We’re taking the week off, so here’s the full, previously-unreleased conversation we had when Kate interviewed Billy for Making Magic in September of last year! We touched on the Magic Wand’s role in queer sex, trans sex, porn, kink, and our lives as a whole. First Memories | Current Relationship to the Wand | Aesthetics | Porn | Conducting Vibrations | Dysphoria | Trans Sex | Queer Sex | “Best” Vibrator? | Tech Considerations | Kink | Safewords | Roleplay | Casual Hitachi’ing | Surgery Recovery Credits:Music by PROTODOMEArtwork by Addison FinchBecome a patron to support the show and get access to our private Discord, monthly bonus episodes, and your name mentioned on the show.  

This week, we dig deeper into the fear of rejection, sharing some ways we cope with this fear in our own lives and discussing how cultural and hormonal factors can influence it. Asking for Reassurance | Self-Soothing | What’s “Too Much”? | Incels | What Does Sex “Mean”? | Hormones | Confidence & Self-Awareness | Vote for Making Magic! Credits:Music by PROTODOMEArtwork by Addison FinchBecome a patron to support the show and get access to our private Discord, monthly bonus episodes, and your name mentioned on the show.  

Halloween is coming up, so we decided to talk about fear… of rejection! Fear Fluctuations | Self-Soothing | Vulnerability Points | Pandemic Changes | Building Resiliency | What Are We Afraid Of? | Scarcity Mindset | “Hey, Fuck You!” | Rejecting vs. Rejected | “Beggars Can’t Be Choosers” | Guilt vs. Shame | Non-Monogamy | Rejection-Sensitive Dysphoria | Vote for Making Magic! Credits:Music by PROTODOMEArtwork by Addison FinchBecome a patron to support the show and get access to our private Discord, monthly bonus episodes, and your name mentioned on the show.  

Sadists get a bad rap sometimes, so this week we’re discussing some of the things we love about them. Stigma | Consent | Emotional Complexity | Intimacy & Vulnerability | Fantasy vs. Desire | Empathy & Understanding | Trust & Holding Space | Communication Tools | Joy Over Normalcy | Comedy vs. Psychodrama Credits:Music by PROTODOMEArtwork by Addison FinchBecome a patron to support the show and get access to our private Discord, monthly bonus episodes, and your name mentioned on the show.  

This week Billy chats with his partner, Dee Darkholme, about their shared love of cannibalism kink. Cannibalism Is Romantic | Obsession & Limerence | Butchering & Preparing | Silence of the Lambs | Primal Mauling | Vore & Tinies | Media | Cannibalism: A Perfectly Natural History Credits:Music by PROTODOMEArtwork by Addison FinchBecome a patron to support the show and get access to our private Discord, monthly bonus episodes, and your name mentioned on the show.  

Friend of the show Mx. Nillin Lore has a new book out called How Do I Sexy?: A Guide for Trans and Nonbinary Queers, so this week we spoke with them about trans sexuality, furries, body modifications, and more! How Do I Sexy? | ‘Own Voices’ Trans Art | I Saw the TV Glow | Beacons of Permission | Trans Joy | HRT | Don’t Have to Hate It to Change It | Good vs. Bad Doctors | Body Mods | Disturb the Comfortable | Furryism | Video Games Credits:Music by PROTODOMEArtwork by Addison FinchBecome a patron to support the show and get access to our private Discord, monthly bonus episodes, and your name mentioned on the show.  

This week, we discuss how we’d prepare for a first date, a threesome, a first sex/kink conference, and a new crush, in honor of National Preparedness Month. Why Prepare? | Managing Anxiety | Neurodivergence | First Dates | Conversation Topics | Sex on the First Date | Condoms & Vibrators | Threesomes | First Con | Oncoming NRE Credits:Music by PROTODOMEArtwork by Addison FinchBecome a patron to support the show and get access to our private Discord, monthly bonus episodes, and your name mentioned on the show.  

Can people-pleasers be into service kink? This week, we’re discussing our evolving relationships to providing and receiving service (sexual, domestic, and otherwise) within kink dynamics. Trauma & the Past | Explicit Instructions & Praise | Defining Service | Intentionality | Anxiety & Neurodivergence | Misdirected Service | Turn-On vs. Love Language | Purpose & Meaning | Intimacy & Being Seen | Caretaking & Attachment | Receiving Service | Self-Service | Achievement | Cleaning | Praise Without Service Credits:Music by PROTODOMEArtwork by Addison FinchBecome a patron to support the show and get access to our private Discord, monthly bonus episodes, and your name mentioned on the show.  

Can you believe we’ve done 400 episodes?! This week, we look back at some of our old “hot takes” and see whether we still agree with them. Vulnerability | Categories | Friendship | Things We Hate | New Crush Energy | LGBT | Kate’s Favorite Episodes | Dating Vanilla People | Scheduling Sex | Growth Credits:Music by PROTODOMEArtwork by Addison FinchBecome a patron to support the show and get access to our private Discord, monthly bonus episodes, and your name mentioned on the show.  

Vore is one of the most interesting and fantastical kinks out there, and this week we’re doing a deep-dive on it while continuing to discuss animated porn.Devil’s Cookie | Vore | Horror | Genital Transformation | Cis Men Writing Women | Swallowing | Cock Vore | Death By Pussy | Gender Politics | Cute Aggression | Spit | Stigma & “Weirdness” Credits:Music by PROTODOMEArtwork by Addison FinchBecome a patron to support the show and get access to our private Discord, monthly bonus episodes, and your name mentioned on the show.  

Is animated porn as hot as “the real thing”? Sometimes it’s even hotter! This week we’re discussing what animated porn can do that live-action porn can’t, and the elements we most love to see in these clips. Curating Porn | Why? | Wet Dreams | Authenticity vs. Acting | Neurodivergence | Cartoonishness | “Oopsie” Series | Campiness | Sexting with an A.I. | Stuffed | Stuffed 2 | Tentacles | Mime and Dash | Voice Actors Credits:Music by PROTODOMEArtwork by Addison FinchBecome a patron to support the show and get access to our private Discord, monthly bonus episodes, and your name mentioned on the show.  

Ghosting may not be the most mature way to end things with someone, but it does happen – so this week we’re discussing the ethics of ghosting, and offering our best advice for people on both sides of this practice. Defining “Ghosting” | Expectations of Availability | How to Not Ghost | Meta-Communication | When Is It OK? | Emotional Self-Care | Asking What’s Up | Coming Back & Apologizing Credits:Music by PROTODOMEArtwork by Addison FinchBecome a patron to support the show and get access to our private Discord, monthly bonus episodes, and your name mentioned on the show.  

Intelligence play, such as bimbofication, is an edgy-yet-intriguing kink for many people – so this week we’re discussing our own feelings about it, and about intelligence in general. Identity & Value | Perception | Ableist Language | Humiliation | Vulnerability | Smart Tops | Multiple Intelligences | Smartness vs. Hotness | Confidence | Infantilization | How to Do It | Fragrance | Music | Loose & Free Credits:Music by PROTODOMEArtwork by Addison FinchBecome a patron to support the show and get access to our private Discord, monthly bonus episodes, and your name mentioned on the show.  

This week we’re diving deeper into our discussion of kissing, covering common issues people have with making out, like finding tongues gross or not knowing what to say between kisses. Tongue | Closed-Mouth Kissing | Dirty Talk | LDRs | Setting Boundaries | Date Kate Survey Credits:Music by PROTODOMEArtwork by Addison FinchBecome a patron to support the show and get access to our private Discord, monthly bonus episodes, and your name mentioned on the show.  

Kissing is hot, and can tell you a lot about a person. This week we’re answering listener questions about making out. Evolving Opinions | Kissing vs. Sex | Kissing vs. Making Out | Duration | Sexual Chemistry/Compatibility | The Most Important Skill | Setting a Precedent | Communication & Consent | Memorable (Not-)Kisses | Intoxicants Credits:Music by PROTODOMEArtwork by Addison FinchBecome a patron to support the show and get access to our private Discord, monthly bonus episodes, and your name mentioned on the show.  

We're continuing our discussion on emotional sadomasochism this week, covering hypnosis, negotiation, mid-scene troubleshooting, and how to subvert harmful experiences into hot scenes. Intimacy & Vulnerability | Intentional Emotional Extremes | Trauma & Triggers | Negotiation & Scene-Planning | Reassurance | Transphobia & Misogyny | 24/7 Emotional S&M | Attractiveness | Hypnosis Credits:Music by PROTODOMEArtwork by Addison FinchBecome a patron to support the show and get access to our private Discord, monthly bonus episodes, and your name mentioned on the show.  

Sadomasochism isn’t just physical – many kinksters play with pain and discomfort in the emotional and psychological realms, too. This week we’re discussing the art of emotional S&M! What is Emotional S&M? | Enough to Make You Blush | Emotional vs. Psychological | Hot Ones | Hurts So Good | Grown-Up Playtime | Healing | Winning | Topping | Communication Tools | Channeling Bad Impulses | Abuse | Generating Ideas Credits:Music by PROTODOMEArtwork by Addison FinchBecome a patron to support the show and get access to our private Discord, monthly bonus episodes, and your name mentioned on the show.  

Why are first times so hot? This week we’re interrogating our feelings on first times, both real and roleplayed. What is a “First Time”? | First Times Fetish | Surprised & Overwhelmed | Special & Notable | First Date Roleplays | Finding Authenticity | Virginity Loss Roleplay | Confidence & Experience | Tops vs. Bottoms | /r/RandomActsOfMuffDive | Ethics of Sex with Virgins | Innocence vs. Corruption | Virginity | Sex with New People | How to Be a Good First Fuck Credits:Music by PROTODOMEArtwork by Addison FinchBecome a patron to support the show and get access to our private Discord, monthly bonus episodes, and your name mentioned on the show.  

We’re answering listener questions this week about rimming, condoms, masturbation, fetishes, and more! Rimming | Sick People | Textured Condoms | Lifestyles Tuxedo Condoms | One Pleasure Plus | Masturbation Shame | Our Fears | Advice We Don’t Follow Credits:Music by PROTODOMEArtwork by Addison FinchBecome a patron to support the show and get access to our private Discord, monthly bonus episodes, and your name mentioned on the show.  

This week Billy talks with his partner Dee Darkholme about some of the unusual kinks and dynamics that have emerged in their relationship. Feet | Future Relationships | Intimacy & Demisexuality | Need vs. Occasional Want | Curiosity & Non-Judgment | Feet, Again | Piss | Squirting | Testosterone | Bringing Up New Kinks Credits:Music by PROTODOMEArtwork by Addison FinchBecome a patron to support the show and get access to our private Discord, monthly bonus episodes, and your name mentioned on the show.  

This week we’re chatting with the brilliant author and podcaster Tina Horn about her new book, Why Are People Into That?: A Cultural Investigation of Kink! Fisting | Circlusion | Citing Sources | CNC | Bad Tweets | Footnotes | Connoisseurs | Glasses Fetish | Sex & the City | Bimbos | Gender Credits:Music by PROTODOMEArtwork by Addison FinchBecome a patron to support the show and get access to our private Discord, monthly bonus episodes, and your name mentioned on the show.  

Here's the first episode of Kate's podcast miniseries on the Magic Wand, Making Magic!The Magic Wand is a cult-favorite sex toy, beloved by vibrator connoisseurs around the world – but is it worthy of the hype? In this episode, we seek to answer that question, by examining the Wand’s reputation, first-time users’ reactions when they try it, and how it can help us close the orgasm gap.Guests this episode:Good Vibrations staff sexologist & Antique Vibrator Museum curator Dr. Carol Queen (she/they)Sex toy historian & author Hallie Lieberman (she/her)Sex educator & host/creator of the Sex Ed With DB podcast Danielle Bezalel (she/her)Software designer & developer (& Kate’s spouse) mb bischoff (they/them)Author, sex therapist, & psychology professor Dr. Laurie Mintz (she/her)Making Magic is hosted and created by Kate Sloan, edited and co-produced by Jamie Pityinger, and made possible by the generous support of Vibratex. Our podcast art is by Addison Finch. Credits:Music by PROTODOMEArtwork by Addison FinchBecome a patron to support the show and get access to our private Discord, monthly bonus episodes, and your name mentioned on the show.  

Kate’s about to launch a project she’s been working on for a year, a podcast miniseries about the Magic Wand called Making Magic: How the Magic Wand Became the World’s Most Famous Vibrator. This week, we talk about the series and how it all happened! Why? | Feature Story | Magic Wand Tattoo | Book vs. Podcast | Sex-Positive Feminism | Interviews | Hitachi | Interview Wishlist | Magic Wand Menorah | Art & Tattoos | Style/Format Inspiration | New Discoveries | Changes in Opinion | Other Toys | Favorite Episode | Takeaways Credits:Music by PROTODOMEArtwork by Addison FinchBecome a patron to support the show and get access to our private Discord, monthly bonus episodes, and your name mentioned on the show.  

Changes in your kinky power dynamic can be scary and destabilizing, but they can also be exciting, healing, and necessary. This week, we discuss shifts in power we’ve experienced within our own relationships, and how we navigate them. Are We Switches? | Empathy & POV | Learning to Dominate | Receiving Caretaking | Somatics & Self-Esteem | Not Having All the Answers | Switching Within Relationships | Motivations | Kinky Flirting | What Do You Want? | People-Pleasing & Boundaries | Deciding to Change | Making Changes Credits:Music by PROTODOMEArtwork by Addison FinchBecome a patron to support the show and get access to our private Discord, monthly bonus episodes, and your name mentioned on the show.  

Happy Masturbation Month! We’re celebrating by answering listener questions about jerking off. Cum Socks, Cum Box | Pruney Fingers | Jerking Off to Oneself | Perspective in Fantasy | Stroker Newbie Tips | Fleshlight Quickshot | Tenga Egg | Porn Addiction | Masturbating Before Bed | Unexpected Additions | Museum of Sex Event Credits:Music by PROTODOMEArtwork by Addison FinchBecome a patron to support the show and get access to our private Discord, monthly bonus episodes, and your name mentioned on the show.  

What do sex, kink, Michelin-star restaurants, Disney World, and Dungeons & Dragons have in common? This week we’re talking about the concept of immersiveness, and what we can learn about sex and kink from studying immersive experiences. “What is Sex Like?” | Flow State | Internal vs. External Factors | Social Anxiety | Sleep No More | Attention | Moments | Hospitality | Disney | Ambiance & Headspace | D&D Credits:Music by PROTODOMEArtwork by Addison FinchBecome a patron to support the show and get access to our private Discord, monthly bonus episodes, and your name mentioned on the show.  

What’s the most important lesson you’ve ever learned about sex, dating, or masturbating? This week we celebrate Kate’s birthday by reflecting on the most useful insights we’ve gained on these topics and many more. Credits:Music by PROTODOMEArtwork by Addison FinchBecome a patron to support the show and get access to our private Discord, monthly bonus episodes, and your name mentioned on the show.  

Traveling with a partner can be magical, or it can be stressful as hell. This week, we’re discussing the pitfalls and best practices of taking trips with someone you’re dating. Hotel Sex | Different Version of Yourself | Compatibility Test | Travel & Polyamory | How Soon? | Stress & Arguments | Time Apart | Early Trips | Overstimulation vs. Calm | Conferences & Camp Credits:Music by PROTODOMEArtwork by Addison FinchBecome a patron to support the show and get access to our private Discord, monthly bonus episodes, and your name mentioned on the show.  

What does it mean to have “high standards” or to be “too picky” in the realms of dating and sex? This week we’re talking about standards, boundaries, “leagues,” dealbreakers, and more. Male Attention | Horrors of Singledom | Self-Judgment | Gender Differences | “Leagues” | Rejection | Insecurities | Chemistry | Wanting vs. Being Wanted | Monogamy vs. Polyamory | Friend of a Friend Matchmaking | Bad Standards | What ARE “Standards”? | Attractions Changing | Good Standards | Setting Standards | Preference vs. Fetishization Credits:Music by PROTODOMEArtwork by Addison FinchBecome a patron to support the show and get access to our private Discord, monthly bonus episodes, and your name mentioned on the show.  

There are a ton of ways that size differences can be eroticized, from age play to giantess porn to vore fantasies. This week, we share our thoughts and feelings on various forms of size kink. Littleness vs. Age Play | Vore | Eating & Swallowing | Cannibalism (7:52–11:40) | Giantesses | Tinies | Toy Story | Human Size Variations | Kissing | Height Preferences | Gender | CNC | How to Emphasize Size Credits:Music by PROTODOMEArtwork by Addison FinchBecome a patron to support the show and get access to our private Discord, monthly bonus episodes, and your name mentioned on the show.  

This week we’re joined by Addison Finch, the artist who created our new logo! We talk with him about how the art came together, plus his work as a tattoo artist. Dildo Nerds | New Logo | Listened to Every Episode | Fifty Shades | Favorite Part | Separate Personas | Piercing | Tattooing | Alt Culture | Traditions vs. Colonialism | Flash Art | Kinky Tattooing Credits:Music by PROTODOMEArtwork by Addison FinchBecome a patron to support the show and get access to our private Discord, monthly bonus episodes, and your name mentioned on the show.  

Definition | Deciding to Get Married | Hierarchical vs. Non-Hierarchical | Polysecure by Jessica Fern | Escalator Without Hierarchy | Polywise by Jessica Fern | Differing Compatibilities | Friendships vs. Romance | Dean Spade Essay | Building Your Own Escalator | Professional & Creative Partnerships | Social Media | Collars | Money Credits:Music by PROTODOMEArtwork by Addison FinchBecome a patron to support the show and get access to our private Discord, monthly bonus episodes, and your name mentioned on the show.  

Is porn addiction real? Is the NoFap community just a bunch of chastity fetishists? Are men okay? This week Kate chats with Kris Taylor, an academic from New Zealand who has studied porn addiction discourse and the NoFap movement, about all of the above and more. Origin Story | Masculinity | New or Old? | NoFap Research | Homoeroticism in NoFap | Women on NoFap | Giving Pleasure | Eroticizing Self-Denial | Dust Breeding | Barriers & Tension | Sexual Fantasy | Male Pleasure | Flure App | Porn Dependency | “No Porn” Rule | Fantastical Fantasies | Vibrators | A Cyborg Manifesto | Solitary Sex | Making Sex | Female Orgasm | Queer & Trans People | Future Research Directions Credits:Music by PROTODOMEArtwork by amyBecome a patron to support the show and get access to our private Discord, monthly bonus episodes, and your name mentioned on the show.  

Humor is a big component of our sex and kink, but it’s not always appropriate during scenes. This week we talk about how and when to deploy humor to improve your flirting, domming, or subbing. Vibrators Dying | Improv Crushes | Take an Improv Class | The Excitement of Humor | Collaboration | Repetition | Tension & Release | Too Much Laughing? | Read the Room | Nothosaur Toys | Breath Play | Nerves & Anxiety | Aftercare | On the Same Page | Making a Top Laugh | Humiliation Play | Funny Kink Scenes | Commit to the Bit

Watching porn while in a relationship can be more contentious than watching it while single; this week, we theorize on why that is, and answer listener questions about watching porn with partners. Is OnlyFans Cheating? | Economics | Insecurities & Anxieties | What Porn is For | Extreme Tastes | Watching Porn During Oral | Nothosaur Toys | Sharing Passwords | Porn Stars’ Appearance | Queer Porn with Straight Partners

With Valentine’s Day having just passed, this week we tried to figure out what “romance” actually is. Consistency | Autism & Aromanticism | Love, Inc. | Romantic Attraction | Friendship | New Relationship Energy | Media Love | Nothosaur Toys | What’s Romantic To You? | Reciprocity | Examples of Romance | Surprise | Spontaneous Kisses | Thinking of You | Vulnerability | Sex Games | Remembering Preferences

What happens when a sex toy reviewer quits using vibrators? This week Kate and her spouse mb discuss her recent break from using vibes, the reasons for it, and the results of the experiment. Why? | Vibrator Habituation | Research Questions | Sensitivity | Orgasm Threshold | Orgasm Intensity | Tools | Quitting? | Slowing Down | Sex Ed | How Long It Takes | Manual Stimulation | Hand Weakness | Mental Aspect | Flure | Readjusting | Withdrawal | Polyamory Clause | Natural/Intimate | Alcohol | Internal Spots | Libido & Satisfaction | New Techniques | Mood | Big Nut

We’re answering listener questions on sex toys this week – and sharing some of our snarky takes about certain sex toy brands. Meeting People Where They’re At | Butt Plugs for Long-Term Wear | Njoy Pure Plug | Fun Factory Bootie | Lube for Silicone Anal Toys | Sliquid Silk | Sliquid Sassy | Sutil Rich | Sliquid Organics Gel | Should I Buy More Toys? | Magic Wand Rechargeable | Njoy Pure Wand | VixSkin Toys | Best Orgasms | VixSkin Outlaw | Eroscillator | Fucking Sculptures Double Trouble | Pressure-Wave Toys | Lelo Sila | Womanizer Premium 2 | Satisfyer Pro 2 | Toys for AMAB People | Lovense Edge 2 | Trans Affirming Wear | Ana Valens Article | Fun Factory Manta | Hot Octopuss Pulse | Micropenis Dildo | Uberrime Dildo Tip | Toy Cleaner | DivaWash | Songs About Sex Toys | Rachel Lark Song | “Bad Sex” Song | Lelo | Dick Tux | Owning a Sex Shop

Watersports is a wet, wild, and wonderful kink! This week, we’re discussing piss play: what we find hot about it (and what we don’t), how we’ve incorporated it into scenes, and how to do it safely and with minimal mess. Why Is It Hot? | Comparison to Scat | Taboo | Intimate | Messy | Pissing on Command | STPs | Peeing Inside Someone | Bladder Control | Not Fresh From the Tap | Piss Cocktails | Roleplays | In the Bedroom | Age Play | Hydration

Take a peek inside our brains: this week we’re recounting our favorite sexual fantasies from 2023, and setting some sex goals for the coming year. New Fantasies | Extortion/Blackmail | Alley Sex | Wet Dreams | Coworkers | Cuckolding | Quora Threads | Last Year’s Goals | Hump! Film Festival | New Goals

Ready to get incredibly nerdy about sex toys? This week we’re discussing the toys we loved most in 2023, as well as recapping the best sex we had in the past year! Standard Glass S-Curve | Magic Wand Rechargeable | Njoy Pure Wand | VixSkin Outlaw | RealCock | Tantus Uncut | Magic Wand Mini | Magic Wand Micro | Fun Factory Vim | Hole Punch Fluke | Uberrime Suavis | Lovense Toys | Miss Rose Paddles | LilFoxToyBox Lego Paddle | Twilight Meadow Creations Raido | Uberrime Fingo | Best Sex | Cage Sex | Chastity | SpareParts Deuce Harness | RodeoH Harness | Kate’s Bandcamp | Meet Billy | Vote For Us in the AVN Fan Awards!

Happy new year! This week we’re discussing some of the big changes we experienced in our sex, kink, and dating lives this past year. How Was 2023? | Sex & Kink Changes | Flure App | New Things We Tried

Happy holidays, friends! This week we’re answering listener questions about navigating sex, kink, and relationships around the holidays. Holiday Complaints | Seasonal Roleplays | Hometown Hookup | Long-Distance Relationships | Voice Memos | Pressure-y Grandparent | Polyam Sadness | Holiday Proposals | Gifts We’d Like

It can be tricky to determine your sex/kink compatibility with someone you’ve just started flirting with, so this week we’re offering advice on just that. Favorite Pokémon | Sex Journalist Mode | When & How | Flirting Style | Red Flags | Text vs. In Person | Flexibility | Sex Talk Without Sexting | Questions to Ask | Giving Head | Sex Professionals

This week Kate chats with Sage Monroe, a phone sex operator and consultant, about the ups and downs of the phone sex business. Getting Into It | Professional vs. Not | Boundaries & Limits | Self-Care | Financial Domination | Hypnokink | Adult Phone Actress | Authenticity vs. Performativity | Emotional Support | Connections with Clients | Taking Notes | Disability Accommodations | Dating Another Operator | Equipment | Multi-Tasking | Continued Popularity | Personal Sex Life | Power Dynamics | Submissive Operators | “Not Real Sex Work” | Perceptiveness | Keeping It Fresh | Consulting | Suitable Traits

Since the month is almost done, this week we’re examining the practice of No Nut November and the community around it. Unfortunate Origins | Masturbation & Porn Addiction | Intentions | The Rules | Edging | Partners’ Reactions | New Desires | Risk Factors | Funkit Chess Set | The Big Nut | Kate’s Premature Ejaculation Song

If your libido’s low right now, you’re not alone. This week we’re talking about periods of diminished sexual desire and what we like to do about them. Montreal Trip | Out of Practice | Predictable? | Come As You Are by Emily Nagoski | Responsive vs. Spontaneous Desire | Confidence & Competence | Novelty | Mating in Captivity by Esther Perel | Independence | Feeling Bad About It | Non-Monogamy | Different Drives | Meta-Communication | Accepting a Rejection | Reassuring a Partner | Reinvigorating Your Libido | Toys

Ever heard of Locktober, the month-long chastity challenge? Kate’s spouse mb recently did it (with Kate as keyholder) and in this episode, the two of them discuss the experience and give advice for potential Locktober newbies. What is Locktober? | Pandemic Popularity | NoFap & Porn Addiction | Committing To It | Benefits of Longer Lockups | Teasing | Begging | Deviceless Chastity | Finding a Keyholder | Keyholder Motivations | Physical & Psychological Effects | Sexual Touch & Orgasms | Lovense Edge, Gush, & Max | Trust | Coming Without Permission | Locktober Community | Polyamory | Power Circuits by Raven Kaldera | No Nut November | Wet Dreams | Advice for First-Timers | Kink3D Cobra Cage | Irritation & Infections | Benefits | Journaling | Distractibility | Gender | mb’s Hypnovember Tweets

Happy Halloween! This week we’re addressing some seasonal sexy inquiries, about fear play, haunted houses, Chewbacca masks, and more. Turned On By A Costume | Haunted Houses | Mask Safety | Fetish Dreams | Horny 4 Horror | Rickety Bridge Study | Slut-Shaming | Cringey Bloops

This week we’re answering listener questions on erotica and fanfiction! Pearl Necklace Bondage | Finding Kinky & Trans Authors | Heckin’ Lewd | Nerve Endings | Re-Reading | Is Fanfic Just Better? | Influences on Desire | Consent & Safer Sex | Ella Dawson Essay | Content Notes | Moaning & Dirty Talk

This week we’re discussing our current relationships to erotica and fanfiction, since Kate just had a story published in Rachel Kramer Bussel’s new erotica anthology Sexy Strangers! Erotica vs. Real Life | Erotica vs. Porn | Non-Erotic Fanfic | (Not) Getting Paid | Fix-It Fics | Finding Stories | Picking Kinks for Characters | Hypno Stories | Dirty Talk & Sexting | Flirting | Psychological Turn-Ons | Fantastical & Supernatural | Omegaverse | Pet Peeves

We’re back to talk about polyamory boundary violations some more this week. Cuckolding | Whose Responsibility Is It? | Downstairs DJ’s No Nut November Coin | Kink Rituals | Resentment | Partner Pursues Your Crushes | Fantasizing

It can be tough to recover when someone violates a relationship agreement in polyamory, but there are ways to prevent this from happening, or to repair after it does. This week we’re talking about boundary oversteps in non-monogamy. Can Polyamorous People Cheat? | Implicit/Assumed Boundaries | Disclosure vs. Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell | Kitchen Table Poly vs. Birthday Party Poly | Scheduling | When to Set Boundaries | Trauma-Informed Polyamory | Whose Responsibility Are Your Feelings? | A Monogamy Interlude | Metamour Resentments

This week we’re discussing some unique fetishes that have been posted about on the /r/Sex subreddit recently, including belly buttons, Speedos, and freckles. The Evolution of Fetish Discourse | Screenprinted T-Shirts | Objects & Clothing Items | Speedos | Disinterest | Belly Buttons | Body Markings

Limiting one or more senses can have a big effect on how you experience sex and kink. This week we’re talking about sensory deprivation play! Using Blindfolds | Nidra Deep Rest Eye Mask | Anxiety | Blocking Out Light | Fear Play & Surprises | Phone Sex | Sleep Hygiene | Visual Overstimulation | Immersiveness | Facial Expressions | Newbie Tops | Hearing | Hypno Audio Files | Affirmation Noises | Pain Play | Wax & Rope | ADHD | Touch Deprivation | Taste & Smell

There’s a lot of debate right now about sex scenes in movies and TV, so this week we’re discussing whether sex scenes are necessary, what makes a great one (or a terrible one), and which ones are our favorites. Content Warnings | Are They “Necessary”? | Sex vs. Violence | Fifty Shades of Grey | Real vs. Moral | Our Favorites | Porn vs. Movies/TV | Safety & Trust | Intimacy Coordinators | Consent On Set

Being an online creator can feel quite exhibitionistic at times, and not always in a sexy way. This week we’re discussing the ups and downs of being very visible online. Not Doin’ Too Good | Personas | Social Media Woes | Infinite Possibilities | Online Boundaries | Prioritizing the Personal | Urgency | Morality & Art | Creative Burnout & Sustainability

This week we’re discussing “sex moves” that have been propagated by the internet, like the shocker, the rusty trombone, and the knee trick. Are “Moves” Helpful? | Licking the Alphabet | “Come Hither” Motion | Shocker | Shallowing | The Cone | Knee Trick | Kivin Method | Reacharound | Rusty Trombone | Doorframe Lean

This week we’re parsing the differences between limits, boundaries, and dealbreakers – and explaining some of our own rules in each category. Definitions | Boundaries vs. Rules | Hard vs. Soft Limits | Dealbreakers | Changes | Relevant vs. Irrelevant Limits | “Bad” Boundaries | Coercion | “Genital Preferences” | Questioning Boundaries | Communicating Limits | Telling Them

We’re discussing safewords again this week, including how to know when to safeword, how to safeword if you tend to go non-verbal during scenes, and how doms and tops can safeword too. Going Nonverbal | People-Pleasing | When Safewording is the Point | Mollena’s Story | Are Safewords Enough? | Post-Scene Conversations | Should I Safeword? | Doms & Tops Safewording

Safewords are an important tool for many kinksters, so this week we’re discussing what safewords are, when they’re useful, and some tips on how to use them well. Consensual Non-Consent | What is a Safeword? | Stoplight System | Custom Colors | Beige & Green | Playing Without a Safeword | Genuine Distress Method | “Misusing” Safewords | “Ruining the Fun” | What Happens Next?

Sure, we’re pretty sexual people, but are we social? This week we’re discussing our current thoughts on, and strategies for, socializing while the pandemic is still ongoing. Things We Like | Spending Time Alone | Higher Standards | Keeping Conversations Going | Our Struggles | Flirting | How to Reach Out | Real-Time vs. Asynchronous | People Who Aren’t Online

This week we’re discussing some more new-ish additions to the sex/kink lexicon, some of which we like and some of which we find baffling. Prejac | Infinity Baby | /r/prejac | Breeding, Breedable, Breeders | Situationship | Hit, Smash | Sniper Position

This week, your two millennial cohosts debate and discuss the definitions of various sex/kink terms popularized by Gen Z. Feeling Old | Gooning | Simping | Gentle Femdom | Gatekeeping “Kinky” | Pleasure Dom | Girlcock, Boypussy, Etc. | Ghost Penis & Phantom Limbs

Billy just got back from kink camp (Dark Odyssey Fusion) as well as TES Fest, and this week he tells us about what it was like to do both of those kink events back-to-back. Justin McElroy on Gender Reveal | Operations Team | Comparing the Two Events | Space vs. Crowds | Bad Weather | Goals | Emotions | “I’m Working!” | Scenes | Lego Paddle | Communication Skills

In light of Elon Musk recently declaring “cis” to be a slur on Twitter (it’s not), this week Kate is interviewed by her spouse mb about what it means to be cis and how her gender presentation has shifted over time. Cis Isn’t a Slur | Queer Femme Cis Woman | Getting Misgendered | My New Gender Workbook | Boyish Presentation | Cis-Het Male Gaze | Black Leather Chucks | Gender Census | Queer as a Gender | Permanent vs. Malleable | Childhood Clues | Pronouns | Girl Roman Roy | Roman Feminization Fanfic | Medical Treatments & Procedures | GrowYourClit | Internal Family Systems | Gamer Boys | Sex & Kink

This week Kate chats with pro financial dominatrix and kinky comedian Lane Kwederis about findom and her one-woman show, Sex Job! Findom Beginnings | Improv & Theatre | Educating Clients | What Findom Involves | Financial Limitations | What’s Hot About It? | “Mesmerize” | Balancing Professional Identities | Fantasy vs. Reality | Shadow Side | Personal Growth | “Did I Do That For Money?”

Crying can be hot, challenging, painful, cathartic, pleasurable, or all of the above. This week we’re talking about our current relationship to crying, in and out of scenes. Crying Daily | Surprise | Making Yourself Cry | A Good Feeling | Fetishizing It | Seeing Others Cry | Gender & Hormones | Childhood Experiences | Looking in the Mirror | Emotions for Emotions’ Sake | Aftercare | Crying on the Phone

Continuing our discussion of brats, “bad” subs, and “good” subs, this week we talk about how rebellion, humor, and colorful language can be worked into D/s scenes, among other things. “Is That an Order?” | Responses to “Make Me” | Bratty Doms | Humor & Laughter | Fun with Language | Finding Non-Bratty Subs | Punishment Concerns | Disrespectful Honorifics

Some submissives like to be “good,” some like to be “bad,” some like to be “bratty,” and some prefer a combination or like to mix things up. This week we discuss the motivations and manifestations of these various orientations to submission. Good vs. Bad vs. Bratty | Psychological Motivations | Emotional Masochism & Humiliation | Childhood Experiences | What Do We Prefer? | “Disrespectful” Brats | Safewords & Check-Ins | Conflict | Beginner Brat Tips

This week Billy is interviewed by his boyfriend Dee Darkholme about “free use” kink, a type of consensual non-consent… while planning a free use scene they’re gonna do after the recording! Definition | What’s Hot About It? | Hedonism | Negotiation | Activities

Happy Masturbation Month! This week we’re talking about our ever-evolving relationships to masturbation and how it all relates to self-love, self-compassion, and living a good life. Our Solo-Sex History | Truly Solo Masturbation | Neurochemical Effects | Goal-Oriented | A “Waste of Time”? | Flirty Sexy Energy | Time Off to Recharge | Doing Stuff for Content | “Assisted” Masturbation

This week we’re (belatedly) celebrating Mother’s Day by talking about mommy kink – plus a decent amount of daddy kink thrown in for good measure. Succession Fanfiction | Humiliation & Meanness | Nurturing & Caretaking | Pro Dom(me)s | Mommy Issues | Popularization & Destigmatization | Incest Roleplay & Dark Ageplay (19:47–24:28) | Feelings & Vibes | Decisiveness | 24/7 vs. Not | Genderlessness | Are We Into It? | Campiness | Abuse | Freud

We’re so excited this week to be chatting with Mollena Lee Williams-Haas, a kink educator, podcaster, author, and performer. We got into a fascinating discussion about how kink can help you reconnect with your body, deepen your intimacy, push your boundaries and heal from your trauma. Kink Doula | Reconnecting with the Body | Group Sex | Sustaining 24/7 Dynamics | Being the Bad Guy | Aftercare | Slavery (29:00–31:15) | Panda & HypnoStory’s Hypnokink 101 Class | Pushback from the Community | Having Nuanced Conversations | Where Do Kinks Come From? | Star Trek | Race Play & Racism (48:38–52:38) | Kink as Play | The Prime Directive | Having “No Limits”

This week Kate has a nerdy chat with Sleepingirl, an author, podcaster, and long-time hypnokinkster who has created numerous erotic hypnosis resources, including LearnHypnokink.com. Early Days of Hypno Fetishism | LearnHypnokink.com | Subject Skills | Milton Erickson & Utilization | Pacing & Leading | Consent in Trance | HypnoStory & Panda’s 101 Class | Meeting Other Fetishists | Long-Distance Play | Space & Silence | Creativity | Flow State | Mindfulness, Meditation & Magic | Quakerism | Six Days Asleep

It’s that time again: this week we’re celebrating 4/20 by getting blazed and answering “highpothetical” questions about sex and kink! Tune in for a jam-packed, silly discussion of questions like “Would you want to be able to read your partner’s mind during sex?” and “What one kink implement would you take on a desert island?” Last Prisoner Project | Cannabis Amnesty | Destigmatizing a Kink | One Type of Orgasm | Museum/Theme Park | HypnoStory & Panda’s Hypnokink 101 Class | Speedrunners | Fanfiction | Guided Masturbation | Mind-Reading | Desert Island Implement | Scene From Fiction | Our Future Selves

This week we’re answering random sex advice questions, like: Is it hotter to wear a suit, or sweatpants? How can you enjoy sex when you’re trying not to come? And does jerking off to Lola Bunny make you a furry? Facials | Fingering | Trying Not to Come | Dressed Up vs. Dressed Down | Lesbian Dating Men | Furries

This week Billy is joined by his partner, Dee Darkholme, for a nerdy discussion of kinky roleplay: how characters get developed, which characters and tropes come up most often in their relationship, and how to make roles feel natural and authentic. Nerdery | Roleplayer Radar | Cringe & Campiness | Kink vs. Sex | Taboo | ADHD Benefits | Aliens | Age Play | Robots | How Roles Evolve | Fantasizing During Sex | Developing Lore | Authenticity | Motivations | Connection | Date Nights | Our Previous Roleplay Episode

We’ve both reviewed a LOT of sex toys, so this week we’re talking about the intricacies of sex toy reviewing: what makes a good review, how we test toys, and how readers can find reviewers whose opinions they trust. How We Got Into It | Sexy Video Reviews | Testing Process | Hey Epiphora | Bad Toys | Choosing Toys | Annoying Misconceptions | “Soft Skills” | Review Format | SEO-ification | Good vs. Bad Reviews | Reviewers’ Preferences | Number of Sessions | Testing Sessions | Brands’ Reactions | Finding Ethical Reviewers | Art vs. Sales

Edging and denial go together very well, and this week we’re talking about both: why they can be fun, why they can be annoying and difficult, and how to do them well as a top and as a bottom. Eroticizing Celibacy | Bottoming vs. Topping | Punishments & “Failure” | Ruined Orgasms | Velvet Veronica | Self-Control vs. Collaboration | Edging vs. Gooning | Altered States | Disinhibition & Vulnerability | Long-Distance | Asynchrony | Long-Term Denial | Intensity | Getting Annoyed & Giving Up | Endorphins | How to Improve

Depression can put a strain on relationships, but it doesn’t have to! This week we’re talking to our friend JoEllen Notte, an author and mental health advocate, about her new book In It Together: Navigating Depression with Partners, Friends & Family. “Are You Mad At Me?!” | How It Came to Be | Interview Process | Pandemic Changes | Check On Your Friends | Choosing Kindness | “Not My Place” | “Just Do It” | Overlap with ADHD | Interview Self-Care | Bringing Food | Postponing Difficult Conversations | Ring Theory | Taking Breaks

Sometimes. paradoxically, it’s fun to suffer! This week we’re talking about suffering in a kink context: why we (sometimes) like it, how to do it safely, and how it differs from plain ol’ sadomasochism. Drug Shortages | Pain as Pleasure | Is Suffering Sexual? | Sex as Aftercare | Pain vs. Suffering | Emotional Suffering | Justifiably Having a Bad Time | Sensory Nightmares | Gender Conditioning | Soft Limits vs. Hard Limits | Safewords | Consensual Non-Consent | Tips for Tops | Fear & Sadism

It can be embarrassing (or hot! or both!) to come at the “wrong” time. This week we’re talking about inopportunely-timed orgasms, why they can be sexy as hell, and how to navigate any shame or awkwardness they might trigger. Orgasm Control | Ruined Orgasms | Hormone Changes | Tampon in Science Class | Bathroom Sex | Premature Ejaculation Kink | “Try Not to Come” | Coming Untouched | Post-Orgasm Exhaustion | Coming While Giving Head | Wet Dreams | Nipple Orgasms | Vulnerability

Roleplay is a big part of both our sex/kink lives, but what does it actually mean to play a role? This week we’re diving into the intricacies of playing a character in scenes. Full-Time Daddy-Domming | Trivialization of Roleplay | Performance & Acting | Archetypes & Stock Characters | “What Would They Do?” | Character Creation | Humiliation & Bullying | Robots & Aliens | Lore | Character Exercises | Plot Progression | Headspaces | Breaking Character

Happy Valentine’s Day to all who celebrate! This week we’re discussing the pros and cons of this “Hallmark holiday” and answering listener questions about Valentine’s celebrations. Sex Toy Retail | How We Celebrate | Romance Aesthetic | What’s the Point? | Why the Hate? | Celebrating Solo | Judgment | Misogyny | Gendered Narratives | Anniversaries | Obligation | Mismatched Enthusiasm | Friendships | Jerkmate.com | Year-Round Romance | Everybody Loves Raymond | Early Dating | Kate’s Worst Valentine’s Day Ever

Even though we both make sex media, we’ve both felt pressured to “sanitize” what we do from time to time. This week we discuss professionalism, personas, posting nudes on main, and other aspects of this balancing act. “Professionalism” | Different Places & Voices | Getting Exxxplicit | Sexy vs. Educational | Developing a Voice | Hurts So Good | Boundary-Crossing | Exhibitionistic Thrill | Posting Nudes | Jerkmate.com | Sex Work Persona | Flirting Problems | SESTA/FOSTA | Payment Processor Issues

Why are dating apps so bad?! This week, we discuss some of our issues with dating apps and (maybe) some ways to work around these problems. Fake Profiles | Dopamine Hit | Gamification & Capitalism | Everyone Seems Boring | Specific vs. General | Flirty vs. Explicit | Twitter | Jerkmate.com | Holding a Conversation | Munches | Grindr Dick Pics | Consent Paradigms | Pushing Boundaries

Billy’s partner Dee Darkholme just got top surgery, so this week, the two of them discuss the process of deciding to get it, what the actual procedure was like, and how recovery has been. The Basics | Pre-Surgical Process | How to Decide / Being Non-Binary | Porn & Monetization | No Nipples | Doctors’ Assumptions | Binder vs. No Binder | Recovery Difficulties | Drains | Looking Forward | Clothes | Rope

We both want to do more butt stuff this year, so in this episode we discuss our experiences with anal play, our reasons for wanting more of it, and our tips for doing it well. Pure Plugs | Our Butts’ Histories | Rimming | Why? | Enjoyable Experiences | Roleplays | CNC (27:08–30:14) | Hygiene Anxieties | Enemas | How It “Should” Feel | Anal Training Regimen | The Brainwashing Book

What did we accomplish sexually in 2022, and what are our sex & kink goals for 2023? This week we’re discussing all that, plus our best sex sessions of the year. “Amateur” Porn | Best Sex | A Good Dick | Strap-On Sex | Coming from Oral | Ambulance Sex | Last Year’s Goals | New Goals | Anal

Happy new year! This week we’re reflecting on our sex/kink/dating lives in 2022: new things we tried, new toys we enjoyed, new fantasies we couldn’t stop thinking about, etc. Biggest Differences | New Things | Cum | Phased Out | Sex Toys | Fantasies | American Horror Story | Dee’s Top Surgery Fundraiser

This week we had a wide-ranging discussion about “picking people up,” pickup artists, social skills, the ethics of seduction, building confidence, and more. Solo Bar Dates | “If Books Could Kill” Episode | Social Rules | Control & Manipulation | Motivations | Dr. Nerdlove | Negging | Picking Up vs. Cruising | Meeting People in Bars | Lower the Stakes | The Offline Dating Method | Initiating Conversations | Helping People | Gathering Momentum | Continuing the Conversation | Ending the Conversation | Pickup Lines | Consensual Seduction

How do you find kink implements that are both practical and pretty? This week we’re sharing our best tips for kink toy shopping, as well as sex toy storage. Impulsive Purchases | Mass-Produced vs. Indie | Fetishist Media | Sex Shops vs. Kink Shops | Vetting | Online vs. In-Person | Deciding on a Toy | Aesthetics vs. Function | Pervertibles | Sex Toy Storage | Charging Cables | Epiphora’s Toy Closet | Decorative Displays | Discretion | Dee’s Top Surgery Fundraiser

This week we offer our best advice on shopping for sex toys, interspersed with some anecdotes about our wacky days working in sex toy retail. In-Person vs. Online | JoEllen Notte’s Superhero Sex Shop Tour | Suspiciously Low Prices | What to Know First | Deciding Whether to Buy | Versatility | Couples’ Toys | We-Vibe | Beginners’ Toys | Tenga Eggs | Turbo Glider | Orchid G | Dildos | Vibration Quality | Budget to Spark Joy | Unique Toys | Never Worth It

Is it safe to use a banana, an electric toothbrush, or a wooden spoon as a sex toy? This week, we’re discussing makeshift and homemade “sex toys”! Why? | Defining Dildos | Our Experiences | Risk Factors | Funkit Toys NoFrilldo | Turbo Glider | Body Massagers | Fruits & Veggies | Risk Assessment | Electric Toothbrush | Clothespins | Hairbrushes | Spanking University Hairbrushes Video | Ice Insertables | Candle | Rope | Ginger | MacGyvered Fleshlights

Not everyone gets horny in the same way or at the same pace! This week we’re discussing the difference between responsive desire and spontaneous desire, and how to be respectful of your partner’s desire style even if it differs from yours. Come As You Are | Responsive vs. Spontaneous | Consent | Sexually Relevant Data | Gender Differences | Different Desire Styles | Revving Up Responsives | Responsive4Responsive | Brakes & Accelerator | Kink vs. Sex

Navigating conflict is one of the trickiest parts of being in a relationship, so this week we’re discussing our best tools and techniques for having hard conversations with loved ones. Noticing the Need | Initiating a Conversation | Now’s Not the Time | Anger | Internal Family Systems | Taking a Break | Structure | Endings | Lingering Feelings

This week we’re discussing more behaviors that might be cheating, or might not be – like keeping your ex’s nudes, neglecting to use condoms, or crushing on a friend. Talk About It | Ex’s Stuff | Ex’s Nudes | Secret Crush | Emotional Connection | Sexting & Phone Sex | Intent vs. Impact | Threesome | Check-In After Bedtime | Safer Sex Protocols | Intoxication | Responding

There’s a lot of confusion over what constitutes cheating on someone, so this week we’re discussing what we think cheating is, and what it definitely isn’t. Not Monkeypox | Define “Cheating” | Masturbation | Sleeping in the Same Bed | Porn & OnlyFans | Camming & Nudes | Curdled Ink Podcast | Jerking Off Together | Flirting with Friends | Fantasizing | Custom Videos

We’re releasing this bonus episode, originally recorded for our $12+ Patreon supporters, on our main feed this week because Billy is out sick. Enjoy our discussion about exhibitionism, hypnosis, rough body play, and more! Hyprov | Exhibitionistic Beating | SELF+Jimmyjane | Vibrating Finger Massager | Nude Beach | Public Nudity | Rough Body Play | Gun Dildo | RealCock

What the hell is squirting, anyway? This week we discuss our experiences with squirting, our theories on the controversies that surround it, and our favorite toys and techniques for making it happen. Hello, Billy! | Is It Pee? | Where Is It From? | UTIs | Is It Orgasmic? | G-Spot Orgasm | SELF+Jimmyjane Vibrating Slimline Massager | Jimmyjane | How to Squirt | Njoy Pure Wand | Fingers vs. Toys | Squirting on Dicks | Motion of the Ocean | Movie Magic | Full Bladder | Squirting During Oral | Hole Punch Fluke | KR Curve | Njoy Eleven | Chin Play

We’re busting more bisexuality myths this week, like: Are bi people more likely to want to have a threesome? What’s the difference between bi and pan? And do bi femmes exist? Threesomes | Trans Inclusivity | Self-Definition | Bisexual vs. Pansexual | Stigma & -Phobias | “Straight-Passing Privilege” | Bi Femmes | SELF + Jimmyjane Vibrating C-Ring | Jimmyjane | Assumed to Be Bi | STIs | “Picking a Side” | Sitting in Chairs

Since it’s Bisexuality Day on Friday, this week we thought we’d bust some common myths and misconceptions about bisexuality and bi people. 100% Bisexual | Does Monosexuality Exist? | Comp Het | Blurred Lines | “Straight” by Hanne Blank | Behavior vs. Orientation | Identical Attractions | “It’s a Phase” | Gatekeeping | “I Kissed a Girl” | “Just Date Women” | Wider Dating Pool | Men | Promiscuity & Cheating | “Greedy” | Slut-Shaming | Gender Differences in Biphobia | Left for Someone Else

Lately we’re both unenthused about doing kink with people we don’t have an emotional connection with, so this week we’re discussing the role of connectedness and intimacy in kink and sex. Camp Struggles | Demisexuality & Demiromanticism | What is Connection? | Fast Food Kink | Affirmation | Being on the Same Page | Authenticity & Honesty | Being Honored | Honey Play Box | Seduction | Crying | Romantic vs. Platonic | Edge Play | Getting Triggered | Roleplay

How do our kinky tendencies affect other areas of our lives? This week Kate and her spouse mb discuss how dominance, submissiveness, toppiness and bottominess can manifest in not-directly-kinky situations. “Daddy” Song | Dominant Tendencies | Submissive Tendencies | Advice & Guidance | Dark Side | Dating Vanillas | Making Better Decisions | A Doll’s House | Historical Lack of Knowledge | “Tradwife” Movement | Topping Tendencies | Stand-Up Comedians | Bartenders | TikTok Wood Chopper | Magicians | Vanilla(-Ish) Tops | Kinky Flirting | Switching | Cocktail-Domming | Balance | Bottom Guilt | Bottom Skills | Positive Reinforcement

This week we revisit the topic of group sex: threesomes, foursomes, and orgies. We discuss how our mindsets about group sex have changed over the pandemic, and offer some tips on initiating and negotiating. How to Find Someone | Unicorn-Hunting | Healthy vs. Unhealthy Motivations | Predicting Success | Experienced People vs. Newbies | Vetting | Self-Reflection | Negotiation | Feeling Included | Communication During

We’ve both tried a lot of sex toys, and this week we’re talking about some of the weirdest ones we’ve ever encountered, from the Lelo dick tuxedo to the butt plug-shaped shoes. What is “Weird”? | Teddy Love | Lunabelle’s Teddy Love Review | Wake-Up Vibe | Lelo Tux | Lifestyles Tuxedo Condoms | Plug of War | Funkit Chess | Hole Punch Evolver | Trump Butt Plug | Ainsley-T | Tongue Cupcake

We both love strap-on sex, and this week we’re discussing our fave harnesses and dildos and our top tips for giving good strap. Our Strap Experiences | Strap-On vs. Handheld Dildo | Strap-On vs. Dick | Pleasure for Tops | Strapless Strap=Ons | We-Vibe | Sili Saddle | Tenga Eggs | Practicing Alone First | “Pegging” | Harnesses | Tantus Bend Over Beginner Kit | Tantus O-Rings | Beginner Strap-On Recommendations | SpareParts Joque | Aslan Leather Jaguar | SpareParts Deuce | RodeoH | Dildos | Godemiche Ambit | VixSkin Goodfella | Proprioception | Stamina Exercises | Positions | Liberator Jaz |

This week we’re celebrating our 300th episode by talking about our “top 3” choices in a bunch of different categories! Pain Implements | Dirty Talk Lines | Fan Encounters | Fantasy Threesomes | Senses to Play With | Vibrators | Places to Do Kinky Things | Other Podcasts | Ways to Flirt | Surprising Kinks

Privacy can be a tricky subject to navigate in sexual relationships, so this week we’re answering listener questions on the fine line between privacy and secrecy when it comes to sex and dating. Our Boundaries | Phone Access | Sharing Porn Info | Non-Monogamy Disclosure | Telling Children | Trauma Disclosure | Noisy Roommate | Hickeys

Femmes are somehow both erased and revered in the queer community. This week we’re discussing Kate’s femme identity: what it means, how she arrived at that label, and the joys and difficulties of being femme.Transmasc Fem(me)ness | Cis Woman vs. Femme | Femme vs. Feminine | Clothes & Makeup | Tattoos | Tomboy Side | Male Gaze | Straights Dressing Queer | Butch/Femme Dynamics | Butch is a Noun | Gaydar | Femme Invisibility | Gatekeeping | Pronouns | Asking About Pronouns | Femmephobia Follow the Dildorks: Patreon | Twitter Follow Bex: Website | Twitter | Instagram | OnlyFans | JustForFans | ManyVids Follow Kate: Website | Twitter | Instagram | Books | Newsletter | YouTube

This week we set out to have a discussion of creativity in kink, and it turned into a meandering discussion of that, Bex’s adventures at kink camp, our traumas, roleplay, boundaries and more.Bex’s Health | Classes as Aftercare | Suffering | Edge Play | Kink & Trauma | Screening Therapists | Turning Point | Seeking Sadists | Creativity Through Constraints | Flirty Roleplay | Non-Sexual Enjoyment | Knowing Your Boundaries | Palette of Permission | Nipple Stuff | Being Known | Clit Trust | Learning | Cum Cocktails | Follow the Dildorks: Patreon | Twitter Follow Bex: Website | Twitter | Instagram | OnlyFans | JustForFans | ManyVids Follow Kate: Website | Twitter | Instagram | Books | Newsletter | YouTube

This week Kate’s spouse Matthew Bischoff returns for a discussion of kinky apps, sex machines, electrostimulation and other fun sex tech. Notes App | Dominance Technology | Sex Menu | Protocol Apps | Obedience | Streaks | Sex Toy Spreadsheet in Notion | OSSM | Fucking Machines | 3D-Printing Sex Toys | Heckin’ Lewd | Nanobots & Nerve Pathways | Electrostimulation | Self-Hosted Options | Buttplug.io Intiface | Video Game Haptics | Edge-o-Matic 3000 | VR Sex | Phone Sex | Scent & Taste

Could sex apps, high-tech vibrators and sex robots ever replace sex with actual humans? This week Kate is joined by her spouse Matthew Bischoff, a technologist, app developer and cohost of the Absolutely Crushed podcast, for a discussion of sex tech. Sex Apps | Online Censorship | Hypnokink | Bluetooth Sex Toys | We-Vibe | Mozilla Privacy Audit | Cellmate Chastity Cage | Best Companies | Ana Valens on Dominatrix Simulator | Buttplug.io | Custom Coding | Music Vibes | Most Powerful | VR & AR | Educational Tools | Sex Robots

This week we’re joined by our friend Brent Black (a.k.a. Brentalfloss), who’s currently working on a sequel to his hilarious party game Use Your Words. We chat about games, being a public figure who’s out as bisexual, weird sex toys for penises, and more. Use Your Words 2 | Diverse Writers Team | Coming Out As Bi | “Bi Enough” | Representation | Straight Lines | DMs | Nobra Twincharger | Slubb | Arcwave Ion | Urethral Sounding | Penis Vibes | Swan Wand | Balldo | Old Toys with New Partners | Avoidant Attachment

This week we discuss sex dreams, romantic dreams, wet dreams, and other ways that crushes and carnality show up when you’re dreaming! Getting Mad | Sex Dream About a Friend | Dream As Excuse | Social Media Dreams | Romantic Dreams About Exes | Getting Over Dreams | Dreams About Women | Inducing a Sex Dream | Hypnosis | Wet Dreams | Angry Partner | Freud

It’s been a while since we talked about erotic hypnosis, so this week Bex interviews Kate about how hypno is manifesting in her relationship and kink life currently. Mystery | Dollification | Long-Distance Realism | Slipping Into It | Submission | Aptitudes | Subject Skills | Trance vs. Subspace | Waking Yourself Up | Depth & Metaphor | Altering Perceptions | Pre-Talk | Topping | In-Scene Feedback | Real vs. Hypnotic Sensations | Non-Sexual Stuff | Hypno Goals

People have a lot of feelings about body hair, so this week we thought we’d discuss pubes, armpit hair and leg hair: our feelings about them, our removal tips, and how we incorporate them (or don’t) into our sex lives. Current Feelings | Sensitivity | Gender Norms | Waxing | Partners’ Preference | Armpit Hair | History of Shaving | Enjoying the Process | Tweezing | At-Home Waxing | Pubes in Mouth | Ethics of Preferences | Paying For It | Making It Hot | Shaving Cream

This week Bex interviews Kate about her other creative outlet besides writing about sex: writing songs (including songs about sex!). We discuss the songwriting process and how it relates to kink, porn, and sex education, as well as what it’s like to write and perform vulnerable songs about one’s own sexuality. History | Pop Performers | Songwriting Process | Changes in Process | Choosing Subjects | Spring Awakening | Simmering | Tinder Swindler | Genre & Tone | Skill-Building | Happiness | Songs About Sex | Nuance | A Song A Week Challenge | Favorites | Political Songs | Future Ideas | Sex Doll

Bex’s partner Ashe recently celebrated 6 months on testosterone, and Bex has been on it for 5 years – so this week the two of them sat down to chat about their experiences on T. Previous T Episode | Method of Delivery | Ritual & Service | Body Hair | Deciding to Start | Impostor Syndrome | Body Modification | Surprising Effects | Voice Changes | Stumbling Upon Progress | Bottom Growth | Arousal & Orgasm | Cleaning | Refractory Period | Arousal Non-Concordance

We’re talking about masturbation again this week! Tune in to hear us answer listener questions about solo sex. Donate to Your Local Abortion Fund | Sex Strikes | Keeping It Interesting | Being Watched | Masturbation is Better | Public Places | Touching Your Own Clit | Curious Partner | Age-Appropriate Education | Household Upgrades

Happy Masturbation Month! This week we’re answering complex questions from listeners about the logistics and ethics of masturbation. Grumpy About Masturbating | Exploratory Approach | Lube on Dicks | Is It Cheating? | Insecurities | Pics of Exes | Telling Them | Condoms | Daily Challenge

Ever enjoyed spending money on someone, or being spoiled by someone? This week we’re discussing financial domination: why it’s hot, how to do it (with or without actual cash), and what kinks it pairs well with. Why Is It Hot? | Tangibility | Humiliation & Ripoffs | Guilt | Keeping Up Appearances | Professionals vs. Amateurs | Boundaries | Budgeting | Cuckolding | Ideal Items | Bimboification | Freedom & Relaxation | Findom on the Cheap | Negotiation

A very happy 4/20 to all who celebrate! Once again this year, we’re celebrating by doing “Highpotheticals,” i.e. getting high and answering your weirdest, wildest hypothetical questions about sex and dating. It’s Tradition! | Last Prisoner Project | Strains | Cis Men’s Feelings | Sex Work Budget | Orgasms on Command | Sexiest Pokémon | Any Location | Number of Fingers | Universal Kink | Crush List | Mainstream Celebrities | Small Orifices

This week, we’re so excited to be talking to sex-positive singer/songwriter Rachel Lark, who we’ve both adored for many years! We chat about her new rock musical, the vulnerability of writing explicit songs, getting over sexual shame, and more. Coming Soon: A New Rock Musical | Internal Family Systems | Arousal vs. Patriarchy | Pleasure vs. Ethics | Shame | Sex-Positive Family | Vulnerability | Specificity vs. Relatability | Musical Influences | Kink | Consent | Vibrator Manuals

This week we’re diving deeper into the topic of sex parties: how to break the ice, handle conflicts, communicate what you are and aren’t up for, and more. Surprise Orgy | Overcoming Awkwardness | Soothing Anxiety | Games | Establishing Rules | Consent | Making Introductions | Dealing with Harassers | Communicating Boundaries | Attendance Restrictions | Hal Dente Drag | Differentiating Your Event

Throwing a great play party is a surprisingly complex task. This week we’re discussing the ins and outs (so to speak) of planning a fantastic sex party. Social Anxiety | How to Find Parties | Inclusivity | Number of Attendees | Host’s Responsibilities | Designated Roles | Beducated | Location | Music | Food | Intoxicants | Should the Host Play? | Themes

Sexual ethics is always an interesting subject, so this week we’re weighing in on ethical dilemmas, like sex with a coworker, faking orgasms, and having a sexual history with your therapist. Coworker Sex | Faking Enthusiasm | Beducated | Friend/Therapist | Lying About Orgasms | Lying About Pleasure

What does it mean to “worship” someone sexually? This week we’re discussing how body worship makes us feel (while giving or receiving), the various ways we like to do it, and even its spiritual implications. What Makes It Worship? | Devotion & Love | Sensate Focus | Clit Worship | Foot Worship | Roleplay | Beducated | Self-Esteem & Body Image | Love Languages | Use the Right Words | Long-Distance Worship | Worshipping Submissives | The Sublime

The names and titles we use in bed (or in the dungeon) can really affect how we feel about our partners and ourselves. This week we’re discussing kinky honorifics: the ones we use, the ones we don’t use, and the advice we have for other kinksters who are horny for honorifics. What Are Honorifics? | Affectionate Nicknames | Daddy | Princess, Etc. | Pet | Daddy, Again | Honorific Exclusivity | Queering “Daddy” | Non-Monogamy | Equivalents to “Daddy” | Finding Titles | Yes/No/Maybe List | Non-Gendered Honorifics | Introducing New Ones | Premature Honorifics | M/s Language | Mollena Williams-Haas’ Risk Story

We’re returning to the topic of objectification to answer listener questions about dirty talk, dysphoria, combining this kink with other ones, and more!Degradation vs. Praise | Self-Esteem | Aftercare | Types of Objects | Dirty Talk | Our Fave Scenes | Fancy Shoes | Dysphoria | Chronic Pain | Race Play | Kink Pairings | Sissies vs. Bimbos | Impact

This week we’re pleased to welcome back Kenton from Funkit Toys to discuss his latest project: the Random Encounters sex dice! Join us for a nerdy discussion of sex toy creation and the joys of sexual randomness. Origin Story | NoFrilldo | Dildo Fundraisers | Sex Dice | Survey | Clear Imagery | Outdoor Sex | Rooms | Mouth & Hand Stuff | Random Number | Toys vs. Tools | Instructions & Consent | Kinky Expansion

Objectification can be so so bad or so so good, depending on context and consent. This week we’re discussing how consensual, kinky objectification relates to – and differs from – more mainstream concepts of sexual objectification. What is Objectification? | Feminist Arguments | Martha Nussbaum | Instrumentality | Denial of Autonomy | Inertness | Fungibility | Violability | Ownership | Denial of Subjectivity | Objectifying Doms & Tops | Alien Sex | “Pleasure-As-Byproduct” | Clinical Objectification

This week we’re delighted to chat with Leigh Cowart, the author of one of our favorite recent books, Hurts So Good: The Science & Culture of Pain on Purpose! We discuss sexual and nonsexual masochism, some of the brain science behind pain, and the process of writing their incredible book. Hurts So Good | Recording the Audiobook | The Origins of Masochism | Sexual vs. Nonsexual | Lightbulb Moment | Hot Peppers | Polar Plunge | Hot Ones | Being Witnessed | Hook Suspension | Physiological Predisposition | Learning to Like Pain | Arousal & Pain | Focus | Pain Processing Techniques | Psychedelics | Subspace | Emotional Pain | Post-Fifty Shades | Spanking with Our Books

This week we’re discussing the ways service kink manifests in our relationships currently, and what our biggest service-related fantasies are.Teacher/Student Fantasies | Sexual Service | Day-to-Day Service | Initiating Service | Caregiver/Little | “Good Girl” Feeling | Dopamine Machine | Learning to Receive | Gratitude & Feedback | GSRM Coaching | Anticipatory Service | Good Service | Clarifying Questions | Remembering Details | Long-Distance | Housework | Oral Service

Sex toys for penises are seldom discussed, compared to their vulva-focused counterparts, so this week we’re shining a light on our favorite toys for dicks and how to use them! Stigma | Sexual Economics | Coolness | Simple vs. Complex | First Toy | Tenga Egg | Fleshlight Quickshot | Fleshlight STU | Penis Vibrators | Fun Factory Manta | Hot Octopuss Pulse | Cobra Libre | Magic Wand Rechargeable | Stroker Wand Attachment | Vibe Technique | Orgasm Difficulties | Lovense Max 2 | Gender-Affirming Toys | Balldo | Exo | Cute Little Fuckers | Mobility Issues | Bump’n Joystick | The Handy | Lovense Gush | Fleshlight Mount | Encouraging a Partner

How can we use the idea of “archetypes” in our kink scenes? This week we’re discussing some of our favorite kinky archetypes and how we incorporate them into our play. What Are Kinky Archetypes? | No Punishment | Benefits vs. Limitations | Media Influences | Fanfiction | Submissive Archetypes | Teacher/Student | Masochists | Attractive Archetypes | Honorifics | Headspace | Non-Gendered Archetypes | Cis White Dominant Men

A lot of people combine sex with alcohol, but how can one do so in the safest and kindest way possible? This week we’re discussing the important intricacies of sex while tipsy. Harm Reduction | Consent | Arousal & Sensitivity | Lowered Inhibitions | First Dates | Intentionality | Booze vs. Weed | Chaturbate Profile Templates | Non-Drinker | Hangover Advice | Advantages | Pre-Negotiation | Flirting at Bars | Invoking #MeToo | Semenology | Serving Drinks

Happy new year! This week we’re reflecting on our sex and kink adventures from 2021, and setting goals for 2022. Our Holidays | This Year vs. Last Year | New Things | Things We Did Less Of | Toys & Products | Best Sex | Last Year’s Goals | Chaturbate Bio Design | Next Year’s Goals | Fantasies | Silliest Sex

Happy holidays! We’re finishing off the year by answering some questions about penis size, lesbian sex, sex work, and other sexy miscellany. Scissoring | Dick Size Comparison | A-Spot Dicks | First Time with a SW | Chaturbate Profile Templates | Waiting for Marriage | Medical Issue | Medical Arousal

We’re still pontificating about sexting! In this week’s episode, we share our thoughts on sending and receiving nudes, sexting in public, being a polite sexter, and more. Re-Reading Sexts | Sexting Etiquette | Stepping Away | Parentheticals | Masturbating vs. Not | Photo Consent | Text-Friendly Kinks | Public Play | IRL Awkwardness | Taking Nudes | Asking for Compliments | Partner Doesn’t Like It | Voice vs. Text | Replying to Nudes

Now more than ever, sexting is a key way many people are expressing their sexualities. This week, we share our current thoughts on, and approaches to, sexting! Skeleton Game | Assessing Sext Compatibility | Kink vs. Vanilla | Getting Sexy | Initiation & Consent | HotCherry | Dealbreakers | Face-Slapping | Subs & Bottoms | Parentheticals | Emojis

If you know what figging is, then you know that this episode where we got figged during the recording is gonna be a wild one. If you don’t know what figging is… prepare to find out! Introductions | History | Method | First Impressions | Anal vs. Vaginal | Kinks to Combine It With | Safety | Transference | Snapping Off | Fermentation | The Enhanced Male | Magic Wand Rechargeable | Fun Factory Manta | Aftermath

This week, we’re answering more listener questions about consensual non-consent! More Negotiation Questions | Evaluating Limits | More Real | HUSTLER Hollywood | Rose Gold Butt Plug | Strap U Siren Harness | Guilt | CNC for Survivors | Kink-Aware Professionals | Public Play

Consensual non-consent is a controversial kink, so this week we’re talking about how to do it in the safest, hottest, and kindest ways possible. Definitions | Safewords | Saying No | Medical Play | Intoxication Play | Agency & Oppression | Vetting Partners | Negotiation Questions | Playing Safely Without Safewords | Stakes | In-Character Safewords | Hustler Hollywood | Master Series Petite Stainless Steel Ass Lock | Kink Industries Anal Hole Spreader | Aftercare | Nervous Dom | Free Use

This week we’re discussing sleepy sex: how to do it safely and consensually, why it’s kinky as heck, and what additions can make it even kinkier. Definition | Consent | What’s Hot About It? | Morning vs. Night | Negotiation | Intimacy & Connection | Hustler Hollywood | Packer Gear Harness | Inya the Rose | “Just Laying There” | Topping vs. Bottoming | Sex Toys | Inducing Sleepiness | Safewords | Different Sleep Schedules

Many people wish they were better at dirty talk, so this week we’re discussing some of our favorite dirty-talk tips and tricks! Revisiting | Separate vs. Integrated | Top vs. Bottom | Why Do We Like It? | Anxiety | How to Do It | Hypnosis | Leveling Up | Reading Aloud | Trying Stuff Out | Improv

Ever been turned on by receiving or giving praise? This week we’re discussing the ins and outs of praise kink! Mean 4 Pay | What is Praise Kink? | Kink vs. Preference | The Power of Kink | Feedback for Tops | Praise vs. Service | Love Languages & Trauma | Brain Chemistry | Motivator & Reward | Calm & Connection | Praise as Humiliation | Types of Scenes | First Times | Solo Praise | Non-Gendered Praise | Non-Verbal Praise

Fisting is an oft-misunderstood sex act, so this week we’re discussing the mechanics and philosophy of this much-revered form of hand sex. Misconceptions | Muscle Tone | Brain & Pain | Fisting Technique | Pain from Topping | G-Spot | Closing the Fist | Extra Stimulation | Numbing Lube | Discomfort | Does It Feel Good? | Crying | Toy Training | Intoxicants | Fist Size | Lube & Gloves | Arousal & Orgasm | Vaginal vs. Anal

This week we’re answering sex advice requests from Reddit about masturbation, threesomes, vaginas, hookup etiquette, and more! Jerking Off After Sex | Didn’t Come | Partner Doesn’t Masturbate | Massage Boners | Vagina Disgust | Threesome Inequality | First-Date BJ

Kate’s debut book 101 Kinky Things Even You Can Do is launching in one week, so this week Bex interviews her about the writing process, the philosophy of the book, and how she hopes readers will use it! Long Title | Why? | Experience Level | Narrowing It Down | Extreme Stuff | Intoxication & Sleepy Sex | Research | Fetishwear | Fragrances | Illustrations | How to Use the Book | Pen Choice | Hardest Part | Research Sources | Writing Process | Launch Party | Blurbs & Acknowledgments

This week we’re talking with Mx. Nillin, a sex blogger, educator, and erotica author, about their upcoming anthology of trans and non-binary erotica, Heckin’ Lewd! Fanfiction | Heckin’ Lewd | Nillin’s Erotica Journey | Personal Experiences vs. Fiction | Blogging vs. Erotica | Own Voices | Trauma & Violence | Trans Representation | What is Trans Sex Like? | Aromanticism | Demisexuality | Sex Stress & Impotence | Strap-Ons & Balldo

Bex just got back from Dark Odyssey kink camp, so in this episode he regales us with kinky stories and offers advice for folks considering going in future! Con Drop | What is Kink Camp? | Shyness & Anxiety | Interesting Outfits | The Hunt | Suspension Scene | Swing Sex | Birdcages & Sarcophagi | COVID Precautions | Socializing Again | What to Bring | Camping Newbies | Demographics

Many people worry about their sexual hygiene and grooming, so this week we’re answering listener questions on these sensitive topics! Good vs. Bad Smells | Armpit Worship | Washing a Vagina | Don’t Like Their Taste | Anal Prep | Hygiene Supplies | Shaving the Butt | Kinky Shaving | Sweat Fetish | Toilet Paper Bits | “Pedophilic” Accusations | Injury or Illness | UTIs After Sex

Lots of people have learned new things about their gender and identity during the pandemic, so this week we’re discussing how to re-enter the dating scene as a newly-out trans person. Pandemic Self-Reflection | Returning to Dating | Taking Time Off | Managing Expectations | New Gender Roles | Media Models | Second Puberty | Other Trans Folks | Dating Cis People | Boundaries & Comfort | Practicing

With the recent news about OnlyFans fresh in our minds, this week we’re discussing sex work stigma, financial issues in the sex industry, and how to be a good customer to online sex workers. OnlyFans | Supporting SWs Now | No Money Required | Sex Work Stigma | Becoming Their Favorite | Custom Clip Communication | Patreon Update | Are They Into It? | APAG Union | September 1st Banking Action

This week we’re joined by sex blogger and tarot reader Wendy Phillips of The Wench Works. We chat about blogging, self-esteem, and the intersections of kink and spirituality – and Wendy gives us each a heartfelt tarot reading about self-love. The Wench Works | Sexy Tarot Spreads | Self-Reflection | Developing Self-Love | Post-Pandemic Prep | Tarot Decks | Reading for Bex | AudioDesires.com | Kink & Spirituality | Reading for Kate | Little Girl Blue | Bex’s Better Bottoming Workshop

Our guest this week is the sex educator and author Allison Moon! Her wonderful new book, Getting It, inspired this deep-dive discussion of casual sex. Getting It | Different Approach to Casual Sex | Gendered Assumptions | Communicating Desires | Modelling Behaviors | Is It Empowering? | Setting an Intention | Is Sex Inherently Good? | Platonic Touch | Hookup Apps | In-Person Attraction | Saying No | Enthusiastic Consent | Transactional Sex | On the Hook | AudioDesires.com | Slutty Empathy | Aftercare | Getting Laid on Recommendation

We’re celebrating our 250th episode by doing something a little different this week: our partners, Ashe and Matt, put us in the hotseat to interview us about our show’s evolution, what we’ve learned these past 250 episodes, and more! How It All Started | Lessons from Guests | Changes Since Episode 1 | Dream Guests | Behind the Scenes | More Kink Talk | Another Format | Fan Interactions | Best Thing About It | Future of the Show | Quitting the Show? | Influencing Our Relationships | Listener Questions | Keeping Sex Sexy

Many people get nervous about sexually rejecting partners, or get sad when someone sexually rejects them. This week we’re giving advice on common sexual rejection scenarios! Sex & Self-Identity | Period Sex | Responsive Desire | AudioDesires.com | Feeling Pouty | Kind Rejection

Being rejected is hard, and rejecting someone might be even harder. This week we’re delving into the intricacies of romantic rejection! Soft No’s vs. Hard No’s | Rejecting a Date Nicely | Getting Over Rejection | Media Depictions | Letting Someone Down | Childhood Rejection | Rejection-Sensitive Dysphoria | Comforting a Friend

Navigating polyamory can be difficult even in the best of times, so this week we’re answering listener questions about non-monogamy! Polycule Crush | Converting a Newbie | Can I Kiss My Metamour? | What Type? | “Too Much Work” | Reopening Post-Pandemic

This week we’re answering questions from the /r/Sex forum on Reddit, on topics such as threesome etiquette, strap-on psychology, and the definition of infidelity! WTF is Reddit? | Pegging | Sleeping with a Virgin | How Important is Sex? | Happy Ending Massage | Disparate Dick Sizes | About to Come | Squirting from Anal

Talking to your family about sex can be awkward, but we’re here to help! This week we answer your questions on navigating various sexuality-related situations in family dynamics. Parents Don’t Like BF | Coming Out as a Sex Worker | Coming Out as Polyamorous | Queer Little Sister | Condoms for Little Sis | Sex Ed Additions | Kinky Uncle | Porn Star Sister | Bex’s Blowjob Class

Lots of folks are struggling with libido issues due to pandemic stress, so this week we thought we’d discuss ways to rekindle your libido when it’s waned.Summoning Sex-Brain | When Does It Wane? | Responsive vs. Spontaneous | Motivation to Rekindle | How to Rekindle | Novelty & Flirting | Not Having Enough Sex | Partner’s Other Dates | Dysphoria | Newly on T | Bad Pain Days | Depression Meds

Whether your ex is now your best friend or your sworn enemy, it’s evident that relations with exes can be tricky… This week we advised listeners on their various ex dilemmas! Party Full of Exes | Defining “Ex” | Staying Friends | How to Reconnect | Decoding Intentions | Sex with Exes | Worse Sex | Sex Toys | Go Away Please | Running Into Your Ex | Stop Bringing it Up | Writing About Exes

Hands and fingers and fists, oh my…! This week we’re talking about hand sex: how to do it, why some people are hesitant to do it, and what makes it feel so damn good. Fisting on Camera | What’s Fun About It? | Uniqueness & Personality | Proper Technique | External Fingering | Anatomy | Ergonomics | Lube | Penis Tips | Balls | Hand Pleasure | Other Hand Stimulation | Hands Only | Fisting Anxiety

We talk about kink a lot, but what about fetishes? This week, we’re discussing what it means to have a fetish, what to do if you’re sexually incompatible with a partner, and why hooking up with fetishists is super fun. Kink vs. Fetish | Where Do They Come From? | Safety Pin Fetish | Media Influences | Playing with Fetishists | Incompatibility | Putting in the Effort | Watersports | Shame & Anger

This week, we discuss our ever-evolving feelings about casual sex, hookups, and one-night stands! Anxiety & Awkwardness | The Good & The Bad | Scarcity vs. Abundance | Demisexuality & Hookups | Romance vs. Intimacy | Negotiating a Hookup | Mismatched Expectations | Hookup Activities | Making Porn | Trans Pickup Tips | Getting Kinky

This week we’re answering more listener questions about public sex, including sex in locations like fitting rooms, graveyards, and a moving car! Beautiful Days | Not Into It | Visible Bruises | Fitting Room Sex | Cemetery Sex | Road Head | Backyard Porn | Single-Stall Bathroom | Packing Under Clothes | “A Femme’s Guide to Hard Packing” | Dream Locations | Sex on the Beach | Makeout Point

With the weather warming up and vaccines being administered, we figured now would be a good time to talk about public sex, something we’ll be able to do again pretty soon! Getting Caught | Car Sex | Consent Ethics | Shock Factor | Tips & Tricks | Making Public Porn | Sex Kit | Weirdest Places | Bathroom Sex | Objectum Sexuals | Getting Over Anxiety | Public-Friendly Kinks | Nosy Neighbor | Remote-Control Vibes | Chastity Cage | Unexpected Spectator

We’re revisiting the topic of masochism this week to discuss our current, ever-evolving relationships to pain, and our fave mental techniques for getting through intense masochistic scenes! Hurts So Good | Relationship to Pain | Self-Care vs. Self-Harm | Hopelessness | Chronic Pain | Rhythmic vs. Random | Stingy vs. Thuddy | Distractions | Practice & Processing | Easy Mode vs. Hard Mode | What is a Masochist? | Inflicting or Receiving | CBT

Happy 4/20, y’all! One again this year, as is tradition, we’re getting high and asking each other silly sex questions. Enjoy! Two Strains | Last Prisoner Project | Outsourcing to Our Partners | Fleshlight | Common Misconceptions | Body-Swap | Animal Noises | Combo Sex Toy | Sex Room | Vanilla Partner | VR Sex | Trade Sex Lives

This week we’re continuing our discussion of limits in kink! Can limits be a fetish? Can limits be toxic? Can limits be gently and safely pushed? That’s Not My Name | Safely Pushing Limits | Can Limits Be Unreasonable? | Mixing Up Partners | Can Limits Be a Kink? | Can Boundary-Pushers Be Reformed?

Your limits are valid! This week we’re talking about hard and soft limits in the realms of sex and kink: what they are, why they’re important, and how to set them clearly and kindly. “No Limits” | Boundary-Setting | Hard vs. Soft Limits | Gagging & Breath Play | Journal-Reading | How to Know | Feeling Guilty | Imbalance | Hard Limit vs. Need | Setting New Limits | Not a Limit Anymore | Complicating Factors

What will dating be like after COVID? This week, we’re discussing how (and whether) to re-enter the dating scene after the pandemic. Tinder Plus | Single-Serving Friends | Twitter as Hallway | In Person vs. Texting | Pre-Pandemic Dating Life | Flirty Energy | Atrophied Social Skills | Gender Differences | Looking Forward | Casual vs. Serious | Higher Standards | Finding the Energy | Date Ideas

This week we’re doing a deep dive on medical play! We talk about why we’re into it, what it can look like, and the various tropes and pitfalls associated with it. Vaccinations | Definition | Mad Scientists | When In Rome | A Higher Purpose | “Female Hysteria” | Bored/Tired Doctors | Structure | Calming Follow-Through | Real-Life Experiences | No Props | Condescension | Doctor’s Arousal | Speculums | Hypnosis | Eroticizing Access Needs

This week Kate is chatting with the Bearded Scotsman, a creator of erotic audio and ASMR files. We discussed consent, chivalry, “Tumblr doms,” and much more! Getting Into Erotic Audio | Reactions | Immersiveness & Helpfulness | Consent in Media | Tumblr Doms | Safety & Nurturing | Gender Dynamics | Inclusivity | Sexy Voice | Vikings & Victorians | Is Chivalry Dead? | Cringing | Self-Image | Scripted vs. Not | Dirty Talk | Putting In the Work

Relationships between metamours can be tricky, so this week we’re discussing the do’s and don’ts of connecting with your partner’s partner! Definition | Expectations vs. Reality | Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell | Triad Dynamics | Motorcycle Story | The First Meeting | Jealousy & Inadequacy | Sharing Personal Info | Dating a Partner’s Ex | Maintaining a Friendship | Re-Establishing Trust

This week we’re answering more questions about the duration of sex: how to deal when it goes on too long, how to ask for a round two, and more! Sad Cunnilingus | Meditative Headspace | Round Two | Help Them Finish | Kinkifying It | Overstimulation | Novelty Wearing Off | Reassurance | The Purpose of Sex

A lot of people worry that the sex they have is “too short” or “too long,” so this week we’re answering some listener questions about the duration of sex! Misconceptions | PIV vs. Sex | Making Accommodations | When Sex Begins | Quickies | Increasing Stamina | “Normal” Stamina | Time of Day | Wandering Mind

This week, we’re discussing some of the intricacies of group sex – a type of encounter we’ll hopefully be able to have again someday, post-pandemic! Friendship Threesomes | Orgies vs. Play Parties | Chickening Out | Transcendence | Fantasy vs. Reality | Anxiety vs. Relaxation | Zoom Orgies | Structure & Spotlight | Self-Judgment | Negotiating | Hosting a Party | Sensory Issues | Too Big? | Checking In | Consent | Pulling Out

Happy Valentine’s week! In this episode we answer some listener questions about celebrating Valentine’s Day. Love is Art Kit | Clone-a-Willy | Long-Distance Celebrations | Polyamorous Planning | Does V-Day Matter? | Queerifying V-Day | V-Day Ideas For Kinksters | Bad Dates | Early Gifting | Fifth Wheel | Newly Out as Trans

This week we’re talking to Eva Bloom – a sex educator, YouTuber, and author – about sexting, casual sex, desire during a pandemic, and more! Benefits of Sexting | Sexting w/ Cis Men | Walking Out | Masters Thesis | Spicy Flirting | Communication Improvements | Initiating Sexting | Compassionate Casual Sex | Queering the Straight Hookup | Setting Expectations | Filtering Potential Partners | Slut for Kindness | A Compassionate Guide to Sexuality and COVID-19 | Self-Comparison | Dual-Control Model | Casual Kink | Compassionate Casual Sex Virtual Workshop | Sex & COVID-19 Virtual Workshop

As we near the end of our twenties, we’re discussing how the aging process has affected our sexualities thus far, and how we envision our sex lives transforming far into the future! Feeling Like an Adult | Dysphoria & Aging | Queer Temporality | Women Aging | Are All Hot People Good at Sex? | Human vs. Trophy | “The Best Years of Your Life” | Spirituality & Magic | Age Play | Reclaiming Juvenility | Orgasm Difficulties | Testosterone | “Work” Orgasms | Utilitarian vs. Performative Sex | Disability | Acrobatic Positions | Community Connections | Sensual Pleasures

While our show is mostly about sex, it’s not the only type of intimacy that matters! This week we’re discussing how emotional and physical closeness play out in purely platonic friendships. Pandemic Anxiety | National Hugging Day | Intimacy & Trust | Intimacy vs. Touch | Gender & Friendship | Parental Influences | Saying No | Managing Expectations | Establishing Intent | When Feelings Develop | Jealousy | Queerplatonic Relationships | Touch Aversion

What happens when your long-distance relationship isn’t long-distance anymore? This week we’re talking about the adjustments and changes that occur when this happens! Long-Distance Marriage | Introversion | Magical Vacation Time | Excitement | Communication Shifts | Phone Sex & Sexting | Family & Friends | LDR Skills | It’s Gonna Be Weird | Readjustment

Since many of us are stuck at home right now, this week we’re chatting about household service tasks in D/s dynamics! Distance No More | Meal Planning | Does It Feel Kinky? | Dommy vs. Subby Service | Laundry | Executive Dysfunction | Gender Affirmation | (Dis)Ability | Hate Housework | Compliments & Rewards | Self-Efficacy | Task vs. Favor | “Slacking Off”

So long, 2020! This week, we’re reflecting on how this hellish year affected our sex lives, what salacious goals we did and didn’t achieve, and what we hope to do in 2021. Holidays with Family | Pandemic Stress & Coping Mechanisms | Switching | Tickling | Rope Bondage | Chastity | Financial Domination | Cuckolding | Bratty Dominance | CBT | Blowjobs | Parties & Cons | Toys | Glitter Tops BDSM Gear | Best Sex | Last Year’s Goals | Next Year’s Goals | Chastity Photoshoot

This week, we’re celebrating Global Orgasm Day by answering some of your questions about orgasms! What Orgasms? | Global Orgasm Day | Strap-On Orgasms | Weaker w/ Partners | Sadness About PIV | Squirting vs. Orgasm | Cis Guy Squirting | Squirting Science | Sex Isn’t Over | Don’t Like Orgasms

The gifting season is upon us! This week we’re discussing what makes a great sexy gift, whether you’re trying to spoil a partner, a friend, or your favorite online sex worker. Gift-Related Panic | Love Languages | What Makes a Good Gift? | Usefulness vs. Frivolity | Surprise vs. Discussion | Dildo Size | Toxic Toys | Bottoms Buying for Tops | Sexy Gifts for Friends | Gifts for Online Sex Workers | Etsy Stores | Unicorn Collaborators | TwistedSyn | Lovecrafters Toys | SplitPeaches | SimplyElegantGlass | LVXSupply

Kate got married last month, so this week we’re talking about the sexy and kinky dimensions of wedding traditions! Wife Life | Wedding Dress Fetish | Bridezilla | White Dress? | Dress Code | “Something Old…” | First Look | Tossing the Bouquet/Garter | Wedding Night Sex | Njoy Eleven | Chastity | Nerves | Gender-Neutral Terms

This week, Bex chats with his partner Ashe (of Rose Glass Photography) about the ways they play with chastity in their relationship! Chastity vs. Orgasm Control | How They Got Into It | Fast Orgasms | Getting Into It | Devices | Butt Plugs | ADHD | Future Plans | Combinations | Non-Monogamy | Advice for Beginners

This week we’re talking with Sinclair Sexsmith, writer, educator, and editor of the new book Best Lesbian Erotica of the Year, Volume 5! We touch on consent in erotica, the evolving definition of “lesbian,” disability representation in erotic media, and more. Alaska | Editing an Anthology | Fantasy vs. Reality | What is “Lesbian”? | Trans Representation | Mind Expansion | Pushback | Erotic But Not Sexual | Marketing & Messaging | Old Erotica Books | Underrepresented People | Disability & Chronic Pain | Generating Ideas

Some people love being single, some hate it… Whatever your opinion may be, this week we’re discussing the single life! Election News | Bad at Being Single | “Are You Single?” | Friendships | List of Priorities | Stigmatizing Singlehood | Gender Dynamics | Couples’ Privilege & Amatonormativity | Pestered by Family | Bear Bergman Column | Dealing with Loneliness | Self-Love | Recovering From Breakups | Change & Growth | Attention-Seeking | Texting Exes

Kate got engaged recently (!!) so this week is a frank discussion of marriage proposals, engagement, and the various unconventional ways one can do these things! Big News! | Necessary Conversations | Why? | It’s a Trap! | Who Proposes? | Ritual | Surprise vs. Not | Love, Inc. | Emotional Preparation | The Ring | Financial Domination | Subverting It | Polyamory | Commitment Ceremonies | Collar | Minister Daddy | Free Choice

Your sexual sensitivity can affect your enjoyment, self-esteem and more – so this week we’re discussing some of our best tricks for managing sensitivity-related issues! Ideas During Sex | “Shoulds” | Compared to Average | Sensitivity vs. Orgasm | Pumps | Weed | Libido-Boosting Products | Antidepressants | #OrgasmQuest | Monster Under the Bed | Testosterone | Dialing It Back | Indirect Stimulation | Increasing Sensitivity | Fantasizing | Vibrators | Feeling Guilty | Arousal Gels | Sexualizing Desensitization

What does it mean to be in a 24/7 D/s dynamic, why is it hot, and why is it comforting? This week we're discussing round-the-clock power exchange! Always Kinky | Horny All the Time?! | Intimacy & Interdependence | Organizing Principle | Self-Improvement | Moral Responsibility | Protocol | Conditioning | Risk Assessment | Off-Limits Areas | Blue Balls 4 Biden | Getting What You Want | Importance | When You’re Not Feelin’ It | Limited Bandwidth | Kink in Public

This week we’re addressing some of your questions about boundaries, especially as they pertain to sex, friendships, and non-monogamy! Inappropriate Client | Episode Name | Nervous Partner | “Good-Natured Ribbing” | Anger | Intimacy Before Sex | Gone Horribly Wrong | Seeking Approval | Threesome Aftercare

Setting boundaries is hard, but important! This week we’re discussing the tricky business of drawing a line in the sand, with romantic partners and in general. Yelling | COVID-Era Boundaries | Boundaries vs. Rules | Why They’re Useful | Ultimatums | Complications | Checking Back In | What Makes It Easier? | Sooner is Better | Bad Reactions | Being Nice | Bullshit

How do you figure out whether a potential kink partner is safe enough and a good enough match with you before you do anything with them? This week we’re discussing the fine art of vetting! Casual Slapping | What Is Vetting? | Thresholds | Slut Referral Network | Consent Cues | “One of My People” | Social Capital | Direct vs. Indirect | Safewording | Storytelling | Pre-Emptive Domming | Framing Devices | Role-Modelling | Saying No | Making Excuses | Attachment Styles | Body Language | 2nd or 3rd Date | Disclosing Gender

This week we’re talking with polyamory-experienced psychotherapist Jessica Fern about her excellent new book, Polysecure: Attachment, Trauma, & Consensual Nonmonogamy. Filtering the Monogamy Out | Origin Story | Structure as Security | Take Responsibility For Your Feelings | Clementine Morrigan’s Trauma-Informed Polyamory | Self-Regulation & Auto-Regulation | Parts Work | Common Problems | Taking Breaks | Giving Up | Ideal Relationship Styles | Having Your Shit Figured Out | Empowerment & Healing | Dealing with Therapists

Crying is good for the soul, but did you know it can also be good for the libido? This week we’re discussing the kinky appeal of crying: cathartic sadomasochism, dacryphilia, emotional sex, and more! Other Catharses | Health Benefits | Masculinity & Vulnerability | That’s a Thing?! | Sadism & Emotional Topping | Emo Aesthetic | Ruining Something Beautiful | Sensual Pleasure | Feeling Cute | Good vs. Bad Crying | Sadness | Crying-Focused Scene | Bursting Into Tears | Runny Makeup | Unicorn Tears | Mezcal Negroni | Sixth Hour | Negotiation | Therapeutic vs. Therapy | Secrets | Tears in Sex | Medical Play | What to Do | Feeling Guilty | #BirthdayBruises

This week Kate is joined by her partner Matt (they/them) to talk about their recent forays into chastity play! Orgasm Control | Past Chastity Experiences | Cageless Experiments | CB 6000 & Other Devices | Boners | Coping Strategies | Sleeping | Handling the Horniness | Chastity Journal | D/s Dynamic | Keyholding 101 | Long-Distance | Devices vs. None | Emotional Effects | Duration Goals | Helping & Supporting | Financial Domination | Writing Assignments | Chastity for Vulvas | Fancy Steel & Neosteel | Gender Feelings | Decentralizing Dicks | Health & Safety | Playing Solo | Chastikey App | Advice for First-Timers | Twitter Thread

We’re returning to the topics of subspace and topspace this week to answer some great questions from listeners about these phenomena! Switch Drag | Star Trek | New Partner | How to Tell | Dissociation | Explaining to a Partner | Straight/Cis People | Serving While Spacey | Keeping Yourself Out | Assault Survivor | Safewording | Reassuring a Dom | Taking Care of a Sub | Crying Afterward

Subspace and topspace are two highly sought-after types of experience in the kink world – but what are they, and how do you access them? This week we’re discussing kinky headspaces! How Important Is It? | What Is It Like? | Topspace vs. Domspace | Surrender & Mastery | Spacey Interactions | Snapping Out of It | Aftercare | Continual Topspace | Hypnotic Triggers | Comedy Pacing | When It Hits You | Communication | Soothing Anxieties | Switching Within Scenes | Removing Distractions | Bondage

This week we’re discussing the intersections of sexuality and social media with Katrin Tildenberg, Ph.D., and Emily van der Nagel, Ph.D., two researchers and lecturers who just released a fascinating new book called Sex & Social Media! Sex & Social Media: the Book | Long-Distance Collaborations | Tumblr Ethnography | Tumblr Porn Ban | GoneWild Subreddit | What is Sex? | Future of Sex Online

This week we’re talking to Aryn, an astrologer, podcaster, and sex and relationship coach. They fill us in the answers to our crucial sexual astrology questions, such as: Which planets govern your kink identities? Are all Pisceans bottoms? Is Capricorn the daddy dom sign? Queer Shorthand | Alternate Spirituality | Love & Sex Signs | Switches | Aries | Body Parts | Virgo | Capricorn as Daddy | Other Signs’ Best Qualities | A Chart’s Influence | Asking For Their Birth Time | Saturn Return | Queers vs. Straights | Chani Nicholas | Chris Brennan | Erotic Renaissance Podcast

It’s our 200th episode! Join us as we discuss some other milestones in our lives – specifically our sex lives. 200!!! | Old Episodes | Sex Shop | Remote-Controlled Vibrators | Power Exchange | Fifty Shades of Kegel Balls | Wanting to Fuck Someone | Porn with Mom | Tasting Cum | First-Date Sex | “Pinch the Skin As Hard As You Can” | Sending Nudes | Strap-On Blowjobs | Oral Sex Party | Little Space & Alcohol | First Orgasm | Using Toys on Partners

Conditions like ADHD can affect your whole life, including your sexuality and relationships, in really interesting ways! This week Kate interviews Bex about how his ADHD manifests and how he manages the difficulties that come with it. Recognizing it | Definition | Doesn’t Everyone Have That? | Diagnosis | Make It Sparkly | Dating Another ADHDer | Sex & Kink | Impulsivity & Surprise | Gender & Testosterone | Hyperfocus | Distraction During Sex | Disclosing | Cheating | Planning Scenes | Supporting a Partner

Chronic pain can make your sex life tricky, but it doesn't have to ruin it! This week Bex interviews Kate about her mysterious chronic pain disorder, how it manifests in her sex/kink, and what makes it easier to handle. Pain History | BJ Interference | “Depression-Related Pain” | Disability Impostor Syndrome | Type of Pain | Impact on Sex Life | Intoxication | Hypnosis | Lucked Out | Caregiving | The Handy | Pillows | My Pain Diary | Liberator | Protocol | Topping | Sexy Accoutrements | Medications

This week we’re answering your conversational queries! We explain how to deduce someone’s openness to chatting, ask questions people actually want to answer, navigate discussions when you’re low on spoons, and more. Intoxication | Want to Talk? | Yes, And | No Response Required | How Are You? | 50 Non-Pandemic-Related Questions to Ask | Social Skills | Stressful Questions | The Same Conversation | “What’s Up?” | Weird Questions | Low Energy

What does it mean to be good at conversation? We’re not claiming to be experts, but we have our preferences… This week, we’re discussing conversational skills: why they matter, how to develop them, and what to avoid. ADHD & Neurodivergence | Why? | Pick-Up Artists | Monosyllabic Conversationalists | Follow-Up Questions | Displaying Knowledge | Answering Your Own Questions | Reading Emotions | Nonverbal Communication | Body Language | Offering Options | Enthusiasm | Digital Cues | Silence | Loveland Therapy Fund

Why do we sometimes call kink “play”? How does it relate to the games we played as children? This episode is a meandering philosophical discussion of the role of play in our lives – including our sex lives! Collarbone Play | Ass Play | Re-Watching | Recess | Play vs. Consuming Media | Critical Thinking | Childhood Sexuality | Capitalism | Repetition | Learning | Empathy | Non-Playful Play | Play Pretend | Vulnerability | Childhood Games | Healthy vs. Unhealthy Outlets | Needing Play | Roleplay | Challenges | Erotic D&D | Trans Justice Funding Project | Survived & Punished

It’s a weird time to be celebrating Pride, to say the least… This week we’re talking about some ways you can access a little Pride magic even in these stressful times. Rocky Horror | Unorthodox “Churches” | #CelebratePrideQuietly | Going to Protests | Critical Resistance | You’re Wrong About Stonewall | Making Gay History | Two Headed Girl | The Offline Dating Method | Disclosure | How to Survive a Plague | Paris is Burning | Pose | Sense8 | An Unkindness of Ghosts | These Thems | Crafts | C. Murphy | Queer History | Desire Brainstorming | Finding Community | Media Audit | New York Toy Collective | Funkit Toys | Wet For Her | Queer Porn | How Can We Celebrate? | Non-Binary Inclusivity | “Looking Straight” | Center for Black Equity | The Okra Project | Chosen Family Law Center

Hope y’all are doing okay in this very stressful time. This week we’re discussing how high stress levels affect sex and dating, from dissociation to guilt to trauma triggers. Time Management | Escapism vs. Information | Baths | De-Stressing Sex Toys | Solo Quickie | Illness Flare-Ups | Communicating While Triggered | Trauma-Informed Polyamory Workshop | When to Manage Stress? | Dissociation | Libido Guilt | Dating Apps | SexyDorkyQuarantine | Black Coalition for AIDS Prevention | National Center for Transgender Equality | Are Prisons Obsolete? | History Teaches Us to Resist

This week, we’re joined by self-made porn queen Gwen Adora to discuss how her online sex work business has changed in light of the pandemic – and how the online porn landscape is shifting more generally in these trying times. Sex Worker Label | Roleplay Videos | Slinky Porn | Work Week | Productivity | Customer Trends | Be Nice to Sex Workers | Pandemic Porn | Crews & Creativity | Caroline Calloway | Racism & Classism | Value | Skillsets | Normalization | Ashe’s BLM Products

This week we talked with sex educator, columnist, and stripper Andre Shakti about how she’s transitioned her sex work career onto the internet in the wake of COVID-19. Hopefully you’ll find this useful if you’re thinking about doing the same. Also: Black Lives Matter, ACAB, stay safe out there if you can, friends. Pandemic Nudes | Pre-Pandemic Work Week | Government Assistance | Upkeep | Sanctuary Virtual Strip Club | Online Classes | Customer Etiquette | Patron’s Guide to Strip Clubs | Harm Reduction | Andre’s GoFundMe | Minnesota Freedom Fund | Brooklyn Bail Fund | North Star Health Collective | Black Lives Matter (US) | Black Lives Matter (Canada)

Hope you’ve had a lovely Masturbation Month, despite the circumstances! This week we’re answering more listener questions about jerkin’ it. No Pants | “How to Masturbate” Video | Technique Lists | Vibrator Tips | Sex Training | Dysphoria | Quitting Masturbation | Roommate Troubles | Tedium | Comfortable Penetration | Guilt & Sadness

This week we had a great chat with authors and polyamory educators Kevin Patterson and Dr. Liz Powell about their 6-week online course, Unfuck Your Polyamory. We also got their advice on some of the polyamory pitfalls people are experiencing these days due to the coronavirus lockdown.Unfuck Your Polyamory | Couples’ Privilege | Media Representation | LDRs & Love Languages | Stress Levels | Communication & Bandwidth | Partner Imbalances | Harm Reduction | Online Group Sex

Happy Masturbation Month! To celebrate, we’re answering some of your most pressing questions about what some people euphemistically call self-lovin’. Professional Masturbators | Masturbation Month | COVID Libido | More Satisfying | “Genital Sneeze” | Edging | Different Ways of Orgasming | Interdependency | Excess & “Addiction” | Vibrator Overuse | Toys with Partners | Using Hands | Partner Walks In

This week, we’re chatting with journalist, author, and theologian Tara Isabella Burton. Her forthcoming book Strange Rites is about how the “religiously unaffiliated” seek meaning and fulfilment through non-religious means – like sex, kink, and polyamory, to name but a few! Strange Rites | Chosen Family | Lifestyle Kink vs. Just For Fun | Perfectionism | Idealism | Intuitionalism | Embodiment | Consent | Unfuck Your Polyamory | Reconciling with Religion | Pain Rituals | Power Dynamics | Fulfillment

This week we’re joined by erotic letter writer, tarot reader, and oral historian Jamie Beckenstein to discuss the joys of sexy snail mail! Rail Mail | Personas | Why Snail Mail? | Touch | Exploring Fantasies | Space & Time | Tools | Handwriting | Language | Aftercare | Lessons Learned | Cis Men | Pricing | Trauma Survivors | Repeating Words | Dissociating | Sign-Offs

Happy 4/20! This week's episode is our annual Highpotheticals special, where we get high off our asses and answer sex questions sent in by listeners. Enjoy! Wonders of Weed | Kinkiest Vegetable | “Useful” Kinks | Personality Traits | Smoke a Dick | Additional Limbs | Sound Effects | Period Products | One-Offs

We’re back answering more of your COVID questions! Tune in to hear our thoughts on maintaining relationship momentum during the crisis, balancing different libido levels, and Skype date etiquette, among other things. Keeping Them Interested | Deeper Conversation | Video Date Etiquette | Partner in the Room | Classes & Events | Quiet Kink | FWBs | Sex Drive Discrepancies | Size Training | Upside-Down | Secret Dirty Talk

Want to liven up your self-isolation with some sex and/or kink? We’ve got more suggestions this week than you can shake a dick at! Protocol & Ritual | Clone-a-Willy | Dress-Up Doll | Roleplay | Yes/No/Maybe List | Medical Play | Edging & Orgasm Control | Self-Tying | Leather Care | Recordings & Videos | Cam Shows | Custom Content | Phone Sex | Hypnosis | Curated Smut | Weird Music | History | Sex Toy Reviews | Surveillance

This week we’re joined by kink educator Carter Brûlée to discuss one thing the three of us have in common: being silly, playful, and giggly during sex and kink! Fire & Dessert | Srs Bsns | Ruining the Mood | Kink As Play | Sneezing | Giggle Check | Suffering | Tickling | Topping | Roleplay | Advice For Partners | Negotiation & Check-Ins | Giggling | Implements | Beginner Tips | Humiliation | Distance

Wow, what a week. This episode we’re answering questions about the thing that’s on everyone’s mind – COVID-19 – and how it intersects with sex and dating. Hope you find this helpful and comforting, friends! NYC Health Brief | Sex Hygiene | Cancelling Dates | #PolyProblems | Metamour Boundaries | Touch-Starved | Hopelessness & Jealousy | “Clean Sex” | Breakups | Casual Love | Friends | Online Games

How do you do kinky stuff if you don’t have (or don’t want) someone to do them with? This week we’re talking about solo kink: why it’s fun, how to do it safely, and (of course) how it’s relevant to the current global pandemic. #StayTheFuckHome | What Is Solo Kink? | AFemmeCock Post | Reasons | Masturbation Comparison | Pain & Self-Harm | Dangers | Negotiation | Headspace | Fantasizing | Toys & Products | Mirrors | Internet Integration | Edging | Chastity | D/s | Self-Compassion | Aftercare

Don’t listen to this episode while driving! This week Kate busted out her fledgling hypnosis skills and hypnotized Bex, after an extended scene negotiation. You’ll learn about communication, recreational hypnosis, and what Kate’s hypno top voice sounds like…! Erotic? | Desires | Kinesthetic | Inductions & Deepeners | Fractionation | Sex & Touch | Intensity | Meta-Communication | Motivations | End | Risk Assessment | Pendant/Pendulum | Mini Scene | Debrief #1 | Taking Too Long? | Bondage Scene | Debrief #2 | Resolution | Debrief #3

This week, we’re chatting with writer and mental health advocate JoEllen Notte about her incredibly helpful soon-to-launch book on sex and depression, The Monster Under the Bed! Crying | Double Taboo | Introverts at Conferences | Sex Educator BFFs | Research | The Book You Need | Us vs. the Problem | Unqualified | Horny Depression | Kink | Self-Harm? | Caretaking Guilt | Desirability | Waning Libido | Sex-Positivity | Lube | Wand Vibes | The “Normal” Way | Doctors | Medications | Scaring the Public | One Takeaway

We’re talking about play parties again this week, and this time we’re focusing on what happens once you get to the party. Hear our best advice on approaching people, negotiating pickup play, saying “no” nicely, and more! Nerves | Different Types of Party | Approaching People | Negotiation | SIMMER | Watching | Feeling Awkward | Expectations | Saying No | Self-Consciousness

This week Kate is joined by her partner Matt (they/them) to talk about collars: what they are, why people like them, and how to go about buying one, negotiating one, and wearing one! What is a Collar? | Kate’s First Collar | Gifting Collars | L’Amour-Propre | Old Guard | Bringing It Up | Play Collars | Negotiating Rules | Flagging | Touching | Doms | Double Duty Cuff | Reactions in Public | Necklaces & Day Collars | Inappropriate Situations | Complimenting Strangers | Contextualizing | Buying One For Yourself | Radical Self-Love Totem | Old Collars | Ceremonies | Non-Monogamy | Breakups | Wear & Tear | Aslan Leather | Eternity Collars | Locks & Keys | Collarversary

This week we’re joined by Ashe, the photographer extraordinaire behind Rose Glass Photos, who also happens to be Bex’s partner! We discuss how photography interacts with gender expression, kink, personal branding, and more. Butt Selfies | Marginalized Folks | Gender on Purpose | Perfection | Comfort vs. Awkwardness | Preparation | Shoot with Matt | Kinky Photographers | Giving Direction | Intoxication | Gendered Posing | Faces | Cameras | Social Media & Branding | Diversity | Sensitivity

Play parties are so fun, but also confusing and scary at times! This week we’re demystifying the processes of finding play parties to attend, mentally preparing yourself to play, and putting together your party outfit. Sex or No Sex? | Finding Parties | Vetting | Not Kinky? | Alone vs. With People | Mental Prep | Logistics | Dress Codes

This week we’re answering some of your big kink questions, including how to keep things casual in a kinky friendship-with-benefits and what to do when a top safewords! Pervy Purview | D/s FWB | Slut Protocols | Hobbies | IRL Fanfiction | Aftercare | Sub Drop | Giving Feedback | Tops Safewording

Let’s be cool and heat things up: this week we’re discussing temperature play!Weather | Sensation Play | Easy vs. Advanced | Ice | Topping | Risks | Wax | Toys | Enemas | Lube & Oil | Emotions | Safewording

What skills do bottoms develop that allow them to take more sensation, feel good about doing so, and make their tops happy? This week’s episode is all about bottoming skills, which are sometimes underacknowledged in the kink world. iTunes Reviews | Switching | Subbing vs. Bottoming | Bottoming Skills Workshop | Underrecognized | Masochism | Subspace | What You Want | Negotiation | Providing Data | Building the Playground | Pain Processing | Safewording | Expressiveness | Feedback |

Vulvas and vaginas are great! This week we’re discussing our feelings about these widely venerated and vilified parts – both our own and other people’s. Vulva Collector | Our Own Bits | Vag vs. Dick | Queer Impostor Syndrome | Transferrable Skills | Sucking Clits | “Switching” Genders | More Complicated | Visual Representation | Vag Smells | Tightness | Aesthetics | Semantics | Sex Ed | Stigma & Shame | Labia

Happy New Year! This week we’re reviewing how our sex lives progressed in 2019, and looking forward to discuss our 2020 sex goals.You’re Wrong About | Overall Trends | Sex Ed | Decentering Sex | Bad Sex | Keeping Track | Number of Partners | Locations | Best Sex | Roleplay | Phone Sex | Topping | Hypno-Topping | Sex Toys | Sex Media | Last Year’s Goals | Passion Projects | Apologies | Submitting | New Orgasms | Dicks

We’re back to chat more about taboo kinks! Hear us unpack incest porn, edgy ethnoreligious roleplays, forced feminization, and more. Relativity | Legislation | Incest Porn | Context | Trauma | Fantasy vs. Reality | Spicing Things Up | Uncool | Beducated Female Orgasm Course | Race Play | Hate Crimes | Motivations | Forced Feminization | Limits | Bringing It Up

This week we’re talkin’ taboos! Hear us discuss some of our favorite taboo kinks, like intoxication, consensual non-consent, and sleepy sex. More to come next week! Toybag Guide to Playing With Taboo | What Is Taboo? | Vanilla Taboos | Fantasy vs. Reality | Gateway Kinks | Blood | Jillian Keenan | Consensual Non-Consent | Aftercare Buddy | “Slave” | Triggers | Check-Ins | Intoxication | Beducated Female Orgasm Course | Negotiation | Poppers | Sleepy Sex | Forced Bi | Taking On the Oppressor | Identity vs. Behavior

Almost everyone’s curious about hypnosis, so we’re back this week doing Hypno 101! Learn about how trance works, what it feels like, and what kinky stuff you can do with it. Mind Play | Scripts | Pre-Talk | Negotiation | Speaking in Trance | Children | Surprises | Vetting Tops | Inductions | Relaxation | Fixation | Resisting | Confusion | Covert Hypnosis | Rapid Inductions | Coercion | Derren Brown | Are We There Yet? | Utilization | Fractionation | Triggers | Aftercare | Hypno Bondage | Love Dial | Indirect Suggestions | Phrasing | Arousal | Dials | Tools

We attended a hypnokink event together recently so this week we decided to chat about erotic hypnosis! Hear about our fantasies surrounding this kink, some scenes Kate has done, and some hypnosis misconceptions we love to debunk. TES Hypnokink Group | Distractions | Validity | Tricks | Orgasm Countdown | Lazy Tops | Mindlessness | Perception vs. Reality | Metaphor | Relaxing | Risks | Two Hyp Chicks | The Brainwashing Book | Fantasies | Intelligence Play | Undoing | Service | Training | Nipples

This week Bex sits down with Rachael Rose, a chronically ill and disabled sex educator, to talk about their shared diagnosis: ADHD! Find out how this condition intersects with sex, dating, creativity, and more.Diagnosis | ADHD Brain | Getting Things Done | Homework | Brain Engagement | Watching Movies | Gender Bias | Restlessness | Gamification | Time Blindness | Reaching Out | Notifications | Relationships | How to ADHD | Motivation | Food | Deep Dives | Noisy Brain Workshop | Distraction | Sex Tips | Joy | NRE | Long-Distance | Looking Forward

This week we’re tackling the sex and kink elements of long-distance relationships! Tune in to hear our best Skype sex tips, how protocol works in LDRs, and whether we would have sex on an airplane. Mile-High Club | Skype Sex | Feeling Silly | Flirting & Foreplay | “Real Sex” | Accessibility | Protocol | Sadomasochism | We-Vibe Sync | Aftercare | Protocol Changes | Shopping | Research Tasks | Collars | FaceTime Makeup | Travel Tips

We’ve both been in multiple long-distance relationships, so today we’re discussing the weird, wonderful, and sometimes wistful realities of LDRs!What Counts? | Initial Opinions | Because Internet | Day-to-Day | Unreality | Chemistry | Communication Style | Touch | Dates | Finances | Endgame | Polyamory | Balance | Traits | Soulmates | Asking | Important Conversations | Time Management | Emotional Support | Watching & Reading

Bex is back from the hospital after his top surgery! This week he’s telling us the story of his experience (with some contributions from Kate, who was there too). Current Status | Early Morning | Preparation | Money | Dad | Lip Ring | Anaesthesiologist | Sharpie | Joking/Coping | Misgendering | Peeing | Aromatherapy | Sex Break | Hot Nurse | Graham Crackers | Elevator | Pain | Marvel | Partners | Recovery

We sat down with therapist and educator Aida Manduley to discuss the psychological model known as attachment theory – how it works, why it matters, and (of course) how it relates to non-monogamy and kink! What Is Attachment Theory? | Insecure | Secure | Anxious-Preoccupied | Dismissive-Avoidant | Fearful-Avoidant | Caveats | Childhood | Abuse | What to Work On | Distress Tolerance | Different Manifestations | Becoming Secure | Feelings | Silence | How to Say No | Emergencies | Non-Monogamy | Kink | Bragging | Reinforcement | Context

In preparation for Bex’s long-awaited top surgery, we had a conversation about his reasons for getting it, what he’s been doing to get ready for it, and what he thinks will happen during recovery and beyond. Time Travel | Rude Questions | What Is It? | Deciding | Process | Risks | Fears | Pain | Recovery | Depression | Regrets | Saying Goodbye | Chest Hair | Looking Forward | Sex | Friends & Partners | Advice | Thirst Traps

This week rounds out our 3-part series on breakups! We’re addressing some awkward post-split situations, like reclaiming your possessions, saying goodbye to your ex’s family, and dealing with passive-aggressive tweetstorms. Getting Back Your Stuff | Impulsive Breakups | Taking a Break | Close Quarters | New Dates | Harping On | Friends & Family | Subtweets

We had more to say about breakups, so here’s another episode about the ends of relationships!Grammar/Gender Rebel | Rebounds | Staying Friends | Small Talk | Best Breakup | Pre-Negotiation | Friend Breakups | Poly Breakups | Supporting Partners | D/s Breakups

How did it take us this long to do an episode about breakups? This week we’re discussing some of our worst splits, how we think they should be done, and what should happen afterward.Which One Is Harder? | First Breakup | Text vs. In Person | Long-Distance | Teenage Bullshit | When Is It Time? | Downleveling | Clarity | Reasons | Safety | Location | Post-Breakup Conversations | Getting Better | Uncertainty | Grief | Time Heals All Wounds | Trauma | Attachment | Distraction vs. Processing | TV Marathons | Rorschach | Crying

This week we’re interviewing Dr. Liz Powell, psychologist, speaker, and author of our favorite book on non-monogamy, Building Open Relationships. We touch on polyamory struggles, love as a verb, and creating the relationships you want, among other things! Building Open Relationships | Jealousy | Desire-Based Approach | Breaking Up | Downleveling | Hierarchy | Flexibility | Boundaries | Perfect Poly | Fucking Up | Monogamy Mindset Hangovers | Soulmates | Real Love | Transference

Truth or dare? We DARE you to join us this week for a discussion of sex games: different types, ways to play them, and why they might be beneficial. Travel Exhaustion | Why? | Mass Market Games | Excuses | Dulcinea Pitagora | Competition | Game Development | Strip Scrabble | Video Games | Roleplay | Reward vs. Punishment | Consent | Sex Dice | Truth or Dare | Intoxicants | Who Would You Fuck? | Gamification | Protocol | Habitica | Sticker Chart | Skill Equity | Group Sex | Making a Game | Dating Sims | OMGyes | Question Box

This week Bex interviews his friend and roommate, sex educator and queer pirate Jo Goforth, about finding identity through fandom, positive representations of masculinity, and their new sex ed comic, among other things. Coworker Chart | Union-Busting | Fandom | A Song of Ice and Fire | X-Men | Black Sails | Resonant Characters | Quicksilver | Cosplay | Musketeers | Jake Peralta | Positive Masculinity | Queer Representation | Queer Utopia | Trans Generations | Transphobia | Coming Out | Shifting Orientation | Introspection | Sex Talk Comic | Trans Sex Ed

We’re back to smash more romantic myths this week! Hear our takes on unconditional love, jealousy, internet relationships, and more. Femme Multitasking | Someone For Everyone | Commitment | Love Conquers All | Unconditional Love | Who’s the Man? | Center of Your Universe | Obsessed | Online Relationships | Jealousy | Political Views | Cheaters | Bodily Functions | Sharing a Bed | Dressing Up | Leagues

There’s so much bullshit discourse about dating and relationships out there, so this week we’re busting romantic myths! Hear us debate first-date protocols, compatibility adages, gender stereotypes, and more. I Love You | 3rd Date | 3 Days | Hard to Get | Preserving the Mystery | Attachment Style | The First Move | Who Pays? | Mentioning Exes | Opposites Attract | Conflict | Love at First Sight | First Date | Self-Love | Happy Wife | Going to Bed Angry | Persistence | Bad Relationship Material | Virgins

Kate recently came out as demisexual, so this week we’re discussing that identity: what does it mean, how does it manifest, and how does it relate to other concepts like sluttiness, responsive desire, and demiromanticism? Definitions | Romantic vs. Sexual | Identities | Oppression & Invisibility | Sex Industry | Attraction or Lack Thereof | Demiromantic | External Factors | A New Development | Dating Apps | Mid-Day Dates | Casual Sex | Anticipation | Romantic Topping | Responsive Desire | Sluttiness | Sex Dreams | Submission | Asexual Outreach

Safer sex protocols don’t have to be boring or a mood-killer! Today we’re diving into our thoughts and feelings on condoms, dental dams, STI testing, and more. TARDIS | STI Panels | Compromise | Gloves | Elevator Speech | Pushback | Contraception | Cum | Myths | Condom Skepticism | Internal Condoms | Condom Tricks | UTIs | Gloves | Fertility Tracking | Vasectomy | IUDs | Dental Dams | Fucking Trans Women | Safer Sex For Trans Bodies | Kissing

Step back in time with us and let’s discuss 1950s household dynamics! Hear us weigh in on why this style of D/s is hot, complicated, and even potentially empowering. Paradigms of Power | Definition | Reclamation | Feminism & Choice | Modesty | Satisfaction | Mastery | Closeted Kinksters | House-Husband | Drag & Glamour | 24/7? | When You Don’t Live Together | M/s Language | Polyamory | Media Influences | Baby Steps | Clothes & Makeup Recs | Cultural Skills | Cocktails

Home is where the heart is, and also (often) where the sex is! This week we’re discussing the ways home decor can interplay with your sex and dating life, from beds to lighting to lube dispensers. Suction Cup Dildo | Easy Access | Lube | Condoms | Beds | Smart Home | Hospitality | Art | Air Conditioning | Partner Pics | Between Partners | Amenities We Like | Celebrity Pillows | Lube Dispenser | Nursery Dungeon | Rope Storage | Bex’s Fundraiser | For Hire: Audition | Question Box

Ever noticed how sometimes you can say a lot without saying anything at all? This week we're discussing the delicate art of non-verbal communication – in flirting, sex, kink, and more! Blushing | Skill Level | Reading Into It | Body Language | Proximity | Queer Intimacy | Cheating | Non-Verbal Consent | Pleasure | Overanalyzing | Cultural Influences | Saying No | Dysphoria | Screw Consent | False Negatives | Signs of Readiness | Kinky Invitations | Bex’s Fundraiser | Touchy-Feely? | What They Do | Crushy Voice | Subspace | Safewords | Practicing Expressiveness

Bex just got back from TES Fest, a thought-provoking kink conference in New Jersey. This week, he recaps what he learned there, and we discuss some kinky fantasies that the workshops brought up. Hotel Privacy | DM Training | Blood Play | Raven Kaldera | Risk Assessment For Masters | Real Service | Head Pats | Knives & Scarification | Sadism | Interrogation | Facial Torture | Mind Games | Drug Play

Getting the ball rolling is hard sometimes, so this week we’re discussing the intricacies of initiating sex. What are the best and worst ways to do it – and what should you do if there’s an initiation imbalance in your relationship? Do We Initiate? | Direct vs. Indirect | When Does Sex Start? | Pre-Initiation | “Hey, We Should Talk” | Butt-Rubbing | Personal Space | Allusions | Responsive Desire | Escalating Touch | Other Senses | Massage | Rushing | Foreplay vs. None | Arousal vs. Consent | Imbalance | Power | Rejection | Saying No | Gender Socialization | Submissives | Circumcision Status

We’re talking about body mods this week: tattoos, piercings, and how they interplay with our sex and dating lives. Tune in for tattoo advice, kinky feelings, and tales of piercings gone awry. One vs. Multiple | Lay of the Land | Sexy Feelings | Nipple Piercings | Cravings | Ownership | Kink | Roleplay | Partner-Specific Mods | Meaning | Regrets | Deciding | Designs | Finding an Artist | Visibility | Tatcalling | Needle Play | Branding | Disclosure | Impact | Asking Permission | Kinky Meanings

Happy Pride month! This week we’re discussing our favorite and least favorite things about Pride, from tutus and play parties to biphobia and cops. NYPD | First Events | Outfits | Play Party | Gatekeeping | Cops | Grassroots vs. Corporations | Professionally Queer | Pride Sex | Creeps | Consent | Kink | Your First Pride | Bringing People | Naked Boys Reading | Queer Liberation March | Fake Male Assistant

Up, up, and away: this week we’re discussing our sex drives! What is the libido, what stokes it, what tempers it, and what can you do when yours doesn’t match your partner’s? Where’d It Go? | What Is It? | Responsive Desire | NRE | High/Medium/Low | Never Enough | Sex Begets Sex | Sex Industry | Boosting Desire | “Just Do It” | Testosterone | Toning It Down | Mismatches | Environment | Antidepressants | Asexuals | Polyamory | Talking to Doctors | Kink Drive | Punch in the Gut

Do you see what I see? This week, we’re discussing the visual aspects of sex, and how the acts of looking and seeing (or not) play into our sexuality. MakeLoveNotPorn | Attraction | Arousal | Nudes | FaceTime and Skype | Eyes Closed | Anxiety | Enthusiasm | Watching | Romantic Sex | “Look At Me” | Fear Play | Helen’s Toybox | Blindfolds | Onoir | Glasses | Men vs. Women | Cultural Bias | Lighting | Phone Sex | Sex Spreadsheet

Take a deep breath now: it’s time to discuss sex smells (and tastes)! We divulge our fave and least fave olfactory experiences during sex, our thoughts on our own smells and tastes, and more. How Important? | Mismatches | Artificial vs. Natural | Hormones | Preparation | Tasting Yourself | No Deodorant | Favorite Spots | Perfume: The Story of a Murderer | Bad Smells | Fantastical Fetishes | Dry Mouth | New Merch

This week we’re discussing what it means to be “good at sex” – physically, mentally, and otherwise. Blowjob Skills | Good At Sex? | Bad Chemistry | Communication | Knowing What You Want | Rhythm | Uncool | Comfort | Enthusiasm | Bad At Sex? | “Did You Come?” | Too Much Pressure | How to Improve | Porn & Cosmo | Are We Good? | Generosity | Room For Improvement | Notifications | Endurance | Impostor Syndrome | Ableism | Sex Hacks | Not Vocal | Signals | Bottomy Subs

You asked, we answered: in this episode, we discuss queer etiquette quandaries, from pronouns to flagging to threesomes. Femme Flirting | Pronouns | Misgendering | Pre-Transition Photos | A Date? | Coming Out As Kinky | FWB Feelz | Workplace Flagging | Friend’s Ex | Fetishwear | Sex Party | Threesome

This week Kate invited her partner Matt onto the show for an interview about sadism, hypnokink, productivity domming, and other aspects of their relationship! Dating a Podcaster | Topping For Catharsis | Sadism | Reassurance | Programmer Brain | Taking Notes | Sex Spreadsheet | Phone Sex | Hypnokink | Protocol | Productivity Domming | Sex Toys | Travel Sex | Sex Apps

Warm up those vocal cords – this week we’re discussing sex noises! Hear us pontificate on our favorite and least favorite sounds, the best erotic audio mediums, and how we learned to let loose. Dudes | Feedback | Porn Audio | Solo Sounds | Active Listening | Learning | Gender | Performativity | Guidance | Factors | New Noises | Voyeurism & Exhibitionism | Favorite Sounds | Body Noises | Distractions | Memories | Bad Sounds | How to Start | Erotic Audio | Phone Sex | I’m Deep Throat Podcast | Forced Silence | Sub Missives

Happy (early) 4/20, stoners! This week is our annual Highpotheticals episode: we’re gettin’ blazed and asking each other weird questions about sex, dating, and masturbating. Enjoy! Smoking Fetish | 3 Questions | Sex Toy Brands | TV’s On | Toys Personified | Cartoon Orgy | Famous Band | No Vibrators | Fictional Universe | Time Machine | Face Mask | Dong/Schlong/Wang | Shower vs. Floor | Sploshing | Silence | Pokémon | Sex Robot

This week we’re digging into the comfort and excitement we glean from rituals and protocols! Hear us explain why we love these kinky traditions. Creatures of Habit | Listener Email | Protocol vs. Ritual | Pre-Date Rituals | Deciding Together | Too Many | Conference Protocol | To-Do List | Long-Distance | Airport | Day-to-Day | Service | Food | ‘50s Housewife | Daily Blowjob | Cleaning | Headspace Transition | Topping | Collars | Punishment | Public Play | Conflict | Check-Ins | Switches | Names | Personal Development

We talk so much about sex that sometimes we forget to discuss non-sexual touch! In this episode, we’re getting into the fine points of cuddling, hugging, wrestling, foot rubs, and other types of not-explicitly-sexy touch. Hug Rejection | Wrestling | Dates | Touch Starvation | Gender Dynamics | Touch Barrier | Aftercare | Cuddle Parties | Goal-Oriented | Foot Worship | Feet & Gender | Family | Professional Cuddling | Nuzzling | Massage

This week we’re busting more shitty sex-negative myths! Hear our hot takes on libido imbalances, biphobia, STI stigma, and more… Stereotypes | Sex Toys | Simple Dicks | Foreplay | What is Sex? | Sex Drive | Bisexuality | Changeable Orientation | Flagging | D/s Stereotypes | Mollena Williams | American Sex Podcast | Older Adults | Joan Price | STIs | Ella Dawson | Boners & Wetness

It’s time for us to bust some sex-negative myths! Hear us take down the concepts of virginity, slutty loose vaginas, and immoral masturbation, among others. Open Vag | Loose | Hymen | Virginity | Pain | Sexual Skill | Sex Too Early | Self-Respect | Premarital Sex | Wedding Night | Masturbation | Relationships

We’re already basically in love, but this week we decided to ask each other the 36 questions recommended by psychologist Arthur Aron for falling in love with a stranger. Romantic friendships for the win! Dinner Date | Fame | Phone Anxiety | Perfect Day | Singing | Mind or Body | Secret Hunch | Commonalities | Gratitude | Childhood | Life Story | Quality or Ability | Crystal Ball | Ambitions | Accomplishments | Friendship | Memories | One Year | Love & Affection | Positive Characteristics | Family | Sharing | Must-Knows | Admiration | Embarrassing Moments | Crying | Jokes | Regrets | Fire | Death | Advice

There's penetration, and then there's PENETRATION. This week we're discussing some of the more advanced ways you can stick stuff in your holes, like using huge toys or perhaps more than one! Top of the Rock | Limits | Tipping Point | Double Trouble | Fisting Kink | Masochism | Fisting Workshop | Size Training | VixSkin Randy | “Progress” | Sliquid Silk | Sutil Rich | Tips & Tricks | Glass & Steel | Pain | Getting “Loose” | Dick Extenders | Size Queen | Communication | Double Penetration | Threesome Jokes | Dick Shape | How to DP | Fleshjack Dildos | Tantus Uncut | Two in One Hole | Muffing | Sounding

This week we’re discussing breath play, one of the most controversial categories of kink acts! Choking and smothering and facefucking, oh my… Examples | Jay Wiseman’s Risk Assessment | RACK | Andre Shakti | Savage Love Column | Mouth-Covering | Solo Play | Boundary-Crossing | “Vanilla” Kink | Conditioning | Fear Play | Endurance | Intimacy | Facefucking | Alley | Topping | Sadistic Facesitting | Tickling | Laughter | Trampling | Orgasm | Smoking | Dominance | Water | Collar | Corset | Communication

Ah, crushes: bane of our existence, light of our lives. This week we're discussing how we handle crushes, both unrequited and perhaps-requited. And also Kate talks to herself for a few minutes in the middle because of a tech mishap. Coworkers | First Crushes | Compatibility | Idealization | Fun | Unattainable | Traits | Unrequited | Motivation | Self-Improvement | Getting Over It | Dime | CBT | Compliments | B99 | Bipolar | Ruts | Leading Them On | Kink | LTRs | Mating in Captivity

Feeling smitten and also kind of like your brain's gonna explode? Sounds like New Relationship Energy! This week, we're discussing the pleasures and perils of NRE. Hypomania | Duration | Frequency | Obsessive Thoughts | Exhaustion | Annoying | Journaling | Listening | Non-Relationships | Altered State | Two At Once | Dopamine | Slow Start | Love | Casual Love | Jealousy | NRE-Killers | Dealbreakers | Demiromantic | Demisexual | Imbalance

Ready to get thoughtful and a bit heavy? This week we’re discussing our mental illnesses – depression, hypomania, anxiety, and more – and the ways they intersect with sex, kink, and dating. Sex Drive | Bipolar Type 2 | Mania | Consent | Safe, Sane, & Consensual | Hypersexuality | Responsive Desire | Dysphoria | Thought Spirals | Performativity | Trust | Crying | Self-Harm | Hello Cruel World | Carly Boyce | Harm Reduction | Masturbation | Altered State | Check-Ins | Compatibility | Low-Pressure Intimacy | Depressed Doms | D/s

What does it mean to be compatible with someone – for love, sex, friendship, or all of the above? This week we're discussing the concept of compatibility in all its many dimensions!

This week we're talkin' strap-on sex! Harnesses, dildos, technique, fantasies, pleasure, and more...

Your sexual fantasies are an incredibly intimate window into your soul, and that's the topic of this week's episode! Find out what we fantasize about, why, and how.

This episode is short and silly because we were both too sick to think! We discuss our best and worst sex of the past year, assess how we did on our 2018 sex goals, and set new ones for 2019. Illdorks | Best Sex | Gender Euphoria | Sadists | Best Kink | Dry-Humping | Cocks | Just One More | Worst Sex | Challenging Assumptions | Sexual Identity | Pleasure | CBT | Relaxing Sex | Topping & Domming | Submission | Apologies | No Expectations | Hypno-Topping | Roleplay | Pickup Artists | Storytelling

What kind of year did you have, sex-wise? That’s the topic of this goofy, uncut (lolol) episode where we wrap up our 2018 and touch on what we’d like to try next. No Second Takes | Gender | Phone Sex | Spreadsheet | Number of Partners | Dating??? | Locations | Hotel Sex | Rope Suspension | Sexperiments | Watersports | Kink Satisfaction | Bootblacking | Hypnosis | Kicking | Femdom | Being Stepped On | Wax Play | Tickling | E-Stim | Subspace | Roleplay | Flirting | Vixen Gambler | Uberrime Night King | Building Open Relationships | Love’s Not Color Blind | Mind Play | The Artist & the Pervert

Once “Where do babies come from?” has been asked and answered, obviously the next question to tackle is: “Where do kinks come from?” This week, we’re theorizing on the origins of kinks! Japanese Whiskey | Narnia | Kinks As Hobbies | Breaking Bones | Authority Figures | Trauma | Baking | Childhood | Samuel Hughes’ Kink Identity Development Theory | Perception vs. Identity | Born This Way? | Velvet | Winking | Conditioning | Cultivating Kinks | Getting Rid of Kinks | Giving Someone a Kink

As it’s holiday time, this week we’re discussing whether or not you should ever buy someone a sex toy, our fave and least fave toys we’ve received as gifts, and our top tips for getting through the holidays. Christmas Music | Should You? | How to Know | Impact Toys | Favorites | Worst/Weirdest | Gifts for Anyone | JeJoue MiMi | Sex Nerds | Kinksters | RodeoH | Thanks, I Hate It | GenderCat | NYTC Carter | Holigays | Going Home | Buddy Up | Introversion | Walrus Piece | Trends Like These

We have lots of feelings 'n' fantasies about objectification, whether the sexual kind or the kind where you literally take on the role of an object. This week we discuss this contentious kink! Fucktoy | Sexual vs. Literal | Favorite Toy | Holding Still | Exhibitionism | Service | Human Furniture | Cum | Sex Doll | Humanity | Voyeur | Implements | Loving vs. Degrading | Enough to Make You Blush | Kneeling in Spirit | Outfits | Reclamation | Topping | Oral Servitude | Dicks | Baseball | Feminist | Dominants | Aftercare

While together in Toronto, we sat down for a discussion of platonic kink! Find out what it is, why we like it, and how to partake of it responsibly. Reasons Why | Non-Sexual Enjoyment | Low Pressure | Context | Emotional Topping | Jealousy | Non-Monogamy | Impact | Arousal | Negotiation | Aftercare | Crying at a Party | Post-Breakup Comfort | Aftercare Dad | Rope Suspension | How to Ask | Service | Little Space | Sports

Get out your leather boots, straitjackets, and stethoscopes: it’s time to talk about fetish objects! This week, we discuss some of our fave sexualized possessions, and the role they play in our fantasies and sexcapades. Leather Belt | Fetish vs. Kink | Talismans | Corset Fetish | “I Wish I Was…” | Boots | The Slave | Bootblacking | White T-Shirts | Suits | Sleeves Rolled Up | Pantyhose | Bible | Leather Care | Associations | Service | Underwear | Latex | Masks | Posture Collars | Heels

Hold your horses: this week we’re talking about orgasm control! We discuss forced orgasms, chastity, abstinence, and various other facets of this fascinating kink. Definition | Fanfiction | Consent | Asking Permission | Power | Signposts | Chastity | Sex vs. Kink | Pre-Sex Abstinence | Forced Orgasms | Beginner Tips | Mindfulness | Solo Play | Abstinence Movements | Conditioning | Quiet | Multiple Partners | Orgasm Difficulties | Funkit Toys IndieGogo | Dildorks Tote Bag

Take a peek inside our minds as we discuss voyeurism! Learn about ways we've explored this kink, why we find it hot, and what voyeuristic fantasies we hope to live out. Porn | Watersports | Consent | Interest | Play Party | Introversion & Anxiety | Voyeurism for Beginners | Closet Photographer | Subtle Signals | Ghost Sex | Fake Sleep | Group Sex | Trust | Service Bottom | Sunglasses | Dark Odyssey | Sex Clubs | High Masturbation | Getting Caught | The Marketplace | Sex Doll | Teaching & Learning | Adding D/s | In Public | 2 Voyeurs

Happy Halloween! This week we’re discussing fear play: what it is, why we like it, and what kinds we want to try. Scary Movies | Fear | Trust | Roleplay | Knives | Hook-Ups | Anxiety | Humiliation | Confrontation | Eye Contact | Njoy Eleven | Nipples | Body Mods | New Kinks | Intoxication | Aftercare | Predator/Prey | Vampires | Bullying | Naked Heart Festival

Friend of the show Dick Wound, of the Off the Cuffs and Being There podcasts, joins Kate this week for a goofy discussion of intense kinks ranging from knives to piss to sweat! Dude From the Internet | Knife Play | Fear Play | Death | Off the Cuffs | Kink Origins | Balloon Fetish | Sweat & Smells | Food | YouTube | Vomiting | Watersports | “Basic Bitch” Kinks | Impact Play | Being There Podcast | Recording Setup | Why “Dick Wound”?

This week we're bustin' some myths about our fave relationship style: polyamory! Hear us get sassy about hierarchy, infidelity, stigma, and more... Hierarchical vs. Not | Solo Poly | Not Serious? | Sluts | Sex at Dawn | Cake | Failure | Break-Ups | Cheating | Whoever You Want | Synced Cycles | Ersties Podcast | Getting Permission | Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell | “I Could Never!” | Jealousy | Processing | Distraction | The 8-Armed Octopus of Jealousy | Comparisons | Orientation? | Building Open Relationships | Poly Role Models | Poly Land | I Am Poly and So Can You! | Love’s Not Color Blind

Got a flair for the dramatic? This week we're rolling out our thoughts on roleplay: why we like it, what kinds we like, and whether or not it’s a strictly sexual thing for us. Psychology vs. Sensations | Cultural Narrative | Flirting | Bullying | High School | Taboo | Non-Sexual Kink | Riddle Club | Flow State | Homework | Hysteria | Con Non-Con | Massage | Outsmarting | A Month’s Worth of Phone Sex

School is back in session, so we’re discussing sex ed! Find out what we learned about sex in school – and what we learned, um, elsewhere. Skipping Health Class | Gender Segregation | Anatomy | Gender | Shame | Consent | Doug Ford | Emotional Maturity | Kink | The Clit | Books | Erotica & Fanfiction | Cybersex | Eavesdropping | Podcasts | Bear Bergman | Emily Nagoski | Allison Moon | Dr. Liz Powell | Andy Izenson | Aida Manduley | Mollena Williams-Haas | Sinclair Sexsmith | Caitlin K. Roberts | Sunny Megatron & Ken Melvoin-Berg | Takeaways | Uproxx List

You asked, we answered! This week, we address listener questions on topics ranging from awkward set-ups to platonic kink to dancing dilemmas. Hope this helps! Unsolicited Advice | Vanilla Set-Ups | Dating While Kinky | Toy Storage | Hiding Toys | Toy Cleaning | Platonic Kink | Friends with Benefits | Polyamory Stigma | It’s Called Polyamory | Building Open Relationships | Poly Role Models | Dominant Anal Play | Grinding | Professor Crush

Impact play has left quite a mark on us! This week we discuss why we like pain, how beginners can get into spanking, and the answers to all your burning questions about hittin' and bein' hit. Pain Slut | Thuddy vs. Stingy | Psychological Motivations | Topping | Floggers | Lexan Paddles | Sweet Spot | Weal & Breech | Pervertibles | Punishment Spankings | Safe Areas | Communication Tools | Bruises | Self-Spanking | Phone Sex | Workshops | Thin Walls | Chronic Pain | Testing Implements | Russian Bears | Face-Slapping | Vulva-Slapping | Kicking | What to Say | How to Take More Pain

Sexting is a truly modern sex act. This week we discuss our favorite sext-initiation methods, secret screenshot-ogling, and most treasured emojis, among other sextual topics! No Limits | Access Need | Jumping the Gun | Consent | Casual vs. Dedicated | Screenshots | Selfies | Limitations | Words | Yes/No/Maybe List | Keeping It Fresh | Fantasy vs. Desire | No Babies | Violet Blue’s Book | Aftercare | Read Receipts | Sexting Prompts | Roleplay | Professional Sexting | Predictive Text | Emojis

This week we’re reflecting on butt stuff in all its delightful forms: anal sex, rimming, butt plugs, and more! Girth Enthusiasm | Butt Barometer | Pain | Nausea | Physical vs. Psychological | Vulnerability | Beginner Tips | Asking For It | Mess & Prep | Topping | Njoy Toys | Tantus Uncut #1 | Condoms & Lube | What If You Don’t Like It? | Double Penetration | Rimming | Spanking | CockyBoys | Danny Wylde | Butt Plug Shoes

This week, we revisit one of our fave topics: hand sex! We describe how we’re feelin’ about fingers and fists these days, and then answer listener questions about hands-on pleasure.  Hand Puns | Dysphoria | Morning Handjobs | Fisting | Vixen Randy | Sliquid Silk | The Butters | Assumptions | Surprise! | Skills to Practice | Positions | Infinity Gauntlet | Fleshlight Quickshot | Tenga Eggs | Foreskin | Long Nails | Hand Pain | Asking for Lube | Roleplay | Hysteria | “Taking Too Long” | Other Hand

It’s back to basics this week, with a discussion of oral sex! Find out how we feel about giving head, getting head, rimming, and other mouth-centered pleasures. Blowjob-Friendly Lipsticks | Sex Ed Workshops | Dysphoria | Aslan Jaguar Harness | BJs As Aftercare | Dommy BJs | Hysterical Literature | Receiving | Threesome Fantasies | Eye Contact | Blowjob Porn | Rimming | Samantha Fraser | “You Only Live Once” | Surprise Rimming | Deepthroating | Heather Harmon | Criticism | Receiver Skills | Dirty Talk | Sliquid Swirl | Liberator Jaz | 8 Fellatio Fears

It's our 100th episode!! We celebrated by taking one of those weird 100-point purity tests to determine which one of us is sluttier. Any guesses?! Accountability | Who’s More Pure? | Dates | Dancing | Kissing | Positions | Birthday Hickeys | Strippers | Drinking | Drugs | Caressing & Fondling | Manipulation | Sauna-ing | Intercourse | Lube | Butt Stuff | Sex Workers | Masturbation | Exhibitionism | Crossdressing | Giveaway

Here's our live show from the 2018 Woodhull Sexual Freedom Summit! We discussed the fine art of romancing sex bloggers, from DM-slides to consent practices to sex toy reviewing. Assumptions | To Flirt or Not to Flirt? | Flirty Fans | Mistakes | “Hi” | Consent Issues | Manic Sexy Dream Person | Negotiating What Gets Shared | Sex Toy Reviewing | Tinder Wingwomen | Peepshow Toys | The Butters | Coming Out as a Sex Blogger | Voices | Uncomfortable Questions | Unsafe Toys | Outlets in Tents | Different in Person

Let’s talk gender, folks! This week we’re discussing masculinity, femininity, why they’re good, why they’re bad, and how we hope to see them change. Crop Tops | Gender Roles | Chivalry | Public Kink | Masculinity | Non-Binary | Public Bathrooms | Bowties & Snapbacks | Pain & Power of Femininity | Brendon Urie | Jack Harkness | Flamboyant Men | Brooklyn Nine-Nine | Toxic Masculinity | Consent & Desire | Toxic Femininity | Internalized Misogyny | The Future of Gender | Split Peaches | Binders | Body Hair

This week we’re discussing the intersections between group sex, public sex, and exhibitionism! Find out how to navigate a play party, what constitutes an orgy, and what group-sex activities we hope to try someday.  Dildo Expulsion | Tapping Out | Gangbangs | Orgy Threshold | MGS | Negotiation | Spin the Bottle | Anxieties | First Times | Goofiness | Play Party Etiquette | Scheduling | Getting Consent | Saying No | Fisting | Jerkception | Advice | Kink vs. Sex | Spanking Motivations | #GroupSexGoals | Risk of Getting Caught | DP | Teaching

We're joined this week by the lovely Marcia Baczynski, speaker, writer, coach, and sexual communication expert! We touched on consent, flirting, long-distance dominance, and much more. Good Girl Recovery Program | Field Guide to Consent | Flirting | Topping Without Toys | Punctuation | Saying the Big Scary Thing | Sharing vs. Negotiation | Vibrator-Shaming | Operator’s Manual | NRE | Desires

What sex acts do you consider underrated? This week, we’re rhapsodizing the unsung heroes of our sex lives: fingerbanging, the thigh grind, making out, and more! What Counts As Underrated? | Eva from “What’s My Body Doing?” | Tinder | Making Out | The Thigh Grind | Thigh Harnesses | Knee-Dicks | Dry-Humping | Teasing & Sneaking | Roleplay | Hand Sex | Fisting | The Butters | Flaccid Dicks | Toys | Masturbating Together | Nipple Play | Dildo BJs

Sometimes your sex life is about the sex you’re NOT having… This week we’re discussing dry spells, celibacy, and other sexless situations! Sexting & Phone Sex | Longest Dry Spell | Tinder, Etc. | Craving Sex | Date Activities | Sex Distress | Trans Stuff | Masturbation | What Helps? | Sqweel | Sex Education | Toy Reviewing | Deliberate Celibacy | Sexperiments | Introversion | Asexuality | Incels | How to Become More Attractive

This week we’re picking the brain of writer and kink educator Sinclair Sexsmith! We touched on punishment, protocol, confidence, consent, and so much more. Power | Protocol | Check-Ins | Punishment | Submissive Playground | Consequences | Fears | Debriefing | Palette of Permission | Confidence | Receiving | Learning | Wheel of Consent

What does it mean to “come out” and why is it important to us? This week we’re telling our coming-out stories and discussing the intricacies of this rite of passage. Definition | Co-Optation? | Being Out | Bi Erasure | Kink | Biphobia | Trans | Poly | Partners | Mental Illness | Tattoos | Regrets | Advice | Parental Support | Paving the Way | Irrelevance

This week, Bex is chatting with YouTuber and kink sexpert Pup Amp and educator and queer historian Pup Dane about their mutual interest: puppy play! Getting Started | Basics | D/s Dynamics | Pup on Pup | Play & Silliness | Headspace | Gear | Bondage | Hypnosis | Chastity | Scent | Training | Treats | Bonding | Studies | Community | Pun Game | Compatibility | Collars | Breeds

This week Kate is joined by DJ Pynchon, blogger, author, and erotic hypnosis enthusiast, for a lively discussion about hypnotic amnesia, winking kink, and lots more! Mind Play | Media Influences | Puns | Misconceptions | Negotiation | Hypnotic Amnesia | Consensual Non-Consent | Company Name | Ethics | Therapeutic? | Face-Slapping Induction | Inductions | Scene Structure | Aftercare | Fractionation | Self-Hypnosis | Going Blank | Winking Kink | Hypnowink | Hot Sauce | Kinky Trifles | MindQuake

Bex has been on testosterone for a whole year! This week, Kate interviews him about how his body, brain, and sexuality have changed over the past year. Greedy | Deciding to Start | Self-Injecting | Coming Out | Mania | Genital Growth | Body Hair | Fat | Face Shape | Body Smells | Social Energy | Assertiveness | Anger | Voice | Orgasms | Attractions | Porn | Fantasies | Advice

This week, we're having a risk-aware discussion of sex and altered states: doin' sex and kink stuff while drunk, high, sleepy, and more. Find out how we navigate these complex states and the scenes we like to incorporate them into! Consent Issues | Agency | Negotiation | High Sex vs. Drunk Sex | Trance | Consensual Non-Consent | Suggestibility | Pain | Masturbation | Harder Drugs | Sleepy Sex | Arousal Non-Concordance | Little Space

This week, we answer the question: how do you communicate well, and with love? Find out our “love languages,” our best tips for giving good compliments, and why we hate unsolicited advice from Twitter strangers. Communication Degree | Clarity | Empathy | Active Listening | Compliments | Love Languages | Problem-Solving | Texting | Strangers

Bex just launched his new porn store as Billy Lore, so this week we’re talking about making porn! What’s fun about doing cam shows? Which porn stars do we admire? How did we pick our porn names? Tune in to find out! ManyVids Store | Porn Names | CherryStems | Hella Positive Pinup | Spit | PervCave Productions | Dip Films | Ciné Sinclaire | Apprehensions | Crash Pad Series | Bonus Hole Boys | QueerPorn.TV | Tina Horn | Beautiful Agony | Desirability | Exhibitionism | Cam Shows | Performativity | Cute Asshole | Jerking Off to Yourself | Dream Scene

CONTENT NOTES for this episode: consensually roleplaying as a little girl, little boy, daddy, mommy, or siblings; incest roleplay and actual incest; child abuse; adult baby roleplay and diapers; teenage sex; consensual and nonconsensual bullying; nonconsensual spanking; student and teacher roleplays; coerced sex; prison; homophobia and homophobic slurs; drunk sex; high sex; rape fantasies This week we're discussing a complex and controversial kink: age play! Find out why we think it's hot, some of the ways it can be problematic, and what extra emotional safety measures we recommend for these types of dynamics. Taboo | Incest | Bullying | Trauma | Spanking | Shame | Content Warnings | Nurturing | Corruption of Innocence | Puberty | Girl Bullies | Psychology | Break-Ups & Aftercare | Not My Ageplay | Regression | Other Littles | Mommy Doms | Events

It's our traditional yearly 4/20 episode! Hear us get blazed and debate the merits of clone sex, impact toys as zombie murder weapons, and whether or not we'd fuck Buzz Lightyear, among other things. Clones | Zombie Apocalypse | Sex Toys | Googly Eyes | New Kinks | Muffins | Parents & Porn | Aliens | Monsters, Inc. & Toy Story | Workshops | Ideal Porn Scene

This week we’re gigglin’ with sex blogger Mx Nillin about their ingenious blog series “Mx Nillin Fucks,” wherein they masturbate with various weird objects. This conversation was so fun! Girl Cock | Mx Nillin Fucks | Apple Pie | Teddy Bear | Safety | Absurdity | Peanut Butter Sandwich | Pool Noodle | Lube | Jell-O | Hard Limits | Clone-a-Willy | Tom of Finland Dual Dicks | Future Ambitions | Woodhull Sexual Freedom Summit

This week we’re talking with Dawn Serra, sex educator, sex and relationship coach, and founder of the Explore More Summit! We chatted about parenting, play, self-acceptance, and more. Explore More Summit | Watersports | Curiosity & Play | Barbara Carrellas | Sex-Positive Parenting | MakeLoveNotPorn.TV | Karen BK Chan | Sinclair Sexsmith | Coming Out | Self-Love & Diet Culture | Interviewing | Fun

In part 2 of our sex educator FAQ, learn how to get good at dirty talk, how we got so confident talking about sex, and what the Dildorks TARDIS would look like, among other things. American Idiot | Squirting | TARDIS | Dirty Talk | Yes/No/Maybe List | Sexting | Confidence Journey | Spicing Things Up | Normal | Sensate Focus BJ | Dark Odyssey | AltSex

This week we’re answering some sex-educator FAQs! Hear our Hot Takes on butt stuff, deepthroating, and dick size, among other things… “Educate Me” | Convincing a Partner | Disclosures | The Best Sex Toy | Invasive Creeps | Butt Stuff | The Butters | Njoy Pfun | Fun Factory Bootie | Tantus Neo | Dick Size | BigDickProblems | How to Orgasm | Deepthroating | 4/20 Episode

Negotiation is a crucial kink skill, and this week we’re sharing our best tips! Find out our fave questions to ask, common negotiation pitfalls, and how to navigate awkward pre-scene discussions. Vanilla Negotiation | Trans Folks | Negotiation Cheat Sheet | Mid-Scene | Contracts | Blame Someone | Options | Kink Voices | Limits | When Scenes Fail | Marks | Aftercare | Doms’ Needs | Fave Questions | Going Nonverbal | Pausing | NobEssence Seduction | Tantus Uncut #1 | “What Are You Into?” | Time Constraints | Dark Odyssey

This week we’re giving you our two cents about financial domination, cash fetishism, and sugar daddies! Find out why we’re into these kinks, how you can play with them, and how to navigate awkward money situations on dates. Why Are People Into Cash? | Paying For Dates | Cheap Dates | Findom | Sugar Daddies | Bank Balance | Presents | Cash | Money Anxiety | Peepshow Toys | Cissplaining | Furniture | Con Sched | Phone Sex | Ace in the Hole

We just got back from the Playground Conference in Toronto! Find out what we learned from the sessions we attended, what conference protocol is and why we like it, and what kinds of sex we had at the con! Cum-Covered Clothes | Opening Plenary | Overwhelm | Kevin Patterson | Turning Fantasies Into Realities | Psychology of BDSM | Polyamory & Masculinity | Intersectional Dating | Blowjobs | Ask a Sadist | Live Show | Protocol | Marco Polo | Con Sex | Aftercare | Tote Bag

Here’s the live show we recorded at the Playground Conference in Toronto! We talked about sex and travel: which toys are our suitcase must-haves, how we handle TSA snafus, why we love hotel sex so much, and more! Hellish Bus Ride | Bag of Dicks | Travel Locks | We-Vibe Tango | Tenga SVR | Crave Vesper | TSA Tips | Njoy Eleven | Packers & Collars | Tindering on the Road | Sexpectations | Protocol | Hotel Sex | Sex Work Stigma | Anxiety | Fisting Day | Discreet Toys | TENS Unit

This week Kate interviews porn legend Joanna Angel, of the Burning Angel Empire, about her new venture: a choose-your-own-adventure erotic novel, Night Shift! We talked masturbation, erotica ethics, tattoos, and more. Authorly Ambitions | Porn Scripts | Book Feedback | Night Shift | Varied Voices | Trucker Culture | Masturbation | Consent | Rachel Kramer Bussel | Sex Vocabulary | Pegging | Tattoos | Doom’s Whiskey

Not all sex toys live up to their hype! This week we discussed some of the most overrated toys on the market, why they suck, and how they could be better. #SexToyReviewerLyfe | Toy Hype | Stronic Eins | Rabbit Vibes | We-Vibe Nova | Magic Wand | TooTimid.com | Discreet Sex Toys | Pink BOB Lust Silicone Rechargeable Wand | Pink BOB 10-Function Silicone Anal Plug | Sybian | Cowgirl | Beginner Kink Toys | Couples’ Toys | We-Vibe Sync | VixSkin | Njoy

This week we talked to Kevin Patterson from Poly Role Models, a blog about the diversity of experiences and identities in polyamorous communities. We touched on jealousy, compersion, poly screw-ups, and more! Poly Role Models | Caribana Threesome | Cautionary Poly | Customer Service | Edu-Dating | Communication | Identities | Poly & Race | Love’s Not Color Blind | Thick Skin | Masculinity | Growth | Flirty Energy | Jealousy | Steven Universe | Compersion | Definitions | Playground Conference

Relationships between kinksters and vanilla people aren’t inherently doomed! This week we discuss navigating these mixed-orientation connections: how to make compromises, assuage fears, and communicate clearly. Kink Without Sex | Service | Vanillas vs. Kinksters | Tickling | Inner Monologues | Why Do You Like That? | How to Get a Vanilla Person to Spank You | Media Hints | 50 Shades of Kink | Playing Well With Others | Gateway Kink | Scat Story | Check-Ins | “Into Everything” | Crying | Creativity | Baby Doms

This week we tackled some questions from listeners (and one from Kate). Hear us weigh in on cultivating a desire to masturbate, sex party etiquette, unpacking toxic masculinity, and more! Reid Mihalko | Barista Crush | Masturbation Motivation | Repopulate Your Sexual Fantasies | Erogenous Zones | Erotica | Toxic Masculinity | Sex Science | Play Parties | Non-Monogamy

(NOTE: We've opted to leave this episode up because we still think the info in it is valuable – but we have heard the recent accusations levelled against Reid, and we believe them. We'll discuss this in more detail next week.) We were so excited to talk to one of our fave sex educators this week, Reid Mihalko! He’s a communication mega-nerd like us, so we discussed flirting, consent, body language, and more. Sex Geek T-Shirts | Shame Literacy | Family Dynamics | Shame Party | Sluts vs. Musicians | Marvel Comics | Safer Sex Elevator Speech | Difficult Conversation Formula | Speed-Flirting | Embrace the Awkward | Power Disparities | Meta-Communication | Body Language | 50 Hot Ways to Ask For Consent | The Truth | Racism | Ruining the Moment | Dating Newbies | Wine Glass

For our 69th episode, we discussed the contentious sex act of 69ing! Find out why we usually don't like it, which factors make us like it better, and what other reciprocal sex acts we dig. Sex Robots | 420 | Distraction | Twitter Poll | Romantic Sex | Power Exchange | Positions | Insecurities | Overwhelm | One-Sided | Kink Game | Reciprocality | Dominant Bottom | From Above | Fuck 69 | Choking

Happy new year, babes! This week we took stock of how we did on our 2017 sex goals and set some new ones for 2018. Hear about dates we went on, good and bad decisions we made, and what kinks we want to explore this year. First Orgasms | New Year’s Eve | Kink Events | Quality Over Quantity | Dates | Twitter | Fisting | Vulva Stuff | Porn | Teaching | Intentions | Hypnokink | Being Loaned Out | Bootblacking | CBT | Forced Orgasms | Sexy on Camera | Dom Side | Dissociation | Body-Shaming | Consistency | Comfort

Did your 2017 sizzle or fizzle? This week's our year in review: we discussed our best and worst sex of the year, our favorite locations in which we banged, and the new kinks we picked up along the way. Sex Spreadsheet | Not Enough Sex | Permission to Come | Kink Katamari | Types of Pain | Locations | Group Sex at Camp | Partners | Romantic Kink | Bad Sex

Happy holidays, dorks! Here's an episode about navigating this festive season as a weirdo/queerdo. We discuss wintertime traditions, family snafus, and the importance of jerkin' it as the year "comes" to a close. Festive Fucking | Christmas Music | Feast of the 7 Fishes | Holiday Kinks | Traditions | Baking | Birthday Blowjob | Stressturbation | Over-Gendering | Poly Quandaries | Self-Care | Field Reports | Liberal Bigots | Party Buddies | Baby It's Cold Outside | Wholesomeness | Service Sub | Switchiness | Playground Conference

We're bringing our A-spot A-game this week to talk about the little-known anterior fornix erogenous zone! Find out how we discovered this spot, how we like ours touched, and what toys work best for this task. UTI | A Vs. G | Dr. Chee Ann's Study | Vixen Outlaw and Maverick | "Press Here For Orgasm" | Length Fantasies | Instructing Partners | Fingerbanging | Cervix | Orgasms | Overstimulation | Firm Vs. Squishy | Double Trouble | Snake Dick | Perfect Dick | The Dildork | Straight Men | Size Anxiety | Half-Asleep | Standard Glass S-Curve | Glamour Piece | 2nd Clit

Bex is sick this week so Kate is joined by her brother, Max Bornstein, drummer for garage rock band Goodbye Honolulu and co-founder/director of Toronto label Fried Records. We chatted about touring, dating fans, and our deeply embarrassing creative collaborations. Radio Free Calamity | Goodbye Honolulu | Introversion | Sideboard | No Chill | Fox Martindale | Dating Fans | Gene Simmons | Approaching Band Crushes | Disagreements | Ass | Our Mom | Impressions | Snapchat Nudes | Stealing | Cavern Show | Missy Bauman | Sexy Music | Everybody Loves Raymond | Sex Myths | Fried Records | Inspirational Songstress

Things are about to get messy: this week we discussed sexual fluids! Find out our thoughts and feelings on cum, piss, blood, sweat, spit, and all manner of other lascivious liquids. Earwax | Drinking Piss | Power | The Devil's Deal | Facial Etiquette | Creampies | Bad Date | Blood | Period Sex | Spit | Sweat | Body Smells | Pheromones | Vomit | Sweaty Sex | Boots | Natural Harvest

We were both in a real weird mood this week and it shows. Whoops. Enjoy this mess of an episode about gratitude, recent aggravations, and life as a Sex Person. Pizza & Video Games | Spanking | Listener Appreciation | Sex Friends & Vanilla Friends | Thank You | Gift-Giving | Reaction Anxiety | Hobbies | Buck Angel | Misgendering | Phone Sex | Feedback | Morning-After Text | Dating Your Species | 50 Hot Ways to Ask For Consent | PizzASMR

This week, a civil discussion of sexual labels devolves into a rant about bisexual erasure before your very ears! Find out what labels we do and don't use, how our identities have shifted over time, and what rage-inducing things people say and do to bisexuals. Validity | SuicideGirls | Coming Out | Gender Shifts | Super Gay | Binary | "Not Queer Enough" | Self-Erasure | Boyf | Double Standard | The Power of Dick | FYI, Still Bi | Label-Free | Sapiosexuality | Kink Identities | Non-Monogamy | Carpet-Munching Bitch

Our guest this week is Princess Kali, author, former pro domme, and erotic humiliation expert! We chatted with her about the appeal of humiliation play, how to approach it thoughtfully, and why some people love being humiliated. Organization | Enough to Make You Blush | Creativity | Emotional Language | Negotiation | Cultural Context | Scene-Starter Deck | Topping From the Bottom | Small Penis Humiliation | Body Image | Therapeutic Kink | Kink vs. Abuse | Tips for Doms | Aftercare | Collaboration | Kink Academy

This year for Halloween, we watched the scariest thing we could think of: Fifty Shades of Grey! Get your hands on the unrated version and watch along with us – or just listen as we complain about the coerced consent, food thievery, and bad accents in this nightmare of a movie. (Sorry for those few minutes of silence around 46:00 where we had connection issues! Feel free to skip past 'em.)

Friends with benefits: a fantastic idea, often poorly executed! This week we're discussing FWBs: how to find one, how to keep one, why they're great, and ways these copulationships can go horribly wrong. Solo Poly | Sexual vs. Romantic | Time & Trust | Easy Sex | Intimacy | Same Page | 10 Commandments of Successful FWBs | Comfort | Casual Love Letter | Ruining the Mood | How to Find a FWB | Negotiation | Attraction | Off the Cuffs Podcast | Informed Consent | Messy Endings | DM Slides | Condom BJs

We're showing off our cunning linguistics this week and talking about dirty talk! Find out about Kate's passion for porn captions, Bex's boner for aloof doms, and our favorite and least favorite filthy words. Yes/No/Maybe List | Diligent | Absentmindedly | Filthy | Power Exchange | Affirmation | Mental Stimulation | Porn Language | Bottom Guilt | Submissive Dirty Talk | Come For Daddy | Napoleon | Moist | Horny | Jizz | Boner | Sweetheart | Faggot | Pathetic | Fingerbanging | Pussy | Slave | Squirm

We were so excited this week to talk to Lynsey G, journalist, author, and porn critic! She chatted with us about how porn has changed, how amateur porn affects the industry, what kind of porn she likes best, and more! Porn Critic | DVD Reviews | Improvements | Feminist Porn | Porn Awards | Amateur Porn | MakeLoveNotPorn.TV | "Watching Porn" | Sex Toy Reviewing | Plzur | Tom of Finland Dick | Chemistry | Tristan Taormino | Negotiation | Sex Ed | Porn Around the World | Mickey Mod

First dates: so fun, so scary, so rife with potential! This week, we discuss what makes a good first date, the best and worst ones we've been on, and whether sex after a first date is a good idea. Spreadsheet | First First Dates | Family Names | Awkwardness | Asking | Date vs. Not | Best Dates | Activities | Conversation Starters | Passions | Sex | Flirting | Good Sex Predictors | Negotiation | Alley Makeouts

Orgasms! We love 'em. You probably do too. Hear all about our first orgasms, what gets us off now, and how testosterone is changing Bex's orgasms, among other climactic tidbits! O: The Intimate History of the Orgasm | Firsts | JoEllen Notte | Partnered Sex | Testosterone | Grain of Rice | Tenga SVR | Multiples | Build-Ups | Urban Tantra | Edging | Denial | Blue Clit | Over the Edge | Spreadsheet | Different Types | Consistency | Hacks

This week we sneezed and grumbled our way through a discussion of exhibitionism. Find out why we like showing off and why we don't – and why we occasionally fake our orgasms! Consent | Validation | Fisting | Storytelling | Anxiety | Authenticity | Fake Orgasms | Noises | Laughter | Voyeurism | Threesome | Looking | Winks | Enthusiasm | Body Parts

This week we're joined by Sunny Megatron and Ken Melvoin-Berg, kink educators and fellow sex podcasters! We talked with them about humiliation, clowns, and much more. It's also our one-year podcastiversary, so we reflected on our fave memories from a year of Dildorks! Sick Voices | #BirthdayBruises | Anniversaries | 4/20 | Cunnilingus | Our Brand | Nude Dicks | Online Dating | Bex-isms | Dream Guests | Dr. Nerdlove | Dirty Talk | American Sex Podcast | ROUGH BS | Dark Odyssey | Humiliation | Clowns | Play Theory | Fear | Negotiation | Aftercare | Editing | Impostor Syndrome | Best Friendz 4Ever Giveaway rules:-Open only to residents of the U.S. and Canada-Tag @TheDildorks in a tweet containing a favorite moment or quote from a Dildorks episode and a link to the episode-You can do this up to once a day until September 20th

Kink is an important aspect of our friendship, even though we don't have sex with each other. Find out what kind of kink stuff we do, how it helps us, and how to handle platonic kink in your own life. Our Average | Definitions | Sexual vs. Romantic | Masturbation Coach | Platonic Sexting | Fetish vs. Kink | Skill-Building | Self-Care Domming | Daisy Ducati | Too Intense | Subspace | Noises | Benefits | Aftercare | Wiggly Eyebrows | Alley Hookup | BirthdayBruises | Bex's Wishlist | Erotic Massage

We sat down with the delightful Claire AH, of Tell Me Something Good and Friend of a Friend Matchmaking, to talk about sexy storytelling, making matches, and life after her stroke. Tell Me Something Good | Bawdy Storytelling | Bad Spanking | Story Ethics | Glad Day Bookshop | Braces | Confidence | Andrew Gurza | Stroke | Orgasm Changes | Fatigue | Natalie Rose | The Ultimate Guide to Sex & Disability | Rehab | Qualitative Data | Matchmaking | Queer Priorities | Physical Attraction | Ghosting | Sex City Radio | Content Notes

We're both pretty subby, but we have some feelz about dominance. Find out the difference between topping and domming, what sex acts make us feel toppy, and what we enjoy about bossing people around. Topping vs. Domming | Kink-sey Scale | Partner-Dependent | Vanilla Sex | Gender Differences | Suz | Toppy Fantasies | Facesitting | Empathy | Spanking | Fisting Lessons | Caretaking | Overstimulation | Beating the Stigma | Being the Bad Guy | Mental Health | Difficulties | Blindfold | Buddy Comedy | Aftercare | Debriefs | Switching | Performativity | Surprise | Bruise Pictures

We just went to the Woodhull Sexual Freedom Summit and had some Thoughts and Feelings! Hear about our favorite and least favorite sessions, the weird/cool sex stuff we got up to, and the new toys we got! BLM, NAACP, and Beloved Community Charlottesville | Live Show | Whiteness | Femme As Fuck | Keep Giving a Fuck | The Height of Luxury | Body-Safe Toys | Shame & Perfectionism | Why Does He Do That? | Fisting | Spanking Party | Hotel Layout | Sleep | New Things | Doxy Die Cast | Pure Plug 2.0

We recorded this episode live at the Woodhull Sexual Freedom Summit! Find out our best tips for attending conferences: how to meet people, learn things, and take good care of yourself! Playground Conference | Sex Blogger Summer Camp | Approaching People | Twitter | Nina Hartley | Information Processing | Rest | Spreadsheets | Expectations | Self-Care | Jiz Lee | New York Toy Collective | Oral Loving | Collar | Regrets | Con Drop | Outreach | Advertising | Meeting Fans | Edutainment

This week we sat down with our friend Suz, a sex blogger, unicorn, and online-dating aficionado. She told us about her best and worst threesomes, gave some group-sex advice, and shared her Tinder secrets! Threesome Math | Dick Video | Bloody Panties | Fi(r)st Time | Worst Time | Sex Movies | Power Dynamics | Best Time | Put Your Mouth On It | Boundaries | Unicorn Hunters | Football Team | Tinder Tips | Feminism | Neglected Unicorn | Group Flirting | Negotiation | Patreon Nudes

This week we sat down with our friend Taylor J Mace, blogger, educator, and sex worker! They told us the nerdy strategies they use to plan group sex, some tips for attending sex parties, and thoughts on playful domination! Anal Fisting | Intense Talkers | Hotel-Room Orgy | Spreadsheets | Privacy | Feelings | First Time | No Expectations | Going Solo | Condom Fairy | Playful Domination | Dom Stereotypes | Consent | Yes/No/Maybe List | Punishment

This week we get wild and talk about edgeplay: kinks that kinda terrify us, but in a hot way. Find out what we find compelling about knives, piss, consensual non-consent, and a plethora of other pervy deliciousness. Rekinkarnation | Taboos | Humiliation | Knives | Open Source Sex | Fantasy vs. Reality | Watersports | Service | Embarrassment | Enough to Make You Blush | Anxiety | Consensual Non-Consent | Rape vs. Ravishment | Ageplay | Feminist Partners | Shame | Facials | Chill Partners | "What Do You Want?" | Pegging | Forced Feminization | Cocksucker's Mirror

Our passion for penises knows no bounds. In this episode, we discuss all things dick: our first schlong sightings, our current criteria for commendable cocks, and our favorite things to do with wangs. This one gets a little porny, folks! BJ Cast | High Passion | All Dicks Are Good Dicks | Surprise! | Sementics | Dick vs. Cock | First Time | You Show Me Mine | Envy | Anxiety | Technique | Responsiveness | Dick Rating System | Mouths & Butts | VixSkin Mustang | Foreskin | Dicksperiments | Turtles | Clit Pump | Facefucking | Bex's Patreon | Yelling Into the Void

Ah, the wonderful and complex world of non-monogamy! This week, we get nerdy about polyamory. Find out how we realized monogamy didn't work for us, which resources taught us about poly, and what the hell we do with all our feeeeelingz. Polynormativity | Choosing Monogamy | Proto-Kate | Solo Poly | Monogamous Exes | Unnatural Rules | Labels | Freedom | Disclosure | Jealousy | Reid Mihalko | One-Penis Policy | Femme Competition | Orientation vs. Behavior | Dashboard Light | Feeling Feels | Distractions | Scheduling | Pressure | Communication | Life on the Swingset | Opening Up | More Than Two | Jealous Listener | Compersion

What the heck is sex-positivity and why does it matter? This week, we discuss the sex-positive movement: its advantages, its criticisms, and how to live a sex-positive life. Pride Glitter | Definitions | Safe vs. Risk-Aware | SwedenManatees | Sex is Fun | Sex Nerd Sandra | Vanilla-Shaming | Opposition | Kinks vs. Behaviors | Callouts | Beacon of Permission | Sex Shops | Sexual Attitude Reassessment | Asexual Erasure | Self-Shaming | Testosterone | Cake-Sitting | Live Recording at Woodhull

Happy Father's Day! Let's talk about Daddy Doms. Find out how we realized we were into Daddies, how we deal with weird feelings around this taboo, and how we feel about people calling us Daddy! Coffee Dom | Pup vs. Little | Nice Dominance | Lawyer Prof | Why Are People Into Ageplay? | The Big Little Podcast | Ageplay | Little Space | DD/lg and Pups vs. Poly | Incest?! | Vanilla Daddy | Daddy Feelz | Honorifics | Toppy Bex | Dad Costume | When Kink Isn't Fun | Sub Stereotypes | Gender-Bent Daddies | Rosa Diaz | Productivity Domming | Solo Kink | Daddy Issues | Bex's Dentist | Chameleon

We were thrilled this week to chat with Andre Shakti, sex educator, sex worker, and sex journalist. She gave us advice on managing jealousy, meeting metamours, and getting fisted for the first time! I Am Poly and So Can You | Vocabulary & Context | Therapists | Jealousy | Metamours | Femme Competition | Compersion | Humanization | Strap-On Workshop | Sex Down South | Fisting | Cathartic Crying | Black Dragon Nitrile Gloves | Sliquid Sassy | Inflatable Toys | Fist Dildos | Wonder Woman | Magic Wands

Fanfiction is a wonderful exercise in imagination and perviness! Find out our favorite fic pairings, our thoughts on the ethics of real-person fic, and why we wanna make out with Gregory House and Jake Peralta. Testosterone | Grindr | Rachel Kramer Bussel | Nerve Endings | Bones | Harry Potter | Brooklyn Nine-Nine | House, M.D. | Real-Person Fic | Cumbersmut | Stephanie Beatriz | Supernatural | #DildorksFic? | Good Fic | I'll Know My Name As It's Called Again | Enthusiastic Consent | Bad Euphemisms | If Stanley Tucci Were Your Boyfriend | Nightstand Necessities | Holtzmann | New Kinks | A Cure For Boredom | Fic

Maaan, we really like making out. This week we're talkin' about kissing. Find out which Indiana Jones movie underscored Bex's first kiss, what improv has to do with kissing, and whether good cunnilinguists make good kissers. Ziti Siren | Indiana Jones | Report Card | Spin the Bottle | Passion | The Thigh-Grind | Koala Nest | Contact Improv | Lip-Biting | Casual Kisses | Oral Sex | Bad Kissers | IKEA | PDA | Trapped Gazelle

This week we're chatting with Stella, a sex-savvy, queer, kink-positive, badass astrologer. They taught us how our star charts inform our sex lives, relationships, and even our business partnership! Skepticism | Sun, Moon, Rising | Antisocial Scorpio | Service | Spreadsheets | Poly Boundaries | Libra Logic | Flirting | Bossy Sub | Taurus & Virgo 4Ever | Luxurious Masturbation | Too Many Ideas | Transcendent Kink | Clit Instructions | Gender Essentialism | No Chill | Introspection | Dom Cat

Happy belated Mother's Day, y'all! This week we're talking about how our childhoods and parents influenced our sexuality. And, bonus: Kate interviews her mom about masturbation, boys, and celebrities! DD/lg | Fellati-eww | Pleasure | Books | TMI | Anatomy | Equality | Acceptance | Butts | Bath Faucet | Sex Therapist | Sexagenarian Superbabe | Feminist Hero | Boy-Thirsty | White Wine | Funny Weirdos | Goodbye Honolulu | Meeting the Parents | Break-Ups | Celebs | Kink Newb

Aftercare is an oft-overlooked part of kink, but a super important one! This week we discuss why aftercare matters, how we like to do it, and what happens if we skip it (hint: bad stuff!). Pajamas | Altered State | Distance | Poly Partners | Debriefing | Chocolate | #BirthdayBruises | Little Space | What Do You Need? | Kink Savasana | Dissociation | Casual Kink | Mike Tyson Mysteries | Tops/Doms | Potatoes | Crying | 7 West | Massage | Inopportune Subspace | Piercings | Zipline

We went to the Toronto International Porn Festival and it really pissed us off, y'all. Here's our episode-long rant about the consent issues, organizational problems, and ethical snafus at the porn fest. Oh, and a few good things happened too, I guess. Feminist Porn Awards | The Best Porn of the Last Decade | Trans Entities | Sexing the Transman 3 | Morgana Muses | Crash Pad Series | Rough Sex 2 | Best Slumber Party Ever | Liberté Sexuelle | Ciné Sinclaire | Disorganization | Spit | Gay Stuff | T-Slur | Non-Consent-y Jokes | Bloodplay | Lelo Hex Condoms

This week we’re talkin’ shop with Kenton, lead fucksmith at Funkit Toys! Find out how silicone toys are made, what’s in the works at Funkit, and what inappropriate question people always ask Kenton at cons. Genderless Toys | Paddles | Customer Feedback | Ideas | Silicone | Signet | Dream Toys | Glass | Toymaker Brain | “Is That Your Dick?” | Tantus Plunge | Plagiarism | “Revolutionary” Toys | Versatile Implements | Bruises | Theme Songs

This week is 4/20 so we decided to get high and ask each other goofy hypotheticals. How do you suck a 6-foot dick? What are our desert-island dildos? And which two Beatles would be the best threesome buddies? Podcasting High | #DildorksLive | Magic of Editing | Dick-Sized Persons | Sex on Food | Grocery Store | Edible Toys | Cheese | Labia-Swappin' | Good Pups | Gender Constructs | Beatles | Subby Wolf | Podcast-Married | Musicals & Video Games | Cis Man-ception | Warrior's Burial | Lightning Round | Risky Dick Texts

Why are people so terrified of "ruining the mood" during sex? This week, we investigate alleged mood-ruiners, like consent conversations, technique criticism, and laughter. Spoiler alert: if the mood is good, it's hard to ruin! Silent Sex | Hard Conversations | Yes, And... | And Then What? | Laughing | Consent | Redirects | Princess | Safer Sex | Reid Mihalko's Elevator Speech | Escalation | Compliment Sandwich | Positive Feedback | Check-Ins | Bad Music | The "Gloopy" Story | Body-Shaming | Gender Weirdness | Take the Leap | Phone Calls | Pre-Negotiation | "Did I Say You Could Stop?" | Labels

Porn makes great jerk-off fodder, but it's also so much more than that! This episode, find out why Bex doesn't really watch porn, why Kate's mom is a sex-positive superhero, and why we both get hard and wet for authenticity. Consumption Styles | Porn vs. Fantasies | Gagging | Heather Harmon | Bushes & Butches | Kate's Mom | Audio | Authenticity | Dylan Ryan & Danny Wylde | Educational Porn | Feminist Porn | Toronto International Porn Festival | MindGeek | Bad Oral | Nina Hartley | James Darling | Uncut Dicks | Funkit Toys | Creative Kink | Agreeable Agony | KinkMachineWorks | Stockroom

This week we're joined by smart, savvy sex educator Dirty Lola! We chat with her about ethical polyamory, what makes someone a slut, and why Bill Nye needs to host a sex ed show. Sex Ed A Go Go | Bill Nye | Sharing Details | Unfollow Me | Poly Tips | Sluttiness | Sex Matters | Science Experiments | Online Dating | #SlutProblems | Non-Disclosure | Sex Geeks | Condom Tailor

Today we discuss the much-debated G-spot! Why does Bex find big muscles hot? Why do Kate's partners not even know where her G-spot is? And how do we deal when we unexpectedly squirt all over everything? Prehensile G-Spot | Is It a Thing? | Magic Button | Clit Stim | Squirting & Spurting | Pelvic vs. Pudendal Nerve | Emotional Bonding | A-Spot | Njoy Eleven | Pure Wand | NobEssence Seduction | Fling | Mustang | Maverick | Comet Wand | Hard & Fast | Muscles | Jimmyjane Form 4 | Liberator Throe | External G-Spot | Sexual Debuts

As per usual, we're enthusin' about enthusiasm! Find out the strangest sex compliment Bex ever received, what Kate's boobs have in common with Mario the plumber, and why tourism induces better sex. French Fries | Picky Sluts | Blowjob Quests | Authenticity | Desirability | Passion | Before, During and After | Anxiety | Compliments | Out-of-Towners | "Thank You" | Overenthusiasm | Contact Improv | Asking | Cat Tongue | Patreon | Synonyms

Service isn't just unpaid labor; for us, it's a kink, too! In this episode, find out how cleaning can be hot, what craft beer has to do with kink, and whether semen is a good reward... Helpful & Useful | Is It a Sex Thing, Tho? | Falling In Kink | Vanilla Confusion | Anxiety | Structure | Threesomes | What Should I Do? | The Marketplace | Sexual vs. Nonsexual Service | Remembering Preferences | Taking Pain | Giving Head | Kink-Negging | Cum | Verbal Praise | Surprise & Delight | Boundaries | Unreasonable Requests | Nerve Endings | Good Girl | Star Signs | Solo Masochism

This week we're joined by our buddy Brent "Brentalfloss" Black, game dev, YouTuber, and podcaster extraordinaire! We found out what sex jokes he had to cut from his forthcoming party game, which sex toys he hates, and what celebrity impressions he likes to do during sex. Trends Like These | Sex Nerds | Pavlovian Arousal | Dildos | Jar of Horrors | Use Your Words | Censoring Jokes | Clit Humor | Punching Up | Taylor J. Mace | Impressions | SoloFlesh | Cobra Libre | Sex Enchantress | Shitty Games | Giggly Sex | Sister Christian | Sex Criminals | Sex-Nerd Homework | Fruit Bowl

There's more to selling sex toys than you would think! This week, retail guru Bex shares their cock-hawkin' wisdom with retail noob Kate. Find out how we deal with creepy customers, what we wish our stores carried, and why coworker crushes are fantastic. Organizing Seeds | Late For The Interview | Emotional Labor | Self-Care | MiMi Soft | Form 2 | Sensuelle Joie | Tango | We-Vibe Sync | Magic Wand | Money | Turbo Glider | Iroha Mini | Porous Toys | Rechargeables | Gimmicks | Creeps & Boundaries | Fuze Dildos | Tantus Uncut | Sliquid | Lube Spills | Seedy Gay Sex Shops | Coworker Crushes

Flowers and chocolate are so played out, but does Valentine's Day still have any value? In this episode, we ruminate on romance. Find out what Bex's fourth-grade suitor bought them, why Kate just doesn't "get" romantic sex, and how menstrual cramps made us both ponder romance. Robo-Bex | Valentine's Day | Dog People vs. Cat People | Platonic Romance | Comfort & Consistency | Grand Gestures | Perseverance | Romantic Attraction | Making Love | Kisses | Menstrual Woes | Flowers | Cowboy Boots | Pokémon | Pure Plug 2.0 | Aslan Minx Harness | Fifty Shades | Romantic Confessions | Thoughtful Gifts

Human attractions are mysterious phenomena! In this episode, we unpack what draws us to people and what repulses us. Why is Kate doomed to date game devs forever? How does Bex weigh good dick against bad politics? And why do our feelings on dweeby blazers differ so drastically?! Pillow Forts | High Sexts | Physical vs. Mental | Improv Crushes | Sartorial Appropriateness | Tinder Bros | Beauty Standards | Game Devs | Bad Politics | Bad Spellers | The Meaning of Monogamy | Spot of Delight | Inappropriate Crushes | Fantasy-Ruiners | Unexpected Feelings

Humor is one of the most popular traits people look for in a partner, and in this week's episode, we talk a little bit about why. Find out if we think laughing during sex kills the mood, why Starbucks will always make Bex think of failed cunnilingus, and what exactly is a dom-edian? Attraction to Humor | Humor & Intelligence | Talk Flirty to Me | Humor Masking Vulnerability | Improv | My Brother, My Brother and Me | Flavors of Funny | Laughing During Sex | BAMF Threesome | Coach Bex | Giggly Kink | Dom-edian | Mark Hamill Joker | Contagious Laughter

This week we're joined by Cooper S. Beckett – author, podcaster, relationship coach, and swinger! The three of us chatted about being publicly sexy online, navigating consent with the people we write about, and the various personas we juggle. Swinging Resources | Sharing Experiences | Crista Anne | Breaking the Social Contract | Anxiety & Depression | Sex Is Fun | Kissing Kidder | Pseudonyms | Shyness | Sex Is Political | Writing About Partners | Wear It Like Armor | Intimacy Imbalances | Personal Evolution | Women's March

Ever wonder which sex toy marketing trends we want to light on fire and banish to hell? In this episode we rant about the toy-marketing tropes that really rustle our jimmies. Find out which companies we hate, which ones we admire, and why a penis tuxedo provoked the ire of sex toy reviewers worldwide. Sex Toy Retail | JeJoue MiMi Soft | Gendered Lube | Big Manly Dildos | Dehumanizing Language | Fleshlights | Butch Fun | Womanizer | Lelo Pino | Hot Octopuss Pulse | Grungy, Sleazy Sex | "Better Than The Real Thing" | Topco's "Fucked" Line | Problematic Kinks | Infomercial Products | Racial Fetishization | Dick Tux | Sensual Tux Man | Lifestyles Tuxedo Condoms | Orgasm Guarantees | Satisfyer | Pure Wand | "Innovation" | Lelo Condoms | Little Chroma | Funkit Toys | PicoBong Transformer

Our hearts are all a-twitter over the fine art of social media flirting! In this episode, we share tips for communicating interest in timeline posts and tweet-sized chunks. Find out why Bex loves giving flirting advice, how Kate met her fave FWB on Twitter, and why tweet-liking is our favorite secret flirt code. Pungle Cruise | Flirting Mind Palace | Courtesy Swipes | Dr. Nerdlove | Facebook Flirting | Strategic Tweet-Faving | Sliding Into DMs | Creeping Selfies | Adding Value | Read the Room | Conversation Skills | Red October | Cognitive-Behavioral Strategies | Creepy vs. Direct | "Is This a Good Time to Flirt With You?" | Self-Deprecating Humor | Flirt Fetishist | Oversexualization | Uber Eats Driver | Yes, That's the Joke | Subtweeting | "Utterly Smokingly Hot" | Pigtail Patterns | Puppies!!!

How did we come so far (and so many times!) without talking about masturbation?! In this episode we wax poetic about whackin' off. Find out how we fumbled our way to our first orgasms, what we fantasize about mid-wank, and what Mr. Incredible has in common with a Hitachi Magic Wand. Jerking Off | Elbow Sex | God's Plan | Religious Fisting | How Many Fingers? | Homejerk | Puberty Book | Extra-Long Baths | There's That Hole! | Hot Dog Bun | Glass Dildo | Mustang, Maverick & Uncut | A-Spot | Tantus Tsunami | The Incredibles | Time Crunch | Shopping While Hungry | Being Walked In On | Sex Playlists | Eroscillator | Interruptions | Masturbation Vs. Partnered Sex | Non-Linear Fantasies | Double Trouble | Exhibitionism | Liberator Throe | Sexting | Sex Shops

2017 is looming and we're doing our best to stay cocktimistic. In this episode, we discuss our sex goals for the coming year, and how we plan to achieve them. Find out why Kate is stepping back from dating for a while, what Bex hopes to have done to them in front of an audience, and why we both need to stick our faces in some vulvas real soon. Comics as Spanking Implements | Sunstone | Promiscuity and Empathy | Cockadile Hunter | Bipolar II | Love Addiction | Social Anxiety | Magic Wand | Pangea | Submit | Cakehole | Katamari Damacy | One-Night Stands | Kate McKinnon | Queerness | Fisting | Age (It's More Than a Number) | VULVAS | MakeLoveNotPorn | Flogging | Public D/s | Suspension | Profesh Goalz | Woodhull | AltSex Conference |  MySpace | Kissing

Kate and Bex bring us a 2016 round-up the only way they know how: by talking about all the times they got fucked the way 2016 fucked us all. Hear their most vital sex stats, including how many people they fucked, where they boned them, and how often they came. Find out what sex act Kate only realized she was into this year and hear about how Bex realized they were a pup. They discuss the parts of their life that cockblocked them the most this year and even brainstorm what a Dildorks drinking game might look like! Sex Spreadsheet | Defining Sex | Sex Stats | One-Night Stands | Locations | Threesomes | BJ Epiphany | Butt Virginity | Skype Sex | Alleyway Makeouts | Surprise Doms | BJs | New Kinks | Puppy Play | Pup Erotica | Terrible BJs | Orgasm Report Cards | Robotic Sex | Sex Standing Up | Sixty-Nine |  #IUDiary | Skyla | Dildorks Drinking Game

OkCupid and Tinder are garbage fires, but occasionally you can find a diamond in the trash heap. In this episode, we give you the low-down on online dating: our favorite sites, our successful and not-so-successful dates, and our best tips for better matches. Plus, find out how Bex managed to have a threesome on a first date, and why Kate's one-night stand from Minneapolis sent her an apology a month later. Tinder vs. OkCupid | South Park | Show, Don't Tell | Compatibility Percentages | The End of Tinder | You Should Message Me If... | Conversation Starters | Obscure References | Kink Hints | Manic Pixie Dream Bean | Sex-Nerd Chats | Fizzling Out | An Excess of Cis Dudes | First-Date Threesome | Long-Term Ex | Unfeminist Ex | The Uber of Sex | "Makeouts, Etc." | Proofread Your Shit | Tutu to the Symphony | First-Message Formula | Pet Names | Commonalities | Tinder Guys With Tigers | Swipe Right For Dogs | Group Shots | Ace Ventura | Queer Apps | Social Media As Motivation

It's time for us to talk smack about smackin'! Let us regale you with tales of Bex's birthday spanking party, Kate's mid-bang spanking lesson, and the saddest paddlin' either of us has ever participated in. We also tell you our favorite toys to hit people and get hit with! (Content note: this episode contains a minute-long discussion of self-harm at the 37:30 mark, and mentions bruises throughout.) Early Morning Podcasting | Rainbow Bagels | #BirthdayBruises | Teaching Vanilla Boyz to Spank | 1-10 Scale | Suz | Face-Sitting | Platonic Spanking | Tantus Pelt | Good-Dick Garbage-Human | Punishment vs. Reward vs. Service | Tinder Tops | Gateway Kink | "That Girl on NCIS" | Ducky Doolittle | Sadists | Subspace | Kinkmergency | Enthusiasm | Mental Health | The Saddest Spanking Party | Bruises on a Bus Ride | Jillian Keenan | Bruises | Spit Scene: Good Girl | Pervertables | Sex with Shakespeare | Bible Paddle | Lolita | Book of Erotic Fantasy | Stay Paddle | Leather and Lattes | Stone Crop | Taylor J Mace | Kink Machine Works

Sexting isn't all hot commands and flowery prose: there's a visual element too! This week we pontificate on sexy selfies. What makes for an exceptional nude? Why are dick videos superior to dick pics? And why did we once snap a boob selfie together on a rainy highway in Wisconsin? Tune in for the naked truth! Trust & Vulnerability | Smiles | Disembodied Torsos | Strap-On & Wink | Selfie Sticks | Butt Selfie Tips | Selfie Yoga | Signature Poses | MySpace Angles | Suz's Butt | Artificial Cleavage | Renaissance Painting Nudes | Boner Through Underwear | Jeans Unbuttoned | "Cute Boys" Folder | Critique My Dick Pic | Hand For Scale | Dick Videos | Consent | Slow-Mo J.O. | Inanimate Sexy Pictures | The Boss Fight of Nudes | Reacting to Nudes | Slut-Shaming | Dicks in Blankets | "I Found a Fork!" | Snapchat | Pornkémon

This week we get into the nuts and bolts of sextual communication! We discuss our sexting origins, the sext etiquette we wish everyone would follow, and the best and worst sexts we've ever received. We also weigh in on controversial issues like emojis, autocorrect mistakes, and the benefits of read receipts. Furcadia | Runescape | Princess | Strongman Finger | Social Intelligence | Yes, And... | Sexting as Negotiation | Sexting and Anxiety | A-Spot | Getting Your Partner's Cheat Codes | Etiquette | Read Receipts | Initiating Sexting | Stone Crop | Proofreading Sexts | Word Choices | Emojis | Is That An Order? | Threesome Dreams | Smuggling a Potato

What what, in the butt?! Bex and Kate talk about that not-so-taboo-anymore taboo, butt stuff. We regale you with first-time anal sex tales, debate the merits of planned anal versus the spontaneous approach, and enthuse about butts ad nauseum (duh). We also rep our favorite anal toys, lubes, and ways of integrating kink into butt stuff. And, surprise: we both wore butt plugs throughout the recording of this episode! Asshole Politicians | Diving Into Butts | Pure Plugs | Sex Toy Semantics | Marijuana Changes Lives | G-Spot Comparisons | Mr. Universe | #DPursuit | "Naughty" & Taboo | Anal on the First Date | Vibe Pairings | Enemas | Oreos & Coffee | Pain & Pleasure | Planned vs. Spontaneous | Post-Sex Eats | Doin' Stuff to Other People's Butts | Super Gay | Sex-Nerd Brain | Tantus Uncuts and Ryder | Cam Shows | Lelo Bob | Fuze Plugs | Best Friend Butt Plugs | Uberlube & Sliquid | The Buttsex Cowboy | Small-Town Lube Shopping | Tinder Dudes | "Njoy Your Day!" | Thigh Tattoos | Butt Counterpoint

Is PIV really a thing anymore? Kate asked that very question in a recent article, and now she and Bex explore that idea even further. They discuss  their first times, their best times, and the times it's disappointed them. They also tackle the big questions: Does size matter? And what do you do when dicks just don't stay hard??? First Times | Simultaneous Orgasms | High Fives | Positions | Harry Potter | Standing Up Sex | Orgasm Faces | Dirty Talk | A-Spot Dicks | Mindfulness | Dick Size | Mustang | Maverick | Boner Problems | Threesomes | Vibrators During Sex | Tango | Hitachi | Connection | Goal-Oriented Sex | Condoms

Handjobs aren't just for high schoolers! In this episode Bex and Kate discuss all the reasons they love hand sex, some of their favorite hand sex stories, and their hand sex fantasies. Find out all the places they've been fingered (and want to be), why, once again, Kate has clit opinions while Bex cares very deeply about their G-spot, and the reasons they both so desperately want to be fisted. Eye Contact | Public Hand Sex | B99 Fan Fiction | Magic Wand Rechargable | Musician's Fingers | Kate's Clit is a Diva | A-Spot | Internal Clit | Dirty Talk | Orgasm Control | Wrestling the Little Monster | Good Girl | Fisting | Microflex Gloves | Sliquid Soul | Southern Butter | Good For Her | Pjur Lube | Uberlube | Funkit Signet | We-Vibe Tango | Crave Bullet | Hello Touch | Rainbow Paddles | Reid Mihalko | Tristan Taormino | Escalator Model | Sex Down South

As the companion to the popular BJ episode, Bex and Kate sit down to discuss something they're considerably less excited about: cunnilingus. They each tell the story of the first time they ever received oral sex, and how their opinions have changed on it over time. They also discuss their anxieties around both giving and receiving, and what people can do to make cunnilingus really enjoyable for them. #DildoHoliday | Playground Conference | Taylor | Cunnilingus Preferences | Good Dick Garbage Human | "Treat My Clit Like A Dick" | Shame | Anxiety | Periods | Sex Lab | Fingering | Queer Imposter Syndrome | House | American Horror Story | The OC | Liz | Dominant Cunnilingus | Sex Down South | WOCSHN | Andre Shakti | Positions | Sinclair Sexsmith | Fire Play | Orpheus Black | Dr. Ruthie | Lovingly Objectified | Pay Me Hat

This is it! FINALLY! The episode we've you've been waiting for! Kate and Bex get a tiny bit intoxicated and geek out about their all time favorite subject: Blowjobs! We finally explain why we love them so much, talk about our favorite tips and tricks, and get very, very giggly. Find out why Kate was once told she gives "the cashmere of BJs," listen to Bex talk about the kind of dick that makes them make terrible decisions, and finally learn what it means to have a "good BJ dick."     Inebriation | Boners | BJ Origins | Penis Anxiety | Good BJ Dicks | Threesomes | Tantus Uncut | Vixskin Mustang | Vixen Leo | Getting Emotional About Dicks | BJ Porn | Gagging | BJ Mindfulness | Service BJs | Praise | Strap-On BJs | Socratic Method | Being a Good BJ Receiver | Noise | Giving Direction | What Do I Do With My Hands? | Accepting Pleasure | Communication |  Channel-Surfing Method | The Worm | The Cashmere of BJs | Enthusiasm | Entitlement | Feminist Guilt | This Dick is Going to Ruin My Life… | Semen Recipe Book | BJ Painting

In this episode your hostfemme and hostbean discuss our gender identities and what they mean to us. We discuss Bex's gender feels, Kate's femmeness, and the way cis men impact the way we present. Segue? So gay! | Sexting | Gender Feels | Pronouns | Bean | Femmes | Skirts and Dresses | Patriarchal Bullshit | Hot Pink Lipstick | Pop Punk Skater Boi | Soft Butch Dykes | Faggy Gay Boys | Cleavagey Shirts | Aggressively Gendering People | Batman Dress | Thrift Store Prom Dresses | Mental Health | CisHet Dudes | Good Girl | Not No… | Girly Girl | Body Hair | Archer | Blue Eyeshadow

This week the Dildorks delve into one of their all time favorite topics- Kink! We talk about our kink identities, fetishes, and some of the things we really want to try. We think back on how our kinks manifested in childhood and what it looked like when we realized we were kinky. Then we wrap things up with a discussion on blowjobs and our memories of Bex's epic birthday party. Submission | Bratting | Pup | Service | Pillow Princess | DD/lg | Daddy | Good Girl | Teacher's Pet | Little One | Veruca Salt | Dane Joe | Pet Names | Humiliation | Being Called a Slut | Kinky Beginnings | Power Exchange | Developing New Kinks | Kinky BJs | Suit kinks | Spanking | Restraint | Impact | OxBalls Paddle | Lexan Paddle | Grappling | Anal Sex | Fisting | Skype Fist Bumps | Suspension | Fire Play | Zoomline | Managing Anxiety with Kink | Productivity Doms | #BirthdayBruises | Exhibitionism | Kink Flirting

As sex toy reviewers, we get asked the same questions over and over... In this episode we discuss our desert-island toys, weirdest toys, and the first toys we ever used. We also get real sassy about the stereotypes of using toys with partners, and our two least favorite luxury companies. Good for Her | Rubber Ducky Vibe | The Softies | Icicles No. 1 | Prehensile G-spots | Working Up to Fisting | Desert Island Sex Toys | Magic Wand Rechargeable | Njoy Eleven | Fucking Sculptures Double Trouble | Oasis | Porn Shoots | A-spot | Lexan Paddle | Unicorn Collaborators | Artemisia Femmecock | Vixen Maverick | Vixen Randy | Tantus Uncuts | Fuze Foreman | NYTC Ellis | NYTC Packers | L'Amorouse Prisms | Leather and Lattes | Stone Crops | Sadist Attraction Devices | Problematic Bad Dragon | Pokemoan | Magic Banana | Butt Plug Shoes | Courtesy Hitachis | JimmyJane | [Intro 2] [Form 4] | Lelo [Hex] [Scented Sex Toys] [Dick Tux] | Pevertables | Machete Spankings | Sex with Shakespeare | Vixskin [Goodfella] [Outlaw]

In our inaugural episode, we discuss our sex superhero origin stories, our first memories of each other, and the weekend that cemented our friendship. We get real gross when we talk about why this friendship is different from any other we’ve had and what it means to be #BrainTwins. We also introduce our first segment, Fuck This/Fuck Yea, where we discuss things we’ve loved and things we’ve hated that week. Sweden Manatees, Sex is Fun, Hey Epiphora, Dangerous Lilly, DildoHoliday,Playground Conference, Emergency Threesomes, TMSG Podcast with Bex’s Story, #ThingsIdOnlyTellYou, Slut accomplishments, Hogwarts Houses, Smitten Kitten Tank, People who are bad at poly, Sex Parties, Sexual Tension