In this episode of More Than Roommates, Derek, Gabrielle, and Scott discuss the unique challenges and opportunities that come along with different seasons of parenting, from newlyweds to the empty nest. How can you keep your marriage strong in every season?Questions to Discuss:1. What’s your favorite season of the year? (Winter, spring, summer, fall)2. How can you keep your marriage strong in your current season of marriage and parenting?3. Regardless of the season you’re in, what are the priorities for your marriage and family?4. What can you do today in your marriage to help you finish the race strong?Scriptures:PR 15:22Luke 6:47-49John 16:331 Corinthians 7:28Phil 2:3-4Mark 10:45Eph 5:15-16Romans 12:2Hebrews 12:1-2Resources:Are You at Risk for Gray Divorce?, by Focus on the Family

In this episode of More Than Roommates, Derek, Gabrielle, and Scott discuss how to discover and celebrate the spiritual gifts God has given to both you and your spouse. How can you live on mission together, using and highlighting the gifts God has given to each of you?Scriptures:Ephesians 41 Corinthians 12Romans 121 Peter 4Ephesians 5:25-27Questions to Discuss:1. What’s the best gift you’ve ever received?2. What are your spiritual gifts?3. How can you highlight your spouse’s gifts?4. Ask your spouse how you can help them use their gifts.

Why is conflict between a husband and wife and the in-laws so common? In this episode of More Than Roommates, Derek, Gabrielle, and Scott discuss some common challenges couples often encounter with family and in-laws and discuss some ways to proactively build and reactively repair in-laws relationships.Scriptures:Ruth 1:16-17Romans 12:18Hebrews 12:14Romans 12:10Matthew 7:3-51 Peter 3:7Genesis 2:24Col 3:12-14Resources:More Than Roommates – Episode 94 – How to Be a Better Listener in MarriageMore Than Roommates – Episode 32 – The Non-So-Secret Guide to In-Law Relationships (feat. Dave Willis)More Than Roommates – Episode 21 – How Can We Have Healthy Relationships with Our In-Laws?Questions to Discuss:1. Why do in-law and family relationships often seem so fragile and challenging?2. How can you be for your in-laws and family and not against each other?3. What are some ways you can do a better job of believing the best about your in-laws instead of assuming the worst?4. Challenge: Make a commitment to consistently pray for your in-laws and family.

In this episode of More Than Roommates, Derek and Scott interview Colby and Amanda Taylor about how to stay engaged in your marriage from before you say “I Do” until “Death do us part.” We discuss the importance of focusing on the marriage and not just the wedding day and how couples can thrive long after they say “I do.”Resources:Embellished Weddings & Events – Website and InstagramThe Engaged Life – Website and InstagramReady or Knot? 12 Conversations Every Couple Needs to Have before Marriage, by Scott KedershaScriptures:James 4:6Question to Discuss:1. What’s the most outrageous thing you’ve ever seen at a wedding?2. What’s one decision you’re glad you made from day one of your marriage?3. How can you stay engaged in your marriage? What’s one thing you can do to help fight against the drift away from oneness?

In this episode of More Than Roommates, Derek, Gabrielle, and Scott talk what the Bible says about rest, the importance of Sabbath rest and your marriage, and reasons why we struggle to Sabbath. Scriptures:Exodus 20:8-11Genesis 2:2-3Mark 2:23-28MT 11:28-30Resources:Books - Practicing the Way and The Ruthless Elimination of Hurry, by John Mark ComerPodcast, More Than Roommates, Episode 62 – Your Marriage and the Unhurried Life (feat. Chris Schultz)Podcast, More Than Roommates, Episode 82 – How Does Work Affect Your Marriage (feat. Jordan Raynor)Books – Andy Crouch – The Tech-Wise Family and Amy Crouch & Andy Crouch - The Tech-Wise LifeBook - Sabbath Keeping, by Lynne BaabWebsite – 9 practices - Practicing the Way Questions to Discuss:1. How do you and your spouse do with sleep and rest?2. How often do you and your spouse set aside intentional time for rest?3. What prevents/keeps you from Sabbath rest? (i.e., pride, trust)4. What would Sabbath rest make possible in your lives, family, and marriage?

In this episode of More Than Roommates, Derek, Gabrielle, and Scott discuss one of the most important skills required for healthy marriages. We discuss why we struggle to be good listeners and what we can do about it.Scriptures:James 1:19Proverbs 18:2Romans 12:101 Peter 3:7Questions to Discuss:1. What are you listening to now (podcasts, audiobook, music)? Share with your significant other.2. Discuss with your spouse some of the reasons why you struggle to listen well? What are your biggest challenges/obstacles to being a good listener?3. What’s one step you can take to a better listener in your relationships?Resources:Podcast More Than Roommates – Episode 82 – How Does Work Affect Your Marriage (feat. Jordan Raynor)

In this episode of More Than Roommates, Derek, Gabrielle, and Scott discuss the Ashley Madison scandal and how to fight temptations in your marriage. We want you to be more than roommates and to fight for your marriage as you guard against the enemy who seeks to destroy you and your marriage.Scriptures:MT 10:26Rom 2:161 Cor 4:5PS 32:3-4James 4:1MT 5:27-301 Cor 7:281 John 1:9James 5:16Ephesians 4:26-271 Cor 6:18PR 28:13Resources:Podcast – More Than Roommates, Episode 70 – What’s the Deal (And Dangers) With Polyamory?Questions to Discuss:1. What’s a courageous step you can take in your marriage today to help strengthen it against the threat of temptations?2. Discuss with your spouse the things that tempt you. How can you help each other in this battle? How can you prayer for each other?3. This is a scary prayer, but would you be willing to pray for God to mercifully expose any sin in your life and in your marriage?

In this episode of More Than Roommates, Derek, Gabrielle, and Scott talk about how to balance time with your spouse, family, and friends. Is it possible to strike a healthy balance in how to best spend our time together and with others? Resources:More Than Roommates – Episode 49 – Made For People (feat. Justin Whitmel Earley)More Than Roommates – Episode 13 – Why We Need Healthy Friendships and Community For Our Marriage Scriptures:Genesis 2:18Hebrews 10:23-25Galatians 6:11 Corinthians 15:33Proverbs 18:24 Questions to Discuss:1. Discuss with your spouse: Who were your closest friends when you were growing up?2. What would it look like for you and your spouse to not give up, but to unswervingly pursue relationships with others?3. Discuss together: What do we need to do to help us find a healthy balance in our time together and time with friends?

In this episode of More Than Roommates, Gabrielle and Scott interview Kait & JJ Tomlin from the Heart of Dating. We have a great discussion about sex and marriage as we pepper Kait & JJ with all kinds of questions.Resources:Heart of Dating WebsiteFollow Heart of Dating on InstagramPodcast – Heart of Dating with Kait & JJ TomlinPodcast - That Sounds Fun – Sex + Dating with Kait & JJ TomlinBook – Married Sex, by Gary Thomas and Debra FiletaWebsite – Authentic Intimacy MinistryWebsite – Regeneration RecoveryPodcast – More Than Roommates – Episode 64 – Questions to Ask Your Spouse Every WeekScriptures:1 John 4:8Matthew 5:27Ephesians 5:31 Corinthians 6:18 Questions to Discuss:1. What do you and your spouse do when one person is in the mood sexually and the other is not?2. Do you have a safe space to be 100% honest with your spouse about everything in your life? Your sex life?3. What do you and your spouse need to discuss with each other from this episode of More Than Roommates?

In this episode of More Than Roommates, Derek, Gabrielle, and Scott discuss the books, podcasts, and resources that have most deeply affected their marriages. With a lot of great resources out there, we want to help you to be thoughtful about the resources that impact your marriage.  Scriptures:Proverbs 11:2Job 12:12Proverbs 13:20Resources Mentioned:The Glorious Pursuit, by Gary ThomasThe Meaning of Marriage, by Tim and Kathy KellerCherish, by Gary ThomasMarried Sex, by Gary Thomas and Debra FiletaThe Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work, by John GottmanReady or Knot?, by Scott KedershaThe Ready or Knot Prayer Guide, by Scott KedershaOutdated, by Jonathan PokludaFriends, Partner, and Lovers, by Kevin ThompsonMarried Into the Family, by Dave & Ashley WillisHold Me Tight, and Created For Connection by Sue JohnsonA Lasting Promise, by Scott StanleyUs In Mind, by Ted LoweGreater Joy Twogether, by Ted CunninghamMore Than Roommates, Episode 35 – How to Identify the Four Negative Horsemen of Communication and ConflictMore Than Roommates, Episodes 53 – Friends, Partners, and Lovers in Marriage feat. Kevin ThompsonMore Than Roommates, Episode 58 – How to Thrive in a Blended Family feat. Ron DealMore Than Roommates, Episode 43 – The Not-So-Secret Guide to In-Law Relationships, feat. Dave WillisMore Than Roommates, Episode 12 – Identifying Negative Communication PatternsWebsite & Podcast - Authentic Intimacy, Juli SlatteryWebsite & Podcast - Fierce MarriageWebsite & Podcast – Family Life TodayQuestions to Discuss:1. If you were on a deserted, and could only bring 1-2 books (besides the Bible), what book(s) would you bring with you?2. What marriage book has been most helpful for you and your spouse?3. Out of all the resources mentioned, which one will you and your spouse read and/or listen to?

In this episode of More Than Roommates, Derek, Gabrielle, and Scott discuss expectations in marriage – where do our expectations come from, what if they’re not met, and how can you exceed your spouse’s expectations? Part 2 in a 2-part mini-series on expectations.Scriptures:James 4:1Proverbs 13:121 Corinthians 7:28John 16:331 Thessalonians 5:16-18Questions to Discuss:1. When’s the last time something did not meet your expectations?2. What are the main sources of your expectations in your marriage?3. What’s something you can do today to exceed your spouse’s expectations?Resources:More Than Roommates – Episode 88 - Who Or What Most Impacts Your Marriage? Part 1 in 2-part series (feat. Ann Daly)More Than Roommates – Episode 23 – What Did You Expect In Marriage? (Part 1, feat. Jonathan “JP” Pokluda)More Than Roommates – Episode 24 – What Did You Expect In Marriage? (Part 2, feat. Johnathan “JP” Pokluda)

In this episode of More Than Roommates, Derek, Ann, and Scott talk about who or what most significantly impacts your marriage. Whether it’s other couples, what we’re entertained by, or what we follow on social media, we need to be thoughtful about who and what most impacts our marriages. Part 2 in a 2-part series on expectations.Scripture:1 Corinthians 15:33Psalm 1PR 13:202 Corinthians 6:14Romans 12:15PR 27:6PR 27:17Questions to Discuss:1. Who did you want to be like when you were growing up?2. What are the characteristics of couples who have a poor influence on marriage?3. What couples are most influencing your marriage (in a positive or negative way)?

In this episode of More Than Roommates, Ann Daly joins Derek and Scott as we discuss what to do when you’re stuck and struggling in your marriage. Even if you’re not stuck today, there are seasons of marriage when we all find ourselves stuck and just going through the motions. This would be a great episode to share with a friend who’s stuck in their marriage.Scriptures:Matthew 7:3-5Romans 12:181 Corinthians 13:4-7Proverbs 18:2Gal 6:9Resources:Book - The Freedom of Self Forgetfulness – by Timothy KellerMarriage Ministry and Resources - reengageRecovery Ministry and Resources – regeneration recoveryPodcast – More Than Roommates, Episode 57 – What To Do When You’re StuckQuestions to Discuss:1. Icebreaker - When’s the last time you were stuck in really bad weather?2. When’s the last time you and your spouse were stuck in your marriage?3. What do you do when you’re stuck and think there’s no way out?

In this episode of More Than Roommates, Derek, Gabrielle, and Scott discuss the potential dangers of money and how money can affect your marriage in both positive and negative ways. Scripture:1 Timothy 6:10Acts 5:1-11Matthew 6:21Psalm 24:1 Questions to Discuss:1. What’s something dangerous you’ve done in life?2. What do you think about the statement that we should be more afraid of the dangers of money?3. Where does money draw you offsides in your marriage?4. What are some ways you and your spouse can be more creative in how you steward your finances?5. How does your upbringing affect the way you and your spouse view money/stewardship?

In this episode of More Than Roommates, Derek, Gabrielle, and Scott discuss a story where a couple’s “secret” argument was overheard by a room of people. What would happen if others heard your arguments that take place behind closed doors? Scripture:Luke 8:17Matthew 12:36Proverbs 5:21MT 18:15-171 John 1:5-7 Questions to Discuss:1. What reality show would you and your spouse want to be on?2. What if everything you did and say was broadcast for the rest of the world to see and hear?3. How do you decide when to bring others into your marriage disagreements and conflicts?

In Part 2 in this 2-part series on marriage, divorce, and remarriage, Derek, Gabrielle, and Scott focus on remarriage, how you can help others walking through marriage challenges, and the role community can play in helping proactively and reactively strengthening marriages.Scriptures:Matthew 19:3-12Genesis 2:18-25Ephesians 5:22-331 Corinthians 72 Corinthians 6:14Matthew 5:27-32Questions to Discuss:1. Pray that God would strengthen your marriage and that God would protect you from separation and divorce.2. How can God use you and your marriage to help strengthen the marriages of others?3. Do you believe God can truly heal any marriage?Resources:Article - Revisiting Enough is Enough, by Gary Thomas

In this episode of More Than Roommates, Derek, Gabrielle, and Scott talk about what the Bible says about marriage, divorce, and remarriage and how this plays out in our marriages. This new episode will be helpful for your own marriage and as you seek to encourage friends in their marriages.Scriptures:Matthew 19:3-12Genesis 2:18-25Ephesians 5:22-331 Corinthians 72 Corinthians 6:14Matthew 5:27-32Questions to Discuss:1. Have you ever studied and discussed with your spouse what the Bible says about marriage, divorce, and remarriage?2. What are some practical steps you can take to help strengthen your marriage proactively?3. How can you do a better job of inviting others in to your conversations about your marriage?Resources:Podcast – More Than Roommates, Episode 3 – The Biblical Vision and Picture of Marriage

In this episode, Derek and Scott interview speaker and author, Jordan Raynor. Jordan is a leading voice of the faith and work movement, and in this episode we get very practical as we discuss the connection, challenges, and opportunities of work and marriage.Questions for Discussion:1. Spend some time thinking about Jordan’s statement – who do you do your work with?2. How can you not let your work/jobs negatively affect your marriage and family?3. How can you be fully present both at home AND at work?Resources:Books by Jordan Raynor – Redeeming Your Time, The Sacredness of Secular Work, The Word Before WorkWebsite – Jordanraynor.comJordan’s Podcast – Mere ChristiansBook – Every Good Endeavor, by Tim KellerScripture:Genesis 1:26-28Revelation 21Isaiah 65:17-23

 In Part 2 in a series on emotional intimacy, Derek, Gabrielle, and Scott discuss how to practically grow in emotional intimacy with your spouse. Check out Part 1 of this 2-Part series if you haven't already!  Scriptures:Genesis 2:25Galatians 6:2Ephesians 5:31-32Matthew 18:15-17Ecclesiastes 4:9-10 Resources:Podcast – More Than Roommates - Episode 80 – Fully Known, Fully LovedPodcast – More Than Roommates - Episode 64 - Questions to Ask Your Spouse Every WeekBook – Untangle Your Emotions, by Jennie AllenBook – The Voice of the Heart, by Chip DoddBook - The Naked Marriage, by Dave and Ashley WillisQuestions to Discuss:1. How do you handle an “emotional mismatch” in your marriage (when one more readily expresses/shares/shows their emotions)?2. What prevents you from being emotionally intimate with your spouse (i.e., technology, invalidation)?3. How can you create more time and space for emotional intimacy?

We don’t often talk about emotional intimacy in marriage—we get to be fully known and fully loved in marriage. In part 1 of this 2-part series on emotional intimacy, Derek, Gabrielle, and Scott discuss what it means to be emotionally intimate in marriage.Scriptures:Genesis 2:252 Corinthians 12:9-10Resources:Book – The Voice of the Heart, by Chip DoddBook - The Naked Marriage, by Dave and Ashley Willis3 Questions to Ask Your Spouse:1. Is there anything that I’m holding back from or not confessing to my spouse?2. How can we be more emotionally intimate with each other (i.e., clear out time and space for emotionally intimacy)?3. Am I providing a safe space for my spouse?

Are you and your spouse thoughtful about your views and practices about drinking/alcohol? In this episode of More Than Roommates, Derek, Gabrielle, and Scott discuss how to be more thoughtful about decisions you make about drinking and alcohol.Scriptures:John 21 Corinthians 6:121 Corinthians 10:31Ephesians 5:18Isaiah 5:22-23Questions to Discuss:1. When did you have your first alcoholic drink (if ever)?2. How can you and your spouse be more thoughtful about alcohol and your marriage?3. Have a conversation with your spouse and an age-appropriate conversation with your kids about alcohol.Resources:Christ-Centered Recovery - Regeneration Recovery & Celebrate RecoverySubstance Abuse Resources

Many of us struggle with anger in small and big ways. How does your anger impact your spouse and your marriage? In this episode of More Than Roommates, Derek, Gabrielle, and Scott discuss how anger impacts our own marriages and how anger can affect your marriage as well. Scriptures:Proverbs 15:1Ephesians 4:26-27Proverbs 21:19James 1:19-20, 4:1 Questions to Discuss:1. What are the small day-to-day things that get you frustrated?2. Do you find yourself quick to anger or slow to anger? What would your spouse say about you?3. What are the triggers that you’ve identified that make you quick to anger both in life in general and in your marriage?Resources:Book – Unoffendable, by Brant Hansen

Like it or not, our struggles affect our marriages more than we realize. In this episode of More Than Roommates, Gabrielle and Scott talk with Ann Daly about struggles, recovery, and your marriage. Because of Jesus, life change is possible for everyone and for every marriage.Scriptures:James 5:16Proverbs 28:13Genesis 2:24Galatians 1:10Romans 5:3-51 Peter 4:19Galatians 6:9Hebrews 3:13Resources:Regeneration recovery – change is possible!Regeneration Struggle Finder – What are you struggling with?Celebrate RecoveryQuestions to Discuss:1. Do you tend to identify yourself by your sin or by your relationship with Jesus Christ?2. How do your issues/challenges affect your marriage?3. What lies do you tend to believe? Who does God say you are? (Replace the lies with Truth).

In this episode of More Than Roommates, Derek, Gabrielle, and Scott discuss things we do that may seem weird to the world but allow us to be different in our marriages than the struggling marriages we all see around us. These are decisions we’ve each made that may seem unique but allow us to strengthen our marriages.Scriptures:Romans 12:21 Peter 2:11Philippians 3:20-212 Timothy 2:4Resources:Podcast & Blog Post - 5 Weird Decisions that Make My Marriage AwesomeQuestions to Discuss:1. What are the things you do in your marriage that make you different than the marriages of the world? (Romans 12:2)2. Where do you see your marriage blending in with the marriages of the world/non-Christian marriages?3. Would your non-Christian friends look at your marriage and see something unique or different?

Do you and your spouse have inside jokes, traditions, or rituals that make your marriage unique and build a culture of exclusivity in your marriage? In this episode of More Than Roommates, Derek, Gabrielle, and Scott discuss the importance of building a strong culture in your marriage that makes it different than any other marriage on the planet.Scriptures:Genesis 2:24-25Revelation 2:4Proverbs 5:18Resources:Blog Post - How Inside Jokes And Rituals Can Strengthen Your MarriageDiscussion Questions:1. What are some of your inside jokes or rituals in your marriage?2. How can you build the culture of your marriage? What are the things that are like glue that bond your marriage together?

Everyone of us struggles with temptation—even Jesus faced temptations! What are the temptations we need to avoid that can wreck our marriage? And how is marriage uniquely designed so that we can help each other flee from temptations?Scriptures:Proverbs 5Proverbs 18:8Proverbs 13:201 Peter 1:16Questions to Discuss:1. What does it look like for you to flee from temptation?2. What temptations do you face? How can your spouse help you?3. How can you move the line, magnify the consequences, and map out your escape?4. What would be helpful for you to confess to your spouse and to your community to help you with your temptations?Resources:Book - Think Ahead: 7 Decisions You Can Make Today for the God-Honoring Life You Want Tomorrow, by Craig Groeschel

On this episode of More Than Roommates, Derek and Scott have an authentic and honest conversation with Aaron Smith from the ministry Marriage After God. We discuss pornography, intimacy issues, and the challenges many couples face. Aaron and his wife Jennifer hope to inspire individuals to draw closer to God and their spouse as they chase boldly after God’s purpose for their life together.Scriptures:Hebrews 4:151 Thessalonians 5:16-18Questions to Discuss:1. How are you and your spouse doing at consistently praying together?2. What’s one step you and your spouse can take to pray together on a more consistent basis?Resources:Aaron & Jennifer Smith’s Website – Marriage After GodThe Smiths new book – The Marriage Gift: 365 Prayers for Our MarriageAaron and Jennifer Smith’s Marriage Podcast – Marriage After God

In our culture, it’s extremely common for married people to have celebrity crushes—studies say 80% of married men and women have celebrity crushes. Does that make it okay for you or your spouse to have a celebrity crush? Should you have crushes on anyone besides your spouse?Scriptures:Proverbs 5:18-19Romans 12:1-2, 13:14Ephesians 5:31 Corinthians 6:18Questions to Discuss:Who’s the most famous person you’ve ever met? Why do you think we obsess about celebrities?Why do you think people believe it’s acceptable to have a celebrity crush but not okay to have a crush on non-celebrities?Tell your spouse what you love about them and then go crush on them!

We have an enemy who likes to feed us lies about marriage, temptation, and God’s design for relationships. The enemy actively tries to destroy our marriages, but as followers of Christ, the One we serve and follow is greater! We hope you’re encouraged by this new episode of More Than Roommates. Scriptures:1 Peter 5:8John 10:101 Corinthians 13:5Romans 5:8 Resources:Book – The Screwtape Letters, by C.S. Lewis Questions to Discuss:1. Did you and your spouse write letters to each other during dating and engagement?2. What are some of the lies you believe about yourself and about marriage?3. What are some things that your spouse does ‘right’—focus on keeping track of what they do right and not wrong/annoying.4. What are the times when you tend to be the most susceptible to believing lies or engaging in conflict with your spouse?

While this may not be the story for most of our marriages, polyamorous relationships (multiple romantic relationships with the consent of all involved) are gaining traction in culture. What do you need to know about polyamory and how can you protect your marriage? Scriptures:Isaiah 4:11 Peter 5:8John 10:10 Resources:Podcast – The Briefing with Albert Mohler – February 15, 2024Book – Get Married, by Brad WilcoxArticle – “Couple to Throuple” Normalizes Polyamory, by Jim Denison Questions to Discuss:1. What are some ways you can “water your own garden” and pour into your own marriage?2. Take a few moments to pray that God would protect your marriage from any polyamorous desires and pray the same for the marriages of your close friends and family.3. Think about what you engage with in books, TV, and movies. How can these resources potentially fuel your desires in a harmful way? Discuss with your spouse.

In this episode of More Than Roommates, we interview Counselor and Author Christa Hardin about her book and work with the enneagram. The enneagram is a helpful resource to help you learn more about yourself, your spouse, and your interactions in marriage and today we discuss how it can help you strengthen your marriage.Scripture:1 Peter 3:7Resources:Christa’s Book – Enneagram in Marriage, by Christa HardinChrista’s Podcast – The Enneagram and Marriage PodcastChrista’s Website – Enneagram and Marriage and Follow Christa on InstagramQuestions to Discuss:What is your enneagram number? Your spouse’s?How is the enneagram a helpful tool to help you understand yourself and your spouse in a deeper way?What’s one practical way you can serve and encourage your spouse today in their unique wiring?

In Part 2 of this series on being a learner in marriage, Derek, Gabrielle, and Scott discuss different ways we can all learn in marriage and what we're each learning in our own marriages currently. Scripture:1 Peter 3:7James 1:22-25Resources:Blog Post - Do You And Your Spouse Have Teachable And Humble Hearts In Marriage?Book – The 5 Love Languages, by Gary ChapmanQuestions to Discuss:1. How do you learn? What kind of learner are you?2. What is something you are learning in marriage right now?3. What’s one way, today, you can choose to intentionally learn more about your spouse?

In this episode of More Than Roommates, Derek, Gabrielle, and Scott discuss what they did and didn’t learn in premarital counseling. Whether engaged or married for decades, we hope today’s new episode encourages and challenges you in your marriage.Scriptures:Proverbs 18:2James 1:191 Corinthians 7:28Resources:Book – Tim Keller, The Meaning of Marriage: Facing the Complexities of Commitment with the Wisdom of GodBook – Scott Kedersha, Ready or Knot? 12 Conversations Every Couple Needs to Have before MarriagePodcast – Episode 35 – How to Identify the Four Negative Horsemen of Communication and ConflictPodcast – Episode 12 – How to Identify Negative Communication PatternsQuestions to Discuss:When’s the last time you were really unprepared for something?What are you glad you learned in premarital counseling?What do you wish you had learned in premarital counseling?

Multiple studies and articles show that the average couple talks to each other for only twenty minutes per week. In this episode, Derek, Gabrielle, and Scott discuss practical ways to make time in your marriage to connect and communicate with each other. All healthy couples might intentionally fight for time together.Scriptures:Colossians 3:12-14Matthew 18:15-17Ephesians 4:29Resources:Blog Post - Do you talk more than the average couple?Questions to Discuss:1. Are you an internal or external processor? How about your spouse?2. What are some ways you and your spouse can increase the amount of time you communicate with each other every week?3. What consumes your thoughts right now? Discuss with your spouse.

In this episode of More Than Roommates, Scott interviews his friend Justin Davis. With candor and transparency, Justin shares he and his wife’s powerful marriage testimony and we discuss the value of authenticity in helping couples be so much more than just roommates.Scriptures:Proverbs 28:13Genesis 2:25Questions to Discuss:Justin defined intimacy as being fully known emotionally, spiritually, and physically. How are you doing in marital intimacy?Who’s more authentic in your marriage—you or your spouse? How can you grow in authenticity?Resources:Justin’s New Book – Being Real > Being Perfect: How Transparency Leads to TransformationJustin & Trisha Davis’ Ministry – RefineUs MinistriesJustin & Trisha’s Marriage Story – Beyond Ordinary: When a Good Marriage Just Isn’t Good EnoughJustin & Trisha’s Podcast – Let’s Get Real with Justin and Trisha Davis

One of the best ways you can grow your marriage is to set aside time every week to ask each other some intentional, specific questions. In this episode of More Than Roommates we discuss the weekly meeting and some questions you can ask each other every week.Scriptures:Genesis 2:252 Corinthians 12:9Ephesians 5:15-16Questions to Discuss:What is God teaching you? How can I serve you better this upcoming week?How can I pray for you in the week ahead?How can we make sure we make time for each other?What's on our calendar in the next week? Resources:Blog Post - One Thing We Like To Do For Our Marriage Every Week

Today in part 9 of our 9-part series on the Fruit of the Spirit and your marriage, we discuss self-control. Like a city whose walls are broken down, a marriage marked by a lack of self-control is often broken and in need of restoration. In this episode of More Than Roommates, we discuss why it matters to demonstrate the fruit of self-control in your marriage.Galatians 5:22-23Proverbs 25:28Questions to Discuss:1. Who is more disciplined in your marriage—you or your spouse?2, Where do you show self-control in marriage and where can you grow?3. As we wrap-up this 9-part series, which of the 9 Fruit of the Spirit mark your life and marriage? Where is it lacking?

Today in part 8 of our 9-part series on the Fruit of the Spirit and your marriage, we discuss gentleness. In our relationships, we either escalate/exacerbate the challenges with anger or a lack of gentleness, or we demonstrate the fruit of spirit of gentleness and turn away wrath.Galatians 5:22-23Proverbs 15:1Matthew 11:28-30Gentle and Lowly, by Dane OrtlundQuestions to Discuss:1. What’s a household task you’re not good at?2. Would your spouse/others describe you as gentle/tender?3. How does a lack of gentleness affect your relationships with your spouse/kids/others?

Today in part 7 of our 9-part series on the Fruit of the Spirit and your marriage, we discuss faithfulness. We all want to be faithful in every aspect of our lives and reflect God’s faithfulness. This plays out in many different ways in our marriages!Galatians 5:22-232 Timothy 2:13Luke 16:10Questions to Discuss:1. Are there any teams/brands/artists that you are way too loyal to (i.e., they can do no wrong)?2. Would you and your spouse say your marriage is marked by fidelity? Do you keep your promises and do what you say you’re going to do?3. Trust is built in drops and lost in buckets. How can you build trust through your faithfulness?

Today in part 6 of our 9-part series on the Fruit of the Spirit and your marriage, we discuss ‘goodness’. What if our marriages were marked by integrity and goodness? We know God is good, and so how can we look more like Jesus in our marriage?Galatians 5:22-23Romans 3:10-12Psalm 14:3Psalm 31:19Acts 5:1-11Questions to Discuss:1. When did you most get in trouble for school (for cheating, or for other reasons)?2. What are some ways you can grow in your integrity in your marriage? Discuss with each other.3. Are there small areas in your life and marriage where you allow space for compromise? Ask your spouse if they see any areas of compromise in your life and marriage?

Today in part 5 of our 9-part series on the Fruit of the Spirit and your marriage, we discuss the importance of kindness. What if our marriages were marked by kindness? How different would we look than the rest of the world if husbands and wives were kind to one another?Galatians 5:22-23 Romans 2:4Ephesians 4:32Psalm 145:171 Corinthians 13:4Questions to Discuss:1. What were some TV shows you watched as a kid?2. Who’s the kindest person you know? What does this person do that makes them kind?3. What’s one tangible one you can show kindness to your spouse today?

In part 4 of our 9-part mini-series on the Fruit of the Spirit we’re talking about patience! In our instant society, patience can be really challenging. But when we’re led by the Spirit, we can demonstrate a Christlike patience in our marriages. Galatians 5:22-232 Peter 3:9 Questions to Discuss:1. Is it easier for you to show more patience to other people or towards your spouse?2. How does selfishness contribute to a lack of patience in your marriage and family?3. How does a lack of patience play out in your marriage and family?

In part 3 of our 9-part mini-series on the Fruit of the Spirit we’re talking about peace! Is your life and your marriage marked by the peace that surpasses all understanding? With such a lack of peace in our world and in so many marriages, the marriage marked by peace stands out. Galatians 5:22-23Philippians 4:7Isaiah 26:3Romans 12:18Ephesians 4:3Proverbs 25:24MT 11:28-30 Questions to Discuss:1. Who do you know who is marked by peace?2. Does peace mark your life and your marriage/family? Why or why not?3. Are you making every effort to keep unity and peace in your marriage and family?

In part 2 of our 9-part mini-series on the Fruit of the Spirit we’re talking about JOY! As part of the Fruit of the Spirit, our joy is intended to be connected to who God is, not the circumstances of life. And this is intended to be played out every day in our marriages. Galatians 5:22-231 Thessalonians 5:16-18Philippians 4:4John 10:10Psalm 16:11Questions to Discuss: 1. What’s your favorite Pixar movie?2. What’s your joy tied to? How about your joy in marriage?3. What can help bring joy in your lives and marriage (in addition to your relationship with Jesus)?

Welcome to our 9-part mini-series on the Fruit of the Spirit. With Valentine’s Day right around the corner, we’re doing 9 daily mini episodes on each of the nine Fruit of the Spirit. Today we talk about love and why it matters in a God-honoring marriage. Galatians 5:22-231 John 4:18-19Romans 5:8John 15:13Questions to Discuss: 1. Are you and your spouse aligned on expectations for Valentine’s Day?2. Do your actions back up your words? Do you demonstrate your love to your spouse in your actions? 3. What would it look like for you to lay down your life for your spouse?

In this episode, Derek, Gabrielle, and Scott celebrate one year of More Than Roommates with some very special guests. Together we talk through some great conversations for you and your spouse to have that will help grow your marriage. Thanks for joining us this first year. We're so excited for all to come in the year ahead. Scriptures:Ephesians 3:20-21Hebrews 3:13 Resources:Book - The Ready or Knot Prayer Guide, by Scott KedershaPodcast – Episode 53 More Than Roommates – Friends, Partners, and Lovers (feat. Kevin Thompson) Questions to Discuss:1. In the year ahead, what do you want to KEEP doing in your marriage?2. In the year ahead, what do you want to STOP doing in your marriage?3. In the year ahead, what do you want to START doing in your marriage?

In this episode of More Than Roommates, we talk with marriage pastor Chris Schultz about the unhurried life. Chris shares his marriage testimony (which includes $100,000 debt, infidelity, porn, and much more), and we discuss how you and your spouse can make decisions to live the unhurried life.Questions to Discuss:1. How’s our pace of life and the pace of our marriage?2. Do we have the courage to say “no” to the wrong things so that we can say “yes” to the right ones?3. What’s one step you can take to eliminate hurry?Resources:Follow Chris Schultz on Instagram - https://www.instagram.com/pastorcoachschultz/Book – An Unhurried Life: Following Jesus’ Rhythms of Work and Rest, by Alan Fadling

Building trust is hard work that takes a lot of time and hard work. It’s often been said trust is built in drops and lost in buckets. Yet trust is so crucial in every relationship, especially in marriage. In this episode of More Than Roommates, we discuss how to build and restore trust in your marriage.Scriptures:Matthew 5:37Proverbs 28:13Romans 8:11 Corinthians 13:6Questions to Discuss:Are you quick or slow to confess when you sin or mess up in marriage?What are a few ways you can quickly build trust in your marriage?How can you do a better job of looking for ways where your spouse is trustworthy?Resources:Book - Trust: Knowing When to Give It, When to Withhold It, How to Earn It, and How to Fix It When It Gets Broken, by Dr. Henry CloudBook – Marriage: 6 Gospel Commitments Every Couple Needs to Make, by Paul David Tripp (2 great chapters on trust)

Many couples have a poor picture of the commitment required to thrive in marriage. In this episode of More Than Roommates, we discuss two types of commitment and why they’re both required to thrive in your marriage.Scriptures:Matthew 19:3-6Matthew 5:37Ephesians 5:22-33Acts 20:24Phil 3:14John 15:13Phil 1:6Questions to discuss:What does it mean that God is a Covenant keeping God and how does that affect the way you live out your marriage?  What’s the difference between constraint commitment and dedication commitment?What does it mean to cast aside all other options and to be fully commited to your spouse?Resources:Book – A Lasting Promise: The Christian Guide to Fighting for Your Marriage, by Scott Stanley, et al

While every marriage is different, there tend to be some common characteristics of couples who thrive. In this episode, we discuss four common characteristics of married couples who thrive in marriage.Scripture:John 15:5James 4:11 Timothy 1:15Proverbs 13:20Hebrews 10:24-25Matthew 7:3-5Matthew 19:6Matthew 5:37Questions to Discuss:1. Input - How have you fed your soul this week? What are you learning in the Word?2. Output - How are you feeding others? Have you shared the gospel, served others, etc…?3. Confession - How have you fed your flesh? What do you need to confess?4. Of the four common characteristics shared, which one is a strength in your marriage? Which do you need to most improve in?

Approximately one-third of all weddings in America today form stepfamilies and many couples are either currently part of a stepfamily or grew up in a stepfamily. And even if you didn’t, chances are extremely high that you know some stepfamilies. In this episode, we interview Blended Family speaker, author, and podcaster, Ron Deal. We hope this episode helps your marriage and family and that you’ll share it with a friend! Questions to Discuss:Have you ever given any consideration to the unique challenges and opportunities of stepfamilies?What did you learn that was new to you about blended/step families?How does pride affect you and your marriage?Take a few moments to pray for your family and for any stepfamilies you know. Resources:Book - The Smart Stepfamily, by Ron DealWebsite - Family Life Blended – Strengthening StepfamiliesWebsite – SmartStepfamilies.comPodcast – FamilyLife Blended

Every couple knows what it’s like to be stuck in a decision. What do you and your spouse do when you’re stuck and can’t move forward? In this episode of More Than Roommates, we discuss some steps you can take to get unstuck in your marriage.Scriptures:Genesis 2:24PR 18:1-2James 1:19-20PR 15:1Colossians 4:62 Tim 3:16-171 Thess 5:16-18James 1:5PR 16:9PR 13:20Isa 26:3Resources:More Than Roommates, Episode 22 – What Questions Can Help You Make Decisions in Marriage?Sermon from Harris Creek from Jonathan “JP” Pokluda – Questions to Ask When Making DecisionsQuestions to Discuss:1. What steps do you take when you and your spouse are stuck (in a decision, spiritually, in your marriage, etc…)?2. When’s the last time you and your spouse prayed about a decision you needed to make?3. What’s a decision you’re trying to make right now? How can you apply when you learned in this episode to the decision you’re trying to make?

What do you do when you and your spouse are in a spiritual mismatch, where one spouse is more spiritually mature than the other? In this episode we discuss what to do and how you can best grow your relationship and encourage your spouse. Share this one with a friend who needs some encouragement.Questions to Discuss:How can you specifically pray for your spouse if you’re more mature than they are?Honestly ask yourself if you nag your spouse. How can you more gently encourage them or ask others to help?Are you being patient with yourself? Your spouse?Scriptures:2 Corinthians 6:141 Peter 3:1-2Romans 12:10Colossians 3:12-14Galatians 5:22-231 Corinthians 7:151 Thessalonians 5:14Luke 18:1-8Galatians 6:9Shownotes:Podcast - Questions Couples Ask Before Marriage (feat. Nate Hilgenkamp)Blog Post - What If You Want to Pursue the Lord But Your Spouse Does Not?Book – Sacred Pathways: Nine Ways to Connect with God, by Gary Thomas

In this episode of More Than Roommates, we discuss how technology can positively and negatively impact your marriage. There are plenty of dangers and benefits of technology, and we need to think through how technology can grow our marriage and not hurt them.Scriptures:1 Corinthians 6:121 Corinthians 10:13Ephesians 5:15-16Matthew 5:27-30Philippians 2:3-4Mark 1:35Questions to Discuss:How does technology impact your marriage in a positive way?How does technology impact your marriage in a negative way?What limits/rules/practices do you have around technology? Do you have screen-time limits? Are there any areas in your home that are device-free?Resources:The Tech-Wise Family, by Andy CrouchMade For People, by Justin Whitmel Earley (Justin has a great chapter on technology in this book)Technology and Your Marriage (Part 1 in a 2-Part Series)Humility: The Joy of Self-Forgetfulness, by Gavin Ortlund

Technology can be both a blessing and a curse. In this episode of More Than Roommates, Derek, Gabrielle, and Scott discuss ways to grow in oneness in your marriage when it comes to phones and technology.Scriptures:Genesis 2:24-25PR 28:13Romans 13:14Psalm 139:23-24Galatians 5:1Questions to Discuss:1. Is there anything technology-related that’s off-limits to your spouse? Are there any legitimate reasons why your spouse doesn’t have access to your phone/iPad, social media accounts, texts… ?2. What’s one intentional step you can take to grow in oneness when it comes to technology?3. Pray Psalm 139:23-24 together, asking God to reveal any offensive ways within you.Resources:The Tech-Wise Family, by Andy CrouchMade For People, by Justin Whitmel Earley (Justin has a great chapter on technology in this book)

In this episode of More Than Roommates, Scott interviews marriage pastor and author Kevin Thompson about three roles we are each created to play in marriage. We talk about what marriage was intended to look like before the fall and the three roles we get to play in marriage today (and what happens when we don't live as friends, partners, and lovers).Scriptures:Genesis 2:18-25Ecclesiastes 4:9-12Resources:Book - Friends, Partners, and Lovers by Kevin ThompsonBook – Stay in Your Lane by Kevin ThompsonKevin’s Website – Changetheodds.comFind Kevin on InstagramQuestions to Discuss:How are you doing in your friendship in marriage?How are you doing in your partnership in marriage?How are you doing in your role as lover in marriage?What can you celebrate and how can you grow?

We are so excited about the More Than Roommates Marriage Conference on February 2-3, 2024 at Harris Creek! We'll have great teaching, breakouts, fun, and surprises as we seek to help couples take the next intentional step to become so much more than just roommates.We hope to see you there! You can find all the details about the conference and sign-up to join us right here. As always, if we can answer any questions, email us at [email protected] .Please make sure to rate and review More Than Roommates, and please share with your friends.

The holidays provide a great opportunity for us to love and serve our families. Yet, they’re often filled with stress, conflict, and broken relationships. In this episode of More Than Roommates, we discuss how we can best serve our families and keep our marriage strong during the holiday season.Scriptures:Romans 12:10Genesis 2:24Proverbs 27:17Romans 12:21 Thessalonians 4:13Questions to Discuss:What’s one way you can serve your family this holiday season?Have you communicated your plans for the holidays with your families?What’s a new tradition you can start as you visit family this year during the holidays?Resources:Episode 43 of More Than Roommates – The Not-So-Secret Guide to In-Law Relationships (feat. Dave Willis)Book – Married Into the Family by Dave & Ashley WillisBlog – 3 Ways to Communicate Your Way to a Merry Little Christmas

How can we keep our marriage strong in the middle of a very full holiday season? In this episode of More Than Roommates, Derek, Gabrielle, and Scott discuss practical ways you can strengthen your marriage and family to make this the best holiday season yet!Scriptures:Mark 10:45Romans 12:1-2Questions to Discuss:What are some holiday traditions we can start or continue to do in our marriage?What’s your favorite Christmas movie? Song? TV show?Take a few minutes to pray together for the upcoming holiday season.Resources:Paul Tripp Advent Devotional – Come, Let Us Adore HimShe Reads Truth & He Reads Truth – Advent StudiesAnnie F Downs – Advent StudyBlog Post - 8 Ways to Make This Your Best Christmas Yet

Many of us tend to be quick to blame our spouse and slow to own our part. In this episode of More Than Roommates, Derek, Gabrielle, and Scott discuss how we can do a better job of owning our part instead of blaming. Draw the circle around yourself and work on the person inside the circle.Scriptures:Matthew 7:3-51 Timothy 1:15Psalm 139:23-24Proverbs 28:13Shownotes:How to Stay Married: The Most Insane Love Story Ever Told, by Harrison Scott KeyHow to Stay Married, TED talk by Harrison Scott KeyWhen Sinners Say I Do, by Dave HarveySave the Date: The More Than Roommates Marriage Conference, Feb 2-3, 2024, Harris Creek Baptist Church (More details coming soon)Questions to Discuss:1. How do you do in owning your part? Do you tend to own your part or point the finger and blame your spouse?2. What would owning your part allow to happen in your marriage?3. Do you own your part too slowly? Too quickly? Or just right? Ask your community if you need some input.

In this episode of More Than Roommates, we interview Justin Whitmel Earley, author of Made For People. We discuss loneliness and how to fight for a life of friendship, both inside and outside of marriage. We also talked about vulnerability, technology, forgiveness, social media, and so much more!Shownotes:Justin’s website – Justin Whitmel Earley (check out his email list!)Made For People: Why We Drift Into Loneliness and How to Fight for a Life of FriendshipThe Common Rule: Habits of Purpose for an Age of DistractionHabits of the Household: Practicing the Story of God in Everyday Family RhyhtmsQuestions to Discuss:1. How’s your friendship with your spouse? How can you grow in your friendship with your spouse?2. How can you grow in your friendship with others outside of your marriage?3. Do you have friends who know you fully and love you anyway?

In this episode of More Than Roommates, Derek, Gabrielle, and Scott discuss how to keep your marriage strong when you have kids. It’s easy to make your kids your number one priority, so we discuss practical wisdom on how to keep your relationship with Jesus and your spouse strong while still raising your kids.Scriptures:Ephesians 6:10-20, Genesis 2:24, Eph 4:1-3, Romans 12:18, PR 13:20, 22:6, Mark 10:45, MT 20:28, 1 Cor 7:3-5, 1 Peter 5:8, Phil 2:3-4Questions to Discuss:How do you and your spouse view children? Are they a blessing or a burden?What do you think God is trying to teach you in this season of marriage and parenting?How are we doing at keeping Jesus our number one priority? How are we making our kids a priority?Resources:Episode 42 – More Than Roommates – When’s the Right Time to Grow Your Family?For Better or For Kids, by Ruth and Patrick Schwenk

What if there was one habit you and your spouse can do in your marriage that would dramatically increase your likelihood of marital success and satisfaction? In this episode of More Than Roommates, Derek, Gabrielle, and Scott talk about the importance of prayer in marriage and share about Scott’s new book, The Ready or Knot Prayer Guide.  Scripture:James 5:16, Ecclesiastes 4:9-12, Matthew 18:20 Scott’s New Book! The Ready or Knot Prayer Guide – 100 Prayers for Dating and Engaged CouplesBook Website and Pre-Order Bonus InformationPre-order Bonus formScott’s first book – Ready or Knot?: 12 Conversations Every Couple Needs to Have before Marriage Questions to Discuss:1. What are the biggest obstacles to why you and your spouse don’t pray together?2. What keeps you and your spouse from praying together? Do you and your spouse believe in the power of prayer?3. What’s one tangible step you and your spouse can take to more intentionally pray together on a consistent basis? Save the Date! The More Than Roommates Marriage Conference at Harris Creek – February 2-3, 2024

Coming this Fall on More Than Roommates - technology, keeping your marriage strong when you have kids, commitment, holidays, and much more. We also have some great guests joining us this fall. As always, if we can answer any questions, email us at [email protected]. Please make sure to rate and review More Than Roommates, and please share with your friends.

BONUS EPISODE! In this episode of More Than Roommates, Derek, Gabrielle, and Scott share some of their takeaways from their interview with Professor Nancy Pearcey about her book The Toxic War on Masculinity. They discuss what surprised and encouraged them and also discuss what healthy spiritual leadership in the home looks like.Scriptures:Galatians 3:28, Genesis 1:26-27, Proverbs 22:6Shownotes:Book by Nancy Pearcey – The Toxic War on MasculinityEpisode #45 of More Than Roommates - Interview with Professor PearceyBlog Post – What Does Spiritual Leadership in the Home Look Like?Blog Post – How Can A Husband Best Lead His WifeBlog Post - How Can A Dad Best Lead His Children and HomeQuestions to Discuss:1. What surprised you or encouraged you the most from this episode?2. What’s one area of your life where you are nominal in your faith?3. Have you and your spouse discussed what healthy spiritual leadership looks like in the home?

What if much of what you hear about marital satisfaction and divorce rates inside and outside the church is actually incorrect? In this week’s episode of More Than Roommates, Derek, Gabrielle, and Scott interview Professor Nancy Pearcey about her latest book, The Toxic War on Masculinity. Stay tuned for a bonus follow-up episode later this week! Nancy Pearcey is the author of The Toxic War on Masculinity: How Christianity Reconciles the Sexes, as well as Love Thy Body, The Soul of Science, Saving Leonardo, Finding Truth, and Total Truth. She is professor and scholar in residence at Houston Christian University. She has been quoted in The New Yorker and Newsweek, highlighted as one of the five top women apologists by Christianity Today, and hailed in The Economist as "America's pre-eminent evangelical Protestant female intellectual."Nancy’s website - https://www.nancypearcey.com/Scriptures:Ephesians 5:25-27Questions to Discuss:1) What can you do in your relationship with Christ to help prevent you from being nominal in your faith?2) What surprised you most from this interview with Professor Pearcey?3) Men - Are you willing to ‘pay the daddy penalty’ at work?

It’s inevitable for every married couple that you will walk through times when your spouse annoys you. What do you do in these situations – overlook it, pray about it, talk to them about it, talk to others about it? In this episode of More Than Roommates, Scott, Derek, and I Gabrielle discuss what to do when your spouse annoys you.Scriptures:James 4:1Matthew 7:3-5Proverbs 19:111 Corinthians 13:5Shownotes:Episode 25 of More Than Roommates - How to Have Hard Conversations and How to Do Them WellQuestions to Discuss:What do you do that annoys your spouse? What does your spouse do that annoys you?Keep track of your spouse’s rights today, not their wrongs. Tell your spouse something you appreciate and value about them.Pray that God would help you overlook any small offenses and that He would help you love your spouse as the Lord loves you.

In-Laws and family of origin often get a bad reputation, and our relationship with our families is often a major stressor in marriage. In this week’s episode, Derek and Scott interview podcaster, speaker, and author Dave Willis. Dave and his wife Ashley host the very popular podcast, The Naked Marriage with Dave & Ashley Willis. We’re confident this episode will both help and entertain you as we discuss how to have healthy relationships with your in-laws.Scriptures:Romans 12:18Genesis 2:25Ruth 1:16-17Shownotes:Dave & Ashley’s new book - Married into the Family: The Not-So-Secret Guide to In-Law RelationshipsXO MarriagePodcast - The Naked Marriage with Dave & Ashley WillisDave & Ashley on InstagramQuestions to Discuss:How is your relationship with your parents/family of origin? In-laws? What can you do today to improve these relationships?When you have issues/challenges in your marriage, who do you first turn to—friends, the Lord, your parents?

We’re answering our most frequently asked questions! When do you start trying to grow your family? How many kids should you have? What if you want kids but can’t get pregnant? How should couples view children? Derek, Gabrielle, and Scott answer these questions and more in this week’s new episode of More Than Roommates.Scriptures:Genesis 1:27-28Psalm 127:3-5James 1:17Matthew 19:12Matthew 28:19-20Show Notes:Blog Post: How to Change the World: Raise a Godly Young ManBecoming Something with Jonathan Pokluda (Podcast) – Should I Want to Have Kids? And How Many?Resources for those walking through infertility:Website - Watermark Community Church in Dallas has compiled some helpful resources through their Shiloh Ministry.Book - When Empty Arms Become a Heavy Burden: Encouragement for Couples Facing InfertilityOther couples – the best resource is to find another couple who has walked this road.Questions to discuss:How do you view children? As a burden or a blessing? (Answer with honesty)Are you and your spouse aligned in how you view children?How did you know when to start trying to grow your family?

Busyness is one of the biggest challenges to marriages and we don’t even realize it. It’s the sucker punch and silent killer of many relationships that affects every part of our lives. In this episode of More Than Roommates, pastor and author Gary Thomas joins Scott & Derek as we discuss busyness and marriage. Gary is the author of more than 20 books and serves on the teaching team at Cherry Hills Community Church in Highlands Ranch, CO.Scriptures:Ephesians 6:12Psalm 90:12Shownotes:Sacred PathwaysMaking Your Marriage a FortressGary’s Website – Garythomas.comBlog post - One Thing We Like to do for Our Marriage Every WeekQuestions to discuss:Do you know what’s going on in each other’s lives? When’s the last time you checked to see how your spouse is really doing?How can busyness destroy your marriage? How do you know if you’re too busy in your marriage?What relational skill can you work on this year?

In this episode (Part 2 of a 2-part series), Derek, Gabrielle, and Scott discuss what practical implications of what the Bible says about roles in marriage. We discuss how biblical roles play out in marriage with specific examples from our own marriages.Scriptures:Proverbs 18:2, Phil 2:3-4, Romans 12:10, 1 Corinthians 12Resources - We’re including more resources that normal since we know this is a topic about which many husbands and wives have questions.From God Questions - What is egalitarianism?From Got Questions - What is complementarianism?From Harris Creek – a Message from JP - Real MarriageMust Wives Submit to Husbands?From the Council of Biblical Manhood and Womanhood - Summaries of the Egalitarian and Complementarian PositionsQuestions to discuss:1) Read 1 Corinthians 12 and discuss with your spouse. What gifts do you each have? What are some ways you each uniquely strengthen your marriage?2) How can you encourage your spouse in the role they play in your marriage?

In this episode (Part 1 of a 2-part series), Derek, Gabrielle, and Scott discuss what the Bible says about roles in marriage. We discuss different views on marital roles, and even share some of our own different views on this topic. Roles are often misunderstood and abused, so we all need to think (and act) rightly on this topic.Scriptures:Ephesians 5:22-28, Genesis 1:26-27, 2:28, 3:16; John 14:26; Mark 10:42-45Resources - We’re including more resources that normal since we know this is a topic about which many husbands and wives have questions.From God Questions - What is egalitarianism?From Got Questions - What is complementarianism?From Harris Creek – a Message from JP - Real MarriageMust Wives Submit to Husbands?From the Council of Biblical Manhood and Womanhood - Summaries of the Egalitarian and Complementarian PositionsQuestions to discuss:1) How did your upbringing affect your views on roles in marriage?2) How are you doing at serving each other?3) How do you make big decisions in your marriage?

In Part 2 of this 2-part series, Byron & Carla Weathersbee, founders of Legacy Family Ministries, share three more patterns they’ve observed in couples who thrive in marriage. They share from their own 39 years of marriage and 28 years of full-time marriage ministry. This is Part 2 in 2-Part series from the Weathersbees. We discuss resilience, unity, and spiritual intimacy.Scriptures:1 Corinthians 7:28, John 16:33, 1 Peter 3:7, 1 Peter 3:1-2, Luke 6:47-49Questions to discuss:1) How do you deal with your differences and the small things that frustrate you about your spouse?2) What’s one small step you and your spouse can take to grow in spiritual intimacy?Sacred Pathways, by Gary ThomasTo Have and To Hold: Preparing for a Godly Marriage, by Byron & Carla WeathersbeeLegacy Family MinistriesTogether: Building a Godly Marriage, by Byron & Carla Weathersbee, Amy Castello

In Part 1 of this 2-part series, Byron & Carla Weathersbee, founders of Legacy Family Ministries, share patterns they’ve observed in couples who thrive in marriage. They share from their own 39 years of marriage and 28 years of full-time marriage ministry. This is Part 1 in 2-Part series from the Weathersbees. In this episode, Byron and Carla discuss the importance of both loving and liking your spouse. Part 2 coming next Tuesday! (8/15/23)Scriptures:1 Corinthians 13:5Questions to Discuss:1) What do you do to play and have fun in your marriage?2) How can you show more gratitude to your spouse?To Have and To Hold: Preparing for a Godly Marriage, by Byron & Carla WeathersbeeLegacy Family MinistriesTogether: Building a Godly Marriage, by Byron & Carla Weathersbee, Amy Castello

In this episode of More Than Roommates, we’re joined by Nate Hilgenkamp, one of the co-hosts of the podcast, Becoming Something with Jonathan Pokluda. We discuss questions couples ask before marriage on topics such as purity, sex, conflict, and more. If you’re already married, be encouraged in your own married and share this episode with friends who are dating and engaged.Scriptures:2 Corinthians 6:14-15, Hebrews 12:1-2, Ephesians 5:3, 1 Corinthians 6:18, 1 Thessalonians 4:3, Romans 13:14, Romans 8:1Resources:Outdated, by Jonathan “JP” PokludaReady or Knot, by Scott KedershaThe Ready or Knot Prayer Guide, by Scott KedershaQuestions to Discuss:1) Whether married or single, how can you grow in personal and relational purity?2) How well do you and your significant other resolve conflict?3) What dating and engaged couples can you share this episode with?

What are the 4 Horsemen of communication and conflict? In this episode of More Than Roommates, Derek, Gabrielle, and Scott discuss four negative patterns all couples need to watch out for and remove—criticism, contempt, defensiveness, and stonewalling.Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work, by Dr. John M. GottmanScriptures Referenced:Philippians 2:14, Proverbs 21:19, James 4:6, 1 Peter 5:5, 1 Timothy 1:15Questions to Discuss:1. How can you fight back against being overly critical of your spouse?2. Text your spouse right now and tell them one reason why you’re grateful for them.3. With which one of the four horsemen do you most readily identity with? What can you do to minimize this negative behavior in your marriage?

Hey Podcast World! In this episode of More Than Roommates, Jonathan "JP" Pokluda, Lead Pastor of Harris Creek and Host of the Becoming Something Podcast, joins Derek, Gabrielle, and Scott for some marriage Q&A. We discussed trends in marriage, what JP is learning in his own marriage, and how to prioritize your marriage in the midst of the busyness of life.Becoming Something with Jonathan PokludaWhy Do I Do What I Don't Want to Do?, by JPScriptures: 1 Peter 3:7, PR 18:22, Matthew 5:27-28Questions to Discuss:1. What's the biggest challenge you're facing in your current season of marriage?2. What are you learning about marriage right now?3. How do you and your spouse make decisions about what to prioritize?

In this episode of More Than Roommates, Derek and Scott interview author and speaker Jodie Berndt about her new book, Praying the Scriptures for Your Marriage. We talk about how to pray for your marriage, what to do if your spouse doesn’t want to pray with you, and how you can best pursue the Lord together in marriage.Praying the Scriptures for Your MarriageJodie’s WebsiteFollow Jodie on Instagram.31 Days of Prayer for your marriageQuestions to Discuss:1. How are you and your spouse doing at praying for your marriage?2. What are some specific ways you can pray for your spouse today? For your marriage today?3. Check out Jodie’s new book – it’s an excellent resource for every couple and would make a great wedding gift (Hardcover Edition)!

In Part 3 of this 3-part series on sex and marriage, Scott, Gabrielle, and Derek discuss two more barriers to intimacy couples often face. We discuss sexual expectations (sexpectations) and unresolved pain, sin, or struggles. We hope this 3-Part series has helped you have some needed conversations about intimacy. Married Sex, by Gary Thomas and Debra FiletaRethinking Sexuality, by Juli Slattery#4 - We all have unmet expectations1. How satisfied am I sexually?2. How satisfied is my spouse sexually?3. Where are our sexual expectations aligned?4. Where are they different?5. Do I feel a freedom to share my desires sexually?6. What are some barriers or insecurities that prevent me from sharing with my spouse? #5 - We have unresolved or unconfessed pain, sex, and struggles1. Have I worked through any sexual hurts/addictions/habits?2. What do I need to confess or share with my spouse?3. Do I have a right view of intimacy?

In Part 2 of this 3-part series on sex and marriage, Scott, Gabrielle, and Derek discuss three barriers to intimacy couples often face. We discuss the importance of working on our marriages, communicating well, and how schedule and busyness affect marital intimacy. Married Sex, by Gary Thomas and Debra Fileta #1 - We’re not willing to work hard on our marriage.1. On a scale of 1-10 (1-horrible, 10-perfection), how would I rate our marriage?2. How would I rate our sex life?3. What would it take to increase our numbers? #2- We don’t communicate (in general and about sex)1. How are we honestly doing in our day-to-day communication?2. Is there any unresolved conflict?3. Why is it difficult for us to talk about sexual intimacy? #3 - We’re too busy to get busy1. What in our schedule prevents us from being more intentional sexually?2. When is the last time I pursued my spouse romantically and sexually?

One of the biggest challenges most couples face is that they become complacent in marriage and stop making efforts to learn more about themselves, their spouse, and marriage. In this main stage session from the Behind the Scenes Marriage Conference at Harris Creek (Jan, 2023), Scott Kedersha shares what it looks like to be a lifelong learner in marriage. Questions to Discuss:1. When you first started dating each other, what did you do to learn more about your significant other?2. What is one practical step you can take today to be a better student of your spouse?3. Challenge: You and your spouse each come up with 2 questions to ask each other. Make time on your calendar to ask each other your questions.

In Part 1 of this 3-part series on sex and marriage, Scott, Gabrielle, and Derek discuss how to have a healthy and right view of sex and marriage. We all bring baggage and challenges into marriage when it comes to sex, but if we want to have a healthy sex life, then we must learn how to think rightly about it. Married Sex, by Gary Thomas and Debra Fileta Questions to Discuss1. What were some fears you had about sex before you got married?2. Do you believe you and your spouse have a healthy view of sex and marriage? Why or why not?3. How would you and your spouse rate your sex life on a scale of 1-10? Why did you answer the way you did?

Marriages either have the wrong mission or no mission at all. What would it look for you to be on mission in your marriage? In this main stage session from the Behind the Scenes Marriage Conference at Harris Creek, Derek and Kellie Davidson share what it looks like to be on mission together in your marriage.Questions to Discuss:1. How are you doing in being/living on mission in your marriage?2. Are you willing to live at a cost while on mission in marriage?3. What is God asking of your marriage and your family?

What does it look like to celebrate your spouse well? Instead of competing with each other, what would it look like for you to consistently celebrate them. In this episode of More Than Roommates, Gabrielle, Derek, and Scott discuss practical ways to rejoice with and celebrate your spouse.Five Love Languages, by Dr. Gary ChapmanFive Love Languages QuizQuestions to Discuss:1. How do you do at celebrating each other?2. What’s one way you can celebrate your spouse today? Now go do it!3. Do you focus more on your spouse’s flaws or do you focus on ways you can celebrate and encourage them?

In this bonus episode of More Than Roommates, we share a talk Alison Treadaway gave at Harris Creek’s marriage conference in January 2023. In this talk, Alison talks about the pitfalls and benefits of comparison in marriage. It's what we do with comparison that matters!Questions to Discuss:1. How is comparison in marriage holding you back and potentially even building resentment?2. What leads you to compare yourself, your spouse, or your marriage to others?3. What's one thing your spouse does so well? Encourage them in one way they are beyond comparison!

In this episode of More Than Roommates, Derek, Gabrielle, and Scott discuss how and why to have hard conversations with your spouse. Most couples struggle with hard conversations because of things like pride and defensiveness. But, when we do this well, it can strengthen our marriage in every way!Shownotes:One Conversation with My Son that Left Me Speechless.Questions to Discuss:1. Why is it difficult to have hard conversations in our marriage?2. What’s the best time for us to have hard conversations?3. How can we make our marriage a safer place for hard conversations?

Part 2 on expectations: In this bonus episode of More Than Roommates, we share a talk Jonathan “JP” Pokluda, lead pastor of Harris Creek and host of the Becoming Something Podcast, gave at Harris Creek’s marriage conference in January 2023. In this talk, JP talks about how we combat unmet expectations and marital entitlements with gratitude towards our spouse.Questions to Discuss:How have you allowed your expectations turn into entitlements in marriage?What do you think your spouse owes you?What’s one way you can show gratitude to your spouse today? Now go do it or say it!

In this episode, we bring Jonathan “JP” Pokluda, lead pastor of Harris Creek and host of the Becoming Something Podcast, into the studio as we discuss expectations in marriage: where do they come from and how you and your significant other can walk through your unmet expectations in a way that can strengthen your marriage.Questions to Discuss:What are the sources of your expectations?What are some examples of your biggest disappointments that come from your missed expectations?Who are you learning from?

Coming this summer on More Than Roommates - bonus episodes dropping in addition to our weekly episodes on Tuesday mornings.

Life and marriage seem to be filled with one decision after another. In this episode of More Than Roommates, Gabrielle, Derek, and Scott discuss helpful six questions to ask when making decisions. Shownotes:Sermon from Jonathan “JP” Pokluda - Questions to Ask When Making DecisionsBlog Post - One Way to Help You Avoid Life's Biggest Regrets and Mistakes Questions to Discuss With Your Spouse:1. How can you and your spouse improve you make decisions?2. Do you tend to process decisions with others or just report decisions you already made? Why?3. Think of a medium-size decision you and your spouse need to make, and discuss how these six questions can help you make a better decision.

In-Laws often get an unfair reputation. In this episode of More Than Roommates, Derek, Gabrielle, and Scott discuss several ways to grow a healthy relationship with each of your parents and families. We discuss practical ways to navigate the challenges and opportunities that come with our families.Questions to discuss with your spouse:1. What is your vision or hopes for what your family and in-law relationships can look like?2. What's one intentional step you can take to strengthen your relationship with each of your families?3. Take a few minutes to specifically pray for each of your families.

How can I love my spouse well every day? Our marriages reflect the amount of work and effort we put into them. In this episode, Scott, Derek, and Gabrielle interview John McGee, the Senior Director of Resources at Watermark Community Church in Dallas, TX. John has an abundance of wisdom we can learn from as he shares how he and his wife intentionally pursue each other.Shownotes:Watermark ResourcesTiny Habit ChallengeJohn & Pam McGee’s talk from the Uncommon Marriage ConferenceQuestions to Discuss with your spouse:1. Discuss with your spouse how you’re doing in intentionally pursuing each other in the day-to-day moments.2. Pick 1 habit from the Tiny Habit Challenge to add to your marriage this week!3. Encourage your spouse with one small thing you’ve seen them do well in the last week. Tell them how they’re pursuing you well.

Healthy marriages are filled with small challenges and sin struggles couples must attend to every single day; things such as busyness, selfishness, and pride. In this episode, Derek, Gabrielle, and Scott address some challenges we must focus on every single day to grow a healthier, more intentional marriage.Shownotes – Marriage, by Paul David Tripp, Adam Grant Tweet

Money and financial problems often rank high in the reasons why couples struggle or get divorced. What does the Bible say about money and how does it affect our marriages? In this episode, Derek, Gabrielle, and Scott discuss four biblical principles that can help your marriage when it comes to money and finances.Resources – Becoming Something – Money and Family, The Marriage Challenge, by Art Rainer

We all want to be kind in marriage, but for some reason, it can be so challenging to show kindness to our spouse! In this episode of More Than Roommates, Gabrielle, Derek, and Scott discuss some of the reasons why we struggle to be kind to our spouse and ways we can be kinder to each other.Resource – The Kindness Challenge by Shaunti Feldhahn

Our thoughts affect the way we live and affect our marriages, probably much more than we realize. In this episode of More Than Roommates, Derek and Scott interview marriage expert and author Ted Lowe. We focus our discussion on the importance of empathy in marriage.  Shownotes – Us In Mind, by Ted Lowe; Find out more about Ted at TedLowe.comScripture – Rom 12:2, 12:15, James 4:1

What does it look like to be connected spiritually with your spouse? How do you pursue Jesus well together even with your different personalities and wirings? In this episode, Derek, Gabrielle, and Scott share some ways you can pursue Jesus together.Shownotes – Bible Reading Plan, Spiritual Pathways by Gary Thomas

What is the wise thing to do when it comes to marriage and friends of the opposite sex? In this episode, Derek, Gabrielle, and Scott discuss how to be above reproach with opposite sex friendships and share some practical ways to be thoughtful about opposite sex friendships.Why Do We Want to Put a Stone in Your Shoe?

What role do friendships and community play in marriage? In this episode, Derek, Scott, and Gabrielle discuss how friendships play a key role in marriage and the ways in which community provides both support and encouragement.

How's your marital communication? Ever need help resolving and managing conflict? In this episode, Derek, Gabrielle, and Scott discuss harmful marital communication patterns and how they affect our relationships. Learn how to better communicate by identifying your communication ditches. Check out the book A Lasting Promise by Scott Stanley, Trathen, McCain, Bryan

How do you handle the differences you have with your significant other? Do you resent them and do they drive you crazy? Or do you embrace and celebrate them? In this episode, Derek, Gabrielle, and Scott discuss how to celebrate your differences and see how the Lord can use them to strengthen your marriage.

In Part 2 in this series on porn, we discuss how to discuss our struggles with community and the importance of confession in marriage. Scott, Derek, and Gabrielle share authentic, biblical, and practical thoughts on confession and community.Freedom Starts Today, by John ElmoreWhy Do I Do What I Don’t Want to Do?, by Jonathan “JP” Pokluda & Jon Greenregen recoveryBecoming Something Episode 203 - A Conversation with a Former P*rn Star (feat. Joshua Broome)

Pornography destroys lives and ends marriages. In this episode of More Than Roommates, we discuss how pornography has affected each of our lives and marriages, and why we need to actively fight back against sin struggles with lust and pornography.Shownotes:How Porn Nearly Ruined My LifeBecoming Something – Episode 002 - Finding Freedom From PornFight The New Drug - https://fightthenewdrug.org/

Happy Valentine’s Day! In part 3 of this series, we talk about practical ways to date your spouse. We hope you and your spouse love each other because Christ first loved us and because of His love, we want to be so much more than just roommates.

In Part 2 of this bonus 3-part series, Derek, Gabrielle, and Scott discuss how to keep dating and pursuing your spouse. Even in the busyness of life, we need to look for ways to make our marriage a priority.

In this special episode, we talk about the importance of continuing to date and pursue your spouse, long after you say, “I do!” Derek, Gabrielle, and Scott discuss why to keep dating your spouse.Here are a few resources we reference in this Special 3-Part Series:Waco Date GuideHow to Make Date Nights (With Your Spouse) Less BoringConversation StartersDefy Drift Conversation Cards

Special episodes coming soon! We have three short episodes coming your way next week. Learn why, how, when, and where to date your spouse so that you can become More Than Roommates! 

In this episode, Derek, Gabrielle, and Scott each share three things they’re glad they did from the beginning in their marriages. Whether you’re already doing these things or not, it’s never too late to start good habits and practices in your marriage.

In this episode, Derek, Gabrielle, and Scott share three mistakes they each made from Day 1 of marriage. Whether you’re a newlywed or married for decades, it’s never too late to make changes in your marriage.

In this episode, we discuss what it looks like to have a biblical vision and picture of marriage. To be more than just roommates, we need to have a better understanding of God’s design and ideal for marriage.

Without an intentional plan to grow our marriages, most couples will coast into mediocrity. In this episode we discuss how to take intentional steps to grow your marriage in the year ahead.

In this first episode, we share the heart behind the More Than Roommates Podcast and the reason why we created this podcast. Our passion is to see couples break out of ruts, stop settling for “good enough,” and become so much more than just roommates with each other.

Welcome to More Than Roommates, where we want to help you take the next step to be more intentional in your marriage. We want to help you avoid falling into the trap of being merely roommates with your spouse. We hope that through authentic, biblical, and practical conversation you will gain tools and wisdom to help you take one step closer to the Lord and the marriage He intends for you and your spouse. Listen in as Scott Kedersha, Gabrielle McCullough, and Derek Davidson help you intentionally strengthen your relationship.