In this special bonus episode of the Parenting Junkie Show, I interview Tosha Schore, whose mission is to create a more peaceful world one sweet boy at a time. Tosha helps parents who have young boys who are struggling with aggression issues, helping change their behavior without using punishment or harshness.  This episode will be helpful even if you don’t have boys. You no doubt have boys in your life in some way (nephews, friends of your kids, etc.) and you’ll learn about what we need to change regarding the way we treat boys in our culture.   [3:46] We have an opportunity to bring more peace to the world by changing how we parent/treat boys. [11:12] Men often tamp down their boy's feelings to help them avoid the shame they experienced as a child. [13:08] The way to “fix it” is not by shaming parents or the boys. [15:32] Parents get scared; men don’t want their boys to be shamed like they were, and women are often triggered by past trauma.  [16:03] First we have to heal ourselves and work on our own triggers. [17:18] We often believe a fallacy that if they behave “properly,” then they get our love and affection. We need to flip that around.  [22:23] Move in close and try to be playful about it. [23:39] It's not about teaching them what’s ok and what’s not...they know.  [27:46] Kids often will say or do things that are contrary to what they really want or need. [30:34] Your body/physical touch is a parenting tool. [31:55] Setting limits is extremely important for the well-being of you and your family. [33:52] Limits will shine a light on the area(s) your kid's struggle with. [37:17] Limits can (and should) be set with love.  [38:25] We often subconsciously expect kids to love the limits we set...but they won’t. You have to get comfortable with the fact that they won’t like it.  [40:33] Why do we do things that don’t work over and over, expecting them to suddenly start working?  [42:53] Being playful and silly is a great way to diffuse tense situations. [43:28] Once a child feels seen and connected, he wants to cooperate. [44:57] If you're uncomfortable with aggressive play, step outside your comfort zone and experiment with allowing it. [51:56] What about aggressive video games? [53:09] Do what’s best for you and your family (even if “all their friends” play a certain game and you feel uncomfortable with it).  [55:04] Be interested in what your kids are interested in and learn about the games they’re playing. [55:28] Tech should stay in a family space (i.e. not in a bedroom).  [56:01] If something interferes with their wellbeing, you may need to set limits around that activity. And experiment with limits and adjust as necessary.  [58:50] Behavior doesn't equal identity. If we consistently step toward our boys when they act up and focus on building connection, we’ll start to see the aggressive behaviors “peel off” (like layers of an onion). Remember, your sweet boy is in there regardless of current behavior If you enjoyed this episode and it inspired you in some way, I’d love to hear about your biggest takeaway. Take a selfie of you listening or a screenshot of the show, post it to instagram stories, and tag me @parentingjunkie or feel free to DM me on instagram, I try to reply to as many as I can!Are you subscribed to my podcast? Subscribe here so that fresh episodes are delivered directly to you. Those shiny 5-star ratings and sweet reviews have me all gushy, thank you. But more importantly, they help other parents discover the Parenting Junkie Show and spread the word about Loving parenting and Parenting from Love. If you have a moment to spare, those reviews mean the world to me, you can leave one here.  Want to connect to like-minded parenting junkies? Join our (free & awesome) FB community Love Parenting with Avital. Links & Resources Mentioned: Tosha’s book Listen: Five Simple Tools to Meet Your Everyday Parenting Challenges Tosha’s website Tosha’s Facebook Page Tosha’s course “Out With Aggression” Show Notes: https://www.theparentingjunkie.com/podcast_type/tosha-schore  

Do you struggle with feeling like you’re not good enough, or that you don’t measure up? There are so many different parenting philosophies out there: Attachment, RIE, simplicity, unconditional, Montessori, Waldorf, Reggio, gentle, respectful, conscious, peaceful…but which one is right for you?   Join me as I dive into this topic and reveal my parenting philosophy.   The problem: Every book, expert, & philosophy seems to contradict the others. It can make you feel like you don’t measure up when you can’t or don’t 100% follow a particular philosophy. Some of these groups can be so judgmental and unsupportive when you don’t fully stick to their philosophy. There’s so much out there and it’s hard to decide what will work for you. The solution (and my philosophy): Love parenting and parent from love. Love Parenting Parenting should be enjoyable. We should feel good about the way that we parent. No one benefits from you being a martyr (including your children). Not that it’s always easy. There are definitely hard times in parenting. But overall, you should not parent in a way that feels like constant suffering & misery. Design a life that you love. You could go through your entire life…many people have and are currently doing so…not enjoying life. Keep your cup full and spill out onto others. What would make parenting fun for you? Minimize/reduce/outsource as many of the negative things as possible. Parent from Love When you’re truly motivated from a place of love & care, you’ll find the right words & actions (vs. operating out of fear or anger). Holding your goodness to light. Self-compassion. Do things that are kind. Trust your intuition. Break down old paradigms. Keep it flexible enough and use as a clear guideline. It liberates you from attachment parenting or from mainstream parenting. PERMISSION to LOVE parenting, permission to parent from LOVE.   Links & Resources: Show notes at TheParentingJunkie.com/00 TheParentingJunkie.com/review TheParentingJunkie.com/partners TheParentingJunkie.com/loveparenting (FB Group)