David Waldman brings us the Thursday KITM which is still mostly preoccupied with election news, even though it’s, like weeks away. Greg Dworkin warns us to not pay much attention to or rely on polls at this point… So, let’s talk polls!  Generally, several are very good, and the ones that aren’t, aren’t so bad. People sure are voting, though, which is nice, especially when you are trying to elect someone. The voting bloc really going for Harris is made up of Republicans who know Donald Trump, the more familiar they are, the more likely they are voting Kamala. Does the ideology or objectivity of any journalist really matter, when their owners and bosses are the opposite? Elon Musk wants world domination for the lulz, and isn’t afraid to spend a fraction of his day’s pay to get it. None of lazy grifter Musk’s scams are awfully clever or original but are unique only in how much money he puts into them and how much he expects to take out. Elon’s partnership with lazy grifter Donald Trump might be failing due to the enemy within… thousands of small-time lazy grifters. If only they had the kind of generals that Adolf Hitler had! Trump sounds pretty fascist to former General John F. Kelly, and also to Kamala Harris.

David Waldman and Greg Dworkin capture the latest insanity in a bottle and pour it directly into your ears. 13 days until election day, although at least 18 million of us would be ok with it being today. Judges, DAs, sheriffs, lawmakers, ballot measures, AGs, & presidents will be decided! A Nate precisely explains how he screwed up his 2016 polling, and how he screwed up his 2020 polling. Nate’s still busy crunching the numbers on how he screwed up his 2024 polling, so he’d prefer that he be paid in advance at this time, thank you.  In those polls Kamala Harris clings to her slim lead. All of this is making the Harris team jittery, or maybe it’s the coffee they had lately. Or possibly… maybe… they aren’t worried. Gop polls are rigged to red because Trump needs something to wave over his head after the election. Many women have waited their entire lives for a chance to vote in this election. Actually, they waited their entire husband’s lives for the chance. Bulletin: Kamala Harris lifted language that the National District Attorneys’ Association supplied to DA’s to lift and place into their testimonies. But to be fair, Donald Trump has his foibles and faux pas, such as his frequent praising of Hitler, setting up trials and tribunals for political enemies, third-world authoritarian positioning of Aileen Cannon and other suck ups to his cabinet and elsewhere, and of course, pooping in the fryolator after closing. Tim Pool is taking time off incelling to give not incelling a try. Tiny towns in Georgia and Oregon gathered up their residents to fight off invisible men from Mars invisible antifa super soldiers to rescue the American way of life.

Listening to David Waldman and today’s KITM is part of your civic duty, but only part. Now is the time to phone bank, or door knock. Enjoy the foliage, listen to us on your buds. Donald Trump mocked minimum wage earners while cosplaying one at a Potemkin McDonald’s, which is weird, as Donald does dislike being seen as one of the little guys. Trump sure isn’t the sort to turn down implants though if he saw an advantage, therefore he might be up for a brain implant, even if it was linked to Elon’s Bluetooth…  Technocratic government conspirators have wanted to install a utopian one-world government for ages, but all of a sudden that doesn’t sound like a bad thing anymore to the rich tech bros out to bitcoin the economy, uber the workforce, and John Galt their incelness. Back in the real world, infants are dying at higher rates following abortion bans in the US. A top Florida health department attorney finally quit his job of threatening TV stations with prosecution if they did not stop airing ads that Ron DeSantis didn’t like. According to a Montana park ranger, and several factual records, Senatorial candidate/dick Tim Sheehy shot himself, then incriminated fellow soldiers to make himself sound better. Not too good of a plan, and it didn’t work.

David Waldman will be presenting only a dozen more KITMs before the election, and this here is one of them! Arnold Palmer is world renowned, and universally admired for a myriad of accomplishments and attributes.  So, you can guess which Donald Trump would remember and admire him for, right?  Meanwhile, if you had ever wanted to see an impressive poll, you knew that you could always check in with Greg Dworkin. This year however, pollsters want to make it clear that no one should trust them to provide anything of any value whatsoever.   Want a prediction?  Look elsewhere. That said, let’s whip them out and see what we’re working with. Well, Trump’s might be tightening, but Kamala’s still a little bigger. Strangely, it depends on what you put in there for scale, 2020, or 2022, and you need to consider those differences in propensity. There are somewhat fewer early votes than 2020, but still a whole lot of early votes. Again, conclude away, but no promises. Arnold’s putts aren’t Trump’s only obsession. Ronald McDonald Trump got to pretend to be a fry cook, a truck driver, and President of the United States. Brain surgeon and double aught secret agent are still on the wish list. Fellow rich guy working through his fantasies, Elon Musk only wants to p’wn the world, starting with Donald Trump and moving out from there. Watch how funny the peasants dance for $100! What will they do for a million? Musk isn’t interested in buying democracy though, only trolling mankind. (Timothy Mellon already bought the government.) Who needs to run the world anyhow? So many details! No fun at all.

David Waldman remains our source for political and cultural analysis and is almost certainly not AI generated. AI bots, as expected, prefer Donald Trump and Gops. Once we create reply-bots, all social media will be just bots arguing with each other, then we all can find something more constructive to do.  “Donald Trump” was a character introduced on The Apprentice in the 2000’s which gained a form of monstrous sentience, sort of, and now roams the countryside as a Norman Vincent Peale asshole menacing the unsuspecting. The monster craves affirmations, which never satiates it, but only increases its boorish danger. Could this week’s developments change the race? Meh. You should see next week’s developments! Donald Trump set insurrectionists on foot on Jan 6. Now he states that he is one of them. Election deniers might boobytrap voting drop boxes. Who knows what Trump will do when he gets back in power? No, really, who knows? Other than Trump, no one needs a Trump takeover more than Elon Musk, who might need to make his own country if he can’t buy this one. Did you know that voting can reduce the chances of a Trump presidency? Wives are reminded that no one sees their vote at the polls, although some know differently. A Georgia woman had to wait 80 years to have nobody looking over her shoulder. Megan Marshack dies at 70, as so perhaps her secrets. A strain of influenza died… Thanks Covid!

David Waldman brings us a Thursday KITM without Greg Dworkin, who’s still on assignment covering ongoing Canadian Thanksgiving celebrations, most likely. Kamala Harris paid her dues on Fox News yesterday, where today they’re calling her everything they can think of, except perhaps “shrill” for some reason. Donald Trump boogied onto venues rigged to not trigger the old fart, and yet old farting was all he offered. Donald claims that he wasn’t aware that he was the Father of IVF until it was explained to him. But he did admit that he was an insurrectionist on January 6. Judge Tanya Chutkan will probably take that confession over the phony boloney his lawyers are peddling. Elon Musk spent $100 million to create a web of disinformation around Project 2025, called "Progress 2028". Someone you know has recently or soon will send you a link to it in order to prove something to you. Donald Trump is either going to jail or he’s not. What’s one more Fifth Avenue shooting to him at this point? What’s one more porn star bribe? What’s a little more creative bookkeeping?  What’s JD Vance’s advisor smoking? Everything!

On today’s KITM, David Waldman helps Greg Dworkin haul in his huge Raft O’ Stories™, along with a big boatload of helpful polls. All the polls add up to one conclusion… The polling business must pay well. Using polls to make predictions however is like trying to drive with your rearview mirror. All we know is that our destination is coming up fast. Polls say you might vote for Donald Trump if you think he’s macho. Of course, if that’s a consideration for you, you definitely are voting for him. Others might be concerned that Donald is a rapidly decompensating dotard. It’s obvious in interviews, inescapable in every word that he utters. Yet he has been like this for a while, right? It is 20 days until the election, if the smell hasn’t hit them yet, we are almost out of time. Reporters are noticing that Joe Biden has done a pretty good job, saved the world, etc. A Bernie or Bust-er has an epiphany, better late than never. In a short while we’ll find out whose GOTV in Pennsylvania sucked more and wasted more money. Low-income families aren’t rich enough to be able to afford to use school vouchers.

Today, David Waldman weaves us a cuddly fall KITM. At Donald Trump’s Philadelphia town hall, Trump ceased taking questions, retreated to a corner of the stage, then swayed and waved his arms about for around 40 minutes. Campaign staff rushed to play several songs known to please him, yet Donald could not be coaxed forward, and the event was cut short. In other words, it was a huge improvement over Trump’s other recent events, and it looks like it might be the template implemented in the weeks prior to the election. Kamala Harris was so impressed that she showed clips of him at her rally. Donald Trump would be happiest making a music, and never leaving the 80’s. Why didn’t Bette Midler ever boogie with Donny at Studio 54? Why couldn’t Dustin Hoffman ever let him sit at the cool table? Now we all pay for the respect he couldn’t buy. General Mark Milley warns that the whole world will pay if Trump is elected. Besides destroying democracy, the economy, and the world, Donald Trump is certain to pretty much harsh the whole vibe. Don’t vote for him, imo, unless you think he owes you a pardon. A Georgia judge rules that county election officials need to stay in their lane and only make their elections run smoothly. A Christian Nationalist law firm, ADF, has successfully worked around democracy to do things that no one wants without them knowing about it. Locally, anti-abortion groups intercept emails and fake ultrasounds to achieve the same ends.

David Waldman is back, atoned, rested and ready to take on another big news week with us. Greg Dworkin tells us to take a deep breath as the horses enter the back stretch, as the smell will only get worse from now on. Experts do agree, the presidential race outlook is… hazy. Check back with them as long as your cash holds out. Face it, if the corporate media had told you that it was a blowout earlier, you’d be reading the sports page this month, and millions of dollars would have just slipped through their fingers. Internal polling is maybe a different story, but could be just as wrong. Mass media’s efforts to continually relevel the playing field does create a fertile environment for more news stories, such as armed militia gathering to challenge FEMA forces. Some of that is Elon’s doing, of course, but Greg is determined to quote them until their last post. MAGA will not like hearing who discovered America. Their cognitive dissonance is assimilated into rationalizations, conspiracy theories, or simply repressed. Donald Trump needs to act crazier each day to keep anyone’s attention... Except, he’s not acting. Kamala Harris, on the other hand, could solve all of the world’s problems, but if that widened rather than tightened the horse race, why would the news be interested? Therefore, the news is Trump’s latest assassin. Although he isn’t. Boy, If only Donald had an A-10 Warthog at Coachella, those things wouldn’t keep happening. At least this time Trump wasn’t embarrassed by people leaving his rally early. Nationalism is still an increasing threat in America, but the latest good news is the impact a Nazi recently made back in Germany.

Did you see the Northern Lights? David Waldman didn’t. Neither did I, and I am further north. Oh well, perhaps some another night.  As with Donald Trump’s farts, there’ll always be a chance to experience another soon. Maybe that won’t sound as threatening in a few weeks. Or maybe Elon will make them smell like fresh snickerdoodles. Maybe we’ll get used to them. We are running out of ways to explain how bad this is. Laws are broken, people die, and the Kamala Harris campaign is being choked out by lies, disinformation, and just garbage. Facebook itself is paying creators to make cheap AI slop to drive engagement, but mostly it engages bots into sharing more slop to attract the attention of more bots, which is also the X business model. The singularity will be reached once humans become indistinguishable from slop, about a week from now.

Hungry for news? David Waldman serves up the latest, KITM style. Big “They” are at it again, running their weather machine amok in the south, shutting off the power to millions of KITM fans, forcing Donald Trump into reluctantly lying about absolutely every imaginable thing, and jeopardizing his reputation as America’s truthteller. You might start to doubt people wearing “Auto Workers For Trump” T-shirts aren’t actually auto workers. You might suspect that public schools aren’t secretly switching your kid’s gender when you aren’t looking. For Donald, his word has always been as good as gold.  You might say it’s in his blood. In fact, Trump will swear that the truth on each Trump Bible you purchase in the next half hour. If anyone says otherwise, well, they won’t be saying that for long. KITM Correspondent Steve Sittig asks, “If you can’t trust Trump on current events, then how can you trust him on 1890’s economics and history?” Now that Musk family, they’re liars from way back.  KITM Correspondent Seth Chipman records part 1 of his 2-part series on Southern California's latest water scandal. Gops figure that most voters will vote against them, so why not suppress most voters? Pennsylvania “ice cream trucks for voting” could at least pick something to play other than “Turkey in the Straw.” There are simple ways to prevent abortion, but for some reason people lean into the most awful ones.

Greg Dworkin helps round up another day of news, and another day of the Kamala Harris media blitz. Today’s collection of clips to fumble over range from Colbert’s Harris interview intro, to… Colbert’s Harris interview. As the next hurricane bears down on Florida, Republicans across the states hit by the last one are having to clean up Trump’s lies about the clean up. Never Trumpers recognize this as the Gop platform. While pro-Trumpers like Elon “Leon” Musk see the disaster as a promotional platform. No one’s entirely sure of what some conservative Christians see in the platform, but apparently there are millions of them uninterested in voting. So we’ve got that going for us. Which is nice. One thing you hear a lot, if you talk about the polls often enough: the polls are either wrong, or they don’t make sense. Here’s a way to make sense of them either not making sense or being wrong. Trump begins a series of rallies inexplicable with conventional campaign strategies: in Aurora, CO (where he’ll lose, but which evokes his racist targeting of immigrant communities); in NYC’s Madison Square Garden (where he’ll lose, but which evokes memories of previous Nazi rallies), and; in Coachella, CA (where he’ll lose, but which hold out the possibility that he’ll be baked to death). “God Bless the USA,” but make the check out to China. You’ll never guess (nor do you have to, now) where those Trump bibles are printed! Are you better off now than you were four years ago? Well, four years ago, you may have been waiting in line for hours, to get to a drive-through mass testing site, to be screened for COVID. But that’s not what Vladimir Putin was doing, thanks to the guy who was supposed to be putting America First.

David Waldman has good news for those stuck in traffic evacuating from hurricanes: You have a brand new KITM to listen to. Two of those hours will just fly by!  Ron DeSantis is out there hunting looters, transgenders and choicers while waiting for Milton to give him reason to really clamp down. Another day, another big media appearance for Kamala Harris. This time it was 60 Minutes where Kamala delivered plenty of substance instead of the juicy soundbites. Meanwhile, Donald Trump countered good news with bad disinformation while unveiling his final solution for migrant problems. Economically anxious MAGA look forward to its implementation. Elon Musk promises easy money for any migrant who brings in a voter. Ace KITM Correspondent Rosalyn MacGregor questions why the Equal Rights Amendment has not yet been added to the Constitution, and suggests who you should question, and how. Can you believe it? Trump hid Brett Kavanaugh from the FBI, while sending Covid tests to Russia while Americans died! Probably don’t vote for that guy. Also, a “Moms For Liberty” pastor is a registered sex offender. You knew that sooner or later, Donald Trump would be grifting Bibles. He just needed the right partner. Oklahoma is stepping up to help sell $3.3 million worth, not just to widows, but also to schoolmarms.

David Waldman is back from the weekend, and actually he’s back from less than half of a weekend after kicking out a BONUS KITM Part III of his Special Counsel Jack Smith’s motion trilogy! No extra charge! As always, 100% commercial free! (sigh) Plus, today we have Greg Dworkin! Do you know how much a doctor would normally charge you for an hourlong consultation? Less than 30 days before the election, yet Kamala Harris has not granted us an interview. WHAT IS SHE AFRAID OF? Tim and Kamala are sitting down with everybody from Fox News to Steven Colbert, to Howard Stern, and on non-political podcasts such as Call Her Daddy and All the Smoke, who might not be a Kagro in the Morning, but they do have their niches. In fact, the Harris campaign is probably talking to a lot of people who need to hear what she is saying. The mainstream media may not be that useful to Dems anymore, but why doesn’t she go on Hannity? Meanwhile, Donald Trump travels the Broverse on his red-pill podcast tour. If he can’t be elected president of the United States, maybe he can just break off a piece and take it with him, to share with only people pure of race. Or he could just pretend that he is president. Mike Johnson can work with that. After all, who needs competence of any kind once you have AI? AI sure has made lying easier for anti-miscegenation Senator Mike Braun. Your reality is now only limited by his imagination. Of course, old fashion lying still works for PA Republican candidate Dave McCormick, who faked an autism event with the help of a restaurant and a church. (Who don’t want to help him anymore.) AI wasn’t good enough for a 64-year-old white man in Springfield who spent the day killing geese.

That’s right! A special Saturday episode! And it’s two hour and 45 minutes long, too! I just couldn’t leave the rest of Special Counsel Jack Smith’s motion in opposition to Trump’s claims of presidential immunity in the January 6th case hanging until next week. Not after spending four hours on it already, on the Thursday and Friday shows. So that’s it! That’s the summary. Between Thursday, Friday and today, I read you the whole damn thing. Was that foolish? Well, too late. It’s done. Want to know what it said, but you’ve been carrying something with both hands for several days? Now you’re covered!

David Waldman continues to parse, annotate, and comment on Jack Smith’s Special Counsel motion on Donald Trump, which unfortunately the corporate media disregarded and has already pretty much forgotten about. They say the devil is in the details, but so is this asshole, and it is the preponderance of these details that add up to Smith’s case. Penitentiaries better brace themselves for the influx of demented sickos heading their way. The latest is Mesa County clerk Tina Peters, who vows to emerge untamed once she gets out in 9 years, as long as she has a nice mattress. Dr. Tammy Towers Parry, maced and teargassed on Jan. 6, just like the Founding Fathers, opened fire with a shotgun at a process server, and was killed in a shootout, unlike the Founding Fathers. Meanwhile, Marjorie Taylor Greene, still alive and unconvicted, envisions a world where Jewish space lasers and weather making machines coexist above the clouds, evading angels and tormenting Appalachians.

It’s Rosh Hashanah! I’m supposed to be off! And another major news event has once again highlighted my habit of picking the very worst timing possible! There was only one thing to do: sit right down and read the extraordinary narrative laid out in Special Counsel Jack Smith’s motion in opposition to Trump’s claims of presidential immunity in the January 6th case. Well, two things to do: the second one being to hit the record button. So that’s what I did. Two hours of cramming in as much of the motion as I could, so that you could work, putter around the house, or whatever it is you do, and still go word-for-word through the first 60 pages or so of this stem-winder! There’s still more, of course. And there’s still Friday! But then, another troublesome thought occurred to me: how could I ask Scott Anderson to summarize the show, when only one thing happened, and only one source was used? And this post is the only answer I could come up with. Maybe he’ll have a better idea if we do it again tomorrow.

It’s post-debate Wednesday! Kudos to the campaigns for agreeing to a date that allows us to depend on Greg Dworkin pulling debate duty and calling in the next morning! First on the list: an “undecided voter” panel in MI reacts to Vance ducking the January 6th question. Over in PA, they defied the punditry and declared Walz the winner. And the normies have spoken! They just seem to react better to Walz. Which of course, must mean the weirdos do not. Meanwhile, in polling world, things are swinging Harris’ way, even in some of those swingy states. Maybe that’s because Trump continues to speak, dismissing for a second time the injuries American troops suffered on his watch, and blaming… something on “people from the Congo,” just to add to the pile of previous outrages, like accusing Kamala Harris of murder. Somehow, though, Trump’s a lot more cautious in court, and urges others to be, too! And hey, remember Project 2025? If you thought its overwhelming unpopularity was slowing the “Heritage Foundation” down, it’s not! They’re proceeding with Schedule F, anyway, win or lose. Speaking of that quote-unquote “think tank,” they’ve got a small gay porn hypocrisy scandal on their hands now, too. If, you know, that matters at all.

It’s Tuesday, October 1, and David Waldman counts up the days and down the hours, but right now at this moment there is some exciting stuff too! RIP wishes this Monday go out to… NOT JIMMY CARTER! President Carter has at least one more heroic deed planned in only a couple of weeks, and he’s gone 100 years so far, so that can’t be too tough. But you know how famous people go in threes, so those three are officially Kris Kristofferson, Dikembe Mutombo and Pete Rose. Who would have bet on those three? Probably Pete. Jimmy Carter reminds us of what patriotism is all about. Kamala Harris however is the only patriotic choice we have for president. If you have Donald Trump in your dead pool, you lose again. Various randos, Iranian hitmen, his own children have all failed. The greatest deterrent to harming Trump is now JD Vance. Who knows what someone could do for 10 million dollars, though. Senate Democrats are looking into why no one wanted you to find out. Rudy Giuliani’s daughter believes that her dad’s relationship with Donald Trump destroyed his life. Donald definitely helped. Donald is in North Carolina to throw paper towels and ruin lives… and he’s all out of paper towels. Ron DeSantis is helping rescue flood victims, but if he finds you aren’t from Florida, back in you go. Matt Gaetz is all for helping, if it doesn’t cost money and your mom is ok with it.

It’s Monday. And the last day of September. No better time to have Greg Dworkin drop by to sum up happenings. If it was a relatively quiet weekend for you, perhaps that was because you weren’t getting any phone calls from Western North Carolina, and other storm and flood-stricken areas of the country, where there was no power, no cell service, and no clean water. And consequently, still no clear picture of exactly how bad it is. On the upside, there was the opportunity to remind people that: 1) yes, there are large numbers of climate change-believing, tolerant and inclusive Democrats in the area, and; that real Americans help. The political world went kind of topsy-turvy over the weekend, too, with this Harris ad featuring ex-Trump voters renouncing the orange guy. Which of course, leads to death threats. On the other hand, some people know full well how wrong and bad Trump is, but can’t quite bring themselves to the right conclusion. Even though Trump spent the weekend promising that The Purge would become a part of his platform. Other (sadly) influential voices were being similarly dumb, if not similarly scary. On the domestic policy front, Harris policy proposals are winners over Trump’s. But sometimes, scary lies win out over hopeful truth. Is it funny that TikTok users are reportedly using AI to translate Hitler speeches? Well, it can be. What won’t be funny is how many more nails this badly unbalanced Supreme Court could put in our coffin, starting next week. Held up next to this weekend’s reminder of the real world stakes, just for transgender Americans alone, it’s appropriately worrisome. Trump’s got a new rip-off up and running, this one more naked than most. By the way, just as a reminder: Joe Biden actually knew what he was doing, had international allies, and could make amazing things happen, internationally and with dozens of moving parts.

Listen up! David Waldman has a few more things to say before the weekend. Maggie Smith died during the night, on Friday, at 89. Smith seemed like someone who could explain the syntax of that, and she definitely was a great actress. Eric Adams is no Donald Trump, or Clarence Thomas, but it’s probably too late for him to turn Republican now, so he’s probably in trouble. Eric played “Guess which hand my phone’s in.” with the FBI, while a staff member erased the “Crimes” folder from her phone. North Carolina removed 747,000 from voter rolls because they didn’t want them voting, although they say it’s because the voters really didn’t want to vote. Republicans have quit trying to impeach Joe Biden as it just isn’t fun anymore. Jared Kushner has been nice and comfy in Saudi pockets for the last few years. What’s the difference between a bribe and an investment, anyhow? Everyone knows that JD Vance used to hate Donald Trump; we know that he still does. There is one thing that JD loves, though, and that’s the sound of babies dropping. It would happen a lot more often too,  if it wasn’t for big government baby seat regulations.

Hey, they passed the CR! And you’ll never guess you’ve already guessed how: in exactly the same way that last year cost Kevin McCarthy his job. So, that’s news. Oh, and in addition to asking Mike Johnson about that, reporters have also been asking him whether he’ll commit to “regular order” when it comes time to tally the Electoral College votes in January. (Not that it’ll necessarily be his decision, mind you.) But guess what? He’s hedging! Because he’s a Republican. So that’s news, too. And that’s when Greg Dworkin came in, to remind me that there was other news, too. Namely, that the Mayor of New York City (New York City?!) had been indicted. Oh, yeah! (In the “I forgot!” sense, not the celebratory, “Hey, Kool-Aid!™” sense.) So of course, this sets off a tidal wave of calls for him to resign. Greg was at the ready with the answer to the obvious question, “What if he doesn’t?” Well, of course there’s an answer. Because of course New York City has run into this before. And then… there were polls. For whatever they’re worth. National polling averages? Of course! National polling no more than a week old? Naturally! State polls by Marist? OK, fine. YouGov/Economist? Sure, if you want it. Monmouth in PA? Say no more! Texas? If you insist. Virginia? So you can see if the vest guy is really still a thing? My pleasure. Just Jews? Uh… ok. But watch it, buddy! Swing states? Well, isn’t it enough to just tell you that it’s close in all of them? (That’s why they’re swing states.) Polling poetry, you say? That’s not even a… oh, wait! Hold on! Today in Republican Racism: Clay Higgins. He’s no Professor Henry Higgins, that’s for sure. By the way, he’s kind of always been like this. Today in voting: Uh… people are voting. I guess? Not really sure what to make of this one. Today in furniture: Uh… many people are saying… something about furniture, allegedly? Trump also says people want to kill him. I think he’s probably right about that, which is a new concept. So… we may or may not have “regular order” in counting the Electoral College vote. We can improve the chances of that happening by electing a Democratic majority in the House. But we’ll also need some plans for governing around any obstructionist Republicans who manage to hang around.

It’s a day that ends in a “y,” so it’s time for a Republican sex pest story! Also, again, these are Republicans we’re talking about. So it’ll never be just one. First up: Johnny McEntee! Whether he’s stuck reliving his college glory days, or whatever it is, McEntee seems intent on leveraging it for his sex pestery. When he’s not compulsively gambling or passing counterfeit notes, that is. Next: Rep. Anthony D'Esposito, who at least had the courtesy to engage in a truly conservative sex scandal, putting both his fiancée's daughter and his mistress on his official House payroll. That’s old school! Maybe that’s why even George Santos finds this one so embarrassing for the Gop. (Of course, the other reason could be that D’Esposito led the charge to expel Santos as a “stain on the institution.”) Kamala Harris has now endorsed a carve-out from filibuster “rules” to pass legislation codifying Roe, and Schumer’s on board. But not Manchin. On the other hand, Manchin’s not actually on board the Senate train, anymore. Oh, is that a policy position? I was told that people don’t know what her policy positions are, so they “can’t” vote for her, or something. But that’s not stopping these folks, parading for Harris/Walz in their “golf cars” through The Villages, once considered territory too hostile for such displays. As usual, Greg Dworkin delivered a thorough round-up of the latest polling, leading off with the Harvard Youth Poll from the Harvard Kennedy School Harvard Institute of Politics Harvard Harvard-y Harvard. Also, Harvard. Anyway, the kids are alright, even if Harvard isn’t. Into the “cross-tabs?” Plenty of data available on Latino and Asian-American voters, too. “Dems have to win the popular vote by 4% in order to win the Electoral College” may be the new “everything in the Senate requires 60 votes!” In the “confirming our priors” department, the UK’s Foreign Secretary is on board with describing Russia as a mob-ocracy. And if you’re old enough to remember when floating impeachment for the use of torture, indefinite detention and/or warrantless domestic surveillance was really just “partisan tit-for-tat,” then you’ll be annoyed and/or amused to find that “partisan tit-for-tat” IOKIYAR.

Among the social media chart-toppers this morning: Because Every Republican Accusation is a Confession™, today begins with another Republican pet killer, this time it’s Kevin Roberts of Project 2025 infamy. And for extra hypocrisy, you can’t beat the refusal to report on the substance of yet another round of hacked Trump campaign documents. Oh, and speaking of Project 2025, isn’t it wild how much traction a campaign white paper is able to get, all of a sudden? Credit for that goes, among various reports, to Taraji Henson, John Oliver and in part, to Don Moynihan. And speaking (as we were) of hypocrisies, in Breaking Hypocrisy news: RFK Jr. is simultaneously suing to get both on and off of the ballot, depending (I guess) on which helps Trump more. And when it comes to lawsuits like this, it’s weirdos all the way down. Hey, remember a couple of days ago when another guy tried to shoot Trump? Well, there’s something extra weird about that, too. He might be… something other than just a lone kook. Oh, and by the way, this show is sometimes about Congressional procedure. And sometimes the House Republicans actually try to proceed with things, upon which we then make comment. Turns out that Speaker Johnson’s “Plan B” in the Rules Committee was just a time waster, so as not to go directly to Plan C — i.e., the one for which Republicans ousted Kevin McCarthy. Today is the first day since yesterday that there was no excuse to say the words, “Nude Africa.” But that’s only because the Mark Robinson sex scandal of the day was about a place called, “Lords of Porn.” Meanwhile, back in the real world, Jack Smith is getting set to file a kind of tell-all brief, in support of the superseding indictment in the January 6th case. And he needs 180 pages to do it, because it’s likely so chock-full of damning evidence that demonstrates the non-official nature of Trump’s crimes. Trump, of course, is set to demand that SCOTUS save him at the last minute, again. No, they’re not in session. And no, there’s no basis for it whatsoever. In fact, SCOTUS ordered that exactly this be done. But Trump needs saving, so logic may have nothing to do with it.

David Waldman and Greg Dworkin know that talking about a sex scandal is a good way to get our love button tapped, so sidle over here and let’s tell you about the latest: Tennessee Republican Mark Green celebrated 30 years of marriage with his girlfriend who was around 2 years old on his first anniversary. Sure, Green is running for reelection, but that won’t be his voter’s biggest cognitive hurdle. Look at that other Mark, Mark Robinson in North Carolina… Ok, you might want to avert your eyes… Robinson’s staff have just noticed that Mark is a creep and have determined that their standards are simply too high to remain in his employ. Donald Trump hasn’t yet noticed anything particularly weird about Robinson, Mark seems pretty normal to him. Jack, the “brains” of that “Burke and Hare” of American politics known as Jacob Wohl and Jack Burkman, has taken over as Robinson’s Campaign Manager… Shhh! don’t tell the Robinson campaign! And yet… and yet, experts tell us that the election remains undecided and might remain so for weeks! In the meantime, we can look at polls. Kamala Harris continues to trend well in many categories in many polls. There might be a few polls and categories Trump leads a bit in, but why be overly concerned? It’s fun to know that he reads his bad polls too. Trends and vibes continue to work in Kamala’s direction, and who would expect any surprises this October? It is now time to worry about Republican November surprises in the works. Georgia plans to kill voting, no matter how much money and time it takes. Instead of Georgia, this time Lindsay Graham leads his delegation to Nevada. Maine might not be able to save us this time.

It’s Sex Scandal Friday on today’s KITM! David Waldman usually eschews the topic, but instead today will take several for the team… Hey, it’s the weekend! First up: Self-avowed “perv”, self-avowed “Black Nazi”, aspirational slave owner and executioner, North Carolina Lt. Gov. Mark Robinson. Mark just might encounter public relations problems due to things that he said and did. In turn, Robinson’s sexual peccadillos and moral hypocrisies could reflect badly upon the lofty character of his advocate, Donald Trump. Second in line: New York magazine writer Olivia Nuzzi, whose much more fragile reputation might have been shattered after falling for the charms of bear-breathed RFK Jr. Who’s after Bob? ...Don? How about Don Jr.? Nope, they’re still a little shy. How about Ashley Madison devotee, anti-everything else Chris Rufo? Chris thinks his 8-year-old daughter might have actually been the one who signed up, but who is he to judge? Then there’s former NYC Covid Czar Jay Varma who recently bragged about his drug/sex parties… at least Varma probably wore a mask. Bringing up the rear is… EEEEK! Matt Gaetz! Wow, that’ll sober you up real quick... All of the drugs, plus minors of course, are involved. The only more horrific attendee at an orgy could possibly be Stephen Miller. How will conservatives deal with all this? That’s easy. They won’t.

Arrr! David Waldman and Greg Dworkin says heave to, ye lubbers before they keelhaul the lot of you! Oh... We aren’t doing this today? Okay. Experts agree, one person will be elected soon, and soon, pollsters will be explaining to all exactly how they were actually right… post-election. (Nates… jeez.) Until then, Kamala Harris seems to be ahead, in many places and in many polls. Not by a lot, but how much does she need? They say it’s tight, so doesn’t that also mean that it might be a landslide? There is good news economically. Gas is cheap. Oil is cheap enough to stockpile. The Fed cut its interest rate, which has got to be good or bad news for Harris, maybe? The Teamsters would have endorsed Kamala, but she has turned out to be more black and female than they had expected. nyhow, that’s a lot of good news, and who doesn’t like good news? Oh, right, I remember, Donald Trump and JD Vance. JD has done his research and will take the racial hatred in his heart over facts and decency any day of the week. At least Miss Sassy is safe, for now. Russians like bad news so much that they are manufacturing their own and shipping it into the US daily. Iranian hackers stole Trump info but couldn’t interest Biden in any of it.

The day is finally here! Wednesday, the day David Waldman welcomes Greg Dworkin and his Raft O’ Stories™! Greg did leave early to wrestle the bear in his back yard, but now there’s less than a day to count before Greg’s next return, so all is well. All seems pretty good with the Kamala Harris campaign.  Experts agree, the race is close, but Kamala is in the lead, which is generally considered the better place to be. The other good news is that hard working, tax paying Haitian immigrants are helping make Ohio’s “City of Roses”, Springfield, great again. The bad news is that Haitians are this election’s migrant caravan, and Springfield is this year’s Charlottesville. Long before he forgot where Haitians came from, JD Vance understood the idiocy and cruelty of villainizing them. Then he started working for idiot villain Donald Trump and has since changed his tune.  Trump wishes that commie fascist child trafficking murderers would be a little nicer to him before he hunts them all down, for the sake of democracy.

Today, David Waldman presents the KITM Donald Trump Pre-Sentencing Day Special, which isn’t inaccurate, they’re all pre-sentencing days from here to who knows when. And it’s been one day since the last failed assassination attempt… Is “assassination attempt” the correct phrase? Is “failed”? After all, no one’s rooting for it to happen, right? Rich Lowry would also like to clarify that he did not say the “n-word” on TV the other night, he just said some of the “n-word”. The Gop would like to redefine “failure”. Unfortunately for them, Mike Johnson is in charge of defining failure for the Gop. People weren’t sure if cryptocurrency was all a big scam, but that was before Donald Trump became involved. Meta/Facebook bans Russian state media... Kind of late, though. Why does Taylor Swift use jets to go everywhere when Elon Musk could just give her… no Elon shouldn’t give Taylor anything. Iran uses criminal gangs such as the Hell’s Angels to do their dirty work, and they probably use Telegram to place contracts. Of course, they are not the first ones to come up with this idea.

David Waldman and Greg Dworkin bring us the latest in news and punditry. Unfortunately, we begin our week under the cloud of another mass shooting… no wait, rehearsals went long, so that’s tomorrow’s news. Today, it’s another assassination attempt, and the only actual shooting was from Secret Service agents, and they missed, therefore the presently un-Jack-Rubied suspect still has the opportunity to explain himself, write in a vote for Vivek-Nikki, share some gun barrel bacon recipes and wait for Donald Trump’s pardon, while Republicans begin the search for something they don’t quite admire about him. Who knows, the guy could be a Taylor Swift fan. This is great news for Donald Trump. Not even an ear boo-boo this time, and the story does the job of taking people’s mind off the debate… at least Marjorie Taylor Greene’s “mind”… Or was that misdirection actually the job of JD Vance’s blood libel which is now trashing a city of his constituents? On Sunday, JD had to explain that it had become necessary to destroy Springfield in order to save it. Nationwide, Nates have surged to a high of 97% idiocy as we enter this stretch of the campaign, yet all experts still agree that it remains a tight race... albeit one that Kamala Harris leads in. In fact, in Iowa, Kamala is losing by quite a lot less! Voters everywhere believe that Harris has a good handle on the economy, as long as the economy continues to be good, but especially when the gas prices are low. George W. Bush isn’t saying that he’d support Harris, but Ronald Reagan would if he could. Martin Van Buren remains characteristically unforthcoming, however.  Donald Trump golfs — by far the best strategy he has for winning the election —  as if he hasn’t got a care in the world, which he probably doesn’t.  Iran is hiring criminal gangs, including Hells Angels, to hunt down regime critics anywhere in the world, including here. An Ohio sheriff wants the addresses of people with Harris yard signs, so that he knows who to target if she wins. Meanwhile, Tenet Media packed up its $10 Million in Russian cash and bugged out.

We’re already off to an unlucky start this Friday the 13th! Social media is exploding with speculation over whether Laura Loomer is steaming Donald Trump’s pants, so to speak. Murdery Traitor Greene, freshly targeted by a face-eating leopard, isn’t sure what Loomer is doing, but knows she doesn’t like it. But all you have to do is decide how much popcorn you want. We doubled back for a more detailed look at RFK Jr.’s cynical play in North Carolina. Sounds like it’s all the excuse Gop election board officials will need to claim grounds to refuse to certify election results there. JD Vance and Donald Trump are destroying Springfield, OH for what we can only guess is what they think is their political advantage. But it’s far from clear that local parents are glad their children’s schools are being swatted. Trump’s sure it’s all true, though, because he saw it on television. Which he did not. And the one local parent we’re actually hearing from would like politicians to stop exploiting his son’s death, thank you very much. Speaking of racist lies, here’s the background on another one that Trump told during the debate. No, no Venezuelan gang has taken over an apartment complex in Aurora, CO. But a local landlord facing a mounting pile of health and safety code violations—and a local Gop pol—wants you to think they have. With that one also debunked… have another lie! This time, to “explain” why Harris performed well, even it it doesn’t excuse why Trump sucked. And finally, here’s one you’ll have to finish yourself over the weekend. Maybe you’re not quite convinced that Trump returning to power will actually result in the flashy shows of political violence and/or authoritarian dominance he promises. But there are ways his lackeys plan to use the federal bureaucracy to make life a living hell for political opponents, like denying government benefits, services or assistance to… anyone they just don’t like.

David Waldman and Greg Dworkin present their post post debate analysis and yes, they will be endorsing Kamala Harris for president! They aren’t the only ones.  Liz Cheney, and her father — DICK! are favoring Harris, along with former AG and White House Counsel, Alberto Gonzales — DICK! On the other hand, Kamala has support from Taylor Swift and Linda Ronstadt (No word yet on the coveted Rex Smith vote) There’s also a Ben & Jerry's ice cream flavor. Yep, looks like Kamala might have this popular vote thing locked up. Meanwhile, Haitians stealing ducks is the new Blacks stealing chickens, a trope that hasn’t really evolved much over the last couple of hundred years, has it? And why should it? Plenty of potential voters yearn for that good old-fashioned anti-American bigoted conspiratorial propaganda. It isn’t that Donald Trump no longer knows how to talk to anyone outside his base… it is that he doesn’t need to. Trump wasn’t joking, he just wants to find those 11,780 votes. Why waste his time and hundreds of millions of dollars trying to influence tens of millions of TikTok zombies, when only a few million bucks of rural doorknockers can move a few thousand nonvoters into an electoral victory? Stephen Miller makes a lot more sense now (relatively speaking), as well as Laura Loomer, who rightfully horrifies Marjorie Taylor Greene as Marge is guaranteed to be the first up against the wall once the new regime commences. And yet we few remaining TV watchers pray that the fact-checkers and undecided voter panels get the job done... C’mon Swifties!

David Waldman and Greg Dworkin had concepts of a plan going into today’s KITM, and as usual it turned out really well for them. Today, we must remember September 11th, even those of us who don’t remember September 11. The presidential candidates head out to memorial services, and at least one will be talking about the events of that day. Donald Trump kind of lost the plot 23 years ago, so there is the chance he might weave in a few extraneous topics. Hey, that debate! An MMA cage match might have been about as relevant and a lot quicker, but in the end the results were the same: Down! Goes! Trump! It turns out that Kamala Harris is good at this stuff, so let’s just bring it on! Hold up... Trump says he won the debate, by a lot, and or it was rigged, “Sir, you were so strongly”, many say, but most don’t know that… the late, great, Hannibal Lecter...  Remember, whatever Donald Trump doesn’t know, undecided voters know far less, or of course they would not remain undecided voters… maybe. They could be worse — an RFK Jr. voter.

David Waldman presents today’s KITM Pre Post Debate Special. James Earl Jones, esteemed for a massive range of iconic roles, and many say a good voice over artist, has died at 93. Sadly, Mr. Jones will miss tonight’s presidential debate, foretold as the most momentous and consequential event anyone will ever see in any lifetime, according to the people making money from it. Conversely, no one really has a thing to gain from watching the debate, except for the people paid to talk about it tomorrow. Nevertheless, Donald Trump and Kamala Harris are relatively tied in the polls and thus will be assessed equally in tonight's debate. Therefore, Trump should expect to be judged by how provocative his trolling is, and Harris by her response coherence, literal accuracy, command of policy minutiae, vocal timbre, makeup and hair style, outfit choices, but most importantly, remaining appropriately feminine during her rebuttals. Will Donald’s target audience care what he says, especially once the press reinterprets it for everyone later? Or will Kamala be excoriated for beating up on an old man? On the other hand, Trump could just deny the debate ever happened.  Trump better win... and keep winning... or he promises problems like we've never had. Migrant caravans aren’t doing the job anymore, so now Venezuelans need to seize Aurora. Also, Haitians eat… ducks… when there’s perfectly good bears and dogs to go around. JD Vance can eat a whole bag of ducks for sticking to his racism because his racist MAGA voters want him to. Spotted as Russian operatives, Tenet media is out the window before their door can be knocked down.

David Waldman has been counting the days until Greg Dworkin returns, as that is a much more predictable and a lot more rewarding than waiting for justice to come to Donald Trump. 88% of all Nates are 100% wrong about the election, but which wrong are they? 2016 wrong? 2020 wrong? Time will tell! It depends on who you ask. Black Americans? Jewish Americans? Veterans? Liz Cheney is voting for Kamala, and so is Dick Cheney… DICK! Like pollsters, Corporate Media also needs to make their house payments, therefore they’re selling tickets to their “debate” that will decide the election for all of us, somehow. Except for those of us who don’t want a woman president, of course. If we can get past them, then good luck voting! Gops are using "great replacement fears" to shut out voters. The Heritage Foundation’s own “deportation scientist” discovered that lying about voter fraud works best with the gullible and those willing to accept lies. Donald Trump, as usual, was way ahead of the scientists on this. Trump understands that once elected he will need every dimwit violent bigot on his side, if he hopes to round up all the rest. Other fascistic savants include Texas Attorney General Ken Paxton, raiding Latino Democrats' homes and Florida Governor Ron DeSantis, having police visit people who signed abortion rights petitions. Meanwhile, James O'Keefe is working his way down the ladder in his political stings. Waffle House night managers should watch what they say to that guy with the price tag on his trucker cap stirring his coffee with a dildo. James and Donald know when it comes to billable hours it’s always Russia, Russia, Russia!

David Waldman counts down the days until… until the election, I guess. Liberal Thinking (‘m not sure what his friends call him, but I suspect there are some who call him “Lib”) tells us about the factors in Donald Trump’s “sentencing”. Remember that debate that Donald Trump thought he was going to at Fox on September 4? Donald didn’t find that debate, and the people who tuned in didn’t find a town hall either. The New York Times thought that they attended a discussion on economics, and for some reason decided to pretend that they had, even though all reality indicated otherwise. Donald continues to battle reality at Arlington Cemetary. It turns out that breaking the rules breaks the rules, and not breaking the rules doesn’t break the rules. The father of the Georgia school shooting suspect has also been arrested and charged. You know who would have preferred more stringent gun regulation? The Founding Fathers. Ace KITM Correspondent Rosalyn MacGregor tells us of the Michigan sheriff under investigation by the Bureau of Elections for using his department to host a Donald Trump campaign stop. Residents later attempted to scrub away the stain of White Supremist bigotry but will have a tougher time getting rid of that Donald Trump stench. Yes, Bethany Mandel is an obnoxious pest, but NE Ohioans know well her abrasive gadfly brother-in-law, Josh Mandel. Hell holds no surprises for anyone who attends one of their holiday meals. And yet, Josh wasn’t Sofa King weird enough to beat JD Vance into the Ohio Senate, and Donald Trump’s big fat… heart. Accelerationists like to pour gasoline on everything, figuratively and literally. They use the Telegram app to make plans with like-minded people.

Today, David Waldman and Greg Dworkin address the fundamental question consuming the attention of every true American this morning: Why doesn’t KITM make a LOT more money? For the price of only 20,408 cups of coffee per episode, certain commentators and influencers at Tenet Media have had their days brightened, thanks to you… Well, not “you”, but “Vladimir Putin”. Of course, we KITM staff have way too much integrity and imposter syndrome to consider something like that, or any of my other suggestions... alas. So, let’s pull up our lederhosen, wade through the schadenfreude, and look up some backpfeifengesicht out there, such as Tim Pool, Joshua Treviño, Ben Domenech, and Seth Mandel, but mostly Pat Toomey. Of course, one person’s “punchable face” is another’s “willing stooge”. With the Gop it is usually both. State Republicans have renominated 14 of their 84 fake electors and are finding ways to pay off the rest. Meanwhile, Liz Cheney has endorsed Kamala Harris for president. Burgermeister of backpfeifengesicht, Donald Trump is the world’s most willing stooge, and ready to sell anything, especially himself, anywhere at any time. Unfortunately for Donald, his weaving ain’t so tight anymore, and even MAGA is beginning to notice. If you know what accelerationists are, you can understand why they Telegram. By the way, today the nation is Under the Cloud of a Mass Shooting™. 

You know what’s wrong with this world? Not enough shows with David Waldman and Greg Dworkin. This is their first KITM this month! Hey look everybody, they’re having an election!  Watch where you’re stepping, savvy reporters, it’s once again time to walk amongst the hoi polloi.  Now that we’re all paying attention, how about them polls? Kamala Harris is ahead! Wait, she’s behind! It’s so confusing! Oh no, don’t make us ask a Nate! Well, Harris is on the top end of most polls, which is a good place to be, no matter how you look at it. Women are finally dropping Trump, as abortion rights finally becomes the last straw. Fun misogynist Donald Trump and his weird ward JD Vance hate talking about yucky women stuff, but that is just the topic Democrats want to discuss. The corporate press still wants to talk about Donald Trump. Kamala does not, and that’s driving the press and the Gops out of their minds.  Harris is outspending Trump in swing states, but if Donald ever thinks of anything that might work in an ad, he’ll be ready. RFK Jr. finds that it’s hard to run for vice president when he’s still running for president. One of the great things about the advent of the internet is that porn shop clerks no longer have to talk to lunatics like Mark Robinson every single day. The Girl Scouts still have to watch Mark’s greasy hands around their cookies, however. Jacob Wohl and Jack Burkman are amazingly not in prison. But if you ask their coworkers or their employers, they’ve never heard of them.

Hey, it’s the day after Labor Day, and you know what that means! For one, it means that it’s Tuesday, which means that not only is David Waldman back live, but so is Joan McCarter! Also, it’s the day that millions across the nation awake in the morning, craw out of their burrows, see their shadows, and realize the need to figure out who they will vote for. Kamala Harris and Tim Walz have already risen to the challenge, while Donald Trump and JD Vance extended their weekend. By the way, Snopes states that no one has yet verified that the specimen jars carried by Trump supporters contained “fake” JD Vance semen… I guess they need local couch cushions for a match? That awkwardly segues us into Trump’s promise to make government socialistically provide IVF treatments for gay couples and single cat ladies. Good for him! Although Donald might not have considered how his stance might affect IUI families, and the sensibilities of his Vice President, or even his previous Vice President. Meanwhile, the Harris-Walz team heads to Florida with a clearer stance. September also is the beginning of Congress’s legislative sprint, although there really wasn’t anything keeping them from starting earlier. House Gops now have only a few weeks left to impeach Joe Biden.  If you had time set aside to head to Bedminster to attend the gala in honor of January 6th rioters, or have your photo taken giving a thumbs up standing on Donald Trump’s freshly dug grave, you will be disappointed as both events have been again postponed. Public school teachers, already overworked and underpaid, are now expected to perform surprise sex change operations on their students.

Taking the day off -- again -- is the only sensible approach to Labor Day. Not that we've always done it. But we're doing it now, using this particular episode a second time, so that's what matters. It also gives us a chance to reflect on the fact that we're now marking two years since Biden's "Battle for the Soul of the Nation" speech. And while it's gratifying to see a few people FO what happens when they FA, we're a long way from done. Though one difference between this year and last: it has felt much more to me like that "Battle for the Soul of the Nation" was really happening. Here's how it felt two years ago, at the outset: David Waldman annotates our reading assignments for the weekend: President Joe Biden appeared before our entire nation last night to address the Soul of our Nation. Well, most of our nation. If all you have are rabbit ears on your TV you might have missed out. Joe believes in the goodness of Americans, including most Republicans. Biden did single out that deplorable sub-group of “MAGA Republicans”, pro-insurrection, anti-democratic, anti-American and a danger to everyone. Republicans respond angrily. MAGA Republicans respond angrily-er. Give the corporate media a minute to figure out what the real offenses might be. Much of this started with Newt Gingrich. Michigan reveals anti-democracy in action when the largest number of signatures submitted for a ballot initiative in state history were rejected by the two Republicans on the election board. The DOJ filed a detailed property inventory on the items seized at Mar-a-lago. Donald Trump never trusted anyone else with classified documents and had to take care of unloading them all himself. He was almost finished when the present President of the United States decided he had executive privilege over his remaining stock.

Normies are all still talking about Arlington. Good! The journalists, of course, are anxious to move on to the burgeoning scandal of Kamala Harris sitting down for an interview with CNN. Clearly there’s something wrong with this! At a minimum, they’d have to make sure Trump retains an advantage in his grading curve. Governor Moderate Vest’s flagship public university may be going the way of Meatball Ron. Brad Raffensperger and Brian Kemp wouldn’t do Trump’s bidding last time around. But will nuisance lawsuits and new rules adopted by MAGA officials clear the way to change their minds, or harden their resolve? Amazingly, it might actually be the latter! Don’t get the wrong idea, though! MAGA Gop loons in other “red” states are still intent on running wild. And Rosalyn MacGregor reports that things haven’t settled down crazy-wise in Michigan, either, where the weirdos are on a swatting tear. And with just 19 days left before Trump’s still-scheduled sentencing in New York, Liberal Thinking has done some… liberal thinking about how that could and should go.

Today, David Waldman presents today’s KITM, and in a respected and well-established Thursday precedent, Greg Dworkin will join him for a portion of the discussion. What a maroon! Illiterate egotistic traitorous dotard Donald Trump visited Arlington National Cemetery with the sole purpose of gaining attention. Mission Accomplished. Trump staff (featuring rehire Corey Lewandowski) are quite accustomed to treating dead soldiers as doormats, as well as the live ones, so how were they to know a simple felony photo-op “thumbs up” among Arlington's freshest graves would garner such negative vibes? Especially once the key witness was silenced. Trump will say it’s Biden’s fault. Journalists will write down “Biden’s fault”, which will be fact-checked as “true”. Our tiny speck of shared reality is being fought over memes, and at the moment they are shooting themselves in the foot.  If anything gets shot, RFK Jr. will eat it. Every moment of Donald Trump’s life has been a penny-ante flimflam, which you can now pay for in crypto. Meanwhile, the Kamalamentum continues its rise. Jeremy Fryberger’s multipart KITM series describes how you can become involved locally, and why you should do so NOW. Today, Jeremy looks at the situation in Minnesota!

David Waldman and Greg Dworkin deliver the newest news on today’s KITM. Reindicted! And it feeeels soo goooood! Jack Smith has charged Donald Trump in a superseding indictment following Judge Aileen Cannon’s phony baloney dismissal, but without setting off the Supreme Court’s phony baloney booby traps. Meanwhile, Donald Trump shrinks into his tiny hands. Smaller, weaker, more irrelevant each day. Yappy little toy Donald can yet be pretty nippy, and worse is even more obsessed with marking his territory. It will be impossible to remove Trump’s stench from Arlington National Cemetery. Of course, reporting on Trump’s thugs just make them seem like a bigger menace, which is their goal. A Georgia State Election Board member worked with MAGA to setup the denial of 2024 election Following Harris and Walz through Georgia, the media can finally move on from wondering when Kamala and Tim’s first interview will be to wondering when their second interview will be. Trump hasn’t quite agreed to all of Harris’ demands on their upcoming debate. (But he will.) Kamala just gets bigger and bigger. RFK Jr. hates Donald Trump. MAGA/QAnon are happy with him though, especially those who can’t spell RFK Jr. anyway.

David Waldman is here! No one else showed up, so today let’s call it a “private session”. We finally finish with Curtis Yarvin, the tech bro who could use a neckbeard to help show people where his face begins. Yarvin is a young idiot with money that knew a thing, and thus is expert in all things, and thus deserves all the money. In Curtis’ case, his brainy-evil scheme is to dispose with democracy and install a monarchy. Unfortunately for us, Yarvin is an influential young tech bro idiot. Speaking of, is Nate Silver the Nate most full of crap? Is 450 pages enough for you? Ben Affleck’s new friend, Kathleen “Kick” Kennedy, recounted for Town and Country the day her dad sawed off a whale head and got skull juice all over her family. Nothing weird about that. The DNC had a surprise guest after all: Covid. Still beats Kid Rock. What have you done today to help the Dems win?  Don’t forget the local races!

Happy birthday! Welcome to the My Birthday KITM Special hosted by David Waldman and Greg Dworkin. David had a birthday yesterday and Greg had one a few years back but has since abstained. What’s important, as always, is what they brought me today: It’s a close race! But… is it really? There’s a thin line between big wins for Harris and Trump, and since the fabulous Democratic National Convention, pundits are becoming less fearful of crossing the line over to Harris. Kamala’s a boon for Never Trumpers. many of whom will be quite amusing for a few more months before becoming pains in the ass again. We will soon forget, or want to forget, figures such as Gary Cohn calling Donald Trump “shit for brains” … See? You have forgotten Gary Cohn and already confuse him with Mets announcer Gary Cohen, who is totally different... I think. We might get to forget screwballs like Curtis Yarvin, anti-democratic monarchist, and idol to Sofa King weird JD Vonce. Hey, but we still have to win the election. Kamala and Tim are up for it, this week mining the purple and blue veins of red Georgia. They will persevere through, and expect us to persevere through, upcoming presidential and vice-presidential debates. They even expect the Republicans to show up! That’s a little much, considering Donald’s more of an evader than a debater. The Gops don’t even know who to send for the VP debate, after all, there’s plenty of fish in the sea. JD, eyeliner smeared, sobs into his couch cushions, or motorboats them, who can tell?  Don’t worry, fact checkers will look into it.

David Waldman watched the DNC last night and might need some more time to recover from all his Democratic exuberance.  Greg Dworkin though wasn’t even winded making 5 appearances in a row on KITM, (but it was nice for us.) Greg is back, demure and mindful as always, but with new purpose and joy following the blockbuster Democratic National Convention.  Rhode Island didn’t bring the calamari this time, but Georgia brought Lil Jon, and maybe we didn’t get Beyoncé, but we sure got Oprah. Best of all, Gops got Donald Trump, and we got Kamala Harris. As the NYT would say, Kamala got some good reviews, some bad, and now it’s up to the voters, some with a clue, some without. There’s now a chance that Trump might lose. That doesn’t mean he’s finished, unfortunately.  JD Clampett-Vonce might be Sofa King weird, but he knows what he likes, and he likes Curtis Yarvin, and Yarvin would love to see democracy die. The company that sent fake Biden robocalls in New Hampshire has been fined $1million. The guy who orchestrated the calls is facing $6million in fines. The fork-bending straitjacket-escaping digital nomad artist who created the AI robocalls spent $1.

David Waldman is back with today’s KITM, which you’d expect, but when have you heard Greg Dworkin so many days in a row? Can the internet take so much amusement and erudition? It’s morning in America. Who would have guessed that patriotism and joy would turn out to be such a popular combination? Ok, Oprah helped, but it couldn’t have happened without All-American Dad, Coach Tim Walz. It’s certainly not weird that Tim would have such an All-American family. And you know what? I thought Bill was terrific. He’s no rising star hot shot like Hillary, but still… All of this puts Kamala Harris right about where she wants to be heading into her acceptance speech tonight. At least it puts her where Republicans don’t want her to be, which is good for a start, and a good place to start picking up a few more points real soon. You won’t find a more lunatic pillow mogul than Mike Lindell, but this week you can refuse to accept cheap imitations! Mike, cleverly disguised as Roger Stone, successfully infiltrated the DNC, only to be spotted by alert pre-teen influencer Knowa De Brasco, who kicked Lindell in the shins for a while before realizing that Mr. Pillow was filled with more crap than foam rubber. Mike tried to insanesplain to the young man with his usual Gish Gallop, but Knowa ran out of pity and walked away. Meanwhile, uncommitted pro-Palestinian delegates signal that they would fully support the Harris ticket ,but so far have not signaled that they would behave themselves if they were allowed on stage.

Today, David Waldman and Greg Dworkin address the question pressing upon our national political zeitgeist: “Turn down for what?” Greg’s Raft O’ Stories looks more like a Mardi Gras float this morning, with all of the hopes and joys and enthusiasms in perfect array. Democrats understand the assignment which is, support the ticket, make America safe for snark… and have fun out there. JD Clampett-Vonce figures all of those smiles must have been A.I.’d  on. Hulk Hogan will slap them back off for you. Donald Trump is getting sick of slumming around with all of these basement dwellers, while MAGA… Zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz. They want all of this election nonsense to go away so they can just take over and move on to more interesting violations of national and international law.

USA! USA! USA! David Waldman welcomes special guest Joan McCarter and surprise special guest Greg Dworkin, for a patriotic Tuesday KITM. This is what democracy looks like! Day 1 of the DNC, and the bench was so deep that they had to bump James Taylor from the lineup because of all of the sustained applause for the speakers and laughter at Donald Trump’s expense. Jamie Raskin looked great out there, making certain there wasn’t any January 6 amnesia. UAW’s Shawn Fain was best dressed, and pointed out that Trump doesn’t just look like a scab, he actually is one. Michigan State Senator Mallory McMorrow threw the book at Trump and the project to which he is a pet, Project 2025.  U.S. men’s basketball team gold medal winning coach Steve Kerr put Donald to bed. Then there were the breakout stars like Raphael Warnock and Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez… You’ll be hearing a lot from those kids in the future! Then, there was Hillary Clinton, swoon! Hillary gave us a clear example of what could have been while telling us what can be in her barn burning (Fact: No barns were actually “burnt”) … stem-winding (Fact: Few stems had been proven “wound”) ... speech free of the petty punditry that previously dogged (Fact: No dogs participated) ... her in the past. Well, at least the media can’t get away with that crap anymore. And then... there was President Joe Biden! Joe got his speech out early to give Donald Trump time for his 2 AM posts. If you didn’t see some or any of the above, don’t worry. It will all be clipped and memed for your future enjoyment. Eventually we will find out who's is bigger, a competition Donald Trump has never won once in his life. 79% of all Nates are 90% full of crap. Trump will probably be forced to carry JD Vance to term, but that doesn’t mean he isn’t still contemplating a back-alley Youngkin at this late date. Of course, Trump could be putting off replacing Vance until after his overthrow of the United States.

How was your weekend? David Waldman dropped a kid off at college last year, but he found his way home, so David spent his weekend taking him back, while Greg Dworkin was forced to tie down his Raft O’ Stories before it floated away over the last few days of his local weather. A flood of joy will lift the attendees of the Democratic National Convention, where Dems will happily array themselves this week. It’ll be fun, and factual! Donald Trump floods Truth Social with A.I. BS., and enough racism to overflow into X. Sofa King weird JD Vonce flooded MAGA specimen cups with… ewwww! Let’s change the subject. How about that polling, huh? Is Washington's primary a harbinger of the election? Meanwhile, House Gops dropped their impeachment report on Biden, quickly pivoting over to Tim Walz before anyone could accuse them of wisdom. Tim Walz irritates MAGA by being white, male, a veteran and a football coach while refusing to be weird, corrupt, or own stocks. What does Team Trump plan to do in the face of all of these glad tidings? The same as they have always planned to do, destroy democracy. Trump has been moving to hijack the elections in Georgia now for years, by allowing locally planted election officials to stop the elections in their area, and thus the national election, based on a whim.

Ah, wasn’t this a nice week? David Waldman presents a nice KITM to end the week, hopefully leading to a nice weekend, a nice Monday, etc. Donald Trump did say a whole lot of stupid things yesterday.  Not accidentally, either. Trump and his campaign arranged for people to witness him being stupid right to their faces... Weird, huh? At this rate, Donald will have a low chance of becoming President, and zero chance of running the sample table at Costco. Trump achieved one milestone, however. It will be impossible to exaggerate, satirize, or even spoof Donald Trump’s statement in which he devalued the Medal of Honor on account it’s being bestowed upon people who are shot or dead. Shooting the US military in the middle of 5th Avenue might be a hard one for Donald Trump to top in the next 80 days. JD Vonce (pronounced shmih-GEH-gee) did go to the mattresses though with his statement that no Irish need apply to the Republican party. Of course, Tim Walz is a LIAR about his taco fixings, so both sides. Actually, both sides of the double haters don’t hate Kamala Harris at all. And who doesn’t love a visit from Grandpa Joe?   Therefore, the Donald Trump campaign reinstitutes Plan B, which was always Plan A, tossing out democracy and just taking over. To do that, MAGA will require a lot of people across many government functions, to abuse democracy just right, at just the right times. A well-ordered, efficient, perfectly ordered, government machine… Trump expects no less from the judicial system, complaining that all of those delays his lawyers finagled have now placed his sentencing at the worst possible time. Elon Musk’s favorite judge has decided that he likes his Musk stock better than Musk. Congratulations to the Florida Alligator, and its coverage of Ben Sasse’s corrupt stint at UF. It is also about time that arrests were made in connection to Matthew Perry’s ketamine death. Probably a coincidence, but right about when Donald Trump started getting his ass handed to him, things started to turn south for Russia... Slava Ukraini, and let’s hope, Heroiam slava!

Today, David Waldman tells us all about it, except for the stuff he’s leaving for tomorrow. Meanwhile, Greg Dworkin has hauled in so many polls this week that he had to commandeer Chitown Kev’s Raft O’ Stories to ship them all. Kamala Harris is surging in the polls, cash, crowds, enthusiams, and those mainstream media required “vibes”. Everywhere Kamala is roaring ahead, securing a lead of… the margin of error. Of course, that’s not the whole story. There’s who’s she’s moving, where they’re moving, what ages are moving, who’s moving with her, and who won’t be moving back. A lot of good news there. As Kamala soars, Trump is sore. Every Gop is telling Donald to be less Trump, yet while giving the people more Trump. This will be a tough order for our favorite mouthy dotard, especially when his happy spot is racist authoritarian babble, and his running mate is a weirdo. Therefore, Team Trump will buy ads that say… something and rehire… Corey Lewandowski. There’s nothing new left for Donald to try, outside of attempting to vote in multiple locations. There is something old that Donald Trump can try. He can try again to plant people throughout the electoral system for another go at hijacking the election. Tina Peters would volunteer once more for duty, but she’ll be otherwise occupied this season. If all this makes you miss the old-fashioned simple money grift, visit sunny Florida, where it has never gone out of style.

Today, David Waldman unleashes the KITM upon the enemies of democracy and purveyors of the weird. Meanwhile, Greg Dworkin unloaded his big Raft O’ Stories™, including a large consignment of polls, which may not be any more accurate, but sure are more pleasant than they used to be. Many people approve of President Joe Biden’s Vice-Presidential choice. Not uncoincidentally, many also approve of Kamala Harris’ Vice-Presidential choice. People do like Tim Walz even though Tim might be ruining the career hopes of both J.D. Vonce and Mike Lindell. (Forget those scurrilous innuendos, J.D. doesn’t hike up his skirt for just any sofa.) Donald Trump rode the Epstein Express, again, the other day, to pay his respects at his first wife’s grave… fondly known as “the rough”.  Fresh off his spectacular Dunning–Kruger-palooza, Elon Musk now focuses his towering intellect toward Texas, home of his favorite federal judge, Reed O’Connor. Reed loves Elon, or at least his stock… that is, Tesla stock, which any honest judge would never confuse with Elon Musk… Let’s say so long to Tina Peters, former Mesa County clerk, present convicted felon, and future Arizona prison inmate. Tina was quite outspoken following her conviction, which would not garner approval from Minnesota Senatorial candidate Royce White, foe to local water fountains.

Thank you and congratulations to David Waldman and Justice Putnam with Netroots Radio, for their uninterrupted years of streaming with 0 days of massive DDOS attacks. Donald Trump and Elon Musk could not have possibly imagined their interview working any differently to how it did... X has more bugs than a bayou, while decompensating weirdo Trump hasn’t had any new to say for months. Combining the two ended up creating a Dunning-Kruger singularity which swallowed up their colossal egos for almost an hour. Tragically, both escaped. As usual Elon’s billions cushioned the blow for him, but for racist daffy duck Donald, it could be the beginning of the end… even maybe finally the end of the end. Whichever it is, don’t look to Politico, The New York Times or The Washington Post to tell you. They know but aren’t saying. After all, they’ve heard that Trump is suing the Department of Justice for $100 million claiming political persecution for the 2022 Mar-a-Lago raid, which is stupid, unless he’s elected, and then everything will be stupid. One-fifth of University of Florida professors were pushed out before tenure, saving the university untold millions of dollars, which coincidentally was just the amount UF president Ben Sasse wrote on his checks to Gop allies. Joan McCarter is back, and sunnier than ever. Kamala Harris keeps making more sense to sensible voters, while Gops and Magas keep discovering new ways to ruin their own lives. Of course, it helps that the real troublemakers are out on vacation.

This morning, David Waldman took his mind off the end of the 2024 Olympics the only way he knew how, by abseiling through the KITM World Headquarters atrium skylight onto Greg Dworkin’s speeding Raft O’ Stories™ for his Monday show. Donald Trump would say that was “A.I.’d”, or faked or rigged or something, because he’s weird that way. Trump will definitely remember it all that way, as all the old guy’s memories are only wishes that he made to fill in his many holes of shame and regret. Was Donald’s helicopter story designed to smear Kamala Harris, or just a fantasy holding his few neurons together? It could be both, as Trump has long been weird and vicious, well before he was old and decrepit. Unfortunately, it’s the US who has the memory problems on that. Many MAGA weirdos are looking to the comfort of self-delusion, but what seemed a bottomless well has begun to run dry. Some will keep trying to trash Tim Walz’s character, which will work about as well as taking on Kamala Harris on Abortion. Fox News tries embracing reality as do conservatives attempting to rescue conservatism.  Yet, J.D. Vance remains Sofa King (And, sometimes Sofa Queen) weird. It’s not weird that Donald isn’t landing at airports that might repo his airplane… the guy’s lousy with money after all. But the Secret Service… They’re weird. Really weird.

It’s Friday, so David Waldman brings us the up-to-date and up-to-the-weekend news. Two of the national pastimes of Russia, playing chess and poisoning each other, clashed at a regional chess tournament. Apparently, there were no open windows nearby. Donald Trump… remember him? Yesterday, he held a MAJOR press conference to set the record straight on his crowd sizes. Bigger than Kamala’s! Bigger than Martin Luther King’s!  Same real estate, same everything! Nobody's spoken to crowds bigger than Trump! Then grandpa dotard reminisced about the time that he and some Brown guy almost crashed their helicopter. Fact-checkers found discrepancies in Trump's story… for instance, it didn’t happen. Second of all, Trump was lying. Third, who would ever expect the truth from Donald Trump at this late date? What will be the next surprise move from Donald Trump (That won’t be a surprise to anyone)? Jack Smith hopes to give Donald a few late surprises. It would be a nice surprise to see an insurrection charge. Florida is learning that ideology is a bad replacement for competence. The DeSantis “Stop WOKE Act” violates people's constitutional rights... Who would have guessed that? And, a Florida school district demonstrated superb title-reading skills by banning the book “Ban This Book”.

It’s Thursday, and David Waldman and Greg Dworkin are back and not weird as ever! Sofa King weird... J.D. Vonce (pronounced "shmuhk") and his beta buddies tried to impress Kamala Harris by pretending they were flying her plane when she was not looking. Donald Trump was going to let J.D. play the big weirdo for a few days but just couldn't stand it and had to get in front of cameras today to destroy his campaign personally. I didn't watch it. Did anyone ask Donald about flying with the Project 2025 leader in 2022? Kamala Harris and Tim Walz are unapologetically unweird. Tim Walz is your favorite high school teacher you sometimes wish was your dad. Kamala Harris is your other favorite after shutting down the troublemakers in the back of the classroom. Kamala's hecklers either want to impress Trump or their buddies. Either way, they are picking the wrong way to get what they want, whatever that is. Voters are so relieved to have a normal ticket to vote for. Arizona, Georgia, and Nevada have moved from lean Republican to toss-up. Meanwhile, Judge Tanya Chutkan has taken back the reins on Trump's Jan. 6 prosecution and is all about the giddy-up. Jenna Ellis is flipping in Arizona's fake elector's case, although she could flip a little more to take the "un" off of "Unindicted Co-Conspirator #1". Perhaps a few more flips will do the trick. This is why the world can’t have nice things. A terrorist planned a suicide attack at a Taylor Swift concert in Vienna.

David Waldman and Greg Dworkin, “Deadpool and Wolverine” of the KITM Cinematic Universe, are paired up once again on our Wednesday show. It’s Balz to the Walz for the next 90 days, and Tim Walz showed he has what it takes in his first campaign speech yesterday. Tim is the happy warrior Kamala wanted and we all need. Walz is not perfect, however. Tim Walz spent only 24 years in the armed services, from private to command sergeant major. In his 18 years of public service, Governor Walz never once reached a 100% approval rate. Republican operatives are salivating at the chance to talk hardcore policy with their MAGA voters. Josh Shapiro will not be running for VP, angering no one more than the Gops who do their opposition research on Stormfront. Now that the race is set, Donald Trump can clinch the vote by showing how really cool and hip and fun and not at all weird that he and MAGA truly are. For instance, did you know that Donald is Dennis Quaid’s asshole? That would make J.D. Vonce (pronounced “puhts”) Dennis Quaid’s taint, although you might guess otherwise based on how tightly J.D.’s been attached to Kamala recently.  Vonce’s texts with MAGA troll Charles C. Johnson show how both of them are Sofa King weird.

Breaking! Well, it was this morning… David Waldman reports that Kamala Harris picked Tim Walz as VP, as spell checks across the nation are informed that no, you don’t want to add a “t” there. Now, the race is on to find something wrong with Tim.  According to the Antichrist’s own mad-libbed fundraising email, Walz will unleash HELL ON EARTH, but mostly Tim seems like a really nice guy. Critics will point out Walz’s age, which is MONTHS older than Kamala, but for right now voters see only one old guy in the race. Walz does have “big dad energy”, but Donald Trump is the weird sleazy racist dotard GOAT to beat. Big brave psychiatrists with tears in their eyes have told Trump that he’s a whackadoodle, a few even expressed their concerns about him to Nancy Pelosi. Trump fans don't mind any of that. They just want to know why Donald isn’t man enough to debate Kamala. MAGA ralliers shook “You’re Fired!” signs at the last Trump rally, pretty soon they’ll be chanting “Lock Him Up!” When is Clarence Thomas going to be locked up? His behaivor has Bob Menendez shaking his head. Alas, it is how the Founding Fathers wanted it. Fellow member of the Black Robe Gang, Neil Gorsuch, warns people away from his buddy. Unfortunately, Dick Durbin keeps a grip on that blue slip. Far-right racists seem pretty easy to goad into rioting. Just wait and see what Russian-linked ‘news’ outlets have planned for America in January.

On today’s KITM, David Waldman and Greg Dworkin, who always raise the bar for journalistic and punditary analysis and commentary, add sports talk to the mix! They discuss the Paris Olympics, where the margin of victory can be measured by thousandths of a second or a few white blood cells. Kamala Harris has chosen the running mate that you will love unless you’re some kind of weirdo, of course. Most of those are over there, but we still have a few. You are guaranteed that more people will be happy with the Democratic VP over J.D. Vance, who is just Sofa King weird. Then there’s RFK Jr. weird. Find a dead baby bear, take selfies with the corpse, decide to eat it, but drive it to NYC to stage its death in an accident, weird. That guy ain’t normal, but Bob’s not Trump MAGA weird. That requires an extra scoop of psychopathic treason and a sidecar of nihilistic greed. Isn’t it nice that we have Kamala Harris? Swing states think so. Latinos agree. The hospitality workers union is right there with them. Russian disinformation disguised as American news is fomenting riots in the UK as a rehearsal for the US post-election.

David Waldman brings us to the end of a Quite Weird?™ week. Don’t expect it to become more normal soon. Why are conservatives mad today? It could be a lot of things. Boxer Imane Khelif might identify as a woman, be born female and such, but conservatives have always held Olympic competitors to a certain standard. They’re never mad about racism, but pretty angry about having it always pointed out. There are few things that make Donald Trump angrier than missing a cut from a hostage deal that he had a chance to cash in on. Trump might have missed out on a huge score too, who knows how much he could have pocketed. If Trump gets back into office he will make certain that he maintains a better mood. Egyptian President Abdel Fatah El-Sisi might have boosted Donald’s spirit with 100,000 $100 bills. This was one of many things Bill Barr decided that you didn’t need to know about. Steven KG Bannon’s previous “home” was previously “leased” from “landlord” Mustafa Elgindy, and there’s not enough scare quotes in the world for that guy.

Doubles combat juggling is yet to become an Olympic sport, therefore, David Waldman and Greg Dworkin remain here, available for today’s Thursday KITM. Many today are divided on whether Donald Trump's NABJ Interview was a “train wreck,” “trainwreck” or “train-wreck.” It can be a combination, of course, like Kamala Harris’ racial heritage. What did Donald think he was doing? Well, he hasn’t really thought since the 80’s, which frankly has worked well for him until recently. Even Tommy Tuberville would have thought this one out more thoroughly. What level of weird and stupid is Donald Trump?  Is he at “Laura Loomer” weird and stupid, or “Tomi Lahren” stupid and weird? Again, why quibble about nuances? Trump is comparable to weirdbilly hillweirdo J.D. Sofa King Vance, who demands women forego a career to be tradwives, unless the woman is Simone Biles, then shame on her for catching her breath. Trump is very, very old and way past Vance’s useful idiot “use by” date, though J.D.’s shelf life might be measured in Scaramuccis. It looks as if Vladimir Putin has been following the shift in the Trump ticket and decided not to get on the bad side of our future Commander-in-Chief.  In great news, Tim Walz is great, and Josh Shapiro is also great, following a slight arrayment of a few Democrats.

Today, David Waldman and Greg Dworkin go far beyond the schemas, unless there’s somebody really weird that they want to talk about. News of the Weird: Weirdo welfare king, Sofa King weird J.D. Vance feels that Simone Biles is too weak for a gold medal. Jesse Watters feels that voting for women turns men female. Donald Trump feels that anyone could take one look at Kamala Harris and know that she is not him. The Weird Right do prefer Christian ham sandwiches yet are unable to explain why Gop hotdogs are cocktail-sized. Doug Emhoff is not Jewish enough for Donald Trump, and Kamala is not Black enough. Kamala wonders if Donald is man enough to say any of that to her face. VP Harris is trending upward in swing states. She’s trending upward all over the place. Never-Trumpers might become Okay-Sure-Why-Not-Harrisers. Kamala isn’t saying who her running mate choice is, but she will be saying it in Philadelphia… Pennsylvania. Weird, isn’t it, that Peter Thiel would be behind the too-online choice of weirdbilly J.D.? It’s weird how Chief Justice John Roberts has become more MAGA as his SCOTUS has become more MAGA. Kari Lake may be the only joke that ever made Donald Trump laugh. Project 2025 is pretty dark, but it's the one Trump joke that keeps on giving. The Trump rally gunman stopped firing after a local officer shot at him. (He stopped giving interviews after the Secret Service shot at him.) Security footage of Kenneth Chesebro and other Trump henchmen repeatedly attempting to overthrow democracy will be useful once we get back around to trying all of them and putting them in jail.

On today’s KITM, David Waldman welcomes back Joan McCarter to thrill us with more weird tales from the Gop! Creepy! J.D. “Sofa King” Vance is weird… Sofa King weird. The weird thing is, today’s weirdo Vance (Pre-beard and mascara J.D. was actually almost... normal.) is far from as weird as they get in Gop MAGA land, or as creepy, offensive and dangerous. He is pretty weird, though. With 193 thousand attendees raising $4.2 million in three hours, “White Dudes for Harris” can’t be too weird. After all, it is about time that demographic straightened up their act. Hey, we’re having fun, and that's what matters. That, and winning, which is really fun. For instance, if Donald Trump doesn’t show up at the next debate, won’t that be fun? Vice President Kamala Harris isn’t just here for the laughs, she’s taking the fight directly to Trump on his abortion ban in Iowa. North Carolina Governor Roy Cooper can’t turn his back on his Lieutenant Governor lunatic weirdo to run as Kamala’s running mate, so he withdrew for consideration. Idaho had a lunatic weirdo Lieutenant Governor once. America’s gun fetish is weird. Sad and weird. Chicago will try suing Glock for making guns easy to modify and abuse. OG weirdo Wayne LaPierre had to be banned from holding a paid position with the NRA for the next 10 years. Weird! The Jan. 6 security tapes released by House Republicans show Ken Chesebro’s handoff of fake elector documents one day before the failed insurrection riots.

Hey, we’re back! Well, Greg Dworkin is back, anyway. I never left! I just forgot to turn my computer on every day for a week. Sorry about that! That — like Trump — is Weird!   So, during the time I forgot to turn my computer on, the Democratic Party decided to go a different direction with its presidential nomination. And that seems nice! In fact, people seem to like it. Which is also nice. And if you remember the excitement among the Black Greeks when she was nominated as VP, it’s nothing compared to the excitement this time. Whereas with the other recent news regarding the presidential tickets, people do not seem to like JD Vance. He is a jerk and a weirdo, and people want none of it. And if you’d rather criticize him on policy grounds, he prefers policies that are jerky and weird that people want none of.   Of course, as weird as Vance is, Trump is still the original weirdo, in so many ways. And the weirdness is catching. There’s even weirdness in Venezuela, now.   Oh, if you were looking for hard news from the United States of American, please note that the Biden administration (still in power) has got a free hand on SCOTUS reform now, too.

What a summer! Joe Biden had a kinda lackluster debate, Donald Trump was kinda shot in the ear, Democrats were kinda whistling past the graveyard and then David Waldman went on vacation, and it kinda feels like we joined him, doesn’t it? Ah, months away from October and finally, they’re probably out of surprises. Granbury, Texas residents are being driven crazy by the noise of their local crypto-mine. Imagine the noise of chainsaw 24/7 outside your window. It’s destroying the lives and the health of residents but doesn’t bother anyone running the mine or the state at all, as it is far from their backyards.  Most Granburians and crypto-miners are pretty conservative, though, and you know how they feel about limiting anyone’s liberty or freedoms.

Once again, a throwback to the days of the 2020 Democratic National Convention. You had to hear about the Republican one last week. This week, while I’m taking in the scenery out west, we can talk about that last time the Dems did their thing. David Waldman and Greg Dworkin welcome you to the climatic final day of the 2020 Democratic National Convention, brought to you by Donald Trump. If the world didn’t have so much to fix, the convention wouldn’t have been half as good. Kamala Harris already changed the world for the better last night. And! Last night, The President of the United States returned to address the nation! Makes one feel good to be an American. Of course, the more things change, the more they remain the same. Some whinef or more, while some are out there making it happen. Bill O’Reilly worries Biden-Harris might turn their back on him. No one has turned their back on O’Reilly in years. We’ll see how the Gop convention turns out for him. (Not brought to you by Goodyear) Crusted phlegm Steve KG Bannon was arrested and indicted, charged with fraud and money laundering, after illegally shaking down wall-loving rubes. Steve might be wearing his overlapping half dozen popped-collar orange jumpsuits for the next 20 years. Joining him are a rogue’s gallery of villainy, including Kris Kobach, Erik Prince, Tom Tancredo, Sheriff David Clarke and former pitcher Curt Schilling, along with anyone else in the swamp that heard “wall” and “money”.  Donald Trump hasn’t heard of any of those guys. It has been revealed that the Senate Intelligence Committee made criminal referrals of Donald Trump Jr.,  Jared Kushner, SteveBannon, Erik Prince and Sam Clovis to federal prosecutors in 2019. Trump’s attempt to dodge a subpoena for his tax records was nixed by a federal judge. The election will not go smoothly, and Trump will cause trouble. How much trouble will we allow him to cause? Louis DeJoy promised a couple things, but isn’t about to repair the damage he already created. Also, he was lying about stopping. Laura Loomer is a loon, but Qanon is nuts, and now they’re coming to DC. What’s the problem with electing representatives of terrorist groups to the other side of the metal detectors? Then there’s Russia. Russiagate was not a hoax. Russia could turn out to be a little too real. Also, there is a COVID-19 pandemic. People keep tossing it out there, and people keep catching it.

David Waldman is still on vacay this week, from last Friday through this Friday… Hey listen, when David gets back… no one tell him about Joe and Kamala! It’ll be a hoot! Justice Roberts subverted the Separation of Powers and created a dangerous precedent, and a dangerously unaccountable President… but he probably never thought it might also empower a responsible one so quickly. Judge Aileen Cannon released 93 pages of myopia to pave the way for her and Donald Trump’s escape from the Mar-a-Lago stolen documents case. How was Aileen to know that special prosecutors were “a thing”? Now everyone pestered by a special counsel has been gifted a giant fly-swatter. A lie can travel half the world while the truth is pulling on his shoes, said somebody, maybe. A lie, however, can make money for years longer than the truth could ever hope for.

Well, we couldn't quite get it together to have fresh material for every day of the break. So for this Tuesday and Thursday, we bring you our regular guests on their regular days of the week, only this time, they're counterprogramming last week's Republican National Convention with our coverage of the last Democratic National Convention. From 2020! David Waldman is joined by Joan McCarter at KITM 2020 Democratic Convention World Headquarters to assist in blowing up virtual balloons, singing Springsteen and reviewing yesterday’s opening night. Analysts and hecklers were sidelined, and no funny hats, but Michelle Obama spoke directly to me, and so far that makes it the best ever. Tonight: Chuck Schumer! ...Followed by John Kerry! Woohoo! And following them… a minute or so of Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez. (Probably in conjunction with her AMA on Instagram.) Donald Trump didn’t like it. No one appreciates that Trump has done so much more for the crummy, horrible, dumb people in the United States. In fact, Donald could talk your ear off about how ungrateful the Blacks and the Jews are these days. Suburban housewives though, they can shut up. He’s brought them a long way, baby. Trump will announce an executive order allowing Rosa Parks to sit anywhere on a bus in 1955. Also, it’s now legal for Susan B. Anthony to vote in 1872.   Anyhow, Michelle got Trump’s COVID-19 death toll wrong. He’s scored 30,000 more than she said, at least! Meanwhile, 71 of Mississippi's 82 counties are reporting coronavirus outbreaks on their first day of school. The jury’s still out on whether Adrenochrome, harvested from the fear of children, has a beneficial use against COVID-19—“the jury” being bat-shit crazy Qanoners who are now stealing kids to get their own little taste. Speaking of evil, Postmaster General Louis DeJoy (not to be confused with non-evil short track Hall-of-Famer Don LaJoie) is destroying the Post Office to swing the election, and his stock portfolio. Susan Collins is concerned. Mitch McConnell is not concerned, yet. But Steny Hoyer and Nancy Pelosi are working to coax him out of his shell. Trump just might pardon Edward Snowden… and there’s a senate report confirming Russia used Paul Manafort and WikiLeaks to sway the 2016 election. Remember emoluments? There are three pending cases on Trump’s violation of the emoluments clause, and it looks as if they will be pending still on election day. Remember Miles Taylor? Donald Trump does not. Katie Walsh led talks to remove Trump from the 2016 ticket. You might remember her as an RNC superstar, and one of the only “pro”s to work at the Trump White House.

David Waldman is away on holiday! I am away on holiday! Greg Dworkin isn’t away on holiday, but I don’t believe he has an office key… What will we do now? For the first time in KITM’s storied history we will present a pre-recorded ALL-NEW KITM, and this ALL-NEW summary of same. Why not? It’s summer, nothing much is happening… J.D. Vance is an insignificant suck-up in an insignificant position at a very significant time, at a very young age. Vance is the tip of the spear of Project 2025. Black women are squarely behind the Biden-Harris ticket, and approve of Kamala as much as Joe, which is somehow seen as a problem. School vouchers are said to save taxpayer money, but only by the dishonest to the credulous.

David Waldman is both away, and back today for a paradoxically ALL-NEW KITM! The challenge for David will be determining what… or who might still be around and relevant by our release dates. J.D. Vance is as opportunistic and aggressive as Covid. Don’t expect J.D. to be gone anytime soon. Vance is only 39, but he’s had grifts going for years. He once sold an anti-opioid effort to hill… Appalachian areas in southern Ohio that ran through its cash in a couple of years by hiring reps from the pushers to sleuth out the culprits in their addiction crisis. J.D. is all set to be the perfect heir to Donald Trump and Vladimir Putin’s anti-globalization peace plan. Meanwhile, a federal appeals court blocked all of President Joe Biden’s student debt relief. Are Donald Trump and Republicans finally sick of winning? Will they win so much that they’ll forget to win in November? Probably not, but it’s nice to think about.

Today, David Waldman and Greg Dworkin deliver all of the up-to-the-minute RNC coverage we want and demand, which is none. Into the annals of history (Wikipedia) with Abscam, the Keating Five, and uhm “Rubbergate”, now goes Senator Bob Menedez, judged qualified to headline his very own corruption scandal and maybe even a couple hundred years of jail time. Getting Bob into history books and prison is easy though, compared to getting him out of Senate. That might take some effort. J.D. Vance got into politics for more than the bread. Vance has proven to be a zealous believer in whatever gets him to the next rung, just like his idol-idolizer Tucker Carlson. Tuck and J.D. understand that the quickest way to Donald Trump’s heart is up his ample behind, that soft spot that Donald reserves for his most ardent parasites. MAGA will tell you, Donald Trump can’t lose this election. He. Can. Not. Lose. There is no alternative, to them. But, if that inconceivable event to them happens, they will just add more enemies to their enemy list.  Democrats can win still, and will hopefully resist running their own Trump in 2028. Hey, remember when Donald Trump was shot, or almost shot, maybe? Well, it turns out that the shooter just might not be the only one that ever thought of shooting Donald Trump! Donald was caught on tape reminiscing about his courage in the face of danger with Robert F. Kennedy's son, along with discussing the real terror facing the world, baby vaccination.

It’s Tuesday, so David Waldman and Joan McCarter are here to reminisce on the good old days back when Donald Trump was a convicted felon… Oh, he still is? Well, it is only Tuesday. Yes, it’s another Donald Trump miracle. Could it be… God who keeps doing it? After all, He does have a dark sense of humor. Who else would place three snipers under the roof  that the rally shooter was climbing upon? Or suggest the shooter and his family to the Trump campaign as prime 2A voters? (Btw, has anyone broke it to Donald that one of his props was damaged at the rally?)   It could be that He needsTrump to stick around to keep J.D. Vance from moving up. Yale-Yokel Vance might seem as American as apple pie, following the release of his book “Hillbilly Elegy” (Both pandering and condescending towards MAGA in just two words), but there’s a lot more than his press release to the guy. Donald might soon need more than Matrix-level ducking skills once the election’s over and Project 2025’s man is impatiently second in line.

Tragic news. Media icons Dr. Ruth Westheimer and Richard Simmons passed away this weekend. They say these things ”happen in threes”… Wait! You... wouldn’t think that…  No! ...David Waldman and Greg Dworkin are both alive and well and here to bring us a brand new KITM this morning. Whew! In other news, Hell can wait. Donald Trump got yet another pardon Saturday afternoon. Not only is Trump totally exonerated again and has officially attained his long-awaited turning point toward presidential behavior, but Joe Biden, along with anyone left of J.D. Vance, received a million new opportunities to fail. Political assassinations are a time-honored tradition in the United States. It’s 2024 though, so there’ll be a thousand Zapruders, and now a Jack Ruby can arrive in under 20 minutes. Of course, every Trump rallier has already been interviewed hundreds of times over the years: “I hollered over t’ Ethel, I said ‘Don’t look Ethel!’ but it was too late...” Firefighter Corey Comperatore (Corey would have preferred “fireman”) died a hero, but lived a Trumper. Gunman Thomas Matthew Crooks was no angel either, you know. When Donald Trump is soon elected CEO of America he plans to cut back intel sharing with Europe, because he’d rather be intel selling. In response, Russia is expanding into assassinating CEOs. AOC understands that Clarence Thomas and Sam Alito constitute a clear danger to our democracy. Clarence Thomas understands that democracy constitutes a clear danger to him, so he threw Aileen Cannon a bone, and Donald Trump one more get out of Hell free card. Alec Baldwin didn’t need Clarence Thomas to make him a free man, just a confused prosecution. 

Today David Waldman welcomes Ian Reifowitz, Distinguished Professor of Historical Studies and author of three… almost four books! Ian takes a break from his analysis of stereotypes in Donald Trump’s rhetoric to chat about the election and lend his distinguished air to our airwaves. Hell no, Joe won’t go. President Joe Biden’s successful press conference last night, coupled with his general successes as a civil servant and human being have honed down the voter’s choice between Biden and… well, it’s the easiest decision anyone could ever make in a voting booth. Even the New York Times can't bothsides this anymore. Not that it matters, at all, to how the election will come out. Russia planned to assasinate the German CEO of an arms manufacturer selling weapons to Ukraine. The potential future CEO of USA Inc., Donald Trump, would see a better ROI partnering with like-minded country bosses over ones that his employee-citizens might prefer. It’s just good business sense.

Due to scheduling conflicts today, David Waldman and Greg Dworkin will present a One-Hour Fun-Size KITM Special. All the stories, half the raft! Tonight, President Joe Biden has one more chance… to fail. From this point on, each of Biden's appearances will be examined as a potential point of failure, just as each of Trump’s has been examined as a pivot towards being presidential. In fact, if Joe ever succeeds again, the media will consider it an act of betrayal. I mean, you wouldn’t want to make a fool out of George Clooney, would you? But… What if Biden were to become less old? Or even more unlikely, if fewer voters were to care about how old Joe was? Well, pollsters... generally as accurate as entrail readers or divining rod dowsers, but paid better… have determined that the race is still even-ish. Kamala Harris does have the edge on Trump, as probably does Tom the Mime and the Hawk Tuah girl. But what about Project 2025? Donald Trump doesn’t know a thing about it, but that’s okay, the authors don’t need Trump to, and frankly, won’t need Trump shortly after the election. Already, Gops casually abuse the power that Dems were once afraid to even look at.  Trump is now diverting money from Get Out The Vote into You’ll Never Vote Again.

Today on KITM, David Waldman and Greg Dworkin mark the 5,459th Wednesday of Donald Trump’s villainy. Who’d guess that the overriding concern of voters since 2019 on Joe Biden would continue all the way out to 2024? Us Dems, warmly ensconced in our comfy media bubble, had kind of an inkling for a while, but had no idea of how harsh it actually was outside. Maybe, if we got back inside really quick, it might all work out? No. That’s it. Joe has made his decision. (Unless he makes a better one.) Remember, in case of emergency, there has always been a Vice President, who in a perfect world with perfect people would be the perfect choice right now. More people are identifying as Republicans recently, especially in the youth vote… a little worrisome to establishment Democrats for some reason… Shut up! Joe Biden is our candidate! Look at how well he’s done with Israel and Gaza! I mean, he did the best he could, and that’s all we’re asking for, right? Joe Biden will not be implementing Project 2025, even as that might mean untold numbers of incels won’t get laid. Anyhow, the guy President Joe Biden is running against, what’s his name, coward, bully, cad, thief, and arch-enemy of democracy. When will that guy be brought to justice… and stay there? Ah, but that’s “old news”, which nobody talks about, unless it’s old news that everyone is talking about, which would be news.

Justice Putnam threw us a curve ball this morning, with word that Marla Maples is ready to accept the mantle of the vice presidency. It could happen! Prepare yourself for the next stage of The Convicted Felon’s obstruction of justice: blocking his trial judges from carrying out their orders from SCOTUS. So… ready for Supreme Court reform? Here’s a new angle on it, that seeks to build a little more fairness into the system. Super-perv Donald Trump surrounds himself with under-pervs, as you well know. A.J. Delgado, whose face was eaten by a leopard, knows it too. And has the texts to prove it. Oh, and RFKJr. is a f-ing wackadoodle. When Joan McCarter stops by, she helpfully explains that I’ve misunderstood the latest Gop conspiracy theory, but not to worry, because the one she was talking about is just as dumb as the one I was imagining. And speaking — as we were before — about the need for SCOTUS reform, Joan’s been talking about that since forever. So we talk about it some more. In what might be a sneak preview of a future post, Joan entertains us with the story of the caucus that one day hopes to kick all its own members out: the House Freedom Caucus.

David Waldman joined our sad lot who watched the first debate. Although with a little bit of space David decided that the debate wasn’t the worst that could be imagined. Greg Dworkin filled his Raft O’ Stories™ at ports around the world to reveal what we (hopefully) have in common. Sacre bleu! France blocked the takeover by their far right, even when it meant sacrificing their own to do it. Blimey! The British rejected its right wing as well, even if they couldn’t accept a Prime Minister who looks like John Oliver portraying Thurston Howell III. Around the world, Gen X drives the right, but the rest of us are wising up to the ultraright takeover. How about the U.S. of A., land of the free, home of the brave? The more people learn about Project 2025 the less they like it. Which is why Donald Trump will let the states… or the federal government decide… or the Supreme Court, who cares? Whatever exonerates him the most. Donald will have people to take care of that, and you. But, what about Joe? And/or Kamala? Well, buck up buttercups, Biden’s back, baby.

Something, something, US and UK, July 4th, yadda yadda. Only this time, the UK was having elections (while the US was thinking about maybe not having them anymore). And guess what? There was a weird, hard to read outcome. But the bottom line is, Labour “wins.” Their guy will be PM, and with a strong hand. And maybe more to the point, an exceptionally weak one for the Tories. Having a hard time keeping up with developments in our “special relationship?” Maybe you can stop, now. Meanwhile, we fully intend to have an election here. Though Republicans are embroiled in a fight over just what it will mean. Or, you know, maybe they really aren’t. Or maybe LOL YOLO, nothing means anything but what The Convicted Felon says it means. Project 2025 is an example of something that’s done an amazing job and is being recognized more and more, I notice. And once it’s in place, along with his newfound “presidential immunity,” there won’t be any reason anymore not to do foreign deals like this one while in office. Uh-oh! Somebody in the boardroom thought Twitter was the real world, and now they’re in trouble… with the real world. For your weekend consideration: Biden’s fine! No he isn’t!

It's time to pretend we're already back from the July 4th holiday! Here's how we did it on July 5, 2023: Another day after another National Lee Greenwood Day, and just like last year David Waldman is presenting a yet another KITM under the cloud of more mass shootings and the rain of falling celebratory bullets. Greg Dworkin believes that it’s time to rescue those freedoms that we celebrate. A rogue, corrupt, and dumbass Supreme Court abolishes freedoms and strangles democracy. President Joe Biden could do something about it, and he probably is, but talking about things sometimes gets in the way of doing things. Joe is happy to do either, and is pretty adept at picking the right choice. Biden is on to Plan B for student debt. Bidenomics is turning out great, but not enough people know that. The markets feel it though. One form of affirmative action is no longer available because of SCOTUS, so maybe we should look into the others. Like it or not, Biden vs. Trump II is on. And like usual, Trump is losing. Not like DeSantis is losing, but still. Some Republicans believe a dozen or so impeachments will turn everything around. Donald Trump figures a dozen or so sets of gallows might do the trick. The White House might want to fight the forces of disinformation heading into this election, but a federal judge won’t let them. On the good side, Jack Smith is still picking through the classified document crime scene, and no one has stopped the prosecution of January 6 insurrectionist-tourists. Hey look! A Good Guy With A Gun citizen-shot a mass shooter! Except that the Bad Guy With A Gun only a shot a window before his gun jammed. And the GGWAG only then returned and shot the BGWAG… but a win is a win, right?

Well, Greg Dworkin tells us that there aren’t a lot of minds changing about what the debate’s fallout means. There’s nothing yet that tells us definitively that the electorate is moving. But that’s actually something that still had to happen in order to win, so no movement isn’t very helpful. Neither are we seeing any changes in the campaign’s strategy to counteract the debate’s effects. And elected Dems are starting to go on the record about it now. Also not great! Naturally, you can’t look to the press to help. Even if it was their job. No, this job — and it’s a big one — belongs to that most curious mix of people, “the Democratic coalition.” And it’s unclear how efficiently its members can work together under pressure and short deadlines. Meanwhile, on the good news/bad news front: Rudy got disbarred! And Trump got his criminal sentencing delayed, parlaying his SCOTUS win into… well, who knows what? For July 4th: Hey, ever wonder why The Founders seemed like such a unique generation of super shiny leaders?

You know that they say it is darkest before the dawn... We must be pretty close to dawn. David Waldman and Joan McCarter help light our way. In a surprise ruling, the Hand of the King decreed that the King’s power is immutable, as long as the crown is upon his head and his head is upon his shoulders. His rule and God’s can not and will not be distinguishable. After all, it’s how the Founding Fathers would have wanted it. Pre-wrong pre-heretics Justice Elena Kagan and Justice Sonia Sotomayor should be picking out the wood for their pyres right about now. Mike Littlefinger Johnson sees no better reason for Joe Biden’s ouster than whatever today’s reason is. Whatever anyone has on Donald Trump, he did it, or her, or them out of his deep love of his country… Well, as long as Trump won’t be convicted by anything, we all can talk about all of it, unless it becomes illegal to mention, of course. President Joe isn’t getting out of this race if the Heritage Foundation has anything to say about it. The final person to ever go to jail for complicity to Trump crimes, Steven KG Bannon, can rest easy in his prison bunk knowing that Marjorie Taylor Greene’s BBBBBB has his back.

Once more unto the breach, dear friends, once more. David Waldman and Greg Dworkin beseech us —  Into July, KITM’s afoot! You are probably aware that Donald Trump and Joe Biden got into a televised snit last week. It seemed mostly about golf, and yet our President aptly demonstrated that he was fully capable of not only meeting but exceeding the expectations and predictions of every (Republican) pundit. Democrats, however... were surprised. One thing’s for certain, whoever was responsible for Joe acting the way he did should be immediately fired! Well, not all of Biden’s staff should be fired; he still needs a few extra for the next two debates. The Philidelphia Inquirer wrote down everything Mr. Biden might have said during the last debate. A few of the things we didn’t know then (9:00 AM ET) that we do know now are the latest SCOTUS rulings. Well, as with Joe, we always had a good idea of where they were heading. Trump’s immunity now seems to be a matter of royal intent. New Jersey has seen enough, and has taken Trump’s golf club liquor licenses. Steven KG Bannon heads to prison to receive his coveted Trump Team Felon tattoo.  Oh, and France might go under Nazi occupation again.

KITM listeners are the luckiest people on earth. Where else could you tune in to a political newscast of any stripe that isn’t talking about the debate this morning? Bless David Waldman. For the sake of argument, let’s say that Donald Trump still finds he has a hard time being reelected president. Across the nation, Republicans have learned the error of their ways, and are now planning to rig the vote better for their candidates and block the vote better against their opponents. Mikhail Gorbachev was able to destroy the USSR in only 6 years. Can Trump beat his time? Vladimir Putin  believed in a Trump Yalta ahead of 2016, and he’s doubling his bets this year. Vlad and Donald should be able to divvy up the US much easier than Germany... After all, most of the hard work has already been completed. Centrists from Biden to Macron are having difficulty finding anyone remaining in the center to work with. On January 6, Tommy Tatum strived to remove officers’ helmets with their heads still inside, and has been on vigil for his imprisoned confederates in Washington ever since. Finally, Tommy can wait inside with the others.

The late-breaking flood of SCOTUS decisions (and especially, a new-to-us kind of sort-of non-decision) captivated Greg Dworkin this morning. Though it really started yesterday, with one case they meant to release, but which got what we’ll call varying treatment in the media, and one case they didn’t mean to release, but did anyway. That led us to something new for the day: the Supreme Escape Hatch known as the “DIG.” Thankfully, someone had already done some digging. Specifically into just what a DIG is. Those cases that were actually decided and released today generated some heavy social media traffic of their own. Oh, right. There’s also the earliest presidential “debate” in history, coming up tonight. Maybe. If you can call it that. And we haven’t even had the conventions yet. Not that anyone will notice. About that suit “filed” by the Missouri Attorney General, saying The Convicted Felon’s NY trial was itself “election interference?” Did anybody check the paperwork? Then again, who cares about paperwork if you can just rewrite history? House Gop leadership looks to un-contempt Steve (K.G.) Bannon, now that they think they’re Congress. Speaking of history, here’s a guy with some: Felix Sater is back! By which we mean back… in trouble!

David Waldman welcomed Greg Dworkin for the first time this week, and they sure had a lot to talk about this morning. Mostly the discussion centered around yesterday’s primaries, primarily Jamaal Bowman taking away a loss after he stepped away from the herd once too often. Let that be a lesson to you uppity minorities. Not that iconoclasts fare better in the other party. All three female Gop state senators who filibustered an abortion ban in South Carolina lost their primaries.  Lauren Boebert however reached down to where the Republicans run thick and held on with both hands to reach a happy ending. Donald Trump’s hands, apparently smaller than Bobo’s, had a few of his favorites slip through, including Pastor Mark Burns, who lost his primary even after promising to execute Lindsey Graham. Mark owes about a million dollars for his campaign. May God provide, because Burns has a better chance getting a check from Him than Donald Trump. Nancy Mace racked up $17 thousand in fines, but will pay about a tenth, which is how conservative economics and justice usually go. That is, until lately. Fortune 100 CEOs don’t want to see Donald in their clubhouse anymore. Jack Smith might move the scene of the crime from Mar-a-Lago over to Bedminster where Aileen Cannon is not available to sludge up the works. The Supreme Court hasn’t laid down anything earthshattering yet, but give them time, the debate isn’t until tomorrow. Oh, that debate. The pain of those two hours is only matched by the anticipation of them. What drugs does Ronny Jackson prescribe for the audience? We all know what to expect from Trump (SNIFFF!), but some MAGA-Qs wonder which Joe Biden will arrive… uhm, literally.

It’s Tuesday, so David Waldman and Joan McCarter are at it again, here to say a thing or two about this and that, and always in a timely and relevant fashion. Donald Trump will commence his fifth week as a convicted felon at this Thursday’s debate. He will probably take that as his cue to plead the fifth on his debate questions, especially if they are unfair and rigged, such as questions about the past, what he believes, or facts. Judges have been conspiring to take away Donald’s right to free lying speech, and his handlers want to take away his stupid vileness. What would even remain after that? A discussion of policy? There would be nothing left for Trump to do besides that constant debate sniffling and eye dilation of his. Of course, if the Trump Supreme Court announced that Trump has absolute immunity on Thursday morning, that could liven up the debate a bit. We’ll need to look out for what flags Martha-Ann is flying for the next couple of days. Six insurrectionist electors slipped from the grasp of justice in Nevada due to a technicality, which is how law works and such. The Select Subcommittee to move the Overton Window on Weaponization of the Federal Government kicked off this week. The problem is, Gops are fighting about where to move it to. Today’s primaries are set to separate the screwballs from the wackadoodles. In Congress, Mike Johnson’s prayers that Democrats will save him might go unheeded this time.

Monday, and Greg Dworkin is on assignment, or perhaps an extended house call, but we did find his Raft O’ Stories™ beached just around the bend.  Don’t worry, David Waldman can take it from here. Remember when a guy could just shoot his wife when she got out of line and no one ever gave him any guff about it? 8 out of 9 Supreme Court justices don’t… or at least they picture that men 250 years ago or so would take the offender aside and say “O gentle son, upon the heat and flame of thy distemper sprinkle cool patience”, or whatever they said to let him keep the gun, as that was always society’s priority, keeping guns. Naomi Wolf discovered that Victorians weren’t that into executing people for consenting sex. The Heritage Foundation is paying $1000 a head for the names of federal workers who got on the nerves of a Republican. Those names will go up on the net for MAGA persecution and Trump prosecution pleasure.  By the way, no mention of anything untoward or unfortunate about Donald Trump is allowed in the House. Decorum, you realize, is of utmost importance to conservatives.

David Waldman reminds us that there are only 136 days of Donald Trump being a convicted felon before the election, and less than a week of Donald Trump being a convicted felon before the first debate, but less than a day of Donald Trump being a convicted felon before the weekend! The first debate is the moment we’ve all been… dreading, to be honest. No one wants this, but everyone thinks that they need it. President Joe Biden’s executive actions on immigration removed half of Donald Trump’s yawping points, which might be why Trump is stealing Hillary Clinton’s green card ideas. Or he might be aiming to look like “the levelheaded moderate” to con underinformed undecideds for the minute or so that he needs to make a first and last impression. Duping the rubes remains of course an important factor in Trump’s Vice Presidential picks. How many MAGA does Trump still need to sucker? Does he still need to pretend that he will ever obey the law again?  Louisiana now requires every public school classroom to carry that lucky rabbit’s foot of Protestantism, the Ten Commandments, which are important to own and display, but not to read or understand. Trump would only know the ones he’s been convicted on, anyhow.  Steven KG Bannon begs the Supreme Court to keep him out of jail, but it’s almost summer vacation time. Sam Alito already has gone fishin’. Missouri's attorney general will sue the state of New York for election interference, which clearly they have not done well enough. Good morning, Rosalyn MacGregor!  Democrat Christian Kleinjans won a recall election in ultra-right Ottawa County. He lasted about two weeks before being pushed out of his job as a community nutrition instructor at MSU.

Happy Solstice! KITM is the source for a few minutes worth of hesitant Painthenge discussion! We may already have said this yesterday, but this — about Juneteenth — bears repeating. Greg Dworkin kickstarts a demographics and polling-oriented segment today with views from the other side, actually. But about growing Latino power at the polls, a strength not to be taken for granted. Still, there’s no denying things just don’t look like they can come together for Trump, and they probably know it. Maybe chaos just doesn’t sell beyond the crazy-ass base. So crazy is what you’re gonna get. Even the GOTV “plan” wants to be crazy. And, sometimes Greg takes one for the team, and reads something dumb so you don’t have to. The guy who looks to have ousted Bob Good, is bad. Social media discourse around a discussion of "the legislature's role in finalizing election results" gives us a chance to get into some procedural weeds. How would you define a “role,” exactly? Did your brain just explode? Wait! Come back! Steve Bannon’s going inside! And Peter Navarro’s already there! Plotting God-knows-what! Receiving visits from God-knows-who! And… hanging out with more worldly and experience fraudsters. Lastly, a backgrounder on the increasingly cynical “weaponization of government” discourse.

It’s Wednesday and David Waldman invites us to the Donald Trump is a Convicted Felon Week Four Eve KITM Special. Juneteenth seems to be one of those holidays to celebrate, while also appreciating the journey there.  The baseball world, including Greg Dworkin, reflect upon the influence that the 'Say Hey Kid', Willie Mays, had on their life growing up.  The FAA is investigating counterfeit, questionable, or problematic titanium discovered in Boeing and Airbus jets, nuances hopefully independent from how quickly one finds the landscape is approaching. It’s a close primary in Virginia Congressional District 5, and Gop Bob Good gets it bad as TFFG tries to make him former as well. The Republican political machine strips some gears in New Jersey. Donald Trump will be dodging Ho Chi Minh Horrible Milwaukee during the RNC, preferring Wonderful Chicago, home of the Democratic National Convention. Trump’s criminal past is finally catching up with him, at least in the polls.  Or it could be his vow to reinstate student debt, or triple the price of everything at Walmart, or schemes he’s cooking up with his Supreme Court, or the families of hundreds of thousands U.S. citizens containing undocumented spouses that he’s promising to break up, or our allies around the world begging us not to vote for him. No wonder that Republicans are cropping videos of President Joe Biden into “cheap fakes” to make him look bad. It might have been the blind horse. Otherwise, wat could be the reason Gop Mary A. Morrissey was pouring water into Dem Jim Carroll’s Statehouse bag?

It is Tuesday! Three in a row for convict Donald Trump, one of many for the inculpable David Waldman and Joan McCarter. Donald Trump isn't messing around. If you aren’t with him, you're against him. Even if you are with him, if you weren’t with him, you’re against him. Because, Donald’s a lunatic megalomaniac, and those are just the rules. Republicans are just toys for Trump’s amusement, therefore Gops will eat their own if it keeps them safe from Trump another day... although there are a couple left who hope that God might still be more powerful. They’ll learn. Mike Johnson has learned, and has placed Trump stooges Scott Perry and Ronny Jackson as moles onto the key Intelligence Committee. Florida Gop Anna Paulina Luna must have skimmed some old Daily Kos issues and discovered “inherent contempt”, which Democrats were afraid to try because it might work, and Republicans want to try because it probably won’t. Meanwhile, Elizabeth Warren leads the Democratic charge against the Republican extension of Trump tax cuts. There’s brawling in the Supreme Court too. Justices Sonia Sotomayor and Amy Coney Barrett are getting sick of Clarence Thomas’ originalist textualist malarky… And, can you believe it? The gun lobby and manipulated data seem to figure into many 2nd Amendment decisions!

David Waldman and Greg Dworkin are here to make your Monday… less so. 20 days in and convicted felon Donald Trump is still on the run, from authorities, morality, reality, sanity… Other than for maybe the law, Donald has an insurmountable head start, aided by an equally addled and prevaricating lineup of hypocrites, traitors, and idiots. For example, “Blacks for Trump” —  8,000 jerks somehow packed into 300 morons. Ace KITM Correspondent Rosalyn MacGregor tells us that if people are indeed interested in six decades of advocacy and action committed to the Black community, they should look up Joe Biden. MAGA isn’t interested in that, of course, and you can’t tell them anything. However, Joe’s going to try, with a $50 million blitz, advertising that Trump is “A convicted criminal who’s only out for himself”. Sure, you know that, but you keep saying that once everyone else knows that, Biden is certain to win, so that’s what he is trying. Donald’s always been a mendacious asshole, as biopic "The Apprentice" aptly and artfully reveals, but good luck seeing it with the leftist, woke media stranglehold in the US. Meanwhile, Infowars is hard to kill.  Infowars gone might be nicer than money for Alex Jones’ victims. One way or the other, the Anti-Abortion Movement is late in its term. The titanium on Boeing and Airbus jets is beginning to rust, and people are beginning to suspect that it just might not be titanium. Fake electors will get to actually nominate Donald Trump in Horrible Milwaukee. At least the Wisconsin Supreme Court suspended Jim Troupis.

On today’s KITM, David Waldman celebrates making it to the weekend on his last fraying vocal cord, while I celebrate publishing over 2,000 entries obviously not written by AI since 2015. It’s unanimous. The Supreme Court ruled on FDA v. Alliance For Hippocratic Medicine. 9-0 because it lacked standing, 3-6 that the lawsuit was absurd, dangerous, and should not have made it to SCOTUS level, and 6-3 looking forward to passing it next year. Oops! Clarence Thomas forgot to mention a few more private jet trips his old billionaire buddy Harlan Crow gave him. Don’t worry, Clarence will never reinburse, recuse, or regret anything. The House Gop had its “Take Your Poopy Bawling Baby To Work Day” yesterday, which many in the media call the most pleasant day in DC since early 2021. Some people just hold their petulant ugly brats to a different standard, I guess. And yet, maybe not every Republican is proud of their little felon. Felon Donald Trump shouldn't be allowed to hold a liquor license, but Donald explains that he only owns the various LLCs who own the company who owns the license… Donald Trump has now illegally owned a firearm for about a week longer than Hunter Biden did. Ace KITM Correspondent Rosalyn MacGregor reports that eight congressional candidates were attempting to get on the Michigan primary ballot using fake signatures. KITM Senior Sports Correspondent Darwin Darko reports that male sports analysts somehow know less about women’s sports than they know about men’s. Meanwhile, the MLB, sponsored by online sports betting at stadiums and all media, will suspend players for a 20 buck bet, but finds the need to supply bodyguards to protect players from irate gamblers.

David Waldman and Greg Dworkin hauled in another Raft o’ Stories™ for us, but the big news surfaced while we were on the air. FDA v. Hippocratic Alliance was decided by SCOTUS to lack standing. It was mostly wingnut target practice, so expect more potshots later. Southern Baptists voted to oppose in vitro fertilization, but rejected a tighter ban on women pastors. They better pick up the pace on their traditional fertilizing, if they don’t want to go out like the Shakers. For now, they butter the Gop’s bread, so Republicans will say or do anything to oppose Democratic IVF protections. In their spare time, while not smoking vapes and Dems on the baseball field, Republicans got their lulz in by holding Attorney General Merrick Garland in contempt. Dave Joyce was the only Gop not laughing. God is on Israel’s side, and also on the Gazans’, which is the reason that their war shall go on for all eternity. The only path to peace is to give God a little time off the field. In France, President Emmanuel Macron wants to give citizens one more chance to fix things. Rugged individualist Clarence Thomas’ “son” grew up to be as ruggedly individualistic as the old man, it’s just that he didn’t choose billionaires for his circle of friends. Ace KITM Correspondent Rosalyn MacGregor returns with the news that Michigan state House Speaker Lee Chatfield and his wife finally ran out of expense accounts and charity funds to drain, and are soon to have their room and board supplied to them by the state.

David Waldman and Greg Dworkin haul in the humongous hump day Raft O’ Stories™. Today is the second Wednesday that Donald Trump has been a convicted felon. It’s the first Wednesday for Hunter Biden, which is all exactly how Hunter and Joe rigged it, probably in league somehow with Steven KG Bannon. Another Wednesday means more primary news! Thirstiest member of Congress, Nancy Mace lives to be thirsty again. Sherrod Brown holds the blue in reddening Ohio, where Democrats still lose, but they lose well. Ohio, not taking any chances, purged 150 thousand voters. Overall, President Joe Biden leads in the fundamentals, which is almost as good as leading in the polls. Most Americans won’t vote for anyone who supports banning abortion, IVF, or contraception, unless they are lied to, or lie to themselves prior to voting. Let’s hope that double haters don’t hate both sides equally. If only Joe can communicate the reality of the economy to people not that into reality. Perhaps a draft will snap those voters out of their slumber. Has Sam Alito told you today that you can kiss his ass? Or does Martha-Ann need to embroider that on a flag for you?

Some unexpected international headline news today: Dr. Saulos Chilima, the Vice President of Malawi died in a plane crash. Closer to home, Congress was returning for another routine work week… if you can call the WIPPES Act mere routine! But I’ll tell you what is becoming routine. And that’s Nancy Mace becoming an unmanageable boor. Donald Trump, of course, is already an unmanageable boor, and a bore. So he decided to liven things up with a truly moronic diatribe about… electric boats, maybe? And sharks. And how you would definitely die in an electric boat, because science tells you that boats will sink if you put heavy things on them, like batteries. Speaking of Trump, Merrick Garland has had enough of the nonsense about the Department of Justice, and so he has written down that it should stop. Thank you. As we all know, conservatives have been going hog wild with their judge shopping. Of course, that option is (sort of) available to more liberal legal activists, too. That is, unless conservatives don’t want it to be. Lordy, there are Alito tapes. Both Alitos. These f-in’ guys! Joan McCarter remains on point: someone oughta do something about this! And they might, if they weren’t so busy with the WIPPES Act. But that something would probably be the fruitless pursuit of… the guy who just wrote that Republicans should cut ths $#*t.

David Waldman and Greg Dworkin had little to no health concerns today, and not many pressing commitments at this time, so they decided to throw us a pleasant little KITM: TFFG is forever a convicted felon, yet not quite sentenced. Today’s perfect meeting with a probation officer will help to determine that sentence. So far Donald has art of the dealt himself out of a urine test. Oh the wonders they’ll find in Steven KG Bannon’s cup. It’s the 80th anniversary of D-Day and we are still waging war against Nazis worldwide. Marine Le Pen surprised Emmanuel Macron, so he surprised France by calling for parliamentary elections, which might not be that big of a surprise. In Israel, Benny Gantz resigns, so Bibi Netanyahu only has his right wingnuts left to save him. On the other hand, in Hungary, Viktor Orbán is in retreat, and actual bombs have been proven effective in holding off the Russians in Kharkiv. In the US, our fascists hate hearing President Joe Biden dissing overseas fascism. Trump voters love what Biden has done, if they can say Trump did it, and hate what Trump did, if they can say Biden did it. Donald is just punk that way… Also like Jesus… Jesus Punk Superstar seems to be speaking in tongues more often on his sermons at various mounts.  Samuel Alito is aghast at those who doubt his morality, when it is he alone who has morals. Sure, Clarence Thomas took a few or several million dollars... but it was only because he needed those millions of dollars… but now that you caught him, he will return he will tell you when he takes the next millions of dollars. Happy now? You aren’t? Well then, take it up with the boss, John Roberts. His door is always open. In polling news, at least 50% of Nates are complete morons. Outside of Nate-morons, Joe Biden is looking kind of good in the polls. Latino voters will vote third party, once they find a third party candidate who encapsulates their viewpoint and has the personality that they are looking for. In South Carolina, a January 6 insurrectionist regrets all that and is running for office. In Georgia, a January 6 insurrectionist regrets running for office and is running for his truck.

David Waldman just didn't have the voice left to finish out the week. So today, once again, KITM stands for Kagro in a Time Machine. It's another look back, and another opportunity to convince yourself that yes, you are better today than you were four years ago. Way better! Take a look at how bad it really was: Donald Trump can’t even golf, the news is so beautiful. We’re in the money! Employment has dived to still-depression levels. Trump says he couldn’t have done it if it wasn’t for the guidance of George Floyd’s angel. Trump’s off to Maine, where the plan is to make the streets run red with domination. ACORN rerouted a caravan of voter fraud busses out of Guatemala to Indiana, loading 250 Antifa super-soldiers to each bus for a raid on Chicago, but quick-thinking Fox-watching police made them disappear into thin air. Oh wait! They’ve been sighted heading into Idaho! They’re back in Indiana! 6,000 — One terrorist for each of the population of the town of Notre Dame! Oh no, while we were distracted, a busload camper of 4 terrorists campers that rioted in drove through Forks, WA were caught are suing, hopefully. Pray that we all make it through tonight.  James O’Keefe infiltrated the past and discovered antifa headquarters in the heart of Portlandia. Back in the real world, actual soldiers caravan into Washington DC to crack a few heads. An elderly man in Buffalo triggered blue rage by attempting to return a helmet. Bethesda, MD police are looking for a bicyclist assaulting kids that were posting George Floyd signs. That should be easy, they just need to find a guy that looks just like a cop. Maybe police are a mistake. DC’s Mayor, Muriel Bowser, increases the police budget by $19 million… But sent a big message to the world this morning, and might have a few more things up her sleeve. Authorities always need more money for more domination. The New York Times is about 200 years old and hopes to establish a method of administering its standards soon. In the meantime, occasional fascist propaganda might leak through. The Times shouldn’t challenge its readers with lies, however.

Today, David Waldman and Greg Dworkin observe the 80th anniversary of D-Day, along with Eastern Orthodox Donald Trump Conviction Day, plus their usual gallimaufry of insight and foresight. You got to love those double haters! Joe Biden could hold the White House if only a tiny number of voters swing his way, and as luck would have it, a tiny number may.  Robert F. Kennedy Jr. also has a tiny number of voters who might become useful for someone someday. Everyone is quitting in election offices because the job just doesn’t pay enough for the assassination attempts. The most uniformed MAGA can tell you why mail-in voting is bad. Today, they can tell you why it is wonderful. So, how many of those can tell you what Donald Trump said about Putin and Ukraine in 2016? How many voters remember what he said about Wall Street Journal reporter Evan Gershkovich’s detainment in Russia in 2023? The answer is, Trump said absolutely nothing... until his recent video promising Gershkovich’s release by Putin, contingent upon a Trump re-election. A couple days following that video, WSJ reminds us that Joe Biden is old, as sworn to by Kevin McCarthy. Mike Johnson can vouch that Kevin would be a completely unimpeachable source for journalists. Mike is appointing Ronny Jackson and Scott Perry to the House Intelligence Committee because those were the two names on the list that Donald drooled ketchup on. House Gops are mad that Troy Nehls might have stolen valor, but don’t mind Nehls’ $25 thousand in campaign cash so much. Israel conducted a secret social media campaign using AI to garner US support for the Gaza War.  Again, not the worse thing they’ve done lately. New York Gov. Kathy Hochul is blocking the city’s long-awaited plan to toll drivers entering the busiest parts of Manhattan, which would have forced some Manhattanites into helicoptering their cars downtown.

David Waldman and Greg Dworkin celebrate the first Wednesday since TFFG earned his 34 Fs. Donald is a felony factory.  President Joe Biden finally acknowledged Trump’s rising street cred. Kevin McCarthy, Mike Johnson and the Wall Street Journal predict Joe won’t spit rhymes at the level of Ice Turd during their upcoming rap battle. “What porn star would Joe Biden smash?” is the question many undecided voters need answered before picking their Tony Soprano this November. Tony could provide some insight into MAGA. The Proud Boys are rebuilding their protection racket. They will have competition from the many mom and pop gangster startups across the nation. Clevelanders are split between those afraid of having their Biden signs shot up, and those who say they deserve it. Trump said that Clinton shouldn't run under investigation, now that she’s not running Trump says he doesn’t need investigations anymore. He’ll just throw her into jail with the rest of them. Wisconsin charges The Cheese! Keneth Chesebro was the head cheese of the cheeseheads attempting to overthrow the 2020 election. Leave it to the Canadian, Mike Roman to not crime it right. So all this craziness has got to swing a few votes toward sanity, right? Right! Well, maybe.  The New Jersey primaries yesterday didn’t go great for Trump, with Trump’s candidate not winning, but of course that means the Democratic candidate won’t be running against Trump’s candidate.

Tuesday! Apricate in sagacious David Waldman’s perspicacious eunoia, or something. Look that up in your Corpus of Historical American English. Is Donald Trump in jail yet? Why not? Does this mean there’s still time to get into the financially rewarding career of becoming a Trump witness? Nothing compares to the luxe life of a Trump judge though. Get yourself some of that eleganté Mercatus swag, like bottomless shrimp cocktails, warm towels, free cable… I don’t know, I clearly have not been invited. Whatever they get, it seems to kill a lot of judicial discord, and probably a few citizens as well. Donald Trump has been a broke-ass dotard for about a decade, but prior to that he was an obnoxious petulant dunce.  Donald would be the last person you’d pick to portray a powerful captain of industry, and as it happened he was the last television producer Bill Pruitt would have picked as well. Luckily for Bill, and unlucky for the world, TV producers have editors, and editors can make magic happen, even for dark purposes.

Greg Dworkin has had a raft o’stories offshore for days now, but David Waldman, always a stickler for protocol, wouldn’t allow him to dock until today. Let’s see what we have on deck... Hey, DIDYA HEAR? Donald Trump is a convicted felon! It really couldn’t have happened to a nicer guy… In fact, it only happens to people who are convicted of felonies! That’s how America is supposed to work! Trump’s 34 felony convictions certainly were not rigged, as Trump riggers apparently couldn’t find enough riggees in this particular case. And to think, quite a few experts (and every single Democrat) were worried about how this one would turn out. But now, in case you haven’t heard, DONALD TRUMP IS A FELON. You know who hasn’t heard though? Enough people. Enough people have not heard that Donald Trump is a felon. Some believe that being a convicted felon should carry some restrictions. Owning a gun, serving on a jury, running for elected office... for instance... are just not allowed in many states. Washington State believes in Law and Order, and not letting Donald on the ballot. Last Thursday was the moment that Donald J. Trump finally became precedent, but one that SCOTUS will ignore. Trump has felonies that he has not been convicted of, and cranks out more almost every day. Meanwhile, Sam Alito has other things to be concerned about. Like having official security details harass his Lib neighbors. Israel won’t have Bezalel Smotrich to kick around anymore, especially if they allow peace to break out. The US calls Mexico  “a country rife with gender-based violence and misogyny”, but we aren’t the ones electing Claudia Sheinbaum as President of our country, are we? Face it, we would have stopped on her last name here. 

Well, Trump’s trial jury decided to head into the weekend early, scuttling our chance to hear David Waldman vocally impersonate each member of the 118th Congress over the course of one KITM. Maybe next week. TFFG earned another F last night. In fact, he earned 34 more. The question is, do all of those F’s finally take him to a big fat L? To us in the hoi polloi, it would seem apparent, but let’s stand back and let the experts think this through… Yes, at long last it does seem as if Donald Trump might not be an invincible outlaw, but only a grubby little two-bit crook to the press as well. Of course you are now asking “How does this hurt Joe Biden?” Well, unlike Trump’s, the jury’s still out on that verdict. Piers Morgan and Marco Rubio are definitely going to vote for Trump now, but as Greg Dworkin and Keith Olbermann always remind us, a percent or two change might make a big difference.  Meanwhile Samuel Alito continues to stand for a woman’s right to choose to support the overthrow of democracy. Judge Aileen Cannon seems a little slow… Is it because she’s a little slow, or does it just seem that way? Sadly for RFK Jr.’s VP pick Nicole Shanahan, in rich wack-job conspiratorial fringe circles, there’s only so many dweebs to choose from. The key to peace in the Middle East might be an uprising from the middle.

It's Thursday, and David Waldman returns! Greg Dworkin returns!! and Armando returns!!! They don’t make Thursdays any better than this. In New York, Donald Trump’s first criminal trial jury deliberates. They have requested that a few bits of testimony previously drowned out by TFFG snore-farts to be repeated, with special attention given to the felonious bits. Fox smooths out the nuances by demanding that all US citizens but Trump be frog-marched to awaiting squad cars. If Florida deputy sheriff John Mark Dougan loves Russia so much that he produced 150 misinformation news sites, he should just move there… Oh, he did.  For Arizona for Abortion Access, Abortion is their middle name, and they don’t shy from it. Reno 911 life imitates art, but with less funny. An Iceland volcano erupts dramatically, as usual, but even Icelanders are becoming annoyed. We have the polls! Nostradamus wouldn’t be able predict who is going to win this thing. As for Israel and Palestine, most Americans polled gave an answer to the question. The verdict is in. Justices Sam Alito and Clarence Thomas judge Sam Alito and Clarence Thomas to be not guilty on all present and future charges. Their wives, however, they cannot vouch for.  If Alito’s wife does the flag waving in their relationship, Keith Olbermann wonders what she likes so much about that Phillies flag outside.

David Waldman brings the wit and wisdom to today’s KITM. Greg Dworkin’s appearance adds to that… or maybe he multiplies it. Donald Trump’s family have been showing up at his trial lately, just in case visitation becomes more restricted in the near future. Pundits are divided between those that believe a guilty verdict would help Trump, and those who believe it would hurt Biden. Then there are those who aren’t sure if it will matter enough one way or the other.  Young and nonwhite voters may not find their enthusiasms lifted by Robert De Niro.David Waldman brings the wit and wisdom to today’s KITM. Greg Dworkin’s appearance adds to that… or maybe he multiplies it. Donald Trump’s family have been showing up at his trial lately, just in case visitation becomes more restricted in the near future. Pundits are divided between those that believe a guilty verdict would help Trump, and those who believe it would hurt Biden. Then there are those who aren’t sure if it will matter enough one way or the other.  Young and nonwhite voters may not find their enthusiasms lifted by Robert De Niro. Over in the classified documents case, Trump doesn’t even need a conviction to become the winner. Judge Aileen Cannon will punish those who have the gall to even accuse her Donald. It looks as if Justice Samuel Alito and his wife got the neighbors they deserve.  The Gop candidate for NC governor got his, you’ll have to find your own way to get yours. Establishment Gops are hanging on by their fingernails in Texas. Ohio won’t be able to trade abortion rights for allowing Joe Biden on the ballot. Oh, and we almost forgot about the UK. Over there, they can just throw an election if they want to settle things, which is what Prime Minister Rishi Sunak wanted to do, although he might soon regret it.

David Waldman has had enough grilling and hammocking, back to the microphone! Closing arguments have begun in the People of New York vs. Orange J. Turd, and well,  he might not be as easy to flush as one would think standing outside the stall. Once reelected, fake electors plan to fake elections better. The Washington Post buried the Alito upside-down flag story for three years, because who doesn’t signal international distress when attacked by passive-aggressive lawn signs? Martha-Ann Alito ran a “novelty flag” up the pole to show reporters she wasn’t one to trifle with. Who knows what novelty flag she chose, it would depend on which county fair she bought it at. None of that explains the Alito Pine-Sol® flag at their beach home. In order to understand that, and the fast growing New Apostolic Reformation Christain Nationalist movement, you need not just one, but two comprehensive guides on hand. The Texas GOP platform calls for the Bible in schools, and for Texas dirt to have more of a vote than urban Blacks. Ace KITM Correspondent Rosalyn MacGregor reports on Sarah Leach, a West Michigan newspaper editor who tried to staff a dozen understaffed newsrooms before her employer, Gannett, fired her. Pumping out pink slime isn’t just cheaper, but no employees are more tractable than any employees. Ohio Republicans are having fun keeping Joe Biden off the presidential ballot. Governor Mike DeWine might be an Ohio Gop, but as with COVID, he’s no idiot.

Another installment in our continuing series, “Are You Better Off Now, with an Episode From Four Years Ago?” Things were very different on May 27, 2020. For one thing, it was a Wednesday. Also, there was a global pandemic, and we had the worst possible president. Here’s how Scott Anderson described it, using the primitive tools we had available to us in those times: David Waldman and Greg Dworkin clocked into their home offices early this morning to apply their noses to their respective sanitized KITM grindstones: It turns out that most people want to continue to live, and would like others alive as well. A few, however, are happy to trade you for them. That is, as long as you remain docile when it comes harvest time. 100,000 dead Americans would be just the start. Donald Trump knows what a life is worth, and is shopping for a bargain.   Trump hasn’t handled the coronavirus pandemic adequately at all, ever, thus allowing straightforward tracking of his performance. Trump will continue to do everything awfully, and most expect him to destroy and endanger more. Still somehow, the election outcome remains in doubt. That’s because it’s now Democrats versus authoritarians, and authoritarians just aren’t as enthusiastic about people voting as much as Democrats are. Maga boys hated authority about a minute ago, but rekindled their love early this morning. Public lynching of computers and phones are sure to follow if they continue to refuse to let Donald lie and slander. House Republicans so hate seeing anyone have an easy time voting, they’re filing a lawsuit against proxy voting. In a triumph of technology, ingenuity and human determination, a man made giant, animatronic Kookaburra. Also, SpaceX will be the first private company to send people into space.

David Waldman drops us off at the corner of a long holiday weekend holding a brand new KITM that he has crafted himself, with a little heart drawn on the outside. Donald Trump drew a large crowd at his rally in the Bronx! No, he drew a small crowd! Well, we must prove that the size was the size it was to the other side! Because, once they understand the facts, they will understand… well, nothing really. Democrats love to state all of the facts on hand, as well as explain all of the logic of situations, in the belief that once supplied with facts and logic, Republicans will turn into Democrats... First, they won’t listen. Second, they will keep anyone else from listening. Third, The Democratic love of facts, logic and explaining has been made into a trap that Dems have now been caught in. Trump’s vow to deport 15 million people is cruel, illiberal, openly authoritarian… and the most myopic, impractical, counterproductive, dangerous, and illogical boondoggle in U.S. history... Uh, since “The Wall” of course, which got Trump elected by people who said, “Well something needs to be done”, “At least he’s trying”, and “I hate, fear and resent people who aren’t me, and this will be just like watching COPS”. Justice Samuel Alito was flying a battle flag of the New Apostolic Reformation over his beach house. So, is Sam Alito a true believer? Yes, Sam truly believes that you can kiss his ass. Alito could have been more discrete in rewriting racial gerrymandering standards to help white Republican states, but he specifically chose not to. Why you ask? Did he not mention that you can kiss his ass?

What are David Waldman and Greg Dworkin talking about today? Whatever it is, you will probably be talking about it tomorrow! Donald Trump has had a couple of days filled with backpedaling, baseless attacks, authoritarian fantasies, all with a smattering of Nazi around the edges. It sure is a familiar formula, but if anyone knows how to sell a crap sequel, it is Trump. The story doesn’t need to make sense, just add catchphrases and up the gratuitous violence and you’re set. Oh, and scrap those old leading ladies, and find some new young ones... Say hi to Trump’s Gatekeeper/Printer, Natalie Harp —  How does she do it? Trump jurors have 34 opportunities to prevent this from becoming a rerun. On to the next pie fight! Nikki Haley feels no need to kiss Trump’s ring… yet... but will be working her way up to it. Every flag flying around Samuel Alito is a red one.  The question is, why isn’t anybody stopping? Bob Menendez might soon join Alito in the league of super citizens impervious to prosecution. Any day that Ace KITM Correspondent Rosalyn MacGregor reports of Michigan Gop oustings, is a good day.

David Waldman and Greg Dworkin are up to their usual Wednesday hijinks. Let’s laugh and learn along. Yes, MAGA has been feeling like showing their Nazi side recently. LOL! They’re just trolling the Libs! Then... Lib tears multiply their press. Then, all of this increased exposure moves the Overton window. Then, it’s policy. Before you know it, 5/9ths of the Supreme Court start believing that is how the Founding Fathers would have intended it. You say that Donald Trump’s vow to deport 15 million people is cruel, authoritarian and isn’t possible in any practical sense? Well, that is what you said about Trump’s vow to build The Wall, and that vow got him elected last time, so... Who cares what you say, anyhow? At least filibuster reform is approaching conventional wisdom status. Trump jurors got several days of fresh air as both sides rest following Donald bone-spurring out of testifying. Defense superstar Bob Costello almost had a gavel for lunch on his first day of testimony, then returned to deliver the coup de grâce to his own team. Outside, the crowd roars, and Elise Stefanik files another ethics complaint. Trump said Biden came to Mar-a-Lago to take him out, but should have called first as he was out of town. Marjorie Taylor Greene has confirmed that the FBI has acquired Jewish space lasers.  Trump’s ‘Shadow Secretary of State‘ Ric Grenell met with Arab American leaders who quickly identified him as sub-Kushner. Rudy Colludy Giuliani pleads “not guilty” and “broke” in court. Who would ever know that carrying ammunition would be illegal in some countries? Probably people who don’t want to go to jail for 12 years. People like Rep. Jennifer Wexton make new technology look really smart, but left on its own, boy is it dumb.

Donald Trump broke his vow to testify at his New York Fraud trial today. It hurts to think that he might have been lying all along to everyone. Yesterday the entire courtroom had to be cleared... incredibly, it wasn’t Donald who dealt it, it was defense witness, MAGA loon lawyer Robert Costello. The countdown to the verdict now begins. Like at Trump rallies, Gop third string cheerleaders will probably decide to knock off early to beat the traffic home. Probably not the unified Reich that Trump was hoping for. Meanwhile, President Joe Biden is doing a fine job, but who wants to talk about that? We conclude the story of Courtney Gore, former anti-DEI book-banner who realized that billionaires were targeting Texas public education, and is now facing some cancel-culture, Texas MAGA-style. Joan McCarter pops in, and she and David Waldman celebrate living long enough to see filibuster reform on the ballot. Now if they can only reach the era of Supreme Court accountability. If CEOs can’t be counted on to make impulsive, ill-considered, short-sided, self-serving decisions on the fly, what good are they?

David Waldman is surprised as you are that it’s already Monday. Greg Dworkin remains on “Assignment”… or “Sabbatical”... or maybe “Hiatus” (The names of his fishing boats) in search of the perfect Raft O’Stories™ to haul in on this Wednesday. Meanwhile, Greg tells us of Israel's internal infighting, which doesn’t quite have the bodycount of their external fighting, but it is still quite messy. Joe Biden gave the commencement speech at Morehouse College, which emphasized the values of faith and democracy. Of course, some people hate those things. Some prefer faith versus democracy. Iran’s President’s helicopter technically failed to maintain a safe distance from surrounding terrain on Sunday, also subsequently did Iran’s President, Ebrahim Raisi. The trial of the most stupid-dangerous dotard in history continues, much to the surprise of Fox News viewers. A Gop Texas school board member heard all about schools indoctrinating kids. Imagine her surprise at finding out it was all false, and how she now had to start watching her back. Samuel Alito is but a simple country Supreme Court justice, who doesn’t understand your big city “flags” or “stock transactions”. Stocks, flags, emails… that’s the little lady’s business. NYU legal ethicist Stephen Gillers’ not-so-taut tautology explains that Sam Alito could never because Sam Alito would never.  Rudy Colludy Giuliani got exactly what he had been asking for on his birthday, although Rudy had hoped that the whole jumping out of the cake bit would have been a little less gauche. NYC Mayor Eric Adams won’t take the city’s AI chatbot down until everybody gets the joke.

Why not start a Friday with weird sports news? But not just any weird sports news. Political sports news! A guy who is a genuine NFL player, albeit a kicker, has said some things. They were meant to be pretty conservative, especially with regard to gender roles, and he thought his views would be at home at a Catholic college. But nuns actually work for a living. We may never know who’s right about this dust-up as between the cops and a top pro golfer. But then again, not every story has a right side, you know? What’re you gonna do? Justice Alito would, for some reason, like you to think he has nothing whatsoever to do with flying the flag outside of his home. Oh, also, flying it upside-down. Anyway, his wife totally did it, he says. And because journalists love to tell you why things matter, here are some other reasons why that matters. Have you ever wondered what you would see if you could beam into a Trumpified future? Well, how about seeing the present in Israel and the West Bank? Granted, it could take you a long time to take it all in. But what if you could get the critical points in just a few minutes? Why, then you’d really have a distressing lens through which to view the crumbling of Western-style democracy! Not sure if that’s actually what you’re viewing? Well, what if American proto-fascists just started pardoning pro-fascist murderers? House Republicans are so eager to come to the NYC courthouse and kiss the ring that they’re leaving their “majority” unguarded. But they managed to cobble one together in time for a futile gesture toward Israel. Meanwhile, their Very Strong Leader is already looking to get out of the debates he bragged about agreeing to yesterday. Do you know about New Caledonia? You do now. On the good news side of the ledger: Hooray for the CFPB and active governance! And for scales falling from eyes!

David Waldman and Greg Dworkin make it to the end of (Greg's) week! Unless you’re Greg, or need to get to Barron’s graduation, you still need to show up tomorrow. Michael Cohen, former fixer for Donald Trump, is fixing him good for his third day of testimony, his second under cross examination by crying little shit Todd Blanche. We are close to the finish line now, so close that Judge Merchan might resist the temptation to jail Trump for his contemptuous gang of surrogates outside the courthouse. If you thought that it was awful when Mike Johnson and his crew took wrecking balls to our justice system Tuesday, just see what they can do in the hands of Lauren Bobert! Nobody can gag Lauren! The dozen of Americans hesitant to make their decision between the two 2024 presidential candidates before they got to know them better, can rest easy as two debates have been scheduled.  Pollsters crunch those numbers behind their increasing incompetency polling non-whites. Election news: Jan. 6 felony rioter Derrick Evans lost his Gop primary.  Bethany “Grandma Killer” Mandel lost in her campaign for school board in Maryland, for which she ran as a Democrat. Gop Courtney Gore won her school board slot, then repented after she had discovered that she campaigned on lies. Mitt Romney takes the lead in the parade of Republicans demanding that Biden pardon Trump in 2025. Rudy Giuliani is probably still alive, which would be a major hitch in his plan to escape massive fines and jail time. 21 men have been trapped for weeks on the container ship that crashed into Baltimore’s Francis Scott Key Bridge with virtually no access to porn. Happily, the crew has been supplied with SIM cards and temporary phones for the duration. The US military has secured its floating pier to Gaza, finally allowing Gazans access to food and supplies and Israeli settlers to push more Palestinians into the sea. Does Trump hope to be our Orbán, Berlusconi or Netanyahu? One thing is certain: Chaya Raichik is our American Itamar Ben-Gvir.

On today’s KITM, David Waldman and Greg Dworkin announce that we are right. In fact, it turns out that we were correct all along! The People of the State of New York v. Orange J. Turd takes their Wednesday break today. Yesterday, Trump’s backup singers arrived well rehearsed to all sing the same tune outside the courthouse. Imagine their embarrassment when Tommy Tuberville wanted to join in. Tag team porn watcher Mike Johnson missed his chance to get Stormy’s autograph, but as second in line to the presidency, felt a responsibility to crap on democracy and the U.S. system of justice. Inside the courthouse, Trump defense attorney Todd Blanche apparently thought that his job was to start a bar fight so Donald could slip out the back. All Todd did was remind everyone of the precise reason they were all there.  Even Ed Koch showed up to give Trump a kick in the pants. Other former New York Mayor Rudy Colludy Giuliani probably wishes that he could be sitting right next to Mr. Koch at this very moment. So, Donald Trump is a little ahead in some of the polls. So what!  Why believe those polls, when you can imagine them being better? Why believe polls that you don’t like when there are so many nice polls to look at? For instance, 1 in 5 Republicans voted against Trump in Nebraska and Maryland, instead voting for Nikki Haley, who isn’t even running for anything! Well in November they have to vote for somebody, don’t they? Well maybe not… but it could be for Joe, right? Look at the polls for the Democratic primary in Maryland. David Trone was ahead the entire time, until he wasn’t. That has to tell you something, doesn’t it? Dahlia Lithwick continues to describe how the Supreme Court decides upon laws, then looks for reasons that they are correct in their decision.

David Waldman takes The KITM House off of double-secret probation to allow  Joan McCarter to visit a while. Good news for Donald Trump! That IRS audit has finally been completed, and Trump will be able to share his tax returns from now on. Michael Cohen (the one who is not the other one) returned to the “Von ShitzinPantz”, or if you prefer, the “Orange Turd” trial. Today was Mike Johnson’s turn to be Trump’s contempt ventriloquist puppet. Mike is an example of those kind of puppets that work by going up their opperator’s backside. Johnson is doing this to impress MAGA. He’s not, but that’s OK, because it’s Democrats who are keeping him in his job. Marjorie Taylor Greene is still determined to pull Mike off the cliff with her. The Israel-Palestine conflict is a tale of horrible villains and horrific victims, told over and over and over again. It’s also a tale of the sole democracy in the Middle East... a story wearing a bit thin. FreedomWorks had become unworkable, and is now inoperative. Oh-oh! Vice President Kamala Harris was caught cussing! That’s not Vice Presidential behavior, now is it? Originalism is how Right-wing activist judges rewrite the law. Ace KITM Correspondent Rosalyn MacGregor reports that Ottawa county keeps ousting Ottawa Impact screwballs.

David Waldman makes a surprise return to KITM! It was mostly a surprise to him, but there he was, sitting in front of the microphone, so he figured, why not? By popular (David’s Mom) request, Ace KITM Correspondent Rosalyn MacGregor reports on Abdullah Hammoud, the Mayor of Dearborn, Michigan deciding whether to support Joe Biden, and if a lack in his support will bring peace to Gaza, or Donald Trump to office. Meanwhile, over in Rosalyn’s neck of the woods, voters in  Ottowa County recalled a GOP county commissioner who voted to repeal their DEI department. Joe Biden is out there trying. Joe announced that the U.S. will not supply Israel with weapons to attack Rafah, which isn’t everything, but it’s something. The problem with satisfying issues voters is when they wonder what you’ve done for them lately. With ideological voters, they will always/never be happy. Donald Trump prefers purely transactional donors who give him billions, and he can stiff later. The Senate passed a reauthorization of the Federal Aviation Administration once they gave Senators direct flights out of DCA. Orange Turd, Von ShitzinPants, whatever his name is today, he’s back in court. He sure can golf though, huh? “Stockholm Syndrome” is how police describe cooperating with someone who isn’t a cop, because you’d have to be insane to not cooperate with the cops.

It’s Thursday, the day David Waldman interrupts Greg Dworkin's laundry day to get the latest in news and analysis! (Greg still works a couple of loads through.) So, RFK Jr had a brainworm, but why did the worm have to be such a hog? How could such a thing happen? Maybe Bob just said it to win a divorce settlement, in which case he certainly must have brainworms. Stormy Daniels testified for the second day of the last criminal trial Donald Trump will ever have. The court was packed, as Stormy is an actual celebrity. Daniels’ of course was aware that her reputation could only be harmed by being associated with the likes of Trump, and yet one slip in judgement years ago painted her forever as a person with low standards. Daniels, who is used to improvisation in her regular work, also took some heat for going off-script in court. The fact remains that her absence changed history in 2016, and her presence might change it again. Donald Trump’s lifelong quest to stay out of jail will end one way or the other, sooner or later, but people associated with him are on a faster track. In Georgia, prosecutors have messages showing Trump’s team is behind election interference efforts… and in Michigan, former Adams Township clerk Stephanie Scott is facing criminal charges for mishandling voter data, while she’s running for Hillsdale County clerk  … and in Colorado, the indicted County Clerk’s Deputy will testify against her boss… and in 2024, few Republicans seem even a bit smarter. Marjorie Taylor Greene loses again, but if she didn’t, who would pay attention to her? Journalists find their job of maintaining false equivalencies tougher with each passing day. President Joe Biden will not supply Israel with weapons to attack Rafah. Ronald Reagan wouldn’t either. John Fetterman would. Bibi is the worst.

David Waldman and Greg Dworkin fight ignorance and injustice on today’s KITM. Well, most of the KITMs, actually, but today is a good example. Stormy Daniels took the stand in Orange Turd v. Von ShitzinPantz yesterday. Stormy, known to have a way with words, recounted the details and drama of her short time with Donald Trump leading up to his committing 30+ criminal offences. People like Samson, Ron Jeremy and Trump have a way with the ladies that evangelicals just can’t help but admire. Is Marjorie Taylor Greene man enough to take on Mike Johnson? Mike and Marge’s little catfight makes Donald Trump seem like a fair-minded mediator. Kristi Noem can’t distract Newsmax or Fox Business with neither her masculinity nor femininity. Trump is having a hard time measuring up to Nikki Haley in Indiana, as some voters begin measuring by character. Money isn’t enough to make up for some shortcomings. Aileen Cannon still loves Donald, almost as much as she loves Leonard Leo. Trump might not be immune in other’s eyes, but with Aileen he will always be. KAHANISM! That’s the term for right-wing extremist Zionism, and one Reuven Kahane took to heart. Right-wing judges will no longer hire graduates of Columbia as clerks. Did you guess that RFK Jr. has brainworms? Yep, you were right.

David Waldman brings the Tuesday energy today and leaves it all on the KITM court. Donald Trump demands mandatory attendance to his Fertilization Party. NH Gop Jess Edwards wants that party packed with young girls, ripe for the picking. Israel is agreeing to a “cease-fire”, but not a crash-diet on their end, maybe a few cheat days, a fun-size bombing or two just to taper off.  Young voters might not like this, but they don’t like a lot of things. Hillel International used to be a welcoming campus organization for Jews, but paradoxically, with big donors came big debts. Stormy Daniels thankfully didn’t have to confirm everything at today’s Von ShitzinPants trial, but she is on the stand to confirm enough… probably. We are still a long way from the verdict, even if it’s only a few weeks from now. Jack Smith will show that Trump valet Walt Nauta texted photos of some classified documents that his boss stole. That would be damning evidence, if there ever was a trial. Aileen Cannon might not know how to be a judge, but she has reached the Supreme Court level in coyness. Is Henry Cuellar just like George Santos, or Bob Menendez? Donald Trump can tell you, they’re all being picked on because they’re Republicans.

Today, David Waldman reminds us that there’s only 364 shopping days until Eastern Orthodox Easter, while Greg Dworkin oars his Raft O’Stories™  down the Mighty KITM onto the shoals of big Monday. Donald Trump calls for the arrests of people who irk him on a daily basis, but he only hints at their assassinations. If you are one of Trump’s VP contenders, which one do you promote? Krisi Noem has clearly chosen her path to victory, while Tim Scott has much more of a wait and see attitude. Marjorie Taylor Greene needed some cash, so she took out a hit on Mike Johnson. Some want him to stay, or leave, or don’t care. No one should expect Mike to persuade or organize anyone in any way. Lauren Boebert went to George Washington University in an attempt to reach around to students, but was surprised on how darn quickly they get pumped up.  The historic Von Shitzinpants v. New York trial heads into yet another week with yet another guilty verdict. Donald Trump might finally get what he deserves yet. Trump’s lawyers say that of course Trump has always lied to you, but just not this time… promise! Hope Hicks, how does she do it? 183 days until the election and President Joe Biden does not have the lead, except in the only way that counts. Over in the UK, the voter Brexit continues for the Tories. Israel proposes a cease fire with Hamas, plus just a tiny bit of extra bombing in Rafah… might as well use those extra bombs while they have them. The Foundation for Jewish Campus Life, also known as Hillel International, used to be a sleepy little oasis for students who missed aspects of their culture. But nobody hasn’t taken some side anymore.

May the Third be with you! You’re always a little ahead of the curve with David Waldman and KITM! Ace KITM Correspondent Rosalyn MacGregor reports on Jordan Epperson, another local right wing nutjob running for office in Ottawa County, not so controversial for his nutjobness, but for being a prettyboy hire, although he did build his nutjob bona fides over time… Whoops, he’s already out. How does Don Von ShitzinPants do it? If anyone knows Donald Trump’s dirty little and big secrets, it’s Hope Hicks, whose job was to steam Donald’s pants even before he did it on his own. If you think most voters mind the cops busting up protesters, then you don’t know most voters. Republicans know that when it comes to protesters, voters want to MAGA. Somewhere along the incel spectrum lie "Tradwives", ostensibly virgin/whores for their Traddads, but actually in intense competition for each other’s envy and admiration. Makeup, diet, cleaning and decorating tips are traded and copied, along with conspiracy theories, fearmongering, and fundamental religion. Some are attempting to reduce tradwife impact through satire and ridicule, but trads are probably pretty impervious to that.  That’s why they are such a good fit for Donald Trump, but probably an even better fit for RFK Jr. A Girl Scout won a Gold Award for creating a library of banned books, then mention of  her commendation got cancelled.

May day, again! On today’s KITM, David Waldman and Greg Dworkin perform many of the rarely heard verses of “I’m Just a Bill”, along with that old dance hit, the “Motion to Recommit”. If the Gop thinks they can shut up Marjorie Taylor Greene, then they might have something there. Twelve departing lawmakers tell us what Congress is really like… well, maybe not like Matt Gaetz could tell you. The trial of Sleepy Don, TFG, TFFG, TFFFG, Baron Von ShitzinPantz… really, if we had to herald all of Trump’s royal ranks and titles, Trump could be able to delay the trial for days. Meanwhile, Donald Trump humbly asks the American people for another chance to be their dictator, promising to be much more dictatory this time around. Tears in their eyes, America thanks Donald for granting them the lawlessness they’ve always so richly deserved. Unfortunately for Trump, Tradwife influencers are kind of kooks, and that demographic is owned by RFK Jr.  Colleges across the US have been ruminating on when the best time is to call in the cops to crack down and crack heads. U.C.L.A. regrets enrolling those hippies in the first place. What’s wrong with being patriotic and dressing to impress like some of the kids? 

Hooray! David Waldman and Greg Dworkin have heard our May day calls and are steaming our way with a huge Raft O’ Stories™. Today’s protest generation is probably sincere, probably thoughtful, but are they really being politically savvy? If not, then apparently, the Columbia University Department of Political Science is a worthless sham. How can so many young people, on campuses across the nation, not have their focus honed into a single soundbite? It’s terribly confusing to the older people.   Columbia University sent the New York Police in to round up student demonstrators rather than divesting from companies with ties to Israel, because divesture is just too complex of a subject to describe to the youngsters, and apparently, the Columbia Business School is another worthless sham.   Who wants peace and Palestinian rights anyhow? Well, for one example, a lot of Zionists do.   Back to Donald Trump. Donald figures that if he can only score a little jail time, his lawyers will finally quit their nudging him awake so he might get a little rest. Trump dreams of being a dictator, with an endless stable of liars and lunatics at his beck and call. Trump said as much in his talk with TIME magazine, if you call what Trump does as “talking”.   Gops hate Democrats so much that they’re rejecting democracy… or vice versa.   Gop Don Bacon resolved to shake his fist at Dem Ilhan Omar.   Hakeem Jeffries is out there trying to save his old pal Mike Johnson from Mike’s old pal Marjorie Taylor Greene. If we were to only elect a good Kennedy, the House situation could look a little better.

It’s Tuesday, and David Waldman presents the finale of our KITM Holiday MarathonⓊ, with Special Tuesday guest Joan McCarter over in the KITM Book Corner. We continue under the clouds of mass shooting, this time with 8 police shot, 4 dead, and a couple of AR-15s used for their designed intent. Columbia University students are packing into Hind’s (né Hamilton) Hall hungry for knowledge and debate, and posing many questions: Are Zionists anti-Palestinian? Are pro-Palestinians antisemites? Are anti-Zionists anti-Semites or anti-diaspora? Luckily, pedants are always on hand to assist. Yeehaw! Howard Dean is thinking of making a comeback, now that the retail media is a bit less picky on candidate decorum.In the meantime, Donald Trump plans to kill everyone, although half of everyone still believe that he isn’t referring to “them”. Some Republicans are still idiot enough to believe that he is only referring to “you”. Perhaps Joe Biden could use a little of that presidential immunity about now, at least on the Supreme Court. Meanwhile, TFFG has been fined NINE BIG ONES by New York Judge Merchan. That’ll straighten him out. This kind of stuff happens everywhere. Germany allowed ex-soldiers, pretend royalty, astrologers and master chefs to get pretty far in their overthrow plot before deciding to crack down.  Citizens United cleared the way for the biggest political bribery scandal in Ohio history, and it takes a pretty big one in Ohio to cause enough of a stink to get any prosecutions. People connected to it are now dropping like Russian plutocrats.

It’s Monday! David Waldman is back, so is Greg Dworkin, find out why on today’s KITM! Antisemitic agitators storming college campuses clash with bloodthirsty gestapo out to crack some skulls before commencement… or maybe everyone should maybe take a step back, as everyone knows that the only ones who want to play that are the people who want to stay on top. Donald Trump is back in court… or is he? Trump hasn’t yet denied being on trial, but he has definitely tried everything else. Trump will likely soon be held in contempt, and what then? Probably nothing. Trump gave away all the keys to Mar-a-Lago, so he’s back to handing out keys to the White House. The song and dance team of Trump and DeSantis might be reuniting. That old trombone Ron will be playing could be pretty rusty, so who knows if he can still carry the tune. VP wannabe, serial killer Kristi Noem reveals her gravel pit of death, vows to continue her vile rampage until she captures the attention of her unrequited love. Here’s hoping that she has a shot. Mike Johnson knew that he’d pay for defying Trump on Ukraine, but probably expected a primary challenger rather than a firing squad. It’s not exactly the Chicago way, but the Maine way might work against the Nebraskan way. TFFG is Unindicted Coconspirator #1, as swing states start trying fake electors. George Stephanopoulos finally gives up on both-sidesing and tells his audience that voting for Trump will destroy America. America replies, “Ok, but by ‘America’, you don’t mean ‘me’, right?”

On Today’s KITM, David Waldman does what he can to prepare us for whatever it is coming our way.  Donald Trump’s hush money/election interference trial resumed Friday in Manhattan Criminal Court, where. uhm, where… Oh my God, he’s going to get away with it all, isn’t he? Yesterday, the Supreme Court posed the question,  “If Donald Trump can’t commit federal crimes with complete impunity, then who can?” They pondered the conundrum of whether the President is just too big to jail, too tied to American democracy and liberty to reign in. (As would be, of course, those Supreme Court justices, several billionaires, and a few foreign potentates.) After all, it’s how the Founding Fathers would have wanted it, had they planned to ignore the citizenry. It’s how MAGA citizenry wants it today. A right-wing legal group discovered that lawsuits are an efficient and economical way to spread election disinformation. A former Baltimore high school athletic director is accused of framing the principal using Artificial Intelligence. The only solution to this growing problem would naturally be flamethrowing robot dogs.

It’s Thursday, and David Waldman and Greg Dworkin are back to discuss everything important and newsworthy... except flamethrowing robot dogs. That subject remains woefully under-reported here. Kids nowadays! What’s with all of these anti-war protests at campuses? Quit acting like your grandparents and get a job! Oh, and if you want to appear sensible, don’t demonstrate overt support for either the Viet Cong or Hamas. MintPress might smell fresh, but should probably remain only a garnish on your news media diet. Pecker got Trump into his present criminal trial, and Pecker might just convict him, along with 40 other witnesses there to cut Donald down to size. An Arizona grand jury indicted Mark Meadows, Rudy Giuliani and Boris Epshteyn plus many more for 2020 election interference. Donald Trump is “Unindicted Co-conspirator #1” in Arizona, and over in Michigan as well. Arizona Gop Chair Kelli Ward will hopefully get to see the arrest, perp walk and jail time that she had requested. Christina Bobb is the lawyer overseeing the RNC's "election integrity" efforts, and now will have on-the-job training as a defendant. More swing states will soon swing into action on their fake electors as more Gop money is transferred to lawyers. Donald will thank them all someday, just as he thanked Bill Barr for his service.  All of this should worry President Joe Biden. Ask any Nate, and they’ll tell you that Dems are in disarray and Trump’s only problem is having any party to run against in November. Meanwhile, in the Republican House, everything is as solid as their Biden impeachment efforts. Trump only needs is 5 votes, and he can put all of this aggravation behind him. RIP Donald Payne, six-term Congressman from New Jersey. David’s old enough to know his dad!

It’s Wednesday, and David Waldman and Greg Dworkin are back with the news, views, and wishes for a happy Passover, and National Pigs in a Blanket Day for those of us with absolutely zero dietary restrictions. Fake news! Mint Press isn’t the only one passing around stories too good to be true, more will be on the way. Syrian chemical weapons conspiracy theorists are being stoked to parrot Assad regime and Kremlin falsehoods. Protests spread across US campuses, and no one is more happy than the Gops. Mike Johnson leads the charge for photo ops at Columbia. Donald Trump gets teenier and tinier each day, while his problems only get bigger. His lawyers strategy of blurting out whatever has worn thin in just a few days. Now it has become not so nuts to start planning for a conviction. Speaking of nuts, whether Donald Trump castrated Republicans or they neutered themselves doesn’t matter as long as they’ve been fixed. The Senate easily approved aid for Israel, Ukraine, and Taiwan while they were at it, and President Joe Biden signed off on it. If you thought Trump would be perfect with more cynicism and nihilism, meet J.D. Vance. Ace KITM Correspondent Rosalyn MacGregor reports from Michigan that Rebekah Curran figures her Ottawa County Commissioner experience would make her a perfect fit for United States Senator. Now she just needs 11,780 votes plus 3220 or so. The Republicans in the race include Mike Rogers, Justin Amash and Peter Meijer. Yes the Peter Meijer you’ve read about on the handle of your grocery cart. The Democratic candidate Elissa Slotkin remains narrowly in the lead. Soon to join their January 6 brethren and sistren up the river will be members of the Fake Elector Gang.

Happy Passover! David Waldman and Joan McCarter present today’s Holiday Special KITM Ⓚ Senator Tom Cotton wants the National Guard to clamp down on the anti-war hippy movement on college campuses. In 1970, Ohio Governor Jim Rhodes tried out a similar idea in a pretty well-publicized case. Cotton should consider Rhodes’ eventual plight of finishing his maximum two terms as Governor, skipping a term, then having the Ohio Supreme Court declare that he could return for another two terms, then running for Governor following those four terms and 16 years,  SUBSEQUENTLY LOSING. Lesson learned! (And Donald Trump is taking notes.) Stymieing Trump’s ambitions for his second through fifth presidential terms are multiple felony court cases that keep dredging up truth and facts. It’s really hard to foment a respectable mob in such conditions. To battle their annoyingly truth and fact laded prosecution, Trump’s defense is deploying a “blurt out distractions” strategy. President Joe Biden got aid for Ukraine, although he had to cut border security out of the deal to get it… Thanks Trump! Marjorie Taylor Greene is counting her votes to oust Speaker Mike Johnson, and has so far made it to “three”, which pretty much used up her remaining brainpower.  Anyhow, Mike doesn’t have much to do with the House. In Montana, Republican Senate hopeful Tim Sheehy is trying to George Santos his way to election. In Pennsylvania, Dave McCormick figures that the Santos method is also worth a try. Your tax dollars at work: Loss of federal protection in Idaho means that pregnancy emergencies might need to LifeFlight to other states, while migrants flown to Martha’s Vineyard by Ron DeSantis now qualify for special visas!

Mmm — Do you sense a certain “earthiness” in the air today? Why yes, that’s David Waldman and Greg Dworkin with today’s KITM Earth Day Special! I regret the error. In last Friday’s summary I had stated that since the release of the Congressional FART team, all of the good fart jokes had now been written. As you KITM listeners know however, no matter what, Donald Trump always seems to have something cooking. I had discounted that Donald would never breathe easy… until no one can. TFFG earns yet another F.  So much for it being a “hush” trial… I can’t stop! Well, pretty soon we’ll all be talking about how Trump’s old pal Pecker is letting him down with embarrassing leaks. Much better! Yep, that sound you hear is Trump deflating. Donald shakes his tiny fist and demands his followers avenge him. Trump’s MAGA are however turning micro, and his own family has better things to do. Donald Trump’s lack of popularity is somehow making him… less popular. It’s looking like it will be another good week for America and President Joe Biden. The Senate voted to dismiss the House’s stunt impeachment against Homeland Security Secretary Alejandro Mayorkas. Congress... no actually, Mike Johnson... no actually, Donald Trump voted for Ukraine aid… No, actually there is no Gop Congress anymore. While Mike Johnson and Marjorie Taylor Greene were out back measuring to see whose Crucifix was larger, Hakeem Jeffries quietly took control of what civility that was left. The winner of this Congress is Joe Biden. Joe’s getting his mojo back. Hopefully his Joementum will dislodge Trump from his Supreme Court. Today’s January 6 FAFO winner: Scott Miller of Millersville. EU parliamentary elections are upcoming in France, so it’s recieving the majority of Russian disinformation this week.

You think that David Waldman has it easy as host of the KITM Show? The Freedom Caucus released their FART team 20 some hours before our Friday show. All of the good jokes are done! Marjorie Taylor Greene could have finally shown leadership aptitude in FART, had she not been thrown out of the caucus. Moscow Marjorie sure supports Vladimir Putin and yet has not been conscripted into the Russian army… or maybe she has... The Bill Barr sleeper cell reawakes. Am I the only one, or did you also believe that people get in trouble when they ignore subpoenas? Section 702 of FISA expires tonight unless Mike Johnson can change that. Misplaced merkin Rand Paul leads the opposition. It’s another day in the notorious mob dotard Donald Trump’s election interference trial. Of course, Trump is a notorious mob dotard, so finding jurors too ignorant to despise him is tough. Of course, Trump is a notorious mob dotard, so keeping jurors safe from his mob hits will be tough. Of course, Trump is a notorious mob dotard, so keeping the room cold enough to keep TFFG awake will challenge every occupant. If it’s really a problem, Donald can always request a second blanket for his cell. Israel had a chance to cut that out, but chose differently. If FEMA needs to keep fishing you out of your Florida neighborhood, they want you to pay higher insurance rates. Ace KITM Correspondent Rosalyn MacGregor has been corresponding, but we need to catch up on the publishing. Recently, Michigan Democrats won special elections to regain full control of state government, while Michigan Gops can’t even control themselves. Recently, one of Michigan’s anti-LGBTQ+ hate groups, Church Militant shut down, though it might be strategically retreating to friendly territory. Recently, that is, in the last few hundred years, the Methodist church has been schismatic, and particularly schismatized in today’s increasingly diverse, equitable and inclusive environment.

David Waldman and Greg Dworkin are back and awake as ever for the Thursday KITM! Mike Johnson has been attempting to find the balance between allowing Ukraine to die at the hands of the Russians, or pretending to help only to arrive too late. Counting votes for Mike is made tougher by the everchanging vote to ruble exchange rate in the Gop House. C-Span could open a 24/7 kompromat video feed. Over at the Senate, it didn’t take long to flush the House’s impeachment stunt. Republicans weren’t really trying, as impeachment was never really their goal. Arizona Republicans are happy to stick it to Democrats on abortion for as long as they have their jobs.  A disgruntled employee attempted to destroy his company on the way out, and almost did too, as NPR had already inflicted plenty on itself already. The Trump campaign is in deeper trouble than you think. Joe Biden is way ahead in several demographics. The DCCC has double the money as the NRCC. Donald Trump may not even win the election. If he does, this time he wants a bigger cut. We’re back down to 5 jurors on Trump’s election interference/peener trouble trial, once more jurors realized how dangerous mob trials can get. It isn’t as if Donald didn’t warn them.

David Waldman and Greg Dworkin are back for the Thursday KITM. Listen to today’s show and you’ll never doze off! Nighty night, Donald! Sure, food isn’t allowed in the courtroom, but there should be an exception made for a bowl of spaghetti or a cream pie under Donald Trump’s face. It’s hard to believe TFFG would have anything to complain about, it sounds like a laugh riot so far. Pity the Both-Sides Media, who have to make Trump more than the nothing he is, and the trial less than a case of felony election interference. After all, they’re still selling tickets to the debates. There are a lot of Big Lies jockeying for attention right now, but Presidential Immunity is one that can be addressed before it gets much bigger. Trump’s original Big Lie is still out there taking a toll. Smartmatic and MAGA Network OAN settled their election defamation case. Prosecutions of fake electors are gaining ground in swing states. The Gop phony baloney impeachment trial continues to move forward, the White House is watching but expects only the best out of MTG’s handling of the case. President Joe Biden is inching ahead in the polls, give or take. Arizona Republicans are standing strong on abortion, wiping out any chances they might have of being elected. If it wasn’t for the Supreme Court, Gops would go extinct. Disgraced Republican ex-councilor, Wilmer Puello-Mota ruined his life so much that he feels safer standing in front of Ukrainian drones.

No one knows more about most things than David Waldman and Joan McCarter. Listen to them for a couple of hours today and see how much smarter you can become. Somnolent sleezewad Donald Trump is today attending the second day of his first criminal trial. Some say that Donald napped better yesterday than the great Lincoln or Washington would have, had they been indicted on multiple felonies. Stormy Daniels’ testimony should wake him tf up. More details make Trump’s $175M bond story more complex but no less hinky.  Mike Johnson made the trip down to Florida, so now he thinks he’s a made man and MTG and Thomas Massie can’t hurt him. Come over to the Dems Mike, you’ll be safe from them there. What good is a functional House Speaker anyhow? Details aren’t awfully necessary when you’re freeing hostage appliances and randomly impeaching people. Disgraced former Republican city councilor Wilmer Puello-Mota joined the Russian army rather than go to prison for child porn and register as a sex offender. Disgraced former Republican Congressman Madison Cawthorne might want to consider visiting the Ukrainian front as well.

Today, David Waldman and Greg Dworkin present the KITM Patriots Day Special… which was a holiday even before it became day one of Donald Trump’s first criminal trial. So far the trial is the trial of the century, despite Trump’s pleading, raging, ranting, and contempt. You know that it’s a big deal, even without Donald telling you so, because it’s so hard to bully or fake out a trial.  Outside the courthouse, Trump’s follower covers his face. TFFG’s argument has been that “Everyone’s a crook so I have to be the biggest one.”, which usually is unpersuasive to judges, juries, and hopefully enough voters. People do tell pollsters whatever they feel like telling them, then vote however they feel like, when they feel like voting. Chris Sununu gave Republican voters permission to vote for Trump no matter what they have ever said. Probably fewer people will vote for Robert F. Kennedy Jr. than who are related to him, but still enough to do damage. Donald Trump’s bond insurer insurer has insured that their money will be staying in the Cayman islands. As of press time, World War Three has not yet kicked off, thanks to the whole world being being cool and all. Now, if everyone stays that way, and slowly backs up, it could turn out just fine… if anyone does something stupid, or worse, it might not. Remember that time Republicans said they did something, but really didn’t?

On Today’s KITM David Waldman coaxed Greg Dworkin almost out to the full hour mark! Unfortunately David wasn’t able to do much better with our live feed, which passed away shortly after. Catch the full two hours on the link!   Let’s return to yesteryear, to the wild west of 1864 Arizona, 15 years before Wyatt Earp got a job with the Pima County Sheriff’s department. We see a lonesome stranger ride into town, though not just any ”stranger”, but probably one of the “strangest” ever:  W. Claude Jones, politician, poet, fabulist, "pursuer of nubile females," including several child brides... and one of the founders of AZ’s near-total ban on abortions.   Today’s Republicans clearly want these laws to happen. AZ Democrats trying to repeal the law were driven away. Trump and Kari Lake are on the record, with their support and also their opposition. Everybody gets what Republicans are trying to pull, except the New York Times, who refuse to tell dishonesty from complexity.   Potemkin Gop outreach centers are now filled with a wholly different array of dildos for 2024.   Donald Trump lost his third bid this week to delay next week’s “paying a porn star hush money to win an election” trial. Oh look! Donald just found exonerating evidence under this box of stolen atomic weapon secrets!   TFFG has no friends, but he sure does have a lot of acquaintances always ready to help him out. Trump Media was saved back in 2022 by Anton Postolnikov, nephew of Aleksandr Yakov Smirnov, and a deep acquaintance of Vladimir Putin. Postolnikov has a little bank on the Caribbean island of Dominica, Paxum Bank, a pornography investment concern… Not to be confused with Axos Bank, who saved Trump tower for Donald with their few hundred million. Axos is run by Gregory Garrabrants, who is heavily acquainted with Don Hankey and well, you know him. All of these guys rub elbows occasionally at various events, and the cash seems to just flake off. Young girls, lots of them, and very young, are also there, for some reason.

On today’s show, David Waldman coaxed Greg Dworkin to pull his Raft O’ Stories several more feet up the Big Kagro River. We might get to 10 tomorrow! Everyone knows that the secret to comedy is... Donald Trump established himself as the 2024 Pro-Choice Candidate and Gops got in line to be lead out of the wilderness... Timing! The Arizona Supreme Court has gone pre-abolition, pre-suffrage, pre-antibiotics, pre-statehood, to illuminate what states rights really can do to human rights, banning abortion for everyone but their daughters, wives, etc. Democrats feel that this might work towards their benefit in the upcoming election. The New York Times warns that just because that happened the last few dozen times, doesn’t guarantee it will happen again. Americans might be ambivalent about abortion, but they do prefer their rights be left right where they left them. Trump’s hush money charges are seen as serious by most voters. It might change a few minds, but you know MAGA. Keeping DJT stock at $9 billion requires mass delusion heretofore unwitnessed. And yet, President Joe Biden is making money and laying down tracks, and is maybe, an inch or so ahead. Maybe MAGA will become distracted by RFK Jr. and the Gerald Ford Foundation. Allen Weisselberg is going back to jail, again for Trump. Don Hankey charged Donald a low, low, LOW craaaazy low fee upfront, but unlike Hankey’s previous customers, the repo men just might be coming for Hankey this time. Right-wing fraudsters are fined $1.25 million for their robocall scam, but who will pay their bill? Trump’s lawyers not only go bad for Trump, but they go stupid too, just cannon fodder for the Big Stall.

Are you better off now than you were four years ago? Find out, with our April 8, 2020 episode! As per tradition, it was the day David Waldman reserves a chair and facemask for Elijah. It was also a Wednesday, the day David reserves for Greg Dworkin, who traditionally visits via Skype.  Dateline Somalia: A nation ravaged by pirates and rampant corruption, a population in anarchy as aid to those in need is commandeered by competing warlords for their own profit. Civilization crumbles into savagery. Back in the US, agents are seizing masks and other coronavirus supplies without a word, selling it to GOP-connected middlemen, intercepting, seizing, and "outbidding" the sales from those middlemen, then selling the gear thus seized BACK to those same middlemen in a victory for the free market. Of course these medical supplies aren’t counterfeit, are they? That would be Un-American. We’ll sue! Barbados knows from pirates. The US introduces them to extortion after Rihanna tried to run the blockade. Hydroxychloroquine could cause cardiac arrests. Hell, COVID-19 could cause cardiac arrests, so who  needs any more? Donald Trump does, because he and his voters need to feel smarter than doctors, and if Trump finds only one tenuous connection to one dubious success, well, that’s better than nothing. Also: money. Donald Trump broke the agencies that were supposed to stop the Covid-19 epidemic and is killing all the watchdogs. The people who knew all along it was a hoax, will soon come to the conclusion that they knew along this was big trouble. (Unless they are already dead.) Will those people still vote for Trump, once they know this is all Donald’s fault? Maybe. Bernie Sanders is correct as usual. The second most important vote of our lifetime has to be taken seriously, right now. Yesterday, the Wisconsin Republican party risked thousands of Democratic lives and even sacrificed a few of their own in what could be a template for November. It will take a while to figure out what just happened. It is no longer infrastructure week, at least for a while, as Nancy Pelosi and Mitch McConnell make Phase 4 happen remotely.

David Waldman welcomes back KITM Convalescent Contributor Greg Dworkin, who had plenty to say but with few breaths to say it. Bibi Netanyahu has been under a lot of pressure lately. President Joe Biden is outraged at the killing of World Central Kitchen aid workers, heartbroken at the death of so many Palestinians, and probably pretty pissed at Bibi. The US government is beginning to think of punishing Israel, although Israeli citizens in fact don’t like Netanyahu a little more than they don't like Israeli soldiers killing Gazans, but are mostly adverse to harsh introspection. Donald Trump would have just brought peace to the region, or more likely would have done nothing but said he did. Israel will tell you that verily, they solely follow The Gospel on who would live or die... now known by its less smite-full name “Lavender”. There or here, what Joe Biden has to do in public might differ from what he does behind the scenes to fix things. Broke-ass dotard Donald Trump has to prove exactly how poor he is to pass his $175M bond, as he, get this, neglected to submit correct PAPERWORK. Trump’s paperwork issues raise questions, as they always should.  Trump did collusion and is also a fascist who is trying to rig the electoral college, so what’s new about that? Not much, which is why although Trump and Biden are pretty much tied at the moment, Joe Biden is in a much stronger position.

David Waldman celebrates the Wednesday of it all, especially the part where Greg Dworkin returns with his big Raft O’ Stories™... Unfortunately Greg was unable to haul It too far along the KITM Canal without becoming a little winded. It’s another post elections-Tuesday Wednesday. Donald Trump and the Republicans are getting everything they've been asking for, more hatred and fear, and fewer people willing to vote for them. Trump keeps claiming that he won Wisconsin, but he lost it just like he will this time. “How did he do it?” Hope Hicks says that she has the answer. Meanwhile, House Republicans are pushing to have Washington DC’s Dulles renamed “Dotard International Airport”. Jack Smith has just about had it with The Judicial Apprentice star Aileen Cannon’s antics. Smith sees Cannon’s “no basis in law or fact” orders to be “fundamentally flawed”... as one would. Did Trump actually appoint Jeffrey Clark to lead the Justice Department? Actual paperwork would prove if Clark was the Acting Attorney General, or a Pretend AG. Enid, Oklahoma is embarrassed no longer after voting out their very Naziesque City Council member. RIP John Sinclair, previously in the stir for breathing air.

Every day does seem like April Fools Day anymore, but you can always rely on David Waldman and Joan McCarter to be your plain dealers. Howdy ho! Broke-ass dotard Donald Trump posted a $175 million bond in his New York State civil trial. It wasn’t Donald’s money, it never is. This time Trump’s sweetheart was car loan tycoon Don Hankey. Mr. Hankey and Trump have a lot in common, so one can only hope that Trump’s loan came in around 800% APR. Why does Trump threaten witnesses, juries, or anyone related to his trials, even against gag orders? Because it works, and he gets away with it, duh! Israel had a really strong famine going in Gaza, when the World Central Kitchen arrived and started disrupting it all. A few missiles taught them a lesson. Sometimes folks just need to learn who’s in charge. Michigan Republican Tim Walberg wants to use Trump’s hurricane solution to turn Gaza into glass. Somehow when Gops say it, it doesn’t trigger the libs so much. Now that President Joe Biden wants to fix the Francis Scott Key Bridge, Republicans don’t really feel it. Better that someone else take care of it, then they can take credit. Absence doesn’t make Gop’s hearts fonder, they still hate each other on vacation. Murdery Traitor Greene continues to make the case for her stint as House Speaker, while Mike Johnson continues to make the case for House Speaker Hakeem Jeffries.

It’s the first of April and David Waldman reminds us to trust no one today on that wild world web. Greg Dworkin would have warned you also, but remains away on holiday assignment. Who put Easter so close to April Fools Day, anyhow?  Republicans demand that President Joe Biden apologize for placing Easter on March 31, The International Transgender Day of Visibility, and for banning religious symbols from Easter Eggs ever since 1976. Stupid-dangerous people have never had the power as they do now, especially that most stupid-dangerous person in history, You Know Who... If you haven’t guessed yet, it’s Donald Trump. Sure, there are a lot of stupid-dangerous people around, but they have chosen TFFG as their king. Donald Trump’s lifelong goal of dying of old age before going to prison seems more on-track than ever. Potential Trump witnesses either get carrots or sticks, all of which are illegal of course, but you don’t see Donald in jail do you? It has been years since Easter, and yet the area around there always remains in the news. Voting out the president there could help a lot.

It’s Friday! Good! David Waldman, and we made it through the week. Georgia Gop Karen Handel purged voter rolls, blocked Democratic candidates from running, and clamped down on voter-ID, and yet Gop Brian Pritchard, election denier, managed to illegally vote 9 times right under her Gop nose. Pennsylvania can discard undated mail-in ballots, even when they arrive before deadline, an argument in such bad-faith that only Ronna McDaniel could say it on Meet the Press and get away with it. South Carolina have to hold their 2024 elections with an unconstitutional gerrymandered map, because no one got around to fixing it. Crystal Clanton used to really hate black people.  Sometimes in all caps. But that was way back when she was a child, and the national field director for Turning Point USA. Then she met Ginni and Clarence Thomas, who try to pass along the benefits life brought to them to those in need, like Crystal. Now Crystal is the Thomas’ nearly adopted daughter in the Thomas’ nearly nepotistic hiring scandal. Jeffrey Clark believes his attorney-client privilege extended to Donald Trump rather than the United States, which might be illegal, but you know that Donald would never have it any other way. Mike Johnson will be send Mayorkas impeachment charges to the Senate on April 10. Of course Marjorie Traitor Greene will be impeachment manager. Senator Ron Wyden called on the Biden Administration to declassify information about Paul Manafort and Russia, to catch everyone up before it all begins again. As President Ryan Gordon, President Gerald Fitzhugh, President Anwar Sadat and over 200 other roles (Including 12 movies not yet out!) Louis Gossett Jr. became a huge part of our culture and memories.

It’s Thursday! Maundy Thursday! Today David Waldman reintroduces the word “turpitude” to our colloquial lexicon, and it’s about time, there’s a lot of it going around. Titan of turpitude Trump received another very tardy gag order. When will judges learn? Trump officials are hired primarily to aid in Donald’s turpitude, and thus knowingly endanger their own careers. Assistant attorney general Jeffrey Clark could face disbarment for supporting Trump’s 2020 coup. A California judge has now recommended disbarring  John Eastman for being the chief architect of one of the January 6 plots, and of course, moral turpitude. Kenneth Chesebro and Jim Troupis turned over more than 1,400 pages of documents detailing their bad-faith arguments and turpitudinous cloud of confusion chaos. Lev Parnas can tell you all about that stuff. Joe Lieberman, who was ok as ALF’s dad, I guess, but got pretty irritating following the 2000 election, is much less irritating today. Turpitude never entered his mind. CPAC's Matt Schlapp dropped $480K to get one sexual battery lawsuit dropped. Now, what will he do about all the rest? Schlapp and Mrs. Schlapp worked to discredit and defame their first accuser, so they seem pretty turpitudinous. You don't hear much about Jeffery Epstein’s island now that the right wing has been implicated. Expect to hear much less about it soon.

It's Wednesday! David Waldman and Greg Dworkin are still hanging in there, although Greg couldn’t croak through more than a half hour without croaking. Ronna McRomney McDaniel is no longer hanging in there at NBC. NBC hoped to find the journalistic balance between liars and non-liars, but somehow came to the same conclusion as Donald Trump. People who don’t have to work with McDaniel are now irate. The post-Ronna RNC is making certain all new hires will be Big Liars from the start. The Democratic machine in New Jersey stripped its gears trying to haul Tammy Murphy through their primary.  Also breaking down are House Republicans, who quit being a functioning majority party, but might soon become a completely dysfunctional minority party. Murdery Traitor Greene says Mike Gallagher can’t quit before she expels him. Has anyone thought of how nice “Speaker Greene” would sound right now? You win some, you lose some. Alabama wins Democrat Marilyn Lands, who ran on IVF insanity. Alabama loses Republican David Cole, who was just arrested on felony voter fraud. The 5th U.S. Circuit Court of Appeals holds the stay, er, stays the hold… Texas still can’t arrest and deport migrants on their own. Ken Paxton’s been living his best life the last 9 years since being charged with securities fraud. He can now continue that life. Is it possible that Donald Trump can destroy every single thing, while also making money from every single thing? Yes.

It’s Tuesday! David Waldman is back, Joan McCarter is not, and like Greg yesterday, Covid, and of course Donald Trump, is to blame. Get well everybody! (Not you, Donald) Broke-ass dotard Donald Trump doesn’t need my well-wishes. That SOB is the luckiest guy in the world. Have you ever had a fine reduced by 2/3rds? That cut was because Trump is not trustable. Have you ever had a fine reduced because you weren’t trusted? Stock related to Truth Social jumped 35% after Trump’s bond was reduced. Have you ever made $3 billion from a multi-million dollar losing company whose stock was named after your previous multi-million dollar losing company? MAGAs will lose their life savings, but after all, that is their intention. Gops are not as lucky as Donald, nor as flagellant as MAGA. Sad! It’s not hard out there for a Ho. Not James and Allyson Ho, the husband and wife, lawyer and judge team trying to take out mifepristone. House Gops hope to teach Merrick Garland a thing or two about Constitutional law. A powerless cargo ship calling for May Day drifted into the columns supporting the Francis Scott Key Bridge in Baltimore. They are finding cars in the river, but sadly are still missing people. Israel is finding few who agree with them; therefore, they have decided to withdraw from asking anyone’s opinion.

It’s Monday! David Waldman is back and sounds recovered from the cold. Greg Dworkin is back and not quite recovered from Covid. Get well Greg! You heard it speculated upon here first: Tammy Tammany Murphy will drop out of her U.S. Senate race. Mike Gallagher couldn’t take MTG MAGA any longer, and takes Gops down to a one point reason for existence. Well, today is the day Don Poorleone’s 50 years of grifting finally comes to an end… Drat! TFFG escapes yet again! Trump’s slime sure makes him one slippery devil. Still, all of this can’t be good news for Trump, right? Hard work and results will soon pay off for Joe Biden, right? Soon? Please? The recent concert shooting in Moscow leaves over 130 dead, some are at fault, some are being blamed. Jared Kushner dreams of all the beautiful (profitable) sunsets along the Gaza Strip, which could be oh so beautiful (profitable) without those Palestinians. Israel is an early investor in the dream. Palestinians will of course be allowed to return, as someone will need to clean pools and fold towels. Paul Manafort is the only one who really knows what he is up to. What’s Stewart Stewie Rah-Rah Rahr been up to lately? Probably no good… maybe a little good, but mostly bad. New documents detail more of the inner workings of that fraternal order, “Society for American Civic Renewal”.

It’s yet another Friday spent on the brink of a (partial) government shutdown, now with extra conservative “outrage!” By the time it was all over, there were threats of another motion to vacate the Speaker’s chair, though the situation was — as usual — mostly their own fault. And with Israeli PM Netanyahu possibly addressing Congress soon, it’s as good a time as any to remind everyone that the Speaker of the House needn’t be a Member. Which makes a good enough segue to noting that the US has taken its first steps toward officially calling for a cease fire in Gaza, via the UN Security Council. In new versions of old news, we’ve gotten a look at a White House valet’s testimony to the Jan. 6 committee. Republicans are hanging their hat (a dunce cap, really) on splitting hairs between this testimony and Cassidy Hutchinson’s. Meanwhile, NY AG Letitia James has registered the fraud judgment against TFG with Westchester County, a move that facilitates the seizure of his assets there, including a golf club and mansion. Andy why not color that news with some baseless speculation about ways Trump can offend the judicial system and shock America’s conscience even further, in scheming to avoid payment? Let’s do it! No week would be complete without reminding ourselves that Every Republican Accusation is a Confession™. This week brings us an example from crucial Waukesha Milwaukee County. Many people are saying that if Merrick Garland were to walk off a cliff, he would do so with great care and precision. Still others are saying that people may be jumping willy-nilly off cliffs to get out of Aileen Cannon’s chambers.

Those of you tuning in to hear David Waldman’s bracket picks might be disappointed today, but it is a good bet that Greg Dworkin will always be in KITM’s final four. There’re big bargains in real estate starting this weekend! Sure, Trump National is right around the corner, but Mar-a-Lago could make a pretty nice World Headquarters for someone if the price was right. Of course, TFFG might have a few mortgages on each, and a few different people might already think they own them, so cash might be better. Too bad Trump’s ego has no resale value. Jonathan Turley really feels sorry for Donald, but Jonathan Turley is an idiot. Donald Trump isn’t the only guy in a money pinch. Trump’s old buddy Rudy Giuliani has so many creditors up in his streams, he won’t need Flomax for a month. Rudy’s old buddy Lev Parnas testified on behalf of Democrats in the Joe Biden impeachment buffoonery, and literally pointed out a few of his old buddies… old comrades more precisely… in the Republican seats. Trump set his mob on foot long ago, so no need to parse his words, words have no meaning for them anymore. One need only to talk to swing voters, and not many of them either. On the other hand, California’s Proposition 1 almost swung to failure this week. 80% of House Republicans want to cut Social Security and shut down the government. Democrats might be willing to support Ukraine aid in the form of a loan, if that will keep government going. David pursues the topic of “stays” just a little bit longer, in order to clear up more of the legal fog, and reveal mess at the center of Texas law SB 4 .

Breaking news: Immediately following Greg Dworkin’s exposé on New Jersey’s county-line ballots, the New Jersey Legislature announced a redesign! Yep, it is one of those Wednesdays after one of those Tuesdays. Did Donald Trump lose? Is Trump losing? Is there some small sign somewhere that he might lose? Let us not assume too much from polling at this time, because, well, when we assume… But! Just a few of those sweet, sweet Haley voters and... Remember when Mike Pence’s affirmation was good as gold? This time no “endorsement” for Donald! Sure, “support”, of course, support, but Mike isn’t going to go overboard here. Michigan state Senator Ed McBroom was torn apart by MAGA for 99% loyalty to Trump and has since returned to 100% Trump says 2024 will be rigged. Will that reduce voter turnout? No. Trump’s mob has already had its rabble roused. A word of encouragement here or there is all they require at this point. At least Sherrod Brown has a whack job to run against. Jared Kushner knows that Gaza would be the world’s vacation destination, if it wasn’t for all those Gazans... Well, as luck would have it, a lot of prime real estate has been opening up recently. Peter Navarro was locked up... kinda. See? It can be done. Now he plots his escape. Paul Manafort sort of went to prison also, but it looks as if he might be a recidivist, if Vlad Putin can pony up the cash. David Waldman helps us understand the confusion in the nation’s courts. You may not be any less confused once you listen, but you’ll understand the confusion much better: Stay! Ah, just a little bit longer... If states can’t be trusted to ban presidential candidates from their ballots, they probably shouldn’t be allowed to unilaterally declare wars upon foreign countries. Meanwhile, Eileen Cannon wants her jury to determine how dangerous classified information is, while remembering that Donald Trump has already determined how classified anything is and… Lawyers use technical terminology to describe Cannon’s judgment, such as “bizarre”, “insane”, “crazy”, “nuts” and “batshit”. Writ of mandamus, already, Jack. Other Trump cases are being described as “extraordinary”, “ill-advised” and “completely wacko”, but you know they can all be summed up with one word... or maybe two.

KITM has proven to be an overwhelming viral success! (For the viruses.) Rhinoviruses and coronaviruses are still no match for our heroes, David Waldman and Greg Dworkin, bringing us the latest news from around the world and greater New Jersey. Andy Kim trounces Tammy Murphy at the Atlantic County Democratic convention, triggering a Jersey City Mayor Steve Fulop flipflop. Was the county-line ballot system fix in? Meanwhile, broke-ass dotard Donald Trump promises a bloodbath if he is not elected. What could TFFG possibly mean by that… other than what he said? With Trump it’s never what he says as much as who he’s talking to, and what they will believe they need to do to please him. Trump hopes to spring his best bath pourers out of prison, and replace them with whomever brings his Diet Coke late…  That’s it! Mike Pence draws the line and will not endorse Trump. Of course, Mike didn’t say he “wouldn’t vote” for Donald, dude’s got a wife and kids after all. Turns out the FBI isn’t the woke bastion that everyone no one thought it was. When it was time to close in on Mar-a-Lago, MAGAs broke ranks. A Gop nominee wants a "firing squad" for liberals, and probably is also planning a bloodbath. It’s not just the violent felons, Trump wants Paul Manafort back on his campaign too. Trump and Manafort go way back, not as far back as Manafort and Putin, but seeing how Putin just squeaked by on winning another term, Vlad is probably in a good mood to put Paul back on the payroll.

Today David Waldman brings us the latest Pi news, which as it turns out, is constant. Greg Dworkin remains on assignment, hopefully putting the final touches on his first-hand chronicle of the COVID-19 pandemic, an unfortunately enduring legacy of TFFG. Lauren Boebert does not enjoy being screwed by fellow Colorado Republican Ken Buck one bit. Bad news for Lauren, five other House Republicans might be following Ken shortly. Republicans attempt to screw each other so often, that most try to limit their private interactions to as few as possible. Donald Trump might not be senile, brain damage from syphilis could cause similar symptoms, for instance. The new Trump RNC plans to lose, then sue. Nazis are bad guys. There seems to be quite a lot of data available to back that up, and yet constant reminders still need to be advanced as new suckers continue to be born every minute. A lot of people knew about Judd Blevins, but whoops, they elected him as city commissioner in Oklahoma. For years, Bibi Netanyahu convinced too many that he was trying to keep Israel from becoming radioactive, turns out he did just the opposite. Netanyahu has lost his way, and has even lost Chuck Schumer. So, what do we do? Ban TikTok, a move to cut off our economy to spite China’s.

Noted vaudevillian/podcaster David Waldman takes your policy questions and song requests today. Hur der hur! Temporarily underemployed shill Robert Hur doesn’t seem to have the mind or memory for details that he had led us to believe. (The terrorist enclave previously known as “Twitter” keeps distracting me with this latest Gop Democratic PR bonanza.) That’s all just a tiny break from the Donald Trump legal news. You might ask, how will TFFG pay for all of this? Well, God has written Donald some big checks lately, mostly with parishioner money, and yet He does have some mysterious sources of capital, too. The RNC will need to cut to the bone if they hope to afford their pending Trump bills. New transcripts show Trump setting Jan 6 insurrectionists on foot and loading his lazy ass into an armored SUV to lead them. Trump lawyers hope he’ll shut his dotard mouth for just one second at his NYC criminal trial. Speaking of long sentences, Seth Meyers sums Donald up in one, while Trump just refers to himself as “Honest Don”. At least Peter Navarro goes to prison this month. The “Society for American Civic Renewal” is what they call the “fraternal organization” behind the Claremont Institute warlord think tank. The Supreme Court botched the legal reasoning and relied heavily on dubious policy arguments, so sue them, why don’t you?

It’s Monday, the day of the week David Waldman invites Greg Dworkin to tell him and us what just happened.  A strong union town in California, Hollywood, honored many of its hired hands last night in a big gala event. Host Jimmy Kimmel won the approval of everyone, with the exception of a washed-up disgruntled former employee. Probably not destined for an acting career was Senator Katie Britt, whose SOTU response was the stuff of legends. Not just her performance, her kitchen set, and her fundie baby voice come off fake, but Britt’s lying and manipulation were jarringly lame as well. Of course, this moves Katie up a few notches in the VP nomination race. As usual, Joe Biden gave another great speech laying out the stark contrasts and dire stakes, and as always, pundits act as if that was his first time. People donating were absolutely listening though. Meanwhile, Donald Trump loves despots, cultivates lawsuits, remains a dotard. Boy, when people learn about all of this, and word gets out to MAGA… well, it won’t make much of a difference at all… but every vote counts, huh?  It does seem that you can talk sense over and over and over and barely get through to people, but you can hope that maybe you are blazing the trail for those youngsters following in your footsteps.

Against all odds, David Waldman made it to airtime at KITM World Headquarters this morning. We were all rooting for him. No worries, Greg Dworkin had the opening monologue down and was waiting in the wings. The state of Joe Biden is strong, and making that clear to America is just one of the president’s goals in tonight’s SOTU. The challenge is making those points to 21st century voters from a 19th century venue when his audience has the memory of goldfish. Republicans are supplying last-minute material to add to Biden’s script. Mike Johnson is defunding the police. Donald Trump is warmongering in Gaza. Plenty of lines to draw between parties to start off election season. What lines need to be drawn to capture voters from Trump? Nikkki Haley has a few Trump-hesitants she might send Biden’s way. Most won’t, but some may, and at least Joe’s asking them. (You got to hope someone on Dem’s payroll speaks Spanish.) Then there’s Dean Phillips golden touch… Every voter counts, but you can also be certain that the voters you don’t want wouldn’t be coming over anyhow. Those people are making America great again by eliminating Black people, Jewish people, LGBTQ people, and female people and will be voting for people like North Carolina’s Mark Robinson and Michele Morrow. Katie Porter lost her primary because of the rich and their money rigging.  Arizona issues subpoenas on their 2020 Trump election probe, and we can thank Covid deniers for that. Meanwhile, Trump’s Supreme Court helps Trump delay as much as they can. Bibi Netanyahu is in trouble for killing more people, again.

It’s… Wednesday. That’s the day David Waldman and Greg Dworkin usually reserve for discussing Tuesdays, and even “super” ones aren’t able to escape their scrutiny. Donald Trump won again. So did Joe Biden, soundly beating Barack Obama. Joe was no match however for Jason Palmer, who came from behind to… stay behind. Trump no longer has Nikkki Haley to kick around anymore... Who are we kidding? Donald Trump has just begun to kick around Nikkki Haley. Hey, but what about Haley’s supporters? Where will they go? Uhm… To Donald Trump, of course. We aren’t kidding anybody about that either. (Anyone who wants to vote for Joe is welcome just the same.) It’s on! The primaries that never were are finally over, and people might finally act like there’s an election happening and become informed. The paper of record, the New York Times, might not be the place to go, as they have tended to omit some important stuff lately. After thoughtful consultation with his China-loving wife, Coco Chow, Mitch McConnel is giving Trump his full support. Biden, nevertheless has Dean Phillips clout, maybe. It’s hard to tell.  Trump-allied election groups burned through millions for Donald during the primaries, but there’s plenty of suckers where they came from. Kyrsten Sinema “retires”. Some despised Sinema, and yet others detested her. Most could agree still that as a Democratic Senator, Kyrsten Sinema was worse than nothing. Kyrsten Sinema thought Kyrsten Sinema was the bee’s knees nonetheless. And, some say that no one could reach across the aisle better than she.  Meanwhile, David gets back into the nuts and bolts of the Supreme Court, and unfortunately finds more nuts than bolts.

It’s supposed to be some big important day today, special at least as Tuesdays go, kind of like the “Superbowl of Tuesdays”... It doesn’t feel too special though. It feels like a day to get out of the way so that we can get serious, pay attention, and move forward. So, let’s. For a unanimous decision, the Supreme Court decision on TFFG ballot disqualification sure did not seem so harmonious. Liberal judges’ concurrence now seems more like forced acquiescence. David Waldman joins control-F sleuths in spotting the dissent literally between the lines. It’s Tuesday, so Republicans are shutting down government, or about to, and Joan McCarter is here to tell us how that’s going. If Gops were half as incompetent they’d be twice as dangerous. Republicans would do anything to protect IVF for instance, but haven’t yet figured out how to vote “yes”, as just voting “no” and taking the credit has worked so well for them in the past.

March fourth! David Waldman leads us into a new, hopefully better, month. Yep, the polls aren’t “great”. Greg Dworkin reminds us that it is still primary season, sort of, and there is good news if you look hard enough, and the felonious dotard still has it worse, and you know more than those people anyhow. You knew that the courts wouldn’t save us from Donald Trump, and the Trump Supreme Court confirmed that, 9-0. Again, if you look at it hard enough, there’s some nuance. Allen Weisselberg pleads guilty to perjury for lying at Trump’s fraud trial, meaning that more people could get in trouble, or maybe fewer will lie for Trump. Not fewer Russians, however. That number will explode this year, even without Mitch McConnell’s help, but there’s millions ready to make America Русский. Vice President Kamala Harris is getting things done in Israel, even if she has to go around Bibi Netanyahu to do it.

David Waldman ends the week, begins the month, concludes business and gets this party started. The Senate passed a spending bill, pushing the shutdown down one week. After all, when Joan McCarter comes to KITM each week, it only makes sense. The Boebert crime family is perhaps outscoring the Palin crime family… the math part would be tough on either set...  but Tyler Boebert might soon have MVP locked up in felony convictions. Tyler’s stealing from a woman saving up for brain tumor surgery might not go over well with the jury. He might get sympathy still as a new father, but not with his co-defendant who he made the sex tape with.   Hunter Biden went into a closed-door résumé-measuring contest yesterday and came out the clear winner, though he’s certainly no Jared Kushner. Donald Trump tried to art-of-the-deal Judge Arthur Engoron from $400 million down to $100 million. Judge Engoron passed on the chance to be the loser-chump punchline for the next several Trump rallies and turned him down. Always a man of subtle nuance, Donald explains that he’s too rich to pay $88 million, yet too poor for anything over a hundred. The founders of Truth Social actually thought they’d be the first ones to enter a relationship with Donald Trump and not be cheated. When Trump isn’t cheating, he is evading or delaying, that’s it. His entire life experience demonstrates that the system was built to accommodate his parasitical nature. TFFG is now appealing/evading/delaying an Illinois judge’s ruling removing him from the primary ballot. Constitutional lawyers are being chilled and having their socks knocked off. Are today’s constitutional scofflaws making it impossible to teach, or should their professors have taught them to better behave back when they were students? Should Joe Biden tell the public what the government knows about Trump's collusion, or should Russian hackers?

Happy Bissextile Day! Wave your Bissextile Day flags! Had David Waldman just ran KITM a little overtime for perhaps fewer than only 9 minutes each day we wouldn’t have had to do today’s show, yet here we are. And a good thing, too, we need a whole new show, with Greg Dworkin and Armando on hand just to describe and dissect the Supreme Court’s worst dick move since... well, it probably is their worst dick move ever. “Hey, what about Donald Trump’s other immunity claim?”, you might ask, and so has the other judge in Trump’s pocket, Aileen Cannon. And, “What about Anwar Nasser Abdulla al-Awlaki?”, David asks, but you know that question will be coming up more often. It appears that broke-ass dotard will remain our problem through the election.  In the meantime, MAGA is setting up to make America more Alabaman. Mitch McConnell is leaving now that he’s certain that he couldn’t make anything worse.

David Waldman and Greg Dworkin’s Wednesday Raft O’ Stories™ must have had some kind of boiler explosion. Bits of news are raining down everywhere: A chemistry teacher in New Mexico passed out swords to students (who no doubt still pronounce the “w” in swords) and had them fight. Probably for the first time in her class, lessons were learned.  Donald Trump coughed up almost $400 thousand to the New York Times. Donald is too just rich/poor, and that cough isn’t getting better. For most anyone, the choice of trolley track between blastocysts and babies is an easy one. Gops worry about running over their paychecks. Of course, they have other concerns, too. Dollar store Sarah Palin, Lauren Boebert has a son who has rolled up 22 criminal charges between teen knock-ups.  Kenneth Chesebro can’t help that people followed the advice of BadgerPundit, which he authored, then emailed to them. A Lubbock Texas judge decided that a 2022 federal spending bill was unconstitutional because of its COVID proxy vote. The Federal Supreme Court does not care. The loonies who commandeered the Michigan Ottawa County government won’t be allowed to throw their county health officer overboard after trying for 13 months. Schrödinger's Gop chair Kristina Karamo is no longer chair of the Michigan Republican Party, and yet still is there. The sham around the Fani Willis persecution is fading, and just in time, as Fani's eyes couldn’t have kept rolling for much longer.  Another climatic, cliff-hanging, nail-biter of a primary is in the history books, and… Marianne Williamson is back, baby! Maybe not. Definitely not for Dean Phillips. Donald Trump is where he always is, underperforming. Joe Biden is where he always is, overperforming. “Uncommitted” overperformed as well, make that what you will, and plenty are already making that what they will, which is more than it really is, actually.

It’s Tuesday and David Waldman has some stuff to lay on us, KITM-wise. Don Jr. received death threats and a suspicious powder in the mail, but who would guess they’d both be in the same envelope? Elon Musk hasn’t killed many, at least as evil billionaires go, but it’s still pretty early. Hyperloop tunnel chemical sludge, for instance, might take years to make a real impact actuarially. Sure, Clarence Thomas’ shameless avarice and evident corruption is  hilarious, but isn’t it also illegal? Of course, the call now goes out for John Oliver’s arrest. Donald Trump owes the court about a half of a billion dollars, but who can put a price on such publicity? And delay? Well… presumably the courts. That is why Trump has hired some to the greatest legal minds to represent him. Minds like Kenneth Chesebro, who stayed above the legal fray, and out of reach of felony election subversion, by donning a novelty mustache and a fake Twitter account in order to provide his most treasonous counsel. Like the first robin of spring, Joan McCarter’s appearance is a harbinger of an imminent government shutdown, or at least of unremitting Republican dysfunction. Today, Joan heralds both, as Gops threaten each other along with the eponymous and titular State of the Union.

Unfortunately, there is plenty for David Waldman and Greg Dworkin to talk about today, Fortunately, we get to hear them say it. Today, if you find you’re still having difficulty deciding on whether your trolley would be best routed over 10,000 frozen zygotes or a baby, you just might be a Republican trying to figure out how to hold onto your job, because of course, no actual normal human would have this quandary. No normal people attend CPAC. Nex Benedict’s death following Libs of TikTok rhetoric was just blood in the water for them. Tennessee now senses this is the time to take out Obergefell. Donald Trump won the South Carolina primary, as the polls continue to show he’s big with his base, but not so much otherwise. Even a few Trump supporters might be stripped away if things get worse for him. Well, that too is how Republicans tend to see Joe Biden, and they have Putin on their side... On the other hand, Dems have Nickki Haley fighting for them… Excitement, thrills, suspense, but most of all chaos comes to primary season for the Republican primary, and convention, in Michigan. The House Select Committee on the Chinese Communist Party wonders which side Elon Musk might be on. Sure, Don Bolduc lied about voter fraud in 2020, and then lied about that, but isn’t that what he is supposed to do? Don’t confuse the baseless GOP impeachment push with the debunked one, although the authors wouldn’t mind. Bill Barr’s assignment led to a Biden impeachment effort based on a lie.

In a flash, David Waldman appears, vanishing again two hours later. Where does David come from? Where does he go? Some say… the living room couch. Nevertheless, with each visit Mr. Waldman will present to us a mysterious, yet valuable gift… let’s open it, shall we? James Comer and Jim Jordan may seem like idiots now, and they are, but they are smart enough to know that Democrats will let them and Russia Russia Russia get away with it yet again, because as they and Putin are well aware, most of us are the kind of idiots who will let them get away with it. Ace KITM Correspondent Rosalyn MacGregor reports that there remains at least one too many MIGops as local officials continue their efforts to exile the rogue Kristina Karamo regime. From the “Truth is Stranger than Russian Disinformation” department: Dean Phillips is still running for president. A consultant for Phillip’s campaign hired a New Orleans magician to impersonate President Joe Biden using AI tech. Dean Phillips has now offered to be Nikki Haley’s Vice-Presidential choice... Believe it or not!

It’s Thursday and David Waldman and Greg Dworkin are back, with not just one, but two topics for today! James Comer and Jim Jordan are having a tough time impeaching Joe Biden, as the President committed no impeachable offenses, convincing anyone that he did would require someone to lie convincingly, and James and Jim remain quite the dunces. Somehow those two seem positively perspicacious compared to TV’s Tucker Carlson and Sean Hannity. Certainly, they are all Putin’s useful idiots, but at what point does stupidity end and sedition begin? Alabama says frozen embryos are people... tenth of a millimeter long people. Why not ban birth control, or recreational sex? No, you will not find a “middle ground”. MAGA wants a Christian Nationalist USA. Gops are legislating a Christian Nationalist USA. And if you don’t think they have a lot of support, then you probably do not attend their church. You can’t expect all of their wives to get abortions before they figure out what matters for others.

Hope you like the nitty-gritty. Today on KITM, David Waldman welcomes Greg Dworkin and Armando to really dig into it: Boom goes Burisma! Joe’s brother James Biden arrived in Washington today to laugh in Gop faces as their most corroborating star witness Alexander Yakov Smirnov was indicted by the DOJ and described by the FBI as a serial liar, and has been revealed to have had extensive contact with Russian, Russian, Russian agents. Republicans assure us that outside of all the evidence that they have no evidence, they have only begun to reveal the vast stores of evidence that they don’t have… Hey did you see those foot-long strips of cocaine under that table saw? Hur dur hur… How did Merrick Garland ever mistake a Trump hitman for a career prosecutor? Expert at law, Donald Trump, continues to hone his expertise, and there might be no end to how much he can learn. It’s not just Trump… and Comer, and Jordan colluding with Russia, plans are afoot to transform the United States so that even Tucker Carlson won’t see the difference.

David Waldman marks the 20th day since, well, since February started, on today’s special KITM. Here we are, counting down the days until another government shutdown. Would Republicans know one was coming if we didn’t keep track? Would anyone notice if they just shut down the Republican half? The Republican National Committee is following in the clown shoes of the Michigan Republican Party, except even Trumpier. In fact, the goal is to make it 100% Trump. We are all victims of Trump’s fraud. It’s kind of nice to see that finally includes Donald Trump. Trump’s grift, on the other hand opens the door for all sorts of new grift. Elena Cardone has all sorts of privilege, which gives her all sorts of entitlement to MAGA rubes cash. Maybe Ukraine should start a GoFundMe. Of course, there is no bigger victim than Donald Trump. Not Ukraine, not Aleksei Navalny. Maybe Clarence Thomas, but don’t worry about Clarence, his new friend John Oliver has his back. Tennessee Representative Tim Burchett took a break from impeaching Hunter Biden to putting a target on a Kansas City Chiefs fan’s back.

There goes the neighborhood! Explosions get ever closer to KITM World Headquarters, yet David Waldman is undeterred, debuting Kagro’s Poetry Korner on KITM. Today’s KPK recounts Solomon Grundy and Baseball's Sad Lexicon, the latter in wistful homage to Wisconsin Democratic Govenor Tony Evers’ decision to sign new legislative maps, ending years of Gop gerrymandering, assisted by the Gop legislature who wanted to avoid Democratic gerrymandering... which is certainly one way to achieve fair elections. Greg Dworkin rows his Raft o’ Stories™ ashore, hallelujah, with the serenity to accept the things that cannot change, the courage to change the things that can, and the wisdom to know the difference. Meanwhile, Republicans have ruptured into five factions, which still isn't enough to hold them all. Michigan leads the way in Gop cautionary tales (that they’ll ignore) and Dem success stories (that they’ll ignore). Michigan just became the first state in 6 decades to scrap an infamous anti-union law, while Christian racist rapper Josh Shriver loses a little but not a lot sticking to his “great replacement” stance. TFFG, Worst President in American History, Sneaker Con, and soon to be the World's First Negative Billionaire, Donald Trump may see his reputation eventually deteriorate to the point that he isn’t elected president again. (Don’t count on it.) Oh yes, it’s also Presidents Day, which commemorates George Washington declaring half-off on his truth-telling.

For the price of a cup of coffee… or just send him coffee, and David Waldman will deliver an endless (2 hours) supply of entertainment and information.  In Putin’s Russia, you don’t assassinate president, president assassinate you! Unfortunately for Alexei Navalny, he never qualified for the 5th floor window express favored by many high-ranking Russian officials and oligarchs. Alexi’s passing steals Tucker Carlson’s opportunity to interview Navalny to make certain that he got both sides of the Russia story. FBI informant Alexander Yakov Smirnov has been charged with yacking falsely and falsifying records in order to frame Hunter Biden and his dad. The DOJ has announced that the Biden bribe allegations were false... and just as the Fox-Comer impeachment investigations were getting hot! This involvement might go further up the right-wing media/government chain than just Smirnov, too. To even mention it by name might give it more power than it deserves, at least until the people responsible for 2000 Mules are sentenced, then I might mention it once more. Matt Gaetz is normally opposed to diversity, equity and inclusion, except when it comes to the young ladies he hires for sex parties, when all is cool, and chill, and there’s plenty of candy to go around. 

It’s Thursday and David Waldman and Greg Dworkin are here asking questions that you didn’t know you had, with answers that you didn’t know you needed. But now you do! We remain under a cloud of mass shootings. The Kansas City Super Bowl Parade shooting took place on the 6th anniversary of the Parkland shooting. And it took place on the 16th anniversary of the Northern Illinois University shooting. And 2 days ago, was the anniversary of the Michigan State shooting. And next Monday will be 12 years since Alabama-Huntsville and 2 years since Portland and 17 since Bethel Alaska and… pretty cloudy. It’s all a nightmare, but at least we have Gop failure to cheer us. MAGA is a schadenfreude conveyor belt overflowing with potentially endless delights whipped up by Chef de Àne Donald Trump and his bumbling assistant Mike Johnson. It’s not all Republicans stepping on rakes and falling into their own Burmese Tiger traps, though. A lot of this is happening because Democrats are beating them. It’s time for President Joe Biden to reveal that there’s a sun behind the clouds.  Apparently, Republicans cribbed their ideas from Eastern Europe. In the meantime, Donald Trump heads from all of his civil courts to the first of his criminal courts this March 25. Pete Hoekstra takes over the Authentic No. 1 Michigan Republican Party, just down the street from Kristina Karamo’s A-1 Original Michigan Republican Party. Republicans probably expect that Russian space nukes might overshadow all of their bad news… and they could be correct. The Mayorkas impeachment has done all of the damage that they could expect to get out of it. Let’s pop a couple for William “Bill” Post, inventor of the Pop Tart and quite possibly a Keebler Elf...

It’s Ash Wednesday and Valentine’s Day! If you thought those holidays would keep David Waldman and Greg Dworkin from the KITM microphone you’d be mistaken.  Anyhow, Soros has body doubles stored for just such an emergency. Well, wasn’t that special? Tom Suozzi flips George Santos' district back to blue. The polls were wrong again, but in the right direction, therefore pollsters may be lauded for their wisdom, and so may Democrats, which is even better. The only things certain for Donald Trump are death and prison. Generations have passed watching Trump’s lawyers struggle to hold it to that order while the clock keeps on ticking. While Jack Smith, like most of us, is in more of a hurry, Aileen Cannon doesn’t mind how long anyone waits, or how many die waiting for justice to arrive. Peter Navarro is heading to prison. And if you find out when, let us know. Kenneth Chesebro’s brilliant ideas will be the reason a lot of people will be looking at jail time.  The details in the Robert Menendez case become more outrageous every day, raising the question of had Bob been slightly less outrageous, would he have been caught, and how many others get away by being just “slightly” outrageous?   Meanwhile, the Senate stands by Ukraine, except for neutered lapdog Lindsey Graham, still yipping away on the Senate floor, and now House Pomeranian Mike Johnson, who has the nasty habit of impeaching on his floor.

David Waldman presents a special Mardi Gras KITM! Find the fève, win a prize!  Jesus Christ! Super Bowl!  Hobby Lobby’s MAGA million mind control! Robert Hur went Comey on Joe Biden last week and the staff over at the NYT haven’t stopped drooling since. Hur is now a MAGA hero, and MAGA is Hur’s cash cow. Facts, conjecture, lies, they’re all cash in Bob’s pocket and blood in the water for “journalists”. Donald Trump is so happy that last week went so well, he’ll hardly notice the $83.3 million bill in his mail this week. Had Mike Pence only played along, Trump lawyers could have made January 6 last for weeks. Dems want to win today’s special elections to keep the Joe-mentum into November. Joan McCarter’s here to talk Gop Congressional disfunction. Sad! But also, not Dem’s fault. The Senate is also in the clear after passing an Israel, Ukraine aid package. It’s now Mike Johnson’s to lose, and lose he shall.

It was a big weekend! There was a big football game (and a cultural history of the league), which Joe Biden somehow won, plus just a hint at the collapse of the post-war global order! And I mean, like, the whole thing. That was a lot for Greg Dworkin to round up, but it wasn’t all about the weekend. There’s a very special special election coming too, for the seat briefly occupied by George Santos. Or whatever his name was. There was, of course, more fallout over the Hur report. Or whatever you’d call that thing. Speaking of Hur, people are grumbling again about how, somehow, only Republicans are allowed to be special counsels. Bending over backwards to be “fair” just doesn’t seem… fair anymore. I mean, what’s an insurrectionist gotta do to get arrested in this town? TFG’s fascist xenophobia continues unabated, further driving his party’s meltdown. Did you know the Gop hasn’t been in this much disarray since the 80s? Things are so crazy, the Congress might even pass a bill!

David Waldman fortifies us for our weekend with an extra dose of vitamin KITM: Yesterday was a good day for Donald Trump, and if it was a good day for anyone else, that would be purely unintentional. TV cameras on SCOTUS would’ve revealed the Justices rolling up their Candy Crush scores as lawyers for whomever said whatever. After consideration and debate they will, of course, rule for state’s rights, or not, whatever. Last year Judge Matthew Kacsmaryk ruled against distribution of the abortion pill based on debunked and retracted science. When it comes to the Supremes it should then be an excellent opportunity for the Justices to beat their Roblox records. Joe Biden was cleared on charges related to his handling of classified documents, breaking the heart of special counsel Robert Hur, who managed to stick a thumb or two into Joe’s eyes on his way out the door to place a couple of downpayments on a few big things. The White House press corps swooped in to get a piece of the President, underestimating Biden, as usual.  Brownshirts wearing red berets assaulted people on live TV, Fox approved. Gops will do anything that TFFG says because they fear retribution, not understanding that Donald inflicts pain because it’s fun. MAGA gets it. The caravan convoy (Convoy = White, heading south. Caravan = Brown, heading north) at the border are heavily armed and drugged and are down for just that kind of fun. A Florida man found out that his father was vaccinated and he bludgeoned him to death. Last week, a guy found out that his father was a federal employee and decapitated him. Pretty soon that particular demographic will be microtargeted with their own political ads, featuring voiceovers supplied by the voice of the parent they most recently killed. Robocalls with artificially created fake Joe Bidens will be looked back on with nostalgia in the distant future... maybe 6 months from now.

It’s all falling apart for Republicans. They might even be in disarray! But since their voters don’t appear to want anything done, we’re not sure yet whether they’ll get away with it. They may fare worse among Republican Senators than they do with the voters. Those guys just seem to want chaos, and always have, just like Greg Dworkin says. To no one’s surprise, the bluff was called and the “border bill” tanked. There’s just not much about the immigration situation that stands up to scrutiny, even among the true believers. And the situation is much the same with their other stunt, the “impeachment” of Alejandro Mayorkas. Not that that’s likely to stop them. Remember that Nevada primary? Well, it may never have been much of a contest, but it was no sleeper of an event! Meanwhile, the SCOTUS took up the 14th Amendment disqualification issue today, right smack in the middle of the show. Though they very courteously waited until the last segment to get to the good stuff. Once they did get rolling, though, we were introduced to TFG’s most odious lawyer yet. Elsewhere in the country, it seems New Hampshire’s primary notched the first AI-faked robocalls of the season. New Yorkers found out you can shoot beat up a guy in the middle of 5th Avenue 42nd Street and not lose any votes even get a ticket. And everybody else found out that where Chaya Raichik goes, bomb threats follow.

David Waldman and Greg Dworkin haul in Wednesday’s raft o’stories almost overladen with wacky. First, the thing driving Republicans crazy this morning and for the foreseeable future, besides Taylor Swift, is that gnawing realization that they might not be the smartest people... or even the “smart” people in the room. On Donald Trump’s orders, Gops shot themselves in the foot on immigration, making their one strength their biggest weakness. Their Mayorkas impeachment vote was hilarious. MAGA Mike and Marge want a do-over where they can count out loud and not get messed up in the big numbers. It turns out that TFFG is not above the law, but as with Covid, still more immune than one would hope. At least, he continues to be great at holding off the inevitable. Whatever’s decided, Matt Gaetz and Elise Stefanik have decided it wasn’t. Trump’s lawyer also hopes to put in a good word for machine guns. In Donald’s New York civil-fraud trial, Alan Weisselberg is once a liar, probably always a liar. Meanwhile, in the Nevada primary (and caucus) Republicans prefer Trump, or they prefer nothing at all. Nikkki Haley came in third. Donald is still sure it’s all rigged. Florida Rep Jason Shoaf wants to see Florida men hunt and kill more bears, especially if they are crack smoking black (urban) bears, which are apparently smarter and higher than the average country bear. 

It’s Tuesday, so it’s David Waldman and Joan McCarter put a good half hour into figuring out Republican strategy this year, which is about double what the Gops have done, and they regret even doing that much. Their problem is that they got what they demanded, so now they have no choice but to reject it. Mitch McConnell killed the bipartisan border bill 3 hours after supporting it. Mike Johnson backstabbed the Senate so he could kill it. Dick Durbin cannot do wrong, so Dems cannot do right. Now that the hard stuff is out of the way, Republican lawmakers can return to their first priority, impeaching someone. House Democrats aren’t about to let it become too easy however. Probably a few Republicans won’t either. Impeachment onanist Marge Greene hangs around in the Men’s room trying to hone her Vice-Presidential skills. Guess what?  U.S. Court of Appeals has finally rejected TFFG’s claim of presidential immunity. Hopefully this will speed up the judicial process, but don’t get your hopes up. What’s wrong with a little judicial process anyway? Historians just wish we’d learn to quit repeating history. Ronny Jackson wants to stop aid to the West Bank and Gaza because he’s afraid to travel. Ronny and Ted Cruz need to learn to Skype more. 10 Oregon Gop state senators took 6 weeks off, and now they can’t run for reelection.

Yes, for maybe a decade now we at KITM have been kind of obsessed. Our entire focus is, it would seem, one name, over and over. You’d think that name was the only one we know... but not today.  Last night, Tracy Chapman made the ‘80’s great again. And Céline Dion. And, OK, we should mention Taylor Swift once more. David Waldman and Greg Dworkin try to make it feel like a normal Monday. Oh, and another guy we talk about, Donald Trump, is ahead in the polls… But what does that really mean anyway? Quality polls have Donald in the lead by only a little bit…  Then there’s Joe Biden’s blowout win! …against Dean Phillips and… Marianne Williamson. Sure, turnout was a bit low, but that’s not the point! The point is, a lot of women hate Trump. And union members. Trump’s going to be convicted, and doesn’t that matter? And, the Mooch says he’ll be low on money! And twenty-five historians agree that if Salmon P. Chase were still Chief Justice, things would be a lot different for TFFG, you bet! Even E. J. Dionne, Jr. believes Trump should be off the ballot… not ahead in the polls… As we whistle through this graveyard, let the Keith Number, or even the Armando Number help cheer our tune.  J.D. Vance hustled the Overton window down the field quite a way before being tackled by George Stephanopoulos on Sunday. Democrats are having trouble even taking George Santos’ seat, because of Great Neck, New York’s fear of Mexican caravans. That is why House Gops would never accept a border deal, no matter how good it was, how much they got out of it, or who wrote it. At least a couple of Republicans have been inconvenienced lately.  Nancy Mace is an awful representative, but a terrible manager. Ted Cruz needs a security detail to keep the hoi polloi away from him when he vacations in Cancun.

Okay, campers, rise and shine — and don't forget your booties 'cause it's coooooold out there today! Wait, it’s not so bad this year… Maybe that’s a symbol we’re turning a corner, a new Spring of understanding, empathy, a blossoming of… Or, global warming. Either way, you know David Waldman and KITM will always return. When the FBI searched Mar-a-Lago, staff tried the “That locked door behind the dresser? Oh, that’s nothing.” gambit, and it worked. That was some Obi Wan move by Trump valet Walt Nauta, who, like his boss, usually works his magic via blackmail. (And by “magic”, I mean “sexual assault”.) For Donald Trump, the only true friend is a well-blackmailed friend. Bribery only works in the short term. Christopher Steele found plenty of evidence of both, and Trump’s lawsuit against him has been thrown out.  MAGA followers flourish like mushrooms, kept in the dark and fed bullshit… It is amazing to witness their first glimpse of sunlight. Anti-LGBT in the streets, enthusiast in the sheets Bridget Ziegler did sometimes object to her husband Christian’s values. Arizona Gops are tired of endless vote recounts and are proposing that they just win from now on. Meanwhile in federal governing, Republicans find that the best way to get anything done is to have Democrats do it. A U.S. tech mogul used nonprofits to sow Chinese propaganda, when there were probably cheaper methods available.

David Waldman and Greg Dworkin start the month off right, or more or less “left”, which is a pretty good place to start. Our top news story for today: Taylor Swift, or as I call her, “Tay-Tay”, because of her Japan-Nevada Superbowl body double... It is tough coming up with better/worse conspiracies than the ones MAGA have. Those folks would be pretty hilarious if some of them weren’t killing people. Not only with beheadings either, but drownings have been becoming popular recently. As long as he can cash a check, Greg Abbott will be a genocider. All Abbott needs to remember is the difference between a “caravan” and a “convoy”, and “military-aged” and “tomato picking-aged” men. An Indiana state representative didn’t know the difference between opening up his coat and opening up his pants when consoling high school students, not that there would be much difference as far as he was concerned. Dotard Donald Trump isn’t aware that he lost $83.3 million recently, but frankly, with MAGA he will never need to be. Jefferson Davis was allowed to eventually retire to his New Orleans Mar-a-Lago, but then again Jeff still had friends. Nikkki Haley used to be Donald’s friend… then again maybe she still is, it’s hard to tell. Some people will say anything. For instance: “President Biden will win re-election by a thin margin with an average voter turnout” (Someone was PAID to say that.) 51% say a Trump conviction would affect their vote, how many of them would then say “the court was rigged”? Perhaps 100% of those who want to say that. (100% of all polls should have the Keith Number attached) That said, if you like good Biden news, they have good Biden news. The real important numbers always follow a dollar sign though, and those numbers look bad for TFFG.

It’s Wednesday! Not a post-primary Wednesday, but aren’t they all post-primary Wednesdays from now on? Not if Greg Dworkin has anything to say about it, and he has a lot to say about it to David Waldman on today’s KITM.   First — MAGA goes full incel by Taylor Swift-boating the Superbowl, the Music Industry, Americana, love and all that is good in the world. Many great men, tears in their eyes, reassured Donald that he’s at least twice as F’-able as Taylor.   But I digress. Back to very stable genius Donald Trump and the Republican primary. The primary seems to be wrapped up, but should TFFG get wrapped up in either court cases or a straitjacket, old pal Nikkki Haley will be right there waiting in the wings to take over.   Trump’s Supreme Court is working overtime to figure a way out for their guy and themselves on the 14th Amendment issue. It would seem cut and dry, but Trump’s newest Lawyers (Bye, Alina!)  have plenty of hijinks yet to pull. Meanwhile, Trump’s House tries and tries and tries to impeach Homeland Security Secretary Alejandro Mayorkas, or somebody, anybody really. It’s either that or a civil war, maybe both.   You think Gops are bad, you should see their constituents.  Hopefully you’ll see them before they see you. Germany is catching on, finally, to the threat everyone warned them about, yet for some reason they could Nazi coming.   Then again, over here Nancy Pelosi links pro-Palestine protesters to China and Russia and people goof on her, instead of considering that she might just have information that they don't.

I know we don’t really care about Lauren Boebert very much, but it’s funny that she moved from the 3rd district to the 4th district, and came in 5th. And this despite having some other, equally f*@k3d-up Republicans as her opponents. On the 14th Amendment front, former MT Gov. and RNC Chair Marc Racicot argues for disqualification. Meanwhile, the guy who would be disqualified is outraged that the court trying him for fraud was worried that he might still be committing fraud, and was of course correct about that. One of TFG’s favorite propaganda outfits, henceforth to be known as the “Un-American News Network,” was essentially rigging their stories about their belief that the elections were rigged. The Great Hero of the Jade Helm Resistance has imagined a new and more glorious battle for himself, which will call for Insurrection Act reform and is instigating a constitutional crisis as well. And as Joan McCarter reminds us, House Republicans intend to cap it off with a yargle bargle-level “impeachment.” It might be just a distraction from the normal work of governing that they’re used to ignoring, but this one probably won’t last long. But meanwhile, our own government doesn’t get funded, and allies feeling the heat overseas don’t get help either. Apparently, much to the delight of Hungary’s wackadoodle fascists. It’s enough to make you think all the Republicans are on (stolen) drugs. That stuff can make you bonkers!

Well, apparently there was no news this weekend other than Taylor Swift and the football guy. But Greg Dworkin was convinced that other things happened. Oh, here’s some news: Trump is terrible. I mean, just the worst. Only slightly worse than his supporters, of course. Speaking of those terrible people, they are — with no sense of irony — headed to the border in their own caravan of chaos. Meanwhile in Washington, Gop officialdom won’t take yes for an answer. Of course, if the courts say it, they won’t take no, either. We may be about to find out how not-rich Trump really is. (Let’s see if Wall Street types love him then.) And any time is a good time to find out how not-on-the-ballot he should be. And have you heard about this White House pharmacy thing? Well, there’s more! Or actually, less. I mean, seriously, they looted the place! And I’m starting to think maybe Elise Stefanik got into the fentanyl. Random other notes: the burghers of Germany turn out for anti-fascist rallies. knew that Republicans did not deserve a red wave, but skewed polls implying a red wave still did plenty of damage. Lastly: conservatives are perverts, and also, conservatives are perverts.

Today, David Waldman reveals one weird trick that will shock you, or he will read and comment on the news. Find out which on this Friday KITM! California Assembly Bill 83 is titled “Political Reform Act of 1974: contributions and expenditures by foreign-influenced business entities”, but might be better known as the “Money Out, Voters In!” bill, designed to defend democracy by closing the Citizens United loophole allowing foreign money to flood elections. Representative Jamie Raskin likes it, you should too! Mixed-up Michigan Gops don’t know where their next paycheck is coming from, but should, one way or the other, by the end of February. Ace KITM Correspondent Rosalyn MacGregor reports that 13 Dem-held MI districts have been ordered to be redrawn. Detroit-area voters want special elections this year for 6 Senate districts, 2 years ahead of schedule. Now the U.S. Supreme Court is being asked to delay all of this until 2026. A solution for Republican chaos everywhere has been suggested in Missouri, who are proposing to allow members to challenge each other to duels, to be held at high noon in the well of their senate, clearly without consideration for their custodial staff. Nancy Mace’s plan on January 6 was to get punched in the face. This idea might be better accepted today, as more people have gotten to know her. Peter Navarro is taking his punchable face to prison for 4 months. 3-minute man Donald Trump would have finished even faster yesterday had not so many people been watching him so closely.  Trump wanted to be judged by neither judges nor juries, until he realized the alternative.  If SCOTUS are worried that there will be riots if they judge against TFFG, wait until they see what happens if they don’t.

David Waldman and Greg Dworkin deliver us to the weekend! Almost! Give us another day or two, we’ll get there! Speed demon Donald Trump kicked into high gear lately when posting about E. Jean Carroll, then Nikkki Haley. Who knows what his next sleepless night might bring? Sure, we would all want Haley to stay in the Gop primary. Donald Trump might blow a blood vessel on live TV, and Nikkki is happy to remind the whole lot of them of their recent shrinkage. Alas, we don’t pay her bills. On the other hand, New Hampshire was a good test of Joe Biden’s support, and how many Democrats can spell Robinette. Poor Ron DeSantis, still reeling from the effects of the woke mind virus, has now found it more difficult to satisfy his wife in the manner to which she has become accustomed.   C’mon Republicans, you know Kari Lake is going to wear a wire! Lindsey Graham was born wearing one. Put the two of them in a room with Matt Gaetz and you could microwave hotdogs with the radiation. Of course, today all you need is a phone and the internet, as an Alina Habba MAGA fanboy discovered. The battle between the “Original” Michigan Gop, and the “AAAA-1” Michigan Gop rages on. In other civil war news, Greg Abbott will use the “Supreme Law of Texas” against the puny Yankee army, following the orders of his party’s Commander in Chief, Donald Trump. White nationalists do prefer that Kirk Lazarus would play Othello, but otherwise are big Shakespeare fans… although they are pretty bad at quoting the lines under pressure.   Uvalde police care about what their citizens say about them, at least enough to harass them further. California is voting out “Citizens United” foreign money, with your help!

David Waldman and Greg Dworkin returned to this morning’s KITM with the very latest in news and punditry. So, if you had that in the office pool, congratulations. Another primary down, (ok, the last one was a caucus) another set of losers. Ok, they’re all losers, but who’s the biggest loser this time? Some say Nikkki Haley blew it. Some say that, allowing for her lower vote total, Haley did just fine. Donald Trump begs to differ. Sure, Donald Trump can be a pretty poor loser, but he really is a horrible winner. Donald Trump shown that he does meet the criteria of his voting base, which is that his name is “Donald Trump”. This might not be enough to clinch the presidency however, in fact it could work against him in the general election. Joe Biden likes how it’s all going. More and more, so does the American public. President Joe Biden certainly has a lot more support than the generic Democrat, even when the generic Democrat has a name. The group most disappointed with last night’s results is the media invested in a horse race, who will now spend their time broadcasting fact checks to the only side who cares. You’d think that the White House pharmacy connected to Trump’s weight and health claims would be pretty hinky, and you’d be right. You would not be surprised to find out that the Oklahoma superintendent who accused teacher unions of turning public schools into Epstein Island hired the head of “Libs of TikTok” to review schoolbooks. You would guess that January 6 insurrectionists had cased the escape routes out of the Capitol well ahead of the event. You might not expect Texas to provoke a border war with the United States government, however.

Monday, David Waldman, Greg Dworkin and KITM. Here we go again! Oh, so close! Ron DeSantis called off his presidential run in second place! What did he do wrong? Was there anything that Ron did right? In his campaign DeSantis was a cruel, stupid, egotistical authoritarian to a fault, so everyone knew his heart was in the right place, MAGA-wise. His body count was second only to the Donald’s. It’s just that with prime Trump still on the menu, who needs a meatball sub?  Well, it’s up to Nikkki Haley to… No, it’s not. It has always been Trump.  Haley will endorse Trump in a couple of weeks. Sooner or later they always bend the knee. What else can any Gop do? (At least without begging a Democrat to help them.) Well, then the media should… Except that the media is even weaker than the Gop, and also has to worry about being seen as “partisan”. Once Trump strips Nikkki and Ron’s campaigns down for parts, he will only find Christina Pushaw worth salvaging. Christina and perhaps a few bits of anti-DEI literature, if that phrase even lasts the next few months. Well-dressed Nazi Gimmetarians are still getting a terrific ROI out of classic terms, such as “furries”, and “Hispanics”. Oklahoma Republican JJ Humphrey hates those Hispanics and furries, but remains solidly pro-cockfighting. (No word yet on Humphrey’s acceptance of Hispanic furry cockfighters.)  Still, with TFFG coronation still months away, Republicans should hang tight. Donald’s decaying faster than a Cybertruck in the rustbelt. 

It’s Friday, so David Waldman packs 5 days of punditry into our two hour sack: Senate passed a short-term spending bill, Congress cleared it, by suspending the rules. Thanks goes to Democrats without whom nothing could be possible. Ecuador is letting go of its pesky democracy in order to take on the threat of the drug gangs that they had packed into leaky prisons following neighboring El Salvador letting go of its pesky democracy in order to take on the threat of the drug gangs that they had packed into leaky prisons. Their presidents are becoming dictators, but also are becoming very popular with their terrified citizenry so... Donald Trump just wishes he had a hellhole like that to campaign in. Donald is detestable, he’s demented, he’s delusional, he’s despicable, he’s deeee-plorable! Trump should check out Oklahoma, where any person who is of Hispanic descent is a terrorist and children pretending to be animals risk suspension… and impoundment. Rural counties embrace local militias to assuage their fears... or because they fear the militias? Militias there are only a minute away from becoming a primary law enforcement and military force. Don’t freak out though, it can’t happen here. Remember January 6? Good, because there are people out there trying to make that difficult. Remember COVID? Too bad, more reminders are heading your way. Remember all of the pending criminal and civil cases against Donald Trump? That’s ok, we have people out there to handle that. Ace KITM Correspondent Rosalyn MacGregor reports that some of the Michigan Gop have voted that they are the real original Michigan Republican Party, although some others have voted that they were earlier, as if they all were competing Asian restaurants. This must make bumping into each other down in the breakroom awkward.

We are LIVE! We salute Justice Putnam, host of the West Coast Cookbook & Speakeasy, following this show on Netroots Radio, for climbing the internet pole out back and plugging us back in, or whatever he did. David Waldman’s and Greg Dworkin’s wisdom can again be enjoyed milliseconds after it occurs to them. Lovable jerks! A popular trope in fiction that has a hard time translating into real life as real jerks aren’t really lovable. The completely fictional protagonist of the television program The Apprentice, “Donald Trump” endlessly threatens to creep back into our zeitgeist. Look at us, still blabbing about him. Too bad the horrible actor (and person) playing him isn’t going away soon, probably. KITM hasn’t called it yet, but Trump has the nomination locked up. RoboTrump Ron DeSantis has been crushed, as he deserved to be. Nikkki Haley isn’t Donald’s type either.  So “Donald Trump” isn’t going away soon, but being human, he can be defeated, and President Joe Biden is just the human to do it. Meanwhile, Trump rallies have moved to courthouses.  “Billion-Dollar Lawyer” Drew Findling is long gone, though. Million-dollar lawyer Joe Tacopina has also left. Thousand-buck lawyer Boris Ephsteyn isn’t even in the right courtroom. And, it’s hard to put a price on Trump lawyer/Melania stunt double Alina Habba, who would rather be pretty than smart. Trump isn’t investing in good lawyering anyhow. He’s paying for demolition experts. In Florida, Tom Keen is headed to the House after flipping a red seat blue, while in Virginia, red counties look to militias to take them back to the 1700’s.

Quit tapping your app, David Waldman was not streaming “live” today. He is “here”, though, and as yesterday recording so that you only need to defer your punditry gratification for a short while. Now that Greg Dworkin is here also, we have to talk about the Iowa Caucus again, but only for a moment as the Gop primary quickly moves on to dumber things. Sentimental favorite Ron DeSantis got second, yet you got to hope that cute little cuss survives for a few more states. The big news is that 30% of Gop voters wouldn’t vote for Donald Trump if he was “convicted”. Weird how they don’t consider Donald’s present convictions relating to fraud, rape, and slander as counting “enough”, isn’t it? After all, even Jesus had his share of courtroom trouble, but Donald Trump promises much more smiting to avenge his followers. Republicans know exactly what Trump’s promised land will look like, and it looks like... a Trump rally. Nikkki Haley can tell you there won’t be any racism there… There never was. Too bad Donald can’t even heal himself. The US economy is like Wayde Byard, unfairly maligned, now on the comeback to becoming appreciated. Speaking of the Commonwealth of Virginia, rural militias are contemplating well-regulating a few county governments. David returns to his tour of the “Dunning School”, not some brick-and-mortar school, but William Archibald Dunning’s popular rationalization of historiographic racism still permeating educational systems around the country, including yours.

Hey, what in the Eastern Orthodox Boxing Day is this? Turns out it was nothing, just something in the intertubes that froze up, so no “live” show. However, David Waldman, cozily ensconced in KITM World Headquarters close to the warm friendly crackle of his kitchen microwave, remained undeterred and pressed on… that is, the “on” button for the recorder: Yes, there was that thing in Iowa. Ron DeSantis lost badly, Nikkki Haley lost worse, and Donald Trump didn’t even win well. When TFFG wins, it just makes him and his followers angrier and more violent, so let’s just stop that shall we? Meanwhile Trump moves on from last week’s epic court loss and tantrum, to this week’s epic court loss, and tantrums. This week could have be worse for Donald. After all, look at poor Rudy Giuliani, finding out that his double jeopardy could quinquagintuple! Well, you know what history says about the Jan. 6 Committee investigation… You wouldn’t though, if the people who want to take over education taught history. The Dunning School of thought is followed by many decedents of Civil War losers to miseducate generations of students, right up to this day. The cold couldn’t stop Joan McCarter from Skyping in to report that the dysfunctional Gop Congress achieved their first tangible accomplishment, new congressional lapel pins! (Not green. MAGA doesn’t do green.) Otherwise, it’s the same old Trump impaction as they try to squeeze out a border deal. Interim Guest House Speaker Mike Johnson has already worn out his welcome. They wouldn’t punch a guy with glasses... would they? 

It’s Monday and David Waldman leads this morning’s charge with Operation “Kagro Morning”. The underinformed won’t know what hit them. Martin Luther King Jr. Day is another holiday that is celebrated through somber reflection, which I guess most of them are supposed to be, with the possible exception of National Nothing Day tomorrow. Greg Dworkin reminds us that if it wasn’t for Connecticut hospitality Dr. King’s dream might not be as inspired. Casaba-headed reactionary Charlie Kirk was recently dismayed to discover that Martin Luther King Jr. spoke over than 30 words during his lifetime, and wasn’t the Bircher Charlie thought he was. Kirk plans to use today’s holiday to haul the Overton Window to the right, and already the lunatic line is forming to hop out. Nikkki Haley represents the lost-causers just below, waiting to catch them. In many states that window has always had a southern exposure, although few people still are aware that even Alabamans weren’t all whistling Dixie. Perhaps we are all xenophobic authoritarians? Perhaps not. Anyhow, it is gratifying to know that a lot of those who are, are becoming frostbitten today. Haley is competing with Ron DeSantis to capture just the perfect essence of losing to Donald Trump while avoiding the stench of losing to each other. One way or the other, Republicans will be falling in line… and, of course, so will Democrats. The money is already on Joe Biden heading into a possibly balmier Iowa. Trump continues to be in trouble with the law. E. Jean Carroll's attorney asks Judge Kaplan to take "robust prophylactic measures", hopefully a tennis ball and duct tape if Donald decides to “testify”. Michigan Gop operations lead the way for others across the nation. Texas Governor Greg Abbott didn’t send migrants into sub-zero temperatures this week, but rather to the bottom of the Rio Grande.  Bill Ackman lived by the sword, and dies by the Axel Springer.

Can you believe it? It’s David Waldman, KITM, and Friday, once again. Circumstances are again forcing us to learn about some other country and some other group of people... And as usual, those circumstances involve us dropping bombs on that country and those people. Today, we leaf to the back of our atlas in order to find the country of Yemen, somewhat the home of the Houthis, the latest folks in the Middle East to piss us off. Not that they don’t deserve the back of Uncle Sam’s hand, you know. Once the US had put a few boats in the area it was hard to not notice what local hooligans they were. In fact, you could consider them regular pirates. Now, some are coming out against bombing Houthis... most notably the Houthis, but also American lawmakers miffed at not receiving war room invites. Hey, who would have guessed that Donald Trump would pitch a fit on the last day of court even after being repeatedly asked/warned/told not to? EVERYBODY. Everybody. Every-F-N-body.  Trump did not “skip” campaigning in Iowa to go to court! Wherever there’s an audience, that will be where Donald is “campaigning”. E. Jean Carroll's attorney begs her judge to wise up. Even Maggie Haberman is begging everyone to wise up. Ace KITM Correspondent Rosalyn MacGregor returns us to Ottawa County Michigan, site of rampant Republican on Republican violence. Now, there is a holy war between Christian nationalists… and Christian-Nationalists.

David Waldman and Greg Dworkin will be allowed to speak on their own behalf today. Annnd they’re rounding the bend! It’s Nikki Haley and Ron DeSantis, neck and neck heading into Iowa! Now that Chris Christie is out, that race is up for grabs! Gops finely tuned to every nuanced policy detail and scrupulously balancing every gradated point reached their somber conclusions, and it looks like it’s Nikki’s to lose! (Although Donald Trump does maintain a slim lead.) Baby Jesus could personally smite Donald Trump on live TV and he’d still have a lock on the nomination. Little things like what Donald says or does will have little bearing, until hopefully the general election. Things that Donald says and does do matter to courts of law, however. Judge Engoron carefully described the terms under which he would permit Trump to deliver a closing argument. Trump’s lawyers then trolled Engoron for a day or so, finally acquiescing to... LOL! JK! Donald is a 4-year-old at Denny’s. You don’t shut him up, you carry him out. Ron DeSantis needs to go back home and take responsiblity for his staff choices. A Moms for Liberty member… no, not the anti-LGBTQ leg on the marital Eiffel tower… and not the teen speakeasy fight club mom… a new one... was caught shoplifting at Target. Did the House Oversight Committee subpoena Taylor Swift yet?

David Waldman and Greg Dworkin return for a LIVE Wednesday KITM.  We’re all getting the hang of it this year! How embarrassing is it to be a Republican? Hunter Biden played with them this morning until it just became boring and sad. Soon, each House Gop will have been Speaker, as each previous member Leeeeeroy Jenkins into the maw of another spending deal talk. As Ace KITM Correspondent Rosalyn MacGregor has often told us, Republican antics in Michigan would embarrass any stooge.  In Florida it’s not so funny when they endanger and kill people. So how can the polls still be so close? Well, for one thing the media likes things close to better harvest your lovely frightened and angry clicks. Also, you know, they are just polls. It all sort of depends on what pollster you pulled them out of. Nonetheless, there aren’t enough Gops to give Nikki Haley the Republican nomination, and there… probably… is not enough MAGA to give Donald Trump the presidency. Speaking of the TFFG, polls say he shouldn’t be immune from prosecution any time in the past, present or future. More importantly, the courts seem to be agreeing. Trump and his lawyers thought they’d waltz around all those rakes in their path, yet managed to step on every single one. Now Donald Trump promises there will be hell to pay, but what Donald doesn’t yet get is that the bill is coming to him. Want to see a cool animated timeline of Donald Trump's efforts to overturn the 2020 election? How about a free one, without cool animations?

David Waldman is back, just like Tuesday! You can always rely on those two. President Joe Biden reminds us that Donald Trump is the losingest loser whoever lost, followed exclusively by Lost Cause losers who love losers and losing.  Trump is busy losing court cases this week.  Judicial Estoppel, John Stossel, Collateral Estoppel… There’s nothing Donald Trump won’t do or say  to escape the law. Dick Nixon rolled over in his grave faster than usual today as Trump tried to get a DC court to buy his absolute immunity defense. That sounds to have gone over as well as it did in NY court, and as it will in GA court. Having run out of reason, Donald falls back to terror. Judge Tanya Chutkan and Special Counsel Jack Smith have swatting attempted upon them, which was thwarted by just calling their around-the-clock bodyguards. Supervillain cosplayer Roger Stone circle jerk/brainstormed with a cop friend to assassinate Eric Swalwell and Jerry Nadler. Donald Trump wishes that the economy would crash before next Christmas. Mike Johnson and the House Gops are working hard to make all of Trump’s dreams a reality. Joan McCarter reports that the Freedom Caucus might not reach their goal of destroying the US in the next couple of weeks, but they owe it to their constituents to keep fighting. The “Freedom” Caucus’ second goal is to make certain Ukrainians lose theirs.  The Florida Republican Party has finally broken up with Christian Ziegler, so tonight he’s open to any group who might take him.

David Waldman and Greg Dworkin woke up bright and early to bring us our first Monday KITM of the year! They stayed awake too!  Joe Biden delivered a stemwinder-barnburner of a speech centered on January 6, and not just for people who use “stemwinder” or “barnburner” to describe speeches. The events of January 6 are burned into the minds of millions of Americans, though yet to light a single candle in Donald Trump’s dim consciousness. Nonetheless, minions, lackies, and cult members have all been waving their gaslights hoping to earn Donald’s fleeting affection. Elise Stefanik slipped one over on Kristen Welker, which apparently isn’t so tough… On a extremely related note, Mehdi Hasan has been shoved out of MSNBC. Mitt Romney says that democracy is just so “2020”. As usual, no Democrats and few Republicans are listening to Mitt Romney. Were security heads at January 6th corrupted, incompetent, or just low-key racist? Ron DeSantis continues to fade against Trump, which is surprising as Ron is the candidate with the closest body count. Florida’s surgeon general continues to roll up the score. Nikki Haley is next into the barrel. Meanwhile, the Supreme Court will decide whether Trump should be allowed on the ballot. He shouldn’t, they know that, but what they will say is up for grabs. If Donald can’t have absolute immunity, he’ll indict everybody, which is half of what he plans to do if he does get absolute immunity. Congress has reached a deal! Of course, there are a few details to knock out.

David Waldman posits a few questions on today’s show. Questions for which careful, or even casual listeners of KITM might know the answer. For instance, what do you have to lose from taking Hydroxychloroquine? Ok, that was an easy one. What about that January 6 riot at the Capitol, bad thing or no? And, Donald Trump… Insurrectionist, or treasonous bastard? Right, again! The questions get tougher from here on out. Trump received at least $7.8M in payments from foreign governments as president. That would seem to be a violation of the Constitution... but is it? Why did everyone know the answer to that one, and yet nothing happened? Armando knows! In fact, Armando has known for years, and has told us many times, here with David, and daily as he continues to fight the good fight in the cloacae of X. Donald Trump isn’t going solo for an insanity defense on his myriad of legal cases, he’s paying lawyers to say a lot of crazy stuff as well. The main goal is to dump stupid into the gears of justice, but if any one of the SCOTUS in his pocket find anything to hang on to, that will be welcomed as well. Can anything counter Trump? That’s a great question, and if anyone has the answer, it’s these two. 

Where’d we go? Sleepyhead David Waldman clocked in late yesterday and Greg Dworkin’s Raft O’ Stories went adrift. The good news is, David’s back on schedule, and Greg has a XL boatload of polls and punditry for us today.   About those polls… Half of the world will be going to some sort of poll this year. So, a million polling prognosticators are out there with differing methodologies and rates of success. All of them had better make certain that they are paid upfront, and take their phone off the hook after their elections. Low turnout propensity young voters don’t know, don’t care, and don’t feel like it right now, maybe check them later? Nikki Haley is working tirelessly to spend a hundred million or so, specifically to lose the least to Donald Trump.   This makes no sense, unless you suppose that Nikki has read the Constitution. Donald Trump’s lawyers argue that Donald knows that Joe Biden is not president, and everyone else knows that Trump is not president, so why involve the courts? Right about now Republicans are finding the republican aspect of government inconvenient, at least the 14th ammendment.   Trump isn’t getting out of his E. Jean Carroll rape defamation civil trial. Rape nor defamation is that big a deal to his white evangelical base anyhow.   In Kentucky, former Kentucky clerk Kim Davis, who refused to grant a gay couple a marriage license has been ordered to pay an additional $260,104, which is more than she spends on Aqua Net in a year.   Multiple state Capitols have been evacuated due to mass-emailed bomb threats. It is presently much more dangerous to attend a public school.   Bill Clinton, Donald Trump, and David Copperfield can’t magically escape from their past with Jeff Epstein. Alan Dershowitz thinks he’s Houdini though.

Don’t anyone go accusing me of sleeping on the job! I do the job after I sleep! Even if I choose to do my sleeping during, you know, the time when most people anticipate that I’ll be doing my job. So, that happened. But then I decided I’d better read and discuss at least an hour’s worth of material today, or we’ll start falling behind. Over in Ivy League Land, where people are used to falling behind if they don’t do their reading, we have the unfortunate case of Harvard President Claudine Gay becoming a trophy for the “anti-woke” weirdos. Worse still, the weirdos have employed a quiet “woke-ism” in leveraging various minority communities in their crusades, none of which will actually benefit those communities. Meanwhile, some are starting to notice dreadful similarities between current tactics and… Gamergate. I don’t know what’s the bigger story here: that Trump paid a guy to search out evidence of voter fraud, or that Trump paid a guy ? Now that the first few successes have opened the 14th Amendment floodgates, it’s Scott Perry’s “time in the barrel.” Rosalyn MacGregor has told us repeatedly how cuckoo-bananas the Michigan Republican Party is nowadays. And now everyone is noticing. But here’s a new angle on it, and on disinformation “Patient Zero,” Gateway Pundit. It’s almost as if the act was implied right in the name.

2024! Are you still writing “2023” on your checks? (btw, what is a “check”?) David Waldman, finally able to wear his two-button shorts on the air without copyright infringement, delivers possibly the least teeth-gnashing news day of the year. Bridget Ziegler, the anti-LGBTQ mom recorded in three-ways, is so “last year”. Let’s welcome Clarice Schillinger, the pro-COVID, anti-public school, woke-battling mom, charged with running underage drinking parties and fist fighting teens. The United Arab Emirates, like the Corleone family, have been diversifying their financial operations over the past few generations. Thomas Friedman is certain that if Palestinians had just shown that same pluck and determination as the UAE, they wouldn’t have needed those extra trillions in petrodollars to build their own little Abu Dhabi along the West Bank. Israelis meanwhile, are moving past powderizing Gaza and turning their attention back to fighting amongst themselves over which branch of government is on top. Donald Trump plans to turn his Jan. 6 trial into a ‘MAGA Freak Show’, as if there were any other kind. Later today, nearly 200 more names will be added to the Jeffrey Epstein walk of shame.

David Waldman and Greg Dworkin wish you all a happy LAST year! (Because we're re-running our Jan. 2, 2023 episode!) It’s not a prediction per se, but a nice objective.   2023 won’t be a good year to avoid gun deaths. New Year's Eve parties featured the usual accidental shooting deaths, and related casualties and injuries.   Not universally beloved Pope Benedict’s death might just reshape the Catholic Church, or maybe not.   Congress votes for a new speaker of the House tomorrow. Historical as always, but this time maybe a little more historical, and hopefully a little more hysterical than usual. Understudies await in the wings to rescue their party, or at least to get a chance to burn it all down. Hakeem Jeffries will receive Democratic votes, but the chances of a unity candidate are slim.   Everyone knew that Republicans did not deserve a red wave, but skewed polls implying a red wave still did plenty of damage. Hardline Elise Stefanik supporter, Elise Stefanik has had a hate-love-loooooove relationship with Donald Trump which Donald rightfully distrusts. David teams up with the New York Times to find how Stefanik’s craven opportunism might not be enough to keep her on top.

That’s it. We’ve officially run out of holidays to take off this year. David Waldman and Greg Dworkin have returned for the second day in a row. Nikki Haley wasn’t about to get caught with a trick question on the cause of the Civil War. It was, however, a simple question that Nikki thought needed a trick answer. Surprised by someone who could so easily raise more than her, Lauren Boebert is working to not risk losing her grip on power without getting another handhold first. 10 inches of secret documents might not be the only thing Donald Trump is sitting on. Jack Smith has always smelled something fishy, and filed a motion in limine to obtain a pre-trial ruling regarding the admissibility of certain types of evidence at trial.  Clarence Thomas isn’t about to recuse himself on something as important as Trump’s immunity issues, at least without seeing a little something up front. There are bad arguments against the application of Section 3 of the Fourteenth Amendment against Trump. Bad arguments are all they have, but never something Gops have a problem with using. The Michigan Supreme Court doesn’t see why they should be deciding anything as long as they have a court above them to toss to. Ace KITM Correspondent Rosalyn MacGregor has been telling us about the disintegration of the Michigan Republican Party for some time now. One MI fake elector regrets his actions, 15 more to go. Robin Vos demonstrates that a Republican can do wrong for his entire career and yet find himself out on the slightest principled slip.

We’re back! Greg Dworkin was rarin’ to go, rounding up happenings from the extended holiday weekend. That included a reminder that while polling a year out from the election is often worthless, it’s perhaps valuable to ask people whether a criminal conviction would change their minds about voting for Trump. So, someone did.   I don’t know if you’ve heard this, but the economy is doing a lot better than the so-called experts said it would be. But so-called experts get a lot of things wrong. For instance, they used to insist that abortion could never be “a winning issue for us.” And now “pro-life” types aren’t even sure they like guns so much! And legislators who opted to do nothing — even after Sandy Hook — now think that just maybe, they made a mistake.   Greg’s fond of reminding us that Trump is a “chaos agent.” What’s the opposite of that? A stability agent, I guess. And we’ve got a pretty good one.   All the robots at Tesla are going haywire. Not just the cars. (Or the owner.)   Moms Three Liberty continues its walk of shame. “Lordy, there are tapes” is becoming cliché, but it’s still fun to talk about. And of course, we had to revisit the Colorado Supreme Court decision, plus the denial from SCOTUS on Jack Smith’s petition, neither of which are the end of the line. There’s a lot more to say about both of these cases. But Clarence Thomas shouldn’t be among those saying it.

Travel day! We'll be back live for Eastern Orthodox Boxing Day. But for now, please enjoy this look back in our short-hop time machine! Today, David Waldman presented a limited edition KITM, offered live only to a select audience in his kitchen this morning, but now publicly available at an amazingly low price! Are Rooibos and Yerba Mate teas any good? One way to find out.  Just Security sums up the January 6th Select Committee’s final report, and The Bulwark focuses on the Trump coup’s fake elector scheme, Donald Trump claims that he has total immunity and total innocence, the MAGA mantra. Adam Schiff points out that is the one thing to remember about Jan 6. Russian weenie king Pavel Antov fell out a window and died. Pavel's co-traveler died a couple of days before. Russian plutocrats are incredibly limber and yet strangely clumsy. The Russian Foreign Minister is afraid that they might have to send their army into Ukraine if things don’t improve.  Someone made the mistake of numbering Democrats, when they could all walk through the door at the same time, like Republicans. George Santos might be Jew-ish, gay-y, rich-esque, but he’s definitely a phony.

Our Boxing Day '22 show fills in for VI Kal. Ianiuarius. KITM gave the staff the whole day off for Christmas this year, allowing us to be here all the earlier next morning for Boxing Day! The first rule of Boxing Day is you do not sing Boxing Day carols. Instead, David Waldman and Greg Dworkin of course croon only the best Christmas songs written by Jewish men, (All of them.) including that anti-nuclear annihilation ditty, “Do You Hear What I Hear?”, and the Ukrainian export, “Carol of the Bells”.  It’s also Monday, so Greg’s here to review with us all of the punditry that he has heard and seen recently. Boxing Day is big in the UK, primarily with those not freezing or starving to death. In a decade or so, survivors might look back at Brexit and appreciate it more. Over our holiday weekend, 13 people died in a blizzard in Buffalo, New York. People with a sense of humor clearly not burdened by “wokeness” vandalized more power substations and trafficked migrants to the sidewalk outside Vice President Kamala Harris' residence. Donald Trump said some Donald Trump things. Elon Musk will be remembered in the same breath as the Mona Lisa, if she was a tech bro corporate bossist troll. Why tweet when you can tusk or toot or something? The great detectives in the January 6 committee deduced the culprit, but now righting his wrongdoings are our responsibility. Dominion Voting Systems should sue Trump for defamation, but would it be worth it? Stefanie Lambert might have defamed more people for Trump than any other lawyer. TFG does not look like a shoe in for the Republican 2024 primary.  Neither does Ron DeSantis. Volodymyr Zelensky inspired with his Christmas message. Useful idiots over here would rather give up Christmas than embrace Zelensky.

Today might not be the holly-est nor jolliest, but it sure is beginning to feel a lot like the weekend. David Waldman helps us to constructively fill two more hours before we can open presents. Yesterday, Donald Trump said that he was not a crook, assuring no one on earth, although Donald did knock off one more day of being not held responsible until he can hide in a casket, which has been his sole ambition for over 70 years. The 14th amendment is not the “magical cure-all” that finishes Trump once and for all, but if law and justice can just put one dent in that plan it would be really good for America. This is a generally held Democratic goal, but could possibly become a Republican goal too if they took some time to think about it. Textualists, Originalists, Literalists, and Hypocrites might have found themselves painted into a constitutional corner this time, however. Meanwhile, Trump is connected to an absolutely perfect phone call pressuring Michigan election officials to subvert the vote. Ronna McDaniel can pack her bags now as she will be relocating under the bus for the foreseeable future. It’s a boom time to be a misinformation researcher. Manufacturers and distributors will send you research materials for free.

And, lo, David Waldman brings us good tidings of great joy, and Greg Dworkin with his Thursday Raft o’ Stories and Boatload of Punditry and Polls™. Amdt14.S3.1 is getting coverage like Luke 2:8-14 this week. SCOTUS will need more than originalism to excuse the decision 6 of them would really wish to be making. Gops would prefer that the Supreme Court would keep its nose out of Constitutional matters, and yet this case just might be the enema they’ve all needed for the last 8 years. On the other hand, most US adults approve of the Colorado Supreme Court ruling. Adults don’t include those “MAGA über alles, über alles in der Welt” types. Still, if you look at the polls, they will tell you… nothing really. Gas is cheap, though. Republicans in Congress prefer whatever lies they can get on Ukraine. You might remember Great Barrington from their crappy Barrington Declaration, but can now know them for their fake vice squad cop and his pretend Tik Tok raid looking to find racy literature in an 8th grade classroom. A Judge ordered Scott Perry to hand over 1,650 text and email records. Too bad Scott’s pardon was lost in the mail.

Great news! Greg Dworkin floated by this morning on his raft o’ stories, and managed to regale us with the latest news until we lost sight of him about a half hour later... Excellent news! The Colorado Supreme Court has ruled that Donald Trump is ineligible to run for president. David Waldman wasn’t that sure he could do a whole show on the subject, but he underestimates himself. The folks who normally hold the Constitution as gospel and vice versa, and who also remind us that the US isn’t a democracy but a republic, suddenly have a problem with this particular Constitution. It also seems that the Founding Fathers, Et Al. who couldn’t foresee a guy like Donald Trump, kind of did at that. The Colorado Supremes weren’t asleep in their law or history classes, either. SCOTUS will really earn their pay if they can fish Donald out of this one. The pro-Trumpers who applied for a National Park Service permit purposely left out any mention of what they were planning to do because they and Donald Trump really wanted it to be a surprise. The Confederate soldiers and WWIII cosplayers in attendance were a bit of a spoiler, however. On a related note, in Alabama, Tommy Tuberville finally surrendered in his war against the United States military.

On the KITM Holiday Countdown we’re running out of holidays to count down. As it is Tuesday, we did count down the minutes till David Waldman welcomed Joan McCarter, but didn’t expect her to bring many glad tidings. The Gop has no Christmas joy to send Ukraine. Germany will be permanently deploying troops for the first time since World War II. Leonard Leo will make sure Supreme Court stockings are overflowing this year, as he has in years before. Clarence Thomas will continue to ho-ho-ho for billionaires, but won’t expect anything nice from his sister. (Actually, he probably does.) The court is probably wrapping their secret Santa gift for Donald Trump as we speak. (They’ll never top the one Sandra Day O'Connor gave W.) Republicans nominate a “Democrat” to succeed George Santos, thus replacing a liar with a lie. Ever since Greg Abbott had his saw blade buoys taken away, he’s been looking for a new way to persecute migrants. Instead, he’s reaching back to the classics.

Some of you might be taking the holiday off today, but not David Waldman, and not us at KITM World Headquarters. Greg Dworkin might be lost in the Connecticut outback without his mukluks, or he might be just sleeping in, we aren’t sure. Rudy Colludy Giuliani was ordered to pay $148 million in damages to Ruby Freeman and Shaye Moss, whom he had defamed. Giuliani will spend the next weeks defaming them some more, which gives him something to do while waiting for his criminal cases to begin. Rudy will never apologize, but really neither has Kenneth Chesebro, Sidney Powell or Scott Hall. Now Jenna Ellis, there’s an apology, and yet still not nearly enough. Trump’s Hope Hicks 2.0, Alina Habba, demands that the Supreme Court intervene and also stay out of Trump prosecutions. Alina convinced Trump that being sanctioned a million dollars is winning. How does she do it? How does Clarence Thomas do it? Shortly after he notched the Supreme Court gig, Thomas’ fancy turned from ladies around the office to a love more profound and enduring, the devotion of a good sugar daddy.

David Waldman enters his “Friday Era” today, which counting inclusively from the Ides, would fall upon the... well, depending on the Augustus or Sextilis derivation, would… heck, politics does complicate everything, including us getting to the weekend. Sometimes things aren’t so complicated. CNN reports that a collection of raw Russian intelligence disappeared under Donald Trump, which is exactly where most would predict it would disappear. Donald lost a full 10 inches of highly classified information on the Russia Russia Russian interference on the 2016 elections, which Trump planned to declassify, but apparently just forgetting it was easier. Stochastic terrorism would be a cinch for Trump because there are so many ready to help him out for free. As Donald will tell you though, just being associated with the Trump name should be enough for anybody. Where would convicted criminal and alleged stalker Brock William Fredin be without the Trump boost?

David Waldman welcomes us to this week’s Penultimate KITM Special, which features this week’s ultimate Greg Dworkin appearance, and you can’t beat that. Jack Smith’s bold interlocutory appeal, which hopefully is the interdigitary case to finally cut through Donald Trump’s interstitial bullshit, seems a huge play but is a good bet. The Dow is surging with the Joementum of Bidenomics. Is Jerome Powell’s Fed pulling off a soft landing? Stock and Bond markets sure think so. Remember, never give your money to Republicans to handle. Reality continues to outperform vibes. That won’t matter to MAGA. Gops have no foundation for impeachment, but why worry when they only need it for a few months and everyone involved is disposable? If anyone on Team Trump isn’t a criminal already, they will be one shortly. Meanwhile, people still debate whether the Boston Tea Partiers are actually criminals or just very naughty cosplayers.

David Waldman and Greg Dworkin round up the election news, the court news, and everything in between.  The Supreme Court will hear a challenge to an obstruction law used on January 6th insurrectionists. It all depends on what their definition of corruption, is. Special counsel Jack Smith made a gutsy move to ask the Supreme Court to decide whether Donald Trump has absolute immunity before he spends any more time prosecuting him. It seems like a simple decision, but the Supremes could make it pretty complicated. Trump lawyers want to immediately halt, and/or immediately review any immunity decision, depending upon the immunity decision. Democrats lose some, win some with redistricting. Winning is better. Republicans do not want to talk about the Kate Cox abortion case. Everyone told Donald Trump about fake electors, now the fake electors have to tell it to the judge. Remember Jack Teixeira, the Air National Guard member who looked 12 years old, and who was trying to impress actual 12-year-olds by letting them peek at his collection of military secrets? If you are the kind of person who would read this summary you might, if you aren’t, you… would not. There are oh so many reasons to vote for Joe Biden in 2024. There are also, apparently a couple of reasons people have to not make that choice, including being as stupid AF. Perhaps voters need to be reminded that the other choice would be Donald Trump. Retired Republican members of Congress attitudes are unsurprisingly different from the idiots who used to pay their bills. Those who still need MAGA millions have to keep doing things like pretend to impeach Joe Biden, even if it means impeaching Joe Biden. Withholding funds on Ukraine might be an effective troll on Joe Biden, but Dems aren’t the only thing that might be triggered.

David Waldman never does anything halfway. Except for today. Today David is “out”, but only halfway, leaving a brand-new, recorded live, special 1-hour KITM : Donald Trump’s plan for the last 50 years has been to postpone justice for his actions until he’s dead.  So far, so good, I guess, but it would be nice if someone could find a way to hurry him along. Jack Smith just might have come up with a way to short-circuit Trump’s endless postponements of his March 4 criminal trial. On Monday, Smith asked the Supreme Court to step in to decide Trump’s presidential immunity appeal directly, and it looks as if the Supreme Court will decide on something somewhat soon. The Electronic Registration Information Center, aka ERIC was a bipartisan solution to voter fraud, until Republicans started to really dig voter fraud, and hankered for a solution that prioritized what they wanted over their depressing reality. This turns out to be exactly the thing AI is best at.

David Waldman and Greg Dworkin continue our KITM Holiday Countdown. We’re halfway through one, and have only a few more to go this year! Remember Alex Jones? Yeah, he’s back on whatever Twitter is now. Can we not attend to that crap over there anymore? I will move as many links as I can to Threads or Blue Sky, but if I can’t I will try to give you a heads up, like for this one. Anyhow, we have too much other crap to deal with.  Donald Trump is blowing away his primary competition, while Joe Biden trails behind “Imaginary Dem”, “Fantasy Dem”, and oh, Santa Claus probably. The Texas abortion case undermines the rationale for abortion bans and shows how useless rationales have become for Gops. Conservatives fight against way too much, and too little, free speech at universities. MAGA might not feel the effects of inflation most, but they do affect those feelings more intensely. MAGA women want a Hallmark life, but place Mad Max votes. The House inquiry into impeaching Joe has led to a decision to inquire some more. Rudy Giuliani’s defamation trial commences. Jack Smith continues to debunk Trump lies. How do military veterans withstand being in the same room as military experts like Tommy Tuberville and Donald Trump?

What happened when the U.S. failed to prosecute an insurrectionist ex-president? Well, we already failed to prosecute Jefferson Davis, the President of the Confederacy. So, what happened? It’s a long story… which happens to be David Waldman’s specialty, especially for Friday KITMs.   It turns out even that story wasn’t long and involved enough to stand up to a full two hours of Kagro scrutiny.  So, we brought in a recorded segment from Seth Chipman, entitled “What Hamas Promises, Iranians Know Too Well”.   But wait, there’s more! Police in Nepal have detained 10 people that they say had soaked unemployed youths for huge amounts of money, to then ship them off to the Russian army.   With the defeat of Russia by the Japanese in the Russo-Japanese War, Black intellectuals in the U.S. saw that White hegemony was not invincible.   Ceci n'est pas une “beignet”? The French line up at Krispy Kreme. Is it “ennui”? “Ironie”? Or, just “yummy”?

David Waldman awoke from his long winter’s nap this Hanukkah Eve morning to activate the mighty KITM World Headquarters bank of computers. One of those slept in until about 9:02. Greg Dworkin, punctual as ever, actually managed to sleep after witnessing the best the Gop has to offer in their final presidential debate. 4 losers entered the debate stage last night. 4 losers left at the end. Nikki Haley didn't remotely win then, and has no chance of winning now, but did lose the least. Sentimental favorite Chris Christie delivered accountability and culpability to the debate, and you can guess how that went.                                                    The winner, of course was the party’s biggest loser, Donald Trump, whom it would be pointless to debate as he is not running for president. The Donald is presently putting together a staff portfolio more appropriate to hang in a post office, or perhaps a service station outside a piazza. Still, even though he’s probably just being sarcastic, Trump continues to claim that he is “a candidate”. Hopefully the Colorado Supreme Court can explain that joke. Trump tells his followers to stand back, stand by, get ready to ram the ramparts and guard the vote.                                                                                                                                        You may recognize the candidate for George Santo’s now empty congressional seat by all the red circles pointing him out on January 6. Had this guy known Congress was a thing, he would have run for office long ago. What insurrectionist will get Kevin McCarthy’s old office? How about Matt Gaetz’s? Now, Nevada Gops are being charged with felonies for being fake electors. Want to know more? Just ask Kenneth Chesebro.                                                                                                                  As long everyone is mad at them, Republicans figure they might as well cut funding to Ukraine, and maybe abolish Obamacare. You know who we should elect for President? Joe Biden.                                                                                                         And now that they got their bonuses, US retail lobbyists can quit their shoplifting gang stories. 

Against all odds, David Waldman and Greg Dworkin have returned for Wednesday’s KITM. (The odds were actually pretty good.) Donald Trump doesn’t sound like a guy who wants to be president, which of course he never has. Trump has always wanted to be a dictator, but this time Donald hopes to be less inept at becoming one. Kash Patel already has a truckload of jackboots ordered from Temu. Donald promised Sean Hannity that he’d use only the tip of his dictatorship this next time, but if he only had his Luger on him back in 2020, things would’ve been different. Greg assures us that there are reasons for hope in these bleak times. For one thing, there is Taylor Swift. Joe Biden may be no rizz goblin, but he makes do, at least for those who prefer data over vibes. Meanwhile, Kenneth Chesebro will take his stool on the road to pigeon for election interference investigators in Nevada and Arizona. Once a “hellraiser”, North Carolina’s Patrick McHenry looked around the House and realized that his mission had been accomplished. Kevin McCarthy can tell when he’s not wanted. Tommy Tuberville may be stupid, but no, he’s just stupid. Apparently, Israel... kind of had their world-renowned military and intelligence attention, uhm, elsewhere when partying peaceniks got massacred, which ironically... and effectively... spurred a series of the largest retaliatory strikes in the area’s history. Norman Lear, writer/director of one of my favorite (and Gen Z’s most incomprehensible) movies, Cold Turkey, has most productively filled 101 years. 

David Waldman counts down the days… and doesn’t find a lot. 2015! That’s when I signed my million-dollar contract to write summaries for KITM. (It wasn’t stipulated over what span of time we were talking.) We were heading into an election that year too, but that one was just some low stakes affair. This year is different. 2024 brings us Republican candidate Donald Trump, well known philanderer, fraudster and cad. And worse, lately Trump has been considered an “agent of chaos” who fully intends to put the dick back in dictatorship, and even the media has become concerned. Will voters be more concerned than they were in 2015? Well, pardon them if they don’t. They will also need to show $2 million up front, not the 0.6% that Rudy Giuliani paid his “secret” employees. Did anyone thank Bob Menendez for recovering 4 gold bars from a 2013 robbery? They might, had Bob divulged it. Would you believe that James Comer finally has got the goods on Joe, or Hunter, or anyone? It doesn’t matter, that’s not the point. Joan McCarter is here to report DC still sucks, mostly over in the House, but also in the Senate, where Tommy Tuberville demanded that something be done about the shameful obstruction of military promotions. At least Dick Durbin got to senate a bit. If Gops can’t figure out how to fund our nation, how do you think they are doing on Ukraine?

A relative of David Waldman makes it out to 104! Congratulations! That is quite an achievement, Donald Trump won’t be 104 until the year 2050. Old people remember so much. For instance, I can recall “2015”, back when I was a greenhorn summary writer, making only, oh… adjusting for inflation… well, anyhow back then I couldn’t understand how Donald Trump made it onto every KITM, before he had even won a single primary. Now I get it. Donald Trump is just so fun to talk about. Trump is always losing, every day, and Trump is always winning, every day. Trump is never “former”, he’s always with us, with 100% reliability. That reliability is why Donald Trump and the media are NOT in a F’ing “unlikely alliance” Their symbiosis is complete; they exist because of each other… and we crave it too, right? Every day. The problem is, everything Donald Trump touches turns to shit, and he hopes to reach all of us this next time. Back in 2017, David Frum told us that “Trump is a chaos agent. He threatens norms, doesn't care." No, wait, that was Greg Dworkin who said that! Now, David Frum, Jeffery Goldberg, and the New York Times are out there telling us what we had long known. Nikki Haley hasn’t got a chance, but let’s say that she does. It’s worth it, if only to see Ron DeSantis suffer. Nikki could be rising because Republicans are starting to see the danger of Trump, but nah, they like to see Ron lose too. Everyone is happy to see George Santos have more time to get his Christmas/Hanukkah-ish shopping done, but friends and acquaintances should be checking their wallets. If the absolutely completely improbable event of Donald Trump leaving our headlines ever occurs during our lifetime, don’t worry, there will always be some sex scandal involving moral authoritarians turning up. Don’t miss tomorrow’s exciting episode: “It’s Not Gay if It’s a Three Way” or “You’ll Never Bi until You Tri”!

David Waldman picked up a new Advent calendar to help keep track of his Hallmark movies this season. We’ll make a secret Santanist out of him yet! Speaking of Christians, Florida Gop Chair Christian Ziegler, and his wife, Moms for Liberty co-founder Bridget Ziegler... like another woman very, very much, but Christian seems to also like raping, and being mean, which makes everyone sad and angry. The Zieglers and probably their (Formally?) really good friend don’t like children reading about such things… and kissing… so they take kid’s books away. Lucky for kids, a good Penguin will never let that happen! Moms for America Action invites Donald Trump to join them under the comforter. If women’s attitudes don’t shift, rural white hate-nerds will need to find someone other than “women” to have sex with. In war, those things guys get away with, they get away with a lot more. Rape has always been a weapon to choose from. Too bad Hamas exercised “the perfect deception”, and picked a bunch of anti-right hippies to attack, giving Israel no choice but to blow Palestine smithereens into much tinier pieces. At least this means job security for Israeli soldiers with autism. Estonia joins Finland in dropping an iron curtain on Russia. Georgie we hardly knew ye, but who’d want to? Sandra Day O’Connor will be in history textbooks also. Meanwhile, a Trump dictatorship is becoming increasingly inevitable. Who could ever stop him? Well, good governing would. Dick Durbin discovered that the rules aren’t there just for Republicans. Republicans hate those kinds of rules! Scott Perry did not want anybody looking at his cellphone. In retrospect, that totally makes sense.

David Waldman and Greg Dworkin pay their respects to, well, they’ll think of something nice to say for two hours. Donald Trump will be 100 years old midway through 2046... A lot of people did get very old waiting for Henry Kissinger to finally die, although he did give obit writers extra time to think up something positve. George Santos wants the haters to know that he still has a lot of life left in his career. Santos is probably lying, but he does have at least until Friday for his expulsion. That’s because… wait! Did someone say “legislative process”? David devotes a segment to exactly what constitutes privileged business on the House floor. Twitter is taking much too long to die. More hostages, dead and alive, will be released by Hamas today. It would be nice if it all happened more quickly, but President Joe Biden has to negotiate with Israel, and members of his own party to make things happen. Republicans want to pair border security with aid for Ukraine. That is totally unreasonable, purposely so. Great minds think alike, and Vladimir Putin thinks funneling migrants into Finland in order to weaken it and its security along the border is a fun troll. At least the dollar’s down. That’s supposed to be... good, isn’t it? And the Dow’s way up. That’s also supposed to be good!

It is the middle of the week on KITM. David Waldman is just getting into his holiday cold. Greg Dworkin is just getting out of his. George Santos says he doesn’t care about being expelled. (He’s lying.) Many in Congress have reasons why they can’t expel Santos. (They’re lying.) No lie, George will be in the history books. The House is reaching the conclusion of their Biden impeachment “inquiry”… they just haven’t “announced” it yet. Hunter Biden wants all of this in public view. David points to Powell v. McCormack, 395 U.S. 486 (1969), referring to Article III, Section 2, Clause 1 of the Constitution. If you are like me, you’re hoping for a badly animated cartoon to explain everything right about now. The economy has grown more than anyone previously estimated. 3 in 5 say that the Gop and Trump favor the wealthy and big corporations over regular folk. Unfortunately, regular folk still think everything is worse than it is. And yet, Joe’s polls are turning around. It could be because of the great job President Biden has done so far in negotiating the Israel-Hamas pause. It could be gas prices.  Bibi Netanyahu isn’t a big Biden fan, as he prefers anti-Semites. Mike Pence chose the rare normal ethical path on January 6, and it looks as if he wandered back onto the trail with his agreement to snitch on his friend Donald. Will Gops be so relieved to see the Trump train careen off the trestle, that they will slide over to Nikki Haley? Will Donald take Nikki’s mojo by making Nikki VP? Or should Haley wait until someone better comes along? The Georgia Bureau of Investigation released 400 pages of not-so-much on the Coffee County caper. It almost makes one nostalgic for big dummies Rick Perry and George W. Bush.

It’s Giving Tuesday today. Remember, money won’t bring you happiness, but only pennies a day can help David Waldman become quite cheerful. Won’t you help? Joan McCarter was unable to pop in today, but don’t worry, the government is still going to hell. Donald Trump hopes to use the insurrection act to send the military into cities in order to quell Democrats and democracy. Presidents don’t usually want to be the guy who sent tanks rolling down Main Street. Of course, Donald has always wanted to be that guy. Is Tommy Tuberville smart enough to block military confirmations in order to aid Trump? Absolutely not, but still... Trump can’t tell his BS from Russian BS, because why would he bother? He’s got people to sort that out. If Trump wasn't an officer of the United States, why wasn’t security called to escort him out of that office? Mike Pence almost forgot his oath of office on January 6th, until his son reminded him. Pence is now the top official to have spoken to Jack Smith. You know, Mike didn’t mean to put that comma in his book, and you know Jack Smith would catch that detail. Ron DeSantis assures everyone that he can lose to Donald Trump just fine, even without Nikki Haley’s donors, but without Ron in power the Florida surgeon general will have difficulty double dipping in his state.

David Waldman and Greg Dworkin are back with a special post- and pre-holiday KITM Cybercast: Why are we spending time figuring out what to do with leftovers, when we really need to start trading recipes and begin eating the rich? Because now it’s a who eats who first world, and the super-rich are lining up at the head of the chow line. Was Donald Trump selling pardons because he needed the money, or was he investing in his future? One joy money can’t buy is watching Republicans eat each other. Donald Trump not only hates America; he wants it to hurt, really bad. The Atlantic moves up a couple notches on Trump’s list. Ron DeSantis wants a piece of that sweet fascism, but alas, he’s losing support. Many have left through the endless scandals, others through… attrition. Not-so news: An Iowan sentenced for mass voter fraud is Republican. The leader of a far-right Catholic organization is revealed to have done "horrible, ugly things". After five 'extremely excruciating' weeks of talks, Israel and Hamas have decided to hold off on killing and being killed for another two days. Good news being brought to you by President Joe Biden. Not that Joe would mention it though. He’s not the kind to brag. If you think all this has hurt Biden in the polls, you should see Bibi’s.

David Waldman isn’t about to let us go into this weekend uninformed, even if today is in the middle of that weekend. When holiday shopping don’t… Actually, never, ever trust a Republican to save you money. Thanksgiving, the Fourth of July, Halloween, Talk Like a Pirate Day, are all holidays to be concerned about having an AR-15 aimed at you. The recent Louisville bank mass shooter shot people to show how easy it was for someone like him to shoot people. Some guy killed a guy for blocking his stroller, and recorded it on his camera. Remember that Beavercreek, Ohio Walmart where a Black guy was killed by police for carrying a toy gun in the toy department? Now, a mass shooter thought that same Walmart would be the best place to shoot some Black people. You don’t need to shoot masses of people to enrage the Irish, it turns out that they draw the line at just hurting children. Imagine a central income distribution institution...It’s easy if you try, but also easy to imagine some pitfalls. The Pennsylvania school board ousted after it banned books, Pride flags and transgender athletes tried to slip a quick $700,000 into the pocket of a Superintendent friend of theirs. Local voters, however, are not his friends. If Marjorie Traitor Greene and Mike Lee keep up their stupid Jan 6 hooha, people might start to lose respect for them. Precedent is seen as only a temporary hurdle by the Trump Supreme Court. Reality is seen as only a temporary hurdle by Donald Trump. Ace KITM Correspondent Rosalyn MacGregor reveals another reason not to vote in MAGA candidates, as wingnuts do tend to appoint even wingnuttier functionaries. 

Happy T-Day! We did it live, despite it all, because we had to bring you the BREAKING NEWS… that wingnuts were freaked out about some people who went to a KISS concert and crashed their car! Then, it was on to our favorite trend: newspapers becoming willing to print that Trump is crazy. Also worth noting: other politicians in the world are similarly crazy, and are said to have “won elective office.” Today in Every Republican Accusation is a Confession™ news: Harlan Crow’s brother is a super-perv.* (*Allegedly.) One of the many right-wing nudnik partners in the infamous Trump 2025 “plan” has been collecting beaucoup bucks from ostensibly liberal sources. In TFG courtroom news: Trump is throwing everything his lawyers can think of into a firehose of motions to dismiss. And in a shocking development, it turns out that Trump does have some lawyers who can put on a decent show. In appellate court, anyway. What’s that like?

Happy Food Prep Day! David Waldman and Greg Dworkin lay down their spatulas to dish up some news. Everyone should be thankful that Fox News isn’t in charge of their Thanksgiving budget.  Macy’s Thanksgiving Day Parade promises to be a Nonbinary and Transgender Extravaganza — plus featured guests Bell Biv DeVoe, Brandy, U.S. Olympic silver medalist Jordan Chiles and the legendary Radio City Rockettes! The giant Stephen Miller balloon has been cancelled, however. Steve KG Bannon says, No! You’re the fascists! Donald Trump adds that to the list of vermin he will need to annihilate. The press wonder what that means for “Trump vs. Biden ‘24” ™ The Wisconsin supreme court may strike down legislative maps to end Republican dominance. Democrats have made gains in many elections this year. Republicans will need to move quickly to make none of that matter. President Joe Biden is thankful for the success of the US-lead deal to release 50 hostages from Hamas. No matter how many are backing the deal, it isn’t over until those hostages are back home. Meanwhile, their families continue to wait. Of course, it is not as simple as that. The families of the hostages are spurring anger for caring about their families too much. Here and around the world the “kidnapped” poster feuds rage on. Iranians have become desensitized to the question of Palestine.

The crew here at KITM World Headquarters has been working hard to look busy as we head into our mid-week holiday. Good thing Joan McCarter is here to distract David Waldman with the latest DC news. Israel and Hamas indicate they are heading towards a deal. Of course, one person’s ceasefire might be another’s unconditional surrender. Even inside Israel, someone willing to do anything to rescue a family member can be seen as a traitor to their country. As Donald Trump becomes worse, so does America, so then who wouldn’t expect Republicans to try to keep up? (Gops know better now, but they knew better then too.) Now that the government is funded, the next item on the Republican House agenda is getting rid of their Speaker for allowing the government to become funded. Meanwhile the Senate will be addressing aid to Ukraine. Tommy Tuberville dimly realizes the hole he’s in, and hopes that someone figures out a way to get him out. A ‘faith-based’ leader of Moms for Liberty in Philly turns out to be a registered sex offender! 

As he did yesterday for today David Waldman preps us today for tomorrow. We’ll make do for Sunday. TikTok influencer Osama Bin Laden went viral this week with a pretty on-brand “Letter to America”. Does this mean that our youths now think it’s “cool” and “hip” to be antisemitic terrorists?  No, it does not. Unfortunately, it might start a couple on that path, as the most susceptible follow their ignorant bliss/rage down an exponentially reinforcing algorithm echo chamber, passed to them by the invisible hand of the free market. An hour of Google and ten minutes of typing made internal decapitant Marlene Bourne a Fox News superstar, gaining and forfeiting hundreds of millions of dollars for thousands of people.  The Gop Congress can’t become too stupid for their constituency. However, it is possible for them to not become stupid enough. Ace KITM Correspondent Rosalyn MacGregor points out the pitfalls in electing Rightwing nut-balls to positions of authority. Ottawa County Michigan’s incoming wingnuts thought that the wholesale elimination of political enemies would be easier than it turned out to be. If you want your peace protest to be peaceful, yet irritating as heck, check out the Arab Resource and Organizing Center’s work on the San Francisco-Oakland Bay Bridge. That’s not Frank Zappa! It’s Steve Sittig with a report on Donald Trump’s already quite successful plan to bamboozle the news media on where he stands with abortion. It’s where Trump stands on anything… wherever it gets him the most.

David Waldman and Greg Dworkin are here with another KITM. No one can explain exactly why they do it, but it works really well for the rest of us.  If you see ghost busses in your neighborhood, who you gonna call...Clay Higgins? That's what happens when you elect online trolls to Congress. Chip Roy looked at the Republican party and finds nothing of interest. Marjorie Traitor Greene looked at Republican crotches and has come to a similar conclusion. They could be right. When the going got tough yesterday, the Gops got going. Like Donald Trump, they talk really big, and act really small. Before they ran away, the House Ethics Committee did leave a negative review of George Santos. This hurt George’s feelings, so he promised not to hang out with those guys anymore. (He’s probably lying.) If you are a crazy moron under the influence of other crazy morons, is that a good legal defense? Look it up! In front of the DNC headquarters, protesters assault and get assaulted for peace. Israeli forces shoot people right in the hospital. Speaking of AR-15s, the Washington Post assembled a comprehensive multi-media article on exactly what they are capable of. If TFFG is elected president and then he’s disqualified from being president, it would be pretty frustrating. Right now, Trump lawyers don’t feel the love in New York and don’t want to do the trial anymore. Meanwhile, two or three universes over, President Joe Biden continues presidenting with perfect competence. It’s still the pandemic, stupid. It’s also the economy too. but the messaging shouldn’t be just for the smart people. What’s weird is that only 77% of Jewish voters are wise to Trump.

Greg Dworkin was back today, and as usual, he had a whole slew of stories to share. There was, of course, TFG’s descent into the darkest fascistic rhetoric (reminiscent of Mussolini more so than Hitler, ackshully), all in service of Stephen Miller’s evil immigration fantasies and his own greedy desire for power without restraint. Critics say this may not be wonderful. And if that’s not bad enough, he also continues to dare the judges in his cases to rein him in. Polls! Who needs ‘em? Well, a year out from the election, you probably don’t. We have results from the off-year elections, though. And they may be telling us that the thing Republicans thought would work for them the way abortion actually worked for us… didn’t work for them. But they might have gotten away with it, if it hadn’t been for those meddling kids! Not that Republicans are suddenly going to let the results of elections stop them. Let’s you and him fight! And also, you and him! Why didn’t the right-wing challenge to affirmative action generate the same intensity of backlash that the right-wing challenge to abortion and reproductive rights did? Of course, neither Nancy Mace doesn’t know whether to spray paint anti-MAGA or anti-”moderate” graffiti on her own sidewalk these days. Rudy Colludy[‘s collaborators are being] charged with treason! Every Republican accusation is a confession™: The Burisma edition. How do you get a cease fire as between an immovable object and and irresistible force?

It’s Tuesday, time for David Waldman to welcome Joan McCarter to KITM. Also about time for a government shutdown, an almost as regular occurrence.  MAGA Mike Johnson’s plan to avoid shutdown is generally less awful than it is awful to MAGA, and it sure beats a shutdown, so Democrats will probably get it done for him. The House Gops are even pulling back on their Mayorkas impeachment stunt, for now. Or, at least they pulled Marjorie Traitor Greene off it for a moment.  The Supreme Court has adopted a code of ethics, which they claim to have always had, and which they themselves will police, which everyone knows they never have. Meanwhile, while Donald Trump basks in the glow of smiling New York faces, in Georgia his ex-minions cheerfully recounted those good times back when they were taking over the United States. The Pastor indicted with Trump won’t be taking a plea deal, as he expects the Lord will provide… parishioners to pay for it all. Ukraine is charging Rudy Colludy Giuliani’s top local colluder with treason.

David Waldman has wanted to tell you so many things over this weekend! Luckily, he has a podcast.  Greg Dworkin remains on assignment in an undisclosed location. But had he’d been here today he would have beseeched us to discuss Donald Trump’s recent, past, and continuous wackadoodletry. On veteran’s day, Commander Bone Spurs served up plans for mass deportation, Muslim bans, concentration camps and freedom cities, the usual stuff, but added an extra helping of grated Mussolini on top, by promising to exterminate Democrat vermin, or something like that. Any snowflakes who missquote will find their entire existence crushed. And that kids, is why we need another Biden vs. Trump election. That’s only what his MAGA followers require... just one more election to straighten everything out. Previously, Trump’s loyal “body guy” forged orders for a world-wide military withdrawal, out of loyalty. Mike Johnson can’t get his class to play well with each other, let alone behave in public. Marjorie Traitor Greene says Lauren Boebert picked a rough road to ho… how does that idiom go again? Anyhow, most Republicans won’t be asking Marge to give them a well-calloused hand either. In the Gop primary, Tim Scott announced that he will retire to spend more time with his girlfriend. Jacob Chansley will run for Congress, but would double his votes if he did it in makeup. Ohio Republicans decided to pick the “will of God” over the “will of the voters”, because they can’t just make up what the “will of the voters” is. The pastor indicted with Trump in Georgia realized that his pastoral duties included felonies. Certainly his Evangelical flock will soon be hearing a voice or two suggesting what they should do next. Secret Service agents protecting Joe Biden’s granddaughter opened fire amid a car break-in, but everyone, including the thieves, are ok. KITM Senior Storyteller/Correspondent  Darwin Darko presents a parable for our time concerning David (the other one) and the weakness of power.

We’ve been busy since Tuesday parsing the polls and combing over the data, but now it’s time to groove on the vibes of the election. And basically, it’s this: Everybody is sick of these wackadoodle idiots. (So sick, in fact, that even where there are elected seats all but reserved for Republicans, they still can’t win them.) The wackadoodle idiots, of course, have learned nothing whatsoever, though their consultants think they have. But those guys are just egghead coastal elites! So, let’s stay crazy! Speaking of staying crazy, it takes a special kind of crazy to buy into Lady MAGA World. And yes, some of these ladies do have that special kind of crazy. In other news, there are more 14th Amendment cases underway, challenging Trump’s ability to appear on the ballot. It’s not just Colorado. It’s also Michigan and Minnesota, for instance. Speaking of Michigan, frequent contributor Rosalyn MacGregor is back with the latest foibles of the state Gop. And new contributor Seth Chipman joined in to share the latest foibles of the California wing of the “constitutional sheriff” wackadoodles, with cameos from Jeff Sessions and John Eastman!

It’s Thursday on KITM, and David Waldman and Greg Dworkin aren’t even the least bit sick of winning. Democrats are still tallying up their wins from Tuesday, right down to the small towns, local elections and school board races. It is, however, hard to separate the Dem’s big wins from the Gop’s devastating losses. Republicans are reaping a horrible ROI on their culture war. Glenn Youngkin now has a warehouse full of red fleece vests that he doesn’t know what to do with. (He might be able to unload some on JD Vance.) 5 Republicans are still brawling to come in second to Donald Trump. (It doesn’t matter to Donald, they’re all number two to him.) Now, Leroy Jenkins will yell “Viiiiveeeek Ramaswamy!” before enthusiastically dooming everyone to failure. In 1619 the first enslaved Black people arrived in Virginia. Now, 404 short years later, Del. Don Scott might become Virginia's first Black Speaker of the House. Meanwhile, over in Michigan, Gop election conspiracy loon/Chairwoman Kristina Karamo might soon lose her position, once her party closes its offices. All of this would seem to reduce the chances of TFFG becoming the next guy in office. That would be a good thing, as Donald Trump’s plan to destroy the United States just might succeed, and that would be a bad thing.

The collective sigh of relief here at KITM World Headquarters probably delayed our first local snowfall by weeks. Host David Waldman and Guest Star Greg Dworkin are here today to do whatever the opposite is of “fret” … (We might not have a word for that.)   We won. That is, we the people of the United States who care about democracy and what not. Dems romped, Gops flopped, pretty much everywhere, notably in Ohio, as voters knew Republican gaslighting by heart after seeing it being used to failure in state after state before them. Freedom and liberty continue to reign as the Buckeye State turns a new leaf. Ohio Republicans pledge to continue to fight freedom, liberty and the rights of individuals until their last breaths. Virginia won big by helping Glenn Youngkin lose big. Loudoun County of course did their state proud. Even Pennsylvania triumphed and extended their Democratic majority.   Pundits wonder if all this winning should worry Joe Biden and embolden Donald Trump, and someone continues to pay them. Someone keeps paying House Republicans also, including even Marjorie Traitor Greene. At least Marge is out there proposing some staff cuts.    Republicans understand that the biggest obstacle to their governing would be democracy, and no one is more behind that idea than Donald Trump. George Stephanopoulos would like to know where people stand on this before his interviews.   Hey, now that you’re in a good mood, isn’t it a great time to consider donating to one or more grassroots campaigns as we head into the Big One next November?

If you listen to this show, or read these summaries, you want to vote today. You don’t need David Waldman and Joan McCarter to explain why.  (We’d be happy to, though. We kind of live for this stuff.) You don’t want Republicans to take over, or for the United States to become the next Israel, do you? The present bunch of Gops are already bad enough. The government continues to teeter on the edge of their fiscal cliff while MAGA Mike’s funding ladder to nowhere hangs out over the abyss. Perhaps the Senate “maxi-bus” can be loaded just right to save them all. Unfortunately for them and us, their man with a plan is an inexperienced zealot.  Meanwhile, the Senate has a brainless zealot to contend with. It’s either the military or Tommy Tuberville, and for some reason, they are still deciding… Donald Trump’s nonexistent credibility, coherence and control were tested in court yesterday. As usual, TFFG was so awful that people thought Donald might be motivated by intelligence. Nah, he was just the same old stochastic jerk-wad.

ELECTION DAY!  ...Is tomorrow. It is, however, the day that we will be talking about today, and tomorrow, and at least for a year to come. David Waldman and Greg Dworkin can barely talk about today, because tomorrow is just all that. Tomorrow is all that important, and yet a poll has got everyone’s mind on the next election. Yes, Joe Biden is in trouble, and yet Joe Biden knows what he’s doing,,, BUT! What can Biden do? Tomorrow’s election hasn’t even happened, but those pundits sure know doom when they see it. Of course, pundits see different things every day. How about if Donald Trump gets convicted? Will that matter? Probably as much as the 91 indictments did… What about Trump’s progressive dotardism? Meh, that’s part of his brand. Well, what about Donald’s plans to establish a fascist dictatorship and jail all of his enemies dating back to junior high? Yes, Trump has been doing that for a while now, and you know there are plenty of people who wish they could do that too. Once Republicans saw direct benefits to themselves and their families in Obamacare, they quit having a problem with it. The problem is that they see themselves as victims to so many things, that virtually anything not directly beneficial to them or their family is seen as a threat.  Hate and tribalism only leads to despair. The news media won’t be of any help, because they believe hate, tribalism and lying about it are just the unchanging backdrop to their reporting. Therefore, we are told that Trump’s “credibility, coherence and control” will be tested today in his fraud trial, when everyone knows that Donald has already failed and if that were the test TFFG would be long gone. Trump’s only goal ever is to destroy all other’s credibility, coherence, and control.

David Waldman hopes to beat the rush and start saving daylight later this afternoon, but first made sure to get today’s KITM out on time.   It’s simple. Mike Johnson is a moral Christian. And if you aren’t Christian, you aren’t moral, and you just wouldn’t “get” what he and supporters need to get done in the United States. Mike’s covenant wife Kelly can counsel you on the five ways that you are naturally inferior while work is being done to codify your status. Kelly could professor at Trump University II.   Donald Trump doesn’t have much faith in our justice system to keep him out of jail, but he still feels that he has a chance to bring it down to his level for a moment. That is why he is having his smartest lawyers out there doing the dumbest things and his dumber ones picking up the tab.   Our justice system won’t be keeping Sam Bankman-Fried out of jail either.   Donald Trump let Michael Jackson babysit his kids because who the hell cares about his kids?   Remember when stupidity in politics was frowned upon? Now it takes dozens of the smartest legal minds to sidestep the nation’s dumbest Senator.

David Waldman wishes us a soulful All Souls Day, also known as… erm, Eastern Orthodox “Saturday of Souls”… Greg Dworkin has no holiday plans other than hanging out with us this morning. Not that there’s nothing to celebrate. Unions are back in a big way with the U.A.W. scoring huge wins for regular workers and a huge defeat for faux-populist demagogues.  The House finds it isn’t so easy to scrape George Santos off their shoe, and they’re stuck with Miss Congeniality, Marjorie Traitor Green as well. Ken Buck has completely run out of double-talking straight-shooting. Republicans finally had enough with pretending they don’t have a problem with Tommy Tuberville and are joining Democrats in an attempt to break through Tuberville’s anti-military blockade. At least Tommy still has Ron DeSantis behind him. Of course, Ron is a little hard to see back there. What does Mike Johnson have against banks? Mike was once a Dean of a Christian law school, but not enough people believed in it. Just wait until Christians find out their marriages don’t qualify either. The Gop plan to offset Israel funding with increasing debt and the deficit isn’t going over so well.  Healthcare activist Ady Barkan has died at 39 but made a big impression while he was here. Bobby Knight, who showed Donald Trump that some jerks just can’t lose support, has died at 83. Vlad Putin remains undead. Bibi Netanyahu might be healthy, but his days are still numbered. Boris Johnson is okay but might not pass an EEG test. RFK Jr. is no JFK Jr., but he can help kick Trump’s ass. KITM Correspondent John J. Ronald is here to help guide the Texas vote.

First of the month, middle of the week, and David Waldman is here to explain how that happened, and more! Greg Dworkin flipped over his calendar page and noticed that election day is next week. The prognostication out there is foggier than usual, but it looks as if Democrats are doing well.  Dems have two big governor races in Trump states, tough but doable. Kyrsten Sinema is at a distant third, but at least she seems to be taking Kari Lake votes. Democrats want to see Joe Biden give ‘em hell. Republicans don’t care, about anything, but least of all any reality regarding Donald Trump. Trump allies plan to make any reality just seem like a wistful dream once they are back in control. How stupid can Glenn Youngkin voters be?  We’ll find out next week. Democrats can now point to Mike Johnson as the “after” picture on what government looks like following a MAGA takeover. Mike Johnson is the kind of guy who would be sentencing Kelly Johnson to burn at the stake, back in the day. Republicans manufactured a "crisis" and now they are ready to exploit it. Of course, already a few veins have run dry. James Comer is closing his Biden impeachment probe now that the money is tapering off. Even Trump’s protection racket isn’t what it used to be.

Horrors! David Will-o'-the-Wisp Waldman, dressed as “MAGA Mike” and Joan Macabre McCarter as a “Looming Government Shutdown”, scare the bejeebers out of us for two hours. Mike Johnson is going full MAGA on Democrats, but also Senate Republicans and Ukraine with his Israel funding bill. After picking up a Bible, Mike realized the ONE THING that has caused all of the evil and suffering in the world and… could it be… Satan? Nope, it’s actually all due to women who won’t listen to their husbands… or potential husbands... or guys who should be their husband. Mike’s wife obviously knows what’s good for her, and clearly what’s wrong with you. Johnson is set to start sacrificing heretics this week. Democrats, meanwhile, still play by the rules. They just need to go deep to find and use the rules they need. Hey, what happened to that recession we were promised? Ron DeSantis claimed that he ran guns out of Florida to Israel, which is a weird, easily disprovable lie and probably illegal. Is Ron acting a little too big for his britches? Nah, Ron probably wears lifts in his britches too. West Michigan is about a step away from erecting statues to MAGA terrorists.

Boo! David “Cobweb” Waldman and Greg “Disconcerting” Dworkin treat us with a Halloween Eve KITM Special. Be safe! How hard can it be? Want to talk scary? Let’s talk Mike Johnson. The thing is, nothing scares Mike Johnson. Ask Johnson any question you want, and between the Lord and the law, Mike can find the answer he needs and make it fit. Ken Buck likes Mike’s law answers, Mike’s mom and WaPo like his Lord answers. How long will MAGA and Republicans like Johnson’s answers? Who knows, but don’t expect faith nor ethics to become major factors in their decisions. Meanwhile President Joe Biden is taking care of business, for this generation and the future’s. If Joe isn’t on the top of everyone’s list, he should be. Dean Phillips won’t beat Biden even in New Hampshire, where Biden won't be on the ballot. Of course, Malcom X has been resurrected as a White Christian Republican Troll. Glenn Youngkin cares enough about voting rights to restore voter rolls in the slowest most ineffective method anyone could come up with. Court arguments begin on blocking Trump from the presidential ballot under the ‘insurrection’ clause. Donald is spread pretty thin at the moment but will help out in any way that he can.

Today David Waldman serves up your KITM Friday Special, fresh out of our news fryolator.  Mike Johnson might not be the “unity candidate” most would have come up with, but considering his dogmatism, election denialism, misogynism, authoritarianism, provincialism, fanaticism and mass shooter boosterism, Mike maintains a comprehensive appreciation of Republicanism. Some of Mike’s best friends might not be Black, but his son, who was born less than 10 years after his wife, is.  Mike sends his hopes and prayers in the general direction of the well-regulated militia still at large somewhere in Maine. Washington DC vagrant George Santos might have somehow found the line he would have to cross to embarrass the Gop, but probably not. Marjorie Traitor Greene forced a vote on a measure censuring Rashida Tlaib but didn’t have to force Democrat Becca Balint to motion for her censure. Mo Brooks begged like a dog with tears in his eyes for a pardon for his insurrection. KITM Senior Haitian Correspondent, and President Emeritus of the KITM Fugees Fan Club, Darwin Darko can now be found on Blue Sky, and on today’s show reacting to the incredible trouble Pras Michel has found himself in, and the incredibly stupid way his previous lawyers attempted to get him out of trouble. Meanwhile, Democrats once again turn to Savior of the Senate Kyrsten Sinema in their battle to defeat Tommy Tuberville.

Here we go again. Let’s join David Waldman, Greg Dworkin and the whole KITM gang under a cloud of another mass shooting. 18 dead so far, as the shooter is still a well-regulated militia out there somewhere. Dude seems to have plenty of personal demons. Some were handed to him, most he hooked up with on his own. Tucker Carlson has been looking for him for years, but may have missed his chance for an interview. David held his first in a series of debates with wannabe podcasting kingpin Mike Johnson. Oh yes, this is the same Mike Johnson who won an election recently. Elections Mike wins are the only ones Mike approves of. Well, his elections, and You-Know-Who’s, which is how he got the job, and definitely how he plans to keep it. In the meantime, Mike has a lot on his plate, but mostly plans to go medieval on American society... however in the most sincere and reasonable way, a tactic Democrats have no defense against, lest the media frown upon their un-niceness. (As with the mass shooter killing spree, there is an Elon connection.) How about Clarence Thomas, what has Elon Musk done for him recently? Probably a lot more than forgiving a quarter million-dollar RV loan, that’s for sure. Meanwhile, Bidenomics is winning, Trump is losing, onward to tomorrow!

The Wednesday KITM can’t come soon enough today. Coast to Coast, people are demanding to know, “Who is Tom Emmer?” and “Does Tom have what it takes to pull this nation out of...” Wait… Wait. The KITM control room is contacting me to say… David Waldman and Greg Dworkin will now address the turmoil that Democrats have caused through their insensitive attitudes for their brother’s and sister’s plight... For now, the Republican House Speaker nominee will be held by a generic MAGA placeholder who they will refer to as “Mike Johnson”. The “Mike Johnson” that the Gop hopes to drag across the finish line is actually based on a real-life pro-insurrection, anti-democratic, White Christian nationalist jerk. Johnson was part of the legal muscle fighting the separation of church and state. Republicans don’t want to hear about that, they don’t want to hear about anything at the moment… Anyhow... Congratulations! Meanwhile, everyone around TFFG is flipping while the flipping’s good. Michael Cohen was a little late but is now making up for lost time. Jenna Ellis and Mark Meadows would be wise to flip now, but only time will tell if they are that wise. We say so long to the author of the first “Don’t Say Gay” law, Joe Harding. There will be a lot Harding shouldn’t say where he’s going.

David Waldman and Greg Dworkin present Monday’s KITM, free of any beat sweeteners, containing only their naturally occurring sugars. Jim Jordan reminds some people of a wrestler. The kind of wrestler who looked the other way when fellow wrestlers were victimized. The kind of wrestler who insurrected against the United States in 2020. But not the kind of wrestler that anyone would elect as Speaker of the House. Ruptured rudderless Republicans sure could use a leader, or even some followers right about now. Donald Trump is who they have. Now that Donald doesn’t have the Kraken, he says he never wanted her in the first place. Tom Emmer is next into the Speaker barrel. Tom is the least awful choice because Trump and Trumpers don’t like him. Billionaire Anthony Pratt, who looks like a slightly smaller Trump with a bit more B vitamins in his urine-colored hair, went on 60 Minutes Down Under to blab more on the secrets Trump blabbed to him. Remember Mike Pence? Mike couldn’t fill a Pizza Ranch if he was passing out coupons. Remember Elon Musk? How can we forget him if he doesn’t go away? Florida believes universities could be so much better if they just didn’t talk about so much stuff.

Is there a doctor Speaker in the House? Nope! Not yet. And it doesn’t look like they want to let the Acting Jerk Pro Tem take care of business for them, either. There’s certainly less appetite for Gym Jordan than ever before, too. Maybe because his people are deplorable. Meanwhile, The Current Guy was taking care of business, with what was by most reports a real humdinger of an Oval Office address. That’s no malarkey! But that’s not to say there isn’t any malarkey to be found. As we heard yesterday, the Kraken has cracked. And now she’s just flat guilty. Cheseboro’s next. In case you didn’t know, that’s bad for TFG. And it’s not just the Georgia defendants pleading out, either. How about a couple wacky stories to close out the day? Peter Thiel is a vampire FBI informant. And so is fossilized “Rage Furby” Chuck Johnson, whom I think we all thought was maybe dead or something! And speaking of the FBI, tech weirdos and clandestine-type activities, Cory Doctorow wants us to know that cops, spies and tech bros have one thing in common: they love surveillance. Lastly — and as a weekend assignment — have you ever wondered just WTF is going on with The Epoch Times?

Don’t be concerned, the Virginia/DC area is still standing this morning. That was just David Waldman and Greg Dworkin’s “Hey, Where Did the Last Half Hour Go?” KITM Special’s special ending. That missing show segment would have gotten more done than DC at the moment. The only ones who can stand the job ruptured rudderless Republicans are doing are Republicans, and what do they know? Jim Jordan is sent back to the lockers, after losing the House Speaker vote that no one ever believed that he would win, especially Jim Jordan. That was only a play for the rubes, at least the rubes who are even aware of who Jordan is. Unfortunately, rubes that smart can become pretty dangerous. Whether dangerous or uniformed, Republican rube money all spends the same.  Steve Scalise might have thought Gym was going to win there for a moment, but he has guys who take care of things. Anyhow, what would Steve do with two jobs? Kenneth Chesebro and Sidney Powell wanted a speedy trial in Georgia, and Sidney kraken both of their trials up by pleading guilty today.

Isn’t it time for Jim Jordan to just throw in the towel and hit the showers? Well... not in so many words. But that’s why we have David Waldman and Greg Dworkin. David and Greg do have so many words, which they have deftly laid end to end to create today’s KITM. Sean Hannity insists that Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez somehow had the power to frighten Republicans away from voting for Jim Jordan as House Speaker, but maybe the real reason is that moderate Republicans can only squish so far before they explode. It turns out that the Hard Right might not be the saviors Elise Stefanik prayed they would be. Donald Trump rants and raves like a lunatic, because he is one. If only he wasn’t such a dangerous lunatic though. Donald knocked off a few Russians but never got Christopher Steele for that dossier. If only Trump had hidden in a few refrigerators when he was younger… Soon we might not have Vivek Ramaswamy to kick around, which is too bad, the guy seemed pretty kickable. President Joe Biden, putting out fires around the world, stopped off at hotspot Israel. The Gop’s secret to protecting gerrymandered electoral maps is to say that it is a secret. School boards have an easier time teaching about racism, as long as it is” history”.

Today on KITM, David Waldman andJoan McCarter count down the days until the government shutdown, which if Jim Jordan gets to be House Speaker will be assured, if we make it that far. Ruptured, rudderless Republicans don’t really want to go with Jordan, but that seems to be the direction that they are heading. (With their hearts and minds in tow, of course.) Gym isn’t the guy Republicans want. He isn’t the guy they need. He might not even be the one they get. But they shouldn’t expect Democrats toride to their rescue for nothing. Not that they would ask for help, as they are being told that they are winning. If news organizations need help in accurate framing, Greg Dworkin has an opinion to share. (Need a second opinion? How about another one?) President Joe Biden heads to Israel to discuss their war with Gaza. Tagging along with Joe are thousands of US troops and their military equipment... which will doubtlessly be utilized in no way that would endanger anyone or further embroil the United States in any way. Have you heard about how the amount of fentanyl confiscated at the border proves how open our borders are? Well good news! The Virginia National Guard spent $2 million and could not find a single deadly gram on their Texas field trip. First, they came for light bulbs and gas stoves, now our refrigeratormagnets won’t work anymore!

David Waldman soothes our post-Friday-the-13th jitters with his elixir of useful information. Greg Dworkin is also here with the pundits and polls, though not just any poles, but Pole polls. Opposition leader Donald Tusk... no, you read that right, Donald Tusk has declared victory in Poland, which is a defeat for Law and Justice, but a victory for the Gay Empire, women, and most everybody else. The Hamas attacks on Israel might finally, finally, finally shake Bibi Netanyahu’s authoritarian rule. OG presidential nitwit George W. Bush has some advice on how to handle the Middle East.  House Republicans remain ruptured. If anyone were hoping to destroy the country, picking Jim Jordan for House Speaker would be the no-brainer choice, perhaps the most no-brainer choice. Gym’s got Sean Hannity’s vote, but pretty much no one else would be happy if he got in. That’s why Jordan’s campaign has apparently decided that “happy” votes would not be prioritized. George Santos ran through a House office screaming, clutching a baby that he claimed wasn’t his “yet”. Scott Waldman (No, David is not my father… yet.) reports that West Virgina Governor Jim Justice’s coal baron side hustle just isn’t what it used to be. Of course, Jim’s goofy finances won’t hinder his political career, according to Mark Blankenship, who isn’t the son of Mike Lindell Doppelgänger Don Blankenship... maybe. Mike “The Pillow” Lindell is also broke, but not as broke as Peter Navarro.  U.S. District Judge Tanya Chutkan has told Donald Trump to stuff a pillow in it. Ex-Trump Org. Allen Weisselberg got really quiet after Forbes Magazine reported on his perjury. Plenty of damning evidence, but no charges for the Border Patrol agents who shot and killed a Native American man outside his home.

David Waldman embeds his machete of veracity into the forehead of falsity on today’s special KITM. Fascists are supposed to run their trains on time, but the MAGA crazy train crashed before it could even depart from dysfunction junction. The Gop’s hand-picked fascist Steve Scalice bailed out of the House Speaker race once he realized that his 113 votes could never beat Jim Jordan’s 99.  With Jim Jordan on his own, the speaker position is now Gym’s to lose. But what would be the chaotic fun in that? And so, Donald Trump’s wandering eye now rests upon Elise Stefanik. Proud Boys and Moonies seem like strange bedfellows, until you see how much they both enjoy wielding their “rods of iron”. Meanwhile, it seems that Senator Bob Menendez has spent the last few years building a strong defense against any accusations of there ever being a two-tiered system of justice in the US.  Wisconsin’s Republican Assembly leader, Robin Vos is still thirsty for a Janet Protasiewicz impeachment, but most Gop authoritarians have moved on to other hijinks, including gerrymandering their state into partisan archipelagos.

It’s finally here! David Waldman and Greg Dworkin present our Septennial KITM October-Friday-the-13th-Eve Special! Republicans are still in rupture, eliminating much of their capacity for cruelty and fatuity. Therefore, in order to return to a more efficacious ineptitude, they chose Steve Scalice as a speaker nominee. However, being who they are, they couldn’t resist kneecapping Scalice out of the gate. Being who he is isn’t exactly helping Steve “David Duke” Scalice either. Radical White Christian nationalism isn’t a dealbreaker for Republicans, though, and neither is laying a half million-dollar steak tab on taxpayers. Nancy “Alvin” Mace shows that you can spend what you want as long as you release press handouts on your austerity. If Republicans want to get anything done (They don’t.) they can listen to what Hakeem Jeffries has to say. (They won’t.) Hamas used every means to terrorize Israel, and now things are going to become awful in Gaza, even compared to the last 75 years. As usual, President Joe Biden has had the correct response. As usual, Donald Trump is a dotard crackpot. Even Ron DeSantis (aka the “previous Nikki Haley”) is beginning to note TFFG’s latest degeneration. George Conway has a plan to make Donald crazy… Crazier? ...Craziest? Maybe even as crazy as his supporters? Those supporters made Charlie Kirk a millionaire. The Proud Boys were selling merch at the “Rod of Iron Freedom Festival” hosted by a Moonie AR-15 church. Criminal Ken Paxton says he will lodge criminal complaints against Texas state reps. If he does, their lawyers will press a criminal complaint against Paxton, and thus the cycle of life will go on.

Greg Dworkin came by to let us know that there’s no indication that House Republicans intend to rise to the occasion of the international crisis situation any time soon. But we already knew that. The order of the day, though, was for them to decide along what path they would f@#k things up next. And at least one outside group with a deep interest in the race to succeed McCarthy is speaking up, to say no to Gym Jordan. Oh, and also, Nancy Mace wanted to make sure you were looking at her. Probably sideeyed. And Tommy Tuberville… hmm, need a football analogy so he understands what I’m saying… let’s say, threw an ill-advised challenge flag. This even as he continues to screw several pooches with his… delay of game penalties. Then, there’s Israel. What a relief that we have a real president in office for this. Israel itself is not so lucky in that regard. But we don’t escape blame just because we’ve jettisoned our idiot. The international community is handling things laudably, too. Italy set off an irony meter or two, however. But it was still a nice effort. And in other, other news: One of Wisconsin’s own Republican former Supreme Court Justices says their impeachment idea is kinda wrong and dumb. And ProPublica says Leonard Leo’s ideas about the federal judiciary are, too. But it’s too late.

It’s Tuesday on KITM and whether you want it or not (and you want it) David Waldman and Joan McCarter are here to present the latest in news and opinion. Horrible things have been happening in Israel and Palestine, for Israelis and Palestinians, for quite some time now. But in the fog of war, where can you turn for valid, accurate information when even your favorite porn stars can’t be trusted? WELL NOT TWITTER. It’s no longer ethical nor sensible to share tweets anymore. Also, all the cool people have left. Cut it out. Blue checks are destroying the world, at least the bits they have contact with. Twitter has failed. Speaking of failures, look who’s trying to sneak back to work — previous interim House Speaker Kevin McCarthy! Right when Patrick McHenry was getting a feel for the gavel too. It’s only been a week but going back to Kev would feel like surrendering to the commies for MAGA. Whether Republicans are looking for MTG or AOC, Nancy Mace has got them covered. Meanwhile, Moms for Liberty is finding its talented clappers to be no match for authentic grassroots clapback. Florida is finally returning to releasing daily COVID-19 information. North Carolina Republicans are creating a “Secret Police Force”, while a St. Louis Cop sabotaged his own cases because he didn’t like the prosecutor.

David Waldman and Greg Dworkin would have brought us a great Indigenous Peoples' Day show today if only the world were just a better place. Israel was just minding its own business when it should have been minding the parapets and came under lethal assault by Hamas. A devastating attack, and a seeming surprise to the world’s most threatened nation. Thousands have been killed in horrific attacks and kidnappings. Thousands more will follow as Israel blows Palestine rubble to smithereens. Hamas turned into ISIS when too much peace was breaking out. Netanyahu also bears responsibility for allowing Hamas under the Iron Dome, though TFFG might have helped pound in the wedge. Of course, a bitter blame game will follow Israel’s wartime unity. (David supplied a Blue Sky “skeet” containing a link to a paywalled site which I simply screen grabbed, sent to myself via Messenger, downloaded as a PNG, and uploaded to Threads, voilà!) Republican ruptures are making any allies hoping for US assistance sweat, so is it up to Democrats to save America and the world yet again? Hakeem Jeffries believes the time is right for bipartisanship. Matt Gaetz likes the glass half-empty, and would dump it all, even if it means his ouster. (He might have something there.) At least political scientists can have fun experimenting. Just don’t ask Alexa. She can tell you, garbage in will get you garbage out. A Trump State Department official seems to be a white nationalist content creator. Who’d a thunk?

Friday on KITM, David Waldman guides our revolution into the weekend. We know that we are in good hands this weekend, with Senator Patty Murray once again second in the presidential line of succession. House rats are eating each other alive, but a couple might make it to Monday’s Fox News. We already know that Donald Trump has presented his rose to Jim “Gym” Jordan, however. Gym can certainly keep a secret better than cardboard box magnate Anthony Pratt.  Yet, Donald tells Anthony everything, including the number of warheads carried in US submarines, and their stealth capabilities.  Mike “Pillow” Lindell owes his lawyers millions of dollars. Mr. Pillow says he’s broke, but seriously, what does he know? Yes, lunatics do hold a lot of sway at moment, but rich lunatics have always had it going on, and plan to keep it that way. Poor loonies are still doing their part to help out though, yearning to make the Empire great again and by reestablishing true palingenetic ultranationalism (None of that fascism in name only for them!).  Generic shampoo and ugly shirt magnate Charles Haywood hopes to get into the burgeoning field of warlording before our apocalypse becomes post. Companies like Apple don’t require warlords however when they have Wi-Fi.  Donald hates name-brand shampoo, when he can wash his rug for cheap.

Our roll call vote to vacate the chair at KITM World Headquarters was roundly defeated this morning by David Waldman shrewdly bringing in a box of donuts for everybody. Plus, it’s Thursday, so Greg Dworkin is here and has much to tell us about many things. Voters say Kevin McCarthy shouldn’t have been ousted and don’t believe Democrats should have saved him. That pretty much leaves Kevin and the MAGA nimrods at fault for their recent fiasco. McCarthy double-crossed friend and foe alike, therefore it was logical to assume that he would continue if given a chance. For Dems, the decision was strictly business. As for the Freedom Caucus, they were handed a bazooka, and so of course the first place they’d aim it would be their head. A head isn’t really something they would miss after all. Now, the Problem Solvers have a problem, and if moderates could find any heads, they would certainly make them roll. Mitch McConnell and Lauren Boebert agree, mistakes were made. Matt Gaetz, Nancy Mace and Steve KG Bannon on the other hand ask what could be more reasonable than asking for an occasional government collapse? At least House Republicans won’t be trying anything that stupid again any time soon… Nope, they will be much more stupid next time. There’s always room there for more stupid. 2000 Mules finally goes to court, after doing as much damage as it could. Along the Texas border, counties are trying to make it illegal to even travel on their roads on the way to get an abortion. Idaho banned abortion, and it’s not a big supporter of pregnancy or births either. As news gets worse and worse for Bob Menendez, New Jersey’s first lady Tammy Murphy is popping up as a potential successor.

David Waldman and Greg Dworkin know best how to handle a slow news day, and ones like today as well. Make a nice cobb salad from that head of lettuce. Republican House Speaker Kevin McCarthy was way more interim than he imagined. Subletting his soul to many, while just subbing for the rest only worked for Kev for a while. Democrats could not trust him, and Donald Trump was bored. So, now the search is on for that elusive bottom from the top replacement. Good luck finding someone that pathetic... For now, they have Patrick McHenry, a guy who seems to be everything he looks like. That snippy little toy-congressman from North Carolina is busy today chasing Nancy Pelosi and Steny Hoyer out of his new offices, while his House sets up for their Lord of the Flies denouement. If Republicans really don’t want a leader, then Donald Trump is just the guy for the job. The Right are searching for their Red Caesar, but while Donald does have the look down, TFFG has moved well past that tiny ambition. Far-right sheriffs just might require a monarch, seeing that puny states are unable to control them anymore. The new communications chief at New College of Florida is out after just 2 months because New College isn’t interested in communicating. Up north where it’s sane, Canada’s House of Commons elected its first Black speaker.

If you thought David Waldman addressed all of the news that could possibly have been addressed on Monday, you would be correct. But the thing is, it’s Tuesday now. Our federal government has averted another shutdown and now we all will live happily ever after... Joan McCarter thinks perhaps not, as it is about 45 days, give or take a vacation break or two, before Republicans again have an opportunity to drag us off the cliff. Next time we might not have Kevin McCarthy to kick around anymore, or at least Kevin will have been kicked around several times by then. When Matt Gaetz signed up to burn it all down, he meant to burn it all down. Will the Democrats bring fire extinguishers or marshmallows?  Donald Trump thinks his fraud trial is a scam, so of course he is hoping to get a piece of the action. Trump’s attorney Alina Habba forgot to mark the blank to get Trump a jury trial, so as punishment she has to sit right next to him for a few days. Alina Habba… how does she do it?  Kari “yesterday’s news” Lake will have to work extra hard to keep Donald’s attention. Luckily for Kari, Trump still wants to win the 2020 election in Arizona. Clarence Thomas tossed out a recusal to throw the hounds off his scent in his escape from years of ethics charges. If only new temptations didn’t keep coming his way… Meanwhile, President Joe Biden announces $1.4 billion to improve rail safety and boost capacity in 35 states. That’s enough to make some Republicans act like progressive Democrats. Of course, their underlying motivations may differ...

Today, David “Sweet Potato” Waldman and Greg “Pumpkin Seed” Dworkin deliver a KITM cornucopia overflowing with news, punditry and leaf-blower roar. Well, the United States is still here today. Even Kevin McCarthy is here for a while as the Nutjob Caucus hasn’t yet worked out a deal with Democrats to oust him. Of course, McCarthy wouldn’t still be here without Democratic benevolence. Republicans really cannot destroy this Republic on their own, because they are too busy destroying themselves. David gives us his should-be-patented BTS analysis. Donald Trump’s fraud trial has barely commenced, and already Donald is demanding to speak to the maître d'. More aggravations are in store for TFFG. GOP senators will quit blocking Senator Dianne Feinstein now that she’s dead. Remember when Senator Feinstein took advantage of Larry Craig’s wide stance to kick a field goal? California Governor Gavin Newsom kept several promises to appoint Emily’s List President Laphonza Butler to fill the remainder of Feinstein’s term. The Nobel Prize in medicine did not go to Donald Trump this year, but rather to two scientists whose research helped fight the Covid-19 pandemic. And, Taylor Swift is going to football games. How will MAGA fight this onslaught of good news? If only they had a “Red Caesar” arrive to take everything over… Perhaps they already have someone in mind.

David Waldman is envious of the old Daily Show schedule. At least he’s not aiming for Rachel Maddow’s “any Monday that isn’t a holiday” timetable. Anyhow, we aren’t giving him either, he still has to come in on Fridays. Ace KITM Correspondent Rosalyn MacGregor reports on the continuing far-right takeover of Ottawa County, Michigan. They are battling COVID restrictions by cutting out half of the county health department budget. Senator Dianne Feinstein has died at 90. Feinstein, the longest-serving woman in the Senate, had a significant career in politics and will be fondly remembered by many, and not fondly remembered by a few who will be soon forgotten. Prison populations are aging out also, with the growing rate of inmate dementia raising questions of what the purpose is of housing criminals who don’t remember why they are there.  TFFG won’t try to move Georgia charges to federal court, so he must have something worse up his sleeve. Donald Trump is like a video game boss, it might take a thousand guilty verdicts to take him down, but it’ll be worth it to see the game end. As Donald himself will tell you, when that happens no one will be more heartbroken than the mainstream press. What Trump wants, Trump gets, and he really wanted that shiny new gun at the SC gun shop.  New Jersey Democratic Rep. Andy Kim has announced that he will run against Senator Bob Menendez. Daily Kos endorses Andy Kim. Bob Menendez is just out there fighting the Man. We have talked about Leonard Leo a lot, finally others might be also.  At least someone is enforcing the Senate dress code. The movie Killers of the Flower Moon tells the true story of the abuse and murder of Osage Nation people by White inhabitants. Spoiler alert: The white folks get away with it.

* Today, David Waldman and Greg Dworkin combine their talents to make Thursday everything you’d hope it to be, for two hours. TFFG is out of business, and all because of years and years of bank and insurance fraud. But isn’t that the art of the deal? Aren’t we all guilty of sometimes scoring a couple of billion dollars when no one is looking? Donald Trump, dishonest in all ways, will just have to take his dishonesty elsewhere. Yesterday Trump went to Michigan, gave some non-union members union signs, some non-auto workers auto worker signs, and went right on grifting. Joe Biden also went to Michigan, which many in the media will tell you is the same thing, because they want to keep their grift going as well. So do Republicans, who are succeeding in bringing Biden’s public image all the way down to Trump’s. This is quite an amazing feat for such incompetent boobs to pull off, but it helps that they are robust liars.  Republicans are somehow making the time to attack the President while endlessly fighting to destroy the United States. Of course, this requires a lot of lying also. And, it requires at least a few of them to understand procedure. Can they talk the Democrats into defeating the previous question to force a vote on their CR? What was the previous question? … I mean, what is the Previous Question? Then there was the second Gop debate, where they couldn’t even lie appealingly, or apparently with a clue. All this means is that someone is in the lead for 2024… People do win elections. Alabama just doesn’t want it to be Black people. Nonetheless, a court-appointed special master has offered 3 proposals to boost the Black voting-age population share there. That wouldn’t be enough for Ohio, where Dems cut their own throat when they think Republicans might make it even more painful.

On today’s KITM, David Waldman welcomes back Greg Dworkin who was out yesterday for Eastern Orthodox Yom Kippur. All in all, yesterday was a good day for the left… although maybe not for some Obama right-wingers. Surprise! A judge has ruled that TFFG committed fraud for years. Wouldn’t it have been weird if Donald Trump had left that single facet of his life uncorrupted? And wouldn’t it have been shocking had Donald accepted the blame this one time? Those multiple federal felony indictments mean Donald shouldn’t be receiving guns, but give his Supreme Court a chance and Trump will be back plinking off Dems on 5th avenue in no time. Meanwhile, David’s old boss Bob might be forced into retirement soon. After all, Senator Robert Menendez probably has drawers full of gold watches by this point. 25 Democratic Senators, plus Dick Durbin are pointing Menendez to the exit… and right when Republicans were realizing just how much they had in common. What will the folks at the debate tonight say?  A lot is happening at the Capitol, and absolutely none of it is good. The Senate and the House fight for the wheel, while hurtling towards the cliff with Kevin McCarthy strapped across the front bumper. Kev threw his very last bone to the Freedom Caucus, who really don’t mind going over the cliff at all. The Alabama GOP will have to comply with a Supreme Court order striking down its racially gerrymandered map... “Supreme Court”? In Ohio they don’t need no stinkin’ “Supreme Court”!

David Waldman is back, recovering from modest low blood sugar and seriously deep thoughts. Lee Greenwood never wrote a song about it, but the day remains significant. If only David could have gotten his old boss Bob to contemplate his moral course, things might have been different. When Republicans want to misbehave, they head down the path to Bohemian Grove. Clarence Thomas traveled many times to the bucolic retreat to share many tips with billionaires... and no tips with waitstaff. You know who has two thumbs and has been warning you almost daily about the looming government shutdown? Joan McCarter, that’s who. (If Joan doesn’t have two thumbs, that intro sure will be awkward.) Disaster aid, flood insurance and more hang in the balance, in fact pretty much everything hangs in the balance if billions are flushed down the toilet. Do Republicans really want to avert a shutdown? It doesn’t matter what Kevin McCarthy thinks because Kevin McCarthy has never been able to actually do anything. The Senate might throw Kev a lifeline, more out of pity than self-interest. How much do Republicans have to destroy to get felonious feeble-mind Donald Trump back into the presidency? According to Cassidy Hutchinson, they were willing to destroy it all to keep him in there.  The Supreme Court rejected Alabama’s latest attempt to avoid creating a second Black majority congressional district, which only means that like Ohio, they will just continue ignoring what courts tell them. Hunter Biden is suing Rudy Giuliani before everyone else rightfully squeezes him dry. Rudy’s probably hoping to make off like Alex Jones, who spends $93,000 a month without paying anyone, and not like Project Veritas, who are finally closing up shop.

It's the Day of Atonement, so I pre-recorded a show! But I did it last year, which means it's now a re-run. There was no time for a new one this year, since I had weekend guests. But the show from as close to a year ago as possible, the September 26, 2022 show, was actually a pre-recorded Rosh Hashanah show! October 5, 2022 was the pre-recorded Yom Kippur show. So we're bringing you the Oct. 5th show, so you don't get confused. Get it? The Eastern Orthodox are finally off the hook for today's confusing calendar joke! What did we do last time we were atoning? Scott described it this way: REPENT NOW! If you are the kind who prefers to mete out your contrition in dribs and drabs over the course of a year rather than just reaping everything you sowed in one fell swoop, lament no more! Yesterday, David Waldman was warming up his self-reproach muscles when he realized that he sorely regretted not supplying us with a fresh KITM for today... So, here’s our brand-new prerecorded show! Trump knew how to handle classified documents, but he didn’t want to handle them that way, and people who wanted to keep their jobs did it the way that Trump wanted. A majority of House Republicans voted to overturn the 2020 election. Since then, most haven’t seen a need to recant, but to instead fine tune their rhetoric for the highest ROI. In fact, Ginni Thomas, the Oath Keepers, Marjorie Traitor Greene and FPOTUS have set the pace on rousing their rabble, by employing the “accusation in a mirror” technique. The mother-daughter duo from the MAGA group Women For America First have strong connections with Mark Meadows, Donald Trump, and Mike Lindell, and advance information on a lot of seditionist and insurrectionist shenanigans. Darwin H.M., aka @Darwin_Darko, aka the most reasonable man in America, tells us of the forgotten story of the “reverse freedom rides” of 1962 — with a music bed too — it’s like a Ken Burns film without the distraction of floating pictures!

Friday. The day David Waldman reserves to tie it all together, and finish everything up… or not. Hey, it’s Friday! House Oversight Chair Jim Comer thinks Joe Biden is too sexy to work, so sexy it hurts. Where is Biden’s long-awaited pivot? Joe knows that to look good, just stand next to someone ugly. Dunning Kruger poster boy Kevin McCarthy failed to see Matt Gaetz creeping up on him, even with the whole audience shouting at him to look out. There was some procedural fun around the sinking of the Defense appropriations bill, as well as the Senate maneuvering Gen. Randy George’s confirmation around Tommy Tuberville’s holds. In for a penny, in for a billion, Clarence Thomas also secretly participated in Koch Network donor events. David has always had problems with The Intercept and annotates the reasons why with a recent Intercept article.

On today’s KITM, by popular demand, David Waldman will continue our discussion of Canadian pirates. By greater popular demand, Greg Dworkin returns with another of his Raft O’ Stories®rrrrr, matey. Remember TV’s Byron Allen? It’s okay if you don’t. Bryon is doing just fine without us. Mr. Allen is so well off now that he could even afford to dine with David Brooks. Kevin McCarthy’s plan to hold the House together while avoiding government default is simple. He will keep giving in to right-wing extremists until Republicans are forced to accept whatever Democrats offer them. Meanwhile, Donald Trump has presented an even simpler solution to Republicans, the “F’ everybody and save my ass!” plan. (Donald’s now suddenly concerned about how he might look in orange.) Presently, Gop priorities center around lining up people to hand them their head in committee meetings. Elsewhere, justice marches on. You could fill a stadium with lawyers embarrassed to have been associated with Trump. Trump’s fake electors are wondering if their sleeper cells had been sleeping enough to evade prosecution. Is Trump Employee 2 a model witness? Trump Is the reason women can’t get abortions. And yet, Trump has a really good feeling that he’s going to win the nomination. Ron DeSantis circles the drain, for 2024, and probably also 2028. Alabama is doing its part for their future Republicans, by keeping Black representation down to a minimum. Nuns are fighting the Catholic patriarchy, which the Catholic patriarchy has determined disqualifies them from fighting the Catholic patriarchy. 

It’s Wednesday, time for David Waldman, Greg Dworkin and KITM, your source for Canadian pirate information and news. We have talked on the subject, and I posted a few links yesterday, but more needs to be said. It turns out that despite American’s comprehensive and detailed knowledge of pirates, Vikings and such, some are still unaware that these swashbuckling heroes might also be Canadian. For instance, there’s Peter Easton, warlord, gangster, and profit center of the North Atlantic. Proof that a rising tide raises all boats, unless you crossed him, then he sunk yours. Also, Pirate-Canadian Maria Lindsey Cobham, Pirate Queen. And who can forget “Roaring” Dan Seavey, who pirated Americans and Canadians alike? Yarr! Eh? Republicans (and Democrats) wonder if Kevin McCarthy should be made to walk the plank, even as the Gop House sinks beneath the waves. McCarthy’s last words will be “Regular order!” while the rest of the Republican rats have already picked out shores to swim to. Don’t expect our Navy to fish out the treacherous picaroons. Meet The Press and moderator Kristen Welker failed in their interview of Donald Trump… or they did exactly what they had planned to do. Larry David asked Elon Musk “Do you just want to murder kids?” and discovered that Elon has a wide range of other interests, including mass disinformation and trolling. Nikki Haley warns that supporting unions will only make unions stronger. Just look at how emboldened UAW president Shawn Fain has become! Auto workers have successfully employed union jujitsu on selected auto plants. 3 fake electors want to make a federal case out of their subversion charges. Fake elector Cathy Latham used to hate politics. She’ll really hate prison. Gen Z influencers moonlight as Ken Paxton’s astroturf support. Meanwhile, special elections continue to go really, really well for Democrats.

  Cap’n David Waldman, at the helm of the Good Ship KITM, sails us safely through another “Talk Like a Pirate Day” … uhm, “Yar”? (For our Canadian listeners, that’s “Yar, eh?”) Special Tuesday guest Joan McCarter isn’t feeling nautical today but can suggest a few members of Congress to keelhaul.  Republicans in DC have not been quite “arrayed” as of late. Republicans who always wanted to burn it down are using their fellow Republicans as kindling. The House are kneecapping the Senate, but so is Senator Ron Johnson. Matt Gaetz has turned against Kevin McCarthy, but pretty much everybody is turning against Matt Gaetz. The Biden impeachment inquiry might at least shut down with the government if they all didn’t mind abusing their staff. Clarence Thomas’ graft scandal raises the question of why SCOTUS justices have the time to take 38 vacations. Catholic fundamentalist tycoon Leonard Leo is working the judges from federal to state level to choke out voting rights. Donald Trump has been in court for about 60 years and is 77 years old. What does a warning about crossing the line into lifelong legal jeopardy actually mean to him? That’s why he wrote to-do lists for lackies on classified documents. Using them as toilet paper wasn’t getting his point across. Donald reminded aides that they “don’t know anything about boxes”. Trump is right, in that not many know everything about all of the boxes. Rudy Colludy Giuliani's ex-lawyers sue him for $1.4 million that they say he owes. Rudy could use a little of that money Trump raised for him... Too bad it all went to Bedminster overhead costs, huh? Canada isn’t worried so much about pirates anymore. Now it’s the Sikh Khalistan movement which has been an Indian problem but is turning into a Canadian crisis. Five Americans are back on US soil after release from Iranian detention, which would normally be seen as great news, if it wasn’t for the way abnormal people see things.

Greg Dworkin had an embarrassment of riches embarrassing embarrassments to go through in rounding up the weekend’s news. They put TFG back on normie TV, and to no one’s surprise, it sucked. And nobody told viewers he was a lying liar. Which they’re really going to have to do, one of these days. Meanwhile, he used the weekend to complain about Biden’s mental acuity, while also bragging that he was ahead of Obama in the polls, and that if he didn’t win the presidency in 2024, the US might find itself in World War II. In Texas, Ken Paxton is guilty. But that didn’t stop Texas state senate Republicans from finding him not guilty. We knew that was likely to happen, even though state house Republicans had voted overwhelmingly to impeach him. But in the end… the “jurors” were… Republicans. In other performative impeachment news, the WaPo comes up with a correct headline for whatever it is House Republicans are up to in DC. The NYT, meanwhile, has noticed that Democrats are hand-wringers. Looming in the background: another government shutdown, which ordinarily, the Speaker of the House would try to deal with. But we don’t have one. All we have is a collection of press hounds, who know it’s easier to become famous for saying no. Well, that and a Dusty Johnson. Jenna Ellis has temporarily learned a lesson, finding herself on the menu at a leopard restaurant. Even odds on whether she forgets it if TFG ever matters, again. What do you say if you’re a conservative who is disgusted by Vivek Ramaswamy? You say that you dislike him, and that it’s because he “sounds like” a progressive Democrat. In a sampling of the latest courtroom drama, Trump hilariously insisted that the judge in his DC case should recuse herself, while prosecutors merely insisted that that he should stop inciting violence. Twitter lawyers, meanwhile, insisted that they would keep appealing their previous losses over Smith’s warrant for TFG’s Tweets.

David Waldman delivers us to the end of the week and the beginning of the year on today’s KITM. Shofar so good! Artificial Intelligence should not be writing obituaries, unless, of course, you want AI to be part of bereavement process. After all, what could be worse for AI than to be declared useless? What could be a prouder moment than to have played in video games? An AI named “EagleAI” has shown itself to be useful in disenfranchising voters and helpful in spreading disinformation. It won’t be dying soon. PraegerU aims to teach children the words of Abraham Lincoln, Frederick Douglass and Ullyses S. Grant, as passed through the intestinal tract of Rush Limbaugh. It’s gotten out that Florida “homeschoolers” can receive kayaks, paddleboards, big-screen televisions and theme park tickets free from the State. (Who knew that people read Facebook?) It was only a matter of time before someone came to break up the party. Rural Georgia voters are wondering how Trump’s co-conspirators managed to get away with all that they did under their noses. Meanwhile, in North Carolina election fraudster Mark Harris wants to put all his old crimes behind him, to make room for his future in Congress. Donald Trump has another interview and digs a little deeper. 

Thursday on KITM, and we welcome David Waldman and Greg Dworkin, your unimpeachable sources for news and mirth, weekdays.  Not-so mirthful Kevin McCarthy finally realizes the value of f—king procedure, if not adjective placement. The MAGA/Freedom caucus is beginning to realize that destroying government for their revenge fantasies isn’t a big vote-getter. Neither is their shutting down of abortion rights. Unfortunately for everyone, their MAGA doom loop is much more frequent than the Brigadoon loop of 100 years.  Soon you won’t have Mitt Romney to kick around anymore. Joking! Of course, you will. Forever. Remember, that just because someone hates the same people you do, it doesn’t make him your friend. We still have Donald Trump to kick around, so somebody really needs to be kicking harder. The ass-kicking line is just queuing up, and everyone will get their full turn.  Meanwhile, if Hunter Biden has a problem with the law, he needs to settle up. That’s the way it goes, and the way it should go with everyone. MAGA terrorists never will see it that way.

David Waldman, This Is Your Life! On today's KITM, David relates the true story of his rollercoaster-like ride to honchoing the KITM Worldwide Entertainment conglomerate, adding words of guidance for aspiring lawyers, politicians, ad men and women, while dishing on DC’s movers and shakers. (We won't get into names though... except for Greg Dworkin, whose name we do like to drop at least three times a week.) Also, there’s some news! Kevin McCarthy announced a formal impeachment inquiry against President Joe Biden. Yep, that’s weaponization of government all right, an attack on democracy. The Freedom caucus can’t decide whether to half-heartedly deny that or throw a party on live tv. Or... psychotically rant, or cynically lie… the usual. The press is happy to fall in line. Republicans will inevitably impeach Biden no matter what the facts show, or what the press says. Interim House Speaker Kevin McCarthy’s got nothing, and no longer has any bargaining chips left. Donald Trump has about used up all of his pain in the ass trolls before he’s caboose on a chain gang.  The Gop behind the impeachment have had recent dinner meetings with Trump… and you know that they weren’t there for the halibut. Not only is there no evidence against Joe Biden, but there’s also of course a lot of evidence exonerating him. Therefore, the best move for Joe is to just quit... wait, that doesn't sound right. Anyhow, no one is jumping into anyone’s primary now. Ron DeSantis knows how to handle a federal misdemeanor, with a bullet right between the eyes. The resilient spirit of young Americans will pull us through. We haven’t heard from that dummy Lauren Boebert lately, but we will soon hear her explanation of why she was ejected from the Denver Buell Theatre after she was caught enthusiastically vaping during the Beetlejuice musical.

It’s Tuesday on KITM. More importantly, it’s finally 9/12, and we can return to our 9/12 mindset. Even better, Joan McCarter is feeling better, and can call in and give David Waldman somebody to talk to other than all of us. After long consideration… well, after not much consideration at all, Interim Republican Speaker Kevin McCarthy made his move to impeach Joe Biden. Knife out, heading for Biden, Kevin might not realize that he’s being crept up on by Matt Gaetz, who will be so preoccupied that he won’t notice Marge Greene’s knife… MTG better have eyes in the back of her head. MAGA knows that all of those charges against Donald Trump are fake news. They’re just waiting for that verdict from the Supreme Court. Good thing Supreme Court judges are always honorable, impartial, ethical… alas, that is not true, not since conjugal dark money conduit Ginni Thomas helped open Leonard Leo’s and Harlan Crow’s spigots into their undisclosed hoses. Can Senate Republicans stop House extremists from helping Putin? Not if Senate Republicans can team up with enough House counterparts to secure Ukraine aid.

On today’s KITM, David Waldman and Greg Dworkin count down the days until “Talk Like a Pirate Day”, while counting up the dumb and dumber people they find in the world. 9/11. Time for memorials, and defacing of memorials. Donald Trump is adept at turning memories into nightmares. Donald says wind farms cause cancer.  Ron Johnson will tell you they kill whales. In your universe those are lies, but in the Republican universe… they are also lies, but they’re their guy’s lies, and that’s good enough for them. They know what they want and are not picky about their rationale. Glenn Youngkin can pardon any violent criminal as long as he brings law and order to Gilberts Corner… not like those big cities, which just aren’t their big cities. And, that’s just how leopards ate the face of this conservative Idaho community. Voters in all universes are feeling better about the economy, they just don’t feel like crediting President Joe Biden. That’s okay, happier people are Biden voters. Dems have experienced great success over the last year. Of course, it is over the next year that we need to be concerned about. Biden’s age is mostly a lie people tell themselves when they don’t want to vote for him. Nonetheless, it is a lie that can do plenty of damage, unless people are reminded of what they are really voting for. Ron DeSantis’ Super PAC is hurting his campaign, but not half as much as Ron DeSantis is. Vivek Ramaswamy was attempting to reassure voters about his authenticity when the truth dropped right on his head. In DC, Interim Republican Speaker Kevin McCarthy will be getting exactly what he’s been asking for this week. The U.S. Government chose a supervillain as a major supplier and is somehow surprised when the sharks with frickin’ laser beams become pointed at them. 

Lots going on today, as always. Some of which we talked about, and some of which we assigned as homework. Navarro’s guilty. And not just of pacing around nervously. Fani Willis had a thing or two to say to Jim Jordan. And the Fulton County Special Grand Jury’s report was released today, too. In more in-depth news, here’s the take we were looking for on “Coach” Kennedy’s case. The more you look at it, the more it looks like other fake cases, like 303 Creative. That reminds me, Every Republican Accusation is a Confession.™ This time, the proof is… another “famous” conservative “Christian” family brought low by charges of child abuse. “Free speech absolutist” Elon Musk finds yet another limit to his tolerance: Ukraine. Proud Boys imprisoned for Jan. 6 think Trump will pardon them. That much we all understand. Why they think he’ll do it for free is the mystery. Maybe it’s because Trump is finally helping Rudy Colludy pay his legal bills… by asking other people to pay his legal bills.

David Waldman welcomes Greg Dworkin for only the second time this week. Not that Greg isn’t always welcome, it’s just that we are running short of days this week... Yes, President Joe Biden is old. He’s not as old as Mitch McConnell, that’s for sure.  In fact, Joe Biden is every bit as young as Mick Jagger! And yet, no one can stop handwringing about Joe’s age… Doesn’t that make you feel so ANGRY? Well, repurpose that anger into moving democratic and Democratic ideals forward and changing what can be changed. At least Biden can’t be impeached over “age” lies. The coach who wanted to promote Christian theocracy in high school football was fired. The Christian theocratic Supreme Court wouldn’t allow it. The coach could quit though, once he proved his point after one game. Florida home-schoolers school each other on how to game the state for Disney tickets, PS5s, and big-screen TVs.  TFFG is legal trouble. He lost, he’s losing, and he’s set to be the losing-est loser who ever lose-ed. Evidence keeps building, co-defendants keep flipping, judges are already tiring of him. All of his followers and associates are being herded into court like cattle through a stockade. Peter Navarro and John Eastman qualify for the express lane. Brad Raffensperger though is but a simple “Secretary of the State of Georgia”, he can’t take Donald Trump off the ballot as if he was some sort of rule-breaker! The war between the states rages on. At least the war between state Gops and the rule of law. And in Texas, Greg Abbott isn’t allowed to send migrants through buoys, nets and buzz saw blades anymore.

It’s the Wednesday KITM Special! Compared to Tuesday, we have somewhat less Joan, but a lot more Greg Dworkin, and about equal measures of David Waldman, all topped with a healthy dollop of news! Enrique Tarrio isn’t such a proud boy anymore and will be sent up the river for a long, long time. Not hardly long enough, nonetheless his verdict is a pretty effective example for those not wanting to follow him. Kingpin of the operation, Donald J. Trump, remains at large, however Special counsel Jack Smith continues to throw ever larger dragnets, hoping to reel him in shortly. Then there’s the 14th amendment, sitting right there for 155 years, waiting to be implemented for just this situation. The Civil War continues to rage on, with Republicans defying the law to cut down democracy in several states. In Alabama, a federal court stepped in to block a congressional redistricting map that defied Supreme Court orders. And in Wisconsin, the Gop is attempting to impeach their new Supreme Court justice before she can even hear a case. The economy isn’t working Republican’s way either, which is to say it is working. There’s nothing left for them to do but to try Benghazing Hunter. If that doesn't work, MAGA might need to postpone their overthrow of the government for another day. 50 thousand fake federal workers will just need to stand down and stand by. Meanwhile, the Wall Street Journal hopes to interest the Right with a rational, intelligent alternative… That’s their problem right there.

David Waldman is back with an all-new, live (for those who partake) KITM. Joan McCarter is back with all the latest from DC, though she’s still recovering from a rough strain of Covid. Who knows how many of us are catching the stuff again. Get well, and good luck. There’s a lot of opportunities for bipartisanship in Washington, but many more for doing nothing. Republicans are busy dreaming of dismantling the US government to replace it with Trump’s vision, which will mean a lot less work for everybody all around, and more beer and lightbulbs for those left standing. Christian militia minutemen are trained and ready to help in cleanup.  Marge Greene and Elon Musk already have input to share. Greene is ready to shut it all down right now unless Joe Biden is impeached for attacking her because she said she would shut it all down right now unless Joe Biden is impeached. If Laura Loomer actually believes she can out-nuts MTG to win Donald Trump’s rose, she’s got to be crazy nuts. All the astroturf in the world won’t help Ken Paxton, six feet above his head.

Taking the day off is the only sensible approach to Labor Day. Not that we've always done it. But we're doing it now, so that's what matters. It also gives us a chance to reflect on the fact that we're marking a full year since Biden's "Battle for the Soul of the Nation" speech. And while it's gratifying to see a few people FO what happens when they FA, we're a long way from done. And I don't feel like I've just lived through a year of battle for the soul of the nation. Do you? That either means we haven't done nearly enough yet, or... it means we've done plenty, even if there's more to do, and this might be easier than we think. Here's how it felt a year ago, at the outset: David Waldman annotates our reading assignments for the weekend: President Joe Biden appeared before our entire nation last night to address the Soul of our Nation. Well, most of our nation. If all you have are rabbit ears on your TV you might have missed out. Joe believes in the goodness of Americans, including most Republicans. Biden did single out that deplorable sub-group of “MAGA Republicans”, pro-insurrection, anti-democratic, anti-American and a danger to everyone. Republicans respond angrily. MAGA Republicans respond angrily-er. Give the corporate media a minute to figure out what the real offenses might be. Much of this started with Newt Gingrich. Michigan reveals anti-democracy in action when the largest number of signatures submitted for a ballot initiative in state history were rejected by the two Republicans on the election board. The DOJ filed a detailed property inventory on the items seized at Mar-a-lago. Donald Trump never trusted anyone else with classified documents and had to take care of unloading them all himself. He was almost finished when the present President of the United States decided he had executive privilege over his remaining stock.

Fridays often cast a wide net for KITM content. And this one’s no exception. First, we return to and finish up the story of Russia’s disinformation “active measures” in Africa, where people are increasingly turning off old school Western media and turning to online sources. The other Judge Starr isn’t exactly slamming on the brakes with his order for “religious-liberty training” for Southwest Airlines’ lawyers. Clarence Thomas claims he was clearing things up with a revised financial disclosure. But, ah… no. In fact, it only raises more questions, including why he’s such a vicious Gimmetarian.™ The #GunFAIL story that getting all the eyes: a Tennessee woman, claiming she was conducing “firearms safety training” — for a 4-year-old — shot her point blank in the chest and killed her. Why any of the things that happened happened is anybody’s guess. Life is complicated. Now, so is death.

What? Is it already National Eat Outside-Diatomaceous Earth Day? Time for another KITM, featuring David Waldman and Greg Dworkin! The Gop is primed for another charismatic phony. So, will it be Vivek Ramaswamy? Billy McFarland?  Viktor Orbán? Andrew Tate? No, that guy is way too much the real deal. For $8,000 Tate helped lonely boys find dates, subjugate them to their will through physical and mental assault, then pimp them out for cash, you know, guy stuff. Hey, but Donald Trump’s still out there, working hard to hold the title. His election lies might have broken some in the Republican party, but TFFG continues to maintain history’s most powerful innocence... as do a lot of people it seems. John Eastman reasons that he’s so guilty, he must be innocent while Peter Navarro pins the blame on that sign behind him. Could it be… Fani Willis who is actually Satan? (BTW, Greg and Brad are on Threads.) Every Republican accusation is a confession. (Even Patrick is on Threads. Alas, Kagro X… is not.) Why not the 14th Amendment? Some states are looking into it, and some Republicans are getting nervous. Around January 6th justice, some insurrectionists are facing the music, while others face their victims. Pro-Putin rapper Timati (not to be confused with pro-Trump rapper Hi-Rez) “picked up” a few hundred Starbucks and Domino’s in Russia, demonstrating the benefits of working within the system… Russian disinformation is booming along the Sahel in Africa, traditionally the area for, well, for just that.

David Waldman invites Maestro Greg Dworkin to The KITM Stage this morning for another virtuoso performance, Mr. Waldman in support, ostensibly “cooperative overlap”, actually in contrapuntal reinforcement, adding transcendent dissonant texture. TFFG is losing bigly in the courts no matter what he tries to pull. Donald Trump is so sick of losing, he might just stop showing up in court. Republicans hope to put a stop to courts, judges and laws before things really get tough and they need to take out Black people, women, etc. Rich Christian homeschoolers want public schools to be like their home schools for everyone, for parental rights, natch, and are paying to make it happen. Florida wants their schools to teach the “other” side of slavery. More people going to school just means more people will get shot. (Follow George on Threads!) Dog owners are turning down rabies shots so that their dogs don’t catch autism. And you wonder why the election is so close. (Follow Liam on Threads!) At least election denialism lost again, this time in a red-trending Iowa county. Justice continues to march on. (Follow Kyle on Threads!) John Eastman’s “I’m too busy being a criminal somewhere else” defense was taken down in his disbarment proceedings. Hurricane Idalia is hitting Georgia, so maybe it’s not a hurricane anymore? Trump wouldn’t have let this happen. (Follow Steve on Threads!)

David Waldman is here for the Tuesday KITM, but unfortunately for us, Joan McCarter is under the weather, leaving it to David to ring the Tuesday Government Shutdown bell.  Joe the Plumber is out also, but more permanently. “Samuel Joseph Wurzelbacher”, as it probably reads on his headstone, opposed full insurance reform, but apparently not asking for crowdfunded healthcare. TFFG’s election subversion trial will begin March 4. He’ll be arraigned September 6. Demand grows to remove Trump from state ballots. Donald’s squealing like a 215lb piggie. What more could you wish for? Hillsdale College is the Republican go-to spot to pick up the latest in White Christian Nationalist grooming kits… that is “Parental Rights” kits for degrading K-12 public education. Lawyer Michael Farris came up with the idea of destroying public schools while home-schooling his kids. Hurricane Idalia hasn’t made landfall yet, so anti-FEMA loons and grifters are on the Soros-funded Lahaina death ray theories. 

David Waldman and Greg Dworkin back on Monday’s KITM, ready to lead us into another week of adventure and merriment.  You know where I don’t want to go anymore? That crap social media site, what’s it called… you know what I’m talking about. That place is useless, you know. Here, let me show you:  The Republican debate shook up the primary race for distant second place. Here’s the latest polling… (And, here’s that same post on A GOOD SITE, Threads. Which has a desktop version now, FYI) None of the Republican candidates want to beat TFFG anyhow, they’ll tell you that. They’re all just as bad as Trump. They just want to prove that to the American people. Ron DeSantis convinces more people each day. For instance, this lady is a convert. (Oh, and here is that post in Threads.) If you don’t know who Florida state Rep Angie Nixon is, you do now. (And by now you know that post is on Threads, too.) Here’s another side eye for Desantis. (And here is that same post… wait, it’s not there. I’ll be damned.) Why are people still on “that” site? Because that’s where the fighting is, and people like fighting. Journalists will always point their cameras at the fight in front of them, even as the takeover happens right behind them. Meanwhile, somehow, justice marches on. Donald Trump and his co-villains are back in court to fight for different venues and times… and losing. The Hatch Act bars Mark Meadows’ removal bid. What do you, our listeners, suggest that we talk about? Well David did just that in the last half of the show.  Hillsdale College in Michigan offers Christian theocracy in a box, for K-12 back-to-school grooming needs. FEMA conspiracy misinformation goes wherever FEMA is most desperately needed, this time to Maui, next... Florida? And, it’s no secret that some of the Secret Service are bromatically attached to Oath Keepers.

Happy birthday to us! It’s David Waldman’s birthday today! …And Armando Llorens!’ …And mine tomorrow! It was Darwin Darko’s, aka Darwin HiM’s last week! Why are so many Virgos involved in the production of KITM? (Of course, we Virgos do not believe in that horoscope stuff.) Plus! Greg Dworkin pops out of the cake in the finale! No one could give us a bigger birthday present than Donald P01135809 Trump, who surrendered for his Georgia mugshot at a championship-ready lying weight of 215 pounds, even putting on an extra inch of height for the big event. If he keeps making that face, it will freeze that way. Meanwhile, co-villain Jeffery Clark went for his “yup that’s me, you probably wonder how I got here.” face. Armando and David discussed how things are going, and could go for TFFG, but they aren’t completely into the theory that Donald slipped Mar-a-Lago to Junior while no one was looking. Ken Paxton, hated by most, guilty of everything, still has a lot of Gen-Z astroturf on his side. “Constitutional sheriffs” see themselves as judge, jury, and evangelist for their counties, but can they tell “sovereign citizens” what to do? Nope, no one can tell them anything. Sara Palin calls for an uprising; expect a lot of surveyor marks.

Yes, Greg Dworkin watched at least some of the debate, not that any of us ever had to. DeSantis’ loss was a given, and it seems his leaked strategy to “hammer Ramaswamy” was co-opted by everyone else. And with good reason! He’s the candidate Greg says it’ll take you mere seconds to come to hate. Which is why Gop goons swooned for him. (Even as the “normies” couldn’t get any sicker of the culture war fixations.) Meanwhile, TFG skipped the debate as expected, pretending to be on white nationalist “television,” instead. Though it’s unclear if anyone saw it. Useless or not, there’s no escaping the polls. The courtroom and motions action continues down in Georgia. Mamas, don’t let your babies grow up to be Jonathan Turleys. Judge Luttig speaks out — probably very slowly — on the hot topic of 14th amendment remedies, and says the answer is both self-evident and self-executing. But is that a good idea in the age of birtherism, forged Electoral College votes, and baseless impeachment fever?

David Waldman and Greg Dworkin present another thrilling episode of KITM: Donald Trump, COUNTDOWN TO SURRENDER! Tonight’s Episode: A Cavalcade of RINOS. Watch to see who will win the coveted title of World’s Smallest Loser. (We already know it’ll be Ron DeSantis.) All of them know that the biggest loser is TFFG, but none of them have the courage or wisdom to say that… well, except for Chris Christie, but that’s his schtick. None of really want to win anyway, they just hope to outlive MAGA. MAGA differ from regular Republicans in many ways, but not all of those pertain to aroma. Speaking of Rudy Colludey, He and his irrefutable vindicating scientific evidence have arrived in Georgia for their mugshot. John Eastman and other co-defendants beat the rush and got photographed by the pre-dawn crew. Mark Meadow explained that his life as a rat is much too hectic to participate in state trials.  Jeffrey Clark feels no guilt, as he was only following orders. As for the rest of the riff raff rounded up, the smaller the name, the more likely they are to flip. For instance, “Trump Employee 4” in Donald’s classified documents case realized he was on the bottom of the fall guy line and found himself a new lawyer. Judge Aileen Cannon thought she’d outsmart Jack Smith, but you know you found a fine time to flip then Yuscil. Yuscil Taveras took a barbed wire wrapped baseball bat to Trump’s defense, and that’s going to leave a mark. What’s Dark Brandon up to lately? Who knows? The dude is mysterious… Meanwhile, President Joe Biden is out there mopping up foes, and getting the job done.

Sure, it’s Trump Surrender Week, but should remind ourselves that the rest of the world has its own priorities. For example, the International Day Commemorating the Victims of Acts of Violence Based on Religion or Belief. Now that’s a mouthful! Trump’s set to ruin my birthday present, by turning himself in a day early. On top of that, he’s skipping the Republican debate to go on white nationalist “TV”. Best guess: he wants no oxygen left for debate night or the day after. Online betting is off and running on the surrender. Are they actually going to weigh him, too? They’re running an over-under on it, so… maybe? (Current line: 278.5 lbs.) In other surrender news, he’s gonna have to post bail. At least some, anyway. Oh, hey… what about that thing where Mark Meadows was attempting to remove his case to federal court? What’s that all about? And if you’re still puzzled (or just annoyed) by Trump apologists disingenuously claiming things like, “Oh, so now calling a Secretary of State on the phone is a crime?!” then it’s time for a little (read: a lot of) discussion about the definition and role of “overt acts” in a conspiracy, and in a conspiracy indictment.

Friday brings us the Exciting Conclusion™ of “W, precisely, TF was going on in Coffee County?” We’re not too sure that what Kenneth “The Cheese” Chesebro was doing for TFG was actual “lawyering.” But we’re sure that what he was doing during the actual insurrection part of Jan. 6 wasn’t. That wacky order for “religious liberty training” for Southwest Airlines’ lawyers is on hold. But then again, well… 5th Circuit. Rosalyn MacGregor is back, to keep us up to date on bleeding edge local crazies, the Ottawa County, MI Gop, busily robbing everyone blind. What should you be reading about this weekend? How about (possibly planned) incompetence at Florida’s New College, wrecking everything? Or Rudy Colludy’s desperate begging for a legal bills bailout? Because apparently he didn’t steal enough from “documentary” investors. Or this crossover from the Southwest Airlines story (you’ll see, or hear, anyway), wherein a coordinated trolling campaign is underway in support of disgraced superjerk Ken Paxton.

David Waldman and Greg Dworkin are back, and here to talk to each other again, but it’s ok if you want to hang out too. Democrats need to face facts. Whether they like it or not, they now need to accept the uneasy truth that they… might be... winning. Republicans are certainly losing and are getting tired of pretending that they aren’t. The news media is finding it tougher to invent a second, rational, side with debates still coming up. It is clear that the majority of Americans want Donald Trump placed far, far away from where the majority of them are. Don’t count Donald Trump out yet. He’s got plenty of options still. Donald still has Mike Lindell, for instance. And Matt Gaetz, Marjorie Traitor Greene, Jenna Ellis, Rudy Giuliani, John Eastman and so many more ready to give their all for him. Trump might still throw all of them, and all of us, under the bus. What’s he got to lose? Luckily, Donald has that IRREFUTABLE report in his back pocket, or there’d be real trouble. How about a nice big cup of Coffee County, Georgia? A school district asked ChatGPT to find the naughty bits in books for them. AI knows just what they are hungry for.

It’s Wednesday, so you know David Waldman and Greg Dworkin are up to something… It’s a good year to be an annotator. Donald Trump’s fourth indictment is out, and anybody who’s anybody is getting arraigned. Are four strikes too many to call Trump out? Are RICO charges too much? Or did Fani Willis bring perfect charges for perfect phone calls? TFFG has so many indictments, we can now appreciate how well they complement each other. There could be a market for Trump judge trading cards, so we can all keep track of Trump’s insults. Trump’s crimes will start to feel like crimes after Trump starts to feel that they are. Georgia’s indictment of Trump is a confirmation of states’ rights, Governor Brian Kemp should feel proud. So should his lieutenant governor, Burt Jones. Jack Smith isn’t going to let Georgia take all the spotlight. Smith picked up a lot of data on Trump from Twitter, even after they tried to give Donald a heads up. Twitter’s lawyers knew that they could do that… from Twitter. None of this matters to Trump supporters. The thing is, there are less of those every day. There are also less DeSantis and Pence supporters. That puts Chris Christie right in the 9% catbird seat! It also ain’t hurting Biden any. Ace KITM Correspondent Rosalyn MacGregor brings us the latest out of Michigan: Civil war or something! That “something” will be the daydreams of 16 felony convicts looking at their cell walls. And, youth activists in Montana win in a first-of-its-kind climate trial.

Such an arraigny night in Georgia! Donald Trump was indicted for the 4th time! 19 indicted! 30 co-conspirators! 98 pages! And yet the silence from KITM World Headquarters was almost deafening this morning. I’m told it was a “power outage”, but it was probably a lib plot to take the attention off of Hunter Biden. David Waldman did hit record however, and Greg Dworkin even called in, because how could he resist? Together they listed the Trump 18 plus indictments, determined that Georgia was the worst/best place for Trump to FAFO in, but that TFFG was just that kind of guy, and he should have been put in jail a couple of decades ago. Trump has had irrefutable proof of his innocence for years and might be forced to present it. And well, isn’t convicting Donald of his crimes in fact only actually convicting us? The biggest difference between the Georgia indictment and the Jan. 6 indictment will be race. It has gotten so bad for Donald Trump (and Ron DeSantis) that Chris Christie has climbed to second in primary polling… Uhm, “hooray”? Meanwhile, Tommy Tuberville has defeated three branches of the U.S. military on his own. Ronny Jackson, well known drinker and pill-popper, denies drinking at work, and denies drinking at rodeos, so he must be one of those “angry non-drinkers” you hear about. Raiding the press because you don’t like your stories about you doesn’t work in the movies, or in real life. The Reichsbürger seem like wurst-filled dummköpfe from over here, but in Germany they never joke.

Bad news... No one is coming to your Biden Country diner to better understand you. Good news! David Waldman and Greg Dworkin are waiting here at KITM, and they care about most of your plights! Is this the end of Trump? Well, for the racketeer Former Guy, it’s just the beginning of RICO. Georgia Fulton County DA Fani Willis is set to bring a whole lot of hammers down on Donald Trump, and several of his soon-to-be ex-friends. Georgia prosecutors will prove Trump’s team is behind the Coffee County voting machine breach, and that Team Trump knew the Dominion claims were false. Lindsey Graham might not be indicted, but he’s always likely to flip anyhow, and naturally Donald would give up any one of them in a heartbeat. Trump’s co-conspirators are already starting to turn on each other. Why are so many of Trump’s alleged co-conspirators lawyers? Of course, the person who wants to see Donald Trump in jail the most is Donald Trump. If indictments boost Trump in the polls, just think what conviction could do! Leonard Leo, gimme-est of gimme-terians has installed a lot of gimmeterian judges, but his proudest achievement might be Judge Aileen Cannon.

avid Waldman is here to do a bunch of Friday things on the KITM Friday Show. Clarence Thomas had always yearned to be wealthy but refused to allow the fact that he was a simple Supreme Court Justice to ever hold him back. White male billionaires the world over saw this and empathizing with Thomas’ struggle against adversity, decided to become his benefactors and thus act affirmatively on Clarence’s behalf, in order to give Clarence Thomas a needed leg up… into his own luxury RV. This cadre of Horatio Algers all saw themselves in the same boat (Or yacht, as the case may be.), and knew that they had to stick together, as the day might come when they might find themselves in need a favor. TFFG co-conspirator #2 John Eastman expected the military to help overthrow the government but was let down. Co-conspirator #5 Kenneth Chesebro regrets the violence on January 6, especially after it didn’t overthrow the 2020 election to his preference. Now even the Federalist Society is running out of uses for Donald Trump. Meanwhile, fraudulent electors have been arraigned due to many of the fraudulent things they’ve been accused of.  4 years after the Walmart shooting in El Paso Texas, and Texans still have a problem with immigrants. Greg Abbott hopes that an obstacle course requiring asylum seekers to swim between rolling buoys, razor wire and sawblades might do the trick. Right wing troll Andy Ngo had his ass handed to him, but not a win in his lawsuit against Portland activists. Most Reasonable Man in America and KITM Senior Black Correspondent, @Darwin_Darko, aka Darwin HiM wishes Tim Scott the best of luck navigating the Confederate flags lining his path to the Republican presidential nomination, but still holds some reservations on Scott’s wisdom in doing so.

David Waldman makes certain that no pontoon boats of ignorance block Greg Dworkin’s docking of his Raft o’ Stories!™ on today’s KITM. What really happened in Loudoun County? You should have a pretty good idea by now. After all, we covered it thoroughly all this week. Glenn Youngkin rode the conservative transphobic/homophobic wave into the Virginia Governor’s office, and maybe all the way into the Republican nomination, now that Ron DeSantis’ wave is spinning around the toilet bowl. No, make that “Ronald” DeSantis, to stay within new Florida school guidelines, which of course were put in place to keep little Ronalds from becoming Ronettes, and Glenns from becoming Glendas. The folks who claim that the gender spectrum is in people’s heads now also want to deny that it is in anyone’s head. Donald Trump says he won't sign the RNC loyalty pledge required for the upcoming debate. Nice to know that TFFG isn’t a big fan of loyalty, as he shouldn’t expect to see much more for the rest of his life. As I write this, Donald does not yet face the death penalty, but most of what he does face is not up for debate. The “independent state legislature” theory won’t save him, nor will Bill Clinton’s cat. Threats will get him nowhere; they might just make it worse. Clarence Thomas has had a great life, built upon an unearned lifestyle supplied through the largess of rich white men... On the other hand, perhaps Clarence earned every penny of it. Ohio’s Issue 1 was all about abortion. Republicans fooled almost no one. Worse for them, even less people will be fooled the next time. Almost no one believes that they have anything on President Joe Biden, and the ones who do believe, are going to be really disappointed. Get well soon, Hawaii!

On Wednesday’s David Waldman catches up with Greg Dworkin. Actually, we all catch up with Greg, who is way ahead of us on the latest news. OHIO! Voters like freedom and democracy and will vote to protect them. It’s funny how many pundits doubted that a year ago. Now, the Gop war on democracy is in retreat, as abolishing abortion turned out to be a bridge too far. Today, Republicans are making excuses and covering their tracks. Tomorrow, they’ll be back at it, again. They’ll need more than transphobia next time. Back in the day, Glenn Youngkin was elected Governor by transphobes. He’d have a tougher time now. Then again, harassing non-believers has lately become religious freedom. The tide might be turning in Ohio for Joe Biden. Not just because of abortion rights, but because of Ohio’s betrayal by the Trump administration. It also turns out that being indicted several times isn’t the selling point Donald had hoped for. Prosecuting Donald Trump may have terrible consequences, but they’re nothing compared to not prosecuting him. The Former Guy and his Six Co-Conspirators secretly planned, and memoed to overturn Joe Biden’s election win. Donald Trump insulting Chris Christie’s appearance is like the pot calling the kettle fat.

David Waldman and his dedicated staff here at KITM World Headquarters are in the midst of a little late spring housekeeping. From now on, whenever I need to post a link to “the social media site formally known as bird”, I will try to find an identical link somewhere else... It would be nice If only we migrated to the same place! David and I are both at Mastodon (a very quiet neighborhood). I’m also at Threads, which actually would be just dandy with a desktop version. But now David is also over at the other, other billionaire’s place, Bluesky. Maybe he’ll send you and me an invite and we can check that out. Also, I when I get paywalled links, I do hope to include a non-paywalled alternative, so that you might spend your hard-earned entertainment/educational bucks on us. Read along with Jack Smith’s Trump indictment in the NYT version, or on MSNBC’s and let KITM do the annotating! It seems like only yesterday that David was throwing his back out lugging bags of mulch for his kid’s Boy Scout troops. The Scouts could use sandbags in South Korea as a tropical storm bears down on their Jamboree.  Many big, huge lawyers, tears streaming down their eyes, say “Mr. Trump sir, you are the most stupid, awful client who ever existed”. These lawyers now claim that the DOJ is out to censor their bigmouthed boss and propose that everyone just lighten up a little on their gasbag dotard. Donald’s Secret Service detail might, or might not, be ready to take a bullet for him, but could draw the line on going to prison with him. We continue to look into the full story of the Loudoun County sexual assault case used to ignite culture wars ahead of Glenn Youngkin’s election to Governor. Are you an Ohioan? Vote today! Get ready to vote in November!

David Waldman and Greg Dworkin are back, and here to talk about whatever you are talking about. That’s Donald Trump, right? We’re still talking about TFFG’s latest indictment, which won’t be his last, but is presently being treated to his usual panicked bs and revenge fantasies, with maybe few added tweaks. For instance, Donald Trump never “tells” people what to do, he just “asks” in an aspirational manner. How many times can Trump try to overthrow democracy before he becomes a bore? About this many times. Donald’s not as worn out as DeSantis’ War on Woke, but he’s getting there. Where is Mark Meadows? Mike Pence did find a way to finally get noticed. Do you know why you put Jeff Clark into the blender feet first? ...To catch his reaction. Unfortunately, we missed the details in a closed meeting, but maybe it will come up again in testimony. Wisconsin sore losers get sorer the more they lose. The Lincoln Project’s strategy of anti-Donald Trump resistance was probably instead a very successful strategy to make money. Republicans publicly bash Bud Light, and quietly pocket Bud Light money.  Glen Younkin owes his political career to a sexual assault in a school bathroom. Of course, that’s not the entire story. Tuesday is Voting No on Issue 1 day in Ohio. If you are here, you already know.

It’s Friday, the day David Waldman talks about as many topics as he wants, or as few. Today, it is one. TFFG’s January 6 Indictment.  We are now post-arraignment. Donald Trump supposedly doesn’t drink, but it might have crossed his mind last night. Trump plans to do just more of the same in the future. Maga plans to do worse. Donald’s lawyers plan even dumber moves, but that would be difficult. The media wonders if Donald Trump has already won. So far Walt Nauta hasn’t gotten any of his lawyers disbarred. What if you don’t want to think about Donald Trump this weekend? Republicans certainly can come up with some suggestions for you, although most won’t occupy your mind for long. Whatever you hope to think about, you are allowed to think about it less in Florida. You could talk about the weather...  At least David has the perfect playlist and soft drink for the weekend.

Another indictment, another arraignment, another KITM, and David Waldman and Greg Dworkin are here and ready to rumble. Here is where you come for not only the latest TFFG indictment annotated, but also for added comments, asides, and little notes scribbled in the margins. This indictment is the most important, so far.  Expect a lot of bellyaching, obfuscation, and threats from Trump, which is what you always expect from Trump. Expect the same from Republicans, unless they’re too scared to talk, or too, heh, “conscientious” and heh-heh, “forthright”, heh-heh-heh. Some are concerned that these indictments might be great news… for Donald Trump! Consider how prison time could empower him! David Brooks cashes in his contrarian paycheck wondering if perhaps the anti-Trump elite should turn themselves in for picking on Donald so much. Trump’s January 6 crimes are different because people felt them then and feel them now. TFFG is on his way to overtake both Richard Nixon and Benedict Arnold. Trump’s indictment leaves his alleged co-conspirators facing an incredibly easy choice… but who will go first? This news is not great news for state Gop parties, which won’t be great news for Trump the next time he needs them. Evel Knievel passed away a long time ago. So might a few of his fan base. But if Barbie can make a comeback...

Well, there was really only one thing on our minds today, even if there were a hundred ways to approach it. And of course, Greg Dworkin always knows exactly what it is: The Indictment. Of Michigan Attorney General candidate Matt DePerno and ex-state Rep. Daire Rendon. On charges of tampering with voting machines. As Republicans. Because all of their accusations are confessions.   Then there was another story. And that took up the rest of our day. That’s OK. It’s important! And there were a lot of unindicted co-conspirators for Trump to try to lay the blame on, in between claiming that the whole thing is a “witch hunt,” of course.   The co-conspirators’ day may yet come, but for now, America awaits The Trial. Because yeah, it’s as bad as you think. Now begins the task of setting fire to the tightropes Republicans have always been forced to walk for Trump.   If you’re in the commodities market, think popcorn.

It’s August, as we count down to David Waldman’s, and my birthday. But that’s old news. (Very old.) Here’s what’s happening today: Ian Reifowitz, word for word your best value in reading entertainment and political discourse, came on to talk about inflation, and the lack thereof in political discourse and how best to frame any discourse going forward into 2024. Twitter isn’t much good for discussing politics, following news, or even being Twitter anymore, but if you are looking for a fight, you came to the right place. David stepped in for a little sparring practice and found some pushovers around the topic of what piece of Earth to place Space Command. Of course, that particular issue attracts dopes across the spectrum, from Lauren Boebert all the way to Tommy Tuberville, who in this case makes Lauren look as smart as an MTG. Bidenomics is a spectacular success story that Incumbent President Joe Biden is riding all the way to… a dead heat. How does that work? Well, Fox News, for one, who not only support Trump over Biden, they support Trump uber alles. And, as always, it would be nice if Dems got arrayed, even the ones who have a point. Ketanji Brown Jackson is the new champion of originalism in the Supreme Court. That’s okay by Samuel Alito, he doesn’t need it anymore now that he has the majority. Democrats think they can tell Sam what to do, according to Joan McCarter, but making Sam do it is another matter. If you want the Republican House to do anything, you’ll have to find them first. More defendants in the Trump documents case means more chances to flip on Trump, but also more opportunities to delay. 

Person for all seasons, even those Eastern Orthodox ones, David Waldman welcomes eminent herdsperson of pundits and polls Greg Dworkin for today’s Month Closing, Week (But Strong) Opening KITM: Donald Trump says that his Republican opponents might as well just give up. He’s right of course, every one of them is a loser. Just ask any of his challengers, and they’ll tell you. (If you can find any of them.) 71% of Gop voters stand with Trump even considering all his indictments and investigations. After all, that is what they are paying for. For over 50 years Ed Rollins has worked for losers. Ed knows losers and knows that Ron DeSantis is a loser. Donors are beginning to catch on that DeSantis isn’t going anywhere but down. Except for his Nazi and Confederacy supporters though. They have a thing for losers. Democratic Governor Andy Beshear did a lot for voting rights in Kentucky, which is one of the things Kentucky Republicans have against him. Beshear just might be the guy to “Mitch McConnell” Mitch McConnell. Wunderkind Jared Kushner grows up and finds that his Times Square property isn’t worth the dirt it sits on. Qatar still treats him like family. The Biden campaign might not be demoting lawyer Marc Elias, but rather refocusing him. Freshman jerk Derrick Van Orden picked on Congressional pages after a little too much beer and cheese with lobbyists. He can go bully kids in the private sector.

David Waldman releases a Surprise Superseding KITM. TFFG told his lackies to delete security footage at Mar-a-Lago, according to Jack Smith’s superseding indictment update released last night. Henchmen hid in closets, bushes and spoke in secret emojis, and yet somehow were still found out. New revelations are now emerging, each more hilarious than the last. The only one having it worse than Donald might be Ron DeSantis, who already ceded his religion and heritage to the giamopes, yet every day finds himself forced to prove that he’s a meaner dumbass than Trump.  It’s become a nice climate for raising mean dumbasses lately, as “Active club” hate groups pop up across the nation. Somehow Elon Musk is still having a tough time. Poor-man’s Steven Sagal, freshman Republican Derrick Van Orden chewed out a group of high school-aged Senate pages for not living up to his ideals, which include paying for his January 6 insurrection field trip with campaign cash and exposing… some other guy’s abnormal genitals to unsuspecting female officers. Speaking of streaming flow difficulties, actors, writers and fans are just beginning to feel the pain.

I, David Waldman, and Greg Dworkin return for a Thursday KITM. Mitch McConnell freezes while the rest of the world bakes. Carry a spatula in Arizona so that you don’t stick to the pavement. Forget about frying eggs on the sidewalk, you can poach them in the ocean. Canadian bacon is now creosote smoked. Even space aliens might not be able to save us soon. Kind of a bummer that Donald Trump’s cell will be airconditioned. Members of Jack Smith’s DC federal grand jury have started arriving at the Prettyman courthouse, while Elite Strike Force member Rudy Colludy Giuliani surrenders, his troops attempting to blend into the scenery. On the other hand, Trump’s present bunker seems to be getting pretty sweaty as he runs out of suicide mission volunteers.  But what about Billy Carter 2.0, Hunter Biden? Hunter’s plea deal exploded when lawyers on both sides assumed… and you know what happens when lawyers assume. Republicans figure they don’t need Biden convictions when accusations work just as well. Does anyone remember when Jared Kushner…? No, but maybe someday. Meanwhile Bidenomics is the most successful intervention since FDR’s New Deal, and as it is always the economy, stupid, Joe Biden has 2024 in a landslide of, well, maybe a point or two. Everyone’s surprised (But mostly Vladimir Putin) that Ukraine has been able to slowly turn around the war, as opposed to quickly dying. There are lessons to be learned here, and we better be learning them.

Greg Dworkin has a theme today, but it wasn’t UFO-mania, or even Rudy Colludy’s confession. Seems the Ron DeSantis campaing is sinking like a stone. Staff are being cut (some more pointedly than others), plagued by an horrific burn rate, terrible polls, and of course, his latest “education” disaster (which, thank God, even some conservatives find appalling) all combined to leave “DeSantis in Disarray.” In other good news, apparently there were eight subpoenas served in TFG’s Perv-a-Lago documents case. Even better, the youngs are smart and have their heads screwed on right. Tommy Tuberville is a jerk for many, many reasons. But there’s at least one new one that Glenn Kessler thinks is important enough to call him out about, but refuses (for some strange reason) to invoke the “dreaded” Pinocchio count for. We headed back to Ohio for more on their convoluted ballot initiative battle. Depending on who you are, Ohio’s Gop either desperately wants you to believe the August vote is about abortion and nothing else, or alternatively, not about abortion at all, thank you very much. And speaking of heading back, we pulled a procedural U-turn to revisit our own wild speculation about the effect of a government shutdown on the lunatic Gop’s impeachment plans. Where does the Judiciary’s funding come from? And what happens if it’s still unfunded when they want the Chief Justice to show up?

* David Waldman returns for a second consecutive day to KITM World Headquarters. He hasn’t changed out of his speedo and sunglasses yet, but I believe he’ll stick around for the week. Alabama shows our country hasn’t changed… It certainly shows that it plans to stay Alabama as long as possible and ignore SCOTUS in order to keep its 1in 4 Black population at 1 in 7 representation. Over in Virginia however, Arlington Public Schools won’t comply with their state’s anti-trans school board policy. Billionaire graft with Supreme Court Justices isn’t just handy for the legal favors, you know. Harlan Crow has turned his court bribes into a successful tax scam on the side. That’s billionaire business school 101. Oh, look at the time! House Republicans realized summer break is about here, so they plan to get 12 appropriations bills and an impeachment or two through before Friday. Unfortunately, those Republicans have will have to contend with the other Republicans in the Senate. DC is at peak chaos and destruction. Time to bring in Joan McCarter to call the shit show. Kevin McCarthy thinks he can be flexible, but he will never bend over far enough for the Freedom Caucus. And, they haven’t even begun to self-destruct on abortion and all things sexual.

David Waldman’s famous nom de plume, “Kagro X”, suddenly doesn’t have the cachet it once held, now that Elon is pasting “X” on everything. The old bird social media site is now an X media site, and its tweets are… Well, whoever cared what an X ever had to say anyhow? Greg Dworkin shows up with not one, but TWO Rafts O’ Stories™ The Gop is doing it wrong and doubling down. Ron DeSantis leads that effort, but that’s all he will be leading. Ron is burning through donations and campaign staff in order to maintain the lifestyle he’s accustomed to. The DeSantis reboot aims to be leaner and meaner, but mostly meaner. He’s certainly tightening up his number of followers. Florida students are set to learn that the reason slaves were always so happy was because of all the on-the-job training they received. Ron disavows ever saying anything that nice. Ohio’s August vote might demonstrate how a plurality of voters still favor democracy and humanity. DeSantis is presently running a distant second… or third, or fourth behind Donald Trump, who is running a not too distant, but not too close second behind President Joe Biden. Maybe the one to watch is Tim Scott, the Un-Trump. “None of the Above” isn’t faring well but does awfully once any names are attached. Donald Trump never understood what being a President means, and if reelected will guarantee that no one ever will again. Imagine what the Supreme Court will do for Trump next time… unless you are German, then that would be a little too much imagination. That reminds me, things keep happening elsewhere on Earth. Israeli lawmakers revoked their Supreme Court's authority to overturn government decisions. And, if you don’t know what Karl is doing in Ukraine, you don’t know half the story.

David Waldman is still out, partially submerged in crystal blue water off the West Indies, in the North Atlantic, somewhere due south of here. Tropical hedonism might have gone to his head by now, but last week David still cared about us enough to pre-record today’s KITM, adding welcome contributions by Ace KITM Correspondent Rosalyn MacGregor! Lunatic Michigan Republican Party chair Kristina Karamo and eight others have been ordered to pay more than $58,000 because of their insane and malicious voter fraud claims, leaving the Michigan Gop maybe not enough to buy lunch this week. Gop signature collectors forged enough signatures to earn 79 felony charges. So, have they learned anything? Nah. Ottawa county declared that monkeypox vaccines only encourages monkeypox behavior, but reporting your boss to HR is just asking for trouble. Michigan fundamentalists rejoice in SCOTUS cutting LGBTQ rights yet blame women voters for giving them any rights in the first place. David goes deep into the strategies to save our friends and relatives from falling into radicalizing algorithm rabbit holes.   Minnesota hired its first Black police chief to begin addressing issues of racial profiling, and crime dropped. Maybe it was because half of the police force quit.

We’re on vacation this week, which means I’m only “working” three out of five days. But as you know, 3 out of 5 is 60%, and that’s enough to invoke cloture. The other 40% of the week is covered by re-runs. But not just any re-runs. They’re “Throwback Episodes!” Either because they’re so damned old, or because you’ll want to “throwback” some booze, to get over how bad the sound quality was in “those days.” Trust me, it’s better than a “throw-up episode.” So today, we’re taking you all the way back to July 18, 2016. What a time! What a year! What were we doing? Well, since you ask... David Waldman begins KITM with a coffee break, you should too, it will be a busy week! Greg Dworkin brings us the pre-convention polls. Hillary’s in the lead now, let’s see what the Trump/Pence bump brings the Gop. Will convention star power destabilize what has been so far stable polling? Clinton leads Trump 76 -14 with Latinos. Mike Pence finds he must go from Indiana, but then falls into the Von Clownstick Zone.  Taunting insiders inadvertently drove Donald Trump to show us he could run for president. Trump has made America more racist. Republicans are OK with that. Donald Trump turns out to be a fictional character, but a genuine “asshole”. Experts contend that Trump is bad at the art of the deal, but a natural at spinning the truth.  Journalists discover their inner Murrows. Trump and kids named in a $250M Tax Scam. Therefore, Hillary Clinton must not be just defeated, she needs to be punished. Poisonous toads are instinctive enemies in the wild.

This vacation week is all about the “throwbacks.” Well, two shows are about it, anyway. But as you know, 60/40 is what pollsters call a “statistical dead heat.” Anyway, like Tuesday, this Thursday’s re-run is about taking us back to a time when we didn’t yet know just how bad TFG was going to make things. We had an inkling. We just… didn’t think he’d get the chance. Remember those days? Well, we recorded them: David Waldman brings us up-to-date on all of the news and politics — no copying! The RNC convention tonight should feature Donald and Melania’s cover of “Something Stupid”. (But probably won’t.) Instead, it will be another night of terror. A Donald Trump minion falls on her sword for Melania. How Melania Trump’s speech veered off course and caused an uproar. Greg Dworkin rounds up the polling. So, who’s going to be president? And, who’s going to win the presidency? Hillary Clinton is the star of the Republican convention. Even Trump’s nomination doesn’t wow the crowd like Clinton. Only Hillary Clinton interests them. Their priority is to punish a Clinton. After the convention, immigration, guns and abortion will be wedge issues. With no alternative, a Gop policy leader comes to terms with Trump. You can elect Trump, but you can’t make him president. Joan McCarter emerges from the convention hell-hole to talk for a while. Joan picks Tiffany as the best Trump, the sons tying for creepiest. It is a close contest. Follow Joan back into the hell-hole on the Daily Kos RNC open thread for the latest! Chris Christie’s Kangaroo Court is a glimpse of a Trumpian future. With Trump's help, NJ Republicans pay Bridgegate legal fees. Christie says Trump could purge the government of Obama appointees. Megyn Kelly steps forward with allegations against Roger Ailes, so it might be time for him to pack up his $40,000,000 and head out the door. Ryan Bundy braids 15 feet of bedsheets, 213 feet short of his goal.

This week, David Waldman, sometimes known as “Kagro X”, arrived in the Bahamas, explored a host of diverse undersea flora and fauna, took in the exciting nightlife and made his mark in the hustle and bustle of the local culture, all in less than a week! Kagro will return… Monday. However, David did record another one-hour KITM Vacation Special, featuring Ace KITM Correspondent Rosalyn MacGregor! I exaggerate a little on this blog... However, a bored Chinese housewife was ten billion times worse, spending years creating an entire alternate Russian history on Wikipedia. Insurance companies won’t insure schools who arm their teachers because they don’t make money when they make dumb decisions. South Koreans have found that they have become younger recently, but in relative terms you will find that time moves slower in North Korea than anywhere else on earth. Susie Wiles, lobbyist for China, audience for Donald Trump, is also the daughter of Pat Summerall. Brazil’s supreme court ruled that Jair Bolsonaro abused his political power, attacked the electoral system and misused the media, and thus banned him holding political office for the next eight years. Apparently, Jair should have invested more in his judiciary. While the Michigan Republican party continues to FO, FA, and FA and FO some more, Democrats, the people in charge, pass historic voting rights legislation.

Kagro in the Morning is not so “Live!” this week. Jet-setting honcho of KITM Worldwide Enterprises David Waldman is reportedly “Live!” in the Bahamas  David did say that’s where he went, but other than that one picture, no one is even quite sure what Mr. Waldman looks like. No one is certain also about “Proud Democrat, a former field organizer for President Joe Biden and volunteer for the Obama Foundation”, Erica Marsh, but whoever she is, she is probably not any of those. (David however did record three brand-new 1 hour shows!  One is for today, the next for Wednesday, July 19, and the last drops Friday, July 21. We are back with full, live two-hour KITMs on Monday, July 24!) Fake left-wing troll Erica Marsh was kicked off Twitter, while real right-wing trolls are now making loads of cash. January 6 insurrectionists have been hauling it in as well, but the government they turned against wants to claw it back. Meanwhile, victims of gun violence still recovering from visible and invisible wounds are forgotten. Ace KITM Correspondent Rosalyn MacGregor has recorded reports for all of this week’s shows! The ball-busting, rib-cracking Michigan Republican civil war worsens, with maniac Gop Leader Kristina Karamo throwing away millions of RINO money connected to the last Republican Governor Rick Snyder, whose cash doesn’t smell as good as someone’s like William U. Parfet.

Another day on the road — actually, on the quad — which means we jump back in time 364 days, and roll out our July 14, 2022 episode for an “encore performance.” Why July 14th? Because it turns out I was on the road last July 13th, too! It’s just my way of getting a reverse-Eastern Orthodox jump on Bastille Day, I guess. Confused? Well, luckily for you, in “today’s” episode, I explain where I was and why. Where I was last year, that is. Where I am this year, you’ll have to wait until next reverse-Eastern Orthodox Bastille Day to find out. But here’s how we spent regular Bastille Day last year: David Waldman returns today from his local tour of giant statues honoring intermediate presidents, including a quick stop at the Senator Robert A. Taft Carillon. Not yet installed: The Senator Ted Cruz Swine Pavillion, and Senator Josh Hawley Transphobia Odeum. KITM Anglophiles, Yankee Brexiteers and Boris haters have questions, and Greg Dworkin is here with the answers, and the polls! Update:  The Republican story on the 10-year-old Ohio girl raped and pregnant first was "It's all a lie!", then, "Maybe she's a slut?", then, "Oh, so her rapist was an illegal alien!", to "We should probably execute her doctor." Stay tuned! The Herald-Tribune do have standards but can’t help it if their writers’ are too low, or their readers’ are too high. Fairfax County police drew guns on a juvenile recording on smartphone, because no one knows more than cops just how much pain those things can cause. It turns out that Mark Meadows caused all those bad things on January 6. Could Steven KG Bannon and Donald Trump be partially to blame for not reigning him in when they had the chance? Lindsey Graham, Juris Doctor, gets law-schooled. The Proud Boys, QAnon and The Oath Keepers all went where they were aimed. Senators in both parties who want to prevent the next Jan. 6 are not waiting for the select panel’s verdict.

Wow, it feels just like a Tuesday… said probably no one...  except us KITM listeners! That’s because we all look forward to David Waldman welcoming Joan McCarter and her latest analysis of DC machinations. Republican machinations usually involve impeding, obstructing, debilitating and devaluing the machinery of government. They only keep the government running so that they can continue to threaten to shut it down.  The stench of corruption grows around the Supreme Court, as it is revealed that Clarence Thomas’ Horatio Alger story isn’t rags to riches as much as it is whatever story billionaires want to tell Clarence before they tuck him in at night. North Dakota Governor Doug Burgum will give out $20 gift cards to the first 40,000 people who give him a dollar to be president. Vivek Ramaswamy hopes to outbid Burgum for their affection. Tommy Tuberville is totally against non-white racists. Republican women learn that their complicity will not protect them. School boards elected to fight Covid lockdowns then moved to fight against teaching black history and are presently against LGBTQ history. It’s pretty hard to teach history anymore. James Comer’s “Hunter Biden whistleblower” turns out to be an arm-dealing Chinese spy, somehow making Comer seem trustable, at least in comparison. TFFG wants a delay in his classified documents case, a forever delay if possible, or at least until he has time to judge the case himself. Meanwhile, Putin welcomed back his mutinous commanders, giving them all big kisses and sending them on their merry way.

Unlike next week, David Waldman and Greg Dworkin are here this week, except for Thursday... More on that later, but first, in the Barbie news, Vietnam, and Republicans are incensed over Barbie’s pinko leanings. The problem is, you never know if China is also playing. Are you threading? You or 100 million someones you know have already begun to thread.  Sure, that giant mass of Meta subscribers mostly flowed from their app of images over to their app of ideas, but it is that same giant mass that will eventually draw in the interesting ideas. So, if we all follow the news on Threads, the news will follow all of us over to Threads. And Elon Musk loses, so there’s also that. Tucker Carlson picked a bad time and place to be a MAGA superstar. Of course, his biggest mistake was being Tucker Carlson. It’s getting tougher for MAGA supporters every day. John Eastman is facing disbarment. Gop states quit the program that fights voter fraud, believing pretending there is a threat is better for them than facing it. School board members elected in rage over Covid school closings now busy themselves fighting culture wars. MAGA in Michigan have found governing to be a real kick in the balls. It’s now become a place where a guy with a doll in a noose might find it difficult to get elected. Republicans hoping for inflation and the economy to sweep them into office will soon have egg on their faces. Anyone with money can still buy a judge, however. Donald Trump thinks Kari Lake has become a little too easy. When do you comply with police, and when do you punch them? The answer is complex… wait, no it isn’t.

It’s Friday, and David Waldman performs a solo, all acoustic set: It’s a slow news week, so the Right has got to freak… Cocaine. They found some blow, they know it must be Joe... Cocaine. Who’s the bad guy, the good guy, the fall guy? Cocaine! The Supreme Court endowed White Christians with rights mulcted from the LGBTQ on the basis of imaginary damages. Were Justices being played, or were they playing along? Please explain... Why can’t Justices be cross-examined? Why can’t they even be questioned? (David explains.) I guess the only solution is to get more of them. A Trump-appointed district court judge in Louisiana issued an injunction against the White House working with social media companies to combat disinformation, following the precedent of legal minds Elon Musk and Joe Rogan. This will do more harm than good, which is probably the intent. Meanwhile the Gop is set to defund and dismantle any equal application of any law. Mark Zuckerberg’s Twitter killer is killing twitter, as would be expected when a few thousand disgruntled employees became gruntled over at Meta. Canada declares war on Zuck. Marjorie Traitor Greene picked on the wrong person this time: Lil’ Lauren Boebert. Joe Biden laughs. On the other hand, Yevgeny Prigozhin isn’t going anywhere, he’s a made man.

David Waldman, Greg Dworkin and all of us at KITM Worldwide wish all of you a very merry Christmas, and a joyful July 6: About a million people per hour are signing up to Meta’s Twitter, Threads. A lot of them have been on the rebound from their Twitter breakups, many have been biding their time in “side relationships”, while others have been waiting for Twitter to drop them first. A million people are on Facebook and Instagram at this very moment, telling each other they are too smart to sign up for a Zuckerberg social media platform. Some are looking at Threads and have found it wanting in its first hours out of beta. Others haven’t been able to find it on their internets. Threads will get better. Twitter will get worse. Americans just like to dislike things. They don’t love to hate things, though, which is where Ron DeSantis went wrong. DeSantis can’t be more Trump than Trump, even if Donald probably wishes he had thought of Ron’s alimony solution earlier. Mike Pence doesn’t really buy into that “rich need to pay their fair share” thing, might pardon Donald Trump, might finally soon have his mouth flap zipped. Meanwhile, Wisconsin Govenor Tony Evers used his veto scalpel to increase school funding annually for the next 400 years. Some already expect workarounds on the latest Supreme Court decisions and have been preparing in advance. Few expected them to overturn a 47-year-old precedent, however. The lawyer who presented a fake villain for that case isn’t the kind to look back.

Another day after another National Lee Greenwood Day, and just like last year David Waldman is presenting a yet another KITM under the cloud of more mass shootings and the rain of falling celebratory bullets. Greg Dworkin believes that it’s time to rescue those freedoms that we celebrate. A rogue, corrupt, and dumbass Supreme Court abolishes freedoms and strangles democracy. President Joe Biden could do something about it, and he probably is, but talking about things sometimes gets in the way of doing things. Joe is happy to do either, and is pretty adept at picking the right choice. Biden is on to Plan B for student debt. Bidenomics is turning out great, but not enough people know that. The markets feel it though. One form of affirmative action is no longer available because of SCOTUS, so maybe we should look into the others. Like it or not, Biden vs. Trump II is on. And like usual, Trump is losing. Not like DeSantis is losing, but still. Some Republicans believe a dozen or so impeachments will turn everything around. Donald Trump figures a dozen or so sets of gallows might do the trick. The White House might want to fight the forces of disinformation heading into this election, but a federal judge won’t let them. On the good side, Jack Smith is still picking through the classified document crime scene, and no one has stopped the prosecution of January 6 insurrectionist-tourists. Hey look! A Good Guy With A Gun citizen-shot a mass shooter! Except that the Bad Guy With A Gun only a shot a window before his gun jammed. And the GGWAG only then returned and shot the BGWAG… but a win is a win, right?

Happy July 4th! Yes, we’re doing a re-run. Joan was off for the day, and I had Scott down on my calendar as being out for the day, too. So I figured I’d sleep in celebrate America. I had to go with the July 5th episode from last year. Not just because I also took last July 4th off, but also because there really was an important thing to remember and acknowledge: Last July 4th was the Highland Park parade mass shooting. I can't believe we're not all still talking about a July 4th parade shooting! But we did last year. And here’s how we did it: David Waldman and KITM welcome everyone back from the 4th of July weekend. Injured? Shot? No? Then you did better than a lot of people. At a parade in Highland Park, Illinois, a guy climbed onto a roof and used his assault rifle for its intended purpose, which had also been his intended purpose for weeks. He left 6 dead, 30 injured, and then headed home, where he was gently apprehended by local law enforcement. The local law enforcement attending the parade could not be contacted for comment, or much else. The Chicago White Sox say this is why we can’t have nice things. As always, normal people have normal reactions to this, and abnormal people have abnormal reactions. Highland Park is the last place you’d expect this to happen. It’s definitely the last place Clarence Thomas expected it to happen. Highland Park wasn’t the only holiday mass shooting. It wasn’t even the only one in the Chicago area. There was panic at a Philadelphia, Pennsylvania fireworks show after shots rang out... Police were somehow injured, and a bullet somehow found its way into a cop’s hat. Philadelphia’s mayor is just tired of this stuff. (These weren’t the only fireworks shows with guns or panic, either.) Then there’s the mass shooting in Akron, Ohio. Although in this case, a mass of police were shooting a mass of bullets into just one guy, Jayland Walker. All of this adds up to… well, who knows, but don’t ask Nikki Haley, that’s for sure. The marshal of the Supreme Court wants to crack down on people making noise around the Justices’ houses, and also the people not making noise. Election deniers head out to the offices of their local officials who they know “respond to fear”. Meanwhile, the Supreme Court will dispose of everyone from Originalists to Schoolhouse Rock by redefining the meaning of “Legislature”.

By a 2-0 decision, voting along ideological lines, David Waldman and Greg Dworkin decided on making a Monday KITM: The Supreme Court ended affirmative action. Americans are divided on the court’s colorblind decision, literally by shade. Clarence Thomas gifted the US military and penal systems the Black people they need, well, for their own good, and to finally win that argument that he had back in college. Also, to teach Anita Hill, Ketanji Brown Jackson, etc. a thing or two.  Justice Jackson saw through all that and let Thomas know. Of course, these dissents are just liberal tears if nothing is done. It’s the era of judicial “pretzeling”… if that means lying and omissions to justify decisions. North Carolina Republicans are too extreme for even this Supreme Court and are still planning to burn it all down following the court’s decision. The first thing Jack Smith will do is come for the Lawyers. Will Bidenomics both help out people in rural communities… and convince rural voters to vote Democratic?

Doesn’t today feel like a Friday? David Waldman thinks so and prepares us for the weekend, although in the back of his head David’s preparing for his upcoming vacation week swimming with the pigs off Little Exuma... which reminded him of the sixth largest island in the Hawaiian archipelago, colloquially known as “Pineapple Island”, Lana’i. Did you know that “Lanai” is an architectural feature, prominent in southern states, a sort of a patio with a roof, or an unenclosed porch? That reminded David of… Say, this does feel like a Friday, doesn't it? Anyhow, David was reminded of that Florida man and his wife lighting up the pool boy with thirty AR-15 rounds when he turned up late one night. That dude sure messed with the wrong lanai. Where were we? Oh yes, the Supreme Court. They saved America for Asian Americans yesterday by routing a new generation of Black people into the Armed Forces and the prison system. Clarence Thomas finally got to win that argument he had back in college, just to have fellow Justice Ketanji Brown Jackson “OK Boomer” him. This could encourage more people to read up on Black History, but what college is going to teach it to them? Then again, who can afford to go? Then SCOTUS cut LGBTQ protections in favor of religious liberties. Really, the weekend can’t come soon enough for those guys.

Are you back for more? David Waldman and Greg Dworkin have got some more if that’s what you came looking for. TFFG wants everyone to remember that he is a moron and a liar, because that’s the only way he’ll get out of his mess. Unfortunately for Trump, he was caught on tape, knowingly telling the truth. Worse yet, Donald was forthright and self-aware in front of a witness, Susie Wiles, who MAGA will soon tie to Trump haters Ron DeSantis, Ronald Reagan, and Giants placekicker Pat Summerall. Donald Trump hasn’t given up on being truly, epically stupid yet, a strategy that has served him his entire lifetime. All Joe Biden has is quiet competence and a snoring problem, and you know which one of those most interests the Media. People who “disapprove” of Biden will probably eventually vote for him. Never Trumpers won’t have any other choice. The greatest minds behind the Trump Supreme Court could not rationalize independent state legislature theory... yet. They’re still working on it, and don’t worry they’ll come up with something. Now affirmative action, they’ve contemplated that most of their lives, and knew just what to do when they were given the chance. The overthrow of Russia is over. All hail Vladimir Putin! That’s optional, of course, but Russian leaders who choose not to shall face some tough questions, and some hard pavement several stories below them. It might be time to kick Russia while it’s down.

David Waldman and Greg Dworkin are ready for anything today, or nothing, whatever comes, or doesn't! Donald Trump can explain that tape with him bragging about having classified information, demanding people without clearance view the material, and admitting the illegality of it all. Trump points out that he has always been a lying moron, who randomly says things which are sometimes true, and absolutely no one knows what he could blurt out next.  Classified, unclassified, declassified… Donald doesn’t know and does not care. Whichever has the most bravado is what he’s looking for. That Iran memo was not among the 31 records in Trump’s federal indictment. What was Jack Smith thinking? The thing is, Jack Smith doesn't have to tell you what he’s thinking, but you can bet the goings on at Bedminster is a bigger part of it than he’s presently letting on. Kevin Reek McCarthy is almost smart enough to not blurt out everything going on in his head but will require a bit more training and discipline. The Gop is working on giving everyone a lot less history to remember. The US is far more globally popular under Joe Biden, and Biden’s support of Ukraine has a solid majority behind it. Biden’s economy has support from even the most conservative, although they won’t admit it, but maybe the word is beginning to get out to the public. That is why the election is inexplicably close, because of the doubters, the double doubters, the spoilers and the independents… at least we can all agree that Ron DeSantis sucks.

The big news today: David Waldman talked Greg Dworkin into hanging out with us for three segments! A win-win for all of us involved! It’s morning in Russia, or at least a wakeup call. Russians hit the snooze button and rolled over as Yevgeny Prigozhin’s Wagner troops rolled up to Moscow, then dozed off themselves. So now what? Whatever it is, Ukraine probably likes it. Kevin McCarthy is relieved that finally Putin has learned his lesson. Kevin McCarthy is confused about a lot of things. Impeach everybody? Or, expunge all previous impeachments? Why don’t we expunge the previous presidency, eliminating the corruption in the Supreme Court, and pre-righting the precedent on Roe? The remaining justices and the Gop would be thankful for returning their honor… at least to their previous status. The pro-choice movement has never been stronger, but of course people would rather have “choice” than “the movement”. Meanwhile, as expected, the court tossed the Trump DC hotel records case, and as not expected, cleared the way for Louisiana to draw a second majority-Black congressional district. Do you remember when you were growing up? Nikki Haley and MAGA apparently can’t and don’t want to. Not enough people are miserable enough to vote for Donald Trump, and fewer still are available for Ron DeSantis, because then they’d have to be miserable, deplorable and yet college educated. Joe Biden is ahead of TFFG with the non-miserable, non-deplorable, college educated, women, Latinos, independents, youth, etc.. Trump could drag down the Republicans, but on the other hand, Democrats are pretty good at losing.

Well, we have the upshot of the Lauren Boebert impeachment stunt now, and it’s more or less as expected. Shelved until further notice. So much for her super-smart plans for immediate action! On the other side of the coin, there’s finally a little progress toward accountability for Jan. 6 for John Eastman. The Gop cries foul and demands… something… about Hunter Biden. Again. Would more serious gun charges have helped them? Or hurt them? Seems the authorities were onto the idea that Bedminster needed searching, too. Good! A Gop guy you probably don’t remember, but who has been semi-mad at Trump has filed some paperwork that means you’re supposed to pay attention to him. Another Gop guy you probably don’t know — unless you’re from North Carolina and into corruption and group sex — is the subject of some paperwork, too. In another crystalline example of the perils of “why-don’tcha-just-ism,” please enjoy this second Gop failure to “build the wall.” And, for weekend thinkers: COVID’s not over and never will be, unless we think systemically, and; what happens when “normal” people take national security documents home with them.

David Waldman’s meeting went great, and Russ Stauffer likes us, which is also great, although I don’t believe David told us about the meeting or Russ on today’s KITM. David did however bring on Greg Dworkin, who may not know the answers to those questions, but does know the answers to almost all of the other questions, which is great. Former British PM Liz Truss apparently doesn’t have a head for politics, nor comedy. Justice Samuel Alito apparently hasn’t listened to many good alibis. Other than all the dying, the worst thing about reading all those articles about accidental shootings is seeing all the same tropes being used to avoid assigning any blame. AI was finally employed for good, to put the fear of Baphomet into God-fearing Hobby Lobby customers. Remember TFFG, Donald Trump? The “defendant” hasn’t had all that much fun lately. Trump’s plan is to crime maximally in order to reach escape velocity from his previous crimes. This is a brilliant plan, at least for Chris Christie, who can count on having more fun than just about anyone over the upcoming year. Outlawing abortion was always a wrong idea, including politically. The Gop is full of those ideas recently, censoring Adam Schiff for getting on their bad side, and planning on impeaching anyone whose name they can spell… and Joe Biden has a pretty easy to spell name. Even Lauren Boebert can spell that name. Marjorie Taylor Greene sure can spell Lauren’s name.

On today’s KITM, David Waldman celebrates the first day of summer, his mother’s (Momma X) birthday and the return of Greg Dworkin, here to supply a full hour of welcome cooperative overlap. (Except when Greg interrupts David mentioning me.) As the (very) submersible Titan continues its three-hour tour of the bottom of the Atlantic carrying Thurston Howells I through V onboard, signs of life might have been detected. Keep rocking till someone comes a’ knocking! It turns out that Hunter Biden is indeed guilty. Hunter feels guilty too and admits that, which isn't how a Republican would handle it, so they’re pretty angry right now. Justice Samuel Alito shows how it’s done, by drafting a pre-confession in support of ProPublica’s reporting on Sam’s grafty hijinks with his Republican megabuddy Paul Singer. Hurt and Angry voters are descending upon polling places. What's up with those people? It’s a tough time to be a competent non-demagogic public servant, or even the opposite. Donald Trump also has his popularity problems, but once elected plans to make popularity and voting concerns of the past. In the meantime, the Fifth Circuit federal court is coming for the First Amendment and Marjorie Traitor Greene, Lauren Boebert, etc. fill their empty hours filing impeachments.

David Waldman and we at KITM Worldwide wish you all a pleasant and thoughtful day following this Juneteenth. The submersible Titan showed it could submerge with the best of them, now going missing close to the wreckage of the Titanic on one of those ill-advised short tours with 5 passengers. With Donald Trump’s classified documents trial actually kind of coming up soon, TFFG is scrambling to get his “I’m just stupid AF” defense quickly disseminated with the help of Fox News. Vladimir Putin attempted to assassinate a defecting counterspy in Miami Florida. Second-worst human on Earth, Andrew Tate has finally been indicted on human trafficking and rape charges in Romania. Second-dumbest Republican in DC, Tommy Tuberville won’t release his hostage until he is given first place. Democrats can change the rules, but the new rules will just be out-dumbed. Joan McCarter reports how Democratics embrace the unwritten rules as the Republicans abuse any written ones they can find. The Gop doesn’t want anyone looking at their disinformation before they get it just perfect.

David Waldman and the KITM Worldwide staff wish everyone a pleasant and thoughtful Juneteenth. Greg Dworkin steers a raft o’ stories our way but wasn’t about to strain his voice and miss his chance to sing Vesti La Giubba at the Met, therefore he only stuck around for a half hour. Greg did take the chance to remind us that TFFG won’t get away with his crimes, or at least some of them, during his lifetime. Some of Trump’s crimes will require a lot more than a mere lifetime to punish him. But... shouldn’t we all be nice and pardon Donald Trump? After all, isn’t this all really due to Donald Trump’s beautiful mind’s love of boxes? That, and his sociopathic amorality and compulsive recidivism? Some in the Gop actually want to lay off working the refs for Trump for a while, while some are still into bringing in John Durham for a media disinformation op. Whoever wins out, the New York Times will always be there to back them. For some reason, so will the FBI and DOJ. Republicans prove they can multi-debilitate government with the faith of supportive nihilists. The Gop are ready to fix anything that doesn’t need fixing. Meanwhile, President Joe Biden is out there curing cancer.

David Waldman makes it to the weekend! Oh, and look, we’re here too. TFG is of course, unusually buoyant, but that doesn’t mean that he’s not sinking. This might seem like the last million times Donald Trump stepped in it, but this time by golly, Trump is in trouble. More Gop talking points are failing, more Gop rats are swimming for shore. Even Judge Aileen Cannon is getting antsy. You might ask, how does this spell trouble for the Biden administration? Well, perhaps you aren’t asking that, but Republicans sure are. Republicans might never have a lot of evidence or logic, but they always have a lot of questions. And a lot of practice confusing their being prosecuted for being persecuted. They’ll feel better once everything goes their way… although that will take some doing. Donald had all sorts of problems finding the legal advice that he was looking for, until he quit asking lawyers for advice. Unfortunately for Trump, the other side still uses lawyers, who continue to concentrate on his breaking of laws. Airman Jack Teixeira only wanted to win arguments with teenagers, but it looks as if the law will be a problem for him as well. Meanwhile, MAGA wants the shutdown that Kevin McCarthy stole from them, and doesn’t plan to wait two long years to get it.

David Waldman welcomes back Greg Dworkin for only a half-hour of collaborative overlap this morning, to give him a chance to recuperate.  Donald Trump was indicted and arraigned earlier this week, and the dumb hasn’t yet begun to die down. Trump’s trial can’t come soon enough… seriously, it should have happened years ago. Jack Smith could sidestep Aileen Cannon by charging Trump elsewhere, but why not charge him with something new? Critical evidence against Trump came from his own lawyers, which is about the only way they could get someone to listen to them. Why should Donald or any of his supporters care what anyone says at this point? One way or the other, it’s all downhill from here. The odds of government shutdown continue to grow as Republicans devise new ways to take and hold hostages. Dick Durbin says it would be tempting to not act like a sap, if only he wasn’t one. The Pyrex/Instant Pot bankruptcy story continues to explode, raining molten shards of nostalgia and speculation all over social media. Pyrex did sellout, but PYREX is still the GOAT, if you can find it. Red Delicious apples were never about you, but all about the marketing. The First Minister of Scotland, Nicola Sturgeon, surprised everyone by resigning, then really shocked everyone with her recent arrest. Boris Johnson didn’t surprise anyone with his resignation, finally. Oklahoma Republicans are lending a hand to the Trump Supreme Court to destroy the separation of church and state. The “LIV” in LIV Golf actually stands for “54”, which does not refer to number of individual segments of Jamal Khashoggi left around Istanbul, but rather the reduced playtime of their tournaments. A guy who dreamt of intruders in his home naturally became victim to a .357 Magnum nocturnal discharge. George Santos’ lawyer might beat him to jail.

David Waldman, and we, go for yet another day without Greg Dworkin, especially his collaborative interruptions. Greg’s still here in spirit however, as is his raft of stories.  One term, twice impeached, twice indicted, manifold humiliated Donald Trump was arraigned yesterday. If Donald quit being a criminal, this would quit happening to him. His supporters like him like that though, and neither they nor he will ever change. Now the case moves on to… Judge Aileen Cannon? Of course, Cannon should recuse herself, but that would require a level of judgement Judge Cannon has not yet demonstrated. The economy turned out to be a good hostage for Republicans, so Tommy Tuberville will try it this time with the Military. Illinois Governor JB Pritzker banned book banning for libraries in his state. The Saudis gave the PGA an offer they couldn’t refuse, and the Senate will be investigating how that came about. Today’s F-eulogy is for Silvio Berlusconi. A trend we might all look forward to. Sadly, Pyrex might soon pass away, as its endurance made it obsolete in a venture capitalist society.

Sure, it’s National Arraignment Day, but that’s not happening until, you know, after the show. So who cares? Besides, we should be — or should have been — more concerned about child labor. Or labour. Or how to spell it. Or perhaps our real concern should be with more basic child welfare. Because MAGA has infected Canada, and now we have creepy grandma and grandpa duos sexually harassing 9-year-old school girls, because freedoms. Soorry, eh? Today, we spent a little time talking about how bad assigning TFG’s case to Judge Aileen Cannon could be. But because crazy judges can just… do whatever… there’s no way of knowing how far off the rails we might go. And it’s not like the crazy stops with the judges. (As though that were somehow a comforting thought!) It’s all over the Gop mainstream. And if you stop to call it out when you see it, you become the next target. One comforting note: there was a surprise win for voting rights in the SCOTUS, recently. Better still, Joan McCarter came on to discuss it! And if there’s still any room for improvement here, check out her theory that it might just be public pressure that’s behind the victory. Want one more pleasant turn of the karmic wheel before you go? The House Ethics Committee is now free to reopen the investigation into Matt Gaetz. And they actually did it!

Join David Waldman and KITM Worldwide as we celebrate International Falafel Day! Normally Greg Dworkin would be here singing falafel carols with us, but apparently his special appearance on Friday’s KITM took it out of him and he’s out today. Get well soon! I was out the last time that Donald Trump was indicted! Either I need more days off, or Trump needs more indictments. Read the full text of the latest Trump indictment in the classified documents case. Are you not entertained? Trump has never been associated with subtlety and nuance and this will definitely not be the beginning. If you think this case is open and shut now, just wait until you hear the rest of what Jack Smith has to tell you… and the considered and rational Republican response… and their follow-up. Of course, Judge Aileen Cannon could see this all differently, as she is wont to do. Scottland’s former leader, Nicola Sturgeon, has also been arrested, and also says she’s innocent of any wrongdoing, but with less caps. Donald Trump’s spiritual bunga bunga, Silvio Berlusconi, is bunga bunga no more. Like Silvio and Donald, Russia has a few ardent supporters, and some who aren't. One way or another, their supporters are dropping like flies.

It’s already an unusual thing to do a Friday show that feels like a Thursday. After all, it’s not the first time that circumstances have warranted a special Friday appearance from Greg Dworkin. But this is, I think, our first Friday that felt like a Thursday that came following a Thursday that felt like a Friday. The top news of the day, of course, was that SCOTUS had ruled in favor of Jack Daniel’s, against its poop-themed dog toy-producing tormentors. No, wait. It was that the Austin real estate developer involved in the Ken Paxton bribery had been arrested. No, wait. That’s just what the Dallas Morning News thought. It was actually that TFG had been indicted — under the Espionage Act, among other statutes — just as expected. So naturally, Republicans everywhere began continued losing their minds. The transcript of TFG’s Bedminster confession was kind of interesting, too. Both for what it made overt, and for the deeper meaning. James Watt is dead! Tip of the hat for the introduction to the term, “f**k-eulogy.” You’ll never believe it, but the “Cyber Ninjas” were a fraud! This, revealed by the release of a cache of 30,000+ emails, ironically enough — if that sounds familiar. TFG also raided the Treasury for a million bucks, it turns out. In case that, too, sounds familiar. Just so you’ll know for the weekend: George Santos’ lawyer was in the January 6 mob. And for Friday esoterica, a theory on why food prices rise in general, and so much of late in particular. Plus a sort-of-related story about how “the system” tried to hand us a single, crappy apple, when we now know there was so much more and better available.

Today’s show felt so complete that by the end, I thought it was Friday! It was the end of the week for Pat Robertson, though. And another day of under the cloud of a mass fire, as well. But Greg Dworkin had other things on his mind. First, the wingnut temper tantrum in the House that has their own messaging bill agenda languishing in limbo, and “leadership” pointing fingers at one another. Hey, OK! Next, they can start killing rules for appropriations bills, if they want. A little later, we moved on to the original orange blob menacing the country in multiple jurisdictions, this time with his espionage. For some context, here’s the story of a guy who just got sentenced to three years in the clink for this. At least Mike Pence won’t have to vote for that guy, though. If you haven’t heard enough about what a problem Chris Licht types are, Perry Bacon has more. Hairdo Alex Jones is already getting sued by Fox. And in the “things to consider for the weekend, even though it’s not the weekend yet” section: Are pro golfers who spoke out publicly against the Saud regime going to be safe playing in the PGA, now that the Sauds own half of it? Is “peer-reviewed publication” the next big college admissions scam? They’re not the only ones to blame for diminishing the value of academic research.

David Waldman and Greg Dworkin arrive at the middle of the week to deliver the KITM, but the smoke is so thick it’s hard to read the house numbers... Canadian wildfires have given 100 million Americans incentive to wear their COVID masks this morning. No Schoolhouse Rock can explain this. The MAGA wing of the House, so screwball that Marjorie Traitor Greene is not screwball enough for them anymore, scuttled their own screwball bills, from enshrining gas stoves to defending the cherished accessorizing of firearms. Foreign nationals are kidnapped, and smuggled across state borders, while the perpetrator flees to the border. Why doesn’t the news report on this? Because they are too busy calling terrorists “emboldened shoppers”. Fair and balanced paste eater Chris Licht’s work at CNN seems to have ended before he could set up another Trump town hall. Donald Trump, who did not rape a woman that one time, might still face some lingering legal hurdles. A Florida grand jury will be hearing testimony from an assortment of MAGA Mar-a-Lago henchmen, lackies and homework-eating dogs. Saudi Arabia attempts to improve their public image by trashing professional golf’s. They got it half right.

Luckily for all of us today, David Waldman and Joan McCarter do make house calls.  Temu-Palin Lauren Boebert may not be certain where babies come from, but even Maury Povich could have told her which member of WWE tag team Midnight Express was not her father. Donald Trump hopes to stop the second E. Jean Caroll defamation case.  Trump hopes to stop special counsel Jack Smith from indicting him on his Mar-a-Lago crimes. Trump hopes to stop that other Federal grand jury in Florida from indicting him on his Mar-a-Lago crimes. If Trump had a dog, his diet would be 100% evidence by now. Who has it worse, Musk or Trump lawyers? At least for now Musk lawyers are being paid to admit the truth.  Eric Jensen found that he could receive attention and validation for being a lunatic, simply by choosing to act out at school board meetings. Marjorie Traitor Greene gets all that and even paid to act bananas in the House. Unfortunately for Marge, she is no longer cuckoo enough for MAGA, especially once they saw her holding Kevin McCarthy’s ChapStick. The Freedom Caucus just wishes they got used lip-gloss out of their budget deal. Better luck next time!

It’s quiet… too quiet. David Waldman and Greg Dworkin are here to fill the gap between not enough and too much news. CEOs must be smarter than their idiot employees, because if not, how could they explain their position? Those at the head of media companies must be the most brilliant, but also the most impartial and nonpartisan to succeed. CNN CEO Chris Licht believes he is just that person, although word around his shop indicates that Chris Licht eats paste. President Joe Biden knows the art of the deal, by separating those who wanted to deal from the MAGA. There’s now time to figure out the 14th Amendment and get back to work on all the other upcoming disasters in the 24 workdays between now and Labor Day. Donald Trump’s lawyers are over at the DOJ this morning fueling rumors Donald might… flip on himself? Maybe they’re just returning those Iran attack plans they found blowing down the fairway at Bedminster. A return to taking espionage seriously just might make America great again.

I missed you guys! I was only gone three days, but I’m not sure how anybody could take that. David Waldman is still here, right where I left him, thankfully.  On Monday it looked as if we might default this week. Now it looks like we will instead default in two years, that is if the Freedom Caucus is still around then. The US adds a big 339,000 jobs in May, exceeding estimates month after month just like President Joe Biden. Donald Trump, the Mona Lisa of persecuted White Christianity, is hoping to avoid those annoying prerequisites of achieving sainthood/dictatorship. Moral exemplar Roger Stone wants to lead the Christian Trumpists onward to… wherever they want to go to take whatever they want, a pretty traditional objective really. But first they’ll need to take on the forces of evil woke mermaids. It’s not sex nor money. The best way to get an idiot to spill information is to challenge their intelligence.  Donald Trump proved his intellect and judgment to a pair of randos with just some classified documents on Iran. Periodically, the smartest remaining Trump lawyer resigns, thus moving the peak of the bell curve over a few notches. It turns out that arranging to quickly kill the highest number of people wasn’t the best COVID health plan. James Comer might be on shaky legal ground on his investigation on Joe Biden, but all that legal stuff would just get in his and Chuck Grassley’s way.

Join us as Greg Dworkin assesses the guesses on how The Deal would go down in the House. (Spoiler: mostly correct!) And, of course, how the media did in covering it. (Spoiler: mostly incorrect!) But that’s more or less how the game is played. So, was there a deal between the party leaders to get this through? Depends who you ask! In fact, if you ask just the right questions, you’ll start to wonder whether the Gop even had a deal with itself. And since we’re not quite done with the debt ceiling just yet, here’s yet another good point about doing away with it. Meawhile, there’s some unrest afoot in Florida. Even in “conservative” areas. To no one’s surprise, DeSantis’ fascism just isn’t sitting well with everyone. And it seems the formula doesn’t always translate well when exported. There’s other news breaking in Florida, too. We’ll have to wait and see what else breaks along with it. In the surprise of the century, George Santos’ office is involved in some unethical, and possibly illegal, weirdness. Does today end in a Y? Yes? Well, in that case, here’s TFG confessing once again, on tape.

Today’s the day we all thought we’d be waiting for! The day Greg Dworkin had his first crack at the news of the week! Only it turns out we didn’t have to wait at all. And that the news was pretty much as Greg and Joan had predicted. In the end, it was mostly standard Gop budget fare. Nancy Mace got the attention she was craving, but only by feeding the narrative that Republicans are losers. That in turn fed counter-narratives that Biden had rolled ‘em. And, of course, that the whole thing was a terrible idea from the start. Then, the news turned weird. Tara Reade defected to Russia, which I didn’t know was still a thing. This fertility doc’s scheme was bound to fall apart. And so was his hand-made airplane, it turns out. No one would believe it, but that Florida mom trying to ban Amanda Gorman’s poem is mixed up in both anti-Semitism and with the Proud Boys! Things James Comer is losing: 1) witnesses; 2) marbles. In MAGA’s “good old days,” people knew to fight fascism, even when it was disguised as MAGA.

Longtime listeners know that it’s the daily rhythms of KITM World Headquarters that dominate the first few minutes of most shows. And today, it’s the end of an era, as we call a wrap on secondary education for the auxiliary production staff! But some cycles of life (and death) continue unabated. For instance, the ever-present Cloud of a Mass Shooting.™ And, of course, developments in Ukraine. Or more specifically, in Russia, as the battlefield is expanded, if not the battle itself. And we lean heavily on the APR today, even though Greg wasn’t here, and Greg didn’t even write Tuesday’s APR — so thanks to Chitown Kev for his unwitting contribution to the show! Naturally, the debt ceiling deal, including Manchin’s pipeline gambit and its attendant issues, followed by procedural developments in the Paxton impeachment. And, something we didn’t cover in yesterday’s abbreviated show: stuff from overseas lands where names are hard to pronounce. For today, that was Türkiye. The only possibly enjoyable angle on Ron DeSantis’ presidential bid: he’ll eventually have to attack Trump. Though it’s still possible that he’ll also fall down the stairs like Gerald Ford, too. For something completely different, and yet hearkening back to vague themes from episodes past, noted fist-pump-and-run enthusiast Josh Hawley is the latest to try to address the “crisis” of “masculinity” not with solutions, but with an eye toward exploitation. Joan McCarter once again defies the early West coast timeline and the crush of East coast job demands to join us for an update on the putative debt ceiling deal and to set up the mystery/cliff-hanger/dud of today’s House Rules committee meeting.

We at KITM Worldwide hope that you are at the beginning of a happy Memorial Day weekend and are experiencing a meaningful Memorial Day... But, don’t run away yet! We know that you love the process discussions on KITM, and that’s why you tune in. However, no one loves process discussions like Greg Dworkin loves process discussions. Greg used his considerable sway with top KITM brass to preempt this morning’s memorial observations and grill prep in order to help deliver today’s KITM Memorial Day Post Debt Ceiling One Hour Special with David Waldman.  So, what’s in this debt ceiling deal, and more importantly, who won? At the moment, it seems that the correct people are angry. Kevin McCarthy has too many loose cannons rolling around to call this a done deal. The House Rules Committee meeting on Tuesday will give a better idea of what a lousy vote counter McCarthy is. It will also give us better idea on what Hakeem Jeffries is made of. Accountability has not finally come to Texas. For all the wrong reasons, Ken Paxton was impeached, simply a pawn in a petty Republican feud. Ok by me.

On today’s Special Friday KITM, David Waldman reports on the local and national news, the murderers, pedophiles, arsonists and catfishers, the cops and the criminals. We are also reaching the denouement of our present debt ceiling crisis. It’s either that, or a smash cut to black next week. The Democrats brought the house down in the final act, although it could have used a little more “Trump”. It always helps to have a great opening act though. If you thought the Democrats were on fire, you should have seen the dumpster Texas Republicans threw AG Ken Paxton into. If anyone can place the bar low, it would be the Texas Gop. Nonetheless, Ken Paxton managed to go even lower, for years, until he finally got under it. Speaking of being finally held responsible, Oath Keepers Founder Stewart Rhodes has been sentenced to 18 years in prison. That shouldn’t be a problem for a tough guy like Stewie, at least until he runs into the other tough guys he in put in jail.  Lifelong warrior against the forces of responsibility and accountability, Donald Trump is caught in a pinscher movement of his own making,  from defrauding the US government to serving corruption around the world, to withholding classified documents, to hiding classified documents, to rehearsing the hiding and withholding classified documents. Ace KITM Correspondent Rosalyn MacGregor reports that not only are Michiganders holding nine Trump lawyers accountable for their misconduct in the state, but they themselves have been demonstrating responsibility at the polls. Faculty members at the New College of Florida are voting to censure Ron DeSantis’ puppet Trustees for showing disinterest in performing their actual jobs. The Florida mom who sought to ban Amanda Gorman’s poem, yet approved the publication of the Protocols of the Elders of Zion, asks how can a mom find the time to actually read all those things she promotes or obstructs? Georgia Gop Chair Kandiss Taylor has taken the time to read every one of the articles that unequivocally reflect her opinions, especially her opinion of a flat earth, and yet every day someone will try to shove their globes down her throat.

One lone Karen was behind the ban on Amanda Gorman’s poem. Though Karen was pretty sure it was Oprah Winfrey’s. Greg Dworkin rounds up the reviews panning DeSantis’ attempted Twitter-based campaign launch. Rough seas ahead for Medicaid enrollees, if the Gop gets its way. Republican voters do like their big dummies though. The Oregonian Gop is in fact proudly illiterate. The judge in the other E. Jean Carroll lawsuit against TFG suggests the DoJ might want to take a moment to reconsider how wise it is to continue to pretend Trump was acting in his capacity as “president,” when he opened his fetid gob. The dog has caught the car, and the car turned out to be a leopard. Dobbs unites Ds, splits Rs. Hey, remember the debt ceiling? While we wait for possible armageddon, here are yet more hot takes on our various options. By the way, did you remember that the debt ceiling and the filibuster are cousins? I don’t know if Mike Lee knew that when he threatened to filibuster any deal he doesn’t like, but it’s true. Apparently, people at Fox News actually do know that “no means no,” when it comes to turning the screws on Tucker Carlson, anyway. Which is fine! Noted for the record, but deferred for further consideration: Ken Paxton is too scummy for the Texas Gop!

David Waldman and Greg Dworkin! KITM Wednesday! Everyone expected Ron DeSantis to run for president. Except for maybe Ron DeSantis, who is probably pretty shocked that he did decide to go for it. Of course, if Ron did not run, $200 million would just be sitting in the bank, not going into anyone’s pockets, and what good is that? The actual surprise is that DeSantis will launch his presidential bid with Elon Musk, on Twitter. Here’s looking forward to the first DeSantis town hall on Tumblr. If CNN want to represent true journalism, they’d… but they don’t. There’s also Tim Scott announcing his candidacy. Yes, Republicans do enjoy their people of color (and women) as long as they’re smiling. Not enough to actually elect them, though. But who do the voters really want? Ok, but who else is there? Donald Trump will only be allowed to run for 20 minutes each morning during exercise time. Republican voters do like their big dummies though. The Oregonian Gop is in fact proudly illiterate. No one will be voting for anyone unless we rescue the economy soon. Which is a good a reason as any for Republicans to oppose saving it. They’d rather shoot their hostage than negotiate with President Joe Biden anyhow. Indeed, why not take this negotiation time to dispatch with a few more hostages? What if the press covered the Supreme Court as if they were real people? Non-woke investments aren’t as attractive once they are sued.

David Waldman presents the Tuesday KITM.  All of the argle you expect with none of that annoying bargle.  Joan McCarter won’t be summering in Krasnodar this year, as Vladimir Putin is expanding his enemies list to include anyone unfavorable to MAGA. Marjorie Taylor Greene spent $100,000 for a ChapStick used by Kevin McCarthy. Kind of expensive for her to pay that for cherry, as it would cut into the Kevin flavor... Other than Marj and Kev, people are still being advised to wear masks in public. Donald Trump was the one responsible for Dominion picking up an extra $787 million this year, but somehow received nothing in commission. He’s going to need some cash to cover his serial defamation lawsuits with E. Jean Carroll. As luck would have it, the only texts Ron DeSantis did not ban are the ones that look to get him in the most legal trouble. DeSantis is in a race with Trump to get his hands on a Supreme Court to keep himself out of jail. In the meantime, the LOLYOLOMAGASCOTUS shadow docket might lift gun bans nationwide. McCarthy’s parched lips are apparently still talking to President Joe Biden about a debt ceiling deal, but that doesn’t seem to really be what Kevin’s talking out of. The courts will decide on the 14th amendment sooner or later, so Joe might as well take the lead.

On today’s KITM, David Waldman reveals that he’s almost finished pushing his babies out of the nest and will soon be able to devote all of his time and energy into getting his own breakfast together. Greg Dworkin is here to recoup the deficit in the media’s coverage of the debt ceiling fiasco. Kevin McCarthy has been betting with a very weak hand, but that hasn’t stopped him on continuing to raise the stakes. The outcome will be disastrous, if we even approach default. President Joe Biden is still trying “good cop, bad cop” when he probably needs to just go “bad cop” and let the courts sort it out. You’d think that Donald Trump and Rudy Giuliani selling pardons would have been a big deal, but it was so unsurprising and expected that the media passed right over it. Alvin Bragg’s case against Trump points to plenty of statutes violated, but if tfg campaigned from prison would much change? Now, if he were to be re-elected, that would leave a mark. Trump’s simple 2024 proposition is to break any law he wants, and to declare anybody he chooses to be a lawbreaker. Savvy critics such as Axios say that the Donald Trump plan to rebalance power to the executive branch just doesn’t seem to have the funding in place to be successful.

On KITM, David Waldman cleans out the news and opinion fridge each week, then on Fridays scoops the rest off of the floor, metaphorically, I believe. “You go woke, you go broke”, some say. That’s Ron DeSantis’ working theory anyhow, although that theory might need a bit more work before it reaches any general acceptance. Of course, anti-woke’s biggest fans hope that everyone stays asleep while they burgle their valuables. Robocallers out of Wisconsin picked up $89 million from the dopes who still answer their phones, who also thought they were helping firefighters and veterans. If you had $89 million, you’d donate it to Atoosa Reaser and Juli Briskman. The FBI raided a Trump Tower owned by a couple of Russians, in yet another example of the weaponization of government against “organized crime”, and quite often Trump organized crime. Gym Jordan won’t share “whistleblower” testimony with Democrats, because if he did Dems would just make fun of him some more. Russia doesn’t need Trump when they have Boeing and Airbus. Senator Dianne Feinstein has shingles, encephalitis, Ramsay Hunt syndrome, and probably a lot more. But she’s apparently here, ostensibly voting, and work is getting done, let’s not wear her out with a lot of stress.

David Waldman and Greg Dworkin marshal their wits one last time this week for the Thursday KITM: Tuesday’s elections showed Democrats (by the way of young voters) advancing everywhere across the board, not just overperforming Republicans, but reopening the front to win back rural voters, kind of like how George Washington won the Battle of Fort Necessity in 1754… Okay, nothing like that really, because little can compare to Donald Trump and his MAGA forces. Certainly not Ron DeSantis. Ron is making trans lives illegal in Florida and will be outlawing “pronouns”, earning him the endearment of no one, because who would expect such haters to actually like anyone? Well, they used to like Tucker Carlson. Tuck’s viewers found a short blip of hate at CNN’s town hall, but it just didn’t last. CNN’s chief international anchor, Christiane Amanpour, is one of the first to criticize her company and her boss on their lamebrain idea. Town halls, audiences and Donald Trump should be abolished from TV before 2024. Now Vice President Kamala Harris... Who wouldn’t want to have a beer with her, or a town hall? President Joe Biden not only has to fight ageism, but there are plenty of closet sexists he has to also worry about. A new federal lawsuit says Florida book bans are unconstitutional, which is not only a problem for Florida zealots, but any others using those “book banning in a box” kits nationwide. North Carolina Republican Jeffrey McNeely reached into the totally wrong box in his school choice debate. Twitter, a forum for diverse ideas, opinions, child porn and animal torture, has become exactly the rectum Elon Musk has always dreamt of spending his every waking moment and dollar inside. President Guillermo Lasso of Ecuador, no relation to Ted, will not only take his ball and go home, but plans to just dissolve the league before he exits the field.

David Waldman wishes you all a festive, yet introspective, National Day of Norway. Greg Dworkin rounds up the election news, which looks pretty good for Democrats, especially in how it looks bad for Republicans. The Trump culture of winning, that is losing, is alive in Kentucky and elsewhere. In a major upset, Florida Democrat Donna Deegan becomes Jacksonville’s first female mayor. A non-Republican also flipped the most Republican city in Colorado. As all politics is local, voters like their most local politicians to be Democratic. Nebraska forced two bad bills into one, and now plans to force it through the legislature, which might break rules and not follow procedure, but they really don’t know what they’re doing, so how would they know? Once there is a Republican majority, that is all they have to know, and after that the rest is optional. Republicans do understand force, and their plan is to teach us all the meaning of “might makes right”. Meanwhile, Ukraine and Germany show us how it’s done. Don’t knock John Durham. The job was to make a lot out of nothing, and John did make a lot of money, visited a lot of beautiful tourist spots around the world, and generally expense accounted for a lot longer than most people could ever dream to pull off. In between swipes of his American Express card, Durham artfully repackaged old investigations into new BS, then regifted it back to MAGA propagandists.  Over at The Messenger… well not there, as the link 404s out, but according to some people, The Messenger rates the report at less than half of a nothing burger. Don’t knock The Messenger. Its job also is to make a lot out of nothing.

Like a bad—nay, loathsome—penny, Rudy Colludy returns. This time, it’s noun, verb, sexual assault. Calling all Privateers of the Caribbean!™ Clarence Thomas’ billionaire pal Harlan Crow has bought himself an offshore dual citizenship. The House of Representatives has been… less than representative for quite some time, now. From time to time, there have been proposals to expand it, and thereby hopefully bring the Representatives a bit closer to their constituencies. But… where would they put them all? Well, they could make a little more room by getting rid of Paul Gosar, seeing as he’s been employing Nazis and all. Joan McCarter came by to count down the seconds left until we hit the debt ceiling. Remember when certain bloggers urged Congressional Dems to take the debt ceiling hostage off the table while they still could? But then they didn’t? Yeah, me too. Well, now there are only a few options left, besides, well, just giving in. Meanwhile, other looming disasters include a backhanded, shadow docket SCOTUS ban on gun bans, and Rep. Comer’s continuing insistence that the dog ate his homework, but would probably barf it up soon, soon, very soon. Perhaps two weeks, or some other very short period of time.

Following a long weekend David Waldman was back at KITM World Headquarters humming Pomp and Circumstance and expecting a light news day. Greg Dworkin changed all that with his Heapin’ Raft O’ Stories™. You may recall that sexual assault and defamation verdict against the former guy last week. Donald re-defamed E Jean Carroll a few hours later, so perhaps Carroll could rinse and repeat until Trump gets it, if we should live so long. Mirror universe Michael Dukakis, Ron DeSantis isn’t just awkward. Ron hates people right down to his core. At least Trump enjoys using people. Some people like to be used. DeSantis and his followers are just into the beat down, which only succeeds for so long. The prospect of Trump’s nomination is shrinking the Senate’s prospects in 2024. Virginia is the eighth red state to quit caring about voter fraud. James Comer was so close to sending every Democrat since the Carter administration to Gitmo, but then his dog ate all the witnesses. That’s ok, they can always make some new ones. President Joe Biden’s first veto takes on the Republicans’ war on “woke capitalism”. If they love Russia so much, why don’t they move there? Religious Gimme-terians tend to be Political Gimme-tarians when it suits them, of course. They just need to follow their faith to the correct precinct. 

David Waldman is attending his #1 son’s graduation! It seems like only yesterday we were listening to the little guy running the microwave and clinking silverware on plates… Sniff!  So, David is traveling today and out tomorrow. Today, however, we have a fresh pre-recorded Mini-KITM episode, at least mini for us at one hour: Last night CNN had TFG on for the longest hour in TV history. Now even they are asking “Whose fault was that?” The answer is, every single one of us. We need to straighten up soon before it’s too late. South Carolina State Senators have formed a group opposed to the abortion ban in their state. The group is comprised of all of the state’s women Senators, Republican, Democratic, and Independent. It is South Carolina we’re talking about, so there’s only five of them. Oklahoma is banning more than a dozen banks for “being too woke”.  You know that since it is Oklahoma, their definition of “woke” isn’t centered around CRT or LGBTQ, but OIL. Saudi Arabia is pumping water out of the Arizona desert to grow alfalfa to feed to their dairy cattle in their desert.

On the road for college kid’s graduation, so it’s into the Hot Tub Podcast Time Machine! We go so far back, May 12 was a Thursday! That’s a full year back! If you don’t remember it exactly as it happened, here’s a reminder: Not to underestimate you, but David Waldman and Greg Dworkin probably deliver as much KITM as you can handle today. Russia continues to not win in Ukraine.  Some would say they are losing. Some, like the Institute for the Study of War. Some, like Ukrainian soldier on the ground in charge of blowing up stuff, Максим. Sanctions are turning Russia into a place Borat would be ashamed to work for. Russia is pulling electronics out of their washing machines in order to keep their military running. Russian soldiers will wish they had pulled the SIM cards from their phones when the Switchblades lock on them. Remember when Republicans openly loved Russia? If only public opinion mattered to abortion rights. Mitch McConnell is unlikely to dump the filibuster to ban abortion until the very second he can. Joe Manchin might be a Republican, but that doesn’t mean he always votes on a party line… unless it’s against abortion rights. Well, that Supreme Court leak investigation deescalated quickly. Susan Collins and Stephen King live in the same neighborhood, of course. One of their neighbors used chalk on the sidewalk, not for hopscotch or Valentine’s hearts, but in order to deeply concern Susan Collins. Elon Musk is bored with Tesla. Soon, he will be bored with Twitter. A popular GQP wacko might out-Trump all Republicans in Pennsylvania. She might even win her Senate nomination before conceding her 2020 House loss. That is Trumpy. The important elections however are for secretaries of state, as they are the ones who will install future Trumps. The math wasn’t going Donald Trump’s way in 2020, so John Eastman had a plan to install his own math. Baked Alaska came up with the novel idea of pleading guilty with a side-plea of innocence for his involvement on the insurrection January 6. Too novel for the judge, apparently. The January 6 Committee subpoenaed Kevin McCarthy, Jim Jordan, Mo Brooks, Andy Biggs and Scott Perry, which is a good start.

David Waldman and Greg Dworkin LOL at TFG. That was the main order of the day, and there were multiple angles of approach available from which to do it. From watching Gop Senators’ sputtering reactions, to watching the Gop rank and file’s sputtering reactions, to watching, er… Chris Christie supporters’ sputtering reactions. Oh, and pollsters’ sputtering reactions at having to measure people’s sputtering reactions. But perhaps you were more interested in sputtering reactions to some other Gop figure’s legal woes. George Santos, as usual, would have you more than adequately covered. Need still another despicable Gop figure to revile? How about Tucker Carlson and his legion of degenerate nihilists? The execrable Lindsey Graham? Or perhaps you prefer to focus on the vapid destructiveness of Gop policy, in the form of debt ceiling and budgetary recklessness? Or what could happen once we’re forced to clean up the mess? “Inflation.” It sucks. Or at least, something that they’re telling us is inflation does. Hey, guess where bad guys get their guns? From “good guys” with guns, of course. Or “good guys” who had guns at the time, anyway. And just to take one last (completely fair) shot at TFG, he doesn’t just assault women.

David Waldman and Joan McCarter bring us up-to-date, and up-to-Tuesday morning news and opinion. While we bide our time waiting for the next mass shooting, the media informs us that several very nice people have been killed by a very bad person. However, Greg Abbott and the Right want you to believe that both sides are to blame. You know what? So does the media.  Both sides (all of them women) join to block South Carolina’s near-total abortion ban. Ron DeSantis has picked Disney as the hill to die on and will pave the road there in radioactive waste. In Florida, butt crack = pornography, thus all Floridians are criminals. A Wisconsin judge is ordering that the state elections commission reconsider a complaint against its fake electors. Stewart Rhodes wants the court to consider his years of running an "all-volunteer" organization, AKA the “bin Laden” defense. Enrico Tarrio wonders how his boss got away with it. Donald Trump wonders why everyone’s always picking on him. Harlan Crow sure isn’t paying for your kid’s school, because that would be a lousy investment. Anita Hill did raise a few red flags over Clarence Thomas, as you may recall. Those red flags have only multiplied over the decades. Dick Durbin has “everything is on the table”, where he plans to pretty much just leave it. Gerald Ford showed that Supreme Court justices could be impeached... or not impeached as the case may be. Trump and McConnell already packed the Supreme Court, and they, and you, and I probably won’t live to see that changed. Meanwhile, Republicans threaten the world economy unless they are allowed to destroy the US economy. President Joe Biden will keep trying to fix things, but the hero might just end up being… Mitch McConnell?

David Waldman and Greg Dworkin present another KITM Under the Cloud special, which ain’t so special anymore. There is no reward for reaching the 200th mass shooting of 2023. Presently, there is always the threat of being shot because taking lives has never been easier or more convenient. The Allen, Texas shooter didn’t take the time to park his car. The Brownsville, Texas killer was too lazy to even use a gun.  Ted Cruz and Greg Abbott couldn’t be bothered to think of anything new to say or plan to have anything new to do. They see massacres as natural disasters, “acts of God”, so let God fix it. In fact, why do anything if God will do it all for you?  Let’s pray that the latest slaughter will bring an epiphany to those who can enact change. For now, however it is a civil war, but only with one side fighting it. Texas mass shootings are up 62.5% since they passed their permitless carry bill. President Joe Biden prepares to lift the debt ceiling onto his own shoulders. Republicans don’t mind ruining everything, because it all seems to hurt Biden and help Donald Trump… at least in the short term, and isn’t that always their plan? The short term is certainly how the media sees things, and certainly how they plan on seeing Trump, because who wants to hear about all that past unpleasantness? Wouldn’t it be fun if Donald received a gag order the day of his town hall? At least eight of Trump’s fake electors in Georgia accepted immunity deals in that grand jury investigation. Oath Keepers leader Stewart Rhodes might get 25 years in prison. A lot of pigeons will be fighting for that stool.

David Waldman wishes us a happy Dia Cinco de KITM Celebraciones! Another day another set of specifics on why no one has trusted Clarence and Ginni Thomas for a least a generation. Leonard Leo, whose job is buying influence, bought $1.6 billion worth recently, paying a chunk through bagwoman Kellyanne Conway into the pockets of Ginni Thomas, making certain to not mention Ginni, which makes them all look as innocent as hell. The Proud Boys find themselves going to jail, much to their, and their followers’ surprise. Punching up, instead of punching down was the big mistake, and the Boys learned their lesson. MAGA learned the lesson of January 6: People get in trouble for insurrection, therefore the people you want in trouble must be insurrecting.  Texas prison guards put a woman in isolation for knowing more about abortion than they did. Texas schools, concerned that kids nowadays have become too into idolatry, adultery, and covetousness, are posting the Ten Commandments in every classroom. That might be Moses’ thing, but Jesus would not do that. In Ohio, Republicans are quickly shutting down voting rights and hope to slide it in August, when no one’s looking. Meanwhile, Oregon Republicans refuse to vote on things with the big words that wear their lips out. Ace KITM correspondent Rosalyn MacGregor marks the retirement of Michigan’s last racial/ethnic school mascot. Covid drops to the fourth biggest killer, so you know WHO declares the emergency over. Fox News demands that Media Matters quit publishing their Tucker Carlson leaks. Jim Justice is running against Joe Manchin for Senator. Many hope that Jim’ll win so he can pay them the money he owes.

Aye! May the farth be with ye! Arrrrh! Wait... I’ve just been notified by the control room that I’m referencing the wrong holiday… Us let check in with David Waldman and Greg Dworkin the latest news, on? Hmmmm? Yes? Hm? Harlan Crow paid the private tuition of over $6000 per month for Clarence Thomas’ grandnephew. Buddies pay for expensive installments so that their buddies will stay buddies throughout the payment period. It was mighty white of Tucker Carlson to hold the same standards behind and in front of the camera. Those are Fox standards as well, so that just isn’t why Carlson was fired. Nonetheless, Fox is paying the price for his loss. Donald Trump doesn’t like losers, so he’s heading over to CNN for a “town hall”, which is scheduled right in Tuck’s old time slot, in case a few hundred thousand Tucker fans have nothing to do that night. If CNN wants to reduce the harm of giving Trump the microphone it can, but if it’s setting up to be Fox Lite, it won’t. There’s still money to be made off Trump. How much or how long no one knows, and some don’t care. Donald’s lawsuit against his niece and the New York Times has been thrown out. Trump apparently had something better to do than attend his own trial for rape. E. Jean Carroll would have been the one being punished had she pushed to convict Donald Trump any earlier. Even now, it takes more than two dozen Trump rape victims to even count.   Once the diligent jury on the Proud Boys sedition trial got their stapler, they were ready to give their verdict, guilty of seditious conspiracy for Jan. 6 Capitol attack. Roger Stone’s barrel beckons him. Now if you want to see a guy go to jail, keep your eye on Herschel Walker, because should be soon and it will be quick.   Ohio Republicans solution to potentially losing a vote on abortion rights is to eliminate the right to vote. Oregon Republicans just eliminate anyone’s chance of voting.

David Waldman and Greg Dworkin our present our annual KITM Star Wars Day Eve Special, this year spoken in Shyriiwook for all our Kashyyyk followers! Huurh awwgggghhh wrrhwrwwhw uuh huuguughghg! Another day, another Tucker Carlson Fox leak. No, that wasn’t why Carlson was fired. That’s how they all talk at Fox. Expect scandalous Tucker Carlson leaks to continue until Rupe’s ex admits that she was wrong to crush on Tuck. Ron DeSantis isn’t the first child to throw a fit at Disneyworld, and sure won’t be the last. Disney has been setting up to win this case for a while now, and by “win” they mean to make DeSantis and his supporters lose. That whole thing about law cutting both ways has always annoyed conservatives, chiefly the part about the defendant discovering what the other side has up its sleeve. The Right doesn’t care how much money they need to pour into court manipulation, or who they pour it into, although that is one of the reasons why George Mason University doesn’t call it the David Waldman School of Law. Bidenomics has replaced Reaganomics, and yet no one seems to be happy about anything anymore. Republicans therefore see little downside in just burning it all down, especially Marjorie Traitor Greene. Kevin McCarthy’s problem is that each Republican House member thinks that they are Marjorie Traitor Greene. Close only counts in horseshoes, hand grenades and debt limit chicken, so nobody will be blinking soon. Democrats have seen this coming however and might have some procedural tricks up their sleeves. Maybe everyone’s been doing the debt limit wrong all along.

May returns for a second May-filled day, on KITM, featuring David Waldman, plus Joan McCarter! Some lefty “Kagrohead” recently penetrated the MSM, appearing on CBS’s Face the Nation as a parent weighing in on how gun violence is impacting their children. (And I got my bird into the background!) This National Teacher Day, show your appreciation and support by keeping guns away from them and schools and challenging gun nuts whenever possible. The US debt ceiling needs to be raised by June. That’s June 1st, by the way. And, with the way things are organized in DC, June 1st is sooner than you’d think or at least sooner than they think. In fact, Mitch McConnell says he doesn't even plan to get involved until Kevin McCarthy and President Joe Biden work things out. Joe needs to leave Kevin and Mitch out of this and go it alone. So much for that Gop promise to “save” Social Security and Medicare. The Senate will hold hearings on the real pain being delivered in the Republican plan.   Ethics reforms? John Roberts says his gang don’t need no stinking ethics reforms, as they move to grab even more power for themselves and fellow judges. They’ve been corrupted for years, and now people want to talk about it?  Fox News is going to leak a new Tucker Carlson story every day until Rupert Murdoch gets a new fiancée who likes him better. I think we can all agree that this is a good idea. Discord attracts US Armed Forces recruiters, foreign spy recruiters, and gamers. When it’s everybody vs. everyone, anything is possible, and everything is up for grabs.

It’s May Day ya commies! In fact, it is even if you aren’t. David Waldman and Greg Dworkin frolic and banter around the KITM maypole/microphone today to kick off the month. Donald Trump’s rape trial reveals Trump’s defense: E. Jean Caroll told Donald no... and laughed, naturally triggering Trump’s rape... am I right guys? Even Trump’s lawyers see this as not a winning gambit but argue that anytime Trump “loses” it would be unfair by definition... Denied! How is Donald Trump losing his other court cases? Quite bigly! Trump is losing just fine in Georgia, although DA Fani Willis gets some more time to work out how much. Special Counsel Jack Smith must be grinning ear to ear watching evidence pouring in from all corners on everything from Mar-a-Lago to January 6th. Presented with an opportunity for insurrection, January 6 rioters didn’t need to discuss what to do and didn’t hesitate because they had rehearsed that moment many times in their heads. Brett Kavanaugh, if your friends take your penis and rub it on an unconsenting girl’s face, they aren’t really your friends. First Republic Bank fails, is seized and sold. That’s the kind of thing that might come up in the 2024 elections. So will Republicans defaulting on the debt ceiling. Beware Nikki Haley pretending that she’s a moderate… and also Joe F Lieberman. There’s an art to running for President. Joe Biden has the artist’s touch, all he needs is to do is both keep his brushstrokes wide and pay attention to the details.

David Waldman delivers the Last KITM of the Week as usual, towards the end of the week, but unusually, with a time slot devoted to showcase up and coming talent. No, not Nick Mohammed, but Ace KITM Correspondent Rosalyn MacGregor, here to explain how the youngs are taking over the world, a phenomenon somewhat underappreciated by some of the olds. Tucker Carlson, about to be handed the helm of the SS Newsmax about ten feet from impact with Dominion, enjoys pulling the wings off flies, nearly as much as convincing others to do so. Now, is that Christian behavior? Well, it is the behavior Rupert Murdoch’s fiancée swooned over, which could be why she’s an ex-fiancée, and Tucker’s an ex-Fox employee. Vladimir Putin’s public acts of religious piety make him more powerful and even more dangerous, so a no-brainer on that decision. What does Donald Trump want from another term? Revenge. If he needs to promise MAGA voters revenge, that’s OK with him too. The Senate voted to overturn Biden’s truck pollution limit, 50-49 without Dianne Feinstein. Trump says electric car batteries throw dirt in the air. Supreme Court justices aren’t supervised, and like it that way. Montana state Rep. Zooey Zephyr returns to work but is still ostracized by the Gop in control. Meanwhile, Kansas has banned trans people from schools, prisons, women’s shelters, rape crisis shelters, and locker rooms. A Nebraska Democratic lawmaker is under investigation because she has a trans child. Marjorie Traitor Greene not only believes transgenderism is as dangerous as guns, she believes the danger of guns is transgenderism... Or that transgenderism is mass shooting? Gee, who knows with her. The only way transgender persecution will be addressed is when enough Republican children choose to be trans. A Washington target shooter missed his target and hit a nearby orchard worker in the face. A guy excused himself from a date to go shoot someone, and returned before his order was served. A failed Gop candidate stepped out of a Republican committee meeting to fetch his gun.

Pull up a chair, bring out your bag of Eastern Orthodox pretzels, (Which are kind of a thing? Maybe I shouldn’t open with this gag? Oh well.) and listen to today’s Thursday KITM with David Waldman and Greg Dworkin! Tucker Carlson’s prayer talk creeped Rupert Murdoch out, but kind of turned on Rupe’s soon-to-be ex-fiancé... In retrospect, that could have been seen as a “faux pas”, or maybe a “Fox pass” on Tucker’s part. Perhaps it was calling Fox senior executive the C-word, and refusing to apologize, or retract said word, or that he was a racist who would never shut up, or that he was a clear danger to America... I guess we’ll never know, as anonymous sources are every bit as full of crap as he is. Like Gilgamesh, or even Gargamel, his is a myth that grows upon repetition. What is true is that Tucker Carlson not only liked to pull the wings off of flies, but Tucker also made it his mission to convert millions into finding joy and comfort in that same manner. What will wing-pullers do without their influencer messiah? What will Carlson’s parasites do without their host? What will Tucker do without them? Republicans have almost arrived at their singularity, when they’ll finally become completely unbound to reality. For now, unfortunately, they are still with us, barely, under the hapless administration of Kevin McCarthy. Yep, it’s going to be Trump vs. Biden again. Except this time, people know Joe Biden, and people really know Donald Trump. Nikki Haley offers her hopes and prayers. What do the polls say? Over the course of a decade, Nate Silver worked to make it clear that he was no prognosticator. Silver was more of an artist, whose artistry could be interpreted variously, and should be interpreted while averaged with others.  A federal appeals court stopped Donald Trump’s attempt to block Mike Pence from testifying before the January 6th grand jury. The Proud Boys want to thank Donald for where they are today. E. Jean Carroll also explains how Trump brought her to this point. Disney’s suing Ron DeSantis. Ron says they’re just being political. Many fine people on both sides are getting tired of Clarence Thomas. Aside from using classified info to win arguments with teenagers, it also appears that Jack Teixeira was really into mass shootings. But after all, what soldier playing on the internet isn’t?

David Waldman, Greg Dworkin, and all the staff here at KITM Worldwide wish a merry and joyous National Pretzel Day to all those who observe. Tucker Carlson remains under his contractually obligated rock today following his ouster from woke Fox News. Was it Tuck’s sexism that got him fired? Or his endangerment of racial and religious minorities, LGBTQ, and national security? Or was he going to lose Rupert money? No, seriously, why did Fox News fire Tucker Carlson? It doesn’t matter what Carlson truly believes. All Tucker truly believes in is pulling the wings off flies.  Election 2024, or: How I Learned to Stop Worrying and Love Joe Biden is the sequel no one wanted to see, but the good news is, it looks to be a rehash of the original. “The Tennessee Three” are being followed up by “the Montana One”, which so far seems as exciting, and hopefully ends as satisfyingly as the first. Disney certainly knows how to do a plot twist. Speaking of plot twists, adding Ted Cruz schemes into the January 6th insurrection could tie up many loose threads. Forget sex or money, the best way to get any secret is to tell a boy that he’s dumb, and it turns out that there are a lot of dumb boys in our Armed Services. Republicans looking over the fiscal cliff have started to panic and are throwing out favors and a few of the rules to keep from going over.

Today, David Waldman and the KITM staff celebrate not being fired or hired by Rupert Mudoch. Hey, remember Tucker Carlson? Tuck was sort of a prep school Lou Dobbs or that villain in a teen movie who wears a Brooks Brothers sweater like a cape over his Lacrosse polo. Anyhow, Fox News fired Tucker on a Monday morning, in front of his crew, for maximum disrespect, like a mob hit that can’t go open casket. Not that his crew had that much respect for him, or vice versa. In fact, they’ve already forgotten him. Whatever reason Rupert chose to take out Carlson, it wasn’t the right one. As Ace KITM Correspondent Rosalyn MacGregor has been telling us, (paraphrased) Ottawa County, Michigan has been cluster-FUBARed through a wingnut insurgency. Wait until they find out their new jobs require working. Southern fried wingnuts in Florida are turning off both voters and bigots. Coming this Summer: The Fulton County Indictments! Why not now? Why is Fani Willis making us wait sooooo long? Powerful judges seem to always be trying to strike a balance between lower ethics and larger paydays. About a week after his confirmation, Neil Gorsuch finally sold a couple million dollars' worth of future goodwill and friendship with a guy destined to bring dozens of cases before him. Gorsuch didn’t think to mention this transaction, nor did fellow Trump judge Matthew Kacsmaryk think to disclose between 5 to 25 million bucks worth of his camaraderie. Senator Ed Markey is calling on Clarence Thomas to resign, all because of his billionaire sugar buddy Harlan Crow. Joan McCarter tells us that it’s time for Senator Dianne Feinstein to retire, primarily because Senator Joe Manchin won’t. No one knows what the hell Dick Durbin is doing, but everyone can see what Mitch McConnell has planned.

Tucker Carlson is out at Fox. David Waldman and Greg Dworkin didn’t specifically address that on today’s show, mostly because Fox hadn’t announced it yet, and yet Tuck’s firing was the subject of today’s KITM: the price of extremism is high, and the bills are just beginning to come due. You got to figure that Smartmatic really has the goods on Fox, but that doesn't mean that Dominion is slowing down any time soon. Ron DeSantis is looking like the Tucker Carlson of politics right now. Donald Trump is beating Ron to win the losing side of the 2024 election, supported by the people who believe he’s still president. Trump can’t commit a crime big enough to lose their vote. MAGA will pay any price to avoid admitting they were wrong. On the other hand, Democrats believe that every decision they make might be a huge mistake, and that every decision made by a fellow Democrat is surely one. However, until they find a presidential candidate with the temperament, experience, and accomplishments of Joe Biden under 40, Joe will have to do. Republicans are promising to be civil… Freshman Democrat Jeff Jackson says that they will act civilly once you quit giving them attention. Republicans do a lot for attention, but they will do much more for money. Amarillo Judge Mathew Kacsmaryk would rather not talk about those decisions he made and that money he’s taken though. Even the Trump Supreme Court might be becoming a bit shy.

David Waldman presents another episode in KITM’s popular What the Hell is Wrong with These People? ™ series as we travel throughout the Midwest asking, “What the Hell is wrong with these people?” This being Friday, there is a small but increasing chance that this KITM will feature an AI generated “David Waldman” with intonation and mannerisms scraped from audio samples, however chatbot “Scott Anderson” would have said something by now, wouldn’t he? Off we go, back to Tennessee, where Republicans rolled a 1 on their d20 on the Tennessee Three expulsion and have just gone downhill from there. Of course, they did earn some of their bad luck. Rep. Scotty Campbell sexually harassed interns before his expulsion vote. It’s just that Campbell would have gotten away with all that before those news crews started to hang around. On the same day the Tennessee House voted to expel The Three, they voted to eliminate oversight on the police for their two biggest cities. That sort of thing gets noticed now. Over to Minnesota, where State Senator/ 80’s Sportscaster Eric Lucero battles necromancy and whatever spells Liberals cast to conjure wokeness. And finally, to Michigan and Ace KITM Correspondent Rosalyn MacGregor. US mass killings happen at least every week, gun owners taking a bead on each other in fear that someone will get the drop on them first. Some Michiganders have noted the danger and are setting up sanctuaries to create safe spaces for guns. If only the Michigan Republican Party had thought of drunken 2A solutions in that Clare, Michigan hotel bar...

Happy 4/20! David Waldman was not old and/or high enough to pick up on Justice Putnam’s “Dave’s Not Here” reference and so we weren’t certain if we were high and/or off the air this morning. Thankfully, we got it all straightened out and had the windows open before Greg Dworkin got here. Elon Musk is going to want something stronger by 4:20 today, seeing that his Starship lit up like a Tesla out of warrantee this morning. Fox News had to pay about $800 million to keep “News” on its logo this week, which may not be the $1.6 billion we wanted, but no worries, they will be paying in installments over the next couple of years. Fox will keep up the fight... except for Dan Bongino, Maria Bartiromo, and Jeanie Pirro. Next time Donald Trump is on, maybe they can ask him for tax advice. Too bad they can’t fire their viewers. January 6th’s Zip Tie Guy has been convicted and could be sentenced to 20 years. It might be tough for his mom to visit him, as she is going to a different wing of the penitentiary. Why should the public view the horrific aftermath of the Sandy Hook Massacre, when they can just step outside and look at their neighbor’s front yard? The Republican party has a plan to alienate every swing voter in America. House Republicans plan to raise the debt ceiling for just one year, if they can get permission from George Santos and Marjorie Taylor Greene. Dick Durbin can only dream of wielding such awesome power.  The Gop will lose with Trump, but know that DeSantis is not the solution. Anyhow, who needs a solution when they have Trump? The 2nd circuit court of appeals has granted a brief stay of the district court ruling against Alvin Bragg, which blocks for now the deposition of his former aide, Mark Pomerantz. Kari Lake wants the Supreme Court to reconsider one of her election claims it already had rejected and offers to debate any anonymous troll who steps up. Amarillo Judge Matthew Kacsmaryk might have hid his wackiest stuff from his Senate confirmation hearings.

David Waldman and Greg Dworkin present another fine KITM, always providing the most for your entertainment/information dollar and bath time listening. Just think, if you and Dominion Voting Systems donated only 1% of your disposable income as convenient monthly payments, how much democracy and joviality could be preserved? Fox wins! Fox found a way to screw over all of their competitors by killing that cash cow of hourly Dominion v. Fox updates everyone had spent months investing in. Of course, getting pantsed and spending $787.5 Million was a bit steep of a price, but it was a small price to pay... in comparison to all the other prices they will be shortly paying. Gop fake electors have begun to turn on each other. Ruptured Republicans smile through their pain as they mark their first 100 days of suffering and look forward to even worse as Kevin McCarthy thrusts them into their debt ceiling fiasco. Remember Kevin’s promises about border security? Dems can take over any time now. Ron DeSantis (Ted Cruz, but with pudding on his fingers) has chosen to die on Disney hill. Donald Trump beats on Ron mostly for fun right now, but DeSantis could become an irritation along the primary trail. Republicans will never go sane once they tasted the crazy. Don’t worry, Democrats can still find a way to make 2024 painfully close. Dick Durbin won’t give up blue slips no matter how worthless they become. He might reconsider after Dianne Feinstein retires, or maybe after he does. Liberal judges continue to exist, but meanwhile the Iowa Senate passes their child labor bill. The Trump Supreme Court hurries to find an excuse to ban mifepristone.  Charlottesville torch-carrying marchers indicted for torch-carrying! After all burning crosses is only symbolic right when they are lit and they look like burning crosses. Russia has a fleet of vessels set to sabotage wind farms and communication lines. Elliott Broidy can’t stop criming! Of course, $75 million helps.

Tuesday already? David Waldman gave Joan McCarter barely enough time to get her voice back, but the show must go on! The frontier around the Castle Doctrine is always being tested. Do you shoot at doorbell ringers, postal workers, pizza delivery? Or is approaching your castle good enough? Republicans don’t care much, as their delusions are bulletproof. Gen Z has not been groomed to put up with this. Texas Republican Bryan Slaton wants to “protect kids” from “perverted” the LGBTQ+ who want to “sexualize them,” Bryan has been… whaaa? accused of an “inappropriate relationship” ? South Dakota Senate candidate Joel Koskan heads to the South Dakota State Penitentiary on two counts of felony incest. Stop the Steal founder Ali Alexander requested and critiqued teen boy “jack off material” from young groypers, offending the moral sensibilities of Milo Yiannopoulos, Nick Fuentes and Marjorie Taylor Greene. There is no statute of limitations on felonies in Virginia, which includes the torch burning Charlottesville White nationalists’ burning of torches. Four Oklahoma county officials were recorded talking about hiring hit men for reporters, not being able to hang black men and a few more deplorable things. The Sheriff’s department covered their bases, saying the recordings are fake, and that it was illegal to record them. George Santos announced his bid for reelection and reported immediately raising more than one hundred billion dollars in donations. Dianne Feinstein requested to be temporarily replaced on the Judiciary Committee while recovering from shingles. Republicans have come down on that idea like a ton of bricks, while Dick Durbin and Chuck Schumer raised their tiny parasols for protection.

It’s quiet, too quiet! David Waldman and Greg Dworkin wish you a pleasant Eastern Orthodox DC Emancipation Day. We had hoped to cover the open of Dominion v. Fox season, but that was EO-ed over to tomorrow. Fox will take advantage of the extra time to dig itself a deeper hole. Don’t believe everything Fox tells you, as if you’d ever. One day is no big deal. The only downside is that Gym Jordan soundbites might get more airtime. Senator Dianne Feinstein remains Senator and remains old. She has been both for a long time. Air National Guardsman Jack Teixeira was charged under the Espionage Act, not to be confused with Air National Guardsman Josiah Ernesto Garcia, arrested in connection with a murder-for-hire scheme, and probably now hoping to get on Marjorie Taylor Greene's good side. How did Jack Teixeira leak so much information? How did the FBI track him down? How did the press track him down just as quickly? Are there only a few good men in the Armed Forces? While we seem to get dumber, Russia seems to be getting smarter. Donald Trump warns the Religious Right that it’s either that loser God or him, but it looks as if Republicans are hoping to keep that threesome going no matter what, just maybe a bit on the down-low through the elections. A majority of Americans say Republicans should shut up about wokeness, but Republicans do hate to shut up, especially about, ironically enough, banning books. Now the public is telling them to shut up about that too. Gen Z pretty much has the Obama and Trump eras to compare in their lives and now are taking control. Glenn Youngkin is the latest loser of the 2024 Presidential election. There are many more to come, they just don’t know it yet. One Black doctor in any county means Black residents will live longer there.

David Waldman delivers us to the weekend… but so does Greg Dworkin! Greg’s Ov’rloaded Raft O’ Stories™ couldn’t have stayed afloat another day. Dianne Feinstein is under the weather, though not quite far enough for some of her pals. Feinstein is stepping down from the Judiciary Panel, but if that is not enough, there will be some challenges. Harlan Crow bought a house for Clarence Thomas’ mother, which Thomas already owned, and his mother already lived in, as one does for one’s buddy. Clarence wouldn’t disclose such a friendly gesture.  God-fearing, patriotic, health-conscious, well-educated, well-raised, well-liked, and well-respected... yet young and naive, Jack (He’s White) Teixeira made friends with the other boys and impressed strangers by wowing them with his espionage skills. Donald Trump should take notes from Jack, although if he did, he would have sold them by now. Donald presently is in New York dazzling lawyers for Attorney General Letitia James with his superior wit and intellect. Trump met with Evangelicals in the hope they’d maybe talk to God and get Him to ease up a bit on that abortion stuff. Short-term presidential candidate Tim Scott doesn’t know what to say, literally. Democrats have a 28-point advantage on abortion, pretty much the story across the nation. Here’s why this is bad news for Joe Biden… Actually, if there’s anybody you can count on to walk into a trap, it’s Ron DeSantis. Ignoring Florida’s history (of course), Ron will ban abortion 6 weeks after conception. DeSantis has only just begun deliver Florida and himself to hell. Ace KITM Correspondent Roslyn MacGregor shares the secret of her success (“It’s easy peasy!”) and reports on Ron DeSantis bringing his Florida magic to Michigan., where the woke go to get away from MAGA. Amarillo judge Matt Kacsmaryk’s Mifepristone decision is indefensible, and yet somehow it needs to be defended against, or else Amarillo judges will end up ruling the United States. That is the Supreme Court’s job. Therefore, Judge Thomas Rice enters for the block.

David Waldman goes solo again! Greg Dworkin remains on assignment covering the ancillary bank holiday jubilee through the agency of the Duchy of Grand Fenwick. Weather permitting, Greg will be steaming back into port tomorrow. The Washington post broke today’s big story in a manner Mark Sumner loathed, yet WAPO’s sugarcoating couldn’t hide the shocking details. Secret Pentagon documents were leaked in near-real-time to a Discord server frequented by Minecraft players. It now looks as if the leaker was an Air National Guard in his twenties trying to impress, and groom, teenage boys. Of course, Donald Trump psychokinetically declassified any documents before showing them off… unless he could get more money for them as-is. Trump gave an interview with Tucker Carlson, who unfortunately couldn’t comment on much of what was said due to his rectal vantagepoint. We all know that no one is more generous than Donald Trump, but there just ain’t room for two, so off went Lindsey Graham to pop in on Mohammed bin Salman, presumably to a different pocket than Jared Kushner. Trump now heads to Nashville, where he could, but probably won’t, meet with the Tennessee Three. Meanwhile, the Arizona House expelled a member! And she’s a Republican! And it was because of election denial lies!

Greg Dworkin is out today, putting his money where his mouth is… at the dentist. Can it even be a Wednesday if only David Waldman is here? Odds are there will probably be another mass shooting this week, even though some aren’t finished being idiots about the previous ones. Louisville’s mayor finds that the killer’s AR-15 is better protected than his victims. At least Tennessee’s Governor Bill Lee was inspired to sign an executive order strengthening background checks. Lee is a Republican, but somebody had to do it. Oh yeah, that was the reason Justins Pearson and Jones were expelled from the Tennessee House wasn’t it? Justin Jones is already back at work, and Justin Pearson could be back as soon as tomorrow. The free market has spoken. Popular handgun SIG Sauer P320 turns on its owners when it wants to, and there is nothing they can do about it. Why do Republicans keep doing bigoted, extremist, dumb things?  Because that’s who votes for them. It’s also what the boss wants. It turns out that Rupert Murdoch isn’t just the owner and chairman of Fox, he’s a corporate officer at Fox News. Former Fox producer Abby Grossberg says Fox has secret tapes of Rudy Giuliani admitting that there is no proof of the 2020 presidential election being stolen. The Gang of Eight will have access to Trump, Biden and Pence classified documents, maybe four of them in good faith. Amarillo judge Matthew J. Kacsmaryk is the worst federal judge. So why is President Joe Biden paying attention to him?

Ruptured Republicans! Republicans in rupture! I don’t know. It just doesn’t ring like “Dems in disarray” does it?  It’s true, though. Here, let David Waldman and finally returning special guest Joan McCarter present to you two hours' worth of examples:  Kevin McCarthy is the last person anyone would expect to hold things together, and it turns out that he is meeting everyone’s expectations. Of course, bad management can only get you so far, but the Gop backs it up with an assault on abortion rights and freedom, democracy and the future of anyone under 60. As of this writing no mass shooter slaughtered more so far this day than the Louisville shooter did yesterday. Republicans were prepared for the guns-bullets-deaths aspect of the shooting but can’t comprehend why a guy born male would ever identify as “he/him”. Laura Loomer, Marjorie Taylor Greene, Jenna Ellis, and Lauren Witzke are in a four-way fight for Donald Trump’s affections. Nikki Haley plays hard to get. Donald still has eyes for Melania, which she would prefer under her fingernails. Jim Jordan packs up his circus and heads to the Big Apple, where sadly, attendance will be limited. Book bans and restrictions are also a losing issue for Republicans, but Ron DeSantis still hasn’t finished showing the world that he’s a big boy, therefore he’s doubling down on schools and still attempting to beat up Disney. Tennessee Republicans right-wing bubble burst with the instant return of Justin Jones, and Justin Pearson soon to follow. Kid Rock drinks Bud Light while hanging out with drag queens and… but… Why are we talking about this again? Democrats have their share of chaos as well. Some want to fight the Amarillo court’s national ban on Mifepristone, and some want to ignore it.

Happy Passover, Easter, Ramadan, Smigus Dyngus and KITM Monday for all those who observe. David Waldman and Greg Dworkin are especially observant today:  We start off the day under the cloud of a mass shooting, like usual. It’s too soon to know if Governor Greg Abbott will pardon anyone involved. Abbott is eager to pardon a guy who planned to kill some people and ended up finding his Kyle Rittenhouse/George Zimmerman opportunity at a Black Lives Matter demonstration that day. Similarly, Donald Trump hopes to offer as many pardons as he has enemies, and maybe a few preemptive pardons to take care of his future enemies. Compared to their mentors, future conservatives hope to develop less scruples.  On the other hand, voters have become less forgiving of Donald Trump’s criminality lately. Alvin Bragg's indictment of Trump isn’t weak, it’s standard. Any good friend of Clarence Thomas understands that he likes really nice stuff for free. Harlan Crow really understands his good friend Clarence Thomas. In turn, Clarence might understand why Harlan has so much Nazi paraphernalia. In fact, Thomas might have a very good idea why Harlan’s brother is so much into human trafficking. Clarence Thomas could tell you a lot of things, but about twenty years ago he was advised to quit telling anything to anybody. In Tennessee the stupidity burns. It will burn much longer than they could ever imagine. The right to abortion will be secured before the end of the decade. In 2024 we can expect at least ten states to have citizen-led ballot initiatives enshrining abortion rights in their state constitutions. Here are 23 states that can amend their constitutions to protect abortion. Britain has many of the same problems as the US, but long ago discovered a way to distract the right numpty plonkers. You, on the other hand are much smarter. Smart people in Virginia support Atoosa Reaser and Juli Briskman. In fact, you don’t even have to be from Virginia!

David Waldman wishes us all a Good Friday.  To make it even gooder, check out the latest KITM: Well, they really did it. Tennessee’s Republican House expelled two out of three Democratic representatives for speaking out of turn. Republicans figured people could just look at those two and understand their need to be delt with without the encumbrance of due process but then discovered that old times there have been forgotten.  In fact, Justins Jones and Pearson will shortly return as uppity as ever. Some Tennesseans have responded by using their second amendment rights as the Founders intended, shooting holes in the houses of people they’re mad at. Donald Trump is a role model for these people, leading them through a combination of self-pity and blind rage. This is a dilemma for the judge in… No, it isn’t. This should be pretty simple for any judge. Smilin’ Jack Smith is neck and neck with Fani Willis to become the next indictor of Donald’s art of stupidly illegal deals. Ride or die Republicans are seeing the pavement coming up fast. If Republicans were smart, they would change the subject with a debt ceiling plan, but they aren’t. Clarence Thomas seems to be on a quest to be the most corrupt Justice in the Supreme Court. Thomas explains that actually he’s the most gracious guest in the history of plutocratic affection. KITM Michigan Correspondent Rosalyn MacGregor reports that local plutocrats led by Betsy DeVos are installing a shadow Republican party to eclipse the Michigan state Gop, even while the party’s new leader, Kristina Karamo is doing her best to be a MAGA whack-job. KITM Senior Black Correspondent Darwin H.M. relates the parable of “Green and purple”. Tom Hanks’ latest movie is out, and it is short, educational and informative.

The bread’s a little flat, but David Waldman and Greg Dworkin are here to leaven our day with political insight and dry wit. Donald Trump, who excels at losing, is entering the hottest streak of his career, and doesn’t plan to slack off until all Republicans become sick of winning. Courtroom artists will have many opportunities to capture Donald’s true essence. Pundits looking at Alvin Bragg’s case just see an outline, but that’s because Bragg isn’t obligated to fill it in yet. Trump also has months to make everything much worse. Behind the scenes, even Evangelicals are losing faith. ProPublica reveals that for decades Clarence Thomas accepted luxury vacations on a private jet and a superyacht from Republican megadonor Harlan Crow. The extent and frequency of these apparent gifts to Thomas has no known precedent in modern SCOTUS history… Greg compares Thomas’ Rolodex with that of Abe Fortas. Look that up in your Funk & Wagnalls! Free the Tennessee Three! This isn’t a good look for Tennessee Republicans. Montana Republicans plot a one-time election law change to screw over Democrat Jon Tester. James Comer enlists prosecutors to destroy their careers in order to irritate Joe Biden. Now, Wisconsin Republicans are looking into impeaching Judge Janet Protasiewicz, two days after her election. Why? Mostly because she won her election, but also because she won her election big. Also, because Republicans will be losing a lot more elections as they try to take away abortion rights. Way to go, Brandon! Brandon Johnson offered Chicagoans solutions, and solutions were what they were looking for.

Happy holidays! David Waldman and Greg Dworkin start the day off in post Arraignment Day spirit and good will. That doesn’t include Donald Trump. No one is passing over him anymore. Yesterday was the day Donald Trump finally became a regular citizen of the United States. Here’s wishing Donald many more ordinary days. It seems that few want to treat Trump’s indictment normally, however. Indicting everyone worthy of indictment was the Founder’s intent, to keep the demagogues down. The case against Trump might be tricky, but it’s strong. Alvin Bragg has the law on his side, all else is irrelevant. That won’t keep idiots from trying of course. Their hope is that stepping up to murder might cool off those fraud charges. And, is Jack Smith really his name?  The DOJ has new evidence of obstruction at Mar-a-Lago, and they’re talking to Secret Service agents. Maybe Donald was just Art of the Dealing with those classified documents to make some Nixon-level money before handing them off? Meanwhile, our democracy was saved in Wisconsin in the nick of time before its falling into the 1800’s. Janet Protasiewicz (spelled just like it sounds) is a huge win for progressives, and won huge in Wisconsin, winning in blue and red districts. Or, at least the reds didn’t vote against her. The will of the people in double digits was recognized by Republicans with their expected grace.  Similarly, the Republican Tennessee House has moved to expel three Democratic members calling for gun control. Republicans feel that being on the wrong side of history will sting less once they eliminate all of their enemies.

It’s Arraignment Day! Should David Waldman wish us a happy Arraignment Day, or is it one of those more somber, reflective holidays? We have a few more coming up soon, so we’ll figure it out. This is a big day for Donald Trump, but it just isn’t his day. Donald had all sorts of big plans, but even in New York City it’s difficult to source a cross light enough for him to bear down Broadway. It was very ugly in Manhattan this morning, and that was before 60 Minutes celebrity Marjorie Traitor Greene auditioned for Lead Disciple in Trump’s passion play. Marge got the gong. Meanwhile, Eric Trump and Junior were left to wait in the plane. (The windows were rolled down.)  Eric waived to the Eric Trump on TV, and Eric waved back, but wouldn’t come over to play. Junior might have pooped his pants though. More obstruction evidence at Mar-a-Lago would be the last thing Trump needs, and yet for the guy who wants everything, it’s the perfect gift. Trump found out that Nixon got $18 million following his White House crimes, and was making the perfect deal to top it, when all of a sudden, they raided Mar-a-Lago, they viciously raided it. Roy McGrath, former chief of staff for former Maryland Gov. Larry Hogan was formerly a fugitive from the FBI but is presently dead from somebody’s bullet. McGrath was shot in Tennessee, which has plenty to be concerned about. Thousands of students marched on the Capitol demanding gun control. They were joined by 3 Democratic House members, which must be a bad thing, because they were stripped of committee roles, and might be expelled. Apparently not so bad, physically assaulting Democratic House members. Remember when Russia said Finland joining NATO didn't pose a threat? They changed their mind. Right when it was their turn to take charge of the UN security council, too.

You can't see David Waldman and Greg Dworkin on today’s KITM! In significant step forward for women’s basketball, the sport now has finally become big enough to sustain days of loudmouth opinionating. New York, New York gets ready to give a big New York welcome to Donald Trump tomorrow! If Donald can be arraigned there, he can (and will) be arraigned anywhere. Of course, not everyone is delighted about this... over two thirds are of course, but somebody might still be opposed, maybe, for a while. Then there will be even more indictments, arraignments, trials, convictions, etc., etc. and eventually people will get tired of all the winning. Chances are that ubiquitous Michael Cohen, raw dog fall guy Elliott Broidy, mysterious Chinese plutocrats, rappers, sex and money will be involved. That makes even Chuck Todd wonder why somebody hadn’t gotten on this sooner. Trump says the Justice System has been weaponized. He would know. So would Jim Jordan. Wow. 60 Minutes used to be a journalistic authority. Now Marjorie Traitor Greene is a fan. The contest is over. The best April Fool’s joke of ALL TIME was pulled in St. Petersburg, Russia.

April Fool! It’s our April Fool’s Day show! From last year, you fool! Because today isn’t even April Fool’s Day. So, duh! Last year, when you were being fooled, the summary of the day’s show, which was presented in a totally serious manner, read as follows: This morning, David Waldman was late packing school lunches and just hadn’t the time for fooling around. If you are in the mood for that kind of stuff, you can check out our KITM Eastern Orthodox April Fool's Day Special, tomorrow… David looks back at the Ukraine Aid Freeze of 2019,because it was withheld in the never-ending pursuit ofdirt, has always been lied about, and will be lied about in the future. Newly elected Lauren Boebert was already an insurrectionist VIP on January 6,with a seat at the insurrectionist planning committee, right behind Mr. Pillow! Lauren didn’t crash the party though; Boebert earned her seat leading insurrectionist tours the day before. Horse paste does not cure COVID-19.Most who take it are idiots. Idiots do remain Republicans’ most important constituency, however, so the sacred right to brush your teeth with the stuff will never be infringed upon. An anti-masker in Pennsylvania did her research, not on masks but on arcane local procedural provisions, to oust 5 out of 9 of her school board members. Conservatives now embrace QAnon's "liberals are pedophiles", and“great replacement” doctrines, even taking Disney flat-footed.

David Waldman and Greg Dworkin deliver us to the weekend, exceeding our expectations yet again. In France, oil refinery strikers continue to persevere. In Israel, Benjamin Netanyahu will need to persevere without the support of Joe Biden and the UAE. Ukrainians persevere, and maybe even flourish. What a maroon! Bugs Bunny couldn’t hope to own Ron DeSantis better than Disney and their lawyers will, in perpetuity, or maybe even longer. DeSantis will lose big to Donald Trump also, by the way. Heels like Trump always win, always. (On TV.) Corporate villains like Ron DeSantis always lose. (On TV.) Is there a “real life” version of the Republicans anymore? Ivanka Trump will prefer to watch her father’s demise on her phone. Republicans are running on “parent’s rights”, but what rights are parents getting? There can only be so many books they could ban. Meanwhile, Democrats are running on restoring abortion rights. Obamacare keeps winning… and losing. Michigan Democrats keep winning for Michiganders, which turns out to be winning for Michigan Democrats. Allen Weisselberg is picking up the tab on his lawyers from now on, so at least he’s turning his back on Trump’s money. Trump judge Matthew Kacsmaryk took some time out of his fabricating reasoning for banning abortion medication to Twitter-bully University of Texas School of Law professor Steve Vladeck, which isn’t respectable judicial behavior, but few things are anymore.  Rogue courts are legislating for hire with Kacsmaryk and Reed O'Connor as the go-tos for reactionary court shoppers.

On today’s KITM David Waldman and Greg Dworkin love on 80’s commercials, hate on clinger Clippy Bing, and share delicious focaccia recipes, PLUS: Benjamin Netanyahu had his Donald Trump streak stall out, just as it was reaching Marjorie Taylor Greene levels. That might be a bit simplified, but it’s close enough see why Israel is off of White House invitations. Israel’s reaction to Joe Biden was also Trumpesque, although the Knesset has yet to reach agreement on a suitably derogatory nickname. Mike Pence will have to testify before a grand jury about Donald Trump and January 6th. Donald reminds us all that he’s innocent until proven guilty, so let’s hurry up and get on that. Trump also wants it to be clear that his crimes still far outnumber proposed indictments. Indict Trump all you’d like, that will just make his supporters vote even harder for him. Of course, most people don’t want Donald to be president again, and those who do want to see a 3rd or 4th Trump term are running out of money. Some Republicans foresee diminishing returns on a civil war and instead find themselves attracted to the newest generation of nimrods. Here comes the Wisconsin elections! The White master race is not sending us their best people. 24 Washington Aryans were rounded up after trafficking “huge amounts” of fentanyl and meth. The Right knows what game they’re playing, and that the first rule is to never say what the game is. If people really knew the score, they just might not want to play anymore.

Yes, we are once again Under the Cloud of a Mass Shooting.™ Since the setting was, once again, a school, trotting out the old “too many doors” talking point was required by law. But how could this have happened, in the land of more guns = more safety? In other news — if news it be — the FBI once thought they had the goods, or that there were goods to be had, on Ivana “Not Ivanka” Trump. Nobody really understands what’s going on in Israel. But one thing we do know is that if they had Unfrozen Caveman Lawyers, they would refuse to represent Netanyahu. Nobody knows why Ginni Thomas feels entitled to be paid for her $#*t-posting lifestyle, but she does, so it looks like they’re doing it. Students are pushing back against George Mason University’s decision to invite Gov. Glenn Youngkin to deliver this year’s commencement address. But isn’t GMU well-known for its conservatism? Well, yes and no. Joan McCarter may have been absent from our phone Skype lines, but she wasn’t absent from our airwaves Internet whatever thingies. We checked in on the latest Gop hostage taking, and efforts to repeal two out of three still-active AUMFs (AsUMF?), MFers.

Tune in today and you might hear David Waldman and Greg Dworkin sing the rarely-heard lyrics to the KITM theme! You might also be told that this is the Trump rally in Waco, but it is Jerusalem, after barely elected Prime Minister Benjamin Netanyahu attempts to reconstruct his court system over on the far right of Israel’s politics. About a million loud and angry citizens seemed to make Netanyahu blink, but what that blink signifies is yet to be determined. Vladimir Putin is selling positions along the Russian front as if they were timeshares. New openings become available every day! Over at the real Trump rally in Waco, nothing was real, which is exactly how Trump and his supporters like it. Like professional wrestling, fans know it is an act, but also will fistfight anyone who says it is an act. Button-down fascist Ron DeSantis is somehow the Governor of Florida and yet not only does not get this, but his candidacy actually threatens to expose the whole Kayfabe. Time to find another jobber. Arresting Donald Trump will be a whole new level of breaking character for him. One of Tucker Carlson’s ex-producers is adding to her lawsuit against Fox. Another of Tucker Carlson’s ex-producers is part of Dominion’s lawsuit against Fox. Until pro-wrestling, the Right’s favorite family-friendly form of community theater was of course the minstrel show, then the woke mob took that all away. Drag was always good for a laugh, but then it became woke, or worse, became known as woke, forcing Republican queens out into the cold. One Democrat stopped the anti-trans wave in Nebraska, and vows to keep fighting until trans-rights are safe.

David Waldman’s got Friday on his mind, and one or two other things, which he addressed on today’s KITM. Ok, well, he hasn’t been arrested yet. Just because Donald Trump lied about being arrested doesn’t mean he isn’t feeling that the walls are closing in though. Donald is now putting the call out for anyone who will rid him of these troublesome prosecutors, anyone who might share his enthusiasms. Trump will next head to Waco, Texas to preach to his most faithful. “Pro-Trump” and “White supremacist troll” would seem synonymous, yet Douglass Mackey excels at both to the extent that the FBI had to hunt him down. Woke is the Right’s new N-word for identifying people that they consider to be… uhm, woke. Florida schools have eliminated most education pursuing woke, but now Tallahassee Classical School has discovered that wokeness extends all the way back to early 1500’s Florence, in the form of a marble wang. Once 6th graders (none of whom had never seen a penis before) glimpsed a photo of Michelangelo’s “David” statue, the principal of the school was of course forced to resign. Chair of the Tallahassee Classical School board, Barney Bishop III, made a completely impartial and fair analysis of the situation, which can only be fully understood by reading the transcript of his explanation.

Has he been arrested yet? David Waldman and Greg Dworkin give us something to think about while we wait… Although a lot of what they’re thinking about is what we are thinking… Has he been arrested yet? While Alvin Bragg ghosts tailgating protesters, now would be a great time for someone other than the Manhattan DA to indict Donald Trump. The D.C. Circuit Court of Appeals is ordering Trump lawyer M. Evan Corcoran to turn over documents which on their own could send Trump to prison. Bragg’s case is not insignificant but establishes Trump’s MO for the other prosecutions. A different indictment would certainly throw Republicans running defense off their game. And, probably a few of their other games as well. Other than maybe jail, Donald Trump isn’t going anywhere. You’d assume that Donald’s followers would be virulent racists supporting Trump’s virulent racism, but Trump’s “Yee Haw, I’m racist!” vote is in fact outnumbered by his “I’m not a racist, but...” voters, which are of course, legion. For those people, “Woke” is their new N-word. (Which the woke won’t let them say.) The woke won’t let them equate gun safety legislation with the Holocaust, but forces 6th graders to look at marble peen. Sure, it all sounds confusing to the uneducated… Ron DeSantis spends every waking moment hoping to appeal to those people, but don’t worry about him being president. DeSantis is doomed. Fox could be also, but that might be too much to hope. Tucker Carlson is stuck between sinking Fox or telling the truth, and we all know which way he’s heading. Fugitive MAGA mogul Guo Wengui wants to burn it all down, and so his lair conflagration doesn’t seem a huge surprise. 

Ramadan Mubarak to everyone honoring the holy month of Ramadan, a time of fasting, introspection and prayer. Which always means there’s something good to eat eventually! Today, David Waldman and Greg Dworkin bring us another in a series of KITM Donald Trump Pre-Indictment Specials. This will be an ongoing series because just about everyone other than us is making money off it. (Also, because Trump does many indictable things.)  Donald’s always happy to fleece the rubes. He also believes that this will get him an advantage over Ron DeSantis, as if he ever needed one. Mostly however, Donald Trump is looking forward to the pageantry of his very first perp walk. After all, this marks the apex all of Trump’s career goals and ambitions, while simultaneously achieving that long-awaited pivot to the better appreciation of the plight of the common man.  Or perhaps getting indicted is ”a bad thing”? The case is so novel and complex that attorneys are considering divorce lawyer tactics. Lordy, communications between Stormy Daniels and Trump attorney Joe Tacopina have been turned over to Manhattan DA. Wait until Jack Smith gets hold of him. Jack has a Whitman’s Sampler of incrimination to pick through. What’s the Republican party to do? The answer is that they will do worse and suffer more. Well, they could vote for Mike Pence... a joke that even Mike himself might get some day. Special KITM correspondent Rosalyn MacGregor reports from Barry County, Michigan where they raffle off AR-15s in order to allow heathen public schoolers a Christian education. Will West Michigan become a Christian gun sanctuary? Clarence Thomas is a Constitutional originalist, in that the Founders would know that he makes stuff up on the spot. Clarence’s clairvoyance has led to new gun law interpretations throughout the courts as other judges pretend to guess what their ancestors had in mind.

David Waldman wishes KITM listeners residing on Eastern Orthodox Earth a cheer-filled Equinox. But can it really be that great if we can’t celebrate Arrestmas today? Today, tens of ones of protesters are feeling kind of silly, accurately, here and there across the US. Again, Antifa sends its regrets for not being able to attend. Republicans shout “Calm down everyone!” in an effort to make it seem like someone is excited. They demand investigations in an effort to make it seem that someone other than Donald Trump is on trial. They issue threats to make it seem like they are capable of following through. Then they say it really doesn’t matter to make it seem as if they aren’t in the same legal trouble as well. Ron DeSantis will degrade himself to appease Trump and it will destroy him. No way around that. Ron should enjoy his time subverting justice and razing society while he still can. Florida textbooks will equate Rosa Parks with a guy who needed to be wrapped in duct tape to remove off an airliner. If they succeed, it won’t be just Florida. Or maybe the free market will intervene, and all schools will move to blue states.  Are we all like fetuses, but with less rights? The Fox v Dominion lawsuit heads to court. The Fox v Smartmatic lawsuit will pick up from there. Everybody, take a number and get in line. Grandpa always said not to take any wooden nickels, but JPMorgan Chase accepted bags of stones. Congressional absences are hurting both parties, but not as much as some of the ones that stick around. Things aren’t going well for Russia right now, but Dmitry Medvedev believes that threatening to shoot up the courthouse might help. Greta Thunberg will sue Sweden for not doing enough about climate. Unemployment is low, so are layoffs. What can employers do to trick employees into not quitting?

Whether you sleep on a Hariana Tech Smart Ultimate Italian Leather Upholstered Storage Bed, or a Hästens Drēmər 170th Birthday Dedication, the “choice of kings” and China’s own Vanilla Ice, Guo Wengui, you know it’s now time to get out of bed (Unless you’re Rupert Murdoch, nudge, wink.) and get back to your Monday routine. Time to catch up on the latest news with KITM’s David Waldman and Greg Dworkin. (Sports on the 10s!) Merry Arrestmas Eve! Or maybe not. Donald Trump foments. It’s the only thing he’s done well, and the only thing he enjoys doing. To Trump, it doesn’t matter if his first indictment is tomorrow, it’s just that this week looked like a good one to light up his mob, and make sure it runs well before summer hits. Republicans get this and are using the moment to warm up and practice their lines. Ron DeSantis, already fading, gets in line. And so, pundits wring their hands, Stormy Daniels gets back on the tip of everyone’s tongue along with Michael Cohen, and this week would be a great week for some other prosecutor to lock Trump up, or at least a few of his attorneys. Attention Armando! A case to provide Trump financial records regarding Trump’s DC hotel in the Old Post Office Pavilion heads to the Supreme Court, where it will harmlessly bounce off, like a Ping-Pong ball. Republicans secretly plotted to sabotage Jimmy Carter’s election with the assistance of Iran. A secret that unfortunately didn’t follow them to their graves in 1979. Present-day Republicans would do it again in a heartbeat. In France, Parisians cook up a delicious strike. C'est magnifique! Russian keyboard commandos tried to make the East Palestine Ohio disaster worse. Eh, it’s a living, which is better than other Russian commandos can say.

Happy Yom Saint Patrick Ha’Kodesh! It’s Friday! That’s the day no one cuts in on David Waldman while he’s exercising his prerogatives, which are already sick swole, bro. Today’s prerogative workout focuses upon strengthening our focus upon the upcoming trial of former Fugees front man Prakazrel Michel. Michel is accused of funneling millions in foreign money from Malaysian mountebank Jho Low (still on the lam) into Barack Obama’s re-election campaign and conspiring with Low, Trump officials and the Chinese to extradite Chinese dissident, singing Bond villain, Guo Wengui. This is a Great American Story! There's a serious chance this will explode in the news when the trial begins, and we'll all feel well-served by knowing the background when that happens. Fully informed, you can rest this weekend as easy as an unindicted tech bro on his new Thuma bed with Hariana Tech Smart leather upgrades.

Well, it looks like IT brought out the BFH, and I am able to post KITM summaries again!   Woodward and Bernstein are no David Waldman and Greg Dworkin, though all four have made it their business to track not very bright guys when things get out of hand. Let’s all follow the money: Silicon Valley Bank played fast and loose with investor money, but faster and looser than these banks are able to get away with. Other fast and loose banks hope to fill the vacuum. If we do not bail out fly-by-night hucksters, who will be left to huck? Donald Trump is going to run on the Gop ticket in 2024. He is. Ron DeSantis can stop wasting his time. Republicans who want a more pro-Ukraine contender or pro-anything that Trump is not interested in, can give up now. Fulton County investigators have turned up another perfect Trump phone call. The SEC found $8 million in Russian loans to Truth Social. None of that will slow Trump’s destruction. Just ask Fox. Ho Wan Kwok, aka Miles Guo, and aka Guo Wengui is such a caricature Bond villain that his behavior would embarrass even Elon Musk. Of course, Steven KG Bannon would be Guo’s chief henchman/fanboy. Disappointingly, it didn’t take ninjas in a fleet of helicopters to finally arrest Guo on his million different charges. His lair did go up in flames though, so that’s something. Kwok-Miles-Wengui was a basic Musk when it came to petty Twitter feuds, however. George Santos lies all the time. Well, that’s a lie, George did tell the truth that one time when he bragged about making a half mil on commission selling expensive stuff to rich people. Now the FBI is looking into that as well.

March 15 is a date that should be familiar to all of our historically cultured KITM fans. It is, of course, the day turkey vultures return to grace our skies over NE Ohio, and more importantly, it often marks the day Greg Dworkin reappears to grace our Skype, regaling David Waldman with his distinctive call, and raft of stories. After a few days of panic, and a good talking to by Mitt Romney, bankers are breathing easier again. The Justice Department and the Securities and Exchange Commission have launched investigations, which are panicing bankers not at all. After all, banker’s self-policing have already proved their innocence, and other than a few black and LGBTQ in their midst, most are not suspect. That leaves Joe Biden and the poors, or something that they can blame on them. To be fair, Republicans base their decisions on the ISSUES. (As they tell pollsters.) It’s just that their stands on those issues change with the candidates they have choosen to support, making it tough at this point to predict whose set of beliefs they will steadfastly adhere to, although cruelty will always remain the point. They plan to hold this moral focus as they enter upcoming budget negotiations. In 2020, some election officials have refused to certify results. Few were held accountable. Therefore, more will in 2024, and this time with unqualified support. State Senator Machaela Cavanaugh continues to walk the walk in Nebraska, filibustering 8 hours a day for 3 weeks so far to stop a anti-trans bill. Did we mention George Santos today? Among other things, he’s still lying.

Hello? Is this thing working? Daily Kos has been off and on today, but it takes more than that to silence David Waldman and Joan McCarter. (It works pretty good on me, though.) Former U.S. Rep. Pat Schroeder, trailblazing feminist, has died at 82. The Silicon Valley Bank didn't make it half as long. Lawsuits are already being filed, as there is a lot of blame to go around... Wait, no, there isn't. It's Donald Trump's fault. And George Santos, probably. But also there are plenty of victims, although some vetting might be required before the checks go out. Meanwhile, Trump sleuthed out the man responsible for January 6th. Mike Pence was a lousy accomplice and an even worse hostage. If Mike only put his head in that noose, this would all be settled by now. Voting machine company Smartmatic joins Dominion with a defamation suit against Fox. Smartmatic believes their damages are one notch above Dominion's, and they could be right, because with each passing moment, Fox causes more damage. The Republican party in Idaho found another public college to make great again, and you know what that means. Russians are in Moldova fomenting insurrection, as they are prone to do. Moldovan police are on the case. The Trump Supreme Court only looks to precedent in order to stomp on it. The judge in Amarilo trying to ban abortion drugs would like to make such decisions in private.

David Waldman and Greg Dworkin’s KITM Annual Review of the Pageantry and Spectacle of the Oscars has been preempted due to a lack of interest, theirs. 2022 was a year of resurgence, as Ke Huy Quan, Brendan Fraser, and Cocaine Bear all overcame great personal setbacks in their careers, but unfortunately, we won’t be addressing that. Stormy Daniels’ rebound, now that we know something about. Silicon Valley Bank also isn’t set for a comeback, but US regulators are allowing for full refunds. So, what are we to learn from this that we haven't already learned 16 times under Donald Trump, or in the previous 40 to 60 years or so of movies and TV?  One thing about movies, they’re better than even golf courses for meeting, making and hiding money.  Some might find that movies can be a bit disorienting and confusing at times, but just try to keep up as David chases the secret money behind The Wolf of Wall Street through Malaysian public and private limited companies and 1MDBs from China through the US through financier Jho Low and Fugees rapper Prakazrel “Pras” Michel with the help of Trump stooge Elliot Broidy. Mike Pence believes American people deserve to know about January 6th, just not under oath. Ron DeSantis doesn’t believe the American people really deserve anything. 2024 Gop candidates expect Republican voters will take what they’re given. 

No half measures, just poetry in today’s KITM! Actually, David Waldman presented many half measures today, at least double the amount one would ever require to generate superlative 4 .5-hour segments of KITM. Just outside of the towering KITM World Headquarters, downy soft Virginia Governor Glenn Youngkin attempted to duck a trans student’s questioning. Unfortunately for Glenn, those pesky media he hates were paying attention. Ace KITM correspondent Rosalyn MacGregor reports from her state that not all has yet been fixed by Michigan’s flip to blue. In East Lansing, the deputy police chief, Director of Planning, and City Manager are bugging out. My state, Ohio, home of the most corrupt state government since Caligula, made a first tiny step towards salvation by convicting the House Speaker and Republican Party Chair of passing around 60 million dollars in bribe money that must just have fallen off the FirstEnergy Corp truck. Tennessee leads the nation in anti-LGBTQ hate, so of course their closets are becoming overstuffed, and their anti-LGBTQ politicians are popping out. Now that Tucker Carlson has been exposed as a closeted Never Trumper, will he still be accepted back among the MAGA?  Sure, they are a pretty inclusive and forgiving bunch. Jacob Wohl and Jack Burkman’s robocalls targeting Black voters violated the Voting Rights Act and Ku Klux Klan Act, and the judge didn’t even require a jury to decide that verdict. Jenna Ellis still has her sense of humor, which is a clear condemnation of our justice system. Oh, and George Santos lies. This time Santos is denying being the mastermind of an ATM credit card skimming operation.

David Waldman and Greg Dworkin are the perfecta to bet on for today’s Thursday KITM! Mitch McConnell, 81, fell at the Waldorf Astoria hotel in Washington, D.C. has a concussion, and is still at the hospital. Tucker Carlson and Kevin McCarthy’s plan to rewrite history has hit a snag, in that there are still people around who recall what happened on that day. Perhaps if Tucker and Kevin continue to repeat their thoughts on January 6, they will self-immolate Fox and the Gop before the election.  Dominion’s lawsuit reveals how little news matters to Fox News. Does Donald Trump prefer flattery over frankness? Find out in “Letters to Trump”, Donald’s latest attempt to make other's product into his profit. Michigan turns blue, and all of a sudden, good things are happening. Woke is good and Republicans are having a tough time making it bad. Americans just want to keep their kids safe from gun violence and learn the things they need to be successful in school and life. President Joe Biden gets that. A secret right-wing working group pushes anti-trans laws across the country, assisted by various idiots, and opposed by good parents.   Things are moving from tense to more tense with China, and the US needs to deal with it before they need to really deal with it.

  It’s Wednesday, and you know what that means! It means David Waldman is here. He usually shows up on Wednesdays. Wednesday, and that catchy vibraphone melody, means that Greg Dworkin is also heading our way! 90% of Americans polled want to tell the truth about the history of slavery, violence, and discrimination against racial minorities. (100% of them believe they know what that is.) The war in Ukraine is still going strong, but the same may not be said about the Wagner mercenary group, who is running out of prisoner-recruits to feed into the meatgrinder. Russia hoped for just one thing to go their way, but it looks as if they will reach a culmination point before taking Bakhmut. Europe has reached their Zeitenwende because of all of this. Tucker Carlson continues to remind his viewers that many of the January 6 insurrectionists had rarely insurrected prior to January 6. The Capitol police are rightfully outraged and offended. So are Democrats. So are Republicans… Well, many Republicans. Some Republicans are still getting their cognitive dissonance bell rung. Absolutely no one is surprised that Tucker Carlson is saying such things. Everyone knows that Fox is a propaganda network. Sure, Tucker hates Trump. Who doesn’t Tucker hate? Who doesn’t hate Tucker? Do you think Rupert Murdoch hired Carlson because anyone liked him? People watch Fox because it helps them believe that the things in their head are real. Or because they want to manipulate people who might believe those things. This might help you understand the dynamics heading into the 2024 Gop primary, but it won’t tell you who will win. Back in the real world, or sort of real world of the courts, prominent election denier Mark Finchem had been sanctioned for filing a frivolous election lawsuit. Therefore, he tried another frivolous election lawsuit. A judge rejected Scott Perry’s bid to shield more than 2,000 messages from Jusitce Department investigators, and so he has appealed, holding them at bay a little while longer. Meanwhile, Brad Raffensperger is just another Republican vote suppressor.

David Waldman presents a special Goes-It-Alone KITM today. George Santos lies. Not like Donald Trump lies, but enough to run into legal trouble. What George needs is that kind of lawyer with a “killer instinct” Trump goes for, but where is Santo’s Roy Cohn? Well, it turns out that he’s repping George in Brazil.  Jonymar Vasconcelos, “former” contract killer and neophyte legal counsel is on the case in Brazil, where Santos, who speaks fluent Portuguese, doesn’t speak Portuguese.  Rupert Murdoch is probably wondering where his Roy Cohn or Anton Chigurh is, following Tucker Carlson’s segment last night, in which Carlson proved that the January 6th insurrectionists weren’t insurrecting all day. After all, the Hindenburg also mostly flew great. At CPAC, by the time Donald Trump left the building everyone except the media were reassured that Trump was the nihilist nut he’s always been, and Republicans want. The problem is, others do that schtick, and Donald’s not the draw he used to be. Fear, bigotry and cruelty always have a market, just rotating sales staff. Lately, MAGA Republicans competing for commission have been pushing the genocide. Mesa County Clerk/whack job Tina Peters was found guilty of obstruction for playing Piggy in the Middle with her iPad and the officers with a warrant.

David Waldman and Greg Dworkin fill each other in on the latest news, and if you listen closely, you might learn something yourself. Ukraine stands unyielding in Bakhmut as Russian troops close in. Is this Ukraine’s Bunker Hill? Bunker Hill wasn’t even our “Bunker Hill”. CPAC is finally over for the… how often is it? It feels like there’s a flareup every few months. “Vengeance is mine” sayeth Donald Trump, which is exactly what his followers have always been praying for. That speech got Donald about two thirds of the CPAC straw poll, however Trump was really only talking to about half of them. Any Republican seeking the presidential nomination will have to assemble a coalition, and Trump never had a clue when it came to building things. That leaves Ron Chatbot Trump DeSantis, the lesser of two lessers. Ron is too good for CPAC, but plenty bad enough to worry about. DeSantis appointed a guy to Disney’s board who believes tap water makes people gay yet isn’t aware that Splash Mountain uses gallons of the stuff. Media Matters is suing Fox and Rupert Murdoch for illegal campaign contributions, and both DeSantis and Trump want to make that easier, in order to own the Libs.  Michael Knowles believes the only good transgender is one who has been eradicated entirely. Matt Walsh was minding his own business when suddenly other people became different than him. Where did the reason and civility of the old south go? Nowhere, really.

It’s Friday! The day of the week David Waldman commands the entire show with the freedom to address any topic as he sees fit! Also, KITM correspondent Rosalyn MacGregor, now available on Spoutible, reports on the latest attempts to ratify the Equal Rights Amendment, and Republican’s latest attempt to kill it.  George Santos lies. George diverted voter registration money to a Gop-allied gay rights site. (And probably back to his pocket.) White nationalist Groyper Nick Fuentes is a neo-Nazi, and a real asshole, entered into no-fly lists for threatening flight attendants, and a no-attend list at CPAC for dining with Donald Trump. Neo-Nazi Dildo Vendor Dallas Humber has been revealed as the narrator of terror manuals and manifestos and the advocate of white supremacist mass murder. If you think they’re bad, check out Republican Scott Perry, who wants Democrats to be quaking in fear that they will end up going to jail, and hopes to evict any government agencies who disagree with him. Republican presidential candidate... uhm, Perry Johnson, wants to kill China and Ukraine, but really soured the CPAC crowd by dissing Vladimir Putin. The Texas Gop plans to subsidize Christian breeders. Tennessee promotes their new film, “Cocaine Cop”, bans gender affirmation and criminalizes public drag performances. How can Ron ChatGPT Trump DeSantis ever compete with these despots? By making it easy to sue the media (Sorry Fox!), firing professors, and registering anyone with an opinion. Rupert Murdoch could board up Fox and retire at 91 with a few billion in the bank, but there’s always that last big score… Jim Jordan will probably need to wait for George Clooney’s documentary to reach that fame he’s been grasping for. It looks like the Deep State is as elusive as the Loch Ness Monster, with all of Jim’s whistleblowers blowing someone else’s whistles.

David Waldman and Greg Dworkin deliver us to the weekend. (Plus, Friday, the other weekend.) If Mike LIndell is brave enough to take on Fox, Democrats believe they might be also, now that everyone understands how little “news” there is over there. Fox responds that they’re not the liars, you are, and anyhow, their viewers have been asking for it, and deserve everything that’s coming to them. All their lying may not get Fox and Rupert Murdoch in as much trouble as those times when they told the truth. The FBI was afraid to go to Mar-a-Lago, because they knew that no amount of body armor could protect them from Donald Trump’s mean tweets. Following the Ohio train derailment, Senators are now proposing a rail safety bill. Republicans however want to wait a while until it becomes easier for them to duck out of voting for it. CPAC has always been nuts but now has become so MAGA that Republicans don’t want to be seen there. It might even be too MAGA for Donald Trump. Donald still has to show up to make certain that their straw poll doesn’t fill up with too many contenders, other than of course that ChatGPT version of Trump, Ron DeSantis.

David Waldman and Greg Dworkin connect every single one of the dots today. Tennessee Governor Bill Lee, about to sign an anti-drag bill, was chased by reporters holding pictures of Bill in drag. Lee again explained, as he had each time he wore a dress in school, that he was only observing lighthearted school traditions. Speaking of George Santos, serial embellisher Andy Ogles doesn’t have a degree in economics, or international relations, or psychology, and might not be able to spell those words. In his party, that won’t matter. Speaking of Marjorie Taylor Greene, she has been left aghast at the incivility of modern society recently. Marge could have been contacted for comment, but really, who would want to?  Speaking of vomiting, Ron DeSantis joins the pantheon of political puke passers and receivers. Which brings us to CPAC, and Matt Schlapp, accused sexual assaulter, marriage wrecker, and mismanager. And thus, we arrive at Donald Trump. Donald is mad at Rupert Murdoch for throwing Fox News hosts under the bus to take the heat off the Fox empire… or is the empire throwing million-year-old Rupert under the bus? Either way would be a giant advancement for the rehabilitation of journalism. The 21 billionaire owner of the largest news and publishing conglomerate in the world personally handed off confidential information to tip an American election, but eh. Talking heads will be debating the secret origins of COVID tomorrow. Speaking of the secret origins of COVID… Let’s not. Let’s talk about stopping the next one. Senator Angus King caucuses with Democrats, but when it comes to retirement age, he feels positively Republican. Being an incumbent couldn’t get Lori Lightfoot up to the starting line for the upcoming Chicago Mayoral race. Brexitism is dead, long live Brexit.

David Waldman presents another Tuesday KITM for our consideration. In Ukraine today, the “Hero of the Russian Federation”, Nikolai Kolpakov, might be even more so, after confronting the business end of a couple of Ukranian drones. In Ukraine in 1772, Russia already had active measures deployed, and the US was already providing military support. Rupert Murdoch is throwing Fox News under the bus, or as “some” say “under the table”, in a futile attempt to suppress the Dominion wildfire before it engulfs his entire empire. Rupe gave Jared Kushner previews of Biden campaign ads, along with other “confidential information”. It’s getting so hot at Fox, Republican hair is catching on fire. Over at the Trump Supreme Court, Clarence Thomas celebrated finally paying off his student loans. Cleta Mitchel argues that your vote is just your opinion, and if your vote is Democratic, your opinion does not count. Joan McCarter reports that twelve states led by Democrats are taking on the Food and Drug Administration to counter a ruling by some Amarillo judge to nationally ban medication abortion pills previously available for decades.

David Waldman swears that he saw thousands of snow geese this weekend, and as proof shares a live feed of an apparently empty lake. Who knows what you might see if you look at something hard enough. How did you find us? If you listen to the podcast, but think of it as a “blog”, and remember our past defunct affiliations, just type in the URL and you’re almost good to go... a few dozen characters, half a dozen slashes and EZPZ, you’re with David and Greg Dworkin and KITM today, the best-kept secret on the Internet, and worth the effort. This weekend many were shocked to discover that famed 90’s comic strip Dilbert is still being distributed, and perhaps even read in a few publications. That number of publications drops each time author Scott Adams reveals that he is a racist moron, and Scott Adams reveals that he is a racist moron each time the number of publications drops. Adams still has a friend in Elon Musk, who is always ready to Make Apartheid Great Again. We all know what Tucker Carlson will see when he looks at his cache of January 6 footage. He and his viewers can see it already. Tuck and the Gop took one look at the demographics of the Ohio county where the East Palestine train wreck occurred and saw White victimhood as far as their eyes could see. Conservative Canadian politicians were caught dining with a German ultra-right Anti-Islamic politician and were shocked to find out that people could look her up on Wikipedia. (She didn’t like them either). Britons don’t see what they saw in that guy, Boris Johnson. The US Department of Energy has concluded that the COVID-19 pandemic likely came from a lab leak, and as far as Republicans are concerned, that is the only department’s opinion that counts. Senator Jim Inhofe admits that he retired due to “long COVID”, and as far as Inhofe’s concerned, he’s the first to admit that he has it. Nebraska state Senator Machaela Cavanaugh will filibuster every bill until anti-abortion and gender-affirming health care bills are withdrawn. You too can Blue policies passed in your Red state, by running statewide ballot initiatives. Republicans, on the other hand, simply install their judge, then run their cases through him, creating the law for the entire country. Jessa Duggar, of the multiplying Duggars, had an abortion recently, but it’s OK, because she didn’t call it “an abortion”. If you know what to call it, it’s as easy as ordering a pizza.

David Waldman brings us the TGIF KITM. A Spanish firm called Eliminalia offers what amounts to bad plastic surgery to hide ugly internet reputations. Those with bad reputations aren’t awfully concerned about Eliminalia’s less reputable methods. George Santos lying update: He’s still lying. George said he donated thousands of dollars to Republican political campaigns. George says he helped children around the world afflicted with a rare disease. George lied. Florida Surgeon General Joseph Lapado is anti-mask, anti-vax, but very pro-BS. Fox “news” is in a heap of trouble, so unlovable dufus Kevin McCarthy hoped that handing January 6 footage to Fox’s in-house Alex Jones, Tucker Carlson, would forever endear him. Kevin is an idiot. DC police tipped off the Proud Boys before their arrest, because they are in the same gang. Kyrsten Sinema’s $300,000 security expert Is Tulsi Gabbard’s sister. Democrats are going to get rid of blue slips, real soon darn it, or the Republicans will. Special counsel Jack Smith will try to keep Mike Pence from pulling Donald Trump style delaying tactics. 

David Waldman and Greg Dworkin present today’s Fat Thursday KITM Special. Freshen up your Eastern Orthodox pączki in your coffee and join us.  Kevin McCarthy is an idiot, but never before has he been such a useful idiot, saving Fox “news” from the brink of some fair and balanced justice. Kevin handed prep school Alex Jones, Tucker Carlson a treasure-trove of treason in January 6 footage, pinpointing security weaknesses, creating a counter-history of alternative facts, and most importantly to Kevin and Tucker, keeping them both securely rich for the rest of their lives. Former Arizona AG, Mark Brnovich left office after hiding a few vowels, and the findings of a March 2022 report ruling out Trump election fraud claims. Ivanka and Jared however aren’t so lucky, now subpoenaed in Jack Smith’s Jan. 6 probe. George Santos lied, this time about donations to Republicans, which seem to have never shown up. Ron DeSantis had to come up with an opinion on foreign policy, which turned out to be uniformed. That’s ok, because so are the people who will be voting for him. Donald Trump probably can’t believe how Ron keeps eating his lunch. Meanwhile, Democrats won three big election victories in Gop states, and the Wisconsin Supreme Court election is looking good, and that’s really big. Times are changing, and NDN, the Democratic advocacy and research group run by Simon Rosenberg has done its job.

It’s Fat Tuesday no longer, although if you ate enough pączki your Ash Wednesday is also probably pretty fat. (If you found jelly in your pączek, it’s just a jelly donut.) Longtime KITM listeners expecting David Waldman and Greg Dworkin to talk about politics today had their expectations met. Democrats overperformed in elections across the country, with the Wisconsin Supreme Court primary approaching general election turnout. What does this mean for 2024, where somehow everyone is an underdog? Tim Scott and Nikki Haley will soon butt heads, and it is hoped that their heads make that coconut sound when they do. Haley calls for mental competency tests, which Republican voters really hope they don’t have to take.  Republicans aren’t exactly Nazis, but they’ll do until some real ones come along… What do you know, KITM correspondent Rosalyn MacGregor just found one in the Hillsdale County Michigan Gop. James O’Keefe isn’t good enough for Project Veritas anymore. Meanwhile, President Joe Biden stands for freedom and commitment around the world.

Put down that pączek, and cease your shriving, for just a moment. You will need at least one prune and powdered sugar free finger to tap “play” on today’s Fat Tuesday KITM with David Waldman and Joan McCarter! (Ok, take another bite.) President Joe Biden swung by a little Polish bakery he knows today on his way to make a speech pushing back on Vladimir Putin’s warmongering. George Santos admits that he was a terrible liar, and fully regrets being caught. On the other hand, Congressman Andy Ogles continues to work to hone his lying to perfection. Rick Scott pencils in a few changes on his plans to cut all of the social safety net, but vows that the sun will never set on the US Navy.  Barney Rubble stunt double Marjorie Traitor Greene secedes from her own state to declare war on all 50. Michigan’s new Republican Chair wants a reverse-Rapture to take away all non-evangelical Christians. And Kari Lake wants… to win, no more, no less. The people who have fought against "wokeness" and "cancel culture" in an effort to create a "small government" that stays out of their lives...  are making poop and pee jokes a felony punishable to 10 years in prison. You know who doesn’t believe in such reactionary dim-witted delusion? Fox nighttime hosts, for one. Dominion Voting Systems is so confident that they have the goods on Fox, they are requesting a summary judgment on liability in its $1.6 billion lawsuit against Fox News. Fox is many things, but it sure ain’t “news”. Every one of them are sliding off to Hell, and along comes Kevin McCarthy to throw them 41,000 hours of life preserver. If only Donald Trump were president he’d… be asking what have they done for him lately.

David Waldman and Greg Dworkin present our annual KITM Mattress Day Special, BOGO today, and well, most days: Surprise! President Joe Biden popped over to Kyiv today for some ice cream, and to send a message to the free world and not-so free world that even the densest in the MSM can process into a meaningful story. Well, maybe not everyone. Not Fox News, because they aren’t news, which isn’t news. Fox will say Donald Trump was too busy doing better things to bother with Ukraine. Trump is now devoting every waking hour coming up with the worst statement in the history of spoken language to make about Jimmy Carter, POTUS GOAT. Meanwhile, Russia’s rate of diminishing returns in Ukraine is approaching infinity. The New York Times hasn’t yet explained why this Ukraine trip is bad news for Joe Biden. In the meantime, they are explaining how Joe could possibly tackle the upcoming Trump juggernaut. In Michigan, the Far Right was beaten by the Further Right as Kristina Karamo, who has yet to concede her last election, wins control of the Republican party. Karamo wasn’t even Donald Trump’s first pick, although she sure is now. Folks in the Medium Far Right say RIP GOP. Florida has whittled their college curriculum down to one textbook. Oregon will crack down on paramilitary groups once they locate the Antifa ones. It’s two against two in the Wisconsin Supreme Court brackets, but the finals might be all Dems.

David Waldman makes it to the weekend! But first, we finish up Jennifer Cohn’s teardown of the Roger Stone business model, from his sadism to his deceitfulness.  It is difficult to pull off the entire “Roger Stone package”, although many Republicans are out there trying. In the dissembling camp there is of course George Santos, who is sort of the new “Lindsey Graham” but without the craftmanship. And there’s Anna Paulina Luna, who is Ashke...”Nazi”...ish. Now there’s Andy Ogles, internationally recognized as absolutely nothing he claims to be. There will always be Fox News… or maybe not. But, you just can’t count out that bunch of contenders vying for the title in Georgia. In Camp Thug you have… Well, you don’t have the Tiki Torch guy anymore, but you do have “Trump biker gangs”, still out there and ready to rumble wherever bigotry and violence are needed. If you are thinking something sounds familiar, perhaps you are recalling “Putin’s biker gangs”, who are strangely similar in their methods and intentions. Domestic terrorists don’t need biker gangs when they have the police to count on. And again, there’s always Georgia. None of them can hold a candle to the former guy, the guy who brought mob criminality and Hollywood duplicity into political corruption. 

David Waldman goes it alone again today as Greg Dworkin remains on assignment aboard the KITM World Dirigible above Dunhuang. Ruptured Republicans can’t stop committing unforced errors and seem to have every intention to keep injuring themselves. We wish them lots of luck in their senior year. Matt Gaetz has now become the best they got. Why is this man laughing? Because, unlike his hero, Roger Stone is going to get away with it. Stone not only lent support to the January 6 insurrection, but January 6 is Roger Stone, from his hate to his bullying, to his disinformation, and disingenuousness. Roger and his gang have lived their lives to make other’s lives miserable, and it’s been pretty much a success so far.

Whether it’s Hunter Biden, Donald Trump, or Greg Dworkin, all sides are having trouble with their laptops today, leaving David Waldman to play solo on this KITM: Virginia is the latest state to pass pro-suicide bills in an effort to win the “culture war” through weaponization of government. Republicans are happy to exploit the power of idiots to establish fascism but now worry that the woke mob is trying to take that all away. Russia has scarier things than balloons above the US. George W. Bush looked into Putin’s soul and saw a menace that he only told Barack Obama about.  We now know that the head of Russia's Wagner mercenary group founded and financed an election-meddling troll farm in 2016. Trump-Russia denialists still haven’t figured it out. Three-quarters of the House Gop endorsed Social Security cuts last year but wouldn’t say that’s “cutting Social Security”. Virginia sent thousands of jobs to Michigan, following the millions of dollars Ohio sent that way. Thomas Massie hopes to corner the market on unintended consequences. Mike Pence is pretty certain that he was a Senator during the Trump administration. Dianne Feinstein announced her retirement, which is news to Dianne Feinstein, and probably will be tomorrow as well.

David Waldman awakens again under the cloud of yet another page formatting crisis. Also, more people died in another mass shooting, but who knows how to fix that? Today is the day to get shot with tiny little Eros arrows, in a bacchanal of love, literature, learning, languages, and linguistics. (Offer void in FL.)  It’s probably not a good time to be flitting about in the air anyhow. Cro-Magnon Emma Frost, Marjorie Traitor Greene wonders why, if only 3 out of 4 planes on 9/11 killed people on the ground, why wouldn't Joe Biden shoot down that balloon? It’s not a good time to stick around in Russia. The US is telling American citizens that it’s time to get out of there. Anna Paulina Luna... you can call her "Mayerhofer” if you want. Anna can be “Ashkenazi”, she can be “Nazi”, whatever works best (For her.) You can even call her “Karen”. Just don’t call her “George Santos”, because that would probably be a lie. Anti-Liberalism is the new Unification Church. Joan McCarter tells us that Joe Biden handed the GQP a shovel and they can’t stop hitting themselves in the head with it. Republicans promise to stay away from Social Security and Medicare, until after they get rid of everything else. Twice, Gigi Sohn has been confirmed to be qualified for the FCC, hopefully this third time they will confirm her to the position.

Today on KITM, David Waldman and Greg Dworkin bring us the latest the soonest, right on schedule: 95 more luftballons to go, although some might be floating octagons. Even China might be getting in target practice. Who knew balloons would be such a threat? A Virginia contractor (and son) offer to help out, as they're itching to use their 60,000 foot ladder. Conservatives again had to contend with Black people at their football games. Donald Trump and Henry Winkler played Siskel and Ebert for the halftime show. Jesus would never “get” an anti-choice, anti-LGBTQ version of Jesus. Trump and Ron DeSantis declared war on Black and LGBTQ people and each other. Ron and Donald can dish it out, but sure can’t take it. “Respectable” free speech op-ed writers can’t even both-sides right. There's a new George Santos in Congress, although she could be lying about not being the old George Santos. When President Joe Biden called out Republicans on Social Security and Medicare, it not only killed Republican efforts to cut social insurance, but it also took out the Democratic efforts as well. The rupturing Republicans can’t seem to catch a break. Their investigations are falling flat mostly because they had not planned on anyone fighting back.  Right-wing fraud peddlers in Cleveland released tens of thousands of robocalls to suppress the Black vote, and bragged to each other about it in emails, earning them… probation and community service… Oh, and the largest Federal Communications Commission robocall fine in the agency’s history! 5.1 million… No, $2500. Meanwhile, Donald Trump’s lawyers are pleading executive privilege for anyone who ever heard Trump during his administration. Joe Biden plans to transform the US economy from the middle out — with hydrogen. And, not the regular kind, but with green hydrogen! Restaurants, schools, hospitals, etc., etc. are having a harder time getting people to work for them out of the love of their craft (instead of money). Russians are looking at Moldova like they looked at Ukraine. And Moldova doesn’t like that one bit.

David Waldman made it through a week of post-Covid KITMs! He made it through today’s KITM solo! Steven KG Bannon’s podcast is tops in being worst in spreading misinformation, a fact Steve's proud of, as his listeners demand to be owned as much as the libs. KITM just can't compete, as our misinformation is mostly Eastern-Orthodox based. Lord of the lies, George "sick puppy" Santos used to make a living exploiting sick puppies, now lies recreationally, and to keep his edge. You never know when some young upstart will come for your title. In fact, the FEC has asked Santos how long he plans on sticking around. George apparently inspired Mitt Romney to tell all of the truth. North Carolina sends a new “Stay in the Closet” bill to a vote, designed to out LGBTQ students and ban books. KITM correspondent Rosalyn MacGregor reports on how a new right-wing group is gearing up to introduce “Operation LGBTQ STFU” throughout Michigan. The group hopes to sway voters through public readings of actual pornography while holding up children’s books, and of course, promising to rape school officials. Paul Pelosi’s hammer attacker just wishes he had heard of some of these parent’s fantasies before he was arrested. One way to help address these situations is to win more elections. Democrats did it in Pennsylvania, flipping the House. Special Counsel Jack Smith is coming at the problem from a different direction, subpoenaing Trump’s former national security adviser, his Vice President, etc. Still, Marines charged in the January 6 insurrection were assigned NSA jobs.

On today's KITM David Waldman and Greg Dworkin continue their review of President Joe Biden's State of the Union address. And why not? It was a great speech, and Joe proved that he could stay light on his feet while trading punches all night long. Of course, Biden was fighting the Pee Wee league team coached by Kevin “Sub” McCarthy, and MVP MTG, so what do you expect? What do they expect, now that they made crazy their new normal?     Joe’s taking his victory tour to the state where sanity goes to die, Florida. No hiding in friendly states for Joe Biden, Joe knows he has the winning hand, and is ready to call the bluffs of those who do not. Democrats still believe that an appeal to decency, normalcy, and good faith to Republicans will have an effect. Republicans might not be trying to kill Social Security and Medicare (They are) but their judges are.   Angry politicians make angry voters. Angry voters make angry politicians. No one is more angry than Christian nationalists. Lauren Boebert is so angry at Twitter! Lauren is one of a conspiracy of dunces trying to wokefy old Twitter, when in reality they served everyone at the drive-through.  Just checking, is Donald Trump a pussy-ass bitch, or a pussy ass-bitch? This is nuance and precision you won’t find with ChatGPT, although what you can find is disinformation and propaganda hidden in entire fake news sites full of believably dull decoy articles. Thousands of Russian trolls, replaced by robots.

On today’s KITM, David Waldman and Greg Dworkin review last night’s State of the Union address. If like David, you have different viewing priorities, you missed out. The SOTU wasn’t only must see, it was the place to be seen. Out on the blue carpet, George Washington Santos exchanged high fives with Mitt Romney. Krysten Sinema, always a bridesmaid, never a bride, found herself far outshone by Marjorie Traitor Green, resplendent in the U-shaped carpet from her guest bathroom. Hapless substitute teacher stuck leading a fifth-grade field trip, Kevin McCarthy helplessly watched his kids forget their instructions to be good citizens and completely lose control and embarrass themselves. Of course, President Joe Biden was the adult in the room. Sure, Joe was Dark Brandon when he needed to be, but remained presidential every moment he was on the floor, and then some.  Politics are a complex thing, and winning and keeping voters will depend upon whose explanation is best understood, unless the Russians have anything to say about it.

It’s SOTU day on KITM! David Waldman and Joan McCarter are your pregame announcers, with final preparations now underway at the White House with President Joe Biden getting some stretching in, while on the other side Sarah Huckabee Sanders is busy applying her eye black of lies. As with the Super Bowl, you can be certain it won’t be exciting, but it will be big. You never know, Balloon Bustin’ Joe could show up with the Evil Chinese Spy Balloon on a pike. What would Republicans say about that? Not much, if they’re smart. January was a flop for Republicans and February isn’t looking a lot better. “Problem Solvers” and the “Main Street” Gop think they can tell the GQP what to do, when none of them have even a clue. George Santos, once bitten by a radioactive liar and now being investigated by House Ethics Committee, should be the cutaway king tonight, or queen if he’s feeling cute.  J.R. Majewski, the George Santos of Ohio, is a larger and hairier man who projects an image of rugged masculinity and might be running for office again. Representative Ilhan Omar will be at the SOTU, and there’s nothing Republicans can do about that. Omar isn’t in the same league as Marjorie Traitor Greene. KITM correspondent Rosalyn MacGregor reports from Ottawa County, Michigan, where the county board threw a county coup, featuring surprise resolutions, replacing officials with no-nothings, installing cronies, and changing that woke motto “Where You Belong” to the warmly reactionary “Where Freedom Rings.” The question of whether any of this reflected the will of the public apparently never entered their minds… but it has now. Russia's war in Ukraine might have inadvertently endangered the pipeline of cash to European politicians.  In home-grown terrorism news, the neo-Nazi couple taking out power substations around Baltimore are revealing a growing trend.

On today’s KITM, David Waldman and Greg Dworkin are forced to discuss the Evil Chinese Spy Balloon, the greatest balloon-based threat to military readiness and diplomacy since the early eighties. The United States did emerge victorious by the way, without having to resort to our nuclear arsenal, or Donald Trump brokering a deal, apparently necessary in the previous three incidents.  Mundane reality hasn’t got a chance against a good story. President Joe Biden can list his and Kamala Harris’ successes all day, but that isn’t the story most are telling themselves. More facts would help, but who needs those? Most would rather have a job. Sweater Vest Youngkin (R. VA) will take (or fake) outrage over facts any day. That's the way Ron DeSantis likes it. The only history Ron likes is the history he plans on repeating. The only books DeSantis likes… well, that’s up to teachers to decide, and if they get it wrong, they go to prison. It's time to be more “optimistic", which is that feeling conservatives feel when they are able to blame others for their mistakes. The Koch networks prefer a presidential candidate who is less of an optimist than Donald Trump.

KITM is ALL-NEW today! And, you know what that means. It means that David Waldman pre-recorded the show slightly before our normal live-recording time, and that you will have to wait until Monday to hear our definitive take on the Evil Chinese Spy Balloon, of course depending on where it ends up this weekend. Instead let’s talk about the John Durham investigation, a witch hunt that William Barr had aimed at Joe Biden to snuff out the Trump-Russia investigation. That weapon almost blew up in their faces, as the only criminal they flushed out was Donald Trump. This is okay by Republicans, as they understand that everyone has gotten used to them turning up as the culprit, but they’d like at least some suspicion aimed at Democrats, especially if it elicits investigations into their investigations of the investigations into their investigations. 

Okay, campers, rise and shine — and don't forget your booties 'cause it's cooooold out there today! You know, you can expect hazardous travel later today with that, you know, that, uh, “that blizzard thing”.  That's right, woodchuck-chuckers - it's Groundhog Day on KITM with David Waldman and Greg Dworkin! Society does continue to evolve, however. For example, maybe we don’t call them "The French" anymore. Maybe, they are "French-ish". Some have objected to “The Woke” talk recently and would rather we return to those more familiar terms their uncle used to say back when they were growing up... that is, if we value their votes. Then again, maybe it's up to them to not be assholes and to learn new words sometimes. Unfortunately, they just don’t get old and die, they keep making new ones.  For instance, Ron DeSantis is presently ready and working to take on the mantle of making America great again, or at least to keep owning the Libs. The Justice Department always seeks to find “fairness” by hitting Democrats harder, but so does the FBI and the news. They all worry that the “real danger” is Antifa and “the left”, and about foreign terrorists over domestic, even when domestic terrorists aren’t so domestic. After all, even Russians like it when everything is fair and balanced.

Good news! The mushroom tea I gave David Waldman seems to have done the trick, as he has recovered from Covid just in time for our KITM spring lambing and the dawn of a new month. Greg Dworkin has good news about those two monkeys you were worried about, and conjunctions continue to junction. How that could be bad news for Joe Biden. The Republican party hopes and dreams for actuarial arbitrage, or perhaps a falling anvil to help them with their Donald Trump problem. However, the base demands that Trump return for a third term, so what can they do? If they weren't inept obvious lunatics, Republicans could be pretty annoying. There seems to be digital smoking gun evidence on (R-Pa.) Scott Perry's phone about January 6, so let the secret hijinks begin. George Santos retired from committee work to spend more time with his family, and even after Matt Gaetz unleashed his inner Joe Manchin, Ilhan Omar is off the House Foreign Affairs Committee. Russians won’t let a hot war in Ukraine get in the way of the perpetual cold war they have around the world. In the UK, once Liz Truss lost in a rigged election against a head of lettuce it was thought the UK wouldn’t have her to kick around anymore, but she's now wondering if we miss her yet. Please clap.

David Waldman is feeling a little less positive today. That’s good, at least when it comes to Covid. President Joe Biden isn’t so positive that COVID-19 is such a big deal anymore, at least when it comes to handing out benefits. Republican’s actuarial arbitrage comes to a close on Covid, although trading remains brisk on how former the Former Guy could get soon. Not just the GQP, but the FBI and the NYT might also be checking their calendars and their watches wondering when the pressure will finally come down.  Alas, Donald isn’t going anywhere soon. Once again, we need to reexamine the web of Trump’s Russian collusion, from Oleg Deripaska to Paul Manafort, with a long, sad stop at dirtbag Charles McGonigal. George Santos isn’t going away as long as his lies keep catching up with him, and they are legion. Kevin McCarthy is being punished and humiliated each moment by Santos, which is sort of his lot in life. So, is George recusing himself from committees a bow to McCarthy’s steadfast moral compass, or is he just keeping Kev around a while longer to prolong his agony? Joan McCarter is here to help tear at Republican ruptures, although they are doing just fine on their own. Dems can sit back and enjoy the show.

David Waldman is ALIVE and LIVE today, broadcasting from the isolation wing of KITM World Headquarters, back after a week out sick with the Covid! David always could have gone with something trendy but he stuck with the classics. A healthy 400 miles away, Greg Dworkin pilots a superraft of stories into dock.  Norms! Not a problem for Republicans, but they can keep even popular Democratic Governor Kathy Hochul from getting the judge she wants. That infighting is nothing compared to the ruptured Republicans. No one is buying what they’re selling, because they're bad politicians with bad policies. Even the best products fail without a good sales staff. World's worst salesman/criminal, Donald Trump continues to elude law enforcement. Of course, Trump had plenty of accomplices. The Republican controlled House should have hearings on how corrupt FBI agents teamed with the mainstream media in an effort to weaponize government... but what are the chances of that? Plenty of dots connect Russia to scumbag Charles McGonigal, to Paul Manafort to Trump. The dots are almost big enough to connect themselves.

It's been no fun being away from the microphone, but I think I'm almost back in the clear. One more day of reruns, and a "traditional" Friday show... for a Friday! Our January 28, 2022 episode follows: David Waldman delivers us to Friday! Probably because he didn’t have to drive over a bridge in Pittsburgh to get there. Who isn’t wild about Harry? The same Tennessee school board against Maus, because of “the cussing”, believe the song “I’m Just Wild About Harry” is a little “too hot” for kids... Ironic isn’t it, that the song was originally controversial for implying that Black people were capable of romantic relationships? In the board’s defense, they might not have been aware of that, as that district has always been untouched by CRT, and that song has long been purged of race… pretty much. You’d think ol’ times there are not forgotten, but some do have selective memories. Glenn Youngkin is banning the teaching of “critical race theory” in his state but forgot he helped set it up in his kid’s school. In Florida, civil rights are a memory some would prefer to soon forget. Fox News can’t remember any Black people that made it through school. (Republicans on the judiciary committee will sure be surprised to see a Black woman in business attire.) Joe Rogan actually can’t remember seeing a Black person outside of a National Geographic. Senior Black Correspondent Darwin H.M. reports that the NFL is down to a single Black head coach after it pledged to do better with diversity, as Black coaches are required only successes and allowed no mistakes over any season. Sarah Palin, on the other hand, can be as dumb as wants, wherever she wants, and waiters will find her the best table. Texas redistricted to reduce Black and Hispanic voting power. That’s probably against the law, but they’ll work around that also. Arizona will just pass a law to allow them to change any election they don’t like. The Equal Rights Amendment has been almost for most lifetimes, but maybe it’s more almost now.

Out sick again, today! So, our January 27, 2022 episode (a Thursday, for a different kind of continuity) takes us back in time: David Waldman and Greg Dworkin deliver the latest, broadcast from KITM World Headquarters, a microcosm of America located in the heart of Virginia, a microcosm of America. Public schools just seem to be designed to make children less ignorant and more independent, and therefore have always inspired conservative fear and hatred. Whatever schools are for, if you are against it, you’ll get Republican votes. Virginia schools are melting down and Glenn Youngkin promised to light the torch. Most VA school districts are resisting but Youngkin voters are just happy to know some are suffering like they do in their imaginations. A Mississippi mayor is defunding any county library that stirs any of his homosexual anxieties. A school board in Tennessee banned a Pulitzer Prize-winning graphic novel about the Holocaust, Maus. It must be not only too soon to address the Holocaust, but also the overt sexuality of the first African American hit play, 1921’s Shuffle Along, and of course that wantonly hotsy-totsy song “I’m Just Wild About Harry”. Does the rest of the country meet these folks “halfway” in order to save democracy? Or is a more radical solution needed? Oh, maybe later we’ll get to that. First, we need to confirm a new Supreme Court Justice, quickly and fuss-free, like the last one. Of course, it would help to have a vacancy or two, but really everything is up for debate.

Oh noes! Another sick day! So we bring out the time machine, and the Jan. 25, 2022 episode. School districts around the country continue to find themselves in disagreement with the virus about reopening policies. John Eastman discovers a new constitutional amendment for Trumpniks to love, even though TFG says he hates it. Meanwhile TCG (the current guy) in Virginia is turning out to be pretty Trumpy, even as he encourages turning in teachers. Though the same could be said for a lot of Gop govs. And one Idaho school board is done with (telling parents about) the virus, too! In fact, every Republican in the state is kind of done with sanity. Senior Idaho Republicans are Crazy correspondent Joan McCarter came by, to do nothing to dissuade us of that. But we did—as always—get some insights into the situation in Idaho, and a run down of the next emergencies in Congress. You know: the old government shutdown trick, the old election protection bait-and-switch, and of course, the old Manchin bait-and-switch.

Had to take a "sick day" today, but we committed to not taking any medications until the KITM time machine had been safely parked. Here's how things went down a year ago, on January 24, 2022: Whew! David Waldman announces that COVID 19 finally disappeared this weekend! It kind of was like magic, wasn’t it? Oh no, sorry, typo — that’s “Aaron Rodgers” ... Aaron Rodgers who went away. The pandemic, on the other hand is a lot tougher. Bari Weiss and Bill Maher aren’t “done” yet. Even Sarah Palin won’t be able to ghost this virus… or perhaps she can. As Greg Dworkin explains, going back to normal from the pandemic depends on which pandemic you are talking about, and which normal you hope to return to. The trick is, you need to get used to a lot of people dying all of the time. Donald Trump, Samuel Alito, and Glenn Youngkin have become fine with people dying in their hands, so you can too. Mask policy on the other hand, that’s something some people are ready to die, and kill for. If one mask prevents the sale of one gun, that’s a violation of a sacred right. It’s America, so high schoolers held back until they’re 18 or over can now carry guns, plus they don’t have listen to anyone talk about someone else’s civil rights anymore. You know who had a bad day though? Donald Trump! They’re picking on his little girl! No — Ivanka! Ivanka Kushner! Of course, her dad had plans for seizing voting machines, overthrowing democracy, etc. , but Ivanka is barely two Rittenhouses old and should be left alone. Newt Gingrich plans for January 6 committee members to be locked up by next January. January 6 insurrectionist lawyer Paul Davis is now patriot lawyer for patriots since his previous employment changed the locks. John Pavlovitz has Republican friends, but he doesn’t respect them anymore. Rick Wilson might have a few Republican friends left, but don’t bet on it. The Virginia Attorney General ran low on state people to fire and since moved on to firing the private sector. Over in Great Britain, Conservative MP Nus Ghani was fired for showing too much “Muslimness” in meetings.

Today on KITM, David Waldman celebrates the year of the cat/rabbit, and Greg Dworkin pops in with a very abbreviated pundit roundup. We are once again under the cloud of a mass shooting. ™ This weekend, the cloud stopped over Monterey Park in California with an older Asian-American man killing people in an Asian-American neighborhood. Needless heroes, needless deaths. Always different, always the same. Donald Trump made a campaign stop in Fayetteville, North Carolina, but was delayed by hours of people going on about Lynette "Diamond" Hardaway, a person who frustratingly was not him.  Donald got to meet her sister though, so it wasn’t a total loss. TFG heads to South Carolina for his next stop, but won’t have a casket as his opening act, just Lindsey and Dilbert. A Judge fined Trump about a million dollars for filing a revenge lawsuit against Hillary Clinton, the best ROI on any investment Donald ever made. Trump is giving up on Truth and will be heading back to Twitter where he knows he’s loved. Joe Biden’s presidency has done very well, except that he has not cured partisanship. Why this is bad news for Joe Biden. Now that they’ve seen space, billionaires are becoming bored with owning our minds. What’s next for our heroes?  Remember to donate today to help one out. The Left could be rich too, if they only could learn to make their listeners eat themselves alive in obsessive porn-sadness and anger. On the other hand, there is no one more understanding and forgiving than a Republican upon discovering one of their own flock has strayed.  A blog commenter named Beowulf invented the trillion-dollar coin idea, while a school in Massachusetts is working on a trillion-dollar electric bill.

Sorry, David Waldman has no George Santos news for you today! I, however, cannot resist. No George Santos-ish news is always good news, at least for Republicans. Steve KG Bannon claims George is bulletproof now, but that’s still up for debate. Florida Republican Greg Steube loves Russia, but still ended up on the wrong side of a 25-foot ladder. Good news for John McCain, bad news for your cousin the numismatist, it looks as if there won't be a $1000000000000 coin available to paste into anyone’s album soon. Take that up with Marilynn Malerba. Your gold bug cousin probably has never been happy, but the coin would have been platinum anyhow. Of course, a fair sales tax would include all transactions and full disclosure, good news for everyone. New York Governor Kathy Hochul wants a floor vote on her judge pick but will continue to be given a tough time. Actor Alec Baldwin might not deserve involuntary manslaughter charges in the Rust movie set shooting, but the situation is not so cut and dried for Rust movie producer, Alec Baldwin. Where are those movie scenes glorifying proper gun maintenance?  A lot of men let their guns do the talking in America. Republicans often seek a violent solution to any rejection, and any conspiracy to defend their position. Beats thinking. A legal reckoning awaits John Eastman, who hangs tough, showing the same loyalty to Donald Trump that Donald would show to... uhm…

David Waldman and Greg Dworkin serve up a veritable smörgåsbord of newsy delights today. Belly-up to some KITM: George Santos Devolver Zebrowski is at it again. Meet Kitara Ravache, Brazilian drag queen, the very avocation by which Nazi/MAGA/right-thinking Americans lately find themselves aroused into fury.  George might lie and embezzle occasionally, but he’d never admit to that. Ron DeSantis and Christopher Rufo are happy to attack any institution. Win or lose, at least they are out there trying to be hurtful. Wherever Republicans are in charge, cruelty is always the point. And so, there’s now the “debt ceiling fight”, in which the US fights to avoid it, and the Gop aims for it.  They aren’t called “Republicans” in Israel, but it’s still understood that governing isn’t on the agenda. New Zealand Prime Minister Jacinda Ardern is just so tired of the Covidiots, she’s getting out. Recurring villain Natalia Veselnitskaya resurfaces in Swiss court, winning one for the bad guys. Back in the states, either idiots or terrorists are still shooting up power substations. Why can’t they be both?  A New York state Senate Committee rejected Democratic Governor Kathy Hochul's nominee, Hector D. LaSalle, for chief judge, and on the day David left his copy of the New York State Constitution in his other pair of pants, too. Sam Bankman-Fried gave money to every internet journalist outside of Glenn Greenwald apparently. Semafor returns their check.

It's Wednesday on KITM, so of course David Waldman and Greg Dworkin are here to haul in their rafts of stories. Anything less would be as unthinkable as a data breach at Norton LifeLock, but less possible. Breaking news: George Santos is worse than we thought, and we were thinking pretty bad... Killing a homeless disabled veteran's dog for money bad. Santos Devolder Zabrovsky denies it, which cinches that. George is now a made man in the MAGA Republican House however, and thus untouchable from this point on. Nothing is untouchable for Matt Schlapp, at least that's what he thought. Schlapp is a lowly lobbyist though, not qualified to lead and safeguard this nation. Kevin Reek McCarthy wants a photo op with President Joe Biden before he heads to the House floor to trash him and the economy. A 30% sales tax would really own the Libs. The Ohio Gop disenfranchises military voters, collateral damage in their war on democracy. Wyoming Republicans plan to phase out electric vehicles by 2035 and will probably require Wyoming wind to avoid turbines. Well, “Ars longa, vita brevis”, which is Latin for YOLO, LOL. Why can't we treat these idiots like idiots? Because we're better than that. Nevertheless, Trump’s a crook, Biden’s not. Republican MAGA mind Solomon Peña funded and armed terrorist attacks on Democratic officials in New Mexico, but the last few years had been encouraging for right-wing wackos. Tough on crime Republicans decide to not be so tough on themselves and pulled HR 27. The RNC should just give up and let Mike Lindell take over.

David Waldman and Joan McCarter present the Pre-Apocalypse Tuesday KITM Special: House Republicans seem ready to unleash economic Armageddon, but don’t worry, they have a plan. The plan is to sacrifice some now, and the rest later until it’s all gone. President Joe Biden will need to think big, really big, to stop them. Not Matt Taibbi, nor Jim Jordan have yet revealed the depth of big tech’s failure to reign in, or report dangerous extremists. Maybe Elon’s planning on saying something. MAGA mind Solomon Pena, election denier, Jan 6 attendee, ex-Marine, convicted felon, failed New Mexico Republican candidate, and sore loser, assembled a hit squad of armed mercenaries to, you know, shoot at people, which is bad politics, and illegal. Great-grandson of MLK Jr., George Santos might not be the best fit for his job, but if he can stay away from teacups, umbrellas and 5th floor windows a while longer, Kevin McCarthy could still use him, in fact, it might be in Kev’s gimp agreement to use him.

On today's KITM David Waldman and Greg Dworkin welcome those of you celebrating Martin Luther King Jr. Day, and if you don't, this is kind of a weird place for you to end up.  Today is a day for service and inspiration, or for those attempting to reduce the impact of a martyr by pretending he's their hero. Ron DeSantis is taking the liberal out of liberal arts with shock troops led by Christopher Rufo. Finland has grade school classes in how to identify false information. New Jersey will be the first state to teach classes in spotting fake news. There goes Fox News' whole business model. Virginia sweater model Glenn Youngkin turned down millions in income for his non-vest wearing constituents by blocking a new Ford battery plant that would have also profited evil Chinese commies. What's the difference between the Biden and Trump classified document situations? Well, one is supposed to cause Lib tears. George Santos, if that's his real name, and often it doesn't seem to be, loves to lie and steal, which would normally make him an asset for organized crime… if he didn't love lying quite so much.  Republicans are in disarray and recounting and recounting the 2022 votes aren't really helping. People might vote for a Republican, but few want a MAGA.

Of all the luck, now David Waldman can't locate his 2023 NAFTA calendar for our latest holiday news. While we're determining whose fault that is, check out these links: Sport legend, and Matt Gaetz’ adopted son George Santos stays in the headlines by maintaining an air of mystery around himself. The Jan. 6 panel released evidence of the enablers, line-straddlers and quiet resisters in the GQP who contributed to the insurrection. Don’t forget their spouses. Neo-fascist “active clubs” avoid telling venues that they are Nazi rallies, as some places are sensitive to those things. Electric substation vandalism seems to be trending in the nutcase community, but they finally caught a couple of them in Washington state. Progressives could spend their time harassing Kevin McCarthy, but really, they have better things to do, and would rather avoid the crossfire. The filibuster continues to evolve, but it never seems to be in a good way.

David Waldman and Greg Dworkin bring us the Thursday KITM, or as we like to call it, Today’s Show™: Celebrated Congressman/Senator/Justice George Santos is thinking about retiring soon to spend more time with his family, professional sports career, and business ventures. It’s just that so many rely upon him, 142, maybe 142,000 people, that it’s a tough decision. Republicans used to care about the secure handling of classified information… Oops! They care again! Now it has become such a crisis that Merrick Garland appointed a special counsel quicker than anyone, especially Merick Garland, could have ever imagined. Republicans passively enabled the January 6 insurrection, but now that they have some control, they are able to take a more hands-on approach. Women resisting impregnation will soon become a criminal offence, even though that means more people saying “labor”, and they hate that word.  Democrats can fight back Republicans on border/immigration issues by actually taking charge and not engaging in their trolling and stunts. Ron DeSantis wants to be Donald Trump, but he still has a long way to go. In legislative elections, Democrats are defying history, and more Americans now live in a Democratic trifecta than a Republican trifecta, and inflation is moderating, though stuff could be cheaper.

All flights in the US have been grounded. They have resumed. What happened? Greg Dworkin and David Waldman reminisce about old friends and good times back in the day at Daily Kos.  House power sub Kevin McCarthy is busy “leading” House Republicans, but where are they going? First, they have to vanquish taxes, of course, but after that and the elimination of wokeness, CRT, and all of Donald’s enemies, there really isn’t that much remaining on their agenda other than taking each other out. At least now they have a nice expense account to put it on. Let’s say you lend your neighbor a hammer, which you only remember when he comes around to return it. Or, let’s say you lend your neighbor a chain saw, which he refuses to return, so you send the cops, and they find your lawnmower too, and your neighbor says they’re all his now. Trump’s tax returns mostly outline what he’s still hiding. In about a half a year from now Georgia indictments will be flying, maybe. The feds say they’d be in it for the long haul in their January 6 investigations, if it wasn’t for those time limits. The Bolsonarist rabble were roused by Twitter, Facebook and Instagram as expected. Tricky George Santos, probably not the first guy with Covid, probably linked to half a dozen crimes, probably won’t be here for us to kick around pretty soon. Lynnette 'Diamond' Hardaway never supported COVID-19 vaccination, and nothing is going to change her mind on that. The first major special election of 2023 was a big blue win. And Katie Porter announces her bid for US Senate, giving Dianne Feinstein a little nudge towards retirement.

It's a happy two for Tuesday again on KITM as David Waldman welcomes back Joan McCarter! A moment of silence for Diamond and Silk’s “Diamond”, now being held to a higher standard. Both-sides journalism was thrown a lifeline yesterday with classified documents showing up at an office President Joe Biden previously used. Rudy Colludey Giuliani has been subpoenaed by special counsel Jack Smith’s investigation into Donald Trump’s Save America PAC fraud. C-Span aims to be non-partisanly boring, but when occasionally engaging material emerges, who owns it? Republicans extended their parody of American governance with an anti-rules rules package containing secret rules for House Power Sub Kevin McCarthy.  Wealthy tax cheats get the first treats, perhaps funded by the Defense Department, or maybe a debt default, no promises. Brazilian insurrectionists have assembled their Trumpian coup kit with guidance from our MAGA minds. People aren’t deluded by right-wing lies; right-wing liars are motivated by their success in lying. 

David Waldman and Greg Dworkin steer Monday’s raft of stories into the storm. The coming chaos is inevitable as it is predictable. All Kevin McCarthy wanted was the title, and that’s all that the Freedom Caucus is giving him. In return, the Freedom Caucus gets all of the freedom, which leaves all of the responsibility up for grabs. Rules are the last thing they want to talk about, but unfortunately for them is the next thing they have to do. No one in the driver’s seat actually means everyone gets a steering wheel. On the other hand, those who understand rules, really love rules, have come to the right place. H. Res. ___ hasn’t even been numbered yet, David explains that, then pores over all the theretos and thereons therein the damn thing, or at least enough to give you an idea of how Lauren Boebert feels right now. Oh well, we’re stuck with them, just like the UK is stuck with Tories. Brazil still has a chance after fending off Bolsonaro insurrectionists supplied with a coup in a kit made in America. The former guy says the present guy made Russia bomb Ukraine. Realistically, it will be up to the West to clean it up.

January 6, and Republicans seem to have come up with the most on-brand commemoration imaginable, by self-insurrecting in the Capitol. A dozen years of destruction, and now even the New York Times has noticed. Yesterday’s fringe has become too establishment, as today’s fringe will be tomorrow's establishment. And, as they are Republican fringe, the NYT, and other media are expected to acclimate. David Waldman foresees how these present dips (dip-elects) could recreate the chaos they’ve stumbled into, intentionally, to really create chaos in January 2025.  Kevin McCarthy continues to devalue the speakership in hopes of it becomes as worthless as he is. This works against the laws of physics, as Kevin becomes a worse candidate the more concessions he makes. The best, obvious solution to all of this is of course, the least likely to happen, even considering the supplemental benefits.  Anyhow, The House speaker vote is the best thing on TV right now. The cool kids watch C-SPAN. 

David Waldman and Greg Dworkin are the leaders, and speakers we need on Day 3 of Kevin Can Wait.  The title of House speaker is Kevin McCarthy’s to lose, and he’s just the guy to do it too. Kevin spent last night making the speaker job even more worthless in the hope that just enough people will eventually find the job as worthless as him. Almost no one wakes up, looks in their own mirror and plots the ways they are going to achieve mediocrity or worse, to make your life, as their leader, miserable, except Kevin McCarthy, who has spent his entire career solely striving for better titles on his business cards. (Yep, kind of like Elise Stefanik.) It’s not all Kevin’s fault though. Believe it or not, some in the Freedom Caucus may not be taking their responsibility so seriously. The people who put them in office sure didn’t. So now the GQP wants a solution today, no matter what cost, to make their embarrassment stop. No members, no power, nor the prospect of President Patty Murray is as important. All it would take is 3-4 Republicans yelling “Hakeeeeeeeem Jeffries!” and they all would straighten out right quick.

Join David Waldman, Greg Dworkin, and Joan McCarter for today’s special KITM Epic Epicaricacy Bash where the fun never ends, at least certainly not today.  Congrats to Hakeem Jeffries on his speaker of the House wins, 3 for 3 4 for 4 in votes, the only unity candidate in contention, the only one inspiring any loyalty at all. Democrats and Republicans did unite to elect an independent as speaker … in Pennsylvania. In DC, unifying heroes are hard to come by. Could it be Patrick McHenry? How about good old Fred Upton? Or maybe Steve Scalise? Sad! It’s such a cluster for the Republicans, that the most cheerful guy on the floor is probably George Santos, celebrating his swearing in yesterday. Santos at this moment has probably reached his lifetime career pinnacle. Kevin McCarthy is so desperate that he’s even trying to cater to Republicans interested in government. What wouldn’t McCarthy do to gain power that Jim Jordan hasn’t already done for fun? Can he debase himself even more with Boebert and Gaetz? Can Donald Trump own McCarthy any more than he does now? Can Kevin actually lower the bar low enough to get over? Maybe they should just quit now and let Cheryl L. Johnson run the place. She’s doing all right so far.

New day, still sort of a new year. David Waldman discusses the latest news. Well, it was the latest this morning. You have got to hope there’s been some more upbeat updates on Damar Hamlin since this morning, Charlie Kirk is human garbage, but that’s old news. There is probably some good news regarding the 118th Congress’ vote for House speaker, and by good, I mean bad for the wackjobs involved, the “Only Kevins”, “Never Kevins”, and especially Kevin.  Today is George Santos, alias Anthony Santos, alias Anthony Zabrovsky, alias Anthony Devolder’s first day as House representative... purportedly. George has no comment at this time, as his press secretary quit. Elise Stefanik’s press secretary is as busy as ever, stating that everything that anyone has ever known about Stefanik has always been fake news. People getting shot around New Year’s, or any other time of year, remains a pretty evergreen story. A guy can carry an armload of guns into a supermarket bathroom, load them, and put on body armor, but he and the Founders never really intended any harm.

David Waldman and Greg Dworkin wish you all a happy new year! It’s not a prediction per se, but a nice objective. 2023 won’t be a good year to avoid gun deaths. New Year's Eve parties featured the usual accidental shooting deaths, and related casualties and injuries. Not universally beloved Pope Benedict’s death might just reshape the Catholic Church, or maybe not. Congress votes for a new speaker of the House tomorrow. Historical as always, but this time maybe a little more historical, and hopefully a little more hysterical than usual. Understudies await in the wings to rescue their party, or at least to get a chance to burn it all down. Hakeem Jeffries will receive Democratic votes, but the chances of a unity candidate are slim. Everyone knew that Republicans did not deserve a red wave, but skewed polls implying a red wave still did plenty of damage. Hardline Elise Stefanik supporter, Elise Stefanik has had a hate-love-loooooove relationship with Donald Trump which Donald rightfully distrusts. David teams up with the New York Times to find how Stefanik’s craven opportunism might not be enough to keep her on top.

David Waldman rings out the old year and wrings out his queue of stories today. Professional wad Andrew Tate hoped to reassure someone about his manhood by taking on Greta Thunberg, bête noir of coal-rolling bro-incels. Greta was not impressed. In a tale as old as time, this forced Andrew to tap into his strategic reserves of cringe in order to deliver the expected super flaccid low-T rebuttal. As if on cue, who shows up but the Directorate for the Investigation of Organized Crime and Terrorism in Romania, under the auspices of... the Group of Experts on Action against Trafficking in Human Beings, or “GRETA”. You can’t make this up. In fact, Ben Dreyfuss won’t allow you to even speculate that a pizza box led to Tate’s downfall unless you speak Romanian, and you don’t, do you? George Santos gets in a few more lies and investigations about his lies before the new year, and the term he will definitely still be sworn into. Kevin McCarthy needs all the liars and scofflaws he can get, in other words, the majority of his party for the speakership. The Santos story was broken by a small local paper in Long Island, whose readers probably skipped over for real estate news. Kari Lake told us that if we’d only let her have what she wanted, things would gone better for us. Now it’s a coup until we do. MAGA and QAnon are more suited to fighting dirty than winning anyhow. The select committee on January 6 is releasing thousands of pages of transcripts in its final week, including interviews with Trump Jr., and Ray Epps. Obama was right. The Citizens United decision did open the door to foreign money in U.S. elections. A Congresswoman fought 18 months to do right by her constituents, and she did.

You can get the who, what, and where anywhere, but on KITM David Waldman and Greg Dworkin focus on “the why” behind the news. Jew-ish Republican-elect George Santos, who goes under the name of George Devolder and Anthony Zabrovsky, claims to be Holocaust, 9/11, Pulse Nightclub, and cancer-adjacent, and quasi-graduated from a series of prestigious schools, becoming eventually wealthy-destitute, as well as somewhat black-ish. Even Marjorie Taylor Greene can’t shovel the BS like George can. George Santos threatens the Republican party’s reputation as a moral standard as well as their planned speakership knifings. Now it turns out that George’s crime-like behaviors might be deemed crime-actual with investigations being initiated at federal and local levels. Buffalo drops its driving “ban” in favor of an “advisory” allowing Buffalonians the freedom to freeze where they choose. Officials finger point to stay warm, while poor and POC take the brunt as always. In Nevada, Michele Fiore (yeah, you remember her) has no judicial experience, and yet Republicans appointed her to a judgeship in Pahrump… Pahrump? Pahrump Justice Court.

As we approach the new year, David Waldman continues on his warm beverage adventure featuring the mulch-in-a-mug assortment I recently sent his way. Greg Dworkin drinks his tea the way God intended, British. Glass Onion, the No. 1 movie on Netflix, has received mixed reviews, enjoyed by those who understand mysteries, comedies and movies, and disliked by the others who enjoy and understand nothing. Jew-ish Republican-elect George Santos somehow managed to make even Fox News look “Fair and Balanced” and represents the future of the Republican party. George would be lying if he didn’t credit Donald Trump for his entire existence. The old master, however, has been off his game lately and is taking it pretty hard. The January 6 Select Committee's Final Report continues to be condensed and distilled for better dissemination and understanding. David spends more time examining what the Jan. 6th Report says about the Fake Electors scheme, and Stefanie Lambert, a down on her luck pettifogger hitting the big time by taking down democracy. There’s good news! The economy is still flying above the treetops, and wage inequality is dropping because of low unemployment, because of Joe Biden. Republicans don’t know what to make of it, or anything else for that matter. And in a Korean/USA holiday miracle,10 South Korean tourists stranded in a blizzard near Buffalo found refuge, and a pantry full of the ingredients for Korean cuisine!

Today, David Waldman presented a limited edition KITM, offered live only to a select audience in his kitchen this morning, but now publicly available at an amazingly low price! Are Rooibos and Yerba Mate teas any good? One way to find out.  Just Security sums up the January 6th Select Committee’s final report, and The Bulwark focuses on the Trump coup’s fake elector scheme, Donald Trump claims that he has total immunity and total innocence, the MAGA mantra. Adam Schiff points out that is the one thing to remember about Jan 6. Russian weenie king Pavel Antov fell out a window and died. Pavel's co-traveler died a couple of days before. Russian plutocrats are incredibly limber and yet strangely clumsy. The Russian Foreign Minister is afraid that they might have to send their army into Ukraine if things don’t improve.  Someone made the mistake of numbering Democrats, when they could all walk through the door at the same time, like Republicans. George Santos might be Jew-ish, gay-y, rich-esque, but he’s definitely a phony.

KITM gave the staff the whole day off for Christmas this year, allowing us to be here all the earlier next morning for Boxing Day! The first rule of Boxing Day is you do not sing Boxing Day carols. Instead, David Waldman and Greg Dworkin of course croon only the best Christmas songs written by Jewish men, (All of them.) including that anti-nuclear annihilation ditty, “Do You Hear What I Hear?”, and the Ukrainian export, “Carol of the Bells”.  It’s also Monday, so Greg’s here to review with us all of the punditry that he has heard and seen recently. Boxing Day is big in the UK, primarily with those not freezing or starving to death. In a decade or so, survivors might look back at Brexit and appreciate it more. Over our holiday weekend, 13 people died in a blizzard in Buffalo, New York. People with a sense of humor clearly not burdened by “wokeness” vandalized more power substations and trafficked migrants to the sidewalk outside Vice President Kamala Harris' residence. Donald Trump said some Donald Trump things. Elon Musk will be remembered in the same breath as the Mona Lisa, if she was a tech bro corporate bossist troll. Why tweet when you can tusk or toot or something? The great detectives in the January 6 committee deduced the culprit, but now righting his wrongdoings are our responsibility. Dominion Voting Systems should sue Trump for defamation, but would it be worth it? Stefanie Lambert might have defamed more people for Trump than any other lawyer. TFG does not look like a shoe in for the Republican 2024 primary.  Neither does Ron DeSantis. Volodymyr Zelensky inspired with his Christmas message. Useful idiots over here would rather give up Christmas than embrace Zelensky.

This morning, David Waldman slipped on his KITM mukluks, and disappeared into the hyperborean maelstrom bearing down upon our World Headquarters. You stay warm with this freshly baked, pre-recorded Friday show. Things are getting hotter for Donald Trump. The January 6 committee’s final report contains transcripts of the insurrectionist rogue's gallery attempting to cling to the 5th amendment (and any other amendment handy) while garroting the Constitution. TFG is miffed but can’t come up with any new lies at this point. FPOTUS is the villain, but he wouldn’t have got away with so much with better intelligence and enforcement. Yep, it is time to reform the Electoral Count Act. Scum overflowing out of Mar-a-Lago is settling over Sarasota, Florida, home of many sad normal people.  Freshman Republican George Santos is taking Christmas break off to get in touch with himself, whomever that might be, and tie the million loose threads of his biography together. Kevin McCarthy knows that whatever is eventually revealed about Santos, it can’t be as bad as what people already know. Robert Zimmerman, Santos’s Democratic opponent, tried to tell you. The Iowa city with 800 residents, and 3 police officers, with 90 machine guns, could probably defund their police a bit.

David Waldman and Greg Dworkin count down the days leading us to the next day and day after that, which is always a good plan. After all, them’s the rules. Elon Musk might not really be suited to run Twitter, or much of anything, but at least Tesla, for as long as it lasts, shares his sense of humor. Musk’s fart mode sure beats Musk's petty asshole mode.  On the opposite end of the spectrum, Ukranian President Volodymyr Zelensky wowed and inspired in an address to Congress yesterday with his intellect, confidence, charisma and style. If Zelensky’s line of clothing were offered on Amazon, he could cover half of his military budget. Zelensky’s look however isn’t Tucker Carlson’s style. Apparently, it’s not Matt Gaetz nor Loren Boebert’s either. Those two came into Congress armed to the teeth, as far as anyone knows, but then ended up only shooting spitwads. Right-wingers hate what Zelensky and Ukraine represent. It’s “Ukraine”, not “the Ukraine”, by the way. Tucker and Sean Hannity are fervent believers in the separation of work and prison. We momentarily rack focus from Trump treason over to Trump tax fraud, thanks to the generosity of the House Ways and Means Committee. So far experts reviewing the data have determined that Donald Trump is a big fat loser. Even those who believe Trump always lies have been surprised that the IRS wasn’t auditing Trump at all, for years. Oh, so that is why Donald leaned on Mitch to prioritize confirming the IRS general counsel. Shapeshifting Congressman-elect George Santos can be whatever you want him to be. It looks as if he was whatever his wife wanted back when he was claiming to be openly gay. The closest Santos has been to Jewish-Catholicism is mixing the Pączki and Sufganiyot order at Dunkin’. Title 42 wasn’t the answer to anything, except keeping some border patrol agents and a few migrants busy. Now Chuck Schumer and his trusty sidekick Kyrsten Sinema have come up with a solution.

David Waldman and Greg Dworkin perform another KITM Holiday Miracle today, by pulling the same-sized show out of the shortest day! Donald Trump’s tax returns are finally public. It turns out that Trump always could have released his taxes, and that he was not being audited. I mean, I am not sure if we can trust the guy anymore. Trump’s longtime friend, investor, and former IRS chief John Koskinen must have forgotten to submit Donald’s returns for their “mandatory” audits... The New York Times talked to Warren G. Harding voters in a diner and warns of a slippery slope in political civility and nasty Republicans. Republicans can calm their tits for tats, because Americans would actually like to know which public servants are on the take. MAGA still wants to see heads roll, whether they’re IRS, FBI, or Kevin McCarthy or Mitch McConnell’s. They’ll use the Holmen rule to take down any Republican in their path. They’re even a little tired of Donald Trump, at least enough to help pass the Electoral Reform act to prevent him from stealing the next election. Professional lickspittle Mike Pence’s best days might be behind him.

David Waldman delivers another Happy Holiday KITM. There might be plenty of oil to go around, but we’re always low on the schmaltz. Yesterday, the Jan. 6th committee recommended prosecution for Donald Trump. They’re not the first and won’t be the last. Trump knew this was coming and as expected had a meticulously considered statement prepared. More pieces of the coup puzzle fell into place once investigators looked into Scott Perry’s cell phone and email records, and Jeffrey Clark’s Google Docs autosave revisions to his failed autobiography. There are many questions we may never know the answer to, one being how Hope Hicks does it, but Hope did describe to the Jan 6 committee how her creepy old dude boss acted around January 6. Long before the recent unfortunateness at the bird site, David pointed out that Trump was violating insurrection laws old school, and yet that somehow wasn’t included in the charges. A judge threw a bone, and a two-day trial to Kari Lake, allowing Lake several more grifting days before her time’s up. Congress’ newest grifter, George Santos, né George Devolder, can’t keep his stories straight on absolutely anything, except that Democrats make him lie, and Russians are pretty cool.

David Waldman and Greg Dworkin herald a happy holiday season as we start off the week. Vox Pecuniae, Vox Dei for Elon Musk, who has become used to losing users while using losers... although however now we’re talking cash, and that cash is talking smack. Elon appears to be going the way of Caesar, if Caesar planned to install a straw boss between those knives and himself. Musk can’t imagine anyone else handling the job, but of course Elon’s shortcoming has always been a lack of imagination. Someone had to tell Donald Trump that he wasn’t president anymore, when he thought he was king. This week, the January 6 Committee and the House Ways and Means Committee will continue to present Donald with the gift of reality. TFG NFT lawsuits and investigations haven’t even started yet. Steve KG Bannon can’t even anymore. How this is good news for Trump. Democrats are feeling good going into 2023. Republicans can’t make “hard on crime” work for them for 2022.  President Joe Biden’s job approval is surging as Joe delivers on Trump’s promises over and over again. How this is bad news for Biden. The coup is ongoing, as long as there are crossword puzzles, litterboxes, dildos and elections. Ron DeSantis will impanel a grand jury to investigate the disturbing lack of lightbulbs in asses during the height of the Covid pandemic.  Republican George Santos, if that’s his real name, was somehow elected to Congress on Long Island in New York without specifics such as his residence, employment and education history being verified by anybody in the Democratic opposition.

MAJOR ANNOUNCEMENT! Today, David Waldman releases another special edition KITM episode! Each one has a unique date and will be treasured for generations. COLLECT THEM ALL! Donald Trump’s “major announcement” yesterday was that he was selling digital trading cards with heroic caricatures of him for $99 each. (Why not $88? Trump missed a bet there.) Oh boy, what a stupid idea! Who would be so dumb! Ha ha ha ha ha! Oh. They’re all sold out. Asked, and answered. Psst... Elon Musk’s jet landed in San Jose, California last night. That isn’t something that you’d read on Twitter. In fact, there isn’t much news on Twitter anymore, as there aren’t so many journalists there anymore. Except Nazis. Nazi reporters retain their free speech. If Europe has a problem with that, well, what are they going to do about it? Elon got on Twitter Spaces to explain his thinking, until he found out that people were actually listening, so now Twitter Spaces is banned. Soon the only people left will be those who understand Musk's point of view. Here’s who to follow on Mastodon. The DC Bar recommends that Rudy Giuliani be disbarred, which is too bad for Rudy, as he could use a lawyer about now. A roster leaks that shows hundreds of Oath Keepers worked for the U.S. Department of Homeland Security. It’s hard to hire anyone to investigate the insurrection without stumbling over a member of the insurrectionist deep state. Gen X’s Susan Collins, Kyrsten Sinema, did not catalyze the bipartisan camaraderie hoped for. Most of the scenarios for Kevin McCarthy’s Speakership vote unfortunately include Kevin McCarthy. It looks as if the wingnuts had waited for the facts of the Paul Pelosi attack case, they would not have been able to post such hot takes. Next election, Maricopa County needs bigger printers.

Hello Americans, this is KITM. Stand by for NEWS!  Loudoun County Public Schools are closed today due to too slippery for Virginians conditions. Public Information Officer Wayde Byard is usually on hand to relay this information to the public but is under indictment for reading the wrong announcement about the wrong people at the wrong time, thus becoming the head on Glenn Youngkin’s pike. David Waldman and Greg Dworkin address the final lessons of the 2022 midterms. (There’ll probably be more.) Sure, Kyrsten Sinema is a conniving, opaque, untrustable self-centered show-boater, but she is Gen X, and Democrats need new blood. On the other hand, Hakeem Jeffries spent more time earning his position. Elon Musk sold $3.58 billion in Tesla stock today as Donald Trump launched a line of $99 trading cards of himself. Musk had previously invested in an internet service devoted to Dick pics sharing, therefore the Trump images could help boost his inventory. As the new god in the QAnon pantheon, Elon Musk need only think of voting Republican for it to happen. Covid vaccinations are a massive world-wide success, and antivaxxers continue to die from being antivax. So, let’s check in to see if they figured anything out yet… nope. Should we just let them die then? No, probably not. First, they came for stupid wackos, and I did not speak out, and all that. The whole point is not to be weaponized by bullies and fascists. Speaking of, more texts have been released in regards to Mark Meadows’ phone, which is not to be confused with any of Mark Meadows’ voter fraud. Who’d think that the Republican party would be such a criminal enterprise? House Republicans plan to revive the Holman Rule in their rules package, which won’t help them, but will hurt government, and they’re for that. Know where any good Washington, D.C., fishing holes are? A 21-year-old intelligence analyst was looking for one and stumbled upon people plotting to overthrow the government and execute members of Congress. The Federal Reserve continues to lower us gently onto the back of the recession trying not to wake it up. It’s kind of scary, but the result so far has been more buying power for Americans and real income growth. Meanwhile, one in six people in Britain are worried about running out of food and paying for heat.

David Waldman and Greg Dworkin bestride athwart the metaphoric battlements, on crénelé parapets betwixt embrasures and merlons, to bear their benevolence, your benefaction. Hark! Behold KITM. A day we must not forget, no matter how painful the memory. Republicans remain in disarray, torn between their traditional cynical nihilists, and the new wave of fanatical demagogues. The two things holding them together, hatred of democracy, and complete aversion to work, have had plenty of like-minded supporters in the past, but the latest data shows that the straight-R voter just might be dying out. Donald Trump keeps spinning, spinning around the drain. Another flush or two has got to do the trick. I’m no lawyer, but I don’t get how anyone could afford to be Trump’s.  The bird site needs someone to love them, so maybe Putin? Sorry Elon, Vlad’s love is not going to pay the electric bill. The Russians are moving over to Truth Social, where there’s low-hanging fruit to pick. Heavens to Heinrich! Germany’s far right Reichsbürger are just like our lost-cause dead-ender QAnon bumpkin shitkickers... except they don’t use rebel flags for curtains in their teeny tiny castles. TPM’s exclusive series, The Meadows Texts, is now exploring Team Trump’s attempts to overturn the 2020 vote in Georgia and reverse the vote in Arizona. The Department of Justice is getting in on the fun, attempting to access Scott Perry’s texts for their probe into 2020 election interference. Not everybody was selling insurrection leading up to January 6. In fact, some in the DHS were trying to sound the warning. AI finally benefits humankind, by taking on the scourge of Artificial Intelligence.

Heavens to Murgatroyd! David Waldman is smarter than the average podcast host, even! And that is why David focused today’s KITM on the bombshell series posted on Talking Points Memo, “The Meadows Texts” which reveal 34 members of Congress plotting to overturn the 2020 election. Thousands of seditious texts furiously typed out by dozens of illiterate elected representatives eager to toss out democracy.  Thousands of texts supporting insurrection and not one dick pic, as required by the first amendment, at least in MAGA editions of the Constitution, and Twitter’s new terms of service, as interpreted by its sole arbiter of morality and humor, Elon Musk. As of press time, newly appointed special counsel Jack Smith has not yet made us cry. Jack’s out there holding investigations and taking down names, including sending a grand jury subpoena to Georgia Secretary of State Brad Raffensperger. 

Feliz día de la Virgen de Guadalupe! David Waldman ain’t talking about Navidad, yet, not when we have KITMs for your stocking! Elon Musk attended a seminar on free speech with Dave Chappelle this weekend. Of course, neither one learned a thing. Steve KG Bannon collected photos of Hunter Biden’s genitalia with the expressed purpose of grooming wide-eyed innocents like Matt Taibbi and others to share associated Chinese disinformation and propaganda. At a Republican/Treason event in New York, Murdery Traitor Greene regretted that she and Steve didn’t think to tell January 6 insurrectionists to bring more guns. Oh well, woulda coulda shoulda. Marge also discovered that she could “pick up a butt plug or a dildo at Target nowadays” but thankfully didn't detail her specific technique. Greg Dworkin addresses the 10-year remembrance of Sandy Hook today in order to give its anniversary Wednesday the respectful silence it deserves.  There are cheerful polls to share. Latino voters in the Southwest are sticking with Democrats. Herschel Walker was such an awful candidate that not only did he lose where he was supposed to lose, he lost where he was supposed to win. Old, young, conservative, liberal and everyone in-between really are not into Kyrsten Sinema. Kari Lake strived to be the “Trump of 2022”, and frankly she aced it. Rudy Giuliani is certain Kari is only a lawsuit or two away from victory. 

David Waldman has waited this entire week to demand, “What’s the deal with this Murdery Traitor Greene person?” David and KITM listeners needed to wait a while longer while the spotlight was again stolen by expert attention burglar Kyrsten Sinema. Formally a Green Party member, then an independent, then a Democratic Party member, Sinema returns to being an independent… Although there is no one who believes Kyrsten was ever that awfully into being a Democrat in the first place. Now she’s just a more isolated weirdo. Marjorie Taylor Greene, on the other hand, was only a typical white suburban woman with perhaps a little too much money and time on her hands. Driven wacky on wellness and QAnon, Marge’s blonde ambition led her to be the idol to millions of comfortable bored people with too much power. Jared Kushner has more money, power, and whiteness than almost anybody on Earth. Two Democratic congressional committee chairs want records on Kushner’s family business, in suspicion that Jared maybe could have had undue influence on the Trump administration, somehow.

David Waldman and Greg Dworkin present KITM, now, at least today, 100% New York Times free.  WNBA star Brittney Griner has been freed from Russia in a 1-for-1 prisoner swap. Brittney is safe, on a plane, and on her way home. Biden isn’t Trump, therefore Brittney Griner isn’t Otto Warmbier. People pore over the numbers while the GQP counts their regrets following Raphael Warnock’s Senate win. One reason for Warnock’s win might have been the perceived lower quality of his opponent… Also, thanks to our kids, whom we’ve begged for years to please begin their homework earlier than the deadline day, coming through at the last, last minute. Values-based politics are winning politics for Democrats. Glenn Youngkin inches closer to pulling Virginia from their regional climate program. The Trump Supreme Court is using the Founding Fathers as human shields in Moore v. Harper, but are having a tougher time justifying anti-LGBTQ “messages” in 303 Creative v. Elenis. Meanwhile, the Respect for Marriage Act was actually legislated by legislators.  A restaurant in Richmond, Virginia, decided to protect its staff from gangs of anti-abortion and anti-LGBTQ Christian hooligans. A search team found a couple more top-secret documents in a Trump storage bin with his old swords. Donald Trump probably has a classified document stuck to the heel of his shoe at this very moment. Donald should check to see if Vlad has a guest room down at his new place in Argentina. Save some room for Paul Gosar. The Reichsbürger, or “Lost Cause” movement in Germany is lead by would-be Kaiser, Heinrich XIII Prince of Reuss. Who is he? More importantly, which is he?

David Waldman and Greg Dworkin bring us another Happy Wednesday KITM FunTime! Well, isn’t that nice? Raphael Warnock won election 5 times in a row, which in Georgia qualifies him for a 6-year term in the Senate. That means Herschel Walker and Donald Trump lose, a relief to everyone, probably especially Republicans. Perhaps not all Republicans. Kevin McCarthy kind of needed that win. Andy Biggs and others are running against McCarthy, not to win the speakership, but to see Kevin lose. For his part McCarthy is attempting to act as deranged as possible, but those lunatics are a notoriously fickle bunch. They are free to nominate anyone, so they could go with Lee Zeldin, Fred Upton or someone else better fitting to their personality and needs. Warnock's win is also sort of a Joe Manchin/Kyrsten Sinema loss, also a win.  Chuck Schumer knows how to celebrate.  Who's afraid of Donald Trump? Not Democratic governors. Meanwhile, Donald Trump says maybe he got coffee a few times for the Trump Organization, but did anyone also notice those are 17 guilty counts, and that Q is the 17th letter of the alphabet?  Special counsel Jack Smith keeps the ball rolling, sending grand jury subpoenas to Arizona, Michigan and Wisconsin.  A Republican candidate in Georgia believes the election in 2020 was stolen. You can see his point, as he has already voted illegally 9 times. The Trump Supreme Court doesn’t care about your opinion of them, they are too busy legislating from the bench. They won’t even let their own decisions slow them down. Republicans did not want medals given to Capitol police for their heroic actions on January 6 and yet showed up at the medal ceremony, where everyone was given due respect. Who would guess that Germany would have a problematic far-right? Reichsbürgers are like Confederate flag carrying, Q-following, sovereign citizens except they don’t speak American. Second Gentleman Doug Emhoff plans to utilize his newfound clout to speak out against rising antisemitism.

It’s your lucky day! It’s Tuesday! It’s also David Waldman and Joan McCarter day! Also, the Georgia Senate runoff runs out today, and that might mean we won't have Herschel Walker to kick around anymore. Of course, Republicans do have a soft place in their heart for candidates with soft heads, so there’s always a Walker or Madison Cawthorn comeback possible. If Raphael Warnock is successful, 51 votes will be nice. Members of the future 118th Congress are putting their wish lists together. A priority of Republicans will be to get as much Hunter Biden time on the books so that their base loves them again. Kevin McCarthy’s Joe Biden impeachment plans miss the point. Who wants to prove anything when insinuation gets enough attention? Meanwhile, McCarthy needs to kiss up to Democrats to avoid crashing the economy on the debt ceiling. In fact, Kevin is in a no-win situation attempting to lead a GQP who enjoy losing. The House would like to replace McCarthy but can't find anyone worse. Nancy Pelosi plans to give them all one more kick in the butt on her way out the door. Nancy’s sidekick Steny Hoyer, a House Democrat for 41 years, decided to step aside and make way for new generation. Marjorie Traitor Greene’s no idiot, but… No wait, she is an idiot. But Marge is an idiot with a big future in Republican politics. No… that’s probably not correct either. Anyhow, she hates Nick Fuentes, and Nick hates her, so that’s something. Greene is a super genius compared to Milo Yiannopoulos, who might have moved to Georgia to impress Marjorie into hiring him for no money, then ended up a little too wacky to be employed by Kanye West, so...Ye? Milo even out-trolled Donald Trump. Trump hated Kim Jong-un, then Trump loved Kim Jong-un. Kim must have found the key to Donald’s heart. Chris Christie's niece was kicked off an airliner following racist insults, then assaulted six police officers, and asked if they knew who she was. Chris wishes that he didn’t. The Trump Supreme Court cued up another pro-bigotry, anti-LGBTQ case and was so into it they spent hours longer than they had planned talking about it.

Following unsuccessful efforts to terminate the calendar, David Waldman admitted that today indeed is “Monday”, and took the rap for his household’s corn dog shortage. You can set your clock, and your calendar with Greg Dworkin’s raft o’ stories, though! Donald Trump’s two step plan to MAGAGA: First, terminate the Constitution. Second… well, that wouldn’t really matter then, would it? Republicans would have to go somewhere, after all. In Moore v. Harper the Supreme Court will decide if democracy is constitutional. Over the weekend, various hacks and loons once again attempted to swift boat Joe Biden with Hunter Biden’s penis. Again, they failed. They will continue to fail with no facts and only conspiracies, because it’s way too complicated and only their weirdos care enough to keep up. Trump was “explicitly sanctioning tax fraud” according to Manhattan prosecutors. While president, Trump explicitly committed tax fraud. 40,000 people went without power in North Carolina in what police describe as a criminal act of vandalism, and the FBI might eventually describe as terrorism. Tomorrow brings to a close the runoff election between Raphael Warnock and Herschel Walker. Incredibly, not only are there people voting for Herschel Walker, but enough are to keep him at a relatively close second place.

David Waldman catches us up on the latest Donald J. Trump courtroom drama, and there’s a lot of it as Donald is an inveterate, ubiquitous and incompetent criminal. Where else can you catch such nuanced analysis backed by an uncanny vocal portrayal of Trump in a Trump mask robbing a bank? The 11 Circuit rules that no special master is needed for Trump’s stolen document case, and generally there isn’t much need for Judge Aileen Cannon, period. Donald isn’t special enough to change the law.  Ok, we have access to six years of Trump’s taxes, now what? David enumerates the powers and duties of the Congressional Joint Committee on Taxation. Cochise County, Arizona finally certified its election results. Kari Lake’s lawyers got sanctioned. Trump White House lawyers Pat Cipollone and Patrick Philbin are being ordered to testify on the investigation of Trump’s coup attempt. A woman has come forward using her real name to make the first on-record claims of domestic violence against Herschel Walker. Herschel reminds us that Ivanka and Don Jr got their smarts from him. Barack Obama backs him up on this. Matt Gaetz loses his wingman Joel Greenberg, sentenced to 11 Years in prison for sex trafficking. Yep, they shared a lot of good times, a lot of memories. Nothing takes the fun out of insurrection more than jail time. A former elections manager flips in a plea deal and will now testify against her boss, Tina Peters. Some of you reading this might be old enough to recall we had a President named “W”, a laid-back folksy sort who liked clearing brush and killing Iraqis. At least he didn’t seem to let it bother him in any way.

David Waldman and Greg Dworkin ring in the new month on today’s Holiday KITM. In Georgia, Raphael Warnock is way ahead of Herschel Walker in early voters polled. Republicans holding off until they see some good Walker news might need to wait a while longer. In fact, the Lieutenant Governor of Georgia waited an hour to vote and just couldn’t bring himself to do it. Even Herschel has found it tough showing up, preferring to stay at home.  The Supreme Court paved the way for the Dem-led House Ways and Means Committee to finally get Trump’s tax records. People might be forgetting how awful the Supreme Court is, but should be reminded again soon. The leaders of Finland and New Zealand meet, and the press imagines montages from “Sex in the City”. British citizen and Executive Director Ngozi Fulani was asked by the Queen’s former Lady in Waiting, repeatedly, “No, where are you really from?” Republicans wonder if Trump’s anti-Semite supper club scandal might be the best time to go Caesar on Donald. Kanye loves Hitler even more than Alex Jones does. Kari Lake and Steve KG Bannon do really get each other. The Right have felt like victims for so long, they haven’t really noticed being killed en masse by Covid. Remember, every Republican accusation is a confession. Convicted seditionist Stewart Rhodes’ son describes how he avoided being radicalized by his dad. A lot of US children will not escape the same fate, however. President Joe Biden pulled the switch on that railroad strike in just the nick of time. Railroad workers haven’t gotten all that they want or need because their bosses see them as expenses rather than assets. The price of gas is dropping and is lower than before Russia invaded Ukraine. The US layoff rate is still close to record low. That spike back there didn’t lead to a recession. Always follow the GDP over inflation.

Twitter has lost 50 of its top 100 advertisers since Elon Musk took over. David Waldman and Greg Dworkin are still working out the kinks in their Mastodon experience, which doesn’t need either advertising or fascist trolls to keep running. What keeps Mastodon working? Techno-magic, I figure. Equally hard to fathom is how Sam Bankman-Fried screwed thousands of people out of millions of dollars. That is, until you factor greed and stupidity into your calculations, then it becomes a little easier to explain. Trump is handing white supremacists huge propaganda victories. Actually, Milo Yiannopoulos says white supremacists are taking those huge propaganda victories from Trump. Either way, the Republican party is feeling a lot of Madison Cawthorn vibes around Donald lately and have been keeping their knives sharp just in case for years. Of course, Trump’s white supremacists bother the GQP as much as Madison’s bra did, which is not at all until their polling is threatened. Hakeem Jeffries has been elected as the first Black leader to the House in history. In fact, Democratic House leadership won’t include any White men at all. Meanwhile, Mike Lindell is running against Ronna Romney McDaniel for chair of the Republican Party. It turns out passionate anti-grooming candidate Patricia Kent was well known for being a… You know the rest. Voters are turning out in Georgia, with a single day record in early voting yesterday. Who knows who they are voting for, but even Herschel Walker knows that doesn't sound good for him. Pennsylvania’s Luzerne County is getting ready to vote on certifying their results from the 2022 midterm election. Cochise County in Arizona made a name for themselves by being the last holdouts. A poll worker has been charged with violating election law after stealing data. He doesn’t get why they’d pick on him, as he’s a Republican. Oath Keepers have been found guilty, guilty, guilty of seditious conspiracy. There are plenty more still on the loose, though. Black women are being shot and killed at three times the rate they were in 2010. Joe Biden has always been confident that a solution could be found to the first major rail strike in decades, and it looks as if he was correct. Too bad the solution isn’t too good.

David Waldman and Greg Dworkin resolutely lead us ever forward, as KITM tracks the unrelenting migration of social media, just as our ancient hunter forbearers pursued vast herds of mastodons across the great plains.  How about those midterms, huh? The media and pollsters are still trying to figure out what they did right, which wasn’t a ton. The Democratic party shouldn’t pat themselves on the back too hard either. Voters figured out on their own what they needed to do and did it, mostly young voters. Everyone agrees, Donald Trump lost that election, like he always loses, and always will lose… Ok, some in the GQP haven’t got the memo yet. The Warnock-Walker race might clue in some of the slow ones. Then there’s Kari Lake, and her lost cause diehards in Arizona. Maybe it was the printers, except for how it can’t possibly be the printers. Trump orders Navy gunships into Phoenix. Think these dopes didn’t get anywhere in the midterms? Think again. Republicans will have it rough with a slim majority, although it’d be even nicer if they had a fat minority. Bill Kristol is always wrong, but if anyone is still listening, he’d prefer House Speaker Barbara Comstock. Up in Alaska, they’re trying out a bipartisan Democratic majority, thanks to fish supporters. Meanwhile, Donald Trump had dinner with an antisemite (Did Donald mention he was black?) who brought his plus one, a Holocaust denier. Who could have known?

For National Leftovers Day, we present this vintage post-T-Day episode, from November 27, 2020. We had planned to bring you last year's post-Thanksgiving show, but that one was taken down by YouTube, because we read a story that quoted and debunked COVID loons, and, well, YouTube. (The episode was later restored on appeal of an appeal, but the odds were pretty good that they'd take it down all over again.) So, instead, we have one from the year before! David Waldman and Armando delivered a then-piping fresh KITM right to your ears. Don’t bother to get off the couch, just finish off that can of cranberry sauce and tub of Cool Whip, and tune in! Diaper Don sat behind his widdle desk yesterday and had only widdle things to say. Hell yes, Donald Trump is “stepping down” for Joe Biden, of course, he’s not coming to the inauguration.  We’ve had Trump’s number for some time now. He’ll continue to destroy the country of course, but that’s barely been a side interest for him. Real despotism is a lot of work. Pardoning people takes so little effort that he can work a couple in between holes. The Right loves dead liberals. That’s because people actually respect dead liberals, plus you can have them say whatever you want. Almost as good, are fake ex-liberals, because you know they’re going where the grift is deepest and won’t get tripped up by any sticky ideology. Things will be fine, if you only remember to not give your money to them. A guy dropped $2.5 million on True the Vote Inc., which bought him “vague responses, platitudes, and empty promises” — exactly what he payed for. Hopefully, none of you paid for a Kraken, because the delivery date keeps getting pushed back, and release might not be so imminent.

Happy Thanksgiving! It’s a good day to give thanks for Justice Putnam, who keeps the gears turning at Netroots Radio! He gives us the flexibility to throw together a last-minute show, and maybe even knock off early for the holiday. Which we didn’t! One you get rolling on a show like this, you need every minute you can get! First up, Pro-Fish Mary Peltola is coming back to Washington. Which means Sarah Palin isn’t! On the darker side, wingnut idiots are saying terrible things about the Club Q shooting. Trumpster Dummy Jenna Ellis is pretty sure all the victims are going to hell, for starters. Which might be where the Trumpster Dummy who fathered the shooter is headed, by the way. Reality is no barrier for Trumpster Dummies in Arizona, where Kari Lake is ramping up veiled threats in her bid to deny her loss. Rank-and-file denialists are ranting incoherently at county board hearings, and advancing the same old debunked conspiracy theories over and over again, in an endless loop. The courtroom news isn’t getting any better for TFG. In the NY AG’s case, in a move widely interpreted as a sign of confidence, the prosecution rests earlier than expected. Elsewhere, it seems Mike Pence is making ready to testify for the DOJ. For T-Day reading: Twitter’s former head of “Trust & Safety” has some warnings about just how bad things could get at the bird site.

David Waldman leads us off today under an other another cloud of a mass shooting. This time, six were killed in a Chesapeake, Virginia, Walmart. Probably a disgruntled employee did the shooting, but we all know who’s pulling the trigger. Lauren Boebert and others pray over the bodies they target, then target the rescuers.  As threats to LGBTQ communities intensify, they in turn react to the reactionaries. Want to watch Twitter crash and burn, but from a safe distance? Alternatives are out there, but you might want to spend time getting used to them. Keep your old account, no need to burn your bridges… although loosening a strut bolt here or there is A-OK. David delves into the latest on the FPOTUS Mar-a-Lago case and ends up as skeptical as the judges. Donald just wants his Celine Dion pictures back. Marjorie Traitor Greene squeals "Holman Rule. Look it up!", but apparently hasn’t got around to it herself. Matt Gaetz just hates conflicts of interest. Meanwhile, the Supreme Court allows the release of Trump's tax returns, almost probably too late, but convincing Donald of the need for an 18-member court. Fugitive Guo Wengui, who once let convict Steve KG Bannon hole up on his yacht, claims to be a billionaire and claims to be worth around 3 grand. Herschel Walker reminds us that his erection is still coming up. Lindsey Graham immediately drops to the floor to help him out. Republicans who say there’s no voter suppression, because they see voters, suddenly feel suppressed in Arizona. Cochise County feels it so bad that they quit counting votes. Now, the new Democratic Governor-Elect Katie Hobbs is going around punching Republicans in the face!

David Waldman and special Tuesday guest star Greg Dworkin run the gamut from Elon Musk to Richard Fierro on today’s KITM. Poor little rich boy Elon Musk only wanted to buy love and respect, but fate can be so cruel sometimes to self-centered megalomaniacs… Here are 3 other investments the billionaire likes! Elon continues to have a kind of a “Love/Fire” relationship with his employees. One day you can tell your kids of the time that catturd2 place helped fight the COVID 19 pandemic. Several octaves away is the hero in the Club Q shooting rampage, army veteran Richard Fierro, good guy without a gun who transformed the bad guy with a gun into a bad guy possibly regretting his life choices, by getting back in touch with his killer instincts. Darwin H.M., the most reasonable man in America, and KITM Senior Military Correspondent, reports!  Republicans wish we wouldn’t politicize these shootings so much. At least not as much as they’ve politicized the existence of LGBTQ people. The right has goaded LGBTQ bigotry and hatred for years to provoke and inspire terrorism. In Colorado Springs, local officials resisted the state’s Red Flag Law to create a “Second Amendment sanctuary”. The shooter was able to buy a gun even after a 2021 bomb threat arrest. The midterm elections won’t end! The crucial runoff election between Raphael Warnock and Herschell Walker is fast approaching, even as Republicans attempt to push it away. It is looking good... but you know about polls by now, don’t you? Old white guys are set to screw it up as usual.