Look... every couple struggles. You fight too much; you're bored; sex is either okay (or rare); maybe you're even considering divorce. OR... maybe your marriage is actually pretty good, but you want to go deeper. In this podcast, straight-talking marriage therapists Zach Brittle and Laura Heck tackle the most common complaints virtually every marriage experience. Along the way, they reveal the science behind strong relationships and talk about what's really going on for couples. Topics include conflict, communication, compatibility, money, sex, in-laws, infidelity, time-management, future dreams, and more. If you want relief? A deeper connection? A new way forward...? Then you've got to find out what's REALLY going on in your marriage. That's what this podcast is about. You can learn more about Zach and Laura, and their alternatives to traditional therapy at marriagetherapyradio.com.
Ep 343 Reporting Back
Laura has her first snow of the year, and on her morning run no less. Zach thanks you for listening and shares his admiration for another podcaster.
They transition into a great conversation about how partners can communicate and take responsibility in meeting each other’s needs.
Laura shares a personal story about her relationship with her husband, Ryan, highlighting the tension that arises when Ryan commits to activities, like golf trips, without considering the impact on family time. This sparks a larger conversation about how partners can navigate commitments and balance personal interests with family responsibilities. They explore the concept of taking responsibility in a relationship, with Zach emphasizing the importance of reporting back to your partner about how you’re honoring their requests and commitments.
Zach and Laura also discuss the role of empathy and how partners can preemptively check in on each other's feelings and needs. They reflect on how simple acts, like acknowledging a partner’s feelings or proactively addressing concerns, can prevent conflicts from escalating. The episode offers practical insights into how couples can take small but meaningful steps to improve communication and build trust.
Episode Highlights:
Balancing Commitments in Relationships: Laura shares her experience with Ryan’s golf trips, exploring the tension between supporting personal activities and maintaining family balance.
Taking Responsibility in a Relationship: Zach explains the importance of reporting back to your partner about honoring requests, ensuring that both partners feel heard and respected.
Empathy and Preemptive Communication: They dive into how checking in with your partner before an issue arises can prevent unnecessary conflict and strengthen connection.
How to Respond with Gratitude Instead of Reactivity: Laura discusses how responding with gratitude, even in moments of frustration, can help build a stronger emotional bond with your partner.
Trust and Transparency in Relationships: Zach and Laura explore how transparency about decisions and actions, even small ones, can help build trust over time.
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10/22/2024 • 37 minutes, 36 seconds
FIXED AUDIO Ep 342 Nobody Wants This: Lessons on Vulnerability and Connection
Zach and Laura kick off this episode with some fun banter about Laura's outfit and a Zoom-themed party Zach attended with their mutual friend. They quickly shift gears to discuss the feedback they’ve been receiving from long-time listeners. With heartfelt messages from those who’ve listened to every episode, they reflect on the value their show has brought to people’s lives. Zach asks: How has listening to every episode of Marriage Therapy Radio impacted your life or relationships?
Laura shares a realization of how powerful affirmation can be, whether it’s with a spouse, children, or even teachers greeting students. This leads to her marriage tip of the day: Affirm someone today.
Zach and Laura dive into a TV show they've been watching, Nobody Wants This, which sparks a rich discussion about the dynamics of vulnerability, communication, and relationships depicted in the show. They explore themes of openness, accepting influence, and navigating the tension between personal identity and compromise within relationships. Zach relates moments from the show to real-life relationship dynamics, offering insights on how viewers can learn from the fictional couple’s journey.
Episode Highlights:
Listener Shoutouts and Affirmation: Zach and Laura share feedback from listeners who have listened to every episode, reflecting on the impact of the podcast.
Marriage Tip: Affirm Someone Today: Laura encourages listeners to take a moment to affirm someone, noting how powerful simple recognition can be in relationships and everyday interactions.
Insights from Nobody Wants This: Zach and Laura dive into their analysis of the TV show Nobody Wants This, discussing themes of vulnerability, relationship dynamics, and the importance of communication. They draw parallels between the show’s characters and real-life couples.
Join the Conversation:
Zach and Laura invite you to reach out if the podcast has impacted your relationships or if you’ve found certain episodes particularly meaningful. They also encourage you to check out Nobody Wants This and watch it through the lens of relationship growth.
Sponsor:
Practice love every day with Paired, the #1 app for couples. Download the app at https://www.paired.com/MTR50
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10/15/2024 • 45 minutes, 31 seconds
Ep 342 Nobody Wants This: Lessons on Vulnerability and Connection
Zach and Laura kick off this episode with some fun banter about Laura's outfit and a Zoom-themed party Zach attended with their mutual friend. They quickly shift gears to discuss the feedback they’ve been receiving from long-time listeners. With heartfelt messages from those who’ve listened to every episode, they reflect on the value their show has brought to people’s lives. Zach asks: How has listening to every episode of Marriage Therapy Radio impacted your life or relationships?
Laura shares a realization of how powerful affirmation can be, whether it’s with a spouse, children, or even teachers greeting students. This leads to her marriage tip of the day: Affirm someone today.
Zach and Laura dive into a TV show they've been watching, Nobody Wants This, which sparks a rich discussion about the dynamics of vulnerability, communication, and relationships depicted in the show. They explore themes of openness, accepting influence, and navigating the tension between personal identity and compromise within relationships. Zach relates moments from the show to real-life relationship dynamics, offering insights on how viewers can learn from the fictional couple’s journey.
Episode Highlights:
Listener Shoutouts and Affirmation: Zach and Laura share feedback from listeners who have listened to every episode, reflecting on the impact of the podcast.
Marriage Tip: Affirm Someone Today: Laura encourages listeners to take a moment to affirm someone, noting how powerful simple recognition can be in relationships and everyday interactions.
Insights from Nobody Wants This: Zach and Laura dive into their analysis of the TV show Nobody Wants This, discussing themes of vulnerability, relationship dynamics, and the importance of communication. They draw parallels between the show’s characters and real-life couples.
Join the Conversation:
Zach and Laura invite you to reach out if the podcast has impacted your relationships or if you’ve found certain episodes particularly meaningful. They also encourage you to check out Nobody Wants This and watch it through the lens of relationship growth.
Sponsor:
Practice love every day with Paired, the #1 app for couples. Download the app at https://www.paired.com/MTR50
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10/15/2024 • 56 minutes, 10 seconds
Ep 341 Listener Question about Separation
Zach and Laura celebrate a special milestone—seven years of Marriage Therapy Radio. They kick things off with some lighthearted banter about their journey, joking about sending out autographed glamour shots. From there, they dive into a listener email from a woman navigating an in-home separation from her husband, who she suspects may be engaging in secretive behavior.
They explore the complexities of separation, emphasizing the importance of clear boundaries, purpose, and communication. Whether you're in a separation or just curious, Zach and Laura share insights on how separation can lead to healing or more confusion, depending on how it’s handled. Zach raises concerns about secretive behavior, like hiding phone activity, often being a signal of deeper issues, and they give practical advice on addressing distrust in relationships.
They also talk about the value of having a separation agreement, with clear guidelines for how you’ll navigate this period. Laura encourages you to trust your gut when something feels "off", and approach the situation with curiosity rather than accusations. Zach reminds you that taking leadership by setting expectations and boundaries can help reestablish trust and connection.
Episode Highlights:
Celebrating Seven Years of Marriage Therapy Radio: Zach and Laura reflect on seven years of podcasting, sharing playful moments and celebrating their journey with you.
The Complexities of Separation: They break down how to navigate an in-home separation, stressing the need for clear boundaries and a shared purpose to avoid further emotional turmoil.
Addressing Secretive Behavior in Relationships: Zach and Laura give you advice on how to confront suspicious behavior—like hiding phone activity—and how to have honest conversations about trust.
Separation as a Tool for Healing: They explain that separation doesn’t have to lead to divorce, but can instead be used for personal growth and healing if you approach it with care and intention.
Taking Leadership in Relationships: Zach encourages you to take a leadership role by setting clear expectations and boundaries during difficult times, which can model healthy behaviors for your children.
Join the Conversation:
If you have a relationship question or a story to share, Zach and Laura would love to hear from you. You can send in your questions for future episodes! Also, check out the upcoming online Relational Life Therapy Boot Camp that Zach will be co-leading. More details are available on the Marriage Therapy Radio website.
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10/8/2024 • 40 minutes, 17 seconds
Ep 340 The Art of Apologizing
Laura shares her pride in completing a triathlon and Zach chimes in with his marathon experiences. The discussion transitions into deeper relationship topics, focusing on how to apologize effectively and, just as importantly, how to receive an apology.
Zach emphasizes that successful relationships are not just about knowing how to apologize, but also about knowing how to accept a partner’s apology. They explore common pitfalls in apologizing, such as using the word “but,” and highlight how defensiveness can block genuine repair efforts.
The hosts reference the work of Harriet Lerner and her book Why Won’t You Apologize? to guide their discussion on the do’s and don’ts of apologizing. Key points include avoiding justification in apologies, focusing on one’s own actions, and not using an apology to manipulate or silence a partner’s feelings. They conclude with reflections on the importance of patience and openness, particularly when building trust and navigating long-term emotional injuries.
Episode Highlights:
How to Apologize Effectively: Laura breaks down the steps to making a meaningful apology, emphasizing the importance of owning your actions and avoiding justifications that can diminish the apology’s impact.
Receiving an Apology: Zach explains how receiving an apology with gratitude is a crucial part of repair, allowing space for ongoing healing even if the hurt is not immediately resolved.
Avoiding the “But” in Apologies: Laura highlights how using “but” in an apology can negate the acknowledgment of harm and frustrate repair attempts.
Building Trust Through Repeated Repairs: The discussion emphasizes that long-term healing in relationships is only possible through repeated, genuine efforts to repair and demonstrate change.
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10/1/2024 • 55 minutes, 27 seconds
Ep 339 Outsourcing Emotional Needs
Laura finds out how Zach did hanging out with her family over the weekend. Zach shares his struggle between choosing a trendy neighborhood or staying in a corporate setting, leading into a conversation about how environments can affect work and client experiences.
They then discuss relational boundaries and the concept of outsourcing emotional needs. Laura explains how people often put too much pressure on their partner to fulfill all their emotional needs, advocating instead for "outsourcing" some emotional support to friends, therapists, or family members—when done with mutual consent. Zach and Laura also reflect on the pressures partners can feel when they are expected to meet specific needs, especially around physical and emotional intimacy.
They share a couple of sneak peek clips of the new, Patreon exclusive series, So I Married a Relationship Expert.
Episode Highlights:
Zach’s Office Dilemma: Zach debates between two office locations—one in a corporate setting and the other in a trendy neighborhood—offering insights into decision-making and how change affects routine.
Outsourcing Emotional Needs: Laura explains the importance of seeking support outside the relationship, advocating for healthy outsourcing of emotional needs when a partner can’t meet every need, with mutual consent.
Effort vs. Excellence in Relationships: Zach shares a story about a couple where one partner feels validated not because of perfection, but because of the effort made in the relationship. They emphasize how important it is to acknowledge effort even when outcomes aren’t perfect.
Acceptance in Relationships: Laura reflects on how some couples reach a point where acceptance of their partner’s limitations is key to maintaining a healthy relationship, rather than continually pushing for unmet needs to be fulfilled.
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9/24/2024 • 49 minutes, 16 seconds
Ep 338 Gaslighting or Emotional Invalidation? Understanding the Difference
Zach and Laura discuss the launch of their new book, Reconnect, and how couples can use it to improve their relationship.
They delve into an in-depth discussion on the concept of gaslighting, clarifying that it involves malicious, intentional manipulation—far different from the common emotional invalidation many couples experience.
Episode Highlights:
How to Use Reconnect: Zach and Laura suggest couples can work through the book slowly, section by section, or use it more casually, dipping into exercises or conversations as needed. They emphasize flexibility in how the book is used to foster meaningful conversations and connection.
Gaslighting vs. Emotional Invalidation: They break down the difference between true gaslighting and more common relational behaviors, like emotional invalidation. They stress that many couples mislabel situations as gaslighting when, in fact, they involve misunderstandings or disagreements about past events.
Parallel Universes Technique: Zach shares a therapeutic approach where he helps couples understand that their different realities may never align. He introduces the idea of “parallel universes” as a way for partners to acknowledge each other’s feelings without requiring complete agreement on the facts.
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9/17/2024 • 43 minutes, 17 seconds
Ep 337 Mustaches, Misunderstandings, and Managing Defensiveness
Zach is feeling bad that his mustache has garnered very little attention. Laura thinks he should keep it. Zach reports back on his experience with his daughter at the Dave Matthew's Band show.
They go on to discuss a bit of some conflict they had right before starting to record. It leads to some great insight into managing one's behavior and reactions even when they are a well-worn habit.
Episode Highlights:
Managing Defensiveness and Criticism: Zach and Laura explore the recurring dynamic of defensiveness and criticism in their own friendship, with Zach noting that managing his defensiveness is one of the most important skills for him maintaining a healthy relationship. They emphasize the importance of pausing and choosing how to respond rather than reacting immediately.
Confirmation Bias in Relationships: The hosts discuss how confirmation bias can skew perceptions in relationships, using a client story to illustrate how one partner might misinterpret their partner’s behavior based on past experiences. The takeaway is to pause and challenge assumptions, asking open-ended questions instead of jumping to conclusions.
Relationships as Growth Machines: Laura mentions a phrase from her colleague that “relationships are human growing machines.” The idea is that relationships constantly challenge us to grow, reflect, and improve. The hosts emphasize that relational growth takes time, patience, and a willingness to embrace discomfort.
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9/10/2024 • 36 minutes, 48 seconds
Ep 336 Your Own Side of the Street
Laura talks about her new bucket list project, inspired by a client challenge, which leads to a broader conversation about dreaming big and setting personal goals. Zach reflects on a deeply personal experience with his daughter, showcasing the complexities of parent-child relationships and the healing power of patience and open communication. Together, Laura and Zach explore the dynamics of how personal growth and responsiveness to each other’s needs can significantly impact the quality and longevity of relationships. Throughout the episode, they encourage listeners to engage more deeply with their own relationships by taking practical steps and fostering open, honest communication.
Episode Highlights:
Turning Towards Your Partner’s Needs: They discuss how small, everyday choices to be attentive and responsive to your partner’s needs can strengthen your relationship. Even seemingly minor issues, like Laura’s hearing concerns, can grow into larger stressors if not addressed. The takeaway is the importance of consistently turning towards your partner's needs to maintain a strong connection.
Mental Health as a Common Enemy: Zach and Laura highlight the value of viewing mental health challenges like anxiety or depression as "common enemies" in a relationship. By naming and acknowledging these issues, couples can unite against them, fostering a sense of teamwork and mutual support rather than letting the challenges divide them.
Keeping Your Partner Engaged: Laura and Zach emphasize the importance of personal growth and maintaining hobbies and interests. They discuss how having passions outside the relationship can make you a more interesting partner and help keep the relationship dynamic and fulfilling.
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9/3/2024 • 43 minutes, 43 seconds
Ep 335 Relationship Bootcamp
Zach introduces Laura, his "little sister," and Julie Ruediger, his friend, mentor, and "big sister”. They discuss how they met, what they’ve learned from each other, and the work they are doing
together this fall.
Episode Highlights:
Sibling Dynamics and Family Reunions: Zach introduces Julie, who immediately fits into the sibling-like rapport he shares with Laura. The trio dives into stories about family reunions, sibling rivalries, and the lighthearted teasing that defines their relationships.
Saying Goodbye to Summer: Zach reflects on dropping his daughter Abi off at the airport and the mixed emotions of enjoying a peaceful home while missing her presence. The conversation touches on the challenges and joys of parenting young adults ready to spread their wings.
Julie’s Mentorship and Training with Zach: Julie shares her journey as a mentor at Terry Reals' Relational Life Institute, where she met Zach. They reminisce about their early training sessions, highlighting Zach's growth and talent as a teacher and therapist.
Introduction to Relationship Boot Camps: Julie and Zach discuss the upcoming relationship boot camp they are co-facilitating in Philadelphia. They explain the boot camp's structure, purpose, and unique benefits, whether attending as a couple or an individual. The boot camp is designed to teach essential relationship skills in a condensed, intensive format, making therapeutic principles accessible and actionable.
Understanding the Adaptive Child: The episode delves into the concept of the "adaptive child," a key idea in relational therapy that refers to the immature, reactive part of ourselves. Julie and Zach discuss how the boot camp helps participants recognize and manage this aspect of their personalities, enhancing personal growth and relationship satisfaction.
Navigating Family Triggers: The conversation circles back to family dynamics, with Zach sharing a personal story about managing his temper during a summer visit with his daughter. Julie offers insights on how family relationships can often trigger our adaptive child and the importance of conscious, deliberate responses to these triggers.
Resources mentioned in this episode:
Relational Life Foundation (https://www.relationallifefoundation.org/) - This website provides information about various boot camps available throughout the year, particularly aimed at individuals who need financial aid or help to access these programs.
Relational Life (https://relationallife.com/) - Similar to the foundation's website, this site offers details on relationship boot camps, with sections dedicated to both couples and therapists. You can find a list of available boot camps and other resources for relationship improvement.
Terry Real (https://terryreal.com/) - Terry Real's website provides a comprehensive list of boot camps for both online and in-person formats, with sections tailored for couples and therapists. You can find schedules, locations, and registration details for various workshops across the country.
Marriage Therapy Radio (https://marriagetherapyradio.com) – Find the links to all the boot camps conducted by Zach Brittle, including both online and in-person sessions.
Julie Rudiger (https://www.julierudiger.com/) - Julie Rudiger's website provides a way for people to reach out to her directly with any questions about the boot camps or other relationship resources. It also hosts information on her workshops and professional services.
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8/27/2024 • 50 minutes, 32 seconds
Ep 334 Is This Friendship OK?
Laura shares her latest journey towards better gut health and the surprising benefits she's noticed, like increased energy and clarity. Zach talks about some feelings that were brought up when seeing his brother at the recent Lard Butt race.
They then tackle an important listener question: Is it okay to have close friends of the opposite sex (or any potential partner alternative), outside of your marriage? Laura and Zach explore the complexities of friendships in marriage, discussing the importance of trust, communication, and setting boundaries. They share insights on maintaining healthy friendships while ensuring your marriage remains the top priority.
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8/20/2024 • 40 minutes, 53 seconds
Ep 333 Your Boring Conflict
Laura touches base with Zach about his other projects and his upcoming race.
Zach shares a successful exercise his clients took on to help them disrupt their boring and predictable patterns of conflict.
Paired. Download the PAIRED app at https://www.paired.com/MTR
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8/13/2024 • 37 minutes, 58 seconds
Ep 332 No More Mr. Nice Guy with Dr. Robert Glover
Zach and Larua discuss the downside of Nice Guys with the man who literally wrote the book on it. Dr. Robert Glover wrote No More Mr. Nice Guy over 20 years ago after seeing his relationships crumble even though he was so nice. His sage wisdom will help any man (or woman) stuck in the nice cycle.
Check out Dr. Glover at: https://www.drglover.com/
Pick up his book at: https://amzn.to/4d95LER
While you are on Amazon pre-order Zach & Laura's new book: https://amzn.to/4ds7XY6
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8/6/2024 • 1 hour, 51 seconds
Ep 331 Reconnect: A Marriage Counseling Workbook
Zach woke up 5 minutes before recording this episode. Laura is a bit baffled and shares a story about her best friend giving her a new beverage to help her tummy now that she's 40.
They make the big announcement of their new book Reconnect: A Marriage Counseling Workbook: Guided Conversations & Exercises for a Long-Lasting Relationship available for pre-sale now. https://amzn.to/3WGgi4G
It would be awesome if you headed over to Amazon to pre-order today https://amzn.to/3WGgi4G. Thanks for your support of Zach and Laura.
Sponsor:
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7/30/2024 • 42 minutes, 54 seconds
Ep 330 Controlling What You Can Control
Zach and Laura discuss how to deal with feeling overwhelmed. This leads them into a great conversation about how to listen to yourself and control the things that you can control.
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7/23/2024 • 42 minutes, 53 seconds
Ep 329 Feeling Heard
Laura discusses how regular she is (if you know what I mean). Together they contemplate if it is worth not engaging with certain things that bring distress.
Zach and Laura reflect on some of the insights from a recent interview regarding the importance of feeling heard. They provide tools and resources to help couples and individuals meet this essential aspect of their relationship.
Sponsor:
Paired. Download the PAIRED app at https://www.paired.com/MTR
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7/16/2024 • 43 minutes, 23 seconds
Ep 328 Kids Leaving the Nest
Laura gives an update on her son's diagnosis and her efforts to raise funds to fight his Not Fun condition. Zach shares about his upcoming book club.
They address a listener's question about differentiating from your grown kids. They discuss how it is necessary, but sometimes painful. This is a great episode for folks with kids of any age.
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7/9/2024 • 43 minutes, 1 second
Ep 327 After the Fight
Zach and Laura start the podcast remembering how it all started. They share how they met and how the podcast was launched. Laura is getting back into weightlifting and is hoping Zach will be at the finish line when she finishes her Iron Man.
Zach shares about a recent fight he had with his wife, Rebecca. Although he doesn't go into the content of the fight, he is very open about how the fight ended and what he learned about himself in the following two days.
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7/2/2024 • 53 minutes, 57 seconds
Ep 326 Going Slow to Go Far
Zach reconnects with Laura after her 2+ week travels in Europe. She shares what she learned while away. Zach recounts his birthday celebration and some gifts he received that are prompting him to slow down.
They go on to discuss the importance of changing the pace, and specifically slowing down, to create space for change in your life and in your relationship.
Join MTR Patreon to get exclusive behind-the-scenes and exclusive content from Zach and Laura. https://www.patreon.com/MarriageTherapyRadio
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6/25/2024 • 35 minutes, 32 seconds
Ep 325 Good Boundaries
Zach and Laura discuss making change, 2 dollar bills, the tooth fairy, and the struggle of using the bathroom in a one-piece outfit.
They go on to discuss the importance of good boundaries.
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6/18/2024 • 45 minutes, 56 seconds
Ep 324 The Pleasure Keys with Susan Morgan Taylor
Susan Morgan Taylor joins Zach and Laura to discuss her work as a sex therapist. She talks about some of the different types of sex therapies/therapists and shares her leys to pleasure.
Download her audio Pleasure Keys Guided Meditation here: https://susanmorgantaylor.ck.page/8f8b0e42c6
You can learn more about her work at https://www.pathwaytopleasure.com/
Sponsor:
Paired. Download the PAIRED app at https://www.paired.com/MTR
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6/11/2024 • 47 minutes, 27 seconds
Ep 323 Great Expectations
Zach and Laura discuss their latest "streaks". Not surprisingly, Laura's is a little more sexy than Zach's.
Laura asks how to deal with unmet expectations in your relationship. Should you lower your standards? Should they step up to the plate? Is there a middle way?
Join the community at https://www.patreon.com/marriagetherapyradio
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6/4/2024 • 42 minutes, 25 seconds
Ep 322 Complaining Too Much or Too Little
Zach's family is all together for the summer. Laura is getting up to speed with her mountain biking.
They invite listeners to support the podcast by joining Patreon. Come for the perks, stay because you support building stronger relationships.
Laura asks when complaining is too much or too little in a relationship. It leads to some great discussion on emotional bank accounts and some tips and tricks to make complaining work within your relationship.
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5/28/2024 • 43 minutes, 38 seconds
Ep 321 Grab Bag
Zach and Laura discuss a number of topics including Mother's Day disappointment, getting to a decision point as a couple, and a special announcement about an upcoming book.
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5/21/2024 • 39 minutes, 21 seconds
Ep 320 Laura's Passion for Sex Therapy
Zach and Laura tackle the tough questions of relationship. Like, "How do you pack for a multi-city trip?".
After some discussion of their travels, Laura shares about her passion for sex therapy. Zach finds it very helpful and we think you will too.
Sponsor:
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5/14/2024 • 41 minutes, 13 seconds
Ep 319 Helping Individuals to Help the Couple with Craig Smith
Zach is away on some travels, so Laura gets to welcome back a previous guest, Craig Smith. Craig is a therapist, coach, and all-around good guy. They discuss how working on yourself can be one of the best things you can do for your marriage. Learn more about Craigs work at https://www.greatestdaymindset.com/
Sponsor:
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5/7/2024 • 56 minutes, 6 seconds
Ep 318 Marriage Question from a 14-Year-Old
Marriage is hard and Sophia, a 14-year-old from NY, wants some answers to what she has been learning. Zach answers her questions and is able to learn a bit about the life and relationships of "kids today".
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4/30/2024 • 35 minutes, 18 seconds
Ep 317 Triggers
After a false start recording, Zach and Laura kick off the episode with some intros for new listeners.
They go on to discuss the concept of "being triggered". Why does it happen? And what can you do about it?
Sponsor:
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4/23/2024 • 33 minutes, 16 seconds
Ep 316 The Attachment Solution with Charisse Cooke
After some discussion of Ted Lasso and Gray's Anatomy, Zach and Laura hear from Charisse Cooke https://charissecooke.com/ about her work and new book The Attachment Solution. Charisse shares about the origin of the styles and how they deeply impact our relationships. You will end this episode with some great tools to better understand yourself and your partner.
Sponsor:
Stop wasting money on things you don’t use. Cancel your unwanted subscriptions by going to https://rocketmoney.com/mtr
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4/16/2024 • 44 minutes, 53 seconds
Ep 315 Move Left
Zach wishes his brother a happy birthday. Laura reminisces about old crushes.
Zach presents a concept about seeing greater options in your potential responses to your partner and constantly choosing the response that moves you away from conflict and toward connection and intimacy.
Sponsor:
Paired. Download the PAIRED app at https://www.paired.com/MTR
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4/9/2024 • 37 minutes, 3 seconds
Ep 314 Ask Me Anything Part 2
Laura admits to a potential crime in the most privileged setting possible. Zach drops his wife off for surgery after an argument in the car.
After starting strong they return to your questions. The answers to these questions from individual listeners contain insight that will benefit all relationships.
Sponsor:
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4/2/2024 • 39 minutes, 37 seconds
Ep 313 Ask Me Anything Part 1
Zach and Laura welcome spring by answering a couple of questions listeners have sent in. They share both their clinical perspective as well as their personal experiences in this first in an AMA series.
Sponsor:
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3/26/2024 • 39 minutes, 45 seconds
Ep 312 How Your Marriage Ends with Matt Fray
Zach and Laura chat with author Matt Fray https://matthewfray.com/ about his book This is How Your Marriage Ends https://matthewfray.com/order-book/. Matt's wisdom was hard-earned after a divorce that forced him to look deeply at the skills and habits he lacked in his marriage.
You will end this episode with insights that will improve your relationship.
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3/19/2024 • 49 minutes, 57 seconds
Ep 311 Women are Amazing
Laura is working to get in the best shape of her life. Zach is celebrating women and recognizing he sometimes gets the Man Flu.
They share some great resources that can support you as you seek to grow your relationship.
Sponsor:
Paired. Download the PAIRED app at https://www.paired.com/MTR
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3/12/2024 • 37 minutes, 11 seconds
Ep 310 Training in Costa Rica
Laura is moving back into her house. Zach recaps his trip to Costa Rica to receive training from Esther Perel and Terry Real.
Sponsor:
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3/5/2024 • 47 minutes, 27 seconds
Ep 309 - ADHD in Marriage with Melissa Orlov
Zach and Laura are both seeing ADHD be raised as a topic, if not an issue, in their practices. So they are delighted to get to sit down with Melissa Orlov to learn how to address its impact on a marriage. Melissa is a leading expert on the impacts of ADHD on marriage and relationships, the author of The ADHD Effect on Marriage, and the founder of ADHD & Marriage.
Their discussion is insightful for those in a marriage impacted by ADHD, or anyone interested in this underdiagnosed neurodiverity.
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2/27/2024 • 48 minutes, 7 seconds
Ep 308 Peel the Orange
Zach shares his impressive home improvement skills. Laura is grateful for a listener's support.
They discuss a recent TikTok trend that may have a greater impact on a relationship than many understand.
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2/20/2024 • 38 minutes, 26 seconds
Ep 307 The Ingredients of Love with Dr. Sara Nasserzadeh, PhD
Zach has an engaging conversation with Dr. Sara Nasserzadeh about her research and new book Love by Design. Laura is off this week. They discuss the 6 ingredients to build lasting love. You can learn more about Dr. Nasserzadeh's work and order her book at https://www.sara-nasserzadeh.com/
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2/13/2024 • 54 minutes, 24 seconds
Ep 306 Marital Collusion
Zach is a bit annoyed with his auto dealer. Laura is downsizing her car to a much bigger vehicle.
They go on to discuss the importance of positive collusion with your partner to better yourself and your relationship. They offer a number of personal examples as well as some tips and tricks to see growth in any marriage.
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2/6/2024 • 39 minutes, 30 seconds
Ep 305 Vulnerability and Intimacy with Dr. Jessica Higgins
Zach and Laura welcome Dr. Jessica Higgins to the podcast. They discuss the importance of acknowledging and expressing emotions, modeling vulnerability, and using language that promotes curiosity and understanding in communication. They emphasize the need to slow down, bring awareness to interpretations, and create space for regulating emotions during interactions.
Learn more about Dr. Higgins and her work at https://drjessicahiggins.com/
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1/30/2024 • 34 minutes, 19 seconds
Ep 304 Making Sense
Zach and Laura discuss the role of Wordle in their lives. Laura had a fun conversation with her kid after he walked in on her and her husband.
In a roundabout way, this reminds Zach of a tool he's been using in his practice to help couples make meaning of their decisions and experiences.
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1/23/2024 • 29 minutes, 21 seconds
Ep 303 Feeling Stuck
Zach and Laura discuss their New Year's goals. They reflect on a kind listener's email offering some critique.
In the spirit of new beginnings, they offer a ton of insight into what to do when you are feeling stuck or you feel like your partner is keeping you stuck.
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1/16/2024 • 46 minutes, 9 seconds
Ep 302 Anger Resolution with Dr. Nick Sotelo
Zach and Laura hear from Dr. Nick Sotelo about his work helping men manage their anger. Nick has a fascinating background that gives him a unique perspective on unmanaged anger. He has developed many helpful resources for men to address this in their lives.
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1/9/2024 • 41 minutes, 28 seconds
Ep 301 Happy New Year
Laura wasn't really feeling the Christmas spirit this year. Zach started his Christmas morning around 11. Laura accidentally stole half of a sign.
They reflect together on Christmas cards and how to be authentic but also remind each other that we are OK. They talk a bit about broken hearts and early relationships and spend time reflecting on this last year and their hopes for the new year.
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1/2/2024 • 52 minutes, 49 seconds
Ep 300 Fondness and Admiration
Zach and Laura reflect a bit on making it to 300 hundred episodes and what they hope listeners have gained along the way.
Zach tells Laura how he has learned from her in the different way that she approaches thinking and talking about sharing fondness and admiration. It leads to a great conversation about how to appreciate your partner and love them the way they want to be loved.
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12/26/2023 • 38 minutes, 59 seconds
Ep 299 All the Parts
Zach reflects on some of what he heard at a recent therapist conference. It leads to a wonderful discussion of the different parts of ourselves that we bring to our relationships and how we can access those parts for the improvement of our marriages and partnerships.
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12/19/2023 • 45 minutes, 37 seconds
Ep 298 Can of Worms Part 2
Zach and Laura get to the topic they teased last episode. It is an exercise that couples can use to safely discuss the unspoken topics in their relationship. If done well, it will lead to greater intimacy, understanding, and maybe some makeup sex :)
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12/12/2023 • 37 minutes, 36 seconds
Ep 297 Can of Worms Part 1
Zach and Laura's kid kind of sing a song together. Laura discusses toilet time with your partner, leading to a great discussion about different types of intimacy. She hoped to work out an exercise she's been doing with her clients, but she and Zach got distracted.
At the end of the episode, Laura shares an important update about what she is doing to support her son's recent diagnosis.
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12/5/2023 • 47 minutes, 25 seconds
Ep 296 Holiday Hangover
Zach and Laura discuss the exhaustion and stress of the holidays and the relational struggles that can cause.
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11/28/2023 • 43 minutes, 31 seconds
Ep 295 Sazan & Stevie Hendrix on their Real Good Life
Zach and Laura welcome Sazan and Stevie Hendrix; authors, influencers, parents, and a real couple, to discuss their new book and more. Be sure to check out the book and all they have to offer at https://stevieandsazan.com/
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11/21/2023 • 58 minutes, 19 seconds
Ep 294 Your New Hobby
Zach and Laura discuss hair length and how it works for each of them. They contemplate if there are any shared activities that they could enjoy doing together (besides podcasting). This leads to a conversation about how treating areas of your relationship that you want to improve like a hobby.
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11/14/2023 • 42 minutes, 35 seconds
Ep 293 What It's Like to Be Laura Heck
Today we break from our normal format to share an episode from Dan Heath's new podcast What It's Like To Be... Dan interviews Laura about what it's like to be a couples therapist. It's a chance to hear about Laura and her work from another perspective. We hope you enjoy it.
Check out the other episodes at https://www.whatitsliketobe.com/
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11/7/2023 • 31 minutes, 14 seconds
Ep 292 Real Couple, Real Struggles, Real Triumphs
Zach is flying solo this week and is joined by real-life couple Elizabeth and Steve Andrews. They share stories of what brought them together, the struggles they have overcome, and what keeps them going after over 30 years together.
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10/31/2023 • 41 minutes
Ep 291 Infidelity & Recovery with Dr. Monique Thompson
Zach and Laura sit down to discuss infidelity and recovery with Dr. Monique Thompson. Dr. Thomson offers insight and practical tips for navigating this traumatic event in any relationship.
Learn more about Dr. Thompson and her offerings at https://doctormoniquethompson.com/about-dr-thompson
At the end of the episode, she shares the secret of her famous bundt cake.
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10/24/2023 • 42 minutes, 58 seconds
Ep 290 Ireland
Laura is trying to solve a persistent eye twitch.
Zach shares about his recent trip to Ireland and what he learned about life and relationships in his travels.
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10/17/2023 • 43 minutes, 10 seconds
Ep 289 Feedback
Zach quizzes Laura to see how well she knows him which leads to some discussion on expectations within your family system.
Zach uses his personal example to revisit a helpful tool for giving and receiving feedback in your relationship.
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10/10/2023 • 38 minutes, 33 seconds
Ep 288 Freedom in Divorce with Dr. Karin Luise
Zach and Laura hear from Dr. Karin Luise (https://doctorkarin.com/) about what can happen when the changes we go through in our marriages end in divorce. Dr. Karin offers some personal stories as well as professional guidance for claiming your freedom and new path.
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10/3/2023 • 41 minutes, 16 seconds
Ep 287 Partner in Pain
Laura is hoping to celebrate Christmas in her home. Zach lost one of his defining characteristics after scrolling Instagram one evening, but then used the 2 German words he used to escape being entrapped. Laura shares a couple of stories of disappointment in international travel.
They go on to discuss how to be a good partner when you or your partner are in pain. You will find some really great tips that will increase your intimacy and connection.
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9/26/2023 • 37 minutes, 50 seconds
Ep 286 Just Friends
Zach and Laura had to restart the podcast because they were so scattered. Zach revisits a dad joke. Laura tells you why she travels with a vibrator. They move on to answer a lister question about how to think about and manage relationships with a viable alternative partner.
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9/19/2023 • 36 minutes, 2 seconds
Ep 285 The Sober Life with Courtney Anderson
Zach and Laura discuss getting and staying sober with Courtney Anderson. They share some personal stories as well as some tips for navigating sobriety in your relationship. Courtney is the author of Sober Vibes https://www.courtneyrecovered.com/sober-vibes-pre-order and offers a variety of support to women living the sober life.
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9/12/2023 • 51 minutes, 39 seconds
Ep 284 Apologizing
Zach is getting ready to head to Ireland after 3 years of planning and Laura is off to Tuscany. They talk a bit about the good things that can come from traveling with your partner. They transition to a topic Zach has on his mind: apologizing.
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9/5/2023 • 42 minutes, 6 seconds
Ep 283 Sexual Information
Laura is feeling a bit of a vulnerability hangover from the last episode. But that doesn't stop her from opening up about some ways that she is enlivening her sex life. She leads Zach in discussing various resources you can use to grow your sexual intimacy.
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8/29/2023 • 40 minutes, 54 seconds
Ep 282 Your Deeper Story
Zach and Laura interview Chris Bruno and Tracy Johson of ReStory about their work taking both individuals and couples into deeper work about how their past stories inform their present and future. Be sure to check out their work at https://www.restory.life/ and snag their free resource Thrive Dates https://www.restory.life/thrive-dates
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8/22/2023 • 41 minutes, 59 seconds
Ep 281 Feeling all the Feels
Laura is flooded with emotion and wants to figure out how not to bottle her feelings. Zach is also feeling some big feelings.
This leads them into a conversation about the importance of connecting with your feeling and increasing your understanding of how to deal with them.
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8/15/2023 • 45 minutes, 41 seconds
Ep 280 Becoming a Couples Therapist
Laura has a twitchy eye. Zach remembers his favorite movie, but more important, just finished a year-long certification.
They discuss a listener's question about how Zach and Laura got into couples counseling as a profession. It leads to some fun personal stories about their journeys and hopefully provides some insight into the process for anyone looking to pursue this career path.
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8/8/2023 • 40 minutes, 49 seconds
Ep 279 Make Up Stories
Laura thinks she may have broken her ankle, but is maybe more bothered by her unshaven legs. Zach is courting some guests for the podcast in very creative ways.
They discuss how so much of life is a made-up story and the power you have to transform your relationship by deciding to make up some new stories.
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8/1/2023 • 51 minutes, 21 seconds
Ep 278 After the Argument with the Freemans
Zach and Laura discuss what to do after the argument with Jocelyn and Aaron Freeman. You can read more about the Freeman's work and their resources at https://www.meetthefreemans.com/
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7/25/2023 • 45 minutes, 25 seconds
Ep 277 The New Work
Laura is still moving out of her house and cutting back on the scope of the remodel.
Zach asks how couples can appreciate the relational dynamics that got them to where they are today while releasing those habits to form new practices to serve their current relationship goals better.
Register for an upcoming workshop at https://marriagetherapyradio.com/seven-principles-workshop/
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7/18/2023 • 33 minutes, 40 seconds
Ep 276 Testosterone with Dr, Kyle N. LaPoint
Laura brings in Dr. Kyle N. LaPoint to discuss the role of testosterone in maintaining overall health in both men and women. Dr. LaPoint is a Naturopathic Physician with a practice in Bend Oregon. You can learn more about him and his practice at https://www.lapointwellness.com/
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7/11/2023 • 40 minutes, 8 seconds
Ep 275 House Rules
Laura is all done up for the podcast, which doesn't translate great in an audio format. She is also purging her house and running 30 miles. Zach, meanwhile, pulled a muscle walking a couple of miles.
They go on to discuss the importance of having a shared understanding of house rules for your relationship.
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7/4/2023 • 42 minutes, 4 seconds
Ep 274 What about Me?
Zach shares some of what he learned about himself on his recent international trip. Laura continues to process her son's diagnosis and recounts her own travel stories.
Zach asks Laura for advice on handling clients who keep looking to fulfill their own needs without considering the other.
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6/27/2023 • 34 minutes, 14 seconds
Ep 273 In Each Other's Care with Stan Tatkin
Zach and Laura sit down with Stan Tatkin to discuss his work with couples and his new book In Each Other's Care. Dr. Tatkin shares some constructive frameworks for how to think about your relationship.
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6/20/2023 • 44 minutes, 23 seconds
Ep 272 Intimacy Report Card
Laura starts us off with a song that gets Zach talking about his new musical obsession. Laura shares some significant personal news and asks for your help.
They transition to a discussion on creating a report card for the aspects of your relationship that you want to improve. This episode is chock full of tips and tricks for improving intimacy.
And, Happy 50th Birthday, Zach!
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6/13/2023 • 44 minutes, 7 seconds
Ep 271 Good Enough from Germany
Zach and Laura are in Germany training military chaplains and misinterpret German words. Laura gives an update on her Iron Man. Zach learns a new German phrase that prompts a conversation about what it is to have a good enough marriage.
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6/6/2023 • 36 minutes, 54 seconds
Ep 270 Endurance with Steph Catudal
Zach and Laura chat with Steph Catudal about enduring death and suffering while finding life and joy on the path.
Get Steph's book Everything All at Once wherever books are sold.
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5/30/2023 • 41 minutes, 27 seconds
Ep 269 Coping Skills
Zach is STILL sick. Laura is anticipating a very hectic summer and is looking to prepare with some coping skills.
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5/23/2023 • 26 minutes, 44 seconds
Ep 268 Core Negative Image
Zach is feeling really sick and his wife is not being as helpful as he would hope. Laura confesses that she has no patience for her family when they are sick. Zach had one of the best nights of his life.
They discuss how to break out of your well establish Core Negative Image of your partner to get through conflict and build greater intimacy.
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5/16/2023 • 34 minutes, 11 seconds
Ep 267 Radical Integrity with River Faire
Zach and Laura interview holistic personal transformation guide, River Faire, about alternative ways to find healing and wholeness both personally and in your relationships.
Be sure to check out River's resources, including his new FREE Masterclass, at https://www.riverfaire.com/
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5/9/2023 • 45 minutes, 16 seconds
Ep 266 Processing Time
Zach and Laura catch up after some time away. They consider the importance of being intentional about how you are directing your energy for yourself and your partner.
Laura brings the topic of navigating differences in how couples process their relationship. What do you do when someone needs more time than the other before they can talk about it? They offer some great advice to point you in the right direction.
You still have a few days left to sign up for May's workshop at https://marriagetherapyradio.com/seven-principles-workshop/
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5/2/2023 • 35 minutes, 6 seconds
Ep 265 Space Force, Mothers-In-Law, and Music
Zach and Laura record on the road after a long day of training at Space Force. They discuss validating your partner, stealing friends' cars, and personalized music. They go on to discuss a question from a listener about navigating the relationship with a mother-in-law.
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4/25/2023 • 31 minutes, 56 seconds
Ep 264 Grief with Dr. Shannon Curry
Zach and Laura are joined by clinical and forensic psychologist Dr. Shannon Curry to discuss grief. You can find Dr. Curry at https://currypsychology.com/
Join Zach and Laura for their workshop by visiting https://marriagetherapyradio.com/seven-principles-workshop/
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4/18/2023 • 53 minutes, 55 seconds
Ep 263 30 Soft
Laura has a system for dealing with the boxes from online orders. Zach has set a new all time record for flossing.
If you've heard of 75 Hard you are going to love Zach's idea for 30 Soft. Join the fun by dropping Zach and Laura an email at https://marriagetherapyradio.com/contact-us/
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4/11/2023 • 32 minutes, 46 seconds
Ep 262 Intentional Conversations
Laura is frustrated with the continuing snow in her town but crushing her triathlon training. Zach is leveling up his style with some new clothes.
Zach brings up a topic he often wants to communicate directly to his clients, the importance of 5 distinct intentional conversations.
Check out the upcoming workshops at https://marriagetherapyradio.com/seven-principles-workshop/
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4/4/2023 • 42 minutes, 43 seconds
Ep 261 Behind the Curtain
Laura has a song stuck in her head and is super excited about an upcoming guest. Zach has some questions for Laura offering a glimpse behind the therapist curtain.
Check out the upcoming workshops at https://marriagetherapyradio.com/seven-principles-workshop/
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3/28/2023 • 43 minutes, 53 seconds
Ep 260 Getting Good
Laura needs to process the damage her puppy did to Zach's shoes. Zach has been hounding Laura to participate in a March Madness bracket.
Laura brings some concrete steps to getting good at pretty much anything. They discuss how these steps can improve your relationship.
Check out the upcoming workshops at https://marriagetherapyradio.com/seven-principles-workshop/
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3/21/2023 • 32 minutes, 56 seconds
Ep 259 Repair Attempts
Zach's handyman has practically moved into his house. Laura had her, and her friend's, car stolen. They go on to discuss failed attempts at repairing the relationship.
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3/14/2023 • 35 minutes, 1 second
Ep 258 Money Matters with Matt Kane
Zach and Laura chat with financial advisor Matt Kane about the importance of values, communication, and alignment as a couple navigates their financial lives.
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3/7/2023 • 52 minutes, 24 seconds
Ep 257 Is it okay to say No?
Zach has been working hard to set a new meditation streak. He and Laura chat about some of the lessons he's learning in the process. Laura poses a question about whether or not it's okay to say "no" to your partner. Their answers may surprise you.
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2/28/2023 • 34 minutes, 44 seconds
Ep 256 Rethinking Date Night
Zach & Laura discuss ways to re-think and re-energize dating your partner. Zach has a date night coming up and Laura gives him some tips. They brainstorm some ideas for dates that don't require a lot of time or money. Don't forget about the 7 Principles Workshop March 3-4.
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2/21/2023 • 36 minutes, 42 seconds
Ep 255 Healthy Relationship Myths
Laura is a bit under the weather. Zach isn't so sure about K-Pop. They reflect a bit on valentines day past and present.
Laura brings up the topic of debunking myths about healthy relationships.
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2/14/2023 • 38 minutes, 3 seconds
Ep 254 Make Your Marriage Work with Zach and Laura
Zach is stretching it out. Laura is feeling REALLY good about her husband. They discuss their upcoming workshop and what it takes for couples to make progress (hint: the tools alone are not enough).
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2/7/2023 • 33 minutes, 45 seconds
Ep 253 Porn and Marriage with Candice Horbacz
Zach shares the story of his first date with his wife. Laura tells us about the power of a well-placed compliment. They enjoy catching up before they welcome their guest Candice Horbacz. Candice shares insights into love, marriage, sex, and intimacy gleaned from her years as an adult film star.
Register for our upcoming workshop at https://marriagetherapyradio.com/seven-principles-workshop/
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1/31/2023 • 57 minutes, 4 seconds
Ep 252 Keeping Monogamy Hot with Ashleigh Renard
Zach and Laura (mostly Laura) have a great conversation with Ashleigh Renard about monogamy, swinging, teamwork, and more. You will get some great insights and tips for how to keep your relationship hot. Be sure to check out Ashleigh at https://ashleighrenard.com/ and on Instagram @ashleighrenard
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1/24/2023 • 52 minutes, 42 seconds
Ep 251 Sexual Intimacy with Emily Nagoski Part 2
Zach and Laura continue their conversation with Emily Nagoski. Emily answers some listener questions and shares some wonderful resources to better connect with your partner.
Register for our upcoming workshops at https://marriagetherapyradio.com/seven-principles-workshop/
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1/17/2023 • 36 minutes, 9 seconds
Ep 250 Sexual Intimacy with Emily Nagoski Part 1
Zach and Laura welcome Emily Nagoski to the podcast. Emily shares some of her personal story of building relationships and gives us a sneak peek into her latest book on maintaining sexual intimacy for the long haul.
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1/10/2023 • 35 minutes, 24 seconds
Ep 249 Happy New Year from Marriage Therapy Radio
Zach and Laura discuss their words for 2023 and some of the things their clients find most helpful in therapy.
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1/3/2023 • 26 minutes, 29 seconds
Ep 248 End of the Year Mailbag
Laura is pitching a new cooking show. Zach is on his way home from Virginia.
In this final episode of the year, they answer some listener questions and look forward to 2023.
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12/27/2022 • 43 minutes, 22 seconds
Ep 247 Biblical Marriage with Dr. Jennifer Bird
Zach interviews Biblical scholar (and childhood friend) Dr. Jenffifer Bird https://www.jennifergracebird.com/ about the notion of a "Biblical Marriage".
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12/20/2022 • 45 minutes, 10 seconds
Ep 246 Taking a Break
Zach is sporting a hat that Laura does NOT love. Laura is putting together a pitch-black dinner. They reflect on their enneagram numbers and Laura is pumped about how she and her husband are using an Amazon Echo to connect and communicate.
They go on to discuss one of Zach's top 5 therapeutic interventions that have the greatest impact on his clients.
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12/13/2022 • 43 minutes, 16 seconds
Ep 245 Know Your Type with Ian Cron
Zach and Laura have a great conversation with Ian Cron https://www.ianmorgancron.com/ about the impact that deeply knowing yourself and your partner can have on your relationship. Ian is an expert on the Enneagram and offers insight into the use of this tool to improve all of your relationships.
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12/6/2022 • 48 minutes, 28 seconds
Ep 244 The Marriage Puzzle with A.J. Jacobs
Zach is flying solo this week. He interviews author A.J. Jacobs, about his recent book The Puzzler https://ajjacobs.com/books/the-puzzler/
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11/29/2022 • 39 minutes, 4 seconds
Ep 243 Spiritual Intimacy
Zach was confused by the lack of football. Laura likes the time change and had a bonkers half-marathon. They discuss hernias for a little too long but eventually transition to a great conversation about spiritual intimacy. They batt around sound ideas for developing this intimacy in your relationship in ways that aren't necessarily tied to a specific religious practice.
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11/22/2022 • 33 minutes, 47 seconds
Ep 242 Acrostic Toolbox
Zach and Laura talk about their old girlfriends and old dogs.
Zach brings a few acrostics that have been helpful in both his parenting and work with clients.
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11/15/2022 • 32 minutes, 15 seconds
Ep 241 Transitions to/in Parenting with Beth Goss
After a last-minute meditation session, Zach and Laura interview parenting educator/coach Beth Goss.
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11/8/2022 • 40 minutes, 45 seconds
Ep 240 Empathy
Zach lost, but on a positive note, his shower wall is no longer adorned with dental floss. Laura also upped her oral hygiene game.
Zach ponders what we do when we don't have all the information. It leads to a great discussion about empathy and understanding in your relationship.
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11/1/2022 • 35 minutes, 24 seconds
Ep 239 Sexperiment
Laura gives us some info on water conservation. Zach is anticipating the final week of fantasy football. They provide some significant free air time to a cookie company.
Zach brings a sex and intimacy exercise he learned at a conference by Tina Shermer Sellers tinaschermersellers.com.
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10/25/2022 • 37 minutes, 4 seconds
Ep 238 Jungle Cats Need Love Too
Zach returns from Disneyland. Laura is continuing her training.
Laura brings the discussion of what to do with the need for connection when you are at the end of your rope.
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10/18/2022 • 35 minutes, 11 seconds
Ep 237 The Flip Side
Zach and Laura bring us in on a conflict they have right before recording this episode.
They go on to discuss a concept Zach is playing with regarding exploring the flip side of both the good and bad in the relationship and how it can lead to greater intimacy and connection.
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10/12/2022 • 33 minutes, 16 seconds
Ep 236 How to Listen
Zach and Laura start off the episode with a free concert. Laura wants Jack Johnson to come to her son's class to watch him perform in a bacon costume. They get a lot of feedback on whose oral hygiene habits are grossest.
Laura brings an exercise to work through with Zach that requires presenting and listening to a complaint. Zach finds a way to loop in their beloved producer as well.
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10/4/2022 • 36 minutes, 37 seconds
Ep 235 Press Pause
Zach has an interesting encounter with Kim Kardashian. Laura starts modeling for Gap. They discuss their oral hygiene which oddly leads them into a really great discussion of how to get what you want from your kids and your partner.
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9/27/2022 • 37 minutes, 18 seconds
Ep 234 Catching Up
Laura needs some alone time after a trip to Hawaii to, potentially illegally, spread ashes. Zach completes a marathon - counseling session. His corn dish was not the hit of the Iron Chef party.
They spend some time catching up and sharing what they are learning about themselves and their clients.
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9/20/2022 • 35 minutes
Ep 233 Listener Questions
Laura drops her kid off for the first day of school. Zach's kid got a piercing. They recap the fantasy draft.
They answer some listener questions.
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9/14/2022 • 41 minutes, 59 seconds
Ep 232 Getting it Right
Laura shares her candle and melatonin routine. Zach is treating his potential COVID with ginger ale.
They go on to discuss the characteristics of couples that are firing on all cylinders.
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9/6/2022 • 36 minutes, 40 seconds
Ep 231 Gamify your Relationship
Zach is setting up an MTR fantasy football league. Laura continues her triathlon training.
They discuss how getting what you want out of the relationship can involve giving as much as you can.
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8/30/2022 • 32 minutes, 59 seconds
Ep 230 Forgiveness
Laura is getting a new puppy. Zach shares all of his orange knowledge.
Zach brings the topic of forgiveness. How we think about it, and how we do it.
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8/23/2022 • 34 minutes, 9 seconds
Ep 229 Atomic Habits
Laura got stranded in the middle of a lake. Zach is thirsty for that sweet blue check.
They discuss a book that Laura has been reading in a book club and Zach's wife has been reading for work; Atomic Habits by James Clear. They tease out some key ways habit building can grow your relationship.
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8/16/2022 • 50 minutes, 41 seconds
Ep 228 Men Stepping Up in Community with Larry Hagner
Zach and Laura welcome Larry Hagner, founder of The Dad Edge. They discuss how men can support each other to be better husbands, fathers, and leaders.
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8/9/2022 • 55 minutes, 28 seconds
Ep 227 Rock Paper Scissors
Zach and Laura call out some listeners who have responded recently. Laura is headed on ANOTHER vacation and has to coordinate kid care.
This leads them to discuss what to do when you and your partner want different things. What is the best way to navigate that difference without turning it into a conflict.
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8/2/2022 • 34 minutes, 58 seconds
Ep 226 Shawn and Andrew join Zach and Laura to discuss couple things
Zach and Laura welcome Shawn and Andrew from Couple Things Podcast https://www.couplethingspod.com to discuss conflict, repair, sex, and clothes.
It is a very fun, free-flowing conversation with a ton of insights for our most important relationships.
Sponsor:
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7/26/2022 • 52 minutes, 13 seconds
Ep 225 Mailbag
Zach shares his reaction to a dog jumping on his lap. Laura's son has a riddle for us all. Zach was a bit troubled totally disconnecting from work while on vacation.
They go on to field some listener questions.
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7/19/2022 • 41 minutes, 47 seconds
Ep 224 Keys to Communication
Zach is headed to the Jersey Shore. Laura is off on yet another vacation and learning to swim.
They go on to discuss the keys to good communication.
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7/12/2022 • 36 minutes, 29 seconds
Ep 223 Men Stepping Up with Beth Wylie
Laura is flying solo as Zach is away for the holiday. Laura welcomes Beth Wylie for her second visit to the podcast to discuss the need for men to step up and put in the work in their relationships. Check out Beth's new course: Love over Logistics https://www.bethwylietherapy.com/love-over-logistics
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7/5/2022 • 41 minutes, 49 seconds
Ep 222 Your Conflict Roadmap
Zach and Laura spend a couple of minutes talking about me, their producer. They discuss how weird it is when folks they know listen to the podcast.
They go on to talk about how to be more connected after conflict by understanding your conflict map.
Sponsors:
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6/28/2022 • 40 minutes, 9 seconds
Ep 221 Small Wins
Zach is feeling a bit out of breath post-workout. Laura apparently has bigger shoulders than expected. She tells the story of when she bought her really hot bike.
They reflect on their interview with Terry Real from episode 219 and go on to discuss the importance of small wins in your relationship to set yourselves up for the bigger work.
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6/21/2022 • 39 minutes, 50 seconds
Ep 220 How to Be Married (to Melissa) with Dustin Nickerson
Zach sits down for an interview with Dustin and Melissa Nickerson to discuss comedy, parenting, and marriage. Be sure to grab Dustin's latest book, How to Be Married (to Melissa), and catch him on his upcoming tour.
Sponsor:
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6/14/2022 • 37 minutes, 44 seconds
Ep 219 Terry Real
Zach and Laura chat with Terry Real about his life's work and new book US: Getting Past You and Me to Build a More Loving Relationship. There are many great takeaways that can transform the way you relate with your partner.
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6/7/2022 • 41 minutes, 42 seconds
Ep 218 Rules of a Changing Game
Laura is juicing it up and packing up her van for a foreign trip. Zach is getting fired.
They discuss the importance of having a shared set of rules and boundaries in your relationship and how those rules have to change as the relationship changes.
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5/31/2022 • 35 minutes, 33 seconds
Ep 217 Commitment to Health
Zach and Laura on the health choices they are making for themselves which leads to a reflection from Zach on how partners can join and encourage one another on a health journey.
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5/24/2022 • 32 minutes, 33 seconds
Ep 216 Laura is the Best Partner Ever!
Zach and Laura debrief a recent conflict and how each of them handled it.
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5/17/2022 • 29 minutes, 28 seconds
Ep 215 Anxiously Attached with Jessica Baum
Zach and Laura sit down with psychotherapist and author Jessica Baum. They discuss her journey to becoming a mental health counselor and her new book Anxiously Attached. It's a valuable discussion for both therapists and anyone in relationships.
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5/10/2022 • 51 minutes, 24 seconds
Ep 214 A Thousand Papercuts
Both Zach and Laura have been diving into some new books. Zach drops a dad joke.
They go on to discuss the small breaches of trust that destroy relationships and what you can do about it.
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5/3/2022 • 31 minutes, 28 seconds
Ep 213 Partnering in Life and Money
Zach is flying solo this week. He sits down with Dan & Kay Ockey, Co-Founders of Centsei. They share what it took for them to get on the same financial page early in their marriage and what lead them to develop Centsei. Learn more about Centsei at https://www.centseifinance.com/mtr/ and if you sign up MTR gets a little kickback. It's a win-win.
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4/26/2022 • 41 minutes, 38 seconds
Ep 212 Sexpectations
Laura is upping her mindfulness game. Zach is seeing how different clients draw out different aspects of himself which leads to a great conversation about which roles they each like playing as therapists.
Laura fields a listener question regarding sex drives and frequency.
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4/19/2022 • 38 minutes, 27 seconds
Ep 211 Better Conversations
Laura is not looking forward to meeting and greeting. Zach shows off his auctioneering skills.
They go on to discuss some great tactics to get to better conversations in your relationship.
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4/12/2022 • 40 minutes, 38 seconds
Ep 210 What You Want
Laura fell down the stairs and hurt her foot. Zach doesn't want to talk about Will Smith. Or does he.
Laura says "yes" to her husband but then immediately regrets it ,so she asks him for what she wants and needs. It leads to a great conversation about how to partner in what you each need.
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4/5/2022 • 37 minutes, 1 second
Ep 209 The Empty Nest / Mid-Life Episode
Laura is feeling a bit homesick for a place that is no longer her home because she longs to relax into the feeling of being known. Zach recounts, word for word, exactly how he would become best friends with Richard Sherman.
They go on to discuss the important and often difficult transition of mid-life and the empty nest.
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3/29/2022 • 42 minutes, 47 seconds
Ep 208 Solvable Problems
Laura finished up some sex school so it hitting the road again. Zach cut off all his hair to look less like the father of his youth.
They go on to discuss the importance of finding solutions to the solvable problems in your relationship.
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3/22/2022 • 31 minutes, 54 seconds
Ep 207 The Art of Relationships with Austin Kleon
Zach and Laura sit down with writer, artist, and speaker, Austin Kleon. They discuss the intersection of art and relationship.
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3/15/2022 • 57 minutes, 33 seconds
Ep 206 State of the Union
Zach goes on a rant about Instagram that leads to some solid marriage advice. Laura is saying yes to some of her husband's dreams. They talk about the importance of having intentional conversations about the state of your union.
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3/8/2022 • 38 minutes, 15 seconds
Ep 205 Start with the End in Mind
Zach and Laura each return from vacations in Mexico with their families. They discuss their different approaches to these vacations and how knowing what you want on the outset helps set the stage for achieving what you desire.
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3/1/2022 • 33 minutes, 4 seconds
Ep 204 Marriage Helper with Kimberly Beam Holmes
Zach and Laura interview Kimberly Beam Holmes, CEO of Marriage Helper. Find all the resources she mentioned at marriagehelper.com
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2/22/2022 • 47 minutes, 48 seconds
Ep 203 Mail Bag
Laura's pretty tired. Zach is tired of his daughter.
They open up the mailbag to answer some listener questions.
Zach would love your feedback on these quick 3 questions.
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2/15/2022 • 40 minutes, 40 seconds
Ep 202 The Divine Tedium of Marriage | with Heather Havrilesky
Zach and Laura have a wonderful conversation with Heather Havrilesky about her new book, Foreverland: On the Divine Tedium of Marriage.
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2/8/2022 • 56 minutes, 42 seconds
Ep 201 February is the new January
Zach shows off his singing voice. Laura is relinquishing control as she plans a family getaway. They go on to discuss a number of ways to reframe your approach and reaction to your partner for greater intimacy.
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2/1/2022 • 40 minutes, 9 seconds
Ep 200 Polyvagal Theory & Getting to 200
Laura is hoping to learn to swim this year. Zach brings back his dad jokes. Laura brings the topic of Polyvaga Theory as a way to identify how we feel in a moment, giving us another tool to improve the way we relate to our partner. Help us celebrate 200 episodes by giving us a rating and review on your podcasting app of choice. Also, please share us with a friend to spread the love.
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1/25/2022 • 37 minutes, 50 seconds
Ep 199 Reconnecting with Steve & Lisa Call
Zach and Laura connect with Zach's first clinical supervisor and his wife, Steve & Lisa Call. They discuss the Call's unique approach to inviting couples into a reconnected intimacy through the means of their individual stories.
You can learn more about the Calls and their work at https://www.thereconnectinstitute.com/
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1/20/2022 • 50 minutes, 10 seconds
Ep 198 Consent
Zach's hair is apparently looking good. Laura shows her lack of knowledge of the Marvel Universe. Zach is getting into meditation. They both share some insights they have recently received from clients.
They go on to discuss consent, but probably not in the way you are thinking.
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1/12/2022 • 37 minutes, 7 seconds
Ep 197 New Year's Values and Practices
Laura had a hard Christmas. Zach is leaning into virtual reality. They discuss the fun new games they have been playing lately.
Zach shares how dying repeatedly in his new VR game has taught him some valuable tools for how to engage in conflict and relational failure. He and Laura then share some New Year practices and values.
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1/4/2022 • 38 minutes, 17 seconds
Ep 196 Asexuality with Anthony Bogaert
In this final episode of 2021 Laura interviews leading researcher in asexuality Anthony Bogaert, Ph.D.
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12/28/2021 • 39 minutes, 19 seconds
Ep 195 5ish Ways to Ruin Your Holidays
Laura has been looking back at what a good last few months she has had. Zach has whittled down his social media list to two.
They discuss 5ish ways you can ruin your holidays. There are some great cautionary tales as well as some insight into how to prepare and be proactive in your relationship around the holidays.
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12/21/2021 • 43 minutes, 42 seconds
Ep 194 Marriage and Parenting with Stephen James
Laura is out with a migraine so Zach flies solo to interview his long-time friend Stephen James. Stephen shares some great nuggets of wisdom on both marriage and parenting.
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12/14/2021 • 44 minutes, 47 seconds
Ep 193 Attribution
Both back from separate trips to Disneyland, Laura is getting ready for her 75 Hard challenge. Zach is pacing it with a 45 Medium.
They discuss the transformative power we all possess to reframe our conversations by attributing positive motivations to our partner's words and actions.
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12/8/2021 • 43 minutes, 57 seconds
Ep 192 Age and Power Differences
Prompted from Taylor Swift's latest single (and Laura's love for Jake Gyllenhaal), Zach brings the topic of age differences in romantic relationships. It leads to a great conversation about power and influence.
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11/30/2021 • 32 minutes, 10 seconds
Ep 191 Spreading Hope and Giving Love with Craig Smith.
Zach and Laura welcome Craig Smith to discuss the hope that can come from clarifying your values and taking action to love yourself and others more.
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11/24/2021 • 48 minutes, 59 seconds
Ep 190 Journey Beyond Divorce with Karen McMahon
Zach and Laura jump right into an interview with Karen McMahon from Journey Beyond Divorce,
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11/16/2021 • 46 minutes, 9 seconds
Ep 189 Emotional Banking
After some discussion of Zach's morning routine, Laura brings up a struggle she is seeing in some couples: one or both of them not contributing to the emotional bank account.
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11/9/2021 • 36 minutes, 49 seconds
Ep 188 Relational Life Therapy with Shane Birkel.
Zach and Laura get a chance to discuss different couple therapy models with Shane Birkel of The Couple Therapist Couch podcast.
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11/2/2021 • 56 minutes, 13 seconds
Ep 187 Simple Pleasures
Zach is fretting about the sizes of circles. Laura is sniffing strangers in parks. This leads to a great discussion and exercise about finding simple pleasures in life and allowing those to ground you.
They also circle back to a previous episode where they hashed out some conflict.
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10/27/2021 • 29 minutes, 52 seconds
Ep 186 Being on the Same Team with Kristine Lilly
Zach talks with Kristine Lilly, a USWNT legend, about what it means to be part of a team and also how to balance work and play both on the field and in a relationship. They also discuss the universal truth of how it really is the little things that ultimately yield big results.
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10/19/2021 • 49 minutes, 10 seconds
Ep 185 Zach & Laura Hash it Out
Laura brings a grievance she has with Zach to work it out in real-time. The tension is real and leads to a genuine conversation that displays both skill and care in resolving the conflict.
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10/12/2021 • 42 minutes, 46 seconds
Ep 184 You Go, Girl
Zach and Laura wish their very first listener a happy birthday. Laura is getting her wardrobe together.
They go on to discuss the trend Laura is seeing in her practice of women facing identity crisis with boldness and strength.
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10/5/2021 • 35 minutes, 36 seconds
Ep 183 Building Trust
Laura is taking into a shoe on an uncomfortably long girl's weekend while looking for age-appropriate clothes. Zach is using all his human resources.
They go on to discuss the 5 pillars of building trust in your relationship.
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9/28/2021 • 44 minutes, 17 seconds
Ep 182 Working Through Conflict | with Jayson Gaddis
Zach and Laura interview Jayson Gaddis, founder of The Relationship School and author of Getting to Zero: How to Work Through Conflict in Your High-Stakes Relationships. The conversation provides some new frameworks to think about the way you approach conflict in your relationship.
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9/21/2021 • 52 minutes, 16 seconds
Ep 181 Advance Skydiving Skills
Zach's wife is a little concerned that his brain doesn't work. He and Laura extend the skydiving conflict metaphor from episode 2 with some helpful insight into achieving intimacy.
Join them live Oct 23-24 for The Gottman Institute's Art and Science of Love.
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9/14/2021 • 33 minutes, 26 seconds
Ep 180 Strong-Willed Tiny Humans | with Danielle Bettmann
Zach and Laura are recording from the same house, but different rooms as they interview Danielle Bettmann. Danielle is a parenting coach for those of us with "strong-willed small humans". She shares how she got into her work and some wonderful resources for anyone doing the difficult and important work of parenting. You can find Danielle at Parenting Wholeheartedly
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9/7/2021 • 41 minutes, 48 seconds
Ep 179 Types of Couples
Laura is figuring out carpooling. Zach is taking a break from exercise.
They discuss the different types of couples that come to therapy.
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8/31/2021 • 36 minutes, 32 seconds
Ep 178 A.R.E. you there for your partner?
Laura helps Zach reminisce about his favorite bar that closed down a few years ago. Laura is thrilled about her sex ed.
Laura brings the topic of Emotionally Focused Therapy to discuss if you ARE there for your partner.
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8/24/2021 • 38 minutes, 46 seconds
Ep 177 Agreements
Zach is seeing his social media from a whole new perspective. Laura completed an epic backpacking trip. They go on to discuss the importance of shared agreements in your marriage.
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8/17/2021 • 34 minutes, 20 seconds
Ep 176 Mailbag
After kicking it off with a couple of dad jokes, Zach and Laura get right into some questions from listeners.
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8/10/2021 • 43 minutes, 24 seconds
Ep175 David Wilcox
Zach and Laura have a wonderful interview with singer/songwriter David Wilcox. He shares what he has learned about life, love, and marriage through his journey of self-discovery and artistry.
This is a different format from the usual MTR episode, and well worth a listen.
Find Zach's wife's curated David Wilcox playlist on the MTR Instagram
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8/3/2021 • 45 minutes, 47 seconds
Ep 174 A Shared Story
Zach vows not to get Laura anything for her birthday, but he might end up getting her a chessboard. Operation "Blue Check" continues in earnest. To help out, be sure to follow @marriagetherapyradio
They discuss how to handle conflict when you can't agree on what the story even is.
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7/27/2021 • 39 minutes, 40 seconds
Ep 173 This Workshop Won't Work
Zach is moving his schedule around so he can be at his kid's soccer games. Laura is gearing up for her triathlon. They discuss the need for couples to do the work when seeking help for their relationship. They talk about the Art & Science of Love, a workshop based on over 40 years of research from The Gottman Institute. Zach and Laura will be the instructors for the October event.
To register go to https://www.gottman.com/mtr.
Don't forget to use the discount code mentioned in the episode.
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7/20/2021 • 35 minutes, 25 seconds
Ep 172 Context > Content
Laura is jumping into her local fitness scene with both feet and possibly into sex therapy with both hands. Zach is exercising his social media skills. They go on to discuss the impact of words; what is said, how it's said, and how it's heard, on your relationship.
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7/13/2021 • 35 minutes, 48 seconds
Ep 171 Attraction to Coworker
Project "Blue Checkmark" is well underway. Laura just got back from a camping trip and Zach is thinking about watching a Netflix show that is sweeping the nation. They go on to discuss a listener question regarding their attraction to a coworker.
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7/6/2021 • 40 minutes, 8 seconds
Ep 170 Trust the Process
Laura is back in school. Zach is learning about how social media works. They discuss the process of therapy and the importance of being the author of your own story.
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6/29/2021 • 34 minutes, 20 seconds
Ep 169 How to Not Die Alone | with Logan Ury
Zach and Laura welcome Logan Ury to the podcast (for the second time, kind of) to share her data driven insights into finding, growing, and keeping love. You will also get to hear what kind of museum she would open.
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6/22/2021 • 49 minutes, 19 seconds
Ep 168 Repair vs. Perfection
Zach is in sync with Chicago while in Charlotte. Laura is losing sleep thinking about her clients. In his jetlagged state, Zach shares how a mistake in a text message led to a great insight about repairing a rupture in your relationship.
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6/15/2021 • 26 minutes, 35 seconds
Ep 167 Life Themes
Zach and Laura saw each other in person after nearly 2 years and it was less eventful than you would think. Laura shares some thoughts on a book about life themes.
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6/8/2021 • 30 minutes, 21 seconds
Ep 166 "Pride & Prejudice" with Candice Czubernat
Zach and Laura talk with Candice Czbubernat about topics and issues relevant to LGBTQ relationships. It's a wide-ranging interview with more than a few surprises. Also, Zach doesn't throw rocks. Learn more about Candice at thechristiancloset.com
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6/1/2021 • 42 minutes, 51 seconds
Ep 165 The Magic Relationship Ratio
Zach is feeling really good about some stuff in life. Laura is reminded about how the good things in life fill our account, which leads to their discussion of the Gottman Magic Relationship Ratio.
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5/25/2021 • 30 minutes, 30 seconds
Ep 164 The Empowered Wife - With Laura Doyle
After confirming that they would survive the interview, Zach and Laura learn about Laura Doyle and her book, The Empowered Wife.
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5/19/2021 • 43 minutes, 58 seconds
Ep 163 Finding Life Balance
Laura is needing some self-care. Zach doesn't want any more friends. They discuss a listener question about life balance and also discuss some current client concerns.
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5/11/2021 • 36 minutes, 12 seconds
Ep 162 Quadrants
Zach has a microphone puppet. Laura wants to get a different kind of puppet. They go on to discuss the power of using quadrants to identify where you are and where you want to be.
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5/4/2021 • 33 minutes, 32 seconds
Ep 161 WandaVision Wisdom
Zach and Laura sit down with Screen Crush's Ryan Arey to discuss the relationship wisdom of WandaVision and other SciFi superheros.
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4/27/2021 • 34 minutes, 51 seconds
Ep 160 Start Stop Continue
Zach is sitting in the dark. Laura has a burning throat. Laura brings a skill-building topic that is sure to help any relationship.
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4/21/2021 • 29 minutes, 13 seconds
Ep 159 The 80/80 Marriage
Zach and Laura interview Nate and Kaley Klemp about their new book The 80/80 Marriage.
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4/13/2021 • 41 minutes, 3 seconds
Ep 158 Emotional Intelligence Part 2
Laura's kid is in the basement and her husband is on vacation. Zach is ramping up for college visits. They proceed to talk about Part 2 of Emotional Intelligence. Grab a pen and paper because you will want to ATTUNE to this conversation.
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4/6/2021 • 39 minutes
Ep 157 Emotional Intelligence Part 1
Laura is exhausted after a whirlwind road trip. Zack is continuing his LEGO builds. They go on to have a great discussion on the importance of emotional intelligence and offer some great tips on how to grow it.
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3/30/2021 • 35 minutes, 58 seconds
Ep 156 Dumb Dads
Zach is flying solo this week and gets to interview Kevin and Evan from The Dumb Dads Podcast, two stay-at-home dads doing the best they can.
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3/23/2021 • 46 minutes, 54 seconds
Ep 155 Mailbag
Zach is watching Stranger Things while building even stranger things. Laura got outplayed by her husband.
They pick a couple of listener letters to respond to on the podcast. Although the questions are specific to the listener, their insights can be helpful for any relationship.
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3/16/2021 • 34 minutes, 22 seconds
Ep 154 Partner in Pain
Laura is flying solo today. She shares a story of how you can show up for your partner when they are in pain.
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3/10/2021 • 22 minutes, 4 seconds
Ep 153 Gratitude
Zach reflex on his trip to Mexico. It leads to a great conversation on gratitude, but probably not in the way you would think.
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3/3/2021 • 32 minutes, 41 seconds
Ep 152 Happy with Baby with Catherine O'Brien
Laura is flying solo this week as Zach is away. She gets to interview Catherine O'Brien author of Happy with Baby about ways to protect the relationship when you add a baby to the mix.
Learn more about Catherin at her website Happy with Baby.
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2/23/2021 • 32 minutes, 19 seconds
Ep 151 Let's Talk about Valentine's Day
Zach kicks us off with some jokes. Laura is the gift-giving master. This leads them into a discussion about the importance of Valentine's Day and what it represents.
We know, Valentine's Day is over, and this is a valuable discussion any day of the year.
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2/16/2021 • 33 minutes, 59 seconds
Ep 150 Enduring Vulnerabilities
Zach is loving Marriage Therapy Radio. Laura cashed in on Gamestop. They go on to discuss how the vulnerabilities that get triggered in our relationships can be understood and navigated.
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2/9/2021 • 34 minutes, 12 seconds
Ep 149 10 Rules of Good Communication
Laura is prepping for some glamping. Zach hired an actor to play himself. They go on to discuss Dan Wile's 10 Rules of Good Communication from his book After the Honeymoon: How Conflict Can Improve your Relationship. Communication Rule 1. Make “I” Statements not “You” Statements.
Communication Rule 2: Don’t Say “Always” or “Never”
Communication Rule 3: Don’t interrupt your partner
Communication Rule 4: Paraphrase what your partner just said
Communication Rule 5: Don’t Mind-Read
Communication Rule 6: Stick to One Complaint
Communication Rule 7: Don’t Dig Up Old Grievances
Communication Rule 8: Don’t Get Sidetracked Arguing Over Irrelevant Details
Communication Rule 9: Don’t Label, Name-Call, Use Sarcasm, or Threaten to End the Relationship
Communication Rule 10: Don’t Dump Out Stored-Up Complaints
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2/2/2021 • 46 minutes, 40 seconds
Ep 148 Anxiety and Depression
Zach details his Peleton "buying" experience. Laura is looking forward to a Spring Break RV trip. They go on to discuss how to deal with anxiety and depression as it comes up in your self and your partner.
If you are looking for one on one help check out our sponsor Better Help Sign up for our February Breakfast Club.
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1/26/2021 • 41 minutes, 6 seconds
Ep 147 Making it Through the Flooding
Zach really wanted to sleep in, but Laura wants to get everything done early. Zach just celebrated 27 years of watching The American President, and they both are feeling a bit hungry. They go on to discuss how to manage yourself and your relationship when you get flooded.
If you are looking for one on one help check out our sponsor Better Help Sign up for our February Breakfast Club. Transform your marriage in the comfort of your own home with our online course Marriage in Motion.
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1/19/2021 • 43 minutes, 41 seconds
Ep 146 Laura's Favorite Things
Laura is flying solo today. She wanted to share some of her favorite things and how they have benefited her marriage.
If you're needing personal help with your marriage, you can connect with a counselor through our sponsor Better Help.
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1/13/2021 • 38 minutes
Ep 145 Navigating Different Communication Styles
Zach is almost a winner. Laura can't sit down. They discuss how to navigate differences in how you communicate in your relationship.
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1/7/2021 • 31 minutes, 49 seconds
Ep 144 Supporting Habits and Rituals
Zach updates us on his fantasy football success and bemoans 1-star reviews. Laura is getting her health groove on. This leads to a discussion of how to support new habits and rituals in your relationship.
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12/22/2020 • 35 minutes, 22 seconds
Ep 143 Add SPARK to your Marriage in 48 Hours
Zach and Laura discuss how many folks are looking for therapy these days. Laura's practice is full, but Zach doesn't believe in full. Zach has some fantasy football scores to settle. They go on to discuss how to put SPARK in your marriage in 48 hours.
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12/16/2020 • 41 minutes, 59 seconds
Ep 142 Three Tools for an Intentional Relationship
Zach applies for a game show. Laura is opening a home gym and going BIG on Christmas. They discuss three tools that can help you create an intentional relationship.
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12/8/2020 • 38 minutes, 6 seconds
Ep 141 Three Reasons Your Conversations Become Conflicts
Zach and Laura reflect on the strangeness of Thanksgiving in the midst of a pandemic. They go on to discuss Zach's theory that knowing the What, Why, and Who when beginning a conversation can prevent you from falling into conflict.
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12/2/2020 • 35 minutes
Ep 140 Sex: Brakes & Gas
Zach is working out a new joke. He and Laura both agree that they would like to be a lumberjack and lumberjill, respectively. They go on to discuss how understanding your most fulfilling and least fulfilling sexual experiences can lead to a wonderful sex life.
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11/26/2020 • 35 minutes, 52 seconds
Ep 139 The Pendulum Swing
Zach and Laura discuss the pendulum swings we take in relationships.
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11/17/2020 • 32 minutes, 32 seconds
Ep 138 Listener Questions
Laura is dealing with a full load and tiny balls. Zach forgot how to solve a Rubik's Cube. They go on to address two listener questions and provide a TON of practical tips for improving your relationship.
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11/10/2020 • 35 minutes, 22 seconds
Ep 137 Do You Want to Build a Snowman?
Laura is flying solo today and interviews Hyrum Osmond, Disney animator. They discuss the path to his dream job and the impact on his relationship. Be sure to check out his #warmhugscampaign on Instagram
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11/4/2020 • 42 minutes, 41 seconds
Ep 136 The In-Laws
Laura is not liking her soup. Zach is not liking Laura's house or the person who administered his COVID test. But, rest assured, he's negative. They discuss a listener question regarding the in-laws.
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10/20/2020 • 32 minutes, 28 seconds
Ep 135 Anger Management
Laura is headed on what sounds like a pretty sweet vacation. Zach circles back on the conflict he was in with his wife last week. Laura's husband is getting some internet traffic. They go on to answer a listener question from Brazil about managing anger in your relationship.
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10/13/2020 • 30 minutes, 22 seconds
Ep 134 Disrupting the Pattern
Both Zach and Laura talk about the importance of walks for each of them personally and in their therapy. They go on to discuss some ways of disrupting the established patterns of conflict in your relationship.
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10/6/2020 • 32 minutes, 40 seconds
Ep 133 The Pilot Episode
Zach and Laura welcome Ed Rush, an author, speaker, and advisor, to discuss how his experiences as a decorated Marine fighter pilot translate to his relationship with his wife.
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9/29/2020 • 44 minutes, 18 seconds
Ep 132 Three Practices to Get You Through the Pandemic
Laura finds the wrong Zach on Instagram. Zach expresses an opinion on a Netflix movie and gets some push-back from the social square. They go on to discuss how couples can not just get through the pandemic but really grow their relationship buy bridging back 3 practices from early in their courtship.
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9/22/2020 • 34 minutes, 7 seconds
Ep 131 Hurt Feelings
Laura is a superhuman with self-healing powers. Zach is reminded of the importance of kindness. They go on to discuss a listener's question regarding what to do with hurt feelings when feel your partner has not been kind.
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9/15/2020 • 36 minutes, 57 seconds
Ep 130 After the Fight
The kids are headed back to school. Zach is excited to get back in therapy. This leads to a discussion about the frequency of therapy and how often is helpful. Laura gives an update on her biking injury. They go on to discuss a listener's question about what to do after conflict.
If your needing support, reach out to our sponsor Better Help.
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9/8/2020 • 33 minutes, 13 seconds
Ep 129 Interrogation vs Invitation
Laura is nursing some wounds after a bike accident. Zach has a finger out of whack. This leads them into a discussion of attractive doctors they have had over the years. They go on to discuss the way we approach questions to our partner. Is it an investigation or an invitation.
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9/1/2020 • 34 minutes, 46 seconds
Ep 128 Pause and Attribute
Zach is now a hand model and cracking afternoon beers. Laura is business up top and casual on bottom. They discuss different strategies for disrupting the negative patterns of communication in your relationship.
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8/25/2020 • 35 minutes, 16 seconds
Ep 127 Listener Question on Leadership
Laura is rocking her trailer skills, even with the Austin Powers' style turns. Zach is thinking about yoga and stepping up his health game. They then address a listener's question about leadership in their relationship.
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8/18/2020 • 35 minutes, 16 seconds
Ep 126 Too Much and Not Enough
Laura has a trailer in her front yard. Zach's t-shirts are fitting better. They discuss what is sometimes the core fear for a man and a woman.
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8/11/2020 • 35 minutes, 16 seconds
Ep 125 The Enneagram with Ni'coel Stark
Recorded while Laura was on the road, Zach is joined by Ni'coel Stark to discuss the Enneagram. Ni'coel is a corporate intelligence strategist who brings a great deal of experience into the value and use of the Enneagram. Listeners who are unfamiliar with the Enneagram will find reason to explore this ancient tool and folks who are already Enneagram fans will find fresh insights.
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8/4/2020 • 47 minutes, 8 seconds
Ep 124 Insta Inspiration
Laura is back from her travels and COVID has hit close to home. She is celebrating a birthday. Zach is experimenting with glass blowing, kind of, and has mastered the Rubic's Cube. They go on to discuss if there is anything to gain from inspirational Instagram quotes.
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7/28/2020 • 33 minutes, 53 seconds
Ep 123 Getting it Right vs Being Right
Zach and Laura discuss some of their favorite clients. Laura tries to convince you to listen to a different podcast. They then discuss the importance of valuing the relationship over being "right" in any disagreement.
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7/22/2020 • 22 minutes, 40 seconds
Ep 122 The Hamilton Question
Zach and Laura have to work out their own communication conflicts. Laura is headed out on a great adventure and Zach is welcoming back his kids. They throw out a Hamilton challenge, and go on to discuss a listener question about building trust after an affair.
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7/15/2020 • 30 minutes, 34 seconds
Ep 121 Love in the Time of the Coronavirus
With Laura out gallivanting around the Northwest in her RV Zach is sharing a recording of a talk he did for ParentMap It's full of valuable takeaways. You might want to have a notebook handy for this one.
See the full talk on Facebook
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7/8/2020 • 23 minutes, 51 seconds
Ep 120 Good Defenses
Laura controls the weather and gets into a great intense conversation with her husband about switching household roles. Zach is pretty certain he is not interested in that for him and his wife. Zach is getting a week without his kids. Laura doesn't share her sex dream. They go on to have a great conversation about defensiveness.
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7/1/2020 • 31 minutes, 53 seconds
Ep 119 The Truth About Marriage with Roger Nygard
Zach and Laura hop straight into a great conversation with Roger Nygard, filmmaker, author, and producer, about his latest project, The Truth About Marriage. They discuss the insights he gained while researching and creating this film and book companion.
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6/23/2020 • 48 minutes, 41 seconds
Ep 118 Speaking in Code
Zach is mayor of grouchy town but he solved a Rubik's Cube. Laura shares her creative spellings. They go on to discuss the importance of having code language in your relationship.
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6/16/2020 • 30 minutes, 59 seconds
Ep 117 Tapping into Your Inner Adult
Laura is obsessed with Magnificent Sex. Zach is starting some stuff and counting cats. They go on to discuss the work of Terry Real and the impact it has in their own lives and the lives of their clients.
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6/11/2020 • 34 minutes, 33 seconds
Ep 116 Listener Question on Pot
Zach and Laura discuss the odd ending of last week's show. Zach is celebrating over 1 million views on the Vanity Fair videos. They field a call from a listener about different perspectives on marijuana use.
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6/2/2020 • 31 minutes, 9 seconds
Ep 115 Selfish or Self-Care
Zach is super proud of his kids. Laura shares about some of the Vanity Fair video that ended up on the cutting room floor. They go on to discuss the difference between selfishness and self-care.
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5/28/2020 • 27 minutes, 43 seconds
Ep114 Self Love with Jonathon Aslay
Zach finally put the doors on his shed.Both he and Laura showered today, but for different reasons. They move on to discuss self love and self care with mid-life dating and relationship coach, Jonathan Aslay.
If you're looking for help try Better Help today by visiting https://trybetterhelp.com/mtr
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5/19/2020 • 49 minutes, 26 seconds
Ep 113 Dream, Discuss, Decide
Laura is stocking up on bikes. Zach is spotting pigs in his neighborhood. They discuss what it looks like to bring on a new client. They go on to discuss the importance of having conversations on three levels: dreaming, discussing, and deciding.
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5/12/2020 • 39 minutes, 56 seconds
Ep 112 Better Sex Through Mindfulness | with Dr. Lori Brotto
Zach and Laura discuss a recent video they created with Vanity Fair. Check it out, it's a really fun look at relationships in Disney films. They then welcome a guest, Dr. Lori Brotto. They discuss Dr. Brotto's latest book, Better Sex Through Mindfulness: How Women Can Cultivate Desire and other related topics.
If you're looking for help try Better Help today by visiting https://trybetterhelp.com/mtr
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5/5/2020 • 42 minutes, 47 seconds
Ep 111 What's your Next
Zach opens up about some of his struggles in this time and the importance of getting his own therapy. Laura joins him in discussing the importance of having purpose and a next.
If your "next" is to seek out a therapist. Try Better Help by visiting (sponsored) https:// trybetterhelp.com/mtr
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4/29/2020 • 29 minutes, 42 seconds
Ep 110 Stop Being so Helpful
Zach is building stuff around the house. Laura wants him to drive down and build her some planter boxes while she reads. They then address a listeners question about what to do about wanting to be helpful in every situation.
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4/21/2020 • 34 minutes, 58 seconds
Ep 109 Maybe it's Grief
After a couple dad jokes, Zach and Laura discuss a bit how they are dealing with working out while quarantined. They talk about order, grief, relationship roles and finding peace in this chaotic time.
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4/14/2020 • 33 minutes, 27 seconds
Ep 108 Listener Questions
Zach and Laura discuss what Beyonce, Goonies, Tiger King, and hot tubs have in common. They go on to address a number of listener questions that have piled up in the last few weeks.
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4/8/2020 • 38 minutes, 12 seconds
Ep 107 Stir Crazy
Zach is a bit grumpy. Laura is feeling really positive. Zach has a movie recommendation and the two of them contemplate who might want to be a guest on upcoming episodes. They go on to discuss the new options for couples looking for outside help for their relationships and end with some tips for creating positive change in this uncertain time. Be sure to stick through to the end to hear Laura lose her mind.
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3/31/2020 • 41 minutes, 29 seconds
Ep 106 Birdhouse for your Soul
Laura's kid starts us off with some solid dad jokes. She and Zach go on to discuss self care and creating sacred spaces for yourself and for your relationship.
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3/24/2020 • 30 minutes, 58 seconds
Ep105 The Inevitable Podcast about Relationships in the Age of the Zombie Apocalypse
Recorded almost a week ago, Zach and Laura discuss the Coronavirus, OJ, oysters, and turning toward your partner. They also have a generous offer for folks looking to improve their marriage while everything is shut down.
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3/17/2020 • 36 minutes, 39 seconds
Ep 104 Fight, Flight, or Freeze
Zach and Laura touch base real quick on the Coronavirus. Laura has a long run she's preparing for. They announce some upcoming live virtual training for couples. A listener question regarding elevated heart rate prompts them to talk a bit more in depth about fight, flight, or freeze.
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3/10/2020 • 27 minutes, 17 seconds
Ep 103 Asking for What you Want
Zach is worn out from fighting with a woman (in his martial arts class). Laura is basking in the late winter sun. They discuss common dreams and particularly a dream Zach had about losing his teeth. Laura brings a listener's question about how to deal with a spouse that does not want to hear your desires or wishes for their relationship.
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3/3/2020 • 32 minutes, 48 seconds
Ep 102 - How to Ruin Your Marriage
Laura is heading to Hawaii and a little annoyed that her husband will be golfing every day. Zach is headed to Mexico and will be seeing his private magician again. They go on to discuss some of the things that can lead to a bad marriage.
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2/25/2020 • 35 minutes, 7 seconds
Ep 101 - Keeping the Relationship Strong When You are Hustling at Work
Zach is away with his family so Laura is sharing a recording of a keynote she recently gave to door-to-door salespeople. These folks are highly commited to succeding at work, but wanted some help kowning how to keep thier relationshps at home strong.
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2/19/2020 • 29 minutes, 30 seconds
Ep 100 - We Celebrate 100 Episodes
Zach just finished his taxes, has already spent his refund and is headed on vacation. Laura is working on her taxes... from a few years ago. Together they celebrate some of the milestones of Marriage Therapy Radio. Zach shares about completing his latest project, Marriage Therapy Journal.
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2/12/2020 • 33 minutes, 42 seconds
Ep 99 - Date Night with Tyler Turk
Laura kicks us off with a dad joke. She and Zach go on to discuss desire and creating desire in your partner. This leads to the importance of date nights and intentional time set aside for the two of you.
They welcome Tyler Turk, CEO of Crated with Love. Tyler shares some compelling research results on the importance of date nights as well as what he has found to be the necessary ingredients of a date night that supports the goal of greater intimacy and connection.
Check out Crated with Love.
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2/4/2020 • 39 minutes, 23 seconds
Ep 98 - ADHD with Dr. Ari Tuckman
Zach is sporting a 14 year old girl's headband. Laura shares about caring for aging parents. With guest Dr. Ari Tuckman, they go on to discuss the impacts of ADHD on your relationship
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1/28/2020 • 43 minutes, 24 seconds
Ep 97 - Great Questions
Zach and Laura discuss their shower and workout schedules. Let's just say, one of them likes to "stew". Zach is in the home stretch of a new project. They go on to discuss the power of a good question in your relationship.
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1/22/2020 • 35 minutes, 29 seconds
Ep 96 - Parenting Teen Girls
Zach's 17 and 13 year old daughters join him for this week's podcast. They discuss what it's like to be a teen today and how parents can better connect and encourage them.
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1/14/2020 • 43 minutes, 47 seconds
Ep 95 - Try it This Way
Zach and Laura recount their respective New Year's Eve celebrations. Zach has a couple gripes and Laura isn't quite sure about science. They go on to discuss a powerful practice that could reshape the way you relate with your partner. Putting into practice what there share in this episode would be a wonderful way to kick off the new year in a positive direction.
Ladies: Be sure to sign up for Laura's Experiment while you still can.
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1/3/2020 • 35 minutes, 14 seconds
Ep 94 - Holiday Grab Bag
Laura is dressed like an elf -sorry this is not a visual medium-. Zach took a tumble. Vasectomy gets discussed at length. Laura introduces a cool experiment for wives to help improve their marriage. They go on to discuss death and sex. They really cover a lot on this holiday grab bag.
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12/24/2019 • 30 minutes, 59 seconds
Ep 93 - Laura's Holiday Blues
Laura discloses that she has been feeling a bit down with the holidays and her current move. She and Zach discuss a bit of what might be behind that which leads them to a broader topic of figuring out ways to improve your relationship. It's a bit more organic than some episodes, but you will be left with some great insight into your life and relationships.
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12/10/2019 • 28 minutes, 5 seconds
Ep 92 - Man's Burden
What does "Your Face" have to do with a playful disagreement? Zach shares his strategies. He and Laura also talk about their relationships with you, the listeners. They go on to discuss the unique burdens men carry in their relationships.
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12/3/2019 • 32 minutes, 16 seconds
Ep 91 - Sharing the Load of the Relationship
Laura is jogging from her son's house to school and back twice a day. That's about the same about of jogging Zach has done in the last year. They go on to discuss what happens in a relationship when one partner has carried the primary load of the relationship and what is now required when they want that to change.
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11/20/2019 • 28 minutes, 52 seconds
Ep 90 - Couples that Work Together
Zach just got out of therapy and is having all the feels. Laura's thinking about starting her own therapy as well. They discuss the complexities of having a close friendship as well as a business relationship which leads to the unique issues addressed by couples that work together. The importance of boundaries and roles is advice any couple will find helpful.
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11/7/2019 • 29 minutes, 6 seconds
Ep 89 - Considering Relational Life Therapy
Zach and Laura discuss Halloween and the MANY parties that accompany. Zach thinks Laura would be a VSCO girl. Zach relays an eavesdropped conversation of first encounters. They move on to discuss Zach's recent therapeutic training.
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10/30/2019 • 34 minutes, 10 seconds
Ep 88 - Coupling with Purpose
Zach has limited his beverage choices. Laura is getting settled in her new town. After some interviews they reconnect and discuss the what it is to have a purpose as a couple.
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10/23/2019 • 29 minutes, 3 seconds
Ep 87 - Addiction Recovery with Dr. Bob Navarra
Zach & Laura sit down for a conversation with Dr. Robert Navarra. Bob is a Certified Gottman Therapist, Master Trainer, Consultant, Speaker, and Master Addiction Counselor. His research has surfaced new ways to understand the role of relationships in the recovery process.
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10/15/2019 • 48 minutes, 59 seconds
Ep 86 - Anatomy of Marriage
Zach and Laura get to team up with Melanie and Seth of the Anatomy of Marriage Podcast.
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10/2/2019 • 1 hour, 5 seconds
Ep 85 - Playing with Your Partner
Zach is back to coaching soccer, but this time for boys. Laura is planning some upcoming trips and is a bit nervous about her largest speaking gig coming up. They go on to discuss the importance of play with your partner.
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9/24/2019 • 31 minutes, 43 seconds
Ep 84 - Blended Families with Beth Wylie
Zach and Laura have a great conversation with Beth Wylie. Beth is a long time friend who is also an expert on blended families.
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9/17/2019 • 39 minutes, 30 seconds
Ep 83 - The Importance of Predictability
Zach and Laura quickly catch up on all that has been going on in their lives the last month or so. Laura details upcoming topics. They go on to discuss the importance of predictability in your relationship.
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9/10/2019 • 35 minutes, 15 seconds
Ep 82 - We've Had This Fight Before | An interview with Dr. Claudia Grauf-Grounds
Zach interviews Dr. Claudia Grauf-Grounds, author of We've Had This Fight Before. You may recognize that book title from Zach's previous "review" of the book. He revisits this review and more in this informative episode that will be helpful for anyone who has ever had an argument with your partner.
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8/27/2019 • 35 minutes, 1 second
Ep 81 - Let's Talk Relationships
Laura is away in Europe so we get to hear a replay of a live radio interview with Zach this week. He was a guest on Let's Talk Relationships. They interview him about his book The Relationship Alphabet.
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8/22/2019 • 30 minutes, 22 seconds
Ep 80 - The 4 Horsemen with Art of Charm
Laura is away in Europe for vacation so while she is away we will be playing a couple of solo shows. This first one is a rebroadcast of The Art of Charm podcast. They interview Laura on the The Four Horsemen: Criticism, Contempt, Defensiveness, and Stonewalling.
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8/13/2019 • 55 minutes, 56 seconds
Ep 79 Happy Endings
Zach shares why root canals are fantastic. Laura isn't buying it, but strangely offers to clean Zach's teeth. A major transition in Laura's life sparks a great conversation about ending therapy.
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8/6/2019 • 31 minutes, 14 seconds
Ep 78 Book Recommendations
Zach is wearing a hoodie in July. Laura is getting her investing on. They go on to share what they are currently reading and offer some book recommendations.
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7/30/2019 • 31 minutes, 21 seconds
Ep 77 Hot Cheetos - Worth Fighting For?
Laura brags about her golf game. Zach shares about his unnamed friend with good fashion and a boat. They go on to discuss a listener question regarding a fight about Hot Cheetos.
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7/23/2019 • 31 minutes, 32 seconds
Ep 76 Infidelity - The Involved Partner
Zach gets Laura up to speed on the World Cup. Laura is dropping some Lbs, but not for a good reason. They go on to address the involved partner of an affair.
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7/18/2019 • 34 minutes, 21 seconds
Ep 75 Premarital Therapy - Why Bother
Laura had a nice stay-cation. Zach isn't quite sure where is youngest daughter is. They go on to discuss is premarital therapy is worth it and what it's really for.
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7/9/2019 • 24 minutes, 1 second
Ep 74 How to Take a Break.
Zach shares a bit of his experience helping facilitate The Art and Science of Love workshop for The Gottman Institute. Laura gets Zach to commit to a future webinar. They go on to share the signs that you are flooded when in conflict and what to do about it.
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7/2/2019 • 38 minutes, 43 seconds
Ep 73 Reunions and Parting
Zach and Laura don't see eye to eye on dog park etiquette. They discuss an outdoor adventure for couples and awkward proposals. They then provide some really great practical advise for how to set aside time each day to connect with your partner.
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6/25/2019 • 31 minutes, 25 seconds
Ep72 Do You Validate?
Zach and Laura reflect on the future (weird, I know). They go on to talk about he importance of validating feelings.
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6/18/2019 • 26 minutes, 13 seconds
Ep71 How to say Yes and No at the same time
Laura had to kick her husband out (don't worry it was just out of the studio so she could record.) Zach extols the power of checking off your to do list. Dad joke throw downs are happening on social media. They go on to share the potential benefits of letting your "yes" be "no" and your "no" be "yes". Trust me, it will make sense when you hear it.
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6/11/2019 • 25 minutes, 11 seconds
Ep 70 Be an Action Taker in Your Marriage
Zach and Laura discuss their Memorial Day Weekend getaways. Both got out into nature with their families. They look forward to their workshop in June and throwing some axes. They go on to discuss what it takes to make changes in your relationship.
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6/4/2019 • 29 minutes, 57 seconds
Ep 69 Interview with Sex Therapist Tina Schermer Sellers, PhD
Zach and Laura discuss what chaffed nipples, stylish hair, and sexy times have in common. They go on to have an in depth interview with sex therapist Tina Schermer Sellers, PhD.
This episode is sponsored by Uberlube.
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5/28/2019 • 42 minutes, 31 seconds
Ep 68 Listener Question
Laura is taking care of her gut. Zach is loving individual therapy. We get a great dad joke from listener Dustin's son. They go on to discuss a question from a listener.
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5/21/2019 • 31 minutes, 46 seconds
Ep 67 Social Media Breakup
Laura gets a truck. Zach grills Laura on her dog buying process. Zach is growing out his hair and cleaning up his house. They go on to discuss how to manage your social media profiles when there is a breakup.
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5/14/2019 • 30 minutes, 22 seconds
Ep 66 Masturbation
Zach and Laura discuss their sleep habits. Zach is switching it up and Laura is afraid she is getting older. She shares some interesting beliefs about what getting older allows you to do. Sparked from a listener question, they go on to discuss the, often complex, role of masturbation in your relationship.
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5/7/2019 • 29 minutes, 52 seconds
Ep 65 The 4 Habits of a Joy Filled Marriage
Zach tells us about his blanket fort he retreats to from time to time. Laura completed her first half marathon. And they welcome their first guest, Chris Coursey, to the podcast. Chris joins them to discuss his latest book, The 4 Habits of Joy-Filled Marriages. The practical steps can help every marriage.
Find out more about Chris at Thrive Today. More information about the book and related resources can be found at happyhappymarriage.org.
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4/30/2019 • 32 minutes, 5 seconds
Ep 64 Expectations of Your Partner
Laura's husband is working from home and she has found that their expectations about what daily life should look like are not totally aligned. Zach shares some stories of folks in similar situations.
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4/23/2019 • 26 minutes, 49 seconds
Ep 63 The One Question Experiment
Zach's daughter was in a TV show. Laura is training for a half marathon and taking a break from social media with great results. They go on to discuss the one question that could transform your relationship. Laura gives you a challenge to try this question in your relationship and report on how it turns out. Give them a call at 801-810-6197 and report the results.
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4/16/2019 • 29 minutes, 18 seconds
Ep 62 Breaking Up is Hard to Do
Zach and Laura are excited to announce their first real sponsor, Ana Luisa. You can find their fine jewelry and get an exclusive discount at https://www.analuisa.com/forbetterus. Be sure to order soon as Mother's Day is coming out on May 12th (You will laugh at that last bit when you listen to the episode). They go on to discuss a recent article Zach wrote for the Gottman Institute about breaking up.
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4/9/2019 • 30 minutes, 5 seconds
Ep 61 Sleep Tight
Zach is finishing up some food. Laura just returned from a great ski trip. Zach unpacks his last teaching gig. They go on to discuss your sleeping arrangements.
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4/2/2019 • 29 minutes, 58 seconds
Ep 60 We've Had This Fight Before
Zach and Laura recount the ways Jimmy John's has saved them from hunger. Laura is heading off road with her new trailer, while Zach is booking last minute 5 star hotels. They go on to discuss the cycle of arguments that happen in our relationship. There are some great tips on identifying what is behind the familiar disagreements and what we can do about it.
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3/19/2019 • 26 minutes, 49 seconds
Ep 59 Maintaining Connection while Traveling
Laura's workout's just upped their intensity for a very specific reason. Zach questions whether it is ok for him to compliment a stranger. They go on to discuss the importance of maintaining a connection with your partner when one of you travels.
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3/13/2019 • 32 minutes, 19 seconds
Ep 58 Anger Management
Laura gets a new backpack which sends Zach immediately into song sending them on a karaoke song one-upping. They go on to discuss how to manage anger and what to do when you or your partner are flooded.
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3/5/2019 • 27 minutes, 51 seconds
Ep 57 Finances
Laura circles back to the principle of rewarding desired behavior, noting that is has caused Zach to be more punctual. Zach is proud of his daughter and emoting more than usual. Laura reflects on an rewarding but exhausting weekend.
They go on to discuss some of the struggles and complexities of navigating finances with your partner.
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2/26/2019 • 28 minutes
Ep 56 Are you Lovable?
This week Zach is digging out of a snow storm and hoping the kids get back to school soon, while Laura's mom is LOVING here snow days. Laura has to offer an apology to a listener and friend. They go on to discuss the importance of remembering the shared goal of your relationship especially in the midst of tension and conflict. The provide some vital tips to ending the negative cycles and setting you and your partner on a path of loving and being lovable.
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2/19/2019 • 28 minutes, 56 seconds
Ep 55 Defensiveness
A snow day is gave Zach the opportunity to introduce his kids to the wonders of Monty Python. Laura is NOT finding it funny and is more than a little frustrated with someone canceling their plans. They go on to discuss how to manage criticism and defensiveness.
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2/6/2019 • 27 minutes, 52 seconds
Ep 54 Sexual Desire
Zach and Laura discuss their preferred work attire when meeting with remote clients. Zach is looking for something to look forward to so Laura invites him and the family to Salt Lake (just don't ask her what to do for fun there after 8pm).
They go on to discuss how to navigate the natural misalignment of sexual desire (and arousal) in your relationship. They share some great practical insights into how build anticipation and desire.
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1/30/2019 • 27 minutes, 50 seconds
Ep 53 When one partner is leaning out
Laura is feeling a bit grouchy, but rising to the occasion. Zach shares his secret for loving every Christmas gift he ever receives. They go on to discuss the dilemma when one partner leaning out of the relationship.
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1/22/2019 • 29 minutes, 19 seconds
Ep 52 Marriage Hacks
Zach and Laura celebrate one years worth of weekly podcasts. Laura can't leave the house as she cares for a new puppy. Zach is sending his daughter off to LA by herself. They go on to share ways you can improve your marriage even without needing your partners involvement. You will find some helpful tips that can transform your relationship.
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1/16/2019 • 29 minutes, 46 seconds
Ep 51 New Year's Intentions
Zach and Laura kick off the new year reflecting on the importance of intentions.
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1/8/2019 • 29 minutes, 49 seconds
Ep 50 Sex
Laura's dog gets a name. Zach is grieving that loss of an important part of his life. They go on to discuss how to navigate differing points of view on how frequently a couple should be having sex.
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12/28/2018 • 31 minutes, 39 seconds
Ep 49 Happy Festivus
Zach has had a busy day with clients. Laura spent some of her day upside down, and she wrote a joke. They discuss their holiday traditions and importance of ritual in every relationship.
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12/18/2018 • 27 minutes, 59 seconds
Ep 48 Couples on the Brink
Zach and Laura is getting excited for the new year and closing in on episode 52, one full year of weekly podcasts. Zach shares a winter dad joke. A Greek myth leads them into a dynamic conversation about couples in deep conflict.
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12/12/2018 • 28 minutes, 24 seconds
Ep 47 Dealing with Resentment
Zach and Laura start the show with a bit of a disagreement about punctuality. Zach shares that his daughter is in a new TV show debuting next year. Laura is training for a 1/2 marathon so Zach teaches her about fartlek. They go on to help a listener struggling with resentment in their relationship.
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12/4/2018 • 29 minutes, 5 seconds
Ep46 Warm Fuzzies and Cold Pricklies
Zach and Laura catch up after a busy Thanksgiving break. Zach goes on to share some important relationship principles he learned as a kid.
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11/28/2018 • 27 minutes, 42 seconds
Ep45 Listener Questions
Zach and Laura find commonality in rap and dark meat. They reflect on the recent workshop. They go on to respond to listener emails.
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11/20/2018 • 26 minutes, 16 seconds
Ep44 Divorce
Zach and Laura jump right in to discussing divorce.
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11/7/2018 • 28 minutes, 39 seconds
Ep43 The Goal of Conflict
Laura went for a great (and painful) run while Zach took a nap. Zach then shares one of the greatest statements that has impacted not only his work as a therapist, but as a husband and father.
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10/29/2018 • 25 minutes, 41 seconds
Ep42 Housework & Aging
Zach is podcasting from the kitchen today and it sparks a great conversation about the impact of housework on your relationship. Laura tells us that the benefits go far beyond having a clean house. They go on to respond to a listener question regarding how to navigate differences in energy levels in an aging partner. The principles they share are universal for us all.
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10/23/2018 • 30 minutes, 2 seconds
Ep41 Insecurity and Jealousy
Laura tries to figure out what movie she is thinking of. Zach does a half-hearted impersonation of Robin Williams. Zach shows his handy abilities by changing out a faucet. They go on to discuss how to navigate your partners relationships that make you insecure and jealous.
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10/17/2018 • 25 minutes, 56 seconds
Ep 40 Saying Yes to Your Partner
Zach is feeling groggy after sleeping in a bit late. Laura is back from an amazing trip to Iceland, except for the food poisoning. They go on to discuss how to interact with your partner when you don't connect or agree with what they are saying.
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10/9/2018 • 25 minutes, 48 seconds
Ep 39 - The First Therapeutic Conversations
Laura got a TON of sleep after a last minute trip to get a passport. Zach's brother is in town. His daughter passed her drivers test, but Laura found out before he did. They go on to discuss the importance of the shared story that is created between a couple, the way a couple communicates their story, and the value to the therapeutic process.
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9/19/2018 • 29 minutes, 13 seconds
Ep38 – Listener Questions
Zach gives us an update on his triathlon. Laura is exploring the deep recesses of Netflix. They go on to tackle a number of listener questions.
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9/12/2018 • 25 minutes, 8 seconds
Ep37 – Marriage Retreats
After a couple weeks away Zach and Laura catch up on what's going on. Zach is getting his health on and giving away lbs. Laura becomes the mom she never thought she would become. They go on to discuss the value of marriage retreats and how they can fit into a healthy relationship.
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8/28/2018 • 29 minutes, 42 seconds
Ep36 – The Usefulness of Premarital Counseling
Laura is headed up to Seattle, while Zach leaves for the Jersey Shore. Zach busts out some dad jokes. They go on to discuss the importance of knowing your "why" as you enter into a marriage and how premarital counseling can help bring clarity to that question as you enter this important commitment.
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8/14/2018 • 31 minutes, 51 seconds
Ep35 – Perpetual Problems
Zach gets to sleep in for the first time this summer. Laura is rocking some new morning routines. After a quick Frozen musical interlude they go on to discuss a listener question. What are we to do with differences in the relationship. Particularly differences that probably are not going to go away. Zach and Laura offer some great insight into how to understand difference and conflict withing your marriage.
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8/7/2018 • 26 minutes, 44 seconds
Ep34 – The Four Horsemen
Zach is feeling great and loving the sun. Laura shares how she doesn't buy cloths off the rack, but rather off a person. They go on to share 4 markers in a relationship that research has shown that if left unchecked will spell it's demise. You won't want to miss knowing what to look out for, and they also offer great insight into how to help combat these negative patterns.
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7/30/2018 • 35 minutes, 16 seconds
Ep33 - Your Experience is Valid
Laura needs to shower. Zach looks like the uni-bomber. Summer is in full swing with family members and kids headed in different directions. Zach and Laura offer some great insight on how to get on the same page with your partner even when you are coming from different places.
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7/25/2018 • 30 minutes, 32 seconds
Ep32 – Your Marriage Social Network
Laura shoots a pilot. Zach continues training for his triathlon. They then discuss the importance of a social network, both for each individual in a marriage and for the marriage as a whole. They share some great insights into the impact the people you surround yourself with have on your relationship.
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7/10/2018 • 27 minutes, 8 seconds
Ep31 – Help, my Partner has Changed
Laura loves to pack and Zach fixed his flashlight. They go on to tackle a tough listener question about managing differences when your partner has gone through tremendous changes.
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6/13/2018 • 30 minutes, 22 seconds
Ep30 – Play
Laura is headed to Iceland. When Zach's magician changes plans he decides instead to compete in a triathlon. (You read that sentence correctly) Although a triathlon is not a team sport, today Zach and Laura are discussing the concept of being on the same team as your partner.
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6/5/2018 • 30 minutes, 11 seconds
Ep29 – The Secret to Good Communication
Laura's love for speedos get her in trouble with the grammar police. Zach's gets called out on church attendance by his pastor. They go on to share great tips for creating the right context for great conversations to happen in your marriage.
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5/21/2018 • 28 minutes, 44 seconds
Ep28 – What is the Purpose of Your Marriage?
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5/15/2018 • 25 minutes, 7 seconds
Ep27 – Out of the Comfort Zone
Laura is flying solo in this episode. She shares with us how important is it to stretch ourselves by stepping outside our comfort zones. Although we may recognize this to be true personally and professionally, it is also very important relationally. Laura give some great practical examples of how to do this while sharing some of her personal goals and experiences.
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5/7/2018 • 25 minutes, 24 seconds
Ep26 - Listener Question
Zach and Laura tackle a question from a listener. Laura acknowledges a fear of The Wizard of OZ and Zach shares how he got his name.
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4/30/2018 • 27 minutes, 58 seconds
Ep25 - Break of Trust
Zach is a good son and surprises his mom on her birthday. Laura extols the unintended benefits of anesthesia. They each discuss their love for and struggles with Hamilton which leads them to the difficult topic of betrayal and loss of trust. Sharing examples from their experience as well as their studies, Zach and Laura give insight into tricky dynamics at play in loosing and regaining trust in a relationship.
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4/24/2018 • 27 minutes, 58 seconds
Ep24 – Emotional Currency
Spring has arrived for Laura. Zach is still stuck in second winter in Seattle. They discuss Easter traditions and Costco scalloped potatoes. Sparked by a listeners email they revisit the emotional bank account and the importance of knowing the currency your partner needs in to keep a positive balance.
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4/17/2018 • 22 minutes, 13 seconds
Ep23 – Emotional Intelligence
Laura struggles with technology. Zach compares and contrasts Kim Kardashian and Brene Brown. They then present some important research and personal findings regarding the power of increased emotional intelligence on your relationship.
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4/10/2018 • 28 minutes, 11 seconds
Ep22 – Why Money Matters
We learn that both Zach and Laura's have some well honed eavesdropping skills. There's some brief talk of bodily function in the first couple minutes, but they quickly move on to share some important thoughts about the impact of money on your relationship.
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4/2/2018 • 30 minutes, 23 seconds
Ep21 - Is Your Relationship Overdrawn?
Zach and Laura took last week off to explore Seattle's culinary delights, but they are back this week to offer great insight into keeping your emotional accounts full.
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3/26/2018 • 24 minutes, 40 seconds
Ep20 -Stuck in a Traditional Relationship
Laura is loving her single serving guacamole. Zach is craving another nap under his weighted blanket. But more important, Zach and Laura discuss the impact of traditional relationship roles and the need for shared power.
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3/12/2018 • 23 minutes, 46 seconds
Ep19 -The Secret to a Happy Relationship
Zach is back from Cabo, Laura shows a lack of interest in deformed digits, and they both share some of the secrets to a happy relationship. They draw on both research and personal experience to provide some actionable tips to improve your marriage.
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3/5/2018 • 29 minutes, 12 seconds
Ep18 -7 Day Challenge for Lovers
Laura is flying solo while Zach lounges in Mexico. After recovering from seeing a picture of Zach's hairy toes, Laura brings you a great challenge to spice up your love life.
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2/26/2018 • 18 minutes, 21 seconds
Ep17 - Let's Talk About Your Cell Phone Addiction
While Zach lounges in Cabo, Laura introduces the show from snowy Salt Lake City. Even though Laura's mic had issues, she and Zach share some great insight regarding managing the device you are most likely listening to this on. Be sure to check out our sponsor Bagby on Etsy and be sure to use Code MTR55 for a great discount.
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2/20/2018 • 30 minutes, 15 seconds
Ep16 - My Relationship is Boring
Zach and Laura offer their perspective on adding some interest and life back into a relationship that may be stuck in boring town. Laura makes a bold personal commitment and Zach shares some exciting family news. On this Valentine's day share some kind words (and maybe this podcast) with the one you love.
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2/13/2018 • 29 minutes, 2 seconds
Ep15 - Resources and Recommendations for Couples
Zach and Laura talk through their favorite resources for couples. They're not what you think. Zach unleashes some pretty sweet "dad-jokes" and Laura tries not to laugh. Be sure to check out some of these resources and let us know what you think.
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2/5/2018 • 29 minutes, 55 seconds
Ep14 - Why Bother?
Laura has more input on Zach’s clothing choices. Cupcakes go uneaten. And Zach and Laura explore the motivations that bring folks to seek improvement for their marriage.
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1/29/2018 • 22 minutes, 15 seconds
Ep13 - Married with Children
Zach places a bet that he's getting less. Laura places a bet that she's getting more. They move on to discuss the impact of children on the marriage and how to protect the relationship from the major change they bring.
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1/22/2018 • 26 minutes, 12 seconds
Ep12 - What is Marriage Therapy Anyway?
Zach and Laura explore the subject of marriage therapy itself? What is it? Why does it work? How do you know you've found the right therapist? What can you expect? Zach also gets mad about traffic but Laura doesn't care because she's in a really good mood.
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1/15/2018 • 22 minutes, 30 seconds
Ep11 - A New Start for a New Year
Zach and Laura hit reset on the podcast to celebrate the new year. (Third time’s a charm since they ruined the first two attempts.) They discuss the rituals and intentions that help them and their clients get focused on their relationships. Zach says "umm" a lot and Laura goes out of her way to pull her husband out from under the bus.
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1/8/2018 • 18 minutes, 27 seconds
Ep10 - Partnering Against Stress
Laura takes a 4 hour break from Facebook. Zach reads 3 out of the 12 biographies we was planning to finish this year. After these confessions they discuss key attitudes and skills couples can employ to partner together times of stress.
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12/18/2017 • 22 minutes, 33 seconds
Ep09 - How to Manage Stress in Your Relationship
Zach and Laura reflect on the nature and impact of stress on a marriage. They provide some great insight into how to not let it be a divider but rather a point of connection and strength in your relationship.
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12/11/2017 • 17 minutes, 42 seconds
Ep08 - How to Crack the Intimacy Code
Zach and Laura talk about their bodies and what it means to be healthy. They also get into intimacy, which doesn't mean what you think it means.. What it actually means may surprise and inspire you. Is it possible that intimacy is more than just sex? Listen and find out.
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12/5/2017 • 21 minutes, 56 seconds
Ep07 - How to Win the Weekend
Zach and Laura reflect on their weekends. Zach spent it at a marriage seminar with his wife and Laura had a girls weekend away. They let you know what worked and what didn’t and what you can do to get the most from your weekend.
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11/27/2017 • 19 minutes, 6 seconds
Ep06 - Conversations on Purpose
Zach and Laura continue their Connection Series and discuss the power of intentional conversations. They share how leaning into some new scripts can build intimacy and true connection. Laura also goes overboard and pays Zach TWO compliments.
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11/20/2017 • 17 minutes
Ep05 - Roommate Syndrome
Zach Brittle and Laura heck begin a new series on Connection. In this episode they explore the phenomenon of Roommate Syndrome and how it affects many couples. They show you the signs for how the slide begins and they discuss the power of a McDonald's milkshake.
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11/13/2017 • 17 minutes, 6 seconds
Ep04 - How to Repair
Zach and Laura discuss the most important skill for any couple and the best time to do it. (Hint: It's any time.) They also reveal the one question every couple needs to learn how to ask and answer on a regular basis. Zach reveals the secret to making him feel like $20.
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11/6/2017 • 15 minutes, 52 seconds
Ep03 - How to Apologize
Laura throws her husband under the bus and Zach talks about how much he hates the words "I'm sorry." They discuss a formula for how to apologize effectively and how both partners have a role. They also discuss why "forgive and forget" is a bad strategy.
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10/30/2017 • 15 minutes, 25 seconds
Ep02 - How to Skydive
Zach teaches Laura all about skydiving and the two most important rules once you leave the plane and gravity takes over. They discuss different ways that couples can de-escalate and repair in the midst of conflict. They test out a new slogan for the podcast.
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10/23/2017 • 15 minutes, 33 seconds
Ep01 - How to Avoid Conflict
SPOILER ALERT: You can't. Conflict is inevitable and every couple struggles in their own way. Zach and Laura discuss common problems and ways to navigate through conflict successfully. Laura tells a disgusting story.
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10/16/2017 • 13 minutes, 42 seconds
Introducing Marriage Therapy Radio
You're a fly on the wall as two marriage therapists discuss their most interesting and challenging cases. Zach Brittle and Laura Heck have spent thousands of hours with hundreds of couples helping them move toward a better marriage.
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