In our last episode, we talked about why it can be hard to receive good things. Today, we are discussing the importance of actively adding good things to our lives.  It can be easy to focus on all of the problems, challenges, and hardships we are facing, and to assume that if we could just remove those, then we could experience a greater sense of wellbeing. And while there are certainly times to focus on removal of things that are hurting us, there is also great power in pouring our attention into adding goodness: adding more fruits and vegetables onto our plate, adding more visits with friends, adding encouraging thoughts into our inner dialogue. And sometimes, we find that the more good things we add, the easier it is for old painful habits to fall away.  This can, of course, bring up feelings of “easier said than done.” In today’s episode, we discuss how to work with some of the obstacles to adding good things, from self-judgment to low motivation.  References: Recent Gathering Gold episodes: "Summer Solstice" and "Why it’s Hard to Receive Good Things" Pema Chödrön, “No big deal” Rob Bell’s podcast  Acceptance and Commitment Therapy The Many Lives of Mama Love, by Lara Love Hardin Sheryl’s book, The Wisdom of Anxiety Carl Rogers’ teaching on unconditional positive regard

Today’s episode was inspired by a recent post that Sheryl shared on Instagram about trauma collisions in longterm relationships. In this conversation, we explore what trauma collisions are (and are not), how they differ from arguments, and how we can become more mindful and skillful in responding to them.  Sheryl underscores the role of self-awareness in uncovering the understory of a trauma collision, finding compassion for ourselves and our partners, and creating new, healthier patterns.  We discuss demon dances, childhood wounds, and the core human longing for both separateness and intimacy. References: Sheryl’s IG post about trauma collisions Love and Awakening, John Welwood Essay “Intimate Relationship as Transformative Path” by John Welwood A Little Book on the Human Shadow, Robert Bly Emotionally-Focused Therapy (EFT) Attachment theory Hold Me Tight, Sue Johnson Sue Johnson’s workbooks and video series Rilke quote about those in marriage being "the guardian of the other's solitude.”

In this special episode, Sheryl's husband Daev Finn joins the show to continue our seasonal exploration of wintry themes. A psychotherapist who uses the metaphor of myth and fairy tales in his work, Daev offers his perspective on the Brothers Grimm telling of "Briar Rose" (otherwise known as "Sleeping Beauty"). Daev, Sheryl, and Victoria read the tale aloud, then share their reflections on themes of slumber, sexuality, growing up, and banishment. Daev offers perspective on the history of myths and fairytales and their problematic parts, Sheryl reflects on the treatment of powerful women in patriarchal narratives, and Victoria muses on how this tale cautions us to rethink banishing our inner "thirteenth fairy." Find Daev on Instagram @followyourmyth References: "Briar Rose" text Disney film Maleficent (2014) The myths of Psyche, Persephone, and Perceval  The entitled prince vs. positive prince role models: Aladdin, Luke Skywalker, Kristoff from Frozen (2013) French author Charles Perrault Moana (2016) The story of the Buddha  Protagonists with self-agency: "Hansel and Gretel", Dorothy in The Wizard of Oz, Alice in Alice in Wonderland, Harry Potter A non-binary hero(ine) in literature: Orlando, by Virginia Woolf Modern myth-makers Neil Gaiman, Joseph Campbell, and George Lucas Music in this episode: Gathering Gold theme music by Jarrett Farkas "Glacier" by SalmonLikeTheFish

We are approaching the shortest day and longest night of the year in the Northern hemisphere. In preparation for the winter solstice, Sheryl invites us to anchor ourselves in time and find communion with the luminous dark. How might we celebrate the triumph of light, the gift of the sun, while also welcoming the wisdom of darkness? How might we balance the need to rest and turn inward with the need to brave the cold, to go out into the world? How can we cultivate peace within ourselves in the face of all that is treacherous in this world—including the double-edged winter months, with their shimmer and ice, their harshness and beauty? This is what we invite you to explore with us in today’s episode, and at our upcoming Patreon Meet-Up on December 21st.  References: Gathering Gold Patreon (sign up for the Meet-Up Member tier to join our virtual meet-ups) Darkness and Light episode Winter’s Paradox episode  Francis Weller Effort and Ease episode