The main reason why most of us are afraid of being alone is that we will have to spend time with our thoughts, and in addition, we will have to face our demons. We rarely realize that being alone is also an opportunity to learn to love ourselves, be aware of what we want and need in our lives and build boundaries based on that. When we do that, we will be better positioned to start a new relationship and in peace, if we decide to stay alone. Tune in and find out what are the benefits of daring the be alone. Let's get into it:   Timestamps Why we need to learn to live without guilt [00:03:00]  What happens when we decide to be alone [00:06:00]  How I learned to face my demons [00:09:00]  Why finding self-love is essential [00:12:00] The importance of changing our mindset to redirect our thoughts [00:15:00]    Links Book: Kamal Ravikant - Love Yourself Like Your Life Depends on It  15-Minute Clarity Call https://msgsndr.com/widget/booking?calendar=kcpWfO0ij7Aq2u4TzFEk My book: The Jelly Bean Jar - Empowering Independence through Divorce https://tanyasomerton.com/shop/the-jelly-bean-jar/ Join my Free Facebook Group here: https://www.facebook.com/groups/divorceangel/ Divorce Roadmap Session: https://tanyasomerton.com/divorce-roadmap/See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Many of us are looking for a new life; we are looking to change everything around us, and for some reason, we can't. One of those reasons might be the fear of the unknown, and it is understandable. Our brain's main task is to keep us alive, and everything new looks dangerous; familiar environments feel safe, so our brain will try to keep us there as long as possible.  In this episode, we will talk about how to discover a new side of ourselves. We will learn how important it is to let go of control to grow and thrive. Let's get into it:   Timestamps How I started my journey of rediscovering myself [00:03:00]  The different types of divorced people [00:06:00]  What control can do to us [00:09:00] About my curious nature and where it led me [00:12:00]  One of my first dives. A life-changing experience [00:15:00]  How losing control open all kind of doors to me [00:18:00]    Links 15-Minute Clarity Call https://msgsndr.com/widget/booking?calendar=kcpWfO0ij7Aq2u4TzFEk My book: The Jelly Bean Jar - Empowering Independence through Divorce https://tanyasomerton.com/shop/the-jelly-bean-jar/ Join my Free Facebook Group here: https://www.facebook.com/groups/divorceangel/ Divorce Roadmap Session: https://tanyasomerton.com/divorce-roadmap/See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

The way we respond to what happens to us depends on how we were moulded to be. The tools we have available are either the ones we got from our parents or those we picked up along the way. But what if those tools are not the ones we need to be who we really are meant to be? How can we build something that can't be made with the tools we have?  In this episode, we will understand who we are, why we behave the way we do, and the best way of changing that and rediscovering who we are meant to be.  Let's get into it:   Timestamps How we start getting moulded in our childhood [00:03:00] We get to colour our book with the pencils we were given [00:06:00]  What makes us feel complete [00:09:00]  Realizing that we must stop repeating our habits [00:12:00]  Wearing the brightest clothes [00:15:00]  We must stop telling ourselves we are not good enough [00:18:00]    Links 15-Minute Clarity Call https://msgsndr.com/widget/booking?calendar=kcpWfO0ij7Aq2u4TzFEk My book: The Jelly Bean Jar - Empowering Independence through Divorce https://tanyasomerton.com/shop/the-jelly-bean-jar/ Join my Free Facebook Group here: https://www.facebook.com/groups/divorceangel/ Divorce Roadmap Session: https://tanyasomerton.com/divorce-roadmap/See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Choosing the right person for advice during our divorce could be the difference between having an amicable separation or living a nightmare.  In this episode, we will talk about who we seek advice from when going through a divorce. We will talk about why we should avoid listening to people who are not in the place we want to go or those who never went through a similar situation in their lives.  Let's get into it:   Timestamps Why some people make the mistake of offering help even when they can't help much [00:03:00]  What should someone who wants to help do when asked for advice [00:06:00]  Why contacting a professional can offer a whole different perspective [00:09:00]  What is the agenda of those helping us? [00:11:00]    Links 15-Minute Clarity Call https://msgsndr.com/widget/booking?calendar=kcpWfO0ij7Aq2u4TzFEk My book: The Jelly Bean Jar - Empowering Independence through Divorce https://tanyasomerton.com/shop/the-jelly-bean-jar/ Join my Free Facebook Group here: https://www.facebook.com/groups/divorceangel/ Divorce Roadmap Session: https://tanyasomerton.com/divorce-roadmap/See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

It might happen that our ex-spouse did or said something that hurt us, and even after some time, we can't get over it. And we might even be in our right of feeling wounded but, if we don't let it go and learn to forgive, we'll stay trapped in anger or resentment. The thing is, whatever we think or feel about others is a reflection of how we think of ourselves. That is why it is massively important to learn to like ourselves.  In this episode, we will talk about the secret of becoming lovable again, letting go of what is hurting us, and learning to like ourselves.    Let's get into it: My experience living in a place of bitterness and anguish [00:03:00]  What happens when we stop trusting ourselves [00:06:00]  Why we shouldn't worry about filling somebody else's expectations about us [00:09:00] The importance of controlling the negative narrative in our heads [00:10:00]   Links 15-Minute Clarity Call https://msgsndr.com/widget/booking?calendar=kcpWfO0ij7Aq2u4TzFEk My book: The Jelly Bean Jar - Empowering Independence through Divorce https://tanyasomerton.com/shop/the-jelly-bean-jar/ Join my Free Facebook Group here: https://www.facebook.com/groups/divorceangel/ Divorce Roadmap Session: https://tanyasomerton.com/divorce-roadmap/See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

When someone asks us how are we doing, we usually answer everything is okay, even when it is not. For whatever reason, we tend to hide our feelings, not accepting them, denying them, in a way.  In this episode, we will talk about the effects that practice can have on our lives and, most importantly, our future. I want to invite you to know the benefits of walking through your feelings.  Let's get into it:   Timestamps Not everyone gets through a divorce in the same way [00:03:00]   Why we tend to hide our feelings from people [00:06:00] What happens when we get stuck in what could've done different [00:09:00]  My mother's lesson about love and the jellybeans jar [00:12:00]  The questions we need to ask ourselves [00:15:00]  It's okay to let go [00:18:00]   Links 15-Minute Clarity Call https://msgsndr.com/widget/booking?calendar=kcpWfO0ij7Aq2u4TzFEk My book: The Jelly Bean Jar - Empowering Independence through Divorce https://tanyasomerton.com/shop/the-jelly-bean-jar/ Join my Free Facebook Group here: https://www.facebook.com/groups/divorceangel/ Divorce Roadmap Session: https://tanyasomerton.com/divorce-roadmap/ Book: David R. Hawkins - Letting Go: The Pathway of SurrenderSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Letting go when we are going throw a divorce is perhaps one of its most complex parts. And not only let go of assets and lifestyle but also people. It is a painful process, and it is entirely normal to feel sad, and it is perfectly understandable to mourn all our losses. But we need to be careful of not getting stuck in that mourning; we need to learn how to move from that place.  In this episode, we will discuss the importance of giving ourselves time to mourn and a deadline to stop doing it.  Let's get into it:   Timestamps: A few of my ex-husband's stories [4:59] How it was for me the internal growth process [6:09] What are the things that hold us back [9:03] The rewards we get and what they are valuable for us [11:08] The incredible story of the women that acted as a connector between two families [14:38]   Links Restore Me - Waiting List https://www.tanyasomerton.com/RMWaitList 15-Minute Clarity Call https://msgsndr.com/widget/booking?calendar=kcpWfO0ij7Aq2u4TzFEk My book: The Jelly Bean Jar - Empowering Independence through Divorce https://tanyasomerton.com/shop/the-jelly-bean-jar/ Join my Free Facebook Group here: https://www.facebook.com/groups/divorceangel/ Divorce Roadmap Session: https://tanyasomerton.com/divorce-roadmap/See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Wanting always more and working hard to get better is a worthy journey all of us should embark on. But sometimes, it can be a dangerous trip; we might get too attached to an outcome. Attachment can be tricky; it can cloud our judgement and make us get stuck. It can also happen with people; we might get too emotionally attached to someone, which is never the best option.  In this episode, we will talk about how helpful it is to let go and ground the construction of our happiness in ourselves, not on a determined outcome or person.  Let's get into it:   Timestamps Making big decisions based on our happiness [00:03:00]  All of us can find happiness [00:06:00]  Attachment is what causes most of our problems [00:09:00]  The expectations of what we think we should receive [00:12:00]  Appreciating each moment of our lives [00:15:00]   Links Book: David R. Hawkins - Letting Go: The Pathway of Surrender Restore Me - Waiting List https://www.tanyasomerton.com/RMWaitList 15-Minute Clarity Call https://msgsndr.com/widget/booking?calendar=kcpWfO0ij7Aq2u4TzFEk My book: The Jelly Bean Jar - Empowering Independence through Divorce https://tanyasomerton.com/shop/the-jelly-bean-jar/ Join my Free Facebook Group here: https://www.facebook.com/groups/divorceangel/ Divorce Roadmap Session: https://tanyasomerton.com/divorce-roadmap/See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

One of the things I see many clients struggle with and something I've struggled with myself during my divorce is the fear of losing status. The car we drive, the school our kids attend, our lifestyle, in general, might be unsustainable by our own means after the divorce. The fear of losing all that might make us prolong a relationship that is already over, causing us extreme pain.  In this episode, we will talk about why taking that decision is so painful and what we can expect once we decide to shape our future. Let's get into it:   Timestamps Losing status never looks good at the beginning [00:03:00]  A little story about how my status "changed" right now [00:06:00]  What an old car can show us about ourselves [00:09:00]  The void of keeping our status regardless of our unhappiness [00:12:00]  All of us have a choice to make [00:15:00]    Links Restore Me - Waiting List https://www.tanyasomerton.com/RMWaitList 15-Minute Clarity Call https://msgsndr.com/widget/booking?calendar=kcpWfO0ij7Aq2u4TzFEk My book: The Jelly Bean Jar - Empowering Independence through Divorce https://tanyasomerton.com/shop/the-jelly-bean-jar/ Join my Free Facebook Group here: https://www.facebook.com/groups/divorceangel/ Divorce Roadmap Session: https://tanyasomerton.com/divorce-roadmap/See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

When we think about the story of our divorce, we need to understand that in most cases is much more than what we believe, think, or feel that happened and ended our marriage. Those stories could be a prison and what holds us back and won't let us move forward.  And some stories might be sayings from our parents or siblings when we were growing up, and we carry them around as truths without questioning them. In today's episode, we will talk about how our stories can hold us back and keep us as hostages.  Let's get into it:   Timestamps The effect of happiness in our lives [00:03:00] Some of the stories I carried for years about money [00:06:00]  What going through the emotions of our divorce can do to us [00:09:00]  You can start your new life tomorrow [00:12:00]    Links    Restore Me - Waiting List https://www.tanyasomerton.com/RMWaitList 15-Minute Clarity Call https://msgsndr.com/widget/booking?calendar=kcpWfO0ij7Aq2u4TzFEk My book: The Jelly Bean Jar - Empowering Independence through Divorce https://tanyasomerton.com/shop/the-jelly-bean-jar/ Join my Free Facebook Group here: https://www.facebook.com/groups/divorceangel/ Divorce Roadmap Session: https://tanyasomerton.com/divorce-roadmap/See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

In many situations, fear can keep us alive or give us the strength necessary to overcome specific challenges. It is an instinctive reaction that kept alive our ancestors for generations. But what happens when we get stuck in fear? What is the result of being incapable of reacting because of fear?  Sometimes we are so scared that we can't do any of the things we are supposed to do. We get trapped in inaction, which can be both costly and dangerous.  In this episode, I want to talk about fear and being scared. Being afraid is not a problem; we must be aware of what we do with that fear.  Let's get into it:   Timestamps What I've achieved so far and how it can help you [00:03:00]  We are responsible for our own happiness [00:06:00]  An example of how things can be different in our lives [00:09:00]  The things we carry from one relationship to the next [00:12:00]  Why we should have a strategy of our next steps [00:14:00]   Links    Restore Me - Waiting List https://www.tanyasomerton.com/RMWaitList 15-Minute Clarity Call https://msgsndr.com/widget/booking?calendar=kcpWfO0ij7Aq2u4TzFEk My book: The Jelly Bean Jar - Empowering Independence through Divorce https://tanyasomerton.com/shop/the-jelly-bean-jar/ Join my Free Facebook Group here: https://www.facebook.com/groups/divorceangel/ Divorce Roadmap Session: https://tanyasomerton.com/divorce-roadmap/See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Whether we are in the process of divorce or starting with our separation, communication is a crucial element that can influence the outcome we will get. That is why when we communicate with our ex or soon to be ex, especially in documented channels like text messages, emails, or letters, we need to stick to the facts and let our emotions aside.     In this episode, I will discuss the importance of being mindful about what and how we communicate and how this ability can make you bulletproof.   Lets' get into it:   Timestamps The roles we play when getting into a relationship [00:03:00]  A letter to the ex-partner that could've started a war [00:06:00]  Keeping the communication sharp and short [00:09:00] When the content is more prominent, there is more room for misinterpretation [00:11:00]    Links   Restore Me - Waiting List https://www.tanyasomerton.com/RMWaitList   15-Minute Clarity Call https://msgsndr.com/widget/booking?calendar=kcpWfO0ij7Aq2u4TzFEk   My book: The Jelly Bean Jar - Empowering Independence through Divorce https://tanyasomerton.com/shop/the-jelly-bean-jar/   Join my Free Facebook Group here: https://www.facebook.com/groups/divorceangel/   Divorce Roadmap Session: https://tanyasomerton.com/divorce-roadmap/See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

In today's episode, we will discuss the Restore Me program's third pillar: reclaim you. Despite thinking that our anguish, fear, uncertainty, or any negative feeling we are having is someone else's responsibility, it is not.  In this episode, I will demonstrate to you that you have the power to change any negative emotion. I will explain to you how to become bulletproof to any negativeness you receive from anyone.  Let's get into it:   Timestamps The false belief that we can't change our fate [00:03:00]  Our thoughts vibrate [00:06:00]  We mirror what we feel [00:09:00]  The stories we tell ourselves [00:12:00] We don't need to be that person that feels exhausted [00:15:00]  The importance of changing the context of our lives [00:18:00]    Links Restore Me - Waiting List https://www.tanyasomerton.com/RMWaitList 15-Minute Clarity Call https://msgsndr.com/widget/booking?calendar=kcpWfO0ij7Aq2u4TzFEk My book: The Jelly Bean Jar - Empowering Independence through Divorce https://tanyasomerton.com/shop/the-jelly-bean-jar/ Join my Free Facebook Group here: https://www.facebook.com/groups/divorceangel/ Divorce Roadmap Session: https://tanyasomerton.com/divorce-roadmap/See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Last week we talked about the first of three pillars of the Restore Me program, rewriting your life. This week, we will talk about the second of those three pillars, reconnect.  When we are going through a divorce, many of us fear what will happen after the separation. Who will love us again, how are we going to rebuild our lives, how is our financial life going to be? In this episode, we will talk about how reconnecting with ourselves, with our values and beliefs, can help us answer these questions and quickly put this fear out of our system. Let's get into it:   Timestamps What most people miss about the reconnect part [00:03:00]  The moment the pain starts to decrease [00:06:00]  What is the best way to rebuild? [00:09:00]  Practical exercise - Name what you feel [00:12:00]  What a life lover would do [00:15:00]  Why do we speak to ourselves in a way we don't talk to others? [00:18:00]    Links Restore Me Program https://divorceangel.vipmembervault.com/products/courses/view/1051502 15-Minute Clarity Call https://msgsndr.com/widget/booking?calendar=kcpWfO0ij7Aq2u4TzFEk My book: The Jelly Bean Jar - Empowering Independence through Divorce https://tanyasomerton.com/shop/the-jelly-bean-jar/ Join my Free Facebook Group here: https://www.facebook.com/groups/divorceangel/ Divorce Roadmap Session: https://tanyasomerton.com/divorce-roadmap/See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

We grew up listening to our parents and people around us that we need to care for everyone else before caring about ourselves. And the intention of that teaching is noble, but most of us got it all wrong. We care too much for others, and we end up relegating ourselves. The truth is we can still care about others, but we must love ourselves first. In fact, we can positively affect the people around us if we come from a place of love and acceptance of ourselves.  Tune in and understand what I mean when I say that being selfish makes you selfless. Let's get into it:   Timestamps What happens when we don't put ourselves first [00:03:00]  When love to ourselves becomes natural [00:06:00]  The start of rewriting ourselves [00:09:00]  We need to learn to love ourselves [00:12:00] Little things can mean the world to others [00:15:00]    Links Restore Me Program https://divorceangel.vipmembervault.com/products/courses/view/1051502 15-Minute Clarity Call https://msgsndr.com/widget/booking?calendar=kcpWfO0ij7Aq2u4TzFEk My book: The Jelly Bean Jar - Empowering Independence through Divorce https://tanyasomerton.com/shop/the-jelly-bean-jar/ Join my Free Facebook Group here: https://www.facebook.com/groups/divorceangel/ Divorce Roadmap Session: https://tanyasomerton.com/divorce-roadmap/See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

The kind of person we are today is in part thanks to how we deal with our problems and concerns. Being worried, fearful, or even hurt for extended periods changes us. When we try to hide them, ignore them, or shut them down watching Netflix, that is a momentaneous solution, but not definitive.   In today's episode, I want to talk about what it means to carry negative emotions, and I will show you a flawless technique to help you let go of negative emotions.  Let's get into it:   Timestamps When we have a blockage [00:03:00]  What does it feel like to have negative emotions [00:06:00]  The reservoir of feelings and beliefs we carry around [00:09:00]  External factors that affect us [00:12:00]  How changing the context will help us [00:16:00]  Being grateful is the key [00:19:00]    Links  15-Minute Clarity Call https://msgsndr.com/widget/booking?calendar=kcpWfO0ij7Aq2u4TzFEk My book: The Jelly Bean Jar - Empowering Independence through Divorce https://tanyasomerton.com/shop/the-jelly-bean-jar/ Join my Free Facebook Group here: https://www.facebook.com/groups/divorceangel/ Divorce Roadmap Session: https://tanyasomerton.com/divorce-roadmap/See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

The effect of getting a divorce goes further than your family. It affects the entire circle of affection that surrounds you. This includes the extended family and your friends. At some point, you will start wondering what to say to them, how they will take it, what they will think about you, and your spouse.  Even when this concern is common and legitimate, your primary focus should be your mental and emotional health, and your kids', if you have them. Tune in and find out what should you say to your friends about your separation. Let's get into it   Timestamps What should you say to others about your separation? [00:03:00]  What people think when we communicate them about our separation [00:06:00] We cannot control what other people say or think [00:09:00] Explaining our decision [00:12:00]  Asking ourselves what we want to share and what not [00:15:00]    Links  15-Minute Clarity Call https://msgsndr.com/widget/booking?calendar=kcpWfO0ij7Aq2u4TzFEk My book: The Jelly Bean Jar - Empowering Independence through Divorce https://tanyasomerton.com/shop/the-jelly-bean-jar/ Join my Free Facebook Group here: https://www.facebook.com/groups/divorceangel/ Divorce Roadmap Session: https://tanyasomerton.com/divorce-roadmap/See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Many times, divorce is the tree that won't let us see the wood. We tend to act based on our emotions, and when that happens, we usually make the wrong choice. It is perhaps one of the hardest things to do, but we need to focus on making changes in the context of our lives.  A simple way to put it would be, we need to make decisions today that our future self will thank us we did. In this episode, we will unravel the reasons why separation is a time of confusion. Let's get into it   Timestamps What happens when we don't change our context [00:03:00]  Making our best to avoid repeating errors from the past [00:07:00]  The pot of gold at the end of the rainbow [00:11:00]  What happens when we have vision and certainty [00:14:00]  We can change our context at any age [00:17:00]    Links  15-Minute Clarity Call https://msgsndr.com/widget/booking?calendar=kcpWfO0ij7Aq2u4TzFEk My book: The Jelly Bean Jar - Empowering Independence through Divorce https://tanyasomerton.com/shop/the-jelly-bean-jar/ Join my Free Facebook Group here: https://www.facebook.com/groups/divorceangel/ Divorce Roadmap Session: https://tanyasomerton.com/divorce-roadmap/See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Why do we feel affected by the words someone says to us? What makes us feel bad? Is it their words or what puts us down really perhaps is in what we make those words to signify? I've learned a simple system to defuse that mechanism that makes us feel sad, low, vulnerable, not good enough, enabled. In this episode, we will talk about this simple yet effective method to be truthful to yourself and achieve great things. Let's get into it:   Timestamps Lawyers and solicitors and their missions [00:02:00]  My previous marriage was a competition [00:04:00]  The importance of feeling good with ourselves [00:06:00]  The power of our interpretations [00:09:00]  How evil thoughts affect us [00:12:00]  Our stories and beliefs [00:15:00]  You need a different perspective [00:18:00]  Looking back at the facts [00:21:00] The master thought formula [00:24:00]    Links  15-Minute Clarity Call https://msgsndr.com/widget/booking?calendar=kcpWfO0ij7Aq2u4TzFEk My book: The Jelly Bean Jar - Empowering Independence through Divorce https://tanyasomerton.com/shop/the-jelly-bean-jar/ Join my Free Facebook Group here: https://www.facebook.com/groups/divorceangel/ Divorce Roadmap Session: https://tanyasomerton.com/divorce-roadmap/See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

The moment we must deal with our divorce or separation, the first thought that comes to our minds is that we failed. We might think that we lost at the game of life because our marriage didn't work out. But as we said before, the end of our marriage can be the beginning of a new life. It is the new chapter of a new life, we only need to embrace it.  Once we go through the darkest parts of the divorce and emerge victorious at the other side of the tunnel, we will understand that it was all meant to happen this way.  Let's get into it:   Timestamps How I see divorce vs how lawyers do [00:02:00]  Mixed emotions during a divorce [00:04:00]  The old me compared to the new me [00:06:00]  What is our purpose? [00:08:00] It is not about winning or losing [00:10:00]  How I struggled during my divorce [00:12:00] You'll love the lessons you've learnt from this [00:14:00]    Links  15-Minute Clarity Call https://msgsndr.com/widget/booking?calendar=kcpWfO0ij7Aq2u4TzFEk My book: The Jelly Bean Jar - Empowering Independence through Divorce https://tanyasomerton.com/shop/the-jelly-bean-jar/ Join my Free Facebook Group here: https://www.facebook.com/groups/divorceangel/ Divorce Roadmap Session: https://tanyasomerton.com/divorce-roadmap/See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

When we go through our divorce, we feel our life has been shattered to pieces. Life hit us with a hammer, and we see parts spread all over the place. Our family home, our family traditions, maybe our businesses, our feeling of safety, and everything seems to be reduced to tiny pieces.  Divorce is definitely the end of many things in our lives but by no means is the end of our lives, it is very beginning. From rebuilding, repairing, and putting together those pieces, we start the new chapter of our lives. In this episode, the Art of Kintsugi helps me explain how to heal from connection and not from perfection. Let's get into it   Timestamps The underlying message of these hundred episodes [00:02:00]  The Japanese Art of Kintsugi [00:04:00] Picking up the pieces of our life [00:06:00] My intention towards my clients [00:08:00]  The things I went through made me who I am [00:10:00]  When we are sincere with ourselves [00:12:00]  The real me [00:14:00]    Links  The Art of Kintsugi 15-Minute Clarity Call https://msgsndr.com/widget/booking?calendar=kcpWfO0ij7Aq2u4TzFEk My book: The Jelly Bean Jar - Empowering Independence through Divorce https://tanyasomerton.com/shop/the-jelly-bean-jar/ Join my Free Facebook Group here: https://www.facebook.com/groups/divorceangel/ Divorce Roadmap Session: https://tanyasomerton.com/divorce-roadmap/See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

The week of Christmas is full of happiness and in most cases, is when family traditions flourish. But Christmas can also be challenging if it is the first we spend separated or divorced. We will remember every nice moment from our previous life, and we can go through rough times.  In this episode, I want to talk about how to deal and get over those difficult moments. We need to focus on not being hard on ourselves, and perhaps creating new traditions. I'm convinced that you need to go back to loving yourself and happiness will flow.  Let's get into it:   Timestamps Sometimes it is easier to stay [00:02:00]  My family's traditions changing in front of me [00:04:00]  Memories assaulting us [00:06:00]  Feeling sad is not wrong, don't be harsh on yourself [00:08:00]  The importance of putting ourselves first [00:10:00]  Our ex trying to trigger us [00:12:00]  This time of the year finds us tired [00:14:00]  The Opposite Day technique [00:16:00]  Going back to love ourselves [00:18:00]    Links 15-Minute Clarity Call https://msgsndr.com/widget/booking?calendar=kcpWfO0ij7Aq2u4TzFEk My book: The Jelly Bean Jar - Empowering Independence through Divorce https://tanyasomerton.com/shop/the-jelly-bean-jar/ Join my Free Facebook Group here: https://www.facebook.com/groups/divorceangel/ Divorce Roadmap Session: https://tanyasomerton.com/divorce-roadmap/See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

It takes time and courage to identify what's hurting us in our life. It could be our environment, our partner, the lifestyle we've imposed ourselves to have, and many other things. After we identify them, it takes even more courage to step away from those things that hurt us.  But, in many cases, leaving, or putting distance between us and what hurt us is not enough. There's something else we need to change to reach happiness, our context. In today's episode, I want to talk to you a little bit more about content and context, and why your failed marriage is keeping you trapped.  Let's get into it:   Timestamps What is hard for me might be not hard for you [00:01:00]  Your habits keep you trapped [00:04:00]  When we tell excuses to ourselves [00:06:00]  Leaving what makes you unhappy, is a solution? [00:09:00]  Changing the content but not the context [00:11:00]  Having clarity and vision of what you want for your future [00:13:00]    Links Listen to my latest episodes Episode #96 You Are A Gift In The Making Episode #97 A Letter To You 15-Minute Clarity Call https://msgsndr.com/widget/booking?calendar=kcpWfO0ij7Aq2u4TzFEk My book: The Jelly Bean Jar - Empowering Independence through Divorce https://tanyasomerton.com/shop/the-jelly-bean-jar/ Join my Free Facebook Group here: https://www.facebook.com/groups/divorceangel/ Divorce Roadmap Session: https://tanyasomerton.com/divorce-roadmap/See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

A few days ago, a close friend of mine was struggling, and I wanted to help her. Someone suggested I write a letter to her from herself. Writing the letter, I've realized that I was answering some questions I ask in my Divorce Roadmap to my clients, and I thought it would be great sharing the experience with you.  In today's episode, I'll share with you the three questions you must ask yourself, and that if you manage to answer, they'll change your life overnight.  Let's get into it:   Timestamps: The feeling of not knowing what'll happen next [00:02:00]  A letter to you [00:04:00] Doing what we think we should do [00:06:00]  The key to your happiness [00:08:00]  Putting everyone before ourselves [00:10:00]  Don't be a taker [00:12:00] The questions you need to ask yourself [00:14:00]    Links 15-Minute Clarity Call https://msgsndr.com/widget/booking?calendar=kcpWfO0ij7Aq2u4TzFEk My book: The Jelly Bean Jar - Empowering Independence through Divorce https://tanyasomerton.com/shop/the-jelly-bean-jar/ Join my Free Facebook Group here: https://www.facebook.com/groups/divorceangel/ Divorce Roadmap Session: https://tanyasomerton.com/divorce-roadmap/See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Sometimes people tell us things that can dig deep in our unconscious thoughts. Perhaps they are trying to help us, and still, the effect is the opposite; we start doubting ourselves, we start second-guessing every decision. And every difficult moment we sort out in our separation process has several effects on us; they make us grow, they teach us, and they transform us. That's why it is vital we trust ourselves at all times.  Today's episode is about being aware of the content and the context of our past and future relationships to understand what's the best path into our evolution. After all the hard work you'll go through, you'll find out that you are a gift in the making.  Let's get into it:   Timestamps Looking a little bit deeper at what you see in the mirror [00:02:00]  Short recap about context and content [00:04:00]  When you lose self-confidence [00:06:00]  Living in autopilot [00:08:00]  Behaving in the way we want to be treated [00:10:00]  Learning about ourselves [00:12:00] The evolution of YOU [00:14:00]  People that stood up and their results [00:16:00]    Links Listen to my previous episode: Episode #95 - It's Not Your Fault 15-Minute Clarity Call https://msgsndr.com/widget/booking?calendar=kcpWfO0ij7Aq2u4TzFEk My book: The Jelly Bean Jar - Empowering Independence through Divorce https://tanyasomerton.com/shop/the-jelly-bean-jar/ Join my Free Facebook Group here: https://www.facebook.com/groups/divorceangel/ Divorce Roadmap Session: https://tanyasomerton.com/divorce-roadmap/See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

After we go through a process of separation or divorce, it's common to spend a lot of time alone with our thoughts. Trying to find the answer to why it happened is inevitable. And almost every time, we tend to think things like, "I should've done this or that differently" or "I shouldn't have said that," and so forth. We tend to feel guilty about what happened. What we don't know is that those feelings of guilt might be the product of the stories we carry with us. Things that someone told us one or thousands of times. We make those stories real. In this episode, I will share with you a few principles of my latest program Restore Me, and I will explain to you why it's not your fault.  Let's get into it:   Timestamps A bit of my constant effort to evolve as a person [00:02:00] The million-dollar question, where do I start? [00:04:00]  Our environment and other people's opinions [00:06:00]  How our stories impact us [00:08:00]  The dangers of living on autopilot [00:10:00]  Changing your context to change your life [00:12:00] Following the wrong advise and its consequences [00:14:00]    Links   15-Minute Clarity Call https://msgsndr.com/widget/booking?calendar=kcpWfO0ij7Aq2u4TzFEk My book: The Jelly Bean Jar - Empowering Independence through Divorce https://tanyasomerton.com/shop/the-jelly-bean-jar/ Join my Free Facebook Group here: https://www.facebook.com/groups/divorceangel/ Divorce Roadmap Session: https://tanyasomerton.com/divorce-roadmap/See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

As promised last week, today's episode is the second sample of the audios I've recorded for the Restore Me program. In this occasion, we will talk about anger. Anger, and what makes us get mad is related to our identity and the stories we tell ourselves. If someone tells or does something that makes you angry, is that what makes you angry, or is the meaning you're giving to those words or actions what upset you?  In this episode, I want to help you discover what meaning are you giving to anger. Let's get into it:   Timestamps Our habits and choices [00:02:00]  The simple definition of unhappiness [00:04:00] What we need to ask ourselves when we get mad [00:06:00] What we feel and what we think when we get angry [00:08:00] The meaning we give to things [00:10:00]  Stories we tell ourselves [00:12:00] From point A to point B [00:14:00]  What can we create from negativity [00:17:00]  What's the most empowering story I can tell myself? [00:19:00] Our self-integrity at stake? [00:21:00]   A powerful identity [00:23:00]    Links 15-Minute Clarity Call https://msgsndr.com/widget/booking?calendar=kcpWfO0ij7Aq2u4TzFEk My book: The Jelly Bean Jar - Empowering Independence through Divorce https://tanyasomerton.com/shop/the-jelly-bean-jar/ Join my Free Facebook Group here: https://www.facebook.com/groups/divorceangel/ Divorce Roadmap Session: https://tanyasomerton.com/divorce-roadmap/See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

I've decided to do something special for this and the next week's podcast. It's a sample of Restore ME, a program I've put together to help people get out of the baggage that their relationship had allowed them to transfer into their next life. This week's snippet of the program is about the stories we tell ourselves and how they affect our present and our future.  Whatever you have in life is a direct result of your stories, and I can explain how and why. Let's get into it:   Timestamps Getting rid of the crap from previous relationships [00:02:00]  A lightbulb moment [00:04:00]  Repeating a story in our heads [00:06:00]  The result of the stories we tell ourselves [00:09:00]  Changing our stories [00:11:00]  Feeling trapped in our stories [00:13:00]  The things that make us angry [00:15:00]    Links 15-Minute Clarity Call https://msgsndr.com/widget/booking?calendar=kcpWfO0ij7Aq2u4TzFEk My book: The Jelly Bean Jar - Empowering Independence through Divorce https://tanyasomerton.com/shop/the-jelly-bean-jar/ Join my Free Facebook Group here: https://www.facebook.com/groups/divorceangel/ Divorce Roadmap Session: https://tanyasomerton.com/divorce-roadmap/See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Deciding on getting a divorce might be a process that lasts a couple of years. Perhaps we feel in our gut that something is not right; still we choose to ignore that feeling. And then, after all that work, the inner growth, the pain of making such a hard call, the challenging part begins, where to start?  In this episode, I want to help you take the first steps into self-alignment and the beginning of the most challenging part of getting a divorce.  Let's get into it!   Timestamps The time we take to decide to leave our marriage [00:01:00]  Nobody wants to go to war [00:03:00]  Acting outside of our character and its consequences [00:05:00]  Coming into a solution that works for both of you [00:07:00]  What is self-alignment? [00:09:00]  What is missing to make you thrive? [00:11:00]  Ignoring your gut or accessing your intuition [00:13:00]  What are your values [00:15:00]  Divorce is like the key in the engine [00:17:00]   Links 15-Minute Clarity Call https://msgsndr.com/widget/booking?calendar=kcpWfO0ij7Aq2u4TzFEk My book: The Jelly Bean Jar - Empowering Independence through Divorce https://tanyasomerton.com/shop/the-jelly-bean-jar/ Join my Free Facebook Group here: https://www.facebook.com/groups/divorceangel/ Divorce Roadmap Session: https://tanyasomerton.com/divorce-roadmap/See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

It is funny what happens with bravery. We tend to think that there are only two possibilities, brave or coward. The truth is we can teach ourselves to be brave; we can make our bravery grow the same way we grow our muscles in the gym. It is possible to learn from every backlash we suffer in our lives and use that experience to feed our courage. In this episode, we talk about courage, and I will explain what I mean when I say that bravery comes in many forms. Let's get into it   Timestamps You are brave, even if you feel you're not winning [00:01:00]  Putting steps in place [00:03:00]  The four types of courage [00:05:00]  Moral courage and me [00:07:00]  I'll stand up for you [00:09:00]  The body follows what the mind tells it [00:11:00]  Why it's vital to keep growing [00:13:00]  Intellectual courage [00:15:00]  You've got the courage [00:17:00]    Links 15-Minute Clarity Call https://msgsndr.com/widget/booking?calendar=kcpWfO0ij7Aq2u4TzFEk My book: The Jelly Bean Jar - Empowering Independence through Divorce https://tanyasomerton.com/shop/the-jelly-bean-jar/ Join my Free Facebook Group here: https://www.facebook.com/groups/divorceangel/ Divorce Roadmap Session: https://tanyasomerton.com/divorce-roadmap/See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

When we are dealing with divorces and the legal system, justice and fairness are not necessarily related. In some cases, especially those where abuse is involved, the judge's sentence could look like a mockery to the victim of that abuse. The point is that when we are going through the division of assets or calculating spousal support, the court won't ask who hurt who the most. In this episode, I want to share my clients' and my experience in court, and explain what I mean when I say 'the court doesn't care'.  Let's get into it:   Timestamps What we'll get in compensation for what we suffered [00:01:00]  What are judges and lawyers worried about [00:03:00]  The things we go through when divorcing [00:05:00]  When no one can help us [00:06:00]  Living according to fairness [00:07:00]   Links 15-Minute Clarity Call https://msgsndr.com/widget/booking?calendar=kcpWfO0ij7Aq2u4TzFEk My book: The Jelly Bean Jar - Empowering Independence through Divorce https://tanyasomerton.com/shop/the-jelly-bean-jar/ Join my Free Facebook Group here: https://www.facebook.com/groups/divorceangel/ Divorce Roadmap Session: https://tanyasomerton.com/divorce-roadmap/See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

When we were kids, our parents would tell us to do things not because we wanted, but because we were supposed to. They taught us to be aware of the other's feelings, and that might be the reason why we continuously seek for approval. There is nothing wrong with being mindful of the otherness of who is next to us; the problem starts when others' opinions affect our well-being. In this episode, I'll explain why caring what others think can be a deep black hole. Let's get into it:   Timestamps The way we grow putting others in front of us [00:01:00]  People you might need to declutter [00:03:00]  When our friends show their true colours [00:05:00]  The unexpected best friends [00:07:00]  Getting separated from the extended family [00:09:00]  Losing more than just friends [00:11:00]  You can still get along with your ex's family [00:13:00]    Links  Episode #88 - Declutter Your Life With A Happy Divorce  https://tanyasomerton.com/declutter-your-life-with-a-happy-divorce/ My book: The Jelly Bean Jar - Empowering Independence through Divorce https://tanyasomerton.com/shop/the-jelly-bean-jar/ Join my Free Facebook Group here: https://www.facebook.com/groups/divorceangel/ Divorce Roadmap Session: https://tanyasomerton.com/divorce-roadmap/See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Going throw a divorce might hijack our minds and take us to a place where we can't think clearly. It can be so overwhelming that I've seen people experiencing physical pain. I've even heard people saying that it felt like they were having their hearth pulled out of their chest. When I was going through my divorce, one of the advice that most helped me was that despite it hurts like hell; it will get better eventually. And it did, and I'm here to assure you the same, it might be hurting like hell, but it will get better.  Let's get into it   Timestamps I've been there [00:01:00]  The most stressful human experiences [00:03:00]  It will better over time [00:05:00]  The three different types of breakups [00:07:00]  Having the right team [00:09:00]  What you should do if you're hurting [00:11:00]   Links Episode #86 - Are You Happy With Who Is Staring Back In Your Reflection? https://tanyasomerton.com/are-you-happy-with-who-is-staring-back-in-your-reflection/ My book: The Jelly Bean Jar - Empowering Independence through Divorce https://tanyasomerton.com/shop/the-jelly-bean-jar/ Join my Free Facebook Group here: https://www.facebook.com/groups/divorceangel/ Divorce Roadmap Session: https://tanyasomerton.com/divorce-roadmap/See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

What if what makes us feel trapped are the things we are putting in our way. We may live according to someone else's expectations and don't realize that it is not what we need.  Is everything you have what you need? As we know, happiness comes from the inside. So what is the point of accumulating and be attached to objects? In this episode, I would like to show you how to declutter your life with a happy divorce.  Let's get into it:   Timestamps Happiness comes from inside [00:01:00] Objects that mean something to us [00:03:00]  Your lifestyle becomes a habit [00:05:00]  Why and how I've decided to change my life [00:07:00] Sometimes we can't get out of bed [00:09:00]  Getting out of my way [00:11:00]    Links 15-Minute Clarity Call https://msgsndr.com/widget/booking?calendar=kcpWfO0ij7Aq2u4TzFEk My book: The Jelly Bean Jar - Empowering Independence through Divorce https://tanyasomerton.com/shop/the-jelly-bean-jar/ Join my Free Facebook Group here: https://www.facebook.com/groups/divorceangel/ Divorce Roadmap Session: https://tanyasomerton.com/divorce-roadmap/See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Of course, there is no such thing as the perfect person. Even after a lot of personal growth and spiritual evolution, there are always things we can do better. And the main goal shouldn't be reaching perfection, but keep growing, facing our flaws and learning to forgive ourselves. We need to accept that it is okay if we are not perfect, and only when we dare to admit we were wrong and we want to create change in our lives, is when the real growth begins. In this episode, I'd like to ask you, are you happy with who is staring back in your reflection?   Let's get into it:   Timestamps One of my first discoveries [00:01:00]  It is okay not to be perfect [00:03:00]  Are you always late? [00:05:00]  The importance of learning to listen [00:07:00] My former relationship with money [00:09:00]  How I spend my money now [00:11:00]  Am I really on debt? [00:13:00]  How I deal with money pitfalls [00:15:00]  The moment I knew I had to leave [00:18:00]    Links 15-Minute Clarity Call https://msgsndr.com/widget/booking?calendar=kcpWfO0ij7Aq2u4TzFEk My book: The Jelly Bean Jar - Empowering Independence through Divorce https://tanyasomerton.com/shop/the-jelly-bean-jar/ Join my Free Facebook Group here: https://www.facebook.com/groups/divorceangel/ Divorce Roadmap Session: https://tanyasomerton.com/divorce-roadmap/See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Mostly linked with pain and affliction, tears have a negative reputation. Since we are little kids, almost every time we cried someone would shut it down, please, stop crying. As a result of that kind of reactions, we grow up tending to avoid shedding tears, in some cases hiding in the shadows to cry. Still, these beliefs couldn't be further from the truth. Research shows that the act of crying has a positive impact on the human body; it can even release endorphins. In this episode, I'll be glad to explain what I mean when I say that befriending your tears is a good thing.  Let's get into it:   Timestamps People in my life that never cried [00:01:00]  What does it mean when people don't cry? [00:04:00]  Why should you embrace crying? [00:06:00]  The feeling of someone having our back [00:08:00]  The white flag in the middle of an argument [00:10:00]  Some of the benefits of crying [00:12:00]    Links 15-Minute Clarity Call https://msgsndr.com/widget/booking?calendar=kcpWfO0ij7Aq2u4TzFEk My book: The Jelly Bean Jar - Empowering Independence through Divorce https://tanyasomerton.com/shop/the-jelly-bean-jar/ Join my Free Facebook Group here: https://www.facebook.com/groups/divorceangel/ Divorce Roadmap Session: https://tanyasomerton.com/divorce-roadmap/See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

From all the possible mistakes we can make when we go through a divorce, there is one almost everyone does. And that is trying to make money out of their divorce. Most people have their heart in the right place; still, they make a wrong assessment of how much they're entitled to from the division of their assets. The problem is that moved by greed or poor counselling, we can get into a war trying to get more than what we're entitled to, and we might end up losing what we were going to get in the first place. In this episode, I would like to explain why I believe that money comes from happiness, not from divorce.    Let's get into it: The importance of a divorce strategy [00:02:00] What we deserve might be not what we think [00:03:00]  Working hard for our money [00:05:00]  When there is a difference between what each one earns [00:07:00]  What do you wish for your partner? [00:09:00]  The consequences of fighting for what is rightfully ours [00:11:00]  Money comes to you [00:13:00]  The doors happiness can open [00:15:30]   Links 15-Minute Clarity Call https://msgsndr.com/widget/booking?calendar=kcpWfO0ij7Aq2u4TzFEk My book: The Jelly Bean Jar - Empowering Independence through Divorce https://tanyasomerton.com/shop/the-jelly-bean-jar/ Join my Free Facebook Group here: https://www.facebook.com/groups/divorceangel/ Divorce Roadmap Session: https://tanyasomerton.com/divorce-roadmap/See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

It can happen in our relationships; we think we are free, but we are not. Perhaps we are not physically held by someone or something, yet still we are not supposed to or allowed to say or think certain things. Freedom is a key that opens infinite doors; it stimulates our creativity. We are free when we can chase our happiness. However, we might have to pay a price for it, and this is how the question that names today's episode arises, how much are you prepared to pay for freedom? Let's get into it:   Timestamps Do you have freedom in your life? [00:01:00]  Be in control or controlled [00:03:00]  A shiver in my spine [00:05:00]  The reason why people have controlling behaviours [00:07:00]  The cost to pay for freedom [00:09:00]  For every action, there is a reaction [00:11:00]  The value I offer my clients [00:13:00]  Striving for freedom [00:15:00]  The greatest gift I've given myself [00:17:00]    Links  15-Minute Clarity Call https://msgsndr.com/widget/booking?calendar=kcpWfO0ij7Aq2u4TzFEk My book: The Jelly Bean Jar - Empowering Independence through Divorce https://tanyasomerton.com/shop/the-jelly-bean-jar/ Join my Free Facebook Group here: https://www.facebook.com/groups/divorceangel/ Divorce Roadmap Session: https://tanyasomerton.com/divorce-roadmap/See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Last week we talked about the five key reasons why divorce is so hard for most people. Even when every divorce is unique, those having a hard time are most likely struggling with one of those five. However, it is possible to handle each one of these situations and pay a low emotional and financial cost for our divorce. As promised last week, in this episode, I'll tell you what the best way to deal with these five reasons that make divorce so hard.  Let's get into it:   Timestamps A quick recap [00:00:30]  The price we pay for our assets [00:01:30] Keeping an asset for the wrong reasons [00:03:00] Why you need to master your frequency and your vibration [00:06:00] Getting over fear and having a wonderful life experience [00:07:30] How therapy sessions helped me [00:09:00] Assets versus liabilities, what works best for you? [00:10:30] Do your homework, don't act under emotions [00:12:00] Helping you find your identity [00:15:00] The importance of managing our emotions [00:18:00]   Links Divorce Angel - Episode #79 - Did You Know Your Life Is A Reflection Of You? https://tanyasomerton.com/did-you-know-your-life-is-a-reflection-of-you/ How To Tell Your Partner, You No Longer Want To Be Married. https://divorceangel.vipmembervault.com/products/courses/view/1022671 My book: The Jelly Bean Jar - Empowering Independence through Divorce https://tanyasomerton.com/shop/the-jelly-bean-jar/ Join my Free Facebook Group here: https://www.facebook.com/groups/divorceangel/ Divorce Roadmap Session: https://tanyasomerton.com/divorce-roadmap/See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

From what I've witnessed dealing with hundreds of divorces as a Divorce Angel, I believe that if there is someone to blame for divorce being so hard, it is ourselves. The critical element here is emotions; we make divorce so hard because of them. It is our emotions that will affect our decision-making process directly. Our feelings will probably force us into a wrong choice, and we might end up in a disadvantaged position if we follow them. In this episode, I would like to raise some questions to understand why does divorce have to be so hard?  Let's get into it:   Timestamps The demons we face during our divorce [00:02:30] Taking away the emotions [00:04:30] One of the reasons why divorce is so hard [00:07:00] The emotional cost [00:08:30] We know how to speak, but not all know how to communicate [00:10:00] How we build our identity [00:12:00] What is your identity? [00:14:00]   Links  My book: The Jelly Bean Jar - Empowering Independence through Divorce https://tanyasomerton.com/shop/the-jelly-bean-jar/ Join my Free Facebook Group here: https://www.facebook.com/groups/divorceangel/ Divorce Roadmap Session: https://tanyasomerton.com/divorce-roadmap/See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Every process we go through in life is an opportunity to grow and evolve. It doesn't matter if it is either negative or positive, as long as we are grateful we will manage to add value to our lives. It is the same with divorce. We can regret the time lost in a relationship that didn't work, or we can be grateful for what we lived and learnt during that marriage. In this episode, I would like to share with you the four blessings I received from my divorce.     Let's get into it   Timestamps Teaching my kids through the divorce [00:01:30] People under stress show their worst [00:04:00] When the needs and wants are not compatible [00:07:30] What I've learnt in my first marriage [00:09:00] The give and take relationship [00:12:00]  There has to be more than this [00:15:00]  I always felt a deeper calling [00:18:00]  What a real friend looks like [00:21:00] From a derelict old car to a brand new model [00:22:30]   Links  My book: The Jelly Bean Jar - Empowering Independence through Divorce https://tanyasomerton.com/shop/the-jelly-bean-jar/ Join my Free Facebook Group here: https://www.facebook.com/groups/divorceangel/ Divorce Roadmap Session: https://tanyasomerton.com/divorce-roadmap/See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

What we often attract is not what we wish, but is a repercussion of where we put our energy and our focus on. When we think about it, it is reasonable that if we are struggling financially, our attention will go to the lack of resources. The thing is that according to the law of attraction if we focus on what is missing, we will attract scarcity and repel abundance. The universe sends back what we send out to it; it's as simple as that. If we send out gratitude, kindness, compassion and love, what kind of life do you think we will have? Let's get into it:   Timestamps We are where we are supposed to be [00:01:30] The difference between knowing and understanding [00:03:00] Stopping negative thoughts for starters [00:04:30] The law of attraction [00:07:30] There is undoubtedly something to be grateful for [00:10:30] We tend to ignore what we already have [00:13:30] Creating consciousness of how lucky we are [00:16:30] We should get what we are entitled to, not more [00:19:30] Life can be scary sometimes [00:22:30]   Links My book: The Jelly Bean Jar - Empowering Independence through Divorce https://tanyasomerton.com/shop/the-jelly-bean-jar/ Join my Free Facebook Group here: https://www.facebook.com/groups/divorceangel/ Divorce Roadmap Session: https://tanyasomerton.com/divorce-roadmap/See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Communication is a crucial element of any human interaction, and of course, it is not different when we deal with divorce. It requires a set of skills more complicated than merely talking and listening. For instance, we feel triggered when someone says something, and maybe, what we understood wasn't what that person was trying to say. With the right guidance, it is possible to get to communicate effectively. In this episode, I will explain how effective communication grants a successful divorce.     Timestamps Most of us communicate the wrong way [00:01:30] What triggers us? [00:03:00] The rule of the six possible scenarios [00:06:00] What I hear is what you are saying? [00:07:30] How my communication skills evolved [00:09:30] Reading the body language [00:12:00] The art of mirroring [00:14:00] Looking deeply inside of us [00:18:00]   Links How To Tell Your Partner, You No Longer Want To Be Married. https://divorceangel.vipmembervault.com/products/courses/view/1022671 My book: The Jelly Bean Jar - Empowering Independence through Divorce https://tanyasomerton.com/shop/the-jelly-bean-jar/ Join my Free Facebook Group here: https://www.facebook.com/groups/divorceangel/ Divorce Roadmap Session: https://tanyasomerton.com/divorce-roadmap/See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

One of the first things we make clear when a client approaches us is to be positive about getting divorced. It is a huge decision, and we warranty there is no doubt about it before we start the engine of our support machinery. Still, what I've realized during the clarity call sessions, is that people's biggest struggle is not about getting a divorce or not, but how to do it. If you already decided you want to separate but don't know how to do it, this podcast episode is for you.     Let's get into it   Timestamps Is it possible to have a life of freedom, happiness, and love? [00:01:30] Have you explained to your partner, how do you feel? [00:03:00] 100% commitment [00:04:30] The seven alternatives [00:06:00] Why do you need to be sure about separation? [00:08:00] Security after divorce is everything [00:10:30] First steps into getting divorced [00:13:30] The importance of looking at the full facts [00:15:00] The biggest issue about getting divorced [00:18:00]   Links Podcast Episode #2 - When is the right time to leave my marriage? https://tanyasomerton.com/when-is-the-right-time-to-leave-my-marriage-2/   15 Min Clarity Call: https://msgsndr.com/widget/bookingcalendar=kcpWfO0ij7Aq2u4TzFEk Divorce Roadmap Session: https://tanyasomerton.com/divorce-roadmap/   Join my Free Facebook Group here: https://www.facebook.com/groups/divorceangel/See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

This week I received a beautiful email from a client who, helped with the tools and support we offered to her, managed to make a 180 degrees change in her life. I believe we can learn a lot from her story, from how she handled her divorce, and mainly, from the way she regained control of her life. Join me and enjoy Rachel's story, from Financial Whoa to Wonder.  Let's get into it:   Timestamps We want to feel safe [00:01:30] The lessons we need to learn [00:03:00 What we should avoid during divorce [00:04:30] The beginning of Rachel's story [00:06:00] The body talks [00:07:30] The beauty of this woman [00:09:00] Rachel's critical situation [00:12:00] The last straw [00:15:00] The first step into a new life [00:16:30] Some things never change [00:18:00] Rachel's email [00:19:00]   Links 15 Min Clarity Call: https://msgsndr.com/widget/bookingcalendar=kcpWfO0ij7Aq2u4TzFEk Divorce Roadmap Session: https://tanyasomerton.com/divorce-roadmap/ My book: The Jelly Bean Jar - Empowering Independence through Divorce https://tanyasomerton.com/shop/the-jelly-bean-jar/   Join my Free Facebook Group here: https://www.facebook.com/groups/divorceangel/ See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

After a tough couple of weeks, I've realized that even when life put us in dark places, there is something positive we can get from it. We might torture ourselves overthinking what would have happened if we acted differently, or how our life would be different if we hadn't chosen what we chose. Sometimes, the best choice is to shut all that chatter in our heads, connect with our feelings and be alone with our thoughts. Maybe in silence, we might listen to the answer we are looking. Let's get into it:   Timestamps The body talks, we should listen to it [00:01:30] The pressure goes up [00:03:00] I think I had experienced this feeling before [00:06:00]  One more pull [00:07:30] What I wrote in my diary [00:10:30]  Letting go of the heavy baggage [00:12:00] The message I've got [00:13:30]   Links 15 Min Clarity Call: https://msgsndr.com/widget/bookingcalendar=kcpWfO0ij7Aq2u4TzFEk Divorce Roadmap Session: https://tanyasomerton.com/divorce-roadmap/ My book: The Jelly Bean Jar - Empowering Independence through Divorce https://tanyasomerton.com/shop/the-jelly-bean-jar/ Join my Free Facebook Group here: https://www.facebook.com/groups/divorceangel/See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

The house we share with our partner at the moment of the separation has both a financial and emotional value. From an economic point of view, keeping it could look more accessible than it is; my experience showed me that numbers sometimes could be deceiving. But also, emotions will try to get a voice in this decision. We might feel inclined to keep it or get rid of it; it will depend on the happy or sad memories housed there. In this episode, I explain to the detail the elements we need to consider when deciding what to do with the family home at this difficult time.  Let's get into it   Timestamps A real bugbear [00:01:00] Is it possible to win at divorce? [00:03:00] Is not easy to give up on some things [00:06:00] Thinking twice before moving [00:09:00] Why is it important to get a legal document? [00:11:00] Can one partner take over the mortgage? [00:13:30] What happens if the house sells for less than the value of the mortgage?[00:16:30] The best way of moving on with your life [00:18:00]   Links  15 Min Clarity Call: https://msgsndr.com/widget/bookingcalendar=kcpWfO0ij7Aq2u4TzFEk Divorce Roadmap Session: https://tanyasomerton.com/divorce-roadmap/ My book: The Jelly Bean Jar - Empowering Independence through Divorce https://tanyasomerton.com/shop/the-jelly-bean-jar/ Join my Free Facebook Group here: https://www.facebook.com/groups/divorceangel/See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Regardless of the kind of marriage you had, a divorce can take you to dark, cold places. Even if it looks like you will stay in these places forever, you won't. Life, like everything on this planet, has its seasons. And every season is followed by the next one to maintain balance and keep the cycle of life flowing smoothly. So if right now you feel like your life looks a lot like a harsh winter, relax, spring is just one season away. Let's get into it   Timestamps Life's seasons [00:01:00] Knowing where are we going [00:04:30] Why are you here? How did you get here? [00:06:00] An opportunity to learn valuable lessons [00:07:30] The things that matter in life [00:09:00] You may need to hear this right NOW [00:10:30] The way we talk to ourselves [00:12:00]   Links My book: The Jelly Bean Jar - Empowering Independence through Divorce https://tanyasomerton.com/shop/the-jelly-bean-jar/ Join my Free Facebook Group here: https://www.facebook.com/groups/divorceangel/ Divorce Roadmap Session: https://tanyasomerton.com/divorce-roadmap/See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Getting out of the comfort zone is scary. We can't control what is happening, and we don't know what to expect. However, to be afraid is as understandable as necessary if we want to create change in our lives. If we decide to stay in the security of our safe spot, the prize we will pay is too high. It is a cost that someone going through a divorce can't afford to pay. That is why we need to embrace the fear of defying our limits and push our boundaries daily. Then one day, we will discover that waking up being scared is a powerful thing.  Let's get into it:   Timestamps We usually speak in three different ways [00:01:00] Communication and interpretation [00:03:00] What is your biggest fear? [00:06:00] Stepping out of the comfort zone [00:07:30] Creating a ripple effect [00:09:00] Escaping normality [00:12:00]   Links My book: The Jelly Bean Jar - Empowering Independence through Divorce https://tanyasomerton.com/shop/the-jelly-bean-jar/ Join my Free Facebook Group here: https://www.facebook.com/groups/divorceangel/ Divorce Roadmap Session: https://tanyasomerton.com/divorce-roadmap/See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Communication is much more than just talking and listening; it requires a set of skills beyond these simple actions. Still, it is possible to acquire these skills with the right guidance. When we are dealing with divorce, having Ninja Communication Skills will put you closer to a positive outcome, closer to a successful separation.  Let's get into it   Timestamps We are pretty bad at communicating [00:01:30] Why we get triggered? [00:03:00] The six other possible scenarios rule [00:06:00] This is what I hear, is this what you are saying? [00:07:30] My evolution at communicating [00:09:30] Body language [00:12:00] Mirroring your interlocutor [00:14:00] Communicating with yourself [00:18:00]   Links   How To Tell Your Partner, You No Longer Want To Be Married. https://divorceangel.vipmembervault.com/products/courses/view/1022671 My book: The Jelly Bean Jar - Empowering Independence through Divorce https://tanyasomerton.com/shop/the-jelly-bean-jar/ Join my Free Facebook Group here: https://www.facebook.com/groups/divorceangel/ Divorce Roadmap Session: https://tanyasomerton.com/divorce-roadmap/See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Getting our emotions involved in our decision-making process is a recipe for disaster when we deal with divorce. If we want to get the outcome we need from our divorce is essential to have what we call Emotional Freedom. In this episode, I will explain the seven stages you need to go through to reach it.   Let's get into it   Timestamps The danger of making emotional decisions [00:01:30] The secret lawyers don't want you to know [00:03:00] The three ways of getting a divorce [00:06:00] Stage one: time management [00:09:00] Stage two: Multitasking [00:10:30]  Stage three: Delegating [00:13:30] Stage four: Excell at communication [00:15:00] Stage five: Be detail-oriented [00:17:00] Stage six: Be organized [00:18:00] Stage seven: Teamwork [00:21:30]   Links 5 Steps To A Seamless Divorce https://divorceangel.vipmembervault.com/products/courses/view/1008392 My book: The Jelly Bean Jar - Empowering Independence through Divorce https://tanyasomerton.com/shop/the-jelly-bean-jar/ Join my Free Facebook Group here: https://www.facebook.com/groups/divorceangel/ Divorce Roadmap Session: https://tanyasomerton.com/divorce-roadmap/See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

As we already know, divorce is much more than just going to a lawyer. After we get the priorities in order, we will find out that divorce is the process of elimination. The key is to have access to a system capable of organizing the steps we need to take. We’ve got to ask the right questions, and then the answers will eliminate the problems that we’ve got. But we’ve got to go through them one after the other until we get the outcome we need.  In this episode, I explain a little bit more about the Divorce Angel's pillars which I mentioned in last week's episode. I explain on how we manage this step by step approach of eliminating the problems we face during the divorce process and gear up to successfully finishing the race.   Timestamps The issue with the old-fashioned divorces [00:01:00] Divorce is something that we want to do only once [00:03:00] A party or a war. The choice is ours [00:04:30] Being attached to an outcome doesn't help [00:07:30] The importance of planning [00:09:00] The expert team [00:12:00] Emotions during a divorce cost money [00:15:00] It is essential to learn from people's mistakes [00:18:00] You need to ask the right questions [00:21:00] Links The Action Centre https://divorceangel.vipmembervault.com/products/courses/view/1008391 My book: The Jelly Bean Jar - Empowering Independence through Divorce https://tanyasomerton.com/shop/the-jelly-bean-jar/ Join my Free Facebook Group here: https://www.facebook.com/groups/divorceangel/ Divorce Roadmap Session: https://tanyasomerton.com/divorce-roadmap/See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Being stuck in life is not always the consequence of not having a choice. When we decide to stay where we are because we are afraid of what we might find out there, we are choosing to live in fear. The unknown is not necessarily a synonym of danger; it can be a new, rewarding life. So when we decide to stay where we are, what is the reward we are getting by living in fear?   Timestamps Future might look scary [00:02:00] Ask yourself this question [00:03:00] What drove humankind so far [00:05:20] If I could, you can [00:09:00] What inspired me so far [00:11:10] Be brave for 5 minutes longer [00:13:00] Fail your way to success [00:15:00] Take action, any action [00:18:00]   Links  Divorce Angel’s blog https://tanyasomerton.com/the-best-way-to-overcome-fear/ 5 Steps To A Seamless Divorce https://divorceangel.vipmembervault.com/products/courses/view/1008392 My book: The Jelly Bean Jar - Empowering Independence through Divorce https://tanyasomerton.com/shop/the-jelly-bean-jar/ Join my Free Facebook Group here: https://www.facebook.com/groups/divorceangel/ Divorce Roadmap Session: https://tanyasomerton.com/divorce-roadmap/See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Getting a divorce is a little bit more complicated than just going to a lawyer. We will need emotional support, legal support, financial support and of course, life support. A tough journey lays in front of us, and it is our choice to get to the other side either severely wounded or stronger and wiser. Listen to my latest podcast episode and discover why leaving a marriage is never easy.  Let's get into it   Timestamps Divorce doesn't need to be as complicated as we make it [00:02:10] The moment you feel its time to move on [00:04:00] How we hear advice / How we should hear it [00:05:00]  The relevance of pre-work [00:07:00] Do we communicate properly? [00:09:00] What is it that we want out of our life? [00:11:30] Like peeling an onion [00:13:30]   Links 5 Steps To A Seamless Divorce https://divorceangel.vipmembervault.com/products/courses/view/1008392 My book: The Jelly Bean Jar - Empowering Independence through Divorce https://tanyasomerton.com/shop/the-jelly-bean-jar/ Join my Free Facebook Group here: https://www.facebook.com/groups/divorceangel/ Divorce Roadmap Session: https://tanyasomerton.com/divorce-roadmap/See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

The divorce process can be costly. It can vary depending on the size of the law firm we hire, the lawyer we get and many other factors. Still, there is a way to spend less money, and it depends entirely on the way we decide to tackle it down. Listen to my latest podcast and find out if your divorce solicitor cost you money, or are you taking wrong decisions for yourself.  Let's get into it   Timestamps What people expect on a first meeting with the lawyer [00:01:45] The divorce ecosystem is disconnected [00:03:00] How we spend more than needed on the lawyer's office [00:06:00]  Work smarter not harder [00:07:30] Not being organized or prepared is costly [00:10:30] You should not do this alone [00:14:00] Links The Covert Divorce Plan https://divorceangel.vipmembervault.com/products/courses/view/1016882 My book: The Jelly Bean Jar - Empowering Independence through Divorce https://tanyasomerton.com/shop/the-jelly-bean-jar/ Join my Free Facebook Group here: https://www.facebook.com/groups/divorceangel/ Divorce Roadmap Session: https://tanyasomerton.com/divorce-roadmap/See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

When our marriage is over, the first thing that comes in mind is that we failed. The truth is that divorce is a fact, and we are the ones who decide what to do with it. We can either transform it into a failure or a success. The key is to keep ourselves mindful and receptive to learn from our mistakes. Where else in your life have you tried and failed? You will change your answer to that question after listening to this episode.  Let's get into it   Timestamps When overwhelm hits [00:01:50] My divorce and why I used to think I've failed [00:03:00] Being in Victim mode [00:06:00]  The greatest accolade you could ever have [00:07:30] You haven't failed, you succeded [00:09:00] Shape your identity the right way [00:12:00] Those who throws grenades end up in a war [00:12:00]   Links The Action Centre https://divorceangel.vipmembervault.com/products/courses/view/1008391 The Covert Divorce Plan https://divorceangel.vipmembervault.com/products/courses/view/1016882 Podcast Episode #24 - Victim- How Did I Find Myself Here? https://tanyasomerton.com/victim-how-did-i-find-myself-here/ Podcast Episode #25 - Overwhelm - I Can’t Do This, It’s All So Hard! https://tanyasomerton.com/overwhelm-i-cant-do-this-its-all-so-hard/ Join my Free Facebook Group here: https://www.facebook.com/groups/divorceangel/ Divorce Roadmap Session: https://tanyasomerton.com/divorce-roadmap/See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

There is a long list of details we need to take care of when we are getting a divorce, and worrying about what other people think should be at the bottom of that list. There is nothing we can do to change what others think about us and wasting time thinking about it only makes us paralyzed and keep us stuck. Listen to this episode of the Divorce Angel podcast and learn where you should put your energy during a divorce, and where you should not.  Let's get into it   Timestamps You're always going to upset someone [00:02:00] What happens when we get lawyers and emotions involved [00:03:00] Like a boxing match [00:05:00]  The language we use [00:07:00] Elvis, his talent and his looks [00:08:30] Your greatest supporters [00:10:00] Be alert to new opportunities [00:12:00] What would your children think? [00:14:30] Control the narrative [00:15:00]   Links   The Action Centre https://divorceangel.vipmembervault.com/products/courses/view/1008391 Podcast Episode #34 - When Should I Take Off My Wedding Ring? https://tanyasomerton.com/when-should-i-take-off-my-wedding-ring/ My book: The Jelly Bean Jar - Empowering Independence through Divorce https://tanyasomerton.com/shop/the-jelly-bean-jar/ Join my Free Facebook Group here: https://www.facebook.com/groups/divorceangel/ Divorce Roadmap Session: https://tanyasomerton.com/divorce-roadmap/See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

This week I would like to share with you the story of a couple that made a tough decision during these rough times. The announcement of the pandemic hit in the middle of their divorce process, forcing them to figure out a different way to face the lockdown. Having their 7-year-old son in mind, they looked at the bigger picture before deciding how to deal with their divorce. Join me in today's episode and listen to this inspiring story of different thinking during the lockdown.   Let's get into it   The story of "Jill" and "Robert" [00:01:30] The procedure during lockdown that decided they fate [00:02:40] A previous arrangement that helped in their decision [00:03:40]  How are they dealing with the new scenario? [00:04:49] Looking at the bigger picture [00:06:00]   Links My book: The Jelly Bean Jar - Empowering Independence through Divorce https://tanyasomerton.com/shop/the-jelly-bean-jar/ Join my Free Facebook Group here: https://www.facebook.com/groups/divorceangel/ Divorce Roadmap Session: https://tanyasomerton.com/divorce-roadmap/See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Divorce is a costly experience. If we are not prepared enough, we can squander lots of money. A divorce solicitor may not be aware of certain things that will lead you to spend more money than needed, or it can happen that they don't care about it. In today's episode, I want to share with you the money-saving tips a divorce solicitor won't tell you.  Let's get into it:   Timestamps  What a pandemic does to a couple [00:02:00] The 80/20 % rule before consulting a lawyer [00:04:30] Picking the right lawyer [00:06:00]  What worked with a friend might not be the best for you [00:07:30] Why lawyers can be so expensive [00:09:30] Mediation rather than litigation [00:11:30] Try to keep it amicable [00:13:00] Difference between the $450 and the $750 lawyer [00:15:00] Lawyers are not therapists [00:17:30]   Links Podcast Episode #36 - Mediation Rather Than Litigation https://tanyasomerton.com/mediation-rather-than-litigation/ Trello Divorce Template https://divorceangel.vipmembervault.com/products/courses/view/1008393/?action=signup My book: The Jelly Bean Jar - Empowering Independence through Divorce https://tanyasomerton.com/shop/the-jelly-bean-jar/ Join my Free Facebook Group here: https://www.facebook.com/groups/divorceangel/ Divorce Roadmap Session: https://tanyasomerton.com/divorce-roadmap/See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

The decision of leaving your relationship could take months to make it. Even when preceded by hours of thinking, planning, and lots of chats with the closest people, it can go wrong.  Setting the scene, practising your speech, and being mindful about the words we use are the most effective advice I can give when you are approaching this very delicate task. Listen to the full podcast for all the tips that can help you step on the right direction. I've also put together a video series and a downloadable workbook for this special episode of Divorce Angel podcast. I invite you to watch the videos and download the workbooks which is free of charge. The link is given below.   Let's get into it   Timestamps  Relationships pushed to the extremes during quarantine [00:01:30] First tip: Set the scene [00:03:30] Consider your stance [00:04:30]  Tip two: Practice your speech [00:06:00] Third tip: Mind your words [00:07:30] Watch your tone [00:09:00] The importance of silence [00:12:00] What people hear [00:15:00] Final tip: The consequences of what was said [00:17:30]   Links Workbook & Video Series - How To Tell Your Partner, You No Longer Want To Be Married : https://divorceangel.vipmembervault.com/products/courses/view/1008391/?action=signup   Join my Free Facebook Group here: https://www.facebook.com/groups/divorceangel/  See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Many of us are aware of what the Law of Attraction is, and still, we tend to use it the wrong way. As we talked about it in previous episodes, the universe sends us back what we send to it. When we think about what is wrong in our lives, what kind of thoughts are we sending out there? In this episode, I invite you to rethink with me the way we use the Law of Attraction, and I offer my best advice on how to use it properly.  Let's get into it   Timestamps: What we expect from the Law of Attraction [00:01:30] Where are we focusing our energy? [00:02:30] The thoughts we send out to the universe [00:04:00] How I started to change my thinking process [00:05:30] What we do wrong when we want a change in our life [00:07:30] What I was doing wrong [00:10:00] It did not happen overnight [00:12:00] Helping others might be the key to help ourselves [00:14:00]   Links My book: The Jelly Bean Jar - Empowering Independence through Divorce https://tanyasomerton.com/shop/the-jelly-bean-jar/ Join my Free Facebook Group here: https://www.facebook.com/groups/divorceangel/ Divorce Roadmap Session: https://tanyasomerton.com/divorce-roadmap/See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Commonly, dealing with divorce makes us feel overwhelmed and fragile, and it affects our decision-making process. When this happens, we might trust a task to the wrong person. For instance, a lawyer will most likely provide, even with the best intentions, awful financial advice. Maybe the family accountant suggests a litigation strategy that sounds great but ends up in disaster. The consequences of making the wrong decisions will haunt us and in most of the cases, when they show up is either late to solve them, or they are irreversible.  In this episode of the Divorce Angel podcast, I share with you the experience of this lady that is dealing with huge tax debt due to poor financial decisions, and I offer the best advice to avoid this situation.  Let's get into it.   Timestamps: How one woman received a $42,000 Tax bill after her divorce[00:01:45] The first of the three 'P' for a successful divorce: Preparation [00:03:00] Finding the right members for your team [00:04:00] The second 'P', Planning [00:05:30] The third 'P', Protection [00:08:00] Asking for advice to the wrong person [00:09:45] Facing the consequences of bad decisions [00:11:00] How to prevent this from happening to you [00:12:00] Links: My book: The Jelly Bean Jar - Empowering Independence through Divorce https://tanyasomerton.com/shop/the-jelly-bean-jar/ Join my Free Facebook Group here: https://www.facebook.com/groups/divorceangel/ Divorce Roadmap Session: https://tanyasomerton.com/divorce-roadmap/See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Dealing with divorce might pull the darkest thoughts out of our minds. The result of being under so much pressure and stress could lead us to flirt with extreme ideas. Bad decisions, lousy counselling or even an honest mistake of a lawyer could make us feel that divorce has broken our spirit. In this episode of the Divorce Angel Podcast, I share with you my best tips to avoid falling into this place.  Let's get into it   Timestamps We are dealing with a broken system [00:02:00] How men and women detect red flags [00:04:00] Why divorce take some men by surprise [00:06:00] A goldmine for lawyers [00:08:00]  Divorce Angel and the 80-20 rule [00:09:30] How divorce can break someone's spirit [00:10:30]   Links: My book: The Jelly Bean Jar - Empowering Independence through Divorce https://tanyasomerton.com/shop/the-jelly-bean-jar/ Join my Free Facebook Group here: https://www.facebook.com/groups/divorceangel/ Divorce Roadmap Session: https://tanyasomerton.com/divorce-roadmap/See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Reaching awareness in life is as challenging as crucial. The hard part is acknowledging our mistakes and flaws - the lack of integrity towards ourselves. The benefits on the other hand are infinite. Awareness is the most liberating feeling you ever have in your life. When you are aware of what's going on, you can act responsibly. Walk with me through this episode, and I will share with you the benefits of being aware during and after a divorce process.  Let's get into it   Timestamps Why we don't want to reach awareness? [00:01:20]  Awareness and our values at stake. [00:02:00] Facing our lack of integrity. [00:05:00]  Being aware of our issues. [00:06:30] The way we do something, we do everything. [00:07:40] Awareness is being in charge. [00:10:30] What is it that you are not aware that you could change?  [00:12:00] Where are you not aware of your responsibility? [00:14:00] You are the person who decides where your life goes. [00:16:00]See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

To be balanced, the universe needs to give back the energy it receives. It sends back what we send to it. What we do to other people, what we say to other people, every action we take creates an energy that will sooner or later, return to us like a boomerang. This is why we should be careful about what we send out.  In this episode of the Divorce Angel podcast, I share with you the tips I followed to reach inner peace and well-being. Let's get into it:   Timestamps What's happening to you is producing a vibration through your life. [00:01:20] I used to retaliate. I used to be triggered. [00:02:30] I don't do it anymore. I'm not doing it again. [00:04:00] Don't let anyone take your inner peace. [00:05:30] Sometimes you need to move on. [00:07:00] The importance of taking care of our well-being. [00:09:00] One of the tools I used to reach inner peace. [00:10:20] You already have what you need. [00:12:00]   Links: My book: The Jelly Bean Jar - Empowering Independence through Divorce https://tanyasomerton.com/shop/the-jelly-bean-jar/ Join my Free Facebook Group here: https://www.facebook.com/groups/divorceangel/ Divorce Roadmap Session: https://tanyasomerton.com/divorce-roadmap/ See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Sometimes we feel cornered by our problems, and we cannot see a way out. Or maybe reality overwhelms us and every decision we make leads to a deeper and darker place. We know we need to change something, yet we don't know what we need to do to create change in our lives. In this episode, we unravel the most effective method to create change in our lives and take the first steps to a new life.   Let's get into it You can never solve a problem at the level it was created. [00:01:00]  There's no point on sitting there and thinking that we don't have all the answers. [00:02:40]  When you decide to create change in your life, what is it that you want to change? [00:03:40]  Our beliefs might be holding us back from creating change in our lives. [00:05:00]  We need to unlearn who we are. [00:07:30] Being grateful for our experiences. [00:09:00] Being around the right people. [00:11:30] Learn new things constantly. [00:13:00] Links: My book: The Jelly Bean Jar - Empowering Independence through Divorce https://tanyasomerton.com/shop/the-jelly-bean-jar/   Join my Free Facebook Group here: https://www.facebook.com/groups/divorceangel/   Divorce Roadmap Session: https://tanyasomerton.com/divorce-roadmap/See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Even when we are fully aware of the fact that Valentine's Day "use" love to generate a 'profit margin', we cannot avoid feeling affected by it during our separation. Love is in the air wherever we look. It is all over the internet, the radio, the T.V and in all the stores you visit. It's there right in your face. This leads you to think one thing: How can I survive through this? On this very special podcast, I want to share with you my best tips to keep your mental and emotional health intact. Let's get into it:   Timestamps Our secret Valentine and the void we want to fulfil. [00:01:00] What do you need to be happy? [00:02:40] A little bit of history over Valentine's Day. [00:04:30] Feelings amplify at this time of the year. [00:07:15] First tip: Stay away from Social Media. [00:08:40] Second tip: Praise yourself. [00:10:30] Third tip: Have some quality time with family and friends. [00:12:00] Fourth tip: Get lost in a book. [00:13:00] Fifth tip: Putting together a 90-days plan. [00:15:50] Bonus tip: Momentum is key. [00:17:00] Links: My book: The Jelly Bean Jar - Empowering Independence through Divorce https://tanyasomerton.com/shop/the-jelly-bean-jar/ Join my Free Facebook Group here: https://www.facebook.com/groups/divorceangel/ Divorce Roadmap Session: https://tanyasomerton.com/divorce-roadmap/See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Being scared of the unknown is considered by science the fundamental fear. What triggers this fear, is the absence of information. For instance, the outcome of a decision we might make. This fear will keep us trapped in either an uncomfortable or unhealthy relationship.  In this episode of the Divorce Angel Podcast, we talk about how dangerous it is to be a hostage of the "FEAR of the unknown", and how important it is to conquer it.  Let's get into it: Timestamps The importance of putting a structure together. [00:01:00]  What makes our minds decide to stay. [00:02:41]  Do not live in unhappiness because those are the cards you have. [00:03:30]  What you have will not define your happiness. [00:06:00] There is a lot of life-changing knowledge we are not aware of their existence. [00:08:00] Secret or hidden should not be scary but exciting. [00:10:00] Do not be scared of losing everything. You can always start again. [00:12:00] The unknown can be fulfilling. [00:13:00] Links: My book: The Jelly Bean Jar - Empowering Independence through Divorce https://tanyasomerton.com/shop/the-jelly-bean-jar/ Join my Free Facebook Group here: https://www.facebook.com/groups/divorceangel/ Divorce Roadmap Session: https://tanyasomerton.com/divorce-roadmap/ See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

We already know that dealing with a divorce or separation can be hard, and if you are a business owner, it can be more difficult. After putting so much time and effort in your business, seeing it falling apart as a result of your divorce can be heartbreaking. The end of your marriage should not mean the end of your business too.  In this episode, we talk about the difficulties we will face getting a divorce as business owners, and about what we can do to make our business survive our separation.  Let's get into it Timestamps The first alarm goes on. [00:02:35] The danger of being vindictive. [00:04:30] Unnecessary pressure added. [00:06:20] You might be in front of a turning point. [00:8:40] I've decided to keep my business. Now what? [00:10:40] We can use the lessons learned during the separation. [00:12:00] Who should we remunerate or reward? Who indeed helped us? [00:14:20] Links: My book: The Jelly Bean Jar - Empowering Independence through Divorce https://tanyasomerton.com/shop/the-jelly-bean-jar/ Join my Free Facebook Group here: https://www.facebook.com/groups/divorceangel/ Divorce Roadmap Session: https://tanyasomerton.com/divorce-roadmap/See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Social media can be a gratifying amusement, a space to share our experiences, or even a great business booster. If we are going through difficult times, it can also offer a painful contrast between the happiness we see in it and the sadness we are facing. When we are at our lowest point, when everything seems to get worse and worse, any suggestion or alternative we see or receive looks like the solution to our problems. We need to be aware of the danger of letting social media affect our decision-making process.  In this episode of the Divorce Angle Podcast, we talk about the importance of staying away from social media when we need it, to regain internal peace.  Let's get into it   Timestamps: Burning all the past. [00:01:50] Why is everything a reason to fight in our marriage? [00:04:30] The importance of inner peace [00:06:00] No two divorces are the same. Do your research before using a referral. [00:7:20] Why are lawyers interested in my method? [00:9:00] What we post on social media vs how we want to be perceived. [00:10:30] We need to be mindful of the information we put in our minds. [00:12:00] Links: My book: The Jelly Bean Jar - Empowering Independence through Divorce https://tanyasomerton.com/shop/the-jelly-bean-jar/ Join my Free Facebook Group here: https://www.facebook.com/groups/divorceangel/ Divorce Roadmap Session: https://tanyasomerton.com/divorce-roadmap/See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Every time we say things like: "I am not strong enough to face this alone", or "I am not smart enough to create something like that by my own", or even when we think we do not deserve someone's love, we are boycotting ourselves.  These are made-up stories about ourselves that we repeat in our heads and stop us from making any progress.  In this episode of the Divorce Angel Podcast, I share with you the lessons I learnt from my divorce, and I offer guidance on how to deal with the stories we tell ourselves.  Let's get into it:   Timestamps: The first lesson I learnt from my divorce. I am strong [00:01:50] The importance of having a plan [00:03:00]  Lesson Two. I am smart enough[00:04:30] Everyone's got abilities [00:06:00] Lesson Three. I am resourceful [00:7:20] Lesson Four. I am lovable [00:9:00] Lesson Five. I am a good person [00:11:00] You have everything you need inside of you [00:15:00] Links:   My book: The Jelly Bean Jar - Empowering Independence through Divorce https://tanyasomerton.com/shop/the-jelly-bean-jar/ Join my Free Facebook Group here: https://www.facebook.com/groups/divorceangel/ Divorce Roadmap Session: https://tanyasomerton.com/divorce-roadmap/See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Marriage may be affected by things that mostly we can't control. They will appear, and we will have to learn how to deal with them. What we can manage, however, is our reaction to these unexpected events.  We are the reflection of how we deal with the issues surrounding our marriage. Even during divorce, if we handle it with love and kindness, that is what we will get back. We are a reflection of our relationships. To see how we show up in life, we need to look at how we show up in our relationships. In this episode, we talk about the details we should observe to improve the way we show up in life.  Let’s get into it: Timestamps: How did I used to show up in life [00:02:45] Are you lying to yourself? [00:04:30] My clients' light bulb momment[00:06:30] If you don't trust your partner, do you trust yourself? [00:07:10] Always give a 100% [00:10:00]  The BE-DO-HAVE model [00:12:00] Showing love and kindness during divorce [00:13:20] The nuts and bolts case [00:15:45] My mission on this job. [00:16:30] Links: My book: The Jelly Bean Jar - Empowering Independence through Divorce https://tanyasomerton.com/shop/the-jelly-bean-jar/ Join my Free Facebook Group here: https://www.facebook.com/groups/divorceangel/ Divorce Roadmap Session: https://tanyasomerton.com/divorce-roadmap/ See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Statistics show that people in unhappy marriages are more likely to get divorced or separated in December and January. If we collect Google data, we will see an increase in inquiries about divorce from November to January compared to the rest of the year. Why? Christmas and New Year's eve are dates that tend to put our lives in perspective and is usually at this time of the year when we decide to make a change. Still, the decisions we make are nuanced by a set of factors. We do not want to ruin our kid's Christmas The financial strain  Happiness through someone vs self-induced happiness  In this episode, we walk the road of the tough decisions to be made during this sensitive time of the year.  Let’s get into it:   Timestamps: Divorce does not need to be terrible[00:03:00] Are you 100% comfortable and certain about your decision? [00:04:30] My reason to get a divorce[00:06:20] The biggest mistake we can make [00:07:00] Statistics about the end of the year [00:09:50] The children issue [00:11:30] Staying year after year in unhappiness [00:12:30] My job, my purpose [00:14:00] Holidays and bad decisions. [00:16:00]   Links: My book: The Jelly Bean Jar - Empowering Independence through Divorce https://tanyasomerton.com/shop/the-jelly-bean-jar/ Join my Free Facebook Group here: https://www.facebook.com/groups/divorceangel/ Divorce Roadmap Session: https://tanyasomerton.com/divorce-roadmap/See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

With Christmas at the end of the year usually we see a lot of laughter, joy and happiness. It is that time of the year when we reflect on what we did through the days passed by and set our goals for the coming new year. And most of all this is when the celebrations begin and usually we look forward to family reunions. The only thing we want is to be around the ones we love the most. If you are going through a separation or a divorce, this could be a problem for you. May be your dreading it. Perhaps when everybody else is hugging each other and unwrapping presents, your alone feeling the worst. Its probably very tough for you and you may be thinking that from now on (and at least till you find someone new), you are alone. It is a date where emotions are all over the place. Not only for us but for our kids too. All the more reason to be confused and stressed. This special podcast is about the effects that a divorce will have on us during the holidays. What we should expect from assembled families and how to pass through this particular time of the year with less pain and possibly a better attitude.  Let's get into it:   Timestamps: What is your greatest struggle at this time of year?[00:01:00] What is the major concern for women during Christmas? [00:02:00] What we should do with our kids and what we should not.[00:04:00] What kind of memories are we creating? [00:07:00] The importance of being present. [00:09:00] My first Christmas after the divorce. The hardest ever. [00:10:30] New partners and our kids. [00:12:00] Our ex's family. Should we keep in touch? [00:15:00] How to restart? Suggestions and ideas. [00:17:00]   Links: My book: The Jelly Bean Jar - Empowering Independence through Divorce https://tanyasomerton.com/shop/the-jelly-bean-jar/ Join my Free Facebook Group here: https://www.facebook.com/groups/divorceangel/ Divorce Roadmap Session: https://tanyasomerton.com/divorce-roadmap/See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

To our kids, divorce is a life long process. During this process, the ability to do a great job at parenting is even more relevant. We need to be very careful with what we say and do in front of our children because we are their source on how to behave and react in life. Everything we say about our ex-spouse will affect our kids, either positively or negatively. Negative remarks we make about our ex-spouse will leave a scar in our kids, and that is why we need to be mindful of what we choose to say and do.  Co-parenting can truly be a success if you chose to do it in a child centered approach. In this episode, we talk about strategies to avoid making mistakes as divorced parents and how you can handle your emotions better around your kids.  We just need to have a well thought through approach to anything in life to make it work.  After all parenting is tough and co-parenting has its own set of challenges. By the end of this podcast you will know its not rocket science. All we need is a mindful approach to make co-parenting a success. Timestamps: Why we choose that person in the first place?[00:01:00] What our kids struggle the most during a divorce? [00:03:00] Our kids learn from us.[00:05:00] How to explain to our kids what is happening and why?[00:07:00] The importance of being present. [00:09:00] Quality time or quantity of time, what our kids need? [00:11:00] What do our kids need in a moment like this? [00:13:00] The risks of involving our kids. [00:15:00] The benefits of avoiding overthinking. [00:17:00]   Links: My book: The Jelly Bean Jar - Empowering Independence through Divorce https://tanyasomerton.com/shop/the-jelly-bean-jar/ Join my Free Facebook Group here: https://www.facebook.com/groups/divorceangel/ Divorce Roadmap Session: https://tanyasomerton.com/divorce-roadmap/See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

There are so many aspects to look after when you are going throw a divorce. You can easily neglect one or two. When you look at the to-do list it can be overwhelming and usually you can not handle everything by yourself and this is why you ask for help. The tricky part here is, we tend to focus on what we 'think' we can handle and may only ask for a piece of advice on what looks complicated to us from the wrong set of people. When this happens you end up asking someone to do something that they are actually not qualified to do or do not specialize in. Even with good intentions, a lawyer or a solicitor can provoke critical financial damage to us as its not really within their scope to advice.  This episode is all about the details we should consider to make the right choice on behalf of our financial future. We talk about the questions we need to ask ourselves to avoid costly mistakes and financial risks that will harm us.  Timestamps: Where and how I have started my journey through divorce.[00:02:00] Sink or swim. [00:03:00] One of the biggest mistakes all of us make.[00:05:00] What if self-doubt hit us?[00:07:00] The mistakes lawyers can make that will affect us. [00:09:00] The right questions to ask yourself about assets. [00:12:00] Why we do a Divorce Roadmap. [00:13:00] Links: Online Course - 4 Simple Steps to Financial Security – Guaranteed: https://tanyasomerton.com/4-simple-steps-to-financial-security-guaranteed/  My book: The Jelly Bean Jar - Empowering Independence through Divorce https://tanyasomerton.com/shop/the-jelly-bean-jar/ Join my Free Facebook Group here: https://www.facebook.com/groups/divorceangel/ Divorce Roadmap Session: https://tanyasomerton.com/divorce-roadmap/See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

In this episode, we discuss another aspect of the financial issues we can face during a divorce. Last episode we spoke about money in vs money out during a divorce, while this time the focus is on the decisions we must make now that will relate to the life we will have after the divorce. The need to understand the difference between facing life as a team with your partner versus facing it as a solo player. Being alone is different, but that does not mean it has to be harder.  When we are defining the possessions we will keep after the divorce, we should not be influenced by our emotions. We need to focus on what we need. We need to see if what we have is what we need. Perhaps we need less. Maybe we are fighting to keep an asset we will not be capable to maintain by ourselves.  Maybe a good strategy to avoid putting ourselves in financial traps is leaving the heart in the bedside table before a divorce settlement. Learn why living above our means is definitely something we need to avoid.    Timestamps: We live above our means when we're in a relationship. [00:03:00] The reason that many relationships break up.[00:04:00] Sometimes the universe, or whatever it is you believe in, slap us in the face.[00:07:00] What happens when we are able to simplify our lives. [00:10:00] Should I keep the house or be happy?. [00:13:00] Are we living in denial?[00:15:00] Links: Online Course - 4 Simple Steps to Financial Security – Guaranteed: https://tanyasomerton.com/4-simple-steps-to-financial-security-guaranteed/  My book: The Jelly Bean Jar - Empowering Independence through Divorce https://tanyasomerton.com/shop/the-jelly-bean-jar/ Join my Free Facebook Group here: https://www.facebook.com/groups/divorceangel/ Divorce Roadmap Session: https://tanyasomerton.com/divorce-roadmap/See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Today's episode is about the decisions we make that have financial implications when going through a divorce. When we are experiencing extreme situations, the urgent does not allow time for the important. We may end up making decisions that seem the right thing to do, but if we look at the outcome of that decision in the long term it does not seem so right.  For example, it could be thinking of keeping an asset or a property which is probably the easiest thing to do, but not necessarily the best choice. What should we consider when deciding this? If we think about divorce as a chance to press a restart button, maybe this new perspective would let us see new opportunities. In this episode, we will have a closer look at the decisions we make and the financial outcomes of each one of them.  So let’s get into it: Timestamps: My struggles when I was facing my divorce. [00:01:00] It is about money-in or money-out? [00:02:00] The story about the two ladies.[00:04:00] "Everything will always be okay".[00:09:00] Divorce to a lawyer vs Divorce to us. [00:11:00] The easy thing to do might not be the right thing right now. [00:13:00]  Think of the longterm benefit of the decisions that you make today. [00:15:00] Links: My book: The Jelly Bean Jar - Empowering Independence through Divorce https://tanyasomerton.com/shop/the-jelly-bean-jar/ Join my Free Facebook Group here: https://www.facebook.com/groups/divorceangel/ Divorce Roadmap Session: https://tanyasomerton.com/divorce-roadmap/See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

People's divorces offer all kind of stories. You may find agreement on huge issues of a divorce settlement, like selling properties or even valuation of business, yet at the same time, they cannot reach an understanding over small things.  This can happen for many reasons. You may have reasoning behind fighting over a particular item, but you should ask yourself is it worth the energy, the time, and the money you will spend to get it. In this podcast, Tanya talks about how and why the little issues cost the most. Looking back over her own experience and that of two recent clients, she wants you to ask yourself is it worth the cost and stress? So let’s get into it: Timestamps: One of the reasons why I became a Divorce Angel.[00:01:00] Know the 80 20 rule. [00:03:00] First case of study: The photo album.[00:05:00] What happened to me. [00:08:00] How my story ended up. [00:10:00] What I have learnt after what happened to me. [00:13:00] Do you need this stress? [00:15:00] Links: My book: The Jelly Bean Jar - Empowering Independence through Divorce https://tanyasomerton.com/shop/the-jelly-bean-jar/ Join my Free Facebook Group here: https://www.facebook.com/groups/divorceangel/ Divorce Roadmap Session: https://tanyasomerton.com/divorce-roadmap/See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Today's episode is about happiness. How to get to it and how to make happiness a state of mind. Sometimes everything looks about to collapse around us, and it does not matter how fiercely we fight it, sadness and sorrow seems to be undefeatable. Reality is most of the times this is just stories we tell ourselves. Going throw a divorce is one of the most stressful processes someone can face, and everyone deals with it uniquely. There is no time established to start or stop feeling this or that way. But there is, although, no need at all of being sad or hurt forever.  "You have the power to be happy" teaches a simple exercise that will take you to a happy state of mind in a few seconds.  So let’s get into it: Timestamps: The importance of repetition in the process of learning. [00:01:00] The things we can do for ourselves. [00:02:00] Why we can’t find a way out of our problems. [00:03:00] A simple exercise to reach happiness. [00:04:00] Some of Tanya’s happy places. [00:07:00] How to reach happiness from the inside out. [00:11:00] Uncovering our clients greatest struggles. [00:14:00] Be silly, nobody’s watching. [00:17:00]   Links:   My book: The Jelly Bean Jar - Empowering Independence through Divorce https://tanyasomerton.com/shop/the-jelly-bean-jar/   Join my Free Facebook Group here: https://www.facebook.com/groups/divorceangel/   Divorce Roadmap Session: https://tanyasomerton.com/divorce-roadmap/ See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Which Stories Are Holding You Back? The stories we tell ourselves define who we are. Have you ever found yourself in a critical situation and could not understand how you got there? When you ask yourself who you are, do you like the answer you hear? The stories we build in our heads about us and our reality are not always necessarily true. Stay tuned, and learn which stories you should hear about yourself, and which you shouldn't.   Timestamps: The beautiful email from Shelley that triggered today’s episode [00:02:00] Stories cause us to feel emotions, and we act from those emotions [00:03:00] Tanya calls BS on the stories you’re telling yourself about you [00:05:00] You can change your life by changing the stories you tell to yourself [00:08:00] Why and how to be grateful for the little things [00:12:00] What happens if the stories we tell ourselves are not true? [00:14:00] Links: My book: The Jelly Bean Jar - Empowering Independence through Divorce https://tanyasomerton.com/shop/the-jelly-bean-jar/ Join my Free Facebook Group here: https://www.facebook.com/groups/divorceangel/ Divorce Roadmap Session: https://tanyasomerton.com/divorce-roadmap/See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Today’s episode:  Big Problems Require Little Solutions Big Problems Require Little Solutions Big problems are usually made of smaller ones easier to solve. Understanding this and knowing how to deal with it is the first step into a happy existence. You need to learn to pick your battles more wisely, thinking more about the outcome than in the fight itself. In this podcast, we will discuss where we should put our efforts when facing big problems.    So let’s get into it: Timestamps: Tanya tells a story that changed her life when making decisions. [00:02:00]  Problems that we have are sometimes in our head[00:04:00]    Solve big issues and big solutions rather than breaking them down do not work.[00:06:00]  The questions people ask themselves  [00:10:00] When a legal bill is out of hand [00:13:00] When actions are the problem [00:16:00]  What is the most important thing for you right now, is it the fight or is it the rest of your life?[00:18:00] Links: My book: The Jelly Bean Jar - Empowering Independence through Divorce https://tanyasomerton.com/shop/the-jelly-bean-jar/ Join my Free Facebook Group here: https://www.facebook.com/groups/divorceangel/ Divorce Roadmap Session: https://tanyasomerton.com/divorce-roadmap/ See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

You've chosen the person that you married and that choice has consequences and those consequences are either making you happy or unhappy. If you're listening to this podcast, it's probably because you're unhappy or confused and you're looking for the answers to the questions. Bottom-line is we are always having conversations around choice. People tend to think that they don't have a choice and this is where the whole victim mentality comes in. If you think you have no choice, it's very hard to make the right decision. We have a choice to say, "Yes or no”. If you're going through a separation or you're currently in the legal part of your negotiation, just remember that you have a choice and every decision you make has a consequence whether that be good or bad. Make sure that the choices revolving the decisions you make today do not impact you negatively tomorrow; because they can be very costly. Links: My book: The Jelly Bean Jar – Empowering Independence through Divorce: https://tanyasomerton.com/shop/the-jelly-bean-jar/  Divorce Roadmap Session: https://tanyasomerton.com/divorce-roadmap/  Join my Free Facebook Group here: https://www.facebook.com/groups/divorceangel/ See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Choosing the right person for the job is extremely important especially during a divorce. In this podcast Tanya speaks with Alison Shaw from Shaw Dispute Resolutions about how to choose a good mediator and the benefits.Links:My book: The Jelly Bean Jar – Empowering Independence through Divorce: https://tanyasomerton.com/shop/the-jelly-bean-jar/ Divorce Roadmap Session: https://tanyasomerton.com/divorce-roadmap/ Join my Free Facebook Group here: https://www.facebook.com/groups/divorceangel/ Shaw dispute mediation - 1300 768 496 https://shawdr.com.au/See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Have you ever wondered the difference between legal proceedings and using a mediator? Well in this podcast Tanya interviews Alison Shaw. Alison was a family lawyer who ran her own business and had a light bulb moment after completing a mediation course. Alison realized that their was a better way to help families going through divorce and started Shaw Dispute Resolution. Alison believes in mediation not litigation and says that her legal skills have provided an insight that allows her to show compassion and help families through the process in a calm and safe environment. Links: My book: The Jelly Bean Jar – Empowering Independence through Divorce: https://tanyasomerton.com/shop/the-jelly-bean-jar/  Divorce Roadmap Session: https://tanyasomerton.com/divorce-roadmap/  Join my Free Facebook Group here: https://www.facebook.com/groups/divorceangel/ See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

You are so important. Often we forget this when trouble strikes! When things seem to go wrong and you loose control of what was perfect, regrets, confusion, guilt and sadness fills you and eats your thoughts.  Remember, feelings of overwhelm and darkness will fade with time. Consider the good you have in your life right now and things will improve. It will just take time and patience.The key with a really successful divorce is trying to prevent the spot fires and if anything, try and have or be in control of the situation as much as possible. when we're in a bad situation, don't keep pondering on the extremely bad things that happen, instead focus on the other part of your life where things are much better. How you handle yourself and look after yourself will give you the ultimate results to a successful future.  Links: My book: The Jelly Bean Jar – Empowering Independence through Divorce: https://tanyasomerton.com/shop/the-jelly-bean-jar/  Divorce Roadmap Session: https://tanyasomerton.com/divorce-roadmap/  Join my Free Facebook Group here: https://www.facebook.com/groups/divorceangel/ See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Knowing when to take off your wedding ring, can have different meanings to different people. Research has shown that there are no rules. Depending on how the relationship was going, how it ended, what had happened throughout the duration that you were together; all has a bearing on how you and when you will take off your wedding ring. Some may take it off straight away while another may take months and months. How you come to terms with it will be in your own time. You need to do it when the time is right for you. In this podcast Tanya talks about the experiences she comes across and speaks of her own.   Links: My book: The Jelly Bean Jar – Empowering Independence through Divorce: https://tanyasomerton.com/shop/the-jelly-bean-jar/ Join my Free Facebook Group here: https://www.facebook.com/groups/divorceangel/                 Divorce Roadmap Session: https://tanyasomerton.com/divorce-roadmap/See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Here I talk about the importance of communication. This is most often what becomes the real problem if not done properly when people are going through a separation. Its okay to be emotional but we've got to understand that when we say things, they do have consequences and especially if we've got children. This is why it’s easy to understand how things can get off track and out of control when one does not listen and communicate clearly. Communication is always a two way thing and not one way! So if you're currently going through a separation now, the important thing to understand is that you communicate with your ex, and also that you make sure they actually understand what you're saying. In the heat of the moment, someone will only take out the key words that they hear. They don't hear the whole sentence. They might only hear the things that they are trying to prove. First try to understand what is said and what is needed to be met by both parties.  You just want to always hold your head high and be the bigger person and understand that you can't control their actions or reactions. You can only control your own. Those circumstances can, in a lot of cases, make a big difference to an outcome. If you started on talking terms then you will end up working together to get an outcome. So my advice to you is be very mindful of the words that you say and how you say them and know what they mean because they have consequences.   Links: My book: The Jelly Bean Jar – Empowering Independence through Divorce https://tanyasomerton.com/shop/the-jelly-bean-jar/ Divorce Roadmap Session: https://tanyasomerton.com/divorce-roadmap/ Join my Free Facebook Group here: https://www.facebook.com/groups/divorceangel/See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

In this Podcast Tanya and Karen discuss the issues that a lot of clients have in finding the right lawyers and the issues they see in the industry. If you are looking for a lawyer, there are nuggets of information which may help you find the best person to represent you. Karen Finch is the Co-founder and CEO of Legally Yours and is a lawyer by profession, and an expert on family law practice. Having seen the real gap in the market caused by huge conflicts with the billable hours, Legally Yours was born. Legally Yours is no traditional billable law firm but a service provided in law with an upfront fixed fee structure making it more transparent to their clients. Karen took quite the heart-breaking decision to leave her beloved profession early on which she felt to be really horrible due to the eye-opening process it involved. She loved her clients too much to continue with how the system worked. Having told to bill bill bill, Karen gives us the hard truth about how the ‘six minute increment charging works’ and why she moved out and ventured to finding a better way to cope with the system and still be able to help her clients. With a passion for the human side of law she realized something was fundamentally wrong with that system and that there is a different way to practice and there are different ways to do it.   Links: Divorce Roadmap Session: https://tanyasomerton.com/divorce-roadmap/ Join my Free Facebook Group here: https://www.facebook.com/groups/divorceangel/ Legally Yours: https://legallyyours.com.au/See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

This podcast is a continuation from last week where we spoke about inaction and the dangers it can cause when people get complacent with their lives. You may be trapped to the circumstances and whatever that entails for you individually but there is a way out or a way that’s better. You just have to take it. Action must be the next step. Knowing and doing are two completely different things. This Podcast emphasises why we need to keep the momentum going so we don’t miss out on the best opportunities that will start to unfold in front of you. Because right now they're not showing up to you but it’s a matter of time and taking charge for it to happen. Anything's possible and I want that for you, too. Let's get into how do we move on from inaction? Links: Divorce Roadmap Session: https://tanyasomerton.com/divorce-roadmap/ Join my Free Facebook Group here: https://www.facebook.com/groups/divorceangel/See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

This podcast is about the price of inaction and the costs associated when dealing Divorce. Inaction – when we really aren’t getting things done and are unable to make those important decisions in life.I really didn't realize the effect that it had on people's life until I started working in this area of divorce. It’s all understandable because it takes a long time to understand what you want to be quite honest. I was there myself so I'm not throwing stones because I realize now how much inaction cost me in the long run. This is why I don't any longer sit inaction.I might be feeling sorry for myself, I might wonder how I found myself here and think this is all getting too hard, but I snap out of it quickly because the key out of inaction is knowing that you're in it and then as soon as possible shaking yourself out of it and get things moving again. The bottom line is, if we don't get things moving, it will start to affect other parts of our life; our family, our career, relationships and even to a point of affecting our health and our personal happiness. DON’T LET INACTION COST YOU A FORTUNE. Don’t miss out on opportunities because you're too busy worrying. Let’s get going!See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

In my previous five podcasts I took you though 5 stages that you should face and overcome when dealing with Divorce.  In this podcast I want to summaries these new ways and take you though how I get disclosure from clients and ultimately just make their life easier.   I want you to be honest with yourself and ask yourself, which part of these steps you are at right now? Victim, Overwhelm, Acceptance, Focus or Victor? Sometimes you may feel a mixture of it all or few and that would just mean that you haven't finished everything before you've moved up to the next part. Think before you move on because there's nothing worse than moving from one relationship into another and not having finalized everything. The preparation mode and planning is the key to a Successful Divorce. That's what my job is all about, try and streamline the whole process of Divorce. I just want this whole process of separation and divorce to be as efficient and as quick as possible. Sometimes in a separation or a divorce you really do get to know the sort of person you are moving forward. I hope you find some useful tips in this podcasts.  Links: Divorce Roadmap Session: https://tanyasomerton.com/divorce-roadmap/ Join my Free Facebook Group here: https://www.facebook.com/groups/divorceangel/See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

I'm so excited to bring you this last podcast in our series of the five stage philosophy of divorce. VICTOR! This is where I would want all my clients to be at by the end of their Divorce. Victorious! You may feel like you have just been to war and survived. It's exhausting, but you reached the end. This is when your picture for the future is clear. You have feelings of happiness, contentment, closure, excitement, and possibly relief. By the time you get to this stage you are bound to experience and feel like you have; LEARNED: from yours and others mistakes, and things that you thought was impossible has become possible. LOVED: feelings of happiness, content, closure, excitement, and possibly, relief. LIVED: you look back and you can't believe how far you've come, how strong you are, and what you've achieved. Looking back is like reading the pages of a novel and you can't imagine how you've managed to get through it, but you did. HAVE A PLAN: You know what to do, review, evolve, and celebrate. This are the steps I take my clients through. From victim, to overwhelm, to acceptance, to focus, to victor. When my clients get to that victor stage, jeez, it fills me with joy. I hope you truly enjoy the podcast and are able to achieve this in your life. Links: Divorce Roadmap Session: https://tanyasomerton.com/divorce-roadmap/ Join my Free Facebook Group here: https://www.facebook.com/groups/divorceangel/See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Over the last few weeks, we've been talking about my philosophy of divorce and how it requires us to go through five stages. This is the fourth stage in this process of a successful divorce. Once you've gone through each and every one of these stages, you will really grow and evolve as a person. When someone is in focus, they know what they want, and prepared no matter what to reach the goal, and are 100% committed to the outcome.This is where we get laser-sharp on who we need in our team, what outcome we want, and how we're going to go about achieving it. Time is the most valuable commodity that we have in the world yet people take it for granted. Being 'Focus' helps us to answer how to get about the divorce as well as the second step which probably is the most important one - "How do I start the rest of my life thereafter?”. Knowing what you want is probably the hardest thing you ever had to do, but it can be done. This is the part where you can turn your life around. Where your wildest dreams can come true. Where you realize you are stronger than you ever thought possible. Where moving on is full of excitement. You just have to think about it and then put the steps in place Plan Be prepared Protect yourself  This requires a strong mind to know the actions you have taken are the right ones for you. All of that together is where we get laser focus, that's how we get the outcome that we need. Links: Divorce Roadmap Session: https://tanyasomerton.com/divorce-roadmap/ Join my Free Facebook Group here: https://www.facebook.com/groups/divorceangel/See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

In this podcast we discuss the third principal of my divorce philosophy and one of my principals for a successful divorce- ACCEPTANCE. Acceptance is the beginning of your new beginning. This is where you decide to let go and lay the foundation to MOVE ON.  For more details on Divorce Angel click the links below: Links: My book: The Jelly Bean Jar – Empowering Independence through Divorce https://tanyasomerton.com/shop/the-jelly-bean-jar/ Join my Free Facebook Group here: https://www.facebook.com/groups/divorceangel/See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

In this podcast I explain the five principles of divorce success and how to move from Victim into Victor and outline the second Philosophy of Divorce - Overwhelm  The Definition of Overwhelm is when something is too much to deal with. The signs you are in Overwhelm consist of the following:   Struggle to make decisions  Completely frozen with inaction  Have a lack of energy and the ability to see your future. I outline the dangers of staying in overwhelm and not moving forward and then the steps you can implement to help you move forward. Links: My book: The Jelly Bean Jar – Empowering Independence through Divorce https://tanyasomerton.com/shop/the-jelly-bean-jar/ Join my Free Facebook Group here: https://www.facebook.com/groups/divorceangel/See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

In this podcast I explain the first stage of my five principals to Divorce Success. This is part of the Divorce Angel Divorce Philosophy. To succeed YOU must go through each of these steps to succeed, repair and heal and live a life as a Victor. Find out more about the signs you are in Victim Mode: Guilt, Anger and Blame. And how you move forward to help you grow, forgive and evolve as a person. Links: My book: The Jelly Bean Jar – Empowering Independence through Divorce https://tanyasomerton.com/shop/the-jelly-bean-jar/ Join my Free Facebook Group here: https://www.facebook.com/groups/divorceangel/See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Are you sick and tired of the fighting and want it to go away? I was once in a similar state in my life but I found the way to move on. On this podcast I discuss the lessons I have learnt looking back and how I now find inner peace to help me make the RIGHT decisions.  Links: My book: The Jelly Bean Jar – Empowering Independence through Divorce https://tanyasomerton.com/shop/the-jelly-bean-jar/ Join my Free Facebook Group here: https://www.facebook.com/groups/divorceangel/See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Melissa Davis started her business After The Affair, when she saw a need in the market for help and support for the cheated partner. It is a very unique situation; the guilt, the embarrassment and shame. There needed to be a program to address his or her needs on how to heal and putting back the jigsaw pieces of your life. Having been put in the position with a young baby, Melissa struggled to heal and move on after she found out about her husband’s affair. She wondered why she felt the way she did and continually asked herself, was she not good enough? What did she do wrong? She felt guilt, embarrassment and shame. After separating and becoming a single mother, money was tight, and she did not have the funds to see a counsellor or therapist and went looking for a resource she could afford. There was nothing, so she decided to put it together herself to help others in the same position. If you would like to know more follow the links below: Take the free quiz to see if you are healing. https://www.aftertheaffair.co/ Julia Kristina Counselling https://www.aftertheaffair.co/julia-kristina https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCxDddt9plueOLphBLyrdmPw Melo Garcia https://www.aftertheaffair.co/melo-garcia    See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Melissa Davis describes her husband's affair as harder to process and deal with emotionally then the death of her close friend and sister. She continually asked herself, What did I do wrong? Was I not good enough? She questioned everything.  Melissa talks about what she calls the "Waterfall Effect' - which is everyone coming out of the woodwork to confess their knowledge of the infidelity. And her ability to trust again, how sticking to her morals saw her sack her lawyer and how having an ugly cry made her feel so much lighter. Learn the lessons she shares to prevent you living in pain any longer than necessary and how there is help available. Links: Website www.aftertheaffair.co Instagram https://www.instagram.com/aftertheaffair_co/ Facebook www.facebook.com/aftertheaffair/ YouTube: YouTube Podcast referred to on saving money with legal correspondence See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.