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On Attachment

English, Social, 1 season, 138 episodes, 2 days, 3 hours, 5 minutes
About
Are you ready to move beyond relationship anxiety and develop the tools & insight to create a secure, healthy relationship? In this show, join Relationship Coach & Attachment Expert Stephanie Rigg as she delves deep into all things attachment, love, relationships & intimacy - sharing her wisdom and experience to help you start making real changes in your life & relationships.
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How to Stop Comparing Yourself to Others

In today's episode, we're talking all about comparison. Comparison is one of those things that we're all susceptible to at some point or another: we compare ourselves based on appearance, personality, success, relationships. It can sometimes seem like there's a neverending list of reasons to feel dissatisfied or inadequate when we look at our lives relative to someone else's. And yet, while comparison is arguably a universal human experience, it's undeniable that some of us struggle with the comparison trap more than others - sometimes to the point where it feels debilitating and destructive to our sense of self.We'll cover:why some people are more susceptible to the comparison trap than othershow this tendency interfaces with other struggles like unworthiness, jealousy, anxious attachment, and fear of abandonmenthow building our self-worth can help us to shift focus away from others and build more genuine self-confidence⭐️ SIGN UP FOR THE 28-DAY SECURE SELF CHALLENGE ⭐️Further Links & Resources Explore my library of free guides, classes & meditations Join my new course, Secure Together Save $150 on my Higher Love break-up course with the code PHOENIX Follow me on Instagram: @stephanie__rigg & @onattachment Visit my website
1/16/202417 minutes, 43 seconds
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10 Tips for Healing an Anxious Attachment Style

✨ DOWNLOAD THE FREE PDF GUIDE HERE ✨In today's episode, I'm sharing 10 tips to start healing your anxious attachment style. While "healing" is not something that really lends itself to a formula or a 10-step plan, having guided thousands of students through the process of healing their anxious attachment I can certainly attest to the key growth areas for most folks with anxious attachment patterns. We'll cover things like getting your mindset right, learning about your nervous system, building self-worth, voicing needs and boundaries, how to have healthier conflict, and diversifying your life so you're not solely focused on your relationship. Join the waitlist for Healing Anxious Attachment Black Friday Sale Join my new course, Secure Together Save $150 on my Higher Love break-up course with the code PHOENIX Download the free guide: Attachment 101 Follow me on Instagram: @stephanie__rigg & @onattachment Visit my website
11/21/202329 minutes, 31 seconds
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Why Anxious & Avoidant People Are Drawn to Each Other

In today's episode, I'm sharing some thoughts on the common question of why those with anxious attachment patterns are typically attracted to those with avoidant attachment patterns (and vice versa). As we know, this is a very common relationship pairing - which can be confusing when you feel like the challenges of that dynamic are at odds with your preferences and desires. As we'll cover, oftentimes this is driven by subconscious patterns that propel us to recreate the familiar in a way that reinforces our core beliefs about ourselves and others. Further Links & ResourcesJoin the waitlist for Healing Anxious Attachment Black Friday SaleJoin my new course, Secure TogetherSave $150 on my Higher Love break-up course with the code PHOENIXDownload the free guide: Attachment 101Follow me on Instagram: @stephanie__rigg & @onattachmentVisit my websiteFurther Links & Resources Join the waitlist for Healing Anxious Attachment Black Friday Sale Join my new course, Secure Together Save $150 on my Higher Love break-up course with the code PHOENIX Download the free guide: Attachment 101 Follow me on Instagram: @stephanie__rigg & @onattachment Visit my website
11/8/202320 minutes, 42 seconds
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How to Navigate Different Love Languages

Understanding the 5 love languages can help couples understand the secret language in their relationship dynamics. In this episode, I’ll share how they play out with anxious and avoidant people and offer unique insights and practical tools on how you can share your love language with your partner so they can understand how to love you the way you want to be loved.We’ll cover:The 5 different love languagesThe benefits of knowing your love language, and your partnersHow love languages play out in anxiously attached peopleA different perspective to avoidant love languagesFind me on my new Youtube channel - https://www.youtube.com/@stephanierigg/Further Links & Resources Save $150 on my Higher Love break-up course with the code PHOENIX Follow me on Youtube Download the free guide: Attachment 101 Follow me on Instagram: @stephanie__rigg & @onattachment Visit my website
9/12/202316 minutes, 34 seconds
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Q&A: Mismatched Libido & Anxious-Avoidant Sexual Dynamics

Mismatched libido in a relationship is a challenge that a lot of couples face. In today’s episode, I’ll be answering a listener's question of how to navigate mismatched libido in a relationship, particularly in an anxious-avoidant dynamic. I’ll guide you on strategies to break the anxious-avoidant spiral, by initiating open dialogue and finding a middle ground between both partners.We’ll cover:It’s not going to be 100% aligned all the timeHow sex shows up for anxious and avoidant attachment stylesTaking someone’s behaviour as our own faultUse the code PODCAST50 for 50% off the Sex and Attachment Masterclass - https://www.stephanierigg.com/sex-attachmentFurther Links & Resources Sign up for my upcoming masterclass on Building Trust Follow me on Youtube Download the free guide: Attachment 101 Follow me on Instagram: @stephanie__rigg & @onattachment Visit my website
9/7/202316 minutes, 52 seconds
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Retroactive Jealousy: Navigating Discomfort With Our Partner's Past

Retroactive jealousy is one that focuses on the past, fixating on other partners or stages in your partner's lives and being threatened by it. In today’s conversation, I’ll dive into how such jealousy stirs immense stress, but more importantly, we share insights into building healthier, more resilient relationships.We'll cover:Impacting our self worthLooking for skeletons and reasons to not trustIf you should share the jealousy with your partnerKeeping yourself in an unhealthy loop Further Links & Resources Sign up for my upcoming masterclass on Building Trust Follow me on Youtube Download the free guide: Attachment 101 Follow me on Instagram: @stephanie__rigg & @onattachment Visit my website
9/5/202316 minutes, 19 seconds
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"How to navigate being newly single in my mid-30s? I feel like I'm out of time."

With societal pressures and a ticking clock, being newly single in your mid-30s can be challenging. In today’s episode, I want to share advice on navigating being newly single and the mindset for dating, and honouring the desires you have without feeling hopeless or overwhelmed.We'll cover:Grieving a future you thought you would haveThe opportunity for reframeComparisons to other people’s livesCreating a full and vibrant life for yourselfUse the code PHOENIX for $150 off the Higher Love Course https://www.stephanierigg.com/higher-love Further Links & Resources Sign up for my upcoming masterclass on Building Trust Follow me on Youtube Download the free guide: Attachment 101 Follow me on Instagram: @stephanie__rigg & @onattachment Visit my website
8/31/202314 minutes, 30 seconds
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The Importance of Separateness in Relationships

As an anxiously attached person, space in a relationship can sometimes feel like the biggest threat. In today’s episode, I’m sharing my own experience with this and advice on how you can consciously choose space and separateness to foster greater intimacy in your relationship, especially in a time where you may feel more drawn to stay connected.We'll cover:Wanting to close the gap and be closerAdvice for how to reset and nurture separateness Things to do to focus on your own self-trust and securityCreating a healthier, more balanced relationshipFurther Links & Resources Sign up for my upcoming masterclass on Building Trust Follow me on Youtube Download the free guide: Attachment 101 Follow me on Instagram: @stephanie__rigg & @onattachment Visit my website
8/29/202317 minutes, 51 seconds
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How to Help a Partner Struggling with their Mental Health

Looking out for someone who you care for that is going through a hard time is a challenge most of us will have to face in our lifetimes. But feelings of threat to the relationship, especially as an anxious attached person may come up in these times, and I want to help you navigate through these while prioritising your wellbeing, and not overstepping.We'll cover:Monitoring your “fixing” the situationWays to support someone and yourselfHow you can be a balanced supportive personNothing changes, unless something changes.Further Links & Resources Sign up for my upcoming masterclass on Building Trust Follow me on Youtube Download the free guide: Attachment 101 Follow me on Instagram: @stephanie__rigg & @onattachment Visit my website
8/24/202318 minutes, 12 seconds
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How to Stop Taking Things So Personally

In today’s episode, I’m answering a listener’s question on how to stop taking things so personally. This is something a lot of us struggle with, and can lead us to internalise others’ behaviour in ways that damage our self-esteem and exacerbate our suffering. We’ll cover:Why you might take things personally The link between people pleasing and taking things personallyHow to approach these situations differently Further Links & Resources Sign up for my upcoming masterclass on Building Trust Download the free guide: Attachment 101 Follow me on Instagram: @stephanie__rigg & @onattachment Visit my website
8/15/202319 minutes, 29 seconds
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The Importance of Discomfort in Life & Relationships

In today’s episode, we’re talking all about discomfort — specifically, why it’s so essential in any healing journey to reframe the way we approach and relate to getting uncomfortable. Most of us recoil at the first sign of discomfort, preferring to stay squarely within the domain of what we know and can control. But this often means we’re confining ourselves to a very limited experience of what’s possible in our lives. We’ll cover:Why we tend to gravitate towards what is familiar and knownHow embracing discomfort builds resilience Physical protocols for exploring discomfort Building our emotional capacity for discomfort  Join My Signature Program, Healing Anxious Attachment https://www.stephanierigg.com/healing-anxious-attachment Further Links & Resources Join Healing Anxious Attachment Download the free guide: Attachment 101 Follow me on Instagram: @stephanie__rigg & @onattachment Visit my website
8/1/202323 minutes, 22 seconds
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3 Tips for Building Self-Trust

In the absence of self trust, we see a lot of other dominoes fall in terms of self worth and self respect. This is something almost everyone I work with struggles with to some degree and it’s a challenging piece of the puzzle when it comes to our personal growth in relationships. In today’s episode, I’m sharing 3 tips for building self trust to help you to go out into the world and make aligned choices.We'll cover:Knowing yourself and your valuesTrusting your own boundariesFinding others to sense check Knowing it’s not an instant fixUse the code JUNE50 for 50% off 3 masterclasses or the Higher Love Course - https://www.stephanierigg.com Further Links & Resources Apply for my 6-month Homecoming Mastermind Download the free guide: Attachment 101 Follow me on Instagram: @stephanie__rigg & @onattachment Visit my website
6/27/202316 minutes, 53 seconds
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Am I being unreasonable? (Part 2)

“Am I being reasonable” is something that I often hear and it’s important to remember that asking this is so contextually important. So in today’s episode, I’m continuing my series with the goal of helping you build the muscle of discernment and capacity for self trust in asking yourself the question.We'll cover:Is it unreasonable to talk about the future - marriage, moving in, trips away?Is it unreasonable to want my partner to come back within 24 hours after a fight?Is it unreasonable when I ask my partner to think more about me in the relationship?Is it unreasonable after 3 years, wanting my partner to anticipate my needs without me having to request them?Is it unreasonable for me to want to spend 90% of my free time with my partner?Use the code JUNE50 for 50% off 3 masterclasses or the Higher Love Course - https://www.stephanierigg.com Further Links & Resources Apply for my 6-month Homecoming Mastermind Download the free guide: Attachment 101 Follow me on Instagram: @stephanie__rigg & @onattachment Visit my website
6/22/202317 minutes, 33 seconds
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5 Reminders If You're Going Through a Break-Up

Unless you’ve married your high school sweetheart and lived happily ever after, you have likely experienced a breakup in your life. In today’s episode, I’m sharing 5 reminders and ways to support yourself while you're going through a break-up.We'll cover:The break-up is going to be hardFinding other support peopleProcessing the break-up in anxious and avoidant waysNot making meaning or assumptionsUse the code JUNE50 for 50% off 3 masterclasses or the Higher Love Course - https://www.stephanierigg.com Further Links & Resources Apply for my 6-month Homecoming Mastermind Download the free guide: Attachment 101 Follow me on Instagram: @stephanie__rigg & @onattachment Visit my website
6/20/202320 minutes, 27 seconds
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How to Navigate Addiction to Drama with Dr Scott Lyons

If you’ve ever caught yourself wondering why you keep attracting the same type of person, this episode is for you. Today I’m joined by Dr Scott Lyons to talk about deregulation of energy, attention and emotional expression and navigating addiction to drama. Dr Scott also shares a story about how he knew he was no longer attracted to unavailable people and why he walked out in the middle of a date. We'll cover:Understanding the addiction to dramaCommon characteristics of someone addicted to dramaBig emotions don’t equal vulnerabilityWhat your “spark” really isFinding people who know how to loveFind out more about Dr Scott Lyons - https://www.drscottlyons.com/addicted-to-drama-bookUse the code JUNE50 for 50% off 3 masterclasses or the Higher Love Course - https://www.stephanierigg.com Further Links & Resources Apply for my 6-month Homecoming Mastermind Download the free guide: Attachment 101 Follow me on Instagram: @stephanie__rigg & @onattachment Visit my website
6/15/202349 minutes, 58 seconds
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The Gift of Anxious-Avoidant Relationships

Anxious-Avoidant relationships present challenges with navigating the two different attachment dynamics. But, there are certainly gifts within that dynamic when the individuals involved are prepared to meet in the middle. Today I’m sharing what those gifts can look like, and tips on making the most of your anxious-avoidant relationships so that it can be healing rather than reinforcing painful patterns.We'll cover:How each attachment style partner responds to stressLeading with compassion and careThe work that needs to be done with both attachment stylesLessons and opportunities within anxious-avoidant relationshipsUse the code JUNE50 for 50% off 3 masterclasses or the Higher Love Course - https://www.stephanierigg.com Further Links & Resources Apply for my 6-month Homecoming Mastermind Download the free guide: Attachment 101 Follow me on Instagram: @stephanie__rigg & @onattachment Visit my website
6/8/202318 minutes, 6 seconds
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How do I get my avoidant partner to open up?

This week, I’m answering the community question, “How do I get my avoidant partner to open up?”. I’ll dive into how to pave the way for more genuine, authentic connection and what that looks like for people with avoidant attachment styles and anxious attachment styles within relationships.We'll cover:Preferences of wanting to receive informationTrust wounds in avoidant partnersSelf-serving behaviour that could be impacting this issueInsight into their experienceUse the code JUNE50 for 50% off 3 masterclasses or the Higher Love Course - https://www.stephanierigg.com Further Links & Resources Apply for my 6-month Homecoming Mastermind Download the free guide: Attachment 101 Follow me on Instagram: @stephanie__rigg & @onattachment Visit my website
6/6/202318 minutes, 56 seconds
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5 Reasons Why People Cheat

A couple of weeks ago, I shared my thoughts on if “once a cheater, always a cheater” is true, and today I’m continuing the conversation around the reasons why people cheat in a relationship and getting curious around what’s driving these behaviours. For some people this may be a challenging episode to listen to, so please make sure you’re in the right mindset to listen.We'll cover:Wounds around worthinessDisconnection and lonelinessFeeling like it’s the easy way outBeing seen through rose coloured glassesUse the code JUNE50 for 50% off 3 masterclasses or the Higher Love Course - https://www.stephanierigg.com Further Links & Resources Apply for my 6-month Homecoming Mastermind Download the free guide: Attachment 101 Follow me on Instagram: @stephanie__rigg & @onattachment Visit my website
6/1/202326 minutes, 12 seconds
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Understanding Your Origin Wounds with Vienna Pharaon

Vienna Pharaon has the gift of conveying complex and emotionally dense topics with such nuance. Today she joins me on the podcast to talk about origin wounds and how they impact patterns in relationships as adults and how we can honour our pain and experience.We'll cover:What happens when you continue to hold on to the “I’m fine”The 5 origin woundsThe resistance in opening up about our family dynamics and historyWhat happens when we avoid being in pain properly Finding peace with the pain Further Links & Resources Apply for my 6-month Homecoming Mastermind Download the free guide: Attachment 101 Follow me on Instagram: @stephanie__rigg & @onattachment Visit my website
5/30/202352 minutes, 20 seconds
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"How to enjoy being single when I really want a relationship?"

When you really want a relationship, enjoying being single can be something incredibly challenging. In today's Q&A style episode, I’m diving into how to enjoy being single when all you really want is a relationship.We'll cover:Owning your desire for a loving, healthy relationshipBeing grateful in the presentWhat it means to actually enjoy your life being singleUse the code PHOENIX for $150 off the Higher Love Course - https://www.stephanierigg.com/higher-loveFurther Links & Resources Apply for my 6-month Homecoming Mastermind Download the free guide: Attachment 101 Follow me on Instagram: @stephanie__rigg & @onattachment Visit my website
5/25/202315 minutes, 18 seconds
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5 Communication Mistakes You're Making (& What to do instead)

In today's episode, I’m sharing five communication and conflict mistakes that I often see people making in relationships and what you can do instead to bridge a positive connection with your partner.We'll cover:Why we shouldn’t avoid the hard conversationsWhat happens when we suppress our emotionsHow to express your desires with your partnerWhy we shouldn’t expect our partners to be mind readers Further Links & Resources Apply for my 6-month Homecoming Mastermind Download the free guide: Attachment 101 Follow me on Instagram: @stephanie__rigg & @onattachment Visit my website
5/23/202323 minutes, 40 seconds
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Is "once a cheater, always a cheater" true?

Cheating within relationships can cause so much pain, grief and sensitivity around betray and infidelity. In today's Q&A style episode, I’m sharing my thoughts on if people can really change if they’ve cheated in the past and advice for people in the situation with concerns that their partner may not stay faithful.We'll cover:Learning from mistakesThe messy feelings that lead to infidelityTending to needs that aren’t being metExpressing self awareness and regretFurther Links & Resources Apply for my 6-month Homecoming Mastermind Download the free guide: Attachment 101 Follow me on Instagram: @stephanie__rigg & @onattachment Visit my website
5/18/202313 minutes, 15 seconds