In this episode of "Your Confident Self," host Allegra M. Sinclair delves into a topic that's particularly challenging during the holiday season. Whether you're experiencing grief from the loss of a loved one, a job, a relationship, or any other reason, this episode provides valuable insights and strategies to navigate through this difficult time while staying true to yourself.In this episode you'll learn:Allegra explores the challenges of dealing with grief during holidays and special occasions, emphasizing the importance of authenticity and acknowledging the mix of emotions that come with loss.The significance of acknowledging and expressing emotions, emphasizing that temporary suppression can lead to unresolved feelings resurfacing later.Embracing the idea that it's okay for things to be different during the holidays, and expressing grief in ways that honor the past while embracing new traditions and growth.The value of reaching out to trusted friends or family members, expressing your needs, and allowing others the opportunity to provide meaningful support during tough times.The importance of prioritizing self-care during the holiday season, including examples of self-care activities and the significance of maintaining emotional health.Insights into identifying and understanding personal triggers of grief to allow acknowledgment and expression of emotions when they arise.Acknowledging that it's okay to experience moments of joy and happiness amidst grief, while honoring the freedom to celebrate without guilt.These topics offer valuable guidance to high-achieving career women seeking to build confidence and resilience while navigating the complexities of grief during the holiday season.Remember that it's okay to not be okay, and your resilience doesn't have a limit. Full show notes and grief resources can be found at https://allegrasinclair.com/holidaygrief

In this episode of "Your Confident Self," we explore how to defuse critical thoughts by embracing the worst-case scenario. Host Allegra M. Sinclair shares insightful strategies to help you conquer your inner critic and harness the power of adversity to propel yourself forward.Unleashing the Power of the Worst-Case ScenarioAllegra delves into the concept of the worst-case scenario as an exaggerated belief about the outcome of a situation, often exacerbating our fears and uncertainties.She highlights the tendency of our minds to gravitate towards catastrophic possibilities, leading to undue stress and anxiety, and how most worst-case scenarios never actually materialize.The power of embracing worst-case scenarios lies in leveraging past experiences to understand that our fears are often unfounded, providing valuable insights into managing future challenges with confidence and resilience.Confronting the Worst-Case ScenarioAllegra emphasizes the pivotal step of confronting the worst-case scenario by asking, "What's the worst thing that could happen?" to gain invaluable perspective and insight.By facing the worst-case scenario head-on, you can transition into problem-solving mode, enabling you to approach challenges analytically rather than succumbing to fear and anxiety.This practice empowers women to take control of critical thoughts, interrupt repetitive negative narratives, and shift into a mindset focused on practical problem-solving and forward movement.Harnessing the Worst-Case Scenario as a ToolThe act of confronting the worst-case scenario serves as an empowering tool to transform fear into an opportunity for growth and empowerment.Allegra emphasizes the shift in perspective that occurs when we consider the actual likelihood of the worst-case scenario and its potential impact, enabling us to move forward with confidence and clarity.By reframing the worst-case scenario as a tool for progress, women can overcome their inner critic and propel themselves towards their aspirations with newfound resilience and determination.Defeating the Inner Critic and Building ConfidenceThe ability to face challenging situations with a strategic mindset and analytical approach fosters a sense of empowerment, enabling individuals to navigate uncertainties with clarity and resourcefulness.Allegra emphasizes the transformational potential of embracing the worst-case scenario as a means to overcome self-doubt, build confidence, and propel oneself towards unprecedented personal and professional growth.The Path to Empowerment and Self-AssuranceBy embracing the worst-case scenario as a valuable tool in overcoming critical thoughts, individuals can cultivate a resilient and self-assured mindset, ultimately embarking on a transformative journey towards conquering their inner critic.The strategic application of worst-case scenario analysis empowers individuals to approach challenges with clarity, resourcefulness, and confidence, transforming potential obstacles into opportunities for growth and advancement.Through this empowered perspective, high-achieving women can harness the inherent power of adversity to propel themselves forward, conquer self-doubt, and unlock their full potential in both their personal and professional endeavors.In conclusion, by confronting the worst-case scenario head-on, you have the power to shift from fear to empowerment, equipping yourself with the tools that are necessary to navigate challenges and reach new heights of success. Join us in the next empowering episode of 'Your Confident Self' as we continue to provide invaluable tools and insights to help you overcome obstacles, achieve your dreams, and unleash your full potential. Remember, you are capable

In this episode of Your Confident Self, we delve deeper into overcoming negative thoughts that can hinder your progress. Host Allegra M. Sinclair shares two powerful tips to help you master your inner critic, gain self-awareness, and develop a plan to silence negativity and boost your confidence. Embrace Constructive Criticism: Understand the value of constructive criticism in identifying limitations and setting goals for personal growth. Learn to differentiate between this helpful critique and the unhelpful, mean-spirited voice of your inner critic.Create an Empowering List: Identify patterns of self-criticism and their root causes. Assess which issues are within your control and brainstorm solutions for each legitimate problem.Recognize and challenge negative self-talk, gaining the power to silence your inner critic.Learn to discern between valid concerns and unwarranted fears, and find actionable solutions to the challenges you may face.Realize that your inner critic is often wrong and that you have the power to silence its messages.Learn strategies to quiet your inner critic and take decisive steps toward creating the life and career you desire.Tune in to Your Confident Self for more empowering episodes designed to help high-achieving women thrive in every aspect of their journey. Embrace your inner confidence and keep shining!

Imagine your inner critic as a little gremlin who loves to throw mud at you when you least expect it. This gremlin knows all your weak spots and can really make a mess. But what if you could turn the tables and become your own biggest fan? It's like having a trusty umbrella to shield yourself from the mud. Instead of letting the gremlin's words stick, you start using a colorful umbrella to catch the mud and turn it into something beautiful, like a piece of art. You become your own artist, transforming the negativity into positive affirmations and constructive feedback, making the gremlin's mud-slinging sessions a lot more bearable. So, grab that vibrant umbrella, embrace your inner artist, and turn the muck and mire into a masterpiece!In this episode of Your Confident Self, host Allegra M. Sinclair delves into the transformative power of becoming your own biggest fan. She shares practical strategies tailored to help high-achieving women shift their mindset and conquer their inner critic, paving the way to unlock their full potential in every aspect of their lives.Empowering Strategies to Build ConfidenceThe Influence of Positive Role Models: Allegra prompts listeners to consider individuals whom they admire for their self-assuredness and confidence, drawing inspiration from the likes of Adele and Beyoncé. The discussion centers on recognizing and embracing one's inner strengths to foster a greater sense of self-worth.Being Gentle with Yourself: The importance of using gentler language when addressing personal shortcomings is highlighted. Allegra emphasizes the significance of silencing the inner critic by reframing negative messages and acknowledging individual strengths.Embracing Constructive Self-Critique: Listeners are encouraged to transition from self-deprecating criticism to constructive feedback. By dissecting internal dialogue and transforming potential areas for improvement into actionable steps, individuals can empower themselves to strive for personal growth.Kindness as a Power Tool: Allegra stresses the impact of self-compassion and kindness, urging listeners to refrain from self-criticism and instead serve as their own cheerleader. Embracing positivity and supportive self-talk is emphasized as a means to cultivate a confident and resilient mindset.Harnessing the Transformative Power of Writing: Allegra gives a sneak peek into the forthcoming episode, where she will explore the efficacy of written self-reflection in reshaping one's inner dialogue and attaining self-empowerment.As women navigate the challenging terrain of professional and personal fulfillment, the ability to build and sustain confidence is pivotal. By implementing Allegra's strategies, listeners stand poised to silence their inner critic, foster constructive self-empowerment, and embark on a journey towards unwavering confidence and success. Tune in to the next episode to delve deeper into the art of transforming critical thoughts through the act of introspective writing.

In this episode, Allegra M. Sinclair shares invaluable insights aimed at equipping you with the tools to combat negative self-talk and foster self-assurance in every aspect of your life. Through a conversation packed with actionable advice, you will gain the inspiration and guidance needed to transform your self-doubt into unwavering confidence. Let's dive into Allegra's 3 amazing tips to take control of your thoughts and unleash your full potential.Imagine your inner critic as a pesky fly buzzing around your head, constantly trying to land and whisper negative thoughts in your ear. The first tip, "call a lie a lie," is like swatting away the fly and recognizing its buzzing as annoying noise instead of truth. The second tip, "challenge the negativity," is like remembering all the times you've successfully shooed away the fly before, proving that you have the power to overcome its pestering. Lastly, "focus on solutions and not the problems" is like turning on a bug zapper to redirect your attention towards the solution, zapping away the fly's power over your thoughts. By using these tips, you can squash that pesky inner critic and focus on your dreams without the constant buzzing of negativity. So, grab your inner critic swatter and zapper, and get ready to take control of your thoughts!In this Episode:Spot the Fake News: Learn to identify and challenge the negative self-talk that inhibits your confidence. Recognize the lies and patterns in your thoughts, and understand that they are often rooted in past insecurities. Embrace the truth that these thoughts do not define who you are now, and confront them head-on to render them powerless.Challenge the Negativity: Recall past triumphs to counteract the influence of your inner critic. Question the validity of the negative thoughts and analyze their basis, whether in reality, external influence, or fear and self-doubt. Establish a sense of empowerment by reminding yourself that you have conquered challenges before and can do so again.Focus on Solutions, Not Problems: Shift your focus from the daunting nature of challenges to the potential solutions. Break down seemingly insurmountable problems into manageable steps, and take small actions towards your goals. Embrace the notion that progress does not always require grand gestures, but rather, consistent effort and the cultivation of a positive mindset.Join Allegra M. Sinclair for an enriching discussion that arms you with the resilience and confidence needed to navigate life's challenges with unwavering self-assuredness. By implementing her 3 amazing tips, you can cultivate a mindset that propels you towards your aspirations, whether in the professional realm or within your personal endeavors. Don't miss this episode of "Your Confident Self," as Allegra empowers you to take charge of your thoughts and stride confidently towards your dreams.

In this episode of Your Confident Self, host Allegra M. Sinclair explores the transformative power of journaling for increased self-awareness and self-improvement. Join Allegra as she uncovers how journaling can help high-achieving career women build confidence and ultimately achieve success and fulfillment.Don't miss out on this episode of Your Confident Self, where journaling becomes the key to unlocking your full potential and building confidence in every area of your life.In today's episode, Allegra introduces journaling as a secret weapon for developing self-awareness. She highlights the importance of understanding our thoughts and emotions to conquer self-doubt and negativity. By diving deeper into our minds, we can identify the factors that fuel our inner critic and work towards silencing it.Here are the main talking points covered in this episode:The power of journaling: Allegra explains that journaling is like having a heart-to-heart conversation with oneself, providing a space for free-flowing thoughts, reflections, and emotions. Journaling can be done in various formats, such as using a notebook, a digital app, or even the notes app on your phone.The benefits of journaling: Allegra emphasizes the numerous benefits of journaling, including increased mindfulness and better understanding of one's emotions and thoughts. Through journaling, patterns start to emerge, and goals become tangible aspirations rather than vague notions.Developing a journaling routine: Allegra encourages listeners to discover a journaling routine that feels right for them. Morning journaling can set a positive tone for the day, while evening journaling allows for reflection and preparation for a peaceful night's sleep. Consistency is key in turning journaling into a habit.Silencing the inner critic: Journaling offers a powerful tool for silencing the inner critic by uncovering and challenging negative beliefs. Allegra shares a personal example of how journaling helped her clarify her motivation for building a successful business after the loss of her mother.Unveiling personal treasure maps: Through journaling, listeners are invited to embark on a journey of self-awareness and empowerment. It enables them to uncover their own personal treasure map, leading to greater clarity and alignment with their goals and aspirations.Closing the episode, Allegra invites listeners to stay tuned to this podcast series for a free downloadable journal, complete with prompts and blank pages to get started on their journaling practice. She encourages listeners to give journaling a try and share their experiences. Join the next episode where Allegra will provide three tips for stopping negative thoughts before they spiral out of control.Full show notes available at https://allegrasinclair.com/journaling-for-brighter-you

In this episode of "Your Confident Self," host Allegra M. Sinclair explores the role of self-doubt as a coping mechanism to protect one's heart. She delves into the sources of self-doubt, how it feeds our inner critic, and provides practical strategies to overcome it. This episode is a must-listen for high-achieving career women who want to be more successful and fulfilled.In this episode you will learn:1. Understanding Self-Doubt and Its Impact:Self-doubt is a common psychological phenomenon characterized by a persistent, critical inner voice that questions abilities, worth, and decisions.The source of self-doubt can be both internal and external, stemming from past experiences or negative messages from others.Self-doubt diminishes self-confidence, fuels anxiety and stress, and can prevent personal growth and progress.2. Recognizing and Addressing Self-Doubt:Self-awareness is crucial in identifying the triggers and patterns of self-doubt. Understanding its sources, whether internal or external, is the first step towards addressing it.Challenging negative thoughts and replacing them with positive and realistic self-affirmations can combat self-doubt.Seeking support from trusted friends, family, or a coach provides a different perspective and emotional support.3. Practicing Self-Compassion and Continuous Learning:Practicing self-compassion involves being kind and forgiving to oneself, treating mistakes as learning opportunities, and focusing on personal growth.Developing and improving skills in areas of self-doubt can boost self-confidence and combat self-doubt.Stepping outside the comfort zone gradually and facing fears can lead to small victories that silence the inner critic.4. Cutting Yourself Some Slack and Embracing Imperfection:Perfectionism can fuel self-doubt. Embracing imperfection and accepting that attempts don't have to be perfect can alleviate the pressure of self-doubt.Being easy on yourself and serving as your own cheerleader is essential for building confidence and overcoming self-doubt.Recruiting trusted friends who believe in you can provide support and encouragement.Self-doubt is a common human experience, particularly for high-achieving career women. By acknowledging and addressing self-doubt, one can work towards building greater self-confidence, a positive self-image, and embracing new opportunities for personal and professional growth. Tune in to the next episode of "Your Confident Self" for more insights on battling your inner critic.

In today's episode of "Your Confident Self," host Allegra M. Sinclair delves into 4 brazen ways to recognize your inner critic. If you're a high-achieving career woman seeking greater success and fulfillment, it's essential to identify and silence that critical voice within. In this episode, Allegra provides practical strategies to empower women on their journey to build confidence and unlock their full potential.In this episode you'll learn:How recognizing your inner critic leads to greater self-awarenessTechniques to interrupt repetitive negative thoughts and reframe them positivelyThe importance of distinguishing between constructive criticism and the voice of the inner criticThe link between silencing the inner critic and building confidenceThe benefit of using a journal to capture and analyze your thoughts4 Ways to Recognize Your Inner Critic:Harsh Words: Recognize the voice of your inner critic by paying attention to the tone of your internal dialogue. Is it unreasonably harsh, mean, or discouraging? Allegra reminds us that constructive criticism is acceptable, but if the messages you're hearing are overly critical to the point of being unproductive, it's likely your inner critic at work.Unfair Comparisons: Your inner critic loves to make unfair comparisons, making you feel inadequate or inferior. Instead of focusing on your own progress and growth, it directs your attention to others' accomplishments, possessions, or abilities. Allegra emphasizes that your only competition is yourself, encouraging listeners to ignore these comparisons and focus on their unique journey.Repetitive Messages: One of the key characteristics of your inner critic is its repetitive nature. It plays the same harmful messages on a loop, preventing you from moving forward and believing in yourself. Allegra advises interrupting these thoughts, reframing negative messages to positive and fact-based ones, and taking a break from replaying past events.Not in Your Best Interests: Your inner critic's intention is not to help you succeed or grow; it wants to hold you back. Recognize that being critical of yourself with harsh words and unfair comparisons serves no purpose in your personal and professional development. Allegra urges listeners to practice self-love and empowerment by silencing their inner critic.Recognizing and silencing your inner critic is an essential step toward building confidence and unlocking your full potential. By paying attention to the harsh words, unfair comparisons, repetitive messages, and unhelpful nature of your inner critic, you can take control of your thoughts and empower yourself to achieve your goals. Join Allegra M. Sinclair in the next episode as she explores the relationship between self-doubt and fear of potential pain and disappointment. Stay tuned to "Your Confident Self" for more invaluable insights and strategies to become your most confident self.Full show notes are available at allegrasinclair.com/recognize-your-inner-critic

Are you a high-achieving career woman looking to be more successful and fulfilled in your life? In this episode of "Your Confident Self," host Allegra M. Sinclair dives deep into the topic of your inner critic and how it affects your confidence and success. Gain insights into recognizing and managing your inner critic, and learn practical strategies to silence that negative voice and embrace your full potential.In this episode we covered:Understanding the nature of your inner critic and its impact on your confidence.Recognizing self-defeating thoughts and patterns through journaling and introspection.Strategies to tame your inner critic and break free from negative cycles.The power of reframing negative messages into positive, realistic ones.Overcoming fear and embracing a positive mindset to achieve your goals.Understanding Your Inner Critic Discover what an inner critic is and how it manifests in your thoughts and emotions. Learn to recognize the negative messages it sends, which can often hold you back from reaching your full potential.The Impact of Self-Defeating Thoughts Understand the connection between your thoughts, feelings, and actions. Explore how negative self-talk leads to emotions like insecurity and sadness, impacting how you show up in the world.Recognizing Harmful Thoughts and Patterns Gain insights into how to identify and analyze your own self-defeating thoughts. By journaling and noting patterns, you can pinpoint the most harmful messages and address them effectively.Taming Your Inner Critic Explore practical strategies to tame your inner critic and break free from unproductive cycles of negative self-talk. Stop replaying events in your mind and seek active solutions instead.Harnessing the Power of Reframing Learn how to reframe negative messages into more realistic and positive ones. Discover the power of finding evidence that contradicts your self-doubt and embracing a more supportive inner dialogue.Choosing a Positive Mindset Consider worst-case scenarios and realize that they are often not as dire as you imagine. By acknowledging and overcoming fear and doubt, you can gain the confidence to move forward towards your goals.Join Allegra M. Sinclair on this month-long journey to uncovering your inner critic and reclaiming your confidence. Tune in to the next episodes of "Your Confident Self" for more in-depth information, strategies, and inspiration to help you overcome self-doubt and live as your most confident self. It's time to silence the inner critic and unlock your full potential.Full show notes can be found at allegrasinclair.com/131

In this episode of "Your Confident Self" hosted by Allegra M. Sinclair, the focus is on mastering the art of prioritizing yourself. High-achieving career women often struggle with saying no and prioritizing their own needs. However, in this thought-provoking episode, Allegra explores why prioritizing yourself is necessary and how confidently saying no can be a game changer. From activating the boss mode button in your life to creating space for what truly matters, this episode will inspire and empower you to prioritize yourself and build confidence.Are you tired of constantly saying yes to everything and feeling overwhelmed? Then this episode is for you. Allegra M. Sinclair dives deep into the incredible world of saying no and prioritizing yourself. Discover the power of confidently choosing what aligns with your core values and saying a resounding yes to what truly matters to you. Build confidence by reclaiming your time, energy, and resources, and create the life you desire.In this episode you'll learn:The benefits of prioritizing yourself: learn how prioritizing yourself is like activating the boss mode button in your life and building a protective shield against burnout.How to overcome fears of being labeled as selfish: challenge the notion that being selfish is a bad thing and embrace the act of self-love and self-preservation.Letting go of the fear of missing out: trust that what is meant for you will find its way to you and confidently choose what aligns with your big dreams and vision.Checking in with your body: learn how your body's reactions can guide you in making decisions that are truly in alignment with your desires and dreams.Checking your plate: determine the realistic capacity you have to take on additional commitments without overwhelming yourself and compromising your well-being.Trusting your gut: tap into your intuition and inner voice to make decisions that honor your own journey and set boundaries that serve you.Saying no without drama: discover strategies for gracefully saying no without feeling guilty or upsetting others, while still maintaining empathy and care.Mastering the art of prioritizing yourself is a key step in building confidence and living life on your own terms. By reclaiming your time, protecting your energy, and confidently saying no, you can create space for what truly matters and fulfill your wildest dreams. Join Allegra M. Sinclair in this empowering episode of "Your Confident Self" and start prioritizing yourself today. Say yes to yourself and build the confidence to live the life you deserve.Full show notes available at https://allegrativity.com/prioritizing-yourself

Welcome to "Your Confident Self," the podcast that empowers high-achieving career women to unlock their full potential and lead successful, fulfilling lives. In this episode, host Allegra M. Sinclair is joined by special guest Mary Chan, a podcast strategist, voice coach, and voice over artist. Together, they dive into the topic of empowering women to use their voice to build confidence. Are you a high-achieving career woman who wants to be more successful and fulfilled? Have you ever felt like your voice is holding you back from reaching your full potential? In this thought-provoking episode, Allegra and Mary explore the power of embracing and using your voice to build confidence in every area of your life. Get ready to unlock the secrets to amplifying your voice, captivating your audience, and unleashing your true potential. In this Episode They Discuss:Embracing Your Authentic Voice: Discover how to let go of imitating others and embrace your unique voice as a source of confidence and authenticity.The importance of Vocal Variety: Learn the importance of incorporating vocal variety by adjusting speed, tone, and inflection to captivate your audience and keep them engaged.True Confidence vs. Material Items: Explore the misconception of buying confidence through material possessions and delve into the essential internal work required for genuine confidence.The Power of Pauses and Filler Words: Discover how strategic pauses and filler words like "ah" and "um" enhance your communication and connect you with your listener.Amplifying Your Voice: Uncover the five keys to amplifying your voice, enabling you to communicate your identity and boost your confidence.The Connection Between Vocal Presentation and Confidence: Understand how your vocal presentation impacts your overall confidence and explore strategies to overcome the "all up in your head" syndrome.Breathing Techniques: Delve into the foundation of effective communication by harnessing the power of breathing and utilizing diaphragmatic breathing for relaxation and control.By the end of this episode, you'll have gained practical insights, mindset shifts, and actionable strategies to help you unleash your confident self and step into your true power.Join Allegra M. Sinclair and Mary Chan in this empowering episode as they guide high-achieving career women like yourself on a journey to leveraging your voice to build confidence, connect with your audience, and create the success and fulfillment you deserve. Tune in and embrace the transformative power of your voice.Full show notes available at https://allegrativity.com/empowering-women-to-use-their-voice/

Welcome to "Your Confident Self," the podcast dedicated to helping high-achieving career women build confidence and achieve success in both their personal and professional lives. In today's episode, we will explore a subject close to our hearts: how women can leverage their influence to empower other women at work. Are you a high-achieving career woman looking to be more successful and fulfilled? Well, stay tuned because we have some valuable insights and strategies to share with you.Creating a Network of Powerful Women: Are you interested in cultivating a network of supportive women who can help you navigate the challenges of your career? I'm excited to announce that I will soon be launching a membership opportunity for ambitious women like you to join a powerful and tight-knit inner circle. If you're eager to connect with like-minded women who are dedicated to their personal growth and professional success, this is the perfect opportunity for you. Email [email protected] to sign up for the waiting list and secure your spot in the exclusive network.IIn today's episode, I dive into the critical role women play in supporting and empowering each other at work. Women face unique challenges in their careers, from balancing your personal life with work during the pandemic to facing microaggressions in the workplace. I explore why it is crucial for women to stand by one another and create an environment that fosters diversity, inclusivity, and equal opportunities.How to Empower Other Women:Celebrate Each Other's Successes: Openly and genuinely celebrate the achievements and successes of other women. By recognizing the accomplishments of our female colleagues, we create a culture of encouragement and support. Together, we can lift each other up and inspire others to strive for greatness.Advocate for Work-Life Balance: Another way you can use your influence to empower other women is by advocating for a healthy work-life balance. Encourage flexible work arrangements and suitable benefits that support the diverse needs of women in the workplace. When we prioritize work-life balance, we not only improve job satisfaction but also promote overall well-being and productivity.Amplify Female Voices: The third suggestion is to actively listen and amplify female voices and ideas. In meetings and discussions, make a conscious effort to give credit where it's due and ensure that the contributions and perspectives of women are valued and acknowledged. By amplifying female voices, we create an inclusive environment that fosters innovation and collaboration.Remember, as high-achieving career women, we have the power to uplift and empower each other. By building a network of supportive women and actively promoting equality and inclusivity, we can create a workplace culture that celebrates success and fosters growth. So, keep striving for confidence, empowerment, and success. I believe in you, and together, we can make a positive impact in the professional world. Please join me next week for the next episode of "Your Confident Self" as we continue our journey towards building confidence.I want to take a moment to express my deepest gratitude for your continued support and participation. It is through your engagement with my podcast that I am able to create meaningful content and foster a community of confident women who empower each other. Thank you for being a valued listener on this journey towards self-confidence and success.Full show notes can be found at https://allegrativity.com/empower-other-women

In this thought-provoking episode of "Your Confident Self," host Allegra M. Sinclair welcomes guest Karin Freeland, a former corporate workaholic turned author, speaker, and certified life reinvention coach. Together, they explore the challenges faced by high-achieving career women and share practical strategies for building confidence, finding fulfillment, and embracing new possibilities. Join Allegra and Karin as they delve into Karin's personal journey, the power of mindset shifts, and the importance of taking action to create a life that aligns with your dreams and values.In this Episode:Are you a high-achieving career woman who yearns for more success and fulfillment? Tune in as Allegra M. Sinclair and her guest, Karin Freeland, discuss how to build confidence and unleash your full potential, both professionally and personally.Karin Freeland, a recovered corporate workaholic and the author of "The Ins and Outs of My Vagina," shares her inspiring story of how she traded the boardroom for the bedroom. Discover how she overcame self-doubt, discovered her dreams, and transformed her life with practical strategies and mindset shifts.Karin and Allegra emphasize the importance of owning your current abilities and seeking assistance in areas where you might need support. They share practical tips for clearing self-limiting beliefs, boosting confidence, and finding success in your chosen path.Discover how Karin's mindset shifted after watching the movie "The Secret" and understanding the power of positive thinking and manifestation. Hear how this newfound perspective led her to make significant changes in her life and embrace new opportunities.Karin opens up about her pivotal moment when she realized that her job was just a means to an end, and she had the power to pursue her dreams. Explore the importance of following your passion, taking risks, and creating a life that fills you with joy and purpose.Karin and Allegra delve into the practical steps required to make a change in your life while still working in a corporate job. From turning inward through journaling to exploring different possibilities, they provide guidance on how to navigate the transition towards a more fulfilling future.Time Stamps:[00:05:23] High achieving women face pressures to conform.[00:07:15] Feeling helpless, planning exit, lacking confidence.[00:12:41] Dissonance between success and personal desires.[00:13:30] Talent doesn't equal purpose; find fulfillment.[00:18:08] Internal reflection, journaling, leaving corporate, pursuing dreams.[00:23:25] Writing book leads to renewed passion, delegation[00:25:16] Explored coaching, got certified, pursued passion.[00:30:20] Coach helps author overcome fears of publishing.[00:34:50] Joys of being over 30: opinions don't matter.[00:35:56] Choose to take action and change your life.[00:40:03] Owning my capabilities and being accountable.[00:44:22] 6 secrets to get unstuck free resource, https://allegrativity.com/6secretsBy exploring Karin Freeland's transformative journey from corporate workaholic to empowered author and coach, Allegra M. Sinclair provides invaluable insights and actionable strategies for high-achieving career women seeking to build confidence, find fulfillment, and create a life that aligns with their dreams. Tune in to "Your Confident Self" today and start embracing your true potential.Full show notes available at https://allegrativity.com/127

Are you a high-achieving professional woman who wants to feel more successful and fulfilled? What if I told you that intentional friendships could be the missing piece to your puzzle? Imagine having a circle of like-minded women who genuinely support your goals, celebrate your victories, and provide the emotional nourishment you've been craving. In this episode I explore the transformative power of building deep and meaningful connections with like-minded people. Whether you're seeking more success or simply longing for a stronger support system, intentional friendships can be a catalyst for personal and career growth. Listen in as I dive into the importance of authenticity, boundaries, and open communication in fostering these empowering relationships.You'll Learn:Developing Authentic Connections: Inside I talk about how developing good listening skills can help you identify potential friends who align with your values and goals. Then I talk about the importance of being your authentic self and how wearing a mask to please others can lead to negative interactions when your true self is revealed. Authenticity is a key ingredient in building intentional friendships.The Impact of Your Inner Circle: Who we spend time with can have a significant impact on our mindset, ambitions, and overall well-being. You should think about how spending time with people who engage in harmful or unwanted behaviors can inadvertently shape your habits. On the flip side, surrounding yourself with driven, goal-oriented individuals can inspire you to set higher goals, strive for success, and ultimately build confidence in your own abilities.Building Supportive Networks: I discuss the importance of intentional friendships in creating a strong support system. I look at the role of emotional health and how having a network of women who listen, provide support, and celebrate victories can positively impact your overall well-being. Intentional friendships offer a level of support and understanding that differs from other relationships.Navigating Personal and Professional Boundaries: Then I peel back the layers of the delicate balance of sharing personal information in professional settings. While it's crucial to maintain appropriate boundaries, I look at how selectively sharing surface-level information can still foster connections with colleagues or acquaintances who may align with your friendship goals. Then I discuss strategies for setting boundaries and understanding what aspects of your life are suitable for workplace discussions.The Power of Intentional Friendships in Career Growth: Finally, I look at the ways intentional friendships can contribute to your career growth. It's interesting to explore how these friendships can provide moral support during career challenges and transitions, celebrate your professional achievements, offer constructive criticism, and even connect you to opportunities within new networks. Intentional friends have a unique ability to boost self-esteem, providing a positive perspective on your abilities and ambitions.Intentional friendships are not only beautiful connections but also essential for personal and career growth. Surrounding yourself with women who genuinely support and believe in your dreams can have a profound impact on your confidence, self-image, and overall happiness. From authentic connections to navigating boundaries and leveraging these friendships for career growth, intentional friendships can reshape your life and bring you joy and fulfillment like never before. Join us in our exploration of intentional friendships and discover the transformative power they hold.[00:03:56] Intentional friendships create space for honest communication.[00:07:53] Intentional friendships offer deeper sharing and support.[00:10:30] Intentional friendships aid

Get ready to increase your financial confidence! In this episode of "Your Confident Self," host Allegra M. Sinclair invites you on an unexpected ride with Patti Handy, an executive and life coach with a burning passion for fueling financial confidence in women.You can forget your fears about managing your finances as a single, divorced, or widowed woman. Financial confidence is availabe to you, too. Patti is here to be your torchbearer, showing you the way to financial empowerment. She shares tasty nuggets of wisdom that will arm you with the knowledge and tools to navigate the labyrinth of finance with ease and peace.Expect the unexpected as Patti reveals the secret sauce to mastering finance: communication. She underscores the importance of finding a financial advisor who can translate baffling financial jargon into a language you understand and love.But that's just the tip of the iceberg. With Patti at the helm, you'll plunge into the depths of finance, emerging with a pocket full of practical advice. You'll learn the A-Z of investing and discover how simple it can be to manage your money effectively.And in a surprising twist, Patti unearths the hidden link between self-care and sound financial decisions. She highlights how nurturing your mental and emotional well-being can contribute to your financial growth.This episode is more than a podcast; it's an invitation to embark on an empowering journey, reshaping the way women perceive and interact with finance. You'll leave equipped and inspired to conquer your financial fears and take control of your financial destiny. So ladies, get ready for a thrilling ride to financial freedom with Patti Handy on "Your Confident Self."In this episode you'll learn:1. Understanding Financial Information - Patti encourages students and individuals to ask for clarification if they don't understand financial terminology or concepts, especially when advisers use acronyms and speak quickly about investing. - Sharing her own experience with a client, Patti highlights the importance of finding someone who can explain financial matters in simpler terms, making it more accessible for individuals without expertise in the area. - Trusting your intuition and seeking clarity can help eliminate feelings of overwhelm and empower you to make informed financial choices.2. Building a Strong Financial Foundation - Starting from wherever you are, Patti recommends establishing a checking account for bill payments and a savings account as an emergency fund. Aim for six months' worth of expenses as a reserve. - Consider utilizing a money market account for better interest generation alongside traditional savings accounts. - Patti advises against seeking financial advice from individuals who themselves don't have a sound financial standing. It's essential to find an expert who can communicate at your pace and understanding level.3. Financial Coaching: Education and Guidance - Patti explains that financial coaching involves a combination of education and coaching to help individuals with their finances, addressing topics such as budgeting, debt payoff, credit repair, and home buying. - Her online course covers nine different areas of life and includes videos and group coaching calls to enhance understanding and provide practical guidance. - Financial coaching empowers women to explore their money stories, understand their relationship with money, and develop strategies to improve their financial well-being.4. Importance of Self-Care in Financial Decision-Making - Self-care plays a fundamental role in making good financial decisions. Patti recommends taking time for activities that bring you joy and peace, such as exercise, meditation, or connecting with loved ones. -...

In this episode I dive deep into the world of confidence and its incredible power to revolutionize your entire world. I'll spill the beans on what confidence really means and how it can turn your life upside down (in the best way!). Say goodbye to those sneaky confidence killers that have been holding you back and say hello to a new, fearless you! Oh, and did I mention the best part? I'm going to share five super easy actions that will skyrocket your confidence starting right now! So, if you're itching to break free from limitations and embrace the full life you've always dreamed of, stay right here. This episode is your personal guide to building unshakeable confidence, and trust me, you won't want to miss it!Building confidence is a skill that requires continuous learning and engagement in activities aligned with passions and interests. Sinclair notes the importance of pushing beyond one's comfort zone to build confidence and realize their potential. She references a previous podcast guest who talked about the value of discomfort for personal growth.Allegra points out that lack of confidence can hinder one's abilities to create the things they want in life, apply for better job positions, and improve their relationships. Sinclair notes that building confidence comes from within and is not dependent on societal beauty standards. She emphasizes the importance of self-acceptance without seeking external validation.What You'll Learn:Confidence is a skill that anyone can learnHow confidence changes your lifeWhy confident women get more opportunities in their careersWhat's undermining your confidenceWhat you can learn from Renee Radick on Ally McBeal5 easy actions to boost your confidence right NowBuilding confidence is not only essential for personal growth, but it's also a powerful tool for transforming your life. When you believe in yourself and your abilities, you can achieve anything you set your mind to. Confidence is something that can be developed over time with consistent effort and practice. So don't let self-doubt hold you back from living the life you deserve. Believe in yourself and take action towards your dreams – the world is waiting for you to shine!Listeners can get full show notes, a transcript, and a copy of Allegra's free workbook on Building Confidence by visiting https://allegrativity.com/124.

I had the incredible opportunity to chat with best-selling author and award-winning empowerment coach, Cristina M. Ramirez, about her inspiring journey and the lessons she's discovered through embracing discomfort. Cristina's story of overcoming addiction and the loss of her husband, as well as finding solace in difficult situations, is a testament to the power of discomfort in unlocking our full potential.Together, we delve into practical strategies and mind-set shifts that can help anyone find joy and growth in uncomfortable situations, whether you're pursuing a big promotion, starting a business, or simply seeking to boost your confidence. We also discuss how to harness our unique gifts and talents, and the importance of recognizing when we're choosing comfort over growth.Don't miss this enlightening conversation with Cristina Ramirez as we uncover the key to a more fulfilling, confident life: embracing discomfort. You'll learn the power of shifting our attitude, the balance between comfort and growth, and how to truly delight in our own greatness. So, tune in and begin your journey to a more confident, empowered you!What you'll learn:- The benefits of using discomfort comfort as an opportunity to grow- How to gain confidence from overcoming difficult challenges- The 5 superpowers that can change everything- How discomfort can be seen as a teacher instead of something to fearMeet Cristina Ramirez:Cristina Ramirez spent a large part of her 20s numbing discomfort with drugs and alcohol. After becoming sober, she built her dream life, which included a happy marriage and children. However, in 2021, her husband was diagnosed with and died of cancer, leaving her to raise their children alone. Despite the immense grief and sadness, Cristina remained hopeful and had a little light that guided her through her first year of grief. She drew from this experience to write a book.Resources mentioned in this episode:Christina's websiteCristina on InstagramMindset by Carol DweckEmpowered by DiscomfortSpecial Discount link for Empowered by DiscomfortIf you enjoyed this conversation with Cristina Ramirez, be sure to subscribe to my podcast for more empowering content and don't forget to leave me a review. Thanks for listening!

Host Allegra Sinclair interviews Rachel Astarte, a psychotherapist and coach who helps women in midlife navigate challenges, develop their true selves, and step into mentorship. The episode covers a range of topics including:- Rachel Astarte's three-step process for redefining mentorship beyond traditional workplace settings.- The importance of healing childhood wounds, learning healthy boundaries, and understanding one's importance to collective consciousness.- The power and beauty of the Sacred Feminine and how women in midlife can embrace their self-creating potential.- The negative focus on aging and the importance of embracing perimenopause and menopause as rites of passage.- The importance of recognizing our own strengths and value, and how this can help us contribute to collective consciousness.Throughout the episode, Allegra and Rachel discuss how the broader definition of mentorship enables more people to participate, including those who may have made mistakes or feel like they are not "qualified" to be mentors. Rachel also highlights the importance of recognizing our own worth and the value of our experiences, which can be helpful to others seeking advice. The episode ends with Rachel offering a free workbook called "Polishing the Gem" for listeners interested in stepping into mentorship in midlife.Rachel Astarte is a post-menopausal woman who is a dedicated life coach and mentor. She is passionate about helping people to embrace their true selves and successfully navigate the challenges of life. Over time, Rachel's message has evolved as she gained clarity during her own personal experiences with perimenopause. She now believes that women in midlife should share their wisdom and mentor others to contribute to the greater good of collective consciousness. Rachel's mission is to encourage everyone to live their best lives and make a positive impact on the world around them.Resources mentioned:Rachel's website: https://rachelastartetherapy.com/Full show notes are available at https://allegrativity.com/122

In a world where stress and negativity seem to dominate, it's easy to overlook the power of gratitude. But expressing gratitude for the positive aspects of our lives is one of the simplest and most effective ways to enhance our wellbeing. Gratitude has been scientifically proven to have numerous benefits that can transform our lives in unexpected ways. In this episode, we'll explore eight hidden benefits of gratitude that you might not be aware of. From boosting your mental health to improving your relationships, these benefits offer compelling reasons why you should make gratitude a part of your daily routine. I added one gratitude habit to my daily routine, and it has blown me away with its effects. So if you're looking for an easy way to improve your life, stay tuned and discover how cultivating a thankful mindset could change everything.8 Hidden Benefits of Gratitude:The 8 Hidden Benefits of Gratitude are:Gratitude Reframes AdversityGratituder Strengthens RelationshipsGratitude Lowers StressGratitude Improves your HealthGratitude Increases Self-Esteem and ConfidenceGratitude Improves Sleep QualityGratitude Reduces MaterialismGratitude Boost CreativityGratitude Is A Habit (Not Just A Feeling!)Embracing a grateful spirit doesn’t mean you’ll never have another bad day. But it does mean that you’ll approach these days differently. Instead of cataloguing everything that’s going wrong, you’ll square your shoulders and look for the silver lining. Because you know if you search hard enough, you will find it. That’s the power of gratitude!Full show notes available at https://allegrativity.com/121

Are you ready to be blown away by Kristine Scott's journey to mastering the art of conflict resolution? Instead of shying away from difficult conflicts, Kristine dove headfirst into the topic, determined to gain a deeper understanding. What she found was truly inspiring: women have an innate ability to resolve conflicts. Armed with this knowledge, Kristine has helped countless women and revolutionized the way we approach conflict resolution. Join us as we delve into Kristine's journey and uncover how you too can tap into her 3 rings of conflict resolution to become a conflict resolutionary!In this episode, you will be able to:Recognize the intrinsic upper hand women possess in conflict resolution scenarios.Adopt a questioning and compassionate approach towards discord.Comprehend the effects of COVID-19 on professional disputes and communication.Learn about the 3 rings of conflict resolution and how to use themSpecial guest: Kristine ScottMeet Kristine Scott, an exceptional conflict resolution expert who began her career in social services, where she quickly realized the importance of effectively handling challenging situations. Over the past 20 years, Kristine has honed her skills in conflict resolution, becoming a sought-after trainer for clients ranging from the Seattle Space Needle to farmers markets and office teams. With a keen focus on helping people find their inner strength and remain calm in the face of adversity, Kristine's unique approach to conflict resolution has made her a go-to resource for women navigating workplace challenges.Women and Conflict: Understanding Social Conditioning and Natural AdvantagesIn today's modern workplace, it's crucial to recognize how society shapes the way women approach conflict resolution. See, women are often taught to avoid being too direct, demanding, or arrogant, which can make it seem like they're not as good at handling conflicts as men. But here's the thing: women have a natural advantage when it comes to resolving conflicts because they tend to be more aware of emotional and social needs. This awareness helps them navigate conflicts more effectively by prioritizing mutual benefit and fostering understanding among everyone involved.On the podcast, Kristine Scott points out that women aren't inherently wired to deal with conflicts differently than men. It's society's expectations that contribute to this disparity. Even with these external influences, Scott emphasizes that women tend to be more internally focused, which allows them to read situations better and respond with grace, ultimately leading to positive outcomes in conflict resolution.Recognizing the Toll of Conflict in the Workplace and Managing Body ResponsesConflict in the workplace can be physically and mentally exhausting, especially for women who may already feel pressure to suppress their emotions or concerns. To properly manage conflict, understanding how your body and mind respond to tension and identifying its effects is crucial. During the conversation, Kristine Scott highlighted the importance of being aware of one's physical and emotional responses to conflict. She discussed the necessity of managing these reactions and cultivating the skills to use them effectively, as well as recognizing when it might be time to step away from a harmful environment.The Opportunity for High Achieving Women in Conflict Resolution and Creating a Supportive EnvironmentHigh-achieving women have a unique opportunity to foster a culture of collaboration and respect by supporting one another in conflict resolution. By creating an environment that respects dissenting opinions and values a mutual-win approach, women leaders can champion better approaches to conflict resolution that benefit everyone involved. In the podcast, Kristine Scott encourages women to

Are you stuck in a rut, or facing a challenge that seems impossible? Maybe you have been wanting to make a huge change in your life but don’t know where to begin. Or maybe it’s time to take your career in a different direction and you need some help figuring out how best to do it. That’s where coaching comes into the picture. In this episode, you will be able to:Unearth the transformative impact of coaching on your personal growth and career success.Learn various coaching types tailored to specific goals, streamlining your journey for better results.Comprehend the vital role certified coaches play in delivering valuable guidance and support.Delve into the coaching process and understand the structure of an effective session.Recognize the importance of measuring coaching progress to ensure sustainable growth and development.A coach can help you implement what you learn and support your goals.Introduction to CoachingCoaching is a powerful tool for personal and professional growth. It involves working with an experienced coach who will support you in achieving a specific goal. Coaches bring an unbiased perspective to their clients' situations, allowing them to identify solutions and pathways that the individual may not have realized on their own. In the episode, host Allegra M. Sinclair emphasizes the importance of the coaching process in helping individuals grow in various aspects of their lives, such as increasing self-confidence, setting and achieving goals, and improving focus and conflict management skills. She believes that coaching offers a valuable combination of support, guidance, and accountability that can create sustainable change for clients, provided they take an active role in their own growth.Types of CoachesThere is a multitude of coaches available, each specializing in specific areas of personal and professional growth. Some common types of coaches include career coaches, health and wellness coaches, relationship coaches, executive coaches, performance coaches, spiritual coaches, money coaches, and body image coaches. Selecting the right type of coach to match your specific needs is crucial for getting the most out of the coaching relationship. Allegra M. Sinclair encourages listeners to research and choose a coach based on their unique requirements by seeking recommendations, checking out how a potential coach shows up online, and engaging in direct conversations with potential coaches to gauge their experience in your desired area of growth. She underscores the importance of partnering with a coach who aligns with yours goals and offers the support and guidance needed for a successful partnership.What to Expect from CoachingWhen starting a coaching journey, you should expect an initial assessment or questionnaire to help your coach tailor her approach. Confidentiality is paramount, and regular coaching sessions typically take place monthly or weekly, depending on individual needs. Clients may also be assigned homework to reinforce learning and track progress. Coaching is a two-way dialogue, requiring clients to actively engage, participate, and be willing to implement changes. Allegra emphasizes the importance of an open, honest, and collaborative relationship with a coach. She recommends that, throughout the coaching process, clients evaluate their progress and discuss any changes in goals or expectations with their coach, ensuring a productive and impactful experience. She invites listeners interested in pursuing coaching to visit her website, explore her expertise, and engage schedule a conversation to determine whether her services align with their personal and professional growth aspirations at https://allegrativity.com/discovery.

Have you ever been told that the only way to manage your emotions in the workplace is to suppress or ignore them? But this strategy has only left you feeling stuck, frustrated, and unfulfilled? If so, this episode is for you! Learn how to consciously address and guide your emotional responses, reduce the impact of emotional triggers, and enhance your emotional resilience, so you can become an emotionally savvy professional.In this episode, you will be able to:Uncover the power of the Emotionally Savvy Assessment (ESA) framework to navigate emotions in professional settings.Master four thought-provoking introspective queries for intentional emotional regulation.Delve into effective self-care practices to minimize vulnerability to emotional triggers.Develop emotional strength through journaling exercises and heightened self-awareness.Understand the value of seeking coaching to bolster your emotional skill set.The Emotionally Savvy Assessment (TM) was developed by Allegra Sinclair based on her experiences working in high-stress situations.Managing Emotions in the WorkplaceWhile emotions are an inevitable part of everyday life, maintaining professionalism and strong interpersonal relationships in the workplace are crucial for success. A deliberate and thoughtful approach to emotional management is essential for striking a balance between being authentic and avoiding career-limiting mistakes. This involves identifying emotional triggers, overcoming them, and being aware of both immediate and long-term consequences of one's actions. Adopting a proactive approach to managing emotions can help women achieve higher emotional intelligence and contribute to the overall success of their organizations. Allegra M. Sinclair emphasizes the importance of introspection and emotional awareness in the workplace. Her Emotionally Savvy Assessment (ESA) approach asks four reflective questions to help women identify their emotions and respond in a more intentional and constructive manner. Allegra encourages women to practice this approach regularly, achieving better emotional control and fostering improved relationships with their colleagues.

Have you heard the myths about dressing for confidence and success? Maybe you've heard that you need expensive designer clothes, that you have to wear a suit every day or that you have to dress in one specific style. The truth of dressing for success is far more complex. Listen to this episode of the podcast as Toi Sweeney shares the truth and debunks the myths about dressing for confidence and success.A TEDx speaker, entrepreneur, and host of the Well Dressed Brand TV show, Toi has a unique perspective on how dressing for confidence can lead to success in both personal and professional life.When Toi Sweeney ventured into the fashion and design industry, she had no idea her journey would lead her through a devastating business setback, a crushing personal tragedy, and an unexpected use of color and wardrobe as a business strategy. In this episode, you will learn:How Toi gathered the courage to step into an area in which none of the people looked like herHow to remain confident when you reach a bigger stage in your careerWays to refine your personal image with strategic wardrobe choicesWhat's more important than making a good first impressionHarnessing the power of color psychology to boost confidence and self-expressionWho is Toi Sweeney?Toi Sweeney, an accomplished fashion stylist and brand image strategist, joins Allegra M. Sinclair on Your Confident Self. With her impressive background as the founder and chief style officer of the Well Dressed Brand, Toi is a powerhouse in the fashion industry. From founding her own design firm, Her Majesty the Queen, to managing the image of almost 30 TV personalities at the leading home shopping network, she uses her background to tell original stories through fashion.The resources mentioned in this episode are:Consider reading Toi Sweeney's book, Secrets of a Well Dressed Brand, for more insights on building your personal brand and image.Tune in to the Well Dressed Brand TV show to learn more about style, confidence, and personal branding from Toi Sweeney.Visit Toi Sweeney's website, ToiSweeney.com, to explore her services, resources, and offerings.Watch Toi Sweeney's TEDx talk rejecting your story and embracing your adventure.Get full show notes at https://allegrativity.com/toi

Move towards it. If something scares you, move toward it. Particularly when it's something that scares you, that's not going to kill you but will elevate your life, why not do it?" - C. Rene WashingtonC. Rene Washington is a certified life coach, author, and speaker known around the world for encouraging women to pivot and coaching women to let stuff go. She is the creator and founding partner of Career Triage HQ, which provides coaching services to help women find the work that lights them on fire.C. Rene Washington was a passionate reader and had always wanted to write a book. One day, she was in an optical shop, where she met an older Black woman trying on glasses. When the woman expressed doubt about wearing the bold red glasses, C. Rene Washington encouraged her to take risks and embrace her true self. This experience inspired C. Rene Washington to realize that she too needed to take risks and discover her true self, beyond her roles and titles. She eventually took a girlfriend trip to Greece and saw how taking up space and embracing her true self was beneficial to those around her. She learned that when we focus on our true desires, it is not a solo journey, but one that takes many people with us.In this episode, you will learn the following:What is the power of taking up space and claiming your own as a woman?How do we choose who is worthy of our vulnerability?Who are we without our roles and titles?Resources:Career Triage HQC. Rene Washington, Mindset MavenTake the Trip! 4 Journeys Every Midlife Woman Needs to Live in Purpose and FreedomThe Wisdom of MenopauseFull show notes can be found at https://allegrativity.com/reneVisit https://allegrasinclair.com/qa to submit a question for a special Q&A episode of the podcast at the beginning of March!Connect with Allegra:Instagram: https://instagram.com/allegramsinclairTwitter: https://twitter.com/allegrasinclairPinterest: https://pinterest.com/allegrasinclairLinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/allegrasinclair

Several months back, I was checking my analytics for my podcast, and I noticed that I had passed the 100,000 download mark, and I put a note in my planner to put together some sort of celebration to thank all of my listeners for helping me reach this milestone. And then I blinked and six months had passed. Why am I telling you this? Because there are two phases to my celebration, and both of them will benefit you, my awesome listeners. Phase One, I'm going to do an All Q and A episode. So the last episode in the month of February will include me answering all of the questions that you submit. How can you submit a question? It's really easy. You can send me an email at [email protected] or you can go to the website at https://allegrativity.com/QA, and you can record your brief question right there and I'll answer it for you live on the show.Phase Two, is a contest where there's going to be a couple of different things that you can do to help me celebrate the milestone and then you'll get chances to win prizes. What kind of prizes? Mugs, t shirts, books, subscriptions to Audible, and a $500 coupon sponsored by one of my clients who wants to open up the world of coaching to one of you. So how do you get ready for Phase Two? All you need to do is make sure you're on my email list. You can make sure that you're subscribed to the email on that same page, https://allegrativity.com/qa You'll want to make sure you're on my email list because when I open up the phase where you can start doing little fun activities in order to get entries into the prize drawings, I am going to communicate all the details through email.So thank you so much for helping me reach this major milestone. I could not be more excited, and I can't wait to thank you in more tangible ways over the next few weeks.

In this week's episode of the Your Confident Self podcast, Allegra Sinclair interviews Trynette Lariba, the Curvy Fit RN. Trynette's programs challenge women to love their bodies unconditionally and accept who they are to help them fulfill their purpose. Trynette shared her experience going against what society portrays as normal and how she encourages women to stand out. Her purpose is to help women accept their body shapes to build up their confidence and earn the money they deserve.Submit your questions for the All Q&A Episode at [email protected] or visit allegrativity.com/QAGet your Affirmations for a Curvy Woman: bit.ly/curvygift

If you're a member of Gen X and tired of feeling unfulfilled by your career, this episode is for you. Kay Kirkman stops by the podcast to help you get unstuck and move toward the work you really want to do.We discussed:An explanation of who Gen X isWhat makes Gen X unique from Baby Boomers or MillennialsHow Gen X can learn to communicate their value at workWhy learning to pivot is a critical skill for this groupSteps to building your career passion.If you're not sure where to start with finding your career passion, get your Dream Job Discovery list from Kay at https://joyfuldreamlife.comFull show notes are available at https://allegrativity.com/gen-x-career-the-forgotten-generation/

While you may not realize it, the way you communicate affects every area of your life. From your job and your career to your personal relationships and friendships, you're constantly communicating. If you're not a skilled communicator that is an awful lot of opportunities for things to go wrong for you. Many people aren’t good at communicating. That’s because they’re using bad communication skills without even realizing it. There are five basic communication approaches and understanding them can be incredibly helpful when it comes to improving your communication. We are going to look at aggressive communicators, passive communicators, passive-aggressive communicators, manipulative communicators, and assertive communicators. A great way of looking at the different styles is through human behaviors. Five styles of communicators:Aggressive communicatorsPassive communicatorsPassive-aggressive communicatorsManipulative communicatorsAssertive communicatorsReviewing these five styles of communication can smack you in the face with some uncomfortable truths. You may realize you’ve been using a communication style that isn’t creating what you want in your relationships. Hang on, that's ok. You can't fix something you won't face.Keep in mind that the purpose of learning your communication style isn’t to beat yourself up for any perceived failures or flaws. Rather, the goal here is to learn how to embrace a healthier and more confident communication style.

Everyone expresses themselves differently. Your communication style can define you – it’s how you make yourself heard and your thoughts remembered. It’s the key to making meaningful connections that can influence every aspect of your life. The way you communicate reflects your inner thoughts and feelings. Your signature communication style is a combination of the various elements that make up who you are – your values, beliefs, knowledge, culture, personality, and more – all combined. This makes your signature communication style unique.In this episode we look at:How introverts communicateHow extroverts communicateHow your wardrobe is a form of communicationHow the way you make people feel is part of your communication styleThe main takeaway is – whatever communication style you have, own it!

If you want to become a great listener, you can. It just takes some practice and understanding of how people communicate. Being a great listener will help you develop your communication skills and ensure you have an easier time understanding what someone is saying directly and indirectly. Here are some top tips to help you take your listening skills to an even higher level. Secrets of great listeners:They stay present in the conversationThey avoid distractions when someone is communicatingThey avoid interrupting or talking over peopleThey pay attention to the person's body languageThey stay curious about what is being shared Listening is an important part of confident communication. There is a lot that can get in the way of great listening. Thankfully, these tips will help you be a more effective listener and build more confident communication skillsTo get updates whenever a new episode is published visit AllegraSinclair.com/follow

Of all the great communication skills, listening may be the most important. We often think speaking is the most valuable part of communication when in fact, listening is. Being an effective listener means more than taking in information in order to respond--much more! Listening to understand instead of listening to respond is powerful. What does listening to understand mean? Listening to understand means being fully present and engaged with the person who is speaking. It means giving them your undivided attention and trying to see things from their perspective.Learn:The critical differences between hearing and listeningWhy listening to learn is more difficult than listening to respondTwo simple tools to help you understand what is being saidRate and review this podcast on Podchaser.Follow this podcast at https://allegrasinclair.com/follow

Gary Chapman is the creator of the Five Love Languages concept. This concept ranks the ways we give and receive love into five categories:Words of affirmationQuality timePhysical touchActs of serviceReceiving gifts This episode may seem misplaced in a podcast series on confident communication but your love language is a form of communication. How you give and receive love is communicating to other people that you care and that they matter. When you feel connected and understood communication flows easily.  Communication skills don't apply to work situations only, they apply to all areas of our lives. So, take a few minutes to think about your love language and how you can use it to build deeper relationships with the people in your life.Love Language QuizYour Confident Self on Podchaser

The most important thing effective leaders have in common is their communication skills. Being a leader requires a lot of skill sets. Being able to communicate well is at the top of the list. If you're in leadership and you can't convey a message, bring people together, or help resolve complex problems you may not be in leadership very long. If you want to be a better leader you must improve your communication skills. It's important to increase your communication skills so you, and those depending on you, can thrive. Leaders who can't communicate effectively will have a hard time moving up in their careers. Leaders need to be able to communicate their vision, build trust, inspire others, and provide direction. Without effective communication skills, leaders will struggle in all of these areas.Listen to this episode to learn:Ways effective leaders communicate differentlyThe types of commnication training effective leaders need

Nonverbal communication makes up the majority of what is being shared between two people. Great communication includes speaking and listening, but what you're saying is emphasized by nonverbal gestures. As we communicate, our senses take in much more than what is being said audibly. We are paying close attention to other things too. Nonverbal communication includes things like: Body languageProximityGesturesFacial expressionsTone of voiceNonverbal communication is a vital part of communication. By being aware of nonverbal cues, we can better understand the message someone is trying to convey. We can also use nonverbal cues to our advantage to better communicate our own message.Full show notes are available. at https://allegrasinclair.com/your-confident-self

Dealing with difficult people can be exhausting. Even the most confident communicator takes a deep breath before engaging with someone who is difficult. Whether it's a difficult co-worker, client or family member, there are certain communication strategies you can use to diffuse the situation and keep your peace.It can be hard to know what to do when dealing with difficult people but silence is a valid choice.Many people are uncomfortable with silence but it's a powerful tool. Here you'll find:Tips for communicating with difficult peopleTips for removing yourself from unhealthy conversationsFull show notes are available at https://allegrasinclair.com/your-confidentself

Sometimes there are demands on your life that make self-care nearly impossible. As a result, self-care gets shoved way down the list of things you’d like to do but can’t or don’t. Sometimes this is temporary or situational and other times it becomes chronic. Even in the most difficult times, it is still possible to make self-care a priority. In this episode we look at:What self-care has to do with communicationWhat happens when self-care isn't a priorityHow you feel when you ignore self-careTips for keeping self-care a priorityWhat does self-care have to do with communication? Simply put, self-care makes you a better communicator. When you take care of yourself, you are able to show up as your best self in all areas of life. You have more energy and you're less stressed. When you're caring for yourself and taking time to restore and refresh, you are able to think more clearly.All of these things lead to improved communication. This makes your communication more understandable, clear, and confident.Self-care is essential in order to be a confident and effective communicator. When you're not taking care of yourself, you're more likely to experience stress and anxiety, which can lead to negative reactions and communication failures. However, when you make self-care a priority, you see vast improvements in all areas of your life, including your communication abilities.Full show notes are available at https://allegrasinclair.com/podcast

Confident communicators are influenced by other confident people. No one knows how to do life completely on their own. There's no instruction manual handed out when we are born. We learn about life and all there is to know through things that are taught and caught. Role models play a big part in how we develop. The stronger the role model, the stronger their influence. Role models are everywhere. You don't need to know someone personally for them to be a role model for you. Thanks to books, movies, and social media you can find influential people who communicate well and help you develop a more confident communication style. Here are some tips for finding high quality role models. Look for people who communicate with confidenceFind role models who make you feel good about yourselfChoose someone who is successful in the area you want to improve communicationFind people who inspire you to be, do, and have moreCast a wide net over a variety of peopleConsider what qualities you admire in others and find role models that possess these qualitiesBe bold and make healthy, new connectionsTake your time in choosing role modelsCommunication is essential for our everyday lives. We use communication to interact with others, share our thoughts. Developing a healthy communication style is easier when you have someone to show you the way. We can't expect to always know the best tips, tricks, and skills we need for confident communication. Thankfully we can observe or speak to people who influence us. If you want to see growth in your communication style, find and follow people who inspire you.Full show notes available at https://allegrasinclair.com/your-confident-self

In episode 85 I shared how your childhood can impact your communication style. Maybe your communication skills need some work and you have bad habits that should be broken. That's ok! You can always develop better communication skills. The first step in dropping a bad communication habit is recognizing it and owning it. You may be unaware that you've got some poor communication habits. You can't change something you're not aware of or won't acknowledge. The good news is there's plenty you can do to identify, break, and replace your bad habits with more effective ones. Try these steps: AssessmentEvaluationPlanningImplementing Practicing Bad communication habits can be broken! By taking the time to assess, evaluate, plan, implement and practice better communication skills, you'll develop healthier communication habits that will serve you well in all situations. Soon your bad habit will be a thing of the past. Keep a journal or get a buddy to join you for accountability while you're practicing the new behaviors. Don't stress yourself if you've got some bad habits when it comes to communicating, this is very common. You can drop those bad habits and learn to effectively communicate in very healthy ways. Follow these five steps to identify and remove your bad habits from your communication style.Full show notes are available at https://allegrasinclair.com/your-confident-self

There's nothing like communicating with a confident woman who is secure in herself. Confident women communicate with ease and leave people feeling better after spending time with them. Wouldn't it be nice to feel your best every time you communicate? You can, by focusing on your confidence! Women who communicate confidently share some key characteristics. They:Tend to be more positive than negativeAre comfortable with themselvesKnow what they want to communicateAre assertiveAre respectful of othersAre good listenersUunderstand othersAre non-judgmentalBeing a confident communicator leads to any number of positive outcomes. From being non-judgmental to building better relationships, confident women top the list of effective and powerful speakers. Working on your confidence can help you improve your interpersonal skills and develop an effective communication style.  Full show notes available at allegrasinclair.com/086

Your parents didn't do this on purpose but they may have sabotaged your communication style. If you find that you have difficulty communicating or often find yourself at odds with other people, it could be that your childhood sabotaged your communication style. We learn what we live and if you lived in a home with chaos or unhealthy forms of communication, it's likely you adopted those traits and you're still using that framework as an adult. You might not realize it, but these childhood habits are holding you back. 3 ways your childhood may have sabotaged your communication style. In your childhood:the key people in your life sent mixed messagesyou were unable or unwilling to be directyour opinions or thoughts weren't encouraged or consideredYour childhood has an impact on every aspect of your life, including how you communicate. If your childhood communications weren't healthy, it is showing up in how you relate to and communicate with others. Getting some insight into your childhood can help determine if it influenced your communication style in positive or negative ways. If you discover some gaps, it's a great time to learn some confident communication skills that can overcome your earlier lessons. Full show notes are available at https://allegrasinclair.com/podcast

Most people are terrible communicators. This can lead to miscommunication, misunderstandings, and conflict. Confident communication is the key to effetive relationships.Building relationships is important to everyone. No one wants to be in conflict with people and feel disconnected. Most of us are searching to build meaningful relationships at home and at work. One of the easiest ways to have meaningful relationships is to be a more confident communicator. Confident communication starts with confident people. Confident communication is key to effective relationships. We all want to feel connected and at ease with the people around us. It’s easier than you think to become a more confident communicator. Start by being a more positive person, listening well, using good body language, asking interesting questions, and expressing genuine interest in others. When we make an effort to connect with others in this way, we create meaningful relationships that enrich our lives both professionally and personally. So why not start today? Share this episode with a friend and start building better relationships together.Full show notes are available at: https://allegrasinclair.com/084

We've all been there. You put in long hours, do your best work, and contribute to the team - but when it comes time for recognition or a raise, you're ignored. It's hard not to feel devalued when you're constantly putting in effort but don't see the results. You start to doubt yourself and wonder what's wrong with you.The good news is that you're not alone. In this episode of Your Confident Self, I'll help you understand how to recover from the disappointment and move forward. I'll also share tips on how to stay confident, improve your skills to communicate your worth and maintain a positive self-image.

Anna Oakes is a consultant coach and caretaker of humanity. She combines her love for humanity with her 20 plus years of corporate experience. Now the magic, the intersection of her love for humanity and her love and understanding of corporate is what she's going to share with us today. She's not talking about something that she's read about, or something that she saw on TV, or an article that she read in an airplane magazine while she was on a flight. What she's bringing today is what she knows because she has walked it, she has been on the ground. and she's walked it and talked it. And she's going to tell us how we visualize what our next best step is, how we move from where we are to where we want to be, and most importantly, how we reclaim ownership of our career in a way that lights us on fire. In this episode we discussed:How COVID has affected our spirits, family and work dynamicsHow to determine what you should keep doing and what you should changeWhy now is the perfect time for organizations to changeHow we’ve lost control of our own careersHow the pandemic has changed the way we view workHow we can reclaim ownership, direction, energy for our careers?The number one cause of burnout right now in the world of workHow to bridge the gap between self awareness and self advocacyThe difference between being managed and being ledFull show notes and transcript available at https://allegrasinclair.com/082

There are some situations you don’t expect to learn anything from, like watching an episode of Columbo. I love that show, but I consider it pure entertainment and a light-version at that. I recently took a second look at it with a specific goal in mind–to consider what Columbo might say about our current uncertain times.At times like these, we could all use a role model who knows how to thrive in the most uncertain times. Hence, my ‘research’ into Columbo. In case you haven’t seen the show, he always got the most puzzling cases to solve, or he got what seemed to be a simple case and immediately complicated it before he solved it.In every instance, no matter how uncertain the case seemed, Columbo kept smiling and showing up authentically until he solved the case. Let’s see how he did this so we can learn to thrive in the most uncertain times.Full transcript and shownotes at https://allegrasinclair.com/081

This episode was 17 years in the making. Joining me on the podcast is a woman who had to punch fear in the throat and shut down a successful business in order to chase her true dream. An award-winner in two different careers, Ana Lydia Monaco stopped by to walk us through her big, scary career pivot and let us know how the shift worked out! Her insights on being true to who you are and walking through life with grace are going to rock your socks.Growing up, nobody in Ana Lydia's immediate family was encouraging her to pursue her dreams. In fact, she was told her dreams wouldn't come true so she should abandon them. In their world she was supposed to go to college and become a doctor, lawyer, or accountant. That was what they knew, so that's all they encouraged her to pursue. There is nothing wrong with being a doctor, lawyer or accountant, as long as that's what you want to do. Listen in to find out how she found the courage to buck that system.In this episode we discussed:How Ana Lydia helped engineer my most embarrassing celebrity momentWhat made her decide to shutter her award-winning PR businessWhat made her keep going when people told her to stopWhen she knew she wanted to be a filmmakerHow she handled the pressure of being a young, latina woman breaking barriers in entertainmentYou can find full show notes at https://allegrasinclair.com/080

Joining me on the podcast today is a super successful entrepreneur who knows a lot about battling low self-confidence and learning to appreciate her own beauty. Jeannell Darden is the Founder & CEO of Moisture Love. It's been quite a journey from a chance encounter at a natural hair store in Downtown Durham to the podcast, but I'm delighted that Jeannell finally made it.Getting comfortable with your own beauty is a complicated and life-long process. Jeannell breaks down how she has worked on this (and continues to work on this) to be more successful. Many of her obstacles were internal versus external challenges. Her story will inspire you and help you see how you have been ignoring your own magic.In this episode we discussed:How Jeannell Darden went from Engineering to EntrepreneurshipWhy she kept damaged hair for 3 years and what she did when she finally cut itWhy you shouldn't make promises you can't keepHow she got to a place where she accepted her beautyHow she grew more confident in her appearanceHow I made her eyeballs sweatHow to raise confident girls and what this leads toThe advice she would give to her 17-year-old selfFull show notes and the transcript are available at https://allegrasinclair.com/079Find Jeannell on Facebook at https://www.facebook.com/moisturelove/

Most of us are taught to be people pleasers from a very young age, so the idea that there are any benefits to be achieved if you stop caring if people like you is probably a new one for many of us. The biggest advantage is that it frees you to be your authentic self, shaking off the weight of society's expectations so that you can focus on creating your own unique destiny.There are actually many advantages to being disliked and unpopular. Here are just a few.Being True to YourselfNot Bowing to Peer or Parental PressureSetting Your Own GoalsAchieving Your DreamsBeing Free from Meaningless DistractionsYou can find the full transcript and show notes at https://allegrasinclair.com/078Follow me on Twitter: https://twitter.com/allegrasinclairFollow me on Instagram: https://instagram.com/allegramsinclair

So many people are suffering right now. Between the global health pandemic and the scourge that is rampant racism here in America, people are suffering. And more than that, they are angry that the world changed without their permission and they are struggling to name what is going on with them.We are most in trouble when we’re struggling with what used to be—and our desire to have things as they were before. That is gone.In this episode we discussed:The different ways that people are grieving right now, it's not just loss of a loved one.With the global pandemic, what other emotions are wearing us down in addition to grief?What can we do now to deal with grief about the current state of things?The main thing we do that saps our power and keeps us stuck.How and why Black people are operating at less than their full energy.How racial trauma shows up in our bodies and what to do about it.How to improve the results you get from meditation.How you build influence in your workplaceHow to tell if you are managing your racial trauma well or need to seek additional support.Get the show notes and additional resources at:https://allegrasinclair.com/trauma

Being an authentic woman means you know who you are and are confident letting the world see the real you. The word authentic means true, genuine, and real. Our social media-centric society focuses much more on appearance rather than reality. Just look at the glossy magazines with photoshopped images of supermodels or the picture-perfect Instagram feeds and you can see how easy it is to fall into the trap of becoming shallow, fake, and inauthentic.It takes courage to punch fear in the throat and live authentically.Today we look at 5 ways you can tell when you're being your authentic self.Get 3 free authenticity exercises at https://allegrasinclair.com/076

Do you know what it means to be authentic? Whenever we hear the word authentic, we automatically associate it with a physical object being genuine and of high value, such as an authentic Romare Bearden painting or a natural diamond. The opposite of authentic is inauthentic - not real, fake, phony, insincere.When we think about the concept of the authentic self, most women focus mainly on being truthful and honest. These are valuable attributes, but really living an authentic life involves a lot more than just telling the truth. So, the bad news is that being honest is not enough.Today we'll look at what it means to be authentic, why we slip into being fake, and how you can make adjustments to show up as your authentic self.Get 3 free authenticity exercises at https://allegrasinclair.com/075.

Wondering what the pressure is that you feel all the time? It's the pressure of living a lie. Here is a quick quiz that will let you know if you're living a lie. Just answer these questions honestly to get the answers you need.In this episode I ask 7 quick questions to help you determine if you're under pressure due to living a lie. Then I look at why you might be doing that and benefits you'll get from cutting that out. :)The weight of being a fake person can be overwhelming. Think about how much energy you would expend trying to be the perfect manager, wife, daughter, role model, super hero, sibling, etc. As the pressure builds from outside to conform, your own authentic self begins to feel trapped and miserable, like a caged tiger in the zoo pacing back and forth, plotting how to be free.If you have been living a lie in order to please others, you owe it to yourself to start taking action to live a more authentic life in which your true self can shine through.Get your free authenticity exercise at https://allegrasinclair.com/074 to figure out where you're living a lie so you can relieve the pressure and show up as yourself.

What if I told you there are 9 character traits that super motivated women possess? Because that is what I'm telling you. These traits help them stay motivated in order to accomplish what's important to them. If you are missing any of these traits, now is a great time to identify the gap and make a plan to close it.Motivated women have a purposeMotivated women are braveMotivated women take time to reflectMotivated women take time to celebrateLearn the rest of the character traits in this week's episode.You can get the free Take Back Your Work Week cheat sheet at https://allegrasinclair.com/073. Don't lose motivation in your career, take back control.Full show notes for this episode are available at https://allegrasinclair.com/073

We admire women that never seem to give up. But while we're admiring them it makes us a bit sad because we realize that we give up far too quickly. It’s not something we’re proud of, and we're haunted by the idea of how much more we could have accomplished with just a little more determination.Most women have no idea why they give up quickly, but this behavior is something you can definitely change. The first step is to gain some insight into why women give up before they succeed.In this episode I look at 1 big reason and 5 smaller reasons why women give up before they become successful. You can find your reason and create a plan to be successful in spite of it.Full show notes are available at https://allegrasinclair.com/072

If you harness the power of saying no you can avoid the problem of over-committing. That's when you make a commitment. Then you make another. Before you know it, you're making yet another commitment. It’s a never-ending cycle. You overcommit to your job, your friends, colleagues, social causes, family, etc. These commitments add hundreds of hours and stress to your already over-scheduled life.One of the most important things to remember is that time is finite. No matter how hard you try, you'll never have enough time to do everything. However, once you truly accept that you can't do it all, you can begin to prioritize your time. Doing this gives more opportunities to do the things that you really want to do, rather than the things that you feel you should do. Spending quality time with family and friends, achieving goals to improve your future, and just having time to yourself are prime examples.In this episode I look at:The benefits of saying noHow saying no helps you be more successfulWhy women don't say noHow saying no is easier when you're confidentHow to determine when you should say noHow to say at workWays to say no everywhereSaying no won't be easy at first. For some people, it may never be simple, but you have your own health and well-being to consider. The people who care about you will more than likely understand. When dealing with acquaintances, if they don't understand, it's probably better to limit your time with them, if possible.Remember, saying no does not make you a bad or selfish person. On the contrary, it generally makes you healthier and happier. More importantly, saying no doesn't mean you can't help those who you really want to help. After all, everyone needs help at one time or another. In the words of Tim Ferriss, "What you don't do determines what you can do." It's totally up to you!Resources Mentioned in this Episode:Podcast on setting healthy boundariesPunch Fear in the Throat MugShow notes are available at https://allegrasinclair.com/071

Chelsey Brooke stops by the podcast to tell us about the rise of the powerful introvert. Introverts are often misunderstood and mis-labeled by people who don't understand the personality type. Often people think introverted women are boring or stuck-up because of the way they show up in the world. Those people couldn't be more wrong! Powerful introverts are fabulous and this episode outlines how we can shine in the workplace and increase our confidence.Chelsey is so passionate about introverts because she is one! So her interest in increasing confidence as an introvert came out of her own difficulties. Introverts often feel awkward and out of place in social situations and have anxiety about small talk or being in large groups. And the advice to "get out of your shell, speak up and stop thinking so much" isn''t helpful and doesn’t work.In this episode we discussed:The strengths of being exactly who you are. Some people can go their whole lives without figuring that out.What's wrong with the dictionary definition of an introvert?The hurtful labels that people use to describe introverts.Was there an event that helped Chelsey figure out she was different and unique?The ingredients in a confidence milk shake.How to use introversion as an advantage not a weakness.How to be a powerful introvertShow notes can be found at https://allegrasinclair.com/070

Today we will look at 10 ways to stop your critics from stealing your dream. I never wanted to be a cop but I do love those shows. I’m fascinated by the techniques they use to prevent crimes. So I’m going to apply some of that investigative wisdom to protecting your dream.Have you ever gotten excited about doing something, only to be shot down by the people that you thought would support you? It happens all the time.Maybe you decided you wanted to train for a marathon, only for some super helpful person to reminded you that you’re not athletic and quit the last few things you tried. Or, maybe you wanted to start a business, only to be told that most businesses fail. Then you’re told that you shouldn’t bother, because you don’t have any business experience anyway. These old stories do not serve you.Life is full of critics. The more you try to accomplish, the more people you’ll have trying to stop you in one way or another.Try these ideas to Stop Your critics and live your best life:Understand the real reason for their criticism. When you try to be more than you are, it makes the people in your life uncomfortable. They’re used to you being a certain way. It also bothers them that you might become successful while they’re too afraid to change. No one wants to justify their own mediocrity.Avoid reacting. People are only rewarded for trying to hold you back if you quit or if you get upset. Stick to your plan and avoid responding in an emotional way. Just ignore them and keep on going.Consider keeping your big plans to yourself. While many success gurus recommend announcing your grand plans to the world as a means of holding yourself accountable, studies show that this hurts more people than it helps. When you let the world know what you want to accomplish, the critics crawl out of the woodwork.Avoid dwelling on the criticism. There’s no reason to sit around and stew over it. Let it go and put your attention on something that is either useful or enjoyable.Consider the source of criticism. If Stephen King has something to say about your horror novel, you’d be wise to listen. If your Uncle Joe, the plumber, is criticizing your plans for being an architect, why would you listen?Find the right people to “criticize” you. Find the right critics. These are often referred to as “mentors.” Find an expert that’s willing to take a look at what you’re doing and provide useful advice. The right mentor can save you a lot of time and speed up your success.Become even more focused. Use criticism as motivation to focus and work even harder. Show everyone what you can do. Have the last laugh.Find people who truly support you. Most people wish they had more friends. What people really need is just a couple of friends that truly want the best for you. Bette Midler won Emmys, Grammys, Golden Globes, and many other awards. She stated that the hardest part of winning any of her awards was finding someone that was truly happy for her.Cut the critics out of your life if you can. If you have things you want to accomplish, there’s no room for those who are trying to stop you. You might be hesitant to cut your critical mom out of your life, but there’s no reason to hold onto the negative friend that you’ve rarely seen since high school.Change the subject. Get your critic talking about themselves or something going on in their own life. They may soon forget about yours altogether.If you have big plans for your life, you’re going to have to deal with a lot of criticsRemember that most people choose comfort over growth, but they’re secretly frustrated with themselves because of it. Your choice to live a bigger life is an unpleasant reminder to your critics that they settled. Avoid allowing their issues to derail...

When most of you started your professional journeys you likely thought your most important responsibility was managing yourself and your work tasks. Over time, the most successful among you learned managing your manager had a much bigger impact on career success.Trying to talk to your boss can be intimidating, uncomfortable and awkward. But if you know the right way to approach your manager, you can not only survive the conversation, you can thrive in your workplace.Effective communication with your manager is critical for a number of reasons. If you want to ask for a raise or get support for a new project or initiative, communicating effectively increases your chances of success.How to have an effective conversation with your managerBe Respectful of Your Manager's TimeIf you don't know your boss' schedule, you risk approaching her when she's not receptive. There are times when she's more stressed and times when she's more relaxed, so focus on talking with her at her convenience. Pay attention to her signals and respect her time boundaries.Haven't you had this happen? You're racing out of your office, late for a meeting and somebody stops by to 'ask a quick question'. You explain tactfully that you don't have a minute, but they don't listen to you and keep pushing forward. How does that taste? You could care less what they're saying because you don't have time to listen. If they are asking a question, they are likely to get a no. Don't be that person.Be Prepared to Keep Emotions Under ControlDon't walk into an 'asking' conversation cold. An asking conversation is when you want something specific--a new position, additional staff, time off, etc. If you are emotional about your request, rehearse the conversation. Think about how your manager might respond and think through how those responses could make you feel.The key here is not to just walk through getting exactly what you want. What if your judgment is questioned? What if the answer is no? I am not telling you to plan to fail, I am asking you to be professional and consider all the possibilities. Thinking about the results that might make you emotional gives you a chance to experience those emotions in private BEFORE you talk to your manager. You are not a robot, emotions are part of life, but you can choose where to have an emotional response to the subject.Stay Abreast of Industry TrendsOne way to get your boss' attention is to know what's going on in your industry. Staying knowledgeable can help you get ahead and make your conversation with your boss more impressive. And, your boss is more likely to remember the conversation in a positive way.Ways to stay up-to-date with industry trends include:Reading industry trade magazinesTalking with others in the same professionAttending conferences and listening to speakersKeeping up with the newsDevelop Good Communication Before You 'Need' ItEverything about how you communicate with others illustrates who you are and your feelings about them and yourself. When it comes to managing your manager, your voice, speech, and word choice demonstrate how well you get along with others. Learn to take advantage of strong communication skills to demonstrate your competence and confidence.When communicating with your manager:Use the tone of your voice to show self-assurance. Maintaining a pleasant tone of voice, even in stressful situations, shows that you can handle pressure. A calm tone will make you appear much more confident.Choose your volume wisely. Projecting too loudly is never a good look at work. Sometimes we raise our voices if we're afraid we won't be...

Confident women should refuse to do certain things. Why? Because their strengths lie in focusing on the right things and ignoring the wrong ones.Confident women do and think certain things, but they also avoid thinking and doing certain things. If you want to have more confidence, consider avoiding these things, too. It’s easier to climb a mountain without carrying a rock. Drop the habits and other behaviors that burden your ability to feel confident.Without these obstacles getting in your way, you’ll create a new ceiling for your confidence. Make it as easy as possible to have confidence in yourself.​Refuse to do these confidence-killing ​things:​1 ​Engage in Negative Self-Talk​You can’t feel confident and say negative things to yourself. If you want to feel positive about yourself, it helps to have a positive inner dialogue. Negative thoughts drain away positive ​energy, including the positive feelings that come with confidence.​2 ​Complain​Complaining is insidious. It suggests that you can’t fix the challenges in your life. Instead of complaining, work on a solution. Know in your heart that you can handle any challenge in your life and then do it without taking it to death.​3 ​Let a Lack of Information ​Be a Show Stopper​People that lack confidence need 100% certainty. Those that are confident can take action with far less than complete information. 70% is usually enough to get started. Be confident and get busy.​4 ​Rely on Luck​Luck is for those without the confidence to take responsibility. Wish, hope, or pray all you like, but keep moving your feet. Confident people will take luck when they get it, but they don’t rely on it. They know they will succeed without it.​5 ​Focus on Other People​Be confident that you have a good plan and are capable of executing it. Let everyone wonder what you’re doing instead of worrying about what they’re doing. If you are focusing on others who is focusing on your dreams and goals?​6 ​Apologize for Taking up Space​Show up big, bold, colorful, confident, bad-a**, etc. Don't betray yourself by shrinking from your big moments. When you are feeling yourself, let it show. Let your walk, the way you stand, the seat you choose, etc. let the room know how you feel about yourself. Don't hunch, apologize, whisper or indicate that you don't want to make a fuss. SHOW UP.​7 ​Be Overly Self-Critical​​We are too good at criticizing ourselves. What if you remind yourself of your successes and keep self-criticism ​to a minimum? Be your own best friend and supporter.​8 ​Seek Undue Attention​Confident people don’t need a lot of attention from others. If you’re confident in yourself, you’ll be too busy taking care of your business to worry about whether or not others are paying attention. Only those lacking in confidence need attention and approval.​​9 ​Invest Good Time with ​Saboteurs​There will be people who want to sabotage you. Don't give them the time ​or the place to do it. ​Unfortunately, there are a lot people in your life who don’t want to see your success rise too far above their own. If you want to maximize your self-confidence, it’s best to avoid these people as much as possible. I said they were in your life, not your circle.​10 ​Make Excuses​​Excuses are a way for those without confidence to justify quitting. If you’re confident, you don’t look for excuses. You look for solutions and then implement them. If you catch yourself making excuses, ask yourself why you’re doing it.​​How confident are you? What would happen if you could become the most confident ​woman you know? The difference in your life would be staggering.Confident ​women avoid certain things. If you want to be confident, it makes sense to avoid those same things. The question to ask yourself is 'How confident do you

Let's talk about how you gave up on the dream career you want. Once you have given up, what are you supposed to do next? First, a little background.One of the most important things about hope is that it prevents you from giving up. You may be thinking, you haven’t given up on anything. Are you sure?I ended a recent podcast episode by saying one of the most important things about hope is that it prevents you from giving up. (If you need to learn the basics of the power of hope, be sure to go back and listen to Episode 062.) I also pointed out that some people may have given up even though they aren't aware of it.In this week's episode I'll help you figure out:The different forms of giving upIf you have given upWhat to do if you gave up but you're ready to try againGiving up can be disguised as:Making the best of the current situation instead of trying to make changes, i.e., telling yourself you really like staying where you are.Only showing up with 50% of yourself and 50%o f your potential, because that's good enough.Protecting yourself by expecting less out of life, acting as if you will feel less disappointment if you expect less from your life.Sabotaging yourself from doing bigger things i.e., missing the deadline to apply for a job or educationa; opportunity.Wallowing in self-doubt, playing the victim, so that giving up on your dream is not your fault.How to Move ForwardForget that you gave up on your dream career. Give yourself a little grace and forgive yourself for old decisions. When we know better, we do better.Invest 30-40 minutes in remembering what your dream was, adapting it to your current situation, and picking 2 action steps you can take to move toward the dream and giving yourself a deadline.You don't have to do this alone. If you have friends who are also living smaller than they are capable of, you could form a mastermind group or a sister circle and hold each other accountable for making changes. Today, not some day. Do I sound like this is urgent? Good, because it is.Show notes can be found at https://allegrasinclair.com/065

When things suck it's hard to feel gratitude but I have 7 ways to feel gratitude that will help you get through it.Gratitude is one of the most powerful emotions that you can experience. It connects you to what is really important in your life. It reminds you that as long as you’re breathing, everything is going to be okay. And it helps frame your day, your expectations, and your actions.Embracing gratitude can be as simple as saying thank you.Life is unpredictable and occasionally things suck. Each day we're faced with situations that test our ability to behave with grace and deal with difficulties. It's easy to get angry, scared, or resentful and forget to be grateful for the good things in our lives.Question: If we don't cherish and feel grateful for the good things we already have, how can we justify wanting more?In this episode I look at 7 ways to feel gratitude:Do something kind for someone else every daySay thank you for little thingsEstablish a no-complaining zoneRe-frame your negative thoughtsKeep a gratitude journalDonate your time or money or thingsCreate a '100 Things to Be Grateful For' listEveryone struggles, gets stuck, and experiences difficulty. Next time you find yourself having a tough time, remember that crisis is also a wonderful growth opportunity. Embrace the challenge, enrich it with gratitude, and you’ll experience genuine growth.Show notes available at https://allegrasinclair.com/064

How can you tell if you really like yourself? It's probably something you don't think about because you just assume that you do. But, according to an American sociologist, at any given moment, 80% of the world doesn't like themselves. I'm a little scared of the answer, but I need somebody to do research on what the number would be for women. Do you think it's higher or lower?This morning I found myself thinking, 'I really like myself'. That's not the first time I've had that thought, or even my most enthusiastic episode of self approval. It struck me today because I realized that I've spent a couple of days NOT liking myself.Spending time not liking myself sneaks up on me, just like I know it sneaks up on you.I read an article that outlined 15 ways that people show they don't like themselves but I disagreed with some of their ideas, so here is my list.HOW CAN YOU TELL IF YOU DON’T LIKE YOURSELF?Things that used to delight you, don’t make you as happy. And you start to talk smack to yourself for ever having enjoyed them.Your self care starts to slip, specifically what you eat and how much you sleep.You respond to things differently, often in a negative way. Being reactive and defensive are not a good look.You try to ignore your self talk but in truth you are only ignoring the POSITIVE self talk because it doesn’t match the negative conversation that’s going on in your head.Get the full show notes at https://allegrasinclair.com/063Need some help liking yourself? There is no need to suffer alone. Schedule a Discovery Call and learn how to reject negative thoughts about yourself and start liking yourself again.Have a friend who needs to hear this? Tell them how to listen to this podcast.

In this week's episode of the podcast I am going to take a look at what hope is and why you should care.I got a question on Twitter the other day that I decided to answer here on the podcast in addition to responding directly. The question was, "With all the stuff that’s going on how do you stay hopeful about everything? It feels trivial to be concerned with my stuff when there’s so much happening in the world."Short answer: I see you and I hear you. The weight of all the mayhem in the world gives me pause, too. However, I actively choose to focus on the things that I can control. That’s not always easy, but it is always necessary.The weight of all the mayhem in the world gives me pause, too. However, I actively choose to focus on the things that I can control. That’s not always easy, but it is always necessary. If there is something I can do, I need to be brave enough to do it. If not, I need to flourish in my spot so that my influence grows. If I want to be able to tackle bigger problems, I have to build a bigger platform. At this point in my life, The only thing I fear is not doing what I’m on this earth to do. That’s it. This episode includes:* What Hope Is* Why Haters Attack Hope* Why You Should Care About Hope* How Hope and Confidence are ConnectedShow notes are available at: https://allegrasinclair.com/062

I know you want to take control of your career and remove fear. With all the rapid changes in the workplace it's natural to experience some fear. Will the company stay profitable? Will you be able to continue to progress and move up the organization? Are you going to be replaced by a robot? We delve into these questions and more in today's episode of the podcast.Many of my coaching clients are accomplished, mid-career women who:Are worried that the changing workplace seems to be leaving them behindWant to turn their career upside down and do something different but they aren't sure what they want to doToday's guest, Nicolle Merrill has a delicious blend of skills that helps both groups.IN THIS EPISODE WE DISCUSSED:How to take control of your careerHow the world of work is changing and whyThe changing world of work does not mean you have no valueWhether robots are taking all our jobsWhy we shame people for not moving up the corporate ladderHow we're missing opportunities to up-skillThe skills we should focus on to remain relevant in the workplaceHow you build influence in your workplaceGet the show notes and resources at allegrasinclair.com/061

If you change the content you see, your life will improve. You may not realize it, but you are ‘bathed’ in content every day. And the content you see affects you in many ways. If you expose yourself to a lot of negative content, you will experience anxiety and self-doubt frequently.In fact, absorb enough negative content and you will start having epic levels of self doubt. But, if you bathe yourself in positive content, your life will improve.For the purpose of this discussion, anything that is not positive, is negative.When you expose yourself to negative messages often, you train your brain to think negatively about everything. You will begin to fret about things that will probably never happen. This leads to worries about your health, your relationships, your finances, etc.Excessive worrying can even lead to feelings of high anxiety and make you feel physically ill, according to WebMD. Once this has been going on awhile, you are rewarded with a testy attitude and constant negative thoughts.This is important to tackle because chronic negativity can really harm you. (OK, the article says it can kill you, but I wanted to be a little more positive.)If you've been around here for a while you know I don’t point out problems and then leave you hanging without a solution. You can combat the effects of all this negative content by exposing yourself to positive content throughout your day.Show notes available at https://allegrasinclair.com/060

I thought LinkedIn was a place to post your resume if you were actively looking for a job. And that's all I did, check in every 4 years or so and make a half-hearted attempt at keeping my resume updated. Usually I would hop on there when I started getting a bunch of email notifications that people were congratulating me on a work anniversary for a company I'd left several years before. I’m comfortable not knowing everything and I love finding people who I can tap into for specific expertise. And today's guest is a LinkedIn rockstar. Donna Serdula started on LinkedIn back in 2005, so she is the perfect person to bring all the LinkedIn knowledge.In this episode we discussed:The one thing you SHOULD NOT do on LinkedIn. Why people love LinkedInIf LinkedIn isn't about job search what IS it about?The top 3 specific reasons that professional women need to be on LinkedInHow LinkedIn has changed over timeWhat you should do if your struggle to get started with LinkedInThe new way people are using LinkedIN more and moreHow to request recommendations on the platformThings you can do on LinkedIn weekly that will have impact without making your lose your mindShownotes available at https://allegrasinclair.com/059

What if the things you have always believed aren't true? What if it's within your power to do and believe new things? This is your introduction to the startling power of 'what if'.I know how strongly we hold our beliefs. I’m not necessarily talking about limiting beliefs, I’m speaking in more broad terms. We are a nation that questions a lot of things but what we believe, we REALLY believe. And to our credit, it's hard for us to shake off things that we believe in strongly.There are certain things that I believe that you can’t shake me from. Period. Ever. For example, I believe that all people are created equal, and I believe that education is magical.However, what if your strong beliefs aren’t positive? I’ve been hearing from a lot of my coaching clients about their beliefs and many of these beliefs are unshakeable. The challenge comes when the belief is something that makes them feel bad. Or something that holds them back when they are ready to move forward.A few of the more negative beliefs sound like this:* I could never do that* I just can't get over this* I should just be content with my life is and stop dreaming of bigger and better thingsDo any if these beliefs sound familiar? Just for today, let's dream. What if you were able to believe something different? How different would you be as a result of the new belief? Would you like yourself better? Would you be able to help more people and increase your impact and influence on the world around you?I don’t know what belief is currently weighing you down, but in this 'what if ' game, let's look at 2 new beliefs you can try on for size.Show notes available at: https://allegrasinclair.com/058

Many women struggle with what other people think of us. That mis-placed focus is very common even though you know how dangerous it can be to base your self-esteem on the way someone else chooses to treat you.However, the danger is magnified when abuse comes from the closest possible person--yourself! You need to know how to get out an abusive relationship with yourself.This is definitely a Big Girl Panties episode as we take a deep look at whether we've created an abusive relationship that we need to address.Show notes available at allegrasinclair.com/057

In the last episode of the podcast, I talked about how to increase your self awareness. In this episode, Tai Goodwin visits with me to continue that discussion, but from a slightly different perspective. Tai teaches us how to live a life aligned with who we really are. Tai's business focuses on entrepreneurs who are building businesses, but the importance and benefit of being self aware is relevant for all of us.Being willing to take the steps to move into what you want has been a theme on the podcast, and today we talked a lot about self awareness and being willing to pivot or make change.I asked Tai if she only had 5 minutes, what she would want my audience to know and she answered: I am all about helping women make their business bankable. I want them to be seen and heard, without feeling like they have to become somebody else to do it. And I want them to make as much money as they want.Tai says you're bankable if you love the work you're doing, you love the clients you're getting, you're completely joyous about the money you get paid Topics discussed:* The authority renaissance going on in business building* How the 'wizard' behind the screen is messing with a lot of people* The dangers of being transparent* Tai's pet peeve about email lists* Why we tend to focus on tasks instead of principles* How to tell if you're BankableWhether you can get burnt out doing something you loveWho is Tai Goodwin?Tai Goodwin is on a mission to help 10,000 entrepreneurs create more joy and wealth in their lives and businesses. She's the CEO of Aligned + Bankable and creator of the Growth Alignment Index(TM). An intuitive business growth strategist and teacher, she works with empathic, introverted, and highly-sensitive entrepreneurs, showing them how to build a profitable business that's in 100% alignment with who they are.Show notes are available at: https://allegrasinclair.com/056

Why do you live where you live? Why do you love or hate the job you have? What motivates you to get up in the morning? What has led you to this point in your life?These are all questions that many women can't answer. They don't have the self-awareness to know who they are. They don't know why they've made the choices they've made or why they struggle with certain things. In fact, many people who lack self-awareness find that they aren't happy but they don't know why. It's this generalized anxiety or discomfort that they cannot name.If we find ourselves in this situation, sometimes we blame others or we blame circumstances. The truth is, that we probably do have some degree of self-awareness and like many skills, it's one that we can improve. In this episoe we'll look at how when you improve your self-awareness, great things can happen for you! Show notes can be found here: https://allegrasinclair.com/055P.S. Thanks for the 5-Star Ratings! I really appreciate you.

Are you ready to stop making excuses? Many of us had big dreams early in life. I think young women are the best dreamers in the world! When we're young it's a time of limitless dreams and possibilities. Want to be a firefighter and a ballerina? Done. Want to be a mermaid who flies through the water? No problem. Whether our dreams were big or small, as life started to happen, we put some of our dreams on a shelf. Your dreams are still living somewhere in your mind but you don't think about them and you definitely aren't doing anything to make them a reality. You haven't given up on them entirely, but you put them away to protect your heart. In this episode we look at our excuses and how to overcome them to make our dreams come true.Show notes are available at allegrasinclair.com/054

You can probably think of lots of reasons why your career may be stuck, or not moving as quickly as you'd like. The need to overcome limiting beliefs to grow your career probably isn't one of them. Here are 4 steps to overcome limiting beliefs and grow your career:* Gently Examine Your Limiting Beliefs* Reframe Your Limiting Beliefs* Challenge Your Limiting Thoughts* Start Keeping a JournalShownotes can be found at allegrasinclair.com/053

Believe it or not, how you feel about your body is an important ingredient in being confident. How confident can you feel if you're walking around in a body you hate? Or if you don't hate it, you spend a lot of time 'talking smack' about it. That works against your natural confidence. Are you wondering how to love your body? The first step is to accept your body right now. In this episode we discuss what can you do to accept your body just the way it is.Show notes available at: allegrasinclair.com/052

Breakthroughs are one of the joys I find in working with my coaching clients. They will tell me things that they've been working on, or new skills they have been trying out at work and how it worked really well for them.When they tell me their good results, they kind of gloss over them and race past the breakthroughs that make me want to jump up and down and cheer. Often my clients miss the smaller moments of how their lives are changing and how they're improving. And I delight in slowing them down and pointing out the victories.This episode is to invite you to have that kind of joyful jolt of electricity that i got when I took the time to evaluate the changes I was experiencing. When I slowed down and paid attention to myself with a different perspective I saw new things.Show notes are available at: allegrasinclair.com/051

I can't wait for you to get into how yoga can lead to radical self care. Today's guest is fiyah! When Rev. Shelley visited her first yoga studio, she crawled away. While she had been interested in yoga for a long time, the reality of being ‘othered’ in her first attempt to learn yoga stopped her in her tracks. Her perception of a yoga afficionado didn’t look like herself and this was borne out by the behavior of the people at the first studio she visited. Being ignored by the majority is common for people of color, but being ignored based on her size was something very different.Rev. Dr. Shelley Best is now a master practitioner in the art of of radical self care. She pursued a passion for yoga after reaching the age of 50 and is all about personal and community transformation. Her mission is to serve others by example. Listen to find out how she finds the courage to live confidently in the face of resistance.Show notes are available at allegrasinclair.com/050

I am going to give you the best morning routine to avoid feeling like a victim. Lately I’ve been hearing from a number of clients, friends, family who are feeling like victims. They feel helpless in the face of what’s going on in the world, difficult relationships with friends and family, dissatisfaction with their jobs, and more. Why?Because they feel like all day long all they do is deal with the crap that’s getting thrown at them. And by the end of the day they feel beaten down and frustrated. In this episode you'll hear my magic recommendations.* Magic Bullet #1: Every day I wake up and make a decision that I am going to be ok that day.* Magic Bullet #2: Every morning I lower my expectations of others.* Magic Bullet 3: Each day release yourself from responsibility for others.Show notes can be found at https://allegrasinclair.com/49

So many women are stuck because they are asking permission to live fully. Is it ok if I shine? If I speak in a meeting? If I leave this bad relationship? We have this yearning for someone to tell us that we’re ok.IN TODAY’S SHOW WE DISCUSSED:What a classic good girl is and what her life looks like.The danger in following the rules and following a path that’s not really your own.What happens when you don’t have focus.Why she thought a referral to a life coach meant she was a hot mess.If you find you’re disconnected from who you are, how do you re-connect?How can you tell if your life is broken?How you know where to set boundaries.Show Notes: https://allegrasinclair.com/048

Most children know how to punch fear in the throat. When we're 5, we handle fear like a ninja. As we get older, we forget these skills and start letting fear push us around. Today we're going to look at 10 lessons from a five-year-old so that you can punch fear in the throat now."Real self-confidence is not a lack of fear. It's acknowledging the fear and trusting yourself anyway. "Here are the 10 lessons I discussed in this episode:Stop Saying Yes When...Be FearlessAsk for HelpBelieve You Can Be...StretchNo Means...Keep Breathing Life Into Your DreamsForget Past MistakesBe Mad Today, Get Over it TomorrowStick Up For YourselfShow notes are available at allegrasinclair.com/047

Lee McDonough stops by the podcast to drop some major clarity insights and heaps of encouragement. Her coaching philosophy fuses the principles of Acceptance & Commitment Therapy, Energy Leadership, and mindfulness in order to help her clients excel at their work, feel in control of their careers, and transform their lives.In this episode we talked about the challenges people have gaining clarity and then being brave enough to take the steps and move into what they see. Gaining clarity is one thing but if you don’t do anything as as a result, it's kind of like putting all the ingredients in a cake pan but never putting the pan in the oven. We also dove into how treating ourselves the way we treat others can be magic.What does clarity do for people? Clarity influences what we do and how we show up in the world. Lee believes that without clarity we feel directionless, untethered, and unmoored. It's important to know just the WHO you are, but WHY you are on the earth.Show notes are available at allegrasinclair.com/046

Self care is powerful for every woman because it’s one of the most overlooked means of changing our lives. It's also one of the most effective tools you can use to improve the lives of the people you love. No, I’m not sleepy, I said self care is something you do for people you love. Sounds backwards, I know.This conversation about self care begins with the idea that putting yourself last is not noble.THIS EPISODE COVERS:Why we neglect ourselvesThe best way to take care of othersThe definition of self careThe dangers of ignoring self careThe benefits of self careWhy self care is powerful for womenThe top 3 negative situations that self care preventsShow notes are available at allegrasinclair.com/045

So many people (especially celebrities) seem to be working with a life coach, but they don't usually tell you why they made that decision. Don't you wish they would? You probably need more information to decide if working with a coach is something you want to do for yourself. In this episode I'll provide more information.Life coaching is a relatively new career. Because it's so new, it can be confusing to figure out what a life coach really is and whether or not one would help you.Here's a quick definition: A life coach helps you create a life that fulfills you. A life coach helps you bring the most powerful version of yourself to life.Many people have reported the positive results they have achieved after working with a coach. They increased clarity, positive energy, and leaderships skills. Your results will be based on what you want to improve in your life.Show notes available at allegrasinclair.com/044

This episode is a wild ride that you will probably want to take twice. We start our conversation with the one thing Kim Coles would like to pour into women’s heads.In this episode we examine:* Permission to live out loud* Permission to live a good life* Permission for radical self care* Permission to be the best you everAnd perhaps most importantly, it's permission to be who you are. So many women are stuck because they are asking permission to live fully. Is it ok if I shine? If I speak in a meeting? If I leave this bad relationship? We have this yearning for someone to tell us it’s ok. It's ok.Other topics include:When neglecting ourselves became a badge of honorWhat self care meansThe surprising reasons we're afraid of self careThe obvious AND hidden benefits of taking care of yourselfThe stunning moment when Kim found herself broke and broken. And how she got over it.Kim's favorite self-care exerciseAnd don't blink. Kim even flipped the script and started coaching me! And I loved it.Show notes available at https://allegrasinclair.com/043

It's a lot easier to say I can't, than it is to say, I'm scared. But that's precisely what we are really saying when we hide from success and ignore new opportunities. The goal of today's show is to provide understanding of how 'I Can't' damages you.If you fall victim to a negative 'I Can't' attitude, it can poison nearly every aspect of your life. It can affect your business plans, career goals, and even personal relationships. Oh, the horror! In today's show, I take aim at 'I Can't' and provide 4 steps for putting that attitude in its place.Full show notes are available at allegrasinclair.com/042

When you think about improving your self-esteem, it's natural that you would look inward for areas to improve. But, instead of looking inside for all the reasons you're not more confident or successful, today let's look at your environment. Changing your environment can boost your self-esteem.Low self-esteem and a lack of confidence can be caused by a number of things. While it’s true that there are internal things that cause low self-esteem, there are external factors that also contribute to low self-esteem.Take a few moments and think about these environmental factors that can affect self-esteem.Show notes are available at allegrasinclair.com/041

A lot of people talk about reframing situations, but not a lot of people know how to do it. Today we will look at 7 situations and explore how to reframe negative situations.I have been blogging lately about self talk, to be clear, I am talking about the inner sound track of your mind. Unfortunately, a majority of people have a negative sound track that plays over and over in their head. That means, your inner critic (I call mine Wilhemina, or Willie) has easy access to you and always seems to get your attention and make you doubt yourself. Your inner critic knows all your secrets and she knows the best buttons to push to prevent you from being powerful. She is a liar, but she can be persuasive.Most of the things that I hear from my negative self talk I would never dream of saying to anyone else. And I certainly wouldn't allow anybody else to talk to me that way! And yet Wilhemina persists.There are seven situations inside, that we can break down to reframe negative situations to use positive self talk. Our goal is to have Wilhemina shut up, and we want to replace that negative talk with powerful talk.Show notes are available at allegrasinclair.com/040

So many of us think that success is hard and failing is easy. Wrong! It’s a lot harder to be unsuccessful. Why? Because getting stuck and STAYING stuck requires you to adopt behaviors (turn them into habits) that take a lot of work to create and maintain. Today, let's take a look at the top 3 reasons why women get stuck.Show notes are available at allegrasinclair.com/039

Today is one of those days in which a gigantic lesson revealed itself when I was least expecting it. It's funny how often that happens. In the midst of a tough day, full of grief and disappointment, I had a relevation that I just had to share.In This Episode...Back from a hiatus, this first episode of the new season of the Your Confident Self Podcast is small but mighty. Just like the gigantic lesson inside!I wasn't expecting to find anything deep on this day and I definitely wasn't expecting too much from a trip to the grocery store. I shop all the time when I'm doing a Whole30 because fresh, whole foods need to be purchased when they are 'fresh'. But my day took a weird turn that filled me with unexpected gifts.Have you ever been in a similar situation? If so, what did you do with the energy created?Show notes available at allegrasinclair.com/038

In this episode you'll discover:How an unsexy profession led me to helping others see the fabulous within themselvesHow you know when it's time to make some sort of leap/change and what boredom has to do with itWhy I am so afraid of being boredSteps you can take to stop being comfortable and why you want to do thatHow to exercise your courage muscle to get past fearThe ways you can steal the power away from fearThe unique power that entrepreneurs possessWhat do you do if you hate marketingWhy strong women who 'Go Big or Stay Home' choose to stay homeThe one instance in which encouragement can be a bad thingThe complete transcript is on the way, but until then here are some quick action steps from this episode.Steps to deal with paralyzing fear:Recognize that fear is a signal of something else, it's not the real issue.Peel the onion, why are you really afraid?Expose fear to light so it will become powerless.Your fear may never happen.If you plan for the thing you fear, it's a much smaller deal if it happens.You can handle what you fear because you have evidence that you have handled things before.Show notes are available at https://allegrasinclair.com/037

How any sleep mistakes are there?! Today I'm chatting with a delightful woman who works predominantly offline but is building a fabulous online presence as well. Dr. Tracey Marks shares the biggest sleep mistakes you are making that you could easily avoid. Dr. Marks is a psychiatrist and focuses on working women who are too tired, busy, stressed out, etc. Those women who are Beyond Burnout. She helps women devise strategies to recover from “burnout” and live healthier lives for themselves and their families.IS LACK OF SLEEP REALLY A BIG DEAL?Is lack of sleep really such a big deal? Many people believe they need to shave off sleep to get more done throughout the day, but your body will tell you when you haven’t had enough sleep! It starts subtly like little whispers, but eventually those little whispers will become big shouts and then the real problems start.Did you know that chronic sleep deprivation can cause depression? Or did you know that you actually gain weight when you don't get enough sleep? Shut the front door! The list of things that happen to our bodies due to lack of sleep goes on and on.People are talking about lack of sleep more now than ever, but the conversation is only beginning. It’s an exercise in futility to continue making the biggest sleep mistakes and neglecting sleep while still trying to get more and more done.Running on only 4 hours of sleep isn’t a badge of honor! The average adult should be getting 7-9 hours of sleep every night, but that’s often difficult for most people because there’s always so much “stuff” that needs to get done.Show notes are available at allegrasinclair.com/036

The holidays can be lonely for a lot of people. There, I said it. Now we can stop pretending that everybody MUST have the same holiday experience. That's a holiday lie. A holiday truth is that you can have the holiday you want, IF you're willing to show love . What do I mean? Let me tell you a story. This is the Fable of the Christmas Songbird or how showing love can transform you.WHY ARE THE HOLIDAYS LONELY FOR SOME?Some people are lonely because they're single.Some people are lonely because they wish they were single.Some people are lonely because they feel they don't have anywhere to go.Some people are lonely because they need some time at home, to think and plan for a better new year.And some people are lonely because they have fallen for the hype of the fake lives being lived on Instagram and Facebook.No matter the reason, the root of loneliness is a focus on self. Thinking back on Soraya the Songbird, please know that I am not minimizing anybody's experience. However, I believe that you can stop being lonely and have the love and the holiday you want, if you are willing to give love where it’s needed.WHAT THE SONGBIRD TEACHES US:Focus on the impact of your love, not on the target.Expand your definition of familyFocus on what opportunities you have, not those you don'tDelight in the changes/impact sharing your love has on YOUShow notes are available at allegrasinclair.com/035

Have you ever wondered how some women make all the right connections? Have you ever wanted to get better at making connections with people and stop simply exchanging business cards that you lose or forget about while they gather dust in the drawer? I’m talking about meaningful connections! It’s so critical to make the right connections when building your business. Today, my fabulous guest, Dr. Sandi Eveleth, shares precisely how she does that, and how you can do it, tooShow notes are available at allegrasinclair.com/034

There is Knowing. And then there is Doing. Why do those two things have to be so far apart?! I don’t know the answer to that, but I do know that you can have all the knowledge in the world but the person with limited knowledge who actually DOES stuff will beat you every single time. The doer will accomplish more. She will fail more. She will prosper. She will have more fun. She will earn more money! The Doer punches fear in the throat and wins by using what she knows. Knowing is good, but doing is always better.Show notes are available at allegrasinclair.com/033

Holding onto past mistakes makes you fat. Huh? I'm always looking for a new reason why I'm 'fluffy', so if you're like me the opening of this podcast just made your day. Hang on, and grab your big girl panties, because I'm probably not headed where you think."I believe that anything that makes you feel shame, or lowers your self esteem makes you fat. How? Because it weighs you down. #allegraism"I believe that anything that makes you feel shame, or lowers your self esteem makes you fat. How? Because it weighs you down. When you think heavy thoughts, your body responds by holding onto extra calories and you get fat. Sometimes our fat isn't the physical fat we can see. Sometimes our fat is the more insidious fat that hides inside our minds. In this episode we look at how the mind fat can be worse than physical fat because that is harder to detect and get rid of. Now before you jump on me, I know losing physical fat isn't easy, let's take a deep breath.Show notes are available at allegrasinclair.com/032

Many of us have yearnings to be more than normal, to live big and have a big impact. However, there are so few of us who are willing to take action on our stories. At some point if you want to make a bigger impact on the world based on who you are and what you have to contribute, you can no longer accept just being 'normal'. You can't be happy inside the box. At some point you must decide to quite fighting with who you really are and grab onto audacity and run with it.What is Audacity Camp?In today's podcast, you will be excited and challenged to have a bigger impact while learning:* A new definition of audacity* Why audacious people are also inhabitants of the island of misfit toys* How you can make an impact on the world, big or small.* The unlikely incident that woke up Coach Jennie's audacity and how you can wake yours too* How incomplete personal development can leave you in worse shape than before* What one concept you need to embrace for success* The difference between a conference and an un-conferenceShow notes are available https://allegrasinclair.com/031

Nicole Dean's theory is that we have 3 areas of our lives and if we get out of balance and don't take care of all three of them, we will have issues and become a martyr, a missionary, or meaningless. My guest on this podcast, Nicole Dean, is launching the Awesomization Nation Movement so that amazing business people can share more of their awesome selves by focusing on daily actions for all 3 areas. And then acting on their promptings to be even more awesome. I have had a crush on Kid President for a while because of his sassy messages about being awesome, but this is even better.An unbalanced life looks different depending on which area you're neglecting. For instance, If you focus only on your life and business, you will feel meaningless because that inward focus doesn't serve anyone else. If you focus only on your life and the world, you'll be a missionary because you won't be making any money. (Boo!) And finally, if you focus only on your business and the world and neglect yourself, you become a martyr and your health, sanity, and peace are in jeopardy. Does any of this ring a bell? I have to ask because I can't see you nodding your head.In today's podcast, you will learn how to put all 3 pieces together so that more awesome can happen including:What compelled Nicole to encourage us to be awesome right nowWhat awesome people do that's different from othersWhat prevents us from accomplishing our goalsSpecial challenges that women have with showing their awesomeThe darker side of awesome and how to deal with itEffective tools for managing overwhelmShow notes are available at allegrasinclair.com/030

Your story can change people's lives, but you have to tell it. It's not easy to write a book, I imagine it's similar to being pregnant. Both endeavors take time, you agonize over doing things the right way, and the final result is painful before there is joy. But writing a book, or telling your story can also result in something that feels so personal that you don't feel right about selling it. Listen in as Allegra and Kim explore:Why women are hesitant to make a living off of our giftsWhat to do if you're stuck in place being resistant to charging your true valueWhy you have to practice to be a really good marketerThe value of stretching yourself until you're a little bit scaredHow to tap into being powerful without being scary or intimidatingThe gifts that come to women as they ageShow notes are available at allegrasinclair.com/029

In this episode of the podcast, Kim Doyal and I discuss:How you can get confident enough to start being your authentic selfWhat will happen when you really show upHow she called me on my stuff, so that I would show up moreHow to begin to show upWhy podcasting is so powerful, the beauty of audioWhy women need to stop apologizing for running a business and earning moneyIf you can be too specific in trying to target an audienceShow notes are available at allegrasinclair.com/028

Please don't let fear keep you from success. Today we will look at Francis the Fearful Frog. Her story is a cautionary tale about letting fear keep you from being successful. On the podcast we’ve talked quite a bit about fear. We've talked about punching it in the throat, different ways of conquering fear, and overcoming fear of failure, etc. But today, let's look at fear from the standpoint of what the world is missing if you don't address your fears. (gulp)Show notes are available at allegrasinclair.com/027

I was going to title this podcast, why your goal should be fiery panties, but I changed it to encourage you to fly your freak flag proudly. What does acknowledging your freak status give you? Freedom! Love! Joy! Lower blood pressure. And those are just for starters.I have been working really hard behind the scenes on two projects, 1) re-shaping my business and podcast to better reflect my strengths and make sure I am pouring myself into the right people and 2) helping other powerful women tell their stories through their own platforms and podcasts. These are both awesome projects I have a ton of energy and passion for and I’m having a ball. I especially love that I am taking a hard look at what I’m offering in my business. It keeps my analytical skills sharp and helps me make sure that I haven’t gotten lost in the hustle and bustle of every day life.Show notes are available at allegrasinclair.com/026

IN TODAY'S PODCAST YOU WILL LEARN:Listen to find out what Captain Jean-Luc Picard from Star Trek the Next Generation has to do with setting personal boundaries. You can establish healthy personal boundaries with these tips:Communicate openly about what your boundaries areValue yourselfDefine yourselfPlace a higher priority on yourselfIdentify where you need to tweak your boundariesMake your boundaries firm, reasonable and clear.Be flexible.Learn to love saying noHaving boundaries is an exercise in caring for and respecting yourself. You have the right to expect a certain level of respect and consideration from others.Show notes are available at allegrasinclair.com/025

Many of us search high and low for happiness and success. Today's guest believes that clarity is the secret ingredient for career success and she makes a compelling case. In this episode of podcast I welcome Tamala Huntley from TamalaHuntley.com.Tamala is a powerful and energetic entrepreneur whose viewpoint on simplicity, focus and clarity are so good you will want to eat her words. She creates WordPress websites and helps life and wellness professionals with the techie stuff. I'm delighted that she took time out of her busy schedule and planned move out of the country(!) to visit with me.Grab a mug of your favorite beverage and listen in while she shares some great 'Tamalisms' that you can apply to your life today.Tamala's commitment to living a simple, peaceful, happy life centered on accepting who she is and what she really wants, is changing her life and the lives of those around her. She surrounds herself with the right people who encourage and lift her higher. She is becoming an expert at building on past successes to power her past fear and obstacles in her new adventures.While she still has fears, she welcomes the opportunity to keep punching them in the throat while she applies her systems to getting work done in a way that doesn't make it 'a job'.Her upcoming move has been four years in the making and is a great demonstration of breaking a huge goal into bite-sized chunks and celebrating the mini victories along the way. This process helps her view any temporary sacrifices as no big deal, as she reorders her life and priorities for deeper success.IN TODAY'S PODCAST YOU WILL LEARN:How to recognize and remove upper limitsHow clarity is super powerful and builds on itselfWhy sharing big goals is critical for accountability and momentumWhy it's important to share your browniesShow notes are available at allegrasinclair.com/024

Stop trying to be perfect so you can build your perfectly imperfect life. I am not advocating that we aim to be mediocre (you know me better than that), but I want us to stop setting ourselves up for failure.Aiming for perfection can lead you to succeed in your life and work. But, nothing will break your confidence down like unrealistic expectations and undue pressure from a quest to be perfect. It's exhausting and can become a huge burden. And deep down, you probably know that your expectations of yourself and others are a little out of control.It's better to build something imperfect than wait to build something perfect. Get it built! Then tweak it.HOW TO BREAK FREE FROM PERFECTIONISM:If your perfectionism is interfering with your ability to form and maintain relationships, get satisfaction from your work, increase your confidence, etc., here are some strategies to break free:Breaking your big stuff down into small, do-able steps and focus on each oneGive yourself a breakView the world in colors and levelsLean on humorShow notes are available at allegrasinclair.com/023

In a previous post, I shared how failure can lead to some of the biggest successes, but what if you never try? If you don't try, your chances of success are 0%. We can find numerous stories of people throughout history who have failed but refused to give up. I can only imagine how many people told them they would never succeed, repeatedly pointed out their previous failed efforts, and even characterized their attempts as pathetic. As many successful stories as we can find that started with failures, I bet there are many more people who let the doubts of others and their own fears prevent them from trying at all. Don't be one of those people!Show notes are available at allegrasinclair.com/022

How can we overcome low self esteem? There are lots of different reasons why our self esteem may suffer. But if we don't address these issues, low self esteem can damage your confidence and lead to larger issues like anxiety, social withdrawal, depression, and even suicide. Self esteem is rooted in how you feel about yourself compared to confidence which is rooted in what you believe you can accomplish, based on your past results.There are steps you can take to overcome low self esteem and make sure that you do not internalize issues that are really external to you. You are not the sum of your circumstances and are in control of how you view these events.THE STEPS FOR OVERCOMING LOW SELF ESTEEM ARE:Surrounding yourself with positive peopleFocusing on the future, not the pastSetting reasonable expectationsRecognizing your accomplishmentsWorking toward a greater goodMaking a cheat sheet of your best qualitiesGetting appropriate supportShow notes are available at allegrasinclair.com/021

What is the price of not being authentic? Have there been times in your life when you felt you weren't acting like your true self? Maybe you were unsure of a new situation or you lacked the confidence to reveal who you truly are. When I challenged a friend about whether or not she was behaving in a way that was consistent with her brand, I had some interesting insights.THE PRICE OF NOT BEING AUTHENTICI think there is a cost to pay for hiding who you are, and it is a very real cost. Hiding who we are, puts in an emotionally unhealthy cycle. In addition, behaving in a way that is not authentic can make you question who you are. Insidious, isn't it?TODAY'S PODCAST INCLUDES:Monitoring your feelingsGiving yourself space and timeCalling yourself on faking itPaying attention to what triggers the inauthentic behaviorBeing brave enough to be who you areTrusting that the right people appreciate YOUShow notes are available at allegrasinclair.com/020

Today on the podcast, I offer 7 benefits of spending time alone. Sometimes we get too caught up in being lonely and choose to spend time with the wrong people. A couple weeks ago I published an affirmation about avoiding toxic people so that you can feel less lonely.I also did an interview on Empower Radio recently about why people don't remove themselves from toxic relationships. Both of these posts inspired some questions and feedback from listeners because they understood that they should remove toxic people, but they didn't want to be lonely. They asked me why being alone would be better than spending time with these people.Show notes are available at allegrasinclair.com/019

Let's take a look at how to be more confident at work this week. Feeling confident and demonstrating confidence are two different things. You want to make sure that you are showing the world how confident you are, because confidence is an important element in being seen as successful by your peers. Sometimes we do a great job of showing our confidence everywhere except in our workplace.In this episode we discussed:How your voice influences whether or not you are seen as confidentThe importance of word choiceThe specific language you should avoidWhat to do when your emotions get the best of youSecrets to using your volume to communicate effectivelyShow notes are available at allegrasinclair.com/018

As a quick recap, here are the first 5 reasons you aren't where you want to be that I talked about in last week's show:You don't know what you wantYou don't have a plan to get from here to thereYou lack resourcesThe people around you don't support youYou don't really know what you wantWe have just a little bit further to go to figure out why you still aren't where you want to be yet.In this episode, we look at the final 5 reasons you still aren't where you want to be:You lack skillsYou lack staminaYou're afraid of failureYou're afraid of successYou don't think you can get where you want to beShow notes are available at allegrasinclair.com/017

I want to interrupt my ongoing discussion about toxic people and give you hope and provide some top reasons you aren't where you want to be. Would it excite you to know there are just 10 reasons you are not where you want to be? YET! Based on emails and comments I have received, there is a lot of frustration building up. When you look at your life, you may be miles away from your goals and dreams – so far you wonder if you’ll ever get there. This gap can be especially frustrating when you feel like you’re working really hard to make your dreams come true.Show notes are available at allegrasinclair.com/016

It's time! Today, declare your independence from everything that hinders you from being fabulous. It will really be a day worth celebrating when we declare our independence from everything that no longer serves us. Imagine how good it will feel and how powerful you will be when you let go of the junk that's weighing you down. In this episode of the podcast, I explore what independence means in an actionable way.In this episode I discuss:The dictionary definition of independenceWhat independence means for usWho or what we need to be free ofHow being dependent helps usHow to tell when we're ready to move onSeveral powerful examples of situations that no longer serve youThe secret to change.Show notes are available at allegrasinclair.com/015

You want to find your lane (your purpose) so that you can get in your lane and stay there, right? I've been thinking a lot over the last few weeks about intention, focus, purpose, fighting fear, etc. Basically I have been thinking about all the things that will prevent you from stepping into and living out your purpose. One of things I think really distracts a lot of us is too many options.If you have multiple talents, it can be harder for you than for others to figure out which one talent you want to focus on in this moment. It sounds so weird, but I sometimes feel sorry for people who are good at too many things. I tell my brother and sister all the time, because they are both really smart, that I realize it can be really hard to figure out what they want to do with their lives because they are good at so many things. Who knew being really talented could be a blessing and a curse?I think the inability to identify your ’highest purpose' or at least the skill that you want to focus on right now is tough. Maybe you aren’t ready to do your highest work right now, but you would like to pick one of the things you are fabulous at to start with. The inability to narrow that list down, is what prevents so many of us from doing so many of the things we say we want to do and what the universe really needs for us to do. Keep reading to discover how to find your lane so you can get in it.Show notes are available at allegrasinclair.com/014

There is always, always, always something to be thankful for. Why should we only focus on all that we have to be thankful for in November, during traditional Thanksgiving celebrations? I am absolutely all about Thanksgiving in April this year! That’s right, all those turkeys and honey-baked hams should be very, very afraid. I have been obsessed recently with how to help all of us battle fear more effectively and one thing I know is that gratitude is an awesome tool for fighting fear. How can you be full of fear when you are too busy being grateful? Let me step back for a moment and explain two things, 1) why I am all about gratitude and 2) where on earth I have been for the past month or so.Show notes are available at allegrasinclair.com/013

An amazing red bra will change your life. I apologize, I have been holding out on you. Can we talk?! We have already talked about the fact that we can be our own best cheerleader by being careful about what we say to ourselves and recognizing all our gifts. However, there is another tool in our confidence toolbox that I don’t want us to overlook. Come closer, it’s a secret… I’m talking about your underwear! I’m not talking about just any old lingerie, I’m talking about that particular bra that changes your whole attitude the minute you put it on. It may be black or it may be leopard, or anything in between. But I know how a red bra can change your life.Show notes are available at allegrasinclair.com/012

In this episode of the podcast I look at the insidious influence of comparison. You can be honest, do you sometimes find yourself comparing your life to that of others? If you do, I am betting that does not make you feel all warm and fuzzy, and it definitely doesn't lead to your most powerful days. Comparison is the thief of joy. If you stop comparing you can learn to LOVE your life. Women are bombarded daily with images of the lives of the rich and infamous and there are endless opportunities for us to look at how others live, work, dress, dance, etc. So this concept of not comparing isn't going to happen without your decision and intention. Here are some ideas for getting this thief under control.Show notes are available at allegrasinclair.com/011

My grandmother used to call me Madame Butterfly and I loved it. My 7-year old mind understood that butterflies were pretty and could fly, and that was all I needed to know. Let's fast forward--later in life, I learned she called me that because she just never knew what I might do next. I have heard she told people that I "flitted from one thing to another looking pretty" but not accomplishing a lot. Dang, really?! That is not powerful at all. (Thank goodness she was wrong!) That puts a whole different spin on butterflies. So now I know, butterflies are beautiful but I shouldn't be one. I admit that I would often fall in love with projects and could think of nothing else for serious spurts of time. But then I would get bored and move onto a new project. Flitting from one thing to another? I don't think so, I was simply using my powers of elimination and discernment to figure out what I did NOT want to do. AND I was a child so, no harm, no foul. There is a business term, '3-day monk', which reminds me of my grandmother's assessment of my view of the world. That term is used to describe someone who gets obsessed with something in spurts, but quickly loses interest. See why it sounded familiar? Examples of these obsessions could include a new blog, a new business idea, a new way of eating, or (grab your panties!) a new relationship. Is that ringing any bells for you? This monk thing is characterized by lots of early interest with little to no results. Until we are willing to acknowledge what we do, we have no power to choose or change our behavior. — Iyanla Vanzant (@IyanlaVanzant) January 12, 2014 The bad news is that you cannot achieve success by flitting from one thing to another. Even if you look sugar-sharp while doing the flitting! You cannot have a measurable impact on your world if you lose focus before your work can be completed. You can't improve your health by eating veggies for only 5 days. And you can't draw your audience to you in 30 days. Nope and nope. The good news is that you can STOP being a 3-day monk and capture your butterfly. If you want to increase your influence and make meaningful progress on your goals, you have to show up every day. You don't have to invest 18 hours each day, but you need to act intentionally and consistently until your work is completed. How to Capture Your Butterfly: Work Every Day. Create a plan to invest time on your new focus every day. If you don't plan the time to work on your project, there will never be enough time in a day. It takes at least 21 days to develop a new habit to replace an old one. Doing 'something' each day will help you maintain focus and cement your new habits. If you do something for 2 days and stop, then start again 3 days later, that does not create strong habits and focus. Get Started Now. At this time of year, lots of women are talking about New Year's Resolutions. And some people actually think it's too late because January 1 has passed. Really? Why? You intend to keep living, right? So start today! It can be YOUR New Year any time you choose. There will never be a better time than right now. Don't Set Yourself Up for Failure. Newsflash: There are going to be days when you don't feel like doing the things you know you should do. It doesn't mean you don't really want to achieve your goal, it is just part of being human. And a woman. Some days, hormones are lying wenches. Give yourself a break and plan to build your empire in steps. If you give yourself all-or-nothing ultimatums, flitting is right around the corner. If you commit to doing something for 20 minutes a day, you can tell yourself that you can do anything for 20 minutes and believe it. Problem solved. Planning for only 20 minutes makes it easier to get started, and once you've worked for 20 minutes, you'll likely continue for even longer. Know and Do What You Love. Please do not commit to a project or goal that will require work that you don't enjoy.

There came a time when I didn't have it in me. Didn't have what in me? The ability to continue with life as normal when it was anything but. I was pretty quiet on social media and here at my site last week because we were dealing with a family tragedy. Dealing with loss is ridiculously difficult and I don't know that we ever get good at it. My first response was to try to compartmentalize what had happened and continue to do what I do, flap my Superwoman cape and delay dealing with the fallout. But I could not. And I decided it was a disservice to my circle, my audience, and myself for me to try to fake it. So I didn’t. Let me explain. Normally, I develop monthly themes for content that I am going to create or share and then on Sundays I plan content for each week. But on a recent Sunday when I would have been planning, I received the unspeakable news that one of my cousins had been killed. And in that moment, I felt almost completely lost. I say almost, because I had enough presence of mind to focus on supporting my family first. His mother—who had lost her young son, his grandmother—who had raised him and hence lost a son AND a grandson, and my mother—who lost a grandson. (Don’t worry about all the familial connections, biology does not determine relationships, the connections between people take care of that.) I felt unspeakable pain and sorrow. I don’t know if it made it worse that he wasn’t ill, that someone had killed him, but it was all so much to bear. After the initial shock wore off and I was confident that I had done all I could do to support these amazing women who have been part of my village, I then felt a new crushing blow. I remembered our final conversation, and the last words I had spoken to my cousin. I told him, ‘I hope you will keep in better touch now, because you need to know me’. You need to know me. That phrase haunted me for days. Bringing My Ghosts into the Light When I said it, we giggled, we hugged, it was an ok moment. But in my grieving mind, the words stood out as arrogant and not as loving as I wanted my final words to be. Of course, I didn’t know those were the last words we would ever share, but we never know. And I believe in the power of words and really wanted to believe that he didn’t take them the wrong way and cover it with laughter, that he didn’t think I was judging him and that I thought he was anything less-than-perfect, exactly the way he was. I wanted to take them back and I felt so angry and full of regret because I couldn’t. I was so full of regret that I didn’t have anything in me to give my circle or my audience. I could hardly eat I was so full of unspoken affirmations and encouragement. I was so full of ‘now I will never get to…’ that I felt physically heavy and couldn’t even begin to do many of the things I felt I needed to do last week. But in spite of all that I accepted the responsibility of creating the funeral program and working with my mom and the funeral director to take as much weight off his mother as we could. I believe in dark moments, the best we can do is to use our God-given gifts to help others. I usually take for the granted my ability to use words and technology to paint a picture, but at this time, I was glad that I seemed to be able to do some things on autopilot while my mind swirled with pain. No Time for Faking the Funk I am not trying to be a downer here, I’m simply being as authentic and honest as I call others to be. How could I possibly I talk about being powerful and conquering obstacles, when I was feeling that broken? Becoming a woman of influence is not for the weak or the phony. Being fabulous isn’t always pretty and that’s ok. I suspect in this last week some of you dealt with different yet similarly devastating situations. Maybe you endured the death of an oft-promised, long-awaited, new career opportunity. Maybe you regretted not saying something to a loved one or speaking up for someone who needed your...

You are not who others say you are. That's good news, right? While last week I focused on not criticizing yourself, today a recent event has inspired me to focus on not allowing others to criticize you either. In fact, I will take it a step further and suggest that we not let others define us, name us, shame us, limit us, BULLY us, or act in any way that diminishes who we are destined to be. That’s right, pull up those big-girl panties because my alter ego is dangerously close to the surface. (You have never met Erica but she is in here.) I’m doing lots of deep breathing this week because I’m angry and heart broken at the same time. In case you haven’t been following this story, let me tell you about a bright, young, African-American man named, Jonathan Martin. I believe he is standing in place for a lot of other people, but I have his name so I’m going to use it today. This particular young man may have lost his professional life last week because he was harassed and abused until he couldn’t take it anymore and fled his workplace. He is in a profession where you would hardly expect someone to be bullied and tormented like this but there is a lesson in that for us also. You can be victimized no matter where you work and what you look like. Nothing gets my Warrior Princess riled up as quickly as people using their powers for evil. When people who have been gifted with authority choose to abuse and intimidate the vulnerable, it makes me palms itch. You want to see me go from my usual soft-hearted, fun-loving self to Xena in about 3.6 seconds? Just have the nerve to take advantage of a young person, an old person, the poor, etc. Forget punching stuff in the throat, I want to hurt people who intentionally damage others. I make no apologies for that, because someone has to speak for those whose voices are being drowned out. Back to Jonathan. Jonathan Martin, is on the roster of the Miami Dolphins football team. All the facts are not in, but what we know for sure is that last week after a protracted period of what he felt was abusive behavior in an extremely hostile work environment, he ‘snapped’ and left the facility. Initial reports said he had a nervous breakdown, an emotional crisis, etc. The first word I remember hearing about possible reasons behind the incident was ‘bullying’. Bullying Is Not Macho Let me be clear, football is a brutal, macho, physically intimidating sport. I get that. However, bullying is a different matter. And so is the alleged racial bigotry he was subjected to. As the words of one voicemail he received were released to the public, it became obvious that this was not bullying or harmless hazing. The actions were intentional, ugly, racist, cowardly, repugnant, bigoted and hateful. The fact that nobody stepped in and stopped this bullying is a shame not reserved for athletes.Click to Tweet This situation is front-page news because it happened to professional athletes in a glamour city. But we know this scenario could be playing itself out right in classrooms, boardrooms, libraries and thousands of other locations right now. The fact that nobody stepped in and stopped this is a shame not reserved for athletes. You know that right? Does that give you chills? It does me. Bullying Affects the Bully and the Bullied My heart breaks for this young man. While I happen to believe that him speaking up is incredibly brave I know that the price he will likely have to pay for slaying this particular dragon and saving his life and the lives of others, may be more than he realizes. Because of the macho sensibilities around sports, especially football, and all that I have heard and observed about the behavior inside male locker rooms, there will be many who will call him soft, denigrate his physical skills, and say he should have kept the dispute in house. Maybe that is true. Maybe he tried to do that. But the fact that it is now being widely reported that he is in therapy trying...

Here are 5 steps to stop criticizing yourself. We’ve all heard her — that mean, inner voice that speaks up whenever we’ve made a mistake or something didn't turn out as we planned it. Sometimes, your critical inner voice (I call her the Confidence Assassin or CA,) tells you what you should have done but failed to do. Other times, she reminds you of something you did that you should have avoided. If she's so smart, why is she a figment of your imagination!? I want to inspire you to stop criticizing yourself. Leave that foolish work to others and become your best and strongest cheerleader. Whenever you have a continuing inner dialogue or conversation with yourself about how you’re falling short in an area of your life, your self-criticism is racing right along, egging your Confidence Assassin on. ~ Allegra Sinclair How can you quiet that voice before she destroys your self-esteem and confidence? Say it all together class, Punch it in the Throat. Here is how to stop criticizing yourself: Analyze the self-criticisms and smack 'em down. Point by point, what is your inner voice saying? Write it down so you can look at what you feel you’re doing wrong. Once it's written down, some of them are going to immediately look suspect. One by one, go through the points and ask yourself, “Is this really valid?” If so highlight it and make a plan to correct it. If not, cross it off your list so you can start rejecting that thought if it comes up again. Actually say, "I reject that" or "Cancel!" when the false self-criticism pops into your head. Don’t let your inner voice keep repeating these lies! They’re untrue. Take an active stance to discard them. Do you remember the show, La Femme Nikita? I'm referring to the one with Peta Wilson, not the new version that I could never get into. There was so much power in the word, cancel. Apply that to your self-criticism. Figure out when the criticisms began. For example, if your Confidence Assassin keeps saying, “You'll never be successful at anything,” take time to figure out why you feel that way. If you keep saying it, it is coming from somewhere. We all have occasional self-critical thoughts, but the persistent ones need to be put under the microscope. You’ll likely discover a time when someone whose opinion matters to you was overly critical of you. Unfortunately, people can devastate the self-esteem of others when they use negative, accusatory, or demeaning words to evaluate or judge your life. Have you really 'always' done something or have you recently started singing that song because someone spoke that lie into your life? It makes a difference. Acknowledge that self-criticism can be damaging. If you continue to repeat the negative statements, it can be crippling to you and even block your ability to create the life you deserve. Realize that no one can function well when being told constantly that she cannot persevere and rise above her challenges. If you have been talking this way to yourself, how is that working out? What kind of results are you getting right now? To get new results, you need to do a new thing. Running yourself down emotionally isn’t the answer to any positive question. Drown the negative voice out. If you are so busy filling your mind and future with positive thoughts, theme music, big goals and dreams, etc. you won't be able to hear the Confidence Assassin when she starts whispering. CAs and all unfounded fears are cowards. They don't show up, stand in front of you and shout, they whisper from the sidelines, like cowards do, until they get your attention and distract your focus. Don't give them the time of day. If you don't leave any room for this type of negativity, she will have to find somewhere else to play. If you withhold food and light from a plant what happens? That's right, death. Let's commit manslaughter on our Confidence Assassin. Negative self-criticism won't have any power over you when she is busy trying to get your attention with her...

If you’re at a point where you keep asking yourself, “How did I get here?,” it may be time for you to figure out ways to change the direction of your life. Admitting you are dissatisfied with your life may not be easy, but it’s a necessary first step that will lead you toward finding a life and career that you love. Aren’t you glad Mick Jagger was wrong? If you want to get satisfaction, consider these steps: Get specific about what is disappointing you. Jot down the details of what bugs you. For example, if you’re disturbed about your home’s condition (unorganized or messy), write it down. If you feel depressed because you never got the training or education you wanted, put that on the list, too. The purpose of this step is to identify the things that you find hard to accept about your life. This list provides you with a blueprint of what to work on to achieve the life you really want. Come up with concrete solutions for each of the items on your list. If the mess annoys you in your home, write down what you can do in the short- term to feel better about it. Do the same with each item on your list. These solutions will guide you in your quest to live a more optimistic, satisfying life. Start working on some of your solutions TODAY. Once you make a good start, you’ll be motivated to continue. Keeping with the same examples, get some boxes and garbage bags and work on getting your living room in shape. You don’t have to tackle your entire home at one time, start with one room. Make some calls to the local schools to see what courses they offer in the field you’re interested in. Better yet, visit their websites and you can see for yourself the course offerings, length of training, and costs. Refuse to let anything or anyone stop you from changing your life. Commit to yourself and your future. Acknowledge that you’re worth the effort to achieve your goals. Create visual reminders that you can do it. You have what it takes to move your life in the direction you want to go. Each day, be positive and encourage yourself. Tell yourself you can do it with a visual reminder. It could be as simple as a post-it note on your mirror or a positive picture as your computer background. Create a support team. Who do you have in your life that will be supportive of your positive efforts to re-vamp your life? Is there a parent or sibling, friend, neighbor, or even a co-worker who might be inclined to motivate and encourage you to follow through with your life changes? Don’t complain along the way—it will confuse you. You have acknowledged that there are things you want to change and you are making those changes happen. Why complain and keep reminding yourself that you are not where you want to be yet? Keep in mind that some journeys are bumpy and some changes are a little scary. But when you start to move toward your goals, you’ll realize you’re beginning to love the possibilities. The good news about dissatisfaction with your life is that you have the power to improve your life however you like. If you identify specific areas that disappoint you, you can then generate solutions to correct them. When you start putting these solutions into action and refuse to let anything stop you from fixing your life, you’ll start to see results. Keep in mind you can do anything you set your mind to and you can seek support from your friends and family. Most importantly, approach your plan to fix your life with a true sense of excitement. When you move through these steps, you’ll see that anything is possible.

For some of life's biggest battles, we have to fight like a girl. Kelly is many things besides being a breast cancer survivor. She's a daughter, a mother, a friend, a student, etc. A divorced mother of 2 girls, her first response to her diagnosis was terror and worry about leaving her daughters without a mother. In this episode she shares her life-changing story.A huge proponent of breast self exams, Kelly noticed changes in her breasts and went to her doctor for follow-up. She credits that early detection with saving her life and the lives of many other women. Throughout her 3-year journey she used information and action to punch cancer in the throat and she continues to apply her new system to facing down every fear in her life.Show notes available at allegrasinclair.com/005

Fear. Throat. Punch. A couple weeks ago I introduced my 'Punch Fear in the Throat' concept. Have you recovered yet? Good, because I want to poke that bear some more this week.First, let me make it clear that I AM encouraging world-wide punching of FEAR in the throat. We will talk about removing toxic people (haters) from your life on another day but right now I am totally focused on silencing fear. So nobody can say that I was advocating violence in case there is a rush of women punching each other in the throat. I did not say that. Are we clear on that? Good.Show notes available at allegrasinclair.com/003

Transitions usually follow 6 steps. If you attempt to skip any of those steps you will be frustrated and you will delay the point when you will actually reach your goal. The steps of transformation will not be mocked--you must walk through them all to make lasting change. And we don’t want to make changes that don’t survive a season, do we? Ask the gym owner who couldn’t sleep in January but is lonely now because all of the ‘temporary’ changes have been forgotten. As you prepare to begin your transformation journey, I want you to be realistic about your level of readiness and prepare to be successful. Skipping transition steps taste nasty, just like skipping the salt when making a cake. Be realistic about what you need to do to transform.Show notes available at allegrasinclair.com/002

Don't look in the dictionary for the definition of Allegrativity. You won't find it there. In this episode of the podcast, Allegra Sinclair defines Allegrativity and explains why she thought the term was necessary. She also shares her passion for helping to create a world filled with powerful women who are confident enough to live their intended purpose.In this episode you will hear:The 6 major barriers that are currently holding many women backThe danger in getting too much help on your journeyHow long it really takes to make lasting changeListen in weekly for action steps for getting unstuck and assessing how you really want to show up in the world.Show notes available at allegrasinclair.com/001