1- Cancer sucks2- Rats get fat and good men die3- I’ll just use gas4- Take care of you5- Rules to live by6- Thanks for the memories

1- Trump NFT: only $99. Great War on Christmas gift.2- I’m not goin' to jail for him… Yes, you are.3- No, it isn’t the party of Lincoln.4- We almost got it right5- Can we talk?

1- Brittney is out2- It's Werewolfing time3- Cheating Works4- Black robe by day, white robe by night5- Thanks, Trevor.

1- I don’t like Black mass shooters2- There’s 2 white supremacists at Mar a Lago3- How is Herschel not winning? He was gonna go to law school.4- Freedom of speech we approve of5- Same-sex marriage saved6- Corporate crime aka business as usual7- Merry Christmas

1- Dems got Senate, Republicans got House. Nothing gets done.2- Sorry, Kari, elections are real.3- A prophet gets his wish4- Hershel, vampires, werewolves, and child care. Observably stupid.5- LA wins. Sherriff, Mayor, People.6- Chappelle gotta Chappelle and we love it7- Find me at rebelHQ TYT.com and Zofunny on IG Love ya

1- Now they gotta explain a run-off to Herschel.2- Sex-shamed by Boebert3- We won by not losing big.4- Let's fire the racist so we can elect him.5- Twitter has Twatted

1- If it wasn’t important, they wouldn’t be trying to stop you.2- Twitter is dead.3- Hate speech is real.4- What did rich white males want in 1791? Guns.5- Kyrie is Krazy.6- No Empathy. No Apology. No Accountability.

1- Its about the children…No, it's not.2- Herschel Walker paid for another one. Another abortion not another kid. He doesn’t pay for those.3- Don’t debate after a stroke4- Stop the steal or we’ll shoot5- MTG takes a bath with Trump and it's beautiful.6- Hello, Pot, This is Kettle.7- Shirley Raines life matters8- Ye is not winning9- California economy is number 4 IN THE WORLD. Sorry, Texas, you’re number 10. Thats far below 4, if you’re counting.

1- 1400 to 18. They win, you lose.2- I got a badge. You got a badge. Everybody got a badge.3- Good ole racism. When all else fails...4- Drunk Driving? C’mon down to Georgia.5- She’s just too smart6- Sorry, mom. Do you have your kids DNA?7- That is not presidential ice cream

1- Mitch McConnell just won’t quit2- LA City Council a racist mess3- Get in the union4- You don’t have to go to China to hire children5- Why didn’t I buy Apple?

1- The Original Latino Comic2- Yeah I know him and her and them3- Santa Claus4- Commerce has a Casino?5- In this corner…6- I love LA whatever happens7- He’s now a rock star

1- Take his money.2- Brett Farve, the silence is deafening.3- Hey, Ted. Asylum worked for daddy.4- My name is Ron Johnson and I approve this message5- Texas is number 1… in banning books6- He’s a 20 something kid

1- Isn’t that human trafficking?2- She’s a hero, not a criminal.3- build a freeway Crush a home4- Mermaids have no color. No really, they don’t. They’re not real.5- Uh Oh, we’re becoming a shit hole.6- Hey Touron, do not feed the bison.

1- Mississippi will Mississippi 2- Crooks, I mean, Bank of America 3- White Privilege? There’s a card for that 4- He’s going to get away with it 5- Angry, old white women 6- The common good? Nah.

1- WATER   2- They’re leaving Cali.. No, they’re not    3- Declassify the fake docs. That’ll get ‘em.    4- Waitin on a train   5- Relax, MTG, Palin’s not coming.    6- Thank You, Serena. 

1- Vegas2- Pay your loans. We said your loans, not our loans.3- Tough on crime. Maybe not so much.4- Bullet-proof backpacks5- Not in my very expensive backyard6- No gas in Cali7- RIP Joey D8- National Dog Day. Give ‘em a treat.

1- Bringing Art to an underserved world2- No egos here3- Some LeBron’s 97 million4- No bad art, kids. Create Create Create.5- It's all good news

1- Hello, this is the FBI, about those papers you took…2- I plead the 5th. Emphasis on Plead3- Attack the FBI? F**k around Find out4- Damn those low gas prices5- Serena’s greatness requires no comparisons6- Stupid Don’t Get Tired on YouTube NOW

1- Release Brittney Griner2- Kansas Pro Choice3- Profits up 235%. Why can’t it be 300?4- Defund the Library5- Disney does it right6- Your lawyers hate you7- Cracker Barrel destroys democracy

Live from Just For Laughs Montreal with Jessica Kirson

1- Still in Montreal.2- Still Hot in England.3- I’m dumb and I’m a role model.4- Walgreens is not a church.5- Chappelle banned but we still sell tickets6- Bruce’s Beach is once again Bruce’s Beach.

1- It's not a baseball catcher2- It's not a Proud Boys supporter3- It's not slavery denial (though that's close)4- No, my fetus is a passenger (Great Argument)5- It's denial that a 10 year old was raped. DING DING DING. You win, Ohio Garbage People.6- With a touch of Herschel stupid thrown in.

1- Highland Park Massacre2- Yes, Marjorie, you do have mental illness.3- 8 years old... Somehow we’re Ok with that.4- Your gas price is up? Republicans did that.5- Free Brittney Griner6- Tiara Mack twerks Ted Cruz Shoots. Which is Obscene?7- David “Santa “ Riddell arrested for protesting regulations that don’t exist. You’ve been naughty, Santa.

1- It all started in San Francisco...2- Who’s Line Is It? He improv'ed learning improv.3- England to unapologetic4 - The Art of Teaching5- 30 years and it’s still guns and abortion6- Dick Cheney and the Good Ole Days7- Vote, read, and VOTE8- The Good News Is...

1- Jan 6 hearings for entertainment only2- Yeah but what if it's a Muslim school?3- He took the day off4- Grab your gun. The Court has spoken.5- No ethics rules. Why? They’re Supreme.6- Plenty of bad cops to go around7- I mean, it wasn’t a dog. Let's play some football.

1- I want to watch some perp walkin'.2- But it's just a loan3- I don’t have water. How about some gas?4- Patriots in a Uhaul? Lock 'em up.5- Young White Males6- Criminal profits, oh, I mean gas prices.

Uvalde

Welcome comic, host, actress, and now EMT: Crystal Marie!

1- Sarah says comics are better than Representatives2- Uncle Clarence forgot to talk to Mrs. Uncle Clarence3- Over educated women scare weak ass cowardly Republican men4- It's not a difficult issue, it's F**KIN RAPE.5- Uh... your neighbors joined the protest.6- Thank you, Ms. Psaki, you’re better than them to the very end.7- I’m Sean Hannity and I’m a coward. I endorse this message.8- Airlines are Assholes9- Everyone is better than elected representatives

1- CHAPPELLE ATTACKED. Going to have to add selfdefense and security to services2- Helping comics financially, physically, & mentally3- Carneys get unemployment, so should we.4- Comics are generous to our own. We need you too.5- Golf tournament & Basketball Game6- Donate. Text Laugh to 707070comedygivesback.com7- you might work alone you don’t have to be alone

1- Glad he didn't give up2- Does art imitate life? Nah.3- Free Speech? Time will tell..4- Get rid of them angry followers5- The Oscars? Pass.6- Comedy and emotion7- The best compliments come from both sides8- Old Dad

1- NYC2- Masks? We were kidding. You’re fine.3- Morning news. Morning bad news.4- Execution: Texas-style5- Marriage if church and state by the courts6- Hey, China. We’re banning math books.7- Teach my child? I’ll sue.8- Tucker says burn your balls into manhood

1- No, Tucker, a black mass shooter doesn’t make it okay.2- Ghost guns are still guns3- Stop those trucks4- 10000 Ukrainians walk into a bar...5- Inflation is rough all over6- Corrupt and Stupid7- It IS okay to be a Unicorn

1- I started with Hannibal2- Talk radio: a great job for the 80’s3- Slap heard round the world4- Black Lives Houses seem to matter5- Men go to any lengths to find the Creepy

1- Can’t talk about Fox News2- Cant talk about Apple3- Chris Rock and Will Smith.

1- Best Tweet Ever2- The Chairman calls the idiot from Tennessee.3- Don't you know who I am?! Unfortunately, we do.4- Why are Conservatives angry?5- Mrs. Harris, will you be the deciding vote?

1- From Snoop to Martha To Nikki to George... He writes the funny.2- How do you get Cloris Leachman to work dirty?3- Finding the funny for them4- Boston, NY, LA5- TV in the middle6- Leaded Gas7- The good news is…

1- Guest Guy Torry2- Phat Tuesday: The Place to Be3- Good to be naive4- Acting with the dark side of comedy5- Doin' Life6- Looking back and soaking it up7- Country Music Awards?

1- Putin over Biden? Don’t tell Reagan2- Freedom to deny Freedom3- Shipping and handling definitely cost extra4- I’m going to Disneyland5- EATING SALAD DRUNK by GABE HENRY and us comics

1- Sweet Taste of Urine2- Navy Lieutenant surrenders to second grade3- What’s my Name?4- Funniest Dad5- She’s checking her phone6- The Parents Lounge7- Thanks for a sense of wonder

1- Voting rights: Gone.2- Let’s ban the books!3- The Freedom Convoy, isn’t.4- He’s Black. Let's shoot him, again!5- Leo Flowers on Life and Living

1- No such thing as bad publicity2- Newsom is an idiot3- Another Fox hero falls4- Of course it's systematic racism5- Black women are OVERQUALIFIED and better than you, Cruz.6- Just don’t pay it7- Bethany Van Delft

1- John Stockton, we don’t need your assist.2- Stupid SOB is a Stupid SOB3- What’s her end game?4- Ass whoopin Needed. Right NOW!5- She did it just like the men do6- Self made inheritance7- Brian Murdoch: hard at work

1- Cancelled2- Food, Wipeouts, and Soup3- Scorpion and other inappropriate observations4- Vaccinate white people5- Kenny Ray? Coon Rapids? You do the math.6- Good news. Subpoenas ignored. Career Ended?7- Alexander Hamilton saw this coming

1- HBO MAX Special2- Her personal is topical3- Puerto Rican, Dominican, Light-skinned, LatinX. Let's add woman for fun.4- Woke ain’t Woke5- Generations6- Anyone and everyone is game for funny7- Covid Pneumonia from Fauci8- Bob Saget: In tragedy there is HOPE.

1- International Comedy2- Been Black and Brooklyn all over the world3- What do they think of us?4- Black Ice5- Celebrity worship6- Friends to the end, sort of.7- It’s my Twitter8- Some good news

1- Insurgence2- Vaccines and Variants3- Billionaires in space4- Schools open. Let's start shooting.5- Schools open. Let's stop teaching.6- Justice vs No Justice in Black and White7- Sports and Science8- Remember the good ole days when Palin was crazy?9- You could be from Florida10- Buy Time11- In tribute to Tutu: here’s Jonathan Butler

1- What happened to news?2- Did the lie become the truth?3- Congress with a conscience4- Gen X, Y, Z and then…5- No really, LA has a culture.6- Dateline the Moon

1- Freedom of religion, as long as its my religion.2- Look at the gun Jesus gave me for Christmas!3- Is it a Dic Pic?3- Science tries again. Science fails again.4- First response is: No5- Perfect wrong number6- Ladies and Gentlemen, I give you Mal Hall.

1- Old Fashioned Stand Up2- A New Variant3- Working with the best4- A Tip on tipping5- My Brother’s in trouble6- Christmas tips you can’t use

1- Rittenhouse: Not Guilty. No Surprise.2- Ahmaud Arbery murderers: Guilty. Surprise.3- When in doubt: SHOOT.4- Can’t go this low5- Oh- uhh, Happy Thanksgiving!

1- Great writers write great2- Yeah, death can be funny.3- Doin' the work4- Speaking for all women5- Sesame Street6- Good news…now don’t let me ruin it.

1- Enough, Aaron2- Joe Rogan is not a scientist, journalist, nor king.3- Anti-Vax for life, which is a short time.4- Ted Cruz insurrection5- Straight White Male Perspective6- What they really say about us7- Some Good News.

1- Memory of a Golden Retriever2- More Marjorie than AOC3- If you mandate, they will quit… or not.4- Welcome Michael Steele

Interview with Jeff Cesario, Writer/Producer/Comic/Dad1- What is wrong with us?2- Adolescent country full of childish men3- A-holes are rewarded4- News is not news, it’s competition.5- Masks, vaccines, and dog s**t

An hour with Writer/Comedian/Actor/Producer Suli McCullough.We talk:1- Writing for the Emmy’s2- Dave Chappelle3- It's all political4- Sports5- SneakersAnd a whole lot in between...6- Oh, and Black hockey players.

1- This is who you are, Gruden.2- The NFL knows. So tell us.3- I’ll be damned, Allen West finds the virus is real.4- Don't tell me what to do with my body while I tell you what to do with your body.5- AHHH Kyrie6- I’m pro-life so go kill yourself, kid.7- Still the GOAT just listen until the end8- Marcus Miller is his name

1- The Talk Radio Experiment2- Nothing Changes3- Recall4- Anti-vax Jesus and the NBA5- Bubba and Michael win one6- Can Tesla afford its racism?7- Bruce’s Beach, that is some prime beachfront property.8- Republicans play stupid as well as the actually do stupid.9- Chris Titus is here. Well, he was there, and now he’s here.

1- Juneteenth2- Put the gun away.3- McConnell is making plans.4- Texas is making a run to catch Florida.5- Go to KBLA1580.COM and listen, please. The App is coming.6- THANK YOU. Really, I mean it, THANK YOU.

1- Some say “Government attacked,” others say “Disorderly Behavior.”2- Fair election. I’ll kill you.3- When used to privilege, equality is discrimination.4- Billionaire money, Thousandaire taxes.5- No racism until 6 months ago.6- Vaccine creates race of Magnetos.

1- Check on a Republican2- Truth? We don't need no stinkin' truth.3- Trust me it's a college4- We're crazy about mental health issues5- Oh, I just remembered we are racist.

1- BANG BANG. Here we go again...2- It was about policing, remember?3- Jan 6? We were hoping you forgot.4- I’m racist so I’ll head to an NBA game. What could happen?!5- SHE'S THE GOAT, DAMMIT.6- Celebrate the stupid

1- Vaccines are dangerous. Now give me that bag of gas.2- I'm free to not wear my mask because I’m not vaccinated… huh?3- Straight white men will be alright4- I deny racism exists so now it goes away, right?5- My grandkid is rich… whew!6- The bible said WHAT?7- KBLA.Com Unapologetically Progressive

1- Pipeline is down. Price is up. Memorial Day is coming.2- Let me fill these gas cans and light this here cigarette.3- Take off that mask.4- Bankrupt? Only morally.5- Hey, kid. Want a gun?6- I’ll be damned. A good guy with a gun.7- Tent City. The good kind.8- Goodbye, Ellen.9- See what had happened was I washed that ticket...

1- Back to work2- Lynching. Fucking LYNCHING.3- Who throws a whopper?4- Critical Race Theory is critical of racists.5- Our only idea is NO.6- Our next Governor7- "But, Your Honor, I have FOXMANIA..."

1- Bad cops and Bad cops2- 100 days 511 to 67. Yep, baby hands wins.3- Damn, they like him. Let's make something up.4- They didn’t mean for Nick Foles to win.5- Damn your newfangled airline, I’ll take a boat.6- You’re fired.7- See we’ve got these ladders….

1- Guilty Guilty Guilty2- Systematic Racism3- Officer Bryan B: The cop we need.4- The Founding Fathers said5- Ben Carson still shucking and jivin'.6- God definitely has a sense of humor7- “Ladders! Get your ladders here! $5 ladders!”

1- Things so bad, killer cop is out of the news2- Another mass shooting... Seems they’re illegal.3- Even Pat Robertson is tired of it.4- Hands up, ah hell, I’ll shoot anyway.5- Back off, cop. I’m white.6- Support which troops?7- Where’s my beachfront property?8- Black Lives work hard too.

1- Mitch Flipped for Coke money2- You wouldn’t want trump to call you a defector...3- Who wants to die now?4- Cop vs Cop, or just the truth?5- You’re fired..6- She didn’t take the money.7 - The Wolfette of Wall Street

1- It’s the Derek Chauvin Trial2- No, we say No. What is it? Doesn’t matter. NO.3- Way to go, Pete.4- Wait, what? They want to vote?5- I vote you don’t fly Delta6- 177- Damn that yoga.8- I have billion minus 130 dollars.

1- Hello, Florida. Joker... Governor... same thing.2- Welcome to Texas. Wait-- Where ya goin'?3- Lyin' Ted tells the truth.4- Republican constitution is pro gun and anti vote.5- She’s not supposed to salute, Stupid.6- Sorry, Jay, I’m not apologizing.

1- A hate crime is not a bad day.2- Domestic Terrorists are White Supremacists.3 - Jen Psaki don’t play.4- Terri Lynn trying to take Karen’s place.5- Reefer Madness6- KBLATALK1580.com

1- Stimulating Stimulus2- I voted NO but that was yesterday3- We’d like some transparency for our fake questions4- Guess who’s voting by mail5- Princess of Pain

1- Welcome to Florida2- Texas is open3- Golden idols made in Mexico4- CPAC and the C is for CULT5- Lyin Ted is lyin again.6- Cancel that order of Freedom Fries.7- Dr. Suess and Mr. Potato Head walk into a bar...

1- He’s only 13. He’s just a boy.2- You took the money. You pay the price.3- Regulation: It saves you cash and kept the lights on.4- The cost of tragedy5- VIP’s for vaccines? Wait- wasn’t it all fake?6- Tiger7- Let's stay fat, America. It's safer.

1- Texas is freezing so Ted goes to Mexico.2- Rush is gone. Guess cancer is real.3- Enough of the former guy4- Do the righting, Tom, you’re the GOAT.5- Pull yourself up? We’re here to push you down.6- Can you retire from what you’ve never done?

1- Grandpa Simpson rambling defense2- We’re impartial so let us help you before we vote not guilty3- You cost me $2 billion. You’re fired!4- Cheney as a voice of Reason????5- The GOAT was out there GOATing. It was Super.6- Pranks gone wild7- Who needs cards when you have a cannon?8- R.I.P., Chick Corea

1- Black History is now. Congrats to Stacy Abrams and BLM on Nobel Prize Nominations.2- You know you’re right when the right is mad at ya.3- McConnell hates that the Dems have learned to be shitty like McConnell.4- Soul Cycle classes do not an educator make.5- Your honor, can I go to Mexico?6- Vaccine and the God Gene7- Don’t poke the GOAT8- Oregon Experiment: This makes too much sense.

1- Biden said his name2- Laser beams, Communists... Hello, Marjorie.3- Got that Hydroxy. Anyone? Anyone?4- Oregon is scary.5- Don’t Game with Gamers.6- You bought your way in, not out.7- Nia Dennis is Magic.8- Father Time is undefeated but he’s against the ropes right, LeBron. Right, Tom.

1- We’ve inaugurated sanity2- Thank you, Amanda Gorman. Black Girl Magic takes over DC.3- Trump slinks out like garbage with over 1 protester4- Caught up in the moment5- Keep Karen in Jail.6- Turtle flips and stupid Cruz7- Tom Won

1- There’s no crying in terrorism.2- I was gonna be brave, seems I forgot my gun.3- GoFundMe needed to buy rubber bullets and tear gas4- Racists anarchists terrorists and thugs5- No sympathy6- Let's try jail time. Real prison time.7- Hawley and Cruz too8- Black on black crime, no. White on white solutions.9- "That’s not who we are..." Yes, it is. Now do better.

1- Treason by any other name2- Remember states rights3- Covidiots of Cali4- NY Karen hiding in Cali5- Socialism for the not-so-rich. The real rich we got covered.6- Threw a pass to help7- Sir Lewis Hamilton

1 - Merry Christmas and Happy Kwanzaa2 - $600 whether you need it or not3 - Where’s that other 700 billion?4 - He almost got right5 - Fraud. You want to talk fraud???6 - Privilege vs Punishment7 - My aunt’s cousin’s stepson’s girlfriend died from thevaccination It's true I read it at Q Anon8 - Wal Mart Justice

1 - Thought it would be quiet2 - BLM Never stop saying it3 - Resist Quit Threaten KKK That's 4 stories4 - Pain Compliance. That’s a thing5 - Good News Giving away billions6 - You can blow up trump plaza7 - Palm Beach HOA don’t play

1 - Say his name Casey Christopher Gordon2 - Be consistent in your BS3 - You’re a hacker, or you have google4 - Who needs republicans with Dems like these5 - Mandatory Retirement is a thing6 - Bill Gates is right and he invented it7 - Listen to Coach K8 - Intergalactic Space Federation. Why the hell not?9 - Is this who we’ve become. No its who we are

1- Go back to your baby desk and watch Schoolhouse Rock.2- I just need to practice lying.3- Candace, please shut up for Christmas.4- You’re under arrest for spreading a REAL virus5- Rolling coal for assholes6- Do not say stay home from your Mexican resort7- Bankruptcy to billions. NICE.

1- This show has been cancelled. They all are.2- Do as I say not as I do.3 - If it's leaky, get a new one.4- He’s lying. We’re FOX News. We know lying.5- Symmetry6- That’s SIR Lewis Hamilton, at least it should be.

1- Biden/Harris WIN2- All it took was counting the votes3- There are doctors on Biden's Covid team. It's getting crazy already.4- NO, don’t feel sorry for Trumpers!5- FOX NEWS experiments with truth6- We are unblocked7- Don’t forget the Progressives8- Funny thing happened next to the porn shop...

1- Who Won? Who Knows?2- We closed Trump U. How is the Electoral College still open?3- Rain, snow, sleet, & hail? YES. Ballots? NO.4- More states legalize much needed weed5- Even in California racism wins, again.6- Same senate, different day.7- The militia is illegal. Someone tell law enforcement!8- Kanye! Say it ain’t so!

1- Die for dear leader, or at least hospitalized. 2- Trump Office of Science?3- Daddy Putin gives baby hands a talking to4- Handmaiden on Supreme Court 5- Bring your gun to the polls: what could go wrong?6- Smaller gub’mint unless it’s my gub’mint7- Say his name, Walter Wallace Jr, again8- Dodgers win the series 

1- the Anti-Endorsement2- We’ll do anything to keep these courts unfair.3- Get him with his science4- So how does this Twitter thing work again?5- We are the real men and we’re scared.6- So you say my boss is on this interweb thing. Uh-oh...

1- Sham Hearings2- What if she were Muslim?3- “She's a mom and a Marine.” EXACTLY.4- Don't drop your ballot in the box5- Vote Vote Vote. Drive’s 'em crazy.6- Lakers win, LeBron wins7- Watching Lewis Hamilton is watching history8- Rona. Your bubble is not America, not even ‘merikkka.

1- VP debate: let’s get a ref.2- That fly was doing what flies do3- That militia is a gang4- You’re charged with murder, uh... and fired.5- No Nobel prize for you

1- Trump gets Covid… I think.2- Debates? You ever played chess with a pigeon?!3- 4 million people, 1 ballot box. No voter suppression here.4- She went to Rhodes College so she’s a Rhodes scholar, next question.5- Rode across the west. Flood, depression, hope, and funny.6- Back to the virtual world

1- Her Life Mattered2- Wanton Endangerment of Justice3- Truth? About White Supremacists? What government is this?4- What IS a hate crime, Iowa?5- RIP to the Notorious RBG6- The race to hypocrisy will be won Saturday7- Dave has done it again8- I guess I haven't, I’m underrated9- Jesus told you to wear a mask

1- I’m safe. You... not so much.2- Four in 1 equal whopper3- It will get cooler4- Damn Antifa and their unknown cars5- Slow that Camry down6- NO ONE WANTS COPS SHOT.7- It’s not LeBron’s fault.8- I am Groot.

1- Law and Order my azz2- Stars and Stripes forever3- This is what the players did4- Black on black crime of the highest order5- Too many, too soon

1- Jacob Blake: Say his name.2- Kyle Rittenhouse is a criminal.3- Athletes matter. Thank you all.4- Shuckin' and Jivin' for the RNC5- Anti-mask parents schooled by kids

1- The speeches tho2- Buy Goodyear3- Bannon fraud4- Shut up, Lil' Marco.5- Bye, Laurie.6- Never shut up and dribble.7- A pussy is tougher than you.

1- Biden/Harris2- Losing from the front3- I got nothing.

1- 3 Men and a Baby2- Sacrifice for Dear Leader3- Demon sex makes me sleepy4- Please keep your crazy behind the blue line5- "Everybody hates me." Yeah.6- President Pelosi 20217- $600? No. A few billion here and there? No problem.8- Sports is back, sort of.9- She should probably find something new

1- RIP John Lewis. Stay out, Mitch McConnell.2- My quote is Fake News3- He caught the Fake Virus4- Old Time Religion: Now with New and Improved Virus!5- Mask wars6- 'Rona in sports and strip clubs but try the wings7- The Silent Majority

1- I’m back to new normal2- He passed the test, so did a brick.3- A Real American Hero4- Teachers fighting to save kids. Governor, not so much...5- Dr Fauci's worst worst nightmare6- No, Kanye, you idiot. NO.7- The Happiest place on earth and there’s sports.8- Thank You, John Lewis. R.I.P.

1 - Obama didn’t test for a disease that didn’t exist. Damn him...2 - Game show host... doctor... same thing.3 - If the say open schools, you better close the schools.4 - If you volunteer for the virus, it isn’t tragic to lose you.5 - Let's have a convention. Pandemic, uh, I’ll skype in.6 - Black lives don’t matter, especially not my husband's.

1- Tragically, we’re shooting again.2- Leading off stupid, the undisputed champ, Trump.3- Kanye, enough clown shit.4- Can’t cancel Hamilton5- The indestructible 20’s6- Brain eating amoeba will starve in Florida7- Bison don’t like selfies8- My Hulk mask is manly, bitches.9- Karen don’t know looting10- No mask, no worries. My store deals in dead folksclothes.

1- Texas finds science.2- Florida doesn’t.3- God’s perfect breathing apparatus4- Karen and Ken bought a gun5- It wasn’t a hate noose, it was a plain ole noose6- The dog whistle is getting louder7- R.I.P. Khari Parker

1- I may get cancelled2- The truth shall set you free3- I was fine until you tested me4- Wish I was wrong5- A new low... Again6- Tik Tok kids7- Go get em, kids. You’re better than we are.8- Take care, D.L.

1- Atlanta on fire2- Hanging is always suspicious3- Juneteenth dog whistles and orange stupidity4- Please tell The 'Souf they lost5- Sorry, Karen, I’m not quick to forgive.6- Can we get marketing on this defund thing?7- Corona cases up. We ain't staying inside.8- 8:46, watch it. Dave Chappelle is the G.O.A.T.

1- Long week2- Boogaloo boys are doing CrossFit with Meghan McCain for Trump. That’s the first 5.3- Fox News is still Fox News4- Sports accusations, apologies, and racism5- Shut up and dribble? No, Laura you should just shut up.6- Police in trouble on video. Keep breaking laws and heads on video.7- Black Live Matter Plaza8- Ella Jones, the first Black Mayor of Ferguson.9- Rahul Dubey: An American Hero

1- Murder, riots, shootings at the beach... it’s only been a week.2- George Floyd murder, after Aubrey murder after, Taylor murder... Can’t keep up.3- You realize thugs and looters come in white too?4- Hey, Kanye, listen to Taylor.5- Twitter says, "Shut up Trump."6- It’s not the testing, stupid.7- Amy can’t go to the park8- You do realize there are black men in the NBA, don’t you?9- Amy can’t go to the park

1- Dog whistles, I mean, racist signals everywhere2- He ain’t bright3- Obama congratulates graduates4- Does he stay or does he go now?5- Religion vs science: You lose.6- A Florida man. Imagine that.7- She flies with with the birds

1- I doth protest2- Bill Gates is not out to kill you3- Call it what it is. Racist, misogynistic baby talk.4- Obamagate is real. Real BS.5- Karen Karen Karen6- Real heroes being heroes

1- Been busy. Only 1/2 an episode.2- Thanks for letting me be myself3- Mask politics4- Mask Killing5- Masking common sense6- Justice for Ahmaud Arbery7- Just be nice, dammit. BE NICE.

1- Don’t be like Mike. Pence, that is.2- "I was just kidding or lying or dumb."3- We’re #1. One a million and counting...4- We can re-open, soon as I get over this cough...5- Ahh, New Zealand...6- Let’s open the gym because I own gyms.7- The world is sad and disappointed but oddly notsurprised8- Not that Tupac, the other Tupac.

1- Protest. Liberate. Let our stupid run free.2- No, you’re not slaves. You’re fools.3- This is a test, Georgia. It is only a test.4- Vegas is a gamble5- Who finances this operation freedom thing?6- My Pillow, My Masks, My Money7 - Big business is small business8- I can get by on 47 million9- I didn’t get a billion dollars by helpin' people.10- Stupid will always survive

1- Little orange baby throws a tantrum2- Council of idiots to open ‘Merica3- Propaganda checks4- Your stupidity is absolute, your power is not.5- Second Amendment vs Tenth Amendment: his followers haveread neither6- Damn you, Chinese racists.7- Damn you, NASCAR racists.8- Thank you, Jackie Robinson9- Australia don’t give a fuck

1- Scoreboard Celebrities2- Hey, Jared. Yes, they’re ours. It's in the title.3- It ain’t 5G4- Ok, churches. God gave us brains. Let's use them.5- Never apologize for mocking stupidity6- Madea is an angel7- Lean on Me. Thank you, Bill Withers.

1- Let's drop his ratings.2- Stay inside and out of Florida.3- Keep your distance. Really.4 - Yes. We are that bad.5- What are you doing?6- If you’re walking the streets of Brooklyn in a plasticbubble, you’re winning.7- I hope there’s hope

1- No leadership2- Left Africa to stand in line3- Keep laughing4- Scientists are smarter than politicians5- Did i mention no leadership?6- KUDOS to the food chain people7- Everything is cancelled8- Don't shoot. Don’t drink the bleach.9- How about that lack of leadership?

1- Ship to LA to FL to LA to MIL to LA to TX to Cape Town!2- Super Tuesday3- Please support your democrat.4- First symptom is stupid5- I’ll be back.

1- This avoiding the constitution is hard2- Bernie is 1st. No one cares.3- Klobuchar is 3rd. Everyone cares.4- Racist calls racist a racist5- I don’t need a salary. I will need some benefits.6- I cannot take treatment without Dear Leader7- I graduated from Reagan National U, if I can find it8- Thank you, Tiger, for making us humans feel better.

1- Why watch? I knew he was lying.2- Iowa app down. Now let’s shut down the caucus.3- I’ll be damned. Mayor Pete is Gay.4- Yes, the halftime show was hot. Get over it.5- Respect Kobe. Be a dad.6- Black History Month. Try us. You’ll like us.

1- Goodbye, Kobe.2. More Impeachment BS

1- I screwed up, it's ep 2642- Happy? I’m not sure...3- It's not WW3, it is stupid ass dick wavin.4- There's nothing the cult won’t forgive5- Yeah, Harvey, it's time.6- Comedy is just fine7- Wanted: Heiress. You never see that ad.8- Elizabeth Warren won the VIEW

1 - Happy Impeachment Day. 2 counts of GUILTY.2 - What else ya need?3 - My jokes stopped at treason but now I’m back.4 - It's called charity, not a tax write off. Just give, assholes.5 - He shot the horses6 - She doesn’t need exercise

1– African American History Museum. Go learn something. I did.2– I support Gabrielle Union and Jay Leno.3– History will show that we really screwed up.4– He said they wouldn’t laugh. They’re laughing.5– Power of the presidency6– Kamala Harris out. Who’s in?7– DO NOT BUY HER A PELETON

1– Impeachment daily wrap up2– Republican witnesses can't pretend they didn’t see this3– FOX news needs a black or brown criminal quick4– Wanted: Incompetent, hateful, liars. Please send resume to 1600 Pennsylvania Ave.5– The earth is flat. Science is dead.6– NBA, FORMULA 1, and other sports

1- Don’t like results? You must be Republican.2- Socialist, Progressive, Corporate... I don’t care. Just win, baby.3- Let's see some Obama balloons4- Polarization, yeah, Fact vs Fiction5- Yeah the cities win

1- Even when good, he’s bad2- Lock him up3- Deficit? Nothing to see here. Well, actually 1 trillion things to see here.4- Jesus needed a soundtrack5- We are on fire. That is not good.6- We are inclusive in our racial ignorance7- Survey says: Thanks!

1- Trump Free Zone. Nope. 2- Can’t we just combine them and build one? 3- I like Bill 4- Don’t give up, even when there's reason to give up. 5- Like father like son. Trump Jr. a.k.a. Son of Dumb Ass

1– He’s unhinged2– My great and unmatched wisdom does not exist3– Guilty 10 years4– Dog lives matter5– It should pay to go to college6– Rich assholes now have a syndrome. They’ve earned it.

1– We got the JAZZ2– Who built this house?3– Treason: plain and simple4– Start the impeachment, please.5– If they or them say so, they are.6– Once you bite a camel's balls…

1- Well I’ll be damned... Kavanaugh is a slimeball. 2- “Stay Pending Appeal” needs to stay out of Supreme court 3- When will we question the liar? 4- US to Kuwait by way of Scotland? Let's try that in WAZE. 5- Debate Debate Debate 6- 14 days = 5 years 7- Play ball and please stay out of jail.

1– If you don’t like it, Don’t Watch it.2– 53 Dead: A new record3– American Airlines, It's not just me.4– Stand your ground = manslaughter5– Finally a bad one dies6– The activities fund was used for some hella bad activity

1- Anti-Fa is not pro-terror. It's ANTI-FASCIST. 2- 2019 or 1955 3- Go see The Look. Spoiler: black people you’ve seen it already 4- Jay Z and the NFL 5- Simone Biles is the GOAT 6- RIP Cedric Benson

1- 4 shootings over 40 dead, if you’re keeping score.2– Yes, it's racism. Yes, it's Trump. And it was Dayton, not Toledo.3– No, it wasn’t video games or gay marriage.4– The Times drops the ball5– Now a word from a real President. Thank you, Mr. Obama.6– Nothing changes. No one leads.7– He’ll still win again8– Heir's property is still your property9– Back on da road

1- Crazy travels2- It's hard to defend my racist.3- Pelosi vs The Squad: Trump wins.4- Send pedophiles to gen pop!5- Heirs property is real wealth6- Who does he play for?7- Have FUN.

1- One episode, 10 episodes, or all the episodes... THANKS FOR LISTENING!2- We’re debating early3- Couldn’t be a scumbag, she’s not my type.4- Republican power forever5- Gimme that blood. You have no secrets.6- Hello, Oregon. We ain’t voting. We got gunz.7- Conservative comics getting paid. I can't do it.8- You’re under arrest for turning in the guns he was gonna shoot you with.9- You’re under arrest for being shot in your pregnant stomach.10- We’d televise your arrest but NRA TV is BROKE.

1- Sarah Huckabee Sanders is gone. It's true.2- Pride? NO. Cuba? NO. Pelosi? NO. Foreign interference in elections? I’m ok with that.3- Poor red states. I’m not offering sympathy. I’m saying we have poor ass red states.4- Alabama hates abortion so much they gave back free money5- Your baby’s dead, here’s the bill.6- A new low in humanity7- Bullets! Get your bullets! Hurry up! Common sense is coming!8- WHEN THEY SEE US: please see this.

1- Still Shooting2- I’m not sorry, suckers, give money.3- You voted against your life4- Women are not the enemy. They’re just attacked.5- Commander in Cheat

1- Talibama Abortion2- Pro Life? No, Pro Money.3- Your flight's delayed by a murderer4- We’re under attack by us5- Space Force6- Terror plot in comedy7- Real superiors prosecute scumbags8- Don't buy ‘Merican in ‘Merica

1- School shooting heroes saw we need them2- World Cup goes to Socks3- White house champions, and I mean WHITE.4- Tiger Tiger Tiger5- Hardly Davidson6- Billion dollar bum7- Commander in Cheat

1- Biden without Obama?2- First Power the Policy3- Disney CEO is richer than Iron Man4- Hire your own lawyer5- I didn’t know breaking the law was illegal6- Wait, the law applies to me too? But I was just being racist.7- Move the campus? No move your ass.8- W.W.A. Women Whipping Ass9- "Jesus socks! Get your Jesus socks here!"

1– If I keep lying, the only truth is I’m lying.2– Don’t like lies? Well, we’ve got hypocrisy.3– Candace says Hitler wasn’t bad, at home4– Different color, same hypocrisy5– Kudos to the Champions6– 2 Arkansas men should be in Florida

1– Forget Mueller, Get elected2– J.G. Wentworth, get your money now3– A.O.C. and the science of a takedown4– Jussie, W.T.F.?!5– Tournament Time6– Let's play nice

1- I paid my money and my kids goin'.2- When you’re an idiot, everything is complicated.3- I can see the prices going up.4- It doesn’t take a resolution to know it's wrong.5- Man up, like ballplayers do.6- Ignore the barrier, feed the cat.

1- Glad he didn’t know my secrets2- No f**ks given3- Black friend for hire4- Guarantee your loss to AOC5- Kid sex: Sadly, it' a thing.6- DO NOT order the salsa extra spicy

1– Jussie Smollett: ASSHOLE2– State of Emergency over at the buffet3– They were right. There was voter fraud.4– Zion, Hope You're okay. College sports isn’t.5– White is not a race.6– Remember Black Panther

1– Dry Land2– State of the Union3– She Clapped back4– Fundamentally Broken5– Tough Choices6– Guess I’ll take old racism over new racism7– Let America Be America Again

1- Shut up, Shutdown2- It's just a Friday3- The real evil4- MAGA hoods5- White terrorist6- Don’t mess with the AOC7- Brady Brady, it's always Brady

1- New Mac, old problems2- It's raining3- Trump, Pelosi. Pelosi, Trump.4- Single issue luxury5- Rolls Royce luxury6- Thank you, Ms. Cortez.7- Thank you, government workers.8- 27 lbs. of mac and cheese... Only in ‘merica.9- The best a man can get?10- I’m gonna name my podcast after Obama too

1- Comics on Comics2- Tiffany can bomb.3- Louis can try jokes.4- Burr is not racist.5- Trump is racist.6- Let's open the government, then judge jokes.7- New laws?

1 - Buy the Wall, Buy the Wall2 - Tucker advertisers not dirty3 - Hate is a real consequence4 - Mar A Lago is a mar a dump5 - Banking While Black6 - $7 is charity, right?7 - Toys for kids is real charity8 - What they think of us9 - RIP and thank you, Ms. Marshall

1- Didn’t make Top 102- Carnegie Hell No3- Wanted: Ambassador to UN. No experience necessary.4- Wanted: White House Chief of Staff. No experience necessary.5- Biblical lies to political lies, we’re moving forward.6- Walgreens bad, CVS good7- The charge is MURDER.8- Influencers influenced by lack of intelligence9- Don’t know the hustle10- Unless you can warm up, Chicago, I quit.11- Lebron is LeGood

1– No news is good news. There’s just no good news.2– Good guy with gun is black guy with gun is dead3– Racism still works in Mississippi.4– The art of the deal closed the plant.5– Tears over tear gas6– Sinclair propaganda7– Terrorist or mentally ill? I dunno, what color is he?8– Fed Ex: We also deliver ass-whoopins.

1- Not even fire can make him human.2- My own private fireman.3- Well I tried to vote...4- Shoot first, ask questions never.5- What, no coffee? Shoot.6- What was she wearing?7- She wore a hoodie.8- Thank you, Stan Lee.

1- The Blue Wave2- I love the women3- Governors, Gays, and Goodbye, Evil4- White men are still angry5- Thank you, Ms. Biles.

1- Shout out to the funny2- The right to life isn't yours.3- You might not vote in Georgia if...4- Bombed5- Her true color is black-face.6- We've reached a new low.7- Buy yourself a town

1- Op-Ed is an old school tweet2- Tell Melania that Kanye wrote "Gold Digger"3– Babysitting while black4– Guilty. It's about time. Guilty.5– "Help, Siri, It’s a cop."6– Hurricane Michael was not caused by gays7– Extreme your selfie8– Two contractors walked into a bar

1– Rich, white, male, privilege2- Kanye: crazy, black, male privilege3– Different kind of crazy4– Baseball. Thank God, there’s baseball.

1– It may be bad but he’ll make it worse.2- Damn that Helen Keller.3- My racism isn’t racist.4- Skinhead resume.5- Thank you, Dr. Phil.6- Yoga is out to get you.7- Unreal speed, Kenya, I salute you.

1- Do you know a law?2- Your home is my home, so I’ll shoot you.3- Serena is right. Game, set, and match.4- Sacrifice everything. Yes, he did.5- My Nikes will be wearing Nikes.

1- “Don’t monkey this up.” You just did.2- Not qualified at all. Welcome to the administration!3- The accountant is ready to talk.4- Leave my wife out of it, even though I said she did it.5- Mass shooting again...6- Cop found… guilty?7- Hey, officers, there’s money in killin' them negroes.8- Mollie Tibbetts and Nia Wilson both matter.9- Aretha Franklin, Neil Simon, and John McCain. We miss you all.10- Tiger loses off the course again11- Serena, you are a super hero. Wear what you want.

1- Thanks, Florida.2- Unhinged... I got tapes.3- Truth is Not Truth. Thats true.4- Master race? You can’t get into Master Bedroom5- Stephen Miller is a verified hypocrite6- Those priests are still at it. Now where are the good Catholics?7- Don’t see Billionaires Club. Go see BlackkKlansman8- Tiger is back9- Midseason form: Go Raiders

1 – Armando Frank was killed on YouTube. No indictment necessary.2 – LeBron opened a school. People got mad. What The Fuck?!3 – Don’t count your chickens, or Ostrich as the case may be.4 – Wilbur Ross is pulling a Madoff5 – Trump tweets beyond… oh screw it, he’s at it again.6 – I lost my invisible plane again. Damn Where did I park it?7 – Q Anon is coming or maybe… it's here.8 – Nia Wilson. Say Her Name.9 – The NRA is crying snowflake tears.10 – The only thing worse than being called a racist is being a stupid racist.

1- He would, or he wouldn’t, would he, wouldn’t he?2- Treason? Nah, just Obama.3- Jesus was ‘Merican.4- I met James Comey. He’s tall.5- Standing ground… again.6- Sorry To Bother You

1- Mr. Putin, your pet is at it again.2- Oh great, now hate crimes come in all colors.3- Here comes da judge.4- A prosecutor who should be prosecuted5- Rich famous, and now self-made.6- Really self-made mayor of S.F..7- There are 64 million reasons to teach your kid soccer.

1. This decision makes sense. Just ask God.2. Benefits! Get your free benefits here!3. You will be sentenced to 30 years.4. Horrible women5. Permit Patty, Mike Huckabee, and other non-racist racists.6. Life in the poor lane7. Tweet of the Week

1- I was wrong. Don’t arrest me. 2- Horrible people, I’m noticing a pattern. 3- Locking up kids. 4- Control costs more than money. 5- Take some R&R and get laid black

1- Hello, Officer, there's an NFL playing burglar outside.2- If Canada is angry, it's you, not Canada.3- Will they or won't they? Only Singapore knows.4 - Piece of cake as long as it's not gay cake.5- Welcome, champions. Well not you, or you, or those guys.6- Tweet of the week

1- America First, whether we like it or not.2- New police tactics seem to match old police tactics.3- M.A.G.A. with no jobs or hospitals or housing or…4- NFL: No Fans League5- I’ll be damned, Rachel, someone did buy the book.6- Go! Knights! Go!7- Stacy Abrams for Governor

1- Stop calling cops. 2- I’ll be at the cookout. 3- Doing everything at the police station. 4- Gas is going up. Where’s that coal powered car? 5- Iran, Jerusalem, confusion, war. 6- I’ll bet on that. 7- Georgia on my mind. 8- The Miserable States of America

1- Bad comes in 3s2- Moving: now where’d you put that?3- James Shaw is a HERO.4- 80,000 good guys with guns can't match one black hero.5- Speaking of heroes... Michelle Wolf is mine.6- Goodbye, Bill.7- We told you he’s an idiot.8- I’m just hanging around Starbucks.

1- Moving blues2- The What House?3- The new normal4- Wah wah. I want my hate treated fairly.5- Fox News would not like M.L.K.6- M.L.K. would not like 20187- Baseball snow days

1- March For Our Lives2- Why is Rick talking?!3- You look like my daughter.4- Thou Shalt Not-- Ahhh, go ahead.5- Yes, we forgave Bill. He rebalanced the budget.6- Trump Friends7- Naomi Wadler's life matters.8- Play Ball!

1- So while I was porn-- I mean, Storm surfing...2- Too big to fail? Let's get smaller.3- Make my wall a fence.4- There's got to be a lazy one around here somewhere.5- We will return after March Madness. Hey, who broke my bracket?

1 – The Oscars.2 – We’re shooting. Not a movie, a school.3 – In God we trust. We also trust the AR-15.4 – Life is sacred. Well, for the baby Mom, not so much.5 – Coal + Steel = jobs in 19516 – Fake Science, Fake experiment, Fake whatever you got.7 – Trade you a Mexican for Somali.8 – My chair cost more than your chair.9 – Marry me baby, no really marry me, while you’re still a baby.

1- Yeah, there’s money in it. Grow Up. 2- I’m paid to talk about not paying college athletes. 3- The pros get it. 4- I love Olympians. 5- I gotta learn to Curl. 6- Kudos, Ms. Vonn. 7- Hey, Fox News, it's called freedom of speech, shut up and dribble that! 8- Dwyane Wade just dropped the mic on that issue. 9- Lauren Gibbs takes the high road and does the Olympic ideal proud. 10- James Wallace Jr., call me Bubba. Not here because of race. He’s here to race.

1- Unplugged and I like it.2- Little said, Nothing done.3- School shooting again.4- "Backpacks! Got those bulletproof backpacks here!"5- I’m not sure who’s insane: him or US.6- I’m going to Wakanda.7- Black Panther All Star Game.

1- Dial Up News.2- State of the Union.3- Obama, would you stop it?4- Today, I’m a Philly fan.5 - Dry land is in my future.

1- Shut 'em down.2- My grandfather had the answer.3- Making America great again costs money.4- We fold.5- I’m 6’3, 239 lbs. Real news of fake weight.6- Will someone tell tubby the women were marching against him.7- What’s wrong with the racist misogynistic party I supported?8. Wanna borrow some cash?

1- Smart people are too smart to say it.2- You didn’t believe that wall story, did you?3- You wanted the con.4- Nice, sweet racists.5- "We was just bein' ‘Merikkkan."6- A tough job to do well.7- Ain't easy being white.

1- Yes, California is high. LEGALLY.2- Buttons3- I resolve to get rich4- It's a new year, I’m shipping milk and pumping gas.5- Jesus Coins6- Hey, Brother, can I build you a statue?

1- Taxing: the long con.2- Listen to Pop.3- Bye, Felicia.4- 7 dirty, I mean, intelligent words.5- Spicer and the Mooch6- Alternative facts from Fake News7- Yep, that’s a hurricane.8- Guns! Guns! Guns!9- Summer of Supremacy10- Are you sure about that whole Civil War thing?11- They all agree to attack the intern12- #metoo13- Don’t judge me.14- Aaron (the Good Judge) and Jay-Z and Black princesses and Wonder Woman and Star Wars and other random good.15- Don’t give up…yet.

1- I’m wrong. Thank you, Alabama.2- They cry voter fraud because none of their disenfranchisement worked.3- Trump unfit to clean toilets. We knew it, but it's still nice to hear.4- Fear is down and so are gun prices.5- Viral video = cash. Hmmm...6- Happy Holidays, Ivanka.

1- Goodbye, Al Franken. 2- Goodbye, Trent. Who? Who the hell is Trent?! No one cares. 3- The morality of politics or politics of morality. 4- A black life mattered. 5- I apologize, Ms Vonn. 6- For rent: Your Neighborhood.

1- Thanks for nothing, Tiger.2- No pie for you.3- Couldn’t make it through one speech... Pocahontas? Really?!4- Date 14 year olds or arrest guys trying to date 14 year olds? WWJD?5- Keep my net neutral!6- Warriors did it to me again. Kudos, K.D.. Now please call Tiger.

1. I’m back from vacation.2. Citizen of the Year.3. Lookin' for the good.4. Trickle down again.5. International House of Twitter Feuds.6. Vigorous Denial.7. It's ok. Joseph was 107 when he met Mary.8. This week in sexual harassment.9. Is it worth it? Ahhh, just blame Hillary.10. Clippers losing, Trickle Down Economics: Welcome to the bad 80’s.

1- Mass Murder in Church.2- Thoughts, prayers, and other Top 10 hits.3- Hey, FB, track dis!4- "Donna Brazile, thank you." Signed, the Republicans.5- Terrorize NY? The city keeps running.6- There is peace in the force and on Twitter.7- Public schools to private prisons.8- Yeah, Ben, you don’t know s**t.9- Happy Holidaze.

1. Happy Indictment Day!2. Gone to Canada, home to same ole things.3. Weekly White Supremacist4. Bump Stop ain't stopped5. Football, politics: same nothing6. Sexual harassment goes male.7. Mr. Trudeau, Let Me In.8. Thank God for Baseball.9. Lewis Hamilton: Champion

1- Another shooting but we’re not anti-gun.2- Thoughts and prayers for sale.3- Hey, kids, go to CEO school.4- Pence is Anti-NFL. NFL is Anti-Pence.5- Mississippi is Anti-you.6- Ok, maybe it is biblical but the bible wasn’t anti-everything.7- They’re even Anti Anti-Nazi.8- R.I.P., Ralphie.

1– Misdirection worked.2- Respect the flag (available on t-shirts, boxers, or briefs)!3- Dan Gilbert offended by those more racist than he.4- President's Cup dedicated to Puerto Rico but not filled with drinking water.5– Michael Che killed it, bitches.6- 8 years? Not one N bomb?7– The Juice is Loose.

1- Take a knee.2- Pop is WOKE.3- Sadly, Katrina is now Puerto Rican.4- Russians Emails? Puerto Rico? Health Care? Nope, let's cry about football.

1- 9/11: We remember and thank you to the heroes.2- Hurricanes bring out the worst, the best, and the worst again.3- 8 year old hanged. That's attempted murder.4- BLM leadership, Lets pick the worst person again.5- It IS rocket science.6- Respect the working dog.7- One good asshole.

1- Have a wonderful flood!2- That’s what the Government does.3- Lock the church, there’s a flood out there.4- The Big Lie is just that.5- Don’t take away my dream.6- My sword is bigger than yours.

#192: Nothing to See Here by Alonzo Bodden

1- Uncivil war.2- Trump: the alt-President.3- They need us. We don’t need them.4- Stupid in all colors.

1- Oh Canada.2- What I did this summer.3- Healthcare: here, gone, and back again.4- W.W.E. Trump wants war.5- Opiod… Crisis?6- Some good news.7- Then there’s Florida...

1- Canadian news.2- Were you at the meeting?3- Secret plans.4- Just For Laughs.

1- Twitter fight as news is fake news.2- Unexpected high road.3- Independence Is Un’merrikkkan.4- Left vs Right, right?5- We OD’d on Party Before solution.6- Thou Shalt Not Steal, not even for a hobby.

1- CNN No.2- Insult. Lie. Repeat.3- Justice for "lady parts."4- Healthcare reform is sick.5- Just get a better job.6- I don't understand.7- We’re #1.8- Deadly Stupid.9- Goodbye and Good Luck, CP3.

1- 'Dem chickens done come home.2- Outrage? No, just mildly upset.3- Black Lives Matter. We will not go away.4- Beauregard, this here black woman’s got some questions for you.5- Are you 1%? Check your paystub here.6- Ultimate Fathers Day gift.

1- Comey talks. We listen. Nothing changes.2- It's tough to be president the first time.3- Educated brainwashing (you got it, right kids?).4- Green Cards made in China.5- Ethics, now there’s a high bar, laying on the ground.6- Don’t get sick, Ohio. We need your votes.7- Fly 'em if ya got 'em. Damn that government control.8- House what?9- Captain Obvious goes to science class.10- Nascar, here we come.

1- Thank you, Veterans.2- BMW’s in a red state, stupid.3- Obama’s Navy4- Portland heroes: the silence was deafening.5- Lets talk TREASON where’s that hangin rope6- Nance’s Law7- FBI means don’t fuck with them.8- "Trump a complete Disaster," says the other orange guy.9- Body slam to a win.10- Racisms mixed with racists mixed with racists' history.11- Tiger, you need Jesus.12- R.I.P., Frank Deford. Thank you, Sir.

1- Another terror attack.2- Goodbye, Nicky Hayden.3- Pro Life for all Life.4- Just got back from Middle East.5- I promise not to keep promises.6- Black lives still don’t matter.7- The Elephant in the room is called Justice.

1- Showboatin' with big hands will get you fired.2- Hey Russia, guess what I heard.3- Putin says he’ll tell you about secret conversation with no secrets.4- Russia Smussia, are my taxes going down?5- Remember the good ol' days when a potato could bring you down?6- Escape to the NBA.

1- Vive Le France!2- Sally Yates owns Cruz.3- Comey fired. Yeah, it was the emails.4- Hiding in the bushes.5- SNL can’t keep up.6- Sorry, Swami. Condolences to Chris Berman.

1- 100 days of nothing.2- Can we get that Constitution out of the way?3- Pakistan is in me and out of me.4- Boston Racist? Uh YEAH.5- Apple, I just don’t have enough devices.6- My FB advice is don’t take FB advice.

1- I need a "Where’s my Carrier?" app.2- Let's go back to the 50’s.3- Segregation and secretarial pools.4- No Latinos, no Muslims, and just a few commies.5- Reefer Madness.6- You don’t need the internet that you’re using to listen to this.7- Yoga: Exercise for heathens. You find God in church where he belongs.8- I’m going to Pakistan.

1- Don’t bomb Syria. Save it for me.2- Real Presidents drop bombs.3- Coming to a Holocaust Center near you.4- United: You paid for a seat, the police beatings are free.5- Supreme Court Justice thanks the Senate. Now we know who you are.6- Obama forcing Trump to play golf repeatedly at our expense. Trump knows who we are.

1- UNC is #1!2- School is like UBER, so you can’t go.3- My bible says, "Go Nuclear."4- I’ll hunt you in your sleep when it's safe.5- In the long run, would you like to be shot, stabbed, or beaten?6- No, Rachel, you’re not Nigerian either.

1- You sick people are not Making America Great.2- I’ll investigate, if its ok with you, boss.3- Hey, Tomi, turns out they hate women too. Who knew?!4- No leggings except on supermodels.5- Our bad service is better than your bad service.6- Everything great in 7.1 seconds.7- Vegas, baby, Vegas! Get the handcuffs.8- Swipe right for NBA.

1- Can’t shake with little hands.2- Treason? Don’t worry, I got a Supreme Court guy.3- We’re moving on in.4- I got a little Texas in me.5- Artificial Intelligence is sexy.

1- Sorry about Trump... That’s False.2- You’re Fired.3– Captain Obvious. Hey, I’m in jail.4- Get Out, King Kong.5- Billion Dollar bracket.6- Customer is king.

1- Trump behaved...2- Well... for 2 days then Obama tapped something.3- Who didn’t talk to Russia?!4- Ben Carson: Now my day is ruined.5- Repeal healthcare, my day is worse.6- Burlington was nice.7- In my country, Glock equals confidence.8- Did I mention that asshole Ben Carson?

1- Great show I didn’t see.2- Gary from Chicago is da man.3- I wouldn't do dinner and neither will he.4- You don’t agree.5- What level is your racism?6- I agree with W.7- Shaqtin' a fool.

1- Everyone’s protesting, No one is listening.2- You get what you vote for.3- Sweden’s fake attack not covered by real news.4- Don’t listen to my boss.5- NBA protests against Defense.6- Spring training, HOPE.7- John Wick vs Jason Bourne

1- Who you calling illegal?!2- Chicken costs how much?3- 2 Sessions.4- Publik Skools in trouble.5- You weren’t gonna drink that water were you?6- We’re all on TV.7- I am not Atlanta.8- Goodbye, Al Jarreau. Thank You.

1- Jazz meets Country in Mexico.2- Trump news again.3- Pray for me.4- Frederick Douglas saves victims of Bowling Green Massacre.5- Go Falcons!

1- The crowd was as small as your hand.2- The alternative fact is...3- Women marched for women, not against you.4- Supremely bad nominees.5- That SuperBowl thing.

1- Great Americans Day my ass2- Do something.. Oh wait you did.3- Nice Klavern you have there.4- Let's grab a pussy.5- You see, what bully means is...6- Yacht racing? YEP.7- Lamar Odom, make Reality TV great again? Please.

1- Off to a horrific start. 2- Then it got worse. 3- The answer is no ladies. 4- Me & Lindsay Graham. Never thought I'd say that. 5- She’s off the Kool Aid. 6- Golden Globes Gold. 7- Fix my teleprompter. 8- 80 years of Spam.

1-Goodbye 2016, you killed. 2- Not all Trump, I hope. 3- Now he sends Russians home? 4- Conspiracy and crazy playing ball together. 5- Edward R Murrow is spinning in his grave. 6- Sports, that’s right, sports.

1- Person of the year not NICE person of the year2- The Russians have attacked, I mean Hacked3- The Death of Kindness4- Hidden Figures you should know

1- Trump calls Taiwan2- In other Tweets3- I doth protest4- Stand your ground5- I see your Prius and I raise you a Bolt6- Tiger's back7- I don't care what you say, those are leggings

1- Happy Thanksgiving, I hope2- I don't need education in education to run education3- Security? We’re going to need some money4- Being President is good for business5- Kris Humphries? What??6 - Merry Christmas go buy her a Lexus and get that G wagon for yourself

1- Who’s happy? Where they at?2- Cabinet of Deplorables3- No, its not OK4- I can’t make it better5- Leave my TV at home

1 - Damn...I thought I was wrong about the Cubs2 - First 100 daze3 - I need a truck and a gun

1 - There might be something that may have to do with the thing, maybe2 - Hillary might be only woman that doesn’t have email of Weiner’s weiner3 - Cubs Win. Nah, just kidding4 - This Halloween, I’m giving violence5 - Live longer with Facebook

1 - Undecided about debates2 - Read a book3 - Well you build the highways...4 - ATT HBO CNN: if its got initials, we want it5 - Time off from nothing6 - Pedals dead....clowns live7 - Snakes on a plane have landed

1- Trump said something2- Fake story only clowns would believe3- Sorry officer...my clown was taller4- Batman vs the Clown5- Sheriff Joe should be a clown6- The Exploding clown phone7- Clown ballot

1 - Sorry Rush -- hurricanes are real and have more hot air than you2 - That Mexican thing3 - Damn book learnin'4 - Hey bud! Wanna buy a car?5 - Need an iPhone to report my Galaxy Note 7 is on fire6 - Kim was robbed7 - Send in the Clowns. Well maybe they’re here

1- Debate = Beating2- Saying he has good judgment proved his poor judgment3- Cyber security, well I have a 10 year old and he's good with computers4- The spin room couldn't spin this5- AZ Republic supports Clinton their first Democrat in 126 years & YOU still can’t decide6- Black Lives Matter - except to cops7- Thank you Mr Scully

1 - That's a Bad Dude2 - North Carolina Crazy3 - Congressman Zeldin, Colin Kaepernick said you’re welcome4 - Mike Pence: Trump's wacky co-host5 - Stop and Frisk for that 2nd Amendment6 - Super Gun Owners7 - They shoot White too

1- Take a picture take a knee2- Backup American3- Shoot or be fired4- What color is your basket5- I’m not racist I’m just better than you

1- #lauering the bar2- Separate and definitely not equal3- Hates not selling4- Harassment costs 20 million Don’t do it5- Chicago hits 5006- I love fast women7- ITT TECH commercials are no more

1 - Thou doth protest2 - Flip flops made in Mexico3 - I'm not racist. My hacker is4 - Look at my Weiner5 - The devil made me do it6 - See it -- Fry it7 - Naked and Afraid

1 - No more Olympics2 - I hate to overexaggerate3 - 2nd biggest jerk, maybe4 - Above the rim5 - What have we got to lose? Everything.6 - Leave Leslie alone7 - I’m sorry he said it8 - Should’a bought on Rodeo

1- Golden Women2- Michael “Dolphin “ Phelps3- Usain the Artist4- USA Basketball better stop watching Beach Volleyball5- Tarnish on the Gold and Games6- Trump can’t Trump the games7- Milwaukee’s Burning8- Leaving the party for less9- You can’t out shoot Stupid

1- Brothers at the RNC2- Fact Checkers got tired3- Get Hillary back on AOL4- Policy, nah nevermind5- Stewart roasts Lumpy6- NBA does perfect crossover

1-Alton Sterling shot, here we go again2-No CHP this isn’t a movie3-Guns don’t kill, I did4-Hillary's not a criminal unless you already believe she is5-NBA has a black card, that’s a black credit card6-Tesla auto drives to trouble7-Noah is back8-Pfizer says drugs are addicting, in other news water is wet

1- Mass shooting cycle2- Trump wants to fight3-Florida’s bad week4- Beauty ruined5- No Trans Bathroom, but trans porn is ok though6- Hope in a loss

1. Thanks North Dakota, we been Trumped2. Transgender State of Emergency3. Rope around kids neck - not discrimination. Transgender bathroom - That's discrimination4. Clarence is at it again5. The mob is so jealous of Payday lenders6. Apple updates me to Microsoft7. Sports stuff

Guests: Cristela Alonzo and Lachlan Patterson1- Republican party is dead, again2- Pure evil endorses Trump3- Trump/Palin/Christie/Carson/who knows4- It's on the internet. It must be true5- You have the right to remain private

1-Cruz out Kasich out -- its all Trump2-Repubs are rushing to Hillary #nevertrump3-It all started with Palin...or Bachman or Santorum or insert crazy here4-Fox News confused5-Beyonce, CIA, I knew it6-My nigga7-Surge in surge costs8-Stay in school kids so when they catch you, you get paid

1- Back from Asia...no yellow fever2- Tough losses last week3- Hillary vs Donald vs America4- Apple cars and lead pipes, at the same time5- NASCAR leading the way. Backwards6- NBA is hurting7- Its all about Beyonce. No really, it is

1- I value New York Values2- Face tattoos. So that's it. Thanks Bill.3- Yep, I told you, NASCAR4- Bernie vs Hillary5- Damn Bill, even you?6- I have met the enemy and he is us. Not the government7- No American Airlines. It's not me. It's you

1- Media for Money2- Trump Women trump women3- Here a gun there a gun but nowhere near me a gun4- Stay in school kids5- Ocean Meat6- Our gaps are OK....This is ‘Merica dammit

1- Voter fraud in AZ. Say it aint so2- Trump and Cruz go after wives in new battle for a new low3- We need fewer Muslims and more guns4- Kid shoots pro gun mom from car seat5- Get your gun and git to college6- Baseball vs Terror7- Big losses this week8- Bugerizza...Damn right, made in “merica

1- Not much news on 80’s cruise2- I just heard about Oscars3- Trump front page every day4- Ben I’m gonna miss you5- Cricket, really I can’t get with soccer and now you give me cricket6- Oh well I’ve got Zika, or Ziga or sumpin7- SXSW: I’m gonna hang with the hipsters

1- Mark Twain had it right2- Not even Rove can stop him3- Klan Rally, Trump Rally - Same Rally?4- Sorry Bernie, time for reality5- Smarter man than me says its not so bad6- Wish I’d seen the Oscars, or not

1- Short and sweet...my quickest podcast ever2- Historically Incorrect3- Situational Constitutional4- Trump up. Bush, not so much5- Losing from the front6- Beyonce is Black, oh my

1- Superbowl vs President -- I’ll take Super Bowl2- Cam, you do you3- Beyonce in sexy outfit? Stop the presses.4- Johnny Football beats a woman, you know, like a football player5- No surprises in New Hampshire6- Rubio answers question, Rubio answers question, Rubio answers question, etc7- There's a pattern here8- Griffin suspended 4 games for hitting a man, should've played football9- Where do I hide my weed money?10- Around the world in 8 guys11- RIP Maurice White

With special guests Lamont Ferguson and Mal Hall1- Cruz Crazy2- Hillary Grassroots Clinton3- Ben Carson beat the kids table4- Kool and the who?5- Goodbye Oregon6- And the Oscar goes to S.A.G.7- Flint don't drink the ahh never mind8- Blake hit Cam Newton for celebrating while Steph Curry watched

1- Executive order is not martial law2- The erotic militia3- Constitution on/off switch4- Natural born like Jesus intended5- Luminosity not that smart6- Powerball: hookers and cocaine like Jesus intended

1-HAPPY NEW YEAR we made it2-There’s been a militia sighting, I think3-Trump wins. Its liar award but he wins and that’s what counts4-Black lives don’t matter5-Cosby Arrested6-Sneaker bandit and other internet adventures7-I’m betting FanDuel and Draft Kings wont be around long8-Hoverboards melt down9-RIP Meadowlark Lemon Sweet Georgia Brown10-See you at Sea

1-A mass shooting by any other name2-Gins don’t kill Toasters don’t toast3-Republican debate WW3 wins4-Save the starving horse owners5-Obama IQ not 102 but maybe it should be6-Where’d I put that damn Grand Canyon

1- San Bernardino: Too much is never enough2- The cycle continues3- Trump vs Tea Party: We all lose4- Shooting is good for the gun biz5- ESPN say don't see Concussion. I can’t wait to see Concussion6- The Force is coming7- Asshole is as Asshole does8- Guns, abortions...Same difference

1- Mass Shooting- again2- Its mental health, yeah, of congress3- Racism- again4- Trump Lies- again5- Amy Schumer- TRUTH6- Crazy laws blah blah blah7- Mass shooting - again

Guests: Maz Jobrani & Suli McCullough1- Why think when you can bomb2- A southern rally by any other name…3- The American Dream sours with a drop of Muslim4- The Original Refugees5- I made it up. Does that matter?6- To Pee or not to Pee7- Happy Thanksgiving

1-Terror in France, Republican Idiots at home2-My Parents were Cuban refugees so lets keep out those refugees & other disconnects3-Jesus was a Middle Eastern Refugee4-Blame it on Obama5-Its called Intelligence for a reason6-Shoutout to Derek B7-Tis the season to start my war on Christmas. Hey I’m a traditionalist8-Charlie Charlie Charlie9-See you in Hollywood

1- Why is there still a kiddie table?2- Trump's not funny...intentionally3- Ben Carson is funny any way you slice it4- I’m so loyal to Democrats I won't vote for a Democrat5- Missouri is the show me state: Show Me the Money oh and football6- Greg Hardy could learn from Cam Newton7- Take my gun to jail? Yeah, Ok

1- Brilliant guests: Jeff Korber, Owen Benjamin & Clayton Thomas2- Don't ask me that3- Preemptive impeachment4- Constitution? We shot it.5- where's my Oxy6- Forget Oxy -- where's my heroin7- I'm Tom Brady. Please don't like me8- Don't steal from Superwoman

1- Raise better deputies2- Your question doesn't match my answer3- Kansas birthday celebration4- We've saved the bears -- lets kill 'em5- We’ve saved the kids lets…uh oh6- Lets Go Mets, please

1-Goodbye Biden2-Politics + hypocrisy= funny3-We lost 1 million ponds and saved our liberty4-Guns vs Dildos, Lets go with Guns and shoot the dildos5-Porn Kills, well not really but it sounds good6-Church kills not really, wait the Word of Life church DOES kill7-No good deed goes unpunished8-Lamar and Khloe, nope, still don’t care9-Ole JebBubba strikes again You can’t stop stupid10-LETS GO METS

With special guests: comedians Maronzio Vance and Aida Rodriguez1- By popular demand we have guests2- Hate for fun and profit3- His name is Cayden4- Trolls used to guard bridges

1-We’re shooting again2-Stuff happens and it is political3-A real hero4-If the 8 year olds had guns5-Apparently I’m descended from immigrant agricultural workers6-They learned to play nice

1- Hello Pope2- The Devil You know3- Shut down the, oh never mind4- Waa Waa...Trump is mad again Waaaa5- TSA: The Stupid Agency6- South Carolina is going Syrian7- Baseball is fun again8- It Ain't Over till Its over. Sadly, Its over

LIVE from the Los Angeles Podcast Festival 2015 Guest: Baron Vaughn, Tamer Kattan and Matt Kirshen 1- Republican Reality Show 2- Donald meet Arnold 3- 9/11? Oh that 9/11 4- Ahmed knows what time it is 5- Jesus wore saggy pants

1- No grown ups allowed 2- Those fascinating Republicans 3- Well you looked black 4- Welcome to Phoenix. Its 1827...Start Shooting 5- Serena, Slam Them then Smile

1- Football is here & we're out of courts 2- I'm more rich old white man than you 3- A unicorn rode a rainbow to bring me news of black Republicans 4- You don't punish Tom Brady without permission from Tom Brady 5- Concussion the movie the NFL doesn't want you to see & players will forget 6- Cops shooting cops 7- Constitution Schmonstitution I been talking to Jesus This episode is great for anyone who has ever silently raged against any system!

1-Heroes 2-Another level of murder 3-We're number 1, sadly 4-Trump yeah, again 5-Long way from Confederate flag 6-ESPN bottom 10 7-Where's my fall guy?

1- Sex Sex Sex 2- Jared pays for trying to pay 3- Marriage is Sacred meet my wife Ashley Madison 4- Viagra for women? I'll faint 5- El Nino is coming 6- No Trophy for You 7- I wanna be in the NBA

1- The Donald, still2- Even Megyn needed vacation3- How to get to Sesame Street?4- Days of our lives, in football5- Target kids toys, hit PC6- Lets take the summer off

1- Trump's not trumped 2- Carly wins NIT 3- Perhaps we can cook bacon in a pan 4- ALL LIVES MATTER 5- Hey Jon, thanks for the memories

1-Where is the reasonable Republican? 2-Where are those emails? 3-Cover the cover 4-Why are you looking at me thru your phone?

1- Canada: the new normal2- Just loving Just For Laughs3- War heroes don't win ESPYs4- You call this an election?5- God said shoot, I shoot6- Where's my Oxy?7- Ahh I'm gonna have a sandwich

1- Amy is OK2- Lower the flag only 150 years late3- Hey media, Trump is not real4- Hillary -- tell us who you are, really5- What hotels are Justice Scalia staying in?6- Hey Ken Paxton....maybe Jesus doesn't like fraud more than you don't like gays7- Hi this is the IRS, "You?re going jail for 14 years"8- Cosby and Jared walk into a courtroom. Hey, it could happen9- DeAndre changed his mind and ClipperNation lives again

1- Obama needs to say n***er more often2- 3 for 3 with Supreme court3- Common Sense? Didn’t see that coming4- Gay Marriage = Gay divorce...let the battle begin5- Fair housing wins in Texas6- Trade you Thomas for Dolezal7- NBA draft NFL jail, I mean camp

1- Charleston Tragedy 2- I'm not black but I play one on NAACP 3- Trump for pres...of Hair Club for Men 4- Fair and Balanced? No, seriously. It could happen.

1- Back at it 2- Cops Gone Wild 3- Its my airport gun 4- Sarah Sarah 5- Family values at 1.7 million 6- Oh, that Wu Tang Clan 7- Caitlyn, so... 8- LeBron, you da man.

1- America the Big 2 - America the Beautiful 3- Jesus, Porn and Western Boots

1- Welcome to Waco guns, bikes, beer, boobs. What could go wrong?2- Here’s an idea Texas: legalize more guns. That’ll stop the shooting3- Privatize, uh, NO4- How much is that presidency in the window?5- Thanks Clippers...it was fun

1- B’More careful...Slow Motion Riot2- Black woman and their hair take charge3- Justice for sale4- Texas, yep, still crazy5- Bachman, yep, still crazier6- Fight of the century. Well, its early the century7- A-rod still smiling8- Go Clippers

1- Black Lives Matter?2- I’m sensing a pattern here?3- Fight the power to I can’t breathe4- Hey Dems, let's support a candidate that runs5- Stand with Rand Paul, bring your skates6- From his team to our Games7- Thanks Canada

1- Broken hoof2- Welcome to school...we hate you3- You're innocent at last4- We hate gays but we love money just like Jesus5- Ted Cruz for ahhh forget it6- Go Cats, Go for the money

1- Where are the good guys?2- 2015 meet 19653- God's health care plan4- Bracket$$$

1- Live from St. Thomas2- God don't want no married gays gettin' health insurance3- War on terror on a budget4- I ran for president. Please buy my book5- Emails? What emails?6- Hold please7- No credit, bad credit, no problem

1- He doesn’t lead cuz we won’t follow2- The people? HA3- My activist judge is better than your activist judge4- A genuine caper5- Beagle wins, PETA loses6- Free Range Kids

1- Goodbye Mr. Stewart2- I misremembered lying3- Dr’s, Twitter, Same thing4- Saintly Sinners5- Kanye Kanye Kanye6- That’s my beer7- Capt Obvious strikes again8- BBW

Barry got his SWAG back

1- France fights back with the sword and the pen2- Politicians blaming each other what country is this3- Magical senate works pretty fast4- Spend more get less: that's the democrat's way5- Congressional diversity in 19226- Free college? Not while there are prisons7- Texas is shaky

1- Happy New Year2- Angry New Congress3- Slow Down Officers4- How Bout Dem Cowboys5- New Year, Old Resolution6- Sarah’s Still Here7- Goodbye Stuart Scott

1- Cheney loves torture2- Everyone knew about enhanced interrogation except the head of interrogation3- Speaking of Interrogation, we won't be seeing it4- US and Cuba get along better than Barack Obama and congress5- I’ll take cars for 1000 a month Alex6- Vote for me at blowme.org7- Open carry, open fire8- Surgeon general is hired9- Uber in Uber trouble

1- Sadly here we go again now its Eric Garner2- Jon Stewart couldn’t make a joke Rand Paul was a joke3- Imagine if he’d been white4- Who’s afraid of a large black man? Apparently Charles you are...5- Athletes can protest, I mean, they’re large black men6- Criming While White7- What MLK really did8- True Hero cops are overshadowed by the cowards but they do exist9- Let's stop this, I want to be funny again

1- Nothing changes if nothing changes and nothing has changed2- Happy Thanksgiving Don’t get trampled

1- Cosby...I can’t call it2- Two realities, one country3- What if we tax the guns4- My religion doesn’t affect you until it does5- You’re an immigrant. My grandfather was an immigrant but I forget that6- Lets get this war on Christmas started early, like Black Friday sales7- Liberal quarantine? Yes, please, we all have ebola stay away from us and our money

1- Merry Christmas GOP the Dems have decided to give you the Senate2- Haitian immigrant is ok but that Kenyan Immigrant is still a problem3- We promise not to shut down government like last time we shut down government4- Don’t worry, we’re still crazy5- I just hooked up with a hot cheerleader, what do you mean illegal?

1- Thou shalt not support a democrat2- Hey Bear, put the donut down3- Capt obvious has spoken4- The polls say we can make more money from a playoff5- Do Not Sit Here6- Bash brother shoots self7- No more Honey Boo Boo chile, hope for us all

1- I’m still with you brother2- Doing nothing is too activist3- Jesus is asking religion to leave him alone4- I heard it on TMZ5- Go Royals

1- Repubs don't want to debate abortion, gay marriage or contraception. You now, their core issues2- God's giving out pink slips3- FOX News intolerance of Muslims matches Muslims intolerance of Americans4- Black pastor says Obama's a gay Kenyan; FOX News confused5- Forbes says "Even better than Reagan"6- Ebola, Ebola and more Ebola7- NFL players agree to wear pink ties to court when charged with domestic violence8- Hussain Abdullah penalized for praying, just like Tebow9- Jeter was amazing last of a dying breed. Walk off hit at Yankee Stadium and final hit against Boston. Now he's free to take your lady. Thanks Cap!

1- NFL is a mess that needs a leader2- Budweiser is going gangster, Tony Soprano would be proud3- ESPN fumbles again and again and again4- Drug tests, suspensions, suspensions of drug tests5- I’m watching Chess6- Republicans say drug test non users7- Get your MRAP here kids8- Scene from movie Crash becomes real life in my hometown9- Smell your cabbie, no really g’head , smell him

1- ESPN scooped by TMZ is BS2- My NBA owner is more racist than yours3- Sometimes you just need a punch in the mouth4- Lowlife bullies meet big time internet5- iPhone 6...can Siri step up?

1- A plan for Isis2- Look out Governor.3- Bachman was right. We're in trouble now4- Twisted logic of hate.5- Wanna see me naked?6- Footballs back. Call a lawyer7- Joan Rivers RIP

1- They're police, not soldiers - drive a van2- John Crawford was openly carrying a toy gun3- ENOUGH, STOP SHOOTING4- Thats expensive tea5- Left and right agree that they don't like public integrity investigations6- You're not paranoid when they are corrupt7- I made 142 million, for nothing8- Ice bucket challenged9- Michael Sam sacks Johnny Football; so do the Browns10- Suge Knight shot as the 90’s attempt revenge

1- Summer break from school shootings to shoot black kids2- Robin Williams is gone3- Let's not do stupid shit4- 2 weeks of not clearing brush5- Welcome gov and the Klan6- Do dogs read Craigslist?7- We’re sick but we hate healthcare8- We got robbed in a sketchy neighborhood9- College payers will get paid10- Welcome to Sturgis I was wrong

1- I've been insulted by Rickles....comedy careers complete2- Sarah Palin TV, cheaper than your porn site3- Constitution smonstitution, I’m Rand Paul4- Right of the right5- Obama vs Israel6- Canadian Sopranos meet Maury Povich7- Rob Ford might be the smart one in family8- Sexy teacher teaches boys sex9- Sterling's out but we’re stuck with Stephen A10- Thor’s a woman Capt America’s black The Tea Partys mad

1- Schools out No Shootings2- What a pretty convict you have3- Ann Coulter hates soccer so it must be good4- Tea party Vs Tea Party decided by black people? Only in America5- Dick Cheney vs EVERYBODY6- What the founding fathers meant was, read and think for yourselves

1- Lookin for good news, found shootings2- Seattle, Oregon, Vegas...I can't keep up3- They’re not school shootings, they’re shootings that took place at a school4- Shootings and racism are like hot dogs and apple pie5- Obama palling around with terrorists again6- Long beard, you must be terrorist, or Duck hunter7- New bible endorsed by same Jesus that brought you guns8- Obama multitasking started Iraq war while engineering economic collapse9- C’mon Eric Cantor let's vote down Obamacare one last time10- Congrats San Antonio11- Congrats LA Kings12- World Cup, it’s the greatest game blah blah blah13- Whooping Cough is here....take that Bird Flu

1- I’m not psychic2- Cowards, featuring Joe The Plumber3- #yesallwomen because we men need to know4- I brought my gun to a restaurant5- Fewer guns vs more racism, only in America6- Australia did it7- Goodbye Maya Angelou we love you, we miss you and we need you

1- We register cars, don't we?2- Hello police? There's an armed militia next door3- Insane, meet more insane4- Race has nothing, I mean everything to do with it5- A word from an expert6- Guns as free speech7- Your argument could kill me

1- Donald Sterling's racist rant cost him the Clippers2- Adam Silver don’t play3- Gold-digger’s gotta dig4- Cliven who?5- Sarah’s crazy Supreme court is dangerous6- A living wage might cost you your other job, dinosaurs wore saddles and other repub myths7- Sorry PJ maybe Tesla will make a chainsaw

1- Women aim too low2- Patriotic domestic terror3- Designed to be unintelligent4- Planned Grand Parenthood5- Laws are sexy

1- Stabbing is better than shooting2- Repubs appeal to racists? Say it ain’t so3- Poor people better learn to buy drugs on lower minimum wage4- 3 reasons I like republicans

1- Supreme Court finally allows rich some representation2- Something to buy with 100 million3- I vote against me4- Guns don't kill people, oh wait, they do5- Get your bear suit6- Coaches rich. Players nothing

1- Was that Black White or Green2- Bullets are bad for you3- Gay Bullies4- Slavery, the good kind5- Dr. Ben6- Black Twitter & Tweets

1- Airline bill of rights? You have the right to pay2- Can I see your X-rays?3- Arizona is Western Mississippi4- Religion's coming to an end and boy is Jesus happy

1- Murder unsuccessful but attempted murder went great2- Standing your ground depends on what color is standing3- God's law? Which ones4- Guys they've f**ked, no! They're not politicians5- Knocked her out, in a straight manly way6- LoLo is so slow7- Met a senator and lived to tell about it8- Buy 'Merican

1- Michael Sam is gay but it’s the NFL execs that are punks2- Hey Michael, please assault someone to prove you belong3- Media accuses media of media circus during media circus4- MSNBC, stop it5- Repubs can't create laws while busy creating fake websites6- Hello Florida, living to grow up is a basic human right, stand on that

1- What would MLK think today2- He’d think Palin was funny too3- Chris Christie or Chris Soprano4- Rodman goes to rehab5- NSA rules are a secret6- Superbowl is set7- Men like breasts, bet you didn’t know that8- Michelle Obama is 50

1- I resolve to get fat2- It's cold outside. Back to you Jim3- You'll fly where we say when we say now pay your fees4- Bridgegate is not a gate5- News that's not news6- Saturday Night Live hires black woman Texas hires Black coach old white man is angry7- Finally, I can drive while black

Merry Christmas...give someone a goat

1- I was in Jakarta2- I almost gave up on evil until we hit a new low3- Ted Cruz liked Mandela on Facebook4- Stuart Varney tired of Pope and this whole help the poor thing5- I finally agree with the right, Jesus, get back here

1- Obama es no bueno2- We don’t like him but boy is he powerful3- Christian+ Patriot+ militia = meeting secret service4- No its not race, you racist5- When you get away with it, shut up6- Fight the war on Christmas, get to a mall

1- Healthcare.gov the same as Katrina except for the dead and homeless people2- Chris Christy is not approved by conventional racist homophobes3- Dave Wilson wants to be black Well watch out for the police4- Melissa Bachman is not related to Michelle Bachman which is even scarier because now we know there's 2 of them5- Tips are cash not advice or your close minded hate6- There seemed to be no hope until bat kid rescued all of us

From the Outside Looking In1- Live from Canada2- Mayors on crack3- Reasonable Republican?4- Suzanne's blonde moment5- Unlikely supporter6- Go Clippers7- Rule 62

We’re Movin! Are we movin fwd or backward? I dunno but we are movinFwd Darrel Wallace wins at NASCARBackward Shopping at Barneys? Bring your pay stubBackward Voting rights lawsFwd Judge admits he screwed up on voting rights lawsHOPE kids react to Cheerios commercial

Have a plan, whether you...1-shut down the government2-legalize weed or3-watch the end of daysPlease, Have a plan

1- Shut em down! Shut ‘em, Shut ‘em Down2- Man up and shut down everything3- Uh fellas, the heatlh care law still went into effect4- Approval rating? Congress loses to president, of Russia5- Race to the bottom and we all lose

1-Another mass shooting, business as usual2-New gun laws, No Gun laws, No new gun laws3-Take guns from mentally ill? Hell they won’t take them from the blind4- Nothing changes if Nothing changes from cops to congress5- Another scary black man shot6- Defund Obamacare or we will shut down the government, again, no really, this time we mean it, sort of, we will,7- Beanie Babies in trouble8- Crime doesn’t pay Video games about crime pay a fortune9 -Texas says, Science , we don’t need no stinking science10- I’m going on cruise and ill be back cuz its not Carnival

1- Sanity in Syria US and Russia agree to let UN inspect and destroy weapons to avoid airstrikes and save face2- This week I’m going with stupid and sports3- Zimmerman at it again altercation with wife and father in law IPad smashed Zimmerman hitting head again he’s always hit in head and of course no charges filed. He’s neighborhood watch captain its time to move out of neighborhood4- Iowa says its ok for blind people to carry guns in public, my question, why is it not ok for blind people to drive to range or on the hunting trip Oh I forgot, there’s an eye test for drivers license but not for gun ownership5- Oklahoma state players I didn’t go to study I went to play football. Sports Illustrated reports that tutors did work for athletes (yawn) nothing new Dez Bryant cheated in college, really, the player that set a new NFL low for being arrested for domestic violence against his MOTHER didn’t go to class, I’ll be damned Les Miles the former coach and T Boone Pickens the billionaire of course deny allegations you can see where the players would be lying, not the coach that went to an even bigger job or the billionaire who built stadium6- Johnny Manziel 3 touchdowns after his half game suspension 464 yards against Alabama, I guess his autograph is worth something. The ultimate hypocrisy CBS has Johnny cam to follow just him on field but, he shouldn’t get paid…7- Von Miller suspended for driving without license while on suspension for substance abuse c’mon Von, hit somebody and score the triple8- What did you do last night Floyd Mayweather made 41 million dollars? Stay in school kids9- Coach K madly in love with Beyoncé Introduces self after giving speech Cool coach is a mess, how fine is she10- Miss Kansas has ink, I love it HOT and from Kansas who’d of guessed

1- Was that Obama or Bush I heard?2- Confounded Confederates3- Missouri out to shoot constitution4- Pro football is back, in college

Listen to Alonzo's appearance on NO NEWS IS GOOD NEWS on http://Laffster.com!

1- Pray for Mississippi2- Anti Obamacare is getting sick3- I’ll sue you to charge me more cuz I’m crazy4- Wal Mart people, pay & problems5- NCAA may have to free indentured servants, I mean college athletes6- A Rod hits the guy who hit him7- The Butler

1- Cecil Gaines, The Butler2- North Carolina moving backwards3- Virginia staying backwards4- Texas, well theyre just Texas5- Damn constitution stopped a frisky Bloomberg6- Someone please save Chicago7- Deficit is dropping Both sides anxious to take credit for not giving credit8- Oprah dissed, may buy Stitzerland9- You can’t name your kid Messiah, just ask God

1- Why Blame A-Rod2- The Steroid era A few good years3- Youre not conservative enough Stop Reading4- A Weiner by any other Name5- The artist known as Jay-Z6- Goodbye George Duke, Thanks

1- I Love Montreal2- Carlos Danger for Mayor3- You need a therapist, or Jesus depends on which side your on4- My boss made my annual salary TODAY5- White Supremacist named black quits I can’t make that up6- How many babies can you afford7- Baseball and juice8- Baby Prince George who I don’t care about but must mention by law9- Surfers riot no, really, they did. dude, wtf????

1- No one does a good job2- Especially not Florida lawmakers and juries3- Good luck black teenagers it aint going to be easy4- Texas, still crazy after all these years

1- Suspect in North Carolina2- Trayvon was in better shape than Zimmerman, so?3- Where’s the Outrage New title for my TV special? Nope , a real question4- Kids aren’t driving,5- Long John Silver Wins6- Dwight Howard Taking talents to Houston7- You thought you were a sports fan?8- The great Flip Flop Controversy. I found the outrage

1- Recording a live show? STOP IT2- Gays Getting hitched Humans , not Bert and Ernie3- Haters hatin4- Got gay marriage right now lets work on that race thing5- Quickest trial ever6- Black kids have super powers?7- Curtis Flowers, 0 for 68- Sorry Lauryn , you gotta pay9- Test the Farmers10- Aaron Hernandez you should watch CSI11- 128 vs 12912- Condolences to families of firefighters

1- I’m back , no music listener inputs and some funny added2- LA Press Club dinner EXTRA EXTRA Carl Reiner says I am “F**king Outstanding”3- 3 Discrimination no longer exists Well at least not in places that used to discriminate4- Trevon Martin family glad discrimination no longer exists because judging by this jury…5- Sarah is back and the Momma Grizzly doesn’t want illegals in her den6- 1% of1% says you don’t matter7- Get that kid a shotgun8- CONGRATS LeBron and the HEAT

1- Theres gonna be some changes around here2- Which way do I go3- Bachman steps down maybe smart is winning4- Rasslers offend Tea baggers5- Don’t stare at me6- DNA collection ok Nancy Grace ecstatic7- Heat Heat Heat

1- Its Scandal season, personally, I miss SARS2- Benghazi, Ben Messy what happens when secret source is a liar and you are a sucker3- AP Phone records who knew they hated Obama more than they love foiling plots4- House votes against Obamacare, its only the 37th time you voted against a law approved by supreme court , way to not waste time & money5- Banks play morality card , no really, ,the bankers used the word morality, c’mon, stop it, you’re killing me6- And you thought Bachman was crazy, well she is, but we can top her

1- Bengahzi, evil? Couldn’t be Cheyney wasn’t there, its just good ole American incompetence2- Rt wing radio is in trouble Hey Rush, the slut is winning3- Cleveland heroes, rescues and loads of laughs Lebron is not involved4- Ariel Castro gonna find out what imprisonment is5- Hey HLN Nancy Grace is missing, sorry, wishful thinking6- Tiger is back , thanks Lindsay7- ATM robbery a true movie style caper, a plot where’s Tom Cruise8- Hey Bachman before the constitution talked about guns they talked about religious freedom You should read that thing9- Ok Texas the candidate is not American and you cannot vote

1- You know its gonna be a bad day when2- Jason Collins first gay athlete KUDOS sir3- Chris Broussard homophobe, hypocrite, christian ? Hey ESPN give him Sunday & every other day off4- Guns Gins Guns 3 sides of a coin5- You might be an idiot when you have redneck day6- Thug goat? Really Mountain dew, a thug goat?7- Obama is hilarious8- And Sarah Palin hates him for it9- 29% believe in armed rebellion, and santa clause10- Secede already, go, no really, go, take your guns and we’ll keep our rules11- Anne Hathaway glad to hear we really hate Gwyneth Paltrow more

1- Boston Bombing2- No news is news the Post Cnn Fox we don’t have news so we’ll make some up3- Fertilizer explosion in Texas, no one heard it4- Lets arm the babies Its never too soon5- Kermit Gosnell , killer6- We left the natives sand? Lets take it7- Flight’s delayed, you’ve been sequestered8- A great judge administers great justice9- LA traffic worst in country We win again10- Go CLIPPERS11- RIP Jonathan Winters we’ll miss you

1- Kidneys gone, I’m good Thanks2- Welcome to Louisiana have a drink get ur gun3- North Dakota says at conception  you are a person with rights except the right to choose4- Don Young calls em Wetbacks Obama calls her beautiful Same thing right?5- Boycott FOX news about time that left wing FOX is exposed6- Religion is like a penis, Do not pull it out in public7- Science says universe is 13.82 billion years old Palin is sticking with 50008- Plan B with no ID9- RIP Margaret Thatcher10- Ben Carson the new great black hope11- Congrats Rick Pitino and Louisville greatest week ever12- Brittney Griner to NBA? Uh NO13- Tiger will master Masters14- Psst, need an Accord?Apr 10, 2013

1- CPAC good to know Sarahs still crazy2- New Pope is new CEO3- Sanjaya singing in the subway4- Lock up Lindsay with OJ and let us watch5- Tigers back & hes got a new blonde to prove it6- March Madness7- 2013 from 1988’s eyesMar 21, 2013

1- Have you been sequestered yet? Not sure? Well don’t ask me2- US to broker peace in Middle east Of course we cant get along in DC , lets solve the holy war3- Hate groups up 800% Who says Obama doesn’t promote growth4- Burn down the ‘burbs5- Teachers carry guns in South Dakota, Duck6- Here come the drones Here a drone there a drone everywhere a drone drone7- Baby cured of aids, finally , some good news8- Do you hate Anne Hathaway? You should9- Hate her on twitter, that’s what its there for Mar 12, 2013

1- Sequester Dis, once again the government will shut down & world will end, or not2- Its my idea, no its your idea well I wont budge oh yeah, yeah The 2nd graders are at it again3- Tea Party so crazy even Karl Rove is fighting them4- How crazy? Lets do away with elections crazy5- Post truth journalism, welcome to brietbart.com6-  fact is we’ve already saved 84 billion but who needs facts7- LA Traffic the worst in other shocking news water is wet8- Oscar, watch your step9- Rodman the diplomat, still not as crazy as tea party Feb 28, 2013

1.    1.  State of the Union Obama is SMOOV2.    2. Rubio Rebuttal Lying makes me thirsty3.    3.  Rend rebuttal to rebuttal, why is there always a secret list?4.    4.  Loving immigrants and hating women what about women immigrants?5.    5. Dorner a damn shame all around6.    6. Bruce , Die Hard and shut up7.    7. Carnival Cruise vacation? Or Survivor episode?8.    8. Alabama players making ends meet9.    9. Condi, just gotta start something10. 10. Coke overdose, no , not that coke, COKE11. 11. Heart attack Grill finally truth in advertising Feb 18, 2013

1- How did I not make the Anti gun list? 2- Man collects guns hates government builds a bunker terrorist or tea bagger? 3- Birth control immoral child abuse , OK 4- Wearing Pants in France 5- Cant afford Acapulco, no worries tourists are attacked everywhere 6- Sen Geraldo Rivera? Uh, No

1- I'm not paying attention I'm on a cruise2- Inauguration on Martin Luther King day? What's next walking on water?3- Aretha Franklin to Kelly Clarkson4- Congress won't get paid and we're still looking for who cares5- New York. Gun owners ignited to Texas?  His should be good for a laugh6- Texas tea party7- Let's confess to Oprah8- I dedicate this podcast to my late imaginary girlfriend Jan 23, 2013

1- Guns. It's not video games it's the guns2- Sheriff Joe needs a calender not a posse3- Hypocrites Hall of Fame4- Good luck RG3 abd Roll Tide5- The NBA is playing. Before the all star break?6- Hockey's back. You did know they were gone right?7- Worst murder plot ever Jan 17, 2013

1-  South against everything2-  Fiscal Cliff Congress and a bunch of nothing3-  Bring back dueling gentlemen4-  Assault weapon stops crime. Oops never happened5-  Whew the rich got richer6-  Al Jazeera vs Current TV vs Fox News7-  Let's make up some news8-  Dr Oz having a show is a miracle9-  Dying for pictures10- Oh no, they breed Jan 10, 2013

1 Newtown shootings President Obama, what are you willing to do 2 He has a knife I have a 32 ounce Louisville slugger 3 Shooting kid with loud radio isn’t standing your ground 4 Romney Wins 5 Raise tax on millionaires and pay for it with Medicare 6 Obama takes corporate donations Lets get some nascar sponsor decals 7 California’s crazy again, or at least stupid 8 Rob Parker real black? Nope Real stupid 9 The Bieb is going sitcom Dec 20, 2012

1- Vegas baby. Pacqaio Rodeo Mal Hall and George Wallace. What a party2 Stand your ground defend your house stop the madness3 Jan brewer flips Repubs flop the new Republicans love latinos.4-Fiscal cliff. We're falling but don't worry it won't interruptcongressional vacations5 Dow up unemployment down worlds not ending6 Obama aid becomes lobbyist. Finally a democrat learning the corruptiongame7 FOX news home of Sarah Palin calls Susan Rice incompetent. No seriouslythey did8 War on Christmas? Just ask DMX and Rudolf Dec 13, 2012

1- Obama says take fiscal cliff fight to twitter, wants a fair and balanced approach. I guess he's just gonna rub that in FOX news people 2- Voters more willing to compromise than congress people. Well most voters aren't crooks paid by lobbyists so I'm not surprised 3- Jon Huntsman was biggest threat according to Obama campaign manager. No he wasn't , Jon Huntsman is reasonable. He never had a chance in republican primary 4- War on women is women's fault FOX news says learn your place ladies , then you?ll be happy and you wouldn't be voting for that socialist 5- Strike at Wal Mart...not happening 6- New Black Friday tradition, count the Wal Mart wounded. Bet the over/under 7- Stop the parade, We?re running out of helium Inflate balloons with Trumps hot air 8- Notre Dame is unbeaten 9- RIP Larry Hagman They finally got JR 10- Fl. woman arrested for riding a manatee. Let me get this straight Florida, riding manatee illegal, shooting black teenager, we're ok with that 11- Cop buys a homeless man a pair of boots Beautiful gesture, no joke. Happy Holidays

1-Happy Black Friday, I mean Thanksgiving2-Republicans, shut up the reason you lost is Obama was better3-You want to secede? Bye its been fun, screw off and play football against each other4-Weed is legal Twinkies are bankrupt? Oh noooooo5-Abandon kids football? OK, lets watch the fat teenagers show again6-Hammer goes Gangam style , and hopefully shares some financial advice Nov 22, 2012

1. Attn Old White Men New America includes everyone2. Karl Rove must report loss to Cheyney, good luck with that3. Racist Rants on Twitter How sad, future klansmen klan reduced to tweeting4. Whos Better off than 4 yrs ago, gun sellers5. Fiscal cliff my ass6. Florida shouldn’t be allowed to vote, period , end of story7. Weed wins Porn loses8. Hurricane Sandy still kicking ass9. Failure of Virgin America, we like our virgins cheap10. George Lucas to give billions away , another liberal redistributes wealth11. Gen Petraeus, love isn’t forever, emails are12. Still no Hockey Nov 13, 2012

1- Short and Sweet 2- PRESIDENT OBAMA HAS WON!!!! 3- America got it right 4- Big Bird is lookin for Romney 5- Ted Nugent, Rush Limbaugh and Donald Trump have to leave 6- PRESIDENT OBAMA HAS WON!!!

1- Obama wins 3rd debate, no one cares2- polls up ,polls down , here a poll there a poll everywhere a poll poll3- Racism still prevalent in America in other news, water is wet4- Women for Romney is like like cattle for burgers, I just don't get it5-Romney says GOP supported Obama. Can I ride in your alternate reality machine Mitt?6- 7.7 quake, Hurricane Sandy, maybe Mayans were right7- Goldman sachs director in jail8- US sues B of A for mortgage fraud 9- Lolo Jones to bobsled Tears freeze in winter10 an apology for TrumpOct 29, 2012

1- 08 Obama is back. I think Michelle gave him a talking to2- Obama won, or did he?once again Rt wing beautifully denies reality3- Glenn Beck Jeans 1791 from back when blacks & women knew their placeahhh the good ole days4- Amanda Todd dead Our collective shame of online bullying5- Tig Notaro  tragedy + honesty = comedy Thanks for helping Louie CK6-Lance Armstrong. Nike turns their back on a man with one nut. ShameNike ShameOct 20, 2012

1- Biden whups some ass 2- Funny VP Tweets. Call 911 3- Martha Raddutz a REAL moderator 4- Obama. Pay Attention 5- 5 dollars a gallon? Get more elves 6- November Baseball? 7- Evolution a lie from hell and other brilliant science

1- Election vs coronation. 2- Wake the f**k up 3- Romney leads middle class 4- Climate change Fox News and fairy tales 5- Perry blames Satan so Obama must be Jesus 6- Christian Right blames Obama so he must be Satan 7- California cars don't need you 8- Voter test: Who's Honey Boo Boo?

1- Romney Romney Romney. Obamas people say please keep talking2- Paul Ryan and Values Voters still have time for hate3-Rick Santorum say" we'll never get smart people" to a group of dumb people4- Advice from Sam Jackson5- teachers win and lose6- hey dead guy, you can't park there7- NY mayor says no to Big Gulp8- tea Party ratings at new low. Thank god for congress9- Amanda's so low Lindsey's mad about it

1-Obama gets a bounce. He’s saving one job, his2- Michelle Obama says don’t mess with my man3- Clnton gives a speech so good we remember why he got BJ’s4- You’re like Hitler, No, You’re like Hitler5- Insult your opponent, nicely6- Voter rights, we’ve progressed all the way to the 60’s, again7- IBISWorld predicts people spending again. I dunno if theyre right but ladies, go buy some shoes8- Repubs hate gay marriage less because it’s a family value?9- Organic  Schmorganic10- Keep your job because you like to eat don’t you?11 RIP Michael Clarke Duncan. Gonna miss the KingpinAlonzoLive.com@AlonzoBoddenSep 12, 2012

1- You Didn't Build That, in context with the truth 2- Repub convention, if you build it we will come and laugh 3- Small Businessman built it with money from government contracts 4- Paul Ryan learned it with social security money 5- Mia Love built it with 10 bucks 6- Rush says Obama manipulated hurricane, I thought only THOR could manipulate hurricanes, maybe Storm from X-Men 7- Hurricane heads for Tampa and could end in Ryan's hometown I guess God wants to meet them 8- Gov Jindal stays home, to ask for more federal money 9- Apple Computer is gangsta Samsung is Apple's bitch 10- Smoking pot lowers IQ and memory, I think 11- Texas judge says Obama re election will lead to civil war 12- Mississippi combats teen pregnancy with less education 13- Man eaten by grizzly bear he was photographing 14- notice the link between topics 10-14

1- Niall Ferguson says Obama must go, of course he says it with ½ truths but he did say it 2- Numerous rebuttals to Niall Fergusen from Harvard grads, journalists economists etc etc etc 3- Jan Brewer is at it again, when will we fence of her own country so she can be crazy and angry by herself 4- Alabama checking kids immigration status, hey you, 3rd grader, where’s your ID? 5- Oklahoma Valedictorian diploma held because she said hell, I say get the hell out of OK 6- Akin, Ryan , legitimate rape , forcible rape vs illegitimate unforced rape and of course women’s magic wombs 7- Condi joins Augusta, you go girl, bring oprah to lay a round won’t you 8- Houston the coolest city in America? Maybe I’ll take my talents there 9- Device unable to detect kids in hot cars Aug 22, 2012

1- Micheal Phelps greatest ever 2- Gabby Douglas and her hair 3- Ryan Lochte TMI 4- Usain Bolt 5- USA B ball 6- and of course HOOTERS

LIVE: In Other NewsRecorded uncut at Icehouse PasadenaRated R

1- Romney at NAACP convention 2- Romney calls out Obama on outsourcing 3- Olympic uniforms made in China, speaking of outsourcing 4- Condi Rice for VP, or not 5- Obama doesn’t need tax cuts , where is my trickle down? 6- Rick Perry says he’ll turn down Obamacare, he’ll just pry for help 7- Confidence in religion at all time low. Don’t blame Jesus 8- Drive up alcohol. Theres a texas law that might need work 9- Blake griffin signs for 95 million and hurts knee, hello Clipper jinx 10- Bring back Awkward Black Girl, wake up networks Jul 16, 2012

1- Fireworks cancelled across America 2- Roberts on Obamacare. No one hated more for decision since LeBron 3- Mitt to repeal Obamacare and replace with nothing 4- Eric Holder in contempt of congress, nevermind 5- Record heat wave not global warming, just a little God 6- Jet Blue pilot not guilty, just insane 7- BET awards same old same old 8- Clippers acquire a Kardashian 9- Florida man masturbating while driving

1- Supreme Court Upholds AZ immigration 2- Roberts court will undo every right from Warren Court 3- Obama immigration kids can stay 4- Sea level rise Damn Left wing science 5- Romney says good news is bad news 5- Reagan is my favorite liberal 6- Common sense in Texas? 7- Father kills child molester Yep that's how you do that 8- Microsoft Surrface tablet excites both Zune owners 9- Florida idiot feeds gator his hand Yep that's how you do that

1- Supreme Court Approval low 2- Obama Campaign stalled 3- Obama misspoke? Nope Screwed up 4- 68% against Health care law but want benefits of health care law 5- Romney can't spell 6- GOP blocks equal pay bill. Wonder if their women senators get paid equal? 7- Bloomberg for pot against soda 8- Summer jobs up 9- 30 is new 20 40 is new 30 60 is new 40 dead is new 60 10- Texas abstains from sex ed and has a baby over it 11- Rick Warren Bible says Be Thin

1- Motorcycle travels, The South’s beautiful and confusing 2- Politics as usual. Obama attacks Bain Capital Romney attacks jobs numbers 3- John Bolton, Bush UN ambassador, says Bush left Obama a mess 4- Donald Trump still a birther 5- Mia Love Black woman mormon repub mayor from utah goin for congress 6- Artur Davis former black Alabama congressman switches to repub 7- Dems drop the ball on Scott Walker recall in Wisconsin 8- Clinton poses with porn stars 9- Mark Zuckerbrook down to 14 billion, Dropped from top 40 list 10- Levi Johnston broke 11- Snickers says eat chocolate before sex 12- Stand your ground in Phoenix Jun 06, 2012

TOPICS INCLUDE:1- Trayvon Martin had weed in system 2- Florida Shoot first learn law later 3- Four Tons of Marijuana found off coast of OC 4- This is your brain on FOX 5- Joe Arpaio leads Az Sherriffs race 6- Romney not going to Disagree with Rick Scott on drug testing 7- Debt limit showdown , again 8- JP morgan loss could be 3 billion 9- 90 million for NY penthouse 10- Equal pay for WNBA? Stop laughing they are serious 11- Illinois Miniature horses as service animals May 24, 2012

TOPICS INCLUDE:Mothers DayObama on Gay MarriageAvengers opens at 200 million Shaq gets PHDShaq gets PHDWoman sued for sending text message to driverSan Diegans want to fine banks for neglecting foreclosuresWomen paying alimony you asked for equalitySIRI says Nokia phone better This is what happens without Steve aroundTruck nuts lead to jail stay Stupid is as Stupid does May 16, 2012

Topics Include:1 -Obama visits Afghanistan repubs say he’s using getting Bin Laden for political gain 2 -Obama launches FORWARD campaign 3 -Obama vs Romney will be boring Yes, and that’s a good thing although a lil Santorum or Cain would make it fun 4 -ATT CEO says offering unlimited date for Iphone was big mistake and loses sleep over imessage 5 -GM pays no income taxes since bankruptcy 6 -Stephen King Tax me for F**ks sake 7 -Hate crimes on the rise, I hate hate crimes 8 -Billboard likens Global Warming believers to Unabomber 9 -Phil Mushnick from NY post says Brooklyn Nets should be called New York Niggers because of Jay Z ownership also call cheerleaders bitches and ho’s 10 -Az Gov Jan Brewer to Defund Planned Parenthood 11 -Welch former CEO of GE says women must over deliver to get ahead no programs of diversity etc 12 -Stand your ground and Marissa Alexander Black woman shot violent lover/husband and she sin jail 13 -African Americans come out against NC anti Gay marriage AFTER overhearing comment 14 -Tennessee passes anti Gateway sex bill . No Hugging or we’ll sue 15 -Octomom bankrupt 16 -Spirit Airlines to charge 100 carry on fee – they sell 9 dollar tickets 17 -Clippers up 3-0 Knicks almost done May 12, 2012

Topics Include: Joel Ward, Derrick Rose, Heat destry Knicks, Housing hit rock bottom?, Romney says borrow money from parents, GM CEO needs more money, Worker Productivity, Dan Savage, Thinking undermines faith, Zimmerman collects $200K, Obama and Kimmel kill at press dinner, Dutch ban tourist weed - no more tourism. May 01, 2012

Topics Include: Antonio Cromartie Reality Show, Metta World Peace suspended 7 games, TED and R-Rated with weed smoking teddy bear, Hunger Games is replaced by Think Like A Man at #1, President using executive powers, AZ immigration law goes to Supreme Court, More Mexicans leaving US than entering, WalMart brbery in Mexico, Voting laws could hurt Obama, Gingrich may exit presidential race, Senator Orin Hatch forced to fight for his job, Happiness costs $50k/year, down from $75k. Apr 26, 2012

Topics Include: Tax Day, Secret Service Prostitutes, Hillary Rosen vs. Ann Romney Work vs. Home, Romney says 92% of jobs lost under Obama were women's jobs, Women focus of NRA convention bring on "Bra Holster", Ted Nugent at NRA: "If Obama reelected this time next year I'll be in jail or dead", Tupac hologram at Coachella, Kim Kardashian wants to be mayor of Glendale in 5 years. Apr 19, 2012

Who's Paying Attention? #5Topics Include: George Zimmerman donations, Oklahoma shootings, Supreme Court and California prisoners getting free health care, Santorum bows out, Allen West says tanning salon tax racist, Ozzie Guillen, Tebow Easter services, Bubba Watson wins Masters, Taxes Americans support, homophobes are secretly gay, Sony asks excutives to return bonuses BEFORE laying off 10,000, Mike Wallace passed away. Apr 13, 2012

Who's Paying Attention? #4Topics Include: Who I am and why I think that way, UK and Baylor, Obamacare vs Supreme Court, General Service Admin Party in Vegas, Sarah Palin on The Today Show, Oakland Shooting, Trevon Martin, Dallas Tornadoes, OK wins NCAA. Apr 06, 2012

Who's Paying Attention? #3Topics Include:Trevon MartinHoodiesSupreme CourtCheney's new heartNFL ScandalTebow to the JetsMagic Johnson owns the DodgersTiger WoodsHunger Games racismJet Blue pilot goes nuts Mar 30, 2012

Who's Paying Attention? #2Topics Include: George Zimmerman, March Madness, Tim Tebow, Bill Maher, iPad and Hunger Games. Mar 27, 2012

Who's Paying Attention? #1Topics Include: Flight Attendants, Texting While Driving, John Carter, and more! Mar 17, 2012