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Beach Cops

English, Comedy, 1 season, 458 episodes, 6 days, 11 hours, 55 minutes
About
Ever feel anxious, worried, or like you're the only sane person on earth?  You're not alone.  Travel every week with Danish and O'Neill as they explore the gravity and nuance of human stupidity. 
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Slop Quest 34: Hawk Tuah Quest

FULL EP HERE: https://www.patreon.com/slopquest The boys try to stay clean for the algorithmic gods for the first 10 minutes and fail miserably. Then Andy an amazing water park idea. Ryan and Andy argue about the appeal of the old hawk tuah. They research the invention of the fictional “robot voice” then they deep dive on one of the craziest topics ever , realistic, historically accurate Bronze Age British versus Roman beef. This argument gets heated, and historical! Then O’Neill comes up with a Bronze Age reality show. Then the deep dive on a mom’s website and there’s some business call talk. It’s great!
7/8/202458 minutes, 35 seconds
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Slop Quest 33: You Had Me At “Throw Me Through The Door”

FULL EP HERE: https://www.patreon.com/slopquest Andy finds his erotic tastes have become more refined in a way that surprises everyone. Then O’Neill has some  existential questions for Andy. Then the boys reminisce about 1980’s Florida. Then they create a XXX comedy trio called The Three Boobs that uses Three Stooges style antics on a porno set. Then Andy’s buddy cleans up by being a Napster DJ in college. Then they rail against the rising cost of car insurance due to expensive novelty cars. Then Andrew has a dysfunctional relationship in college and gets thrown through a door.
7/1/202454 minutes, 56 seconds
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Slop Quest 32: Jerry Rocha Kicks Cancer in The Nutz

FULL EP HERE: https://www.patreon.com/slopquest On today’s episode we have one of the boys’ best buds of all time, Jerry Rocha's finally on. He details his harrowing battle with stage four cancer that was diagnosed as terminal. This is a brutal, terrifying and tear jerking account that's non stop laughs.
6/24/202453 minutes, 12 seconds
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Slop Quest 31: Crucified by Chocolate

FULL EP HERE: https://www.patreon.com/slopquest Andrew has another dream about Killer Kops. Ryan buys vintage toys. Andy’s dad sings him awake as a child . Then the boys discuss the saddest way to go fishing. Then they revisit the logistics of the “dildo in the hotdog bun” routine. Then there’s a lion that only goes pee peat night time. Then there’s an intense neighborhood situation with Aaron. Then Andy finds a Tesla owner who loves Elon too much. Then they talk about Ned Ludd and finally Pelosi gives an incredible speech.
6/17/20241 hour, 5 minutes, 29 seconds
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Slop Quest 30: A.I. Yurk Off

Full Ep HERE: https://www.patreon.com/slopquest
6/10/202455 minutes, 5 seconds
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Slop Quest 29: Cheese Caves

FULL EP HERE: https://www.patreon.com/slopquest O’Neill finds out that Japan has a racoon problem and perhaps art imitates life. Then Andy phones O’Neill with a killer idea for the opening scene of Killer Kops. Then Andy tells O’Neill about the secret government Cheese Caves and O’Neill is dubious about it. Then they talk about Crystal Pepsi and come up with a business plan to get guaranteed HJs from a Yoga Instructor.
6/3/202459 minutes, 37 seconds
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Slop Quest 28: Black Out

FULL EP HERE: https://www.patreon.com/slopquest Mike Black is in the studio again and it’s a fire episode! O’Neill uses his feet to flush toilets. Mike finds a self cleaning toilet in Chicago.  Andy pitches a train car hobo podcast and talks about the death of Airwolf. Then Mike makes Andrew talk about Fat Gambit.  The boys come up with a tiny penised Lothario who steals women from well endowed men. Then they initiate Mike into the details of their Killer Kops screenplay and then Ryan and Mike lose it while Andy reads an article on “dad privilege”. They also come up a new Big Rock Candy Mountain style song for shitty dads.
5/27/202453 minutes, 6 seconds
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Slop Quest 27: Mommy Farticles

FULL EP: https://www.patreon.com/slopquest Ready for your slop? A man demands his wife have another baby so he can keep breastfeeding himself. O’Neill learns about RFK’s brain worm and loses his marbles at the state of politics in America.  Then Andrew finds an article on fathers taking too long taking a dump and Ryan goes nuclear.
5/20/202458 minutes, 11 seconds
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Slop Quest 26: Hard as a Johnson

FULL EPISODE HERE: https://www.patreon.com/slopquest Ryan’s leashes new Boeing news on Andy then he heckles ICP at a comedy show.  The Rock doesn’t show up for work and pisses in empty water bottle. Andy gets heckled while taking a dump again. Then the boys role play as stolen valor four star generals at the mall. Then Alex Jones is President and has a two hour call in show every day. Finally O’Neill goes crazy on an article about why single moms shouldn’t date single dads. We end about ten minutes early because of s scheduling conflict but well run ten minutes later on the next one so don’t worry! It’s a great episode.
5/13/202451 minutes, 37 seconds
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Slop Quest 25: Double Tap

FULL EPISODE HERE: https://www.patreon.com/slopquest Andy accidentally drinks a bunch of children’s Benadryl and worries about blacking out on the show. Ryan has a 100 day cough. Scientists are breeding cows that fart less. Ryan reveals a plan that has China eating beans to speed up global warming. Andy solves O’Neill’s jealousy problem with the Hollywood system. A new business idea is born that’s legitimately good. Andy recounts an audition in the buff. Ryan gets a Slop Quest. People love the new name. Ryan is introduced to the lyrics of  Shave Em Dry.  Then some grandpa gun talk leads to a new buddy cop movie idea that O’Neill absolutely loves.
5/6/202456 minutes, 18 seconds
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Slop Quest 24: McGruff the Lie Dog

On this episode of Slop Quest (what a name!) we talk about a scary religious dream Andy has about O’Neill. Andy gets tricked by fake news again. Aaron’s mom is embroiled in some serious celebrity worship. Speaking of religion, Reddit gets mad at a religious post we made and leaves even more detailed comments. Then they talk about the secret karate moves of Jesus, bean talk and Dubai flooding. Then O’Neill tempts Obama fate again.  It’s a sloppy, sloppy time.
4/29/202453 minutes, 14 seconds
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Pork Report 23 : Bang Busters

Andy hears some of the ads YouTube inserts into the middle of our free video and the timing is incredible. O’Neill and Aaron bond over the piss drinking monkey idea again which upsets Andy. A drone spies on O’Neill while HE pees. A museum guard hangs up his own painting and gets fired prompting a discussion of whether or not hanging an unauthorized nude painting of yourself counts as flashing. Then a quote from O’Neill angers a fan and it becomes a Whazzup Man of Reddit post.
4/22/202451 minutes, 32 seconds
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The Pork Report 22: AI Whole Foods

O’Neill is back from the road with stories about drinking 184 beers , destroying toilets and being kicked out of museums. Andrew finds out a shocking revelation about his local robotic Whole Foods. Ryan burns off his eyebrows doing a fire walk and Andy explains to him how wires are not fake. Then Aaron and Ryan team up against Andy in their support of the “Truck Pee  Monkey” . And Aaron has a hoverboard door to door salesman show up.
4/15/202448 minutes, 39 seconds
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The Pork Report 21: Black Attack

https://www.factor75.com/ USE CODE: Beachcops50 and get 50% off. Mike Black joins the dudes for a wild ride. They debate everything from dildo length, bigfoot, gay strip clubs, 80's movies, The Duke Boys vs. Magnum P.I. and so much more. We also may have finally solved the mystery of Aaron's 5 AM porkers. It's an explosive episode with far-reaching ramifications.
4/8/202459 minutes, 31 seconds
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The Pork Report 20: P.T. Barnum

I hope you're ready to learn about male lactation cause that's our opener. Even Nate Diaz stops by to discuss it with us. Then we hop right into some Tony Robbins talk. After that, it's more corporate murders. Then Andrew talks about one of the stupidest people that ever lived. After that, Andy's neighbor tries to bang him or does she? You be the judge. Then O'Neill makes up his own demon to pray to for good luck. Also, Aaron sends us an alarming text, so tighten your suspenders cause we're on the highway to the danger zone.
4/1/202454 minutes, 56 seconds
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The Pork Report 19: Boeing Boeing Gone

This week we're back in the old O'Neill family studio. We open with some DeWitt physical therapy talk and he reveals a shocking revelation. Then we discuss Boeing's new assassination program. After that, it's Goggins' time. Then a shower kills a man. After that, we find out about a shoplifting ring bust right in our own backyard. Then it's time to save the hole. It's fun, it's fresh and it's time to eat. Come get the slop!
3/25/202455 minutes, 36 seconds
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The Pork Report 18: Spinal Poverty

FULL EP@https://www.patreon.com/beachcops Andy has spinal poverty and needs to go to physical therapy.  Aaron comes back from The Big Easy with some wild stories.  O’Neill scares Aaron and Andy about jury duty.  Andy repitches Mommy Milkers for serious feedback and Aaron thinks it’s actually pretty good.  Ryan makes fun of Andy for needing to watch the Hulk episode of Mr Roger’s then he insists that women are dirtier than dudes.  Then O’Neill tells ghost stories that infuriate Andy. Then O’Neill raps about Andy’s spiders of light with Aaron doing the backing vocal track. 
3/18/20241 hour, 45 seconds
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The Pork Report 17: Black Hole Safari

https://www.factor75.com/ CODE: BEACHCOPS50 GET 50% OFFOn this episode of The Pork Report, Andy’s aunt accidentally posts an AI picture of a vagina in space on her Facebook page believing it to be a telescope photo of a black hole, his porno friend tries to drive him to Mexico to get wiener stem cells and Aaron’s neighbor starts an indoor dog gymnasium.  Then Ryan blows the lid off the gay lion story and they write a strongly worded letter to the official who accused gay people of corrupting the lions. Also, Andy tries to get O’Neill to listen to his new pitch for the novel “Dolores”.
3/11/20241 hour, 1 minute, 33 seconds
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The Pork Report 16: Diddy's Wonka Garden

On today’s episode of the pork report, Ryan and Andrew discuss New breaking news about P. Diddy. Then they find out that a lot of boomer musicians were real creepers . Andy finds a Scottish AI Wonka themed immersive experience that is truly dog Dookie. Finally Aaron has a softball update that will hit you right in the chest.
3/4/202457 minutes, 47 seconds
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The Pork Report 15 Mount Smelleverest

O’Neill talks medical strikes in South Korea, Andrew gets advice on how to fix his back finally. Then they talk about the Civil War and O’Neill draws a hard line in the sand. We help Peppertooth with more magical incantations for his Dungeons and Dragons campaign and O’Neill invents several drug based businesses and they use a cellphone stenographer to try and capture some of their amazing ideas.
2/26/202455 minutes, 10 seconds
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The Pork Report 14: You'll Drink Your Teeth, No Sticky, No Crunchy

Head to https://www.factor75.com/pages/podcast?c=BEACHCOPS50&mealsize=8-1&c_comms=PERCENT&utm_source=podcast&utm_medium=cpm&utm_campaign=podcast50off&utm_content=act_podcast_podcastads&discount_comm_id=7267f20b-a39f-4440-9ca2-1404329a2b419&dis_channel=audio and get 50% off with code BEACHCOPS50. FULL EPISODE @https://www.patreon.com/beachcops Andy is the bionic Rite Aid man, more toilet twerking occurs, and we help a listener buy medical equipment on Amazon. There’s some live GERDing, Ryan bullies a kid in Taekwondo and gets threatened by the teacher, Andrew gets a swirly from his karate instructor and they work on a Chinese action movie idea.  It’s a tor du force in the new ATC studios!
2/19/202459 minutes
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The Pork Report 13: Hog Wild

FULL EPISODE HERE: https://www.patreon.com/beachcops DeWitt and O’Neill are back in the studio with some more slop! Andy has a lot of female friends who think they can sell feet pics, Ryan pulls a gun on Ranaziz, and Andy remembers the most insane swashbuckling movie of all time, Zorro The Gay Blade.  O‘Neill‘s mom gets scammed and makes $20 bucks. Andy gets stoner scammed and loses $40. Then they talk scrap metal and an amazing horror movie premise!
2/12/20241 hour, 3 minutes, 1 second
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The Pork Report 12: Duke of Earl w/Big Earl Skakel

FULL EPISODE HERE: https://www.patreon.com/beachcops Big Earl Skakel is finally back and it’s a wiiiiiiiiild ride. O’Neill talks about his documentary project with What Up Pete and Earl himself. Then we talk Vince McMahon doodie accusations,  dramatic readings of sleazeball texts and for some reason Earl re-enacts funny scenes from the 1970’s sitcom “The White Shadow”. Then the boys roast his old toilet and it gives Earl a boner then they help him write some new jokes. Wow, it’s a tour de force episode!
2/5/202454 minutes, 19 seconds
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The Pork Report 11: Dark Tirades

FULL EPISODE HERE:https://www.patreon.com/beachcops Sooey! It’s the Pork Report and it’s time for your slop! Ryan tests everyone for psychopathy using this one weird trick. Then they talk AI girlfriends, a company that pays for doodies, and OF bikini farm work by O’Neill. Andy talks about the South Carolina Lizard Man and his grandma scaring him with Raw Head Bloody Bones. Then a Satanic cult raises its head in a beautiful neighborhood. 
1/29/202457 minutes, 29 seconds
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The Pork Report 10: Seafood Tower Anxiety

FULL EPISODE HERE: https://www.patreon.com/beachcops   On this episode of the Pork Report we have more of the sloppiest news you can use! 10 foot aliens, Oprah has a body double,  and we start multiple amazing screenplay ideas. O’Neill races to finish a seafood tower in a mere hour and half.  Then he plans a seafood based crowd work only comedy special. One of Aaron’s family members wins a car. And he never gets to see it.  There’s some serious fondue talk. Then the boys do a deep dive on the great TruckNuts war and can’t get enough of the business buffoonery.  It’s a great one!
1/22/202458 minutes, 36 seconds
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The Pork Report 9: Skate or Die

FULL EPISODES @https://www.patreon.com/beachcops                                       The dudes are back and it's guns a blazing! First they talk about fluoride french fries. Then it's airplane disasters. After that they jump into tick bites that result in a pickle of  predicament. Then it's softball talk, Tony Hawk and Jesse Ventura joins the show. Come one, come all, it's The Pork Report.
1/15/202458 minutes, 36 seconds
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The Pork Report 8: No Alarmo

MORE EPISODES HERE: https://www.patreon.com/beachcops                            We're back in the old studio while Aaron and ATC close for the holidays. And honestly, it's great to be back! We quickly stumble into chimpanzee nut smugglers. Then we visit the worst person on YouTube. After that, it's a deep dive into the history of truck nuts. Then we reach our magnum opus, an invention that might change the world for the better...it's the ultimate car alarm for the homophobic car thief. Strap in, hunker down and let your mind go limp cause The Pork Report has got the wheel. Enjoy! 
1/8/20242 hours, 12 minutes, 43 seconds
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The Pork Report 7: Year In Repoo

FULL EPISODE HERE: https://www.patreon.com/beachcops                                       In this episode of the ground breaking journalistic power house of The Pork Report,  the boys discuss disposable corn meal beds for hotels and the ensuing rat problem that surely to follow. Then it's super pigs from Canada and the American weaponry that might save us. O’Neill reveals the most dangerous day of the year for wieners and a baked bean factory ends up with rubber balls in the beans! Also, Aaron wins more softball tournaments and cements his legacy as the greatest player the game has ever seen.
1/1/202457 minutes, 1 second
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The Pork Report 6: They've Got Thumbs!

FULL EPISODE HERE:https://www.patreon.com/beachcops                                   DeWitt and O’Neill are back in the studio and breaking incredible news. First up, O’Neill talks about a new scourge facing humanity, dolphins with thumbs. We talk about the forgotten Christmas movie, Invasion USA, men who don’t buy toilet paper for their girlfriends then Ryan creates another toilet based trampoline idea. Then Andrew reveals medical procedures he has performed. Ryan uses this to volunteer him to save lives on flights. The boys start a new business for straight shooting medical advice. Then they come up with a new Elf on The Shelf variant. 
12/26/202352 minutes, 38 seconds
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The Pork Report 5: Cambodia, The Feeling's Forever

FULL EPISODE HERE:https://www.patreon.com/beachcops                                               The Pork Report is hitting its stride! O’Neill is back from Cambodia where he was all the children’s lucky charm. He also has unbelievable food deals and peanuts that make you take a dump in your pants. DeWitt springs a new theme song on O’Neill as well as a creamy new Christmas video. Then Ryan talks about a drunk Santa fresh from prison that his dad brought over. Andy’s grandpa hands him a collection of loaded rifles to play with on Christmas that nearly got him killed as a child. Then we get a Christmas visit from Rowdy Uncle Ronnie. 
12/18/202346 minutes, 49 seconds
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The Pork Report Ep 4: Osama Drama

Listen to the full episode @https://www.patreon.com/beachcops
12/4/202350 minutes, 1 second
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The Pork Report Ep 3: Dude, We Ate Like Kings

GREEN CHEF get $250 off with code beachcops250 at https://www.greenchef.com/                                                                                FULL EPISODE @https://www.patreon.com/beachcops                                             On This Pork Report style episode of Beach Cops, Ryan tells Andrew about the joys of life on the road. A heroin junkie invades Great Wolf Lodge and leaves syringes everywhere. The boys discuss billionaire brontosaurus secrets and the forgotten 80’s classic “Baby: Secret of The Lost Legend” and how Andy was forced to study cryptids at elementary school. Andy finds out about the Sasquatch “gifting rock” and Ryan debuts a 1970’s gem “Bigfoot and Wildboy” and it’s truly unbelievable. Then we hear O’Neill on a legit baseball bat commercial which leads to an amazing Aaron underdog softball story!  
11/27/202357 minutes, 17 seconds
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Beach Cops Episode 221: The Friendly Ghost Conundrum

To listen to this full episode and get other bonus content, please go to our PATREON: https://www.patreon.com/beachcopsA homeless dude helps "decorate" a giant skeleton in a fancy neighborhood. O’Neill has a ghostly proposition for Andy, but it quickly devolves into a Black Mirror situation. Andy finds a risque Irish woman on Instagram. Ryan has a “broccoli mission” dream that Andy tries to decode. Danish finds out about the urban legend of the Death Cat. A caller leaves a scary message that Andy initially doubts but later believes. Also, Ryan finds the ceiling of the podcast and measures it. 
11/20/202357 minutes, 41 seconds
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Beach Cops Episode 220: Diet Coke Wishes

To listen to this full episode and get other bonus content, please go to our PATREON: https://www.patreon.com/beachcopsSomeone leaves season’s greetings in the toilet at ATC for O’Neill. Then, Danish finds a Diet Coke in the other bathroom, causing them to imagine a situation where a billionaire grants wishes to whoever drinks the toilet soda. Ryan pitches a traveling van of risque circus performers. Andy wears orthopedic flip flops, but no one believes him. Ryan then tries to get Andy to hang out with a chimpanzee, but Andy doesn’t want to deal with the diaper.  Ryan then goes on a rant about some kind of mysterious softball powers.
11/13/202355 minutes, 26 seconds
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Beach Cops Episode 219: Handsome Little Boy Rum

To listen to this full episode and get other bonus content, please go to our PATREON: https://www.patreon.com/beachcops On this episode, the gang talks Book Fair books, school stores, and Little Caesar’s Pan-Pan. Also, Andrew recounts a story of being jumped in elementary school and using his fat to his advantage. O’Neill intelligently breaks down how the insults of 4th graders wouldn’t hurt as much as an adult. Then, they argue about the size of ships in a bottle. After that, they invent new types of rum that would feature Andy as a mascot figure dressed as a little Dutch boy. They finally talk about South American/Mexican alien mummies, which inspires O’Neill to try speaking Spanish. Then, Andy reads comments on the Whazzup Man of Reddit AITA.
11/6/202355 minutes, 30 seconds
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Beach Cops Episode 218: Diaper Neighbors

Go to GreenChef.com/60beachcops and use code 60beachcops to get 60% off plus free shipping. GreenChef: “The #1 Meal Kit for Eating Well”To listen to this full episode and get other bonus content, please go to our PATREON: https://www.patreon.com/beachcopsAaron has an insane divorce story from his neighborhood. We offer him a series of Crunchwrap based gambits and see what he’ll take. Andy’s neighbor washes his clothes with a hose and uses adult diapers for the craziest thing. Aaron’s neighbor tries to give him meat. Andy does more back-pain talk, and the fans weigh in. Then, he gets on the floor and does stretches. 
10/30/202355 minutes, 37 seconds
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Beach Cops Episode 217: Pork Report Edition

To listen to this full episode and get other bonus content, please go to our PATREON: https://www.patreon.com/beachcops Another fantastic, classy, dignified episode of the Pork Report with Ryan and Andrew. Andy buys a soundboard for a dollar and immediately gets decision fatigue. Andrew and Ryan try to create a game show called “Read O’Neill’s Mind”, but it doesn’t pan out. Then, they talk Cadbury turkeys and nacho cheese turkeys. Andy shows O’Neill Gymkata for the first time, and they brainstorm more Olympic-based action films.  
10/23/20231 hour, 8 minutes, 32 seconds
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Beach Cops Episode 216: Pork Chops the Movie

To listen to this full episode and get other bonus content, please go to our PATREON: https://www.patreon.com/beachcops Ryan talks about politicians working way past the retirement point, and Aaron recounts amazing movies. Then, O’Neill and DeWitt create an action movie called Pork Chops about karate police partners who fight children.
10/16/202356 minutes, 14 seconds
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Beach Cops Episode 215: Porta-Potty

To listen to this full episode and get other bonus content, please go to our PATREON: https://www.patreon.com/beachcopsThe gang discusses a brand new business idea, where Andy dresses as a pig and lays in a trough, while O’Neill acts as a barker for people who are tired of waiting in lines for the porta-potties at music festivals. Then, a firefighter hero sends in an incredible video, and we make the case for higher pay for some of our country’s bravest workers. 
10/9/20231 hour, 1 minute, 41 seconds
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Beach Cops Episode 214: The Extra Classy Pork Report Edition

To listen to this full episode and get other bonus content, please go to our PATREON: https://www.patreon.com/beachcops Jeff is out of town, so to keep it together, DeWitt and O’Neill decide to ditch the cargo shorts and dress up like two true gentlemen. O’Neill asks Andy to plunder-wash his laundry for $1.75. Aaron gets “kind of“ horny. Andy’s friend Burt stays up all night dreaming of $50,000. O’Neill and Andy role play a car dealership where Andy keeps being mistaken for a woman. O’Neill roasts character testimonies for Danny Masterson. Then, it’s business ideas galore! Including their own character witness testimony business.
10/2/202353 minutes
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Beach Cops Episode 213: They're on the East Coast

Go to GreenChef.com/60beachcops and use the code 60beachcops to get 60% off and free shipping. Green Chef: "The #1 meal kit for eating well"! To listen to this full episode and get other bonus content, please go to our PATREON: https://www.patreon.com/beachcopsAndrew needs to be hypnotized to fall asleep and also can’t keep in touch with his relatives on the East coast.  Ryan takes umbrage with the lyrics to ”Bongos” and tries to rewrite them. Danish recaps an emotionally abusive new 90 Day Fiancé. Andrew asks the gang a hypothetical question, and then it’s Danish and O’Neill vs Andy in a TLC reality show pitch off. 
9/25/202359 minutes, 25 seconds
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Beach Cops Episode 212: The Open Letter

To listen to this full episode and get other bonus content, please go to our PATREON: https://www.patreon.com/beachcops Listeners come together to write O’Neill an open letter one line at a time to get him to stop his bad boy zone behavior. The letter predictably goes off the rails. After that, the gang explains an idea DeWitt and O'Neill once had to Aaron. Andy’s back goes out again, as Danish shows a beautiful horse, which Ryan thinks is a psyop. Then, they talk about the diarrhea plane. 
9/17/202356 minutes, 46 seconds
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Beach Cops Episode 211: The Charming Fart Debate

Helix is offering 20% off all mattress orders AND two free pillows for our listeners! Go to HelixSleep.com/BEACHCOPS and use the code HELIXPARTNER20. This is their best offer yet, and it won't last long! With Helix, better sleep starts now. To listen to this full episode and get other bonus content, please go to our PATREON: https://www.patreon.com/beachcops On this one, the gang debates if there is ever a “charming” way to blast a big old beefer in front of a potential significant other to score points. Once again, Ryan gives sound dating advice, and the boys test their knowledge of the states and capitals, while Danish plays cannon sound effects over them. It’s a good one! 
9/11/202356 minutes, 33 seconds
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Beach Cops Episode 210: The Bad Boy Zone

To listen to this full episode and get other bonus content, please go to our PATREON: https://www.patreon.com/beachcopsThis one starts with the gang recovering from the horrific Hurricane Hilary. Aaron gets a controversial text from a famous comedian. Ryan tries to come up with a new Desert Eagle business, and Danish creates a hypothetical cartel art career for Andy. They debate the best ingredients for traditional ancient medicine. Then, Andy makes AI tell O’Neill he’s a very bad boy. AI doesn't stop there - it tells O'Neill the terrible fate he's facing if he doesn't change his bad boy ways. 
9/4/202355 minutes, 30 seconds
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Beach Cops Episode 209: Desert Eagle

Helix is offering 20% off all mattress orders AND two free pillows for our listeners! Go to HelixSleep.com/BEACHCOPS. This is their best offer yet, and it won't last long! With Helix, better sleep starts now. To listen to this full episode and get other bonus content, please go to our PATREON: https://www.patreon.com/beachcops On this episode, O’Neill has some tough but fair relationship advice for a morgue employee. Also, O’Neill talks horror movies. Andrew discusses his intense ballet training and then he proves he has a 12 inch vert. Danish and O’Neill make him post to Reddit’s AITA, and he’s too scared to do it. 
8/28/202355 minutes, 2 seconds
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Beach Cops Episode 208: Styrofoam Jail

To listen to this full episode and get other bonus content, please go to our PATREON: https://www.patreon.com/beachcopsOn this episode of Beach Cops, Aaron tells us about a styrofoam jail from his youth. Ryan grills Andy about a Disney audition that featured adult content. Danish reveals Obama’s secret naughty letters, and the gang has some insane theories. Then, they talk about the underrated TV show, Alien Nation. And, Andrew shows everyone his new DIY washing machine.
8/21/20231 hour, 56 seconds
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Beach Cops Episode 207: Codeine Darkness

Helix is offering 20% off all mattress orders AND two free pillows for our listeners! Go to HelixSleep.com/BEACHCOPS. This is their best offer yet, and it won't last long! With Helix, better sleep starts now. To listen to this full episode and get other bonus content, please go to our PATREON: https://www.patreon.com/beachcops On this episode of Beach Cops, Andy is recovering from Covid, and the Codeine darkness has his soul. Danish has some shocking manatee news, and O’Neill can’t stand a restaurant that serves gross ice cream. Plus, a new mash-up song of shame is revealed.   
8/14/20231 hour, 2 minutes, 18 seconds
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Beach Cops Episode 206: Nerf Wars Cold Sores

To listen to this full episode and get other bonus content, go to our PATREON: https://www.patreon.com/beachcopsAndy brings in Nerf guns, and it makes the opening of the show extremely chaotic. Then, he gets (fake) cheese lip so bad it gives him a lip pimple. He also has some new surf tales  and claims he popped the supposed lip pimple boogie boarding. O’Neill makes fun of Andy’s favorite spice shoppe. After that, there’s more Slingblade and Mrs. Doubtfire improv. Ronald Reagan drops in on them. Danish introduces Andy to Ice Spice via Obama’s new playlist. Ryan then raps about his juicy buttocks. 
8/7/202353 minutes, 23 seconds
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Beach Cops Episode 205: Margarita Hiking

To listen to this full episode and get other bonus content, go to our PATREON: https://www.patreon.com/beachcopsOn this episode of Beach Cops, Ryan goes hiking drunk, Andrew recounts an old story about Taco Bell Gorditas that goes wrong. A dude gets shown racy pictures on a plane by a lady, and Air Marshal Andrew catches them. Danish reads a political article about farts. Then, they find out about one of the funniest police evidence seizures of all time.
7/31/202354 minutes, 34 seconds
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Beach Cops Episode 204: Jeff Dunham's Dandies

To listen to this full episode and get other bonus content, go to our PATREON: https://www.patreon.com/beachcops O’Neill has a family incident with fireworks and then launches so many Roman candles he looks like a chimney sweep. Then, the gang imagines Andy’s "pirate" teaming up with Somali pirates. There’s some more black powder talk. After, there’s some AI talk mixed with some Scottish Lords talk that gets derailed by a "special" headstand request from O’Neill. The gang imagines what would happen if Jehovah’s Witness ladies were super turned-on, while Aaron critiques their conversion rates. Aaron breaks down all of Jeff Dunham’s puppets, and the gang goes nuts. 
7/24/20231 hour, 50 seconds
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Beach Cops Episode 203: Goofin' Through the Door

To listen to this full episode and get other bonus content, go to our PATREON: https://www.patreon.com/beachcops Andrew “thinks” he saw an extremely tall lady adult film being filmed in an alley. Someone’s wife goofs through the metal security door and then her and Andy do prairie dog noises, while O’Neill is on the toilet. Andy finds out about an AI app that generates erotic stories and goes nuts with it and toys with the idea of using it as a wonderful anniversary gift. Then, they use the app to make a story about Ryan and Aaron kissing. Andy seeks validation for his robot model from a very unlikely source. Danish gets a heartfelt email from a fan and Dementia Ronald Reagan gives him some solid love advice. 
7/17/202358 minutes, 32 seconds
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Beach Cops Episode 202: Prairie Dog Noises

Helix is offering 20% off all mattress orders AND two free pillows for our listeners! Go to HelixSleep.com/BEACHCOPS. This is their best offer yet, and it won't last long! With Helix, better sleep starts now. To listen to this full episode and get other bonus content, go to our PATREON: https://www.patreon.com/beachcops On this episode of Beach Cops, Ryan reveals that his goofy wife won’t stop doing prairie dog noises, and it’s driving him insane. There‘s some kidney selling talk, and then Andy reveals an industry secret that a big time producer and friend of Ari Shaffir‘s is very concerned about Ari's out of control hemorrhoids. Andy pleads for more writing assignments, and they roast the Penn State dog professor (he's a man, not a dog...just listen to eliminate any confusion).
7/10/20231 hour, 3 minutes, 47 seconds
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Beach Cops Episode 201: Dolores

To listen to this full episode and get other bonus content, go to our PATREON: https://www.patreon.com/beachcops Andy gets stuck in his own apartment and has to drill his way out. Ryan talks about Breaking Away and Indiana history. Then, the stream goes down again. A butter fire is suggested for burning notebooks. Andy enjoys VR adult content, where he has to outrun male genitalia, which Danish and O’Neill turn into a gym business ideas. Then, Danish does a bio of Corn Hogger, and Andy insists there used to be nudity on a Disney ride. For the grand finale, Andrew has an unhinged "Sunday" idea for a story called “Dolores”.
7/3/20231 hour, 53 seconds
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Beach Cops Episode 200 Extravaganza

Helix is offering 20% off all mattress orders AND two free pillows for our listeners! Go to HelixSleep.com/BEACHCOPS. This is their best offer yet, and it won't last long! With Helix, better sleep starts now.To listen to this full episode and get other bonus content, go to our PATREON: https://www.patreon.com/beachcops Come celebrate 200 episodes with a Mad Lib the fans sent in that doesn’t match up with the end result, a trip to the farm that enrages DeWitt , and some touching drunk calls from fans. You’re in for a treat! Holiday. Celebrate.
6/26/202358 minutes, 15 seconds
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Beach Cops Episode 199: Drive-thru Mysteries

To listen to this full episode and get other bonus content, go to our PATREON: https://www.patreon.com/beachcops On this episode of Beach Cops, the gang talks about catering movies to 4DX seating, which Andy loves. Then, Ryan makes fun of Yoda’s clothes, which really bothers Andy. Andrew reminds the gang how much his dad loves "Cool Runnings". Danish talks about using a sexy cashier voice to say sensual stuff through the drive thru speakers. This confuses O’Neill, who tries to produce his own news segment. After that, Andrew reminds them of the hot dog prank Danish and O’Neill tried to pull years ago.
6/19/20231 hour, 2 minutes, 56 seconds
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Beach Cops Episode 198: Ancient Andys

To listen to this full episode and get other bonus content, go to our PATREON: https://www.patreon.com/beachcops Helix is offering 20% off all mattress orders AND two free pillows for our listeners! Go to HelixSleep.com/BEACHCOPS. This is their best offer yet, and it won’t last long! With Helix, better sleep starts now. Andy starts the show, talking about his tragically famous Dutch ancestors, and O’Neill shares his amazing new invention for hard-to-crack pistachio shells. Then the boys do Thundercat impressions for no apparent reason. After, O’Neill gets really angry at Andy, who is going nuts laughing at "certain" videos online and laments the state of entertainment. Aaron drops a late-in-the-show bomb about his Instagram recommendations that cuts one Beach Cop deep.
6/12/20231 hour, 2 minutes, 1 second
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Beach Cops Episode 197: Corn Hogger

To listen to this full episode and get other bonus content, go to our PATREON: https://www.patreon.com/beachcops On this episode, Andrew has a disappointing urination stream due to a soap fiasco. Danish goes to Disneyland, and people walk off a ride in the middle of it. Andy finds body grooming tips on YouTube (guess which body part) that blow his mind. Then, Danish finds a human interest story about a DnD nerd, who uses a “robot“ voice at McDonald’s, and O’Neill and Andy prepare to rage until they hear the news reporter’s name…. 
6/5/20231 hour, 11 seconds
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Beach Cops Episode 196: Gone with the Biznass

Helix is offering 20% off all mattress orders AND two free pillows for our listeners! Go to HelixSleep.com/BEACHCOPS. This is their best offer yet, and it won't last long! With Helix, better sleep starts now. To listen to this full episode and get other bonus content, go to our PATREON: https://www.patreon.com/beachcops On this episode of Beach Cops, Aaron finally becomes one with Beach Cops as he plays Mad Libs with the boys. O’Neill gets some cool names for possible future kids. They come up with some more buffet style biznass talk, particularly a great new way to make $10 a pop. Then, Andrew brings out the Spring Break Uncle Ronnie songs, and O’Neill has no memory of his part in it and is full of shame. It ends with both Danish and O’Neill setting each other up for great knock knock jokes, while also ruining Andy’s. 
5/29/20231 hour, 6 minutes, 54 seconds
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Beach Cops Episode 195: Sippin' on Tuna Water

Be forewarned: Aaron is on fire with the wordplay this episode, so plan accordingly. Andy comes out of the gates with excitement over having something in common with Mark Normand. What he has in common makes Danish and O’Neill ask Andy how far he’d go for his "special interest". Andy tells a harrowing tale of drinking port wine and passing out from blood sugar issues. The gang grapples with a Black Mirror style question about drinking, bathing, and only having tuna water for all your water needs for a year.  Danish gets into some infuriating "lion talk" and then Aaron shares his love for GRR Martin’s "Beauty and The Beast". O’Neill goes over all his cool childhood weapons, and there's a tragic reveal from Danish. They then discuss how to eat with chopsticks and a Thai restaurant refuses to let Andy eat with them and gives him a spoon instead. That inspires a new business idea for a chopsticks based media company.
5/22/20231 hour, 18 minutes, 10 seconds
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Beach Cops Episode 194: Throwing Stars and the Two Philosophical Questions

Helix is offering 20% off all mattress orders AND two free pillows for our listeners! Go to HelixSleep.com/BEACHCOPS. This is their best offer yet, and it won't last long! With Helix, better sleep starts now. To listen to this full episode and get other bonus content, go to our PATREON: https://www.patreon.com/beachcops We open with O’Neill being delighted that Chinese throwing stars are legal again in Indiana. O’Neill then tries to take credit for getting Andy off drugs and requests a wish as compensation. Aaron talks about a new softball rival and injury. This leads O’Neill to come up with a pair of cutting-edge questions that build the backbone of a new philosophy. Andy and Danish do NOT think these are “good” questions. O‘Neill doubles down that these are the hard-hitting questions that MUST be asked. Andy thinks these questions are just the intrusive thoughts of a mentally ill person. Proving that's not the case, O’Neill becomes Andy’s lawyer in a fictional case about kissing. Andy shows everyone his new robot. Then, they explore the business possibilities of the "Two Question Scenario".
5/15/20231 hour, 7 minutes, 36 seconds
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Beach Cops Episode 193: Strawberries and Cream

To listen to this full episode and get other bonus content, go to our PATREON: https://www.patreon.com/beachcopsThe show opens with more misremembered historical ramblings from DeWitt, including a guy who ate strawberries and cream until he exploded. O’Neill suggests that Andy’s vision board needs more business goals and less stuff about butts. Then, there’s some Vince McMahon talk. Danish debuts a new quote song that makes us all proud! There's also another song about Andy that melts our minds. 
5/8/20231 hour, 3 minutes, 57 seconds
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Episode 192: Six Nuts

To listen to this full episode and get other bonus content, go to our PATREON: https://www.patreon.com/beachcops On this episode, Andy opens with a Romeo and Juliet fart parody song based off the 1969 movie, and O’Neill is not impressed. Then, O’Neill has an insane list of demands for the aliens should they ever kidnap him. Danish talks about Israeli cars that run on hummus. Then, he pulls up a viral video of a woman who claims she would please her man at least six times a day, which leads to a debate if that would be good or not. The show ends with a huge bombshell, as Andy reveals he was part of a NASA brainwashing program as a child.
5/1/20231 hour, 7 minutes, 21 seconds
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Episode 191: Trophy Time!

To listen to this full episode and get other bonus content, go to our PATREON: https://www.patreon.com/beachcopsAaron wins a gigantic trophy for softball, and O’Neill goes for stolen softball trophy valor antics. Then, they ask Andy if he would have his mouth surgically altered as a way to become more popular. After that, they roast the lineup from Coachella. Andy has an amazing business idea called "Fart Burger", and NO ONE recognizes how great this idea is. Finally, O'Neill has Andy perform a series of monologues to endorse his business.
4/24/20231 hour, 2 minutes, 7 seconds
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Episode 190: Slingblade and Mrs. Doubtire So Crazy in Love

To listen to this full episode and get other bonus content, go to our PATREON: https://www.patreon.com/beachcopsOn this episode of Beach Cops, Andy has been watching more Milf Manor. O’Neill fears the Presidential power of Bill Clinton’s sexual energy. Danish exposes a fitness beef between John Little and Earl Skakel. Then, an improv sensation sweeps the nation as Andy and Ryan take on the roles of Slingblade and Mrs. Doubtfire as they fall in love. Finally, Danish finds a post about redhead discrimination that infuriates O’Neill to the bone.
4/17/20231 hour, 17 seconds
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Episode 189: The Parking Lot Challenge

To listen to this full episode and get other bonus content, go to our PATREON: https://www.patreon.com/beachcops Helix is offering 20% off all mattress orders including the Helix Kids mattress AND two free pillows for our listeners! Go to HelixSleep.com/BeachCops. This is their best offer yet and it won’t last long! With Helix, better sleep starts now. On this episode of Beach Cops, Andy reveals that hot nurses on Reddit are getting a little too crazy on duty (doodie). Danish reveals a nefarious turd related plot on Broadway involving the Clintons. Then, O‘Neill gives his own science related report, and it’s JUST as insane as Andy’s, if not more so. Danish plays “smart music” to help the science get written! A LOT of very smart discussions this episode.
4/10/20231 hour, 5 minutes, 7 seconds
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Episode 188: Basketball Diaries & the Ghost Pepper Challenge Science Report

To listen to this full episode and get other bonus content, go to our PATREON: https://www.patreon.com/beachcopsThis one starts with the gang talking about Andrew being concussed with a basketball while he was dressed as a viking in high school. Then, things get real when the Ghost Pepper Challenge mentioned on the previous episode becomes a truly scientific paper, spoken by DeWitt, transcribed by Danish, and heckled by O’Neill. You will enjoy the highly scientific, factual writing. 
4/3/20231 hour, 4 minutes, 55 seconds
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Episode 187: Top of the Mornin' to Ye!

To listen to this full episode and get other bonus content, go to our PATREON: https://www.patreon.com/beachcops It’s St. Patrick’s day on Beach Cops, and Ryan demands respect for his heritage. Andy reveals he is 2% Vietnamese, and Ryan says he can tell.  Then, the gang comes up with the new craze: The Ghost Pepper Challenge. Speaking of peppers, listener Hot Hot Peppers has advice for O’Neill about curing his wendigo problem. Also, we have a fantastic new quote compilation from new deputy Jake that may just earn us many more patrons!
3/27/20231 hour, 1 minute, 45 seconds
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Episode 186: More Milf Manor, Milking Machines, and the International Best Friends Award

To listen to this full episode and get other bonus content, go to our PATREON: https://www.patreon.com/beachcops The show opens with the boys receiving some amazing gifts from fans. After, Andy wears smart boy glasses and shares a "drawering" he did of the boys as fantasy wizards. Andy talks about a hilarious "milking machine" Twitter incident with a certain public figure he's drawn criticism for speaking about in the past. Danish blows everyone away with a new Milf Manor clip, and then, Ryan asserts he can eat more real steak than Andy can eat fake steak and insists on a competition. The convo moves to Steven Seagal and Putin’s ridiculous friendship before they end with a new bad lunch lady from the news. 
3/20/202359 minutes, 28 seconds
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Episode 185: New Seating Arrangements, Trophies, and Priests Against Twerking

Helix is offering up to 20% off all mattress orders AND two free pillows for our listeners! Go to Helixsleep.com/BEACHCOPS. This is their best offer yet, and it won't last long! With Helix, better sleep starts now. To listen to this full episode and get other bonus content, go to our PATREON: https://www.patreon.com/beachcops On this ep, the "teacher" finally changes Andrew and Ryan's seats, so the boys will behave better. Danish reads an article written by a Priest, who says that twerking is evil. Then, the boys get caught up on Mormon butt-stuff regulations and allowable marital activities. Andrew almost buys himself a trophy, and finally, a new David Goggins video makes everyone flip out.
3/13/20231 hour, 6 minutes, 44 seconds
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Episode 184: The Darkness Returns to Standing Ovations

To listen to this full episode and get other bonus content, go to our PATREON: https://www.patreon.com/beachcops The boys return to the dark for a full episode to get the creative juices flowing. O’Neill refuses to participate in a standing ovation at a theater and becomes violent at the idea of being forced to stand. DeWitt’s family has anxiety about all their ESP. When O'Neill comes up with a scenario that takes place at a mall fountain, Andrew loses it. Andy then freaks out again about perceived boomer sex jokes. Danish finds a new “mom blog” to completely infuriate everyone. Another business idea for a sex barge is floated by the guys and it’s not exactly a water-tight idea.
3/6/20231 hour, 4 minutes, 54 seconds
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Episode 183: O'Neill Finds the Diary

To listen to this full episode and get other bonus content, go to our PATREON: https://www.patreon.com/beachcops It comes out that Andy has been keeping a “productivity journal” while O’Neill was out of town. Danish reads O’Neill the journal, and he loses it because it’s mainly tracking bowel movements and "self-love" time. Danish and O’Neill have a eulogy for Bob from the Comedy Store, which puts Andrew in a dark/weird place but makes him sympathetic towards his cohosts. Then, the boys turn off all the lights and finally write a Wazzup Man of Reddit!
2/27/20231 hour, 22 seconds
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Episode 182: Urinal Cakes, Bloody Mary, and a Tiny Human Woman

To listen to this full episode and get other bonus content, go to our PATREON: https://www.patreon.com/beachcops On this episode, the gang covers Andy getting chemical burns on his hands from throwing urinal cakes at people in elementary school. Then, they talk about Bloody Mary being back in full effect for a whole new generation. Things take a dark turn when they find out about the dude dating Shauna Rae (of TLC fame), and let’s just say the boys have some severe opinions. O’Neill also finally gets down to the real brass tacks of life advice for DeWitt. 11/10 star episode
2/20/202359 minutes, 58 seconds
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Episode 181: Nip Clothespins, Bagel Knives, Monsters and Hags

Helix is offering up to 20% off all mattress orders and two free pillows four our listeners! Go to HelixSleep.com/BeachCops. This is their best offer yet, and it won't last long! With Helix, better sleep starts now. To listen to this full episode and get other bonus content, go to our PATREON: https://www.patreon.com/beachcops On this episode, Andy brings in a survival tool for show-and-tell with a hidden punch knife, and it’s the worst piece of (expletive) anyone has ever seen. He also keeps dropping it, causing Danish some extreme anxiety. They talk Chinese spy balloons and a disturbing report from O’Neill on Milf Manor, but Andrew still wants those gross old ladies. O’Neill tries to get down to brass tacks with life advice for Andy. Then, Andy disappoints himself and his wife when he lets the boys play a scary game with his nips and then twerks.
2/13/20231 hour, 6 minutes, 48 seconds
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Episode 180: Mind Your Milf Manors

Shop now at dietsmoke.com and use the code BEACHCOPS at checkout for 20% off your entire first order. That's dietsmoke.com, code BEACHCOPS at checkout for 20% off.To listen to this full episode and get other bonus content, go to our PATREON: https://www.patreon.com/beachcopsOn this spicy episode of Beach Cops, O’Neill brings out his childhood fingerboard and tries to skate on Andy’s nipples. The gang tries to use AI to write jokes, but Chat GPT constantly chastises them for being offensive. Then, they deep dive on the new reality show Milf Manor, and it blows O’Neill’s mind. They try to wrap up early, but a wardrobe revelation from Danish and DeWitt gets too crazy to stop the show.
2/6/20231 hour, 4 minutes, 46 seconds
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Episode 179: Wook vs. Plur

Helix is offering up to 200 dollars off all mattress orders and two free pillows for our listeners! Go to HelixSleep.com/beachcops. To listen to this full episode and get other bonus content, go to our PATREON: https://www.patreon.com/beachcops O’Neill is back from his tour with a brand new debilitating ski injury. Was it another curse by Boon? Who knows because O’Neill found doodie stains in the ATC toilet and dragged DeWitt in to see it (even though he claims he’s totally against doodie talk). Andrew seductively fingerboards on the boys’ legs, and Danish gets turned on! Then, we talk about finger surfing and finger snowboarding, which infuriates O’Neill. That is, until Danish infuriates Andrew with a disturbing announcement from M&Ms.
1/30/20231 hour, 4 minutes, 20 seconds
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Episode 178: Do You Think He Wants to Fingerboard Me?

This Episode is sponsored by Better Help To listen to this full episode and get other bonus content, go to our PATREON: https://www.patreon.com/beachcops We recorded this bad boy on Friday the 13th, and it’s pretty spooky! O’Neill makes everyone watch the Skinamarink Horror trailer, and Aaron and Andrew want nothing to do with it. Andy reveals a secret about adult film stars. They talk spooky celebrity deaths related to the show, attempted pregnancies, and impossible vegan privates. Andy then gets obsessed with fingerboards and aggressively pesters the gang to play fingerboards with him, using his bathroom sink as a skate pool...until O’Neill loses it and screams mean things at him instead of just being chill and playing cool, sweet fingerboards.
1/23/20231 hour, 3 minutes, 17 seconds
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Episode 177: Bushman's Eulogy and Dark Andy

To listen to this full episode and get other bonus content, go to our PATREON: https://www.patreon.com/beachcops On this episode, Danish and O’Neill try to give the Bushman a proper eulogy, but they just roast him to Andrew‘s horror. (It’s what he would have wanted!) And, O’Neill meets the ultimate Scrooge Karen at a grocery store. There's much more on the Patreon side, so check it out if you haven't already!
1/16/20231 hour, 2 minutes, 44 seconds
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Episode 176: P-22, We'll Miss You

The episode starts on a somber note, as we mourn the loss of Los Angeles' beloved mountain lion, P-22. However, O'Neill is quick to point out that he feels that P-22 wasn't euthanized, but instead, there was foul play involved. Different P-22 theories and ideas emerge, as we give him the goodbye he deserves. Andrew talks about his body and the different colors certain body parts are. He also calls for listeners to compliment him in the live chat (Patreon exclusive perk!). Listener calls dedicated to P-22 are played, and there's even a song by Hot Hot Peppers to commemorate Los Angeles' unofficial mascot. Goodbye, P-22. Stay golden. Helix is offering up to 200 dollars off all mattress orders AND two free pillows for our listeners! Go to Helix Sleep dot com slash beachcops. With Helix, better sleep starts now.
1/9/20231 hour, 7 minutes, 6 seconds
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Episode 175: Letter to Mrs. O'Neill

The episode opens up with Andrew talking about Dolph Lundgren's TED Talk. After that, there's some parrot and Stockton, CA talk. There's then a smooth transition into discussing a UFC fighter who has the last name Holtzman. We also have some mortician talk. Andrew decides to write a letter to O'Neill's wife to apologize for some past comments he's made on the show. It goes super well. That goes into some height and Chumlee discussions. 
1/2/20231 hour, 2 minutes, 6 seconds
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Episode 174: Nightmares, Green Bean Fires, and Fairfax Hotties

This episode starts with the entire gang having Wendingo nightmares to report. Then, O’Neill sets a fire during Thanksgiving Dinner via the dreaded Green Bean Casserole preparation. Andrew brings up a point about ancient sculptures, which triggers an O'Neill vs. Andrew debate on ancient art as it pertained to weiner size in statues. And the show ends with the guys listening to a great new river pirate song submission.
12/26/20221 hour, 2 minutes, 10 seconds
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Episode 173: The Wendingo Cometh

Ryan tells a story of having an encounter with a Native American trickster spirit (a wendingo) in the dream world, and Andrew thinks it followed him home. What does this mean for the Beach Cops? Andrew reads the tarot (on his phone) for Ryan, and the devil is revealed once again. There's also some talk about cold weather pole-licking. Enjoy! 
12/19/202258 minutes, 15 seconds
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Episode 172: Chain Letters, Dude Lingerie, Pictures Of Andy Kissing Things

Aaron starts off the episode with a wild cautionary tale of athletic supporters and emergency dumps. This leads Andrew to demand jock strap lingerie equality for men. Then, a business idea erupts that involved Danish’s Jewish Christmas tree menorah patch, and they debate how many and what kind of birds could lift Andy for a flying show. This leads to O’Neill coming up with a kissing booth idea for Andy.  Get 20% Off and Free Shipping with the code BEACHCOPS at Manscaped.com. That’s 20% off with free shipping at manscaped.com and use code BEACHCOPS. Manscaped, get your Jingle balls ready for the Holidays. This episode is brought to you by BetterHelp. Give online therapy a try at betterhelp.com/BEACHCOPS and get on your way to being your best self.
12/12/20221 hour, 8 minutes, 38 seconds
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Episode 171: Danish's Adult Riverfront Waterpark

More recycling can talk! Then, O’Neill says goodbye to Aaron. A discussion starts about lunch ladies, and the question "have you ever seen a man serving school lunch?" is asked, which gets DeWitt raving about his school's calzone. This leads to him craving calzone and pizza throughout the episode. Duran Duran comes up, and O'Neill takes a few cracks at singing their hits. This episode is brought to you by Helix. Helix is offering up to 200 dollars off all mattress orders AND two free pillows for our listeners! Go to helixsleep.com/beachcops. With Helix, better sleep starts now.
12/5/20221 hour, 7 minutes, 1 second
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Episode 170: 2 Stroke Gas Powered River Pirates

It’s tire pressure season in Los Angeles! And, Andrew opens up like a bat out of hell with a tire pressure story that will keep you on the edge of your seat. O’Neill sees how tall Andy is with sciatica and talks about a documentary he saw, which gets Andrew going on some classic impressions. There's also some long legged mack daddy discussion!
11/28/20221 hour, 14 minutes, 50 seconds
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Episode 169: Soup's On

The boys talk cutting-edge political news and brilliant current event riffing before…who am I kidding? This episode goes off the rails immediately as the boys spend almost the entire episode making soup jokes when they find a website that has hundreds of soup jokes on it. This may be divisive but the soup jokes are decisive. It’s a recipe for soupcess! 
11/21/20221 hour, 1 minute, 17 seconds
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Episode 168: Shaved Bear in Lingerie

This episode was recorded on Halloween day but is obviously coming out after the fact. DeWitt gets scared when he arrives at a spooky, empty studio. O’Neill hides his toilet comics after he found out DeWitt reads them. Danish has an amazing report on Holtzman’s “Roast of Dracula”. Also, DeWitt takes a chronic masturbation mental health test. Get 20% Off and Free Shipping with the code [BEACHCOPS] at Manscaped.com. Manscaped, get your Jingle balls ready for the Holidays!
11/14/20221 hour, 7 minutes, 12 seconds
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Episode 167: Thumbs Up, America Down

Another booger gets thrown away in the DeWitt household. And to make matters worse, Sorbitol farts keep DeWitt up all night. A new segment called “Let’s Google Things to See If They Exist” is debuted. Danish reveals that a lot of young people hate the “thumbs up“ emoji, and DeWitt and O’Neill fight about it. Helix is offering up to 200 dollars off all mattress orders AND two free pillows for our listeners! Go to Helix Sleep.com/beachcops. With Helix, better sleep starts now.    
11/7/20221 hour, 5 minutes, 13 seconds
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Episode 166: Hamhocker and Schwimmer

To listen to this full episode and get other bonus content, go to our PATREON: https://www.patreon.com/beachcops There’s more can talk from the DeWitt family as they take their empty beer and weed soda cans to school for recycling day field trip points. Then, a new show idea emerges: “The Real House Santa’s of Atlanta”. Ryan proposes an X-rated partnership with ATC. Also, the gang remembers that they missed National Wizard Name Appreciate Day and hand out Wizard and Gizzard names! Danish brings up a political dynamo, who makes a porno for freedom. There’s a good bit of moral high ground grand standing that gets immediately destroyed by incompetence. This episode is brought to you by BetterHelp. Give online therapy a try at betterhelp.com/BEACHCOPS and get on your way to being your best self.
10/31/20221 hour, 10 minutes, 28 seconds
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Episode 165: Turkey Jerky, Don't Get Caught

To listen to this full episode and get other bonus content, go to our PATREON: https://www.patreon.com/beachcops An age old debate comes up: were Pazusu's (from a documentary about a wannabe cult leader who called himself Pazusu) ladies hot. Hear who's on the right and wrong side of history. Andrew opens up about a creepy weed dealer from his past, and his friend, Bruce Doo’Tay who is being scammed by a life coach. Go to https://www.magicmind.co/beachcops And get 40% off your subscription or 20% off your first one time purchase with code: BEACHCOPS20, this special 40% offer is valid within 10 days of sign-up so hurry up! 
10/24/20221 hour, 8 minutes, 4 seconds
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Episode 164: Holtzman Hog Hoopla (w/ Brian Holtzman)

To listen to this full episode and get other bonus content, go to our PATREON: https://www.patreon.com/beachcops Brian Holtzman is finally on Beach Cops, and boy, does he come in hot, singing "My Sharona" and plugging his new book, "A Bar Girl in a Woke World". He even talks eating ass with DeWitt and airs some comedy grievances. He also plugs a hot stand up date he has for the roast of Dracula! It's must listen Holtzman-a-palooza.
10/17/20221 hour, 6 minutes, 47 seconds
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Beach Cops 163: Vince Chicanery and Baby Hugh Hefner

To listen to this full episode and get other bonus content, go to our PATREON: https://www.patreon.com/beachcops On this episode of Beach Cops, the gang gives Aaron his first Wizard Name! Andrew's wife tells the "hilarious" divorce story at a party and it doesn't go according to plan. They come up with some legitimately great business ideas including a birthday party garbage truck and Pizza Panties. Danish faces his greatest challenge running his "sound board" so far when he gets hamstrung by YouTube's unskippable 15 second ads. Helix is offering up to 200 dollars off all mattress orders AND two free pillows for our listeners! Go to helixsleep.com/beachcops. With Helix, better sleep starts now!
10/10/20221 hour, 12 minutes, 12 seconds
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Episode 162: A Good Old Fashioned Freak Out

To listen to this full episode and get other bonus content, go to our PATREON: https://www.patreon.com/beachcops Reminiscent of the good ole days of Boner City USA, Andrew and O'Neill are at each other's throats as Andy derails entire segments to talk about weight loss, buttholes and the usual stuff that enrages O'Neill. Danish finally gets credit for his luxurious hair. Black Mirror Style questions abound! Danish has a real treat in store as he pulls up the Toy Hall of Fame for the first time for Andy and they all immediately rage out at the crap that makes the list.
10/3/20221 hour, 4 minutes
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Beach Cops Episode 161: Doll Taser Cockroach

To listen to this full episode and get other bonus content, go to our PATREON: https://www.patreon.com/beachcops   On this action packed episode of Beach Cops, O’Neill threatens DeWitt with an actual real life taser to prevent tickling then Danish pulls up pictures of Prince King Charles’s hot dog fingers. Danish and O’Neill grill DeWitt about how his entire family hangs out with him while he’s on the toilet.
9/26/20221 hour, 3 minutes, 19 seconds
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Beach Cops 160: Nigerian Donkey Dingus

To listen to this full episode and get other bonus content, go to our PATREON: https://www.patreon.com/beachcops   We open with a John Little update. Then, Andy is accused of some donkey business. Later, he tries out his new presidential impressions. He also opens our eyes to the ultra secretive world of restaurant supplies. After that, it's a hilarious tale of almost divorce.
9/19/20221 hour, 3 minutes, 28 seconds
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Episode 159: Tubers From the Future

To listen to this full episode and get other bonus content, go to our PATREON: https://www.patreon.com/beachcops   Jeff takes over summertime attire duties after Andrew starts slacking. Then it's tuber talk. Andrew talks about popping a wheelie, which ends with catastrophic results. Then, it's puppet time in the DeWitt househould. After that, we discuss the controversial 21 and over whipped cream law in New York.
9/12/20221 hour, 51 seconds
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Beach Cops Episode 158: The Undie-taker

PATREON: https://www.patreon.com/beachcops  Hello! And welcome to Beach Cops with Jeff Danis, Ryan O'Neill, and Andrew DeWitt. Andrew kicks off the episode by mentioning what he has in common with our sound man, Aaron (he gets to this by breaking out into a song). O'Neill has a tale that falls in the hiking gone wrong category. After that, Andrew talks about the stain on his shorts and how he once licked snowcone juice off of them.  And, he talks about his parents warned him about his teeth falling out from eating certain sweet treats. After that, we share a call we received on the special Patreon only voicemail line. We close it out with some adult toy and luggage talk.If you like what you heard here, check out the rest of the episode on patreon.com/beachcops! Helix is offering up to 200 dollars off all mattress orders AND two free pillows for our listeners! Go to HelixSleep.com/beachcops. With Helix, better sleep starts now.
9/5/20221 hour, 6 minutes, 41 seconds
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Episode 358: Wild Wiener (the end of an era w/ Big Earl Skakel)

It's a bittersweet episode: bitter because it's the last episode of the Danish and O'Neill Podcast (Beach Cops is coming though and will be available for free right here and with additional content on Patreon) and sweet because we have Earl on to finish the run. As always, we have a great time hearing Earl's stories and views on life. He surprises us with a few stories we've never heard (one involved former NFL great, William "the refrigerator" Perry!). As per usual, we close out the episode with a little "bit or sh*t". Thanks to all who have supported us and the show. We really appreciate each and every one of you. If you miss the show, check out Beach Cops! Thanks and adios!
8/22/20221 hour, 50 minutes, 45 seconds
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Episode 357: Comrade Seagal

We open the show with a BIG announcement! Things are a-changin'. Ch-ch-changes! Then, O'Neill has more toilet gripes to bring up to ATC management. Fittingly, we move on from toilet talk right into some Steven Seagal news. Apparently, now this guy is just blatantly spreading Russian propaganda. Hear what he's been up to (it's not impressive - but it really never is). A new award show is established: the Soundies. Will Aaron win one? Stay tuned. There's some Ric Flair talk, and we discuss Big Earl's experience at the Roast of Ric Flair. HEEEEEELLO! MAMAMAMAMA! Speaking of Earl, O'Neill and Aaron discuss the new Predator movie. Also, what's Fieri been up to? What band is he absolutely loving at the moment? Well, we give you the answers! Then, we discuss the conspiracy theory that states Justin Trudeau is Fidel Castro's son. We close with some Aaron vacation talk and a little GSP Instagram check-in. Freeze Pipe makes everything from pipes to dab rigs, so checkout their entire lineup at thefreezepipe.com and use code DANDO for 10% off your first order.
8/15/20221 hour, 17 minutes, 39 seconds
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Episode 356: The Virzi Shore (w/ Paul Virzi)

As the title so aptly suggests, we have Paul Virzi on with us this week, and he stopped by to promote his new Netflix special, "Nocturnal Admissions". Check it out! The convo ebbs and flows like the Pacific Ocean at sunset (or any other time for that matter!). We discuss his special, stand up in general, sports, family, flying, David Letterman jogging, and a lot more. Give 'er a listen! Helix is offering up to 200 dollars off all mattress orders AND two free pillows for our listeners at HelixSleep.com/dando.
8/8/20221 hour, 8 minutes, 8 seconds
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Episode 355: Barack 'n Roll

Ahoy! We start off with an exciting softball update from Aaron! BIG news here, ladies and gentleman. You may want to be sitting down when you hear it. After that, we talk more about Teal Swan from the documentary "The Deep End" on Hulu. O'Neill reveals some info he found when he did some research on her. Then, it's what you've all been waiting for: Barack Obama's 2022 summer playlist! Want to jam out like an ex-President (well, one to be specific)?!? This is your chance!!!!! Don't miss out on being cool and eclectic and impressing everyone in your life, especially the people you meet at dinner parties. Baby-stealing monkeys in Japan and a woman breastfeeding in her husband's tighties who defends her goose's honor are also discussed. We close 'er out by talking about our favorite fast food and how the best comedian in the world left us wanting more recently.
8/1/20221 hour, 25 minutes, 26 seconds
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Episode 354: From Strip Bars to Arm Bars

We open up the show talking about Ben Affleck's 10 year old son having a little car trouble. After that, we talk about ultra-quick private jet flights and the super cool celebs who are taking them. Everyone's doing it, man! We also discuss something Arnie Schwarzanegger allegedly did to a fellow actooooor on a film set. And, we introduce you all to new UFC star, Vanessa Demopoulos. Hear about what job she did for a long time and recently gave up to become a full time fighter. Danish talks about some in-flight hijinks he saw going down on his recent trip. We share a clip we were sent of Brian Holtzman traveling abroad and talk about a friend of the show who's currently in pretty rough shape. There's some cult docuseries talk We check-in with Aaron and pitch him on joining the Ding Dong Show at the Comedy Store. We also talk about Kim Kardashian's hypothetical stay young forever plan. Freeze Pipe makes everything from pipes to dab rigs, so checkout their entire lineup at thefreezepipe.com and use code DANDO for 10% off your first order. 
7/25/20221 hour, 28 minutes, 57 seconds
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Episode 353: Narco Monkey (w/ Eleanor J. Kerrigan)

It's back-to-back-to-back episodes with Eleanor J. Kerrigan! This may be some kind of record. On this episode, there's sad news about an innocent monkey (or was he?), who was gunned down in a battle between a drug cartel and Mexican police. We also watch one of Eleanor's old professional wrestling clips with her (was she wearing wrestling boots or shoes you'd get with a tuxedo rental?). And, we hear what kind of man Eleanor falls for and why. Helix is offering up to 200 dollars off all mattress orders AND two free pillows for our listeners at HelixSleep.com/dando.
7/10/202222 minutes, 23 seconds
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Episode 352: Broccoli Rob (w/ Eleanor Kerrigan)

It's back-to-back episodes with Eleanor J. Kerrigan! This time, she's rocking an authentic Dice leathah jacket. She informs us about Dice's "beach gear" and the new "haltah" that he's been rockin'. We find out that broccoli rabe is a Philly thing and hear interesting things about that lovely city. We also get stories about Eleanor's brother who was a standout paperboy who grew up to be quite the artist. Hear what inspired him in the Kerrigan household.  Freeze Pipe makes everything from pipes to dab rigs, so checkout their entire lineup at www.the freeze pipe.com, and use code DANDO for 10% off your first order.    
7/3/202238 minutes, 41 seconds
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Episode 351: Smoker (w/ Eleanor Kerrigan)

Eleanor J Kerrigan joins us in studio once again. We learn some fun factoids about her exes and hear what caused her to smoke THREE cigarettes recently. She also educates us on how to say a famous comedian's name. Sorry for mispronouncing it all these years! As always, Eleanor delivers, so you won't want to miss this one.
6/27/202240 minutes, 5 seconds
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Episode 350: Earl 'n Aaron (w/ Earl Skakel and Aaron the softball king)

On this episode, we have big Earl Skakel joining us, and as advertised last week, Aaron comes "outta the booth!" for a little 1-on-1 action with the Daddy Man. Hear this new duo's debut, as they talk a little wrestling, comedy, movies, softball, and more. Also, it wouldn't be an Earl episode without a little "bit or s&*t", so we hear what the Daddy Man has cooking in his notebook. Check it out and support Aaron's 15 year dream of starting a podcast!!!!
6/13/20221 hour, 44 minutes, 34 seconds
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Episode 349: 14 Incher

O'Neill opens up this episode up with a real whodunit that will get people talking a la Making a Murderer. After that, it's an 83 year old former pastor, who's just living his dream as a male on male adult film star. It's never too late to pursue your dreams! Inspirational stuff. Staying in that same lane, we then discuss a pastor, who was called out in front of his congregation for majorly inappropriate and illegal behavior. Also, Danish shares some Vegas pool party scientific data he came across. We get some much needed Aaron softball updates. Ever wonder how big Aaron's glove is? Well, we have your answer! And, there's a Kevin Holland update. He's the UFC fighter who keeps getting involved in saving the day. Well, he's back at it! We close it out by talking about the hit show, Love on the Spectrum (America).  Helix is offering up to 200 dollars off all mattress orders AND two free pillows for our listeners at www.helixsleep.com/dando.
6/6/20221 hour, 31 minutes, 7 seconds
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Episode 348: Doc-blocker

We start off with an emergency segment with Aaron to find out what happened to his pinky during a recent softball game! Is he okay? Will he ever be the same? Was his team able to rally around his pinky to secure the win? After that, we discuss the dude who attacked Dave Chappelle onstage and how he was arrested for something he did prior to that fateful evening. After that, it's time for a little doc-talk, when we discuss "Captive Audience". Danish quickly talks about another doc, "Our Father". Danish also talks about running into a 2 Fast 2 Furious type scene in a local parking lot while on errands. Curious about what Nate Diaz has been up to? Well, he have an update. We hear from a listener whose sister had a bad run-in with a "service" animal. After that, we discuss a private school that accidentally sold a racy "bouquet" to students for Mother's Day. Danish finishes the episode off by talking about yet another true crime docuseries about John Wayne Gacy. 
5/30/20221 hour, 2 minutes, 17 seconds
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Episode 347: Twerk (Netflix Is a Joke Festival recording)

For this episode, we had the opportunity to record at the rooftop pool of the W Hotel for the Netflix Is a Joke Festival. The pool scene was poppin', and we really took in the sights and sounds. There was a little something for everyone: women in thongs, twerking, dudes fall-down drunk, searches for lost property, security stepping in, someone invading our podcasting area to yell at us, and much more. Listen to be transported to the W pool and experience this wild adventure along side us.
5/16/20221 hour, 14 minutes, 4 seconds
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Episode 346: Bumpin' and Grindin' (w/ Raelyn Nelson)

This episode is history in the making! We have on our second ever female guest, Raelyn Nelson of the Raelyn Nelson Band. We talk to her about having a famous Grandfather (hint: she calls him Papa Willie). The convo runs the gamut: from her love of stand up to how she got into music. She pulls back the curtain on the music scene in Nashville.  Alsll, we play her a song O'Neill wrote to see if she thinks he has the chops. She even came prepared with notes on things she wanted to tell the listeners of the D+O podcast (it's all D+O show lore). She was a good sport and a lot of fun, so give this a listen! Yeeeeha!
5/9/20221 hour, 15 minutes, 51 seconds
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Episode 345: Fictosexuals

Welcome aboard. We start this week's show with some Diaz brother talk and then get into "who had the better bit?" It's Blac Chyna vs. a 26 year old politician from North Carolina. It's a REAL battle because both bits are really funny. And finally! The long wait is over. We hear the results of Aaron's softball championship game. Did team Pizza Party win? Well, listen for the blow-by-blow description of this thrilling event. How do you follow that? Well, maybe by talking about fictosexuals, aka people who are into fictional characters. In Japan, people are marrying them. Extra, extra hear all about it! We close it out by listening to an unearthed clip of a guy we used to open mic with and discussing if bad comedy can be funny.
5/2/20221 hour, 27 minutes, 22 seconds
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Episode 344: Zamboners

Danish starts 'er out by making a big announcement about someone involved with the show. After that, we inquire about an injury we noticed that Aaron had. O'Neill reports a clown battle, and Danish tells a story about seeing an up and coming unicyclist practicing his moves. Danish asks O'Neill if he heard about a group of Christians singing religious songs on a plane, and this type of behavior is discussed. We grill Aaron about his softball bat and if he doctors it and find out a strange thing the city of Burbank is doing with taxpayer money. We then discuss a story of a woman and man getting into an altercation, and the man ended up getting kissed and having part of his tongue bit off. After that, it's a tale of a cock fight gone wrong! We also talk about a car thief who went back to where he stole the car to scold a parent for leaving their kid in the car when he stole it. O'Neill shares a story about a longtime zamboni driver who recently lost his job. Danish wraps it up by telling a story about a celebrity family. Helix is offering up to 200 dollars off all mattress orders AND two free pillows for our listeners at Helix Sleep.com/dando.
4/25/20221 hour, 19 minutes, 6 seconds
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Episode 343: A Day with Steven Seagal

O'Neill opens the show with a few tidbits from a recent show he did in Venice, and Aaron hits the guys with his signature bit. He follows-up with a story from a recent show at the Comedy Store. After that, we get into the Netflix documentary series, Bad Vegan. We also discuss a recent youtube video where two brothers spend a day with Steven Seagal and even get to train with the "great master". As per usual, Steve drops some SERIOUS wisdom and that can't be missed. There's also some softball convo with Aaron (he's a manager of two teams!). We get into some stories that went down at the 50th anniversary of the Comedy Store shindig. And that'll do it for another edition of the Danish and O'Neill podcast. Thanks, folks!
4/18/20221 hour, 20 minutes, 38 seconds
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Episode 342: Little Ponyboy w/John Little

Sadly, this could be the last appearance of John Little on the show. He's leaving Los Angeles. Hear where he'll be next. We try to help him with ideas on different approaches to showbiz and other ventures we think could bring him the big bucks. We share some of our favorite memories we had together and get into comics he managed to piss off at the Comedy Store. If it's the last time we hear from him, then it's a pretty good send off. Good luck, Johnny! The Danish and O'Neill podcast salutes you!
4/11/20221 hour, 47 minutes, 46 seconds
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Episode 341: Wrecked 'Em

This week's show kicks off with a much needed update about something we discussed a few shows ago. It's a cautionary tale and must be heard. After that, Danish brings up how Nate Diaz has become the voice of reason in the UFC. He wants other fighters to start behaving themselves! Also, a crazy stunt gone wrong invovling a Tesla and a steep street in Los Angeles is discussed. And, a SHOCKING look into the show's demographic breakdown is revealed. Naturally, the convo turns towards the show's favorite baseball team, the Savannah Bananas. Also, we find out that Aaron is a decorated softball player and the manager of two teams! Danish talks about a very young dirt biker he saw on the streets. We also analyze the tale of a Brazilian pop star going to the hospital for what she claims was holding in her farts. A scary stalker story is also given the D+O treatment. And we close with various news and notes, and O'Neill poses a question about who would win in a battle of classic children's book characters. Helix is offering up to 200 dollars off all mattress orders AND two free pillows for our listeners at Helix Sleep.com/dando.
4/4/20221 hour, 11 minutes, 33 seconds
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Episode 340: DEA-Fished

The show starts with O'Neill talking about some new people he met on his recent comedy trip to Utah. That devolves into talking about arcades, and Aaron shares an off the beaten path arcade game he enjoyed. It then transitions back into ski/comedy trip talk (keep up!). Danish talks about a comedian who likes disrupting local meetings and zoom calls. Then, it's on to the tale of a dude who somehow convinced a woman that he was training her to be a member of the DEA. Classic bit! After that, we talk about the feud of the century: Kanye vs. Pete. We move on to a story about a drunkard getting cut off on a plane but then trying to raid the fridge and steal other passenger's booze. He ended up biting another passenger's ear off. What a time to fly! Danish then laments the fact that he doesn't think he'll ever be able to get food from the speakeasy Mexican joint in his neighborhood.
3/28/202256 minutes, 44 seconds
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Episode 339: Big ol' Bananas

And we're off to the races on this episode with some quick discussion of the recent passing of Razor Ramon, aka Scott Hall. O'Neill mentions a street performer he saw in his area. Danish discusses a run-in he had with the police. Sound man Aaron says he had a recent run-in with the law as well! After that, it's on to much needed P-22 news!!!! There's been a sighting. Speaking of animals, Danish tells a tale of some idiotic behavior he witness at the LA Zoo. It's on to a bit of MMA news with a few stories about UFC fighter, Kevin Holland. In one, he's a vigilante, and in the other, he has a little beef with Nick Diaz. O'Neill mentions a "celebrity" he interacted with at the Comedy Store. She had a big shoot the day after he saw her. Hope it went well! After that, we talk about the Savannah Bananas' big opening day celebration! They really know how to play baseball with style. Then, as we're about to wrap up the show, there's an end of the show Aaron bombshell! Once again, Aaron surprises us with something from his past. What an international man of mystery. Freeze Pipe makes everything from pipes to dab rigs, so check out their entire lineup at the freeze pipe dot com! And, use code DANDO for 10% off your first order. 
3/21/20221 hour, 10 minutes, 45 seconds
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Episode 338: Chain Meth

We start this week's show by talking about former UFC fighter Cain Velasquez, who was recently arrested for attempted murder. After that somber MMA news, we shine a light on some positive MMA news by giving a dinosaur update that will surely make Georges St. Pierre a very, very happy boy. We also discuss a recent Instagram post GSP made. Danish shares some info about a Steven Seagal energy drink commercial someone sent him to watch. Then, it's on to an absolutely grizzly crime (not involving a grizzly bear or any other bear for that matter). Don't do meth, everyone! Don't do meth. Speaking of crime, we head off to Vegas to talk about a guy who was making some "interesting" claims to law enforcement after he was arrested. After that, we get into the story of a Chinese businessman who wants his son to grow up to be a womanizing scumbag. Tired of not hearing any Polish toy updates? Well, the wait is finally over! Today's your day, so enjoy it. Want to join the mile high club but don't like that you can't do it privately? Well, we have a sweet offer for you! There's a company that's offering that service for a price. What a time to be alive! To wrap up the show, we learn some interesting fun facts about Aaron. He surprises us week after week!
3/14/20221 hour, 10 minutes, 59 seconds
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Episode 337: Topless (w/ Eleanor Kerrigan)

It's part 2 with Eleanor J. Kerrigan! Eleanor comes out with guns blazing by revealing that she hates wearing shirts. We also come up with a business plan for a red hot new service, Uber Only Fans, and Eleanor wants in! We find out what it's like to get your car worked on at the "Kerrigan Body Shop". We delve back into the Phat Tuesdays documentary series on Amazon and talk about how Katt Williams allegedly owes a friend of the show money. In the series, Eleanor tells a story about the Dice Man and says they cut the rest of the story. She gives us the full scoop. Eleanor also talks about seeing a female comic that she liked back in the day who wore see-through clothes onstage. Eleanor talks about what a happy Grandpa tipped her with for teaching his grandkid how to swim. It's VERY Philly! Speaking of Philly, Eleanor tells a story of her friends having a stealing competition when they were kids. Danish tells a story of a bit he used to do with a HUGE security guard who came in to work the Phat Tuesday shows at the Store. O'Neill tells the tale of an epic Comedy Store fight. We wrap it up by all sharing some Paul Mooney memories. Helix is offering up to 200 dollars off all mattress orders AND two free pillows for our listeners at Helix Sleep dot com slash dando.
3/7/20221 hour, 56 seconds
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Episode 336: Eleanor Jr. (w/ Eleanor Kerrigan)

If you guessed Eleanor is on this week's episode, then give yourself a cookie because you're right! Eleanor starts off talking about her great Grandma Eleanor. BREAKING NEWS! Eleanor reveals that she once got her mother on Roseanne Barr's talk show! Hear the story here!!!!! Spoiler: Eleanor's mom was given some gifts and one was the best gift anyone could ever receive: a trip to Branson, Missouri. Then, Eleanor blows our minds by showing us a picture of great Grandma Eleanor with her whole family. Boy, was it a sight to behold! There's more details about the family picture and Roseanne talk show appearance revealed. And then, we finally switch gears to give you all what you want - to hear about Eleanor's appearance in the Amazon docuseries, Phat Tuesdays. It's about a show that was at the Comedy Store in the late 90's/early 2000's. Eleanor was a waitress at the time, and we even worked at the Comedy Store for a little of it. Hear all about this show from people who were there! It was a wild time.  Freeze Pipe makes everything from pipes to dab rigs, so checkout their entire lineup at the freeze pipe dot com and use code DANDO for 10% off your first order. 
2/28/20221 hour, 8 minutes, 21 seconds
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Episode 335: Monkey Truckers

O'Neill starts it off by talking about grocery store music being piped in through the store speakers. Danish tells a sad tale of something he witnessed at the playground. After that, it's a tale from a church that grossed some people out and angered others. Either way, it's definitely an unconventional way to preach. Danish brings up seeing big Earl Skakel getting a mention on an NFL Network shoot. After that, we move on to Pennsylvania, where some monkeys managed to escape from a truck after an accident. Are they caught? Do they change their names and live happily ever after? Well, only one way to find out. We move on and talk a little Bezos, a little Love on the Spectrum season 2, a little of this, a little of that, a little what have you. Danish wraps it up by talking about some 90 Day Fiance legal matters and uncomfortable moments from this current season. Helix is offering up to 200 dollars off all mattress orders AND two free pillows for our listeners at Helix Sleep dot com slash dando. 
2/21/20221 hour, 21 minutes, 50 seconds
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Episode 334: Bit or S**t (part 2 w/ Earl Skakel)

It's part 2 with special guest Daddy-man Earl Skakel! We find out why Earl gave up the game of golf, despite being a gifted player. He also describes the time he worked out with the former NBA great, Orlando Woolridge. Then, it's finally time to discuss Liberace! About time someone in the podcasting world tackles this important topic. We talk about how Earl is quick-to-cry. He tells a story about Bob Saget. After that, we go through Earl's old jokes to see if something is a bit or if it's s**t. It's become a fan favorite on D+O, so strap in and hear some of Earl's greatest hits and misses.
2/14/20221 hour, 38 minutes, 46 seconds
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Episode 333: Leather Crotch (w/ Earl Skakel)

It's finally the return of THE one and only Early "the Daddy-man" Skakel! He came prepared with wrestling figures "in case we got bored". He also brought a mask. Earl talks about his leather pants, and a newly clad leather pants wearing comic he's heard rumors about. Earl details how he goes about buying his leather pants (he's a VIP!). He also talks about his hero, Sting (the wrestler, not the singer). When the guys hear about something Earl yelled at a former wrestler in a mall, they accuse him of being a hypocrite for not likeing when people say "mamamamamama!" to him. BREAKING NEWS: Big Earl is no longer pumping iron. He's now doing hot yoga. Hear about what went on during his recent class. Also, find out what two rockstars Earl thinks he's a cross between when it comes to apparel. And, he (once again) declares his love for Miami Vice, so Danish and O'Neill try to see how he'll do with some Vice trivia. We wrap it up with Earl telling an impressive story of how he once stopped a robbery at a Subway. Mamamamamama! HEEEEEEELLO! Peeeeeeow!
2/7/202257 minutes, 17 seconds
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Episode 332: Hey D-Nose

Danish opens it up talking about a local police mystery that he can't figure out. After that, he talks about a few interesting things he saw on a recent family trip to the zoo. Moving on from there, there's a great "Brian Holtzman on the road" update. Hear what Holtzman was up to in Vegas with Eleanor Kerrigan. O'Neill talks about some random MMA spectator trying the badass Don Frye at a recent UFC event. Then, it's on to some Dog the Bounty Hunter news! Well, more Dog the Bounty Hunter's adopted daughter news. We go from that into the story of a man whose nose was ruining his life. But then, there was a chance meeting with a plastic surgeon, and the rest was history! We finish up with an allegation made about Drake that is outlandish but possible. It inolves hot sauce.
1/31/20221 hour, 13 minutes, 2 seconds
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Episode 331: Camel Balls

Danish starts the ep off by talking about a hot "viral salad" he heard about on the radio. And, he asks the super important question: who the hell is still calling in and requesting songs on the radio? After that, there's something else that's really important: an update from last week's show about the GREAT NBA player, Bol Bol. Also, here about the Hollywood restaurant, Horses. "Tell me about those horses...you're a horser." O'Neill expresses his hatred of all things Olympics, and there's sad skiing news. We stumble upon some Jeopardy! (why is there an exclammation after that?) talk. O'Neill throws out an interesting hypothetical and wants to know what it would take to get his buzzer shut down. We then move on from that and discuss a HOT new trend that's sweeping through the world of social media (it involves birds of prey!). Danish talks about bird shows and then Fabio comes up organically. After that, we talk about one woman's harrowing experience during a marathon. Then, it's time for a tale as old as time: a woman almost gets crushed to death by a roadside attraction camel at a rest stop. Just your every day occurrence. We end by talking about the greatest memorial man in the biz: Brian Holtzman.
1/24/20221 hour, 18 minutes, 10 seconds
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Episode 330: Dillon the Naughty Pickle

Oh hello there. This episode, we come to you from the beautiful All Things Comedy Studio. If you so choose, you can watch the video of this episode on youtube. Or, you can listen to it. Audio, video, both, pick your poison! It's your party - you can cry if you want to. We open up by talking a little about Bob Saget's untimely passing. Danish tells a story about how a random person brought this subject up to him at a grocery store. After that, some SAINT pulled off a great prank in their local newspaper. Just classic newspaper tom foolery! From there, we move on to some Bol Bol news! About time, right?!? He has some alleged personal issues. Then, it's off to Indianapolis, where a gorgeous house with a VERY special feature is on the market. Who knows, maybe YOU will hear about this and buy it. If so, we'd like to come hang out. Tired of not getting any pickle news? Well, we got your back because this week we've got breaking pickle news, as it pertains to a wood bat baseball league and a risque mascot. We bring it home with some random mascot talk, Brian Holtzman info/news, and other random shiz.
1/17/20221 hour, 14 minutes, 46 seconds
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Episode 329: Roy Boy

Danish starts the festivities by talking about how a woman sitting behind the bench at an NHL game shared an observation she had with an equipment manager. Spoiler: it has nothing to do with hockey - she was giving him a warning about his health. After that, Danish talks about how a former Comedy Store manager needs to capitalize and go on 90 Day Fiance. Sticking witjh 90 Day Fiance, Danish talks about a current castmates baby daddy (you gotta hear this!). O'Neill discusses a UFC fighter, who is apparently intentionally knocking out his sparring partners. He also shares his thoughts on the current season of Cobra Kai. Then, Danish switches gears and gives a MUCH needed update to a recent story: it's about the woman who was on 90 Day Fiance who started selling her farts in jars. Well, it turns out the business turned out to be not so great for her health. After that, there's discussion of an Indiana legend, Roy Boy Cooper from the Badlands! This guy is an original Tiger King type of dude. Hear how some residents of Oakland and San Francisco are trying to deter car thiefs (it's an unorthodox technique). There's some miscellaneous discussion to close the show about how "beautiful" LA has become, the vigilante group - the Guardian Angels, and even a little more Cobra Kai.  Helix is offering up to 200 dollars off all mattress orders AND two free pillows for our listeners at Helix Sleep dot com slash dando.
1/10/20221 hour, 14 minutes, 46 seconds
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Episode 328: Two for Flinching

Yello there. And we're back from our Christmas/New Year's break. Happy new year to you and yours. We hope this is a horser of a year for us all and the world at large. O'Neill starts the show talking about why we are recording via Zoom and talks about his recent trip to the great state of Tennessee. Did Paula Deen's restaurant live up to the hype? Listen and find out what the random woman he met thought about Paula Deenie's weenie's (hot dogs!). Danish talks about some interesting fashion he saw on a recent trip. This leads us down a path talking about authentic cowboys vs. people who just dress like cowboys because they're trying to be cool or get the rub off the real 'boys and 'girls out there. O'Neill details the sweet offer John Little recently gave him, and Danish talks about why John used to be called "the candy cane assassin". A recent DISTURBING video featuring Ari Shaffir and two dogs is discussed. If you seek out this video, viewer discretion is advised and keep in mind, NSFW or really anywhere. After that, we talk about someone who used to spend a lot of time at the Comedy Store, "the Great One". We talk about his unique fashion and how he left to become a trucker. There's some brief Cobra Kai discussion, and Danish shares an article he found detailing Marty Cove, the actor who plays Sensei John Kreese's, real life problems from playing the Kreese. Danish talks about a recent encounter he had with Brian Holtzman. There's a brief Holtzman update and talk of how he could be the greatest Craigslist success story of all time. There's also talk about why Holtzman is a fashion plate. There's some talk about Jake Paul saying he may already feel the effects of CTE. Then, we're off to England, where a woman, who used to be a man, has gotten into some trouble for various offenses (none of them are good!). One of them involves an Alsatian, aka, a German Shepherd. Wonder what Nate Diaz has been up to? Well, look no further, because we get into it. Hear how he made a "splash" at the Jake Paul fight. This is some real 209 Whole Foods shiz. We nitpick an article about an incident involving Chael Sonnen fighting some guy in a hotel. After that, it's off to Australia to discuss how one man foiled a 15 year old car thief. O'Neill relates to the tale and tells a story of something he experienced with well known dog lover, Ari Shaffir.
1/3/20221 hour, 26 minutes, 8 seconds
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Episode 327: Camel Toes

The show starts out talking a little about the Bushman and a little about an open mic legend named Mickey. Both elusive enigmas who left their mark at the Comedy Store. Danish talks a little about the current season of 90 Day Fiance with some news and notes from that beautiful show. After that, it's a competition we had no idea existed...a camel competition in Dubai. It's for BIG prize money (seriously). Get a camel. It's the hot, new investment. Hear all about the seedy underbelly of the camel pageant world. Then, it's back to 90 Day Fiance. Apparently, a former cast member is selling her farts in jars online for big money. What a go-getter! We also talk about how John Little NEEDS to get on 90 Day Fiance. It's a no-brainer for John and TLC. Win-win for all. Let's make this happen in 2022! After that, it's a hot new Tik Tok trend: time travelers making videos to reveal things what will defintely happen. Speaking of things that will happen, a poor couple getting married had NO idea what they were in for when they were standing at the altar. It's a trifecta of bad omens! Then, we end the show strong with some miscellaneous convo. It's a solid way to end 2021.
12/20/20211 hour, 30 minutes, 38 seconds
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Episode 326: Cat Nips

The show starts out with Danish telling a cautionary tale about the LA Zoo. Baby Barb found herself in quite the pickle there. After that, we give an update on a topic from last week's show. Someone wrote in talking about the street-whip scene in Hawaii (and no, we're not talking about cars). We then move on to a polygamist UFC fighter, and the tale of a polygamist with 150 kids! O'Neill brings up his frustration with something an actoooooooooor said recently. Finally, it's time to move on to this week's entree: the analysis of a woman who was said to have been breastfeeding her cat on a recent flight. This leads to many questions and a lot of pontificating. After that titillating conversation, Danish talks about a delivery driver he saw in a nice whip (this time, we are talking about cars). Last but certainly not least, we talk about a story out of Georgia where a webcam model accidentally discharged a firearm in a VERY delicate area of her body. Helix is offering up to 200 dollars off all mattress orders AND two free pillows for our listeners at Helix Sleep.com/dando.
12/13/20211 hour, 15 minutes, 11 seconds
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Episode 325: Ain't That Some Bull Whip

The show starts with a wild tale of a man on the streets of LA wielding a bull whip, causing a ruckus in an old fashioned wild West sort of way. There are many questions involving this scenario, which leads us down various paths. Speaking of bulls, Danish explains a scene he recently watched on 90 Day Fiance involving a very special and delicate part of the bull's anatomy. Finally, the Michael Rappaport (background is provided for context) mystery is (kind of) brought a close! We get some answers with an audio clip that was emailed in. Hear what the 'port has to say for himself. After that, Danish reveals that he has a new hero, a 100 year old woman who is a competitive swimmer! What a trailblazer!!! Speaking of trailblazers, we discuss a story involving the 209's own, Nate Diaz, and you guessed it, a Whole Foods. This is a wild tale (as old as time). We finish the show talking about Ari Chauffeur's culinary skills and an item he likes to cook for close to 24 hours. Also, O'Neill talks about a rumor Ari spread about him.
12/6/20211 hour, 11 minutes, 29 seconds
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Episode 324: Artsy Fartsy

The show opens with a story about an absolute pool playing legend! You have to hear this one to believe it. ESPN may do a 30 for 30 on this guy. Speaking of sports, there's some brief MMA talk after that. We talk lactation in the fight game and some Connie Mac. We then head to O'Neill's home state of Indiana and cover our first ever low-speed chase! This one is a real doozy. As the episode title suggests, we cover the world of art in this one. First, it's a story of someone who paid 18k for an "invisible sculpture". We also discuss the world's spiciest chip and people who do computer duster. But, then it's back to art! We discuss a "scent artist", who suffuses scents into rooms for people to experience. This leads us into discussing one of the most repugnant smells we've ever encountered. We also come up with an idea for a new art exhibit. What a cultured episode!
11/29/20211 hour, 20 minutes, 38 seconds
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Episode 323: Jeep Wrangler Jeans

This week's show starts off by giving an update on a topic covered on last week's show: bears and their hibernating schedule. Our listener, "the bear man" weighs in on the topic. After that, there's some brief Bigtime Tommy and Daddy Man discussion. We then get into some Demi Lovato news (you're all waiting for it!). Does someone in the comedy world have beef with D+O??? Oooooooh. Listen and find out if there's something going on or much ado about nothing. After that, we talk about an Austrian brothel that is approaching Covid vaccination in a different way than more traditional places. O'Neill talks about some interesting crowd members he encountered at the Comedy Store. That leads into a story about a California teacher using some non-traditional and out-of-the-box and possibly insane teaching methods. Danish asks for some advice about a dude who keeps inserting himself in his family walks. We end the show by wondering where the Bushman is these days.
11/22/20211 hour, 15 minutes, 52 seconds
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Episode 322: Lapdance High School

Danish opens the episode describing something strange happening on his drive in to do the show. There's a Brian Holtzman update: hear what it's like to be at a comedy festival with him and what time he likes to get to the airport at for an early AM flight. O'Neill talks about Dave Chappelle's high school refusing his money to build a new theatre. After that, Danish goes into yet another bear sighting he had with the family. We talk about Naked Roast Battle, and O'Neill comes up with an idea for a revolutionary new comedy show. Then, we talk about the vodka EVERYONE is clamoring for: Arby's french fry vodka. Mmm mmm mmm. We segue into a discussion of a high school where male students gave male faculty members lapdances as a part of a pep rally. Speaking of good ideas, a celebrity wants Guy Fieri to officiate her wedding! Who is it? Why does she want him to do it? These questions and more are answered on the podcast! That leads us into talking about various celebrity wedding officiants. Then, we close talking about a podcast with one of the highest listenerships in the whole wide world.
11/15/20211 hour, 35 minutes, 44 seconds
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Episode 321: Pole Assassin

Danish starts it off this week with a few tales from family walks. One involves some wildlife, and the other something he thinks he heard. After that, there's some trick-or-treating wrap up discussion with some tales told from Halloween night (not particularly spooky, so your kids can listen without getting too scared). Speaking of Halloween, it's time for the annual "do people really tamper with candy" convo! A youngster in Ohio pulled a real fast one on authorities but got caught. Hear what he did and why. Then, it's an all-time great D+O story. It really checks almost all the boxes. What an unreal tale abbout the human experience (and monkeys). We also follow-up on the lawyer who got arrested for walking the beach dressed as Michael Myers with a real knife. After that, it's time for the 2021 Toy Hall of Fame class! Hear who's nominated and celebrate and get angry. We talk about Squidgame for a little and wrap it up with some MMA discussion. 
11/8/20211 hour, 38 minutes, 42 seconds
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Episode 320: Bear Urine, Dude

O'Neill leads it off talking about Halloween costumes that have been deemed inappropriate and off-limits. Danish mentions a recent video he saw online with some gorillas having a little too much fun at the zoo in front of onlookers. Then, the HBO documentary series, "The Way Down" is discussed. The leader of the religious group's hairdo is broken down and analyzed (it's that good!). After that bit of tom foolery, we move on and discuss how one Shaman started a huge fire. Was bear urine involved? You betcha! Also, the most frivolous lawsuit is discussed. Hear how one woman is trying to get some money out of Geico. Speaking of the bizarre, wasting people's time, and hairdos, we talk about a Mexican rapper/reggaeton artist, who decided to really spice things up in the hair department. And we're talking REALLY spice things up. We close it with some VR adult film talk and other miscellaneous topics. And that'll do it.
11/1/20211 hour, 9 minutes, 36 seconds
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Episode 319: All Ghost Dogs Go to Heaven

It's a Halloween edition of Danish and O'Neill! Remember, please check candy for razors, foreign objects, and other tom foolery! We start the show with a quick update on a topic from episode 318: Chuck Liddell's arrest. We set the record straight, as Chucky wasn't charged with anything. That leads us right into talking about Connie Mac making headlines again by allegedly assaulting an Italian DJ (one who lives in Italy, not some guy in Long Island or the Jersey Shore). Then, there's a SPOOKY update about friend of the show, John J. Little. Please, send peaceful non-ghost/non-dog attack vibes John's way during this trying time. And also thoughts and prayers to the poor maintenance man at his hotel, too! After that, it's the classic example of a lawyer trying a hilarious Halloween prank (that others didn't find very funny at all). After that, it's the mysterious case of a ninja, who causes chaos during a military training exercise. Can this man be stopped? What does he want? Do you know who he is? What about his family? These questions will make sense if you listen. If they don't, ask a listening buddy for help, and they'll explain it. Then, it's off to the Daddy Man's favorite place, Tik Tok, where a woman details a not-so-nice Halloween trick she was on the receiving end of. Speaking of tricks, another laaaaady, ran onto a football field of minors wearing nothing but a scarf. Hear her defense and see if you side with her. Who knows, maybe you'll be on the jury! You can never be too prepared. This somehow leads into a long riff-athon about what it would be like if Earl "the Daddyman" Skakel went to prison. We end with a quick Dog the "bounty hunter" (that should ALWAYS have to be in quotations...you know why!) update. This one will fit nicely in your pillowcase or plastic pumpkin full of candy. 
10/25/20211 hour, 8 minutes, 14 seconds
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Episode 318: Grubby Pervert Hands

Hey, it's me, episode 318. I start off with the guys giving an update on the John Little paranormal situation. John is looking into the hair hauntings! After that, the dudes discuss Bill Shatner going into space at 90 years old (or young, depending on how you look at life). There's some brief space talk, which takes us right into Demi Lovato's hot new show about extraterrestrials. Hear what word she feels should NOT be used to refer to them. Take note, everyone. This is important. That leads into some talk about the Amazon docu-series, LuLaRich. Then, it's on to some sad news. Dog the Bounty Hunter hurt his ankle and can't pretend to look for a fugitive. Get well soon, Dog! After that, hear what one teacher did to protest mandatory vaccines. It's definitely an out-of-the-box approach. We end with a little MMA talk and by talking about the childlike beauty and wonder of GSP. 
10/18/20211 hour, 28 minutes, 4 seconds
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Episode 317: Ghost Hair

We open up this week by briefly explaining our two week absence. After that, O'Neill has a paranormal update involving a friend of the show! It will have you questioning everything you thought you knew. Danish also has an update about a friend of the show (hint: mamamamamama!). Then, it's some news and notes from around the MMA world (Nick Diaz vs. Lawler, GSP, Jon Jones). Danish talks about the book Mindhunter, which details John Douglas, an FBI trailblazer when it came to psychological profiling. Staying in the world of law enforcement, or in this case "law enforcement", we discuss Dog the Bounty Hunter turning a manhunt into a PR opportunity. There's some talk of Dave Chappelle's latest special. The show closes with Danish talking about some foul-mouthed middle schoolers hanging out at a park for young children. We talk about a way to deter them from using bad language...bringing in the filthiest comics we know to teach them a little about the art of swearing.
10/11/20211 hour, 24 minutes, 2 seconds
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Episode 316: Coach Pizza Face

Ooooooh yeah! This week, we start off talking about the much anticipated new season of Dancing with the Stars. Who's on the cast? Who got snubbed? Tune in for details! That conversation perfectly flows into the next one like a beautifully rich red wine. Because Brian Austin Green is on the upcoming DWTS season, and his ex-wife, Megan Fox, is busy galivanting around town with rapper/actor, Machine Gun Kelly. They enjoy posting "edgy" photos. Why? Who knows? Then, the show makes history: for the first time, we hear a new defense in the case of a teacher having a relationship with a student. What is it? Weeeeeeeell, I'm not going to spoil it for you. So, stop being a lazy Susan and listen and find out some info. After that, some super intelligent Taco Bell employees make a few bad decisions that just may come back to bite them in the beeeee-hind. After that, it's the classic case of police being called because a pet chimp has broken out of its cage inside someone's home. This one gets crazy. Listener discretion is advised. After that, we give you a pretty solid reason to never go skydiving in the Stockton, CA area. That leads us into the story of a high school coach who disciplined a player in a very strange manner. We finish up with a brief convo about overly aggressive coaches. And that'll do it. Another one in the books.
9/20/20211 hour, 7 minutes, 45 seconds
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Episode 315: Cox 'n Balls

We start off talking about the upcoming fight between Vitor Belfort and Evander Holyfield (this was recorded before the fight took place). We talk about the new genre of freak show boxing and what a circus this particular card is. Then, it's on to a MAJOR controversy that no one has the guts to talk about: actors wearing fat suits. It's time to put a stop to this! After that, it's off to Fresno, where a dude got a DWJ (listen to find out what that stands for). After that, we head to Utah, where an angry citizen thinks a government official should change his last name because it's profane.  
9/13/202155 minutes, 44 seconds
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Episode 314: A Family Affair

Show starts talking about a big star appearing at the La Jolla Comedy Store! We have it on good authority that the shows were hilarious and heroic. There's some quick Pazuzu wrap-up talk because O'Neill finished the doc, "The Stranger You Know" on Hulu. Then, it's a Dassey family BOMBSHELL! It's a piece of information that has somehow evaded us for all these years. The Dassey/Avery family tree is more intertwined than you think! After that, it's on to another legednary family: the Bounty Hunters, as in the Dog the Bounty Hunters. There's a controversy in the family (shocker!), and the Dog is on the defensive. Hear his intelligent takes. And also, keep in mind he's 33 1/3 Apache when you listen. That really comes into play here. The hits keep on coming on this episode because we then move on to world renowned scumbag, Steven Seagal. Hear why he's in hot water once again. We end with a BANG when we discuss a must hear update on a topic we covered a while back. This episode will blow your socks clean off so please consider listening in flip flops.
9/6/20211 hour, 28 minutes, 34 seconds
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Episode 313: Dinky Pool Boy

BIG NEWS! O'Neill starts us off with a bombshell: he had his first mountain lion sighting. He's getting closer to P-22. Slow and steady. To promote Eleanor Kerrigan's new album, "Lady Like", we review the track titles from it. Next, we discuss how a reality show powerhouse of a man destroys DeWitt in a squat competition. Spoiler alert: there's a special call from DeWitt later in the episode to discuss this, and he puts us in our place with some sage wisdom. Then, it's a first on the show: a drive-by hawking! Some dude in what is believed to be the UK filmed himself throwing a hawk out of a car to hunt and kill other birds. Is this cool? Lazy hunting? Hear our discussion on this important matter that is taking over the headlines in 2021. Then, we talk about what one of the Kardashian/Jenners gave her daughter for her birthday. It's a strange present. One that most of us got to experience for free (unfortunately). That leads to a discussion about celebrity spending habits and excess. After that, we talk about the man who was the baby on the cover of Nirvana's "Nevermind" album. It turns out, he didn't like being out there for the world to see and is now suing the band for damages. Danish talks about a documentary series he just watched on Hulu called "The Devil You Know". During that segment, we get a call from DeWitt to ask about his squatting prowess (remember that from the beginning - are you even still paying attention?). We finish by talking about Only Fans reversing their decision about banning adult content and we review a top ten list of the highest earners on the site.
8/30/20211 hour, 19 minutes, 24 seconds
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Episode 312: Horse House

The show kicks off with some light Stevie Seagal bashing but quickly turns into the topic of making California king bunk beds. After that, we transition into talking about how delusional and desperate Conor McGregor has become, and we highlight some of his latest antics. We also talk about how many different groups of brothers that have become pro fighters and talk about what a big draw it would be if they fought. Then, we discuss a Christian woman who has found the ultimate niche, a religious Only Fans account. Hear all about her holy rollin' approach to being scantily clad. After that, we highlight friend of the show, Brandon Schaub's whiskey. Since he's a comic we respect and look up to, that leads us into talking about how Damon Wayans wants to go up against Dave Chappelle in a Verzuz battle. That gets our wheels turning, and we talk about different comedic match-ups and the overall Verzuz show. We stay in the comedy world and talk about a clip someone sent us of Big Earl saying we used to make comedians cry. We debunk that myth! We also discuss the ceremony that we recently held for Brody Stevens and had some ideas that could spice up tributes to him. Then, there's a complete left turn! A listener sent in an email talking about how a friend had inside knowledge about a story we recently discussed. What is it? Listen to find out. After that, we talk about a horse thief! Hear this unbelievable tale of tom foolery and stupidity. We also detail a video where a man feeds a ton of wild raccoons, and O'Neill tells of the dangers of this sort of behavior. Speaking of dangers, Danish describes a brief snippet he saw on a true crime show that talked about Jeffrey Dahmer. There's some brief true crime podcast talk as well. Then, it's a hot couple, who lives like they're stuck in the 1930's! Who wouldn't want to do that? This show has a little something for everyone so share it with your friends, colleagues, and loved ones.
8/23/20211 hour, 30 minutes, 1 second
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Episode 311: Nick Beef Cannon

This week starts off with a very special PSA from Big Earl Skakel, concerning how to behave if you happen to be lucky enough to get a ticket to one of his shows. He wants the dogs called off (they were never called, but you get it). This leads to a discussion about why D+O listeners yell out "mamamama" and "pew" when Earl is onstage and what he should do about it. Danish excitedly describes a kid he saw, who he thinks may have a bright future (on a particular TLC show). That segues right into the sad loss of a TLC star. Don't worry, they probably already have somebody waiting in the wings. TLC is always prepared and have a deep bench. We congratulate the UFC fighter who called out the living legend Hasbulla after his recent win and then take a quick opportunity to take some shots at Connie Mac (always warranted and fun). Speaking of taking shots, we turn our attention to Nick Cannon, who is never afraid to say/do stupid things. In this case, it's his take on fatherhood that is discussed. Speaking of father of the year candidates, we also discuss Future and his take on being a Dad. Then, it's the ongoing drama from the American Pickers cast. Are you team Wolfe or team Fritz, or team who gives a...? Has Frank gone off the deep end? Who's to blame? You be the judge! Exciting food update! None other than food God Guy Fieri was given the task of coming up with an exciting food item for the big Field of Dreams MLB game. You won't believe what the frosted tip Fieri came up with! We end it with a classic case of a pigeon race getting out of control. Be careful at the pigeon races, folks. Apparently, they can be dangerous! Find your perfect mattress at HelixSleep.com/dando
8/16/20211 hour, 18 minutes, 7 seconds
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Episode 310: Woodstock 99

Hey there, ho there, hi there. This episode starts off with some news about the show's fave comic. After that, Danish talks about seeing Snoop Dogg do some Olympic coverage for NBC. That leads into Danish talking about the Woodstock 99 documentary that's on HBO Max. It's a real doozy. That weekend made Fyre Festival look like a utopia. O'Neill discusses a show he watched on HBO Max as well, an animated show called Prince. After that, it's finally time for a Jean-Claude Van Damme update! Eat your obese heart out, Seagal. JCVD is a real man's man, and people still clamor to see him! After last week's shocking info about American Pickers, O'Neill drops a Frank Fritz bombshell! This situation is getting UGLY. And that wraps up another unbelievable episode. 
8/9/20211 hour, 25 minutes, 3 seconds
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Episode 309: Porked Up

Howdy to you and yours. This week, we open up with a little MMA talk. We talk about Connie McGregor and his latest antics. Danish reveals that Miesha Tate was breastfeeding all week before her recent fight while doing media obligations. That leads us into some (anti) Olympics talk. Hear about the breastfeeding controversy. Speaking of controversy, we discuss Simone Biles and even get into the "twisties". Who knew you'd get your gymnastics fix on this show?!? After that, Danish talks about an interesting experience he had a militant public pool. Hear all about the over the top lifeguards and how they were abusing their power. From there, we transition into some American Pickers talk. Mike Wolfe has a new lady, and Frank Fritz is on the outs?!? Woa! Explosive stuff. Back to Olympic talk: hear what one athlete blamed their positive PED test on. It's hog wild. Speaking of hog wild, we cover an article about a pilot who got out of control on a flight. O'Neill shares something bizarre he encountered on a recent flight. Then, we wrap it up with some odds and ends. And that's the show. Yesiree. 309, in the books!
8/2/20211 hour, 7 minutes, 34 seconds
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Episode 308: Beach Cops Invasion (w/ Andrew DeWitt)

www.beachcopspodcast.com https://www.patreon.com/beachcops On this very special edition of the podcast, it's a Beach Cops infused episode of D+O. That's right; we're joined by none other than the third member of the Beach Cops podcast, Andrew DeWitt! We discuss all sorts of important issues and topics. For instance, we introduce the listeners to a Beach Cops topic: people getting stuck in donation bins. We really examine this problem and offer up ideas on how to prevent it. We also discuss snakes slithering through plumbing and ending up in your toilet. Speaking of toilets, Andrew tells us about his record-setting bathroom experience, and we accuse him of shenanigans. We even get into jazz musicians, and O'Neill makes up a cool new instrument, the trumpis. Also, we have some ideas on how to play awesome practical jokes on the TSA and an innovative idea that could just change the way people fly. Just like Beach Cops, this one gets wild and crazy but in the best of ways.
7/26/20212 hours, 7 minutes, 47 seconds
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Episode 307: World's Tallest Horse

This one kicks off with a bang, as we discuss how America's Got Talent was able to land a HUGE contestant. After that, it's breaking American Pickers news, and it pertains to the show's alpha, Mike Wolfe. Danish talks about an audience member he encountered at the Comedy Store during his set. Her choice of clothing or lack therof certainly raised many questions. Then, it's a little MMA talk: we get into Connie McGregor's demise. We also cover his post fight antics and allegations. After that, it's a sad Making a Murderer update (a lot of TV talk on this episode). The bad news just keeps on comin'...we're sad to report that the world's tallest horse, Big Jake, has passed away. Please don't ask the date he passed because his owner does NOT want him remembered by a date, you insensitive ghouls. We somehow start discussing Cardi B and her daughter's expensive jewelry. O'Neill expresses his true feelings about the olympic games. We finish it up by talking about this and that and a little reality TV.
7/19/20211 hour, 16 minutes, 28 seconds
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Episode 306: Iggy Kerrigan (w/ Eleanor Kerrigan, aka Iggy)

Once again, we're joined by Eleanor Kerrigan, aka Iggy, El-El Cool K, and Big E! She starts out by telling us about some exciting gigs she has in the near future and mentions how one is byoc (bring your own chairs). Hear how her brothers managed to mess this up the last time she was at this place. Also, hear about Eleanor's "clubbing" days, and about an encounter she allegedly had with a celebrity. Eleanor tells us about what it's like to go on the road with Brian Holtzman. There's the pressure of filming his Instagram videos, intense games of cornhole, and much, much more! There's a quick debate over whether Bill Cosby was a funny comic. That leads us into talking about Bill being released from prison. After that, Eleanor describes what it's like to go mattress shopping with the Dice man (OH!). And, she talks about how her family handled her break-up with the king of leathah (Uncle Dice!). Eleanor has a close encounter with her hero and love interest, Sly Stallone. We also learn something we didn't know about Eleanor and her family...they're like the Wu Tang Clan and have fifty nicknames each. Eleanor has some real doozies. The learning doesn't stop there because Eleanor teaches us some fun facts about Bruce Willis and tells us about how she angered a podcast host recently. We also find a little time to talk about one of our favorites from the Comedy Store. Here's a hint: "WEEEEEELL..." Eleanor is feelin' it lately and talks about the confidence she gained from being hit on by the "hot" homeless guy in her neighborhood. And, we get a call from one of Eleanor's 6 brothers and a few more Kerrigan family tales to boot.  Find your perfect mattress at HelixSleep.com/dando
7/12/20212 hours, 31 minutes, 39 seconds
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Episode 305: My Sharona (w/ Brian Holtzman)

Brian Holtzman joins us on this week's show, and he was in rare form! Hear about his wild karaoke nights in Austin, Texas and find out what sets him off about the local news! Is he into the Rolling Stones? You'll find out on this episode. Want to know what he was like when he worked as a dog catcher? Also on this episode. Does he randomly bark like a dog and break into song? Yeah, he does. Find out the secondhand advice he got from Doug Stanhope that really resonated with him. As always, it's a wild Holtzman ride, but it will have you laughing from beginning to end.
7/5/20211 hour, 55 minutes, 15 seconds
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Episode 304: The Big Hammock in the Sky

O'Neill starts it off this week by commenting on the intro song we played and saying that Dave Chappelle loves to sing "Creep" by Radiohead. He once even heard him sing it twice in a row while doing karao-kay at the Comedy Store holiday party. That leads into a quick discussion of Mick Jagger and Dave Grohl's HIT song, "Eazy Sleazy". After that, there's some sad news. Hammock legend, John McAfee, who once big-timed the show by not coming on, has passed away. We talk about his legacy and various theories about his death. Then, Danish talks about his second bear sighting! Bears galore in his new area!!! Also, a random woman in a parking lot rooted for Danish's death (or serious injury). Hear what that's all about on THIS show. Meanwhile, some random pedestrian decided to tell O'Neill where to park his car. That segues nicely into a video someone sent us about two larger women who wanted diapers that made them feel more attractive to the opposite sex. We talk about Eleanor J. Kerrigan and Brian Holtzman being in Reno to perform together (separately but on the same show, don't get crazy). Then, we bring up something not many have talked about for some reason: former MMA champ, Anderson Silva, fighting a pro boxer (not like these youtuber fellas!). That leads us into talking about Big Earl's couch and old TV. After that, it's time to report on the Redneck Rave! It sounds like it was a WILD time. And then, it's time for another sports story! Hear what a Minister allegedly did to former Cubs player, Ben Zobrist. It's not very minister-ly. O'Neill talks about a story on minor league baseball players he saw on HBO's "Real Sports" (lot of sports talk this episode!). There's some Pokemon talk and some park talk, as Danish talks about bringing baby Barb to playgrounds. We finish off by talking about the greatest youtube star ever, Hasbulla! He's an international superstar. And, he owns a pet monkey!
6/28/20211 hour, 29 minutes, 55 seconds
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Episode 303: Hasbulla-bulla

We start out episode 3 oh 3 by talking about the 2 oh 9's own, Nate Diaz. We discuss his most recent fight and a piece ESPN wrote about him. Then, it's a California teenager vs. a bear on a wall! Who reigns supreme? After that, we talk about how Bill Cosby refuses therapy, which would get him out of prison. Then, it's off to Russia to talk about Hasbulla, the Russian social media STAR, who also happens to own a pet monkey (and he looks like a child, despite being a teenager). Speaking of Russia, Stevie Seagal joined a Kremlin political party. He's as awesome a guy as ever! O'Neill talks about rewatching some episodes of Seagal's "reality" show, Lawman. We move from Seagal to an Austrian soldier, who got a tattoo on an unusual body part. And, it's not the nicest tattoo. In another case of man vs. beast, this time, a diver allegedly gets swallowed by a whale! We end by talking about the s-storm Chrissy Teigen has found herself in lately. And that's all she wrote! Right now, visit CREDIT KARMA DOT COM SLASH WIN MONEY to open your free account and start winning Instant Karma. 
6/21/20211 hour, 28 minutes, 5 seconds
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Episode 302: Streaking Roommate (w/ Kevin Biggins)

We're joined by Kevin Biggins, who's a comic and writer (Family Guy!). We've been writing a TOP SECRET project with him for six months, and this is the first time we met him in person. What a meeting it was!  We discussed all sorts of titilating topics. We opened up talking about living in close proximity to your neighbors. We ask Kevin about his last name, and he shares some stories about it. There's also some bathroom etiquette conversation and stories. Kevin talks about his freshman year roommate and shared some interesting fun facts about him. He also shares a story about weeping from beauty in Hawaii. Kevin brings up phrases and words he doesn't like. He talks about how he got his job at Family Guy, and how he climbed the ladder to become a writer there. He even discusses how one renegade quit the gig. Kevin admits it wasn't always smooth sailing for him and gets into a story about how he was dumped in the 8th grade for being a prude. As a man who lives in Danish's original LA neighborhood, Kevin sees a lot of sights and sounds on the streets and tells us about a man he recently came across. It was a first meeting for the ages.
6/14/20212 hours, 17 minutes, 20 seconds
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Episode 301: Big Earl's Back(side) (w/ Earl Skakel)

As the tite suggests, yes, Big Earl is back!!! And, he's better than before! For the first time in a LONG time, we get to hang out with none other than the Daddyman. We catch up and hit all the major topics you'd want us to with Big Earl: Varvatos pants, Sweet Cheeks, , Cameo, and run-ins with D+O listeners, etc. Does he have an axe to grind on this episode? Listen and find out for yourself. But spoiler alert, yes. Yes, he does. Who's it with? No spoiler alerts there. As always, it's a great episode when the Skake's in the building.
6/7/20211 hour, 58 minutes, 44 seconds
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Episode 300: Seagal's Blankie

O'Neill starts off the festivities by saying that he's got a flasher in his neighborhood. He's taking to the streets to solve the case. Danish shares a funny text he got from the Daddyman, Earl Skakel. Then, we kick it up a notch by talking about Russia's new ambassador, Stevie boy Seagal, who was sent to Venezuela on a goodwill mission. Sadly, this is NOT a joke. Guy Fieri and the Tiger King both made recent power plays (not hockey related), and the fellas discuss them. A BRAVE woman goes on Tik Tok to confess to something she did 8 years ago, and it's empowering other women to do the same. Speaking of power plays, Nick Diaz is training some new "fighters"! Then, it's on to farm talk because two landowners get in a property dispute, and one takes a drastic measure. After that, we whisk away to Kid Rock's honky tonk bar and grille in Nashville, where one customer did the unthinkable! Also, we cover an elderly woman who's a serial stowaway on flights. And that's the 300th episode, folks!
5/31/20211 hour, 14 minutes
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Episode 299: Yam Bag! (w/ Eleanor Kerrigan)

As the title suggests, we are joined by Eleanor Kerrigan. We cover a variety of topics, including Eleanor's family, Comedy Store stuff, Diceman, yam bags, lifeguarding, accents, and much, much more! As per usual, Eleanor really nailed her appearance on the show, which will pay dividends for her career. 
5/24/20212 hours, 49 minutes, 23 seconds
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Episode 298: Russian Chimps

For the first time in forever (to quote the classic movie Frozen), we're back recording in the same geographic location again! Rejoice!!! We open up with a sad announcement made by one of the greats in the comedy business. Danish shares some advice he heard experts are trying to spread in India. O'Neill asks if there's an uptick in people reading while walking. He also shares a run-in he had while hiking. We got a tiger on the loose in the Houston area! It's still at large (and most likely livin' large). Danish talks about a video that someone sent on Twitter, which was of a monkey answering a door in Russia and paying for pizza. "In Russia"....! Danish shares a new fighter that he enjoys: Jiri Prochazka. He is a sight to behold! That gets us into a conversation about Diego Sanchez, and his new trainer, who uses some unconventional training techniques to say the least. We head to Australia, where someone complains about their neighbor making too much noise while making love. We talk about Brian Holtzman for a little and then transition into Mother's Day. We wrap it up with some random topics. All in all, it's a good one.
5/17/20211 hour, 14 minutes, 4 seconds
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Holtzman Bonus Ep (ZOOM AUDIO)

We talk to the legend Brian Holtzman via Zoom from Austin, Texas.
5/14/20212 hours, 5 minutes, 37 seconds
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Episode 297: Operation Homecoming Queen

This week, Danish starts out the festivities by talking about a girl who came on to him in middle school. That leads to a conversation about middle school relationships. Then, it's a homecoming dance that ROCKS the world with felony arrests. Here the sordid details! It will change your life and how you look at the world. After that, we get into the voice of the octagon in the UFC, Bruce Buffer, doing birth announcements on Cameo. We move on to a BIG SPREAD on the nicest guy in the world, Guy Fieri (supposed to be pronounced Fiedi!!!!!!!!!!!!!!). Speaking of celebs, we discuss Hilary Duff talking about having her nine year old present for her homebirth and how this has become a "thing" out there (not her talking about it, but people are including their kids in home births). It's a quick hitter this week, but it's as powerful as ever! Also, there will be a Brian Holtzman bonus episode coming at'cha this week.
5/10/20211 hour, 8 minutes, 17 seconds
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Episode 296: Strokers, Jokers, Midnight Pokers

We were supposed to have a guest this week, but it fell through! We open the show by talking about a new TLC show (they've done it again, folks!). It's called "Extreme Sisters", and the title is right on the money. These sisters are EXTREMELY close. All sorts of weird situations unfold on this show, and we explore hypotheticals and scenarios that TLC has caused to stir in our brains. After that, we move on to a sixth grader's science project that will absolutely change the world. This kid is going places, ladies and gentlemen! O'Neill talks about a documentary he saw all about cons and explains "scam rap". That leads us into a scandal that involves Goop (one of the best candle companies out there). Learn about OMing and the allegedly shady details that it entails. And that will wrap up another edition of the Danish and O'Neill podcast. 
5/3/20211 hour, 46 minutes, 14 seconds
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Episode 295: Judge Raunchy

The episode kicks off with a quick plug for friends of the show, Eleanor J. Kerrigan and Brian Holtzman, who will be doing a gig in Reno in June. Then, there are a few listener emails regarding topics we discussed last week. After that, we discuss about a video that went viral that is a classic man vs. beast battle. In this case, it's a dude going toe-to-toe with a bobcat. That keeps us satiated for a while, but alas, we move on and talk about a judge in Bermuda who's as honest as they come. Danish brings up a famous youtuber who allegedly seriously injured his friend in some stunt. After that bad news, we needed to pick our spirits up. What better way than discussing a man going on a 400 mile run in a teddy bear costume? Danish briefly talks about a Hulu docuseries called Sasquatch. We close by going over the circus that was Jake Paul versus Ben Askren. 
4/26/20211 hour, 34 minutes, 35 seconds
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Episode 294: Gondola Rippers

O'Neill opens the show with a gondola confession (hence the show's title). Hear what disturbed the poor, unsuspecting gondola worker. Danish tells of his experience in Party City. They sure know how to party! This leads into a conversation about different levels of customer service and when it's too much. Then, there's some brief MMA talk as we discuss the latest with the drama king, Connie Mac McGregor. After that, we read possibly the greatest quote of all time. It's from DMX, and it's about his overall thoughts on Steven Seagal. Then, we move on to a neighborhood dispute over a minature frog statue. It gets heated! Who's right? Who's wrong? Whose frog? Also, we're super proud to announce that we're rising up the ranks of stuffed animal f'ing podcasts! Yup, we got another one of those this week. Look at us soar! Following last week's dyphallia story, we now discuss a woman with two v's! Then, it's the story that's dividing Cincinatti...are there, or are there not monkeys on the loose there? Spoiler alert: it's inconclusive. We wrap it up with some news and notes and random what have you's that are on our minds.
4/19/20211 hour, 31 minutes, 49 seconds
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Episode 293: Triphallia

The show opens with O'Neill talking about a giant lizard running amok in a 7-11 in Thailand. Danish chimes in with a gruesome story involving a recent MMA fight. O'Neill then brings up a recent road rage incident that took place in Los Angeles. Then, it's a soap opera style wedding! It took place in China and has more twists and turns than an old country road (and buffet, hiyo!). Fake doctor news!!!!! This time, a fake doctor was practicing in Jacksonville, Florida and drinking Four Loko on the job (not a joke). After that, we move on to a racy teacher in Wales, who just couldn't bite his tongue about anything, and shockingly, it came back to bite him. This leads us into talking about some of our own teachers and where they may have gone wrong as well. We also talk about the pressing issue that is the photo SCANDAL involving Khloe Kardashian. Justice for Khoe!!!!! After that, there's a Big Earl update. He's living the dream! Speaking of living the dream, a new world record holder was recently born! Look up what the title of this episode means for a spoiler. Or just listen and find out. Pick your poison. And that takes us through the end of the episode. And there she is, folks! This week's show.  
4/11/20211 hour, 23 minutes, 43 seconds
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Episode 292: Car Fights

We kick this one off hot and heavy with a little mma talk, noting that Nate Diaz will be back in the octagon in 2021. Danish asks O'Neill "what was I a part of last night" and gives him a scenario he was involved with at the grocery store. This sparks different theories, possibilities, and avenues of conversation. Then, it's on to a controversy with Amazon, where some drivers are saying they're not being given proper bathroom breaks. We add our own knowledge from our days as delivery drivers. That leads us into a convo about Jeff Bezos' ex-wife's new husband. After that, we discuss a pilot who gets caught on the air traffic controller channel going on a rant about people from San Francisco. Florida news alert! A dude gets a DUI and has a...support animal python in the passenger seat. O'Neill describes a painting he received in the mail from a listener. Then, it's a tale of a stolen truck and a battle between the thief and owner. Fight for that truck! Danish talks about people constantly challenging former NBA player, Brian Scalabrine. We also discuss ordinary people challenging extraordinary people. We end with some random shiz and biz, including a pal who loves to travel.
4/5/20211 hour, 31 minutes, 8 seconds
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Episode 291: The Horse Meat Vigilante

O'Neill opens up telling the sad tale of a Russian MMA fighter being in the wrong place at the wrong time. Danish shares a listener email someone sent in that's similar to something we recently spoke about. Danish shares a fun fact about the spring break in Miami situation and then brings up Kylie Jenner (who doesn't love some good KJ talk?!?). Then, there's a long awaited Tommy Morris update! About damn time. What's he been up to? Oh, you know, just living the dream. After that, there's some brief sports current event and MMA talk. Danish details a dream baby Barb had where she accused him of nefarious behavior. That segues perfectly (it actually does) into some quick GSP talk. O'Neill then shares a story about a relative of his listening to the show in front of a friend and the friend's father (oh boy!). After that, we discuss the man, the myth, the legend...a guy who's been dubbed the Bruce Wayne of animals, aka the horse meat vigilante: Richard Cuoto! What a horser! This guy is like the Steven Seagal of the horse lover's world. After all the beautiful animal talk, we then talk about someone up for the parent/liar of the year award. This lady is a GEM! By the way, both this and the horse vigilante are both straight outta Florida, so you know they're power-packed. And that's all there is to this week's show! Sorry for yelling; I just got excited.
3/29/20211 hour, 26 minutes, 24 seconds
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Episode 290: Pickle Pleasure

Ho there! Danish opens it up with a story about a canine. He also mentions a docuseries he saw called Murder Among the Mormons. O'Neill matches that and talks about a doc he saw about a "bully" who terrorizes a small town. We keep 'er moving and talk about the tale of a dude who got caught buck naked in public in a compromising position with a pickle. Sticking with food, we also discuss a lawsuit that involves the restaurant Panda Express. The allegations are pretty wild. There's a quick update about a show favorite and also a quick hitter about a Danish woman who doesn't want to shave her stache or unibrow anymore and thinks that's the ticket to finding true love. Then, we talk about a dude who's metal af, and he even proves it by turning his uncle's remains (bones) into a guitar. Rock on! Another cool dude we talk about stole a slide from a playground and attached it to his kid's bunk bed. We finish it up with some quick car talk.
3/22/20211 hour, 23 minutes, 1 second
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Episode 289: Ohlaf Face

We start out the episode with a bear update via a listener email (we have a real bearer in our midst!).  This is groundbreaking bear news!  And a great tidbit you can throw out at your next dinner party (whether it's via Zoom or not). Staying on bears, we talk about the upcoming "cocaine bear" movie. Then, we briefly discuss censorship and all the recent warnings and cancellations. After that, we talk about a dude who got a little naughty with a stuffed animal in a Target. That leads us down many paths and has pondering a bunch of hypotheticals. Then, it's onto a quick update of a story we did a long back, about a doctor who sprinkled some cocaine on his genitals and killed an unsuspecting woman. After that, we have yet another Only Fans couple! The dude in this one is behind the camera, and he's real cocky about his lady and her magnetism. We then segue into some serious LOVE...Fieri family love. Hear Guy's tips for a long marriage and about when and how he started frosting his tips. That leads into a discussion of an article O'Neill found about a woman who takes her emotional support animal to skiing and motorcycle riding. We finish the show with a tale as old as time...a 24 year old running off with his baby mama's mama. And that's all she wrote for this week. Find your perfect mattress at HelixSleep.com/dando
3/15/20211 hour, 25 minutes, 31 seconds
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Episode 288: Fake Snow!

O'Neill opens it up talking about his recent ski trip.  He encountered a guy on the ski lift who was a real tudy Judy.  Not to be outdone, Danish experienced some tude at the grocery store.  Then, Danish shares something disgusting he witnessed in the park with his family.   Then, there's an update from a recent story we reported on (yes, we're journalists!).  After that, we talk about a mother who got on Only Fans, which rubbed some the wrong way.  Danish has finally started watching Cobra Kai, so we discuss the show and world of Karate Kid.  Following that, we discuss people who think the recent snow in Texas is fake.  Speaking of Texas, there's a quick Brian Holtzman update/story.  After that, we share a truly frightening story that took place in an outhouse.  O'Neill caught some 1,000 Pound Sisters on TLC and shares his thoughts.  After that, it's some odds and ends to wrap up the episode.     Every purchase at MANSCAPED DOT COM goes towards contributions made to the Testicular Cancer Society. That’s 20% off with free shipping at manscaped.com and use code DANDO. Be the best ball handler this year with MANSCAPED™.
3/8/20211 hour, 31 minutes, 10 seconds
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Episode 287: Mexican Bologna

Danish starts it off this week by sharing an email he got from a listener.  O'Neill takes the baton from there and tells a story about something that happened to him on a hike.  Danish shares some news about Valparaiso University's mascot (O'Neill's from there...the place, not the University, in case you didn't know).  Then, the gents discuss a new Netflix docuseries called Crime Scene: The Vanishing at Cecil Hotel.  This leads us into talking about "web sleuths".  After that, we talk about a much talked-about issue recently: Gorilla Glue.  However, we don't talk about the woman who used it in her hair.  We discuss a man who didn't believe Gorilla Glue was that strong, so he set out to do his own Gorilla Glue challenge (what an idiot!).  Speaking of controversial topics: we delve into one next...Mexican bologna smuggling.  Enough is enough!  We finally address this HUGE problem.  Danish breaks a 1000 Pound Sisters story (TLC hit show if you don't know what it is).  After that, it's the classic story of bear conservationalists almost being mauled to death after releasing bears in Iraq.  We end by talking about Dana White, Ariel Helwani, and Gina Carano.  And that's episode 287 in a nutshell.  Don't worry, the episode wasn't actually made with peanuts, so you can listen to it even if you have a nut allergy.
3/1/20211 hour, 41 minutes, 7 seconds
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Episode 286: Duh-raffe

Howdy, folks.  O'Neill leads it off by asking Danish if he happened to see the SNL bit that was allegedly taken from comedian, Ted Alexandro.  Danish turns the tables like a DJ by asking O'Neill if he saw the host of that week's episode's mother talking trash to his bullies from camp about him hosting.  Then, there's some much needed Georges St-Pierre discussion!  He's excited, and we talk about what's got him so pumped.  That leads us into a little MMA talk.  We even mention Stockton's finest citizens.  After that, we discuss a comedian who thought the word "giraffe" was "diraffe" until he was 23 years old.  Any guesses on who it could be?  That convo morphs into a brief discussion about HGH.  We transition into a revenge plot that must be heard to be believed.  It involves a disguise, a graveside visit, and dead animals.  The show is really bobbing and weaving at this point, and we keep that furied pace going by discussing an orgy that took recently took place in France.  After that, it's a topic that gets O'Neill's goat.  It involves playing cards.  From playing cards, we turn our attention to one of the most bizarre first day of work stories of all time.  We end with some random news and notes from around the world of stand up comedy.  And that's all she wrote for this week. Please remember: Subscribe to The Kelcey Ayer Show on Spotify, Apple, Stitcher, or wherever you listen to podcasts.
2/22/20211 hour, 29 minutes, 56 seconds
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Episode 285: The Hunting and the Gathering

Episode 285'er!  Danish starts off talking about a little excursion he took with the fam.  Then, it's on to modern hunter and gatherers living in Washington state!  That leads us down many avenues of modern hunting and gathering.  After that, we discuss the mysterious case of a Slovakian hero, who did something outlandish to help the police detain a thief.  The show keeps moving and flowing, and Danish brings up The Confession Killer, a doc on Netflix.  We then perfectly segue into a story in Australia, where a man was so preturbed with a "malfunctioning" product he bought at an adult store that he decided to take matters into his own hands (by going down there...to the store...this could be misconstrued in a bunch of different ways).  That leads us into talking about "bogans" and track suits.  Then, we talk about a garbageman who was fired in the UK for kung fu kicking a kid's snowman.  Danish talks about a woman who got into it with LeBron James at an Atlanta Hawks game.  We head to South America after that to talk about a lawyer who got caught with his pants down (literally and figuratively) during a Zoom court case.  Danish asks O'Neill if he's heard about "Jewish space lasers".  After that, we get into a Priest who thought exorcisms could help people with their political views.  And that's this week's show, folks! Find your perfect mattress at HelixSleep.com/dando
2/15/20211 hour, 28 minutes, 22 seconds
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Episode 284: Five Footer

For the first time in show history, stocks come up!  O'Neill talks about the market and what went on with Gamestop.  Danish shares a story about a man who commited the biggest forgotten password blunder of all time!  That leads us into a topic we know next to nothing about: Bitcoin.  After that, we move onto a story about Jon Jones, a Ring Cam, and some neighborhood kids.  That propels us into some brief Connie Mac talk.  The show continues with a little Larry King talk.  Up next, it's a teacher/student relation alert!  Hear one of the more bizarre legal strategies of all time in this case.  We follow that up with a story about a racehorse who couldn't win races because of a certain handicap. After that, we head to Mexico for a racy phone video gone very, very wrong.  We keep our passports out for a trip to China, where they're testing for Covid in an unusual manner.  Attention all Shroomfesters: do NOT emulate the guy we talk about next.  We close it out with a dude who got arrested for trying to free some horses.  That's all she wrote!
2/8/20211 hour, 30 minutes, 7 seconds
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Episode 283: The Gooper

Danish leads 'er off by setting the record straight about one of the most famous hip hop songs of all time, "The Message".  O'Neill joins the party by setting the record straight about actoooooor, Ed O'Neill (aka Al Bundy...and no relation).  Ryan heard an interview where Eddie boy brags about his fighting prowess.  Apparently, he's a real street fighter like Ryu and Ken.  Then, it's time for a real Debbie Downer convo about a show that SHOULD HAVE HAPPENED: the Lizzie Maguire reboot.  What a travesty!!!!!  Then, realizing the show needs something uplifting, Danish talks about a heartwarming video he saw on the internet.  We also talk about the a true crime docu-series on Netflix: the Night Stalker.  This takes us down a path of women sending letters (often times racy ones), professing their love to convicted murderers.  After that, it's off to England, where a candle almost burned a home to the ground.  This wasn't any ordinary candle!  It was the Gwyneth Paltrow va-jay-jay candle!!!!  Speaking of horrific smells, a listener writes in to confess to a crime of sauna passion.  What about Australia?  Settle down, mates.  We head there next to discuss one man's bizarre year long crime spree.  It ends in truly bizarro fashion.  We end it by talking about a maniac who used to lurk at the Comedy Store.
2/1/20211 hour, 33 minutes, 40 seconds
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Episode 282: John Dillermand

We start this one off with O'Neill talking about Japanese boxers not being allowed to have tattoos.  Then, we thank some listeners for the hot new intro music they sent in.  Danish talks about rumors that Chuck Norris was in DC at the Capitol recently.  After that, we talk about the HBO documentary "Class Action Park".  O'Neill talks about the Tiger Woods doc on Netflix as well.  Then, we talk about some sad news, the passing of Jeff Scott, the long time pianist at the Comedy Store.  We also talk about the passing from Hooks from Police Academy, which makes us think about an old coworker we had.  Time for something uplifting!  We talk about a new Danish children's show about a man with a large wiener.  After spending a good amount of time (the necessary amount really), we move on and talk about Canadians calling 911 for all the wrong reasons.  This convo made us reminisce about angry old women we used to have to deal with at our day job.  Memories!  We end with some solid GSP discourse.
1/25/20211 hour, 37 minutes, 11 seconds
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Episode 281: The Iron Crotch

O'Neill starts us out by talking about a recent trip to the beach he took.  After that, we talk about a Travel Channel show that tried to do some paranormal investigating on the Comedy Store.  It leads us down a path of talking about ghost comedians and other such tom foolery.  After that, it's the return of the fake doctor who won over the minds and hearts of the world when he was just a young buck, claiming to be a doctor.  Well, he's back and committing more crimes (allegedly).  To follow that up, we go with some classic iron crotch kung fu.  Not a clever name...they let you know exactly what you're getting into beforehand.  And, we talk about the Schaub man dipping his toe into the conspiracy theorist pool.  The results are about as good as you'd expect.  To wrap it up, Danish talks about youngsters being Helen Keller deniers.  There's some random news and notes at the end that really ties the podcast together.
1/18/20211 hour, 28 minutes, 37 seconds
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Episode 280: Sauna Shankers

O'Neill starts us out by talking about being at a playground with his nieces and seeing a guy lurking with a puppy (and no kids!). We discuss if this move is okay or not. Danish shares a story of a guy mistaking him for someone else. That convo leads the fellas down a dark road, and they discuss an extreme miscarriage of justice with a criminal receiving an extremely light sentence. We have a listener chicken update! An Australian listener of ours wrote in about a neighbor having chickens on her property and then wrote back to give us an update on the situation. One of O'Neill's family members looked into their ancestry, and O'Neill found out something he didn't know about his heritage. Then, it's an epic battle: house boat vs. jet ski! There's trouble on the river!!!! That one happens to be in Australia, too. Wild times down undah. O'Neill is starting the new year off right...by getting back into skateboarding. Sadly, there's more sauna violence/chaos to report. This time, it happened in China. Is no sauna safe?!? Then, it's time for a sad follow-up about a bodybuilder from Kazakhstan who wed his soulmate, a life-like doll (you know what I'm talking about). Well, he broke her, and she's now fighting for her "life". We also talk about problematic neighbors and what happens when you own next to or near one. Then, there's the tale of an octegenarian grandma who's found love with a 36 year old Egyptian man. Don't worry, she went on TV in England to detail their steamy love life. After that, we have a little more cult-talk about the Vow and Seduced documentaries and take care of some other miscellaneous odds and ends. And that wraps this baby up with a nice bow.
1/11/20211 hour, 34 minutes, 43 seconds
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Episode 279: Donkey Sauce

Happy 2021! Did we record this episode before Christmas? Okay, maybe we did. But that doesn't mean it's not super spectax, ya know what I'm saying? We start this one off talking about nudity and public and an HBO doc that came out a while back (it's called The Vow, and it's about a cult). Danish tells yet another story from one of his family walks. In this one, he encounters another wild animal! Then, in the mystery of all mysteries, Baby Barb says a phrase that haunts Danish. Where did she pick it up? Is she trolling him?!? What is happening? After that, we discuss a story about a "Santa" crashing an ulteralight into some power lines up in Sac-town. Danish's cousin, Dillon Danis, is in the news with youtube "it" guy Jake Paul, and we briefly discuss it. I know what you're asking yourself, "Come man, it's 2021, when are they going to get to some horse talk here?" Well, you're in luck, partner. We get to it RIGHT NOW. It's a man accused of having improper relations with two horses. There's some brief Bushman talk, followed by a super bizarre lawsuit that involves adult toys being sold. After that, it's off to Australia for a crime that has left the coppers feeling flummoxed. What did he do? Listen to find out!
1/4/20211 hour, 18 minutes, 27 seconds
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Episode 278: Horse vs. Nose

It's the week after Christmas, everybody (even though we recorded this beforeChristmas)! We made it. What now? More good D+O episodes, that's what! We start off with a little Christmas talk and then transition into the whole Jake Paul s-talking MMA fighters fiasco. There's some pandemic fashion talk and a mini-update on the Steve Rannazzisi support animal maiden journey. We ponder whether we could rent out our domiciles for adult films and then move back in after they were done. It's time for some interesting lawsuit talk! In this one, a dude alleges that an adult website isn't doing their part because they're not close captioning every uploaded video for the hearing impaired. Although, they do provide a close captioned section. Then, it's on to HORSE TALK! We had to sneak a little more horse talk in before the new year. In this edition, a man ends up with his nose getting bit off. How does it happen? Listen and find out, sucka. After that, it's one of the scarier home invasion scenarios we've ever discussed. This one will have you checking your locks at night and checking your socks (you'll get it later). We also talk about ol' Smoky Robinson on Cameo. He has a pretty good one out there. O'Neill talks about anti-technology celebs and then some Scientology. After that, we talk about a movie shooting in outerspace (people are trying to make this happen). We also talk about famous people and pitfalls of that lifestyle. We end with some odds and ends. Enjoy!
12/28/20201 hour, 57 minutes, 9 seconds
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Episode 277: Mini Horse Mane

Ho ho the mistletoe, everybody! We start off this holiday edition with a listener email about having a problem with a neighbor's chickens (it's not romantic!). After that, it's another email: this time with a question that came up over a Cameo. Then, it's on to the topic of Russian Jesus (a Siberian cult leader). We also talk about upcoming Tik Tok star (no, not Earl), Sasha Obama. Asking yourself where the horse talk is? Well, you've waited long enough, you horsers. This one's about a woman who bit the mane of a miniature horse because she thought it was candy. Don't do drugs, kids. Then, it's a lurid tale of a flight attendant, who was allegedly selling her "services" in the skies. After that, we talk about a UK man who really thought out of the box when it came to wearing a mask in public. Sick of no Chinese cats falling out of buildings and knocking old men down stories being discussed? Well, get ready, because here's the first (and probably only) one. Ending the holiday episode on a high note, we discuss a senior living place that made one resident's dream come true.
12/21/20201 hour, 25 minutes, 23 seconds
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Episode 276: Hard in Hungary

This one's a little back to the future action because we recorded it before episode 275 but released it after (there will be a few references that will clue you into that if you're not stoned to the bone). We start out by making a BIG announcement that will most definitely better mankind. Then, we talk about a Hungarian leader who knows how to party! O'Neill's vendetta against Matthew McConaughey continues. This time, he calls into question a story about Matty wrasslin' a village champ in Africa (this sounds like a joke, but it's not). After that, we discuss the Undertaker now being on Cameo. He's pretty good at the Cameo messages, so if you have a thousand bucks burning a hole in your pocket, you may want to jump on it. Where do you go from there? Some quick GSP alien talk, that's where! Then, it's on to a 600 pound man fighting a small woman in a Russian cage match! The Russians are really at the forefront of the fight promotion game. Tired of not getting any Kazakhstani news? Well, that ends now! We talk about some Kazkhstani bodybuilder dude who married his soulmate. It's a sweet story. After that, Danish laments the fact that he now has to watch the children's entertainer Blippi and other horrible content baby Barb is subjecting him to.
12/14/20201 hour, 23 minutes, 29 seconds
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Episode 275: Emotional Support Animal w/ Steve Rannazzisi and John Little

Get ready for a wild ride! We talk to Steve Rannazzisi about the process he went through to get his beloved fourteen year old dog certified as an emotional support animal. John Little is along to be a non-biased voice of reason (interesting choice, we know). We bombard Steve with questions to ascertain just what he's trying to accomplish with this special flight he's taking his dog on. We go down a rabbithole of situations and scenarios that could arise and observe his dog during the show. O'Neill also tells a story about yet another lifesaving effort that bit him in the BE-hind. There's also some other miscellaneous topics that arise. Ruff ruff.
12/7/20202 hours, 35 minutes, 51 seconds
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Episode 274: I Love Lamp

Happy Thanksgiving (if that's your thing)! O'Neill starts this one out by talking about some freak fights he saw online. Then, it's on to a controversial topic! Someone close to us is considering making their dog a "support animal", so it can fly. Who is it?!? Spoiler alert: it's not Earl Skakel (although, he seems like the type to pull this type of shenanigans). As we try to brainstorm the reasoning for this decision, we head down a conspiracy rabbithole. After that, we talk about a hero in the service animal movement. A man who registered an animal you'd never expect to bring awareness to the cause! Fight the power! Then, we talk about actors who use steroids but don't talk about it, as the media fawns over how jacked they've become. O'Neill talks about seeing something on fanatics who root for various sports team at the actual venue and how the pandemic is affecting them. Then, a man who was a show-er and not a grow-er showed it to the wrong guy. Hear what happens next! After that, hear what an Indian doctor fell for (it is the con of all cons!). O'Neill talks about a UFC fighter, who's still a manager at Walgreen's, while Mike Perry continues to head down a dark path. It's a nice one with all the stuffin'.
11/30/20201 hour, 27 minutes, 15 seconds
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Episode 273: Hot Bears

This week's show starts out with O'Neill talking about what he'd do if he were to come into a lot of money. Danish talks about a UFC's fighter tweet he saw and then describes an audio nightmare he had in a Walmart. Then, Danish describes a frightening experience he had on a family walk. After that, he talks about how his former apartment has major termite problems and the danger that could have brought him and his family. Switching gears, the fellas then discuss a crazy NFL story they had never heard about. After that, it's off to Indy to discuss the case of a serial pooper who's been targeting a local celebrity. Then, it's time to get the tissues out because it's a very SAD story about a celebrity. In a case of real story or fake: it's a man, a wife, a dog, and putrid farts. And, there's a true blue beach pony murder mystery! Then, it's a mixed bag ending with various topics. It's a good one.
11/23/20201 hour, 25 minutes, 15 seconds
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Episode 272: Auto Blow

We open this can of podcast deliciousness by discussing Steve Seagal's new movie (masterpiece), General Commander. Then, if you're squeamish, you're going to LOVE this next one because we talk about UFC fighter Bryce Mitchell's run-in with a drill. Spoiler alert: Bryce didn't win this fight. But he did live to tell about it, so there's that. We then talk about how a training partner of the Diaz brothers has found himself a position as an elected official in Lodi, CA!!!! What a win for California and America! USA, USA, USA! After that, we talk about what's been going down in John Little's neck of the woods (Oklahoma). This is a good one. Then, it's a law school student who tries to sue the people behind the bar exam. The lawsuit is pretty sweet (and articulated well). Then, speaking of John Little, he would love this next topic. It's about a man who is saved from a fire by his faithful pet parrot, Eric. What a heartwarming story! We also talk about a John Little patented move that could drive a man or woman crazy. We close 'er out with a "stag party" gone completely wrong/aggressive. Lightweight, baby!
11/16/20201 hour, 20 minutes, 37 seconds
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Episode 271: Weed Wackin' It

The episode starts out with O'Neill issuing a warning about a new movie out there that will absolutely SHOCK you, so please take what he says seriously. Then, it's National Toy Hall of Fame time!!!!! Find out who the lucky inductees for 2020 are. And, here how the Hall of Fame speaks about the inductees. They praise these toys like they've never been praised before. After that, we discuss what MMA fighter Jon Jones has been up to and wonder if he's trying to become a vigilante or cop. Seagal better watch out. There may be a new law man in town! O'Neill talks about Halle Berry's strenuous training for some MMA movie she shot and talks about a certain fighter's pec that's got everyone theorizing about what could be going on. As if you're not already at the edge of your seat...there's more! We talk about a Russian oligarch who was dubbed "the Sausage King" was assasinated in his sauna. After that, for the first time ever, we cover gay penguins. About time, right? Better late than never. Then, we meet one of the slickest and trickiest criminals we've ever covered. This fella (last) named Harmon is one smoooooth operator. There's some brief comedy golf tournament talk, and we acknowledge why we most likely weren't invited. After that, it's a cautionary tale that we can all learn a little something from. To end it, it's a mishmash of topics and other stuff. Oh yeah.
11/9/20201 hour, 41 minutes, 10 seconds
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Episode 270: Monkey Labor Party

O'Neill starts the show fired up out of the gate over these vicious "monkey labor" allegations against Thailand. We briefly discuss the Robert Kardashian hologram that everyone is asking for this holiday season. There's some brief MMA talk and even a quick discussion about a woman's relationship from the Real Housewives of Orange County (what range!). O'Neill switches gears by bringing up the lucrative business of VR p*rno. He also discusses Matty McConaughey's new book (seems like a must read!). Then, we talk about gorillas going wild at the San Diego Zoo with a quote from one of the biggest zoo lovers in the world! O'Neill mentions an MMA conspiracy theory. Also, we talk about a story that involves a man paying for "full contact" treatment with an animal. Spoiler alert: it didn't end well.
11/2/20201 hour, 12 minutes, 41 seconds
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Episode 269: Chair Jitsu

We jump right in with the martial art that's taking over the nation, Chair Jitsu. Then we talk some Keith Raniere. After that we dig into a couple of animal stories that take a dark turn. It's a very spooky Halloween edition of the D&O.
10/26/20201 hour, 28 minutes
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Episode 268: Alaskan Jews

Danish opens up talking about a clip he randomly came across online. Then, a discussion about child trafficking breaks out. After that, we break down Bert Kreischer calling for people to say positive things about Tombone Morris. We talk about how that's not the right way to look at it and prove our point with some stories about the man, the myth, the moron. After that, we talk about a mountain lion stalking a jogger for six minutes (why didn't he just get a restraining order?!?). O'Neill tells a story of having a run-in with a bobcat. Danish talks about a guy running for office in Alaska: a Jewish bear killer. This gets us thinking about a great new TV show idea: Alaskan Jews. After, we try a new game: who would you rather have as your religious leader. It pits a dude who got a little cuckcoo on a flight vs. a guy who got freaky inside the church. Lastly, we briefly talk about a show that was a big Halloween bust on Netflix.
10/19/20201 hour, 38 minutes, 33 seconds
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Episode 267: Geriatric Ninjas

And it's another one (to quote Biggie Smalls). We start off with some light MMA talk. Even if MMA isn't your cup of tea, there's still a funny Mike Perry tidbit that will most likely tickle your fancy. O'Neill discusses why some people are upset with Chris Pratt (it's a REAL unfortunate set of circumstances). We then talk about how the Comedy Store doc failed to capture the true feel of the club (aka the late night shenanigans). Coming off our "Baby Shark" talk last week, a bunch of people sent in an article about some prison guards who got a little crazy with the song. Not cool, guys. Not cool. Then, it's just your average tale of a Russian reindeer herder who is almost killed via a sauna sneak attack. That story may bring you down, so after that, we discuss a geriatric ninja who's still got it. We wrap it up with one of the most heinous crimes we've ever discussed on the show. And put a bow on her cause this one's done.
10/12/20201 hour, 25 minutes, 45 seconds
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Episode 266: Potty-Mouthed Parrots

HEEEEELLO!!!!!! This episode opens up with Danish talking about a song baby Barb has been craving that is driving him insane. It turns to some talk of the youtube sensation of Blippi. Danish then details a strange thing he recently saw at the beach. Danish gives an update on the whole Doc Rivers/Paul George scenario. Spoiler: it's not a happy ending (literally or figuratively for Doc). O'Neill discusses an article he saw that discusses stigmas that bisexual people face. Then, it's on to the animal kingdom! In this instance, some parrots got a little crazy, a little too crazy, for some animal park in England. O'Neill came across a man who had some info on the famous and infamous mountain lion, P-22. After that, we talk about a French dude who's shocked that kindergartners could be scared of him because he's covered head to toe in tats and wears contacts that make his eyes appear all black. O'Neill talks about seeing Brody Stevens in Due Date. After that, we loop back around to the animal kingdom! And it's more mountain lion talk, as a pervy lion in San Fran enjoys peeping on the local children. How do you top that? I'll tell you: with a guy who OD'ed on black licorice (no joke...it's dangerous!).
10/5/20201 hour, 27 minutes, 24 seconds
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Episode 265: UFC's Best Nips w/Daddy Man Earl Skakel

Big Earl is back, baby! As the title suggest, he ranks the best nipples in the UFC (men only, of course). He also tells us a story of a run-in with a celeb in hot yoga, and how he once got aroused during class because the teacher played with his ears. He talks about his budding Tik Tok career, and pitches us a bunch of jokes he's written (spoiler alert: they're all unreal!). If you like the movie Predator and Big Earl, then you definitely have to listen to this. If you don't, you have to listen to it. So, you have to listen to it either way, so JUST DO IT ALREADY!
9/28/20202 hours, 3 minutes, 13 seconds
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Episode 264: Toilet Snake

Danish opens this one up by talking about a story he hear about the UFC fighter, Jan Blachowicz. He also discusses a new problem in his neighborhood. O'Neill tells a story of a recent good deed he performed. Danish then describes a woman he sees on his family walks and how he thinks she's deteriorating mentally. THEN, you may want to get some tissues ready because this next part is a TEARJERKER! It will jerk those tears right out of your eyes. It's an article about how hard it is to be rich. And, it will make you so sad for these people. Then, it's a story of how eBay employees tried to exact revenge on a couple who was blogging negative things about the company. They take it to bizarre levels very quickly. After that, it's on to drunk monkeys causing havoc in India, or just one in particular. This thing went on a long reign of terror before being caught. Sticking with animals attacking, there's a story out of Thailand that is like the Jaws of going to the bathroom. It will never be the same. And then, it's some random miscellaneous items to wrap up the show. And, that's about it.
9/21/20201 hour, 20 minutes, 4 seconds
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Episode 263: The Dog Handler

The episode start out with a bang when Danish shares a story about something that went down at the primaries in New Hampshire. This one is extra special because he knows an eyewitness who was there to witness the monumental event in all its glory. After that, it's more tom foolery and harry craziness in Danish's neighborhood. Citizens are at odds! Then, the dudes take aim at gender reveal parties, and especially take exception with ones that start huge forest fires. Danish asks O'Neill if he heard what's being said about ol' Odell Beckham Jr., and then they discuess what's being alleged about him. After that, there are more allegations! This time, against retired rapper, Joe Budden. And these aren't good either, folks. O'Neill talks about his new favorite rapper, someone who goes by the name cocaine (not a joke, well, the name isn't, at least). Her lyrics are amazeballs. Why did people ever stop saying such an awesome sauce phrase? I guess we'll never know. Then, we discuss a story about a dastardly woman who tried to frame her boy toy, Ivan Rico, for a crime he did NOT commit. We end the show with some talk about street fights and MMA. And that does it for episode 263. Another one in the books. Mmm hmmm.
9/14/20201 hour, 34 minutes, 25 seconds
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Episode 262: Love on the Spectrum

Howdy doodie, dudes. This one starts off with Danish telling O'Neill the latest and not-so-greatest that's going down in his neighborhood. After that, the fellas discuss Netflix's Dating on the Spectrum. The conversation just may surprise you. After that, it's off to Thailand for a story about a woman and a tiger. It all went down at a zoo. Intrigued? Good, you should be. Then, a national STAR, aka a guy who's an Abe Lincoln impersonator, really dropped the ball and embarrassed the rest of the people in the presidential impersonation game. That leads us into a talk about presidents and secret service men. We end it with some brief MMA talk. And then, it's just another one in the books.
9/7/20201 hour, 38 minutes, 6 seconds
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Episode 261: Flordelis

Oh yeah (said like the Macho Man), it's another great episode of the D+O podcast!!!!!!! We start out by talking about future plans for the show. Then, we get into how some people we know could dominate the Onlyfans landscape. We briefly touch on how Eleanor is a harbinger of death and destruction. Danish asks O'Neill if he's heard of a HOT new comedy club that's opening up in his hometown. Danish then talks about disturbing new trend that's happening in his neighborhood. He also tells O'Neill about some crazy NBA drama that isn't being reported on or advertised properly. A convo about international travel and religious Jewish people having problems being seated next to women breaks out, and that leads to a discussion about Amish people going to Mexico for surgical procedures. A woman who's in Brazilian goverment is discussed, and this one has us scratching our heads at every turn. No, it didn't give us lice. It's just that baffling. Duh. We end the show talking about former MMA fighter, Jason "Mayhem" Miller getting in trouble with the law once again.
8/31/20201 hour, 15 minutes, 58 seconds
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Episode 260: $5,000 Beagle

This week's episode kicks off with D+O (neither of them write this, hi!, this is Barb, not the baby one, the grown one) with a brief discussion of the crazy fires/firenadoes going on in California right now. Then, the fellas (that's what I call them) talk about something from last show that really RUINED THEIR WEEK!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Then, it's time to talk some Stevie boy Seagal, and how he made Daniel Cormier lose his fight against Stipe Miocic. Also, they talk about the unbelievable ending to Steve's new movie. Spoiler he's in great shape and has never looked or fought better. Well, maybe at least since back in the day at the Wagon Wheel, where it all started. After that, the hombres move on and start discussing Manute Bol's son, Bol Bol. This leads to wondering how tall the rest of the Bol family is/was. You MUST hear the answers. There were some VERY tall Bol women. Then, it's on to an evergreen topic: Ari Shaffir's time spent as a practice player for a division 1 women's basketball team in college. Danish talks about a real whodunit in his neighborhood with a BIG prize on the line. What's that noise? It's a horse story! Woooo wooo! Then, it's another whodunit! This time, the gang heads to Vegas to figure out who stole a world record winning item. O'Neill takes a shot at the teenagers of 2020 for failing to deliver on a prank. Danish talks about a phone call he recently had with national treasure, Brian Holtzman. After that, there's some talk of bull pizzles, homeless encampments, rivalries, and much much more. Okay. Ciao! -Barb
8/24/20201 hour, 21 minutes, 7 seconds
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Episode 259: Pool Duty

O'Neill starts this one out by talking about Lou Gomez's latest opponent. He weighs in with some personal insight and what he thinks the outcome will be. Then, John McAfee is up to his old tricks. This time, he pulls an awesome prank in an airport by using an interesting item as a face mask. What a wild card! Danish talks about the passing of the former wrestler (and Big Earl favorite) Kamala. Then, Danish drops a bombshell...the pool, his one place of comfort and eternal happiness in a sometimes cruel world conspired against him (along with Baby Barb)!!!! As if that's not bad enough, a poor Mexican bear (actually, not sure if the bear is Mexican or moved there from somewhere else, just saying) was NOT treated fairly. Then, it turns into a real free-for-all with a grab bag of good times: MMA talk, the PR push for Mike Tyson, Schaub-man discussion and analysis. You know what I'm talking about. We didn't coast to the finish line of the show. We sprinted through that sumbiscuit.
8/17/20201 hour, 51 minutes, 48 seconds
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Episode 258: You Want This A?

Jiminy Christmas, we're back at it once again. O'Neill starts us out by talking about a documentary called Tread that he recently watched. Danish talks about seeing a John Little doppelganger at the grocery store and calling Mr. Anti-Seatbelt himself to discuss it. O'Neill takes a victory lap for his hometown making msnbc's top 10 historic American cities list (more on Valparaiso later in the show!). Danish briefly talks about the Last Dance (Michael Jordan doc...and yes, he knows he's behind on this, just give the guy a break already!). Schaubery alert? Danish shares a story about the NBA player Lou Williams to see if Schaubery is in fact being commited. O'Neill can't take stupid internet sensations anymore and talks about a swimmer getting the limelight for an "accomplishment". Sick of not hearing about Marty Janetty on podcasts (he's a former wrestler if you're not familiar). Well, fear not, he's in the news and needs to be discussed, and discussed he shall be! O'Neill gives a quick review on Michael Phelps' HBO documentary about Olympians and suicide. He also is happy Kindergarten Cop is finally getting some backlash. And, back to Valpo! A teacher there is in some hot water. Not literally, you weirdos. It's a saying! Danish talks a little 90 Day Fiance and talks about a fascinating man on the show. Goop alert! Goop alert! What's Gwyneth up to? Listen to the Goop Report and find out.
8/10/20201 hour, 32 minutes, 25 seconds
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Episode 257: You Dumb B!tch w/Eleanor Kerrigan

Heavens to Betsy, Philadelphia's state treasure and the heiress to the 7-up cake fortune, Eleanor J. Kerrigan, joins us on the show!!!! What ensues is a nearly two hour barn-burner of hilarity and insanity. Hear what priceless advice the great Brian Holtzman has for Eleanor (hint, it has something to do with the episode's title). As always, a good time was had by all. Oh, and we also expose a certain comic for being involved in a disgusting group. Listen while it's hot; that way, it's still crispy around the edges and warm in the middle.
8/3/20202 hours, 6 minutes, 59 seconds
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Episode 256: Russian Into Marriage

Welcome back or welcome to the Danish and O'Neill podcast. On this episode, Danish starts out by talking about seeing a headline about a woman on Onlyfans that blew his mind. This leads him to discussing something else that blew his mind: a 19 year old Tik Tok'er being signed to a lucrative podcasting deal. What a time to be alive! O'Neill talks about some time he recently spent at a compound in the desert. Then, there's some pontification about whether a recent fart video that's touched people around the world is fake or not. Danish asks O'Neill if he's seen the online debate about whether fictional characters would be pro-Trump or not. O'Neill talks about a rule he has for driving and coins a new term that will probably take the world by storm. Up next, it's a story of a man making love to...not an animal! but something else that will definitely make you wonder. Then, there's some clown motel talk. Ya know, just your usual clown motel discussion. Upset that the dude in the aforementioned story wasn't into animals? Well, we make it up by talking about a woman who now identifies and makes a living as a cat. To close the show, we talk about a hot, new trend that's sweeping across Russia. It will change how you look at marriage proposals forever.
7/27/20201 hour, 20 minutes, 43 seconds
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Episode 255: Gene Hackman is Dead w/Brendon Walsh

As the title suggests, we had Brendon Walsh of the World Record Podcast (check it out!) on the show. We started off talking a little about Howard Stern and listening to him growing up. We also talked about prank phone calls, and Brendon discussed some of the calls he's made on his podcast. We asked him what it was like touring with Doug Stanhope, and he shared some stories of his time on the road. O'Neill mentions seeing some of Brendon's shenanigans on Twitter, and he told us about the pros and cons of spending time on online tom foolery. Danish mentions seeing a bit of Brendon's years ago but thinking about it from time to time (mainly while in the shower). If you're wondering, the title of the show may have a little something to do with this. Sorry, Geno Hackman. He also tells us about one of the most rewarding and craziest things he's done onstage. We reminisce a little about the great Brody Stevens and even find time to discuss a young lady who's found an interesting way to make six figures online. O'Neill and Brendon share stories about staring down the barrel of a gun. It was a fun conversation, and we enjoyed ourselves. So, you should enjoy yourself listening to it.  
7/20/20201 hour, 51 minutes, 15 seconds
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Episode 254: The Craziest Walk of O'Neill's Life

This one is power-packed. Due to O'Neill experiencing something SO crazy on a walk after we recorded this episode, we decided to take audio from Beach Cops and insert it at the beginning of this episode to fill you all in on what happened. Does it involved P-22? Listen and find out. After that story, we shift gears and start the program as it was recorded (if that makes sense). Danish asks O'Neill if there are people in his neighborhood still making noise to honor the first responders. O'Neill gives the sad answer of how that faded away into the good night. Then, the gents talk about Mike Perry, a UFC fighter who has gone rogue and is apparently now punching old men (no need for an "allegedly" here...there's video) in restaurants. Connie Mac, eat your heart out! After that, we address a couple of covedians in cars getting coffee. Hint, rhymes with Smighter and the Squid. We go into full sweep the leg mode. Even Seagal would say this is a new level of aggression. Can the show get better? OH YEAH. How, you ask? By discussing people who held a Philly dumpster pool party. Hear what friend of the show Eleanor Kerrigan had to say about this hot button issue. After that, we detail one man's crazy Florida crime spree (crazy even for Florida!). We also talk about the Neftlix's Unsolved Mysteries for a little while. We close this powerhouse out with a little Gwyneth Paltrow discussion. It turns out she's a fan of a boobie puzzle. Who knew?  
7/13/20202 hours, 16 minutes, 27 seconds
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Episode 253: The O Man of the Valley

Rejoice! Another episode is upon us. This one starts out hot 'n heavy with a dude who calls himself "the O man of the valley". He may be the best thing to happen to the valley since the All Valley Tournament. After we discuss him, we briefly talk about Ghislaine Maxwell being arrested. Danish tells O'Neill about a bigfoot show he saw a brief snippet of. After a long time without one, we finally get sent a story about a pervo teacher. Danish expresses his dismay about what people are doing in his area to celebrate graduations. We also discuss the current state and future of stand up comedy and wonder who would risk seeing Vanilla Ice at a time like this. We wrap it up by talking about a clip we were sent that really took us back: it's of the GREAT Jim Painter doing a stand up set in Arizona. And, that's all, folks!  
7/6/20201 hour, 39 minutes, 25 seconds
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Episode 252: Flavortown, USA

Hello, and welcome to episode 252 of the Danish and O'Neill Podcast. This one starts off with the lads talking about a UFC fighter who made headlines by having just his girlfriend, who has zero experience, as his corner-person. Then, it's a brief update on what's been going on in the entertainment business regarding cancellations, etc. That perfectly leads into an article O'Neill found that discusses movies that are SO edgy that they should come with a warning. During this discussion, loud percussive bangs can be heard. The evidence is inconclusive, but they were most likely fireworks in Danish's neighborhood. After getting through that riveting list, we get into some Seagal news! This time, Charlize Theron is taking the gravy out of the sensei by calling him a fat fraud. Destiny was on our side because Guy Fieri has been in the news recently, too. This story is just too stupid to be believed, but unfortunately, it's real. While on the Fieri Flavorville train, we keep the momentum and review some of his awesome menus from his restaurants on a cruise line. Suddenly, O'Neill's internet goes down for the count! Does Danish survive? What happens? Listen and find out!  
6/29/20201 hour, 22 minutes, 39 seconds
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Episode 251: 3 Bolivian Brothers

This one is filled to the brim with podcasting goodness. And Vitamin C. O'Neill starts the show talking about something that's been bugging him on his night hiking expeditions. He also talks about Gwyneth Paltrow's latest exploits. That leads Danish into telling a story about seeing snippets of a TV show that Courtney was watching. Danish brings up "Karens", and how some of them are being mislabeled. This reminds us of a customer we used to deal with a lot at our old job. After that, we discuss Kentucky making an example out of a couple for breaking a newly passed law. Way to go, Kentucky! Better late than never. Then, there's a story of one camel's revenge that will leave you fearing the humped beast for the rest of your life. After that, we move on to talking about a video we were sent featuring old friend of the show, Bill Dillman (chi-ball master!). This leads us down a brief path of martial arts quackery. To wrap the show up in a nice, pretty bow, we're introduced to three Bolivian brothers, who try something so crazy that it just may work. It doesn't, but they definitely get an A for effort on this one!  
6/22/20201 hour, 24 minutes, 29 seconds
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Episode 250: Toad Venom

Yello, everybody, and welcome back to another fabulous edition of the Danish and O'Neill podcast. On this episode, we start out by talking about going back and censoring old movies, music, etc. to fit today's cultural norms and standards. Danish then discusses the Cowboys of Compton getting on their horses and protesting. Ride those horses for equality, cowboys and girls! Danish also gives some sights and sounds from around his neighborhood and is once again baffled by what he saw in the local park. That also includes some bird talk! O'Neill reveals that he has a young family member who's become an avid birdwatcher. Then, it's a story that will rock your world. People in Spain are getting crazy with...a drug that you've probably never heard of. This one is too good/crazy. Need some inspiration? The guy we discuss next may just give it to you...he set the World Record for planking (oh, just a little over 8 hours straight).
6/15/20201 hour, 30 minutes, 42 seconds
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Episode 249: The Blunder Down Under

This one is gonna get you going in ways you never knew you could. There's a BIG Carole Baskins update. Bad news for you, Joey Exotic. Then, there's some brief treehouse talk. Eat your heart out, Bob Villa and the people on that show Treehouse Masters! After that, we talk about JR Smith (former NBA player) for a second, but that leads us to talking about the legendary former Comedy Store bartender, Huck. Danish shares a DISTURBING article he was sent about Big Ed from 90 Day Fiance (so gross). Danish shares some tales from his days working at a golf course and some run-ins he had with a "made man". This next one is a DOOZY. It's a real crazy misstep made in Australia, hence the title of this episode. Sit back and enjoy a comedy of errors. Then, there's some pickle throwing, new rules for lovemaking during Covid, and a heartwarming tale out of India (seriously).  
6/8/20201 hour, 19 minutes, 42 seconds
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Episode 248: Filthy Rich Fooks

Howdy! O'Neill starts the show out by recommending a documentary he just saw. Danish talks about some TV he's seen as of late. He also talks about a "treehouse" that is being built across from his apartment. It is really something to behold. Speaking of sights and sounds, Danish also talks about some outdoor workouts he's seen around his neighborhood. There's a much needed Gypsy Rose update! About time, journalists. About time! Then, it's the seabelt scandal that's rocking the D+O podcast! Is John Little ahead of his time with his anti-seatbelt sentiments, or is he beind the 8-ball? Ready to start heading back out to the strip clubs? Well, here an update about what a club that just reopened in Wyoming has to say about safety precautions. We close the show by speculating what stand up comedy will be like when it returns. Listen and stay safe out there, party people. Love ya. Muah. xoxoxo
6/1/20201 hour, 31 minutes, 34 seconds
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Episode 247: Putting the Beast Back In Bea$T!ality

As the title suggests, we get back to where our bread is buttered on this one. It's episodes like this that keep us ahead of the podcasting pack when it comes to animal reporting. This one's a real BANGER. O'Neill starts it out by talking about a recent camping trip he took (with weapons, don't worry!). After that, we discuss some recent drama out there in the podcasting world. We transition soooo smoothly to the topic of graduations and try to explain to those missing them right now that they're really not missing anything. THEN, it's finally a return to the ponies. A story about a man caught prowling in the stables. Get your riding pants and boots on. You're going to need them. After that, it's time for MORE animals as a woman from O'Neill's home state of Indiana tries to sue for not allowing her emotional support monkey into a campground. As if this episode isn't burning a hole in your damn ears enough already, we discuss a story that is insane. It involves a tiger running rampant down suburban streets, a man in a cowboy hat with a lasso, and another man with a folding chair. Just the perfect recipe for greatness. O'Neill recalls a video he saw that took place in Albania that's equally insane. Danish talks about recently getting into the show Live PD. Then, it's back to the animal kingdom, where sadly, a couple learned a hard lesson about domesticated animals. This one will give you all the feels and touches. That's what "they" say, right?
5/25/20201 hour, 22 minutes, 20 seconds
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Episode 246: Lot Lizard

Hello, podcast listener, my old friend. We've come to entertain you again. Okay, enough singing. We start the episode by talking about some of the recent comings and goings in the UFC. Are we officially team Connie Mac? LIsten and find out. Ooooooh, the suspense, the agony! We have the age old debate: does Guy Fieri's countless charitable donations make him a good guy, or someone we can root for? O'Neill aims some venom at "rapper" Tekashi69. Meanwhile. Danish gives out a solid hip hop recommendaiton of a group that's out of Buffalo. Shout out to the 716! Staying in the world of hip hop, Uncle/Father Boosie Badazz made some outlandish/bizarre claims on his Instagram and is now feeling the heat. Danish switches gears a little and talks about the book he's reading right now: 2004's Scar Tissue by Anthony Kiedis. There's also talk of a viral martial arts fight (well, one guy used them). O'Neill shares that he felt bad about some things he said about Beth the Bounty Hunter in the past, but quickly scouring the internet made him feel a lot better about it. Then, we discuss a guy who really had a hankerin' for some wine. And he went about getting it the hard way. Not to be outdone, a guy in Florida tries to really pull one over on the coppers. This one is action-packed, to and fro. Get on it!    
5/18/20201 hour, 18 minutes, 16 seconds
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Episode 245: Homeless Spring Break

No diggity, no doubt, it's another power-packed episode! This one starts out on somber note as O'Neill shares some sad news about someone passing away. However, after that convo, he goes from death to marriage by sharing an unlikely love story. With his feelings running the gamut, O'Neill then wants to get something off his chest: his feelings about Adele's weight loss transformation. Not to be outdone, Danish chimes in with an unlikely love story of his own. Back and forth, forth and back! This episode is off the charts!!!! And then, it's back to sad news, as Danish reveals something that may break the Daddy Man Earl Skakel's spirits. Then, we seek solace in something we know well: a story about an animal. This one doesn't end well for the person involved, but it sounds like they were acting a little recklessly (allegedly). Also, there's an exciting development in San Francisco: spring break 2020!!!! Listen to find out details and how to party. And, it's back to animals: we talk about one old man who reluctantly battles foxes. We finish strong with some brief MMA/combat sport talk. Oh, and the cherry on the sundae of the episode is a Mugsy Bogues listener personal story follow-up from last week's episode. Fantastic!
5/11/20201 hour, 11 minutes, 53 seconds
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Episode 244: Johnny Mac Attack

O'Neill starts this week's episode off by talking about watching Eddie Murphy's stand-up specials. After that, Danish brings up how Bert Kreischman had Guy Ferry on his podcast recently, and he brings up some news and notes from what he heard from it. Danish relays a story he heard about Tom Green and his neighbor/hero, Harland Williams. O'Neill provides a first responder celebratory noise-party update and gives an idea of what's going on in his neighborhood when the clock strikes 8 pm. Danish brings up a show he's surprised they've never heard of: Little Women of Atlanta (and other cities). O'Neill talks about falling down a random Bugsy Mogus rabbithole online. Danish gives a quick 90 Day Fiance update. And for the big finale (drum roll please), Danish and O'Neill turn their sights on one time programming success, John MacAfee. They discuss asking him to be on the show and delve into his character (or lack thereof). After that, it's a mixed grab bag of topics: a Netflix documentary, some MMA talk, and other random topics to close the show.  
5/4/20201 hour, 28 minutes, 55 seconds
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Episode 243: 2 Dudes and a Goat Walk Into a Porn Shop...

Howdy, partners! On this episode, O'Neill tells a harrowing tale of an electric bike ride gone awry. He also talks about watching Neftlix's Too Hot to Handle. Danish talks about watching a documentary on Neftlix called How to Fix a Drug Scandal. There's some UFC talk, and a discussion about a web show called Street Beefs. There's a somber moment when Danish reveals someone they've talked about on the show before has sadly passed away. And most importantly, a crazy heist involving an adult bookstore, a pick-up truck, and a goat is broken down.  
4/26/20201 hour, 18 minutes, 40 seconds
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Episode 242: Rodeo High

It's another week of the D+O podcast (the lockdown episodes to be more precise, but we're not going to let that stand in the way of a good time!). We talk about our lockdown experiences around town. Danish has a run-in with an overachieving neighbor while on a walk. O'Neill's neighbors take to the streets to beat some pots and pans. O'Neill talks about a new Neftlix reality/dating type show, and we debate whether we should take the plunge or not. Missing all the good horse talk lately?!? Well, look no further. We discuss Bill Shatner's divorce, and how he received a very interesting item in the split. You horsers aren't going to want to miss this. The horsing around doesn't stop there. Danish shares info he learned on Rushmore, the podcast he did with Thomas and hot hot Peppers. It's shocking (at least to us). There's also some Stockton crime reporting, which leads us to ponder what Stockton yelp reviews are like. There are also belated bday wishes for Steve Seagal, Nate Diaz, and baby Barb. What an unreal week, and an even unreal'er show.
4/20/20201 hour, 22 minutes, 1 second
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Bonus Episode: More Tiger King w/Steve Rannazzisi and Friends

We revisit Tiger King with a bunch of our pals and it's a real humdinger.
4/20/20201 hour, 57 minutes, 28 seconds
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Episode 241: Jet Ski Cornhole

It's another week of quarantine, and we're talking UFC's failed attempt to make 249 happen and the ridiculous "fight island" that Dana White's building. Then, we move on to one of the unluckiest and scrappiest home invaders of 2020. After that, you better take a seat if you love jet skis, cause we discuss one of the most bizarre accidents of all time. So, dig in and enjoy the buffet.
4/13/20201 hour, 15 minutes, 10 seconds
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Episode 240: here's the Situation!

And, we're back! On this episode, we're assisted by Aaron to help with the audio. Thanks, Aaron! We discuss the ever evolving situation with Coronavirus, and how it's been affecting us. Danish describes some strange things he's seen and experienced on the streets. O'Neill talks about driving around and wanting to go back country skiing. They also discuss the new phenomenon of Zoom bombing. If you need a feel good story at this time, look no further: a man and his dog take a nice drive. Also, people in New Jersey aren't letting the pandemic stop them from having a good time. And, the Situation steps up to the plate and does his duty for New Jersey when called upon. Take a listen and stay safe and healthy out there.
4/6/20201 hour, 32 minutes, 9 seconds
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Episode 239b: Rerelease of Unwashed Ham with Edited Audio

It's episode 239 without the lag we were experiencing from doing our first ever remote podcast. Thanks so much to Brian G for editing this and sending it to us. He's a true blue beach pony for life.
4/1/202043 minutes, 42 seconds
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Episode 239: Unwashed Ham

Another week, and we're baaaaaack! First off, apologies for the audio quality this week. Due to these crazy times, we recorded the episode remotely, and the site we used had a bit of a lag. We'll be back to our usual high quality next week! On this episode, we talk about the strange state of the world, and what we're seeing and experiencing around town. Danish has a strange encounter at the pharmacy, and O'Neill has a stranger one on the streets late at night. We talk a little bit more about Joe Exotic (how can you not???) and discuss Big Earl's casting ideas for a Joe Exotic movie. And, we discuss an idiot's attempt at "comedy" during the pandemic. There's a little of this. A little of that. And a lot of what have you. Enjoy!
3/30/202054 minutes, 52 seconds
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Episode 238: The Tiger King

We're back with another episode! That's something to celebrate these days. On this episode, we start off by talking about how the Coronavirus is affecting LA and our lives. We also go over some new guidelines NY announced regarding the virus and lovemaking. Follow the rules! It's not all Debbie Downer-ville because we discuss a documentary that's set the world aflame: The Tiger King. It's got everything you could dream of in a documentary: insane characters, tigers, polygamy, crime, he-said/she-said drama, drugs, more tigers, crazy gunplay, horrible music videos, and even a scene with a guy inexplicably riding a jet ski! Give 'er a listen. And, stay safe and healthy out there.
3/23/20202 hours, 22 minutes, 13 seconds
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Episode 237: Something Unpredictable (w/ John Little)

In these crazy times, we figured who better to come on than John Little. And he did not disappoint! First of all, the new intro song Hot Hot Peppers sent in will get you in the mood for a hard hitting show. It set the pace for us. We talked about the Coronavirus and how it's affected us and Los Angeles. We discover that John is becoming a producer, and things get a little weird when he tells us we're too "unpredictable" to book at his new stand up show. We ask John why he fears Beach Cops, and why he's been ducking coming on the show. John takes some questions from Twitter. We pitch John on some jobs/life paths he should be pursuing (yes, the Wienermobile is one of them!). All in, it was a good time and fun conversation. Hope it puts a smile on your face during a tough/strange time. F' yeah.
3/16/20202 hours, 38 minutes, 41 seconds
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Episode 236: Love Is Blind?

Hello, hello, hello, hello! On this episode, we tackle all sorts of interesting topics. We start off by discussing a team manager for the men's basketball team at illustrious Jackson State. He goes by the nickname "Snacks" and became a real viral sensation recently. We take a REAL DEEP DIVE into the Netflix reality show, Love Is Blind. We also briefly touch on the election (mainly how old all the candidates are...not any real deep political talk here, as usual). There are some fun Comedy Store memories recalled, too. A little of this, a little of that, a whole LOT of fun with some hot sauce thrown in for good measure.
3/9/20201 hour, 44 minutes, 51 seconds
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Episode 235: Wake and Skake (w/ Big Earl Skakel)

The Daddy Man is BACK! And he's got minimal Predator lines (thank the Lord!). We unpeel yet another layer of the onion that is Big Earl. We find out new info and hear new stories, that as usual, amazes us and blows our minds. On this episode, he workshops some premises with us and delivers some real gems that must be heard to be believed. He talks about his beef with Jeremy Piven. He tells some stories that take place back in the day (but that's not his life anymore). It's the usual good time with Earl. Tune in. Everyone's doing it.
3/2/20202 hours, 26 minutes, 4 seconds
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Episode 234: RIP DIY Rocketeer

We start this week's episode on a sad note with the loss of two great men. On flew homemade rockets, and the other helped bald men feel sexy again. They will both be sorely missed. We get into a lot of other shenanigans, too. There's a you-gotta-hear-it-to-believe-it question posed to an advice column that will shock you to your core. We also discuss a school in England offering teens ludicrous advice. We get after a woman for bringing a mini-pony on a flight in a Mexican wrestling outfit (sadly, this is true). Danish talks about a movie he recently saw and ironically enjoyed. Oh, and we even talk about Steven Spielberg's daughter. All-in-all, a real festive time to be had by all.
2/24/20201 hour, 28 minutes, 48 seconds
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Episode 233: Show Me Your Gooper

To start the show, O'Neill plays a voicemail he received after our last show from a very somber and apologetic Brian Holtzman. He then shares some stories from a recent ski trip he took. Danish plays a juicy morsel of a soundbite...it's baby Barb's FIRST contribution to the show!!!! O'Neill talks about a woman who lured deer into her home and fed them. The audio is played and respectfully (as always) dissected. Danish poses an important question: would you rather buy Erykah Badu or Gwyneth Paltrow's idiotic product? The episode is closed with an UNREAL listener submitted song about the Dassman. Oh, and Danish gives a few quick book picks as well. Yes indeedy.
2/17/20201 hour, 37 minutes, 22 seconds
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Episode 232: HOLTZMAN!

You read it correctly. We have Brian Holtzman on this week, and we take a wild ride into his innermost thoughts. He looks into his phone and tells us of his travels and the year the trip took place. We ask him questions about past events at the Comedy Store (that our "sources" told us about). He's very honest and forthcoming and isn't afraid to take the high road! We also asked about his career: going on the road, shows he's appeared on, and what he sees for his future. Oh, and he briefly roasts O'Neill's apartment. All in all, it's a wild ride but a very good one. Listen and find out why this fella is one of a kind.
2/10/20202 hours, 32 minutes, 5 seconds
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Episode 231: Ari Shaffir's Home Phone Number and Address

And, we're back. Danish starts off by detailing his trip to gorgeous Hollywood, Florida. O'Neill talks about a disturbing trend that he discovered out on the slopes at Big Bear. The GREAT Tom Morris is discussed as are some old stand up favorites from back in the day. There are man vs. animal articles, and a guy who wants to settle a court dispute via samurai sword duel. It's all here. And it's all for you.
2/3/20201 hour, 39 minutes, 37 seconds
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Episode 230: Good Ol' Days (w/ Rick Ingraham)

Rick Ingraham joins on this episode! We started with Rick at the Store back in the day and take a trip down memory lane. Rick and O'Neill both discuss their experiences performing in Alaska. We discuss some of the characters we've encountered over the years at the Comedy Store and have a darn good time reminiscing about walking to school in the snow uphill both ways (HIYO!). Give this one a listen. You'll thank us and Rick when you're done.
1/27/20201 hour, 54 minutes, 22 seconds
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Episode 229: Dog the Trout Fisherman

Episode 229 is on and poppin'! The episode starts with a listener email that sparks some great discussion. After that, there's some Connie Mac discussion. We ponder if this means Connor McGregor is back, and who he'll fight next. From there, Danish talks about an extremely talented man he saw in a Costco. It's been a while, but there's a little mountain lion talk! O'Neill talks about a dentist who uses some interesting/questionable practices. The meat and potatoes of this episode is just some top notch journalism. It's a perfectly crafted piece on Dog the Bounty Hunter. This episode has something that will tickle each and every member of your family and not in a creepy way either.
1/20/20201 hour, 41 minutes, 30 seconds
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Episode 228: Posse Man

It's episode 228!!!! The one you've been waiting all your life for. Well, it's finally here. And this one is fantastic. We start out hot and heavy by talking about Sly Stallone's recent Instagram post, which included none other than Guy Fieri. This took on a life of itself and came up throughout the show. Danish tells some stories of his recent travels. There's also IMPORTANT Dog the Bounty Hunter news and DTBH (what Dog's friends call him) family drama. Here what it's all about (only covered on this podcast). If hearing about Fieri and Dog isn't enough, there's a Seagal news item! Oh, what a glorious day! Danish talks about a TLC show that caught his eye recently. There are a LOT of celebrity cameos on this episode (if you're into that kind of thing). All in all, this one should be sent to the Smithsonian.
1/13/20201 hour, 46 minutes, 52 seconds
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Episode 227: 90 Days Haze

New year, same unbelievable podcast!!!! It's the first episode of 2020, and it does not disappoint. The show starts with some light MMA talk. Danish tells O'Neill about friend of the show GSP's move to ensure he sleeps safely in hotel rooms. After that, D+O discuss reality TV. Specifically, the genisuses at TLC. Danish gives an overview to the hit show 90 Day Fiance, and O'Neill reacts to hearing the insanity/brilliance. Listening to this episode will most likely make you more successful and will give you all the information you need to impress at your next fancy dinner party.
1/6/20201 hour, 17 minutes, 50 seconds
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Episode 226: Don't F* with Kitty Cats

Ho, ho, ho the misletoe! Happy holidays, everybody! On this episode, we discuss the Netflix documentary, Don't F* With Cats. Danish chronicles some recent car ttroubles and talks about his new BFF, the towtruck driver. Some holiday hijinks are reviewed, and O'Neill shares some fond Christmas memories. Also, there's breaking Earl "Daddy Man" Skakel news that will blow your hairpiece off.
12/30/20191 hour, 5 minutes, 48 seconds
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BONUS EPISODE: Beach Cops #25 If you like it subscribe @patreon.com/beachcops

People always ask us what Beach Cops is, so instead of trying to describe it we're releasing an episode so you can decided for yourself.
12/19/20192 hours, 14 minutes, 27 seconds
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Episode 225: Hiyawasca (w/ Gareth Reynolds)

Oh yeah, it's time to have Gareth Reynolds back on the show. We get into all sorts of good shenanigans with him. Danish brings up a football commentator who had some interesting tidbits to share during a game. Gareth talks about his experiences on different drugs. Also, we get into Gareth's old job of dressing up as a superhero/other characters for kids' parties. There are interesting stories/factoids dropped about Ari Shaffir and Sam Tripoli. To close the episode, we talk about a story from the UK involving a man and a pile of leaves. Listen to this one. It's good stuff. Well, all the episodes are, so listen to them all.
12/16/20191 hour, 48 minutes, 30 seconds
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Episode 224: Criminal Canines

Episode 224 coming at ya. O'Neill comes out of the gates hot by bringing up the "new" Peloton bike ad that has people talking. We brainstorm some other commercial ideas for Peloton and think of other things the company can do to promote the product. A pair of dog stories are discussed/analyzed/dissected. In both cases, a crime was commited (if a human had perpetrated the act). Listen for yourself to judge on whether these animals should be locked up. Also, this episode is kind of a throwback because we hear a lot from special guests like the Dassman, etc. Mmmm hmmm.
12/9/20191 hour, 42 minutes, 55 seconds
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Episode 223: Stevie Sings the Blues

Episode 223 is here. Finally. You've waited years for it. On this episode, Danish tells a tale of having a medical mishap late at night. He also talks about some excellent new TV shows he recently saw. O'Neill brings up a doctor who had to go to extreme measures to heal a patient on a flight, which brings up so many questions that they have to pull up the article for a deeper dive. A copycat criminal in Toronto made headlines, and D+O break it down like only they can. Danish reveals some PRICELESS audio of Stevie Seagal singing the blues. Make sure you're sitting for this. O'Neill talks about a strip mall he went to on a trip that seems like it was made specifically for him. It's a hard hitting episode, so tie your shoes up tight, put your hard hat on, pack your thermos, and get ready to be entertained.
12/2/20191 hour, 28 minutes, 16 seconds
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Episode 222: Hot Bucketful

The episode kicks off too fast, too furious style with O'Neill talking about his recent road adventures with the infamous Ari Shaffir. Did they go to a fraternity? Quite possible. Did Ari set O'Neill up to be arrested? Quite possible once again. The topic of John Little's new magic tricks came up, and O'Neill was definitely impressed by what he heard. After some road stories and other what have you, a recent news story about a bucket in the beautiful city of Hollywood really captured our imaginations. This episode will tickle your fancy like a classic Steven Seagal song/movie/philosophy.Remember, get 20% off, free shipping, and a free travel bag with the code DandO at Manscaped.com.
11/25/20191 hour, 34 minutes, 12 seconds
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Episode 221: Close Encounters of the Mountain Lion Kind

It's episode 221 of the Danish and O'Neill podcast! On this lovely episode, Danish tells a story of meeting an audience member after a recent show. O'Neill gives an a real behind the scenes look at what it's like to trave with Ari Shaffir. He also describes seeing a "legit demon" on the streets near his place. A "sexsomnia" court case is broken down. And, a teacher commits the hattrick of insanity. All in all, just another day's work for the D+O podcast.
11/18/20191 hour, 17 minutes, 28 seconds
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Episode 220: Fish HEAD (w/ Josh Wolf)

Josh Wolf came on the show, and we had a grand old time. All sorts of shenanigans were had. We talk the Comedy Store (of course), and his beginnings in Seattle. He tells us some tales from when he was in high school and coming up in Hollywood as a young comic. The impetus for him coming on the show was him commenting on a news story on Twitter. Let's just say that said story fell right in the Danish and O'Neill wheelhouse, and a listener reached out to him saying that. The rest is history. An article involving the Boston area is discussed as well. Also, Josh shocks us with a video we've never seen.
11/11/20192 hours, 12 minutes, 17 seconds
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Episode 219: Razored Candy

Coming off a GLORIOUS Halloween, on this episode we wrap-up the holiday with a vengeance. Of course, we have our annual discussion on whether there were razors in the candy this year or not. We discuss the Diaz/Masvidal fight that happened this past weekend, too. A creepy 10 hour haunted house is discussed. We talk trick or treating. And, we talk about one Georgia Sheriff's bold move that is being appealed in court. All in all, it's a real feel good journey that will touch ya right in the pumpkins.
11/4/20191 hour, 39 minutes, 25 seconds
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Episode 218: The Milk Man (w/ Steve Rannazzisi)

Just as we were about to record, there was a knock on the door. Whomever could it be?!? We weren't expecting anyone. We answered the door and saw none other than Steve Rannazzisi standing there! We greeted him and asked how he was doing. After a little small talk, he asked if he could come in. We informed him we were about to podcast. It was then that he uttered "Pooka Williams", which just so happens to be the password required to gain admittance into the podcast. We discuss all sorts of interesting topics with Steve, and a good time is had by all. This one will make you feel all warm and fuzzy inside and out.
10/28/20192 hours, 14 minutes, 11 seconds
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Episode 217: The 7-Up Queen (w/ Eleanor Kerrigan)

On this roast, um, I mean episode, we give you an up close and personal look at Eleanor "shoot from the hip in a refreshing way" Kerrigan. We learn interesting new tidbits about her, like how she was a lifeguard and tried to get people to avoid the parked car at the bottom of the city pool she worked at. We learn about her family's kickball prowess. Of course, there's some Andy Clay talk (how could there not be?!?). As always, Eleanor brings the heat, and it's a real good time had by all, feel good podcast of the year. Amen.
10/21/20192 hours, 28 minutes, 38 seconds
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Episode 216: Jump! Bike Gangs

The show starts out by discussing the buzz over a recent UFC entrance. The fellas weigh in on it and try to figure out what all the hype is about. Then, we reminisce about the time ol' Tombo (former talent coordinator at the Comedy Store) gave Damon Wayans comedy advice. Then, Danish gets into an unlucky day he had at Six Flags. After that, it's on to a swimming controversy! As one of the best amateur swimmers in the country, maybe even the world, Danish definitely has the pool chops to give his opinion on this one. We move on to a disturbing new trend: Jump! bike gangs (as the title states). Watch your backs out there, everybody. Danish gives a mini-Y-update and talks about an annoying experience he had with baby Barb. After hearing about that heartbreak, you can find out about someone who ate a diet with so few vitamins and nutrients that he ended up going blind. Eat your greens! O'Neill has some flashbacks to his childhood and recalls some painful memories. Then, a hero we never knew we had, a man tries to settle a neighborhood dispute with nunchuks and roach spray. Then, there are some odds and ends and other miscellaneous items to close the show. And that's 216 in a nutshell. Careful if you have nut allergies.
10/14/20191 hour, 50 minutes, 27 seconds
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Episode 215: Dassman Pens a Letter

Heeeey there, we start this episod off with some news 'n notes from around town. Danish shares some travel stories from when he was out of town. O'Neill sheds some light of "interesting" practices in foreign locales. Then, he talks about what it's like to hang out with Ari Shaffir. Then, it's on to some Dassman BREAKING news. After that, the letter he wrote to the new Governor of Wisconsin is read and analyzed. Then, another crime is discussed: a man on a college campus who is sniffing unsuspecting students' feet in the library. We then ponder if Antonio Brown planned/staged his fart hijinks at the doctor's office. A new dating term is discussed. Animal time! A couple both have a run-in with bisons. Then, it's some pre-post show post show talk. Mmm mmmm good.
10/7/20191 hour, 40 minutes, 6 seconds
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Episode 214: PayDay w/ John Little

Welcome to the longest episode in Danish and O'Neill history! It's important to note that the quality was NOT affected by the long run time. This one is hard hitting. We discover John's interesting past with PayDay candy bars. John and O'Neill get in a spirited debate about dwarfism vs. little people. John also has a bone to pick with actooooooooooor, Jeff Bridges. Some interesting news stories are discussed/mocked. We tell John some old stories from our das delivering groceries. We also try to get John to start watching Making a Murderer. There's some quality 90 Day Fiance talk at the end, too. All in all, this one will make you laugh, cry, and hug your neighbor.
9/30/20193 hours, 3 minutes, 21 seconds
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Episode 213: Daddy Man (Earl Skakel) Returneth

The Daddy Man is back, and he's got some bones to pick. He details what happened with the dog he tried to adopt, and what upset him on his 70th birthday. It's a real Earl(y) 80's style episode with all the tom foolery and shenanigans you've come to accept from a Big Earl appearance. Oh, and we learn some new fun facts about Earl like how he was "neighbors" with Steven Adler, had a HUGE fish tank in his house, and a swamp in his backyard. This guy has more layers than an onion in a parfait.
9/23/20192 hours, 21 minutes, 4 seconds
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Episode 212: Alfred Hitchcocker

If you're into ornithology, you're REALLY going to dig this episode. Don't know what that means? Fear not, urban dictionary says it's the study of birds. Yes, we dig deep into the world of aves. Don't know what that word means? It's birds! Keep up! This isn't bird watching s' either. These are bonified D+O bird stories. Careful, this episode could just give you nightmares. Oooooo-ooooo-ooooooh!
9/16/20191 hour, 18 minutes, 2 seconds
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Episode 211: Agent Wiener

Danish opens the episode by voicing his concerns about the HBO show Euphoria. He worries for baby Barb's future. O'Neill explains just how many degrees of separation there are between him and Kevin Bacon. Danish shares a CHILLING story he saw on Courtney's neighborhood app. O'Neill fondly looks back at his days as a young college student taking fencing. Then, a smart man who lives in Florida shares his views on how to prevent hurricanes, and the fellas listen to the riveting audio where he shares his hypothesis. After that, a dude in Walmart uses a motorized store scooter to cause some chaos/commit an alleged crime. If that's not crazy enough, some lady tries to break into the CIA building to see a special agent. Not to be outdone, two Arkansas men decided to have a good time by shooting each other with bulletproof vests on. An Ohio school made news/the show by outlawing the practice of naming someone valedictorian. Then, we discuss an interesting candidtate for Senate in Maine. After that, we delve into the world of nullos.
9/9/20191 hour, 37 minutes, 42 seconds
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Episode 210: All Dog the Bounty Hunters Go to Heaven

Zippity doo da, zippity day, it's another episode of Danish and O'Neill to play. O'Neill starts the episode off with a Stockton update (hey, episode 209 was just last week). Danish talks about a Dog the Bounty Hunter interview he stumbled across late at night. Some TOP SECRET Guy Fieri intel is revealed. Then, a disturbing story about vultures is discussed. Danish gets bamboozled by a fake article (maybe Barb being on vacation is to blame?). And, it's finally time for another Y update. So, sit back, or stand, or lay down, or hang upside down, relax or be totally stressed out, and enjoy this one.
9/2/20191 hour, 33 minutes, 29 seconds
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Episode 209: THE 209

On episode 209, we celebrate all that is the 209 (beautiful Stockton, California). We start off by discussing Nate Diaz's recent UFC fight and post-fight interviews (what timing for episode 209!). After that, we hit up a Stockton news site and come up with some real gems. One of them gets O'Neill to air raid sirens level angry. Shame on you, Duffel! Listen to the show to understand what that means. To learn more about what goes on in Stockton, CA, study this episode, dawg.ps. Get 20% off, free shipping, and a free travel bag with the code DandO at Manscaped.com.
8/24/20191 hour, 45 minutes, 13 seconds
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Episode 208: LOOK AT MY KID!!!

Hello there. There's some pre-show talk this week. The fellas stumble upon the topic of whether there are any male twins in the adult film world. This leads them down the path of twindom and all that it entails. School lunches and old school cigarette machines get discussed. There's some brief NFL talk (a rarity on the show!). Staying in the sports world, Lenny Dykstra comes up and gets discussed. We go over a "jealousy competition" that gets out of control. For the first time in a while, there's some mountain lion discourse. Pop Sugar time!!!! It's the article that inspired the show title. It's a doozy. We move on from that beauty to discuss a family who fell prey to pot edibles at a restaurant in Australia.
8/19/20191 hour, 35 minutes, 40 seconds
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Episode 207: Dog Days of Summer

Hey there, happy international fish stick day! I just made that up, but hey, let's try to get that going. On this episode, we start off with some pop culture and sports. Is Steve Harvey involved? You better believe it. We also return to where our bread is buttered (if you know the show well, you know what that means!). Hint: the title ma give you a clue as to what the topic is. We also talk about problem tht's ROCKING the Aspen area. There's a much needed seagull update from the UK. Also, there's a tale from the making of Men in Black that will make you question everything in your life. And, we detail some bizarre happenings in government and crime. Yessirree, this is a good one. Indeed it is.
8/12/20191 hour, 15 minutes, 55 seconds
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Episode 206: Grilling Guy

On this episode, we briefly talk about/describe the taping we did for four episodes of our upcoming ATC show (on youtube), the Basement with Danish and O'Neill. After that, there's some quick UFC talk. Then, we use a beautiful segue (not the vehicle)to discuss a new problem in cities: wild boars. Watch out, everybody. These things mean business. We move on from that scintillating talk about CRAZY charges brought against a ten year old. Then, we have the FIRST EVER article written by Guy Fieri on the show. We also talk about a serial toilet clogger up in Sheboygan. Danish asks O'Neill if he's ever heard of "toilet talkers". Mmmm hmmm.
8/5/20191 hour, 31 minutes, 54 seconds
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Episode 205: Moose Meat and Lobster

We're back! It's been a week since we were here last. On this episode, we get into all sorts of shenanigans. Danish talks about how he was almost puked on and was asked if his beard was natural. O'Neill talks about a new show he discovered, and Danish chimes in with some doozies from 90 Day Fiance. Killer seagulls in England are finally being exposed! They're allegedly the "size of dogs". A creepy professor loses his job for making a student a bizarrely inappropriate offer. Some dude gets freaky with a lady helping him move and brings syrup and blueberry jelly into play. A suspect gets captured in a ridiculous way. There's a lot going on, and it's all grrrrreat. And remember, get 20% off, free shipping, and a free travel bag when you use the promo code DandO at Manscaped.com
7/29/20191 hour, 34 minutes, 16 seconds
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Episode 204: Magical Mo (w/ Earl Skakel)

Big "early 80's" Skakel comes back on the show to "clear his name" after episod 200. He tells some stories about humiliating himself in front of character actors from the 80's. He also mentions sending Robert Loggia a special gift at the Bel Air Country Club dining room. He talks about his latest "enhancement" routine(s) and reveals where he gets his nether regions maintained (he pays someone to do it for him). Earl also has his sights set on a new dog. Fingers crossed! At the end of the episode, he gets into some of his classic voiceover and singing routines. It's a long and strong one.
7/22/20192 hours, 30 minutes, 44 seconds
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Episode 203: "Best Playgrounds in the World"

Hey chickadees, it's episode 203! On this episode, we discuss the passing of Dog the Bounty Hunter's wife, Beth, and just Dog in general. There's also MAJOR Flavortown discussion, centered around Guy Fieri's hilariously awesome recent Twitter activity. Then, O'Neill talks about his European vacation. Highlights include seeing naked men in public parks, trying out Berlin's finest playgrounds, renting a racecar to drive on some mysterious forest track, speeding on the autobahn, going to a dangerous zoo, and riding scooters in traffic. Meanwhile, Danish talks about a concert he recently attended. A hampster vs. hamster story is also discussed. This one is a dooooozy. After that, it's a mixed bag of chewy goodness.
7/15/20191 hour, 52 minutes, 4 seconds
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Episode 202: Friends and Family (w/ Sean Patton)

Sean Patton stopped by to talk about his podcast 5 words, and a lot of other things. For instance, he gets into his experiences of going to 311 concerts (when he was a younger man, don't judge him!). Sean also talks about being in the LA comedy scene in 2006, and even some run-ins with a certain "friend" of ours! It's must hear, especially if you listened to/liked BCUSA. That got us into some Comedy Store talk. We also talk about the man, the myth, the legend?, Ari Shaffir. He also reveals that he was once propositioned by a husband and wife (separately). Mr. Patton is kind enough to give us both nicknames and shares his own. He gets into the story of a strange man he encountered in O'Neill's private party room after the infamous Lou Gomez fight. The conversation goes to and fro and back again. It's a good one.
7/8/20192 hours, 1 minute, 16 seconds
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Episode 201: Marijuana Pepsi

Yello, ladies and gents. On this episode, we do some brief recapping from the live extravaganza that was episode 200. We discuss whether Bush will ever be back on the show as well. Danish talks about a performance he had at the Comedy Store. And, he tells a story about something that happened after that blew his mind and turned his world upside down. Danish plays some special audio that was meant to be played during episode 200. It blows O'Neill's mind. A lot of mind blowing going on in this episode. O'Neill describes a recent encounter with a homeless man in a sleeping bag. Danish then describes a recent encounter he had at a grocery store. It's a mystery! Also, Danish gives a shocking update about the concert venue that is behind his place. We also talk about some rapper named Lil' Nas X and how Guy Fieri is trying to jump on his bandwagon. Then, it's on to some HARD HITTING JOURNALISM about a woman named Marijuana Pepsi. And that's pretty much it.
7/1/20191 hour, 37 minutes, 55 seconds
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Episode 200!!! (Live from the Comedy Store)

This extravaganza must be heard to be believed. We had Eleanor Kerrigan, Earl Skakel, John Little, and Andrew DeWitt join us for insanity and hilarity. Someone didn't show up but listen to find out who broke our hearts. Eleanor is put to the test with a 7-up cake challenge. She is also put on the defensive about dating Ari Shaffir. Earl Skakel does some monologues and has jokes ready. John Little smashes a smoke detector when he first gets on stage and starts out like he's been fired out of a cannon. And, we wrap it up with our fellow Beach Cop and former BCUSA resident, Andrew DeWitt. Every guest brought it and helped make the episode truly memorable and great. Thanks to everyone who came to the live show and thanks to all of you who listen. Enjoy.
6/24/20191 hour, 34 minutes, 55 seconds
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Episode 199: Happy Jabba's Day (w/ Steve Simeone)

As stated in the title, Steve Simeone joins us to promote his new album, Jabba, that's available on iTunes and Google Play. Check it out! We talk about his album, the Comedy Store, the great James Painter, a meal we were once killed at, and all sorts of other fun stuff. It was a great convo and a long and strong episode.
6/17/20192 hours, 41 minutes, 39 seconds
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Episode 198: Oral Crimes

We start off this week's show with a discussion about friend of the show, the Bushman (he likes to party!). Danish then gives a quick update on the Golden State Killer (a criminal he read a book about). After that, he discusses a new medical term he learned the hard way. Then, the convo moves to celebrities going to prom with students, and both Danish and O'Neill agree that this practice needs to stop ASAP. How do you follow that? Well, by talking about the President of the Philippines (no, Dikembe Mutombo isn't there!). This guy gets real loose while giving speeches. After that, we discuss a "crime of passion". That spurs numerous stories of strange/sad relationship drama. One is crazier than the next. O'Neill talks about a couple who caught his eye. Also, there's a discussion about the huge increase in men getting cosmetic surgeries. After that, it's a mixed bag of mixed nuts.
6/10/20191 hour, 41 minutes, 51 seconds
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Episode 197: Level Four Hardness

We come out of the gates with a vengeance on this episode, ya horsers. We start off with some light MMA talk but quickly transition into some quick Guy Fieri discussion. Danish describes a touching martial arts clip he stumbled across online. O'Neill gets into something that made him angry. Danish gives some news and notes from around his neighborhood. After that, we talk about something we never knew existed: raccoon dogs. Apparently, two of them caused some chaos recently in the UK. After that, a moped accident from hell is dissected. Careful on those mopeds, everyone! How do you follow that? With the tale of a corrupt Principal getting a little crazy on a school trip to DC. Oh, and bonus: a service animal is involved! Then, there's an update you can't miss! It's about the woman who married the ghost of a pirate! This one's a real humdinger. Speaking of service animals (from before), Delta is getting sued over an attack. After that, it's a little of this, a little of that, a little what have you...and a LOT of fun. Mmmm hmm. Yup. That's about it.
6/3/20191 hour, 44 minutes, 21 seconds
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Episode 196: Girl Squirrel

This week's show opens with some discussion of an appearance the Bushman made on a cable access show back in the day. There's some Guy Fieri talk! Who doesn't like that?!? He's the Emperor of Flavortown! After that, we talk about a criminal who seriously may be the least intelligent criminal of all time. And that's saying something, but still, this guy is truly once in a lifetime. Speaking of which, a man with the last name Avery gets accused of having some incriminating videos. Shifting gears, we talk about a dude who had a weird experience when cleaning an old organ. Then, it's time for the MAIN EVENT: a HORRIFIC story about how Kevin the girl squirrel terrorizes people at a park in Seattle. How do you follow that? With lemur theft, that's how! Then, there's some pre-post show post show talk. It's guaranteed that you'll laugh at least three and a half times. If you don't, you owe us 10 bucks.
5/27/20191 hour, 21 minutes, 49 seconds
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Episode 195: Gator in the Pants

Listen to the episode that really dissects the Gam of Thrones finale. Okay, maybe not. This episode has a few updates from last episode (they're good!), so we start out with those. After that, we talk about a man trying to smuggle a weapon into jail, a 900 pounder who may have to do some time behind bars, and a woman who may have had an alligator in her pants. Oh, and there's even a classic Diaz brothers call! The crystal clear phone line is back up and running! There's also some "what is happening with fast food" convo. You're gonna eat this episode up with a spork.
5/20/20191 hour, 15 minutes, 1 second
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Episod 194: Jive Turkeys

Happy Mother's Day to you and yours. On this doozy of an episode, we cover a lot of ground. O'Neill starts the show off by talking about an unreal family feud he watched online. Danish gives a sad update that will affect the Dassman.Then, Danish describes his family outing to the zoo and a bird show he had the pleasure of witnessing there. After that, a story about a turkey infuriates O'Neill. Fans of the air raid siren will like this one. (Just imagine the air raid siren playing) O'Neill tells a story about how he may now be on Bill Burr's radar...or security camera. Finally, it's that time again! The Y report is back, BABY! To close the show, it's a little bit of this, and a little bit of that. Listen to this one with your mom. She'll love it. If your mom is unavailable, find someone else's mom and listen to it with her.
5/13/20191 hour, 43 minutes, 4 seconds
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Episode 193: Tiffany

We open the show by talking about a stellar documentary we both watched about the 80's pop sensation, Tiffany. It features a GREAT cast of characters. There's some Comedy Store comings and goings reported on. O'Neill discusses his theory that the show may have been infiltrated by spies. Danish provides some audio from the "club" behind his place. Check out this hot up and coming talent! We pontificate on whether Ari Shaffir's moving hiring practices are wise or not. After that, Danish talks about a super creepy/scary/disturbing book he recently read called "I'll Be Gone in the Dark". Then, we switch gears and talk about the meeting of the minds that is the Dice Man vs. the Rice Man. That leads us into a discussion about the great Brian Holtzman. A sculpture in Vermont that is right up O'Neill's wheelhouse is described. Aaaaaand, once again, the fast food industry is up to bizarre marketing strategies. What is it now? Arby's rowboats? Burger King private jets? Wendy's capes? And there's some miscellaneous pre-post-show talk. Come and get it, suckas.
5/6/20191 hour, 52 minutes, 38 seconds
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Episode 192: the Meal Train

The Game of Thrones fans' number one podcast is BACK, baby! This week, O'Neill talks of his recent travels, which involved a trip to Cave City and a stay at a haunted hotel. Danish describes an awkward encounter he had with a neighbor and something that happened to him at the grocery store. After that, D+O talk about what happened to a 21 year old Chinese woman when she watched the Avengers movie. There's also a HOT Coachella update. If you went, you may want to head to a doctor. A few bizarre happenings from the MMA world are discussed. There's a quick Guy Fieri update (who doesn't need that in their life?). Then, it's on to a story that was sent to us so much that we just had to cover it. YOU wanted it. YOU got it. We update a despicable character we discussed a while back. Then, it's a throwback to the air raid sirens because a story gets under O'Neill's skin. After that, it's some miscellaneous Tom Foolery. Enjoy, ya weirdos.
4/29/20191 hour, 43 minutes, 39 seconds
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Episode 191: Meet the Teeters

O'Neill opens the show talking about a trip he's taking that will involve both cave exploration and a stay at a haunted hotel. After that, there's an important Rachael Ray update! Danish gives an update on the weird "club" that's in a backyard behind his place. The good times keep on rollin' with the tale of a guy who sued his parents for destroying his adult film collection. HORSE ALERT! It's been a long time, but we had to cover the tail (get it?!?) of a man "admiring" horses in fields. Then, it's on to a mystery that one father tried to solve. The law enforcement in this one is UNREAL. Finally, it took almost 200 episodes to report on a sauna arrest! After that, it's an introduction to a great family, the Teeters. It's the story of a boy, his iguana, and his dad who got arrested for using the iguana in a bar fight. If that isn't crazy enough, a dude threatens people with "an army of turtles".
4/22/20191 hour, 30 minutes, 21 seconds
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Episode 190: Karate Mom

And we're back with another episode to titillate the masses. On this funky fresh episode, we get into all sorts of wild hijinks. We open the show with breaking news about Brendan "the Dassman" Dassey. Spoiler alert: he's not going to Wrestlemania just yet. We also discuss a mother/son duo who rival Dassman and his mom Barb(the mom is referenced in the episode title). These two are quite the pair! A possible new segment is debuted: when pet ownership goes wrong (two different stories discussed on this subject). Also, a disgusting new mayo is so gross that we can't tell if it's even real. Hear all this and more, on...the Danish and O'Neill podcast.
4/15/20191 hour, 44 minutes, 1 second
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Episode 189: Cats?!?

Meow. Get it? Cause of the episode title? HILARIOUS stuff. Anyhow, on this episode, there's a very special Wrestlemania recap from none other than Brendan Dassey and his mom Barb. There's also some quick fast food talk. After that, there's a whole bunch of animal related topics discussed. One is about how a mom saved her son from a mountain lion. Another is about a woman getting attacked by a jaguar at a zoo. There's some falcon on a plane talk and even a sad/crazy discussion about a "drug lord" and his cat. There's also some miscellaneous fun thrown in there to boot. You're gonna love this one with all your heart.
4/8/20191 hour, 40 minutes, 28 seconds
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Episode 188: Big Earl (w/ Earl Skakel)

It's not every day that a guest provides their own sound board, but Earl Skakel did just that. Big Earl came on and opened up on a wide variety of topics. He told us about the time he was almost molested at a professional wrestling show. He also got into a time he felt he was #metoo'd in showbiz. He relives and reenacts a horse race from the 70's. What can't this man do?!? Does he talk about his experiences in massage parlors? Maybe. What about gambling advice? You'll have to listen to find out! Also, we put him to the test and test his voiceover acting chops. Listen and hear if he passes. Enjoy!
4/1/20192 hours, 37 minutes, 6 seconds
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Episode 187: Steroid Nips

Welcome. Danish starts out this episode by detailing how he fell down a Bushman rabbit hole on youtube. He ended up watching highlights of Bush's son play pro basketball. After that, Danish talks about making an appearance on Steve Rannazzisi's podcast, and how thanks to Steve's son, he learned a neat new term. He also describes Sam Tripoli's theory on how you can tell someone is on steroids (hint: look at the title of the show). Guy Fieri's KILLER episode of shoe shopping on Complex is dissected. After that, a listener email is read, and you must hear it to believe it. Steve Seagal's strange Australian media appearances are also described and scrutinized. We also discuss a cautionary tale about taking LSD and going to school. Shockingly, those two things don't mix. Speaking of shocking, some weirdo got a DUI while driving with a lemur and other animals, but now he wants them back. We also discuss a guy who has an emotional support alligator. Seriously. Bill Dillman.
3/25/20191 hour, 33 minutes, 49 seconds
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Episode 186: Mother (I barely know her)

Make sure to listen all the way to the end on this one! There's a surprise, and you'll enjoy it. So, stop being difficult about it. As the title of the show suggests, this one is about parenting (specifically, mothers). There are super cool parents who do blow with their kid and his friends in Colorado (allegedly). A "Dear Abby" like write-in poses an interesting question regarding family. Then, there's the tale of a nightmare Mom who went viral for trying to get her kid free swim lessons. Two different Moms freak about because people make fun of their kids' names.
3/18/20191 hour, 49 minutes, 9 seconds
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Episode 185: Play in my Sandbox

On this doozy of an episode, we cover a lot of different topics. O'Neill starts out by talking about a podcast he had the chance to listen to recently. We switch gears by discussing KFC's new attempt at getting attention. Then, we stay in the world of food with a story of "prankster" former pizza restaurant employee and another one about a disgruntled delivery driver. Later, an Australian sausage party is investigated, and we talk about what it means to be an autosexual. Spoiler alert, it has nothing to do with cars. We close the episode by talking about Ken Kratz, the DA from the Making a Murderer cases. We review his 2009 text messages that forced him to resign from his position. Hint, they're VERY scummy. And Dassman has thoughts about them. Enjoy.
3/11/20191 hour, 23 minutes, 46 seconds
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Episode 184: A Beautiful Day in the Neighborhood

Due to technical difficulties, we had to start this one dry (without a theme song). We persevered and even played the theme song a little later in the show. O'Neill talked about a flat Earth documentary he saw on Netflix. Danish goes into detail about how he and his family were assaulted at the zoo. O'Neill rejoices over new information that's come out about the man who killed a mountain lion recently. Danish discusses what he learned by reading a biography about Mr. Rogers. You'll be surprised. He also later talks about reading the book Jaws. We talk about a man and his dog's harrowing battle to survive in Oregon. And, a new, flavorful beer is profiled. There's a little something for everyone. So, gather everyone in your neighborhood and listen to this one as one big, happy family.
3/4/20191 hour, 55 minutes, 57 seconds
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Episode 183: John Little Hates Seatbelts

John Little joins us on this episode. We start out by expressing sadness about the passing of Brody Stevens. We share some memories and stories about him. Later, we discuss a junior college football coach, who takes his job VERY seriously. A man is almost arrested for using a colloquialism. John expresses how much he HATES being told to wear a seatbelt and forcefully expresses his support of the US of A. Does it get a little weird? Yeah, maybe. Listen and judge for yourself.
2/25/20192 hours, 17 minutes, 17 seconds
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Episode 182: Garage Tiger and Laundry Lion

Heeeeeeeeeey-lo,On today's episode, we tackle a lot of interesting topics. There are two mountain lion related stories. One is a follow-up of the man who killed a mountain lion with his bare hands. The other is about a couple who received quite the scare. There's also a garage tiger in Houston, Texas. A woman married a zombie doll, and we discuss their nuptials. Danish does a few quick book reviews. A spicy real estate listing in Eleanor Kerrigan's home state is analyzed. There's a little something for everyone. Oh, and there's plenty of Dassman and Bill Cosby talk. Oh yeah.
2/18/20191 hour, 45 minutes, 45 seconds
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Episode 181: The Night Hiker and Bologna Bandit (w/ Ryan Sickler)

Ryan Sickler was kind enough to join us this week. There's a LOT of animal talk (it's clean! seriously!). There's a much needed P-22 update, and O'Neill sheds light on whether he was responsible for the mountain lion death in Colorado. Sickler tells tales of his friends from growing up. They're interesting fellows to say the least. We also break down a man who was dubbed the bologna bandit. The episode was a lot of fun, so just stop reading and listen to it. NOW! Why are you still here? Seriously, stop.
2/11/20191 hour, 47 minutes, 20 seconds
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Episode 180: Big Bossman Bert (Abducted In Plain Sight)

On this episode, O'Neill is fresh off his trip to Utah with Ari Shaffir, Steve Rannazzisi, Bert Kreischer, Sean Patton, and Mark Normand. He provides an update on the shenanigans that took place and sheds light on why Bert now wants to be called "the big Bossman". He also gives an injury report from the trip. After that, we talk about the Netflix documentary, Abducted in Plain Sight. Both the documentary and our discussion will blow your mind. Danish talks about Guy Fieri's latest venture, Triple D Nation. And that's all she wrote for this week's show. Yup.
2/4/20191 hour, 29 minutes, 40 seconds
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Episode 179: The Detestables

On this week's show, we talk a little more about the Fyre Festival documentaries. We also cover a wide range of people, who are as the title of the episode suggest, are detestable. There's a morbidly obese man who allegedly made a flight attendant wipe his buttocks. Not to be outdone, a substitute teacher tried to get revenge on the principal she hates. A British family gets thrown out of New Zealand for being awful humans. Oh, and a 20 year old freaked out cause he couldn't find a parking space while skiing. Solid episode about awful people.
1/28/20191 hour, 37 minutes, 7 seconds
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Episode 178: Januhairy

The Danish and O'Neill podcast is back in business for yet another episode. This week, we discuss a multitude of topics. O'Neill talks about two Fyre Festival documentaries he watched. A HOT new West Hollywood eatery is discussed, and the menu is scoured. A young man achieves his dream, and we break it down. Ladies, there's a cool trend in the world of armpit hair going on, so don't miss out on this one! Gary Keillor's pad is finally on the market, and we dissect an article about it. A Missouri man is arrested after getting caught with a bizarre combination of items. We also go over a love rectangle involving four cops.
1/21/20191 hour, 56 minutes, 58 seconds
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Episode 177: Highway Chicken

Episode 1-7-7. Oh yeeeeeah (said as the Macho Man). This episode has something for everyone: a man who licks doorbells, a woman who drinks out of a Pringles container, a pizza thrower, low-brow board games, Guy Fieri talk, Dass-man talk, and even a few Eric Hites updates. What's not to love? Ooooh oooh, what's love got to do with it? Oh, and as the title suggests, there's also some discussion of highway chicken. And other interesting convos that will impress your friends, neighbors, and pastors at dinner parties.
1/14/20191 hour, 39 minutes, 32 seconds
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Episode 176: K-Hole w/ Ari Shaffir and Steve Simeone

On this episode of Danish and O'Neill, we were supposed to record from a jacuzzi. Sadly, it didn't happen. We're joined by international man of mystery, Ari Shaffir, and all around good guy and pizza maker, Steve Simeone. We pick Ari's mind about his recent travels, mainly focusing on some underground bar Ari went to in Berlin. Unfortunately, he didn't make it to the dungeon. O'Neill announces what he thinks the disease of 2019 will be. Drug use is discussed, and the topic of k-holes is explored. It's a real doozy of an episode, so listen up, suckas!
1/7/20191 hour, 33 minutes, 48 seconds
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Episode 175: Milk-shake-down

Happy New Year! 2019 is DEFINITELY the year of Danish and O'Neill. Nostradamus predicted it!!!! The episode starts off with some light Evil Genius (Neftlix doc) talk and a little brief MMA talk. We hear from the Dass-man and then discuss a young Canadian boy who called the cops cause he didn't like his Christmas present. Next, there's a much needed update from a CRAZY story that took place in Canada as well. You crazy Canadians! After that, it's our first ever Sesame Street controversy!!!! Grover, you dirty devil! Not to be outdone, Chris Brown is in trouble, and we had to talk about it because it involved the illegal possession of a monkey. PETA closes out the year strong with a suggested on ban on certain animal-centric phrases. You go, PETA! As a tribute to 2018, we cover the craziest headlines out of Florida for the year. They're as good as you'd imagine, if not better. After that, we discuss a man who NEEDS to get on My 600 Pound Life. So, there ya have it. Yeeha. Yippy kay ay.
12/31/20181 hour, 14 minutes, 21 seconds
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Episode 174: Pablo Escobear

Recorded on Christmas Eve Eve, this episode will get you feeling all holly and jolly. While most podcasts take a week off, D+O put out a quality episode for you, our dear listeners. On this week's show, we feature three different animal stories, all crazy in their own right. The animals in question are a bear, sea otter, and a seagull and goose. What makes these specific and unique? Well, tune in to hear all about it. We also discuss a young woman who tragically was not allowed to fly with her pet fish. Keep the tissues handy. It's a real tearjerker. To close out a mostly animal-centric show, we talk about a poacher who received a unique sentence from a judge. Enjoy and happy holidays! Ho ho ho!
12/24/20181 hour, 16 minutes, 28 seconds
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Episode 173: Knife in a Pool

What a lovely episode this turned out to be! We opened the show with a fantastic new song. It's groovy and will make you want to bust a move like Young MC. Danish leads the show off with some tales from the road. O'Neill follows suits and talks about some things he's seen and experienced around town. There's a mega-important update on this week's show. Don't miss it! You don't want to be left out from the around the water cooler chatter. Amazon is on the receiving end a few times this episode. What's that mean? Listen and find out, ya impatient weirdo. A great story from a dollar store in Florida will change your life and how you look at others. The episode closes with a Y update and some miscellaneous topics that will have you begging for more. All in all, this episode will bring you holiday cheer. So, pound some eggnog and listen to it.
12/17/20181 hour, 40 minutes, 27 seconds
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Episode 172: Poor Pony (shame on you, Indonesia!)

Hey yo,On this week's edition of the show, we cover a lot of ground. We open with an update on Paula Deen's husband, Michael. After that, we play a quick round of "who's the better practical joker". The competition pits an older gentleman versus a high school student. Both of them a good practical joke/are kind of bonkers. Then, it's off to the wild kingdom, where we discuss two different stories about primates. They're both depressing, but one takes the cake in terms of a sad animal story. As the show title suggests, poor poor Pony. We wrap it up with a great grandmother in Texas avenging the loss of her mini horse. What a power-packed episode!
12/10/20181 hour, 7 minutes, 54 seconds
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Episode 171: Dasslemania

Danish, Dassey, and O'Neill! On this week's episode, we take a deep-dive into season 2 of Making A Murderer. It's all things Dassy (and Avery, but let's be honest, the Dasseys always steal the show). We also cover a story about Dass-man's first lawyer, Len Kachinsky. This guy is a real piece of work. He describes himself as a "cat socializer", which is another way of saying, "I'm a REALLY creepy dude." We give out the first anti-Hites award (someone who shows hard work and determination...unlike Eric Hites). We also discuss a missionary who tried to visit an Indian island, where inhabitants do NOT want visitors. Yeah. Yeah.
12/3/20181 hour, 8 minutes, 11 seconds
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Episode 170: Smoke Detectors w/ John Little

John Little joins us on this week's program. Our conversation covers the gamut. For one, John expresses his view on smoke detectors. He also gives an impromptu lesson on old Vietnamese children's toys. This leads into a discussion of the 2018 Toy Hall of Fame class! The strange "drinking" habits of Indonesian teens is discussed. An article/incident involving a miniature horse is analyzed. A crazy lawsuit in Zimbabwe is covered in detail. Oh, and an UNREAL story about a PGA golfer and an orangutan is investigated. It's a power-packed show. Listen. And then listen again.
11/26/20182 hours, 20 minutes, 11 seconds
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Episode 169: the Beaver Barbarian

Hey there. Welcome to episode 169. On this episode, Danish starts off by talking about a concert he recently attended and then gets into his experiences in a mommy and me class. After that, there's a discussion about a man, meth, and a beaver (that sounds fake, but sadly, it's all too real). At some point, O'Neill rants about a Canadian school banning the Diceman's favorite jacket: the goose feathah. There's an eye and ear opening discussion about deaf youngsters learning a hard truth in the classroom. Also, a man who wants to legally change his age and Delta's HORRIBLE customer service gaffe are delved into as well. Oh, and a "beautiful soup boy" is also discussed.
11/19/20181 hour, 27 minutes, 48 seconds
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Episode 168: the Piggyback Bandit

Hey, you true blue beach ponies! Another luscious episode is here. Danish talks about Home Depot and the swingers club behind his place. A guy who is probably friends with the Bushman, the piggyback bandit, is really dissected. We also discuss the correct nomenclature for pregnancy. Then, a polyamorous married couple share their bed with a magician (that's a DREAM D+O topic!). Drink it while it's lukewarm.
11/11/20181 hour, 21 minutes, 23 seconds
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Episode 167: Bulldogged

It's episode 167! Hooray! O'Neill starts the show by describing a fart mystery that's taking place in his building. After that, we look back at a special family bond we learned about at the All Things Comedy Festival in Phoenix. Danish then tells a story about recently having to call 911. There's some brief UFC talk! O'Neill is confronted over reports of needles and thumbtacks in candy. Does he finally admit this is happening every year?!? FINALLY, there's some Making A Murderer discussion!!!!!! Then, it's off to Scotland, where a man had a run-in with a bulldog. After that, we review a story of a 5 year old who tested positive for meth after Halloween. We end with a SAD story from a zoo in Indiana. Enjoy!
11/5/20181 hour, 7 minutes, 49 seconds
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Episode 166: Live from ATC fest w/ Eleanor Kerrigan & Steve Rannazzisi

Danish and O'Neill live from the 2018 All Things Comedy festival! We got the queen of the 7-up cake, Eleanor Kerrigan, on with us, which was a BIG get! Also, Steve "Cheese Parmazissi" Rannazzisi joined us after having a VERY interesting day (we get into it with him on the podcast). Make sure to listen to the whole show (like you wouldn't anyway), but an older Catholic couple wandered into the podcast studio and tried to convert O'Neill. It must be heard to be believed!
10/29/20181 hour, 56 minutes, 55 seconds
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Episode 165: Hallowiener

Hey all you, trick or treaters, it is the FIRST ever holiday addition of the Danish and O'Neill podcast. Spoiler alert, that holiday is Halloween (I know, the title made it a little hard to figure out). We spend the episode discussing spooooooky Halloween-related topical news, and O'Neill spins some yarns about his recent trip to Spain. If you want to find out who would win in a fight: a man on a lawn mower or a man with a chainsaw, this is the episode for you. If you want to hear about aquarium hijinks, again, listen to this. Hey, we're not forcing you, just gently nudging you in the right direction.
10/22/20181 hour, 32 minutes, 17 seconds
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Episode 164: Monkey Bus Driver

Ooooooh yeah, it's a new episode of the Danish and O'Neill podcast. On this episode, we start off by talking about a sad case of child abuse (in this case, a birthday party theme that we just can't get behind). Then, it's a case of "who did it better"? It's a battle of the bus drivers! You'll have to hear what happens with these two crazy transpo-heads. Spoiler alert: the title kind of gives one away. After that, it's an update about the lady who says she has relationships with ghosts! We hop on the Danish and O'Neill jet and head to Japan to talk about armpit advertising and a hermit who just wanted to die naked and alone on an island. Did he get his wish? Then, we talk about a guy who felt he was betrayed by a gym's slogan. To wrap it up, there's some light Seagal talk.
10/15/20181 hour, 9 minutes, 34 seconds
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Episode 163: Beaten Mac 'n Blue (Connie Mac is OVER ft. a phone call from Bill Burr)

What a day to be alive!!!!! Conor "the king" McGregor's BS reign is over! Ding dong the witch is dead. On this episode, Danish opens the show by discussing a strange encounter he had at a gas station. A UFO is involved. He also gives a brief update about the swingers club that is being built behind his place. After that, there's a VERY VERY VERY special phone call from the one and only, Bill Burr! Then, it's on to some UFC 229 discussion. Do we support Khabib's antics? Oppose them? There's a lot to talk about, so take it in. There's some quick Drake talk (a first for the show). After that, we stick in the rap game and talk about something that almost took out Lil' Xan. It's a DOOZY! We end it with a UK university banning clapping. Enjoy, ya weirdo cakes.
10/8/20181 hour, 2 minutes, 37 seconds
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Episode 162: Rhinestone Turtles w/ Eleanor Kerrigan

Eleanor Kerrigan is back once again to regale us with tales of her misguided childhood in Philadelphia. She talks about her Uncle Tom and Grandpa Ace among other things. Of course, we roast her every chance we get. We also discuss an interesting story about a turtle. This leads us to a convo about butter and tuna. And obviously, there's lots of 7-up cake talk.
10/1/20182 hours, 23 minutes, 10 seconds
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Episode 161: The Deli Snitch

Rejoice! It's episode 161 of the Danish and O'Neill podcast. And, a two hours of power at that. We haven't done a two hour'er in a while, so soak it in. This one opens with us talking about food you can get at the fair. A character named Chicken Charlie is discussed. After that, Danish talks about a conversation he recently overheard, which involved a strange roommate dispute. A documentary is quickly discussed (foreshadowing...the star of it is someone we once discussed on the show). Then, one of the more embarrassing court cases is discussed in great detail. Keeping with the crime and punishment theme, next, we talk about a woman, who wrote a book about killing her husband, perhaps doing what we she wrote about. After that, it's off to Bolivar, Ohio, where a woman is being accused of a felony for sampling some deli ham at her grocery store job. Not to be outdone, a dude was arrested for putting soda in a water cup at a restaurant. There's even some Guy Fieri and Gary Keillor talk. After that, there's some pre-post show post show talk. Your dog will LOVE this episode.
9/24/20182 hours, 1 minute, 46 seconds
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Episode 160: Front Hole

Yeah, buddy. It's episode 160, and it's a real barn burner. On this episode, we open by discussing why the Comedy Store allows one particular individual to roam its hallowed hallways. There's some brief Connor McG and Khabib talk, and D+O predict who they think will win. If you miss true blue beach pony talk, it's back! The Wild Horse Fund announces how they plan on protecting the horses from Hurricane Florence. It's been a while since we've skewered the youth of America, and if you've missed that, it's your week. In an ongoing topic of debate, the youth of America are pushing to have oral presentations banned from school. Then, we discuss the trendy new term "front hole" that's taking the world by storm. Other topics include Aretha Franklin's death leading to violence, strange usages of toothpaste, and much much more.
9/17/20181 hour, 41 minutes, 48 seconds
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Episode 159: The King of the Slappers

G'day mates, it's yet another stupendous edition of the Danish and O'Neill podcast. Rejoice! On this week's episode, all sorts of super important discussions take place, which isn't really abnormal for the show. Danish gives some updates from his neighborhood and touches on the Bird Scooter situation in Los Angeles. Russian slapping competitions are discussed and analyzed. Like true journalists, we cover a story on Zafar the dolphin, who lives in France and is getting into some trouble lately. "You're a beautiful animal, but..." Next, we meet a 20 year old who either has the best luck in the world or the worst luck in the world...it depends on whether you're an optimist or pessimist. There's also a long awaited Y report!!!!! O'Neill even talks about his night out at the Magic Castle. There's a little bit for everyone.
9/10/20181 hour, 37 minutes, 36 seconds
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Episode 158: Ellismania Recap

On this week's show, O'Neill discusses his experience at Jason Ellis' Ellismania in Las Vegas and talks about his fight versus Luigi Gomez. Celebrity callers leave messages for O'Neill. Listen and learn.
9/3/20181 hour, 47 minutes, 10 seconds
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Episode 157: The Bikesturbator

This episode was pre-recorded, so if you're looking for a fight recap, it will be on next week's show. That's not to say that this week's isn't a doozy cause it is. Danish describes the local goings-on around his neighborhood, including a few sightings of the "parrot lady" and an obnoxious guy at CVS. There's a long awaited Eric Hites update. Is he close to embarking on his journey across America? No. But, still listen to find out more. TLC has struck gold with yet another great show. It truly is the learning channel. Also, a Texas Grandma shot a guy for getting a little crazy while riding his bicycle. Listen and enjoy. Then, tell a local fireman about the show. He/she/they (whatever pronoun they prefer) will be sure to love it.
8/24/20181 hour, 8 minutes, 8 seconds
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Episode 156: True Blue Beach Pony

This week we dive right back into the animal kingdom for a very special episode. We've got big hairy beavers, an obsessed squirrel, and one true blue beach pony.
8/20/20181 hour, 11 minutes, 50 seconds
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Episode 155: Mickey "BTTW" Gall

We got UFC fighter, model, and known Lou Gomez sympathizer, Mickey Gall, into the All Things Comedy studio to talk about both his and O'Neill's upcoming fights. Mickey was forthcoming and discussed many different aspects of MMA and how he prepares for fights. He even gave O'Neill some advice. Wait for the M. Night Shyamalan turn this episode takes. It just may knock you on your keister. Enjoy!
8/13/20181 hour, 15 minutes, 22 seconds
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Episode 154: Comrade Seagal

This episode has a lil' something for the whole family. There's some Steven Seagal talk (he was just given a position by his boy Putin). We talk about weak parents paying tutors to help their kids become better at Fortnite. We also play a bit from the Comedy Store legend, Jim Painter!!!!! Thanks to listener Michael for unearthing this gem. Of course, there's some bigfoot erotica talk and even some discussion about the TSA's awesome new project. Tune in to hear what the hubbub's all about.
8/6/20181 hour, 39 minutes, 51 seconds
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Episode 153: The Bell Beefer (w/ John Little)

On this fantastic episode, John J. Little (no relation to Lou J. Gomez) joined us. We talk about all sorts of interesting topics. For instance, O'Neill warns John about drinking out of plastic water bottles. That leads to a discussion of a study that stated plastics can effect the size of men's genitalia. There's some Domino's Pizza talk, and we try to get to the bottom of a cheesy bread scandal that is tearing the city of Philadelphia apart. We also talk about the Comedy Store, O'Neill's upcoming fight, John's time working at Olive Garden, his near fight with a girl in 5th grade, and much much more. Listen for yourself to find out what everyone's talking about.
7/30/20182 hours, 24 minutes, 37 seconds
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Episode 152: Bobby "the brain" Dassey

Ground control to Major Tom, it's another episode of the Danish and O'Neill podcast. On this stimulating episode. we discuss our experiences at Skankfest. There's travel talk, and you get to hear what it's like to go to the Shvitz Palace with Ari Shaffir in NY (shout out to Dave and Boris!). What other show is covering that?!? That's right. None of them. There's some quick Guy Fieri and 90 Day Fiance talk, too. As the show title suggests, there's some talk about Bobby Dassey, and a new theory that Steven Avery's lawyer is trying to get the court to consider. A sad article about a zoo is discussed, and we also talk about a book that's a must-have in every horrible pervert's collection. Saddle up your favorite horse and enjoy. Giddy up!
7/23/20181 hour, 34 minutes, 45 seconds
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O'Neill-Lou Gomez Press Conference from Skankfest 2018

Ellismania 15 Fight press conference
7/17/20181 hour, 9 minutes, 2 seconds
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Episode 150: D-pics

Whats up, all you rattlesnake-a-maniacs?!? Ready for another power-packed episode of D+O, brother?!? Well, regardless, here it is. This episode is a real smorgasbord (much like Lou Gomez's dinner table). We cover a little bit of everything. Danish talks about some news and notes from around his neighborhood and even a brief Hollywood Y story. He also talks about a show that just popped up on his radar, 90 Day Fiance. There's a long awaited Ronnie Coleman update. Yeeeeeeah, buddy! Ain't nuttin' but a peanut! O'Neill discusses his reaction to Andy Dice Clay pick Lou Gomez to win the fight (spoiler alert: he's beyond devastated). There's some fight talk in general. Also, there's a description of a bizarre MMA fight that recently took place. A Missouri State University study that got shut down is discussed. Hint: it involves d-pics (hence the title of the episode, ya dingus!). Tombo Morris makes a few appearances. The Dice Man as well. There's some brief UFC talk, and then some much needed post show Lou Gomez talk. And, O'Neill finally realizes who Lou Gomez's comedy makes him think of. It's flattering. You will NOT want to miss this episode. It's easily the best thing you'll listen to all week. Slither well this week, rattlesnakes!
7/9/20181 hour, 51 minutes, 20 seconds
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Episode 149: Alleve?

This episode is a rollercoaster of emotions. Happy, sad, confused, scared, frightened, intrigued, ya know, the whole gamut. We start off with a double dose of sad news: a Dassey update and a death on the best show of all time, Pawn Stars. Danish talks about a woman he overheard asking a "pharmacist" a question, and some other news and notes from around his neighborhood. Other topics discussed include "forbidden fruit", a guy who likes to shoot the s', rattlesnakes, and the Netlflix show, the Staircase. This episode will pair nicely with a frosty rootbeer. Enjoy. The podcast is served.
7/2/20181 hour, 24 minutes, 19 seconds
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Episode 148: Flying Wieners

It's episode 148 of the Danish and O'Neill podcast. Rejoice! Holidaaaaay, celebraaate! On this episode, all sorts of strange and interesting topics get discussed. Danish talks about some things going on in his neighborhood lately, and O'Neill discusses a recent scare at his building. O'Neill gives an update on his fight with big Lou Gomez. Then, D+O move on to discuss an incident at a recent Major League baseball game (it involves a hotdog cannon). After that, there's talk about a steamy situation involving an Akron, Ohio fire station. Sound the sirens (not for anger, but in this case, romance). Then, it's back to where our bread is buttered: a story about a man and a dog. Oh boy...it's back. Strap in and enjoy, folks. And this is one you'll want to sit around the hearth and listen to with your whole family. Trust us on this one.
6/25/20181 hour, 27 minutes, 20 seconds
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Episode 147: Lou Gomez

Meow, everyone. Today's show is a real doooooozy. We discuss all sorts of beautiful topics such as: the Pasadena chalk festival, an O'Neill family wedding, garbage quesadillas, a woman fighting a bobcat, Gary Keillor emails, Derrick "the black beast" Lewis, sticking your head in a tailpipe, Lou Gomez: plumber extraordinaire, and much, much more. Take it all in. There will be a test on it later, and yes, it the grade will go on your permanent record. Good day. And night. And mid-afternoon.
6/18/20181 hour, 46 minutes, 33 seconds
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Episode 146: Public Nudity

It's time for yet another episode of the Danish and O'Neill podcast. On this episode, O'Neill discusses the recent drama surrounding his fight as Jason Ellis' Ellismania with the Argentinian trouser snake, Louie J. Gomez. Danish discusses an article he read about Russian soccer hooligans who meet in the forest to have insane fights. The gents also finally address the pandemic...joggers who can't stop themselves from defecating in public. This time, it strikes Australia. Another Australian story goes on the fellas' barbie, when they discuss a man's small dog that got killed by his "pet" crocodile (confusing, I know). A dingus biting shark is brought into the discussion as well. There's a lot to digest here. It's steamy and will keep you entertained. Meow.
6/11/20181 hour, 32 minutes, 45 seconds
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Episode 145: GSP Your Pants

Ey yo, chico. Welcome back to the Danish and O'Neill podcast. In this edition of the show, O'Neill discusses his rigorous taekwondo training regimen that he's using to prepare to fight the Puerto Rican Rattlesnake, Luis G. Gomes. He also tells a story about a medicine ball mishap he had. Danish talks about something embarrassing that he witnessed at Trader Joe's and gives a graffiti update from his neighborhood. Danish then gives the highlights of Georges St. Pierre's interview with Joe Rogan. It's power-packed! After that doozy, Danish talks about a grocery chain's blunder when it came to putting a certain word on a cake. Then, D+O discuss why FBI agents, intricate dance moves, and guns should never mix. There's also an airplane mystery that would even stump Sal Zuno and Sharketti. There's a discussion about an animal that just may be procreating to death. To wrap it up, D+O discuss the documentary, Wild Wild Country. Sop it up with a biscuit, ya weirdos.
6/4/20181 hour, 41 minutes, 58 seconds
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Episode 144: Eyetalian Football (w/ Eleanor Kerrigan)

Aye there, mateys! On this week's luscious episode, we have special guest and Kid Rock Cruise comic, Eleanor Kerrigan, on the program. We get foot loose and fancy-free with the convo, and it takes more turns the Mississippi River. Some of the topics that are covered are: O'Neill's upcoming fight, how the Dice man should take away his support of Big Jay Oakerson because he spurned O'Neill, the Dice man and his gloves, fake sports leagues (Eleanor alleges there's a pro football league in Italy), pet tigers on the mean streets of Philly, and Eleanor's awesome new bit about taking a train to Newark. Listen. And tell your landlord about the show.
5/28/20181 hour, 52 minutes, 35 seconds
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Episode 143: Hortons Hears a Poo

Your top source of news and information is back for the week. We get into a whole host of topics this week. There's a mountain lion attack in Washington state that we had to discuss. We also update the crazy story from last week about a woman who texted a man she dated 65,000 times. You won't want to miss this. Then, after that, we discuss a video that's made the rounds where a Canadian woman defecated in a coffee shop. In groundbreaking news, we blow the doors off a scandal...bullying in nursing homes. Speaking of bullying and misbehaving, we also discuss a 47 year old woman who thought it would be a good idea to bring brownies with laxatives in them to a company party. There's also a trail mix style variety of tom foolery that covers a variety of topics. What are you waiting for? Get in there!
5/21/20181 hour, 34 minutes, 17 seconds
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Episode 142: Psychos

On this week's episode, O'Neill starts things off by talking about a phone call he had with his fight opponent, Luis J. Gomez. Danish then reveals a disturbing fashion trend he noticed in a store. After that, D+O discuss an story about a woman who thinks it's necessary to ask a newborn for consent to change their diaper. Then, we discuss a woman who sent a man she went on an online date with 65,000 texts. And then we move onto a man who was practicing "karate" on swans in an Orlando park. After that, we discuss a reason you should NEVER use a 7-11 microwave. Finally, we give a reason to never "horse around" with your dog. There's a multitude of lessons to be learned from this episode. You're welcome.
5/14/20181 hour, 24 minutes, 4 seconds
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Episode 141: Super Pooper

Hey all you Steven Seagal, Garrison Keillor, and Guy Fieri fans! On this week's episode, we delve into all sorts of fun current events. For example, we start off by discussing a serial pooper who caused a sting operation to be launched to end his reign of terror. After that, we find someone else being accused of wrongdoing. In this man's trial, there are two details that the jurors are SICK and TIRED of hearing about. What are they? Listen and find out, mmmmm'kay! But it's not just that. We stick with the theme of smoooooth criminals when we discuss a Judge who admits to having a serious problem. Then, it's off to Indiana where a raccoon nearly OD'ed on drugs! I know. It's sad, but hey, we had to report it. Sticking with the crime and punishment theme, it's the tale of a man who was HIGHLY intoxicated and attempting to make love to a car. After that, it's some post show talk. This episode is chock-full of life lessons, so listen carefully.
5/7/20181 hour, 21 minutes, 24 seconds
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Episode 140: You're My Boys, Blue and Fish!

Ahoy, maties. What week to be alive! Why? Cause there's another new episode of the Danish and O'Neill podcast, ya dingus! This episode is going to rock your socks off. Maybe even your top. And bottoms. Especially if you're wearing pajamas. We start the show off discussing O'Neill's upcoming Ellismania fight against the Legion of Skanks podcast's Luis J. Gomez. After that, we discuss movies about dogs, which brings us into a fascinating story about a Colorado man, his ex-gf, and their dog, Bubba. This one is a DOOZY. Then, we discuss the "coolest" substitute teacher around. A man named Fish. I know. It's confusing. We even get some Fieri talk in as well. This episode is power-packed. It's definitely going to change your life for the better!
4/30/20181 hour, 29 minutes, 11 seconds
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Episode 139: Baby Barb

Heeeeello, baaaaaaaby! As the podcast title suggests, this episode is about the birth of Danish's child. We also get into fun stuff like recent movies, documentaries, and UFC fights. Danish also tells of an interesting situation in his neighborhood that he just can't get enough of. It's the first episode in a long while that has no article discussion in it. Oh, and we start the episode off by discussing the recent passing of the Comedy Store matriarch, Mitzi Shore. I probably should have led the paragraph off with that, right? Too late now. Enjoy, ya weirdos.
4/23/20181 hour, 32 minutes, 16 seconds
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Episode 138: Valpo Cupcake Conundrum

Yello! It's the Wrestlemania night edition of Danish and O'Neill! We start the show off by talking about the latest incident involving Connie Mac McGregor. After that, we discuss a not-so-secret pregnancy salad that Courtney tried to get this baby out of the oven. When that scintillating discussion is over, we tackle an article about some fat shaming that took place in a Valparaiso, Indiana bakery. Next, it's a job opening that MANY of you will be interested in. If you're not, you should be. Do you have any pond cleaning experience? If so, you're a shoe-in for the job. From that beautiful news piece, we head to a theme park in Orlando, Florida, where a woman has a complaint with the park's employees over what she describes as a "humiliating" experience. Then, it's time for a long awaited Y report. It's been too long! From there, it's some pre-post show post show talk (does that even make sense? it does to me, okay!). Come and get it, ya freakazoids.
4/9/20181 hour, 25 minutes, 45 seconds
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Episode 137: Return of La Bouche (w/ the Bushman)

On this week's episode, we finally get the legendary Bushman back on the show. He came in ready to go in a beautiful suit that was tight-fitting in the best of ways. We talked about all sorts of things with the Bush and even touched on his new career as a paparazzo. There's no way to describe an episode with the Bush. You just have to listen.
4/2/20181 hour, 41 minutes, 38 seconds
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Episode 136: Monkeys, Horses, and Rockets Galore (w/ John Little)

Jumpin' John Little joins us on this week's program. We discuss all sorts of topics such as: the limo driver turned rocketeer, "Mad" Mike Hughes, elderly sprinters, pastry truck robbery, Australian train hijinks, horses in nightclubs, Miami monkeys on the loose, and much, much more. Give it a listen to hear what everyone's talking about around the water cooler.
3/26/20181 hour, 31 minutes, 2 seconds
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Episode 135: Farts on a Plane

This week's episode starts with us discussing the holiday of Dyngus Day. Want to know what it's all about? Well, we'll give you a hint. Get your pussywilllows ready! After that, we listen to an unbelievable commercial for a defunct martial arts studio. It will move you. We then go over some listener emails, including one from the living legend, THE BUSHMAN! After that, it's a discussion about an article that will shock you. It involves a samurai sword, a jilted lover, a gamer, and martial arts training. Then, it's an update from the guy in jail in England who refused to move his bowels. After that, we share the story of a monster mountain lion found in Washington. We even have some time to discuss a recent controversial flight! Things got crazy on a Transavia flight. You'll have to hear it to believe it, folks. After that, there's random talk of Seagal, Ryan Mutombo, and other shenanigans. Get 'er while she's hot and happy Dyngus Day!
3/19/20181 hour, 22 minutes, 42 seconds
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Episode 134: Romance Death Match (Round 2)

Oh, what an episode this week. It's a real titillater. O'Neill starts the show off by telling a story about one of Ari Shaffir's fans and something he witnessed when said fan met his hero. After that, we discuss Tommy Morris' latest "comedy" show. We then break down a GREAT match up of two people whose love lives definitely aren't the norm (sorry, no horses this time). After that, it's some South Bay high school wrestling talk and even some Stockton, CA convo. There's also some pre-post show talk about Bob Ross, and a cliffhanger is set up for next episode. Just listen, okay?!? Stop being so difficult.
3/12/20181 hour, 30 minutes, 34 seconds
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Episode 133: Grandmaster Dass

Oooooooooh, heavens to Betsy, it's another beautiful episode of the Danish and O'Neill podcast starring none other than us, Danish and O'Neill (duh!). We come firing hot out of the starting gates in this episode. There's some brief hamster-flushgate updates (from listeners). O'Neill discusses his comedy/ski tour with Ari "too hot for Twitter" Shaffir. Danish tells of a recent mishap he had on a tricky pair of stairs (they were like MC Escher stairs!). There's also a bunch 'ems first hand witness account! We switch gears with some brief UFC talk. We find time to talk some Stevie Seagal and what he's been up to lately (it's a real doozy as usual). Oh, and there's a HORSE story! Is it "that" kind of horse story? Hmmmmm. Maybe it's not. Listen and find out! We even give an update on Brendan "the Dass man" Dassey. This episode is full of more twists and turns than an old country road. Put your helmet on, space cadets, cause you're in for a treat.
3/5/20181 hour, 16 minutes, 55 seconds
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Episode 132: Dirty Dingus Magee

Heeeeeey you guuuuuuuuuuuuys! It's yet another scintillating and titillating episode of the Danish and O'Neill podcast. This week, we start off talking about a little known Frankie boy Sinatra movie entitled Dirty Dingus Magee. After that, there's a hyena update (that involves the Danish's loved ones!). Wondering what's been going on with Jared from Subway??? Well, we have an update about what he's been up to behind bars. We keep movin' and shakin' because after that, we discuss a HOT new movement in schools...the banning of the concept of best friends. Sorry, besties. It's OVER! Then, it's on to a man in Indiana who's taking the coppers to court! Is he right? Wrong? You be the judge. Asking yourself, "hey, why haven't they talked about Stockton in a while?!?" Well, you're in luck. We blow the dust off the ol' pontoon and head on up to Stockton for a two-pack of Stockton stories. Because Stockton is a city of the future, we discuss an article about a "time traveler" who "passed" a "lie detector test". And that's all, folks!
2/26/201854 minutes, 39 seconds
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Episode 131: Hamster-Damn

Happy President's Day, everybody! It's a BIG holiday, so we hope you're all acting accordingly and really living it up like the crazy mofos you all are. We start off by talking a little about the new Karate Kid youtube show trailer. We quickly move on to discuss A+E's latest hit, Undercover High. Is Scottie Maples on it? Probably. After that moving convo, we shift gears and read a listener email where someone has a "transformative sexual experience". It's yet another listener who is traveling the world like Carmen Sandiego. Wondered what happened to the limo driver turned "Rocket Man"? Well, we have an update for you. Then, we're off to the UK, where there's a MAJOR standoff taking place in a jail. We're bobbing and weaving on this episode, because after that, we cover a story about a BIG controversy that's rocking the world...Peter Rabbit (the kids movie). All downhill from there? HELL NO! It's time for a support animal story. This one is quite a doozy. Poor hamster. Adios amigos.
2/19/20181 hour, 3 minutes, 36 seconds
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Episode 130: Milkin' It

Hola, come estan? Bien bien. Es tiempo para mas Danish y O'Neill. This week, we start off by updating a few stories we've discussed in the past: the former limo driver turned space explorer and the woman who posts breastfeeding videos to youtube. We also discuss a judge who's a candidate to be the Governor of Ohio and made an interesting proclamation on Facebook. After that, we talk a near killer whale attack, a drone lifeguard, babies in make-up, and many other of life's mysteries and intrigues.
2/12/20181 hour, 18 minutes, 41 seconds
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Episode 129: Peacock Plane

Heeeeeeeey Macarena! It's another delectable episode of the Danish and O'Neill show. We start off talking about the man of the hour, the international ju jitsu practitioner-man of mystery, Chase Moore. He sends in an email filling in some of the blanks on his interesting lifestyle. O'Neill has a long awaited go-kart update. After that, we get into what you all want, the peacock story. Don't know what it is? Well, listen and find out! Jeez. We also get some words of wisdom from Pilot Mutombo! After that, we discuss a Reddit post and try to figure out if it's real or not. Either way, it's a doozy. Then, it's off to some college called Macalaster (KEVIN!) for a well needed Gary Keillor update. Tsk tsk, Gary, you dirty old man. We also say a quick RIP to P-23. Big fashion update: Guy Fieri is now a fashion icon. Good day.
2/5/20181 hour, 6 minutes, 26 seconds
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Episode 128: Barney

Hey there pickle heads,It's yet another week of the Danish and O'Neill podcast. To start out the episode, we discuss what appears to be the end for Boner City USA. What a glorious run...After that, we check in on some news regarding Gary Keilor. We also learn a LOT about the man who was inside the Barney suit for years. If you have $350, you just may be able to find out.O'Neill talks about a haunting documentary he saw that shines a light on the strange world of people who turn their houses into Halloween attractions/haunted houses. Listen before bed at your own risk!A listener letter really inspires both of us to take on more adventures. Enjoy the show, ya gravy guzzlers.
1/29/20181 hour, 27 minutes, 13 seconds
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Episode 127: Delta Delta Delta!

Howdy, everybody! This week starts out with a (literal) bang as we discuss a security guard who walks into a 7-11 with gun a-blazin to prevent an attempted robbery. After that, we talk about our new favorite airline, Delta. They've decided to take matters into their own hands and make it harder for people to fly with fake support animals!!!!! Finally. Someone's taking a stand. We then delve back into Seagal's work of fiction (we didn't know it was fiction when we discussed it a few episode's back), the Way of the Shadow Wolves. We even read some GLOWING Amazon reviews. To keep it fair and balanced, we then do a story that involves Jean Claude Van Damme. Apparently, he did something that made him break into tears recently. We then do a quick fight round-up and discuss Saturday night's Bellator and UFC fights. O'Neill discusses a story of a a 19 year old college student making and then posting some racist videos. After that winner, we move on to more winners who are taking part in the Tide Pod Challenge. Who doesn't like the taste of detergent??? It's the new ice cream. We move on to discuss a man punching a police horse, a smelly woman we used to deliver food to, and a morbidly obese couple who lost weight and had sex for the first time in their eleven year relationship. Danish also shares an embarrassing blunder he committed at the Y.
1/22/20181 hour, 15 minutes, 38 seconds
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Episode 126: Trash Wizard w/ Mack Lindsay

On this week's show, we have Mack Lindsay, our old friend and co-worker from our Comedy Store days, join us. Of course, we get into all things Comedy Store related and discuss our (Bruce Springsteen) gloooory days. Like a nice, lazy river (at either a water park or in the wild), the convo meanders here and there, to and fro and will have a little something for everyone. Well, what are you waiting for? Listen to it already, ya weirdo!
1/15/20181 hour, 40 minutes, 59 seconds
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Episode 125: Fish Orgies

Just like that STD you've been having trouble kicking, we're baaaaa-aaaaaack! It's 2018, and Danish and O'Neill are back in town. Danish kicks off the show with an announcement (that many of you already know, but hey, some may not). If you dooooon't know, now you know, (bad word). After some lighthearted banter, we discuss the terribly sad news when it comes to Guy Fieri. We then discuss an article about a 30 year old British man who got arrested for doing something that's a little out of the ordinary. O'Neill shares a story about a recent run-in he had with a weirdo at the Comedy Store. Then, it's YET another story of a "service animal" gone wrong in a public setting. Enough is enough! Then, as the name of this week's show suggests, we discuss a scientific study involving fish orgies. After that stimulating discussion, the show shifts gears and discusses a Pizza Hut employee who was wrongfully terminated (for doing her job to the best of her ability!). To close the show, it's a LONG overdue Y report. There's a lot that needed to be reported on. Enjoy, ya freakazoids.
1/8/20181 hour, 28 minutes, 37 seconds
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Episode 124: Ghosts vs. Chandeliers

Hey there, beautiful people. Another episode of the Danish and O'Neill podcast is in the books. This week's show gets started with a bang via an original reworking of the Danish and O'Neill theme song that was so beautifully written by Sean Aylward. Thanks to Pepper for sending it in. After we got over how moved we were by the song (it is that good!), we did a quick UFC/mma round-up, discussing the state of the sport and some strange and interesting events that happened at a recent UFC event. We then quickly revisit some Gary Keillor talk. After that, we give a Brendan Dassey update (it's bad news for the Dass-man). We even somehow manage to get on a strange Teenwolf tangent. Then, it's on to the maaaaaain event (of the podcast). We discuss two articles, which pins ghosts vs. chandeliers. You'll understand more when you listen. Enjoy. Oh, and the show ends with a bit of a cliffhanger as well. Listen and find out.
12/11/20171 hour, 4 minutes, 6 seconds
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Episode 123: Why, Gary, Why???

Fear not, good people, episode 123 is upon us, and it brings everything you could want in a podcast. We start out with a spontaneous update of what's been going on lately with various homeless people in LA. We then quickly switch into second gear with some good ol' fashioned Dog the Bounty Hunter talk. What's Dog been up to, you ask? Well, listen and find out, ya dingus. Then, we discuss a police officer who showed up to a trial just to taunt someone who shot him three times with...yup, KY Jelly. Sal Zuno and Officer Sharketti, give that man a medal! After that, it's time for a report from the animal kingdom that involves a berserker of a brown bear on the loose in Siberia! Okay, okay, we've teased you long enough. Finally, we discuss the one, the only: Gary "the tf" Keillor. If you haven't been following the news, you won't believe your ears. We then set our sights on Connie Mac. He's been up to his old tricks as of late, and we're unamused. Finally, we wrap it up with a nice bow by discussing a bizarre crime that terrorized a family for years. And there it is. That's your show for the week, ya weirdos.
12/4/20171 hour, 23 minutes
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Episode 122: Limos In Space

Hey there, weirdos. It's time for your weekly helping of Danish and O'Neill. This week's edition starts out with some ramblings from Thanksgiving. Danish spins some yarns about his old man, while O'Neill talks about an interesting gig he had recently. Danish then tells a story about almost getting his old high school put on lockdown (through their own incompetence!). After that, we discuss Manute Bol and his son Bol Bol. We move on to discuss an article about a bar crawl called Fiericon. Are we for it? Against it? Listen and find out. We also discuss a man who intends to build his own steam-powered rocket to fly into space. What could go wrong??? Then, a story about a couple who doesn't have sex irritates O'Neill. Lastly, we get into what the Navy has been up to in Washington state. Mmmm hmm. That's it, I reckon.
11/27/20171 hour, 23 minutes, 57 seconds
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Episode 121: Transracial Trouser Snakes

Hey jive turkeys, it's the Thanksgiving week edition of Danish and O'Neill. We open the show with an article that discusses famed Los Angeles mountain lion, P-22, heading down out of the hills to bring the fight to O'Neill! Boooooold move, P-22. Then, we discuss an interesting tale of a transracial man. It must be heard to believe. And it's touching. You'll laugh. You'll cry. You may have an accident in your pants. After that, it's a creep sweep update with yet another story about the one, the only...Steven Seagal. After that doozy, it's air raid siren time, as we discuss a man trying to pass off a squirrel as a support animal, but his condo association isn't taking it! Keeping it in the animal kingdom, we discuss a young German man, who had a surprise for police officers who arrested him. We end the show with two tales:A.a mystery that will baffle even the greatest of Danish and O'Neill detectives2.a fight over french fries, involving a man named Donald CrumpHappy Thanksgiving to those who celebrate it. To all others, have a grrrrrrreat week and all that other good stuff.
11/20/20171 hour, 7 minutes, 53 seconds
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Episode 120: Feeding Frenzy (with special guest: Andrew DeWitt)

Rise 'n shine, sweet listeners, a new episode of Danish and O'Neill is upon us. This week, we have special guest Andrew DeWitt sitting in for some mayhem. We sprint out of the starting gates by discussing a fascinating new program Harvard put on for their students. There are some interesting tangents during this discussion that include but are not limited to: pet-play, use of fingernails on your privates, and stretching the ol' sack. A little while later, Andrew treats us to some renditions of dirty Christmas songs, so gather your family around the hearth and play these ditties for them. We then discuss an interrogation that went horribly awry for the policemen who were conducting it. Andrew reveals a fantasy he has (I won't give it away, but it involves someone sitting, I wrote "sitting"! on his chest). After that, we get into "feeders", and a woman who is trying to make a career out of eating on camera for her loyal followers. There's also a much needed update on what got into the Toy Hall of Fame. It's nearly two hours of insanity for your listening pleasure. This episode will pair nicely with baked beans and frankfurters.
11/13/20171 hour, 57 minutes, 47 seconds
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Episode 119: Gay (lion) Pride

Yeeeeeeello, everybody, and welcome to episode 119. This week, we open talking about Bushman's list of demands to get back on the show. Then, we segue (like Kevin James in Mall Cop) on to the age old debate: are people tampering with Halloween candy? Danish presents O'Neill with a few different instances of the po-lice saying that candy had been tampered with, but O'Neill still remains a doubting Thomas. Danish makes an Earth shattering announcement about his long lost secretary/assistant Barb. After that, we discuss an article about an EDGY comedian finally being called out for pushing the envelope just a little too far. About damn time. We move on and discuss a daredevil who made a plea to his fans to pay his medical bills for a stunt gone wrong. Wondering where the Seagal talk is? Well, it's RIGHT at this point in the show. Once again, Seagal is caught up in the "creep sweep". After some much needed Seagal talk, we move on to an article that really tickles our funny bones: it's about gay lions in Kenya. Sadly, that is not a joke. Finally, the show winds down with some UFC 217 talk and a call from the NEW champ, Georges St. Pierre! There's even some post show talk. Listen and tell 58 of your closest friends, family members, and strangers about the show. Please and thanks.
11/6/20171 hour, 40 minutes, 9 seconds
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Episode 118: Two Tears in a Bucket (ATC Comedy Festival Recap)

On Sunday, our fair heroes returned from the All Things Comedy Festival in Phoenix. What did they do immediately upon returning home? Did they rest on their laurels? HELL NO!!!! We got off the road after a fun but tiring weekend and recorded a brand new podcast. It's that kind of work ethic that has gotten us the nickname "the hardest working men in podcasting". On this episode, we recap our wild adventures in Phoenix. They include but are not limited to: witnessing a man being peed on, a crazy hike, O'Neill having a run-in with Johnny Law, buckets of beer, live shows, meeting new comedians, swimming, eating, sneezes, listener interactions, strange eating habits, and on and on until the break of dawn. Also, if that's not enough for you, there's a long awaited Y report at the end of the episode. Enjoy the hell out of it and then sop it up with a biscuit.
10/30/20171 hour, 15 minutes, 49 seconds
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Episode 117: The UFO Clearinghouse

Paaaaaarty peeeeeeople (remember that from the hit song Whoomp There It Is?)! We start off the show by wishing all of you a happy P-22 day and discussing the "legendary" cougar and O'Neill's chances against it. O'Neill then discusses his experience of a day at the "horse track" with the "ponies". Did he win? Did he lose? Listen and find out, ya dingus. Danish then tells about his recent experience at a concert, and O'Neill accuses him of being an "old man". SHOTS FIRED!!!! We get into an interesting crowd surfing side tangent. After that, we discuss the recent Twitter activity of one Eric Hites. We move on from Mr. Hites and discuss another D+O favorite: Steven Seagal. There have been some damning reports and allegations regarding Sensei Steve. Inspired by a listener tweet, there's some "rippers 'n relationships" talk. The D+O debate of: are razor blades being putting in candy is finally settled. Or is it?!? You be the judge. Then, it's on to a MUCH needed flying humanoid update!!!!! Chicago, you're in our thoughts and prayers. Then, it's on to the longest post show talk session of all time! Enjoy 'er. Or suffer the consequences.
10/23/20171 hour, 47 minutes, 43 seconds
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Episode 116: Drunk to the Future

Hiiiiiiiiiyee. It's yet another glorious episode of Danish and O'Neill for your listening consumption. On this week's edition, we start out with a much needed Eric Hites update. Spoiler alert, he's on the move again! After that magic, we make a perfect transition into a story about someone using a drone to try to lure children away from a school. Welcome to 2017! What's not to like? Then, we discuss an article that enrages us...it involves a real service animal that gets put in danger for absolutely NO reason. Stop fake service animals now. Stop the insanity! When that stimulating convo comes to an end, we head to Valparaiso, Indiana (home of the great Ryan O'Neill). Apparently, it's not a good place to rob a supermarket. The stories just keep-on-a-comin'...cause after that, it's on to a story about a guy who could be friends with Georges St. Pierre. Listen. You'll get it. And then you'll remember that sentence and just laugh and laugh. Ever wonder what local government officials get into in their free time? Well, we discuss a story about one who was fired for a "hobby" he was into. Gray muzzle 4 life! (Again, you'll understand when you hear the episode. Get off my f'in back!) Then, there's some pre-post show talk and some post show talk. There's a little something for everyone. Tell your cat.
10/16/20171 hour, 23 minutes, 40 seconds
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Episode 115: Breastamania (Live from the 2017 LA Podfest!!!)

It's the first ever episode of Danish and O'Neill that was recorded in front of a live studio audience. We went to the LA Podfest and really tore the house down (and that's us being modest). People came from all over the world to see us perform, and it was a PACKED house. We started off with some cougar talk with Danish asking O'Neill if he had anything to do with P-41's untimely death. After that, Danish describes some experiences he's had lately. For one, make sure you have a dollar handy if you ever make it out to Hollywood. Then, we discussed a story of a 12 year old asking his mother a VERY personal question (with a tangent for a fun marathon story). The crowd was clamoring for the type of story that put Danish and O'Neill on the map...you guessed it, an article that involved bestiality. And believe you me, they ate it up. Once that intelligent discussion is over, we moved on to a topic that got O'Neill's rage pumpin'. It was an article about a couple who decided to raise "free range children". Speaking of "pumpin'", the next article we decided to tackle dealt with a woman using a breast pump to quench the thirst of the good folks at Burning Man. We finish the episode with some strong post-show talk, and the cherry on top of the sundae is a story about sex toys washing up on a beach in Italy. To the man in the kilt, we'll win you over...some day.
10/9/20171 hour, 31 minutes, 2 seconds
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Episode 114: Seagal's Back!

Bonjiorno, everybody. It's another episode of Danish and O'Neill. This week, we start by talking about what's been going on in our lives, ya know, out and about and around town. There are tales of impromptu concerts, ram's horns, knives in trees, bike rides that happen upon adult film sets, Comedy Store hijinks, and MORE! After that, we discuss an interview that people were buzzing about. Let's just say it's the return of Steven Seagal talk. We dissect the interview he did this past week and take the man we love to hate to task for his bizarre comments. After a lengthy and well-needed roasting (for all parties involved), we move on to a school round-up. Teachers have gone crazy!!!!! There's a tale of a gym teacher who's gone rogue, a coach sticking by his wife, and a flute maker who's in hot water over the way the flutes were prepared. There's a little bonus wrestling talk as well. Enjoy. And if not, hey, it's a free podcast, so it's a good deal.
10/2/20171 hour, 37 minutes, 18 seconds
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Episode 113: w/ Gareth Reynolds of the Dollop!

On this episode of the Danish and O'Neill podcast, we have a VERY special guest. It's not Gareth Keillor. It's Gareth Reynolds of the hit podcast, the Dollop. It's a real rapid fire, shootin' straight from the hip episode. We waste no time getting right down to the biz. O'Neill talks about his problematic neighbor and some of his strange habits. Then, it's on to a story that we ABSOLUTELY had to discuss: the mad pooper who is tearing Colorado Springs apart. The story takes a lot of twists and turns with strange tangents along the way. Also, we have a new favorite cop: Jonathan Sharketti. This guy's got the moves like Jagger. O'Neill then describes a strange video that he came across. And, boy, is it strange. After that, we discuss an ooooold article (it may be old, but it's well worth talking about). It's about a high school football coach who wasn't afraid to go the extra mile to motivate his team. We wrap it up with some post show talk. Enjoy it, folks!
9/25/20171 hour, 48 minutes, 45 seconds
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Episode 112: Wandering Through Beef Cannon Hills

Heeeeeeey yooooooou guuuuuuys, it's episode 112 of the Danish and O'Neill podcast. And you know what that means, two family-sized portions of funny to spice up your week. We start out this week's episode by talking about our experience at the Los Angeles Rams game. Then, we have some special announcements regarding the show. After that, we channel the great Sal Zuno by trying to figure out whether a woman was right or wrong in a scenario that took place in Nashville, TN. We segue to a story that takes place in London that discusses the "fatberg". Then, it's what you've all been waiting for: the announcement of the 2017 finalists to get into the Toy Hall of Fame (O'Neill gets his pantalones in a bunch). An already strong episode gets stronger, when we report on a new bill that will hopefully be passed in Boston. It's at this point that we report on a story that captivated us more than any story has in a long, long time. Cannon Hills...it rocked us with a mystery that we may never solve. Listen to find out. It will change your life. Then, we wrap up the show with a nice bow with some miscellaneous topics. Hakuna frittata.