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Speed Metal Cycling

English, Cycling/Bicycle, 9 seasons, 110 episodes, 5 days, 2 hours, 43 minutes
About
Unrestrained Professional Cycling Irreverence Since 2009.
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194 - Denzel Washington's Pinky Finger

A Colombian won the Tour de France. As promised, here's an episode. We didn't promise it would be good. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
8/5/20192 hours, 17 minutes, 57 seconds
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193 - Bye

This is it, folks. Thanks for many years of fun! Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
8/23/20181 hour, 4 minutes, 17 seconds
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192 - I Don't Like Fun

We are finally back! SkullKrusher finally had his daughter and CD couldn't wait to make fun of him and tell him what a mistake that is. Meanwhile Klaus and Natalia make fun of both of them. We discuss the World Cup, of course, Formula 1, of course and CD reveals that he does not like fun. No wonder he likes cycling! We close with a little Tour de France and Giro Rosa chatter.  Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
7/11/20181 hour, 2 minutes, 56 seconds
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191 - Motorola Forever

Natalia, CD and the Krusher discuss the upcoming World Cup and how SK can watch the game while still being a "good father" to his soon-to-be-born baby daughter. Sk also tells some story about some Slovakian dude on the phone who doesn't care much for Peter Sagan. They go on to talk about cycling...eventually. They wrap up the Giro, talk about the Dauphiné and touch on the Tour de Suisse. There's a little talk of the Tour de France, the Giro Rosa and the Ovo Energy Women's Tour. Bradley Wiggins comes up in conversation at some point. You've been warned. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
6/12/20181 hour, 8 minutes, 52 seconds
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190 - Baby Jesus in Underpants

Klaus is in the house. So are Natalia and the Krusher. After 20 minutes of 100% useless garbage talk we discuss the Tour de Romandie, the Festival Elsy Jacobs and, of course, the Giro d'Italia. Also mentioned in the episode are Lando Calrissian, random teenagers, Alejandro Valverde, some guy "in Colombian cycling", Jose Been, Egan Bernal, Danny Glover and Peter Sagan. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
5/15/20181 hour, 16 minutes, 26 seconds
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189 - The Wha Bus and the Bus Whale

Natalia and the Krusher discuss how boring other cycling podcasts are, cute piglets, the Tro-Bro Léon, the men's and women's Amstel Gold races and how to pronounce Jolien D'Hoore's name in Dutch. They close the episode with plenty of nonsense, making literal translations of Colombian sayings and dumb jokes. The last few minutes are worth their weight on gold! Exactly. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
4/18/201844 minutes, 52 seconds
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188 - Uphill Skier

It was a long night of editing this stupid episode, so no description. You know what we talked about, Paris-Roubaix, Miguel Indurain GP, Tour of the Basque Country, blah, blah, blah. Valverde. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
4/12/20181 hour, 8 minutes, 49 seconds
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187 - Julio Iglesias

Natalia and SkullKrusher dive right into cycling talk. Well, they first talk about Julio Iglesias, Jose Jose, Jose Luis Perales, Jose Luis Rodriguez "El Puma," and any other ridiculous singers from the 70s that our mothers and aunts thought were so handsome and sexy. Eventually the get to the Tour of Flanders, men's and women's, and the Scheldeprijs. Predictions for Paris-Roubaix will be made on our Instagram @SpeedMetalCycl Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
4/5/20181 hour, 32 seconds
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186 - If You Like Piña Coladas

A little bit of chatter about Italian drivers beating up Colombian pros, a little talk of names being changed by accident. Then, some Volta a Catalunya blah blah blah, a little bit of E3 Harelbeke and a little more about Gent - Wevelgem... We also mention the following names (in no particular order): Elia Viviani, Oliver Naesen, Katarzyna Niewiadoma, Alejandro Valverde, Wout Van Aert, Marcus Burghardt, Sep Vanmarcke, Mario Cipollini, Rupert Holmes,  Jolien D'Hoore, and many, many, many more. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
3/29/20181 hour, 17 minutes, 52 seconds
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185 - Great Mascara

We discuss Milano-Sanremo, the women's Trofeo Binda and a little bit of the  Volta a Catalunya. We tackle controversial topics such as racism, sexism, tiny Asians, mascara, packs of hyenas, the Dave Matthews Band and crocheted frogs. Just another typical, boring Speed Metal Cycling podcast. *sigh* Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
3/21/201857 minutes, 52 seconds
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183 - Basketball

The silly made-up Mickey Mouse racing is over. No more fake "Fourth Grand Tours," no more training races with teams in the 5th division, no more cute races in the dessert in front of 4 people. The real cycling season is finally here. We discuss the first few races and look forward to the Strade Bianche. The SkullKrusher is joined by Natalia and CD. We also discuss basketball, Kurtis Blow, Star Trek Wars, and the new Portland. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
2/28/20181 hour, 2 minutes, 43 seconds
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182 - All Colombia. All the Time.

As the title suggests this episode is basically 67 (or whatever) minutes of three Colombians talking about Colombia from a Colombian perspective. Nothing you haven't heard before, really. The new UCI 2.1 race, "Colombia 2.1 - Oro y Paz" gives us the perfect platform for ranting about how shitty the Colombian Federation is, how shitty the Colombian Federation is and how shitty the Colombian Federation is. As always, we hope you enjoy. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
2/13/20181 hour, 7 minutes, 43 seconds
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181 - A Picture of my Lightbulbs

We are back, and we have a very special guest: Mike Spriggs! No joke, he's back for this episode to talk about the 2018 pro cycling kits. Also, the SkullKrusher shares some personal news. First some good news followed by some bad news. We talk about the weather and then Klaus tells us he's building a boat. Yeah, an actual boat. He's not kidding. Only Klaus would take a joke this far. He's actually building a boat 'cuz he thinks its hilarious. And it is. Anyway, this episode is all about the new kits... and Klaus' boat... and Jens Keukeleire's clavicle... and Klaus' boat... and Klaus' lightbulbs. And his boat. And maybe a little professional cycling thrown in. You know, for good measure. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
1/9/20181 hour, 31 minutes, 25 seconds
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179 - Cycling Jeopardy!

It's been about 5 years since we played Cycling Jeopardy on the podcast. Last time our guest of honor, Maiko, moped the floor with Klaus and Mike and left a Lithuanian millionaire. This time around Natalia is the sole female and is here to represent women-folk and try to pick-up where Maiko left off. You know Mike is a silent killer, but will he even be able to find the buzzer? Klaus talks a big game. It's chance to prove he prowess and show what he's made of. Let's play Cycling Jeopardy!   Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
10/24/201754 minutes, 41 seconds
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No More Cycling

Wonder why this episode is so short? The answer will become apparent within the first 5 minutes. We had absolutely nothing to talk about. Cycling related, that is, because we did have a few conversations about metal health, American literary classics, New Order and Queen selling out and, of course, Star Trek. If this is your first time listening, please allow me to apologize and promise you that it's not always this bad. Never good, but hardly ever this bad Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
10/10/201746 minutes, 3 seconds
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Pansies

We talk about body odor, bar soap, career changes, gangs, juggalos and juggalettes, IRL friends, blue collar workers, Zwift training, therapy, masochism, and eventually get to cycling. We talk about how the UCI World Championships in Bergen left all of us a little deflated and disappointed. We wish it was a more interesting course, rather than the one-punchy-hill circuit again and again.  We also decide that cycling is and has been in the toilet. Oh, and we go around the room talking about our skin color. Because why not. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
9/26/20171 hour, 4 minutes, 55 seconds
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176 - Tooth in a Latex Glove

The whole gang is back together. And you know what that means. Klaus tells lots of stories of his trip to the Vuelta a España, Mike talks about his laundry, Natalia laughs a lot and SkullKrusher makes no sense and doesn't shut up. Topics include, electrical work, laundry services in New York City, Ivy League college exams, Alberto "El Pistolero" Contador, the World Championships and our picks. #cycling Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
9/12/20171 hour, 13 minutes, 11 seconds
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175 - Magical Eyelashes

Another special episode. #sarcasm. The SkullKrusher goes off on Terpstra and his stupid Instagram comments about Team Manzana Postobon. WARNING, this is an explicit episode for sure! Meanwhile CD does the whole podcast on his Zwift machine thing dilly. Natalia tries to keep the podcast going, as usual. Good luck y'all. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
9/7/201754 minutes, 10 seconds
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174 - Two Towels

So, we recorded this episode on Tuesday, but the audio files mysteriously disappeared into the internet. We thought about re-recording it, but decided we were just gonna wait until next week. Then, randomly; magically, really, the files just appeared! Basically what we are saying is that magic is real, Hagrid is awesome and Klaus and Mike did not join us. Cycling, cycling, cha, cha, cha... Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
8/31/20171 hour, 8 seconds
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173 - Part #684593-109

If you like power tools, you are in luck. We not only discuss the inner workings of a circular saw (sometimes known as a Skil saw), but we discuss the safety devices usually used in a table saw. Eclipse fever forever! Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
8/22/201759 minutes, 55 seconds
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172 - Eat Your Shoe

This is one of the episodes we have a hard time writing anything about. We talked about the upcoming Vuelta a España, mostly. We talked about stages worth watching, making Mike write them down in his calendar. SkullKrusher shared the strategy he thinks Orica should use to win the race and then mansplains the term "hump day" to Mike. All that, plus we make our picks. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
8/16/20171 hour, 2 minutes, 15 seconds
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171 - The Chicken Carnival

We are all super proud that we got this one done well within the hour. We celebrated with non-alcoholic champagne after we were done recording. We talked about everything, from Elvis wall clocks to WalMart and Larry H. Miller. Also in there we mention the Tour of Poland, the Euro Championships, the Tour of Utah, the mess that is the Vuelta a Colombia, the Vuelta a Burgos and Game of Thrones. New friend of the podcast, Juan Antonio Flecha makes a small appearance as well. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
8/8/201759 minutes, 11 seconds
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170 - It Runs in your Genes

SkullKrusher is on vacation, but proves his dedication to the podcast (once again) by joining the rest of the peeps from an RV park near Mount Rainier National Park in Washington state. That's dedication, people! Topics include, but are not limited to: Beer, tiny houses, hotel ice machines, farts, burps, "Fabian" Aru, women's cycling, the Tour de Trump, Cascadia, Mike's dating life, Craig's List and Rigoberto Uran's future. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
7/25/201758 minutes, 36 seconds
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169 - Natalia's Gramma is a Poseur

We talk about movies forever; like for a long, long, long time. But not good movies, or artsy movies, or even block busters. No. We talk about Keanu Reeves movies and White Chicks. Oh well... we also talk about the Tour, but it's mostly the SkullKrusher screaming about how much he hates everything and how the Tour has been really boring and how he hates cancer research. Natalia laughs a lot, Klaus interrupts everyone and Mike says very little. You know, the usual. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
7/18/20171 hour, 3 minutes, 3 seconds
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168 - Yo Qué Voy A Saber, Güevon!

We are giving you 13 extra minutes so you can start this week extra annoyed! This is the second episode in a row that we use umlauts in the title. Also of note, we are back to using Helvetica on the episode images. Anyway, in this episode we discuss Strava, feed zones, Sean Kelly and a marching band, the Tour, the Giro Rosa, Hans the eagle, Elbowgate, Armgate (a.k.a. Arugate), but most of all we discuss how awesome Rigoberto Urán is. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
7/11/20171 hour, 13 minutes, 56 seconds
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167 - Kraftwerk Really Are From Düsseldorf!

It's not often that we use an exclamation mark at the end of an episode title. Actually, we have not idea if that's true at all. Well, as it turns out Kraftwerk did meet and start making music together in Düsseldorf NOT in London, as the 'Krusher states in the episode. Anyway, Mike is MIA, once again, but joins the Colombians in spirit as they discuss the first three days of the Tour de France. Four, if you count the Grand Départ in Düsseldorf. And some other stuff. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
7/4/20171 hour, 41 seconds
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166 - Hans

Natalia is back! But now we lost Klaus. Oh, well. We talk about traveling and Swiss names. We try to convince Mike that watching the Tour can be fun and he should try it. We make our picks and basically jinx everyone in the race. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
6/27/20171 hour, 6 minutes, 13 seconds
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165 - Brought to You by HBO

If you thought last episode was bad, hold on to your suck-orama hats, 'cuz this one is a doozie. Thankfully, SkullKrusher has the sense to cut it short. Wow. Wow... that's all we can say. *Eagle sound effect* Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
6/13/201752 minutes, 8 seconds
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164 - Titanic

We finally sunk the podcast. Mike predicts this will be the last episode. Believe us, it's so bad, it might just be. SkullKrusher is suffering from a bad throat infection, but that doesn't stop him from being as loud, obnoxious or opinionated as ever. Natalia loses her cool over Royalty, Klaus goes on about Leica cameras... That's all after we sorta talk about the Hammer Series and the Dauphine. It swirls downward after that... quickly. SkullKrusher sings, too. It's bad. Really bad. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
6/6/20171 hour, 12 minutes, 53 seconds
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163 - Big Fat Pink Ribbon

Giro wrap up, so you know there will be a lot of poop talk, which is different than the usual bullshit we talk. Poop vs. Bullshit, na'mean? Also, Klaus makes fun of the main commentator for Colombian TV. Poop. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
5/30/20171 hour, 7 minutes, 11 seconds
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162 - Lance Made America Great Again

We get incredibly personal and uncomfortable with the SkullKrusher's first story. Truly cringe-worthy. Ugh. Then we talk about that HBO mockumantary, some other stuff and we do a Giro trivia game. Then, after 40 minutes, we finally talk about the race. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
5/23/20171 hour, 2 minutes, 53 seconds
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161 - Don't Be Afraid of the Tiger's Skin

Between the Giro d'Italia (the 2nd Grand Tour), the men's Tour of California (the 4th Grand Tour), and the women's Tour of California (the 6th Grand Tour), we have plenty of BS to talk about. And do we ever! Talk BS, I mean. Also, SkullKrusher blows a gasket over Patrick Dempsey. Geez, this dude cares about the weirdest shit. Seriously, bro, calm down, you're gonna give yourself an aneurysm! Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
5/16/201759 minutes, 37 seconds
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160 - Struggling to Keep His Pecker Up

We review the first three stages of the Giro. We also discuss Luka Pöstelberger, the alleged Ewan/Gaviria rivalry, Dennis Rohan, Bob Jungels, Nibali, G. Thomas and lots and lots and lots of pecker talk Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
5/9/201752 minutes, 20 seconds
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159 - Good Vibes Only

A little Romandie, a little Yorkshire, a lot Red Hook Crit. Giro predictions and that's about it. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
5/3/201754 minutes, 53 seconds
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158 - ¡Muñeco!

With the last weekend of the Ardennes classics behind us, you'd think we'd have plenty of cycling to talk about, right? Well, SkullKrusher rants about driverless cars, tells the story of Hachikō the dog, Natalia goes on and on about social media, Klaus interrupts everyone and all the while, Mike remains his quite self. We do, eventually, get to discuss La Flèche Wallonne, and Liège–Bastogne–Liège, both men's and women's. The classics season is over. Sad. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
4/25/201757 minutes, 38 seconds
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157 - Let's Talk About the Podium

Between SkullKrusher's announcements, Natalia's social media round-up and a conversation about podium girls/guys, it takes a while for the actual cycling talk to commence. What else is new. Finally, we start talking about the Tro-Bro Leon, but the analysis is interrupted by more talk about podiums and podium etiquette. We discuss both Amstel Gold races and come to the conclusion that they were both awesome and that the new route seems to have worked out. We make our predictions for La Flèche Wallonne  and Liège–Bastogne–Liège. The whole episode only had one microphone snafu. We'll take it. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
4/18/20171 hour, 1 minute, 30 seconds
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Bonus ep01

The SkullKrusher "sits down" with Gregg Betonte, co-owner of TV Motos International, a company that supplies races with motos for TV, of course. Not only is Gregg the boss, but he's also a camera guy. He shared plenty of insight with us. Enjoy the bonus episode! Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
4/11/20171 hour, 4 minutes, 8 seconds
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156 - Shaking a Can of Peanuts

We announce the launch of our Patreon campaign, we read some emails and Instagram stuff and then we discuss Paris-Roubaix. After that the SkullKrusher disappears and the other three have to finish the episode on their own. That's how we roll. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
4/11/201746 minutes, 30 seconds
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155 - A Second Jacketer

Tour of Flanders 2017, what else do you expect? Oh, we are launching our Patreon site next Sunday right after Paris-Roubaix! Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
4/4/20171 hour, 18 minutes, 33 seconds
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154 - Monkey Town

We discuss the Volta Catalunya, Dwars door Vlaanderen, the E3 Harelbeke, Gent-Wevelgem, and we look forward to the Tour of Taiwan (ok, we only mention it in passing), The Three Days of De Panne, the GP Miguel Indurain and we make predictions for the Tour of Flanders. Pretty much all cycling this episode. Sorry. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
3/28/20171 hour, 11 minutes, 49 seconds
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Just in Jewels

Sectional couches, Richard Nixon, manslaughter, David Harmon, helmet soccer, daddy sodas, Dave Attell and Pocahontas. That and much, much, much more (nonsense) in this episode of the best podcast ever: THE Speed Metal Cycling Podcast. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
3/21/20171 hour, 2 minutes, 9 seconds
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A Dog Named Pony

Klaus rejoins the gang, but does so from an echoey cave. He sounds like the spirit of an evil cycling fan who isn't scary at all. We apologize for that. We discuss Paris-Nice, Tirreno-Adriatico and the Ronde van Drenthe. Natalia and caveman Klaus have plenty of opinions, while SkullKrusher goes on about some nonsense and Mike... well we thought Mike was dead for a little, or maybe had just passed out. Fortunately , that was not the case. We think he just fell asleep. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
3/14/20171 hour, 2 minutes, 15 seconds
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Hammer Circus

Scandal at Sky!! And we barely talk about it. We do talk about the Strade Bianche (men's and ladies'), the beginning of Paris-Nice and some other races. As usual we talk other nonsense including tattooing, cat agility, pure breed dogs and other crap we are forgetting now. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
3/7/20171 hour, 5 minutes, 41 seconds
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The President of Lithuania

YES, we know Sagan is not Lithuanian! Klaus misses all the fun in today's episode. His loss. We talk about the Dubai Tour (just a little bit), the Omloop (men's and women's), Kuurne-Brussel-Kuurne and the Colombian National Championships. Also discussed, Peter Sagan, Tom Hanks, the President of Lithuania, Gaviria, Henao, Chaves, Haribo, food poisoning and liquid poop. See? I told you it was Klaus' loss. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
2/28/20171 hour, 7 minutes, 43 seconds
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The Opposite of Shy Bladder

Mike is back. Unfortunately, so is SkullKrusher. We discuss the first few races of the European season and Klaus retells the best joke ever told for Mike's enjoyment. 'Krusher promises that they will record  more often now that the season is in full force. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
2/18/20171 hour, 29 seconds
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It's Only for Pure Climbers

We discuss the Tour Down Under and manage to do so without mentioning koala bears or kangaroos a single time. As if that wasn't enough we also answer listener questions for a good 35 minutes. Yeah, you read it right. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
1/24/20171 hour, 8 minutes, 46 seconds
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Merry New Year!

Since Mike is on assignment, the Colombians have absolute freedom to do as they please, once again. Natalia gets all types of ruffled over the mention of a certain Spanish cyclist, we discuss our overall ambivalence toward the Tour Down Under, but barely mention Willunga Hill, which is unbelievable. Klaus brings out the big guns with the best joke ever told. At least 'Krusher believes so. He laughed for like 3 minutes straight. Something tells us this is not the last time we'll hear the punch line. "Punch" as in you guys will be "punching" yourselves in the face every time it comes up again, because of its sheer vacuousness. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
1/7/20171 hour, 31 seconds
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Merry Xmas!

Santa is bringing us bags of Fluimucil! Enjoy! Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
12/23/201640 minutes, 40 seconds
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SMC Holiday Party

We decided to record this episode during the Speed Metal Cycling holiday party. We were all pretty drunk, so we are not responsible for the content of this episode; or any other episode. Ever. Space poop. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
12/6/201659 minutes, 3 seconds
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Doofus Cyclist Eats it

Wow. This episode will sure break all the records for suckiness and horribility. We have proven, once again, that we have no business recording ourselves talk about anything, much less cycling. The rambles are incoherent, drawn out and dull. If you make it through the whole thing, we suggest therapy. There must be something seriously wrong with you and the way you precess information. Your insecurities must be put in check. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
11/8/20161 hour, 7 minutes, 52 seconds
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Team Manzana

The gang starts the episode discussing painful dental procedures and clench-provoking eye surgeries for the condition known as 'surfer eye.' After that, we talk about the World Championships, before turning their attention to the new Colombian Pro-Conti team Manzana Postobon. If you make it past the dental talk, you'll be rewarded with a fun episode. Good luck! Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
10/25/20161 hour, 1 minute, 17 seconds
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A Color Me Badd Cover Band

TUEsdays get a lot of attention from the world of cycling these days. Not only because the Speed Metal Cycling podcast comes out on Tuesdays, but because of this hacker/Sky Team/Wiggins thing. The guys (and gal) discuss. They also tackle the tough topic of wether or not Gaviria's jingle jangle should be kissed by other riders. World Championship picks are made, and the ridiculous heat of Qatar (apparently pronounced Gtrr) is made fun of. All this and much more in this happy episode of your mom's favorite podcast. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
10/11/20161 hour, 3 minutes
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Pam-plet

Red Hook Crit angry dude gets plenty of airtime and, of course, 'Krusher threatens to punch him in the face. The question is: before or after Sergio? The team discusses Il Lombardia and a little bit of Milano-Torino. The rest of the time is pretty much you average run-of-the mill SMC podcast. Blah, blah, blah... you know how it is. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
10/5/20161 hour, 4 minutes, 18 seconds
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It's Just Eagles

We find out that Iron Maiden makes SkullKrusher cry. Seriously. Topics in this episode range from early 90s hip-hop to (the) Eagles and Steely Dan. From the Giro dell'Emilia to Tom Danielson's girlfriend. The mystery of why sedans (saloons, in the UK) do not have read window wipers is solved by Klaus. What else, what else? Can't remember anything else, but we're sure there's more... Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
9/27/201659 minutes, 58 seconds
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The Forbidden Dance

How long can you talk about a parade? Well, today these guys broke the record and managed to do it for 4 hours and 38 minutes. Of course, we edited it down to about 16 painful minutes, but the original ramble was nothing short of epic. Other topics covered included the European Championships, and some transfer news. Natalia brought her tape recorder and attempted to keep the rest of the guys in check by playing annoying sound effects throughout the episode. God bless her soul. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
9/20/20161 hour, 8 minutes, 15 seconds
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We Are 138

It's a full house once again. And no, we are not talking Danny, Joey, Uncle Jesse and Kimmy. Klaus, Mike and Natalia join the SkullKrusher for a fun-filled episode. They discuss Colombian witchcraft in California, and the amazing Vuelta that was. Ekekos come up more than once, so when you are looking them up, make sure you spell it correctly: Ekekos. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
9/13/20161 hour, 4 minutes, 19 seconds
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My Mother Poured Acid All Over My Body

If this episode is half as nuts and exciting as the Vuelta has been, then we should be able to retire happy knowing that we published the awesomest episode ever. That's not gonna happen. As you may have guessed, tho, we discuss the last few stages of the Vuelta and also talk about bull fighting, Cuban witchcraft and acid. No, not that kind. The kind that burns your face, nipples and your unmentionables. Enjoy... we did. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
9/7/20161 hour, 12 minutes, 18 seconds
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It's Not Super Sticky

The episode should have been called 'An Ode to Nairo Quintana.' Listen and you'll see why. We discuss the Vuelta, some talk of transfers and rumors, and Natalia tells stories about meeting Diana Penuela and Iris Slappendel of the UHC women's team. Also, we ask for your help filling out our survey. That's about it. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
8/30/20161 hour, 14 minutes, 22 seconds
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Colombians Talk. A Lot.

Natalia and the SkullKrusher find themselves home alone. With the two parents away the proceed to talk. A lot. Olympics and the upcoming Vuelta are the main topics, but they discuss football (soccer) in Colombia, a little comic book talk and string theory. Also, predictions and picks for the Vuelta, including Klaus' and Mike's. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
8/18/20161 hour, 5 minutes, 43 seconds
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Smells Like Olympic Spirit

Mike and SkullKrusher man the ship alone on this one. They discuss 'Krusher's hatred of anything and everything Olympics, the men and women's Olympic race and late season transfers. Also, Natalia sends in a recording with her thoughts on the women's race and the Lizzie Armitstead affair. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
8/9/20161 hour, 2 minutes, 9 seconds
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Wine Is Stupid

With Natalia on holiday, the guys revert back to talking about everything except cycling. Topics include Steely Dan, cosplay, fashion and an exceptionally well timed game of "Get to Know Mike." The Gage&Desoto man reveals his favorite band when he was 20 years old and his hair cuts when he still had hair to cut. Amazing. All that and some Tour de France chatter. All here, all free. Good luck with that. #ThanksObama Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
7/29/20161 hour, 14 minutes, 29 seconds
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Face Holes

Tour de France banter, of course. Froome punches a Colombian in the face, then attacks one on the descent. The Red Kite inflatable needs Viagra. MC Hammer and Weird Al team up... or do they? We also make fun of Andy Schleck and SkullKrusher admits his crush on Mark Cavendish. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
7/11/20161 hour, 5 minutes, 31 seconds
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Take a Memo on your Newton

Giro Rosa, Tour de France and Brexit. What else is there? Well, there's ambulances, Brad Pitt, dishwashing, Andrew Dice Clay, NPR, SkyMall, cycling reenactment, and houses made out of shit. We talk about it all. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
7/1/20161 hour, 18 minutes, 6 seconds
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Invisible Racing

We apologize for the audio issues. Yet another sign that we have no idea WTF we are talking about. We discuss the Dauphiné, Route du Sud and Tour de Suisse. Also the women's Philly race and the Aviva women's tour. The SkullKrusher has been on a diet lately, which has kept him away from beer. He may seem understandingly irked these days. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
6/22/20161 hour, 29 minutes, 23 seconds
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Sponsored by Anodization

No 'Krusher? No problem. The rest of the gang takes over and throws kegger. They pour Bacardi in the fish tank and take turns taking massive upper deckers in the upstairs bathroom. Someone called the cops. Plop! Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
6/2/201636 minutes
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PARROTS & FJORDS

In Natalia's absence, the dudes try really, really hard to channel her spirit to talk about women's cycling, but they don't do a very good job. What they do accomplish beautifully is ramble on and on about Scandinavia, California and the Upper East Side in Manhattan. The fourth Grand Tour is discussed. Sorta. The Giro, a real Grand Tour, is also discussed. IAM Cycling is a Swiss registered UCI WorldTour cycling team, managed by former French road race champion Serge Beucherie. The title sponsor is IAM Independent Asset Management SA, a Swiss investment management company. And now they are gone. Poof. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
5/26/20161 hour, 13 minutes, 23 seconds
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¡PLOP!

It's a full house this episode. All four musketeers show up to talk about Full House (the show) and Sean Kelly's career as a broadcaster. Klaus mentions Furbies randomly and Natalia talks about women's races. Then the Giro is discussed. Actually, stage 6 of the Giro is discussed. Finally, as an encore, Mike brings us an interview/chat he did with long-time friend of the show Maiko. Drink up. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
5/13/20161 hour, 20 minutes, 39 seconds
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Walt Disney's Head Just Floats there

Mike, Klaus and Dan are in rare rambling form. Mostly Dan. That led to 54% of the episode having to be edited out. You missed a lengthy ramble by SkullKrusher about Cinco de Mayo, a little discussion about the Black Panther and some talk about internet porn stars. Other than that, it's all in there: Natalia sent a report to catch us up on the world of women's cycling, LBL, Romandie, bicycles... we also made our predictions for the Giro. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
5/6/20161 hour, 12 minutes, 52 seconds
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At Self-Aware Roomba Oofa Woofa

The SkullKrusher welcomes back Klaus who tells a few tales of his trip to Paris-Roubaix. Mike and Natalia also join in as they discuss Amstel Gold, the Fleche Wallonne (men's and women's), and all sorts of other stuff like Quincy Jones, Klaus' favorite topic: Alejandro Valverde's hairline. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
4/22/20161 hour, 23 minutes, 28 seconds
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A Hippie Dreamcatcher Situation

We were all left speechless after the amazing race that Paris-Roubaix turned out to be, so the episode is mostly silence, except for when Mike, 'Krusher and the newest member of the team, Natalia talk and talk and talk. We love run-on sentences. We explore women's cycling and hope that it will become a recurring theme in the podcast going forward, now that Natalia has joined the gang. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
4/13/20161 hour, 12 minutes, 34 seconds
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The Harvard Paddy Wagon

After a thrilling Tour of Flanders, we look forward to Paris-Roubaix. We also talk about Boston. A young lady was waiting for her flight in the boarding room of a big airport. As she would need to wait many hours, she decided to buy a book to spend her time. She also bought a packet of cookies. She then sat down in an armchair, in the VIP room of the airport, to rest and read in peace. Cycling. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
4/5/20161 hour, 7 minutes, 24 seconds
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The Polish Iron Maiden

The brothers fly "solo" and discuss comic book movies, bad Metallica records, Silicon Valley, the show, and Colombian soccer. In an unexpected turn of events they also talk about cycling; specifically the recent races from Milan-Sanremo on. They also make fun of Mike. Of course. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
3/31/20161 hour, 3 minutes, 35 seconds
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Make Cycling Great Again

The original title for the episode was going to be "Civil War: Underoos Make Cycling Great Again," but the squares in marketing made us change it. The one and only Nate King Cole joins us from California to share a few stories from his trip to the Strade Bianche. After that we talk about Paris-Adriatico, boiled meats, Dayer Quintana's great-great grand brother, the presidential election, Colombian Chinarellos, Captain America, waffles and close the episode discussing Milan-Sanremo. Oh, we also decided to always refer to Geraint Thomas as "G." Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
3/18/20161 hour, 15 minutes, 10 seconds
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Paraguayan Superman Lopez Position

Klaus took some time off, so we welcomed back CD as a co-host. He's Portland royalty, you know. With the season finally on it's way, we waste like 20 minutes talking about Instagram, Paraguay, internet top-level domains (TLDs) and unemployment. Eventually we get around to discussing the 2016 Omloop Het Nieuwsblad and the Kuurne-Brussels-Kuurne. Finally we talk more nonsense and make our picks for the Strade Bianche. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
3/2/20161 hour, 7 minutes, 50 seconds
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Colombian Jingle-Jangle

Recreational doping, budgie trafficking, baseball and Bernie Sanders. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
2/11/20161 hour, 11 minutes, 58 seconds
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Regression to the Mean

The nerdiest episode ever. Dr. Krusher swings by with all types of nerdom. We discuss research methods, Rainbow Curses, doctorates and research papers. We also talk ASO, UCI, RCS... UPS, GPS, CVS... We finish it off with talk about 2016 kits. Suck it. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
12/24/20151 hour, 20 minutes
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A Meatball in Cleats

Drake, Star Wars, Syrian refugees, water shortages, Venezuelan poker games, post-season baseball, cocaine use and the UAE. Yup, another episode of the Speed Metal Cycling podcast. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
10/23/20151 hour, 4 minutes, 27 seconds
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Fragrance Doping

The UCI World Championships were this weekend in Richmond, VA. All three of us were there, but we did not hang out together. We each had a job to do and we did it. Klaus was covering the event as media, Mike was there as a Rapha representative, SkullKrusher had a lot of beers to drink. In this episode we talk all about it and share our silly stories. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
9/30/20151 hour, 31 minutes, 47 seconds
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Electric Biker Gang

The SkullKrusher is drunk and that's all you need to know. Oh, that and that we talked about the Vuelta and e-bikes. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
9/15/20151 hour, 19 minutes, 22 seconds
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Electric Biker Gang

The SkullKrusher is drunk and that's all you need to know. Oh, that and that we talked about the Vuelta and e-bikes. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
9/15/20151 hour, 19 minutes, 22 seconds
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Kenny Lofton Trivia

Mike Spriggs swears he wasn't on a date. Nibali swears it was only 100m. Klaus swears he knows who Joe Dombrowski is. SkullKrusher's wife swears she knows nothing about pro cycling. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
8/25/20151 hour, 10 minutes, 39 seconds
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Kenny Lofton Trivia

Mike Spriggs swears he wasn't on a date. Nibali swears it was only 100m. Klaus swears he knows who Joe Dombrowski is. SkullKrusher's wife swears she knows nothing about pro cycling. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
8/25/20151 hour, 10 minutes, 39 seconds
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Pegasus Kick-Ass Wings

World renowned bicycle racer Nate King joins the gang as a guest host, since Mike is MIA. The word on the street is that he was on a hot date. The guys wrap up the Tour and get into a serious topic (for once) toward the end of the episode. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
7/31/20151 hour, 21 minutes, 41 seconds
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Pegasus Kick-Ass Wings

World renowned bicycle racer Nate King joins the gang as a guest host, since Mike is MIA. The word on the street is that he was on a hot date. The guys wrap up the Tour and get into a serious topic (for once) toward the end of the episode. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
7/31/20151 hour, 21 minutes, 41 seconds
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That's a Long Lap Dance

The SkullKrusher and Mike are joined by special guest Maiko, who hasn't been a guest in a long, long while. Together they discuss everything that has gone on in France on the last week; from squashed testicles to decaf tea. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
7/23/20151 hour, 3 minutes, 47 seconds
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That's a Long Lap Dance

The SkullKrusher and Mike are joined by special guest Maiko, who hasn't been a guest in a long, long while. Together they discuss everything that has gone on in France on the last week; from squashed testicles to decaf tea. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
7/23/20151 hour, 3 minutes, 47 seconds
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Where Thibaut At?

Mid-Tour de France recap, discussion of dental aesthetics, and a cocaine party. Rigoberto Uran does not come up during the episode at all. Like AT ALL. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
7/14/20151 hour, 13 minutes, 52 seconds
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Where Thibaut At?

Mid-Tour de France recap, discussion of dental aesthetics, and a cocaine party. Rigoberto Uran does not come up during the episode at all. Like AT ALL. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
7/14/20151 hour, 13 minutes, 52 seconds
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Worst. Episode. Ever.

The title says it all. We talk about the metric system. A lot. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
6/24/20151 hour, 6 minutes, 13 seconds
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Cultural Feedback Loop

We start by talking about Mike breaking his chain and disposing of it rather than trying to fix it. From there we move on to hot police officers in Italy, the BAR test in the state of New York and, of course, we make fun of Amgen. The SkullKrusher tried to play a game with Mike and Klaus, but they suck at it and he quickly gives up. Dudes don’t look good in yoga pants. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
6/4/20151 hour, 1 minute, 39 seconds
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Boot Scootin’ Boogie

Klaus, Mike and Dan are back. We discuss the Tour of Romandie, that race in Turkey, vexillology, and make some predictions for the Giro and the Amgen (aka the ToC). We also talk about our new art competition. Dan tells a couple of awful jokes and Klaus hangs up on him. The rest is pretty much nonsense. As usual. Enjoy… if you can. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
5/7/20151 hour, 22 minutes, 26 seconds
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Physics Professors Love Recumbents

Boston gets a good 5 minutes worth of chatter. Valverde gets 2 minutes. David Sedaris gets a few seconds. The rest is pretty much nonsense. As usual. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
4/30/20151 hour, 8 minutes, 43 seconds
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Kiss on my List

Knee sex, the Rigodrone, Gogo, fan fiction, Paris-Roubaix, T-shirts made out of ovens and other assorted topics of interest to you and your family. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
4/15/20151 hour, 22 minutes, 41 seconds
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Soggy Baguette

A very, very special VIP guest joins us to discuss podium misters, Paris-Roubaix odds and Alexander Kristoff Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
4/8/20151 hour, 8 minutes, 34 seconds
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Shimano 105

The Splendid Table, Guy Fieri, sushi restaurants in New York City, avocado recipes and some cycling. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
3/26/20151 hour, 7 minutes, 16 seconds
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Tour of Podunk

We chat about the beginning of the “real” cycling season, make fun of Etixx, Betancur’s baby and as always: Chris Horner. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
3/5/20151 hour, 17 minutes, 26 seconds
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Signs of Opulence

We discuss the coverage of the Tour of San Luis in excruciating detail and make fun of Paul Smith a little. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
1/29/20151 hour, 5 minutes, 4 seconds
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Tron Steak Mountain

We review the 2015 kits in GREAT detail and Mike mocks Klaus for his pronunciation of the letter Z.  Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
1/9/20151 hour, 19 minutes, 39 seconds
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Nothing to Talk About

New kits, transfers, paychecks, vacation days and Chris Horner. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
12/12/20141 hour, 10 minutes, 20 seconds
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Bobby Brown Live!

We celebrated our 100th episode with a live episode. We interacted with listeners and rambled on and on. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
10/13/201459 minutes, 42 seconds
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Announcement about ep. 100 LIVE!

Episode #100 will be broadcast live. To listen visit this page Sunday, October 12 at 3pm EDT, Noon PDT, 8pm BST. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
10/8/20145 minutes, 52 seconds
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Ira Glass: Bride of Chucky

Ep 99: Nude-kit-gate, the hour record, the Vuelta wrap-up. Sorry, we do not discuss knee herpes. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
9/19/20141 hour, 4 minutes, 59 seconds
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Dark Helmet’s Helmet

Ep 98: Topics include Baseball, fantasy football, the Vuelta, POC helmets, Mexican ladies and Pirate Metal. Sorry, we do not discuss knee herpes. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
9/5/20141 hour, 1 minute, 22 seconds
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Double Quack!

Ep 97: Topics include Guardians of the Galaxy, Speed Metal Hunks and the Vuelta. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
8/21/20141 hour, 12 minutes, 42 seconds
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I Have Burgos in my Pants

Ep 96: Topics include fat cyclists, knee herpes, Lyndon B. Johnson, Fresca and The Anaconda. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
8/14/20141 hour, 17 minutes, 32 seconds
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The Rise of the Candlebox Colombians

Ep 95: Topics include the Tour de France, Phil Liggett, Say Anything and Game of Thrones. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
7/31/20141 hour, 14 minutes, 38 seconds
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Dude’s drowning. Grab his hat.

Ep 94: Topics include the Tour de France, watches, Greg LeMond and boners. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
7/16/20141 hour, 2 minutes, 46 seconds
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The Smell of Fish and Chips

Ep 93: Topics include David Millar, his sister, Mike’s lack of World Cup fever, Tour de France predictions and herpes. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
7/2/20141 hour, 9 minutes, 15 seconds