Brought to you by Bundaberg: ginger beer that won’t blow your back out. It’s AAPI history month, probably.

Happy Pride Month from the Chinese Communist Party. It’s Gray-ace Under Fire. R.I.P. to the Mariano Rivera of serial killers.

I’m here for a Whose Line not a long time. Robin Williams is STILL not in the Baseball Hall of Fame.

The thrilling conclusion to the timely 2023 awards. We try to be fair when we’re being mean to women.

It’s Habsburgs vs. McCoys in an explosive awards episode. Brought to you by Mrs. Mr. Yamaguchi.

Sorry for the delay, we were suffering from the Jeffrey Epstein-Roseanne Barr Virus. But it’s nothing Ken “Third Degree” Burns can’t fix.

The one day a year it’s not Scott’s birthday

Welcome to The Cronenberg Hour. The big 3 Italian actors: Pacino, De Niro, Benigni. In bunny years, she’s definitely legal.

Congratulations to black icon Cody Raheem Rhodes. The Usos continue to confound me. Beware the Trash Compactor. With special guest Kelly.

Let’s hear from drunk child actor Drew Barrymore and famous coprophage Neil Diamond. Ron place, Ron time.

Moms weigh in on gold vs. platinum stars. The Demon is transphobic. Possession is ten tenths of the law.

Shane vs. Stephanie: Brother vs. Brother. Our Manscaped rep was in the Amazon with my mom researching spiders just before she died.

Huckleberry Hudson. I’ve never wanted to see a ram’s ass more in my life.

Portugal: the real heroes. Kangaroos do it missionary. Too many wet chicken related injuries. A list of the dumbest dogs. Peaches N. Crème.

The podcast in which Drew names the entire cast of Sorority Boys from memory. They should have sent a poet. Gay Pool. Barry Bonds is the Socrates of…

I’m not an idiot, Drew, I’m writing down “Boss Foal.” Careful with the Jerkskin.

FPMITAP. Which one of us is Pavarotti?

Taylor Swift endorses Jill Stein. Brandi Chastitycage and the Al Capone of…

I’m the hero. Ying Yang Twins, DNR?

Trans Link vs. Chairman Meow

Black Women Talking vs. America’s Most Molested

Sir Topham Bottom’s symposium on Unintelligent Design. We found a Tertiary Solution.

Who will not shave de moustache? Ernest goes to wrestling.

Got some real PRDPs in this one. And adult ponies.

The many benefits of owning Caligula. He who denied it supplied it.

Remember to kiss your dad this Christmas.

From Arthur B. Arthur to Rutherford B. Gay, it’s ESPN’s 0 for 40.

Watch out for sideways giants. It’s the season of giving (brain).

I’m not gay, but if I was, I’d want equal rights. Wallace is cool again!

Get to know the REAL Jesse Eisenberg, as well as famous acting brothers Christopher and Jet Lee. Witches, historically, are scary.

Fool me once…

R.I.P. Omegle Man. Join Communist PayPal and stay tuned for the Guess Who Awards and “Why Is It Cake?” With special guests Pepper Coyote & Eve.

Do some Trig-onometry with the VP of CP. Nobody puts Lumen in a barrel.

Join Black Galifianakis and Cardi B. DeMille for a reading of Scott’s Dark Rules.

Who are the Hawaiians of the Middle East? Join us in the Great Emu War (and lose).

It’s a Latinx standoff! Maybe DON’T leave Britney alone.

They’re doing a Joker/Riddler! Tune in to WMLK and find out who the second best black Catwoman is.

Go ask L’asagna Ball why Drew’s audio is so much worse than mine when we were speaking into the same phone in a moving car. It’s not our problem.

We do it to blow off steam. Team The Guy, now and always.

Don’t be a naughty American. You’re in the no fly zone and the no spin cycle. Come listen to the herstory of Womanchester as we relitigate Baby v. Milk.

Worst September 11th ever

Dead wrestlers and Drew’s disgusting childhood.

A showing boy, not a growing boy. The sum of some fears.

They should do March Madness every two months. Clean out your C-gutters. Every day is Jumanji day. That’s load bearing blood.

BMF: Black Mafia Family. It’s baby stuff.

Baby jurl, when you Jag my Meet it makes me Singh. Hungry hungry Lizzo.

Hair bear countdown, we have special guest Matt on to find out if we are r/AmITheAsshole. That’s gotta be a win for you guys, right? MagiCK One.

Japan + ? = Japanophiles. Fresh off the wire from Pittsburgh. Bring on the Germanime.

Like bubbles through the +XP flavoured Coca-Cola, these are the days of our lives. Shout out to Nigerian hockey star Fa Afo.

It’s my birthday. I need presents. Give till I don’t hurt. And then get on the train to Tucson.

Happy 78th birthday to the greatest country in America. Shout out to people of all stars and stripes.

Live from Mount Cyanide Hospital, it’s Savage Steve Harvey. Beware Biclope. *Manscaped.com promo code CATS20*

The immovable force meets the immovable object. Is Armie Hammer a wendigo? Happy N-dependence Day. *Manscaped.com promo code CATS20*

Bonewall 6/28/69 *Manscaped.com promo code CATS20*

Bonewall 6/28/69 *Manscaped.com promo code CATS20*

My culture is not your costume. Support local, buy Amazon. *Manscaped.com promo code CATS20*

Let’s go back to pre-rock Palestine and visit the Grand Wizard of Luxembourg. Computer, show me smooth Gos. *Manscaped.com promo code CATS20*

Over so soon? Join us in the shadow room for some limpwristed flailing. We’re The Blackest Kids U Know. *Manscaped.com promo code CATS20*

Live from inside Eleanor’s Pizzeria we’re celebrating our Anthony Quinnceañera. Drew’s doing his hardest, you guys. *Manscaped.com promo code CATS20*

Them Sigur Rós boys are at it again. Becker in front, Mr. Baseball in back. Long coat, short jacket. Full, full hippos. *Manscaped.com promo code CATS20*

It’s Dogboys ‘R’ Us today. Get yourself a kid that looks like Anne Heche. *Manscaped.com promo code CATS20*

We watch Mark Wahlberg in “Song of the Southie” as we sit on each other’s laps. *Manscaped.com promo code CATS20*

Get off r/BobHeartsAbishola for ONE MINUTE and listen to this. We’ll give you a 21 gun bag salute. *Manscaped.com promo code CATS20*

Daddy’s home. *Manscaped.com promo code CATS20*

We’re on NPR now. *Manscaped.com promo code CATS20*

You got Qs, we got some sweet As. Put questions in the YouTube comments for this or DM us on Twitter @notscotthenson @sariansoftpaws *Manscaped.com promo code CATS20*

Brood, Edge, Brood! That’s Murphy with an F. *Manscaped.com promo code CATS20*

Salute the six-pointed star spangled banner with us. Boomer, show me your ass. *Manscaped.com promo code CATS20*

fELIne Manning says take a break from equality and get out those RSMAMs. *Manscaped.com promo code CATS20*

Doodles has a secret. *Manscaped.com promo code CATS20*

An emergency owl-pology. Don’t genitally mutilate the messenger. *Manscaped.com promo code CATS20*

Everything Everywhere All At Once? More like Everydick Intheroom On My Face. *Manscaped.com promo code CATS20*

Now I’m Greta Gerwig. Helen Keller was largely useless. And SPORTS (but not really). *Manscaped.com promo code CATS20*

Anal Hershiser is my favourite pitcher. Mr. Shango was my father, call me Papa. *Manscaped.com promo code CATS20*

The W in WNBA is kinda redundant. They’re calling it Dumb Oldboy. Let’s do PUBG. *Manscaped.com promo code CATS20*

Started as a bottom now I’m top. #OscarsSoRight *Manscaped.com promo code CATS20*

Let’s see what Earv Junior thinks about this. Magnum opiates. *Manscaped.com promo code CATS20*

The Mariano Rivera of Cambodian genocide. And a kissing machine. *Manscaped.com promo code CATS20*

Scott got sick so you can catch up on our stupid long episodes. *Manscaped.com promo code CATS20*

Steve Miller Band’s The Bram Stoker. New K-pop band Black Umbrella. Join the Dollar Steak Club. Also I don’t even know if those jokes are in this. *Manscaped.com promo code CATS20*

I’m what god intended. I’m Captain AHAB. *Manscaped.com promo code CATS20*

Oscar Pistorius: nature’s perfect killing machine. Portrait of a Man Not on Fire. Trans-Suspirian Orchestra. *Manscaped.com promo code CATS20*

He’s more meat than man at this point. More AR-15s, less Ginsus. Portent Portables for $200. *Manscaped.com promo code CATS20*

Time for some ASM-hard-R. A Man Called Uwe. The kid was stacked. *Manscaped.com promo code CATS20*

Mr. Night Shyamalan, manic pixie dead girls, lots going on here *Manscaped.com promo code CATS20*

Get out your Glenn Fleshlight *Manscaped.com promo code CATS20

It’s the all piggies episode! Taste the sweetest nectar of 1001 Arabian words. *Manscaped.com promo code CATS20*

Okada in the wet market with a pangolin. The Picture of Gideon Grey. With special guest Kelly and surprise guest Sam Jude.

All Drew wants is free The Surgery™ and a Milk Bar in his house. Is that too much to wish for? At least he also wished to fix the audio from Part 1. Don’t grow a maleficent tumor.

This is a Beanie Baby podcast now. We relitigate Crow v. Wade. Also the audio is terrible because SOMEONE fucked up the gain on their microphone. It’s fixed in Part 2.

Whither Shingo?

Better Hitler up, it’s time to go to work. Bees hate honey.

Get an MBA and check out the New York Magazine Creep of the Week.

Christmas comes early, and so do we

18 NO. Brought to you by Aww So Cute adult baby diapers and I guess Manscaped.com.

Put down those Cantonese oranges or you’ll get too big for baths. Tubi or not Tubi. LBJTQ.

What’s Nikki Blonsky up to lately? I dunno, about 400? *Manscaped.com promo code CATS20*

This land is my land, this land is my land. The pope is the goalie. *Manscaped.com promo code CATS20*

Nomadland? More like NoDadsLand. CODA? More like CHODA. For all Americans from Greenland to Chile. *Manscaped.com promo code CATS20*

It’s the swallow that gets ya. Mulan Rouge. *Manscaped.com promo code CATS20*

Beaver! *Manscaped.com promo code CATS20*

Stop AskJeevesing “drownded wwe girls” and listen to our podcast. *Manscaped.com promo code CATS20*

It’s freedom time! Let’s talk gross vs. net gay sex.

A celebration of great Greek-Americans like Al Roker and Joe Paterno. We can’t all be Lilies.

We write the spec script for Arrival 2: Arrival Goes West. Make an honest man out of me.

Join us for 17 crazy nights as we go on a Nip/Tucker Carlson marathon

Colour me purple and get me a Ten Thousand Dollar bar

Let me animate the fox! We’re just a couple of KSGuys.

Drew’s back from his visit with Abe Bogota and it’s time to get down to business. Beware Sucralosa.

Let’s get DDS to LSJ. No adult Lolitas please.

Let’s be kids about this. Brought to you by Kevin Nuke ‘Em, the best firefighter in Miami.

Draclua is officially a POC. Reesie’s Piecies, interspecies.

Self owns and cell phones. Take it from the Bruce Springsteen of soda. Be a GYJB and listen.

Get rambunctious. Take a victory lap. Find an alternative gas station. But just remember, the balls are the legs.

100% good idea no regrets. Don’t FRET, grab an Abba Zabba and a Black Craft, sit back, and enjoy the show. 4:20 friendly, no pets.

Go apologize to God

I can do whatever I want today

Sometimes science is a liar. Sometimes we are too. Give us a break, our house ran away.

#blazeit

I’m not a latin pop star. Sponsored by the Scott Henson Gym for Young Studs.

I don’t always, but when I do, it’s very interesting

Aussie Aussie Aussie! AIDS AIDS AIDS!

Are they still calling it the kung flu?

Ease up on the PDT. Bush Boys 2024! And NOTHING BAD IS EVER GOING TO HAPPEN AGAIN.

Brought to you by Gatorade Black Guys. Beware the new axis.

But who’s counting?

Jim Carrey is our favourite Kid in the Hall

Let’s give China a break and check in on African muslims. Ma’am, we changed your son’s penis.

Stars and bars of David. Fear the neckbeard rat king.

Lacey Evans + WWE superstar + Pregnant + Feet

Albinos aren’t magic, and Vince has been dipping his ink in company pen.

You know Ice Cube and Nas are the same person right? Chinese, Japanese, Tito Ortiz, look at these.

They don’t make fatigues to fit that butt.

Stop being such a General Tso and watch these troublemakers get their just desserts. Let’s get jinky with it.

I do sick dance moves, and when I spin, I hit Rihanna. Shake your Boov thang. I do a lot of teamwork in this episode.

2, 4, 6, 8, who do we appreciate? Nipples! But only in those denominations. Fursuits, food reviews, and tyrants. We’ll finish the movie requests next week, settle down. We deserve this.

Hospital, firehall, policeman

B-Star-Witched

SlurpCon ’85. Just because you’re handsome doesn’t mean I won’t hurt you.

Not a lot of Steve Harvey watchers

Ladies and gentlemen, The Human Mule

Your honour, my lawyer is Indian. Drew needs two tails.

I don’t think there are 8 dogs in that painting

Happy Valentimes

“Students” are being “encouraged” to “identify” as “cats”

Shut up and fuck that tiger

Stacy Kiebler vs. Stacy Keach: who’s YOUR Stacy K?

Lunar fire drill!

1, 2, 3, R. Watch yourself, McCoy.

Fire up your Whoopi Goldberg device. It’s bonus time.

You blew it. Send in the big dogs.

It’s a new year. Time to tally up your Being a Good Boy points.

New year, same you

Nobody puts Dick Togo in a corner

Merry Pissmas

Have yourself a Thick Hog Christmas

Calling all Social Studies Warriors. For the thinking man’s intellectual.

Down a bag of Vicodin and enter the No Spin Zone

Do we talk about Dane Cook in the first minute? Yes. Does Drew get the hiccups twice? Also yes.

In this economy?

Uh oh. Somebody made a mess.

Mahalo Akbar

Tenzing Norgay: the mountain GOAT

MTFTM. Roflcopter Simmons.

Time for THE NEWS™

Reincoprophagia. Jeep Grand Cherokees.

A pentagram of nipples

Is it “In Your Houses” or “Ins Your House”? Give yourself a Stranger and celebrate the new Sultan of Brunei of Russia.

BTS: Bi, Trans, Straight

I’m gonna get into talking to people with my eyes closed

TailStarHipHop

Join us for a Cat Day Afternoon

Diners Club wouldn’t make OnlyFans get rid of porn. We’re taking this to the (other) Supreme Court.

Learn the 3 B’s of good partying. And why can’t Arthur Chu host Jeopardy?

50,000 battered women and I’m eating mine plain?

We’re getting a divorce

PILEDRIVERS. And a preamble for the ages.

Field of Wet Dreams, starring Timothy Bustfield

Live from Amazon Hindquarters

They’ll nominate Meryl Streep for anything

Black rhinos can’t vote

Gladiator? More like Glad Her Ate Her (Pussy).

I’m gonna fuck your brother, Undertaker, and then he’s gonna be MY brother!

A Beautiful Mind? More like A Beautiful Kind (of Dick).

Steve Austin is, by definition, a rattlesnake. Drew died on the way back to his home planet.

Chicago? More like Thick Hog, Bro.

Bret Hart spits, never swallows

Lord of the Rings: Return of the King? More like Bored of My Kinks: Return of the Cockring.

Helen Hart was pregnant when she died.

Million Dollar Baby? More like Million Ballhair Scabies.

How are two good wrestlers always SO BORING together?

Crash? More like Smash (Guys).

That Taker sure did get his revenge

The Departed? More like The Retarded.

THURSDAY RAW THURSDAY

We got put in Horny Jail for a week.

“No Country for Old Men”? More like “No Cunt? Reee! Four Old Men!”

It’s Free-For-All rules

Slumdog Millionaire? More like Cumshot Inyourhair.

Heel JR can take a long walk off a short pier.

The Hurt Locker? More like Meet the Fockers.

Undertaker and Goldust complete the standard 3-match program. With special guest Shane Sweeney as Mark Fuhrman.

The King’s Speech? More like The Queen’s Queef.

Watch out, he’s got a switchblade

The Artist? More like The Autist.

Davey Boy Smith is a complete loser.

Argo? More like Hard R-go.

We got a surprise for Vince. And it’s Ah-Red Johnson.

12 Years a Slave? More like 12 Beers I’m Gay.

What’s the time? Diaper time.

Billie Kay is the worst wrestler on the planet and I’m glad she’s fired.

Birdman or (The Unexpected Virtue of Ignorance)? More like Girlman or (The Unexpected Virtue of Being Trans).

Ladies and gentlemen, Buddy Rydell

Spotlight? More like Hotguys.

It’s almost Fiend Day!

Two junkies have the best match on the show.

Moonlight? More like Manlight.

Owen Hart was faking for attention

Shape of Water? More like Gape of Water.

Todd. Pettengill. Cut. His. Fucking. Hair.

Green Book? More like Cream Book. Also I think we fixed the audio?

Todd. Pettengill’s. Fucking. Hair.

Parasite? More like Pair a’ Guys (I’d Like to Have Sex With).

We realized we didn’t have much to do for 2021 and have now wildly overcommitted.

A list of wrestlers we can’t believe either HAVE or DON’T HAVE a 5-star match. Plus future plans. Plus we’re going on a train trip.

The international kiss embargo has been lifted. Sweet Baby KENTo.

Rankin/Bass? More like Crankin/Ass. Trump waited till Ivanka was 18. Ladies Love Cool Okada.

NJPW Wrestle Kingdom 15 review. Wrestling. Hockey. Nightmare. Sex.

NJPW Wrestle Kingdom 15 preview just under the wire. Middle East > Middle Canada.

Our Top 20s of the decade. Look for pretty list graphics on our Twitters & the YouTube description. SNL Quebec exists.

A bunch of best-of-the-decade stuff. Look for pretty list graphics on our Twitters & the YouTube description. Shout out to Moldova.

Fun new graphics up now on our Twitters (@notscotthenson & @sariansoftpaws) and in the YouTube description. Big stuff next week.

What’s worse: your hospital being bombed or having to wear a mask? Let’s get Drew snipped & snepped.

I’ma let you finish, except I’m not, because I’m gonna talk right now.

For some reason we talk about 2009 for a while.

Let’s not get too political (about Israel).

What’s cooler than being gay?

Yeah this one almost killed us.

Kiss party!

You know those “It Gets Better” PSAs? It doesn’t.

We made it through one, so it probably only gets easier from here right?

Scott and Drew dip their toes into their first Top 10 of the decade. The waters are pleasantly warm.

I had to listen to every goddamn episode to do this and now you do too.

This took way too long to do and I don’t like the podcast anymore.

The boys are back to tell you how they wasted the last 3 years and how they’re going to waste the next several. Is China the worst? Tune in to find out.

DAN. SCOTT. DREW. KELLY. The whole gang reunites for the mercifully final episode of 2000 WCW Nitro. We stay remarkably on track for a while before devolving into local radio talk and the Saudi prince’s obsession with Ink Inc.

Wrestlemania 36 Day 2 review. Sometimes it’s okay to just hate a woman for no reason. The “what shall we do today?” booking method.

The boys are back to sinning! Fire up Trolls 2 on your Microsoft Zune and get comfy for a timely Wrestlemania review.

Open up your pussy books.

Wrestle Kingdom 14 Day 2 review. Also analysis of every match Dave Meltzer has rated ABOVE 5 stars. Surprisingly more wrestling talk than racism. Scott’s a Vamp-hero.

Wrestle Kingdom 14 Day 1 review. Testing out the new podcast gear. Diet and cardio tips. Can you be gay AND Jewish? With special unscheduled call-in guest Chris Frank.

2019 Year-End Awards Part 2/2. Find out when Scott will invoke his one steal in the thrilling conclusion. Why have a dog lick peanut butter off your balls when you could lick peanut butter off a dog’s balls?

2019 Year-End Awards Part 1/2. ‘Tis better to take than to receive. We only listen to audio porn now. Stay tuned for the Caroline Rhea Show.

We discuss the ramifications of consensual adult incest and start lifestyle blogs. Why don’t they make the whole PLANE out of the woman? With special guest Shane Sweeney.

A NJPW Wrestle Kingdom 14 preview pre-empts our regular holiday episode of our Little House on the Prairie podcast. Shout out to Buzz Aldrin.

Scott rigs another election. Southern plantain owners. The all-female reboot of Charlie’s Angels.

Getting a blood transfusion from Magic Johnson while also having sex with Magic Johnson. Serial killing tips. If Slapnuts Boulevard Could Talk. #CancelScottHenson

Don’t close up shop too soon. Sixteen seventeen-year-olds can’t be wrong.

Open up your Caesarean zippers, we’ve got an international guest who’s worried he might not be racist enough for the podcast but then remembers he’s British. Take off your shirt and jacket. With special guest Chris Goodwin.

Why are we finding ways to prolong this?

I can’t even repeat the funniest thing we said.

Hop a plane to Nigeria by way of Palestine, it’s time for the Oxycontin episode! Come enjoy Scott’s last episode before his inevitable overdose.

Wrestlemania 35 review. I forgot to yell about how Baron Corbin takes Germans, so pretend I did that. Drew correctly predicted the entire main card’s results because he’s a nerd.

Wrestlemania 35 preview. April Fool’s, it’s just us talking about our periods for 2 hours. Drew doesn’t know how Wheel of Fortune works.

A new Benoit murder theory involving Chavo Guerrero and blackface. Shout out to our favourite actor/rapper Gizz Ahmed. Guest live tweeting by Chris Frank.

I think we said Shakira did 9/11? I dunno, we had low blood sugar.

Put on your roo suit and wave to Hard-R Shimizu as you pass by. We’re goin’ down unda!

A very timely NJPW Wrestle Kingdom 13 review. Scott agrees to release his private email server.

2018 Year-End Awards Part 3/3. Will Drew be able to keep up his stupid announcer voice going into hour 4? What does NOLA really stand for? Should ALL wrestling be watched on opiates? When was the last time we were happy?

2018 Year-End Awards Part 2/3. “Tamina was so fat I thought she was Nia Jax” and other woke takes. Scott turns into Nancy Kerrigan.

2018 Year-End Awards Part 1/3. The hunt for the LGBTK Killer is on. The preamble turns into an amble. Wrestle Kingdom of Saudi Arabia.

If you want to make an omelette, you have to rape a few eggs. Behind the Candelabra, The Normal Heart, MC Skat Kat, Under the Umbrella Tree, Bill & Ted’s Bogus Journey, and I guess Nitro.

The boys discuss the origin of the pride flag. Reading, ‘riting, math: the three R’s. Big election in Japan. Dead midgets as far as the eye can see.

The boys try to remember things that they could easily just look up. Brought to you by Spike Lee’s Hulk and Bryan Singer sewing machines.

We’re just cruisin’.

Sorry for the delay. Drew had polio. But come celebrate the last cool 9/11 in America’s history with us, won’t you?

“That was a good Jerry Lewis impression. Now say the N-word.” Yeah, it’s probably a Scott and Drew episode. Please participate in our interactive poll.

The Harris Brothers put the third K in Kronik. Lance Storm is a slave trader. Tony Schiavone is the voice of a nation. With special guest Greg Sage.

Drew and Scott go undercover in the gay community for 18 years and report their findings. This was definitely recorded after the last episode and not before.

Dan is briefly un-fired to provide an 18-years-late LIVE REPORT of Nitro from Kelowna, British Columbia. We ruin PCO’s 2018 indy resurgence. The Harrises accidentally hate-crime Bryan Clark. Is this a bit?

Someone’s listening to these because they keep getting marked as explicit. Is clownface racist? Have you ever French kissed a tit? Bestiality Talk 3.0: Goofy & Pluto edition.

All aboard the listener-ship! Bestiality Talk 2.0 and Kidman gets a new theme song. New Jack has four justifiable suicides. Bill Bixby played Lou Ferrigno. Civil War: 69 vs. 67.

The boys choose their Will & Grace avatars. Tiger Woods and Lance Armstrong are the only heroes America has left. Scott invents a fun new racial slur.

WCW Guy-tro brought to you by Cloaca-Cola. Lance Storm wins 3 straight matches by submission but Scott is more interested in naming the entire cast of the Carol Burnett Show. The hubris of uploading 2 eps in a week thinking we can catch up is embarrassing

We sift our way through too many face/heel turns and too many women allowed to speak on microphones. We check in with Cecil B. D’Milf and Racist Two-Face. Dan and Kelly are still fired.

We’re late so here’s a super-sized episode. More talking, less people. The number one alt-right wrestling podcast on iTunes. Send us your cool swastikas.

Laws are relaxed. Enjoy some gay marriage word problems. Kelly’s last name is Christmas. What is Tank Abbott’s type? The end of the worst half year of our lives.

Big T? More like low-T. Nitro: the other N-word.

Coffee is for closers.

Kevin Nash eats a little Korean. Shawn Stasiak has an inexplicably good match. Three counts no longer require a pin, or even for you to be anywhere near your opponent.

Two world title changes, one of which occurs in a wrestling match. Rey Mysterio takes his dick out. Kronik does 3 costume changes. GI Bro is stealing valor. With special guests Greg Sage, Alex Zayne, and Rickey Shane Page, & studio audience Allan and Liz.

Dan loses it in the first 60 seconds. We pair off into Hollywood couples. Disclaimer: the views and opinions expressed by 3 members of The Worst Year of Our Lives DO reflect the views and opinions of the 4th member. It’s a cuck or be cucked world.

Look what The Cat dragged in (it’s Terry Funk). Is Vampiro magic? Is Mike Awesome a Hasidic Jew? Bryan Clark gets eaten by a car. Bowser gotta fuck.

DDP drinks piss. Scott makes 11th century history jokes. Lex Luger? More like Lex Loser. Daniel Fedak is a juggalo.

Interspecies ménage à trois. Kronik hate good jumpers. Vampiro loves the smell of dead pussy.

Big Bang Theory vs. Young Sheldon, Deck the Halls vs. Christmas with the Kranks, David Arquette vs. Eric Bischoff

You cuck me, I cuck your dad. You bring a knife, we bring a gun. With special guest Shane Sweeney.

The Wall’s real name is Malice. Scott makes a great abortion joke that nobody enjoys. Taped in front of a live studio audience, a.k.a. Allan.

Look, next week’s Russo/Bischoff reboot is going to take time to perfect. Take a week off and think about what you did.

The end of the worst Q1 of our lives. Lex Luger murdered an angel.

Lane and Rave talk about chasing rizzats and we ponder the relentless cruelty of life. Hulk Hogan is a big bald bastard and deserved what he got.

If you were less in the mood for wrestling and more in the mood for a state-by-state analysis of bestiality laws, this is the show for you. The term “dude dog” is coined and we will never be the same. With special guest Greg Sage.

WCW can’t even book a cheese sandwich right. The countdown is on to Nitro Girl Beef. With special guest Greg Sage.

A vicious game of Cat and Maes-tro. What Miyazaki character does Mark Madden most resemble? “No one’s a heel, no one’s a face, and everybody’s wearing bucket hats.”

Does anyone read the description?