“Rattle Me Bones, bonedaddy!” is not just for bedroom talk anymore! Now you can play without the dirty talk in the Rattle Me Bones home game! It’s like Operation, except there’s a little skeleton guy wiggling! Everyone wins! Except maybe the skeleton since you’re taking their stuff and that’s not very nice. That skeleton has… Read more S8:E28 – Rattle Me Bones Board Game Ad

It’s time to become what we always wanted to be: Useless bags going to useless destinations! Finally, I can lay down and enjoy the ride, get handled by security and slightly irradiated just like I always wanted. Maybe I can be sorted to a better place in life! Sure, it just might be the gate… Read more S8:E27 – POV: You’re a bag that was just checked at the airport

Alas, poor Yorick! I knew him well! He made this slidedeck for me to sell Denmark! They don’t know that we’re doing it. Well, maybe they have an inkling of an idea. We’re called the Denmark Corporation after all. We kind of said on our yearly business review that we are going to “sell that… Read more S8:E26 – Hamlet “2000” Movie Trailer

It’s 1991 and Cindy Crawford has the Official Drink market in an iron fist. America won first blood with making Cindy Crawford hold a Pepsi, but it wouldn’t stop there. Japan had Pocari Sweat and a puma to help sweeten the deal. She was working on the Canada contract soon with her sword training. She… Read more S8:E25 – Cindy Crawford Pocari Sweat Commercial

Summer may be winding down in the real life that you and live in, but it’s still going strong in the Bachelor in Paradise! Why, David Spade is hosting! And they got all these names having fun on the screen! Some of them may be rats habitating a facsimile of a human skin designed to… Read more S8:E24 – The ‘Bachelor in Paradise’ 2021 Intro

When you put Bac-Os on a salad, what you’re really trying to do is resign to fate. The salad is there. You’re going to eat it. You may enjoy eating it! You may not! But you’re probably not the most excited by it. You need something to take your mind off all that saladness. Bac-Os… Read more S8:E23 – Bac-Os Commercial

Captaiinnnnnnn Planet! We’re summoning him with our rings! Our rings of elements! We have to be in close proximity to the other four to do so and unfortunately, we hate the other teens! We’re just going to use our cool water powers to make like a river and flow into the ocean! We don’t need… Read more S8:E22 – Captain Planet Summon

Grant Nel took the dive like a champ. Hi fives, smiles, the only thing red was probably he back from the failed dive. I mean, what else can you do? When you receive a vision of the future and it is a zero score, you can’t exactly walk back down? You gotta follow through. Accept… Read more S8:E21 – Grant Nel Scores 0 Points with Failed Dive

Here’s your one chance, Fancy! Don’t let me down! Get the nice cat glasses out and let’s eat Viennetta! It has… Layers? Of Dairy? It’s not an ice cream. Legally we can’t call it an ice cream. We can legally say layers though, right? … Our lawyers say to hold off on the layers. Okay,… Read more S8:E20 – Breyers Viennetta Ice Cream TV Commercial

Sometimes, you just need a video of an anime chomping on ice. Just really going to down on that solid water hoping to crush it into a nougat of liquidy water. This is one of those days. You’ve earned it. You’ve made it to this part of the week and we’re so proud that you… Read more S8:E19 – Wolves Chomping on Ice

The damn sound. You can’t escape from it. No matter where you are in the house, it means someone is sneaking on the computer. And that your cleverly laid trap of leaving the pc speaker on at full volume worked. You know they’re about to log onto America Online to chat with their dang internet… Read more S8:E18 – Windows XP Startup Animation

VIDEO GAME HINTS! They’re fast and fun! It’s like an ancient gacha for your phone, except your parents will get even madder at you! Don’t mind the super hero trying to usher you into the St. Paul megadome (St. Paul residents, I am sorry but I’m not looking up your sports arena’s name. I’m sure… Read more S8:E17 – 1-900-HOT-HINTS Commercial

At Hidden Valley, the ranch flows unending. There’s just too much of it. We need to use it in more and more creative ways, but it means we all must make sacrifices. The ice cream truck? Gone. It’s now full of vegetables (and ranch dressing.) The children? They must enjoy the ranch as well. If… Read more S8:E16 – Hidden Valley Ranch Commercial

If you go to Kingfish Restaurant in Louisville, KY, it sounds like you’ll get some pretty good seafood! This is judging by the reviews online, but also the reviews of these paid(?) actors in the 1990s commercial they made it sound pretty sweet too! The catchy jingle and the twirling of shrimp and onion rings… Read more S8:E15 – Kingfish Restaurant Commercial

It’s Star Trek! In DEEP ASS SPACE! And… They’re mostly chilling. People are on their time share, y’know. Enjoying life among the potential war zone. Drinking at Quark’s Bar. Complaining about Romulan Ale or something. Look, I loved Deep Space Nine but I don’t think I’ve ever seen it remotely in narrative order. Mostly it… Read more S8:E14 – Star Trek: Deep Space Nine Opening

It’s becomming firework season again in the US, which ranges from May – whenever we run out of fireworks! All manner of firepower big and small will be used, but maybe not these dainty little dragons that shoot fire out of two directions. They’re just too cute! You want to hug it while its on… Read more S8:E13 – BW1612 DRAGON WITH WINGS FIREWORK

Everyone loves a Herman Miller chair. Especially the host this week Aaron. But Aaron doesn’t want to pay full price for a Herman Miller chair, understandably! That’s why he is working for co-host John as his left Porsche 911 shoe, a concept he is looking to get outlawed *immediately* in all 50 states. Is it… Read more S8:E12 – Herman Miller Chair Commercial

There’s a place in Knoxville where you can go to see little circular homes that are of a certain fantasy classic but legally distinct from it. You can throw axes there! Talk by the fire! Listen to the power lines sing a song in your gentile ear. Yes, it’s the Ancient Lore Village, a project… Read more S8:E11 – Ancient Lore Village

You’re done arguing with your friends! We can all agree going to the Werewolf versus Vampire movie is neutral ground, right? We weren’t all going to see Mystic River so you better damn well deal with this sci-fi creation under a blue light and you better be damn neutral about it! Look, there’s vampires! And… Read more S8:E10 – Underworld (2003) Official Trailer

It turns out that everything they warned us about is all true. Pokemon Cards are the devil’s work! The mere touch of a rare card is enough to convert your entire body into an explosion of pokemon cards and coalesce into something that looks quite like you… But different. Never will you be the same… Read more S8:E9 – Pokémon TCG Commercial

No, I do not want to date your avatar. Unless your avatar is a Ragnarok Online model! Then maybe I would consider it! We would have spent ages levelling up together, so at the point where we may consider dating I would know if we were a good fit for each other. We’d also know… Read more S8:E8 – The Guild – Do You Wanna Date My Avatar

We live in a society where we can get very specific descriptive pills faster than this Clue speedrun we watched on loop for this episode (At least, if you’re in America. We’ll privatize the shit out of anything!) Professor Plum will give you all the boner pills a podcast can buy! Maybe he even has… Read more S8:E7 – Clue Speedrun in 0:00.733

Oh, damn! Looks like Timmy’s a big kid now! He’s got the double deep dish pizza lunchable with a cola and Reese’s cup! It’s where cravings and malnutrition meet and he’s at the height of his popularity! He’ll remember this day where he was the envy of all the other kids on his school lunch… Read more S8:E6 – Lunchables Mega Pack – 2000 Commercial

It’s another day at the workplace. Everything is the exact same. The cafeteria ran out of bananas again. Your co-worker can’t stop yapping about the event of the moment. Your boss wants a report in. If only something could help alleviate this boredom! Perhaps a chatting application built into my required mailing software for my… Read more S8:E5 – IBM Lotus Sametime for IBM Lotus Notes Users

Sam Beckett is unstuck in time and oh boy is he solving a lot of problems! He’s quantum leaping here, quantum leaping there, leaping everywhere and all he wants to do is go home and cause problems. He’s not even leaving the problem solved in a respectable state! When he quantum leaps out, the person… Read more S8:E4 – Quantum Leap – Season 1 Intro

The spirit of horses are alive, but not the horses themselves! They’re just in another world and they’re racing for… I dunno, reasons? Because they gotta? Maybe it’s like a hummingbird thing and they always gotta keep running so it’s better to put that energy on the track? Hasn’t that one horse girl been in… Read more S8:E3 – Umamusume: Pretty Derby Opening Theme

It’s time for some German song and dance! Please join us as we use the ancient woodland instruments! A fake wooden fake synthesizer. A Fake bongo/cymbal thing. Fake bird calls. An especially fake backdrop! Together, with the power of lip syncing we will tell this world about how they will perish without trees. But in… Read more S8:E2 – “Die Woodys – Fichtl’s Lied” Music Video

Sometimes, you just need to have an impromptu, indecipherable breakdown battle with a bullet. It happens to the best of us, but only KoRn was able to monetize it in a way to make them big. I hear the bullet is making their rounds on the con circuit, punching holes in all the kids’ klassic… Read more S8:E1 – KoЯn – Freak on a Leash

Jingle All The Way is that Christmas Movie most people can get behind. It’s not any of the classics that are overplayed on the television screens this year, for one. It also has Arnold Schwarzenegger and Sinbad in their prime, so people can point and go “I remember that guy!” or even “I remember that… Read more S7:E40 – Jingle All the Way Movie Trailer

It is time to jam! Jam it all out. Be sophisticated! Spread it on a biscuit! Eat and enjoy the brand! Get a job in the jam corporation! Realize the fallacy of human kind as we enter the Second Fruit Impact and the dark meaning behind all their fruit juice spreads! How deep do the… Read more S7:E39 – Polaner All Fruit Commercial

Sure, you could contact colleges yourself. But why would you if you can listen to this bop while having them contact the colleges for you? The choice is clear. You got TV to watch. You don’t have time to learn about learning! Anyway, break time’s over; time to sling these ketchup and mustard bottles to… Read more S7:E38 – Education Connection Girl Commercial

Sometimes you just want to nestle in a warm blanket and watch a bunch of fire department demonstration videos on how quick things can go up in flames. Christmas Trees! Deep Frying Turkeys! Obscure Plugin Assemblies! The world is your oyster and that world is on fire! But you don’t have to cover it up… Read more S7:E37 – San Diego Fire Department Christmas Tree Demonstration

Anime on Toonami was a rare time. You’d get work you’d never seen like The Big-O and be fascinated by its ideals that maybe was too big for it to full fit into. Or you could watch Candidate for Goddess, which no one has nostalgia for even if people claim to have it. They really… Read more S7:E36 – The Big O 1999 Opening

Are you a little horse crazy? Aren’t we all? If you’re the president, you have to say yes. If you’re doiing improv, you can say no if it works to the scenes benefit but it’s better to build the scene by saying yes. If you’re a human, you can say no, but you’re probably not… Read more S7:E35 – Horse Crazy Trailer

Oh god, the Doodlebops are in town. Hide the evidence. They can’t know. I mean, they won’t know. They’re always wrong. But I’m not the one going under for a very fragile and unsupported reason! No, it’s going to be you! You’re stuck with this mess! I’m going to Miami for a while. Maybe the… Read more S7:E34 – The Doodlebops Opening

Sometimes, you need to watch a dryer advertisement for a company in another country away from your own. See the world in a different pair of eyes. Talk through the neck holes of their shirt. Become real stop motion through a painting that is well animated. We’ve all been there. Even if you deny it,… Read more S7:E33 – Ariston (And On and On)

It’s Spooky Season! So very spooky! Pick out a favorite bone and go to town in the graveyard! Just make sure you have a tight skele-five when you come out of your coffin. First impressions are important! Otherwise, you’re going to get laughed out of the graveyard and that’s your new home!! Aaron Littleton is… Read more S7:E32 – “Spooky Scary Skeletons”

What is a concept anyway? Is it just making a hit song, getting a few people and a vehicle together on a backdrop to shoot a music video and posting it on youtube for all to see? Or is it the commentary on the whole process that’s the real art? Neither. It’s the work you… Read more S7:E31 – Khesari Lal Yadav “Bihar Me Hoi” Music Video

There was a time in America where you could pay you way anywhere with two options: Money or Rob Schneider movies. Most people would prefer the money, sure, but the Rob Schnieder movies were a tradable commodity where you could get two or upwards of three dollars for it at various shops. 82 minutes of… Read more S7:E30 – “The Animal” Trailer

The can will follow you home. You have a forged a contract with it. It is beyond your control. It is a shadow, the true self. You desire to devour it. It desires to be devoured by you. Consume your desires. Become one with them. It is time. Persona 6 is wild, y’all. John Hurst… Read more S7:E29 – Chef Boyardee – “Rolling Can” Commercial

The Hento Automatic Fried Rice Machine waits for noone. You want rice/noodles made? You damn better be around to catch it. It’s got shit to do! It can’t be waiting for you! The Hento Automatic Fried Rice Machine has places to be! It’s got to get home to its wonderful house and wonderful Hento Automatic… Read more S7:E28 – Video of Automatic Fried Rice Machine

It’s time to demagnetize your stuff! And if doesn’t need to be, let’s magnetize it anyway! It’s fun, it gets the whole family involved and who knows, it might become your job until it is phased out completely by modern technology! Embrace it while you still can! The sea is calling! Not the ocean! John… Read more S7:E27 – Old CRT Hyundai 15G Degaussing

The mission is totally impossible, right? Maybe? It seemed pretty doable to me. You get a face making machine and you can fight communism like all damn day. You ride a motorcycle, you sneak into a boat, you get Peter Graves to help type you with your novella and you’re home before you can discard… Read more S7:E26 -Mission Impossible (1989) TV Opening

Can the coach that brought the 1985 Chicago Bears bring your local soda brand to victory? Schweggman thinks so! Don’t worry about potentially food poisoning! Mike Ditka will solve your problem while you’re in agony! As long as it’s a sport and it involves coaching. If it doesn’t, sorry, Big Shot Soda and Mike Ditka… Read more S7:E25 – Mike Ditka Schweggman’s Big Shot Soda Commercial

We don’t know a damn thing about clams or clam juice. We’re never going to get our inheritance at this rate! Can we partake? We… Just… Don’t… Know! Better watch this one on loop to see. Aaron Littleton is your host this week and he’s recording the second take right now. John Hurst is your… Read more S7:E24 – Clam Juice (Commercial School Movie) (Made for TV)

Everybody! It is unequivalably required by you, the consumer, to move your feet and move your body! Preferably in a direction that leads to the local tanning salons where you will find great deals on ways to get a tan that does not involve (too much) of the sun! Please enjoy our salad bar. Or… Read more S7:E23 – Junior Senior – Move Your Feet Music Video

It’s tough being Mr. T. You got to act tough all the time. Wear the chains. Yell at a dude bro. Drive in a tank. Throw a snickers at some wimp. It wears down on a person. Noone asks if Mr. T wants a snickers. He can only distribute. Sure he could go into the… Read more S7:E22 – Mr. T Snickers Commercial

Hello. Welcome to Californication. We hope you enjoy our new open beta. Please keep all hands and feet inside the ride as we introduce you to four shirtless dudes who are both shirtless in fantasy and reality. Adding a shirt to these individuals is not allowed. Especially for Flea. He’s got us this sweet Silicon… Read more S7:E21 – Red Hot Chili Peppers – Californication Music Video

YOU MISERABLE, MANIC MONSTER! How dare you turn these cars into humans! Humans who can barley crush things like that of a monster truck! I wanted to see monster trucks crushing the spirit of American muscle cars! Not these mom jean wearing fools! Those thighs could barely crush an apple juice carton! Now, Grave Digger… Read more S7:E20 – Monster Wars – Grave Digger vs Carolina Crusher

Party People! Are you ready to jam? Jock Jam, even? Maybe even to slam for four points in tiny basketball? Tag Team is back again. We’re back too. We’re all hanging out at the combination tiny basketball court/50s diner together. Maybe you could join us too? It’s there. Where it is. You know. Whomp. Whomp,… Read more S7:E19 – Tag Team – Whoomp! (There It Is)

It is time for teenage drama and smooches and aliens and smooches. We got it all here! All the food groups needed for a late night not quite cable network! You need a young actor looking away at a camera dramatically? We got it! No charge! Roswell’s just that kind of show. Maybe. We haven’t… Read more S7:E18 – Roswell S2 Opening Credits

Heatsinks are in everything. They’re nice. Make a good sound when you drag your finger across them. Have a good feel too. Pleasant to look at. Cools your CPU and other tech thingies. How can you go wrong? And they look delicious when they’re being made too. Tantalizing. Maybe you can just rip off one… Read more S7:E17 – 양산 진행(mass production) customer U.S.A

Your destiny awaits you. Calling to you. Hoping you will respond to its texts. You’ve held it back for long enough while lying awake at night, staring blankly at the familiar ceiling that clouds your dreams. Are you picking the deck shoes… Or the penny loafers? Your feet desire comfort and safety, but also fashion.… Read more S7:E16 – Radio Radio “Dekshoo” Music Video

Is there anything less enticing that a non-alocholic ad for a day of significance Americans love to alcohol it up on? Sources say no. Everyone says no. But Party City says maybe? We’re not sure if they said yes. They clearly hired actors to act like they’re having a party so they’re trying their best.… Read more S7:E15 – Party City “Cinco de Mayo” Commercial

Wake Up! There’s a complete breakfast to be had! You must consume it now. Make it uncomplete! Nabisco Brands depends on you for the profit forecast! We rented three bear suits and one of them will not give theirs back! We hired him on as staff as a barter for getting the suit and our… Read more S7:E14 – Teddy Grahams Breakfast Bears Cereal Commercial

You know the song. It’s stuck in your head now. We don’t need to do anything else to describe it. Babies come out of the womb and their first immediate sounds are dun dun dun dun dun in rapid succession. That’s the kind of guy Funky D the DJ King is. Oh, wait. You said… Read more S7:E13 – Darude – Sandstorm

“What a lovely place you have!” your guests says as they sip the cup of tea you provided. You glance around nervously. Yes, it’s nice. You bought it. You know it. You just don’t know if it could be… Inside enough. The walls are all there as is the roof. But the windows are a… Read more S7:E12 – Giant Swan Stuffed Animal Toy with Long Neck

The lullaby plays again. The occurrence begins again. It’s loop three. You’re back in your younger self. This time, you memorized all the great steps. The lotto numbers, the grunge era, the beanie baby fad. It’s all there in your head. You simply need to tell someone and convince them that this time around you… Read more S7:E11 – Puffalumps Toy Commercial

The house stands victorious. It shares its walls with living things, but it is not owned by those constricted by the mortality of flesh. It is in control and the people that temporarily reside in its belly know it. They cannot place things normally. Where the thing goes, goes. To move it or attempt to… Read more S7:E10 – GMod map preview: gm_8800blr

Good News, Jamiroquai ! You don’t have to pay taxes ever again! We’ll get the the hat squad to do it for you! As long as they don’t take the hat off, you’re in the clear. You want to make the hat your thing? It’s your thing, isn’t it? We don’t have to ask. We… Read more S7:E9 – Jamiroquai – Virtual Insanity Music Video

Bush’s Baked Beans has a secret recipe but they’re happy to show you the spices just like other secret brands. But they’re all too sweet! Why are they so sweet?! So baked?! So homestyle? Anyway, none of them are going on the toast. Or all of them. We’re going to find the right bean eventually.… Read more S7:E8 – Bush’s Baked Beans Commercial

Encase your pocky in a glass. Stick it in the freezer. Wait however long you wait for things to get cold. Open the freezer. Eat the pocky. Repeat. Forever. Submit to the Mikugeddon. The Mikudon. The Wooly Mikueth. Just don’t enter the RESTRICTED ACCESS area. John Hurst is your host this week and he can… Read more S7:E7 – Hatsune Miku Frozen Pocky Commercial

The orchestra is tuning up. They’re ready. They watch the artist intently, waiting for the first stroke. A ellipses. A circle? A perfect circle? Not for this. We only need two half circles here. Maybe a C. Slightly off. Shaded with a sheen. Glorious. The Face on Mars looks on intently, but innocently. Will the… Read more S7:E6 – Sony Playstation 3 Intro

Get a bunch of mascots. Make them play the wrong sport for a while. Kill some time. Noone is missing anything. Get your beer. Catch up with an old friend at the game. Pour that extra nacho cheese on. Look, that mascot fell down. Isn’t that silly? Okay, it’s only a little silly. They’re trying… Read more S7:E5 – Minor league baseball mascots play basketball

The Weekly World News! It was the most interesting thing on the checkout counter for the brief time you’re up there! You eyes would briefly look at that instead of the deal on Buy 2, Get 1 Snickers and you would learn a thing or two about absolutely nothing. Then the cashier would get your… Read more S7:E4 – “1985 Weekly World News” Commercial

How much money would it take to win one thousand dollars from a 1-900 number? How much of your friends money? Can they rap? Can you rap? Doesn’t matter. Bad rap or no, you still have money to give! Or your parents money! Money that you could use to buy Land or Time and your… Read more S7:E3 – Be A Star Hotline Commercial

What would you do if you’ve been Gadgeted? Would you change the world? Would you fly across the sky, free like an eagle? Would you fix the worlds problems with a random assortment of tools? Or would you sink into a level of debauchery that no person on this planet has seen before, horrifying even… Read more S7:E2 – Inspector Gadget Movie Trailer

It’s a rather good time for you to review your internet culture. Like a yearbook, it’s good to fondly reminisce about whatever you were into. Like rose tinted glasses and Quiznos Subs and flash animation. You smile as you turn the page. Where did the time go? You shake your head and laugh. It went… Read more S7:E1 – Quiznos “We Love the Subs” Ad

It’s that time of year ago! The time of year where the Jones’ turn on their holiday lights and annoy the crap out of the rest of the neighborhood with that there role playing game music synchronized. They don’t even feel the reason for the season, which is straight capitalism! They have to apply nostalgia… Read more S6:E45 – Final Fantasy with Christmas Lights

You can tell us a story anyway you like. You can weave you tale and flourish it with the most fantastic language. You can win prize after prize. But we bet none of it equals the saga that is “Horse kicks tree, farts on dog then runs away.” Not even Hemmingway would dare approach such… Read more S6:E44 – Horse kicks tree, farts on dogs then runs away

Vine was the perfect place to go to watch videos of people falling stairs. That’s why they had to get rid of it. That’s why we’re stuck in the social media migration we’re in now. If we had Vine still none of us would be dealing with that. We’d just be dealing with the sheer… Read more S6:E43 – Guy Falling Down Stairs Vine

You’re working for the Middle State Anime Convention Trading Company. You got a fresh supply of Love Hina‘s taken from Minnesota you’re sending downstream to St. Louis and you get a 10% bonus if it’s out before the imports start making their way to the dockside dealer halls. Life is hard, but it has its… Read more S6:E42 – Love Hina Opening

It’s the post Thanksgiving gathering with your friends from high school. You’re tired of the family that made you leave the town so it’s time to leave them again and see the real reason why you return. That gang’s all here. You smile and grab a Brand Beer from the Brand Cooler. Life is good.… Read more S6:E41 – Yeah Yeah Yeahs – “Maps” Music Video

Did you know that Staples has a new logo? Like, three years ago? You didn’t. Don’t lie. I didn’t. I driven by a staples every day this entire time and haven’t noticed it. Because it’s a Staples. But these people did. And clapped. Probably because it’s their job. Probably because they’re fans. We may never… Read more S6:E40 – Staples Logo Unveiling

Blow the foghorn, the meat bicycle is here! The Claymore Man comes a-wieldin and to that we’ll have a good eatin’! You can make your own or wait for him to come swinging! Either way, it is a delight and horror to children at the same time and that’s all we really want out of… Read more S6:E39 – “Meat Bicycle” TV Spot

Ah, yes. BloodRayne! The franchise that, much like a vampire, refuses to die. Every once in a while a new game comes out. And it’s alright! Enough to enjoy over a weekend of nothing else to do. But that’s it. Like a vampire, you forget they’re there until it’s too late. Then bam! Another game… Read more S6:E38 – “BloodRayne 2” MTV2 Video Mods

Ain’t no better way to kill off your fast food mascot than to leave him eventually discarded by the side of the road. All the mitt wanted was a lite bit of fun! The wind had other plans! He is no longer within the warm embrace of Arby’s, who would later have the meats. But… Read more S6:E37 – The Talking Oven Mitt Goes for a Ride

Atlantis! City Underwater! Source of Legends! Games you played on every system from the Atari 2600 to…. Whatever PS5 game is involving it right now. Maybe a Last of Us. Heck if I know. But it’s there and we seek to prove it! … By getting distracted by philosophers philosophizing and robes. We’ll solve the… Read more S6:E36 – Atlantis for Atari 2600 Commercial

Gosh, things are just… TOO. DARN. HOT. I can’t grab all these hot things! Good thing I have the new Hot Hands glove(s) to stop my hands from becoming hot! I no longer need to worry. The power of heat will never touch my cold, blood-filled hands ever again. We will be safe and protected… Read more S6:E35 – Hot Hands Gloves

Soothing music time approaches. It means you’re about to play a game. A Genshin game, maybe. You feel at peace with the world. All is well. The bridge is being made as you walk towards your 10-pull of anime husbandos and waifus. But a thought crosses your mind: Where is Boston, really? Is it like…… Read more S6:E34 – Genshin Impact Login Opening

Over Mitts. 🧤🧤🧤🧤💦💦💦💦💦✨😊. Truly, a work everyone will understand. Soon, you will too. Aaron Littleton is your host this week and he is ready to sit down and watch some shows on the hot new platform Netflix. John Hurst is your co-host this week and he is impossible to stop on the Top 100 baby… Read more S6:E33 – OXO Silicone Oven Mitts

Shaq goes out onto the ice, slipping on his curling shoes and sliding out to eruptious applause. Pepsi has abandoned him, but none of these fans will. They know his ability to throw the rock, to hurry hard into the goal; Charles Barkley agrees. There is only one obstacle between him and Olympic glory: A… Read more S6:E32 – 1993 Pepsi Commercial Featuring Shaq

Kielbasa! Kielbasa subs everywhere! There’s a party at the Subway Sandwich Shop and you’re not invited because the fire marshal is full enforcement. He lost all his mutant powers during the House of M story arc so he has to use words and pleads for people to not make places into a fire hazard for… Read more S6:E31 – Subway Commercial – The Myron Cope Kielbasa Sub

Michael Bolton does the same thing every day. He wakes up in an exotic location of his own choosing. It’s always a different exotic location. He wanders to his boat, powered by shadowy drivers and crooning, and they go exploring, presumably looking for ladies or abandoned boats or something. Then he goes home and has… Read more S6:E30 – Michael Bolton, “Can I Touch You… There?” Music Video

This is your brain. This is your brain smashing a pan on things. It feels pretty nice, doesn’t it? Fun even. They don’t need that set after they’re done. They’re going to burn it down. Not even for insurance! Not even for pleasure! They just do it. And then you’re going to go voice act… Read more S6:E29 – “Your Brain on Drugs” PSA

Join the latest craze: The internet! From America! Specifically, the Online portion of America. Sit in your Office and browse your Sports without having to open up a paper! It’s all virtual, baby! Your can order more khakis now from your home! The wrong sort of khakis! The type you have to adjust all the… Read more S6:E28 – America Online Commercial 1997

Look, it’s right there on the tin. This rat spins horizontally. You want vertical? That doesn’t sound nearly as good. They have that too. But we like this one. We’re fans of the traditional, horizontally spinning rat values here… AND we have various opinions on crackers. That’s who we are at Video Death Loop. Now… Read more S6:E27 – High quality horizontally spinning rat

Ah! After six seasons, we have finally done it! (We are not finally free, we are still doing this. We are trapped in our own prison.) We’ve done the Power Rangers opening! This feels like a thing we should have probably got out of the way in Season 1 or something, right? But we didn’t.… Read more S6-E26 – Mighty Morphin Power Rangers Opening

Donkey Kong is trapped. Make no bones about it. The jungle is his hell and he is forced to endure it. His captors: Funky Kong, a Kong that is so funky it does not register on the funkotronic scale, and Diddy Kong, a hellspawn designed by Satan’s intern. Together, they control everything Donkey Kong sees… Read more S6:E25 – Donkey Kong Country TV – “Funky’s Treasure Rap”

It’s 1995. You have found the end of Dollywood. It’s in the woods! Why is it in the woods! You don’t know. You just know it’s looking less like a theme park and more…. Wood-like. There’s an Eagle Sanctuary nearby that says Dollywood and the ride has the Butterfly logo on it, but is that… Read more S6:E24 – Thunder Express Dollywood Roller Coaster Ride Along

It’s AMERICA’S GAME! Accept it! Accept its place in the heart of America! Specifically three contestants at a time who can win fabulous prizes! Spin the wheel! Feel valued! Lose it all and start all over again! It’s Wheel of Fortune! What, you think you have to try?! This ain’t Jeopardy! Just say a letter!… Read more S6:E23 – Wheel of Fortune Season 31 Opening

Chicago! Line on up! Come get your slam dunked submarine sandwich, made specially by the Chicago Bulls! Small Forward Scottie Pippen is making them hot off the basket! Mystical sandwich powers can be a curse, but the Bulls make the curse look so very good! Even better than a newspaper from the future? Well, that’s… Read more S6:E22 – Mr. Submarine Scottie Pippen Commericial

Snowman are cute until you realize they have teeth. They don’t teach that in science and biology. Not because they don’t want you to know but because you have to find out the horrifying truth for yourself. Every person has to come across that, much like you on the highway trying to find any sort… Read more S6:E21 – Nestea Skeleton Snowman Commercial

20 yards away there is a bear. It’s running at you. You’re not sure though. You need to use math and you’re math, for lack of a better word, is faulty. You got your bear spray with you and you’re not afraid to use it. You just want to make sure you’re not wasting it.… Read more S6:E20 – Bear Spray Safety

Look up at the sky! It’s a UFO! Television Opening! Fromm the 70s! Several groups of people in several environments are on the case! Maybe. They’re looking like they are, save for the Sub crew. They’re ready for local goth night on the submarine. You can’t escape goth night, Gary! You gotta listen to Bauhaus… Read more S6:E19 – UFO TV Opening

Behold! A Nintendo! At your local mega toy store, even! Does that other store have? We say nay! Don’t even look in that trash fire they call a “shoppe”. We know they don’t have it because we of Toys R’ Us say they don’t! We made the deal with Nintendo! It’s our stock! You can’t… Read more S6:E18 – Toys R Us Nintendo Commercial

Freeze, kids! Don’t you move! This is an emergency! A food emergency! We gotta get you the most non-food content your body can technically digest! Here, suck on this hose full of cheese! Then eat the fruit roll up and corn! Your body will eventually make something that resembles nutrition, but for the sake of… Read more S6:E17 – Kid Cuisine Cheese Blaster Commercial

The 90s were a time. Some humans experienced it and it was okay! Other humans did not and that is okay too. Just know that during that time we had a song by Rednex blaming a Cotton-Eye Joe for not being married some long time ago. The good news is that the 00’s also could… Read more S6:E16 – Rednex – Cotton Eye Joe 2002 Music Video

OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO~~~~OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO– Aaron Littleton is your host and he’s getting drunk off news gift chocolate liquers. John Hurst is your co-host and he’s incensed by the size of Cheez-Its(tm.) Download Link Ask us questions at [email protected]!

Hey everyone! Do you have your copy of Mortal Kombat 3 yet? How about the movie? The action figure? The animated direct-to-video show? The stage show? The cookbook? Well, come with us to E3 1995 and be Hype(tm) for Content(tm)! We have all the content! What’s the internet? We barely know about it! It might… Read more S6:E14 – Mortal Kombat 3 – E3 1995 Williams Presentation

Ah, yes, the woods! Where nature and vampires co-exist as one. Humans may think they control the earth, but no sirree bob! Only a vampire knows the hard work you have to put into the earth. Raising raccoons, shrinking horses, spending an inordinate amount of time in the outhouse. Yes, we vampires know the earth… Read more S6:E13 – TWILIGHT (2008) MOVIE – TRAILER

Behold! Look upon your trash bags and despair at their quality! They are not Hefty brand trashbags so they are INFERIOIR in the eyes of God and all that he holds before him as good and pure. You will not be chosen in the rapture. Nay, he will clean you up in his Hefty-branded trash… Read more S6:E12 – Hefty, Hefty, Hefty, Wimpy Wimpy 1984

The Waves! The Races! The Sixty-Fours! Never has one game combined so many nouns successfully and succinctly. It had a sponsor and and it had dolphins but it knew better than to not push its luck on the name. No, three is the magic number. Let the waves do the talking! When the world is… Read more S6:E11 – Wave Race 64: Intro

Gather your teen pop posse and dance a closely-knit jig, because it’s time for witchery to begin. We have one single target: A single boy in a field of flowers. The goal: throw him into the minivan. Most importantly, do not ask or answer questions. If someone asks if you are the Irish pop group… Read more S6:E10 – B*Witched – C’est la Vie Music Video

Donnie Yen! You get off this car this instance! You don’t know where it’s been! I leave you alone for two minutes and you’re breakdancing all over the city like the opening to some Hong Kong film! Slapping stickers all over yourself like you are sponsored and warming up hot dogs in your pants? What… Read more S6:E9 – Mismatched Couples Donnie Yen Dance

The Classic Rock station is on. You don’t know why it’s on. You didn’t turn to it. You thought you were listening to your Bluetooth phone. but it’s there and it’s playing Creed. That Creed song. The song that takes you higher. You start wondering where the time went. Where your friends are. Hey, look… Read more S6:E8 – Creed – Higher (Official Video)

Maritime Law is NOW. Come aboard the cruise ship! Kathy Lee Gifford is here to show you the way! Sneak on some alcohol and buy their expensive alcohol too! Become a goblin! Celebrate the purge! Drink in a Frog Bar… Thing? We don’t know what that is or what you do on a cruise ship… Read more S6:E7 – Carnival Cruises Commercial 1990 with Kathy Lee Gifford

Attention, Spacemart Shoppers! We know we could just give you a text notification into your intellivisor, but we feel the bitcrushed tone of the personal announcement system just has that special touch, you know? We hope you’re enjoying your fabulous new virtual reality shopping experience like we are recreating it! We just released the latest… Read more S6:E6 – ShelfZone VR Shopping Experience

It’s 9:28 AM in Colorado Springs. There is chance of isolated thunderstorms in your neck of the woods. But it’s alright. You’re at home, your belt is off, the fireplace is not on (Because it’s nearly 80 degrees and that seems unwise) and you have the mood lighting all set to low, low, low. You… Read more S6:E5 – TWC IntelliStar – 8/12/2005 – 9:28am EDT

The squeaky clean image of Pizza Hut in the early 80s didn’t last too long. You can only go through so many neon aerobic workout videos before it changes a person or a company. By the 90s anyone and everyone was hocking PS1 demo discs and cassette tapes and we learned it from Father Pizza… Read more S6:E4 – Pizza Hut 1981

Melissa is calling again. She wants to talk. It’s too much. The older boy can’t handle it. His weekly paycheck at the Kum & Go gas station is going straight to bathroom cleaning products. The younger brother is scrubbing away every night making sure the bathroom shines before Melissa inevitably calls again. He doesn’t see… Read more S6:E3 – Mr. Clean Commercial 1990

ARE. YOU. READY TO. GO?!CAUSE. I’M READY. TO GO!ARF. ARF ARF ARF. ARF ARF!?BABY, BABY! Powerman 5000! 5000 men of power! Colliding worlds! Wearing goggles! Getting stuck with powers beyond their control to fight the evil who is stopping their concert! It’s all very Ultra Mega. Nowadays, to get that Ultra Mega you just have… Read more S6:E2 Powerman 5000 “When World Collides” Music Video

Here in the year Two Thousand and Twenty Two, we at Video Death Loop can never be as cool as people who wreck cars for Hollywood. We especially wouldn’t want to get in the way of those who wrecked Jeeps for the A-Team back in the day, because we’re pretty sure they could still wreck… Read more S6:E1 – The A-Team TV Theme Tune

Warning! This animation is not for kids! It’s literally what every anime commercial in the 90s did and Columbia House was no exception! Stick that “NOT FOR KIDS” sticker on the front and let’s watch some exploding heads! Mileage may vary. Shipping will definitely vary. But you will at least get Akira on VHS and… Read more S5:E49 – Columbia House Anime 90s TV Commercial

Do you remember the radio, the thing you would you to listen to music that you now listen to podcasts on? Do you remember news radio, the thing you would listen to that was also not podcast and was more focused on our grim reality? How about Newsradio, the comedy show about being on the… Read more S5:E48 – NewsRadio: Season 4 Theme

IT’S BISCUIT TIME at Tudor’s Biscuit World, which promises to you a world of biscuits (as long as you are getting biscuits in West Virginia.) They have them all! The biscuits you think about! The ones you don’t! Some that are named after people? Why are they named after people? Are they people? No, let’s… Read more S5:E47 – 12 Days of Biscuits 2012 (Tudor’s Biscuit World)

Can we offer you a broken roomba repair video in this trying time? The mole people don’t need one, something about floors already being made of dirt and no eyes to see it. The robots don’t need one because they are SO perfect anyway. So I guess we gotta give it to humans. Come, let… Read more S5:E46 – Troubleshooting: Mobility | Braava® Jet 240 | iRobot

Sure, you can be edgy, but what happens when you add bullets to the edge? Faster edges. Faster than Microsoft Edge. Faster than Final Fantasy IV Edge. Faster than whatever else is Edge-related that I can say. You guffaw at the Gunblade from FF8 but let’s be honest: You’d definitely fire one if someone presented… Read more S5:E45 – Final Fantasy VIII Opening

Ducks, man. Ducks love some peas. They love them more than I think I love any actual food as a human, if this video is any proof. We here at Video Death Loop are both in awe and terrfied of the ability of a duck to tear through and muddy up a bowl that once… Read more S5:E44 – Ducks annihilate a bowl of peas

Video Death Loop Pita Krispies 1 pan (variable size)1 bag of marshmallows4 coffee cups vegetable oil (nearly expired)1-2 bag/box of unflavored pita chips1 video of a guy with with a hammer and a strong opinion of Gustav Mahler Symphony #6Also the hammer from the video Crush Pita Chips in bag with hammer to hammer’s preference.… Read more S5:E43 – HAMMER

There’s a Starman in a Pixar trailer this time. He is currently waiting in the sky. He’d like to come and meet us, but Aaron said to dare let him try! It’s just as well, honestly. It gives the starman (Perhaps the Lightyear, as seen above) more time to think about far more important things.… Read more S5:E42 – Lightyear Teaser Trailer

What is the best part of waking up? Is it actually successfully waking up, realizing you escaped the clutches of death for at least one more night? Is it the toast from the toaster and/or toaster oven and/or oven wafting through the house? Is it the coffee jingle? Maybe. We are forgetful in our modern… Read more S5:E41 – Rockapella FOLGERS Commercial – :45 & :30

Sing it with me, everyone! Salad Shooooooter! Sing it from the top of your lungs into our ears, preferably while you’re making a salad with the toppings of a sald! Get a corded one! Get a cordless one while you’re at it! Use them all Salad Akimbo! Make your co-workers worry at the next potluck… Read more S5:E40 – Presto SaladShooter Electric Slicer-Shredder Commercial

Cellular DNA. Mobile Phone RNA. Landline Mitochondria. It’s all connected, man. It’s all making energy with us because it is us. Until it isn’t. Then it decides to take us to a nice night to the opera and set us on fire. That seems a little petty, honestly. It could have talked it through with… Read more S5:E39 – Parasite Eve Playstation Video Game TV Commercial

SUBMIT TO THE DANCE. Enjoy it. Learn to live with it. Enjoy the 24 hour support, 365 days of the week. Ignore the fact that they’re genetically engineered for maximum advertising, these tiny mice. Ignore the cat in the corner that they use to make sure they do their job as efficiently as possible. Ignore… Read more S5:E38 – Japanese Computer Commercial (brand name: Mouse)

You knew it was only time before we put a death loop within video death loop. It’s recursion, baby! We’re with it and within it too! You can use that in your next Programming 101 class, professors. And skateboarders too if you’re really into recursion. Maybe other podcasters too. This is now a recursion podcast.… Read more S5:E37 – Bob Burnquist Loop of Death

In the beginning, a single chocolate bar will rise. Or maybe it’s chocolate. Is it really? This is an ad for sexy white chocolate and they are really piling on how freeing this chocolate will make you damn feel. You’ll see a swing and maybe some bubbles and you won’t even notice because sexy times… Read more S5:E36 – Nestle Alpine White – Sweet Dreams Commercial

Welcome to the show! We got it all! We got circuses that have turned psycho from animation! We got cool ass skeletons! We got these older guys in makeup! We got a green screen and Silicon Graphics workstation! We don’t need anything else for ROCKING. Well, maybe a Gibson sponsorship. And a clown. Maybe two… Read more S5:E35 – Kiss – Psycho Circus (Official Music Video)

A secret from the templars! Tom Hank’s hair! Jesus! Maybe. I don’t know. I never watched it. There’s a code and Da Vinci has something to do with it. It was big in the 2000s, much like “art” and “media”. People running through the streets, either in pursuits in codes or running away from codes!… Read more S5:E34 – THE DA VINCI CODE – Official Trailer [2006] (HD)

Turtle Pies! From Hostess! And the Ninja Turtles! In the 90s you could get away with any crime as long as you were associated wih a popular children’s brand. Put some vanilla pudding in a what looks to be a malformed pickle? Sure! Sounds tasty! Sell it to the kids! Heck, give them a free… Read more S5:E33 – Ninja Turtles 1991 Commercial Turtle Pies

The cats, oh how they shake! How they shake in the earthquake! Quiet they stand and let the ground move. They hold their sway for a few moments. They knew they brought this on the earth and knew they must be careful. If they swayyed any harder, the big cats with the phone cameras may… Read more S5:E32 – 地震で揺れる猫たち　Earthquake shakes Cats

OH MY GOD THREE PERCENT LIQUIDITY. That sounds great! Whatever that means! JRR Token, the latest in cryptofashion, has all that and more for you. Will they explain what it means? Maybe? Maybe not. There’s a pie chart. They burned a part of it? And why does everything smell like pancakes? Maybe it’s all the… Read more S5:E31 – JRR Token Cryptocurrency

The Crazy Frog is only like 30% crazy, max. Sure, like he is unusual, but I wouldn’t say he is crazy. Maybe like speaks louder than normal at a restaurant crazy. Goes to the grocery store and buys at least four different flavors of pop tart crazy. Rents the wet vacuum from the same grocery… Read more S5:E30 – Crazy Frog – Axel F (Official Video)

Those chips need to escape. Into your hands, specifically. Into your mouth, where the delicious junk morsels must go. But heaven is denied and you have taken to greater measures. You back up. It’s personal now. It’s just you, a roomful of classmates with easy access to photographic evidence and a vending machine with a… Read more S5:E29 – Kid Breaks Vending Machine

Hey, look! It’s the Doctor! The Doctor of Whositwhatsit! There were many of the Doctor and Sylvester McCoy may be your winking doctor! But overall, he is a distraction from the TRUTH. The truth your conspiracy discord and DVDs don’t even want you to know! The plan was hidden under our nose this entire time… Read more S5:E28 – Doctor Who Theme (1987-1989)

SCENE – EXT. NEW YORK SCENE The Video Death Loop hosts (Aaron Littleton and John Hurst) are in a conundrum! John yet again bought a sandwich that is Too Large to fit the in refridgerator! Hijinks ensue. If they can’t fit it in the fridge, it’s going to get moldy and smell! And the landlord… Read more S5:E27 – Puppy Plays with Butterflies Video – Explained

The party is going well. The music is banging. The people are awesome. And you got some good movies playing in the background. The kind that are good to have in the background and you don’t have to pay attention to. But the movie is over and the punch bowl needs refilling. You can do… Read more S5:E26 – Bouncing DVD Logo Screensaver 4K 60fps – 10 hours NO LOOP

It is the Nineties and it’s time for Flipper! But not the Elijah Wood/Paul Hogan feature film. No, you’re getting the 1995 television remake for.. Channel? Was it a channel? Was is on TV? We don’t know, but there’s like four seasons, a Tim Allen lookalike, an actual Jessica Alba and one coke-addled dolphin who… Read more S5:E25 – Flipper 1995 – Season 1 Intro

Come to Super Van City!!! It’s a Van! And a City! All in one!!!! But it’s tiny too. But the big sort of tiny? The kind of tiny that has a whole block to it, with a potential small (micro) kabab place with the good kababs and the one with the okay kababs too. And… Read more S5:E24 – Micro Machines Super Van City Commercial (1995)

Don’t you wanta? I’m tempted to end the post there. There’s a few of us (Namely the two of us hosting this podcast you are looking at right now) who have an instant reaction to those words or the saccharine jingle that is somehow melody-less and catchy at the same time. The trend is to… Read more S5:E23 – Fanta Fantanas Invasion 2000s Commercial (2004)

Aliens! Do they exist? Who knows?! Maybe the government if they can stop shrugging their damn non-alien shoulders! What are we looking at? Bigfoot? The Moon? A crude-shaped future drone? We asked every member of Blink-182 their opinion and we realized we don’t personally know any of the members of that band so we’re stuck… Read more S5:E22 – Pentagon releases UFO video

Your neighbor has left for the weekend. You offered to house sit and they’re ecstatic to have such a friendly neighbor willing to do it for free. But you have an ulterior motive. You know they’re using the Pizza-Tron 5000 XL Microwave, with extra room for maximum flakyness on the dough. You know it’s next… Read more S5:E21 – Japanese Frisbee Pizza (20 meters)

Twelve issues of animals! Twelve of them! Can you name them all? Aaron Littleton is your host this week and That’s the promise of Zoobooks where you are going to learn about these specific animals or die trying. If you survive, you get a cool tiger poster, thee centerpiece to any elementary school child’s room.… Read more S5:E20 – Zoobooks (original commercial)

o/~ AHHHHHHHHhhhhhhhhhhHHHHH! HOOKED ON A FEELING! This baby is dancing! And it is called a meme! Though we didn’t know it yet! And some other words right here!” Honestly, I don’t know what else to say about this. It’s a baby. it’s dancing. It was on a hit TV show for an episode and people… Read more S5:E19 – Dancing Baby Screensaver. 1996 (original music)

Melrose Place! It’s a place near Beverly Hills, 90210! It has people! Sexy people! Do they know the people from the show ‘Beverly Hills, 90210’? Let’s hope not, if that want to survive to the next season! Always stopping the music and re-assuring the audience that maybe they won’t die in a horrible firey accident… Read more S5:E18 – Melrose Place Theme

There’s something strange about pest control companies. Something a little unhinged. Maybe it’s the destruction of thousands of tiny little vermin and bugs every day that breaks a person. Maybe it’s entering house upon house looking for every fault. Maybe it’s the smell of all those chemicals mixed together, just wafting around in his truck.… Read more S5:E17 – Reno Pest Control – Catseye’s Best in the West!

When the hell are we getting back from those messages? Did we ever leave? Did we get those 80s and 90s toys they were about to talk to us about! Did we ever achieve the ultimate in fantasy weaponry? We don’t know because we’re trapped in a claymation hell going bump in the night with… Read more S5:E16 – ABC ‘After These Messages’ Saturday Morning Bumpers

Oh, you think it’s just going to be a nostalgia trip through commercial land. They always think that. One minute you’re watching the Bubble Tape Commercial on a streaming site of your choice and the next minute you’re buying it at your gas station and remembering that chalky taste that never quite goes away. As… Read more S5:E15 – Bubble Tape Commercial

You’re at the hottest restaurant in town. You think. You’re not sure if your friend who swears by the place said it was on the first or second floor but you’re there. A decision has to be made. Surely, if they’re in the same building, they’re both equally good, right? You make a decision. It’s… Read more S5:E14 – Book Promotional Video Template

Your abs need a shape! Any shape! And you need to find the perfect way to do nothing while doing that! What if I said I had that and can still make you terrified to do small menial tasks while doing so? Then I have the Hawaii Chair just for you! Imagine a chair with… Read more S5:E13 – Hawaii Chair Infomercial

You are Tom Green. You just put a mouse in your mouth. It’s the third time you’ve done it this week for three different movies. You think this one is for some movie called Road Trip, but you’re not quite sure. You’re mixing up the movie plots. You would be mixing up the lines, but… Read more S5:E12 – Road Trip (2000) Official Trailer

The world wasn’t ready for the FlavorPro Injector. Noone was. Not you. Not me. Not the Rocket School where it was used to keep its inventor around because noone knew how to properly baste a meat despite having plenty of access to fire and potential cooking experience from the fire. He was a person of… Read more S5:E11 – FlavorPro Infomercial

It’s time to go to sleep, engineer! Get to the back to the caboose, where you sleep, I think. They didn’t pay for that insurance for nothing! And if they did, well, why did they do that?! While you’re going back there, tell them about our in-transit entertainment, which is nothing but the opening to… Read more S5:E10 – “Going Bananas” TV Opening

It’s 2:04 in the afternoon. It’s time to start getting ready to go home from school. Or… Is it? Maybe you put on your sweatband. Maybe you put on your dancing gloves. Maybe you have the whole suit to go with it! The breakdance suit. Because you’re part of the Breakdance Club at your local… Read more S5:E9 – HCRHS Breakdance Club Commercial

It’s the night shift again. It’s time for you to close up. It was a busy day at your Arby’s franchise, but you feel like the service you gave was at least worth a “3” on the Customer Satisfaction Survey. Heck, maybe it was even a “4”! You’re satisfied. Still, the stress of the day… Read more S5:E8 – Fushigi Ball Commercial

The Sandwich Artist beckons. Come. Enter the lair of magic and protein. Become filled with wonder about the amount of carbs and vegetable-based products in this laboratory of food. You are welcomed here. You and your hunger. We know why you have arrived in this nexus of hunger and salvation. It was not by choice.… Read more S5:E7 – Subway’s Uncharted 3 TV Promo

Matthew McConaughey! A man of action! Romance! The movies! He’s been in it all! But has he been in the Sahara? Yes, actually. He has been, in a movie no one can actually remember seeing but everyone thinks was kind of alright! Was he finding gold? Yeah, sure, maybe. Was he doing the action? All… Read more S5:E6 – Sahara Movie Trailer

What the hell is Cola? We don’t know! We don’t have access to the internet in this business room. It’s against corporate policy! We have a white board, some markers that are half dry and the most powerful tool we have at our disposal: Our minds! Now, let’s make some circles (use the green markers)… Read more S5:E5 – I Wanna Shasta 1983 Vintage Commercial

You gotta make that content! Everyone’s doing it these days! If you don’t have a personal brand, you might as well be Personally Damned ™! You can hear this and more on my self-help audio cassette “Jumping Ropes Through Life”, which has been used by many successful people! Take virtual youtuber Korone Inugami, for instance!… Read more S5:E4 – 130万人いくまでやめられない縄跳び (Inugami Korone)

Welcome to the meeting. Come inside. How you vibing? You vibing good. Well, worry not. While you’re  hear inside the sauna, you can let all your worries go away. Rest your head. Let your stress melt away. Listen to the music of Peter Gabriel play on the radio nearby. We only have one song, and… Read more S5:E3 – Peter Gabriel “Steam” Music Video

It’s a Snow Day! A day of snow! Away from your school and all your fears! Nicklelodeon Movies knows what all the kids wants and they’re going to give it to you in spades (Get it? Spades? Because you need to use shovels for snow and– Okay, I’ll stop. I promise I’ll stop. Spades though!!–) That… Read more S5:E2 – “Snow Day” Trailer

It’s Topps day. Your co-worker is getting the latest uncut set of Topps Football 1989 Cards for the last season. Everyone is excited to find their team’s players name and look at the stats on the back of their known players on the team. Nothing else can be revealed, for if it is, you were… Read more S5:E1 – 1-900-CRY TV Commercial

Barney! Would you get a load of this? I’m trying to invent a new form of food to help us wake up and start the day! You know how I invented day and night cycles, right? Yeah, Barnes, you know it! Well, I put a bunch of salt, rice and sugar together with a bunch… Read more S4:E41 – Fruity Pebbles/Cocoa Pebbles Christmas Commercial

Hey guys, it’s Uno! The game you play with people you barely know and only want to know slightly more about them by the end! Do they draw more cards? Can you make them skip their turn? Whatever! It’s Uno! Noone remembers who even won by the end! Yeah, we’ll have it done by next… Read more S4:40 – Uno PS1 Game Opening Movie.avi

Enter into the dojo of one Chop Chop Master Onion. He’s an onion. Not a wild onion that you may find in your yard or that John cannot find for the life of him, but a real onion. The type you’d put on your pizza or a calzon and sell as a promotional pizza from a… Read more S4:E39 – “Parappa The Rapper Remastered – Chop Chop Master Onion”

This trash just keeps piling up!! What’s a person with an open top convertible to do other than just throw it on the side of the road and give the middle finger to the climate as a whole? That’s just what this Tennessee Trash PSA does and it does it with the most battle damaged car… Read more S4:E38 – Original 1976 Tennessee Trash PSA

Hey Ghosts! Are you a ghost? If you’re a ghost you have to say “Booooo!” At least that’s what this Applesauce container says. It’s really weird that I’m following what an applesauce container says, but that’s because it’s 4 PM and I’m waiting for the reruns of Knight Rider to  hit my TV Screen after… Read more S4:E37 – Knight Rider Theme

You get knocked down, but will you ever get back up again? It’s a question posed by Chumbawamba in the 90s and we embraced it in every commercial sense. That’s why when you have a game made by an American company detailing soccer in low polygons with a freakish latex-laden bird mascot, you need something to cover… Read more S4:E36 – World Cup 98 (PS1) – Intro

Sometimes you just need to watch a mashup video that hastily combines two properties to celebrate an album that is all about merging media proprieties. Like this fan video of Neil Circierega’s mashup of Queen and the Spongebob Squarepants theme. And that’s fine! What are people in the future going to say about it though?… Read more S4:E35 – Spongerock Music Video

What the heck is a Rax? We don’t have one where we live, but John (may) have been to one before. It’s got speed lines to tell you it’s fast! And people apparently explode when you say the slogan for their short time pita wrap thing. Terrifyingly, at that! Can you get some Rax and… Read more S4:E34 – Rax Roast Beef Commercial

Come to Cabot Cove! Please! We need people to move in! Come see our nature and outdoors  and fresh air and trees!  We have lots of available, affordable housing for you to move into!  And we have Angela Lansbury, the star of Murder, She Wrote! Just ignore the fact that the last three people who… Read more S4:E33 – “Murder, She Wrote” Seasons 6-7 Theme

It’s an emergency Halloween slumber party and the nearest place is Walgreens. They don’t have any of their 4 for $10 Coca-Cola Products or pizzas, but they do have a copy some Quaker Oats Cereal and a copy of Bedazzled starring Brendan Frasier in the $1 bin ready for watching. It’s just as good right?… Read more S4:E32 – Walgreens Halloween Commercial

Wait, you’re the 3 Ninjas of Nebraska? No way! We’re the Iowa 3 Ninjas! Fancy seeing you guys all here! So, how’s grandpa? Still skipping out on family to run a fake syndicate of ninja kids for the 90s? Same here! We got so much in common! Hey, you should come with us to Mega… Read more S4:E31 – 3 Ninjas: High Noon at Mega Mountain Trailer

Diet Coke is a magic drink that makes America go around. Without it, we’d be twenty years behind the times, unable to be productive in business meetings or pretend like we’re working at the gym and watching ourselves. But did you know that there’s a secret reason why Diet Coke became so popular and it’s… Read more S4:E30 – Diet Coke Melting Football Players Commercial 1991

You say your sick and you need to stay home from school today, but everyone knows what you’re really after. It’s time to enjoy that treat denied to us in our youth: Unlimited soup and crackers, a warm blanket, the chance to play Final Fantasy 8 and finish it before your friends and watch a… Read more S4:E29 – “The Price is Right” 26th Year Season Opening

It’s DragonCon 2006. You are thankful you chose to the timejump into 2020 and get that much needed relaxation before, but the 2020 you is ready for 2006. Armed with your extra knowledge of household cleaners and phone scripts, you can’t really use this in terms of your enjoyment of the convention, but you feel… Read more S4:E28 – Dragon*Con 2006 TV Commercial

I have never been so happy as the people in soap commercials. Feeling good? Sure. Feeling relaxed? Maybe! But never to the point of the freak out psycho energy that they display in using a single bar of a corporate branded soap. What’s in it? What’s the secret? Is it illegal? Does it need to… Read more S4:E27 – Zest Soap Commercial

Garfield likes a lot of food. This is considered one of his many good traits that he has and makes him a timeless classic. He will sell you all of the food in the word too. Fruit Snacks, Cereal, Breakfast Bars in Embassy Suites, all of it. Even Ravioili for some reason! All but the lone and… Read more S4:E26 – Garfield Ravioli Commercial

It’s cursed! Or mysterious! I don’t know, the History Channel claims both when it comes to The Curse of Oak Island but they’re definitely leaning hard into the “Curse” portion of the show. We aren’t so sure! There’s a big tunnel and some talk about the Templars and there’s a school bus shot for what appears… Read more S4:E25 – “The Curse of Oak Island” TV Show Opening

This week we watched an old Wendy’s Training Video for Hot Drinks on loop and learned a LOT about making hot drinks (Again.) John forgot Aaron made him watch it back in Season 3 and he thought he was being clever. Now he has to make a choice and and the dimensions (And April) hangs… Read more S4:E24 – Wendy’s Training Video for Hot Drinks (Again)

Do you need drama in your drama program? What if we had an emergency trip to the hospital? What if we were the hospital. What if we had a bunch of emergencies every episode in the emergency room and that was the show?  I think we might just have a hit show from the 90s on our… Read more S4:E23 – “ER” TV Show Opening

In the late 80s, cereal ideas were already pretty dire, but that doesn’t mean anything if you have a dino pun ready to go! As soon as you make a dino pun, your marketing idea instantly jumps up in potential profits 800%, no matter how much sawdust and glue you use in the final product.… Read more S4:E22 – Dinersaurs Cereal Commercial

Alexander Hamilton (Not pictured) is on a lot of people’s minds this week! That’s weird. Maybe something came out and people are into it but it definitely hasn’t hit our radars! The only way we know about the man who would become a Founding Father would be through this  “Got Milk?” commercial that played all… Read more S4:E21 – Alexander Hamilton “Got Milk?” Commerical

When you’re at the Sizzler, everyone is equal. It’s like socialism but with what more shrimp and sundaes. It’s a quiet revolution sweeping the nation but maybe it could be sweeping through Time as well?! Only Sizzler and the Epsilon Project Protocol know for certain! Come be a part of our family in any time! Any… Read more S4:E20 – Sizzler Promotional Commercial

We were kind of obsessed with giving kids things that could be used as weapons in a pinch! Baseball bats? Great, you’re already there! Scooter? Hey, you can twist that thing around and do a sick kickflip on someone’s face! A Yo-yo? I played Startropics, I know those things can do damage! And the Skip… Read more S4:E19 – Skip It! Toy Commercial

Gull wing doors! They go up and down, not to the side! It’s the future! And also, I think it was in some movie in the 80s. It’s the DeLorean and it’s at your local CostCo! How did it get there? Why is it matte black instead of the normal stainless steel aluminum design? Who… Read more S4:E18 – Original 1981 DeLorean TV Commercial

Hey, did you come here because you saw the PS5 Reveal Trailer earlier? You did, didn’t you? I knew it! You saw that Deathloop game (Which looks very good, I don’t blame you!), decided to search for it and you found this podcast instead! Sorry! But while you’re here, we watched the PS5 Reveal on… Read more S4:E17 – Playstation 5 Hardware Reveal Trailer

Did you realize the Game Boy Camera solved all your problems? No? Well, that’s because you were probably one of those poor saps playing Pokemon or Tetris or whatever “fad” was happening at the time. The Game Boy camera is real! It has your face in it! Or your dad’s face! Or your bully’s face!… Read more S4:E16 – Game Boy Camera Commercial

The Blair Witch! Oooh,  scary! It has symbols everywhere! The camera is shaking and they are scared and being picked off! We’re all shocked! But it’s rated R so we better not see your 16-year old behind in here! Unless you sneak in with a plate of chicken livers, and then you better share (And… Read more S4:E15 – The Blair Witch Project Movie Trailer

You ever just go to into your car (The passenger side, since you never get to ride in your own car. Enjoy the experience!) and just… Chill? Snoop Dogg does. Or maybe he’s riding in someone’s car and they went inside for a few minutes! Who knows! He could be in mid-transit to making the… Read more S4:E14 – Snoop Dogg Just Sitting in His Car Listening to Let It Go

Have you heard the tale of your local dentist down the block who will give you laughing gas whenever you want?! He’s a little more expensive than most, but he does the job! He’s got only a 3 star on Coruscant Review, but he’s trustworthy! I think he might also be the an emperor of… Read more S4:E13 – The Tragedy of Darth Plagueis The Wise

What do you think Kenny Loggins is doing during quarantine? Do you think he’s doing the same thing he is doing in here in the music video for pinnacle song from the pinnacle soundtrack of our time, “Top Gun: Music From the Motion Picture”? Probably! Because it’s kind of not a great video! He’s just… Read more S4:E12 – Kenny Loggins’ “Danger Zone” Music Video

Is the Monterrey Jack Quesadilla date a first-rate date idea? Taco Bell sure thought so! Just as the goop from the bottom of the bag is scooped up into your mouth orifice, you may also experience the joy of a slightly spicy delight of Monterrey Jack cheese with your date on your low-rent sofa meant… Read more S4:E11 – Taco Bell Monterrey Jack Cheese Quesadilla Commercial

Sometimes, you gotta make that sale. And in the cereal world, making that sale is hard. The Rice Krispie guys got a corner on the air puff and desert market. Tony the Tiger knows his stuff is addicting and doesn’t care who he peddles it to because he stands by his product. And we’re still… Read more S4:E10 – Hulk Hogan Honey Nut Cheerio Commerical

Have you seen Speed 2? We sure haven’t. I mean, we’ve seen the trailer yes, but the movie, not so much. Why? What was it about a franchise that lost one of its temporal B-listers and replaced him with boats (ships?) that makes even the truly uncultured such as us lose interest? This week we… Read more S4:E9 – Speed 2 Trailer

Where were you when the new Sakura Wars theme song dropped? Were you watching online? Were you in the audience? Were you, most horrifyingly of all, on…stage? Yeeeesh. This week we watched the New Sakura Wars theme song reveal video on loop! Well, mostly anyway. John Hurst hosts and trims and beard. Aaron Littleton co-hosts… Read more S4:E8 – New Sakura Wars Theme Song Reveal

Whatever you do, do not bing shiny hands. Don’t do it. It’s…it’s not good. Don’t turn off safe search. What are you doing. I said don’t do that. STOP STOP STOP YOU DON’T NEED TO DO THIS It’s an intermission! We’re in our respective homes. There’s not really a host and there’s no video. But… Read more S4, Intermission 1 – The Opposite of the Open Road

I want to tell you about these so-called “humans”, with their so-called “boats”. They dangle…dangle’s the right word right? They dangle worms, the juiciest you’ve ever seen, right down here in our faces. IN OUR FACES! But let me tell you friends, these worms are not what they seem. Oh no, not at all. Not… Read more S4:E7 – Fishing Show Bloopers

What’s your aesthetic? My aesthetic is essentially the Matrix DVD menu: an endlessly looping SD video of overwrought motion graphics hiding special features no one will ever watch and Easter Eggs no one will ever find. On a good day, I prefer this aesthetic through the filter of an early consumer digital camera, applying a… Read more S4:E6 – Sony Mavica Commercial

Just like with money, chicken nuggets have also been hit hard with inflation. It used to be that you could get five chicken nuggets for 99 cents at Wendy’s. Today, in 2019 time, you pay $1 for FOUR nuggets. Where did the other one go? Were we bad enough that we don’t deserve the fifth… Read more S4:E5 – Wendy’s Crispy Chicken Nuggets Commercial

Pants? So modern. Shirt? IG as F. Overly simplistic computer graphics that look like they came out of a Chinese AI factory for children’s YouTube video creation? Near perfection. A symmetrical ring of underwear poking out from above your belt? Ehhh – some things will never be cool. This week we watched the “Butterfly” music… Read more S4:E4 – Smile.dk “Butterfly” Music Video

Dunkaroos loom large in our collective unconscious. Sydney or Duncan or whoever was your Dunkaroos mascot, villain of a thousand faces, almost certainly lurks in some forgotten corner of your brain. His domain is somewhere between barely suppressed animal instincts and memories obliterated by alcoholic whipped cream. He waits, cookie held at ready, waiting on… Read more S4:E3 – Dunkaroos Commercial

Dr. Light slams hatch on his 200X Pontiac Aztek, the back seat folded down and full of plastic pet carriers. Stifling a chuckle, the bearded scientist pats the back window. “Y’know, Dr. Light, some of us were wondering,” the young shelter worker rubs the fronts of his pants nervously, “well, we were wondering…uh…what you do… Read more S4:E2 – French Mega Man 2 Commercial

It’s time for season 4 of Video Death Loop, and we’re starting off with…something. Something really real. Something by David Lynch, though we’re not entirely sure what. Sure, it’s a PlayStation 2 commercial, but what if it was also not that? Or even more harrowingly, what if it is that? What if that’s all this… Read more S4:E1 – PlayStation 2: The Third Place

Fuck Donald Trump fuck Trumpy bear fuck the person that invented Trumpy Bear Fuck that aloe plant in the fake office in the Trumpy Bear commercial Listen you know, I have feelings about this Anyway, John Hurst struck back with the Trumpy Bear commercial which I cannot believe is real but seemingly is. John Hurst… Read more S3:E45 – Trumpy Bear Commercial

A scream. A scream in the darkness. Your eyes dilate, searching the horizon. You stumble forward, rough bark from a tree you couldn’t see ripping your arm. You’re in the woods? The scream continues. Who is that? Warm blood trickles down your arm, pumping much faster from the wound than you would expect. What is… Read more S3:E44 – LeetStreet Boys “She’s So Kawaii” Music Video

The Heinz lawyer stares at you through steepled fingers. His suit is a deep, deep red. His face is indistinguishable and you’ve already forgotten his name. He sits, expectantly but in no hurry. Your eyes drift to the contract on the desk between you. Level 1. You expected as much, but it’s still a disappointment.… Read more S3:E43 – McDonald’s Kiwi Burger Commercial

We should never think about Blank Check again, but, I guess, we can’t not. It’s a really strange movie. It’s just…wild. Just wild. See, there’s this part…and then there’s that other part. And oh boy don’t get me started on that last part. Sheesh. What a…what a thing. If you can’t tell, this week we… Read more S3:E42 – Blank Check Movie Trailer

Let’s all acknowledge that at some point, every idea gets Hot Lixxed. No matter how shocking, how disruptive, how abhorrent to the societal norms of the time, Hot Lixx is the ultimate destination for all human creative capital. Given enough time, and probably less than you think, someone will find a way to sand the… Read more S3:E41 – Hot Lixx Commercial

The internet is a strange place. If the Super Mario Brothers movie came out now, we would have likely never seen that version in the wild. We would, rightfully, decreed how incorrect and bad that movie was. A stain on something so familiar and loved by many! But the movie is a treasure in its… Read more S3:E40 – Sonic The Hedgehog New Official Trailer

After suffering through last week’s Israeli coffee machine cleaning video, John decides to strike back in the best way he knows how – 80s hair metal. RATT busts up a dinner party, but is that meal podcast safe? This week we watched the RATT “Round and Round” music video, which was probably directed by Peter… Read more S3:E39 – RATT “Round and Round” Music Video

How do you describe a yogurt to someone who has never experienced it? How can  you explain that the gelatinous blob before them is actually a carefully cultivated bacterial culture? If that’s hard, imagine how to sell them Gogurt. If THAT’s hard, imagine explaining to a child what TCBY really stands for. Best to just… Read more S3:E38 – תהליך ניקוי אבנית המכונת BeanZ

Imagine a lush prehistoric forest. Your hunting group has been tracking a mega-Elk all day to no avail. Your stone-tipped spears, cumbersome at the best of times, have proven ineffective against the swift foe. You take a moment of respite by a cool stream, proto-human lungs gasping from the day’s exertion. Winter is around the… Read more S3:E37 – My salami is still alive

Misato Katsuragi whirls to face Gendo Ikari. “Sir, the angel is approaching Tokyo 3! Should we deploy the Evas?” Even the harsh lighting of the computer screens seems oppressed by the silent darkness. After a long moment, a soft mushing sound can be heard from the Commander’s chair. “Sir…are you eating vienna sausages?” Gendo’s eyes… Read more S3:E36 – Reed Reviews Armour Barbecue Flavored Vienna Sausage

Hey there! This week, due to everything shifting the wrong way, we were unable to record a normal episode! But we have technology in our pockets and a boring road ahead of us, so we recorded THIS for you instead! Come order a large imported catfish meal and enjoy! Neither Aaron and John are the… Read more S3, Intermission 1 – THE OPEN ROAD!!!

Mark Zuckerberg swivels in his chair to face the picture window behind him. So close that he can hear the deep bass thumping, a Captain Jack concert has been hastily assembled. He can see the stage even from here. “Too close,” he whispers to himself. “Far, far too close. I’m slipping.” Idly, his hand brushes… Read more S3:E35 – Captain Jack Live

Deep under the Pentagon, there is a door. An armed guard stands at this door, ever watchful. Should you present the proper credentials, you will be allowed beyond. Inside is a brightly lit and sterile elevator. Should you take that elevator down as  far as it goes you may find yourself in a large, open… Read more S3:E34 – Hank Williams Jr. “Are You Ready for Some Football” Music Video

Listen kids don’t put that salad in your mouth. It’s…not healthy OK. Nothing here is healthy. You can’t eat anything at this restaurant, or at least you shouldn’t. We watched this weird Canadian PSA about not putting things in your mouth.  You should watch it too and learn its secrets. John Hurst hosts and becomes… Read more S3:E33 – Don’t Put It In Your Mouth

There are some search terms that you just know will form a powerful intersection of energies; a load-bearing support of the deep human psyche. Before you even finish typing the phrase, you can begin to feel the weight of the results. Past that electronic Rubicon, you know there is an inescapable puissance of madness. Perhaps… Read more S3:E32 – Evanescence “Bring Me to Life” Music Video

Hey, d’ya ever wonder what the future is gonna be like? Do you think there’s gonna be like…robots? What about swimming pools? Will the robots swim in the swimming pools? What about sandwiches? Will the pools eat the sandwiches? Do sandwiches ride horses and what happens to horse bones after the pools eat the sandwiches?… Read more S3:E31 – Lil Nas X “Panini” Music Video

Listen, Harvard’s easy to get into OK? You just…throw on your smoking jacket, barge down a brandy and take a big rip of your CBD vape while submitting your taped application. It works more often than you think, especially if you live in the increasingly unlikely Legally Blonde universe. Give it a shot! (Also it… Read more S3:E30 – Legally Blonde Movie Trailer

In the beginning Ronald set “Let there be fries” and there were fries and Ronald saw they were good. Then came the dark days and there was much chaos. Ronald looked down and said “I shall punish them with a great Shamrock Shake” and they sat in their cars, listened to their podcasts and gnashed… Read more S3:E29 – Ronald McDonald Make it Click PSA

The seat feels worn. You’re sitting in a seat? You’re sitting in a seat. A movie theater seat. When did you go to the movies? There’s a cup in the armrest, it’s lukewarm soda and ice melt. You take a sip anyway. Did you fall asleep? Muscles ache to move and you long to stretch,… Read more S3:E28 – Mission Impossible 2 Movie Trailer

In some far distant era, when the year 2019 sounds like the year 219 to our modern ears, little of what made us will remain. Our physical bodies will have dissolved away, very little will prove that we ever existed at all. Some art though, will live on. Some of it will be great, while… Read more S3:E27 – HEYYEYAAEYAAAEYAEYAA

To Steven, the person whom I lent Final Fantasy VII to in middle school and never returned it: No, seriously, what happened to that copy of Final Fantasy VII, Steven? I’m not even mad anymore about it! You said you broke Disc 1 and threw away the entire game. We all know that’s a lie!… Read more S3:E26 – Konami PSX Era Logo

Man, I have no idea what’s happening here. I watched this a bunch and I just…don’t get it. Is that rice? Coconuts? Why is it hairy? What. Is. This. John. Seriously. We watched something or another this week. Get in on it. John Hurst hosts this week and lives in the goof. Aaron Littleton co-hosts… Read more S3:E25 – 沖縄食糧の天気予報

We’re back to the well with more local Ric Flair commercials! This week, we watched something out of Kansas where Ric hocks some fireworks and seems supremely disinterested. Like, REALLY disinterested. Like, mostly he’s thinking about eating ham sandwiches kind of disinterested. Here’s the commercial. It’s…not worth watching. Aaron Littleton hosts and wins another award.… Read more S3:E24 – Ric Flair Fireworks Commercial

The year was 1990 and the decade had just rolled over, kayfabe was still alive and somehow, SOMEHOW people bought the idea of Sting teaming up with Sting in a tag team wrestling match against Ric Flair. Even without endless fog machines and sweet pink stage lighting, life was good. This week we watched a… Read more S3:E23 – Sting and RoboCop Wrestling Promo

What can make you smile? A million dollars? A kitten? Perhaps even…gold? Well, for one man in 1980s Europe (and let’s not get too more specific on just exactly where in Europe) there was one and only one answer for that: a Volkswagen hatchback. Some people, huh? This week, we watched a classic Volkswagen Golf… Read more S3:E22 – Volkswagen Golf GTi Casino Commercial

If your house bugs and a spare room, it may be time to call Orkin. Yes, for just the price of room and board for a stranger for the rest of their (or your) life you too can maybe be free of insects for a little while. It’s…great? Anyway, we watched this entirely forgettable Orkin… Read more S3:E21 – Orkin “Always Workin'” Commercial

Are regular theme parks not enough any more? Not getting the same thrills from being strapped into a roller coaster called the Exploding Eagle and zooming upside down over a parking lot that could easily become your grave if the 21 year old stoner “safety inspector” called Cory failed to do his job properly that… Read more S3:E20 – Action Park Commercial

Don’t feel down, little green man! You can do this! Yes you can! You’re my strong little green man with a purple hat and a towel around your neck! Chin up little guy! Yes, chin up! A boost for everyone’s psyche, this week, we watched a clip from Dragon Ball Z where Piccolo feels pretty… Read more S3:E19 – THIS IS AMAZING! I FEEL INCREDIBLE!

The Sonic wars almost escalated into a third week. Thankfully, a deal was reached and the armistice was signed between the two hosts. The mutual ground to sign such a treaty? A minor Sci-Fi TV series that noone can actually remember what it was about. Only that they quested in the sea a lot and… Read more S3:E18 – SeaQuest DSV TV Opening

TEETH TEETH TEETH TEETH TEETH TEETH BACKWARDS TEETH (HTEET) Revenge is a messy business, particularly when your plan of revenge is to just play the trailer we watched last week in reverse so we can talk about TEETH some more. Why can’t we just have more TEETH? Don’t you enjoy TEETH? Try some today! John… Read more S3:E17 – Sonic the Hedgehog Movie Trailer in Reverse

Sure, you’ve watched the trailer yourself. Sure, you’ve watched about a dozen YouTube reactions to the trailer. Sure, you’ve read about a hundred mid-brow thinkpieces about how the YouTube reaction videos to the trailer are contributing to a culture of hedgehog fastness disparity, or like, something. Well now you’re going to listen to US watch… Read more S3:E16 – Sonic the Hedgehog Movie Trailer

You’re about to buy an energy drink and suddenly, woo! A flash of light, the smell of vitamins and there he is: Ric Flair. He’s got a possibly-opened bottle of Fuel In A Bottle energy drink and he’s forcing it into your hand. Now he’s taking your wallet and teleporting away, leaving a puff of… Read more S3:E15 – Ric Flair Fuel In A Bottle Energy Commercial

Somewhere deep in what looks like a strip mall in Orlando, there is a hallway. It is primarily beige, an unremarkable place with flecked vinyl tiles on the floor. In the hall there is a doorway, also beige, also unremarkable. There is no sign on the door, no number. If you ask one of the… Read more S3:E14 – Legends of the Hidden Temple: Mask of Shaka Zulu Temple Run

The Double Cheeseburger! It’s back! It’s back! Tell the world! Ninety-nine cents only! Your joy is now complete! For one penny less than a dollar you can get two patties with cheese! Commodity prices are low! So is the price on your life! This week, we watched a McDonald’s Double Cheeseburger commercial on loop. It’s… Read more S3:E13 – McDonald’s Double Cheeseburger Commercial

Who is the Boss? Is it Angela (Judith Light), who works as an advertising executive and exhibiting the sheer raw power of 80s Shoulder Pads to a devastating level? Is it Tony Danza, who is just playing a character named Tony in the show and didn’t have the time in his stardom to learn a second… Read more S3:E12 – Who’s the Boss TV Opening

In the early days of the web, well, the mid-early days, er, maybe the silver age? Screw it, let’s call it the proto-Attitude era of the web, this was a cartoon that was on it. It looped when you watched it. We liked it. We may have even recorded it on VHS. This week we… Read more S3:E11 – Badgers Flash Cartoon

What do you do after you save the world? Do you fade to the background and let people live their lives? Retreat to the woods and become a wise hermit? What about relishing the money and power you’re surely due? What if the answer was none of those things – what if the answer was… Read more S3:E10 – Final Fantasy X-2 Opening

In the hierarchy of chain doughnut places, Krispy Kreme has settled to the bottom, if not in quality, then at least the bottom of the country. Krispy Kreme’s fried treats have their strong points, especially their frosting waterfall. Sure, from time to time, it may get used for nefarious purposes, but the very concept of… Read more S3:E9 – Krispy Kreme Donut Conveyor Belt

Listen, when you’re Wendy’s, sometimes you gotta teach people how to make coffee. That’s just how it is. These are the kinds of people this video is for. You gotta entertain them with some music, a little bit of dancing, a little bit of sexual innuendo. Maybe a LOT of sexual innuendo. Or maybe that’s… Read more S3:E8 – Wendy’s Training Video for Hot Drinks

The Casio Loopy will make you forget about your friends, as its commercial clearly shows. First, you’ll be making a visual novel on your television, then you’ll print stickers of your visual novel, then you’ll use the stickers to stick your friends to the walls of your bedroom, slowly covering them day by day in… Read more S3:E7 – Casio Loopy Commercial

The Pontiac Aztek has a reputation for being a bad and ugly car, even if in recent years internet car journalists have started to rethink  that. Maybe, they argue it was just an ugly car. Or maybe it was a bad car. Or, I dunno, maybe it was an ugly and bad car. Unwarranted takes… Read more S3:E6 – Pontiac Aztek Commercial

The archangel Peter Gabriel may have left with his Sledgehammer, but Phil Collins still watches over us all. He helps those who cannot dance and those who cannot walk. He helps an Iguana get a lift to a much needed hot rock destination. He gives up his constantly focused on blue jeans to a pool… Read more S3:E5 – Genesis “I Can’t Dance” Music Video

Step into the world of young Kevin McCallister, a student wizard who must protect his magical school against the evil Wet Bandits. You will be amazed at how he draws his power from Vitamin C, scientifically the most average of all vitamins. Whatever a vitamin is. This week we watch the Harry Potter and the… Read more S3:E4 – Harry Potter and the Sorcerer’s Stone Commercial

Airwolf is a helicopter, yes? Or is Airwolf the guy driving the helicopter. Either way there’s a helicopter and a guy and separately, or perhaps together, one or some or all of them can be called Airwolf. Of this, there can be no denial. John Hurst hosts and gets in his wheelhouse. Aaron Littleton co-hosts… Read more S3:E3 – Airwolf TV Opening

Paul Hollywood’s hand extends towards yours. A plate of perfect macaroons, or are those macarons, sits between you. Time moves in slow motion. Rain dabbles on the tent. A honeybee’s wings, perched on an immaculate flower, move so slowly you can see them. Is this heaven, you wonder. You sweat. Why is his hand still… Read more S3:E2 – The Great British Bake Off TV Opening

We’re here, we’re back you guys! Season 3 is ready to worm its way into your head like the dark spirit trapped inside the frosty cold can of a Dr. Pepper! Have your brownies, dance your dance, but realize there is no escape from the joy we bring. This week we watched a Dr. Pepper… Read more S3:E1 – Dr. Pepper 1988 Commercial

Hey so what’s happening everyone? John and I have been basically destroyed by the holidays, er, we’ve been on such a sweet and awesome vacation that we haven’t been able to record the podcast for the last two weeks. But worry not: Season 3 starts next Friday! in the mean time, chill out, enjoy a… Read more Video Death Loop End of the Year Break

Arby’s had an idea: what if they made holiday tumblers? What if they were kind of understated and festive, without a splashy logo and cost a measly 79 cents per glass? What if they were shaped like curly fries and filled with curly fries and existed in a universe where curly fries were the foundation… Read more S2:E65 – Arby’s Holly Days Tumbler Commercial

Baseboards: we hardly think about them. Ok, we don’t really think about them at all. In a way, we purposfully ignore them. But if we did think about them, we might ask: are they necessary? Why are they there? What is this thing and why is it filthy? The Baseboard Buddy commercial we watched this… Read more S2:E64 – Baseboard Buddy Commercial

Hey do you have a minute? Do you like or dislike this show? Could you tell us about what you like or dislike about this show with that minute you have? It would really help us out and be super sweet K THX BAI Video Death Loop Listener Survey 2018

In the sleepy town of Encino, a secret lays buried: the secret of the juice. Some may wish to horde the juice and some may want to drink the juice, but both are the wrong way to approach the juice. The juice will destroy those not ready for its power and to tame the juice,… Read more S2:E63 – Encino Man Trailer

Man, those Brendan Fraser Mummy movies were pretty good, huh? Surely there’s no increasingly less relevant series of spin-offs that could detract from their inherent quality. Right? What about a prequel starring Dwayne Johnson as a goofy CG monster? What about a Godsmack music video based on the Dwayne Johnson prequel only briefly featuring pre-recorded… Read more S2:E62 – Godsmack “I Stand Alone” Music Video

Close up, Danny DeVito. He is crying. Slowly the camera zooms in on a single pore. A tear, now massive at such a small focus, erupts into the scene, leaving a smeary, moistened trail. Now the camera zooms back and the wet epidermis is the ocean, home to a host of aquatic Danny DeVitos which… Read more S2:E61 – POKÉMON Detective Pikachu Trailer

There’s a lot of John Cena media out there. Some of it is what passes for good in this wretched year of 2018. Some of it…less so. This commercial is the latter. Three John Cenas engage in a dangerously patriotic Backstreet Boys pantomime to push liquor and we are both aghast and mesmerized. If you… Read more S2:E60 – John Cena Presents: SKYY Blue

When you’ve got 15 seconds of precious airtime to fill but a total of four seconds of actual content, you do what you have to do. The Head On people decided to loop those precious four seconds over and over, creating one of the most weirdly memorable but understandably irritating commercials of the mid-2000s. We… Read more S2:E59 – Head On Commercial

Aren’t apps terrible? What if you could get a haircut without an app? That’s just the kind of sexy place Sport Clips is. Labor practices aside, they’re almost certainly better than…the alternative. We watched this Sports Clips commercial on loop this week. Get in line! Online! In line! LINE John Hurst hosts this weeks and… Read more S2:E58 – Sport Clips Commercial

Weeeeelllll Matlock may just be a poor country lawyer, but that doesn’t mean he doesn’t like money. In fact, it may be his favorite thing. He’s never going to get ahead in life if he keeps taking cases on the barter system though. Try as you might, you’re never going to make it by accepting… Read more S2:E57 – Matlock TV Opening

When it comes to devices that you talk exclusively out of the side of, the Nokia N-Gage was in a class of its own. If you deep fried one and placed it beside a chalupa, you would probably take at least a bite before regretting it immediately. If you had more than one game, you… Read more S2:E56 – Nokia N-Gage Commercial

Welcome to the Facility, try our lovely lettuce! Now that James Bond has that one guy in it, Goldeneye is positively a classic. Maybe not as classic as the circle-laden Dr. No, but still, you know, pretty classic. We watched the Goldeneye opening theme on loop this week! Join us in Q’s lab and watch… Read more S2:E55 – Goldeneye Opening

Val Venis was a wrestler that was deeply understood. Some might think that Val Venis was nothing more than a lover boy, getting his kicks on the road. But, oh no, Val Venis had so much more going on than that. A soothing tub full of calamine lotion is just the surface of the deep… Read more S2:E54 – Val Venis Wrestling Intro

Is it possible to debate your way into love? Can you start with a machete and end with peace? Is gravy truly the lubrication of society? Machete Clan attempts to answer these questions during their thoughtful anthem On the Rark. We join in by watching it on loop. Check out Machete Clan on iTunes and… Read more S2:E53 – On the Rark Music Video

Chew the Whopper. Know which each bite there is endless suffering.  Swallow the Whopper. A soul is destroyed. This is the triple Whopper. You are a part of this. This commercial was watched. Please let it enter you. John Hurst hosts and rings the bell. Aaron Littleton co-hosts and builds the room. Download Link Write… Read more S2:E52 – Eat Like Snake Burger King Commercial

Welcome to Chicago, Balki! Here we’ve got Cubs games, subways and a 3/4 size Statue of Liberty beyond the Northwest Passage? Perfect Strangers was a quintessential 80s sitcom featuring fish-out-of-water Myposian Balki Bartokomous and his put upon cousin, Larry. Something. Larry Something. Who cares. This week we watched its opening theme song on loop for… Read more S2:E51 – Perfect Strangers TV Opening

Living under the long shadow of the Sunsphere, we pay homage daily to its glittering façade. Those who do not risk incurring the wroth of the Firemen, those most in thrall to its shining, fiery ways. Long, long is the arm of the 1982 World’s Fair and we may find freedom only in the cracks… Read more S2:E50 – The 1982 World’s Fair Commercial

Far before the terrible alcohol-focused decision making of 2012, the good people at the Gillette corporation launched into the world a commercial. For a women’s razor. That got an unloved Bananarama song some radio airplay. Actually, the commercial may have used a previous version of the song. No, not that version, the other one. The… Read more S2:E49 – Venus Gillette Razor Commercial

If there was some metaphysical trend line for Brady familiarity, like some glittering string of yarn laid across a topographical map of the twentieth century whose hills and valleys represented the whole of Brady gnosis, surely the peaks would rise above the 1970s and their temporal twin, the 1990s. Atop those lofty spires, the Bradys… Read more S2:E48 – The Brady Bunch TV Opening

Hello. I am Daisy. And if we all look deep within us, aren’t we all Daisy? Aren’t we all all just far away princesses in a desert land, waiting for another taste of a big break after the 15 minutes faded away in portable monochromatic glory? Sure, we sometimes get included in their SPORTS and their… Read more S2:E47 – DAISY IS IN SUPER SMASH BROS!!!!!

In many ways The Legend of Zelda cartoon is inevitable. Just like certain novelty bongs and print-on-demand t-shirts, this feels like it was spun into life by some algorithm skimming popular topics and combining them to see what worked. At least we didn’t have to wake up early to watch it every morning, though. We… Read more S2:E46 – The Legend of Zelda Cartoon Opening

Frasier ran for an amazing eleven seasons on broadcast television, exploring the future (or past!) of the titular hero and Cheers ensemble member. Amazingly, at no point did Frasier ever rip his chest open to show you his beating human heart. To right that wrong, we watched one of the many Frasier ending sequences for… Read more S2:E45 – Frasier Ending Theme

This puppy is happy! And silent! And getting a haircut! It’s…kind of creepy, really. Let’s drink some cheap wine and forget. This week we watched Cute Puppy, a video on YouTube that has 3 views. John Hurst hosts and tries to de-stress. Aaron Littleton co-hosts and has a crisis. Download Link Write to us at… Read more S2:E44 – Cute Puppy

It’s our two year anniversary, so we decided to watch our favorite television show themes as a treat to ourselves! Also: we briefly recount the plots of Star Trek II and III. I dunno! You can watch the Mystery Science Theater 3000 theme here! You can check out the Top Gear theme here! Aaron Littleton… Read more S2:E43 – MST3K / Top Gear TV Openings

DOOM is a video game that really, really doesn’t want you to look around. 30 seconds par for its first level? It’s basically a digital “No Loitering” sign. Speedrunner Panter decided to put that to shame with the world record 9 second run of DOOM’s E1M1 “Hangar” level. Catch the video here. John Hurst hosts… Read more S2:E42 – DOOM E1M1 Speedrun

When the cubicle walls seem like a towering oceanfront fortress and the copy machine a glimmering treasure of plunder, one might begin to wonder if there is a viking buried deep inside oneself. One may long for the freedom of the sea and the roar of battle, but when the true histories are read, one… Read more S2:E41 – The Office TV Opening

We are not immune to the siren call of E3. Traffic, there for the taking and desperately needed, is locked only behind one’s ability to produce proper SEO-focused content to rise to the top of the Google search results. As such, behold: everything you need to know about The Elder Scrolls VI teaser trailer. We… Read more S2:E40 – The Elder Scrolls VI Teaser

Some years ago, noted man Nick Divers posted this video to Instagram and Tumblr and marginally increased the value of this communications medium known as the internet. Featuring a wayward burger plastered to a rain slick window while Hoku’s sugary pop jam “Perfect Day” blasts in the background, the video invites all who view it… Read more S2:E39 – On This Perfect Burger

I’m sure…I’m sure the Mathnasium advertising department meant well. I’m sure someone very intelligent thought these animated characters would help kids connect with math. I’m sure, somewhere along the pipe, the designs were created by someone who knew a thing or two about art and approved by someone who only had the best of intentions… Read more S2:E38 – Mathnasium Transformations Commercial

Riding high on the success of the Playstation era Final Fantasy games, Squaresoft bet the farm on an experimental form of realistic CG storytelling about a decade before the technology was really ready for it. Highly anticipated (by nerds) and mildly panned (by the same nerds) Final Fantasy The Spirits Within was the culmination of… Read more S2:E37 – Final Fantasy The Spirits Within Trailer

Do you have a question? Is it about a computer running Windows 95? Well, the  computer man is here for you. Especially if you’re a Candian child, you’re free to ask away. You get 10 seconds and you better hurry before this becomes a problem. Thanks Canadian kids’ television, for providing us with The Computer… Read more S2:E36 – The Computer Man

Your eyes flutter open, but it hardly matters. The darkness of the cabin in near complete, and the sound of waves lapping against the hull muffles all noise to a distant rumble. You struggle for a moment to determine why you have woke, but the night offers no clues. Almost unbidden, you find your feet… Read more S2:E35 – Game Genie Commercial

Were it not for the inclusion of moderately popular 80s hair metal band Cinderella, this local chili dog stand commercial might have been lost to time. Lucky for us, we were able to ply its depths to discover the dark secrets of the sausagemen and the rot that is at the core of Celebration, Florida.… Read more S2:E34 – Pat’s Chili Dogs Commercial featuring Cinderella

Shoney’s is one of the pillars that modern western civilization is built upon. Sure, you may scoff in 2018 at the idea of a late night buffet bar, but somewhere deep in the recesses of your mind, far from your smart phone and your Amazon Prime account, where your lizard brain still jumps at shadows,… Read more S2:E33 – Shoney’s Seafood Commercial

Karate Kid was perhaps the apex of 90s karate mania. Sure, you had your Death Wishes and your Three Ninjas, but none of them drove their karate chops so far into our collective brains as Karate Kid. As such, it was almost inevitable that it would spin off a cartoon property about…magic trophies or something?… Read more S2:E32 – Karate Kid Cartoon Opening

As popular nostalgia creeps ever closer to the late 90s, LFO’s “Summer Girls” lays in shadow as it waits to once again re-emerge into the sweet sunlight. That day rapidly approaching, its pale thin fingers flex in horrible mockery of humanity, grasping onto the rotting leaves and cold earth of the past that had become… Read more S2:E31 – Summer Girls Music Video

Hey everyone! Unfortunately, all attempts to have a new episode ready to be digested by your ears (Ew) failed this week. It was a number of circumstances but I think we all can solely blame it on the singular idea of TIME REVENGE. Time is sick of us trying to loop it and tried to… Read more Special Episode – Hercules: The Legendary Journeys! (Aaron and John Archives)

You stare into the void. You press “Like”. The “Like” spirals toward the center of the void, stretching and elongating as if drawn to the infinite mass at the heart of a black hole. Time ticks by slowly as this happens, but its effects are no less potent. You try and engage with the void,… Read more S2:E30 – Ready Player One Trailer

For once, we attempt to use our powers for good and serious reasons: namely watching the classic Patterson bigfoot film on loop until we can suss out the truth of one of the most enduring mysteries of the 20th century! Will the secret of S. Squatch finally be revealed? What does Iowa have to do… Read more S2:E29 – Patterson Bigfoot Film

If NBA Jam taught me anything in life, it taught me that you definitely catch the ball on fire if you get three or more baskets in a row and that when you achieve turbo, your shoes will light up and make you go fast. So, no, NBA Jam didn’t really teach me anything. But… Read more S2:E28 – NBA Jam Arcade Attract Mode

Are you willing to destroy the environment so your fast food hamburger can be just slightly better? Are you ready to join the mindless masses marching behind Jason Alexander as he holds the new god aloft? As the Earth collapses into the sun, will your hot stay hot or will your cool stay cool forever?… Read more S2:E27 – McDLT Commercial

Tie-in music videos are nothing special, except when a hit 90s singer uses them to confess his undying love for Batman. Will Batman finally notice Seal, or will his father force him to abandon childish things and marry his cousin or whatever? We expect a job offer from CLAMP after this episode! This week, we… Read more S2:E26 – Kiss from a Rose Music Video

There was a time, not all that long ago, that a cable channel might consider running a three-to-four hour block of computer tech tips. That network was Tech TV and that show was The Screen Savers. Maybe it wasn’t actually that long, but in our minds, it was an endless stream of registry editing, configuration… Read more S2:E25 – The Screen Savers TV Opening

Did Juicy Fruit create extreme sports or did extreme sports create Juicy Fruit? Philosophers will endlessly debate the question, never bothering to learn that Juicy Fruit was first launched in 1893 and that the creation of extreme sports probably had nothing to do with the gum. This classic 80s Juicy Fruit commercial is at the… Read more S2:E24 – Juicy Fruit Commercial

After our abysmal math performance in the recent Beverly Hills 90210 episode, listener muteKi suggested that we might need a refresher course in very basic arithmetic and submitted this episode of MathMan, a sketch from the educational PBS show Square One. MathMan is a beleaguered Pac-Man clone who must use his short time in this… Read more S2:E23 – MathMan: Multiples of 6

Dragon Ball Z seems to be bubbling its way up a lot lately. Maybe it’s nostalgia, maybe it’s the new show, or maybe it has something to do with the radical sequel to Nathaniel Hawthorne’s magnum opus: The Scarlet Letter Z. Before we get there, though, we’ve got to fulfill the destiny we created for… Read more S2:E22 – Dragon Ball Z TV Opening

Are you ready for a show bold enough to feature teens? What if I told you they lived in Beverly Hills? Also what if they were white? And like everyone else in the show was white too. Plus, teens. Are you down? Good. Because I’m gonna blow your mind. What if I told you all… Read more S2:E21 – Beverly Hills 90210 TV Opening

In the era before the Gameboy, video games on the go were really something special. In the waning years after Nintendo’s little gray brick, though? Ehhh, not so much. Tiger Electronics hawked these simple LCD games for years, years, acquiring such tantalizing licenses as Mega Man, Ninja Gaiden and Skyrim. Wait, maybe not that last… Read more S2:E20 – Tiger Electronics Mega Man 2 Commercial

When you can unhinge your jaws, shoot out your tongue to four feet in length and hang around with weird mutants on the playground, you only want to eat one thing: a packing peanut shaped like a paw and covered in neon cheese dust. Luckily for Frito-Lay, a subsidiary of PepsiCo and distributor of Cheetos… Read more S2:E19 – Cheetos Paws Commercial

Time was, Wizards of the Coast thought they might somehow break Magic: The Gathering out of its traditional nerd niche and into the cool coffee-drinking, Friends-watching, music-inventing crowds of the 90s. Through a series of commercials targeted at these socially desirable youths, Wizards wasted untold amounts of money and succeeded in doing little more than… Read more S2:E18 – Magic: The Gathering Commercial

What does it cost to save the princess in less than five minutes? How many lives must be destroyed? Must the very rules of nature be bent? Can the universe even continue to exist in a single piece? For Darbian, those answers were “some practice, none, no and almost certainly.” Our answers, though? Dramatically different.… Read more S2:E17 – Darbian’s Super Mario Brothers Speedrun World Record

Just in time for Christmas, we unwrap the past and take a look at one of the most infamous “event” video games ever: E.T. for the Atari 2600. Produced in such enormous quantities that even its disposal is legendary, E.T. also had a pretty sweet, if somewhat terrifying in its implications, commercial to drive sales… Read more S2:E16 – E.T. Atari Christmas Commercial

ThunderCats! There’s thunder! And cats! And…mummies I guess? Surprising everyone, including ourselves, we have just no recollection of what happens in the ThunderCats cartoon. As 30-something dudes on the internet, consider us sufficiently shamed. Aaron Littleton is your host for this episode and chooses the ThunderCats opening theme as the video to watch on loop.… Read more S2:E15 – ThunderCats TV Opening

When the fast food wars have worn you down with endless attrition and your coffers have run dry, there’s little do to but turn to…less ethical methods of selling your products. Like hypnotic suggestion in your commercials for ice cream. Yeah Carvel, we see through your game. John Hurst is your host for this episode… Read more S2:E14 – Carvel Commercial

What happens if you look into space without a vacuum or a space suit? It looks EXACTLY like  the Regal Cinema Feature Presentation Reel. Yes, even with the corporate sponsorships. Find out why on this week’s Video Death Loop! Aaron Littleton hosts this week, staring into the cosmic veneer of a popcorn kernel while John… Read more S2:E13 – Regal Cinemas Roller Coaster

Listen, when you’re a busy account executive at the biggest advertising firm in the city, you haven’t got time to do things like research. Or care. Especially when it’s for an ad for one of those “video games” your kid keeps talking about. You take a look at the artwork the client sent over, throw… Read more S2:E12 – Final Fantasy III Commercial

So much Star Wars is happening around us. As I’m typing up this post, we literally got an announcement that Rian Johnson is directing a brand new trilogy of Star Wars related films. That’s crazy! Especially when considering that just a short hop ago, we were yearning for any news on a hot little Star… Read more S2:E11 – Yum! Brands Star Wars Episode I Commercial

What if you only kind of liked your dog? What if you worshiped a horse? What if you hated cooking and/or shopping and/or Imagine Dragons? We ask these questions but dare not answer them with any kind of authority while watching the classic Chuck Wagon Dog Food Commercial. After all, who are we to speak… Read more S2:E10 – Chuck Wagon Dog Food Commercial

It’s a warped world, and you’re about to take a dip in the most liquid of operating systems! IBM’s ill-fated alternative OS from the 90s had seemingly dozens of commercials, but we have chosen one of them to watch until our minds melt. Starring a line up of musicians, old ladies and Gabe Newell, this… Read more S2:E9 – OS/2 Warp Commercial

Before JT was JT, before Joey was Lance and before Lance was a home renovator with a penchant for kitchens, there was NSYNC. Now that we stand deep in the post boy band (PBB) era, it can be hard to recall the sway these heartthrobs held over pop culture, but truly they were titans of… Read more S2:E8 – NSYNC – Bye Bye Bye Music Video

What if…you played video games? The Ctrl + Alt + Del cartoon sets out to ask that heady question and precious little else. The answer it comes up with is a distressing mixture of self-congratulation and homicidal rage under a thin veneer of us-versus-them superiority, so it basically succeeds in its task. To truly let… Read more S2:E7 – Ctrl + Alt + Del Cartoon at Half Speed

Following the wild success of Home Alone, it was inevitable that its precocious star would be bestowed with that most precious of gifts: his own poorly thought-out Saturday morning cartoon. Alas, Macaulay Culkin’s Wish Kid was doomed to a single, quickly irrelevant season forgotten by almost everyone apart from the odd Buzzfeed listicle writer and,… Read more S2:E6 – Wish Kid TV Opening

Visit beautiful David Lynchville! A murder happened here once! But it’s okay, because that’s just the beginning of our troubles in Lynchville! Why, all our sawmills seem to whisper in calming, echoing ambient tones, luring the people of the town into watching a series of short pan shots of our totally unassuming and not weird… Read more S2:E5 – Twin Peaks TV Opening

Achy Breaky 2 is the nadir of popular culture. I would say that western culture alone needs to own this, but when the aliens come with their singular DJ and their death rays, they will not discriminate based on the lines we draw on a map. They will simply process all of digitized culture in… Read more S2:E4 – Buck 22 (w/ Billy Ray Cyrus) – Achy Breaky 2 Music Video

Everyone, let us remember the simpler times. The times of the 90s. Where the only things we worried about were Dinosaur Movies and knockoffs and sequels, Volcano movies and knockoffs and sequels and Asteroid movies and knockoffs and sequels! We worried about movies a lot guys. They were big! And full of knockoffs! And sequels!… Read more S2:E3 – Deep Impact Trailer

By listener request, we’re suffering through a seemingly endless loop of the retro My Buddy commercials. According to John, My Buddy was created to teach young boys empathy, but considering the correlation between the endless parade of flaxen-haired tots in this 80s commercial and the resurgence of actual friggin’ Nazis in our horrible modern times,… Read more S2:E2 – My Buddy Commercial

We’re back, everyone! Season 2 gets started off right with the classic DuckTales TV opening. Sure, DuckTales may be in the middle of a reboot, but we’re weird old man who want to think about our own childhoods, damn it! This is retro DuckTales with the wrong coat color Scrooge McDuck and not a hint… Read more S2:E1 – DuckTales TV Opening

We’re in our new podcast studio location! We’re testing stuff out! We’re sending our interns out to get various things they don’t quite understand, like the contents of a Petro! What’s in a Petro? Find out in this episode! Also, did we mention new podcast office slash studio? Oh snap! Please stay tuned for new… Read more Intermission 3 – Intern Saga

Guys we’ve still not started Season 2 so here’s another one of these intermission episodes! We’re talking about DC and why its entire output is terrible except for maybe some Batman! We untangle an impenetrable and poorly crafted timeline plus we discuss our actual progress to releasing new actual episodes of Video Death Loop actually.… Read more Intermission 2 – Some Batman is OK

Hey everyone! Video Death Loop is still in between seasons, but we wanted to give you an update on how everything is going! One could say it’s a loop of some sorts, if you consider the typical conversation between Aaron and John a loop. It takes us mere moments to lose focus on the bigger… Read more Intermission 1 – Saving the Economy, One Shed at a Time

The first video uploaded to YouTube was on April 23, 2005. You can watch it here. The latest video uploaded to YouTube was whenever you read this sentence, give or take a breath. In Aaron’s case, it was a commercial for an Italian company offering “Tooth Gem” installations on one’s teeth. I tried to find… Read more S1:E39 – “Me At The Zoo” / Italian Tooth Gem Commercial [Season Finale!]

When you’re a player on any major team, you’re expected to do your fair share of local commercials. It’s a badge of honor, in fact! Being a part of the community– usually through an awkward combination of car commercials and Salsarita meetups– is just how you do things! But only one man has the power… Read more S1:E38 – Bronson Arroyo Ford Commercial

Short shorts! Car stunts! Problematic themes! Yes, The Dukes of Hazzard is an interesting show to think about in 2017. TV legends in their own day, and endlessly referenced and parodied in the subsequent four decades, time has recently been less kind to the eponymous duo. Yup, it looks like them Duke Boys are in… Read more S1:E37 – The Dukes of Hazzard TV Opening

In the world of wrestling, appearance is everything. You have to look intimidating. Look strong. Look fast. Look commercial if you’re certain wrestlers that keep getting pushed despite fan reaction. You need the whole package. But what happens when the package unravels itself at your door step and the UPS man gives up and just… Read more S1:E36 – WCW – The Shockmaster’s Introduction

No matter how much you try to act like you’re in the movie Goodfellas, you’re just going to look like a color-coordinated bowling team. It’s Pawn Stars! Let’s sell things off screen and then try to find a plot to film before everyone clocks out at five, okay? Aaron Littleton is your host this week,… Read more S1:E35 – Pawn Stars Season 1 Opening

It’s back to the ancient internet this week with a Japanese Chu Chu Rocket commercial, possibly made at 3 AM before the commercial was due for broadcast! It’ll take longer to read this than to watch the commercial! Loop it for yourself! And then come back as we reveal the truth behind the future of… Read more S1:E34 – Chu Chu Rocket Commercial

Sometimes you just need to express your angst in the only way possible: By editing together anime music videos to Linkin Park music and putting it up on the internet for all to see. We’ve all been there. One moment you’re browsing through MySpace confused by all these new emotions and the next moment you’re… Read more S1:E33 – Rurouni Kenshin/Samurai X Anime Music Video (“Crawling” by Linkin Park)

Guys, it’s the Air Bud movie trailer. If us talking about the trailer to a movie where a dog performs feats many humans cannot do in a celebrated sport does not entice you, I don’t know what else we can do! The dog uses middle school rulebook loopholes and a vast disregard for our entire… Read more S1:E32 – Air Bud Movie Trailer

Who just picks up a wrapped Subway sub from the catering table without even checking what it is?! Cimorelli does! And they apparently prefer it that way! What if it’s a non-standard sub,  Cimorelli? Like perhaps the Frito Chicken Enchilada Melt? Can they take the power within that extra crunch? Or will it remind them… Read more S1:E31 – Subway Commercial feat CIMORELLI

When you are wounded, the worst thing in the world to hear is the sound of a predator on the prowl.  Your home is in disarray. Your kitchen is in terrible shape from a botched counter job. You sweat. You don’t have much time. It must be complete before nightfall or you– No. You hear… Read more S1:E30 – Home Improvement TV Opening

How do you get used to a new job? Do you go all in? Do you try to get a lay of the land? Maybe you try keeping up appearances (Not the show) for perfect strangers (also not the show) in hopes to keep the job for long enough or even to make friends (definitely… Read more S1:E29 – Mr. Belvedere TV Opening

EXTREME! EXTREME! EXTREMEEEE DINOSAUUURRSS! Listen to that theme while riding on your BMX bike and you might turn into a dinosaur too! Feel that hard rock thunder! It was a rough life for a mutated team of humanoid animals in the late 80s/early 90s. Practically every city tried to have one, set aside like a… Read more S1:E28 – Extreme Dinosaurs TV Opening

X-Men! Welcome! To Podcast! The 90s X-Men cartoon is the defining point of what X-Men is to the Video Death Loop crew and that opening is no small part to do with it. But how well does it handle being on loop? Can we sit idle as Cyclops screams, red lasers pointed to the sky?… Read more S1:E27 – X-Men Cartoon Opening

Yeah yeah yeah! Wow! Yeah yeah yeahhhh, WOW! From the first few seconds of the Japanese Spider-Man opening from Toei, we know we’re dealing with a different type of spider beast. He looks like Spider-Man! He fights (sorta) like Spider-Man! He even rides of motorcycle like Spider-Man (If Peter Parker could afford a motorcycle.) But… Read more S1:E26 – Toei Japan’s Spiderman TV Opening

BIG WARNING: The video version of this week’s episode is incredibly NSFW. The audio version is less so, but we are talking about graphic things, so be advised. It is definitely not safe for horses. Be warned! When you begin a new year, you want to start it out right. It’s a clean slate! You think… Read more S1:E25 – Henderson Equine Castration Instrument Infomercial [NSFW]

Download Link Have you ever wanted the same movie again, but this time in a bigger area? Then, Home Alone 2: Lost in New York has what you need! Chris Columbus and John Hughes conspire together to make more money by repeating all the beats of the first movie, but in a slighly remixed manner.… Read more S1:E24 – Home Alone 2: Lost in New York Trailer (w/ Shane Rhyne and Tyler Sonnichsen) – LIVE!

  Now that Virtual Reality can potentially be found in the average consumer’s home, has anyone told you about the dangers of it? Maybe you’ll wake up one day to find out your father (Who conveniently invented VR) has vanished and you’ll need to stumble upon his lab. Maybe you’ll be forced to fight alongside… Read more S1:E23 – VR Troopers Theme Song

No, seriously. That’s what we looped this week. Jesus Christ. Aaron, what have you done. The header tag is extremely related, I promise you. Aaron Littleton hosts this week while John Hurst co-hosts and is very sleepy, perhaps trying to escape this nightmarish hell world into something more palpable, like Wild ARMs. Download Link Write… Read more S1:E22 – Sony Playstation Startup Screen

Where were you when KISS took off their makeup? You may not have even been born yet and thus it doesn’t affect you that much. That’s okay! But just like in the history books, we all have to learn about the deadly repercussions of our actions or else we are doomed to repeat them. Such… Read more S1:E21 – “Lick It Up” by KISS Music Video

If you have ever looked at David Hasslehoff and gone “You know what? There’s too much day going on all around him. Why can’t I get my Hasslehoff on at NIGHT instead?” then I have some good news for you: You can! With Baywatch Nights! To celebrate our 20th episode and almost a dozen of… Read more S1:E20 – Baywatch Nights

You probably don’t want your mom listening to this episode of Video Death Loop, especially if your mom is a fan of shows that ran on Fox! In celebration of Pokemon Sun and Moon coming out this week, we of the Video Death Loop consortium look back at the first Pokemon anime theme, forcing it… Read more S1:E19 – Pokemon Theme Song

  After a tumultuous week for politics in America, let’s settle down to a simpler, much calmer time with former Alaskan senator Mike Gravel! A time where a man only had to have a rock to make a potential point that may or may not be symbolism for something else entirely. Sink in deeply into… Read more S1:E18 – Mike Gravel – Rock

Why would Godzilla give a device that summons him to a bunch of ungrateful jerks on a boat? Who is Godzooky and does he have anything to do with Godzilla’s distant cousin Vapezilla? Nothing about this makes sense! John Hurst is 30 stories high and chooses the 1978 animated Godzilla theme song as our video… Read more S1:E17 – Godzilla Theme Song

The politics of the Mushroom Kingdom intertwine inexorably with the Super Mario Brothers’ Brooklyn microbrewery in the Super Mario Brothers Super Show! How this show managed to sell the children of the early 90s on video game systems and cereal is beyond us. Aaron Littleton hosts and punches the question block of The Super Mario… Read more S1:E16 – The Super Mario Brothers Super Show Theme Song

Young Clarissa’s life is fraught with chaos and the unexplained. A fragile soul, Clarissa begins to catalog her experiences to the shadowy nether beings that lurk around her. That’s…that’s what Clarissa Explains It All was about right? John Hurst is way cool and hosts while selecting the Clarissa Explains It All theme song as our… Read more S1:E15 – Clarissa Explains It All Theme Song

In the quaint and sleepy town of Stars Hollow, a sleepy and quaint town in the forests of Connecticut, things are as quaint as can be. That includes the eponymous Gilmore Girls, a positively quaint mother/daughter duo that just can’t get enough of the coffee from Luke’s Diner. Whether they’re working at a quaint bed… Read more S1:E14 – Gilmore Girls Theme Song

This commercial ran for a decade but watching it on loop felt significantly longer. Whatchamacallit is a candy bar or a philosophy or perhaps even rain but this commercial is not going to tell you. Just buy one and eat it. Or think about it. Or, like, realign the electrons in your shoes with it.… Read more S1:E13 – Whatchamacallit Commercial

In some vaguely European city masquerading as the United States, a flaxen haired youth is blocked by a businessman in a car. Tapping the power of an ancient spirit, this bug-eyed young man breaks the laws of God and man to make things right! Yes, it’s just your average, everyday ad for Mentos. Aaron Littleton… Read more S1:E12 – Mentos Commercial

In the 1800s, in a small town called Shady Grove, a religion was accidentally founded that swept the world by storm. How this affects a small Californian high school in the early 90s says a lot about all of us. Well, us anyway. Opportunity knocks for Mark Paul Gosselaar and a deep schism emerges! John Hurst… Read more S1:E11 – Saved by the Bell Theme Song

Texas Ranger Sgt. Cordell Walker may be a repository of ancient Native American lore, kung fu skills and Old West justice, but his one true nemesis and greatest failure lies within the boundary of Texas itself! I don’t mean to be offensive here, but we find out what happens between seasons of the show as… Read more S1:E10 – Walker Texas Ranger Theme Song

Daytona! Let’s go away! (Let’s go away!) Have such simple lyrics ever gotten so much play as Daytona USA’s minimalist attract mode song? Honestly, watching this was really not very different than wasting away one’s youth in a late-90s era arcade, which if you couldn’t tell from this podcast, we certainly did. Slip into that… Read more S1:E9 – Daytona USA Attract Mode

“When pizza’s on a bagel, you can have pizza any time.” Sure, we all know that’s true, but the question to ask is: why? We dig deep into the intricate lore surrounding the infamous Bagel Bites theme song and find out how it all relates to soda revivalism and modern American politics. Aaron Littleton hosts… Read more S1:E8 – Bagel Bites Commercial

As the movie says, a lot can happen in two years. Or in our case, an hour that feels more like two years. Carrie or Samantha or Dr. Somebody (we’re never really sure who) are back for the victory lap they probably deserved but wasn’t really necessary and we’ve got to sit through the trailer… Read more S1:E7 – Sex and the City 2 Trailer

It’ll make your head spin! It’s the latest episode of Video Death Loop and it’s all about those iconic computer commercials that launched a thousand digital ships into the morass that was the internet. Dude, you’re getting a Dell! While there are so many of these commercials that even a boss Pentium II processor would… Read more S1:E6 – Dude, You’re Getting a Dell Commercial

She will never turn her back on a friend, she is always there to defend, she is the one on who we can de-pend, she is the subject of our latest episode of Video Death Loop! Wait, that doesn’t even rhyme. It hardly matters though, as our minds were so devastated by the latest video… Read more S1:E5 – Sailor Moon Theme Song

It’s another episode of Video Death Loop to be caught up in! This time, Aaron brings a hefty helping of 90s nostalgia in the form of leather jackets and cheap board game pieces! Milton Bradley’s Crossfire is defined on wikipedia states “The American commercial campaign for this product featured a compelling battle between two young… Read more S1:E4 – Crossfire Board Game Commercial

Episode 3 has arrived, and so have the Golden Girls! John makes Aaron watch the Golden Girls Theme (Short version!) on loop, where they learn truly how thankful the Golden Girls are for being friends with one another. Also, a secret World War II mission exposed! With Nazis and everything! Host for this week is… Read more S1:E3 – The Golden Girls Theme Song

It’s Episode 2 of Video Death Loop! This time Aaron picks the video and John immediately begins to curse. We find out about the kind of powers you can gain from the Grand Canyon plus time itself is in the balance! Host for this week is Aaron Littleton, with John Hurst as the unsuspecting co-host.… Read more S1:E2 – John Cena Titantron

Welcome to Video Death Loop, a podcast where two friends watch a short video clip on repeat until they just can’t take it anymore! Listen and laugh as their sanity deteriorates with each consecutive loop. New episodes drop every Friday, with the alternating host choosing and surprising the co-host with a new clip each time.… Read more S1:E1 – Family Matters Theme Song