Episode 92: Why Isn’t This Working?What to Do When Your Attempts at Healthy Conflict Resolution Seem to FailIn this episode, Lauren and Jay dive into the frustrating moments when your best efforts at conflict resolution just aren’t cutting it. If you’ve ever wondered, “Why isn’t this working?”—this one’s for you! They walk through five key checkpoints to help you figure out where things might be going wrong and how to adjust.5-Point Check for Healthy Conflict ResolutionAre We Even Talking About the Same Thing?Heated arguments are often not just about the issue at hand.Ask yourself: What’s this really about? Are there underlying issues driving the conflict?Are You Able to Communicate a Real Need?When you struggle to express your needs, you might shut down or get angry.Take a moment to dig deep and identify the real need behind the emotions you're feeling.Send the Right “I-Messages.”Keep your message concise—too many words can muddy the water.Remember, you’re responsible for how you communicate, not how your partner responds.Your partner might respond poorly, especially if they feel shame or misunderstood, but focus on managing yourself.Plan Ahead for Triggers.Know what tends to set you off and create a strategy to stay on course.When those triggers hit, stick to the plan—no detours!Stick to the Script—Your Way Isn’t Working!Use tools like our Conflict Resolution Cheat Sheet to stay on track. (Get it by taking our free marriage assessment [link].)What if your partner isn’t playing by the rules? Stay focused on what you can control and keep improving.Bonus Tip: Learn from Feedback“We grow to the level of feedback we are willing to take.” After each conflict, reflect on what worked and what didn’t. This is how real growth happens.Tune in now for practical advice, personal stories, and tips you can apply today to navigate conflict with more success.Resources Mentioned:Take the free marriage assessment and receive the Conflict Resolution Cheat Sheet [https://www.jasonandlaurenvallotton.com/]. Connect with Lauren:InstagramFacebookConnect with Jason:Jay’s InstagramJay’s FacebookBraveCo Instagramwww.braveco.org

A note from Jason and Lauren: Ever feel emotionally disconnected, even in a healthy relationship? That was us this past month. Life got busy, stress built up, and before we knew it, we hit a wall—what we now call “disconnection week.”In this episode, we’re pulling back the curtain to share how we navigated those difficult moments in real time. Whether you’ve been married 5 months or 50 years, connection takes intentional work. Conflict will come, but how you handle it makes all the difference. Connect with Lauren:InstagramFacebookConnect with Jason:Jay’s InstagramJay’s FacebookBraveCo Instagramwww.braveco.org

In this insightful Q&A session, the Vallottons tackle 5 questions submitted by listeners pertaining to marriage and friendship.Questions Answered in This Episode:1. When one spouse feels the need for separation to heal and rebuild, but the other is unwilling, what do you do?Make a real plan if you separate, and get help doing itBuild a NEW marriage, not fix the oldFocus present-future, and not on the tangle from the pastReal justice is getting what God paid for, not getting an apology2. What specific emotional needs are unhealthy in opposite sex friendships?It’s less about a specific list of needs that are or aren’t ok to be met by an opposite sex friend. It’s more about the depth of intimacy in ANY area that you allow yourself to go to.When you invest emotional intimacy into friendships with the opposite sex, and then that person finds a committed partner, you’re putting yourself in a position to be left and wondering if your heart is valuable.Our single seasons are meant for investing in same-sex friendships and vibrant community, not opposite-sex intimacy.3. Do you have any suggestions for dealing with narcissistic tendencies in a spouse?Be careful not to label your spouse with a disorder! Selfishness and an inability to care for you well does not make your spouse a narcissist.There are true narcissists, however! You should get a professional to help you diagnose and treat. Ultimately a narcissist will need a full rewiring, which they’ll need a professional to help with.Use healthy boundaries in the process!4. How do you recharge well when you have a marriage and family and work to take care of?Plan aheadGet small breaks but plan for the full recharge momentsGrow in an awareness of HOW you like to fully rechargeBecome a great teammate with your spouse so you get the support you need without derailing your family when you need to recharge.5. I’m a husband and a father that loves God, but I just don’t feel a lot of purpose or motivation, and I keep getting stuck in this rut. What should I do? Men get trapped in being self-focused and forget that the POINT of focusing on me is so I can be great for other people. Cure to addiction, not wanting to be present at homeLife should be about leading others well, not just selfBeing a leader is one of the most important jobs on the planet. Moses freed 400 years of bondage because he lead… Connect with Lauren:InstagramFacebookConnect with Jason:Jay’s InstagramJay’s FacebookBraveCo Instagramwww.braveco.org

Have you ever wondered how faith can transform your life and relationships? In this special episode, the Vallotton’s are honored to be joined by Dru Hammer, an extraordinary woman whose journey of faith and resilience shines through in every aspect of her life.Dru Hammer, originally from Tulsa, Oklahoma, shares the profound spiritual awakening of her father, which is captured in her book Hammered. Her story reveals the power of faith to transform individuals and families, especially in times of hardship. From navigating divorce and infidelity to finding peace and healing through a spiritual pilgrimage to Israel, Dru's journey of forgiveness, resilience, and the divine guidance that shaped her path offers hope to anyone facing life's struggles.One of the most powerful moments in this episode is when Dru talks about a heart-shaped stone she found on her trip to Israel, symbolizing renewed hope and God's ever-present love. She emphasizes the importance of surrounding oneself with supportive friends, spiritual leaders, and immersing in Biblical teachings to find strength during life's darkest moments.Parenting and personal growth also take center stage as Dru shares her experiences raising children with strong faith-based values in a world that increasingly questions religion. She opens up about her son Armie's journey from deep church involvement to questioning his faith, and the challenges she faced as a single parent post-divorce. Her volunteer work at the Los Angeles Dream Center adds another layer to her story, revealing how helping others in recovery led to her own unexpected spiritual growth and support.This heartfelt episode closes with Dru's inspiring message about the importance of faith, resilience, and never giving up, no matter the challenges. Whether you're seeking solace, direction, or simply want to hear an incredible story of hope, this episode is a testament to the power of faith to heal and transform.Tune in for a conversation full of wisdom, faith, and the reminder that you are never alone in your journey. Connect with Lauren:InstagramFacebookConnect with Jason:Jay’s InstagramJay’s FacebookBraveCo Instagramwww.braveco.org

Lauren introduces the episode by announcing that applications for The Marriage Intensive are open!As the fourth and final episode in The Measure of Marriage series, the Vallottons introduce Riley and Candace Stuart to listeners as a young married couple who have been able to identify issues, work on them, and experience the beautiful fruit of working hard on their marriage connection. Get ready to be inspired by their love story and the practical insights they offer from their six-year relationship.Ever wondered what it’s like to navigate the early stages of marriage? Riley and Candace open up about the unexpected pressures and challenges they faced in their first year. Riley reveals the stress and anxiety he felt trying to live up to his own expectations as a husband, while Candace emphasizes the transformative power of empathy and compassion. Their stories of personal growth and mutual support highlight the essential role of humility and understanding in overcoming marital hurdles.Investing in your personal growth and relationship can be truly transformative. Riley and Candace discuss the pitfalls of passivity and people-pleasing, and the significant impact professional help had on their communication and emotional well-being. Learn from their experiences about the importance of validating each other's emotions, preparing for future challenges, and maintaining a strong, connected partnership. Don’t miss this episode packed with practical tools and heartfelt stories that can help any couple foster a deeper, more resilient bond. Connect with Lauren:InstagramFacebookConnect with Jason:Jay’s InstagramJay’s FacebookBraveCo Instagramwww.braveco.org

Lauren opens the episode by setting the context for today’s discussion as part 3 in a 4-part mini series with today’s topic being “dynamic” couples. Listeners should visit jasonandlaurenvallotton.com to take the free marriage assessment to get a real-time look at the state of your relationship. Understanding the three possible categories is essential to chart a pathway forward for growth in your marriage.Segment 1: What Does a Dynamic Marriage Feel Like?Jason begins by describing the feelings associated with a dynamic marriage, where both partners feel valued and connected:For Women: Feeling known, seen, heard, and valued.For Men: Feeling respected and believed in.Trust and Safety: Both partners believe they can tell the truth to one another and that the other is their safest place.Presence and Teamwork: Feeling each other’s presence and making decisions as a team.Hope for the Future: Believing in their ability to navigate hardships together with hope.Jason emphasizes that life isn’t necessarily easier for these couples, but they have practiced the necessary skills so much that they know what to do when challenges arise.Segment 2: Contributors to a Dynamic MarriageJason discusses the key factors that contribute to a dynamic and thriving marriage:Covenant Commitment: A deep, unwavering commitment to each other.Emotional Connection: Maintaining a strong emotional bond.Communication and Conflict Resolution: Effective communication and the ability to resolve conflicts constructively.Standards and Boundaries: The ability to set and keep standards that support the relationship.Turning Towards Each Other: Making a habit of turning towards each other first, especially in times of stress.Teamwork: Operating as a team in all aspects of life.Segment 3: How to Achieve a Dynamic MarriageJason provides actionable steps couples can take to move towards a dynamic marriage:Understanding Your Normal: Recognizing what is “normal” in your relationship and identifying what adjustments are needed to create a culture that both partners feel good about.Practice Makes Perfect: Continuously practicing new ways of being, thinking, and communicating until they become the new normal.Trust-Building: Trust is often built when someone makes a mistake and then takes responsibility to clean it up, reinforcing safety and reliability in the relationship. Connect with Lauren:InstagramFacebookConnect with Jason:Jay’s InstagramJay’s FacebookBraveCo Instagramwww.braveco.org

Lauren opens the episode by setting the context for today’s discussion as part 2 in a 4-part mini series with today’s topic being “developing” couples. Listeners should visit jasonandlaurenvallotton.com to take the free marriage assessment to get a real-time look at the state of your relationship. Understanding the three possible categories is essential to chart a pathway forward for growth in your marriage.Segment 1: Recognizing the Need for GrowthJason describes the subtle signs that signal a marriage needs development. These signs might manifest as a feeling that the marriage should be better, or they might surface after a significant event that reveals the need for work to achieve a healthy relationship.Key points discussed include:"Good Enough" Syndrome: Couples might feel they are “good enough” but still experience loneliness in certain areas, avoiding painful topics while focusing on what works well.Dissatisfaction: A feeling of dissatisfaction without clarity on whether it’s valid or how to address it.Partial Understanding: Feeling only partially known by your partner, recognizing areas in the marriage that lack strength, particularly in communication and conflict resolution.Recurring Disagreements: Persistent disagreements that never seem to find true resolution, often leading to fear of expressing true thoughts or feelings.Segment 2: Contributors to a Developing MarriageJason dives into the factors that contribute to a marriage being in a developing stage, emphasizing the lack of intentional growth.Key factors include:Outdated Skills: Many couples continue using communication, connection, and conflict resolution skills that they developed in high school, which are no longer sufficient.Pressure of Life: The added responsibilities of kids and full-time work put immense pressure on marriage, necessitating growth in both capacity and competency.Outdated Operating Systems: Jason likens it to using an old operating system under new pressures, which leads to feeling overwhelmed and quickly bankrupt in key areas of the relationship.Accumulation of Unresolved Issues: Over time, unresolved conflicts build up, creating ongoing pain, and couples have less grace for old, painful habits. The attitude of “that’s just who I am” can become a barrier to growth.Segment 3: Moving Toward Connection and GrowthJason outlines the steps necessary for couples to transition from a developing stage to a more connected and fulfilling marriage. He shares insights, observing that many couples experience a great awakening, often after a failure, which leads to a determination to rebuild their marriage.Steps to move forward include:Identifying Pain Points: Couples must be willing to focus on what they are contributing to the issues, taking ownership of their actions.Setting Clear Targets: A clear and consistent plan is essential. Couples should agree on targets and work together to achieve them.Relying on Guidance: Counseling, courses, or other structured programs can be invaluable. Jason emphasizes the importance of trusting someone else’s plan rather than trying to navigate the challenges alone. Making an investment in professional guidance can be a game-changer. Connect with Lauren:InstagramFacebookConnect with Jason:Jay’s InstagramJay’s FacebookBraveCo Instagramwww.braveco.org

Lauren opens the episode by setting the context for today’s discussion as part 1 in a 4-part mini series with today’s topic being “disconnected” couples. She encourages listeners to visit jasonandlaurenvallotton.com to take the free marriage assessment, a tool designed to give a real-time look at the state of your relationship. She emphasizes that understanding the three possible categories is essential to chart a pathway forward for growth in your marriage.Segment 1: Understanding Disconnection in MarriageJason begins by sharing a profound truth: “People don’t fall out of love; they become disconnected.” He then dives into the feelings and signs of disconnection:Your partner feels like the enemy: You might find yourself arguing with them, even when they’re not around.Emotional Safety: You feel unsafe to share your true emotions, leading to hiding or dishonesty.Building a Case: You spend time thinking about how you’re right and they’re wrong, instead of seeking connection.Self-Protection: You stop asking for help, become self-sufficient, and focus on meeting your needs independently.Segment 2: Contributors to a Disconnected MarriageJason shares a personal story from early in his marriage, where unresolved conflict led him to shut down emotionally. He explains that poor communication and conflict resolution skills are major contributors to disconnection. However, he clarifies that conflict itself isn’t the problem; it’s the inability to work through it effectively.Key points discussed include:Past Traumas and Unhealed Pain: How these can dictate decisions and create barriers to connection.Addictions: The role of substances or behaviors like alcohol, porn, drugs, or overwork in eroding trust and credibility in a marriage.Self-Love: Jason emphasizes that your ability to love and care for yourself directly impacts how you love your partner.Segment 3: Moving Toward ConnectionJason talks about the importance of courage, compassion, authenticity, and vulnerability in creating pathways to connection. He references Brené Brown’s book Daring Greatly (link), underscoring that connection starts with personal responsibility.He highlights the following steps:Ownership and Humility: Jason shares a personal story of a fight outside the church, illustrating the importance of focusing on your part in a conflict.Gottman’s Repair Attempts: Referencing a fight in Hawaii, Jason discusses the value of repair attempts in restoring connection. He points listeners to Gottman’s book (link).Making Amends: Jason advises that sometimes reconnection requires making amends, especially when your partner hasn’t felt seen, heard, known, or validated in their pain.Resources:Vallotton's Marriage Connection AssessmentBrown’s Daring Greatly: Amazon LinkGottman’s The Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work: Amazon Link Connect with Lauren:InstagramFacebookConnect with Jason:Jay’s InstagramJay’s FacebookBraveCo Instagramwww.braveco.org

In this enlightening episode, Jason and Lauren Vallotton sit down with Ken Williams, a father of four and co-founder of the Changed Movement, to discuss one of the most critical and often challenging topics for parents today: how to talk to your kids about sex and sexuality. Ken shares his transformative journey of overcoming same-sex attraction and dedicating his life to helping others.This episode emphasizes the 'first mention principle,' guiding parents on how to be the primary source of information for their children on topics of sex and sexuality. They dive deep into the following points:Key Talking Points:1. When and How to Talk to Your Kids About SexTiming is Key: Understanding when to start conversations about sex with your children and how to approach it based on their age and maturity.Parental Responsibility: Discussing how character development and sex education is primarily the role of the parent, referencing Dr. Stan Jones’ principles on the subject.Age-Based Conversations: Jason and Ken outline the age-appropriate conversations every parent should have to ensure comprehensive sexual education for their kids.Resource Highlight: God’s Design for Sex by Dr. Stan Jones is recommended as a foundational resource for parents.2. Stewarding the Power of SexualityKen’s Insights: Helping your children understand and steward the powerful aspects of sexuality and reproduction responsibly.Vision and Development: Why attaching a clear vision to your children’s development helps prevent emotions and circumstances from dictating their views on sexuality.Avoiding the Pitfall of “The Talk”: Exploring where parents often go wrong by treating sex education as a one-time conversation rather than an ongoing dialogue.Purpose Behind the Drive: The importance of helping kids understand why they have a sex drive and how vision gives purpose to the discipline needed to protect it.3. Addressing Gender Confusion and IdentityCultural Shifts: Jason and Ken discuss the rising percentage of young people identifying as LGBTQ+ and the cultural changes influencing this shift.Core Values vs. Cultural Norms: How parents can uphold their core beliefs and values while navigating relationships in a society with diverse views on gender and sexuality.Building Strong Identity: Practical advice for building a strong sense of identity in your kids to combat confusion about gender and sexuality.Compassion and Truth: Encouraging parents to raise kids who show compassion towards others while holding onto truth, and discussing the lies being fed to kids about gender identity.Personal Story: Jason shares his own story of navigating fear and confusion about his sexual identity.Resources Mentioned:Moral Revolution's Parent Well: A valuable resource for parents navigating these complex topics.God’s Design for Sex: A recommended read by Dr. Stan Jones.Changed Movement: Visit ChangedMovement.com and check out their ebook “Self Discovery” for more insights and support. Connect with Lauren:InstagramFacebookConnect with Jason:Jay’s InstagramJay’s FacebookBraveCo Instagramwww.braveco.org

This is the second part in a three part series on Parenting the Hard Stuff! In this episode, Jason and Lauren Vallotton sit down with Ben and Brittney Serpell, parents of three and Senior Leaders at Loving on Purpose, to discuss the challenges of guiding children through the world of dating.Key Discussion Points:Imperfect Parenting: Brittney Serpell shares her thoughts on navigating the ups and downs of parenting, emphasizing the importance of connection with your children.When is the Right Time to Start Dating? The Serpells discuss the idea that there is no "one size fits all" answer, as each child is unique. They stress the importance of maturity, connection with parents, and a relationship with God in guiding this decision.Preparing Kids for Dating: Learn how to set expectations for your children as they start exploring romantic relationships. The Serpells discuss the importance of helping kids understand the emotions and decisions that come with liking someone.Purpose of Dating: We explore the idea that dating in youth should be about getting to know someone, having fun, and learning about yourself—rather than searching for a lifelong partner.Parental Intervention: The Serpells share a personal story about their daughter Delani and how they navigated a challenging dating situation. They also offer advice on when and how parents should step in if things aren’t going well.Navigating Screens in Dating: With technology playing a significant role in today’s dating world, Ben and Brittney discuss the importance of helping kids filter their communication and make wise choices.Leading Kids Through Dating: The conversation delves into guiding children through the emotional, physical, and relational aspects of dating, emphasizing the need to balance validation with pointing them toward healthy relationships.Understanding Love vs. Passion: The Serpells talk about helping kids differentiate between love and passion, and the importance of maturity in relationships.Affiliate Linked Resources:Imperfect Parenting by Brittney Serpell is recommended for parents who are wanting to grow in connection-based parenting.Dr. Meg Meeker's books are recommended for parents who working to build their sons and daughters.Strong Fathers, Strong DaughtersStrong Mothers, Strong Sons Connect with Lauren:InstagramFacebookConnect with Jason:Jay’s InstagramJay’s FacebookBraveCo Instagramwww.braveco.org

Biggest Challenges Parents Face:The primary challenges include managing the pervasive presence of technology and its impact on children. Parents must prioritize training their children in godly principles. The need for intentionality is crucial, as the internet is actively influencing and potentially addicting children to screens.45% of teens report being online almost constantly (Pew Research Center). The average age for creating a first social media account is 12.6 years. Parents must evaluate their own technology use to effectively guide their children.Technology's Influence on Development:Technology affects emotional, social, and cognitive development, particularly in early childhood. Excessive screen time can lead to:Addiction due to dopamine hitsA lack of essential life skills, resulting in instant gratification, a false sense of accomplishment and poor relationship/communication skillsDecreased attention spans:The AAP recommends no more than one 1 of screen time per day for children aged 2 to 5 and consistent limits for older kids. Kids aged 8 to 12 spend an average of 4.75 hours on screens daily (2023 study).60% of parents with children aged 8 to 12 are worried about online privacy.Nearly 40% of children aged 10 to 17 report being bullied online.Practical Suggestions:Teach children that trust and connection are the most valuable commodities. “If I trust you, you get so much freedom.” Create age-appropriate boundaries for technology use.Enforce boundaries without fostering conflict or resentment.Encourage children to set their own boundaries.Delay giving children phones until at least 8th grade.Establish a bedtime for phones.Consider options like the GABB phone and Bark phoneTailor screen time based on the level of freedom your child can handle.Recommended Resources:Defend Young Minds  - Vallotton affiliate linksBrain Defense resources for families, classrooms, schools, etc.Brain Defense home pageAmazon affiliate link to  booksGood Pictures Bad Pictures Jr.Good Pictures, Bad Pictures for older kids Protect Young EyesCommon Sense MediaGuests: Cole & Caitlin Zick, Pastors of Risen King Church in Redding, CA, and Former Directors of Moral Revolution Connect with Lauren:InstagramFacebookConnect with Jason:Jay’s InstagramJay’s FacebookBraveCo Instagramwww.braveco.org

Episode Overview:In this heartfelt episode, Jason and Lauren delve into the transformative power of life with Jesus and how it serves as the ultimate foundation for relational health. They share personal stories, reflect on their spiritual journeys, and discuss the profound impact of understanding Jesus as both a savior and a relational companion.Key Discussion Points:The Vallotton’s Foundations of Faith:Jason’s Upbringing: Jason recounts growing up in a home where the supernatural was a regular part of life. With parents who pastored a small community church, Jason experienced a world where the angelic and the demonic were very real, shaping his understanding of faith.Lauren’s Journey: Lauren reflects on her evolving understanding of salvation, contrasting her early perceptions with her deeper, more mature insights today.Understanding Salvation:Early vs. Present Views: Lauren discusses how her concept of salvation as a young girl differed from her current perspective, emphasizing the relational aspect of Jesus over mere religious concepts.Relationship with Jesus: Both hosts highlight the significance of Jesus’s promise to be with us, focusing on how this relationship is central to overcoming life's challenges and finding true peace.Favorite Scriptures:Philippians 4: Emphasis on peace and contentment through Christ.James 1: Insights on perseverance and wisdom.Joshua 1:9: Encouragement to be strong and courageous, with God’s presence.Isaiah 12:2: The joy and salvation found in trusting God.Christ’s Role in Our Lives:Relational Health: The discussion centers on how Jesus takes upon Himself our impossibilities, shortcomings, and burdens, offering a relationship that surpasses mere religious practice.The Ultimate Price: Jason and Lauren reflect on the beautiful truth that Christ not only addresses our struggles but desires a deep, personal relationship with us. Connect with Lauren:InstagramFacebookConnect with Jason:Jay’s InstagramJay’s FacebookBraveCo Instagramwww.braveco.org

In this episode, the Vallottons share some insights after their recent experience when Jason handled solo parenting for six days while Lauren was away. Families can set themselves up for success during these times by paying attention to the following categories and planning ahead!Prep for Leaving:Ask the Right Questions: Before you leave, ask your partner if there's anything specific they would love you to do or set up. It's important to know their actual needs versus what you think might help. Babysitters and Meals: Arrange for babysitters and meal planning in advance to reduce the stress on your partner.Household Tasks: Take care of essential household tasks before leaving to ensure a smooth operation while you're away.Lists: Create a list of important information, but don’t be surprised if it’s not needed.Packing: Don’t wait until the last minute to pack. Being prepared ahead of time reduces stress for everyone.Setting the Kids Up for Success:Thoughtful Gestures: Find ways to help the kids feel connected while you're gone.FaceTime Flexibility: Don’t force FaceTime calls if the kids are not in the right mood. It's better to have quality conversations when everyone is in a good place.Routine Maintenance: Keep the kids' routine as consistent as possible, even when one parent is away. This helps provide stability.Activity Planning: Make a plan for fun activities the kids will enjoy.Couples Connect:Virtual Dates: It’s possible to have an intimate date via FaceTime. Set aside time to connect as a couple even when apart.Processing Time: Allow each other time to process the separation and share feelings, even while apart.Small Touchpoints: Send small, thoughtful messages or texts to stay connected throughout the day.Think About Re-Entry Ahead of Time:Itinerary Planning: Consider your return itinerary based on your needs and those of the family.Expectation Management: Acknowledge that being away is not always a vacation. Coming home might not mean feeling refreshed. Plan accordingly to accommodate both partners' needs.Physical Intimacy: It's important to discuss and manage expectations about sex when returning from a trip.Re-entry Stress: Talk as a couple about potential re-entry stress and how to mitigate it. Connect with Lauren:InstagramFacebookConnect with Jason:Jay’s InstagramJay’s FacebookBraveCo Instagramwww.braveco.org

Money can be a tough topic for marriages and relationships, especially in today's challenging financial climate. Finances can become a minefield for some couples, but achieving a life of peace and power in every area, including finances, is possible. Peace isn't about the absence of conflict or troubles; it's about having a plan.In this dynamic and empowering episode, Jason Vallotton sits down with his good friend Chris Lamm, owner of Mortgage One in Redding, California, and host of the Money Whole podcast. Together, they address the keys to moving towards financial freedom and fostering financial harmony in relationships.Seek Expertise: Find someone who’s better at managing finances than you and ask for help.Budgeting: Utilize a personal family budget to track and manage expenses effectively.Long-Term Vision: Create a long-term vision for where you want to be financially, then reverse-engineer that vision to set achievable goals.Strategic Financial Management: Be strategic with income, investments, and savings by either increasing your income, cutting unnecessary spending, or both.Overcoming Barriers: Address barriers to financial growth, including fear and uncertainty.Take Action: Take proactive steps towards your financial goals, no matter how small they may seem.Quotes:"Peace isn't the absence of conflict or troubles; it exists when you have a plan.""People want to feel powerful in every area of life, finances included."Resources:Mortgage OneMoney Whole Podcast Connect with Lauren:InstagramFacebookConnect with Jason:Jay’s InstagramJay’s FacebookBraveCo Instagramwww.braveco.org

In this insightful Q&A session, the Vallottons tackle some of the most pressing questions about relationships, marriage, and friendship.Questions Answered in This Episode:Sexual Attraction in Marriage After Weight GainDiscussion Points:Understanding how physical changes can impact attraction.Strategies to maintain intimacy and emotional connection.Fostering open and honest communication with your partner about these changes.Dealing with Insecurities: Boyfriend's Gorgeous Female FriendDiscussion Points:Navigating feelings of insecurity and jealousy in a relationship.Importance of trust and open dialogue with your partner.Setting healthy boundaries.Building a Friend Group as a Guy: Importance of Thriving MarriagesDiscussion Points:The challenge of finding male friends who are committed to their marriages.How to cultivate friendships that support and reinforce positive relationship values.Evaluating the importance of shared values in friendships with regards to taking ownership over areas of your life that need work.Knowing When to Stop Fighting for Your MarriageDiscussion Points:Make these decisions with wise counsel who know you and are in your daily life with you.Rebuilding a solid marriage with a willing spouse is always better than divorce.You can’t control anyone but yourself.Dealing with Chronic Illness and Sexual Dysfunction in MarriageDiscussion Points:Understanding the impact of chronic illness on marital intimacy.Ways to maintain physical affection and emotional closeness.Communicating needs and finding solutions together as a couple. Connect with Lauren:InstagramFacebookConnect with Jason:Jay’s InstagramJay’s FacebookBraveCo Instagramwww.braveco.org

In any deep relationship, having hard conversations is unavoidable. It's not the conflict itself that destroys connection, but rather the behavior within the conflict. Research shows that how you start a conversation determines how it ends with 80% accuracy. In this episode, we delve into the essential skill of engaging in difficult conversations in a way that builds connection rather than tearing it apart. Join the Vallottons as they explore practical strategies and mindsets for navigating these challenging moments with grace and empathy, ultimately strengthening your relationships.5 Keys to Having Hard Conversations Well:Leave Assumptions About Motives at the Door:Recognize it’s easy to see a situation only from your perspective.Understand there’s always another perspective and we rarely assume the best when emotions are high.Avoid deciding why someone does what they do or what is happening for them.Seek to Understand:Ask questions like “Can you help me understand?” instead of “Why would you do that?”Approach the conversation with curiosity and openness.Soft Startup:Use “I” statements to talk about yourself.Avoid using accusatory language like “You always…” or “You make me…”Look for Win-Wins:Strive for outcomes that benefit both parties.Focus on mutual respect and understanding. Connect with Lauren:InstagramFacebookConnect with Jason:Jay’s InstagramJay’s FacebookBraveCo Instagramwww.braveco.org

Episode 76 is a message that Jason Vallotton preached at Bethel Church on Father’s Day, 2024! Following the annual BraveCo men’s conference, Jason recalls testimonies and big wins from BraveCo’s  largest men’s event of the year before diving into a profoundly impactful message.Drawing lessons from the creation story in Genesis, Jason explores how God's structured approach to creating the world can offer us valuable insights for managing our own lives. Each day of creation holds a lesson on bringing order to our personal chaos.To wrap it up, Jason confronts chaos head-on, exploring themes of divine order and the necessity of setting boundaries. Personal stories highlight financial struggles and the fears that come with instability, offering lessons from biblical stories like the Israelites in the wilderness. He shares the importance of seeking support and true repentance as keys to transforming chaos into order in every area of life. Connect with Lauren:InstagramFacebookConnect with Jason:Jay’s InstagramJay’s FacebookBraveCo Instagramwww.braveco.org

After a two-week vacation, the Vallottons are back with an insightful episode on what to do in marriage emergencies. In this episode of Dates, Mates, and Babies, they dive deep into what truly constitutes an "emergency" in a marriage relationship. Whether it's the utterance of "I'm done" from one or both partners, the toxic presence of the Four Horsemen (criticism, contempt, defensiveness, and stonewalling), or severe issues like infidelity and addiction, they explore the signs and solutions. If you're feeling the weight of unresolved conflicts, avoiding emotional and physical connection, or dealing with major mistrust, this episode is for you.Key Points:Identifying an Emergency:One or both partners saying, “I’m done.”Presence of the Four Horsemen: Criticism, contempt, defensiveness, and stonewalling.Unresolved conflicts leading to bitterness and hopelessness.Avoiding emotional and physical connection.Infidelity and addiction.Major mistrust.Steps to Take During a Relationship Emergency:Don't Try to Solve It Alone:Reach out to a counselor.Seek support from friends.Trust someone more than yourself.Developing a Real Plan:Emergencies require real plans and a willingness to adhere to them.Avoid making plans without accountability. Who’s on your team?Ensure your plans are SMART (Specific, Measurable, Achievable, Relevant, Time-bound), not fluid or subjective.Establishing Boundaries:Understand what boundaries look like in marriage and how they are not “controlling.”Discuss when separation might be appropriate and helpful.Communicating with Your Kids:What to tell your kids and when to share it.Common Mistakes Couples Make:Trying to fix a marriage when they’re really burned out.Unwillingness to take ownership of their part.Reluctance to try again after previous efforts have failed.Takeaways:Understanding what constitutes a relationship emergency is crucial for timely intervention.Seeking external help and creating accountable, structured plans are vital steps.Setting and respecting boundaries can prevent further damage and facilitate healing.Communicating appropriately with children can mitigate their emotional burden.Avoiding common pitfalls can pave the way for more effective solutions and renewed efforts in saving the relationship.Tune in to gain insights and practical advice on navigating these challenging times in your relationship. Don't miss out on expert guidance and supportive strategies to help you through your relationship emergencies. Connect with Lauren:InstagramFacebookConnect with Jason:Jay’s InstagramJay’s FacebookBraveCo Instagramwww.braveco.org

In May of 2024, Jason and Lauren spoke at an online event with the thriving singles ministry at Life Center Church in New York City about the foundations of relational health! This episode is part two of a two part message about connection as the bedrock of relational health.This portion is a recording of the Q&A time we shared with Life Center Church at their singles event. Connect with Lauren:InstagramFacebookConnect with Jason:Jay’s InstagramJay’s FacebookBraveCo Instagramwww.braveco.org

In May of 2024, Jason and Lauren spoke at an online event with the thriving singles ministry at Life Center Church in New York City about the foundations of relational health! This episode is part one of a two part message about connection as the bedrock of relational health. Connect with Lauren:InstagramFacebookConnect with Jason:Jay’s InstagramJay’s FacebookBraveCo Instagramwww.braveco.org

In this weeks episode, hosts, Jason & Lauren Vallotton answer five questions sent in by listeners like you! Topics include the following:How do you have boundaries with all the different roles you carry in life?Where do I begin in rebuilding a dead marriage?What do you do with the tangible reminders of a relationship that has ended, like photos, dried flowers, gifts, etc?How can you create healthy boundaries in marriage?How does a young woman get ready for a healthy relationship? Connect with Lauren:InstagramFacebookConnect with Jason:Jay’s InstagramJay’s FacebookBraveCo Instagramwww.braveco.org

In this enlightening episode, the Vallottons peel back the layers on the complex art of motherhood, equipping you with five transformative strategies that promise to shift your perspective and nurture your soul. In short:Take care of yourself first! Build a support network! Prioritize your marriage over your children!Watch out for over-responsibility and shame!Plan for success!From the imperative of self-care, likened to the crucial oxygen masks on airplanes, to the power of a robust support network, the Vallottons guide you through the essentials that will not only help you flourish as a mother but also teach your children the vital importance of self-respect and personal well-being.As glasses are raised to Mother's Day, the Vallottons also shine a light on the often-overlooked cornerstone of a happy family life: your marriage. Witness as they unravel the reasons why placing your partnership before parenting isn't just good for you and your spouse, but it's the foundation for a stable, loving environment for your children.Alongside heartfelt wisdom and anecdotes, they explore the pitfalls of parenting from a place of over-responsibility and shame, and offer a peaceful, faith-centered paradigm to replace the fear and comparison that can so easily infiltrate our lives.Join the Vallottons for a journey into the heart of motherhood, where joy and balance are not just possible—they're within reach.ChatGPT can make mistakes. Check important info. Connect with Lauren:InstagramFacebookConnect with Jason:Jay’s InstagramJay’s FacebookBraveCo Instagramwww.braveco.org

In the 70th episode of their podcast, celebrating a quarter-million downloads, The Vallottons delve into the concept of emotional bank accounts. They guide listeners through recognizing the subtle signs of emotional depletion and emphasize the importance of self-care to maintain inner resilience. From navigating the challenges of loss and parenthood, they advocate for replenishing one's spirit through activities that bring joy and fulfillment to everyday life.Drawing from the insights of the Gottman Institute, The Vallottons explore the dynamics of emotional exchanges in relationships, particularly within marriages. They highlight the institute's recommendation of maintaining a golden ratio of five positive interactions to every negative one for a thriving partnership. The hosts offer practical advice on making intentional deposits into the love account through affirmations, encouragement, and thoughtful gestures that nurture the bond between partners. Connect with Lauren:InstagramFacebookConnect with Jason:Jay’s InstagramJay’s FacebookBraveCo Instagramwww.braveco.org

This episode is a discussion between hosts Jason and Lauren Vallotton about the importance of deep and fulfilling adult friendships. Inspired by recent events and discussions with others in their community, Jason and Lauren wanted to talk specifically about their own personal journeys in adult friendships as well as the practical things that people can do in order to foster deep and meaningful friendships. Inheriting a legacy of robust friendships, as exemplified by Lauren's mother, sets the stage for weaving those threads into the fabric of the Vallottons' own lives and marriage. Jason and Lauren talk about weathering the dissolution of old ties and the nurturing of new ones, all while seeking that sweet spot where companionship and friendship intersects with personal growth. Walls are torn down to reveal the stark reality of loneliness, with insights from Barna Research on discipleship and companionship being dissected, alongside sharing intimate anecdotes. Lauren and Jason candidly exchange notes on the power of shared experiences and regular check-ins, showcasing how these small, intentional acts can fortify the bridges between them.This episode serves as a reflection, a conversation, and an invitation to embrace the profound changes in how success, happiness, and fulfillment are viewed, both in careers and personal lives. It's about setting foundations for friendships that are as solid and enduring as the values held dear, and it's about opening up to the enriching experiences that come from investing in the people around us. Connect with Lauren:InstagramFacebookConnect with Jason:Jay’s InstagramJay’s FacebookBraveCo Instagramwww.braveco.org

This Q&A session is a follow-up on the recent Sex Series (episodes 62-67) and includes questions from listeners pertaining to individual, dating and marriage scenarios. The following topics are covered, and we've attached some links to other resources related:Healing from sexual past, including memories Restoration of virginity and the healing processDating  people who have extreme sexual history such as visiting prostitutes, porn, homosexuality, etcDating someone who is actively struggling with pornography but aggressively pursuing freedomPartners who are experiencing grief as they process their partner's sexual past Building trust in the healing processDiffering sex drives in marriageChronic illness and its impact on sexual relationship in marriageRESOURCES:Moral Revolution BlogThe Whole Man Project (for men regarding sexual wholeness)DMB Episodes on Processing Pain:1. Episode 20: A Plan for Pain, Part 12. Episode 21: A Plan for Pain, Part 2 Connect with Lauren:InstagramFacebookConnect with Jason:Jay’s InstagramJay’s FacebookBraveCo Instagramwww.braveco.org

In the final episode of the Sex Series, the spotlight shifts to the intricate interplay of women's health and sex in the context of marriage. Rebekah LaRobardiere, a certified sex and relationship coach, joins the discussion, guiding listeners through the delicate dance of intimacy experienced by women from adolescence to menopause. Together, they explore the dynamic relationship between the body's natural rhythms and the emotional resonance of relationships, offering empathy and understanding to harmonize these elements into a loving melody.The discussion begins with an exploration of the challenges inherent in navigating intimate waters amidst life's transitions. Shedding light on the unspoken struggles that can turn sex into a choreographed routine, rather than a spontaneous expression of love, they delve into both psychological and physiological aspects. Rebekah shares insights into the transformative potential of communication, addressing issues such as painful sex and psychological barriers, and highlighting how a deeper understanding of one's body can enhance intimate connections.The conversation concludes with a heartfelt reflection on the delicate balance between self-care and the demands of intimacy, particularly for mothers. It serves as a reminder that self-nurturance is not a solitary endeavor but an essential component of a healthy relationship. Through Rebekah's guidance, they emphasize the importance of setting personal boundaries with grace and the empowering potential of taking ownership of one's choices in the bedroom and beyond. Tune in to elevate your relationship's choreography to an art form, where each step is taken with care, understanding, and a shared sense of rhythm.---Rebekah Joy LaRobardiere is a seasoned explorer delving into the intricacies of human connection, particularly in the realms of sexuality and relationships. Rebekah embarked on her journey in 2004 when she married her Love, initiating a voyage marked by love, laughter, tears, and continual growth.As a certified Sex and Relationship Coach, Rebekah brings not only a wealth of credentials but also a profound sense of empathy, humor, and genuine humanity to her practice. With just shy of two decades of dedicated engagement in her field, she holds certifications as a sexuality educator, complemented by a background in psychology and extensive study in Somatic Experiencing theory.Moreover, Rebekah is passionate about empowering women to embrace their true selves, advocating for an appreciation of the natural cycles and phases that define our existence. By cultivating self-awareness and authenticity, individuals not only enrich their own lives but also create opportunities for those around them to pursue their desires with confidence.It's essential to dispel the misconception that Rebekah, as a Sex and Relationship Coach, hasn’t had the same struggles as many of you. On the contrary, her journey is a testament to the messy, yet beautiful, nature of human connection—a journey marked by resilience, growth, intentionality, and profound moments of tenderness. Alongside her partner, Rebekah has navigated challenges, celebrated triumphs, and embraced the transformative power of change.Connect with her on social media (@rjlcoaching) and explore her insights further at www.rjlcoaching.com.Connect with Lauren:InstagramFacebook Connect with Jason:Jay’s InstagramJay’s FacebookBraveCo Instagramwww.braveco.org

In this episode, listeners are invited to explore the complexities of marital intimacy overshadowed by past trauma, physical challenges and addiction through the compassionate insights of Dr. Glenn and Phyllis Hill from Connection Codes. The journey promised entails a path towards healing and a profound emotional bond between partners. Together, the hosts delve into the intricate dynamics of sexual trauma within marriage, emphasizing the importance of acknowledging and addressing old wounds for their dissolution. Utilizing the 'issue-specific core emotion wheel,' they navigate tender memories and advocate for the 'power of the ooh,' a simple yet impactful expression of empathy strengthening spousal bonds.Listeners are also encouraged to challenge their perceptions as the discussion also addresses the misunderstood condition of vaginismus, shedding light on its emotional foundations that contribute to a significant majority of cases. The discourse underscores the essential relationship between physical affection and emotional security, emphasizing the need for a tranquil sanctuary for sexual pleasure. Furthermore, the conversation explores the emotional weight often carried by men and women in response to sexual rejection and the importance of seeking external guidance when stuck in patters of current or past sexual addiction.Ultimately, the episode serves as more than just an informative resource; it's a heartfelt guide tailored for couples striving to honor God's design for sex within the sanctity of marriage. Through transparent communication and shared empathy, listeners are offered insights to enrich their connection and strengthen their relationship.-----Discount on all Connection Codes courses with the code JAY!-----Hills' Bio:Dr Glenn Hill is a marriage and family therapist, clinical sexologist, Connection Codescoach and author with a private practice in Nashville, TN. He considers his greatestcredential to be his 40-year marriage with Phyllis. He enjoys doing absolutely anythingwith her, especially traveling and spending time with their family of twenty.Phyllis Hill is an entrepreneur, Connection Codes coach and the engine that keepseverything running. She enjoys the partnership and adventures she and Glenn shareand loves being “Honey” to their ten grandchildren.The pain of their early married years along with decades of research and experience ledthe Hills to the founding of The Connection Codes. They counsel couples, families,individuals, churches and businesses in building deep connection. They are passionateabout the Connection Codes because of the effect on their relationship, as well asseeing the effect for countless others. It is the Hills’ mission to take the ConnectionCodes to everyone on the planet.Connect with Lauren:InstagramFacebook Connect with Jason:Jay’s InstagramJay’s FacebookBraveCo Instagramwww.braveco.org

Jason and Lauren Vallotton host Dr. Glenn and Phyllis Hill from Connection Codes as guests in Part 2 of a profound exploration of the intimate conversation about Sex in Marriage. This episode delves into the intricacies of emotional connection and how it fuels a more fulfilling sexual relationship. The Hills unravel the complexities of sex in marriage and explain that emotional safety is not just complementary to intimacy—it's foundational. The Hills' candid reflections on their journey and the practical tools they've developed, like the Core Emotion Wheel, provide actionable steps to help you articulate your feelings and desires, ensuring a richer connection with your partner.Intentionality is the key to an enhanced intimate life. Together with Dr. Glenn and Phyllis Hill, the Vallottons explore the importance of understanding the unique triggers— 'brakes and accelerators'—that influence the transition into the realm of intimacy. Discover how setting the stage with the right atmosphere and a foundation of emotional connection can significantly enhance arousal and satisfaction. Sharing insights into the art of discovering what makes us feel desired, the hosts offer strategies for couples to communicate their needs effectively. This conversation isn't just about improving your sex life; it's about elevating the entire standard of marital intimacy. Candid sharing illuminates the highs and lows of building a sexually fulfilling union, piercing through the layer of silence that often shrouds this delicate aspect of marital bliss. This episode promises an unvarnished look at the journey from purity to passion, unpacking the weighty influences of past experiences and the sheer power of connection and vulnerability between partners.-----Discount on all Connection Codes courses with the code JAY!Connect with Lauren:InstagramFacebook Connect with Jason:Jay’s InstagramJay’s FacebookBraveCo Instagramwww.braveco.org

Jason and Lauren Vallotton host Aaron and Jenna Zint as guests in Part 1 of a profound exploration of the intimate conversation about Sex in Marriage. These three questions, and more, are answered in this episode:Why is sex important in marriage?What is permissible inside of marriage, when it comes to sex?How does sex change over time and in different seasons of life in marriage?Their candid sharing illuminates the highs and lows of building a sexually fulfilling union, piercing through the layer of silence that often shrouds this delicate aspect of marital bliss. This episode promises an unvarnished look at the journey from purity to passion, unpacking the weighty influences of past experiences and the sheer power of connection and vulnerability between partners.Navigating the complexities of physical desires and emotional intricacies, we engage in heartfelt discussions about the ebb and flow of sexual drives, the pressures that accompany our most intimate moments, and how these elements craft the tapestry of our relationships. The Zints, with remarkable transparency, reveal the transformative impact of addressing unmet expectations, the echo of performance anxiety in the bedroom, and the liberating act of prioritizing emotional bonds over carnal conquests. These conversations are a testament to the courage it takes to confront the unspoken, fostering a space of trust and growth for couples like Jason and Lauren, who graciously share their story.As Jason and Lauren lead this conversation, they also contemplate the practicalities that accompany an evolving sexual relationship. This episode is an invitation for couples seeking rejuvenation and a more profound sense of togetherness. The insights of this episode serve as a lighthouse for lovers venturing through the sometimes-choppy waters of physical and emotional intimacy, offering guidance, compassion, and a shared vision for a fulfilling intimate life. Join the Vallottons to harness the transformative power of trust and communication on the sacred journey of marriage.-----Aaron and Jenna Zint bring nearly 10 years of experience to emotional and relational health coaching, specializing in developing healthy habits around growth area goals. They have worked with a diverse range of male and female clients, empowering them to unlock their full potential and achieve lasting results. Aside from coaching, Jenna is a Bethel Ministry School alumni and deacon at Bethel Church in Redding, California. She runs a business called The Habit Lab. Aaron also graduated from Bethel School of Ministry and is the leader of The Whole Man Project at Bethel Church. They can also be found in the podcast space with The Habit Lab and Marriage Lab. The Zints have been married for 14 years and have three children. Jenna's passion is helping people put action-steps to their breakthrough and healing journey, and Aaron's passion is helping men break out of areas they feel stuck in. Together, they're committed to providing personalized support tailored to each client's unique needs and aspirations.Connect with Lauren:InstagramFacebook Connect with Jason:Jay’s InstagramJay’s FacebookBraveCo Instagramwww.braveco.org

In the second week of this Sex Series, Jason and Lauren navigate the sensitive terrains of intimacy, commitment, and faith in the context of premarital sex. Prepare to unravel the layers of emotional and spiritual significance that frame this topic, as they offer perspectives that could profoundly alter your understanding of relationships and self-control. Jason and Lauren engage in candid conversation about the reasons and ramifications of sexual purity, as seen through cultural and biblical lenses. They dissect the emotional resilience that stems from delayed gratification, and extend a compassionate hand to those reconciling their past with their ongoing spiritual journey.The fabric of modern sexuality is thoroughly examined, revealing its intricate weave of emotional needs and societal evolution. The Vallottons scrutinize the repercussions of hypersexual relationships, considering their impact on the fundamental pillars of trust and intimacy—essentials for a lasting bond. Touching upon the seismic shift brought forth by the sexual revolution, Jason and Lauren reflect on its echoes in today's family dynamics and personal interactions. And they approach the sanctuary of marriage, we delve into the unique trust and intimacy that blooms within its protective walls, contrasting it with the transient thrills often found outside of this covenant. Join the Vallottons on this thoughtful expedition, where the true meaning of giving, not just taking, in relationships is brought to light.Connect with Lauren:InstagramFacebook Connect with Jason:Jay’s InstagramJay’s FacebookBraveCo Instagramwww.braveco.org

Step into the inaugural episode of an enlightening series on human sexuality with hosts Jason and Lauren Vallotton, accompanied by special guests Cole and Caitlin Zick. Together, they embark on a journey of exploration and discovery, unraveling the complexities of desire, intimacy, and spirituality in the context of God's design for sex.In this foundational episode, they delve into four fundamental questions that set the stage for deeper exploration in the episodes to come:Why Did God Create Sex?Delve into the divine purpose behind the gift of sexuality as they unpack the theological significance of human intimacy. Through scripture, personal reflection, and shared wisdom, they illuminate the sacred nature of sexual union within the context of God's overarching plan for humanity.Why Did God Create Us With a Sex Drive?Explore the intricate interplay between biology, psychology, and spirituality as they probe the origins of our sexual desires. Engage in a dialogue that seeks to understand how our sex drive shapes our identity, relationships, and spiritual journey.What Happens to Us During Sex?Peer beneath the surface of physical intimacy to uncover the profound physiological, emotional, and spiritual dynamics at play. From the release of neurotransmitters to the forging of deep connections, they shed light on the transformative power of sexual union in the human experience.How Do You Manage a Sex Drive?Equip yourself with practical insights and scriptural wisdom for navigating the complexities of sexual desire with integrity and grace. Discover strategies for cultivating self-awareness, setting healthy boundaries, and aligning sexual expression with personal values and relational commitments.Connect with Lauren:InstagramFacebook Connect with Jason:Jay’s InstagramJay’s FacebookBraveCo Instagramwww.braveco.org

In this episode, the Vallottons delve into the multifaceted journey of parenting, exploring the joys amidst the challenges. From embracing the chaos of everyday life with little ones to finding solace in routine, they uncover the valuable lessons that parenthood imparts.The Joy of Having the Littles in the Midst of the Hardships of Life:Parenthood is a rollercoaster ride of emotions, where moments of joy often intermingle with the challenges.Despite the chaos and exhaustion, there's an unparalleled joy in witnessing the growth and development of our little ones.Finding beauty in the ordinary moments, even amidst the toughest days, can be a source of profound fulfillment.How Much Routine Matters:Establishing a routine can provide a sense of stability and predictability for both parents and children.Routines help foster a sense of security and confidence in children, enabling them to navigate daily life more smoothly.While flexibility is essential, having a basic structure in place can alleviate stress and promote a more harmonious household.Routines creates room for creativity and imagination.Sensory/Regulation :Understanding sensory processing and regulation is crucial for supporting children's emotional well-being.Sensory experiences play a significant role in how children perceive and interact with the world around them.Implementing strategies to support sensory needs can enhance children's ability to self-regulate and cope with challenges more effectively.It's not about "gentle parenting" as much as it is "informed and wholistic parenting."Nothing Lasts Forever:Parenthood is a journey characterized by constant change and evolution.The challenging phases eventually pass, making way for new experiences and milestones.Embracing the impermanence of parenthood can cultivate a sense of resilience and adaptability, helping parents navigate transitions with grace.Hard Times Produce Good Perspective:Adversity has a way of shaping our perspective and priorities as parents.Difficult times can offer valuable lessons and opportunities for personal growth.Through resilience and perseverance, parents can emerge stronger and more resilient, equipped with newfound wisdom and perspective.Parenting is a dynamic and transformative journey, filled with both joy and challenges. By embracing the highs and lows, finding solace in routine, and nurturing our children's sensory needs, we can navigate parenthood with grace and resilience. Remember, amidst the chaos, there's beauty in the everyday moments, and nothing lasts forever.Connect with Lauren:InstagramFacebook Connect with Jason:Jay’s InstagramJay’s FacebookBraveCo Instagramwww.braveco.org

This Q&A session with the Vallotton covers a variety of interesting topics! Here are the questions they cover in Episode 60:What hard things might come up in a dating relationship that aren’t deal-breakers but should cause me to press in and explore more rather than end the relationship?What if you connect with someone in a dating relationship in every way BUT your faith? How do you balance friendship with your kids versus being an authoritative parent?In a separation due to my mental health issues, how do I behave around my husband to give me the best chance of seeing my marriage restored?What do I do when my boyfriend is emotionally unavailable because he’s hurt from his past?How do you see your blindspots in marriage?Connect with Lauren:InstagramFacebook Connect with Jason:Jay’s InstagramJay’s FacebookBraveCo Instagramwww.braveco.org

Episode Summary:In this episode, the Vallottons dive into the delicate decision of whether to end a dating relationship. With a focus on self-respect and personal well-being, they explore ten crucial reasons why staying might not be the best option.Show Notes:Abuse: Any form of abuse, be it physical, emotional, or verbal, should never be tolerated in a relationship. Recognizing and addressing abuse is paramount for your safety and mental health.Constant Unresolved Conflict: Relationships are bound to have disagreements, but when conflicts remain unresolved and turn into a pattern, it may signify deeper issues that could be detrimental to the relationship's longevity.No Ownership: Both partners need to take responsibility for their actions and contributions to the relationship. If one or both parties consistently deflect blame or refuse to acknowledge their role in conflicts, it can lead to a toxic dynamic.Lack of Self-Control: When one or both partners struggle with controlling their impulses, emotions, or actions, it can create instability and insecurity within the relationship.Continual Lying: Trust is the foundation of any healthy relationship. Continuous deception erodes this trust and can cause irreparable damage to the relationship's integrity.Lack of Enjoyment: Relationships should bring joy and fulfillment. If you find yourself consistently unhappy or unfulfilled, it's essential to assess whether the relationship is meeting your emotional needs.Core Values Don't Align: Misalignment in core values, such as beliefs, goals, or life priorities, can lead to ongoing conflicts and dissatisfaction within the relationship.Unwillingness to Seek Feedback or Advice: Healthy relationships require open communication and a willingness to seek guidance when needed. If one or both partners refuse to seek outside perspectives or help, it can hinder the relationship's growth and resolution of issues.No Mutual Effort: Successful relationships thrive on mutual effort and investment from both partners. If one person consistently carries the burden of maintaining the relationship or making compromises, it can lead to resentment and imbalance.Lack of Respect: Respect forms the cornerstone of a healthy relationship. If you find yourself lacking respect for your partner or feeling disrespected in return, it may be a sign that the relationship is no longer sustainable.Closing Thoughts:Ending a relationship is never easy, but prioritizing health and keeping a standard is paramount. By recognizing these ten red flags, you can make a more informed decision about whether to stay or go in your dating relationship. We can't be more afraid of being alone than we are willing to keep a healthy standard for our most intimate relationships!Connect with Lauren:InstagramFacebook Connect with Jason:Jay’s InstagramJay’s FacebookBraveCo Instagramwww.braveco.org

Join the Vallottons as they unwrap the mysteries of love, drawing from their own story that began just after Valentine's Day, 2010! They'll take you through the twists of their relationship, from the early days of butterflies and bashfulness to the profound bond they've nurtured over a decade. Love's true nature often gets lost in the clichés, but they're here to share how they found its deeper meaning and made it the cornerstone of their life together.As they reflect on the question that puzzles poets and philosophers alike—"What is love?"—they offer their insights on distinguishing the fleeting from the forever. They'll explore the complexities that can be mistaken for love and discuss different forms of affection, from friendship to unconditional love, with Biblical and Greek definitions of love as the plumb line. But it's not all abstract; they'll also talk about the everyday choices and actions that sustain a lasting connection. So tune in, and let's celebrate love with a candid look at what it takes to make it thrive through every season.Connect with Lauren:InstagramFacebook Connect with Jason:Jay’s InstagramJay’s FacebookBraveCo Instagramwww.braveco.org

Have you ever wondered if the secret to a successful romance might be hidden in the foundations of friendship? Get ready to uncover the nuances of pre-dating as the Vallottons guide you through the art of assessing potential love interests from a platonic starting point. Navigating the transition from friendship to romance can be like walking a tightrope, but this conversation promises to equip you with the insights to maintain your balance with grace. Jason and Lauren delve into the complexities of opposite-sex friendships for singles, where clarity and integrity are paramount for respectful boundaries that don't impede on future romances. Plus, don't miss their take on the 'friend zone' conundrum and the art of striking just the right tempo between friendship and courtship.The Vallottons share personal stories and seasoned advice on the significance of understanding a potential partner's family dynamics and the intricacies of their personal relationships. They provide a lens through which to view someone's background and values, even in seemingly casual settings, such as parties or during shared experiences. And as Jason and Lauren dissect the importance of communication in the modern dating world, they'll help you navigate the nebulous realm of physical attraction versus emotional connections, offering strategies for clear dialogue that can steer you away from the pitfalls of misinterpretation. Whether you're swiping right or meeting organically, this episode is your compass to a dating journey filled with intention and understanding.Connect with Lauren:InstagramFacebook Connect with Jason:Jay’s InstagramJay’s FacebookBraveCo Instagramwww.braveco.org

Have you ever wondered if the secret to a successful romance might be hidden in the foundations of friendship? Get ready to uncover the nuances of pre-dating as the Vallottons guide you through the art of assessing potential love interests from a platonic starting point. Navigating the transition from friendship to romance can be like walking a tightrope, but this conversation promises to equip you with the insights to maintain your balance with grace. Jason and Lauren delve into the complexities of opposite-sex friendships for singles, where clarity and integrity are paramount for respectful boundaries that don't impede on future romances. Plus, don't miss their take on the 'friend zone' conundrum and the art of striking just the right tempo between friendship and courtship.Settle in as the Vallottons share personal stories and seasoned advice on the significance of understanding a potential partner's family dynamics and the intricacies of their personal relationships. They provide a lens through which to view someone's background and values, even in seemingly casual settings, such as parties or during shared experiences. And as they dissect the importance of communication in the modern dating world, Jason and Lauren help you navigate the nebulous realm of physical attraction versus emotional connections, offering strategies for clear dialogue that can steer you away from the pitfalls of misinterpretation. Whether you're swiping right or meeting organically, this episode is your compass to a dating journey filled with intention and understanding.Connect with Lauren:InstagramFacebook Connect with Jason:Jay’s InstagramJay’s FacebookBraveCo Instagramwww.braveco.org

This Q&A sesh with the Vallotton's is fantastic content! Here are the questions they cover in Episode 56:How did you know it was the right time to get engaged?What are your tips for tired parents who are in the "Baby and a Toddler" season?Can I still be feminine and initiate the first step in a romantic relationship?What three things are essential for a deep, connected, healthy relationship with my wife?How do you know you’re ready to date after divorce?How do you know you’re ready to have a baby?What's your advice for going through heartbreak and the pain of seeing him with someone else?Connect with Lauren:InstagramFacebook Connect with Jason:Jay’s InstagramJay’s FacebookBraveCo Instagramwww.braveco.org

The Vallottons have delved into the intricate dynamics of relationships, pondering the reasons behind the fading spark and the drifting apart of once inseparable couples. They peel back the curtain on common relationship woes, attributing them to the subtle erosion of connection and communication. In a heartfelt discussion that is both intimate and informative, the Vallottons not only share their personal journey but also impart insights gained from the trenches of love and war.Central to their conversation is the concept of the 'Four Horsemen,' a term coined by the Gottman Institute, and for good reason. The Vallottons emphasize that behaviors like criticism, defensiveness, contempt, and stonewalling can sabotage even the strongest bonds if left unchecked. Their exploration goes beyond identification, tackling these relationship adversaries head-on by providing relatable scenarios and actionable advice. The focus is on taking ownership of communication patterns and transforming them into supportive, nurturing exchanges that strengthen relationships against inevitable storms.The Vallottons then hone in on the silent but deadly practice of stonewalling and its corrosive effects on partnerships. They guide listeners through the fine line between needing space and building walls, offering strategies for breaking negative cycles and creating a blueprint for conflict resolution. The goal is to empower listeners to turn squabbles into opportunities for growth. Whether navigating the complexities of marriage or seeking to deepen connections, this episode serves as an invaluable resource for fostering healthier, more resilient relationships.Connect with Lauren:InstagramFacebook Connect with Jason:Jay’s InstagramJay’s FacebookBraveCo Instagramwww.braveco.org

Navigating the intricacies of parenting with a spirit-led approach takes center stage as Seth Dahl joins the conversation! Seth, with his rich background as a children's pastor, opens up about the emotional landscapes of both parents and children, revealing how these deeply affect family dynamics. The discussion spans from tales of discipline and understanding to fostering emotional intelligence in little ones, presenting a treasure trove of insights for those seeking to cultivate a nurturing home culture.As the delicate dance between guiding children and allowing them the space to grow into independent thinkers is unpacked, there is a reminder of the importance of setting boundaries with empathy. Seth's personal anecdotes bring to life the power of validating children's feelings, establishing a family identity, and the art of teaching respect and obedience through genuine connection. The conversation traverses the terrain of emotional communication, the benefits of contributions over chores, and the necessity of embodying healthy examples for children to emulate, all while integrating contemporary child development science with age-old wisdom.Wrapping up the heartfelt exchange, there is reflection on the transformative shift from demanding immediate obedience to nurturing little ones through connection and co-regulation. The Vallotton's experiences with their little ones illuminate the beauty of this evolution in parenting, prioritizing emotional attunement over quick fixes. Here's to a week of meaningful connections and the delight of nurturing future world contributors!---------Seth Dahl is a worldwide speaker to parents and children, and the creator of Designing God’s Home Academy, a 3 month intensive for parents to build their home in partnership with God. He is also the founder of Jesus on Every Screen: empowering churches, ministers, and kingdom businesses to effectively harness social media and reach more people with the gospel. https://sethdahl.com/Connect with Lauren:InstagramFacebook Connect with Jason:Jay’s InstagramJay’s FacebookBraveCo Instagramwww.braveco.org

Welcome to a heartfelt episode where the pillars of the Bethel Redding community, Richard and Libby Gordon, invite you into the sacred space of their lives. In this intimate conversation, the Gordons generously share their personal tales of faith, marriage, and parenting, offering a poignant glimpse into the intricate tapestry of their journey.Rich and Libby open up about their individual paths to faith, providing a rich context for the foundation of their shared spiritual journey. From their South African upbringings to their uniquely personal encounters with the power of the Holy Spirit, their stories converge to form a compelling narrative of faith's transformative power.The episode unfolds with the Gordons delving into the intricacies of their romantic journey, from the initial sparks of dating to the profound commitment of marriage, which grows, sharpens and changes you to the beginnings of trying to build a family.  Listeners are treated to the genuine and relatable aspects of their relationship, exploring the challenges and joys that come with building a life together.The conversation takes a poignant turn as Rich and Libby bravely share their experiences with parenthood, shining a light on the often overlooked struggles of postpartum challenges. The Gordons provide a candid and raw account of navigating through a particularly difficult postpartum season, emphasizing the importance of community support and mental health resources during such trying times.As the Gordons weave their narratives together, the audience gains a profound understanding of the delicate balance required to nurture a flourishing family dynamic while maintaining a deep commitment to faith and community service. Their story is one of resilience, hope, and the unwavering strength found in the bonds of love and partnership.So, join us for an enriching episode as Rich and Libby Gordon invite you into their world, sharing the vulnerabilities and triumphs that have shaped their faith, marriage, and parenting journey. This conversation is not just a glimpse into their lives; it's an inspiring exploration of the transformative power of love, faith, and the enduring commitment to building a life imbued with purpose and divine connection.Richard and Libby Gordon:Both raised in South Africa, having worked in church, academia, and business realms, the Gordons now live in to Redding, CA with their children, Moses and Ella.  They both serve on the Senior Leadership Team at Bethel Church. Libby is devoted to a life of intimacy with God. After a radical encounter with God as a teenager, she entered ministry at nineteen years old. Now she is helping to oversee Bethel's online church expression after years of leading and overseeing in the BSSM and BSSMO realms. Richard's dream is to raise up world-changers and influencers like Daniel who will shape and shift culture, encountering and ushering in the presence of God wherever they go. He comes alive, igniting the potential in people around him and seeing the Glory of God move across the earth! Richard has completed his BSc in Computer Engineering and MA in Electronic Engineering. He has had the privilege of working alongside some of the world’s best tech companies and now helps to oversee Bethel Tech and Bethel College.Connect with Lauren:InstagramFacebook Connect with Jason:Jay’s InstagramJay’s FacebookBraveCo Instagramwww.braveco.org

Embark on a journey with the Vallottons as they arm individuals with the strategic know-how to make the New Year not just memorable but transformational. The Vallottons peel back the layers on why setting clear goals is the secret weapon for personal and relational triumphs, emphasizing the importance of a well-crafted "battle plan" to turn dreams into reality. In this episode, the Vallottons engage in a heartfelt discussion about navigating challenges between a vision that sparks inner fire and a mission that drives daily strides forward.Listeners are invited to redefine the art of goal setting as the Vallottons share over two decades of unwavering commitment to a vision that has guided their growth, demonstrating how others can do the same. The Vallottons support individuals in identifying mission-critical tasks – their 'job to do' – and reveal how to break down intimidating dreams into manageable, actionable steps. Listeners will walk away equipped with pragmatic strategies for setting goals across key life facets, ensuring they steer their ship with purpose and precision.Delving into the complexities of balancing ambition with the nurturing of cherished relationships, the Vallottons stress the power of accountability and community. They share insights on simple tools like alarms and calendars, along with the wisdom of aligning with successful role models, to finesse the symphony of life. Whether individuals are aiming to enhance fitness, financial health, or family life, the Vallottons encourage setting priorities that propel towards a year of unparalleled success.Connect with Lauren:InstagramFacebook Connect with Jason:Jay’s InstagramJay’s FacebookBraveCo Instagramwww.braveco.org

In this episode, the Vallottons model a year-in-review process (below) that will strengthen your heart connection and and foster growth and unity as you step into the new year!Reflect on the Past YearShare personal reflections on the highlights and challenges experienced as a couple during the past yearDiscuss how external factors may have impacted the relationship and how you navigated those challenges togetherCelebrate AchievementsIdentify Areas for GrowthSet Relationship GoalsBalance Individual and Shared GoalsAdapt to ChangesExpress GratitudeConnect with Lauren:InstagramFacebook Connect with Jason:Jay’s InstagramJay’s FacebookBraveCo Instagramwww.braveco.org

Every dream of parenthood is unique, and for some, the road to family is laden with unexpected twists, triumphs, and trials. Jessica Satterfield gracefully steps into our space, sharing her profound journey of motherhood—a story that encompasses the poignant complexities of infertility, loss, and the beautiful mosaic of adoption. From her childhood yearnings to the deepening of her faith, Jessica unravels the challenges she and her husband, Brandon, faced as they navigated through the heartbreak of infertility treatments and the shadows of personal hardship, only to find joy and hope in the most unforeseen places.Witness the resilience of a family molded by both agony and miracles, as Jessica recounts the unimaginable sorrow of losing a vibrant son and the strength they gained in the wake of such loss. The raw emotion of their story is interwoven with the delicate threads of healing, as they embraced the gifts of life anew—overcoming infertility with a successful IVF, followed by a surprise natural pregnancy. Jessica's narrative stands as a testament to the indomitable spirit of those who, even in their darkest moments, cling to hope and the promise of new beginnings.The fabric of family is rich and varied, and Jessica's tapestry includes the vibrant colors of adoption alongside the innate challenges of blending biological and adopted children. Her candid reflections on the adoption process, parental wisdom, and the ever-evolving journey of faith shed light on the sanctity of connecting with each child's heart. Her insights into the day-to-day triumphs and trials of parenting—illness in a large family, nighttime wakefulness, and the search for grace amidst the chaos—are universal. Jessica's story, shared here, is an invitation to celebrate the resilience of the human spirit and the profound joy that can emerge from the most unexpected chapters of life.----Jessica has been wrecked by the love of a beautiful Father. She has known the intimacy of Papa God in the midst of the heartbreak of abuse, infertility, and child loss. Because she’s known Him in the fellowship of His sufferings, she’s also known Him in the power of His resurrection. She writes on her popular blog, Grace While We Wait, and is the author of, Partnering With Heaven, her first book. She is the President and Founder of a ministry called The Garden, which connects women on the broken road to motherhood to the Healer. Wife to her life-crush, Brandon, and mama to five (one who now lives with Jesus) through the miracle of adoption and miracles in her womb. Her days aren’t busy, but rather, full, the very best kind. You can find her curled up on the couch with good coffee and her family or speaking to groups of women all over the country. Both are amazing, but home is where her heart is. Connect with Lauren:InstagramFacebook Connect with Jason:Jay’s InstagramJay’s FacebookBraveCo Instagramwww.braveco.org

In this episode, Jason and Lauren  answer several questions sent in by the audience! The topics  covered are:Insecurities about ex'sPrenupsDating someone with a porn addictionMidlife crisis in marriageDating someone with children Helping siblings bondConnect with Lauren:InstagramFacebook Connect with Jason:Jay’s InstagramJay’s FacebookBraveCo Instagramwww.braveco.org

In this insightful conversation, the audience is introduced to Danny Silk, an esteemed expert in relational health and family dynamics. As the exploration into the delicate balance of maintaining a thriving family while navigating the responsibilities of a leadership role unfolds, listeners gain valuable insights.The challenges and rewards of harmonizing professional commitments with family time take center stage. Through the lens of Danny's experiences, the episode emphasizes the crucial importance of envisioning the person one wishes to become at the end of life. The power of strategic scheduling and safeguarding priorities is discussed, providing a roadmap for leaders striving to create a fulfilling life both personally and professionally.As the conversation delves deeper, the dark side of leadership comes into focus. Every leadership position brings its share of pitfalls, and the episode sheds light on the perils of unchecked authority and a lack of accountability. Viewers are guided through strategies to avoid this!For aspiring leaders, the episode offers sound advice on cultivating a healthier organizational culture and resisting the traps associated with unchecked power. By addressing these crucial aspects of leadership, the conversation with Danny Silk becomes a comprehensive guide on not only excelling in professional endeavors but also safeguarding the well-being of one's family in the process.----As an author and speaker, Danny Silk offers life-changingbooks, conferences, and other resources drawn fromdecades of experience as a counselor, social worker,advocate, pastor, spouse, parent, grandparent, and leader.He is the President and Co-Founder of Loving on Purpose, aministry to families and communities worldwide. Danny’spassion centers around helping people build, strengthen,and heal their vital relationships.Connect with Lauren:InstagramFacebook Connect with Jason:Jay’s InstagramJay’s FacebookBraveCo Instagramwww.braveco.org

How do you rebuild a marriage after the harsh sting of infidelity? Jason and Lauren Vallotton interview their dear friends, Ben and Heather Armstrong, who have got some answers that empower couples to opt back in, even after the devastation of broken trust. The Armstrongs offer a heartening and insightful conversation where they candidly share their journey of perseverance and hope, revealing how they found their way back to each other after a painful betrayal. Their story isn't just about surviving infidelity, but about building a brand new, beautiful marriage on the other side.The Armstrongs didn't just come up with a theory on rebuilding their marriage; they lived it. This episode offers a unique blend of their personal narratives and hard-won wisdom. Ben shares candidly about the choices he made that slowly led him down a path of infidelity, and Heather opens up about the emotional rollercoaster she went through upon discovering her husband's affair and the healing process that followed. The importance of mutual ownership, honest communication, and taking responsibility for one's actions — steps that are not only essential for healing but for moving forward — are discussed.--------Heather Armstrong is a gifted photographer and runs a successful photography business. She is also the Local Women's Pastor at Bethel Church, Redding. Ben Armstrong is the Overseer of Prophetic Ministry at Bethel Church, Redding where they both also serve on the Senior Leadership Team. They have three amazing children; Conner, Kira, and Madison. Ben, Heather, and their children are passionate about living the kingdom and bringing the supernatural in their family life and equipping others to do the same. Heather says, “Revival isn’t revival until it shows up in our homes!”Look for their book, "I Choose Us," which comes out in late 2024.Heather on InstagramBen on InstagramConnect with Lauren:InstagramFacebook Connect with Jason:Jay’s InstagramJay’s FacebookBraveCo Instagramwww.braveco.org

Join the Vallotton's for a conversation with their friends, Geovany and Charity Osorio, an inspiring couple whose love story intertwines American and Ecuadorian roots. Their narrative speaks directly to those navigating the rich tapestry of multicultural relationships!The Osorio's share the details of their love story, and listeners will resonate with Charity's courageous transition to a new country, embracing the challenge of adapting to a different culture and language. The nuances of starting a life together in a foreign land are vast, and the Osorio's journey serves as a beacon for triumphs in cross-cultural love! They emphasize the strength found in honoring one's cultural roots while wholeheartedly embracing those of a significant other, all underpinned by a resilient foundation of faith.Dive into the heart of family expectations and dynamics within a multicultural context, gaining practical insights from the Osorio's journey. From understanding and celebrating each other's cultural backgrounds to the importance of individual self-reflection,  Geovany and Charity share the fears and joys inherent in merging two distinct worlds. The shared experience is filled with love, understanding, and the art of blending cultures within a relationship. Whether you are in the midst of such a journey or contemplating one, this conversation is an interesting and entertaining one!Connect with Lauren:InstagramFacebook Connect with Jason:Jay’s InstagramJay’s FacebookBraveCo Instagramwww.braveco.org

In this podcast episode, explore the nuanced reality of the holiday season with the Vallotton's as they tackle the common challenge of stress and pain within relationships during what is often dubbed "the most wonderful time of the year." Delve into insightful discussions on planning for emotional, practical, and relational dynamics to ensure a holiday season that is truly merry and bright!Drawing on personal experiences, the Vallotton's provide valuable insights and practical tips for navigating the complexities of relationships during the festive season. Discover strategies to set realistic expectations, foster positive connections, and create a harmonious environment that truly embodies the spirit of joy and togetherness.Tune in to episode 45 for a thoughtful exploration of how to make the most of this special time with loved ones.Connect with Lauren:InstagramFacebook Connect with Jason:Jay’s InstagramJay’s FacebookBraveCo Instagramwww.braveco.org

Can a relationship exist without physical proximity? Can trust be built long-distance? The Vallotton's explore these questions and more. This episode touches on everything from the initial stages of romance from afar, building the bond, and how to handle the decision-making process around more serious commitments. The nuances of modern love, influenced by globalization and the rise of online dating, have led to the increased occurrence of long-distance relationships, so Jason and Lauren talk about how to move through the dating process even when you're miles apart.Connect with Lauren:InstagramFacebook Connect with Jason:Jay’s InstagramJay’s FacebookBraveCo Instagramwww.braveco.org

Ever wonder how to navigate the complexities of a relationship from newlywed stage to a more mature phase? This episode is a gold mine for you. Join the Vallotton's for a captivating conversation with their son, Elijah, and his wife, Alley, as they beautifully share their three-year marriage journey. They open up about how they revisited their honeymoon spot and how unique the experience was the second time around. You'll hear about the pressures and expectations of the newlywed stage, and how love languages, small gestures and intentional quality time play a crucial role in maintaining a loving relationship. Elijah and Alley highlight the challenges they faced along the way. Listen as they provide insight into the role of competition and how it molds a relationship. They also share their experiences on how to balance opportunities and priorities in marriage, and how subtle shifts in attitude can significantly impact a relationship. They emphasize the importance of hard conversations, practicing grace for one another, and having the patience to navigate the newlywed season.Connect with Lauren:InstagramFacebook Connect with Jason:Jay’s InstagramJay’s FacebookBraveCo Instagramwww.braveco.org

In this episode, the Vallottons offer you a unique perspective on the five love languages and their role in the intricate dance of human connection. They stress the importance of self-awareness (understanding your own needs) and how to empower those around you to meet you in those needs. The five love languages, as introduced by Dr. Gary Chapman in his book on the subject, can help with understanding how people receive and give love.https://5lovelanguages.com/Connect with Lauren:InstagramFacebook Connect with Jason:Jay’s InstagramJay’s FacebookBraveCo Instagramwww.braveco.org

In this episode, Jason and Lauren  answer several questions sent in by the audience! The topics  covered are:Women initiating dating their interest, specifically after divorceNavigating the spiritual side of walking through a miscarriageDifference between sex before and after marriageA wife's higher libido connected to a man's porn addictionConnect with Lauren:InstagramFacebook Connect with Jason:Jay’s InstagramJay’s FacebookBraveCo Instagramwww.braveco.org

In this episode, Jason and Lauren share 20 “green flags” that would indicate a potentially healthy and thriving relationship. Green flags have all the makings of a good connection in which two people are free to be themselves, feel cared for by one another, and have the capacity to build together! They aren't necessarily cause to tie the knot, but if these things are functioning in your relationship, great! There’s likely good space to explore next steps and ask deeper questions as you pursue greater intimacy. Good at FriendshipTakes Interest in your InterestsGood Listener and CommunicatorKnows How to be VulnerableKnows How to Have FunNonjudgmental Supportive of Personal GrowthNo ComparisonsKnows How to Navigate Hard TimesSelf ConfidentHealthy BoundariesHardworking Relationship with the LordSolid and Compatible Core Values Humble / Admits MistakesEmotionally MatureCan Disagree Respectfully / Have Healthy Conflict Makes an Effort to Know your Friends and FamilyTakes InitiativeTakes Responsibility for Own NeedsConnect with Lauren:InstagramFacebook Connect with Jason:Jay’s InstagramJay’s FacebookBraveCo Instagramwww.braveco.org

In this episode, Jason and Lauren share 20 red flags that would indicate a reason to pause, take assessment, and seek to understand what's going in your relationship. Red flags aren't necessarily deal-breakers, but they should be given attention if you can spot them, and it's not a great idea to progress in the relationship without addressing them.No Relationship with GodIncompatibility of Core ValuesDoesn’t Show Consideration or RespectLacks Emotional MaturityDebtDefensive/Easily OffendedNot Connected to CommunityDoesn’t ask good questionsNo Awareness of BoundariesOverly CriticalCan’t Handle ConflictGossipLack of CommunicationControlling BehaviorInconsistencies and LiesDisrespect and InsultsUnwillingness to CompromiseLack of EmpathyPrevious History of AbuseOverly dependentConnect with Lauren:InstagramFacebook Connect with Jason:Jay’s InstagramJay’s FacebookBraveCo Instagramwww.braveco.org

After Lauren's mother's health began to decline rapidly, their plans for a fun-filled end to the summer took an unexpected turn. Join the Vallottons, as they open up about the deeply personal and challenging season they're walking through. In their latest episode, Jason and Lauren share the highs and lows of a recent trip to South Carolina, navigating the emotional turmoil of Lauren's mom's last month of life and juggling care for their two toddlers, etc. Through it all, they're discovering valuable lessons about the cost and privilege of loving people at their worst and the importance of supportive relationships during difficult times. Tune in for a heartfelt discussion on practically navigating through hard times while maintaining strong relational health.Connect with Lauren:InstagramFacebook Connect with Jason:Jay’s InstagramJay’s FacebookBraveCo Instagramwww.braveco.org

In this episode, Alley Vallotton (Jason and Lauren's daughter-in-law) hosts a Live Q&A with Jason for Date Well , a program which exists to empower single and dating women to thrive in their relationship with God, others and themselves.Alley and Jason peel back the layers on the intricacies of relationships - they talk about the red and green flags, the role of patience and trust, and the courage it takes to step out of comfort zones. Alley opens up about her personal journey in relationships, a compelling narrative that underscores the rewards of taking risks. They also explore the crucial role of setting boundaries and managing expectations. If you're in the throes of the dating scene or simply looking to understand relationships better, this episode promises a wealth of insights.Connect with Lauren:InstagramFacebook Connect with Jason:Jay’s InstagramJay’s FacebookBraveCo Instagramwww.braveco.org

This episode is deep dive into the often-misunderstood world of the postpartum period. The Vallotton’s share their personal experiences and expert tips to help you navigate this critical stage with confidence and peace.In the discussion, Jason and Lauren uncover the profound physical, emotional, and cognitive changes that come with the postpartum period. From the challenges of managing sleep deprivation and breastfeeding to the unexpected realities of  post-birth recovery, they delve into it all. They also offer practical strategies to make sure you are equipped to meet these challenges head-on. Jason and Lauren share helpful strategies on setting up a conducive environment for both parents and baby, from the use of specific supplies to importance of self-care. The goal is to give guidance for a transition into this new phase of life smoothly and enjoyably. After all, having and raising babies can, and should be, a beautiful experience.Connect with Lauren:InstagramFacebook Connect with Jason:Jay’s InstagramJay’s FacebookBraveCo Instagramwww.braveco.org

What if you could reclaim the essence of your family life amidst the whirlwind of modern busyness? In this enlightening episode Jason and Lauren  shed light on the struggles of balancing family life and share practical tips to take control of your family's rhythm. They share insights on creating fulfilling relational connections, emphasizing that your marriage should be a priority, even when mundane tasks seem to pull you away.As people transition from summer to school year, there’s a tug-of-war between different priorities. It's a tricky path to navigate, but the Vallottons provide strategies to set limits that protect your mental health and maintain strong family bonds. Families need to be able to cherish the fleeting moments and keep the connection strong, even when schedules get hectic!Lastly, the Vallottons delve into the art of managing time and expectations during busy seasons. They introduce the Core Emotion Wheel tool from Connection Codes, a life-changing strategy that helps people connect with their children on a deeper level. Communication is key in setting realistic expectations and preventing disappointment. By the end of this episode, you'll have a toolbox of strategies to help you navigate the balance of family life, making it deeply fulfilling and relationally healthy. This is about reclaiming control, resetting priorities, and redefining balance. Connect with Lauren:InstagramFacebook Connect with Jason:Jay’s InstagramJay’s FacebookBraveCo Instagramwww.braveco.org

In this episode, Jason and Lauren talk about their own experiences with anxiety, a problem that so many people face which really impacts relationships. They discuss many facets of the topic from the spiritual to the scientific.For many, breaking free from anxiety can be a journey, and the gold of this episode is in Jason sharing tools he’s learned, adopted, and practiced to overcome debilitating anxiety in his life.Connect with Lauren:InstagramFacebook Connect with Jason:Jay’s InstagramJay’s FacebookBraveCo Instagramwww.braveco.org

The end of a long-term relationship often leaves people adrift in the aftermath, entangled in the complexities of their past, and unsure how to reclaim their lives. In this episode, Jason and Lauren dive headfirst into this poignant topic, tackling the reality of life post-divorce and the path towards recovery. The art of thriving after such a devastating experience is not an innate one; sometimes people need a helping hand to guide them through this challenging journey.The Vallotton's discuss how to avoid common pitfalls, process pain in a healthy manner, and most importantly, let go of the desire for justice. Unraveling the unexpected pain that accompanies divorce, especially for those in long-term marriages, the Vallotton's share advice on how to live powerfully, trust in God to replace unhealthily codependency, and grow in confidence. Jason and Lauren also focus on the importance of assessing past relationships to derive personal growth. Recognizing your role in the breakdown of your marriages or past relationship can lead to unique insights and benefits, particularly when dating someone who has been through a similar experience. For those with children, Jason and Lauren offer guidance on establishing a healthy new normal, outlining the significance of setting goals, establishing friendships, and creating a regular routines that lead to health. Tune in for an intimate conversation filled with practical advice and hopeful insights. Connect with Lauren:InstagramFacebook Connect with Jason:Jay’s InstagramJay’s FacebookBraveCo Instagramwww.braveco.org

In this episode, Jason and Lauren  answer several questions sent in by the audience! The topics  covered are:Masturbation habits vs. porn habits and the impact on relationshipsRoles and responsibilities in marriage Soul tiesTrying to save a marriageNavigating heartbreak/rejection Sex in marriage Connect with Lauren:InstagramFacebook Connect with Jason:Jay’s InstagramJay’s FacebookBraveCo Instagramwww.braveco.org

With three adult kids and a couple of toddlers, the Vallottons are on round two of parenting and are handing out some of their best “hindsight” advice! Jason and Lauren begin by stating, "don't NOT do the hard work," which is easy to forgo when you’re tired! Your kids need to believe you, they need structure, and they will thrive most when you and your spouse put in the hard work to get on the same page. All of these things take work, but it's that is WORTH the effort in the long game. Team work really does make the dream work! Jason and Lauren share their thoughts on the potential pitfalls when one parent takes on the majority of child-rearing responsibilities. They also discuss how vital it is to create a partnership between both parents, ensuring each one is a capable teammate. Not only do parents thrive when teamwork is the norm, but it is also really good for children to experience their parents as a good team. Connection is worth fighting for, every time! In this episode, the Vallottons focus on understanding your child's individual needs and how meeting their emotional needs through connection can be a key to problem-solving in parenting.Lastly, Jason and Lauren address the difference between parenting/disciplining symptoms and actually getting to the root issue needs of your child. Solving the real problem is key for your kids’ long-term thriving, and is worth the effort to pursue!Connect with Lauren:InstagramFacebook Connect with Jason:Jay’s InstagramJay’s FacebookBraveCo Instagramwww.braveco.org

What if the journey to parenthood wasn't the romantic, fairy-tale route everyone paints, but instead, a maze of medical interventions, emotional turmoil, and gut-wrenching decisions? Join us as we unmask our deeply personal struggle with infertility, from a vasectomy at 24 to  years of unsuccessful attempts at conceiving. We bare the heartache, the hope, and the biology behind the trials we faced, offering solace and advice to those embarking on this challenging path.Conception wasn't our only struggle. We also experienced the blinding joy of an unexpected pregnancy and the crushing despair of a devastating miscarriage. Brace yourself for a raw, no-holds-barred discussion on the emotional rollercoaster that is infertility, its impact on our marriage, and how we navigated the painful yet essential process of acknowledging and addressing our emotions.To wrap up, we take you along on our journey through IVF, a decision laden with ethical, moral, spiritual, and personal implications. Hear about our trip to South Carolina for the procedure, the fear of losing the baby during pregnancy, and the importance of traversing this journey as a team. Today we're enjoying our miracles babies who are now toddlers, but wow, what a ride to get here! Hopefully our story can offer a beacon of light to those navigating the seas of infertility.Connect with Lauren:InstagramFacebook Connect with Jason:Jay’s InstagramJay’s FacebookBraveCo Instagramwww.braveco.org

Should I date someone who is struggling with porn? This question delves deep into the heart of a complex issue that affects many individuals. In this eye-opening episode, Jason and Lauren courageously explore the underlying reasons behind why people turn to porn.At its core, porn is not merely an isolated problem but often a response to more profound emotional issues. Addiction, in general, arises when we feel disconnected from our own lives. Instead of just focusing on sobriety, the real antidote lies in fostering meaningful connections. For many, the allure of porn is not solely about sex; it is an attempt to fill a void of connection and to be truly seen and understood. It becomes a substitute for genuine, deep, and fulfilling connections that may be lacking in their lives.Our hosts candidly address the potential implications of porn issues on romantic relationships. The negative effects can be far-reaching, ranging from hyper-sexualizing the relationship to distorted expectations of how it should feel to the undercutting of the trust-building process, which is the chief goal in a dating relationship.In this thought-provoking episode, Jason and Lauren offer valuable insights to help you determine if someone is in a healthy enough place to be in a dating relationship. It's crucial to navigate these waters with wisdom and care, considering both your partner's journey and your own well-being. Tune in now to gain a deeper understanding of the complexities surrounding porn and relationships. Let's build a foundation of authentic connections and support each other on the path to healing and growth.Resources Discussed in Episode:BraveCo.orgThe Whole Man ProjectShasta Blue SkyMoral RevolutionConnect with Lauren:InstagramFacebook Connect with Jason:Jay’s InstagramJay’s FacebookBraveCo Instagramwww.braveco.org

In episode 28, Jason and Lauren interview their good friend and colleague, Dr. Margaret Nagib, about gender differences from a psychological and neuroscientific perspective. In the context of our current culture, which seems to be working to ignore the differences between men and women, it's critical to understand that there are biological and chemical differences between men and women that contribute to real gender differences that play out in our day to day relationships.  In particular, conversation revolves around how men and women deal differently with stress and how they experience love and appreciation differently. The greater our understanding, according to Dr. Nagib, the better we'll be able to navigate the natural struggles and strengths in our friendships and marriages! ---------------Dr. Margaret Nagib is a clinical psychologist and personal and spiritual development coach. Her passion is integrating the best of psychology while partnering with Holy Spirit to restore wholeness through a deeper relationship with God to helping individuals, communities and organizations reclaim their identity, purpose and passion. She received her masters and doctorate in clinical psychology from Wheaton College in Wheaton, IL.and has been working in the field of psychology since 1998. Margaret also graduated from 2 years of Bethel Church’s Supernatural School of Ministry (BSSM).Margaret travels around the country and internationally providing seminars for various organizations and churches on wholeness and training professionals to partner with the power of Holy Spirit. She is the author of Souls Like Stars: Renew Your Mind, Heal Your Heart, Unveil Your Shine; Sozo for Professional Counselors: Integrating Psychology and Inner Healing to Restore Individuals to Wholeness and Soul Making: A 12 week Group-Based Sozo Experience. She has a private practice in Wheaton, IL. Connect with Margaret at TheDunamisProject.Org and @margaretnagib on Instagram.Connect with Lauren:InstagramFacebook Connect with Jason:Jay’s InstagramJay’s FacebookBraveCo Instagramwww.braveco.org

Many individuals frequently mistake passion for love, but in reality, love is a deliberate decision, while passion emerges from a profound connection. Understanding this distinction holds great significance because people often abandon their love when the initial intense passion diminishes. However, it's essential to recognize that passion can be revitalized by actively nurturing and strengthening the bond between partners. In Episode 27, Jason and Lauren delve into several practical tools that empower couples to cultivate their connection and reignite the flames of passion within their relationship.Connect with Lauren:InstagramFacebookEmail Connect with Jason:Jay’s InstagramJay’s FacebookBraveCo Instagramwww.braveco.org

Marriages and families are in trouble, statistics tell us, and infidelity is a part of the problem! 15% of women and 25% of men engage in extramarital affairs, and those number increase by 20% if you include emotional affairs according the the American Association of Marriage and Family Therapy in 2015. Why in the world does this happen? What are the issues that couples face, the lies that people tend to believe that contribute to infidelity, and is it really possible to repair a marriage after an affair? Jason and Lauren discuss this at length in episode 26. Connect with Lauren:InstagramFacebookEmail Connect with Jason:Jay’s InstagramJay’s FacebookBraveCo Instagramwww.braveco.org

How in the world are parents supposed to navigate the taboo subject of sexuality with their kids in a way that steers them clear of the messages of perversion, shame, guilt and fear that culture and media promote so freely? One thing we know for sure is that “the talk” about the birds and the bees cannot be your only tool! Creating a culture inside your home where connection is available, curiosity is welcomed, and communication is expected is the best way to set the stage for age-appropriate conversations with your kids where you get to be the chief educator and guide for them in their sexual development. Episode 25 unpacks this topic and introduces listeners to a few resources that the Vallottons highly recommend on this subject of parenting sexuality.Resources: Parent Well: Raising Your Kids in a Hyper-sexualized CultureGod's Design for Sex Series by Dr. Stanton JonesConnect with Lauren:InstagramFacebookEmail Connect with Jason:Jay’s InstagramJay’s FacebookBraveCo Instagramwww.braveco.org

In this episode, Jason and Lauren  answer several questions sent in by the audience! Topics range from dating to marriage, and in between. Enjoy!Connect with Lauren:InstagramFacebookEmail Connect with Jason:Jay’s InstagramJay’s FacebookBraveCo Instagramwww.braveco.org

In episode 23, Jason and Lauren interview Lauren’s parents about their side of the story regarding Lauren dating and marrying a divorced guy with children! Married for 41 years, The Acsell’s have long been a model of love and devotion for Jason and Lauren, and how they navigated the hard transition of Lauren moving across the country and marrying into a ready-made family are admirable, to say the least. In this episode are keys for keeping relational connection strong with adult children, tips for navigating things with potential in-laws, and mission-critical components to blending families in a way that feels safe for everyone invloved! They also share about the gift of 41 years of marriage and how to hold on through better or worse, as long as you both shall live!Connect with Lauren:InstagramFacebookEmail Connect with Jason:Jay’s InstagramJay’s FacebookBraveCo Instagramwww.braveco.org

The KYLO Show is a podcast hosted by Danny Silk and Brittney Serpell. They discuss "the principles and practices of keeping your love on and how to build, protect, and pass on healthy families from one generation to the next."Danny and Brittney interviewed Jason and Lauren about their journey of dating well in the midst of their less-than-fairytale circumstances! Enjoy!Connect with Lauren:InstagramFacebookEmail Connect with Jason:Jay’s InstagramJay’s FacebookBraveCo Instagramwww.braveco.org

In Part 2 of A Plan for Pain, Jason and Lauren talk specifically about how most of us don't really know how to walk through a process of forgiveness. People tend to be so afraid of pain that we avoid the very process that leads to true and lasting freedom! Firstly, we have to change the way we see pain. The truth is that every painful thought is a GIFT because mourning leads to comfort. The typical response to pain is to stuff it down or ignore it. However, without the process of mourning, you rob yourself of comfort. Matthew 5:4 says, “blessed are those who mourn, for they will be comforted.” The real gold in this episode is in the 6 steps for processing pain as well as some tips for how to process in a healthy way.Connect with Lauren:InstagramFacebookEmail Connect with Jason:Jay’s InstagramJay’s FacebookBraveCo Instagramwww.braveco.org

This is the first in a series of two episodes addressing the idea that every person experiences pain in life, whether relational hurt, trauma, disappointment or hardship. No one is immune to life’s punches! In this episode, Jason and Lauren talk about the fact that pain has a voice that says, “fix me now!” And if we don’t learn to proactively navigate through the pain, we get stuck ignoring, stuffing, or coping with it in some way, never truly healing, because time is not a healer but rather a revealed. In next week’s episode, the conversation will continue as the Vallottons dive deeper, explaining the role that forgiveness plays in working through relational pain as well as giving listeners a 6-step plan for thoroughly processing pain in a way that leads to true freedom.Connect with Lauren:InstagramFacebookEmail Connect with Jason:Jay’s InstagramJay’s FacebookBraveCo Instagramwww.braveco.org

In episode 19, Jason and Lauren address making a decision to start a family and how to navigate this huge season shift in a way that protects your marriage connection and adds to the relational health and thriving of your family. Ultimately, having kids is the absolute greatest blessing, but according to the Vallottons, if you have the luxury of proactively addressing certain things with your spouse before welcoming little ones into the picture, you should!Connect with Lauren:InstagramFacebookEmail Connect with Jason:Jay’s InstagramJay’s FacebookBraveCo Instagramwww.braveco.org

In this episode, Jason and Lauren share one tip for success in blended families; build strong bonds of connection! Emotional connection is critical for the health of every family, but blended families don't have the luxury of enjoying the "from birth" chemical bonds that play a huge role in attachment and connection that biological parents have with their children. That said, there are many things that people can do intentionally to forge new bonds in a blended family context, which actually enables you to become a new family unit where trust, safety, respect and love can show up. Jason and Lauren unpack these suggestions and tools in episode 18.Connect with Lauren:InstagramFacebookEmail Connect with Jason:Jay’s InstagramJay’s FacebookBraveCo Instagramwww.braveco.org

Episode 17 is a follow-up conversation to the previous episode’s interview with Cole and Caitlin Zick of Moral Revolution. In this episode, Jason and Lauren begin by explaining more about how sex inside of marriage is really all about the pursuit of intimacy. Lauren shares that how she experienced her sex drive before and in marriage were entirely different and that many people find that their expectations of sex in marriage aren’t met. Jason and Lauren unpack common reasons (stress, pressure, kids, life circumstances, increased vulnerability of being married, etc.) behind this often-confusing dichotomy. Ultimately, a fulfilling sex life in marriage is a trajectory parallel to the levels of trust and intimacy that are operating inside of the marriage dynamic. Jason spends a lot of time explaining the role of a man and the way that a man’s sex drive is supposed to help him create safety and trust in his marriage. Lauren then proposes a mindset shift for women to consider on their end. This conversation between Jason and Lauren will bring freedom and deeper understanding about the intricate dynamics of the gift of sex inside of marriage.Connect with Lauren:InstagramFacebookEmail Connect with Jason:Jay’s InstagramJay’s FacebookBraveCo Instagramwww.braveco.org

When people struggle with their sexual connection inside of marriage, it’s often because of pain/trauma from their past, their unrealistic expectations of sex inside of marriage and/or their unwillingness to reach out for help in this area. Unfortunately, sex has been a topic that’s full of shame and full of pain for many people, therefore it’s largely avoided in the church. However, this doesn’t set couples up for success as they enter marriage! The hope is that through sharing stories and giving tools and tips, you’d feel empowered to find the sexual fulfillment inside of marriage that God designed you to experience.In Episode 16, Jason and Lauren host their good friends, Cole and Caitlin Zick, in a very in-depth conversation about sex in marriage. The Zicks have been the Co-Directors of Moral Revolution in Redding, California since 2017. In a generation overwhelmed by conflicting messages about love, Moral Revolution is a company of radical people helping to define healthy sexuality by providing resources that equip and empower society to live in wholeness! Because of their work and their passion for freedom for others, Cole and Cait openly share their story about their pasts and their first years of marriage in order to start a healthy conversation around sexuality. As Cole and Caitlin share the details of how they grew up, their frameworks for sex they had from their childhoods, and their process of entering marriage, they address a range of issues that they came up against. Although their story highlights some outlier extremes with regards to their experiences, they depict how to patiently and faithfully walk through healing with one another, building a strong marriage bond.Links: Moral RevolutionConnect with Lauren:InstagramFacebookEmail Connect with Jason:Jay’s InstagramJay’s FacebookBraveCo Instagramwww.braveco.org

Episode 15 is full of insights that are especially helpful for people in the newlywed season of life! Jason and Lauren begin by sharing a perspective on the covenant of marriage that can really set newlywed couples up to make the most of this adjustment period into their new life together. The newlywed season is meant to be an incredible season of bonding, exploration and establishment in a marriage, and each person enters this new chapter with a long list of expectations which may or may not be met. Identifying any missed expectations (anything from that quirk that drives you crazy to an inability to navigate conflict well) and communicating through the emotions you encounter will be so important in order to keep connection as the goal while you learn and grow together. Setting foundations of culture and agreements of high values will also equip you to take on the “new” together, whatever the challenge. Jason and Lauren share from their own unique experiences of the newlywed season, giving keys and insights that they WISH they could have given themselves before marriage.Connect with Lauren:InstagramFacebookEmail Connect with Jason:Jay’s InstagramJay’s FacebookBraveCo Instagramwww.braveco.org

In this episode, Jason and Lauren host a conversation with their good friends, Aaron and Jenna Zint. Aside from the wisdom and street cred that come from 14 years of marriage and three little kids, Jenna and Aaron have years of professional experience in the relational health arena that make them excellent resources on the topic! Together, they offer couples coaching and host an excellent podcast called The Marriage Lab (link below). Aaron is an author and also offers emotional, relational and sexual wholeness coaching while Jenna offers health, life and habit coaching. Most recently, Jenna launched The Habit Lab Mastery Course (link below). Today’s episode of  Dates, Mates and Babies with the Vallottons is a conversation between the Vallottons and the Zints about how to sustainably grow in our relational health with the help of forming habits that lead to lasting change. Aaron and Jenna first explain that the best way to forge a healthy connection inside of our intimate relationships is by learning to engage in emotion-led communication. An often foreign skill, learning to communicate this way is best achieved through practice – the “offensively tiny” and consistent habits that, over time, will result in wildly successful change in the effectiveness of our communication. The Zints also walk through the practical steps to creating good habits as well as a few of the pitfalls people often encounter when trying to start new habits. This episode is gold, especially for the listener who has identified growth areas in their own relationships but doesn’t know where or how to begin making healthy changes. Enjoy this fun conversation between friends!Links:Jenna Zint on InstagramThe Habit Lab Mastery Course with Jenna ZintCoaching with the ZintsThe Marriage Lab podcastNumb to Known: The Surprising Path Away from Porn by Aaron ZintConnect with Lauren:InstagramFacebookEmail Connect with Jason:Jay’s InstagramJay’s FacebookBraveCo Instagramwww.braveco.org

Life is hard, and in relationships, it's our healthy culture and firm foundation that enable us to navigate life when things go sideways. Unforeseen and challenging circumstances are inevitable, but they don't have to leave you broken and disconnected from the people in your life that are meant to be a strength to you in the hardship.In this episode, Jason and Lauren talk about changing way you see hard times so that you can get the most out of these seasons. They also share a list of keys for navigating the tough times in life.Links:The Habit Lab with Jenna ZintConnect with Lauren:InstagramFacebookEmail Connect with Jason:Jay’s InstagramJay’s FacebookBraveCo Instagramwww.braveco.org

In Episode 12, Jason and Lauren introduce the concept of Connection as the goal of intimate relationships. Connection is a felt closeness and deep, enjoyable bond between two people. Attachment styles in childhood greatly impact our ability to bond with other humans.  In order to feel deeply fulfilled inside of marriage or intimate relationships, connection must be strong, and connection is built on a foundation of trust which you must proactively grow! Here are some of the keys addressed in this episode:The Vallottons’ friend and spiritual father, Danny Silk, says that “trust is the exchange of truth.” And with this as the working definition of trust, the implication is that building a foundation of trust and growing a deep connection requires two people to vulnerably share the TRUTH of what’s going on inside of themselves. Connection happens through the exchange of emotions, sharing your feelings and talking about yourself, giving your partner the opportunity to see, know, accept and love you in your present moment. The Vallotton's recommend Connection Codes with Dr. Glen and Phyllis Hill if you need to grow in your ability to locate and share your emotions (link below). Learning to speak the language of your partner will enable you to meet them where they’re at and love them in a way that they can hear and receive. Learning about love languages and needs will aid in the process of learning to speak each other’s language! In this episode, Jason and Lauren give great examples of how they proactively pursue connection in their marriage and what it looks like to overcome the obstacle of disconnection.Links:Keep Your Love on by Danny SilkConnection Codes with Dr. Glen and Phyllis HillThe 5 Love LanguagesConnect with Lauren:InstagramFacebookEmail Connect with Jason:Jay’s InstagramJay’s FacebookBraveCo Instagramwww.braveco.org

In episode 11, Jason and Lauren take some time to answer 4 specific questions submitted by listeners like you! Each of the questions came as listeners enjoyed episode 9, Dating After Divorce. As Jason and Lauren answer questions, you’ll hear them discuss topics including processing pain, a healthy pace for dating after walking through trauma, how to navigate dating when kids are involved, and solidifying our identities with God as our source.Connect with Lauren:InstagramFacebookEmail Connect with Jason:Jay’s InstagramJay’s FacebookBraveCo Instagramwww.braveco.org

No matter your personality type, background, or lifestyle preferences, human nature is to be somewhat change-averse. Humans appreciate a measure of predictability and certainty in life, but life is just a series of changes and transitions, one after another! So how do we set ourselves up to defy the statistical odds that would tell us that major life changes and seasonal transitions would damage relational connection? In Episode 10 of Dates, Mates and Babies with the Vallottons, Jason and Lauren unpack their own transitional seasons and apply the truth of scripture found in James, Chapter 1. Hard times, trials, life changes and major transitions, if navigated with self-awareness, intentionality and wise counsel, can actually forge bonds inside of your most intimate relationships rather than contribute to the deterioration of connection.Connect with Lauren:InstagramFacebookEmail Connect with Jason:Jay’s InstagramJay’s FacebookBraveCo Instagramwww.braveco.org

In this episode, Jason and Lauren share their heart for equipping people to date well after divorce, but this episode is relevant to anyone with a past of any sort! Working through your past is a critical step in moving into healthy future relationships. One of the greatest risks involved in dating after a divorce is trying to jump into another relationship too soon. There is a lot of healing ground to cover before you know if you’re ready to date again! Going through a divorce is like having a major surgery as a professional athlete, and if you try to get back to normal activity too soon without the ok from your doctors and coaches, you run the risk of major complications. On the other side of your healing journey, you want to be able to say that your story of divorce actually brings trust and strength into your new relationships, and if you can’t say that, you’re probably not ready to date. How you get there and what questions you should ask yourself is what Jason and Lauren discuss in this episode. They also touch briefly on navigating this process when kids are involved.Below are links available to resources that Jason and Lauren have developed specifically to help people walk through processes of pain and forgiveness that are critical in this journey of preparing to date after divorce. Links:Winning the War Within by Jason VallottonEmotional Prosperity (ECourse)Connect with Lauren:InstagramFacebookEmail Connect with Jason:Jay’s InstagramJay’s FacebookBraveCo Instagramwww.braveco.org

This is Part 2 of a conversation on conflict resolution! If you haven’t listened to Part 1, pause, and go back to the episode released on February 22, 2023! In Part 1, Jason and Lauren unpack the difference between conflict and BEHAVIORS in conflict, which can really make or break a relationship. They make reference to one of their favorite resources on relational health, The Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work by John Gottman.Here in Part 2, Jason and Lauren discuss what can be done proactively inside of conflict that is bound to happen inside of your relationships to make sure that conflict actually contributes to the building of connection instead of the erosion of connection.Links: Connection CodesThe Gottman InstituteConnect with Lauren:InstagramFacebookEmail Connect with Jason:Jay’s InstagramJay’s FacebookBraveCo Instagramwww.braveco.org

So many people are terrified of conflict inside of their close relationships, and very few people feel really confident in their ability to engage in conflict in a really healthy and helpful way. But the truth is, a conflict-free relationship doesn’t make for a healthy relationship! Conflict is a natural and even necessary part of intimate relationships because conflict is the working out of two different peoples’ differences. In this episode, Jason and Lauren discuss how they grew up on opposite ends of the spectrum with regards to models for conflict resolution. They unpack principles laid out by John Gottman in his book, Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work as a means to explaining what typically happens in conflict and the behaviors of conflict that are actually really damaging. Part 2 will discuss the how-to’s of engaging in HEALTHY conflict!Links:The Gottman InstituteThe Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work by John GottmanConnect with Lauren:InstagramFacebookEmail Connect with Jason:Jay’s InstagramJay’s FacebookBraveCo Instagramwww.braveco.org

This is the second and final episode in which Jason and Lauren share the details of their dating story. It’s been thirteen years this week since their first date! In Episode 6, they unpacked the following and more: what it was like to date each other while Lauren’s family had deep concerns because of the blended family situation, how they knew they loved each other, their first kiss, and how they got to the point where they knew they wanted to marry each other. Also included in this episode are thoughts on how someone’s past and unique story can actually be a strength rather than a hindrance to connection in dating as well as some keys to know that you’re ready for a healthy dating relationship. Happy Valentine’s Day week, everyone!Connect with Lauren:InstagramFacebookEmail Connect with Jason:Jay’s InstagramJay’s FacebookBraveCo Instagramwww.braveco.org

Thirteen years ago this month, Jason asked Lauren out on their first date! So in honor of their dating anniversary and Valentine’s Day, they share their dating story in this episode! Who doesn’t love a good dating story?! Theirs has many twists and turns as Jason had been previously married and was a dad of three while Lauren was a student in the school where Jason was an overseer. There’s plenty of juicy details in this episode, so it’s chock-full of entertainment, but they also teach through principles of healthy dating culture. Enjoy! (And look for Part 2 coming on Wednesday, February 15, 2023.)Connect with Lauren:InstagramFacebookEmail Connect with Jason:Jay’s InstagramJay’s FacebookBraveCo Instagramwww.braveco.org

This is the third and final episode in the Foundations of Relational Health series, and Jason and Lauren unpack boundaries: what they are and are not! Among other things, boundaries help us protect our main mission, our priorities, and our love for people. Jesus is our best model for how to use boundaries in order to stick to His mission in life! He responded to life from a confident posture, knowing that He was about His Father’s business. We need a sense of calling in order to know where our yeses lie, and we need an understanding of the responsibilities we have in order to know and tend to our priorities. We do not have limitless capacity, so maturity is in knowing and communicating our boundaries to the world around us by the way we conduct and manage our lives and relationships. Knowing how your relationships plot out within the “circles of intimacy” is a helpful visual aid in understanding where your highest priority relationships lie with regards to trust, intimacy, responsibility and expectations. Boundaries help us protect our love for people based on these factors! We can’t be everything to everyone, but we should have people in our lives with whom we have reciprocal relationships of deep intimacy. This episode on boundaries is a fly-over on the topic, which will lay groundwork for topics coming in future episodes.Connect with Lauren:InstagramFacebookEmail Connect with Jason:Jay’s InstagramJay’s FacebookBraveCo Instagramwww.braveco.org

In the second part of the "Foundations of Relational Health" series, Jason and Lauren begin by talking about the season of life in which Jason walked through a divorce and learned the importance of knowing and communicating your needs. Not knowing his needs contributed to the breakdown of his first marriage, so learning to locate and validate his own needs was part of his journey in getting well after his divorce. Every person has the same set of basic needs like food, water and shelter, but every person has a unique set of needs according to their personalities and norms. When that core set of needs goes unmet, people are in pain.  But for an individual to feel known and loved, they need to be able to discover and communicate their needs, inviting the other person into those areas. We are a body, soul and spirit, and you cannot separate the three! Each part of our triune being has needs, and if those needs go unmet, we'll be in pain. A lot of this happens on a subconscious level, but growing in self-awareness helps us operate on a more conscious and intentional level. Jason and Lauren share stories of their dating and marriage journeys with regards to having needs, communicating needs and meeting needs in a healthy way.Connect with Lauren:InstagramFacebookEmail Connect with Jason:Jay’s InstagramJay’s FacebookBraveCo Instagramwww.braveco.org