A series of guided merciless meditations, aggressive affirmations and maniacal mantras led by morally flexible spiritual advisor Jackie Schimmel. Wellness for the unwell.
Nam Myoho Renge Kyo
Jackie checks in after some solitude to delight you with some traditional relaxation chants courtesy of Buddha and encourage you to love yourself. Produced by Dear Media
3/14/2022 • 13 minutes, 24 seconds
Social Anxiety Solutions
This guided meditation is to help you combat social anxieties through mental reframing, exit strategies and mantra breathwork. Or honestly just ust stay home. Produced By Dear Media
1/23/2022 • 10 minutes, 22 seconds
New Year, Same You.
Let this guided meditation bring you into the New Year with logic and no promise of a brighter tomorrow. Put down your vision boards and reflect on your consistently poor life decisions to abolish the toxic ideals of a fresh start. Produced By Dear Media
1/3/2022 • 11 minutes, 30 seconds
Road Sage
Listen to this soothing meditation whilst experiencing uncontrollable road rage after being tailgated by an electric blue Hyandai with blacked out rims like you are in Fast and the Furious Tokyo Drift. Namaste! Produced By Dear Media
12/13/2021 • 13 minutes
Stretch Betch!
Allegedly stretching is a thing in the wellness community, here is a guided relation stretching exercise that will probably land you in a chiropractor's office. Produced By Dear Media
12/6/2021 • 14 minutes, 46 seconds
STFU
This guided meditation is dedicated to Shaman Schimmel after entering a shame spiral about dominating conversations and hijacking social settings to perform self indulgent monologues because she gets bored with people easily.
11/28/2021 • 12 minutes, 36 seconds
#Blessed
Let this guided meditation assist you in your Thanksgiving mental preparation by exploring the ideals of gratitude and luxuriating in the realities of in-gratitude. Produced By Dear Media
11/22/2021 • 16 minutes
For The Kiddos!
This guided meditation is intended to instill eternal gratitude into your children to unite and prosper the family unit! Produced by Dear Media
11/19/2021 • 12 minutes, 21 seconds
F*ck Your Family
This guided meditation is to alleviate stress cause by upcoming family functions and gives you internal peace and solace to create boundaries. Because blood may be thicker than water but it also stains. Produced By Dear Media
11/8/2021 • 8 minutes, 14 seconds
Trick or Retreat.
Enter the holiday season refreshed and rejuvenated by aligning yourself with nature and forgiving yourself for shoving 18 Kit Kat bars down your throat and giving yourself a yeast infection by dressing up as a sexy kitty. Produced by Dear Media
11/4/2021 • 9 minutes, 13 seconds
Cultivating Girlboss Energy
Did you just open an Etsy shop and hire 13 interns for "experience" as compensation? Did you fracture your dandruff ridden scalp from shattering glass ceilings on the regular? Then this guided meditation is for you girlboss.
10/31/2021 • 14 minutes, 20 seconds
Meditation for Wellness Influencers
Shaman Schimmel guides wellness influencers on a spiritual journey towards self reflection, transparency and internal illumination via ring light. Produced By Dear Media
10/22/2021 • 15 minutes, 39 seconds
Rock Hard Reset
Shaman Schimmel returns by taking inventory of all your failures and guiding you on a new journey of intention and resetting your mundane mindset. Produced By Dear Media
10/11/2021 • 13 minutes, 31 seconds
Music Festival Restoration
Shaman Schimmel helps you restore, recenter and rehabilitate through guided meditation after attending a music festival. Produced By Dear Media
9/22/2021 • 15 minutes, 57 seconds
Male Creative Director Shavasana
This extremely passive aggressive niche guided meditation is for men who refer to themselves as "creative directors" live in Mar Vista and/or Brooklyn and guffaw at anything mainstream. Get a real job loser. Namaste. Produced by Dear Media
9/11/2021 • 14 minutes, 37 seconds
Downward Log
Shaman Schimmel utilizes breathwork, affirmations and yoga poses to stimulate the sphincter and achieve digestive nirvana. Produced by Dear Media
9/5/2021 • 11 minutes, 40 seconds
Nourish Bish.
Nourish and reinvigorate your body and treat it like the temple/ dumpster that encases your spirit. This guided meditation encourages nutrition and incites lifestyle changes. Produced By Dear Media
8/29/2021 • 12 minutes, 40 seconds
Nourish Bish.
Nourish and reinvigorate your body and treat it like the temple/ dumpster that encases your spirit. This guided meditation encourages nutrition and incites lifestyle changes. Produced By Dear Media
8/29/2021 • 0
Negative Affirmations
Let this deeply unsettling lackluster guided meditation encourage self love and acceptance. Produced by Dear Media
8/22/2021 • 10 minutes, 6 seconds
Bridechilla
This guided meditation is intended for brides and the victims left in their wake, to find inner namaste during their oh so special day. Produced By Dear Media
8/14/2021 • 10 minutes, 2 seconds
Buddhi Call
This episode is about accepting your sexually transactional role and empowering your vaginal chakra. Produced by Dear Media
8/11/2021 • 10 minutes, 24 seconds
Wake Up Bitch
This guided meditation is intended to help you rise and shine and tackle the day with mindful perseverance. Produced By Dear Media
8/9/2021 • 9 minutes, 58 seconds
Summertime Sadness
This week's guided meditation is about embracing internal sadness and allowing yourself to wade in the waters of your own tears. Produced By Dear Media
8/6/2021 • 9 minutes, 36 seconds
Harvesting Creativity
Jackie leads an exercise to explore our inner creativity and then gets bored and decides to perform a spoken word poem instead. Produced By Dear Media
7/27/2021 • 13 minutes, 28 seconds
Boundaries Bitch.
This episode is intended to celebrate the beauty of boundaries and to liberate you to enforce them as often as you desire. Produced by Dear Media
7/24/2021 • 13 minutes, 51 seconds
Holistic Hangover Cure
Put down the bloody mary and Tylenol and let this guided meditation soothe you back into the beacon of health, wellness and hydration. Produced By Dear Media
7/20/2021 • 10 minutes, 22 seconds
Before He Cheats
This guided meditation is for anyone suffering from a broken heart looking for spiritual solace and the necessary push to move on. Produced By Dear Media
7/15/2021 • 11 minutes, 54 seconds
Panic Attack
This weeks guided meditation is intended to help you remain calm and regain control of your serotonin levels whilst having a panic attack. You are fucking fine. Produced By Dear Media
7/13/2021 • 11 minutes, 13 seconds
Panic Attack
This weeks guided meditation is intended to help you remain calm and regain control of your serotonin levels whilst having a panic attack. You are fucking fine. Produced By Dear Media
7/13/2021 • 0
Let Freedom Ring
On this weeks spiritual installment, we explore our right to freedom and the power of independence so you can soar like the baldest of proverbial eagles. Produced By Dear Media
7/10/2021 • 12 minutes, 11 seconds
Kale Me
Shaman Schimmel uses meditation to encourage healthy eating habits so you don't die alone shoved to the brim with pork rinds and despair. Produced by Dear Media
6/29/2021 • 15 minutes, 2 seconds
Your Kids Are Annoying
This week's episode is about untethering ourselves to societal niceties and admitting that children are not all gifts to the universe and more often than not, kill the vibe. Produced By Dear Media
6/26/2021 • 13 minutes, 1 second
Financial Abundance
Shaman Schimmel leads you on a spiritual journey to live a life of financial abundance and drip drip divinity. Jeff Besoz and the Dali Llama could never. Produced By Dear Media
6/19/2021 • 14 minutes, 2 seconds
Apology Pathology
In this week's episode, we explore the psychological damage of excess apologizing and work on reprogramming our cerebral reflex to insincerely pursue forgiveness through mantras and role playing therapy. Produced By Dear Media
6/14/2021 • 13 minutes, 42 seconds
Present Yet Absent
This guided meditation teaches you how to be present whilst absent. Because true wellness and self care incorporates both. Preserve your battery. Glaze like a donut. Produced By Dear Media
6/12/2021 • 12 minutes, 45 seconds
Deflect, Deflect, Deflect.
Shaman Jackie Schimmel leads an inspiring morning meditation to minimize your self indulgent problems and pivot accordingly so you can have a nice week. Deflection is a vibe. Produced By Dear Media
6/4/2021 • 11 minutes, 25 seconds
Cerebral Stimulation
Challenge your cerebrality and brain function with this stimulating exercise in reversing your stupidity. Get ready to take on the week with a shrivel of intelligent prowess. Offensive Level 4. Produced By Dear Media
5/28/2021 • 11 minutes, 27 seconds
Absurd Spoken Word
Jackie embraces her creative journey by doing a freestyle fully improvised spoken word episode inspired by the elements of nature, universal affirmations and moral corruption. Love and light. Produced By Dear Media
5/22/2021 • 12 minutes, 52 seconds
Never Forgive, Never Forget
Jackie breaks down the fraudulence of forgiveness and implores you to embrace holding a grudge. We do not dwell, but we do not wish you well. Produced By Dear Media
5/17/2021 • 12 minutes, 45 seconds
Grateful Heart
This week we start the day with a gratitude meditation that will surely fill your heart with extreme appreciation that will lovingly carry throughout your day. Because at least you're not dead. Offensive Level 3. Produced By Dear Media
5/14/2021 • 14 minutes, 38 seconds
Dead As F*ck
Shaman Schimmel offers non traditional grief counseling in the form of reframing, encouraging laughter through trauma and YOLO mentality. Produced By Dear Media
5/7/2021 • 10 minutes, 13 seconds
Move Your Ass
This guided meditation is to encourage physical activity, exercise and healthy lifestyle habits. Offensive Level 4. Produced By Dear Media
5/3/2021 • 12 minutes, 14 seconds
Anger Mismanagement
In today's lesson we learn how to cope and channel inner rage. Because anger deserves expression not suppression and can be a psychotic conduit for action. Offensive Level 4. Produced By Dear Media
4/30/2021 • 13 minutes, 40 seconds
It's Not Them, It's You.
This deep reflective meditation explores the theory that you might be the common denominator in all your life's trials and tribulations. Through harsh realization and metabolizing your myopic narcissism, we hope to achieve a vantage point that makes you less of an asshole. Namaste. Produced By Dear Media
4/26/2021 • 11 minutes, 38 seconds
Go to Fucking Sleep
Let this soothing guided meditation lull you to sleep and help you retrain your barely functioning cerebral cortex to experience the rest you may or may not deserve. Offensive Level 3. Produced by Dear Media
4/23/2021 • 11 minutes, 49 seconds
Cut The Cord.
This guided meditative mantra is about severing toxic relationships and accepting inner hatred. We also explore the possibility that the toxic denominator is you. Offensive Level 3. Produced By Dear Media
4/19/2021 • 10 minutes, 45 seconds
Give Up On Your Dreams
Let this motivating manifesto give you permission to lower expectations for yourself by giving up on unrealistic dreams and accepting your dismal destiny. Produced By Dear Media
4/16/2021 • 11 minutes, 39 seconds
Self Esteem Requiem
Start your week of with a Monday mantra centered in self love. You may not be the most attractive, intellectual or kind but at least you’re alive. Produced by Dear Media
4/12/2021 • 11 minutes, 7 seconds
Desensitized Divinity
This episode will help emotionally, physically and cerebrally prepare you for the spiritual journey ahead. Because what offends you, descends you. Produced By Dear Media
4/9/2021 • 9 minutes, 29 seconds
MIND. BODY. NO SOUL.
This series led by Shaman Jackie Schimmel was created to eradicate toxic positivity, broaden your spiritual horizons and encourage self care through laughter and moral flexibility. Welcome to the future of wellness. Produced By Dear Media
4/9/2021 • 9 minutes, 19 seconds
Mind Body No Soul Coming Soon!
A series of guided merciless meditations, aggressive affirmations and maniacal mantras led by morally flexible spiritual advisor Jackie Schimmel. Wellness for the unwell.