A person with strong boundaries understands that it’s unreasonable to expect two people to accommodate each other 100% and fulfill every need the other has. A person with strong boundaries understands that they may hurt someone’s feelings sometimes, but ultimately they can’t determine how other people feel. A person with strong boundaries understands that a healthy relationship is not controlling one another’s emotions, but rather each partner supporting each other in their growth and path to self-actualization.

If you’re looking to reboot your health this year, you might sign up for your first triathlon, kickstart a meditation habit, or cut down on ultra-processed foods. But the latest science suggests the best way to improve long-term health isn’t physical, it’s social: connection. Strengthening relationship ties by exercising what experts call “social fitness” is the most influential brain and body hack. Like weight training staves off bone density loss as you age, social fitness counters the downstream effects of chronic stress. “Not exercising your social fitness is hazardous to your health,” says Robert Waldinger, a psychiatrist and psychoanalyst at Massachusetts General Hospital and a professor of psychiatry at Harvard Medical School.

The Importance of Ritual to Mental Health In a world that often feels chaotic and unpredictable, developing personal rituals can help us feel in control over our own lives. Rituals are actions that have special, personal meaning and that become a regular part of our life. They benefit our mental health deeply.

If you want to be able to manage your mindset, it helps to understand something about what’s going on inside your head.   You don’t have to be a brain surgeon or neuroscientist to be curious about the contents of your skull. The human brain is the most complex thing in the universe and you get to own one – how amazing is that?

Let’s be honest. We all do it. We compare our lives, our businesses, our bodies, our families, our kids, our houses. And even though we hate how the comparison game makes us feel, we do it anyway. For many of us, the comparison game has become almost like second nature. Let’s look at what the comparison game is, how it affects us and how to overcome it.

Living authentically by knowing yourself, being able to understand, accept and express your emotions, follow your own intuition, and trust in your ability to make the right decisions for yourself and your life can have significant positive impacts on your health and well-being. Research shows that people who live more authentically are prone to greater psychological well-being.  Greater mental health generally equates to greater physical health too. When one cannot live from this true place of authenticity, then stress is often created in our minds and bodies.  This stress may be subconscious at first (since it likely started from a young age), but it eventually builds over time resulting in mental and physical imbalances that can show up as anxiety, depression, chronic anger, fatigue, stomach disturbances, and chronic illness. Anything that takes us away from who we truly are and who we are meant to be in this world, has the potential of creating immense stress in our bodies as we are denying our true creative expression of our authentic self.

In this episode, Lynn explains the science behind what happens when you use the most dangerous drug on the planet, alcohol. She lays out several ways to cope with problematic alcohol use. 

In this episode Lynn discusses rumination which is caused by lack of awareness of mostly subconscious negative thoughts.  Using her excerpts from her book "5 Weeks to Self Confidence, A Guide to Confronting Your Inner Critic & Controlling Your Relationship with Your Thoughts", you will learn the healthy coping skills of introspection and self-distancing.

In this episode Lynn talks truth about the epidemic of Childhood Trauma, Childhood Emotional Neglect. Its origins, symptoms and how to cope with it as adults.

Hi, I'm Lynn Matti. Are you struggling with low self-esteem or a lack of self-compassion? Do you often feel self doubt long with anxiety and worry? Do you avoid difficult conversations? Is your inner voice often critical? I help people understand themselves better, make sense of their thoughts and feelings, learn from expectations and resentments by using a heart-centered and modern approach.  We all want and need to live an authentic and fulfilling life...sometimes we just need a little help. Two of our most basic needs ares to be connected to ourselves and others and to accept and love ourselves. Without these, we feel a lack of purpose and isolation.   On this podcast and in my coaching I offer you a space to listen and be listened to without judgement. A place of safely...and when you are ready, a new perspective backed by clinical theory based on long term results. Tools which are uniquely personalized to help you reconnect to your inner world and improve your relationships.

Lynn shares BUNDLES of episodes categorized for you. "Neuro Nerdy", "Just Starting Out", Skills Building, Society-Culture-Interviews-and "Trauma and Mental Health". With a special message about our times at the end.

Lynn talks about what it takes to get your needs and wants out of life.  Why is it so hard and confusing?

In this episode, Lynn takes a deeper dive into our layers of miscommunication and codependency in relationships.  Find out how to be your most authentic self.

Lynn takes you into the world of codependency in 2022.  What does it look like to be codependent and what can you do today to feel better.

How do we human? Why do we seek pain relief? What are we searching for? What is happiness?  All really good questions. I won't answer them definitively in this podcast, but you will learn how I answered them for myself and how I help others with the common issues we all have today.

Emotions are the commanders of our actions as well as the cause behind mental issues. Resentment is especially intriguing because of its secretive quality, its connection to violent acts and trauma, and its large role in interpersonal relationships.

In this episode Lynn talks about Living Room and Kitchen Dancing along with the many other ways dancing is making it onto the recovery radar screen.

Lynn shares what she has learned about the newest identified trauma response, fawning.

I know it is not fun.  Yet we know the best way to heal is through.  Really that is it.  We must learn a healthy way through.  At least that is my preference, because too many of us don't know to talk about our feelings. Which makes it difficult to know what we need.

Lynn talks about the confusion today regarding what is trauma and do I have some?

Lynn shares the necessary practice of Self Reflection, tips and ways to learn it today.

In this episode we have a ball discussing the joys of sobriety and recovery along with Veronica's Five Pillars of Sobriety and Emotional Sobriety.

Lynn talks about research and practice around EI and ER and how to be more mentally fit and flexible. 

Lynn talks about what she learned about herself over the break and how to focus on what you need in the coming year.

Lynn identifies several of her top episodes to take you into 2022!  See you in January!

Ask yourself things like: Who will be at the party? Is there anyone there who will try to compromise my sobriety? Who can go with me that supports my sobriety? What will I say when someone offers me a drink? What will I order to drink while there? Where is the party? Is it an environment I can handle at this time? How will I get home in the case I feel uncomfortable and need to leave? What are possible relapse triggers? What is my escape plan if I feel a craving or urge come on?

In today's episode Lynn talks about how folks confuse meditation with mindfulness and often take the fun out our being in the present moment. 

Many people aren’t sure what to expect when getting sober or entering into Recovery, even with some research. The first days of sobriety are full of challenges and opportunities to strengthen recovery. Getting an idea of what it’s like can help you or your loved one navigate this time more successfully.

Lynn takes a neuronerdy dive into one of her favorite recovery resources for information on our brain and how better understand what goes on within it.

Lynn shares her top 6 things that folks are still messing up about addiction, substance use and recovery!

Learn how to set boundaries big and small.

In this episode Lynn share a helpful resource for providing relief from confusion and emotionally suffering that some parents arouse in our early lives.

Lynn shares on what alcohol and other drugs deprive us of, how they work against and not for healthy relaxation and sleep.

Lynn explores why happiness seems so hard to get and how to figure out your own happiness goals. When most people talk about happiness, they might be talking about how they feel in the present moment, or they might be referring to a more general sense of how they feel about life overall.

Today Lynn talks about what most of us who have a problematic relationship with substances want to do, sometimes desperately.  There is a way to experiment with moderation to find out if it's for you.

In this episode Lynn shares the raw pivotal moment during early sobriety when she was faced with a huge block to her own recovery, her pride.  

Lynn shares steps you can take today to improve and heal broken and hurt relationships.

Lynn talks about what to do if you are feeling out of control even just a little bit.

In this episode Lynn discusses why we need both the upstairs and the downstairs brain and why we need them to work together. 

Are you tired much of the time? Getting the proper type of rest requires ID’ing what, exactly, you're missing, especially in early sobriety and recovery.  Learn what you don't know about resting in today's podcast.

We all need breaks, especially summer breaks!  Do you have something planned?  Take a listen to a previous episode and let me know if you want me to cover a specific topic!  xo Lynn

Lynn shares a great research and techniques to dive deeper into self improvement and recovery with your personal strengths. 

Lynn shares up to date information, definitions and solid ways to cope with your particular type of trauma.  

Lynn explores some of the reason we don't do what is good for us even thought we know it is good for us. Learn a really great tool for overcoming this common hurdle.  

With drug or alcohol abuse, the ability to think critically gets overshadowed by impulsive, irrational thinking.  Lynn talks about how to go about changing that. 

Lynn discusses Stephanie Brown's book The Alcoholic Family in Recovery, which gives four distinct stages that the alcoholic and the family surrounding him or her must go through to achieve recovery.

For many people, the first few weeks of sobriety are physically and mentally challenging. Lynn talks about what to expect and strategies for coping.

Get some answers in this episode to this question. It is no secret that misinformation about addiction is rampant in popular media. One particular area of misinformation concerns what language gets used when describing topics related to addiction. 

Psychologist Carl Rogers believed that for a person to "grow", they need an environment that provides them with genuineness (openness and self-disclosure), acceptance (being seen with unconditional positive regard), and empathy (being listened to and understood). How do we get these things?

More from the work of Allen Berger Ph. D.,a popular public speaker and nationally recognized expert on the science of recovery, is the author of 12 Stupid Things That Mess Up Recovery, 12 More Stupid Things That Mess Up Recovery, 12 Smart Things to Do When the Booze and Drugs Are Gone, 12 Hidden Rewards of Making Amends and Love Secrets Revealed: What Happy Couples Know About Having Great Sex, Deep Intimacy, and a Lasting Connection. 

In this episode, Lynn pulls from the work of Allen Berger Ph. D.,a popular public speaker and nationally recognized expert on the science of recovery, is the author of 12 Stupid Things That Mess Up Recovery, 12 More Stupid Things That Mess Up Recovery, 12 Smart Things to Do When the Booze and Drugs Are Gone, 12 Hidden Rewards of Making Amends and Love Secrets Revealed: What Happy Couples Know About Having Great Sex, Deep Intimacy, and a Lasting Connection.   

Lynn talks about how those who strive for excellence in a healthy way take genuine pleasure in trying to meet high standards. Perfectionism, on the other hand, results in struggles with self-doubt and fears of disapproval and rejection.

Boredom happens when our mind is unoccupied, and we want to do something but can’t figure out what we want to do. No one is completely untouched by boredom, but some suffer more than others. In this episode Lynn talks about what boredom really is and what you can do about it. 

One's relationship with oneself is crucial to proper development. It's about healthy self-love.“The better you know yourself, the better your relationship with the rest of the world.” (Toni Collette) 

Emotional fitness is the simple idea that our minds need regular exercise and training just as much as our bodies do in order to stay healthy and fit. Lynn talks about what it is and how to get it.

Cognitive therapy is one of the main tools for changing people’s negative thinking and developing healthy coping skills. The effectiveness of cognitive therapy in relapse prevention has been confirmed in numerous studies.

Recovery is a process of personal growth in which each stage has its own risks of relapse and its own developmental tasks to reach the next stage [2]. The stages of recovery are not the same length for each person, but they are a useful way of looking at recovery.

Lynn shares the core principles of learning how to make the necessary plans for prevention of relapse/return to use. The plan includes the four main ideas to address in relapse prevention and the stages of relapse. 

Relapse can bring on some of the most difficult feelings to deal with for both the individual who is addicted – and their loved ones. It may feel as though you did everything right: You completed and graduated from a treatment center, regained control of your life and even put some time under your belt. But is relapse truly a failure Absolutely not.

In this episode Lynn continues the exploration of what it takes to change your relationship with alcohol and other drugs.  She discusses how to best assess where you are at and what are the recommendations for your recovery care.

Today Lynn shares one of her favorite reference and self learning websites, BreakingtheCycles.com.  Pulling from the writing of Lisa Frederiksen, author, speaker and educator. 

Once life begins to stabilize and you’re able to think clearly in recovery, the top priority is often regaining the trust of your loved ones. Lynn talks about how to do this in a way that will last.

There is often inconsistency between what people believe and how they behave which motivates them to engage in actions that will help minimize feelings of discomfort. People attempt to relieve this tension in different ways, such as by rejecting, explaining away, or avoiding new information, also known as Cognitive Distortions and Motivated Reasoning.

Co-rumination refers to extensively discussing and revisiting problems, speculating about problems, and focusing on negative feelings with peers. Although it is similar to self-disclosure in that it involves revealing and discussing a problem, it is more focused on the problems themselves and thus can be maladaptive

Lynn talks about well mindedness, finding truth through awareness of our suffering...Yup, it's the way through toward more peace, happiness and joy.

In this final episode of 2020, Lynn shares what has the most impact on our overall well being. 

What is the difference between pleasure and happiness?  What do dopamine and serotonin have to do with these life pursuits and addiction. 

Lynn discusses how your personal narrative effects and determines how you live your life and how to rewrite this story for better mental wellness. 

Lynn is back from break and ready to offer a new take on how to address what is causing you to feel overwhelmed and in crisis.  Take listen and let us know what you think!

I'm taking a wee little break until next month to recoup some energy and get inspired for new and informative episodes leading into 2021!  Please reach out to me via [email protected] anytime! xo Lynn

Today Lynn shares the why moving and other life events and transitions seem to sneak up on our emotional lives. Hint...You must allows consider and attend to your emotions.  

Lynn shares information on how to sustain your mental health and sobriety during the coming months. 

Learn how to filter out the truth from the lies within the chatter of thoughts, beliefs and memories in your mind. Raising awareness of your subconscious and automatic thoughts opens the door to a new reality.

Looking at addiction and recovery through the lens of lifespan developmental psychology helps experts develop effective interventions for preventing and treating addiction. Here, we consider developmental psychology and the role of human development in the development and treatment of addiction.

Learn where Lynn was last week and why along with some simple ways to find our happy with focusing on the good in our lives.

Do you consider yourself a people pleaser? Do you find yourself saying “yes” to people only to regret it moments later? Do you tend to put others’ needs before your own? If you answered in the affirmative to any of the above questions, it may serve you to become better at saying “no.”

Acceptance is one of the most powerful states of mind you can be in because once you've accepted the reality of something you are then at your most empowered to do something about it

You think that tackling your to-do list will make you happier, less stressed, and more content, but you (all too often) don’t get there. Learn how to see a new path through procrastination!

Lynn discusses common ways we self sabotage and ways to identify and overcome them.

Lynn shares the role of spirituality and higher beliefs in regaining a sense of self compassion and connection. 

Getting started or getting unstuck, these 5 simple rules will help. There are five simple rules that cover most of what you need to do in recovery. If you are ever in doubt of what to do, or if you are on the right track, ask yourself if you are following these five simple rules.

We know how transformative self-compassion can be, especially when it comes to healing shame. When you are deeply rooted in shame, it is difficult to focus on what to do to get out of it.  Learn a few skills in today's episode including a 5 Step process from nicabm.

Lynn talks about how she is coping with these feelings as Covid continues to alter our lives and uncertainty becomes the norm. 

Lynn shares her thoughts and lessons from 10 Years of Sobriety and 12 years of Recovery. 

Lynn talks about her own feelings as Covid 19 continues and how to find calm in a time of chaos and disconnection. 

One of the biggest obstacles out there on our paths to wholeness is judgmentalism. Why is it an obstacle? When we are unaware of our judgmental tendencies, we become angry, hateful, defensive, anxious, and isolated. As you can imagine, such a trait not only alienates us from others, but also from our very own soulful selves.

Learn strategies for overcoming them! Resentment is closely related to anger. Resentments are negative feelings, basically ill will, toward someone or something that emanates from the past. Resentment is the re-experiencing of past injustices — real or perceived — and the old feelings of anger connected to them. Resentments form when people get angry toward a person, institution, or situation, and steadfastly hold on to that anger.

So many us have learned the hard way with staying at home during the last few months that we are not good at not keeping busy.  In this episode Lynn explores the cause of much of our busyness and how we can get more comfortable with slowing down to live more.

Lynn reads two of Maya Angelou's most famous poems as a means to learn to sit with others pain and feel your own emotions about race and racial unrest. 

A research professor at the University of Houston, Brown has spent much of her career studying shame, guilt, empathy, vulnerability, courage and how they affect the way we show up in our daily lives, and most recently, how they affect leadership. According to Brené Brown, a researcher at the University of Houston, shame is an “intensely painful feeling or experience of believing that we are flawed and therefore unworthy of love and belonging.”  It’s an emotion that affects all of us and profoundly shapes the way we interact in the world. But, depending on how we deal with it, shame can either shut us down or lead us to a new sense of bravery and authenticity.

This is the time for difficult conversations. Most everyone dreads the difficult, challenging conversation. This includes conversations in which we have to deliver unpleasant news, discuss a delicate subject, or talk about something that needs to change or has gone wrong.

So many of us suffer from low stress tolerance, which causes a condition known as “overstress.” This condition is caused by a lifestyle that imposes far too much stress on a person or it can occur when someone has less than normal stress tolerance.

Why do we get triggered?  What happens when we become emotionally triggered?  Why is it important to identify our emotional triggers?  How do they keep us stuck? Listen today to learn all this and more!

I’ve fought too often for relationships to last. For one more time together to get it right. I’ve fought with, I’ve fought for and, mainly, I’ve fought against myself. My intuitive side. Growing distant from my relationship to me. I was continuously robbing myself of my own needs and evolution. Learn how to build, not erode your best self relationship.

People with GAD and Substance Use Disorders are thought to have higher intolerance of uncertainty than those with other anxiety disorders.  They have a belief system in which uncertainty is viewed as stressful, unfair, upsetting, and to be avoided. Learn a great coping skill to deal with this common mental health issue.

When you grow up in a household that has healthy boundaries, you naturally have them yourself as an adult. But unfortunately, many of us don’t start out with that advantage. The hallmark of a healthy boundary is strong but flexible. As adults, one of the best things we can do for ourselves is to understand boundaries and work on building them for ourselves. Learn a super helpful skill for creating healing boundaries.

Not everyone finds expressing their feelings easy or having it come naturally. While the stereotype is that men have the hardest time expressing their emotions, everyone at one time or another in their life may find it difficult to say how they feel. Learning why you have trouble expressing your feelings can go a long way into changing that behavior. Saying how you feel is something you can learn how to do! 

In this episode Lynn takes you through an eye opening introduction to that negative voice that speaks so cruelly to you each and everyday.  

Getting sober and maintaining sobriety or recovery is hard enough, much less during a global or personal crisis!  In this episode, Lynn shares useable tips and skills for reducing substance use, choosing a time of abstinence and how to refocus your recovery during this a difficult and isolating time. 

Learn some important words and discussion tips for coping in your own environments, homes and with your loved ones during this exceptional time of stress and uncertainty.  Lynn share ways to talk to each other and especially our children with honesty and compassion. 

This is such a difficult time and anxiety is on everyone's radar.   Being able to calm yourself in the moment is more important than ever.  Learn 15 statements for calming you can use today.

Lynn speaks from the heart about how we all can find a way through the emotional chaos of the social and emotional impact of the Coronavirus.

Lynn talks with the president of WFS to talk about how the New Life Program has been helping women and can assist you on your journey through recovery from just about anything.

Lynn talks about the symptoms of this common stress response and it's connection to trauma and addiction.  Learn how you can cope with it using specialized techniques. 

Lynn talks about why we default to self-criticism instead of self-compassion.  Learn how to give yourself a break and cultivate more authentic and quality caring and kindness in your daily life. 

In this episode, Lynn shares a favorite article written by another psychotherapist.  How do we open our hearts and minds to light when we feel the darkness around us?  Learn six techniques for feeling light and lightness during tough times.

So often I’ve been asked, “So how does one choose a good therapist, what should I look for first in a therapist and what difference does the therapist’s degree make?"  In today's episode, I will walk you through these tricky questions offering guidance and information for making the best choice for your needs. 

In this episode, Lynn shares a fully free time tested tool. The Work of Byron Katie The Work is a simple process of remaining alert to and questioning stressful thoughts. It is a simple, powerful, and effective self-help reflective practice you can start doing today. 

In this episode, Lynn covers how to recognize your trauma, what are the phases of recovery from trauma and ways that you can address your trauma responses and reactions to lead the life you desire and deserve.  

In this episode, Lynn takes a close look at conflict and confrontation, why we avoid it and how to learn the benefits of learning to embrace it.  “Conflict can and should be handled constructively; when it is, relationships benefit. Conflict avoidance is *not* the hallmark of a good relationship. On the contrary, it is a symptom of serious problems and of poor communication.” ― Harriet B. Braiker.

Recovery means healing. Sobriety just means sober.  Recovery is learning to love our selves and others. Recovery is finding peace. Recovery is continually becoming a better person.  Recovery is owning up to our actions right or wrong and is giving up the victim role. Recovery is making amends, and not just saying we’re sorry. Recovery is action. Recovery is daily. Recovery isn’t a one-time thing, it is a lifelong journey.

In this episode, Lynn goes beyond the typical advice and recommendations often given for feeling down or downright depressed after the holiday season or any time of year.  Learn a few solid professionally tested tools to feel better starting today!

Instead of focusing on huge, radical steps, start moving forward by incorporating changes that are so small and simple that you can implement them immediately. These ideas can drastically change your life for the better.

In my final episode of 2019, I talk about how to approach self-reflection and self-evaluation.  Learn powerful and compassionate ways to build the life you want and deserve while practicing a needed and healthy coping skill.

Worry and rumination are forms of persistent negative thinking. They involve a predominance of verbal thoughts and can be likened to a negative inner-speech. Worry is concerned with the possibility of threats in the future and ways to effectively avoid or deal with them while rumination is concerned more with things that happened in the past.

Thinking about changing?  How to start and what you can do today to decide on a plan of action.

Self confidence and self-esteem shape how we live and view the world—when balanced, our relationships, communication, and daily lives are at their best. This guide to self-confidence provides supportive tools to help you take charge of your feelings and overcome doubt on your journey to self-worth, trust, and awareness.

Lynn talks about needing to take time for ourselves when we need it and the top 10 episodes of The SoberSoul Recovery Podcast.

Boredom is unpleasant and physically painful.  It can make you angry and frustrated.  Boredom can also influence your actions in negative ways.  Bored people are prone to overeat, for example.  So how does boredom work and how can I learn to slay it?

When facing difficulties and stressful situations, it can be tempting to turn to drugs or alcohol to cope. Even if you don’t intend to use substances as a coping mechanism, it can happen without you realizing it. If left unchecked, coping by way of substances can turn into a full-blown addiction.

So many of us long to be part of something real. But we’ll need to risk discomfort and criticism and show the world our real selves first, says vulnerability researcher Brené Brown.  

Everyone is likely to experience a traumatic event in their life, it is almost unavoidable. Everyone’s experience of traumatic events will be different. How people are affected, cope and recover vary greatly. Enter Emotional Resiliency, a key ingredient as to why some people seem to sail through stress without a care in the world. Learn how to measure, acquire and build your emotional resilience.

Having trouble setting limits? You try and try, but your boundaries are often ignored? It’s frustrating, to say the least, but it’s not always the other person’s fault. Here’s why and what to do.

We are what we think, and the way we think determines how we experience life and where we go with it. Therefore, if we want to change our lives, we need to change our thinking first. What kind of thinking are you better at? Are you a good decision maker? A problem-solver? A planner? A visionary? Are you a person who makes a lot of sense, or a person who says “I don’t know” a lot? One useful way to answer these questions is to start by describing why we think, and what purpose it serves for us. If we examine the reasons behind the thinking process, we can better understand how thinking can be helpful in our lives.

You, yourself, as much as anyone else in the entire universe, deserve your love and affection. – Buddha Self-blame is one of the most toxic forms of emotional abuse. It amplifies our perceived inadequacies, whether real or imagined and paralyzes us before we can even begin to move forward. Get some skills for coping with this for addiction and recovery.

So many topics, so little time!  Recovery, beyond the 12 Steps, reducing stigma & shame, and "Breaking Free" (their new podcast) from anything that no longer serves us!

Recovery is a process of change through which people improve their health and wellness, live self-directed lives, and strive to reach their full potential.    According to SAMHSAthere are four major dimensions that support recovery:   Health—overcoming or managing one’s disease(s) or symptoms and making informed, healthy choices that support physical and emotional well-being. Home—having a stable and safe place to live. Purpose—conducting meaningful daily activities and having the independence, income, and resources to participate in society. Community—having relationships and social networks that provide support, friendship, love, and hope.

Stress and its negative effects on the mind and body have been the subject of many books, articles, and blog posts. A Google search turns up well over half a billion entries on the topic. All seem to agree that stress must be reduced for any hope of health and happiness. Not surprisingly, a cottage industry of stress-reduction techniques, devices, and other products has emerged.   The most popular suggestions for reducing stress involve various forms of relaxation and meditation. These help some of the people some of the time but not for very long. Even when you can take time out from stressful encounters to relax or meditate, you’ve done little to mitigate the invisible undercurrent of stress.

The belief that we stay strong by ignoring our difficult emotions is false. Thinking that we must ignore how we really feel in order to make a living, be productive, get off the couch, or just plain take care of ourselves, leaves us in a state of constant fear. Every life contains happy feelings and sad ones too; such is the human condition. If we are afraid of our sadness and don’t believe we can manage or live a life with it, then our life contains a constant presence that is a threat to our basic wellbeing. As a result, we are in a state of perpetual weakness.

Self-reflection can be defined as the capacity to exercise introspection and the willingness to learn more about one’s fundamental nature and purpose. It is usual to use the term introspection interchangeably with the term self-reflection because they mean more or less the same thing. Self-reflection is the opposite of external observation which refers to the process of the individual looking outside of themselves to the physical world.

Why don’t we take action to help ourselves?    I’m a trained psychotherapist, mental wellness coach, writer, and mentor.  In my work with professionals and through my writing, I hear from far too many women and men who share that they’ve put off getting help for mental wellness for months, years, even for a most of a lifetime. Deep down, they know they need help, and they know they’re miserable and can’t fix the situation by themselves, yet they so often do nothing to help themselves.

What needs to happen for individuals to achieve and sustain recovery? How is sustained recovery maintained? What degree of improvement in which areas of one's life are required for the individual to have something he or she does not want to lose to active substance use? We need to explore these questions and others to examine and improve our understanding of recovery and work to effectively promote it.

Using substances to self-medicate can lead to symptoms of mental illness. For example, the Anxiety and Depression Association of America says that alcohol and other substances can worsen anxiety symptoms.   Self-medication can have a negative impact on mental health and does very little to treat the underlying condition. Recognizing forms of self-medication can help you understand how substance abuse may be related to depression and other mental health conditions.

Lynn discusses the importance of understanding your beliefs about relaxation and how to be compassionate in your search for mental wellbeing.  “Some women and men aren’t actively looking for emotional and spiritual healing, but when the guidance to do the work actually becomes available to them, they choose it,” wrote Casarjian in her book. “We can’t choose what we don’t yet know exists,” of Healing: A Prisoner's Guide to Inner Power and Freedom by Robin Casarjian

Holidays are occasions for fun and celebration, and alcohol plays a big role in the festivities. But a combination of good cheer and abundant alcohol can take the fun too far, and the long weekends of Thanksgiving, Christmas, or the Fourth of July can lead to some very bad decisions or...

Automatic thoughts are images, words, or other kinds of mental activity that pop into your head in response to a trigger. These thoughts can seem mundane or unimportant, but they can, in fact, be extremely impactful. The types of automatic thoughts a person has can affect their health outcomes as well as their overall quality of life. In this episode, I will cover what automatic thinking is and how it affects people’s lives, what automatic thoughts look like, and some cool tool for breaking the cycle of negativity.

What does it mean to be meaningfully mentally well? Mental health refers to your overall psychological well-being. It encompasses the way you feel about yourself, the quality of your relationships, and your ability to regulate your feelings and cope with difficulties. Strong mental wellness isn’t just the absence of problems. Being mentally or emotionally healthy is so much more than being free of depression, anxiety, or other psychological issues. 

A physical or emotional addiction/dependence are actually the same thing.  They are changes in the structure of our brains which is our physical body.  These brain changes make emotional and behavioral regulation difficult and have a great impact on how we behave. 

Trust is defined as a firm belief in the reliability, truth, ability, or strength of someone or something.   Trust can help bring us closer to other people. Trusting others, such as family members and friends, can reassure us that we’ll be helped when we need it. It’s the foundation of any healthy relationship — including the relationship you have with yourself.   Trusting yourself can build up your confidence, make it easier for you to make decisions, and reduce your stress levels. And the good news is that even if you don’t trust yourself now, with some effort you can build up that trust over time.

  What are the differences between a lapse/ slip and relapse/return to using? Solutions that work H.A.L.T. Emotions  Stress False Confidence over humility Physical and Mental health Social isolation The good stuff of life  

Addiction does not just spring up one day. Often, several circumstances line up that, over time, cause a person who would otherwise enjoy casual drinking or avoid substance abuse to become addicted to drugs or alcohol. The process of developing an addiction, in this case, tends to occur over a series of stages and, like other chronic illnesses, often turns into a cycle of addiction, treatment or abstinence, and relapse. The multiple stages of addiction can occur over a short period of time, or they can take months or even years to develop. A person who has only occasionally had a casual drink may, over years, develop a habit that can turn into a larger problem.

Fear, also called stress affects everyone and everything. Fear. If you ever wonder what one's biggest challenge is in life than don’t think any further. It is fear. Everything boils down to fear. They say the biggest fear is fear for Fear Itself. And that’s what you have to deal with. Every day again. Every moment. Think about it. Any given moment you have the choice to face or numb fear. And with numbing fear I also include avoiding or walking away from it, so you don’t have to face it. Each day more and more of us are choosing to numb it.

Dr. Shonali Saha is a board-certified addiction medicine specialist and internist. She completed primary care/internal medicine residency at Cambridge Health Alliance of Harvard Medical School. She completed fellowships in both addiction and adolescent medicine at Johns Hopkins School of Medicine. She currently educates medical students, residents, and faculty on addiction medicine as an adjunct assistant professor at both the Emory and Morehouse Schools of Medicine.

Trying to avoid or suppress painful emotions is similar to being mired in quicksand. The harder we struggle to get free, the more anxiety and stress we experience, the deeper we sink and the more stuck we become. Avoidance of uncomfortable feelings inevitably backfires—extending and exacerbating our emotional pain. It is only when we can move into our experience and accept our emotions, observe them, allow ourselves to feel and express them, and let what is there to simply be, that they gradually and progressively lose their grip and begin to dissipate on their own.

Acceptance and Permission are a huge part of a healthy recovery.  Nothing humbles a person quite so fast as getting sick. Where once you felt confident, capable, and ready to take on the world, suddenly you’re curled up in the fetal position beneath a mound of snotty tissues.   The bad news is that it’s simply not possible to snap your fingers and be well again. (But kudos to whoever patents that technology in the future!) The good news is that a few tried-and-true strategies may help you recover more effectively from illness of any kind.

Burnout is one of those road hazards in life that high-achievers really should be keeping a close eye out for, but sadly—often because of their "I can do everything" personalities—they rarely see it coming. Because high-achievers are often so passionate about what they do, they tend to ignore the fact that they're working exceptionally long hours, taking on exceedingly heavy work loads, and putting enormous pressure on themselves to excel—all of which make them ripe for burnout.    

For someone struggling with a substance abuse problem, maintaining sobriety is often an everyday struggle. The potential for relapse is always there, but knowing the warning signs that could foreshadow a relapse can help to avoid it. It’s important for friends and family to be educated on what to look for as potential triggers for relapse, and it’s important for those in recovery to be able to monitor themselves as well.

Wherever you fall on the spectrum of substance use disorder, life in and around active addiction is often uncertain, unbalanced, unstructured, and unpredictable. That’s why a structured environment and routine are cornerstones of a successful recovery program. The research evidence and my experiences with clients make a strong case for the importance of setting up a clear structure and sticking to it. This means having a consistent routine and adhering to it every day. It means establishing a sense of organization and order with regard to daily tasks and responsibilities. It means attending to the basic activities of daily life, keeping a simple daily schedule that you can stick to, maintaining a balanced lifestyle, and making sure sobriety remains a priority. It might sound like a lot, but with a little help from the right supports, it’s completely possible, and it makes all the difference in the world.

Learning healthy coping skills is one of the most important parts of addiction recovery. For many people who struggle with addiction, substance use was their primary means of coping with life’s difficulties. Whether the issue was stress, anxiety, depression, or trauma, drugs or alcohol helped to relieve the distress. Recovery may appear daunting because you no longer have that crutch to lean on when things get tough. Therefore, a successful recovery depends on finding new ways to cope with old problems. Here are some healthier ways of coping with

Our addictions are a complicated blend of our traumas, our fears, our biochemical makeup and our pain responses. Blaming ourselves for our addictions is simplistic and loses sight of all the multiple factors that can go into them. What would it mean to have more understanding and compassion for ourselves, rather than choosing to blame and judge ourselves?

The American Society of Addiction Medicine (ASAM) defines addiction as a prolonged disease of the brain, which involves changes to the reward centers, leading to alterations in behaviors, drive, retention, and cognition. Medical researchers believe that a combination of genetics, environment, and family history all contribute to an individual’s risk of substance abuse throughout life. These factors may show up in an individual’s personality in specific ways, indicating a heightened risk for addiction to a drug or alcohol. 

When I first started to question the importance of alcohol and anxiety medication in my life, my confusion over, who to ask,  where to begin and who to trust quickly overwhelmed me and kept me from moving forward.  Year after year, month after month and finally day after day I searched online for The Answer.     Looking back, I wish someone had helped me list some options, identify some choices to gain more information, to help clear my mind and restore the functionality of my brain, my body.  

Effective communication is a connection between people that allows for the exchange of thoughts, feelings, and ideas, and leads to mutual understanding. People tend to take the communication process for granted. We generally figure that the communication between two or more people is no big deal. It just works. However, the reality is very different—the process of communication is actually impressively complex.

The truth of this relational dysfunction in adults is that there was some type of parental invalidation of their emotions when they were children. One can imagine a child coming home from school each day and a parent neglecting to process with them, espousing a “seen but not heard” stance. This child learns to not share emotions and cannot gain the capacity or vocabulary to understand what they are feeling. They have no safe space and instead grow up without receiving the empathy they need for healthy development. This can result in not having a lot of empathy for themselves or others around them. They are a “closed system” and may be unaware of the whybehind their lack of healthy communication.

“Based on my research and the research of other shame researchers, I believe that there is a profound difference between shame and guilt. I believe that guilt is adaptive and helpful – it’s holding something we’ve done or failed to do up against our values and feeling psychological discomfort. I define shame as the intensely painful feeling or experience of believing that we are flawed and therefore unworthy of love and belonging – something we’ve experienced, done, or failed to do makes us unworthy of connection. I don’t believe shame is helpful or productive. In fact, I think shame is much more likely to be the source of destructive, hurtful behavior than the solution or cure. I think the fear of disconnection can make us dangerous.”

Samantha asks "I have been going to meetings, talking to my sponsor, going to a psychologist, and going to a psychiatrist. My anxieties, depression, and insecurities have only seemed to deepen. Is there anything you suggest I do to help cope with all of this in sobriety?"

Two psychotherapists, Sherry Gaba, and Lynn Matti relate personal stories of how we develop unhealthy coping patterns of self-soothing to compensate. They “go deeper” into the cause and effect of feeling unsafe in our early years. 

Why do we struggle with first asking for help and then finding the right fit? Our fears, questions to ask, what to expect and how to challenge yourself and others to get what you need. 

What's the big deal with everyone calling themselves an introvert?  Why it's hip, but not the full story.  Learn how we can better understand who we are in order to better handle everyday life. 

A good cognitive therapist helps you examine your thoughts and consider how accurate and useful they are.   To recognize distorted thoughts, see yourself in a more balanced way, and build self-compassion.   ‘Positive thinking’ on the other hand would be telling yourself, “I’m not unlovable, I’m perfect in every way at every moment!!”  This is an exercise in futility because you know it is not true.  No one is perfect all the time!  This kind of positive thinking is ineffective and illogical.

Tips For Dry January, February and beyond that will help you make the most of time off of alcohol or other unhealthy behaviors. How to understand the good, the bad and how to move forward.

Family can be one of our greatest sources of physical security and emotional support. But family environments can also foster destructive emotions and behaviors, including substance abuse and addiction. The genetic ties that make blood relatives so close can also hold the seeds of compulsive or addictive behaviors, and the self-harming actions that children observe in their parents can become habits that affect their own lives as they grow.

Lynn shares valuable information for what kind of recovery pathways are available, what they consist of and how people successfully transform their lives.

In psychology, coping means to invest own conscious effort, to solve personal and interpersonal problems, in order to try to master, minimize or tolerate stress and conflict. The psychological coping mechanisms are commonly termed coping strategies or coping skills.    Why Does Trauma Affect Trust? Attachment Styles How We Learn to Cope. The Effects of Our Coping Styles in Adulthood and Unhealthy Behaviors How to better understand yourself are you avoidant or introverted? How to heal.

“To know pain is human. To need is human…Many of us are willing to extend a helping hand, but we’re very reluctant to reach out for help when we need it ourselves. It’s as if we’ve divided the world into ‘those who offer help’ and ‘those who need help.’ The truth is that we are both. Need is the most beautiful compact between humans.” ~ Brené Brown

What is Intuitive Self Coaching? A reactivation of your inner-tutor (in-tuition) learning to reopen the direct pathway to your wise self and connect to ancient wisdom.  While to some this may sound a wee bit woohooy, science supports what I teach. Oh, and contrary to popular belief, your thoughts and worries are not your intuition. Most of us learn to override our gut feelings and hence numb out our intuitive self-wisdom with angst and seemingly helpful nonsense (addictive behaviors and surrounding ourselves with peeps who support them).  This is a program designed for clients who want lasting change.

When a family member is suffering from addiction, other members of the family typically adopt certain behaviors, thoughts, and attitudes to cope with the destructive impact of substance use. These coping strategies may seem like the only way to deal with the addiction, but in fact, are often very unhealthy and harmful

What makes women happy? We have so many choices, yet often have difficulty feeling good about what comes next. What do we turn to? Self-help, surgery, sex? Money, power, career? The options for women now are endless. But has too much choice killed off contentment? Lynn dives deep and gets to some solutions along the way. 

What makes women happy? We have so many choices, yet often have difficulty feeling good about what comes next. What do we turn to? Self-help, surgery, sex? Money, power, career? The options for women now are endless. But has too much choice killed off contentment? Lynn dives deep and gets to some solutions along the way. 

Lynn shares her thoughts on why we are asking this question more often.  Across most generations, genders, and demographics in the U.S., drug use has increased. Whether discussing heroin, prescription drugs, marijuana or synthetics, American drug abuse has reached alarming levels. With so much information available about the dangers of drug use and headline after headline about record opioid abuse and overdoses, one would think that these numbers would be headed in the opposite direction. Why have Americans seemingly gone backward in the fight against drug abuse?

Lynn shares suggestions to help establish boundaries throughout the holidays and throughout the year.  Knowing where your boundaries lie is critical to leading a well-balanced life but this time can elicit more boundary-crossing and from so many different sources that it's imperative to protect your ‘sacred space.’

Each year, the holiday season brings friends and family members together to celebrate each other’s company. However, holidays can be an equally stressful time, where more family time can be emotional and those without close family/friends may feel increased loneliness, isolation, and depression. Many people find substance use as a way of coping, which is particularly dangerous for those in recovery.

Let’s just set the record straight once and for all shall we?  Lynn shares the accurate and up to date information you need to hear, learn and know. 

The holiday season is filled with triggers: financial pressure, family conflicts and large gatherings. Typically, the holidays involve seeing old friends, family and situations that may have involved drinking or using drugs in the past.  So here are some thoughts and tips I’ve gathered.

Located in Portland, OR, Olivia Pennelle (Liv) is an experienced writer, journalist, and coach. She is the founder of the popular site Liv’s Recovery Kitchen, a site dedicated to helping people flourish in their recovery. 

There are a lot of reasons for us to learn to slow down, relax, and live with more peace and joy. When we are centered, calm, and joyful, we have so much more to offer our families, friends, and communities. We are open to discovering our inner strengths, and are able to improve our relationships with ourselves and those we love.

Life changes are inevitable. Whether it’s a job change, the beginning or end of a relationship, starting a family, or a loss, transitions are part of the human experience – yet can often be difficult to adapt to. Through a little alcohol or any other substance use or overuse in the mix and the chaos can be overwhelming.  Transformation literally means to move across or through in order to change the shape. With the transition completed, the idea is to bring a new order; to create a new shape to your life.

Codependency and perfectionism often involve exploration of early childhood issues and their connection to current dysfunctional/unhealthy behavior patterns. Getting in touch with deep-rooted feelings of hurt, loss, and anger will allow you to reconstruct appropriate relationship dynamics.

Kelley Kitley is a rising international women’s mental health expert and author of “My Self”, an autobiography which lays bare the vulnerability and isolation unique to Kitley, and to women in general while revealing the transformation of loss into a surplus of riches beyond even the very author's wildest imagination.

Change might not come easily, but psychologists have developed a number of ways to effectively help people change their behavior. Many of these techniques are used by therapists, physicians, and teachers. Researchers have also proposed theories to explain how change occurs. Understanding the elements of change, the stages of change, and ways to work through each stage can help you achieve your goals.

Shine, Define and Realign   Awareness, Insight and behavior change   We all have the capacity, inner wisdom and intelligence to define and shape the world we live in.  Not the big global village, but the everyday life we walk around in.  Importantly, we have everything we need to achieve hope, harmony and happiness right inside our minds, bodies and souls.

Shine, Define and Realign   Awareness, Insight and behavior change   We all have the capacity, inner wisdom and intelligence to define and shape the world we live in.  Not the big global village, but the everyday life we walk around in.  Importantly, we have everything we need to achieve hope, harmony and happiness right inside our minds, bodies and souls.

Motivation is defined as the process that initiates, guides, and maintains goal-oriented behaviors. But what if we lack motivation and really need to change?  Lynn answers that burning question.

Learning to suppress or overly control our emotions has serious consequences. When we avoid our feelings, we tune out important clues as to who we are. We limit our capacity for self-understanding and fail to fully experience or shape our lives.

This week take a listen to learn this great secret tip!

Someone may appear to be one of the nicest and most selfless people you could ever hope to meet.  But hidden beneath the surface, there may likely be a simmering cauldron of conflict, rage and resentment.  Like many who are extreme people-pleasers, they find it impossibly difficult to say 'No', and have an uncontrollable, almost obsessive need for the approval of others, irrespective of whether they are colleagues, family, friends or strangers. 

Omar Pinto, founder of the recovery life coaching community SHAIR SPACE. of The SHAIR Podcast features new inspirational recovery stories every Tuesday.  He shares how he learned more about his feelings in the last two years of recovery than during his previous 13!

I get the logic of labeling, but I'm just tired of it. Not only the oldies, but the new ones too. Initially I called myself an alcoholic, but no more, it's not who I was or am. I was a person who got a lot of things done, really well, the old "high functioning" drinker. But, I was also a person struggling with how to cope with life, who hid it well, until I couldn't any longer...really didn't want to. How about we gather all this incredible energy for AF & DF recovery and take a lead from the documentary The Anonymous People and practice a new way!

Laurel Anne Stark is speaker, writer, mentor, entrepreneur and women in long term sobriety.  Laurel Anne learned from her “work hard, play hard” mantra and tells how she transformed her life of “trainwrecking around” by breaking up with alcohol and becoming a seeker of the sustainable home, health and work life. 

Without consciously acknowledging the need that is triggering the emotional reaction, we become enslaved to the need. On the other hand, if we honestly declare our needs—that we had expected people to treat us in a particular way and had hoped events would unfold as we had planned—then we can begin to see life more objectively. From this perspective, we are freer to choose our reactions.

In today’s society, we want immediate relief from discomfort, be it physical or emotional. The easiest, and most dangerous response for these women is to begin drinking just a little earlier in the day or take one or two of those pain killers in the medicine cabinet…or both. Such behavior is easily justified.  “All my friends drink during the day” or, “It IS a legal prescription, so what is the harm?” It is a very slippery slope and by the time awareness dawns, these individuals are frequently fully addicted.

Everybody is stressed, be it about a job, family, relationship, daily life or whatever. In this episode we reclaim the true understanding and meaning of what it is to be stressed and get to the core of how to beat it. 

People with perfectionism hold themselves to impossibly high standards. They think what they do is never good enough. Some people mistakenly believe that perfectionism is a healthy motivator, but that’s not the case. Perfectionism can make you feel unhappy with your life. It can lead to depression, anxiety, eating disorders, and self-harm. Eventually, it can also lead you to stop trying to succeed. Even mild cases can interfere with your quality of life, affecting your personal relationships, education, or work. A desire to achieve is healthy. But an irrational desire to always be perfect can cause problems. In this episode you will learn: Striving for excellence vs Perfectionism. How to identify your brand of perfectionism. Where does this desire loop come from? Super fun coping skills for becoming less perfect!

Perfectionism is a tricky little beast, isn’t it? For some, it’s a form of motivation – pushing one towards their goals, accomplishing feats, and helping them to succeed. But, let’s be real. There’s a fine line to walk with perfectionism, and the majority of us (I presume) fall on the wrong side – the side that causes us to obsess over small details, beat ourselves up when we think we fall short, and expect way too much of others.  Well, this past week it totally snuck up on me and almost derailed my motivation...take a listen and learn how I coped!

In the company of Women A place where women support one another with wisdom and celebrated each others’ successes and joys. Removing from our day to day lives the substances, behaviors, and beliefs that numb our creativity, intuition, and intelligence. We believe this is not only possible but vital for our collective future. This is why SoberSoul and The Recovery Lounge were created. To provide a safe place for women to find their voice and shine their light. A community of Recovering female leaders and change makers working along-side each other for a more beautiful future. We Are All Recovering From Something.

I chose today’s topic because of the emotions I have felt in the last week due to the intensity of the media coverage regarding the deaths of two high profile people.  My heart aches for them both, along with the families now suffering the layers of pain associated with a loved one who has taken their own life.   Many of us in the mental wellness healing field have been discussing how to best talk about this subject in an effort to help share this silent and scary trend which we have been observing in the last decade.     For my part, I have decided to focus on talking about a subject which Oprah called “a game-changer,  she stated "This story is so important to me and I believe to our culture that if I could dance on the tabletops right now to get people to pay attention to it, I would. It is definitively changed the way I see people in the world”.  Although Oprah shined her huge heart-centered world spotlight this last March, Adverse Childhood Experiences or ACES, I have seen little written about it since. 

Main Points:  How to recognize unhealthy boundaries? Breaking down boundaries. What’s ok and not is not ok, for your wellbeing? Expectations are premeditated Resentments! How we come to develop poor boundaries. 10 Doables for setting and building better boundaries.

Hey SoberSouls!  Lynn Matti here, the sober therapist, welcome!  This week I am entirely inspired by a recent blog by Brene Brown, The Midlife Unraveling at brenebrown.com.  I also have a request for my weekly listeners.  Although most of you are listening via my website, I am hoping you may be willing to visit Itunes and leave a quick rating or written review.  If you do not like the podcast, please let me know why if it is something I can improve or change via email at [email protected].  Thanks to the over  250 Itunes subscribers so far!

My very first guest here on on The SoberSoul Recovery Podcast is Veronica Valli.  Veronica has worked as a therapist and life coach specializing in addiction for over ten years; her experience includes working with young people in the criminal justice system, primary care adult treatment, outreach services and private practice.   Veronica has also worked in local government, delivering local drug and alcohol strategies.  As a recovered alcoholic and drug addict, she has personal experience of what it takes to recover from an addiction. Veronica struggled with alcoholism through most of her twenties. As a binge drinker, she was aware for some time that something was wrong but was unable to define what it was; a chance meeting led to her finally getting help and turning her life around.  At the height of her addiction, Veronica was unable to go to work without the aid of a drink; her life and confidence were in tatters. She got sober in 2000 at the age of twenty-seven.  She now uses this experience to help and inspire others, through her Soberful program, her private coaching and specialized treatments at veronicavalli.com.  She fully believes that all alcoholics and addicts can recover if they have access to the right kind of help, and that they can then go on to live life to the full.

In this Episode you will learn: Why overusing a substance is a mental health issue. Most people who overuse a substance or controlling behaviors have a mental health issue The Yin and Yang of treating mental pain with alcohol or drugs. Self talk that keeps us stuck in time The “single lane” choice that creates a roadblock to sustainable change recovery. Integrating your recovery care choices

In this Episode you will learn: Who Benefits from developing a Buffer Zone/Bubble Wrap (aka-Toolbox). The top 10 reasons people relapse on drink, drug or behaviors. How to Integrating the 5 elements of The SoberSoul Recovery practice to prevent relapse. Why the words easy, effortless and empowerment keep us on the road to relapse. This show is for you and anyone else who is seeking a different path in life. I have grown a following online by being my authentic self and practicing what I preach, teach and share with my tribe.  I am passionate about educating  women & men desiring a different relationship with drugs, alcohol, problematic patterns and most importantly, themselves...with honest, truthful, accurate and clinically informed up to date information.

Hey Everyone!  Lynn Matti here, the sober therapist, welcome to the  episode #8  of  The Sobersoul Recovery Podcast.  If you are just tuning in, thank you for finding me and if you are a returning listener welcome back!  In this Episode you will learn: What I do and have done to maintain a healthy Recovery. Some of my mistakes and what I learned from them.  The “gems” from my professional work & my own Recovery. How I have reversed my “stages of addiction” My  5 elements of Recovery practice, what they are and how I learned and use them. 

In this episode, Lynn gets real about the long overdue conversation about “Mommy Drinking” in the media and beyond. Ignoring political correctness and diving deep into the history and social root causes of this recently developing women’s health phenomenon.  She talks about the recent segment on The Today Show hosted by Megyn Kelly featuring psychotherapist Kelley Kitley, who was joined by Laura McKowen and Aidan Donnelley Rowley.  Reviewing the segment and expanding on the rapid increase in heavy and binge drinking among women, especially mothers.  Lynn addresses the shame the intially comes along with being honest with medical professionals and her personal experience with feeling and overcoming stigma and self-defeating beliefs while paving her road to recovery. Take a listen to find these and more answers.  **Please forgive the recording quality of this episode:)  Nearby construction, a new kitten among old two dogs and some tech & time challenges made for a less than perfect sound quality for this one.  I promise to be back to normal-ish next episode.** Much love and hope, Lynn

In this episode you will learn: Differences between triggers, cravings and urges. Why do some cravings lead to relapse while others do not? The link between cravings and behaviors. Why using willpower (control) actually leads to more cravings. What is the connection between anxiety and cravings? What explains the mysterious urge to do something that has caused so much damage in the past? What makes that simple thought pop into your mind? When you are doing everything in your power to do better, when you are at your most committed, what brings that powerful image of chocolate into your brain, leading your car toward the grocery store just minutes before it closes? What convinces you to give up what you worked so hard to achieve?  Take a listen to find these and more answers!

Oh, my gosh, I am so excited to get to this point in our audio relationship with today’s topic, Emotional vs Physical dependence and why does it matter?  What I discovered years ago, while still in my early training and I’m about to share, was and is so powerful that shifted not only how I understand and live with myself, but informed me about a better way, I think, to relate to and with most peeps and my life and especially how I coach and counsel clients. It’s super Neuronerdy!  But first, a heartfelt thank you to all who are taking the time to listen and respond to the first 4 episodes of this podcast, I am overjoyed and humbled by the response. I truly had no idea how many people were going to tune in, no matter how much I understood and realized how many of us suffer in silence. To have, more than 150 downloads per episode makes my heart sing.  My hope is and will continue to be that you are not in this alone. Together we can change and together we can flip the crazy insane way we treat those of us who choose to live life without numbing ourselves.  You should be so proud of your efforts, no matter where you are on your journey to change behavior which no longer serves you. Thank you.  Lynn

Are you curious about stopping or learning to moderate your use of alcohol or drugs?  Maybe your just questioning if “this” is the lifestyle you want. In this week’s episode, Lynn shares an issue that everyone faces when looking at changing their behavior around drinking, drugging or other problematic behaviors which may no longer suit your life. Do I really have a problem? How do you decide to quit? Can I moderate?  She offers clarification on the vocabulary that keeps the stigma alive and gives solution focused recommendations for moving forward. Learn the 3 types of problematic behaviors and see where you fall. Lynn gives you two important freebies today to help you figure out where you fall on the Substance Use Disorder spectrum and how to measure your motivation for change.  She shares her journey through awareness, insight and chosen behavior change from a negative to a much more positive life.

This week on The SoberSoul Recovery Podcast “Why I Drank and Popped Pills” Get the scoop on this BIG question “Why Do I _____ So Much?” Fill in the blank with any behavior that is causing you distress, because we are all doing something too much. This and more from Lynn, a professionally trained and personally tested addiction expert.

This week we first offer a little clarity on the difference between addiction, dependence and substance use disorders. Lynn clears up confusion surrounding the "grey areas" of the terminology used in describing and defining the spectrum of problematic use alcohol and drugs.  She describes the how to better understand where you are in your use and that there are behavioral, physical and social changes professionals look for when diagnosing. The workshop topic for this episode is understanding the negative of patterns of the thoughts and stories that often consume our daily lives. Lynn shares her journey through awareness, insight and chosen behavior change from a negative to a much more positive life. 

Welcome to the SoberSoul Recovery Podcast. Here, we shine a little light on the overuse of alcohol and drugs as a way of coping with our every day stress. Each week, we'll explore ways to start, build, and master a sober life that you don't need to escape from. Hey, everyone. My name is Lynn Matti, and I am so very excited about today. Thank you for joining me on this very special day as I launch my long held dream, the Sober Soul Recovery Podcast. This has been on my mind, and in my heart for a really longtime. In case you don't know who I am, which of course is most of you, here's a little introduction. I'm a young-hearted, old soul of 54 years. I'm a counselor, a coach, a mentor, a re-inventories, a sober soul, and a healer. I am a woman on a mission to rebel against this addictive cultural normality that we have in our society today. My goal is to offer professionally, curated, and up-to-date educational information about substance use and overuse, and to help people overcome this idea that if we just numb ourselves enough, life will be better. I want to share the joy, the contentment, and of course the challenges of living life sober. SoberSoulRecovery.net