Welcome to "Hey Babe, Can We Talk?" the go-to podcast for the Hot Mess Expresses, the Black Sheep's of Love, and those navigating the ups and downs in matters of the heart. I'm your bestie Drea Renee, the Queen of Romantic Disasters, and just like you she has ignored the red flags and done everything sideways! Whether you're happily coupled, single as a Pringle, or caught in a situationship... let's embark on real and candid conversations about the rollercoaster of relationships. It's time to get honest with ourselves and our partners. I’ve done everything wrong, so as a relationship survivor, let me help you do it right. Go grab your headphones and lets get into it! Listen on all podcast platforms: https://heybabecanwetalk.lnk.to/listen Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

In this Episode of Open Late, Drea discusses the importance of focusing on oneself and provides tips on how to do so. She emphasizes that self-focus is necessary for personal growth and improving relationships. Drea also encourages listeners to spend time alone, get to know themselves, and set boundaries. She also highlights the significance of taking an energy budget of relationships, engaging in activities one enjoys, and taking breaks from social media. The Episode ends with Drea talking about A BIG ANNOUNCEMENT regarding her podcast journey! In this Episode of Open Late: Spending Time Alone and Getting to Know Yourself Taking an Energy Budget of Your Relationships Setting Boundaries and Prioritizing Self-Care Connect With Drea: • Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/openlatethepodcast/  https://www.instagram.com/thedrearenee/  • Website:  https://www.openlatepodcast.com/  • YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@openlatepodcast/videos 1:40 Sometimes we kind of mold into what the other person wants to do. And that's okay in a relationship at times when you're compromising things just because you know your partner wants to do them. -Drea Reene 2:09 But when you start compromising your core values and compromising things that aren't really fulfilling you inside, and you continue to do that for your partner, you're going to build resentment, not even just for your partner, for your friends, your family, all the important people in your life. -Drea Reene 4:35 So we have to spend some time alone. That's the number one thing. Spend some time alone and get to know what you like, what you don't like. Get to understand those things about yourself. What is it that you like to do? -Drea Reene 4:58 So when you start to get to know yourself you gain agency, you gain ownership of yourself, and you build your self-esteem, then you're going to be able to show up better in those other relationships. -Drea Reene 6:43 if your Top five friends are all depleting you, you need to take a step back and focus on yourself if you get in the car after hanging out with some people in your family if hanging out with your partner and You feel completely depleted you are giving too much you are doing too much These people are draining you and you need to reevaluate Who is around you again? -Drea Reene 6:54 I am doing some self -focus right now. And let me tell you, my friends, I want to peel my skin off. -Drea Reene *All the videos, animations and graphics used in the video belong to their respective owners and I or this channel does not claim any right over them* Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

In this Episode of Open Late, Drea reconnects with Jessica, the creator of the podcast! Jessica talks about her journey as a mother and the challenges and joys she has experienced. They also discuss the need for self-care and finding time for oneself amidst the demands of parenthood. The conversation touches on the dynamics of Jessica's relationship with her partner and the importance of keeping the spark alive. They also explore the topic of open relationships and the potential for sexual exploration. Jess also reveals that she is considering taking courses to stimulate her brain and potentially writing a book. She also announces that she will not be returning to host the podcast for the time being, but may consider coming back in the future. She shares her concerns about raising children in a poly household and the potential for outsiders to treat them differently. In the end, Jessica expresses her gratitude and love for the listeners and her excitement for what the future holds. In this Episode of Open Late: Becoming a Mother and the First Night with Twins Self-Care and Finding Time for Oneself Jess Open Relationship and Sexual Exploration Raising Children in a Poly Household Mentioned in This Episode: “Untrue” By Dr. Wednesday Martin: https://a.co/d/fTuD0j4 Connect With Jess: • Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/journey.with.jessica/?hl=es Connect With Drea: • Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/openlatethepodcast/  https://www.instagram.com/thedrearenee/  • Website:  https://www.openlatepodcast.com/  • YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@openlatepodcast/videos 5:46 We set it up in a way that made us feel cozy, confident, like we had everything we needed. And that did nothing for the fact that you are so terrified when you bring your kids home for the first time. -Jessica Esfandiary 9:59 My interactions with anyone outside sort of my very inner circle have been very limited. Like I will go days, sometimes like weeks or maybe never texting somebody back. And I like feel bad a little bit, but I also don't have the capacity to think about that interaction or those feelings or that person because my life is so full on 24 seven. - Jessica Esfandiary 11:25 I think my perspective on the world has changed a lot too, being a parent, like I feel deeper for the problems of the world, like the children that are like, you know, traumatized or hurt or misplaced because of like all the war that's going on and happening in like so many different countries. - Jessica Esfandiary 22:28 And If you are having good sex, you probably are not on antidepressants. - Jessica Esfandiary 24:23 The interesting thing that I have found over the years when people are in disbelief about being open, it is mostly because in their experience on any long term relationship that they have ever been in, the spice dies, and the happiness generally fades, unless a couple find ways to become mutually excited about things. - Jessica Esfandiary 30:27 Some people will use a situation to sort of get unhealthy needs met, like people can come into non monogamy, in a way, because they have all these needs, and they're trying to meet them with like lots of different partners, you know, that's like a big intersection of love dependency or sex addiction and non monogamy. - Jessica Esfandiary 39:34 People get so stuck in their boxes, and I've done this too. And I think just being in our community has helped me so much, especially coming from Texas of all that you should, you're supposed to, you have to, and you really don't have to do anything. You can make your life how you want to make it. -Drea Renee 42:56 Do I have any concerns? I am kind of concerned that outsiders or society or teachers, other kids, might be awful to my children. - Jessica Esfandiary Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

In this Open Late Quickie, Drea discusses the importance of taking responsibility for one's part in various situations. She emphasizes the need to look at how we show up and what we do in situations that cause discomfort or conflict. Drea explores the role of choices and communication in relationships and highlights the significance of recognizing mistakes and not giving too many chances. She also discusses the accountability in confusing situationships and the importance of stepping away from unfavorable situations. Take ownership, compartmentalize responsibility, and surround yourself with a supportive network. In this Episode of Open Late: The Importance of Choices and Communication in Relationships Overcomplicating Situations and Seeing the Good in People Taking Ownership and Separating Responsibility Self-Growth and Admitting Fault Connect with Drea: • Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/openlatethepodcast/  https://www.instagram.com/thedrearenee/  • Website:  https://www.openlatepodcast.com/  • YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@openlatepodcast/videos 2:18 When we are putting this towards the view of relationships, our choices that we make in the beginning are so important. The conversations that we're having are so important. Listening to what our partners are saying is so important, especially when things go sour and they don't work out and you look back and you think, hmm, what did they tell me? What did I ignore? How did I continue showing up? How is this person showing up for me? And this goes for all relationships - Drea Renee 3:02 I know it begins with understanding and realizing that we play a part in every situation or experience and have some degree of responsibility over the outcomes and consequences. - Drea Renee 7:05 But you got to take responsibility for looking at what part of your trauma, what part of your history, what part of your own self-worth, your self-esteem is allowing you to show up into situations that aren't serving you. - Drea Renee 11: 44 It will always go back to taking ownership for your part and also forgiving yourself - Drea Renee Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

In this episode, Drea discusses the importance of leaving closed doors closed and not obsessing over why they were closed. She emphasizes the need for closure and the desire to know why things happen. Drea explores the concept of running from ourselves and the various ways we try to fill the void within us. She also talks about the difficulty of focusing on ourselves and the tendency to focus on others instead. It's time to love and accept ourselves. In this Episode of Open Late: The Need for Closure The Answer is in the “No” Answer Acceptance, Self-Control and Respecting Ourselves Connect with Drea: • Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/openlatethepodcast/  https://www.instagram.com/thedrearenee/  • Website:  https://www.openlatepodcast.com/  • YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@openlatepodcast/videos 02:00 Running from ourselves. You want to run from yourself. Why would you want to deal with yourself? Right? Because that would be really confronting, and that's really scary for us. Right? It's easier just like in romantic relationships, just like in friendships, just like in family relationships, all the relationships, it's a lot easier to focus on others instead of focusing on yourself. -Drea Renee 2:07 Anything to keep us from ourselves so bringing that energy that we so freely give to others to ourselves is What we actually need to get to that next level of growth that next level of validation that we're seeking from everybody else and The core of it all is to give that love to yourself give that love to yourself. - Drea Renee 4:24 But I think there is this run towards this chasing, if you will, towards figuring out why they said it, how they said it, why are they not calling, and all the things. And it can be really easy to get caught up in that. And at the end of the day, this all comes down to control. We cannot control other people. - Dtea Renee 4:34 See this episode this open like quickie It's all about coming back to yourself and when those doors are closing for you. The universe wants to open other doors. It's hard as that is to believe. -Drea Renee 4:43 When you're looking for those answers, the answer is in the no answer. The answer, my friends, is in the no response in the text. The answer is the no invitation. Those are the answers. But a lot of times we get caught up in the why, why. And when you're focused on all of those things, you're just taking away energy from yourself, energy from yourself. - Drea Renee 09:17 I make a point to wake up and say, acceptance is the answer to all of my problems today. Because it is, it is, especially when I cannot control things. - Drea Renee Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

In this Episode of Open Late, Drea interviews Cassandra House, a transformational coach that helps people Monetize Your Genius, about balancing a career and a marriage. They discuss the challenges they faced in past relationships, and the importance of conflict resolution in a marriage. Cassandra shares her personal journey of self-discovery and the role of childhood wounds in relationships, and the significance of maintaining self-care and boundaries in order to have a healthy and fulfilling marriage. They also talk about Cassandra's upcoming projects, including turning her show into a TV show and helping people monetize their genius. Cassandra shares her passion for helping others turn their ideas into fully functioning businesses and finding funding for inventions and entrepreneurial ventures. In this Episode of Open Late: Balancing Career and Marriage The Worthiness Wound and Relationships Self-Care and Boundaries Helping Others Monetize Their Genius: Finding Funding  Connect with Cassandra: • Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/cassandrahouse_/ https://www.instagram.com/iamcassandrahouse/ • Website: https://monetizeyourgenius.com/  Connect with Drea: • Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/openlatethepodcast/  https://www.instagram.com/thedrearenee/  • Website:  https://www.openlatepodcast.com/  • YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@openlatepodcast/videos 2:56 You don't just marry into like the neighborhood and your family's all around and it's all happy days. If there's a lot of distance has a lot of, you know, different things you've got to navigate together. - Cassandra House 5:23 Yes, I think Josh is the husband because he was the first one that didn't want to keep me small and he let me fly. - Cassandra House 14:57 I think my one of my biggest things is like an abandonment a fear of abandonment Which is probably why I dated so many people that weren't great because I didn't want to be alone, right? - Cassandra House 16:05 I think when you aren't emotionally evolved and you're walking around the world and you're unaware of how you're showing up to people, because I would go on dates with my seven-year-old self. I didn't go on my adult self. My seven-year-old was going on dates and she's like, hi, can you see me? - Drea Renne 16:58 I say like people are waiting for the wound to be away or gone or healed to move towards their dreams, but really anyone that's really successful it means that they've been able to operate and move towards their goals and dreams and love and all of that in spite of the wound. - Cassandra House 17: 05 Act in spite of the worthiness wound, not because of it. - Cassandra House  18: 58 I feel like when you're dating, you really are meeting at the worthiness wound level. Like it's that person's wounds are out, your wounds are out and you're sort of dancing with the wound in the middle. When you're married, you've got each other's wounds to deal with as well. So I'm always like, be really careful of the wound you want to take on because it becomes a part of what you deal with all the time. - Cassandra House 20: 57 I can be married and strive in my career. - Cassandra House 21:36 In business even tough you love it and you are all in, it will never fulfill you like marriage and love will. - Cassandra House  Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

In this Episode of Open Late, Drea connects with Michelle Murad to break down the perceptions surrounding the glamour and perfection often portrayed in the creative industry. With a deep-dive into mental health and the less visible realities behind the filtered lens of social media, the discussion turns to the ongoing struggle for those battling to maintain their personal brand in the authentic and vulnerable landscape of mental battles. They also shed light on the complexities of self-identity within social contexts, as individuals grapple with the balance between staying true to their core identity and adapting to fit in with societal and professional expectations. In this Episode of Open Late: Michelle's New Movement: “Behind the Smile” Reflections on Relationship Growth  Personal Growth - Speaking Mind to Everyone Our Subconscious Influences Social Media and Mental Health Mentioned in the Episode: Book “The Power of Your Subconscious Mind” https://www.amazon.com/Power-Your-Subconscious-Mind/dp/1614270198 Connect with Drea: • Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/openlatethepodcast/  https://www.instagram.com/thedrearenee/  • Website:  https://www.openlatepodcast.com/  • YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@openlatepodcast/videos Connect with Michelle Murad: • Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/michelleamurad/  • YouTube “The Charlotte Chronicles”:  https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCHku9ZdBEE47wU6GgUpEnxA 3: 34 And so I remember just looking at all these posts of people doing what I wanted to do, and I remember telling myself, when I get to that point in life, I will be honest that it's not perfect. - Michelle Murad 5: 56 I was looking, trying to show that, hey, even when you see a picture of someone or you see them doing whatever it is that you aspire to do, life is not exactly.That's their life. That's not your life. And I just want to make sure people know that we're all putting up a front on social media. - Michelle Murad 9: 46 Especially when we're in the process of growing and dealing with all of these things where we are hiding behind the smile and trying to show up for people as what they need and listening to what their feedback is about us and forgetting that when you are going to these relationships, you really have to have your own foundation. -Drea Renee  11:49 learning in relationships doesn't always have to be painful, it can be powerful, it can have a beautiful ending, it was sad, but it wasn't something toxic.- Drea Renee 13:11 You have the relationship, and then if things aren't working, caring about that person enough to be like, hey, we can part, but I don't hate you. We just don't vibe. I think that is, honestly, like you said, the true definition of love, where you're like, I love you enough to still want to see you thrive, still want to see you do great things. -Drea Renee  24:58 I attract people based of my authenticity and repel people that are not based of my authenticity because that's not my tribe . We are so afraid to not be liked, to not be invited its rooted in us that we are trying to rewire and reprogram - Michelle Murad 26: 35 I think what's important is to take up space and be yourself. And if that relationship doesn't allow it, that relationship is not for you. - Michelle Murad 29:56 I think such a good question to ask yourself. Anyone listening is like, if something is bringing you closer to your joy or your misery, like, everything we do, is it bringing you closer? Every single thing you do, is this bringing you closer to your goals and your joy? - Michelle Murad  Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

In this Episode of Open Late, Drea introduce you to Quené Forée: a remarkable personality with a wealth of professions. As an author, content creator and spiritual healer, Quené embodies the essence of living authentically and passionately. Join her today, as they unravel the concept of "staying wild at heart," which she lives by, signifying the power and significance of expressing oneself and extending our spirit to the world. Quené's journey is not an outward show; it's the profound journey of self-discovery that she embodies. Her infectious spirit of positivity and joy have dominated every space she steps in, which is evidenced in her work. Today, they dive deep into this journey, which is not just a journey of transformation but a message she lives and breathes, inspiring many to follow their hearts. In this Episode of Open Late: The importance of self-trust and instincts The concept of “marrying oneself” Boundaries for personal energy preservation Struggles with codependency in relationships: The “Broken Bird Syndrome”  Introduction to Quené's book "Spiritually LIT” Connect with Drea: • Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/openlatethepodcast/  https://www.instagram.com/thedrearenee/  • Website:  https://www.openlatepodcast.com/  • YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@openlatepodcast/videos Connect with Quené Forée: • Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/queneforee?igsh=MzRlODBiNWFlZA== • P's and Q's Podcast:  https://psandqspodcast.buzzsprout.com/share • YouTube:  https://youtube.com/@PsandQs?si=Z6pztcAP7_BSSXvA •Book “Spiritually LIT”: https://amzn.to/3ROXDQt 3:27 But I have found that the more I practice that practice of saying no with love, of prioritizing my mental health, prioritizing my self-care, the more the people around me respect those boundaries. Because if you don't set the boundary, no one knows what your boundary is. - Quené Forée  4:29 The people who really care about you, they want you to be happy, they want you to be whole. They want you to feel good. And if you don't trust them with your truth, then you never give them the opportunity to support you in your truth. - Quené Forée  6:55 We'd be surprised how many things we're doing, thinking if we don't, the other person is going to be extraordinarily upset when that's not necessarily the case. We create a lot of stories on our own. We create a lot of outcomes in our mind that don't exist. - Quené Forée  16:13 And I think the beauty of relationships is that they offer you a mirror and an opportunity for your personal growth. They will shine light on your imperfections, on your insecurities, on your opportunities as well. And if we choose to take them, they can be a great place for exponential growth. - Quené Forée  19:00 But have we taken the time to make those promises to ourselves? And I think that's something that. You're your best friend. - Quené Forée  19:41 And that is how you build that self-esteem and that worth and that value system for yourself by keeping those promises to yourself, even if it's something as simple as I'm going to make my bed every single day this week. And what's so interesting about something so small like that is that you may think in your mind initially, oh, that's not that big of a deal. 19:58 But when you actually take the action to do it and you see how you feel, just like you took the steps to take those vows to Quené, and that was probably really transformative. - Drea Renee 37:14 You can say no, you can take care of yourself. Because the codependency isn't just stopping at romantic relationships. This goes over into friendships, too. - Drea Renee Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

In this Episode of Open Late, Drea discusses the importance of believing people when they tell you who they are. She emphasizes the need to pay attention to red flags and not make excuses for someone's behavior. This principle applies not only to romantic relationships but also to friendships and family dynamics. Drea encourages listeners to cut toxic people out of their lives and surround themselves with supportive friends. By choosing their circle wisely, individuals can create healthier and more fulfilling relationships. In this Episode of Open Late: The Temptation to Change Someone Recognizing Red Flags in Relationships Choosing Your Circle Wisely Believing People When They Show You Who They Are Connect with Drea: • Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/openlatethepodcast/  https://www.instagram.com/thedrearenee/  • Website:  https://www.openlatepodcast.com/  • YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@openlatepodcast/videos 3:12 We all have to ask ourselves, how are people showing up for others? What information open did they give us in the beginning? Friendships to my friends and even with our family members. If we can take a look at patterns of how they've been showing up in their lives. 6:11 So when you were on your journey of dating someone, think about what are they saying to me? How are they talking about their past relationships? How are they speaking about their families? How are they speaking about their friends? These are things that we need to take note of when we are deciding if someone should be our partners 14:21 When you do meet somebody, that's your match. That is sometimes, especially for people that are coming from this long history of toxic relationships. It can be scary. It can be scary. But there is beauty and joy in having a healthy relationship. Someone who's communicating with you, someone who cares about your day, calling you back, texting you back, all those beautiful things communicating with you, showing you that you can be seen, that you can be seen. 15:21 So if you have low self-esteem, you believe you're not worth it, you're not worth being seen. Nine times out of ten, you are going to attract and entertain a person that's going to reinforce that belief system about yourself. So we have to get right within our own worthiness, our own value. 19:48 Believe them. Don't try to figure it out. Don't try to ask them why. Don't try to make excuses for their trauma. Don't say, it's because his mom did this or it's her dad left and then all the things. No, no, no. Believe them. And if they are not interested in healing these parts of themselves, it's going to come out and their relationship with you. 20:49 This is the place of love and acceptance. The Hot mess expresses the black sheets of love. You are welcome here.  Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

In this Episode of Open Late, Drea focuses on the pain of loving the wrong person and the struggle of letting go. She discusses the science and chemical aspects of attachment and trauma bonding. Also, she emphasizes the importance of recognizing unhealed wounds and taking responsibility for one's part in unhealthy relationships. The roller coaster of unhealthy relationships and the attraction to chaos are explored. The episode also offers advice on seeking support, practicing self-care, expressing oneself, and journaling. The journey of healing and self-worth is highlighted, along with the importance of planting seeds for change and treating oneself well. In this Episode of Open Late: The Pain of Loving the Wrong Person Unhealed Wounds and Trauma Bonding The Roller Coaster of Unhealthy Relationships Support and Self-Care Support Group: Sex and Love Addicts Anonymous (S.L.A.A.) https://slaafws.org/ Books: Love is a Choice https://a.co/d/50Y9mUG When You Love Too Much https://a.co/d/atg9Zci Connect with Drea: • Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/openlatethepodcast/  https://www.instagram.com/thedrearenee/  • Website:  https://www.openlatepodcast.com/  • YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@openlatepodcast/videos 5:58 If it's reinforcing the beliefs that you have about yourself, then you know, we're going to go towards it. And I can tell you, in my experience when I've had these moments in my life, I always knew in the beginning and I think there was a part of me, like I said before, that wanted to just run for myself and said, person gave me something to do, and I want to give grace to everyone that's in the beginning of this, or just kind of starting the awareness of these patterns in your life because this isn't a conscious thing. 10:12 That's the true LARC, love and relationship codependency aspect. That is it right there. It consumes everything. It's the first thing you think about. You know, you can't eat, you can't move, can't go to work, you can't do the things it's taking over your life. And I know what that's like. As I was on that journey, I definitely realized those moments where it was getting better, but I'm still in the throes of it. 11:22 I remember waking up and you just feel like and elephant is on your chest. Like taking a shower and just having the hardest cry of all time. And it seemed like that pain was just never, ever going to go away and your brain is just on loop, constantly trying to figure out how you got there, what happened, what you could have done differently 12:08 The rollercoaster can be exciting sometimes, right? You're up now down. They're telling you it's over. You're telling them it's over. You're back together. Nobody knows. But then it's like, Is that it? Is that your life? And I'm sure some of us have asked ourselves, are we ever going to be in a healthy place? 19:30 When you start engaging in those self esteem acts, that's when that stuff starts to change and it's organic. It's like when these things start to happen, you almost don't even know. What ends up happening Is those actions no longer feel in alignment in your self, which is growing. You want to find your power within yourself.  22:30 If you are experiencing that immense pain of letting someone go, you are not alone. And there are things that you can do to get yourself through this space in your life and just remember like it does not have to be perfect motion changes emotion 100%. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

In this Episode of Open Late, Drea answers questions from listeners about love and relationship codependency. She shares her personal journey of becoming aware of codependency and the impact it had on her relationships. Drea also discusses the turning point and breakthrough moment she had with codependency, as well as how it affected her professional environment. She provides advice on establishing healthy boundaries, reclaiming independence in a relationship, addressing the fear of abandonment, and expressing needs without creating tension. There is hope for change, prioritize self-care and self-love always! In this Episode of Open Late: Becoming Aware of Codependency Impact on Professional Environment Establishing Healthy Boundaries and Reclaiming Independence  Expressing Needs Without Creating Tension Hope for Change Connect with Drea: • Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/openlatethepodcast/  https://www.instagram.com/thedrearenee/  • Website:  https://www.openlatepodcast.com/  • YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@openlatepodcast/videos 3:28 This shows up in work, relationships, this shows up in friendships, this shows up in even simply something as simple as the groceries .I don't want them to have to wait too long. If I'm looking for something in my purse, I'm always thinking about other people, always thinking about other people and putting myself on the back burner.  7:38 That was a big turning point for me because there was really a time and space where I felt really crazy in my behavior in that I was the only person in the world that was experiencing that. So that was a major turning point for me to go to those meetings and think to myself, my God, there are other people who are experiencing this exact same thing. 10:07 Just calling in and changing my schedule, asking people to pick up my shifts, all the things now take out the love and relationship part and just talk about codependency. my gosh, It absolutely affected me at work because when you are a people pleaser and you struggle to say, No, I can't work that shift, or no, I can't do that. 11:35 You do not want to give a person a laundry list of things to do when you're working on shifting your behavior that can be very overwhelming and you go into shock mode and then you just end up not doing anything. That's usually how that lands where you think there's, okay, I'm not, I can't do all that. 13:55 There is a space in a relationship to have some healthy independence and it really helps you get back to yourself if you are lost in a relationship. And sometimes when it's two people that are just full on that way, you don't even know that you're lost until something happens and you look up and you haven't spoken to your family, you haven't spoken to your friends because you're completely enmeshed. 17:07 The tighter you hold on to something, the more it's going to want to just get away from you and people are not attracted to that energy. People are not attracted to that energy. Having self-respect, having boundaries, creating your space. That is what's attractive, that is what is attractive. And if you are feeling those feelings of being abandoned, you have to do your own self work. 23:28 You can't love your way into their hearts if they don't want you there. You cannot love your way into someone's heart if they don't want you there. It's there for it's not there. And it's the most painful realization, but it's a true realization.  23:43 Time does heal. It. Does things change. I mean, thank God I'm not still crying about the guy I was upset about. It was 17. And I remember that cry very vividly as well. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

In this Episode of Open Late, Drea interviews Brian and Audrey, a couple who met on TikTok and quickly moved in together. They discuss their journey, the reactions from friends and family, and how they keep their relationship fresh. They also talk about their communication styles, avoiding toxic behaviors, and the importance of privacy in the age of social media. Likewise, they share their thoughts on ethical non-monogamy and discuss their love languages and how they express affection. In this conversation, Brian and Audrey discuss their relationship and offer insights into navigating personal challenges, balancing individuality and togetherness, working together and their favorite things about each other.  In this Episode of Open Late: Moving in Within the First Months of Knowing Each Other Keeping the Relationship Fresh  Maintaining Privacy in the Age of Social Media Navigating Gender Roles and Expectations Advice for Relationships in Today's Society Connect with Brian and Audrey: https://www.instagram.com/brianathey2/ https://www.instagram.com/audreymittel/ https://www.tiktok.com/@brian_athey2?lang=es https://www.tiktok.com/@audreymittel?lang=es Connect with Drea: • Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/openlatethepodcast/  https://www.instagram.com/thedrearenee/  • Website:  https://www.openlatepodcast.com/  • YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@openlatepodcast/videos 09:47 I'm like grunting huffs every now and then, like I might get a little pissed off, but like, we're human. We don't get disrespectful. Stop disrespecting your partner. - Brian Athey 13:27 Find new things to do together and stop being so terrified of everything or people are lazy. That's where the boring comes in. Like that's where people get bored because they just expect something exciting -Audrey Mittel 22:00 I can do it all by myself, you know, and not realizing that when you are in a relationship with someone, it is important to feel needed by your partner, right? Like you want to feel like you're useful, and then you are both doing things for each other. And so those little moments of like just greeting each other when you see each other, like if you start dropping that, then that's when the relationship starts to fall apart. -Drea Renee 22:32 No matter how long you've been with your partner, you should still continue to date your partner.-Audrey Mittel  42:22 Stop trying to race each other to a finish line. There is no finish line whatsoever. And the only finish line is when you're six feet under. Like, that's it. Like so I don't know why you're racing to that. So it's like when you stop competing and you start completing each other and like, just complete the circuit. -Brian Athey 43:27 Find your friend in your person, you know? Don't just find your person like find your friend. -Audrey Mittel 19:01 Whatever our roles are that we can still even if we can double up on a role, then we'll fill it. Like if you can do something better than I can, that's cool. I'll find something else that I could do better than you, got somebody rowing a boat now, I guess my steering it. -Brian Athey 19:17 Now we got this boat actually moving. We're not fighting each other for who's going to do this, Who's going to do that.-Brian Athey 30:51 If you're listening, that means you're having to learn. So you're learning how to make it happen all the time.-Brian Athey Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

In this episode of Open Late, Drea discusses the struggle of wanting to reach out to someone you know you shouldn't be contacting. She shares personal experiences and provides advice on how to manage the anxiety and feelings associated with love dependency. The importance of giving yourself grace and understanding that feelings are not facts is crucial on this process. Also, there is a key component of finding support through podcasts, support groups, and therapy. Drea also encourages asking yourself important questions about the person and the relationship, and recognizing the patterns and triggers that contribute to the love dependency cycle. She concludes by reminding listeners that it's okay to have setbacks and to be on their own journey. In this Episode of Open Late: How feelings are not facts Finding support to resist contacting an ex Recognizing codependency patterns and triggers Embracing setbacks in personal growth Mentioned in This Episode: Books about Love Codependency and Addiction https://a.co/d/hzrU91V  https://a.co/d/9Vr3YIc  Sex and Love Addicts Anonymous (S.L.A.A.) https://slaafws.org/  Connect with Drea: • Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/openlatethepodcast/  https://www.instagram.com/thedrearenee/  • Website: https://www.openlatepodcast.com/ • YouTube:https://www.youtube.com/@openlatepodcast/videos 02:12 Don't send that text. Don't send that meme, because I know we do that, too. We've seen the meme, and the meme feels safe because it's not a phone call. It's not a text. It's just a meme. Right? What's the harm? No, don't do it. 02:57 They all change. I think that was one of the biggest lessons I've learned in my life. Feelings are not facts, unfortunately. I wish the good ones could just stay right, but they don't. And that's okay. So even if you're waking up today, and you're feeling so bad about yourself, or you're feeling bad about the situation, you're feeling bad about that person that you really want to call, just know this is not the end at all. 05:10 When you don't get something, or you don't know when you're going to get it, it creates that excitement. And that's how those toxic relationships start.  07:14 Start paying attention to what's happening in your body and start asking yourself, those big questions of who is this person? How are they making me feel? How are they showing up in my life? 09:14 So once you've gotten clear on some of these things that you can sort of intellectualize you kind of know what is a healthy relationship, what does that look like? 09:28 Sometimes it can feel boring. It just can. And that's just the truth, right? And when you're used to being triggered and the adrenaline and all the ups and the downs, and then you find somebody who's showing up for you consistently, you will not know what to do with that energy. 11:46 The energy that you have for them is just ready to go, which is that's a telltale sign as well. When you can override what your body and your mind is trying to tell you for that person, that's a telltale sign of like, okay, I'm maybe going into some interesting territory or I'm crossing my boundaries because my body's clearly trying to tell me something. 14:28 This is mine, this is theirs and this is ours. There are times when things show up for me, where I'm thinking to myself, okay, this is not our problem. This is a past projection. This is something I need to work on that I'm putting on my partner. 16:25 Drea, you wasted four years. I don't, I don't view it that way. I can't do it that way. I got four years of interesting lessons, that's for sure. And if it wasn't him, that taught me that somebody else would, that is how I see it.  18:18 Motion does change emotion.  19:53 Agnes, Not today. We're going to go on a walk and then you could come back. You can tell Agnes that they can come back later. Because that's the thing, you guys. It's all about managing. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

In this episode of the Open Late Podcast, Drea Renee, your new host, shares her journey with love codependency and the process of rediscovering self-love. Returning to the studio, Drea delves into her personal history, tracing the origins of her love codependency to a childhood fascination with love and the challenges arising from her parents' divorce. Drea recounts experiences of navigating unhealthy relationships, grappling with boundary-setting issues, and neglecting self-care. She also thoroughly explores the signs of love codependency, including obsession, persistent validation seeking, and a fear of solitude. On the other hand, Drea highlights the emotional roller coaster of extreme highs and lows, the compromise of personal values, and the neglect of friendships and family. Throughout the episode, Drea encourages listeners to recognize these signs as the first step in a challenging yet crucial journey toward overcoming love codependency and fostering personal growth. In this Episode of Open Late: Introduction to Love Codependency Journey Childhood Impact on Love Views Unhealthy Relationship Patterns Recognizing Signs of Love Codependency Encouragement for Personal Growth Connect with Drea: • Instagram: @thedrearenee | @openlatethepodcast • Website: openlatepodcast.com  • YouTube: Open Late Podcast • Open Late Dictionary 8:10 It isn't easy to walk away, somebody can come up to you, huge red flag and this guy said to me “Drea, I don't want to be in a relationship” all I hear is a challenge, okay lets get it. - Drea Renee 10:08 My moment for me, my AHA moment was when I was driving late at night, I was crying hysterically. I had to be at work the next day. I had no sleep. I hadn't spoken to my friends or my family. All I wanted to do is get this guy to do what I wanted him to do, which was call me back, come see me, you know, whatever the thing is, text me back, whatever. And I thought to myself, I was like, wow, this is really taking over my life. - Drea Renee 11:04 When I'm in that space, I call her Agnes. And when Agnes comes out, it's just like, forget it. I mean, there really isn't anything that anyone can do. And that is how codependency works. It doesn't matter who's in your way. It doesn't matter what anybody says. You're gonna go do whatever you need to do to get that text, to get that person to see you, to get them to respond. - Drea Renee 12:53 That love codependency journey really started for me again when I was young and also me wanting to create this relationship that I didn't see with my parents. I just fell in love with this idea of love. And I still am in love with that idea of love, but it's more healthy now. - Drea Renee 16:11 Now I definitely have stayed in some relationships longer than I should have because I did not want to be alone I didn't want to get off work and come home to an empty house I didn't want the weekends to come and go to the farmers market by myself But at the end of the day and I used to hate hearing this. - Drea Renee 23:58 Do not take for granted getting entangled with someone. If you know you have a hard time letting people go, really stay vigilant and conscious of who are you attaching yourself to. - Drea Renee 27:48 I think being aware of your patterns when they become harmful, and they are interfering with your well-being and ability to live a balance life, that's where we can start from - Drea Renee Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Welcome to Open Late, your go-to podcast where we unveil the intricacies of love and dive deep into the word of relationship co-dependency. Each week, we will explore the raw and real journey of love, peeling back the layers of co-dependency to uncover the true essence of healthy relationships. Join Drea as she shares her personal experiences with love and bring on couples who have navigated the complexities of relationships in the modern word. We are not just talking about love, though, we are diving deep into the psychology of relationships and getting insights from experts in the field. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

In this episode of the Open Late Podcast, there's a unique twist as Jess welcomes Drea Renee back to the studio. However, this time, after more than 2 years, Jess finds herself in the guest seat. It's a significant moment as the show introduces its new host, Drea, an expert specializing in love and dependency, who will be taking over Open Late Podcast while Jess is on maternity leave. They engage in a conversation about Jess's reflections on the future of Open Late and why Drea is the ideal substitute host for this period. They discuss the next steps for the podcast and provide insights into what Jess and Pasha's parenting style will look like. Drea shares her experience of seeing Pasha and Jess in the wild as a polyamorous couple, and they delve into the topic of people trying to protect someone they believe is being cheated on by their partner. As the episode concludes, Jess surprises Drea with a heartfelt gift to mark the beginning of her upcoming journey as the host, and she takes her last bow, at least for now. In this Episode of Open Late: New host of Open Late Delving into the podcast's future Exploring diverse parenting styles The dynamics of “protecting” a polyamorous friend Last Goodbyes and Firsts Welcome Backs Connect with Drea: • Instagram: @thedrearenee Connect with Jessica: • Instagram: @journey.with.jessica | @openlatethepodcast • Website: openlatepodcast.com  • YouTube: Open Late Podcast • What's my relationship style? Take the Open Late Quiz • Join our free chat community, "Open Talks" on WhatsApp • Open Late Dictionary 00:30 It's official. I am taking over for Jess while she's on maternity leave. - Drea Renee 2:45 I had the realization just a few weeks ago that being a mother is a short-lived little window. - Jessica Esfandiary 4:43 I love a camera and a microphone. I'm always down for it. - Drea Renee 9:28 I would love to sing to my babies, sing to them or write little songs for them. But I feel like writing will be something that'll be, like, manageable. - Jessica Esfandiary 10:30 I Think is the exhilaration of like having this new love and watching Pasha become a father, that makes me so excited - Jessica Esfandiary 12:43 If I could have a partner that is consistent, that knows me and that knows my circumstance and my relationship that's familiar, I think I would maybe go out here and there when time permits. - Jessica Esfandiary 15:28 I want it to be fluid where it's not this thing where we sit our kids down one day. And we're like, we have something to tell you. Mommy and daddy are in an open relationship, we're not doing that. - Jessica Esfandiary 16:22 Children learn what they live and they learn what love is based on what they see. - Jessica Esfandiary 21:27 I like to split up my emotions because I think, like, jealousy is a little bit lazy. I think that there's envy, there's fear of abandonment, like all there micro emotions underneath it. - Jessica Esfandiary 23:57 What's meant for you, won't miss you. The Universe does not fuck up - Jessica Esfandiary  Take advantage of a 30% discount on Dr. Zhana's eligible courses with code "JESSICA", applied to the first payment only for offers with multiple payments or subscriptions. • Open Smarter Course The product I love who support this show: • Honey Pot Lube and Massage Oil OPENLATE20 • The Oh Club OPENLATE • Desire Resorts  This is a Sabbatical Jess Production Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

In this episode of the Open Late Podcast, after more than a year, Jess welcomes back Pasha, her husband and highly requested guest. Together, they open up about the challenges they've faced and conquered, sharing the intimate details of how they navigated and overcame the struggles that life threw their way. They explore the topic of workaholism, shedding light on how it can impact not only one's personal life but also their relationship, emphasizing the potential consequences when a relationship isn't actively nurtured. They speak openly about their decision to seek therapy, offering insights into why they embarked on this journey together and what they've learned along the way. They also express views on jealousy, discussing how to handle it and why confronting it is important. With the anticipation of their twins' arrival, Jess and Pasha take us through their preparations, they also share their biggest fears and concerns as they look ahead to becoming parents to two precious babies. Furthermore, Jess and Pasha generously devote time to respond to questions from their listeners, offering thoughtful and practical advice on a range of topics, including relationship dynamics and life's unpredictable twists and turns. In this Episode of Open Late: Raw insights and dynamics of a polyamorous marriage Overcoming personal challenges and addressing jealousy The impact of workaholism on your relationship Couples Therapy and why is it okay to seek it Preparations for the twins and the biggest fears Mentioned in the Episode: • Podcast: Your Partner is NOT your superhero Connect with Pasha: • Instagram: @pashaesfandiary Connect with Jessica: • Instagram: @journey.with.jessica | @openlatethepodcast • Website: openlatepodcast.com  • YouTube: Open Late Podcast • What's my relationship style? Take the Open Late Quiz • Join our free chat community, "Open Talks" on WhatsApp • Open Late Dictionary 5:18 We've always been like such an open book with each other, and that's always worked for us because we love open communication. We love to over communicate, and we never wanted to have any secrets. - Jessica Esfandiary 6:20 I'm looking for something meaningful right now. I'm not looking for just hookups. - Pasha Esfandiary 9:46 Specially moving into this season of becoming a mom is like, I know how sacred my energy is and I dont have a lot of it right now - Jessica Esfandiary  16:09 I think that I and you as well took our relationship for granted and didn't realize that it was like its own living organism that needed care and attention and focus truly, and that it needs to have like energy poured into it. - Jessica Esfandiary 18:48 I think it's really important to know that I've made a massive effort that after five or 6:00, there's no work. - Pasha Esfandiary 23:09 Jealousy is a tool and an indicator to something that you can work on that is deeper and more prevalent -Pasha Esfandiary 40:33 At some point any new partner you get will not satisfy every single one of your needs to the way that we have dreamed up in our society. - Pasha Esfandiary 44:08 Being with other people can create more desire and chemistry within your own relationship -Jessica Esfandiary  49:17 People become more understanding with education and just if you're authentic, they're going to be authentic too. - Pasha Esfandiary 51:58 I do see myself coming back and see this show growing and evolving with me as I become a mom, a polyamorous mother of twins. - Jessica Esfandiary Take advantage of a 30% discount on Dr. Zhana's eligible courses with code "JESSICA", applied to the first payment only for offers with multiple payments or subscriptions. • Open Smarter Course The product I love who support this show: • Honey Pot Lube and Massage Oil OPENLATE20 • The Oh Club OPENLATE • Desire Resorts  This is a Sabbatical Jess Production Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

In this episode of Open Late, Jess goes solo and provides listeners with a personal life update. She shares her excitement and anticipation as her baby twins are nearing their arrival, and how this has triggered a profound transformation in all aspects of her life. As the Open Late Podcast celebrates its two-year anniversary, Jess reflects on the journey so far, highlighting the growth and evolution of the show. She offers insights into the preparations for her upcoming motherhood journey, giving listeners a glimpse into the challenges and joys that come with it. Jess also shares a snippet of her lactation journey, providing a glimpse into the unique experiences and challenges she's encountered as she prepares to welcome her twins. As a special treat, Jess has a big surprise in store for the end of the episode, ensuring that listeners will be in for an exciting and memorable conclusion. Join Jess on this deeply personal and celebratory episode of Open Late. In this Open Late episode: Jess's recent life update The imminent arrival of the twins Celebrating OpenLate's 2nd Birthday Reflecting on the show's growth and evolution Embracing new beginnings    Connect with Jessica: • Instagram: @journey.with.jessica | @openlatethepodcast • Website: openlatepodcast.com  • YouTube: Open Late Podcast • What's my relationship style? Take the Open Late Quiz • Join our free chat community, "Open Talks" on WhatsApp • Open Late Dictionary 00:36 We are expecting twins very soon, and that has turned my life upside down and on its head in ways that I could never imagine. And I have grown so much as a woman just by preparing for these sweet, special little beings. – Jessica Esfandiary  2:27 Over the last two years, I have really interviewed all of the people that I wanted to. – Jessica Esfandiary   5:31 It's been a blast. And I've learned and I've grown so much by doing this. – Jessica Esfandiary   6:56 The decision was not an easy one in the beginning, but the closer I get to the birth of my babies, the more clear it becomes that I want to focus solely on motherhood. – Jessica Esfandiary   7:32 I am a relationship junkie, and I know that the relationship that I have with my son and daughter will be the most important. – Jessica Esfandiary   9:03 Open Late podcast is actually not going away. I'm just going to hibernate in these days with my breast pump and breastfeeding two babies at once. – Jessica Esfandiary   10:44 Because as I've mentioned here many times, Pasha and I do not plan on closing our relationship. We both have previous partners that are still friends in our lives, that still come in and out of our lives, and something were to happen, I want you all to be the first to know about it. – Jessica Esfandiary   13:49 Thank you for understanding that this is such a major life shift for me and I want to be as present as possible for it. You know, this podcast, it really changed me. – Jessica Esfandiary 14:19 So thank you, for helping me own my choices as a woman and the way that I love publicly. – Jessica Esfandiary 14:36 I've had to grow as a woman owning who I am, owning my sexuality and owning my non-monogamy publicly has been one of the greatest gifts of my life, and it's really helped shape who I am and shape how I see the world and more than anything, I feel complete in this part of the journey. – Jessica Esfandiary Take advantage of a 30% discount on Dr. Zhana's eligible courses with code "JESSICA", applied to the first payment only for offers with multiple payments or subscriptions. •     Open Smarter Course The product I love who support this show: • Honey Pot Lube and Massage Oil OPENLATE20 • The Oh Club OPENLATE • Desire Resorts    This is a Sabbatical Jess Production Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

In this episode of the Open Late Podcast, Jess sits down with Lolo Urbiztondo, Jess's former partner and best friend. They share recent updates on their lives, with Lolo recounting her journey of falling in love with her current partner and the profound realization of being in love. Jess reflects on the transformative changes she's experiencing as she prepares for the arrival of her babies. The episode's second part revisits the classic "Asking for a Friend" style. Jess and Lolo offer thoughtful responses to questions from their listeners, covering a range of significant themes. They explore the importance of seeking and trying therapy, the value of understanding how to date oneself, and how self-discovery plays a pivotal role in determining one's desires in a relationship. Additionally, they delve into the significance of trusting oneself and evaluating the strength of a relationship.   In this episode of Open Late, Newest Life Updates Lolo's current love story Jess's reflections on impending motherhood Importance of dating yourself first  Building strong relationships and JOMO “Joy of Missing Out”   Connect with Lolo • Instagram: @lolo_urbiztondo   Connect with Jessica: • Instagram: @journey.with.jessica | @openlatethepodcast • Website: openlatepodcast.com  • YouTube: Open Late Podcast • What's my relationship style? Take the Open Late Quiz • Join our free chat community, "Open Talks" on WhatsApp • Open Late Dictionary 2:30 I saw him and there was this energetic pull I felt. – Lolo Urbiztondo   14:13 My kids will know that we had a former relationship. It's something I will never going to hide. – Jessica Esfandiary   15:13 We will remain open, we are not closing our relationship just because we are having kids. – Jessica Esfandiary   19:01 You are in the presence with your partner, and it's important to remember not to project your past and experiences that were traumatic on to your current relationship, because when you do that you make your partner wrong for the things that happened to you in the past. – Jessica Esfandiary    21:30 There are so many things to explore, and every different kink dynamic has a full spectrum. – Jessica Esfandiary   30:27 A good relationship with promise, or a partner that is showing up and its also doing the work, keeps me motivated. But if the other person isn’t engaging, the way that you are in this healthy way than I am unmotivated. – Jessica Esfandiary 31:54 I look at it as like when you are in partnership you are in this love temple together and you are both adding in love deposits. – Lolo Urbiztondo 36:05 For me dating myself hardcore was listening to the things I always wanted to do and checking them off my list. – Lolo Urbiztondo 40:32 When you can look at everything that happens to you, even if it really sucks and hurts, as like happening for you and not to you, you start to look at life as a gift - Jessica Esfandiary 43:34 A quality person is going to create safety in your relationship whether they are with someone else as a primary or not-Jessica Esfandiary 49:18 The crazy thing about non monogamy is that it's not about this new person. A lot of people think it is “oh I have such a great connection with this new person” but the truth is new person brings out a side of you that you love that you haven't experienced in awhile. – Jessica Esfandiary   50:00 We live in a society and a culture that is geared towards monogamy where people think that this is the norm and so it's really hard for people to break out the box. – Jessica Esfandiary Take advantage of a 30% discount on Dr. Zhana's eligible courses with code "JESSICA", applied to the first payment only for offers with multiple payments or subscriptions. •     Open Smarter Course The product I love who support this show: • Honey Pot Lube and Massage Oil OPENLATE20 • The Oh Club OPENLATE • Desire Resorts    This is a Sabbatical Jess Production Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

In this episode of the Open Late Podcast, Jess connects with Drea Renee, a close friend of Jessica's and an expert specializing in love and dependency. Sobriety takes the spotlight as they explore Drea's personal journey and her realization of a love addiction problem. They delve into the significance of S.L.A.A. (Sex and Love Addicts Anonymous) in addressing dependency issues within relationships. Drea shares insights into the support and tools provided by this program. As the conversation unfolds, they address the challenge of losing one's identity within a partnership, the innate longing for love, and the pursuit of authentic love acceptance. Non-monogamy becomes a thought-provoking subject, with discussions revolving around its potential impact on love addiction. Drea provides valuable guidance for those who suspect they might be struggling with partner addiction, and offer practical steps and insights to help individuals navigate these challenging emotions. In this Episode of Open Late: From sobriety to love addiction Sex and Love Addicts Anonymous  Understanding your addiction Challenges of losing one's identity in a relationship Consideration of non-monogamy's impact on love addiction Mentioned in the Episode: • Podcast: Your Partner is NOT your superhero • Podcast: How to Recognize Codependency in Your Relationship • SLAA quiz: The 40 Questions for Self-Diagnosis Connect with Drea Renee: • Instagram: @thedrearenee Connect with Jessica: • Instagram: @journey.with.jessica | @openlatethepodcast • Website: openlatepodcast.com  • YouTube: Open Late Podcast • What's my relationship style? Take the Open Late Quiz • Join our free chat community, "Open Talks" on WhatsApp • Open Late Dictionary 1:30 Love addiction it's like any other addiction, if you have an alcohol addiction, gambling, food, when that becomes all consuming, it becomes your entire life. - Drea Renee 3:08 When I got sober, its like with any addiction, it doesn't change your wiring. You just stop doing one thing and that laser focus goes to something else. - Drea Renee 5:21 I wanted to be with him so badly that I was like “I'm just going to be a part of you”. Whatever you want me to be, I'll be, so I can get you to love me. - Drea Renee 6:44 My parents divorced when I was seven and my mum had me really, really young. So it's like kids growing up with kids, not really knowing how to emotionally evolve and other things the proper way. - Drea Renee 7:54 Awareness is one thing,but you must put into practice completely new ways of being. - Jessica Esfandiary 13:07 You're addicted to the chemistry in your body. That adrenaline, dopamine. Everything that happens when you're in fight or flight, when you feel like you have the thing that you want. And if you don't have the thing that you want, you're going to die. - Jessica Esfandiary 17:00 Sometimes I wish you could just get somebody a flashcard. Like these are my strengths, these are my weaknesses. Just take a look. And if you don't want to, give it back. - Drea Renee 18:30 The relationship that you have for the first two years is something entirely different, it is its own beast. And you will never have it again. - Jessica Esfandiary 20:17 In some ways with like dating apps, everything is so deliverable and so fast that it makes it challenging to take your time. - Jessica Esfandiary 23:49 Your partner is not your superhero. - Jessica Esfandiary 31:49 Being in a room with a lot of other people that are going through the same thing was so helpful. - Drea Renee Take advantage of a 30% discount on Dr. Zhana's eligible courses with code "JESSICA", applied to the first payment only for offers with multiple payments or subscriptions. • Open Smarter Course The product I love who support this show: • Honey Pot Lube and Massage Oil OPENLATE20 • The Oh Club OPENLATE • Desire Resorts  This is a Sabbatical Jess Production Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

In this Bonus episode of the Open Late Podcast, Jess continues her conversation with Robbie Garippo, a close friend of Jessica and Pasha. This episode delves into an intriguing array of topics that touch upon the intricacies of human intimacy and connection. First, they embark on a candid discussion about the frequency of masturbation, seeking to strike a balance that fosters both physical well-being and emotional health. Then they take a deeper turn into the multifaceted world of orgasms and explore the fascinating interplay between the mind and body in the experience of these intense moments of pleasure and release. In this Episode of Open Late: Healthy frequency of masturbating Orgasms through the brain and body Biological Life force Starting a book club Mentioned in the Episode: • Book: The Way of the Superior Man by David Deida Connect with Robbie Garippo: • Instagram: @robbefrancesco Connect with Jessica: • Instagram: @journey.with.jessica | @openlatethepodcast • Website: openlatepodcast.com  • YouTube: Open Late Podcast • What's my relationship style? Take the Open Late Quiz • Join our free chat community, "Open Talks" on WhatsApp • Open Late Dictionary 1:36 To have orgasms through the brain and body actually lead to a greater, more fulfilling, passionate relationship with your lover in the world. - Robbie Garippo 2:30 Essentially for men when you ejaculate you're basically giving in to your lower level passions. - Robbie Garippo 3:10 When you give in to those primal instincts so easily. It kind of echoes how you are, how you'll be in your life, in relationships. - Robbie Garippo 5:15 There's a buildup of tension in the release of tension. And so if you can take that tension instead of just releasing it, take it really high and circulate it, then you really start to tap into a true power. - Robbie Garippo 6:00 People resist high amounts of pleasure. - Jessica Esfandiary Take advantage of a 30% discount on Dr. Zhana's eligible courses with code "JESSICA", applied to the first payment only for offers with multiple payments or subscriptions. • Open Smarter Course The product I love who support this show: • Honey Pot Lube and Massage Oil OPENLATE20 • The Oh Club OPENLATE • Desire Resorts  This is a Sabbatical Jess Production Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

In this episode of the Open Late Podcast, Jess sits down with Robbie Garippo, a close friend of Jessica and Pasha, who has been part of their team and family for many years. They touch on the significance of therapy and how it has played a vital role in their lives. Robbie opens up about a hard breakup he endured, shedding light on the transformative impact it had on his personal growth. They delve into the realm of traumatic childhood experiences, exploring the complexities of giving and receiving love. They explore the dynamics of relationships, drawing a distinction between short-term casual encounters and long-term committed partnerships. They also talk about the concept of masculine and feminine energies within our bodies, as they reflect on the importance of understanding and balancing these aspects of ourselves. In this Episode of Open Late: The importance of therapy A transformative experience after a challenging breakup Unhealthy relationship with receiving love  Exploring masculine and feminine body energies An attractive and safe way to take charge Mentioned in the Episode: • Book: The Way of the Superior Man by David Deida Connect with Robbie Garippo: • Instagram: @robbefrancesco Connect with Jessica: • Instagram: @journey.with.jessica | @openlatethepodcast • Website: openlatepodcast.com  • YouTube: Open Late Podcast • What's my relationship style? Take the Open Late Quiz • Join our free chat community, "Open Talks" on WhatsApp • Open Late Dictionary 2:51 I'm a guy that wants the most out of life. Just wants to be happy, constantly working on myself. I'm a work in progress. - Robbie Garippo 6:05 Going through a breakup really made me look inward. I had no idea issues with my father, issues with my mother, and which was leading to issues in my every relationship in my life. - Robbie Garippo 10:07 Our bodies truly store anything that happens to you that is traumatic or that is unsettling, especially as a child, because you don't really have the proper tools to deal with it, or you've been taught that you can't express emotion. - Jessica Esfandiary 14:49 There's only so much that the body can also relearn or integrate in that moment. The brain needs time the same way that like as people, we can be active or resting and we actually need both and the rest is just as valuable because it's the integration. - Jessica Esfandiary 19:42 I can't really truly give my gift to my woman or the world unless I'm really standing in my divine masculinity. - Robbie Garippo 25:23 I'm finding it very empowering to myself because I'm stepping into these relationships fully, authentically me and unapologetically me and not like thinking about them, but I'm really thinking about me. And I've never done that before - Robbie Garippo 26:42 All have masculine and feminine inside of us and we can all play to those different energies, like I can embody a lot of my masculine side. - Jessica Esfandiary 27:28 Desire and chemistry is really the tension between polarity and like sameness. - Jessica Esfandiary 46:51 When you're frustrated, you get taken out of a very aligned, calm state and you get into an activated state where you are not your best self. And when we're speaking from that place, we're not speaking in an open hearted and clear way. We're speaking from hurt. -Jessica Esfandiary Take advantage of a 30% discount on Dr. Zhana's eligible courses with code "JESSICA", applied to the first payment only for offers with multiple payments or subscriptions. • Open Smarter Course The product I love who support this show: • Honey Pot Lube and Massage Oil OPENLATE20 • The Oh Club OPENLATE • Desire Resorts  This is a Sabbatical Jess Production Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

In this episode of the Open Late Podcast, Jess continues her conversation with Dr. Wednesday Martin, a bestselling author and renowned sexpert. Wednesday's mission is to help women feel less weird in their desires and experiences. Their discussion delves into various models of desire and arousal, the measurement of responsive desire, and the controversy surrounding the term "ethical non monogamy." The profound influence of language on our emotions and learning is another intriguing topic they explore. Wednesday Martin demystifies menopause, highlighting the contrast between its portrayal and the reality women experience. They also delve into Wednesday's book, "Untrue," which provides incredible insights into women's desires and relationships. To conclude, they share an exciting revelation about a more effective position for sexual stimulation and a deeper understanding of the complexities of desire and relationships. In this Episode of Open Late: Desire models and controversy Measuring responsive desire The impact of language on emotions and learning The reality of Menopause  Research in understanding relationships Connect with Dr. Wednesday Martin: • Instagram: @wednesdaymartinphd • Website: http://wednesdaymartin.com • Book: “UNTRUE” http://wednesdaymartin.com/books/untrue/  Connect with Jessica: • Instagram: @journey.with.jessica | @openlatethepodcast • Website: openlatepodcast.com  • YouTube: Open Late Podcast • What's my relationship style? Take the Open Late Quiz • Join our free chat community, "Open Talks" on WhatsApp • Open Late Dictionary 2:12 We had one model of sexual desire and it was a linear model and it went from arousal to desire to orgasm in a straight line. But we learned that desire is more complicated for both men and women than we thought it was, That it's not just a linear process. - Dr. Wednesday Martin 7:32 I thought, I have a big sexual appetite. And then I learn that that's normal and also to be reminded that the misinformation that we share is so damaging and disempowering not just to women, but to everyone. - Jessica Esfandiary 7:04 It's so empowering as a woman to learn that having a big sexual appetite is normal - Jessica Esfandiary 8:40 You and I are very fortunate. We're not more ethical than other people. We're fucking lucky that we live in a culture where we can say, “Listen, monogamy is not working for me, it's working for us. let's do something about this” and we won't get killed for it. Not every woman is so lucky. - Dr. Wednesday Martin 11:25 A lot of practitioners, especially men of what they call ethical non-monogamy, have been socialized away from communication and they have been socialized away from talking about feelings and being. - Dr. Wednesday Martin 27:51 One of my biggest agenda is to help women feel less weird about who they are with science and data. It's one thing if you say to a woman, Oh, no, no, honey, it's okay. If you want to be non-monogamous, that's normal. It's another thing if you back it up with 250 studies in peer review or peer journals, about the social and sexual behavior of non-human primates. - Dr. Wednesday Martin Take advantage of a 30% discount on Dr. Zhana's eligible courses with code "JESSICA", applied to the first payment only for offers with multiple payments or subscriptions. • Open Smarter Course The product I love who support this show: • Honey Pot Lube and Massage Oil OPENLATE20 • The Oh Club OPENLATE • Desire Resorts  This is a Sabbatical Jess Production Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

In this episode of the Open Late Podcast, Jess connects with Dr. Wednesday Martin, a New York Times bestselling author and renowned sexpert known for her work on parenting, step-parenting, female sexuality, motherhood, and popular culture. Their discussion is a deep dive into various aspects of human nature and sexuality. Wednesday introduces us to the world of bonobos, shedding light on how these primates offer insights into our own social and sexual behaviors. She also delves into the fascinating world of regression analysis, a powerful statistical tool that helps uncover patterns and insights in her research. The conversation takes a historical turn as Wednesday discusses how the advent of agriculture transformed the roles of women in societies and continues to shape gender dynamics today. They also explore female anatomy and the concept of the "girl boner," highlighting the complexity of female sexual pleasure and arousal. In this Episode of Open Late: Human nature and sexuality Regression analysis Dominant female species and evolution to experience pleasure The impact of agriculture on women's roles and gender dynamics Female anatomy and the "girl boner" Connect with Dr. Wednesday Martin: • Instagram: @wednesdaymartinphd • Website: http://wednesdaymartin.com • Book: “UNTRUE” http://wednesdaymartin.com/books/untrue/  Connect with Jessica: • Instagram: @journey.with.jessica | @openlatethepodcast • Website: openlatepodcast.com  • YouTube: Open Late Podcast • What's my relationship style? Take the Open Late Quiz • Join our free chat community, "Open Talks" on WhatsApp • Open Late Dictionary 7:23 The means of production shifting from either at-home agriculture, stick and poke agriculture or hunting and gathering that transition to plow culture changed our beliefs radically about who women and men are, including that men became more sexually entitled and privileged. – Dr. Wednesday Martin 12:16 After the agricultural shift, for some women who had dependent children, they were looked at if they were not bringing home the calories, if they were not bringing home the bacon, they had less power relative to men who were doing it. – Dr. Wednesday Martin 15:54 In the long arc of human evolution, inequality is a recent aberration. Women being subjugated is a recent aberration in the long arc of human equality. – Dr. Wednesday Martin 16:28 Women being subjugated is a recent aberration in the arc of human evolution. – Dr. Wednesday Martin 21:51 We are more closely related to bonobos than we are to chimps. – Dr. Wednesday Martin 22:21 We evolved from a female-dominant species where the females are remarkably promiscuous and they would rather have sex with other females than with a male, and that's how they build their social power. – Dr. Wednesday Martin 25:29 We evolved as super flexible, sexual and social strategist, that means we can thrive in a number of situations. – Dr. Wednesday Martin 25:42 Our organs and where everything is placed, how we function, and how we experience pleasure really do point to the fact that we come from a long line of society where we would have multiple sex partners. - Jessica Esfandiary 37:42 A female chimp who has a very abject, dangerous life, and they get beaten by males and by other females, low-ranking female chimps. They will risk death at the hands of a dominant male who leaves their troop and goes wandering, goes out there, finds a male who is a stranger, and copulates with him. – Dr. Wednesday Martin Take advantage of a 30% discount on Dr. Zhana's eligible courses with code "JESSICA", applied to the first payment only for offers with multiple payments or subscriptions. • Open Smarter Course The product I love who support this show: • Honey Pot Lube and Massage Oil OPENLATE20 • The Oh Club OPENLATE • Desire Resorts  This is a Sabbatical Jess Production Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

In this episode of the Open Late Podcast, Jess connects with Angelika Alana Drake, a guide to relational and erotic intelligence. Their discussion revolves around daily practices of inner self-devotion and their impact on inner energetic levels. Angelika delves into how we perceive sex and the types of attachments we form. She explains that as we reach certain levels of understanding, we can approach sex in more emotionally connected ways. Angelika also explores how sex can facilitate healing from sexual trauma and the concept of sexual self-actualization. The conversation touches upon the idea of erotic innocence and how our fears influence our parenting. They also delve into the significance of committing to intimacy and the importance of prioritizing sex within relationships. In this Episode of Open Late: Daily Devotion and Unlocking Your Inner Mastery Healing Through Sexual Self-Actualization Exploring Erotic Innocence Prioritizing sex and a Commitment to Intimacy  Finding power and Unleashing Female Strength without risk Connect with Angelika Alana Drake: • Instagram: @angelikaalana • Website: https://www.angelikaalana.com/ • Podcast:Awakened Love: https://www.podpage.com/awakened-love/ Connect with Jessica: • Instagram: @journey.with.jessica | @openlatethepodcast • Website: openlatepodcast.com  • YouTube: Open Late Podcast • What's my relationship style? Take the Open Late Quiz • Join our free chat community, "Open Talks" on WhatsApp • Open Late Dictionary 1:41  I just felt like you had this calmness to you, this centeredness that nothing could really throw you off. - Jessica Esfandiary   4:21 I really do believe that every single human is capable of actualizing their fullest energetic potential through devotion to practice. -Angelika Drake   5:12 We have the fundamental basic physical needs for safety and security, and then we move into emotional needs and then a sense of belonging and significance. Then we move up, up, up until we get to that tip of the triangle, which is self-actualization. - Angelika Drake 11:36 It's interesting to look at sex in a strategic way, the same way we would a devotional spiritual practice. It's the business of health. - Jessica Esfandiary 19:30 If a kid is masturbating in public, we do want to give them social programming, that isn't what we do. It's not a safe or appropriate thing to do, but without shaming them, that act itself or that they themselves are somehow wrong or bad. Being able to talk about safe spaces and safety and that you can touch anywhere on your own body, but no one else should touch your body, And if an adult ever touches your body, you come to me and you can tell me and you will never get in trouble. - Angelika Drake   23:00 Purity is a trap. Purity is not just all good and all light. Purity is wholeness and wholeness includes and transcends to get to pure light. We include all colors, all experiences in the whole - That's wholeness. It's an inclusion and a sense of connection. But in order to be connected to these parts of ourselves, they have to be in our conscious awareness. - Angelika Drake 35:18 We live in a society where our bodies are the problem. Women as they're starting to develop, it's like, oh, that we have to cover that up. Pull your skirt down and don't touch it. And it's going to cause a problem and it's going to get you hurt. -Jessica Esfandiary Take advantage of a 30% discount on Dr. Zhana's eligible courses with code "JESSICA", applied to the first payment only for offers with multiple payments or subscriptions. • Open Smarter Course The product I love who support this show: • Honey Pot Lube and Massage Oil OPENLATE20 • The Oh Club OPENLATE • Desire Resorts  This is a Sabbatical Jess Production Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

In this episode, Jess talks to you in another Solo Episode. She answers the listeners' questions from the public Q&A she shared on her social media. She explains the importance of getting feedback and what makes the show improve. Likewise, she talks about how her background in the entertainment industry helped her build her self-confidence, leading to her ability to speak publicly about her open relationship.  In this episode of Open Late: • Importance of getting feedback • Love for acting and building your self-confidence • New relationship energy and knowing your balance  • Fear of telling your closed group friend and how to approach it • Need for a community that understands and the ability to say no Connect with Jessica: • Instagram: @journey.with.jessica | @openlatethepodcast • Website: openlatepodcast.com  • YouTube: Open Late Podcast • What's my relationship style? Take the Open Late Quiz • Join our free chat community, "Open Talks" on WhatsApp • Open Late Dictionary •Asking for a friend (AFAF) Question Form  3:37: Not many people on the planet have the same safety and security situation. - Jessica Esfandiary. 3:54: My livelihood is not at stake if somebody finds out I am in a polyamorous marriage. - Jessica Esfandiary. 5:36: Acting was the love of my life before I met my husband. - Jessica Esfandiary. 8:17: Anything that feels addicting and intoxicating, you want to moderate a little bit. - Jessica Esfandiary. 10:42: If we don't have the right serotonin balance, we might forget to do things like feeding ourselves or going to the gym. So think about your own health and well-being first. - Jessica Esfandiary. 11:06: The moment you sacrifice your own practice and routine is when you get out of balance. - Jessica Esfandiary. 13:50: Until we have more visibility and representation in media, culture, and educational settings about relationships, it will continue to be feared and seen as something that won't work. - Jessica Esfandiary. 17:51: Having conversations that feel uncomfortable can be valuable as they create more intimacy. - Jessica Esfandiary. 20:42: This evolution is constantly churning, much like a snake that sheds its skin and is reborn. - Jessica Esfandiary. 21:58: I didn't have much sexual confidence before meeting my husband. In fact, I allowed men to choose me. I started relationships with people who wanted to hook up with me, and then I would try to make them my boyfriend. - Jessica Esfandiary. 22:31: Maybe once or twice, I was bold enough to say, "I want to hook up with that guy," and I actually went and did it. - Jessica Esfandiary. 28:14: Sometimes, mismatched desires can be a deal-breaker. - Jessica Esfandiary. Take advantage of a 30% discount on Dr. Zhana's eligible courses with code "JESSICA", applied to the first payment only for offers with multiple payments or subscriptions. • Open Smarter Course The product I love who support this show: • Honey Pot Lube and Massage Oil OPENLATE20 • The Oh Club OPENLATE • Desire Resorts  This is a Sabbatical Jess Production Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

In this episode of the Open Late Podcast, Jessica reconnects again with Shelby Terrell, an intimacy coordinator and current MSW Candidate, on the path of becoming a sex and relationship therapist. They explore the experiences of growing up as Mormons and the challenges of reconciling their personal beliefs with the faith. They candidly discuss the shame associated with sexuality, particularly masturbation, and how it affected their self-perception and relationships. Likewise, they emphasize the importance of embracing vulnerability to promote healing and personal growth. Deconstructing traditional relationship norms, they share their own journeys of self-discovery and finding fulfillment outside societal expectations. Shelby opens up about her marriage coming to an end, and the episode also touches on the concept of an ideal relationship, the benefits of couples therapy and deeper understanding of vulnerability's power in breaking down barriers and cultivating meaningful connections. In this Episode of Open Late: the Experience of Growing Up as a Mormon The Nuances of Self-Gratification and difference between private vs shameful Deconstructing Conventional Relationship Ideals Embracing Self-Discovery and Sexual Fulfillment Exploring the Realm of Kinky and BDSM Previous Episode with Shelby: On-Screen Intimacy Coordinator Shelby Terrell: Open Late Episode 85 Connect with Shelby Terrell: • Instagram: @theshelbyterrell Connect with Jessica: • Instagram: @journey.with.jessica | @openlatethepodcast • Website: openlatepodcast.com • YouTube: Open Late Podcast • What's my relationship style? Take the Open Late Quiz • Join our free chat community, "Open Talks" on WhatsApp • Open Late Dictionary 2:30 A lot of the public school policies, such as dress codes and the cultural environment of the schools, were based on Mormon protocols, ethics, and values. There was a lot of shame and judgment and guilt placed on it because as a socialized female woman growing up in Utah, my job is to be a partner and procreate. - Shelby Terrell 8:50 People who grew up in a purity culture often find that shame manifests itself in various ways. For some, it's a struggle, while for others, it leads to acting out. - Jessica Esfandiary 9:37 I was using the guise of privacy, what I thought were private matters. In reality, I was being secretive and carrying a sense of shame. I convinced myself that labeling something as private would justify it, but upon reflection, I realized it was driven by my feelings of shame. - Shelby Terrell 25:09 We had a threesome, and it was really wonderful and great. And then afterwards I was immediately like “We can't tell anyone”.When they asked why, I responded, 'This is my private life.' It was at this point that the distinction between shame and privacy became evident, and I realized the impact of my sexual trauma from growing up Mormon was resurfacing. - Shelby Terrell 36:14 With the ongoing revolution of sexual expression, positivity, education, and the exploration of non-monogamy and polyamory, one can hope for a positive impact rippling through those who are curious but may have been hesitant due to their more traditional inclinations. As a result, relationships in general could potentially become significantly healthier. - Jessica Esfandiary Take advantage of a 30% discount on Dr. Zhana's eligible courses with code "JESSICA", applied to the first payment only for offers with multiple payments or subscriptions. • Open Smarter Course The product I love who support this show: • Honey Pot Lube and Massage Oil OPENLATE20 • The Oh Club OPENLATE • Desire Resorts This is a Sabbatical Jess Production Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

In this episode of the Open Late Podcast, Jess connects with Joe and Reese, hosts of the Poly By Nature podcast. They discuss their transition from monogamy to polyamory and why it was important in order to keep their relationship organic. They delve into the natural flaws experienced by newly opened couples and share insights on raising kids in an open relationship. Joe and Reese open up about introducing polyamory to their teenage children and how being open enhances communication and personal growth. By embracing this lifestyle, Joe, Reese, and Jess highlight how it has positively impacted their lives and reshaped their perspectives on love and relationships. The discussion extends to preparing their children for future relationships with an open mind and a non-judgmental attitude. Lastly, they reveal their exciting plans for the near future with the podcast. In this Episode of Open Late: From infidelity to polyamory Navigating freshly open relationship Introducing polyamory to teenage kids Openness enhances communication and growth Exciting plans for the future Connect with Poly By Nature: • Instagram: @polybynaturepodcast • Podcast: Poly By Nature Podcast • Website: https://www.polybynature.com/ Connect with Jessica: • Instagram: @journey.with.jessica | @openlatethepodcast • Website: openlatepodcast.com • YouTube: Open Late Podcast • What's my relationship style? Take the Open Late Quiz • Join our free chat community, "Open Talks" on WhatsApp • Open Late Dictionary 5:10 Monogamy was like, you know, you get together, you commit to each other and say, I'm only being with you. You have a couple of kids and you just live life happily ever after. And our happily ever after wasn't coming fast enough for me. Joe 11:30 We started with me thinking that I had to find someone that fit both of us immediately and fast. Like I need to go out and find a friend that makes sense for both of us. And she's got to be just as cool as Reese. Joe 19:19 In the beginning of my poly journey, I thought it was geared towards sex. When I first looked it up, it was super glorified into a sexual connotation. But the whole world, when you start to talk about social media in the presence of what poly shows, it shows itself on a very sexual level. Joe 21:08 Entertainment and media sensationalize and over sexualize everything. And that clears the picture on why for so many people a sexual relationship may be the only way that they see to intimacy. I don't think we grow up with a lot of role models of healthy intimacy, healthy relationships that might be platonic polyamory or whatever it is. - Jessica Esfandiary 28:45 I want my children to know and to learn. I don’t think they will be poly, but I think that in the day, at least they'll be able to walk into relationships, monogamous or poly with an open mind and just simply says, okay, here's my boundaries, here's what I want from this relationship, here's how I want to grow from it, and here's what I can give you and be fine with that. Joe 34:17 Hey, this is a relationship that you're having. That's yours. You know, I can listen to some of it, but some of it is private between you two. And keep those two things private because, you know, she may not want me to know some of these things, not in the bad way, but more in a respectful way of, you know, relationships separations at that point. Joe 36:08 So many women are conditioned to believe that sexual intimacy and exclusivity should be really important to them because it's like what society teaches us. Jessica Esfandiary Take advantage of a 30% discount on Dr. Zhana's eligible courses with code "JESSICA", applied to the first payment only for offers with multiple payments or subscriptions. • Open Smarter Course The product I love who support this show: • Honey Pot Lube and Massage Oil OPENLATE20 • The Oh Club OPENLATE • Desire Resorts This is a Sabbatical Jess Production Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

We’re back again with Alexys part 2 in Asking For A Friend! The girls continue the conversation by talking about jealousy and how your partner flirting with a different person does not immediately mean attraction. Alexys opens up owning a small business, the mental struggles that come with it, and why she decided to go part-time. Alexys asks Jess raw questions about her upcoming "stepping into motherhood" and why people connect Polyamory with "white people shit". In this episode of Open Late: • Understanding the truth about flirting  • Owning a small business and "monetizing" your passions • Stepping into Motherhood and having hard conversations with your kids • "White people shit" and different cultural views on Polyamory Connect with Alexys: • Instagram: @cakesbyalexys Cynthia's Nixon viral “Be a Lady They Said” Video: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=z8ZSDS7zVdU Connect with Jessica: • Instagram: @journey.with.jessica | @openlatethepodcast • Website: openlatepodcast.com  • YouTube: Open Late Podcast • What's my relationship style? Take the Open Late Quiz • Join our free chat community, "Open Talks" on WhatsApp • Open Late Dictionary 3:15 Emotional intelligence, just from my end, shows up in a way that is authentic. - Alexys Calhoun 4:02 After an argument with my partner, I had to tell him “You don't always have to fix it. I just didn't like your tone”. - Alexys Calhoun 5:12 We oversexualize everything in this country. – Jessica Esfandiary 17:03 Women are more coded. Like we are afraid to reveal ourselves. – Jessica Esfandiary 18:15 I’m a direct person, which is apparently not okay when you have a vagina. - Alexys Calhoun 22:50 You don't have to monetize your passion. - Alexys Calhoun 25:38 It is great when a woman can take something and catapult into a new realm. – Jessica Esfandiary  26:53 And if you don't want to show it. That's okay too. - Alexys Calhoun 29:25 If your only argument is that "it's not okay for the kids", then you are probably not a good parent because you cannot have those open dialogues with your kids. - Alexys Calhoun 32:58 If you look at the nuclear family, you are just seeing people that are way under-resourced, barely surviving. - Jessica Esfandiary Take advantage of a 30% discount on Dr. Zhana's eligible courses with code "JESSICA", applied to the first payment only for offers with multiple payments or subscriptions. • Open Smarter Course The product I love who support this show: • Honey Pot Lube and Massage Oil OPENLATE20 • The Oh Club OPENLATE • Desire Resorts  This is a Sabbatical Jess Production Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Get ready for a heart-to-heart chat that will make you feel like you just hung out with your two best girlfriends! In this episode of our new series, ASKING FOR A FRIEND, Jess sits down with Alexys Calhoun. Alexys is her former personal assistant, a long-time friend, and owner of CakesByAlexys. The girls go into the importance of women celebrating other women and how understanding yourself can help you raise your standards. They also look at the principles of non-monogamy and how people's perception of you changes when they find out you are open. In this episode of Open Late: • Celebrating other women and raising your standards • Group "Mom" energy  • How to balance sobriety and going out • Principles of non-monogamy and other’s misinformed perceptions of CNM Connect with Alexys: • Instagram: @cakesbyalexys Connect with Jessica: • Instagram: @journey.with.jessica | @openlatethepodcast • Website: openlatepodcast.com  • YouTube: Open Late Podcast • What's my relationship style? Take the Open Late Quiz • Join our free chat community, "Open Talks" on WhatsApp • Open Late Dictionary   5:59 You helped me step into my hot girl era before I even knew it was happening. - Jessica Esfandiary 8:29 Don't be too big, don't overshadow anybody. Growing up in a society that was like don't take up too much space, embracing sexuality was taboo. - Jessica Esfandiary 9:36 This is the year of cringe, and we are going to embrace it.- Alexys Calhoun 14:29 I am enough on my own, and there is no competition. - Jessica Esfandiary 15:31 I want more for everybody. Like I hope in 10 years, women are like, "You put that woman down?; we don't do that anymore!" - Alexys Calhoun 19:04 I take naked photos with the idea it's art, not sex. - Jessica Esfandiary 20:09 I would just look in the mirror and tell myself I am beautiful even though I didn't think it for the longest time. - Alexys Calhoun 21:25 For a long time, I thought I had to be a role model. - Jessica Esfandiary 24:09 These days, I’m taking a step back and trying to be an ear to somebody rather than giving them my opinion. - Alexys Calhoun 31:28 Non-Monogamy is great, but some people can find it weird. And I am like, "It's weird for you; it's not weird for them." - Alexys Calhoun 33:39 Not “letting” your partner do something stems from the belief that you own your partner. - Jessica Esfandiary 35:10 Keeping constantly away your desires and attraction from your partner will erode your own confidence, self-esteem and your relationship. - Jessica Esfandiary 39:05 If you really love somebody and you want to hold them to their greatness, let them decide how they wanna handle the information. - Jessica Esfandiary  Take advantage of a 30% discount on Dr. Zhana's eligible courses with code "JESSICA", applied to the first payment only for offers with multiple payments or subscriptions. • Open Smarter Course The product I love who support this show: • Honey Pot Lube and Massage Oil OPENLATE20 • The Oh Club OPENLATE • Desire Resorts  This is a Sabbatical Jess Production Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

In this episode of the Open Late Podcast, Jess connects with Frank Smith, a queer writer and actor known for his work on the show "Open To It." Throughout their conversation, they delve into the origins of the show, discussing how it all began and the challenges they had to face along the way. As the discussion progresses, Jess and Frank touch upon personal aspects of his life, specifically when Frank and his partner made the decision to open up about his relationship. They explore the process of creating a show "Open To It" and how they handle filming intimate scenes, shedding light on the behind-the-scenes aspects of production. They talk about how the world reacted to the show's content and the impact it had on those who were a part of Frank's life. Frank opens up about how the show may have influenced or altered his relationship in some shape or form, sharing positive outcomes that arose from it. For those interested in watching "Open To It" and keeping up with upcoming events. In this Episode of Open Late: Coming up with an idea for a show Challenges of creating a queer comedy series Behind the scenes of filming intimate scenes  Frank's “secret” proposal story “Where to watch” and upcoming events Mentioned in the Episode: Please Like me - Television Comedy Drama: Please Like Me Pleasure Podcast: Sex Talk With My Mom On-Screen Intimacy Coordinator Shelby Terrell: Open Late Episode 85 Connect with Frank Smith: • Instagram: @frank.arthur.smith • Watch Open To It: https://www.opentoitseries.com/ Connect with Jessica: • Instagram: @journey.with.jessica | @openlatethepodcast • Website: openlatepodcast.com  • YouTube: Open Late Podcast • What's my relationship style? Take the Open Late Quiz • Join our free chat community, "Open Talks" on WhatsApp • Open Late Dictionary 2:31  I did write the first episode as a short film originally and submitted to a couple of competitions, where one literally said to me, this is too gay and too gross. I was like, okay, well, you know what? My show is too gay, and is too gross. And this is exactly what I'm going to do right now. – Frank Smith 4:52  a lot of times the way that we would communicate it or, you know, whether you're writing it or sharing your vision, you know, or even like putting together a whole storyboard, sometimes it's just not going to come to life for someone else, or it does in a way that's through their filter, through their lens. – Jessica Esfandiary 34:12 But I'm really proud of what we're doing. We've gotten the chance to showcase a lot of different types of people. We just had like in episode eight, we have a love interest and had a deaf director and an ASL interpreting crew, so I'm just really pleased with how we keep getting to showcase more and more people that are part of it. – Frank Smith 39:16 I just love hearing about these things when people who live sort of outside the box, being poly or whatever, being non-monogamous, coloring outside the lines all the time when you do something that's traditional. – Jessica Esfandiary Take advantage of a 30% discount on Dr. Zhana's eligible courses with code "JESSICA", applied to the first payment only for offers with multiple payments or subscriptions. • Open Smarter Course The product I love who support this show: • Honey Pot Lube and Massage Oil OPENLATE20 • The Oh Club OPENLATE • Desire Resorts  This is a Sabbatical Jess Production Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

In this special episode of the Open Late Podcast, celebrating her 9-year anniversary, Jess recounts the heartwarming story of how she woke up that morning, and unexpectedly found herself in a surprise wedding, making her a married woman by the end of the day. She takes us back to the beginning of her relationship with Pasha, admitting that she initially thought he might only be a rebound after her last breakup. She also shares the touching moment when Pasha surprised her with a proposal, followed shortly after by an intimate and magical surprise wedding surrounded by their closest friends. She reflects 10 years back, and wonders what her response would have been if someone had asked her whether she believed she would be in an open, polyamorous relationship today. In this Episode of Open Late: Surprise proposal on Anniversary The beginnings of Jess and Pasha Unexpected but perfect Wedding  Reflects on open relationship possibility Mentioned in the Episode: Pregnancy. Changes. Everything Connect with Jessica: • Instagram: @journey.with.jessica | @openlatethepodcast • Website: openlatepodcast.com • Youtube: Open Late Podcast • What's my relationship style? Take the Open Late Quiz • Join our free chat community, "Open Talks" on WhatsApp • Open Late Dictionary 1:47 The day that I woke up, the day that I got married. - Jessica Esfandiary 3:21 I had just gotten out of a three and a half year relationship that was really toxic, that was very limiting. It was stunting for my growth or my expression, for my sexuality. I just wanted fun and I probably wanted a little bit of danger, too, to be honest. And so he was ripe for the picking. - Jessica Esfandiary 3:45 We had a mutual friend that introduced us, and she actually forbade us from dating. So, I mean, that made the whole thing even hotter. - Jessica Esfandiary 7:08 I remember we had bought this journal and we decided that we would write to each other on our anniversary every year, and it was going to be a gift to each other back and forth. And we would do it for the whole time that we were together for the rest of our lives, apparently. I didn't know that. - Jessica Esfandiary 8:08 He proposes with this beautiful band and I instead say. Yes, there's like not a bone in my body that's confused about wanting to spend my life with this man. - Jessica Esfandiary 8:19 When we did decide to be together, it was like, this is my life partner. And that first year of our relationship was easy, breezy, beautiful, blissful. And you know, relationships don't last that way forever, especially long term committed ones. But that first year was incredible. - Jessica Esfandiary 18:12 When we officially started to date and there was exclusivity in our relationship. I knew that I would easily spend my life with this man and that he was the most driven and the most committed to his own growth. And that's what I was really looking for in a partner. And I didn't want to settle for less than crazy and love, which I was with him. - Jessica Esfandiary 19:13 If you asked me the night of my wedding, like, do you think that your relationship is open or do you think you're going to open it or do you think you'll be polyamorous? I didn't even know what polyamory was, so the answer would be no. - Jessica Esfandiary 20:29 That is the story of how I had a surprise wedding and I went to bed a married woman on a day that I woke up and I wasn't even engaged. So if you want to know who's the most confident man in the world and also who's the most spot on in the world, it's Pasha. - Jessica Esfandiary Take advantage of a 30% discount on Dr. Zhana's eligible courses with code "JESSICA", applied to the first payment only for offers with multiple payments or subscriptions. • Open Smarter Course The product I love who support this show: • Honey Pot Lube and Massage Oil OPENLATE20 • The Oh Club OPENLATE • Desire Resorts  This is a Sabbatical Jess Production Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

In this episode of the Open Late Podcast, Jess continues her conversation with Irene Morning, the author of "The Polyamory Paradox." They delve into the topic of contemplating polyamory while understanding our personal triggers and its impact. Additionally, they discuss the importance of comprehending our partners' perspectives and avoiding pressuring them into “closing back the relationship”. Instead, encouraging open communication to address any issues that arise. They explore the concept of unsolvable problems that may arise in polyamorous relationships, as well as the feelings of isolation. They also explore the process of finding and building communities with like-minded individuals. In this Episode of Open Late: Understanding your triggers The unsolvable problems of relationship Control vs. Containment Sex positive spaces and people's perception Finding and building up like-minded communities Connect with Irene Morning: • Instagram: @irene_morning • Book: The Polyamory Paradox • Website: https://www.irenemorning.com/ Connect with Jessica: • Instagram: @journey.with.jessica | @openlatethepodcast • Website: openlatepodcast.com • Youtube: Open Late Podcast • What's my relationship style? Take the Open Late Quiz • Join our free chat community, "Open Talks" on WhatsApp • Open Late Dictionary 2:05 Particularly from people who know that they have some amount of trauma in their history, who identify with a complex PTSD diagnosis or know that mental health has been a struggle for them of thinking I really love some of the concepts in polyamory and I love the things that I've read about it, but I'm so afraid that for me it's untenable because I'll just get too triggered. – Irene Morning 14:20 It makes me think about the monogamous relationships actually that I'm seeing transform based on some of these principles of non-monogamy that will never likely be non-monogamous, never open, but are using the tools of, like you know, seeing yourself as a whole person, being your partner as a whole person, and not expecting them to fill all your needs. – Jessica Esfandiary   15:00 I just love the idea that people will begin to use pleasure and intimacy and vulnerability and authenticity in ways that can open their relationship, just maybe not to other lovers, but just open their relationships, period, because that's like going to be such a beautiful world, probably totally like I'll be, you know, around for completely. – Jessica Esfandiary 31:41 What I need is more community around this. So can I give myself permission to actually just own that in some of these interactions and start to differentiate that out? I mean, it brings me back to the question of the beginning of like people anchoring into their why. I sometimes think as we evolve in this, we realize that our why for when we first start getting into non-monogamy is sometimes actually feeling like, okay, more relationships can fill this need for community that I didn't even realize was a need. – Irene Morning Take advantage of a 30% discount on Dr. Zhana's eligible courses with code "JESSICA", applied to the first payment only for offers with multiple payments or subscriptions. • Open Smarter Course The product I love who support this show: • Honey Pot Lube and Massage Oil OPENLATE20 • The Oh Club OPENLATE • Desire Resorts  This is a Sabbatical Jess Production Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

In this episode of Open Late Podcast, Jess again engages in an enlightening conversation with Irene Morning, a somatic coach, pleasure witch, intimacy educator, and the talented author behind "The Polyamory Paradox." Together, they talk deep into the world of Irene's creative process, unraveling the journey of how the book came to life. Irene's unique perspective and expertise shine through as she shares her insights on navigating polyamory and the intricacies of human emotions. Jessica openly shares her own personal experiences and the impact of both Irene's book and Irene on her journey. She highlights how the book has served as a roadmap, providing guidance and understanding in navigating polyamory and emotions. In this Episode of Open Late: Creative process of writing How our emotions affect our thinking The battle of Control vs. Containment Personal impact of the book Exploring "The Window of Tolerance" Episode 56 mentioned in the episode: Mind, Body and Non-monogamy Connect with Irene Morning: • Instagram: @irene_morning • Book: The Polyamory Paradox • Website: https://www.irenemorning.com/ Connect with Jessica: • Instagram: @journey.with.jessica | @openlatethepodcast • Website: openlatepodcast.com | jessicaesfandiary.com • Youtube: Open Late Podcast • What's my relationship style? Take the Open Late Quiz • Join our free chat community, "Open Talks" on WhatsApp • Open Late Dictionary 2:29 This is one of the most comprehend things, if not the most complete book to take you from the beginning, experiences through being able to live this way with as many tools as possible for any type of for any type of open relationship. - Jessica Esfandiary 4:04 I hope that the therapy scene is changing a little bit in corners of the therapy world. But I think that is one of the things where coaching gets to operate differently, where I don't necessarily have the same concerns professionally about self-disclosure, where I can tell my story more openly and not worry that that's going to interfere with my practice, but that actually it really supports my client. - Irene Morning 26:23 If you're going through a really challenging experience in non-monogamy and you're finding yourself really struggling in a big way and triggered in a way that interferes with doing work or maintaining relationships or having healthy sleep or getting proper nutrition, all of these kind of like basic regulation things, you are probably operating outside your window of tolerance. - Irene Morning 36:36 70% or 80% of the recurring arguments that couples have. That conflict is not actually something that they can resolve. So the objective when we're doing conflict resolution and conflict work in a relationship is not necessarily to fix the source of that conflict, but is to look at how we can communicate about it more effectively, how can we navigate the conflict more effectively? - Irene Morning 38:53 At the end of the day, your whole purpose and I think your goal as a human, just knowing you in your work is to grow and to constantly reclaim the parts of yourself that don't feel whole. Whether you can call that inner child healing or, you know, soul. - Jessica Esfandiary Take advantage of a 30% discount on Dr. Zhana's eligible courses with code "JESSICA", applied to the first payment only for offers with multiple payments or subscriptions. • Open Smarter Course The product I love who support this show: • Honey Pot Lube and Massage Oil OPENLATE20 • The Oh Club OPENLATE • Desire Resorts  This is a Sabbatical Jess Production Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

In this episode of Open Late Podcast, Jess connects with Carolina Salazar, a certified holistic health coach and hormone specialist from the Inner Growth Podcast. Together, they explore Carolina's inspiring journey that led her to become a holistic coach. Carolina candidly shares her personal story of struggling with body image and weight due to cultural differences, leading to an unhealthy relationship with her body. She opens up about her experience with obsessive exercise and unhealthy weight loss, reaching a breaking point that prompted her to make necessary changes. The discussion delves into the concept of orthorexia and Carolina's realization of swinging to the other extreme of "healthy" living, where she found herself judging others' food choices and living an extremely food-restrictive lifestyle. They touch on the importance of accepting parents for who they are and the societal pressure on women's appearance. They emphasize the significance of seeking help when needed. In this Episode of Open Late: Holistic coaching journey Overcoming body image struggles Orthorexia and finding balance Accepting different opinions and societal pressures Acknowledging the problem and importance of Seeking support Listen to Inner Growth Episode with Jessica:  Growing from mushroom experiences and Exploring your Sexuality with Jess Esfandiary Connect with Carolina Salazar: • Instagram: @thecarolinalifestyle • Podcast: Inner Growth Podcast • Website: https://stan.store/thecarolinalifestyle Connect with Jessica: • Instagram: @journey.with.jessica | @openlatethepodcast • Website: openlatepodcast.com | jessicaesfandiary.com • Youtube: Open Late Podcast • What's my relationship style? Take the Open Late Quiz • Join our free chat community, "Open Talks" on WhatsApp • Open Late Dictionary   Quotes from this episode: 3:14  The world that we live in and all the conditions that are placed on us as women, on our bodies, on what we're supposed to look like, and how that kind of becomes our inner talk and it becomes the programming that we're fed. And then can sometimes lead to very toxic behavior. – Carolina Salazar 10:42 I think the trickiest part was the validation that I was receiving. As a society, we glorify weight loss. – Carolina Salazar 11:55 The backdrop of the conversation is about how people's weight is important to who they are and what they're worth. – Jessica Esfandiary 16:12  If you've been through a restrictive pattern or time of your life, breaking those restrictions can feel really scary. – Carolina Salazar 18:17 I started doing a big deep dive on this discomfort that I felt and the shame and the self-judgment and like how I was labeling foods as good or bad, and then feeling like there is this morality with food. And if I ate bad food, I was a bad person. – Carolina Salazar 28:56 Our emotional and energetic well-being is such a big part of our health. It's not just food and exercise, it's everything. – Carolina Salazar 29:48 I am done with letting restrictions and rules and this endless pursuit of looking a certain way or of fitting this societal standard of thinness, get in the way of my joy. – Carolina Salazar 43:31 It's not my job to change my parents' perspective because for them it's not an issue. – Jessica Esfandiary 44:36 Healing is like an onion. Layers and layers, ultimately getting to like a really strong core. – Carolina Salazar 51:28 Studies have shown that your relationship to body image and disordered eating have a big correlation to people not wanting to be intimate or have romantic partners. – Jessica Esfandiary Take advantage of a 30% discount on Dr. Zhana's eligible courses with code "JESSICA", applied to the first payment only for offers with multiple payments or subscriptions. • Open Smarter Course The product I love who support this show: • Honey Pot Lube and Massage Oil OPENLATE20 • The Oh Club OPENLATE • Desire Resorts  This is a Sabbatical Jess Production Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

In this episode of Open Late Podcast, Jess continues her conversation with Lana Shay, the author of "Erotic Hustle." Lana shares her lifestyle and mission. She details her current project of creating a “conscious” strip club, that’s more like a sensual temple where men can leave feeling empowered instead of hungover, broke, and less respect for women and themselves. Lana also reads an excerpt from her book, Erotic Hustle.  In this episode of Open Late: Lana's book and its inspiration Sobriety in the Las Vegas scene Tantric Art Exploring the concept of a Conscious Strip Club What you can find in “Erotic Hustle” Connect with Lana Shay: • Instagram: @iamlanashay • Book: Erotic Hustle: Redefining Sin through Sacred Sexuality & Psychedelics • Website: https://lanashay.com/ Connect with Jessica: • Instagram: @journey.with.jessica | @openlatethepodcast • Website: openlatepodcast.com | jessicaesfandiary.com • Youtube: Open Late Podcast • What's my relationship style? Take the Open Late Quiz • Join our free chat community, "Open Talks" on WhatsApp • Open Late Dictionary   Quote from the episode: 3:57    It was easy for me to work in the strip club while having these practices, being so dedicated to a holistic lifestyle because I saw the need, and these were the people who needed it the most. It almost excited me. – Lana Shay 5:15    I am a huge advocate for ditching alcohol, and you know everyone's drinking in a strip club. That's what you were doing, we were serving them that. So, imagine that every single person who's drinking that I interface with, my deep secret intention is to get them to stop drinking. – Lana Shay 11:20  Men are really starved for intimacy and relationships with other men. Men will seek out sex workers a lot of times just for connection and I saw that so much in the club, and I also see it now in my life. – Jessica Esfandiary 13:30  Babies die if they're not touched and held enough when they're first born. Yes, we're not going to die as adults but it's still that feeling of kind of dying inside if you're not getting enough physical interaction. – Lana Shay 15:16  I like touching my customers, I feel like I can give so much through one conscious touch and it doesn't have to be sexual. It never was sexual, it's just like “Hey I see you I feel you.” – Lana Shay 16:23  People do not get better when they're punished. It doesn't work. – Jessica Esfandiary  17:52  I like the idea where men come into a strip club where we can show up for them in a way that allows them to go out in the world and feel like a man that's nourished and powerful. A way that he's connected to himself and wants to show up for women in a conscious way. – Lana Shay 18:53  Women like us are so committed to breaking these cycles and these constructs that just don't serve anyone. Patriarchy is such a touchy thing and I think what men fail to realize is it's hurting them more than it's hurting women because it's this unseen hurt that happens. – Jessica Esfandiary 27:08 In the right environment with the right container and people it could be the most expansive work you do in your life. - Jessica Esdadiary 29:05 Understand the power of sexual energy and how to circulate it and cultivate it and use it for much more than a crotch sneeze. Not that orgasms are bad, but certain types of orgasms are like prostheses. We can get way better orgasms here, people! - Lana Shay 32:39 There is so much healing in sexuality. I truly believe it's in denying our sexual nature that we cause a lot of pain inside ourselves  - Jessica Esfandiary  Take advantage of a 30% discount on Dr. Zhana's eligible courses with code "JESSICA", applied to the first payment only for offers with multiple payments or subscriptions. • Open Smarter Course The product I love who support this show: •  Honey Pot Lube and Massage Oil OPENLATE20 •  The Oh Club OPENLATE •  Desire Resorts  This is a Sabbatical Jess Production Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

In this episode of Open Late Podcast, Jessica sits down and has a conversation with Lana Shay, author of "Erotic Hustle." Together, they explore the fascinating parallels in their lives, discovering that their paths may have crossed in the past during their time working in the vibrant nightlife of Las Vegas. Reflecting on their respective journeys, Jessica and Lana dive into their experiences with psychedelics and the profound transformations these substances have brought to their lives. Lana shares her personal story, including her past marriage and the unexpected twists and turns that led her to living in the jungle in Costa Rica! In this episode of Open Late: Finding freedom after challenging relationships Holistic living and natural remedies Transformative effects of plant medicine  Living in the jungle of Costa Rica  Nurturing societal conditioning of women  Connect with Lana Shay: • Instagram: @iamlanashay • Book: Erotic Hustle: Redefining Sin through Sacred Sexuality & Psychedelics • Website: https://lanashay.com/ Connect with Jessica: • Instagram: @journey.with.jessica | @openlatethepodcast • Website: openlatepodcast.com | jessicaesfandiary.com • Youtube: Open Late Podcast • What's my relationship style? Take the Open Late Quiz • Join our free chat community, "Open Talks" on WhatsApp • Open Late Dictionary Quotes from the episode: 9:10  I was in a very toxic relationship and pretty devoted to this guy really not knowing what my own wants and desires were. Shortly after I found out that that guy was totally leading a double life for almost three years and had a pretty serious sex addiction. – Jessica Esfandiary 12:24 You need to stop resisting and fighting your desire to be in a relationship. - Lana Shay 14:03 There was a moment where I wanted I had this deep desire to have a child with him and I realized it was simply because I wanted to heal him. I wanted him to feel so deeply loved that someone wanted him to continue his legacy. – Lana Shay 15:47 Women in general, as we're growing up, are very conditioned to tune ourselves to the energy of men and be in that nurturing, supportive, “how can I please you” role. – Jessica Esfandiary  24:40 I'm so healthy, all I care about is my health. And I'm preaching to people about holistic living while I have to down a bottle of Advil every month, I feel like such a fake. – Lana Shay 28:34 Our body builds up a lot of toxins. We live in a pretty toxic environment, all the things we put in our bodies and on our skin, and then it's absorbed, not to mention the way that we think and the way that we speak to ourselves. – Jessica Esfandiary 36:37 I was in Costa Rica, and people started leaving as covid started spreading. And they said the borders are closing, you either leave now or stay here. I was like “The world is finally ending and I am “stuck” in a paradise? I am not leaving!”. - Lana Shay Take advantage of a 30% discount on Dr. Zhana's eligible courses with code "JESSICA", applied to the first payment only for offers with multiple payments or subscriptions. • Open Smarter Course The product I love who support this show: • Honey Pot Lube and Massage Oil OPENLATE20 • The Oh Club OPENLATE • Desire Resorts  This is a Sabbatical Jess Production Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

In this episode of Open Late Podcast, Jessica takes a moment to provide a heartfelt life update since the beginning of the year, sharing her personal journey towards motherhood. Jessica opens up about her experience of losing the ability to carry children and the emotional challenges that came with it. She then takes us through her journey of exploring surrogacy as a path to parenthood, including the process of finding the right surrogate. Jessica shares the heartwarming story of meeting their surrogate Carly and the excitement from discussing the idea of having twins to actually getting pregnant. She reflects on the emotions and preparations that accompanied this life-changing decision. As a special treat, Jessica announces exciting giveaways for the listeners, adding an extra element of celebration and connection with the Open Late community. Don't miss out! In this episode of Open Late: Journey towards motherhood Why did they choose surrogacy pregnancy Finding the right surrogate Having Twins and baby moon Giveaways for listeners Episode about Motherhood with McLean McGown: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/open-late/id1587979583?i=1000560573356 Follow our surrogacy pregnancy: @the.surrogacy.pregnancy Connect with Jessica: • Instagram: @journey.with.jessica | @openlatethepodcast • Website: openlatepodcast.com | jessicaesfandiary.com • Youtube: Open Late Podcast • What's my relationship style? Take the Open Late Quiz • Join our free chat community, "Open Talks" on WhatsApp • Open Late Dictionary Quotes from the episode: 0:51 The quality of our relationships dictate the quality of our lives. - Jessica Esfandiary 3:05  My journey through having cervical cancer and a hysterectomy ultimately resulted in me not being able to get pregnant because I don't have a uterus or for the rest of the parts. - Jessica Esfandiary 6:20  A really good friend of one of my closest friends reached out and said "I think that my friend is your surrogate.” - Jessica Esfandiary 7:03 I remember seeing her name on my phone and I just knew what it was about.. Like in that moment I was like “Oh my God” there's nothing else this could be about. - Jessica Esfandiary 8:28  Recognition and confirmation that this was the person that was meant to carry our babies into the world was such a pure feeling. - Jessica Esfandiary 13: 24 The Open Late studio we sit in right now will become our nursery. - Jessica Esfandiary 15:27 One of the other really amazing things about this journey to becoming parents is we feel like we just got invited to like “The cool kids club”. all of our other friends who are parents or becoming parents at this moment and we're all like doing this together and that feels really cool to share information and insights. - Jessica Esfandiary 16:44 No one knows what they are doing at the beginning, and it's okay to figure it out along the way. - Jessica Esfandiary Take advantage of a 30% discount on Dr. Zhana's eligible courses with code "JESSICA", applied to the first payment only for offers with multiple payments or subscriptions. • Open Smarter Course The product I love who support this show: • Honey Pot Lube and Massage Oil OPENLATE20 • The Oh Club OPENLATE • Desire Resorts  This is a Sabbatical Jess Production Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

In this special celebratory 100th episode of Open Late,  Jessica is joined by her long-time friends Ginger Banks, an adult performer and activist, and Dr. Zhana Vrangalova, an NYU Professor of Sex and Sexuality and renowned sex researcher. Together, they discuss the nature of play parties and the standards organizers should follow, emphasizing the importance of embracing mistakes as a natural part of exploration and growth. The trio shares their own diverse experiences and perspectives, shedding light on how these experiences have shaped their outlook on various subjects. They delve into evolving gender questions and examine the impact of gender on sexual experiences. Consent, safety, and trauma responses are also key topics of discussion, with an emphasis on the significance of obtaining explicit consent and creating a safe environment for all individuals involved. The hosts explore the complexities of trauma and its potential impact on responses within sexual contexts. In this episode of Open Late: Nature of play parties and standards for organizers Embracing mistakes as a part of personal growth Evolving gender questions and their impact on sexual experiences Significance of consent, safety, and trauma responses Time myopia and the role of transgression in sexual exploration Connect with Ginger: • Instagram: @thegingerbanks  Connect with Dr.Zhana: • Instagram: @drzhana • Website: www.drzhana.com • Email: [email protected]  • Open Smarter Course Connect with Jessica: • Instagram: @journey.with.jessica | @openlatethepodcast • Website: openlatepodcast.com | jessicaesfandiary.com • Youtube: Open Late Podcast • What's my relationship style? Take the Open Late Quiz • Join our free chat community, "Open Talks" on WhatsApp • Open Late Dictionary Quotes from the episode: 17:30 Good and bad things happen at the club, good and bad things happen at sex clubs, good and bad things happen like all over the world and there's no such thing as a perfect space as ultimately a safe space because we're all humans flawed we're all gonna make mistakes. - Ginger Banks 20:00 I think it's really important if someone transgresses us to tell them how they hurt us and how they affected us, because I don't think there's any other way that their behavior is gonna change if we just completely remove ourselves from the situation. - Ginger Banks 39:40 Sometimes people cross boundaries because they themselves are so excited about the situation that they're in their own desire. Their own excitement is sort of overpowering their ability to read these more ambiguous signs that the person is showing in an accurate way. - Dr. Zhana Vrangalova 49:30 Personally, I think it's really important for me to be in my body. It makes it a lot safer that I don't drink because it really does put this time blindness on people it's called myopia where they actually only care about what's happening now, they don't care about the consequences. - Ginger   Take advantage of a 30% discount on Dr. Zhana's eligible courses with code "JESSICA", applied to the first payment only for offers with multiple payments or subscriptions. • Open Smarter Course The product I love who support this show: • Honey Pot Lube and Massage Oil OPENLATE20 • The Oh Club OPENLATE • Desire Resorts  Older episodes with • Ginger: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/open-late/id1587979583?i=1000546411260 • Dr. Zhana: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/open-late/id1587979583?i=1000603261737 This is a Sabbatical Jess Production Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

In this episode, Jess connects with Emily, Dedeker, and Jesse from the Multiamory podcast, who are also the co-authors of their recently released book, "Multiamory: Essential Tools for Modern Relationships." They share the inspiration behind their book and explore the journey they took to bring it to life. The hosts engage in a lively discussion about the various relationship tools and chapters featured in their book. This is not another “How To” book! Additionally, the Multiamory hosts reveal their favorite tools and explain why they find them valuable. The conversation takes a deeper dive into the realm of creating healthy communication within relationships and offer insightful advice on overcoming disagreements in relationships in a simpler way.   In this episode of Open Late:   The story behind the Multiamory book Different tools to create safe conversation in your relationship The significance of scheduling Radar Check-ins Discussing also why things are going well in relationships Finding community that understands and listens to your needs Connect with Multiamory: • Website: https://www.multiamory.com/ • Book: https://www.multiamory.com/book • Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/multiamory_podcast/ • Become a Patreon/ Join the Discord : https://www.patreon.com/bePatron?c=256168 • Link to buy the Multiamory: Essential Tools for Modern Relationships book: multiamory.com/book Connect with Jessica: • Instagram: @journey.with.jessica | @openlatethepodcast • Website: openlatepodcast.com | jessicaesfandiary.com • Youtube: Open Late Podcast • What's my relationship style? Take the Open Late Quiz • Join our free chat community, "Open Talks" on WhatsApp • Open Late Dictionary   Quotes from the episode: 9:05    It's inevitable that whether you're in a triad, trying to get a threesome, solo poly, or maybe you want to find your monogamous married soulmate, or whatever it is, you're going to run into some communication problems. So we wrote a book and mapped out some tools you can use. Dedeker  12:48  The point is to not just jump to what it is that you think your partner needs but rather ask. Maybe say “what are you looking for here” or for you to tell your partner “hey all that I need from you right now is this”. Emily 13:45   I don't always know what I want, especially with my partner. Jessica Esfandiary 16:50  What people struggle with the most is how to communicate about their relationship choices to the people that don't understand their relationship choices. Jessica Esfandiary 19:00 Finding a good online community is difficult. Jesse 19:10 I found that it is often better to communicate in person because we tend to be less shitty to each other face-to-face than we are online. Jesse 24:00 When I say “I want to have a talk” it’s often associated with “Oh that's gonna be bad. This is gonna be stressful. You have a complaint.” What I love about Radar Check-in is, that it helps to take away some of those notions because in it you also talk about the stuff that's going well, stuff that's challenging, future plans and, maybe things you want to try.. Jesse 28:48  Even if you know a person extremely well, you can never fully know exactly what's going on with them. Their desires and needs for something new and exciting in the relationship, even if things are going great, is a great opportunity for a Radar Check-in. Emily Take advantage of a 30% discount on Dr. Zhana's eligible courses with code "JESSICA", applied to the first payment only for offers with multiple payments or subscriptions. • Open Smarter Course The product I love who support this show: •  Honey Pot Lube and Massage Oil OPENLATE20 •  The Oh Club OPENLATE •  Desire Resorts  This is a Sabbatical Jess Production Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

In this episode, Jess returns to her conversation with a couple Donna and Alex, who are Jess’s listeners from Florida, creators of a blog called Swinging Through the Ages. Donna and Alex talk about how they have been navigating being swingers for decades and how they managed it without ever coming out to their children. Jess, Donna, and Alex discuss parenthood and if Florida is the most lifestyle state. They talk about their travel plans  and why they carry upside-down pineapples on their luggage.  In this episode of Open Late: • Lifestyle swingers and keeping it private • Upside-down Pineapple and meeting life-long friends • Is Florida the most lifestyle-friendly state? • Wearing wedding bands on the right hand • Open-minded parenting and knowing your children Connect with Donna and Alex: • Website: http://swingingthroughtheages.com Connect with Jessica: • Instagram: @journey.with.jessica | @openlatethepodcast • Website: openlatepodcast.com | jessicaesfandiary.com • Youtube: Open Late Podcast • What's my relationship style? Take the Open Late Quiz • Join our free chat community, "Open Talks" on WhatsApp • Open Late Dictionary   Quotes from the episode: If you can talk openly about your sexuality, and you realize the baseline is somewhere deep, then it is easy to develop such a meaningful friendship. – Jessica Esfandairy It is human nature, and we all tend to be secretive about it. – Jessica Esfandiary We are constantly looking for swingers in the wild. The upside-down pineapple is a sign. – Alex We had a very private swimming pool that was clothing optional. Our kids knew that we were not wearing bathing suits if they were not there. – Alex I recommend that couples should try dating separately. – Jessica Esfandiary We experience real happiness, seeing the other one happy. -Alex I really like how much she enjoyed being with another guy…. And her glow-up afterwards! - Alex Take advantage of a 30% discount on Dr. Zhana's eligible courses with code "JESSICA", applied to the first payment only for offers with multiple payments or subscriptions. • Open Smarter Course The product I love who support this show: • Honey Pot Lube and Massage Oil OPENLATE20 • The Oh Club OPENLATE • Desire Resorts    This is a Sabbatical Jess Production Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

In this episode, Jess connects with Donna and Alex, a couple from Florida who stand behind a blog called Swinging Through the Ages. Donna and Alex are Open Late listeners who reacted to Jess's stories when she was looking for exciting stories about how people opened up their relationships. They walk us through the beginning of their relationship and what led them to become swingers, finding out about the Desire Resort, and the upside-down pineapple symbol!  In this episode of Open Late: Becoming a poly-quad without knowing Remaining open after having kids  Visiting a clothing-optional resort Upside-down Pineapple and meeting life-long friends Connect with Donna and Alex: • Website: http://swingingthroughtheages.com Connect with Jessica: • Instagram: @journey.with.jessica | @openlatethepodcast • Website: openlatepodcast.com | jessicaesfandiary.com • Youtube: Open Late Podcast • What's my relationship style? Take the Open Late Quiz • Join our free chat community, "Open Talks" on WhatsApp • Open Late Dictionary   Quotes from the episode: 3:03 You are never too old to get a new lifestyle. – Donna 3:36 If a couple flips our switch and there is chemistry there, age is just a number and is not an issue. – Alex  7:03 We had a "foursome" friendship with our friends that organically developed into something else. – Donna 8:09 Over time, it moved from just sitting next to each other and holding hands to making out and having oral sex with each other's partners. - Alex 8:40 We were kinda poly-quad before we even knew the term. – Alex 11:53 The entire relationship, we were never full swap. It was always a soft swap. – Donna 13:06 Her gaydar was always off the charts. – Donna 14:49 Back in high school, If I would fantasize, it was always about girls. -Donna 16:01 Labels are interesting because sometimes they are confusing, but sometimes they can be empowering.– Jessica Esfandiary 17:37 I wouldn't say I am BI, but If a guy wants to touch or play with me, I won't jump out of bed and punch him. – Alex 23:56 You can be in the jacuzzi, and it's like a giant cocktail of naked people. – Alex 26:11 People you meet when you are naked become amazing friends. - Alex 29:16 You talk about grandkids, retirement, what you are doing here, as well as where you want to go for dinner and where you want to go to play. – Donna 30:31 If you can talk openly about your sexuality, and you realize the baseline is somewhere deep, then it is easy to develop such a meaningful friendship. – Jessica Esfandairy Take advantage of a 30% discount on Dr. Zhana's eligible courses with code "JESSICA", applied to the first payment only for offers with multiple payments or subscriptions. • Open Smarter Course The product I love who support this show: • Honey Pot Lube and Massage Oil OPENLATE20 • The Oh Club OPENLATE • Desire Resorts    This is a Sabbatical Jess Production Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

In this episode, Jess welcomes Marsha Molinari to the studio. Marsha is an LGBTQIA+ fashion icon, successful business owner and human rights activist. They talk about the need for more representation and perception of LGBTQIA+ communities. Marsha sheds light on the circumstances of her life before she moved to LA and what led her to become such a big part of HWood Hospitality and Nightlife Group. She opens up about her transition and how your close community can change your life experience. Marsha shares a bit about her dating life and what she expects from her future partner.  In this episode of Open Late: Representation and diverse perspectives in LGBTQIA+ communities  Marsha’s transition to a woman Starting a business in the heart of Hollywood The "Butterfly effect"  Organizations that support Trans Youth Mentioned in the episode: Trevor Project: https://www.thetrevorproject.org/ GLAD: https://www.glad.org/ Imagine LA: https://www.imaginela.org/ Connect with Marsha: • Podcast: Marsha! Marsha! Marsha! • Instagram: @marshamolinari Connect with Jessica: • Instagram: @journey.with.jessica | @openlatethepodcast • Website: openlatepodcast.com | jessicaesfandiary.com • Youtube: Open Late Podcast • Join our free chat community, "Open Talks" on WhatsApp • Open Late Dictionary • Asking for a friend (AFAF) Question Form The product I love who support this show: •  Honey Pot Lube and Massage Oil OPENLATE20    This is a Sabbatical Jess Production Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

In this episode, Jess sits down with Chaneé Jackson Kendall, a black queer polyamorous woman, activist, educator and content creator. The two talk about the differences of poly theory vs. poly reality as people who experience polycule life everyday. With 15 years of polyamorous living experience, Chaneé has also brought up her son in a household with multiple mothers and father present. This has only elevated the lifestyle that their family is able to live in many ways, highlighting a shared workload, endless love, and financial freedom. They dig deeper into racial assumptions about polyamory and the importance of culturally competent poly education. In this episode of Open Late: • Polyamory Theory vs. Real Polyamorous Living • What’s a "Mom-glomerate" • The Benefits of Community Parenting  • 4 Pillars of Intentional Polyamory • Healthy Time Away from Your Child Connect with Michelle: • Instagram: @chaneespeaks • Instagram: @blackpolypride Connect with Jessica: • Instagram: @journey.with.jessica | @openlatethepodcast • Website: openlatepodcast.com  • Youtube: Open Late Podcast • What's my relationship style? Take the Open Late Quiz • Join our free chat community, "Open Talks" on WhatsApp • Open Late Dictionary • Asking for a friend (AFAF) Question Form Evita's Episode: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/open-late/id1587979583?i=1000564831532 Evita's Book: https://www.barnesandnoble.com/w/a-polyamory-devotional-evita-lavitaloca-sawyers/1142751200;jsessionid=13E24DE2E77C17FD77A06C03A10696A0.prodny_store02-atgap12?ean=9781990869235&st=AFF&2sid=Linktree%20Pty%20Ltd_100589976_NA&sourceId=AFFLinktree%20Pty%20Ltd Polyamory and Parenthood by The Daylovers https://remodeledlove.samcart.com/products/polyamory-parenthood-book Quotes from the episode: 2:47 People have a conversation about polyamory in the clouds, and I like to have conversations about polyamory on the ground. – Chaneé Jackson Kendall 4:27 When we got married, we had our partners by our side at our wedding ceremony. – Chaneé Jackson Kendall 9:28 I fell madly in love with a woman three months before my husband and I got married. Chaneé Jackson Kendall    14:50 Our life is not public, but We Are Who We Are everywhere we go. – Chaneé Jackson Kendall 17:46 When our son was three months old me, and my partner fell in love with another woman. – Chaneé Jackson Kendall 18:50 The reality is that the way our current society is set up like even with lots and lots of money, two-parent households are largely unhappy. – Chaneé Jackson Kendall 34:28 I wanted to let other people, who naturally love the way that I love, know that it's not just something that upper-middle-class white people do. – Chaneé Jackson Kendall  39.09 Whenever you are taking in content, make sure that you never take advice from someone who's not where you want to be. – Chaneé Jackson Kendall 47:21 It is part of our relational culture that we should all have the freedom to date if we desire. – Chaneé Jackson Kendall 48:15 People are always so worried about the kids in polyamory; meanwhile, this is the most over-loved child ever. - Jessica Esfandiary 55:37 When you have something good, you can always be open to better. – Chaneé Jackson Kendall • Take advantage of a 30% discount on Dr. Zhana's eligible courses with code "JESSICA", applied to the first payment only for offers with multiple payments or subscriptions. • Open Smarter Course The product I love who support this show: •  Honey Pot Lube and Massage Oil OPENLATE20   This is a Sabbatical Jess Production Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

To the Open Late Community, I have a short but important statement that I want to share with all of you. I deleted some podcast episodes last week with an organization where we discussed play parties and their culture. After some new information came to light and I reflected on some of my own experiences, I decided that I was no longer in alignment with that organization, and I felt like I should delete these episodes. This podcast has been my baby for the last year and a half, and the community we have created together, the episodes I share every week, and the guests I have on the show mean so much to me. The information we share, learn and grow from together is valuable to me. I had to really think about what my intention is and what is the most important thing about the work that I do. I came back to the fact that so many of you trust me. You ask me questions every week, share personal details about your lives with me, and look to me for advice and coaching. If people really trust me, then honesty, integrity, and transparency have to be the utmost important things, and they have to be at the forefront of what I am doing. The decision I made was not made lightly. I talked to my partners about it, deliberated, went back and forth, and talked to my most trusted chosen family. Ultimately, I came back to honesty and integrity and decided to take down these interviews. It was not the easy thing to do; the easy thing would have been to keep the interviews and separate them from my personal view. But I think doing the challenging thing of opening up and sharing that this is not in alignment and I don't feel comfortable promoting this organization anymore was the right thing to do. Whenever we have challenging conversations, we grow from them, and that's why I'm releasing this statement. I want you to know that if you listen to or watch those episodes, they're not bad. There's a lot of good information, a great conversation, and some really good listener questions that we answered on the show about the parties and culture. So if you've already listened to them, it's all good. You can definitely take away some things and apply them to your life. However, I took them down because I am no longer in alignment with that organization, and I don't feel comfortable promoting and sending people to their events. That's all I wanted to share, and I hope that you all take this with whatever meaning it can have for you in your own lives. There's always a lesson to learn, and I'm committed to bringing you amazing guests with amazing content every week for as long as it feels good for me. If you want to be a bigger part of our community, we're always growing, so feel free to join our WhatsApp group "Open Talks," which is a free community where you can ask questions and get advice and coaching. It's a really amazing peer support space. Also, our website is live, and it has had a complete revamp by Nacole, so feel free to check it out. You can access all of our resources there, like our "What's your relationship style quiz?", our dictionary, all of the books and podcasts that I recommend and love, and so much more. Let me know what you think, and I will see you next week on Open Late. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

In this BONUS Episode, Jess continues her conversation with Michael, founder of The Play in Los Angeles. They anwer a bunch of listener questions that came in from both of their platforms and aim to demystify the Sex Party scene. Thet discuss different scenarios at the parties, what to do when attending as a single man and how to prepare if it’s your first time or 50th.. Jess and Michael talk about why it is important to double-check on consent. Michael shares the main DOs and DONTs of the party and what are the minimum requirements to keep the community safe.  In this episode of Open Late: • Attending play parties as a single man • Normalizing not playing at your first party  • Why consent is Sexy • DOs and DONTs of a good play party • Keeping the community safe Connect with Michael Hollis: • Website: https://theplay.la • Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/theplay.la/ Connect with Jessica: • Instagram: @journey.with.jessica | @openlatethepodcast • Website: openlatepodcast.com  • Youtube: Open Late Podcast • What's my relationship style? Take the Open Late Quiz • Join our free chat community, "Open Talks" on WhatsApp • Open Late Dictionary • Asking for a friend (AFAF) Question Form This is a Sabbatical Jess Production Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

In this episode, Jess sits down with Michael, the founder of The Play in Los Angeles. The play is a community of artists who throw collaborative Sex Parties. Michael shares his first experiences with lifestyle parties and culture and what inspired him to create his own. He explains the four pillars of the play, and how the application process works. Jess and Michael discuss normalizing STI testing, conversations around sexual health and how working to end the stigmatization is so important. They talk about freedom of expression and open communication where there is no judgment. They share what you can expect and when the upcoming events are. Let's play! In this episode of Open Late: • Creating the play party you want to attend • Sexual health, getting tested and no shame approach • Four pillars of the play  • Freedom of expression and open communication • Addressing sexual tension and creating safety Connect with Michael: • Website: https://theplay.la • Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/theplay.la/ Connect with Jessica: • Instagram: @journey.with.jessica | @openlatethepodcast • Website: openlatepodcast.com  • Youtube: Open Late Podcast • What's my relationship style? Take the Open Late Quiz • Join our free chat community, "Open Talks" on WhatsApp • Open Late Dictionary • Asking for a friend (AFAF) Question Form This is a Sabbatical Jess Production Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

In this solo episode, Jessica shares her steamy experience from Mexico. Jess and her husband visited an clothing optional couples-only resort for the first time! Jess talks about enthusiastic consent and the special areas and services the resort offers. Jess also opens up more about why the trip was so important and about connecting with her partner more deeply before they bring children into this world.  In this episode of Open Late: • Adults and Couples-only Resort in Mexico • The importance of understanding consent • Erotic couples massage experience • Connecting with your partner on a deeper level • Understanding difference between Strict monogamy and Hot monogamy Connect with Jessica: • Instagram: @journey.with.jessica | @openlatethepodcast • Website: openlatepodcast.com | jessicaesfandiary.com • Youtube: Open Late Podcast • What's my relationship style? Take the Open Late Quiz • Join our free chat community, "Open Talks" on WhatsApp • Open Late Dictionary     This is a Sabbatical Jess Production Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

In this episode, Jess takes us back to her last vacation in Asia when she and Pasha decided to have sex every single day of their 4 weeks together.. Jess talks about what led them to make this decision and why they took up on this "challenge." She shares what they learn from this experience and also about each other. Jess talks about how daily responsibilities can get the best out of you and how falling into the routine can be exciting in new different spaces.  In this episode of Open Late: • The downfall of familiarity with your partner • Understanding and integrating foreplay all day long • The many ways she spices it up • The health benefits of having sex on daily Connect with Jessica: • Instagram: @journey.with.jessica | @openlatethepodcast • Website: openlatepodcast.com | jessicaesfandiary.com • Youtube: Open Late Podcast • What's my relationship style? Take the Open Late Quiz • Join our free chat community, "Open Talks" on WhatsApp • Open Late Dictionary     This is a Sabbatical Jess Production Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

In this episode, Jess connects and talks with Michelle Hy, a non-monogamy and polyamorous content creator from Polyamorous while Asian. Michelle opens up about her journey of realizing she is polyamorous with relationship anarchy leanings and what it actually means. They talk about cultural differences and mental and emotional programming. Michelle shares how she prefers to compartmentalize her personal life and her family life. You’ll hear how a pandemic hobby became the platform she uses to educates people about their sexual health and nontraditional relationships. In this episode of Open Late: • Cultural programmings affects on sexuality • Keeping family separate from your personal life and relationships • Political aspects of relationships and non-monogamy • Sexually transmitted illness and the stigma that surrounds them • Sex education (or the lack there of) and the need of more resources Connect with Michelle: • Website: https://polyamorouswhileasian.com/ • Instagram: @polyamorouswhileasian Connect with Jessica: • Instagram: @journey.with.jessica | @openlatethepodcast • Website: openlatepodcast.com | jessicaesfandiary.com • Youtube: Open Late Podcast • What's my relationship style? Take the Open Late Quiz • Join our free chat community, "Open Talks" on WhatsApp • Open Late Dictionary • Asking for a friend (AFAF) Question Form Sex at Dawn by Christopher Ryan This is a Sabbatical Jess Production Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

We are introducing a new series called "Asking for a Friend.” In this series, Jess is not necessarily talking with sexperts or people practicing non monogamy but with very close friends and chosen family from her life, who share raw and personal experiences and also ask questions about Nonmonogamy. In this episode, Jess sits down with Lea Griffin. Lea is Jess’ former in-home assistant and remains a close friend of Jess and Pasha. Lea shares her first impressions and memories from when she started and how much her life has changed since then. They chat about the beginning of their bond and raw and unedited experiences of how it was working for Jess and Pasha. She also opens up about her sobriety journey and the struggles and wins that came along with it.   In this episode of Open Late, "Asking for a friend",  • Working in a healthy environment  • Understanding polyamorous relationships from the outside • Sobriety and the importance of establishing healthy boundaries • Staying sober during Covid and how it affects people's well being • Accepting change and evolution of human love Connect with Jessica: • Instagram: @journey.with.jessica | @openlatethepodcast • Website: openlatepodcast.com | jessicaesfandiary.com • Youtube: Open Late Podcast • What's my relationship style? Take the Open Late Quiz • Join our free chat community, "Open Talks" on WhatsApp • Open Late Dictionary • Asking for a friend (AFAF) Question Form     This is a Sabbatical Jess Production Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

In this episode, we pick up where we left off with Lolo Urbiztondo, Jess's love and cofounder of Sound Sutra who still plays a big role in her life. The girls talk about a lot of fun sex stuff and also hard topics. Lolo shares more about her photoshoots for women and how she feels about opening her work to a global market. She gives us insights and small secrets about her intimacy photoshoot for couples. Jess and Lolo talk about their experience of seeing love from the "fly on the wall" perspective and how it affects your relationship. We look closer to embracing the "unicorn" vibes, and Jess shares her journey of getting over old hurts and pains in order to become the mother she wants to be for her children.  In this episode of Open Late: • Creating safe intimacy in Photoshoots for women and couples   • Experience of seeing love from a "Fly on the wall" point of view • "Unicorn Vibes" and becoming a mother • Understanding and reliving old pains and hurts in order to heal • Trauma release therapy and letting go of stored dense energy Connect with Lolo • Instagram: @lolo_urbinztondo Connect with Jessica: • Instagram: @journey.with.jessica | @openlatethepodcast • Website: openlatepodcast.com | jessicaesfandiary.com • Youtube: Open Late Podcast • What's my relationship style? Take the Open Late Quiz • Join our free chat community, "Open Talks" on WhatsApp • Open Late Dictionary This is a Sabbatical Jess Production Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

After a very long time today, Jess sits down again with Lolo, her other love and best friend. They shared their experience from Burning Man and much-needed decompression afterwards. Jess and Lolo dig deeper into the evolution of their relationship and how they realize things need a business “break up”. Jess talks about her experiences in Thailand, and Lauren shares her future travel plans.   In this episode of Open Late,  • Decompression after Burning Man Festival • Understanding the change and opening up about it  • Creative consciousness and taking a healthy break  • Naked Northern lights photoshoot • Thailand and future travel plans Connect with Lolo • Instagram: @lolo_urbinztondo Connect with Jessica: • Instagram: @journey.with.jessica | @openlatethepodcast • Website: openlatepodcast.com | jessicaesfandiary.com • Youtube: Open Late Podcast • What's my relationship style? Take the Open Late Quiz • Join our free chat community, "Open Talks" on WhatsApp • Open Late Dictionary This is a Sabbatical Jess Production Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Today Jess hosts Shelby Terrell, an intimacy coordinator and current MSW Candidate, on the path of becoming a sex and relationship therapist working with the LGBTQIA+ population. Shelby shares how growing up in the entertainment environment shaped her and why she decided to become an intimacy coordinator on sets. They talk about the importance of people being educated and how boundaries on set are misunderstood and often pushed far for the sake of a career. They discuss how working on many things simultaneously can feel like being lost and how finding self-acceptance can have a massive impact on your journey.    In this episode of Open Late,  • Becoming an Intimacy coordinator • Understanding consent and the need of creating healthy boundaries • Importance of pushing ourselves to experience discomfort in need to change • Deep Self-acceptance and acknowledgement of your own journey • Need for more “Pleasure activism and “Discomfort Scale”  Links mentioned in the episode: Certifying Intimacy Directors and Coordinators  https://www.idcprofessionals.com/ Adreinne Maree Brown: Accountability -  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AhANo6wzBAA Connect with Shelby Terrell • Instagram: @theshelbyterrell Connect with Jessica: • Instagram: @journey.with.jessica | @openlatethepodcast • Website: openlatepodcast.com | jessicaesfandiary.com • Youtube: Open Late Podcast • What's my relationship style? Take the Open Late Quiz • Join our free chat community, "Open Talks" on WhatsApp • Open Late Dictionary This is a Sabbatical Jess Production Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Today on the show Jess interviews Roy Graff, a Relationship coach and Therapist from London who is also practicing Solo-polyamory. In this episode Roy shares his introduction to the open relationship world later in his life. They discuss a “savior complex,” codependency, and the importance of us knowing what we really want. Jess and Roy also share their opinions on jealousy and how they experienced it in past relationships. They unravel the topic of a monogamous person dating a poly person, what is needed and what are the odds of survival of this relationship dynamic. They also touch on how practicing solo-polyamory can actually help people who have trouble committing in traditional relationship styles.  In this episode of Open Late,  • The Savior Complex and our human need to fix everyone • Experiencing, accepting and understanding jealousy in open relationships • Importance of unraveling codependency with your partners • Breaking the mold of mono-normativity • How solo-polyamory can help overcome insecurities • Attachment styles and commitment issues Connect with Roy Graff: • Instagram: @openrelating • Website: https://openrelating.love/about/   Connect with Jessica: • Instagram: @journey.with.jessica | @openlatethepodcast • Website: openlatepodcast.com | jessicaesfandiary.com • Youtube: Open Late Podcast • What's my relationship style? Take the Open Late Quiz • Join our free chat community, "Open Talks" on WhatsApp • Open Late Dictionary   This is a Sabbatical Jess Production Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Today Jess hosts Dr. Zhana an NYU Professor of Sex and Sexuality on the show. In this episode they discuss the various types of non monogamy. There are many reasons why some couples choose non monogamy, despite the common misconception that it is just a cover for infidelity. Jess and Dr. Zhana explore the advantages and disadvantages of relational styles and compare them to conventional monogamy throughout the conversation. Dr. Zhana offers some guidance to those in traditional relationships who desire sexual freedom and openness. They also talk about the trends in generations when it comes to relational expressions. This interview is helpful for anyone interested in learning more about different types of relationships and the role that they play in our personal lives. There is a lot covered in this episode!   In this episode of Open Late,   • The difference between Millennials and Gen Z relationships • The science behind non monogamy and how we are all wired differently • The different forms of non monogamy in the past and today • How the traditional ideas about monogamy have changed over the years • Ways to boost sexual self-esteem or confidence Connect with Dr. Zhana: • Instagram: @drzhana • Website: www.drzhana.com • Email: [email protected]  • Open Smarter Course • Take advantage of a 30% discount on Dr. Zhana's eligible courses with code "JESSICA", applied to the first payment only for offers with multiple payments or subscriptions.   Connect with Jessica: • Instagram: @journey.with.jessica | @openlatethepodcast • Website: openlatepodcast.com | jessicaesfandiary.com • Youtube: Open Late Podcast • What's my relationship style? Take the Open Late Quiz • Join our free chat community, "Open Talks" on WhatsApp • Open Late Dictionary   This show is a Sabbatical Jess Productions Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

In this Mini episode, Jess joins you from an Adults Only, Clothing Optional Resort just outside of Cancun, Mexico. She shares her first-hand experience and feelings about the place and the environment. She also updates you on her upcoming trips and plans. Would you like Jess to speak at the event in your hometown? Let her know! Email our team at [email protected]   In this episode of Open Late, •     Visiting an Adult only resort •     Embrace your fears of the unknown and explore •     Jess’ upcoming travels: Israel, Italy, Portugal, Morocco and the UK    Connect with Jessica: •     Instagram: @journey.with.jessica | @openlatethepodcast •     Website: openlatepodcast.com  •     Youtube: Open Late Podcast •     What's my relationship style? Take the Open Late Quiz •     Join our free chat community, "Open Talks" on WhatsApp   This is a Sabbatical Jess Production Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Love is hard to define. But, according to the book MARRIAGE: From Miserable to Magnificent, “Love” has a multitude of meanings and expressions across relationships In this episode of Open Late, Jess explains the different forms of love from the Greek language based on her recent reading MARRIAGE: From Miserable to Magnificent. She also provides clear examples of what each type of love means and how they can be expressed in various situations and relationships.  Before getting into specific types of love, it is important to define love in general. The Greeks used the word “eros” where we get the word “erotic” to describe romantic or sensual attraction. In contrast, the English word “love” has been used to describe several different feelings over the years, including friendship, compassion, the love we have for parents and children, god, etc.  By the end of this episode, you will have a better understanding of loving dynamics and how they can enrich different relationships in your life.  In this episode of Open Late, • How to measure success in relationship • How love without ownership works  • Definition of love in a non-monogamous container • How nonmonogamy can support more authenticity and depth to your relationship  • Forms of love (Eros, Philia, Storge, Ludus, Agape, Mania, Philautia and Pragma) and how they exist in different relationships and contexts  Connect with Jessica: • Instagram: @journey.with.jessica | @openlatethepodcast • Website: openlatepodcast.com | jessicaesfandiary.com • Youtube: Open Late Podcast • What's my relationship style? Take the Open Late Quiz • Join our free chat community, "Open Talks" on WhatsApp • Open Late Dictionary Order the Book Discussed in Today’s Episode • MARRIAGE: Miserable to Magnificent  "We can't really fault ourselves for having this bedrock thinking of partnership = ownership because it's been ingrained and indoctrinated in us." "For many people who want to create a conscious relationship, we're starting to examine these “norms” (monogamy) and question the belief systems that we have." "I think that we all measure success in our relationships in different ways, and it's important for you to define how you define success in your relationship and go from there." This is a Sabbatical Jess Production Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

In this episode, Jess and Meghana Raveendra continue their discussion about having children and their outlook of raising them without hiding your open relationship. They examine possible challenges children may experience and whether those occurrences could affect them in a positive or negative way. Meghana shares her personal experience of having multiple partners and her opinion about long-distance relationships. We discuss how labels can cause more issues than solutions at times and how the expectation of fulfilling every one of your partner’s wants, needs and desires can be exhausting.    In this episode of Open Late, •     Raising children within an open relationship •     Communal living •     Creating safe environments for children without hiding the truth •     Solo polyamory and long-distance relationships •     Expectations of satisfying all your partners needs vs the reality   Connect with Maghna: •     Instagram: @crazycurlyvagabond •     Blog: https://meghanaraveendra.wordpress.com/   Connect with Jessica: •     Instagram: @journey.with.jessica | @openlatethepodcast •     Website: openlatepodcast.com | jessicaesfandiary.com •     Youtube: Open Late Podcast •     What's my relationship style? Take the Open Late Quiz •     Join our free chat community, "Open Talks" on WhatsApp   This is a Sabbatical Jess Production “We are like a pie, with all these different slices, and these are all these various aspects of our personality and humanity, and it's very challenging for one person to bring out and interact with all those sides of us.” "I grew up with a mental health problem in spite of my parents being monogamous." "We can't change the world. We can't change things around us. We can only have more conversations, and be open to understanding." Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

In this episode, Jess sits down with Meghana Raveendra to discuss her transition from monogamous marriage to solo polyamory. Meghana opens up about her experiences of telling her ex-husband and family and the struggles of navigating intimacy as a polyamorous woman. We spoke about the expectations and limitations that come with marriage in Indian cultures and what is needed to break the social “norms“. We touch on the importance of meeting like-minded people and the need for a supportive, open community where people can explore themselves.   In this episode of Open Late, •     Accepting attraction to others while still married •     Navigating non-monogamy and solo polyamory as a woman •     Breaking cultural bias and the importance of meeting open-minded people •     Filing for divorce and opening up to family   Connect with Maghna: •     Instagram: @crazycurlyvagabond •     Blog: https://meghanaraveendra.wordpress.com/   Connect with Jessica: •     Instagram: @journey.with.jessica | @openlatethepodcast •     Website: openlatepodcast.com | jessicaesfandiary.com •     Youtube: Open Late Podcast •     What's my relationship style? Take the Open Late Quiz •     Join our free chat community, "Open Talks" on WhatsApp   This is a Sabbatical Jess Production   Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Jess is back to talk about her Dating Life- It’s 2022 Wrapped- make it Poly. In this episode you’ll hear who she’s dated, what her sex life is like and her intimate encounters even with friends. Part of Jess’ agreements with her primary partner is communication and honesty so she shares the importance of keeping them in the loop about what she’s doing and who she’s doing it with. Jess also talks about the dates that didn't work out but are still essential to her story. She explains why connecting with more people sexually can help you focus on your own pleasure and how starting a relationship with someone else can be a great way to open up new possibilities in your life. In this episode of Open Late, • An entire year of poly dating • Dates that did not work and why they are still important to her journey • Her run in with toxic masculine entitlement  • How honesty and communication are vital to her relationship success  Connect with Jessica: • Instagram: @journey.with.jessica | @openlatethepodcast • Website: openlatepodcast.com | jessicaesfandiary.com • Youtube: Open Late Podcast • What's my relationship style? Take the Open Late Quiz • Join our free chat community, "Open Talks" on WhatsApp • Open Late Dictionary This is a Sabbatical Jess Production "When you're strong in your intention and it has a really beautiful alignment behind it, it can make a huge difference in where you go in the year." "Women have the right to say, "No," and "I'm not interested in you." This is not an attack on your ego." "I identify as poly because I believe that I can be in love with multiple people at once, and it's not going to draw energy away from my relationship with my husband." Poly Points: The only limited resource is time, not love. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Jess is back with Anyeri and Jorge for round two! New to nonmonogamy, this couple has learned a lot over the last few years.  Not only has opening up elevated their relationship, they have grown tremendously as individuals as well. It's been a roller coaster ride for them, and they don’t hesitate to share all the ups and downs. We’re getting deep and personal in this episode, so grab your headphones and share your thoughts with us once you listen! In this episode of Open Late, • How nonmonogamy helps with regular life obstacles • The importance of validating your partner • Understanding the intentions of the other people you bring into your relationship • Working through trust issues and how that influences your relationship going forward Connect with Anyeri and Jorge: • Instagram: @everybodydoesitpodcast • Youtube: Everybody Does It   Connect with Jessica: • Instagram: @journey.with.jessica | @openlatethepodcast • Website: openlatepodcast.com | jessicaesfandiary.com • Youtube: Open Late Podcast • What's my relationship style? Take the Open Late Quiz • Join our free chat community, "Open Talks" on WhatsApp • Open Late Dictionary     This show is a Sabbatical Jess Production Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

In this episode, Jess sits down with Anyeri and Jorge to talk about their newly open relationship and how it has affected their lives. We cover how they first met, what drew them together and the early infidelity in their relationship. These two truly demonstrate how you can grow closer when you share the hard truths. We touch on challenges like jealousy and insecurity and OF COURSE we love a good threesome story! In this episode of Open Late, • Staying together after cheating • How most people see monogamy as their only option • How non-monogamy has changed their perception of relationships • Equality within your non monogamy Connect with Anyeri and Jorge: • Instagram: @everybodydoesitpodcast • Youtube: Everybody Does It   Connect with Jessica: • Instagram: @journey.with.jessica | @openlatethepodcast • Website: openlatepodcast.com | jessicaesfandiary.com • Youtube: Open Late Podcast • What's my relationship style? Take the Open Late Quiz • Join our free chat community, "Open Talks" on WhatsApp • Open Late Dictionary    This show is a Sabbatical Jess Production Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Jess is back to answer some of the recent Questions she’s received in Open Talks, our free WhatsApp community as well as from her Q&A’s on Instagram. To help demystify polyamory and dispel some of the misconceptions that abound, Jess speaks about her experiences and what advice she has for those considering it. This episode covers various topics, from dating multiple people simultaneously to communicating with her partners, to the challenges and rewards of maintaining a healthy relationship.    In this episode of Open Late, • The process of coming out • Making mistakes can be a good thing • To date or not to date your friends • The importance of communication and honesty in your open relationship Connect with Jessica: • Instagram: @journey.with.jessica | @openlatethepodcast • Website: openlatepodcast.com | jessicaesfandiary.com • Youtube: Open Late Podcast • What's my relationship style? Take the Open Late Quiz • Join our free chat community, "Open Talks" on WhatsApp This show is a Sabbatical Jess Production Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

In this episode, Jess answers some of the questions from our community WhatsApp group, "Open Talks."  She talks about codependency and how to overcome it in your relationships. While, codependency is often seen as a negative, is something we’re born learning. Doing the work to be interdependent in your relationship is key. When we depend on others to regulate our emotions, we’re in trouble.  In today's episode, we will talk about why we might become codependent and how we can overcome this in our relationships.  In this episode of Open Late • How to overcome codependency in your relationships • The difference between codependent and interdependent • How to approach polyamory if you are monogamous • How to navigate when your partner wants to have very different non-monogamous experiences than you do  Connect with Jessica: • Instagram: @journey.with.jessica | @openlatethepodcast • Website: openlatepodcast.com | jessicaesfandiary.com • Youtube: Open Late Podcast • What's my relationship style? Take the Open Late Quiz • Join our free chat community, "Open Talks" on WhatsApp This show is a Sabbatical Jess Production Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

This week on Open Late, Jess interviews Andre Lazarus to get his perspective on presenting men in society. The conversation goes deep and wide as they talk about Andre's challenges while serving in the military. He spoke about how "Don't Ask, Don't Tell" was repealed, allowing us to see more individuals feeling more comfortable. Unfortunately, the policy created a culture of fear that made it difficult for many people to live openly or honestly. But when did we stop being afraid? When did we start taking steps toward equality?   In this episode of Open Late • Overcoming the fear of vulnerability • Normalizing having feelings when you’re in a masculine role • Having the courage to fight gender norms in the military • How the deficit of true intimacy is effecting men Resources: • Learn more about the Don't Ask Don't Tell Policy here.   Connect with Andre Lazarus: • Instagram: @comingcloserwithandre • Website: https://coming-closer.com • Email: [email protected]    Connect with Jessica: • Instagram: @journey.with.jessica | @openlatethepodcast • Website: openlatepodcast.com | jessicaesfandiary.com • Youtube: Open Late Podcast • What's my relationship style? Take the Open Late Quiz • Join our free chat community, "Open Talks" on WhatsApp     This show is a Sabbatical Jess Production Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

This week on Open Late, Jess sits with Andre and Susannah to get their take on being in an open relationship. They share their experiences, what they've learned, and the challenges they've faced while having an open relationship. If you're looking for a fun way to learn how real people handle this kind of situation—and if you want some solid advice for getting started on your own journey—this one's for you!   In this episode of Open Late • Falling in love in midst of war in Afghanistan • Navigating relationship challenges while in active duty • Secrecy and infidelity • Making your partner your teammate in exploring your sexuality   Connect with Andre: • Instagram: @lazarusthegreek • Website: https://coming-closer.com • Email: [email protected]    Connect with Susannah: • Instagram: @susannahroses • Website: dounto.co • Email: [email protected]   Connect with Jessica: • Instagram: @journey.with.jessica | @openlatethepodcast • Website: openlatepodcast.com | jessicaesfandiary.com • Youtube: Open Late Podcast • What's my relationship style? Take the Open Late Quiz • Join our free chat community, "Open Talks" on WhatsApp   This show is a Sabbatical Jess Production Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

In this episode of Open Late, Jess talks about ‘relationship goals’ for 2023. She shares some of the challenges she's faced in relationships over the past few years, and how she's learned to be more devoted to herself. She also discusses setting goals for 2023, including the desire to get the most out of her life, love life, relationships and career. In this episode of Open Late • Relationship goals • Devotion to yourself • Setting goals for 2023 • Getting the most out of your life, love life, relationships and career   Connect with Jessica: • Instagram: @journey.with.jessica | @openlatethepodcast • Website: openlatepodcast.com | jessicaesfandiary.com • Youtube: Open Late Podcast • What's my relationship style? Take the Open Late Quiz • Join our free chat community, "Open Talks" on WhatsApp   Resources: https://www.oprah.com/omagazine/free-online-resources-for-mental-illness https://www.washington.edu/counseling/resources/ https://nami.org/Home   This show is a Sabbatical Jess Production Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

In this episode, Jess reflects on 2022. She talks about the ways she helped herself learn to listen to her own needs, and the ways she has held herself accountable for focusing on her own pleasure this year. She also shares her biggest takeaway from 2022: that having a committed relationship with yourself is just as important as having one with others. In this episode of Open Late • Personal 2022 wrapup and takeaway • Relationship and listening to yourself • How to help and educate yourself • Centralizing your own pleasure   Connect with Jessica: • Instagram: @journey.with.jessica | @openlatethepodcast • Website: openlatepodcast.com | jessicaesfandiary.com • Youtube: Open Late Podcast • What's my relationship style? Take the Open Late Quiz • Join our free chat community, "Open Talks" on WhatsApp Order: The Polyamory Paradox by Irene Mourning   Resources for Therapy and Counseling: https://www.oprah.com/omagazine/free-online-resources-for-mental-illness https://www.washington.edu/counseling/resources/ https://nami.org/Home   This show is a Sabbatical Jess Production Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

This week on Open Late, Jess sits down with Anne Hodder-Shipp and talks about what it means when someone says that there are only five love languages in the entire world and the others don’t count (and how wrong they are). They also talk about how this idea of limiting people into these categories is harmful and damaging for everyone involved (including ourselves).   In this episode of Open Late • Love languages • Sources of love • Different styles of giving and receiving love • How to grow and meet all the new versions of ourselves   Connect with Anne Hodder-Shipp: • Links: https://smartlink.metricool.com/public/smartlink/theannehodder-702031 • Everyone Deserves Sex Ed: https://annehoddershipp.com/everyone-deserves-sex-ed • Speaking from the Heart: 18 Languages for Modern Love: https://www.themodernlovelanguages.com/ • Take Back the Speculum: https://embodyworkla.com/tbts   Connect with Jessica: • Instagram: @journey.with.jessica | @openlatethepodcast • Website: openlatepodcast.com | jessicaesfandiary.com • Youtube: Open Late Podcast • What's my relationship style? Take the Open Late Quiz • Join our free chat community, "Open Talks" on WhatsApp   This show is a Sabbatical Jess Production Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

In this episode, Jess sits down with us one on one to talk about coming out and what it means for you as an individual trying to navigate those waters. She also talks about what other people might think when they hear news like this—and how they might react. As you grow and as you get more secure in this relationship, it will matter less what people think about you. Just because you come out doesn't mean the work ends—even if it goes really well. In this episode of Open Late • Personal experience being disrespected after coming out • How to deal with judgment • How to liberate yourself • Tips on coming out—whether it goes well or not!    Connect with Jessica: • Instagram: @journey.with.jessica | @openlatethepodcast • Website: openlatepodcast.com | jessicaesfandiary.com • Youtube: Open Late Podcast • What's my relationship style? Take the Open Late Quiz • Join our free chat community, "Open Talks" on WhatsApp This show is a Sabbatical Jess Production Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

In this episode, Jess talks about the importance of setting the stage when you're coming out to your friends and family. This can be a really scary thing, but it's also an important part of being true to yourself. In this episode of Open Late • How I came out • How to deal with rejection from family and friends • Being intentional Connect with Jessica: • Instagram: @journey.with.jessica | @openlatethepodcast • Website: openlatepodcast.com | jessicaesfandiary.com • Youtube: Open Late Podcast • What's my relationship style? Take the Open Late Quiz • Join our free chat community, "Open Talks" on WhatsApp   This show is a Sabbatical Jess Production Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

This week on Open Late, Jess sits down with host of Polycurious podcast Fernanda to talk all things from burning man, having a monogamous partner, and deciding if being open to your family and friends is right for you. Fernanda also shares her insight on NRE and clear intentions when dating with no intent to DTR. In this episode of Open Late • Finding community through Burning Man • Having a monogamous male partner • Confusing NRE with real feelings • Whether or not being publicly open is right for you Connect with Fernanda: • Follow Fernanda: Polycuriouspodcast • Listen to Polycurious Podcast here • Episode mentioned in this episode: E 12 - Fer & Seth: Monogamy in a Non-monogamous Relationship Connect with Jessica: • Instagram: @journey.with.jessica | @openlatethepodcast • Website: openlatepodcast.com | jessicaesfandiary.com • Youtube: Open Late Podcast • What's my relationship style? Take the Open Late Quiz • Join our free chat community, "Open Talks" on WhatsApp This show is a Sabbatical Jess Production Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

This week on Open Late, Jess sits down with LMFT Danielle Golan to get her perspective on how to structure an open relationship from the start. Danielle starts off by challenging the initial reasons that makes people want to try out this relationship style. Tune in and ask yourself: what needs do I have that can and can't be met by my partner? In this episode of Open Late • Common themes that arise when opening up • Clarifying unmet needs before opening the relationship • Verbal and written contracts • Sexual liberation Connect with Danielle Golan: • Follow Danielle: The Feeling Space • Website: www.thefeelingspace.me • Email: [email protected] Connect with Jessica: • Instagram: @journey.with.jessica | @openlatethepodcast • Website: openlatepodcast.com | jessicaesfandiary.com • Youtube: Open Late Podcast • What's my relationship style? Take the Open Late Quiz • Join our free chat community, "Open Talks" on WhatsApp This show is a Sabbatical Jess Production Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Leanne Yau, aka Poly Philia, joins us today to talk about her polyamorous journey. It began when she was 17 and heading off to college, and has now turned into a career and passion in the form of bite size education. Leanne and Jess challenge the mono-normative challenges that are creeping into the open relationship space and remind us its OK to want to be a unicorn that JUST wants to have sex! In this episode of Open Late • Links between ADHD and Polyamory • Unicorn Hunting • Toxic masculinity in non-monogamy • Guiding principals o boundaries with your partners Connect with Leanne Yau: • Follow Leanne Yau: PolyphiliaBlog • Twitter: Polyphilia Blog • Tik Tok: Polyphilia Blog • Facebook: Polyphilia Blog Resources: • So You Want To Be A Unicorn • 3 Group Sex Workshops • How To Be A Unicorn • 1-1 Peer Support (Text, Email, Video) • Cosmopolitan Article • Vice Article Connect with Jessica: • Instagram: @journey.with.jessica | @openlatethepodcast • Website: openlatepodcast.com | jessicaesfandiary.com • Youtube: Open Late Podcast • What's my relationship style? Take the Open Late Quiz • Join our free chat community, "Open Talks" on WhatsApp This show is a Sabbatical Jess Production Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

LMFT Dr. Cat Meyer joins us today to educate us on the benefits of Ketamine therapy. She gives us the history on ketamine, the many uses, the legality, and the negative counterparts. Dr. Cat Meyer also explains the importance of vetting and carefully choosing your psychedelic facilitator. In this episode of Open Late • What is ketamine therapy • Couples therapy using ketamine • Integrating what you learn in a session into everyday life • Misuse of boundaries Connect with Dr. Cat Meyer: • Follow Dr. Cat: @sexloveyoga • Podcast: SexLoveYoga Resources: • Dr. Cat's Website Connect with Jessica: • Instagram: @journey.with.jessica | @openlatethepodcast • Website: openlatepodcast.com | jessicaesfandiary.com • Youtube: Open Late Podcast • What's my relationship style? Take the Open Late Quiz • Join our free chat community, "Open Talks" on WhatsApp This show is a Sabbatical Jess Production Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Today Jess sits down with us one on one for a bonus episode! On the last episode we discussed how to open your relationship, on this episode we will dive a little deeper on topics that will come up on this journey. Whether it's accepting you and your partner have different style preferences, or checking in to make sure this journey is still fueling your fire, Jess gives us the scoop on how to navigate. In this episode of Open Late • How to navigate style differences • Why community is so important • Relationship check-ins • Taking the time to include/integrate and understand your new people Connect with Jessica: • Instagram: @journey.with.jessica | @openlatethepodcast • Website: openlatepodcast.com | jessicaesfandiary.com • Free Resource: Open Late Dictionary • Youtube: Open Late Podcast • What's my relationship style? Take the Open Late Quiz • Join our free chat community, "Open Talks" on WhatsApp This show is a Sabbatical Jess Production Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Today Jess sits down with us one on one to talk about where to begin your non-monogamous journey! Whether you are starting coupled or un-coupled, this episode is full of tips and advice on things you can to do to put you and your relationship out in the open in a safe, fun, and explorative way. In this episode of Open Late • Building your connection • Start slow and steady • Get on to an app like Feeld • Flirt out in public and see how that goes • Go to a sex party and watch Resources •The Polyamory Paradox Connect with Jessica: • Instagram: @journey.with.jessica | @openlatethepodcast • Website: openlatepodcast.com | jessicaesfandiary.com • Free Resource: Open Late Dictionary • Youtube: Open Late Podcast • What's my relationship style? Take the Open Late Quiz • Join our free chat community, "Open Talks" on WhatsApp This show is a Sabbatical Jess Production Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Comedian, writer, and sex worker, Billy Procida, joins us today to talk about his experience as a “Manwhore.” We are learning all about the evolution of Billy’s sexual confidence and all of the different ways it has and continues to impact his life, career, and relationships.  In this episode of Open Late • Finding the confidence to explore sexually • Craigslist adventures • Transition from webcamming to Onlyfans • Billy’s experience as a sugarbaby, findom, and internet boyfriend. Connect with Billy Procida: • Follow Billy: @billyisprocida  • Podcast: www.ManwhorePod.com/itunes • Twitter: @TheBillyProcida Resources: • Billy’s Onlyfans  • Discord: The Champagne Room Connect with Jessica: • Instagram: @journey.with.jessica | @openlatethepodcast • Website: openlatepodcast.com | jessicaesfandiary.com • Youtube: Open Late Podcast • What's my relationship style? Take the Open Late Quiz • Join our free chat community, "Open Talks" on WhatsApp This show is a Sabbatical Jess Production Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Today Jess is joined by entertainer, author, and podcast host, Jessica Levity Daylover! Jessica has much to share about her experience with polyamorous parenting, holding space for your partner while they are in NRE, and her principles such as "whole ass person." This episode is jammed packed with education, entertainment, and practices you can implement into your life and relationship right away. In this episode of Open Late • Addressing privilege • Parenting in a polyamorous relationship • "Dudes with Feelings" - Safe space for men in open relationships • Masking Connect with Jessica: • Instagram: Remodeled Love • Website: Remodeled Love • Youtube: Remodeled Love Connect with Jessica: • Instagram: @journey.with.jessica | @openlatethepodcast • Website: openlatepodcast.com | jessicaesfandiary.com • Free Resource: Open Late Dictionary • Youtube: Open Late Podcast • What's my relationship style? Take the Open Late Quiz • Join our free chat community, "Open Talks" on WhatsApp Resources mentioned: • "Dudes with Feelings" • E-book: Polyamory and Parenthood • "The Tide Always Turns" Principle The products I love who sponsor this show: •    Cured | Follow this link to check out Zen and receive 20% off all products! •    Honey Pot Lube and Massage Oil OPENLATE20 This show is a Sabbatical Jess Production Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Today Jess has a bonus episode for us where we learn what to do when "the talk" goes wrong. Not everyone will be super receptive or excited about the idea of opening up their relationship, but there are things we can do to show up for them during this time while still getting our needs and wants across. Get ready for more homework! In this episode of Open Late • Two different responded your partner could give • How to respond lovingly and gracefully • Offerings and ideas to use as stepping stones • Questions to ask yourself to make sure you are also showing up for your partner Connect with Jessica: • Instagram: @journey.with.jessica | @openlatethepodcast • Website: openlatepodcast.com | jessicaesfandiary.com • Free Resource: Open Late Dictionary • Youtube: Open Late Podcast • What's my relationship style? Take the Open Late Quiz • Join our free chat community, "Open Talks" on WhatsApp Resources mentioned: • Want, Will, Won't List by That Sex Chick The products I love who sponsor this show: •    Cured | Follow this link to check out Zen and receive 20% off all products! •    Honey Pot Lube and Massage Oil OPENLATE20 This show is a Sabbatical Jess Production Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Today Jess sits down with us to discuss how to start the conversation of non-monogamy with your partner. If you don’t know where to begin or have been feeling lost, you are sure to be found after this episode. Jess shares with us a list of topics to ease into the conversation, questions to do an internal audit on yourself and relationship, and ways to explore yourselves while being committed to your partner. In this episode of Open Late • Actionable steps to do an internal audit of your relationship • How to decide your relationship style • Common themes in an aging relationship • Non-monogamy healing couples going through or discussing divorce Connect with Jessica: • Instagram: @journey.with.jessica | @openlatethepodcast • Website: openlatepodcast.com | jessicaesfandiary.com • Free Resource: Open Late Dictionary • Youtube: Open Late Podcast • What's my relationship style? Take the Open Late Quiz • Join our free chat community, "Open Talks" on WhatsApp The products I love who sponsor this show: •    Cured | Follow this link to check out Zen and receive 20% off all products! •    Honey Pot Lube and Massage Oil OPENLATE20 This show is a Sabbatical Jess Production Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Today Jess is sitting down with Irene Morning, Mind-Body Therapist, to discuss common themes of trauma in relationships and different ways it can show up emotionally and physically. As someone who is non-monogamous herself, she is wonderful guide in helping others identify their different emotions which can happen in any relationship, but tend to bubble up much quicker when in a non-monogamous relationship. Irene shares some tools that help with these issues that even Jessica brings into her relationships and self. In this episode of Open Late • The difference between stress and trauma • Irene shares her origin story of non-monogamy • Deciding how much to communicate about your relationship(s) with your partner(s) • Different skills you need to navigate your relationship in a healthy and healing way Connect with Irene Morning: • Instagram: irene_morning • Website: https://www.irenemorning.com Resources: • The Polyamory Paradox, Irene Morning's upcoming book and launch party, Click here for your free early copy! Connect with Jessica: • Instagram: @journey.with.jessica | @openlatethepodcast • Website: openlatepodcast.com | jessicaesfandiary.com • Free Resource: Open Late Dictionary • Youtube: Open Late Podcast • What's my relationship style? Take the Open Late Quiz • Join our free chat community, "Open Talks" on WhatsApp The products I love who sponsor this show: •    Cured | Follow this link to check out Zen and receive 20% off all products! •    Honey Pot Lube and Massage Oil OPENLATE20 This show is a Sabbatical Jess Production Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

As a special treat for the one year anniversary of Open Late, our fabulous host Jessica sits down with us one on one for a solo episode. We’re celebrating by talking about how Open Late came to fruition, advice and personal experience on opening up to loved ones, and all of the ways the pod has contributed to Jessica’s personal growth! In this episode of Open Late • Jess shares her “why” for starting Open Late Podcast • The personal shame that came up and kept Jess secretive about her relationship • How online bullying was a huge breakthrough and healing process for Jess relationship • How the DM’s and online friendships are real and give life Resources: Shows Mentioned Today • Double Teamed • That Sex Chick • Clit Talk • Desire on Fire • Soulfire Productions Connect with Jessica: • Instagram: @journey.with.jessica | @openlatethepodcast • Website: openlatepodcast.com | jessicaesfandiary.com • Youtube: Open Late Podcast • What's my relationship style? Take the Open Late Quiz • Join our free chat community, "Open Talks" on WhatsApp The products I love who support this show: •    Cured | Follow this link to check out Zen and receive 20% off all products! •    Honey Pot Lube and Massage Oil OPENLATE20 This show is a Sabbatical Jess Production Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Dr. Marie Thouin joins Jessica today to discuss her research and expertise on the topic of compersion. These two talk about the origins of everything from patriarchy to the word compersion. Dr. Marie goes into how to know if you are someone who experiences compersion, and ways to integrate it into your open relationship. She also gives insight into the process of her dissertation and what forms of research she has conducted to become an expert on the topic. She now helps people grow and transition into non-monogamous relationships through her company Love Insight. In this episode of Open Late • Compersion is an experience of empathy, gratitude, and fluidity • Compersion is derived from the spiritual concept "Mudita" or empathic joy, which Buddhist's believe is one of the four paths to enlightenment • The difference between quantitative and qualitative research and how Marie uses them both in her research and work • How shifting to sedentary lifestyles and land ownership was one of the man sources of ownership in relationship Connect with Dr. Marie Thouin: • Instagram: @love_insight_dating Resources: • Learn more about Marie's research at www.whatiscompersion.com, or sign up for a free 30-min exploratory coaching session at www.loveinsight-dating.com! Connect with Jessica: • Instagram: @journey.with.jessica | @openlatethepodcast • Website: openlatepodcast.com | jessicaesfandiary.com • Free Resource: Open Late Dictionary • Youtube: Open Late Podcast • What's my relationship style? Take the Open Late Quiz • Join our free chat community, "Open Talks" on WhatsApp The products I love who sponsor this show: •    Cured | Follow this link to check out Zen and receive 20% off all products! •    Honey Pot Lube and Massage Oil OPENLATE20 This show is produced by Sabbatical Jess Productions Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Today we dive deep into the relationship evolution of Soul Sisters, Aimee and Ellie, meeting in New York and eventually becoming business partners. These babes share how they went from trauma bonding over men to unlearning and relearning how to be intimate with themselves and others to allow a deep and meaningful relationship. We learn all about their journeys of self discovery and taking their mask off to be true to themselves. In this episode of Open Late • Living a life led by desire • The transition from monogamous to monogamish • Healing your relationship with men • First experiences with other women Connect with Aimee and Ellie: • Instagram: @elliemontgomerie | @aimeebatuski | @desireonfire Resources: • Pleasure Challenge Promo: Want to get a taste of Aimee + Ellie’s teaching and the Desire on Fire Community, for FREE? Join The Pleasure Revolution, 5-Day Challenge, September 19-23, 2022. Use the code OPENLATE at checkout, to register for free! www.thepleasurechallenge.com • Desire on Fire Experience Promo: Join us (and 300+ women!) in-person at the Desire on Fire Experience event, Oct 29-30 Southern, California! www.desireonfirelive.com Code: OPENLATE for $200 off the regular ticket price! Connect with Jessica: • Instagram: @journey.with.jessica | @openlatethepodcast • Website: openlatepodcast.com | jessicaesfandiary.com • Free Resource: Open Late Dictionary • Youtube: Open Late Podcast • What's my relationship style? Take the Open Late Quiz • Join our free chat community, "Open Talks" on WhatsApp The products I love who sponsor this show: •    Cured | Follow this link to check out Zen and receive 20% off all products! •    Honey Pot Lube and Massage Oil OPENLATE20 This show is produced by Sabbatical Jess Productions Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

With passion for love, relationships, and sexuality, Elizabeth Cunningham began her journey as a coach to help people discover where their mindset is limiting their potential in love and in life.  In this episode of Open Late • How non-monogamy is an umbrella term • Normal conversations about what turn-ons actually are • How politics and religion are huge a huge influence on relationships •   How a solid relationship foundation helps non-monogamy • How stepping outside of your relationship problems helps resolve them Follow Elizabeth: • IG:@elzcunningham • Website: www.elizabethanncunningham.com The products I love who support this show: • Cured | Follow this link to check out Zen and receive 20% off all products! • Honey Pot Lube and Massage Oil OPENLATE20 Connect with Jessica: • Instagram: @journey.with.jessica | @openlatethepodcast • Website: openlatepodcast.com | jessicaesfandiary.com • Free Resource: Open Late Dictionary • Youtube: Open Late Podcast • What's my relationship style? Take the Open Late Quiz • Join our free chat community, "Open Talks" on WhatsApp Quotes: “People don’t have the inclination to do self-work until they’re in crisis mode.” - EC “Make sure to talk about commitments, agreements, values and be explicit about what that means to you with your partner. “ - EC Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Dana and the Wolf are a pop duo who have found success on TikTok. While being committed to one another, the two decided to open up their relationship. They began documenting their adventures on TikTok, and their popularity quickly skyrocketed. Sharing their openness and their experiences with dating other people has created a sense of community for their relationship and other non-monogamous relationships who watch and follow their content. How social media can bring a sense of community How society has a negative outlook on polyamory due to media Navigating through poly friendly dating apps  The significance of honesty and realness when sharing with their followers What it's like being in the public eye of non monogamy  Follow Dana and the Wolf: • TikTok: @danaandthewolf • IG: @danaandthewolf • Website: www.danaandthewolf.com • Mentions: @pursuitofpoly @annie_undone @polyamfam This show is sponsored by: • Cured | Follow this link to check out Zen and receive 20% off all products! • Honey Pot Lube and Massage Oil OPENLATE20 Connect with Jessica: • Instagram: @journey.with.jessica | @openlatethepodcast • Website: openlatepodcast.com | jessicaesfandiary.com • Free Resource: Open Late Dictionary • Youtube: Open Late Podcast • What's my relationship style? Take the Open Late Quiz • Join our free chat community, "Open Talks" on WhatsApp Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Roxy Ruse discusses the effects of religion on sex and relationships. Being pregnant and exploring her sexuality independently and in her relationship with her partner. In this episode of Open Late • How Roxy realized she was interested in women by allowing herself to be curious • How growing up religious framed Roxys’ outlook on sex, sexuality, and relationships • Roxy’s experience going out and exploring her sexuality while she was pregnant • Roxy decides to open up her marriage with her husband • How opening up her marriage allowed her relationship with her husband and herself flourish • Integrating pleasure back into our lives without shame from a religious upbringing Follow Roxy: • IG: @roxy.ruse • Roxy is an ambassador for @skirtclub   • Website: www.skirtclub.co.uk This show is sponsored by: • Cured | Follow this link to check out Zen and receive 20% off all products! • Honey Pot Lube and Massage Oil OPENLATE20 Connect with Jessica: • Instagram: @journey.with.jessica | @openlatethepodcast • Website: openlatepodcast.com | jessicaesfandiary.com • Free Resource: Open Late Dictionary • Youtube: Open Late Podcast • What's my relationship style? Take the Open Late Quiz • Join our free chat community, "Open Talks" on WhatsApp Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices