In this episode, Robert speaks with leadership coach Tripp Lanier to look at the quagmire of self-development -- particularly in leadership and “men’s work.” Between the space of forfeiting a sense of identity and needs and desires lies a balance where men get to be vulnerable and still sovereign. Can men walk this line with the proper intentions and a will to enjoy life at every turn? We explore all the challenges and blessings of self development. (Warning: this episode has some vulgar language) Some of the topics we explore: - Our most common excuses to avoid taking risks - Laughing at our fears and shortcomings - How to have the courage to share appreciation or constructive feedback - What would you do if you could do whatever you wanted without consequences? - Our inevitable mortality Show Notes: 1:06 - Introducing Tripp 2:15 - The New Man Podcast 3:13 - Not only chasing spiritual development, looking for lasting change 5:25 - Anything can be turned into an escape 7:04 - Is fear good? Is fear used as an excuse for escape? 8:13 - Do I have to believe every fear I have? 8:36 - We’re trying hard to avoid our human experience 9:31 - Discernment around fear 11:08 - Chesterton’s Fence— do we jump over or respect the fence? 14:15 - The destructive impulse of the postmodern age 15:16 - The nuance of relationship 17:42 - Nice Guy Syndrome 18:35 - Posturing and collapsing 20:20 - Leading vs. waiting 21:11 - The fear of death 21:32 - When fear becomes noise 23:25 - These phantoms in our minds are gargoyles on the threshold 25:10 - Relief vs. peace of mind 27:17 - Saying “no” to one thing is really saying “yes” to what’s more in alignment 28:28 - Adding things vs. removing things 30:17 - Emotions as a doorway to information 30:57 - Freedom, aliveness, love, and peace 34:24 - The exoneration mindset 37:50 - Story from Invisibilia on oil rig workers 38:54 - The identity piece 43:07 - Moving the fear dial as a form of strength 49:00 - Fun as currency 51:05 - The antidote to fear is being bold