In this video, we'll discuss the key points from Patrick King's book "How to Speak Effectively: Influence, Engage, & Charm" (How to be More Likable and Charismatic Book 29). This book is a comprehensive guide to improving your communication skills and making a lasting impression on others.Hear it Here - https://adbl.co/3N9lsjI00:00:00 How to Speak Effectively00:06:51 How To Use The Ladder In Your Own Life.00:28:30 Chunking - Adjusting The Zoom Button.00:42:58 Think Before You Speak.We'll cover topics such as: The Ladder of Inference: Using this framework to understand your assumptions and biases. How to Use the Ladder in Your Own Life: Practical tips for applying the Ladder of Inference to your daily interactions. Framing: How to present your ideas in a persuasive and engaging way. Chunking: How to break down complex information into smaller, more manageable chunks. Conversational Extremists: The Nitpicker and The Philosopher: How to deal with these two common conversational partners. Think Before You Speak: The importance of pausing and considering your words before you speak. Understanding "Clean Communication": What it is and how to achieve it.

Ready to captivate audiences and command attention? Join us as we delve into the world of charisma with Patrick King's groundbreaking book, "Massive Charisma." Hear it Here - https://adbl.co/3OJ4V72In this episode, we'll explore the essence of charisma, providing a practical definition and zooming in on the specific qualities that make a truly charismatic individual. Discover how to cultivate a powerful charismatic aura that will leave a lasting impression on everyone you meet. Don't miss this opportunity to unlock your inner potential and become the charismatic leader you've always aspired to be!

Tired of awkward conversations? Learn how to avoid the top conversational landmines that can ruin your social interactions. In this video, we dive into Chapter 1 of Patrick King's book, How to Engage, Connect, & Captivate, and explore the 5 things you should never do when talking to others. Discover how to avoid playing the cool guy, being a boring know-it-all, bringing your ego to the party, bragging, and mismatching energy. By understanding these conversational pitfalls, you can become a more engaging and likable person.How to Engage, Connect, & Captivate: Become the Social Presence You've Always Wanted To Be. Small Talk, Meaningful Communication, & Deep Connections By: Patrick Kinghttp://bit.ly/EngageConnectKimg00:00:00 How to Engage, Connect, & Captivate00:00:14 Conversational Landmines.00:01:54 What To Avoid 1 .- Playing At Being The Cool Guy.00:08:58 What To Avoid 2 .- Being A Boring Know-It-All.00:16:06 What To Avoid 3 .- Bringing Your Ego To The Party.00:24:50 Thing To Avoid 4 .- Bragging.00:30:58 Thing To Avoid 5 .- Mismatched Energy.https://www.amazon.com/dp/B0952B32XQ

Want to know what people are truly thinking without them saying a word? Join Patrick King as he dives into the fascinating world of human behavior. In this episode, we'll explore the art of reading emotions and predicting behavior. Discover how to differentiate between primary and secondary emotions, and learn to listen to what the body is saying. You can gain valuable insights into people's attitudes and intentions by understanding emotions. Don't miss this opportunity to become a master of human interaction!00:00:00 Become A Human Behavior Scientist00:11:15 Understanding Allows Us To Predict.00:27:57 Learning To Perceive Emotion.00:37:12 Listening To What The Body Is Saying.Become A Human Behavior Scientist: Observe, Read, Understand, and Decode People With Minimal Information (How to be More Likable and Charismatic Book 18) By: Patrick KingHear it Here - https://adbl.co/424plO2https://www.amazon.com/dp/B09KQFLNSCBecome a student and scientist of body language, mannerisms, and small tells. Become a “mind reader.”

Discover the science of human connection with psychologist Robin Dunbar in "The Social Animal." Explore the psychology behind relationships and social interactions in this captivating book.The Science of Social Intelligence: 45 Methods to Captivate People, Make a Powerful Impression, and Subconsciously Trigger Social Status and Value [Second ... (The Psychology of Social Dynamics Book 7) By Patrick KingHear it Here - https://bit.ly/socialintelking00:00:00 The Science of Social Intelligence00:06:35 The Importance Of Being Social.00:17:02 The Social Brain Hypothesis.00:26:00 The Limits Of Our Sociality.https://www.amazon.com/dp/B0893ZRW1BIn this video, we'll explore the fascinating world of social intelligence and human connection. We'll discuss the importance of being social, the evolution of our social brains, and the effects of loneliness. We'll also delve into the limits of our sociality and how to effectively focus our social efforts.Here are some key takeaways from this video: Social intelligence is about how to fit in, charm people, and allow socializing to help rather than hinder you in achieving your goals. Our brains grew and developed as a result of needing to be social. Humans are social animals and need connection to thrive. There are limits to our social interactions, and we should focus our efforts on those who are most important to us.I hope you enjoy this video!

Learn the subtle art of likability and how to make people crave your presence. Discover the secrets of context-dependent memory and how it can enhance your social skills.The Science of Likability: 67 Evidence-Based Methods to Radiate Charisma, Make a Powerful Impression, Win Friends, and Trigger Attraction (4th Ed.) (The Psychology of Social Dynamics Book 12) By: Patrick KingHear it Here - https://adbl.co/3BXFuHQ

Learn the power of mindset in people skills before you open your mouth! Discover the Clever Hans effect and its impact on communication and perception.Improve Your People Skills: How to Connect With Anyone, Communicate Effectively, Develop Deep Relationships, and Become a People Person By Patrick KingHear it Here - https://adbl.co/3nQxB0N00:00:00 Improve Your People Skills00:05:10 Hanlon’s Razor And Assumptions.00:13:52 The Curiosity Factor.00:25:05 Walk A Mile For Empathy.00:28:36 Let’s take Patricia Moore, for example.00:31:34 It evokes the quote by Brad Meltzerhttps://www.amazon.com/dp/B07XK7WBW2Learn how to adapt, win people over, and handle just about any social situation.Your qualifications and intelligence aren’t what will move you forward in life. People skills (soft skills, interpersonal skills, social skills, and likability) are. They allow you to effortlessly glide through life and roll with the punches, as well as maximize the situations you’ll find yourself in. When your relationships are harmonious and authentic, the whole world opens up.

Make Friends Easily: How to Charm and Connect in Record Time By: Patrick KingHear it Here - https://adbl.co/3u0rxtc00:00:00 Make Friends Easily00:06:17 The Friendship Formula.00:18:17 How To Use Schafer’S Formula To Your Benefit.00:23:22 Create Your Own Reality Distortion Field.00:28:39 Stay Present.00:38:42 Reciprocal Curiosity.00:52:02 Assume Nothing.00:54:54 Person, Not Story.00:57:29 You Go First.https://www.amazon.com/dp/B0CDWF4WLJ Making new friends doesn't have to be a chore. Learn how to do it quickly, efficiently, and effectively.Networking events? Big group dinners? Karaoke parties? Please, no.Get past boring small talk and deeply connect with others.Make Friends Easily - it's a simple task, isn't it? But why is it so hard in our modern age? There are so many distractions, so why should people pay attention to you? That's your challenge and task, and this book provides the answer. You'll learn how to become a presence that people crave, how to get past shallow conversation, and how to make sure that your connections are long and lasting.It's simple, but not easy. So pick up this book to make it easier.Discover the secrets to building lasting friendships and creating a powerful personal presence. In this video, we'll explore Dr. Jack Schafer's "friendship formula" and learn how to apply it to your own life. We'll also dive into the concept of a reality distortion field and uncover the techniques used by charismatic individuals to captivate others.Learn how to: Increase proximity, frequency, duration, and intensity to foster deeper connections. Create a strong personal presence and leave a lasting impression. Practice active listening and genuine empathy to build trust and understanding. Overcome social anxiety and develop effective communication skills.Whether you're looking to make new friends or strengthen existing relationships, this video has something valuable to offer.

How To Be Hilarious and Quick-Witted in Everyday Conversation (How to be More Likable and Charismatic Book 14) By: Patrick KingHear it Here - https://bit.ly/BeHilarious00:00:00 How To Be Hilarious and Quick-Witted in Everyday Conversation00:06:37 Know Your Humor Style.00:10:22 Finding The Humor In Everyday Life.00:17:28 Consume More Comedy.00:23:06 Puns And Dad Jokes.00:29:03 What Funny Stories Are Made Of.00:35:31 Funny Analogies.00:36:37 The Death penalty and the McRib.00:39:21 The Holy Trinity.00:42:40 The Art Of Misdirection.00:49:31 Be Oddly Specific.https://www.amazon.com/dp/B09DBPMF23Exact phrases to develop your sense of humor, master witty remarks, make people laugh, and be funnier – even if you’re not naturally funny.How To Be Hilarious and Quick-Witted in Everyday Conversation is full of strategies that dissect, break down, and analyze all of the types of humor that you’ll encounter in daily conversation – stuff you can really use with people you talk to. We’re not all trying to become standup comedians, and this isn’t a book about ha-ha jokes with setups and punch lines. These are little tips and tactics for you to become noticeably quick and clever.Make a better impression on people, put them at ease, charm them, and make them smile with you.Learn witticisms, quips, retorts, comebacks, and wisecracks without being cheesy or corny. Don’t worry if you feel like you’ve never understood humor or how to be funny. I’ve done the work for you and analyzed everyone from comedy writers to standup comedians and given you step-by-step, complete guidance to use common joke structures in everyday situations. Adaptable to any premise, topic, or setting!Strategies to instantly be clever and witty and sound like a world-class comedian.Patrick King is an internationally bestselling author and sought-after Social Skills and Conversation Coach. He teaches building rapport, and a major part of that is using humor to connect with others – shared moments of laughter are incredible bonding moments, and you'll be able to create them without being "that guy/girl".Humor is the highway to the relationships you want in life.•What makes an impactful comedic delivery and storytelling.•How to use irony and sarcasm conversationally.•How to create and build a banter chain with others.•Injecting role play into any situation.•How to play on people’s expectations and sense of contrast.•The art of misconstruing.•Why relatability is so darn funny.•The famous “comic triple.”#BeHilarious #Charismatic #EverydayConversation #Hilarious #PatrickKing #SocialSkills #RussellNewton #NewtonMG #PatrickKing #PatrickKingConsulting #SocialSkillsCoaching #HowToBeFunny #ABeginner'SGuideToHumor

Neuroscience-proven guidelines to think, act, and become smarter ASAP. It’s not what you know, it’s how you think.00:00:00 Practical Intelligence00:00:17 Look Beneath The Surface.00:09:15 Curious As A Cat.00:19:25 A Skeptic’s View.00:28:10 The Critical Thinker.00:36:56 Paul-Elder Thinking.You’ve been fooled before. You’ve missed things. You’ve been slow on the uptake and others have passed you by. Radically transform your thinking for both speed AND accuracy.Think quickly on your feet to solve problems, overcome obstacles, and win arguments.Practical Intelligence is not a common “think smarter” book. No, it starts from biological bases of analytical thinking, and how we can re-program ourselves for deep insight. This book provides real, actionable tool after tool, because smart thinking is all about HOW, and not why or what. The bottom line is that you’ll be able to apply this book’s thinking models immediately, until they become habit.Better decision-making, smarter reasoning, and greater mental clarity.Patrick King is an internationally bestselling author. He has sold over a million books. His writing draws of a variety of sources, from research, academic experience, coaching, and real life experience.Learn to ask the intelligent questions, draw insight, and analyze situations.•How the body and brain must work together for quick thinking.•What it truly means to think deeply and analyze.•How to think about your thinking, and the obstacles that short circuit your good intentions.Science-based techniques to train your brain for optimal performance.•Mental models for optimal decision-making.•How to train your brain for speed.•Tips for divergent and creative thinking - generating ideas.Never get fooled again and find the truth in situations quickly.At first glance, most things seem fine. And maybe ignorance is bliss. But to think clearly, deeply, quickly, and effectively - you’ll discover just how much of your life you have been missing, for better or worse.

Read People Like a Book: How to Analyze, Understand, and Predict People’s Emotions, Thoughts, Intentions, and Behaviors (How to be More Likable and Charismatic Book 9)By: Patrick King Hear it Here - https://bit.ly/readpeoplekinghttps://www.amazon.com/dp/B0BTYQXK6200:00:00 Read People Like a Book00:00:04 Why You’Re Probably Doing It Wrong.00:00:06 The Problem Of Objectivity.00:00:10 Motivation As A Behavioral Predictor.00:00:16 Our Inner Child Still Lives.00:00:18 The Motivation Factor—Pleasure Or Pain.00:00:23 The Pyramid Of Needs.00:00:28 Defense Of The Ego.Speed read people, decipher body language, detect lies, and understand human nature. Is it possible to analyze people without them saying a word? Yes, it is. Learn how to become a “mind reader” and forge deep connections.How to get inside people’s heads without them knowing.Hear it Here - http://bit.ly/readpeoplekingRead People Like a Book isn’t a normal book on body language of facial expressions. Yes, it includes all of those things, as well as new techniques on how to truly detect lies in your everyday life, but this book is more about understanding human psychology and nature.We are who we are because of our experiences and pasts, and this guides our habits and behaviors more than anything else. Parts of this book read like the most interesting and applicable psychology textbook you’ve ever read. Take a look inside yourself and others!Understand the subtle signals that you are sending out and increase your emotional intelligence.Patrick King is an internationally bestselling author and social skills coach. His writing draws of a variety of sources, from scientific research, academic experience, coaching, and real life experience.Learn the keys to influencing and persuading others.• What people’s limbs can tell us about their emotions.• Why lie detecting isn’t so reliable when ignoring context.• Diagnosing personality as a means to understanding motivation.• Deducing the most with the least amount of information.• Exactly the kinds of eye contact to use and avoidFind shortcuts to connect quickly and deeply with strangers.The art of reading and analyzing people is truly the art of understanding human nature. Consider it like a cheat code that will allow you to see through people’s actions and words.Decode people’s thoughts and intentions, and you can go in any direction you want with them.#DrJamesDrikell #DrRayBull #FloridaMaximaCorporation #JayOlson #JoeNavarro #PatrickKing #RussellNewton #NewtonMG #PatrickKing #PatrickKingConsulting #SocialSkillsCoaching #ReadPeopleLikeaBook #UnlockTheSecretsOfPeople #MasterTheArtOfReadingAnyone

Learn how to stop people-pleasing and break free from the need to be liked. Say goodbye to the disease to please and start living for yourself!Stand Up For Yourself, Set Boundaries, & Stop Pleasing Others (if that’s okay with you…) (Be Confident and Fearless Book 9) By: Patrick KingHear it Here - https://adbl.co/3To6NDuhttps://www.amazon.com/dp/B0B7GWJN4F

Improve Your Conversations: Think on Your Feet, Witty Banter, and Always Know What to Say with Improv Comedy Techniques (2nd Edition) (How to be More Likable and Charismatic Book 10)By Patrick KingHear it Here - https://bit.ly/improvking00:00:00 Improve Your Conversations00:09:46 Spontaneity and Flow00:15:41 Emotional Intelligence00:21:26 Play00:24:50 Make it Easyhttps://www.amazon.com/dp/B08RY4HMHXDoes your mind blank in conversation and create awkward silence? Do you run out of things to say and struggle to keep dialogue flowing?(A) Conversation isn’t scripted, (B) it’s 100% unpredictable, and (C) it can be terrifying at times. How do you prepare for such a thing? By learning how to apply improv comedy techniques to roll with any punch and improve your conversations and social interactions.Become quicker and more clever in daily conversation.Improv(e) Your Conversations teaches the ingenious rules of improv comedy that allow performers to turn boring prompts into memorable interactions worthy of standing ovations. This means there are real frameworks and templates to escape interview mode small talk – and start connecting and building rapport from the moment you say “Hello.” This book goes through over 15 of the most helpful and insightful improv comedy techniques with countless real-life examples to make you a great talker.Learn the conversational secrets of the world’s best comedians.Patrick King is an internationally bestselling author and social skills coach. His writing draws of a variety of sources, from scientific research, academic experience, coaching, and real life experience.Over 15 actionable tips that are actually practical and relateable.•The three easy ways to always know what to say, even when your mind goes blank.•What Sherlock Holmes has to do with great rapport.•How to read people better and what to look for.•The one goal you must always keep in mind (that you probably don’t even know).Adapt, witty comeback, reply, and charm in record time.•What causes awkward silences and how to prevent them.•How your conversation should resemble a movie.•How to “flip the switch” to be more entertaining.Conversation skills are the gatekeeper to the rest of your life.Improving your conversations gives you the ability to turn a random encounter into a flowing conversation, into a lasting friendship. Fewer acquaintances and more friends, less small talk and more true substance.•Better networking, better career placement, better job interviews.•New friendships, improved relationships, and being more attractive to the opposite sex.•Instant likability and great first impressions." #Banter #Comedy #Conversation #Improv #ImprovComedyTechniques #ImproveYourConversations #PatrickKing #RussellNewton #NewtonMG #ImproveYourConversations #MasterTheArtOfConversation:LearnFromImprovComedy

How to Extract Info, Secrets, and Truth: Make People Reveal Their True Thoughts and Intentions Without Them Even Knowing It (How to be More Likable and Charismatic Book 12) By: Patrick KingHear it Here - https://bit.ly/ExtractInfohttps://www.amazon.com/dp/B093ZRPCDK00:00:00.000 How to Extract Info, Secrets, and Truth00:02:59.000 Look At My Face.00:14:44.640 Body Talk.00:33:09.000 Putting It All Together.00:49:18.560 Thinking In Terms Of Message Clusters.Learn to quickly read people and draw conclusions from seemingly innocent and easy questions.Some people are forthcoming, and others are not so much. Either they are guarded, or they are deliberately hiding something. Well, whatever the case, this book is how you crack them and learn exactly what they aren’t saying.Tips from FBI interrogators, psychologists, and famous lawyers.How to Extract Info, Secrets, and Truth turns you into an expert reader of intentions, behavior, thoughts, and emotions. The tips in this book are used by professionals to extract valuable knowledge worth millions of dollars.You’ll read about body language, speed reading, thin slicing, and every other technique that has been scientifically proven.The goal of this book is to arm you with tools to uniquely understand and peel back the layers on people before they even know it. No one will be a puzzle to you anymore.How to subtly direct a conversation to exactly what you want. Exactly what to look and listen for.Patrick King is an internationally bestselling author and social skills coach. His writing draws of a variety of sources, from scientific research, academic experience, coaching, and real life experience.Protect yourself from those trying to probe you.The value of knowing how to extract information is in understanding human nature. That is the true purpose of this book. Once you know how people think, and what patterns tend to form, you’ll be armed with a powerful tool for the rest of your life. #Charismatic #PatrickKing #RevealTheirTrueThoughts #RussellNewton #NewtonMG #PatrickKing #PatrickKingConsulting #SocialSkillsCoaching #HowtoExtractInfo #Secrets #andTruth #BecomeAHumanLieDetector:ReadPeopleLikeABook

00:00:00 Intentional Communication00:03:31 You versus Me ...or Us versus the Problem00:13:22 Assume People Are Doing Their Best.00:24:31 Telling The Third Story.00:34:08 Address the Higher Self, Acknowledge the Emotional Self00:44:54 Mastering Self-Differentiation Intentional Communication: Emotional Validation, Listening, Empathy, and the Art of Harmonious Relationships By: Patrick KingHear it Here - https://adbl.co/3HhRPImhttps://www.amazon.com/dp/B09MPQJ3BZ How to read between the lines and eliminate conflict while improving every single relationship.Communication is not just chit-chat, and it is not just the words coming out of people’s mouths. It’s like an onion with layers and layers of nuance, and the deeper you go, the more important it becomes. It has the power to transform your relationships, and thus your life. Learn how to utilize this powerful tool to the fullest.All the tools you need to become the most effective communicator you know.Intentional Communication is about the most important skill you can ever possess: how to clearly communicate your thoughts and feelings, and receive the same from others. It sounds simple, but then you realize that every day is filled with misunderstandings, passive-aggression, missed opportunities, and emotional outbursts. Why?Genuine communication that leads to long-lasting relationships is rare, and it’s not easy to discover the gaps that hold us back. This book shows you the way and draws deep into both human psychology and usable tips and tricks to transform the way you relate to others.How to truly hear people’s thoughts and emotions, while also clearly expressing yours.Patrick King is an internationally bestselling author and social skills coach. His writing draws of a variety of sources, from scientific research, academic experience, coaching, and real-life experience. He used to be turbulent relationships where dueling monologues was the norm. What changed? Implementing the techniques in this book.The most essential mindsets to ensure comfortable, vulnerable, and satisfying relationships. The biggest obstacles to healthy communication and listening What true validation is, and the powerful catharsis it provides The concept of self-differentiation and how it will change you forever What an Imago dialogue is and how it can save marriages Your unconscious contribution to conflict and passive-aggression, and how to conquer it What empathy and curiosity have to do with each otherHow to be immediately trustworthy and empathetic.People don’t have the time to give you second chances. Put your best foot forward by understanding what really matters in communication. Relationships are the key to happiness and fulfillment, and this book unlocks them.Apply these principles anywhere: parties, networking events, dates, and family get-togethers. #Communication #HarmoniousRelationships #Imago #IntentionalCommunication #EmotionalValidation #Listening #Empathy #PatrickKing #RussellNewton #NewtonMG #PatrickKing #PatrickKingConsulting #SocialSkillsCoaching #IntentionalCommunication #CommunicationBreakthrough: #StopFighting # #StartCollaborating

00:00:00 Learn to Think Using Riddles, Brain Teasers, and Wordplay00:04:18 Thinking Modalities.00:05:48 Going Outside The Box.00:13:30 Mastering Critical Thinking.00:24:33 Putting It All Together.Learn to Think Using Riddles, Brain Teasers, and Wordplay: Develop a Quick Wit, Think More Creatively and Cleverly, and Train your Problem-Solving instincts By Patrick KingHear it Here - https://bit.ly/usingriddleshttps://www.amazon.com/dp/B08CD33V2SLearn how to ask the right questions, solve problems, and think more clearly.In traditional education, you're taught to recite and regurgitate. But there is rarely application, and information just becomes information for information’s sake. Does this actually make us smarter and more clever, or do we just get better at taking tests?Test yourself with over 30 maddening riddles and brain teasers designed to make you think outside the box.Learn to Think Using Riddles, Brain Teasers, and Wordplay is about how to think backwards, forwards, and sideways. Starting with a conclusion and finding the possible causes forces you to analyze, investigate, draw connections, and hypothesize. You need to explore all angles and let no stone remain unturned. This is exactly what real life requires.This book will confuse, frustrate, and ultimately improve your thinking prowess like nothing else, on account of being thrown into the mental deep end. Challenge yourself and you will grow.#AncientGreekRiddles #AugustKekule #SalvadorDali #ThinkingModalities #UsingRiddles #BrainTeasers #WarrenBerger #RussellNewton #NewtonMG #PatrickKing #PatrickKingConsulting #SocialSkillsCoaching #LearntoThinkUsingRiddles #BrainTeasers #andWordplay #UnlockYourMind:MasterCriticalThinkingWithRiddles

00:00:00 The Power of EQ00:02:12 Empathic Listening And Responding.00:09:20 The Four Types Of Empathic Responses.00:22:58 Ways to be a more active and constructive responder00:27:36 Shift Responses Versus Support Responses.The Power of E.Q.: Social Intelligence, Reading People, and How to Navigate Any Situation By: Patrick KingHear it Here - https://adbl.co/3OJ4V72https://www.amazon.com/dp/B0C3CC2RM3Your success in life will depend on how good you are with people. Sorry, that's the harsh truth.But the good news is that this is a trainable skill - and this book is an amazing start.Make a smashing first impression and make people crave your presence.The Power of E.Q. is as practical as a book can be. You will get techniques to use immediately on the people around you, and you will suddenly realize how much you have been missing! You will gain a deep understanding of emotional intelligence and the small signs behind what people are thinking and feeling. Imagine how much more easily you could make friends or befriend business partners if you could analyze them better.Read and analyze people with such stunning accuracy that they will be shocked.Patrick King is an internationally bestselling author and social skills coach. His writing draws of a variety of sources, from scientific research, academic experience, coaching, and real-life experience.Find the shortcuts to connecting with people in record time. conversational intelligence and how to empathize in 4 steps how to step outside of your own perspective and read the emotions of others cold reading and being an expert at finding "clues" about people understanding emotions and how to label yourself and others how high-quality questions will make you seem like a mind reader#DrDurvasula #PatrickKing #RussellNewton #NewtonMG #PatrickKing #PatrickKingConsulting #SocialSkillsCoaching #ThePowerofE.Q. #HandlingBigEgos—IncludingYourOwn #

Mindful Listening: How To Be Present, Intentional, and Empathetic (How to be More Likable and Charismatic Book 35)By Patrick KingHear it Here - https://adbl.co/3zldf8Yhttps://www.amazon.com/dp/B0CX1F3HFXThe key behind communication - it's not about what you say. It's how you shut up.Empathy and listening - they sound easy, but you know that most people you meet on a daily basis can't do it. So what's the deal?Mindful listening is the skill behind deep relationships.This book is about a skill that isn't complex, but also not easy. It's a book about relationships and what drives them - what lets you into people's hearts. Making someone feel seen and heard and important is the highway to anyone's heart. So it's time to take a look at yourself, diagnose your issues with connection and listening, and attack new and old friendships with a more empathetic perspective.Increase your emotional intelligence and people analyzing skills.Patrick King is an internationally bestselling author and social skills coach. His writing draws a variety of sources, from scientific research, academic experience, coaching, and real-life experience.Listening well is like reading someone's mind. Everything is said for a reason!-Understand the purpose of pausing and using silences to your advantage-How your ego sabotages your listening and how to get around it-Four types of responses to let people feel seen and heard for sure-How to validate and normalize someone's experience and emotions-The art of paraphrasing and the effect it has on someone's levels of trust-Listening and thinking - you can't do two things at once, but you can act like it-The divide between listening for your own goals, and listening to understand#ClarifyingQuestions #ComprehensiveListening #CriticalListening #EmotionalPreparedness #EmpathicListening #MindfulListening #ProfessorNadineMarsnik #RussellNewton #NewtonMG #MindfulListening #TheLOSTArtOfListening: #BecomeAMASTERCommunicator

00:00:00 Motivation Triggers00:00:28 What Is Motivation?00:02:52 Anything You Want.00:04:46 What Is Motivation?00:15:13 Science, History, And Biology.00:28:44 The Science Of Motivated Action.00:34:09 Three Primary Theories.00:34:54 Drives And Needs Theory.00:35:29 Arousal Theory.00:36:50 Instinct Theory.00:54:48 Theories Into Application And Practice.Have you ever wondered what truly motivates you? This video dives deep into the science behind motivation, exploring its history, biology, and the key theories that explain why we do what we do.In Chapter 1: Understanding Motivation, you'll learn: What motivation is and how it differs from happiness and inspiration How different historical figures viewed motivation The importance of motivation in achieving your goals The 3 main theories of motivation: Instinct Theory, Drives & Needs Theory (including Maslow's Hierarchy of Needs), and Personal Arousal Theory How to leverage these theories to boost your own motivationBy the end of this video, you'll have a solid foundation for understanding what makes you tick and how to harness the power of motivation to crush your goals!

MASSIVE CHARISMA: Small Talk, Charm, Likability, and How to Succeed With People (How to be More Likable and Charismatic Book 31) By: Patrick KingHear it Here - https://adbl.co/3uhUQ6Thttps://www.amazon.com/dp/B0C7Q9FBM8 Develop your own personal gravity with concrete skills to stand out, be noticed, and captivate people.If you (1) walk into a room and feel invisible, or (2) want to ensure you make a powerful personal impact – NEWSFLASH: you need better advice than “fake it ‘til you make it” or “just be yourself.”Confidently approach and excel in any social setting.MASSIVE CHARISMA is a book that just might fundamentally change how you interact with others. Never before have you looked behind the curtain of so-called charismatic people and the subtle ways they act and think differently. You get the “how to” along with the “why” and a multitude of illustrative examples.We are always told that our interpersonal skills are the key to what we want in life, and it’s true. Let the actionable tips, questions, approaches, and replicable techniques in this book be your guide to growing your sense of personal magnetism and charm.Advice from an internationally-known, professional charisma coach.Patrick King is an internationally bestselling author and teaches charisma and social skills for a living. He’s also a late bloomer and former social recluse – he made the transformation, knows exactly what it takes, and can relate to you every step of the way – advice from someone who simply gets it.He has been featured in: GQ Magazine, Tedx, Forbes, Men’s Fitness, and the Huffington Post.The highly focused advice will teach you what matters in an interaction, from beginning to end, subtle to obvious, small to big.•How to wield your attention and focus for maximum impact.•How choosing and being a role model help your charisma quotient.•The subconscious body language signals that matter.•How to exude true empathy and warmth.Solve: small talk, interviews, networking events, and strangers.•How to demonstrate your value, confidence, and powerful presence.•How to tailor your communication and speak to individuals.•How to listen and validate effectively.•The top charisma mistakes people unknowingly commit.Charisma is the one skill that opens all the doors you want in life, and the benefits are endless. #AffectiveCommunicationTest #BreatheAnchor #BuddhistZen #Cabane #CharismaMyth #FoxCabane #FredMcFeelyRogers #Friedman #FromCabanes #GretaThunberg #HowardFriedman #OliviaFoxCabane #SimsWyeth #SocialPsychology #RussellNewton #NewtonMG #PatrickKing #PatrickKingConsulting #SocialSkillsCoaching #MASSIVECHARISMA

00:00:00 Improve your people skills00:02:38 The Triangle Eye Contact Technique00:06:53 Using Proxemics00:09:27 Personal Space00:14:23 Perceptual Positions For Empathy And Awareness00:23:45 Three-Step Active ListeningImprove Your People Skills: How to Build Relationships Anywhere, with Anyone, in Any Situation By: Patrick KingHear it Here - https://adbl.co/3nQxB0Nhttps://www.amazon.com/dp/B0B2P6YCS2Become the ultimate people person and social butterfly.Your qualifications and intelligence aren’t what will move you forward in life. People skills (soft skills, interpersonal skills, social skills, and likability) are. They allow you to effortlessly glide through life and roll with the punches, as well as maximize the situations you’ll find yourself in. When your relationships are harmonious and authentic, the whole world opens up.Understand people's psychological drives.Improve Your People Skills is a book of action that allows you to truly understand others and speak their language, no matter what it is. It will fundamentally change your approach to others and you’ll instantly understand where you’ve gone wrong. It goes beyond social intelligence and gives you a blueprint to the psychology of people.People skills open the doors for your life in a way that literally nothing else can.Become a captivating, comforting, and desired presence.Whether it’s winning at work politics, making new friends, or strengthening current relationships, people skills are your quickest and surest route to success – no matter the situation. Patrick King is an internationally bestselling author and sought-after social skills coach and trainer. He knows firsthand the value of people skills because they rescued him from lackluster grades and jumpstarted his career – the value of “just fitting in anywhere” cannot be understated.Build trust, create emotional depth, and cultivate intimacy. How to use empathy on a daily basis What proxemics are and how to use them The types of humor that you should and shouldn’t use Navigating tense situations and conflict How to argue better How to respond to people to make them feel heard and valuedLearn how to fit in anywhere, and make any interpersonal situation pleasurable.#PatrickKing #PeopleSkills #Relationship #RussellNewton #NewtonMG #PatrickKing #PatrickKingConsulting #SocialSkillsCoaching #ImproveYourPeopleSkills #MasterSocialSkills:EyeContact #BodyLanguage&ActiveListening

Establishing Boundaries: How to Protect Yourself, Become Assertive, Take Back Control, and Set Yourself Free (Be Confident and Fearless Book 6) By Patrick KingHear it Here - https://bit.ly/establishboundariesking00:07:47.640 Drawing The Line00:13:00.440 Types Of Boundaries00:21:53.960 Are You In Need?00:28:09.515 Your Relationship With Boundaries00:33:02.040 The Conditional Statement00:38:01.480 An Important Definition00:58:21.120 Self Assessinghttps://www.amazon.com/dp/B08CV1V7HLHow to Establish Boundaries: Protect Yourself, Become Assertive, Take Back Control, and Set Yourself Free (Be Confident and Fearless Book 3) Kindle Editionby Patrick King (Author) Format: Kindle Edition

Unlock the Secret to Better Relationships! People skills aren't just about what you say – they begin with how you think about others. 00:00:00 Improve your people skills00:03:20 Members of the Belief Police00:12:35 For instance, take the story of Clever Hans00:17:02 Hanlon’s RazorIn this video, we explore the power of: Hanlon's Razor: Why assuming good intentions strengthens connections. Curiosity Factor: How genuine interest unlocks fascinating conversations. Walking a Mile in Their Shoes: The power of empathy for understanding others. Discover how these simple mindset shifts can transform your interactions and build meaningful relationships. Ready to become a people magnet? Watch Now!

How to Listen, Hear, and Validate: Break Through Invisible Barriers and Transform Your Relationships (How to be More Likable and Charismatic Book 11) By Patrick King00:00:00 How to listen, hear, and validate00:10:37 Why Validation Is So Important00:16:53 Isn’t Validation The Same As Empathy?00:19:57 Validation—One Of The Clearest Ways To Express Care00:25:52 Validating The Right Way And In The Right MomentHear it Here - https://bit.ly/listenhearvalidatekinghttps://www.amazon.com/dp/B08WLBD418Cultivate deep connections wherever you go. Prevent 100% of conflict, misunderstanding, and loneliness.Healthy relationships involve our feelings being heard, understood, and validated. Unfortunately, this is the exception rather than the rule. Are you doing it wrong, and alienating people versus comforting them? Find out how to walk this fine line.Uncover the biggest obstacle to the intimate, healthy relationships that we desire and deserve.How to Listen, Hear, and Validate is all about our top communication struggle - our tendency to react instead of respond, and forget that our goal is to build bridges rather than walls. You’ll learn what you’ve been doing wrong, and why your efforts at getting closer to people - in deep or light manners - have failed. You’ll learn actionable techniques and frameworks to have the most productive conversations of your life - ones that will walk away with people praising how empathetic you are. Most importantly, you will gain profound insights on how to reprogram yourself into a natural communicator.No more unresolved issues, struggles to get close, or failures from ineffective communication.Patrick King is an internationally bestselling author and social skills coach. His writing draws of a variety of sources, from scientific research, academic experience, coaching, and real life experience. His struggles in his early relationships has inspired him to unravel practical ways to cultivate meaningful, reciprocative interactions.Establish vulnerable, fulfilling and satisfying relationships.•The big mistakes when we ‘listen’ to others•How to structure a style for effective validation and empathy•Scripts to validate others, to know exactly what to say•Simple tactics to make others feel loved and seen•How to use empathetic communication and active listening techniquesDid you know? Most communication problems come from a lack of validation.Are we truly paying attention to the messages others are conveying, or are we just waiting for our turn to speak? Are we listening to reply, or listening to hear? After applying the proven techniques from this book, you’ll be able to increase love, respect and satisfaction to your relationship. You’ll become the person everyone wants in their life.Connect deeper and better. Raise the standard for your relationships.#A #Aggressive #All #Are #ASo #AWell #AYeah #B #BNo #BOh #Brisini #ExpressCare #Narcissist #TianSolomon #Validate #Validating #Validation #RussellNewton #NewtonMG #PatrickKing #PatrickKingConsulting #SocialSkillsCoaching #HowtoListen #Hear #andValidate #ValidationAsACommunicationSkill

Do you wish you were the life of the party, someone who effortlessly commands attention and connects with others? 00:00:00 Massive Charisma00:02:40 A Practical Definition00:05:47 Being More Influential00:16:39 Being More Affable00:28:14 Emotional Expressiveness00:33:50 Emotional Control00:36:10 Social Expressiveness00:38:34 Social Sensitivity00:41:51 Social ControlCharisma might seem like a magical gift, but it's actually a set of learnable skills! This video dives deep into the psychology of charisma, breaking it down into practical steps you can take to become more charming and influential. Learn how to project confidence, have captivating conversations, and leave a lasting impression. Discover the 3 key elements of charisma according to Dr. Ronald Riggio, and practical tips for improving your expressiveness, emotional intelligence, and social awareness. Plus, uncover the surprising benefits of acting and improv for boosting your social skills! Watch now and unlock your inner charm!

00:00:00 Better Small Talk00:02:15 A Life of Stories00:09:34 The 1 -1 -1 Method00:16:04 The Story Spine00:25:32 Inside StoriesStruggling with awkward small talk? Discover how to turn those fleeting interactions into meaningful connections with actionable tips from Patrick King's "Better Small Talk." This video dives into the book's key points, including:The power of storytelling to build rapport and create lasting memories.The 1-1-1 method to effortlessly transition from small talk to deeper conversations.The Story Spine framework for crafting captivating narratives that engage others.And much more!Learn how to navigate social situations with confidence, leave a lasting impression, and build stronger relationships through the art of better small talk.

Feeling awkward in conversations? Don't worry, charm isn't about you - it's about making others feel heard!00:00:00 Hello listeners00:01:28 Talk WITH people and not TO them00:17:18 Sustain Conversations with Conversational Threading and Useful AcronymsThis video dives into Chapter 2 of "Tools of the Charming" and unveils powerful techniques to keep conversations flowing and engaging.Discover the "Rule of Three" that prevents you from rambling, and learn the magic of "Conversational Threading" to effortlessly navigate discussions. ✨You'll learn: The secret to charm: It's not about you! (Spoiler: It's all about making them feel good!) The "Rule of Three": Stop information overload and keep conversations interesting. Conversational Threading: Never run out of things to say! Why content is secondary to emotional connection.Become a master conversationalist today!P.S. Being open-minded, spontaneous, and genuine are key to everyday conversational success!

Easily listen to Social Skills Coaching in your podcast app of choice at https://bit.ly/social-skills-homeHear it Here - https://adbl.co/3N9lsjI• “Cooperative overlapping” is different from interrupting. It’s about talking along with the speaker, not to undermine or cut them off, but to validate what they’re saying, give encouragement, and show that they’re paying close attention. It can vary across cultures; neither way is right, but try to acknowledge and accommodate differences.00:00:00 Hello listeners00:04:29 Try to be alert of the different kinds of interrupting/overlapping00:08:49 Mastering Turn-Taking00:13:08 When They’re the Conversational Narcissist00:21:27 Summary• Turn-taking rules can be complex and culture-bound, but a big part of learning to be charming, likeable, and a good communicator is to constantly be appraising the situation and adapting and adjusting yourself accordingly.• When dealing with a conversational narcissist, don’t try to rescue the conversation by being more attentive, understanding, and charming yourself, or you’ll be taken advantage of. Instead use the gray rock technique and be aloof and unresponsive until they lose interest, and minimize contact as much as possible. Tighten up boundaries.

Easily listen to Social Skills Coaching in your podcast app of choice at https://bit.ly/social-skills-homeHear it Here - https://adbl.co/3N9lsjI• People generally talk about things for a specific reason. If you can hear between the lines and find out what that reason is, you can have deeper conversations with others that are enjoyable for both of you. • Doing this isn’t especially hard; all you need to do is pay attention to what is being said. People organically bring up topics they are interested in, and their body language will very obviously indicate excitement or happiness while talking about that subject. With practice, you’ll be able to spot these telltale signs better and use them to have more fun and engaging conversations. • When someone is telling you something, try to determine what emotion is being conveyed. People are generally looking for some specific emotional reaction from you when they say something. It could be anger, a smile, amazement, curiosity, or something else. If you can figure out what emotion they’re trying to convey and what they’re expecting in return, you’ll make the other person feel understood and appreciated. Remember that conversations aren’t all about you. It’s an activity that involves mutual sharing and listening. Reacting to the other person’s emotions appropriately shows that you’re paying attention and actually care about what they’re saying. This is why you should react to everything. don’t ignore or let comments or nonverbal gestures just pass with no response.

Easily listen to Social Skills Coaching in your podcast app of choice at https://bit.ly/social-skills-home00:00:00 Hello listeners. Welcome to Social Skills Coaching.00:01:00.070 Match and Mirror Internal Communication Cues00:05:23.610 Match on Content 00:10:46.720 Expressing Without Speaking00:16:22.630 Posture and Body Orientation00:20:28.560 Eye Contact00:24:38.790 Paralinguistics00:26:09.440 The Four Ps of VoiceHear it Here - https://adbl.co/3N9lsjIFeeling lost in conversation? This video is your one-stop guide to mastering the fundamentals of communication! We'll break down Chapter 1 of [Book Title] by [Author Name], diving deep into: Identifying Your Communication Style: Discover your strengths and weaknesses as a communicator. Psychological Barriers: Learn how to overcome common hurdles that block effective communication. The Rapport Game: Unlock the secrets of building trust and connection with anyone. Expressing Without Speaking: The power of nonverbal communication - understand body language and paralinguistics. Summary Guide: Recap the key takeaways from Chapter 1 for easy reference.Bonus: We'll provide actionable tips to help you immediately improve your communication skills!Ready to become a communication master? Watch now!

Better Small Talk: Talk to Anyone, Avoid Awkwardness, Generate Deep Conversations, and Make Real Friends By Patrick King Hear it Here - https://adbl.co/2Q5CWQM00:00:00 Initial Impressions00:10:41 Make the First Move00:16:50 Find Similarity00:27:35 Manufacture Connectionhttps://www.amazon.com/dp/B0871N22LFNetworking events suck, but they can suck less. What to say and when to say to be likable, connect, and make a memorable impression.Actionable and applicable verbal maneuvers for just about every phase of conversation. From hello to goodbye, with strangers or old friends, you'll learn how to simply go deeper. NO MORE: interview mode, awkward silence, or struggling to hold people’s attention.Better Small Talk is a unique read. Imagine the following situation: you've just put on your name tag, and you're approached by a stranger. What do you say? Nice weather today. No, we can do better than this. Learn better small talk to avoid awkwardness, put people at ease, and build real rapport. Learn to open people up without them even realizing it.Patrick King is an internationally bestselling author and social skills coach. His writing draws of a variety of sources, from scientific research, academic experience, coaching, and real life experience. He suffered for years as a shy introvert and managed to boil human interaction down to a science - first for himself, and now for you. You'll learn exact dialogues, responses, phrases, and questions to use.•How to tell captivating stories and what to actually focus on. •Four ways to warm yourself up and prepare for even the most unpredictable conversations. •Instantly setting a tone of friendship and openness with strangers. •Common and subtle conversational habits you need to stop right now Become someone who is magnetic and who can make new friends in any situation.Simple conversation is the gatekeeper to friendships, your dream career, romance, and overall happiness. The ability to connect with anyone is an underrated superpower. People will be more drawn to you without even knowing why, and never again people will people be bored talking to you. You’ll never run out of things to say when you master these conversation tactic#EllenNaylor #RussellNewton #NewtonMG #BetterSmallTalk #InitialImpressions #PatrickKing #SocialSkillsCoaching #

Easily listen to Social Skills Coaching in your podcast app of choice at https://bit.ly/social-skills-home00:02:55 Are You a Conversational Narcissist?00:11:01 The Power of the Support Response00:17:03 ALBRECHT’S RULE OF THREE FOR CONVERSATIONSHear it Here - https://adbl.co/3N9lsjI• The biggest threat to connecting well with others is conversational narcissism—i.e., the tendency of centering ourselves, talking too much, steering the topic, interrupting, invalidating others, bragging, manipulating, or acting superior to others. Everyone has the potential to be narcissistic in conversation at times.• A shift response is an attempt to bring the focus and attention of a conversation back to yourself. A support response maintains that focus and attention on the other person. A great way to reduce conversational narcissism is to use fewer shift responses and more support responses. When used well, support responses lead to better, more fulfilling conversations for everyone.• Dr. Karl Albrecht says that all conversations can be broken down into three fundamental components: declaratives, questions, and conditionals. His rule of three is to never make three declarative statements in a row without a question or conditional statement. • Declarations can be presented as statements of fact whether they are or aren’t, and can shut down conversations or act as shift responses. Conditionals are modified, weaker forms of declarations that acknowledge their own subjectivity. #Keywords #Make #RussellNewton #NewtonMG #PatrickKing #PatrickKingConsulting #SocialSkillsCoaching #MakeFriendsEasily #WhenEgoGetsInTheWayPatrickKing

Easily listen to Social Skills Coaching in your podcast app of choice at https://bit.ly/social-skills-homeHear it Here - https://adbl.co/3N9lsjI • This chapter is about how to steer conversations to different topics without making things seem restrictive. One critical aspect of talking to people is ability to transition between topics seamlessly. Many people struggle with this because they often want to discuss specific things and end up making the conversation rigid. • The key rule to be remembered here is the “yes, and” rule. Whenever someone states a proposition, your response should be to agree to it, and contribute a line that will keep the conversation going. Simply agreeing isn’t enough, since it brings the conversation to a dead end. Disagreeing is even worse, because it might make you come across as combative and unsympathetic. • Don’t be afraid to enter into conversational topics that you don’t know much about. You might just end up learning something new, and you’ll see that your fears about coming across as dumb are unfounded. If you keep conversations open-ended, people will naturally want to talk to you because they will feel like they can share anything with you. • A more negative version of the “yes, and” rule is the “yes, but” rule. It’s similar, but the latter immediately makes the other person think of you as argumentative. This is because, unlike the “yes, and” rule, it doesn’t help the conversation flow. #improveyourconversationskills #communicationskills #socialskillstips #charismatips #likabilitytips #"Yes #AND..."technique #conversationflow #activelistening #overcomingconversationanxiety #improv #communication #socialskills #charisma #likability #conversation #activelistening #socialanxiety #self-improvement #personaldevelopment #RussellNewton #NewtonMG #ImproveYourConversations #AlwaysSay“Yes #AND…” #PatrickKing

The Confidence Formula: May Cause: Lower Self-Doubt, Higher Self-Esteem, and Comfort In Your Own Skin (Be Confident and Fearless Book 8) By: Patrick KingHear it Here - https://bit.ly/ConfidenceFormulaKinghttps://www.amazon.com/dp/B0994VF5XH00:16:21 Low Confidence Characteristics00:22:05 Am I Unconfident—or Do I Have Anxiety?00:24:09 The Spotlight Effect00:30:53 Feelings Versus Automatic Thoughts00:41:15 Your Confidence ResumeStop making decisions based on fear of failure, rejection, anxiety, and judgment.Life is full of possibilities, but can you take advantage of them? Gain the confidence to be all that you can be.Not just “fake it ‘til you make it” or “just smile more.”The Confidence Formula is filled with real, actionable advice for your life TODAY. It’s not generic, borderline useless advice you can read in any blog post online. This book will take you on a deep dive into the depth of confidence, self-perception, and the psychology of confidence – understand yourself so you can break through your mental barriers.Everything from psychology, biology, and even cognitive behavioral therapy is referenced in giving you the tools to feel more invincible on a daily basis.Finally feel comfortable in your own skin and become your own source of confidence.Patrick King is an internationally bestselling author and sought-after social skills coach and trainer. He was also one of the plumpest children you’ve ever seen, and understands the pains and processes of confidence like few others. This book was written by someone who knows exactly what you’re facing and how you’re hurting.Become bolder, more fearless, and good enough. Stop thinking about the “what ifs” in your life.Confidence will turn your life into a series of endless opportunities. Your goals, your social circle, your relationships, your career, and your life – confidence is the key. Confidence creates the life you want and lets you smash through goals, while making sure you never feel invisible, waste your potential, or feel paralyzed from anxiety.Quiet the voice in your head and live how you want to. Stop feeling so restricted.#Amygdala #Confidence #ConfidenceFormula #ConfidenceResume #FeelingsVersusAutomaticThoughts #Gilovich #SpotlightEffect #ThomasGilovich #RussellNewton #NewtonMG #PatrickKing #PatrickKingConsulting #SocialSkillsCoaching #TheConfidenceFormula #TheRippleEffectOfConfidence

Easily listen to Social Skills Coaching in your podcast app of choice at https://bit.ly/social-skills-home00:03:17.360 Constantly Interrupting00:05:38.100 Using Qualifiers00:06:53.900 Equating Your Experiences00:08:02.139 Floundering00:09:13.940 Waiting Instead of Listening00:13:42.170 The Rapport Game00:15:09.470 Mirroring and Matching00:18:48.220 Way 1: Match and Mirror External Communication Cues00:21:06.070 Way 2: Match and Mirror Voice and LanguageHear it Here - https://adbl.co/3N9lsjI#ConversationSkills #RussellNewton #NewtonMG #PatrickKing #PatrickKingConsulting #SocialSkillsCoaching #ConversationSkillsTraining #OtherBadCommunicationHabitsToAvoid

Better Small Talk: Talk to Anyone, Avoid Awkwardness, Generate Deep Conversations, and Make Real Friends By Patrick King 00:14:25.120 A Childlike Exercise00:22:30.760 Your Conversation Résumé00:29:56.769 Conversational Stages00:39:29.950 Initial Impressions00:49:59.349 Make the First Move00:56:07.650 Find Similarity01:06:53.740 Manufacture ConnectionHear it Here - https://adbl.co/2Q5CWQMhttps://www.amazon.com/dp/B0871N22LFNetworking events suck, but they can suck less. What to say and when to say to be likable, connect, and make a memorable impression.Actionable and applicable verbal maneuvers for just about every phase of conversation. From hello to goodbye, with strangers or old friends, you'll learn how to simply go deeper. NO MORE: interview mode, awkward silence, or struggling to hold people’s attention.Better Small Talk is a unique read. Imagine the following situation: you've just put on your name tag, and you're approached by a stranger. What do you say? Nice weather today. No, we can do better than this. Learn better small talk to avoid awkwardness, put people at ease, and build real rapport. Learn to open people up without them even realizing it.Patrick King is an internationally bestselling author and social skills coach. His writing draws of a variety of sources, from scientific research, academic experience, coaching, and real life experience. He suffered for years as a shy introvert and managed to boil human interaction down to a science - first for himself, and now for you. You'll learn exact dialogues, responses, phrases, and questions to use.•How to tell captivating stories and what to actually focus on. •Four ways to warm yourself up and prepare for even the most unpredictable conversations. •Instantly setting a tone of friendship and openness with strangers. •Common and subtle conversational habits you need to stop right now Become someone who is magnetic and who can make new friends in any situation.Simple conversation is the gatekeeper to friendships, your dream career, romance, and overall happiness. The ability to connect with anyone is an underrated superpower. People will be more drawn to you without even knowing why, and never again people will people be bored talking to you. You’ll never run out of things to say when you master these conversation tactic

Easily listen to Social Skills Coaching in your podcast app of choice at https://bit.ly/social-skills-home00:10:46 Four Easy Self-Disclosure Rules.00:14:38 Mini Self-Disclosures.00:17:30 How to Respond to Someone Else’s Disclosure.Hear it Here - https://adbl.co/3N9lsjI• Vulnerability is essential for human connection, and appropriate self-disclosure creates trust, authenticity, and intimacy. Self-disclosure is intentionally sharing personal information that other people wouldn’t know unless we chose to tell them. The most effective kind of self-disclosure is the one that only slightly pushes the current state of affairs toward more intimacy.• Friendship-making is an upward spiral of mutual and incremental disclosures over time. Keep things symmetrical, gradual, positive, and small at first. #BanterLand #Chunking #Derlega #Disclosure #Selfdisclosure #RussellNewton #NewtonMG #PatrickKing #PatrickKingConsulting #SocialSkillsCoaching #MakeFriendsEasily #TurningOnTheCharm:PrinciplesOfSelf-Disclosure

The Science of Likability: 60 Evidence-Based Methods to Radiate Charisma, Make a Powerful Impression, Win Friends, and Trigger Attraction By Patrick King.00:02:19 Context-Dependent Memories.00:10:07 The Power of Association.00:15:36 Shut Up and Let ’Em Talk!00:26:10 Equity Within Relationships.00:32:04 Similarity Breeds Liking.00:38:05 This is known as the chameleon effect00:40:09 Three Stages of Friendship Hear it Here - https://bit.ly/likability-promohttps://www.amazon.com/dp/B07VCRTJ59100% scientifically-proven ways to make friends quickly, turn enemies into friends, gain trust, and be flat-out likable.Utilize the most interesting, shocking, and counterintuitive findings in psychological science to simply make people want to be around you.The Science of Likability takes over 60 seminal scientific and psychological studies and breaks them down into real, usable guidelines and tips to create the presence you have always wanted. Every piece of advice in this book to increase your social standing and likability factor is 100% backed by in-depth, peer-reviewed research, and it goes far beyond simple common sense and intuition.Learn how to subconsciously make yourself likable, trustworthy, and intelligent.You can get a new haircut and wardrobe, and you even learn knock-knock jokes. But likability is something more. It's subconscious, and it's about the small signs that signal our brains to let their guards down, seek others out, and embrace them. We know what to do if we want to make someone hate us - we now also know what to do to become someone's favorite person.Understand what makes people tick, and strategically give it to them.There are seminal studies from (in)famous researchers such as Sigmund Freud, Ivan Pavlov, Stanley Schachter, and Daniel Goleman, but also the most up-to-date discoveries from 2019 - all insightful, analytical, sometimes surprising, but most importantly effective and actionable. Pair that with the insight and human intelligence factor of bestselling author and social skills coach Patrick King, and you have a guide that can be read equally for education as for helpful, real advice. Patrick's writing draws of a variety of sources, from scientific research, academic experience, coaching, and real life experience. Discover:- How to take advantage of people's memories for your sense of charm.- The power of equity in relationships and friendships.- A literal formula for "friendship chemistry."- The real way to use eye contact to build trust.- Why tripping and being vulnerable in front of people is positive.- Universal definitions of charisma, wit, and humor - seriously. Universal.Being likable unlocks the doors to everything you want in life.A better career? You better believe that the people with the most promotions and highest salaries aren't just the most qualified. Better love life? Being likable makes you a potential love interest to anyone you want. Better relationships and friendships? Not only that, but you open the door to people wanting to be friends with you. Likability is the hidden force that makes people appear to be lucky in life and receive more opportunities than they know what to do with. Likability drives us forward, not intelligence or luck.Ultimately, this is a social skills and charisma book to drastically change your presence. Pick up your copy today by clicking the BUY NOW button at the top of this page.This is the first book in the “The Psychology of Social Dynamics” series as listed below:1.The Science of Likability: 60 Evidence-Based Methods to Radiate Charisma, Make a Powerful Impression, Win Friends, and Trigger Attraction [2019 Edition]2.Think Like a Psychologist: How to Analyze Emotions, Read Body Language and Behavior,...

Hear it Here - http://bit.ly/improvking00:02:51 Conversation Equals Improv00:09:03 Emotional Intelligence00:12:19 Play 00:19:53 Takeaways Does your mind blank in conversation and create awkward silence? Do you run out of things to say and struggle to keep dialogue flowing?(A) Conversation isn’t scripted, (B) it’s 100% unpredictable, and (C) it can be terrifying at times. How do you prepare for such a thing? By learning how to apply improv comedy techniques to roll with any punch and improve your conversations and social interactions.Become quicker and more clever in daily conversation.Improv(e) Your Conversations teaches the ingenious rules of improv comedy that allow performers to turn boring prompts into memorable interactions worthy of standing ovations. This means there are real frameworks and templates to escape interview mode small talk – and start connecting and building rapport from the moment you say “Hello.” This book goes through over 15 of the most helpful and insightful improv comedy techniques with countless real-life examples to make you a great talker.Learn the conversational secrets of the world’s best comedians.Patrick King is an internationally bestselling author and social skills coach. His writing draws of a variety of sources, from scientific research, academic experience, coaching, and real life experience.Over 15 actionable tips that are actually practical and relateable.•The three easy ways to always know what to say, even when your mind goes blank.•What Sherlock Holmes has to do with great rapport.•How to read people better and what to look for.•The one goal you must always keep in mind (that you probably don’t even know).Adapt, witty comeback, reply, and charm in record time.•What causes awkward silences and how to prevent them.•How your conversation should resemble a movie.•How to “flip the switch” to be more entertaining.Conversation skills are the gatekeeper to the rest of your life.Improving your conversations gives you the ability to turn a random encounter into a flowing conversation, into a lasting friendship. Fewer acquaintances and more friends, less small talk and more true substance.•Better networking, better career placement, better job interviews.•New friendships, improved relationships, and being more attractive to the opposite sex.•Instant likability and great first impressions." https://www.audible.com/pd/B08TK96H1S/?source_code=AUDFPWS0223189MWU-BK-ACX0-235620&ref=acx_bty_BK_ACX0_235620_pd_us#Charismatic #Conversation #ImprovComedyTechniques #WittyBanter #RussellNewton #NewtonMGCharismatic,Conversation,Improv Comedy Techniques,Witty Banter,Russell Newton,NewtonMG

Conversation Skills Training: How to Build Relationships, Navigate Any Situation, and Talk to Anyone By: Patrick KingHear it Here - https://adbl.co/3U8eoc5https://www.amazon.com/dp/B0CNPHL9PC You are missing out on so many relationships in your life.Communication is the bedrock of our relationships. But we often don’t know how to express ourselves, or truly hear others. Make sure that you are not letting amazing people pass you by.Increase your social and emotional awareness.Conversations Skills Training is truly about arming you with the tools you need for effective expression, listening, and relationships. Communication is the primary contributor to the relationships we attract in our lives, and this book takes you through almost every aspect of successful connection.Imagine being able to walk into a room and make friends with strangers, avoid conflict, and have a charismatic presence. It’s not so tough, it just needs purposeful practice. This book will be your best field guide to knowing how to deal with people, their emotions, and your own emotions.Get ahead in your career – because conversations skills gets promotions, not technical skills.Patrick King is an internationally bestselling author and social skills coach. His writing draws of a variety of sources, from scientific research, academic experience, coaching, and real-life experience.The keys to preventing and dealing with conflict or other uncomfortable situations. Identify your communication style, and why it might be holding you back Exactly how much eye contact to use for emotional connection One acronym to substantially improve your conversations How to “hear” people’s emotions and make people trust you Defusing conflict and tough situations How to say no and assert yourself to anyone An ancient Greek persuasion technique that works in any situationRead people like a book – their emotions, feelings, and thoughts!#AggressiveCommunicator #AngeloStrenta #AssertiveCommunicator #BadCommunicationHabits #BodyOrientation #CommunicationStyle #ConversationSkillsTraining #Defensiveness #DrArthurAron #FillerWords #FourPs #JohnGrinder #KaraRonins #ManipulativeCommunicator #MichaelEllsberg #Microexpressions #Mirroring #NeuroLinguisticProgrammingNLP #Paralinguistics #PassiveAggressiveCommunicator #PassiveCommunicator #RichardBandler #RobertKleck #SocialInteraction #RussellNewton #NewtonMG #PatrickKing #PatrickKingConsulting #SocialSkillsCoaching #ConversationSkillsTraining #TheBasicsAreNotSoBasic

Easily listen to Social Skills Coaching in your podcast app of choice at https://bit.ly/social-skills-homeHear it Here - https://adbl.co/3N9lsjI00:08:18 Preconceived Attitudes00:17:48 Judgment and Premature Evaluation.•••••••••••#Conversation #ConversationSkillsTraining #Training #RussellNewton #NewtonMG #PatrickKing #PatrickKingConsulting #SocialSkillsCoaching #ConversationSkillsTraining #IdentifyYourCommunicationStyle

Take Rapid Action: Get Productive, Motivated, & Energized; Stop Overthinking & Procrastinating By Patrick King00:04:28 Follow the Ostrich’s Lead00:09:41 The Premortem Analysis00:15:56 The Don’t-Do List00:31:04 Err on the Side of Action00:32:19 Get a Little Uncomfortable00:39:04 Tiny Steps00:45:25 The 40-70 Rule 00:50:14 Beat IndecisionHear it Here - https://bit.ly/takerapidactionkinghttps://www.amazon.com/dp/B082YZ95LVPractical, psychological methods to turn your thoughts into reality, instead of endless avoidance and laziness.Transform from struggling with getting off your butt, to a machine of productivity and self-discipline. Create an action bias in your life -- starting now.How to break inertia, overthinking, paralysis, sloth, and insecurity.Take Rapid Action deconstructs the psychology of laziness and why tomorrow always sounds like a better idea. This book is many things at once: a shot of motivation, a spark of fire, an understanding of your brain, and a list of techniques to get into motion. This is one of the most valuable skills you’ll ever gain, because only action matters in life, not good intentions.Gain the ability to get things done and hit your goals, no matter the circumstances.Patrick King is an internationally bestselling author and social skills coach. His writing draws of a variety of sources, from scientific research, academic experience, coaching, and real life experience.Stop saying “I’ll do it later/tomorrow…” and overhaul your mindset for productivity and efficiency.•The Premortem Analysis and the Ostrich Theory -- how they can quiet your overthinking.•How comfortable inaction is sabotaging you.•Actionable and applicable rules to get started before you feel 100% ready.How to create motion and take the first step from complete stillness.•How to defeat procrastination by “bundling.”•Strategically plan your days to prevent laziness and distraction.•What you think is action, but is actually a waste of timeBecome a machine of proactive energy and activity.Action and results are the only things that matter in the world. Not your planning, intentions, or nice thoughts. This book puts action at the forefront of your brain and makes it nearly impossible to stay still. That’s precisely what will get you ahead in life. Taking that first step is always hard, but it doesn’t have to be.The more action you take, the luckier you become. Take that first step by scrolling up and clicking the BUY NOW BUTTON at the top right of this page!This is the sixth book in the “Clear Thinking and Fast Action” series as listed below:1. The Science of Getting Started: How to Beat Procrastination, Summon Productivity, and Stop Self-Sabotage2. The Art of Clear Thinking: Mental Models for Better Reasoning, Judgment, Analysis, and Learning. Upgrade Your Intellectual Toolkit.3. 10-Minute Philosophy: From Buddhism to Stoicism, Confucius and Aristotle - Bite-Sized Wisdom From Some of History’s Greatest Thinkers4. Practical Intelligence: How to Think Critically, Deconstruct Situations, Analyze Deeply, and Never Be Fooled5. Learn To Think Using Thought Experiments: How to Expand Your Mental Horizons, Understand Metacognition, Improve Your Curiosity, and Think Like a Philosopher6. Take Rapid Action: Get Productive, Motivated, & Energized; Stop Overthinking & Procrastinating7. Relentless Focus: 27 Small Tweaks to Beat Procrastination, Skyrocket Productivity, Outsmart Distractions, & Do More in Less Time#DontDoList #DrRobertLeahy #GaryKlein #Leahy #OstrichTheory #Overthinking #Plutarch #PremortemAnalysis #TakeRapidAction #Uncertainty #RussellNewton #NewtonMG #PatrickKing...

Easily listen to Social Skills Coaching in your podcast app of choice at https://bit.ly/social-skills-home00:03:25 Why Stories Matter00:05:23 Four Elements of a Good Story00:09:28 Be Natural ... But Have a Plan00:17:16 USING WITTY BANTER IN BUILDING RAPPORT00:22:35 Technique 2: Use the Element of Surprise00:24:03 Technique 3: Sarcasm 00:26:25 Technique 4: Being Self-Referential00:28:15 Banter WarningsHear it Here - https://adbl.co/3N9lsjI• Though the real foundations of a good conversation are humility, curiosity, and open-mindedness, it’s still worth learning how to tell engaging and entertaining stories. Storytelling is human, and anyone can be a good storyteller. But a story’s value is in how it’s perceived by the audience.• The best stories have an attention-grabbing hook; they’re short, precise, and have a relevant emotional core. In conversation, a story is meant to create connection and rapport, not showcase you as interesting. Prepare somewhat by building a story “library” beforehand, then use natural transition phrases such as “You know, that reminds me of . . .”to introduce the story. Remember that telling a story is still a kind of conversation.• Witty banter is playful, clever, amusing conversation that speeds up rapport and builds closeness very rapidly. Anyone can learn to banter as long as they follow the rules: start small and build, banter WITH someone, not AT them, and a little goes a long way.• Self-deprecating or self-referential humor helps you drop your ego and shows strength and maturity, putting people at ease. Be brief and very obviously exaggerate something you’re actually comfortable with. Be unexpected and use the element of surprise to grab attention and create spark and spontaneity. Flaunt conversational norms with playful sarcasm. The focus is always on building rapport, not on entertaining or impressing people.#AndyRichter #Banter #Sarcasm #ScottYoung #SelfDeprecatingHumor #Selfdeprecation #Selfreferential #WITTYBANTERINBUILDINGRAPPORT #RussellNewton #NewtonMG #PatrickKing #PatrickKingConsulting #SocialSkillsCoaching #MakeFriendsEasily #TurningOnTheCharm

How To Say No: Stand Your Ground, Assert Yourself, and Make Yourself Be Seen (Without Guilt or Awkwardness) (Be Confident and Fearless Book 7)By: Patrick King 00:02:05 Why Saying No is So Essential00:10:26 Why We Struggle to Say No00:20:53 The Psychological Root of Never Saying No: Codependency00:36:51 Getting Rid of Counter-Mindsets00:44:54 Change Strategies for Counter-Mindsets00:46:19 Rewriting the Script that Saying No Makes You a Bad Person00:55:31 Rewriting the Script that Saying No Means You Don’t CareHear it Here - https://adbl.co/3vU090qhttps://www.amazon.com/dp/B0918PNTZVFinally get what you deserve and stop “letting it slide” - without guilt, fear, or awkward tension.Saying no - just thinking about it sounds awkward, right? But that’s the barrier between you living your own life, and living for others. Get what you want, starting immediately.Stop sacrificing your own needs. Quit the agreeableness and accommodation habit.How to Say No examines the psychology of those unable to stand up for themselves. It’s not as simple as wanting to avoid awkwardness, and it’s not about the correct sequence of words. You’l dive deep and learn about your beliefs that are holding you back, as well as how to conquer them in short time.Saying no is the most liberating thing you can do for yourself, and this book tells you how to get there from inside to out.Swift tactics to gain respect, set boundaries, and ask for what you really want.Patrick King is an internationally bestselling author and social skills coach. His writing draws of a variety of sources, from scientific research, academic experience, coaching, and real life experience.How to decisively say NO and stop being taken advantage of.•The counter mindsets you must change, and the mindsets you must replace them with•A multitude of categories for how to asset yourself•The easiest and least tense ways to simply say NO•An examination of your beliefs surrounding acceptance, love, and self-worth•Boundaries and how to ruthlessly enforce themStop putting others first and start treating yourself better.Who are you living your life for? Do you feel like you are exhausted by the time you can finally pay attention to your own needs?Do you finally wish that you could free yourself from self-imposed burdens and put yourself first? Learning how to say no and assert yourself is the most amazing tool that no one ever taught us. Start changing your life today. #Burnout #Codependency #Codependent #Countermindsets #FOMO #Overcommitting #RussellNewton #NewtonMG #HowToSayNo #TheImportanceOfSayingNo #PatrickKing

Easily listen to Social Skills Coaching in your podcast app of choice at https://bit.ly/social-skills-homeHear it Here - https://adbl.co/3N9lsjI00:01:53 Dr. David Rock created the SCARF model00:05:34 Assertive Communication 00:09:17 What Makes Assertive Communicators Different 00:10:45 Ten Essential Assertive Communication Habits00:22:06 Bonus: The Broken Record Technique00:23:47 Give and Take: The Art of Feedback00:27:02 The Situation-Behavior-Impact (SBI) model00:30:50 The Best Way to Receive Feedback • Regulate your own emotions by being aware of the underlying needs they express: status, certainty, autonomy, relatedness, and fairness. • Be assertive and communicate your needs, limits, and perspective with clarity and kindness. Be clear, calm, firm, open, in control, and respectful. Decide on the type of assertion that best fits your needs: basic, empathic, consequence, discrepancy, or negative feelings assertion. • When it comes to giving or receiving feedback, remember that it is about behaviors and actions and not about people. Be kind, but also don’t take things too personally. #Assertive #AssertiveCommunication #BrokenRecordTechnique #DrDavidRock #Effective #EmotionalIntelligence #Feedback #SBI #SCARF #ThomasKilmann #RussellNewton #NewtonMG #PatrickKing #PatrickKingConsulting #SocialSkillsCoaching #HowtoSpeakEffectively #RegulatingYourOwnEmotions

Easily listen to Social Skills Coaching in your podcast app of choice at https://bit.ly/social-skills-home00:02:20 Identify Your Communication Style00:04:20 The Passive Communicator00:07:57 The Aggressive Communicator00:11:15 The Passive-Aggressive Communicator00:19:19 The Assertive CommunicatorHear it Here - https://adbl.co/3N9lsjI• The best mindset to adopt in order to become a better communicator is the one that will best allow you to connect, meet your needs, solve problems, and express yourself. • Begin by asking yourself what your default communication style is: aggressive, passive-aggressive, or manipulative. None of these styles actually achieves the ultimate goal of communication, however. • The way you communicate is a choice. Assertive communication is the ability to express needs, wants, thoughts, and feelings directly without disrespecting or controlling others. Mature conversationalists are self-controlled, balanced, relaxed, open, and respectful.• Communicating well is simple and easy, but we need to remove the formidable psychological barriers that stand in the way. With awareness, we can remove them and improve our communication skills.#AggressiveCommunicator #AssertiveCommunicator #CommunicationStyle #ConversationSkillsTraining #ManipulativeCommunicator #PassiveAggressiveCommunicator #PassiveCommunicator #RussellNewton #NewtonMG #PatrickKing #PatrickKingConsulting #SocialSkillsCoaching #ConversationSkillsTraining #TheBasicsAreNotSoBasic

Easily listen to Social Skills Coaching in your podcast app of choice at https://bit.ly/social-skills-home00:02:46 Psychologist Shelly Gable coined the term “active and constructive responding”00:12:42 A truly active and constructive responseHear it Here - https://adbl.co/3N9lsjI• Your response to someone’s good news can vary, being passive or active, constructive or destructive. Aim for active, constructive responses that acknowledge and reflect the emotion and energy in a speaker’s message. • Give compliments—but keep them rare, sincere, specific, and appropriate.• Avoid giving advice. Problem-solving is best achieved by helping people discover what they themselves think, rather than telling them.#Compliment #Constructive #Destructive #Gable #PerfectCompliment #Problemsolving #PsychologistShellyGable #RussellNewton #NewtonMG #PatrickKing #PatrickKingConsulting #SocialSkillsCoaching #MakeFriendsEasily #ACTIVEANDCONSTRUCTIVERESPONDING

Easily listen to Social Skills Coaching in your podcast app of choice at https://bit.ly/social-skills-homeHear it Here - https://adbl.co/3N9lsjI00:01:18 In an article published in the Journal of Managerial Sciences in 200900:01:48 The Different Types of Conflict00:02:02 Not all conflict is the same—take a look at some variants: Affective Conflict 00:02:23 Substantive Conflict 00:02:45 Conflict of Interest 00:03:02 Retributive Conflict 00:03:19 Conflict in Values 00:03:33 Goal Conflict 00:03:39 Displaced Conflict00:04:29 The Thomas Kilmann Model 00:05:34 1. Competing 00:06:22 2. Avoiding 00:07:17 3. Accommodating 00:08:01 4. Collaboration 00:08:48 5. Compromising 00:09:36 VOMP 00:09:58 Ventilation 00:10:48 Ownership 00:11:53 Moccasins 00:12:20 Plan 00:14:24 Uh Oh—We Talked and There’s Still Conflict00:15:21 How to Master High-Stakes Discussions and Stabilize Intense Emotions00:19:17 How to Navigate a Crucial Conversation • Conflict is inevitable whenever people differ, but it can be managed with grace and tact. Try to understand the type of conflict: affective, substantive, conflict of interest, retributive, conflict in values, goal conflict, or displaced conflict from somewhere else. • According to the Thomas Kilmann model, people come into conflict simply because they have different ideas, values, motivations, or wants. There are five conflict-resolution strategies according to degree of empathy and assertiveness: competing, avoiding, accommodating, collaborating, and compromising. Each has pros and cons and is best used in specific circumstances. Compromising (medium assertiveness and medium empathy) is usually a good bet all around.#Affective #Collaboration #Compromising #Conflict #CrosbyKerrMinnoConsulting #DisplacedConflict #Emotion #Empathy #GoalConflict #Kilmann #ProfessorAbdulGhaffar #QurtubaUniversity #RalphKilmann #RetributiveConflict #ThomasKilmann #Ventilation #RussellNewton #NewtonMG #PatrickKing #PatrickKingConsulting #SocialSkillsCoaching #HowtoSpeakEffectively #WhenItAllGoesWrong:EffectiveConflictResolutionPatrickKing

Easily listen to Social Skills Coaching in your podcast app of choice at https://bit.ly/social-skills-home00:03:22 The Perfect Apology00:04:41 A Mistake Can Be a Good Thing!00:07:37 1. Express your genuine regret00:09:50 2. Explain what happened 00:11:20 3. Take responsibility 00:12:24 4. Repent!00:13:58 5. Offer to make amends00:15:14 6. Ask for forgivenessHear it Here - adbl.co/3OJ4V72• Conflict will happen, but what matters is how people respond to their mistakes. A perfect apology can actually strengthen a relationship if it consists of these six parts: expression of regret, explanation of what went wrong (without excuses or blame), taking responsibility, repentance, offering reparations, and a request for forgiveness, in order of importance. • Good apologies are sincere and match the severity of the offense. Apologize quickly and remember that you are never owed an apology. #Apologize #EQ #Lewicki #PerfectApology #Repent #Repentance #RussellNewton #NewtonMG #PatrickKing #PatrickKingConsulting #SocialSkillsCoaching #ThePowerofE.Q. #Needs #Limits #Requests #Refusals...It’SAConstantNegotiation

Easily listen to Social Skills Coaching in your podcast app of choice at https://bit.ly/social-skills-home00:01:48 Karen Huang and colleagues00:05:35 Chunking Up and Down00:18:15 When to Chunk Up00:19:13 When to Chunk DownHear it Here - https://adbl.co/3N9lsjI• Research suggests that talking about yourself makes you a little less likeable, while asking questions makes you a little more likeable. Open-ended and follow-up questions especially showed the greatest relationship to likability. People like those they believe are genuinely hearing them, seeing them, and reacting to them.• Questions that chunk up or down allow you to vary the degree of detail at which you present or request information. Both approaches have their uses, but it’s about balance, variety, and aligning with the other person. Become curious about where a current conversation is and whether it might need more chunking up or chunking down.#Chartrand #Chunking #ChunkingUp #GeorgeAMiller #KarenHuang #Lacan #Lacanian #RussellNewton #NewtonMG #PatrickKing #PatrickKingConsulting #SocialSkillsCoaching #MakeFriendsEasily #Question-Asking

Easily listen to Social Skills Coaching in your podcast app of choice at https://bit.ly/social-skills-home00:00:48 Judi Brownell from Cornell University 00:01:07 Here are the components of Brownell’s model: H: Hearing 00:03:01 U: Understanding 00:05:01 R: Remembering 00:06:48 I: Interpreting 00:08:33 E: Evaluating 00:10:57 R: Responding 00:15:29 Don’t Be a Conversational Narcissist!00:17:52 Reframe the Way You Understand the Purpose of Conversation 00:18:52 Don’t Jump Ahead 00:20:04 Avoid Advice 00:21:12 Stop Centering Yourself 00:23:06 Watch Out for Passive Conversational Narcissism, too00:23:56 What If They’re the Conversational Narcissist?00:26:37 The HURIER method asks us to Hear, Understand, Remember, Interpret, Evaluate, and Respond, in that order.00:26:53 Avoid being a conversational narcissist, who is someone who uses conversation to gain attention for themselves, rather than connect with others, share, or learn.Hear it Here - https://adbl.co/3N9lsjI• Good listening is a collection of different skills: hearing, understanding, interpreting, and responding. The HURIER method asks us to Hear, Understand, Remember, Interpret, Evaluate, and Respond, in that order. Remember that listening is active and includes both verbal and nonverbal material.• Avoid being a conversational narcissist, who is someone who uses conversation to gain attention for themselves, rather than connect with others, share, or learn. Reframe the way you understand the purpose of conversation and understand that it’s not about you or your ego. Avoid giving advice, interrupting (or thinking about what you want to say), or centering yourself in the dialogue. Similarly, don’t be afraid to disengage when you encounter a conversational narcissist.#AvoidAdvice #Brownell #CharlesDerber #ConversationalNarcissist #CornellUniversity #Derber #DontJumpAhead #HURIER #Narcissist #PassiveConversationalNarcissism #RussellNewton #NewtonMG #PatrickKing #PatrickKingConsulting #SocialSkillsCoaching #HowtoSpeakEffectively #TheHURIERMethod

Easily listen to Social Skills Coaching in your podcast app of choice at https://bit.ly/social-skills-home00:01:43 How to Create Healthy Boundaries00:03:29 How to Set Boundaries00:14:24 Use DEARMAN for Polite Requests and RefusalsHear it Here - adbl.co/3OJ4V72• Human beings are complex, and not all problems and conflicts can be solved by simply heaping on more and more empathy and understanding. Emotional intelligence means having boundaries that are not too permeable or too rigid. • Take the time to understand who you are, what you want, and what is unacceptable to you, then take responsibility for communicating that message clearly and directly to others. Whatever type of boundary you are setting a limit for (time, money, emotional energy, etc.), make sure that you are willing to follow through, and not use boundaries to passively control or manipulate others.• The DEARMAN acronym can help you make requests and refusals while staying polite. It stands for describe, express, assert, reinforce, mindfulness, appear confident, and negotiate. Emotionally mature and intelligent people take responsibility for how they navigate social spaces, and know that their needs and limits are always changing and under constant renegotiation. Real life is messy sometimes; be flexible and open to accommodation.#AppearConfident #Ask #Assert #Asserting #Boundary #Communicate #Confident #Conversational #DBT #DEARMAN #Decide #EmotionWheel #EQ #HealthyBoundaries #Mindfulness #Negotiate #Relationship #RussellNewton #NewtonMG #PatrickKing #PatrickKingConsulting #SocialSkillsCoaching #ThePowerofE.Q. #OwnYourLimitsWithHealthyBoundaries

Easily listen to Social Skills Coaching in your podcast app of choice at https://bit.ly/social-skills-homeHear it Here - https://adbl.co/3N9lsjI• Give the gift of solid, respectful attention at all times. Listen generously, as though you are prepared to hear the value, the sense, and the meaning in everything you hear. Don’t let your desire to seem like a good listener get in the way of actually being one. Let people know you are listening with small verbal and nonverbal gestures.• Try not to let your own perspective impair your ability to understand somebody else’s. Start from a position of ignorance and work your way up to real understanding, rather than making assumptions about what other people’s experiences mean. • To be a good listener, practice restating what you are told, paraphrase that content in your own words, summarize what you’re hearing in a useful way (or else condense things by labeling the core emotion), then potentially reframe the story or gently suggest something new if this might help solve a problem or create an emotional resolution. Do this without assumptions, biases, or interpretations, but with a mind to truly understand the other person’s point of view. #BeMindful #Concentrate #GoodListener #Listening #Mindful #Paraphrase #PayCloseAttention #Reframe #Restate #Summarize #Paraphrase #Summarizing #RussellNewton #NewtonMG #PatrickKing #PatrickKingConsulting #SocialSkillsCoaching #MakeFriendsEasily #TheFriendshipMindset #THEARTOFACTIVELISTENING #PatrickKing

Easily listen to Social Skills Coaching in your podcast app of choice at https://bit.ly/social-skills-home00:06:04 How to Use Funnel Questions00:08:26 Here's a summary of How To Ask Funnel Questions00:11:50 How You Structure a Question Matters00:15:14 Rhetorical Questions00:16:09 To conclude, here are a few Tips For Using Questions00:17:03 How to Be a Truly Effective ListenerHear it Here - https://adbl.co/3N9lsjI• One of the easiest ways to connect with another person is to just ask questions. The right questions help you gather more and better-quality information, build stronger connections with others, inspire trust and liking, learn, and help other people learn, too. • Closed questions (those that have very short or one-word answers) can be used to confirm your understanding, make conclusions or summaries, or set the tone and scope of a more formal or structured conversation. However, they can kill a conversation and make it feel interrogatory. • Open questions (any possible answer) allow you to probe for depth and can keep a conversation lively and open-ended. Use both in the “funnel question” technique, which probes for information down a narrowing path of increasing detail, starting broad and progressively becoming more specific. Start with open questions, then drill down for more detail as you go, eventually reversing the funnel if necessary.#FunnelQuestions #Openended #Probing #Question #Rhetorical #EffectiveListener #RussellNewton #NewtonMG #PatrickKing #PatrickKingConsulting #SocialSkillsCoaching #HowtoSpeakEffectively #Communication’sMostUnderratedSkill

The Power of E.Q.: Social Intelligence, Reading People, and How to Navigate Any Situation By: Patrick KingHear it Here - https://adbl.co/3OJ4V72https://www.amazon.com/dp/B0C3CC2RM3Your success in life will depend on how good you are with people. Sorry, that's the harsh truth.But the good news is that this is a trainable skill - and this book is an amazing start.Make a smashing first impression and make people crave your presence.The Power of E.Q. is as practical as a book can be. You will get techniques to use immediately on the people around you, and you will suddenly realize how much you have been missing! You will gain a deep understanding of emotional intelligence and the small signs behind what people are thinking and feeling. Imagine how much more easily you could make friends or befriend business partners if you could analyze them better.Read and analyze people with such stunning accuracy that they will be shocked.Patrick King is an internationally bestselling author and social skills coach. His writing draws of a variety of sources, from scientific research, academic experience, coaching, and real-life experience.Find the shortcuts to connecting with people in record time. conversational intelligence and how to empathize in 4 steps how to step outside of your own perspective and read the emotions of others cold reading and being an expert at finding "clues" about people understanding emotions and how to label yourself and others how high-quality questions will make you seem like a mind reader#DrDurvasula #PatrickKing #RussellNewton #NewtonMG #PatrickKing #PatrickKingConsulting #SocialSkillsCoaching #ThePowerofE.Q. #HandlingBigEgos—IncludingYourOwn #

Easily listen to Social Skills Coaching in your podcast app of choice at https://bit.ly/social-skills-home00:02:26 Anatomy of a Good Question00:04:10 A Good Quality Question Is Open-Ended.00:06:11 High-Quality Questions Actively Follow Up.00:08:23 High-Quality Questions Use Paraphrasing.00:09:37 High-Quality Questions Are Balanced With Self-Revelation.00:10:37 Questions You Should Never Ask00:17:53 Chapter SummaryHear it Here - adbl.co/3OJ4V72• High-quality questions are targeted, focused on understanding and not judgment, open-ended, and tend to paraphrase and connect to what has already been said. Balance questions with your own self-revelation. Remember what people say and follow up with thoughtful questions that show that you’ve truly heard and processed the message.• Certain questions should always be avoided: those concerning jobs, salaries, financial costs, choices around children, relationship status, weight, diet choices, or physical appearance. #HighQualityQuestions #SelfRevelation #RussellNewton #NewtonMG #PatrickKing #PatrickKingConsulting #SocialSkillsCoaching #ThePowerofE.Q. #AnatomyOfAGoodQuestion

Easily listen to Social Skills Coaching in your podcast app of choice at https://bit.ly/social-skills-home00:08:57 How to Build Curiosity00:13:49 Assume Nothing 00:16:40 Person, Not Story 00:19:15 You Go First Hear it Here - https://adbl.co/3N9lsjI• Maintain reciprocal curiosity and the mindset that you can always learn something new from others. Be fully present, open-minded, and receptive rather than approaching with bias, judgment, or distraction. Instead of trying to convince others how fascinating you are, find what is fascinating about others. Conversations are co-creations!• Genuinely connect to others by listening deeply, focusing on the person and not their story, and never making judgments or assumptions. Listen to understand, not to respond; listen primarily for emotion, not just fact. One way you can show that you’re willing to really listen to people is self-disclosure.#Conflict #Conversation #Curiosity #Listen #ListenDeeply #RussellNewton #NewtonMG #PatrickKing #PatrickKingConsulting #SocialSkillsCoaching #MakeFriendsEasily #ReciprocalCuriosity

Easily listen to Social Skills Coaching in your podcast app of choice at https://bit.ly/social-skills-homeHear it Here - https://adbl.co/3N9lsjI00:02:31 How to Paint the Picture00:02:59 To get a hang of using imagery in conversation, you need to master the use of three tools: 1. Concreteness 2. Simile 3. Metaphor Concreteness is about being embedded in the world, about being real.00:08:02 Rhythm and How to Go with the Flow00:09:28 Parallelism 00:11:42 Repetition 00:12:39 Think about Winston Churchill’s famous “we shall fight them on the beaches” speech00:13:58 Alliteration and Assonance00:15:33 How to Be a Masterful Storyteller • If you want your listeners to really absorb what you say to them, paint them a mental picture. Do this by using vivid and concrete imagery, similes (using like or as), and metaphors to connect abstract ideas with more real-world ones. Use adjectives and interesting details and be a little unexpected. • Language is musical by nature, and much of the meaning it conveys comes down to its rate, its articulation, its flow, and the way it moves through time. Pay attention to the rhythm and flow of your speech. • In parallelism, we repeat certain structures to create an effect. Repetition drives our point home and makes it seem more true, as do alliteration (repetition of initial consonant sounds) and assonance (repetition of internal or vowel sounds). • Human beings react not just to “information” but to narrative; to be a good storyteller, you need to go beyond sharing information and facts, and help your listeners form an emotional connection to what you’re saying. Good stories enlist the use of our voice, body language, gestures, facial expressions, and even visual aids. • Make sure that your story illustrates supports or connects to your larger point or circumstance. Set the scene but don’t dawdle on unnecessary detail. Start with a bang and keep things at a moderate pace, being concise. Be relevant and interesting, and if you can, practice your story ahead of time!#Alliteration #Assonance #Brevity #ChipsChannon #Concreteness #Metaphor #Parallelism #Repetition #Rhythm #RussellNewton #NewtonMG #PatrickKing #PatrickKingConsulting #SocialSkillsCoaching #HowtoSpeakEffectively #MasteringStyleandTone

Easily listen to Social Skills Coaching in your podcast app of choice at https://bit.ly/social-skills-home00:02:26 The Emotions Wheel and Learning to Label00:04:47 Different versions of the Emotion Wheel00:07:39 1. Anger00:08:46 6. Disgust 00:09:53 7. Fear 00:10:53 8. Happy 00:12:26 9. Sadness00:13:37 10. Surprise00:14:45 11. Bad00:21:36 Step 1: Put a name to the emotion (the Emotion Wheel can help).00:29:31 What Invalidation Looks LikeHear it Here - adbl.co/3OJ4V72• Becoming more emotionally intelligent requires understanding of what emotions are, how to read them, how to feel and label our own experiences, and how to validate them in the people around us. We need to develop empathy, social skills, self-awareness, and self-control.• There are universal basic human emotions, but they express themselves in varying degree, variety, and intensity. A tool like the Emotion Wheel can help you build emotional literacy and pinpoint precise feelings and emotions. Primary emotions include anger, fear, disgust, happiness, surprise, and just plain “bad.” If you become an expert at knowing exactly how you feel, however, you are never in the position of misunderstanding yourself and will be a more effective and coherent person as a result.• The more emotionally literate we become with our own experiences, the better we can recognize them in others. Pay attention, listen, and then (tentatively) call out the emotion you think someone is experiencing. Verbalize the emotion by putting a name to it, and without judgment or interpretation, validate their experience. Remember that you’re not validating the factual content of what they’re saying, but the emotional content.#EmotionalValidation #EmotionWheel #EQ #Invalidation #DanielGoleman #Validate #Validating #Validation #RussellNewton #NewtonMG #PatrickKing #PatrickKingConsulting #SocialSkillsCoaching #ThePowerofE.Q.

Easily listen to Social Skills Coaching in your podcast app of choice at https://bit.ly/social-skills-home00:01:54 Bestselling author and self-help guru Tim Ferriss 00:04:20 Be Very Aware of Personal Space00:06:42 Stay Present00:09:07 In a now famous 1977 interview Barbara Walters did with Dolly PartonHear it Here - https://adbl.co/3N9lsjI• To create a reality distortion field, you will need to increase eye contact, be aware of your personal space, and stay present and open-minded in conversations. Charismatic, confident people are physically present, without being imposing or threatening, and their eye contact is natural. They do not let judgment, anxiety, or distraction undermine their presence in the moment. The key is to acknowledge people and make them feel important. • The biggest impact you make on people does not come from what you say, but from how you are.#BarbaraWalters #BeVeryAware #BillClinton #Charismatic #DollyParton #EyeContact #Ferriss #PersonalSpace #Charismatic #StayPresent #TimFerriss #RussellNewton #NewtonMG #PatrickKing #PatrickKingConsulting #SocialSkillsCoaching #MakeFriendsEasily/home/russell/Charismatic-confident-people-physically-imposing-threatening-eye-contact-natural/1-man-and-woman-near-sea-2833389-Emma-Bauso.jpg

Easily listen to Social Skills Coaching in your podcast app of choice at https://bit.ly/social-skills-homeHear it Here - https://adbl.co/3N9lsjI00:03:51 Get Comfortable with Pausing 00:09:20 The Dangers of “Hedging Language”00:14:35 Upspeak and the Mystery of Tone00:19:37 The Five Types of Communication Tone00:20:55 Type 1: Informative 00:21:20 Type 2: Humorous 00:21:40 Type 3: Respectful 00:22:08 Type 4: Formal 00:22:28 Type 5: Informal 00:31:36 Transitioning to a New Point 00:32:34 Providing More Details on One Point00:33:17 Linking Similar Points Together#CommunicationTone #Conversational #DrKamiAnderson #HedgingLanguage #JamesGorman #Signpost #Signposting #Summarizing #Upspeak #RussellNewton #NewtonMG #EliminateCrutchWordsAndEmptyLanguage #PatrickKing #HowtoSpeakEffectively

Easily listen to Social Skills Coaching in your podcast app of choice at https://bit.ly/social-skills-home00:02:24 Similarly, so called Barnum statements, named after famed showman and Hoaxbuster P t.00:05:56 Avoid Emotional Disconnectors and Word Trash00:13:47 Elizabeth Stoke is a professor of social interaction at Lowborough University00:16:13 Researchers at Amsterdam's Vu University 00:16:24 Lead researcher Camille Buickenboom 00:18:41 Jacob Hirsch and Jordan Peterson from the University of Toronto00:19:12 Social psychologist James W. Pennebaker and his colleagues00:29:14 Summary Hear it Here - adbl.co/3OJ4V72• Use the principles of cold reading to create quick rapport and “read” nonverbal expressions to gain insight into their personalities. Observe, redirect their attention, collaborate with them, and gather information during back-and-forth conversation. Pay close attention to the details and make constantly updated predictions, maintaining warmth while you redirect from incorrect guesses.• Finally, avoid emotional disconnect caused by “trash words” such as “just,” “honestly,” “amazing,” “slay it,” or “should.”• Listen to how somebody speaks and uses language to gain insight into their mental models of the world. Notice the focus of their speech, their pronoun use, their positioning of subject and object, and how they explain neutral events. Always be curious about what this expression tells you about the person’s perspective, beliefs, worldview, and focus.#AvoidEmotionalDisconnectors #Barnum #Beukeboom #BigFive #CamielBeukeboom #ElizabethStokoe #EllenLeanse #EQ #HowWordChoiceRevealsCharacter #JacobHirsh #JamesWPennebaker #JordanPeterson #Kufner #LinguisticInquiry #LoughboroughUniversity #Nonverbal #Openmindedness #Pennebaker #PTBarnum #Shotgunning #RussellNewton #NewtonMG #PatrickKing #PatrickKingConsulting #SocialSkillsCoaching #ThePowerofE.Q.

Easily listen to Social Skills Coaching in your podcast app of choice at https://bit.ly/social-skills-home00:00:35 The Friendship Formula is a simple framework for building and maintaining strong friendships.00:07:04 The Friendship Formula 00:09:13 Dr. Jack Schaefer, former FBI agent and author of The Like Switch, has a theory that might have the answer.00:19:04 How to Use Schaefer's formula to Your BenefitHear it Here - https://adbl.co/3N9lsjI • Dr. Jack Schafer’s “friendship formula” is as follows: Friendship = Proximity + Frequency + Duration + Intensity. Friendship will develop according to the sum of all these four elements. That means that one element can be relatively weak if another compensates by being extra strong. • Building friendships is about fostering increasing closeness—i.e., proximity. Greater frequency also means a stronger chance of friendship developing. The more frequently you engage with someone, the more they feel like part of your world. Friendship takes time to build, so greater duration of time spent together means greater chance of friendship. Finally, it matters how well you’re able to satisfy another person’s needs during any social interaction. The more you can, the better the chance of striking up a friendship. • When making friends, deliberately find ways to increase proximity and the duration, frequency, and intensity of your interactions with people, in that order. Go slow!#ACTION #CignaLonelinessReport #CityIndexSurvey #DrJackSchafer #DrSchafer #FRIENDSHIPFORMULA #LonelinessProject #Schafer #SchafersFormula #RussellNewton #NewtonMG #PatrickKing #PatrickKingConsulting #SocialSkillsCoaching #MakeFriendsEasily

Easily listen to Social Skills Coaching in your podcast app of choice at https://bit.ly/social-skills-home00:01:10 In 1974, business professor Chris Argyris created a handy tool00:06:22 How to Use the Ladder in Your Own Life00:16:02 Consider the following speech made by Barack Obama at the 2004 Democratic National Convention00:18:23 George Lakoff is an author and professor of cognitive science and linguistics.Hear it Here - https://adbl.co/3N9lsjI • Poor communication arises as a result of a mismatch of perspectives, approach, or conversational skill. People process information differently, but to avoid misunderstandings, communicate consciously and use the “ladder of inference.” It shows the unique way that people use their experiences to make meaning: observations > selected data > meanings > assumptions > conclusions > beliefs > actions. • Conflict can occur when people are on different rungs. To improve communication, see where people are and how their ladder of inference is working for them, then speak to that, in sequence, and without blame or shame. • Good communicators deliberately create their own frames during conversations and position their line of thinking by using specially chosen words, expressions, and images. Change frames and you change meaning. • Deliberately engineer your conversational frame and invite the other person in using pre-existing concepts they’re familiar with to improve the chances they’ll be receptive. Remember that reality is fixed, but the meaning of reality is dynamic and subject to change. #ACTIONS #ACTIONSBELIEFSCONCLUSIONSASSUMPTIONSMEANINGSSELECTEDDATAOBSERVATIONS #Argyris #ASSUMPTIONS #BELIEFS #Birkin #ChrisArgyris #CONCLUSIONS #GeorgeLakoff #Hermes #MEANING #POOLOFOBSERVATIONS #SELECTEDDATA #RussellNewton #NewtonMG #SocialSkillsCoaching #PatrickKindConsulting #PatrickKing

Easily listen to Social Skills Coaching in your podcast app of choice at https://bit.ly/social-skills-home00:02:54 Author Nick Morgan describes in his book Power Cues 00:08:34 How to Master Nonverbal Communication00:12:08 Body Language Basics00:14:37 Look for Clusters of Behavior 00:15:26 Don’t Be Afraid to Trust Your Instincts00:16:16 What to Look At00:18:50 The Art of Cold Reading00:19:50 Four Important Cold Reading Principles00:21:36 Redirection00:22:32 Collaboration00:23:19 ConversationHear it Here - adbl.co/3OJ4V72• Be mindful of your meta-language and make sure that your verbal and nonverbal signals are aligned. Nonverbal communication can repeat, substitute, complement, or accent our verbal communication. If it doesn’t, we risk sending mixed messages or lowering trust. Pay attention to messages sent using facial expressions, body posture, gestures, eye contact, touch, use of space, and voice characteristics. • To build mindful awareness of your nonverbal communication, try to eliminate in-the-moment stress (by breathing, pausing, and connecting with your five senses) and cultivate emotional awareness (including the ability to tolerate and accept emotions as they are). • When reading body language, think holistically, dynamically, relatively, and in context. Don’t rely on single data points, but look for clusters of behavior, inconsistencies with context, and a shift from baseline. #AuthorNickMorgan #BodyLanguageBasics #Clusters #ColdReading #Collaboration #Communication #EQ #FourImportantColdReadingPrinciples #MasterNonverbalCommunication #Morgan #Observation #Posture #Redirection #Stress #Substitution #RussellNewton #NewtonMG #PatrickKing #PatrickKingConsulting #SocialSkillsCoaching #ThePowerofE.Q.

Easily listen to Social Skills Coaching in your podcast app of choice at https://bit.ly/social-skills-home00:03:54 Use a Journal and Be Your Own Therapist00:06:50 How to Use AffirmationsHear it Here - adbl.co/3To6NDu• A journal is a powerful self-help tool that slows your thoughts, keeps track of your progress, and helps you uncover patterns as well as develop your values and goals. Use writing prompts to guide self-exploration without judgment.• Recurrent themes will emerge over time, and these can be inverted to create your own affirmations. These become like useful shortcuts to guide and shape your journey to healthier boundaries, better communication, and stronger self-identity.#Affirmations #Journal #Journaling #Meditate #Peoplepleasing #Relationship #SetBoundaries #RussellNewton #NewtonMG #PatrickKing #PatrickKingConsulting #SocialSkillsCoaching #StandUpForYourself #SetBoundaries #StopPleasingOthers

Easily listen to Social Skills Coaching in your podcast app of choice at https://bit.ly/social-skills-homeHear it Here - adbl.co/3OJ4V72• Empathy is the ability to share someone else’s feelings or experiences by imagining what it would be like to be in that person’s situation, and being able to occupy their perceptual position/perspective. In NLP’s “perceptual positions” exercise, first position is your own point of view, second position is another person’s, and third position concerns the view of you both from a third, neutral observer perspective. • By switching between these positions, you gain more insight, understanding, and empathy, and find solutions to problems. No position is best, but wisdom comes from being able to skillfully shift between all three. • Perspective-taking is an act of social imagination where you temporarily set aside your own frame of reference and entertain another, possibly very different one. Self-awareness and awareness of others means we can develop theory of mind and a certain mental flexibility.• Build this capacity by looking at pictures of people and trying the “step inside” activity, the “step in, step out, and step back” activity, or the “context” exercise. These will help you strengthen your ability to consider the world through other people’s eyes. • One of the biggest obstacles to genuine empathy and emotional intelligence is ego—our own and others’. When dealing with people who are constantly self-referential, uninterested in things that don’t benefit them, lacking in personal accountability and empathy, and have a heightened opinion of themselves, try to avoid getting into a battle of the egos. Lower expectations, stay firm in your boundaries, and maintain distance. • Watch for narcissism in yourself, too: Don’t assume you’re immune to self-absorption, work on your self-esteem, and consciously mix with those who don’t always confirm your worldview. #DrDurvasula #DSM #Durvasula #Egotist #EgotisticalPeople #Empathy #Entitlement #EQ #Incivility #RamaniSDurvasula #Narcissism #NLP #Perspectivetaking #Ramani #StepInsideExercise #StepOutStepBackExercise #RussellNewton #NewtonMG #PatrickKing #PatrickKingConsulting #SocialSkillsCoaching #ThePowerofEQ

Easily listen to Social Skills Coaching in your podcast app of choice at https://bit.ly/social-skills-home00:02:32 You’ll Know That Codependency Is Part Of Your Need To People-Please If:00:05:00 Make Yourself Your New Rescue Project00:08:42 Gradually Separate Yourself.00:09:23 Become Curious Where Your Bad Feelings Come From.00:10:54 Stop Making Excuses.00:12:30 Use A Journal to discover the roots of your behavior.Hear it Here - adbl.co/3To6NDu• People-pleasers can sometimes fall into codependent relationships, where one person is reliant on another, whether that’s physically, emotionally, mentally, or even spiritually. These toxic dynamics can only be broken when the person is able to re-prioritize themselves as their own “rescue project” and rewrite the core belief that they are only good people if they are needed. This requires understanding the roots of behavior and refusing to make excuses anymore.#Addiction #Codependency #RussellNewton #NewtonMG #PatrickKing #PatrickKingConsulting #SocialSkillsCoaching #StandUpForYourself #SetBoundaries #&StopPleasingOthers

Easily listen to Social Skills Coaching in your podcast app of choice at https://bit.ly/social-skills-home00:03:40 In Aristotle's time, Oration was an honored art and tradition00:04:00 Ethos00:06:26 Pathos00:12:25 Cairos 00:20:29 Workplace Communication Etiquette00:32:16 The Seven C's of Effective Workplace Communication00:38:16 SummaryHear it Here - https://bit.ly/3GAwNag• Persuasion is about trying to change or influence someone’s mind, and it rests on knowing what that person’s values, perspectives, and needs are so you can address them directly. • According to Aristotle, the four main modes of persuasion are ethos (appeal to authority), pathos (appeal to emotion), logos (appeal to reason), and kairos (making an argument at the right time and place). Good oration and rhetoric are not about which mode fits you or your message best, but knowing how to put your message in a form that the audience is most likely to hear.• To speak to pathos, be vulnerable or share a personal experience or even a secret. To speak to logos, use hard data and evidence or a deductive or inductive argument. To speak to ethos, share genuine and relevant credentials. In all cases, try to understand your audience’s emotional state, their perspective, and their most pressing need, then present your message in terms that will appeal to them most. • Workplace communication runs on all the same communication rules, but we have to consider the bigger role that written and electronic communication plays, too. Professional communication is more about appropriateness, politeness, custom, convention, and formality. • We need to consider the goal, content, and medium to the message, as well as the audience. First, clarify the reason for communication and let that decide the most appropriate medium. Factor in your company’s unique communication culture and be mindful of your tone. • Professional communication should follow the seven Cs: It should be clear, concise, correct, concrete, considerate, complete, and courteous.

Easily listen to Social Skills Coaching in your podcast app of choice at https://bit.ly/social-skills-home00:06:44 As Stephen Covey says, seek first to understand, then to be understood.00:10:38 The Four Types of Empathic Responses00:16:15 What Do You Do When Things Go Right?00:28:54 Shift responses versus Support ResponsesHear it Here - adbl.co/3OJ4V72• Emotional intelligence is also something we do rather than something we are. Thankfully, it can be learned. • Empathic listening is total, genuine attention to the other person and the message they are trying to convey. Set aside your own ego and perspective and become genuinely curious about someone else’s world, listening to understand rather than to respond. Be curious and receptive rather than reactive, “listening” to verbal and nonverbal signals. • To respond empathically, acknowledge their courage, ask questions to clarify their message, convey that you care, and check in with how they’re feeling. • Offer responses that are both active and constructive, rather than passive and destructive, to create trust and connection. Remember that your response to someone’s positive expressions is a bigger determinant of the relationship quality than how you treat them when they’re unhappy. Show genuine interest in what you’re told and match and reflect people’s emotional experiences rather than invalidating it.• Practice offering support responses (which maintain the focus on the speaker) instead of shift responses (which shift the focus of the conversation back onto you) if you want to avoid conversational narcissism. Try not to continually center your own emotional experiences or interpret other people’s experiences through the lens of your own. Instead, see conversation as a genuine back and forth and deliberately set aside yourself to learn more about others. #ActiveConstructive #ActiveDestructive #CharlesDerber #ConstructiveResponding #EmpathicListening #GableGonzagaStrachman #PassiveConstructive #PassiveDestructive #RussellNewton #NewtonMG #PatrickKing #PatrickKingConsulting #SocialSkillsCoaching #ThePowerofE.Q.

Easily listen to Social Skills Coaching in your podcast app of choice at https://bit.ly/social-skills-home00:01:42 Pleasing others becomes a transaction or a deal 00:02:44 Mindfulness Meditation for People-Pleasers 00:06:09 1. Sit somewhere comfortably, slow your breathing, and relax. 00:06:16 2. If worries, concerns, and anxious thoughts pop up, say hello to them but set them aside. 00:06:26 3. Focus calmly on your breathing 00:06:37 4. When distracting thoughts pop up again, set them aside again and come back to your breath.00:09:02 Loving-Kindness Meditation for People-PleasersHear it Here - adbl.co/3To6NDu• Kindness and compassion are wonderful if they are genuine. People-pleasers need to learn to develop the skill of genuine kindness rather than acting out of fear, obligation, or a sense of transaction. Mindfulness and loving-kindness practice are two ways to help rescue genuine compassion from the need to please.• Mindfulness meditation is about presence and being aware of the present moment without judgment or grasping. Go calm and quiet within, setting aside thoughts as they arrive and accepting what is without trying too hard to achieve any particular end.• Loving-kindness meditation practices generating warm, accepting, and loving attention and extending it to others as well as to yourself. Visualize kindness flowing to the people you love, then progressively to others, and finally to yourself. Compassion does not mean agreement or forgiveness, only that we can acknowledge that as human beings, we all have worth since we are part of what is.#Boundary #Compassion #Lovingkindness #LovingKindnessMeditation #Meditation #Mindfulness #MindfulnessMeditation #Peoplepleasers #RussellNewton #NewtonMG #PatrickKing #PatrickKingConsulting #SocialSkillsCoaching #StandUpForYourself #SetBoundaries #StopPleasingOthers

Easily listen to Social Skills Coaching in your podcast app of choice at https://bit.ly/social-skills-home00:02:29 The COIN Framework 00:03:59 In Carroll’s book, The Feedback Imperative: How to Give Feedback to Speed Up Your Team's Success00:16:56 How to Say No 00:26:48 Technique 1: The Agreement Frame 00:37:41 Technique 2: VOMP 00:42:13 Technique 3: Nonviolent Communication00:53:53 The Six-Step ApologyHear it Here - https://bit.ly/3GAwNag• The goal during conflict is to increase positive feelings for everyone involved. One way to do this is with Carroll’s COIN framework—context, observations, impact, and next (follow-up actions). Use plenty of “I” statements, pause often, and be as clear and direct as possible. When giving feedback, focus on what can be done in the future rather than what has already been done.• There are many ways to navigate communication when you disagree. The agreement frame helps the other person release their resistance to your perspective because you are able to really support their views or values first and seek common ground that puts you on the same team. • The art of saying no includes understanding the different kinds of assertions, including basic assertions (statements of facts and limits), empathic assertions (asserting needs and limits whilst acknowledging others’ with kindness), consequence assertions (following through with consequences of not respecting your boundary), discrepancy assertions (drawing attention to difference between what was agreed and what is happening), and negative feeling assertions (owning your own emotions and stating them).• VOMP is another technique and stands for voice/vent, own, moccasins, and plan. Say your piece and allow the other person to say theirs, own your part in the conflict, show empathy for their perspective, and then move forward with a concrete plan on how to act in the future. • Marshall Rosenberg’s nonviolent communication is about making neutral observations, expressing feelings with “I” statements, sharing needs, and making reasonable and respectful requests. • If none of these three techniques work, you can manage a difficult person by “fogging” (being as neutral and non-reactive as possible) or repeating boundaries like a “broken record” until they lose interest. • Finally, learn the six elements of a successful and genuine apology: express regret and remorse, explain yourself, accept full responsibility, repent, make an offer for reparations, and, only at the end, request forgiveness. Realize that you are not entitled to forgiveness, and accept whatever happens with grace.#AgreementFrame #AnnaCarroll #COINFramework #Communication #Lewicki #MarshallFritz #MarshallRosenberg #NVP #Ransberger #RansbergerPivot #RayRansberger #RoyLewicki #SixStepApology #VOMP #RussellNewton #NewtonMG #PatrickKing #PatrickKingConsulting #SocialSkillsCoaching

Easily listen to Social Skills Coaching in your podcast app of choice at https://bit.ly/social-skills-home00:05:11 Step 1: Be Aware of What You Feel 00:09:47 Step 2: Normalize 00:11:52 Step 3: Tell the Truth Hear it Here - adbl.co/3To6NDu• When we engage in people-pleasing, we are trying to extract validation, approval, and liking from other people. However, self-validation is the ability to provide all these things for ourselves.• We create self-validation when we acknowledge and accept how we feel without judgment, normalize that feeling, then speak the truth about it.#Boundary #Normalize #Peoplepleasing #Selfvalidation #RussellNewton #NewtonMG #PatrickKing #PatrickKingConsulting #SocialSkillsCoaching #StandUpForYourself #SetBoundaries #StopPleasingOthers

Easily listen to The Science of Self in your podcast app of choice at https://bit.ly/ScienceOfSelfPodcasthttp://bit.ly/GeniusHollins• Lincoln’s genius traits included intellectual honesty, morality, non-conventionality, and soft skills such as empathy and communication.• Lincoln had little formal education and had an ordinary background, but was someone who possessed all the skills we associate with genius. He was most talented, perhaps, at working with the genius of others.• After he was elected president, Lincoln surprised everyone by appointing his “team of rivals” consisting of the men he had beaten in the election, and who often disagreed with him. But with this team, he was able to achieve the enormous accomplishments he is still known for today.• Like Darwin, Lincoln understood that success and learning come from challenge and the courage to consider alternate and conflicting viewpoints. Lincoln’s cabinet also allowed him to make use of people’s diverse talents.• Lincoln was also, unlike many in this book, a master at soft skills such as empathy, communication, and the ability to tap into a strong moral code of ethics to power his goals. • The five genius traits already covered are enhanced and transmitted more effectively when combined with these soft skills, as Lincoln demonstrates. Under his leadership, the Civil War ended with emancipation and the end of slavery, as well as a new and unified national spirit that defined the democratic principles of the country going forward. • To be like Lincoln, we need to know how to ask for help, to work with others, to engage our critics and competition strategically, and to take even our enemies as our best teachers. • Lincoln also teaches us the power of connecting not only with our own moral compass, but with other people via their values and principles, to become better communicators and more effective leaders.#AbrahamLincoln #AdamSmith #AmericanCivilWar #Confederacy #Darwin #Declaration #Descartes #DorisKearnsGoodwin #Edison #Einstein #Genius #Gettysburg #GettysburgAddress #IsaacNewton #Kentucky #Lincoln #Nonconventionality #PoliticalGenius #Socrates #SoldiersNationalCemetery #Tesla #RussellNewton #NewtonMG #PeterHollins #TheScienceofSelf #ThinkLikeaGenius

Easily listen to Social Skills Coaching in your podcast app of choice at https://bit.ly/social-skills-home00:01:12 Broadly speaking, there are three types of validation: 00:01:44 1. Emotional Validation 00:03:52 2. Behavioral Validation 00:05:49 3. Cognitive Validation 00:10:02 In Listening to Conflict, author Eric Van Slyke outlines six listening levels.00:14:37 To be a good listener, try to remember H-U-R: •Hearing the Message •Understanding the message •Responding to the messageHear it Here - https://bit.ly/3GAwNag• Validation is the process of genuinely hearing, seeing, and witnessing another person’s lived reality and allowing it to be what it is. It’s crucial in good communication. Validation is not agreement or reinforcement but recognizing emotions for what they are. It can be emotional, behavioral, or cognitive—or all three. • Good listening is the ability to be open and receptive, to accept what we’re told, but also to process and really engage with that information so that we can also return it to the speaker if appropriate.• There are six increasing levels of listening: passive, responsive, selective, attentive, active, and empathic. Remember your role as a listener with the HUR acronym: hear the message, understand it, and respond. We can respond and show our understanding by paraphrasing, reflecting, and summarizing. #Clarification #Cognitive #CommunicationSkills #Confirm #EricVanSlyke #HURHearing #Reflecting #Responsive #Validation #RussellNewton #NewtonMG #PatrickKing #PatrickKingConsulting #SocialSkillsCoaching #CommunicationSkillsTraining

Easily listen to Social Skills Coaching in your podcast app of choice at https://bit.ly/social-skills-home00:02:55 Technique 1: Playing It Cool00:07:02 Technique 2: Pulling A Columbo 00:07:29 The technique is pretty straightforward: 1. Get People Talking Freely And Carelessly 2. Slip In A Question When Their Guard Is Down 3. Show No Indication Of What’s Happened 00:11:20 •Avoid Confrontation 00:11:36 •Don’t Make A Big Show Of Listening. 00:11:53 •Play Dumb. 00:12:14 •If In Doubt, Ask People To Repeat Themselves.00:12:53 Technique 3: False Replay00:17:00 Technique 4: Leading Questions00:24:19 Technique 5: Be Provocative00:29:18 Technique 6: Gauge Response, Not AnswersHear it Here - https://bit.ly/ExtractInfo• To take our information extraction to the next level, we can use lighter, more relaxed versions of the interrogation techniques practiced by law enforcement.• One key approach is to lower the person’s defenses by not appearing to them as a threat. This can be done by being casual and informal, or even prying when official interrogations are over. The trick is to behave as though you’re not especially invested in their answer.• The Columbo technique relies on this impression of casualness so that a question can be sneakily slipped in and answered while the person’s guard is down. Play dumb, ask people to repeat themselves, and maintain a degree of plausible deniability. Hide questions in comments or statements that the other person can’t help but respond to—and reveal themselves.• The false replay technique aims to confuse and disorient a liar and get them to slip up or confess. You repeat back their story but make a “mistake” with a crucial detail, and watch their reaction. A liar is most likely to ignore it, while a truth teller will correct you. Liars are also most likely to grow agitated, angry, or distracted with being asked to retell their story in different ways, or being asked about it repeatedly.• Leading questions are typically closed questions that guide a person’s response to where you suspect the truth lies. A question can be made with a built-in assumption, or you could lead a person with priming statements or question tags.• Being provocative is a great way to de-stabilize someone and observe their reaction—disproportionate anger, fear, or distraction indicate you’ve hit a nerve.• The golden rule is to gauge a person’s complete response to a question, and not just their verbal answer. Use questions to trigger an emotional reaction and analyze this in context.#BeProvocative #Columbo #FalseReplay #GaugeResponse #RussellNewton #NewtonMG #PatrickKing #PatrickKingConsulting #SocialSkillsCoaching #HowtoExtractInfo

Easily listen to Social Skills Coaching in your podcast app of choice at https://bit.ly/social-skills-home00:05:12 Tip 1: Just Keep Quiet Really.00:05:49 Tip 2: Show Your Compassion And Kindness ... Just In A Different Way 00:07:00 Tip 3: Train A Different Automatic Response 00:08:07 Tip 4: Change Apology Into Gratitude 00:09:12 Tip 5: Speak Plainly 00:10:45 Tip 6: Reframe Your Idea Of Politeness 00:12:27 Tip 7: Imperfect Is Not Wrong 00:13:34 Tip 8: Discern What Is In Your Zone Of Control Hear it Here - adbl.co/3To6NDu• People-pleasers often engage in self-sabotaging behavior: over-apologizing. This happens for many reasons, most commonly low self-esteem, the desire to please others, awkwardness and discomfort, conflict avoidance, anxiety, and perfectionism.• To overcome over-apologizing, try to practice simply staying silent or expressing concern and compassion in different ways. You could also train out the “sorry habit” by expressing what you really mean to express—for example, gratitude. Don’t apologize for being imperfect, and reframe your idea of politeness so that it includes plain, honest, clear speech, which is always more truthful and assertive. Finally, don’t apologize for things that are outside your control.#Apologizing #Politeness #RussellNewton #NewtonMG #PatrickKing #PatrickKingConsulting #SocialSkillsCoaching #StandUpForYourself #SetBoundaries #StopPleasingOthers

Easily listen to Social Skills Coaching in your podcast app of choice at https://bit.ly/social-skills-home00:02:56 According to Psychology Today, emotional intelligence (EI) is “the ability to identify and manage one’s own emotions as well as the emotions of others."00:04:02 Cultivating Emotional Awareness00:08:01 Harnessing Those Pesky Emotions 00:13:09 Emotional Management 00:16:15 Validation As Connection 00:17:47 What Validation ISN’T Hear it Here - https://bit.ly/3GAwNag• There is no communication without emotions. That means that conversational intelligence is emotional intelligence. EQ is a mix of three skills: awareness of emotions, harnessing emotions, and managing emotions. • If we are emotionally aware, we are able to identify what we are feeling in a conversation as well as observe and comprehend what another person is feeling—even if it’s wildly different from our own experience. We are also then in a position to harness those emotions and to proactively and consciously choose a response.• Slow down or pause, reflect what you’re being told, and see if you can put the newly identified and named emotion to good use. • Managing emotions means being conscious and deliberate: We can accept and acknowledge how we feel but still make conscious choices about our behavior according to our chosen goals. #CommunicationSkills #CultivatingEmotionalAwareness #DanielGoleman #EI #EQ #IQ #JohnDMayer #PeterSalovey #PsychologyToday #Validation #RussellNewton #NewtonMG #PatrickKing #PatrickKingConsulting #SocialSkillsCoaching #CommunicationSkillsTraining

Easily listen to Social Skills Coaching in your podcast app of choice at https://bit.ly/social-skills-home00:07:45 Technique One Shotgun Statements00:09:09 Technique Two Barnum Statements00:11:45 Technique Three ignoring the misses00:14:38 Technique Four passing off failures as successes00:17:11 Technique Five Keeping It VagueHear it Here - https://bit.ly/ExtractInfo• We can improve our information extraction skills by following some of the techniques used by fake psychics when they do “cold reading.”• General principles for cold reading include being subtle, open-ended, and allowing the other person to guide you—without them realizing that you are not doing anything magical but merely working with the information that they provide.• Shotgun statements are random statements made in order to see what response you get so you can follow it up on what sticks.• Barnum statements are those that are likely to be perceived as relevant to individuals, even though they apply to almost everyone. Barnum statements are broad guesses that look specific but actually have a high probability of being on the mark.• When using shotgun or Barnum statements, a cold reader can also ignore their misses and focus on their hits, concealing the fact that they are guessing.• Another way to mask misses is to pass them off as successes retroactively, or rework your claim to make it seem as though you were right all along.• Cold readers deliberately keep things vague to start with, and then fine tune their approach according to the feedback they receive. They begin with a non-committal, low-stakes guess and then, by degree, inch closer to the truth using their audience’s response or lack of it.• A key principle in cold reading is to pay attention to reactions of all kinds, including nonverbal ones.• Expert cold reading combines all of these techniques seamlessly and swiftly to give the impression that the “psychic” has plucked accurate information from the air, when in reality, it has been fed to him unwittingly by the audience all along!#ShotgunStatements #RussellNewton #NewtonMG #PatrickKing #PatrickKingConsulting #SocialSkillsCoaching #HowtoExtractInfo #ColdReading #BarnumStatements #/home/russell/temp/KingEpi-2023-05-23-06-54-yZQ96NEHwQ/psychic-mystic-clairvoyant/1-woman-in-gray-and-black-striped-long-sleeve-shirt-sitting-beside-black-table-7267741-Pavel-Danilyuk.jpg

Easily listen to Social Skills Coaching in your podcast app of choice at https://bit.ly/social-skills-home00:08:38 Psychologist Craig Malkin's book Rethinking Narcissism00:10:59 The Soft Startup 00:13:19 The Empathic Communication Toolkit for Handling Conflict 00:20:47 Use techniques like the Positive no or the Soft Startup https://adbl.co/3shIydQ• To be both assertive and empathic, use techniques like the “positive no” or the “soft startup” when setting a boundary. • When managing conflicts or difficult communication, remember to use open-ended questions; focus on strengths; let the other person lead; normalize rather than pathologize; and use open, conciliatory body language to show that you are on the same side. #Communicating #Communication #Conciliatory #ConversationalTools #CraigMalkins #DifficultConversation #EmpathicAssertion #EmpathicCommunicationToolkit #EmpathicStruggle #Empathy #ExpressEmpathy #Gottman #JulieGottman #Narcissism #NonviolentCommunication #SimpleEmpathicAssertion #UncomfortableConversation #UnconsciousMessage #RussellNewton #NewtonMG #PatrickKing #PatrickKingConsulting #SocialSkillsCoaching

Easily listen to Social Skills Coaching in your podcast app of choice at https://bit.ly/social-skills-home00:01:34 Talk WITH people and not TO them.00:03:07 Dr. Karl Albrecht in Psychology Today00:15:53 Sustain Conversations with Conversational Threading and Useful Acronyms 00:22:50 Useful Conversational Acronyms The acronym HPM 00:25:17 Another useful acronym is EDRHear it Here - https://bit.ly/3GAwNag• Having charm and charisma is not about you. It’s about the other person and making them feel heard, liked, and supported.• Dr. Albrecht explains that conversations contain three elements: declaratives, questions, and qualifiers. The rule of three tells us that we should not have three declarative statements in a row and should instead mix it up with a question or a qualifier. • It’s not really about the content of what you say but the emotional implications and the energy in how you say it. • Conversational threading is a technique that will help you ensure you never run out of things to say. Listen to what the other person says, pick out a few noteworthy threads, then run with one of them. When the conversation dries up, return to these threads and pick up another one and follow that instead. Be patient, ask open-ended questions, and listen for emotions. • Being a good everyday conversationalist is about being open-minded, spontaneous, and genuine. Keep things flowing! #Albrecht #CasualConversation #Communication #ConversationalAcronyms #ConversationalNarcissist #ConversationalThreading #DeclarativeStatements #DepthTechniques #DrKarlAlbrecht #EDR #EmotionDetailRestatement #EverydayConversations #HPM #RhetoricalQuestions #SkilledConversationalists #RussellNewton #NewtonMG #PatrickKing #PatrickKingConsulting #SocialSkillsCoaching

Easily listen to Social Skills Coaching in your podcast app of choice at https://bit.ly/social-skills-homeHear it Here - https://bit.ly/ExtractInfo00:01:16 From Patrick King's book how to Extract Info, Secrets and Truth, let's take a look at the importance of eye contact and then spend some time discussing active listening.00:03:34 Effects of Eye Contact and Social Status on the Perception of a Job Applicant in an Employment Interviewing Situation00:03:56 Accurate Intelligence Assessments in Social Interactions, Mediators and Gender Effects00:05:34 A 2016 Japanese study by Kajimura and Nomura titled When We Cannot Speak eye Contact Disrupts Resources Available to Cognitive Control Processes During Verb Generation00:06:22 Helping Children Think Gaze Aversion and Teaching by Phelps and Doherty Snedden, researchers found that kids told to look away while thinking and solving problems showed a 20% increase in performance.00:07:51 Eye Contact, Distance and Affiliation00:22:41 Label Emotions • Eye contact is essential for building trust. If you aren’t able to use eye contact, people will find you untrustworthy. The optimal eye contact period is around three seconds of eye contact at a time, with sufficient rest between gazes.• Active listening is a valuable skill set that any person should master, but the techniques of active listening can also help you improve your elicitation abilities and gather more information about people. You need to comprehend, retain and respond to the information people are sharing with you.• You can build rapport and connection in many ways, for example by restating, reflecting, summarizing, labeling emotions, probing (gently!) and using silence to encourage the other person to open up. Open-ended or leading questions (like those covered in the previous chapter) can subtly guide a person to open up to you.• Avoid giving advice, lecturing, sermonizing or judging.• Active listening techniques are best used when you would like someone to open up with you and share their true feelings. Other techniques are more appropriate for detecting deception.#ActiveListener #Binetti #CommunicationSkills #DohertySneddon #EmpatheticReflection #EyeContact #GazeAversion #GazeDuration #Kajimura #Kressler #LieDetection #NeuroLinguisticProgramming #Nomura #NonverbalCommunication #PupilDilation #RussellNewton #NewtonMG #PatrickKing #PatrickKingConsulting #SocialSkillsCoaching #HowtoExtractInfo #Secrets #andTruth

Hear it Here - adbl.co/3To6NDu• People-pleasing behavior can stem from a harsh inner critic, who is the one telling us that we are not worth anything unless we serve others, or that we do not deserve to have our needs met or boundaries respected.• We can push against our inner critic by becoming aware of its voice and honestly answering some questions, such as: is the choice I’m making ultimately for me or for someone else? Is this voice in my head serving my interests or working against me? The inner critic, however, is there for a reason, and we can ask what that reason is. Seek to understand what that function is, then consciously choose to meet that need in a healthier way.#InnerCritic #NegativeCoreBeliefs #Peoplepleasers #Peoplepleasing #RussellNewton #NewtonMG #PatrickKing #PatrickKingConsulting #SocialSkillsCoaching #StandUpForYourself #SetBoundaries #&StopPleasingOthers

Easily listen to Social Skills Coaching in your podcast app of choice at https://bit.ly/social-skills-homehttps://adbl.co/3shIydQ00:01:33 What to Say, What Not to Say 00:03:34 Avoid Diminishing 00:05:00 Avoid Dismissing 00:06:14 Avoid Leading Questions 00:07:11 Avoid Advice or Personal Anecdotes 00:09:31 Acknowledge Their Courage 00:09:56 Ask Empathic Questions 00:10:48 Compliment Their Character 00:11:55 Show You Care 00:12:34 An Empathic Statement Formula 00:18:18 Nonviolent Communication/NVC 00:20:48 To use NVC, we must always remember to: 00:23:40 Feelings 00:26:19 Needs00:29:49 Requests 00:34:15 When the Shoe Is on the Other Foot 00:38:43 Let's take a moment to summarize • In empathic communication, we should always seek to understand first and to create connection. Empathic statements can help, but avoid deflecting, diminishing, dismissing, dominating the conversation with leading questions, or giving advice or personal anecdotes. Instead, ask empathic questions, compliment something in their character, or do something practical to show you care. • The nonviolent communication model consists of four components: observations, feelings, needs, and requests. First, become aware of the objective facts of the situation and separate them out from interpretations, assumptions, and judgments about those facts. Next, share what you are feeling, remembering that feelings are connected to our needs, met or unmet. • Then, express these needs without blaming and without confusing needs with strategies used to meet those needs. Finally, finish with a request for that need to be met. Avoid requests that are vague, impossible to fulfil, framed as what you don’t want, or framed as a demand that can’t be refused. A request does not entitle us to receive what we ask for, so we should graciously accept if it isn’t granted. #DrMarshallRosenberg #Empathic #EmpathicConversation #EmpathicStatements #NonjudgmentalPerspective #NonviolentCommunication #NVC #Rosenberg #RussellNewton #NewtonMG #PatrickKing #PatrickKingConsulting #SocialSkillsCoaching #TrainYourEmpathyPhoto by sumit-kapoor and Pexels

00:05:40 Posture and Body Orientation 00:09:33 Eye Contact 00:10:54 A study led by Dr. Arthur Aron00:11:53 The Power of Eye Contact by psychologist Michael Ellsberg00:13:03 Kara Ronin’s “triangle technique” 00:13:41 Paralinguistics 00:15:08 The Four Ps of Voice 00:17:37 How to Improve Your Vocal Variety • When reading someone’s body language, pay attention to microexpressions, their overall posture and orientation in space, as well as their degree of eye contact. Paralinguistics refers to information carried in the tone, pace, pitch, etc. of the voice. • Think in terms of overall openness or closedness, but remember that no single detail is decisive and conclusive and that observations should always be compared against a baseline.#Communication #ConfidentSpeaker #DrArthurAron #EyeContact #InvoluntaryFacialExpression #MichaelEllsberg #NonverbalVocalCommunication #Paralinguistics #TriangleTechnique #VerbalCommunication #VerbalExpression #RussellNewton #NewtonMG #PatrickKing #PatrickKingConsulting #SocialSkillsCoaching #CommunicationSkillsTrainingPatrickKingPhoto by fauxels and Pexels

https://www.audible.com/pd/B094NZS81Q/?source_code=AUDFPWS0223189MWU-BK-ACX0-258377&ref=acx_bty_BK_ACX0_258377_pd_us00:02:54 “Stimulus Generalization as A Mechanism for Learning to Trust” by Oriel Feldman Hall00:03:23 “Trust in Close Relationships” by Rempel, Holmes, and Zanna 00:03:56 More Is Better 00:08:59 “Attitudinal Effects of Mere Exposure,” researcher Robert Zajonc 00:09:43 Credibility 00:10:50 Gass and Seiter in their book Persuasion, Social Influence, and Compliance Gaining sought to study credibility.• Trust has been shown to work in a linear fashion. The more you see someone, the more you trust them, regardless of interaction or depth. This is known as the propinquity effect and can be used to your advantage in making people feel psychologically comfortable with sharing more with you.• Credibility is a notch above trust; Trust is about people feeling that they can believe you, and credibility is where people also feel that they can rely on you. There are also proven ways to create an aura of credibility around yourself. These include highlighting qualifications, showing your caring and empathy, showing similarity, being assertive, showing social proof, not contradicting yourself, and avoiding being overly polite.#Festinger #Schachter #Credibility #Credible #DirectTrust #Familiarity #OrielFeldman #RobertZajonc #ThomasSmith #Zajonc #Zanna #RussellNewton #NewtonMG #PatrickKing #PatrickKingConsulting #SocialSkillsCoaching #HowtoExtractInfo #Secrets #andTruthPatrickKing

Hear it Here - adbl.co/3To6NDu00:03:25 Feelings Are Never Right or Wrong 00:05:26 People Are Responsible for Their Own Feelings 00:07:30 Understand What the Goal of Communication Is 00:09:18 Applying Self-Knowledge and Asking for What You Want • Assertive communication is not about force or coercion (aggressive) or pandering and submission (passive-aggressive) but about speaking confidently from the heart. To achieve mature, healthy communication, remember that feelings are never right or wrong, but it matters what we do with those feelings.• Other people are responsible for their feelings, and ultimately, the goal of communication is not to control others but to connect with them and get our mutual needs met. Finally, an important skill is to ask for what you need from a position of self-knowledge.#AggressiveCommunication #Assertive #Communication #CommunicationSkills #GoodConversation #AssertiveCommunication #NegativeEmotions #Passive #PassiveCommunication #Peoplepleasers #PoorCommunication #Reframing #SilentTreatment #SpeakLoud #SpeakClear #AndSpeakFromTheHeart #RussellNewton #NewtonMG #PatrickKing #PatrickKingConsulting #SocialSkillsCoaching #StandUpForYourself #SetBoundaries #&StopPleasingOthers

00:03:07 Can I just observe without judgment or evaluation?00:07:41 Brian Grazer is the author of the bestseller A Curious Mind: The Secret to a Bigger Life.00:10:39 Type 1: Diversive Curiosity This refers to being attracted to novelty.00:11:03 Type 2: Epistemic Curiosity Epistemology is the philosophical branch of inquiry related to the theory of knowledge itself.00:11:51 Type 3: Empathic Curiosity The type we are interested in here.00:14:16 Keep the Spark of Curiosity Alive 00:17:25 Resist Superficiality 00:20:47 No Such Thing as Boring 00:21:26 Artist and composer John Cage gives this advice: “If something is boring after two minutes, try it for four.00:23:51 Random Acts of Kindness • Avoid psychologizing. When we interpret people’s experiences, we are no longer fully listening to them. • Empathy is impossible without curiosity. Curiosity is about more than asking questions—it’s about having a sincere desire to understand someone else’s heart, mind, and complete experience. It requires imagination, a hunger to learn, and an open mind.• The main thing that gets in the way of real curiosity in empathic listening is the impulse to insert our own opinion, perspective, or frame of reference into the conversation. Imagine that learning to be interested in others is not a boring challenge, but a gift and an opportunity. • There are three kinds of curiosity: diversive (interest in novelty), epistemic (deeper inquiry into knowledge itself), and empathic. Whenever you notice mild interest in novelty, see if you can explore and amplify it till it becomes richer empathic curiosity. • Keep the spark of curiosity alive by consistently asking why, digging beneath the superficiality of a situation, and challenging yourself to see nothing as boring. • Random acts of kindness can make us more empathic. Try to be more alert to other people’s needs and respond spontaneously to them. • Kindness is a shift from focus on the self to focus on the other. Continually ask yourself, “How are other people doing? What do they need?”#Empathy #Curiosity #RussellNewton #NewtonMG #PatrickKing #PatrickKingConsulting #SocialSkillsCoaching #TrainYourEmpathy/home/russell/Dropbox/NMGMedia/Stock/JPGs/3182752.jpg

Hear it Here - https://bit.ly/3GAwNag00:01:58 Mirroring and Matching 00:03:03 In the 1970s, Richard Bandler and John Grinder introduced NLP00:05:24 Way 1: Match and Mirror External Communication Cues 00:07:31 Way 2: Match and Mirror Voice and Language 00:12:16 Way 3: Match and Mirror Internal Communication Cues 00:16:56 Way 4: Match on Content 00:18:38 Way 5: Chunking • Good conversation is firstly about the degree of concordance, harmony, and synchronicity between you and the person you’re talking to, i.e., rapport. • We can increase rapport by mirroring and matching both nonverbal and verbal expression. This can be done with internal and external cues, voice and language, content, and chunking style (i.e., up or down).#Chunking #Communication #EffortlessRapport #EmotionalContent #FacialExpression #JohnGrinder #NeuroLinguisticProgrammingNLP #NonverbalCommunication #RichardBandler #VerbalCommunication #TheRapportGame:FiveWaysToBuildRapport #RussellNewton #NewtonMG #PatrickKing #PatrickKingConsulting #SocialSkillsCoaching #CommunicationSkillsTraining/home/russell/Dropbox/NMGMedia/Stock/JPGs/64574.jpg

Hear it Here - https://bit.ly/ExtractInfo00:04:28 Elicitation Practice If none of the above work, that’s where the practice of elicitation comes in.00:08:15 Ellen Naylor in her 2016 book Win/Loss Analysis wrote about six specific elicitation techniques to get people talking.00:08:27 Recognition Practice Human beings are social animals.00:10:56 Complaining Technique This technique works with something else fundamental to human beings: how much we love to complain!00:15:45 Naïveté Technique In the same vein as the above, many people can’t help speaking up when they believe that someone is not wrong exactly, but merely trying to understand, and it’s their job to clear things up for them.00:17:57 Shift The Window This technique is a little more dramatic than the others, and may take a bit more practice, or otherwise being more familiar with the person in question.00:21:42 Silence Practice This last technique may not seem like the others, but in many cases, it can be the most powerful of all.00:25:05 Episode Takeaways • Analyze the answers to these questions cautiously, and remember to place everything in context. Note how they answer, not just the content, and also not what isn’t said. Use extrapolation to draw conclusions about what their answers say about them in a more general sense. • Questions needs to be iterative and responsive to the context and the answers you’ve already received. Also think about behavior online and in emails, or “read” a person’s possessions or home the way you would their body language. Use these observations to guide your questions.• Elicitation leads you to the information you’re looking for, without it seeming that you are. • Developed originally by the FBI, these techniques are really just ways to carefully work around conversational and societal norms to your advantage. They are effective because they work with human being’s natural social and behavioral tendencies.• For example, one tendency is towards recognition, or social connection. Use compliments or accurate observations to foster a rapport with someone or strengthen your connection. • You can also elicit information by encouraging people to complain, and in doing so, reveal something previously hidden, or else tap into the human need to correct someone’s error. Sued skillfully, most people cannot resist joining in on a complaining session or correcting an “error” you make.• Playing dumb or using naivete or ignorance will also encourage some people to try to educate you, and share vital information, especially since you will seem so non-threatening. • Finally, one technique is to say something quite dramatic to “shift the window” and then act as though nothing has happened; subtly, you may well elicit a revealing response. Silence can also be used effectively, since it encourages people to fill the gap with the information you want to know. #AccurateAssessments #AccurateObservations #AwkwardTension #BehavioralTendencies #Beliefs #BenignSituations #ComplainingTechnique #ElicitationPractice #EllenNaylor #IndirectQuestions #NaïvetéTechnique #SilencePractice #PuttingYourQuestionsIntoContext #RussellNewton #NewtonMG #PatrickKing #PatrickKingConsulting #SocialSkillsCoaching #HowtoExtractInfo #Secrets #andTruth/home/russell/temp/questions/questions-brown-and-black-wooden-blocks-10412820-Sara.jpg

Hear it Here - adbl.co/3To6NDu00:01:27 In 2019, Matthew Berry and Steven Brown did research on the vocal tones 00:06:14 Jo Emerson is a confidence coach 00:07:10 Watch Your Body Language 00:08:33 Maintain Comfortable Eye Contact 00:09:26 Dress the Part 00:10:38 Develop Your Personal Sense of Poise • Assertiveness is something you can fake till you make! Be mindful of your body language (stand tall and take up space), maintain comfortable eye contact, fine-tune your personal sense of style (whatever that is), and practice the habits of a poised, composed person (such as gracefully accepting compliments).#EyeContact #GenuineConfidence #JoEmerson #MatthewBerry #KarenPine #StevenBrown #BeingAssertive—OrAtLeastHowToFakeItTillYouMakeIt #RussellNewton #NewtonMG #PatrickKing #PatrickKingConsulting #SocialSkillsCoaching #StandUpForYourselfPhoto by Vlada-Karpovich and Pexels

Hear it Here - https://adbl.co/3shIydQ00:03:35 Psychologist Dr. Ann Vertel uses reflective listening in her practice00:04:35 How to Master Reflective Listening 00:13:48 Psychologizing—A Peculiar Kind of Invalidation • When we listen empathically and reflect, we go quiet and still within ourselves so we can receive as accurate a picture of the other person’s account as possible. We use mirroring and paraphrasing without questioning, leading, or starting a new thread. • We can reflect either content, feeling, or meaning, but should always remain non-directional and non-judgmental.#Empathic #EmpathicListeners #Invalidation #Jung #DrAnnVertel #Psychologizing #Reflecting #BeStillAndReflect #RussellNewton #NewtonMG #PatrickKing #PatrickKingConsulting #SocialSkillsCoaching #TrainYourEmpathyPhoto courtesy of George Becker and Pexels.

Hear it Here - https://bit.ly/3GAwNag00:03:29 “But I thought you meant X!”00:07:00 Preconceived Attitudes.00:12:34 Judgment and Premature Evaluation.00:15:11 Other Bad Communication Habits to Avoid.00:17:12 Constantly Interrupting.00:19:10 Using Qualifiers.00:20:22 Equating Your Experiences.00:20:27 “I know exactly how you feel!"00:22:24 Waiting Instead of Listening.00:23:14 Fluff and Filler Words.Barriers to good conversation include assumptions, strong negative emotions like anger and aggression (which inspire defensiveness), preconceived ideas and prejudice, fear, inflexibility and a need to control, premature evaluation and judgment, and other negative conversational habits like interrupting or one-upping. #AmazingCommunicationSkills #BadCommunicationHabits #BadConversationalist #BadHabit #CommonHabitualConversationalTraps #Communication #CommunicationBreakdown #CommunicationHabits #CommunicationSkills #ConversationalNarcissism #ConversationFlow #DistortCommunication #EffectiveCommunication #FillerWords #Floundering #Fluff #GoodCommunicator #HumanInteraction #ManipulativeCommunicationStyle #PrematureEvaluation #PsychologicalBarrier #PsychologicalBarriersToCommunication #RussellNewton #NewtonMG #PatrickKing #PatrickKingConsulting #SocialSkillsCoachingPhoto courest of PICHA and Pexels

Hear it Here - https://www.audible.com/pd/B094NZS81Q/?source_code=AUDFPWS0223189MWU-BK-ACX0-258377&ref=acx_bty_BK_ACX0_258377_pd_usAsking questions is an active way to deliberately elicit information from a person, but they need to be targeted and not too obvious. A few seemingly casual hypothetical questions can reveal a person’s deeper values, perspectives, and goals, for example asking what their favorite movie is, what they would save from a fire, or what animal they see themselves as.#Answer #Answering #DustinWood #Questions #Rorschach #AskedAndAnalyzed #RussellNewton #NewtonMG #PatrickKing #PatrickKingConsulting #SocialSkillsCoachingPhoto Courtesy of Leeloo-Thefirst and Pexels

Hear it Here - adbl.co/3To6NDu• Everyone has a right to have boundaries. Try to reframe how you think of boundaries—they are there to protect and prioritize what’s important, and not shut someone out or offend them. Trust your own feelings and judgments instead of avoiding them.• State your boundary and don’t overexplain or ask permission. Then, if a boundary is violated, follow up with appropriate action. A big part of healthy boundaries is respecting other people’s boundaries, too.Show notes and/or episode transcripts are available at https://bit.ly/social-skills-shownotesLearn more or get a free mini-book on conversation tactics at https://bit.ly/pkconsulting#Acquiescing #Assert #Boundary #Boundarysetting #Communicate #Peoplepleasers #Peoplepleasing #EveryoneNeedsBoundaries...IncludingYou! #RussellNewton #NewtonMG #PatrickKing #PatrickKingConsulting #SocialSkillsCoaching

• The best mindset to adopt in order to become a better communicator is the one that will best allow you to connect, meet your needs, solve problems, and express yourself. • Begin by asking yourself what your default communication style is: aggressive, passive-aggressive, or manipulative. None of these styles actually achieves the ultimate goal of communication, however. • The way you communicate is a choice. Assertive communication is the ability to express needs, wants, thoughts, and feelings directly without disrespecting or controlling others. Mature conversationalists are self-controlled, balanced, relaxed, open, and respectful.• Communicating well is simple and easy, but we need to remove the formidable psychological barriers that stand in the way. With awareness, we can remove them and improve our communication skills.#AggressiveCommunicator #Assertive #AssertiveCommunicator #Communication #CommunicationStyle #Communicator #Manipulation #Manipulative #ManipulativeCommunicator #Nonverbally #Passive #Passiveaggressive #PassiveAggressiveCommunicator #PassiveCommunicator #TheBasicsAreNotSoBasic #RussellNewton #NewtonMG #PatrickKing #PatrickKingConsulting #SocialSkillsCoaching

• Body language signals cannot be interpreted in isolation. Rather, first seek a baseline of behavior to help interpret a particular new observation – a baseline helps you identify incongruent behavior and spot a deception. • Look for mirroring, pay attention to overall energy, and remember that body language is dynamic, so you need to gather as much data as possible. Then consider this data in context of history and the current environment. • The voice is a part of the human body and speed, timbre, volume, pitch, and degree of control can signify emotional state. The body is a whole, with verbal and nonverbal mingling together. • Reading “message clusters” helps us organize isolated observations, and note whether they are aggressive, romantic, assertive, deceptive ad so on, in aggregate. #Aggression #Assertive #Clusters #Context #Deceit #Deceptive #DondersInstitute #HumanBody #Nonverbal #PaulEkman #PNAS #Pouw #Submissive #TheHumanBodyIsAWhole—ReadItThatWay #RussellNewton #NewtonMG #PatrickKing #PatrickKingConsulting #SocialSkillsCoaching

• Use mirroring, paraphrasing, or reflecting to show active listening. • Body language can be empathic too, and when your body mirrors another person’s, this is a way to show physical “active listening” of the body.• To show that your body is listening, face the person, make comfortable eye contact, and seek to concur with “yeses” or head nods. Then mirror their words, voice, posture, or other idiosyncrasies. • When mirroring, be mindful of the gender or cultural context, and only reflect what is positive. Avoid mirroring strong negative emotions (panic, anger, depression) and instead model a sense of calm by slowing down and taking a deep breath; the other person may then mirror you. Show notes and/or episode transcripts are available at https://bit.ly/social-skills-shownotesLearn more or get a free mini-book on conversation tactics at https://bit.ly/pkconsulting#DrKerstinUväsMoberg #Empathy #Gueguen #Heres #Listening #VanBaaren #TheBodyCanListen #Too #RussellNewton #NewtonMG #PatrickKing #PatrickKingConsulting #SocialSkillsCoaching #Mirroring #Paraphrasing #ActiveListening

One of the most useful tools in the people-pleaser’s survival kit is the ability to say NO. There are at least six different kinds of no to learn and practice: the direct no, the reasoned no, the reflecting no, the rain check no, the enquiring no, and the broken record no. Each can be used in different circumstances, according to the boundary you need to set. Whichever form you use, you’ll need to challenge your assumptions and beliefs about saying no and communicate clearly and confidently.Show notes and/or episode transcripts are available at https://bit.ly/social-skills-shownotesLearn more or get a free mini-book on conversation tactics at https://bit.ly/pkconsulting#Assertiveness #EmotionalAppeal #EmotionalResponse #HealthyRelationship #PoliteRefusal #TrevorPowell #SixDifferentWaysToSayNO #RussellNewton #NewtonMG #PatrickKing #PatrickKingConsulting #SocialSkillsCoaching

• Ex-FBI agent Joe Navarro has some tips for reading body language, and they come from an understanding that body language is inbuilt, automatic and ancient, and based on fight, flight or freeze response in humans. For examples, “pacifying behaviors” like covering the neck can indicate the person is trying to manage stress.• Note how the body is occupying space, and whether it is generally closed or open. Posture and gesture can tell you about whether a person is assertive, aggressive, uncertain or fearful. Bodies expand when they are comfortable, happy, or dominant. They contract when unhappy, fearful, or threatened.#ArmsAkimbo #AutomaticResponses #BasicGestures #BouncyLegs #FacialExpressions #JoeNavarro #Navarro #NegativeEmotions #NervousTension #NonverbalCommunication #NonverbalSignals #Pacifying #PeopleSkills #PrefrontalCortex #Ventilating #BodyTalk #RussellNewton #NewtonMG #PatrickKing #PatrickKingConsulting #SocialSkillsCoaching #ImproveYourPeopleSkills

• To listen effectively and empathically, we need to let our egos take a back seat so the other person can lead. If we are sensitive, alert, and respectful, we can listen without an agenda. • Listen with maximum attention without getting distracted by anything other than the perspective being shared with you in that very moment. • Seek to understand, not to judge, appraise, or evaluate—in fact, your opinion is irrelevant! Only your presence and awareness are necessary. Have radical acceptance for what is simply because it is. • Maintain deep curiosity. Ask questions that create space in which the other person can expand. This sends the message, “You are important. How you are feeling has value. I am listening because what you are going through is worthy of attention and worth knowing more about.”Show notes and/or episode transcripts are available at https://bit.ly/social-skills-shownotesLearn more or get a free mini-book on conversation tactics at https://bit.ly/pkconsulting#CarlRogers #Mindful #Mirroring #Paraphrasing #RadicalAcceptanceFirst #Realizing #Reflecting #Don’TJustListenActively #ListenEmpathically #RussellNewton #NewtonMG #PatrickKing #PatrickKingConsulting #SocialSkillsCoaching

• People-pleasers can be conflict avoidant, but this is actually a high-risk strategy, and you may gather resentments only to explode later (“gunnysacking”). Instead, use “and” instead of “but” in conversations, or try the “Five Whys” technique to get to the heart of what you’re really avoiding.Show notes and/or episode transcripts are available at https://bit.ly/social-skills-shownotesLearn more or get a free mini-book on conversation tactics at https://bit.ly/pkconsulting#Conflict #Gunnysacking #Peoplepleasers #Peoplepleasing #PeopleSkills #Reparenting #ConflictAvoidanceIsActuallyAHigh-RiskStrategy #RussellNewton #NewtonMG #PatrickKing #PatrickKingConsulting #SocialSkillsCoaching

• It’s possible to extract loads of useful information from people merely by using the power of observation. • First, observe the face, tiny, quick and involuntary movements of the face can “leak” a person’s true emotions – there are six universal ones: anger, fear, surprise, disgust, happiness. Look for microexpressions that contradict what is said verbally. #Ekman #Macroexpressions #Microexpressions #Observing #PaulEkman #LookAtMyFace #RussellNewton #NewtonMG #PatrickKing #PatrickKingConsulting #SocialSkillsCoaching #HowtoExtractInfo #Secrets #andTruth

• Your perspective on life is what makes you unique, but it can also be a source of isolation, misunderstanding, and conflict. • A pre-conceived notion about who another person is may be the single biggest obstacle on the path to genuine empathy for them. Getting rid of bias is about more than guarding against sexism or racism and more about consciously choosing to remember that all people are united in their shared humanity. • Prejudice is pre-judging what another’s experience is and what it means. Stereotypes and categories undermine authentic connections with others. Bias is a filter through which all the information we receive about that person is distorted. Being empathic is not just about being kind. It’s about clear, accurate perception and genuine comprehension of another worldview.• To tackle your own prejudice, first acknowledge that you do have it! Consciously choose to expose yourself to the unfamiliar and challenge yourself to empathize not just with similarity but with difference. Assume there is always a common ground between you and another individual and actively choose to focus on that instead of what is different. • Forget the Golden Rule and remember that the very meaning of compassion, kindness, and empathy changes depending on the recipient. Show people compassion, but on their terms, not yours. • In interactions, try to explore: what the other person thinks about themselves, what the other person thinks about you, what you think about them, and what you think about yourself. This can be especially helpful during a conflict.Show notes and/or episode transcripts are available at https://bit.ly/social-skills-shownotesLearn more or get a free mini-book on conversation tactics at https://bit.ly/pkconsulting#GoldenRule #PeopleSkills #Prejudice #Stereotype #Stereotypes #AccountingForBias #Prejudice #Ego #AndPerspective #RussellNewton #NewtonMG #PatrickKing #PatrickKingConsulting #SocialSkillsCoaching #ImproveYourPeopleSkills

In the face of trauma and conflict, some people respond with anger, some respond by fleeing . . . and some, like Person A, respond with a flood of appeasing, soothing, and conciliatory behavior. “Fight or flight” is an option for some people, but for those with a history of trauma, another option when faced with threat is to go into fawning mode and try to make it all better.Picture an animal defensively rolling onto its back, trying to appear as meek and agreeable as possible so that it’s spared by a powerful predator. Fawning is an attempt to fly under the radar rather than engage in conflict. It’s a way of deflecting attention.In a crisis or disagreement, is your first instinct to soothe, calm, or please others?Do you do anything to avoid conflict—even if that means ignoring your own needs?In a stressful interaction, is your focus on other people’s emotions?Fawning behavior is actually a kind of trauma response. This behavior, in other words, is something you might have learned in childhood, where “rolling over” this way was the only thing that helped you survive conflict.Show notes and/or episode transcripts are available at https://bit.ly/social-skills-shownotesLearn more or get a free mini-book on conversation tactics at https://bit.ly/pkconsulting#Fawning #RussellNewton #NewtonMG #PatrickKing #PatrickKingConsulting #SocialSkillsCoaching #StandUpForYourself #Trauma #DefenseMechanism #Conflict

• To rewrite our negative thought patterns, We can't solve problems by using the same kind of thinking we used when we created them.”• We can use the ABCDE acronym (activating event, belief, consequence, disputation, and new event) and explore the stories we’re telling in a thought journal. We can decide whether a new alternative is a good one according to its accuracy, helpfulness, and congruence with our values. • Once you’ve identified your current thoughts, ask if there’s a different way to think about things, and how you can bring that idea to life with concrete action. Seek out evidence for a new belief, practice self-compassion, and go into learning mode, asking questions instead of making statements. • Negativity can be relieved by shifting perspectives and creating psychological distance. Remember that pessimism, negativity, and gloomy nihilism are all coping mechanisms and once served a purpose. But right now, we can choose to cope with adversity in different, healthier ways (and there always will be adversity!) • Create spatial, temporal, and psychological distance from distressing thoughts, ask what others might do in our situation (role-switching), and turn your mind to concrete action instead of asking why. Focus on a small, concrete detail in the present and ask what you can do. Avoid identifying problems without seeking solutions—i.e., complaining! • When we are stuck in intense emotions, we can try the ACT technique of defusion. Imagine that your Mind is something separate from you and that you can watch it. • Remember that you are not your thoughts; you are just having thoughts. Make your thoughts earn their keep! #ABCDE #ACT #Negativity #StopNegativeThinking #AnalyzeThyself:TheABCMethodAndThoughtJournals #RussellNewton #NewtonMG #ThoughtJournals #ABCMethod

• Reading literature may actually make you a more empathic human being. It can reduce bias and prejudice and literally change your brain physiology. The key is in the ability to switch perspectives.• Choose literary fiction, preferably written in first person. Try authors who are different from yourself, or books about characters that are unlike yourself.• Read actively and engage with the story. Pause to ask questions to investigate the character’s point of view, switching perspectives and exploring motivations and desires. Ask yourself, “What does the human experience feel like for this specific human? Why?” Instead of asking how you would feel in their shoes, ask how they feel in their shoes. However, be discerning about what kind of perspectives you delve into!• Another way to build empathy is to create “emotional literacy.” Emotional literacy is the ability to identify and verbalize complex emotions. It is an act of self-awareness. With greater emotional identification and awareness comes more clarity, insight, and mastery—and better empathy. • The emotion wheel is a helpful tool that helps you develop increased self-awareness, empathic mastery, and precision when it comes to emotions. It outlines shades and nuances of the eight primary emotions: sadness, anger, disgust, joy, trust, fear, surprise, and anticipation.• We can use the emotion wheel both to identify and explore our own emotions and to identify and empathize with the emotions of others. To empathize with others’ emotions, pause to become aware, notice their body language, then identify a primary emotion on the emotion wheel. Keep asking questions, making observations, or offering emotion labels to home in on exactly what they’re feeling. Show notes and/or episode transcripts are available at https://bit.ly/social-skills-shownotesLearn more or get a free mini-book on conversation tactics at https://bit.ly/pkconsulting#HowToDiscoverAndFlexYourEmpathyMuscles #RussellNewton #NewtonMG #PatrickKing #PatrickKingConsulting #SocialSkillsCoaching #ImproveYourPeopleSkills

• Over-giving stemming from fear of rejection is not genuine generosity. Break the cycle by changing the core belief: “I cannot survive rejection.” Instead, court rejection deliberately and teach yourself that it doesn’t define you. Challenge your narratives with self-compassion, and focus on process, not outcome.Show notes and/or episode transcripts are available at https://bit.ly/social-skills-shownotesLearn more or get a free mini-book on conversation tactics at https://bit.ly/pkconsulting#AreYouGenerous?OrJustAfraidOfRejection? #RussellNewton #NewtonMG #PatrickKing #PatrickKingConsulting #SocialSkillsCoaching #ImproveYourPeopleSkills

• How you think creates your life; negativity poisons everything in your world. • Changing negativity requires a degree of metacognition (thinking about thinking) and a leap of faith to do something that hasn’t been done before. Anyone can change their thought patterns; it requires only honest awareness and a willingness to take conscious and inspired action.• Our mental shortcuts, assumptions, biases, and stereotypes are great at saving time and effort, but are not one hundred percent accurate one hundred percent of the time. The “all-or-nothing” disease is when we overextrapolate from one experience to other experiences we haven’t had; we are making an error.• Words have power, and our speech reflects our thought patterns. “Out of power” language is passive, self-victimizing, doubtful, angry, unconfident, fearful, excuse-making, or pessimistic, and can create a self-fulfilling prophesy. • Become aware of your internal verbal habits. Then focus on what can be done, embrace nuance and shades of gray, and speak to yourself like you would a loved one. • A cognitive distortion is a persistently incorrect belief, perception, or thought—for example, mental filtering, personalization, jumping to conclusions, mind-reading, catastrophizing, and using “should” statements and labels. • Positive thinking is not just the absence of distortions, but thinking that helps you feel calm, hopeful, curious, grateful, stable, and confident.• To challenge your inner critic, commit to not allowing your thoughts to dominate you. Gain psychological distance by labeling the thoughts as thoughts, not reality, and have self-compassion. • Change happens outside your comfort zone, so realize that at some point, you’ll need to take the leap and try something new.#InternalDialogue #Self-Talk #NickTrenton #RussellNewton #NewtonMG #StopNegativeThinking

• Empathy is about the ability to take another person’s perspective. It is similar to “theory of mind,” which is the human capacity to understand another person’s state of mind and comprehend that it is totally different from our own. Empathy is not only theory of mind but “theory of heart”—to feel other people’s emotions—and it’s hardwired into our brains and bodies.• Empathy is not about any particular situation, but about a unique individual’s perspective on that situation.• Though it is an innate human ability, it is in decline. We need to consciously cultivate and develop empathy. • There are three kinds of empathy: Cognitive empathy is empathy based on knowing or understanding what someone else is going through, on an intellectual level.• Emotional empathy is the ability to actually share and take some part in the emotional experience of another person.• With compassionate empathy, we put our feelings of understanding and sympathy to good use. We try to resolve problems, remove burdens, or inspire insights that will help progress the situation.• In an empathic interaction, move from cognitive to emotional to compassionate empathy. • Sympathy is like seeing someone is in a hole, but standing on the outside looking in with concern. Empathy is like getting down into the hole and relating to the person side by side, with them. • Too little empathy is a problem, but so is too much. Becoming overwhelmed in another person’s world means we lose perspective—as well as the ability to be of any practical help to them. Show notes and/or episode transcripts are available at https://bit.ly/social-skills-shownotesLearn more or get a free mini-book on conversation tactics at https://bit.ly/pkconsulting#CompassionateEmpathy #Empathy #Sympathy #UnderstandingEmpathyAndWhyWeNeedIt #RussellNewton #NewtonMG #PatrickKing #PatrickKingConsulting #SocialSkillsCoaching

• People-pleasing is a complex learned behavior, but it can be understood and changed. One of the most common underlying causes is the need to be liked.• We can counter this mindset by remembering we are like inkblots (i.e., what people see is about them, not about you) and understanding that your worth does not come from other people’s approval.• When you untangle yourself from other people’s opinions and judgments, you free yourself to ask what YOU want, what you care about, and what you value. The “separation of tasks” exercise helps you to tease apart your responsibilities from other peoples’—their feelings are not your business.Show notes and/or episode transcripts are available at https://bit.ly/social-skills-shownotesLearn more or get a free mini-book on conversation tactics at https://bit.ly/pkconsulting#SerenityPrayer #PeoplePleaser #RogerCovin #TheNeedToBeLiked #RussellNewton #NewtonMG #PatrickKing #PatrickKingConsulting #SocialSkillsCoaching #StandUpForYourself

• To this end, we come to the concept of active listening. It’s a way to participate in conversations while being on the receiving end. Most might think that receiving simply means sitting quietly, but that’s a huge mistake. There are nine types of active listening responses we cover, to be used when trying to connect deeply with someone: comprehending, retaining, responding, restating, reflecting, summarizing, labeling emotions, probing with leading questions, and silence.• Oversharing may seem like something to avoid, but there is plenty of research to suggest that honestly opening up to others actually makes them like and trust us more. You’ll distinguish yourself from the automatic stereotypes by giving specific details about yourself, and make your life seem more interesting and compelling.• We can divulge both by revealing additional information or by confessing to how we feel, sharing a story or revealing something unexpected about ourselves. People bond over emotional identification, so don’t worry about appearing weak or vulnerable—divulging will actually encourage others to do the same and foster good rapport.• When we engage with others, a golden rule of engagement is to focus on finding similarity and creating a sense of a shared experience and familiarity.Show notes and/or episode transcripts are available at https://bit.ly/social-skills-shownotesLearn more or get a free mini-book on conversation tactics at https://bit.ly/pkconsulting#AutomaticStereotypes #EmotionalIdentification #GoodRapport #Oversharing #NineTypesOfActiveListeningResponses #RussellNewton #NewtonMG #PatrickKing #PatrickKingConsulting #SocialSkillsCoaching #ImproveYourPeopleSkills

• One quick technique is misdirection, where a statement has two parts: the first is expected and ordinary, the second contradicts it with unexpected and comedic results. Sarcasm can be powerful but is best when directed at yourself and used with those you are more familiar with. Ironic humor is similar to sarcasm, but more focused on the observation of the contrast between the expected and the actual.• The world of improv has a lot to teach us about good conversational chemistry. One improv rule is not to hold on to any outcome too tightly, and be ready to follow the emerging flow of the conversation.• Another rule is to rely on quick connections to make sure you always have something to say. This can be practiced by free associating one, two, or five words. Good improv is about having faith in the conversation’s direction, and your ability to be okay with where it goes.• The 1:1:1 method of storytelling is a mini story technique that relies on one action, summarized in one sentence, that evokes one main emotion in the listener. This keeps your stories engaging, short, and effective. Alternatively, you can ask for other people’s stories.• Conversational diversity is about having as many different tools in your toolkit as possible. Hypothetical questions are one such tool. These kinds of “what if . . .?” questions inject some excitement, creativity, and unpredictability, while showing something interesting about the person giving the answer.• Finally, thinking out loud can be a way to turn monologues into dialogues. If we speak freely and without self-censoring, we break the ice, share ourselves honestly, and invite (rather than demand) others to join us.Show notes and/or episode transcripts are available at https://bit.ly/social-skills-shownotesLearn more or get a free mini-book on conversation tactics at https://bit.ly/pkconsulting#Conversations #Ironic #Sarcasm #SubtlyCharismatic:HumorAndMisdirection #RussellNewton #NewtonMG #PatrickKing #PatrickKingConsulting #SocialSkillsCoaching #ImproveYourPeopleSkills

• Being charming is about developing social awareness and conversational intelligence. Much of this depends on empathy, and being able to step outside your own reality bubble and honestly see your own blind spots in conversations.• Try not to ever assume that other people think, feel or believe as you do, or that their conversation experience is the same as yours. “Double click” on what they share with you and be genuinely curious and open minded, rather than making assumptions and guesses.• Contrary to the conventional advice about small talk, you can build rapport with relative strangers by consciously choosing to go deep with them – and such conversations can be less awkward than you imagine. Just don’t complain or pressure people to respond in a particular way.• Show people that you’re paying attention and understand them by using the principles of cold reading. Invite their participation, use high-probability generalized statements, downplay incorrect guesses, and collect observations to show people that you really get them.• Generally, people tend to hide the fact that they want a conversation to end, and most people wish conversations ended sooner. Play it safe by quitting while you’re ahead. Gracefully disengage by waiting for a gap, starting with a positive, making an excuse, and leaving with warmth but also firmness.Show notes and/or episode transcripts are available at https://bit.ly/social-skills-shownotesLearn more or get a free mini-book on conversation tactics at https://bit.ly/pkconsulting#BlindSpots #ConversationalIntelligence #SocialAwareness #BoostYourCQ(ConversationalIntelligence) #RussellNewton #NewtonMG #PatrickKing #PatrickKingConsulting #SocialSkillsCoaching #ImproveYourPeopleSkills

• In order to interact and engage more fully in conversations, we need to work against our not-so-useful habits and learn better ones.• A non-negotiable habit is becoming a master at using questions. The right questions help people feel closer to us, communicate our attention and care, share our competence, show that we’re aware and paying attention, deepen intimacy, guide the conversation, and make us more trustworthy.• All exchanges, and hence all questions, are typically on one of three possible levels: those exchanging factual information, those exchanging feelings and emotions, and those communicating deeper values. In social situations, you’ll lean more heavily on the last two, but a good conversation works when people have similar conversational goals and are matched in the level they’re interacting on.• Conversational narcissism is an impediment to curiosity, engagement, and good question asking. Whether unconscious or conscious, this usually results from us placing something other than connection with the other person as our goal for conversation, i.e. to brag, to defend, to compete.• We can reduce our own conversational narcissism by using questions. Follow-up questions are very effective, as are open-ended questions that don’t make people uncomfortable, but may gently push on the barrier or normal etiquette.• Just as a role model can be a guide and inspiration for your own behavior, a model can also help you stay curious when you talk to others. Talk show hosts are experts and placing their conversation partners front and center, so we can ask, what would they do? Usually, the answer is “treat my guest like the most interesting person in the whole universe.”• Curiosity needs to be genuine. We all have a bias against others sometimes, assuming they’re not very interesting, but unless we ask, we won’t learn about their more fascinating sides. Assume that everyone has something to teach you, and foster genuine inquisitiveness. into the details of their world. I guarantee you will not be disappointed.Show notes and/or episode transcripts are available at https://bit.ly/social-skills-shownotesLearn more or get a free mini-book on conversation tactics at https://bit.ly/pkconsulting#ConversationalNarcissism #GoodConversation #Questions–AnUnderratedSuperpower #RussellNewton #NewtonMG #PatrickKing #PatrickKingConsulting #SocialSkillsCoaching #ImproveYourPeopleSkills

• Arguments are sometimes inevitable but we can argue best if we use “steel manning” rather than attacking a strawman. Create the best version of your opponent’s argument by breaking it down, then help them build that argument, actively arguing on your counterpart’s behalf. You will more quickly reach harmonious agreement, or at least disagree more civilly. • Use the fogging technique to manage people who are aggressive or unreasonable. By giving people a minimal, calm response that they cannot easily engage with, you defuse tension. Listen carefully for a kernel of truth, repeat the truth calmly and neutrally, but don’t add any new information and keep maintaining calm. • The Ransberger pivot is a way to “win an argument without arguing.” Listen carefully to start, look for points of commonality, and keep returning to any ways in which you and the other person are actually on the same page. • The “feel, felt, found” technique is another a simple way to mitigate conflict. Acknowledge how they feel, point to another person who has felt similarly in the past, then show what you have found works based on how this person managed the issue. • Finally, the agreement frame allows us to gracefully disagree with someone without destroying rapport. Use terms like I respect, I appreciate and I agree to signal an intention to cooperate. Agree, acknowledge their position, and acknowledge both your desired outcomes, using “and” rather than “but.” Hear it Here - https://bit.ly/readpeoplekingShow notes and/or episode transcripts are available at https://bit.ly/social-skills-shownotesLearn more or get a free mini-book on conversation tactics at https://bit.ly/pkconsulting#DefuseTension #Harmonious #MitigateConflict #Ransberger #DealingWithConflictAndDisagreement #RussellNewton #NewtonMG #PatrickKing #PatrickKingConsulting #SocialSkillsCoaching #ImproveYourPeopleSkills

• What you don’t say is also important. When you speak, remember to include pauses in the right places to convey confidence or emphasis. Give your listeners time to digest what you’ve said.• Use the Pareto principle, or the 80-20 rule, and try to make 80% of the conversation about the other person and 20% about yourself. Listen, ask questions, and pay attention rather than forcing a particular topic, being fake, trying to impress or interrupting.• Be aware of microexpressions (tiny, ultra-rapid facial expressions), especially those that don’t seem to match what is being said. Microexpressions tell the “truth” about someone’s feelings, so observing them can give you empathy and insight into how they really feel.• People feel like they “click” more often when responses are swift, so pay attention and keep things flowing and responsive. That said, it’s better to end a flagging conversation than panic too much when it goes quiet.• If you find yourself inching towards conflict, pause and ask whether the other person is speaking from a position of cognitive dissonance and, if they are, back away and try to re-establish rapport, since pushing will only invite more resistance. And, of course, be on guard against the tendency to hold incompatible or irrational views yourself!Show notes and/or episode transcripts are available at https://bit.ly/social-skills-shownotesLearn more or get a free mini-book on conversation tactics at https://bit.ly/pkconsulting#CognitiveDissonance #Microexpressions #Pareto #ThePowerOfShuttingUp #RussellNewton #NewtonMG #PatrickKing #PatrickKingConsulting #SocialSkillsCoaching #ImproveYourPeopleSkills

• Part 1 of this book is all about the charismatic presence. How might you wish for someone to describe you, and how much does that differ from reality? And then, how do you bridge the gap between these two versions of yourself? Part 1 is more theoretical and introspective, while Part 2 is all about action. How do you actually create the type of interactions that will draw people to you, regardless of your current personality?• Unsurprisingly, it all starts with empathy. When you have empathy, you know what other people are thinking and feeling, or at least you can make a pretty darned good guess about it. And if we know what people are thinking and feeling, we can also make a darned good guess as to what they want. And that’s what will allow us to create charismatic interactions.• The first is to simply read more. This is probably the best practice you can do without having someone in front of you, because it forces you to inhabit someone else’s perspective and inner dialogue. You can see in the story that because X happened, Y and Z might happen. This seems simple, but it is not easy to practice in daily life. Having an experience filter is very similar, in that it forces you to step out of your perspective (which is necessarily limited) and really try to see someone else’s. It might sound like we are only talking about empathy here, but the truth is that empathy and charisma are extremely, extremely related. Yes, deliberately practicing theory of mind is also more in the same direction of understanding another person’s thoughts and emotions.• Finally, understanding the difference between facts and interpretation will help you know what you should respond to. Almost always, you should be trying to respond to people’s interpretation because their emotions are buried within, and that’s what will draw people to you.Show notes and/or episode transcripts are available at https://bit.ly/social-skills-shownotesLearn more or get a free mini-book on conversation tactics at https://bit.ly/pkconsulting#CharismaticInteractions #CharismaticPresence #Empathy #TheBedrockOfGoodCommunication #RussellNewton #NewtonMG #PatrickKing #PatrickKingConsulting #SocialSkillsCoaching #ImproveYourPeopleSkills

• There are many ways to assert your own boundaries and limits without encroaching on others’. Try the stuck record technique (calmly repeating your limit without budging), the “positive no” (reiterate what you are saying yes to) negative assertion or negative enquiry (accepting and enquiring about criticism). • The DESC model can help you stand up for yourself. Describe the facts of the situation, Express how you are being affected, suggest a specific Solution, then finish with a Conclusion/consequences, i.e. what will happen if the behavior is changed and what will happen if it isn’t. • Humor is useful, but it needs to be the right kind. Positive humor styles (especially affiliative humor) are better for relationships. Avoid self-enhancing, aggressive or self-defeating humor styles. • Use the platinum rule: Do unto others as they would want done to them. Listen, be empathetic and stay curious about other people’s perspectives, even and especially if they differ from yours. Ask what they want and need, and how they conceptualize of you, themselves, and the situation. • A good apology needs a few necessary elements: expression of regret, explanation of what went wrong, taking responsibility, repentance, offer for reparations, and a request for forgiveness. Hear it Here - https://bit.ly/readpeoplekingShow notes and/or episode transcripts are available at https://bit.ly/social-skills-shownotesLearn more or get a free mini-book on conversation tactics at https://bit.ly/pkconsulting#AssertiveCommunication #AssertivenessSkill #ConorFriedershof #Communication #DaveKerpen #DESCModel #EverydayConversations #FoggingTechnique #GordonBower #JenniferAaker #Kerpen #Lewicki #ManuelJSmith #NaomiBagdonas #NonverbalCommunication #PersonalRelationships #PlatinumRule #StuckRecordTechnique #UnderstandingBasicAssertivenessTechniques #RussellNewton #NewtonMG #PatrickKing #PatrickKingConsulting #SocialSkillsCoaching #ImproveYourPeopleSkills

• Your voice is a powerful nonverbal communicator. Be aware of your pitch, volume, articulation and pace, and practice to ensure you’re having the effect you want.• Neuroscientist Antonio Damasio found that people make decisions not from logic but from emotion – which is what you should speak to when trying to connect meaningfully with others.• You can use open loops to create conversations that feel rich, full, and “complete.” Simply start a story and don’t finish it, so you can return later if the conversation stalls.• When speaking, you will be more engaging and captivating if your language is fresh, novel and vivid. Use metaphors to explain complex topics in simple, relatable ways. To connect to people emotionally, use compelling language and colorful imagery, and allow your enthusiasm to shine through.• Change the focus of the conversation from yourself to the other person. The goal is to connect and flow, not to compete or perform. Using the words “yes, and” borrowed from improv comedy, you keep things open-ended and dynamic. Be ready to abandon any fixed ideas of the conversation’s goal and follow what is emerging in the moment – your conversation will feel more natural, more joyful, and more connected.Show notes and/or episode transcripts are available at https://bit.ly/social-skills-shownotesLearn more or get a free mini-book on conversation tactics at https://bit.ly/pkconsulting#Conversation #AntonioDamasio #SocialInteractions #SuccessfulConversations #WatchWhatYouSay… #RussellNewton #NewtonMG #PatrickKing #PatrickKingConsulting #SocialSkillsCoaching #ImproveYourPeopleSkills

• We can condense the four theories of charisma into 5 distinct charismatic traits: likeability and warmth; power and influence; emotional intelligence; presence, awareness and self-control; and social intelligence and leadership. If we can consistently hit these five notes in our social interactions, we cannot help but boost our “charisma quotient.”• To be impactful, charisma has to be genuine to us. We need to take responsibility for honestly appraising our skills and taking concrete action to improve in real life. Whether we are extroverted or introverted, there is a unique charisma style that will work for us.• Real life celebrities and historical figures can serve as examples and inspiration. Both Will Smith and Marilyn Monroe show how you can tick all 5 charisma boxes, but in completely different ways.• Will Smith teaches us to be prepared, stay humble and work hard, and lead with positivity, humor, and good-naturedness. Though his social mask makes him appear easygoing and lighthearted, it conceals the effort, deliberation and hard work required to build the life and image you want.• Marilyn Monroe teaches us that charisma can also be about magnetically drawing people towards you, rather than being loud and over the top to demand attention. Marilyn shows us the power of appearance, and how to craft a performing person down to the finest detail. She also shows us indirectly that perfection is not required, and that if you can lean honestly into your own vulnerability and fragility, people may love you all the more for it.• You can design your own unique charisma formula by honestly rating how you perform in each of these five areas, and committing to taking action today to improve.Show notes and/or episode transcripts are available at https://bit.ly/social-skills-shownotesLearn more or get a free mini-book on conversation tactics at https://bit.ly/pkconsulting#Charisma #Charismatic #CharismaticTraits #EmotionalIntelligence #IdealPersona #IrresistiblePersona #Likeability #SocialIntelligence #5CharismaticTraits #RussellNewton #NewtonMG #PatrickKing #PatrickKingConsulting #SocialSkillsCoaching #ImproveYourPeopleSkills

• One useful conversational skill is chunking, where you vary the level of information you get coming back to you. This way, you can reach an agreement, acquire more and correct detail, or even persuade people to move from one plane of thought to another. Chunk up to gain a broader view everyone can agree on, and chunk down to find detail. Move from general to specific, keeping the other person’s reactions in mind. • Use clean language to discover, explore and work with people’s metaphors without “contaminating” them. Listen for metaphors used, ask questions about them and continue the conversation using the same language and imagery to show your understanding.• Use the HPM technique to always have something to say in conversations. Talk about history (a past experience) philosophy (your feelings on it) and a metaphor (describe both with a vivid metaphor). Keep is short, sweet and natural.• Use signposting and transitional words to tell your listeners where your story is going. Signal what is coming and link your ideas logically using words that guide your listener’s understanding. • Use conversational threading. Listen out for emotional hooks and pursue the conversation in that direction. Follow the most exciting or interesting leads and return to old, unexplored ones when conversation flags or ideas run out. Hear it Here - https://bit.ly/readpeoplekingShow notes and/or episode transcripts are available at https://bit.ly/social-skills-shownotesLearn more or get a free mini-book on conversation tactics at https://bit.ly/pkconsulting#AwkwardConversations #CharlyBliss #Chunking #CleanQuestions #Conversation #DavidGrove #EffectiveConversationSkill #GeorgeAMiller #HPM #NonverbalExpression #NumberSevenPlus #SocialSkills #BetterConversationSkills #RussellNewton #NewtonMG #PatrickKing #PatrickKingConsulting #SocialSkillsCoaching #ImproveYourPeopleSkills

• Conversational charm is about connecting genuinely to others. First, get your ego out of the way by suspending judgment and forgetting about agreement or disagreement. Listen actively, pay full attention and avoid the temptation to connect everything they say to yourself!• Move slowly and sequentially through the three stages of rapport by making appropriate disclosures to signal trust and willingness to connect. Light disclosure can be an embarrassing tale. Medium disclosure shares your beliefs and deeper feelings. Finally, heavy disclosure is about your more serious vulnerabilities. Don’t be a closed book, but be selective about who you open up to.• Use connection stories to tell people about who you are – instead of dry facts, share anecdotes that sincerely convey your values as a person.• You can come across as more charismatic if you show you’re paying attention by labeling the other person’s experience or emotions. Use “it seems like” or “it sounds like” to paraphrase and demonstrate your empathic understanding.• Finally, don’t be boring! Boring traits are those that downplay fun. In conversations, be relaxed, playful, open and warm, and forego needing to be right or appear smart.Show notes and/or episode transcripts are available at https://bit.ly/social-skills-shownotesLearn more or get a free mini-book on conversation tactics at https://bit.ly/pkconsulting#AnnetteSimmons #Conversations #Dreeke #EffectiveConversations #HowardGardner #PositiveEmotion #Rapport #RobertCialdini #RobinDreeke #Tilburg #ToxicRelationship #ConnectingBeneathTheSurface #RussellNewton #NewtonMG #PatrickKing #PatrickKingConsulting #SocialSkillsCoaching #ImproveYourPeopleSkills

• Olivia Fox Cabane explains how there are four charisma types according to the proportion of power, presence and warmth. The focused charismatic (who pays deep attention to others), the visionary charismatic (who communicates their infectious passion), the kind charismatic (who inspires with warmth and compassion) and the authoritative charismatic (who leads others with expertise and power). • Depending on your goals, you can play up your natural charisma strengths or seek to balance out your weaknesses. • To be socially and emotionally comfortable, plan ahead and make sure you’re physically comfortable, which will remove barriers to charismatic connection. • Use ritual and visualization as a “social warm up.” Music, meditation, and affirmations can help you prepare. • Build presence with mindfulness. Slow down, breathe and anchor in the senses. Pause before you respond, and take conscious care of every detail of the interaction, including your verbal and nonverbal expression, appearance, and behavior. • Howard Friedman emphasized the affective, nonverbal expressiveness component of charisma. • Communicate with all your body and laugh openly. Speak with a dynamic, varied voice that changes in pitch, tone and expression. Use touch to bridge distance and create warmth, aware that the rules differ for men and women. • Speak less and emote more via facial expression. If you find yourself the center of attention, relax and don’t draw attention to awkwardness, using humor to defuse tension. Use exaggerated, pantomime-like gestures and initiate contact with strangers. Finally, practice the art of “platonic flirting.” • Introverts can be charismatic, but they must do so on their own terms.Show notes and/or episode transcripts are available at https://bit.ly/social-skills-shownotesLearn more or get a free mini-book on conversation tactics at https://bit.ly/pkconsulting#AbstractVisualization #ActiveVisualization #AffectiveCommunicationTest #AuthoritativeCharismatic #Cabane #Charisma #ContrastCharismatic #FoxCabane #Friedman #GretaThunberg #HowardFriedman #KindnessMeditation #MindfulAwareness #Mindfulness #MindfulnessPractice #OliviaFoxCabane #Riggio #BuildingReal-WorldCharisma #RussellNewton #NewtonMG #PatrickKing #PatrickKingConsulting #SocialSkillsCoaching #ImproveYourPeopleSkills

• Empathy is a nonnegotiable ingredient in genuine, connected interactions, and one easy way to create it is to give compliments. Make it authentic, meaningful to the person receiving it and specific, Avoid insincere exaggeration or vague niceties that don’t speak to a person’s values. • Learn to recognize “bids for attention” because when you “turn toward” these unspoken requests for connection and validation, you deepen and strengthen relationships of all kinds, and respond with empathy. Turning against or away from these requests does the opposite. • Practice the art of nonviolent communication by using four simple steps: first, observe without judgment or interpretation. Second, express how you feel without blame or making anyone responsible. Third, express your needs plainly and assertively, without implicating the other person. Finally, calmly express a specific request that stems from the previous three steps, without entitlement or force. This will make any difficult or emotional conversation infinitely easier.• Use language softeners. Softer language can help foster trust, empathy, and likeability in all social situations. Use modal verbs and qualifiers, focus on the positive, be mindful of your word choice and use a gentler, more respectful and unhurried style to communicate a friendly willingness to cooperate. Hear it Here - https://bit.ly/readpeoplekingShow notes and/or episode transcripts are available at https://bit.ly/social-skills-shownotesLearn more or get a free mini-book on conversation tactics at https://bit.ly/pkconsulting#CarrereGottman #ComplimentTips #DefuseConflict #Empathy #EverydayConversations #GenuineCompliments #Gottman #GottmanInstitute #HealthyRelationships #InsincereExaggeration #JulieGottman #LindsayLiben #MarshalRosenberg #ModalVerbs #NonviolentCommunication #NVC #PassiveAggression #RomanticRelationship #Rosenberg #LanguageSofteners #ThePowerOfEmpathy #RussellNewton #NewtonMG #PatrickKing #PatrickKingConsulting #SocialSkillsCoaching #ImproveYourPeopleSkills

• Most people fail to be charming in conversations because they misunderstand what it really means to be charming. But anyone can build their charisma by practicing a few concrete skills.• Firstly, use mirroring to signal connection and understanding. Whether it’s verbally, nonverbally, or even emotionally, mirroring can build rapport between you and the other person.• Use Albrecht’s “rule of three” to help you have more balanced conversations, i.e. ones where you do enough listening. What you say can either be a Declarative (facts or opinion being stated as facts), Questions, or Qualifiers (or "softeners"). The rule is not to have more than three declaratives in a row – instead, use a question or softener to keep things balanced.• Similarly, the ARE method is a helpful tool to help you nail small talk easily. It stands for Anchor, Reveal, and Encourage. First, identify a shared experience, then reveal something about yourself connected to that anchor, then finally encourage the other person to share, too.• With small talk topics, remember the acronym FORM: Family, Occupation, Recreation (hobbies and interests), and Motivation (goals).• You can avoid overly long-winded responses by remembering the 1 minute traffic light rule. The first 30 seconds or so is a green light to speak as you will, the next 30 seconds is an orange light – watch out for waning interest – and beyond a minute is a red light, where you will likely lose your listener’s attention. Keep it short!Show notes and/or episode transcripts are available at https://bit.ly/social-skills-shownotesLearn more or get a free mini-book on conversation tactics at https://bit.ly/pkconsulting#AuthenticConversations #ConversationFlow #DrCarolFleming #FacialExpression #GoodConversation #KarlAlbrecht #MartyNemko #NonverbalCommunication #WilliamJames #HowToNeverHaveABadInteraction #RussellNewton #NewtonMG #PatrickKing #PatrickKingConsulting #SocialSkillsCoaching #HowtoTalktoAnyone

• Charming people may seem to possess a mysterious quality nobody else does, but charisma is a knowable set of social and emotional behaviors that anyone can learn. • Charisma can be defined as a blend of likeability and influence. Charismatics have presence in a room, can impact and persuade others, can lead, but also know how to put people at ease, are warm, smile often, and get along with anyone. • Practice taking up more space in a room, and examine any core beliefs that may negatively impact your posture and expression. Believe deep down that other people are not a threat and that you have something worthwhile to communicate. • Speak openly about your passions, and when you address others, speak to their highest selves. Smile often and remember the details of what people tell you. • Don’t interrupt, judge, complain, gossip or express negativity. Instead, express gratitude and optimism. • Ronald Riggio broke charisma into 3 social and emotional functions: expressiveness, sensitivity to other people’s expressiveness, and self-control. • To be more charismatic, express yourself emotionally with colorful language and dynamic facial expressions. Pay attention to people’s nonverbal expression, but don’t be afraid to ask directly about how others feel. • To improve emotional control, slow down, breathe and become present, rather than reacting mindlessly. • Acting and improv can help you improve social skills, and the ability to consciously wear a social mask. Pay attention to how you’re physically presenting yourself and dress with care and deliberation. • Finally, learn to “people watch” and get into the habit of asking more questions instead of talking about yourself in conversations.Show notes and/or episode transcripts are available at https://bit.ly/social-skills-shownotesLearn more or get a free mini-book on conversation tactics at https://bit.ly/pkconsulting#Charisma #EmpathySkills #HenryRKravisProfessor #NaturalLeader #Riggio #RonaldERiggio #So #WhatIsCharismaAnyway? #RussellNewton #NewtonMG #PatrickKing #PatrickKingConsulting #SocialSkillsCoaching #MassiveCharisma

• No matter who you are, it’s always possible to improve your people skills and become a more charming and more likable conversationalist. • Start by building more social awareness. If eye contact is often awkward or uncomfortable, try the triangle technique: Draw an imaginary inverted triangle on the other person’s face around their eyes and mouth. During the conversation, change your gaze every five to ten seconds. • Be aware of proxemics as a nonverbal mode of communication. Intimate, social, personal or public space are used in different contexts and can signal intentions, with people regulating their social closeness by changing their physical proximity. • “Perceptual positions” can help you build empathy and switch perspectives. First position is seeing the world through our eyes, second position is seeing the world through someone else’s eyes, and third position is seeing the world through a neutral observer’s eyes. You can gain insight into a situation by adopting each position in turn. • To be a better and more active listener, paraphrase, clarify and summarize. Avoid judging, interpreting through your own perspective or interrupting, and simply listen. Hear it Here - https://bit.ly/readpeoplekingShow notes and/or episode transcripts are available at https://bit.ly/social-skills-shownotesLearn more or get a free mini-book on conversation tactics at https://bit.ly/pkconsulting#ActiveListener #ConversationalArts #EdwardHall #GoodListener #HarmoniousRelationships #JoeNavarro #KaraRonin #NLP #Paraphrasing #Proxemics #TriangleEyeContactTechnique #RussellNewton #NewtonMG #PatrickKing #PatrickKingConsulting #SocialSkillsCoaching #ImproveYourPeopleSkills

A lot of the art of body language is, once pointed out, rather intuitive. This is because each of us is actually already fluent in its interpretation. It is merely allowing ourselves to de-emphasize the verbal for a moment to take notice of the wealth of nonverbal information that’s always flowing between people. None of it is really concealed. Rather, it’s a question of opening up to data coming in on a channel we are not taught to pay attention to. Hear it Here - https://bit.ly/readpeoplekingShow notes and/or episode transcripts are available at https://bit.ly/social-skills-shownotesLearn more or get a free mini-book on conversation tactics at https://bit.ly/pkconsulting#ConversationPartner #NervousTension #TheArtOfBodyLanguage #RussellNewton #NewtonMG #PatrickKing #PatrickKingConsulting #SocialSkillsCoaching #HowtoReadPeopleLikeaBook

We tend to think being agreeable and accommodating are positive traits. They are, but only to a certain extent. Studies have shown that too much of either conveys a negative impression to others—precisely what you want to prevent by not asserting yourself. Thus, it seems to make more sense to assert yourself consistently and stop the need for people-pleasing.Hear it Here - https://adbl.co/3n6a2fzShow notes and/or episode transcripts are available at https://bit.ly/social-skills-shownotesLearn more or get a free mini-book on conversation tactics at https://bit.ly/pkconsulting#Agreeable #EnforcingBoundaries #HealthyBoundaries #IndependentThinker #FreedomFromTheDemandsOfOthers #RussellNewton #NewtonMG #PatrickKing #PatrickKingConsulting #SocialSkillsCoaching #TheIndependentThinker

• Exploring kinks, however, is never a bad thing. To do so, it’s important to understand how a kink you come across, including yours, may have arisen. There are typically five theories on the matter: adjacent brain theory, Pavlovian conditioning, pain, gross-out theory, and subjective normal theory. • Yet, knowing your kinks and how they formed is of no use if you don’t feel comfortable enough in bringing them up. You may find it easier to bring it up as a side topic purely to gauge reactions and create a safe space to talk about them.Hear it Here - https://bit.ly/ScienceOfAttractionShow notes and/or episode transcripts are available at https://bit.ly/social-skills-shownotesLearn more or get a free mini-book on conversation tactics at https://bit.ly/pkconsulting#AbnormalSexualPractices #BDSM #Chivers #Ramachandran #JongReiss #JustinLehmiller #Kink #KinkyInterests #KinkyWomen #Lehmiller #SexualArousal #GettingKinky #RussellNewton #NewtonMG #PatrickKing #PatrickKingConsulting #SocialSkillsCoaching #TheScienceofAttraction

Body language has a much broader range of possible interpretations. Generally, a relaxed body takes up space, while an anxious body contracts and wants to conceal and comfort itself. There are too many specifics to list in a bullet point, but just keep in mind that the only true way to analyze body language is to first know exactly what someone is like when they are normal. Hear it Here - https://bit.ly/readpeoplekingShow notes and/or episode transcripts are available at https://bit.ly/social-skills-shownotesLearn more or get a free mini-book on conversation tactics at https://bit.ly/pkconsulting#ArmsAkimbo #BasicGestures #FacialExpressions #JoeNavarro #Navarro #ReflexResponses #Ventilating #CommunicationStartedOutNonverbally #RussellNewton #NewtonMG #PatrickKing #PatrickKingConsulting #SocialSkillsCoaching #HowtoReadPeopleLikeaBook

Finally, it’s important to understand logical arguments—especially illogical arguments. This is how you determine the truth and validity of what is being said. We hear these every day but may not pick out their logical flaws. You can think of these as a combination of math and argumentation. There is the conditional statement (X -> Y, true), the converse statement (Y -> X, usually a flaw), the inverse statement (Not X -> Not Y, usually a flaw), and the contrapositive statement (Not Y -> Not X, true). It’s not just word games; it’s understanding the foundations upon which true and misleading arguments are built.Hear it Here - https://adbl.co/3n6a2fzShow notes and/or episode transcripts are available at https://bit.ly/social-skills-shownotesLearn more or get a free mini-book on conversation tactics at https://bit.ly/pkconsulting#CognitiveBiases #ConditionalStatements #Contrapositive #Converse #InverseStatements #LogicalFlaws #LogicalStatements #TheLawsOfLogic #RussellNewton #NewtonMG #PatrickKing #PatrickKingConsulting #SocialSkillsCoaching #TheIndependentThinker

Make a woman feel safe, understood, and respected, and sex will never be an issue. Make her feel valued for the unique person she is. Play with mystery and discovery. Be genuinely interested in what makes her happy and what her needs are, rather than approaching the relationship primarily with your own needs at the forefront. Oh, and it doesn’t hurt to tell her often that she’s hot stuff.Hear it Here - https://bit.ly/ScienceOfAttractionShow notes and/or episode transcripts are available at https://bit.ly/social-skills-shownotesLearn more or get a free mini-book on conversation tactics at https://bit.ly/pkconsulting#Intimacy #SustainableRelationships #WhatActuallyTurnsWomenOn #RussellNewton #NewtonMG #PatrickKing #PatrickKingConsulting #SocialSkillsCoaching #TheScienceofAttraction