You’ve probably heard of new relationship energy (NRE) but we’re more interested in the idea of old relationship energy. So let’s talk about it. In this episode We’re celebrating the Kinkery’s 4th anniversary with... The post Old Relationship Energy in Power Exchange appeared first on Loving BDSM.

We’re back and coming in hot with a BDSM Reddit response/reaction episode! In this episode: This week’s episode is sponsored by Flure, a welcome, inclusive, and kink-friendly dating app. There’s no episode next Monday.... The post BDSM Reddit Response appeared first on Loving BDSM.

In this week’s episode, a kinky couple has gone through a few shifts in their relationship and now things are a little off. Can they go back to normal? Here’s the question: My sub... The post Q&A: Can We Go Back to Normal? appeared first on Loving BDSM.

This week, we talk about the thing that anyone who’s ever had a D/s relationship knows…life will definitely interfere with your power exchange. In this episode, we talk about some of the most common... The post When Life Interferes with Your Power Exchange | Back to Basics Series appeared first on Loving BDSM.

A submissive isn’t having a good time during scenes with their nervous Domme — and is getting more and more frustrated. Here’s the question: Hello! So I’m in a relationship with a woman who... The post Q&A: How Do I Enjoy Scenes with a Nervous Domme? appeared first on Loving BDSM.

We’ve been getting the same type of question recently…Where do I find a Dom? How do I find a submissive? So let’s talk about it this week. In this episode: Thanks to Flure for... The post Where to Find a Dominant or Submissive Partner | Back to Basics Series appeared first on Loving BDSM.

A kinkster wants to take things further with their partner – who isn’t interested in being a submissive. Here’s the question: My wife and I have been married for almost 20 years. We have... The post Q&A: Is It Okay to Enjoy Our Power Dynamic Without Labeling It? appeared first on Loving BDSM.

You’ve figured out you’re kinky, met a partner (or talked to your current partner), and negotiated a power exchange. Yay! And also…there are a few challenges to be aware of as you navigate your... The post What to Watch Out for in New D/s Relationships | Back to Basics Series appeared first on Loving BDSM.

This week, we’re answering a question from a submissive who wants to get back to a more primal, CNC, sadomasochistic way of playing with their partner but old memories from another relationship are holding... The post Q&A: How Do I Move Past Bad Memories to Enjoy Old Kinks? appeared first on Loving BDSM.

In the next episode of our Back to Basics series, we’re discussing consent in D/s relationships. In this episode: Get the Kink Bundle while it’s available! Check out the Loving BDSM Etsy shop. This... The post Consent in D/s Relationships | Back to Basics appeared first on Loving BDSM.

This week, a kinkster wants to get back into their local community but wants to avoid someone who seems to be an unsafe kinkster. Note: Content warning for brief mention of suicide, abusive behavior,... The post Q&A: Can I Avoid an Active Member in My Local Community? appeared first on Loving BDSM.

We’re starting a new “back to basics” series for power exchange. The topics may be things we’ve talked about in the past, but with 400+ episodes, it’s probably been a while since we talked... The post Starting a New D/s Relationship | Back to Basics appeared first on Loving BDSM.

This week, a Daddy Dom worries that they aren’t being a good Dom because they promise fuckery at the end of the day and then change their mind. Here’s the question: Am I unreliable... The post Q&A: Am I an Unreliable Dominant? appeared first on Loving BDSM.

We asked for your questions over at that handle we hate on Instagram, and you delivered! In this episode: The Kinkery is having a sale through Labor Day! JB’s vanilla Etsy shop “sponsored” us,... The post Kinky Q&A appeared first on Loving BDSM.

We’re a bit late to our own party, but we’re celebrating our 9th podcast anniversary! We’re sharing things we’ve learned, discovered, and figured out about ourselves and our power exchange relationship after nine years... The post Things We’ve Learned About Power Exchange in Nine Years of Podcasting appeared first on Loving BDSM.

This week, a kinkster is figuring out their switchy self but isn’t sure how to navigate wanting different things in different ways than their partner. Here’s the question: My husband and I have been... The post Q&A: Can We Be Switches in Different Ways and Still Have a Good D/s Relationship? appeared first on Loving BDSM.

With great power comes great responsibility…or something like that. The weight of the responsibility a Dom carries can sometimes feel like pressure, so let’s talk about it. But it’s worth noting that the power... The post The Pressures and Privileges of Dominance appeared first on Loving BDSM.

After life got in the way, this kinky couple is ready to get back to their fuckery – including free use – but the Dominant partner isn’t initiating, even after plenty of communication. Here’s... The post Q&A: How Can My Dom Become Comfortable Initiating Free Use? appeared first on Loving BDSM.

Anyone and everyone can experience imposter syndrome. While it’s most common in professional settings, it’s definitely possible in personal situations – like your kink life. In this episode: The Kinkery exists! What is imposter... The post Imposter Syndrome in Power Exchange and Kink appeared first on Loving BDSM.

We’re willing to bet that this question comes up more than some Dominants are willing to admit. Here’s the full question: What should you do if you’re a dom who doesn’t want to take... The post Q&A: What If a Dom Doesn’t Always Want to Lead? appeared first on Loving BDSM.

This week, we react/respond to BDSM questions shared on the kinky side of Reddit. In this episode: Oh yeah, Kayla has a vanilla Etsy shop that’s book-themed. If you’re into that kind of thing.... The post BDSM Reddit Response appeared first on Loving BDSM.

A kinkster wants to know when the right time is to take things from dating apps or Fetlife to in person. Here’s the question: How do I know when to move from a dating... The post Q&A: When is the Right Time to Meet in Real Life? appeared first on Loving BDSM.

This week, we’re letting Therapy Jeff tell us what to talk about – by answering several “cute and spicy” relationship questions he posted about on Instagram (and probably TikTok too). In this episode: There’s... The post Answering Cute and Spicy Questions appeared first on Loving BDSM.

A submissive has gone through a lot with their Dominant partner with consent violations, a broken D/s agreement, and just being made to feel awful. And they want to know if it’s possible to... The post Q&A: How Do I Trust My Dom Again? appeared first on Loving BDSM.

A moment when Kayla admitted wrongdoing has us thinking about the concept of “radical honesty” which potentially has a deeper meaning for kinksters in general. In this episode Register for the free and online... The post Radical Honesty in Power Exchange appeared first on Loving BDSM.

A submissive who was once the Dominant in their power exchange wants to add their Dom energy back to the dynamic but isn’t sure how to talk to their partner about it. Here’s the... The post Q&A: How Do I Tell My Partner I Want to Switch? appeared first on Loving BDSM.

External (extrinsic) motivation is about doing something because of outside expectations – your partner set a task, you were asked to do something, etc. It might be something you know needs to be done,... The post Needing External Motivation in Power Exchange appeared first on Loving BDSM.

We’ve experienced “task creep” – the act of taking on tasks/routines that weren’t specifically negotiated. Thankfully for us, we figured it out quickly and worked it out in a quick conversation. But like job... The post Task Creep in Power Exchange appeared first on Loving BDSM.

We don’t know how we’ve made it to 400 full-length episodes, either, but here we are! We didn’t get a lot of questions for this one, so we just sort of chatted until we... The post Celebrating 400 Episodes with Kinky Q&A appeared first on Loving BDSM.

We’re one week away from our 400th episode, so we’re starting the celebration early with a BDSM Reddit response episode! In this episode: Ask your questions for our Monday episodes. We’re celebrating 10,000 subscribers... The post BDSM Reddit Response appeared first on Loving BDSM.

Most kinksters aren’t communicating too much, but some of us (like Kayla) could be, so let’s talk about it. In this episode: We need your questions for our Monday episodes. The most common issue... The post Over Communication in Power Exchange appeared first on Loving BDSM.

A submissive has a recurring issue about aftercare with their Dominant partner and wants to know: are they the problem or is it me? Here’s the question: I’ve been dating a dom for about... The post Q&A: Is My Dom the Problem or Am I? appeared first on Loving BDSM.

We joke about Kayla’s control issues, but they’re definitely a thing we both have to navigate in our power exchange. In this episode: We joke about Kayla’s control issues all the time.  The stereotype... The post Submission With Control Issues appeared first on Loving BDSM.

This week, a submissive is ready to get back to their previous kink life but their partner might not be as ready. Here’s the question: I have a question with no easy answer. I... The post Q&A: How Do We Get Our Kink Life Back After Having a Baby? appeared first on Loving BDSM.

Hair pulling inspired this week’s episode – because it was a grounding and/or centering moment in kink. So let’s talk about it. In this episode: Friday night live stream on May 17 starting at... The post What Grounds or Centers You in Kink? appeared first on Loving BDSM.

A submissive needs more commands and strictness from their Dominant to feel the power exchange, but they’re not getting what they need. Here’s the question: My kind sadist seems to be under the impression... The post Q&A: How Do I Help My Dom Act More Commanding? appeared first on Loving BDSM.

Each partner has responsibilities to the other, to yourselves, and to the power exchange relationship. We’ve talked about this in the distant past, but it’s worth discussing again. In this episode: This week’s episode... The post Responsibilities to Your Power Exchange appeared first on Loving BDSM.

This week, a kinkster asks if it’s time to let their kinky relationship go. Here’s the question: My BDSM relationship is disintegrating. I don’t know what to do. Other than let him go and... The post Q&A: Should I Just Let My BDSM Relationship End? appeared first on Loving BDSM.

This week we answer relationship questions that are supposed to make us feel “warm and fuzzy.” In this episode: Our Wednesday live streams are changing times starting May 8 from 12pm ET to 7pm... The post Answering Feel Good Relationship Questions appeared first on Loving BDSM.

This week, a submissive has been assigned the task of coming up with ideas for punishments and rewards in their new D/s relationship, and they’re not what to put on their list. Here’s the... The post Q&A: What Make Good Punishments and Rewards? appeared first on Loving BDSM.

If Kayla Rants™ are one of your kinks, our BDSM Reddit episodes are made for you. In this week’s Reddit response, we talk about spanking “ugly” butts, learning to be a Dominant, soft limit... The post BDSM Reddit Response appeared first on Loving BDSM.

This week’s question is something both of us have dealt with – and there aren’t any easy answers. Here’s the question: How do you handle family members and/or friends who disagree with your kink... The post Q&A: What Do I When People Reject Me For Being Kinky? appeared first on Loving BDSM.

We didn’t have it in us to focus on a single topic, so this is a bonus section episode – rambly, pointless, and chaotic (on purpose!). If you prefer a topic-based discussion, feel free... The post A Bonus Section Episode appeared first on Loving BDSM.

A kinkster feels like they’re the only monogamous person in their local kink community, and it’s really bothering them. Here’s the question: I recently got involved with a local kink community, although I’ve been... The post Q&A: Are Most Kinky People Also Non-Monogamous? appeared first on Loving BDSM.

This week’s topic came straight from a recent Patreon live stream where we were asked about how to be confident in a power exchange dynamic and within your kink identity. Here are our thoughts.... The post Building Confidence in D/s and Your Kink Identity appeared first on Loving BDSM.

We are so sorry for the sound quality on this episode. We knew we had issues with the video, but we didn’t realize the mics wouldn’t be picked up when we switched cameras. The... The post Q&A: What Kinky Lingerie Options Are Available for Big Breasts? appeared first on Loving BDSM.

We are so sorry about the audio quality! We had tech issues for the live stream/video side of things and didn’t realize until afterwards that the fix for the video had caused our mics... The post Do Submissives Really Have All the Power in D/s? appeared first on Loving BDSM.

A kinkster’s ex-spouse figured out they were kinky during the divorce, and it impacted the divorce decree. Now they want to introduce their sub but are worried about being found out later. Here’s the... The post How Do I Introduce My Kink Partner and Honor the Requirements of My Divorce? appeared first on Loving BDSM.

We’re back from our break and answering some random relationship questions we found on Instagram! In this episode: Get your free ticket to the Dom/sub Dynamics Virtual Summit, April 8-11! Questions: What’s your favorite... The post Answering Random But “Deep” Relationship Questions appeared first on Loving BDSM.

A kinkster is part of their local community but still finds it difficult to make connections, especially with a possible long term partner. Here’s the question: I’ve been an active member of the community... The post Q&A: How Do I Connect With People in My Local Kink Community? appeared first on Loving BDSM.

We’re going on break next week but before we do, we asked for your kinky hot takes and unpopular opinions over on Instagram! Here’s what we think… In this episode: We’re taking next week... The post Responding to Your Kinky Hot Takes and Unpopular Opinions appeared first on Loving BDSM.

A kinkster had a question about specific items they wanted to use in kink which gave us a great excuse to talk about pervertables in general! Here’s the question: I am on a budget.... The post Q&A: Will These Household Items Work as Pervertables? appeared first on Loving BDSM.

For this week’s episode, we asked for your questions over on Instagram. In this episode: Check out our newest products on our Etsy shop! Disclaimer: Yes, we’re answering the questions that allow us to... The post Ask Us Anything! appeared first on Loving BDSM.

The person who submitted this question said it was complex, and they weren’t wrong. Here’s the question: I have a question on how to handle loyalty conflicts in complex situations. I live in Europe,... The post Q&A: How Do I Navigate a Complex Poly and Kink Relationship with Two Partners? appeared first on Loving BDSM.

This week’s episode isn’t meant to be a continuation of the pleasure Dom discussion from last week – though it seems that way. Instead it’s a reminder to (too many) kinksters that yes, submissives... The post Submission and Pleasure appeared first on Loving BDSM.

This week’s question comes from a submissive who’s getting their desire for kink and sex back but doesn’t want to feel like they’re telling their Dom what to do. Here’s the question: I (31F... The post Q&A: How Do I Let My Dom Know I’m Ready for Sex and Kink Without Feeling Like I’m Initiating Play? appeared first on Loving BDSM.

Pleasure Dominant is a relatively new term, probably born from the internet, but what does it even mean? Let’s talk about it. In this episode: New products available on our Etsy shop! Disclaimer: Regardless... The post What is a Pleasure Dom? appeared first on Loving BDSM.

This week’s question comes from a submissive who wants to be told what to do in power exchange, but their Dominant can’t handle the mental load. Here’s the question: I ask my Dom, “What... The post What Do I Do When My Dominant Can’t Handle the Mental Load? appeared first on Loving BDSM.

It’s been too long since we’ve responded to the BDSM side of Reddit, so here we are! In this episode: We’re live streaming on Friday, February 16 at 9:30pm ET. Help kinksters in Atlanta... The post BDSM Reddit Response appeared first on Loving BDSM.

A kinkster wants to be their most authentic self with a close friend but isn’t sure it’s working. Here’s the question: I am currently struggling in a friendship and wondered if yall had any... The post Q&A: Can I Be My Authentic Kinky Self With a Vanilla Friend? appeared first on Loving BDSM.

Think of this like a “state of the union” but for a D/s relationship – specifically ours. In this episode: One week left of our Patreon membership drive! Thanks to Beducated for sponsoring this... The post The State of Our Power Exchange appeared first on Loving BDSM.

In this week’s question, a kinkster wants to explore their Dominant side and wonders if they can use that to work through their anger. Here’s the question: I’m a submissive but I may be... The post Q&A: Is Anger Part of Dominance? appeared first on Loving BDSM.

We’ve talked about age differences in D/s relationships before, but this time, let’s discuss the perception/belief that “all” age gaps are bad or predatory, and why we (mostly) disagree. In this episode: Sales at... The post Age Gaps in Power Exchange appeared first on Loving BDSM.

In this week’s question, a submissive asks how they can keep things going in their D/s even while apart. Here’s the question: How can I make the most out of my long distance D/s... The post Q&A: How Do We Make the Most of Our LDR? appeared first on Loving BDSM.

This week’s episode was inspired by a conversation we recently had about how we behave and act as Dom and sub and how that doesn’t always match the way we’d like to behave and... The post How We Show Up in Our D/s Relationship appeared first on Loving BDSM.

There’s no episode this week because JB got sick and needed to rest. As of the day this commercial-like episode goes live, he’s feeling a bit better and is moving around a bit. Normally... The post A Commercial Break Ramble appeared first on Loving BDSM.

In this week’s question, this couple asks a question that a lot of kinksters have gone through — how to go from a vanilla relationship to a D/s relationship? Here’s the question: My husband... The post How Do We Renegotiate Our Marriage For D/s? appeared first on Loving BDSM.

When we started researching this episode, we thought it would just be on the concept of sexual free use in power exchange. But there was so much more that we had to talk about... The post Free Use and Blanket Consent in Power Exchange appeared first on Loving BDSM.

In this week’s episode, we answer a question from a submissive who wants punishment outside of a fun, sexual moment but doesn’t know how to get it. Here’s the question: I’m in a wlw... The post Q&A: How Do I Get Kinky Punishment Without Sex? appeared first on Loving BDSM.

In what seems to be a new tradition, we’re sharing our plans and goals for 2024 and reviewing our goals from 2023. In this episode: Join us on Patreon! Going over our 2023 goals... The post Our 2024 Kinky Goals and Plans appeared first on Loving BDSM.

In this week’s episode, a Dominant worries their submissive expects certain rules due to their past trauma and not because of the dynamic, and they don’t know how to stop worrying. Here’s the question:... The post Q&A: Is This Past Trauma or a New Beginning for My Submissive? appeared first on Loving BDSM.

This week, on our way out for a two week break, we’re doing the last BDSM Reddit response episode of 2023! There be rants ahead… In this episode: We’re going live Friday, December 15... The post BDSM Reddit Response appeared first on Loving BDSM.

In this week’s episode, someone asks how to negotiate with someone who doesn’t even really know if they like kink yet. Here’s the question: Hey long time listener enjoying most of your long ones... The post How Do I Negotiate When They Want to Experiment With Kink? appeared first on Loving BDSM.

We’re back for another BDSM in the news episode, talking about articles we’ve come across that focuses on or mentions kink in some way. These articles have been included in recent newsletters, and we... The post BDSM in the News appeared first on Loving BDSM.

In this week’s Q&A episode, a submissive likes the positive reinforcement of rewards in their dynamic, but they don’t feel like they’re getting enough or the right kind they want and need. Here’s the... The post Can a Submissive Negotiate Their Rewards? appeared first on Loving BDSM.

We were inspired by Therapy Jeff on Instagram again and decided to answer questions he advises people to ask to figure out how well they know their partner. In this episode: Join us on... The post How Well Do We Know Each Other | Answering Relationship Questions appeared first on Loving BDSM.

In this week’s Q&A episode, a submissive can’t wrap their mind around the kinky scene their Dom wants. Here’s the question: What to do when your Dom brings up a kink that is not... The post What Do I Do When My Dominant Wants Something Silly? appeared first on Loving BDSM.

Things happened this week that derailed the podcast a bit – plus we’re getting ready for Black Friday for our shop(s) – so we kept it simple for ourselves with a bonus section episode.... The post Pure Randomness | A Bonus Section Episode appeared first on Loving BDSM.

Even if your kink life and/or power exchange relationship feel natural and good, that doesn’t mean it’ll always be easy. On the other hand, sometimes the parts you thought would be the most difficult... The post What We Find Easy and Hard About Kink appeared first on Loving BDSM.

This week’s question takes a turn from where you think it’s going based on the title. They were in a long distance D/s relationship for six years. Once they moved in together, all the... The post How Can We Have the D/s We Planned While We Were LDR? appeared first on Loving BDSM.

We’re back for another look at what certain terms (that you may or may not have heard of before) mean and how we feel about them. This time, we’re talking about brat tamer and... The post Brat Tamer vs Brat Handler appeared first on Loving BDSM.

This week’s question is similar to a previous episode about how a submissive gets their needs fulfilled. But in this situation, this isn’t about preventing it from happening but figuring out what to do... The post What Do I Do When My Dom Leaves Me Hanging? appeared first on Loving BDSM.

We celebrated our wedding anniversary on October 28, and that particular milestone got me thinking about how much we’ve both grown and changed over the years. This week’s episode is all about what changes... The post Changes We See In Each Other After a Decade appeared first on Loving BDSM.

Yes, another one, lol. But we promise we have a very good reason. JB is under the weather, but insisted on recording, so we needed something easy to talk about. Ranting over the antics... The post BDSM Reddit Response appeared first on Loving BDSM.

This week, we’re talking about something that might be more common than you think — needing to plan and schedule your kink scenes but feeling like that kills the spontaneity. Here’s the question: How... The post How Do I Get More Kinky Fun When I Hate Planning For It? appeared first on Loving BDSM.

Buckle up, y’all, this episode is a ranty one. Too many times we’ve heard, “Relationships are hard!” But we don’t believe they’re meant to be hard. Instead, they require effort and sometimes hard work.... The post The Difference Between Power Exchange Relationships Being Hard vs Requiring Effort appeared first on Loving BDSM.

This week, we answer a question that a lot of submissives have at some point in their kink life — how to get your own needs fulfilled while fulfilling your Dominant’s needs, too. Here’s... The post How Do I Make Sure My Submissive Needs Are Fulfilled? appeared first on Loving BDSM.

I (Kayla) am often in a silly, goofy mood, and thankfully JB either is or will play along. So let’s talk about it from a power exchange perspective. In this episode There are several... The post Silliness and Playfulness in D/s Relationships appeared first on Loving BDSM.

It’s our first Q&A episode! These will be short episodes that focus on a single question that we’ll answer with our D/s perspective. Here’s the question we received: “I recently got out of a... The post How Can I Be Vulnerable With New Dom After Bad Vanilla Break-up? appeared first on Loving BDSM.

This week, we’re talking about the results of a “survey/study” we received from Kinky Cloth. They used Google search data to figure out the kinkiest states in the US, as well as the most... The post Top 10 Kinkiest States, Sex Toys, and Fetishes appeared first on Loving BDSM.

Another week, another BDSM Reddit response episode — and this one has some heavy topics. Including one that comes with a content warning. If that section is something you want to avoid, skip ahead... The post BDSM Reddit Response appeared first on Loving BDSM.

This week’s episode is brought to you by our own personal stressors and more inspiration from Therapy Jeff! We’ve mentioned in the past that – when you can – it can be helpful to... The post Navigating Stress Before It Happens in D/s Relationships appeared first on Loving BDSM.

After an unplanned week off, we’re back with a topic that we know too many people have faced — breadcrumbing. We’re talking about what it is, what it can look like in power exchange... The post Breadcrumbing vs Doing the Little Things in D/s Relationships appeared first on Loving BDSM.

Thanks to Hurricane Idalia, we were a little out of sorts this week. The storm missed us, thankfully, but our heads weren’t in it, so we turned this week into a bonus section/random episode... The post A Random Episode appeared first on Loving BDSM.

We let y’all help us out over on Instagram this week and asked for kinky hot takes and unpopular opinions. We’re also celebrating our 8th podcast anniversary with a huge giveaway! That part took... The post Responding to Kinky Hot Takes and Unpopular Opinions appeared first on Loving BDSM.

Those of a certain age might recognize that line. It’s from En Vogue’s My Lovin’ (You’re Never Gonna Get It). “Never gonna get it, never gonna get it!” If that song is in your... The post And Now for a Break(Down) appeared first on Loving BDSM.

This week, before we take a week off, we’re answering you asked over at the handle I will forever fucking hate on Instagram! In this episode: We’re on a break next week. We have... The post BDSM Q&A appeared first on Loving BDSM.

This week, we’re responding to BDSM questions and situations kinksters have shared on the BDSM side of Reddit! In this episode: Join our kinky community on Patreon! Submissive who doesn’t want to follow rules... The post BDSM Reddit Response appeared first on Loving BDSM.

This week, we’re answering more non-kinky relationship questions. These came from a marriage coach on Instagram who labeled these questions as conversation starters to deepen your connection. We’ll see about that, lol. In this... The post Answering More Non-Kinky Relationship Questions appeared first on Loving BDSM.

Pay attention to the air quotes because in this conversation, we had serious questions about this list. Joy Love Dolls compiled a list of the “most popular” kinks and fetishes using Google search data,... The post Most “Popular” Kinks and Fetishes appeared first on Loving BDSM.

Back in January we talked about how we’d started an OnlyFans page for our kinky fuckery and mentioned we might do a six-month update. Well, here it is! In this episode: Consider this episode... The post Our Kink Life on OnlyFans appeared first on Loving BDSM.

The real question is: Should D/s relationships be 50/50? We have definite opinions on this one. In this episode: Subscribe to our weekly newsletter and get a free BDSM checklist! This week’s episode was... The post Are D/s Relationships 50/50? appeared first on Loving BDSM.

In this week’s podcast episode, we’re focusing on the positive and looking at how kink and power exchange have improved our lives – both as individuals and as a couple. In this episode: We... The post How D/s Has Improved Our Lives appeared first on Loving BDSM.

We thought this was a “No thoughts, just vibes” kind of episode – because we didn’t have the energy to focus on a topic and there’s just been a lot going on lately. And... The post Bonus Section Episode appeared first on Loving BDSM.

This week, we’re talking about the mental load each partner carries in power exchange. It’s a topic that touches on a lot of previous conversations: decision fatigue, burnout, the need for self-care, and on... The post Mental Load in Power Exchange appeared first on Loving BDSM.

We’re baaaaa-aaaaaack! Our break was good but now we want to have a bit of fun, so let’s respond to kinky situations shared on Reddit! In this episode: Try out our Patreon free for... The post BDSM Reddit Response appeared first on Loving BDSM.

We’re back with another episode where we answer relationship questions we found online. These questions are meant to help partners get back in touch with how much they love each other. And we found... The post Answering Relationship Questions to Reconnect appeared first on Loving BDSM.

We’re hitting a lot of milestones after 10 years in a D/s relationship. One we didn’t expect is that how we’re negotiating parts of our dynamic has changed. Here’s what that looks like for... The post How Our D/s Negotiations Have Changed Over Time appeared first on Loving BDSM.

We’re trying something new, and it’s based off of our weekly newsletter. Each week, we include a section called BDSM in the News and share articles Kayla finds about BDSM and kink. Some are... The post BDSM in the News appeared first on Loving BDSM.

Procrastination shows up in so many parts of our lives. Does that include our D/s relationships and kinky fuckery? Let’s talk about it! In this episode: Check out the kink resources we recommend including... The post Procrastination in Power Exchange appeared first on Loving BDSM.

Ever feel like you could not make one more decision! As a Dom or a sub? Us too. So let’s talk about it! In this episode: We do all the things! Links below, lol.... The post Decision Fatigue in D/s Relationships appeared first on Loving BDSM.

We’re back with another BDSM Reddit response episode! Thanks to silentwinged who sent us a few questions to look at plus we found a couple on our own. One had Kayla’s blood boiling and... The post BDSM Reddit Response appeared first on Loving BDSM.

We’re back with a Q&A episode! We asked for questions over on that handle Kayla fucking hates on Instagram and then took questions from the YouTube live stream. In this episode: Join us on... The post BDSM Q&A appeared first on Loving BDSM.

This week, things get a bit heavy as we discuss our (ongoing) experiences with depression as a Dom and sub in a power exchange relationship. We don’t get into too many details but if... The post Our Experience with D/s and Depression appeared first on Loving BDSM.

A post on Reddit got us talking about topping from the bottom…seven years after the first time we talked about it! While a lot of the sentiments are the same, this is a different... The post Topping from the Bottom | Revisiting Old Episodes appeared first on Loving BDSM.

We’re using quotes in the title for a reason, y’all! Is the Bible Belt kinkier than most people probably realize? Absolutely! Does this survey prove that? Ehhhhhh….let’s talk about it. In this episode We... The post Survey “Reveals” How Kinky the Bible Belt Is appeared first on Loving BDSM.

In this week’s episode, we’re taking a question we received in a previous Q&A and expanding it to a full conversation. The question: How do I figure out my kink style and identity? These... The post Figuring Out Your Kinky Self appeared first on Loving BDSM.

We’ve discussed aspects of sensation play – pain, wax, electroplay – many times in the past, but we’ve never discussed the broader topic of sensation play. Until now! Is this fully comprehensive? Of course... The post Sensation Play appeared first on Loving BDSM.

In this week’s episode, we take “silly but serious” questions posed by a therapist on social media and answer them from the perspective of our long-term D/s relationship. In this episode: Register for the... The post Answering Silly But Serious Relationship Questions appeared first on Loving BDSM.

We needed an easy one this week – as we’re both still recovering from being sick – so we went with a response to questions asked on the BDSM side of Reddit. In this... The post BDSM Reddit Response appeared first on Loving BDSM.

This week’s episode is similar to other episodes in the archive but with a twist. Yes, we’re talking about what we’ve learned over the years but with a focus on how we’ve changed and,... The post How We’ve Evolved in BDSM and D/s appeared first on Loving BDSM.

JB said he wanted to stream/record but that, and he wasn’t “firing on all cylinders.” So we turned this week’s into a big (to us) announcement and a bonus section episode. In this episode:... The post Bonus Section Episode appeared first on Loving BDSM.

We’ve teased this topic over the past several weeks, and we’re finally getting to it – the division of labor in your home and family while you also try to live your best D/s... The post Division of Labor in Power Exchange appeared first on Loving BDSM.

It’s the first episode of 2023 so we’re sharing our personal and professional goals and plans for the year! This episode actually focuses more on the personal side – both as individuals and our... The post Our 2023 Plans and Goals appeared first on Loving BDSM.

For this last episode before we take a couple of weeks off, we’re responding to questions and situations shared on the BDSM side of Reddit. And yes, there are rants in this one. In... The post BDSM Reddit Response appeared first on Loving BDSM.

We asked for your questions over at that handle we fucking hate on Instagram, and y’all delivered! We got so many we couldn’t answer them all! If you have BDSM-related questions for us, we... The post BDSM Q&A appeared first on Loving BDSM.

Ten years ago from the time we recorded this week’s episode, we were “meeting” each other through blog comments. On December 23, it will be ten years since our first conversation. Next year, we’ll... The post What We’ve Learned After a Decade Together appeared first on Loving BDSM.

It’s that time of year again — time to talk about the sex toys we’ve loved this year, plus some Black Friday sales and specials. Because no one should pay full price for fuckery,... The post Our Favorite Sex Toys of 2022 appeared first on Loving BDSM.

This week is a bit different but something we’ve wanted to do a while. Our dear friend, Professor Sex, finished their thesis several months ago and generously allowed us to discuss their work on... The post Research on Kink Behavior vs. Kink Identity appeared first on Loving BDSM.

The topic of toxic masculinity — in power exchange and kink or not — is a huge one. But as with all of these conversations, we have to start somewhere. In this week’s episode,... The post Toxic Masculinity in Power Exchange | A Dominant’s Perspective appeared first on Loving BDSM.

Spoiler: This episode is about sex, and it’s a TMI episode about the two of us, our sexual fantasies, turn-ons, and more. If that’s more than you want to hear, feel free to skip... The post Answering Spicy Questions appeared first on Loving BDSM.

We mentioned something in last week’s episode on people-pleasing — about needing to talk to JB about a stressor Kayla tried to handle alone — and it got us thinking about the things we... The post Sharing Burdens in Power Exchange appeared first on Loving BDSM.

People pleasing happens for a lot of reasons, and it manifests in a lot of ways. We’re talking about it this week, specifically as it relates to power exchange and D/s, based (primarily) on... The post People Pleasing in Power Exchange appeared first on Loving BDSM.

We’ve talked about intimacy before — link below — but this time, a post on Instagram gave me (Kayla) some specific examples of intimacy beyond the obvious. Also, yes, this is a solo episode... The post Different Types of Intimacy in Kink appeared first on Loving BDSM.

This week’s episode was recorded while we waited for Hurricane Ian, so it’s more chaotic than usual. Also, we took help from kinksters over on Instagram. We asked, “What do you wish people (including... The post What Kinksters Want Others to Stop Getting Wrong About Kink appeared first on Loving BDSM.

This week, we’re reacting (or responding) to the BDSM questions asked on Reddit! In this episode: Live Stream/Virtual Munch this Friday, September 16! We’re taking next week off. Reacting/responding to BDSM questions from Reddit... The post BDSM Reddit Reaction appeared first on Loving BDSM.

This week, we answered listener questions about a variety of topics: masochism, kinky bucket lists, non-monogamy, and more! In this episode: Our first scene experience Where are all the middles? How do we deal... The post BDSM Q&A appeared first on Loving BDSM.

This week, let’s talk about voice kinks: what are they and do we have any? In this episode: Defining voice kinks What we like about voices Do we have a voice kink? Thanks to... The post Voice Kinks appeared first on Loving BDSM.

This week, we’re talking about anger, upset, and other negative feelings specifically in terms of submission. How do you submit when you’re angry at your Dom? The answer is…it depends. In this episode: Want... The post Submitting While Angry or Upset appeared first on Loving BDSM.

This week, we get personal — more than usual — and have a formal check-in of our D/s relationship. We tend to do this on a frequent and casual basis, bringing up concerns or... The post Checking in on Our D/s Relationship appeared first on Loving BDSM.

In this week’s podcast, we discuss the term “service top” — and there are a lot of ways to define it! In this episode: Multiple definitions of service top What it means to us... The post What is a Service Top? appeared first on Loving BDSM.

We (kind of) get where this question comes from — submissives are seen to bend to the will of their Dominant partner, submissive training and behavior modification are tools used in some D/s relationships.... The post Does a Submissive Have to Change in D/s? appeared first on Loving BDSM.

In this week’s episode, we took questions from Instagram and then from the YouTube live chat. Plus, the bonus section actually has bonus content about our power exchange. (Proving miracles can happen.) In this... The post BDSM Q&A appeared first on Loving BDSM.

We’re back with another BDSM Reddit reaction episode! And for once, the answer to all of these posts was something other than, “Talk to your partner!” In this episode: Why the podcast was late... The post BDSM Reddit Reaction appeared first on Loving BDSM.

A term keeps popping up in Kayla’s feeds: conscious kink. But what does that even mean? Is it a new way of thinking about BDSM or is it a catch-all term used in marketing?... The post What is Conscious Kink? appeared first on Loving BDSM.

It might seem like a random topic but the joy we’ve felt (at times) in our power exchange is so powerful and amazing that it’s important to acknowledge. And also, we can’t be the... The post Joy in D/s Relationships appeared first on Loving BDSM.

In this week’s episode, we talk about the label “alpha sub” — how it was defined when we first heard of it and what it means to many people today. In this episode: Thanks... The post What is an Alpha Sub? appeared first on Loving BDSM.

John Brownstone posed an interesting question when thinking about power exchange relationships and new potential partners: What do you bring to the table as a kinkster and just as a person? So that’s what... The post What Do You Bring to the Table? appeared first on Loving BDSM.

A listener sent us a question about telling the difference between love bombing and being an eager caregiver type with new relationship energy (NRE). We decided to talk about love bombing, ideas for figuring... The post Love Bombing and Power Exchange appeared first on Loving BDSM.

This week, we’re revisiting a topic we talked about back in 2019: teamwork in power exchange. The conversation focuses on a book we recently read specifically on the idea of having a dynamic built... The post Collaboration and Teamwork appeared first on Loving BDSM.

Not every power exchange relationship needs (or wants!) an element of discipline, punishment, and consequences. But for those who do, there are a lot of things to keep in mind. This week, we’re sharing... The post Minisode 56: Punishment Tips appeared first on Loving BDSM.

This week we’re talking about something near and dear to our experience — perfectionism, and how it can impact your power exchange relationship and you as a kinkster, regardless of your role. In this... The post Perfectionism in Power Exchange appeared first on Loving BDSM.

We’re baaaaa-aaaaaack…and we’re trying to get back into a groove, both for the podcast and in our D/s relationship. This week’s episode is more like a giant bonus section with updates about where we’ve... The post Getting Back Into a Groove appeared first on Loving BDSM.

As you may know, JB has been pulled away from home and work to help take care of his ailing mom. It means he’s not at home as much, and he’s under a lot... The post Our Power Exchange During Times of Stress appeared first on Loving BDSM.

Subspace is just one experience submissives can have during a kink scene. As we’ve discussed before, subspace isn’t a guarantee for every scene, and some people may never even get there. So let’s talk... The post Minisode 55: Beyond Subspace appeared first on Loving BDSM.

We’re back with another response (reaction?) to questions asked over on the BDSM side of Reddit. In this episode: This week’s episode is sponsored by Beducated. Answering questions on BDSM reddit. Thanks to our... The post BDSM Reddit Response appeared first on Loving BDSM.

This week, we’re sharing the audio version of a video we made recently on a few things to remember about consent in your power exchange relationship. Most (all?) of it will be familiar because... The post Minisode 54: Consent in Power Exchange appeared first on Loving BDSM.

We love a good process that we can (mostly) repeat over and over again. Yes, even in kink and for new kinky fuckery. This week, we’re sharing what we do when we’re ready to... The post Minisode 53: Trying New Kinks Together appeared first on Loving BDSM.

This week we asked for your kinky questions over on Instagram (at that handle I will forever fucking hate) and in the live chat on YouTube while we recorded. In this episode: This week’s... The post BDSM Q&A appeared first on Loving BDSM.

Too many kinksters chase subspace and then feel disappointed after their scene. Not because it didn’t go well but because they didn’t undergo a bio-chemical reaction that they had absolutely no control over. So... The post Minisode 52: Subspace appeared first on Loving BDSM.

This week, we’re going back in the archive to episode 6 where we talked about how we made the switch to DD/lg (Daddy Dom/little girl). This time, we’re asking ourselves – is that who... The post Are We Still DD/lg? | Revisiting Old Episodes appeared first on Loving BDSM.

New to the idea of electroplay? Like all other kinks, you need to learn about it before you try it – especially the risks. Here are a few things to keep in mind as... The post Minisode 51: Electroplay Basics and Safety Tips appeared first on Loving BDSM.

Towards the end of 2021, we both admitted to each other we were starting to feel burnt out – in our power exchange! While our relationship wasn’t the source of the burnout, it could... The post Burnout in Power Exchange and Kink appeared first on Loving BDSM.

For the big 5-0, we decided to talk about one of our favorite things in kink – impact play. Specifically, we’re sharing different types of toys we absolutely love to use for impact play!... The post Minisode 50: Our Favorite Impact Play Toys appeared first on Loving BDSM.

This week, we’re talking about our experience during Kayla’s recovery from surgery – a time when she wasn’t able to be her service submissive self in her usual way. We share how we both... The post When a Service Submissive Can’t Serve appeared first on Loving BDSM.

Too many people still ask, “Can you have a power exchange relationship and be a parent?” To that, we say, “YES!” As with all things parenting, compromises have to be made, but in our... The post Minisode 49: Tips for Balancing Kink and Parenting appeared first on Loving BDSM.

This week, we celebrate a major podcasting milestone – 300 episodes of our Friday conversations. So this week we’re reflecting on what we’ve learned – about BDSM, about talking about BDSM, and about ourselves.... The post What We’ve Learned After 300 Kinky Conversations appeared first on Loving BDSM.

JB is a sadist and Kayla is a masochist, and it’s something we talk about in a lot of contexts. In this week’s mini episode, we’re sharing a few things we want people to... The post Minisode 48: Sadism and Masochism appeared first on Loving BDSM.

Not only is this episode filled with Kayla Rants™, there’s also the rare sighting of a JB Rant™! In this episode: The Patreon Membership Drive continues through February 15 Thanks to silentwinged for sending... The post BDSM Reddit Reaction appeared first on Loving BDSM.

We’ve talked about red flags that Doms show and red flags from submissives, but what about red flags in power exchange, regardless of the role? This week, we share a few that we tend... The post Minisode 47: Red Flags in Power Exchange appeared first on Loving BDSM.

This week, we’re taking a look at two newish-to-us terms – hard dom and soft dom. What do they mean and what do we think about them as terms? In this episode: The Patreon... The post Hard Doms vs Soft Doms appeared first on Loving BDSM.

Forced orgasms are our jam around here, and we love a good vibrator to help us both out. In this minisode we share a few of our favorite toys and why they’re our favorites.... The post Minisode 46: Our Favorite Vibrators for Forced Orgasms appeared first on Loving BDSM.

This week, we’re re-visiting episode five from the archives. In that episode, Kayla answered common submissive questions regarding bad behavior that all seemed to end in, “Is this okay?” and “Is this normal?” This... The post Questioning Whether Bad Kinky Behavior is “Normal” | Revisiting Episode 5 appeared first on Loving BDSM.

All BDSM carries risk. Some is a little, some is a lot. And it’s easy to ignore the risks when you’re focused on fulfilling a fantasy, finally experiencing a power exchange, or exploring new... The post Minisode 45: BDSM Safety Tips appeared first on Loving BDSM.

In this week’s episode, we share our 2022 goals and how our power exchange impacts our goals and why we think goals are important. In this episode: Thanks to Beducated for sponsoring! Use code... The post Sharing Our 2022 Goals appeared first on Loving BDSM.

We’re baaaa-aaaaack! But we’re not fully operational yet, lol. Instead of skipping this week, we turned this episode into a giant bonus section. If you only want the kink tips, help, and information, feel... The post One Big Bonus Section appeared first on Loving BDSM.

We don’t make New Year’s Resolutions, but we do like to set new goals at the beginning of the year. In this week’s minisode, we share tips on how to set and reach your... The post Minisode 44: Tips for Setting Kinky Goals appeared first on Loving BDSM.

It’s the last podcast episode of 2021 so we turned it into a Q&A! Enjoy! PS: We were also extremely chaotic – more so than usual. You’ve been warned. In this episode: Kinky Book... The post BDSM Q&A appeared first on Loving BDSM.

New to impact play? Just starting to explore spankings and beyond? Here are a few tips to keep in mind! A massive thanks to our Patreon community for making these shorter episodes possible! Links... The post Minisode 43: Impact Play Tips for Newbies appeared first on Loving BDSM.

In our third episode, Kayla shared a some characteristics on what makes someone a good Dominant. We revamped the list, slightly, for a YouTube video in 2021. But we’ve never really had the conversation... The post Good Doms | Revisiting Episode 3 appeared first on Loving BDSM.

Not everyone cares if people know they’re kinky. Not everyone visits with vanilla friends and family during the holidays. But if you do care and you will be spending the holidays with non-kinksters, we’re... The post Minisode 42: Tips for Surviving Holiday Visits with Vanilla Family and Friends appeared first on Loving BDSM.

We have a lot of fun with these BDSM Reddit episodes, and if you enjoy Kayla-Rants™, you probably do, too. This week, we talk about toxic behavior, unionizing submissives, and more! In this episode:... The post Responding to BDSM Reddit…Again appeared first on Loving BDSM.

Whether it’s sub drop or top drop, it can happen to anyone. Here are a few things to keep in if you find yourself going through it. A massive thanks to our Patreon community... The post Minisode 41: Drop appeared first on Loving BDSM.

Another Black Friday, another list of sex toys and kinky gear we love and recommend! All the links to everything we’ve mentioned are down below! Kink up your holidays with something fun and new!... The post Our Favorite Sex Toys of 2021 appeared first on Loving BDSM.

We’re trying something new this week, y’all: BDSM book recommendations on the podcast! If you like this and want more recs, let us know. A massive thanks to our Patreon community for making these... The post Minisode 40: 3 BDSM Book Recommendations appeared first on Loving BDSM.

We’re continuing with the exercise of revisiting old episodes from the archive from before we had lengthy conversations about kinky topics. This week, we’re rehashing the second episode which was all about helping nervous... The post Revisiting Episode 2: How to Talk to Your Dominant appeared first on Loving BDSM.

In this week’s minisode, we share a few tips, tricks, and truths we’ve learned about negotiation in power exchange. Simply put, negotiation is a way to communicate your needs, get consent, and figure out... The post Minisode 39: Negotiation Tips appeared first on Loving BDSM.

We’ve mentioned the concept of kink-shaming in many episodes, but we’ve never really focused on it as a topic. So let’s do that now! In this episode: According to Brene Brown, shame grows with... The post Kink-Shaming appeared first on Loving BDSM.

Truthfully, there are as many ways to be a submissive as there are submissives in the world. But in trying to define submission, we broke it down into three ideas. These are the broad... The post Minisode 38: What Does It Mean to Be Submissive appeared first on Loving BDSM.

We came across a fascinating article on BDSM, meditation, and mindfulness, so we decided to talk about it! In this episode: Cara Dunkley, a clinical psychologist from the Sexual Health Laboratory at the University... The post Mindfulness, Meditation, and BDSM appeared first on Loving BDSM.

Yes, most of us know to consider the risks of our BDSM fun. Yes, most of us talk about safety or at least think about it on some level. Unfortunately, though, not everyone prepares... The post Minisode 37: Building Your BDSM First Aid Kit appeared first on Loving BDSM.

There’s a lot that goes into establishing the routine and flow of your power exchange. Mindset. Desires. Limits and boundaries. And yes, habits. To do something different or new, we have to change old... The post Changing Old Habits and Forming New Habits in Power Exchange appeared first on Loving BDSM.

We’re finally back with more minisodes, and we’re comin’ in hot for this one. Let’s talk about anal training! Not every power exchange engages in it and anal isn’t automatically kinky for everyone. But... The post Minisode 36: Anal Training Tips appeared first on Loving BDSM.

We’ve been recording podcast episodes since 2015, and things have changed a lot in all these years. So we thought it might be interesting to go back to the earliest episodes, before we had... The post Revisiting Episode 1: Anyone Can Be Kinky appeared first on Loving BDSM.

Why yes, we are doing Q&A episodes on a semi-regular basis. We’re so glad you noticed! This week, we answered questions on “getting a partner to love you” as well as our most memorable... The post BDSM Q&A appeared first on Loving BDSM.

In this week’s episode, we take inspiration from a very vanilla article on the five types of personal boundaries we all need to set. But, of course, we talk about them in terms of... The post Different Types of Personal Boundaries appeared first on Loving BDSM.

We recently did a longer podcast episode on funishment. For those who want the Tl;dr, here are five tips and things to know about funishment if you’re trying it for the first time. A... The post Minisode 35: Funishment Basics appeared first on Loving BDSM.

We spend a lot of time talking about what goes wrong in a power exchange relationship and what to watch out for. This week, we’re talking about the good stuff, green flags that indicate... The post Green Flags in Power Exchange Relationships appeared first on Loving BDSM.

Consider this another experiment. We enjoy doing the BDSM Reddit reactions, but we wondered what it would be like to react to vanilla relationship questions from Reddit. Spoiler alert: there’s no major change in... The post Kinksters React to Vanilla Relationship Reddit appeared first on Loving BDSM.

In this week’s minisode, we’re discussing a favorite kink of ours: face slapping! If you’re new to it and want to explore with a partner, these are a few quick tips to keep in... The post Minisode 33: Face Slapping appeared first on Loving BDSM.

A common struggle of many submissives is learning how to ask for what they need and want. It’s especially hard when you believe that a Dominant is always in charge and will decide what’s... The post Minisode 32: Asking Your Dominant for What You Want appeared first on Loving BDSM.

We’ve mentioned this topic so many times in the past, but we’re finally talking about it: the importance of vulnerability in power exchange. Our definition and view of vulnerability comes from Brene Brown’s talks,... The post Vulnerability and Power Exchange appeared first on Loving BDSM.

In a new D/s relationship? Feel a bit overwhelmed and not sure what to do or where to begin? Here are a few tips to keep in mind as you navigate this new path... The post Minisode 31: Tips for New D/s Relationships appeared first on Loving BDSM.

We’ve mentioned funishment many times in the past, but we’ve never devoted an episode to it. And it’s probably a good thing we’re doing this now because Kayla’s views on it have changed over... The post Funishment appeared first on Loving BDSM.

Curious about orgasm control? Here are a few things you need to know about it first! A massive thanks to our Patreon community for making these shorter episodes possible! Links from the episode: 5... The post Minisode 30: Orgasm Control appeared first on Loving BDSM.

Yes, the hallmark of power exchange is that the Dom leads (or controls or has power, pick your term) and the submissive follows (or submits or serves). But that won’t always be the right... The post Following a Submissive’s Lead in Power Exchange appeared first on Loving BDSM.

The answer to that question is, as always, it depends. But we’ve received the question before from someone who really liked this vanilla partner but really enjoyed kink, too. Here’s what we think about... The post Minisode 29: Should I Give Up Kink for a Partner? appeared first on Loving BDSM.

This week, we’re talking about love languages again — but instead of the original, we read Speaking from the Heart: 18 Languages for Modern Love by Anne Hodder-Shipp (she/they). We briefly discuss each love... The post Revisiting Love Languages in Power Exchange appeared first on Loving BDSM.

Subfrenzy hits many submissives at some point in your kink life, from new and excited kinksters to experienced subs who think it won’t happen to them. In this week’s mini podcast episode, we’re sharing... The post Minisode 28: Subfrenzy appeared first on Loving BDSM.

We’ve mentioned exhibitionism and voyeurism as kinks of ours multiple times of the years, but we’re FINALLY giving it a standalone episode. As always, it’s too big of a topic to be fully covered... The post Our Experience with Exhibitionism and Voyeurism appeared first on Loving BDSM.

What’s the difference between a submissive and a bottom? For some people, not very much. For others, everything. In this week’s minisode, we attempt to differentiate between the two. A massive thanks to our... The post Minisode 27: Submissive vs. Bottom appeared first on Loving BDSM.

We received enough positive feedback from a previous episode where we responded and reacted to questions asked on BDSM subreddits that we thought we’d do it again! This week’s post range from violating safewords... The post Responding to BDSM Reddit Posts appeared first on Loving BDSM.

As we see it, dominance is about three different elements: power, control, and leadership. So that’s the lens we use to define it in this week’s mini-episode! A massive thanks to our Patreon community... The post Minisode 26: What is Dominance? appeared first on Loving BDSM.

This week, we answered BDSM questions kinksters asked on Instagram (at that handle I hate) and on YouTube. The topics were wide-ranging, and there’s even a rant at the end. Enjoy! In this episode:... The post BDSM Q&A appeared first on Loving BDSM.

In this week’s mini podcast episode, we discuss a question we get asked a lot: Do I have to open up my relationship now that we’re kinky? A massive thanks to our Patreon community... The post Minisode 25: Do You Have to Open Up Your Relationship? | BDSM Q&A appeared first on Loving BDSM.

We believe dominance is about leadership just as much (if not more) than it’s about power and control. John Brownstone considers himself a servant leader. In this week’s episode, we’re talking about what servant... The post Servant Leadership and Power Exchange appeared first on Loving BDSM.

Call it submissive training or behavior modification (or something else) but trying to change someone’s behavior (yours or a partner’s) isn’t always easy. While a lot of people use discipline and punishment, it’s not... The post Minisode 24: 3 Positive Reinforcement Methods appeared first on Loving BDSM.

Can anyone else believe we reached episode 273 before devoting an entire episode to impact play?! Neither can we! But here we are! Warning, this is a loooong episode because even with an attempt... The post What is Impact Play appeared first on Loving BDSM.

BDSM checklists are great for figuring out what kinks you want to try, what you don’t want, and what you’re not sure about. Because they get recommended so often (especially to newer kinksters), we... The post Miniside 23: BDSM Checklists appeared first on Loving BDSM.

We want everyone to have happy, healthy power exchange relationships. But we also know that not every relationship is meant to last. Staying in one that doesn’t serve you or the other person doesn’t... The post How to Know When It’s Time to Break Up appeared first on Loving BDSM.

Spend any amount of time online or in some local kink communities, and you’ll come across someone with an opinion of what makes you a “real” kinkster. Or someone who devises ridiculous hoops to... The post Minisode 22: How to Actually Prove Yourself in D/s appeared first on Loving BDSM.

In this week’s episode, we’re taking inspiration from YouTube — and reacting to your unpopular opinions! We asked for these opinions on Instagram, YouTube, and Patreon. In this episode: Enter the BDSM Contracts giveaway!... The post Our Thoughts on Your Unpopular BDSM Opinions appeared first on Loving BDSM.

Humiliation play is a mutual kink of ours, though we tend to stick with the lighter end of the spectrum. We’ve discussed it in detail in past episodes, but this week, we’re sharing five... The post Minisode 21: Humiliation Play Tips appeared first on Loving BDSM.

In this week’s episode, we’re reacting to survey results on the secret desires and kinks of 2000 Americans. We thought it would be different and fun — and something lighthearted. Of course, you know... The post Reacting to a Survey on Secret Desires appeared first on Loving BDSM.

Not every kink scene feels the same as the one before. One time you might hit Dom or sub space, and the next time, maybe not. That doesn’t mean anything is automatically “wrong” or... The post Minisode 20: Emotional Reactions in Kink Scenes appeared first on Loving BDSM.

You don’t have to be a service submissive to perform an act of service. You don’t even need to be submissive. Outside of a negotiated and consensual agreement, “acts of service” are simply how... The post Acts of Service We Perform for Each Other appeared first on Loving BDSM.

New to the idea of a kink scene? Has it been a long time since your last one? In this week’s minisode, we’re sharing a few things to keep in mind for your first... The post Minisode 19: 5 Kink Scene Tips for Beginners appeared first on Loving BDSM.

Empathy might seem like a new buzzword, but it’s an important factor in how we all relate to one another as humans. Expressing even small amounts of empathy makes for better interactions and relationships... The post The Importance of Empathy in D/s Relationships appeared first on Loving BDSM.

There are a LOT of things all new kinksters need to know but a lot of the conversation tends to focus on submissives (with good reason!). But Dominants carry a lot of responsibility, and... The post Minisode 18: What New Doms Need to Know appeared first on Loving BDSM.

It’s not new, and it’s been done before, but never by us! We took inspiration from other podcasts who give their thoughts on relationship questions on Reddit but with a twist. We’re responding to... The post Answering BDSM Questions from Reddit appeared first on Loving BDSM.

We won’t always be in the time of a plague, and even though we are, meeting potential partners online continues to be very common. Before you get into a relationship or decide to play... The post Minisode 17: Vetting a New Partner appeared first on Loving BDSM.

BDSM contracts are NOT required in power exchange but for those who would prefer to have one, there are a few things that you’ll want to include in it. You can add plenty of... The post Minisode 16: Put This in Your BDSM Contract appeared first on Loving BDSM.

Could we encompass every belief or philosophy we have about BDSM in one episode? No way. And if you’ve listened to any past episodes you already have a clear idea of what we think.... The post What We Believe to Be True About BDSM appeared first on Loving BDSM.

We’ve discussed drop before but specifically to submissives after subspace or as a reminder that yes, Dominants experience drop, too. This week, we’re sharing five things we think you need to know about drop,... The post Minisode 15: Drop appeared first on Loving BDSM.

It took forever to figure out how to explain this week’s episode in a concise way but “coming out of hibernation” is fairly close. We mean the hibernation we’ve gone through during current stressful... The post Coming Out of Hibernation appeared first on Loving BDSM.

This week it’s just the tip, y’all…just five tips on figuring out, dealing with, and using BDSM titles. Have we talked about the topic a LOT in the past? Absolutely. Why? Because it’s both... The post Minisode 14: BDSM Title Tips appeared first on Loving BDSM.

This isn’t exactly a new topic, but its one we’re finally giving its own episode — how can sex be part of our dynamic when one or both of us don’t want sex? We... The post Dealing with Low Libido in Our D/s Relationship appeared first on Loving BDSM.

We’re baaaa-aaaaack with minisodes — shorter (for us) episodes to give you quick tips, information, and our thoughts on a bite-size BDSM topic. In many cases we’ve already talked about these in a longer... The post Minisode 13: Submissive Red Flags appeared first on Loving BDSM.

This week’s episode was inspired by a question we received from a listener on how to handle your D/s relationship being on a break or pause. We share our experiences and our thoughts on... The post Pausing Your D/s Relationship appeared first on Loving BDSM.

How have we gone so long without a dedicated episode on positive reinforcement in D/s? We don’t know either, but here we are! This week, we talk about it within our own relationship, how... The post Positive Reinforcement appeared first on Loving BDSM.

This week we’re perverting yet another vanilla concept — this time, business leadership styles and how they relate back to power exchange relationships. Some have direct correlations to obvious D/s dynamics, others are more... The post Leadership Styles and Power Exchange appeared first on Loving BDSM.

Instead of throwing in a Q&A episode when we run out of topics, we’re actually planning them this year — one every few months! The best way to ask questions is to follow us... The post BDSM Q&A | March 2021 appeared first on Loving BDSM.

This week’s episode is a bit of a rant based on things we’ve seen in the online kink community. Every time the issues come up, we (I) think, “Please have a sense of self-preservation!”... The post Self-Preservation appeared first on Loving BDSM.

A random phrase led to a Google search which led to this week’s topic — what are the different relationship attachment styles and what do they have to do with power exchange? Let’s talk... The post Relationship Attachment Styles and Power Exchange appeared first on Loving BDSM.

We said it in a past episode and it stuck with us, so let’s talk about it: consider thinking of your kink life as a practice, similar to the way people think of yoga... The post Thinking of Kink as a “Practice” appeared first on Loving BDSM.

Pardon the rambly episode this week. The idea of “know thyself” and what that can look like, how people express their identities, and why it’s important to power exchange is a massive topic. We... The post Why Knowing Yourself Matters in Power Exchange appeared first on Loving BDSM.

The word “advocacy” in terms of power exchange and BDSM has been on our minds a lot lately, so it’s time to do an episode about it. We used a non-kink list of how... The post Advocating for Yourself in BDSM appeared first on Loving BDSM.

Boring implies “bad” but we don’t think that’s always the case. The reality, though, is that long-term relationships, kinky or otherwise, can find themselves in a rut or routine after a while. So let’s... The post Boring Ruts and Routines in Power Exchange appeared first on Loving BDSM.

We’ve talked about love languages before, and we’ve talked about making mistakes and needing to apologize. So imagine our delight when we discovered there’s a thing called an apology language (based on the 5... The post Figuring Out Our Apology Language appeared first on Loving BDSM.

We’ve said it many times but never really focused on it — the fantasy of D/s, kink, and BDSM can’t match the reality. That’s not a bad thing, unless you convince yourself you’re failing... The post Fantasy vs Reality in D/s appeared first on Loving BDSM.

Most of us have heard the cliched advice, “Never go to bed angry!” Everyone has their own opinion and experience with arguments in relationships, including those late-night disagreements. We try not to go to... The post Going to Bed Angry appeared first on Loving BDSM.

You’ve heard us call BDSM, power exchange, and the kink life a “journey.” And yes, it’s become cliche, but that doesn’t mean there’s not some truth to it. This week, we’re talking about why... The post Why It’s a Journey appeared first on Loving BDSM.

A conversation with a kinky friend of ours prompted this week’s topic. That person stayed in a crumbling relationship because they thought they were being “too picky.” We disagreed with that person completely. But... The post Being “Picky” About Your Partners appeared first on Loving BDSM.

It started as an offhand idea John Brownstone threw out right before Christmas, and then we ran with it. It’s been years since we did any BDSM checklists, so we recorded ourselves doing one... The post Re-Doing a BDSM Checklist appeared first on Loving BDSM.

Okay, so Q&A episodes might be our way of getting out of thinking about a topic, but it’s the last episode of 2020, and we thought it would be fun, and we needed something... The post Another BDSM Q&A appeared first on Loving BDSM.

It’s no secret around here that we work from home and we work together. We talk about it a LOT and use it as examples in a lot of conversations about our power exchange.... The post Navigating Our Power Exchange as Business Partners appeared first on Loving BDSM.

Have you ever looked back on a break-up or a big argument with your partner, and thought, “I knew something was wrong.”? Yeah, that’s hindsight for you. But what can do to avoid only... The post What We Can Learn from Hindsight appeared first on Loving BDSM.

We do this every year, and every year it’s a whirlwind. This week, we’re sharing our favorites from all the toys we used in 2020. Why? Because we love masturbation, sex, orgasms, and sexual... The post Our Favorite Sex Toys of 2020 | Kinking Up the Holidays appeared first on Loving BDSM.

Back in episode 13, we shared how we handle money within our power exchange relationship. Over the years it’s changed a LOT. So we thought we’d revisit the topic to share those changes. In... The post How We Handle Money in Our D/s Relationship: An Update appeared first on Loving BDSM.

We received a fascinating email about a promise made in a D/s relationship, and it got us thinking about the promises we’ve made and how we feel about “promises.” So let’s talk about it!... The post Making Long-Term Promises in D/s Relationships appeared first on Loving BDSM.

In this week’s episode, we take a listener question about BDSM collars and turn it into a larger discussion on compromise (yes, we’ve done that episode before). The dynamics of the question posed got... The post Deciding When to Compromise in BDSM and When Not To appeared first on Loving BDSM.

This week’s episode was inspired by a recent public display of kink that went viral on Twitter and created a big conversation online about what’s acceptable and what isn’t in public. We have thoughts,... The post Public Displays of Kink appeared first on Loving BDSM.

Is there a difference between a kink and a fetish? What is that difference? Does that difference even matter. This week’s episode is a loose conversation to explore the definitions of those two words... The post Kinks vs. Fetishes appeared first on Loving BDSM.

It’s here! It’s here! Not just a special Thursday podcast but John Brownstone’s new shop: The Kinkery! This episode ran longer than we intended (typical, lol). A big portion of this episode is us... The post Special Episode: Introducing the Kinkery appeared first on Loving BDSM.

We’ve talked about this in different episodes in the past, but it’s time to give it a standalone episode. Whether in an established power exchange relationship or meeting a new partner, not every kink... The post When Your Kinks Don’t Align appeared first on Loving BDSM.

It’s the start of October — aka Kinktober. We thought it would be fun and appropriate to talk kink. We’re going in hot with a big (and sometimes heavy) topic: edge play, danger, and... The post Understanding Edge Play and Risk in BDSM appeared first on Loving BDSM.

While we don’t get into all the causes for shame in this episode, we also understand that it’s a heavy topic. Feel free to ignore or come back to this one later, if needed.... The post Dealing with Feelings of Shame appeared first on Loving BDSM.

We had a rough weekend in our personal lives so took the easy way out for this week’s podcast episode. We asked y’all for questions on Instagram (at that handle Kayla hates). And y’all... The post BDSM Q&A appeared first on Loving BDSM.

We’ve mentioned in multiple episodes some of the problems and challenges that happen in any relationship when you’re a “fixer” (as we are). This week, let’s talk about it in more detail! In this... The post On Being a Fixer in a D/s Relationship appeared first on Loving BDSM.

There are multiple ways of talking about submission, power exchange, and service (non-sexual and sexual). In this week’s episode, we take inspiration from a workbook by Luna Carruthers entitled Submissive Reflection: A Journey of... The post Reactive, Proactive, and Anticipatory Service appeared first on Loving BDSM.

This week’s episode was inspired after we went on multiple rants about how much 2020 sucked, and someone said, “Uh, didn’t you buy a house this year? It can’t all suck.” And that’s when... The post Letting Hope and Joy Shine In When You Can appeared first on Loving BDSM.

This week’s episode is a hot mess, y’all. We turned on the microphones even though we had no clue what we wanted to talk about — which we’ve maybe done once or twice in... The post A Chaotic Ramble: Celebrating 5 Years of Podcasts appeared first on Loving BDSM.

We seem to be on a roll turning old YouTube trends into podcast episodes. Yes, it’s a little strange, but it’s also a lot of fun! This week, we asked our Instagram followers to... The post Assumptions About BDSM, D/s, and Kink appeared first on Loving BDSM.

Part of being in a D/s relationship means working as a team, helping each other build something together. But sometimes, as individuals, we go through tough times and there’s no easy “fix” for it.... The post Feeling Helpless When You Can’t Help Your Partner appeared first on Loving BDSM.

John Brownstone was feeling under the weather late last week and into this week, so we took the week off from recording a podcast/live streaming. Instead of missing the week, we decided to share... The post Ranking Our Kinks appeared first on Loving BDSM.

If you see “tease” and immediately think “kinky fuckery fun,” you’re not alone. And yes, we talk about that, but we also talk about teasing as part of the relationship and how (some) kinksters... The post Teasing and Being Teased in D/s Relationships appeared first on Loving BDSM.

One of the universal experiences is feeling overwhelmed. We all may handle it differently, but at some point, the feeling hits. This week, we talk about it in three common areas of D/s relationships... The post Feeling Overwhelmed in Your D/s Relationship appeared first on Loving BDSM.

Right after we decided to make this week a question and answer episode, we thought of other ideas (funny how that works!). We received more questions than we wanted to answer in a single... The post Answering Listener Questions appeared first on Loving BDSM.

No real tips or advice in this week’s episode. We just needed space to be able to say that we’re not always okay (even though we’re doing FINE!!) and we wanted to make that... The post It’s Okay to Not Be Okay Right Now appeared first on Loving BDSM.

We’ve talked about the importance of compromise before but always as part of other discussions — on teamwork, goal-setting, and disagreements. This week, we give it an episode all its own. Yes, compromise can... The post Compromise in D/s Relationships appeared first on Loving BDSM.

For the final minisode (for now?), John Brownstone and Kayla Lords are together, sharing bare-handed spanking tips. This episode assumes you know the basics — connect bare hand to bare butt. After that, what... The post Podcast Minisode 12: Bare-Handed Spanking Tips appeared first on Loving BDSM.

We’ve talked about mental health and D/s relationships before. And Kayla is fairly open about her mental health in nearly every episode. After a recent bout of anxiety and depression, we’re talking about how... The post How Kayla’s Mental Health Makes Us Feel appeared first on Loving BDSM.

This week’s minisode was inspired by how hard I roll my eyes when I heard about a “real” Dominant or a “true” Dominant and what they supposedly do or don’t do. Instead, let’s talk... The post Podcast Minisode 11: Things Good Dominants Do appeared first on Loving BDSM.

Your kinky boundaries and limits (hard and soft) can change at any point for all kinds of reasons. So let’s talk about it. In this episode: Black Lives Matter — donation, resources  Thanks to... The post Changing Boundaries and Limits appeared first on Loving BDSM.

It’s easy to feel like every submissive in every D/s relationship crawls or kneels, in their kinky fuckery or as a sign of submission. This isn’t true for a variety of reasons, including because... The post Podcast Minisode 10: Alternatives to Crawling or Kneeling appeared first on Loving BDSM.

We’ve talked about mindfucks a lot over the years, but we’ve never devoted an entire episode to the topic. That’s about to change! In this episode: Black Lives Matter — donation, resources  Thanks to... The post Mindfucks appeared first on Loving BDSM.

Part of this week’s episode will sound similar to last week when we talked about gratitude. Why? Because one of the things you should say regularly in your D/s relationship is “Thank you.” But... The post Podcast Minisode 9: Things to Say in Your D/s Relationship appeared first on Loving BDSM.

There’s the fantasy of our BDSM life or power exchange relationship, and then there’s the reality. When our expectations aren’t realistic, we spend our time disappointed or disillusioned. In this week’s episode, we talk... The post Managing Your Expectations in Your D/s Relationship appeared first on Loving BDSM.

Gratitude is a big deal to both of us. It helps keep resentment at bay and makes it easier to take care of each other, even in times of stress or when we just... The post Podcast Minisode 8: How to Show Gratitude appeared first on Loving BDSM.

We talk about communication ALL THE TIME, but rarely in one episode. This definitely isn’t everything, but if you struggle with communication, this may help you out a bit. In this episode: Announcement: Friday... The post Our Top Tips for BDSM Communication appeared first on Loving BDSM.

There’s no single style of D/s relationships. Not everyone wants 24/7, and not everyone wants something sexual. In this quick episode, we run down a few common styles or “ways” of setting up your... The post Podcast Minisode 7: Different Styles of D/s Relationships appeared first on Loving BDSM.

Dom drop (or top drop) happens. Just as submissives undergo the highs and lows of their BDSM experience, so do Dominants. In this week’s minisode, we share a few reasons why it can happen.... The post Podcast Minisode 6: Why Dom Drop Happens appeared first on Loving BDSM.

Erotic humiliation aka humiliation play isn’t for everyone. And even people who enjoy it, don’t enjoy all aspects of it. If you’ve heard of it but don’t know what it is, or you’re interested... The post Podcast Minisode 5: Erotic Humiliation Basics appeared first on Loving BDSM.

This episode is completely inspired by a few Twitter threads/conversations we’ve seen recently, mostly by kink educator Ignixia. She’s been tackling some serious misconceptions in BDSM, and that got us thinking about the things... The post Busting BDSM Myths and Misconceptions appeared first on Loving BDSM.

We get asked all the time for ideas on what kinds of things you can do in a long distance D/s relationship, sexual and non-sexual. This week’s episode is a quick rundown of different... The post Podcast Minisode 4: Tasks in Long Distance Relationships appeared first on Loving BDSM.

We use the term “cheering up” but another good word could be “pleasant distraction.” These are the moments when you get your partner to come out of their bad/worried/tense mood for a moment and... The post On Cheering Each Other Up appeared first on Loving BDSM.

In this week’s minisode, I’m breaking down the big three safety philosophies in BDSM. If you’re trying kinky things or exploring power exchange with a partner, you need a safety strategy. Pick the one... The post Podcast Minisode 3: Safety in BDSM appeared first on Loving BDSM.

Y’all. We’re exhausted (aren’t we all)?! And we just didn’t have it in us to come up with a topic and ramble about it for 90 minutes. So we put out the call for... The post This Week: A Rapid-Fire Q&A appeared first on Loving BDSM.

Is this list exhaustive? No. Does it explain every nuance of submission on the entire spectrum of a power exchange? Also no. But for anyone who believes there’s only “one way” to be a... The post Podcast Minisode 2: Submission Types appeared first on Loving BDSM.

We’re keeping it fun and light this week and providing an actual thought exercise! Using the concept of Maslow’s Hierarchy of Needs, we figure out our hierarchy of kinks. Feel free to play along... The post Figuring Out Our Hierarchy of Kinky Needs appeared first on Loving BDSM.

In the first of our podcast mini-sodes, I’m sharing a rundown of different types of BDSM collars, for those who find collars important to their power exchange and kinky fun. Enjoy! A big thanks... The post Podcast Minisode 1: BDSM Collars appeared first on Loving BDSM.

In the first of our podcast mini-sodes, I’m sharing a rundown of different types of BDSM collars, for those who find collars important to their power exchange and kinky fun. Enjoy! A big thanks... The post Podcast Minisode 1: BDSM Collars appeared first on Loving BDSM.

This week’s topic was inspired by a tweet and someone else’s questions about compatibility (Thanks, Darling Nikki!). It got us thinking about it in our own relationship. We’re not sharing “tips” or “wisdom” here,... The post Compatibility in D/s Relationships appeared first on Loving BDSM.

Life is…weird, hectic, stressful. And we’ve learned (over the years) that when we spend time with our kinky community, we often feel better, We hope you do, too. With that in mind, we’ve decided... The post Special Announcement: Let’s Distract Ourselves! appeared first on Loving BDSM.

Life is…weird, hectic, stressful. And we’ve learned (over the years) that when we spend time with our kinky community, we often feel better, We hope you do, too. With that in mind, we’ve decided... The post Special Announcement: Let’s Distract Ourselves! appeared first on Loving BDSM.

Buying new BDSM gear and toys is a lot of fun. And we both buy and sell kinky fuckery items all the time. But you don’t need money to get kinky. Your own imagination... The post Getting Kinky on the Cheap appeared first on Loving BDSM.