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Connect The Dots B*tch

English, Personal health, 7 seasons, 184 episodes, 5 days 22 hours
A podcast that delivers depth, emotional insight and uncensored thoughts that only your therapist would accept you for having. Connecting the dots to make sense of your life won’t be the same after this unapologetically witty take on reality. Expect discussions on every day life, relationships, candid stories, emotions, social observations, pop culture, life advice and reality tv. No topic is off limits! Come for the humor, wisdom and brutal honesty from your host Certified Holistic Life Coach, Certified Trauma Support Specialist, Author & Reiki Master, Amy Fiedler.
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Why People Project, Deflect + Attack Others

In this final episode of 2023 and the last episode of season 7, Amy digs into the behaviors of projection, deflection, blame and attack. Why do people behave like that? Amy shares her insights into these behavior patterns and explains what YOU can do when face to face with them. Tune in to hear Amy offer you guidance and a memorable final episode before she takes a brief hiatus after giving birth. THIS EPISODE DISCUSSES: • Emotional management • Self-protective patterns • Unhealthy coping tools • A lack of accountability • Amy’s ‘Hot Potato Theory’ • Navigating difficult relationships
31/12/202347 minutes 47 seconds
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PART 2: Why You Tolerate Too Much Disrespect

Amy digs deeper into the topic of disrespect and what many of the reasons are for your high tolerance of it. Last week she covered several submitted responses to the question, "Why do YOU think you tolerate too much?" And this week she's tackling even more from over-empathizing, not communicating a boundary is breached to having no limits on extending others the benefit of the doubt. Tune in to hear Amy offer you further insight and your next steps towards changing these patterns and struggles for good! THIS EPISODE DISCUSSES: Believing love is 'enough' Over-empathizing Poor communication Avoidant behavior Not trusting your own judgment Making excuses for a lack of action + growth Using your self-awareness as an excuse As mentioned in this episode, the Boundary Setting for Trauma Survivors Course will reopen enrollment in January of the ne
19/12/202338 minutes 51 seconds
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Why You Tolerate Too Much Disrespect

Amy responds to your submissions about why you believe you tolerate too much and over-communicate your boundaries. She provides you with further guidance for introspection, deeper understanding into your fears and patterns as well as what your next steps are towards changing it! THIS EPISODE DISCUSSES: Fears of abandonment Fears of conflict Fears of backlash Boundary Setting with difficult people Tolerating mistreatment Childhood trauma Redefining love Healing from neglect Healing from childhood trauma Adulthood trauma People Pleasing patterns The resources mentioned in this episode to support you are linked below! - Access Amy&#39;s recommend Somatic Exercise program here. - Download <a h
12/12/202343 minutes 59 seconds
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Ways We're Taught Not to Have Boundaries

This week Amy shares the top 3 ways you&#39;re shown and taught to not have boundaries growing up. She provides insight and understanding into the fears, unhealthy coping mechanisms and survival strategies adapted from being exposed to this type of caregiver modeling. Amy leaves you with a list of self-reflective prompts to get started reviewing your own relationships and behavior patterns. This episode will support you in identifying any current struggles as we move into what Amy calls &quot;Boundary Season&quot; and help you bring awareness to what you&#39;d like to improve upon. If you&#39;re wanting additional support in the boundary setting process, especially after childhood or adulthood trauma, use this link to join the WAITLIST for the Boundary Setting for Trauma Survivors course re-opening this January 2024. THIS EPISODE DISC
05/12/202333 minutes 3 seconds
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When They Complain But Resist Changing

Amy discusses what is happening inside an individual who is unloading their pain but resistant to making any changes in their life. She digs into the different scenarios you may have encountered with friends, family or even partners and the distinctions between someone seeking validation, wanting guidance or just wanting to complain. She leaves you with insight into how to navigate these relationships in the most supportive ways possible for yourself and for them! THIS EPISODE DISCUSSES: Being resistant to growth Being open to growth Trauma-dumping Supportive boundaries Post-traumatic awareness Supportive friendships + relationships Taking advantage of professional support (free + paid)
28/11/202343 minutes 48 seconds
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Extreme Thinking

Amy discusses the concept of &quot;extreme thinking&quot; and what fuels the behavior pattern. She offers her insights into how this binary way of thinking can show up in mental health social media content and perpetuate victimhood. By the end of the episode, you&#39;re left with more knowledge on this topic as well as what you will want to work on improving to step away from thinking in extremes! THIS EPISODE DISCUSSES: Self-protection + self-preservation Binary Thinking / All or Nothing Thinking / Black + White Thinking / Extreme Thinking Self-trust Victim marketing Solutions for extreme thinking If you&#39;re enjoying these episodes of Connect the Dots B*tch, take a moment to leave me a 5-star rating on Apple or Spotify!
22/11/202334 minutes 26 seconds
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Here's Why You're Not Healing

In this episode, Amy highlights what is hindering you from healing. She emphasizes the tangible steps that MUST happen in order to move from having experienced trauma and emotional pain to processing, releasing and changing your adapted survival and coping strategies. THIS EPISODE DISCUSSES: Emotional healing Trauma healing Tangible action steps needed to heal. How to know if you are hindering your own healing. A self-qualifying list to help you determine if this episode is for you! Identifying too much with your pain. Making excuses for your trauma. Playing the victim. Taking accountability vs. victim blaming Rebuilding self-trust If you&#39;re ready to rebuild your foundation after experiencing trauma, abuse, childhood trauma or any type of emotional pain. And ready to heal your people pleasing, fears of abandonment, trust iss
14/11/202336 minutes 51 seconds
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Stop Your Attachment to Potential

Amy returns after a brief break to dig into why you&#39;re attaching to potential in your relationships. What happens when you attach? What&#39;s the underlying root problem that keeps you stuck and wanting to fix, save and rescue others? And most importantly, what tangible steps can you take today to begin making changes and breaking this pattern! THIS EPISODE DISCUSSES: Being a FIXER, SAVER/SAVIOR, RESCUER Attaching to potential in relationships Trying to prove + convince others of your worth. Blaming yourself for others not growing + changing. Childhood trauma Control issues Struggles with acceptance + self-respect. Boundaries For more resources on Boundary Setting, learn more about Amy&#39;s course<a href
07/11/202333 minutes 36 seconds
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The One About Anxiety + Trusting Others

Amy discusses why we experience anxiety especially in relationships. She talks about why anxiety is a symptom of 1 of 3 root problems and shares how to take steps to improve all of them. You&#39;ll hear about her personal struggles with an Anxiety Disorder in her teens and what helped her most in healing from it. THIS EPISODE DISCUSSES: Anxiety + Anxiety Disorders OCD Relational anxiety Self-trust and struggles with trusting others Coping strategies Nervous system dysregulation Personal stories from Amy about her anxiety struggles + more! If you&#39;d like access to the highly recommended Somatic Program Amy mentions in this episode, use this link: . If you&#39;d like to learn more about Rebuilding Sel
13/10/202341 minutes 28 seconds
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Confidence Comes from Self-Trust

Amy is back from her babymoon European adventure and sharing updates about her trip, insights and reflections before she dives into the topics of self-acceptance, self-confidence and self-trust! THIS EPISODE DISCUSSES: Amy's babymoon recap Personal growth reflections + insights from Amy herself Where does confidence come from (*Begins at 34:00 min mark) The practice of self-acceptance How are self-confidence + self-trust related Skills you want to learn while healing from trauma (4) Things Amy learned about herself from her recent trip If you've streamed this episode and are interested in learning more about the upcoming brand new Rebuilding Self-Trust mini-course, place your email on the waitlist to receive information once it launches this month (October 2023) here:
03/10/20231 hour 6 minutes 58 seconds
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Secure Relationship Secrets

Amy gives you a look inside a secure relationship from the perspective of someone who has experienced trauma from past abusive relationship. She offers you (5) insider tips to help you become aware of and normalize what you can expect to occur within a secure attachment. She also shares solutions on how to navigate conflict and confusion in the most supportive way! THIS EPISODE DISCUSSES: Secure attachments Healthy conflict resolution Emotional management Trauma triggers Boundary Setting Personal stories from Amy Personal life updates from Amy If you&#39;re enjoyed this episode or past Connect The Dots B*tch episodes, leave Amy a 5-star review on Apple or Spotify! Be sure to share this episode with your partner, friend or family member who may need this insight as well.
18/09/20231 hour 6 minutes 15 seconds
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The One About Ghosting

Amy provides you a full rundown of what &#39;ghosting&#39; is, what people commonly confuse it to be, why people ghost and how to cope with being ghosted! She offers you real-life examples of being ghosting, deconstructs what is happening for the ghost-er and ghost-ee and her expertise on how harmful and abusive this behavior can be. THIS EPISODE DISCUSSES: Ghosting Ghosting while dating Ghosting while in a committed relationship What does NOT constitute ghosting Abandonment fears How to cope with being ghosted Why you feel haunted by having been ghosting and can&#39;t move through the pain Practical steps for coping with being ghosted What to work on if you&#39;re wanting to ghost
12/09/20231 hour 10 minutes 52 seconds
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A New Phase of Life

Amy announces some big changes in her life, answers a few FAQs and shares how she&#39;s navigating it all, what she&#39;s prioritizing and how she&#39;s finding a healthy balance. She offers you key points and takeaways that not only pertain to what she&#39;s going through, but how they may connect to you and your life and relationships. THIS EPISODE DISCUSSES: A big life update from Amy! What needs are always important to prioritize, especially through life changes. Prenatal + childhood trauma Planning for the future Trauma triggers and emotional triggers Acknowledging your personal growth Amy&#39;s personal reflections on her own growth, old behavior patterns + how she&#39;s learning to be more flexible within these new life experiences!
05/09/202358 minutes 41 seconds
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Do You Need to Have an Honest Conversation?

Amy shares a quick life update about her recent travels and the &quot;adventure&quot; (re: disaster) that occurred on the way back home. She discusses how to approach having an honest conversation with someone, even if that individual is incapable or unwilling. You&#39;ll hear her deconstruct why sometimes we are uncomfortable in relationship to others (hint: their behavior may not align with our truth) and provides you clear insight and practical steps in navigating the nuances of difficult relationships! THIS EPISODE DISCUSSES: Life update from Amy! Honest, transparent conversations Navigating other people&#39;s dysregulated states Setting a boundary with someone who is dismissive. Difficult relationships Staying true to yourself in spite of how others behave Communicating to move through confilct.
22/08/202353 minutes 43 seconds
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The One About Healthy Conflict Resolution

Amy breaks down the necessary steps of navigating conflict in a healthy and supportive way. She discusses in depth the challenges many face, the steps most skip and how a history of trauma can impact your willingness and awareness to take these steps. THIS EPISODE WILL DISCUSS: The tangible steps to healthy conflict resolution in any type of relationship. Common conflict triggers + trauma triggers. Common struggles for trauma survivors in navigating conflict. What signs indicate your relationship is stuck + conflict cannot be resolved. The importance of repairing after conflict. In this episode, Amy mentions a helpful guide called Identifying Your Trauma Triggers which you can access and download here.
08/08/202348 minutes 41 seconds
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What Does Healing Look Like?

In this episode, Amy answers the question, &#39;what does healing really look like?&#39; With so much misinformation online, Amy discusses the nuances on the topic of trauma healing. Tune in to hear her debunk myths, identify misconceptions and educate you further on what works, what doesn&#39;t, what is clickbait online and what the overall truth is about healing from trauma! THIS EPISODE WILL DISCUSS: Myths, misconceptions + misguided information about trauma healing. Will safe people and environments trigger you? Does being alone (or single) safeguard you from pain? Will you still get triggered after trauma? What will trigger you after trauma? Understanding trauma triggers. Therapy? What works and what doesn&#39;t. + much more! If these podcast episodes are educating, entertaining and providing you value, please take a moment to leave Amy a 5-star review on Ap
01/08/202358 minutes 56 seconds
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Kute Blackson: Self-Trust, Freedom + The Magic of Surrender

Kute Blackson is a beloved inspirational speaker and transformational teacher. He speaks at countless events he organizes around the world as well as at outside events including A-Fest, YPO (Young Presidents’ Organization), and EO (Entrepreneurs’ Organization). He is a member of the Transformational Leadership Council, a select group of one hundred of the world’s foremost authorities in the personal development industry. Winner of the 2019 Unity New Thought Walden Award, Blackson is widely considered a next generation leader in the field of personal development. His mission is simple: To awaken and inspire people across the planet to access inner freedom, live authentically and fulfill their true life’s purpose. THIS EPISODE WILL DISCUSS: - Kute&#39;s personal journey to becoming an inspirational speaker + transformational teacher. - the importance of self-trust. - choosing your authentic truth over the plan someone else mapped out for y
25/07/202349 minutes 23 seconds
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Being “The Mature One”

Amy discusses the feelings that arise when you feel you always have to be the bigger person and what to do when you start feeling resentment, anger, annoyance with others. She offers real life examples and gives key steps to take to support yourself when you’re constantly growing but others aren’t in your life!
18/07/202344 minutes 29 seconds
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Amy discusses what triangulation is, how challenging it can be to navigate and real-life examples of how she does it! She deconstructs this form of abuse and manipulation to make it digestible and help you understand how it presents itself in relationships. THIS EPISODE DISCUSSES: - What triangulation can look and sound like. - Real-life examples of experiencing triangulation within a family. - How to navigate and what practical coping methods can you use for triangulation. - Life updates from Amy! - Insecurities - Boundary Setting - Toxic family dynamics Amy&#39;s brand-new online course for The Supportive People to Trauma Survivors has now launched and is mentioned in this episode of Connect The Dots B*tch! If you are navigating a challenging relationship with someone who may or may not be aware of their own trauma, this course is for you. If you are a trauma survivor wanting to be more supporti
11/07/202352 minutes 37 seconds
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Are Triggers Caused By Others?

Amy sits down to discuss how trauma and triggers are created and if it is in fact by other people! She deconstructs how to tell the difference between if your trauma is being triggered or if the person and the behavior is actually harmful to you. THIS EPISODE DISCUSSES: - how trauma and triggers are created - why we cope by blaming others - healthier ways to cope - how to tell the difference between if it&#39;s your trauma being triggered or it&#39;s actually harmful behavior. - why we find it easier to blame others - how to stop swinging the pendulum too far one way with binary ways of thinking and coping. - childhood trauma becoming adulthood trauma - the supportive tools you need for your triggers and your coping
30/06/202345 minutes 5 seconds
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Parental Modeling

Amy discusses the impact a parent or guardian’s modeling has on their children. How we aren’t just influenced by how we’re treated, but also by how those adults treat themselves and others. This episode discusses: - Emotional neglect, immaturity, abuse - Parental modeling - Generational trauma - Breaking generational patterns - Common mistakes and flawed beliefs about childhood trauma. - Personal stories from Amy&#39;s life and how she copes and has healed. If you enjoyed this episode or past episodes of Connect The Dots B*tch, leave Amy a 5-star review on Apple or Spotify to let us know! If this episode helped you, share it with a friend!
20/06/202338 minutes 46 seconds
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Post Traumatic Growth

Amy shares about her personal growth after reflecting on her recent vacation. She tells stories about what she’s previously struggled with, offers insights into enhancing your communication and self-awareness and discusses extending others grace!
14/06/202349 minutes 50 seconds
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Shiadanni: A Fusion of Pain, Growth and Healing Through Creative Expression

Shiadanni has become an online Icon for the Latin community, where she represents something that we never see; A powerful, glamorous, confident Mexican woman. She has made latinos proudly embrace their accent, their nationality and roots, which if everyone can agree, that is the true definition of being an influencer. With 5 million followers on TikTok, and 870,000 followers on Instagram, Shiadanni is growing her tribe, sharing genius comedy, or releasing her original music, she continues to give out pieces of her brain with the purpose of simply healing herself, while connecting with so many people on the way. THIS EPISODE WILL DISCUSS: - the healing properties of creative expression - the frustrations of being misperceived - creating healthy outlets for your anger - the fusion of pain, healing and growth through music and comedy - self-acceptance - creating a language with your fans - conforming vs. redefining success - feeling misunderstood - finding yourself late in life FOLLOW
30/05/20231 hour 1 minute 23 seconds
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Seek To Understand, Not Attack

Amy gets curious about people's reactions, judgments and attacks on others and offers her insights, observations and thoughts as to what drives that behavior. She discusses the importance of managing your own thoughts, behaviors and feelings and being responsible for what you put out into the world. If you struggle with unleashing your emotions on others or have someone in your life who does this, this episode is for you! This episode discusses: - Emotional mismanagement - Mental/emotional boundaries - Emotional maturity - Productive, healthy ways to navigate people's unnecessary projections/reactions
23/05/202354 minutes 58 seconds
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The Challenge of Mental + Emotional Boundaries

Amy discusses the challenges of setting and upholding those silent parameters you adhere to in your own mind and heart. The difficulties of working with thoughts and feelings versus tangible feedback when setting boundaries can be a huge challenge for highly sensitive individuals, empaths and trauma survivors. Listen as Amy shares her own personal struggles with mental and emotional boundaries and how she's learned and still learning to uphold them for herself! Episode discusses: - Mental + Emotional Boundaries - Being highly sensitive - Why most people struggle with 'unseen' boundaries. - How to 'mind your business' and not allow other people's struggles to consume you. If you're enjoying Connect The Dots B*tch, please leave a 5-start review on Apple or Spotify and click Subscribe!
16/05/202338 minutes 51 seconds
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Deison Afualo: Body Neutrality, Having Supportive Family, Breakups + Her 'Thank You Next' Era

Deison Afualo is a talented and entertaining LGBTQ+ influencer who has made a name for herself on both Instagram and TikTok with her comedic rants and daily vlogs. Along with her sister Drew Afualo, she hosts a comedy podcast called "Two Idiot Girls," where they react to hilarious and embarrassing stories submitted by fans. Deison was also part of the highly successful "Two Idiot Girls Tour," where they sold out over 350 tickets per show. Her quick wit, humor, and relatable content have made her a popular figure among her followers and fans. THIS EPISODE WILL DISCUSS: - growing up in a healthy, supportive family environment - how mental health struggles aren't always rooted in childhood - navigating a breakup - being in her 'Thank You Next' Era - mental health struggles - body neutrality + healing the relationship to your body - practical steps for improving your self-esteem and self-worth - what a successful, supportive family does to maintain their connection - setting boundaries ar
09/05/202353 minutes 18 seconds
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Rebuilding Self-Trust

In this week&#39;s episode, Amy deconstructs self-trust. She asks you to reflect on if you ever really had trust in yourself to begin with? Were you truly connected to the choices you were making in life and understanding of their value or were you disconnected and choosing what was modeled and taught to you. If you&#39;ve ever felt a lack of self-trust or are trying to rebuild trust with yourself (or with others), this episode is for you! For more support on identifying your values and rebuilding that self-trust, as mentioned in the episode, enroll in: The Course for Trauma Survivors Setting Boundaries | This episode discusses self-trust, trust issues, healthy boundaries, childhood trauma, parenting, self-neglect, and rebuilding trust with others.
25/04/202346 minutes 31 seconds
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Noble Gibbens: Emotionally Clueless to EQ Gangster

Amy invites her first-ever guest to the podcast! Noble is the person you'd least expect to be talking about feelings & emotions! An uncharacteristic fight with his wife a few years ago revealed a glaring issue: he was clueless when it came to handling his emotions.This West Point grad & former Army Ranger in the 82nd Airborne Division is now an EQ Practitioner and teaches Emotional Intelligence on his highly rated podcast, EQ Gangster, in his EQ Mafia Membership and through corporate coaching & consulting.Don't let the big beard & tattoos fool you - Noble is pure positive energy & passion! He brings 23 years' experience as an entrepreneur and international keynote speaker to help corporate clients, entrepreneurs, leaders & influencers get their emotions working for them, not against them. THIS EPISODE WILL DISCUSS: - healing from a people pleasing addiction - navigating the emotional transition as a parent as your child grows up - breaking generational trauma patterns - modeling, ho
18/04/20231 hour 18 minutes 28 seconds