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Giles Coren Has No Idea Profile

Giles Coren Has No Idea

English, Political, 13 seasons, 163 episodes, 3 days, 16 minutes
About
Each week Giles Coren finds himself with no idea what to write about in his weekly column. Having read all the papers and found nothing of interest whatsoever, he takes a break and does the school run. That’s where his wife and fellow journalist Esther Walker comes in. Upon his return, Esther has half a dozen ideas she’s spotted ready to knock around with him over the kitchen table and a much needed pot of coffee. You can read Giles in The Times here; https://www.thetimes.co.uk/profile/giles-coren And subscribe to The Times and Sunday Times here; https://www.thetimes.co.uk/subscribe
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Giles vs The Boomers

Are Sir Keir Starmer and Angela Raynor following in the footsteps of The Coren's builders – telling you how bad the previous tradesmen were?Who is in charge around here? Giles has a boomer bee in his bonnet and wonders if they’re just struggling to accept their waning influence in society. He takes to the comments to do battle; but he certainly doesn’t call them c…. !Ozempic may be a miracle drug for those overweight, but it is a killer for restaurants. Fear not Esther can save the day.Would you pass a ‘real world’ maths test? Would you pass a dad maths test? Time to find out…  Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
10/25/202426 minutes, 7 seconds
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Mo Money Mo Problems

All change this week as The Corens are having work done – brick work not cosmetic work. As a result, they have decamped to someone else’s house…it prompts discussion about interior decor and the ‘Sandbanks House Wars’ where multi-millionaires are competing to build the grandest home.It turns out Christopher Columbus was Jewish; unfortunately, now he has been branded imperialist and racist its 500 years too late for Giles. Is there anyone else that is going to be dumped on the Jewish community?After the break, who are the nicest and nastiest celebs that Giles and Esther have ever met? Mostly uncensored.**One of Brian Clough’s autobiographies was titled ‘Cloughie: Walking on Water.’ In reference to a song the Nottingham Forest fans used to sing about him.  Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
10/18/202428 minutes, 2 seconds
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A Medieval Version of Grindr

There are only three weeks left to audition for the new HBO Harry Potter series, sadly for Giles his best wizarding days are behind him, but he has high hopes for his son.In fact, at fifty-five are most of his best days behind him? Who knows, he’s too old to care. But he does know what goes best with a square of dark chocolate…“There is no such thing as ‘man flu’” says Giles, but then he goes on to say lots of other things which Esther has more of a problem with.Finally, a great new dating app for the Catholic church and…something else, no its gone, I can’t remember.  Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
10/11/202426 minutes, 28 seconds
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Of Parachutes and Prostates

This week officious staff at the national gallery leave a bad impression.Daniel Craig seems to be sporting the latest in parachute wear; the former Bond stars look reminds Giles of an ill-fated inventor in Paris over a hundred years ago.After the break it’s sober-October and what’s in a name? When it comes to Prostate cancer quite a lot it would appear. Giles tries to re brand the most common male cancer. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
10/4/202420 minutes, 57 seconds
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Is It A Phone...?

Three questions:1)     What constitutes modern art? A sieve without a handle, a misshapen squash? Esthers patience with the Turner Prize has reached its limit.2)     What’s the difference between a banana and a phone? ...what's a banana?3)     What’s the first rule of customer relations? The customer is always a [email protected], the positives of Oxbridge sliding down the university league tables.And saving the best till last, look out for Giles and Esther’s absolutely fabulous Jane Horrocks impressions.** Contains strong language from the start Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
9/27/202429 minutes, 2 seconds
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Freebies!

What is a freebie, how do you get them and do you have to pay tax?A tale of two particular freebies this week, interspersed with a collection of Giles and Esthers own freebies from the past.While Lady Starmer has fallen foul of some members of the press for her new dresses, Eamonn Holmes has been scoffed at for taking his lady friend on a cruise. Esther and Giles have sympathy, freebies aren’t all they’re cracked up to be and anyway they’re part of the business, aren’t they…  Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
9/20/202428 minutes, 50 seconds
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Starmergeddon!

Giles and Esther are thrilled to be back from their long summer break, well Esther is.And there is so much to talk about; Keir Starmer has taken a truth serum, but is that what people want? Donald Trump went face to face with Kamala Harris in an animalistic US presidential debate. The weight loss drug Ozempic is now being offered to children and Greggs have launched a range of footwear. The world is still mad. But fear not, take joy in the simple things, just like Giles and Kitty on the way to school…  Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
9/13/202430 minutes, 26 seconds
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Coming soon... Giles and Esther

Giles and Esther send a quick note from their holidays. They'll be back and raring to go next week. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
9/6/202441 seconds
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Goodbye neighbour, hello Prime Minister..?

A new dawn has broken, has it not… well something like that. Giles and Esther channel their inner Nostradamus to predict last night’s results. If, as assumed Sir Keir becomes PM, what does it mean for his family? Giles considers penning an ode to Kentish Town and all that the Starmers will leave behind.As Sir Keir awaits his big result, Giles is waiting for his own important phone call, but its from the NHS so who knows when it will come, today, tomorrow…never.  Rumours abound of very underhand tactics being planned within the parental whats app groups of certain private schools. Will it be enough to change Labour policy? Amidst the big news a smaller but perhaps more meaningful event, the closing of a chapter in the Coren household. When dealing with the emotional toll of children growing up, who better to turn to than A. A. Milne or F. Scott Fitzgerald?  Finally, women are better at espionage than men…how else did Dame Judi make it to be head of MI6..? Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
7/5/202426 minutes, 48 seconds
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Fighting Podcasts From The Inside

Giles is feeling bright and breezy, and it’s all thanks to Ether. For once he took her advice and tried the latest ‘wonder drug’ Naltrexone. What would have otherwise been a night of drunken excess instead turned into a night of charitable excess. He is a convert. Sadly, neither he nor Esther have made any money out of their pharmaceutical evangelism. Keir Starmer has exposed the latest ‘get out of jail free card’ for those in public life: ”I’m changing it from the inside.” Seeing it for the cop out that it is they wonder what else could be changed from the inside...?If one wished to be pale, male and stale, how would one go about it? Giles has all the tips you’ll need. Esther indulges her love of low-level pettiness and offers it to the listeners for those who share her joy of pointless tiny battles. Finally, a look at the spat between David Tennant and Kemi Badenoch and the effects of success guilt. ** The ambient sounds were out in force this week, with the doors open on a very hot day we had the sound of local children, a workman using an angle grinder and as always, the birds.   Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
6/28/202425 minutes, 6 seconds
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Working class hero, moi?

In response to a survey suggesting people are turning away from the news Giles and Esther pander to the masses and happily look past the obvious headlines. Who or what constitutes a working man? As the blue and red parties scabble to attract anyone who earns a living Giles is temporarily bewitched by the endless tax breaks on offer from the Reform party. His conscience kicks in but with his new found knowledge of the candidates he does a ‘who said what’ quiz for Esther. Little House on the Prairie - an idyllic serene country existence…? Not so fast! If you survive the warring factions on the plain and the syphilis you’ve still got to fight off the cowboys. Perhaps not the best example of the past to offer to children. Giles and Esther consider some better examples, and more pertinent advice for the young people of today. Lastly, could it really be true that privately educated children are thinner in middle age than their state educated counter parts? Of course not, Esther is suitably exasperated. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
6/21/202426 minutes, 22 seconds
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Esther's Booze Hell

Esther is front page news after writing about a drug which helps with alcoholism…unusually she hasn’t just written about naltrexone, she’s tried it. It leads to a discussion about the results of alcohol abuse within different economic groups. As ever the Germans are ahead of the game, they’ve decided to only sell England football fans low alcohol beer.Rishi Sunak has once again shown his gift for the uncommon touch; Giles thinks he shouldn’t be let lose without a minder. What is the point of going to university? Giles and Esther disagree, but both can see the endless benefits of going to boarding school.Bring back kids TV, so says Russel T Davis. Esther likes the idea but what would one bring back, TISWAS, Swap Shop or Going Live? Finally, as protests sweep the nation Giles has a cunning idea, a protest against his own podcast… Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
6/14/202425 minutes, 39 seconds
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Election numberwang

Stephen Fry has upset the ruddy faced members of the MCC; it has left Giles awkwardly fiddling with his box as he balances his desire to join the MCC with his admiration for Mr Fry.No such trouble with Keir Starmer and Rishi Sunak who come in for equal disdain. Was it a debate or a barrister and a banker meeting at the school gates? Or a special episode of Numberwang…?The debate slid to one side Esther and Giles consider a throbbing question; What are the most annoying ‘corporate speak’ phrases? Low hanging fruit, blue sky thinking…? Whichever it is, Giles and Esther are about to smut them up for you.Esther thinks Giles has a big one, Giles thinks it is actually quite small, certainly not as big as Fergie’s. Thank goodness the late Queen Elizabeth insisted Fergie parade hers in public…After all the saucy talk Esther needs a stiff drink…but not on a plane.Finally, its back to the election as Rishi Sunak enlists Tom Cruise into his campaign team…  Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
6/7/202428 minutes, 16 seconds
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Half term highlights

Giles and Esther are away this week. In their absence here is a short collection of recent highlights.Giles faces a late fitness test. Esther takes the AA road quiz. And why won't flying taxis go south of the river...?Hope you enjoy them. Please do like and share and we’ll see you next week. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
5/31/202426 minutes, 19 seconds
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Lasagne Al Porno

** This episode was recorded just before Prime Minister Rishi Sunak called the election; please sit back and bask in an election free zone.Has Kevin Costner got better with age? Esther thinks so. She also ranks his film ‘Robin Hood Prince of Thieves’ as the best of all time, unlike his current project – Horizon: chapter one. In a spooky premonition Giles stars in his own vanity project; a gripping drama about a snap election, an assassination and an ageing dad being called up to save the ashes. A new sex themed Italian restaurant has opened in Milan, Giles does not want to know what the specials are! Despite the recent tragic events statistically air travel is still very safe…just don’t board a plane built by the NHS and run by the Post Office. Whatever the plane, the 'Campden People’s Theatre' will be flying first class, but they’d love to mix with those in the cheap seats…Finally, it’s time to prepare! Never mind the election we’re talking pandemics, learn from lock down - more pasta and hummus, less toilet roll.If you’re wondering what the pitter patter in the background is, that’ll be the rain. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
5/24/202428 minutes, 16 seconds
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The Secret Diary of Giles Coren aged 13 ¾

Artist Jonathan Yeo has painted luminaries such as Tony Blair, David Cameron and most recently the King. He has also painted Giles (twice) and Esther’s sister. As old friends of Jonathan, Giles and Esther are well placed to guide the philistines of Instagram through his artistic talents.Chancellor Jeremy Hunt is seeking to reassure the nation that all is well in the UK. Unfortunately, his lacklustre writing style is the least of his problems; he has an 800 year old tax rebate and a batty flautist to sort out first.  A new carrot and carrot approach to the obesity crisis is showing positive results. Are incentives the way forward to change behaviours…? How much to make people pronounce semaglutide correctly…?Finally, Giles gets in touch with his feminine side in the swimming pool, once he has buried his acorns… Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
5/17/202427 minutes, 23 seconds
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"The young need to see the old w**king."

Welcome back and a Happy New Year. Giles welcomes 2024 by pondering the impending apocalypse. Thankfully that doesn’t last long before thoughts turn to working or wanking, or both. Is work by its very definition not to be enjoyed? To quote Esther; “it’s boring and it never stops.” It is unlikely that public sex acts would improve matters much, but it is hard not to consider once the seed has been sown. Speaking of filth, Giles hasn’t washed in six days, but with good reason. Esher on the other had has washed, but in an unconventional manner. Perhaps it is because, like Kate Moss, they just don’t give a fig…Here's to series twelve, thanks for listening. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
1/19/202424 minutes, 53 seconds
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Is it time to run away Sir Bernard?

After a difficult few weeks Giles and Esther are back. Understandably the conversation begins with the ongoing conflict in the middle east, and its jarring contrast with the rest of life.Matters develop as the idea of emigrating emerges…well running away would be more accurate. But where to, that is the question; Cuba, New Zealand, Mumbai…?Finally, the ‘fruity’ language of Dominic Cummings…or is it Cummins? Is his lineage that of Campbell, Iannucci and Tucker? Or is he simply the result of unbearable frustration at pompous blobs…? Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
11/3/202325 minutes, 41 seconds
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“This is not the end; this is not even the beginning… can I go for a wee?”

The subject of Russell Brand prompts Giles to ponder the merits of being a conspiracy theorist. Esther has been given the nod that comedians aren’t very good in bed, or is that just another conspiracy theory. Prime Minister Sunak is taken to task over his rolling back of the Conservative party green agenda and does Paris actually exist, at least the fetishised American version of it?  Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
9/22/202323 minutes, 23 seconds
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The Times and Sunday Times Christmas Appeal 2021

The Times and The Sunday Times are joining forces again for this year’s Christmas appeal, asking readers to support three charities working to address urgent issues affecting vulnerable adults, children and the places in which we live.One of the charities this year is the Refugee Councils of Britain, comprising the Refugee Council and its Scottish and Welsh counterparts. They provide assistance to 20,000 adults, families and unaccompanied children each year who have fled bloodshed and persecution in their homelands, sometimes arriving with only the clothes on their backs after perilous journeys.Nestor Masudi arrived in the UK with nothing, but now he can cook with the very best. Thanks to support from the Scottish Refugee Council Nestor has worked in Michelin-starred kitchens and is on his way to fulfilling his dream of opening his own restaurant.Giles Coren invited Nestor to join him for the afternoon in the News UK kitchens to talk about his life, the help he received from the Scottish Refugee Council and to sample some of his amazing food.To donate to The Times and Sunday Times Christmas Appeal visit thetimes.co.uk/christmasappeal Producer: Ben Mitchell Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
12/8/202125 minutes, 59 seconds
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Grant Coren Has No Idea

Giles and Esther thumb their way through the week's papers for another column idea; from popular baby names and common mannerisms to Shakespeare on TikTok and ageing. Giles is suffering from a Victorian disease and Esther, obviously, finds that hilarious.Get more of The Times and The Sunday Times for less than £1 a day. Visit thetimes.co.uk/gilescorenhasnoidea to start your free trial.Producer: Ben Mitchell Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
10/21/202126 minutes, 29 seconds
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Stop Talking!

Giles and Esther complete their weekly trawl through the papers to find ideas for Giles’ Column in The Times. Today they find Radio 4 interviewers infuriating; talking dogs uninspiring and next doors builders unbearable. Get more of The Times and The Sunday Times for less than £1 a day. Visit thetimes.co.uk/gilescorenhasnoidea to start your free trial.Producer: Lucy Dichmont See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
10/8/202124 minutes, 25 seconds
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Series 6 - COMING SOON...

There may be shortages left right and centre, but Giles and Esther are back to overwhelm the husband and wife podcast ranks, with new ideas for his weekend column.Get The Times free for a month: thetimes.co.uk/gilescorenhasnoidea Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
9/30/20211 minute
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Should I Get a Foden?

Giles and Esther look for another column idea from this week's papers; from school trips and Euro 2020, to statement haircuts and restaraunts post lockdown. Giles recalls a traumatic (hilariousl) moment from his childhood while Esther recovers from her second jab.Get more of The Times and The Sunday Times with 50% off for 6 months. Visit thetimes.co.uk/gilescorenhasnoidea to start your free trial.Producer: Ben Mitchell Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
6/24/202126 minutes, 12 seconds
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Love in the Time of Corona

Giles and Esther are back around the kitchen table with another the week's best stories in the of papers; from Noah's Ark and marriage restrictions, to Big Brother and lockdown mental health. Giles is concerned the cracks are starting to show after Freedom Day was cancelled and Esther has some ideas to help.Get more of The Times and The Sunday Times for less than £1 a day. Visit thetimes.co.uk/gilescorenhasnoidea to start your free trial.Producer: Ben Mitchell Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
6/17/202127 minutes, 7 seconds
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Series 5 - COMING SOON...

Seeing as though they still can't go away to their tropical retreat, Giles and Esther have returned sooner than ever before to their kitchen table to find new ideas for his weekend column.Get The Times free for a month: thetimes.co.uk/gilescorenhasnoidea Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
5/6/20211 minute
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Introducing Stories of our times; Splendid isolation with Jon Ronson

Introducing our new free daily news podcast, Stories of our times. It takes you to the heart of the stories that matter, with exclusive access and reporting.Published for the start of your day, it is hosted by Manveen Rana and David Aaronovitch.In this episode, the World Health Organisation has recognised that the coronavirus crisis is generating stress and has advised people to avoid watching, reading or listening to news that causes feelings of anxiety. But for author Jon Ronson, living with anxiety at the time of a pandemic holds some advantages too. Guest: Jon RonsonHost: Manveen Rana Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
3/24/202025 minutes, 6 seconds
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Series 2 - COMING SOON...

That's right, series two is right around the corner, and Giles and Esther are waiting at their kitchen table for you to pull up a chair and get the kettle on. Join them each week as they work out what Giles can write in his column whilst trying to avoid cats in their coffee and martial rows.You can read Giles in The Times here: https://www.thetimes.co.uk/profile/giles-corenAnd subscribe to The Times and Sunday Times here: https://www.thetimes.co.uk/subscribeProducer: Ben Mitchell Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
1/8/20201 minute, 19 seconds
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Giles Coren Has No Idea - coming soon

Introducing the new podcast from The Times columnist Giles Coren. How does a newspaper columnist come up with ideas for their weekly newspaper column? Join Giles (and his wife Esther Walker) as they work out what he's going to write about this week. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
6/28/20192 minutes, 45 seconds