In this episode, we're joined by Amanda Montei, the author of "TOUCHED OUT: Motherhood, Misogyny, Consent, & Control." Amanda's work, which spans from The New York Times to ELLE, brings a critical eye to the experiences of motherhood under the weight of societal expectations. We talk about the line between the institution of motherhood and our experience of mothering, referencing back to Adrienne Rich’s work and trace some of Amanda’s experience of mothering as transformational, creative, and even radicalizing. Amanda’s work explores the body and consent, and the ways in which parenting is not just an arena where we may pass on beliefs about our bodies, but also for learning about them. Motherhood as an area for self-inquiry and discovery, as well as social and political activism and exploration, is something we discuss - moving between both the broader social and cultural institution and intimate lived experience. Amanda shares her insights on boundaries, good girl conditioning, consent, maternal ambivalence and maternal identity, and motherhood as a source of both constraint and power. Tune in to explore how motherhood can serve as both a refuge and a form of rebellion, reshaping identity and challenging societal norms. Follow Amanda's ongoing exploration of motherhood on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/amontei/ or read a copy of her book https://www.amandamontei.com/

*Download your free checklist here: https://drsophiebrock.com/checklist *The Mothers at Work program starts August 26th, 2024. Learn more here: https://drsophiebrock.com/mothersatwork What is the Care Career Conundrum, and how does it impact mothers in paid work? How can understanding this concept transform our approach to supporting mothers? Download a free tool I've developed called The Care Care Career Conundrum Checklist and see how many indicators you or your clients tick off. This checklist is part of my broader Mothers at Work program, a 5 week Training program for coaches, facilitators, consultants and leaders to drive change for working mothers. In this episode you'll learn about the social construction of motherhood and the 'fish tank' analogy, the perfect mother myth and its impact on 'working mothers', a reflection on the language we use to describe mothers in paid work, and what the Care Career Conundrum is.

In this conversation, I speak with digital creator, speaker and mental health advocate Libby Ward from Diary of an Honest Mom, whose work has touched millions of women worldwide. I ask Libby about her journey and we talk candidly about some of the challenges that come up in opening honest conversations about modern motherhood. We speak about what it’s like to ‘go against the grain’ of normalised motherhood, and how this impacts our experiences of relationships and finding a sense of belonging within communities. Libby also shares about the complexities of working within this space of motherhood-support, and the sometimes amplified pressure we can place on ourselves as advocates. Libby emphasises the complexities that socioeconomic factors can bring to the mothering experience through sharing some of her own life journey, and we reflect on the ways that motherhood can be a force for connection through shared experience, AND is also such a profoundly individual journey unique to each of us. We hope you enjoy this authentic conversation about all things ‘honest motherhood’. Libby has been recognized as a mental health advocate by TikTok and her best-selling guided journal, "The Honest Mom Journal: The Struggling Mom's Guide to Struggling Less," has been a lifeline for countless mothers. You can connect with her further below. Libby Ward - https://diaryofanhonestmom.com/ @diaryofanhonestmom on TT and IG . . . Register to listen to free private podcast training for current and aspiring mother-care professionals and practitioners, '10 Ways Patriarchal Motherhood Can Show Up in Your Clients' - https://drsophiebrock.com/patriarchal-motherhood-register

In this episode I speak with Dr Sam Casey, an integrative child therapist who specialises in play therapy, trauma informed practice and maternal mental health. Sam shares her journey into play therapy, which started from an interaction when she was working at a childcare centre, and saw her through to gaining a PhD. You’ll come away with interesting insights and strategies from this episode, regardless of whether you’re a parent who has never heard of play therapist before, or whether you’re a registered play therapist yourself. We talk about the ‘play prescription’ model that Sam has developed that can be used by both parents and professionals to bring the power of play into their lives, relationships and work, to facilitate healing and growth. You’ll hear me share some reflections from my own mothering for us to explore as examples of the power of play in both connecting with our children, that goes beyond the ‘shoulds’ of intensive mothering that are so culturally pervasive. Connect with Dr Sam Casey further at https://www.drsamcasey.com/ follow her @drsamcasey on Instagram, and check out her upcoming free webinar here - https://www.drsamcasey.com/registration-page

In this episode, we speak to the PhD-qualified Neuroscientist, psychotherapist, meditation teacher, maternal mental wellbeing consultant, international speaker, author, and host of the podcast ‘Mama, Unleashed!’, Dr Jennifer Hacker Pearson. Within this conversation we delve into the fascinating world of neuroplasticity, the maternal brain, and how all of this information can be relevant in practical ways to our daily lives as mothers. Dr Jen explains how our brains continuously adapt and change in response to both internal and external stimuli. We explore the concept of self-directed neuroplasticity, and how we can begin to reshape our neural pathways. In this episode you’ll hear personal insights and stories that are shared to help explore the practical application of tools shared to help us as mothers in reshaping our experience of mothering and what it means to be a mother, to help us reclaim and push back against the normative ‘shoulds’ and structures of motherhood. Purchase the mini-course ‘Harness Your Motherhood Brain to thrive: A science-informed introduction to matrescence and the brain’ by Dr Jennifer Hacker Pearson and Dr Jodi Pawluski here - https://matrescencebrain.drjen.com.au and for 10% off, use the discount code SOPHIE - exclusive to The Good Enough Mother podcast listeners. Website - www.DrJen.com.au Email - [email protected] Instagram - https://www.instagram.com/drjenhackerpearson/ LinkedIn: https://au.linkedin.com/in/dr-jennifer-hacker-pearson-phd-60293452

*The Motherhood Studies Certification 2024 is open for enrolment until April 19th* What possibilities exist beyond patriarchal motherhood? How can sociological understandings of motherhood liberate our individual experience and contribute to broader social change? These are the sorts of questions I'll reflect on in this episode, considering the transformative potential of motherhood, liberated from patriarchal norms. I mention an upcoming article examining the outcomes of participants who completed the Motherhood Studies Practitioner Certification in the context of matricentric feminism. I talk about some of the differences between 'empowered mothering' and feminist mothering, and share the term that I use to guide me in my mothering, business, and other aspects of 'self'. I share one benefit I've received from engaging in Motherhood Studies work that I've been hesitant to talk about, talk about maternal ambivalence and mothering as an art and a practice. I finish by sharing some of my favourite quotes on motherhood, liberated. If you're interested in diving further into this work for both yourself and your current career or future work aspirations, join us in The Motherhood Studies Practitioner Certification, enrolment for this live round is open until April 19th, 2024 - https://drsophiebrock.com/motherhoodstudies/ Here is the other link mentioned in the episode: https://drsophiebrock.com/thefishtankofmotherhood

In this episode I speak with Dr. Emma Svanberg, an award-winning clinical psychologist and author of the recently released, "Parenting For Humans." Dr. Emma is the founder of The Psychology Co-operative and co-founder of Make Birth Better CIC. She also facilitates a vibrant parenting community on Facebook called The Village – A Parenting Community For Humans. I ask Dr Emma about the key themes from her book, exploring the beautiful analogy she uses of understanding children as ‘mapmakers’ whose maps are shaped by their temperaments, environments, context, and how we as parents can guide and connect with our children - through understanding our own stories. We talk about the role of play in connection with our children, as well as boundaries in the context of technology. Dr Emma reflects on the pressures parents face today in an information-rich and distracted society, and how we can try to navigate these contexts drawing on a sense of agency and power, and calling in opportunities for presence both for ourselves and our children. You’ll hear us reflect on the role of disappointment and the ruptures that inevitably occur between us and our children, and reflect on ‘good enough’ and Winnicott’s work as part of our parenting practice in fostering connection and growth. Website - https://dremmasvanberg.com/ Email - [email protected] Instagram - https://www.instagram.com/mumologist Buy Emma’s Book: https://ebury.lnk.to/ParentingForHumans Show notes page: https://drsophiebrock.com/podcast106

In this episode, you’ll hear from Jessie Ann Elliot and Mary Sotiropoulos who share their personal journeys through early motherhood and postpartum in building community, finding their power, and collaborating together to birth a book into the world. Jessie and Mary met through a mother-membership I facilitated called Liberated Motherhood. They share their experience of connecting with the work of the sociology of motherhood early on in their mothering journeys, and the passion they each developed in making the world a better place for mothers. Together, they started a kickstarter, and raised over $8,000 to create the children’s book, "The Mom Who Found Her Sparkle”, a testament to their shared experiences encapsulating a mother’s quest to rediscover purpose, identity, and joy. The inclusion of prompts and activities within the book encourages families to engage in meaningful discussions about what brings them joy and makes them feel alive. In this episode, we explore embodiment, presence, connection, and creativity. Instagram - https://www.instagram.com/themumwhofoundhersparkle https://www.booktopia.com.au/the-mum-who-found-her-sparkle-jessie-ann-elliott/book/9780646886831.html https://www.amazon.com.au/Mum-Who-Found-Her-Sparkle/dp/0646886835/ref=mp_s_a_1_3?crid=30Z8QMJPRS7VS&keywords=the+mum+who+found+her+sparkle&qid=1700598921&sprefix=the+mum+who+found+her+sparkl%252Caps%252C227&sr=8-3 Show notes: https://drsophiebrock.com/podcast105

I share a brief life update of what's been present for me over the last few months, talk about transitions, honouring the stage we're in, taking our time, and orient to what will come this year for The Good Enough Mother podcast. This is the free training I mention in the episode: https://drsophiebrock.com/patriarchalmotherhood Here is a link to join the waitlist for The Motherhood Studies Practitioner Certification for 2024 - https://drsophiebrock.com/motherhoodstudies/

In this episode I speak with neuroscientist Dr. Sarah McKay about her latest book: Baby Brain - The surprising neuroscience of how pregnancy and motherhood sculpt our brains and change our minds (for the better). This conversation aims to debunk some of the myths about ‘baby brain’ that exist in our culture, and we discuss the discrepancies between what the research says about the maternal brain and our memory, with what mothers say about their memory and experience of ‘baby brain’. We talk about societal expectations and patriarchal influences on motherhood alongside the cognitive changes that occur for women when they become mothers, and this intersection between the ‘social’ and the ‘physiological’. The episode explores how pregnancy primes the brain for motherhood, the impact of thoughts on biological processes, the significance of brain-to-brain synchrony in mother-child interactions, and how motherhood contributes to resilience in the maternal brain. You’ll learn about the fascinating phenomenon of foetal cell transfer and its potential benefits for women who have experienced miscarriage. Dr. Sarah simplifies complex brain science and sheds light on the profound connection between baby brain, pregnancy, and motherhood. See more on the show notes page here: https://drsophiebrock.com/podcast104

The Motherhood Studies Certification 2024 is currently open for early enrolment, and in the context of launching next year's round of the course, I'm reflecting on some of the ways I think we can start to dismantle patriarchal motherhood that focuses on systems rather than individuals. I share some thoughts and reflections on what some structural and social changes could look like, ranging from areas including postpartum care, maternal mental health, economic policy, sex-based role stereotypes, and more. I also speak to the complexities of advocating for societal system change and the importance of remaining open minded, curious, humble, and keeping in mind historical, and cultural contexts. I refer to previous podcast episodes 98 (with Alecia Staines) and 34 (with Dr Oscar Serrallach). The next round of The Motherhood Studies Practitioner Certification program begins on April 29, 2024, and early enrolment is open until October 24th. Head here for more information https://drsophiebrock.com/motherhoodstudies/ or email me at [email protected] if you have any questions. See the Instagram post referred to here and feel free to comment with any further ideas or suggestions you have about promoting social change: https://www.instagram.com/drsophiebrock/

In this episode I am joined by Zoe Blaskey, founder of Motherkind and host of The Motherkind Podcast. Zoe is a transformational coach and a mother of two who knows firsthand the complexities of modern motherhood. Her journey into motherhood inspired her to create the Motherkind movement and podcast, where she shares wisdom from world-leading experts on topics ranging from self-care and mental health to career, nutrition, and parenting. Zoe and I dive deep into the intricacies of motherhood. Zoe shares her personal journey and the challenges she faced as a new mother, including feelings of guilt, anxiety, and the ever-present sense of not feeling 'good enough.' We explore how the journey for parenting knowledge can sometimes lead to self-critique and the complexities that arise when we’re told to just ‘listen to our inner voice’. Zoe's insights shed light on the empowering, yet sometimes overwhelming, abundance of information available to mothers. We talk about how to come to a place where you can feel empowered and equipped, without feeling overwhelmed. Listen in to hear insights from Zoe's journey in creating a world-leading podcast and platform on Motherhood, and how to bring more compassion into your daily lived experience as a mother. Connect with Zoe Blaskey: Instagram: @zoeblaskey Website: www.motherkind.co Email: [email protected] Podcast show notes: https://drsophiebrock.com/podcast102

This conversation is with Tracy Gillet, passionate advocate of natural parenting and creator of the award-winning blog and community Raised Good. Tracy was a veterinarian for many years before starting Raised Good and we talk about how this orientation led her into diving into the science of parenting and finding ways to make it accessible for parents. We talk about countercultural parenting practices, parenting through connection, and the sometimes complex relationship we can have to parenting in a way that feels aligned and authentic while ‘breaking the rules’ to live in our values. We both talk candidly about our own experiences of mothering and how information and making parenting decisions is filtered through the lens of our own lived experiences, interests, cultural context, and the individual needs and personality of our child. I ask Tracy about the journey she’s been on in building her business and community, and if she has any advice for ways to nurture creativity and sustain energy and focus in the creation of a project and moving towards a vision as she’s done in this space for almost a decade. Be sure to grab your FREE ticket to Raised Good Online Parenting Summit 2023, beginning September 21st here: bit.ly/3ZD3Ti1 You can also download a free guide to Five Natural Parenting Secrets That Make Kids Want To Cooperate (No Time Outs, Punishments or Threats Required) here: https://raisedgood.com/naturalparentingsecrets More information on safe infant sleep: https://raisedgood.com/sids-safe-sleep-babies-risk/ https://llli.org/the-safe-sleep-seven/ Connect with Tracy: Instagram: @raisedgood

I've created a free resource for mother-supporting professionals and those working in motherhood-support to learn what patriarchal motherhood is, and why understanding the social structure of motherhood is critical for mother-supporting professionals. Discover 10 ways that patriarchal motherhood can show up in your clients, through a training offered via an exclusive private podcast and an accompanying PDF companion. My hope is that this resource will empower you with enhanced awareness and sensitivity in seeking to provide more effective and holistic support to mothers navigating the challenges posed by patriarchal norms and expectations. Head here to register for free access: https://drsophiebrock.com/patriarchalmotherhood

In this episode, we dive into the concept of the "good enough mother" from the perspective of Dr Tanya Cotler, who is a Clinical Psychologist, author, and speaker specializing in reproductive mental health, infant mental health, and parent-child attachment. Tanya has studied the work of Winnicott (who is the creator of the concept of ‘the good enough mother’) extensively and offers a unique lens and insight having expertise in BOTH child and adult psychology. We dive into unpacking what ‘good enough’ actually means, the process of attunement mismatches and rupture-repair cycles in a child’s development, and how intentional and unconscious repair contribute to building trust, resilience, and frustration tolerance in children. We centre the mother in our conversation to shift a child-focused lens, and I ask Tanya about her experience with what it’s like to work with both adults and children in the context of reflecting on these theories. Tanya shares insights from her nearly 20 years of clinical and research experience, and she offers us a key takeaway we can put into practice as good enough mothers, for the benefit of both our children and ourselves. Episode show notes: https://drsophiebrock.com/podcast100 Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/drcotler/ Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/tanya.cotler Website: https://drtanyacotler.com/

In this episode, Amy Taylor-Kabbaz and I delve into the intricacies, beauty and challenges of mothering ‘beyond the early years’, and share parts of our own personal mothering journeys to demonstrate the ongoing nature of matrescence. Amy's insights from her lived experience and work as a matrescence activist, cast a light on the imperative need for all-encompassing support systems that envelop mothers throughout their journey. We talk about the impossible ‘balancing act’ when it comes to mothering children at different ages and stages, and how we continue to nurture ourselves and a sense of our own identity while trying to meet our children’s varying and various needs. We hope that our conversation points to the vital significance of sharing stories among mothers and having spaces where we can be heard, as well as how we can learn from other mothers who are in different stages of motherhood than we may be. Amy articulates how storytelling can become a vehicle for healing, growth, and cultivating a profound sense of solidarity amongst mothers, and emphasizes the potential and possibility for matrescence as a powerful catalyst for personal growth, healing and transformation. If you’re interested in supporting mothers on their matrescence journey, check out Amy’s groundbreaking Mama Rising Offering, which encapsulates her unique coaching and support framework for mothers transitioning through matrescence. Amy’s program is now open for enrolment until August 30th, 2023. Learn more by heading to - https://mamarising.net/open/ Connect with Amy on Instagram: @amytaylorkabbaz and @mamarisingmovement or email Amy at [email protected] Learn more about this episode and see key quotes at: https://drsophiebrock.com/podcast99

*Please note that this podcast discusses obstetric violence, rape, and trauma. ** If you would like to lodge a submission to the Birth Trauma Inquiry via The Maternity Consumer Network, head here: https://form.jotform.com/231841360678864 To lodge directly, head here: https://www.parliament.nsw.gov.au/committees/inquiries/Pages/lodge-a-submission.aspx?pk=2965 . . . Alecia Staines is a passionate advocate for improving the maternity care system and has been working in this space of political advocacy for a decade. She is also a classroom teacher, childbirth educator, yoga teacher, founder of Maternal Consumer Network, and mother of 5. In this conversation Alecia provides an overview of some of the key problems she sees within the maternity system, how she works both within the system and outside of it, in order to advocate for institutional change. Alecia is active in working to address structural inadequacies, as well in supporting individuals through education, trauma-informed practices, and more. We talk frankly about the challenges in initiating structural and social change, and I ask for Alecia’s insights as to how she’s navigated these challenges and sustained herself over the course of her career and volunteer work. Alecia reflects on the bureaucratic obstacles that exist in the maternity system, the prevalence of birth and obstetric violence, the importance of respectful communication within healthcare, and the foundational role that birth plays in ‘setting us up’ for motherhood. We talk about the ripple effects of birth trauma on relationships and society and discuss healing, the power of story-telling, vagal toning, social power dynamics, paternalism, hierarchies, and the need for reform. . . . Alecia has a range of online and face to face offerings, including her Vagal Toning for Birth Trauma Course. All available at www.aleciastaines.com.au https://www.instagram.com/alecia_staines/ Reach out to The Maternity Consumer Network: https://www.maternityconsumernetwork.org.au/ https://www.instagram.com/maternity_consumer_network/ Australia's first consent training for maternity health professionals: https://www.maternityconsumernetwork.org.au/about-6 Better Births presentation from Alecia: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=J7FQtT37XDU Check out Alecia’s podcast: Birth, The Forgotten Feminist Issue Show notes for more links and information from the show: https://drsophiebrock.com/podcast98 . . . If you find aspects of this podcast conversation raises difficult feelings for you, please reach out for support. Support lines Australia - https://www.panda.org.au/ - 1300 726 306 @pandanational @lifelineaustralia @13yarn UK - https://pandasfoundation.org.uk/ - 0808 1961 776 USA - https://www.postpartum.net/ - Text “Help” to 800-944-4773 (EN) The EU/EEA - Mental health helpline - 116 123

In this episode I speak with Dr Greer Kirshenbaum - a neuroscientist, doula, educator, and author of her newly released book: "The Nurture Revolution: Grow Your Baby's Brain and Transform Their Mental Health through the Art of Nurtured Parenting.” Greer shares with us revolutionary science about the power of nurturing in infancy - which is defined as the first 3 years of life. Throughout Greer’s book and this episode, Greer dispels common myths surrounding the care and nurture of babies: including social narratives about self-soothing, sleep training, temperamental differences between our babies, and the level of control we really have over how our children behave, feel, and react. We dive into a discussion of epigenetics and how we are influenced by ancestral experiences. I share my favourite parts of Greer’s work that have revolutionised my own understanding of childhood - and motherhood. In this episode you’ll learn about the links between mental health, infancy, our stress-system, and nurture as a practice. We also discuss toxic cultures of ‘low nurture’ and talk about Greer’s concept of ‘nurtured empathy’ for both our babies and ourselves. Please share this episode with anyone you know who is involved in the care and nurture of infants, and the care and support of parents, and check out more about the episode including key quotes and where to buy Greer’s book. You can find more about Dr Greer here - https://www.nurture-neuroscience.com/ Instagram: Instagram - https://www.instagram.com/nurture_neuroscience_parenting/ Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/NurtureNeuroscience/ Episode show notes for quotes and where to find Greer's book: https://drsophiebrock.com/podcast97

Are we being ‘duped’ by our current cultural conception of what it means to be a mother? In this episode, I speak with Tess Wilkinson-Ryan who is a law professor and moral psychologist at The University of Pennsylvania Carey Law School. Tess is the author of her recently released book: FOOL PROOF: How Fear of Playing the Sucker Shapes Ourselves and the Social Order―and What We Can Do About It. The book is on the psychology of feeling duped or betrayed, exploring the human experience of feeling like a ‘sucker’, and we focus our conversation on one particular chapter of the book: Mothersucker. Tess shares how motherhood can be like playing a relentless public goods game (she explains what this is in the episode) in which a mother's job is to contribute, but everyone else gets to play whatever strategy they want and benefit from her work while she remains undervalued and taken for granted. We unpack the discrepancy between the cultural promise and social rewards of motherhood with what mothers then experience, and Tess shares research into the bias and discrimination that mothers face. This conversation explores the relationship between individualism and care-work, the ways mothers are socialized into patriarchal motherhood, collectivism, the allocation of resources, the economy of motherhood and more. We also explore the dynamic between an individual mothers’ life, psychology and decision-making, with the broader social-cultural-moral context of motherhood that she is living within. You can find more about Tess here - https://twitter.com/tesswilkry or https://www.tesswilkinsonryan.com/ Purchase Tess's Book: Fool Proof: How Fear of Playing the Sucker Shapes Our Selves and the Social Order—and What We Can Do About It: https://www.harpercollins.com/products/fool-proof-tess-wilkinson-ryan?variant=40485173723170

In this episode I reflect on the context of Mother's Day and how cultural messages are communicated to us about motherhood and how this affects our sense of self and identity. I reflect on developing our skill of perceiving and picking up on the cultural messages we're sent, placing them within a broader social context, cultivating greater self-compassion to lessen guilt and self-judgement, and how this is key to reducing comparison, competition, and disconnection between us and other mothers. In the episode the research I reference when reflecting on differing interpretations of how feminism has treated mothers comes from Associate Professor Julie Stephens and her work on 'postmaternal thinking'. I refer to another episode of the podcast that I released on the 'fish tank' of motherhood model - go back and find this episode as number 89. You can find the 3min animation explaining the theory here: https://drsophiebrock.com/thefishtankofmotherhood Find information on and the graphic of The Good Mother Bad Mother Binary concept here - https://drsophiebrock.com/conceptualmodels Find a replay of my talk at The Oath Summit on Maternal Anger here - https://youtu.be/epvnQKxI72I . . . The Motherhood Studies Practitioner Certification runs once a year and enrolment for the 2023 round of the course is open until Thursday 18th May. Email [email protected] if you have any questions and secure your place here: https://drsophiebrock.com/motherhoodstudies/

In this episode I speak with Emily, bilingual/bicultural mamá of two, pediatric Speech-Language Pathologist, Clinical Assistant Professor and Supervisor of graduate speech-language students, and the author of "Unexpected: A Postpartum Memoir." Emily shares the challenges she went through in becoming a mother of two, and the journey she went on with her mental health, construction of identity, and exploration of what it means to mother. Emily completed The Motherhood Studies Certification in 2021 and shares how the context and content of Motherhood Studies and supported and expanded her understanding of her own experience of motherhood, and how this work is now integrated within her career. We talk about the socialization of mothers, examination of maternal expectations - particularly when transitioning from 1 to 2 children - and how to ‘speak back’ to the inner critique we’ve internalised from patriarchal motherhood that polices our feelings, thoughts, and behaviours. From this conversation, you’ll hear about the ways that big life transitions can usher in both disorientation but also potential for immense growth, self-learning, and expansion as we ‘undo’ in order to ‘recreate’. Emily’s book and work encapsulate both the grief and love, vulnerability and power, breaking down and breaking through that can be part of our experience of motherhood. Purchase Emily’s book: https://www.emilyadlermosqueda.com/book Unexpected: A Postpartum Memoir “Repeat mothers are assumed to know what to expect during pregnancy, birth, and the postpartum period. Unexpected: A Postpartum Memoir is the moving, raw account of a second-time mother who finds herself struggling for the first time with postpartum depression, anxiety and motherhood itself. Only as a mother of two does Emily find herself unable to ignore the impossible tempo of motherhood. At eight-months postpartum, Emily finds motherhood to be punctuated with unexpected sensations of irritability and feelings of rage all lathered in immobilizing guilt and shame. Readers witness the author’s personal evolution through her internal review and deconstruction of self and her examination of maternal expectations. It is through this journey of examining and feeling that truly opens up the unexpected possibilities of understanding and what it means to be content in motherhood." https://www.emilyadlermosqueda.com/

In this episode, I talk with author and psychotherapist Dr Margo Lowy, exploring the concept of maternal ambivalence – an often-silenced but integral part of the mothering experience. Maternal ambivalence is defined as many conflicting feelings or contradictory feelings that can exist at the same time. In her book, "The Maternal Experience: Encounters with Ambivalence and Love", Dr Lowy further develops the concept of maternal ambivalence into being part of a new ‘language of maternal love’ and explains how maternal ambivalence is an integral part of our mothering that can actually strengthen maternal love. Learn why this is the case, the reasons why maternal ambivalence remains a cultural taboo, and how to start embracing maternal ambivalence to connect more deeply with your child/ren and yourself. Connect with Dr Lowy’s work further at www.drmargolowy.com and her Instagram @drmargolowy See show notes at - https://drsophiebrock.com/podcast93

Often, there can feel as though there is a conflict between the ways we would like to parent, and the social and structural forces that shape and influence our everyday lives as mothers. Amanda Connell from Spilt Milk Psychology joins me in this conversation to discuss the ways so often, our ‘needs’ as mothers are framed as being in competition with the needs of our children. Negotiating this and finding space for our ‘selves’ is therefore connected with the idea that we need to be separated from our children – to have time away from the to ‘come up for air’. We challenge this narrative and the pressure mothers face to always centralize our children and place their needs above our own. Amanda offers us examples and tools for how we can learn to build our own ‘oxygen tank’ to ‘breathe under water’, and honour the ambivalence that is part of mothering. We talk about toxic positivity, how to teach our children how to deal with disappointment, strategies to cultivate self-compassion, and much more. Amanda has a range of offerings for professionals and the general public which will be launching soon from her website spiltmilkpsych.com/

In this episode I speak to some criticisms of the concept and application of ‘good enough mothering' as an approach to parenting. Some of us can have a reaction of: 'good enough?, why would I want to be JUST good enough as a parent?'. For those who identify as perfectionists, who feel the 'high stakes' nature of parenting, who are feeling guilty and not enough, and pressure to constantly do/be more as a mother, this episode offers a reprieve and an invitation to consider a perspective shift that can lighten the load we so often feel as mothers. I share both some of the research and my own personal reflections as a mother on why I find 'good enough mothering' a valuable tool and perspective for both us and our children.

This episode takes sections from podcast episode 32 with Julianne Boutaleb – a consultant perinatal psychologist and Director of Parenthood in Mind. Julianne speaks about the processes of attachment between a mother and her baby, the early attachment needs of a baby, self regulation and co-regulation between carers and babies, and changes that happen in a woman’s brain when she becomes a mother. Julianne offers advice about how we can move through these experiences with a sense of forgiveness, compassion, and gentleness, in order to use this time as an opportunity to settle into a new ‘maternal rhythm’. You can connect further with Julianne on Instagram @parenthoodinmind or through www.parenthoodinmind.co.uk/

There is a piecing-back-together that we are called to do after we go through a journey of pulling apart the version of motherhood we've been sold. To ask: well, what DO I want for my motherhood? If I understand the perfect mother myth, and how we're 'swimming' within a culture that sets us up for a certain experience of motherhood, what are the next steps I can take after unpacking these realizations? I speak to these types of questions in this episode and reflect on the process of what it means to go on the journey of unpacking how we have internalised the ‘perfect mother myth’ and have been socialized into the expectations of what it means to be a ‘Mother’. The birth of a new awareness, and (re)creation of a new identity can feel alluring, exciting, liberating, and/or empowering. But it can also feel really unsettling, especially at first. This episode speaks to this experience and on how we can build new models of what it means to be a mother. I consider a model of ‘integrated’ motherhood, and invite you to reflect on some questions about your own sense of self and identity. . . . Enrol in The Sociology of Motherhood Starter Bundle of 3 of my most popular self-study courses. I've converted these courses into a private podcast and you can receive 40% off until January 31st 2023 by entering the coupon code NEWYEARS at checkout. https://drsophiebrock.com/starterbundle

This episode is a training Sophie delivered, translating the predominant theoretical finding from her PhD research - the 'fish tank of motherhood' model. This model offers us a way of understanding what the 'social construction of Motherhood' actually is, how it shapes our experience as mothers, and what it really takes to claim and create opportunities for mothers to step into their power and be acknowledged for their importance. You'll hear a description of the 'rule book' of good motherhood, what happens when we don't fit within the rules, what maternal thinking is, and the exciting opportunity we currently have as mothers and motherhood-support professionals to make a difference. To see the fish-tank graphic referred to during the training head here: https://drsophiebrock.com/fishtanktraining If you work with mothers as a therapist, healthcare practitioner, in postpartum care, coaching, or any role where you support mothers or you're looking to transition into this field, join the waitlist to find out more about enroling in The Motherhood Studies Certification training - https://drsophiebrock.com/motherhoodstudies/ with the next round beginning May 22nd 2023.

In this solo re-released episode I reflect on the ways the festive season brings with it an amplification of the perfect mother myth. I explain how and why the festive season and other celebrations intensify the pressures mothers face, and give voice to the often-invisible load that women carry at this time and the expectations on mothers, children, and the ‘family’ unit to ‘perform’. I reflect on the mental load, but also on some of the challenges in having the only solutions suggested as ‘stepping back’ or ‘delegating’. I pose questions to consider about the extent to which mothers are expected to sacrifice their wellbeing to facilitate the enjoyment of others, how we have been conditioned to want to ‘please’ others, but also the complex dynamics involved when it comes to wanting to ‘give’ to our children. This leads to a consideration of how our worthiness is measured, and purpose is defined. Ultimately, cultivating connection with ourselves as Mothers offers a precious gift of ‘presence’ to ourselves and our family.

Today’s conversation is with author, psychotherapist, speaker, and Mum of three, Anna Mathur. Anna and I dive into reflecting on the complexities of motherhood over the holiday season, and consider how we can prepare ourselves for the increase in emotional and mental labour that can come with this busy time. Anna shares her perspective on how to enjoy a magical yet simple Christmas, dealing with disappointment, tips on how to say ‘no’ without feeling like we are letting people down, setting boundaries and more. Tune in to invite a sense of reflection, lightness and self-compassion for yourself during this holiday season. Listen to Anna's podcast The Therapy Edit Purchase Anna's most recent book The Little Book of Calm for New Mums Find links and more details about Anna and the episode on the show notes website here: https://drsophiebrock.com/podcast86

This conversation is with psychologist and motherhood coach Yara Heary. Yara shares ways to come home to our bodies in those moments when mothering can bring up hard feelings, using somatic tools for nervous system regulation which can help to connect with ourselves and our children in a way that fosters intimacy and trust. We look at the process of repairing with our children after a rupture, what this feels like for children and for us as adults who may or may not have received repair as children ourselves. Read more show notes and key quotes here - https://drsophiebrock.com/podcast85 Connect with Yara - lifeafterbirthpsychology instagram.com/lifeafterbirthpsychology

This conversation on shame and perfectionism is with mother and psychotherapist, Catherine Counihan. Catherine and Sophie both share from their own personal stories of mothering their daughters to look at some lived examples of how the perfect mother myth, shame and perfectionism can play out in the day-to-day of mothering, and model a pathway through which we as mothers can interrogate our guilt, honour our values, release ‘shoulds’, and offer self-compassion. You’ll learn about the connection between perfectionism and shame, and how shame is created through stories of the ‘good girl’ we experience as children. Catherine shares her approach of working with clients to gain an embodied sense of being good enough in their mothering, helping to shift dysfunctional patterns in our families. . . . Follow Catherine: @psychotherapy_mum www.psychotherapymum.com Listen to the Grow Yourself Up podcast Read episode show notes page: https://drsophiebrock.com/podcast84 . . . EARLY enrolment for Sophie's course The Motherhood Studies Practitioner Certification 2023 ends Wednesday 23rd November. Early enrolment includes bonus masterclass and group calls, and capacity to join course on a 12 month payment plan. More information - https://drsophiebrock.com/motherhoodstudies/

In this short episode I share some of my reflections about the creation of my latest program The Liberating Motherhood Experience. This is a program that I've been thinking about for many months but it's been within the space of a week that the program structure has landed with me (while listening to the audiobook of Gabor Maté's latest book, which I reference in the program). In this episode I share what WOULD be an 'easy' and 'appealing' selling point when it comes to the liberation of motherhood, but one that I believe is not actually possible.... I then share where I think our place of agency and power is in what we CAN do in the working towards the liberation of motherhood. Within this episode I walk you through the narrative arc of The Liberating Motherhood Experience and what you can expect from the program. Join The Liberating Motherhood Experience for $50AUD and joining before Saturday 12th November, 2022 gives you access to a live 90min group call + replay, where we come together in connection and reflection on how we witness/experience motherhood and what it means to ENACT a practice of liberation. Join here: https://drsophiebrock.com/liberatingmotherhood Watch fishtank animation here: https://drsophiebrock.com/thefishtankofmotherhood

Today I speak with doula, mentor and women’s circle facilitator Rachael Rose. Rachael works to build community around motherhood, and is driven by a desire for mothers to feel less alone as they journey through rites of passage such as pregnancy, birth, postpartum, launching and running a business, and navigating the complexities of mothering in the modern world. She is a strong advocate for community making and re-villaging in ways that are practical, honest and simple. She's also very frank about the need for mothers to actively pursue and maintain relationships, and that community takes effort, time and a little discomfort. We discuss what she's learned from being a circle facilitator and mentor, and what she feels mothers are needing most right now. She shares her own experiences with mothering and business, and what she has learned since the birth of her first child. Rachael Rose is a mother of two, a pregnancy and postpartum doula and women’s circle facilitator. Rachael wants mothers to be seen and celebrated, to feel loved and less alone. She is utterly obsessed with creating spaces of connection for women, through her circle work. Rachael has recently released Together, her online Women’s Circle Facilitator Training and over 130 women from all over the world have joined. She would love to offer listeners a $50 discount off Together, with the coupon code GOODENOUGH, for the first 20 enrolments. https://www.rachaelrose.com.au/together?coupon=GOODENOUGH That brings the price to $349AUD. https://drsophiebrock.com/podcast83

Today I talk with doula, coach and mother, Jessie Harrold. Jessie is passionate about navigating the transition into motherhood with trust and confidence. Jessie talks to the experience of both losing and finding ourselves in motherhood, and how bounce-back culture overlooks the hard work of navigating huge identity shifts. She shares what happens after the first 40 days of motherhood, how to reorient our lives around newly defined values and priorities as parents, and ways to make sense of pivotal moments. We dive into the shifts that occur in our relationships, and how we can take responsibility for creating our place of belonging in our communities. Jessie shares her work supporting mothers to lean into the liminal nature of postpartum, understanding it as a slow yet profound process of stepping into our motherhood identity, with all the meaning, joy and grief that comes along with it. She encourages new mothers to ask themselves, at many points along the journey ‘who am I now’? And to continue asking questions of ourselves as we become, and continue to evolve, as mothers. Follow Jessie at @jessie.es.harrold and head to the show notes for episode highlights and links to Jessie's quiz and programs https://drsophiebrock.com/podcast82

Today’s episode is with author and child activist Zoe Haack. We discuss Zoe’s work supporting parents to navigate the critical period of birth to 5 years, as they learn what it means to become parents. Zoe’s approach is to look at the intergenerational patterns of parenting we inherent, and how to bring awareness to the ways in which we would like to parent our children going forward, and to see them as unique individuals with value to share. Zoe explains the importance of reflecting upon the way we were treated as children, and to realise how we are seeing our own children through the lens of how we were raised. Zoe shares how the most important thing is being able to approach ourselves and our children with compassion and to have awareness of the language we use. We also ask, how can we be more free to enjoy our children? How do we parent the child in front of us, and not base our decisions on outside influences and education? How do we aim to meet the cultural demands of the society around us? And where could we let some of that go, to allow ourselves to be oriented towards joy? Because children are experts at following the joy and can teach us so much. https://drsophiebrock.com/podcast81 About Zoe: Zoe Haack is an author, child activist and thought leader on growth through osmosis. She sees a world where our natural rhythms are restored, and children lead. She recognises the innate wisdom of childhood and implores adults to see beyond the confines of societal structures to regain sovereignty. An avid researcher and remarkable storyteller, Zoe revolutionises the way educators prioritise trust, freedom, and autonomy for children. https://www.facebook.com/zoe.haack.childactivist https://www.instagram.com/zoe.haack.childactivist/ https://akunaconcepts.com

What does it actually mean to say that motherhood is 'social' or 'constructed' through our culture? Why should we care about motherhood-culture and how does it impact and influence individual mothers, and our children? What is the perfect mother myth, how does it show up in our lives, and what can we do about shifting how we feel about ourselves as mothers? What's the alternative? These are some of the questions I speak to in this episode. Find out more on the episode webpage here: https://drsophiebrock.com/podcast80 If you leave a review of the podcast, I'll send a little 'thank you' in the mail :) Pop your postal details in here - forms.gle/uaDvhtFYnUQvG69EA *Please note that this episode mentions suicidality.

Redefining our careers and purpose as mothers with Amy Taylor-Kabbaz In this episode I speak with best-Selling author, speaker, journalist, Matrescence Activist and Mama of three, Amy Taylor-Kabbaz. We examine the individual and social costs, consequences and challenges of mothers navigating and engaging in paid work and building/maintaining careers in a system that isn’t set up for mothers. Amy shares her experience of this, the development of her business, and how the way we ‘work’ shapes how we see and experience ourselves as women and mothers. We discuss some of the social and structural barriers that face mothers and what it can mean to contribute to the world through our mothering and a career. We reflect on re-valuing the role of the mother within our society, and the need for institutional and system change to better support and value women when we become mothers. Connect with Amy further by following @amytaylorkabbaz/ Check out Amy’s Mama Rising® coaching certification training and enrol using Sophie’s link here - https://bit.ly/3SaXXIz See full show notes and resources for the episode here - https://drsophiebrock.com/podcast79 If you leave a review of the podcast, I'll send a little 'thank you' in the mail :) Pop your postal details in here - forms.gle/uaDvhtFYnUQvG69EA

In today’s conversation I talk with perinatal clinical psychologist Dr Caroline Boyd, discussing the topics in her recent book ‘Mindful New Mum: A Mind-Body Approach to the Highs and Lows of Motherhood’. We explore the pressures of modern motherhood and the impossible expectations mothers face. In doing so, we consider how we can reevaluate some of the patterns and beliefs that we have internalised about what it means to be a mother. What are some ways we learn to tolerate our feelings, without self blame, without criticism, and hold both joy and grief at the same time? Can we be a gentle parent, yet also give ourselves permission to be angry? We also discuss how the pandemic illuminated the gaps in care and the harsh reality of modern parenting without the support systems required to thrive. . . . Links: Buy a copy of Caroline’s book here - https://www.dk.com/uk/book/9780241531365-mindful-new-mum/ Follow her on Instagram @_drboyd Explore more of Caroline’s work: https://drcarolineboyd.com . . . If you leave a review of the podcast, I'll send a little 'thank you' in the mail :) Pop your postal details in here - https://forms.gle/uaDvhtFYnUQvG69EA

In this episode I’m speaking with matrescence educator Nikki McCahon about her work, journey into motherhood, and framework for understanding and navigating matrescence. Nikki shares about her postpartum and her experience of an ‘identity death’, and how she made sense of her transformation through the framework of the four seasons. As part of our conversation Nikki speaks to how a seasonal and cyclical lens can provide a framework for navigating times of transition and challenge in our mothering journeys, helping to orient us. This approach can provide us with more space for self compassion and identity expansion, when we are able to name and challenge the limitations in place when life experiences - and the journey through mothering - are framed as linear processes. We explore the importance of leaning on others to provide support and how to fully be in the seasons of receiving as a mother. We discuss the disjuncture that exists between this desire and an honouring of our matrescence journeys, while living within a society that glorifies bounce-back culture. The ‘endless summer’ that is placed on a pedestal of constant growth minimises the complexity and the gifts that can be within sitting in the truth of whatever season we’re currently navigating. Nikki uses some beautiful analogies from the natural world to make sense of life’s big moments, seeing ourselves beyond what we can do for others, and to value the opportunity to meet ourselves in deeper ways as we journey through motherhood. ... BIO: Nikki McCahon is a matrescence educator, women’s life cycle guide, podcast host and mother to her six year old son. As a matrescence educator and guide, Nikki helps mothers navigate the often unexpected changes and challenges of becoming and being a mother, whilst simultaneously supporting mothers to explore the opportunities that mothering can provide for their own personal growth and expansion. Her model - the seasons of matrescence - applies a seasonal and cyclical lens to matrescence, providing a map for mothers to use when navigating times of change and transition and support to explore their matrescence journey within the context of their broader life cycle and rites of passage. Nikki is passionate about creating community and normalising the physical, psychological, and emotional changes women go through during matrescence. In 2017 Nikki founded Australia's largest meet-up community for mums, which grew to 40,000 members in three years, before it was acquired by a national not for profit, the centre of perinatal excellence (COPE) in 2020. Her work now focuses on providing matrescence guidance and education to mothers through her podcast and group programs, and supporting those who work with mothers to integrate matrescence education, guidance and support into their practice through her Seasons of Matrescence teacher training program. Connect with Nikki - @nikkimccahon / and join the waitlist for the 2023 intake of the Seasons of Matrescence training - https://courses.nikkimccahon.com/som

In today’s podcast conversation with Kat River, we explore the question of ‘how can we disrupt our ideas of what motherhood means, to redefine it for ourselves, through our creativity?’ Kat is a retreat facilitator, former couples coach, and speaker who talks about her transition from maiden to mother, drawing on tools of creativity to honour and traverse self transformation through becoming a mother. Kat shares her insights on how motherhood has encouraged her to deepen and change her relationship to her work, her creativity, her relationships, and her identity. This involves navigating boundaries and priorities, examining inner fears and beliefs around a loss of independence and taking 'time out', and learning how to facilitate opportunities for our life and work focusses to evolve, change and shift. We reflect on how the postpartum period has the potential to be an invitation for deeper self knowledge, the importance of self-witnessing and honouring ourselves in a transitional time, and how it can be a training ground for our lives. We also look at relationships and codependency, fulfilment, and navigating the unexpected sides of motherhood with ‘leaps of faith’; relinquishing a sense of perceived control, while also recognising the structural and contextual challenges mothers also face. This is a conversation that speaks to the possibilities of exploring a life of integration between mother, woman, and creator, and allowing fluidity in how we see ourselves and the world. Kat River lives in the Noosa hinterland with her husband Tully & two year old son Rafi. Kat is a multicreative expressionist, and hosts a slow podcast "Mother Maker" centered towards mother creatives, mother entrepreneurs, mother mystics and intuitive motherhood. Those who are finding their own harmony (And often not harmony) between motherhood, and creative/work/career pursuits. She supports mother creatives in their magnificence through Mother Maker, as it evolves from a podcast, to events, retreats and a festival to cultivate community and reimagining the modern village of motherhood... though above all else, navigating the slow days of motherhood, and raising a little wildling. You can find Kat on her instagram: @the.kat.river and turn on post notifications if you want to keep up with everything she shares. Her podcast is "Mother Maker" and available on spotify, Apple Podcasts & Anchor. Email is [email protected]

This podcast episode is an unpacking and discussion of the recent Netflix production The Lost Daughter, based on the novel of the same name by the pseudonymous Italian novelist Elena Ferrante and directed by Maggie Gyllenhaal. The film explores the textured, complex, nuanced, challenging parts of the mothering experience and positioning of motherhood culturally. The themes explored shine a light on the shadow side of being a mother, the boundaries of maternal ‘transgressions’, and the experience of maternal ambivalence. To reflect on the film, I’m joined in conversation by Julianne Boutaleb, a passionate and highly experienced perinatal psychologist who has worked for over 15 years in the NHS and private practice with parents and parents-to-be and their babies. Julianne and I discuss the importance of this film in exploring the complex and raw portrayal of motherhood on our screens, something we so rarely see examined in such a demanding and articulate way. We look at mothering and the experience of maternal violence, peacemaking and repair, and explore the gap between the idealised version of motherhood versus what is real. We ask and explore questions such as - what do we do with the loss of the imagined future we had before having our children? What are ‘maternal transgressions’ of the ‘bad mother’ and who defines these? Who decides which are acceptable and which ones aren't? What stories and rules have we internalised as mothers, and where have these come from? What standards are we holding ourselves to as mothers? We look at the possibility of self-erasure and self-surveillance, and explore why it could be helpful to start with the basic premise that we are never going to always meet our child's emotional needs, and why perhaps that's not our job. This is a powerful episode full of interesting discussion on the cultural, social and deeply personal experience of mothering and the sacrifice, tension and fierce love involved. Acknowledging that this film can raise challenging, fraught, and sometimes painful responses in viewers, if you find aspects of this podcast conversation raises difficult feelings for you, please reach out for support. Support lines Australia - https://www.panda.org.au/ - 1300 726 306 UK - https://pandasfoundation.org.uk/ - 0808 1961 776 USA - https://www.postpartum.net/ - Text “Help” to 800-944-4773 (EN) Podcast notes: Cultured magazine: ‘In the lost daughter mums are people too’ - Mariah Kreutter. https://www.culturedmag.com/article/2022/01/13/in-emthe-lost-daughter-em-moms-are-people-too The Guardian: ‘How The Lost Daughter confronts one of our most enduring cultural taboos’ - Adrian Horton https://www.theguardian.com/film/2022/jan/05/the-lost-daughter-elena-ferrante-maggie-gyllenhaal-motherhood Winnicott’s theory of A Good Enough Mother Sara Ruddick; Feminist philosopher and the author of Maternal Thinking: Toward a Politics of Peace Foucault and Jeremy Bentham’s panopticon Melanie Klein; Austrian-British author and psychoanalyst known for her work in child analysis.

This episode is designed to be a little tonic; a moment of presence and space to breathe. I am talking with Sophie Burch (aka The Mamma Coach). Sophie is a mother, an author, founder and leader of the Beyond Birth Collective, an executive director and trainer for Perinatal Mental Health Training CIC, hypnobirthing practitioner, baby massage teacher, holistic and pregnancy massage therapist, and more. Sophie is on a mission to bring mental health awareness and emotional wellbeing practices into the lives of all parents, and in this episode she gives us some amazing strategies, tools and perspectives to really support us in our everyday experience of mothering. Sophie takes us through a beautiful process that can be used at any time which can create a sense of safety and calm. She also shares what to do when self-care feels like just another thing we have to add onto our to-do lists, and some ways we can tend to our nervous systems. You’ll hear about what Sophie has observed in mothers within her work, and the massive load they’re carrying. We look at what modern parenting means to us, and the significant shift in consciousness she has perceived recently. Sophie shares the one wish that she has for all parents in the world right now, and the importance of fostering self-connection and agency in our lives. . . . Connect with Sophie: https://themammacoach.com/about https://www.instagram.com/themammacoach/ Sophie's book, 'Beyond Birth: A Mindful Guide to Early Parenting': https://www.amazon.co.uk/dp/B08VYBPNKL?ref_=pe_3052080_397514860 Sophie's Mental Wellbeing Practitioner Certified Training: https://themammacoach.com/beyond-birth-sign-up

In this episode I share 5 different ways that my understanding of the social construction of motherhood helped me to step into my power as a single mother. I wanted to share this episode as a lived-reality example of how theory, concepts, and understandings can come to unveil new possibilities for how we lead and live our lives as mothers. I talk about the nuclear family and how it is held up as an 'ideal' in our society, the pulling down of facades, how the 'family' is socially constructed and our capacity to create fluidity in what the 'family' means, and the opportunity in unpacking social scripts that we inherit about what it means to be a mother. In the episode I mention the Council for Single Mothers and their Children - https://www.csmc.org.au/ and the 3min animation of The Fish Tank of Motherhood Model - https://drsophiebrock.com/thefishtankofmotherhood

A behind the scenes insight into my creation of The Motherhood Studies course, and an insight into the 2022 round of the program. Program starts June 20th, enrolment closes June 16th. If you'd like to talk through any questions you have before joining, book a discovery call here - https://calendly.com/motherhoodstudies/certification-consult-calls If there are no times left please feel free to email your query to [email protected] To enrol head to - https://drsophiebrock.com/motherhoodstudies/

In this conversation with Fiona you’ll hear us both talk about our personal experiences of mothering our children and some of the challenges we’ve experienced (and continue to experience). Fiona shares how understanding information about temperament, sensory preferences, and connection-based, relationship-building parenting ‘tools’, can transform how we see our children - and ourselves. You’ll hear us discuss*: - How to contextualise and understand our experiences of parenting, to support us in trying to see the world through our children’s eyes - What the 'goodness of fit' is and why it matters in our parenting - How to recognise quirks in your child as temperamental tendencies, temperament traits or sensitivity traits - Meeting our children not only where they’re at, but also as who they are - How to understand who your children are, with all of their temperament traits and sensory preferences - The importance of how we perceive our children and why this really matters in how we parent them - Why separation based techniques don’t necessarily work for children - Giving yourself permission as a parent to hold that bigger, holistic focus in parenting in mind as we navigate day-to-day challenges - Why it’s more common than you think that parents feel resentment towards their child or baby - What attuning to our children actually means Founder of Mama Matters, Fiona is a Social Worker turned Infant Sleep Specialist. She provides attachment-centred, real-life parenting and sleep support to responsive parents and their renegade babies and kids. She is passionate about busting through the mistruths of the mainstream sleep industry and empowering parents to parent in alignment with their values, with evidence-based, biologically normal sleep advice and relationship-centred approaches to optimising sleep and wellbeing for families. Connect with Fiona further - www.mamamatters.com.au www.instagram.com/mamamatters.au/ [email protected] Podcast: Mama Chatters Explore Fiona’s offerings: www.mamamatters.com.au/workwithme . . . The Motherhood Studies Practitioner Certification 2022 begins June 20th. Enrolment is currently open, closing June 16th. Learn more and here - https://drsophiebrock.com/motherhoodstudies/ . . . *explicit language in this episode

I'm often asked this question and in the spirit of relaunching the podcast felt it might be helpful to share the path I've taken to becoming a Motherhood Studies Sociologist - essentially a social scientist whose focus is Mothers and Motherhood. This episode is another personal share where I talk about: - how I first discovered Motherhood Studies - what it was like researching this area before I was a Mother myself - why I came to be interested in my subject matter - tracing back to my own family experience - my journey of finishing my studies, becoming pregnant, going through a divorce and reorienting my career focus to lead me to what I do today I hope this episode offers you some insight into my journey and leads you to reflect on your own evolving journey of your 'self' in the context of your broader relationships, life experiences, and motherhood. . . . If you'd like to join me for the Introduction to Motherhood Studies Webinar Wednesday June 1st 8.30pm AEST, register to reserve your place. If you can't attend live you will receive a replay to watch in your own time. https://drsophiebrock.com/introductiontomotherhoodstudies Content covered: - What is Motherhood Studies? - Where did Motherhood Studies come from? - Why you likely haven’t heard more about Motherhood Studies yet - What some of the key Motherhood Studies teachings are from a sociological perspective - The ‘missing pieces’ and gaps in current knowledge and practice - An overview of Sophie’s conceptual frameworks and theoretical contributions - How Motherhood Studies informed theory can help you and your clients

Hello and welcome back, or welcome for the first time! In this episode I share: - where things have been for me as a mother, creator and business owner over the last 6 months or so - why I took a step back from podcast recording - what my purpose is in relaunching the podcast All of my work is focused on examining the social structures and cultural narratives of Motherhood that individual mothers live within, and as a mother who lives within the very society and culture I'm critiquing, I'm of course subject to its challenges! Also being a business owner, entrepreneur, and independent academic, brings with it experiences where I'm navigating what I call the 'care/career conundrum' in a way that allows me flexibility but also sometimes a lack of stability as a consequence of the 'piecing together of the puzzle'. This navigation is also in the context of my experience as a single mother, and some health challenges my daughter has experienced recently. I talk through some of these challenges in the context of my own personal experiences as both a mother and professional. . . . Join the waitlist for the 2022 round of The Motherhood Studies Practitioner Certification beginning June 20th - https://drsophiebrock.com/motherhoodstudies/

What have we been led to believe about the ‘mummy wars’ and how do they relate to patriarchal motherhood and ‘the perfect mother myth’? These are the questions I address in this episode of the podcast, where I offer a new lens through which to understand ‘mummy wars’. This is with an intention of helping you develop an ‘antenna’ as a cultural assessor, where you can pick up, observe, get curious about, and assess instances where you see the ‘mummy wars’ either playing out OR being referred to. I describe the mummy wars as both a symptom of AND a product of patriarchal Motherhood – creating environments where we come to judge ourselves and each other. The sense of ‘competition’ that is spoken about in motherhood is also a reflection of the social narratives around competition and comparison between women – and mothers especially. I suggest that this priming into focusing on other mothers (and judging ourselves) is part of what dilutes our power and potential for changing the broader culture and systems that impact Mothers. I explain how and why the ‘mummy wars’ can only be sustained and produced if ‘boxes’ and categories of ‘types of mothers’ exist. Sometimes labels can be helpful tools to allow us to find a sense of belonging within community, and build identity. But sometimes the very tools we draw on to build our sense of identity and connection within motherhood, can shift into constraining limits. A deconstruction of the ‘mummy wars’ actually means reconstructing what it means to be a mother in our society and culture and reclaiming the fluidity and ever-changing nature of our identity. . . . I refer to my concepts of The Fish-Tank of Motherhood Model©, The Good Mother Bad Mother Binary© and The Care/Career Conundrum© Find graphics and information on all of these here: https://drsophiebrock.com/conceptualmodels

Anyone who has had children or cared for children knows that they contribute to the creation of housework! But the work that goes into the domestic sphere of housework, is different from the work that goes into care-giving and mothering. The two are connected, but conflating them as meaning the same thing, leads to huge pressures and ‘shoulds’ in Motherhood. This leads to feelings of guilt, comparison, inadequacy and overwhelm. Conflating housework and mothering can also invisibilise the nurturance, love, maternal thinking, and emotional labour that goes into raising children. I explain some of the reasons why I think the two are conflated - by talking about the 'public' and 'private' spheres of 'work' and 'home'. When mothering is devalued, and how ‘on top of’ the housework we are is connected with our value and worthiness as women and mothers – we can become trapped in never-ending cycles of never feeling ‘enough’. While unpacking these connections, I also explain why I caution against denigrating housework and seeing domestic labour as ‘lesser than’ other forms of work. I explain why I think the conflation of housework and mothering-work is a function of patriarchal Motherhood and the perfect mother myth, and call for us individually and collectively to begin breaking this association and reclaiming our power, our worth, and our value. . . . Watch 3min animation on Sophie's one-of-a-kind sociological model for understanding Motherhood - https://drsophiebrock.com/thefishtankofmotherhood

What remains ‘under the surface’ in Motherhood and still so taboo to talk about directly? ‘Mom-rage’. Minna Dubin published two articles in The New York Times on maternal rage. In this conversation we reflect on Minna’s experience of publishing on this taboo topic, as well as her journey in writing a book about ‘mom rage’ due out in 2023 (available for pre-order in 2022 through her website below). Minna is a writer, workshop facilitator and occasional public artist, located in California. Her essays and reported stories on motherhood and identity have appeared in outlets like The New York Times, Parents, HuffPost, The Forward, Hobart, and The Philadelphia Inquirer. You can read Minna’s articles that we refer to in this episode here: https://www.nytimes.com/2020/04/15/parenting/mother-rage.html?module=editors-picks&action=click&region=2 https://www.nytimes.com/2020/07/06/parenting/mom-rage-pandemic.html I ask Minna about her experience of writing a book about such a taboo topic, and she shares some insights from those she has interviewed. We reflect on the cycles of anger and guilt, shame spirals, factors that exacerbate maternal rage, the privilege that is drawn on in order to talk about this topic, how ‘speaking things into existence’ can make them seem more real, and why we are working to resist pathologization while still acknowledging the linking of maternal rage/anger with maternal mood disorders. . . . You can connect with Minna through her website and be sure to keep an eye out for the release of her book - http://minnadubin.com/ . . . Access Sophie’s free training on her sociological model of Motherhood here: https://drsophiebrock.com/freetraining Learn more about the certification beginning Sept 20th here: https://drsophiebrock.com/motherhoodstudies/ Access Sophie’s free training on the anger-guilt-trap cycle in Motherhood here: https://drsophiebrock.com/anger-guilt-trap . . . *Anger can be both normal, and a feature of a postnatal mood disorder such as postnatal depression or anxiety, please contact a health professional if you feel overwhelmed by maternal anger or rage. If you are experiencing anger or maternal rage that interferes with your daily life that you feel you cannot control, please make an appointment with your GP or trusted healthcare professional. Normalising the spectrum of emotions women as mothers feel does not equate with condoning aggression towards or neglect of children. . . . Support lines Australia - https://www.panda.org.au/ - 1300 726 306 UK - https://pandasfoundation.org.uk/ - 0808 1961 776 USA - https://www.postpartum.net/ - Text “Help” to 800-944-4773 (EN)

In this solo episode I reflect on my own journey of coming to Motherhood Studies and what is has meant to study Motherhood before coming a Mother myself. I share important distinctions between Motherhood the structure, Mothering the practice, and Mother the identity, and ponder on the ways our socialisation has set us up for a particular perspective on what it means to be a Mother and how this is perhaps connected to experiences of the ‘maternal’ being devalued socially and professionally. There is incredible power and potential in the practice of mothering and identity as a Mother, and we experience the complexity of our own matrescence journeys and rites of passage as Mothers. But these theories are distinct from (but connected to) the social institution of Motherhood that I critique, and that produces the perfect mother myth and its associated consequences. Making such distinctions allows us to be able to straddle the complexities and nuances that are so often necessary when discussing Motherhood, and supporting Mothers. In this episode I explore this claiming of space for the maternal, and reflect on the ways that Motherhood is simultaneously valorized and devalued, and how guilt is often a byproduct of our internalisation of patriarchal motherhood. . . . If you enjoyed this episode and would like to develop your lens as a ‘cultural assessor’ of Motherhood and explore more deeply the ways Motherhood is socially constructed, register for my upcoming free training. “The Fish-Tank of Motherhood Model” is a free training I’ll be running live on September 10th, 2021 at 8.30pm AEST (Sydney time). You can join me live on Zoom, or by registering you will also receive a replay of the training, available to watch for 7 days. Register for free training here: https://drsophiebrock.com/freetraining Find out more about The Motherhood Studies Practitioner Certification beginning September 20th here: https://drsophiebrock.com/motherhoodstudies

We may recognise, acknowledge, and seek to explore biological, psychological, and sociological dimensions that are involved in the transition to motherhood and experience of being a mother – but what about the ‘environmental’? Our environment and our relationship to the natural world is a critical lens through which we can interpret, explore, and understand our experience of Motherhood. This conversation is with Dr Allison Davis, a researcher, writer, counselor, and educator of maternal mental health. With an ecofeminist-informed, strength-based developmental framework she helps mothers challenge and reenvision motherhood norms and practices in pursuit of personal and planetary wellness. She’s also affiliate faculty at Alliant University where she teaches in the Masters of Clinical Counseling Program. Allison explores ‘mother praxis’, which is the possibility of a dynamic interplay between the THEORY and the PRACTICE of mothering, and in this conversation we explore what it means to bring in the environment through eco-therapy as a way of thinking about motherhood, and supporting Mothers. Allison invites us to consider a new way of thinking about the ‘motherwound’ through our attachment to nature, and we reflect on the ways our children can open up possibility for our own ecological awakening. . . . Follow Allison @motherpraxis Want to explore whether you’re experiencing an ecological awakening, and learn more about the foundational mother wound? Then check out Dr Allison’s Free Mother Praxis Primer: www.motherpraxis.com/primer If you’d like to book in a session with Allison you can do so here: http://www.motherpraxis.com/support/ . . . For more information on the next round of Sophie’s Motherhood Studies Certification program head to: https://drsophiebrock.com/motherhoodstudies/

In this episode I share my reflections on how the ‘perfect mother myth’ is linked to notions of productivity and worth, and add some nuance to the conversation about self-sacrifice in Motherhood. Sometimes, it can feel like there is a competition for busy-ness to try and prove how hard we are trying and how much it is we are carrying. At the same time though, there are tangible ways that make it feel like we can’t escape the weight of responsibilities, expectations, and demands that we face. It isn’t as easy as saying just ‘take a step back’. Sometime - if and when we do - there can be a lot of discomfort that arises, and in this episode I explore both what this can mean, where it comes from socially/culturally, and how we can use these experiences to open possibilities for rethinking what motherhood means. I offer a critique of individualism and explain some of the reasons why mothering work is so devalued in our society, as well as the ways our own internalization of martyrdom-motherhood can lead to feelings of resentment, anger and guilt. In this episode I rethink the common analogies we hear and use around filling of our ‘cups’ and placing of ‘oxygen masks’ on ourselves before others. This is with a view to disrupt some of the assumptions underlying what it means to be a ‘mother’ in our society, and challenge some of the beliefs we’ve internalized about our worth and value as women who mother. . . . Join The Liberated Motherhood Membership and get access to the members-only Liberated Motherhood podcast. Mini-episodes released every week. Current course: Transforming Martyrdom-Mothering https://drsophiebrock.com/liberatedmotherhood/

In this episode, Maha Al Musa, founder and creator of BellydanceBirth® and EmbodyBirthᵀᴹ shares her passion and advocacy for an expansion and reclaiming of what birth can mean, and how we as mothers experience and make meaning of our births. Maha is of Palestinian/Lebanese origin and draws on her cultural, ancestral, and mothering wisdom to teach her signature childbirth education and preparation programs for mothers-to-be and birth professionals. In the episode she shares part of her life story in being kidnapped as a baby and her connection to land and culture severed, and her amazing story of reconnection, right before she became a mother herself. Maha speaks about fear and patriarchy, the divisions that have been created between women when it comes to birth and motherhood, the rites of passage she has experienced through menopause and the powerful and revolutionary connections to be fostered between generations of women. . . . Maha is the author of Dance of the Womb: The Essential Guide to Belly Dance for Pregnancy and Birth book, endorsed by Dr Michel Odent, Sheila Kitzinger, Dr Sarah Buckley and the creator of the follow on BellydanceBirth® Practice Video Series (Dance of the Womb: A Gentle Guide to Belly Dance for Pregnancy and Birth). You can find her on Instagram @maha_al_musa Facebook at - https://www.facebook.com/mahaalmusabirthvisionary Maha’s website: mahaalmusa.com Online program: https://sales.mahaalmusa.com/embodybirth Virtual training: https://mahaalmusa.kartra.com/page/virtualtraining

“I know that women can remember the wholehearted ways of knowing carried deep in our bones to heal their own their own lives, and this work is the medicine needed to reweave the world.” Kamya O'Keeffe. This podcast episode traverses the the transitions we experience through motherhood, and their power and potential. While an emphasis on that initial transition into motherhood is so important, motherhood continues to be a portal through which we experience transitions as our children grow. In this conversation with Kamya O’Keeffe, we explore what these transitions can mean, the intergenerational connections between women and mothers, the cloak of invisibility that can be part of elderhood, and the dismantling of hierarchy between women as our site of power and connection. Kamya is a senior facilitator of Rites of Passage programmes and a mentor to women leaders. Kamya creates safety held rituals and circles through her presence and attention. She listens for the whispers and songs of the underground stream of our inner knowing, and she names the harmful cultural narratives and value systems at the source of our wounding, to disrupt the cycle of our mother wounds. She designs experiences that honour women with joy and celebration. . . . You can connect with Kamya O'Keeffee further through her Instagram at @kamyaokeeffe or find out more about the Rites of Passage programs on Facebook @theritesofpassageinstitute . . . Find out more about Sophie’s group The Liberated Motherhood Membership and join the July special of $149 for a 6 month membership bundle - https://drsophiebrock.com/liberatedmotherhood/

How do the pressures we experience both individually and contextually, shape the relationships we have with our partners, children, and ourselves, and what can we do to deepen our sense of connection? . . . This episode is with Michaela Thomas, an experienced Clinical Psychologist, Couples Therapist and founder of The Thomas Connection. She is also a speaker and author of The Lasting Connection, about developing compassion for yourself and your partner. Michaela has a special interest in perfectionism and parental mental health, and in this conversation we explore the interrelated ways that the pressures we experience and place on ourselves effect the relationship we have with our partners (if we’re partnered), ourselves, and our children. Michaela shares what she sees as being the biggest challenges of early parenthood for couples, and explains the differences between sacrifice and compromise, and how these can operate for new parents. We reflect on the disjuncture between our expectations of parenthood and the lived realities, and the tension between individual and structural responsibility for where we find ourselves, and how we move forward into change. Michaela shares her ‘pause, purpose, play’ model to help guide us into self-compassion and challenging the perfectionist pressures that pervade so many of the expectations of partnerships and parenthood. . . . You can find Michaela on Instagram @the_thomas_connection and Facebook @TheThomasConnection as well as on the podcast Pause Purpose Play with Michaela Thomas. You can purchase her book The Lasting Connection here: www.thethomasconnection.co.uk/thelastingconnection is the link for the book, and my couples and see her couples course here: www.thethomasconnection.co.uk/thecompassionatecouple

“We become mothers in the womb of society. A mother’s relationship with sex can’t be disentangled from how she feels about herself, how she feels about her partner, as well as how society impacts and constructs her worldview.” Sarah Forbes. This episode is with Sarah Forbes, a curator, sexual culturalist and author who has been dubbed a ‘sexpert supreme’ by Cosmopolitan Magazine. Sarah is trained as an anthropologist and spent a decade as the Curator of the Museum of Sex in New York, captured in her memoir ‘Sex in the Museum’. She is now working on her second book ‘Mama Sex’, an anthropological look at motherhood and sexuality. In this conversation Sarah explains how modern relationships and the mental load placed on mothers is representative of an anti-aphrodisiac cultural tsunami. This dive into motherhood and sexuality is framed by both individual questions of self and identity, as well as broader sociocultural and historical questions about how context shapes individual experiences. Sarah shares powerful insights into the potential that motherhood has as a pathway to sexual revolution. She speaks to the barriers and obstacles mothers face in their sexual fulfilment - leading to the ‘orgasm gap’ - and offers advice for how we can rebuild and strengthen our own relationship with our sexuality, without it having to be another thing on our to-do list. Head to Sarah’s website https://www.mamasexbook.com/ take the ‘Mama Sex’ quiz, and follow her at @mamasexbook and @curatorofsex

Our ongoing journey through Motherhood can involve a process of letting go as much as of new learning and growth. In this episode I reflect on the process of what it means to go on the journey of unpacking how we have internalised the ‘perfect mother myth’ and have been socialized into the expectations of what it means to be a ‘Mother’. The birth of a new awareness, and (re)creation of a new identity can feel alluring, exciting, liberating, and/or empowering. But it can also feel really unsettling, especially at first. This episode speaks to this experience and on how we can build new models of what it means to be a mother. I consider a model of ‘integrated’ motherhood, and invite you to reflect on some questions about your own sense of self and identity.

Maternal knowledge and the expertise we develop through the practice of mothering our children is often defined as being in the ‘private’ realm, while professionals are regarded as experts in the ‘public’ realm. When the two are brought together, there can be collision and challenge, and/or there can be the meeting of experience and expertise in a way that is powerful, transformative, and enriching for our children. This conversation about this meeting point, is with Emily Adler Mosqueda, M.S., CCC-SLP who is a bilingual and bicultural pediatric speech-language pathologist, associate clinical professor, and mother of two. Emily experienced postpartum depression late in her second postpartum, and has become an advocate teaching about parental mental health factors to her graduate speech-language pathology students. In this episode we reflect on the intersection of knowledge, experience, and authority, and the claiming of maternal authority and utilizing of professional expertise. Speaking of the experience of both being a mother, and working in supporting mothers, Emily also shares how the development of maternal thinking as mothers can inform and enrich our careers. Connect with Emily at emilyadlermosqueda.com and on Instagram @emily.adler.mosqueda and her account @postpartum365 where she shares peer-reviewed research on postpartum and Motherhood Studies topics in an effort to shift the cultural understanding of how long the postpartum time is, and how to centralize mothers in their mothering and experience of motherhood. Emily is also the author of the free children’s book My Big Feelings and The Big Bad Virus available at mybigfeelings.com in English and Spanish.

How do we navigate challenging the model of self-sacrificial motherhood to ‘find ourselves’ as Mothers, when our children need us so intensely and we lack adequate support? What narratives do we attach to our identities and the ‘roles’ we occupy, and how do we foster connection with who we really are? How do we move from acceptance of our circumstances, into action to claim a sense of agency, while maintaining mothering – and interdependence - as a high value? These are some of the questions that Chasity and I discuss in this episode, covering the complex but foundational topic of ‘identity’ in Motherhood, while sharing how we each relate to our sense of ‘self’ as women and mothers. Chasity from Momfully You is a licensed Therapist, coach, and founder of Momfully You Academy – an online community helping mothers reclaim their identity and fully love the authentic version of themselves. In her wisdom as both a therapist and Mother, Chasity shares the differences between ‘inadequacy’ and ‘enoughness’, why she embraces ‘practice over progress’, and how she implements into her own life what she teaches. Connect with Chasity @momfully.you or https://momfullyyou.com/

What is maternal ambivalence and how can embracing ambivalence help us as Mothers? I share what maternal ambivalence is and isn’t, whether it is something we can ‘escape’ in motherhood, and how ambivalence is connected to ‘Mum guilt’ and our sense of identity. Ambivalence can be a way for us to shift and change our relationship to and experience of maternal guilt. In this episode I offer some suggestions for how you might ignite your own curiosity in exploring ambivalence further. I explain the connections between ambivalence and the perfect mother myth, and why the version of Motherhood that is put on a pedestal in our society robs us of the opportunity to embrace ambivalence. This then shapes our capacity to feel the full potential of joy and depth of experience that may be available to us. This episode invites you to reflect on your own experiences of Mum guilt, of where you’re being expected or asked to ‘choose’ in Motherhood, of how you construct your sense of identity and think about your 'self', and how you may be able to open yourself to the possibility of embracing ambivalence as a Mother.

Have you ever felt judged as a mother based on the way your child has behaved? In this episode I discuss the concept of the ‘good child’ and how it relates to the ‘good mother’ concept – also known as the perfect mother myth. In the same ways that mothers experience social pressures and expectations around how we should act and behave, our children also live within social pressure, and this starts at infancy. I reflect on the markers of the ‘good baby’ up until the ‘good teenager’ and share findings from my PhD research on the consistent 5 themes/traits of the ‘good child’ identified across my research interviews. Both the ‘good child’ and the ‘good mother’ rely on compliance and people-pleasing, but they can also be what help us to foster a sense of belonging and social acceptance. This is part of why such concepts can remain so powerful, and yet I argue that they actually fuel many of our maternal experiences of resentment, anger, and guilt. The connection between the ‘good mother’ and ‘good child’ actually sets up mothers and our children up to experience DISconnection – from ourselves, and each other. Examining these concepts and how they show up for us and our children allows us to cultivate broader perspectives on the dynamics that are at play as we mother, as well as challenge correlations often made between our children, our mothering, and our worthiness. . . . If you work with Mothers and want to support them further through integrating sociological understandings of Motherhood into your practice, consider The Motherhood Studies Practitioner Certification beginning April 12th. Find out more info here - https://drsophiebrock.com/motherhoodstudies/

The social construction of Motherhood impacts us as individual mothers. This is the case even when we resist the ‘shoulds’. In this episode I discuss what some of these impacts are and draw on the analogy of the ‘fish tank’ to help describe how we come to experience the social dimensions of Motherhood on an individual level, and why it is important to consider ‘culturally detoxing’ from intensive mothering ideology – and how much this process is even possible. I point to the ways that guilt, mother-blame, and a ‘loss’ of self and identity are a consequence of living within patriarchal Motherhood, and the ways we are set up to ‘choose’ between binaries as women and mothers, such as that of the Madonna or the whore and the self-less or the self-ish Mother. This episode covers research on mental health outcomes for Mothers as a result of living within the current cultural construction of Motherhood, and I share the process I’ve undergone in considering the purpose and direction of my work with my Liberated Motherhood group after reading this research. While the experience of being a Mother is one that is so personal, changing the cultural construction of Motherhood that shapes individual experience is a public, social, political, professional, and cultural issue. If you work with mothers and would like to be part of this change, consider enrolling in The Motherhood Studies Practitioner Certification online course, beginning April 12, 2021 - https://drsophiebrock.com/motherhoodstudies/

Janet Fraser’s story is one that I think every woman and mother needs to hear. As she says, when feminists said the personal was political, they probably did not anticipate in how many ways this could be true. Janet’s baby was born still. She was then subjected to a police investigation, a coronial inquiry, media scrutiny, and public vitriol. As she articulates in her book and explains in this episode, Janet was punished for her activism for birthing women, and her refusal to be an ‘obedient mother’. This conversation shares both Janet’s personal experience, while also discussing the broader systems of our culture, society, and institutions that we live within as women and mothers. We talk about the way this can create polarization between us in motherhood, the public ‘owning’ of women’s emotions, bodily autonomy in birth, the problems with talking about ‘choice’, and the complexity of grief. Janet is a mother, poet, historian, and has been National Convenor of the Australian homebirth network, Joyous Birth since 2004. She writes at Patreon, where she foments women’s studies and revolution at Despatches from the Matriarchy. You can catch her on Facebook and Twitter. Order Janet's book, 'Born Still: A Memoir of Grief' - https://www.spinifexpress.com.au/shop/p/9781925950120

As mothers, we shoulder the burden of structural inadequacies but can feel these inadequacies as personal failings – like it is all ‘on us’. As so many of us are mothering in isolation, without the support or community that we need, this is so often the case - it IS left up to us and us alone. We are also socialised into taking individual responsibility for what are collective challenges, and sold the ‘solutions’ of doing more, buying more, and being ‘better’. Understanding how and why the social construction of motherhood fails mothers (and our children) and sets us up to experience fatigue, guilt, and disconnection, is the first step to challenging this cultural construction. But it can be difficult to then take these understandings and create real shifts in our beliefs and practices as women who mother. We can feel ‘stuck’ – especially if working towards such changes is framed in any way as a ‘taking away’ of our children. This is part of what I discuss in this episode with Beth Berry – author of Motherwhelmed, founder of Revolution From Home, and Mother to four daughters. Beth shares her wisdom and insights as a Mother, writer, activist, life coach and circle facilitator as we become what she terms ‘soul-fire stewards’ to rise up, cultivate our agency, and ‘mother ourselves back to wholeness’. Connect with Beth on social media @revolutionfromhome and buy a copy of her book Motherwhelmed here - https://revolutionfromhome.com/

In this episode I address what I believe are some misunderstandings about the concept and application of the ‘good enough’ mother as an approach to parenting. I recognise the subjective, complex, and changing use of language – as it is attached to meaning – and share some of the challenges involved in actually enacting a theory like this in our everyday lived reality as mothers. This involves defending the value of good enough mothering as an approach, and describing some of the benefits that it can offer to us and our children. I also discuss some of the costs of subscribing to intensive mothering ideology – or the ‘perfect mother myth’ – as motivation for us to consider integrating a ‘good enough mothering’ perspective. I share my own interpretation of what I see ‘good enough mothering’ to mean, which guides both my work with Mothers, and my own mothering of my daughter.

Did you know that a Mother’s brain is more malleable and receptive to learning after giving birth? In this episode of TGEM I chat with Dr Jodi Pawluski, behavioural neuroscientist and therapist about the fascinating effects of motherhood on the maternal brain. We talk about whether ‘Mummy brain’ actually exists, and the interplay between both social and physiological factors that shape our experience of mothering. Dr Pawluski reflects on what has been left out and not yet explored in neuroscience when it comes to motherhood, and I ask her about the brain differences between those of us who give birth to a baby, compared with fathers and other caregivers. We open up discussion about the plasticity of our brains, and how the changes we go through when we become Mothers impact relationships, attachment, and so much more. You can connect with Dr Pawluski through her website https://www.jodipawluski.com/ listen to her podcast Mommy Brain Revisited, and find her on Instagram @dr.jodi_pawluski

This final episode of 2020 is a reflection on the ways perfect motherhood shapes the lives of mothers, and explains how and why the festive season and other celebrations intensify and amplify this pressure. I give voice to the often-invisible load that women carry at this time and the expectations on mothers, children, and the ‘family’ unit to ‘perform’. I reflect on the mental load, but also on some of the challenges in having the only solutions suggested as ‘stepping back’ or ‘delegating’. I pose questions to consider about the extent to which mothers are expected to sacrifice their wellbeing to facilitate the enjoyment of others, how we have been conditioned to want to ‘please’ others, but also the complex dynamics involved when it comes to wanting to ‘give’ to our children. This leads to a consideration of how our worthiness is measured, and purpose is defined. Ultimately, cultivating connection with ourselves as Mothers offers a precious gift of ‘presence’ to ourselves and our family.

Dr Greer Kirshenbaum is the first ever neuroscientist doula and is founder of Nurture Neuroscience. She has worked in academic neuroscience labs, studying how genetics and experience shape the brain, nervous system and body to influence lifelong physical and mental health. Greer uses her knowledge and expertise from the scientific world to offer that research and information directly to parents and educators. In this episode she shares some of this information, including how and why the early years of childhood are so important, the ways genetics and early life experiences shape the nervous system, how and why infancy is classified as 0-3 years old, the nature of emotional regulation, the history of care, the importance of epigenetics, and so much more. We also talk about mothering within this context of knowing how we may want to nurture our children, and yet facing many barriers and challenges in being able to offer this type of care. This conversation is part of us moving towards a ‘Nurture Revolution’ as Greer terms it, and recognising how this is also connected to revolutionalising how we understand and experience Motherhood. You can connect with Greer through her Instagram @nurture_neuroscience_parenting Facebook @NurtureNeuroscience and her website is https://www.nurtureneuro.com/

This is a conversation about grief and mothering, and the complex challenges that arise when not only grieving the death of your child, but in also supporting your children who are grieving the death of their sibling. I speak with Emma Poore, mother to 3 children, writer, illustrator, and author of ‘Where are you Lydie?’ – a picture book for young siblings and families managing the loss of a baby or young child. Emma has written and illustrated this book honouring her daughter Lydie and her family’s bereavement journey through the eyes of their young sons, George and Henry. The book is endorsed by Sands Charity and recommended by a growing number of Bereavement charities and healthcare professionals, and is a resource for us as parents to open up space for difficult conversations with our children about death. We talk about Emma’s journey into motherhood, the nature of grief, and the importance of language. You can purchase a copy of ‘Where is Lydie?’ through Emma’s website www.emmapoore.co.uk

What does ‘conscious parenting’ mean and how does it afford us the opportunity for growth as mothers? This conversation is with Bridget Wood, thought leader on human behaviour and mother to three young children. Bridget discusses the ways conscious parenting is ultimately about being in relationship with our children, recognising that our child is teaching us just as much as we are teaching them. We discuss the ways our perspectives on the world frame our reality, and the ways this can be both a challenge and an opportunity. We consider the ways ‘gentle parenting’ on a pedestal can sometimes feel like a cage, and the importance of giving both ourselves and our children permission to be fully human. We finish by reflecting on how sitting with discomfort can sometimes be what leads us into our power. You can connect with Bridget further through http://www.nourishingthemother.com/ and find out more about her program DISRUPT here http://www.suburbansandcastles.com/programs-and-coaching

This conversation about breastfeeding may be unlike any you’ve heard so far. I speak with world-renowned breastfeeding expert Professor Amy Brown from Swansea University, who specialises in research exploring early experiences of parenthood with a focus on infant feeding, mental health and normal baby behaviour. We talk about the pressure mothers are under to ‘get it right’ and how this is connected to expectations of both being a ‘good mother’ and having a ‘good baby’. Amy shares insights on the changing landscape of breastfeeding research and public policy over the last 14 years, and some more recent shifts in creating space to honour women’s grief when they aren’t able to breastfeed. We discuss the complex and sometimes confusing narratives that exist around infant feeding, power, grief, anger, and how mothers are often set up to blame ourselves.

*Trigger warning – talk of intrusive harm thoughts. Perhaps surprisingly, having unwanted and intrusive thoughts as a mother is incredibly common, and in fact – almost universal. Yet, how often is this spoken about in motherhood? In this episode I interview Dr Caroline Boyd, a chartered clinical psychologist who is an expert on intrusive, unwanted harm thoughts that mothers have about their babies. We talk about the connection between harm thoughts and actually causing harm to our children, where harm thoughts come from, some reasons as to why we have them, and what we can do in response to these thoughts. Caroline warns against interpreting us having such harm thoughts as meaning we’re a ‘bad mother’. We reflect on the projection of perfectionism and mothering myths, and the ways intensive mothering contributes to the stigma, shame, guilt, and challenges that mothers face. You can reach Caroline at https://drcarolineboyd.com/ or through Instagram @_drboyd Note – Fathers do also report experiencing these thoughts too, but to a slightly lesser degree to Mothers. If this episode raises any concerns for you please visit your GP. You can also reach out to Caroline or Sophie, and/or contact the services below: UK: PaNDAS - 0808 1961 776 AUS: PANDA - 1300 726 306 USA: Postpartum Support International - 1-800-944-4773(4PPD)

In this solo episode I reflect on the cultural construction of Motherhood as a ‘mask’ that we are expected to wear. We recognise, internalise and perform what it means to be a ‘good mother’ in our society. The power of this mask of Motherhood is that we are expected to wear it as our ‘natural’ state. It is supposed to come effortlessly, without complaint. We can convince ourselves while holding up the mask, that this is not only who we ‘are’ (or who we’re striving to be) but that holding up this mask is actually what is best for our children and families. We justify the pain and struggle by saying it is for them. I challenge this self-sacrificial narrative of martyrdom motherhood and talk about the process of revealing, discovering, and connecting with who we are, underneath the mask of Motherhood.

Often, there can feel as though there is a conflict between the ways we would like to parent, and the social and structural forces that shape and influence our everyday lives as mothers. Amanda Donnet from Spilt Milk Psychology joins me in this conversation to discuss the ways so often, our ‘needs’ as mothers are framed as being in competition with the needs of our children. Negotiating this and finding space for our ‘selves’ is therefore connected with the idea that we need to be separated from our children – to have time away from the to ‘come up for air’. We challenge this narrative and the pressure mothers face to always centralize our children and place their needs above our own. Amanda offers us examples and tools for how we can learn to build our own ‘oxygen tank’ to ‘breathe under water’, and honour the ambivalence that is part of mothering. We talk about toxic positivity, how to teach our children how to deal with disappointment, strategies to cultivate self-compassion, and much more. Connect with Amanda at https://spiltmilkpsych.com/

This is a conversation about the concept of ‘Matrescence’ as the transition into the identity of being a mother – a process that is unfolding and ongoing. I speak with Amy Taylor-Kabbatz who is a best-selling author, speaker, journalist, Matrescence Activist and mama of three. After more than a decade covering breaking news and current affairs for the ABC, Amy’s ‘traditional’ career took an unexpected turn when she found herself lost, overwhelmed and diagnosed with a thyroid condition after the birth of her first daughter. Amy went on a journey to learn about, explore, and then teach the concept of Matrescence as a way for women to access a language and understanding to describe the changes they go through when they enter motherhood. In our conversation we reflect on the revolution that is needed, both for mothers individually and socially, institutionally, and culturally.

In this episode I talk with Leisa Masters from Earthside Birth Services on the subject of money and worth in motherhood and in business. We are both single mothers and business owners whose work supports mothers. It’s from this context that we explore how mothering is financially devalued, and the correlated challenges we’ve experienced in running businesses that support mothers. This episode covers research on the ‘motherhood penalty’, the ‘maternal ‘wall’ as the new ‘glass ceiling’, and the economic value of women’s care-work. There is recognition of our collective loss of community support and the commodification and hierarchy of valuing tangible ‘things’ in motherhood. We delve into a deeper discussion about the discomfort that can come up both in motherhood and specifically in mother-run businesses, around self-worth, and the socially reinforced expectation that mothers try and prove our worth through measurable, quantifiable outputs. We consider all of the ways that mothering is skilled work, how the way we see ourselves impacts how others see us too, and the potential that would open up for mothers if we were to recognise and claim our individual and collective value.

The ever-unfolding transition into motherhood is one that often asks us to connect in with our values, our desires, and our sense of identity, to embark on a journey of growth and transformation in ways that we had never anticipated before becoming mothers. This journey of ‘soul-work’ is the focus of this conversation with Dr Aleksandra Staneva. Dr Staneva is a mother, scholar, and psychotherapist who supports women to re-member and re-integrate their deep connection with their own soul. This episode explores how this work actually looks in practice, diving into topics such as inner-child work, the ‘mother wound’, the ‘death mother complex’, ‘shadow work’, inner re-mothering, the connections between trauma and the body, and how we can use dream work as a way to access our unconscious in supporting our own growth and development. In this episode, Aleks combined both rational, intellectualised teachings and understandings, with the non-intellectual wisdoms of our body. You can connect with her at [email protected], https://aleksandrastaneva.com/ on Facebook as /Drstaneva or Instagram horo_for_women.

This is a conversation with Eileen Robertson Hamra about her memoir ‘Time to Fly: Life and Love after Loss’ – a story of resilience, grief, and love, told with raw honesty and deep vulnerability. In December 2011 Eileen and Brian Robertson and their three young children were preparing for Christmas celebrations together, when Brian was tragically killed in an airplane crash. Ripping their world apart, Eileen says “waves of grief start immediately, and when the first wave hit, it knocked me over. I still cannot imagine more pain. In the first hours and days following the worst news of my life, my human body worked in mysterious ways to protect my soul”. As a mother, woman, and wife, Eileen forged a path forward in her life for both herself and her children that honoured Brian’s life and continued his legacy, while living with a deep and renewed sense of purpose. She says “the transformation of pain and the self is not a burning or turning away – the goal is not to deny or destroy our sadness or our past. We cannot grow only by leaning into joy.” In the episode we talk about this journeying, reflecting on the nature of grief and the ongoing process of grieving. Eileen shares with us how she opened herself up to finding love again, and what it was like to begin a new relationship with her now husband, Mike. She talks about the complexities of supporting her children through both the loss of their father, and integrating into their new family unit, as well as the incredible journey of having a baby with Mike, giving birth to her fourth child at age 46. This is a conversation about grief, loss, transformation, love, lack of control, surrender, mothering, legacy, and life purpose, for anyone who believes in the power of hope and resilience. You can connect with Eileen through her website: https://www.eileenrobertsonhamra.com/

The imagery of the ‘perfect mother’ is almost the antithesis of the ‘angry mother’. Yet anger is commonly experienced in motherhood, particularly within a modern, western culture of intensified motherhood that places such high expectations on the ways that mothers should behave, feel, act, and live. Because of this, feeling anger when you’re a mother can provoke guilt, stigma, isolation, shame, and have you feeling like you’re not a ‘good enough’ mother. This episode offers insight into the experience of anger in motherhood, where anger comes from, what happens when we’re triggered, and the RULER approach for responding to our anger. I speak about the cultural roots of anger, common responses to anger in motherhood, and encourage us to get curious about our anger. If we framed anger as information, what could it be telling us about our life and our growth? What if we understood feeling maternal anger – and knowing how to channel, process, and respond to these feelings constructively – as actually necessary for both us, and our children? I share some perhaps surprising features of anger, and hope to shift the shame, stigma, guilt and isolation associated with maternal anger, through offering an alternative narrative in considering how our anger can be a constructive and transformational force. *Please note that in some cases, anger can be a red flag for maternal mood disorders. If you feel anger has become an unhealthy, recurring, or destructive feature in your life, please reach out to your GP or email me info@drsophiebrock so I can connect you with support.

Motherhood has many challenges, some that are talked about more publicly than others. One common challenge within mothers’ experiences that isn’t often addressed, is how trauma – particularly childhood trauma – impacts the practice of mothering our own children, and how judge ourselves as mothers. In this episode I speak with trauma-informed Integrative Psychotherapist Catherine Counihan to explore this complex topic. Cath shares with us ‘big t’ and ‘small t’ definitions of trauma, some examples of trauma, and describes how and why our childhood experiences impact our mothering. Part of this means highlighting the infant and primary caregiver attachment relationships, and how our early life experiences impact our mothering today. Cath explains the physiological effects of trauma and offers examples of how this shows up in our interactions with our children. We talk about concepts such as the ‘parentified child’, and how perfectionism and control are key challenges in our experience as mothers. This episode offers you insight into why and how motherhood can be very stimulating from a trauma perspective; the role of both compassion and rage; suggestions for how to ‘widen your window of tolerance’; and what you can do when you feel you’re in a triggered state. You can connect with Cath further @psychotherapy_mum.

This conversation is with Dr Oscar Serrallach, GP and author of the ground-breaking book, The Postnatal Depletion Cure. In both his clinical work, and as a father to his three children, Oscar has witnessed the enormous stress of modern motherhood and the health implications experienced by mothers. He has dedicated his career to addressing what he terms ‘postnatal depletion’. In this episode we discuss what postnatal depletion is, what causes it, as well as treatment and prevention strategies – which are both physiological and social. Dr Oscar discusses neuroinflammation and challenges mainstream understandings of maternal mood disorders, relaying important findings on how postnatal depression is distinct from depression experienced by those who are not mothers. He discusses the changes that happen to a mother’s brain during pregnancy and postnatally, and how our stress response system is impacted. Dr Oscar importantly frames these changes as a ‘superpower’ and highlights the critical importance of mothering-work. We talk about matrescence, why motherhood continues to be devalued, and what our hopes are for the future of maternal advocacy and change.

This conversation is with Sophie Burch, mother of 4 boys including twins, and therapist and coach, who is on a mission to help people maintain their mental wellbeing from pregnancy through birth and parenting. Sophie talks openly about her experiences in mothering her boys, and shares her professional insights and expertise as someone who speaks to parents everyday about the challenges they face in parenting. We reflect on the ways that surrendering, self-compassion, and Sophie’s terminology of ‘softening’ into the most challenging parts of mothering are what help us through. We talk about mindfulness, ‘micro moments’ of self-care, reframing tools, mirroring, and modelling, and Sophie shares with us a brilliant and practical strategy that you can adopt and implement into your daily life as a parent when things feel overwhelming. You can get Sophie’s ‘Beyond Birth Guide’ for early parenting, and join her weekly classes here https://www.themammacoach.com/beyond-birth-guide and sign up for my course Liberate: Your Motherhood Revolution here: https://drsophiebrock.com/liberate/

In this episode I talk with Julianne Boutaleb – a consultant perinatal psychologist and Director of Parenthood in Mind – about the transition to motherhood, particularly in the context of the Covid-19 global pandemic. We discuss the dynamics and importance of the birth environment and postpartum period, and how parents can prepare for how their experience will be impacted by the context of a global pandemic. Julianne speaks about the processes of attachment between a mother and her baby, revealing some of the early attachment needs of a baby that may surprise you. As some of those most vulnerable members in our society, this episode highlights the experience of the baby in transitioning into the world, particularly in the context of Covid-19. We also talk about the changes that happen in a woman’s brain when she becomes a mother, and why mothers and babies are ‘born’ three times. Part of this process of readjustment and transitioning into the ‘mother’ role also can involve a sense of loss and grieving. Julianne offers advice about how we can move through these experiences with a sense of forgiveness, compassion, and gentleness, in order to use this time as an opportunity to settle into a new ‘maternal rhythm’. You can connect further with Julianne on Instagram @parenthoodinmind or through https://www.parenthoodinmind.co.uk/

In this conversation with Carly Grubb, founder of The Beyond Sleep Training Project, Little Sparklers, and Grubby Mummy and the Grubby Bubbies blog, we talk about the consequences of sleep training, the failure of our systems in supporting new parents, the intense emotional load that women carry in our families and communities, and what valuing motherhood means. Carly shares her own story of attending sleep school, and the ways she has used her painful and isolating experience to create what has become a groundswell movement of like-minded parents. The group Carly founded and runs with her team of admins and moderators – The Beyond Sleep Training Group – is approaching 100,000 members. The group supports biologically normal infant and toddler sleep, providing a voice against the tidal wave of the sleep training industry. We talk about the group’s formation, the ways it provides support, what goes on ‘behind the scenes’, what it’s like to run a group of this size, and what is next in stall through the work of the charity Little Sparklers. Part of this involves acknowledging the emotional work, unpaid labour, and personal sacrifices experienced by Carly and her team. This discussion extends beyond sleep training into our everyday experiences as mothers in this society. Having these conversations in public forums requires courage and vulnerability, but Carly’s passion for supporting mothers and babies, and her yearning to see institutional change has kept her going. This is a must-listen for pregnant women, Mums of babies and toddlers, and anyone who is interested in making our society better for mothers and their children.

Let this be a little slice in your day where you take a moment to draw inwards and connect with yourself – even when (and perhaps most importantly when) you are busy multi-tasking in listening to this with while parenting your kids, or driving, or walking, or taking a moment for yourself. I summarize some information for you recommended by Aisha Ahmad – a researcher who has lived through disease outbreaks, war, and long periods of social isolation. I break down her 3 stages of adjusting to a pandemic and talk about how they can help you. I hope for this episode to leave you feeling more connected to yourself and reminded of your resilience.

What does the research actually say on screentime, particularly for young children? I provide an overview of both the detrimental impacts and the ways screentime can be helpful. I apply this information about screentime to the philosophy of good enough mothering and discuss how to integrate screentime into the context many of us find ourselves in working from home with our children. I also offer strategies if you would like to try and limit screentime, as well as ways of how to integrate screentime into your lives in ways that minimize potential harmful consequences. I also discuss how to deal with feelings of guilt, while offering a frank but honest account of the research landscape and how to apply this knowledge into our current context.

In putting together this week’s podcast I reflected on the extent to which our lives and the information that surrounds us at the moment is shaped by this worldwide pandemic. It almost seems as though anything worth discussing needs to relate to the context of the virus. But then I am also mindful of the type of fatigue that we are likely to experience in terms of information overload and feeling like we’re being saturated. With these two aspects in mind, this week I’m sharing what my experience of what self-isolation has been like in mothering my 2 year old without any available social support. I know this is or will be the position of many and so I felt it may be useful to share my experience as an ‘ordinary’ albeit privileged person, within our current context. Sometimes it can feel we’re lost within a sea of statistics and predictions, and it’s through individual stories that we can find anchoring and connection. I hope as a listener you are well and are weathering this storm and holding onto hope.

We generally go through a number of points in our lives where we come to question our identity and who we are: we experience a shift in how we see ourselves, how we experience the world, and what our values are. This episode journeys on a philosophical exploration around what it means to reflect on ‘who we are’ as women and mothers. How we think about ourselves and our lives – both in our memories, the present, and in the future -involves the creation of stories. I explain how this process of story-ing works and why the process of story-making and story-telling is so important in our own lives and the lives of our children. Part of this story-making integrates processes of ‘letting go’ that we move through in mothering, relationships, our working lives, and in grieving and loss. I talk about the meaning and construction of ‘family’, critique advice of ‘everything happens for a reason’, and reflect on the ways we can alchemize our pain, fear, and struggle to lead richer and more engaged lives.

I talk about the process and practice of conscious mothering through The Good Enough Mother, but what does that paradigm look like when applied to birth? This episode is with Leisa Masters of Earthside Birth Services who is an online pregnancy and birth mentor. She works with women who wish to uncover what they want for their births and their lives, and holds the vision that women know themselves best. In this episode we break down what conscious preparation for birth actually means. We confront and raise difficult questions about how women deal with systems and often-oppressive structures, to arrive at what it actually is that they want for their births, their motherhood, and their lives. The way our conversation unfolds reflects the interwoven nature of birth, consciousness, feminism, patriarchal motherhood, individualisation, shaming, lack of choice, silencing, re-claiming, and the power we have in modelling for our children. The journey of birth preparation – and mothering – is ultimately about how we find and ‘be with’ who we authentically are.

What does dealing with aggressive behaviour in your child look like when you're a conscious parent? In the first part of this episode I dive into what it means to parent from a place of consciousness and reflexivity. Why it is that so often our children – including the ways they behave – call us into doing the work of self reflection in coming to know ourselves more deeply, where our limits are, and who we can become. The struggle we have around our children’s behaviour has so much to do with our yearning for ‘control’ and the constant releasing of control that motherhood often entails and requires. I talk about the power of surrender, and speak frankly about the ways we can unfairly hold our children responsible for our happiness and wholeness. The second half of the episode reveals how these foundational understandings impact on how we can respond to our children’s aggression. I talk about coregulation and dysregulation, why our children lash out aggressively, and how you can respond. Part of this involves releasing the judgements you hold over yourself and embracing a practice of ‘good enough mothering’ in order to connect with your child in the ways they’re calling out for.

What is it like to grieve the lost opportunity of motherhood? This week’s conversation is with Sarah Roberts who is a grief teacher and counsellor with over 25 years experience. After travelling her own journey of infertility for 10 years and living with the grief of involuntary childlessness, she now works to support women who are experiencing motherhood loss. We talk about Sarah’s work and journey, and grapple with what ‘motherhood’ really means in our society today. We discuss the value placed on motherhood and how our current models of ‘the family’ rob mothers, children, non-mothers, and the broader community of support and enrichment. Living through fertility treatments and involuntary childlessness brings with it a complex tapestry of grief, and we explore the ways that this grief can be exacerbated by isolation. We offer ways of having conversations as both involuntary childless women, and as mothers, so that we can create spaces to talk about these difficult topics. It is through grappling with discomfort and pain that we realize our shared humanity and open the possibilities for deep connection and growth.

Sociologists pull back the veil on lived experience and connect this experience with the broader social and cultural context that we live within. Diving into analysis and coming up with theories that speak to individuals’ experiences, we can give broader meaning to them, and this analysis can ultimately be used to provoke and propel social and cultural change. With this in mind, this episode dives into some of the research I’ve conducted with mothers of children with disabilities. I want to give you an insight into these women’s experiences, because I believe mothers of children with disabilities are at the intersection of everything that is empowering about mothering, AND everything that is disempowering about motherhood. The work these women put into their mothering is unparalleled, and it’s not just through choice: it’s often through necessity. But the struggle and isolation they endure is mostly unrecognized, and often unnecessary. We need social, cultural, and institutional change to value the work these women do – and the work that all mothers do. We need to value unpaid care work. Despite living within a patriarchal model of motherhood, I argue these women’s stories show us how we can reconstruct our own experiences as mothers to experience our power and potency, despite the deep complexity and perhaps ambivalence that will always be inherent in the experience of mothering.

Current notions of ‘self care’ are letting mothers down. Part of the ‘perfect mother myth’ is that mothers are self sacrificial saints who have responsibility for the physical and emotional needs of the family. Yet, they are also expected to prioritize their ‘self care’ in order to continue meeting the needs of everybody else. In our individualistic culture we ask mothers to advocate for their own self care when they are already drowning in the care needs of everyone else. Considering the interplay between society and the individual, perhaps there are deeper reasons behind our ‘need’ for self-care in terms of our sense of worthiness, and living out the gendered narrative we’ve been programmed with since we were little girls. I want to flip how we think about self-care in the context of motherhood and argue that it can be a way to push back against the rhetoric of the perfect mother and patriarchal motherhood. We do this through rejecting the individualized, commercialized idea of self-care, while embracing ourselves as good enough mothers.

This episode offers insight into what the research says on sleep training practices and frames the struggle with baby sleep as a structural and cultural one, rather than a purely individual one. I try and move the debate away from the divisiveness it can cause within motherhood, towards fostering compassion for parents while calling sleep training marketing tactics to account. I detail 7 ‘myth busters’ of infant sleep assumptions that include information on infant feeding, sleep spaces, ‘sleeping through’, and self-soothing. I argue for a move away from the either/or approach of prioritizing the caregiver OR baby’s wellbeing. We need to maintain the importance of attachment and responsiveness for babies, as well as support, rest, and empathy for mothers. I advocate for a cultural adjustment of expectations around baby sleep and a shift in where we focus our support and inquiry.

Sleep is one of the most loaded and controversial topics you can discuss within motherhood. There is judgement regardless of whether you sleep train or not, and I firmly believe all mothers are doing the best with the information and support they have available to them at the time. I know that not getting quality sleep can have severe impacts on our health and quality of life, but I want to shift the conversation away from the ‘either/or’ paradigm about putting baby or Mum ‘first’. We need another way. This episode is part 1 in a two part series, and this part shares the sleep journey I’ve been on with my daughter. I speak the unspoken parts of sleep training and critique sleep training industry and culture for an exploitation of tired and vulnerable parents, approaching this from a place of compassion and empathy for mothers. We navigated through 18 months of frequent and distressed waking before finding answers that helped my daughter’s sleep. But this journey taught me surprising (and sometimes challenging) lessons about myself as a mother and woman, and has instilled in me a passion for education about biologically normal patterns of baby and toddler sleep. I think we need an overhaul of our current social and cultural model when it comes to the topic of motherhood and sleep! Stay tuned for part 2 where I dig into the research and the core of my argument, taking you through 7 myths of infant sleep that I believe need calling out and changing. Mentions: Sophie Acott from Sleep, Play, Love. Nourishing The Mother.

This episode contributes to the conversation on maternal mental health – specifically postpartum depression and anxiety - reframing the disorders (at their epidemic levels). I draw on research to suggest these disorders can be understood not necessarily an individual problem that is growing, but as a symptom of a social problem. I explain the role that culture has to play in triggering or exacerbating maternal mental health conditions. I explore the various contributing factors to maternal mental health struggles including biological - hormonal, relational, socioeconomic, and cultural – as well as the way systems such as our maternity care system contribute to the epidemic. In doing so, I reveal some shocking correlations that you may have never heard of before, as well as share my own mental health challenges as a mother. As a way forward, I introduce the concepts of ‘the postnatal depletion cure’ as well as ‘matrescence’ to give us a language and more diverse options for navigating and transforming maternal mental health struggles. Ultimately, I hope this episode makes visible part of the picture that still remains largely hidden, as I believe without this recognition we cannot create enduring and meaningful change to transform mothers’ lives. PANDA for Aus support: 1300 726 306. MIND for UK support: 0300 123 3393. Mental Health America for US support: 1-800-273-TALK (8255)

In this episode I delve into research and evidence behind why the way we parent is so important – from a neurobiological perspective. I talk about polyvagal theory and why it’s important to understand as a parent, and the scientific benefits of holding our babies. I share research that gives insight into the interplay between genes and environment in our children’s development, and the power of touch and connection. I acknowledge the challenges involved in this way of mothering as a caregiver and delve into the topics of rage and anger as a mother. I bring our focus back to the body and on accepting the inevitability of ‘ruptures’ in our connection with our children, but on the enduring and restorative function of ‘repairing’ these connections.

This episode is about injecting passion, energy, and power into you as listeners and as mothers. I open up difficult and controversial conversations around the lack of evidence-based information and practice that underpin many of our mainstream understandings of parenting and child-rearing. I talk about the paradoxical ways that in being ‘good enough’ mothers we can both strive to grow while also being content with where we are. We not only let go of the ideal of perfect motherhood when we embrace being good enough as we are, but this is also an act of resistance. And through this resistance of external standards of ‘perfection’ we are modelling for our children how to be authentic, flawed, resilient, whole human beings. In this episode I discuss all of this and more, and hope to communicate the ways that we can both critique socioeconomic structures that make our lives as mothers harder, while also encouraging you to reclaim your maternal power even as we live within these structures.

The move into a new decade is a great opportunity to harness this time and energy to be intentional about what you want for the year ahead and who you want to be. In this episode I share with you the intentions I set for 2019 – which ones worked and why, and which ones failed, and why! I think an important part of moving forward consciously is to look back at where we have been. Not with judgement, but with curiosity to see what we can learn to support our growth moving forward. In this episode I share 5 strategies for setting and living out your intentions, goals, or ambitions for the year ahead. Accompanying this episode a free goal guide that you can download here https://linktr.ee/thegoodenoughmother

This time of year and the festive season can bring pressure, expectation, sadness, a bubbling of grief, intense gratitude and joy, and so much more. Often, the emotional and physical load of organizing communities and families in this season falls on mothers’ shoulders. I encourage you to think of yourself as a ‘rebellious mother’ this festive season, offer some tips on how to embrace this idea, and recount research around what makes for a ‘happy’ holiday season. I talk about the importance of co-regulation and what to do when your children (and you) become dysregulated in social settings. In cultivating self-awareness around our triggers, we can come to see how we can flip our understanding of dysfunction to be purposeful for our own growth, self-development, and practice of gratitude and perspective.

Note: Trigger warning that there is discussion of my Dad’s death and some of the acute challenges that came with his illness. If you’re a listener with MND/ALS or support a loved one, please be mindful of this and know that you can reach out for support. There is a power in story-telling that goes far beyond what we recognize and acknowledge. It is the thread that ties us together as human beings and I believe narratives have the power to transform and inspire. In this episode I share a personal story from my family. It includes the story of how my parents came to be together: the greatest love story I’ve ever known. I talk about how my Dad went from the depths of depression to finding hope and a renewed sense of love and life through my Mum, and how together, they took on the biggest fight of their lives. Dad’s terminal diagnosis of Motor Neurone Disease gave him 3-5 years to live. Together they fought against the ravishes of the deteriorating disease, stripping my Dad of all independence, but he continued to live a thriving and rewarding existence: for 20 years. Their story demonstrates the importance of perspective. The power of love. The lifeline of hope. The realities of grief as a part of life. And the ultimate importance of never giving up. I hope from this you draw inspiration, strength, and resilience that you can enact in your own life.

Feeling guilt as a mother is almost part of an initiation process into modern day, intensified motherhood. There can be guilt from the moment of conception right through to being the mother to an adult child and a grandparent. Mothering more than one child is laden with feelings of guilt at the obvious impossibility of meeting every child’s needs right when they arise. This episode unveils what I think Mum-guilt is really about. I encourage greater self-awareness about what your feelings of guilt actually mean, and warn against the dangerous aspects of guilt that perpetuate a cycle of self-censoring judgement, and keeps the myth of idealized, perfect motherhood going. I offer 3 strategies for how to flip the narrative of your guilt to see it as purposeful, and come up with your own version of ‘good enough’ mothering. Reframing our understanding of maternal guilt can be fuel for transformation, remind us of our inherent power and agency as women, and encourage acceptance of our feelings of ambivalence that are an normal part of mothering.

You acquire certain skills when you mother children, and ‘maternal thinking’ is one of them. I describe this concept to you as a way of re-valuing the work of motherhood, and relate it to the weight of responsibility mothers carry in caring for children and running a household. This weight can be talked about in terms of ‘emotional labour’ and the ‘mental load’, and also relates to ingrained and ongoing sexism. I draw on research to explain the critical yet invisible burden of these responsibilities that is largely carried by mothers. In doing so I delve into a discussion of ‘maternal gatekeeping’, why it may keep you feeling stuck and alone, and how it relates to the pressures of ‘perfect motherhood’. I finish by speaking about the gendered division of care and domestic labour and the fraught nature of ‘choice’.

Big emotions from our little humans can make this season of motherhood so challenging, and parenting from a place of respect and self-awareness can often feel like an uphill battle. In this episode I dispel some of the myths of toddlerhood to give you insight into neurologically typical, ‘normal’ developmental capacity for young children to regulate their emotions. I reveal why ‘tantrums’ are purposeful and why you might like to actually encourage them! I critique some of the ‘peaceful solutions’ sold to mothers that buy directly into the ‘good mother’ myth, while giving personal insight into my greatest ‘discipline’ challenge as a mother. This episode is designed to alleviate guilt, lessen feelings of stress and anxiousness around disciplining, and give you some step by step tools you can try out to ground you on a path of connection with both your child, and yourself.

This episode uses the motif of contraction and expansion to show how all of our lives mirror this process and cycle of challenge and growth. I connect the threads of birth, new life, childhood, major life transitions, old age, death, and grief. In doing so, we delve deeper into the role that contraction has to play in our lives – including through emotions such as anxiety and stress – and I offer you an exercise to demonstrate this relationship. This process invites greater introspection and self-awareness about how challenge can be a catalyst for transformation. As an example, I point to the transition to motherhood and the question mothers wrestle with about ‘going back to work’ and how they see themselves and their identities as tied to their occupations. I look at the process of ageing and how the ways we treat our elderly highlight the discomfort we actually have with transformational growth. I also share a personal story of my own state of grief to give you insight into the lessons our bodies have for us if we tune in.

This episode is a follow on from episode 8, which spoke about birth as a feminist issue, the cascading nature of interventions, and the latest in Australian birth research. In this episode I give insight into some harrowing accounts of birth demonstrative of the widespread issue of psychological and physical birth trauma. I talk about why the #metooinbirth movement needs to gain momentum and publicity, as well as the significance of the place of birth and care provider chosen or allocated.

This episode is the first in a series of 2 that has been released following the release of a major research study, drawn from data that spanned 13 years and followed over 1 million births in Australia. I unpack some of the results from this study, critique the problem with ‘choice’ framing in the birthing context, and talk about the cascading nature of interventions in the birth system. Based on Milli Hill's "give birth like a feminist" book, I answer what giving birth like a feminist really looks like, and why birth is a feminist issue.

Who are you? When you strip back all the labels and all of the ‘roles’, who are you at your essence? This episode explores this question, inviting you into greater awareness of yourself and the power you have to change your perceptions and therefore experience of this world. I also delve into a critique of this ‘mindfulness’ movement from a sociological perspective, but offer a bridge for understanding how a focus on self awareness can open opportunities for cultural shifts. I offer some practices and examples that you can draw on in your everyday life to help you alleviate stress and anxiety, recognize your ego, and become conscious of the stories you tell yourself about your past, relationships, work, and parenting. I reveal the ways our children can help us experience greater consciousness and appreciation for who we are, and the interconnectedness between ourselves, our children, and our society.

Talking about how we raise our children can be a highly emotive – even moralistic – conversation. It feels deeply personal because of our relationships with our children, and the high investment (in every sense of the word) so many of us put into childrearing. Why this topic can be emotive is also connected with the ways motherhood sets us up for comparison, judgement, and critique – from both others and ourselves. Society sees the terms ‘woman’ and ‘mother’ as almost synonymous, and with these associations come expectations. This episode delves into different parenting styles with these connections in mind, recognizing that part of the complexity of our individual histories and circumstances, means that we will all likely fit into EVERY parenting box at one stage or another. Authoritative, attachment, free range, slow, gentle, RIE, aware, hand-in-hand, and parenting by connection. I delve into these through discussing research evidence, cultural reflections, and personal anecdotes. If you would like to learn more about conscious mothering, head on over to my blog: https://drsophiebrock.com/2019/10/04/consciousmotheringselfgrowth/

Separating the science from the cultural constructs, and judgements from the lived reality, this episode dives into attachment theory as setting the building blocks for human development and relationships. But rather than giving a one-dimensional account of attachment, I examine some critiques that will challenge your thinking and have you questioning what you really believe to be true about attachment-style parenting. I offer my own response to these critiques and share a story about my own relationship with attachment parenting. I encourage you to break out of set mothering-boxes and enjoy nuanced discussion about the realities of mothering and attachment theory.

I think part of our human experience involves experiencing catastrophe at some point in our lives. Whether that be through the death of a loved one, disease, divorce, loss of identity, or anything else that has devastating consequences. With this in mind, I tell the story of how my Dad and family coped with Motor Neurone Disease: a terminal, degenerative, and incurable disease. Dad fought for 20 years, and died in 2016. The lessons he left will guide me for the rest of my life. In this episode I share some of these with you in the hope that they offer you inspiration for choosing a path forward to build and live a life imbued with meaning and hope.

What does empowered mothering mean and how do you become an empowered mother? I provide you the answers to this question, and offer tips and strategies for how we can embrace a practice of mothering that reclaims our strength, power, authenticity, and agency. I talk about feminism, privilege, and reveal some shocking statistics about the position of mothers in Australia today. This episode will demonstrate how embracing the practice of empowered mothering not only benefits individual mothers, but also their children and our society.

Welcome to the first episode, where I share my vision and passion for this podcast. I explain the purpose behind The Good Enough Mother and give you 3 insights into how this podcast came about, why you may be interested in listening, and what aspects you will be able to connect with. I also answer the question of what IS a 'good enough mother'?