Dr. Megan Stubbs joins Tristan Taormino to talk about her book Playing Without A Partner: A Single’s Guide to Sex, Dating, and Happiness (Cleis Press). They explore being single in the U.S. today, body mapping and acceptance, sex with near strangers, and how to live your best single life. Special thanks to Dipsea and Intensity by Pour Moi for their support of this episode.

Comedian and co-host of the popular podcast Sex Talk With My Mom, Cam Poter joins Tristan Taormino to catch up and cover as many topics as they can! They talk about pandemic sex, polyamory, dating apps, the relationship escalator, talking about sex with your mom, and the complex magic of kissing (and why it’s sometimes underrated). Special thanks to Dipsea and Lorals for their support of this episode.

Political theorist Lorna Bracewell joins Tristan Taormino to discuss her new book Why We Lost the Sex Wars: Sexual Freedom in the #MeToo Era. Bracewell breaks down what has been lost in the history of the sex wars and creates a revisionist history which breaks down the narrative of only two “sides” (anti-pornography feminists and sex-radical feminists), reveals how classic liberal ideas infiltrated the arguments of the time, and why the voices of women of color are unrepresented in the history. She connects the contentious time for feminism, sexual politics, and free speech with the current era of #MeToo, Slut Walks, and trigger warnings. Special thanks to Calm and Dipsea for their support of this episode.

Dr. Marie Thouin joins Tristan Taormino to talk about her research on compersion in non-monogamous relationships. She defines compersion as “our wholehearted participation in the happiness of others. It is the sympathetic joy we feel for somebody else, even when their positive experience does not involve or benefit us directly. Thus, compersion can be thought of as the opposite of jealousy and possessiveness.” They discuss compersion as a feeling, a practice, and a goal and some practical ways to access it. Dr. Thouin holds a PhD from the California Institute of Integral Studies.⁠ She is the founder of Love InSight, a mindful dating and relationship coaching practice where she supports growth-minded people of all backgrounds and relationship styles to foster soulful, intentional love. Special thanks to Manscaped and Lorals for their support of this episode.

Professors and longtime scholars on sex work Barb Brents and Ron Weitzer join Tristan Taormino to talk about their work with Scientists for Sex Worker Rights. They talk about hysteria and lack of solid research around sex trafficking, the fight to decriminalize sex work, and what’s happening on the local level in various states. Barb Brents is a co-author of Paying for Sex in the Digital Age (One World/Random House) and The State of Sex: Tourism, Sex and Sin in the New American Heartland (New York University Press). Ron Weitzer is the editor of the anthology Sex For Sale (Routledge). Special thanks to Dipsea and Manscaped for their support of this episode.

Michael Lowenthal reads from his new book Sex with Strangers (University of Wisconsin Press) and he and Tristan talk about the polymorphous perversity of the stories which include a sexy hook up for aging gay man, a hot priest and some surprising confessions, and an unexpected honeymoon night. They also reminisce about missing LGBTQ bookstores, the rise of LGBTQ publishing, and other tales from the 1990s. Michael is the author of four novels: The Same Embrace, Avoidance, Charity Girl (a New York Times Book Review “Editors’ Choice” and Washington Post “Top Fiction of 2007” pick), and The Paternity Test (an Indie Next List selection and a Lambda Literary Award finalist). Special thanks to Manscaped and Pour Moi for their support of this episode.

Sagan Morrow, author of the Polyamorous Passions romcom series, and Tristan Taormino talk about the evolution of romance novels, breaking new ground with different love and relationship styles, grappling with common polyamorous challenges, and the power of representation. In addition to writing, Sagan helps other multi-passionate creatives and solopreneurs save 10+ hours every single week, maximize productivity based on their personality, and take strategic action to finally achieve their dreamy goals—without burning out. Special thanks to Manscaped and Intensity by Pour Moi for their support of this episode.

Lucie Fielding joins Tristan Taormino to talk about her new book, Trans Sex: Clinical Approaches to Trans Sexualities and Erotic Embodiments (Routledge). She argues we must move beyond trans narratives that are defined by trauma, oppression, genitals, sexual loss, and sexual function. She urges us to reject cis heteronormative ideas about bodies (“The presence of a part should not necessarily lead one to presume that an individual wishes that part interacted with in culturally prescribed ways”). Lucie offers real tools for clinicians and gender non conforming clients to embrace erotic embodiment, discover their desires, and redefine sexual satisfaction. Plus, she and Tristan chat about what cis gender folks can learn from trans people about embodiment, desire, sex, and sexuality. Special thanks to Manscaped and Lorals for their support of this episode.

Stella Harris joins Tristan Taormino and they chat about a favorite subject: threesomes! Harris has the goods in her new book The Ultimate Guide to Threesomes which explores everything from myths and common pitfalls to logistics and power dynamics. Tristan and Stella do a deeper dive into the subject, talking about how to take baby steps, setting expectations, finding other folks, and unicorns. Stella even tells us how to explore a threesome fantasy without other people! Stella Harris is a Certified Intimacy Educator and Sex Coach who uses a variety of tools to guide and empower her clients and she teaches everything from pleasure anatomy, to communication skills, to kink and BDSM. Stella is also the author of Tongue Tied: Untangling Communication in Sex, Kink, and Relationships. Special thanks to Pour Moi and Dipsea for their support of this episode.  

Torrey Peters joins Tristan Taormino to talk about her national bestselling novel Detransition, Baby (One World/Random House). They talk about her unapologetic approach to writing the book (“I wrote this book for trans women”), the sex scenes that Tristan loved, being seen, multiple kinds of transitions, gender anxiety, community, bad decisions, womanhood, and motherhood. And they roll around with the question: how did such a trans and queer book become a mainstream runaway bestseller? Torrey Peters is the author of Detransition, Baby as well as the novellas Infect Your Friends and Loved Ones and The Masker. She also holds an MFA from the University of Iowa and a Masters in Comparative Literature from Dartmouth. Torrey rides a pink motorcycle and splits her time between Brooklyn and an off-grid cabin in Vermont. Special thanks to Lorals and Pour Moi for their support of this episode.

Vic Liu joins Tristan Taormino to kick off Masturbation May and talk about her new book Bang! Masturbation for All Genders and Abilities (published by Microcosm Press). They cover masturbation stigma, double standards, myths, including other people’s voices, and the creation of this book through design. Then Tristan’s friend Tonya stops for some real talk about jerking off and her honest review of the Satisfyer Curvy. This episode is brought to you by Satisfyer in honor of Masturbation May!

Leanne, the creator of Poly Philia joins Tristan Taormino to discuss her sex-positive personal blog and meme page dedicated to polyamory, ethical non-monogamy, and personal growth in open relationships. With some of Leanne’s memes reaching hundreds of thousands of people, they discuss the power of memes to validate, entertain, correct misconceptions, inspire discussion, and even change minds. Leanne talks about when she uses humor and pop culture and when she is more serious and political. She answers the question: are memes a tool of the revolution? Leanne is the audiobook narrator of four books on polyamory, and hopes to make more audiobooks on polyamory accessible to a wider audience. She has been practicing ethical non-monogamy for five years and is keen to educate and raise awareness about the relationship style online. Special thanks to Pour Moi and Dipsea.

The incomparable sexual health rock star Dr. Ina Park joins Tristan Taormino to talk about her new book Strange Bedfellows: Adventures in the Science, History, and Surprising Secrets of STDs (Flatiron Books)—a fascinating, readable page-turner! The history of sexually transmitted infections is full of fascinating characters, stories, and, of course, sex. In addition to the past, Dr. Park gives us on the low down on the current state of STDs/STIs in the U.S including: the significance of sexual networks, why providers don’t test for herpes as part of a basic STD panel, pap smears for your butt, Super Gonorrhea, U=U, and PrEP. You’d never know a show about sexually transmitted infections could be so compelling! Thanks to Dipsea and Calm for their support of this episode.

Arielle Greenberg joins Tristan Taormino to talk about her latest book, I Live in the Country & Other Dirty Poems (Four Way Books). Arielle gives listeners a taste of her dirty mind as she reads several poems from this wonderful collection. They talk about her move from a big city to a small town in the country, the opening of her marriage, and how that affected her life and relationships. They go over many of the themes of the book: animals and primal instincts, rough sex, queerness, polyamory, motherhood, and reconciling her desire for submission with her feminist beliefs. These poems can be heady, hedonistic, or both—from naughty schoolgirl outfits and on-your-knees BJs to takedowns of slut shaming and heteronormativity. Arielle is the author of five collections of poetry and the creative nonfiction book Locally Made Panties and co-author, with Rachel Zucker, of Home/Birth: A Poemic. She has also co-edited three literary anthologies and her poems and essays have been featured in Best American Poetry, Labor Day: True Birth Stories by Today’s Best Women Writers and The Racial Imaginary, among other anthologies. Thanks to Pour Moi and Calm for their support of this episode.

Dr. Heather Berg joins Tristan Taormino to talk about her groundbreaking book Porn Work: Sex, Labor, and Late Capitalism. Berg analyzes the work of porn performers, producers, and directors through the lens of Marxist feminist thought to truly dive into the complexities of the work of porn. She details how porn is similar to other gig economy jobs and also uniquely different. She covers some of the elements of her research and book including life on a porn set, manager/worker tensions, the role of authenticity, plus what she calls underwear dialectics—all while centering the voices and experiences of the dozens of porn workers she interviewed. Learn how performers have become their own producers and the many ways they hack the system to resist categorization and have more freedom. Dr. Heather Berg is assistant professor of women, gender, and sexuality studies at Washington University in St. Louis. She writes about sexuality, labor, and social struggle. Special thanks to Pour Moi and Calm for their support of this episode.

Beatrice Dixon, Founder and CEO of The Honey Pot Company joins Tristan Taormino to tell her story about how a case of bacterial vaginosis led her to found a multi-million company. She talks talk about entrepreneurship, disrupting the “feminine hygiene” industry, and making natural products for vulvas and vaginas. She shares what kind of sex education information and sexual attitudes she was exposed to growing up and how they inform her approach today. Dixon was 1 of the first 40 women of color to raise $1M in venture capital and talks about the importance of building Black economic wealth. She discusses how Target launched her brand and the backlash against her commercial for them. She is a straight talker who gives us all plenty of food for thought. Thanks to Pour Moi and Calm for their support of this episode.

Julia Rothman and Shaina Feinberg join host Tristan Taormino to talk about the book they co-created Every Body: An Honest and Open Look at Sex From Every Angle. In it, they collected hundreds of stories about sex both anonymously and credited which they share in this delightful book. It covers every conceivable topic from first times to hook ups to mental health and polyamory to BDSM and pegging. They talk about the process of collecting the stories, which included asking strangers on the street to share their sex stories. They discuss the challenges, joy, and takeaways from the process of talking to so many people about their sex lives. For Julia, she felt less alone after collecting all the interviews. Shaina said the book “changed her brain.” Find out why. Julia Rothman and Shaina Feinberg are constant collaborators. Their illustrated column, Scratch, runs every other Sunday in The New York Times. They have also collaborated on illustrated stories for The New Yorker, Topic and other publications. Julia is the author and/or illustrator of twelve books, including Nature Anatomy, Ladies Drawing Night, and Hello, New York. In 2017, she cofounded, with Wendy MacNoughton, Women Who Draw, an open directory of female-identifying illustrators, artists, and cartoonists. Shaina is a writer/director who has created content for the The New York Times, IFC, Audible, Refinery29, First Look Media, This American Life, and BRICTV. Both Shaina and Julia live in Brooklyn. Thanks to Calm and Pour Moi for their support of this episode.

Licensed acupuncturist and herbalist Christine DeLozier joins Tristan Taormino to talk about her book Diet for Great Sex: Food for Male and Female Sexual Health. Christine talks about how what we eat affects what she calls “the holy trinity of great sex”—hormonal balance, nerve integrity and vascular health. Her approach to sexual health and sexual issues exists outside of Western medicine. She covers what foods, vitamins, and herbs can help us improve our hormone balance, nerve impulses, blood vessels, and circulation. Plus, she reveals what she considers the most super superfood (it’s not what you think). Note: this book is body-positive and not about losing weight. Christine attended the University of Rochester, studying Biology and Psychology. As a young single mom, she worked as a waitress and studied full-time. Christine holds Master’s degrees in Acupuncture, Traditional Chinese Medicine, and Counseling. During her education, she studied Chinese dietary therapy, and earned a certification as a Holistic Nutritional Counselor. Special thanks to Calm  and Sakara for their support of this episode.

Veteran adult performer, director, writer, and producer Joanna Angel and host Tristan Taormino sit down for a frank, funny discussion that spans 15+ years of friendship. They talk about when they first met, Joanna’s early days stripping, relationships with non-performers and performers, and her life as a groundbreaking woman who’s been in the adult industry for 20 years. Then Joanna reads from her second book, Club 42: A Choose Your Own Erotic Fantasy from Cleis Press which tells the story of newbie stripper Naomi as she makes her way in a brand new world. Learn what the “blackmail dry hump” is! This was recorded in front of a live studio audience on Zoom in February, and plenty of audience members had questions for Joanna. Thanks to Calm and Dipsea for their support. Also thanks to Cleis Press and Fleshlight for sponsoring the prize giveaways.

New York Times “Modern Love” essayist and author Leslie Lehr joins Tristan Taormino to talk about her new book A Boob’s Life: How America’s Obsession with Breasts Shaped me…and You (Pegasus Books). The book has just been optioned for an HBO Max series by Salma Hayek! They discuss how breasts played a central role throughout Leslie’s life, from flat-chested adolescent to breastfeeding mom to divorcee with breast implants all the way to breast cancer survivor. Along the way, Leslie details her childhood, marriage, divorce, relationships, and her ongoing struggle with her boobs and body acceptance. Leslie Lehr is a prize-winning author, essayist, and the Novel Consultant for Truby’s Writers Studio. Special thanks to Calm and Sakara for their support of this episode.

Journalist Tracy Clark Flory joins Tristan Taormino to talk about her new memoir Want Me: A Sex Writer's Journey into the Heart of Desire. They discuss her early interest in sex and how her attitudes were influenced by her hippie parents, the media, and HBO’s Real Sex. As a young adult, she struggles with failing at being a woman, and she searches for “what men want” and her own desirability through porn, strip clubs, sex writing, and a lot of casual sex. She comes clean about being an orgasm faker during this time, and they unpack why. She shares when she began to challenge the paradoxical sexual norms of our society and center her own desire, pleasure, and power. They delve into how her mother’s death affected her sex life, her orgasmic breakthrough, and what she’s learned from visiting porn film sets. The book is deeply personal, yet brilliantly analyzes the social and political forces that shape the current sexual landscape. Special thanks to Calm and Sakara for their support of this episode. Tracy Clark-Flory is a senior staff writer at Jezebel. Her work has been published in Cosmopolitan, Elle, Esquire, Marie Claire, Salon, The Guardian, Women’s Health, and the yearly “Best Sex Writing” anthology. She has appeared on “20/20,” MSNBC and NPR. She is the author of the memoir Want Me: A Sex Writer's Journey into the Heart of Desire.

In part 2 of a 2 part series on the new book We Too: Essays on Sex Work and Survival, contributors join Tristan Taormino to read from their chapters in the book and discuss how sex workers have been left out of the #MeToo movement. Selena the Stripper, host of the podcast Heaux in the Kneaux, shares faer foreword where fae talks about first forays into SW and becoming a stripper and activist for stripper’s rights. Writer/activist Vanessa Carlisle tells the story about forming Hooker’s Army, a peer support and self defense collective for sex workers. Tina Horn, who served as assistant editor, reads from and discusses her deeply personal and fascinating piece on sex, power, cults, and BDSM. Special thanks to Calm and Sakara. Selena the Stripper is a sex worker, sex work labor advocate, blogger, podcaster, and artist. Fae is president of Strippers United, formerly known as Soldiers of Pole, which is a labor coalition of strippers, other sex workers and their legal team who are fighting for the right to a safe equitable workplace for strippers across the United States and beyond. Vanessa Carlisle holds a PhD in Writing and Gender Studies and has been a sex worker for twenty-two years. She writes and teaches on a variety of sexuality-related topics, from sex workers' rights to polyamory, creating healthy boundaries, kinky skills, and more. Tina Horn is the creator and writer of the sci-fi sex-rebel comic book series SfSx (Safe Sex). She also hosts and produces the long-running kink podcast Why Are People Into That?!. 

Editor Natalie West joins Tristan Taormino in part 1 of a 2 part series on her new book We Too: Essays on Sex Work and Survival. In the wake of the #MeToo resurgence, sex workers of all kinds were hesitant to tell their stories of harassment, coercion, and assault. If sex workers (SWers) tell stories of being victimized, it confirms what people already think they know: sex work is degrading and dangerous. If they don’t speak, they can’t get community support, resources, a chance to speak their truth, and, in rare cases, justice. Natalie talks about sex work labor, victimhood, the problematic movement to “save” SWers, the role of law enforcement, and the conflation of sex work and trafficking. There is deep resilience and hope in this book which shows how organizing is a tool of empowerment and healing.   Natalie West is a Los Angeles based writer and educator. She worked as a professional Dominatrix while obtaining her PhD in Gender Studies. She moonlights as a sex work and BDSM authenticity consultant for film and TV productions and is currently at work on a memoir. Special thanks to Like A Kitten and Sakara for their support of the show.

Dr. Elisabeth “Eli” Sheff joins Tristan Taormino to talk about her latest book Children in Polyamorous Families, which is based on her groundbreaking 20+ year Polyamorous Family Study, which is the only longitudinal study of polyamorous families with children to date. She talks about the advantages for children raised with polyamorous parents as well as the unique challenges they face. Plus: how does growing up in a polyamorous household affect their attitudes about communication, relationships, and love? Eli works with the team that developed the Bonding Project, an app that can help people figure out what kind of relationship style works best for them: one-to-one, one-to-many, many-to-many, or solo. Tristan takes the test and Eli tells her about her results. Special thanks to Calm and Like A Kitten for their support of this episode. Dr. Sheff is a researcher, expert witness, coach, speaker, and educational consultant. With a PhD in Sociology and certification as a Sexuality Educator from the AASECT, Dr. Sheff specializes in gender and sexual minority families, consensual non-monogamy, and kink/BDSM. Sheff is the foremost academic expert on polyamorous families with children, and her 20+ year Polyamorous Family Study is the only longitudinal study of poly families with children to date. Sheff co-chairs the Consensual NonMonogamies Legal Issues Team for the American Psychological Association, Division 44. 

Director/co-producer Jeff M. Giordano and interview subjects Imani Johann and Jade Theriault join Tristan Taormino to talk about the groundbreaking full length animated documentary Romantic Chorus. The film is focused on sex and romantic connections featuring 21 diverse interviews with people from a wide range of genders, cultural backgrounds, abilities, and sexual orientations as they discuss sex, monogamy, fear and technology. Jeff talks about the process of making the film and what surprised him along the way. The group has a lively discussion about desire, dating, intimacy, polyamory, cyborgs, and even dick pics and The Bachelorette! Special thanks to Sakara and Dipsea for their support of this show. Jeff M. Giordano has been directing documentaries since 2004. In 2020, he won an award for Disability Justice for the 70 minute documentary The God Given Talent: the Creative Life of Charles Curtis Blackwell. Imani Johann is a 31-year-old queer black Philadelphia native who owns Decadent d'Vices with a mission to provide pleasure to all bodies as all bodies deserved to feel good. Jade Theriault is a cyborg who combines provocative thought with moving furniture. Jade has performed at many showcases and festivals, and has a new short film coming out called Masked & Abused. 

Tristan Taormino welcomes relationship, leadership and business coach Shana James to explore men, masculinity, and vulnerability. They talk about the rigid gender roles men are expected to embody, the effects of toxic masculinity, and the challenges many men face in sex and relationships. They cover the problematic nature of some men’s coaches and “men’s work.” She shares some of the most common issues her clients come to her with including confusion, fear, and desire and the importance of men’s vulnerability in order to have satisfying relationships. They dig into changing gender roles, power dynamics, and women’s emotional labor in relationships. For 15 years, Shana James coached more than a thousand leaders, CEOs, authors, speakers and people with big visions to find love, rekindle spark, step into more powerful leadership, start and grow businesses, increase their impact, create a legacy, and become more personally inspired and fulfilled. She cuts through distraction and provides direct access to confidence, power and clarity. She has an M.A. in psychology, DISC certification, and coaching training, more than a decade facilitating groups and workshops, and has started multiple businesses and helped hundreds of entrepreneurs start their own. Thanks to Calm and Sakara for their support of the show!

Sex and relationship coach Stacie Ysidro joins Tristan Taormino to talk about sex and sobriety. We discuss the challenges people experience with sex and relationships when they get sober, including anxiety, depression, fear, and disconnection. She uses many different modalities to help navigate these often new and complex waters, including sexology education, breathwork, movement, sounding, zen philosophy, somatic coaching, and Tantra. She explains what “spiritual death” and how her approach is rooted deeply in embodiment and spirituality. We also wrestle around with the problems with the concept of sex addiction. Special thanks to Sakara and Dipsea for their support of this show. Stacie Ysidro, founder of Holistic Progressions, has been coaching individuals and couples throughout the United States over 10 years. Her passion is helping people experience erotic freedom, full self acceptance and expression with grace and ease. She most enjoys seeing the transformations in people's sex lives extrapolate into all areas of their lives, creating more pleasure, fulfillment, passion and peace. 

Kaytlin Bailey joins Tristan Taormino to talk about the history of sex work in the U.S—a piece of history that has been undocumented and ignored. She shares stories from her YouTube video “U.S. History from a Whore's Eye View” including the life of black trans sex worker Mary Jones in the 1800s and the connection between World War I, the military, STDs, and policing sex worker bodies. As in her podcast, she profiles a diverse array of people, and we dig into the lives and careers of Valerie Solanas and Cardi B. Kaytlin makes the connection between past and present sex worker experiences, criminalization, and their relationship to societal norms about women. She makes a compelling argument for why we should all care about whorephobia and sex workers. Kaytlin Bailey is a natural born contrarian and professional provocateur. Stand up comic, writer, sex worker advocate and host of the The Oldest Profession Podcast, she has dedicated her life to telling better sex worker stories. Special thanks for support from Sakara and Calm.

Journalist, activist and author Kelly Cogswell joins Tristan Taormino to talk about the history of Lesbian Avengers, queer activism and lots more. She talks about the inception, rabble rousing, direct actions, and ultimate end of the Lesbian Avengers. We discuss how the group internally grappled with race, class, culture as well as different goals; she shares her insight into social justice activism, what remains similar and what has changed. She shares her thoughts on the state of democracy and why we need free speech and fair media more than ever. She has an interesting take on the precarity of Roe v. Wade and the confirmation of ultra-conservative Amy Coney Barrett to the U.S. Supreme Court. Why is the word lesbian important and what happens to lesbian visibility in a time of no labels and the proliferation of many more sexual orientations? Prize-winning journalist and author Kelly Cogswell was awarded the Joan Heller-Diane Bernard Fellowship for her project documenting the Lesbian Avengers. Her book, Eating Fire: My Life as a Lesbian Avenger was a finalist for a Lambda Literary Award, a Publishing Triangle Award, and was also featured on The 2015 Over the Rainbow Project book list. Her most recent project is a new memoir, A Word of Our Own, which explores the word, lesbian, in stories about her body and life. She is locked down at the moment in Paris. Special thanks to Calm and Dipsea.

Sex and intimacy coach and educator Dr. Alison Ash joins Tristan Taormino to talk about desire, intimacy, embodiment and caring for our nervous systems. We discuss the power of both desire and sexual shame and how to confront both. She covers some basics about how our nervous systems work, defines embodiment, and offers strategies for nervous system care. We talk about how to respond to stresses, triggers, and emotional dysregulation in ourselves and our partners. She explores why embodiment and nervous system care are important for creating and sustaining healthy intimacy and relationships. Dr. Alison Ash is a trauma-informed sex and intimacy coach and educator, lecturer at Stanford University, author, and founder of TurnON.love. A champion for others overcoming shame and deepening pleasure, Dr. Ash helps her clients experience the kinds of sexual interactions and romantic relationships they long for.     As a sociologist with a PhD from Stanford, Dr. Ash has a comprehensive understanding of the complex societal challenges that often lead to unsatisfying and disempowering sexual experiences. She also draws on her extensive training in the Hakomi method of psychotherapy as well as Somatica model of sex and intimacy coaching to support her clients to radically explore and courageously express themselves. This episode is possible because of the generosity of Calm and Dipsea.

The hosts of the Multiamory podcast Emily Matlack, Jase Lindgren, and Dedeker Winston join Tristan Taormino to talk about solo polyamory, relationship anarchy and sex positivity. We talk about what solo polyamory means, why people chose it, how they practice it, and what it looks like during a pandemic. We get into the basics of relationship anarchy as a philosophy and style and what it’s like in the real world. We have a discussion about sex-positivity, sex negativity, and how COVID-19 has affected attitudes about sex and dating. Plus, we address the current controversy over swingers going back to holding in-person events. Because this foursome has extensive experience with nonmonogamy, this is an in depth conversation where everyone shares some really personal stuff. This episode is possible because of the generosity of Calm (calm.com/tristan) and Dipsea dipdeastories.com/tristan.   Emily Matlack is a relationship mediator, specializing in jealousy management, an actor, and a proud vegan. She is the funny bone of the Multiamory trio. Oh, she'll also kick your ass at Mario Kart. In addition to laughing and crying about polyamory on air each week, you can spot her singing and dancing in a play, trying to look sexy while striking a yoga pose in a photo shoot, or serving every vegan who ever lived at the plant-based restaurants at which she works.   Dedeker Winston is a relationship coach, writer, and advocate for polyamory and non-traditional relationships. She has been consulted as a polyamory expert for Newsweek, Cosmopolitan, Glamour, and many other news and media outlets. She is the author of The Smart Girl's Guide to Polyamory: Everything You Need to Know about Open Relationships, Non-Monogamy, and Alternative Love, published by Skyhorse Press.   Jase Lindgren is a non-monogamous dating coach, healthy masculinity educator, and sex-positivity advocate. He has trained in positive psychology, Emotional Freedom Technique, consent education, and Buddhist mindfulness practice. He has worked with the government and celebrities on HIV public awareness in Russia, is a long-time fan of podcasts, and is excited to share this new and unique content with the world. By teaching people how to suck less at communication and define each relationship on its own terms, Jase is sought out as an authority on modern dating.

Tristan Taormino gives you her 2020 Holiday Gift Guide that highlights independent, POC owned, queer owned, woman owned, and sex worker owned small businesses. She’s got something for everyone, including sex toys from Satisfyer (Satisfyer.com) and FemmeFunn, a box of sexy goodies by Like A Kitten, biodegradable glitter, cocktail mixers, leatherwork from New Orleans you can find at Dynamo Toys, botanical oils, candles, sexy clothes, and revolutionary art. Plus, therapist Kate Loree joins us to talk about tools and strategies and self care for surviving this holiday season. Kate Loree, LMFT is a sex positive licensed marriage and family therapist with a specialty in non-monogamous, kink, LGBTQ and sex worker communities. In addition to her Masters in Marriage and Family Therapy, she is also a registered art therapist (ATR) and has a second Masters in Business Administration (MBA). She has been practicing psychotherapy for seventeen years and has additional training in EMDR and the Trauma Resiliency Model (TRM) for the treatment of trauma, such as sexual, physical, and emotional abuse. She has written her first book due to be published at the end of 2021. Special thanks to Calm for their support.

Comedian, actress, writer/director Melanie Vesey digs deep in her soul and covers a lot of ground in this interview with Tristan Taormino. Her experience with intimate partner violence just as her acting career was taking off was heartbreaking, and she talks about how she recovered from the trauma (and turned it into comedy 20 years later). We talk about what it’s like to co-parent her son with his dad, and her description of talking openly about sex with him is inspiring and hilarious. We also talk about Promotional Rescue, her promotion coaching business for artists and small business owners. Plus, we listen to an excerpt from her stand up special Wild Animal (video on Amazon and RevrtTV, audio on all major streaming platforms). Special thanks to Sakara and Intensity by Pour Moi. Melanie Vesey is an accomplished comedian, actress, writer/director, and owner of Promotional Rescue. Her comedy special/album Wild Animal is available to watch on Amazon, Revry TV and to listen to all major streaming platforms. She hosts the Promotional Rescue Talk Show where she has real conversations with people about how they deal with self-promotion. Throughout Melanie's career, she's been seen in the New York Times, The New Yorker, Paper Magazine, Playboy, Time Out, and Vanity Fair. In addition to her TV comedy spot on Laugh After Dark for Amazon, she’s opened for Marc Maron, Tweeted for Tig Notaro, WON round 4 of the U.S. Comedy Contest, and been comedian of the week on the Jackie Kashian & Laurie Kilmartin podcast. Notably, she co-starred with Jim Carrey in the Andy Kaufman bio-pic "Man on the Moon" and has been seen at the Burbank, Motor City, Palm Springs, and the Ladies Laugh Comedy Festivals. Melanie also co-produces The Antidepressant Comedy Hour for Comedy Hub on Twitch and Make It Rain Comedy. Trained at the Juilliard School at Lincoln Center, Stella Adler Conservatory in New York City, and The Interlochen Arts Academy, she has a strong foundation for her body of work.

Ashley Manta, Kiana Reeves, and John Renko join Tristan Taormino to talk about cannabis, sexual health, and pleasure. We talk about how cannabis products, including arousal oil, lubricants, and suppositories can treat sexual pain, inflammation, and trouble with arousal. We go over the difference between a CBD product and one with CBD and THC and how to be an informed consumer in a market that has been flooded with unregulated CBD products. As medical professionals often invalidate, pathologize, or simply have no solutions for pelvic pain, vaginismus, and vulvodynia, cannabis is a natural, plant-based medicine that offers real relief. Special thanks for the support of Dipsea, Care/Of, and Calm. Ashley Manta is an award-winning sex educator and coach and has become a sought-after authority on mindfully combining sex and cannabis as part of her CannaSexual® brand. She is the author of The CBD Solution: Sex, published in conjunction with Merry Jane and Chronicle Books. She also writes for Playboy as a Playboy Advisor. Ashley appeared on the cover of Sexual Health Magazine in January 2019, along with the designation, “America's High Priestess of Pleasure.” She completed her certification as a Bodysex Facilitator after studying with legendary pleasure pioneer Betty Dodson. She is a brand ambassador for Sybian and Foria.  With a lifelong passion for sexual wellness and plant-based medicine, Kiana Reeves has been practicing in the field of sexual wellness, birth work, and holistic health for over 10 years. She is a pelvic health practitioner, full-spectrum doula, somatic sex educator, Chief Education Officer at Foria, and mama of two wild sons. John Renko’s passion is figuring out how things work. He employed his engineering skills to grow California-legal high-grade medical and recreational marijuana, creating an ultra-clean product to the highest purity standards. John developed GoLove CBD Naturals with sex educator Dr. Sadie Allison. GoLove is a body-safe, fully tested, CBD-based intimate lubricant designed to help alleviate vaginal pain, inflammation and anxiety.

Tristan Taormino welcomes Intactivist Georganne Chapin from Intact America to educate listeners on the anatomy and sexual importance of the foreskin of the penis. No professional medical association in the United States or the rest of the world recommends routine circumcision, yet it’s incredibly prevalent in America. We discuss the debate surrounding routine circumcision in male infants. What are some of the arguments about why circumcision is necessary, and how many of them stand up to fact-checking and science? Does opposing circumcision devalue cultural and religious practices? We talk about what role the foreskin plays in solo and partnered sex and how leaving the penis intact affects people’s sex lives. There has been a global outcry about female genital mutilation (FGM), but not about penile circumcision, a similar procedure—why is that? How does the Intactivist Movement to end child genital cutting intersect with efforts to end FGM and activism to stop doctors from medically intervening when someone is identified as intersex at birth? How does the everyday person bring up the subject with a loved one, a spouse, a sibling, or a close friend? This episode is made possible by Calm and Intensity by Pour Moi. Georganne Chapin has dedicated her life to promoting human rights and fighting injustice. Georganne is a leader in the growing national movement to end routine circumcision of baby boys. Twelve years ago, she co-founded and became executive director of Intact America, the largest national organization working to end child genital cutting in this country and to ensure healthy sexual futures for all people. Prior to that, she founded the Hudson Center for Health Equity and Quality (which she also currently heads) and is the former president and CEO of Hudson Health Plan, a large nonprofit Medicaid managed care organization in the Hudson Valley. She has her MPhil in Sociomedical Sciences from Columbia University and her JD from Pace University School of Law.

Lydia X. Z. Brown, Leah Lakshmi Piepzna-Samarasinha, and Katie Tastrom join Tristan Taormino to talk about disability justice, sex, and relationships. We explore the question: what does it mean to apply a Disability Justice lens to sexuality and sex-positive culture? What are the effects when Black and Brown disabled people are hypersexualized, desexualized or degendered? On an interpersonal level, desexualization assumes disabled folks don’t have agency or skill when it comes to their sexuality and can put pressure on them to perform a kind of hypersexuality. We discuss desirability and undesirability, strength-based approaches to disability and sexuality, disabled sex workers, and the overwhelming amount of sexual violence disabled people face. We also delve into ableism, politics, and representation in the legal case of Marjorie Anna Stubblefield who had a sexual relationship with D.J., a non-verbal man with cerebral palsy. This episode is sponsored by Calm and Dipsea. Lydia X. Z. Brown is a disability justice advocate, organizer, educator, attorney, strategist, and writer whose work has largely focused on interpersonal and state violence against multiply-marginalized disabled people living at the intersections of race, class, gender, sexuality, nation, and language. They are Policy Counsel for the Privacy and Data Project at the Center for Democracy and Technology; Adjunct Lecturer in Disability Studies for Georgetown University; and Director of Policy, Advocacy, and External Affairs at the Autistic Women & Nonbinary Network. They are also founder and volunteer director of the Fund for Community Reparations for Autistic People of Color's Interdependence, Survival, and Empowerment. Currently, they serve as a founding board member of the Alliance for Citizen Directed Supports, presidential appointee to the American Bar Association's Commission on Disability Rights, and chair of the American Bar Association's Section on Civil Rights & Social Justice, Disability Rights Committee. In 2015, Lydia was named to Pacific Standard's 30 Top Thinkers Under 30 list, and to Mic’s list of 50 impactful leaders, cultural influencers, and breakthrough innovators. In 2018, NBC featured them as one of 26 Asian Pacific American breakthrough leaders for Asian Pacific American Heritage Month, and Amplifier featured them as part of the We The Future campaign for youth activism. Leah Lakshmi Piepzna-Samarasinha is just another middle aged mixed-race rust belt autistic aging queerpunk, and a queer disabled and autistic nonbinary femme writer, performer, educator freedom dreamer, and disability and transformative justice movement worker of Burgher/Tamil Sri Lankan, Irish and Roma ascent. She is the 2020 winner of the Lambda Literary Foundation's Jean Cordova Prize for Lesbian/Queer Nonfiction, and is the author and co-editor of nine books, including Beyond Survival: Strategies and Stories from the Transformative Justice Movement (co-edited with Ejeris Dixon), Tonguebreaker, Care Work: Dreaming Disability Justice,Bridge of Flowers, Bodymap, Dirty River, The Revolution Starts At Home: Confronting Intimate Violence in Activist Communities (coedited with Ching-In Chen and Jai Dulani), Love Cake and Consensual Genocide. Their work has won the Lambda and been shortlisted four times for the Publishing Triangle Award.  A lead artist for the disability justice performance collective, Sins Invalid, since 2009, Leah also co-created the collectives Performance/Disability/Art, Mangos With Chili, and Toronto’s Asian Arts Freedom School and is currently on the programming team for the Disability and Intersectionality Summit. They believe in the power of storytelling and witnessing, being an everyday-ass human being, the power of disability justice to create an abolitionist present and future, crip and Crazy person brilliance, and the unpredictable future. Raised in Worcester, MA, they currently live in South Seattle, unceded Duwamish territories.    Katie Tastrom is a writer and sex worker based in Upstate NY who focuses on disability justice, sexuality, and abolition. Her most recent article was in HuffPost.  

Therapist Jessica Fern joins Tristan Taormino to talk about her new book Polysecure: Attachment, Trauma, and Consensual Nonmonogamy. We talk about the basics of attachment theory and how to challenge the inherent mononormativity in it in order to apply it to nonmonogamy, especially polyamory. There is an in-depth discussion of childhood and ongoing trauma and how it relates to our relationships as well as the effects of larger societal systems on our sense of identity, safety, and security. We explore the co-regulation of our nervous systems, the difference between secure connection and a securely attached relationship, tools to help people and their partners learn about their attachment styles and become polysecure. Polysecure is the first book of its kind to look at nonmonogamy through the lens of attachment theory expansively without pathologizing it. Special thanks to Dipsea and Intensity Pour Moi for making this show possible. Jessica Fern is a psychotherapist, public speaker and trauma and relationship expert.  In her international private practice, Jessica works with individuals, couples and people in multiple-partner relationships who no longer want to be limited by their reactive patterns, cultural conditioning, insecure attachment styles and past traumas, helping them to embody new possibilities in life and love. Learn more at JessicaFern.com.

This show is all about sexual fantasies! Tristan Taormino talks to Dr. Justin Lehmiller about his book Tell Me What You Want: The Science of Sexual Desire and How It Can Help You Improve Your Sex Life and his research which includes the largest study of Americans’ sexual fantasies. We review the seven broad categories he divides them into: multi-partner sex; power, control, and rough sex; novelty, adventure, and variety; taboo and forbidden sex; partner sharing and nonmonogamous relationships; passion and romance; and erotic flexibility. Plus, we discuss other findings about gender, sexual orientation, body image, and what percentage of people want to make their top fantasy come to life (hint: it’s surprising!). How do we shape our fantasies and our fantasies shape us and why do fantasies matter? Dr. Justin Lehmiller is a social psychologist and Research Fellow at The Kinsey Institute. He is author of the blog Sex and Psychology and the popular book Tell Me What You Want: The Science of Sexual Desire and How It Can Help You Improve Your Sex Life. Dr. Lehmiller is an award-winning educator, having been honored three times with the Certificate of Teaching Excellence from Harvard University, where he taught for several years. He is also a prolific researcher who has published more than 50 academic works, including a textbook titled The Psychology of Human Sexuality that is used in college classrooms around the world. Dr. Lehmiller is a much sought-after voice in the media on sexuality research and education. He has been interviewed by The Wall Street Journal, The New York Times, and CNN, and he has appeared on dozens of international radio, podcast, and television programs. This show is possible because of the generosity of Calm and Trivia Star by Super Lucky.

Historian Jen Manion joins Tristan Taormino to discuss her new book Female Husbands: A Trans History. How did some people assigned female at birth began living their lives as men in the 18th and 19th Centuries? Manion did extensive research on primary source materials including marriage certificates, census records, court documents, local and national and newspapers. In their book, Manion introduces us to the lives of U.K. female husbands Charles Hamilton, Henry Fielding, James Howe, James Gray, Samuel Bunday, William Chandler, Robert Shurtliff, James Allen, and Henry Stoake. We learn about George Wilson, John Smith, Albert Guelph, Joseph Lobdell, Frank Dubois, Samuel Pollard, Leroy Williams, and John A. Whittman in the United States. What did class and wealth have to do with the ability to trans gender? What do we know about the women who married female husbands? What happened when female husbands were discovered to be assigned female at birth? What role did the institution of marriage, medicine, the legal system, and the media play in shaping their lives and the narratives about them? How did their communities make sense of them trans-ing gender? How did attitudes during this time take root and influence ideas about sex, gender, and sexual orientation that persisted? How does this book fit into the study of LGBTQIA+ histories? Jen Manion is Associate Professor of History at Amherst College. She is a social and cultural historian whose work examines the role of gender and sexuality in American life. Manion is author of Liberty’s Prisoners: Carceral Culture in Early America which received the inaugural Mary Kelley Best Book Prize from the Society for Historians of the Early American Republic. Their most recent book, Female Husbands: A Trans History was supported by a grant from the National Endowment for the Humanities. Manion has published dozens of essays for popular and scholarly audiences and serves on the editorial boards of Amherst College Press, Early American Studies, and The William and Mary Quarterly. She is currently chair of the OAH Committee on the Status of LGBTQ Historians & Histories.

Author Farzana Doctor sits down with Tristan Taormino to discuss her latest novel Seven which revolves around the practice of khatna, a ritual female genital cutting in Dawoodi Bohra communities. According to the World Health Organization, more than 200 million girls and women alive today have been cut in 30 countries in Africa, the Middle East and Asia where female genital mutilation (also called female genital mutilation or female circumcision) is concentrated. They discuss what it means when religion attempts to control women’s bodies and sexuality, and the devastating effects of silence, secrecy, and trauma. Her novel explores themes of family, loyalty, generational trauma, and the shame that persists for women to talk openly about their own sexuality. Throughout this riveting story, she offers models for resistance, activism, hope, and healing. Farzana Doctor is a writer, activist and psychotherapist. She is the author of four novels: Stealing Nasreen, Six Metres of Pavement (which won a 2012 Lambda Literary Award), All Inclusive (a Kobo 2015 and National Post Best Book of the Year) and Seven which Ms. Magazine says “is fully feminist and ambitiously bold; this is an important book for our changing times.” Farzana volunteers with WeSpeakOut, a group that is working to ban female genital cutting in her Dawoodi Bohra community. This episode is sponsored by Intensity by Pour Moi and Trivia Star.

In the age of #MeToo, there has been a reckoning in Hollywood about sexual harassment and that extends to the way folks are treated during productions. Intimacy coordinator and founder of Intimacy Professionals Association Amanda Blumenthal joins Tristan Taormino to talk about this growing profession in Hollywood and beyond. She tells us what intimacy coordinators do, challenges they face on set, and what their training is like. She explores power dynamics on a production, how actors sometimes don’t feel like they can’t voice their sexual boundaries to a director, and why being an advocate for them is so important. Plus, she spills the tea on modesty garments (what are they?), sexual negotiation tips, and what happens when some directors don’t want her on their set. Amanda Blumenthal is the founder of Intimacy Professionals Association which is one of the leading organizations in the world for training intimacy coordinators. Amanda was the first intimacy coordinator in Los Angeles, and has worked on hundreds of scenes involving intimacy. Amanda is a sought-after speaker on the topic of intimacy coordination and has spoken at the American Film Market, Women in Film, Film Independent, the USC Peter Stark Producing Program, and the Women’s Production Society, to name a few. Additionally, she was a primary contributor to the SAG-AFTRA Standards and Protocols for the Use of Intimacy Coordinators, and continues to work closely with the union on their intimacy coordinator initiative. She has also consulted with the Producer’s Guild of America (PGA) on developing materials for their Independent Production Safety Initiative (IPSI) program, and was a contributor to the Time’s Up Guide to Working in Entertainment. This show is sponsored by Calm.com and Intensity by PourMoi.com.   Insta

Many of us have experienced stress and tension in relation to the unrelenting racist violence and oppression. There has been an explosion in public dialogue around white supremacy, whiteness, and racism and some are beginning to view this as “cultural trauma.” Dr. Robyn Henderson-Espinoza and Erin C. Law do a Sex Out Loud Takeover this episode, where host Tristan Taormino hands over the mic for them to have an important conversation. Robyn and Erin offer a different inroad to approach anti-racist work looking at whiteness and racism through a lens of somatic methodology, and drawing on the work of Tada Hozumi, Dare Sohei, (and their joint work through the Ritual as Justice School), My Grandmother’s Hands by Resmaa Menakem, Ibram X. Kendi, Robin D’Angelo, Kenneth Jones and Tema Okun, Politicized Somatic Experiencing, Generative Somatics, and others. What does it mean to be trauma bonded? How does our disconnection from our bodies affect how we respond to hard conversations, to criticism, to trauma? “If we are always activated, we can’t access anything beyond our lizard brain. Nothing can take root and change when our nervous system is freaking out,” says Erin. How do we get more connected to our bodies and each other to do the work of composting supremacy culture together? Robyn says, “When we get into our bodies, we can affect the larger body of culture, and that can change democracy.” Erin is offering a 6 week online emergent interactive process, “Unraveling Our Whiteness” for white and white-passing folks. They say: “We are going to dive into this really charged topic. We will feel our feelings, get into our bodies, witness each other, discover how our bodies communicate with us, and what we need to heal.” It starts October 5 at 3 pm PT/6 pm ET. Find out more at erinlawembodiment.com/events. This show is sponsored by Pour Moi by Intensity. Erin Law is a somatic movement educator, politicized healer, and multidisciplinary artist based in the southern US. Erin consciously engages in antiracist, feminist, queer, disability, and embodied intersectional analysis, advocacy, and activism to contribute to the transformation of systemic oppression/supremacy culture, toward the construction of a more resilient and whole humanity. Erin is indebted to her family, and all of her teachers, students, and colleagues who have challenged and inspired her. Dr. Robyn Henderson-Espinoza is a Transqueer Activist, Latinx Scholar, and Public Theologian. Dr. Robyn travels the country doing activist theology and continues to write for both the academy and the public square. Whether speaking to faith communities, universities, or communities, writing for HuffPost or Religion Dispatches, Dr. Robyn uses tools learned in both academy and activism to stand in the hybrid space of faith communities, academy, and movements for justice curating activist scholarship with deep intention of bridging with difference. This work is important to Dr. Robyn because their own life has been lived with the ongoing challenge to be grounded in the center of their own difference as a non binary Trans mixed-raced Latinx. This has required the thoughtful intention of bridging with their white ancestors and Mexican ancestors and with those in the queer community. As a result, their life’s vocation is one that is committed to the deep relationality of bridging with difference. They are the author of Activist Theology.

Award winning porn performers and content creators Sinnamon Love and Jet Setting Jasmine join Tristan Taormino to discuss the realities and disparities for performers of color in the adult industry. Inequities persist in wages, visibility, power, and opportunities and companies continue to produce content with racial fetishization, stereotypes, and offensive language and marketing. We talk about how to address the inequality and oppression performers of color face, how marginalized folks are creating their own content, and how average consumers can support sex workers of color. We also dive into the history, issues, and debate about the “ethnic” and “interracial” categories in porn. Sinnamon and Jasmine share the goals, services, and demands of BIPOC-AIC (Black, Indigenous, and/or People of Color Adult Industry Collective) and their End Racism and Wage Discrimination in Porn Petition. Sinnamon Love is a 26-year veteran Black feminist sex worker dedicated to decolonizing porn and creating safe, gender-affirming spaces for BIPOC and LGBTQIA+ folks in the sex industry. Sinnamon is the Director of Diversity, Equity, and Inclusion at Peep.me, and the founder of the BIPOC Adult Industry Collective. She is a writer, grandmother, and happily #SingleinBrooklyn.  Jasmine is a licensed clinical therapist with a strong emphasis on Intimacy Post Injury and Intimacy Post Illness. Together with her partner King Noire, she owns Royal Fetish Films and Jet Setting Jasmine combining their love of the arts, film, and sex education to produce erotica that stimulates and engages the audience to push their sexual boundaries. King and Jasmine share over 20 years of experience as Adult Entertainers, Educators and Master Fetish Trainers. The duo are award-winning adult film stars and have dedicated their craft to creating a more inclusive and ethically sound adult entertainment industry. This show is sponsored by Intensity by Pour Moi.

It’s Bisexual Awareness Month and Tristan Taormino is celebrating by welcoming columnist Zachary Zane to the show! Zach shares his experience coming out bisexual, when he got pushback from his gay and straight friends. He explores the stereotypes, misunderstanding, and stigma many bisexual men face when dating and hooking up. He explains how he approaches men and women very differently on dating apps. They talk about his favorite question in his "Sexplain It" column about relationships and sexual identities and Zach’s dating tips for the pandemic. Plus, Tristan shares why she loves bi guys. Zachary Zane is a Brooklyn-based columnist, sex expert, and activist whose work focuses on sexuality, lifestyle, culture, and the LGBTQ community. He currently has a sex advice column at Men's Health titled “Sexplain It” and a relationship column at Queer Majority titled “Zach and the City.” His work has been published in Rolling Stone, The Washington Post, GQ, Playboy, Slate, Cosmo, and many others.

Joining Tristan Taormino in this episode are professors Jennifer S. Hirsch and Shamus Khan, the authors of Sexual Citizens: A Landmark Study of Sex, Power, and Assault on Campus based on their brilliant research about sexual assault on college campuses. Current discourses focus on toxic masculinity, consent education, bystander intervention, and adjudication, which they recognize are important factors. Hirsch and Khan take a new approach with their concepts of sexual projects, sexual citizenship, and sexual geographies and how they create and support the conditions for sexual assault. They share some compelling stories of students navigating their sexuality in a brand new environment, but they don’t just focus on individual players and experiences, but the systems that fail many of us. We talk about the role of sex education (or lack thereof), power dynamics, inequalities, social status, and peer pressure. Plus, they offer nuanced interventions and solutions for change. Jennifer Hirsch is professor of socio-medical sciences at the Mailman School of Public Health at Columbia University. Her research spans five intertwined domains: the anthropology of love; gender, sexuality and migration; sexual, reproductive and HIV risk practices; social scientific research on sexual assault and undergraduate well-being, and the intersections between anthropology and public health. She’s been named one of New York City’s 16 ‘Heroes in the Fight Against Gender-Based Violence.’ In 2012 she was selected as a Guggenheim Fellow. Shamus Khan is professor and chair of sociology at Columbia University. He is the author of dozens of books and articles on inequality, American Culture, gender, and elites. His work has appeared in the New Yorker, The New York Times, The Washington Post, CNN, and many other media outlets. In 2018 he was awarded the Hans L. Zetterberg Prize for “the best sociologist under 40.”

Comedian and actor Baron Vaughn joins Tristan to talk about a wide range of topics: his self-described sexual hang-ups, what his sex life is like during the pandemic, his experiences with polyamory and conscious monogamy (“I’m a polyamorous person in a monogamous marriage”), trauma and its effect on relationships, his ‘racial baggage’ about seeking mental health support, how depression and anxiety can fuel comedy, the state of media representations of Black folx, and his new podcast Self Quar. Actor and comedian Baron Vaughn plays Bud Bergstein on Netflix’s Grace & Frankie; he is the voice of Tom Servo in the new Mystery Science Theater 3000: The Return  and he is the host of SYFY WIRE’s: The Great Debate. You may have also seen him in Blackish, Girls, Superstore, Arrested Development, Cloverfield and Black Dynamite. As a comedian, Vaughn has toured all over the country performing at festivals, clubs and theaters. He has been featured on The Tonight Show Starring Jimmy Fallon and twice on Conan. He has had a half-hour special on Comedy Central, and co-hosted the Comedy Central stand-up series, The New Negroes, with musician Open Mike Eagle. His two comedy albums, Raised by Cable and Blaxistential Crisis are available on AST Records and iTunes. He is also the host of several podcasts: the philosophy podcast Deep S##! with Baron Vaughn and a new one called Self Quar.

Sex educator and coach Kai Werder joins Tristan to talk about one of the crucial issues facing lots of people during COVID-19: skin hunger. We discuss how a lack of sexual and non-sexual touch on top of a pandemic affects our physical and mental health. Kai offers a thoughtful, nuanced perspective on dealing with touch deprivation and practical communication tools in the digital age. Then they talk about their theories of mismatched libidos and the Desire Discrepancy workbook they created to help folks struggling with one of the most common issues in relationships. Kai is a certified sex educator, coach, writer, and healing practitioner living on the occupied Chitimacha Tribal territory of New Orleans, LA. They believe in moving alongside clients and students as a guide towards healing through pleasure. Their work centers consent-based education that is shame-free, LGBTQ prioritized, and trauma-informed. You can find her published writing on sites like Allure, Teen Vogue, MTV, Kinkly, and GO Magazine. They are currently a candidate for Masters in Social Work at Tulane University and hope to use their degree to break down barriers of mental health services for queer and trans survivors.

Tristan Taormino welcomes veteran anti-racist activist Jordan Flaherty to discuss his book No More Heroes: Grassroots Responses to the Savior Mentality. No More Heroes traces "savior mentality” in pop culture, politics, non-profits, and major events including Batman, Teach for America, the flood of young white activists to New Orleans after Hurricane Katrina, and Project ROSE. We talk about how white saviors often begin with good intentions and where it goes wrong as well as how different grassroots responses can both help people on the ground and challenge the oppressive systems that undergird racism, poverty, and inequity. Quote: “I don’t believe you can get rich while doing good. Wealth and justice are mutually exclusive.” Plus, we talk about his newest short film on the community of resistance behind New Orleans’ historic protests including members of Southern Solidarity. Jordan Flaherty is an award-winning journalist, producer, and author. He has appeared as a guest on a wide range of television and radio shows. He is the author of the books No More Heroes: Grassroots Responses to the Savior Mentality and Floodlines: Community and Resistance From Katrina to the Jena Six and has produced television documentaries and news reports for Democracy Now, teleSUR, The Laura Flanders Show, and Al Jazeera, including as a producer on the Emmy, Peabody, and duPont award-winning program Fault Lines on Al Jazeera. Jordan’s print journalism has been featured in dozens of major publications around the world. Jordan has produced award-winning fiction films, documentaries, music videos, and news reports, and his reporting and analysis has been published in several anthologies, including Live From Palestine, What Lies Beneath: Katrina, Race and the State of the Nation; What is a City; Red State Rebels; Bury The Dead. He has appeared as an actor in HBO's television series Treme playing himself. He produced the fiction film Chocolate Babies, which won best picture awards at South by Southwest and New York Lesbian and Gay Film Festival.

Allison Behringer, host of the documentary podcast Bodies, joins Tristan to talk about the women (and marginalized genders) whose stories she shares along with their medical mysteries. It’s a fascinating show where the interviews are deeply personal and intimate, yet what we learn has far-reaching consequences beyond one person’s life. She covers painful sex, medical devices, the pill, vaginal mesh, menopause, ALS, PGAD (persistent genital arousal disorder) and more. And she employs a collaborative method to center her subjects in their stories so they have the space and the power to tell their truths. We discussed discrimination in health care, the detrimental effects of shame, how women’s symptoms are trivialized, and how to be an advocate for your own health care. Plus, we delve into her own medical mystery—which involved painful penetration and sex—and the journey to solve it.   Allison Behringer is a Brooklyn-based a narrative audio journalist and podcast producer. She is the creator, host and producer of Bodies, a feminist documentary podcast, supported by NPR-affiliate KCRW and Webby-nominated for Best Documentary. Each episode is the journey of one person (specifically women and marginalized genders) to solve their medical mystery. It combines intimate, nuanced storytelling with health reporting to uncover the layers that affect health, like racism, sexism, and capitalism. She got her start in podcasting as the host and producer of The Intern, a first-person narrative documentary about navigating the startup tech world at betaworks and living in NYC.

Staceyann Chin joins Tristan to talk about her poetry collection Crossfire: A Litany For Survival. They talk about how she’s doing in the midst of the Black Lives Matter uprisings and the pandemic. She delves into what it means for women to reclaim their bodies after sexual violation. They cover a lot of ground: misogynoir, sexual violence, racism, capitalism, poverty, and inequity. They go deeper and talk about some very personal stuff: queer sex, love, and relationships. Plus, Stacyann reads three of her poems from the book. Poet, actor, and performing artist Staceyann Chin is the author of the new poetry collection Crossfire: A Litany For Survival, the critically acclaimed memoir The Other Side of Paradise, cowriter and original performer in the Tony Award–winning Russell Simmons Def Poetry Jam on Broadway, and author of the one-woman shows Hands Afire, Unspeakable Things, Border/Clash, and MotherStruck. She has appeared on the Oprah Winfrey Show and 60 Minutes, and her poetry been featured in the New York Times and the Washington Post. She proudly identifies as Caribbean, Black, Asian, lesbian, a woman, and a resident of New York City, as well as a Jamaican national.

Sex therapist and neuroscientist Dr. Nan Wise talks about her incredible book Why Good Sex Matters: Understand the Neuroscience of Pleasure for a Smarter, Happier, and More Purpose Filled Life. Dr. Wise was a well-regarded sex therapist when she decided to go back to school to become a neuroscientist! She did an infamous study where she put people in fMRI machines, asked them to orgasm, then studied what parts of their brain lit up. This woman knows more about the sex and brain connection than anyone I know Quote: “Although we know our brains are involved in and contribute to sex, my research suggests that our brains largely control sex and pleasure.”   Dr. Nan Wise is a licensed psychotherapist, cognitive neuroscientist, certified sex therapist, board certified clinical hypnotherapist, and certified relationship specialist with three decades of experience. Driven by an intense desire to understand how the brain operates to create moods and behaviors, she returned to academia in 2009 to purse a Ph.D. in cognitive neuroscience at Rutgers-Newark where completed her dissertation project, “Genital stimulation, imagery, and orgasm in women: an fMRI analysis” in August of 2014. Her research has attempted to address gaps in the scientific literature regarding the neural basis of human sexuality, and has as a result, garnered international attention.  Dr. Wise has recently published two scientific papers, Activation of sensory cortex by imagined genital stimulation an fMRI analysis (2016)" and "Brain Activity Unique to Orgasm in Women: An fMRI Analysis (2017) and is the coauthor of Peripheral and Central Neural Bases of Orgasm in The Textbook of Female Sexual Functioning (2018).  She is the author of Why Good Sex Matters: Understand the Neuroscience of Pleasure for a Smarter, Happier, and More Purpose Filled life. Sex therapist and neuroscientist Dr. Nan Wise talks about her incredible book Why Good Sex Matters: Understand the Neuroscience of Pleasure for a Smarter, Happier, and More Purpose Filled Life. Dr. Wise was a well-regarded sex therapist when she decided to go back to school to become a neuroscientist! She did an infamous study where she put people in fMRI machines, asked them to orgasm, then studied what parts of their brain lit up. This woman knows more about the sex and brain connection than anyone I know Quote: “Although we know our brains are involved in and contribute to sex, my research suggests that our brains largely control sex and pleasure.”   Dr. Nan Wise is a licensed psychotherapist, cognitive neuroscientist, certified sex therapist, board certified clinical hypnotherapist, and certified relationship specialist with three decades of experience. Driven by an intense desire to understand how the brain operates to create moods and behaviors, she returned to academia in 2009 to purse a Ph.D. in cognitive neuroscience at Rutgers-Newark where completed her dissertation project, “Genital stimulation, imagery, and orgasm in women: an fMRI analysis” in August of 2014. Her research has attempted to address gaps in the scientific literature regarding the neural basis of human sexuality, and has as a result, garnered international attention.  Dr. Wise has recently published two scientific papers, Activation of sensory cortex by imagined genital stimulation an fMRI analysis (2016)" and "Brain Activity Unique to Orgasm in Women: An fMRI Analysis (2017) and is the coauthor of Peripheral and Central Neural Bases of Orgasm in The Textbook of Female Sexual Functioning (2018).  She is the author of Why Good Sex Matters: Understand the Neuroscience of Pleasure for a Smarter, Happier, and More Purpose Filled life.

Writer & philosopher Simon(e) van Sarloos talks about their book, Playing Monogamy, newly translated into English. They discuss how to understand the world through structures, imagining what love can look like, and writing history in real time. Simon(e) van Saarloos is a writer and philosopher based in Amsterdam, the Netherlands. They published several books in Dutch including a novel and a collection of columns. In Enz. Het Wildersproces, Van Saarloos shares a feminist and queer report of the trial against the Dutch right-wing politician Geert Wilders. To learn a bit more about this book, check out a recent essay on the Gezi Park Trial in Turkey. In Het monogame drama, Van Saarloos critiques monogamous living and false notions of safety, proposing a nonmonogamous love life and a different take on ownership and property. The book was recently translated into English and published by Publication Studio, titled Playing Monogamy. Their most recent book, Herdenken herdacht, is a non-fiction work about queer forgetfulness, whiteness and embodied commemoration.Van Saarloos curates collaborations between artists, activists and scholars and regularly appears on stage as a lecturer, interviewer and performer.

For the first time in Sex Out Loud history, Tristan covers a topic that is taboo among the BDSM/kink community: Adult Baby & Diaper Lovers. Our expert is Dr. Rhoda, a therapist in private practice and the author of the book No More Hiding: Permission to Love Your Sexual Self. Dr. Rhoda Lipscomb has been counseling and coaching individuals and couples in human sexuality for over 28 years. She is an AASECT certified sex therapist, clinical sexologist, and sexuality coach specializing in areas of alternative sexuality. She has been in private practice for over 14 years. She frequently speaks at AB/DL events such as CapCon, TeddyCon, and US Littles, has been a guest expert on multiple podcasts regarding AB/DL acceptance and educates therapists to understand and work with the AB/DL community.

Therapist and author Jan Dworkin talks about her work examining sex, relationships, and communication through the lens of power & dreaming, both systemic and individual. She uses case studies from her practice and pulls from her own experience with sex and relationships. Tristan opens up about the topics as well. Jan Dworkin, PhD, has more than 25 years of international, cross-cultural experience as a couples therapist and leadership coach. She is a co-founder of the Process Work Institute (PWI), a not-for-profit graduate school dedicated to research and training in process-oriented psychology. She served as its academic dean for over a decade and continues to teach training workshops worldwide. Jan coaches leaders and teams across sectors, specializing in conflict facilitation and leadership development in creative industries. She is the author of Make Love Better: How to Own Your Story, Connect with Your Partner and Deepen Your Relationship Practice (Belly Song Press, 2019). Based in Portland, Oregon, she lives with her partner, Jerry, and their Corgi, Mattie.

Tristan realized she's interviewed not one, but TWO former contestants on the TV show The Masked Singer - so we went deep into the Sex Out Loud vault to find the shows from 2012 and 2013 and edited them together, commercial-free. Topics include: anal sex, non-monogamy, embracing your body, clitoral vs g-spot stimulation, favorite sex toys, and much more.

Author and artist Cooper Lee Bombardier talks about his new memoir, Pass With Care, unpacking masculinity, transitioning in community 20 years ago, facing demons, and exploring accountability. Cooper Lee Bombardier is a queer, trans American writer and visual artist living in Canada. His writing appears in The Kenyon Review, The Malahat Review, Ninth Letter, CutBank, Nailed Magazine, Longreads, BOMB, and The Rumpus; and in 13 anthologies, including the Lambda Literary Award-winning anthology, The Remedy–Essays on Queer Health Issues, and the Lambda-nominated anthology, Meanwhile, Elsewhere: Speculative Fiction From Transgender Writers, which won a 2018 American Library Association Stonewall Book Award. His memoir-in-essays, Pass with Care, is available now from Dottir Press.

Sex educator & author Marla Renee Stewart returns to the show to talk about her new book, The Ultimate Guide to Seduction & Foreplay, co-written with Dr. Jess. This interview continues the conversation on seduction and building your sex skills by examining your learning style and figuring out how to seduce yourself. Marla Renee Stewart, MA is a sexologist and a sex coach who runs her own sexuality education company, Velvet Lips.  She is also a Co-Founder of the Sex Down South Conference and the Sexual Liberation Collective.  She has studied human sexuality for more than 19 years and has been featured on a variety of media outlets, as well as spoken to various audiences around the world. 

Christina Crosby, Professor of English and Feminist Gender and Sexuality Studies at Wesleyan University, is the author of A Body, Undone: Living on After Great Pain, a memoir written in the wake of spinal cord injury, pain and paralysis. At once deeply personal and deeply unsentimental, the book is her effort to “create something of an otherwise confounded life [by] ‘diving into the wreck’ of my body.”

Gene Demby, journalist and co-host of NPR's Code Switch, talks with Tristan about how racism and the environment in America informs sexual education, religion, interracial dating, fetishization, swinging while Black, and other issues that impact us today. (This special 90-minute episode was recorded before the uprisings & protests that began in late May 2020.)

TV personality, author, podcast host Dr. Jess O'Reilly joins us to talk about her new book on the topics of seduction, foreplay, core & elevated erotic feelings. Jess O’Reilly (@SexWithDrJess) is a sex and relationship expert with a background in education. Her research and passion involves teacher training in sexual health and she volunteers in schools and universities to help bring better sex & relationship education to students across Ontario. Jess is also a television personality, author, podcast host (@SexWithDrJess Podcast) and international speaker who has facilitated hundreds of corporate workshops and retreats in 35 countries from Lebanon to Costa Rica. 

Kevin A. Patterson & Alana Phelan, the authors of the For Hire series, join us to talk about their new books featuring queer polyamorous heroes and magicians. It's a world like our own, but the emergence of superhumans has created shifts in culture that play out in changes both subtle and monumental. They chat about what inspired the characters, the story, and whether shadow government conspiracy theories are real. Kevin Patterson, M.Ed has been practicing ethical nonmonogamy since August of 2002. In April of 2015, Kevin was inspired to start Poly Role Models, a popular interview series blog. The blog extended into speaking engagements about how race and polyamory intersect and the writing of the book, Love's Not Color Blind. Kevin took a month-long break from Love's Not Color Blind to write the first draft of For Hire: Operator.  Alana Phelan is a librarian, writer, editor, and community organizer. She lives in South Jersey with her family, two cats, and a surprisingly large Dorbz collection. You can find her online as The Polyamorous Librarian, where she writes a weekly advice column and offers workshops and relationship support. She wasn't supposed to be a co-writer on For Hire: Operator, only an editor, but here we are.

Author Carley Moore talks about the new gritty, sexy, queer novel The Not Wives. Tristan talks with her about writing queer characters and hot sex scenes in fiction, telling stories from The Occupy Movement, and what New York City in 2011 has in common with today. Many publishers said they didn't know these characters, but for many queer people, the depictions reflect our real life in ways not often seen in mainstream books. They chat about bisexuality, pansexuality, coming out, and when it feels like when a threesome could happen at any moment.

A personal interview with Tristan Taormino about a recent experience she had a sex-positive event that made her reconsider her work and career. She tells her story and discusses the outcome, what it means going forward, and how communities can be better prepared for dealing with these scenarios. Content note: boundary-crossing, harassment, interpersonal conflict.

Tristan talks with Tina Horn (and producer Raymond) about how we're coping with staying sane and finding room for pleasure and connection while living through COVID-19. They discuss how to broaden your idea of intimacy, give space for complicated feelings, try new techniques, and how to eroticize anything.

In 2019 Tristan went to Cancun for Swingset Takes Desire, along with Matie Fricker of Self Serve Toys. They recorded a live episode on the beach with audience discussion on accessibility for all bodies in sex spaces, creating community that intentionally welcomes everyone, navigating rejection, and what bisexual men's paradise looks like. Topics include: polyamory, swinging, sexual fantasy, body acceptance, self-love. (This is Part Two of the discussion which took place before the global pandemic.)

Last year Tristan went to Cancun for Swingset Takes Desire with Matie Fricker of Self Serve Toys. They recorded a live episode on the beach with audience discussion on body appreciation, struggling to be evolved, managing your triad, and more. Topics include: polyamory, swinging, sexual fantasy, body acceptance, self-love. (This is Part One of the discussion which took place in 2019, before the global pandemic.)