In this episode, we explore how to identify and end dysfunctional patterns in marriage that hinder intimacy. We introduce the relationship grid, which helps couples understand their behaviors and reactions when triggered. The discussion covers the importance of self-esteem and boundaries, leading to an exploration of four quadrants that represent different relationship dynamics. By recognizing where they fall within these quadrants, couples can work towards healing and improving their relationships.Take a look at how to identify Dysfunctional Patterns in Marriage here: https://drive.google.com/file/d/1Wkbm7jrptbSDR7rAnlz1Afm6VNxiEE2U/view?usp=drive_linkTakeawaysUnderstanding dysfunctional patterns is crucial for intimacy.The relationship grid helps map out behaviors in relationships.Self-esteem impacts how we relate to ourselves and others.Healthy boundaries are essential for maintaining relationships.There are four quadrants that represent relationship dynamics.Boundaryless individuals often seek validation from others.Walled off individuals may struggle with intimacy and connection.Recognizing your quadrant can lead to personal growth.It takes one person to start breaking dysfunctional patterns.Small, consistent actions can lead to significant relationship improvements.💬 Follow us on IG: https://www.instagram.com/masteryourmarriage/?hl=enValues Course “Sync Up: Aligning Values & Vision For Lasting Love” is now available! Get registered here: https://stan.store/masteryourmarriage/p/in-sync-together-aligning-values--vision

In this episode, we explore the concept of boundaries in relationships, focusing on both physical and psychological boundaries. The discussion emphasizes the importance of understanding and establishing healthy boundaries to foster intimacy and connection while avoiding the pitfalls of being boundaryless or overly walled off. Practical strategies for implementing boundaries in daily life are provided, along with a guided meditation to help listeners visualize and strengthen their personal boundaries.TakeawaysBoundaries are essential for maintaining intimacy in relationships.There are two types of boundaries: physical and psychological.Physical boundaries involve personal space and control over one's body.Psychological boundaries protect our mental and emotional space.A boundaryless person is overly reactive to external feedback.Being walled off prevents genuine connection with others.Healthy boundaries allow for vulnerability and intimacy.Boundaries are dynamic and require ongoing evaluation.Practicing boundaries is crucial for emotional health.Self-esteem and boundaries are interconnected in relationships.💬 Follow us on IG: https://www.instagram.com/masteryourmarriage/?hl=en

"You can't love someone else unless you love yourself."In this episode of Master Your Marriage, we explore the profound connection between self-love and relationships, emphasizing the importance of self-esteem in fostering intimacy. We introduce a reactive behavior map to help listeners understand their own and their partner's behaviors during conflicts. The discussion delves into the distortions of self-esteem, highlighting the one-up and one-down positions that can hinder healthy relationships. The episode concludes with a focus on the necessity of compassionate self-confrontation and the journey of evolving relationships through honest self-reflection.The Self-Esteem distortions: https://drive.google.com/file/d/11vzfQsTiWULK4Uu9pl4fYoa32ckOkDLX/view?usp=sharing TakeawaysYou can't love someone else unless you love yourself.Self-esteem is how you relate to yourself and others.Healthy self-esteem recognizes our inherent value.Distortions in self-esteem can sabotage intimacy.The one-up position leads to superiority and entitlement.The one-down position leads to feelings of inferiority.Contempt is a major predictor of relationship issues.Compassionate self-confrontation is essential for growth.True intimacy requires equality in relationships.Relationships are a continuous journey of self-evaluation.Values Course “Sync Up: Aligning Values & Vision For Lasting Love” is now available! Get registered here: https://stan.store/masteryourmarriage/p/in-sync-together-aligning-values--vision💬 Follow us on IG: https://www.instagram.com/masteryourmarriage/?hl=en

In this episode, we explore the concept of the adaptive child and how it influences our reactions during relationship conflicts. We discuss the importance of self-confrontation and self-reflection as foundational elements for intimacy. The conversation delves into the impact of past traumas on present behaviors, the necessity of recognizing when the adaptive child takes over, and strategies for shifting back to the wise adult. Techniques for self-regulation and the role of journaling in personal growth are also highlighted, providing listeners with actionable insights to improve their relationships.Takeaways:Recognizing the adaptive child is crucial for healthy communication.Self-confrontation is the foundation of intimacy in relationships.Behavior reflects deeper emotional truths and needs.Past traumas can trigger automatic, unhealthy responses in relationships.The adaptive child often takes over during conflicts, leading to regression.Maturity involves managing one's own emotional responses.Self-regulation techniques can help regain control during emotional upheaval.Journaling can enhance self-awareness and promote personal growth.Understanding triggers is essential for effective conflict resolution.Intimacy requires vulnerability and the willingness to evolve.Values Course “Sync Up: Aligning Values & Vision For Lasting Love” is now available! Get registered here: https://stan.store/masteryourmarriage/p/in-sync-together-aligning-values--vision💬 Follow us on IG: https://www.instagram.com/masteryourmarriage/?hl=en

In this conversation, we delve into the detrimental effects of indecision in relationships, particularly in marriage. It explores how anxiety and the pursuit of perfection can lead to paralysis in decision-making, ultimately impacting personal and relational growth. We emphasize the importance of recognizing the finite nature of human existence, the fear of regret that underlies indecision, and the necessity of taking action after making choices. We advocate for embracing mistakes as part of the learning process and highlight the significance of agency and responsibility in navigating life's decisions.TakeawaysIndecision can erode relationships by preventing full commitment.Indecision is often rooted in the fantasy of perfection.Living in the anxiety age contributes to decision-making paralysis.Accepting our human limitations can lead to greater peace of mind in choosing.Indecision often leads to analysis paralysis in relationships.Every decision closes off other possibilities, leading to grief.Fear of regret is the primary driver of indecision.It's not the choice that matters, but the actions taken afterward.Embracing mistakes can lead to better decision-making.No choice is permanent; we can always pivot.Values Course “Sync Up: Aligning Values & Vision For Lasting Love” is now available! Get registered here: https://stan.store/masteryourmarriage/p/in-sync-together-aligning-values--vision💬 Follow us on IG: https://www.instagram.com/masteryourmarriage/?hl=en

"Withdrawal can slowly destroy connection."In this episode, we discuss the concept of withdrawal in relationships, exploring how it manifests and the dangers it poses to emotional connection. We delve into the difference between withdrawal and mature acceptance, emphasizing the importance of communication and responsible distance-taking. The conversation highlights the detrimental effects of apathy and isolation and concludes with strategies for couples to recognize and address their own losing strategies in relationships.TakeawaysWithdrawal can take many forms in relationships.Apathy leads to crushing loneliness for both partners.Couples often live separate but parallel lives due to withdrawal.The opposite of love is apathy, not hate.Real acceptance is a choice, not avoidance.Responsible distance-taking requires mutual understanding.Withdrawal can escalate conflict and lead to divorce.Recognizing subtle forms of withdrawal is essential.Expressing needs constructively is crucial for relationship health.Self-assessment of losing strategies can improve relationships.Values Course “Sync Up: Aligning Values & Vision For Lasting Love” is now available! Get registered here: https://stan.store/masteryourmarriage/p/in-sync-together-aligning-values--vision💬 Follow us on IG: https://www.instagram.com/masteryourmarriage/?hl=en

"Defense is the first act of war."Defensiveness is a corrosive behavior that goes against the purpose of marriage, which is personal growth. It is non-accountability, anti-growth, and unrepentant. Dr. John Gottman identified defensiveness as one of the Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse, which predicts divorce. Defensiveness prevents true intimacy and creates a barrier to growth. The antidote to defensiveness is taking responsibility and being open to feedback. By facing ourselves and making positive changes, we can have a profound impact on our relationships and personal growth.TakeawaysDefensiveness is a corrosive behavior that hinders personal growth in relationships.Dr. John Gottman identified defensiveness as one of the Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse, which predict divorce.Defensiveness prevents true intimacy and creates a barrier to growth.The antidote to defensiveness is taking responsibility and being open to feedback.By facing ourselves and making positive changes, we can have a profound impact on our relationships and personal growth.Values Course “Sync Up: Aligning Values & Vision For Lasting Love” is now available! Get registered here: https://stan.store/masteryourmarriage/p/in-sync-together-aligning-values--vision💬 Follow us on IG: https://www.instagram.com/masteryourmarriage/?hl=en

Is sacrifice no longer a virtue?In this episode, we discuss the concept of resentful accommodation in marriage. We explore the idea that sacrifice is often seen as a virtue in relationships, but there is a point where sacrifice can become unvirtuous and detrimental to the relationship. What's the difference between virtuous sacrifice, which benefits everyone involved, and unvirtuous sacrifice, which is done to avoid discomfort or gain approval? We share personal examples of resentful accommodation in our own marriage and discuss the costs and consequences of this losing strategy. Open communication and mutual decision-making in healthy sacrifice are key!TakeawaysSacrifice is an integral part of most intimate relationships, but there is a point where sacrifice can become unvirtuous and detrimental to the relationship.Virtuous sacrifice benefits everyone involved, while unvirtuous sacrifice is done to avoid discomfort or gain approval.Resentful accommodation, a form of unvirtuous sacrifice, leads to under-functioning and resentment in the relationship.Open communication and mutual decision-making are essential in healthy sacrifice.It is important to self-reflect and identify any resentments or unvirtuous sacrifices in the relationship in order to address and resolve them.Values Course “Sync Up: Aligning Values & Vision For Lasting Love” is now available! Get registered here: https://stan.store/masteryourmarriage/p/in-sync-together-aligning-values--vision💬 Follow us on IG: https://www.instagram.com/masteryourmarriage/?hl=en

"Retaliation is trying to cause the same emotion in the other person that you're feeling."In this episode, we discuss the destructive pattern of retaliation and punishment in relationships. We explore the different forms of retaliation, including direct and indirect, and how it can harm the connection between partners. We know the importance of recognizing and confronting the urge to retaliate, as it often stems from feeling justified and victimized. We encourage listeners to commit to non-violent and non-retaliatory behaviors in their relationships and provide journaling questions for self-reflection.TakeawaysRetaliation and punishment are common destructive patterns in relationships that can harm the connection between partners.Retaliation can take various forms, including direct (overt) and indirect (covert) behaviors.The urge to retaliate often stems from feeling justified and victimized, but it ultimately leads to a loss of agency and connection.Committing to non-violent and non-retaliatory behaviors can bring more peace and harmony to relationships.Self-reflection and confronting the ego are essential in breaking the cycle of retaliation and creating healthier relationships.Values Course “Sync Up: Aligning Values & Vision For Lasting Love” is now available! Get registered here: https://stan.store/masteryourmarriage/p/in-sync-together-aligning-values--vision💬 Follow us on IG: https://www.instagram.com/masteryourmarriage/?hl=en

"Contempt is the most destructive of all negative behaviors in relationships."In this episode of the Master Your Marriage podcast, we discuss destructive pattern number three: unbridled expression. We explore the negative impact of expressing every thought and emotion without restraint, and how it can lead to hurtful and damaging behavior in relationships. We also delve into the concept of contempt as a form of unbridled expression, highlighting its corrosive effects on a marriage. The episode concludes with journaling prompts and suggestions for overcoming unbridled expression.TakeawaysUnbridled expression, or expressing every thought and emotion without restraint, can be damaging to relationships.Contempt, a form of unbridled expression, is the most destructive of all negative behaviors in relationships and is a predictor of divorce.Self-awareness is key to overcoming unbridled expression and focusing on personal growth.Empathy is essential in building healthy and loving relationships.Interrupting old behaviors and practicing new ones is crucial for personal and relational growth.

"Control isn't real. It's an illusion... Each of us has this fundamental need for autonomy."In this episode, we discuss the destructive pattern of controlling others in relationships. Controlling behavior is often a result of managing our own anxieties and insecurities. They provide examples of overt and covert control tactics, such as criticism, blame, guilt-tripping, gaslighting, and emotional manipulation. The hosts emphasize that control is an illusion and that it damages trust, intimacy, and autonomy in relationships. They encourage self-reflection and open communication with partners to address and overcome controlling behaviors.TakeawaysControlling behavior in relationships is often a result of managing our own anxieties and insecurities.Examples of controlling behavior include criticism, blame, guilt tripping, gaslighting, and emotional manipulation.Control is an illusion and damages trust, intimacy, and autonomy in relationships.Self-reflection and open communication with partners are essential to address and overcome controlling behaviors.Values Course “Sync Up: Aligning Values & Vision For Lasting Love” is now available! Get registered here: https://stan.store/masteryourmarriage/p/in-sync-together-aligning-values--vision💬 Follow us on IG: https://www.instagram.com/masteryourmarriage/?hl=en

In this episode of Master Your Marriage, we discuss the destructive pattern of needing to be right in relationships. They explain that this pattern can lead to disconnection and alienation from others. The hosts explore how the need to be right shows up in sneaky ways, such as collecting evidence to prove one's perspective, acting morally superior, and convincing oneself that it's for the greater good. We emphasize the importance of looking within and examining our own behaviors, as well as the need to let go of the ego's desire to be right. The episode ends with reflection questions for listeners to consider.Takeaways:The need to be right can lead to disconnection and alienation in relationships.The need to be right shows up in sneaky ways, such as collecting evidence to prove one's perspective and acting morally superior.It's important to look within and examine our own behaviors, as well as let go of the ego's desire to be right.Curiosity and equal dialogue are more important than the need to be right in relationships.#destructive #pattern #right , #relationships , #disconnection #alienation #ego #marriage #podcast

The quality of relationships is the best predictor of overall life satisfaction. Happiness in marriage is not about luck or finding a soulmate, but about seeking wisdom and personal growth. Marriage exposes our limitations and immaturities, providing an opportunity for development and maturity. Psychological maturity requires developing a sense of self and living according to our values. As children, we borrow our sense of self from our parents, but as adults, we need to grow ourselves up. Immaturity in relationships leads to control or feeling controlled. People-pleasers seek validation, while controllers seek power. Change requires a fruitful reason, truthfulness, and accountability.TakeawaysThe quality of relationships is the best predictor of overall life satisfactionHappiness in marriage comes from seeking wisdom and personal growthMarriage exposes our limitations and immaturities, providing an opportunity for development and maturityPsychological maturity requires developing a sense of self and living according to our valuesChange requires fruitful reason, truthfulness, and accountabilityValues Course “Sync Up: Aligning Values & Vision For Lasting Love” is now available! Get registered here: https://stan.store/masteryourmarriage/p/in-sync-together-aligning-values--vision💬 Follow us on IG: https://www.instagram.com/masteryourmarriage/?hl=en

Why are you choosing to stay in your current relationship or marriage?Today, we’re diving deep into a topic that can truly transform your relationship: The Power of Choice. We’ll explore how making conscious decisions can strengthen your bond and bring out the best in both you and your partner. So, get ready to discover why choosing into your relationship every day is the key to its success.Key Takeaways:The Importance of Choice in Relationships;Understanding Autonomy and Its Impact;Daily Choices and Their Long-term Impact;Remember that choosing your relationship every day is a powerful act that can lead to a more fulfilling and meaningful partnership. Reflect on why you’re choosing to stay in your relationship and what you’re willing to do to make it better.Don’t forget to subscribe to our podcast if you haven’t already, so you never miss an episode. If you found value in today’s discussion, please leave us a five-star review and a comment. Your support helps us continue bringing you free coaching sessions every week.

Welcome back to another transformative episode of Master Your Marriage! This week, we're thrilled to have fellow marriage mentors, Kevin and Michelle Davis. They bring a wealth of experience and wisdom, particularly from their unique backgrounds in dealing with the challenges of coming from divorced families. Kevin hosts the popular podcast, "Maxed Out Man," where he empowers men to excel in all aspects of life, starting with their relationships. Join us as we dive deep into the crucial topics of emotional intelligence, effective communication, and the relentless pursuit of growth in marriage.The idea that couples should treat their relationship with the same intentionality and strategy as a business might be controversial, but we argue it can lead to a significantly more successful marriage.📅 Connect with Kevin and Michelle here: https://www.maxedoutman.com/💬 Follow us on IG: https://www.instagram.com/masteryourmarriage/?hl=en

Thomas Seager, a PhD in civil and environmental engineering, shares his journey into researching deliberate cold exposure and its impact on health. He discusses the importance of individual health and the need for people to take charge of their own well-being. Thomas also shares personal experiences with cold exposure and how it has positively affected his health, including increasing testosterone levels. He emphasizes the importance of listening to individual experiences and conducting N equals one experiments to explore the benefits of cold exposure. The conversation also touches on topics such as brown fat and its relationship to hormones. Cold exposure stimulates brown fat, which has multiple functions in the body. It helps regulate metabolism, modulate thyroid function, and secrete neuroprotective factors and hormones that keep the brain in good shape. Cold exposure can also improve cognitive function and aid in recovery from brain injuries. It is important to be a little bit cold some of the time to maintain optimal health and prevent age-related diseases. Cold exposure can also enhance resilience and emotional intelligence in relationships. Deliberate cold exposure can have various benefits for both physical and mental health. It can help recruit brown fat, improve metabolic health, release stress, and promote psychological resilience. However, there are some contraindications to be aware of, such as hypertension and transient global amnesia. It's important to approach cold exposure with caution and listen to your body's response. Thomas Seager's book, Uncommon Cold, explores the science and experiences behind deliberate cold exposure. His website, Morozco Forge, provides resources and articles on the topic.TakeawaysIndividuals should take charge of their own health and not solely rely on medical experts or institutions.Personal experiences and N equals one experiments can provide valuable insights into the benefits of cold exposure.Cold exposure, such as ice baths, can have positive effects on hormone levels, including testosterone.Brown fat, which can be activated through cold exposure, has been linked to various health benefits.The scientific community should be open to exploring and studying the experiences and anecdotes of individuals to develop new hypotheses and treatments. Brown fat is not just for cold thermogenesis, it also has essential secretory functions in the body.Cold exposure can improve brain function and aid in recovery from brain injuries.Regular cold exposure can stimulate mitogenesis and rejuvenate mitochondria, leading to improved metabolism.Cold exposure can enhance resilience and emotional intelligence in relationships. Deliberate cold exposure can recruit brown fat and improve metabolic health.Cold exposure can release stress and promote psychological resilience.Hypertension and transient global amnesia are contraindications to be aware of.Approach cold exposure with caution and listen to your body's response.Thomas Seager's book, Uncommon Cold, explores the science and experiences of deliberate cold exposure.The website Morozco Forge provides resources and articles on the topic.Visit Morozco Forge for more on Thomas Seager's work. 🌐📖Follow Thomas on Instagram: @SeagerTP 📸

Hey everyone, it’s Sharla and Robert! We’re thrilled to celebrate our 74th episode of Master Your Marriage! If you’re new here, hit subscribe so you don’t miss out. For our loyal listeners, thanks for the love! Don’t forget to leave a ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️ review!Values Course “Sync Up: Aligning Values & Vision For Lasting Love” is now available! Get registered here: https://stan.store/masteryourmarriage/p/in-sync-together-aligning-values--visionThis Episode’s Highlights:Robert’s Career Revelation: Robert shares his journey from contractor to CEO and how a simple mirror exercise revealed his true values. 🪞✨Living Pono: Discover the Hawaiian concept of living in alignment with your deepest values and how it can transform your life. 🌺🌿Creating Rituals: Learn how to establish daily and annual rituals that support your values and strengthen your relationship. 🔄💖Quick Action Steps:1. Find Your Values: Reflect on what truly matters to you in life and relationships. 🧠💭2. Set Rituals: Create simple, meaningful rituals to honor those values. 📅✨3. Align Together**: Share and align your values with your partner for a stronger bond. 💑💕Timestamps:0:00 - Introduction and Welcome 🎉1:20 - Robert’s Career Revelation 🏗️➡️👔3:00 - The Mirror Exercise 🪞5:00 - Living in Alignment: The Concept of Pono 🌺6:40 - Creating Meaningful Rituals 🔄10:00 - Annual Marriage Retreat: Realigning Values 🏔️❤️11:45 - Applying Alignment to Relationships 💑13:00 - Understanding and Discovering Your Values 🧭17:00 - The Power of Shared Values in Marriage 💖19:20 - Final Thoughts and Takeaways 🌟20:30 - Call to Action: Subscribe, Review, and Share 📣Follow us on IG: https://www.instagram.com/masteryourmarriage/?hl=en

Dr. Allen Holmes discusses male hormones and the effects of aging on testosterone levels. He explains that as men age, testosterone levels naturally decline, leading to symptoms such as fatigue, low energy, decreased libido, and reduced motivation. However, he emphasizes that low testosterone is not just a normal part of aging and can be treated. Dr. Holmes discusses the different methods of testosterone supplementation, including pellets, injections, and creams, and highlights the importance of individualized treatment based on symptoms and lab results. He also addresses common concerns and misconceptions about testosterone, such as its impact on prostate health and the risk of side effects.TakeawaysLow testosterone is not just a normal part of aging and can be treated.Testosterone supplementation can help improve symptoms such as fatigue, low energy, decreased libido, and reduced motivation.Treatment options include pellets, injections, and creams, and the choice depends on individual needs and preferences.Monitoring testosterone levels and adjusting treatment based on symptoms and lab results is important for optimal results.Concerns about testosterone's impact on prostate health and the risk of side effects are often based on outdated or incomplete information.Chapters00:00 Introduction and Dr. Allen Holmes' Background02:10 Understanding Male Hormones and Aging06:19 Different Terms for Male Hormone Changes09:02 Recognizing Symptoms of Low Testosterone14:44 Debunking Myths: Testosterone and Prostate Health22:58 Treatment Options for Erectile Dysfunction36:26 Natural Ways to Increase Testosterone41:17 Conclusion and Contact Information

The episode discusses the importance of a strong sense of self in maintaining sexual desire in relationships. It emphasizes the need to focus on oneself rather than relying on others for validation and approval. The hosts share a story of a couple who experienced sexual desire problems due to their underdeveloped sense of self. They provide steps for strengthening one's sense of self, including observing, evaluating, and interrupting automatic behaviors. The hosts recommend the book 'Everything Isn't Terrible' by Dr. Kathleen Smith as a resource for further exploration.Values Course “Sync Up: Aligning Values & Vision For Lasting Love” is now available! Get registered here: https://stan.store/masteryourmarriage/p/in-sync-together-aligning-values--visionTakeawaysA strong sense of self is crucial for maintaining sexual desire in relationships.Focusing on oneself rather than relying on others for validation and approval is important.Observing, evaluating, and interrupting automatic behaviors can help strengthen one's sense of self.The book 'Everything Isn't Terrible' by Dr. Kathleen Smith is a recommended resource for further exploration.Chapters00:00 Introduction: The Role of Sense of Self in Sexual Desire18:32 The Impact of an Underdeveloped Sense of Self on Sexual Desire29:19 Steps for Strengthening Sense of Self37:22 Conclusion: Observing, Evaluating, and InterruptingFollow us on IG: https://www.instagram.com/masteryourmarriage/?hl=en#sexualempowerment #relationship #marriage #validation #mature #emotionalintelligence #desire

Hey everyone! It's Sharla Snow here, and welcome back to another episode of "Master Your Marriage." Today, we're diving into an important topic with our special guest, Dr. Jenn Simmons. Dr. Jenn is an integrative oncologist, author, and the founder of Real Health MD. She's here to talk about perimenopause, hormone replacement therapy (HRT), and the truth about their connection to breast cancer. Trust me, you don't want to miss this one!Dr. Jenn shares her journey from being a top breast cancer surgeon to starting Real Health MD. We discuss the often-overlooked symptoms of perimenopause and the impact of hormone deficiencies on our health. I also share my personal experience with these symptoms and how HRT transformed my life. Dr. Jenn debunks the myths around HRT and breast cancer and explains how to find a hormone-literate physician.This episode is packed with valuable insights and practical advice for anyone dealing with hormonal changes. Dr. Jenn explains the benefits of HRT and the importance of addressing hormone deficiencies early. Don't miss out on this empowering conversation!Chapters:00:00 - Introduction00:20 - Meet Dr. Jenn Simmons01:00 - Dr. Jenn’s Journey03:00 - Perimenopause Symptoms06:20 - Estrogen and HRT10:00 - Sharla’s Personal Experience13:40 - Debunking HRT Myths16:00 - Finding a Hormone-Literate Doctor18:20 - Safe Practices for HRT21:00 - Long-Term Health Impact25:00 - Closing and How to ConnectLinks Mentioned:Real Health MD (https://www.realhealthmd.com/)Keeping Abreast with Dr. Jenn Podcast (https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/keeping-abreast-with-dr-jenn/id1697193398)Dr. Jenn Simmons on LinkedIn (https://www.linkedin.com/in/jennifer-simmons-md-16198389/)The Smart Woman's Guide to Breast Cancer - Book (https://www.amazon.com/Smart-Womans-Guide-Breast-Cancer/dp/B0D38MNWBK)#marriage #menopause #hormonehealth #breastcancer #womenshealth #holistichealth

Values Course “Sync Up: Aligning Values & Vision For Lasting Love” now available! Get registered here: https://stan.store/masteryourmarriage/p/in-sync-together-aligning-values--visionIn this conversation, I explore the impacts of hormones on sexuality, focusing on the changes that occur in women's bodies during perimenopause and menopause. We delve into the physical and mental health challenges, as well as the implications for sexual function. Be ready to receive insights and strategies for maintaining sexual health and desire as women age, emphasizing the importance of open communication and empowerment through knowledge.TakeawaysHormonal changes during perimenopause and menopause can have significant impacts on a woman's physical and mental health, as well as her sexual function.Open communication about sexual needs and changes in the body is crucial for maintaining a healthy and fulfilling sex life as women age.Empowerment through knowledge and access to resources, such as hormone therapy and sexual wellness products, can support women in maintaining sexual health and desire as they age.#sexualempowerment #healthyaging #menopause #hormonehealth #empowerment #ageless #menopausesymptoms

In this episode of "Master Your Marriage," Robert and I dive into how our feelings in relationships evolve over time and how to keep that spark alive. You know, those butterflies and the exhilarating rush of falling in love might not last forever, but that doesn't mean passion has to disappear. Instead, it can grow into a more mature love. We believe it’s absolutely possible to maintain and deepen our passion and intimacy for decades, and today we’re going to share how we can make that happen.We talked about how sexual desire can change, especially for women in long-term relationships. Research shows that women’s desire often decreases more rapidly after marriage, which was surprising to us at first. But it's not that women care less about sex; it’s that we want sex that's worth having—full of romance, seduction, and connection. Robert and I discussed how important it is to take responsibility for our own desires. We shared tips like engaging in activities that make us feel alive and confident, because when we feel our best, it positively impacts our relationship.To wrap things up, we gave you an exercise to help you understand your own turn-ons and turn-offs. We can’t always rely on our partners to fulfill every need; it’s up to us to take charge of our desires. By creating intentional rituals of connection and self-care, we can keep the passion burning. We’d love to hear your thoughts on this, so come join the conversation on social media. And if you enjoyed this episode, please leave us a review and share it with someone who might benefit from it. Remember, it’s the small things done often that make the biggest impact. Until next time, take care and be kind to each other.

Values Course “Sync Up: Aligning Values & Vision For Lasting Love” now available! Get registered here: https://stan.store/masteryourmarriage/p/in-sync-together-aligning-values--vision"Power struggles in relationships usually result in either a breaking point or a turning point for growth."In this episode of Master Your Marriage, we discuss the importance of accepting influence in a relationship and how it can lead to a happier and healthier partnership. We explain that accepting influence means taking your partner's opinion into account and being open to using their input to make decisions as a couple. We also address the challenges of accepting influence, such as cultural conditioning and the fear of losing power. We share some tips on how to mentally prepare for disagreements, including seeing the other person's perspective, assuming good intent, and focusing on the underlying values behind the disagreement. We emphasize the importance of finding win-win solutions and incorporating both partners' needs in the decision-making process.TakeawaysAccepting influence is crucial for a healthy and happy relationship.Power struggles in relationships can lead to deterioration or growth.Accepting influence does not mean giving away power, but rather finding a balance.Mentally preparing for disagreements can help improve communication and find win-win solutions.Disagreements often stem from differences in values, and understanding each other's perspectives is key to resolving conflicts.Chapters00:00 Intro04:17 Finding a Balance08:06 Amygdala Hijack: The Fight, Flight, or Freeze Response15:35 Acquiring Respect, Power, and Influence through Accepting Influence24:18 Understanding Values27:35 Small Acts of Kindness

Values Course “Sync Up: Aligning Values & Vision For Lasting Love” now available! Get registered here: https://stan.store/masteryourmarriage/p/in-sync-together-aligning-values--vision"Physical touch is a language of its own."Physical touch is a vital language of connection in relationships. It fosters trust, teamwork, and overall well-being. Touch is a powerful way to communicate emotions and messages without words. Research shows that touch improves performance and cooperation in teams, including NBA players. Touch starvation, or the lack of physical affection, can lead to loneliness, depression, and health issues. To prioritize physical affection in long-term relationships, create daily rituals of touch, such as a six-second kiss, a 20-second hug, holding hands, giving back rubs, and creating a bedtime ritual that includes touch. It's important to respond to your partner's touch bids and avoid making touch conditional on sex. If touch has not felt safe in the past, start slowly and seek healing.TakeawaysPhysical touch is a vital language of connection in relationships.Creating daily rituals of touch can prioritize physical affection in long-term relationships.Responding to your partner's touch bids strengthens connection and intimacy.Avoid making touch conditional on sex and prioritize non-sexual touch.If touch has not felt safe in the past, start slowly and seek healing.Chapters00:00 Introduction06:11 Improving Performance and Cooperation15:13 Touch Starvation: The Impact of a Lack of Physical Affection23:27 Responding to Touch Bids: Strengthening Connection and Intimacy26:23 Creating a Safe Space: Healing Past Trauma and Building Trust28:13 Conclusion

"Learning isn't a straight line. It's really more like a roller coaster with ups and downs."This episode discusses the four stages of learning and how they apply to relationships. The stages are: unconscious incompetence, conscious incompetence, conscious competence, and unconscious competence. The hosts emphasize that learning new skills in relationships can be frustrating and challenging, but it's important to give yourself grace and keep practicing. They also discuss the importance of personalizing the skills and teaching them to others. The episode concludes by reminding listeners that relationships are a lifelong journey of growth and that it's important to have love and compassion for oneself and one's partner.Takeaways:Learning new skills in relationships can be frustrating and challenging, but it's important to give yourself grace and keep practicing.The four stages of learning are: unconscious incompetence, conscious incompetence, conscious competence, and unconscious competence.Personalizing the skills and teaching them to others can help solidify your understanding and mastery of the skills.Relationships are a lifelong journey of growth, and it's important to have love and compassion for oneself and one's partner.Chapters00:00 Introduction and Connection with Listeners06:35 The Four Stages of Learning15:01 Conscious Competence and Effortless Mastery23:38 Emotional Struggles and Grace in Learning25:29 Relationships as a Journey of Growth

Is porn good for marriage?In this conversation, Robert and Sharla Snow discuss the topic of pornography and its impact on relationships. They highlight three main reasons why they decided to address this topic: the correlation between pornography use and decreased sex life satisfaction, the potential for increased desire for rough or violent sexual intimacy, and the increased chance of divorce. They share staggering statistics about pornography consumption and its prevalence on the internet. The conversation then shifts to the personal experiences of Emmanuel Guarino and his wife Becca, who share their journey of dealing with porn addiction in their marriage. They discuss the negative effects of pornography on their relationship, including porn-induced erectile dysfunction and the loss of intimacy. They also talk about the lack of resources and support available for couples dealing with this issue. The turning point in their journey came when Emmanuel reached a breaking point and asked for help, leading them to start a mission of helping other couples overcome porn addiction. They emphasize the importance of addressing the underlying pain and trauma that often drives porn addiction and the need for open and vulnerable communication in relationships.TakeawaysUsing pornography has been correlated to decreased sex life satisfaction and can impact relationships.There is a statistically increased chance of divorce associated with pornography use.Open and vulnerable communication is crucial in addressing and overcoming porn addiction in relationships. Removing shame and stigma surrounding pornography addiction is important for healing.Building a supportive team and changing the environment can aid in overcoming addiction.Understanding the dark side of the porn industry can help in breaking free from its influence.Vulnerability, honesty, and teamwork are key to building strong and intimate relationships.

Values Course “Sync Up: Aligning Values & Vision For Lasting Love” now available! Get registered here: https://stan.store/masteryourmarriage/p/in-sync-together-aligning-values--vision"Empathy can heal, deescalate conflict, and prevent resentments."In this episode, Robert and Sharla Snow discuss the importance of empathy in difficult situations within a marriage. They explore three challenging situations: dealing with harsh words, when a spouse isn't open and vulnerable, and hearing the word 'no'. They emphasize the need to practice empathy, even when it's difficult, and provide strategies for understanding and connecting with the feelings and needs of your partner. The episode highlights the detrimental effects of harsh startups and the importance of repair attempts. Overall, the Snows stress the significance of empathy in maintaining a healthy and flourishing relationship.TakeawaysEmpathy is crucial in difficult situations within a marriage.Harsh startups can escalate conflicts and lead to negativity and divorce.Repair attempts and a 5:1 positivity-to-negativity ratio are essential for maintaining a healthy relationship.When a spouse isn't open and vulnerable, inferential listening and confirming assumptions can help understand their feelings and needs.Hearing 'no' compassionately involves recognizing the feelings and needs behind the response and finding solutions that honor both partners' needs.Chapters00:00 The Power of Empathy in Difficult Situations08:00 Repair Attempts and the 5:1 Positivity Ratio21:49 Compassionate Responses to Hearing 'No'

Values Course “Sync Up: Aligning Values & Vision For Lasting Love” now available! Get registered here: https://stan.store/masteryourmarriage/p/in-sync-together-aligning-values--vision"Empathy creates more intimacy, and that's what everyone wants."Empathy is a powerful tool that can improve intimacy and connection in relationships. It involves being fully present and seeking to understand the feelings and needs of others. Empathy is not sympathy, giving advice, or trying to fix things. It requires being present, focusing on the present moment, and understanding the feelings and needs of the other person. Non-verbal communication, such as body language, is often more important than words in conveying empathy. Achieving empathy can lead to a sense of peace and connection.Takeaways:Empathy is a powerful tool for improving intimacy and connection in relationships.Being fully present and seeking to understand the feelings and needs of others is key to practicing empathy.Empathy is not sympathy, giving advice, or trying to fix things.Non-verbal communication, such as body language, is often more important than words in conveying empathy.Achieving empathy can lead to a sense of peace and connection.#empathy #intimacy #connection

Values Course “Sync Up: Aligning Values & Vision For Lasting Love” now available! Get registered here: https://stan.store/masteryourmarriage/p/in-sync-together-aligning-values--vision"Are we even speaking the same language?"In this episode, Robert and Sharla Snow discuss the miscommunications that can occur in relationships and how different speaking and listening styles contribute to these misunderstandings. They explain the differences between inferential and literal listeners and speakers, and the challenges that can arise when these styles clash. The hosts emphasize the importance of clear communication and making explicit requests to avoid misinterpretations. They also encourage couples to eliminate the expectation that their partner should just know their needs and instead appreciate when their requests are met. Overall, the episode provides practical tips for improving communication and preventing miscommunications in relationships.TakeawaysDifferent speaking and listening styles can lead to miscommunications in relationships.Inferential listeners infer meaning from what is said, while literal listeners take words at face value.Inferential speakers imply or hint at their needs, while literal speakers are direct.It is important to recognize and understand your own speaking and listening style, as well as your partner's.Clear communication and explicit requests can help prevent misinterpretations.Eliminate the expectation that your partner should just know your needs and instead appreciate when they respond to your requests.Be grateful for your partner's efforts to connect and meet your needs, even if you have to ask for it.Chapters00:00 Introduction and Overview06:12 Understanding Listening Styles12:41 Different Speaking Styles23:26 The Importance of Clear Communication27:30 Eliminating the Expectation of Mind Reading31:11 Conclusion and Call to Action

In this episode of the Master Your Marriage Podcast, hosts Sharla and Robert Snow dive deep into the intricacies of mastering conflict and communication within relationships. This time they are not alone, Robert and Sharla were special guests for The Body Pod Podcast, with Hailey Happens Fitness and Love By Laura.The episode explores the Gottman Institute's research on predictors of divorce, highlighting the importance of avoiding detrimental conflict behaviors. Sharla and Robert share insights on strategies such as 'adult timeouts' and self-soothing techniques, emphasizing the significance of empathy, trust, and positive communication in creating emotional safety within relationships.Listeners are encouraged to view conflicts as opportunities for growth and understanding, with proactive engagement in respectful communication advocated for effective conflict resolution. Tune in for expert advice on building stronger, more fulfilling partnerships through deliberate communication techniques.Don't forget to check their podcast: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/the-body-pod/id1713102062And also Hailey's IG:https://www.instagram.com/haileyhappensfitness?igsh=c3MzOXBqMzVnNmJn

In this episode, Robert and Sharla Snow discuss the art of saying no and creating boundaries without pain. They emphasize the importance of saying no to requests from our partners compassionately, to maintain connection and avoid resentment. They explore the concept of resentful accommodation, where we meet the needs of others at the expense of our own needs and desires. The hosts provide examples of how resentful accommodation can manifest in relationships and the negative impact it can have. They also offer a three-step framework for compassionately saying no and finding a win-win solution.TakeawaysSaying no to our partner's requests is important for maintaining connection and avoiding resentment.Resentful accommodation, where we meet the needs of others at the expense of our own needs, is a losing strategy.It is essential to know and express our own needs and desires in order to have a balanced and intimate relationship.A three-step framework for saying no compassionately includes receiving the request as a gift, stating the need behind the no, and searching for a win-win solution.Chapters00:00 Introduction00:59 Importance of Saying No04:14 Resentful Accommodation05:24 Examples of Resentful Accommodation06:22 Losing Strategy07:20 Question: What if I can't always meet my partner's needs?10:06 Resentful Accommodation and Insecurity12:28 Resentful Accommodation in Family Situations13:51 Feeling Resentful at Family Gatherings15:44 Complex Emotion of Resentment19:34 Knowing Our Needs and Desires20:58 Framework for Saying No21:50 Step 1: Receive the Request as a Gift23:44 Step 2: State the Need Behind the No25:38 Step 3: Search for a Win-Win27:27 Balancing Needs and Staying Connected29:22 Conclusion and Call to Action

SummaryIn this episode, Robert and Sharla Snow discuss the importance of expressing needs effectively in relationships. They highlight the role of unexpressed and unspoken needs in causing resentment. The hosts emphasize the need to make clear observations without evaluation or judgment and to honestly and effectively express feelings. They outline the four elements of a compassionate request: clear observations, expressing feelings, articulating specific needs, and making a specific request without sounding like a demand. The hosts acknowledge the challenges of building trust in requests and encourage listeners to be patient and practice this new way of communicating.TakeawaysUnexpressed and unspoken needs can lead to resentment in relationships.Effective communication involves making clear observations without evaluation or judgment.Expressing feelings honestly and effectively is crucial in expressing needs.A compassionate request includes clear observations, feelings, specific needs, and a request that does not sound like a demand.Chapters00:00 Resentment in Relationships03:05 Expressing Needs Effectively04:00 Four Elements of a Compassionate Request05:25 Making Clear Observations10:30 Expressing Feelings13:23 Articulating Specific Needs15:40 Making a Specific Request24:54 Building Trust in Requests26:18 Final Thoughts and Call to Action

Values Course “Sync Up: Aligning Values & Vision For Lasting Love” now available! Get registered here: https://stan.store/masteryourmarriage/p/in-sync-together-aligning-values--visionSummaryIn this episode, Robert and Sharla Snow discuss the science of needs and how to express them in a healthy way. They highlight the destructive communication patterns that sabotage getting needs met and provide strategies for transforming communication. The importance of becoming conscious of needs is emphasized, and an exercise is shared to help listeners translate judgments into needs. The episode concludes with a discussion on core human needs and a call to action to create a vocabulary of needs.TakeawaysDestructive communication patterns, such as criticism and blame, sabotage getting needs met.Expressing needs clearly requires avoiding demands and using compassionate language.Becoming conscious of needs is essential for effective communication.An exercise can help translate judgments into needs and create a vocabulary of needs.Chapters00:00 Introduction02:48 The Importance of Needs08:04 Destructive Communication Patterns14:02 Transforming Communication Patterns21:53 Exercise: Translating Judgments into Needs26:12 Identifying Core Human Needs27:06 Conclusion and Call to Action

Values Course “Sync Up: Aligning Values & Vision For Lasting Love” now available! Get registered here: https://stan.store/masteryourmarriage/p/in-sync-together-aligning-values--visionSummary: In this touching episode, Robert and Sharla Snow openly share a personal encounter with anger, offering a genuine glimpse into their imperfect moments. They delve into the nuanced nature of anger, challenging preconceptions and drawing insights from Dr. John Gottman's research. Practical steps for transforming anger are introduced, accompanied by a self-awareness exercise for listeners. The episode underscores the transformative power of thoughtful responses, emphasizing the space between stimulus and reaction. Takeaways:Anger Signals Unmet Needs: Recognize anger as a signal indicating disconnection from personal needs.Transform Thoughts, Not Blame: Shift focus from blaming others to transforming internal thoughts contributing to anger.Connect to Underlying Needs: Dig beneath judgments to identify and connect with the unmet needs fueling anger.Practice Self-Awareness: Keep a journal to note anger triggers, facilitating reflection and transformation.CHAPTERS:Opening ConfessionThe Nature of AngerThe Prisoner's StorySteps to Transform AngerPractical Self-Awareness ExerciseThe Power of Thoughtful ResponsesClosing Gratitude and Call to Action

Values Course “Sync Up: Aligning Values & Vision For Lasting Love” now available! Get registered here: https://stan.store/masteryourmarriage/p/in-sync-together-aligning-values--visionIf you have a question you would like addressed, call us! Leave your question in a recorded message which we may select to be played on a future episode. That question line is 801-669-8513.SummaryIn this episode, Robert and Sharla Snow discuss the pursuit of happiness in relationships. They explore the illusion of future happiness and the importance of finding joy in challenging circumstances. Drawing from their experience with an 80-year-old Mayan woman in Guatemala, they emphasize the role of personal happiness in relationships. The couple also examines the relationship between money and happiness, highlighting the need for individuals to take responsibility for their own happiness. They provide practical tips and practices for creating a happiness fitness plan, in each of the following categories: spiritual, mental, emotional, and physical.Takeaways:Happiness is not dependent on external circumstances or future events; it is a choice we make in the present moment.Finding joy in challenging circumstances is possible and can be learned from individuals who have little material wealth.The secret to happiness in relationships is being a happy person oneself, rather than relying on a partner to change.Taking responsibility for our own happiness involves creating a fitness plan that includes spiritual, mental, emotional, and physical practices.Chapters:The Illusion of Future HappinessFinding Happiness in Challenging CircumstancesLessons from an 80-year-old Mayan WomanThe Secret to Happiness in RelationshipsThe Relationship Between Money and HappinessTaking Responsibility for Our Own HappinessThe Futility of Wanting Our Partner to ChangeThe Impact of Negative Sentiment OverrideCreating a Happiness Fitness PlanThe Power of Alpha Brain WavesEmbracing Emotions and Practicing GratitudeTaking Care of Our Physical BodiesLessons from an 80-year-old Guatemalan Grandmother

Values Course “Sync Up: Aligning Values & Vision For Lasting Love” is now available! Get registered here: https://stan.store/masteryourmarriage/p/in-sync-together-aligning-values--visionIf you have a question you would like addressed, call us! Leave your question in a recorded message which we may select to be played on a future episode. That question line is 801-669-8513.Summary:In this episode, Robert and Sharla Snow discuss the challenge of difficult conversations and the consequences of the silent treatment in relationships. They explain the difference between silence and the silent treatment, highlighting the importance of avoiding the latter. The hosts also explore the reasons why people use the silent treatment and the emotional abuse it can cause. They provide solutions for breaking the silence, including acknowledging the issue, overcoming fear, and seeking help if needed.Takeaways:Difficult conversations are necessary in relationships, and avoiding them can lead to emotional distance.The silent treatment is a form of emotional abuse that can make the recipient feel rejected and unimportant.Silence can be acceptable in certain situations, such as taking a break during a heated conversation or removing oneself from verbal abuse.To break the silence, it is important to acknowledge the issue, communicate honestly and without blame, and keep trying even if it is challenging.Chapters: 02:29 The Consequences of the Silent Treatment03:55 Difference Between Silence and the Silent Treatment05:46 The Silent Treatment as Emotional Abuse07:09 Reasons for Using the Silent Treatment09:31 Avoiding the Silent Treatment13:16 Research on the Silent Treatment15:10 Solutions: Breaking the Silence17:04 Acknowledging the Silence19:51 Overcoming Fear of Addressing the Silence23:41 Keep Trying and Seek Help if Needed24:10 ConclusionOther research and resources mentioned in this episode:Schrodt P, Witt P, Shimkowski J. A meta-analytical review of the demand/withdraw pattern of interaction and its associations with individual, relational, and communicative outcomes. Communication Monographs, 2014;81(1):28. doi:10.1080/03637751.2013.81363Additional Reading:https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC3218801/

Values Course “Sync Up: Aligning Values & Vision For Lasting Love” now available! Get registered here: https://stan.store/masteryourmarriage/p/in-sync-together-aligning-values--visionIf you have a question you would like addressed, call us! Leave your question in a recorded message which we may select to be played on a future episode. That question line is 801-669-8513.SummaryIn this episode, Robert and Sharla Snow discuss gridlocked conflicts in relationships, inspired by a listener's question about managing conflicts with in-laws. They explain the three types of conflicts: solvable, perpetual, and gridlock, with gridlock problems being the most challenging. They emphasize the importance of approaching gridlock problems with compassion and acceptance, as well as seeking to understand each other's perspectives. They caution against criticizing, using the four horsemen (criticism, contempt, defensiveness, and stonewalling), and instead encourage calm and positive communication. They also provide guidance on how to start a gentle conversation to address gridlock problems.TakeawaysGridlock problems in relationships are the most challenging and can lead to emotional disengagement and relationship breakdown.Approach gridlock problems with compassion, acceptance, and understanding of each other's perspectives.Avoid criticizing, using the four horsemen, and coming in hot during conversations about gridlock problems.Seek to understand each other's values and dreams that are in conflict, and prioritize dialogue and compromise.ChaptersListener Question: Managing Big ConflictsTypes of Conflicts: Solvable, Perpetual, and GridlockUnderstanding Gridlock ProblemsThe Danger of Gridlock ProblemsApproaching Gridlock Problems with Compassion and AcceptanceRecognizing and Addressing Gridlock ProblemsThe Importance of Acceptance and CompassionWhat Not to Do: Criticizing and Using the Four HorsemenWhat to Do: Seek Understanding and DialogueGetting to the Root of the ProblemTurning the Cart Around and Seeking HelpRole Play: Starting a Gentle Conversation

Be sure to check out our new course, “In Sync Together: Aligning Values and Vision” In this episode, Sharla and Robert are joined by author, coach, and licensed therapist Colleen O'Grady for an insightful discussion on parenting, relationships, and the impact one has on the other. We talk about the challenges faced by parents, with a special focus on how these stresses can affect a couple's relationship, citing a statistic that 67% of relationships experience extreme dissatisfaction within the first three years of parenting. The episode presents practical solutions for maintaining a strong connection despite the strains of parenting and shares proven strategies for managing life transitions. Apart from that, we also explore the importance of rituals, appreciation, love maps, and turning toward each other when experiencing challenging times. Tune in for this valuable discussion whether you are a parent, considering becoming one, or someone seeking ways to smoothen life transitions with their significant other.Today you’ll hear about:02:37 The Impact of Parenting on Couples03:42 The Importance of Relationship Skills03:54 The Influence of Childhood Experiences on Relationships06:37 The Role of Conflict in Relationships11:59 The Importance of Understanding in Conflict Resolution19:52 The Role of Friendship in Maintaining Connection24:36 The Importance of Rituals in Relationships25:13 The Importance of Daily Rituals in Relationships25:19 The Power of High Fives and Hugs: Non-Negotiables in a Day26:03 The State of the Union: Weekly Meetings for Connection26:22 Stress Relieving Conversations: A Daily Ritual27:21 The Role of Rituals in Strengthening Relationships28:09 The Importance of Intentionality in Relationships28:37 Turning Towards Each Other: A Key to Connection29:04 The Power of Turning Towards in Difficult Times33:19 The Power of Bids for Connection37:36 The Role of Love Maps in Navigating Relationships39:45 The Importance of Staying Current in Each Other's Lives41:49 The Importance of Appreciation in Relationships42:41 The Impact of Appreciation on Emotional Bank Accounts47:04 The Power of Pride in Relationships48:51 Final Thoughts and Advice for ParentsMYM Resources:8 Pillars Of An Exceptional Marriage - ​​https://masteryourmarriagepodcast.com/8-pillarsBecome FREE of resentment ➡️  https://forgive.masteryourmarriagepodcast.com/Connect with Robert and Sharla Snow:Website: https://masteryourmarriagepodcast.com/Instagram - https://www.instagram.com/masteryourmarriage/Facebook - https://facebook.com/masteryourmarriageTikTok - https://www.tiktok.com/@masteryourmarriage

“People will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel.” - Maya AngelouOne of the greatest gifts you can give your spouse is a calm nervous system. That’s what co-regulation is: The way in which one person's nervous system influences another person's nervous system, creating a sense of safety and soothing. Co-regulation can be medicine for an activated, stressed-out nervous system, and as a result, it can create tremendous safety in relationships.But it’s different from codependency – we’re not just counting on our partners to control how we feel. Instead, we use the strength that co-regulation gives us to self-regulate for longer periods of time.Tune in for practical ideas to co-regulate with your partner. Even if your partner isn’t into all of this, there are things YOU can do to improve your relationship dynamic.“When little people are overwhelmed with big emotions, it is our job to share our calm, not join in their chaos.” L.R. KnostResources Mentioned In This Episode:Polyvagal Theory - https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC3108032/#:~:text=The%20polyvagal%20theory%20proposes%20that,substrates%20for%20adaptive%20behavioral%20strategies Recommended Reading: https://a.co/d/9sZ0gv5MYM Resources:8 Pillars Of An Exceptional Marriage - ​​https://masteryourmarriagepodcast.com/8-pillarsBecome FREE of resentment ➡️  https://forgive.masteryourmarriagepodcast.com/Connect with Robert and Sharla Snow:Website: https://masteryourmarriagepodcast.com/Instagram - https://www.instagram.com/masteryourmarriage/Facebook - https://facebook.com/masteryourmarriageTikTok - https://www.tiktok.com/@masteryourmarriage

“Safety is not just the absence of threat.” - Sharla SnowDo you feel safe in your relationship? Does your spouse feel safe?What does ‘safety’ mean in this context? Well, more than just physical safety, it involves feeling safe, connected, and like your walls are down when you’re together.Safety in relationships cannot be overlooked. A person’s perceived safety is the foundation for healthy connection. And just because you love someone, it doesn’t always mean you feel safe with them.In this episode, Sharla and Robert are going to dive into the science behind these feelings of safety [or threat] and provide tips for creating safety in your relationships.Resources Mentioned In This Episode:Polyvagal Theory - https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC3108032/#:~:text=The%20polyvagal%20theory%20proposes%20that,substrates%20for%20adaptive%20behavioral%20strategies Recommended reading - https://a.co/d/bq822BsMYM Resources:8 Pillars Of An Exceptional Marriage - ​​https://masteryourmarriagepodcast.com/8-pillarsBecome FREE of resentment ➡️  https://forgive.masteryourmarriagepodcast.com/Connect with Robert and Sharla Snow:Website: https://masteryourmarriagepodcast.com/Instagram - https://www.instagram.com/masteryourmarriage/Facebook - https://facebook.com/masteryourmarriageTikTok - https://www.tiktok.com/@masteryourmarriage

It’s no surprise that physical touch is an important aspect of relationships – but did you know that it has numerous benefits, including reducing stress, improving bonding, and regulating the nervous system?So why do so many people struggle with physical touch? (Even when it’s not sexual…)Well, your childhood experiences can shape your relationship with touch, and if you’re experiencing difficulty with physical touch, it is important to reflect on and heal any past wounds or conditioning related to touch.This episode will help you understand where to start and give you some practical steps for creating a safe space with your partner.Resources Mentioned In This Episode:A Study on Social Contact https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/17201784/ MYM Resources:8 Pillars Of An Exceptional Marriage - ​​https://masteryourmarriagepodcast.com/8-pillarsBecome FREE of resentment ➡️  https://forgive.masteryourmarriagepodcast.com/Connect with Robert and Sharla Snow:Website: https://masteryourmarriagepodcast.com/Instagram - https://www.instagram.com/masteryourmarriage/Facebook - https://facebook.com/masteryourmarriageTikTok - https://www.tiktok.com/@masteryourmarriage

“All successful businesses have a vision statement. In businesses, if we don’t have a goal, it’s just a wish or a hope. And hope is not a good business strategy. Much the same in our relationships.” - Robert Snow In marriage, like in life, success takes intentionality. Sure, we have ‘chemistry’ and that’s a beautiful, natural way in which we connect. But once life kicks in with annoyances, differences, and the general challenges of being human, chemistry fades, and what you have left is two people who need to figure out how to make it work. A vision statement for your marriage ensures that you’re both on the same page about where you want your relationship to go and what you’ll be doing to get there. Tune in to learn where to start, what to include, and to get inspired by ideas that will refresh your marriage in 2024.MYM Resources:8 Pillars Of An Exceptional Marriage - ​​https://masteryourmarriagepodcast.com/8-pillarsMake 2024 the year that you let go ➡️  https://forgive.masteryourmarriagepodcast.com/Connect with Robert and Sharla Snow:Website: https://masteryourmarriagepodcast.com/Instagram - https://www.instagram.com/masteryourmarriage/Facebook - https://facebook.com/masteryourmarriageTikTok - https://www.tiktok.com/@masteryourmarriage

You know that feeling of growing apart from your spouse over the years, where intimacy and passion seem to fade into the background as life gets busy?In this episode, Robert and Sharla join Hailey Babcock of The Body Pod to provide a glimpse of hope in their discussion of rebuilding sex, intimacy, and friendship in marriage. They share from their own experience turning things around after a rough patch, and offer practical steps like establishing daily rituals, prioritizing quality time together, and learning each other's love languages to rekindle that closeness. Reconnecting at the deepest level will require developing self-awareness and emotional maturity to be truly vulnerable with your partner - this will allow intimacy to blossom once again.Resources Mentioned In This Episode:Passionate Marriage by Dr. David Schnarch -  https://a.co/d/4CPF8UkIntimacy & Desire by Dr. David Schnarch - https://a.co/d/4f6r0hI The 5 Love Languages by Gary Chapman - https://a.co/d/4Z4rsZI Everything Isn't Terrible by Kathleen Smith - https://a.co/d/9if0o30 MYM Resources:8 Pillars Of An Exceptional Marriage - ​​https://masteryourmarriagepodcast.com/8-pillarsBecome FREE of resentment ➡️  https://forgive.masteryourmarriagepodcast.com/Connect with Hailey Babcock:Instagram - https://www.instagram.com/haileyhappensfitness?igsh=OGQ5ZDc2ODk2ZA==Connect with Robert and Sharla Snow:Website: https://masteryourmarriagepodcast.com/Instagram - https://www.instagram.com/masteryourmarriage/Facebook - https://facebook.com/masteryourmarriageTikTok - https://www.tiktok.com/@masteryourmarriage

When we come to the seemingly inevitable place in our marriage where the spark is just gone, is there a possibility of revitalizing eroticism and passion back into the relationship?ABSOLUTELY. There’s a crazy myth out there that eroticism dies over time – like it’s something that can’t be controlled. But the truth is, you have a choice to rekindle that sexual desire and excitement.The key to reviving eroticism lies in coming alive within yourself and letting go of resentment, anxieties, insecurities, and self-doubt. These things are often overlooked as a source for a lost spark but will often be the root of disconnection in the bedroom.But by prioritizing great sex and being open to creativity and imagination, couples can experience a higher level of satisfaction and a thriving relationship. Tune in to get inspired about your next sexual encounter with your spouse.Resources Mentioned In This Episode:Passionate Marriage by Dr. David Schnarch -  https://a.co/d/4CPF8UkOrgasm Study - https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/28213723/Women Masturbation Study - https://www.tandfonline.com/doi/full/10.1080/0092623X.2011.628440The Hite Report: A National Study of Female Sexuality - https://a.co/d/4ZlBFOQ MYM Resources:8 Pillars Of An Exceptional Marriage - ​​https://masteryourmarriagepodcast.com/8-pillarsBecome FREE of resentment ➡️  https://forgive.masteryourmarriagepodcast.com/Connect with Robert and Sharla Snow:Website: https://masteryourmarriagepodcast.com/Instagram - https://www.instagram.com/masteryourmarriage/Facebook - https://facebook.com/masteryourmarriageTikTok - https://www.tiktok.com/@masteryourmarriage

If you’ve pressed play on this episode today because you’re struggling with sex in your marriage in some form, please know, you’re not alone. A lot of people and a lot of couples experience difficulties with sex. The good news is you’re here, and this episode is going to help you overcome a lot of the mental barriers that can actually be creating this challenge.“Many of the words or thoughts we use come from societal myths. But as these ideas are repeated over and over in the psyche, they will determine whether sex becomes the source of joy and mutual pleasure, or whether they become a source of disappointment and resentment.” - Robert SnowResources for an improved sexual experience:The Vagina Bible - https://a.co/d/h5ACDIxCome As You Are: Revised and Updated - https://a.co/d/44fwQIAMYM Resources:8 Pillars Of An Exceptional Marriage - ​​https://masteryourmarriagepodcast.com/8-pillarsBecome FREE of resentment ➡️  https://forgive.masteryourmarriagepodcast.com/Connect with Robert and Sharla Snow:Website: https://masteryourmarriagepodcast.com/Instagram - https://www.instagram.com/masteryourmarriage/Facebook - https://facebook.com/masteryourmarriageTikTok - https://www.tiktok.com/@masteryourmarriag

Break free from resentment today ➡️  https://forgive.masteryourmarriagepodcast.com/So you’ve heard about the 5 love languages. But have you heard about meta-emotions?Simply put, meta-emotion is how we feel about our feelings.And mismatching meta-emotions (how you feel about emotions vs how your partner feels about emotions) is probably the single most common reason couples present for counseling. Like love languages, when your partner speaks a different emotional language than you, it can cause a lot of problems in the relationship and create disconnection. It tends to lead to comments and thoughts like, “You never listen to me,” or, “They just don’t get me.”A common mismatch of meta-emotions represents this way: one person is expressive about their emotions and the other might be more dismissive, just trying to repress any negativity.Tune in to better understand where you lie on this spectrum of meta-emotion and how to coexist in these differences.“Differing emotional philosophies could be at the root of many of your relationship issues.” - SharlaMYM Resources:8 Pillars Of An Exceptional Marriage - ​​https://masteryourmarriagepodcast.com/8-pillarsLet this $20 Forgiveness course transform your marriage ➡️  https://forgive.masteryourmarriagepodcast.com/Connect with Robert and Sharla Snow:Website: https://masteryourmarriagepodcast.com/Instagram - https://www.instagram.com/masteryourmarriage/Facebook - https://facebook.com/masteryourmarriageTikTok - https://www.tiktok.com/@masteryourmarriage

In this powerful episode, Antonio Neves sits down with Robert and Sharla Snow to discuss the secrets to relationship success. Some of the key topics covered include:Marriage phases and how to grow through themRed flags like contempt, complacency, and ignoring bids for connection Practical ways to put your spouse first, like daily rituals and prioritizing quality timeDeveloping marital fitness with stress-reducing conversations and acts of serviceThe importance of managing conflict positively and growing togetherSpeaking words of appreciation daily to counteract the toxicity of contemptIf you're looking to strengthen your relationship, tune into this must-listen episode for evidence-based insights and action steps you can start applying today.Resources Mentioned In This Episode:Gottman Research - https://www.gottman.com/about/research/ MYM Resources:8 Pillars Of An Exceptional Marriage - ​​https://masteryourmarriagepodcast.com/8-pillarsBecome FREE of resentment ➡️  https://forgive.masteryourmarriagepodcast.com/Connect with Antonio Neves:Website - https://theantonioneves.com/ Instagram - https://www.instagram.com/theantonioneves/ Connect with Robert and Sharla Snow:Website: https://masteryourmarriagepodcast.com/Instagram - https://www.instagram.com/masteryourmarriage/Facebook - https://facebook.com/masteryourmarriageTikTok - https://www.tiktok.com/@masteryourmarriage

💔Don’t let resentment fester - overcome it with these tools: https://forgive.masteryourmarriagepodcast.com/ Conflict is inevitable. And if we can’t avoid it, what should we do instead? Shall we get in the fetal position and rock ourselves to sleep? Pretend conflict doesn't exist?Obviously not, guys. This is called Master Your Marriage, not Mess Up Your Marriage. So if we know that conflict is inevitable, we know there’s a certain level of acceptance that we need to grow in. But what else can we do to make sure that the conflict doesn’t become ‘the end’? Well, we practice repair.Taking responsibility for your role in conflict is going to be key. But then you’re also going to want to practice some crucial friendship principles that are going to help lighten the mood and rebuild connection.Tune in to learn how to repair the ruptures in your relationship.In this Episode:- Why relationships are a system set up for failure- Why and how failure is the solution-The ability to repair is the key for success in a relationship- Asking your partner about offenses- The secret weapon of repair- How to remain good friendsAnd more!Resources Mentioned In This Episode:The Science of Trust:  https://a.co/d/d9zT2Mu Mother/child study: https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC2654842/How to Work Through a Past Fight - https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/how-to-work-through-a-past-fight/id1669788601?i=1000611554391 or on YouTube: https://youtu.be/B8th4hCRtTk?si=7xpmfd-XuDD8olHk MYM Resources:8 Pillars Of An Exceptional Marriage - ​​https://masteryourmarriagepodcast.com/8-pillarsBecome FREE of resentment ➡️  https://forgive.masteryourmarriagepodcast.com/Connect with Robert and Sharla Snow:Website: https://masteryourmarriagepodcast.com/Instagram - https://www.instagram.com/masteryourmarriage/Facebook - https://facebook.com/masteryourmarriageTikTok - https://www.tiktok.com/@masteryourmarriage

“Needing may feel like wanting, but it comes from the worst in us. It comes from a poorly developed sense of self, where we need our partner to soothe our anxiety, boost our ego, and constantly agree with us.” - SharlaOuch, that hurts, doesn’t it? We all know that being called “needy” comes with a negative connotation. But you’re not needy, right? You’re just expressing your preferences and your desires…Well, let’s see how many times we’ve probably been guilty of turning our wants into a NEED…Have you ever:Stayed angry and miserable so you can keep your partner miserable?People-pleased yourself into resentment when you’re not getting praised for your deeds?Required tons of praise and compliments to feel loved?Withheld doing something until your partner did their part?Don’t worry, it’s in all of us. We all want to be wanted. But when we don’t get what we want, it can become a slippery slope for Need to come bursting in making demands.The good news is, there’s a way to overcome the neediness and mature into loving relationships that honor both individuals involved. Tune in to learn how.“This is also why the level of intimacy you will have in your relationship WILL be directly correlated to how much discomfort you can handle.” - Robert SnowIn this Episode:- Needing vs. Wanting- Examples of neediness- How Wanting differs from Needing- How to know if you’re wanting or needing- Disillusionment — really knowing your partner- Love is about choosing- How to shift your needs to wants and choosingResources Mentioned In This Episode:Everything isn’t Terrible by Dr. Kathleen Smith https://a.co/d/ilXvpfg MYM Resources:8 Pillars Of An Exceptional Marriage - ​​https://masteryourmarriagepodcast.com/8-pillarsBecome FREE of resentment ➡️  https://forgive.masteryourmarriagepodcast.com/Connect with Robert and Sharla Snow:Website: https://masteryourmarriagepodcast.com/Instagram - https://www.instagram.com/masteryourmarriage/Facebook - https://facebook.com/masteryourmarriageTikTok - https://www.tiktok.com/@masteryourmarriage

This $20 mini-course can help you overcome resentment ➡️  https://forgive.masteryourmarriagepodcast.com/Robert’s back on this episode of the Master Your Marriage Podcast, and together, he and Sharla are going to help you change how you think about your relationship.We often don’t give thoughts the credit they deserve. But our thoughts have so much power over the world around us. Including our relationships. Are your thoughts about your partner based on resentment? Are they even true? Are they mostly positive or mostly negative?If you haven’t stopped to assess your own thoughts recently, this episode is going to shine some light on areas where maybe you are subconsciously affecting your relationship with the wrong thoughts.“We think ourselves into more problems than we realize.” - SharlaIn this Episode:- Should she stay with him?- How thoughts work and impact our actions- Fixed mindset vs. Growth mindset- Absolute red flags of resentment- Dealing with unwanted thoughtsMYM Resources:8 Pillars Of An Exceptional Marriage - ​​https://masteryourmarriagepodcast.com/8-pillarsConnect with Robert and Sharla Snow:Website: https://masteryourmarriagepodcast.com/Instagram - https://www.instagram.com/masteryourmarriage/Facebook - https://facebook.com/masteryourmarriageTikTok - https://www.tiktok.com/@masteryourmarriage

This $20 mini-course can help you overcome resentment ➡️  https://forgive.masteryourmarriagepodcast.com/ Realizing that the partner you chose to be married to will likely never give you the life you always envisioned for yourself can be a pretty terrifying reality…So, how do you hold onto your dignity and self-respect when it becomes clear that your partner can’t give you what you want?When this is the case, is there even a chance your relationship can make it without being miserable for the rest of your lives?Well, the answer is yes. But it’s going to take work.It comes down to learning how to differentiate. And that’s YOU work. Not them.So what is differentiation exactly? It’s ALLOWING someone to really matter to you, really know you, and then being able to regulate your sense of self, when that person doesn’t give you the validation you want.And it’s extremely difficult work.Because, let’s be honest, most of us can all be regulated and mature when we’re getting exactly what we want. But what happens when we’re not? That is when you really get to see where you need to grow. And this is likely where your marriage is requiring you to step up. So, tune in to learn how to practice differentiation.“I think when we recognize that we are fallible, it is a little easier to accept that other people are fallible, too.” - SharlaIn this Episode:- How to move forward in marital crisis- What is Differentiation?- What does it mean to be Invalidated?- How divorce and separation reveal who we are- Tips for working on differentiationAnd more!MYM Resources:8 Pillars Of An Exceptional Marriage - ​​https://masteryourmarriagepodcast.com/8-pillarsConnect with Robert and Sharla Snow:Website: https://masteryourmarriagepodcast.com/Instagram - https://www.instagram.com/masteryourmarriage/Facebook - https://facebook.com/masteryourmarriageTikTok - https://www.tiktok.com/@masteryourmarriage

***If you're struggling with resentment, please consider joining our Forgiveness Mini-Course https://www.masteryourmarriagepodcast.com/forgive***“Why can’t we stick to focusing on happy, positive things, rather than creating problems where problems don’t exist?” - Person on Social MediaThis was the question that came their way as Sharla and Robert shared about their weekly meeting agenda which included asking each other if there was anything they’ve done to hurt each other that should be processed and forgiven.Well, Person on Social Media, buckle up. Your mind is about to get blown.In this episode, we’re covering a lot of deep and also scientific ways our minds work. From inaccurate memories, to negative and positive sentiment override, and even how resentment manifests as physical pain, there’s an abundance of evidence that shows that letting go is better for you than holding on.Tune in to listen to stories of forgiveness and strategies for how to break free from resentment. “Forgiveness is to set a prisoner free, and to discover the prisoner was you.” - Lewis B. SmedesIn this Episode:- Where do unprocessed hurts go?- Negative sentiment override- Why memories are not reliable markers- What you compromise when you hold onto resentment- Misconceptions about forgiveness- What if you don’t know who you’re needing to forgive?- What is Ho'oponopono?MYM Resources:8 Pillars Of An Exceptional Marriage - ​​https://masteryourmarriagepodcast.com/8-pillarsConnect with Robert and Sharla Snow:Website: https://masteryourmarriagepodcast.com/Instagram - https://www.instagram.com/masteryourmarriage/Facebook - https://facebook.com/masteryourmarriageTikTok - https://www.tiktok.com/@masteryourmarriage

“We steal our partner’s choices from them by not being honest.” - Robert SnowYou’ve seen those couples that just seem like they have it all together, haven’t you? They’re so good it’s almost gross. Robert calls these “unicorn relationships,” but whatever you call them, you just know they’re pretty extraordinary. So, what sets them apart? Why are they just so darn good at being together?It comes down to integrity. From doing what they say they’re going to do to looking in the mirror and admitting fault when they make mistakes, good couples are honest even when it’s not easy. So, the question is, can you handle the truth?MYM Resources:8 Pillars Of An Exceptional Marriage - ​​https://masteryourmarriagepodcast.com/8-pillarsConnect with Robert and Sharla Snow:Website: https://masteryourmarriagepodcast.com/Instagram - https://www.instagram.com/masteryourmarriage/Facebook - https://facebook.com/masteryourmarriageTikTok - https://www.tiktok.com/@masteryourmarriage

Have you found yourself wondering lately - is this all there is? Today, let’s uncover the sneaky ways complacency can creep into even the strongest relationships.In this episode, you'll learn:The subtle ways taking your partner for granted can start to pull you apartRed flags to watch for, like disregarding opinions, and brushing off bids for connectionThe power of discovering each other's core valuesAnd so much more.Sharla and Robert will guide you through their practical and simple approaches to building meaningful rituals to rekindle that spark. Tune in to prevent complacency from taking hold.MYM Resources:8 Pillars Of An Exceptional Marriage - ​​https://masteryourmarriagepodcast.com/8-pillarsConnect with Robert and Sharla Snow:Website: https://masteryourmarriagepodcast.com/Instagram - https://www.instagram.com/masteryourmarriage/Facebook - https://facebook.com/masteryourmarriageTikTok - https://www.tiktok.com/@masteryourmarriage

Do you shudder at the touch of your partner? Do you feel on edge and easily triggered lately?You might not even know where it’s coming from – it just happens suddenly. And it makes having sex extremely difficult.If this describes you, you’re not alone. Most couples will experience a sense of disconnection with their partner at some point(s) in their relationship. Life happens, people change, and negative anchors start taking deep holds in our mood together.In this episode, Sharla and Robert discuss a very simple but profoundly helpful exercise that could help you and your partner break the wall standing between you.Fifteen minutes is all you need.Need extra help reconnecting with your partner? Consider signing up for coaching. https://masteryourmarriagepodcast.com/apply-for-coaching In this Episode:The benefits of HuggingBenefit 1: Building connection and intimacyBenefit 2: Rewiring triggers (Negative anchors)Benefit 3: Regulating your nervous systemThe 15 minute exercise that rewires our connectionStep 1 - Calm downStep 2 - Stand face to faceStep 3 - Move forwardStep 4 - Get comfortableStep 5 - Quiet yourself downAnd so much more!Resources Mentioned:Hugging until Relaxed Exercise comes from “The Passionate Marriage” book by David Schnarch https://a.co/d/hvYyLuJ Ivan Pavlov’s Theory of Conditioned Reflex: https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/books/NBK470326/#:~:text=To%20test%20his%20theory%2C%20Pavlov,sound%20of%20the%20bell%20aloneMYM Resources:8 Pillars Of An Exceptional Marriage - ​​https://masteryourmarriagepodcast.com/8-pillarsConnect with Robert and Sharla Snow:Website: https://masteryourmarriagepodcast.com/Instagram - https://www.instagram.com/masteryourmarriage/Facebook - https://facebook.com/masteryourmarriageTikTok - https://www.tiktok.com/@masteryourmarriage

“Most people are going to have two or three marriages or committed relationships in their adult life. Some of us will have them with the same person." - Esther PerelIt was just one marriage ceremony between Sharla and Robert but if you knew them as a couple in the last three decades, the distinct differences in who they were together would paint 3 completely different pictures. Like asking a child, an artist, and a color-blind person to paint the same image. They’d unlikely look even remotely similar.Change is imminent. It cannot be avoided. So, what do we do when our relationships are being put to the test? We BURN OUR BOATS.We evolve as individuals and as couples, and while sometimes that change can be painful, by burning our boats (and bridges), we decide that it’s better not to hold onto what’s familiar.If you can tolerate the discomfort of growth, together, one day, you’ll realize the incredible meaning and richness that comes to your life for making it through together.Tune in to hear how Robert and Sharla’s relationship has dramatically shifted from a once self-centered validation machine to a now connected and renewed supportive partnership.In this Episode:"Burn The Boats" principlesRedefining our relationship1st Marriage: Infatuation and ValidationPattern Interrupt; Being out of sync2nd Marriage - Complacency3rd Marriage - Renewal and Reconnection; Our Most True SelfAnd so much more!Resources Mentioned:“When your army has crossed the border, you should burn your boats and bridges, in order to make it clear to everybody that you have no hankering after home.” ― Sun Tzu, The Art of WarMYM Resources:8 Pillars Of An Exceptional Marriage - ​​https://masteryourmarriagepodcast.com/8-pillarsConnect with Robert and Sharla Snow:Website: https://masteryourmarriagepodcast.com/Instagram - https://www.instagram.com/masteryourmarriage/Facebook - https://facebook.com/masteryourmarriageTikTok - https://www.tiktok.com/@masteryourmarriage

AI has taken over the business world. But can it help in marriage too?Maybe… if you ask it to plan dates for you. Or write your spouse a poem…No, instead, we’re in an era where we should be asking, “If not intellect, what other skill makes me stand out amongst the robots?”The answer? Emotional Intelligence. Or EQ.The ability to understand your own emotions and to accurately perceive the emotions of others is actually a skill many of us struggle with (one that robots haven’t learned yet either).But without EQ, marriages, and relationships in general, suffer. In fact, Gottman’s research has shown that the 8 predictors for divorce have ONE major theme in common: Low Emotional Intelligence.And this same research was 90-94% accurate at predicting which couples would make it and which ones wouldn’t, by the way…That’s why Sharla and Robert are walking us through 3 ways we can work towards strengthening our emotional intelligence. So, if you’re ready to become smarter than the robots, tune in and gain the skills to improve conflict resolution, resilience, and empathy.“Any person capable of angering you becomes your master.” - EpictetusIn this Episode:What is Emotional Intelligence (EQ)?How EQ helps us strengthen our marriage and endure tough timesRecap on Gottman’s researchThe importance of self-awareness and knowing who you areTaking responsibility for reactions and responses How EQ thrives on Empathy And so much more!Resources Mentioned:The Gottman Method - The couples therapy technique discussedMYM Resources:8 Pillars Of An Exceptional Marriage - ​​https://masteryourmarriagepodcast.com/8-pillarsConnect with Robert and Sharla Snow:Website: http://masteryourmarriagepodcast.com/Instagram - https://www.instagram.com/masteryourmarriage/Facebook - http://facebook.com/masteryourmarriageTikTok - https://www.tiktok.com/@masteryourmarriage

Sharla and Robert are on the hot seat today as Deevo from “A Little Impolite” Podcast questions them on all things marriage, divorce, infidelity, substance abuse,&nbsp; childhood trauma, and even religion.It’s clear by the numbers on success rate that Marriage isn’t always easy. Here are some that are discussed on this episode:Since the early 1900s, the average age of first marriage has risen to 28 for women and 30 for men, compared to 21 for women and 24 for men historically.Cohabitation before marriage has increased over 900% in the last 50 years.In 1960, 72% of all adults were married but by 2000 that number dropped to 50%.The percentage of children living with two parents declined from 80-88% to 69% in the early 2000s.Contempt is the number one predictor of divorceThe landscape of marriage is changing. With over 30 years of marriage under their own belts, Sharla and Robert provide a wealth of wisdom from their experiences helping countless couples.For anyone questioning the meaning of marriage or seeking to strengthen their own relationship, this episode offers meaningful takeaways and insights. Sharla and Robert demonstrate how communication, mutual understanding and personal development are keys to finding fulfillment whether married or not.Tune in if you dare be challenged.“The beauty of this thing is that she will help me, my partner will help me to become a better person, by uncovering some of that crap that I need to deal with. Then I can learn to grow, and I can learn how to get past it.” - Robert“I think a lot of us use our kids as a way to not deal with this stuff in our relationship. It's a little bit of a scapegoat. And that's not a good thing. There's a way to do both. There is a way to create an actual win-win. And that's not a win-win.” - SharlaIn this Episode:There is no one-size-fits-all approach.How we handle disagreements and conflicts says a lot about the health of a relationship.Being able to understand each other's perspectives, regulate emotions and compromise are important skills.Unresolved childhood trauma can unconsciously impact our adult behaviors if not addressed.&nbsp;Fulfilling long-term relationships takes ongoing communication, mutual understanding and a willingness from both partners to support each other through challenges.&nbsp;Personal development benefits individuals and the relationship.And so much more!Resources Mentioned:The Gottman Method - The couples therapy technique discussedMYM Resources:8 Pillars Of An Exceptional Marriage - ​​https://masteryourmarriagepodcast.com/8-pillarsConnect with Deevo Tindall:Check out A Little Impolite HERELinkedIn -&nbsp; https://www.linkedin.com/in/fusionphotog/&nbsp;Instagram - <a...

When you get married, it’s easy to become consumed in the togetherness of it all. But can too much togetherness be a bad thing? What about too much individuality?If your path to “becoming one” has felt a lot like losing two selves, this episode is for you.Robert and Sharla experienced this early on in their own relationship. Their past experiences shaped their patterns in marriage, and between abandonment issues and subconscious manipulation, they were doing more harm to their relationship than good. They were counting on each other heavily to validate their individual self.But they were losing themselves in the process. And not taking any ownership for it. Putting so much pressure on the perfection of the other to make up the difference.And that’s where differentiation comes into play. What is differentiation? The short answer is that it’s the ability to balance attachment and autonomy. Becoming responsible for your part in the equation.Tune in to find out why well-differentiated couples don't need to control each other and how it can have a positive impact on intimacy, sex, and conflict resolution.&nbsp;“Most of us marry and subconsciously hope that we are locked into this validation system. Someone to give us all the validation that we ever wanted. To continue propping us up [...] to make us feel worthy, smart, and good about ourselves. Giving us this positive reflected sense of self.” - Robert“But, it's not real. It’s a borrowed sense of self. And that makes it fleeting, that makes it fragile.” - SharlaIn this Episode:How your Coping Strategies might be affecting your marriageAre you lacking emotional and psychological maturity?What is differentiation and why does it matter?Developing a Strong Sense of SelfBorrowed Functioning: Are you dependent on external validation?What does it look like to be a well-differentiated individual?Debunking Misconceptions about DifferentiationThe Paradox of ControlBenefits of DifferentiationAnd so much more!Resources Mentioned:Book: Intimacy and Desire by Dr. David Schnarch https://www.amazon.com/Intimacy-Desire-Awaken-Passion-Relationship/dp/0825305675&nbsp;MYM Resources:8 Pillars Of An Exceptional Marriage - ​​https://masteryourmarriagepodcast.com/8-pillarsConnect with Robert and Sharla Snow:Website: http://masteryourmarriagepodcast.com/Instagram - https://www.instagram.com/masteryourmarriage/Facebook - http://facebook.com/masteryourmarriageTikTok - https://www.tiktok.com/@masteryourmarriage

Do any of these describe you and your relationship?- You love your spouse, but you sort of hate being alone with them- When you’re alone with your spouse, you feel bored, anxious, or uncomfortable- You’re so stressed out in life, but when you try to relax, you just can’t- You don’t trust your spouse to go on trips together without it becoming a negative experience- You’re getting bored with your sex life- Or maybe, you’ve felt like this about your spouse: “I don’t even know if I love you or if I want to be married to you.” Even if you said yes to just one of those, it could be time to consider taking a vacation with your spouse ALONE. That means no kids, no social media, no friends, no buffers…Work, life, finances, kids – it can all tend to make us distracted, stressed, or even disconnected from our spouses. Even when you’re doing date nights, and trying to be intentional about connecting with your spouse within your regular life schedule, there’s a lingering sense of life’s demands just begging for your attention.If you’re not careful, this could have painful repercussions in the long run.&nbsp;So, for the sake of your marriage’s future, tune in to this episode to learn how couple-only vacations can lead to better communication, rekindled romance, and stronger emotional connections."Lack of deliberate connection can turn us into strangers" - Robert Snow“A lack of intentional effort is leading to significant detachment and missed chances for connection.” - Sharla SnowIn this Episode:How novel experiences trigger your brain's reward system, leading to those feelings of early-stage romantic attraction.How couple-only vacations introduce novelty into your relationship, sparking renewed passion and connection.How getting away can reignite your sex life.Understand how couple-only vacations offer unhurried conversations, a precious opportunity to delve into deep discussions.Couple-only vacations as an investment in your relationship and individual well-beingGain insights into budget-friendly travel ideas and effective planning strategies to overcome common challenges.And so much more!MYM Resources:8 Pillars Of An Exceptional Marriage - ​​https://masteryourmarriagepodcast.com/8-pillarsConnect with Robert and Sharla Snow:Website: http://masteryourmarriagepodcast.com/Instagram - https://www.instagram.com/masteryourmarriage/Facebook - http://facebook.com/masteryourmarriageTikTok - https://www.tiktok.com/@masteryourmarriage

By the time a couple is ready to call it quits, chances are one, or both, of the parties involved have been complaining for quite some time – and eventually, someone just gets too tired of the complaining.So, how do you avoid becoming THAT couple?Well, you start by accepting influence. Being flexible enough to shift your viewpoint or response based on your partner’s feedback, taking those complaints and letting them affect you — this is what’s necessary to transform your conflicts into opportunities for connection.You might be thinking, “It’s my partner that needs to shift their viewpoint, not me.” Or, “It’s them who needs to be influenced.”Don’t worry. In this episode, we’ve got a secret for how to make yourself more influential too. So, press play as we dive into a “yielding to win” mindset."[Accepting influence] doesn’t mean we have to surrender our deeply held values or dreams, or even agree with everything our partner says ." - Robert Snow“It's crucial to remember that acknowledging your partner's influence doesn't mean you're conceding defeat. It's really just about creating emotional safety and respect, where both of you can express yourselves freely and without fear.” - Sharla SnowIn this Episode:What it means to accept influenceDifferent ways to respond to criticism and requestsHow to become more powerful in the relationshipPhrases you can use to de-escalate criticism and accept influenceAnd so much more!MYM Resources:8 Pillars Of An Exceptional Marriage - ​​https://masteryourmarriagepodcast.com/8-pillarsLink to the MYM 8-Week Coaching Program - https://masteryourmarriagepodcast.com/MYM423Connect with Robert and Sharla Snow:Website: https://masteryourmarriagepodcast.com/Instagram - https://www.instagram.com/masteryourmarriage/Facebook - https://facebook.com/masteryourmarriageTikTok - https://www.tiktok.com/@masteryourmarriage

Compromise never feels perfect.Great, now that we've got that out of the way, let's be honest about what compromise DOES feel like.It can feel like you're giving up too much... like you're losing your identity... Or like your partner is the reason you don't get your dreams fulfilled.Do these resonate with you?Well, good news. It doesn't actually HAVE to feel that way.&nbsp;Gottman research shows that before we start compromising at all, we need to dig deeper into understanding one another to really be able to make compromising decisions. The goal isn't to let go of your dreams, or lower your expectations -- it's to find a solution that honors both of you, and that can't be done if you don't have a strong understanding of the needs, dreams, and core values of your partner.Join us on this episode to learn the 6 steps recipe for compromise. Trust us, it’s a game changer.&nbsp;"Always have the mindset that when you hit an obstacle or conflict, it's a good opportunity to learn and grow together." - Robert SnowIn this Episode:What causes us to vilify each other in the relationshipThe danger of going into resolution mode too fastUnderstanding one another on the deepest levelKnowing yourself more also helps - what can you be flexible about?The temporary nature of compromise&nbsp;And so much more!MYM Resources:8 Pillars Of An Exceptional Marriage - ​​https://masteryourmarriagepodcast.com/8-pillarsConnect with Robert and Sharla Snow:Website: https://masteryourmarriagepodcast.com/Instagram - https://www.instagram.com/masteryourmarriage/Facebook - https://facebook.com/masteryourmarriageTikTok - https://www.tiktok.com/@masteryourmarriage

When do perpetual problems in our relationship become a PROBLEM? When do we need to worry?&nbsp;When partners get so entrenched in their positions, they go into 'gridlock.' And gridlock leads to emotional disengagement and a cascade of isolation – bad news if you're looking to stay in a loving relationship.So how do successful couples handle problems? Sharla and Robert are sharing a powerful communication process that can help you identify what is really going on when you get 'stuck' with your partner. This process fosters real empathy as you seek to understand, not solve.&nbsp;Because the real win-win that we are striving for here is to support each other in our dreams. As we learn to listen and not judge, understand, and not persuade, we learn to grow.&nbsp;And therein lies the opportunity in what we may perceive as an insurmountable problem: personal growth that fuels our capacity for love.&nbsp;Learn too about how 69% of conflicts are perpetual and what it takes to make strides in dealing with them, as well as how to identify the value that lies behind the issue that we are stubbornly staking our identity to.&nbsp;With Robert and Sharla at the wheel, we can soon be well on our way to getting out of gridlock and driving off into a sunset of mutual understanding. Please join us.&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;"Problems aren't the problem. Problems actually provide adaptive value to the individuals who are in the relationship. They increase our capacity to love and find mutual understanding for one another. They essentially grow us up." ~ Sharla Snow"When you pick someone to have a relationship with, you inherently pick the problems that you're going to have for the next 20, 30, 40 years. And if you don't like those problems, you can pick somebody else. But you'll just have a different set of problems for the next 20, 30, or 40 years." ~ Robert SnowIn This Episode:- Why problems aren't the problem: seeing the opportunity to grow- When you choose your partner, you choose your set of problems- Time, Sex, and Money: the 3 biggest sources of conflict for most couples- Understanding the three different types of conflict: solvable, perpetual, and gridlocked- A listening process for cultivating emotional safety and productivity- Learning to understand, not solveAnd so much more!MYM Resources:- 8 Pillars Of An Exceptional Marriage - ​​https://masteryourmarriagepodcast.com/8-pillars- Link to the MYM 8-Week Coaching Program - https://masteryourmarriagepodcast.com/MYM423Connect with Robert and Sharla Snow:- Website: http://masteryourmarriagepodcast.com/- Instagram - https://www.instagram.com/masteryourmarriage/- Facebook - http://facebook.com/masteryourmarriage- TikTok - <a...

How are we building emotional resilience so that we can show up as our higher self in order for our relationship to grow? One proven way is through the power of our breath, something that we are all already doing anyway!Debra Heslin is in conversation today with Sharla Snow, and together, they are exploring ideas around emotional resilience, and creating 'coherence' so that our four connected systems (mental, physical, emotional, and spiritual) are in balance, allowing us to get into a healthy rhythm as we go about facing the day's challenges.&nbsp;Both Debra and Sharla are trainers in Neuro-Linguistic Programming (NLP), and Debra's backstory is that she came from high-powered corporate America, and realized there has to be a better way.&nbsp;Now she is a high-performance coach, specializing in NLP, hypnosis, and timeline therapy – and also a trainer for the HeartMath Institute.&nbsp;Learn all about Heart Math, depleting emotions, and how to practice what we do already anyway (breathe) with volition and awareness that then proffers a different result.&nbsp;We do have control over how we respond to the things that happen to us in life. And with some scientifically proven breathing techniques (and some practice), we begin to breathe in the coherence, hit reset, and shift our baseline for what we are capable of responding to in advance so that we don't have to put out fires later on.&nbsp;We have more choices than we realize we have when life throws us situations that are uncomfortable. And what greater gift can we give to one another than our own inner peace and calm?&nbsp;When we do that, we bring our higher selves to our conversation. Please join us in this highly practical and illuminating episode of Master Your Marriage that all starts with our breath.&nbsp;"Basically, we see the world through how we feel." ~ Debra HeslinIn This Episode:- What is Heart Math?- What does Coherence mean?- Understanding depleting emotions- Learning from the 8 Predictors For Divorce- Developing Emotional Resilience by breathing into our heart- How do our batteries get depleted?&nbsp;- Recognizing our depleting emotions- Debra shares the scientifically proven effects of the Quick Coherence Test- A 'Shift and Lift' breathing technique- How do we breathe in these emotions of self-care?&nbsp;- Practice shifts our baseline: 'self-mastery is spelled WORK'And so much more!MYM Resources:- 8 Pillars Of An Exceptional Marriage - ​​https://masteryourmarriagepodcast.com/8-pillars- Link to the MYM 8-Week Coaching Program - https://masteryourmarriagepodcast.com/MYM423-&nbsp;HeartMath Coherence Advantage Training for U.S. times - Use "Heartmath" as the code at checkout.&nbsp;https://www.debraheslinwellness.com/offers/FnwQaDFe/checkout&nbsp;- HeartMath Coherence Advantage Training for AU and NZ times - Use "Heartmath" as the code at checkout.&nbsp;<a href="https://www.debraheslinwellness.com/offers/r7Mk4rbe/checkout%EF%BF%BC" rel="noopener...

How do you see yourself? How do you see your partner? And how do you think your partner sees you? Decoding our sexual desire is the theme of this week's episode, as Sharla and Robert debunk the Hollywood ideas of what sex 'should' be like in a relationship.Together they get to the heart of what is required to maintain a deep, desire-driven relationship well into the years when cellulite and old age may traditionally start to impact the level of sexual desire for your partner that you would expect to have.&nbsp;Drawing on the work of renowned therapist David Schnarch, they look at the traditional drives of love and desire – Lust, Romantic Love, and Attachment –&nbsp; and then turn the spotlight on the all-important, less-understood 4th drive: your sense of self.&nbsp;The good news is that desire and attraction can get better as we age together in our relationships.&nbsp;Being secure and honest in who we are, appreciating the differences in the other person, and allowing yourself to be fully seen are just some of the ingredients to this as we learn that our own sense of self is perhaps the biggest driver of our sexual desire.&nbsp;Your chance to be fully seen and fully desired awaits. Please join us.&nbsp;&nbsp;"When you believe that sex always works naturally and easily – and then that is not your experience – it's easy to go down the rabbit hole of 'I'm defective' or 'There must be something wrong with me.'" ~ Robert Snow"There is always a ‘higher desire’ partner and a ‘lower desire’ partner." ~ Sharla Snow&nbsp;In This Episode:- Sharla shares her sexual education (confusion, shame, and trauma)- How desire drops when we think there is something wrong with us- What can go wrong when we satisfy our ‘lower desire’ partner- The Three Drives of Love and Desire... and then a Fourth!- Understanding how our sense of self impacts our desire- What does having a 'reflective sense of self' mean?&nbsp;- 'Giving up or growing up': shifting our locus of self-worthAnd so much more!MYM Resources:- 8 Pillars Of An Exceptional Marriage - ​​https://masteryourmarriagepodcast.com/8-pillars- Link to the MYM 8-Week Coaching Program - https://masteryourmarriagepodcast.com/MYM423- David Schnarch Intimacy and Desire Book - Intimacy &amp; Desire: Awaken the Passion in Your Relationship - https://www.amazon.com/Intimacy-Desire-Awaken-Passion-Relationship/dp/0825306299/- <a...

What does sex mean for you? Now ask yourself: what does sex mean for your partner? And what about intimacy? Do you and your partner have a clear understanding of each other's needs for both intimacy and sex?&nbsp;Sex, intimacy, and vulnerability. These three ideas end up colliding in the bedroom and either creating amazing sex and connection or creating resentment and distance in your relationship.&nbsp;In this week's episode of Master Your Marriage, Robert and Sharla are gingerly shining a light on the nuances of sex and intimacy because (as they often witness in their relationship counseling) we often end up conflating sex with intimacy, creating confusion.What societal stereotypes are real, and how much are they just a part of our current culture and conditioning? With a bit of historical perspective, we can debunk the myth that men are sex-crazed and that a woman's sexuality should be villainized.&nbsp;Robert and Sharla also explore what goes on in the bedroom for most couples, and then, drawing from personal experience, ask us to widen our scope of interest as we consider what it means to be intimate and vulnerable with each other throughout the day.&nbsp;As we create relationship rituals that foster intimacy and bridge the divide between any awkward expectations when it comes to the act of sex, we can begin to truly express our intimate love and understanding of our partner's needs.&nbsp;* Please be advised that while the content of this episode is not explicit, it may not be suitable for children."Deep intimacy is about being with someone in their wholeness. It's about figuratively being naked with each other." ~ Robert Snow"I think when you have a lot of intimacy in your day-to-day life, intimacy isn't always the requirement for sex." ~ Sharla SnowIn This Episode:- Understanding that sex and intimacy are not the same thing- How sex is portrayed in the media - questioning the stereotypes&nbsp;- The Second Great Awakening - when did women's sexuality become villainized?&nbsp;- What do men want from sex?&nbsp;- Does sex always need to be intimate?&nbsp;- How are we creating intimacy in the non-sexual moments in our relationship?&nbsp;- Exploring some of the relationship rituals that can foster intimacy- What prevents us from being intimate?- Understanding what the meaning of sex is for your partner&nbsp;And so much more!MYM Resources:- 8 Pillars Of An Exceptional Marriage - ​​https://masteryourmarriagepodcast.com/8-pillars- Link to the MYM 8-Week Coaching Program - https://masteryourmarriagepodcast.com/MYM423Connect with Robert and Sharla Snow:- Website: http://masteryourmarriagepodcast.com/- Instagram - https://www.instagram.com/masteryourmarriage/- Facebook - <a...

Defensiveness in relationships has become increasingly pervasive, posing a significant challenge in modern times. It hinders genuine connection, fosters negativity, and breeds resentment.&nbsp;However, Robert and Sharla are here to guide you toward a transformative path.Discover the psychology behind defensiveness as Robert and Sharla shed light on its roots and why it fails as a constructive coping mechanism.&nbsp;Armed with valuable insights, they equip you with practical strategies to overcome defensiveness and reclaim the harmony and intimacy in your relationships.Learn to navigate triggering moments gracefully as they share powerful phrases that can de-escalate conversations, fostering understanding and compassion.&nbsp;Whether it's for your marriage, family bonds, or overall well-being, developing the skills to manage defensiveness is a vital step toward personal growth and healthier connections.Prepare to dismantle the barriers that obstruct genuine connection as Robert and Sharla provide you with the tools to break free from defensiveness and embark on a journey of trust, vulnerability, and renewed love.As always, be kind to each other, take care of each other, and put each other first. Remember that it is the small and simple things we do every day that create strong relationships."Being defensive means rushing to defend yourself when you are faced with an uncomfortable situation or a feeling, rather than being able to sit in it, listening and really talking about whatever that problem is." ~ Sharla Snow&nbsp;&nbsp;"Defensiveness really is a coping strategy that makes you feel better only in the moment. But it’s not a positive strategy because the cleanup afterward is far, far worse." ~ Robert SnowIn This Episode:- The impact defensiveness has on trust and communication- Why is defensiveness more prevalent today than it was before?&nbsp;- The psychology of defensiveness&nbsp;- Reasons why we get defensive- What defensiveness looks like&nbsp;- The Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse that predict divorce&nbsp;- Suggestions to overcome defensiveness&nbsp;- Phrases you can use to de-escalate a conversation&nbsp;- What can you do if you have a chronically defensive partner?&nbsp;And so much more!MYM Resources:- 8 Pillars Of An Exceptional Marriage - ​​https://masteryourmarriagepodcast.com/8-pillars- Link to the MYM 8-Week Coaching Program - https://masteryourmarriagepodcast.com/MYM423Connect with Robert and Sharla Snow:- Website: http://masteryourmarriagepodcast.com/- Instagram - https://www.instagram.com/masteryourmarriage/- Facebook - http://facebook.com/masteryourmarriage- TikTok - <a...

{Get the guidebook that accompanies this episode: "Building Love Maps Guidebook, a practical guide to rich and meaningful conversations}Even the best therapy in the world won't work if it only focuses on conflict and fails to focus on building friendship and positive systems of affection with your spouse.&nbsp;In today's episode, Robert and Sharla introduce a skill to help you create a deeper and more fulfilling relationship with your partner.&nbsp;This skill, known as "love maps," was created by Dr. John Gottman. Love maps refer to the knowledge and understanding partners have about each other's inner worlds, including their likes, dislikes, dreams, and aspirations.Robert and Sharla delve into the fascinating realm of love maps and explore how this powerful tool can enhance and strengthen relationships.&nbsp;They discuss the importance of building,&nbsp; maintaining, and updating love maps and how these maps contribute to fostering intimacy, emotional connection, and long-lasting love.By sharing harrowing personal stories and practical tips, Robert and Sharla offer valuable guidance on creating love maps with your significant other.&nbsp;From deepening understanding to sparking meaningful conversations, this episode unravels the transformative potential of love maps in nurturing thriving relationships.&nbsp;Join us to learn about another skill that will help you take your friendship and intimacy to a new level. There is a companion guide that goes along with this episode, which can be downloaded here."Building love maps means taking a genuine interest in your partner and making mental space to be able to store information about their world." ~ Sharla Snow&nbsp;&nbsp;"It’s important to keep returning to these love maps. Return and update. Update your knowledge about yourself and each other." ~ Robert SnowIn This Episode:- What to do after managing conflict in your marriage to restore friendship and connection- What are love maps?&nbsp;- Why the transition into parenthood is difficult for most couples&nbsp;- What to do to prevent your marriage from deteriorating when having a child- How to focus on your love maps and not neglect them&nbsp;- How to build a love map from scratch&nbsp;And so much more!MYM Resources:-Building Love Maps Guidebook, A Practical Guide To Rich and Meaningful Conversations (A companion guide to this episode)- 8 Pillars Of An Exceptional Marriage - ​​https://masteryourmarriagepodcast.com/8-pillarsResources mentioned:- Book “The Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work: A Practical Guide from the Country's Foremost Relationship Expert” by John Gottman PhD and Nan Silver - <a href="https://www.amazon.com/Seven-Principles-Making-Marriage-Work/dp/0553447718" rel="noopener noreferrer"...

As humans, we all have specific thoughts that don't bring the desired results. These thoughts can make our lives more difficult and cause hardships in our relationships.&nbsp;You may not have chosen them. You may have absorbed them when you were a child, and you have carried them during your life.&nbsp;But the good news is that these thoughts can be changed.&nbsp;In this episode, Robert interviews Sharla to uncover their romantic relationship's different transformations, thanks to changes in their thought patterns.&nbsp;Sharla explains how the tools she got from neuro-linguistic programming (NLP) allowed her to change her rigid thinking patterns and understand that different people perceive different things. When she accepted this radical fact, she realized there was no need to convince someone she was right.&nbsp;We all have our preferences, but when we decide to grow and stop blaming others for our circumstances, we internalize that diverse perceptions are normal and natural rather than threatening. Embracing this will bring more peace and zen to your relationships.&nbsp;Robert and Sharla invite you to challenge your existing thought patterns and consider whether a shift in thinking may bring more peace in your life. And remember, it's the small and simple things we do every day that creates strong relationships.&nbsp;&nbsp;"Either we can let our old software keep running our life and our emotions on autopilot the way we have since we were a small child and we first learned them, or we can take charge, change our software, create a new course, and navigate our life and our relationships." ~ Robert Snow"I choose to believe that we tend to attract and marry the person that mirrors exactly what we need in this life." ~ Sharla SnowIn This Episode:- A brief overview of Neuro-Linguistic Programming (NLP)- The early days of Sharla and Robert’s marriage- What is the “model of communication”?&nbsp;- Why do we all perceive reality differently?- We didn’t choose most of our beliefs (but we can change them)- Your beliefs about other people are more about you than the others- Our spouse is our most realistic mirror&nbsp;- What part of our mind controls projections?- Where does empowerment come from?&nbsp;And so much more!Resources:- 8 Pillars Of An Exceptional Marriage - ​​https://masteryourmarriagepodcast.com/8-pillars- Link to the MYM 8-Week Coaching Program - https://masteryourmarriagepodcast.com/MYM423Connect with Robert and Sharla Snow:- Website: http://masteryourmarriagepodcast.com/- Instagram - https://www.instagram.com/masteryourmarriage/- Facebook - http://facebook.com/masteryourmarriage- TikTok - https://www.tiktok.com/@masteryourmarriage

How do successful couples manage external stress in their relationships? Learning how to become allies with your partner and creating a buffer between the two of you and the pressures of the outside world is the subject of today's important episode.The power of stress-reducing conversations in relationships is a secret ingredient that can elevate your connection, increase your intimacy, and improve trust between you and your partner.Couples that are better equipped to manage the spillover of stress into their relationship are those that embrace the idea of teamwork – seeing their partner as their ally and having a mindset of 'it's us against the world.'&nbsp;What a stress-reducing conversation can look like for you, and how to go about creating that sacred space and precious time for you and your partner to actually hear each other's fears are just some of the insights Robert and Sharla offer in this transformative episode of Master Your Marriage.&nbsp;&nbsp;We trust this information and advice will leave you feeling calmer and more prepared to deal with life's stresses as a united front. Remember, it’s the small and simple things we do every day that creates strong relationships. Please join us.&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;"One of the tenets of our coaching program is teamwork. How can we come together and work together as a team?" ~ Robert Snow"Try to show affection and comfort in some way. Let your partner know that they're not alone and that whatever it is that you're facing, you'll face it together." ~ Sharla SnowIn This Episode:- How can men learn to take off their 'armor' from the day?&nbsp;- Having stress-reducing conversations to create teamwork- What does a stress-reducing conversation look like?- Learning to be a comforting presence (and not just offer solutions)- Is it essential for you to take your partner's side?&nbsp;- How to practice empathy and validate your partner's emotions- Showing affection – the power of touch&nbsp;- Turning a stress-reducing conversation into an everyday ritualAnd so much more!Resources:- 8 Pillars Of An Exceptional Marriage - ​​https://masteryourmarriagepodcast.com/8-pillars- Link to the MYM 8-Week Coaching Program - https://masteryourmarriagepodcast.com/MYM423Connect with Robert and Sharla Snow:- Website: http://masteryourmarriagepodcast.com/- Instagram - https://www.instagram.com/masteryourmarriage/- Facebook - http://facebook.com/masteryourmarriage- TikTok - https://www.tiktok.com/@masteryourmarriage

What if there was a better way for your words to have their intended effect on your partner? Honest, non-defensive words have the power to reverse a difficult interaction and restore connection and intimacy in our relationship.&nbsp;How we learn to speak more gently for greater effect is achieved by first appreciating the difference between content and context in any challenging conversation.&nbsp;Robert and Sharla are delicately defining this for us, as well as providing us with the practical tools required in the heat of the moment, such as expressing your 'starting position' with regard to how you actually feel before diving headfirst into an argument that you intend on 'winning.'&nbsp;When we speak softly, we can also express our truth more authentically. Robert and Sharla's unique approach also allows for more personal introspection and growth that we can then bring into our relationship.&nbsp;You have the power to improve your relationship by choosing words that heal, uplift, and strengthen the bonds of your love. We trust you will find this episode to be of great value.&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;"If we want to be heard, we have to come in more gently." ~ Sharla Snow"Understanding always precedes solution-seeking." ~ Robert SnowIn This Episode:- 'Talk to me like I am someone you love' – lessons in communication from Nancy Dreyfus- Learning to speak our truth&nbsp;gently- What is the distinction between content and context in our conversations?- Articulating your 'starting position' (how you feel) before you begin an argument- 'We are never upset for the reasons we think' – getting to your context&nbsp;- How understanding precedes resolution- Finding a compromise that honors both parties - bringing an energy of connection- Why 'truth' is in the contextAnd so much more!Resources:- 8 Pillars Of An Exceptional Marriage - ​​https://masteryourmarriagepodcast.com/8-pillars- Link to the MYM 8-Week Coaching Program - https://masteryourmarriagepodcast.com/MYM423- Talk to me like I’m Someone You Love (Nancy Dreyfus’ Book) - https://www.amazon.com/Talk-Like-Someone-Love-revised/dp/0399162003Connect with Robert and Sharla Snow:- Website: http://masteryourmarriagepodcast.com/- Instagram - https://www.instagram.com/masteryourmarriage/- Facebook - http://facebook.com/masteryourmarriage- TikTok - https://www.tiktok.com/@masteryourmarriage

Have you ever thought about your partner, 'Can I trust you?' Are there things you want to tell them but don't, because you're afraid of how they will react?&nbsp;If something is holding you back from sharing your feelings with your spouse, or if you and your partner get defensive when negative emotions get brought up, then today's episode of Master Your Marriage is just for you.&nbsp;Developing emotional safety requires trust and commitment. Trust is a precursor for commitment, creating a wonderful by-product that is emotional safety. In fact, research has proven that couples who display trust and show commitment to each other actually live longer (as much as ten years!).&nbsp;Robert and Sharla, our paragons of relationship intimacy, are articulating the nuanced difference between trust and commitment, and showing how they work hand in hand to deepen our emotional safety.&nbsp;Being emotionally available for your partner means tuning into what they're going through. This requires being comfortable with even their negative emotions so you can sense when something is off. So what does listening to your partner actually look like? How can you become less defensive in the moment?The answers lie within, and of course, as we do the work, we become tolerant of other perspectives – even becoming more open to receiving influence from our spouse. There are some great 'Dos' and 'Don'ts' in this episode that address the skill of listening so that we may feel safe emotionally. Please join us!&nbsp;"The underlying issue behind most conflict is, really, 'Can I trust you?' ~ Sharla Snow"The secret to trust is attuning and listening to each other." ~ Robert Snow&nbsp;In This Episode:- How do we create emotional safety?&nbsp;- What is the difference between trust and commitment?- How trust and commitment have a soothing effect on people's emotions and fears- How do we build trust?- How do we become open to receiving influence from our spouse?&nbsp;- Why it doesn't help to be dismissive of your partner's concerns- Understanding the 'Commitment' mindset- Looking at the counterpart of commitment: betrayal- The link between conflict avoidance and infidelity- How can you increase trust and commitment in your relationship?And so much more!Resources:- 8 Pillars Of An Exceptional Marriage - ​​https://masteryourmarriagepodcast.com/8-pillars- Link to the MYM 8-Week Coaching Program - https://masteryourmarriagepodcast.com/MYM423Connect with Robert and Sharla Snow:- Website: http://masteryourmarriagepodcast.com/- Instagram - https://www.instagram.com/masteryourmarriage/- Facebook - http://facebook.com/masteryourmarriage- TikTok - https://www.tiktok.com/@masteryourmarriage

What does it mean when we become 'flooded' during a stressful conversation with our spouse? Last week Robert and Sharla unpacked our emotional 'triggers,' which could lead to 'flooding' – the theme of this week's scientifically strategic episode.It turns out that taking a break during an argument with a loved one can be healthy. It doesn't always make sense to push through a tough conversation just to prove we are invested in our marriage.&nbsp;When we are triggered into a 'fight or flight' response, it can cause us to disconnect emotionally, leading to behaviors that cause hurt and pain. We see our spouse as the 'threat.' This can cause ‘emotional dysregulation,’ which is our inability to use healthy strategies to diffuse our own negative emotions.&nbsp;There's an entire physiological programming that we are up against that, when understood properly, can be used to our advantage as we 'fight' for the survival of our relationship rather than take 'flight' for the sake of ourselves.&nbsp;From understanding our sympathetic nervous system as the accelerator in our body and the parasympathetic branch of our autonomic nervous system as the brakes, we can use tools like breathing and even oximeters for measuring our bpm to calm ourselves down. When tempers flare, self-soothing is the start of showing you still care.Robert and Sharla expertly unpack how we can better understand and regulate our nervous system and ‘pump the brakes’ so we don't become 'flooded' when faced with an emotional crisis.&nbsp;Learning how to harness the tools of simple science may just be the wake-up call you need to prevent 'flooding' leading to 'isolation' and then ultimately 'divorce.' Thankfully, proactive prevention is just one podcast episode away.&nbsp;"When we become triggered, we become activated into a heightened physiological and emotional state." ~ Robert Snow"When we get activated into fight or flight while we're simply talking to our spouse (about maybe a simple disagreement or a difficult subject), that's gonna be problematic, right? Because now our spouse is that perceived threat." ~ Sharla SnowIn This Episode:- How our innate physiological programming is intended for 'life or death' situations- Understanding 'flooding' and the physical reactions we experience when triggered- What is the 'distance isolation cascade'?- A deep dive into understanding our autonomic nervous system- Understanding 'auditory exclusion' and how our hearing can become impaired in stressful situations- That moment when conflict escalates (and our heart rate goes above 100 bpm)- What can you 'not do' when you're flooded?- How do we get our heart rate back to baseline after an argument?&nbsp;- How can we get out of the stressful situation we find ourselves in with our partners?- What are the Three Steps you should take when you're triggered and then flooded?- How can a pulse oximeter help you manage your bpm levels?- What should you NOT do when you're taking a break?&nbsp;- Homework! Coming up with a strategy (with your spouse) on how to take a breakAnd so much more!Resources:- 8 Pillars Of An Exceptional Marriage - ​​https://masteryourmarriagepodcast.com/8-pillars- Link to the MYM 8-Week Coaching Program - <a href="https://masteryourmarriagepodcast.com/MYM423" rel="noopener

I'm triggered! We hear those words more and more these days, but what does it actually mean? And more importantly, how can we get better at managing our own triggers?In today's episode of Master Your Marriage, hosts Robert and Sharla are providing us with the tools we need to better navigate conflict in our own relationship. This starts with a clear definition of what a trigger is and continues with learning how to identify them (and perhaps even their source of origin).&nbsp;Whether you get triggered by your loving partner or a stranger on a plane, the physical reaction to being triggered alone can feel debilitating. Your body may well be responding to old wounds.Luckily, your marriage can be your masterclass in personal growth and development. Robert and Sharla beautifully demonstrate how to engage in trigger-identifying exercises from their own experience that can open the door to more empathy with your partner as well as not trying to change them.&nbsp;After all, real empowerment comes from us taking personal responsibility for our own actions. So after exclaiming, "I'm triggered!" your next question should be: what am I going to do about it?"Triggers are like our emotional baggage that we bring into our relationship. And if we don't take the time to unpack our own baggage, we then blame our partner when they trip over the bags that we've left in the middle of the room!" ~ Robert Snow"There's also a possibility of a generational pattern that can be involved in these triggers as well." ~ Sharla SnowIn This Episode:- What are triggers?&nbsp;- How can a trigger be set off?&nbsp;- Are you being triggered to fight or flee?- How to identify your individual triggers- Understanding emotional intelligence as our ability to recover from triggers- Robert and Sharla share their own triggers with each other&nbsp;- What do you do when you've identified your triggers?And so much more!Resources:- 8 Pillars Of An Exceptional Marriage - ​​https://masteryourmarriagepodcast.com/8-pillars- Link to the MYM 8-Week Coaching Program - https://masteryourmarriagepodcast.com/MYM423Connect with Robert and Sharla Snow:- Website: http://masteryourmarriagepodcast.com/- Instagram - https://www.instagram.com/masteryourmarriage/- Facebook - http://facebook.com/masteryourmarriage- TikTok - https://www.tiktok.com/@masteryourmarriage

How do we go about creating change on an unconscious level? Perhaps you haven't quite harnessed the power of your unconscious mind and are curious to know what it is capable of achieving. What could harnessing that power bring to your relationship?Call it what you like – the subconscious, unconscious, or even preconscious mind – Sharla and Robert are sharing how that part of ourselves simply wants more. And what we feed it is up to us. It can be knowledge and positivity, or it can be perpetuating negative belief systems that may stem from childhood wounds like abandonment.&nbsp;And if we want to show up 'whole' for our partner and feel like we are part of a team in our marriage, we need to be brave enough to work through our baggage so that we don't trip over it! Our power lies in harnessing the conscious mind as the goal-setter, and the unconscious mind as the goal-getter.&nbsp;There's much 'more' inside – for both your conscious and subconscious mind. Whatever you believe about your marriage is your marriage. Please join us.&nbsp;"The unconscious mind is conditioned to continually want and desire and seek out more." ~ Sharla Snow"Our unconscious mind seeks more (good or bad), but the question is: more of what?" ~ Robert SnowIn This Episode:- Understanding Edward Bernays' "Engineering of Consent"- How are the parameters of our unconscious mind established?- Unpacking the abandonment wound and the consequences it can cause&nbsp;- Examining how life can become a confirmation of your bias&nbsp;- What do you truly believe about your marriage?&nbsp;- What could your relationship do with a positive belief system?&nbsp;And so much more!Resources:- 8 Pillars Of An Exceptional Marriage - ​​https://masteryourmarriagepodcast.com/8-pillars- Link to the MYM 8-Week Coaching Program - https://masteryourmarriagepodcast.com/MYM423Connect with Robert and Sharla Snow:- Website: http://masteryourmarriagepodcast.com/- Instagram - https://www.instagram.com/masteryourmarriage/- Facebook - http://facebook.com/masteryourmarriage- TikTok - https://www.tiktok.com/@masteryourmarriage

Are you looking to bring more peace and harmony into your relationship? A State Of The Union needn't just be a presidential wartime address. In another wonderfully impactful episode of Master Your Marriage, Robert and Sharla are offering us their version of a 'State Of The Union.'There are five key steps involved in having an effective weekly check-in with your partner that will no doubt prove to be a total game changer if you are looking to turn your hearts towards one another.&nbsp;Because, let's face it: never before has there been so much information out there, from podcasts to AI, and from social media to internet blogs. So what moves that information out of the headspace and into the heart space?&nbsp;As Robert and Sharla so eloquently explain, it starts with creating rituals that involve making time for one another. This is a sacred time for the two of you, where you begin making micro-adjustments to your relationship through small conversations.All of the tools you need to make that higher-level commitment to yourself and your partner can be found in this episode and then practiced in your own unique version of a weekly relationship check-in. Please join us.&nbsp;“When we create rituals for our own relationships, we are making a higher-level commitment to the most important thing in our lives." ~ Robert Snow&nbsp;In This Episode:- Unpacking Appreciation – sharing an attribute you love about your partner- Understanding why creating rituals is so important&nbsp;- State Of The Union: How To Have an Effective Weekly Check-In- 5 steps you can take with your partner in a weekly State Of The Union connection- Setting the tone of your conversation: 5 positive appreciations- What went right in your relationship this week?&nbsp;- Remembering that conflict has a positive purpose- No coming in hot! Starting with 'I statements'&nbsp;- Learning to listen non-defensively&nbsp;And so much more!Resources:- 8 Pillars Of An Exceptional Marriage - ​​https://masteryourmarriagepodcast.com/8-pillars- Link to the MYM 8-Week Coaching Program - https://masteryourmarriagepodcast.com/MYM423Connect with Robert and Sharla Snow:- Website: http://masteryourmarriagepodcast.com/- Instagram - https://www.instagram.com/masteryourmarriage/- Facebook - http://facebook.com/masteryourmarriage- TikTok - https://www.tiktok.com/@masteryourmarriage

Is it possible to prioritize your marriage without sacrificing your children's needs? Robert and Sharla believe so, and in this episode, they're demonstrating exactly how you can put your children's needs first while also prioritizing your marriage.There's a biological maternal imperative that kicks in when a child is born. Left to linger for too long (consider a child sleeping in the parent's bed as an example), it can cause resentment. The spouse may find themselves way down the family pecking order over time, prioritized even after the family pet!And while the statistics on marital satisfaction post childbirth don't make for pretty reading, Robert and Sharla succinctly offer solutions on making transitions through parenthood with far less stress by remaining steadfast in your commitment to your marriage. What does this look like, exactly?&nbsp;Tune in to find out just how you can model a healthy marriage to your children, setting them up for eventual relationship success themselves one day, with 'The Magic Six-Hour Week' and other tools that foster marital intimacy without compromising your parental responsibilities.&nbsp;"It's crucial for children to experience and witness the love of their parents and the love that they have for one another, not just the love that their parents have for them." ~ Sharla SnowIn This Episode:- In what ways do we put our children before our marriage?- What motherhood has meant to Sharla in terms of her identity- Understanding the biology of why mothers put their children first- What kind of relationship do you want your children to have?&nbsp;- Assessing how we spend our time – what's working and what's not?- ‘Making time’ versus ‘finding time’ for your relationship- The Magic Six-Hour Week - how to prioritize your marriage in just six hours a weekAnd so much more!Resources:- 8 Pillars Of An Exceptional Marriage - ​​https://masteryourmarriagepodcast.com/8-pillars- Link to the MYM 8-Week Coaching Program - https://masteryourmarriagepodcast.com/MYM423Connect with Robert and Sharla Snow:- Website: http://masteryourmarriagepodcast.com/- Instagram - https://www.instagram.com/masteryourmarriage/- Facebook - http://facebook.com/masteryourmarriage- TikTok - https://www.tiktok.com/@masteryourmarriage

Are you ready to roll up your sleeves and process a past fight? Fear not. Today, Robert and Sharla are providing you with a tool for effective repair conversations.&nbsp;And to show you how it's done, this masterfully married couple will be processing one of their past fights (they prefer to call them 'regrettable incidents'), and showing you how to let go of stubborn resentments, deal with past hurt, and empathetically engage with your partner.&nbsp;There are some ground rules to consider (avoiding criticism, contempt, defensiveness, and snowballing), and there are five steps to take that you can then try out as you workshop a 'regrettable incident' of your own.&nbsp;From sharing your feelings to sharing your perceptions (and understanding the difference), and from sharing your triggers to taking responsibility, a constructive plan awaits you to prevent a fight from becoming a lingering resentment... one that could poison your marriage, or become stones in your shoe as you walk this long road of life together.&nbsp;"The second step is to share our individual realities – and to validate one another's realities. ~ Sharla Snow"We hope you're excited to incorporate this process in your relationship. As always, if you need coaching or any help applying this, reach out to us – we'd love to help out." ~ Robert SnowIn This Episode:- How to deal with disagreements in your relationship calmly and empathetically as they arise- Processing a regrettable incident – Robert and Sharla's real-life 'fight'- What are the 5 steps that you can use to process a regrettable incident of your own?&nbsp;- Getting to a place of renewed empathy and understanding with your partnerAnd so much more!Resources:- 8 Pillars Of An Exceptional Marriage - ​​https://masteryourmarriagepodcast.com/8-pillars- Link to the MYM 8-Week Coaching Program - https://masteryourmarriagepodcast.com/MYM423Connect with Robert and Sharla Snow:- Website: http://masteryourmarriagepodcast.com/- Instagram - https://www.instagram.com/masteryourmarriage/- Facebook - http://facebook.com/masteryourmarriage- TikTok - https://www.tiktok.com/@masteryourmarriage

Is there something you had that you didn't know how good it was until you lost it? Don't wait until your relationship is over, poisoned by resentment, to start practicing gratitude.&nbsp;Gratitude is a conscious practice where we actively go looking for things to appreciate in our spouse and in our relationship. Practicing gratitude can not only dissolve our resentments, but it can also shift our habits, and help us see the positive in what we already have.&nbsp;&nbsp;How can we appreciate those around us in ways that aren't too conditional, so that our gratitude will have the most meaningful impact?&nbsp;Appreciation is one of the core pillars in Masterful Marriage's coaching model – and Robert and Sharla are delving into the nuance of how we can understand and show appreciation,&nbsp; because they know just how valuable it is to change the habit of the mind (94% success rate!).&nbsp;From writing letters that need never get sent, to renewing positive feelings you once had by following Robert and Sharla's six-step process that will have you contemplating gratitude for your relationship in ways you'd never imagined, the tools you need to Master Your Marriage are but a listen (and then practice) away. Please join us.&nbsp;&nbsp;"I've always found it fascinating how appreciation can really impact every single relationship for my staff – and then especially in my marriage." ~ Robert Snow"We know that appreciation changes the habit of the mind: it causes us to focus on the positive attributes in one another, rather than on the flaws or the little mistakes from day to day." ~ Sharla SnowIn This Episode:- How appreciation can impact every relationship positively- Why recognition is different from appreciation- Shifting into a positive frame of mind where good things are amplified- Understanding that appreciation is the antidote for contempt- How do we start practicing gratitude to dissolve resentment?&nbsp;- What are the practical benefits of practicing gratitude?And so much more!Resources:- 8 Pillars Of An Exceptional Marriage - ​​https://masteryourmarriagepodcast.com/8-pillars- Link to the MYM 8-Week Coaching Program - https://masteryourmarriagepodcast.com/MYM423Connect with Robert and Sharla Snow:- Website: http://masteryourmarriagepodcast.com/- Instagram - https://www.instagram.com/masteryourmarriage/- Facebook - http://facebook.com/masteryourmarriage- TikTok - <a href="https://www.tiktok.com/@masteryourmarriage"...

Is there a disagreement with your partner that you are still hanging onto? Is the lingering resentment getting in the way of your love? Today Robert and Sharla are talking about resentment – and providing you with three simple steps to overcome it.&nbsp;Just like the pile of junk in your basement that starts to build up as your clutter gets pushed out of sight for convenience's sake, so too does resentment accumulate, just waiting for you to trip over it in the dark, and start another argument with your loved one.&nbsp;Resentment can blind you to what you really want – peace, love, and harmony, plus all the other good stuff that often lies just on the other side of overcoming that resentment. But how do we do it? What does a relationship spring clean look like?&nbsp;The answers lie inside in this absorbing episode of Master Your Marriage, where Robert and Sharla shine a torch on that resentment clutter in your basement and help you to clean it up in three easy steps!"Resentment is this multi-layered emotion and it can consist of many other emotions, like anger, disappointment, hurt, and sometimes even disgust." ~ Sharla Snow"When we are in resentment, we actually withhold intimacy from each other." ~ Robert SnowIn This Episode:- Why resentment is like taking poison – and hoping the other person dies- Why small conversations are better than no conversations- The value in paying attention to your negative emotions- Questioning your own emotional maturity and asking if you have a constant need to be right&nbsp;- How resentment impairs our ability to sleep and focus- What do I want instead? What lies on the other side of your resentment?&nbsp;- Focus on what you want: shifting to gratitudeAnd so much more!Resources:- 8 Pillars Of An Exceptional Marriage - ​​https://masteryourmarriagepodcast.com/8-pillars- Link to the MYM 8-Week Coaching Program - https://masteryourmarriagepodcast.com/MYM423- Book - Flow: The Psychology of Optimal Experience (Harper Perennial Modern Classics): Mihaly Csikszentmihalyi: 9780061339202: Amazon.com - https://www.amazon.com/Flow-Psychology-Experience-Perennial-Classics/dp/0061339202Connect with Robert and Sharla Snow:- Website: http://masteryourmarriagepodcast.com/- Instagram - https://www.instagram.com/masteryourmarriage/- Facebook - <a href="http://facebook.com/masteryourmarriage" rel="noopener noreferrer"...

What is the minimum commitment level you need to achieve if you don't want things to deteriorate in your relationship? How many dates are enough? And how much time should you spend talking to each other?&nbsp;Human connection is a basic human need. Today we are addressing intimacy – how to improve it, how to feel 'seen' by our partner, and how to experience greater empathy as a result.There are five categories of intimacy that you can address as you become the master architect of your relationship. Spoiler alert: it's not all about sex. Though we do address the benefits of a 'feel good' cuddle!&nbsp;It's the small and simple things that you 'drip' into the cave of your relationship that form the beautiful stalactites that become the rituals of intimacy and strong human connection over time. From road trips to date nights, and cold plunges to being open to perspectives other than your own, the drips of intimacy that can feed your relationship are but one thoughtful action away.&nbsp;"Every positive thing that you drip into your relationship will enhance intimacy." ~ Sharla SnowIn This Episode:- What are the five primary categories of intimacy?- What is holding us back from intimacy?&nbsp;- What won't happen if I don't let down these walls?- Understanding resentment as a barrier to intimacy- What does emotional intimacy entail – and how can we create more of it?&nbsp;- What is the #1 thing you can do to improve intimacy in your relationship?And so much more!Resources:-Get the Repair Attempt Cheatsheet- 8 Pillars Of An Exceptional Marriage- MYM 8-Week Coaching Program - https://masteryourmarriagepodcast.com/MYM423Connect with Robert and Sharla Snow:- Website: http://masteryourmarriagepodcast.com/- Instagram - https://www.instagram.com/masteryourmarriage/- Facebook - http://facebook.com/masteryourmarriage- TikTok - https://www.tiktok.com/@masteryourmarriage

What can you do to stop a fight from escalating? Surely there’s a better way to argue? If you feel like your communication with your partner sometimes takes a disrespectful turn, then today’s episode is for you.&nbsp;Robert and Sharla are sharing one of their favorite interventions in couples coaching: it’s a tool to stop couples from letting negativity spiral out of control.&nbsp;Understanding repair attempts begins with appreciating the philosophy that your marriage or relationship is an infinite game that you are constantly wanting to extend by never actually ‘winning.’&nbsp;Approaching conflict with a mindset of humility, as well as a curiosity to understand your partner’s point of view in an argument, are some of the more positive approaches you can make as repair attempts when things start to spiral out of control.&nbsp;And of course, between being provoked and responding, there is space for growth and freedom (if you choose) by acknowledging your power to be empathetic to your partner’s needs. In any conversation, let your first response be your breath.&nbsp;This episode on repair attempts is a literal breath of fresh air for couples in need of new approaches to resolving conflict. It also comes with a cheat sheet in the show notes below. Please join us.&nbsp;“Marriage is an infinite game. The objective is to never win.” ~ Robert SnowIn This Episode:- A recap of the 8 predictors for divorce and the Four Horsemen- Understanding how repair attempts can improve your marriage- Compromise is the oil that lubricates the engine called marriage- Understanding why the goal is never to win — rather, to extend the game- Leaving your ego tucked away and remaining curious in a challenging conversation- How to move the conversation closer to compromise- Using ‘I statements’ to defuse negativity- Acknowledging and understanding your partner’s point of view: “help me understand”And so much more!Resources:-Get the Repair Attempt Cheatsheet- 8 Pillars Of An Exceptional Marriage- MYM 8-Week Coaching Program - https://masteryourmarriagepodcast.com/MYM423- Book: Finite and Infinite Games Connect with Robert and Sharla Snow:- Website: http://masteryourmarriagepodcast.com/- Instagram - https://www.instagram.com/masteryourmarriage/- Facebook - http://facebook.com/masteryourmarriage- TikTok - https://www.tiktok.com/@masteryourmarriage

Have you ever felt put down, mocked, belittled, shamed, or called names in what you thought was a 'loving' relationship? Or have you perhaps been guilty of sarcasm, eye-rolling, and passive-aggressive communication that has slowly poisoned a relationship that you didn't mean to?Sharla and Robert are discussing the number one predictor for a divorce: contempt. Once this poison sets in, divorce, on average, happens in about 6 years. Trust us, you're going to want to listen to this episode to the end to fix this problem and save your relationship.Was contempt a part of the way your family communicated growing up? Do you know that you're being triggered by the person you love but feel incapable of change? Solutions are at hand in this sublime episode of Master Your Marriage that takes contempt by the scruff of its neck and empathetically shows you how to overcome those feelings with five easy steps.&nbsp;&nbsp;"Contempt is the kiss of death for a relationship." ~ Sharla SnowIn This Episode:- Understanding contempt as the 'sulfuric acid' of relationships- Examples of contempt in everyday relationships- How contempt leads to more contempt – and defensiveness- What to do when contempt starts as an automatic reaction to an issue- What helped Sharla overcome her contempt? A process of empathy- Five steps to help overcome your own contemptAnd so much more!Resources:-Overcoming Contempt Cheatsheet- 8 Pillars Of An Exceptional Marriage- MYM 8-Week Coaching Program - https://masteryourmarriagepodcast.com/MYM423- Flow: The Psychology of Optimal Experience Connect with Robert and Sharla Snow:- Website: http://masteryourmarriagepodcast.com/- Instagram - https://www.instagram.com/masteryourmarriage/- Facebook - http://facebook.com/masteryourmarriage- TikTok - https://www.tiktok.com/@masteryourmarriage

Saying 'I need help with the dishes' to your spouse is far better than saying 'you are so lazy.' Asking 'why are you always on your phone at dinner?' is not as helpful as expressing that you miss the connection that being with your partner brings when they don't bring their phone to the dinner table.Today, Robert and Sharla are sharing a three-step formula for reducing marital conflict by giving those conversations that we often end up having a more gentle start. How to have constructive conflict is the key to being in a committed relationship because, after all, being 'all in' means saying 'I love you too much to keep this problem hidden.'Learn about the first of eight predictors for divorce, the Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse, the three-step formula to reframing conflict, and how to deal with one (hypothetically) difficult mother-in-law coming over for dinner. This episode of Master Your Marriage teaches us how to express how we feel, about what, and state what we need, in a positive form. Asking your partner to take positive action regarding your concern is a way to be heard, and one of the first steps toward building a strong, lasting relationship.&nbsp;&nbsp;"The difference between a complaint and criticism is this: complaints are focused on the issue, but criticisms are focused on the person and their character. ~ Robert SnowIn This Episode:- What are the 8 predictors for divorce? Observing the conflict conversation- The Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse: Criticism, Contempt, Defensiveness, and Stonewalling- How we criticize our partner when we could just express our concern- The importance of bringing up issues gently – not putting your spouse on the defensive- Six sneaky ways criticism gets into your conversation- The three-step formula to reframing conflict- Dealing with your mother-in-law in a more healthy way!And so much more!Resources:- 8 Pillars Of An Exceptional Marriage- MYM 8-Week Coaching Program- Flow: The Psychology of Optimal ExperienceConnect with Robert and Sharla Snow:Website: http://masteryourmarriagepodcast.com/Instagram - https://www.instagram.com/masteryourmarriage/Facebook - http://facebook.com/masteryourmarriageTikTok - https://www.tiktok.com/@masteryourmarriage

Is marital conflict normal? How about natural? Could it even be necessary? Sharla and Robert are here to prove to you that it's a resounding 'yes' to all three questions – and that after this episode, you'll never look at conflict the same way again.&nbsp;Robert has a sexy radio voice from a late flight and he's also brought back with him a 30,000 feet-high point of view with regard to respecting the differences he and Sharla share on raising their son.&nbsp;Sharla is boots on the ground (not shoveling snow), and together, this masterful couple is helping the rest of us master our marriage by talking about that one conflict that just won't go away. And the good news is we don't have to solve every problem in our marriage.&nbsp;The aerial view from the plane is that we start by acknowledging what we do have in common as a couple (wanting to raise a child who responds and acts from a place of love, for example) and then find compromise, seek empathy, and open the door to healthy dialogue. This way, we learn to manage our perpetual problems, not solve them.Robert and Sharla teach us that we shouldn't define a marriage by one set of values alone. Considering that no two people are going to see the world the exact same way anyway, let us learn to suspend judgment, lead with curiosity, and honor both sets of dreams that we have as a couple.&nbsp;The beauty of conflict is that we can learn to become more open-minded about seeing the world through our partner's eyes. Even if only one of us is flying at 30,000 feet."How you disagree is what can make (or break) your relationship." ~ Robert SnowIn This Episode:- Robert and Sharla discuss their differences of opinions with regard to raising their son- Roughly 7 out of 10 disagreements in a relationship are perpetual- Why do we disagree? Finding compromise, seeking empathy.- How much information can our conscious mind actually process?- How your individual upbringing has shaped the way you see the world- Keeping the door to dialogue open – avoiding gridlock- What is the deeply held belief or core value that is at stake?- Four steps you can take to start working toward compromise!And so much more!Resources:- 8 Pillars Of An Exceptional Marriage-MYM 8-Week Coaching Program- Flow: The Psychology of Optimal ExperienceConnect with Robert and Sharla Snow:- Website: http://masteryourmarriagepodcast.com/- Instagram - https://www.instagram.com/masteryourmarriage/- Facebook - http://facebook.com/masteryourmarriage- TikTok - https://www.tiktok.com/@masteryourmarriage

How do we keep that early, ‘in love’ feeling alive? If the romance has started to taper off in your relationship, fear not! Robert and Sharla are here to breathe life into your relationship with an inspirational visualization technique to help you fire up your love strategy.&nbsp;If you’ve been buying your partner gifts, treating them to fancy dinners, and leaving thoughtful, romantic notes — and it’s still not working — then the chances are good that you aren’t employing the appropriate love strategy for your partner to feel loved in the way in which they need to feel loved.&nbsp;Can you remember a time when you felt totally, deeply loved? What were those feelings like? Our brains have a love language that is developed by our experience of feeling loved. And because this language can involve any one of our five senses, there’s a chance that the reason you’re shooting in the dark with your romantic gestures is that you aren’t speaking your partner’s subconscious love language – using the sense (or senses) that stimulate them.&nbsp;Becoming intentional about how you show your partner love is the exquisite gift of this episode, as we learn about our brain’s language for love — and then how to build a love strategy that keeps the spark alive, using that language. Please join Robert and Sharla in the language of love!“Your love strategy will have one absolute, critical component that must be present — or that feeling of love won’t be generated.” ~ Sharla SnowIn This Episode:- What is your unconscious love strategy? The secret to staying in love- The unique way that you arrive at the experience of feeling loved- Becoming intentional about how you show your partner love- Making your own Love Jar (and other strategies that may or may not work!)- How to avoid blindly shooting in the dark with words that don’t have meaning- How to fire your partner’s love strategyAnd so much more!Resources:- The 8 Pillars of an Exceptional Marriage - http://bit.ly/3Eksoqs- Love Strategies Workbook - https://masteryourmarriagepodcast.com/love-strategyConnect with Robert and Sharla Snow:- Website: masteryourmarriagepodcast.com&nbsp;- Instagram - https://www.instagram.com/masteryourmarriage/- Facebook - Facebook.com/masteryourmarriage- TikTok - https://www.tiktok.com/@masteryourmarriage

If trust is the cornerstone of a healthy relationship, how do we get it back when it starts getting eroded? Robert and Sharla are playing with a delicious paradox today: the idea that trust requires us to be vulnerable — and yet being vulnerable requires trust.&nbsp;Through personal, relatable examples as a couple, plus some Brené Brown insights, this power relationship couple proves that vulnerability is not weakness. Rather, vulnerability is a strength. The myth that vulnerability is weakness is dangerous to any relationship. We need to break that cycle as our relationships depend on it.&nbsp;There is nuance to our understanding of trust as we create a safe space for our vulnerabilities, and build on trust in everyday encounters (like a trip to Home Depot!) that are actually brief opportunities, or ’sliding door moments’ that prevent the erosion of this important relationship cornerstone.&nbsp;If you just thought of trust as your partner not cheating on you, or if you are eager to understand what trust through attunement can do to enhance your relationship, you are in for a treat. Please join Robert and Sharla as they get vulnerable themselves in this thought-provoking, change-creating episode!Join the celebration of the launch of our brand new podcast, "Master Your Marriage," and enter our giveaway for a chance to win an 8-week Coaching Program with us here: https://upvir.al/143028/lp143028“Do women really only respect their men when they are playing the hero?” ~ Sharla SnowIn This Episode:- Do women really only respect their men when they are playing the hero?- Providing a safe space for men to be vulnerable&nbsp;- Trustworthiness as the #1 desirable quality in a partner- Why trust is NOT just the absence of cheating- Sharla’s experience as a child witnessing her parents fight- How not trusting your own feelings can negatively impact your relationship&nbsp;- Why you should stop using phrases like “Man up!”&nbsp;- Trusting your partner with differences of opinion- An invitation to do better — understanding what is involved when trust is at stake- Where there is trust, there is connection. And where there is connection, there is oneness.&nbsp;And so much more!Resources:- The 8 Pillars of an Exceptional Marriage -https://masteryourmarriagepodcast.com/8-pillars- Trust Through Attunement Blueprint - https://masteryourmarriagepodcast.com/episode4Connect with Robert and Sharla Snow:- Website: masteryourmarriagepodcast.com&nbsp;- Instagram - https://www.instagram.com/masteryourmarriage/- Facebook - Facebook.com/masteryourmarriage- TikTok - <a href="https://www.tiktok.com/@masteryourmarriage" rel="noopener noreferrer"...

Do you really need another person in your life to be happy, healthy, and reach your greatest potential? When viewed like this, is codependency such a bad word? Sharla and Robert aren't sitting on the fence on this one. In fact, they are challenging the stigmas around the word codependency and the way society teaches us to apply that label indiscriminately — and oftentimes detrimentally.Their reasoning is backed by compelling evidence that ranges from the way mushrooms form underground networks in forests as a way to strengthen through connection, to studies on attachment, the Dependency Paradox, and the results of 'shock tests' administered when you are holding your partner's hand.Sharla and Robert weave their personal stories of childbirth, and surgery, and the profound impact that holding your partner's hand can have on your own empowerment – all the while gently changing the narrative around how we sensationalize independence at the expense of shared intimacy and support.&nbsp;This conversation is worth listening to repeatedly as we celebrate the fact that we are actually hardwired for dependency on the ones we love – and that embracing this fact can lead us to ever greater personal success in life.Join the celebration of the launch of our brand new podcast, "Master Your Marriage," and enter our giveaway for a chance to win an 8-week Coaching Program with us here: https://upvir.al/143028/lp143028"Our culture has taught us to really reject this idea of codependency, believing that true independence and self-sustainability is a much healthier form of attachment." ~ Sharla SnowIn This Episode:- Should we aim for less entanglement in our relationships?- Understanding when dependency is healthy in an intimate relationship- Sharla's recount of the birth of their last child and how Robert inspired and empowered her- What does our culture have to say about codependency – are we being misled?&nbsp;- Understanding why our need for attachment is a human condition- What can we learn from mushrooms about our need for human connection?- Appreciating oneness as a superpower and survival advantage!- How Sharla supported Robert through his hernia surgery- The more dependent we are on each other, the more courageous we tend to be when facing everything outside of our relationship- What if your partner isn't fully available to you?&nbsp;And so much more!Resources:- The 8 Pillars of an Exceptional Marriage - http://bit.ly/3Eksoqs- Attached (Amir Levine) - https://www.attachedthebook.com/wordpress/- Flowers (Miley Cyrus) - https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=G7KNmW9a75Y- The Dependency Paradox - https://jeanhuber.com/the-dependency-paradox/- Mary Ainsworth’s Attachment Theory - https://study.com/academy/lesson/mary-ainsworth-theory-biography-quiz.htmlConnect with Robert...

How do we create a shared, purposeful, and meaningful life together while still appreciating our differences? This is the question Robert and Sharla Snow set out to answer in this poignant and impactful episode of Master Your Marriage.&nbsp;The answer lies in our understanding of rituals. Or perhaps more specifically, connection rituals as they apply to couples that may find themselves ‘flying off’ in the opposite direction to each other.&nbsp;Drawing on personal experience as a couple that thrives in each other's company, Robert and Sharla lay out a plan for how you can achieve this in your marriage too. There are studies and quotes, tips and anecdotes – appreciating intention and fostering purpose has never sounded better and more possible!&nbsp;Are you ready to become the designer of your relationship?&nbsp;Join the celebration of the launch of our brand new podcast, "Master Your Marriage," and enter our giveaway for a chance to win an 8-week Coaching Program with us here: https://upvir.al/143028/lp143028"When couples say ‘we've just grown into different people,’ I would challenge that you've always been different people." ~ Sharla SnowIn This Episode:- What are rituals? What are connection rituals?- Do we grow into different people?- The Sweaty T-Shirt Study – being attracted to your genetic opposite- Is attraction more about our differences than our similarities?- Addressing your values on an anniversary weekend- Understanding rituals as habits- How do you want to say goodbye before leaving for work?- Examples of connection rituals- 3 tips for creating meaningful ritualsAnd so much more!Resources:- Atomic Habits: An Easy &amp; Proven Way to Build Good Habits &amp; Break Bad Ones (Audible Audio Edition)Connect with Robert and Sharla Snow:- Website: masteryourmarriagepodcast.com&nbsp;- Instagram - https://www.instagram.com/masteryourmarriage/- Facebook - Facebook.com/masteryourmarriage- TikTok- https://www.tiktok.com/@masteryourmarriage

Complacency in marriage is the hot topic in this inaugural episode of Master Your Marriage. Robert and Sharla Snow are sharing the techniques and tips that they've acquired in over 31 years of marriage together.&nbsp;They are bringing value not only by dropping knowledge from scientific-based ideologies such as neurolinguistic programming and the Gottman Method – but by providing actionable steps for you to apply in your marriage today.&nbsp;There's a powerful visualization technique in the latter half of the episode that is both powerful and moving and might even give you goosebumps as you recall why you chose to be with your partner. Robert and Sharla set out their intention to have a greater impact on the marriages of the people they work with, expressing their gratitude and excitement to build this community with you.&nbsp;You are invited to embark on a journey of intentional action that may well save your marriage and reignite the spark that was once there. This journey into mastering your marriage begins here and now.&nbsp;Join the celebration of the launch of our brand new podcast, "Master Your Marriage," and enter our giveaway for a chance to win an 8-week Coaching Program with us here: https://upvir.al/143028/lp143028"Complacency might be the number one silent killer of marriages today. And I say silent because of how subtle it grows. It's not something that happens overnight." ~ Sharla SnowIn This Episode:- Finding real and tangible solutions to your relationship- What are the benefits of a happy marriage?- Introducing the TEAM method- When was the last time you felt deeply loved?- Understanding the danger of complacency in your marriage- What attempts at connection with your partner are you responding to?&nbsp;- The opposite of complacency is intentional action- Appreciating the power of visualization- Can you remember a time when you felt so happy to be with your partner?- Dropping down into the memory of when you felt loved and in love- When you change the way you look at things, the way you look at things changesAnd so much more!Resources:- John Gottman’s Love Lab (article) - This is the math equation that 'makes you or breaks you' in a marriage, says love researchers John and Julie Gottman- Virginia Satir (biography) - Virginia Satir BiographyConnect with Robert and Sharla Snow:- Website: masteryourmarriagepodcast.com&nbsp;- Instagram - https://www.instagram.com/masteryourmarriage/- Facebook - Facebook.com/masteryourmarriage- TikTok...

The average couple waits 6 years to get help in their marriage. That's 6 years of pain, hurt, frustration and lost opportunity.&nbsp;This podcast is designed to help you NOT become a part of that statistic.Hosted by Dr. Robert and Sharla Snow — themselves married for 31 years — The Master Your Marriage show is here with straight-talking guidance on how to fill your marriage with fun, friendship and love, without it ever feeling like "hard work."No matter how long you've been struggling with your marriage, or how long it's been since you've felt that "spark," we promise you, there is hope!&nbsp;Your MASTERFUL marriage starts here.