Hello, we are Greg & Craig. We talk about lettuce. Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/lettuceguys/support
We Walked We Talked We Ate Pie
Two men walk into a Denny's...
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10/21/2024 • 44 minutes
Jack Nicholson Will Have the Pancakes
Greg invaded Craig's house for this one.
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10/13/2024 • 48 minutes, 7 seconds
How To Avoid The Sadness
Craig will be joining shortly, unfortunately.
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10/6/2024 • 44 minutes, 51 seconds
Never Pay a Lawyer to Tie Your Shoes
Get ready for some specificity!
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9/29/2024 • 45 minutes, 2 seconds
Lomo Saltado Isn't Mentioned Until the Very End
And at the beginning Greg talks like a normal person.
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9/22/2024 • 45 minutes, 4 seconds
Sometimes People Sprout Oranges
WARNING: This episode has trivia!
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9/15/2024 • 43 minutes, 31 seconds
Acronyms-a-Plenty!
That's DEFINITELY Craig's face at the beginning. DEFINITELY!
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9/8/2024 • 46 minutes, 10 seconds
An Open-Faced Sandwich is an Incomplete Sandwich
This episode is DEFINITELY introduced by Greg Benson. DEFINITELY!
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9/1/2024 • 44 minutes, 50 seconds
How to Have Conversations at Parties
We make food for you to eat!
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8/25/2024 • 47 minutes, 5 seconds
A Recipe For Disaster
In which Greg reveals he's never listened to a podcast.
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8/18/2024 • 45 minutes, 27 seconds
Top 6 1/2 tips for how to have better sleeping habits for sleep
FINALLY some useful information!
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8/11/2024 • 48 minutes, 31 seconds
Christmas Prostitutes
On a walk through the neighborhood, Greg tells a horrifying tale of youthful idiocy.
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8/4/2024 • 42 minutes, 59 seconds
You Might Be a Furry If
Unfortunately, Craig will not make it today. :(
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7/28/2024 • 46 minutes, 9 seconds
Fart Parts
Word of the day: "tahini" -- Will Craig say it?
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7/21/2024 • 46 minutes, 24 seconds
Jennifer Aniston's Stabbin' Pencils
It's time for Lettuce 101. A new class in which you learn things!
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7/15/2024 • 45 minutes, 6 seconds
100th Episode Spectacular!
I can't believe we're still doing this.
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7/7/2024 • 52 minutes, 21 seconds
Three Ways to Cure a Hangnail
and 1 way to cure your heart... (by listening to this episode and all our episodes)
---
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5/26/2024 • 47 minutes, 6 seconds
Facts About Laundry That Might Surprise You!
either that or they won't. One of those two.
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5/19/2024 • 48 minutes, 14 seconds
How to Sell a Baby on eBay
Greg knows everything, doesn't he?
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5/12/2024 • 45 minutes, 18 seconds
Craig Gets Hit By a Car
It really happened, in a way
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5/5/2024 • 45 minutes, 33 seconds
Here's the Thing
It's time for Two Guys Talking About Ladies!
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4/21/2024 • 45 minutes, 28 seconds
How to Make a Horse Eat Lasagna
But you can't lead it to water.
---
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4/14/2024 • 44 minutes, 26 seconds
Always Apologize to Your Waitress
But really, Craig thinks it's more situational.
---
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4/7/2024 • 46 minutes, 46 seconds
Mundane Plumbing Discussion
Greg seems to always have a lot of plumbing problems. Keep it moving, Greg!
---
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3/17/2024 • 45 minutes, 11 seconds
Let's Smell the Microphone!
Today Greg talks about his ridiculous Amazon delivery mixup. Like VERRRRRY ridiculous.
---
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3/10/2024 • 46 minutes, 54 seconds
The $1000 Episode
Apologies for Craig being quiet. It's entirely Greg's fault.
---
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3/3/2024 • 47 minutes, 34 seconds
How To Get 5% Off
Greg finally figured out how you can reduce!
---
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2/25/2024 • 46 minutes, 45 seconds
How to Get Away with Murder
To be clear this is not about the TV show nor should this advice or any of our advice ever be followed.
---
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2/12/2024 • 52 minutes, 10 seconds
The Hoity-Toity Hoi Polloi Episode
Craig actually prepared this time!
---
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2/4/2024 • 48 minutes, 6 seconds
Craig is Sleepy AND Craig is Sleepy
zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz
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1/28/2024 • 38 minutes, 10 seconds
Top Ten New Years Resolutions
It's that time of year, folks, that time when we try to do something and be somebody better than last year. Last year us sucked! This year we'll suck less!
---
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1/14/2024 • 48 minutes, 7 seconds
Christopher Nolan's Tote Bag Extravaganza
Finally, we answer the question about Christopher Nolan's tote bag.
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12/24/2023 • 46 minutes, 52 seconds
The Very Silly Then Very Serious Episode
Watch out! It gets serious. (we also actually cut out a part due to seriousness)
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12/17/2023 • 42 minutes, 13 seconds
Craig Has Too Many Rhyming Rules
Hey really doesn't. (this description written by Craig)
---
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12/10/2023 • 45 minutes, 28 seconds
Craig's Funniest Episode
He was SO funny he barely remembers doing it!
---
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12/3/2023 • 45 minutes, 53 seconds
Leaf Blower Trauma
In this incredibly helpful episode Craig discusses time saving tips.
---
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11/26/2023 • 47 minutes, 11 seconds
How to Placate a Violent Raccoon
Craig is going through a compost bin/raccoon fiasco. Greg provides helpful anecdotes about his raccoon cosplaying neighbor.
---
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11/19/2023 • 47 minutes, 36 seconds
The Beatles New Song & Rare Studio Chatter
All ya need is... Greg and Craig
---
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11/13/2023 • 48 minutes, 16 seconds
No Surprises Whatsoever
Craig and Greg went through a few identity crises during this episode.
---
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11/5/2023 • 48 minutes, 55 seconds
Do Not Smear Eye Cream on Your Saxophone
Just don't!
---
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10/29/2023 • 49 minutes, 20 seconds
Craig Shaves His Beard
In which Craig lists his current video challenges he's doing and Greg shares his true feelings about Applebee's.
---
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10/22/2023 • 45 minutes, 50 seconds
The Darkest Podcast Episode in History
We turned the lights off for this one so Greg could reveal his true feelings, or something.
---
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10/8/2023 • 49 minutes, 51 seconds
It's Better to be Moist Than Dry
Greg talks through his problem with meeting conductors at birthday parties.
---
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10/1/2023 • 48 minutes, 6 seconds
Please Do Not Bring Your Bowling Balls to Starbucks
In which has random thoughts and topics of conversation, believe it or not.
---
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9/24/2023 • 48 minutes, 7 seconds
Craig Admits He's Racist
He means in the sense that we're ALL racist. Come on, guys!
---
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9/17/2023 • 48 minutes, 56 seconds
What Happened to Lady Gaga's Meat Dress?
We actually did research!
---
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9/10/2023 • 50 minutes
Labor Day Special
Happy Labor Day everybody. We sincerely hope the whole birthing process goes smoothly.
---
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9/4/2023 • 45 minutes, 59 seconds
Craig & Greg Swap Places
Also, this episode is NOT suitable for children, as opposed to all our other episodes which are basically Sesame Street.
---
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8/20/2023 • 50 minutes, 22 seconds
Adele's Famous Meat Muffins
In which Greg reveals his excellent Armenian accent.
---
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8/13/2023 • 51 minutes, 44 seconds
Craig Shaves a Cat
Craig actually performs a song!
---
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8/6/2023 • 49 minutes, 30 seconds
There Are No TVs in Wisconsin
Greg and Craig are together IRL for the first time ever (since last time)!
Yes, we have a Patreon!
Yes, we have a YouTube!
Greg Twitter
Craig Twitter
---
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7/30/2023 • 49 minutes, 53 seconds
Real People Being Real
Greg and Craig are together IRL for the first time ever (since last time)!
Yes, we have a Patreon!
Yes, we have a YouTube!
Greg Twitter
Craig Twitter
---
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7/23/2023 • 45 minutes, 28 seconds
Two Guys Walking About Lettuce
Our very first (of hopefully thousands of) walk and talk(s)!!!
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Yes, we have a YouTube!
Greg Twitter
Craig Twitter
---
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7/16/2023 • 45 minutes, 15 seconds
Vermont is Full of Derelicts
Greg does impressions!
Yes, we have a Patreon!
Yes, we have a YouTube!
Greg Twitter
Craig Twitter
---
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7/9/2023 • 52 minutes, 6 seconds
FAX to the MAX!
Greg describes why he doesn't want to live forever.
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Greg Twitter
Craig Twitter
---
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7/2/2023 • 47 minutes, 18 seconds
Genuine Excitement
__________________________
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Greg Twitter
Craig Twitter
---
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6/25/2023 • 45 minutes, 32 seconds
Moist People
Join us as Greg shares his hydration wisdom!
__________________________
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Greg Twitter
Craig Twitter
---
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6/18/2023 • 45 minutes, 54 seconds
Kirk Cameron is Possessed by Satan
Yikes, this week, through unhinged rambling, we stumble upon some important falsehoods.
__________________________
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Greg Twitter
Craig Twitter
---
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6/11/2023 • 45 minutes, 32 seconds
Special Guest GREG BENSON!
This is a very special episode with a special guest! We delve DEEP into what makes the great Greg Benson tick. And I got news for ya, it ain't a clock, ya know what I'm saying? I don't.
__________________________
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Yes, we have a YouTube!
Greg Twitter
Craig Twitter
---
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6/4/2023 • 48 minutes, 41 seconds
Special Guest CRAIG BENZINE!
This is a very special episode with a special guest! We delve DEEP into what makes the great Craig Benzine tick. And I got news for ya, it ain't a clock, ya know what I'm saying? I don't.__________________________
Yes, we have a Patreon!
Yes, we have a YouTube!
Greg Twitter
Craig Twitter
---
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5/28/2023 • 47 minutes, 40 seconds
A Population of Humans
In which Greg solves the homeless crisis.
---
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5/21/2023 • 48 minutes, 53 seconds
What's the Best On Screen Death?
Today Greg and Craig talk about their favorite onscreen deaths! :)
__________________________
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Greg Twitter
Craig Twitter
---
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5/14/2023 • 49 minutes, 44 seconds
Craig Really Doesn't Think This Should be an Episode
cuz we're both drunk, but Greg is especially drunk. Also, we did this one live on Twitch, which will very quickly be apparent.
__________________________
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Greg Twitter
Craig Twitter
---
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5/7/2023 • 48 minutes, 38 seconds
The Will Ferrell Episode
It's very exciting to finally be doing the Will Ferrell episode in which Will Ferrell does not appear at all!
__________________________
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Greg Twitter
Craig Twitter
---
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4/30/2023 • 50 minutes, 42 seconds
A Special Kind of Derek
In which Craig describes a special kind of jerk who calls people random names before they ask them to do something.
Also, thanks only to Brian.
__________________________
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Greg Twitter
Craig Twitter
---
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4/23/2023 • 46 minutes, 15 seconds
How to Stop a Bear Attack
We're back after a brief hiatus to share with you all the ways to protect yourself from a bear attack! The world needs this information!
__________________________
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Greg Twitter
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---
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4/16/2023 • 46 minutes, 14 seconds
I Was a Little Man Whore
Craig tries to remain positive throughout this episode. And that's not that hard because Greg is blowing up in Hollywood! (and I don't mean in a TNT way, but who knows what the future holds!)
__________________________
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Greg Twitter
Craig Twitter
---
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3/26/2023 • 52 minutes, 28 seconds
The Religion and Politics Episode
In today's episode, Greg reveals an ingenious new revenue stream that ANYONE can create. Also this episode has nothing to do with religion or politics.
__________________________
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Yes, we have a YouTube!
Greg Twitter
Craig Twitter
---
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3/19/2023 • 47 minutes, 49 seconds
Best Episode Ever!
Today, Greg and Craig discuss fun conversation starters. Turns out, it's the best episode ever.
__________________________
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Greg Twitter
Craig Twitter
---
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3/12/2023 • 50 minutes, 4 seconds
Optimist Prime
In which Greg tells everyone his son's brilliant joke! And Craig worries about raising his daughter in a scary, streaming entertainment world.
__________________________
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Greg Twitter
Craig Twitter
---
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3/5/2023 • 45 minutes, 12 seconds
Huge Clown Pants
In today's episode find out which guy forgets that David Bowie died. And they discuss their top 5 movies of all time.
__________________________
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Greg Twitter
Craig Twitter
---
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2/26/2023 • 46 minutes, 59 seconds
43 - Bend Over Mr. President
In today's episode, Craig has an EXTREMELY humbling experience.
__________________________
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Greg Twitter
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---
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2/19/2023 • 47 minutes, 55 seconds
42 - Garbanzo Beans
In which,
-Craig gives his worst reaction ever to something Greg said
-Greg is really fresh
-Greg reveals his internal beard
-Greg actually has "lettuce news"
-Dog!
-Craig makes sense out of Garbanzo Beans
-Greg goes to Womanitoba
-They reminisce about a trip to Australia that didn't happen
-Greg attempts impressions
-Craig attempts impressions
__________________________
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Greg Twitter
Craig Twitter
---
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2/12/2023 • 48 minutes, 2 seconds
41 - Bonjour Bitches!
Today Greg and Craig discuss how awesome they are at being dads and how Greg no longer has a 6-year-old son.
And Greg does a New Jersey accent far too much.
__________________________
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Greg Twitter
Craig Twitter
---
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2/5/2023 • 45 minutes, 50 seconds
40 - The Untitled Episode
Greg discovers his new catch phrase! (which was actually his catch phrase all along?)
And he reveals how you could('ve) earn(ed) millions of dollars! Also, he's apparently a billionaire.
Craig is just skeptical of all of this, as usual.
__________________________
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Greg Twitter
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---
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1/29/2023 • 42 minutes, 30 seconds
39 - Whore Dog
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Greg Twitter
Craig Twitter
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1/22/2023 • 45 minutes, 53 seconds
38 - The Fancy Episode
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Greg Twitter
Craig Twitter
---
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1/15/2023 • 50 minutes, 19 seconds
Crotch Mug
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Greg Twitter
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1/8/2023 • 47 minutes, 48 seconds
Let's Talk About Elon Musk
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Greg Twitter
Craig Twitter
---
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1/1/2023 • 43 minutes, 47 seconds
Craig Came Up With This Title
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Greg Twitter
Craig Twitter
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12/25/2022 • 45 minutes, 55 seconds
Genius Penius
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12/18/2022 • 45 minutes, 18 seconds
The Title Doesn't Matter
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12/11/2022 • 50 minutes, 59 seconds
You Can't Build Houses After You Die
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Greg Twitter
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12/4/2022 • 47 minutes, 49 seconds
Toddlers Don't Exist
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Greg Twitter
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11/27/2022 • 48 minutes, 3 seconds
The Creamed Cornversation
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11/20/2022 • 46 minutes, 7 seconds
Joke Book Store
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Greg Twitter
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---
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11/13/2022 • 50 minutes, 3 seconds
All Lettuce All The Time
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Greg Twitter
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11/6/2022 • 44 minutes, 30 seconds
Anything Can Explode If You Try Hard Enough
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Greg Twitter
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---
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10/30/2022 • 45 minutes, 7 seconds
A Lot of People Love Beer starring Kim Kardashian Taylor Swift & Ethereum Crypto
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Greg Twitter
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---
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10/23/2022 • 49 minutes, 42 seconds
Joyce DeWitt
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Greg Twitter
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10/16/2022 • 36 minutes, 15 seconds
Time to Administer Panic!
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Greg Twitter
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---
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10/9/2022 • 40 minutes, 20 seconds
Pope House
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10/2/2022 • 49 minutes
Covid Comedy Caravan
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Greg Twitter
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---
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9/25/2022 • 41 minutes, 17 seconds
Prepare to Be Disappointed
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Greg Twitter
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---
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9/18/2022 • 46 minutes, 21 seconds
More People Should Smoke
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Greg Twitter
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---
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9/11/2022 • 47 minutes, 19 seconds
The One with a Horrible Ending
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Greg Twitter
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---
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9/4/2022 • 51 minutes, 13 seconds
Anything But Hank (but actually, yes, Hank)
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Greg Twitter
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---
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8/28/2022 • 44 minutes, 12 seconds
Universally Nothing
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8/21/2022 • 44 minutes, 2 seconds
Jonas Salk and Also Jonas Salk
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8/14/2022 • 48 minutes, 37 seconds
Burger King Foot Lettuce
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Greg Twitter
Craig Twitter
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8/7/2022 • 48 minutes, 59 seconds
Boxcar Willie: America's Favorite Hobo
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Greg Twitter
Craig Twitter
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Support this podcast: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/lettuceguys/support
7/31/2022 • 47 minutes, 40 seconds
The Live Episode
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Greg Twitter
Craig Twitter
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7/24/2022 • 39 minutes, 27 seconds
Yes, And Orange Juice
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Greg Twitter
Craig Twitter
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Support this podcast: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/lettuceguys/support
7/17/2022 • 37 minutes, 37 seconds
Brouhaha Comedy Beer
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Greg Twitter
Craig Twitter
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Support this podcast: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/lettuceguys/support
7/10/2022 • 44 minutes, 58 seconds
Do Not Microwave Your Cat
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Yes, we have a YouTube!
Greg Twitter
Craig Twitter
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Support this podcast: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/lettuceguys/support