It’s Five O’Clock Somewhere is a new podcast from authors, bloggers and great friends, Jo Middleton and Gill Sims. In it, Gill and Jo kick back with a cocktail and have a bit of fun discussing random topics including but not limited to, parenting, hormones, menopause, weird nineties sex tips, and relationships. Oh, and we also proffer advice we are in no way qualified to give in our regular problem page slot. Jo Middleton is the creator of the award winning Slummy Single Mummy blog, and the author of Playgroups and Prosecco, and Gill Sims is the author of the bestselling Why Mummy series of books, The Saturday Night Sauvignon Sisterhood, and the Peter and Jane blog. We met at an event several years ago, where we bonded over how much we were missing our pets, but not our children. Subsequent meetings saw us crashing a wedding, starting a party in a hotel bar we had persuaded the night porter to open, and liberating a bottle of tequila from a terrifying sausage conglomeration in Brighton. We have not yet been arrested on a night out, but give it time. Get in touch with us by email at [email protected], or follow us on Instagram @its5oclocksomewherepodcast, on Facebook It’s Five O’Clock Somewhere and even on Twitter @5OClock_Podcast. We don’t do TikTok. Our children have forbidden us. Also, it scares us. Produced by James Ede, BeHeard Hosted by LibSyn
The Gift Guide Episode!
Here it is, folks! The episode you've been waiting for all year- yes, it's Gill and Jo's 100% infallible*, expert** Gift Guide, in partnership with Laylo Wine, to buying presents for all the difficult people in your life, from the husband who insists he 'doesn't want anything' but really does, to the weird colleague who always stands just a little bit too close to you, to the ever tricky to buy for elderly relatives. We cover helpful topics like why Toffifee is an excellent passive agressive gift, how to give the gift of intimate itching and what to do when your friend simply won't stop giving you cashmere scarves (not a problem we suffer from, tbh). We also cover some gifts for the nice but hard to buy for friends and family, and in a Christmas miracle, Jo doesn't mention The Crispy Swimming Costume! https://drinklaylo.com/ *This may not be true. **This is definitely not true.
11/29/2023 • 40 minutes, 15 seconds
A Good Hobby
This week we are talking hobbies, in a futile attempt to get ourselves a proper Hobby, as we feel that you are not a proper grown up until you have A Hobby. We talk about what qualifies a hobby as a hobby, and Gill is very firm in her views of what is and is not A Good Hobby. Jo shares a non-hobby related wardrobe malfunction which leads us to ponder if starting a very niche Only Fans could count as a hobby, whether sports are a hobby (NO!), and Gill attempts to explain about her favourite 90s hobby based comedy character, Simon Quinlank, King of All Hobbies. Jo remains unconvinced by this.
10/10/2023 • 34 minutes, 18 seconds
Conspiracy!
Regular listeners will be already be aware that Gill is firmly convinced that the EVIL that is Pumpkin Spiced Latte is nothing more than a conspiracy by Big Cinnamon, so this week we thought we'd talk about a few more of our favourite conspiracies. Are birds real? Who shot JFK? Does Paul McCartney even exist? We have all the answers! Well, we have answers. They may not be the right answers. But we definitely have them!
10/4/2023 • 35 minutes, 21 seconds
Breakdown!
This week, we're chatting about the little things that tip you over the edge- the things you feel you should be able to deal with as a competent adult, but actually make you want to cry, and shout you need a proper grown up for this! Inspired in part by Gill's car actually breaking down and Gill almost breaking down as a result, and Jo's encounter with a particularly vicious record player, flat pack furniture, lawn mowers, spiders and hoovers also feature among the things that cause all of you to break down!
9/27/2023 • 40 minutes, 20 seconds
This Time Next Year, Rodney...
This week, we decided instead of choosing a topic to talk about, we'd simply freestyle like the irrepressible wild spirits we are, and definitely not because we couldn't think of think of a topic. After an...unusual start, where Jo imitates the noise she thinks dolphins make, and Gill discusses the etiquette of matching your table mats to your frock, we hit on the idea of discussing fail safe get rich quick schemes (don't worry, 'stylist' and 'animal impressionist' were not on the list). So if you too want to make your fortune using some handy hints and tips from two broke middle aged podcasters, LISTEN ON!!!!!!
8/9/2023 • 34 minutes, 26 seconds
Joanna Lumley and Litter Trays
This week we are HOME ALONE! Well, Jo is, Gill relates the tale of her disapointment that her beloved husband decided to stay at home and not go on a work trip. We discuss the joys of ready meals, Jo confesses to some dubious eating habits and Gill explains what an 'empty' is, for the benefit of non-Scottish listeners. We also dwell on the bliss of uninterrupted access to the remote control and no one judging your choices, Jo shares her tips for a visit to Swindon, and Gill reveals why her husband refuses to enter the old WW2 bomb shelter in her garden.
8/1/2023 • 34 minutes, 56 seconds
Joanna Lumley and Litter Trays
This week we are HOME ALONE! Well, Jo is, Gill explains how her beloved husband thwarted her plans by deciding not to go away for work and instead to 'spend time' with her. Jo confesses to some dubious eating habits, and Gill explains what an 'empty' is, for the benefit of any non-Scottish listeners. We also dwell happily on the joys of solitary TV watching, Jo shares her tips for a trip to Swindon, and Gill reveals why her husband refuses to enter the WW2 bomb shelter in her garden (NOT a euphemism)!
8/1/2023 • 34 minutes, 56 seconds
Cathedral Bells and Combine Harvesters
This week, we're talking Imposter Syndrome, following Jo's minor breakdown after attempting to advise teenagers at a Careers Evening and explain the podcast to them (easier said than done), there is some speculation about several hot vets, and we wonder why imposter syndrome seems to affect women much more than men. Also, Jo's famous nest of pants gets a mention again!
7/25/2023 • 36 minutes, 26 seconds
Swiping Right and Shrubberies
It's the AMA Episode (Ask Me Anything) with a selection of questions sent in by you, our lovely listeners! We discuss pretty much everything you can think of, including wedding crashing, alfresco sex, avocadoes, one night stands, fish curry, the legalities of various means of dealing with in-laws, dessicated coconut, and of course, cocktails, dogs and Tinder!
6/6/2023 • 42 minutes, 53 seconds
Fury, Feet and Flatulence.
Welcome to the Rage Episode! This week, we're all about the Meno-Rage, the Road-Rage, and the general Outrage of being middle-aged women who are tired of taking the shit the world throws at us! We also explore a new potential career for Jo, discuss an unexpected menopause side effect, and Gill attempts to give dubious dating advice based on her own very shallow values and lack of moral fibre. We also get a bit too over excited about taking our bad language to a new level for the podcast- including a fun fact about the differences between American and British English.
5/10/2023 • 35 minutes, 18 seconds
Kids or Pets?
This week, to celebrate National Kids and Pets Day, we are comparing our children and our beloved animals, to see which are better. I think you all know the foregone conclusions, but we rate them on topics such as Smells and Cleanliness; Obedience; Cost; Embarassment and Usefulness.
4/25/2023 • 43 minutes, 22 seconds
Chocolate Rims and Creme de Menthe
This week, we're talking about Easter, ahead of this weekend's festivities. At least we're trying to, but it all goes terribly wrong when Jo dramatically reveals she has never read I Capture the Castle, which causes Gill to question their entire friendship, such was her distress. It's all OK though, because we decide to start a cult of our own, and Jo suggests the Ginger Sex God Rick Astley as a suitable deity to worship, to cheer Gill up, because that's the sort of thing that real friends do.
4/4/2023 • 30 minutes, 35 seconds
Secret Admirers and Salty Butter
If romance is somewhat lacking in your life for whatever reason, and you are not looking forward to Valentine's Day rapidly approaching next week, this is the episode for you, as we attempt to talk about romance, but fail miserably as we find much more interesting things to discuss, like the time Jo forgot to swallow, hot cross buns, why Gill doesn't hold with boats, and if it's weird for your dad to give you a Valentine. We do veer slightly onto romance a few times, but Gill accuses Big Champagne of just tricking us into doing The Sex, and we decide the huge pressure that comes with Valentine's Day romance isn't really worth it. We also have a lovely chat about punting (not a euphemism), Isaac Newton's cats, and why Jo can't swim, before we plan our perfect romantic outing together, in which no men feature at all, just us and our pets.
