My guest this week is Dr. Paul Kesselman, a clinical psychologist and close friend of mine. It was Paul’s second time on the podcast (the previous episode is here) and another great discussion. This time we focused on how to keep open lines of communication with our kids. Topics we discussed included: The advantages of keeping open dialogue with our kids Creating a safe environment for our kids to talk with us The downside of coming to our kids with an agenda Talking at, to, or with kids Making sure children are engaged when we’re speaking with them Capitalizing on moments when our kids are available to talk with us How early to start thinking about open dialogue with children Many children’s preference to go to Mom to talk rather than Dad How to deal respond when our kids do something wrong Shifting from content to process with our kids Remembering our goals in our interactions with our children Our expectations for how children “should” respond to our critiques and corrections Letting kids know we’re there while also respecting their privacy and space The downsides of jumping in to fix or resolve things for our kids The book Paul referenced, The Blessing of a Skinned Knee (affiliate link) Paul Kesselman, PsyD, completed his doctoral degree in psychology at Yeshiva University. He has taught college level courses in child psychology. He has been working in private practice seeing individuals, families, and running groups since 2003. Paul works with children as young as four years of age and sees children, pre- teens, adolescents, families, young adults, and adults. He has also conducted research studies on social anxiety at New York State Psychiatric Institute. Paul grew up in the suburbs of Philadelphia. He and his wife have five children; he enjoys spending time with his family, listening to music, and playing baseball when he is not helping patients and families. He has a passion for his work and enjoys the opportunity to work with issues such as anxiety, depression, ADHD, autism spectrum disorders, learning issues, OCD, anger issues, impulse control disorders, school avoidance and refusal, and adjustments issues. Paul has spoken at both public and private area schools on a variety of topics including ADHD, anxiety, special needs children, and school anxiety. Learn more about Paul and his therapy practice at his website.

My guest this week is Dr. Nadia Colburn, a poet and author of a new book of poetry entitled I Say the Sky (affiliate link).  Topics we discussed included: Developing greater interest in poetry later in life Turning to poetry as a spiritual or devotional practice The ability of poetry to express or point to things that are difficult to capture The emotional connection that poetry can inspire Presence that exists outside of traditional narrative Readings from Nadia’s books Wanting to live and yet forgetting we’re alive right here and now Mistaking the world for a task Making the body more spacious so it can contain more The ongoing life of the past into the present The dialogue between writing and meditation Letting go of the desire to show that we’re good and acceptable Nadia’s description and evocation of the experience of anxiety in her poem “Anxiety” The missingness of poetry, according to Kieran Setiya Nadia Colburn, PhD, is also the author of The High Shelf. Her poetry and prose have appeared in more than 80 publications, including the New Yorker, American Poetry Review, Kenyon Review, Spirituality & Health, Lion’s Roar, and the Yale Review. Nadia holds a PhD in English from Columbia University. She is the founder of Align Your Story writing school, which brings traditional literary and creative writing studies together with mindfulness, embodied practices, and social and environmental engagement. Learn more about Nadia at her website, where you can also find meditations and other free resources.

My guest this week is Dr. Carla Naumburg, a clinical social worker and author with a brand new book called How to Stop Freaking Out: The Ultimate Guide to Keeping Cool When Life Feels Chaotic. This is an excellent guide for young people who are struggling with overwhelming emotions. Topics we discussed included: The defining features of a freak-out The balance between acknowledging big emotions and controlling freak-outs The difficulty in controlling an active freak-out The role of the prefrontal cortex (PFC) in regulating emotions and behavior Fight, flight, freeze, flip-out, and fix as different manifestations of freaking out Why freak-outs happen in spite of the costs Handling the triggers that can push our buttons Checking in with your body as a way to manage emotions The power of thoughts, for good and for ill The crucial difference between feelings and thoughts Whether it’s helpful to express anger through, e.g., punching a pillow Carla Naumburg, PhD, LICSW, is a clinical social worker and the author of five books, including the bestselling How to Stop Losing Your Sh*t With Your Kids. Her writing has appeared in The New York Times, The Washington Post, The Huffington Post, CNN, and Mindful Magazine, among other places. Carla lives in Massachusetts with her husband and two daughters.

My guest this week is Diane Manser, a long-time high school teacher with an important message that she shares in her recent book, I Didn’t Sign Up for This: One Classroom Teacher’s Journey Through Emotional Fatigue to Personal Empowerment (affiliate link).  Topics we discussed included: What led Diane to become a teacher The best and hardest aspects of teaching The point at which my guest started to wonder what she had signed up for Aspects of teaching that can lead to frustration and burnout Some of the needs and expectations that teachers can bring to the classroom Embracing organic developments while teaching Teaching as a both/and experience that is both rewarding and challenging Experiencing of meanness from students The emotional elements of being a teacher Learning to recognize the familiar reactions we have to certain types of people How being a teacher can force a person to grow on a personal level Diane Manser is a devoted high school English teacher in the Philadelphia suburbs, focusing most of her teaching career in the ninth grade. She is the founder of Teaching is Emotional, which encourages educational leaders, current teachers, and emerging teachers to support teachers’ emotional strength as they navigate a challenging profession. Diane loves to be the sunshine in people’s days and to find joy in the simplest of moments. She relishes summertime at the beach, self-discovery podcasts and non-fiction books, TV watching with her husband, and playing with her kids. Find Diane online at her website and join her private Facebook group Teaching Is Emotional.

My guest this week is Dr. Scott Rick, an associate professor of marketing and author of a great book called Tightwads and Spendthrifts: Navigating the Money Minefield in Real Relationships (affiliate link).  Topics we discussed included: Why our relationship with money is often complicated, no matter how much we have Where our attitudes toward money and spending come from Mental and emotional tendencies that predispose a person to being a tightwad The tendency to act more like one’s parents as one moves through adulthood My own tightwad tendencies, on the tightwad-spendthrift scale The daily suffering that tightwads experience from not spending money The lack of distress that spendthrifts feel about spending money The tendency to unfairly criticize spendthrifts more than tightwads Spendthrifts shopping for things they might need The extent to which being a spendthrift or tightwad may be domain specific Possible generational or situational effects on spending attitudes and habits The experiences that tightwads often miss out on Feeling like we have more money when we’re willing to spend it The tendency to treat a raise and higher cost of living differently, especially for spendthrifts Shopping momentum and what-the-hell behavior among spendthrifts Why spendthrifts tend not to learn from their overspending Why spending regret tends to be different for material things vs. experiences Personality correlates of spendthrifts and tightwads Why tightwads and spendthrifts often wind up together in romantic relationships Whether it’s better for couples to have joint or separate bank accounts The degree of financial transparency that is ideal for couples Scott Rick, PhD, is an associate professor of marketing at the University of Michigan’s Ross School of Business. Scott received his PhD in Behavioral Decision Research from Carnegie Mellon in 2007, and he then spent two years as a post-doctoral fellow at Wharton. His research focuses on understanding the emotional causes and consequences of consumer financial decision-making, with a particular interest in the behavior of tightwads and spendthrifts. The overarching goal of his work is to understand when and why consumers behave differently than they should behave (defined by an economically rational benchmark, a happiness-maximizing benchmark, or by how people think they should behave), and to develop marketing and policy interventions to improve consumers’ decision making and well-being. Find Scott online at his website where you can learn more about his work.

My guest this week is philosopher and counselor Dr. Samir Chopra, author of the fascinating new book, Anxiety: A Philosophical Guide (affiliate link).  Topics we discussed included: The extent to which we are experiencing unique levels of anxiety in human history Philosophical inquiry that springs from anxiety The unconscious cognitive work we do to make the world sensible and navigable My guest’s loss of both parents fairly early in life and the consequences on his psyche Comparing our experienced misfortunes to the visible misfortunes of others The fear of not making the best use of our lives Being in the moment as an antidote to continual anxiety The Buddhist explanation of why anxiety can persist even when all is well Freedom from suffering through seeing the persistence of self as an illusion Managing and reducing anxiety vs. living with it Viewing anxiety as an ever-present entity in one’s life Samir Chopra, PhD, is a philosophical counselor and professor emeritus of philosophy at Brooklyn College and the Graduate Center of the City University of New York. He’s the author and coauthor of many books, including Shyam Benegal, A Legal Theory for Autonomous Artificial Agents, and Eye on Cricket. His essays have appeared in the Nation, the Los Angeles Review of Books, Aeon, Psyche, and other publications. Find Samir online at his website where you can learn more about his work and contact him about counseling sessions.

My guest this week is Dr. Marla Deibler, a clinical psychologist who specializes in treating anxiety. We discussed her excellent new book, The BFRB Recovery Workbook (affiliate link). Check out the publisher’s website where you can download many free worksheets and resources. Topics we discussed included: When a body-focused repetitive behavior becomes a diagnosable disorder Common physical consequences of BFRBs Behaviors associated with the hair-pulling of trichotillomania, a type of BFRB The buildup of hair in the digestive system (trichobezoar) from ingesting hair What makes BFRBs so hard to stop The rewarding feeling that often accompanies BFRBs Fixing something with a BFRB that doesn’t feel quite right Why willpower alone is usually not enough to stop BFRBs Ambivalence in the process of change: wanting to change and not wanting to change The importance of a functional analysis to understand what drives behaviors Wanting to jump to fixing a problematic behavior before understanding it The importance of awareness for treatment Practicing incompatible responses to interrupt the habit of BFRBs The relation of BFRBs to OCD and other types of compulsive behaviors The important role of acceptance and Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT) The problems of using punishment to shape behavior Marla W. Deibler, PsyD, ABPP, is a Licensed Clinical Psychologist, Board-Certified in Behavioral and Cognitive Psychology, and Founder/Executive Director of The Center for Emotional Health of Greater Philadelphia. Marla serves on the Faculty of the Behavior Therapy Training Institute (BTTI) of the International OCD Foundation. She serves as President of the Board of Directors of OCD NJ, the NJ affiliate of the IOCDF, Consultant for the New Jersey Center for Tourette Syndrome, Visiting Clinical Supervisor at the Rutgers University Psychological Services Clinic, and Executive Council member of the ACBS OCD SIG. She is co-author of The BFRB Recovery Workbook: A Step-By-Step Guide to Effective Recovery from Hair Pulling, Skin Picking, Nail Biting, and Other Body-Focused Repetitive Behaviors. Find Marla online at her website.

My guest this week is Dr. Alissa Jerud, a clinical psychologist who specializes in treating anxiety. Topics we discussed included: The anxiety conditions Alissa treats Anxiety related to pregnancy and fertility The difficulty of experiencing miscarriage My guest’s own experience of two miscarriages The conditioned anxiety after the first loss Pregnancy as a perfect setup for anxiety Dealing with the desire to avoid distressing reminders The benefits of facing certain things that are painful Talking with others about difficult experiences Learning to sit with uncertainty Accepting the possibility that things might not go the way we want them to Ways that we try to subtly protect ourselves from anxiety or disappointment Embracing the good and the bad—opening to all of it The benefits and limitations of cognitive techniques for dealing with worry The willingness to talk with and listen to those who have experienced miscarriage Alissa Jerud, PhD, is a licensed clinical psychologist working in private practice and a Clinical Assistant Professor of Psychology in the Department of Psychiatry at the University of Pennsylvania. She completed her doctoral training at the University of Washington and did a postdoctoral fellowship at the University of Pennsylvania’s Center for the Treatment and Study of Anxiety. In her private practice, Alissa specializes in exposure-based treatment of anxiety-related disorders, including obsessive-compulsive disorder (OCD), posttraumatic stress disorder (PTSD), social anxiety, panic disorder, specific phobias, and generalized anxiety. Additionally, she specializes in Dialectical Behavior Therapy (DBT) skills training, which includes skills in mindfulness, emotion regulation, distress tolerance, and interpersonal effectiveness. Alissa is passionate about helping as many people as possible, not only through her clinical work, but also through her writing and speaking engagements. She enjoys training other clinicians in exposure-based treatments and frequently gives workshops on anxiety, stress, mental health, parenting, and social support to companies large and small. She especially enjoys helping parents (including herself) learn to accept, regulate, and tolerate their emotions, as well as their children’s. Find Alissa online at her website.

My guest this week for part 5 of our series on mindful awareness is Ethan Nichtern, author of a new book called Confidence: Holding Your Seat Through Life’s Eight Worldly Winds (affiliate link). Topics we discussed included: Confidence as trusting we can navigate our own minds Making friends with our inner experience Equanimity as realizing that everything affects you The eight worldly winds or forces: Pleasure/pain Praise/blame Influence/insignificance Success/failure Showing up and working with whatever happens to us Mindfulness leading one to feel more but suffer less The first arrow/second arrow metaphor from Buddhism Not pretending something painful is not painful The normalness of reacting to the eight worldly winds Being willing to admit that we’re having an experience we’re having Why hope can be a trap just as much fear is The stress that comes with the possibility of good things The longing to be OK … in every way … forever The incredible power in just knowing what our mind is doing Mindfulness as a good way to practice working with the mind Ethan Nichtern is a renowned contemporary Buddhist teacher and the author of The Dharma of the Princess Bride, One City, and the widely acclaimed The Road Home (affiliate link). Since 2002, Ethan has taught meditation and Buddhist psychology classes and workshops in New York City and around North America.  He has lectured at meditation/yoga centers, conferences, and universities including Brown, Yale, and NYU. Ethan has been featured by CNN, NPR, the New York Times, Vogue, and Business Insider, and has written for the Huffington Post, Beliefnet, Lion’s Roar, Tricycle, Buddhadharma, and more. He lives in Brooklyn. Find Ethan online at his website and find his courses at Dharma Moon.

My guest this week is Amanda Knox, author of the New York Times bestselling book Waiting to be Heard (affiliate link). Amanda’s name is probably familiar to you because she was in the news a lot over a decade ago when she was tried for murder in Italy. Even though she was convicted, it turned out the charges were completely false, and eventually she was fully exonerated. Topics we discussed included: Amanda’s history of being falsely accused of murder The power of the anchoring bias in maintaining false impressions My guest’s feelings toward the prosecutor on her case Letting go of the need for other people to believe certain things about us The fundamental insight that there is nothing between you and your well-being Figuring out what we can give or take action on, instead of waiting for others to give us what we need Deciding not to be the victim Discovering what no one can take away from you The inherent opportunity in any kind of experience The deep empathy that comes from Amanda’s experience Grieving the loss of the life that could have been The freedom of recognizing that everything is in flux all the time Realizing that this actually is my life, and choosing intentionally to live it Tolerating anything for short bouts of time (with reference to The Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt) My guest’s relationship with comedy “Hurt Feelings” by Flight of the Conchords Laughing at the absurdity of our self-seriousness Twitter: @amandaknox; KnoxRobinson.com; podcast Labyrinths; Instagram amomdaknox Amanda Knox is an exoneree, journalist, public speaker, and co-host, with her partner Christopher Robinson, of the podcast Labyrinths. Between 2007 and 2015, she spent nearly four years in an Italian prison and eight years on trial for a murder she didn’t commit. She has since become an advocate for criminal justice reform and media ethics. She sits on the board of the Frederick Douglass Project for Justice. Find Amanda online on X/Twitter and Instagram and on her website, and check out her excellent podcast Labyrinths that she co-hosts with Christopher Robinson.

My guest this week is Brett Larkin, yoga instructor and author of Yoga Life: : Habits, Poses, and Breathwork to Channel Joy Amidst the Chaos (affiliate link). Topics we discussed included: Practicing yoga with awareness The appeal of yoga for helping us remember that we’re more than our minds and brains Yoga as a “science laboratory” to observe what’s happening internally and how one responds to life The moment my guest discovered what yoga can teach us about ourselves How to distinguish our highest Self from the inner strategist that keeps us in unhelpful patterns Looking for opportunities to move through life in a new way Crafting a yoga practice to offer you what you need 20 minutes as a thoroughly adequate length of yoga practice Self-care and being one’s own parents The complementary energies of the masculine (Shiva) and feminine (Shakti) Balancing acceptance and change, as in Dialectical Behavior Therapy (DBT) Prioritizing the breath in yoga as a means to awareness The non-optimal inhibited breathing we often get trapped in A brief guided experience in healthy breathing Discovering through yoga that there is a healthier way to live Brett Larkin is the founder of Uplifted Yoga and the author of Yoga Life. She has trained thousands of yoga teachers, and her training has set the standard for quality online certification since 2015. Brett’s award-winning YouTube channel has with over half a million subscribers, and her Uplifed Yoga Podcast empowers listeners to actively design their lives using yoga’s ancient wisdom. Yoga enthusiasts love her courses on Kundalini, Prenatal Yoga, and the Uplifted Yoga Academy. Learn more about Brett and her practice at her website.

My guest this week is psychologist Dr. Steve Taylor, author of the new book, The Adventure: A Practical Guide to Spiritual Awakening (affiliate link). Topics we discussed included: The practical components of “enlightenment” or “spiritual awakening” Commonalities across different spiritual traditions The unease and anxiety created by a sense of separateness from the world and others The fundamental background unease humans tend to feel The hijacking of spiritual awakening by the ego Aligning yourself with the organic impulse toward growth and greater awareness The process of waking up and transforming through intense suffering The naturalness of waking up, which often happens spontaneously Disidentification with the thought mind as the first step in spiritual awakening The difference between identifying vs. deidentifying with a worry The power of emptying one’s mind The relative amount of time spent in absorption, abstraction, and awareness A “gentle mental nudge” to spend more time in awareness Accepting your non-acceptance and embracing your imperfections Steve Taylor, PhD, is the author of many bestselling books. He’s senior lecturer in psychology at Leeds Beckett University and the chair of the Transpersonal Psychology Section of the British Psychological Society.  Steve’s articles and essays have been published in over 100 academic journals, magazines, and newspapers. He blogs for Scientific American and Psychology Today. Visit him online at his website. 

My guest this week is psychologist Dr. Beth Kurland, author of the new book, You Don’t Have to Change to Change Everything: Six Ways to Shift Your Vantage Point, Stop Striving for Happy, and Find True Well-Being (affiliate link). We begin with a calming guided meditation that Beth led. Topics we discussed included: The assumption that not feeling at ease is a personal failure Being with our distress without being swallowed up by it Cultivating well-being in the absence of happiness The role of self-compassion in well-being Recognizing and connecting with a deeper part of ourselves, whether we call is Self, spirit, or soul Seeing the world from our Wise Self Living from our head vs. being more connected to and aware of the body Contraction vs. expansion in the area around the heart Why we don’t habitually run toward our body and wise Self as refuges A simple practice for coming back into one’s body Proper breathing for calming the nervous system Beth Kurland, PhD, is a clinical psychologist with three decades of experience. She is also a TEDx and public speaker, a mind-body coach, and an author of three award-winning books: Dancing on The Tightrope; The Transformative Power of Ten Minutes; and Gifts of the Rain Puddle.  Beth blogs for Psychology Today and is the creator of the Well-Being Toolkit online program. She lives in the Boston area. For more, visit her website.  

My guest this week is Dr. Peter Levine, who is well-known for being the developer of Somatic Experiencing. He’s also the author of a new book: An Autobiography of Trauma: A Healing Journey (affiliate link), which we focused on in this very enjoyable and meaningful discussion. Peter shared about how his own wounds from early in life were a big part of what led him into the field of trauma therapy. We explored how the healing continues, even now in Peter’s ninth decade. Topics we discussed included: What Peter means when he describes himself as a modern “Chiron” Using our own wounds in life as we’re working to help others Getting to trauma memories and healing through embodiment in somatic experiencing The horrific trauma Peter experienced early in his life The dream that led Peter to share this book rather than writing it only for his own healing The significance of dreams for waking life Learning to attend to the promptings of the unconscious mind The relation between somatic experiencing and an approach like cognitive behavioral therapy The role of the vagus nerve in the trauma response and in healing Using the body to encounter our traumas in a healing way Why a union of the body and mind tends to reduce anxiety The disconnection we so often experience between our minds and bodies Peter’s reaction to a meditation workshop several decades ago The idea of “living your dying” Connections between death and the divine The promises and pitfalls of psychedelics Peter Levine, PhD, is the renowned developer of Somatic Experiencing. He holds a doctorate in medical and biological Physics from the University of California at Berkeley and a doctorate in psychology from International University. The recipient of four lifetime achievement awards, he is the author of several books, including Waking the Tiger, which has now been printed in 33 countries and has sold over a million copies. Learn more about: Peter Levine Somatic Experiencing An Autobiography of Trauma

My guest this week is Nick Davies, back for his third time on the podcast. This time we focused on issues related to midlife, as this is part 3 of our series on that topic. Things we discussed included: Nick’s personal backstory and his decision to make a big change in his mid-thirties Asking the right questions that can lead us to fulfillment The danger of “normality” that doesn’t serve us well Waiting for life to open up for you vs. creating the life you want Unhelpful beliefs that can lead us to take a passive role in our own lives Steven Covey’s Seven Habits of Highly Effective People The Happiness Project by Gretchen Rubin Shambhala: The Sacred Path of the Warrior Setting up your environment in a way that helps you flourish (e.g. life-giving relationships) Knowing when to change ourselves vs. changing the situation Returning to my clinical practice with a different mindset Nick Davies is a Tony Robbins-trained coach with over 20 years of experience in the corporate world. Nick’s sweet spot for delivering value is working with high achieving financial advisors who want to add zero’s to their business but aren’t willing to sacrifice their health or time with family, Growing up in England, living across 3 continents and 5 locations, Nick takes the lessons from his extensive exposure to people and business, and applies them to his life and his clients. His focus is to get to the heart of what people really want. Nick believes most of us leave our personal and business potential on the table and settle – and is on a mission to relieve the suffering that can bring. With over 3500 hours of coaching and counting, Nick has worked with many different types of people and businesses to create massive awareness and abundance in those areas. He believes in holding high standards for himself and his clients. That means a focus on results, but also a focus on compassion. Find Nick online at LinkedIn.

My guest this week is Dr. Kieran Setiya, a philosophy professor at MIT and author of Midlife: A Philosophical Guide (affiliate link). Topics we discussed included: The extent to which midlife is a time of crisis Elliott Jaques’s coining of the term “midlife crisis” in 1965 Data showing that life satisfaction is U-shaped, with a low in middle age Common significant challenges in midlife Past, Present, and Future The feeling of having missed out on other possible lives The tremendous loss we would experience if missing out were not possible The power of philosophy in the self-help space The poetic quality of Kieran’s writing and its likely origins The overvaluing of having options for their own sake, even if it costs us in absolute satisfaction Value beyond removing problems and suffering A vision of life beyond striving for “neutral” The tension between feeling like what we do matters, and yet life feels completely pointless The profundity of hobbies as gratuitous activities that aren’t aimed at solving problems What my guest has found is worth doing beyond addressing unmet needs The distinction between telic (project) and atelic (process) activities The societal pressure and value to be project-focused Why we’re bothered by our nonexistence after death much more than our nonexistence before birth Understanding what it would really mean to be immortal How the arc of a life is different from a movie or a book Kieran Setiya, PhD, is professor and philosophy section head at MIT. He works mainly in ethics, epistemology, and the philosophy of mind. Kieran’s other books include Practical Knowledge, Reasons without Rationalism, Knowing Right from Wrong, and Life Is Hard, which was named one of the best books of 2022 by the Economist and the New Yorker. Kieran has also written about stand-up comedy, HP Lovecraft, baseball, free will, and the meaning of life. Find Kieran online at his website and on Substack.

My guest this week is Dr. James Hollis, a therapist and author of many books, including Finding Meaning in the Second Half of Life: How to Finally, Really Grow Up (affiliate link). Topics we discussed included: Common struggles one tends to experience in midlife The part of our psyche (soul) that knows us better than we know ourselves The agenda of the first and second halves of an average-length life Why certain issues tend to arise at midlife and not sooner The Buddha’s experiences before and after enlightenment Missing out on the opportunity to find a different solution to unaddressed problems Asking metaphorically what the gods intend through us Living in harmony with our inevitable mortality The Self working to overthrow the ego Asking what the symptoms we’re having are pointing to or asking of us Depression as a reorienting of energies when we’re at odds with ourselves Why popular culture ideas about intimate relationships tend to lead to unhappiness The contrasting realities of “being in love with” and loving another person What it means to leave one’s family of origin for the second time The projection that is part of the origin of any relationship The growth that often comes through challenges and pain The cost to ourselves and our loved ones of denying our calling Aligning vocation with one’s work life How to successfully navigate the challenges of midlife James Hollis, PhD, is a Jungian analyst based in Washington, DC. He is the author of many books, including his latest, A Life of Meaning (affiliate link). Find Jim online at his website.

My guest this week is Dr. Joel Minden, a clinical psychologist, therapist, author of Show Your Anxiety Who’s Boss (affiliate link), and frequent guest on the podcast. This conversation focused on men in therapy. Topics we discussed included: The extent to which men tend to be interested in and open to psychotherapy Fears that men might bring to therapy The significant overlap in the issues men and women deal with and what brings them to therapy The challenge of dealing effectively with anger More frequent externalizing disorders among men, e.g., substance use, aggression Gender differences in suicide attempts and death by suicide Male/female differences in therapy based on roles, e.g., mom vs. dad, husband vs. wife Variability among men or women compared to average differences between men and women Changes over time in men’s attitudes toward and participation in therapy Trying to suppress strong or difficult emotions Deflecting the thread of a discussion when running into difficult material The idea of reclaiming an “alpha” masculinity Confusion and uncertainty about what it means to be a male in our society The benefit of normalization in therapy and in life Joel Minden, PhD, is a clinical psychologist specializing in cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT) for anxiety and related disorders. He is the author of Show Your Anxiety Who’s Boss (affiliate link), founder of the Chico Center for Cognitive Behavior Therapy, diplomate of The Academy of Cognitive and Behavioral Therapies, and lecturer in the Department of Psychology at California State University, Chico. Find Joel online at his website and read his blog on Psychology Today.

My guest this week is Dr. Michelle Drapkin, a clinical psychologist, therapist, and author of an excellent new workbook called The Motivational Interviewing Path to Personal Change: The Essential Workbook for Creating the Life You Want (affiliate link). Topics we discussed included: What motivational interviewing (MI) is and why the name is misleading Ambivalence toward change and how it’s addressed with MI Living our values in the midst of our ambivalence Finding different and more productive avenues to pursue our values Prochaska and DiClemente and the Stages of Change model Pre-contemplation Contemplation Preparation Action Maintenance Why change is not a completely linear process How much of our behavior is conscious and intentional vs. automatic Realizing that it’s normal for the mind to think of off-the-wall things The meaning (or meaninglessness) of dreams The book The Alchemist What led Michelle to adapt MI for a self-help workbook The practice of “rolling with resistance,” now renamed “dancing with discord” Encouraging change talk vs. trying to convince someone they have to change Michelle Drapkin, PhD, ABPP, is a board-certified psychologist who owns and operates the Cognitive Behavioral Therapy Center, and has worked in behavioral science for over 20 years. She has held various roles as a behavioral scientist in industry, including leading the development and deployment of behavior change interventions at Johnson & Johnson. Michelle was a national motivational interviewing (MI) trainer at the Department of Veterans Affairs (VA), and was on faculty at the University of Pennsylvania. She completed her PhD in clinical psychology from Rutgers, The State University of New Jersey; and joined the Motivational Interviewing Network of Trainers (MINT) in 2008. She has trained thousands of health care professionals and industry leaders in MI. Find Michelle online at her website and on LinkedIn.

My guest this week is Dr. Regine Galanti, a licensed psychologist and author of the amazing new book, Parenting Anxious Kids: Understanding Anxiety in Children by Age and Stage (affiliate link). It was Regine’s second time on the podcast and we had another great conversation. Topics we discussed included: Regine’s fantastic new book Less-frequently recognized signs of anxiety in young kids Why anxious parents often have anxious kids The online information for parents that often makes kids’ anxiety worse The issues my guest takes with “gentle parenting” The negative effects on kids of missing school due to anxiety Parents’ concerns about how the way they respond to their child’s anxiety will hurt their relationship Building the relationship with a child outside of the “anxiety zone” The shortcomings of so-called “tough love” when it comes from anger or fear The challenges when a parent of an anxious child isn’t ready to face their own fears All-or-nothing approaches to responding to a child’s anxiety The opportunities that kids offer in terms of parents’ growth Ways that a parent-child relationship can grow by working through hard things together Regine Galanti, PhD, is a licensed psychologist who focuses on helping kids and teens with anxiety. She specializes in cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT) and has expertise in treating OCD, anxiety, parenting, and behavioral problems. She’s the founder of Long Island Behavioral Psychology, where she brings warmth, sensitivity, and a problem solving approach to her practice.  Regine specializes in effective short-term treatments that work for anxiety and related disorders, including exposure therapy. She lives in Long Island, New York with her husband and three daughters.  She’s quick to acknowledge that they all get anxious sometimes, and that’s okay. In addition to this new book, she’s also the author of Anxiety Relief for Teens and When Harley Has Anxiety. Find Regine online at her website and on Twitter and Instagram.

My guest this week is Dr. David Tolin, a clinical psychologist, researcher, author, and expert on effective treatments for many psychological conditions. In this conversation we focused on hoarding disorder, and then segued into a more general discussion about cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT) and other treatment approaches. Topics we discussed included: The continuum of hoarding The diagnostic criteria for when hoarding is considered a disorder Instances of needing to buy a second home due to hoarding The prevalence of hoarding disorder The causes of hoarding How those who are at risk for hoarding disorder can minimize the risk of developing it The limits of reason and logic in treating hoarding Effective hoarding treatment The possibility that the medications atomoxetine and venlafaxine might be effective The role of distress tolerance in treatment Prioritizing living better over feeling better The value of strategies from motivational interviewing Effectiveness of the best treatments The effects on hoarding of general talk therapy Whether cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT) is the best treatment for every condition How to harness the placebo effect in therapy Finding mutual respect across therapy traditions The need for more effective psychological treatment Doing higher quality research studies What to do when the best-tested treatments aren’t helpful Historical advancements in CBT for panic disorder The textbook that David wrote calling Doing CBT David Tolin, PhD, ABPP, is the Founder and Director of the Anxiety Disorders Center at the Institute of Living, and an Adjunct Professor of Psychiatry at Yale University School of Medicine. He is the Past-President of the Association for Behavioral and Cognitive Therapies, the Past-President of the Clinical Psychology Division of the American Psychological Association, and a principal investigator for the National Institutes of Health. He received the Awards for Distinguished Contribution to the Science of Psychology, Distinguished Contribution to the Practice of Psychology, and Lifetime Contribution to Psychology from the Connecticut Psychological Association. David is the author of over 200 scientific journal articles, as well as several books, including (affiliate links): Doing CBT: A Comprehensive Guide to Working with Behaviors, Thoughts, and Emotions Buried in Treasures: Help for Compulsive Acquiring, Saving, and Hoarding Face Your Fears: A Proven Plan to Beat Anxiety, Panic, Phobias, and Obsessions. He has been featured on the reality TV series Hoarders and The OCD Project, and has been a recurring guest on The Oprah Winfrey Show. Find David online at his website and at the Institute of Living.

My guest this week is Nir Eyal, author of the excellent book Indistractable: How to Control Your Attention and Choose Your Life (affiliate link). Topics we discussed included: The connection between Nir’s first and second books Nir’s own history of distraction and needing the techniques of Indistractable Using psychological principles to create positive habits the same way social media and advertising companies exploit the principles for their own profit Differentiating between helpful and harmful uses of technology The cost of pervasive distraction Missing out on the important things in life The distractibility that is part of our basic nature The inherent cost of every new technology The internal factors that often drive distraction, e.g., anxiety The 10-Minute Rule from Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT) The psychological reactance that arises as a rebellion to abstinence “Surfing the urge” of challenging emotions to resist unproductive urges A fascinating study about cigarette smoking and nicotine cravings Using time boxing to prevent distraction Turning values into time Being stingy with time and generous with money Prioritizing easy and urgent work over hard and important work The tyranny of the to-do list The joy of doing exactly what you said you were going to Planning time for spontaneity Nir Eyal writes, consults, and teaches about the intersection of psychology, technology, and business. Nir previously taught as a Lecturer in Marketing at the Stanford Graduate School of Business and the Hasso Plattner Institute of Design at Stanford. Nir co-founded and sold two tech companies since 2003 and was dubbed by The M.I.T. Technology Review as, “The Prophet of Habit-Forming Technology.” He is the author of two bestselling books, Hooked: How to Build Habit-Forming Products and Indistractable (affiliate links). His books have resonated with readers worldwide, selling over 1 million copies in over 30 languages. Indistractable has received a lot of critical acclaim, winning the Outstanding Works of Literature Award as well as being named one of the Best Business and Leadership Books of the Year by Amazon and one of the Best Personal Development Books of the Year by Audible. The Globe and Mail called Indistractable, “the best business book of 2019.” In addition to blogging at NirAndFar.com, Nir’s writing has been featured in The New York Times, The Harvard Business Review, Time Magazine, and Psychology Today. Nir attended The Stanford Graduate School of Business and Emory University. Find Nir online at his website and connect with him on LinkedIn, YouTube, Twitter, Instagram, and Facebook.

My guest this week is Oren Jay Sofer. Topics we discussed included: Oren’s new book, Your Heart Was Made for This The ways that our minds and hearts are shaped by the world Scarcity Separation Depletion Understanding the roots of suffering and how to relieve suffering Our mistaken belief and wish that consumption will finally provide ultimate fulfillment and satisfaction Oren’s realization at a young age that all of life is in flux Common effects of social media use, and what drives it How becoming a dad while writing his most recent book affected Oren and how he sees the world Finding unconditional love and acceptance My guest’s experience of persistent Lyme Disease Finding a kind of joy that doesn’t depend on our conditions The inseparable nature of joy and sorrow The joy that comes from living in alignment with the truth Embracing the mess of our lives, just as they are Oren Jay Sofer teaches Buddhist meditation, mindfulness, and communication internationally. He holds a degree in comparative religion from Columbia University and is a Certified Trainer of Nonviolent Communication and a Somatic Experiencing Practitioner for the healing of trauma. Born and raised in New Jersey, Oren is the author of several books, including the best-selling title Say What You Mean: A Mindful Approach to Nonviolent Communication along with his latest, Your Heart Was Made for This. His teaching has reached people worldwide through online communication courses and guided meditations. Oren lives in the San Francisco Bay Area with his wife and son, where he enjoys cooking, spending time in nature, and home woodworking projects. Find Oren online at his website and connect with him on Twitter, Facebook, and Instagram.

My guest this week is Dr. Paul Kesselman, a clinical psychologist in private practice in Devon, Pennsylvania. Topics we discussed included: The difference between healing and curing My own experience of illness and curing vs. healing A therapy scene from the Oscar-winning movie “Good Will Hunting” Validating pain and then pivoting to what is productive Show about a wrestler born with no arms (HBO?) Reacting to difficulties in life such as a poor night’s sleep How we react to our mistakes When therapy is over (or paused) Preventing therapist burnout Shifting as a therapist from curing to collaborating Asking what we can learn when we feel stuck Growth vs. fixed mindsets The value in being emptied out Being authentic as a therapist The intense feelings that are often present in the therapy room Non-romantic love as part of the therapy process The therapy-based TV show “In Treatment” Paul Kesselman, PsyD, completed his doctoral degree in psychology at Yeshiva University. He has taught college level courses in child psychology. He has been working in private practice seeing individuals, families, and running groups since 2003. Paul works with children as young as four years of age and sees children, pre- teens, adolescents, families, young adults, and adults. He has also conducted research studies on social anxiety at New York State Psychiatric Institute. Paul grew up in the suburbs of Philadelphia. He and his wife have five children; he enjoys spending time with his family, listening to music, and playing baseball when he is not helping patients and families. He has a passion for his work and enjoys the opportunity to work with issues such as anxiety, depression, ADHD, autism spectrum disorders, learning issues, OCD, anger issues, impulse control disorders, school avoidance and refusal, and adjustments issues. Paul has spoken at both public and private area schools on a variety of topics including ADHD, anxiety, special needs children, and school anxiety. Learn more about Paul and his therapy practice at his website.

My guest this week is Rob Bell. I was so happy that I got to speak with Rob. I’ve been a fan of his work for quite a while now—I listen to his podcast all the time and have read a few of his books, and I’ve just found his work so helpful. I  actually had an opportunity to spend a couple of days at the Rodale Institute where Rob was hosting one of his events where about 30 people come and bring an issue, a question, or a stuck point, and one by one we each sit and talk with Rob as the rest of the group observes. It’s hard to describe exactly what happens, but something kind of shifts and opens up. That was definitely my experience. So it was great to speak with Rob here. We focused mostly on his really cool new book called Where’d You Park Your Spaceship? An Interplanetary Tale of Love, Loss, and Bread (affiliate link). If you haven’t read it already, I strongly suggest you get a copy! It’s fantastic. Topics Rob and I got into included: The ways that Rob shows up in his new novel The outside-of-earth perspective that Where’d You Park Your Spaceship offers The crucial importance of surrendering to the narrative when telling a story, vs. trying to make a point The sense that there is a creative entity within us that to seems to have a mind of its own Following interest and curiosity vs. debt, duty, and obligation The main character’s existential sense of loneliness The importance of moving past denial The Enneagram and knowing the pain of your number Setting aside the pattern and energy of explaining things Reference in the book to Rob’s play, What’s a Knucka? Themes of anger, defiance, and liberation Recognizing one’s part in creating a system one is opposed to The forthcoming second installment of the series Rob Bell is the New York Times bestselling author of 14 books and plays which have been translated into 25 languages. His visual art can be seen on Instagram, his band is HUMANS ON THE FLOOR, and his podcast is called The RobCast. Rob lives with his family in Ojai, California. Learn more about Rob at his website.

My guest this week is Yemado. He’s the director of the Boston School of Boabom, and he’s been teaching Boabom for over 20 years. As you’ll hear, Boabom is a Tibetan system of meditation, relaxation, and self-defense, and this was such an interesting discussion. The topics Yemado and I explored were really familiar ones, and they were also in a whole new context. One of the most valuable parts of this conversation for me was his description of “crashing into yourself” when you pursue consistent practice with something like yoga or meditation or Boabom. Eventually you’ll discover inconvenient truths about yourself, and with persistence you can learn better ways to work with yourself. Toward the end you can follow along as Yemado leads us through a brief guided meditation. Topics we got into included: How Yemado discovered Boabom A book Yemado translated called Recycling with the Mind (affiliate link) What it means to meditate Habitual pathways in the mind, and creating new, more intentional pathways Meditation as rerouting the pathways in the mind Connections among the different benefits of meditation, such as relaxation and mental focus Meditation through movement Finding a “just-right challenge” in meditation Seeing through unhelpful assumptions The risk in skipping from one form of practice to another, and the value in practicing one approach over time “Crashing into yourself” through consistent focused practice Discovering truths about yourself that you’re not happy with through meditation Psychological self-defense as not taking on unnecessary additional stress A brief guided meditation from the Boabom approach Yemado is the foremost teacher in North America of Boabom, an ancient Tibetan system of meditation, relaxation, and self defense. He has brought this practice to thousands of students around the world over more than two decades of teaching, and he has trained Boabom teachers around the world. Yemado is the creator of Boabom Journey, a new 5 star app and video course that allows anyone to learn Boabom on their own schedule. He is the director of the Boston School of Boabom, the principal school dedicated to Boabom in North America. Yemado is also the co-translator and editor of a number of books about Boabom. You can download the highly-rated Boabom app here. Check out a free Boabom class, and learn more about Boston Boabom where Yemado is the Director and senior teacher.

My guest this week is Brent Franson, an entrepreneur and founder and CEO of a company called Most Days. I met Brent a while back when he had me on his podcast. I really wanted to talk with him after I listened to an episode of his podcast where he described the things that led him to the work he does now, which is focused on helping people make positive changes in their lives. Brent talked about his history of addiction and what helped him overcome it. We talked about self-compassion, which is built into the Most Days approach, and the limits of self-improvement. Topics we got into included: The events that led to Brent’s interest in and motivation for positive behavior change Brent’s history of addiction The destructive dynamics of addiction My guest’s experience in rehab Honest with oneself as an essential starting place for change The importance of self-compassion Balancing self-compassion with structure and discipline The important difference between self-criticism and self-critique The limits of self-improvement Allowing yourself to have some off-days The influence of meditation and mindfulness on my guest’s life and work Learning about one’s “inner talk track” Focusing on consistency before intensity when building new habits Check out the Most Days Show and the Most Days app, and contact Brent here. You can hear Brent tell his story on his podcast: Part 1: The Story of Most Days and Part 2: The Importance of Big Decisions. Brent Franson is the founder and CEO of Most Days. A serial entrepreneur, Brent’s interest in entrepreneurial endeavors began in high school when he founded a full-service search technology marketing agency. After moving to Palo Alto in 2005, Brent was on the founding team of Reputation.com, the worldwide leader in online reputation management. Reputation.com was named a Technology Pioneer by the World Economic Forum and was backed by Kleiner Perkins, Bessemer Venture Partners, and August Capital. Most recently, Brent was the CEO of Euclid Analytics, a leader in retail data and analytics backed by Benchmark Capital, NEA, Harrison Metal, and Groupe Arnault. Under his leadership, Euclid was acquired by WeWork in 2019. Brent has been named a LinkedIn Top Voice, and has regularly contributed to Forbes, LinkedIn, Inc, Entrepreneur, and other publications. Brent is a father, and an athlete who enjoys his routine, reading, running, skiing, skydiving, and anything that involves pushing his own boundaries.

My guest this week is Dr. Mitch Abblett. Mitch and I talked about how we can move through anxiety and stress by what he calls “owning the moment.” We explored what that means, how to do it, and maybe most important of all, how to remember to do it. The process itself is really simple—we just bring our attention to the present and let things be as they are. But as I’m sure you know, that’s much easier said than done. Mitch has some really helpful ways to practice more of this style of being in the moment. It involves something he calls “momentology,” which you’ll hear him explain. I really enjoyed this conversation, and toward the end Mitch led me through a short guided exercise that you can follow along with, too. I’m guessing you’ll like it as much as I did. Topics we got into included: What it means to be “mindful” Owning the moment Letting go of a fixation on stories and beliefs The value of coming into the moment when feeling stressed or anxious Using the breath to slow down and create space Engaged acceptance of not having control or possession of our kids How to help ourselves remember to come back to the present and release control The limitations of “hacks” to practice mindful presence The toxic anticipation of “nexting” Finding a resonance between ourselves and our experience, akin to jazz music How to commit to a consistent embrace of the moment Whether formal mindfulness practices are essential for developing a present focus A meditative practice based on the acronym “OWN” The present backlash against mindfulness and meditation Mitch Abblett, PhD, is a clinical psychologist, author, consultant and national/international speaker. His latest book is for parents, educators and helping professionals – Prizeworthy: How to Meaningfully Connect, Build Character, and Unlock the Potential of Every Child. His other publications include: The Five Hurdles to Happiness and the Mindful Path to Overcoming Them The Self-Compassion Deck, Growing Mindful , and other mindfulness-related card decks Helping Your Angry Teen From Anger to Action Train Your Mind Like a Ninja The Unwinding Anxiety Deck (with Dr. Judson Brewer) Mitch’s work has appeared in numerous online and print media such as Psychology Today, Mindful Magazine, The New York Times, Newsweek, Tricycle Magazine, and USA Today. His frequent blog posts regarding mindfulness applications in family and relationships can be found in Mindful Magazine’s companion website Mindful.org as well as on Psychology Today. A clinician in the Boston area for over 20 years, he brings a wealth of clinical, administrative and leadership experience from various settings (hospitals, outpatient clinics, residential facilities and therapeutic schools) to his practice and consulting. For 11 years he served as the Clinical Director of the Manville School at Judge Baker Children’s Center in Boston – a Harvard Medical School-affiliated therapeutic school program for children and adolescents with emotional, behavioral and learning difficulties. He has also served as the Executive Director of the Institute for Meditation and Psychotherapy. Mitch lives with his wife and two children in Newton, Massachusetts.

My guests this week are Drs. Kelly Yanek and Michel Kinderman. I was truly excited to learn more about their dual therapist model where they see each client together—two therapists with a single client. They described how this approach keeps them interested and engaged at work, and makes them look forward to Monday mornings. I think you’ll find this conversation as fascinating as I did. Topics we discussed included: Kelly and Michele’s unique Dual Therapist Model (DTM) of psychotherapy What led my guests to the DTM Burning out as a therapist The advantages of the DTM Having a real-time witness to the best and hardest moments in therapy The finances of doing therapy with two therapists The very different experience of having another therapist in the room The rewarding aspects of practicing with a fellow clinician Important considerations when choosing a co-therapist The continual work of being open and honest with one’s dual therapy partner Navigating the complex relational dynamics in DTM My own interest in a dual therapist approach How to get started in the DTM Kelly and Michele’s DTM training program Michele Kinderman, PhD, is a Licensed Clinical Psychologist and co-founder of Wellness Outside the Box. For nearly two decades, she’s been successfully treating children and adults struggling with trauma, depression, anxiety, relationship conflict, parenting issues, and the stresses of everyday life. Michele combines the more traditional therapies (cognitive behavioral therapy, dialectical behavior therapy, insight oriented therapy) with music, movement, and nature to assist clients in building their strengths and achieving their goals. She also loves animals and offers Pet Therapy. To maintain balance and serenity in her own life, she enjoys hiking, rock climbing, skateboarding, dancing, and spending time with her husband, two sons, and the family dog Zippy. Kelly Yanek, PsyD, is a nationally certified School Psychologist and the other founder of Wellness Outside the Box. Kelly has had a love for the outdoors since she was a little girl climbing trees and exploring nature, and she’s been incorporating this passion for nature and adventure into her work since her career began. In addition to her certification as a school psychologist, Kelly has specialized training in adventure-based counseling and the technical skills of high and low ropes/adventure courses. She’s also a certified yoga instructor. She takes great pride in the progress and success of her clients, and looks forward to helping you. In her free time, you can find Kelly traveling, enjoying the beach, practicing yoga, running, cycling or swimming, and most of all, spending time with her family and friends. Discover more about Kelly and Michelle and the Dual Therapist Model by visiting their website.

My guest this week is psychologist and author Dr. Jill Stoddard, who recently wrote a book called Imposter No More: Overcome Self-Doubt and Imposterism to Cultivate a Successful Career. Jill and I had a great discussion about feeling like an imposter—why it happens, who’s likely to have the experience, and most important, how to deal with those thoughts and feelings. The solution probably won’t be what you expect because the answer is not to force yourself to think and feel differently. Most of us find that our thoughts and feelings kind of have a mind of their own, and trying to make them change is often more frustrating than successful. So if you’ve wrestled with the imposter syndrome, you’ll find this conversation really helpful. Topics we discussed included: What the imposter syndrome is Terminology: imposterism, imposter syndrome, imposter phenomenon Who is likely to feel like an imposter The lack of solid research into imposterism Possible evolutionary adaptations related to feeling like an imposter The degree to which imposterism is based on past experiences Why more success typically is not the answer to feeling like a fraud or out of place Where in our lives imposterism tends to show up most often Jill’s own experience of trying to do more and more and eventually burning out The difficulty in trying to get rid of imposter thoughts and feelings Psychological flexibility as a way to make peace with imposterism Different ways of saying the same thing in the therapy world The different meanings of fear depending on the context Thoughts that are more or less likely to be disputed effectively The difficulty in believing the good things that others see in us Jill Stoddard, PhD, is passionate about sharing science-backed ideas from psychology to help people thrive. She is a psychologist, TEDx speaker, award-winning teacher, peer-reviewed ACT trainer, and cohost of the popular Psychologists off the Clock podcast. Jill has written two books in addition to her latest one: Be Mighty, and The Big Book of ACT Metaphors. Her writing has also appeared in Psychology Today, Scary Mommy, Thrive Global, the Good Men Project, Mindful Return, and The Washington Post. She regularly appears on podcasts as an expert source for various media outlets. Jill lives in Massachusetts with her husband, two kids, and disobedient French bulldog. Find out more about Jill at her website.

I’m all alone for this episode. This week I wanted to talk with you about finding the courage you need to take a bold step forward in your life. It could be anything, from continuing your education to changing jobs or starting to date. Anxiety and uncertainty often hold us back when we know we need to make an important change. But they don’t have to. There are effective ways to move through our hesitation so that nothing stops us from living the life we know is calling us. I hope you get a lot out of this episode. It’s based on the first session of a new course I created called Forward: Finding Courage to Take a Bold Step. The course offers 5 audio sessions that include mindfulness exercises to help you find your center, manage your mindset, and act with awareness and intention. The practices you’ll discover in Forward will help you retrain your thoughts, roll with difficult emotions, and work with whatever life brings you. Each session includes an invitation to practice the things you’ve learned, so you can move from insight to action. The sessions are designed to teach you effective skills without taking a lot of time or energy. They’re audio-based, so you can listen without needing to look at a screen. I’ll be monitoring the Comments section so I can respond to your questions. I’d love to see you there!  

This week I'm continuing my series with Dr. Joel Minden, and we discussed a fun and interesting topic: psychotherapists in popular media, including film, TV, and comic strips. We explored what these depictions get right, the challenges of presenting therapy accurately, and why therapists so often are portrayed as buffoons. Specific topics we touched on included: Common therapist tropes in movies and TV shows The movie Mumford Richard Dreyfuss as Leo Marvin in the 1991 film What About Bob? The accelerated pace of change in dramatized versions of therapy Therapists pushing their patients to “go deeper” and explore painful parts of their lives The TV show Shrinking The “psychiatrist” Lucy Van Pelt in the Peanuts comic strip Robin Williams’s portrayal of therapist Sean Maguire in Good Will Hunting Steve Carrell as therapist Alan Strauss in The Patient Jennifer Melfi (played by Lorraine Bracco) on The Sopranos Gabriel Byrne as therapist Paul Weston on In Treatment The iconic tissue pass in therapy The potentially big impact of small interventions in therapy, and in life Harry Stack Sullivan’s Interpersonal Theory and Psychotherapy (affiliate link) The movie Suture and psychogenic amnesia Larry David’s therapist on Curb Your Enthusiasm The power dynamics of chairs in therapy office Joel Minden, PhD, is a clinical psychologist specializing in cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT) for anxiety and related disorders. He is the author of Show Your Anxiety Who’s Boss (affiliate link), founder of the Chico Center for Cognitive Behavior Therapy, diplomate of The Academy of Cognitive and Behavioral Therapies, and lecturer in the Department of Psychology at California State University, Chico. Find Joel online at his website, follow him on Twitter, and read his blog on Psychology Today.

This week I'm continuing my series with Dr. Joel Minden, and there's no one I'd rather talk with about how to handle worry. Joel is a true expert on this topic. He offers a compassionate, realistic, and effective set of tools for worrying less so you can redirect your energy toward living well. Specific topics we touched on included: Anxiety vs. worry The implicit goal of anxiety The similarities between obsessive-compulsive disorder (OCD) and generalized anxiety disorder (GAD) Intolerance of uncertainty Worry as a learned behavior that is reinforced (rewarded), making it more likely to continue Finding alternatives to replace worry The sense of helplessness that can lead to depression Whether worry can ever be productive The value of writing down one’s worries Possible signatures of unproductive worry Shifting attention to what we can control rather than focusing on the uncontrollable The downsides of distraction as a way to deal with anxiety and worry Accepting uncertainty when the outcome would be truly bad Being more specific about one’s worst-case fears Unhelpful distraction vs. more helpful and productive engagement with life Allowing anxiety to “come along for the ride” The role of meditation in dealing with worries Joel’s use of CBT techniques for dealing with his own worry and anxiety Joel Minden, PhD, is a clinical psychologist specializing in cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT) for anxiety and related disorders. He is the author of Show Your Anxiety Who’s Boss (affiliate link), founder of the Chico Center for Cognitive Behavior Therapy, diplomate of The Academy of Cognitive and Behavioral Therapies, and lecturer in the Department of Psychology at California State University, Chico. Find Joel online at his website, follow him on Twitter, and read his blog on Psychology Today.

This week I’m continuing my series with Dr. Joel Minden. This time we discussed how much can be accomplished in a single psychotherapy session. Joel and I explored single-session interventions, one-session treatments for phobias, and sudden gains. Topics we touched on included: Goals for the first therapy session The hope that often follows a first session One as the modal number of therapy sessions Shorter treatment protocols, including single session interventions (SSIs) The work of Dr. Jessica Schleider and her colleagues 2017 meta-analysis 2017 review 2022 randomized clinical trial The value of helping clients develop flexible responses to emotions and strategies for behavioral change The importance of clinical significance, in addition to statistical significance How to interpret an effect One-Session Treatment for phobias, developed by Öst, and the big effect of exposure on anxiety Sudden gains in the course of psychotherapy treatment The interplay between behavioral and cognitive change The advantages of single-session interventions, including scalability Joel Minden, PhD, is a clinical psychologist specializing in cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT) for anxiety and related disorders. He is the author of Show Your Anxiety Who’s Boss (affiliate link), founder of the Chico Center for Cognitive Behavior Therapy, diplomate of The Academy of Cognitive and Behavioral Therapies, and lecturer in the Department of Psychology at California State University, Chico. Find Joel online at his website, follow him on Twitter, and read his blog on Psychology Today.

My guest once again this week is Dr. Joel Minden. This time we discussed psychotherapy, drawing on the years that each of us has been a therapist. Good therapy has the power to improve thinking patterns, relationships, habits, and even personality, so we explored the unique aspects of the therapy relationship that facilitate these changes. This conversation is the second in a series of several episodes with Joel, with more to come. Topics we touched on included: A Washington Post piece that inspired our discussion, “Why I Fired My Therapists” by Foster Kamer Whether it’s productive to “call out” clients in therapy The problem of always being told one is right as a therapy client Trying to match therapists to clients The dialectic of supporting and challenging in therapy Possible developmental shifts across one’s career as a therapist My experience with a supervisor who berated my client Whether there’s a place for telling clients what they need or ought to do Addressing unhelpful patterns of reinforcement Why telling people what to do generally doesn't work Creating different dynamics in therapy from what people tend to experience elsewhere The uniqueness of the therapy relationship among all other relationships The value in just talking through an issue in order to arrive at a solution The actual self vs. idealized self The risk in being one’s authentic self Joel Minden, PhD, is a clinical psychologist specializing in cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT) for anxiety and related disorders. He is the author of Show Your Anxiety Who’s Boss, founder of the Chico Center for Cognitive Behavior Therapy, diplomate of The Academy of Cognitive and Behavioral Therapies, and lecturer in the Department of Psychology at California State University, Chico. Find Joel online at his website, follow him on Twitter, and read his blog on Psychology Today.

My guest this week is Dr. Joel Minden, a regular on the Think Act Be podcast. This time we switched roles and Joel interviewed me, mostly about my approach to therapy that I describe in my latest book, Mindful Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (affiliate link). This conversation is the first in a series of several episodes with Joel, so stay tuned for more to come. Topics we touched on included: The traditional approach in cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT) The medical model of therapy My background in mindfulness The book Shambhala: The Sacred Path of the Warrior (affiliate link) Parallels between my religious practices as a kid and my early experiences with meditation Mindfulness practice as more than another “technique” for feeling better Allowing oneself to experience difficult emotions instead of trying to get rid of them The challenge in not fighting against our experience The manageability of the moment How cognitive work can support mindfulness practice Contentment that doesn't depend on one’s circumstances Letting go of the struggle against the struggle Feeling bad about “not being mindful enough” My decision to self-disclose about my own struggles The necessity of honesty in any healthy relationship Humor in the context of mindfulness, and taking things less seriously Mindfulness in action, and the value of finding stillness Joel Minden, PhD, is a clinical psychologist specializing in cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT) for anxiety and related disorders. He is the author of Show Your Anxiety Who’s Boss (affiliate link), founder of the Chico Center for Cognitive Behavior Therapy, diplomate of The Academy of Cognitive and Behavioral Therapies, and lecturer in the Department of Psychology at California State University, Chico. Find Joel online at his website, follow him on Twitter, and read his blog on Psychology Today.

My guest this week is Matt Zemon, editor of the excellent new book Psychedelics for Everyone: A Beginner’s Guide to These Powerful Medicines for Anxiety, Depression, Addiction, PTSD, and Expanding Consciousness (affiliate link). Matt also contributed several chapters to this book. This conversation is a great introduction to the world of psychedelics, and Matt is an excellent guide. He’s knowledgeable, compassionate, and he presents a balanced view of the potential place of psychedelics in our lives. Topics we discussed included: What Matt means by “psychedelics for everyone” means The positive effects of psychedelics on a wide range of psychiatric conditions, especially those involving repetitive mental patterns Breaking old patterns of brain activity and creating new ones How psychedelics might have their powerful and lasting positive effects Effects of psychedelics in the spiritual domain Some of my guest’s spiritual experiences with psychedelics Different reasons that people approach psychedelic experimentation and use, including medical, spiritual, and libertarian Navigating the legal restrictions on psychedelic use Psychedelic churches Possible adverse effects of taking psychedelics David Nutt’s study on risk of harm from different psychoactive substances (create a free account with Lancet to view the full article) The possible role of fear and anxiety on reactions to psychedelics The side effects of psychedelics vs. those of existing prescription medications Paying attention to source, set, and setting People who should definitely not take a psychedelic substance SpiritPharmacist.com for medical consults and to discuss potential psychedelic use Matt Zemon, MSc, is a dedicated explorer of the inner world, and a passionate advocate for the thoughtful and responsible use of psychedelics. With a Master of Science in Psychology and Neuroscience of Mental Health with honors from King’s College London, Matt has studied the effects of psychedelics on the mind and the potential for these experiences to serve as a catalyst for positive transformations. His work in this field is motivated by a profound desire to help people navigate the sometimes challenging terrain of the psychedelic experience, and emerge from it with a deeper sense of purpose, connection, and understanding—to reclaim their true self. As an entrepreneur in the wellbeing sector, Matt has co-founded various companies, including: HAPPŸŸ, a mental wellness company specializing in psychedelic-assisted ketamine therapy PSYCHABLE, an online community connecting people who would like to explore the healing power of psychedelics with a network of practitioners and psychedelic-based treatments TAKE2MINUTES, a nonprofit dedicated to helping individuals improve their mental health and wellbeing. For more information visit his website, find him on LinkedIn or Instagram, or contact Matt with your questions. You can order his excellent journal for psychedelic preparation and integration here: Beyond the Trip (affiliate link).

My guest this week is Thomas Moore, a psychotherapist and author of a new book entitled The Eloquence of Silence: Surprising Wisdom in Tales of Emptiness (affiliate link). I was so pleased to have the opportunity to speak with Thomas, since I’ve appreciated his work for about 25 years, going back to Care of the Soul. Topics we discussed included: The role of emptiness in religion and spirituality The possibilities that emerge with emptiness Fostering emptiness as emptiness, not as a space to fill Qualities of emptiness that we often recognize and appreciate in others Dropping the anxious additions we often bring to our interactions The emptiness in good acting Finding the narratives that support unhelpful behaviors Everyday examples of emptiness in our lives Silence in the therapy room Finding meaning in or through emptiness Nicholas of Cusa, author of Sacred Ignorance The value in recognizing how little we know Emptying our concept of what we call “God” Unlearning enough that one is ready to teach Allowing emptiness to be empty Finding that life empties you regularly The disappointments that empty us out—and prepare us for an important change in our lives The difficulty in leaving space in our lives, and the importance of lessening busyness The close association of desire and soul The quiet that seems to have characterized my guest’s life The origins of Thomas’s fear of the water Thomas’s appreciation for the creative individuals in his family, including his wife Joan Hanley’s paintings; daughter Siobhán Moore, also known as the musician Ajeet; and stepson and architect Abraham Bendheim Thomas Moore is the author of The Eloquence of Silence and 24 other books about bringing soul to our personal lives and culture. He wrote the #1 New York Times bestseller Care of the Soul (affiliate link). Thomas has been a Catholic monk and university professor and is also a psychotherapist influenced mainly by C. G. Jung and James Hillman. His work brings together spirituality, mythology, depth psychology, and the arts, emphasizing the importance of images and imagination. For more information visit his website.

My guest this week is psychologist Dr. Noam Shpancer, author of the novel The Good Psychologist (affiliate link). We explored the ongoing crisis in mental health among young people, and discussed possible ways to address it. I really enjoyed talking with Noam and hearing his insights and nuanced perspective on these issues.

My guest this week is Dr. Steve Hayes, one of the most influential psychologists of our time. The first time I had Steve on the podcast back in 2020 we discussed the fundamentals of Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT). This time you’ll see what those ideas look like in action. The second half of our discussion is Steve leading me through a series of invitations and explorations. It was a pretty incredible experience that I can’t really capture by trying to describe it, so I’m glad I can share it with you in this episode.

My guest this week is Dr. Mark Karris, author of the new book, The Diabolical Trinity: Healing Religious Trauma From a Wrathful God, Tormenting Hell, and a Sinful Self. Mark shared about the damaging effects this trio of doctrines can have on people, himself included, and how to heal. Topics we discussed included: How certain religious beliefs themselves can be traumatic, apart from abusive, authoritarian leaders Differing effects of indoctrination in these beliefs early in life vs. later My guest’s own traumatic religious experiences Anxiety related to the belief in hell and “eternal conscious torment” The question of why some people have trauma reactions to these beliefs and other don’t Possible effects of the family or church environment in which diabolical beliefs were taught The similarities between some depictions of God and abusive partners A wrathful god as a possible vengeful projection of believers Seeing through persistent gut-level beliefs from harmful religious doctrines The practices Mark offers for healing from religious trauma The opportunity cost of not learning about a loving divine presence People who don’t want anything to do with even a benevolent deity The doctrine of universalism, that “love wins in the end” Different ways of understanding hell within the Christian tradition What my guest believes about God now

My guest this week is Thomas Sterner, whose latest book is It’s Just a Thought (affiliate link). As you know, your thoughts aren’t always helpful or true. In this conversation Tom and I talked about how to change your relationship with thoughts, which I think about a lot as CBT therapist. Just knowing that we’re thinking is a huge part of what’s helpful, but awareness alone is usually not enough. We need specific ways to practice new thinking. Tom shares some really interesting techniques for developing more helpful thought patterns.

  My guest this week is Dr. John Astin, author of the excellent book, This Extraordinary Moment (affiliate link). John has a really mind-blowing way of seeing all of reality, as you’ll hear in this great conversation. We talked about familiar concepts from meditation and mindfulness—for example, awareness of reality and finding equanimity—but John expands the frame in a way that’s truly liberating. He shows again and again how the reality we usually take for granted is way more stunning than we can even imagine. The upshot of seeing with new eyes is that our happiness is no longer tied to the ups and downs of whatever is happening. I know you’ll take a lot from the wisdom and insights John shares.

My guest this week is Colin Campbell. He wrote an amazing book called Finding the Words: Working Through Profound Loss with Hope and Purpose (affiliate link), about his experience of incredible grief and loss. I really enjoyed talking with Colin—frank, down-to-earth, compassionate. I know you'll get a lot out of this conversation.

My guest this week is Dr. Mitch Greene. Mitch is a sport psychologist and this is his third time on the podcast. This time we talked about his great new book, which I enjoyed reading, called Courage Over Confidence: Managing Mind Chatter and Winning the Mental Game (affiliate link). This is a great conversation for any competitive athlete, at any level—from doing weekend 5Ks to Olympic competition.

My guest this week is Dr. Brie Turns-Coe, an associate professor of marriage and family therapy and author of the excellent new book, Parent the Child You Have, Not the Child You Were (affiliate link).

My guest this week is Dr. Jonah Paquette, author of Happily Even After (affiliate link), who is back for the fourth time on the podcast. Jonah is the happiness guru I turn to for exploring the science of well-being and flourishing. This time we focused on how to cultivate happiness more consistently in our lives—and why we tend to wait till we're seriously unhappy before using the practices that build positive emotions. As always it was a great discussion.

My guest this week is Dr. Willa Blythe Baker, author of an excellent book called The Wakeful Body (affiliate link). Willa and I had a great conversation about how the body draws us into connection with ourselves and with this moment. She had recently arrived in Hawaii, and you can hear the sounds of birds singing in the background!

My guest this week is Acharya Shunya, author of the recent book, Roar Like a Goddess: Every Woman’s Guide to Becoming Unapologetically Powerful, Prosperous, and Peaceful (affiliate link). We had a great conversation about the divine feminine, finding your authentic voice, and living wholeheartedly and without apology.

Growing up with a highly critical parent can have long-lasting effects. In this week's episode I discuss 16 signs that you were raised with a lot of criticism. Toward the end of the episode I offer reason to hope, because these tendencies aren’t written in stone. With attention and practice you can learn new patterns. With that in mind, I describe a simple 3-step practice to learn a new way of relating to yourself. This exercise is adapted from my latest book, Mindful Cognitive Behavioral Therapy. 

My guest this week is Amanda Gilbert, a meditation teacher, speaker, and author of a book called Kindness Now: A 28-Day Guide to Living with Authenticity, Intention, and Compassion (affiliate link). This was Amanda’s second time on the podcast and it was great to catch up with her. This time we focused our discussion around how to develop a consistent meditation practice. If you’ve felt drawn to meditation but have struggled to do it regularly, this conversation is for you.

My guest this week is Dr. Joel Minden, a regular on the Think Act Be podcast. This time we focused on taking things less personally, whether we’re assuming people are upset with us when they’re not, or we’re blaming ourselves when things don’t work out, or anything else. We also talked about thinking errors, or cognitive distortions, that lead us to take things too personally. Toward the end we explored why we don’t have to see our own faults and limitations as personal failings. I think you’ll take a lot from this conversation.

My guest this week is Dr. Jonah Paquette, back for his third time on the podcast. As always it was great to speak with Jonah. This time we focused on his new book, Happily Even After (affiliate link), and especially on how gratitude contributes to happiness. I don’t know about you but I often feel like gratitude is an obligation—something that we’re supposed to do. So Jonah and I explored how to practice gratitude that’s freely given. I think you’ll take a lot from this discussion.

My guest this week is Dr. Carla Naumburg, whose new book is called You Are Not a Sh*tty Parent (affiliate link). We talked about how rare it is for parents to practice self-compassion, which can be a transformative experience. We also explored the difficulty with finding room for self-care, and how to make peace with the chaos that is parenting.

Stress is unavoidable, but we don’t have to be overwhelmed by it. In this week’s episode I offer three simple techniques for managing stress and finding true rest. These tools come from Mindful Cognitive Behavioral Therapy: A Simple Path to Healing, Hope, and Peace (affiliate link). I hope you find them useful!

My guest this week is Dr. Ilyse Dobrow DiMarco. She’s a clinical psychologist and author of Mom Brain: Proven Strategies to Fight the Anxiety, Guilt, and Overwhelming Emotions of Motherhood—And Relax Into Your New Self (affiliate link). Ilyse specializes in helping parents, moms in particular, navigate the challenge and adventure of parenting. I love how she adapts the tools of cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT) for parents. Ilyse obviously gets parenting from the inside, and offers recommendations that you can use in your own life. As always she shares super relatable wisdom in this episode.

My guest this week is Dr. Yael Schonbrun, a clinical psychologist with an excellent new book entitled Work, Parent, Thrive: 12 Science-Backed Strategies to Ditch Guilt, Manage Overwhelm, and Grow Connection (When Everything Feels Like Too Much). This episode is part 2 in a 4-part series on parenting. As you’ll hear in our discussion, Yael has a gift for both/and thinking. She acknowledges the conflict between our roles as parents and people who work for pay, and also underscores the ways that these roles can be mutually enriching.

My guest this week is Dr. Rebecca Schrag Hershberg, author of the excellent book for parents, The Tantrum Survival Guide (affiliate link). Rebecca shared some of her top tips for being a more effective parent, which starts with the simple recognition that we all struggle at times in our relationships with our kids. One of the biggest takeaways is about being present with our kids and finding ways to pause when emotions are high so that we can make better choices. (Which sounds a lot like what we try to help our kids with as parents!)

This week I’m flying solo on the podcast. It’s great to be back with you and I have a few updates since the last episode. I’ll also tell you more about my new book, Mindful Cognitive Behavioral Therapy, which will be released on Dec. 6, 2022, and I read a passage from the first chapter. In the rest of the episode I share with you some of the most effective ways to manage constant and uncontrollable worry.

My guest this week is Dr. Rachel Turow, author of the forthcoming book, The Self-Talk Workout: Six Science-Backed Strategies to Dissolve Self-Criticism and Transform the Voice in Your Head (affiliate link). In this final part of our series on managing stress, we explored how the way we talk to ourselves is closely tied to our stress levels. Rachel shared some powerful exercises for practicing self-kindness, including a guided exercise you can take part in. Toward the end she described ways to combine techniques to get the most out of them. 

My guest this week is Rebecca Ward, author of the book The Paper Tiger Syndrome: How to Liberate Yourself from the Illusion of Fear (affiliate link). Rebecca has a lot of expertise in effective stress management, and we explored the somatic-based approach she uses to help people regulate their body in order to manage stress. We also discussed the vagus nerve, which plays a central role in how we deal with stress, and it's of special interest to me based on some of my own health challenges. Toward the end of the conversation we talked about ways to develop more adaptive survival strategies for dealing with life's many challenges.

My guest this week is Dr. Alice Boyes, back on the podcast for the third time for our series on managing stress. I wanted to talk with Alice because she has a phenomenal new book called Stress-Free Productivity (affiliate link), and she shares lots of great advice for how to get things done without stressing yourself out. We also talked about how trauma can affect our stress reactions, and how to be more self-compassionate toward ourselves when we’re struggling. Alice is a good friend and a real expert in her field, so I’m happy to share her latest thinking with you.

My guest this week for Part 1 in our series on managing stress is clinical psychologist Dr. Melissa Hunt. We discussed her work on treating irritable bowel syndrome (IBS), which is common, poorly understood, and rarely treated effectively. As Melissa described so well, unmanaged IBS can be incredibly distressing and debilitating. Fortunately there is effective treatment, including a protocol that Melissa developed based in cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT). She does a great job describing the big principles that this approach is based on, and why it’s so helpful. As we explored, stress is intimately connected to IBS, and finding more effective ways to deal with stress—including the stress of IBS itself—is an integral part of evidence-based treatment.

My guest this week is clinical psychologist Dr. Daisy Singla. We talked about the exciting research that Daisy is doing, both in North America and throughout the world. I think what I love most about her work is that she’s finding truly innovative ways to address the global mental health care crisis. There are just too many of us in need of help to be able to meet these needs with the current model of long, expensive therapy with a highly trained specialist. Much of our conversation focused on interventions for perinatal depression, but the techniques that work in this context are helpful in general. I think you'll find a lot of value in this discussion.

My guest this week for part three of this series on depression is Dr. Willem Kuyken. He knows all about depression, both from his personal experience since early in life as well as from his extensive research. In this episode you’ll hear about mindfulness for depression, which Willem explains so clearly, and why it’s so helpful. The benefits of being mindful extend not just to managing depression but to all of life, including helping us to deal with life’s pain and disappointments that all of us will experience at times. Toward the end he shares one of his favorite mindfulness practices, which I really loved. I got so much out of this conversation, and I think you will, too.

My guest this week is therapist and author Dr. Carissa Gustafson, who wrote an excellent book called Reclaim Your Life: Acceptance and Commitment Therapy in 7 Weeks (affiliate link). We focused on using ACT to treat depression, since this is the second installment of our series on effective ways to manage depression. As you’ll hear, ACT is a form of cognitive behavioral therapy or CBT, but it has a really different emphasis, especially in how we deal with the negative thoughts that are so common and distressing in depression. Instead of working to change the thoughts themselves, we focus on changing our relationship with our thoughts, as Carissa explains. We also talk about how we can move through low energy and low motivation and do what’s important to us when our mood is so low, and how sometimes we need to let our hearts break so they can open. I know you’ll take a lot from this episode.

This is the first part of a four-part series on depression, and my first guest in the series is Dr. Steven Hollon. As you’ll hear, Steve is extremely knowledgeable about the current state of depression research, and he shares some mind-blowing findings that go against some of the core assumptions about depression, like that it’s caused by low serotonin. We also talk about how well medication and cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT) work to treat depression, and why therapy is so much better at preventing the return of depression once treatment ends. Steve clearly knows his science, and he also understands depression from the inside. He had a series of episodes of depression in his twenties, though thankfully he’s been depression free since he started treating patients with cognitive therapy. I hope you enjoy our conversation.

My guest this week is Dr. Joel Minden. He’s back for our series finale in this 4-part series on effective ways to manage anxiety. This time we applied his 3-step program from his book Show Your Anxiety Who’s Boss (affiliate link) to managing fear and anxiety in OCD, panic, and worry, including examples from my own life in these areas. As I try to make clear in our discussion, many people experience more severe versions of what I describe, and there’s no quick and easy fix for overwhelming anxiety. At the same time, the same types of techniques tend to be really helpful, regardless of severity. Joel and I also talked about what it’s like to deal with anxiety as someone who specializes in treating anxiety, which I found super helpful. 

My guest this week is Dr. Joel Minden. He’s back for the third part of our four-part series on effective ways to manage anxiety, based on his book, Show Your Anxiety Who’s Boss (affiliate link). So if you’re dealing with a lot of anxiety, and are even feeling overwhelmed by anxiety, you’ll find a lot of guidance in this discussion for how you can find relief. We even talk some about how we can use humor to diffuse anxiety, and how Joel does that in his own life. As always I had a great talk with my friend and fellow cognitive behavioral psychologist.

My guest this week is Dr. Joel Minden. He’s back for part 2 of our 4-part series on finding peace when we’re overwhelmed by anxiety. We’re talking again about the approach he describes in his excellent book, Show Your Anxiety Who’s Boss. This time we focus on effective ways to face our fears to move through anxiety and conquer the anxious avoidance that can really shrink our lives. As always, Joel offers super helpful insights for conquering your anxiety. I’m especially a fan of his “do it anyway” mantra that we talk about in the second half. If you enjoy this conversation, be sure to check out the other three episodes in this series.

My guest this week is Dr. Joel Minden, back for his fourth time on the podcast and the first of a four-part series on anxiety. All the techniques we discuss are drawn from Joel’s fantastic book, Show Your Anxiety Who’s Boss (affiliate link). In this conversation we focus on effective ways to deal with anxious thoughts. As you’ll hear, Joel has some really helpful ways to get out of the anxious mental ruts we often find ourselves in. If you enjoy this conversation, be sure to check out the other three episodes in this series.

My guest this week is Nick Davies, a professional coach with twenty years of experience in the corporate world. Nick and I spoke before on the podcast, back in 2020. This time we focused on the importance of awareness and goals if we want to make real changes in our life. Toward the end, Nick shared some really great insights about how to find the right path if you’re not sure how to get started.

My guest this week is Shane Claiborne, a sought-after speaker, beloved activist, and best-selling author. I had such a meaningful time talking with Shane and hearing his passion for connecting with other people and seeing through the false divisions that alienate us from each other, and really caring deeply for the most vulnerable among us. This conversation is for you if you’re a Christian, or you used to be, or you love someone who’s a Christian, or you hate Christianity, and especially if you’ve ever wondered if there’s more to being a Christian than just saying you believe certain things. I found myself crying during parts of our conversation, because I just find Shane’s words and actions so refreshing and life-affirming.

My guest this week is Janine Kwoh, who has a new book called Welcome to the Grief Club. As you’ll hear, Janine has her own experience with heartbreaking grief that became the basis for this book. This conversation is for you if you’re dealing with your own loss of someone you loved, or if you want to learn more effective ways to help someone you love who’s hurting. I know there’s so much fear around saying the wrong thing, which can get in the way of really showing up for someone. Janine and I talk about how the most important thing you can do might be to let go of the idea that it’s up to you to make it better. When we release that unrealistic expectation, we can be much more present for the other person. I know you’ll get a lot out of this discussion.

My guest this week (for the second time) is Caroline Wright. Caroline has written a phenomenal book called Soup Club (affiliate link), and we talk in this episode about how food is so much more than calories and nutrients. It also feeds our spirits, and that may be especially true for soup. You’ll hear in our discussion how Caroline came up with the idea of an actual soup club, and why the recipes in her book are so successful, which I can vouch for personally. I think you’ll really enjoy our conversation.

My guest this week is psychiatrist Dr. Jennifer Reid. We focused on how to fix insomnia, which Jenna and I both treat in our clinical practices. I’ve also been through years of poor sleep due to my health struggles, so I know firsthand what a drag it is when you just want to sleep but aren’t able to. Jenna and I discussed the best ways to get good sleep, and the downsides of many of the common sleep medications. The great news is that most people get a lot of benefit pretty quickly from a sleep treatment called Cognitive Behavioral Therapy for Insomnia (CBT-I), which we discuss at length. I hope you get a lot out of this discussion, and that it helps you to start sleeping better if you’re dealing with insomnia.

My guest this week is Dr. Stephen Schueller, who’s been working in the field of digital interventions for the past fifteen years. I’ve been really interested in this area because of my own work with a mental health app called Bloom, so I was excited to talk with Stephen about his experience and perspective. One of the coolest things from our conversation was thinking about how to really get the most out of digital interventions—not just trying to recreate the standard therapy experience through a phone, but taking advantage of the unique possibilities that come with the digital world, like being able to find help no matter where we are, exactly when we need it.

My guest this week is empath and author Signe Myers Hovem, who recently wrote The Space in Between: An Empath’s Field Guide (affiliate link). I was familiar with what it meant to be an empath before this conversation, but Signe does a lot to explain what the experience is actually like. Interestingly there are many people who don’t realize that they have empathic sensitivities, as well as people who think they’re empaths but really haven’t developed those abilities. We also discussed how to distinguish empathic intuition from other things like projection, anxiety, or bias. Toward the end of our conversation I was blown away by Signe’s response when I asked her if she thought Jesus was an empath.

My guest this week is Gary Pilarchik, author of the excellent new book The Modern Homestead Garden (affiliate link). Gary hosts The Rusted Garden channel on YouTube which guides viewers through all the steps in growing your own food. I love Gary’s no-nonsense, low-stress approach to gardening, and wasn’t surprised to learn that he had a background as a mental health therapist. His understanding of human psychology really comes across in his gardening videos, and in our discussion. I know you’ll get a lot out of it.

My guest this week is Dr. Ilia Delio. We had a great conversation based around her fascinating new book, The Hours of the Universe: Reflections on God, Science, and the Human Journey (affiliate link). Ilia has such an interesting background as both a scientist and a theologian, and she’s integrating these disciplines in ways that can breathe new life into issues of both science and faith. As you’ll hear, this is much deeper than trying to “reconcile” science and religion. I loved this discussion and I know you’ll get a lot out of it.

My guest this week is Dr. Alice Boyes, author of the forthcoming book Stress-Free Productivity (affiliate link; available March 2022). Alice was a guest on the podcast all the way back in episode 11, and as always she shares some great ways to improve your life. Alice has a powerful way of bringing together things that we might think of as opposites—especially self-care and productivity. She shares a lot of the practices that she finds most helpful herself, and she also explains why self-compassion is so important for motivation and self-improvement.

My guest this week is Jennifer Shannon, author of the new book, The Monkey Mind Workout for Perfectionism (affiliate link). Jennifer and I explored what perfectionism is, which may be different from what you think. It includes all the ways we rigidly hold ourselves to unrealistic standards. Jennifer offers many simple and effective ways to let go of perfectionism, which you’ll hear about in this episode. When we’re able to let go of our perfectionistic impulses, we can experience less stress and anxiety, which is the natural result of treating ourselves more kindly.

My guest this week is Pamela Seelig, author of the recent book Threads of Yoga: Themes, Reflections, & Meditations to Weave into Your Practice (affiliate link). Pam and I talked a lot about the healing and stress relief we can find through yoga, and also about the deeper spiritual elements that are available through the practice. I appreciated thinking with her about the intersections between yoga and religion, especially the Christianity I grew up in. We also discussed why savasana, or the corpse pose we usually do at the end of a yoga session, is the most important pose.

My guest this week is Shelly Tygielski, author of the recent book, Sit Down to Rise Up: How Radical Self-Care Can Change the World. Shelly is doing some really remarkable things, though she insists that anyone can do the things she does if we’re just willing to show up as ourselves and take some risks. What she’s doing is even more remarkable when you hear about the illness that she’s had to deal with for the past twenty years or so. But then again, our struggles often make us who we are, and lead us to places we hadn’t imagined, as Shelly as I discuss. I also enjoyed talking with her about how mindfulness and cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT) can work together.

My guest this week is Dr. Kristin Kobes Du Mez, author of a recent book called Jesus and John Wayne: How White Evangelicals Corrupted a Faith and Fractured a Nation. We explored the definition of an “evangelical,” which apparently I was for the first half of my life (without realizing it), and themes of a patriarchal, male-centered, even toxic masculinity that pervades many evangelical circles. We also considered how it is that evangelical Christianity became so wrapped up in notions of patriotism, military strength, and other things that don’t necessarily come from the life and message of Jesus Christ. Even if a person comes to reject the teachings from their evangelical upbringing, it can be a real challenge to let go of the attitudes and assumptions that have been instilled in us from a young age, as I know from personal experience. Kristin and I shared openly about our understanding of Christ, and the sadness that I certainly feel from the realization that we so often miss the central message of the Gospel—like somehow we just lost our way. And there’s a lot to grieve when we realize how much we squander when we pattern our identity as religious followers after the worldly way of doing things, and how it doesn’t seem to lead to something transcendent, like it could.

My guest this week is Amanda Gilbert, author of the recent book, Kindness Now: A 28-Day Guide to Living with Authenticity, Intention, and Compassion. As Amanda and I discussed, we could all do with a little more kindness right now—for ourselves, for others, for the world. She introduces the traditional Buddhist heart practices known as the brahma-viharas: loving-kindness, compassion, appreciative joy, and equanimity. The practices she offers will help you to be more resilient in the face of common stressors and triggers in everyday life, including anxiety, feelings of depression, imposter syndrome, and social media comparison effects—and can inspire you to make meditation an essential part of your daily life and self-care practice.

My guest this week is Kristen Manieri, author of the new book Better Daily Mindfulness Habits: Simple Changes with Lifelong Impact. This was a really interesting conversation that went some directions I hadn’t expected—especially on the topic of mindfulness—that I found really clarifying. One intriguing question we considered together: Should it be relaxing to practice mindfulness and meditation? As Kristen described, it’s not necessarily a comfortable or safe process to fully wake up, and yet it’s the only way to be fully alive. We also explored the importance of connecting with ourselves and our bodies, and how we can use physical symptoms as signals for things we need to attend to.

My guest this week is Dr. Ilyse Dobrow DiMarco. She’s a clinical psychologist and she has a new book called Mom Brain: Proven Strategies to Fight the Anxiety, Guilt, and Overwhelming Emotions of Motherhood—And Relax Into Your New Self. We talked about what mom brain actually is—which is very different from the pop culture ideas about it. She also shares about how to deal with the resentment that many moms feel about all the invisible work they do for the family, and how to manage the common thought processes that contribute to mothers’ stress and anxiety. Ilyse does a lot to validate moms, which is especially important in a society that too often shames mothers for somehow not measuring up to unrealistic standards. Toward the end of our conversation I asked Ilyse how long mom brain lasts, and it turns out it’s probably a lot longer than we might think. If you’re a mother, I think you’ll get a lot out of this discussion, and please share it with other moms you know.

My guest this week is clinical psychologist Dr. Karen Saporito. Karen has a particular interest and specialty in diagnosing and treating kids and adults with attention deficit hyperactivity disorder, or ADHD, and autism spectrum disorder. We focused in this conversation on ADHD. I know from my own clinical work that this is a really important topic that doesn’t get enough attention. There are so many people who are struggling to finish assignments in school, or organize their home lives, or meet the deadlines and demands of work, or get places on time, and they don’t realize that they might have undiagnosed ADHD. And sadly the person who’s struggling can assume that it’s their fault, and that they’re just lazy or incapable, when in fact it’s just the way their brain works. Karen does an excellent job explaining why the diagnosis is often missed, especially among girls and women, and the signs and symptoms to look for.

My guest this week is Dr. Carmen McLean, who specializes in treatment for posttraumatic stress disorder or PTSD. She recently co-authored a book called Retraining the Brain: Applied Neuroscience in Exposure Therapy for PTSD. It was great to get Carmen’s take on how effective treatment works and how we can support the body and brain’s natural ability to heal following a trauma. I shared some about my own experience recovering from a traumatic assault, and we explored how powerful it can be to face our trauma-related fears and memories systematically, as we do in cognitive behavioral therapy. Toward the end of our discussion we also talked about a free app that can help with recovery from trauma, which I provide a link to in the show notes.

My guest this week is Dr. Kathryn Gordon. Katie’s a clinical psychologist and she recently wrote The Suicidal Thoughts Workbook, so our discussion centered around suicide. This is a painful topic that touches so many of us, and it leaves such a hole in our lives when we lose someone to suicide. A friend of mine took his own life a few years ago, and I still think about it nearly every day, and wonder what was going on in his mind and in his heart that led him to that place of desperation. I’ve also had my own battles with wanting to end my life, when I was in the depths of a chronic illness and depression and started to believe it’d be better for everyone if I just went away. As you’ll hear in our discussion, I really appreciate how Katie approaches the issue of suicide. It’s a scary thing when we know someone is thinking about ending their life, and it’s easy to go into crisis-management mode, and really lose sight of the person in front of us. Katie’s focus is on staying really close to the person, and inviting them to tell her more—really sending the message that there’s nothing defective about us when we’re feeling suicidal, and this is exactly the response that’s missing so often in discussions of suicide. I think the mental health world by and large has made the mistake of emphasizing safety over humanity when suicide is in the room. I’ve heard this from many of my patients and in response to blog posts I’ve written about suicide—that nobody wants to bring it up because they’re afraid they’re going to be treated as a risk to be managed, and that they’re going to be locked up against their will, instead of being treated as a person in pain who needs more connection in that moment. Now, of course safety is important, and we want to do everything we can to help ourselves or our loved one or our patient to stay alive. But we might need to remind ourselves not to lose sight of the bigger picture, that someone who’s suicidal doesn’t want to live because they’re in pain. So it’s not just a question of “what can we do to keep you alive?” We have to ask how we can help someone to move through the pain and find the connection that makes life worth living. And that’s exactly what Katie’s book is all about, so I’m really pleased to share this conversation with you.

My guest this week is Regina Louise, author of a new book called Permission Granted: Kick-Ass Strategies to Bootstrap Your Way to Unconditional Self-Love. I know I’ve often tended to seek permission from other people to do the things I want to do. The first time I had a book contract, for example, I felt like colleagues and past supervisors were looking over my shoulder, and like I had to clear everything I wanted to say with them in my head before I wrote it. But obviously that’s not a great place to write from, and we end up really limiting ourselves when we look to others for permission that isn’t theirs to give. So as you’ll hear Regina describe, we can liberate ourselves from the false stories we carry about what we’re allowed to do and who gets to decide who we are and what we’re capable of. I think you’ll find her message very uplifting and inspiring.

My guest this week is Dr. Regine Galanti, a clinical psychologist and author of the recent book, When Harley Has Anxiety. (As you’ll hear in this episode, I somehow thought the name was “Harlan” instead of “Harley,” but we got that straightened out.) If you’re a parent of an anxious child, or you’re wondering if your child might need to see a therapist, or even if you’re dealing with anxiety yourself, there’s a lot to take from this discussion. A central message in Regine’s work is that difficult emotions aren’t dangerous—and that bravery is a decision. So a lot of what CBT for anxiety is about is finding techniques that give us more leverage to act bravely. And when we do, we’ll find that difficult emotions either go away, or we get better at tolerating them. So this is a really key lesson to learn at any age. I’ll look forward to your feedback on this episode.

My guest this week is Dr. Judith Ruskay Rabinor, a psychologist who recently wrote a memoir about making peace with her mother. We talked primarily about the mother-daughter relationship, but these are issues that are relevant for all parents, and for both daughters and sons. Judy has a wealth of knowledge and experience that she shares in this episode, including specific techniques for healing our relationships. And she’s confident that it’s never too late to make peace with our mothers.

My guest this week is Dr. Jessica Bodie, a clinical psychologist who specializes in cognitive behavioral therapy. We talked mostly about a topic that sadly is all too familiar for so many people, and that’s childhood sexual abuse. Jessica and I both treat adults who have lived through this form of trauma, and are still dealing with the after effects decades later. So this is a painful topic, and also such an important one. We talked about the shame and self-blame that sexual abuse survivors often feel, and why it’s easy to be self-critical even though it clearly wasn’t their fault. We also talked about effective treatment, and how and why it works. And even though we can’t go back and change the past, we can come to a new understanding of what that childhood pain meant, and those trauma memories no longer have to haunt us. So this is a very hopeful discussion, and I hope you take a lot from it.

My guest this week is Dr. Katherine Dahlsgaard, a clinical psychologist and specialist in treating kids and teens. We focused in this episode on extremely picky eating in kids, also known as avoidant/restrictive food intake disorder (ARFID). This was a fascinating topic for me and one I wasn’t that familiar with. But Katherine is extremely knowledgeable and does a great job describing the principles of treating ARFID, so I know you’ll find a lot of interest here.

My guest this week is Dr. Jill Bolte Taylor, author of the new book, Whole Brain Living: The Anatomy of Choice and the Four Characters That Drive Our Life (affiliate link). Jill has quite a story to tell, which you may have heard the beginning of in her bestselling book, My Stroke of Insight. In this conversation she describes how she recovered from a massive stroke, and is now able to share the powerful lessons she learned about the brain, human nature, and ultimately love.

My guest this week is clinical psychologist Dr. Jeffrey Bernstein, bestselling author of The Anxiety, Depression, & Anger Toolbox for Teens (affiliate link). Jeff specializes in treating kids and teens. In this episode we talk about how the pandemic has affected young people, and the warning signs parents can look for that could indicate their child is having a mental health crisis. We also explored how to talk with our children about their mental health, and how Jeff’s powerful blend of mindfulness, cognitive behavioral therapy, and positive psychology can equip kids and teens with the skills they need to navigate any challenge. I think you’ll find a lot in this episode that’s really useful.

My guest this week is clinical psychologist and author Dr. Mitch Abblett. We focused our discussion on Mitch’s recent book called Prizeworthy: How to Meaningfully Connect, Build Character, and Unlock the Potential of Every Child (affiliate link). In this episode you’ll find out exactly what prizing is, what it feels like to be prized, and why it's the cornerstone of everything Mitch does as a therapist and a parent. Mitch also offers many helpful tools for handling the challenges that we all face as parents, or as anyone who wants to bring out the best in young people.

My guest this week is Dr. Daniel Kinderlehrer. Dan is a physician and author of the recent book, Recovery From Lyme Disease: The Integrative Medicine Guide to Diagnosing and Treating Tick-Borne Illness. This was a great discussion about a topic that’s important for a lot of people. Dan is extremely knowledgeable and has a great deal of experience treating Lyme Disease. Some of his experience is personal, as you’ll hear him describe, since he recovered from Lyme himself. We discuss many of the psychiatric syndromes that Lyme can trigger, including extreme depression and anxiety.

My guest this week is Martin Lee, the primary author of the recent book The Essential Guide to CBD (affiliate link), which offers a solid introduction to the many possible benefits of CBD. Martin and I explored how it is that a single substance can have such wide-ranging effects, and got into specific conditions like anxiety, depression, and sleep. If you're new to CBD, or interested to learn more about the science behind its effects, I think you'll find a lot of good information here.

My guest this week is Shelley Buck, co-author of the recent book Leave Your Light On about her son, Ryder Buck. (Shelley’s co-authors include Kathy Curtis and Ryder.) This is a conversation about love, parenting, holding on, letting go, finding faith, and what happens when we die, among other things. I think you’ll get a lot out of our discussion.

​I had a great conversation in this episode with Dr. Jonathan Schaefer. Jon is a clinical psychologist and an expert in psychiatric epidemiology, which addresses questions about how common psychiatric diagnoses are. As you’ll hear, it’s far more common to experience a mental health issue than was previously thought. The main takeaway seems to be not that mental illness is becoming more common, although that’s part of the issue, but that previous methods of measurement had probably undercounted, for reasons that Jon explains very nicely. I was certainly blown away by the most recent statistics.

My guest this week is Dr. Patricia Zurita Ona, a clinical psychologist who specializes in treating obsessive-compulsive disorder. We discussed her new workbook entitled Living Beyond OCD Using Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (affiliate link), and what ACT adds to traditional CBT for OCD. We covered some really interesting territory about changing thoughts vs. making peace with them. We also discussed the latest research in how we overcome our fears, as well as increasing our ability to tolerate discomfort.

My guest this week is paramedic and podcast host Eoin Walker. I really loved this conversation. Eoin has an incredible amount of wisdom to share from both his professional and his personal experience, especially around managing stress and taking care of ourselves. We talked about ways to care for our bodies, minds, and spirits, especially through times of high stress, like many of us are experiencing now. I got so much from this discussion, and I think you will, too.

My guest this week is Dr. Richard Shane, developer of the Sleep Easy Method for getting better sleep. If you or someone you care about struggles with sleeping soundly, this conversation is for you. Richard and I talked about why many of the common approaches to treating sleep aren’t very helpful, and exactly why his approach works. You can follow along as he guides you through an easy way to start sleeping better tonight.

My guests this week are Pat and Tammy McLeod. They shared about their family’s experience of loss and healing, which they describe in their book Hit Hard: One Family's Journey of Letting Go of What Was—and Learning to Live Well with What Is (affiliate link). You’ll hear them describe in this episode the traumatic brain injury that nearly killed their son when he was sixteen years old, and dramatically changed his life, and his family’s. We discussed the pain of ambiguous loss: when we have a loved one on one level, but don’t have them on another. And we talked about where Pat and Tammy find hope and comfort. I know you’ll take a lot from this discussion, as they describe the many challenges they’ve been through, and the strength they found to meet every one.

I’m very pleased this week to have Dr. Scott Barry Kaufman back on the podcast. Scott was my guest about a year ago, and a lot has happened since then. We talked in this episode about the profound changes that Scott has experienced during that time, and the fact that a mindful awakening isn’t simply a blissful experience. Opening our eyes and being fully present can also be painful. And Scott has some good insights there. We also touched on racism and anti-racism, Scott’s forays into TikTok, and an exciting announcement that he makes toward the end of our discussion.

My guests this week are Aaron and Jocelyn Freeman, who specialize in helping busy couples communicate better with each other. We talked about their recent book, The Argument Hangover (affiliate link), including what an argument hangover is and how we can avoid them, or at least move through them more quickly. Other topics we explored included how to deal with our partner’s triggers, and our own, as well as the growth that often comes out of difficult conversations.

My guests this week are Dr. David Yusko and Dara Lovitz. We talked about the book they wrote together called Gag Reflections (affiliate link), which describes Dara’s history of emetophobia—an intense fear of vomit—and her treatment with David. We discussed things like the difference between ordinary fear or dislike of something, and an actual phobia; why avoidance is the real problem, even though it’s so understandable that we want to avoid the things we fear; how to do exposure therapy effectively; and lots more. If you suffer from a fear of vomit, this conversation can give you a lot of hope. And whether or not you deal with emetophobia, there’s a lot to take from this discussion.

My guest this week is Bunmi Laditan, author of a new book called Dear God: Honest Prayers to a God Who Listens. I really loved talking with Bunmi. She has a sincerity and an authenticity that are impossible to miss. We explored her moments of darkness and doubt, the difficulty we might have in relating to the concept of “God” as a male figure, whether God appreciates our irreverence, and the nature of divine love, among other topics. I don’t think Bunmi would mind my saying that she has a childlike exuberance when she talks about God’s love, which she clearly wants everyone to know. We also discussed her suicide attempt, and the near-death experience that followed. I think you’ll get a lot out of this conversation.

My guest this week is Dr. Michael Stephen. He’s the author of a new book called Breath Taking: The Power, Fragility, and Future of Our Extraordinary Lungs (affiliate link). Michael and I talked about some really important ideas related to the lungs, including life itself, of course, and COVID, mind-body breathwork, the communal nature of our atmosphere, the extraordinary human feats our lungs make possible, and a lot more.

My guests this week are Dr. Ted Brodkin and Ashley Pallathra, authors of the recent book Missing Each Other (affiliate link), which is about finding social attunement. I really enjoyed this discussion, where we explored the benefits of greater connection during our interactions with others, and how we can cultivate that connection.

My guest this week is my brother, Malachi Gillihan. He’s currently doing graduate work in east-west psychology, studying the intersection of trauma and spirituality. So we talked a lot about that connection (which builds on my conversation with Jonah Paquette in last week’s episode). We also got into issues like Steve Porges’s polyvagal theory, the harsh self-judgments we often make after trauma, and what it means to say yes to all of life. It hope you find our discussion to be helpful.

I’m very pleased this week to have Dr. Jonah Paquette back on the podcast for a second time. Jonah is the author of an excellent book called Awestruck (affiliate link), which we talked a lot about in our first conversation. This time we focused on a couple of main topics. The first was trauma, and especially posttraumatic growth. We explored the question of whether there is any contradiction between the pain and confusion of trauma, and the possibility that we can grow from our most difficult experiences—and even become more fully ourselves. We then turned to the issue of liberal orthodoxy and the cancel culture, and ways we might have more open and productive dialogues. There’s a lot of interesting nuance to discuss there.

I have two important and enjoyable conversations to share with you this week. Both are about finding greater unity and harmony in our political conversations, even when we hold very different views. Tim Payton and Douglass Teschner are both to the right of me on the political spectrum, but we share a lot of similar values, and a deep concern about the corrosive division in our country. I really appreciate the perspective that each of my guests brings. The biggest overarching theme in this episode is listening to understand.

My guest this week is Dr. Joel Minden, who’s been on the podcast twice before (check out episode 21 and epidose 87). I always enjoy talking with Joel, who has such a wealth of knowledge about treating anxiety and depression. We thought together again about the most effective way to approach these conditions, especially the question of how much we try to change our emotions versus making peace with them, and focusing on doing what’s important to us. As always, Joel does a really nice job at striking a compassionate balance between understanding the difficulty in doing things that are important to us when we're struggling, while also encouraging us not to make emotions the enemy or let them define what we can and can't do. I’ll look forward to your thoughts about this conversation.

My guest this week is Dr. Jason Ong, who specializes in the treatment of sleep disorders. I’ve wanted to have Jason on the podcast for a while now because he’s done some really pioneering work in applying mindfulness to the treatment of insomnia. If you struggle with getting sound sleep sometimes, which so many of us do, Jason has a lot to say about the most effective ways to get better sleep.

My guest this week is my friend and fellow psychologist Dr. Mitch Greene, who was on the podcast way back on episode 28. I love talking with Mitch, and this conversation was no exception. We focused on the mental health challenges we’re facing related to COVID and the shutdowns, including for the many athletes that Mitch works with in his sport psychology practice. I’m guessing you’ll find a lot you can relate to in this discussion.

My guest this week is Mark Gregory Karris. We discussed his recent book, Religious Refugees, which describes the process so many of us will go through of losing our faith, and needing to reconstruct it in a new way. Mark is intimately familiar with this process having gone through it himself, and he guides other religious refugees as they wrestle with issues of faith. Mark and I had a lot of overlap in our backgrounds, having left fundamentalist Christian denominations, and also a shared history of speaking in tongues which we talked about. We also talked a lot about the love of God, which is sadly missing in so many people’s religious experience, and how to shift our unhelpful beliefs.

I have a different kind of discussion for you this week. My guests are my brother, Timothy Gillihan, and my mom, Carolyn Gillihan. I invited them on to talk about their political differences, which came up recently in the aftermath of the 2020 presidential election. I want to do what I can to promote civil dialogue, and this conversation is one step in that direction. For full disclosure in where I stand, I’m registered as an Independent and I voted for Joe Biden and Kamala Harris, though I’m a neutral third party in this discussion.

My guest this week is Blake D. Bauer, author of the bestselling book, You Were Not Born to Suffer. I was really struck as I read this book by how similar many of Blake’s ideas are to the way that I see human nature. His main focus is on loving ourselves deeply, and what that means in practical terms. We also explored how denying our needs can lead to physical and emotional distress, and why we need to give ourselves permission to be well and happy. I hope you take a lot from our discussion.

My guest this week is Jared Byas, author of the new book, Love Matters More: How Fighting to Be Right Keeps Us From Loving Like Jesus. This was a great conversation, as Jared and I found a many points of connection. The book focuses on matters of faith, but the principles apply to anything we can have strong beliefs and opinions about, including of course, politics. We talked specifically about how we might emphasize love in our discussions with those who hold different political beliefs, and also the relevance of these ideas in our closest relationships. I love to imagine how we could change, and how we could change our world, by putting love first in every interaction. I hope you take a lot from our discussion.

My guest this week is Dr. Scott Kellogg, a therapist in private practice in New York. He’s the author of a book called Transformational Chairwork, and we focused on what chairwork is and why it can be so powerful. It was a great discussion about how we’re all made of different parts, and we can give voice to all of these facets of ourselves in a way that promotes integration and growth. One thing I hadn’t expected in this discussion was the demonstration I did with Scott, where he led me through an experiential exercise in therapeutic chairwork. It was a timely topic—we focused on some of the feelings I was having about the 2020 presidential election. I’m guessing a lot of people will be able to relate to some of the thoughts and fears and emotions that came up. I’ll look forward to hearing what you think.

My guest this week is Anita Friday, creator of an organization called Open Hearts: A Path for Racial Healing. Anita and I talked about her experiences as a Black woman and mother, and the things that those of us who are White can take for granted. We also explored the distinction between racism and related concepts, how to make a difference right where we live, and the love and faith that motivate Anita’s work. I also wanted to let you know that you’ll hear the N-word in this episode. It’s a sober discussion, and also a very hopeful one.

I’ve got a very special guest for you this week. Professor Peter Enns, author of books that include The Sin of Certainty and How the Bible Actually Works (affiliate links), joins me for a discussion about the Bible, Christianity, love, trust, and the evolving nature of faith. I grew up with a very fundamentalist understanding of the Bible, and can relate to so many of the things that Pete writes and talks about, including the fear of getting our facts wrong and offending God. As Pete points out, that’s a pretty limiting view of God—that God can’t tolerate our honest efforts to interpret the Bible as best we can in light of our experience. Our discussion  focuses on Christianity, but I think many of the issues apply across different religious traditions. I look forward to hearing your reactions. 

My guest this week is Alison McKleroy, a psychotherapist who just wrote a book called Essential Strategies for Social Anxiety: Practical Techniques to Face Your Fears, Overcome Self-Doubt, and Thrive (affiliate link). This is episode 109 and I believe my first focusing specifically on social anxiety, so this is long overdue. Alison had a lot to share about the essentials of evidence-based cognitive behavioral therapy for social anxiety, including many of the big ideas from her book. Toward the end we got into a really important topic of how to overcome social anxiety even when people are actually critical toward us. Most of us, myself included, deal with some degree of social anxiety, so I’m guessing you’ll find a lot of these ideas really helpful.

My guest this week is none other than the creator of Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (or ACT), Dr. Steve Hayes. I was excited for the opportunity to talk with Steve, and he certainly did not disappoint. We got into some really fascinating territory together, starting with the crucial importance of psychological flexibility. From there we ranged into comparisons of ACT and traditional cognitive behavioral therapy, and some of the potential pitfalls of a cognitive approach. Many of the ideas we talked about are described in his most recent book, A Liberated Mind, which is excellent. Toward the end of our discussion we explored Steve’s take on religion and spirituality, and how ACT fits with these deeply human areas. The beauty of ACT principles, as Steve says so clearly, is how widely they apply, really to all areas of human activity. So whether you’re dealing with overwhelming anxiety or panic, or your mind is constantly feeding you self-hating thoughts, or you want to live a fuller and richer life with less strain, I think there’s a lot you’ll find useful in this conversation.

My guest this week is psychologist Dr. Benjamin Hardy. Ben recently wrote an excellent book called Personality Isn’t Permanent: Break Free From Self-Limiting Beliefs and Rewrite Your Story. This conversation is all about overcoming self-imposed limitations so your past doesn’t have to define your future. I find Ben’s message very uplifting, with his focus on the choice that each of us has in determining our path and our identity, and the freedom we can find as we decide who our future self will be. I really enjoyed talking with Ben and getting to know him. I expect you'll get a lot from our discussion.

My guest this week is fellow clinical psychologist and CBT therapist Dr. Paul Greene. We talked about our experiences with mindfulness, both in our own lives and in our clinical practice. We also explored the effectiveness of CBT for treating trauma and posttraumatic stress disorder (PTSD), and our thoughts on combining these treatment programs with some of the body-focused treatments (like those I discussed in a recent episode with Ilene Smith). Paul and I also got into some of the personal benefit we find in meditation practices, and the kinds of practices we tend to be drawn to.

My guest this week is psychologist Dr. Jonah Paquette. We focused on his new book, Awestruck: How Embracing Wonder Can Make You Happier, Healthier, and More Connected. Jonah and I explored what awe is and what causes it, and how we can cultivate more experiences of awe in our everyday lives, even in situations that seem anything but awe-inspiring. These experiences have everything to do with attention, and with waking up to what it means to have what we call an “ordinary life.”

My guest this week is Dr. Joseph Luciani, author of a book called Unlearning Anxiety & Depression: The 4-Step Self-Coaching Program to Reclaim Your Life. Joe and I explored some of his background in more depth-oriented psychology, especially a Jungian approach where we explore symbols and dreams and archetypes, and his transition to a more action-oriented style. We got into some pretty interesting territory, especially about the spiritual implications of psychotherapy. As Joe said, if we truly learn that we can handle whatever life throws at us, everything changes. That's good news, of course, because you can handle any challenge, just like you have already to make it this far.

My guest this week is clinical health psychologist Dr. Mark Weisberg. We talked about his specialty in clinical hypnosis, and how it can make treatment more effective. I’m sure you’ve heard of hypnosis, but the way Mark uses it might be different from the images that come to mind when we hear the word. We talked about using it to help treat stress, anxiety, irritable bowel syndrome, and other conditions. 

My guests this week are Devon Hase and Craig Hase, authors of the new book, How Not to Be a Hot Mess. These two have a way of making the principles of mindfulness and Buddhism relevant and easy to understand. As you’ll hear, we discussed many points of intersection in how they and I think about mindfulness, and the need for additional practices besides simply being present and open. We talked a lot about “waking up from the dream” to more fully inhabit our lives, what Buddhism has to say about our sex lives, and the importance of bringing ritual into our lives. I think you’ll find a lot here that’s useful.

My guest this week is Ilene Smith, author of the recent book, Moving Beyond Trauma: The Roadmap to Healing from Your Past and Living with Ease and Vitality (affiliate link). If you’ve been through a trauma—and most of us have—then this is a conversation for you. Ilene shared her expertise on how we can use the body to help us heal from traumatic events. If you’ve read anything by Peter Levine or maybe Bessel van der Kolk’s book The Body Keeps the Score (affiliate link), you’ll recognize a lot of what we talk about. One thing I really appreciated exploring with Ilene was how CBT and body-focused trauma treatment can fit together. Ilene also shared about her own trauma experience, and how her background in the techniques she describes helped her to recover. You’ll definitely want to hear about that.

My guest this week is Bridgit Dengel Gaspard, therapist and author of the forthcoming book, The Final Eighth (affiliate link). We discussed something that I’m guessing all of us can relate to at some point in our lives: Why is it that we often make a lot of progress toward our goals, and then we stall out in the home stretch? Maybe it's buying a house, starting a business, starting a family, writing that book—whatever it is, we might even get seven-eighths of the way there. And then we hit a wall. The insights Bridgit offers might surprise you. To me they were new ways of looking at things, especially at our multiple inner selves and the various roles they play as we move toward our biggest goals. I think you’ll also find our discussion on our Inner Critic helpful, including a demonstration Bridgit gave, with me as her willing subject.

My guest this week is Dr. Michael Lovell, president of Marquette University. Michael is deeply committed to trauma-informed care in the city of Milwaukee (where Marquette is located), and to addressing the persistent racial disparities in our society. He’s been outspoken about his own history of childhood trauma, and is using the pain of his past in his efforts to serve others. That’s something I see so often in my clinical work—that our own struggles can be transformed into a way to help those who are suffering. I’ve certainly found that in my own life, too. Sometimes we might think, “I can’t help others, because I have so much pain myself.” But it’s for exactly that reason that we’re prepared to make a difference in someone else’s life. The pain we experience seems to carve a deeper well in us, and gives us more we can draw from and offer to others.

My guest this week is Sarah McCafferty. As you’ll hear, Sarah is passionate about issues of justice and equality. We focused on issues of race, in light of the developments in our society in recent weeks. I don’t know about you but I was really reluctant to talk about race, because I was afraid I would say the wrong things, as I mentioned on a recent episode. Sarah has some really helpful things to say about moving through that fear, and why joining the conversation is so important—and no less so for White people. If you can relate to the fear that keeps us silent, I hope you find this discussion helpful. As we hear others taking a risk and speaking up, it might get easier to do the same ourselves. I was grateful to be talking in this episode with someone who’s comfortable around issues of race, racism, and the ongoing legacy of slavery and inequality in the US. I also appreciated how frankly Sarah spoke about love—the kind of love that moves us through fear, to something better on the other side.

My guest this week is Worthy Stokes, author of The Daily Meditation Book of Healing: 365 Reflections for Positivity, Peace, and Prosperity. I got so much out of this discussion with Worthy. She had a near-death experience a few years ago that opened her eyes to the full reality of who she is. A lot of what I love about her perspective is that she fully values all parts of our experience—our bodies, our minds, our spirits, our souls—the full range of what it means to be a human. We talked about allowing ourselves to be deeply human. We explored ways to manage anxiety. And we thought a lot together about what it means to heal. Does it mean that we have to regain complete physical functioning? Or is there a kind of full healing available even when we continue to struggle with symptoms? Toward the end of our conversation, she offered a simple but powerful listening exercise.

My guest this week is Ashley James. We had planned to focus on anxiety in this episode, which we did spend a good bit of time talking about. But we also talked a lot about general health and nutrition, and the important role of diet in our physical and mental health. This is a topic that’s gotten a lot more attention in recent years. For some reason it was quite controversial for a long time to suggest that what we put in our mouths could affect our minds and spirits, and could contribute to conditions like anxiety and depression. But now that the research studies are being done, we’re starting to realize how important diet can be—not just for our physical health, but for our overall well-being. We also talked a lot about the body’s stress response and the release of cortisol through the HPA axis, and of adrenaline through our sympathetic nervous system (our body’s fight-or-flight stress system). And in the second half of our discussion, Ashley offers a simple technique that can lower anxiety and turn down the stress response.

My guest this week is Robert Dilenschneider, author of the recent book Decisions: Practical Advice from 23 Men and Women Who Changed the World (affiliate link). Bob had some really important things to say about this moment we find ourselves in, with the many problems we’re facing. A global pandemic, economic turmoil, and now the pain and upheaval following the deaths of George Floyd and other Black men and women in the US at the hands of the police. These events have compelled all of us to take a closer look at the inequality and racism we may have taken for granted. So what Bob says here is really important. He asserts that each of us needs to take responsibility for the good and the bad in society. And we need to take personal responsibility for addressing societal problems. I hope you get a lot out of this episode.

My guest this week is business and career coach Nick Davies. As you’ll hear, Nick is from England, though he’s currently living in the States. I really enjoyed talking with Nick, not only because he’s easy to listen to, but because he speaks very clearly about principles that we find in cognitive behavioral therapy. He and I talked about things like how to develop better habits, learning to recognize the stories we tell ourselves, and the importance of a compelling Why for our goals. I’m sure you’ll find a lot of value in this conversation.

My guest this week is psychiatrist Dr. Adam Meadows, author of the recent book, A Prescription for Living with Purpose: Maintaining Hope, Healing, & Connection as You Create the Life You Were Destined to Live (affiliate link). It was great to catch up with Adam and hear his passion for changing lives, including his own. I’ve known Adam for about 10 years, and I've enjoyed seeing the direction he’s pursued since leaving Penn, where we met. In this episode we talked about faith, trust, the importance of daily habits, and how to tell the divine voice of intuition from the voice of self or ego. I hope you get a lot out of this discussion.

My guest this week is Kevin Hancock, author of the recent book, The Seventh Power: One CEO’s Journey into the Business of Shared Leadership (affiliate link). I loved this conversation with Kevin. There were so many profound points that emerged as we explored what it means to find our voice, and to be heard. This topic is close to my heart for several reasons, including my own history of vocal difficulties and throat surgery. As you’ll hear, Kevin has dealt with a rare neurological condition that affects his voice, and now he completely embraces and owns his unique voice as he encourages others to embrace their own voice. I know you’ll get a lot out of this discussion.

My guest this week is author and content creator Lorraine Ladish. We talked about the value of mind-body work, Lorraine’s favorite self-care activities, the importance of daily practices in caring for our minds and bodies, and spirituality as letting go of the illusion of control, among other topics. Lorraine has been through a lot in her lifetime, and she describes where she has found strength and grace along the way.

My guest this week is Darren Gold, author of the new book Master Your Code: The Art, Wisdom, and Science of Leading an Extraordinary Life (affiliate link). Darren offers many powerful ideas that I know you’re going to find useful, like how to set yourself up for success, and learning how to rewrite your unconscious programs. As you’ll hear, Darren really speaks my language, because the things he’s describing are in line with solid cognitive and behavioral principles. There’s a lot here that you can take and start to use right away in your own life.

My guest this week is cook and author Caroline Wright. At the age of 32, Caroline was diagnosed with a brain tumor and given one year to live. Three years later she’s beaten the odds, and is full of enthusiasm and hope and vitality. We discussed her very moving children’s book Lasting Love (affiliate link), which is a love letter to her children and also to any family dealing with the loss of a loved one. To be honest, this was not the conversation I was expecting. I thought we’d talk a lot about the pain and sadness of saying good-bye, but instead we talked about things like the profound lifestyle changes Caroline has made since her diagnosis, her ongoing work as a cookbook author, learning to live with fear, and finding what makes you happy regardless of circumstance.

My guest this week is Dr. Christopher Kerr. Chris is a hospice physician and author of the recent book, Death Is But a Dream: Finding Hope and Meaning at Life's End (affiliate link). This was an important topic, but I hadn’t realized the implications for the current situation we find ourselves in with the coronavirus pandemic. One of the things that’s so many of us are deeply troubled by is that people are dying now without being able to have their loved ones by their side. Chris and I talked about how Covid-19 is changing the process of dying. As tragic as these changes are, he also explained that no one really dies alone, which I found deeply comforting as I imagined the final days and hours of those dying in hospitals.

My guest this week is Dr. Joel Minden, a psychologist who specializes in the treatment of anxiety. We focused on the ideas from his excellent new book, Show Your Anxiety Who's Boss (affiliate link). Joel's emphasis is on finding effective long-term strategies that can change our relationship with anxiety in a big way, rather than on trying to find tricks to use in the moment to just get through spells of high anxiety. He stresses the importance of letting our values decide what’s important and how we live our lives, rather than letting anxiety play that role. Joel’s research-tested approach has a lot to offer at any time, and definitely in the current COVID-19 crisis.

My guest this week in Dr. David Richo, who was on the podcast before back in 2018 when we talked about mindfulness in relationships. This time we were focusing on his new book, Triggers: How to Stop Reacting and Start Healing (affiliate link). It’s a great guide for how to use your emotional reactions when you’re triggered as the starting point for identifying and resolving the underlying issues. One of the things I love most about Dave’s approach is how he doesn’t pretend there’s some trick or technique that’s going to take away your difficult emotions or make life a breeze. He’s honest about the challenges all of us will face, and how accepting those challenges is the path toward becoming a full-fledged adult. I especially want to draw your attention in this episode to Dave’s encouragement to make a commitment to working on yourself when you’re triggered, rather than blaming others or assuming the problem is with them. I’m thinking about this a lot more in my own closest relationships since Dave and I spoke, especially in my marriage, and trying to remember to be curious about my reaction instead of focusing on my feeling of hurt or injustice. As Dave and I discuss, there’s true freedom to be found in that approach, and it lets us let go of so much unnecessary tension in our relationships.

My guest this week is Dr. Rob Leeman, who specializes in research on alcohol use among adults. Rob has been a good friend of mine for the past two decades, since we met in graduate school in 2001. He’s a real expert on alcohol and addiction, and he shared from his wealth of knowledge in this discussion. There are a lot of important takeaways here—things like the effects of alcohol on anxiety and sleep, the relation between trauma and alcohol use, effective treatments for reducing alcohol consumption, and the best ways to minimize our kids’ risk for having problems with alcohol.

My guest this week is psychologist Dr. Scott Barry Kaufman, author of the brand new book, Transcend: The New Science of Self-Actualization (affiliate link). We spent a good bit of time thinking together about how the ideas from his terrific book apply to ongoing coronavirus crisis and the social distancing that’s affecting our lives in so many ways. (One effect is that our family members are home all the time, so you may hear some kid sounds during the episode.) Scott and I also talked about the intimate relationship between the sacred and the commonplace, and how self-actualization is not the least bit selfish. We touched on posttraumatic growth, the value in embracing our reality as fully as possible, and why therapists like me struggle with challenges just like everyone else does. I really like talking with Scott and am so glad to have gotten to know him in recent months. I hope you enjoy our conversation. 

In these anxious times we need ways to come back to center, as stress and uncertainty can lead to being wound up, scattered, out of our bodies and stuck in our minds. So this week I have a simple centering practice for you, called Fourteen Breaths. This meditation actually comes from a new course I've created called Balance: Mindfulness-Centered Cognitive Behavioral Therapy for Anxiety, Stress, & Worry. This is a paid 4-week course with one lesson per week, but it's available to all regardless of financial means. Visit the show notes to learn more.

My guest this week is Linda Carroll, author of the recent book, Love Skills: The Keys to Unlocking Lasting, Wholehearted Love (affiliate link). This is an important conversation for any time, and it may be especially important now as so many of us are social distancing on the one hand but are also with our partners 24/7. This can be great, and also presents challenges, and opportunities to work together toward a stronger union. Linda and I discussed things like how our adult relationships can trigger painful experiences from childhood, and whether happy couples generally resolve all their issues (spoiler alert: they don’t, but they do figure out more effective ways to talk about them). Maybe the most important thing from this episode is the power in recognizing the stories we tell ourselves when we’re upset with our partner, and how questioning those stories puts us in a much stronger position to have a harmonious relationship. 

I have two guests for you this week—psychologists Dr. Paul Napper and Dr. Anthony Rao, authors of the recent book, The Power of Agency: The 7 Principles to Conquer Obstacles, Make Effective Decisions, and Create a Life on Your Own Terms. The three of us explored ways to reclaim greater control over our lives, from engaging more with the physical world to releasing fear and honoring our intuition. We also discussed the benefits of psychodynamic therapy, and how it can complement a cognitive behavioral approach.

My guest this week is Denise Wiesner, author of the recent book, Conceiving With Love. We discussed many issues that arise when a couple starts trying to get pregnant, especially when they have difficulty conceiving. It’s easy for passion and intimacy to go out the window when you’re trying to have a baby, and my guest offers many insights and practices to help couples stay close through the process.

My guest this week is spine specialist and neurosurgeon Dr. Jack Stern, author of the recent book, Ending Back Pain: 5 Powerful Steps to Diagnose, Understand, and Treat Your Ailing Back (affiliate link). If you or someone you love struggles with back pain at times, which unfortunately is likely to be the case, I think you’ll find this conversation really useful. I was very interested to hear from Dr. Stern about the psychological and emotional dimension of pain, and how cognitive behavioral therapy can be helpful. We also discussed the value of a multimodal approach to treating back pain, the importance of movement, and when to seek a second opinion.

My guest this week is Beth Ruggiero York, author of a memoir called Flying Alone. Beth and I talked about her passion for flying airplanes, the dangers she faced as she climbed the ranks to become a commercial airline pilot, and the challenges she moved through along the way. We also talked about the chronic illness that Beth has dealt with for several decades now. I think you’ll be able to relate to a lot of Beth’s experience, like the difficulty of leaving bad relationships, and the strength she found within herself.

I’ve got something different for you this week—a guided meditation. I’ve been busy finishing the first class in the Think Act Be online school. Today's meditation is actually taken from the course. It's a brief guided 3-part meditation, which takes about three minutes. This kind of practice can be a really effective way to let go of anxious thoughts or worries and to calm the nervous system, just by coming into contact with your actual experience. Once you’ve gotten the feel for it, you can practice it whenever you like, without the recording. I hope you find it helpful to ground into your experience.

My guest this week is Laura McKowen, author of the memoir, We Are the Luckiest: The Surprising Magic of a Sober Life. This was great discussion not just about the pervasiveness of alcohol in our culture and the challenge of leaving behind alcohol addiction, but about the urge we all have to escape in some way. As someone who gave up alcohol myself about three years ago, I can say from experience that a sober life has many advantages, even if you don't consider yourself a "problem drinker."

My guest this week is psychiatrist Dr. Stuart Eisendrath, who specializes in mindfulness-based treatment of depression. We discussed his new book, When Antidepressants Aren’t Enough: Harnessing the Power of Mindfulness to Alleviate Depression (affiliate link), in which he describes the need for more effective depression treatments. Unfortunately millions of people find that medication alone fails to provide adequate relief from depression. In this episode you'll hear Dr. Eisendrath describe the power of mindful awareness in the treatment of depression, and what led him and his team to adapt mindfulness-based cognitive therapy for the treatment of active depression.

My guest this week is Robyn Spizman, author of a recent book called Loving Out Loud: The Power of a Kind Word. We focused on ways to share more love and connection with the people in our lives. For the most it’s just a matter of paying attention for opportunities. As Robyn describes, she had some real challenges going on in her life, but she seems determined to find love and joy right in the middle of these difficulties. I often assume it’s easy for others to be joyful because they don’t have the challenges I have, but that’s probably never true. I think all of us can benefit from Robyn’s message and her positivity.

My guest this week is Kristi Hugstad, author of Beneath the Surface: A Teen’s Guide to Reaching Out When You or Your Friend Is in Crisis. Kristi was moved to write this book as part of her efforts to address the stigma of mental illness, especially among young people, after her husband died by suicide. In this episode we talked about the rising rates of depression among teens and some of the possible causes, including the role of technology and social media, and how to recognize the signs of a depression crisis in a loved one. 

My guest this week is Captain Tom Bunn, a former airline pilot who is now a psychotherapist. Tom specializes in treating panic, which he got into through helping people with a fear of flying. Now he’s written a book, Panic Free: The 10-Day Program to End Panic, Anxiety, and Claustrophobia (affiliate link), which describes a way to use human connection to stop the panic response. This was a really interesting book and a fascinating conversation. You’ll discover in this episode how oxytocin can stop panic from developing, and how to engage the parasympathetic nervous system to put the brakes on a runaway fear reaction.

My guest this week is poet and professor Dr. Ross Gay. I loved Ross’s recent book, The Book of Delights, which we talked a lot about in this episode. I think you’ll be able to hear how much I enjoyed talking with Ross and hearing his insights into joy, sorrow, loss, love—toward the end I was really moved by his description of self-love, and why it’s often so difficult. Hopefully this conversation will inspire you to look for everyday delights in your own life.

My guest this week is Aaron Walker, author of View From the Top. Aaron is a lifelong businessman, having started fourteen companies, as well as a life coach. In this episode we talk about what it means to be successful and to live a life of significance, the ultimate emptiness of money without an overarching purpose, how to move through fear, challenges, and setbacks—including some dramatic examples from Aaron’s own life—and the crucial importance of the people we surround ourselves with. 

My guests this week are author Margo Rabb and horticulturist Chris Fehlhaber. It’s the first time I've had two guests on the podcast, and my first face-to-face interview. I learned of Margo’s work through a beautifully moving piece she wrote for the New York Times called “Garden of Solace.” The garden she refers to is Chanticleer, which is about 15 minutes from where I live and one of our favorite destinations. Margo suggested we include Chris in the interview, as he plays a key role at Chanticleer and has deep insights into the nature of gardens and our relationship with them. The three of us explored topics like the healing power of gardens, sadness and grief as experiences that don’t need to be “fixed," links between my guests' respective passions of writing and gardening, and the love we find in relationships in which we can be ourselves.

My guest this week is Dr. Jill Carnahan, a physician who specializes in functional medicine. This approach focuses on identifying the root cause of illnesses, rather than just using medication to treat symptoms. Dr. Jill has not only a tremendous amount of knowledge about how our bodies and minds heal, but firsthand experience from her own serious health challenges. Much of our conversation focused on the non-medical factors that support healing, including faith, family, and mindset. We also touched on our shared experiences of mold toxicity. 

My guest this week is poet Ada Limón. We discussed several of the recurrent themes in Ada's two most recent collections of poetry: Bright Dead Things and The Carrying—grief, loss, love, joy, and the inextricable link in this life between beauty and sadness. We also explored the inherent enjoyment in being present, and effective ways of managing life's stress and uncertainty. 

My guest this week is psychologist Dr. Todd Pressman, whom I had the pleasure of getting to know after reviewing and enthusiastically endorsing his excellent book, Deconstructing Anxiety. Todd has a profound understanding of fear and its many manifestations. He offers a systematic approach for recognizing your core fear—the root that underlies all the ways fear shows up in your life. And just as important, he outlines a plan for overcoming your fear. 

My guest this week is professor and author Dr. Jonathan Haidt. We focused on Jon’s recent book, The Coddling of the American Mind: How Good Intentions and Bad Ideas Are Setting Up a Generation for Failure, co-written with Greg Lukianoff. It aims to track down the cause of two parallel trends among Generation Z:  the rise in anxiety, depression, and suicide, and the increasing sensitivity among students on college campuses to ideas they find upsetting. We discussed "the three Great Untruths," where they come from, why they're so damaging, and how universities might address the epidemic of mental health problems in students.

My guest this week is psychiatrist Dr. James Gordon, author of a book called The Transformation: Discovering Wholeness and Healing After Trauma. I can almost guarantee that Dr. Gordon will change how you think about trauma and how we recover from it. It changed my understanding of how we approach trauma treatment, even though I’ve specialized in this area for over a decade. Dr. Gordon shared his hope that all of us can recover from trauma, and offered a wide range of practices to support our healing. I think you’ll get a lot out of our discussion.

My guest this week is Dr. John Eric Baugher, author of Contemplative Caregiving. We often think of caregiving as an act of self-sacrifice, but John makes it clear that caring for others is a privilege. In this episode we talk about how he started working in hospice care on the front lines of the AIDS crisis in the early nineties. This is more than a conversation about how we die—it’s really about who we want to be and how we can connect with others as we live each moment of our lives.

My guest this week is Rajshree Patel, author of The Power of Vital Force. I can’t tell you how much I enjoyed this discussion, though I’m sure you’ll get a sense of it as you listen. We discussed the many ways we limit ourselves and disconnect from the deeper truth of who we are—from the vital force that Raj describes in her book. One of my favorite parts of the approach she shared is how simple it can be, and how in just a few moments we can completely change our experience. I think you’ll find this conversation to be both useful and inspiring.

My guest this week is Karen Newell, co-author of Living in a Mindful Universe and co-creator of Sacred Acoustics, which produces binaural beats audio recordings. Karen and I explore what binaural beats are, how they're created, and many intriguing topics in this area. These simple beats seem to have far-reaching effects on things like sleep, anxiety, and meditative states. 

My guest this week is Solan McClean, author of a book called Driving into the Now: PRND. We discussed the big idea from Solan’s book, which is that we can use driving as a mindfulness practice, and carry that practice into other parts of our lives. Solan describes how the practice of mindful driving is not only good for us as individuals and for our personal practice of mindfulness, but it also can make us safer and more considerate drivers.

My guest this week is psychiatrist Dr. Suvrat Bhargave, author of the recent book, A Moment of Insight. It was a great conversation about the deep work of psychotherapy, which can even lead to spiritual growth—for both people in the therapy relationship. We explored the challenging and exciting question of figuring out who each of us actually is; how healing can lead to growth; reliable ways to reduce anxiety; challenging the stories we tell ourselves about our lives and ourselves; and recognizing our spirit as a constant source that helps us navigate through our experiences.

My guest this week is the Rev. Lisa Schubert Nowling, an ordained minister and Lead Pastor at the First United Methodist Church in Bloomington, Indiana. In this episode we talk about the life of a pastor (interesting to me as the son of preachers), what it means to have a "calling" and how to find yours, and the nature of divine love.

My guest this week is Dr. Aria Campbell-Danesh, back for a second time (Aria was my very first podcast guest). We’re really pleased to announce the release of the book we wrote together called A Mindful Year, on September 10, 2019 (Blackstone Publishing). In this episode Aria and I explore many of the themes that came up in our year-long collaboration as we wrote back and forth to each other, such as the quality of presence we bring to each moment, how to move through the fear that holds us back, and the value of simplicity. We also share our hope that the practices in this book will prove as useful to our readers as they have to us. 

My guest this week is historian and author Dr. Rachel Chrastil, who recently wrote a book called How to Be Childless: A History and Philosophy of Life Without Children. We discussed the intersection of her professional and personal interest in this topic—Rachel herself has chosen not to have kids—and several of the myths about a life without children. Her perspective is uplifting, as she emphasizes the joy in living that is available to all, regardless of parenthood status, and the symbiosis that exists between those who do and those who don't have kids.    Check out the complete show notes here. 

My guest this week is author and change agent Laurie Warren. We discussed her forthcoming book Wild World, Joyful Heart (Oct. 8, 2019) and her approach to empowered well-being. Along the way we explored how body, mind, and spirit are interconnected, and how we can take back responsibility for our own health and well-being. Laurie emphasizes that joy (which is different from “happiness”) is always available, no matter what’s happening in our lives.

My guest this week is Dr. Raymond Moody, who brought the phenomenon of near-death experiences (NDEs) into the mainstream with his landmark 1975 book, Life After Life. In this episode we explored how the field of NDE investigation has evolved in the past four decades, and discussed some of his latest thoughts about the boundary between this world and whatever is beyond. It was a fascinating conversation about the biggest questions facing each of us. 

My guest this week is Dr. Yonder Gillihan, a professor of Theology with special expertise in the Dead Seas Scrolls. He's also my older brother, so our discussion included some of our personal history with religion and the Bible, and what it was like growing up as preacher's kids in a fundamentalist Christian home. Yonder describes how his relationship with the Bible has changed over the past four decades, and how he not only made peace with the Bible but even made friends with it.

My guest this week is Dr. Eben Alexander, a neurosurgeon who had a near-death experience (NDE) about a decade ago. You may be familiar with Eben's story from his New York Times number one bestselling book, Proof of Heaven. I found this to be a surprising and thought-provoking discussion about some rather controversial ideas—for example, that memories aren't actually stored in the brain! We discuss his most recent book, Living in a Mindful Universe, which grew from his NDE.

My guest this week is Doug Holt, who is best described as a holistic executive coach. Doug specializes in helping people move toward their most important life goals. We discussed Doug’s philosophy on life and coaching, and the intimate connection between the different parts of our lives, like who we are as people and the work we do. We explored ideas that overlap a lot with cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT), such as how we identify and change our self-limiting beliefs.

My guest this week is Lisa Smartt, whose recent book, Words at the Threshold, examines what those who are dying say as they approach the end of their life. This is a really important topic, as Lisa reveals that the dying are often communicating much more to us than we might realize. By paying attention in the ways she recommends, we can hear more of what’s being said.

This week we’re going to go all the way back to the roots of cognitive behavioral therapy—back to the ancient Greeks and Romans. My guest is philosopher Dr. William Ferraiolo, who recently wrote a book called Meditations on Self-Discipline and Failure: Stoic Exercise for Mental Fitness. The big idea of Stoicism is that we don’t have to let external events and our unruly minds determine our well-being. Instead, we can save our energy for training our thoughts and actions to serve us well. Sounds like CBT! Bill is passionate about these ideas and explains how they can make a major difference in our lives when we put them into practice—just as he discovered for himself.

Have you ever felt frustrated by money? Most of us have. Maybe you feel like you’re not paid enough, or there’s barely enough to cover your expenses, or your bills seem unmanageable. Whatever the case, my guest today can help you develop a healthier relationship with money. Ken Honda is known as the “Zen Millionaire” in Japan, and he’s written a new book called Happy Money: The Japanese Art of Making Peace with Your Money. Learn what it means to create what Ken calls a healthy flow of money.

My guest this week is Gregg Krech, a leading authority in North America on Japanese psychology. We focused on the principles of Morita therapy, which emphasizes taking action that brings meaning to one's life. This approach contrasts with our tendency to dwell on how we feel and what we feel like doing, and to get lost in self-focused attention. By asking instead, "What needs to be done?" we can build a life defined by meaning and usefulness.

My guest this week is yoga instructor Tim Senesi, host of the popular “Yoga with Tim” YouTube channel and a teacher of yoga classes near his home in Southern California. I’ve done countless of his online videos myself and haven’t found any better instruction than what Tim offers every week. In this episode, Tim offers many insights into yoga practice and philosophy. 

My guest this week is Jules Blaine Davis. Jules is helping people to reconnect—with themselves, with their needs, with what it means to nourish and be nourished, and what it means to really relate to another person. She also shared about her medical diagnosis within the past year, and the unique perspective she brings to that experience.  

I've enjoyed having a garden for many years, and recently it's taken on deeper significance in my life. So I loved this conversation with this week's guest Joe Lamp'l, the Joe behind Joe Gardener®, as we discussed the many benefits of gardening—not just the obvious ones like physical exercise and fresh produce, but the mental, emotional, and even spiritual benefits of being in your garden.

Have you ever found yourself stuck in a manipulative relationship that you know deep down is toxic, yet each time you try to leave you're pulled back in? My guest this week is Renee Linnell, who had exactly that experience during her time in a religious cult. She offers an intimate look at that period in her life in her recent book, The Burn Zone: A Memoir, which I explored with her on this week's episode.

How can we practice more presence in our lives and stay connected with our truest selves? My guest this week is Ora Nadrich, a mindfulness instructor who addresses these questions in her recent book, Live True: A Mindfulness Guide to Authenticity. We discussed her approach to mindful living, awakening to our existence, and valuing every moment. 

My guest this week is Alejandra Costello, a professional organizer with over one million YouTube subscribers. We explore the many positive effects of tidying up, from the obvious improvement in your living space to the deeper mental and emotional benefits. Alejandra also shared key principles for decluttering your home and getting organized. 

My guest this week is psychologist Dr. Polly Young-Eisendrath. We talked about the big ideas from her recent book, Love Between Equals: Relationship as a Spiritual Path. Polly presents an inspiring view of committed relationships—while she acknowledges the challenge in sharing life with another person, she also points to the possibilities that await us in truly relating to someone over time. Her ideas might change how you think about and how you experience your own relationships.

What is the surest path to success and contentment in life, and what are the mistakes to avoid along the way? My guest this week is Skip Prichard, who has thought a lot about these questions for many years. He's distilled his insights into his Wall Street Journal bestselling book, The Book of Mistakes: 9 Secrets to Creating a Successful Future. We explored some of the nine secrets and we discussed his book,  and the many benefits of avoiding these mistakes.

You're probably familiar with "near death experiences." My guest this week is Dr. Sharon Prentice, who describes a related journey called a "shared death experience." This was a new concept for me, as I'm sure it will be for a lot of listeners. It made for a really fascinating discussion as we explored the ways it changed Sharon's understanding of God and what it means to die, and to live. 

Psychologist and author Dr. Ross Greene encourages parents to let go of unhelpful parent-imposed solutions when kids aren't meeting our expectations, such as rewards and punishment. His approach focuses instead on solving problems collaboratively with our children, using a straightforward three-step method. 

My guest this week is therapist and OCD specialist Jon Hershfield. Jon is doing an incredible amount of work to improve the lives of those who struggle with obsessive-compulsive disorder through his therapy practice, writing, and public talks. In this episode we discussed his excellent new book, Overcoming Harm OCD: Mindfulness and CBT Tools for Coping with Unwanted Violent Thoughts.

Do you ever feel like you and someone else just aren't hearing each other? My guest this week is Oren Jay Sofer, who is passionate about helping people to improve their relationships through his mindful approach to nonviolent communication. Discover how true presence can help us to listen and express ourselves more effectively. 

My guest this week is my brother Charlie Gillihan, who will graduate from medical school soon. We explored the slow evolution of medical training in the US, what it takes to become a doctor, the high rates of burnout and suicide among physicians, and what to look for in a great primary care doctor. 

My guest this week is highly acclaimed poet Mary Jo Salter, whom Dan Chiasson described as “one of America’s most accomplished formalists” in the New York Review of Books. In this conversation we explored the drive to create poetry and its unique effect on our psyches. 

My guest this week is Jonni Pollard, who specializes in teaching the art of embodying our true nature to live the most meaningful life possible. In this episode we explored his inspiring vision of our deepest nature, our true purpose, and our capacity for fulfillment.   

Dr. James Kelley and I discuss the sometimes surprising effects of adversity, or what James calls the "crucible's gift." Life's challenges may offer the opportunity to grow in strength and compassion, ultimately allowing us to become the person we were meant to be. 

My guest this week is psychologist Dr. Mark Powers, who specializes in research on anxiety and PTSD. Mark and I discuss the latest research on treatments for trauma, including EMDR, cognitive behavioral therapy, yoga, and exercise, as well as the general principles of effective therapy.

Most new parents will wish at some point that their baby were sleeping more soundly. Thankfully there are proven techniques for helping young children to sleep through the night. My guest this week is psychologist and pediatric sleep specialist Dr. Jodi Mindell, who has done a tremendous amount of work to bring compassionate, science-based sleep guidance to parents who need it.

We usually think of healing as something that comes from the outside—from doctors, medications, supplements, the right diet.... According to integrative psychiatrist Dr. Omid Naim, however, healing comes from within. In this episode Dr. Naim describes an holistic approach that not only integrates many healing traditions like medicine, yoga, and talk therapy, but that seeks to integrate mind, body, and spirit.

The rates of conditions like anxiety and depression continue to rise, despite extremely high rates of psychiatric medication use. This week I spoke with Dr. Julia Rucklidge, a pioneer in the field of nutrition and mental health, about the role of micronutrients like vitamins and minerals in treating and preventing common psychological problems. 

Anyone who's played competitive sports knows that the mental game is at least as important as the physical one. My guest this week is clinical and sport psychologist Dr. Mitch Greene, who specializes in helping athletes manage doubts, cultivate courage, improve performance, and reach their goals.

Many people are looking for ways to gain a mental edge. My guest this week is psychologist Dr. Martha Farah; as a brain scientist and pioneer in the field of neuroethics, Martha has thought a lot about ways to enhance our cognitive ability. She shares her insights on the effectiveness of stimulant medications, drugs for Alzheimer's, and direct stimulation of the brain to make healthy brains function even better. We also explore natural ways to enhance our mental abilities. 

My guest this week is Nora Whittaker Jones, a Speech Language Pathologist who is intimately acquainted with the human voice. Nora and I discussed common vocal problems like muscle tension dysphonia and the stress they can cause, especially among professionals like teachers who depend on their voice every day. Nora shared her perspective on how to care for one's voice, and how to find help when necessary. 

My guest this week is Dr. Bryce Carter, who has a fascinating background as both a highly trained practitioner and instructor of martial arts and a practicing clinical psychologist. We explored the intersection of these two disciplines, including how training in the martial arts can improve our confidence, resilience, emotional equilibrium, and relationships.

Financial trading is challenging work, requiring a high degree of focus, discipline, and analytical ability. In this week's episode I spoke with psychologist Dr. Brett Steenbarger, who specializes in the psychology of trading. Brett describes the habits of thought and action—many of them drawn from cognitive behavioral principles—that help traders perform at consistently high levels.

Millions of people are affected by obsessive-compulsive disorder, or OCD—not just those who have the condition, but their family and other loved ones. My guest this week is psychologist Dr. Belinda Seiger, who specializes in evidence-based treatment of OCD. She describes how OCD affects families, and how effective treatment can improve relationships.

Ever wonder what's the right way to live your life? Author August Turak contends that deep down, you already know. In this week's episode we explore the message of his recent book, Brother John: A Monk, a Pilgrim, and the Purpose of Life. August shares his insights on how to move through the fear that prevents us from finding self-transcendence. 

Anxiety can be extremely debilitating when it dominates a person's life. My guest this week is Dr. Joel Minden, who specializes in the treatment of all kinds of anxiety and related conditions, from panic and generalized anxiety to social phobia, PTSD, and OCD. Hear from Joel how three powerful approaches can help to loosen the grip of overwhelming emotion. 

Recent research has revealed startlingly high rates of obesity among the men and women who have served our country in the military. In this week's episode, I speak with Palo Alto VA psychologist Dr. Jessica Breland about her latest research on obesity, disordered eating, and military sexual trauma among US veterans—and how she's using social media to spread the word about her findings. 

Countless people struggle to see themselves in a positive light, and women face specific challenges to their self-esteem. In this week's episode I talk with licensed professional counselor Megan MacCutcheon about her Self-Esteem Workbook for Women, including what healthy self-esteem looks like, how it's different from narcissism, and how anyone can take steps toward greater self-love. 

Major depression is a common condition that can severely limit a person's life. In this week's episode clinical psychologist Dr. Jay Fournier discusses his efforts to better understand the many varieties of depression by studying the brain and behavior—with the goal of maximizing treatment effectiveness.

All of us at some point will experience the pain of loss and the grief that follows. In this week's episode, author and illustrator Brian Lies discusses his new book, The Rough Patch, which beautifully captures the complex feelings and behaviors that follow a devastating loss—and the hope that is possible. 

Gaslighting is a sinister form of emotional abuse in which a person is made to doubt their own reality. In this episode I speak with Dr. Stephanie Sarkis, a therapist, author, and authority on gaslighting. We explore the ins and outs of this pattern of behavior, including how to recognize it, avoid it, and break free from it.

There are countless forms of psychotherapy available—how is a person to choose among them? In this week's episode I speak with psychiatrist Dr. Richard Summers, who specializes in psychodynamic psychotherapy. We explore the strengths and limitations of this approach, its relationship to other popular forms of therapy (especially CBT), and how it has evolved since the time of Sigmund Freud.

Many of us have a complicated relationship with food that takes away from our enjoyment of it, particularly when we're prone to emotional overeating. In this episode Arlene B. Englander shares her expertise on what leads to emotional overeating, how mindful presence can help us break the habit, and the importance of filling our lives with good things. 

What's the best way to treat major depressive disorder? Psychologist Rob DeRubeis has been asking this question through more than three decades of research, and has arrived at some surprising answers. In this episode we explore the pros and cons of treating depression with medication or psychotherapy, and some of the possible downsides of combining therapy and meds.  

How can we move toward more loving relationships with others, and a friendlier stance toward ourselves? Dr. David Richo discusses the practices of mindfulness that help us to love with our whole hearts. 

In this week's episode, Dr. Alice Boyes discusses her proven strategies from The Healthy Mind Toolkit for breaking out of self-sabotaging behaviors. We explore antidotes to perfectionism, the power of creating efficient systems for managing your tasks, and the ability of small changes to produce surprisingly big improvements in our lives. 

Sleep-related problems like insomnia are very common among adults, and yet little is understood about the basic mechanisms that govern sleep. Psychiatrist and sleep expert Dr. Matt Kayser is pushing the frontier of research on the brain processes that promote and disrupt sleep, and how effective insomnia treatments work. 

Psychiatrist Ben Hunter shares his insights about the science of attachment, which is the habitual way each of us relates to others. Are we secure? Anxious? Avoidant? The answer will color our closest connections, and understanding attachment styles can help us in all our relationships. 

The voice is our primary way of expressing ourselves, and finding our voice—literally and metaphorically—can have a profound impact on our well-being and relationships. Professional operal singer and yoga therapist Mark Moliterno describes the principles and experience that gave rise to YogaVoice®, a unique integration of yoga principles and practices with Systematic Voice Technique. 

Sleep and insomnia specialist Dr. Michael Perlis discusses the prevalence of insomnia, why it happens, and how to prevent a short bout of insomnia from becoming chronic. He addresses the ideal amount of time to spend in bed and the role of medication in treating insomnia. 

Psychologist Rachel Hershenberg, author of Activating Happiness, shares her knowledge about a simple and powerful cognitive behavioral treatment for depression. It focuses on small changes we can make in how we spend our time, which can lead to big improvements in how we feel.

In this episode Dr. Jason Hunt shares his insights about psychological treatments that work for anxiety, insomnia, and other conditions; the imperative of self-care; the all-too-common imposter syndrome; and how to maintain high productivity while living a life of balance.  

I talk with Dr. Raymond Pasi, who recently retired after serving as high principal for 29 years. We talked about the changes in education that he witnessed during his career, the imperative of social and emotional learning, how teachers and administrators can create great schools, and how parents can contribute to their child's education.

In this episode of the Think Act Be Podcast I talk with researcher and clinical psychologist Lucy Faulconbridge. Dr. Faulconbridge specializes in weight loss and eating disorders, as well as anxiety and depression. 

In this first episode of the Think Act Be Podcast I talk with psychologist Aria Campbell-Danesh, an expert in fitness, behavior change, and sustained weight loss.