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It’s Not Always Black and White Podcast

English, Social, 1 season, 22 episodes, 8 hours, 56 minutes
About
Bongi Msimanga and Matt Hodson explore their marriage. Talking love, race and the grey spaces in between.
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Finding Your Tribe

Bongi and Matt return for a one off special episode, but that means you get the chance to meet their new four-legged arrival (and find out what Winston makes of him!) Bongi flies solo in this episode to meet a group of black and Asian mums and talks about raising children in a predominately white community. Hear about the challenges they faced in even setting up the 'Black Mums of Cheshire' and the day to day support their new found tribe gives them, in everything from hair to tackling racism in schools. If you've enjoyed this episode, please give us a five star review and subscribe to It's Not Always Black and White wherever you get your podcasts.
5/26/202239 minutes, 10 seconds
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What I Don't Understand About Patriotism

Bongi and Matt talk racial micro aggressions, unity and English patriotism, plus when it comes to multi-cultural food, there’s nowhere like Britain. They celebrate the progress of people re-educating themselves about the nuances when it comes to race, but wishes she didn't even need to talk about racism. But on the lighter side, can dogs be prejudiced? If you've enjoyed this episode of It's Not Always Black and White, don’t forget to subscribe and please consider leaving a five star review and comment on your favourite podcast app.
2/28/202228 minutes, 15 seconds
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Wearing Onesies To Bed

Bongi and Matt get personal in this episode, talking about love, sex and relationships. They’re more honest and open than ever, even if Matt thinks Bongi is lying about her lingerie. Truth be told, and her sister who joins the conversation from South Africa agrees, she’s more likely to be found in a onesie than stockings! If you've enjoyed this episode of It's Not Always Black and White, don’t forget to subscribe and please consider leaving a five star review and comment on your favourite podcast app.
2/21/202226 minutes, 36 seconds
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It's Tough Talking About Emotions

Bongi opens up about her own mental health and how hard she has found the last two years, sharing her experiences of racism and heart-breaking personal loss. Matt admits he's usually level headed but the pandemic and lockdown have been tough on his mental health, but both are thankful for Winston for keeping them going. If you've enjoyed this episode of It's Not Always Black and White, don’t forget to subscribe and please consider leaving a five star review and comment on your favourite podcast app.
2/14/202227 minutes, 14 seconds
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I Never Thought I’d Shower With A Dog

Bongi and Matt reveal just how spoilt their 5 year old pug Winston is, what Bongi’s family in South Africa think of their pampering ways and how Winston helps lift things when the going gets tough. The couple open up about how Winston's pulled them through the hardest times in lockdown and discuss if it's set a precedent to the type of parents they'll be. If you've enjoyed this episode of It's Not Always Black and White, please subscribe and consider leaving a five star review or comment on your favourite podcast app.
2/7/202229 minutes, 46 seconds
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The Lord Moves In Mysterious Ways

Bongi is a Christian and Matt is agnostic. In this episode they talk about their differing views when it comes to faith, what part religion will play in their future children’s lives and why Bongi likes to pray with their 5-year-old pug Winston. If you've enjoyed this episode of It's Not Always Black and White, don’t forget to subscribe and please consider leaving a five star review and comment on your favourite podcast app.
1/31/202234 minutes, 48 seconds
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You Can’t Choose Your Family

Bongi and Matt talk openly about the cultural differences between their families, the fears they have about raising mixed race children and what their relationship with their 5-year-old pug Winston has taught them about parenting. If you've enjoyed this episode, don’t forget to subscribe and please consider leaving a five star review and comment on your favourite podcast app.
1/24/202234 minutes, 17 seconds
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It's Not Always Black & White Is Back

It's not Always Black and White returns on Monday 24th January. Bongi and Matt are back and discuss their relationship and views on life as an interracial couple. They've also got a 5 year old pug called Winston who'll be making a regular appearance. They'll be chatting religion, sex and racism.
1/18/20221 minute, 41 seconds
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Football and Racism Special Part 3

In the final episode of our football and racism specials, Bongi and Matt discuss how politics ended up on the pitch at Euro 2020. Bongi opens up about how the denial of racism and abuse in the UK means she's had the most traumatic year of her life. Admitting it's made them both want to leave England, even before the abuse aimed at black football players. For both of them, it's not just about monkey emojis sent to Rashford, Sancho and Saka, it's much deeper. They discuss the divisions in society that have left Bongi feeling like the system is against her. Matt feels that not only was the result depressing enough, the aftermath has been a massive trigger for the same old issues. One of the questions in the bowl asks them both to think about how the people coming out in support of the the black players makes them feel, and how the Euro 2021 England squad has connected with communities and make them question racism. If you've enjoyed this podcast don’t forget to subscribe and please consider leaving a 5 star review and a comment on your favourite podcast app.
7/16/202126 minutes, 11 seconds
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Football and Racism Special Part 2

Bongi and Matt discuss why the England team taking the knee become so divisive during Euro 2020 and got them booed by some fans. As a black African woman living in the UK Bongi questions why people accept a family of carrots on TV but not black people on the pitch or telly. She calls out those fans and urges people to really think what they stand for. Matt tries to get his head round why people can’t support the players off the pitch too, regardless of their skin colour. For Bongi she questions how Rashford, Sancho and Saka can go from heroes to villains at the sound of a whistle. The couple discuss whether they think the media treats black players differently and if it's one rule for them, another for the rest of the squad - and if that goes for everyone else from celebs to Royals. If you've enjoyed this podcast don’t forget to subscribe and please consider leaving a 5 star review and a comment on your favourite podcast app.
7/16/202124 minutes, 19 seconds
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Football and Racism Special Part 1

Bongi and Matt reach back into the bowl to discuss racism and football in the wake of the racist abuse aimed at black England players after their defeat in the Euro 2020 final. Bongi admits she’s not a football fan but she is a fan of Gareth Southgates squad, and for the first time she could get behind England on their social values. The aftermath has hit her hard. For Football fan Matt what’s been happening off the pitch to Saka, Rashford and Sancho made him feel ashamed and guilty about the festering racism that’s surfaced. As a couple it makes them feel they need to shout up louder to tackle racism but it’s even made them consider moving to a different country for their children future. If you've enjoyed this podcast don’t forget to subscribe and please consider leaving a 5 star review and a comment on your favourite podcast app.
7/16/202120 minutes, 23 seconds
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10. Race and Racism Part 2

Coming from Southern Africa, Bongi understands the term ‘colourism’ and has witnessed it in her own family, but does British-born Matt know it means within Black culture? He will after this. The topics pulled from the hat in the final episode of series one finds the couple discussing some of the gritty, raw issues around race and racism, including the use of the ‘N’ word, and whether it’s use needs wider discussion. Another big question this episode is what they’d tell their own future children about race. Matt explains why he’d want to start that conversation as a white middle class man from middle England, but does Bongi agree? Whenever they have children, they both agree their child will have the best of both worlds though. If you've enjoyed this podcast don’t forget to subscribe and please consider leaving a 5 star review and a comment on your favourite podcast app.
5/31/202128 minutes, 12 seconds
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9. Race and Racism Part 1

Like many interracial couples during the growth of the Black Lives Matter movement, Bongi and Matt found themselves talking about race in a different way. They’d never really talked about racism as an institution or what it meant for their marriage, until now. In this episode the questions dig deep into it. Bongi speaks up about how she was taught about slavery and colonialism and how that shapes her attitudes today. Matt talks about how witnessing racism in his schooldays has stuck with him into adulthood. This week’s other questions challenge the couple to discuss their understanding of white guilt and acknowledge how terms like that make them feel, as why Bongi finds herself explaining that she didn’t play with elephants as a child! If you've enjoyed this podcast don’t forget to subscribe and please consider leaving a 5 star review and a comment on your favourite podcast app.
5/24/202124 minutes, 28 seconds
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8. Sex and Relationships Part 2

Is being in an interracial couple betraying your own race? Bongi and Matt get deeper into their relationship and explore how it feels to have married someone of a different colour. But how do they think the world sees them differently for it? They take is right back to who they thought they’d marry when they were younger and Bongi confesses the detailed criteria she’d laid out for potential husbands, but did Matt hit the mark? Meanwhile, Matt admits his teenage crushes pretty much shaped his dream wives. When it came to dating, they both had their fair share of cringe-worthy moments, but they talk about who they went for, their ‘types’ and the oddest conversations they had on dates before they met. But what made them think each other was ‘the one’? If you've enjoyed this podcast don’t forget to subscribe and please consider leaving a 5 star review and a comment on your favourite podcast app.
5/17/202122 minutes, 13 seconds
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7. Sex and Relationships Part 1

Bongi and Matt explore sex and how their cultures attitudes help shapes their own marriage In the UK, Matt explored sex before he had the ‘birds and the bees’ chat with his parents – if he had it properly at all. Meanwhile, in South Africa Bongi’s aunts and even Grandma talk about sex and marriage, but not until you’re a bit older. For being in an inter-racial couple, how have they found travelling? Bongi thinks that some places are still off-limits for a black woman and Matt explains how he felt being in a white man in South Africa. But we all know relationships are a mix of sex, love and accepting each other’s worst habits, so the couple admit what annoys them most about each other, and how bathmats and washing up are just two of the issue in their house! If you've enjoyed this podcast don’t forget to subscribe and please consider leaving a 5 star review and a comment on your favorite podcast app!
5/10/202126 minutes, 42 seconds
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5. Great Britain Part 1

Bongi and Matt explore what is so great about Great Britain and what other cultures might not agree with as much, like cuddling up to our pampered pets. In the first part of ‘Great Britain’ Bongi confesses to just how close she is with their pug Winston and why her South African family think she’s lost her mind. But does Matt agree that Britain is a nation of animal lovers, and is it the same in Southern Africa? This week’s other questions include the British food you just don’t understand why people like. Even growing up thousands of miles away, the couple agree that some delicacies are just wrong, where as some unite cultures - if you hold off on the mushy peas! If you've enjoyed this podcast don’t forget to subscribe and please consider leaving a 5 star review and a comment on your favourite podcast app!
5/3/202120 minutes, 26 seconds
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6. Great Britain Part 2

Bongi explains what was most surprising about Great Britain when she first came to the country, from the wages people earn to the amount people swear. Growing up in South Africa Bongi was taught that swearing was not acceptable and could even lose you a boyfriend! But the same can’t be said for Matt being raised in the West Midlands. Matt also tries to get Bongi to admit her favourite British accent is Brummie, but she’s not convinced it is. However, can she decide which part of the country she’d let talk to her all day long? If you've enjoyed this podcast don’t forget to subscribe and please consider leaving a 5 star review and a comment on your favourite podcast app!
5/3/202123 minutes, 5 seconds
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4. Fashion and Beauty Part 2

Does your cultural upbringing define your morning routine? It seems it does for Bongi and Matt, especially when it comes to scrubbing in the shower and slapping on the moisturiser. For Bongi’s family in Southern Africa, not doing it right can be shameful if the neighbours notice! Bongi uses fashion to express herself and loves making herself look good through her clothes. From boiler suits to visors, her wardrobe is crammed. But it’s more than just that, as a black woman she feels like she needs to make an effort to not be looked down on. Meanwhile Matt admits he’s got more t-shirts with holes than he probably should do, and explain why even in South Africa, he wants to wear his trainers. But he does spend an hour in the shower, even if he doesn’t scrub! As for fashion disasters, Bongi’s is one we all dread. Cringe. If you've enjoyed this podcast please consider leaving a 5 star review and a comment on your favourite podcast app!
4/26/202122 minutes, 57 seconds
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3. Fashion and Beauty Part 1

Bongi and Matt get into how their cultures’ beauty ideals differ and what they love about how each other look, even first thing! For Bongi, being a black woman in the UK, even her hair can become a political issue. She questions why afro hair is free game to white people, explains why she can change her hair so often and how she hid her au-natural locks from Matt for ages. Beauty isn’t just skin deep though, the couple discuss skin bleaching and why some black people feel like they need to lighten their skin. Plus Matt gets his head round the lengths Bongi’s gone to in order to have straight hair. Other questions this episode see Bongi and Matt confess their worst hairstyle disaster and what they thought beauty was growing up. If you've enjoyed this podcast please consider leaving a 5 star review and a comment on your favourite podcast app!
4/20/202125 minutes, 26 seconds
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2. Cultural Differences Part 2

When dating turned to love and the prospect of marriage came up, it brought up lots of differences between Bongi’s African culture and the English traditions Matt was used to. Each of their families were worried about the clashes and whether that would come between them. For the couple they were open to live with the differences and to love them. But what did they learn? This week’s questions include whether their families thought they were marrying down, what the biggest differences are and why Bongi used to shout to Matt from across the house! If you've enjoyed this podcast please consider leaving a 5 star review and a comment on your favourite podcast app!
4/12/202123 minutes, 47 seconds
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1. Cultural Differences Part 1

In the first episode, young married couple, Matt Hodson from the West Midlands and Bongi Msimanga, born in Southern Africa start to explore their cultural differences, and what brought them together. Now living in Shropshire with their pet pug, Winston, they discuss those early days, first telling their parents about dating each other and the bit most couples dread, meeting the in-laws. Bongi did warn Matt that he might see them naked sooner than he thought. Before he met Bongi, Matt hadn't left Europe, Bongi didn't know what 'Bog Roll' was. They had to start with learning each other's slang words, language and very different upbringings. What else will they find out as they pull random questions from a bowl and answer as honestly as they can? The questions are demanding, sometimes brutal, and the answers are always raw and often comical! If you've enjoyed this podcast please consider subscribing to hear more and leave us a review wherever you listen to your podcasts.
4/6/202123 minutes, 44 seconds
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Welcome to It’s Not Always Black and White

Bongi Msimanga and Matt Hodson explore their marriage. Talking love, race and the grey spaces in between.
3/31/20212 minutes, 27 seconds