite tools. Connection within a sober community is very important to her.   Recovery Elevator YouTube Sobriety Tracker iTunes    Recovery Elevator The only way out is through. I love you guys.
5/29/20231 hour, 1 minute, 50 seconds
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RE 431: Transformation

Episode 431 – Transformation   Today we have Katy, she is 40, from Olympia, WA and took her last drink on February 12th, 2023.   Join Recovery Elevator this Sunday for a fun conference style meet up at the Marriott in Alpharetta.  This event is all about getting your connect on and it will be a fun time.  Spouses or loved ones are encouraged to attend and you can even stick around afterwards for some silent disco.   Exact Nature: https://exactnature.com/RE20   [02:26] Thoughts from Paul:   One of the best parts of doing the Recovery Elevator podcast is seeing the transformations people make.  Many of the travelers on this year’s Costa Rica trip also traveled last year. With every single repeat traveler, Paul could see the growth almost immediately. There are many different reasons for the transformations, but it is always visible in the smile.   Paul wants to make a correction from a previous episode where he said that Goat Yoga was a horrible idea. Incorporating animals in our healing can be a great thing. One reason for this is the nervous systems of animals are much more intact, and with entrainment theory in biology, our nervous systems can heal while being around animals. Also, goats are hilarious. They are all about having fun and if you come near enough to them, they will make you part of the fun.   In the interview with Katy, Paul references a previous episode covering Natlrexone. That is episode 164 if you wish to go back and listen.   Better Help:  www.betterhelp.com/elevator - 10% off your first month. #sponsored   [08:06] Paul introduces Katy:   Katy is 40 years old and took her last drink on February 12, 2023. She is from Olympia WA, married and they have two kids and a dog.  Katy works in elementary education and for fun she likes to hike, read and listen to podcasts.   Katy first started drinking at a young age, but it wasn’t until she was in her late teens that she started having consequences like hangovers and blackouts. She went on to a college that had a reputation for being a party school and she fell right into the scene.   Katy feels her twenties were stolen by an abusive relationship where the focus was on a party lifestyle. She had started drinking and driving, getting herself into debt, and struggled to hold down a job. The consequences of her drinking really started to escalate including a DUI that she got during a blackout.   In her thirties, she continued to work in bars and blackout frequently.  When she tried quitting on her own, she had some physical withdrawals and she decided to go to rehab. After around four months she decided to leave and started drinking immediately believing that she would be able to control it.  Before long she was back where she was with her drinking and had a mental health scare that found her seeking help once again.   Her family was very supportive, and Katy was able to make positive changes in her life including having children and getting her master’s in education. She was able to stay sober through her pregnancies but would start drinking shortly after.   Katy was prescribed naltrexone which helped her stop drinking and start working on herself. On her doctor’s advice she started attending sobriety groups in addition to the medication. She prefers SMART recovery over AA but believes connection is important.   Exercise is important to Katy’s sobriety in addition to podcasts and reading. She looks for the good things in day-to-day life as well as in nature which help her feel gratitude. She uses some exercises to help with her anxiety that help her to surround herself in “now”. She enjoys music where she can connect to the lyrics.   Bucket list for Katy is to love her life and feel emotions.   [47:27] In closing, Paul shares another installment of “You Can Be Right, Or You Can Have Peace”.     Cafe RE  Use the promo code OPPORTUNITY to waive the set-up fee. Recovery Elevator YouTube Sobriety Tracker iTunes    Recovery Elevator It all starts from the inside out. I love you guys.
5/22/202350 minutes, 6 seconds
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RE 430: Walking Into Summer

Episode 430 – Walking Into Summer   Today we have Joss, she’s 34 from the Bay Area and took her last drink on December 21st, 2022.   We still have room in our upcoming flagship retreat which takes place August 9th through the 13th in Bozeman, Montana.  This event is all about having fun, connecting, and learning the tools needed to be successful on your Alcohol-Free journey. You can find more information here!   [02:21] Thoughts from Kris:   Spring has finally arrived in North Dakota!   With the changing seasons, it’s not uncommon to experience some different emotions surrounding our recovery. More outdoor social activities and parties can bring some unique challenges.   We sometimes worry what others might think about us and our choice not to drink. The phrasing “I care what people think of me” makes me feel a bit middle-schoolish, but humans long for connection and community. We are not really fearing the event so much as fearing that we don’t belong. Creating accountability with people we trust can help us navigate these times, and sometimes just passing on the event may be what we need to do for the time being.   Stay tuned for more tips gathered from our members at Café RE after the interview!   Better Help:  www.betterhelp.com/elevator - 10% off your first month. #sponsored   [09:45] Kris introduces Joss:   Joss is 34 and lives in the Bay Area. She has two cats, is a hairstylist and enjoys running. She recently celebrated three months alcohol free.   Joss grew up in a very strict and sheltered Christian household. Her parents were very active in the church, and they spent a lot of time there and went to a private school. Joss first tried alcohol when she was 14 and her drinking increased a lot in high school. She battled with depression and never felt validated by her family, and they just pushed her toward God and church without giving her much opportunity to explore anything else. She jumped around schools a few times due to suspensions and expulsions.   She didn’t consider her high school years as being rebellious but more as a time to explore things outside of the sheltered life she was raised in. She really enjoyed music and started a band in high school.   Joss moved to New York after her mother suddenly passed away and says that time was when things got out of control. She reflects that a lot of the things she did while drinking too much could have ended very badly. Joss was dating someone who also drank heavily, so it quickly was their lifestyle. Eventually she grew tired of life in New York, broke up with her partner and moved back to the Bay Area where she continued to drink.   Dealing with the death of her mother was hard on Joss. She got settled into a friend group after moving home and they all partied a lot. She was working in the restaurant industry and found herself drinking before and after her shifts and progressed even more during the pandemic. During that time, she was starting to listen to podcasts and become sober-curious. After a particularly bad morning-after from drinking too much, she realized that enough was enough.    The first month of quitting found Joss staying sober through multiple triggering events. Her advice to others is if you feel like there is an event or reason that you don’t think you can quit drinking now – there will always be a reason to wait. Instead of waiting – just go for it!   Since quitting, Joss enjoyed going to AA and having that community. She has also found some groups online that she enjoys. She finds that stocking her fridge with alcohol-free drinks, sharing her intentions with her friends and leaning into comfort of all kinds is the key to her success. For Joss, all her relationships have improved, especially the relationship with herself.   Cafe RE  Use the promo code OPPORTUNITY to waive the set-up fee. Recovery Elevator YouTube Sobriety Tracker iTunes    Recovery Elevator You’re the only one that can do this RE But you don’t have to do it alone I love you guys.    
5/15/202356 minutes, 30 seconds
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RE 429: The Connection Between Alcohol and Anxiety

Episode 429 – The Connection Between Alcohol and Anxiety   Today we have Dale, he is 55, from Roanoke, VA and he has been alcohol free since March 23, 2019   Exact Nature: https://exactnature.com/RE20   [02:34] Paul’s thoughts:   Paul knows now that there is a connection between his drinking and his anxiety but while actively drinking, he could not. We are told that alcohol relaxes us – which it does by shutting down important parts of our brain.   According to Dr. Sheila Shilati,"Alcohol ultimately replaces those important chemicals like dopamine and serotonin in the brain, which mitigate anxiety, therefore, in episodes where you are not drinking, then your brain is searching for those all-important 'feel-good' connections, which become diminished because the supply has been mitigated,"   We hear a lot about “self-medicating” in recovery. Which isn’t a bad thing, but when we rely too much on this strategy, it stops working. This becomes an even bigger problem because we don’t realize it so we just drink more and now our coping strategy is becoming the reason we can’t cope.   Paul shares in episode 417, this is the best place you can be because the tipping point isn’t far off in the distance.   Better Help:  www.betterhelp.com/elevator - 10% off your first month. #sponsored   [10:48] Paul introduces Dale:   Dale is 55, lives in southwest Virginia, has been married for 25 years with no children. He works for a shipping company and also owns and manages rental property. Dale enjoys music of all varieties, loves reading and learning and also enjoys gardening.   Dale’s first experiences with alcohol came from his parents using it to medicate him as a child. He worked in the hospitality industry in his late teens and early twenties and drinking was a glorified part of the lifestyle. His tolerance grew and he became a daily drinker throughout that time.   The recent years found Dale questioning his drinking and realizing he wasn’t living life within his values. He had sneakily drunk some of his wife’s special whiskey which prompted an angry text to Dale. He used this message as motivation and although he was not able to quit right away Dale feels this was the start of his recovery.   Dale has found self-awareness to be a catalyst to helping him stop drinking. He has utilized Recovery Elevator and the Café RE community as a large part of his journey. It was a scary first step for him, but he found getting out of his comfort zone to be very helpful. He has made many friends that have helped him move forward and be strong in his sobriety. Focusing on the good has been an important tool for Dale, specifically in the early days. As he closed in on a year, he felt the veil had been lifted and he was seeing the world differently.   Year two for Dale was unpacking everything that led him to drink so much in the first place. He feels that was the mucky part of the journey and it is a process to unpack it.   Year three Dale feels that learning to let go of control was a big thing. Learning that life is going to happen, and he didn’t have to cling so tightly to everything. He finds that the service work he does in the community has helped him deal with life as it happens while approaching the four-year milestone.   Dale feels that success comes by building the wall one brick at a time, stepping outside of the comfort zone and being willing to learn. He also feels that service work helps strengthen us and keep us connected to our foundation.    [53:36] Closing thoughts:   Paul’s tips for dealing with anxiety without alcohol:   Perception – anxiety pangs are messengers. Your body is sending you signals that something is off balance. Tell your body this will pass and will soften with each passing day or month.   Get the body moving to cue the release of endorphins whose purpose is to mask physical and emotional pain.   Cafe RE  Use the promo code OPPORTUNITY to waive the set-up fee Recovery Elevator YouTube Sobriety Tracker iTunes    Recovery Elevator It all starts from the inside out. I love you guys
5/8/202356 minutes, 10 seconds
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RE 428: Do I have a Drinking Problem?

Episode 428 – Do I have a Drinking Problem?   Today we have Lauren, she is 54 from Rochester NY, and took her last drink on November 19, 2022.   Shout out to Ty with 15 YEARS alcohol free!  Thank you for all you do for RE!   Shout out to Bradley from south Denver with 3 days alcohol free!  Great job!   Café RE is a private online unsearchable recovery community. Get accountable and be the best version of you. Together is always better!  Use promo code OPPORTUNITY to waive the setup fee.   [03:23] Intro summary:   In the past Paul has talked about the worst  place a person can be with a drinking problem is in limbo (episode 417). But how do we find out if we actually have a problem so we can get out of that space?   There is a test listed in the DSM-5 to determine if we have a drinking problem or not. There are 11 questions, and you must meet two of them within the past 12 months to have what is called Alcohol Use Disorder. It’s not hard to determine if you have a drinking problem based on that test.   But at the end of the day, it can be as simple as if you question if you have a drinking problem, you just answered your own question.   Better Help:  www.betterhelp.com/elevator - 10% off your first month. #sponsored   [12:36] Kris introduces Lauren:   Lauren has been sober almost 4 months at the time of recording. She lives in Rochester New York, she is married, has two adult children, one granddaughter, has pets and owns her own business helping the elderly. She enjoys time outside, crafting (currently diamond painting), reading and learning new things.   Lauren was always fascinated with alcohol, but it wasn’t prevalent in her immediate family. When she was 16, she was able to purchase alcohol for her and her friends. She had a lot of fun and thought it was cool. She chose the college based on their drinking culture; she drank heavily but still did well in school. After college she got married, had two kids and a successful job. She drank the same as other parents around her, so she felt that was normal. She was able to abstain when she had her children and feels her drinking was more or less recreational for a long time.       Over the years Lauren hadn’t really tried to quit drinking. She would make a halfhearted attempt at Dry January, but it didn’t last. She didn’t think it had anything to do with being addicted. She feels that everyone else saw signs that her drinking was a problem, but she wasn’t aware of it.   After going on a very long-awaited vacation in 2022, Lauren says she had a hard time coming back to regular life and the stressors were magnified. Soon after, she drunkenly alienated a friend on Facebook, and it really impacted her when the friendship ended. She started drinking to escape everything that was bothering her. Lauren had a scare during her third blackout in eight days and decided to go to the doctor where she told them everything. She was sent to an outpatient program to start the next day.   She has found a lot of tools and inspiration through the outpatient program. Lauren says AA didn’t resonate with her, but she does do SMART recovery online which she enjoys. Connecting with others has been a great resource for Lauren as well. She views her drinking and recovery as just part of her, she doesn’t feel it defines her. Lauren recognizes that she is happier and communicate better with her husband. Her family is relieved and proud of her for going into recovery.   [57:20] Outro:   Spring is here! And with seasonal changes come new challenges. Kris feels that it is a chance for him to make sure he has his accountability in place and has a plan when it comes to spring and more outdoor events. Don’t stress about upcoming events, simply be aware of what is out there. Set yourself up to enjoy the weather and reach your alcohol-free goals.   Recovery Elevator YouTube Sobriety Tracker iTunes    Recovery Elevator We’re the only ones that can do this, but we don’t have to do it alone. I love you guys.
5/1/202359 minutes, 58 seconds
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RE 427: But a Symptom

Episode 427 – But a Symptom   Today we have Ian, he is 24, from Baltimore, MD and he has been alcohol free since December 26, 2022.   What are you doing for Memorial Day?  You should join Recovery Elevator in Atlanta! We have an event for Café RE members on Saturday and then Sunday night we have a conference style event that everyone is invited to attend. Information about the Sunday night event can be found here. Café RE members can get more information through the members website if they are interested in the weekend event.   Exact Nature: https://exactnature.com/RE20   [02:15] Thoughts from Paul:   If alcohol isn’t the primary problem, and it’s a symptom of something else, what does that mean, and what course of action do we take? None of us are able to correct the unrest in our lives when alcohol is present. That’s why moderate drinking for the problematic drinker doesn’t work either.   For Paul, after he ditched the booze, he recognized that his nervous system needed healing and found that nature was a great help with addressing that. Everyone is different and their sources of unrest that need addressing will be different but first, the alcohol needs to go and then the healing can begin. We get one life, and your addiction is about to springboard you towards your authentic self – if you are willing. You may be asking yourself “am I willing?”…If you are listening to this podcast, the answer is yes.   Better Help:  www.betterhelp.com/elevator - 10% off your first month. #sponsored   [10:47] Paul introduces Ian:   Ian took his last drink on Christmas Day of 2022. He lives in Baltimore and is a recent college grad. In his free time, he fosters senior dogs and plays music. He finds taking care of animals at the end of their lives to be very rewarding and helpful in his recovery.   Ian wasn’t exposed to alcohol until he was in college. He was in his junior year when he started drinking and smoking pot. He had roommates that were drinking like he was at parties and on the weekends, but Ian was starting to be sneaky and would purchase his own alcohol separate from the alcohol that was present in the house and didn’t want anyone to know how much he was actually drinking. The blackouts started becoming more and more frequent.   When he was 20, he started planning his entire days around drinking and smoking. Work and school became minor activities and drinking was priority. Throughout all of this Ian was still successful so he didn’t see his drinking as a problem.   Early 2020 Ian experienced withdrawal for the first time and it scared him. He initially didn’t realize what it was and was scared he was going to die. For the first time, he acknowledged his drinking had become an issue.   After several trips to the ER, he ended up speaking with a peer counselor who helped him get involved with an Intensive Outpatient Program. Ian was able to get sober for two months but was ashamed of what he was doing and ended up leaving. He relapsed and had a bad Christmas with his family. He has learned that it is more embarrassing to have a drinking problem than it is to work on getting sober.   Ian says being transparent with people was the game changer for him. Letting everyone know that he is sober helps him stay accountable.   Being a young person in sobriety can feel a little lonely Ian says. Our culture normalizes drinking in our twenties and it’s hard to connect with others in recovery because most people are older. In spite of the feelings of missing out or “why me” thinking, Ian knows that this is the right choice for him.   Ian is looking forward to achieving newfound career goals, being a better dog dad and someday having a family. He is excited to fully find his confidence and be the best version of himself he can possibly be.   Cafe RE  Use the promo code OPPORTUNITY to waive the set-up fee. Recovery Elevator YouTube Sobriety Tracker iTunes    Recovery Elevator We took the elevator down; we have to take the stairs back up I love you guys And don’t forget that we definitely can do this
4/24/202347 minutes, 50 seconds
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RE 426: It Gets Easier

Episode 426 – It Gets Easier   Today we have Jeffrey, he is 35, from Monument, CO and he took his last drink on July 23, 2022.   Registration is open for our flagship annual retreat held in Bozeman, Montana, this upcoming August 9th – 13th.  This event is all about having fun, connecting, and learning the tools needed to be successful on your Alcohol-Free journey. You can find more information here!   [02:16] Thoughts from Paul:   Paul shares that he recently attended an AA meeting where a member celebrated 40 years of sobriety. One thing he took away from this is that it will naturally get easier the more time away from alcohol you have and the more life experience you get. It is also helpful to focus not on the destination, but the journey itself.   There is a YouTube channel that Paul watches where the host, Michael, showcases some of the most scenic railways in the world. Michael also shares similar views about the destination vs. the journey. Here is the link to one of his videos documenting the scenic Amtrak train route from Denver to Winter Park Ski Resort.   When we realize that hard days are a part of life, and that hard days are a part of an alcohol-free life, things get easier. With each conscious breath we take, things get easier. If you are struggling, on day one or day zero, Paul’s message to you is that this journey will get easier if we embrace it and we don’t do it alone.   Better Help:  www.betterhelp.com/elevator - 10% off your first month. #sponsored   [09:38] Kris introduces Jeffrey:   Jeffrey is 35 from Monument, CO, he does apartment maintenance for a living, he is single and has one dog and two cats. For fun, he plays Magic the Gathering and is trying to get back into reading, specifically mental health and self-help type material.   Jeffrey was a loner growing up, but his sister’s social network became his as well. In high school, they would invite him to parties where there was lots of heavy drinking. It was a weekly event for him and his friends to scrape up money to have an older friend purchase 40’s for them to drink.   He went into the job corps program when he was 20. He wasn’t allowed to drink, and he went nearly a year without alcohol and didn’t really feel it was a loss. When he came back home from that he picked drinking back up and was drinking daily but didn’t feel it was excessive. Jeffrey was questioning his drinking and was able to quit again for another year but realizes now he didn’t have the recovery mindset, he was just doing it because he felt it was a spiritual issue.   At that point he felt he had had enough of a break and could allow himself to drink again. Aside from a few isolated negative events, Jeffrey was able to drink without much consequence for quite a while.   Jeffrey’s drinking started to escalate and saw him shifting from social drinking to eventually needing it in order to feel normal. He says that drinking was part of the culture at the hotel job that he had. Once he started a new career, he knew he needed to stop the daytime drinking. That lasted some time, but eventually the anxiety became out of control to where Jeffrey had to use alcohol to help him feel normal and function. After his family left him, he was really spiraling out.   One Saturday morning he woke up to some family members coming into his home. They had organized an intervention and had everything set up for him to be able to go to rehab. He agreed to just go and says it changed everything for him.   He committed to 30 days but stayed longer. Jeffrey feels that he gained a lot of skills for recovery and life through DBT and CBT treatment. The focus on core beliefs really helped him.   Since getting in recovery, he is healing his relationships and making friends. Jeffrey feels that living is possible for him now.     Cafe RE  Use the promo code OPPORTUNITY to waive the set-up fee. Recovery Elevator YouTube Sobriety Tracker iTunes    Recovery Elevator The only way out is through I love you guys
4/17/202357 minutes, 42 seconds
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RE 425: What Recovery Pathway is Right for Me?

Episode 425 – What Recovery Pathway is Right for Me?   Today we have Doug. He is 59, from Buena Vista, CO and he took his last drink on July 28, 1982.   Join Recovery Elevator in Atlanta over Memorial Day weekend for a fun conference style meet up at the Marriott in Alpharetta.  This event is all about getting your connect on and it will be a fun time.  Spouses or loved ones are encouraged to attend the Sunday night event and Silent Disco afterwards!   [2:30] Thoughts from Paul:   When building your recovery portfolio, a good goal is 50% external and 50% internal. At first, the internal work may be too big of an ask, but as your nervous system settles down, you want to aim for a balanced split. Here are some quick examples of what I mean when I say external vs internal:   External: Driving to an AA meeting, or hopping on a Café RE zoom chat Phoning a sober friend Working with a sponsor   Internal: Meditation Journaling Reading Quit-Lit   When building out your recovery I recommend this 5-tiered approach: 1. Community – AA, SMART, Café RE, therapy, sober friends. Burn the Ships! 2. Action/Movement – Chemicals of wellbeing, endorphins, dopamine, and serotonin are released when we move.   3. Inner Peace – Meditation, breathwork, creative ventures, writing, time in nature. 4. Knowledge – Podcasts, Quit-Lit, learning about new things in and out of recovery. 5. Universe – This is not religion, but it is the spiritual component of recovery.   Better Help:  www.betterhelp.com/elevator - 10% off your first month. #sponsored           [11:55] Paul introduces Doug:   Doug had his last drink on July 28th, 1982, when he was 19 years old. He lives in Buena Vista, CO and is married and they have two adult children. He has worked in upholstery, cabinet building and installations, and has built some houses with his son. He enjoys the mountains, biking and riding his motorcycle.   Doug grew up in a normal family and wasn’t exposed to heavy drinking. His first experience with alcohol was when he was 4 years old when he remembers having a few sips of his mother’s drink. He felt the warm glow and really liked it. Later when he was 12, a friend of his stole a bottle of liquor from his parents and while his friends were mixing it with soft drinks, Doug drank straight from the bottle. He felt something click – suddenly, he felt normal, and like everyone else.   When Doug was 16 his mother passed away and the drinking escalated and continued to be excessive after graduation. Some friends invited him to Alateen meetings, and he started attending weekly. Once a month AA members would come in and share their stories. He started identifying with some of the stories which got him to start question his drinking. He realized that he was becoming less like the person that he wanted to be.   When one of his former drinking friends disappeared from the meetings, he found out that they were working on sobriety with AA. That friend was a speaker at one of the meetings, and Doug noticed that they looked healthy and at peace. He chose to speak to him afterwards and expressed an interest in possibly attending AA but wasn’t quite ready for it.   Doug finally accepted the invitations to attend and was planning to go to a meeting on July 29th. The night before he found himself drinking and when he saw himself in a mirror started asking himself why he was drinking. He didn’t have a good answer for that.   AA has been a big tool for Doug, along with volunteer work. He knows that if he had continued drinking, he would not have had the life he has. He believes in counting blessings, finding things to be grateful for and putting sobriety before everything else.   Cafe RE  Use the promo code OPPORTUNITY to waive the set-up fee. Recovery Elevator YouTube Sobriety Tracker iTunes    Recovery Elevator Go big, because eventually we all go home I love you guys
4/10/202353 minutes, 58 seconds
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RE 424: Caring for You

Episode 424 – Caring for You   Today we have Abby. She is 49, from Phoenix, AZ, and took her last drink on 9/25/2020.   Join Recovery Elevator in Atlanta over Memorial Day weekend for a fun conference style event at the Marriott in Alpharetta. Spouses or loved ones are encouraged to attend the event on Sunday. Registration is open please click the link for more information.   We have registration for the annual Bozeman Retreat opening on April 3rd. The retreat is scheduled for August 9th – 13th.    Better Help:  www.betterhelp.com/elevator - 10% off your first month. #sponsored   [03:23] Thoughts from Kris:   In an effort to escape the long North Dakota winter, Kris and his wife took a short vacation to Dallas. They had a fantastic time enjoying the city and the company of friends. The key takeaways Kris had are the importance of self-care and connection. He believes that most people are very resilient, and we tend to allow things to keep stacking things onto our plate to the point of overwhelm. That’s when we need to take time to slow down and take care of ourselves; how that looks is different for everyone.   [9:30] Kris introduces Abby:   Abby took her last drink on September 25, 2020.  She’s 49 and lives in Arizona. She’s single and has a young adult daughter who lives nearby. She is self employed doing online marketing for small businesses. She likes to cook, read and stay active.   She got drunk for the first time at a New Year’s Eve party when she was a young teen. She drank and smoked weed a lot through high school and college and feels fortunate that she never suffered any consequences throughout that time. At the time Abby thought drinking was just what people do in their teens and early twenties. In hindsight she knows it was numbing behavior. She never felt like she fit in, and alcohol helped her with her socializing.   After getting married to someone whose family had drug issues, she quit smoking but kept drinking. Her and her husband drank a lot together and chose wine because they thought it was more sophisticated. She didn’t drink during her pregnancy but started back soon after her daughter was born.   Shortly after having their child, she and her husband got divorced. Abby says her drinking ramped up and she started smoking again. She found herself drinking to deal with her emotions and continuing to get into unhealthy relationships. Abby feels like she drank a lot because of her insecurities and not feeling good enough or worthy of love.   Abby initially quit drinking as part of a quest to get healthy after some concerning medical test results, not with the intention of getting sober.  Her doctor had told her she needed to give up some foods, sugar and alcohol in order to heal. She quickly started feeling better so that helped her remain sober for nearly three months. Abby utilized her daughter as accountability which she feels helped a lot.   During a trip to Mexico on her birthday, she decided she was going to drink. She realized quickly that the way she drank was unhealthy. She had one last beer while out and it left her feeling awful for an entire weekend. She decided then that she was done.   When quitting she started on her own and didn’t feel like she needed any support. She started feeling like she needed connection so she joined Café RE during a Ditching the Booze course. She made a friend in that group and then started a hiking group locally. Abby has really enjoyed meeting other people in recovery at multiple meet ups. She is extremely open about the fact that she doesn’t drink and feels that helps her stay accountable.   Abby hosts a lot of chats in Café RE which she feel helps her give back to the community. She stays social with a lot of the friends that she has met there. She does enjoy NA beverages but says CONNECTION is key to her sobriety.     Cafe RE  Use the promo code OPPORTUNITY to waive the set-up fee. Recovery Elevator YouTube Sobriety Tracker iTunes    We’re the only ones that can do this, but we don’t have to do it alone. I love you guys          
4/3/202356 minutes, 29 seconds
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RE 423: Some Phoneless Fool

Episode 423 – Some Phoneless Fool   Today we have Laura. She is 45, from Boston, MA, and took her last drink on September 27, 2014.   Join Recovery Elevator in Atlanta over Memorial Day weekend for a fun conference style event at the Marriott in Alpharetta on Sunday.  This event is all about getting your connect on and it will be a fun time.  Spouses or loved ones are encouraged to attend. Registration is open please click the link for more information.   We also have registration for the annual Bozeman Retreat opening on April 3rd. The retreat is scheduled for August 9th – 13th.    Exact Nature: https://exactnature.com/RE20   [02:07] Highlights from Paul:   Paul feels that addictions are adaptations to unhealthy environments. Rates of addiction, disease, inflammations, and cancers are all on the rise. In recovery we are tasked with creating a world for ourselves and others where we feel connected, worthy, and part of the community. Recovery is not about new world exploration but restoring the circuitry we were born with. Addiction could be what forces us to come together, put our differences aside and start loving each other.   Paul thinks that it is our job in recovery to create a life for ourselves and others that doesn’t require alcohol for wholeness. He’s up for the task, how about you?   Better Help:  www.betterhelp.com/elevator - 10% off your first month. #sponsored   [6:36] Paul introduces Laura:   Laura is 45 years old, lives in Boston, has one daughter and is recently engaged. She is a writer and the founder of The Luckiest Club, an international sobriety support community. For fun she loves to read, play beach volleyball and travelling.   She first started drinking when she was 15 but didn’t drink a lot. She played sports in high school which kept her from partying and her dad got sober when she was a teenager so she had a healthy fear of alcohol. Her drinking really started when she went to college. She had a fake ID and was all in. After graduating she found herself surrounded by drinking in the workforce. Throughout her 20’s she surrounded herself with people who drank like her. There was a sense that she drank differently than others but she decided it was just something she needed to watch but not quit. She never had any serious consequences at this time in her life.   Laura feels that her drinking really increased after she became a mom. She had more anxiety, her body processed it differently, she was drinking more and it was working less. While she was pregnant, she realized how much she had relied on alcohol because she couldn’t have it. She started worrying more about her drinking at this point because she was chasing relief from the anxiety and only finding it helping for 20 minutes or less.   The year before her last drink Laura found herself suffering some consequences. She got a DUI which she brushed off as just getting a ticket when asked about it. After an event that caused her to almost lose custody of her daughter, she spent the next year actively trying to quit drinking. Her family was acutely aware of her drinking issue and were holding her accountable. She was very angry and wasn’t at the point that she accepted that the alcohol needed to go.   She tried to go to AA but didn’t enjoy it at first. She continued to drink but also kept going to meetings. She was starting to have more sober time than drinking time and was reaping the benefits. It wasn’t until she stopped making the promise to not drink and instead focused on one day at a time.   Laura started closing all her escape hatches after getting a little bit of sobriety time. She feels the most important thing about sobriety is that you cannot do it alone.   And these days, there are more and more resources out there where we don’t have to do it alone.   Laura McKowen The Luckiest Club   We are the Luckiest Push Off From Here     Cafe RE  Use the promo code OPPORTUNITY to waive the set-up fee. Recovery Elevator YouTube Sobriety Tracker iTunes    Recovery Elevator Rule 22 – Lighten Up I love you guys          
3/27/202357 minutes, 3 seconds
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RE 422: The Pursuit of Happiness

Episode 422 – The Pursuit of Happiness   Today we have Susannah. She is 42 from Hampshire, England, and took her last drink on 4/29/2022.   Join Recovery Elevator in Atlanta over Memorial Day weekend for a fun conference style event at the Marriott in Alpharetta on Sunday.  This event is all about getting your connect on and it will be a fun time.  Spouses or loved ones are encouraged to attend. Registration is open please click the link for more information.   We have partnered with Sober Link.  You can find some tips and can sign up for a $50 off promo code.   [03:09] Highlights from Paul:   Paul shares a blog post created by Odette regarding happiness in sobriety. He also shares his thoughts that sobriety does not equal happiness or solve all of our problems, but it does give us the chance to build a life where happiness knocks on the door more frequently. The school of sobriety is going to teach you the most important lessons of life. Love and acceptance. It will keep teaching you these lessons until you have accepted, that’s the lesson to learn.   Better Help:  www.betterhelp.com/elevator - 10% off your first month. #sponsored   [10:40] Kris introduces Susannah:   Susannah is about to celebrate 10 months of sobriety. She lives in the south of England; she is married, and they have three boys and two dogs. She works in luxury concierge. In her free time, she enjoys walking and is looking forward to expanding her garden this year.   Susannah grew up as the youngest of 3 kids. Her parents drank socially but she was never exposed to any kind of alcohol abuse. When she was young, she was sent to boarding school. She was exposed to alcohol when she was around 13 but had no interest in it, in fact she was very against drinking at that time. It wasn’t until she was 16 that she started socially drinking at pubs with friends, but it wasn’t an issue she feels.   Her mother died suddenly when Susannah was 22.  Her and her mother were very close, so she was feeling quite isolated and alone after this loss. A few years later Susannah was in Thailand when the tsunami hit. These events had her questioning “why me?” and she thinks that they contributed to some of her attention seeking behavior and participation in toxic relationships. She doesn’t feel that she was using drinking to cope at this point in time but was not dealing with the traumas very well.   When she was in her early thirties, she got pregnant. She found pregnancy to be very difficult for her but didn’t have trouble quitting drinking during these times. She had several medical issues happen which caused her first child to be born early which was scary for her.   After her second child her drinking started to increase. The drinking events coming more and more frequently whether they were over bad things or celebratory things.   Susannah says she was able to stop drinking for periods of time but never with the goal of quitting completely. She tried to seek help but was told she should try medication or taking vitamins. Since she functioned well on the outside no one believed she had a problem. She kept trying to moderate, but it never worked.   After a terrible hangover that had her sick at an event in her village the next day she decided to go to AA. She met the woman who is now her sponsor at that first meeting and with a hug from her, she finally felt the relief that she was in the right place.   After about four or five months of sobriety, she feels things has shifted. She has learned so much about herself and has start dealing with all of her traumas. She is better as a wife and mother and feels she performs better at work.   [01:02:31] Kris’ Outro:   The beauty of recovery are the chances that keep showing up to put the healing we have done to good work.  What’s happened in your life that you wouldn’t have expected if you were still drinking?   Connect with Cafe RE  Use the promo code OPPORTUNITY to waive the set-up fee. Recovery Elevator YouTube Sobriety Tracker iTunes    The only way out is through I love you guys  
3/20/20231 hour, 4 minutes, 51 seconds
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RE 421: Keep it Simple

Episode 421 – Keep It Simple   Today we have Stephanie. She is 44 from Georgetown, MA and took her last drink on September 6, 2020.   Recovery Elevator podcast just surpassed 10 million downloads!  Thank you to our guests, all the team members, Café RE members, and especially our listeners!   Exact Nature: https://exactnature.com/RE20   [2:49] Highlights from Paul:   In an age where almost everything plugs in, we as human beings do not. Often when we are feeling upset or triggered, one (or more than one) aspect of H.A.L.T is at play. Try and ask yourself if you are Hungry, Angry, Lonely and Tired.   Paul gives us a lot of suggestions of simple ways to address these feelings and asks the listener – how do you keep it simple?  Let us know on Monday’s post on Instagram in the comment area!   Better Help:  www.betterhelp.com/elevator - 10% off your first month. #sponsored   [10:42] Paul introduces Stephanie:   Stephanie took her last drink on September 6th, 2020. She is 44 years old, lives in Georgetown, Massachusetts. She is married and has two boys, ages 7 and 9, and two dogs. She enjoys walking and running and loves all things sci-fi.   She first started drinking when she was 15 with an 18 year old boyfriend. She was socially anxious, and drinking helped with that. There were very few consequences and she says it was at least once a weekend she drank, but never drank at home and wasn’t exposed to alcohol at home. She did well in school and followed the rules at home.   She drank in college and went out with her friends typically Thursday through Saturday but did well in school during the week. She was able to dodge some consequences, but the behavior continued. The drinking gradually began happening more frequently especially after she started dating someone and they spent a lot of time going out and drinking together.   She ended up getting married and they moved to Arizona. Their relationship was surrounded by alcohol, and it started to become obvious that they couldn’t take nights off and that was an issue. They split up and she moved back home to Boston. While she was excited for the next chapter of her life, she ended up starting to drink alone which was a red flag to her. She met her husband and they had a lot of fun together, even though they drank. Nothing serious happened, but she still felt that she was drinking too much. She was able to quit while she was pregnant and realized during the second pregnancy that she was wanting it to hurry up so she could start drinking again. Shortly after that she moved from bottles of wine to boxes.   Around the beginning of the pandemic, she told her husband that she was going to quit, but she wasn’t able to. She started hiding mini bottles and realized she started drinking earlier and earlier in the day. She was starting to have physical pains and was saddened by what she saw in the mirror.  She was feeling more and more disconnected and realized that she wanted to change this so she could connect and be more present with her children.   Due to the pain, she was having, Stephanie decided to make an appointment with her doctor and got some alarming results. She decided to come clean with her husband and let him know what’s been going on and that she was ready to quit drinking. He was very supportive which she wasn’t expecting.   Stephanie realized that she had to do things differently. Moderation had never worked in the past, so she knew that wasn’t an option this time. Three big things she did were she told the truth about her addiction, found a community whose language she really resonated with, and ensured she consistently had an hour to herself where she would listen to podcasts and walk. She is looking forward to doing some international travel sober, which she hasn’t done before, and she is excited to continue being a more present parent and partner.     Connect with Cafe RE  Use the promo code OPPORTUNITY to waive the set-up fee. Recovery Elevator YouTube   Recovery Elevator You can do this I love you guys        
3/13/202349 minutes, 38 seconds
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RE 420: The Most Prolific Trap

Episode 420 – The Most Prolific Trap   Today we have Matthew. He is 49 from Phoenix, AZ, and has been a sober rock star since 12/15/2006.   Our next Ditching the Booze course is starting Monday March 20th. It is free for Café RE members. You can learn more about the course and Café RE by clicking this link.   [03:00] Highlights from Paul:   As humans, we are prone to the trap that things will be better, or we will feel better after x, y or z happens. If we are constantly attaching happiness to accomplishments, checklists, or sobriety clocks, then eventually this surface level happiness fades and doesn't last nearly as long. Diffusing this trap is our most important task as a species at the moment. To find inner peace regardless of what is going on outside.   The first thing we can do to confront the trap is recognize it and then try to find happiness in the present moment while working towards the goal in mind. This is being okay with being okay or being okay even if you feel like dog crap. You are not doing sobriety, or anything wrong, if you have a bad day or 50.   To be fair, we do feel better when we make positive change in our lives, but it’s the balance we are going for. And not to place 100% of happiness to a future date, which is never guaranteed.       Better Help:  www.betterhelp.com/elevator - 10% off your first month. #sponsored   [11:37] Kris introduces Matthew:   Matthew has just past 16 years of sobriety. He is married and they have two teenage sons. He spent many years as a radio and TV personality all over the country, but recently left the business to do podcasts, motivational speaking and is the head coach of a local high school hockey team. He enjoys doing this as well as taking advantage of the hiking opportunities near where he lives in Phoenix, AZ.   Matthew was first exposed to alcohol at a very young age when his dad would share sips of beer with him. He grew up in a family where drinking was a part of the landscape at all gatherings of any kind.   He didn’t really drink a whole lot until he was in his late teens. Later in his twenties, Matthew’s career found him doing a lot of appearances where he was expected to be the life of the party and ensure that everyone present was having a good time. This involved large bar tabs and many after parties that he occasionally had too much and couldn’t function well for his job the next day.     His drinking increased a lot after his father died. He was attending therapy to deal with the great loss and how it happened. He ended up leaving his family and traveled around the country with his career eventually meeting his wife. Things were going well and then there were major changes at work which ended up with him being unemployed while his wife was pregnant. He says that he spent a lot of time drinking at that point.   The moved again shortly after that and it was after a work Christmas party that Matthew found his rock bottom moment. That night he didn’t want the party to end but was unable to find an open bar. He ended up buying some wine and walking home. It was a three mile walk in the snow to his house. His wife and son were both crying when he got home and he just went to his room and passed out. When he woke up, he wrote a letter to his wife and son saying that he will never have another drink.   When he decided to quit, he knew he couldn’t do it by himself. He went to therapy to help him uncover the “why”. He told everyone that he was not going to be able to attend any alcoholic events for a while. Learning why he was drinking was the most important piece. He believes in living a life that he doesn’t want to escape from.   [01:02:15] Kris’ summary:   Kris reflects on the power of connection with people that you can let your guard down with. It’s important to feel seen and community is a great way to do that.     Connect with Cafe RE  Use the promo code OPPORTUNITY to waive the set-up fee. Recovery Elevator YouTube   We are the only ones that can do this, RE But we don’t have to do it alone. I love you guys        
3/6/20231 hour, 4 minutes, 34 seconds
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RE 419: Boredom & Sobriety

Episode 419 – Boredom and Sobriety   Today we have Joel. He is 42 from Lawton, OK, and took his last drink on November 28th, 2022.   Join Recovery Elevator in Atlanta, GA over Memorial Day weekend. Registration opens March 1st, and the Sunday evening event is for everyone, and you can find more information about it HERE!   Exact Nature: https://exactnature.com/RE20   [2:18] Highlights from Paul:   Boredom is a completely normal and natural emotion, one of the many all humans have. In today’s world, we are were unconsciously wired to feel inadequate if we are not stimulated 24/7. But boredom is healthy and what is needed for a creative spark. Big alcohol has done a great job of convincing us that we cannot have fun without alcohol, and part of the sobriety process is finding joy or fun again – without the shit. We can learn to leverage technology and maybe start researching something that we are interested in. And everything becomes a possibility when you quit drinking. It takes our body time to find a heathier homeostasis but with time and practice, boredom becomes the invitation for us to be open to whatever wants to come our way in an alcohol-free life.   Better Help:  www.betterhelp.com/elevator - 10% off your first month. #sponsored   [12:01] Paul introduces Joel:   Joel has 51 days of sobriety at the time of this recording. He is manager of a large automotive retailer. He is married and they have a 14 year old daughter. He enjoys spending time outdoors hiking and at the lake.   Raised by a single mom and had addicts in his family. He didn’t really know his dad until he was 13-14 years old and doesn’t really have contact with him anymore. Parents had a toxic relationship.   Joel feels that this time in sobriety is different. He has tried many times and it seems like it gets harder every time. This time he feels that some of the signs he was given were different than before. He started realizing that he was allowing alcohol to take more and more control of his life. He was drinking on the way home from work, his wife hated his drinking so he was hiding it, and finally he realized it was becoming a huge problem.  The last few weeks found him having some red flags that made him realize he really needed to stop.   Joel says the first few days were exciting and full of optimism and then about day 3-5 found him full of anxiety. He knew it was part of his healing, and found he needed to stay busy to keep sober.  After two weeks he started feeling better, seeing some physical improvements and getting positive feedback from his wife. He feels very motivated to keep the momentum going and finally feels free.   He says he has always been a fan of routines, but now has a much healthier one without alcohol. Exercise has been a huge help to him as well as being reflective in a quiet space. As soon as he feels any anxiety he goes for walks regardless of where he is.   Thinking of the future Joel says he wants to be a role model for his daughter and live a happy life with his family. His mental health is important to him, and he has no interest in ever drinking again. Joel is in some sobriety groups and enjoys listening to podcasts. He and his wife also talk a lot about his journey, she is very understanding and supportive now.     Connect with Cafe RE  Use the promo code OPPORTUNITY to waive the set-up fee. Recovery Elevator YouTube Sobriety Tracker iTunes    Recovery Elevator Go big, because eventually we all go home. I love you guys      
2/27/202344 minutes, 59 seconds
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RE 418: Serenity Now!

Episode 418 – Serenity Now!   Today we have Bethany. She is 34 from Michigan and took her last drink in January of 2021.   We have partnered with Sober Link. You can find some tips and can sign up for a $50 off promo code.   [2:15] Highlights from Kris:   Kris enjoys living in a small town where everyone helps one another, and the pace is rather consistent. He and his wife were recently on a trip to the city, and it was busier than usual which created sensory overload for Kris. He found himself in the candle section of Target taking a moment and saying the serenity prayer. It helps him shift his thinking that it’s all about him and reminds him that he can exist better with others.   God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change The courage to change the things I can The wisdom to know the difference   It doesn’t fix everything right away, but it assists with pausing and choosing how to react going forward.   Better Help:  www.betterhelp.com/elevator - 10% off your first month. #sponsored   [10:15] Kris introduces Bethany:   Bethany is 34, has two kids and a fiancé. She just graduated college last year, works as an account manager for a car parts company. For fun she likes to play video games and plays often with her fiancé. She also enjoys running, camping, travelling and quality time with friends and family.   Bethany wasn’t exposed to alcohol much growing up. She had her first drink when she was 14 and got sick so she didn’t try it again for a while. Started going to high school parties but didn’t drink when she was playing sports. She found herself in a toxic relationship with a boy she met in church. After a messy break up she stopped going to the church and ended up feeling the loss of community as a result. After going away to college, she started partying as a way to escape her depression.   By her sophomore year she stopped going to classes and for the next year, her drinking escalated a good bit more. She met her ex-husband around this time. She ended up getting pregnant and then they got married and had another child. She says they weren’t compatible, and they didn’t have a healthy relationship. Bethany feels she didn’t have a good real-life example of strong relationships growing up because her mom died when she was four and her dad never remarried. Her husband was in the military where the drinking culture is very normalized, and they drank a lot. Towards the end of the marriage, she realized that the drinking was getting in the way of her parenting, and it was hard to take any breaks from it. Everyone she was around drank like she did, so no one ever said anything to her about it. For a while she stayed stuck in the cycle of drinking too much, taking a few days off and then starting back again.   She met her fiancé at a friend’s party. He is a normal drinker and would sometimes call her out for her drinking. Bethany says her behavior towards him and others could be abusive, so she started trying to set rules around her drinking. It wasn’t until an incident that had her feeling bad about not being present for her kids prompted her to think about trying to quit drinking.   A Google search led her to finding RE and she discovered a few episodes that really resonated with her. For the first time she realized she wasn’t alone and felt hope for the future. She joined Café RE for support and accountability and started reading a lot of Quit Lit. Soon into recovery she found herself enjoying life without alcohol and enjoying her children playing sports. Her grades improved and she graduated with honors. She has started making friends that she enjoys spending time with.   [52:25] Kris’ Summary   Telling our stories is a brave thing and can help a lot of people. Reach out if you are interested in sharing your story: [email protected]   Connect with Cafe RE  Use the promo code OPPORTUNITY to waive the set-up fee. Recovery Elevator YouTube Sobriety Tracker iTunes    Recovery Elevator The only way out is through, we can do this I love you guys      
2/20/202354 minutes, 52 seconds
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RE 417: The Best and Worst Place to be With a Drinking Problem

Episode 417 – The Best and Worst Place to be With a Drinking Problem   Today we have Jenny, she is 36 from Hudson, WI and took her last drink on 2/16/2020.   Shout out to our Café RE hosts!  They do an amazing job. If you are interested in joining, click the link and use the promo code OPPORTUNITY to wave the setup fee.   [02:45] Intro Summary:   When Paul describes the best and worst places to be with a drinking problem, they both look a lot alike.   That realization that alcohol no longer serves us, but we can’t imagine life without it can be a scary place to be. Alcohol has us right where it wants us. It may feel like part of you is dying, that feeling is grief.   But on the flip side, when we realize that alcohol no longer serves us, we can see that as an invitation to live the life we were meant to live. We are at the tipping point about to embark upon the greatest journey in our life.   We are all right where we need to be. Life will keep giving us the same lesson until we are ready to learn or make a change. By making that first jump into the unknown, you give others courage to do the same.   Better Help: www.betterhelp.com/elevator - 10% off your first month. #sponsored     [10:15] Paul introduces Jenny:   Jenny is 36 and lives in the small town of Hudson WI.  She is married and they have one son together. She works in education and enjoys the outdoors – camping, backpacking, she also enjoys gardening, yoga and in recovery she learned that she likes to read.   Jenny’s drinking started when she was just 11 years old. A traumatic event that she didn’t share with anyone had her feeling alone and out of place. Jenny realized she loved drinking right from the start. She grew up aspiring to be the bad girl with the tough persona because it helped her put up a guard to protect herself. She enjoyed drinking and was willing to try any other drugs.   When she was 20 her and her boyfriend moved to Montana. She thought she could escape her issues, but that didn’t work. Her addictions got worse and while she would quit some things, the alcohol remained which helped her believe that she didn’t have a problem because drinking was socially acceptable. At age 30, she lost a pregnancy and her drinking evolved from drinking for fun to being self-destructive.  She later got pregnant again and her son was born 18 months later.  She still struggled to quit drinking during pregnancy and since her doctor told her it was ok, she saw that as a green light to keep drinking.   When their son was 7 weeks old, they moved back home from Montana to their hometown to be close to family. In debt, postpartum with no job, the lived in her in-law’s basement and her drinking got really bad. No one called her out because drinking was all part of the culture.   Her turning point was after Super Bowl Sunday when she had crippling anxiety the day after and ended up staying in bed for two days with very dark thoughts. There is a history of suicide in her family and that is what stopped her from that path.   She says she was sober from alcohol for the first 14 months but doesn’t feel like she was in recovery. She ended up going to AA in April of 2021 and hasn’t looked back.   To her, there is a big difference between being sober and being in recovery. She is doing things that she likes to do instead of just not drinking. She feels like every day is a victory and she counts every day as it helps motivate her. At first, she had a hard time letting go of the old persona, but now she has let go of that and has redefined who she is. She loves mornings now and is doing well in her job. She also loves yoga and attends AA meetings frequently as well as other online community events.       Connect with Cafe RE - Use the promo code OPPORTUNITY to waive the set-up fee. Recovery Elevator YouTube - Subscribe here! Sobriety Tracker iTunes      Recovery Elevator I love you guys We can do this.      
2/13/202347 minutes, 22 seconds
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RE 416: The AF Beverage

Episode 416 – The AF Beverage   Today we have Mike, he is 59 from Newport, OR and took his last drink on 1/27/2022.   Shout out to one of our sponsors - SoberLink – click the link for a promo code for RE listeners.   Our six week Sober Ukulele Course brought to you by Kala Brand ukulele starts this Saturday! There is still time to sign up.  If you need a ukulele, use the promo code 23ELEVATOR for 15% off.   Thank you Café RE chat hosts!  You do an amazing job!   [01:34] Highlights from Paul:   When quitting drinking, the thinking mind creates 99 problems or obstacles, but what to drink when we ditch the booze shouldn’t be one of them. Exploring AF beverages in recovery should be fun.   Paul gives us the three key pillars (the drink, the temperature, and the glass/cup) along with many great tips on combining these elements to make the perfect AF drink.   Better Help: www.betterhelp.com/elevator - 10% off your first month. #sponsored     [10:31] Kris introduces Mike:   Mike has been sober for 323 days at the time of recording. He lives on the Oregon coast and after leaving the restaurant business three years ago, he now manages a deli. He enjoys writing and walking on the beach which he lives very close to.   Mike started working in the restaurant business as a cook at the age of 15-16 years old. He says that alcohol comes with the restaurant industry. It was customary to drink with customer and coworkers, it was part of day to day life. No one really commented on his drinking because his family was on the west coast and he was attending college on the east coast. Everyone he associated with at the time drank as well.   He did some soul searching after he had gotten a divorce and took some time away from alcohol, but it was hard to sustain. The long hours and drinking we beginning to take a toll on him mentally and physically. He started making rules around his drinking but always broke them.   When he was 40, he got married again and they had a child. He says alcohol was a problem in his relationships and was starting to affect his job as well.  He tried outpatient rehab and attending AA on his own but when that didn’t repair the marriage, he stopped going. His drinking increased and he got a few DUIs that included court ordered meetings and counseling. He was just checking the boxes by going, but ended up learning things on the way even though he wasn’t ready to quit drinking. He enjoys research and looks at that as time he used to research quitting drinking. He reflected on his journals that he has kept throughout his life and realized that he has always had issues with alcohol but didn’t listen.   He joined Café RE in September of 2021 after his girlfriend found Recovery Elevator and suggested it to Mike. He feels that quitting drinking this time is his choice which has made all the difference for him.   When Mike first started his current AF journey, he would keep track of any cravings that he would have in a notebook that he carried with him. He says by the time he finished writing it down the craving had mostly left. His friends know he has quit which has made socializing much easier. He enjoys AF beer and isn’t bothered by being around alcohol at events and when out playing pool.   Writing and processing his thoughts has been an instrumental tool for Mike in recovery. He works on his sobriety every single day and shares his reflections with the community daily since he quit.   [52:00] Kris’ outro:   Kris reflects on “sandpaper people”.  This quote from the book Us by Terrence Real helped him change his responses and reactions to these types of people. Even subtle positive energy can have an impact on those around me.   “This world does not belong to us; we belong to on another”.   Connect with Cafe RE - Use the promo code OPPORTUNITY to waive the set-up fee. Recovery Elevator YouTube - Subscribe here! Sobriety Tracker iTunes      Thanks for being here RE and remember, We’re the only ones that can do this, but we don’t have to do it alone. I love you guys  
2/6/202355 minutes, 44 seconds
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RE 415: Dopamine

Episode 415 – Dopamine   Today we have Jorie, she is 31, from Westford, VT and took her last drink on 9/19/2020   There are two spots left for our next sober travel trip to Costa Rica from April 12th-21st for more information click the link Costa Rica 2023.  The deadline to register is February 24th.   Registration is open for our 6 week Ukulele Course brought to you by Kala Brand ukulele – use the promo code 23ELEVATOR for 15% off. The course starts in three weeks on Saturday, February 11th so you have plenty of time to pick-up a ukulele.   [02:01] Highlights from Paul:   We hear a lot about dopamine in recovery.  All humans have dopamine, but our dopamine systems all work differently.  It is the chemical that drives us eat, find warmth, shelter, find a mate and is also known as the pleasure molecule.   Living in a world of abundance rather than scarcity finds us with an overwhelming number of dopamine-triggering stimuli for nearly all of us in one way or another.  Many of us reached the point in our drinking where we no longer drank to feel good but drank just to feel normal.  This is all tied to dopamine and how it is processed by the body.  Dopamine is important to keep us going, but we must find healthier ways to get it.   Check out the book Dopamine Nation by Anna Lembke, it is a great read on the topic.   We have partnered with SoberLink – there is a promo code for RE listeners.   [09:14] introduces Jorie:   Jorie is 31 and was born in raised in Vermont.  She enjoys running, playing hockey and loves to write which she says helps her stay in the present moment. She’s an athletic trainer at a local school, runs her own business and supervises sporting events. She is also part of a co-ed hockey league in her spare time.   Jorie didn’t start drinking until after college. Her parents divorced when she was young. Her father had a drinking problem, but her mother did not drink.  She was never interested in drinking, she worked hard in school and played sports, so it didn’t fit into her lifestyle. She was in a long-term relationship since she was 18 and they got married when she was 27.   The pandemic really opened her eyes to her relationship with alcohol.  She realized how uncomfortable it made her to think about alcohol not being an option to cope with things. Jorie and her brother challenged one another to quit drinking over the summer of 2020 and they almost made it three weeks. That experiment helped her to further review her drinking and she started realizing that she really tried to avoid being uncomfortable for a long time. She began reading books associated with recovery and discovered Recovery Elevator where she listened to other people’s stories and recognized that we don’t have to hit rock bottom to question our drinking.   When she quit drinking, she initially felt a lot of anxiety and fear. She felt guilt that she craved alcohol, she felt shame for listening to podcasts for hours.  She wants to live her best life and realizes that alcohol will impede that. Jorie does not want to see a rock bottom and is focusing on her growth in sobriety. She feels stronger in her job and in her relationships and really thrives on focusing on the present. For Jorie, recovery takes effort and continued learning is important.   [46:49] Paul’s outro:   In the book Dopamine Nation Dr Anna Lembke talks about a 30 day dopamine fast. It isn’t always that easy, but it is necessary to help us heal. Over time and with work, we can live a life without the temptations to the dopamine system.   Connect with Cafe RE - Use the promo code OPPORTUNITY to waive the set-up fee. Recovery Elevator YouTube - Subscribe here! Sobriety Tracker iTunes      Recovery Elevator We took the elevator down, but we’ve got to take the stairs back up I love you guys  
1/30/202350 minutes, 54 seconds
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RE 414: You Won’t Regret Not Drinking

Episode 414 – You Won’t Regret Not Drinking   Today we have Emily, she is 44, from Phoenix, AZ and took her last drink on March 10th, 2019   There are about four spots open for our next sober travel trip to Costa Rica from April 12th-21st for more information click the link Costa Rica 2023.  The deadline to register is February 24th.   Registration is open for our 6 week Ukulele Course brought to you by Kala Brand ukulele – use the promo code 23ELEVATOR for 15% off. The course starts Saturday, February 11th.   Exact Nature: https://exactnature.com/RE20   [02:34] Paul’s thoughts:   Paul doesn’t make many promises on this podcast but feels he can 100% positively tell us that we will never regret not drinking.  You won’t regret the extra $20 you save; the planet won’t regret the gallons of water not used after “breaking the seal” or the trash drinking creates. Your family will never regret you not drinking. Your pets, your plants, your job, your community. Your hobbies, and your goals as well as any one of the 70 trillion cells in your body will not regret you not drinking.   It takes bravery and courage to take this path but listeners, you will not regret ditching the booze. You can do this.   Better Help: www.betterhelp.com/elevator - 10% off your first month. #sponsored   [08:30] Kris introduces Emily:   Emily has been sober for almost 4 years. She lives in Phoenix AZ with her husband, two daughters and two cats. She currently works in music education and loves to play music, paddleboard, and listening to podcasts.   Emily had little exposure to alcohol growing up. Her father was a recovering alcoholic, which wasn’t talked about much. She took her first drink at the age of 19 at an Army officer training program event. She was very nervous and insecure in new social settings so accepted the offer to drink and ended up blacking out. She was excited to fit in but had a huge sense of shame because she didn’t remember what happened.   Drinking was a problem for Emily right from the start. It was never just one she always binge drank. Throughout college and her career, she was able to mostly uphold her dual life – had it all together but on the inside was struggling with fears of not fitting in and fears of abandonment.   Emily’s husband was also in the military and was deployed frequently. She used alcohol to self soothe when she felt isolated. They were moving around a lot which gave Emily a chance to start over every time. She didn’t have to worry about who she alienated or upset with her drinking and just moved to the next town.    Emily reconnected with her father when one of their moves took them to the area where he lived. She enjoyed the opportunity they had to get to know one another and spend time together. When her father died unexpectedly, her drinking ramped up again.    Over the last few years of her drinking, she ended up resigning from her job and took a work from home position. She found herself drinking more and it was affecting all of her relationships. Emily decided to change her relationship with alcohol after a painful experience that happened with her kids. Within a few days of the event, she walked into her first AA meeting and that was her quit date.   Emily started with AA and an IOP program. She attended a lot of meetings and found a sponsor that helped her learn how to stop punishing herself and stop worrying about being abandoned. Being willing to do what her sponsor suggested helped her recovery. She was able to start playing music again and has started being a sponsor herself.   [51:20] Kris’ outro:   One of the beautiful things about recovery is finding parts of ourselves that we thought we lost.  Emily has reconnected with her love for music and her song “Am I Alright?” as the outro today.     Connect with Cafe RE - Use the promo code OPPORTUNITY to waive the set-up fee. Recovery Elevator YouTube - Subscribe here! Sobriety Tracker iTunes    Remember, we took the elevator down, but we’ve got to take the stairs back up You can do this I love you guys  
1/23/202357 minutes, 25 seconds
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RE 413: Grit, Grace, and Gratitude

Episode 413 – Grit, Grace, and Gratitude     Today we have Matt who is from Atlanta and took his last drink on November 15th, 2022.   Registration is open for our 6 week Ukulele Course brought to you by Kala Brand ukulele – use the promo code 23ELEVATOR for 15% off. The course starts Saturday, February 11th.   Exact Nature: https://exactnature.com/RE20   [02:35] Thoughts from Kris:   Turning 40 found him thinking more about longevity and being able to be healthy later in life. He has struggled with his physical health the past few years but gave himself a pass because his mental and spiritual health was more important at the time. Now, five years later and several stops and starts, he realizes he needs to treat his nutrition and physical health goals like another form of recovery. Much like sobriety, he felt he shouldn’t do it alone and reached out to a friend in the health and wellness world and asked for help. Together they set some small, attainable goals rather than a strict daily routine bound for failure.   He talks about the virtues of “grit” “grace” and “gratitude” and their relation to our recovery.   Better Help: www.betterhelp.com/elevator - 10% off your first month. #sponsored   [10:21] Paul introduces Matt   Matt has 31 days at the time of this recording. He feels great making it past that milestone after many stops in starts over the past four years. Matt was born in Atlanta and moved to Utah in middle school. He was an avid skier and baseball player in school and currently enjoys going to the gym, running, and playing in a local rock band.   Matt was young when he first tried sips of his parents’ drinks. Other than a few parties, Matt didn’t drink much in high school. It wasn’t until joining a fraternity in college that his drinking really got going. He considers his drinking as binge drinking and did not drink daily however, he started developing panic attacks and having issues with his grades at school.   He buckled down and cut back on partying during his senior year and graduated. He got a good job right after college and wasn’t having any more panic attacks. He typically only drank on the weekends and didn’t feel he had a problem because work was still going well and, on the occasion that he got a hangover, he would take a break for a while.   Some consequences came when he lost his job a few years ago and his drinking really ramped up as a way to cope with it. It took him a while to realize he was drinking to cover up his feelings and started using more and more. When things at home weren’t going well Matt agreed he needed to address his drinking and started attending AA. He was stuck in the cycle of addiction with many stops and starts.   It was 31 days ago that Matt took himself to inpatient detox so that he could start the healing process.  He was ready to commit to not drinking and working on getting his life back. Initially he feared judgment from others but felt relief when he got there. After four days, he feels he had a moment of clarity and started to feel better and really dove into his recovery. Matt believes in radical honesty and accountability now and is working with his wife to earn her trust back while helping her understand what addiction is like. He went back to AA, is working the steps with a sponsor and he enjoys helping newcomers. He is feeling like this is a rebirth for him and is happy to live a life without alcohol. He has a clear idea of the person, husband, and father he wants to be.   [46:35] Kris’ outro:   Kris encourages us to look at ourselves and ask if a different approach could help us with our goals that we may have been struggling to reach. Our egos want to protect us but if we pick the right people to have on our team, it can be a game changer. Change is hard, but so is letting something keep us from our best life.   Connect with Cafe RE - Use the promo code OPPORTUNITY to waive the set-up fee. Recovery Elevator YouTube - Subscribe here! Sobriety Tracker iTunes    You’re the only ones who can do this, but you don’t have to do it alone I love you guys.      
1/16/202348 minutes, 54 seconds
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RE 412: Get Your Connection On

Episode 412 – Get Connected   Today we have Brad who is 35 from Fort Wayne, IN and took his last drink on 8/31/2018   Exact Nature: https://exactnature.com/RE20   On Saturday February 11th we start the 6 week Ukulele Course brought to you by Kala Brand ukulele – use the promo code 23ELEVATOR for 15% off.   [3:19] Highlights from Paul:   Human beings are wired for connection, we need it to survive. It’s up on the list with food, clean water, and shelter.  Paul shares several statistics surrounding chronic disorders with the biggest one being mental disorders and loneliness. Loneliness has been compared to smoking in how it affects our bodies and is considered to be unhealthier than inactivity or obesity. Our addictions are symptoms of our disconnection.   Are we doomed?  Paul says no. There is a remedy - get connected!   The ability to connect is a skill that we acquire naturally as kids/young adults but connecting later in life isn’t as easy.  Here are some steps to help with connecting: #1 – leverage your decision to quit drinking #2 – Connect - Go to AA, join Café RE, meet with other sober people   Connection isn’t always human to human.  Animals can help too.  Paul credits Ben in saving him and helping him get sober.  We (the community) are what help him stay sober.   Better Help: www.betterhelp.com/elevator - 10% off your first month. #sponsored   [11:25] Kris introduces Brad:   Brad is from Indiana; he is married and has a daughter and two dogs.  He works in sales and enjoys spending time with family and friends, playing golf, and being active with his church.   Brad didn’t really drink much until his sophomore year in college when he had an opportunity to go to school in London. When he returned, he continued to go out frequently to bars and parties. He didn’t see a problem as he was still doing well in school and graduated with honors. He found the transition between college and finding a career to be challenging. Due to his colleagues being older than him, he felt a little isolated socially so he would continue to spend time with friends that were still in college. This found him drinking more and more frequently.   He met his wife at a bar and in the early days of their relationship they socialized often. He always drank more than her and it wasn’t until they moved in together that he would recognize that his drinking was a problem. He would try to quit for a while, but it didn’t last, and he considered his drinks a reward for working hard. It started causing issues in their relationship.   Brad was starting to have some negative consequences from his drinking but still wasn’t ready to quit. It wasn’t until he was forced to face the consequences of a DUI and an ultimatum from his wife that he explored recovery. His dad took him to his first AA meeting where he got some encouraging words from members at the meeting and chose to continue going and working the steps. He says it felt great to find a community which is still important to his recovery.   At first, he approached his recovery as just not drinking. He quickly learned that he needed to do more internal work. Brad is open about the fact that he doesn’t drink. He has lost a few relationships which hurt at first, but it showed him his true friends. He finds acts of service important to his recovery. He uses HALT to help him deal with the cravings which he says he has very few of these days.   [57:30] Kris’ outro:   There are more conversations about being sober curious happening outside of the recovery space.  The idea of looking at your drinking is becoming less taboo.  Sure, the time of year has a lot to do with it but having the conversations is what’s important. Look for the right times to share, you can help others with your experiences.   Connect with Cafe RE - Use the promo code OPPORTUNITY to waive the set-up fee. Recovery Elevator YouTube - Subscribe here! Sobriety Tracker iTunes    Recovery Elevator We took the elevator down but we’ve got to take the steps back up. I love you guys.
1/9/202359 minutes, 58 seconds
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RE 411: The Grateful Alcoholic

Episode 411 – The Grateful Alcoholic   Today we have Lisa who is 65 from Atlanta, GA took her last drink on 11/17/2022.   Whether you are on day 1 or day 1000, there is still time to join REStore. The next class is tonight at 8:30pm EST   There are still spots open for our next sober travel trip to Costa Rica from April 12th-21st for more information click the link Costa Rica 2023   Highlights from Paul:   Paul didn’t understand a fellow AA member’s references to being a “grateful alcoholic”.  Only after getting to know Jim, did he understand what they meant. It took a few years for Paul to get to that point to be grateful for his addiction.    He reflects that our addictions are signposts trying to guide us to a more authentic life and that there are no such things as failures. They are learning opportunities and we should never give up.  We should trust the process of healing from the addictions, and we can all become grateful for the role that alcohol has played in our lives.   Better Help: www.betterhelp.com/elevator - 10% off your first month. #sponsored   [00:00] Paul introduces Lisa   Her last drink was November 17, 2022 - a little over three weeks from the time of this recording.  She says it feels wonderful, relieving, liberating, comforting, all positive things.   Lisa is 65 and lives in Atlanta area with her husband of 36 years. They have two grown children and remain close to them. She enjoys reading, travelling, exercise, nature and family time.   Lisa’s drinking started out on the weekends in high school.  She drank throughout adulthood and always knew she drank abnormally. She discovered she had her first blackout and fell when she was nearly 50.  That scared her into getting sober with AA but she feels she never did the work or found a good sponsor.  After one year, she thought she could handle drinking again.   Over the last two or three years she has known she needed to stop again. She was starting to notice the health consequences and began finding resources including The Huberman Lab podcast episode about alcohol, and This Naked Mind. Journalling about her drinking past has helped her recognize some of what drove her to addiction.  She became aware that her drinking ramped up after she retired in 2015 as she felt a loss of identity. She has recently become a caretaker for her mother who has been in recovery since Lisa was 15, but they have never been close. She thinks she used alcohol for stress and anxiety relief over that and the loneliness she found in retirement.  Now that she knows that it is her brain reacting to the disease which she finds helpful to her recovery. She embraces that she must do things differently this time and get comfortable with being uncomfortable. She has joined several recovery communities and asked to be on the podcast. She has not shared her journey with her immediate family but plans to do so very soon.   In recovery, Lisa says that routine is vital to her success.  She exercises daily while listening to podcasts. She enjoys volunteering to stay busy.  Her faith is very important to her and she finds prayer and journalling helpful.   One thing she has learned in sobriety – she can find the courage to do hard things and is stronger than she realized Parting piece of guidance – you can control your thoughts, just focus on what you are gaining, not what you are losing.   [00:00] Closing thoughts from Paul:   Paul encourages us to stop labeling things as a problem.  We need challenges to appreciate rewards.  He compares this to alcohol as being the invitation to step into a rebirth and make great changes in our lives for the better. He has yet to meet someone that regretted quitting drinking. Paul also revisits his thoughts on Big Alcohol and his view on legalization of drugs and alcohol.    Connect with Cafe RE - Use the promo code OPPORTUNITY to waive the set-up fee. Recovery Elevator YouTube - Subscribe here! Sobriety Tracker iTunes    I love you guys. We took the elevator down; we’ve got to take the stairs back up. We can do this.
1/2/202352 minutes, 9 seconds
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RE 410: What's the Point?

Episode 410 – What’s the Point?   Today we have Justin who is 37 from New York   Check out the AF drink recipes curated by Kate on the Recovery Elevator blog   NYE Sober Prom in San Diego on December 31st. We have Athletic Brewing, Sip Clean, Sound Soda and Crumbl Cookies sponsoring this event, open to Café RE members only.   Whether you are on day 1 or day 1000, there is still time to join REStore. We start this Sunday, please join us!    Highlights from Paul:   Many of us have asked the question “what’s the point of life?” The response is always a near derivative of love. It’s safe to say that the core religions can be summarized with one teaching. The Golden Rule. The mystics recognized, we are all one, what you do to another you do to yourself and if you treat your fellow human being with respect and dignity, you in turn will experience the same.   We have learned that we cannot find the point of it all at the bottom of a bottle.  And when we hear The Golden Rule, we often think of the other person, but what about being kind to ourselves? Treat others as you’d like to be treated, but you need to treat yourself how you want to be treated. And only then, can we have a shot at learning about what this miracle we call life is all about.   Better Help: www.betterhelp.com/elevator - 10% off your first month. #sponsored   [10:00]  Kris introduces Justin:   Justin has been sober since September 9th, 2020. He lives in Harrison New York. He is getting married next year, has two cats and two dogs. He loves running, traveling, and listening to podcasts and audiobooks.   When he was growing up, his first exposure to alcohol was his family having wine at the holidays and his dad drank beer. He remembers his father as inconsistent, and was very aware of the amount of beer that his father drank and was attuned to what was going on.   Justin first drank in around 7th grade but didn’t like where it was heading. Later he had a small circle of friends that he would drink heavily with late in high school. After transitioning to college alcohol was the gateway to making friends. He started making rules around his drinking early on and used it as a coping tool. He never felt he had a problem because he knew what a problem looked like.   After college, Justin continued to try and create rules around his drinking. Alcohol was more of a social connector and bars were everywhere and he couldn’t imagine life without drinking – it was normalized but he knew he was different, and that drinking wasn’t right for him.   It was when Justin had his first experience dating someone that didn’t drink that he realized it was possible to go out and be fully present and aware. He recognized that this was the person he wanted to be but was still dependent on alcohol. When he had 10 days of sobriety for a personal development course, but could not continue, he knew he had to address the problem. He started listening to audiobooks which helped him recognize what led to his addiction. He had a shift where he realized that he no longer wanted to use alcohol to cope with life. While running he started listening to recovery books and podcasts. He was able to start stringing sober days together and realized that he wanted to be a non-drinker. He started looking at his recovery scientifically and evaluated his sober vs. non-sober time.   He says his biggest tools involve audiobooks, podcasts, playing the tape forward and connection is the most important. You can connect with Justin in the links below:   Alternative Direction Coaching This Naked Mind - Justin [email protected]   [60:00] Thoughts from Kris   Radical honesty has been important for Kris and urges us to ask ourselves a few questions without judgement.  Honesty can help us accept where we are and get the help that we need.    Connect with Cafe RE - Use the promo code OPPORTUNITY to waive the set-up fee. Recovery Elevator YouTube - Subscribe here! Sobriety Tracker iTunes    You’re the only one who can do this RE But you don’t have to do it alone I love you guys.  
12/26/20221 hour, 3 minutes, 15 seconds
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RE 409: The Cost of Inauthenticity

Episode 409 – The Cost of Inauthenticity   Today we have Jeremiah, he’s 35 from Denver, CO and took his last drink on April 27, 2022.   NYE Sober Prom in San Diego on December 31st.  We have Athletic Brewing, Sip Clean, Sound Soda and Crumbl Cookies sponsoring this event, open to Café RE members only.   Registration for REStore is now open!  https://www.recoveryelevator.com/restore/   Exact Nature: https://exactnature.com/RE20   Highlights from Paul:   Being inauthentic creates a lot of pain which many of us have tried to address it by using alcohol.  We often choose survival over authenticity by putting our basic needs over expressing or being ourselves.  Sometimes we have to be inauthentic to fit in.   Dr. Gabor Mate’s book “The Myth of Normal” says “the perceived need to be what the world demands becomes entangled with our sense of who we are and how to seek love. Inauthenticity is thereafter misidentified with survival because the two were synonymous during the formative years.”   It has been studied that being inauthentic can lead to physical disease.  And Dr. Sarno has concluded that back pain is not structural but represents repressed emotions, mostly rage.   How can we be authentic?  It is a practice and a balance. There are two sides to the coin:  saying no to BS and doing more of what you enjoy.  Paul challenges us to ask ourselves where we are not being authentic?  What BS are we putting up with?   Better Help:  www.betterhelp.com/elevator - 10% off your first month. #sponsored   [9:28]  Paul introduces Jeremiah:   Jeremiah took his last drink on April 27, 2022.  He grew up in Wisconsin but currently lives in Denver, CO.  He’s 35, single and has two dogs and loves all varieties of outdoor sports.   Jeremiah didn’t drink in high school but started drinking when he went to college.  He was able to do well in school and work and went out a few nights a week drinking like a “normal” college student.  After graduating he moved out of state, got married and says his drinking was drastically reduced. Even throughout other life changes including a divorce his drinking wasn’t out of control.  After getting a DUI he was ordered to take classes that he didn’t feel that he needed and was able to quit drinking for over a year with relative ease.   He initially saw the pandemic as an opportunity to focus on healthy and productive endeavors. He soon started to feel very isolated, and depression and anxiety started to set in.  His doctor put him on an antidepressant and Xanax which he started to abuse and mixing with alcohol.  He attended an IOP for Xanax with no intention of quitting drinking initially.  After a big relapse he realized he was no longer in control of his drinking and decided to go to inpatient rehab.   He wishes he had gone into rehab sooner where he finally felt relief and realized that he needed to make some changes. He made the decision to quit his job and moved back to Denver where he took some time off and started doing things that he used to enjoy.  He feels that his hobbies are just as important to his recovery as the community that he has found in AA and Café RE. He has found that through his hobbies and mindfulness he is better at living in the moment.  He looks forward to the future and plans to do more hiking, travelling and hopefully one day have a family.   [48:25] Paul’s summary:   Gen Z and many others are waking up to the fact that alcohol is shit.  Just like Big Tobacco had their moment with catchy icons helping us believe that smoking was cool and good for us until people started dying, Big Alcohol has also spun a similar story – that it is good for our health and social life. But we are waking up and just like domestic tobacco sales went to shit, I imagine the same is already in motion for Big Alcohol.   Resources Connect with Cafe RE - Use the promo code OPPORTUNITY to waive the set-up fee. Recovery Elevator YouTube - Subscribe here! Sobriety Tracker iTunes    Recovery Elevator This isn’t a “no” to alcohol, but a “yes” to a better life. I love you guys.
12/19/202251 minutes, 9 seconds
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RE 408: Focus on the Good

Episode 408 – Focus on the Good   Today we have Bret, 42, from Fort Lauderdale, Florida and he took his last drink on September 17th, 2022.   Registration for REStore is now open!  https://www.recoveryelevator.com/restore/   Exact Nature: https://exactnature.com/RE20   Highlights from Paul:   Paul urges us to focus on the good.  There is plenty of bad news out there but ruminating on issues that don’t directly affect us can be detrimental.  While suffering is part of the human condition, there is always something to be thankful for.  He says that it is on the super challenging days where our recovery work is so important.    Like Odette said in the newsletter recently - “watch our thoughts – if a thought isn’t inline with your new alcohol-free life – let it go”.   Author Jay Shetty in his book Think Like a Monk classifies thoughts as a seed or a weed.  If it’s a weed, let it go, if it’s a seed, water it and let it grow.   Manifestation is the mind’s version of The Golden Rule, which is when you treat others with respect, you will gain respect back.  With your mind it’s the same thing.  If you work towards focusing on the good, then eventually your outer reality will match up.    Paul’s take on “character defects” is that we should be aware and make intentions to correct them, but to not get stuck ruminating on them.  If we focus on our weaknesses, it is hard to let our positive personality traits thrive.    Better Help:  www.betterhelp.com/elevator - 10% off your first month. #sponsored   [10:51]  Kris introduces Bret   Bret is at 66 days sober and feeling cautiously optimistic.    He’s 42 years old, he was raised in Utah but lives in Fort Lauderdale now.  He has been with his partner for 17 years, and they have two dogs and a cat.  He likes to cook, garden and is a property appraiser.    Bret’s parents divorced when he was very young, and he watched his older siblings stress their mom out with their drinking and swore he would never do it. Growing up gay was a struggle but when he went to college he started going to bars and found his community and felt like he belonged.  He was able to drink and successfully go to school and work.  His drinking was on par with everyone else, so he didn’t feel he had a problem.   He moved to Fort Lauderdale in his 20’s and found community in the bar scene.  The party never ended which normalized his drinking for him.  He was still able to work and function fine and never had any major consequences as he was away from family and only interacted with people that drank like he did.   His drinking started to slow down in his 30’s.  They went out less and drank more at home while being caretakers for his mother-in-law.   Bret was the bartender for he and his partner and gradually started drinking earlier and the pours would get heavier.  He tried to moderate and create rules, but he would always break them and eventually started hiding the bottles.   COVID and a lot of external factors led to Bret trying to cope with alcohol.  It was when his husband confronted him about his hidden bottles that he finally felt relief – he feels he wouldn’t have been able to admit he had a problem had it not been for that.  He went to his doctor, and they mentioned an IOP program that Bret got into as soon as he could.    Through his IOP and joining Café RE he feels he is starting to figure out what led him down the path to addiction.  He enjoys attending RE courses and chats and plans to attend the IOP after care to help continue his progress.     Book mentioned by Kris Tribe by Sebastian Junger   [48:33]  Kris’ summary:   A common theme in recovery is loneliness. We felt loneliness while we were drinking, and we also tend to feel alone in recovery.  Finding people and community that understands is so important, especially with the holidays coming up     Resources Connect with Cafe RE - Use the promo code OPPORTUNITY to waive the set-up fee. Recovery Elevator YouTube - Subscribe here! Sobriety Tracker iTunes    We’re the only ones that can do this, RE But we don’t have to do it alone. I love you guys.
12/12/202251 minutes, 29 seconds
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RE 407: A Message to Big Alcohol

Episode 407 – A Message to Big Alcohol   Today we have Jeff, 48, from Joplin Missouri with 13 days of sobriety at time of recording   Registration for Restore opens December 1. https://www.recoveryelevator.com/restore/   Exact Nature: https://exactnature.com/RE20   Highlights from Paul   For the first time in this podcast, Paul speaks to Big Alcohol. Why now? We have a limited time together on each episode he has felt that discussing how to live a better life without the stuff is better use of our time.   He addresses the fact that Big Alcohol’s greatest customers are the alcoholic/problem drinkers and not the “normal” drinker that has one or two beers and the rest sits in the fridge for months.  They are also responsible for perpetuating the myth that alcohol consumption is good for you.  Spoiler alert:  it’s not.  The Huberman Lab Podcast has an episode that dives deep into the effects alcohol has on the brain/body. (https://hubermanlab.com/what-alcohol-does-to-your-body-brain-health)   The amount of trash that can be found on the sides of the road is about a 10/1 ratio alcohol related vs. non-alcohol related.  Paul asks if Big Alcohol is ok with the remnants of their product being strewn all over the planet via human wreckage and excessive trash.   Paul clarifies that his goal is to not fight with Big Alcohol. His battle with alcohol and alcoholism made him who he is today, and he appreciates that. But maybe they would be willing to share just a half of a percentage point of their marketing budget to help us clean up the mess their product has created both on humans and on our planet. We’d be interested to collaborate on our next service project.  You can reach us at [email protected]   Better Help:  www.betterhelp.com/elevator - 10% off your first month. #sponsored   [10:59] Jeff lives in Joplin, MO currently, but grew up in NC.  He has a wife and three children aged 6, 4 and 8 months.  He recently started his own business and enjoys golf, reading, creative writing and poetry, and writing and playing music.   Jeff took his first drink with a friend at home when he was 17.  He remembers the occasional drink at a party in high school but didn’t really start drinking until he turned 21.  Through his 20’s drinking was part of life.  He was able to cut back or quit drinking whenever he felt it was getting to be too much.    Jeff says he didn’t have a true rock bottom moment but after an incident that found him ramping up his drinking, he chose to seek some counseling for PTSD.  He started to realize that the way he had been drinking and handling life was becoming unsustainable.  He wants to be present for his family and didn’t feel that he was able to enjoy life while drinking.   Jeff found himself going to his first AA meeting in many years 13 days ago, has found a sponsor and attends meetings daily.  He has been staying busy with home projects and acts of service and feels that working with his hands relieves stress and helps him avoid getting lost in negative thought patterns.    Jeff doesn’t have a long-term goal in sobriety, he is just taking it day by day.  Right now, he just wants to be sober and process his emotions without alcohol and enjoy his family and the life he has built.   [47:57] Paul’s Summary   Socrates said the secret to change is to focus all your energy not on fighting the old but on building the new.  Mother Teresa said she would not participate in wars on hunger or on terrorism because there is an equal amount of disproportionate energy on the other side.  Much like we have seen with the war on drugs: trillions of dollars wasted to learn that you cannot punish addiction out of people.  If someone from Big Alcohol is listening, please don’t feel attacked, we want to work together in cleaning up the planet.   Resources Connect with Cafe RE - Use the promo code OPPORTUNITY to waive the set-up fee. Recovery Elevator YouTube - Subscribe here! Sobriety Tracker iTunes    Recovery Elevator This isn’t a no to alcohol, but a yes to a better life. I love you guys  
12/5/202251 minutes, 51 seconds
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RE 406: Moving the Needle

Episode 406 – Moving the Needle   Today we have Nate, Eric, Beth, Hunter, and Kathy.      Registration for Restore opens December 1. https://www.recoveryelevator.com/restore/   Sponsor:  https://www.recoveryelevator.com/cafere/   Highlights from Kris   Kris speaks to the many mixed messages we get about addiction. Billions of dollars are spent on alcohol advertising that lures you to believe how fun, cool, and sexy you will be if you drink, as long as you don’t become one of “those people.”   After Kris’s first session with an addiction specialist who shared her recovery journey with Kris, he felt less alone. Kris’ counselor gave him hope that there was a better way. He continued counseling, completed treatment, and found the Recovery Elevator podcast. Today he is one of the hosts.   One of the best ways to combat the stigma of addiction is to tell your story. Kris recently attended the 6th Annual Recovery Reinvented event founded by Kathryn Burgum, the first lady of North Dakota. Kris had an opportunity to hear Dr. Bruce Perry speak, who co-authored the book, “What Happened to You?” with Oprah Winfrey. Dr. Perry said that while the science, research, and statistics are fascinating, the storytelling inspires others to revisit their beliefs about addiction.   There are a few ways to tell your story: you can share in a recovery meeting, on a recovery podcast, give a testimony at your church, or post on Facebook or Instagram. You can also lead by example by passing on the cocktail at Happy Hour or telling your friends, “I don’t drink.”  Keep sharing your stories, RE – that’s how we will combat the stigma of addiction.   For more information on Recovery Reinvented, visit: www.recoveryreinvented.com   Book Reference:  https://www.amazon.com/What-Happened-You-Conversations-Resilience-ebook/dp/B087D5YQXB/ref=sr_1_1?crid=1IWMTJBKBOOZE&keywords=what+happened+to+you&qid=1669220153&s=digital-text&sprefix=what+happened+to+you%2Cdigital-text%2C448&sr=1-1   Better Help:  www.betterhelp.com/elevator - 10% off your first month. #sponsored                                                                               [11:25]    Nate loves to build community and peer support and does great things in North Dakota. As a transplant to ND, he was embraced by “North Dakota nice.”  He found recovery after multiple DUIs. He empowers students in recovery. He is passionate about being the change for others in his community.    [21:45] Eric is a physician and a professor and speaks to active addiction while practicing medicine. He has been in recovery for thirty years, and the services available were very different when he started. There are now programs available for clinicians in recovery that allow them to recover without losing their licensure. Eric now has excellent relationships and is happily married.   [27:34] Beth tried several approaches to recovery, and after witnessing a friend overdose, she could stack days. After six months of recovery, she got a job, and having someone believe in her made a huge difference in her life and recovery.    [33:15] Hunter has been sober for nine years and works in healthcare. He spent so much time wondering when the other shoe would drop. High functioning kept him in active addiction for awhile because he never missed work.    [40:58] Kathy is a mother of five, is a student and works. Her dreams include social work and foster parenting. Today she recovers out loud and advocates for other Native Americans with addiction and is a foster parent.    [47:40] Kris shares his gratitude for the opportunity to participate in Recovery Reinvented.   Upcoming events, retreats, and courses: You can find more information about our events   Resources Connect with Cafe RE - Use the promo code OPPORTUNITY to waive the set-up fee. Recovery Elevator YouTube - Subscribe here! Sobriety Tracker iTunes    Recovery Elevator- You are the only one who can do this, but you don’t have to do it alone. I love you guys.
11/28/202250 minutes, 9 seconds
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RE 405: Ahead of the Pack

Episode 405 – Ahead of the pack   Today we have Rachel.   She is 29, from Wisconsin, and took her last drink on September 4, 2022.   Registration for Restore opens December 1. https://www.recoveryelevator.com/restore/   Sponsor:  https://www.soberlink.com/   Highlights from Paul   Is there a stigma for those in recovery, or are we ahead of the pack? This past August, Paul invited Elaine Huang  mindfulness and spirituality teacher) to speak at the RE Bozeman retreat. Elaine shared with Paul that those ditching the booze are ahead of the pack. She never has to modify or simply her course content for Café RE members. Members of our group are advanced students; they are more resilient, elite, and have a greater capacity for love and a greater capacity for recovery after pain & suffering. Elaine referred to us as “old souls .”The recovery community has a greater capacity for survival, compassion, and love.    Elaine believes our population is part of the 1% of people who can achieve a higher level of consciousness, vibration, and frequency:  the frequency of love.   Feel free to watch this video from a neuroscientist, Dr. Joe Dispenza. https://youtu.be/Ov3aeqjeih0   Deepak Chopra says, “it takes as little as 1% of a population to create positive change, and I believe that if 100 million people underwent a personal transformation in the direction of peace, harmony, laughter, love, kindness, and joy...the world would be transformed.”   Transcendental Meditation teacher Maharishi Mahesh predicted that only one percent of humanity is needed to create enough good vibrations to usher in world peace.  (https://www.naturalawakenings.com/2018/11/30/224480/a-global-wake-up-call-collective-consciousness-nears-spiritual-tipping-point)   For more information on Elaine Huang:  Elaine Huang - Embodiment of Freedom: https://www.mayyouawaken.com/   Better Help:  www.betterhelp.com/elevator - 10% off your first month. #sponsored                                                                               [12:30]    Rachel has been sober for over thirty days. She is still struggling and hasn’t experienced a pink cloud yet. She is experiencing a lot of depersonalization, but she is hopeful. She loves singing, live music, nature, hiking, and playing the ukulele. Rachel struggles with PTSD. She has a partner and two kids.    Rachel identifies with the gifted kid burnout syndrome. She excelled in school but struggled to embrace her feelings, given some of her struggles at home. She was high functioning in high school: in clubs and the National Honor Society. As a DARE kid, she was afraid of drugs and alcohol. She described having a second life and drinking to impress people. Rachel believed alcohol helped her to fit in. She graduated from high school early and traveled to India. She had to abstain in India. When she went to college, drinking was a social lubricant.   She went to work drunk and high. Rachel described drinking as letting out a sigh.    Pregnancies led Rachel to a sober stint. She was doing well until the pandemic hit. Rachel’s rock bottom moment was blacking out while reading a bedtime story to her daughter. Since her father and grandfather struggled with addictions, she decided it was time for the addiction cycle to end.   Singing, yoga, and cold exposure spike Rachel’s dopamine which helps her maintain her sobriety. Rachel is mindful of potential relapse and knows that self-compassion is essential.    [50:48] Paul’s Summary   Paul wonders if the stigma exists. We yearn for authenticity, and when we connect, that authenticity is reciprocated. The stigma is often in our minds. People in recovery make lasting changes that can influence others to do the same.   Upcoming events, retreats, and courses: You can find more information about our events   Resources Connect with Cafe RE - Use the promo code OPPORTUNITY to waive the set-up fee. Recovery Elevator YouTube - Subscribe here! Sobriety Tracker iTunes    Recovery Elevator- It all starts from the inside out. I love you guys.
11/21/202253 minutes, 43 seconds
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RE 404: The Order of Healing

Episode 404 – The order of healing   Today we have Natasha.   She is 43, from Vancouver, B.C, and took her last drink on August 23, 2021.   Book:  Alcohol is Sh!t. https://www.amazon.com/Alcohol-is-Sht-Paul-Churchill-audiobook/   Exact Nature:  https://exactnature.com/RE20   Highlights from Paul   Paul outlines the order of healing when we quit drinking. He describes the healing as happening in reverse order of the harm done. You can do the following:   Ditch the booze Fuel the body with healthy food and hydrate Cut down on sugar and caffeine Move (aim for 20 mins a day 3x a week) Recovery – AA, Café RE, Smart Recovery, IOP, etc.   Book:  The All-Day Energy Diet. https://amzn.to/3CmLivc   The healing process:   The body (3-12 months) Mental healing (6 months to 1.5 years) Spiritual healing   Better Help:  www.betterhelp.com/elevator - 10% off your first month. #sponsored                                                                               [11:04]  Natasha has been sober for over a year.   She is in medical sales, has a son, and enjoys friends, bingo, travel, and hiking.   Natasha was afraid of alcohol during her early years. She would dump out beer and pretend to be drunk to avoid social pressure. After her son was born, she had six beers during a concert. As she approached thirty, she drank after work with her co-workers in the restaurant industry. At 35, she knew her drinking was a problem.   Socializing and drinking was a big part of her job. Her relationship wasn’t healthy because they drank together, and Natasha could outdrink her partner.   Sobriety has taught Natasha that none of her fears about quitting drinking were true; liquid courage is a myth. She is funny and entertaining with her clients. Her relationships have more meaning, and she can be present.   She describes the first year as brutal. After a boozy weekend with girls, Natasha knew it was time to quit. She dumped out a wine cooler, and that was it. She was angry at people who could drink normally and isolated herself a bit. Now she recognizes she can enjoy her life without the chaos of alcohol. Boundaries have become necessary, and she enjoys spending time alone. Reading, listening to podcasts, and meditation have helped her maintain her sobriety. Natasha’s relationships have evolved and grown. She lost some friends along the way, but her core group supports her sobriety.   [58:51] Kris’s Summary   Kris has been getting his garage in order. He recognized that he was comfortable with the chaos until he hit a tipping point. Cleaning the garage has so many parallels to recovery. Kris was overwhelmed, but he did the next right thing, took it slow, and now everything is clean, organized, and easy to navigate.    Upcoming events, retreats, and courses: You can find more information about our events   Resources Connect with Cafe RE - Use the promo code OPPORTUNITY to waive the set-up fee. Recovery Elevator YouTube - Subscribe here! Sobriety Tracker iTunes    Recovery Elevator- We are the only ones who can do this, but we don’t have to do it alone. I love you guys.
11/14/20221 hour, 3 minutes, 16 seconds
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RE 403: Hello Universe

Episode 403 – Hello Universe   Many Today we have Pat.   He is 38, from Georgia, and he took his last drink on February 22, 2022.   Events:  https://recoveryelevator.com/events Exact Nature:  https://exactnature.com/re20   Highlights from Paul   The opposite of addiction is connection. Near-death experiences often connect us to a higher power and make us question where we go after we die. In today’s episode, Paul shares his views on spirituality and connecting with a higher power.   Addiction disconnects us from the external world and from within. Paul reminds us we are not alone:  we are connected to every living on the planet. Love, connection, inclusivity, and wholeness.   Better Help:  www.betterhelp.com/elevator - 10% off your first month. #sponsored                                                                               [13:14]  Pat got sober on 2/22/22 and planned his sobriety date as a military child who has lived in many places. He is married, loves archery, plays guitar, writes music, and sells hearing aids.      Pat began experimenting with alcohol at 15. He learned in college he could drink a lot. He was frequently the last one standing. Initially, he drank to get a buzz. He avoided eating to enhance his buzz. In college, he got a DUI.   Pat drank to feel normal. He never had a true rock bottom moment.    In 2020, Pat stopped drinking for six months, knowing he and his wife wanted to conceive. He switched from whiskey to beer. Quickly it snuck back into his life.    Pat’s wife began going to Al-Anon. He burned the ships on social media and garnered support from friends and family. After a physical, he had some bad results, including elevated liver enzymes. He was encouraged to go to inpatient rehab.   He ultimately tapered. His doctor prescribed medications to help him overcome anxiety. The first two weeks of detox were painful.   After the physical challenges dissipated, things became much more manageable. His family and friends supported him. He realizes he doesn’t need alcohol to get through the highs and lows of everyday life.   The RE podcast, audiobooks, and the Café RE Facebook group are his favorite recovery tools, and he is excited that he and his wife are expecting their first child.   [49:20] Paul’s Summary   Book recommendations Reality Unveiled:  https://amzn.to/3CxrVQg The seat of the Soul: https://amzn.to/3z0phBJ Many lives many masters:  https://amzn.to/3rQ6QLS   The concepts in these books help Paul to feel connected. The knowledge is the precursor to feeling the way Paul needs to feel to stay sober.    Upcoming events, retreats, and courses: You can find more information about our events   Resources Connect with Cafe RE - Use the promo code OPPORTUNITY to waive the set-up fee. Recovery Elevator YouTube - Subscribe here! Sobriety Tracker iTunes    Recovery Elevator- Go big because eventually, we all go home. I love you guys.
11/7/202251 minutes, 32 seconds
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RE 402: What to Expect

Today we have Emily.   She is 34, from Cincinnati,  OH and took her last drink on Aug 27th, 2022. Happy Halloween. A drink won’t make your overall Halloween experience better. Exact Nature:  https://exactnature.com/RE 20   Recovery Reinvented Link: https://recoveryreinvented.com/events/2022/#overview   Highlights from Paul All emotions are created equal and you need them all equally. Here is why. In the world of duality we need opposites for defining purposes. I want to tie this into recovery one more time. Do not gauge your recovery success on your emotions. You will feel them all. Yes, do more of what you enjoy, but thank the other side of that for telling you what you don’t enjoy. Better Help:  www.betterhelp.com/elevator – 10% off your first month. #sponsored [11:35]  Emily is married and has 2 little boys, ages 5 and 8.  She runs a bar in downtown Cincinnati.  Emily enjoys being crafty and making stuff.    Emily doesn’t remember seeing any unhealthy alcohol behavior in her home while growing up.  Emily was 13 the first time she got drunk.  20 years old and in college Emily got her first bartending job.  She met her husband working in the bar in Cincinnati and they have now been together for 13 years.    After having her first baby Emily got out of bartending and into alcohol sales.  This escalated her drinking.  She then got pregnant with her 2nd and went back to bartending after that.  As her kids got older there was more drinking and drugs…while still getting up and taking care of her kids and responsibilities.      January 2021 Emily quit drinking for 5 months.  This year Emily changed jobs, started working at a new bar with good friends.  Emily was approaching 1 month sober at the time of her interview.    Ben’s Friends https://www.bensfriendshope.com/   Kris’s Summary   Recovery Reinvented - The event will be held in person on November 3 in Grand Forks North Dakota. But if you can’t make it to Grand Forks, don’t worry, the event is available online as well! It’s 100% FREE to attend. www.recoveryreinvented.com.    
10/31/20221 hour, 1 minute, 1 second
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RE 401: Welcome Back

Episode 401 – Welcome Back   Today we have Jen.   She is 52, from Connecticut, and took her last drink on March 10th, 2022.   Restore: https://www.recoveryelevator.com/restore/   Better Help:  www.betterhelp.com/elevator - 10% off your first month. #sponsored   Highlights from Paul In episode 391, Paul asked listeners what they wanted to hear. Jeff L, with 5 years alcohol-free (That’s what’s up!) said he wanted to hear from past guests. Great idea Jeff as we are also curious as to where they are now.   Paul gives updates from 15 past guests. [20:30] Jen lives in Connecticut, has 2 kids (21 & 23), and just recently got a new job as a counselor at a treatment center. Jen had her 1st drink at 13 years old playing quarters, which resulted in her blacking out and being sick for 3 days. She says that was a sign of what was to come and that drinking was never fun for her. At 19 she started thinking she was an alcoholic and became a daily drinker. Jen was sober for 10 years (and then another 8 years). Those first 10 years were spent in the rooms of AA and it took 7 years before she was able to get sober again. After losing her husband suddenly to a heart attack in 2018 Jen started drinking. Again Jen found herself going to treatment again (4 different treatment centers since her husband died). Jen is now sober and back in the rooms of AA.                                                                               Musical submission from The Alex.      Upcoming events, retreats, and courses: You can find more information about our events   Resources Connect with Cafe RE - Use the promo code OPPORTUNITY to waive the set-up fee. Recovery Elevator YouTube - Subscribe here! Sobriety Tracker iTunes    Recovery Elevator- We are the only ones who can do this, but you don’t have to do it alone. I love you guys.
10/24/20221 hour, 6 minutes
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RE 400: Chasing a Carrot on a Stick

Episode 400 – Chasing a Carrot on a Stick   Today we have Nick.   He is from Vancouver, B.C, and took her last drink on December 7, 2018.   Recovery Elevator website: https://www.recoveryelevator.com/ Soberlink:  https:///www.soberlink.com/   Highlights from Kris   Kris speaks to the crossroads of recovery. He acknowledges that so many new thoughts, podcasts, tools, mindsets, books, and videos on recovery. Then there is real life with an equal number of views, podcasts, and tools, on how to meet deadlines, be a great husband and father, a great worker, and a good friend.   With all these different concepts flying at us and life asking us to show up, how do you handle recovery and life simultaneously? For Kris, the crossroads show up often, and he has come to appreciate them as options. He has also learned that the best way to handle all possibilities is to sit with them, observe them and refrain from acting immediately. Krist describes this practice as combining mindfulness and refraining. Kris is working on finding peace and comfort where he is today. He will continue to take in new options and ideas but recognizes he doesn’t have to chase everything in front of him. When he can slow down, he can appreciate where he is. Kris can also acknowledge where he is feeling discomfort and focus on the pain rather than shifting his attention to something else.   Kris asks himself, “what am I doing with the time I have right now?”  Kris encourages listeners to stay curious, act with intention, and show ourselves grace along the way.   Better Help:  www.betterhelp.com/elevator - 10% off your first month. #sponsored                                                                               [9:02]  Nick was on Episode 220 and has been sober for nearly four years. He is 36, married, lives in Vancouver, works at a university, and enjoys gardening because plants don’t talk back.    Growing up, Nick’s parents regularly drank with dinner, but not to excess. He had the occasional sip from his parent’s drink but wasn’t fascinated by alcohol. Nick remembers struggling with depression, anxiety, and feeling out of place at age 16. His peers seemed to have dreams and ambitions, and he was a mediocre student without aspirations. Alcohol took that anxiety away like a warm hug.    Alcohol helped Nick feel less awkward and became a gateway to who he wanted to be. Nick felt in control of his drinking until he moved to Vancouver, which became his primary comfort source. His father had a stroke, and that changed his life. He sought out ways to drink when he was away from his family. Slowly, he noticed his drinking progress until it felt like it consumed him, and he was out of control. At many points, he decided to quit, but each of those times, he had a lot of alcohol in his system, so the commitment was forgotten or ignored. He hated himself and his life, but outwardly he faked it as a functioning human. Alcohol was his only coping mechanism.   Nick joined Café RE in December, and it finally stuck. A Craig Ferguson monologue became an epiphany for Nick. He started seeing a therapist and began to process some of his issues. His drinking ramped up, but the seeds were planted to put the bottle down. Nick found the Recovery Elevator podcast and listened to stories until he could see the similarities. Recognizing others have done this and that there was hope helped him get through years of day one’s promises and trying different things.   Kris’s Summary   Kris thanks and congratulates Paul on 400 episodes. Kris has experienced healing and alignment with his values and can now be of service. This community is amazing, and its ripple effect is phenomenal.    Upcoming events, retreats, and courses: You can find more information about our events   Resources Connect with Cafe RE - Use the promo code OPPORTUNITY to waive the set-up fee. Recovery Elevator YouTube - Subscribe here! Sobriety Tracker iTunes    Recovery Elevator- We took the elevator down. We can take the stairs back up. I love you guys.
10/17/20221 hour, 2 minutes, 50 seconds
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RE 399: What’s the Hardest Thing About Quitting Drinking?

Episode 399 – What’s the hardest part about quitting drinking?   Today we have Zita.   She is 31, from Minnesota, and took her last drink on November 27, 2021.   Restore: https://www.recoveryelevator.com/restore/   Highlights from Paul   An AF life is overall better than drinking.  The key word is overall.  Quitting drinking is the hardest thing Paul has ever done, and, it’s the best decision he’s ever made.    Not quitting is harder on you than you realize.  The domino effect of addiction cascades to your health, your relationships, your livelihood, and your sense of well-being.   Those rock bottoms get worse and hit new depths that create despair, shame and helplessness.  The decision to quit drinking can be harder when you don’t have those rock bottom moments, but you still have that voice in your head telling you, it’s time.  Quitting isn’t easy, particularly in the beginning, but it has its own set of dominos, the path toward a better life.   The hardest part about quitting drinking isn’t the withdrawals or burning the ships.  It’s entering the path of the unknown:  infinite possibilities exist.   You can put the shovel down at any time.    Better Help:  www.betterhelp.com/elevator - 10% off your first month. #sponsored                                                                               [12:26]  Zita is an ICU nurse.  She loves cooking, travel, rollerblading, movies, and getting her nails done.  She is headed back to school to become a nurse practitioner.   Zita’s relationship with alcohol started in her early teens.  She was a normal drinker through college.  She drank a lot, but it never impacted her school, her relationships, or her ability to function.  After college, she started working and a few years in she noticed having anxiety when she was around people which was a shift.  After a breakup, she started using alcohol to cope with her emotions.    Zita’s family members spoke with her about her drinking, intervention style.  She thought about slowing down but quitting never occurred to her at that point.   Upon continued reflection, Zita realized she had some unprocessed trauma.  She tried naltrexone, Antabuse and Women for Sobriety.  Nothing was working.  She shifted her approach to working on mental health and took a month off work and started DBT (dialectical behavioral therapy) treatment.  Mental health support gave her new tools to shift her mindset.  The first few months were hard and she nearly relapsed, but she gained some momentum.    Today, Zita feels great.  She has gained assertiveness, confidence and learned to develop boundaries.  She doesn’t have her “old self” back, she has a better life.  Zita is proud that she has learned to manage her emotions more effectively.  Looking forward, Zita is excited about graduating.  She focused her education on mental health, and she looks forward to making broader contributions with her new knowledge.   Paul’s Summary   Paul believes you are about to bloom.  Nobody exists without a purpose in the universe.  Things under pressure produce new results; rocks under pressure become diamonds.  The blooming has already begun.   [47:21] Musical submission from The Aquerials.      Upcoming events, retreats, and courses: You can find more information about our events   Resources Connect with Cafe RE - Use the promo code OPPORTUNITY to waive the set-up fee. Recovery Elevator YouTube - Subscribe here! Sobriety Tracker iTunes    Recovery Elevator- We are the only ones who can do this, but you don’t have to do it alone. I love you guys.
10/10/202249 minutes, 58 seconds
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RE 398: This Moment Always Wins

Episode 398 - This Moment Always Wins   Today we have Adam.   He is 30, from Vancouver, and took his last drink on February 8, 2013.   We have many upcoming events:   Costa Rica For Info:  https://www.recoveryelevator.com/events/   Highlights from Paul   Paul celebrated his eight-year recovery milestone and is thankful for all the support he gets from listeners, family, friends, and the Café RE community.    Paul’s insights include:  alcohol is sh!t; addiction is an invitation to make a sweeping change in your life; burning the ships is part of the journey; the opposite of addiction is connection; focus on the wins; admit you are wrong when you need to, in real-time; you have to take action; don’t worry about the sobriety clock, keep doing the work; join the party - the AF movement is taking off; be kind to others, help others; be of service; leverage your drinking problem to expand your life; be mindful of the company you keep; there is nothing wrong with you;  not drinking makes you a bad-ass;   Better Help:  www.betterhelp.com/elevator - 10% off your first month. #sponsored                                                                               [13:26]  Adam has been sober for nearly ten years. He is a personal trainer, nutritionist, breathwork therapist, mental health, and sober coach. He loves cold plunges, spending time in nature, traveling, and spending time with his dogs.   Adam grew up in Vancouver and was exposed to addiction early on. He was bullied a lot in high school, which led to anxiety, depression, and insecurity. He was 13 the first time he drank or smoked weed. He knew it wasn’t smart, but it gave him a sense of community. With a long family history of alcohol abuse, Adam knew he was in trouble the first time he drank.   Adam got his apartment and car at age 15. He made poor decisions, including steroids, drinking, cocaine, being in a gang, and smoking. After a death threat, he moved to another province, got a job, and his drug use escalated. He sold drugs, and it was attractive to him at the time. He was stabbed during a fight. At 16, a buddy of his died in his arms. Steroid use caused Adam to default to anger frequently. He was aggressive.   Adam said it took at least ten wake-up calls before he was ready to address his addiction. He was exposed to a lot of violence and death with the people he spent time with.   At 19, during a drug deal, he was kidnapped and held captive by some bad people. During that incident, he had an out-of-body experience. When he was released, he was hospitalized. He crashed when in the hospital. A spiritual awakening occurred for Adam. Adam described it as powerful, and it continues to inspire him to live a better life. The last time he used it was on his 21st birthday. He called his Mom, and she let him come home.    The first two years of sobriety were the hardest for Adam. He had lots of PTSD from his gang experience. He had two suicide attempts. Adam went to his first AA meeting. A person said to him,  “If you kill yourself today, you are killing the wrong person because you don’t know the person who you can become.”  Breathwork became a big part of his recovery. Learning to accept and demonstrate his emotions was challenging, but Adam continues to learn to manage his feelings. He worked the steps. He saw a psychologist/neurologist and was diagnosed with severe brain injury, PTSD, anxiety, and depression. None of the medications helped. Breathwork and exercise help him manage his anxiety and depression.    [57:50] Kris’ Summary   After a rough week, Kris remembered, “you don’t have to get sober for the rest of your life today.”  Trust the process.    Upcoming events, retreats, and courses: You can find more information about our events   Resources Connect with Cafe RE - Use the promo code OPPORTUNITY to waive the set-up fee. Recovery Elevator YouTube - Subscribe here! Sobriety Tracker iTunes    Recovery Elevator- We are the only ones who can do this, but you don’t have to do it alone. I love you guys.
10/3/20221 hour
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RE 397: The Ultimate Connection

Episode 397  - The Ultimate Connection   Today we have Santino.   He is 43, from Massachusetts, and took his last drink 43 days ago.   We have many upcoming events:   AF Photo Class Restore Regionals Ukulele Costa Rica For Info:  https://www.recoveryelevator.com/events/   Highlights from Paul   Paul shares that our actions are felt for seven generations in our lineage.  When you quit drinking, do the inner work, the ripple effect can last 150 years.   Eckhart Tolle defines love as recognizing oneness in a world of duality. The ego craves separation, judgements. When we are drinking, we are reinforcing that divide. The worst side effect of alcohol is isolation. But when we drop the bottle,  we give ourselves a chance to find love, or maybe let love find us.   Congratulations Dusty and Lotus on your recent nuptials.   Love yourself and love yourself first.  Love in recovery can be rediscovering nature, it can be planting a garden, it can be zipping around on a one wheel, it can be learning a new instrument, picking up an old instrument. It can be laughter.   Make sure to stay tuned to the end of the episode. Our outro music is from one of our Café Re members, Ron.   Better Help:  www.betterhelp.com/elevator - 10% off your first month. #sponsored                                                                               [9:50]  Santino works for a nonprofit homeless organization; he is married with a son and enjoys being a father.   Being present, in the moment and the ability to remember the moment are the early perks of sobriety for Santino.   His first taste of alcohol was at age 10.  He took a sip of his Dad’s drink and enjoyed the taste.    Paul and Santino discussed how college culture and military culture both celebrate drinking.  Santino said his drinking was normalized because of the culture of drinking in the military.    His wake up calls around drinking came when he left the military.  He got his first DWI and went to court ordered AA.  He drank before and after the meetings.    Santino noticed a pattern of lying, about all kinds of things, but particularly about what he was drinking, when and how much.  AA is now part of his life.  He has learned to say “alcoholic” to be accountable for what was happening with him.  He is well informed about withdrawal and his most recent experience was painful and a reckoning.  Santino encourages listeners to be honest with themselves.  Give yourself grace AND accountability.  He did a 72 hour fast.  He listens to the Recovery Elevator podcast.  He burned the ships with his childhood friend, his sister and his wife.    The Uvalde shooting had a major impact on Santino and became an impetus for him to quit drinking.    [55:20] Paul’s Summary   Paul introduces Ron who is a musician  who wrote and performed today’s outro music.    [56:51] We walk each other home.   Upcoming events, retreats, and courses: You can find more information about our events   Resources Connect with Cafe RE - Use the promo code OPPORTUNITY to waive the set-up fee. Recovery Elevator YouTube - Subscribe here! Sobriety Tracker iTunes    Recovery Elevator- We took the elevator down.  We need to take the stairs back up. I love you guys.
9/26/202258 minutes, 32 seconds
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RE 396: The Brain and Alcohol | Genetic Predisposition

Episode 396  - The Brain and Alcohol – Genetic Predisposition   Today we have Rene.   He is 33, from California, and took his last drink January 18, 2022.   Register for RE’s AF Photo Class:  https://www.recoveryelevator.com/afphoto/   SoberLink:  https://www.soberlink.com/recovery-elevator   Highlights from Paul   Alcohol has many biochemical and neurochemical effects on the brain. There are dramatic changes in the neurons that control the release of serotonin when we consume alcohol. Serotonin is the feel-good chemical and 80% of it is created in the gut. When we mix alcohol and serotonin it gets converted into acetaldehyde. This acetaldehyde acts as a toxin.   Alcohol changes the relationship between the hypothalamus, the pituitary gland, and the adrenals.  The adrenals release chemicals called epinephrine and cortisol, which are involved in the longer-term stress response.   People who consistently drink are more stressed out at baseline. They have more cortisol released form their adrenal glands even when they are not drinking. Consequently, they feel more stressed and more anxiety when they are not drinking. Many scientists agree that stress is the number one contributor to disease.   When we overload the brain with alcohol, it’s almost too much to process and the activity of neurons in the hippocampus, which is involved with memory formation, are strained and then they completely shut off – that is a blackout.  You can still be functioning, some high functioning, but the memory forming part of your brain, the hippocampus, clocks out.   Many believe that alcoholism is hereditary.  Recent studies, including one of twins conducted by Dr. Gabor Mate indicate genetics may not be as much of a contributor as we once thought.  Epigenetics indicate that environment influences gene expression and gene mutations.  Science is beginning to accept that environmental factors cause or influence addictions.  The ten-fold increase in alcoholism supports that theory.     Dr. Andrew Huberman’s podcast provides much more detail on the science behind many of these theories.  Take a listen if you would like to learn more:  https://open.spotify.com/episode/2ebY3WNejLNbK47emgjd1E?si=bf71f9f038bc4826   Better Help:  www.betterhelp.com/elevator - 10% off your first month. #sponsored                                                                               [14:37]  Rene has been sober for over six months. He is 34 and a single Dad He is an entrepreneur and enjoys going to the gym, exploring the outdoors, hiking and the beach.   Rene is first generation American, and his family is very supportive.  He grew up around drinking, it was normalized.    He got drunk once during his senior year of high school.  He didn’t drink again until after he broke up with his first girlfriend years later. Drinking became a reward, then it became a daily habit.  Working in the restaurant industry, drinking was expected.  He was fired once for drinking.    It didn’t occur to Rene that drinking was a problem.  He began counseling and the counselor recommended AA.  Rene found it easy to see the similarities; he felt like he found his people.  He was planning to join the military when he learned he was about to become a father.  Eventually, he won sole custody of his daughter which dashed his hopes of joining the military.  The combination of issues sent him back to drinking.  He controlled his drinking for over a year, and it worked until it didn’t.   Rene went back to AA and got a sponsor and a fitness coach.  Consistency helps him maintain his sobriety.  He is feeling mentally and physically strong.     [57:35] Kris’s Summary   Seasonal shifts can put you on edge.  Share your experience: [email protected].   Upcoming events, retreats, and courses: You can find more information about our events   Resources Connect with Cafe RE - Use the promo code OPPORTUNITY to waive the set-up fee. Recovery Elevator YouTube - Subscribe here! Sobriety Tracker iTunes    Recovery Elevator- We took the elevator down.  We need to take the stairs back up. I love you guys.
9/19/20221 hour, 49 seconds
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RE 395: Can You Have Fun Without Alcohol?

Episode 395  - Can you have fun without alcohol?   Today we have Jim.   He is 50, from New York, and has been sober since June 19, 2022.   Curious Elixirs:  https://curiouselixirs.com/   Highlights from Paul   Paul and our listeners would like to hear from prior podcast guests. Please send us a note (approximately 200 words) to let us know how you are doing. We would love an update on your sobriety journey.     Email:  [email protected]   Yes!   You can have fun without alcohol. Paul just finished hosting the Bozeman retreat, and it was FUN. One of the highlights was an ecstatic dance party. Imagine 60ish sober people dancing on a basketball court in the afternoon.   There was also a silent dance party on the last night. Paul loved watching and participating in pure joy and fun.    Sober fun is a learned skill, but it’s worth it.   You learn to have fun without an external substance. Life is like a movie. Consider yourself the director. You can guide or nudge it any way you want. Leave room for other actors in your life and let them act their way. It makes the experience rich. If you are not having fun, check your inner narrative. At times we let external rules guide us when we have fun. Forget those rules and have fun now.   Stay tuned to the end for a poem written by one of our listeners, and today’s outro music was written and performed by Michael P, a member of Café RE.   Better Help:  www.betterhelp.com/elevator - 10% off your first month. #sponsored                                                                               [10:02]  Jim has been sober for two weeks. He had almost two years and drank, and now he is back on track. He’s had 699 sober days in the last 700. Jim is married with two kids and loves reading on his front porch.    Jim attributes his recent field research to not using his tools.   Growing up, Jim drank in high school with his buddies. The quest for beer was their primary goal. College was more of the same. After college, it didn’t feel as good. Drinking is part of his work culture and was celebrated. His first attempt at sobriety was at age 25. He stayed sober for three months, then returned to drinking. It was part of his job, his social circles, and his life always included drinking. Alcohol pushed back his fears.   In his early 40s, he started to realize he had a problem but didn’t know how to go about quitting. He didn’t love AA. By 45, he knew his drinking had become unsustainable. Drinking was like a low-grade hum that perpetually played for him. He began drinking alone at home, where nobody would bother him, and he could drink like he wanted.    Gradually he began exploring sobriety. He would accumulate a few months and do more field research. He read “This Naked Mind.”  When the pandemic hit, he decided to make more efforts to maintain sobriety. He joined Café RE in July of 2020, which was his turning point. Earlier this year, he started traveling more for work. He now realizes he stopped using his tools, including Café RE. He only drank for one day. It was scary; he was a wreck and knew he couldn’t do this anymore.    Jim writes every day. It helps him get the thoughts out of his head and on paper.   [49:33]  Paul’s Summary   Paul reads a poem, “Connection,” by Kelley A, Café RE Go Group.   [51:05] Outro Music, The Light Inside, by Michael P.    Upcoming events, retreats, and courses: You can find more information about our events   Resources Connect with Cafe RE - Use the promo code OPPORTUNITY to waive the set-up fee. Recovery Elevator YouTube - Subscribe here! Sobriety Tracker iTunes    Recovery Elevator- We are the only ones who can do this, but we don’t have to do it alone. I love you guys.
9/12/202254 minutes, 25 seconds
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RE 394: Fixin' to Grow

Episode 394  - Fixin’ to Grow   Today we have Kristie.   She is 47, from Michigan, and has been sober since May 2020.   Ditch the Booze/Mindfulness and AF Photography 101:  https://www.recoveryelevator.com/cafere/   Highlights from Kris   Return to school is here and is the catalyst for conversations about expectations. Growing up, the letter on the report card was the measure of success. Kris has begun to consider praising the work instead of the result.    Neuroscientists have identified two different mindsets:  the fixed mindset and the growth mindset. A fixed mindset looks at intelligence as static. The effort is pointless – you’ve got it, or you don’t. It’s all about the result. The growth mindset is more about a learning goal. The effort is seen as a path to mastery.    What is your goal in recovery? Language matters. Think about the metrics. If you are fixed on being alcohol-free and have a slip, you might feel like a failure. Embrace the growth in yourself and let that be enough.    Better Help:  www.betterhelp.com/elevator - 10% off your first month. #sponsored                                                                               [11:29]  Kristie has been surise for two years. The word sober doesn’t resonate with Kristy. She wants to be fun and exciting and enjoy every moment. Kristie believes that language creates our reality. Through journaling, she came up with the word surise – it brings her energy, light, and love. Kristie believes surise is yours – the opportunity to be your authentic self.   Kristie is from West Michigan and is an academic advisor. She is married and has two daughters. She loves traveling, the beach, the woods, nature, and connecting with people.   Growing up, her parents rarely drank, but they did smoke. After her parents’ divorce, she assumed much responsibility for her younger brothers. She was the conduit between her parents. She was involved in theater, student government, and dancing.    Kristie went to college and was ready to rescind the role of the responsible oldest child. Earning a degree was essential to Kristie. She went to school and partied and enjoyed drinking and being social. She adopted the work hard, play hard mentality and always drank to get a buzz. She put herself into some risky situations and was raped. Alcohol helped numb the pain, and she learned to carry on.   Kristie met her husband in college, and drinking was part of their relationship. Drinking was a coping mechanism for the stress of parenting. Over the years, her drinking progressed from beer to wine to vodka.   After her father died, Kristie’s drinking became very dark. Drinking was a reward, a way to avoid loneliness, and it served many purposes.   Several years ago, Kristie’s husband announced that he was planning to quit drinking.   He did, and she couldn’t follow suit. After her father-in-law died, they were both drinking again and went backward. Kristie read “This Naked Mind” and listened to Annie Grace’s podcast. Paul Churchill was Annie’s guest, and something clicked for Kristie. She could hear herself in other people’s stories. She joined Café RE in 2020 and went to her first women’s AA meeting. She quit drinking for several months and returned to drinking when the pandemic began. In May of ’20, she found a small group of RE members all over the US, and they held each other accountable.    Kris’s Summary   Look at your mindset. Ask yourself without judgment, are you holding on to absolutes? What is your measure of success? Do you find joy in the results or the process? Wherever you are is okay. Show yourself grace. Change the narrative. Surrender to the process. Let go of old ideas.   Upcoming events, retreats, and courses: You can find more information about our events   Resources Connect with Cafe RE - Use the promo code OPPORTUNITY to waive the set-up fee. Recovery Elevator YouTube - Subscribe here! Sobriety Tracker iTunes    Recovery Elevator- We are the only ones who can do this, but we don’t have to do it alone. I love you guys.
9/5/20221 hour, 24 seconds
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RE 393: Hello Listeners

Episode 393  - Hello Listeners   Today we have Alina.   She is 32, from Northern California, and has been sober since June 20, 2022.   Fire Brew:  https://www.drinkfirebrew.com/ Ditch the Booze/Mindfulness:  https://www.recoveryelevator.com/cafere/   Highlights from Paul   If you are in a cycle of continuous Day ones, keep showing up and listening to the podcast. We believe in you.   If you have quit drinking, don't forget incredible short memory can get us any time. Don't look back. That old way of life didn't work. Keep building the new.   If you are a normal drinker here to support someone, we are glad you are here. The opposite of addiction is connection, and we appreciate your support. The healing process is a collaborative effort that requires both parties to come together.    If you are in your teens or twenties, you are learning vital lessons and building resilience. When the dust settles, and your normal drinker friends begin to phase out of the party years as they marry and have kids, you will have acquired unique life skills that your friends don't have. Your unique skills revolve around presence, listening to your intuition, taking life as it comes, loving yourself and others.   You're more grounded. Your roots go deeper. Also, be patient. I think it's harder to quit drinking at a younger age, but with time, and each year around the sun, some of those challenges get easier. Time is working in your favor.   If you treat or support someone who struggles with, what is addiction? Addictions are adaptive behaviors leveraged to survive in unhealthy environments. Addictions are present when something is out of balance or not in harmony with our environment.   Keep the thinking mind in check. The mind has 60,00-70,000 thoughts per day, and science has shown that most of them are not valid. Keep doing the inner work, find your people, and show the world how it's done.   Better Help:  www.betterhelp.com/elevator - 10% off your first month. #sponsored                                                                               [13:04]  Alina has been sober for two weeks. She has three kids, loves being outside, cooking, and reading. She immigrated to the US from Ukraine, is the youngest of seven, and had her first drink at age 16. Growing up, she had the impression that an alcoholic was someone who drank every day.   In 2018, Alina had her first blackout. She resolved to do something different. She listened to "This Naked Mind" by Annie Grace. Moderation never worked. During the pandemic, Alina went on vacation to Mexico and drank daily. Alina continued to learn about recovery, and she learned to see the similarities in other people's stories. She is an active member of Café RE and enjoys the chats.   Paul's Summary   Listeners, stick together. Choose love over fear. Choose peace over being right. If the conditions are right, we bloom as a species. If the conditions aren't right, we don't. Humans are so close to blooming on a large scale, and addiction is fast-forwarding this process. Addiction forces us to surrender, open up, and say yes to the flow of life.   Upcoming events, retreats, and courses: You can find more information about our events   Resources Connect with Cafe RE - Use the promo code OPPORTUNITY to waive the set-up fee. Recovery Elevator YouTube - Subscribe here! Sobriety Tracker iTunes    Recovery Elevator- Lighten Up. I love you guys.
8/29/202256 minutes, 43 seconds
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RE 392: One Week Without Alcohol

Episode 392  - One Week Without Alcohol.   Today we have Megan.   She is 34, from Florida, and has been sober since June 22, 2021.   Gruvi: https://www.getgruvi.com/   Highlights from Paul   Stacking days, which is a day here, and a couple of days there, is fantastic, but your body and mind will respond faster to continuous sobriety, and I think a week is the most doable chunk of time. I know for me, even 30 days was overwhelming.   Day 1:  Drink water, then more water. Eat at least one full, healthy meal. Your body is detoxing today. Anxiety is part of this. Embrace the process. Remember the pain. Exercise will help with sleep. Sleep won't be great, and night sweats are expected. Expect cravings, and ice cream is your friend.   Day 2:  Expect to be tired, exhausted, and anxious. Drink water, sleep, eat ice cream and worry about sugar later.   Day 3:  Sleep should improve and welcome back appetite. Eat a healthy breakfast.   Day 4:  Your body is healing. Drink water, sleep and eat (sugar does help with cravings.)   Day 5:  What happened? You may be sleeping better, and you are hungry. Eat some healthy food and don't worry about calories. Your brain is coming back on, which has two sides:  your cognition is better, and the thinking mind is on overdrive.   Day 6:  Your confidence is building, and your energy begins to return. Inflammation begins to dissipate.   Day 7:  Sleep! Cellular restoration. Mental clarity improves.   Tips for week one:   Drink plenty of water Exercise for at least 20 minutes. It gets endorphins going Eat at least one meal with healthy greens Put pen to paper and capture your insights Remember, it's a week and not forever.   Seven days is the start of the healing process. Your seven days await – go get 'em.    Paul describes PAWS (Post Acute Withdrawal Symptoms) in this video https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=esHLnz-BUXw&t=1s   Better Help:  www.betterhelp.com/elevator - 10% off your first month. #sponsored                                                                               [15:40]  Megan has been sober for over a year. She lives in Orlando, has two kids, is a social worker, and is getting a master's in criminal justice. She loves to travel and has been to 25 countries. She loves the beach, music, theater, working out, and theme parks.   Megan grew up in a conservative religious home with no alcohol in the house. Her grandfather was a recovering alcoholic. Alcohol was a big part of her family history, and Megan experienced a lot of generational trauma. Megan's father passed away when she was 15, and her childhood abruptly ended. Coincidentally she had her first drink that year.   Megan started using alcohol as a coping mechanism in her early twenties. Her marriage, work, and being a grown-up were a lot to manage. In 2021 she started working for a men's prison, which changed her life. Giving something back and witnessing other people's trauma helped her harness her inner strength. Megan was able to share her story and learned to adopt solid self-care practices. Slowly, she started to heal.   Today, Megan sees sobriety as a beautiful way to live, even if incarcerated. She credits the men at the prison with helping her to get sober. Her sobriety tools include self-care, Café RE, leveraging an accountability partner, focusing on the good in life, and great friends. Instagram:  magicalsobermama   Kris's Summary   Together is always better. Kris just returned from the Bozeman retreat, and he loved getting to see all the participants.    Upcoming events, retreats, and courses: You can find more information about our events   Resources Connect with Cafe RE - Use the promo code OPPORTUNITY to waive the set-up fee. Recovery Elevator YouTube - Subscribe here! Sobriety Tracker iTunes    Recovery Elevator- We are the only ones who can do this, but we don't have to do it alone. I love you guys.
8/22/20221 hour, 2 minutes, 35 seconds
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RE 391: What do You Want to Hear?

Episode 391  - What do you Want?   Today we have Polly.   She is 50, from Minnesota, and has been sober since December 23, 2021.   Ditch the Booze Mindfulness Course starts 9/20.:  https://www.recoveryelevator.com/cafere/   Recovery Fit – Paul Lapine.  Lapine Fitness Center.  https://Lapinefit.com/recoveryfit Insta:Paul_Lapine_   Highlights from Paul   Paul shares that he created the podcast to create a new level of accountability for himself when he quit drinking.   He is grateful for his listeners and proud of how the podcast has evolved since the first recording. Paul would like to hear more from listeners about what they want to hear during the intro portion of the podcast.   Email Paul at:  [email protected]   Better Help:  www.betterhelp.com/elevator - 10% off your first month. #sponsored                                                                               [10:09]  Polly has been sober for six months. She is a high school English teacher, has two daughters, and has been married for 24 years. She enjoys animals, running, the outdoors, camping, and family adventures.    Polly's parents drank, but not to excess. Turning 21 was a right of passage, and Polly waited to drink until then. In college, Polly partied, partially as an act of rebellion. After graduating, drinking was a weekend social thing but not an issue. Polly's husband was not a daily drinker, which was initially a red flag. There was drinking everywhere, from sporting events to book clubs to unwinding from work.    As time progressed, Polly started hiding how much she drank from her husband. She slowly started gaining weight, and drinking/eating/negative emotions became a spiral for Polly.    Polly's husband asked her to get treatment and told her she was on the verge of losing her family, friends, and job. She was in treatment over the Christmas holiday. She was violently ill during detox, and the detox nurse told her never to forget how sick she was. She appreciated how much people embraced her during treatment.   She vowed to herself that she would give back and described treatment as the best experience of her life.   After leaving treatment, Polly leveraged the tools she learned in treatment and recognized that cravings are temporary.    Alcohol still calls to her at six months sober, but she works on it daily.    Her husband quit drinking a week before Polly went into treatment, which made her home more supportive. Polly is outspoken about her cravings and regularly asks for help. She attends AA meetings; she has a sober community and is transparent about her addiction with those close to her. She talks to her daughters regularly about her addiction. Polly hopes her experience ends her family's addiction cycle so her daughters never have to choose treatment. Polly describes sobriety as the most challenging thing she has ever done, but she is also proud of her success. She carries some shame for what she put her family through while drinking.   Paul's Summary   Paul believes adding joy, fun, and creativity to your life helps you to maintain sobriety and live a life you don't need to escape. Paul reminds listeners not to take themselves too seriously, to find joy, and don't let healing be painful.    Upcoming events, retreats, and courses: You can find more information about our events   Resources Connect with Cafe RE - Use the promo code OPPORTUNITY to waive the set-up fee. Recovery Elevator YouTube - Subscribe here! Sobriety Tracker iTunes    Recovery Elevator- Lighten Up. I love you guys.
8/15/202250 minutes, 7 seconds
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RE 390: The Secret to Change

Episode 390  - The Secret to Change   Today we have Jess.   She is 37, from Ontario, and has been sober since May 7, 2022.   Ditch the Booze Mindfulness Course starts 9/20.:  https://www.recoveryelevator.com/cafere/   Recovery Fit – Paul Lapine.  Lapine Fitness Studio.  https://lapinefitness.totaltransformationtoday.com/ Insta:Paul_Lapine_   Highlights from Paul   YOU ARE GOING TO MAKE IT! Anyone who doesn’t quit quitting eventually creates distance from alcohol. “The secret of change is to focus all your energy, not fighting the old, but building the new.” Socrates. This journey is about transformation. It’s an invitation to create a life where alcohol isn’t needed. It’s about letting part of you go. It’s about saying goodbye to the aspects of your life that aren’t working,   Paul suggests fighting the old is a waste, and addiction is a messenger letting you know your life is out of balance. Desperation leads to surrender, which leads to openness and willingness.   Don’t resist change as it is one constant you can count on.   Music Submissions - email edited versions to: [email protected]   Better Help:  www.betterhelp.com/elevator - 10% off your first month. #sponsored                                                                               [11:31]  Jess has been sober for two months. She is an accountant for a rehab hospital and enjoys reading, camping, cooking, and paddleboarding with her dog. She lives in Ontario, Canada, and has two children.   Jess came from a family of drinkers. Her Dad was a heavy drinker. She started experimenting with alcohol in her early teens. At age 14, her Dad died suddenly, and her Mom’s mental health deteriorated as a result.    Jess hosted parties and smoked pot. Since her family didn’t talk about things, drinking was an escape. All her friends drank and smoked, so it seemed commonplace. At one point, she started skipping school, and her sister intervened. Jess slowed down and appreciated the attention from her sister.    After high school, she took some random jobs and habitually stopped working, excusing her behavior with feigned sicknesses. She made lots of excuses but never addressed the root problem. She quit her jobs before she got fired.   Her temper flared when her drinking hit a certain point, and she became a monster.   Jess moved back in with her Mom to curb expenses, and her drinking slowed slightly. Six months later, she moved in with her boyfriend, and they were drinking buddies.    Jess got pregnant and abstained throughout her pregnancy but picked up again as soon as the baby was born. She bought into the “mommy wine culture .”Her Mom had dementia. Being around someone with dementia was difficult, and Jess’ drinking escalated. Eventually, she went to an online AA meeting and cried. She felt so welcomed. She counted minutes to hours, and finally, it got easier. She is now grateful to be present with her kids and is learning to like herself.    Kris’s Summary   Kris is looking forward to Recovery Elevator’s sober retreat. Kris has learned to listen to others, be present, and hold space for them. He has fun with his sober people. Kris encourages listeners to find their way to go deeper and have some fun. Challenge yourself to take the next step.   Upcoming events, retreats, and courses: You can find more information about our events   Resources Connect with Cafe RE - Use the promo code OPPORTUNITY to waive the set-up fee. Recovery Elevator YouTube - Subscribe here! Sobriety Tracker iTunes    Recovery Elevator- It all starts from the inside out. I love you guys.
8/8/202258 minutes, 35 seconds
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RE 389: Journal Speak

Episode 389  - Journal Speak   Today we have Christy.   She is 42, from Denmark, and has been sober since April 5, 2022.     Costa Rica 2023:  https://www.recoveryelevator.com/costarica2023/     Exact Nature:  https://exactnature.com/RE 20   Highlights from Paul   Paul talks about “journal speak,” an informal, off-the-cuff style of journaling. The point is to get unprocessed, uncomfortable emotions out of you. It makes you feel less alone and more connected to yourself. This is a significant component connecting with the raw, unheard, vulnerable, pissed-off version of you. When you feel a craving coming on, this is one of the best times to do this because a part of you is screaming to be heard.   Paul suggests starting with 5 minutes in the morning and 5 minutes at night. Make it informal, with no spelling or grammar check, and toss or burn it when you finish. Generally, you will find that you feel better and have cleared your mind.   Better Help:  www.betterhelp.com/elevator - 10% off your first month. #sponsored                                                                               [10:58]  Christy has been sober for eighty days.   She lives in Denmark, is from North Carolina, and is an agile coach in IT. She is married with two children,   Christy describes herself as a boring child who didn’t get into trouble. She was active in sports and music. Alcohol was always present in her life. She remembers the DARE program in high school and decided to avoid drugs and alcohol. She met her husband and married young. Christy drank socially, but there were no red flags.   In 2004, her father was diagnosed with lung cancer. He was age 47. Christy knew she needed to be strong. He passed in 2007. Unaware of how to process the grief, Christy pushed through, went through some counseling, and had a baby. After giving birth, she experienced anxiety and high blood pressure. She spiraled downward. Alcohol was a great way to shut down her brain. She gave birth to her second son and immediately returned to drinking and felt okay because the Mommy wine culture made it alright.   When moving to Denmark, she knew she needed to address her drinking because she had started sneaking alcohol. The geographic solution didn’t work. The trauma of her Dad’s death brought on emotions Christy could not process. She began taking days off and going to the liquor store early while her husband was at work and her kids were in school. Her drinking progressed, and she could secretly consume a whole bottle of wine. Her panic attacks got worse, and she didn’t realize it was the progression of her drinking that was causing the panic attacks.    Christy told her doctor about her problem. She started listening to recovery podcasts and saw a new counselor to deal with her grief and health anxiety. Her self-talk was, “don’t think, drink.”  The anxiety was debilitating. She was depressed and had the shakes and the shame of uncontrollable drinking.    COVID and having the kids home 24/7 was challenging. When she got to the point where her children had to put her to bed, she knew she had hit rock bottom. Her marriage was in jeopardy.    Christy enjoys Café RE and often hosts some of the chats. She attends AA and Smart Recovery as well. She has learned it is okay to be vulnerable and not strong. Leaning on her husband is okay.   She no longer has to be “the rock.”  Her anxiety has improved, and her counseling is helping. Her greatest joy is that her son says he has his mom back.      Paul’s Summary   Paul talks about the anxiety that came with trying to fix his printer. He loves that he has learned to let emotions flow through him. Paul believes in all the listeners.   Upcoming events, retreats, and courses: You can find more information about our events   Resources Connect with Cafe RE - Use the promo code OPPORTUNITY to waive the set-up fee. Recovery Elevator YouTube - Subscribe here! Sobriety Tracker iTunes    Recovery Elevator- It all starts from the inside out. You can do this. I love you guys.
8/1/202253 minutes, 52 seconds
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RE 388: Who Do I Think I Am?

Episode 388  - Identity   Today we have Liz.   She is 55, from Bend, OR, and has been sober for five months.   Ditch the Booze Mindfulness and AF Photography. www.recoveryelevator.com/events   Exact Nature:  https://exactnature.com/RE 20   Highlights from Kris   After returning from a trip to DC, Kris realized that connecting his identity to his accomplishments is something he left behind. Presenting his achievements as a “Who I Am” was typical for Kris when he was in active addiction. Kris hoped that showing others the good in him might help him to see the good in himself. Approval seeking was directly linked to his self-worth and what others thought of him. This created conflict because Kris felt like he was leading a double life: the list of accomplishments he shared with others and the poor self-esteem that felt more like the “real Kris.”   Ultimately, Kris hit a tipping point that led to his recovery. During those early days, he identified with the bad things he had done while drinking. With treatment, counseling, and spiritual support, Kris learned that he was responsible for his harmful behavior but eventually realized that what he did wasn’t who he was. He had to clean up, but he gained clarity on what he did vs. who he is.    Kris found a new identity in recovery. The greater good prevails, and instead of looking for an atta boy, he tries to connect to how he can be part of something bigger.   Kris asks listeners where they find their identity? Does it bring you peace? Can you make shifts in your identity without shame?   Better Help:  www.betterhelp.com/elevator - 10% off your first month. #sponsored                                                                               [10:45]  Liz has been sober for five months.   She is from California, has two dogs, works for a healthcare start-up, and enjoys entertaining, cooking, gardening, and music.   Alcohol was part of Liz’s life from an early age. She described a lot of drama and trauma in her childhood. She developed a fear of drinking while observing her parent’s drinking.    Liz and Kris talked about the behaviors we develop in childhood because of trauma and learning to give yourself grace as you reconcile those behaviors and learn healthier ones. They discussed how shame doesn’t support your recovery. They also talked about surrender being an essential step in recovering yourself.    Liz relies on Recovery Elevator and Café RE, meditation, self-care, recovery tools, and community to support her sobriety.    Kris’s Summary   Kris talks about embracing challenges and turning them around to support the greater good.   Move forward with grace, love and encouragement. Learn to love yourself and share that love with others.     If you feel stuck in your story, know you are not alone. Keep it simple and focus on the next right here. We are here for you.   Upcoming events, retreats, and courses: You can find more information about our events   Resources Connect with Cafe RE - Use the promo code OPPORTUNITY to waive the set-up fee. Recovery Elevator YouTube - Subscribe here! Sobriety Tracker iTunes    Recovery Elevator- You’re the only one who can do this, but you don’t have to do it alone. I love you guys.
7/25/202257 minutes, 4 seconds
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RE 387: Why Some Make it, and Some Don't

Episode 387  - Why Some Make it, and Some Don’t   Today we have Becca.   She is 43, from Montana, and took her last drink on September 18, 2017.   Sober Travel Update – Costa Rica 2023. Stay tuned for dates. www.recoveryelevator.com/events   Exact Nature:  https://exactnature.com/RE 20   Highlights from Paul   Paul believes that taking responsibility for your drinking or choosing not to be a victim increases your likelihood of “making it” L.” listening to this podcast means that you are open to new ideas, pathways, resources, and a new outlook on life. Paul suggests telling yourself that you will make it or are already there. Awareness that you have a drinking problem is the beginning, then ownership of the solution.    Paul believes a drinking problem is an invitation to a new life. Never quit quitting. Paul says yes, you are going to make it. You are already making it.    Better Help:  www.betterhelp.com/elevator - 10% off your first month. #sponsored                                                                               [11:07]  Becca has been sober for nearly five years.   Becca worked for 18 years as a chef/bartender. She rescues dogs, loves art, and reading. She went from food addiction to alcohol in her early twenties. She had a gastric bypass in 2005. She pre-gamed a bottle of booze before going out with her friends. She was able to lose 268 pounds and kept it off, but she was able to drink a lot of alcohol.   Becca describes several signs on the way to quitting drinking. She eventually went to Great Falls for inpatient treatment. After 17 years of constant drinking, the strict rehab included a lot of self-discoveries, and she had to earn privileges. The physical withdrawal was difficult because she was having seizures. Becca transitioned over to sober living. Shame was part of her inner dialogue. After eight months of sober living, she began working out. She opened her first business.     Becca’s life is so much better. She would rather be involved in a national disaster than go back to her rock bottom with alcohol. Recovery isn’t black and white. Routine is important, but she has learned to embrace the challenges that come with everyday life. She can hear the birds and the river in ways she hadn’t before.    Daily reflections, post-it reminders, journaling, embracing nature, equine therapy, and surrounding herself with healthy support have been critical to maintaining sobriety. At five months sober, Becca was able to testify against someone who beat her up. She moved to Gardiner, MT, and fell in love with the area.    She studied coffee, created her own coffee recipe, and is proud to serve the best coffee on earth. She has strained out the things she no longer needs. Check out Bear’s Brew in Gardiner, MT, if you head to Yellowstone.    Paul’s Summary   Paul hates the term “making it” and knows that comparison is a trap. Internal goals can be problematic because of the ego. The gifts of recovery include: being present, enjoying the moments, and knowing that you have already made it. All pathways lead the way home. Paul embraces problems and tries to heed the lessons that come with them.    Upcoming events, retreats, and courses: You can find more information about our events   Resources Connect with Cafe RE - Use the promo code OPPORTUNITY to waive the set-up fee. Recovery Elevator YouTube - Subscribe here! Sobriety Tracker iTunes    Recovery Elevator- Go big because eventually, we all go home. I love you guys.
7/18/202254 minutes, 12 seconds
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RE 386: The One Mistake People Make When Quitting Drinking

Episode 386  - The One Mistake People Make When Quitting Drinking   Today we have Shad.   He is 46, from Indiana, and took his last drink on March 19, 2021.       Café RE Open House Chat: July 16, 2016, at 12 ET. Join Zoom: https://us02web.zoom.us/j/83057111516? pwd=NlJyaFdtZ0RBYnhMaytxbkdRU2tMdz09 Meeting ID: 830 5711 1516 Passcode: recovery   Exact Nature:  https://exactnature.com/RE 20   Highlights from Paul   Don’t quit drinking without learning coping strategies, understanding why you drink in the first place, and get some tools for your recovery toolbox. Don’t sell yourself short on how rich your life can be without alcohol. Say yes, to as many recovery opportunities as you can. Books, podcasts, quit lit, retreats, spiritual teachers, music, chats, meetings. Some of it is work. These investments of time into yourself will pay HUGE in the future. A whole new world awaits you after the bottle.   Better Help:  www.betterhelp.com/elevator - 10% off your first month. #sponsored                                                                               [10:50]  Shad has been sober for 433 days.   He is married with five children, three grandchildren, and three dogs. He loves skateboarding, archery, trail running, and anything outside. He describes nature as his church, particularly above the timberline.   Shad experienced severe child abuse in early childhood and was from a family with a history of addiction to drugs and alcohol. His grandfather was a friend, a father figure, and a heavy drinker. Shad created chaos with alcohol. After his divorce, he doubled down on alcohol; then, he tried to drink himself to death after his grandfather passed. Shad lost his brother to a drug overdose.   Consequences were minimal for Shad. His first wake-up call was waking up to an empty gallon bottle of whiskey. A year later, running inspired him. He started running longer distances. The stride, footfalls, and measured breathing were meditative for Shad. He still had not dealt with his emotions. He stopped drinking in 2014, ate clean, started ultra-running, and completed a 100-mile run. His ego kicked in, and he drank again because he thought he could handle it now. He got drunk on the eve of his wedding and again on his wedding day. Shad didn’t believe he had a drinking problem; he thought he had a depression problem. Running replaced alcohol for those 2.5 years. After his honeymoon, he tried several attempts at moderation. It worked until it didn’t, then he went downhill fast.    Shad describes himself as addicted to everything – he can’t have just one. Gradually his drinking progressed. His middle son developed a drinking problem observing his Dad. The guilt of his son’s drinking drove him to drink more. Covid became another excuse to isolate and drink. After a night of extreme drinking, he told his wife he tried to kill himself with bourbon. She agreed to get him some help. Shad began reaching out. He found a community that didn’t judge him but supported him.   A friend introduced him to a group called, Punks in Recovery. Shad embraces many avenues of sobriety, including AA and ACA, and he is open to whatever works.   Kris’s Summary   Kris talks about reflecting on his goals and tools and evaluating what works and doesn’t. He encourages listeners to look without judgment at what went well and what could have gone better. Shame doesn’t have a place in recovery. Leverage gratitude and do the next right thing. Growth takes time. Let it do its job.   Upcoming events, retreats, and courses: You can find more information about our events   Resources Connect with Cafe RE - Use the promo code OPPORTUNITY to waive the set-up fee. Recovery Elevator YouTube - Subscribe here! Sobriety Tracker iTunes    Recovery Elevator- You are the only one who can do this, but you don’t have to do it alone. I love you guys.
7/11/20221 hour, 3 minutes, 55 seconds
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RE 385: You're Free

Episode 385  - You’re Free   Today we have Steve. He is 34, from Boston, MA, and took his last drink on February 18, 2021.   Exact Nature:  https://exactnature.com/RE 20   Bozeman Retreat Upcoming Courses:  AF Photography and AF Mindfulness Service Project Courses: https://www.recoveryelevator.com/cafere/ Bozeman Retreat: https://www.recoveryelevator.com/bozeman/   Better Help:  www.betterhelp.com/elevator - 10% off your first month. #sponsored   Highlights from Paul   An elementary view of freedom is free will or doing what you want. A more rewarding form of freedom includes commitments, discipline, and boundaries for extended periods. Freedom also includes sleep, routine, forgiveness, being present, being of service, overcoming fear, and adding value. Freedom gives you choices; the most important choice is to be your authentic self.                                                                                 [8:40]  Steve has been sober for over a year. Steve’s parents were born in El Salvatore, and Steve is first generation American. In college, he stumbled upon neuroscience. He enjoys running, boxing and music. A classmate passed, and the grief and mystery around his death felt impossible to process at the time. Alcohol put noise cancellation on his thoughts, his anxiety, and the reality of death. Steve never grieved. Over the years, his drinking progressed from weekends to weekdays to whenever he wasn’t working. He learned quickly he couldn’t have 1-2 drinks. Moderation didn’t work. Last year on his birthday, he drank to excess in front of his parents, siblings, and partner. He resolved you quit drinking. You get to keep everything else or give up everything and keep drinking.    Steve attempted moderation. Eventually, he went to therapy to learn how to navigate his feelings, anxiety, and urge to drink. He realized he had a family history of alcohol abuse and anxiety. On a particularly bad day, his friends expressed concern and suggested some things to explore.    After his first Café Re meeting, Steve felt more comfortable with his thoughts; that was his Day 1. The RE community gave Steve the push he needed. Listening to others, he felt accepted, nourished, and supported. He described never feeling more human and letting vulnerability take center stage. Day count fell aside, and it became “no matter what.”   Steve’s non-negotiables started with not letting alcohol influence his work. Now it’s about being present and letting life happen.      Paul’s Summary   Declare freedom over alcohol. Never quit quitting.   Upcoming events, retreats, and courses: You can find more information about our events   Resources Connect with Cafe RE - Use the promo code OPPORTUNITY to waive the set-up fee. Recovery Elevator YouTube - Subscribe here! Sobriety Tracker iTunes    Recovery Elevator –go big because eventually, we all go home. I love you guys.
7/4/202250 minutes, 6 seconds
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RE 384: The Path of Least Resistance

Episode 384  - The path of least resistance   Today we have Matt. He is 40, from Edmonton, Canada, and took his last drink on April 8, 2019.   Exact Nature:  https://exactnature.com/RE 20   Café RE Chats:  https://recoveryelevator.com/cafere/   Highlights from Paul   Sobriety is the path of least resistance. Moderation was miserable, and drinking is killing me. Paul describes his own experiences with moderation and points out that with moderation, you continue to have decision fatigue and only moderately heal.    Moderation is often a step along the journey toward ditching the booze.   The path of least resistance means – you won't get a DUI or be sent home from work because you smell like booze. Your sleep improves, your liver health improves along with your connections and relationships, and you enjoy more fun (and skittles).    Better Help:  www.betterhelp.com/elevator - 10% off your first month                                                                               [13:06]  Matt has been sober for three years. He is a recovery coach, engaged, and enjoys music, nature, hiking, camping, and his dogs. He is learning about sound therapy and how music can influence your mindset.   Matt came from a family of heavy drinkers. He remembers listening to the excitement of the adults' conversations while drinking when he was young. He was often given sips of beer if it felt exciting. As a teenager, music became a way to express himself. The rock and roll lifestyle complimented the music, which included booze. Drinking helped Matt to overcome his shyness and awkwardness.    His early 20s presented the perfect storm of opportunities to drink excessively. He went from a happy-go-lucky drunk to having a chip on his shoulder. He began to recognize his drinking habits were changing. A breakup with his girlfriend sent him into a tailspin of depression, and his drinking escalated. External pressure to quit drinking led to rebellion, and Matt learned that change had to come from within. Matt was hospitalized with acute pancreatitis after a drinking binge. He continued to drink and had another health incident. He took some time off work and launched it with a bender, then turned to a friend to bring him to an AA meeting. His first meeting was a profound emotional/spiritual shift that led him to over three years of sobriety.    Matt's firsts during his first year of sobriety was difficult and rewarding. It was his first opportunity as an adult to experience life without alcohol. Self-help books, podcasts, and a growth mindset helped him embrace sobriety. He was quiet about his sobriety. At a friend's wedding, he had a shot of tequila, and the wave of the high hit him quickly. He had a creative outburst and wrote ten songs. He convinced himself that the drinks enabled his creativity. He repackaged all his views of alcohol to return to drinking moderately. The moderation bargaining started, and at one point, he heard a voice telling him, if you keep doing this, it will kill you. Matt continued drinking. After a sloppy party weekend, Matt realized it was time to stop while driving to his dad's celebration of life. He decided to stop the cycle as a tribute to his father.    Matt recently made a plant-based medicine retreat. His healing journey continues, and the sense of peace has returned. He is focused on a growth mindset and allowing the journey to happen because life is not a to-do list.   Matt’s podcast:  https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/beyond-recovery/id1618862620   Kris's Summary   Embracing summer plans as a sober person is new for many of us. Give yourself grace. Create accountability, set boundaries, try new things, create new habits, and remember it's okay to go slow.    Upcoming events, retreats, and courses: You can find more information about our events   Resources Connect with Cafe RE - Use the promo code OPPORTUNITY to waive the set-up fee. Recovery Elevator YouTube - Subscribe here! Sobriety Tracker iTunes    Recovery Elevator –it all starts from the inside out I love you guys.
6/27/20221 hour, 14 minutes, 17 seconds
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RE 383: Chapter 4 - Clearing Space

Episode 383  - Clearing space   Today we have Phillip. He is 46 and took his last drink on February 28, 2019.   Exact Nature:  https://exactnature.com/RE 20   Bozeman Retreat:  https://www.recoveryelevator.com/cafere/ Early Recovery Podcast Guests:  email [email protected]   Highlights from Paul   It's hard to visualize a sober life when you are still drinking because your body is using every drop of energy to get rid of the poison that is alcohol from your body. Paul suggests once you ditch the booze, sit back and be the observer to watch your life unfold and resist the urge to control everything. In his eighth year of sobriety, Paul bought a home in Costa Rica, a longtime dream. After quitting, his life became a blank canvas, and now he is exploring his love for nature in his new home – which would not have been possible if he was still drinking. Paul feels connected to his inner child and is grateful for his life today.   In chapter 4, Paul wants to showcase listeners' talents. Feel free to send an edited MP3 file in under 3 minutes to [email protected], and you may hear yourself on the podcast.    Better Help:  www.betterhelp.com/elevator - 10% off your first month                                                                               [12:55]  Phillip lives in Minneapolis, lives with his partner, has no kids, and works as an attorney. He is a marathon runner. Phillip started drinking in college. As life unfolded, he noticed drinking was part of all his life activities, from work to time with friends. He realized he drank every day, even the night before running a marathon.    In 2017, he started to question if he had a problem. The thought of quitting drinking felt like quitting fun. In 2018, Philip decided to explore his relationship with alcohol as his New Year's resolution. He quit for four months with few problems. He kept a diary that tracked his cravings and triggers. He drank during a vacation which ended his streak. He found several reasons to start and stop. By the end of 2018, he returned to daily drinking and stopped keeping his diary, and brandy was his drink of choice. He noticed he was gaining weight, and his depression was worsening. He realized that moderation was a challenge. Choosing to drink or not drink daily was exhausting and caused decision fatigue. Phillip's sleep was terrible; one day, he found himself drinking at 3 AM so he could sleep … two hours before a run. It occurred to him that he was now drinking in the morning.   As he reflected on his behavior, he saw three paths:  continue drinking, moderate, or abstain altogether. He concluded that quitting was the past of least resistance because moderation involved constant decision fatigue. He joined the "no matter what" club. He got sober, learning how to get through the moments. He kept a spreadsheet that became a diary of his cravings. He tracked his cravings to he could identify trends. His most challenging moments came later in sobriety. Three months in, Memorial Day weekend was a huge struggle. Podcasts are a huge part of Phillip's recovery. He joined Café RE and began to connect with people. Many say you are the average of your top 5 people, and surrounding himself with non-drinkers has brought his life to a better level. He now enjoys a runner's high when he runs, which he never experienced when drinking.   Phillip believes sobriety can be for everybody.   Paul's Summary   Keep track of how much energy your addiction takes. Write it down. Never take yourself too seriously. I love you guys!   Upcoming events, retreats, and courses: You can find more information about our events   Resources Connect with Cafe RE - Use the promo code OPPORTUNITY to waive the set-up fee. Recovery Elevator YouTube - Subscribe here! Sobriety Tracker iTunes    Recovery Elevator –it all starts from the inside out. I love you guys! I love you guys.
6/20/202255 minutes, 58 seconds
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RE 382: So Now What?

Episode 382– So now what?   Today we have Ryan. He is 40, from Denver, and took his last drink on January 7, 2013.   Exact Nature:  https://exactnature.com/RE 20   Bozeman Retreat:  https://www.recoveryelevator.com/cafere/   Highlights from Paul   Recovery Elevator Newsletter:  https://recoveryelevator.com   Paul shares Odette’s wise words,  “we can’t be hard on ourselves when we do hard things.” He also examines those who abuse alcohol and the correlation with being hard on ourselves. Could the pace you are setting for yourself be driving you to drink?   Not drinking isn’t an activity. I quit drinking, so now what? You are making space for a new chapter in your life. A theme you will find in that chapter is your relationship with yourself.   Better Help:  www.betterhelp.com/elevator - 10% off your first month                                                                               [11:15]  Ryan has been sober for over nine years. He is the founder of Free Spiritual Community for addicts to break the cycle of addiction. He is married and has four kids.   He loves being outside, the mountains, travel, and family life.   Ryan has been in ministry for 14 years, and sobriety brought him a spiritual awakening. He went to bible school, and during the first month, his brother was killed in a car accident. The addiction began to take over. Alcohol helped Ryan deal with pain, fear, and uncertainty. He experienced shame and fundamentally did not like himself as a person.    Ryan didn’t know how to stop the pain or creating pain. While in the seminary, his drinking escalated. One Christmas Eve, his sister asked him not to come around anymore because she didn’t want her kids to see him drunk. He describes putting on a mask, so nobody could see who he was. Ryan describes the grace that helped him connect to his relationship with God, knowing that God was there during his addiction.    Admitting that he was spiritually disconnected created spiritual freedom that changed his life. Shame, anger, and self-hatred helped him connect to God and explore a different way of life. An intervention from his wife made the difference. She used the word “we,” and knowing he didn’t have to do it alone propelled him into recovery.   Nine years in, Ryan still practices letting go. He began his journey in 12-step programs, and he went from sitting in the back of the room to actively engaging, getting vulnerable, and being of service. Today, Ryan and his wife have a church filled with addicts, loved ones of addicts, and spiritual refugees, https://freespiritualcommunity.com. Insta:  freespiritualcommunity, YouTube: freespiritual community. https://wagoncoffeeroasters.com/   Kris’ Summary   Kris talks about his wife Aimee being on the Recovery Elevator podcast. Check out episode 321. Kris thanks listeners for giving him the room to grow.   Keep going. Finds some peace.   Upcoming events, retreats, and courses: You can find more information about our events   Resources Connect with Cafe RE - Use the promo code OPPORTUNITY to waive the set-up fee. Recovery Elevator YouTube - Subscribe here! Sobriety Tracker iTunes    Recovery Elevator –it all starts from the inside out. I love you guys! I love you guys.
6/13/20221 hour, 6 minutes, 40 seconds
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RE 381: We're All Addicted to Something

Episode 381– We are all addicted to something   Today we have Amy. She is 39, from Canada, and took her last drink on August 21, 2016   Exact Nature:  https://exactnature.com/RE 20   Highlights from Paul   Paul talks about a book he is reading called, The Urge. It's about an Indian in the Seneca Tribe named Handsome Lake. He developed a program similar to AA about 150 years before Bill W and Dr. Bob created AA.    Connection pulled people out of addiction. The Urge:  https://amzn.to/37KVS3Y   Paul describes an experience at a Sauna in the hot springs where a group of men started talking about addiction. It began with one man sharing that he had ten years without a drink and moved to Montana for a fresh start. After he burned the ships, the other men in the sauna talked about their struggle to control substances beyond alcohol and drugs. When one person opens up and shares from the heart, it gives others a safe space to do the same.    Paul reminds us:  1) It's a challenging universe to live in; 2) we are all addicts trying to survive, and 3) we all need help. Continue exploring coping strategies, and you will find the ones that work for you.   Better Help:  www.betterhelp.com/elevator - 10% off your first month                                                                               [10:55]  Amy has been sober for six years. She is from Toronto, Canada, and works as a sobriety and mindset coach. She loves reading, cycling, traveling, cross stitching, is single, queer, and has a cat.    Amy started drinking at 16 and grew up in a family dealing with addiction. Alcohol relieved Amy from the trauma and complication of her parent's separation and divorce. She was hiding alcohol and drinking alone very early into her drinking.   The volume and frequency of her drinking progressed rapidly, and she was prone to blackouts. Externally she was high functioning. Internally, she struggled quite a bit.   Amy was overcome with grief after her dad's sudden death, and her drinking escalated to cope with her volatile emotions. She achieved six months of consecutive sobriety and committed to being done with drinking. Her first attempts included moderation, rewards, and bargaining, which continued for a year. In 2015, questions started to emerge for Amy, forcing her to examine her drinking.    Amy became a coach and learned to share her story more publicly. She now helps other women create change for themselves. She has taken her life and her power back. Breaking the cycle of addiction has been very empowering for Amy. Compassion and sadness have become her primary emotions. Compassion for her father and sadness for what she went through and what might have been had her childhood been more stable.   Small steps, habit stacking, and new habits created momentum for Amy. Committing to making real change, even with discomfort and struggle, helped Amy to stack days. She began to follow other sober women on Instagram, which made her feel hopeful. Learning about addiction and alcohol, from biology to mental health, helped Amy strengthen her commitment to abstinence. She avoided events, social situations, and people who created a risk to her sobriety.   She shifted her priorities to change her life. Find Amy on Instagram @MsAmyCWillis and Holandwell.com.   Odette's Summary   Odette discusses non-scale victories and tiny wins that are difficult to measure. She encourages listeners to be mindful of those small victories that snowball into meaningful momentum.    Remember that you are not alone and together is always better.   Upcoming events, retreats, and courses: You can find more information about our events   Resources Connect with Cafe RE - Use the promo code OPPORTUNITY to waive the set-up fee. Recovery Elevator YouTube - Subscribe here! Sobriety Tracker iTunes    Recovery Elevator –please believe in yourself. I believe in you. I love you guys.
6/6/202250 minutes, 52 seconds
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RE 380: What is Sober?

Episode 380– What is Sober?   Today we have Shrene. She is 46, from Arizona, and took her last drink on September 10, 2019   AF Photography Class for beginners will start in August.  Details to follow. AF Ukelele Course #2 starts in June.   Exact Nature:  https://exactnature.com/RE 20   Highlights from Paul   Paul talks about the word sober.  For this podcast, sober refers to alcohol, because alcohol is what got Paul behind the microphone to launch Recovery Elevator.   Paul suggests not getting too attached to any idea of what sober looks like.  It’s not about the substance, but the freedom you have from the substance.  Try not to judge others for their definition of sober, because it’s rarely black and white.  When you judge others, you judge yourself and create separation.  Defining sobriety can be a fool’s errand.   Sobriety is living authentically.  Sobriety is not being a slave, to a substance, behavior, or action.   Sobriety is living your life how you want to live, living with a connected head and heart, recognizing  beauty, art, sunsets,  a different vibration. Sobriety is hope, taking off the chains, meeting yourself, a manageable life. Sobriety is “downgrading additions.” Sarah Hepola - Blackout   https://www.amazon.com/Blackout-Remembering-Things-Drank-Forget/dp/1455554588   If you remove alcohol and aren’t ready to say goodbye to everything else, go slow, take your time, and listen to your body. There is no right or wrong way to do this, and there is no generally accepted definition of sobriety.   At Recovery Elevator, we accept all versions of sober.  We accept all versions of you.     Better Help:  www.betterhelp.com/elevator - 10% off your first month                                                                               [12:04]  Shrrene is married with two children, two dogs and is a lunch lady who makes lunch for 700 kids daily.   Shrrene remembers drinking as early as age three to four.  She drank through her high school years.  She stopped drinking when she got married at age 16 and she stopped drinking until after her son was born at age 26.  She was a casual drinker.   At 40, she started drinking daily.  She would sneak her drinking, hide bottles, and hide in her closet to drink.  She quit during her pregnancy.  She had open heart surgery at 39, then had a stroke.  At age 41 she had a second open heart surgery but continued to drink.  Her husband brought an AA Big Book home from an Al-Anon meeting.  Her husband joined Celebrate Recovery and she joined him for meetings.  She began to moderate but went back to field research regularly until 2019.  Shrrene got sick and tired of being sick and tired.  Prayer was instrumental for getting the desire to drink lifted.  Now she doesn’t have a desire to drink, other than the fleeting thought and she plans to stay active in recovery and help others.   Shrrene slowly started talking to her husband, in AA meetings, journaling and learning to share.  Journaling helped when she was too afraid to talk to others and it is a tool that still serves her today.    Attending AA and CR meetings were helpful, but Shrrene was reluctant to share.  When she learned to open up, she felt less alone.  She found the similarities in the stories of others.  She encourages listeners to keep trying and never give up.    Odette’s Summary   Odette reminds us “we can do hard things”.  We can’t do hard things and be hard on ourselves. Chose yourself, chose kindness and be your own cheerleader.   Remember that you are not alone and together is always better.   Upcoming events, retreats, and courses: You can find more information about our events   Resources Connect with Cafe RE - Use the promo code OPPORTUNITY to waive the set-up fee. Recovery Elevator YouTube - Subscribe here! Sobriety Tracker iTunes    Recovery Elevator –we are here for you, don’t quit quitting. I love you guys.
5/30/202256 minutes, 50 seconds
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RE 379: Doing Your Part

Episode 379 – Service   Today we have Aaron. He is 40, from South Carolina, and took his last drink on September 15, 2021.   Jeff was interviewed for the podcast on episodes 104 and 377, has a book out, and is now leading sober travel trips. See links below.   Finding Bishop Castle: A Road Trip to Recovery -- https://www.amazon.com/Finding-Bishop-Castle-Road-Recovery/dp/0578882612/ref=sr_1_1?crid=350FVMX9SZBRI&keywords=finding+bishop+castle+jeff+bowersox&qid=1649339640&sprefix=Finding+Bishop+%2Caps%2C213&sr=8-1#customerReviews   Afterglow Recovery -  https://ourafterglow.com   Exact Nature:  https://exactnature.com/RE 20   Highlights from Paul   Paul talks about the benefits of service and climate change in recovery. Service gets you out of your head and out of your story. Dopamine, serotonin, and oxytocin are released when we help others.   Climate change could save us as a species by forcing us to work together and develop a collective strategy. Alcoholics can help because there’s one thing we can do that others can’t, and that’s meeting as a group, putting all our differences aside, and talking about healing, recovery, and LOVE.   Paul wants climate change to unite us instead of dividing us. He is encouraging Recovery Elevator listeners to plant a tree, take a picture and tag us on Instagram @recoveryelevator.   “The true meaning of life is to plant trees under the shade you don’t expect to sit.” Nelson Henderson   Better Help:  www.betterhelp.com/elevator - 10% off your first month                                                                               [15:06]  Aaron has been sober for seven months and is married with two kids. He has an athletic household. He loves cooking, sports, and power yoga.    Alcohol wasn’t part of his life until his senior year of high school.   When he went to college, binge drinking was the norm. Alcohol came with comradery for Aaron. All his memories with his friends involved alcohol. At 23, he totaled a car after drinking to excess. He quit for a month after the accident. When he started working, he got an outside sales job involving entertaining customers. Both his work and his social life revolved around drinking. At times it felt like an obligation. His tolerance built up, and it never occurred to him to stop.   His wife noticed and began to comment on his drinking. Aaron said to drink as he wanted meant being drunk. He saw a therapist specializing in addiction who helped him see several things.    Aaron’s 40th birthday was enough of a nudge to get him to address his drinking. His wife bought him a ten pack of hot yoga classes, and he went to his first one on his birthday.    Odette and Aaron discussed the dynamics of alcoholism running in the family and how to talk to children, siblings, and cousins about being mindful of the patterns that can develop.   Accountability has been a big part of Aaron’s sober journey. His cousin has become his accountability partner, and they talk about the ups and downs of sobriety with each other.   Odette and Aaron talk about the differences in sobriety that are new. Managing customers has worked well in sobriety. Aaron remembers his deliverables more readily and has found that as many customers want to be home with family as they want to party. Grieving your old life is allowed and makes sense.   Ditching the booze makes room for new experiences.    Odette’s Summary   Odette reminds listeners that you keep us going. We want to hear from you about what you would like to hear from us in the podcast, social media, and newsletters. You can reach Odette at [email protected].   Remember that you are not alone and together is always better.   Upcoming events, retreats, and courses: You can find more information about our events   Resources Connect with Cafe RE - Use the promo code OPPORTUNITY to waive the set-up fee. Recovery Elevator YouTube - Subscribe here! Sobriety Tracker iTunes    Recovery Elevator –It all starts from the inside out. I love you guys.
5/23/20221 hour, 5 minutes, 53 seconds
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RE 378: Finding Grace

Episode 378 – Finding Grace   Today we have Susan. She is 46, from Ohio, and took her last drink on June 14, 2019.   Exact Nature:  https://exactnature.com/RE 20   Highlights from Odette   "Whatever courage got you here is going to take you far." You are brave, and you have courage. Learn to trust yourself. Define far for yourself. The unfolding of healing takes time, have patience with yourself. Odette has two sentences of a poem on her forearm: "I am the master of my fate: I am the captain of my soul." Those words are a reminder of her strength, courage, and perseverance.    Better Help:  www.betterhelp.com/elevator - 10% off your first month                                                                               [09:20]  Susan has been sober for nearly three years. She is speaking on the podcast to get out of her comfort zone and overcome some complacency in her sobriety.   Susan is married and lives in Ohio with a stepson and two dogs. She works for an investment company and loves the outdoors, the beach, paddle boarding, running, and Jeopardy.   Susan grew up in a house of addiction and described it as WWIII. Her father was an abusive alcoholic. Her parents tended to numb out and not deal with anything. She realizes now many of her behaviors result from a trauma response.    Susan was often the caretaker for her mom, so the roles were reversed. She partied a fair amount in her twenties. Her mom died, and her sister was diagnosed with lung cancer. Her sister and brother-in-law died within seven months of one another. Susan retreated into her addiction. All the grief and pain from losing her sister was overwhelming.    Addiction was like a cocoon for Susan. It became so uncomfortable, and she had to stop. Susan tried naltrexone, but she wasn't ready to quit. Shame kept her drinking for some time, and in retrospect, Susan regrets that she didn't ask for help. Alan Carr's book podcasts and terror helped her to quit for good. Two months into sobriety, she attended Recovery Elevator's Bozeman retreat.    At Bozeman, Susan learned that community is essential. Susan struggled to share her recovery with her drinking friends.   She often said she was "on a cleanse."    Susan describes recovery as a radical act of self-love. Her progress in the last 3-years eclipses her progress in the previous ten. She is learning to get uncomfortable with being uncomfortable.    Meditation, gratitude practice, and Women for Sobriety zoom meetings are essential sobriety tools for Susan.    She suggests getting clear on your "why" to reinforce your commitment to recovery.   Susan believes you are worth it and deserve to be happy and have some peace.   Kris' Summary   Kris encourages you to share your story. Contact Kris:  [email protected].    Kris describes his daughter's work to win a photography merit award. Even with life's ups and downs, her consistency reminds him of the consistency needed to maintain sobriety. Managing struggles, triumphs, and learning to grow through challenges is how you stack days and keep your commitment.    Sometimes our plans work out perfectly, while others kick us in the face. We don't know what's around the corner. Meet every challenge with love, patience, and grace.    You are the only one who can do this, but you don't have to do it alone.    Upcoming events, retreats, and courses: You can find more information about our events   Resources Connect with Cafe RE - Use the promo code OPPORTUNITY to waive the set-up fee. Recovery Elevator YouTube - Subscribe here! Sobriety Tracker iTunes    Recovery Elevator –It all starts from the inside out. I love you guys.
5/16/20221 hour, 8 minutes
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RE 377: Your Favorites

Episode 377 – Your favorites   Today we have Jeff. He is 47, from the Dominican Republic, and took his last drink on December 4, 2016.   Bozeman Retreat:  https://www.recoveryelevator.com/bozeman/   Exact Nature:  https://exactnature.com/RE 20   Highlights from Paul   Listeners provided highlights of some of their favorite episodes of the Recovery Elevator podcast.   330 – Learn to love yourself as your dog (or cat) loves you. You have a certain amount of energy and days in your life, and it is your choice on what to spend it on.   207 and 220 – Tom Topp inspired a listener to see social anxiety as a similarity. Another listener helped her learn that the body does heal from elevated liver enzymes without alcohol.   Another listener couldn't name one episode but instead said, sharing your story and recovering out loud helps shred the shame of addiction. It made me realize that I'm not alone, and together we can fight and overcome this!   370 Stephanie – a listener, learned to put the same energy into her recovery that she did into drinking.   Odette speaking about her relapse was also powerful   Better Help:  www.betterhelp.com/elevator - 10% off your first month                                                                               [15:21]  Jeff feels great, thanks to five years of sobriety. He is married and splits time between Colorado and the Dominican Republic. He has a concierge service for people in recovery to enjoy a beach vacation without the triggers of alcohol. Jeff's services help sober experience sober fun.   Jeff experimented with alcohol as a teenager and described alcohol as a warm hug. He married at 18 and put alcohol on the sidelines to become a provider. In his mid-thirties, Jeff spiraled into self-pity. After DUI's and jail time, it took him several years to embrace recovery. He remarried and was a grey area drinker, until his drinking was problematic again.    Codependency caused Jeff to take on identities for other people. In sobriety, he started to get to know himself. When triggered, he asks his wife for help. Jeff listened to ninety episodes of the Recovery Elevator podcast in thirty days. Stubbornness helped to make sobriety stick. Writing is a great tool for Jeff and posting in Café Re provides him with great feedback.   Collecting the sober moments retrains the synapses in your brain to have different responses to triggering events.   Odette's Summary   You can handle this. Remember that you are not alone and together is always better.   Upcoming events, retreats, and courses: You can find more information about our events   Resources Connect with Cafe RE - Use the promo code OPPORTUNITY to waive the set-up fee. Recovery Elevator YouTube - Subscribe here! Sobriety Tracker iTunes    Recovery Elevator –It all starts from the inside out. I love you guys.
5/9/202256 minutes, 47 seconds
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RE 376: You Can be Right or You Can Have Peace Part II

Episode 376 – You can be right, or you can have peace – Part 2   Today we have Ronda. She is 56, from New Orleans, and sober for 2.5 years.   Exact Nature:  https://exactnature.com/RE 20   Highlights from Paul   We are all human, with faulty machines in the dome. It's okay to be right or want to be right, especially in the moment. Sobriety teaches us that we must choose peace. We don't have to choose peace immediately, but eventually, we must, or we develop resentments. Resentments, for many of us, can kill us. Why?   Resentments separate us. Disconnect us. And what's the opposite of addiction—connection.   Better Help:  www.betterhelp.com/elevator - 10% off your first month                                                                               [10:23]  Ronda and Odette discussed the sobriety journey and celebrating the decision to quit vs. the date of your last drink. Ronda is from New Orleans and recently moved to Colorado. She has three grown children, and she is an anesthesiologist. She loves sailing, hiking, and traveling.   Ronda's first addiction was an eating disorder. She coped with stress and shame with food. She recovered from the eating disorder at age 30, and alcohol became a problem. She got a DWI in her mid-forties. Ronda said she ignored all the signs. She didn't want to have a drinking problem. The culture in New Orleans portrays day drinking and excessive drinking as the norm, so it made denial easier.   Ronda was more of a binge drinker than a daily drinker. Her kids started noticing her drinking. Her middle daughter was vocal about her concerns early on. So, Ronda began to hide her drinking. Ronda and the kids evacuated to Phoenix during Hurricane Katrina. Her problem with drinking started then, and it took her ten years to get help.   After getting a DUI, Ronda had to go through a program to align with the recommendations of the medical board. Even her colleagues said, "it could have been me."   When visiting her daughter in sober living, Ronda got sloshed at the airport and faced her daughter's disappointment when she landed. When her daughter stopped protecting Ronda, it was another AHA moment that she had a problem. After her daughter went to rehab, Ronda started moderating when her kids were with her.    There are multiple ways to get sober, and Ronda tried everything and found a mix of programs that worked. Ronda leveraged AA, The Tempest Sobriety School (run by Holly Whittaker), Recovery Elevator, and Café RE in early recovery. With a heavy emphasis on self-care, Ronda was able to find her true soul, her wounded inner child, and the ego that were all within herself. Learning to take care of herself allowed Ronda to stack days and helped her to deal with shame. Plant-based medicine was a pivotal moment in her recovery journey.   Ronda was molested as a young child, and it was one of many childhood traumas that contributed to her addiction. Shortly after confronting her abuser, she took her last drink. It was a burden off her shoulders that she didn't have to hide anymore.   Joy has permeated Ronda's life. She has learned new skills, confronted her past, and found many ways to have fun, including mediation, music, dancing, nature, bubble baths, community, and board games (particularly Bananagrams). Morning routines are critical to Ronda's sobriety routine. She removed herself from social media other than her recovery groups.   Odette's Summary   Odette talks about shame, day counts, and restarting. Committing to sobriety should add value, not shame, to your recovery. It's not about the date. It's about staying on the journey. Remember that you are not alone and together is always better.   Upcoming events, retreats, and courses: You can find more information about our events   Resources Connect with Cafe RE - Use the promo code OPPORTUNITY to waive the set-up fee. Recovery Elevator YouTube - Subscribe here! Sobriety Tracker iTunes    Recovery Elevator –We took the elevator down. We need to take the stairs back up. I love you guys.
5/2/202259 minutes, 22 seconds
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RE 375: Decoupling

Episode 375 – Decoupling   Today we have Amanda. She is 40, from Florida, and took her last drink on March 25, 2019.   The Bozeman Retreat has openings for men:  https://www.recoveryelevator.com/bozeman/   Exact Nature:  https://exactnature.com/RE 20   Highlights from Paul   Paul discusses anxiety and decoupling. Paul’s tipping point was in 2017 when his anxiety or hangxiety was so bad that he thought he was having a heart attack. As he sobered up, the anxiety temporarily worsened, then improved dramatically. 85-90% of Paul’s anxiety is gone today. Anxiety no longer controls him.   Decoupling is untangling the thoughts, actions, and behaviors no longer serving you. Decoupling is a muscle. Start small and watch the momentum build.    You are the Placebo:  https://amzn.to/3M3ChKJ     Better Help:  www.betterhelp.com/elevator - 10% off your first month                                                                               [10:20]  Amanda is married to a military husband and has two children. She works as a mental health provider. She loves time with her kids, baking, working out, and spending time with other sober people.    Amanda grew up in an alcoholic home. She grew up with verbal and emotional abuse and struggled with anxiety for most of her childhood. She was an athlete but quit. She began hanging out with an older crowd, and illicit drugs entered her life. She quickly reigned in the drug use. Going to school in New Orleans, her drinking escalated. Eventually, she discovered prescription drugs. She mixed them with alcohol.    She observed her mental obsession with alcohol during her second pregnancy. After having her first baby, she used alcohol to cope with the stress of motherhood and having a military husband who was gone a lot. At a birthday party, she drank a bottle of wine and still wanted more. She hoped her tolerance would reset, but it didn’t work that way.   Amanda was highly functioning, working full time, eating well, exercising, and caring for her children. Amanda described herself as arrogant because she knew the ins and outs of addiction because of her career but continued to drink.   After relocating from one part of the country to another, Amanda thought it was time to reign in her drinking. She started a fitness plan that included some aggressive nutritional goals that excluded alcohol to be more present. She felt great, but her drinking resumed. At her grandfather’s funeral, her husband noticed she drank an entire bottle of wine at 9 AM. Shortly after that, she knew she was “done” and told her husband she had a problem and needed help.    Amanda discovered Recovery Elevator and Café Re during her first two years. She has found the resources she needs to maintain her sobriety. She was initially active in AA. Community is now the core of her recovery. Feeling understood and accepted for all her parts is amazing. Amanda is learning to create distance from her thoughts, accept them and have compassion for herself and others.   Odette’s Summary   Odette thanks listeners for all the support and kind words she received during her last introduction to the podcast.   Remember that you are not alone and together is always better.   Upcoming events, retreats, and courses: You can find more information about our events   Resources Connect with Cafe RE - Use the promo code OPPORTUNITY to waive the set-up fee. Recovery Elevator YouTube - Subscribe here! Sobriety Tracker iTunes    Recovery Elevator –Every time we say no to booze, we say yes to ourselves. I love you guys.
4/25/202259 minutes, 2 seconds
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RE 374: Then Go Back Again

Episode 374 – Then go back again   Today we have Meegan. She is 37, from Georgia, and took her last drink on April 21, 2019.   Exact Nature:  https://exactnature.com/RE 20   Highlights from Paul   Addiction has the propensity to crack you open. We fight and dig our heels in, but eventually, the Addiction wins. This doesn’t mean you are destined to drink forever, but the Addiction cracks you open. Paul encourages listeners to use their energy to find what recovery method works for them. When you find it, go back again to the beginning. You will find that the messages you heard early in recovery have different lessons for you later in recovery. Go back again. Listen to those podcasts again, read the quit lit again or recovery books again, and do the steps again. You are a different person with a new set of skills,  experiences, and tools.    Revisiting those messages often provides a new value bomb.    Better Help:  www.betterhelp.com/elevator - 10% off your first month                                                                               [11:24] Meegan is a Family Nurse Practitioner and is married with three children. She loves running, snowboarding, and writing. Meegan describes a happy childhood until her parents had a tumultuous divorce, and it broke her heart. Life felt out of control. Meegan developed an eating disorder. She experimented with drinking in high school and described it as a rite of passage. Meegan made a few geographic moves for school.   After a few moves, Meegan landed in Georgia, got married, and immediately had a baby. She was part of the Mommy wine culture. That was a lightbulb moment. She recognized that drinking with the baby at age 24 wasn’t good. Wine calmed her down after dealing with the stress of night shifts. Meegan started having extreme panic attacks.    Training for a 100-mile ultra-marathon made her drinking take a back burner. Her panic attacks subsided. At 30, she got pregnant with twins. Her father died around the same time, and it broke her. The stress of twins and her father’s death caused her drinking to escalate.    Value Bomb:  You can be the best version of yourself or be hungover, but you can’t be both.    As her drinking progressed, her hangovers became more debilitating. During a trip to Europe, her solution to hangovers was to continue drinking. While in Capri, she started having bad withdrawal symptoms. As a nurse, she knew what that meant.   After returning home, she knew moderation wouldn’t work. Shortly after an embarrassing time with her family, she had a moment of clarity. She fell to her knees and asked God for help. The moment of clarity was a combination of spirituality, physical health, and mental health. She called her two best friends and promised her daughter she would never drink again. Her sister encouraged her to get a therapist.   Meegan acknowledged that she didn’t learn healthy coping mechanisms. In recovery, Meegan is learning to feel her feelings. Perfectionism was a theme in her early years. Telling her story is a way for Meegan to let others know that failure is okay.   Meegan “loves the quote, “Addiction is an experience, not an identity. “   Kris and Meegan encourage listeners to find the recovery that works for you.   Kris’s Summary   Friendships in recovery are invaluable. You experience people who are present, listen with their hearts, and never shame you. Kris encourages listeners to lean in to discomfort. Share your experience.    Upcoming events, retreats, and courses: You can find more information about our events   Resources Connect with Cafe RE - Use the promo code OPPORTUNITY to waive the set-up fee. Recovery Elevator YouTube - Subscribe here! Sobriety Tracker iTunes    Recovery Elevator –You are the only one who can do this, but you don’t have to do it alone. I love you guys.
4/18/20221 hour, 2 minutes, 52 seconds
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RE 373: Control and Connection

Episode 373– Control and Connection   Today we have Chris. She is 46, from Baltimore, and took her last drink on August 28, 2016.   Exact Nature:  https://exactnature.com/RE 20   Highlights from Paul   Paul thanks all the guests who have shared their stories to help us on the path toward sobriety. Paul wants to hear about your favorite episode or the value bombs that resonated with you. Please include the episode number if possible. Contact Paul at: [email protected].   Support this AF bar - https://volsteadzeroproof.com/   How are you reconciling the elements of control in your life? Paul talks about our struggles with control at the macro and micro levels. Is the opposite of control connection? We have never been more disconnected.   Paul’s homework for listeners is to invite a friend out to coffee instead of placing your mental energies on trying to control things. Go on a walk with your dog in Nature. Learn to play the ukulele with us, go on a meditation retreat, join Café RE, call your mom, volunteer at a soup kitchen, write a letter to someone in jail. All our lives depend on this, and we all have to do our part, which I know we can and know we will.   Better Help:  www.betterhelp.com/elevator - 10% off your first month                                                                               [10:16] Sherrie lives in Baltimore and has two adult children. She is a massage therapist and teaches movement. She is a competitive Irish dancer; she loves paddle boarding and hiking.   Alcoholism was a big part of Chris’ family. There was a lot of shame, and she steered clear of alcohol. She was the designated driver for her friends in high school. After she was married, she started drinking, and it rapidly progressed into a problem. After losing a pregnancy, she had a white light moment, and she went down a very dark hole. Alcohol became her coping mechanism to turn off the pain. She began losing clients and students and realized it was time to stop.   Physical pain and discomfort were warning signs for Chris that she wasn’t headed in a good direction. Her husband never thought her drinking was a problem. Moderation was his preferred choice. He didn’t think she needed to quit altogether, even when she asked for help. Waking up in a blur became commonplace. Chris started listening to recovery podcasts, and fear became the impetus to get her to quit drinking.   Chris’ clients started to notice a difference in her when she quit drinking. They asked, what’s different? She began her sober journey alone and listened to sobriety podcasts, including Recovery Elevator. She kept it quiet, even from her partner.   Chris attended a Recovery Elevator retreat and realized she was a dry drunk. Community became part of her recovery, and she credits Paul’s work for expanding her view of a sober life.   Lifestyle changes, including diet and exercise, became critical to Chris’ recovery. As she continued to get better, her husband got worse and tried to sabotage her efforts. Chris relies on community and meditative movement to maintain her sobriety.    Talking openly about alcohol use with her daughters has been crucial to Chris. They have open discussions about alcohol, marijuana, and other addictive substances. She reminds her daughters that she doesn’t drink and why and is very open about the predisposition for addiction in their family. Chris appreciates the power and control that have returned to her in a life without alcohol.   Odette’s Summary   [48:12] “The crap does not mean you are broken; it means you have room to grow.”  Odette encourages us to look at the opportunities to learn, change our perceptions and live a different life. You are not alone – together is always better.   Upcoming events, retreats, and courses: You can find more information about our events   Resources Connect with Cafe RE - Use the promo code OPPORTUNITY to waive the set-up fee. Recovery Elevator YouTube - Subscribe here! Sobriety Tracker iTunes    Recovery Elevator –Let's continue to be trailblazers in recovery together.   I love you guys.
4/11/202251 minutes, 37 seconds
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RE 372: The Three Stages of Healing

Episode 372– The three stages of healing   Today we have Sherrie. She is 58, from Oregon, and she took her last drink on January 21, 2019.   Highlights from Paul   Paul explains the stages of healing have less to do with how much time you were drinking and more to do with how you view your problems.  “The Energy Codes”: https://amzn.to/3I9MgMh   The three stages of healing are: Victimhood – you are playing the victim card Self Help – you identify the problem, then solve it Creatorship – there was never a problem; drinking was there to help me. You take responsibility for everything in your life.   Better Help:  www.betterhelp.com/elevator - 10% off your first month                                                                               [13:52] Sherrie lives in Oregon, has two children and three grandchildren. She loves hiking, kayaking, house projects, and her dog.   Sherrie lived overseas during her childhood. She started working at 16 and drank because older workers never asked about her age. Drinking was prevalent in her youth.   She was married young, but drinking wasn’t an issue until there was a turning point in her marriage. Her marriage had its ups and downs for many years. Empty nest syndrome changed her drinking, and gastric bypass surgery changed how her body processed alcohol. She could drink large amounts of alcohol and began to blackout.    Sherrie gained weight in hopes that her husband would leave her. As she approached her fifties (her father passed at age 54), she developed patterns of self-sabotage. After her second DUI, she knew it was time to make a change. She started counseling and stayed away from triggering moments like going to the grocery store. Her life revolved around recovery. Anytime she wasn’t working, she was focused on recovery.   AA is a significant part of Sherrie’s recovery, AND she incorporates other things that work for her like Café RE, sober travel, meditation, etc. Finding activities that take her focus off wanting to drink helps Sherrie stay on track. Sherrie has a positive outlook and looks forward to fun adventures ahead.   Odette’s Summary   [56:52] You are doing a great job. Acknowledge the work and effort you are making. Validate your own work. Be your own cheerleader. You are not alone – together is always better.   Upcoming events, retreats, and courses: You can find more information about our events   Resources Connect with Cafe RE - Use the promo code OPPORTUNITY to waive the set-up fee. Recovery Elevator YouTube - Subscribe here! Sobriety Tracker iTunes    Recovery Elevator –You took the elevator down. You’ve got to take the stairs back up.   I love you guys.
4/4/20221 hour, 14 seconds
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RE 371: Define Your Sobriety

Episode 371– Define your sobriety   Today we have Cyndi. She is 52, from California, and she took her last drink on  July 1, 2021.   Registration for the Bozeman retreat opens April 1. https://recoveryelevator.com/bozeman   Highlights from Paul   Recovery is recovering the person you were meant to be or is the most authentic version of yourself. This isn’t a practice you want to end. It’s not a checkbox or to-do list item. Besides, if you stick with it, you will start enjoying this work.   What is success in recovery? Paul says YOU should define success for the most essential endeavor of your life. Know your why and write it down. Loving yourself and being okay with yourself should top the list.   Kala Ukelele: www.kalabrand.com/elevator - 15% off your first ukelele Better Help:  www.betterhelp.com/elevator - 10% off your first month                                                                               [11:12] Cyndi is married loves hiking, puzzles, and pets.   Alcohol entered Cyndi’s life when she was sixteen. She loved it and had fun in the beginning. Cyndi’s recovery journey was progressive. Her drinking escalated after she got married. After a few comments from her husband, she tried an intensive outpatient program which wasn’t effective. Cyndi found herself reneging on all the promises she made to herself. She tried AA. After some soul searching and a request from her husband, she completely changed her approach. Her drinking was progressing, and things she swore she would never do, she was doing. Defiance, a desire for control, and physical cravings fueled her relapses.   Today Cyndi doesn’t isolate. She goes to AA daily, and she doesn’t put herself in situations where she may be tempted to drink. Podcasts, doing the work with her sponsor, and leveraging Café RE keep her sober.   Odette’s Summary   Give yourself permission to recover regardless of where you are in alcohol’s progressive nature.      Upcoming events, retreats, and courses: You can find more information about our events   Resources Connect with Cafe RE - Use the promo code OPPORTUNITY to waive the set-up fee. Recovery Elevator YouTube - Subscribe here! Sobriety Tracker iTunes    Recovery Elevator – without the darkness, you can never know the light. I love you guys.
3/28/202255 minutes, 35 seconds
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RE 370: R is for Recovery

Episode 370– Phases of Recovery   Today we have Stephanie. She is from Pennsylvania, and she took her last drink on  January 2, 2020.   Ditch the Booze:  https://recoveryelevator.com/cafére   Promo Code:  OPPORTUNITY   Finding your better you with Odette   After ten years of being in recovery, Odette discovers that she never asked herself what recovery means to her. Success means different things to different people. When Odette decided to add alcohol to her recovery journey, she enjoyed counting days and celebrating milestones. Fear is a common theme Odette noticed among her sober soulmates,  fear of failure.    Relapse has been part of Odette’s journey, and she spoke about how common relapse is for those in recovery. As she searched for the reasons she relapsed, she discovered depression, perfectionism, and shame patterns. Shame dissolves hope, and without hope, you stop showing up. Sobriety for Odette is about walking toward herself and her truth.   Odette encourages listeners to define sobriety and recovery for yourselves. Stay in the game, and don’t quit on yourself.   Kala Ukelele: www.kalabrand.com/elevator - 15% off your first ukelele Better Help:  www.betterhelp.com/elevator - 10% off your first month                                                                               [10:48] Stephanie is 42, a single mom of two boys, and lives in Pennsylvania. She loves running, cooking, and fund-raising. She is enrolled in nursing school.    Stephanie describes year two of sobriety as different:  a little less pink cloud and more work. She enjoys running and cooking.    Alcohol was an escape for Stephanie. She had a great 80’s upbringing but did encounter some trauma that she rarely spoke about. The trauma influenced her relationships. She became the girl who could outdrink the boys.   Much of her early drinking years are a blur for Stephanie.   After separating from her son’s father and her Dad’s diagnosis, Stephanie realized she had a problem. She was drinking to cope and not eating. She started running, quit smoking, and lost 50 pounds. She recalls having blackouts and not remembering conversations with her kids. Getting healthy for them became critical to her, so her kids wouldn’t have to care for her.   Community has always been important to Stephanie. She joined Café Re and has a group of friends in recovery. She bought the book, Alcohol is Sh!t, and once she finished the book, she knew “this was it.”  She knew moderation wasn’t enough.   Sobriety has opened Stephanie’s mind to all kinds of possibilities. The pandemic forced her out of the restaurant industry, and she found a nursing school. She is now in her second year of nursing school, making excellent grades. She created the “merch” department for Café RE. She is passionate about service and gift-giving. Stephanie is focused, driven, and living a life of possibilities. Recovery isn’t perfect. Life still has ups and downs, but recovery is worthwhile. She plans to incorporate recovery into her nursing career. “Find your people!”   Kris’s Summary   Recovery to Kris includes mediation, podcasting, service, meetings. He is learning that recovery isn’t a resume of self-awareness. Faith taught Kris to surrender. The quality of his recovery is because of the grace of God. Kris wants to keep learning. Recovery is an opportunity; it’s a chance, and Kris will do his best.    Upcoming events, retreats, and courses: You can find more information about our events   Resources Connect with Cafe RE - Use the promo code OPPORTUNITY to waive the set-up fee. Recovery Elevator YouTube - Subscribe here! Sobriety Tracker iTunes    Recovery Elevator – only you can do this, but you don’t have to do it alone. I love you guys.
3/21/20221 hour, 4 minutes, 49 seconds
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RE 369: You Can Be Right or You Can Have Peace

Episode 369– You can be right, or you can have peace   Today we have Katherine. She is from Colorado and took her last drink on September 24, 2021.   Ditch the Booze:  https://recoveryelevator.com/cafére   Promo Code:  OPPORTUNITY   Kala Brand Ukelele:  www.kalabrand.com/elevator   Highlights from Paul   Paul speaks to the rise of post-pandemic alcohol-free bars. Check out: https://www.wweek.com/bars/2022/02/17/portland-is-getting-its-first-zero-proof-bar-courtesy-of-no-booze-cocktail-kit-vendor-suckerpunch/   Paul speaks to brain fog and how much it impacts those of us with a history of drinking problems. Fortunately, Paul has experienced continued improvement in his cognitive function since ditching the Booze. Paul also credits meditation with improving his critical thinking and problem-solving skills. There is ample scientific evidence that meditation can rewire your thinking.   Paul also credits plant-based medicine, playing music, and being less reactive with helping his brain fog and mental cognition. Paul encourages listeners to be patient and allow mind, body, and soul to recalibrate after leaving alcohol behind. Once the PAWS (post-acute withdrawal symptoms) disappear, you will also see improvement in cognitive dissonance.   Paul describes a recent experience where he chose being right over peace and reminds us that he learned the hard way that it’s better to have peace than be right.   Better Help:  www.betterhelp.com/elevator                                                                               [13:46] Katherine is 45 and married with three children. She loves reading, working out, and skiing.    Katherine tried drinking in high school, but it wasn’t until the last twelve years that her drinking was problematic. She joined the army at 21. When she started drinking wine, she became infatuated with the hype of wine. She became the last one to leave the party. Work troubles and being stationed in a different place than her husband contributed to her escalated drinking.   Katherine and her husband drank together regularly. He quit with her, even though his drinking wasn’t problematic. He often expressed concern which Katherine experienced as controlling. She didn’t understand how much her drinking was affecting him. Signs appeared that her drinking was a problem, but she dismissed them. Now, she has her friend back.    Katherine is reluctant to admit that she medicated with wine and used it to overcome the stresses of motherhood. A heavy-drinking mommy peer group became a permission slip to drink more. A series of divine interventions inspired her to quit for good. She completed a 90-day intensive outpatient program and listened to Recovery Elevator podcasts for inspiration.    Katherine encourages listeners to be gentle with themselves; give yourself grace. She has learned that expressing her feelings out loud takes away their power. Reading has become a great escape.    Odette’s Summary   Know how to sit with others when they are in pain. Odette read this in Brene Brown’s latest book. Learning to hold space for others and just be with others is challenging but worthwhile.   Remember, you are not alone. Together is always better.   Upcoming events, retreats, and courses: You can find more information about our events   Resources Connect with Cafe RE - Use the promo code OPPORTUNITY to waive the set-up fee. Recovery Elevator YouTube - Subscribe here! Sobriety Tracker iTunes    Recovery Elevator – it all starts from the inside out. I love you guys.
3/14/20221 hour, 3 minutes, 31 seconds
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RE 368: The Mind F&ck of Alcohol

Episode 368 – The Mind F&ck of Alcohol   Today we have Stephen. He is from New Jersey and took his last drink on September 15, 2020.   Ditch the Booze:  https://recoveryelevator.com/cafére   Promo Code:  OPPORTUNITY   Highlights from Paul   Paul shares an email from a listener who asks Paul how people without a drinking problem can get help. He talks about the A&E show “Intervention” and how he often watched it while drinking alone, grateful he didn’t have a problem with alcohol. The show, Intervention gave Paul countless examples of how alcohol “f&cks” with your mind.   After 276 interventions on the show, 270 accepted treatment, with 151 remaining clean and sober today, which is a 55% success rate. If those numbers are accurate, they are much more optimistic than the broadly accepted low teen success rate you hear from the industry.   Paul reminds listeners that you probably have a drinking problem if you are listening to a sobriety podcast. The point of addiction is to get to know yourself and love yourself.    Better Help:  www.betterhelp.com/elevator                                                                               [13:10] Stephen is 45 and lives in New Jersey. He is a father (a “girl dad”), coach, and owns his own business. He loves coaching, sports, and everything outside.      Stephen’s relationship with alcohol evolved over 25 years. Alcohol was his biggest challenge, but he also used marijuana. He dabbled in underage drinking and had fun on the Jersey shore. He managed his drinking well for many years. When his second daughter was born, he began to acknowledge his drinking was problematic. His drinking escalated over the years. He and his wife danced with moderation, and he occasionally took days off drinking. Stephen was the driver of the drinking in his marriage.   Stephen credits Paul Churchill’s book with getting him sober. He tried several programs before he found Recovery Elevator. Ultimately, he went to a four-day detox. He was full of energy and enthusiasm after leaving detox. He relapsed a few times but rallied and has been able to stack days. Mismatched drinking habits pushed the end of his marriage. Meditation, journaling, exercise, and accountability are his best sobriety tools.    Value Bombs   Learning that alcohol was the symptom, not the problem, was eye-opening Enjoy the moments Once it gets good (in sobriety), it gets great quickly. Everything compounds.   Odette’s Summary   If you are seeking anything outside of self, you are taking the long way home. Odette reminds us that everything we need is inside of us. There is no shame in having doubt. Stay on the path! Remember, you are not alone. Together is always better.   Upcoming events, retreats, and courses: You can find more information about our events   Resources Connect with Cafe RE - Use the promo code OPPORTUNITY to waive the set-up fee. Recovery Elevator YouTube - Subscribe here! Sobriety Tracker iTunes    Recovery Elevator – it all starts from the inside out. I love you guys.
3/7/20221 hour, 16 minutes, 15 seconds
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RE 367: Why Geographical Cures Don't Work

Episode 367 – Why geographical cures won’t work.   Today we have Aaron. He is from San Antonio and took his last drink on May 22, 2019.   Ukulele:  https://kalabrand.com/elevator   Highlights from Paul   Paul advises listeners that if you aren’t doing the inner work, your problems will follow you, whether you move, change jobs, or change relationships. That’s why geographic cures don’t work. He speaks about some of his geographic solutions and why they helped temporarily, but eventually, he discovered he was the problem and had to buckle down to do the deep inner work. Paul highly recommends getting out of toxic situations.    Paul describes the inner work as connecting with yourself, learning to love yourself, setting boundaries, making decisions that benefit your sobriety, and standing up for yourself. Ultimately, inner work often causes you to leave toxic situations, relationships, jobs, etc.   When you learn to respect yourself, you will choose environments that are conducive to your wholeness.    Better Help:  www.betterhelp.com/elevator                                                                               [11:54] Aaron is 27, lives in Texas, and works in finance for a corporate bank. He is a family guy, loves hiking, getting outside, food truck Friday’s and hanging out with his nieces and nephews.      Aaron was raised by an amazing single mother and had a great childhood. His world was rocked when his mom died of breast cancer when he was twelve. Entering high school after losing his mom left him feeling disconnected from family, people, places, and himself. He started drinking his sophomore year, and alcohol gave him confidence, popularity, and connection. He moved to the Midwest to live with his sister and encountered a new environment, including harsh winters. Boredom led to more drinking, pot use, and the wrong crowd.    Aaron spoke heartfeltly about the role shame played in his delay in maintaining continuous sobriety. Resentments and anger fueled his drinking. He was 24 when he first attempted sobriety. Eventually, an early morning AA meeting became the key to stacking days. He started working out and listened to the Recovery Elevator podcast during his workout. His mom became a higher power for him as he got sober. Sharing his story with you today is Aaron’s way to give back and offer hope.    Aaron discovered some co-addictions along the way, including co-dependency and disordered eating,   Value Bombs   You don’t have to have a hard physical bottom to get sober. You can get sober because you want a better life You can stay sober because you have a better life. A solid morning routine and discipline led him to stacking days. Discipline has taught him to choose what matters most: his health, career, and family. Aaron’s relationships are now pure and genuine because he made a change. Sitting with his feelings and journaling have helped him live life on life’s terms. Sobriety is an opportunity, not a sacrifice.   Odette’s Summary Odette reminds us that baby steps are progress. She reminds us we are too hard on ourselves and encourages us to remember the small things we are doing that move us in the right direction. Baby steps add up and create a compound effect. Those baby steps are decisions and small actions culminating in meaningful differences. Take inventory of the small things you are doing that move you in the right direction, and be proud! Remember that you are not alone and together is always better.   Upcoming events, retreats, and courses: You can find more information about our events   Resources Connect with Cafe RE - Use the promo code OPPORTUNITY to waive the set-up fee. Recovery Elevator YouTube - Subscribe here! Sobriety Tracker iTunes    Recovery Elevator – we took the elevator down; we need to take the stairs back up. I love you guys.
2/28/202253 minutes, 47 seconds
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RE 366: Walking Each Other Home

Episode 366 – Walking each other home   Today we have Hailey. She is 29, from Portland, OR, and took her last drink on September 3, 2019.   Connect with Cafe RE   Highlights from Paul   Focus on the similarities, not the differences – if you believe you are unique, your inner voice can sabotage your efforts. Create a plan or strategy that will help you in those challenging moments when you want to drink. Have it with you and use it. Be mindful of the inner voice that can cause you to self-implode. Awareness helps you override negative inner thoughts. Walk each other home – listen to others, help others, and shine the light on a new way of living. As you heal, you will help others heal as well. Say thanks to those that walk you home. When you find love, enjoy life.   Better Help:  www.betterhelp.com/elevator                                                                               [11:35] Hailey has been sober for 2 ½ years and describes sobriety as different in the third year.   She has been in the restaurant business forever. She lives in Oregon and has done several interesting things in the restaurant industry, including opening some restaurants in the Dominican Republic. She got sober in Minnesota and pivoted into the NA beverage business. She works for a non-profit that supports restaurant industry individuals in addiction crisis. Hailey loves longboarding but admits it's difficult in the rain.   Hailey tried alcohol and pot at age 12. She did a lot of experimenting with drugs at music festivals while her parents worked their food cart. She opened a cocktail catering company and developed an addiction to cocaine to get more done. Achievement and praise are Hailey's first addictions. She described taking it further than others to get uncomfortably high. She was reckless. She continues to feel she doesn't get enough done in a day. Her industry perpetuated that feeling.    She recalls marking the day it was one year from recognizing she had a problem and not doing anything about it. She wanted to get sober quickly and realized she had to take a break from her life to get sober. A friend connected her with a professional interventionist who helped her get into Hazelden.   Hailey's secret sauce for recovery is a robust gratitude practice coupled with things that make her proud. Hailey spent 31 days inpatient, followed by a month of outpatient treatment. She was convinced that her only problem was cocaine, not alcohol. Studying addiction instilled a healthy fear, and she became willing to work the steps. She went to meetings, sold her business assets, and took a part-time job to focus on recovery. "Ben's friends" (https://www.bensfriendshope.com/) and the right sponsor took her recovery to another level.   Hailey was very protective of her recovery during the first two years. With a solid foundation, she frequently explores other recovery venues. Service is vital to her success, and Hailey shares her story with Ben's friends to provide experience, strength, and hope to others in her industry. She relies on consistency over intensity.   Kris's Summary Kris speaks to consistency over intensity and avoiding risky behaviors to maintain his sobriety. Building a life he loves so much that drinking doesn't have a place in it is at the core of his recovery. He learns more about his faith as he digs into his spiritual practice. Kris continues to learn and grow his recovery portfolio. He focuses on what he needs right now. Accountability keeps him on track.    Kris encourages listeners to look at your recovery with curiosity instead of judgment. Complacency is dangerous in recovery. Show gratitude for the tools that work for you. Find the practices that build you up and bring you joy.    Upcoming events, retreats, and courses: You can find more information about our events   Resources Connect with Cafe RE - Use the promo code OPPORTUNITY to waive the set-up fee. Recovery Elevator YouTube - Subscribe here! Sobriety Tracker iTunes    Recovery Elevator – you deserve a beautiful life. I love you guys.
2/21/20221 hour, 2 minutes, 35 seconds
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RE 365: So Who Do I Connect With?

Episode 365 – So Who Do I Connect With?   Today we have Joshua. He is 36 years old and from North Carolina. His last drink was on October 31, 2020.   https://kalabrand.com/   Highlights from Paul:   Happy Valentine’s Day! The opposite of addiction is connection. Paul shares that reality is a mirror reflecting your inner world. The most important connection we have is the connection we have with ourselves. If we don’t love, treat ourselves with respect or stand up for ourselves, that will appear in our outer world. Connecting with yourself allows you to become your own healer. Once your inner connection/relationship is healthy, that will be reflected in your external connections.   Paul recommends splitting your internal and external actions 50/50. Connect with yourself first (via meditation, journaling, yoga, etc.), then connect externally (Café RE chat, Marco Polo chat, a family member).   Johan Hari’s Ted Talk https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PY9DcIMGxMs   BetterHelp: www.betterhelp.com/elevator   [10:45] Odette introduces Joshua   Joshua is from North Carolina, loves music, and works as an optician.    “Should” never helped Joshua quit drinking. Focusing on what he wanted from his life helped him shift his thinking and made an alcohol-free life possible.    Joshua’s first drink was a Zima at a party in high school. He was generally a good kid and had a strong desire to belong.   He recognized that alcohol did something for him early on before it did something to him. The first time he recalls getting drunk, he felt a euphoric escape. Alcohol was liberating and medicating. In college, a sneakiness appeared in his drinking. He wasn’t aware of alcohol being problematic until 2014.   After divorcing, pent-up resentments led to accelerated drinking for Joshua. His drinking progressed. He attended his first AA meeting in 2017. After several false starts, AA helped him get 18 months of continuous sobriety. He stopped working his program and returned to drinking. He began to observe his drinking, and by Halloween, a dream helped him realize he wanted to be his best, and alcohol wasn’t part of that vision.   Joshua credits AA for helping him and describes AA as binary; he has a realistic view of their history and acknowledges that many options are available for recovery today.     Therapy helped him with harm reduction and to be less black and white. Josh says quitting alcohol is hard, but the complications of drinking make your life exponentially harder. He is happier, more grateful, and knows the perceived benefits of alcohol were a lie. Life still has its ups and downs, which are easier to manage.   Odette’s final thoughts:   You are enough. You are everything you need. You are loved. You are worthy. You are whole and complete, and you deserve a peaceful life.    Upcoming events, retreats, and courses:   You can find more information about our events    Sponsors:   BetterHelp: www.betterhelp.com/elevator   Affiliate Link for Amazon: Shop via Amazon using this link.   The book, Alcohol is SH!T, is out. Pick up your paperback copy on Amazon here! You can get the Audible version here!     Resources:  Connect with Cafe RE - Use the promo code OPPORTUNITY to waive the set-up fee. Recovery Elevator YouTube - Subscribe here! Sobriety Tracker iTunes    “Recovery Elevator –lighten up!
2/14/20221 hour, 6 minutes, 41 seconds
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RE 364: Booze Cruise

Episode 364 – Booze Cruise   Today we have Ben. He is 41 from England and took his last drink on September 26, 2021.   Exact Nature exactnature.com Code:  RE20   Highlights from Paul   Paul shares some highlights from Recovery Elevator’s recent trip to Costa Rica. The group wound up on a booze cruise, remained sober, and had more fun dancing, swimming, and connecting than others who were drinking. The group trusted Paul and had a blast.   Anxiety and depression often happen when we feel disconnected. Paul described driving through Montana in a location where people waived to one another on the road. That simple gesture was a form of mini-connection; it feels good and elevates dopamine levels in a healthy way. When you perform an act of kindness, it always provokes another. Paul suggests waiving at someone at a stoplight and reminds us that the opposite of addiction is connection.    Better Help:  www.betterhelp.com/elevator                                                                               [11:29] Ben looks at not drinking as an opportunity, not a punishment. The work inspires him, and it feels like a reward.    Ben is a musician; he’s single and age 41. He loves reading, movies, exercise, board games, video games and aspires to get into amateur dramatics. He no longer needs alcohol to have fun, experience life, and do the things he can write songs about. His mindset is now hopeful and optimistic vs. trapped and hopeless.    Ben started drinking as a teenager at a party. He was under lots of pressure because he was into rock music, had long hair, and nobody approved. Drinking gave him an escape. He never drank when he played because he enjoyed the euphoria of performing. It was “game on” at the afterparties. He developed an eating disorder, which led to binge eating, drinking, and then starving. Hypnotherapy helped his eating disorder, giving him a sense of peace. Writing down what he ate to address his eating disorder helped Ben identify patterns in his drinking.    As his drinking progressed, it began to impact his performances. He often drank on the tour bus all night and partied into the next day. Anxiety, paranoia, and confusion crept into his daily life. He was constantly looking for something fun and continued drinking to avoid reality. He began drinking alone, which impaired his ability to enjoy music. Consequences began to emerge. Ben explored AA, and he was initially put off by those who continued coming to meetings after decades of sobriety. During his first share, he broke into tears. He was shaken to discover how much alcohol meant to him. His drinking progressed, and he became reckless. At some point, he recognized he was powerless over alcohol.    In 2021, Ben had three scary incidents that involved his work, health, and a friendship. He was scared sober. Initially, it wasn’t difficult. Finding a new addiction or habit was his initial plan. He spent hours playing computer games and was grateful because those hours were time he wasn’t drinking. Ben treats his sobriety like the levels of a computer game, adding new behaviors with each progression.     Odette’s Summary Odette speaks about “The Happiness Trap,” a book she is discussing with her therapist. It debunks the myth that we are supposed to be happy all the time. The daily actions we take allow us to feel joy, pain, and boredom. Even uncomfortable actions propel us toward a life we want.       Upcoming events, retreats, and courses: You can find more information about our events   Resources Connect with Cafe RE - Use the promo code OPPORTUNITY to waive the set-up fee. Recovery Elevator YouTube - Subscribe here! Sobriety Tracker iTunes      Recovery Elevator – embrace the journey of becoming. I love you guys.
2/7/20221 hour, 17 minutes, 49 seconds
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RE 363: The Most Powerful Pharmacy in the World

Episode 363 – The most powerful pharmacy in the world   Today we have Brian. He is 48 years old and from Ohio. His last drink was on March 31, 2019.   For more information about our Denver event, please go here.   Exact Nature www.exactnature.com Code: RE20   Highlights from Paul: How do you leverage the brain to work in your favor?   Acknowledge there is a problem.  Make sure your mental energies match your goal. Use the thinking mind to pull up a good memory (vacation, significant accomplishment). The cycle: The more the nervous system is in check, the more you want to do things that bring you joy. The more you do something that brings you joy, the more your nervous system calms down.   Listen to the nature sounds playlist. We forget that we come from nature; we evolved with crickets and blue jays. All you need to do is listen to nature sounds and allow them to calm the nervous system.   BetterHelp: www.betterhelp.com/elevator   [11:19] Odette introduces Brian   Brian has been sober for 1000 days.  He is from Cleveland, Ohio, likes mountain biking, the outdoors, art museums, and travel.    Drinking became an issue for Brian after high school.  He experimented with drinking, pot, and methamphetamines.  He was an addict for a year and eventually went to rehab.  He dropped illicit drugs and continued drinking.  His family drank, so they wanted him to quit drugs but continue drinking.  Brian did everything to excess.  He had two failed marriages, and his drinking always led to bad situations.  He believed he could control his drinking.   In 2018, Brian started a new job.  He blacked out at the end of a training event, and he knew he had to quit.  He stopped on April 1 but was a dry drunk.  He was always angry.  He didn’t know what to do because drinking was always a reward.   Today, Brian listens to podcasts and finds the similarities.  He meditates.  Regulating his emotions has been a struggle, but it’s getting better.  Café Re drove his recovery.  His goal is not to be an embarrassment anymore.  Brian removed himself from all his prior activities to avoid triggers.  Now he follows the 7 Habits, s, lives his values, and sobriety is his number one priority.  He appreciates his wife’s support, and they have a solid partnership.  After a year of firsts (holidays, anniversaries), he felt stronger in his recovery.  He is a better husband, a better stepdad, and his career has progressed.               You may have to say adios to booze if...    If you find yourself crying in the shower, not knowing how you got to your room.   Odette’s final thoughts:   Getting through a year of firsts is a legitimate challenge.   Don’t let the images of sobriety being easy or perfect discourage you.  Sobriety takes time.  It is uncomfortable; it is normal to feel angry; it’s not always fun.  Focus on doing the next right thing.  It gets better.   Upcoming events, retreats, and courses:   You can find more information about our events    Sponsors:   Exact Nature www.exactnature.com Code: RE20 BetterHelp: www.betterhelp.com/elevator   Affiliate Link for Amazon: Shop via Amazon using this link.   The book, Alcohol is SH!T, is out. Pick up your paperback copy on Amazon here! You can get the Audible version here!     Resources:  Connect with Cafe RE - Use the promo code OPPORTUNITY to waive the set-up fee. Recovery Elevator YouTube - Subscribe here! Sobriety Tracker iTunes    “Recovery Elevator –we took the elevator down; we need to take the stairs back up - I love you guys.”
1/31/202249 minutes, 59 seconds
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RE 362: Acceptance is the Answer

Today we have Noelle. She is 31 years old and from Colorado. Her last drink was on June 24, 2019.   Highlights from Odette   Odette is working on Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT) with her therapist. ACT encourages people to embrace their thoughts and feelings rather than fighting or feeling guilty for them.   Odette is learning not to shove her feelings away but to accept them and learn not to fuse them. Embracing negative thoughts can propel you into the right thoughts and behaviors.    If I let this thought guide what I can do, will it help me create the life I want? Use the thought if it helps; diffuse it if it's not helpful.    betterhelp.com/elevator   [8:54] Kris introduces Noelle     Noelle has been sober for 2.5 years – over 900 days!   She is an engineer and works with her brother. She has a Doberman and loves hiking, skiing, and getting outside to enjoy Colorado.   Noelle had a fake ID at 17 and always thought about how to get alcohol easier. She got into college because of her basketball skills. She got a DUI at 18, but there were no consequences. She and others justified her drinking because she excelled academically, professionally, and in basketball. She drank to get drunk. She crashed her truck for her 2nd DUI, and the consequences didn't faze her yet. She continued to excel professionally. Workaholism and alcoholism went hand in hand for Noelle.    Noelle's got her third DUI at age 27. She went to jail and had five months of work release and in-home detention. She accepted a TOP 30 under 30 business award, but she wore an ankle monitor during the awards ceremony and slept in a cot in jail that night. Six months later, she stopped drinking. She was a dry drunk; she just removed the alcohol. She had a one-day relapse. The following day she went to an AA meeting. Noelle has now learned that sobriety is about quality vs. quantity. She has a sponsor, is working the steps, and spiritual elegance is part of her journey.   At her sponsor's urging, she wrote a drunkalogue which helped her see the wreckage of her past and the risky behavior. Noelle has learned that you are exactly where you are supposed to be. She is now learning to live in peace with unsolved problems.    Noelle met Odette in April when she was hiking at Zion National Park. Meeting Odette was a higher power "God shot" moment in front of hundreds of people. Recovery Elevator podcasts were critical to her early recovery and AA meetings.    You may have to say adios to booze if...    You get a Denver Business Award journal for the Top 30 Under 30 and sleep in a cot in jail that night.   Kris's final thoughts:   Kris spoke about the impact that his drinking had on his loved ones. A door opened after a challenging conversation with his wife. Acknowledging her comments, he was scared and hopeless and beginning to face the consequences of his actions. Faith carried Kris through, and he reminds us to do the next right thing. We heal with each step we take.    Upcoming events, retreats, and courses:   You can find more information about our events    Sponsor: BetterHelp  www.betterhelp.com/elevator   Affiliate Link for Amazon: Shop via Amazon using this link.   The book, Alcohol is SH!T, is out. Pick up your paperback copy on Amazon here! You can get the Audible version here!     Resources:  Connect with Cafe RE - Use the promo code OPPORTUNITY to waive the set-up fee. Recovery Elevator YouTube - Subscribe here! Sobriety Tracker iTunes          "Recovery Elevator –the door has been opened; let's walk through this together- I love you guys."
1/24/20221 hour, 3 minutes, 16 seconds
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RE 361: A Healthy Cycle

Today we have Eric. He is 58 years old and from New Jersey. His last drink was on February 10, 2019.     The RE Alcohol Free Ukulele course registration is open! Sign up here.   For more information about our Denver event, please go here.     From Paul: Why is working with the nervous system so important?   The cycle: The more the nervous system is in check the more you want to do things that bring you joy. The more you do things that bring you joy, the more your nervous system calms down.   Listen to the nature sounds playlist. We forget that we come from nature, we evolved with the crickets and blue jays. All you have to do is listen to nature sounds and allow it to calm the nervous system.     [10:03] Odette introduces Eric.     Eric is 58 years old and from New Jersey. He is a teacher. He also enjoys performing in theater as well as teaching theater. For fun he likes hiking and going to the gym. Being in nature is important to him.   He grew up around alcohol and for him it was very normalized. As a kid in high school, he would take beer from his father and drink them on camping trips. In college is where he said his drinking ramped up. He was able to get drunk very fast and he began to black out from time to time.   After two DUIs in the Midwest he took a job in New Jersey and continued drinking. He then received a 3rd DUI and a 4th DUI. But because it was in a different state he skated under the radar and was able to deal with lower ramifications.   February 10, 2018 his mother passed. He thought to him as he was on the plane home “Now the healing can begin”. He’s been learning what that means ever since.     You may have to say adios to booze if...    you are now dealing with your 5th DUI and you still think it’s just a glitch and it’s not a problem.       Odette’s final thoughts:     Don’t put so much pressure on yourself. Get off the rat race and be kind to yourself. Take a moment today and focus on something good. Accept where you are.       Upcoming events, retreats and courses:   You can find more information about our events    Sponsors:   Exact Nature www.exactnature.com Code: RE20 BetterHelp: www.betterhelp.com/elevator   Affiliate Link for Amazon: Shop via Amazon using this link.   The book, Alcohol is SH!T, is out. Pick up your paperback copy on Amazon here! You can get the Audible version here!     Resources:  Connect with Cafe RE - Use the promo code OPPORTUNITY to waive the set-up fee. Recovery Elevator YouTube - Subscribe here! Sobriety Tracker iTunes          “Recovery Elevator –stay awkward and weird, you won’t regret it- I love you guys.”
1/17/202258 minutes, 7 seconds
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RE 360: The Nervous System

Today we have Lane. She is from San Francisco. Her last drink was on December 30, 1996.   The RE Alcohol Free Ukulele course registration opens January 7th 2022. Sign up here. For more information about our Denver event, please go here.     Paul reminds you that you’re declining one drink at a time. When we think about quitting drinking, a scenario arises in our mind with 100’s of people, simultaneously offering us drinks, all at once. That will never happen, and just like one day at a time, you’re saying no to one drink at a time.     As Paul mentioned at the end of last year he wants to cover the Nervous System, which is what he’ll be covering today, and in future episodes. Today he covers why it’s important to have a balanced nervous system and he explains, in layman's terms, what the nervous system is.   [11:38] Odette introduces Lane.   Lane is in her 50s, and lives in San Francisco, CA.  She took her last drink on December 30, 1996.  Lane is a wife and mother and a mindfulness and meditation teacher.  Lane loves to hike, listen to really good music and dance.   Lane had her first drink at the age of 12 and blacked out.  This pattern continued with her into her 20s.  She loved the effect that alcohol had on her.  She was very involved in sports during school and nobody knew she was drinking like she was.    Everything on the outside looked normal, but on the inside she depended on that drink.  She didn’t think she had a problem because her friends drank like she did.  To be hungover was normal, was life.    It wasn’t until she sent her best friend to the hospital with a concussion, while in a blackout, that she started to think that something was wrong with her drinking.    On New Years Eve (1996) she went to a “meeting” with some friends, unknowingly this meeting turned out to be an AA meeting.  She heard the message of recovery that night and had hope.    When Lane was 5 years sober she fell into Buddhism and found a way out, through prayer and meditation and that has been the golden thread throughout the last 20 years of her recovery.    Lane says becoming a mother 12 years ago has been the most challenging thing in her recovery.    You may have to say adios to booze if...    you just drank and you get into a car and you drive.     Odette’s final thoughts:   Take care of yourself, believe in yourself and believe in possibility.     Upcoming events, retreats and courses:   You can find more information about our events    Sponsors: SOBERLINK:Did you know there are 15 million people in the U.S. with an Alcohol Use Disorder? And yet, there is still a stigma that surrounds addiction and recovery. We need to stop being ashamed and start sharing in our sobriety. That’s why we’re so excited to have a sponsor like Soberlink who shares in our beliefs. If you haven’t heard of the Soberlink alcohol monitoring system, it’s the perfect accountability tool for those in recovery. It can help you rebuild trust and get back on track despite slips or relapses. We’ve teamed up with Soberlink to provide you with “Tips for Handling a Relapse” which is a guide that can be downloaded at www.soberlink.com/recovery-elevator. On that page, you’ll also find a form to sign up for a $50-off promo code for you or a loved one who is ready to take the next step in their recovery journey.   Exact Nature exactnature.com  Code: RE20   Affiliate Link for Amazon: Shop via Amazon using this link.   The book, Alcohol is SH!T, is out. Pick up your paperback copy on Amazon here! You can get the Audible version here!     Resources:  Connect with Cafe RE - Use the promo code OPPORTUNITY to waive the set-up fee. Recovery Elevator YouTube - Subscribe here! Sobriety Tracker iTunes        “Recovery Elevator –together is always better- I love you guys.”
1/10/202251 minutes, 34 seconds
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RE 359: Silence Bruno

Today we have Shea. She is 42 years old and from Michigan. Her last drink was on August 9, 2021.     The RE Dry January course: REstore began January 1. There’s still time to join us! Sign up here. The RE Alcohol Free Ukulele course registration opens January 7th 2022. Sign up here. For more information about our Denver event, please go here.       From Paul: “I cannot tell you how to quit drinking”   For Paul the most important thing that helped him along his journey to being alcohol free is: accountability. Paul tells his story of one of his attempts to stop drinking in 2014. He told his family he needed help.   Paul’s 2022 goal is simply: To be sober.   As he continues to build time away from alcohol, he wants to remind listeners that even he doesn’t have it all together. And the thing he’s most proud of is the ability to recognize the insanity of his own thinking mind.   * Silencio Bruno *       [09:03] Odette introduces Shea.     Shea is 42 years old and from Michigan. She took her last drink on August 9, 2021. She has two boys, a full time physicians assistant for cardiac surgery and is also in Law School. For fun she loves to move her body, recovery related activities and build community.   In Shea’s senior year of high school she began to develop coping mechanisms for trauma through her life. At first the focus was on an eating disorder and then she turned to alcohol. Immediately she took to alcohol and drugs and she lost all fear. While she knew this path was wrong, she wanted freedom and thought it was here. By 18 she had developed an addiction to heroin, but focused on school with daily drinking. During this time she also attended her first AA meeting. Through some admitted luck she was able to avoid jail time and was put into a court appointed drug and alcohol program.   After 13 years (2015) of alcohol and drug recovery she decided she wasn’t an addict anymore and began to drink again and would be able to moderate. Before the first glass of wine was done she was planning the second.   The community and steps of AA work for her, knowing that there are a million different avenues she can take to recovery has made her experience this time around different and meaningful. Finding and accepting her own self honesty has given her freedom.     You may have to say adios to booze if...    you are finding bottles in your basement in old boxes and you don’t remember putting them there.       Odette’s final thoughts:     This is a great time to set some goals and intentions. Write down what you want to happen this year.       Upcoming events, retreats and courses:   You can find more information about our events    Sponsor: Exact Nature exactnature.com  Code: RE20   Affiliate Link for Amazon: Shop via Amazon using this link.   The book, Alcohol is SH!T, is out. Pick up your paperback copy on Amazon here! You can get the Audible version here!     Resources:  Connect with Cafe RE - Use the promo code OPPORTUNITY to waive the set-up fee. Recovery Elevator YouTube - Subscribe here! Sobriety Tracker iTunes          “Recovery Elevator –together is always better- I love you guys.”
1/3/202250 minutes, 51 seconds
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RE 358: Don't Forget to Sing Your Song

Episode 358 – Don’t Forget to Sing Your Song   Today we have Randy.  He is 43, from Indianapolis, and took his last drink on December 30, 2016.   Registration is now open for Restore which begins January 1,2022.   https://www.recoveryelevator.com/restore/   Highlights from Paul   This week’s tips from Paul include:  1) not everyone drinks, 2) sing, 3) give yourself a hug and say I love you.   There is a lot of uncertainty in the world and change is hard.  Find your song, that melody in your soul that is uniquely you that you sing over and over. You are the master creator of your life. https://www.recoveryelevator.com/meditations/   Exact Nature exactnature.com Code:  RE20                                                                               [9:27] Randy has been sober for nearly 5 years.  He is married with 4 kids and loves animals and running.   Randy was on episode 129.  Randy was in the restaurant business, and he was always surrounded by people who drank.  Toward the end, the hangovers and anxiety began to take a toll on him.    Drinking was a reward for Randy.  Today, Randy doesn’t have to think about drinking.  He isn’t spending money on alcohol.  Now he can afford season tickets to the Colt’s game.  He doesn’t have to think about getting there or getting back, because he is sober.    Randy is now methodical vs living on instant gratification.  He is more approachable and he loves giving service to others.   Initially watching football was really hard for Randy, because the sport was so engrained with alcohol.  Now he enjoys games more than ever.     Kris’s Summary Kris speaks to the term chosen family.  Kris’ recovery family wants him to be successful and free.   They take him at his best and his worst.  They laugh together, cry together, dance and walk the path together.  We need to open up, be vulnerable and let others love us until we learn to love ourselves.  You can do this.    Sponsor: Exact Nature exactnature.com  Code:  RE20   Holiday 2021 AF Survival Guide   Stock up on your favorite AF beverages or another type of treat. Begin a new healthy practice that you enjoy. Develop a detailed craving game plan. FOMO to JOMO - Pick an upcoming event and sit it out. Select a Holiday Theme Song. Pick your Thanksgiving beverage of choice and enjoy One minute of intense mindfulness Sticky Note - Write a reminder, affirmation, or goal on a sticky note and place it somewhere where you’ll see it each day Have a fun escape plan Offer to do the dishes Study your why’s Rest Uno reverse card Remind yourself you are safe Play the tape forward Treat yourself to a gift Take 3 deep breaths   Upcoming events, retreats, and courses: You can find more information about our events   Resources Connect with Cafe RE - Use the promo code OPPORTUNITY to waive the set-up fee. Recovery Elevator YouTube - Subscribe here! Sobriety Tracker iTunes   
12/27/20211 hour, 1 minute, 7 seconds
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RE 357: Practice Saying No

Episode 357 – Practice Saying No   Today we have Jenn.  She is 34, from Michigan, and took her last drink on April 10, 2020.   Registration is now open for Restore which begins January 1,2022.   https://www.recoveryelevator.com/restore/.  AF Ukulele course starts 2/5/22 at 3 PM EST. https://www.recoveryelevator.com/ukulele/   Highlights from Paul   Paul talks about the parameters for success.  There’s an unhealthy paradigm in the sobriety world that it’s all a bust if we drink once. While continuous sobriety is the ultimate goal,  getting there is never pretty, and most likely is launched off a series of relapses or field research.  If you are drinking less than you did last holiday season, that’s a huge improvement.    This week’s tips from Paul include:  1) say no, 2) practice saying no, 3) create your own pep talk.   Sometimes the desire to stop drinking only swirls in our thoughts.  Don’t underestimate the power of thought.  Our thoughts are powerful.  They create our world.  Immediately discard the thoughts that don’t align with your goals.  Deconstruct them and become aware of thoughts that are not congruent with what you want and need in life.  Use the thinking mind for creation and visualization.  Visualize that you no longer drink.  Repeat it, say it out loud and repeat it again.  What you put in is what you get back.   https://www.recoveryelevator.com/meditations/   Exact Nature exactnature.com Code:  RE20                                                                               [12;43] Jenn took her last drink April 10, 2020.  She has a husband, two children and loves hiking, being in nature and spending time with her family.    Jenn said from her first sip of alcohol she felt some inner peace.  Her first black out was at age 14.  She started off with a bang and got in plenty of trouble.  She experienced some trauma and started to use alcohol as her coping mechanism. She had suicidal ideations and started cutting.  She drank a 5th a night.  Before she turned 21, she added cocaine.    She was a functioning alcoholic through her twenties and early thirties.  In her thirties, her drinking took on a dark shift.  She was suicidal and she knew that she had to save herself and get some help.  Jenn had to be brutally honest with herself.  She was asking the wrong people for help.  Her internal and external worlds were completely opposed.    Jenn had multiple attempts at sobriety.  She worked with a therapist for two years and real change began.  The accountability of Café RE reinforced her commitment to sobriety.  She is now a recovery coach.    Odette’s Summary Odette reminds us that change starts with us.  If you are waiting for things to change, for people to change, for life to change, you may be waiting for a long time. Recovery is our responsibility. Everything that we wish to see in others needs to start with us. Be the person you wish everyone around you was and see how life can change.   “I really think the secret to being loved is to love. And the secret to being interesting is being interested. And the secret to having a friend is being a friend.”   Sponsor: Exact Nature exactnature.com  Code:  RE20   Holiday 2021 AF Survival Guide   Stock up on your favorite AF beverages or another type of treat. Begin a new healthy practice that you enjoy. Develop a detailed craving game plan. FOMO to JOMO - Pick an upcoming event and sit it out. Select a Holiday Theme Song. Pick your Thanksgiving beverage of choice and enjoy One minute of intense mindfulness Sticky Note - Write a reminder, affirmation, or goal on a sticky note and place it somewhere where you’ll see it each day Have a fun escape plan Offer to do the dishes Study your why’s Rest Uno reverse card Remind yourself you are safe Play the tape forward Treat yourself to a gift Take 3 deep breaths   Upcoming events, retreats, and courses: You can find more information about our events   Resources Connect with Cafe RE - Use the promo code OPPORTUNITY to waive the set-up fee. Recovery Elevator YouTube - Subscribe here! Sobriety Tracker iTunes   
12/20/202157 minutes, 42 seconds
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RE 356: Play the Tape Forward

Episode 356 – Play the Tape Forward   Today we have Ashley.  She is 35 from Orange County, CA, and took her last drink on January 7, 2006.   Registration is now open for Restore, which begins January 1, 2022.   https://www.recoveryelevator.com/restore/ Café RE:  https://www.recoveryelevator.com/cafere/   Highlights from Paul   Paul encourages you to check in with yourself about your feelings about your AF journey.  There are more recovery modalities than ever.  Keep searching for the one that works for you.  This week’s tips are:  Play the tape forward.  Treat yourself to a gift.  Take three deep breaths into the lower lobes of the lung.    Drinking served a purpose for you initially.  Alcohol suppresses your inner turmoil: It gives you a sense of calm.  As you continue to suppress those voices, they grow louder, and you must drink more to make those feelings go away.  If you continue to override your internal guidance system, you live life truly blind, and nothing of significance takes place.  When do the miracles of sobriety occur?  Day 1, day 500?  It’s up to you to find out.  https://www.recoveryelevator.com/meditations/   Exact Nature exactnature.com Code:  RE20   [12:45] Ashley took her last drink on January 7, 2006.  She is married, has twin boys, and in 2010 co-founded an SV start-up that offers online outpatient addiction treatment.  She has a podcast called the courage to change.  https://www.lionrock.life/couragetochangepodcast  She is finishing her MBA, loves yoga, the outdoors, reading and comedy.  Since she got sober at 19, she has been revisiting fun at her current stage of life.   Ashley’s first drink was a beer she stole from her parents’ fridge, and it took her a week to finish it.  She felt like she was born with her skin too tight and always believed she was too much.  She tried to make herself into what others wanted her to be.   Ashley hired alcohol and drugs to do a job for her to make her feel okay and want to be on the planet.  By age 14, she was addicted to cocaine.  Through a boyfriend, she got addicted to heroin.   She was sent to several lockdown programs that were popular in early 2000.  She couldn’t stay sober in treatment.  She would create disasters, leave, and change treatment centers.  She eventually left treatment and decided to drink instead of doing drugs.    In 2006 she started going to AA meetings, listening, and letting go of her old ideas, which was hard to do.  Her life became different when she let others help her and did what they said.  She went to college, had relationships, and started a company.  Instagram: @sobermomsquad ; https://www.lionrockrecovery.com/   Ashley went to meetings four days a week in early sobriety and participated in the fellowship.  Ashley did not heal her trauma in 12-step; therapy was essential for Ashley to do the work.  A young people’s AA group in So CA allowed her to meet some great young people, and they partied without the alcohol.   She has been reinventing her recovery since having children.    Odette’s Summary Where do I feel safe enough to be my best calm self?   Sponsor: Exact Nature exactnature.com  Code:  RE20   Holiday 2021 AF Survival Guide   Stock up on your favorite AF beverages or another type of treat. Begin a new healthy practice that you enjoy. Develop a detailed craving game plan. FOMO to JOMO - Pick an upcoming event and sit it out. Select a Holiday Theme Song. Pick your Thanksgiving beverage of choice and enjoy One minute of intense MINDFULNESS Sticky Note - Write a reminder, affirmation, or goal on a sticky note and place it somewhere where you’ll see it each day Have a fun escape plan Offer to do the dishes Study your why’s Play the tape forward Buy yourself a gift Take three deep breaths   Upcoming events, retreats, and courses: You can find more information about our events   Resources Connect with Cafe RE - Use the promo code OPPORTUNITY to waive the set-up fee. Recovery Elevator YouTube - Subscribe here! Sobriety Tracker iTunes   
12/13/20211 hour, 1 minute, 19 seconds
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RE 355: The Uno Reverse Card

Episode 355 – the Uno reverse card.   Today we have Rocio.  She is 42, from Washington state, and took her last drink on August 31, 2020.   Registration is now open for Restore which begins January 1,2022.   https://www.recoveryelevator.com/restore/   Highlights from Paul   Paul reminds you if you drank over Thanksgiving or your sobriety plans aren’t going so hot, don’t kick the bucket to January or to the next holiday season.    This week’s tips from Paul include:  1) rest, 2) Uno reverse card – remember that most criticisms and judgments have nothing to do with you, 3) remind yourself that you are physically safe.  Much of our addiction is tied to an overactive nervous system that prevents us from departing from the fight or flight emotions.   When we’re drinking, there is no time left to create, to explore, to discover, to get to know, or reflect upon. Instead, we are picking up the pieces, sometimes trying to put the pieces together from the night before. Much of this behavior is the body seeking safety and refuge from situations that may have occurred decades ago. Relax and let your inner guidance take over.   https://www.recoveryelevator.com/meditations/   Exact Nature exactnature.com Code:  RE20                                                                               [11:29] Rocio took her last drink August 31, 2020.  Rocio is married with three sons and lives in Edmonds, WA.  Rocio had an abusive marriage and had the courage to leave her marriage.  Her drinking wasn’t a huge issue until the last 6 years.  As her kids started to grow, she became part of the mommy wine culture and alcohol was part of everything from sports events to PTA meetings and family gatherings.    She noticed she was starting to plan around events.   Her husband was concerned, and always approached her with an attitude of help.  Rocio didn’t have a turn-off switch and she had some self-sabotaging characteristics.  She described that hamster wheel of parenthood, work, and fun.  Alcohol helped her numb.    Breaking her hip at a bike race became a turning point.  She didn’t stop drinking but had to learn to walk again and the recovery took a year.  Rocio was sober curious and did several dry January’s.  During a family vacation, she had some great insights about the role alcohol played in her family including some questions from her son.  About six months into sobriety, she started to get real clarity on her relationships and how she thinks.  Connection, accountability, quit lit, boundaries and self-care were great tools.  Her marriage is amazing, and she has great support.    Odette’s Summary Odette reminds us to protect our energy during the holiday season.  Give yourself permission to take care of you.    Sponsor: Exact Nature exactnature.com  Code:  RE20   Holiday 2021 AF Survival Guide   Stock up on your favorite AF beverages or another type of treat. Begin a new healthy practice that you enjoy. Develop a detailed craving game plan. FOMO to JOMO - Pick an upcoming event and sit it out. Select a Holiday Theme Song. Pick your Thanksgiving beverage of choice and enjoy One minute of intense mindfulness Sticky Note - Write a reminder, affirmation, or goal on a sticky note and place it somewhere where you’ll see it each day Have a fun escape plan Offer to do the dishes Study your why’s Rest Uno reverse card Remind yourself you are safe   Upcoming events, retreats, and courses: You can find more information about our events   Resources Connect with Cafe RE - Use the promo code OPPORTUNITY to waive the set-up fee. Recovery Elevator YouTube - Subscribe here! Sobriety Tracker iTunes   
12/6/202159 minutes, 14 seconds
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RE 354: Holiday Survival Kit

Episode 354   Today we have Cordell.  He is 38, from North Dakota, and took his last drink on December 6, 2017.   Highlights from Odette   Odette has some helpful hints to contribute to Paul’s Holiday Survival Guide.  Odette suggests 1) have a fun escape plan, 2) offer to do the dishes, 3) dig into your arsenal of why’s.   Beyond tips, Odette suggests really focusing on effective communications.  Set expectations in advance, particularly with those closest to you so they understand you are committed to staying sober, even if it means leaving early.  You don’t have to burn the ships either, you can reference plans early the next day.  Odette says having a puppy is a great reason to leave a party early.    Exact Nature exactnature.com Code:  RE20   [6:05] Cordell took his last drink December 6, 2017.  He is 38 and has a wife and 3 kids.  He spends lots of time chasing kids and he works in a coal mine.  Sobriety is the best choice he ever made.   Cordell was raised in a Christian family with lots of family gatherings in a small town with lots of alcohol.  Taking a sip of his parents’ drink was common.  In high school, alcohol was a given, part of the norm.  Cordell didn’t drink to have fun; he drank to get wasted.  He started working as a welder and drinking was part of the routine.   At 22 he decided he needed help.  He smoked pot and took other drugs, and it had a spiraling effect.  He went to a 30-day Intensive Outpatient program.  He was sober for almost a year and decided he had it under control.  He would drink 1-2 beers at a party and “drink responsibly”.    At 24, his girlfriend was pregnant.  He wasn’t ready to be a father and his drinking really took off.   He lost his job, his friends, his car and was at rock bottom.  He met his son for the first time when he was 3 months old.  Meeting his son encouraged him to clean up his act a bit.  He quit taking drugs but continued to drink.  He moved in with his girlfriend, got a job and maintained as a functioning alcoholic.  His daughter was born two years later.  Almost immediately after his daughter was born, his girlfriend was pregnant again.      Cordell was often put in jail for fighting with his girlfriend.  He eventually got a job at the coal mine.  He and his girlfriend got married.  His drinking slowed, but extra income became an opportunity to start taking drugs again.  He was fired after a random drug screen.  His drinking and using escalated and his wife kicked him out.  He moved in with a buddy who was also drinking and drugging.    Ultimately, he went to rehab.  The withdrawal was hell, but he found new tools to have fun, and started to surround himself with healthy people.  Now he coaches wrestling, volleyball and is actively engaged with his kids.  He talks to his sponsor daily and he has learned how to apologize.    Kris’s Summary Kris reminds us our path isn’t linear.  He speaks about binging on feelings and emotions.  He is physically and emotionally exhausted.  Kris encourages us to shift our thinking an reframe recovery as a gift.  We learn how to feel and sit with our feelings, know they aren’t permanent and move forward.  Stick with it!   Sponsor: Exact Nature exactnature.com  Code:  RE20   Holiday 2021 AF Survival Guide   Stock up on your favorite AF beverages or another type of treat. Begin a new healthy practice that you enjoy. Develop a detailed craving game plan. FOMO to JOMO - Pick an upcoming event and sit it out. Select a Holiday Theme Song. Pick your Thanksgiving beverage of choice and enjoy One minute of intense MINDFULNESS Sticky Note - Write a reminder, affirmation, or goal on a sticky note and place it somewhere where you’ll see it each day Have a fun escape plan Offer to do the dishes Study your why’s   Upcoming events, retreats, and courses: You can find more information about our events   Resources Connect with Cafe RE - Use the promo code OPPORTUNITY to waive the set-up fee. Recovery Elevator YouTube - Subscribe here! Sobriety Tracker iTunes   
11/29/20211 hour, 4 minutes, 45 seconds
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RE 353: It's a Week to be Thankful

Episode 353 – It’s a Week to be Thankful   Today we have Jan.  She is from Connecticut and took her last drink on February 1, 2021.   Restore – intensive on-online dry January 15 session course. Registration opens 12/1/21. Costa Rica starts January 15. Email [email protected] to get on waiting list. AF Sober Ukulele (8 week) course starts 2/5/2022. Registration opens January 7th. Denver Retreat (3/31 – 4/2) Register: https://www.recoveryelevator.com/denver/   Café RE donated $15,094.73 to organizations and non-profits geared towards helping those affected by addiction.   Highlights from Paul   Paul is encouraging listeners to develop a game plan for the holidays.  Last week he encouraged us to: 1) create a detailed craving plan, 2) turn FOMO into JOMO by saying no and, 3) pick a holiday theme song.   Paul shares that when we make the decision to not drink, an unbelievable amount of energy is released. This is less about staying away from alcohol and more about creating a life that doesn’t require alcohol. When we’re drinking there is no space mentally for this new life.   This week Paul encourages us to:  1) select a Thanksgiving AF beverage, 2) schedule one minute of intense mindfulness and, 3) sticky note – write a reminder, goal or affirmation and put it somewhere you can see it.      Remember what the holiday is all about, being grateful for all the gifts we have including the adversity that inspired us to go alcohol free.  Paul’s pep talks can be found here:  https://www.recoveryelevator.com/meditations/   Exact Nature exactnature.com Code:  RE20   [14:34] Jan took her last drink 2/1/2021.  She is 71 years old and has a son.  She is a massage therapist, health coach, dog sitter and loves hiking, audiobooks, and photography.   Jan started drinking went she went to school overseas in Italy.  It was part of the culture. She drank and experimented with drugs through college.  She had serious health consequences because of her drinking.  She worked at several resorts and met her husband who loved to drink.    Jan went to AA and stayed sober for four years.  She returned to drinking for twenty years.   She struggled with mental health issues, anxiety, and panic attacks.   She spent a lot of time in psychiatric hospitals and was encouraged not to drink.  Jan went to 4 or 5 different treatment centers.  The tipping point came when her son pushed her to quit.  Jan pretended to take Antabuse in front of her son and maintaining the facade was exhausting.  A friend of her son’s recommended Café RE; the connection she found within Café RE was very helpful.    Jan loves “We are the Luckiest” by Laura McKowen and recalls hearing, “find a room that works and stick with it,” and that resonated for her.  She steers clear of situations where people are drinking alcohol.  The obsession has lifted.    Odette’s Summary Odette reflects on Café Re’s recent regionals event.  The theme was acceptance.  Odette reads a beautiful passage from Melody Beattie about acceptance.  https://melodybeattie.com/acceptance-2/      Sponsor: Exact Nature exactnature.com  Code:  RE20   Holiday 2021 AF Strategy Guide   Stock up on your favorite AF beverages or another type of treat. Begin a new healthy practice that you enjoy. Develop a detailed craving game plan. FOMO to JOMO - Pick an upcoming event and sit it out. Select a Holiday Theme Song. Pick your Thanksgiving beverage of choice and enjoy One minute of intense MINDFULNESS Sticky Note - Write a reminder, affirmation, or goal on a sticky note and place it somewhere where you’ll see it each day   Upcoming events, retreats, and courses: You can find more information about our events   Resources Connect with Cafe RE - Use the promo code OPPORTUNITY to waive the set-up fee. Recovery Elevator YouTube - Subscribe here! Sobriety Tracker iTunes   
11/22/202157 minutes, 33 seconds
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RE 352: Allow the Deeper You To Emerge

Episode 352 – Allow the deeper you to emerge   Today we have Kendall.  He is 30, from Texas, and took his last drink on March 13, 2021.   Paul shares some personal insights on the growth of Recovery Elevator.   Highlights from Paul   Paul resumes the discussion about having a game plan for the holidays.  He reminds us that alcohol can have catastrophic effects.   A recap from last week:  1) Accountability, 2) Stock up on AF beverages, 3) Begin a new healthy practice that you enjoy.  Paul introduces three additional concepts: 1) Develop a cravings plan and get specific, 2) JOMO – find something this holiday season to say “no” to and savor the new boundary, 3) Pick your holiday theme song.    When you begin the journey in a life without alcohol, an incredible thing begins to take place.  You get to experience a transformation that allows the deeper you to emerge.  You get to know yourself, your true and authentic self, your needs, wants, desires and more. Paul encourages us to listen to the inner voice and the guidance it provides to tell us what we need, when we need it and how to get it.  Our inner voice will help us to fully live a human life with all its ups and downs.  When we are true to our authentic selves, we get to embrace the full palette of human emotions, we learn to stand up for ourselves and learn to create a life that no longer involves alcohol.    Listen to the pep talk segment  here:  https://www.recoveryelevator.com/meditations/    Exact Nature exactnature.com  Code:  RE20   [10:11] Kendall took his last drink 3/13/2021.  He is 30 years old and has a young daughter and enjoys skate boarding.  Kendall started drinking at age 14.  He smoked, drank, and hung out with his friends.  He didn’t drink frequently, but every time he did, he got very drunk.    Kendall’s sober journey began NYE 2019 when he was going through his divorce.  He didn’t want to be “that guy” who drowned himself in alcohol.  He thought he was healed at 50 days.  He was out of control.  His drinking escalated dramatically.   He would quit for a day, but he was having fun.  At some point he reflected on his behavior.  His ex-wife sent him pictures of empty bottles she found in the house.  Kendall realized he was resentful at his wife for not letting him drink the way he wanted to.  Kendall hid his drinking.  He used it as an outlet to escape his depression.    Odette found Kendall through his participation in the Café RE roll call.  She watched him start to count days.  In April 2020, Kendall found RE.  He was in lockdown and still drinking daily.  Kendall connected with Paul’s energy on the RE podcast.  He tricked himself through several day ones and eventually he hit a day 3, then a day 7, then a day 27.  He used the term, “field research” as a pass to drink.  Publicly posting on his social media helped him gain accountability and receive love.   Kendall’s skating friends are incredibly supportive of his sobriety.  They have come to his house when he was having cravings.    Now Kendall is more emotionally aware.  Kendall’s cravings are nostalgia cravings.  His slip-ups have created a strong foundation for him to stay sober.  Dating is hard because everybody wants to meet for a drink.  He was falling apart one day, and he got support from his community and they helped him through.   Odette’s Summary If you are on the struggle bus right now, hold on!  Bad days and low emotions are part of the journey.  Just when you are completely overwhelmed and spiraling, you will have a normal day.   Emotions do level out and the intensity dissipates.  Hold on!  Know that you will turn a corner soon.  Reach out for help.  Slow and steady wins the race.   Sponsor: Exact Nature exactnature.com  Code:  RE20   Upcoming events, retreats, and courses: You can find more information about our events Emo   Resources Connect with Cafe RE - Use the promo code OPPORTUNITY to waive the set-up fee. Recovery Elevator YouTube - Subscribe here! Sobriety Tracker iTunes   
11/15/202152 minutes, 16 seconds
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RE 351: Strength and Courage

Episode 351 – Strength and Courage   Today we have Tom.  He is 47, from Bozeman, MT, and took his last drink on September 24, 2019.   Café RE’s annual on-line conference called Regionals starts Friday 11/12-13/2021.  This is a Café RE members’ only free event.  This will include yoga, sound healing, meditations, and breakout rooms.  Go to: www.recoveryelevator.com promo code: opportunity for more info.   Highlights from Paul   Paul shares some helpful hints from listeners to develop a game plan for the holidays.   There are 54 days left in 2021 and Paul is encouraging you to start now with your plan to ditch the booze.    1)  Accountability – get an accountability partner.  Café RE members’ email: [email protected] with your name, age, location, male or female, and date of last drink and KMac will get you paired.  If you are going somewhere for a holiday gathering, let the host know you won’t be drinking and ask them not to offer you any alcohol. 2) Stock up and treat yourself to AF beverages (+chocolate +ice cream). 3) Begin a new healthy practice that you enjoy, so your focus isn’t on what you are giving up, but on doing more of something you enjoy.   Paul reminds us to practice new habits including listening to music when you get triggered. Listen to some of Paul’s favorites here:  https://www.recoveryelevator.com/meditations/   If you find yourself overwhelmed with getting or staying sober, remind yourself that up until this moment, everything has worked out just fine. You don’t have to have it all figured out. Nobody does. Your job is to keep moving forward and making progress. But not aimlessly. When we remove alcohol, we also remove the veil of illusion. At first this is lonely and scary. This allows us to be more authentic. Give this life reboot some time. Trust me. Trust yourself.   Exact Nature exactnature.com  Code:  RE20   [11:52] Tom took his last drink on September 24, 2019.  He is 47, a surgical nurse and is married with two kids.  He loves fly fishing, snowboarding, running, live music, hiking cooking, playing guitar and yo yo’s.   Tom came from a long history of drinkers. Tom was a victim of sexual assault and bullying.  He didn’t drink regularly until late high school/early college.  He described never feeling comfortable in his own skin.  Drinking helped him overcome that discomfort.  Tom’s drinking ramped up in college.  He also smoked pot and was never a normal drinker.    At age 30, Tom made a career change and went to nursing school with the goal of being a family man.  He became a surgical nurse and has been in the field ever since.  After moving to Bozeman, the effects of years of drinking started to take their toll.  He drank to black out, drank and drove and hid his drinking.  He quit once on his own for two months, then drank for another five years.  After a difficult conversation with his wife, he quit drinking the next day.    Tom described living a double life because his behavior at work and at home were completely different.    Tom leveraged AA to help him quit drinking for good.  He went to meetings daily, got a sponsor, embraced spirituality, worked the steps, and did what he was told.    Tom can be himself now.  He loves his job; has become a leader and he is no longer depressed.  His marriage and his relationship with his children is better.  He is making new friends and repairing old relationships.    Odette’s Summary Odette discusses moving toward your values to give you a new framework to evaluate your life and your sobriety.   Sponsor: Exact Nature exactnature.com  Code:  RE20   Upcoming events, retreats, and courses: You can find more information about our events   Resources Connect with Cafe RE - Use the promo code OPPORTUNITY to waive the set-up fee. Recovery Elevator YouTube - Subscribe here! Sobriety Tracker iTunes   
11/8/202146 minutes, 1 second
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RE 350: What's up Holidays

Episode 350 – What’s up holidays?   Today we have Blazik.  He is 28, from Kansas, and took his last drink on July 25,2021.   Café RE’s annual on-line conference called Regionals starts 11/12-13/2021.  This is a Café RE members’ only free event.  This will include yoga, sound healing, meditations, and breakout rooms.  Go to  www. Recoveryelevator.com promo code: opportunity for more info.   Café RE just made a $5149 donation to the McShin Foundation.  10% of all Café RE monthly memberships go towards a nonprofit geared towards helping those affected by addiction. The McShin Foundation  helps those struggling with addiction get access to detox facilities, sober living, transitional recovery houses and more. https://mcshin.org/   Highlights from Paul   Paul addresses the gauntlet of challenges coming up in the next sixty days, specifically Thanksgiving, Christmas, and New Year’s.  The holidays often spike anxiety.  Paul suggests it’s time to create a game plan to enjoy your first of many AF holidays.    Challenges create opportunities.  There is an opportunity to rewrite the script and create a new norm for the holidays.    There are opportunities for self-love, self-reflection, self-care and putting the self aside.  There are also opportunities for connection.  Building deeper human connections requires us to exercise our vulnerability muscles.  This is an opportunity to be less reactive, go with the flow and practice mindfulness.  It is also a great time to be of service and give without expecting anything in return.  It is an opportunity to set boundaries with yourself, your loved ones, and people in the supermarket.  There is also an opportunity of the unknown, a time of repose and perhaps a chance to address loneliness.   Paul believes you can do this.  It starts with how you view it.  Simply reframing challenges to opportunities is a great start.  Lean in on this podcast, Café RE or whatever it takes so you do not go through this alone.  Willpower is not enough to stay sober.  Paul will provide more tools to help you build a game plan. This year is your opportunity to enjoy sober holidays.    Exact Nature exactnature.com  Code:  RE20   [9:47] Blazik took his last drink on July 25, 2021.  He is 28, single and has his own podcast.  He makes videos, music and is learning the guitar.  He spends a lot of time burning energy with his dog so he can enjoy down time.    Blazik experienced anxiety through his childhood.  He was high performing as an athlete and homecoming king.  He acted like the person he wanted to be but was filled with anxiety.  He drank to overcome anxiety and drinking made the feeling go away temporarily.  Alcohol made him feel and act the way he wanted to.  From age 17-27 he drank daily.    The effects of alcohol began to take their toll on him physically.   He woke up regularly at 2-3AM with heart palpitations or anxiety attacks.  He couldn’t overcome the fatigue without drinking again. He listened to several episodes of the RE podcast and decided to explore not drinking.  He went 38 days on his first attempt to get sober.  He drank again and found himself drinking when he didn’t want to, but he had to feel like himself.  He loved the instant fix.   Blazik says that concerts, vibing and dancing are still fun AF, and you can remember the event!  He is really enjoying learning to be present.  He loves looking and stars and listening to music.  He has learned that he doesn’t need alcohol to be creative or to make music.    Kris’s Summary   Kris talks about control and rejection.  If he lives for the approval of others, he will die from their rejection, and exhausted from the chase.  He is working on being authentically himself and that he is enough.    Sponsor: Exact Nature exactnature.com  Code:  RE20   Upcoming events, retreats, and courses: You can find more information about our events   Resources Connect with Cafe RE - Use the promo code OPPORTUNITY to waive the set-up fee. Recovery Elevator YouTube - Subscribe here! Sobriety Tracker iTunes   
11/1/202157 minutes, 16 seconds
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RE 349: The Inner Voice

Episode 349 – The Inner Voice.   Today we have Tara.  She is 37, from Canada, and took her last drink on February 20, 2019.   Café RE’s annual on-line conference called Regionals starts 11/12-13/2021.  This is a Café Re members only free event. This will include yoga, sound healing, meditation, and break outs rooms.  Go to:  www.recoveryelevator.com promo code: opportunity.   Highlights from Paul   Paul talks about his inner voice and how it failed him as he was trying to stack days in early sobriety.  Inner narration can tell you in your own voice that it is okay to drink.  It’s a subconscious voice.  Paul advises that the first step is to be aware of the voice.  Then you need to create distance between that voice and the first drink.  Inner narration isn’t you, it’s a bundle of thoughts.  Over time, you can let the space build between the thought and the drink so you can change your thinking.  Gaze at the stars, look up and take a breath.    Exact Nature exactnature.com  Code:  RE20   [10:37] Odette welcomes Tara   Tara took her last drink February 20, 2019.  She lives in Montreal and has learned to enjoy life – everything she does is for fun.  She is a voice actress and podcaster.   Tara described her relationship with alcohol as a product of self-loathing and rejecting herself.  She took her first drink at 12. She was well adjusted and had her needs met at the time.  She didn’t drink again until 15 when she was unhappy, depressed and feeling alienated.  Alcohol filled a need to replace herself.  A major shift happened when she was 18 and she took her drinking to another level – drinking in the morning and drinking alone.  Alcohol became her primary relationship until she got sober.  Alcohol was linked with everything she did.  She had a lot of self-pity and thought the world was against her.  She felt like she belonged at the bottom.  Pain felt normal, like home.    Tara went to 12 different inpatient rehabs.  She would start to feel better and didn’t know how to deal with feeling better.  Learning to care for herself emotionally was a big challenge.  Even some basic tasks were a challenge.  She escaped through relationships with men or would obsess about her looks to avoid facing herself.    She took pride in not being a good person.  She became a villain in her own story.  She put her family and friends through a lot.  She relapsed frequently and made false promises to herself and other people.  She is amazed her family is still supporting her recovery.  During her last stay in rehab, she was there for 12 days and had to leave because she had been so many times.  Post rehab she went through the motions and went to meetings, got a sponsor, and did the things she was told to do without running the show.   Her parents breathalyzed her which helped her become accountable.    Early recovery was a challenge.  Tara felt like a fraud and didn’t have confidence in her own ability not to relapse.  Her brain was in a constant frenzy, and she had a partner who was struggling with addiction.  She felt privileged to be able to do full time recovery for several months.   She has learned to have a sense of humor about cravings or crazy thoughts.   She focuses now on how she shows up in the world.  She has expanded her spiritual practice and is learning to be consistent.  Tara has learned to enjoy her own company.  Her goal is to show up in her life in a way she can be proud of every day.   Odette’s Summary What does bravery mean to you?  You can choose to ride or not ride a roller-coaster. The brave choice is the one that rings true to you; the choice that aligns with your values, inner knowing and truth.  Choosing to live an alcohol-free life is a huge act of bravery.  Sobriety can be lonely, but bravery means standing up for yourself and advocating yourself, even when peers may pressure you to do otherwise.    Sponsor: Exact Nature exactnature.com  Code:  RE20   Upcoming events, retreats, and courses: You can find more information about our events   Resources Connect with Cafe RE - Use the promo code OPPORTUNITY to waive the set-up fee. Recovery Elevator YouTube - Subscribe here! Sobriety Tracker iTunes   
10/25/202157 minutes, 10 seconds
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RE 348: We Don't Plug In

Episode 348 – We don’t plug in.   Today we have Kerry.  She is 31, from Philadelphia, and took her last drink on January 2,2021.   Recovery Elevator is going to be Denver Colorado at the Hilton Garden inn at Union Station.  New Dates: March 31 – April 2.   Register: https://www.recoveryelevator.com/denver/   Paul will be teaching a ukulele 101 course in February 2022.  https://recoveryelevator.com/events   Highlights from Paul   Humans don’t plug in like a phone with a charger, however we do recharge.  In the 21st century we are pulled in many different directions.  Addictions are adaptive behaviors that manifest in unhealthy, stressful environments, especially when we are running on empty.   Paul offers some practical ways for us to recharge including go barefoot on the earth/grass, eat live foods 2x a day, eat less frequently, sleep more, nap, read a good book, socialize with other sober people, get out in nature, do something that brings you joy, and JOMO (joy of missing out) – skip those stressful events.  Recharging takes practice.  Remind yourself that it is a gift you are giving yourself.   Exact Nature exactnature.com  Code:  RE20   [11:30] Odette welcomes Kerry   Kerry took her last drink January 2, 2021.  She is a registered dietician, is married and has two cats.  Her side hustle includes several books and mocktails.  See: https://thesoberdietitians.com/  Instagram:thesoberdieticians   Kerry didn’t start drinking until college.   She did drink wine.   She was given an opportunity to write a mocktail book with her friend, Diana for pregnant women.  As with many, her drinking increased in 2020.  She was drinking daily.   Kerry read a lot  about the rise of alcohol use during the pandemic.  She and her friend, Diana were writing their 2nd book and began linking alcohol and health.  Kerry started looking at her own relationship with alcohol.  She completed a 30-day AF challenge.  She returned to drinking but drank mindfully.  She and Diana completed another 30-day challenge together.  They explored several AF options.  Diana quit drinking entirely and Kerry’s drinking diminished.  Kerry celebrated a friend’s engagement with champagne and that was her last drink.  She learned so much about alcohol as an author and realized she didn’t need alcohol anymore.    Kerry didn’t love the feeling that came with drinking alcohol.  She realized that she couldn’t accomplish as much when she was hungover.  She also realized how prevalent alcohol is on TV or in movies.  We normalize problematic drinking.   She and her husband have enjoyed taking the sober curious journey together.  She misses red wine and pumpkin beer and hasn’t found a great AF alternative to either yet.   She is tempted to return to drinking, but her current plan is to stay AF.  She served AF options including a signature mocktail at her wedding.    Kerry has become aware that ethanol is a carcinogen and has become more mindful about the ramifications of drinking while pregnant.  She is concerned that we promote red wine as being heart healthy when we can’t measure how much of the antioxidants enter the body.  She has made great connections with the sober and sober curious people on social media.   Odette’s Summary Odette has been sober for nearly three years.  She recognizes she is imposing a fair number of expectations on herself specific to what her recovery should look like.  She encourages us not to beat ourselves up.  Use the tools that are working for you.   Sponsor: Exact Nature exactnature.com  Code:  RE20   Upcoming events, retreats, and courses: You can find more information about our events   Resources Connect with Cafe RE - Use the promo code OPPORTUNITY to waive the set-up fee. Recovery Elevator YouTube - Subscribe here! Sobriety Tracker iTunes   
10/18/202159 minutes, 50 seconds
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RE 347: Can You Quit Drinking in Unhealthy Environments?

Episode 347 – Can you heal in the same environment you became sick?   Today we have Frank.  He is 42, from Omaha, and took his last drink on May 22,2021.   Recovery Elevator is going to be Denver Colorado at the Hilton Garden inn at Union Station April 14th- 17th.  Registration goes live this Friday, October 15th. https://www.recoveryelevator.com/denver/   Highlights from Paul Can you heal in the same environment you became sick in?  Yes, but you can’t use the same consciousness or thinking that got you into the mess in the first place.  There is a line that goes, when you quit drinking you don’t have to change much, you have to change everything.  The key is, not all at once.  Paul describes three critical changes:  awareness, boundaries and staying in the body (don’t disassociate).    You are gaining strength.  Adversity makes you stronger.  You are healing and as you heal, those around you will heal as well.   Exact Nature exactnature.com  Code:  RE20   [10:38] Odette welcomes Frank   Frank to his last drink May 22, 2021.  He is married with two children, and he works in medical staffing.  He is a foodie, loves sports and playing guitar.   Frank started drinking in high school.  It was a rite of passage at the time.  He never had an off switch and could always outdrink everyone else.  His tolerance increased.   In his mid 30’s he noticed the hangovers getting worse and he was eating shame meals.  By his 40’s the hangovers lasted two days and it wasn’t fun.   Frank was never a violent drunk. He was a raging jerk during recovery because he felt so terrible.  His hangovers became progressively worse.  He could barely get water down.  Frank was good at covering up his drinking.  He was sober for 30 days a few years ago and celebrated with a drink.  His drinking progressed from there.     Frank’s turning point came during his anniversary dinner when his withdrawal symptoms were so intense, he was shaking, sweating, felt faint and nauseous.   He knew something had to change; he wrote a four-page letter to his wife, spoke with his counselor, and found Recovery Elevator.    His Dad and his brother were good sources during early recovery as they are both in recovery.  Listening to podcasts and playing the tape forward helped.   Managing through sober “firsts” this year (college football, golf, concerts, 3-day weekends) has been a win.    A self-described weekend warrior, Frank enjoyed the sensation of alcohol, but never drank to escape anything; he just wanted to fit in.  He used koozie cup holders to avoid questions from his drinking buddies.   He is now open about his recovery and his friends and family check in regularly and have let him know how proud they are of him.  He now observes others drinking to excess and is relieved he doesn’t have to do that anymore.    Frank said his relationships are all positive.  He loves waking up rested and he appreciates the memories he is creating with his kids.  Frank and his wife are doing better.    Odette’s Summary   Odette reminds us, “we are doing this”.  Alcohol works until it doesn’t.  It dims the good and the bad.  Learning to stay present during uncomfortable moments give us an opportunity to grow.    Sponsor: Exact Nature exactnature.com  Code:  RE20   Upcoming events, retreats, and courses: You can find more information about our events   Resources Connect with Cafe RE - Use the promo code OPPORTUNITY to waive the set-up fee. Recovery Elevator YouTube - Subscribe here! Sobriety Tracker iTunes   
10/11/202153 minutes, 20 seconds
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RE 346: There is No Manual

Episode 346 – There is no manual   Today we have Kathryn.  She us 58, from North Dakota, and took her last drink on February 19, 2002.   Highlights from Odette There is no manual for recovery. We have tools, guidance, but no guaranteed formula for success. Learning to manage that uncertainty can be challenging, but it's normal.   Be gentle with yourself and others.   Exact Nature exactnature.com  Code:  RE20   [07:18] Kris welcomes Kathryn Burgum, the First Lady of North Dakota.  Kathryn has over 19 years of sobriety.    Kathryn’s first drink was at age 8.  There was lots of alcohol in her household and her parents were regular drinkers.    In high school, Kathryn struggled with anxiety and depression;  drinking was her nirvana because it gave her some relief. She had her first blackout in high school, and they continued for twenty years.    Kathryn experienced many consequences due to her drinking; the loss of self-respect was at the top of her list.  Getting a DUI pushed her to begin recovery.    Kathryn made several deals with herself about regulating her drinking. She never kept those promises, because if she thought about drinking, she did.   The only choice she had was to start drinking ….  In the end, she lost the choice about drinking.   As Kathryn’s drinking progressed, she was hung over every day.  She was unable to control her drinking.  When asked if she should be driving, she would respond that she was fine, because she didn’t want people to think she had a problem with alcohol.    Kathryn worked in HR and drug tested employees.  When she got a DUI, it was published in the local newspaper.  Someone blew it up and posted it at work.  The shame kept her from admitting her problem.  She didn’t want to ask for help because she was concerned about what others would think.     Kathryn recognized she was suicidal almost every time she drank; she had undiagnosed depression.   As a result of her DUI, she had to undergo a mandatory evaluation and went to outpatient treatment that was unsuccessful.  She went to Mayo Clinic for ten days and stayed sober for two years.  Over a period of 8 years, she quit and relapsed several times.    Kathryn’s turning point came when she was walking and asked, “Is there anybody out there?  If there is, I need help.”  She has been sober ever since.  Slowly recovery became her life.  She found a community, began feeling better, and engaged a recovery coach.  She credits recovery with saving her life.    Kathryn now takes medication for her depression, reads meditations daily and connects with her God.    When her husband, Gov. Doug Burgum, announced that he wanted to run for governor, she had some concerns. They had candid conversations about boundaries during the campaign.    Kathryn made a conscious decision to talk about her recovery because of the opioid crisis and it became a platform she and her husband share.  Recovery Reinvented is an annual free conference.   Every week Kathryn has an opportunity to help someone who is struggling with addiction.  Helping others helps her stay sober.  After 8 years of relapse, she was losing hope.  Through faith she knows there is always hope for sobriety and recovery.    Recovery Reinvented 2021 is on 10/25/21.  Register to attend in person or online.  www.recovery reinvented.com.     Kris’s Summary What could your voice do?  We don’t know the impact that comes with sharing our experience.  I’m over the stigma; I am here to grow.   First Lady Kathryn Burgum can be found: Facebook (@FirstLadyND & @RecoveryND), Twitter (@FirstLadyND & @Recovery_ND), and Instagram (@firstladynd). Prior Recovery Reinvented speakers, award recipients, and segments can be found at  www.youtube.com/recoveryreinvented.   Sponsor: Exact Nature exactnature.com  Code:  RE20 Upcoming events, retreats, and courses: You can find more information about our events Resources Connect with Cafe RE - Use the promo code OPPORTUNITY to waive the set-up fee. Recovery Elevator YouTube - Subscribe here! Sobriety Tracker iTunes 
10/4/202157 minutes, 29 seconds
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RE 345: The Neuroscience of Addiction Part II

Episode 345– The Neuroscience of Addiction Part II   Today we have Stacy Jo, she is 34 years old, from Oregon and took her last drink on March 6, 2020.      Highlights from Paul   Paul wants to know your interest in a alcohol-free Ukulele 101 course.  If you are interested please email [email protected].   Paul provides part 2 of highlights of a podcast with Rich Roll speaking with Dr. Anna Lembke. Rich Roll Podcast: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jziP0CEgvOw.    Dr. Lembke talks about how it’s a known fact that when we are in our addiction, we can’t accurately see the consequences or what’s taking place. With abstinence, we can look back and say, OH MY   The interview focuses a lot on dopamine and why addiction has been on the rise for 30 years.   Being smart or highly educated doesn’t make you immune to addiction, in fact, it might even backfire because you think you know everything.  More than 1/2 the world's deaths, under the age of 50, are attributable to addiction. Rates of alcoholism have gone up 50% for those aged 65 and up from the late 90’s to today and have gone up 80% in women. Traditionally the rates for alcoholics were 5:1 for men to women. With Millennials, it’s now 1:1. There are more burdens on women now than ever.   Dr. Lemke recommends a 30 day dopamine fast. But a huge warning of withdrawals for alcohol and benzodiazepines. How to do this? Well, we’ve got 345 episodes now on the HOW, but the trick is to go into the pain. Head into the storm (episode 341) and Forgive yourself.   Exact Nature exactnature.com  Code:  RE20   [12:41] Stacy Jo took her last drink on March 6, 2020.  She lives in Eugene, OR. with her partner of 15 years.  Her primary hobby is anything that has to do with yarn.  She has worked in the restaurant industry for 20 years until the pandemic hit, she recently was just at the University of Oregon.    Around the age of 20, after a breakup and miscarriage, Stacy Jo feels there was a switch in her drinking.  That was the same time her service industry career normalized and it all went hand in hand.   In 2018 Stacy Jo started some serious attempts to quit drinking but it wasn’t until the beginning of the pandemic in 2020 that she was able to get good footing.    Stacy Jo joined Café RE when she was around 4 months sober and says she did it as a reward for herself.    She says her partner hated her drinking, and that it became a pretty big division between the two of them.  Stacy Jo also got a Driving While Ability Impaired (right below a DUI) when she was 28.    She feels like she slept the 1st three months of sobriety.  She treated herself like a toddler and allowed herself to sleep and snack.    Stacy Jo is grateful for the pandemic and her restaurant shutting down.  It allowed her to get away from the normalcy that is part of the service industry and to have the space to get on solid ground.    She does not get cravings any longer, but says she is not so cocky to say that she won’t again.       Odette’s Summary   Odette reminds us that change starts with us.  Recovery is our responsibility.    Remember you are not alone and together is always better.    Sponsor: Exact Nature exactnature.com  Code:  RE20 Upcoming events, retreats, and courses: You can find more information about our events Resources Connect with Cafe RE - Use the promo code OPPORTUNITY to waive the set-up fee. Recovery Elevator YouTube - Subscribe here! Sobriety Tracker iTunes   
9/27/202151 minutes, 57 seconds
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RE 344: The Neuroscience of Addiction

Episode 344– The Neuroscience of Addiction   Today we have Bill.  He is 61, from Alabama, and took his last drink on April 29, 2021.   Events. https://www.recoveryelevator.com/events/   Ditch the Booze starts 9/21 at 8 PM EST.   Highlights from Paul   Paul provides part one of highlights of a podcast with Rich Roll speaking with Dr. Anna Lembke. Rich Roll Podcast: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jziP0CEgvOw.    “Persons with severe addictions are among those contemporary prophets that we ignore to our own demise for they show us who we truly are.” Dr. Lembke says that drinking is not a choice but seeking help for an addiction is a choice.    The interview focuses a lot on dopamine and why addiction has been on the rise for 30 years.  American society and economy are focused on an insatiable pursuit of pleasure.  Today’s marketers target the dopamine system; thus, we all struggle to find homeostasis.  Addiction can show up as alcohol, social media, food, etc.  Addiction is a low-grade discomfort we all have as humans.  She believes we are all wired to seek pleasure and avoid pain, which works in an environment of scarcity, not our current state of abundance.    Paul reminds us we can’t study or think our way out of addiction.  Community is key!   Exact Nature exactnature.com  Code:  RE20   [11:43] Bill took his last drink on April 29, 2021.  He enjoys hiking, movies, sports, windsurfing, reading, and spending time with family and friends.       Bill started drinking as a teenager.  He knew at spring break 30 years ago that he was a problem drinker.  He drank and got buzzed every five years but wasn’t addicted.  Thirty years later, Bill’s wife left, and he started drinking liqueur in the evening.  He slowly became addicted, and he drank every night.    When Bill hit rock bottom, he found himself broke, living in an extended stay hotel.  He scraped the floor of his room and his car to get enough money to buy a few shots.    In 2020, he joined Recovery Elevator and was a lurker until 2021.   Bill still has cravings and practices “doing 30 things” to keep him from drinking.  If the cravings continue, he goes to bed.  Loneliness is Bill’s biggest trigger.  Ice cream and cookies also get him through.   Bill said everything got better when he stopped drinking. He is back in the gym and loves waking up without a hangover. His medications work better.  The community of Café RE is crucial to Bill, and he is led and inspired by others in RE.  He loves being of service and is grateful to the suggestions of others that helped him when he wanted to drink.   Bill credits Tim Grover’s books, Relentless and Winning, with changing his mindset.  His takeaway was getting ‘obsessed’ with sobriety.  Meditation helps his anxiety and cravings.   A friend of Bill’s told him his greatest flaw was that he didn’t like himself.  He described how the “I suck” mentality brought him down.   Bill made considerable strides in self-love since he quit drinking. He listens to a podcast called Unbeatable Mind and has learned to say “I love you” to himself daily, over and over.  Bill believes having an accountability partner is critical to his success.    Odette’s Summary Odette shared about a Café RE member who shared at the Bozeman retreat.  The person said, ‘for a long time, I thought I didn’t matter, that my existence didn’t matter.  I recognize that I matter, I belong, and I can make an impact.’    Odette reminds us, we all matter.  We help each other become better and to heal.  We remind each other of our value.  The power of community is vital because it is rooted in love and non-judgment and a firm belief that we are whole.  We are whole, even when we stumble.    Sponsor: Exact Nature exactnature.com  Code:  RE20 Upcoming events, retreats, and courses: You can find more information about our events Resources Connect with Cafe RE - Use the promo code OPPORTUNITY to waive the set-up fee. Recovery Elevator YouTube - Subscribe here! Sobriety Tracker iTunes   
9/20/202149 minutes
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RE 343: A Brief History of Alcoholism and Treatment

Episode 343 – A Brief History of Alcoholism and Treatment   Today we have Charlie.  He is 35, from Missouri and took his last drink on July 7, 2020.   Events. https://www.recoveryelevator.com/events/   Ditch the Booze 9/21 ; Regionals 11/12-14; Costa Rica (1/15-23).  https://www.recoveryelevator.com/costarica/   Highlights from Paul   Addiction is a modern phenomenon.  Alcohol has been around for centuries.  Early “treatment” of alcoholics included being jailed, tortured, and often executed for being possessed by demons.  As treatment has evolved, we are moving toward FLOW states.  Our mental energies are redirected from addiction toward creating healthier neural connections.  In the 1930’s, alcoholism was classified as a fatal medical condition.  In 1935 Bill W co-founded AA.  In 1949 the Hazelden Foundation was born, thus creating our modern-day rehab and treatment structures. https://www.cornerstoneofrecovery.com/a-history-of-addiction-and-addiction-treatment/   Fortunately, people are recovering from alcoholism because the stigma is softening, and people are recognizing this is more a disease of disconnection and lack of community.  Check out this video of the Recovery Elevator Bozeman retreat.  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vFoqj3xeFUI   Exact Nature exactnature.com  Code:  RE20   [16:09] Charlie took his last drink on July 7, 2020He has been to 54 different treatment He just wrote a memoir.  He writes, blogs, and enjoys experiencing life.    Charlie’s mom passed away when he was 13.  He didn’t know how to handle his emotions, so he turned to substances.  The emotional damage compounded over the years.    Charlie’s drinking was a result of unresolved grief and trauma, emotional damage from a succession of stepmothers,  and lack of success as an actor.  Charlie drank and used drugs.  In 2017, his health became an issue.  He started exploring detox and learned about alcoholism.  In 2019 he was in his 15th IOP program, but still wasn’t surrendering.   He had to go back to Lincoln to address some legal issues.  He relapsed several times; he was emotionally and spiritually bankrupt.  In June of 2020, he was receptive to love and faith from his higher power.  He decided to implement what he learned at the facilities he experienced.  He relapsed again, but in July he realized alcohol wasn’t working for him.   Charlie maintained a job through most of his addiction which provided insurance and access to treatment.  He was privileged and knows he had access to therapists and treatment modalities many don’t.  He did build up a lot of medical debt.     Charlie overcomes cravings or negative emotions with music, cleaning, calling friends, visiting family.  He also journals and meditates. He has learned to listen to his emotions and ask,  what do you need?    Cognitively Charlie processed his trauma in treatment.  He didn’t process the trauma emotionally or spiritually until he had been sober for a few months.  Once he processed the trauma, he learned to love himself and heal the emotional trauma.  His relationships with his dad and his sister evolved in an amazing way.   Charlie began writing in 2018 but continued drinking until 2020.  His book has provided some built-in accountability.  https://www.amazon.com/At-Least-Not-Frog-Alcoholism-ebook/dp/B09B5MFT1X/ref=cm_cr_arp_d_pb_opt?ie=UTF8   Charlie is a fan of gratitude list and believes that gratitude+humility=happiness.  He loves travel from beach to mountains and is grateful he can remember his adventures.   Odette’s Summary Grateful Snacking is a company that makes delicious and healthy snacks to support our journey in recovery. Grateful snacking - https://gratefulsnacking.com/   Sponsor: Exact Nature exactnature.com  Code:  RE20 Upcoming events, retreats, and courses: https://www.recoveryelevator.com/costarica/ You can find more information about our events Resources Connect with Cafe RE - Use the promo code OPPORTUNITY to waive the set-up fee. Recovery Elevator YouTube - Subscribe here! Sobriety Tracker iTunes   
9/13/202157 minutes, 51 seconds
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RE 342: Do Your Part

Episode 342 – Do Your Part   Today we have Michael.  He is 43, from N. Georgia and took his last drink on January 1, 2020.   Registration for Costa Rica (January 15-23) is open.  https://www.recoveryelevator.com/costarica/   Highlights from Paul   Paul discusses three elements that are critical to doing your part in recovery.  Paul believes self-respect, self-love, and well-being are fundamental to healing.  Doing the work is essential, and it eventually becomes embodied in your circuitry.  Over time, we retrain the brain to stop self-harming with alcohol, pop tarts, and disrespect from others.    The state of our world reflects our lack of connection with ourselves, our planet, and our community.  He believes a tipping point is upon us.  We can help the world by fixing our internal environment, our inner pollution that results in external contamination - that is our part.  The inner work (i.e., letting go of resentments) benefits others as well.    Exact Nature exactnature.com  Code:  RE20   [11:01] Michael took his last drink on January 1, 2020.  He is from 43, married, and has two kids.  He is a graphic designer and enjoys painting, drawing, playing music, and running.   Michael started drinking in high school. He drank to fit in and didn’t really like alcohol.  He trained himself to drink.  He used alcohol to celebrate, and it felt good. He now realizes he was trying to become somebody he wasn’t.   In college, alcohol was everywhere, and he drank almost daily.  Michael noticed early on his drinking was an issue.   Post-college, Michael didn’t want the party to stop.  Free booze was a great excuse to overindulge.  Alcohol and celebration went hand in hand for Michael.  He began moderating when his children were about to be born.  Over time, Michael continued to try moderation, and the voice in his head continued getting louder.  He started looking at pictures from events he attended and realized there was no joy in his eyes because he wasn’t present for his own life.  Accepting love was a real challenge for Michael.  He quit drinking for an entire year but gradually returned to drinking. Michael now believes sobriety represents his authentic self, and that’s why he had to train himself to drink.  Podcasts and the book “This Naked Mind” helped him understand addiction.  Michael discovered Recovery Elevator, signed up and became part of the community.    Recovery is fantastic for Michael.  He doesn’t need alcohol to be himself, confident, present, feel his feelings, true joy, true love, and his life is greater than he imagined it would be.  He embraces his inner light and beauty as a human being.  He loves his wife and his family and appreciates his RE tribe, who understand what it’s like to cope with addiction.    Michael talks to someone in recovery every day. He focuses on exercise, working the steps, and writing music to support his recovery.    Kris’ Summary Kris spoke about learning the scientific reasons for addiction when he was in treatment.  He needed to understand that addiction was about more than poor personal choices. Kris believes you can’t intellectualize your way out of addiction.  Kris attended his first sober meet-up six weeks after he left treatment.  He witnessed what ‘fun in sobriety’ looks like.  A gathering of strangers came together to learn to live the life we were meant for can be fun and much more satisfying than addiction.  The healing spirit is amazing.  Shifting the energy we used to put into drinking toward a greater goal:  personal growth, showing up for others and community.  Kris appreciates everyone he has encountered in the RE community.  I am here; I am whole.  Feel it.  Believe it!   Sponsor: Exact Nature exactnature.com  Code:  RE20 Upcoming events, retreats, and courses: https://www.recoveryelevator.com/costarica/ You can find more information about our events Resources Connect with Cafe RE - Use the promo code OPPORTUNITY to waive the set-up fee. Recovery Elevator YouTube - Subscribe here! Sobriety Tracker iTunes   
9/6/20211 hour, 1 minute, 14 seconds
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RE 341: Head Into the Storm

Episode 341 – Head into the storm   On today’s podcast we’ve got Britt, she is 45, from California and she took her last drink on November 13, 2018.   Registration for Costa Rica (January 15-23) opens Wednesday 9/1.  https://www.recoveryelevator.com/costarica/   Highlights from Paul   Solving human problems can be discovered in nature.  Lone bison run away from storms in the opposite direction.  Humans run away from cravings and tough life challenges.  Packs of bison walk through the storm together, shoulder to shoulder.  They know the quickest way to weather the storm is through.  It’s vital that we work alongside others to weather the storm of addiction.  Facing the storm together is fun.   [6:52] Paul shares a great story about his adventures with Britt and how much he admires how she has embraced her AF journey.  Paul loves how Britt burned the ships and showed how invigorating life can be sans alcohol.    Exact Nature exactnature.com  Code: RE20   [09:54] Britt took her last drink November 13, 2018.  She loves the outdoors, hiking and music.   Britt had a slow burn into active addiction.  She struggled with depression and agoraphobia in her teens.  When she hit 30, she lost 100 pounds.   Losing that much weight is a challenge.  Drinking helped her deal with those emotions.  She quit drinking after the loss of a friend and white knuckled for over a year.  She went back to drinking, but it progressed.  Reviewing her journals helped her to see she made multiple attempts to quit and moderate.  She made a geographic change hoping for a cure.  She believed her rock bottom came when she was drinking daily, then she went to work for a liquor store while looking for full time work.  Cognitive dissonance was in play for two years, and she never gave up.  While listening to podcasts, she tried a 30-day solution and it stuck.   Britt found that drinking gave her a tiny feeling of satisfaction that ultimately turned into shame and loathing.  Control has been a theme that she is continuing to explore.  Once she was able to stack some days, she leveraged journaling and Café RE retreats.  Meeting other people who were also ditching the booze inspired a new level of accountability that worked.  Personal integrity helped her to honor her commitment to quit drinking.  Britt learned that she leveraged food, exercise, and relationships to soothe herself.  Now she explores new parks or trails.  Meditation has been instrumental to her sobriety.  Addiction has humbled Britt, softened her relationships, and opened her to more meaningful connections.   [42:17] Britt shares a powerful journal entry.  Addiction isn’t in a place, and neither is recovery.  There is freedom in that.   Odette’s Summary   Odette reminds listeners that her life is messy with ups, downs, good and bad days.  Keep showing up and remember you help others by showing up.    Sponsor: Exact Nature exactnature.com  Code:  RE20 Upcoming events, retreats, and courses: https://www.recoveryelevator.com/costarica/ You can find more information about our events Resources Connect with Cafe RE - Use the promo code OPPORTUNITY to waive the set-up fee. Recovery Elevator YouTube - Subscribe here! Sobriety Tracker iTunes   
8/30/202155 minutes, 21 seconds
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RE 340: Give Yourself a Break

Episode 340  – Give yourself a break   On today’s podcast we’ve got Mike, he is 36, from Fort Worth, TX and he took his last drink on September 20, 2020.   Highlights from Paul   We are incredibly hard on ourselves. The point of this episode is to give us permission to let much of that go, and to move the needle slightly on how you view yourself and the drinking.   Hating yourself for drinking, for not being able to quit drinking, for not holding the promises made to yourself, etc. isn’t productive.  The shame and guilt that accompany those statements isn’t either.   Dr. Gabor Mate congratulates someone who experienced depression. Why? Because depression and anxiety are mechanisms that kick in for us to go internal and find ourselves. Give yourself a break if you experience addiction, anxiety, or depression. Use them as levers to learn to know and love yourself.    Check out Paul’s YouTube video https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=b2mVZadRTkA&t=1s   Paul suggests not making self-love conditional or transactional.  He also suggests finding healthier coping strategies.  They are infinite.   Exact Nature [email protected]   [12:44] Mike took his last drink on September 20, 2020.  He is married and expecting a baby boy.    Mike’s drinking began in high school.  His drinking progressed from a 12 pack of Coors Light to 2 12 packs of white claws a day.  In his late twenties, he started logging his drinks on his calendar. He got married and hoped his behavior would change.  He could go for a few months without drinking but was a dry drunk.  He was very focused on being manly and Mike’s version of that meant he struggled being honest with himself and others.  It was difficult to admit he had a problem.  On the outside, things seemed fine.  He was functional, but Mike’s identity was in the approval of others and how he was viewed by the world.    He quit his job to enter rehab and entered a faith base rehab program.  When he returned, he was more prideful and selfish than ever before, and his marriage deteriorated.  He relapsed and projected his self-pity and hate onto his wife.  He knew he would drink himself to death or swallow his pride and admit himself to another rehab.    Mike entered one of the toughest rehabs in the country.  There he learned the root cause of his drinking was about unresolved childhood trauma.  Mike was physically taken care of, but his family emotional model taught him not to show weakness.  In rehab, he was taught the 5 why’s model to deal with his unprocessed issues.    Mike starts his day with coffee and prayer.  He’s in the best shape of his life and tries to treat his body as a temple.  He consistently and constantly surrenders every day.  He has learned to be well versed in apologizing and forgiving.  Mike says it’s not easy, but pride doesn’t go with you when you die.   Mike now defines being a man as being humble.  He talks about his feelings and tries to treat people the best that he can.  Mike is helping others through his Instagram channel.  Find him @fathfullysober.   Odette’s Summary   Odette shared a passage from Melody Beattie.  Stop doing so much, if doing so much is wearing you out or not achieving the desired results. Stop thinking so much and so hard about it. Stop worrying so about it. Stop trying to force, to manipulate, to coerce, or to make it happen.   Making things happen is controlling. We can take positive action to help things happen. We can do our part. But many of us do much more than our part. We overstep the boundaries from caring and doing our part into controlling, caretaking, and coercing. Controlling is self-defeating. It doesn't work. By overextending ourselves to make something happen, we may be stopping it from happening…   Upcoming events, retreats, and courses: You can find more information about our events including Costa Rica and Denver   Resources Connect with Cafe RE - Use the promo code OPPORTUNITY to waive the set-up fee. Recovery Elevator YouTube - Subscribe here! Sobriety Tracker iTunes   
8/23/202156 minutes, 11 seconds
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RE 339: Does Addiction Serve a Purpose?

Episode 339  – Does addiction serve a purpose?   On today’s podcast we’ve got Nate, he is 39, from Ohio and he took his last drink on October 9, 2015.   If you like the Recovery Elevator podcast, please leave us a review on iTunes and help eradicate the stigma.    My favorite part of RE is back. And I hope to see you at an upcoming event. We’ve got Costa Rica January 15-23 and then we’re in Denver Colorado April 14th -17th.   Highlights from Paul   Is addiction a disease or not?  Paul says that addiction isn’t a disease, but a learned behavior that expresses itself in unhealthy environments.  In unhealthy, traumatic, or lonely environments, we develop adaptive behaviors such as excessive drinking to help us cope.  Check out Paul’s thoughts in more detail in the following video.    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KKY4l7ez5pw&t=35s   Crossing the river of addition means letting go of our resentments, fears, anxieties, jealousies, attachments, and choose love. If you ride that wave of pain long enough, it will give you two choices:  life or death.  Thanks to the stigma which helps keep paradigms in check, we label ourselves dysfunctional, or broken. Addictions represent things that need deep healing.   People in recovery understand that love and acceptance is more important than you should be wearing a mask, or you should get vaccinated… and if you don’t, we’re no longer friends. We work together for one common goal. The rest of society is not equipped with the tools and emotional intelligence to do so.   Addictions are wake up calls. Invitations, to step into your true authentic self. Addictions give us the fast track to see that love always wins. We get there by seeing what’s not working in life. I think an addiction exists to push us back to source. To creation. To love and light.   I encourage you to stop labeling your drinking problem as bad because it’s not. And that a major waste of time energy.   Exact Nature [email protected]   [13:11]  Nate took his last drink 10/9/2015.  He grew up in Ohio in a traditional Midwest family with a family.  He started drinking at an early age to fit in and numb some insecurities.  He realized he was gay at an early age, needed to accept himself in an environment that didn’t include role models or peers.    He recognized consequences on drinking early on with a DUI and fights at parties.  When he graduated from college, his drinking shifted from social drinking to misery drinking.  Nate described an era of drinking and when it became problematic.  He was able to cling to career success, a great work ethic and worked in the restaurant business in a management role.  He worked from home, which fed his disease.  He took micro naps after starting his morning with vodka and chardonnay to continue working.  He began regressing and turning inward.  Nate avoided sharing his secrets.  He came out to friends in high school.  He lived an open life in college.  It was a ten-year period before he was living an open life.    He remembers waking up with a stiff neck and that continued for several weeks.  While visiting his sister, he fell to the ground, his body went limp, he lost his vision.  He had a stroke at age 32 because of his drinking.  The doctors didn’t ask many questions about his drinking.  He spent 6 weeks in the ICU and had to learn to walk and learn to use his extremities again.  His vision returned. They asked no questions about addiction, alcohol, or drugs.  While in the hospital he thought daily about his first drink when he left the hospital and he stopped at the liquor store for champagne on his way home.  He continued drinking after his stroke.   His best friend went into treatment, and she modeled the attraction of sobriety for him.  He remembers catching himself in the mirror and he paused wondering where the last 15 years went.  His sister took him to a treatment center 30 minutes later.  Nate believes being able to make the decision himself and not be forced into it was important for his success.    He has been entrenched in 12 Step recovery since.    Odette’s Summary   Odette described recovery as an opportunity, not a sacrifice.  Creating and fostering a gratitude mindset can help you cross the bridge from being mad or sad that you can’t drink anymore to one of gratitude.  Odette has a gratitude practice she uses every day.     Remember you are not alone and together is always better.    Sponsor Exact Nature Use code RE20 at exactnature.com   Upcoming events, retreats, and courses: Bozeman 2021 You can find more information about our events including Costa Rica and Denver   Resources Connect with Cafe RE - Use the promo code OPPORTUNITY to waive the set-up fee. Recovery Elevator YouTube - Subscribe here! Sobriety Tracker iTunes   
8/16/20211 hour, 3 minutes, 48 seconds
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RE 338: Old Narratives

Episode 338 – Old Narratives   On today’s podcast we’ve got Rebecca she took his last drink on October 22, 2019, she is from Madison Wisconsin, and  is 31 years old.   Finding Your Better You Highlights When we don’t know the root of our triggers, when we don’t know the narratives that are ingrained in our brains and in our souls.  We think something is wrong with us. And when we think something is wrong with us, we feel shame. Part of taking responsibility of your healing is knowing yourself, so that you can get outside of this shame cycle and can walk the bridge over to self-empathy. When I know myself better, I can zoom out and see what was happening in my mind, understand myself better and allows me to manage my relationships differently. This makes me navigate my cravings better, because mine come when I feel this belief of, I am not considered.   Look within and find some narratives that are living inside of you? Stories that live in the past, yet they are being perpetuated in your present life. We can re-write those stories. But only until we detect them.   Insights from Rebecca’s Journey   [09:18] Kris introduces Rebecca.  Rebecca began drinking at age 14 and she hated it.   She was afraid of drinking because her dad was in law enforcement.  She noticed a shift in her drinking at age 25.  In 2011, her dad went to prison and that trauma had a huge impact on her life.  She was also a victim of domestic violence.  She thanks alcohol for getting her through terrible times and for the life she has now.  Rebecca’s drinking became all day drinking because she was isolated, alone, and bored.  She would binge drink to soothe loneliness.  She was falling apart, other than work.    She began listening to recovery podcasts and reached out to her employee assistance office.  She entered a therapy group that helped with alcohol addiction and trauma. She was holding on some trauma from her past that became an excuse for drinking.  She was stuck in a Day 1 cycle and a shame cycle. She went to rehab and detoxed from alcohol and Xanax.  It was a very structured program that gave her some tools.    Learning to connect was important for Rebecca.  She leaned in heavily on AA and found a local community of sober women.  She is now very engaged with Café RE which has helped keep her sober.  She constantly evaluates her program. She continues to suffer from anxiety and depression, but she isn’t alone anymore.  She really wants to give back and is now able to do so.  She always challenges the narrative recognizing that a bad day can be turned around.   Rebecca said, keep it simple!    Kris’ Message Kris is celebrating four years of continuous sobriety.   He shared a quote from Marianne Williamson, “Our greatest fear is not that we are inadequate.  Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure.  It is our light, not our darkness that frightens us most.  We ask ourselves, who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous.  Actually, who are you not to be?  Playing small does not serve the world.  We born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us.  As we let our own light shine, we give others permission to do the same.”  Take some time to recognize the work you are doing.  Resist the urge to minimize yourself.  You are a gift to this world.  You deserve happiness.    It all starts from the inside out.   Sponsor Exact Nature Use code RE20 at exact nature.com Shout out to The Chocolate Moose, a Bozeman Retreat Sponsor.   https://www.thechocolatemoose406.com/ @thechocolatemoose406 on Instagram     Upcoming events,