Do you struggle with identifying feelings or experiencing emotions? Maybe it's hard to be happy or impossible to sit with anger or sadness. In this LIVE podcast recording Lindsay and Annie discuss their experiences with denying or avoiding emotions, and then share the tools they're using for identifying, allowing, + tolerating a range of emotions. You're doing a great job being human! 

Have you denied your empathetic, highly sensitive, authentic self? Are you curious how to navigate the chaotic world with more ease? Join us for this LIVE recording as we share our experiences and the resources + tools that are guiding us towards balance, safety, and respect for our sensitive nervous systems. Be sweet to yourself. *And: Annie mistakenly referred to Rejection Sensitivity Dysphoria as Rejection Sensitivity Dysmorphia. Oops!*

Tangled in the compulsive knot of codependent behaviors and thoughts? You're not alone, you are worthy, there is hope, and it can get better. We look at how codependency affects our emotional, mental, spiritual, and physical health. We share our own experiences with how codependency harms us, then share tools for recovery that help us find balance, a sense of self, and the courage to find a new way. We love ya, you're doing so great! Apologies for imperfect sound, we're fine-tuning equipment!

Live recording! Our Insight Timer Live Stream Podcast on Aging. This 30-min episode is all about facing, and maybe even embracing, aging with spiritual tools. From Botox to prayer we bare it all.  Apologies for the low volume in one section due to being a live recording. We love you and you're perfect exactly the age and way you are TODAY. Listen and let us know what aging is like for you these days. xo

Are you trapped in projection? This episode explores the negative traits and unwanted emotions we project onto others, resulting in pain for all involved. Today we look to our shadow sides to help find our unconscious projections. Then, we share tools we're using for self awareness so we can begin to unravel the painful narratives we have believed for so long. Our hope is for freedom! Join us! 

Can creating inner safety hold and nurture us in our outward facing lives? Could we provide the calm and serene states we so desire and try to gain in our outside worlds? Join Annie and Lindsay as they explore what it feels like to live in unsafe zones within yourself. Learn to bring safety and care to yourself from yourself.  Have you ever thought about your internal surroundings? What makes you feel safe in your body?What anchors you spiritually? How do you create emotional safety in the face of internal or external disturbances?  When do you notice yourself feeling unsafe?  Has harsh inner criticism, past hurts, perceived failings, and longing- constructed an absence of safety? Join us as we dismantle internal hazards and cultivate inner safety.   

Embracing your inner critic, healing the inner critic, naming your inner critic. You name it, we dive into it during this Inner Critic episode. First, we share how our inner critics are present in our lives today—and how they came to be. Then, we talk about spiritual tools we’re using to cultivate inner safety and soothe that harsh, internal voice. Join us for this special episode! We love ya!

This is a special guest episode starring Sara Longacre. Sara is a health advocate who is passionate about educating others about what Obsessive Compulsive Disorder actually is. We get into lesser known OCD characteristics and explore what it was like for Sara to be diagnosed. We also tackle new vocabulary terms for our regular traits instead of misusing OCD as a state we can go in and out of.  Join us!

We need all the help! We talk self advocacy, taking suggestions, choosing a therapist, talking to doctors, navigating mental health, and—of course—some laughs and a few tears. Annie + Lindsay share their experiences and tools for how to get help. Remember, you’re not alone. If you need help, we hope you feel empowered to get it. We love ya. We hope you love you, too. 

Struggling with boundaries? Setting internal boundaries makes it easier to have external boundaries with friends, family, work, lovers...you name it. Internal boundaries help us define ourselves to ourselves. They help us know what we like, don't like, how we feel, what we believe, our emotions, our spiritual sense. When we can clearly take responsibility for our internal physical, emotional, and mental experience, we can navigate the world easier. DON'T PANIC. We don't have this all figured out, either. But we do share our current experiences and terrific tools to help you set and maintain internal boundaries. We believe in you. You're doing great!   

Is being patient possible? Of course we talk Axl Rose and Botox, but mainly this episode explores how impatience shows up in our spiritual life, our physical bodies, our mental health, our day-to-day lives, and the suffering it causes. Then, we share tools and stories of how we're practicing patience to cultivate more love in ourselves and the world around us. Join us as we talk about how to be patient—at least our attempts—and patience as a spiritual practice. It's lighthearted, serious, and full of love. xo

Forgiveness is usually focused on forgiving others. Here, we discuss the powerful act of forgiving oneself and share tools to help achieve this goal. We share intimately about our own areas that need self forgiveness, including: exploring self hatred; critical judgments; regrets; and unrealistic expectations. By practicing soothing phrases, empowering mantras, and meditation we learn the value of self forgiveness. We can hone our skills of self forgiveness as a pathway to greater self love. 

Our first 2021 episode explores the intentional mindset we want to embody and how we hope to grow in the coming year. We’ll talk choosing a one-word theme to help us focus on our intentions, and what we envision it providing for us over the year. We also share personal goals for 2021and healthy paths towards acheiving those goals. We’re all about intentions, not resolutions. This spiritual journey requires gentleness and a focus on progress, not perfection. Be kind to yourselves. xo

This year we've practiced, prayed, tried, failed, and tried again. Let's pause to acknowledge our growth and integration. By integration, we mean how we've incorporated new tools, behaviors, habits, perceptions, intentions over this year. As we integrate, we merge the old and new to become ever more whole. As the year ends, we look back, recognize, and celebrate our aspirations and intentions and our hard work on our journeys to wholeness. Join us! 

In our newest episode, we are waking up to our mental exhaustion and applying tools to find rest in all areas: spiritual, mental, creative, and sensory. We are hopeful to untuck the idea that there are moments of rest we haven’t tapped into yet . We are going to ask the question, where are we not resting? Where are we tiring ourselves out in moments we could find the sacred pause? The restful ease of knowing we can put our thinking minds down and attempt to rest in that space of simply being? Through this practice, could we heal our mental, physical, and emotional exhaustion? We supply the tools to help us all find out how to practice to get the much needed healing and rest we all deserve. 

Welcome! Let's talk affirmations for cultivating self love. Hurray, right? We talk the science of affirmations, recognizing and counteracting negative self talk, and filling our self-love well when it’s running empty. You read that right, we're talking mind magic. We share about our previous skepticism with the practice of affirmations, how emotional pain brought us the willingness to try, and—lo and behold—how they actually work for us, too! Join us for spiritual tools, earnest attempts to grow, & a shared sense of humor about it all. We love ya!

Struggling with stress in 2020? This podcast episode shares practical tips and spiritual tools for easing anxiety in a year filled with stressors. We have a very special guest, Anika, who along with Annie and Lindsay discusses her current experience with stress and tools we all can use right now to reduce stress in our lives. Be gentle with yourselves everyone, this is a hard year! We love you, we hope this episode provides you some tools to give yourselves much deserved comfort and ease.

Dear Diary! Journals aren't just archives of our junior high crushes. They're also amazing tools for self reflection, spiritual connection, anxiety relief, and tracking personal growth over time. We share our experiences with journaling over the years and practical ways to use journals on your spiritual journey. BONUS! We share journaling techniques from our very special listeners who wrote in with their favorite ways to journal. Join us on this special episode! We love ya. xoxo 

Today we have our first guest, Kelly! In this episode we discuss not knowing your own power, giving away your power, and finally learning tools to help own your power. In a world where so many people struggle for power, we explore what it means to connect with and reclaim our own inner power. From somatic experiencing to body scans to breathing and prayer we offer different ways for you to get rooted in your power. Want to share your experience or tools with us? Find us on Instagram, Facebook, Insight Timer, Google Play, Spotify, Soundcloud, Podbean, and Stitcher (or our Contact page) and share your feelings, thoughts, and anything else! Thanks for listening to our spiritual podcasts. We love ya!

2020 changed things. From global pandemic to Black Lives Matter to shifts in this sweet podcast. We've been on pause for months as Pretty Spiritual Podcast reflected on our role in this new landscape. Dear Ella will not be participating in Season 2 of the podcast, but Annie and Lindsay Poni are here for you—sometimes with guests—to share experience and spiritual tools, laughs and tears. This episode will talk these transitions and the spiritual tools we’re using to navigate huge change. Join us, we missed you!   

How are you feeling today? Are you grateful, in fear, overwhelmed, feeling anxious, depressed, happy? Or maybe some other list of feelings entirely! Identifying emotions is the first step in making space for them. The more we allow our feelings and emotions to be here the less power they have to control and overwhelm us. Can we allow our feelings to teach us? In this episode, we share our feelings and experiences and then the tools we are using to make peace with our current reality. Join us! Want to share your experience or tools with us? Find us on Instagram, Twitter, Facebook, Insight Timer, Google Play, Spotify, Soundcloud, Podbean, and Stitcher (or our Contact page) and share your feelings, thoughts, and anything else! Thanks for listening to our spiritual podcasts. We love ya!

How To Be Courageous This week on Pretty Spiritual Podcast, we're talking about how to be courageous. For so many of us, the idea of courage makes us think of alliance and bravery, the absence of fear. But it turns out in practice, it looks pretty different. So, what is courage? It's not the absence of fear. Courage means we do what we need to do despite the fear. Join the fun as we talk about how to have courage to face the life that's right in front of us one moment at a time. We'll share about where courage is alive in each of our lives. This includes courage required to live our fullest lives, to be present with our own experience, and to love ourselves exactly as we are.  Want to share your experience or tools with us? Find us on Instagram, Twitter, Facebook, Insight Timer, Google Play, Spotify, Soundcloud, Podbean, and Stitcher (or our Contact page) and share your feelings, thoughts, and anything else! Thanks for listening to our spiritual podcasts. We love ya!

Find soothing from within. There's a current of anxiety in the larger world and maybe in our own homes. From covid and systemic racism to fear and disconnection, we share our current fears and unmet needs and wants. Then, we discuss the spiritual tools we’re experimenting with to address our unmet needs. Many of us notice an impulse to reach for soothing from outside things. Can we find that soothing and sense of belonging from within? This is a tender time, be gentle with yourselves.

Sweet friends, today we offer grounding techniques for uncertain times. It's natural to feel anxious or ungrounded at times, and especially during coronavirus. Here we talk about how to calm down when the world is topsy turvy. We share our own experiences with feeling anxious, scared, or ungrounded—and then we share practical tips and spiritual tools for ways to calm down. We may not be able to control pandemics or covid-19, but we can find safety within. Sending you love. You're not alone.

How To Deal With Loneliness These are some weird and stressful times! What better topic for our newest episode than feeling lonely. We recorded this episode about a month before the coronavirus reality started impacting our lives in the United States, but we’re hoping that it can still be helpful, especially if you’re feeling alone with fear or anxiety about our present circumstances. All of us have some experience with feeling alone. In this modern time, we are more connected than ever, but that can also make us feel farther away. Join us as we explore the question of how to deal with loneliness, especially in these unique, global circumstances.  Annie takes the lead in episode 49 and offers this definition of loneliness: “a state of mind characterized by a dissociation between what an individual wants or expects from a relationship and what that individual experiences in that relationship.” Or, in very simple terms, it’s perceived isolation. We’ll borrow that definition from Stephanie Cacioppo’s study of loneliness. Feeling Lonely If you’re dealing with loneliness, we want to assure you that you are so not alone in the struggle! These numbers reflect the impact of loneliness pre-quarantine, so we can only imagine that more and more people are starting to share in this difficult experience. 1 in 3 Americans is impacted by loneliness and 1 in 12 is severely impacted. And get this: loneliness is actually contagious. So we’ve got a lot of good reasons to dive into the topic and learn how to fight loneliness together. It turns out that loneliness is a piece of biology that helps us recognize our social needs. This was a really useful signal to ourselves that we need other people. It’s our biological cue to get into connection. If we don’t tap into the great connection that exists between all of us, we can get really stuck feeling separate. This can be especially hard if we have learned how to live life without deep connections, which can manifest as a state of chronic loneliness. Often, we don’t let people into our deepest and most painful experiences because we feel like outsiders. Perhaps we feel ashamed of our process or experience. Or maybe we just can’t connect to our true sense of belonging. No matter the reason we’re feeling cut off, healing means turning toward connection with ourselves and with others. If we want to learn how to overcome loneliness, we need to let people in.  What To Do When Feeling Lonely Wondering, why do I feel so alone? There are places inside of us that feel separate, disconnected, and like they don’t belong. The lonely places can seem even bigger because we feel like we’re the only ones having this experience. So we get to ask ourselves, what unmet needs are asking for my attention? We get it and we’re here for you! We’re so grateful to have each other and our spiritual community as our spiritual bffs. We need this loving support system and we want you to feel supported, too. We are so grateful when you reach out to us and want to urge you to reach out when you’re feeling alone. So start where it’s easy and feels warm (we hope!) We know how scary it can feel to extend yourself to others, especially when you’re feeling cut off. But in order to heal from loneliness, we need rich, reciprocal bonds. It’s a two-way street of connection where we let people get to know us and we also show up to get to know them.  We Are Always Here For You Instead of struggling through this life by ourselves, we want to share and celebrate our vital, human connections. Thank you so, so much for listening and being part of our virtual community. Please reach out and let us know what you need during these difficult times and how we can help support your spiritual journey. We are always here for you! And as always, we can’t wait to hear what you think. Please let us know by emailing us or connecting with us on social media and commenting there. We’re all one big team. We’ve got to stick together! So come find us in all the places: Instagram, Twitter, Facebook, Insight Timer, Google Play, Spotify, Soundcloud, Podbean, and Stitcher (or our Contact page) and share your feelings, thoughts, and anything else! Thanks for listening to our spiritual podcasts. We love ya!

  How To Heal A Broken Heart   Wanting to know how to heal a broken heart? We’re with you friends. Turns out, how to get over heartbreak is something everyone deals with, sooner or later. In this very sweet and very tender episode, your spiritual best friends dive into the topic of getting over a breakup.   We may not have a magic potion for you, but we do have some experience and hope to share around breaking up with someone you love. You see, we all have had a broken heart, too. Ella shares very sweetly about the experience of being in the midst of a breakup. Annie talks about being in two different loving relationships, one where she was the person breaking up with someone she loved and the other where she was the person being broken up with. Poni shares very tenderly about breaking up with someone you love, even if that someone is not a romantic partner. This means you might be experiencing a breakup with a family member or a friend if the relationship has become troubling.   Sometimes we have to create space to protect our hearts, even if it breaks our hearts for the short term.   How To Get Over Someone You Love   In this episode, we talk about how hard it is (and how possible it is!) to get over someone you love. We know that getting over a breakup with someone you love sometimes needs more than just time and patience. That’s why we we don't just share our personal stories. We also share proven research about down-regulation of love to help your heart heal faster. That’s right, science! Who doesn’t love a little bit of science to help heal that sweet, tender heart?   Are you curious what down-regulation of love means? Here is one example of how to heal a broken heart with down-regulation of love. First, you catch yourself staring at photos of your ex on social media, and fantasizing about them. Second, we encourage you to immediately stop following them on every social platform (always a good idea). Third, if you do happen to start dreaming about your ex, you can practice down-regulation of love by shifting from the positive, “Oh, they were so wonderful and perfect,” to the negative, “They actually never showed up for me in the way that I wanted them too.” Typically, we don't encourage negative thinking. However, this shift from negative to positive can actually help retrain your brain to ease out of the love with that person. That is to say, get over heartbreak faster.      What To Do After A Breakup   We know that broken hearts hurt so bad. We love you and are cheering for you. That’s why we decided to do this episode. Sometimes we need loving support and to know we’re not alone. Other times we need a basic instruction manual for life and serious spiritual healing to help us get through a hard time.    In that vein, Ella demonstrates in real time the tools of being present that she uses to walk through her breakup. Annie shares tips and tools for how to handle life after a breakup whether you are the breakee or the breaker. (Do you like when we make up new vocabulary words, just to better accommodate the heartbreak episode? Breaker seemed like a good word to describe the person who is choosing to end the relationship and Breakee seemed like a good term to describe the person who is getting the breakup handed to them.) Poni shares some fantastic online resources that are linked in our tools tab, plus great somatic experiencing tools that can help you be present in moments of pain.    You Are Not Alone   Seeking out a loving support system is always important after a breakup. In addition to safe friends and family, building up your internal support system so you can self soothe is also important. We love meditation and prayer for finding space in scary times. Also, sometimes a sudden breakup can be experienced like trauma and can knock you off your feet. If you are suffering and need extra support, we always encourage you to reach out to your therapist for extra guidance. You don’t have to do any of this alone.    To sum it all up, we want you to know that whether your heart is hurting and you’re unsure what to do, you are not alone. We are here for you with this special podcast episode about how to deal with heartbreak. We hope it opens up a spark of light in your heart so you feel safe, loved, and some sense of peace that even in sad or hard times you will find joy again.    Plus, there are so many cute people to kiss in the world! We can’t wait to hear what you think. Please let us know by emailing us or connecting with us on social media and commenting there. We’re all one big team. We’ve got to stick together.   How To Heal A Broken Heart    We may not have a magic potion for you, but we do have some experience and hope to share around breaking up with someone you love. You see, we all have had a broken heart, too.   Ella shares very sweetly about the experience of being in the midst of a breakup. Annie talks about being in two different loving relationships, one where she was the person breaking up with someone she loved and the other she was the person being broken up with. Poni shares very tenderly about breaking up with someone you love, even if that someone is not a romantic partner. Sometimes we have to create space to protect our hearts, even if it breaks our hearts for the short term.   How To Get Over Someone You Love   In this episode, we talk about how hard it is (and how possible it is!) to get over someone you love. We know that getting over a breakup with someone you love sometimes needs more than just time and patience. That’s why we’re sharing not only our personal stories but some proven research about down-regulation of love to help your heart heal faster. That’s right, science! Who doesn’t love a little bit of science to help heal that heart!    Are you curious what down-regulation of love means? An example of down-regulation of love would be, when you catch yourself staring at photos of your ex on social media, you would disengage from following them at all (always a good idea). Then, if you did happen to start dreaming about your ex, you’d practice down-regulation of love. This means instead of saying, “Oh, they were so wonderful and perfect,” and viewing your ex through neon pink rosy glasses you'd shift to the negative. You might think to yourself, “Actually, they never showed up for me in the way that I wanted them too.”   We don't usually promote negative thinking. However, this shift from negative to positive can help retrain your brain to ease out of the love with that person. That is to say, get over heartbreak faster.     What To Do After A Breakup   We know that broken hearts hurt so bad. We love you and are cheering for you. That’s why we decided to do this episode. Sometimes we all need extra love and support and to know that we are not alone. Other times we need a basic instruction manual for how to get through a hard time.    In that vein, Ella demonstrates in real time the tools of being present that she uses to walk through her breakup. Annie shares tips and tools for how to handle life after a breakup whether you are the breakee or the breaker. (Do you like when we make up new vocabulary words, just to better accommodate the heartbreak episode? Breaker seemed like a good word to describe the person who is choosing to end the relationship and Breakee seemed like a good term to describe the person who is getting the breakup handed to them.) Poni shares some fantastic online resources that are linked in our tools tab, plus great somatic experiencing tools that can help you be present in moments of pain.    We Heal Together   Seeking out a loving support system is always important after a breakup. In addition to safe friends and family, building up your internal support system so you can self soothe is also important. We love meditation and prayer as two tools to help create internal space and internal support when we are feeling overwhelmed. Also, sometimes a sudden breakup can be experienced like trauma and can knock you off your feet. If you are suffering and need extra support, we always encourage you to reach out to your therapist for extra guidance. You do not have to do any of this alone.    To sum it all up, we want you to know that whether your heart is hurting or you’re unsure what to do, you are not alone. We are here for you with this special podcast episode about how to deal with heartbreak. We hope it opens up a spark of light in your heart so you feel safe, loved, and gives you some sense of peace that even in sad or hard times you will find joy again.    Plus, there are so many cute people to kiss in the world! Just think of all the fun you'll have once your heart is on the mend.   We can’t wait to hear what you think. Please let us know by emailing us or connecting with us on social media and commenting there. We’re all one big team. We’ve got to stick together.   Much Love,   Pretty Spiritual Podcast Annie, Ella, & Lindsay Poni  

Why So Serious? On the special one year anniversary of Pretty Spiritual Podcast, we are talking about how to have fun in life. Yes, even when it feels like the end times. Even in times of global pandemic, presidential elections, and whatever other fun stuff might be happening in your personal life. Smile! But seriously, life is hard enough. How can we learn to let go of some of our seriousness? How can we be more exuberant with our lives and laughter? How can we relax and let ourselves play...even as adults? If you’ve ever tried to lighten up, you’ve probably discovered that fear and pride can keep us really invested in looking good and being right. In so many ways, fear gets in the way of our ability to play. So how do we notice when we’re taking ourselves really seriously and what can we do to let go of all that seriousness? Let’s get into it. Don't Take Life Too Seriously? Um, okay... How? There are some really good reasons we started taking life so seriously. Maybe we had to act like adults when we were children and learned to equate seriousness with safety. Perhaps we thought that seriousness and severity were good ways to protect ourselves and keep ourselves safe. And we want to honor the fact that those equations may have saved our lives when we were little.  But now as adults, these attitudes and beliefs are actually getting in the way of our lives. So how do you wake up in the moment when you find that you’re taking yourself too seriously? We have some fun suggestions. Of course, we’ve all heard that one annoying suggestion at some point or another: don't take life too seriously. (And if you were offended and slightly irritated by this suggestion, join the team!) Okay fine, even if we want to learn how to do that, where do we begin? It has been our experience that the more tools and resources we have, the greater the chances we can wear the world like a loose garment. How to Have Fun in the Thick of It As Suzuki Roshi once said of the spiritual path: “What we are doing here is so important, we better not take it too seriously.” So let’s learn how to laugh kindly about ourselves and our lives even when we’re in the thick of it. Want to learn how to laugh more? Or how to have a sense of humor about yourself? That’s right, friendies. It’s time for spiritual tools. Let’s pick up some tools that help us be lighthearted when we're in transition or life feels stressful, heavy, serious and overwhelming. For the record, not taking ourselves too seriously doesn’t mean we dismiss or undermine our own experience. Before we can start to not take life so seriously, we usually need to learn how to soften into the experience of suffering we’re having. We often need to learn to be kind with the fear or tightness we’re feeling in order to love ourselves into healing. We can appreciate the gravity of circumstances or situations while still maintaining a cheerful attitude.  And by the way, if you're struggling with mental health issues or trauma, we really want you to trust yourself and take your healing seriously. Please get your sweet, tender self all of the help you need. If you’re struggling with that first step, please get in touch with us so we can support you with encouragement, accountability, and love. Spiritual Tools to Have Fun with Life Let’s get those tools. First of all, attitude is a choice. OMG, how annoying is that! Sometimes the fastest way to have a shift in attitude is to watch our thinking. Having the container of awareness gives us the space to witness ourselves and our thinking. Because, just, wow. It’s nonstop comedy gold up here, people.  Ready to take your one-person comedy act on the road? Chances are you can lighten up by sharing all that serious thinking with another person. Letting safe people into the obsessive or self-centered thinking helps us remember we’re not alone. Plus, sometimes just saying the thoughts thinking out loud can make so much room for our sense of humor. Another tool that helps us so much is curiosity. What changes when we can get curious about our experience? Being of service to others is also such a powerful way to get out of ourselves and feel good about the lives we’re living. And hey, just to be clear, we are always advocating for service with boundaries. And just a casual shout out to God or gawd or goddess or whatever name works for you. Can we surrender our controlling and managing to something greater than ourselves? Especially something that cares deeply for us and is taking care of us at all times? This kind of trust in the process can help us relax into the flow of the present moment. Say a prayer to whatever speaks to your heart. Play Is a Real Spiritual Tool Ready for the final tool? We want to suggest that you play! Wondering how to be playful? Ask yourself, where can you be silly and let loose without caring too much about getting it right or what other people think? In other words, do you have a puppy (or other fur baby) around? Please hold hands with it immediately. Get in there for some in-depth ear kisses. Aaaaaand repeat.  For even more fun ideas, check out the spiritual resources on our tools page. Come on, y’all. Join the fun and discover for yourself why laughter is good for the soul. Find us on Instagram, Twitter, Facebook, Insight Timer, Google Play, Spotify, Soundcloud, Podbean, and Stitcher (or our Contact page) and share your feelings, thoughts, and anything else! Thanks for listening to our spiritual podcasts. We love ya!

The Benefits Of Self Awareness Welcome back to Pretty Spiritual Podcast. So glad we can be together for today’s topic: self awareness. First off, what is self awareness? We love this simple definition: being self aware means knowing what we’re doing when we’re doing it.  We’re going to look at questions like, why is self awareness important? What happens when there are parts of our lives that are below the level of awareness? How do we check out and dull our awareness? And what tools can help us start to bring these habits and patterns into conscious awareness?  Self-awareness is often the link between our emotional lives and our actions. In other words, when we are practicing self-reflection, we have a choice about how we act. And, conversely, lack of self awareness can mean that we cause harm to ourselves and others. The unacknowledged parts of our lives can cause us great fear we don't even know exists. And this fear can actually drive our impulses and actions. And when we’re stuck in patterns or habits that are causing harm, we’re usually acting out and repeating dysfunctional learned behaviors. Chances are, we all know what it’s like to be caught in a cycle of addictive numbing or checking out. While more self-awareness can help us feel better longterm, it can often feel worse in the shortterm. Why? Well, we’re getting a front row seat to the patterns we’re not yet able to shift or change. If this is where you’re at and it feels like too much, don’t worry! This is just the first phase. With continued effort, the space to choose will open up. And often it feels like a moment of grace when it does. Self Reflection Changes Our Behavior We know this might sound obvious, but we’re going to feel stuck until we are aware. Maybe self awareness will start to infiltrate our lives for brief moments. And we can’t help but be unaware of the stuff that’s still below the level of consciousness. That’s okay, too! When we are stuck in patterns for long enough, we become willing to open our hearts and minds to a new experience.  Self reflection is the first step to changing patterns and behaviors. Once we see what we’re doing, we start to get an opportunity to make different choices. The more awareness we have of ourselves, the more space there is for us to choose.  Like so many other parts of our spiritual lives, self reflection is a muscle. The more time and energy we put into exercising that muscle, the stronger and more flexible it becomes. How can we start? If we look underneath our actions, we have an opportunity to see the attitudes or beliefs that are driving our behavior.  Especially when we’re acting on patterns we learned when we were very young, this comes down to a matter of feeling safe or being okay. For core beliefs that are deeply ingrained, learning and watching out for our triggers can be really helpful. Tools For Self Reflection And Growth  Okay, ya’ll, let’s get that wellness and spiritual healing! Here come our favorite tools for growing self reflection and gaining awareness.  Our favorite tool is the A-B-C model, which teaches us that “external events don’t cause our emotions, but our beliefs do.” A is the activating event (maybe even in the moment, if we’re super lucky). B is for the beliefs we formed after the activating event… and chances are these are old ones. C is for consequences. What was the result of these beliefs on us and others? You can get even more info on our tools page. The good news is that we have more awareness than we’ve ever had and we are exactly where we’re supposed to be. So we can relax and trust ourselves. We see more and more that we’re creating our reality and our relationships based on our beliefs. When we look at what’s going on below the surface, we get the opportunity to live more authentically. Maybe it can even help us be softer and easier on ourselves and others.  Plus, reflecting with other people (especially spiritual besties) can help to introduce new perspectives and information. There might just be a different way to look at something! (Fingers crossed.) Also, we want to put in a plug for positive self affirmation. What if the practice of doing this helps bring old ideas and beliefs to the surface and helps us choose a new perspective? The key to all of these spiritual practices? Repetition. Meditation As Self Reflection  Finally, meditation is a forever tool that helps us to be aware in truly miraculous ways. It can literally change our brains and create space between our feelings and what comes after them. Maybe we can just trust that the process is happening according to plan. When it’s time for the self-awareness to blossom, it will probably feel like grace. When meditation is a daily habit, it actually creates new neural pathways in our brains. The more we practice, the more ingrained they become in our brains. This means that the more we repeat a practice, the more available it will be in the midst of our lives. The state of open awareness that we practice in meditation gets carried over into our busy, full lives.  The power of meditation can actually break through our habitual modes of dissociation. This means that self reflection can change our relationship with the stuff that’s still below the level of self awareness. It works on us even before we realize it. And often, we only see it when it shows up as grace in our lives. And, hey, when all else fails, putting thoughts and motives to paper can help us see what’s going on underneath. Writing is an incredible tool for self introspection. So take a few minutes to write about your thoughts and feelings. See what you’re believing about your sense of self and maybe some new perspectives will open up. Maybe we can love the person who's here right now. What tools are you using to grow self awareness and practice self reflection? Please share them with us! Find us on Instagram, Twitter, Facebook, Insight Timer, Google Play, Spotify, Soundcloud, Podbean, and Stitcher (or our Contact page) and share your feelings, thoughts, and anything else! Thanks for listening to our spiritual podcasts. We love ya!

The Pains Of Spiritual Healing Welcome back to Pretty Spiritual Podcast. We’re so happy to be back together. Today, we’re talking about spiritual healing and spiritual growing pains.  Okay, wait what does that even mean? Truth is, we’re not totally sure. But here’s what it feels like to us to have these emotional growing pains. We’re not who we were before but we’re not yet where we want to be.  Usually, our brain has a lot to say about spiritual growing pains. It tells us stuff like, “you should be past this” or “you should be farther along.” Maybe it even tells us that people are tired of us going on and on about what we’ve been struggling with. Eventually, we start to feel like our “slow” spiritual growth is some kind of burden.  So that’s the topic. We’re going to dive in and see if we can find a way to be with today’s spiritual healing in a way that is loving and tolerant. What’s it like to be in the in-between place when it comes to emotional growth? How can we learn to love and accept the messy, work in progress we are right now? What Does It Mean To Be Spiritual? It’s normal and okay to be uncertain or scared or extra stressed sometimes. Plus, it makes sense that sometimes those feelings come up on our spiritual journey. We can’t always see where we’re going, why we’re in the place we are today, or how we’re growing into the people we’re becoming.  And we’re never sure, but maybe what it means to be spiritual is to practice patience (and even gratitude?) for the people we are at this very moment. One way that we can gain a little perspective is to look at where we’ve been and where we are today. We can actually zoom out, using tools like writing, to appreciate how far we’ve come.  And the great news is that we are not stuck. We are not supposed to be better or know better or do better. Our best, right now, is exactly as it should be. Spiritual healing is a slow process. We’re working to shift lifelong attitudes and behaviors. It makes sense that these changes should happen slowly, sometimes so slowly that we’re not sure we’re even still growing in spiritual maturity.  And it’s normal that we want to be further along than we are. Of course, sometimes we all want to suddenly just be “better” and be rid of all the squirmy, uncomfortable stuff we’re working with now. So many of our spiritual growing pains come from resistance to being who we are and where we are, just for today. Tools For Spiritual Healing And Growth  Thank gawd, it’s time for tools! Spoiler alert: we’ve got no shortcuts. We’ve got no quick fixes. And when your first spiritual tool is patience, that’s when you know you’re really in trouble! Want to learn how to heal yourself? We love what Lindsay says about following spiritual breadcrumbs back to the heart. Yes, we can always take small, daily actions that lead us home to our own loving hearts and the safety and acceptance available in this big, old universe.  When we feel stuck in our spiritual development, we can trust the process. How do we do this? By just showing up for the full, spiritual life we have right in front of us. There are things that help us let go and soften into the experience we’re having right now. We can tell the truth about where we’re at to safe people. And we can ask for encouragement in safe relationships when we need it. We can trust our friends and rely on our support systems. We also know from our own experiences that we can tolerate more discomfort in our spiritual life. Why? Because loving ourselves through the process helps us tap into the great strength of the universe. What tools and strategies work for you when you’re struggling with spiritual healing? Please share your experiences and tools with us. Find us on Instagram, Twitter, Facebook, Insight Timer, Google Play, Spotify, Soundcloud, Podbean, and Stitcher (or our Contact page) and share your feelings, thoughts, and anything else! Thanks for listening to our spiritual podcasts. We love ya!

How To Deal With Overwhelm Today on Pretty Spiritual Podcast, we’re talking about what it's like to be stuck in a state of anxious overwhelm when it comes to daily life. Feeling overwhelmed with yours? Firstly, we want to say that you’re not alone! We all have times where we are caught up in obsessive thinking or we’re barely coping with anxiety. Secondly, we want to spread the good news. We can get through it together. To start, let's look ay the ways overwhelm shows up in our lives, both emotional and physical. Often overwhelm looks like the monkey mind, spinning around on all the things we need to do (hello, looming to-do list), all the things we haven’t accomplished, and why we’re never going to be quite enough to get it all done.  The story overwhelm and anxiety tell us is that the solution to this problem is “getting things done” or “getting ourselves together” or “getting control of our life.” And yes, of course, these can be healthy ways to engage with our lives and take responsibility for what is ours to do. On the other hand, and as far as the chronic state of overwhelm goes, these beliefs can actually keep us trapped. So what happens if we engage with overwhelm in a new way? Instead of getting hooked by the story and trying to control life by getting things done, what happens when we look underneath or beyond the anxiety of feeling overwhelmed?  What Is Anxiety Trying To Tell Us? That's why we want to use this episode as a chance to invite overwhelm in for a nice cup of coffee with gingerbread eggnog creamer (shoutout Kitu!). That is to say, we want to see what it has to show us or share with us about ourselves. For example, we'll ask ourselves questions like these: Why is overwhelm here right now?  What caused or created this feeling?  How has this served me in the past?  What are the causes and conditions in my life that are giving rise to this emotional state? What am I believing about myself that’s creating this? For instance, many of us experience overwhelm as a natural result of growing into adulthood with leftover anxiety from our childhood. Those broken core beliefs often hide inside us. As a result, we might feel compelled to stay one step ahead of life and try to control the outcomes. These old coping mechanisms helped us to find safety in unsafe situations as children. But chances are, they're no longer serving us as adults.  Certainly, big life changes can also carry a heavy dose of overwhelm. When things feel too big to manage, fear can take over and we can get stuck in overwhelm. Tools For Anxiety And Overwhelm  Finally, it's time for tools. We're so grateful to have spiritual tools and practical tips to help us navigate the overwhelming parts of life! Ella, Annie and Lindsay Poni (aka your spiritual best friends) talk about what we're doing to move through overwhelm. Maybe even with a little grace. In other words, we'll talk routines, how to even notice if you’re stuck in overwhelm, meditation as a tool for overwhelm, and so much more.  Above all, we hope you join our conversation! As with all of our topics, we’re constantly learning new things and changing as we go. And we bet you are, too. If you get inspired, we’d love to hear from you.  In conclusion, we want to know what tools and strategies work for you you're feeling overwhelmed? Please share your experiences and tools with us. Find us on Instagram, Twitter, Facebook, Insight Timer, Google Play, Spotify, Soundcloud, Podbean, and Stitcher (or our Contact page) and share your feelings, thoughts, and anything else! Thanks for listening to our spiritual podcasts. We love ya!

How To Create Healthy Relationships On a special episode of Pretty Spiritual Podcast, we’re talking about spiritual tools in love relationships. It’s only in really intimate relationships that we are seen in all our moods and aspects. In other words? There’s no hiding the parts of ourselves that we don’t like or that we’d rather other people not see. So join the fun as we share the relationship-building tools that help us be our best selves in romantic partnerships. We’ve all had our relationship problems. In fact, many of us don’t naturally know how to maintain healthy relationships. Yes, we hear that communication in relationships is the number one thing, but so many of us don’t even know where to start. Good news, we don't have to do it perfectly. One place we can start is by asking ourselves what we are looking for in our love relationships? If we’re honest, many of us are looking for some magical person who will somehow meet all of our needs. Or maybe we’re looking for worthiness or certainty or self-esteem. So many of us have unspoken contracts that we bring into romantic relationships without ever communicating this to our partners. If we don’t realize we’re even doing this, we’ll be left wondering why they’re frustrated. So fun for everyone! Maintaining Healthy Relationships It turns out that the love relationship we’re in is often a mirror for the relationship we have with ourselves. What broken core beliefs are we believing about ourselves? How are we letting these co-create the reality we’re experiencing in our relationships? Want to learn how to make a relationship work? It’s time to talk spiritual tools, thank the goddess. We can start by looking at ways to take 100% ownership of our own needs and feelings. If our needs can’t be met in our romantic partnership, can we take full responsibility for getting our needs met elsewhere? It turns out that feeling loved isn’t about having a relationship with another person. It’s something that’s up to each of us to find. What are the vital spiritual connections that sustain us? It's our joyful responsibility to find out! There are a few other things that help us have reasonable expectations about what being in a love relationship is actually like. We’re not always going to have a shared understanding of reality. As it turns out, conflict is really normal and that healthy conflict actually helps our relationships grow.  All The Tools You Need  If we’re really used to unhealthy relationship dynamics, healthy relationship behaviors can feel really counterintuitive. This is especially true is we’re still operating from old or broken beliefs about ourselves and others. A positive relationship requires that we find and work with all those inherited beliefs that caused the dysfunction in the first place. Where can we find these old core beliefs? We can look at the times we’re pulling to be rescued, playing the victim, or playing the martyr. We can look at our habitual relationship defenses, be honest and kind about what we find, and attempt to put down our armoring. And hey, we can always try not to take ourselves so damn seriously! We can always role-model how we want our partners to treat us by treating them that way. If we feel safe, we can try to soften and be vulnerable instead of armoring ourselves. We are shoulder to shoulder, not toe to toe. And hey, when all else fails, a little gratitude can save the day! Loving someone can be hard, but spiritual tools make it easier and more rewarding. What are the spiritual tools that you use in your relationships? Please share your experiences and tools with us. Find us on Instagram, Twitter, Facebook, Insight Timer, Google Play, Spotify, Soundcloud, Podbean, and Stitcher (or our Contact page) and share your feelings, thoughts, and anything else! Thanks for listening to our spiritual podcasts. We love ya!

What Is Spiritual Bypassing? This time on Pretty Spiritual Podcast, we’re going to dig into a topic close to our hearts: spiritual bypassing. First off, what is a spiritual bypass? John Welwood coined this term to talk about a trend he observed in spiritual communities. Spiritual bypassing is when we “use spiritual ideas and concepts to sidestep or avoid facing unresolved emotional issues, psychological wounds, and unfinished developmental tasks.” Often, we fall into the trap of spiritual bypassing when we are in the thick of our messy, human process and we don’t love how it’s looking to others or to ourselves. Maybe we think it’s too much or not allowed or taking too long. We discard the messiness of the human process in favor of something that we think will look better to us or others.  We turn to this because we don’t accept the person who is here today or the experience we’re having. It’s not okay for some reason. Spiritual bypassing is actually a valid tool to pick up when we don’t have the capacity to bear the discomfort of the feelings underneath. Often, we use spiritual bypassing as a shield. It’s a way to protect ourselves from stressful stuff, like our true self and vulnerable work that needs our attention. By avoiding the shadow work that is calling for us, we also avoid growing. Letting Go Of Judgement It makes sense that we pick this up as a tool. It actually turns out that spiritual bypassing is a necessary stage of human spiritual development. If you’re seeing signs of this tendency in yourself, you are definitely on the spiritual path! Way to go, fellow travelers. We are cheering for you and ourselves! So what are some common forms of spiritual bypassing? Some manifestations we have noticed are things like an overly positive focus. Everything is great and complaining is bad and I’m happy and grateful all the time! Or maybe you fall into a different trap like self-deprecation. When we make ourselves bad or wrong, that’s its own kind of bypass. It keeps us from looking at what’s really here when we appraise ourselves accurately. Another popular side step happens around anger, especially for women since so many of us are caught in the trap of believing that anger isn’t spiritual. Or that if we were perfect or spiritual enough, then we’d never get angry.  John Welwood goes on to say this: “When we are spiritual bypassing, we often use the goal of awakening or liberation to rationalize what I call premature transcendence: trying to rise above the raw and messy side of our humanness before we have fully faced and made peace with it.” And it’s only when we go through the real and messy stuff that we find healing and relief. It turns out that life is messy and being a human is hard. So what can we do to love ourselves through this phase of our spiritual growth and development and be true to self? How can we let go of how we think it should look and get on board with what’s actually happening? Are you stuck in bypass mode and wondering how to find yourself? Where is the authentic person who is struggling with the unavoidable messiness of human life? We need those spiritual tools. Get The Tools You Need  Time to get those tools! Yes, spiritual bypassing is a tool in itself. But what spiritual tools can we pick up when this one no longer serves us? One helpful thing is to turn toward authenticity. Be who you are, messiness and all. We can learn to be authentic in the moment, whatever that looks like. We can trust that we’re supported enough to feel our feelings and be honest with ourselves about what’s going on inside of us.  Want even more tool that can help with finding yourself? We love meditation as a grounding tool. When we are grounded and feeling emotionally safe, there’s naturally more room for all the emotions to arise and be felt. Meditation helps us create space to experience all of what’s right here right now, including anger, resentment, fear, and judgement. We also like spiritual inquiry. Ask yourself questions like, what action requires the most faith right now? We can invite the shadow self into this exercise, fears and all. Ask your whole being, what would I do if I weren’t afraid? Ask the questions and listen for the whisper of the universe.  Please get in touch and let us know what your experience  is with spiritual bypassing and what works for you. Please share your experiences and tools with us. Find us on Instagram, Twitter, Facebook, Insight Timer, Google Play, Spotify, Soundcloud, Podbean, and Stitcher (or our Contact page) and share your feelings, thoughts, and anything else! Thanks for listening to our spiritual podcasts. We love ya!

What Is Emotional Regulation? This time on Pretty Spiritual Podcast we’re delving into the topic of emotional regulation. How do we make sense of and work with huge feelings without hurting ourselves? Can we start by dipping our toes into the unfelt feelings we think might destroy us? Rather than getting swept up helplessly by the big feelings, how can we learn to be active participants in our emotional lives?  If you’ve had a confusing relationship with your feelings, this episode is for you. No, we don’t have any final answers, but we do have our own experience and a bunch of helpful tools. Join us in episode 41, as we talk about self regulation of feelings as an act of self love. Maybe you’re wondering, what is emotional regulation? We’ll definitely get there. But first, let’s start with emotional dysregulation. What does that look like? Feelings come up, we push them away, try not to feel them by disassociating from our bodies, and then the feelings get lost somewhere in our bodies, only to come out sideways. When emotions come out in big ways, we might take them out on the people around us. Other times, these feelings might collapse us inside ourselves and run our whole lives for hours or days. So how do we Self Regulate? When we try to keep ourselves from feeling our feelings, we are setting ourselves up for emotional dysregulation. When we push away or avoid feelings, we get more and more disconnected from ourselves and the reality around us. But the feelings still need to be felt. Eventually, the unfelt feelings flood us.  Ugh, feelings. We all have them and yes, maybe we begrudgingly agree that it would be good to feel them (however people do that!). But what if we’re not sure where to start? How do we dip our toes into the big stuff without being overtaken by the feeling tsunami? Okay, now we’re ready to answer the question, what is self regulation? It’s the “ability to respond to the ongoing demands of experience with the range of emotions in a manner that is socially tolerable and sufficiently flexible to permit spontaneous reactions as well as the ability to delay spontaneous reactions as needed.” Now let’s look at some of the tools that can help us get there. Annie has some especially helpful tools for self regulation in situations that involve trauma feelings. We can learn to experience small doses of the emotional life that threaten to explode outward onto other people or collapse us into ourselves. Get the Tools You Need  We especially love this tool called emotional sequencing. It’s simple, just look at the things around you, name one object and its color. Do that three times. Then name these objects and their colors backward. Instead of getting lost in feelings, this tool brings our brains and bodies to the present moment and the more evolved part of our brains. Hooray for the prefrontal cortex!  And here are some life tools you can try whenever. They are simple ways we can make friends with and take gentle care of the overwhelm. When we’re healing from the big stuff, we don’t have as many resources to cope. Okay, here’s a simple but mind-blowing tool: do less! Have one social engagement a day. Rest a lot. Plan self-care for emotional encounters with triggering people. Prayer and meditation are also so helpful. We're learning to take care of our internal experience without closing down our hearts to others. It helps us to share with safe people what’s happening with our feelings. When we can say it out loud, we make more space for our experience. Still want more? If you want to see all the Annie tools, send us a message on our contact page and we’ll forward them to your inbox. Thank you to our sweet listeners for writing in with comments and suggestions and stories. We are so healed by the one-on-one connections that our shared vulnerability makes possible. Again, if you want even more self regulation skills, get in touch with us and we’ll share all the other great tools Annie has used in her PTSD journey. Then get in touch and let us know what you about emotional regulation and what works for you. Please share your experiences and tools with us. Find us on Instagram, Twitter, Facebook, Insight Timer, Google Play, Spotify, Soundcloud, Podbean, and Stitcher (or our Contact page) and share your feelings, thoughts, and anything else! Thanks for listening to our spiritual podcasts. We love ya.

How To Have A Spiritual Experience Today on Pretty Spiritual Podcast, we’re talking about spiritual awakenings. If you feel overwhelmed or confused or intimidated, we can totally understand. We weren’t sure what people meant when they talked about spiritual experiences until it happened to us. No, a spiritual awakening doesn’t necessarily involve a white light, burning bush, or celestial fanfare. (But no disrespect if it did... in fact, we might get a little jealous!) It turns out we get to decide for ourselves what constitutes a spiritual awakening. Since we get to make sense of our own spiritual life, there’s no one path to our personal destination. For some of us, these moments are dramatic and well-defined. And for others, they might be slow and almost imperceptible changes. A spiritual awakening can feel like a big moment or a slow change over the course of our lifetime. What Is Spirituality? In episode 40, we’ll share our personal experiences with spiritual awakenings. They look different for each of us, which means they’ll probably look different for you. It can feel a little unnerving to suddenly realize that making sense of spirituality is up to us. But isn’t it also kinda cool? This means that your spiritual journey is specially tailored to your unique sensitivities, sense of humor, and personal understanding. One of our favorite things is the sweet feeling of an inside joke with a higher power all our own.  So if you’re struggling to make sense of your own spirituality or feeling far away from what used to feel sacred, we can relate. We hope that this episode can help spark some curiosity or connection inside your heart. Finding The Path Forward  When we’re searching for spiritual connection, it can help to hold questions or inquiries open to the great goodness in the universe. We love questions like these: Where does it feel safe and warm? What moves you? Where do you feel like the universe is giving you a little wink? When do you feel the most present and alive? What does your heart or spirit long for? What helps you feel the most at home with life? You can trust yourself to find the path. If you’re looking for a spiritual experience, we encourage you to ask questions (or, dare we say, "pray?") Then, listen for answers to those questions (we hear some people call this "meditation"). The universe might whisper, so listen carefully. You’re asking yourself, what is spirituality? But maybe a more answerable question is: what is spirituality to you? Search inside yourself and see what you find! Then get in touch and let us know what spiritual awakening means to you. How does spiritual experience show up in your life? Please share your experiences and tools with us. Find us on Instagram, Twitter, Facebook, Insight Timer, Google Play, Spotify, Soundcloud, Podbean, and Stitcher (or our Contact page) and share your feelings, thoughts, and anything else! Thanks for listening to our spiritual podcasts. We love ya!

How To Stop Being Jealous This time on Pretty Spiritual Podcast, we tackle the swamplands of jealousy. (Remember how we felt about self-pity?) It's going to be a little cringey. Don’t worry, us too! In episode 39, we’ll look at this feeling, investigate its common causes, and see what it has to teach us about ourselves. Wondering how to overcome jealousy? Come join the party! Jealousy is one of those emotions that’s so hard to look at directly because it can feel toxic for so many of us. But today we’re going to try something new. What if we treat jealousy like it’s just another intelligent emotion pointing us toward something that needs our attention? What can we learn from this feeling about ourselves and our needs? It’s a tall order, but here we go. What Is Jealousy? To start, what is jealousy? Here’s what Psychology Today had to say by way of a definition: “Jealousy is a complex emotion that encompasses feelings ranging from fear of abandonment to rage and humiliation. It strikes people of all ages, genders, and sexual orientations, and is most typically aroused when a person perceives a threat to a valued relationship from a third party. The threat may be real or imagined. Not limited to romantic relationships, jealousy can also arise among siblings competing for parental attention, among co-workers, or in friendships.” So, why is it so hard to just say the words I’m jealous? Why is it so hard to own our feelings in a loving way that doesn’t punish us or the people who have triggered this feeling in us? That’s where all the stickiness comes in. Before we start thinking about how not to be jealous, we have to acknowledge the top internal causes of jealousy. And pretty much all of them have that familiar swampy feel.  Why Am I So Jealous? Wondering, why am I so jealous? Here are the top five reasons: low self-esteem (LOL, duh?), neuroticism (oh good!), feelings of insecurity and possessiveness, dependence on your partner, feelings of inadequacy in your relationship, and an anxious attachment style (a chronic fear that your partner will abandon you or not love you enough). So much fun! Are you experiencing jealousy in relationships? Often this feeling can interrupt intimacy, both with our true selves and the people we love. If you’re wondering how to stop being jealous, we’ve got a few ideas to share. Firstly, feelings are not facts! What happens when we’re finally willing to witness our feelings without believing that they represent reality? What is it like to look underneath the jealousy for the emotional states that gave rise to this feeling? This is where we really learn how to get over jealousy. And spoiler alert: it’s an inside job. What’s jealousy like in your life? Please share your experiences and tools with us. Find us on Instagram, Twitter, Facebook, Insight Timer, Google Play, Spotify, Soundcloud, Podbean, and Stitcher (or our Contact page) and share your feelings, thoughts, and anything else! Thanks for listening to our spiritual podcasts. We love ya

How To  Stop Blaming Others This week on Pretty Spiritual Podcast, we’re looking at all the reasons we play the blame game.  Some of us are really quick to place the blame on others (do the words it’s all your fault mean anything to you?). For others, it can feel natural to pick up the blame that others are putting down. Don’t worry, though. We’ve got plenty of experience to go around! So how do you usually play the blame game? Are you someone who habitually makes life problems about someone else? Or maybe you do place a lot of blame, but not on others. Some of us like to place all the blame on ourselves. You might be someone who blames “god” or Fate or some other entity for all the unfortunate things that happen in life. No matter where you land on this spectrum, we welcome you to the conversation. We’ll look at all the different ways we find fault and assign responsibility. But we won’t stop there. We’ll look at all these natural tendencies so that we can identify our habits and look toward spiritual tools for growth. It turns out that blaming others is a pretty natural, human strategy. So why do we do this blame shifting? Blame Makes Sense According to psychologists, there are a few reasons we blame when stressed. Like we said, it’s a great defense mechanism. If it’s not my fault, then I don’t have to change anything about my behavior or attitudes! Duh, makes so much sense. We also pick up blame when we’re on the defensive and in attack mode.  Blame also helps us feel like we are making sense of a world we don’t often understand. It turns out we can’t always explain or make sense of the way we act or the way others act. Imputing motive and assigning responsibility is one way we try to manage a world that is outside our control.  Also, it turns out that people lie when faced with admitting failure and taking self responsibility. Why not just make something up that relieves us of any personal fault or responsibility. Yup, it makes sense. And finally, it’s easier to blame someone else than to take responsibility for your actions. Okay, we get it. Blame makes sense and we all do it. Tools For Self Responsibility Wondering how to be an adult and stop making life’s misfortune someone else’s fault? That’s where the tools come in! We’ll look at how to stop playing the blame game and start taking personal responsibility for ourselves and our lives. It turns out that the stance of self responsibility actually feels better to us. Spiritual tools can feel so counterintuitive in that way! We’ll talk about what it means to take full responsibility for the things that belong to us, as well as what it can look like to set boundaries when people blame us for stuff that actually isn’t ours. Join in the fun now to hear more about the ways we’re shifting our attitudes so that we don’t have to feel so victimized. That’s right, there’s only one thing we do get to take control of: our own attitudes and behaviors. Here’s to owning what’s ours with a sense of humor! What’s blame like in your life? Please share your experiences and tools with us. Find us on Instagram, Twitter, Facebook, Insight Timer, Google Play, Spotify, Soundcloud, Podbean, and Stitcher (or our Contact page) and share your feelings, thoughts, and anything else.

Money Matters This week your spiritual bffs are talking about money. We’ll give you all a moment to stampede away and  then another moment to let the dust settle. Anyone still with us? To those of you who are still here, get ready for the uncomfortable fun ahead! Though it’s often something we’d rather deny or avoid, we’re looking at our relationships with money in today’s episode.  More than just looking at financial stress, we’re digging deep to uncover our core attitudes about enough. Money isn’t good or bad. It’s just a mutual agreement, a neutral tool. But it’s one place our limiting beliefs and scarcity mentality can get triggered big time. We often end up assigning our core beliefs about life to our financial lives. What does this look like? Some of us with scarcity mindset think we’ll never have enough. Some of us mistake money for love. Others think that just a little more will make us feel safe. And still others are so afraid to even look at money that we bury our heads in the sand and wait for someone to come rescue us from financial responsibility.  So if the idea of looking directly at your money problems feels scary, we can totally relate. We’ve been putting this episode off for weeks now! But today we’re finally willing to look at our financial situations with some spiritual perspective and a bunch of great tools. Attitudes About Enough Are you experiencing financial stress? Does it feel uncomfortable or downright dangerous to look at the relationship you have with money and the attitudes or beliefs that sustain it? Don’t worry, we’ll walk through all the scary stuff together! After sharing a little about our own financial issues and the money behaviors that exemplify our patterns, we’ll share the tools that are helping bring this whole messy process into awareness. We’ll look at simple ways to bring awareness to our finances that will decrease anxiety and increase integrity. We’ll talk about the attitudes that help us adopt an abundance mindset rather than a fear of not enough. Join in the fun and listen now! We are always looking for more tools, so please reach out and share yours with us. What’s helping you take responsibility for your finances and look at money with a spiritual perspective? Share yourself and your tools with the spiritual community so we can all heal together. Find us on Instagram, Twitter, Facebook, Insight Timer, Google Play, Spotify, Soundcloud, Podbean, and Stitcher (or our Contact page) and share your feelings, thoughts, and anything else.

Sensitive Material Ahead Sweet friends, we want to let you know that today’s episode is a sensitive one. We’re talking about self destructive behavior and this content may be triggering for some listeners. If this episode starts to feel overwhelming or triggering, we’ve got plenty of other episodes you can check out. All we have to offer is our own experience with this topic, but if that isn’t what you need, we wholeheartedly encourage you to find the support you need. We want to reiterate that we are not experts or medical professionals. If you’re struggling with self-harm and need help, please send a text to the crisis text line at 741741. You can also call (800) 273-TALK (8255) to reach trained crisis counselors. Cycles Of Self-Destruction Do you struggle with addictive or compulsive behavior? Are there behaviors you find yourself doing that cause harm to you but that also somehow promise relief? All three of us have struggled with self destructive behavior patterns that bring momentary relief but that end up hurting our physical, emotional, and spiritual selves. If we zoom out to see the ways we are undermining or sabotaging our integrity, future happiness, self esteem, financial security, our physical bodies, most of us will be able to relate to this phenomenon. So we’re also going to include behaviors in this conversation that fit into the broader container of self sabotage. What if the way we are self harming causes injury to our integrity? Or if the destructive behaviors we do habitually cause harm to our relationships and to our self esteem? What ways do we distract ourselves from life that seem to give us relief in the moment but actually turn out to be self sabotaging in the long run? Why do people self harm? According to psychiatrists, the reason we engage in self injurious behavior is not simply to harm ourselves. When we engage in self-harm and self destruction, we are “taking extreme measures to distract [ourselves] from the challenges of daily life or attempting to release [ourselves] from unbearable mental anguish.” Moving Toward Self Soothing This is helpful information because it points to the unmet needs that are likely underneath these misguided attempts to self soothe. We can use this information to guide us toward attending to those needs. Rather than punting those unmet needs into the future with self-destructive patterns, we can turn toward what we really need: a healthy way to self soothe. We’re hoping that we’ll be able to offer some tools that can help all of us move away from these kinds of behaviors and toward self-soothing. We’ll talk about how we’ve learned to monitor and respond effectively to emotional dysregulation. Plus we’ll share some other really simple and practical tools that you can try today. We are always looking for more tools, so please reach out and share yours with us. What’s helping you with believing in yourself and trusting your inherent goodness? Find us on Instagram, Twitter, Facebook, Insight Timer, Google Play, Spotify, Soundcloud, Podbean, and Stitcher (or our Contact page) and share your feelings, thoughts, and anything else.

Going Through Changes This time on Pretty Spiritual Podcast, we’re talking about how to find our way through difficult changes in our lives. How flexible and emotionally resilient are we when adapting to change? How can we meet the small ups and downs, as well as the big life transitions, with perspective and a positive outlook? Welcome to the in-between place. Let’s get cozy! So what exactly do we mean when we talk about going through life changes? We’re talking about changes in behaviors, geographical moves, movement and change within relationships, what it’s like switching jobs or careers, the birth and death of people close to us, and all the other situations and circumstances in life subject to impermanence. Well, that’s pretty much all of it! Whether we’re ending relationships or changing careers or simply attempting to let go of old habits or ideas, there are so many times in life when we find ourselves “in transition.” In episode 35, we are neither here nor there. We’re somewhere in between. When we’re going through big changes in our lives, they’re usually easy to identify. But what about the smaller and slower changes, like incremental spiritual growth? Or the more subtle life transitions with respect to our attitudes and core beliefs? Today, we’ll dive into the liminal space in between what has just passed and whatever comes next. The human tendency is to reach for control in the midst of our wild and uncontrollable lives. But we’re finally seeing how these strategies actually cause us more suffering. This means that we’re often impatient with not knowing. This can look like planning outcomes, the experience of fear, a desire to control, feelings of regret about the past, or thinking that we know what the future should look like. So if we are going to suffer in the thick of the human experience, how can we make it as easy as possible to live and make a change for the better when we encounter life’s most difficult moments?  An Uncommon Opportunity To Grow  Recognizing life’s inherent uncertainty gives us the rare opportunity to let ourselves be carried by grace. We’ll each share about the big and little life transitions that are happening for us, as well as the spiritual tools that serve us best when coping with change. Big transitions give us the uncommon opportunity to recognize that we don’t actually know what comes next.  We’ll talk about the ways we’re attempting to be patient and trusting with the unknown. We’ll pick up tools like patience, humility, perseverance, self-responsibility, and maybe a sense of humor? Wondering how to be resilient when life throws you a curveball? We’ll share the tools and principles that help us belong to this life, especially when it’s hard. Plus, we’ll reflect on past difficulties to remind ourselves and each other that our own experience is evidence that transformation and transition can lead us somewhere unexpectedly wonderful or important. Instead of trying to figure out what happens next, what happens when we attempt to love the questions themselves? No matter what’s going on outside or around us, we do get actually get to choose how we show up to witness and care for our inner experience. Instead of being a victim of life’s circumstances, what if we practice believing that the whole universe is conspiring for our benefit? Tune in to find out! We’re always looking for more tools, so please reach out and share yours with us. What’s helping you with believing in yourself and trusting your inherent goodness? Find us on Instagram, Twitter, Facebook, Insight Timer, Google Play, Spotify, Soundcloud, Podbean, and Stitcher (or our Contact page) and share your feelings, thoughts, and anything else.

Find Your Spiritual BFFs This week on Pretty Spiritual Podcast we’re talking about lifesaving moments of spiritual friendship and encouragement. Thought we invented the term “spiritual friendies”? We actually borrowed it from the Pali phrase kalyana mitta or spiritual friend. Today, we’re lucky to have a strong sense of spiritual community in our lives. But it wasn’t always like this. When first starting out on spiritual paths, each of us experienced loneliness, fear of people, and a deep sense that we didn’t belong. We were afraid of emotional intimacy, vulnerability, and letting people get to know the real us. So in episode 34, we’re talking about the people who encouraged us to get intimate with ourselves and the ways we try to pay that that loving encouragement forward by showing up as safe friends for others.  Of course, we’ve all benefited so much from the examples of love and warmth and friendship we’ve gotten from each other. But we also know what it’s like to feel alone and question whether we belong at all. Are you struggling to create meaningful spiritual relationships in your life? Does your brain say stuff like “I don’t belong in this world”? Wondering how to be vulnerable in your relationships (and maybe also feeling a little grossed out by it at the same time)? Or maybe you’re seeking spiritual inspiration but aren’t sure where to turn. We have definitely been there. If you’re feeling alone with your humanness or on your spiritual path, we hope our experience can encourage you! That’s why we’re sharing about the experiences and friendships that helped us trust we belonged to life. We’ll talk about what friends said to us in moments where we were down on ourselves and needed help remembering that deep spiritual connection is truly a possibility for all of us.  Spiritual Friendship Is for Everyone  Join in as we share our favorite tools for growing spiritual friendships and for showing up as safe friends. No matter where you are and what spiritual path you’re on, we love you and we want to be your spiritual friends! And if you’re still searching for your spirit posse, you can try things like showing up for events at local spiritual communities, striking up friendly conversations with people who look even more uncomfortable than you, and investing in relationships that feel safe and warm.  Making friends as a grownup can be really awkward and uncomfortable. It turns out that these feelings are actually… normal? But the best part is this: the only thing you need to implement some simple tools is a willingness to show up and feel weird! So easy, right? Be gentle with yourself as you experiment with new friendships and growing your spiritual home group. If we continue offering loving acceptance to ourselves, we’ll grow in our capacity to offer it to others. We can become the safe and loving friends that the world really needs. No matter where you are on your journey, we’re so glad to be on it with you, we think you’re doing an amazing job, and we believe in you!  We’re always looking for more tools, so please reach out and  share yours with us. What’s helping you with believing in yourself and trusting your inherent goodness? Find us on Instagram, Twitter, Facebook, Insight Timer, Google Play, Spotify, Soundcloud, Podbean, and Stitcher (or our Contact page) and share your feelings, thoughts, and anything else.

How to Build Self Confidence  This week your spiritual besties are taking on the topic of self confidence. Whether you’re overly confident or tend toward lack of confidence, we hope you’ll join in. If you’re anything like us, you might vacillate wildly between the two. Or better yet, feel like both at once. Are you the most amazing piece of dumpster trash in the whole world? Or an egomaniac with an inferiority complex? Yay, you’re amongst friends! We’ll start episode 33 by sharing about the ways we used to try to get self confidence from outside ourselves. While it’s a natural place to turn for good feelings, we also found that it’s not a reliable one. Ultimately, trying to get good feelings about ourselves from the outside-in left each of us feeling worthless and thinking thoughts like, “I’m not good enough.” Even though it seems like we’re all born with natural confidence, we forget what we’re truly capable of. This happens because of our early relationships with caregivers, difficult life experiences, and feedback from the people or society around us.  If this sounds familiar, you might have a persistent internal voice that tries to undermine your confidence. Or maybe you struggle with a pervasive feeling that you’re just not enough. What can we do when our life experiences have gotten in the way of our natural belief in ourselves and our innate belonging? Learn To Believe in Yourself Let’s reclaim our real selves and learn to treat self confidence like the inside job it really is. We’re learning to meet these feelings of inferiority with powerful spiritual tools. Want to learn how to believe in yourself and tap into your inner strength? These tools are for you. We’ll share the ways we’re building the kind of self confidence that comes from within ourselves. Do you need some help learning how to like yourself and the person you are today? We’ll talk about how acting with courage and integrity allows us to trust ourselves, take more risks, and feel safe even when we mess up. We’ll focus on how taking responsibility for ourselves means we are building an intimate and trustworthy relationship with our insides. It turns out there’s a link between self confidence and humility. We agree with people when they say that humility isn’t thinking less of yourself; it’s thinking of yourself less. Living from the inside out means we’re connected to our internal guidance systems. When we spend time inside our own bodies, use tools like meditation and self-awareness to get to know ourselves, and practice believing that we can trust ourselves, the results are incredible. What if believing in yourself is just the absence of negative thoughts about yourself? Join as we practice getting to know who we really are inside and loving the person that we’ve found! We’re always looking for more tools, so please reach out and share yours with us. What’s helping you with believing in yourself and trusting your inherent goodness? Find us on Instagram, Twitter, Facebook, Insight Timer, Google Play, Spotify, Soundcloud, Podbean, and Stitcher (or our Contact page) and share your feelings, thoughts, and anything else.

Happiness Is A Choice… Wait, What? This week your spiritual besties are talking about what it’s like to choose an… attitude of gratitude. Did you just vomit a little bit in your mouth and have to swallow it? Don’t worry, we can relate. If talk of gratefulness still makes you a little queasy, we made episode 32 just for you! If you’re struggling with being grateful, we have definitely been there. What happens when we’re resisting this attitude? Often we’re judging what’s here or grasping after something we think could change how we feel.  That’s why we’re so curious about what is here when gratitude is not? And how can we prime our hearts for gratitude when they feel totally shut down? That’s right, friends. This is an honest and human account of how to choose a positive attitude when it feels like the last house on the block.  So, what is gratitude, really? Maybe it doesn’t have to feel cloying or inauthentic. How does that happen? We can search our own hearts and minds for something we can genuinely appreciate. To choose happiness doesn’t mean we pretend we’re not in pain when we are; it means that we look for what gifts might be inside the pain.  How To Be Grateful That’s why we think it’s so important to talk about how to seek gratitude when it feels really far away. We’ll share how our thinking and attitudes have changed based on gratitude practice. When we act as if happiness is a choice and we keep choosing it, we’ll find a tool to sustain us through real life. Wondering how to practice gratitude in a way that feels authentic? We love how perspective-shifting can open up our hearts to being grateful for what’s here right now.  We’ll share all of our favorite tools, including writing gratitude lists, exploring our values and intentions, and watching the way our perspective changes when we make friends with what’s here right now. It’s work to choose gratitude and it’s okay to not be happy about that! Perhaps we can look for the places in our life where we’re being stretched emotionally, spiritually, and physically as a means of spiritual growth.  Come join the fun! Find us on Instagram, Twitter, Facebook, Insight Timer, Google Play, Spotify, Soundcloud, Podbean, and Stitcher (or our Contact page) and share your feelings, thoughts, and anything else.

Let Go Of Those Painfully High Expectations Are you someone who has really high expectations of yourself and others? We can totes relate. But what happens when people don’t live up to them? If you’re anything like us (and if you’re reading this, we’re starting to suspect you are), the answer is suffering. That’s why this episode is all about noticing and releasing unrealistic ideas about how we think life should be going. They say that happiness is reality minus expectations. But the truth is that most of us don’t even realize we have them until we’re experiencing resentment or disappointment when they’ve gone unrealized. It’s not wrong to have expectations. They’re a natural part of being human. But how can we engage with our assumptions about how life should be so that we can all suffer a little bit less?  In episode 31 we look at what it’s like to notice and relinquish our unrealistic expectations about ourselves, our relationships, and our lives. Join us as we learn how expectation management can help us soften into the here and now. Are relationship expectations causing friction with people you love? We know what it’s like. That’s why we’ll share tools that help us let go of our personal agendas so we can open our hearts up to what’s right in front of us. We’ll let you know how we deal with disappointment and resentment, which are common responses to unmet expectations. Plus, we’ll get into the direct physical and emotional experience of what this process feels like in the moment. Come join the fun! Find us on Instagram, Twitter, Facebook, Insight Timer, Google Play, Spotify, Soundcloud, Podbean, and Stitcher (or our Contact page) and share your feelings, thoughts, and anything else.

What Does It Mean To Be Spiritual? This week’s episode is about what spirituality looks like when life just shows up. Instead of our usual episode routine, we're letting go into the moment and just sharing where each of us is on our spiritual path right now. In other words? We're going to relax and trust the process of spiritual growth and development.  So, what does that actually look like? We'll fill you in on the places we are struggling and how we draw on the strength of our spiritual community to keep trying. We're opening up about what it's like to just be human beings (and hopefully giving you guys permission to do that, too!)   Annie shares her grief at pet loss after putting a dog down and the struggles she's having with her jaw. She also teaches us her favorite prayer: the St Francis Prayer. And the best part? You don't need to be religious to make this prayer your new spiritual tool!  Lindsay talks about how spiritual encouragement and the power of example help her be loving and present with herself and others. Plus, she tells us about her CrossFit coffee spiritual awakening!  And Ella shares about her chronic illness grief cycle and the ways she's been self soothing with food. She'll also talk about what it looks like to practice non-attachment to feelings and staying present in her own body, especially when she doesn't want to.  Even though each of us has her own individual healing work, we draw on spiritual tools and principles to find our way through with courage, compassion, and maybe even a sense of humor! Come join the fun. Find us on Instagram, Twitter, Facebook, Insight Timer, Google Play, Spotify, Soundcloud, Podbean, and Stitcher (or our Contact page) and share your feelings, thoughts, and anything else.

This time your spiritual best friends are talking about misguided emotional dependency. It’s a word we’ve all heard before, so what does codependent mean? And more importantly, how do we notice this pattern and shift it in our lives? Wondering, what is codependency? Here are a couple of definitions we like: your mood, happiness, and identity are defined by the person you’re interacting with or you sacrifice your own needs to try to meet the needs of others. While this pattern can apply to a partner-specific dynamic, like in relationship addiction, today we’re looking at it as a broad set of attitudes and behaviors. In case you’re not sure this topic applies to you, here are some signs of codependent relationships: difficulty making decisions, difficulty identifying feelings, difficulty communicating, valuing the approval of others over your own, not knowing what you like, and fear of people.  Struggling with codependent behavior? We want to share how spiritual tools can help us get to know and trust ourselves. While there’s no immediate fix to this learned behavior, we’ve got a bunch of tools to help us get to know and meet our own needs and wants.  Wondering how to overcome codependency? We’ll share how pause, prayer, and compassionate inquiry can help us take really good care of our own lives. We also love the idea of dating ourselves! We’ll talk about fun experiments to get to know yourself with care and curiosity, the same way you’d get to know a date. Let’s can use self-awareness to show up for the most important relationship— the one with ourselves. Find us on Instagram, Twitter, Facebook, Insight Timer, Google Play, Spotify, Soundcloud, Podbean, and Stitcher (or our Contact page) and share your feelings, thoughts, and tools.

What Causes Fear?  Today we’re talking about how to overcome fear. To start, what is fear? We’ll borrow this definition: an unpleasant, often strong emotion caused by anticipation or awareness of danger. How does it look different in our minds and bodies? How do our bodies respond physically to threats? And what do we add in terms of mental anxiety, past trauma, and learned behaviors? We’ll start by looking at what causes us to feel afraid. Since it’s a natural and necessary experience, we want to use it as the wise and appropriate indicator it is. In balanced nervous systems, we have the ability to draw on appropriate responses to being afraid. These are things like fight, flight, freeze, fawn, and fatigue. But if we’ve been traumatized and have a history of living in fear, we may get stuck in disordered coping patterns. That’s why we’ll dive into fear of the future, fear of change, and the way trauma and PTSD can manifest as feeling scared (and believing these feelings represent the truth.) Even though feeling afraid is a subjective event, we hope our accounts can help you walk through your own experiences with spiritual support. Want to learn more about overcoming fear? Come join the party as we share tools that help us relate wisely and kindly to what scares us. We’ll look at how writing down a fears list can help us shift our perspective, as well as breath work that allows us to settle our bodies during difficult moments. Plus, we’ll share how saying a prayer for fear can help us wake up the deep source of compassion that lives inside our hearts.  Find us on Instagram, Twitter, Facebook, Insight Timer, Google Play, Spotify, Soundcloud, Podbean, and Stitcher (or our Contact page) and share your feelings, thoughts, and tools.

This time, we’re taking a nice, long look at avoidance behavior and tools for overcoming procrastination. Rather put off listening to this episode until later? We get it! So, what is procrastination? James Clear defines it as “the act of delaying or postponing a task or set of tasks” and calls it “the force that prevents you from following through on what you set out to do.” No matter our personal flavor, we all relate to this phenomenon. And, come on, avoidant coping makes sense. If there’s something uncomfortable to do, our brains think we can avoid the discomfort by just avoiding the thing. The problem? Our mounting anxiety, plus the lingering sense that we’re not safe and can’t trust ourselves. And then there are the mental gymnastics involved in avoidance and the fatigue that goes along with them. So, why do we procrastinate? In episode 27, we’ll open up about our histories of avoidant coping. Yes, this includes how we procrastinate around work, financial responsibility, and, our personal fave, that deep soul work. Um, can we please just do it later? Are you struggling with this behavior? Wondering, why do I procrastinate? Let’s look at how to overcome procrastination with spiritual tools. And hey, it’s okay if how to not procrastinate at all seems like too tall an order. Just for today, we can work at overcoming procrastination with the help of spiritual principles. We’ll share how transparency and accountability can help us get into action. Plus, we’ll look at action inertia and how building positive habits can support us in our daily lives. And, yeah, we’ll even address that deep soul work by looking at underlying fears and core beliefs. Find us on Instagram, Twitter, Facebook, Insight Timer, Google Play, Spotify, Soundcloud, Podbean, and Stitcher (or our Contact page) and share your experience!

Get Off Your Phones  This week, we’re looking at cell phone addiction (or dependency?). What’s happening for us when we’re watching TV while scrolling through our phones and generally not wanting to be present in actual reality?  We all know the feeling of picking up our phones to perform a discrete task and then remembering, as we put them down half an hour later, that we forgot to do that thing. We all know what it feels like to get sucked in when we’re looking at phones. Where does this screen addiction come and how is it impacting our lives?  Our shared technology addiction literally changes the functioning of our brains. Did you know that just having your phone in plain view diminishes human intelligence and cognitive functioning? Omg.   Many of us seek outwardly to fulfill our inner needs when we’re tired, empty, bored, or under-resourced. Or best yet, when we deserve it.  We think a healthier, happier relationship with phones is possible. And we’re going to look at what it takes to get off your phone and into the middle of your life. What spiritual tools can help with phone or computer addiction? And how can we come into contact with whatever's underneath the phone craving so we can actually address our true needs? Let’s start with compassion! We’ll talk about how to use the phone urges to shift our attention to present moment awareness and creativity. We’ve got some really practical suggestions for how to break up with your phone (at least for this moment). Plus we’ll share about the deeper, inner life that needs attention when we’re angling to check out or dissociate. Find us on Instagram, Twitter, Facebook, Insight Timer, Google Play, Spotify, Soundcloud, Podbean, and Stitcher (or our Contact page) and share what it's like for you!

How to Set Boundaries  This time your spiritual bffs are talking boundaries. First off, what are boundaries? Why do we need to talk about them? And how could something so uncomfortable actually help take care of us?  First, we’ll talk about how we started learning to communicate needs. We’ll focus on how to set boundaries, especially when we feel the pull of urgency and expectations. Then, we’ll look at examples of what verbal boundaries can sound like. Plus, we’ll talk about what it feels like to start taking care of ourselves with clear and direct communication. (Spoiler alert: it can feel really icky at first!) But is all this discomfort worth it? We think so. Why? Because when we take care of ourselves, we get to be free from resentment, anger, and victimization. This allows us to love not only ourselves but others as well. Asking for respect in a relationship means that we get the freedom to let others have their experience without needing to be afraid of what that looks like. Are you struggling with setting boundaries? Getting ready to have one of those hard conversations with someone who’s got you on the emotional hook? Want to learn how to take care of yourself with boundaries in relationships? Come join the party as we share our different perspectives and solutions.   It’s finally time to talk tools! What tools can we use when we’re feeling the squeeze and discomfort of saying no, ending a relationship, or defining our participation in a relationship? We’ll share the spiritual tools that allow us to take really great care of our sweet selves with emotional boundaries. As always, we’d love to hear from you about your experiences with this process. Find us on Instagram, Twitter, Facebook, and Insight Timer and tell us what it’s like for you!

Not quite sure how to trust yourself? Does the phrase, ‘trust yourself,’ seem laughable or downright dangerous? We feel ya. Many of us don’t know how to hear our gut feeling or tap into our innate intuitiveness. As a result, we spend years shoving that quiet heart whisper down and attempting to drown it out with cell phone obsession, spending money, food, substances, and straight up avoidance. In this episode, your spiritual best friends dive into the ever-elusive topic of spiritual intuition, how to trust yourself, and how to listen to your gut. We provide real time examples of what intuitive thinking looks like (or doesn’t!) in our lives. We talk about the spiritual tools and principles we are experimenting with to help us better hear our innermost truth. If you’re someone who is used to ruling your world with your head, and not your heart, learning new ways to connect your body and your mind can feel daunting. Again, we can relate! That’s because all three of us have spent years tamping down our intuitive thinking in any manner of ways–from drinking to avoidance to outright denial. What would life be like if we softened into our experience and made space for what our instincts were telling us? What is intuition and is it even possible to trust this gentle inner guidance? As we talk about our own experiences we also share our tools for connecting with intuition that range from clunky practice (a la baby giraffe legs) to quiet moments of meditation and reflection. Join us, as we investigate what it means to trust ourselves and our tender adventures along the way. As always, we would love to hear from you about your experiences with intuition.  

We hear a lot these days about the benefits of meditation. But if you’re new to the practice, you might be wondering, does meditation actually work? If you’ve been at it for a while, maybe you’re a little jaded with your mindfulness routine. What does meditation do? And why meditate, when it can be so terrifying, uncomfortable, or just plain meh to slow down and be still? In episode 23 your spiritual besties talk about the benefits of mindfulness and share our experience with the question. We’ll each talk about how we began our practice, however haphazardly. And how we learned that it’s okay to be uncomfortable or anxious when we start to be still with our body and mind.  Plus, we’ll share about the meditation techniques for beginners that helped us make a humble start at this practice. Like, did you know you can do a two-minute practice that totally counts? Did you know that you don’t actually have to have a quiet mind to meditate? Or that you don’t have to believe the thoughts you have about how your practice feels or what it looks like? Let’s applaud ourselves for our heartfelt efforts! The trying is what matters. We’ll look at the meditation tools that have shifted our perspectives so slowly and so surely. Ultimately, this is less of a how to meditate talk and more of a conversation about the benefits of meditation in daily living. We’ll share realtime examples of what meditation benefits can actually look like in the midst of our busy lives. But we’ll also include a short, breath-based practice at the end in case you’re feeling courageous and wanna try a quickie! How do you meditate? Join the convo and share the love! Find us on Instagram, Twitter, Facebook, and Insight Timer.  How do you meditate? Join the convo and share the love! Find us on Instagram, Twitter, Facebook, and Insight Timer. 

Do you get annoyed when people say that you should just let go of something that’s bothering you? It’s that little word *just.* If letting go were a matter of just doing it, surely we’d have done it by now. Heaven knows we’ve tried hard and long enough to control that process ourselves! That’s right, spiritual friendies, episode 22 is all about how to let that shit go.  Moving on from something that has been occupying our mind and our heart isn’t always a straightforward process. Often it requires frustrating attempts to release something that we just can’t stop picking up. Maybe letting go of the past seems like an exercise in spiritual futility because we watch yourself picking it back up before we’ve even finished putting it down. Been there. If you’re wondering how to let go or how to move on, we’ve got some practical and perspective-shifting tools for you. We’ll look at what happens when we shine the light of spiritual practice on the messy process of letting go. How does our experience change if learning how to let things go becomes an end in itself? We’ll share how using compassion and self-awareness to witness our emotional defaults can help us start to let go of the past and of our control strategies. It’s a gentle process, not a violent one. Most of us learn to let go not because we’ve forced ourselves, but because we finally feel safe enough. Do you have tools or experiences to share with Pretty Spiritual Podcast? You can reach us using our site’s Contact page or find us on social. Find us on Instagram, Twitter, Facebook, and Insight Timer. Come join the party! Plus, if you have questions, feedback or want to suggest a topic, we’d love to hear from you!

Dealing with Anger  Grrr! In episode 21, we’re taking a look at what causes anger and what messages this intelligent emotion might have for us. Above all, we believe feelings are a healthy and normal part of the human experience. So how can we let anger be our spiritual teacher? What would be different if we could let our anger be... spiritual? Yup, we’re really going for it! We’ll start by sharing our experiences with pent up anger and what it was like for each of us when we first started looking at how to deal with anger. Maybe you’re someone who feels angry all the time. On the other hand,  you might be someone who hasn't yet made contact with your own angry feelings. Certainly, some of us feel safer taking care of others’ feelings rather than acknowledging our own. Wondering, “why am I so angry all the time?” Let's find out together. We’ve got tools to help us acknowledge, feel, and process this emotion in a way that is positive and affirming rather than harmful and destructive. Let's look at how to stop being angry using spiritual tools like mindfulness and awareness of our unmet needs.   We can't wait to share our tools for how to deal with anger and, more importantly, how to release anger. It all starts with simple attention to what is happening inside of us.  Then we can let the emotion move through us and hopefully learn as it does. Have tools or experiences to share with the Pretty Spiritual Podcast community? You can reach us via our Contact page or find us on social media. We’re on Instagram, Twitter, Facebook, and Insight Timer. Please come join the convo. Plus, if you have questions, feedback or want to suggest a topic, we’d love to hear from you!

Finding Yourself & Loving What You Find  Today we’re talking about experience and how we relate to it. What is experience, anyway? How do we relate to what we’re thinking and to our state of mind? And is it possible to bring mindfulness and love to our relationship with self and our direct experience so that we can be okay no matter what life looks like? We sure hope so! First, we’ll share what it has been like for each of us on this inward journey. We’ll talk about the ways we’ve learned to relate kindly and wisely to our own experiences, as well as the areas where it still feels weird and hard. Then we’ll explore how our patterns of thinking can become the habitual experiences and attitudes we have of life and ourselves. And, most importantly, we’ll look at what we can do to shift into a kinder and more resilient outlook. Wondering about how to find yourself and make friends with the person you find? Want to know how to have a healthy relationship with yourself? Good news, we brought our spiritual tools with us. In our experience, all you need to begin the journey is openness to experience and an intention to be kind to yourself. We’ll talk about how to feel good about yourself regardless of life circumstances. And we’ll explore how to get to know yourself using mindfulness and compassion as your guides.  So join the fun and share your experiences and tools with us! Let us know what works for you when you want to learn how to be your own best friend. Let’s get this spiritual feedback loop going, people! You can get in touch with us using the Pretty Spiritual Podcast Contact page or find us on all the social places: Instagram, Twitter, Facebook, or Insight Timer. 

Can people change? Yes, according to neuroplasticity. And, yup, it involves a lot of work and plenty of patience. Today we’re looking at how to use spiritual tools for changing habits, patterns and behaviors that no longer serve us.  Many of us who are wondering how to change a habit can get stuck in self-loathing and aversion in the process. So normal! That’s why we especially want to talk about how we can be kind and gentle with ourselves when we’re deep in the work of acknowledging and addressing these deeply ingrained patterns. How do we cultivate an environment of loving acceptance for ourselves no matter where we are in the cycle of breaking habits?  Are you trying for a change of habit? Wondering how to break a habit you’ve been struggling with? We’ll share what it looks like in real time when we’re working to unlearn outdated patterns.  So, how long does it take to break a habit? Some studies suggest just over two months. This means it might be possible to form new, healthy habits faster than you think. How? We’ll share how conscious reminders can help us in the midst of changing habits that cause harm. And, of course, we’ll need some tools! We’ll share how we make use of tools like faith in our own experience, trust in the process, and humility to be right where we are today.  What behavior changes are you working on right now? What helps you when you’re struggling with how to change behavior and habits that just aren’t working for you anymore? Please join the party and share your tools and experiences with us. You can get in touch with us using the Pretty Spiritual Podcast Contact page or find us on all the social places: Instagram, Twitter, Facebook, or Insight Timer. 

Today we’re talking about how to live in the moment. There’s a lot of talk about how to be present and live in the now. Is this just some new agey, feel-good jargon or is it an actual spiritual reality that’s possible for each of us to practice with moment by moment? (We’re sure hoping for the latter!) If we believe that living in the present is a possibility, how do we actually do that? How do we be present when life gets really uncomfortable and hard? We’ll start by talking about disassociation. What does it feel like when we’ve left our bodies and hearts? Why do we check out? We’ll share how we check out from the present moment and why it can feel so hard to just stay in the now. If living in the present is so hard, why do we think it’s a worthwhile practice? And even more importantly, what spiritual tools help us build our presence muscle and bring us back to this moment when we notice we’ve left?  If you’re wondering how to be present or how to enjoy life more, we hope these tools can work for you, too. We’ll share how they’ve helped us and what it looks like to pick them up in daily life.  And of course, we want to know what you think and feel about how to live in the present. What’s it like for you? Please share your tools and experience with the Pretty Spiritual Podcast community. You can reach us by visiting our website’s Contact page. We’re also all over the interwebs. Reach out via Instagram, Twitter, Facebook, or Insight Timer. Please come say hi. Plus, if you have questions, feedback or want to suggest an episode topic, we’d love to hear from you!

This week, we’re grappling with acceptance. Wondering, “what is acceptance?” We’ll start off episode 17 by sharing how we make sense of this spiritual principle, what we think it is and what we’re pretty sure it’s not. Then we’ll each share our personal struggles with how to accept things as they are. We’ll dig in and talk about the reasons acceptance can feel so counterintuitive and problematic for so many of us. Spoiler alert: accepting something doesn’t mean we like it or condone it. It’s just the spiritual stance that means we’re intent on facing reality rather than fighting it. Firstly, we’ll each talk about some struggles we’ve had with the topic and how it continues to come up in our lives. Just in time, we’ll lay out some of the spiritual tools that are helping teach us how to let go and accept life and ourselves just as we are right now. Having trouble with how to accept yourself and love who you are? Wondering how to let go of your expectations of yourself, others and reality? Or maybe you’re struggling with how to like yourself in the midst of non-acceptance? Wherever you’re at in the tango with acceptance, we invite you to participate in the conversation. Most of all, we want to hear about your own struggles and victories with the topic. Let us know how you’ve learned to love yourself and accept yourself in this very moment. Have something else to share with us or the Pretty Spiritual Podcast community? You can reach us by visiting our website’s Contact page or find us on social media. We’re on Instagram, Twitter, Facebook, or Insight Timer. Please come say hi. Plus, if you have questions, feedback or want to suggest an episode topic, we’d love to hear from you!

We talk about prayer kind of a lot. So if you’re wondering why, what is prayer, or how to pray, we made episode 16 to start a conversation with you! We want to open up the conversation about prayer so that it can include everyone. Whether you use prayer to talk to god or consider yourself an atheist or agnostic, we’ll share how we believe this spiritual tool can work across the board. At the end of the day, maybe it doesn’t matter if you want to know how to pray to god or just how to connect to yourself on a deeper level. We believe that the power of prayer can come alive for all of us, no matter what we do or don’t believe in. So join in the fun as we talk about how our relationships with this tool have changed over the years. We’ll also share our favorite practical and healing prayers, in case they might be helpful to you. What’s your relationship with prayer like? Come join the conversation and let us know about your beliefs and experiences xo

Stop Self Victimization  We’re looking at the weird and sticky topic of self-pity. We’ll start by asking: what is self pity? If you’ve been stuck in a chronic cycle and want to learn how to stop feeling sorry for yourself, come join our spiritual pity party. We’ve got a whole bunch of experience with this topic. More importantly, we have suggestions that have helped us find our way through. In other words, we've got spiritual tools like compassion and mindfulness. To start, we'll talk about our own difficulties with this sometimes toxic-feeling experience. And, of course, we’ll spend some time sharing the spiritual tools that help us through.  If you’re someone who struggles with the experience of victimhood, please come join the convo! We want to appreciate self pity for the intelligence and information it has without getting stuck in its goop.  What if we treat self victimization as a misguided attempt to care for ourselves, rather than something shameful and gross to look at? Let’s see how our thoughts and feelings about ourselves shift when we treat our suffering with care and tenderness. Our tools can help you be kind to yourself and listen to yourself in order to see what the self pity might be trying to communicate. Do you struggle with feeling sorry for yourself? Tell us what self pity is like for you and share what's been helping. It’s a BYOP party and everyone is invited. Do you have tools or experiences to share with the Pretty Spiritual Podcast community? Please say yes. You can reach us via our Contact page or find us on social media. We’re on Instagram, Twitter, Facebook, and Insight Timer. We seriously need your tools, people. Plus, if you have questions, feedback or want to suggest a topic, we’d love to hear from you!

Wondering how to calm anxiety and stress in your life? In episode 14 your spiritual bffs dive into the topic headfirst. Most of us have stress in our lives, so how can we learn to make friends with it? We’ll talk about ways to deal with stress and let you know about our most effective stress management techniques. We’ll focus on in-the-moment meditation and mindfulness for anxiety and stress. Plus, we’ll also share where we’re struggling with stress reactions and what it looks like to pick up spiritual tools in the midst of the big and little stressors. Do you suffer with chronic stress? Let us know what it’s like for you and what has been helping! xo

In Episode 13, your spiritual bffs dive into the topic of forgiveness. What is forgiveness? Many of us struggle with the misconception that forgiving someone who’s hurt us means we condone what they did. But is it as simple as forgive and forget? We’ll share about our personal experiences with how to let go of anger and heal from resentment or chronic blame. We’ll offer suggestions for helpful spiritual tools to help with this process, including a prayer for forgiveness. Are you struggling with self forgiveness? Or are you stuck in blame or resentment? Come join the convo and let us know about your experience and what has helped you move toward healing xo

Feeling blue? This time we’re talking about depression. What does depression feel like? We’ll share our personal experiences with feeling lost, hopeless, and sad. Then we’ll look at how to overcome depression, or at least make peace with it, using spiritual tools. If you’re wondering how to get out of depression or struggling with it in any way, please listen and join the conversation. Reach out and let us know about your experience with depression and what works for you so that we can all give hope to the folks who are in the thick of it right now xo

This week we’re talking about how to overcome perfectionism. Each of us share how we operate as perfectionists and where it causes suffering in our lives for us and the people around us. We’ll also talk about how perfectionism and anxiety are often connected before we dive headfirst into our spiritual tool kits. Do you suffer from perfectionism and unrealistic expectations? Let us know how you’re meeting that kind of suffering in your life and what tools are helping you be a little easier with yourself and your expectations xo

This week your spiritual best friends get uncomfortable learning how to say no. Why is saying no so hard? What are some ways to say no that respect our needs and the needs of others? We’ll dig in, looking at our personal struggles when the answer is no and sharing the tools that help us through. Join the convo and let us know about your “I said no” experience and the spiritual tools that helped you get there xo.

This time we’re talking about workplace spirituality. Is that even a thing? What does it mean to practice spirituality at work? Where are the places we can grow by praying at work? Is there such a thing as meditation at work? Is any of this even possible? We’ll get real talking about our attempts to practice patience, tolerance, and kindness at our jobs and share the tools that are working for us today.

This time we’re talking about anxiety and spirituality. Wondering how these experiences relate? We’ll each share our personal history with anxiety. Then we’ll look at how meditation and anxiety can support us to be present right here, in the middle of our lives.  We’ll talk about the unique ways we each practice anxiety meditation (including some panic attack meditation!), as well as some simple prayers for anxiety relief. If you’re struggling to find relief from anxiety or panic, we made this episode for you. Tune in and see whether these tools could work to help you, too ❤️

This time the girls are talking about routines for daily meditation and spiritual practice. We’ll each share about how we try to set ourselves up for a good day with a healthy morning routine. Then we’ll get into the tools that work best for us, including how to practice gratitude and when it makes sense for us to do meditation in bed! What kind of routine helps you with finding your spirituality? Get in touch and share your spiritual daily routine, too. Can’t wait to hear from you xo

Join us this week as we talk about self love. What even is that? We’ll start simple with self “like” and share about how self compassion can help transform our experience. Then, of course, we’ll get practical talking spiritual tools, including self love meditation tips and some ideas for effective prayers to help us like and even love who we are right now.

Today we're talking about craving. What spiritual tools help us get through cravings? How can we relate to our cravings in a way that helps us suffer less? If you're wondering how to be spiritual in the midst of intense cravings, come join the party! We'll share how prayer and meditation and other spiritual tools help carry us through. 

This time on Pretty Spiritual we get real talking about body image. We share our personal histories and difficulties with body image and eating disorders. And of course, we'll let you know about the tools that have been helping us the most. It's all about practical spirituality! Learn how we use meditation for healing, how to include a gratitude prayer in the relationship you have with your body, and how to love and accept the body you have right now. 

Your spiritual best friends discuss a beloved's passing. We ponder our own lives while talking about spirituality and death. We get real; we get silly. And we attempt to be pretty spiritual while talking about death and dying xo

This week on Pretty Spiritual we're talking about traveling. It's all about finding your spirituality and your center in the middle of a trip. So, how does that happen? We'll share about our travel meltdowns, how we try to make the most of falling apart, and what tools help us fall back together. So join us for what we do best: some good, old messy spirituality.

Welcome to Pretty Spiritual! Okay, so what do we mean by "Pretty Spiritual?" We're three women trying to use spiritual tools and principles to help navigate this messy, beautiful, human life. We'll be talking about questions like "What is spirituality?" and "Does meditation work?" and "How do you pray?" Join us each week as we share our real life experiences with spiritual tools that help us make life a little sweeter.