Welcome to Cinephobe: The Podcast where Zach Harper, Amin Elhassan and Anthony Mayes review movies that are poorly rated on Rotten Tomatoes, and try to ascertain whether or not those movies are accurately poorly rated, or maybe just didn’t get a fair shake. Cinephobe! Wherever you get Podcasts!
Cinephobe Ep 241: Volcano
Zach, Amin and Mayes are double dipping on 1997 Volcano movies as lava flows out of the La Brea Tar Pits and Tommy Lee Jones is given the power to command and control all the resources of Los Angeles.
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Anthony Mayes @cornpuzzle IG: @cornpuzzle Threads: @cornpuzzle
Email: [email protected]
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10/24/2024 • 2 hours, 27 minutes, 59 seconds
Cinephobe Ep 240: Dante's Peak - Part 2 (with Mike Ryan)
Zach, Amin, Mayes and Mike are putting the pod on alert!
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Anthony Mayes @cornpuzzle IG: @cornpuzzle Threads: @cornpuzzle
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10/17/2024 • 1 hour, 37 minutes, 51 seconds
Top 5 Worst Villains
Zach, Amin and Mayes are putting together a team, a team of villains and antagonists that are the worst at what they do.
They are annoying, display misguided business practices and find themselves outwitted and overmatched by heroes that they should wipe the floor with.
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CTD @countthedings IG: @cinephobepod Threads: @cinephobepod
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Anthony Mayes @cornpuzzle IG: @cornpuzzle Threads: @cornpuzzle
Email: [email protected]
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10/14/2024 • 1 hour, 14 minutes, 44 seconds
Cinephobe Ep 240: Dante's Peak - Part 1 (with Mike Ryan)
Zach, Amin, Mayes and Mike recommend you put the pod on alert.
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Anthony Mayes @cornpuzzle IG: @cornpuzzle Threads: @cornpuzzle
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10/10/2024 • 1 hour, 41 minutes, 28 seconds
Cinephobe Unlocked: Delta Farce
Zach Amin and Mayes are deployed to Fallujah but end up in Mexico for this memorial day episode unlocked from the Patreon.
Grab some tacos and cervezas, shove your arm into a cannon and pick out your favorite karaoke song... it's time to GIT R DONE.
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Anthony Mayes @cornpuzzle IG: @cornpuzzle Threads: @cornpuzzle
Email: [email protected]
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10/3/2024 • 1 hour, 39 minutes, 27 seconds
Top 5 Dream Tony Medleys
In the second ever episode of Cinephobe (Next), Zach, Amin and Mayes discovered the Mensa member and extremely opinionated author slash movie critic H. Anthony Medley.
Unfortunately, despite reviewing hundreds of films since 2002, there are plenty of movies we've done that Tony has not reviewed.
In this CT5, we compile the movies that we wish Tony had seen and reviewed, speculating on what we think we would have said and which films would have inspired classic scrutiny from our Toluca Lake Legend.
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Anthony Mayes @cornpuzzle IG: @cornpuzzle Threads: @cornpuzzle
Email: [email protected]
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9/30/2024 • 1 hour, 7 minutes, 52 seconds
Cinephobe Ep 239: Double Team
Zach, Amin and Mayes don't play with the bad boys anymore as they track down that scallywag Stavros in their iridium lensed Oakley shades.
Offense gets the glory - But defense wins the game!
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Anthony Mayes @cornpuzzle IG: @cornpuzzle Threads: @cornpuzzle
Email: [email protected]
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9/26/2024 • 2 hours, 20 minutes, 36 seconds
Cinephobe Ep 238: Jack Reacher: Never Go Back
Zach, Amin and Mayes are a couple of unhoused ex-podcasters who love nothing more than hitchhiking across the country from seedy motel to seedy motel.
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Anthony Mayes @cornpuzzle IG: @cornpuzzle Threads: @cornpuzzle
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9/19/2024 • 2 hours, 16 minutes, 20 seconds
Top 5 Eurotrip Episodes
Zach, Amin and Mayes make a playlist of the best Cinephobe episodes to listen to while you're traveling across Europe.
In fact, Zach might be listening to one of these episodes right this instant, as he travels across Europe.
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Anthony Mayes @cornpuzzle IG: @cornpuzzle Threads: @cornpuzzle
Email: [email protected]
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9/16/2024 • 1 hour, 11 minutes, 6 seconds
Cinephobe Ep 237: X-Men Origins: Wolverine
Zach, Amin and Mayes are bonding adamantium to their skeletons to withstand the onslaught of Weapon Xposition in this movie.
In order to make this podcast indestructible, first we're going to have to do destroy it.
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9/12/2024 • 2 hours, 20 minutes, 40 seconds
Cinephobe Mailbag: Now You Three Me
Amin and Mayes answer listener questions live on YouTube.
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Anthony Mayes @cornpuzzle IG: @cornpuzzle Threads: @cornpuzzle
Email: [email protected]
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9/9/2024 • 1 hour, 45 minutes, 31 seconds
Cinephobe Ep 236: The Karate Kid Part III
Zach, Amin and Mayes are putting all their plutonium deals aside to concentrate on opening a chain of Cobra Kai dojos all over the valley.
For the next few weeks, our business is strictly revenge.
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CTD @countthedings IG: @cinephobepod Threads: @cinephobepod
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Anthony Mayes @cornpuzzle IG: @cornpuzzle Threads: @cornpuzzle
Email: [email protected]
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9/5/2024 • 2 hours, 31 minutes, 33 seconds
Top 5 Sean Astins - Part 2
Much like Sean Astin himself, Zach, Amin and Mayes bit off more than they could chew with their first CT5.
So now they are back to dig up seven more of their most unbelievable moments in Cinephobe history, the elements of the plot that took it too far, shattering any suspended disbelief that might have existed.
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Anthony Mayes @cornpuzzle IG: @cornpuzzle Threads: @cornpuzzle
Email: [email protected]
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9/2/2024 • 1 hour, 4 minutes, 25 seconds
Cinephobe Ep 235: Dirty Work
Zach, Amin and Mayes are inventing the 'Revenge For Hire' business to save their impotent, whore mongering father with a heart transplant from a degenerate gambling doctor.
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Anthony Mayes @cornpuzzle IG: @cornpuzzle Threads: @cornpuzzle
Email: [email protected]
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8/29/2024 • 2 hours, 7 minutes, 22 seconds
Cinephobe Ep 234: The Pest
Zach, Amin and Mayes are the most ridicalickaliss schemingest keenest scam artists being hunteded by Germans on a private island for fifty thousand dollars.
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CTD @countthedings IG: @cinephobepod Threads: @cinephobepod
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Anthony Mayes @cornpuzzle IG: @cornpuzzle Threads: @cornpuzzle
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8/22/2024 • 2 hours, 17 minutes, 5 seconds
Top 5 Disrespectful Heroes
Zach, Amin and Mayes try to determine what makes a character heroic while also exhibiting clear signs of contempt and disdain for decorum.
They might do good things, but they do them the wrong way.
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Anthony Mayes @cornpuzzle IG: @cornpuzzle Threads: @cornpuzzle
Email: [email protected]
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8/19/2024 • 1 hour, 10 minutes, 47 seconds
Cinephobe Ep 233: Lionheart
Zach, Amin and Mayes are at the forefront of the burgeoning underground fight club scene, reaping the benefits of the upper class' thirst for blood in order to provide for their poverty stricken sister in law.
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Cinephobe is now on Youtube! Subscribe and check out CT5s on Video.
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CTD @countthedings IG: @cinephobepod Threads: @cinephobepod
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Anthony Mayes @cornpuzzle IG: @cornpuzzle Threads: @cornpuzzle
Email: [email protected]
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8/15/2024 • 2 hours, 1 minute, 58 seconds
Cinephobe Ep 232: Law Abiding Citizen - Part 2 (with Nery Saenz)
Zach, Amin, Mayes and Nery are all held accountable for the conclusion of this podcast.
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CTD @countthedings IG: @cinephobepod Threads: @cinephobepod
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Anthony Mayes @cornpuzzle IG: @cornpuzzle Threads: @cornpuzzle
Email: [email protected]
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8/8/2024 • 1 hour, 36 minutes, 49 seconds
Top 5 Respectful Villains
Zach, Amin and Mayes choose the villains and antagonists of Cinephobe that carry themselves a little different. They might do bad things, but they do them the right way.
This topic was a fresh idea out of the chat during the A Million Ways to Die in the West Rewatchington, due to Clinch Leatherwood's comportment.
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Join the Count The Dings Patreon for exclusive Rewatchingtons, Ad-Free Episodes, extended cold opens and more at www.patreon.com/CountTheDings
Cinephobe is now on Youtube! Subscribe and check out CT5s on Video.
Subscribe to Cinephobe! Then Rate 5 Stars on Apple or Spotify.
Follow Cinephobe on Twitter, Instagram & Threads:
CTD @countthedings IG: @cinephobepod Threads: @cinephobepod
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Amin Elhassan @darthamin IG: @darthamin Threads: @darthamin
Anthony Mayes @cornpuzzle IG: @cornpuzzle Threads: @cornpuzzle
Email: [email protected]
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8/5/2024 • 1 hour, 40 minutes, 7 seconds
Cinephobe Ep 232: Law Abiding Citizen - Part 1
Zach, Amin and Mayes take justice into their own hands when the assembly line legal system fails them.
BRAND NEW CINEPHOBE MERCH - Check it out here: https://bit.ly/CTDMERCH
Join the Count The Dings Patreon for exclusive Rewatchingtons, Ad-Free Episodes, extended cold opens and more at www.patreon.com/CountTheDings
Cinephobe is now on Youtube! Subscribe and check out CT5s on Video.
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Follow Cinephobe on Twitter, Instagram & Threads:
CTD @countthedings IG: @cinephobepod Threads: @cinephobepod
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Amin Elhassan @darthamin IG: @darthamin Threads: @darthamin
Anthony Mayes @cornpuzzle IG: @cornpuzzle Threads: @cornpuzzle
Email: [email protected]
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8/1/2024 • 1 hour, 40 minutes, 20 seconds
Cinephobe Ep 231: Mike and Dave Need Wedding Dates
Zach, Amin and Mayes are headed to Hawaii for a wedding, but not before they create the world's greatest Craigslist post looking for nice girls to accompany them and appease their family.
BRAND NEW CINEPHOBE MERCH - Check it out here: https://bit.ly/CTDMERCH
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Cinephobe is now on Youtube! Subscribe and check out CT5s on Video.
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Follow Cinephobe on Twitter, Instagram & Threads:
CTD @countthedings IG: @cinephobepod Threads: @cinephobepod
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Anthony Mayes @cornpuzzle IG: @cornpuzzle Threads: @cornpuzzle
Email: [email protected]
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7/25/2024 • 2 hours, 17 minutes, 1 second
Top 5 Sean Astins
Who could have predicted before the Encino Man episode that Sean Astin would become ubiquitous in Cinephobe lore? And not for shouting 'My wife is a bingo!' at a Blockbuster.
Zach, Amin and Mayes dig up their most unbelievable moments in Cinephobe history, the elements of the plot that took it too far, shattering any suspended disbelief that might have existed.
BRAND NEW CINEPHOBE MERCH - Check it out here: https://bit.ly/CTDMERCH
Join the Count The Dings Patreon for exclusive Rewatchingtons, Ad-Free Episodes, extended cold opens and more at www.patreon.com/CountTheDings
Cinephobe is now on Youtube! Subscribe and check out CT5s on Video.
Subscribe to Cinephobe! Then Rate 5 Stars on Apple or Spotify.
Follow Cinephobe on Twitter, Instagram & Threads:
CTD @countthedings IG: @cinephobepod Threads: @cinephobepod
Zach Harper @talkhoops IG: @talkhoops Threads: @talkhoops
Amin Elhassan @darthamin IG: @darthamin Threads: @darthamin
Anthony Mayes @cornpuzzle IG: @cornpuzzle Threads: @cornpuzzle
Email: [email protected]
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7/22/2024 • 1 hour, 20 minutes, 13 seconds
Cinephobe Ep 230: Masters of the Universe
Zach, Amin and Mayes have the power to be supreme, the power to be almighty, the power to use a Cosmic Key and travel across the galaxy in the blink of .34 chromons.
BRAND NEW CINEPHOBE MERCH - Check it out here: https://bit.ly/CTDMERCH
Join the Count The Dings Patreon for exclusive Rewatchingtons, Ad-Free Episodes, extended cold opens and more at www.patreon.com/CountTheDings
Cinephobe is now on Youtube! Subscribe and check out CT5s on Video.
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Follow Cinephobe on Twitter, Instagram & Threads:
CTD @countthedings IG: @cinephobepod Threads: @cinephobepod
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Anthony Mayes @cornpuzzle IG: @cornpuzzle Threads: @cornpuzzle
Email: [email protected]
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7/18/2024 • 2 hours, 14 minutes, 54 seconds
Cinephobe Unlocked: Space Jam: A New Legacy
Zach, Amin and Mayes get uploaded into the serververse to take on Al-G Rhythm and his goon squad as a classic tale is rebooted for the video game generation. Will we be stuck as Warner Brothers properties forever? Will LeBron connect with Bryce about something other than basketball? Do any kids even know who the Looney Tunes are? Do you, as long as doing you means listening to this podcast.
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Anthony Mayes @cornpuzzle IG: @cornpuzzle Threads: @cornpuzzle
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7/11/2024 • 2 hours, 3 minutes, 27 seconds
Top 5 Resumés
Zach, Amin and Mayes review the applications and cover letters for the repeat offenders in the Cinephobe Universe who have compiled the most impressive bodies of work.
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Join the Count The Dings Patreon for exclusive Rewatchingtons, Ad-Free Episodes, extended cold opens and more at www.patreon.com/CountTheDings
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CTD @countthedings IG: @cinephobepod Threads: @cinephobepod
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7/8/2024 • 1 hour, 10 minutes, 10 seconds
Cinephobe Ep 229: Madame Web
Zach, Amin and Mayes can see better than they ever have thanks to this refreshing, delicious, ice cold Pepsi Cola.
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7/4/2024 • 2 hours, 31 minutes, 46 seconds
Cinephobe Ep 228: Surviving The Game
Zach, Amin and Mayes are flying deep into the wilderness of the pacific northwest for their favorite annual therapeutic activity: Hunting the Unhoused Gentleman.
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6/27/2024 • 2 hours, 4 minutes, 32 seconds
Top 5 Villains
Zach, Amin and Mayes review their favorite baddies, the most diabolical antagonists and evil incarnates, characters who blazed such a trail of destruction their names are burned into our brains for eternity.
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6/24/2024 • 1 hour, 11 minutes, 58 seconds
Cinephobe Ep 227: Airheads - Part 2 (with Ian Karmel)
Zach, Amin, Mayes and Ian Karmel refuse to sign a record contract until everyone listens to Ian's new audiobook 'T-Shirt Swim Club'
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6/20/2024 • 1 hour, 33 minutes, 51 seconds
Cinephobe Ep 227: Airheads - Part 1 (with Ian Karmel)
Zach, Amin and Mayes team up with Ian Karmel to hold the KPPX Radio station hostage until everyone buys a copy of Ian's new book 'T-Shirt Swim Club'
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6/13/2024 • 1 hour, 37 minutes, 42 seconds
Top 5 Sidekicks
Zach, Amin and Mayes dive into the minutia of what makes someone a great sidekick as they explore the friendships and business relationships in Cinephobe history where there was a clear power dynamic and separation between leader and follower.
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6/10/2024 • 1 hour, 22 minutes, 54 seconds
Cinephobe Ep 226: Half Past Dead
Zach, Amin and Mayes took a ride on the flat line for 22 minutes and lived to podcast about it.
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6/6/2024 • 2 hours, 21 minutes, 10 seconds
Cinephobe Ep 225: Conan the Destroyer
Zach, Amin and Mayes are joined by a rag tag group of warriors, thieves, wizards and princesses on a quest across the land to retrieve the jeweled horn of the dreaming god Dagoth.
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5/30/2024 • 2 hours, 3 minutes, 32 seconds
Top 5 Worst Cops
Zach, Amin and Mayes are not gonna cawl de cwopz in this episode inspired by The Wicker Man Rewatchington.
Cinephobe has a rich history of police officers. Main characters, side characters, caricatures, schizos, weirdos and bozos. Not many of them are good at their job, but which ones are exceptionally bad?
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5/27/2024 • 1 hour, 23 minutes, 3 seconds
Cinephobe Ep 224: Men at Work
Zach, Amin and Mayes are taking out the trash and saving the environment.
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5/23/2024 • 2 hours, 13 minutes, 8 seconds
Cinephobe Ep 223: Bad Company - Part 2 (with Kelley L. Carter)
Zach, Amin, Mayes and Kelley L. Carter can only remember numbers by associating them with chess moves or tickets at Madison Square Garden.
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5/16/2024 • 1 hour, 42 minutes, 58 seconds
Top 5 Characters as Guests
Zach, Amin and Mayes choose the characters that they would most like to have on an episode as a guest to review a different movie.
What character do you think would fit in with the Cinephobe crew the best?
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5/13/2024 • 1 hour, 7 minutes, 13 seconds
Cinephobe Ep 223: Bad Company - Part 1
Zach, Amin and Mayes are recruited by the CIA to pose as their twin brother's alias in order to secure a suitcase nuke before it falls into the possession of a multi-national terrorist organization.
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5/9/2024 • 1 hour, 38 minutes, 54 seconds
Cinephobe Ep 222: Observe and Report
Zach, Amin and Mayes are back in the mall as security guards with delusions of grandeur and an obsession with firearms determined to stop a perverted flasher from harassing their patrons, no matter what it takes.
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5/2/2024 • 2 hours, 14 minutes, 50 seconds
Cinephobe Mailbag II: The Secret of the Ooze
Zach and Mayes answer listener questions live on YouTube
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4/29/2024 • 1 hour, 48 minutes, 11 seconds
Cinephobe Ep 221: Sudden Death - Part 2 (with Roy Bellamy)
Zach, Amin, Mayes and Roy are headed into extra time where the next goal in the seventh game wins the Stanley Cup, what's the name for that situation again????
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4/25/2024 • 1 hour, 22 minutes
Cinephobe Ep 221: Sudden Death - Part 1 (with Roy Bellamy)
Zach, Amin and Mayes are joined by the dad who stepped up, Roy Bellamy, after scoring tickets to the seventh game of the Stanley Cup Finals in Pittsburgh.
The only thing that can stop these puckheads from having the best day ever is an unplanned interruption by disgruntled government employees.
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4/18/2024 • 1 hour, 26 minutes, 32 seconds
Top 5 One Phile Movies
Zach, Amin and Mayes are challenged to compile a list of movies that they neither picked nor philed, but that one of the other two championed.
To no one's surprise, Zach is leading the league in this category and has the most picks to choose from.
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4/15/2024 • 55 minutes, 45 seconds
Cinephobe Ep 220: The Scout
Zach, Amin and Mayes are throwing over a hundred miles per hour and headed straight to the majors! So long as they get a letter certifying their mental health.
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4/11/2024 • 2 hours, 22 minutes, 59 seconds
Cinephobe Ep 219: Fool's Paradise
Zach, Amin and Mayes get put on the first bus downtown and end up starring in a major Hollywood picture.
They bond with their costar, seduce the leading lady, get pitched on a major IP franchise by a scenester director and climb all the way to the top of fame's fickle ladder before it comes toppling down.
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4/4/2024 • 2 hours, 15 minutes, 10 seconds
Top 5 Worst Spouses
In what turned out to be the longest and most bountiful CT5 to date, Zach Amin and Mayes select the worst husbands, wives, significant others and partners that have laid waste to a myriad of relationships in Cinephobe movies.
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4/1/2024 • 1 hour, 30 minutes, 38 seconds
Cinephobe Ep 218: Judgment Night - Part 2 (with Chef Reactions)
Zach, Amin and Mayes are joined by the great Chef Reactions to run through the sewer, cover all the entrances, taunt the security guards and confront their fears in the form of Denis Leary.
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3/28/2024 • 1 hour, 36 minutes, 26 seconds
Cinephobe Ep 218: Judgment Night - Part 1
Zach, Amin and Mayes are piling into a fully loaded RV, chugging some brewskis and headed to the big fight! Unfortunately, they get caught in traffic, and take a shortcut that will change their lives forever.
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3/21/2024 • 1 hour, 43 minutes, 39 seconds
Top 5 Memo Morenos
In Episode 211: Driven, we declared that Gina Gershon’s new husband Memo Moreno was so charming and handsome, you could understand why Sly Stallone would be cool with Memo, who was also a rival racer, getting involved with his ex-wife.
And in record time, Zach Amin & Mayes have turned around their top five “People You Would Be Cool With Smashing Your Girl”
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3/18/2024 • 1 hour, 9 minutes, 28 seconds
Cinephobe Ep 217: Balls of Fury
Zach, Amin and Mayes overcome childhood trauma and decades of working the lunch buffet in Reno to infiltrate the world's most exclusive and dangerous Ping Pong tournament and avenge their father's death.
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3/14/2024 • 2 hours, 53 seconds
Cinephobe Ep 216: Hurricane Smith
Zach, Amin and Mayes are a couple of hard working Texans headed to Surfer's Paradise down under to look for their missing sister, where they learn about septics, two ups and proper little bobby dazzlers.
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3/7/2024 • 2 hours, 15 minutes, 9 seconds
Top 5 Opening Scenes
It's not how you finish, it's how you start, so Zach, Amin and Mayes choose their favorite beginnings to Cinephobe movies.
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3/4/2024 • 1 hour, 42 seconds
Cinephobe Ep 215: The Commuter
Zach, Amin and Mayes are asked to do one little thing. Something they are uniquely qualified to do. Something meaningless to them, but that could profoundly affect an individual listening to this podcast. Will they do it?
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2/29/2024 • 2 hours, 11 minutes, 7 seconds
Cinephobe Ep 214: Blue Chips - Part 2 (with Anthony C. Hall)
Zach, Amin and Mayes are joined by Tony the point shaver himself to talk about how he got cast in Blue Chips, working for William Friedkin, observing Nick Nolte picking Bobby Knight's brain and so much more.
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2/22/2024 • 1 hour, 33 minutes, 44 seconds
Top 5 All The Makings
Zach, Amin and Mayes gather all the essential ingredients that coalesce into a classic Cinephobe experience.
The texture, the flavor, the color, the consistency... It’s definitely a Cinephobe movie.
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2/19/2024 • 1 hour, 14 minutes, 3 seconds
Cinephobe Ep 214: Blue Chips - Part 1
Zach, Amin and Mayes are recruiting the best podcasters in the country to Cinephobe University.
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2/15/2024 • 1 hour, 37 minutes, 33 seconds
A Cinephobe Tribute to Carl Weathers
Last week we lost an absolute titan.
A man whose work transcends genre and generations.
A world class athlete and thespian that was irresistibly charismatic.
A human being that was truly a one of a kind.
Rest In Power to the Count of Monte Fisto.
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2/9/2024 • 15 minutes, 46 seconds
Cinephobe Ep 213: A Gnome Named Gnorm
Zach, Amin and Mayes team up with a roundie and popo obsessed guh-nome named guh-norm to track down his missing lumen so he can reunite with his pooka Rena that spit good and leave Upworld behind.
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2/8/2024 • 2 hours, 3 minutes, 20 seconds
Top 5 Plot Liftoffs
Zach, Amin and Mayes choose their favorite moments when a movie stopped lollygagging and took action, propelling the story forward up into the air.
A term that originated in the first decade of Cinephobe, only to be brought back 150+ years later and given it's own theme music, Plot Liftoff is now a Cinephobe staple.
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2/5/2024 • 1 hour, 3 minutes, 9 seconds
Cinephobe Ep 212: MVP: Most Valuable Primate
Zach, Amin and Mayes are back on the ice with a secret weapon and everyone is going bananas.
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2/1/2024 • 2 hours, 8 minutes, 57 seconds
Cinephobe Ep 211: Driven
Zach, Amin and Mayes are podcasting for pure victory as they induct Sylvester Stallone into the Ten Timer's Club.
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1/25/2024 • 2 hours, 11 minutes, 13 seconds
Top 5 Characters Not On CT5 Art
Mark Ordner blessed Zach, Amin and Mayes with amazing CT5 art featuring 33 characters from Cinephobe movies. This CT5 is essentially the OLIs for the art, the characters that ended up on the cutting room floor.
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1/22/2024 • 48 minutes, 52 seconds
Cinephobe Ep 210: Tammy and the T-Rex
It's the tale as old as time: Boy meets Girl. Boy fights an ex-boyfriend. Boy gets killed by Lion. Boy gets brain removed by a mad scientist and inserted into a robot T-Rex.
Zach, Amin and Mayes find themselves in one-a-them testicular standoffs.
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1/18/2024 • 2 hours, 28 minutes, 2 seconds
Cinephobe Ep 209: Jaws: The Revenge
Zach, Amin and Mayes are headed to the Bahamas with a bloodthirsty shark hellbent on making the Brody family suffer for what they did to a different shark in a different movie.
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1/11/2024 • 2 hours, 22 minutes, 33 seconds
Top 5 Movies We Wish Qualified
Zach, Amin and Mayes put together the movies rated between 40 & 60 percent on Rotten Tomatoes that they wish could drop a little lower and become eligible for the show.
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1/8/2024 • 1 hour, 3 minutes, 22 seconds
Cinephobe Ep 208: D2: The Mighty Ducks
Zach, Amin and Mayes are teaming up with the best and brightest stars to represent their country (but really the Walt Disney Corporation) in the Junior Goodwill Games. So grab your gear and let's go play some schoolyard puck!
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1/4/2024 • 2 hours, 37 minutes, 58 seconds
Cinephobe Unlocked: Daddy's Home 2
Zach, Amin and Mayes did a Christmas movie in June, but are now unlocking this father's day exclusive episode for Christmas 2023! Full circle.
Whether you prefer to be called Pop Pop or El Padre, operate in the friendzone or the endzone, give your dad a big ol kiss on the lips.
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12/28/2023 • 2 hours, 3 minutes, 51 seconds
Cinephobe Ep 207: Timecop
Zach, Amin and Mayes are veteran Time Enforcement Commission agents mourning their dead wife and waging war across time with a corrupt presidential candidate.
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12/21/2023 • 2 hours, 28 minutes, 52 seconds
Cinephobe Ep 206: Universal Soldier
Zach, Amin and Mayes have had their memories erased and their corpses reanimated to become the most expensive and elite podcasting unit in the world.
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12/14/2023 • 2 hours, 32 minutes, 22 seconds
Top 5 Golden Dumpsters of 2023
Zach, Amin and Mayes conclude their award season by looking back at the most astonishing and jaw dropping Golden Dumpsters of 2023. From Liam Neeson month, to the Daisy Chain (but not directly connected), all the way through the third century of the podcast, we unveil our favorite moments of the podcast.
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12/11/2023 • 56 minutes, 7 seconds
Cinephobe Ep 205: Ghosts of Mars
Zach, Amin and Mayes have a whole twelve hours before sunup, and there’s money to burn, whores to fuck and drugs to take. Will they be able to escape the Martian charnel house?
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12/7/2023 • 2 hours, 16 seconds
Cinephobe Ep 204: Escape from L.A.
Zach, Amin and Mayes are injected with the Plutoxin 7 Virus and dispatched to Los Angeles Island, the deportation point for all people found undesirable or unfit to live in the new, moral America. Will they make it out alive?
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11/30/2023 • 2 hours, 17 minutes, 58 seconds
Top 5 Ass Ons of 2023
Zach, Amin and Mayes kick off their award season by looking back at the most astonishing and jaw dropping performances of 2023 (but in a bad way). From Liam Neeson month, to the Daisy Chain (but not directly connected), all the way through the third century of the podcast, we unveil our least favorite thespians.
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11/27/2023 • 45 minutes, 4 seconds
Cinephobe Ep 203: Paul Blart: Mall Cop 2
Zach, Amin and Mayes are headed to Steve Wynn's Las Vegas, Nevada for the Security Officers Trade Association Expo and Award ceremony.
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11/22/2023 • 2 hours, 1 minute, 2 seconds
Cinephobe Ep 202: Timeline
Zach, Amin and Mayes are faxed to the past to rescue their Scottish dad from being stranded in 14th century France during a crucial conflict of the Hundred Years' War.
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11/16/2023 • 2 hours, 10 minutes, 6 seconds
Top 5 Ass Offs of 2023
Zach, Amin and Mayes kick off their award season by looking back at the most astonishing and jaw dropping performances of 2023. From Liam Neeson month, to the Daisy Chain (but not directly connected), all the way through the third century of the podcast, we unveil our favorite thespians.
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11/13/2023 • 36 minutes, 58 seconds
Cinephobe Ep 201: Assassins
Zach, Amin and Mayes all desperately want to be Number One, so pack your silenced weapon and your cat, we're headed to the Banco Internacional in Puerto Rico for Dia de los Muertos.
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11/9/2023 • 2 hours, 18 minutes, 59 seconds
Cinephobe Ep 200: Judge Dredd - Part 2 (with Mike Ryan)
Zach, Amin, Mayes and Mike Ryan have been betrayed by the Law, cast out from Megacity 1 into the Cursed Earth. Will they make it back in time to defeat evil former Judge Rico and his huge Janus?
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11/2/2023 • 1 hour, 26 minutes, 12 seconds
Top 5 Twins
Zach, Amin and Mayes are looking in the mirror for the most dynamic duos sharing genetic material in 200 plus years of Cinephobe.
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10/30/2023 • 52 minutes, 12 seconds
Cinephobe Episode 200
Zach, Amin and Mayes celebrate their 200th Birthday.
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10/26/2023 • 1 hour, 30 minutes, 37 seconds
Cinephobe Ep 199: Amos & Andrew
Zach, Amin and Mayes grapple with racism yet again as a Pulitzer Prize winning author must overcome meddlesome fame hungry neighbors, a politically ambitious Chief of Police and a dim-witted career criminal who prevent him from enjoying even one night at his newly purchased summer home.
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10/19/2023 • 2 hours, 17 minutes, 12 seconds
Top 5 Animals
Zach, Amin and Mayes visit the Cinephobe Menagerie, filled with creatures big and small that have captured our hearts and opened our eyes to the magic of the animal kingdom.
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10/16/2023 • 40 minutes, 55 seconds
Cinephobe Ep 198: Deep Blue Sea - Part 2
Zach, Amin and Mayes now must escape from Aquatica as it floods while they are pursued by bloodthirsty eight thousand pound sharks with massive brains and a penchant for buggery.
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10/12/2023 • 1 hour, 17 minutes, 7 seconds
Cinephobe Ep 198: Deep Blue Sea - Part 1
Zach, Amin and Mayes are headed to Aquatica to wrangle sharks, feed whipped cream to parrots and cure Alzheimers.
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10/5/2023 • 1 hour, 24 minutes, 9 seconds
Top 5 Dangerous Nights Crew
Zach, Amin and Mayes assemble a squad of degenerates that would like nothing more than to slick back their hair and slosh water onto rare cuts of meat after a night at Blue Dolphin before it burned down.
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10/2/2023 • 1 hour, 37 seconds
Cinephobe Ep 197: Ed
Zach, Amin and Mayes buy Mickey Mantle's Monkey as part of 'The Plan' to turn around a struggling Santa Rosa Rockets minor league baseball team.
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9/28/2023 • 2 hours, 20 minutes, 17 seconds
Cinephobe Ep 196: Carbon Copy
Zach, Amin and Mayes don't lack a sense of the theatrical when a long lost son emerges and reality changes sides yet again.
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9/21/2023 • 2 hours, 17 minutes, 23 seconds
Top 5 Songs
Zach, Amin and Mayes put together their ultimate mixtape of Cinephobe bangers, whether they be songs written just for the movie, featured to tremendous aplomb, or their significance and meaning has changed since the advent of the podcast.
Got your own favorite Cinephobe songs? Add em to the Spotify playlist
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9/18/2023 • 1 hour, 10 minutes, 53 seconds
Cinephobe Unlocked: Jack & Jill
Zach, Amin and Mayes are serving up a double helping of Sandler for this Thanksgiving episode declassified from the Patreon. Be sure to tape your turkey drumstick to your chest, change your name to Dunk, book an open ended ticket and dream the impossible dream.
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9/14/2023 • 1 hour, 46 minutes, 12 seconds
Cinephobe Ep 195: Harlem Nights
Zach, Amin and Mayes run the hottest after hours club in town and are about to take gangster Bugsy Calhoune for everything he's got.
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9/7/2023 • 2 hours, 16 minutes, 25 seconds
Top 5 Taglines
Zach, Amin and Mayes go through the movies with the dumbest, punniest, and most intriguing taglines in the history of Cinephobe to find the slogans that really get the blood pumpin.
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9/4/2023 • 41 minutes, 24 seconds
Cinephobe Ep 194: See No Evil, Hear No Evil
Zach, Amin and Mayes are framed for murder and forced to heighten their senses.
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8/31/2023 • 2 hours, 17 minutes, 21 seconds
Cinephobe Ep 193: The Toy - Part 2 (with Roy Bellamy)
Zach, Amin, Mayes and Roy Bellamy teach each other lessons about friendship, fatherhood and love while a harpsichord obnoxiously thrums in the background to let us know there's a message happening.
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8/24/2023 • 1 hour, 23 minutes, 36 seconds
Top 5 Unofficial Awards
Zach, Amin and Mayes come up with a whole new slate of awards, taking inspiration from moments in Cinephobes past, similar to the way 'The Next Jim Carrey' became a recurring bit.
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8/21/2023 • 35 minutes, 46 seconds
Cinephobe Ep 193: The Toy - Part 1 (with Roy Bellamy)
Zach, Amin, Mayes and Roy Bellamy are purchased by Master Bates.
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8/17/2023 • 1 hour, 21 minutes, 1 second
Cinephobe Ep 192: Out Cold
Zach, Amin and Mayes are the Kings of Bull Mountain in this faithful adaption of Casablanca that shreds the gnar and lets the bingos rip.
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8/10/2023 • 2 hours, 14 minutes, 10 seconds
Top 5 Accents
Zach, Amin and Mayes run through the greatest accents and voices in Cinephobe history that they would give an A, including whatever you might call the namesake Louis Pinnock's accent.
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8/7/2023 • 55 minutes, 13 seconds
Cinephobe Ep 191: The Dukes of Hazzard
Zach, Amin and Mayes are just some good ol' boys never meanin' no harm in this rubber burnin', moonshine swillin', hootin' and hollerin' road movie.
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8/3/2023 • 2 hours, 5 minutes, 4 seconds
Cinephobe Ep 190: Congo
Zach, Amin and Mayes are headed to Central Africa to return Amy the Talking Gorilla to her homeland.
Or is it to secure the resources necessary for TraviCom to dominate the communications industry overnight?
No, it's definitely to find Solomon's Diamonds in the Lost City of Zinj.
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7/27/2023 • 2 hours, 13 minutes, 3 seconds
Top 5 Hats
Zach, Amin and Mayes are opening their hatboxes and unveiling their favorite chapeaus, lids, bonnets, caps, sombreros, berets, fedoras, toques, beanies, bowlers, pork pies, trilbies and helmets, but nobody called anybody an SP.
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7/24/2023 • 39 minutes, 2 seconds
Cinephobe Ep 189: Men In Black II
It's time for Zach, Amin and Mayes to put on the last suits they'll ever wear...again.
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7/20/2023 • 2 hours, 13 minutes, 20 seconds
Cinephobe Ep 188: The Bye Bye Man
Don't think it, don't say it.
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7/13/2023 • 2 hours, 1 minute, 42 seconds
Top 5 Worst Picks
Zach, Amin and Mayes assemble to determine the worst movie selections their co-hosts have made in the rich and illustrious history of the podcast.
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7/10/2023 • 36 minutes, 49 seconds
Cinephobe Unlocked: The Goods: Live Hard, Sell Hard
Declassified from the archives, Zach, Amin and Mayes are gettin real patriotic by reviewing the movie that celebrates America's greatest traits: Capitalism and Deception. This podcast sounds like the Bus Station from Total Recall.
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7/6/2023 • 1 hour, 26 minutes, 12 seconds
Cinephobe Ep 187: Fantastic Four: Rise of the Silver Surfer
Zach, Amin and Mayes are all set for the fantastic wedding of the century, when a disruption surfs up and intervenes.
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6/29/2023 • 1 hour, 58 minutes, 20 seconds
Top 5 Deaths
Cinephobe's art is death, and we're about to paint our masterpiece.
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6/26/2023 • 30 minutes, 55 seconds
Cinephobe Ep 186: Street Kings
Zach, Amin and Mayes are slamming one airplane bottle of liquor after another as they climb up the ladder for the movie that wants to be Training Day so badly.
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6/22/2023 • 2 hours, 10 minutes, 19 seconds
Cinephobe Ep 185: Hard Rain
Zach, Amin and Mayes gotta flood for the movie that was a Harper Family Outing in 1998.
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6/15/2023 • 1 hour, 58 minutes, 12 seconds
Top 5 0% Movies
Zach, Amin and Mayes celebrate the release of Simon Sez by ranking all twelve of the movies that couldn't even get a single positive critical review from best to worst.
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6/12/2023 • 57 minutes, 54 seconds
Cinephobe Ep 184: Simon Sez
Zach, Amin and Mayes are a couple of old style dogs leading a bunch of fanatics trying to get France out of Corsica.
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6/8/2023 • 2 hours, 6 minutes, 5 seconds
Cinephobe Ep 183.5: Waiting... Addendum (with Chef Reactions)
Zach, Amin and Mayes are joined by cuisine connoisseur Chef Reactions to break down just how accurate the movie really is, his own horror stories of diners coming in just before the kitchen closes, his favorite movies and tv shows involving chefs, and so much more.
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6/5/2023 • 53 minutes, 7 seconds
Cinephobe Ep 183: Waiting...
Zach, Amin and Mayes are not prepared for their first day of work at ShenaniganZ, but luckily the friendly staff is here to remind us that the difference between ordinary and extraordinary… Is that little extra.
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6/1/2023 • 2 hours, 12 minutes, 51 seconds
Top 5 Names
Zach, Amin and Mayes determine the greatest fictional names in Cinephobe movie history, while sprinkling in a few of their own creations along the way.
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5/29/2023 • 42 minutes, 9 seconds
Cinephobe Ep 182: You Don't Mess with the Zohan
Zach, Amin and Mayes want to make the whole world silky smooth, so let's go.
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5/25/2023 • 2 hours, 10 minutes, 51 seconds
Cinephobe Ep 181: Grandma's Boy
Zach, Amin and Mayes are forced to move in with their Grandmothers in the episode that proves you don't need an Adam Sandler appearance to make an Adam Sandler movie.
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5/18/2023 • 2 hours, 19 minutes, 7 seconds
Top 5 Weapons
Zach, Amin and Mayes are opening the armory and emptying the clip for their favorite weapons in Cinephobe Cinematic Universe.
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5/15/2023 • 32 minutes, 58 seconds
Cinephobe Ep 180: Accepted
Zach, Amin and Mayes got rejected from every podcast in the country, so they decided to reject rejection and start their own. Ask us about our wieners.
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5/11/2023 • 2 hours, 25 minutes, 45 seconds
Cinephobe Ep 179: The Invention of Lying
Zach, Amin and Mayes are the first people to say a thing that wasn't, and the ramifications from this discovery are gonna change mankind forever. It’s the most important podcast episode the world has ever heard.
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5/4/2023 • 1 hour, 53 minutes, 8 seconds
Top 5 Jobs
They say if you love what you do, you never have to work a day in your life, so Zach, Amin and Mayes apply for their dream jobs from Cinephobe's bountiful buffet of options.
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5/1/2023 • 32 minutes, 34 seconds
Cinephobe Ep 178: Almost Heroes
Zach, Amin and Mayes are determined to beat Lewis and Clark to the Pacific Ocean in this ribaldrous romp across the American West at the turn the 19th century, wench.
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4/27/2023 • 1 hour, 44 minutes, 26 seconds
Cinephobe Ep 177: Bringing Down The House - Part 2 (with JuJu Gotti)
Zach, Amin, Mayes and JuJu Gotti like their jello to jiggle and their cell phones made out of Titanium as the house finally gets brought down.
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4/20/2023 • 1 hour, 23 minutes, 59 seconds
Top 5 Vehicles
Zach, Amin and Mayes are back behind the wheel to determine the greatest vehicles in Cinephobe history. Buckle up for safety, it's gonna be a bumpy ride.
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4/17/2023 • 34 minutes, 1 second
Cinephobe Ep 177: Bringing Down The House - Part 1 (with JuJu Gotti)
Zach, Amin, Mayes and JuJu Gotti are looking for love in Yahoo legal chat rooms in the most unlikely two part episode to date.
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4/13/2023 • 1 hour, 27 minutes, 30 seconds
Cinephobe Ep 176: Don't Be a Menace to South Central While Drinking Your Juice in the Hood
Zach, Amin and Mayes are an endangered species because rappers are taking all the good podcasting jobs. MESSAGE!
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4/6/2023 • 1 hour, 50 minutes, 49 seconds
Top 5 Worst Dancers in Cinephobe History
Zach, Amin and Mayes are test driving a new format where they go back through the anals of Cinephobe history to determine their own personal top five lists, and this time around it's the worst dancers of all time.
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4/3/2023 • 34 minutes, 1 second
Cinephobe Ep 175: Encino Man
Zach, Amin and Mayes are a couple of stoney crusty dudes with mops on top that only care about nugs, chillin and grindage while wheezing the juice to the fullest.
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3/30/2023 • 2 hours, 4 minutes, 57 seconds
Cinephobe Ep 174: Event Horizon (with Pockets Graham)
Zach, Amin, Mayes and Pockets Graham travel beyond Neptune to board a ship that can harness the power of a black hole, bend space time and travel beyond the boundaries of known scientific reality.
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3/23/2023 • 2 hours, 5 minutes, 30 seconds
Cinephobe Ep 173: The Ice Road
Zach, Amin and Mayes still have a particular set of skills as Liam Neeson joins the illustrious ten timers club. Liam must drive trucks across frozen lakes accompanied by a toothpick, a rat named Skeeter, and his aphasic brother Gurty. Will they overcome all their obstacles and make it in time to save workers in a collapsed diamond mine?
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3/16/2023 • 1 hour, 52 minutes, 52 seconds
Cinephobe Ep 172: Fled
Zach, Amin and Mayes are convicts that gotta fled in order to ride Ducatis and recover a computer disk holding financial information for the Cuban Mafia. If you meet us behind the scoreboard in the Georgia Dome, we will show you how log on to the Inner Sanctum.
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3/9/2023 • 1 hour, 55 minutes, 28 seconds
Cinephobe Ep 171: The Waterboy
Zach, Amin and Mayes are bayou bound and ready to open up a whole case of whupass playin foosball or whatever you call it with them gargantuans. Mama says Cinephobe is the DEVIL!
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3/2/2023 • 1 hour, 56 minutes, 17 seconds
Cinephobe Ep 170: Barb Wire
Zach, Amin and Mayes are desperately trying to find a way out of Steel Harbor using fake contact lenses to fool a retinal scanner in this titillating vision of the future. Don't call this podcast babe!
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2/23/2023 • 2 hours, 5 minutes, 28 seconds
Cinephobe Ep 169: Speed 2: Cruise Control (with Billy Gil)
Zach, Amin and Mayes are joined by cruise expert Billy Gil for a thrilling adventure on the high seas. Whether you're trying to propose to your girlfriend of seven months that you don't know that well, or just trying to relax while leeches purify your blood of copper poisoning, the Seabourn Legend is the ideal vessel.
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2/16/2023 • 2 hours, 4 minutes, 9 seconds
Cinephobe Ep 168: Practical Magic
Zach, Amin and Mayes are a couple of practical prestidigitators cuttin' it up in this inexplicably expensive movie that's feeling very into sisters and introduces the concept of future Cinephobe Dracula Cowboy.
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2/9/2023 • 1 hour, 51 minutes, 45 seconds
Cinephobe Ep 167: Blacklight
Film Noir! Zach used his wildcard to block Amin’s pick and take us back to Liam Neeson month with a film that consolidates all of his previous movie storylines into a Voltron with a particular set of skills.
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2/2/2023 • 1 hour, 57 minutes, 55 seconds
Cinephobe Ep 166: Men In Black International (with Marshall Newhouse)
Zach, Amin, Mayes and Marshall Newhouse are suited up to protect the earth from the scum of the universe. Unfortunately, that includes many of the movies covered on this podcast. Kabla Nakshulin!
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1/26/2023 • 2 hours, 9 minutes, 46 seconds
Cinephobe Ep 165: Taken 2
Zach, Amin and Mayes are back to take revenge in the incessant vendetta between Liam Neeson and every Albanian from Tropojë that has ever existed. The battleground is Istanbul, and every conquest for the last 2,500 years, whether it was the West going East or the East going West, they all used this very same waterway.
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1/19/2023 • 2 hours, 7 minutes, 13 seconds
Cinephobe Ep 164: Taken 3
Zach, Amin and Mayes have a very particular set of skills. Skills they have acquired over a 164 year podcasting career. Skills that make them uniquely qualified to amble onward through Liam Neeson month and finish off the Taken series before it's even begun. Good luck.
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1/12/2023 • 2 hours, 3 minutes, 46 seconds
Cinephobe Ep 163: Memory
2023 is here and so is Liam Neeson Month! Zach, Amin and Mayes are a couple of assassins with early onset Alzheimer's disease trying to complete one last job. Will they stick to their code, or just forget about it? I don't remember.
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1/5/2023 • 2 hours, 13 minutes, 18 seconds
Cinephobe Unlocked: 200 Cigarettes
Declassified from the archives, Zach, Amin and Mayes count down to the big ball drop with the final movie of the year. Will everyone show up to the New Years party in time to hook up with someone and avoid being jinxed for the entire following year? Will they smoke 200 cigarettes in this movie? Will Elvis Costello find his glasses? Are we still making the same jokes we made a year ago? Tune in to find out.
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12/29/2022 • 2 hours, 32 seconds
Cinephobe Ep 162: Can't Hardly Wait
Zach, Amin and Mayes are celebrating with the Huntington Hills High Class of 1998 at the graduation party to end all graduation parties. Whether you're a nerd, jock, babe, stoner, goth, exchange student or ever formed a band, you'll find representation in this movie that's all about the memories, man!
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12/22/2022 • 2 hours, 4 minutes, 20 seconds
Cinephobe Ep 161: Don't Worry Darling
Zach, Amin and Mayes are fully committed to the Victory Project and it's idyllic existence in a desert town, greeted at home after their long days at work with a glass of brown liquor and a five course meal. However, things aren't as perfect as they seem...
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12/15/2022 • 2 hours, 17 minutes, 13 seconds
Cinephobe Ep 160: Semi-Pro
When they look back in the anals of history, they're gonna be talking about three things: discovery of fire, invention of the submarine, and the Semi-Pro episode of Cinephobe. Let's get Tropical.
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12/8/2022 • 1 hour, 50 minutes, 38 seconds
Cinephobe Ep 159: The Da Vinci Code (with Jessica Smetana)
Zach, Amin and Mayes were joined by Jessica Smetana in the year twenty twenty two Anno Domini at the Council of Assinine to play Bananagrams and crack the Wordle Cryptex.
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12/1/2022 • 2 hours, 51 minutes, 39 seconds
Cinephobe Ep 158: Bad Boys II - Part 2
Zach, Amin and Mayes are still shaking their tailfeathers in the explosive conclusion to this two part episode. We've got homemade sex tapes being played on every screen at Phat A/V, intimidating an innocent young man named Reggie, Marcus accidentally rolling balls on ecstasy, and just when you thought it couldn't get any crazier, a covert operation to infiltrate Cuba that ends in a Guantanamo Bay minefield.
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11/24/2022 • 1 hour, 36 minutes, 47 seconds
Cinephobe Ep 158: Bad Boys II - Part 1
Zach, Amin and Mayes ride together and die together in the sequel so replete with Bayhem that we had to break it into two parts. The only thing flying as rapidly and repeatedly as the bullets is the banter, and when Hector Juan Carlos "Johnny" Tapia is trying to get his X-Man money out of the country, the Bad Boys will stop at nothing to bring him down.
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11/17/2022 • 1 hour, 39 minutes, 46 seconds
Cinephobe Ep 157: Legion
Zach, Amin and Mayes are tired of all the bullshit, so they're headed to a diner in the middle of the desert to protect the second coming of the only hope humanity has of surviving: The premature bastard child of a cigarette smoking waitress.
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11/10/2022 • 2 hours, 3 minutes, 50 seconds
Cinephobe Ep 156: Nacho Libre
Zach, Amin and Mayes must keep their identities secret in order to maintain their double lives as podcasters and luchadors. Whether you believe in God or believe in Science, crack this episode open like an Eagle egg and bless yourself with nutrients and strength.
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11/3/2022 • 1 hour, 57 minutes, 7 seconds
Cinephobe Ep 155: Super Troopers (with Ian Karmel)
Zach, Amin and Mayes called for backup to break down this rollicking quote fest of a movie and close out Broken Lizard Month. Ian Karmel joins the show to unleash a furious Joe Pesci imitation, disclose his personal rankings for the Chris Wars, and settle once and for all who's a better friend, Zach or Amin. Oh yeah, and discuss the movie.
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Anthony Mayes @cornpuzzle IG: @cornpuzzle
The show page @CinephobePod
Email: [email protected]
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10/27/2022 • 2 hours, 14 minutes, 23 seconds
Cinephobe Ep 154: The Slammin' Salmon
Zach, Amin and Mayes are slingin' seafood like there's no tomorrow at former Heavyweight Champion Cleon Salmon's restaurant. They have one night to make $20,000 while serving the cast of CFI Hotlanta, an actor trying to propose, the entire Miami Dolphins offensive line and a man just trying to read War & Peace.
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Anthony Mayes @cornpuzzle IG: @cornpuzzle
The show page Amin recently excavated @CinephobePod
Email: [email protected]
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10/20/2022 • 1 hour, 57 minutes, 5 seconds
Cinephobe Ep 153: Club Dread
Zach, Amin and Mayes are headed to Pleasure Island for a hedonistic vacation with Coconut Pete and his staff to do the Sun Salute, play real life Pac Man, drink from an ice luge and waste away in Piña Coladaburg
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Anthony Mayes @cornpuzzle IG: @cornpuzzle
The show page Amin recently excavated @CinephobePod
Email: [email protected]
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10/13/2022 • 1 hour, 59 minutes, 26 seconds
Cinephobe Ep 152: Beerfest
Zach, Amin and Mayes are the progeny of thieving shtableboys who travel to Munich with aims of winning a secretive international podcasting competition and restoring honor to Cinephobe's name.
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The show page Amin recently excavated @CinephobePod
Email: [email protected]
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10/6/2022 • 1 hour, 59 minutes, 35 seconds
Cinephobe Ep 151: Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles III (with Jason Concepcion)
Zach, Amin and Mayes are joined by the immaculate Jason Concepcion for an epic time travel adventure back to feudal Japan replete with references to mid 90s pop culture. Schwing!
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The show page Amin recently excavated @CinephobePod
Email: [email protected]
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9/29/2022 • 2 hours, 11 minutes, 9 seconds
Cinephobe Ep 150: Hulk
Zach, Amin and Mayes are mean, green, podcasting machines in this episode that unlocks repressed memories and soothes family trauma. You're gonna like us when we're angry.
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Email: [email protected]
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9/22/2022 • 2 hours, 15 minutes, 30 seconds
The Cinephobe Glossary
Zach, Amin and Mayes go back in time to explain inside jokes, references and terminology from 149 years of Cinephobe, to help listeners clarify where they originated.
If there are any jokes or terms that you feel like we missed and would like more information on, tweet us, email us, or leave a review
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The show page Amin recently excavated @CinephobePod
Email: [email protected]
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9/15/2022 • 2 hours, 10 minutes, 51 seconds
Cinephobe Ep 149: Venom
Zach, Amin and Mayes have formed a symbiotic relationship with this podcast, one that may be slowly killing them and keeping them alive all at the same time. WE are Cinephobe.
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The show page Amin recently excavated @CinephobePod
Email: [email protected]
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9/8/2022 • 2 hours, 2 minutes, 32 seconds
Cinephobe Ep 148: Green Lantern
Zach, Amin and Mayes have created this podcast out of sheer concentrated power of will. A reckless, cavalier pilot is forced to confront the fear of the two most powerful forces in the Universe: Commitment & Poppytalk.
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The show page Amin recently excavated @CinephobePod
Email: [email protected]
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9/1/2022 • 2 hours, 3 minutes, 46 seconds
Cinephobe Ep 147: Man on Fire (with JuJu Gotti)
Zach, Amin and Mayes are joined once again by the incomparable JuJu Gotti for the heartfelt and emotional origin story of a young swimmer with olympic dreams training with a new coach that unlocks her potential. Unfortunately, her rise to the top gets tragically derailed by the unexpected return of Kidnaping month.
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The show page Amin recently excavated @CinephobePod
Email: [email protected]
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8/25/2022 • 2 hours, 2 minutes, 24 seconds
Cinephobe Ep 146: Fallen
Zach, Amin and Mayes seek to exorcise their podcasting demons when they find themselves confronted by an ancient evil with a sadistic nature that loves to sing: Drunk Amin.
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The show page Amin recently excavated @CinephobePod
Email: [email protected]
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8/18/2022 • 2 hours, 26 minutes, 46 seconds
Cinephobe Ep 145: Heart Condition
After wrecking the old one with greasy food, cigarettes, and a stressful lifestyle, Zach, Amin & Mayes receive a new heart and fresh start.
Only one catch: it comes from the black lawyer that stole your girlfriend who's going to haunt you, literally.
From the podcast that brought you episodes discussing movies where:
A black man believes he is Italian
An Italian man disguises himself as a turtle
A white man wears blackface to attend Harvard
Two black men impersonate white women to prevent a kidnaping
White people are subjugated in a world where reality just changed sides
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Anthony Mayes @cornpuzzle IG: @cornpuzzle
The show page Amin recently excavated @CinephobePod
Email: [email protected]
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8/11/2022 • 1 hour, 57 minutes, 16 seconds
Cinephobe Ep 144: Virtuosity
Zach, Amin and Mayes have evolved, incubating more than 200 podcasts into a fifty terabyte self evolving neural network uploaded onto a nanotech android that chews glass like pop rocks and really wants you to comment, like and subscribe.
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The show page Amin recently excavated @CinephobePod
Email: [email protected]
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8/4/2022 • 2 hours, 7 minutes, 29 seconds
Cinephobe Ep 143: Predator 2 (with Roy Bellamy)
Zach, Amin and Mayes team up with Roy Bellamy to hunt the ultimate hunter in a sweaty and blood soaked dystopian Los Angeles.
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The show page Amin recently excavated @CinephobePod
Email: [email protected]
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7/28/2022 • 2 hours, 6 minutes, 36 seconds
Cinephobe Ep 142: Suburban Commando
Zach, Amin and Mayes are ordered to take a vacation from podcasting around the galaxy, so they rent a converted shed in suburbia to acquaint themselves with an earthling existence.
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The show page Amin recently excavated @CinephobePod
Email: [email protected]
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7/21/2022 • 2 hours, 7 minutes, 11 seconds
Cinephobe Ep 141: Battleship
Zach, Amin and Mayes are deployed in naval war games for RIMPAC 2012 when all of a sudden, for the second time in Cinephobe history, the fate of Hawaii hangs in the balance. Will these honest podcasters fendi off their second consecutive alien invasion thanks to Rihanna's acting debut? Tune in to find out as Space Month continues.
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The show page Amin recently excavated @CinephobePod
Email: [email protected]
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7/14/2022 • 2 hours, 12 minutes, 28 seconds
Cinephobe Ep 140: The Watch
Zach, Amin and Mayes are a rag tag group of heroes brought together by custom jackets with inspiring logos and a desire to tear shit up while enforcing society's rules. Fresh horses for my men! Tonight we ride!
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The show page Amin recently excavated @CinephobePod
Email: [email protected]
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7/7/2022 • 1 hour, 53 minutes, 18 seconds
Cinepheud 3: Cinepardy
It's time for the Cinephobe Game Show!
Zach and Amin compete to test their knowledge of their own podcast, attempting to answer questions crafted by Mayes and presented in a Jeopardy style format.
There are eight categories with five questions of increasing point value and difficulty, as well as two secret double elimination questions.
Who will be the first Cinepardy champion?
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The show page Amin recently excavated @CinephobePod
Email: [email protected]
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6/30/2022 • 1 hour, 13 minutes
Cinephobe Ep 139: Tiptoes (with Brad Williams)
Brad Williams makes his triumphant return to Cinephobe as he joins Zach, Amin and Mayes to review the movie so offensive to little people that we had to come up with a new term for it: "Short Leg". So sit back, relax, flop those legs up on the couch and craft a concoction of your finest cognac and cherry morphine as this movie gets down on its knees to blow you away.
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The show page Amin recently excavated @CinephobePod
Email: [email protected]
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6/23/2022 • 2 hours, 14 minutes, 23 seconds
Cinephobe Ep 138: Two for the Money (with Mike Ryan)
Mike Ryan returns to Cinephobe for the third time and joins Zach, Amin and Mayes in their quest to watch every movie featuring a homoerotic mentor-protegé dynamic. Buckle up for the rollercoaster ride from gridiron glory to prognostication prowess, and all the way back down to the gutter. We're gamblin' again!
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The show page Amin recently excavated @CinephobePod
Email: [email protected]
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6/16/2022 • 2 hours, 6 minutes, 23 seconds
Cinephobe Ep 137: The Beach Bum
Zach, Amin and Mayes take a sun drenched sojourn down to the Florida Keys to suck the nectar outta this podcast alongside Moondog, Flicker, Cap Wack, Lingerie and Jimmy Buffett. You know the best part about the devil? He finds the fun, and then we take Jesus and we just ride him all the way to the top.
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The show page Amin recently excavated @CinephobePod
Email: [email protected]
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6/9/2022 • 1 hour, 47 minutes, 36 seconds
Cinephobe Ep 136: Ghosts of Girlfriends Past
Zach, Amin and Mayes are visited by the Ghosts of Exposition Past, Present and Future in a desperate attempt to change their ways. Take shelter from the estrogen lynch mob, come on in and get cozy at the Manosphere Bar where the misogyny flows like divine ambrosia and everything's gonna be alright alright alright...
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The show page Amin recently excavated @CinephobePod
Email: [email protected]
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6/2/2022 • 2 hours, 2 minutes, 32 seconds
Cinephobe Ep 135: Maximum Overdrive (with Michelle Beadle)
Zach, Amin and Mayes are just a couple of road twitches stuck at Michelle “Bubba” Beadle’s truck stop hoping to survive the rise of the machines caused by a radioactive comet coating the world in a fine layer of lime green chaos. We made this podcast!! Where’s the loyalty??
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The show page Amin recently excavated @CinephobePod
Email: [email protected]
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5/26/2022 • 1 hour, 55 minutes, 20 seconds
Cinephobe Ep 134: Soul Plane
Zach, Amin and Mayes have graduated from the Pelican Bay School of Podcasting (with honors) just in time to record from the Soul Plane during its inaugural cross country journey. Whether you're in First Class dining on fee lay mane yane, or in Low Class choosing between Colt 45 and Alizé, make sure your seat backs and tray tables are in their full upright position as we prepare for takeoff.
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The show page Amin recently excavated @CinephobePod
Email: [email protected]
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5/19/2022 • 1 hour, 52 minutes, 24 seconds
Cinephobe Ep 133: Taxi
Buckle up for safety, Cinephobiacs! Zach, Amin and Mayes are commandeering this podcast to pursue an unstoppable group of seductive bank robbers with the help of elite bike messenger and NASCAR enthusiast Queen Latifah.
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The show page Amin recently excavated @CinephobePod
Email: [email protected]
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5/12/2022 • 1 hour, 51 minutes, 43 seconds
Cinephobe Ep 132: Dude, Where's My Car?
Zach, Amin and Mayes have a very mysterious and powerful podcast, and its mystery is exceeded only by its power. ¡ZOLTAN!
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The show page Amin recently excavated @CinephobePod
Email: [email protected]
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5/5/2022 • 2 hours, 2 minutes, 6 seconds
Cinephobe Ep 131: National Treasure: Book of Secrets
Zach, Amin and Mayes are on a quest to clear their podcast's name and put a stop to the KGC (Kentucky Grilled Chicken) once and for all. After a quick jaunt across the pond to retrieve some crucial clues from Paris and Buckingham Palace, they visit Mount Vernon, the Library of Congress, and Mount Rushmore on their tourist trap treasure trail. Do you like ducks?
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The show page Amin recently excavated @CinephobePod
Email: [email protected]
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4/27/2022 • 2 hours, 10 minutes, 24 seconds
Cinephobe Ep 130: Bangkok Dangerous
Zach, Amin and Mayes are headed to the City of Mirrors in Thailand for One Last Job, making a quick pit stop at the pharmacy to fulfill their prescription for love.
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4/20/2022 • 1 hour, 57 minutes, 49 seconds
Cinephobe Ep 129: Deadfall
Zach, Amin and Mayes are just a couple of loyalty podcasters bringing in marks for a classic possum trap. Will they make it out unscathed, and more importantly, will they get the cake?? Cage month lurches forward with this family affair from the fourth or fifth most talented director in the Coppola family, depending on who you ask.
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4/13/2022 • 2 hours, 16 minutes, 47 seconds
Cinephobe Ep 128: Left Behind
When the virtuous and God-fearing citizens of the world suddenly disappear in the blink of an eye, Zach, Amin and Mayes are, you guessed it, Left Behind to record a podcast with the Antichrist.
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4/6/2022 • 2 hours, 5 minutes, 11 seconds
Cinephobe Ep 127: The Watcher
Zach, Amin and Mayes are tormented FBI agents trying to bury the guilt and failure of their past with migraine medicine injections and rakefuls of garbage Vietnamese food. When an uncatchable serial killer with an endless budget follows them to Chicago, they are forced to form a joint task force and save the city's female loners from imminent death.
Join the Count The Dings Patreon for the 2021 Awards, Glossary, Holiday Episodes, Cinepheud, and the full Mailbag at www.patreon.com/CountTheDings
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3/30/2022 • 2 hours, 1 minute, 8 seconds
Cinephobe Ep 126: White Man's Burden
Zach, Amin and Mayes induct John Travolta into the ten timer's club with the movie that flipped the world upside down so startlingly, it has never recovered. When a family man hits rock bottom at an astronomical rate, he is forced to do whatever is necessary to recover the money owed to him by his wealthy former boss.
Join the Count The Dings Patreon for the 2021 Awards, Glossary, Holiday Episodes, Cinepheud, and the full Mailbag at www.patreon.com/CountTheDings
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3/23/2022 • 2 hours, 14 minutes, 11 seconds
Cinephobe Ep 125: The Golden Child
400 years ago, the Nu Trong Oracle predicted that Cinephobe would do an episode on The Golden Child, and the Chosen Ones Zach Amin and Mayes would ascertain whether or not it was accurately poorly rated, or maybe just didn’t get a fair shake.
Join the Count The Dings Patreon for the 2021 Awards, Glossary, Holiday Episodes, Cinepheud, and the full Mailbag at www.patreon.com/CountTheDings
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3/16/2022 • 2 hours, 12 minutes, 25 seconds
Cinephobe Ep 124: The Master of Disguise
Disguise the limit for Zach Amin and Mayes in the first movie of Kidnaping month and only 1% movie in Cinephobe history. Is this podcast not turtley enough for the turtle club?
Subscribe to Cued Up - Mayes' TV Podcast about Succession Season 3 and more
Join the Count The Dings Patreon for the Glossary, Retroactive Awards, Holiday Episodes, Cinepheud, and the full Mailbag at www.patreon.com/CountTheDings
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3/9/2022 • 1 hour, 52 minutes, 31 seconds
Cinephobe Ep 123: Belly
Zach, Amin and Mayes are walking into the club in slow motion, glistening blue in the blacklight while fully slicked down in baby oil. Shorty can't eat no books, but shorty can eat a podcast, as we close out Black Heritage Month with a fraudulent poll.
Subscribe to Cued Up - Mayes' TV Podcast about Succession Season 3 and more
Join the Count The Dings Patreon for the Glossary, Retroactive Awards, Holiday Episodes, Cinepheud, and the full Mailbag at www.patreon.com/CountTheDings
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3/2/2022 • 2 hours, 58 seconds
Cinephobe Ep 122: A Low Down Dirty Shame
Just when Zach, Amin and Mayes thought they were out of the game, they get pulled back in by an old flame. The dame claimed she was not to blame, all the same, it was a low down dirty shame.
Subscribe to Cued Up - Mayes' TV Podcast about Succession Season 3 and more
Join the Count The Dings Patreon for the Glossary, Retroactive Awards, Holiday Episodes, Cinepheud, and the full Mailbag at www.patreon.com/CountTheDings
You will also get access to our exclusive watch-a-long episodes in 2022 and beyond!
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Email: [email protected]
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2/23/2022 • 2 hours, 3 minutes, 59 seconds
Cinephobe Ep 121: The Five Heartbeats (with Roy Bellamy)
Zach, Amin and Mayes are joined by repeat offender Roy Bellamy, producer of the Dan LeBatard Show with Stugotz, to form one of the most legendary crossover podcasting groups in history. Greater than Flash and the Ebony Sparks, Bird and the Midnight Falcons, and the Temptations all put together.
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2/16/2022 • 2 hours, 15 minutes, 35 seconds
Cinephobe Ep 120: Class Act
Zach, Amin and Mayes are debuting their latest podcast at the Anti-Drug rally and following it up with a round of Cinepheud at the Knowledge Bowl. A simple case of mistaken identity leads to a series of zany mishaps, an angry drug dealer and Pauly Shore dressed as a genie.
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Email: [email protected]
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2/9/2022 • 1 hour, 41 minutes, 42 seconds
Cinephobe Ep 119: Zookeeper
Zach, Amin and Mayes are breaking a Gorilla out of the Zoo so they can rip it up at TGI Fridays. This movie answers finally answers the long anticipated question: If animals were pick-up artists, what kind of dating advice would they give?
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Email: [email protected]
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2/2/2022 • 2 hours, 2 minutes, 26 seconds
Cinephobe Ep 118: Rhinestone
Zach, Amin and Mayes bet everything, and we mean everything, that they can turn a New York City cabbie into an overnight podcasting sensation. Will they discover a Rhinestone in the rough? Or will Stallone Year come to an end?
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Zach Harper @talkhoops IG: @talkhoops
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Email: [email protected]
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1/26/2022 • 2 hours, 5 minutes, 11 seconds
Cinephobe Ep 117.5: Stallone Month Addendum (with Stugotz)
Zach, Amin and Mayes are joined by the one and only Stugotz from The Dan Le Batard Show with Stugotz to discuss all of the movies from Stallone Month. Stu breaks out his top secret Stallone File that he's been keeping under wraps for years until this podcast, where he gives us the Top 5 Stallone Movies and Top 5 Stallone Characters in his personal record book.
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Email: [email protected]
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1/21/2022 • 1 hour, 2 minutes, 17 seconds
Cinephobe Ep 117: Cobra
Bad Movies are a disease. Meet the Cure.
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1/19/2022 • 2 hours, 14 minutes, 53 seconds
Cinephobe Ep 116: Rocky IV
Zach, Amin and Mayes travel to an isolated cabin in Russia to train for their greatest podcast yet. They're not as young as springtime no more, but they can't change what they really are. Podcasters, gents.
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The show page Amin recently excavated @CinephobePod
Email: [email protected]
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1/12/2022 • 2 hours, 14 minutes, 35 seconds
Cinephobe Ep 115: Over the Top
Zach, Amin and Mayes are taking it higher and fighting with fire in their quest to win the Arm Wrestling World Championship out of the independent podcaster division. Will these plucky underdogs be able to strap up and pull their way through the field of burly truckers? It is double elimination after all, in other words, if you lose once, you still have one more chance.
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Email: [email protected]
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1/5/2022 • 2 hours, 4 minutes, 7 seconds
Cinephobe Unlocked: Four Christmases
Zach, Amin and Mayes are full of holiday cheer for this (formerly) Patreon exclusive episode where they discuss potential name changes, Amin's taboo prowess, Reese Witherspoon's talent, and are joined for the first time ever by a rotten tomatoes reviewer.
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12/29/2021 • 1 hour, 53 minutes, 21 seconds
Cinephobe Ep 114: Now You See Me 2
Zach, Amin and Mayes have more than a few tricks up their sleeves as heist month disappears in a puff of smoke. The Four Horseman face their greatest foe to date, a Harry Potter that traded in his wand for a super computer, and certainly not a single twist or illusion, everything is exactly as it seems.
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CTD @countthedings IG: @countthedings
Email: [email protected]
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12/22/2021 • 2 hours, 20 minutes, 5 seconds
Cinephobe Ep 113: Honest Thief
Zach, Amin and Mayes are just a couple of honest podcasters trying to do a heist month, but corrupt heist movies keep film noiring their way out of the genre. Liam Neesons is our shit, but this movie has gone too far. Will the podcasters clear their names and continue to use their particular set of skills? Or will it all be Taken from them.
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Zach Harper @talkhoops IG: @talkhoops
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Email: [email protected]
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12/15/2021 • 1 hour, 53 minutes, 55 seconds
Cinephobe Ep 112: 3000 Miles to Graceland
Zach, Amin and Mayes are the bastard sons of Elvis out to rob a Casino in the most straightforward plan in Cinephobe history. Kevin Costner goes against type as a sideburned slayer and Kurt Russell gets trapped by a single mom while the soundtrack and visual style evoke a picture perfect period piece of the early 2000s.
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Zach Harper @talkhoops IG: @talkhoops
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Email: [email protected]
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12/8/2021 • 1 hour, 58 minutes, 21 seconds
Cinephobe Ep 111: Red Notice
Zach, Amin and Mayes are the number one podcasts thieves in the world, and it's time to put their skills to the test. In a fast and furious four horse race between Banter, Exposition, Film Noir and Poppytalk, this episode ended up funnier than the Vin Diesel audition tape for Cats.
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Zach Harper @talkhoops IG: @talkhoops
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Email: [email protected]
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12/1/2021 • 2 hours, 11 minutes, 33 seconds
Cinephobe Ep 110: Sister Act 2: Back in the Habit
Zach, Amin and Mayes are second to nun as they close out Whoopi Goldberg month with some joyful joy. When an administrator on the brink of retirement threatens to shut down the podcast and turn it into a parking lot, only one thing can change his mind: winning the all state podcast competition.
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Email: [email protected]
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11/24/2021 • 1 hour, 51 minutes, 56 seconds
Cinephobe Ep 109: National Lampoon's Loaded Weapon 1
Zach, Amin and Mayes are putting cocaine in the cookies for a podcast that exudes a beautiful simplicity, savage, ruthless, existing only to devour and destroy, to taste blood, to rend flesh. It will be your worst nightmare unless you give us the meecrofilme, but if it's tingling, that means it's working.
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Zach Harper @talkhoops IG: @talkhoops
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Email: [email protected]
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11/17/2021 • 1 hour, 46 minutes, 45 seconds
Cinephobe Ep 108: Homie Spumoni
Zach, Amin and Mayes travel to Italy after winning a contest to name a chicken sandwich, where through a series of events they drop their podcast in a basket and it floats away down the river. Years later, their podcast has been raised Italian, having never known its true heritage. Mamma Mia! Will Homie Spumoni discover his roots in time for the hospital talent show?
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Email: [email protected]
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11/10/2021 • 2 hours, 1 minute, 59 seconds
Cinephobe Ep 107: Eddie
Zach, Amin and Mayes have been selected as honorary podcasters for the struggling New York Knicks. After quickly assessing the core personal issue plaguing each individual member of the team and solving them one at a time, it all comes down to the last game of the season to decide who becomes the 8 seed in the playoffs. This movie invented the play in game. BING BONG!
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Zach Harper @talkhoops IG: @talkhoops
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Email: [email protected]
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11/3/2021 • 1 hour, 55 minutes, 42 seconds
Cinephobe Halloween Spooktacular: Leprechaun in the Hood (with Brad Williams)
Zach, Amin and Mayes are joined by comedian Brad Williams on their quest to reach the Las Vegas Hip Hop Café. The Leprechaun is eerily comfortable in the hood, smoking the bombest weed, banging the flyest zombie fly girls, and murdering anyone in his path before spitting bars (o'gold) over dope beats. Is there pussy in heaven?
Follow Brad: @funnybrad IG: @bradwilliamscomic Website: https://www.bradwilliamscomedy.com/
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CTD @countthedings IG: @countthedings
Email: [email protected]
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10/31/2021 • 2 hours, 8 minutes, 2 seconds
Cinephobe Ep 106: American Ninja
Zach, Amin and Mayes are amnesiacs with troubled pasts and very particular sets of skills, having trained with a master in the art of podjitsu. Their skills are put to the test when they become embroiled in army corruption involving an arms dealer who just happens to have a world class ninja facility on his compound.
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Zach Harper @talkhoops IG: @talkhoops
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CTD @countthedings IG: @countthedings
Email: [email protected]
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10/27/2021 • 2 hours, 3 minutes, 2 seconds
Cinephobe Ep 105: Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles II: The Secret of the Ooze
WHOA! PRIMO PODCAST DUDES! Zach, Amin and Mayes are just a couple of mutagenic podcasters with different colored bandanas that love pizza. So hold your canister of ooze up high in the air, give me 10 flips and repeat after me: GO NINJA GO NINJA GO!
Vote in this month's poll
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Email: [email protected]
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10/20/2021 • 1 hour, 52 minutes, 46 seconds
Cinephobe Ep 104: Bloodsport
Zach, Amin and Mayes are headed back to Hong Kong for a secret contest where the world's greatest podcasters fight in a battle to the death. From the longest flashback in the history of Cinephobe to a bevy of roundhouse kicks, uppercuts, sleeper holds and bloody faces, this episode sets multiple world records, including fastest Phile at 72 mph.
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Email us: [email protected]
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10/13/2021 • 2 hours, 2 minutes, 50 seconds
Cinephobe Ep 103.5: Road House Addendum (with Stugotz)
Zach, Amin and Mayes are back at the Road House for the triumphant return of Stugotz from The Dan Le Batard Show with Stugotz, who rides into town to mentor us on the key components of classic cinema, action packaged around a love story with all the elements necessary for a complete movie going experience. Amin phobed this movie.
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10/8/2021 • 1 hour, 4 minutes, 10 seconds
Cinephobe Ep 103: Road House
Zach, Amin and Mayes are the best damn podcasters in the business, and they've been hired to clean up the kinda podcast where they sweep up the eyeballs after recording. Equipped with nothing but degrees in philosophy and dossiers full of exposition, they'll tangle with local big shots, flirt with hot doctors, and reconnect with old mentors set to the sonic stylings of a blind guitarist.
What up Cinephobiacs!
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Email: [email protected]
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10/6/2021 • 2 hours, 8 minutes, 56 seconds
Cinephobe Ep 102: Gallowwalkers
Zach, Amin and Mayes rise from the dead to roam the desert, seeking vengeance on the men that desecrated the woman they loved. Not even the sisters of San Diablo, the townsfolk of Enoch's Hammer, or a young hero named Fabolous are safe in this bloody romp. Ever wondered what movie Wesley Snipes was making when he was accused of tax fraud? This is the one.
What up Cinephobiacs!
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Email: [email protected]
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9/29/2021 • 1 hour, 33 minutes, 21 seconds
Cinephobe Ep 101: Blade Trinity (with JuJu Gotti)
Zach, Amin, Mayes and repeat offender JuJu Gotti are members of a sleeper cell of Nightstalkers that keep the world safe from vampires. Blade will need their help as he faces his greatest challenge yet: An indie film actress, professional wrestler and Canadian rapper united to form an unholy triumvirate that want to turn the human race into a farm of vacuum sealed blood batteries.
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9/22/2021 • 2 hours, 9 minutes, 38 seconds
Cinephobe Ep 100: Howard the Duck
Zach, Amin and Mayes are sucked up into the sky out of Duckworld only to land smack dab in the middle of Cleve Land. This diminutive duck isn't afraid to ruffle a few feathers as he meets a girl and tries to get a job, but when intergalactic demons follow him to Earth it's up to the farfetched fowl and his quack team to save the day.
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9/15/2021 • 1 hour, 51 minutes, 32 seconds
Cinephobe Ep 99: Passenger 57 (with Roy Bellamy)
Zach, Amin, and Mayes are joined by repeat offender Roy Bellamy, producer of the Dan LeBatard Show with Stugotz, on a cross country flight that has been commandeered by the international terrorist known as the Rane of Terror. Other passengers include a bowl cutted kid who forgot his decorder ring, a grandma that loves the Arsenio Hall show, and security specialist haunted by the death of his wife. Only one of them can save the day, so let me give you some advice: Always Bet on Black.
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9/8/2021 • 1 hour, 53 minutes, 21 seconds
Cinephobe Ep 98: Futuresport
Zach, Amin and Mayes fast forward to 2025, when all memories of Covid have been erased by the new sensation charting to the top of the Popularity Index, FUTURESPORT! This cutting edge game combines hoverboards, useless goalies, hockey pads, quidditch, the electric chair and tubas into one fast paced, high scoring game that is so impactful, the fate of Hawaii hangs in the balance.
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9/1/2021 • 1 hour, 40 minutes, 2 seconds
Cinephobe Ep 97: Cocktail - Part 2 (with Mike Ryan)
Zach, Amin, Mayes and Mike are headed to Jamaica in the thrilling conclusion to the epic bartending bromance. Complications abound as young Flanagan falls in love and Coughlin discovers that marrying for money doesn't stop fancy bars from being a money pit. Meet us for happy hour at Cocktails & Dreams.
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8/27/2021 • 1 hour, 27 seconds
Cinephobe Ep 97: Cocktail - Part 1 (with Mike Ryan)
Zach, Amin and Mayes are ripping it up at TGI Fridays with the help of their very own Cuba Libre, the Le Batard & Friends Network Executive Producer Mike Ryan! Part 1 of this podcast tracks Tom Cruise's meteoric rise through the NYC cocktail scene, flippin' bottles and flingin' ice cubes behind three feet of mahogany while his Australian mentor spouts misogynistic and alcoholic nonsensical life advice.
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8/25/2021 • 1 hour, 22 minutes
Cinephobe Ep 96: What Happens In Vegas
Zach, Amin and Mayes woke up married and are under court order to record together for six months. Whether you make a plan to make plans or aren't serious boyfriend/husband material, are a Chonger or a Banger, take a trip to the podcast where you can forget all your troubles and act like a total idiot. What happens here, stays here.
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8/18/2021 • 1 hour, 51 minutes, 36 seconds
Cinephobe Mailbag: Pure Americana
Zach and Mayes answer a bunch of user questions about favorite and least favorite episodes, how they would fix previous Cinephobes and make them good movies, which characters they want to exist in real life and so much more. Also Cinephobiacs Julian and Mike join the show to talk about their experiences listening to the show.
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8/13/2021 • 1 hour, 17 minutes, 43 seconds
Cinephobe Ep 95: What Men Want
Zach, Amin and Mayes have suffered concussive head trauma, waking up up with the ability to read men's minds. Haven't you always wondered what men were really thinking? Thankfully this movie is here to tell you that men think about sex, money, sex, sports, sex, how to pronounce croissant, sex, and the Piña Colada song. We made this bespoke podcast specifically for you.
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8/11/2021 • 1 hour, 58 minutes, 27 seconds
Cinephobe Ep 94: Saving Silverman
Zach, Amin and Mayes are Diamonds in the Rough in this turn of the 20CB bromantic comedy. Complete with a killer soundtrack, copious Neil Diamond references and flashback exposition, this movie teaches us that whether your field is psychology or pest control, at the end of the day you're just helping people. CMONNAYEHHHHH-HAAAA!
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8/4/2021 • 1 hour, 38 minutes, 45 seconds
Cinephobe Ep 93: The Poison Rose
Zach, Amin and Mayes close out Travolta month with a classic film noir full of deception, intrigue, exposition and clichés. A private investigator is dragged back to his hometown of Galveston by a beautiful woman with a sob story, where he finds that everyone he knows has become influential and dangerous. Beware the roses, they're poisonous.
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7/28/2021 • 1 hour, 34 minutes, 40 seconds
Cinephobe Ep 92: Look Who's Talking Too
Zach, Amin and Mayes are pregnant AGAIN in this sequel released barely a year after the first one and was certainly not a cash grab, in case anyone's asking. If you've ever used your screaming children to get free stuff or convinced them that Mr. Toilet Man wants to eat your pee pee, then this movie about the struggles of co-parenting and keeping it fresh in your marriage is for you. Elvis is leaving the Podcast.
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7/21/2021 • 1 hour, 33 minutes, 59 seconds
Cinephobe Ep 91: Staying Alive
Zach, Amin and Mayes are struttin the streets of New York in this perplexing follow up to John Travolta's breakout role in Saturday Night Fever as dancing sex god Tony Manero. Tony won't let anything get in the way of his dream of Broadway fame, not objectification from women, his dingy residence, dismissive agents, his own psychosis or Frank Stallone.
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7/14/2021 • 1 hour, 54 minutes, 50 seconds
Cinephobe Ep 90: Killing Season
Zach, Amin and Mayes are heading out to the woods for the purest, most distilled form of war: one on one. Sharpen your knife, string your bow, and slam the Jagermeister, it's time to hunt the most dangerous game of all: Bosnian John Travolta.
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7/7/2021 • 1 hour, 32 minutes, 55 seconds
Cinephobe Ep 89: Blankman
Zach, Amin and Mayes don't need a permit to podcast about Superhero movies as they close out June with this pick selected by the fans. In order to save the city, they'll deliver babies, build a lair out of repurposed appliances, and take down satin suited mobsters infiltrating the government. Thankfully, this podcast is Bulletproof, otherwise they'd be in Major Payne.
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6/30/2021 • 1 hour, 54 minutes, 48 seconds
Cinephobe Ep 88: Nick Fury: Agent of S.H.I.E.L.D.
Zach, Amin and Mayes have been off in the Yukon swingin' pickaxes and chainsmokin' cigarillos enjoying an early retirement, but when Hydra rises again they are forced to suit up and podcast once more.
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6/23/2021 • 1 hour, 23 minutes, 30 seconds
Cinephobe Ep 87: The League of Extraordinary Gentlemen
Zach, Amin and Mayes have been recruited into the League of Expository Podcasters for this turn of the century dieselpunk superhero romp. Whether you're invincible, invisible, a blood thirsty vampire or just keeping the demons inside of you at bay, board the Nautilus and see just how deep we can dive into the depths of terrible movies before we never come back up.
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6/16/2021 • 1 hour, 35 minutes, 16 seconds
Cinephobe Ep 86: Ghost Rider: Spirit of Vengeance
Zach, Amin and Mayes are breaking out the 2,000 year old bottles of wine and french accents for the first sequel in Cinephobe history where we actually watched the original first. The boys are back in the Cage to team up with a black french alcoholic priest that's kind of a dick to help the devil's baby mama save her son.
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6/9/2021 • 1 hour, 18 minutes, 11 seconds
Cinephobe LIVE on Freedumb (with Method Man, Adam McKay and Neal Brennan)
Zach and Amin's segment from last weekend's LeBatard Show 24 hour live stream marathon. First they interviewed Method Man about How High and more, then Adam McKay and Neal Brennan chatted about politics and comedy, while occasionally discussing the 2009 film The Goods: Live Hard, Sell Hard with the guys.
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6/9/2021 • 2 hours, 19 minutes, 55 seconds
Cinephobe Ep 85.5: Daredevil Appeal (with Erin Darling)
Zach, Amin and Mayes are joined by comedian Erin Darling Torralva to discuss blind dating (dating actual blind people), comic con culture, romantic rooftops and orphans to see if Justice really is Blind after all.
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6/4/2021 • 52 minutes, 54 seconds
Cinephobe Ep 85: Daredevil
Zach, Amin and Mayes are the finest blind podcasters in Hell's Kitchen. They'll tangle with an accurate irishman employed by a burly businessman and find love on a see saw along the way. Also there's a whole director's cut featuring Coolio! Justice is blind, but it can be heard.
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6/2/2021 • 1 hour, 49 minutes, 32 seconds
Cinephobe Ep 84.5: More Reindeer Games (with Valerie Le Batard)
Zach, Amin and Mayes are joined once again by the Draft Queen Valerie Le Batard to play darts and work out our glamour muscles while planning the greatest Christmas heist in movie history.
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5/28/2021 • 1 hour, 2 minutes, 59 seconds
Cinephobe Ep 84: Reindeer Games
Zach, Amin and Mayes are fresh out of the joint and headed straight to a casino for the heist of the holiday season. Grab your goddamn hot chocolate and some pecan fuckin pie, raid the mini bar, order some pay per views and listen to the only podcast that has both Coke AND Pepsi.
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5/26/2021 • 1 hour, 22 minutes, 4 seconds
Cinephobe Ep 83: Batman v Superman: Dawn of Justice
Zach, Amin and Mayes continue to search for the kryptonite that will weaken this podcast enough to kill it. This foray into the Snyderverse may well be our Doomsday, so grab your mason jar of granny's peach tea, jump in the bath fully clothed, and settle in for the ultimate edition of this podcast. Am I too soon?
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5/19/2021 • 2 hours, 2 minutes
Cinephobe Ep 82: Armageddon
Zach, Amin and Mayes are deep core podcasters charged with blowing up an asteroid the size of Texas before it destroys the Earth. They'll have to overcome an unhinged Russian cosmonaut, Space Dementia, a sentient growling asteroid, Explosition and Ben Affleck to complete their mission before the countdown clock runs out. Baysplode!
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5/12/2021 • 1 hour, 50 minutes, 29 seconds
Cinephobe Ep 81: Smokin' Aces
Zach, Amin and Mayes are podcast assassins after Jeremy Piven's heart for the punchline of $1 million. It's a death race to the penthouse of a Lake Tahoe hotel, where coke addicted magician Buddy 'Aces' Israel is waiting to get smoked. Will anyone make it out of the elevator alive?
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5/5/2021 • 1 hour, 40 minutes, 15 seconds
Cinephobe Ep 80.5: Disclosure Addendum (with Valerie Le Batard)
Zach, Amin and Mayes are joined by the Draft Queen Valerie Le Batard on her birthday to review the exhibits and pass final judgment on the landmark sexual harassment case between Michael Douglas and Demi Moore.
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4/30/2021 • 48 minutes, 55 seconds
Cinephobe Ep 80: Disclosure
Zach, Amin and Mayes were expecting a promotion in the wake of an impending merger, but are passed over for an old flame looking to rekindle their explosive relationship. Will they resist temptation and remain faithful, or succumb to their patriarchal urges and exercise their dominance, destroying their families in the process? We can't disclose the outcome, listen to this podcast recorded on a random answering machine to find out.
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4/28/2021 • 1 hour, 54 minutes, 35 seconds
Cinephobe Ep 79.5: Mortal Kombat Annihilation (with Mike Ryan)
Zach, Amin and Mayes strike back just in time for the release of the new Mortal Kombat reboot, bringing in Mike Ryan, Executive Producer of The LeBatard Show with Stugotz to unlock fatalities. Half the actors are different, the special effects are more like conventional effects, the costumes come from the bargain bin and it's only a ninety minute movie, but somehow we spent over two hours breaking it down.
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4/23/2021 • 1 hour, 51 minutes, 54 seconds
Cinephobe Ep 79: Hook
Zach, Amin and Mayes sprinkle themselves with pixie dust for the flight back to Neverland, where the food is imaginary but the stakes have never been higher. Captain Hook is having an identity crisis, Peter Pan is an absentee father, Tinkerbell has been harboring obsessive feelings for nearly a century and Rufio is the first emo kid ever. This podcast can fly, fight and crow. Bangarang!
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4/21/2021 • 1 hour, 58 minutes, 29 seconds
Cinephobe Ep 78: Envy
Zach, Amin and Mayes are back with a revolutionary new invention: Va-Pod-Rize, the podcast that makes all other podcasts disappear. Whether you dream of running for the little congress, finishing every meal with delicious flan, or building the white house in your cul de sac, c'est la vie, as the Romans say.
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4/14/2021 • 1 hour, 20 minutes, 43 seconds
Cinephobe Ep 77: Anaconda
Zach, Amin and Mayes are failed Paraguayan priests who have found a new calling: podcasting about snakes. In their quest to find the lost Shirishama tribe along the Amazon river, they must survive poisonousss waspsss, urethral catfish, jungle horniness and gigantic spring loaded anacondas. Five Whiskeys? That's breakfast on the river.
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4/7/2021 • 1 hour, 27 minutes, 52 seconds
Cinephobe Ep 76: Hercules in New York
Zach, Amin and Mayes are running barefoot through Times Square to catch your chariot and deliver this podcast. Hercules leaves Mount Olympus for Spring Break and hits the town with the help of a humble pretzel salesman. We close out Arnold month with Arnold's first movie ever to show just how far his accent has come, and boy is Arnold a comer.
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3/31/2021 • 1 hour, 34 minutes, 55 seconds
Cinephobe Ep 75: Batman & Robin - Part 2
Zach, Amin and Mayes return to Gotham City to find out if the Iceman really cometh after all. Will Poison Ivy push the Green New Deal through congress? Can Batgirl crack Alfred's three letter password? Is Bane capable of stringing a sentence together? What song sent Amin down a youtube rabbit hole? The answers to all those questions and more in the thrilling conclusion to this two parter.
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3/24/2021 • 1 hour, 13 minutes, 53 seconds
Cinephobe Ep 75: Batman & Robin - Part 1
Zach, Amin and Mayes are rubbing ice cubes on their bat nipples to prepare for the onslaught of ice puns unleashed by Arnold as Dr. Victor Fries terrorizes Gotham. This movie put the Batman Franchise into cryogenic sleep for 8 years until Christopher Nolan found the cure for Schumacher Syndrome. Assemble your own Un-United Nations and hit Bane's turbo button, you've only got eleven minutes to thaw this podcast and listen before it's frozen forever.
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3/17/2021 • 1 hour, 14 minutes, 38 seconds
Cinephobe Ep 74: Eraser (with JuJu Gotti)
Zach, Amin, Mayes and special guest JuJu Gotti usually work alone, but they've burned their credit cards and random baby photos in order to record this episode incognito. Arnold month continues with this movie overflowing with outrageous stunts, James Caan's smugness, light speed bullets and voracious luggage. Hurry up and listen to this podcast before it gets Erased.
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3/10/2021 • 1 hour, 56 minutes, 48 seconds
Cinephobe Ep 73: Twins
Zach, Amin and Mayes discover they were created by a top secret experiment designed to produce physically, spiritually, and mentally advanced podcasters. Once united, they complement each other perfectly and take a road trip to Texas, while losing their virginity, buying matching suits and stalking their long lost mother along the way.
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3/3/2021 • 1 hour, 41 minutes, 41 seconds
Cinephobe Ep 72: Action Jackson
Zach, Amin and Mayes are back in the eighties with Detroit's favorite son, Jericho "Action" Jackson, a former track star with a Harvard Law Degree, and boy does he live up to his name in this one. This movie has everything: Banter, sleazy bad guys doing kung fu, naked pop stars on heroin, ninja assassins, ridiculous explosions and auto union conspiracy. This is a Cinephobe you don't want to miss.
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2/24/2021 • 1 hour, 42 minutes, 46 seconds
Cinephobe Ep 71: How High
Zach, Amin and Mayes are back at Harvard after acing their THCs thanks to help of the Ghost of Exposition present. They'll tangle with uptight Dean Cain, dirty mack on Bart Dooster's girl and bring hookers to the dorms, all while putting the finishing touches on a botany project that will benefit mankind. Now go warm me up some Pork Chops O’Chunky.
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2/17/2021 • 1 hour, 33 minutes, 56 seconds
Cinephobe Ep 70: Soul Man
Black History Month continues on Cinephobe as Zach, Amin and Mayes take their cutting edge tanning pills and head to Harvard Law School on the Henry Q Bouchard scholarship to learn that it's not so easy being black after all. You can really feel 400 years of oppression in every single frame of this movie.
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2/10/2021 • 1 hour, 41 minutes, 18 seconds
Cinephobe Ep 69: Money Talks (with Josiah Johnson)
Cinephobe kicks off Black History Month with this archival footage of Chris Tucker in his prime. Josiah Johnson the meme king joins Zach, Amin and Mayes to sing Vic Damone's greatest hits, kick it with Sammy Davis Jr. Jr. , and disguise Barry White lyrics as wedding toasts.
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2/3/2021 • 1 hour, 31 minutes, 52 seconds
Cinephobe Ep 68: Gone in 60 Seconds (with Nando Vila)
Zach, Amin and Mayes come out of retirement to assemble the crew for one last job, bringing in Woke Bro Nando Vila to help steal 50 cars in one night. Cage month comes to a close in this car caper released just ahead of The Fast and the Furious in the year 2000. Can Nic save his brother from a vindictive carpenter? Can Amin finish a movie longer than 90 minutes? You'll have to listen to find out.
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1/27/2021 • 1 hour, 44 minutes, 25 seconds
Cinephobe Ep 67: Kiss of Death
Grab your inhaler and head down to Babycakes strip club as Nic Cage month continues here on Cinephobe. What doesn't kill Zach, Amin and Mayes makes them stronger, they'll live free or die, and if you fuck with the bull you get the horns, so put on your poncho and blast that House of Pain CD, it's time to clean up your own backyard.
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1/20/2021 • 1 hour, 33 minutes, 42 seconds
Cinephobe Ep 66: Snake Eyes
Zach, Amin and Mayes were made for this sewer and they are the kings. Cage Month rolls along with this 1998 thriller about conspiracy, a blind goody two shoes, political assassination, a married man and heavyweight boxing. Put your gold flip phone on silent and believe everything except your ears, because listening is deceiving.
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1/13/2021 • 1 hour, 30 minutes, 31 seconds
Cinephobe Ep 65: Jiu Jitsu (with Pablo Torre)
Zach, Amin and Mayes are joined by Pablo Torre to square off one at a time with the ancient alien Brax, who has so much respect for the art of Jiu Jitsu that he never even dares to use it. Put on your paper hat and spit roast your finest fish, it's time to kick off Nicolas Cage month in style.
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1/6/2021 • 1 hour, 39 minutes, 18 seconds
Cinephobe Ep 64: Troll 2
Zach, Amin and Mayes close out the year by swapping houses with hospitable Utah peasants in the town of Nilbog. They'd rather be drinking Mountain Dew with their boys at the RV bordello, but all they've got is room temperature Nilbog milk. Be on the lookout for unattached girls, but whatever you do, don't eat the food.
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12/30/2020 • 1 hour, 35 minutes, 7 seconds
Cinephobe Ep 63: Money Plane
You wanna listen to three podcasters on the verge of pissing themselves discuss a movie held together by terrible exposition and scotch tape? Money Plane.
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12/23/2020 • 1 hour, 34 minutes, 48 seconds
Cinephobe Ep 62: Money Train - Part 2 (with Roy Bellamy)
Zach, Amin, Mayes and Roy are back on the Money Train to tangle ass with the transit twins, punch J Lo in the face and then bang her, get pick pocketed by an old lady and start a fire by striking gasoline with a metal pipe. We bled the breaks so this podcast won't stop until it reaches the end of the line.
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12/16/2020 • 56 minutes, 24 seconds
Cinephobe Ep 62: Money Train - Part 1 (with Roy Bellamy)
Zach, Amin, Mayes and special guest Roy Bellamy board the Money Train and travel back to a simpler time, when the NY MTA was raking in millions of dollars of cold hard cash a day. It doesn't matter if there are people on the tracks, this train doesn't stop for anything! Give us some money so we can buy you a Christmas present, we definitely won't blow it immediately in a card game.
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12/9/2020 • 57 minutes, 1 second
Cinephobe Ep 61: Last Action Hero
Zach, Amin and Mayes have obtained possession of Harry Houdini's magical golden ticket and use it to enjoy all of the glorious fruits this movie has to offer: Product placement, over the top explosions, shouting lieutenants, monologuing villains and freshmen named Skeezy. Where does the parody end and the movie begin?
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12/2/2020 • 1 hour, 35 minutes, 23 seconds
Cinephobe Ep 60: The Fan
Zach, Amin and Mayes coulda made it to the bigs if only they had mastered the sacrifice fly (the most beautiful play in the game). Just like unemployed knife salesman Gil Renard, they want some respect, and they'll leave their own kids behind at opening day and follow you into a sauna if that's what it takes to get it.
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11/25/2020 • 1 hour, 52 minutes, 35 seconds
Cinephobe Ep 59: Drillbit Taylor
Zach, Amin and Mayes are being relentlessly bullied (by each other), so they've posted an ad in search of a bodyguard. A homeless Owen Wilson comes to the rescue (wow!) to teach a trio of nerds self defense, steal their shit and bang their teacher. Just don't touch the dumpster at Ocean and Wilshire, that's his.
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11/18/2020 • 1 hour, 22 minutes, 29 seconds
Cinephobe Ep 58: CATS
Welcome to Cinephobe! The jellicle podcast for jellicle podcats you should definitely be afraid to admit you love. Whether you're a washed up glamour cat like Grizabella, or a dissatisfied curious cat like Rum Tum Tugger, join us in a choreographed dance under the jellicle moon and see if you reach the Heavyside Layer. Jellicle.
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11/11/2020 • 1 hour, 6 minutes, 48 seconds
Cinephobe Ep 57: That's My Boy
Zach, Amin and Mayes are reunited with their estranged father just in time for a beautiful waterfront wedding as the Sandler wars rage on. Help yourself to the strip club omelette bar and pull a Bud Heavy out of your loose sock, because Champale is up next and her vagina counts as double.
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11/5/2020 • 1 hour, 7 minutes, 32 seconds
Cinephobe Ep 56: Deuce Bigalow: European Gigolo
News Headline! Cinephobe's finest prosti-dudes are Amsterdam bound for an all you can eat buffet of Portugese Breakfasts and Turkish Snow Cones. Zach, Amin and Mayes had to get 5 different colored tulips, eat two herring and drink a beer from a wooden shoe before they could record this podcast.
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10/28/2020 • 1 hour, 25 minutes, 15 seconds
Cinephobe Ep 55: Johnny Be Good
Fresh off a dominant performance in the championship game, Zach, Amin and Mayes find themselves subsumed by recruiters who all want a piece of the latest Cinephobe. Whether playing 3 on 3 football against the cops, or flirting with a young Uma Thurman, one thing's for sure: Johnny Got Game.
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10/21/2020 • 1 hour, 35 minutes, 12 seconds
Cinephobe Ep 54: Grown Ups 2
The Rental Wars wage on as Zach, Amin and Mayes dress up like their favorite 80s character and groove to the J Geils Band (sans J Geils). Bring your survival fanny pack and avoid the frat boys because it's getting rough out here.
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10/14/2020 • 1 hour, 21 minutes, 26 seconds
Cinephobe Ep 53: R.I.P.D.
Zach, Amin and Mayes are frosty and huntin for Deados in this afterlife romp that takes place over the course of 3 or 4 days. Whether your carcass was picked apart by coyotes, or you're trying to reconnect with your French wife while disguised as James Hong, snort a bump of cumin and buckle up.
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10/7/2020 • 1 hour, 23 minutes, 18 seconds
Cinephobe Ep 52: The Lawnmower Man Part 2
Zach, Amin and Mayes' minds are like clean, hungry sponges as they strap into the Gyrosphere and overdose on nootropic drugs before projecting this podcast into the mainframe and becoming Cyber Christs.
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9/30/2020 • 46 minutes, 41 seconds
Cinephobe Ep 52: The Lawnmower Man Part 1
Zach, Amin and Mayes aren't into reality reality, they're into virtual reality with this 1992 film that's not legally allowed to connect itself to the Stephen King short story. Fill up your gas can and crank up the sexual tension for another epic 2-part Cinephobe spectacular.
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9/23/2020 • 1 hour, 5 minutes, 25 seconds
Cinephobe Ep 51: Mom and Dad
Zach, Amin and Mayes are back in the Cage for this nuanced action horror dark comedy that uses its conceit to peel back the layers of being a washed parent in modern society. Whether you get your news from a portable dvd player or prefer concentrated ethological exposition from Dr Oz while you hit the bong, this is the movie for you.
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9/22/2020 • 1 hour, 20 minutes, 52 seconds
Cinephobe Ep 50: The Break-Up
Breaking up is hard to do, just ask the recently rekindled Cinephobe crew. Zach Harper, Amin Elhassan and Anthony Mayes are a couple of podcasters that don't have a goddamn future, and they're taking over by air, land and sea. Just promise us you're not gonna do anything.
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9/9/2020 • 1 hour, 16 minutes, 2 seconds
Cinephobe Ep 49: Wet Hot American Summer
After Amin's dramatic exit from the show, Zach and Mayes pack their bags for the 2001 summer camp comedy cult classic that features horny summer love, lots of unlikely therapy, and all the other quintessential experiences Camp Firewood has to offer.
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9/5/2020 • 1 hour, 23 minutes, 4 seconds
Cinephobe Ep 48: After Earth
Zach, Amin and Mayes return to the quarantine zone for the 2013 sci-fi thriller that teaches us important lessons about parenthood and the dangers of environmental exploitation. Make sure you've got your go pro backpack, cutlass and horrific futuristic accent secured for this 100 km podcast journey.
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8/27/2020 • 1 hour, 15 minutes, 29 seconds
Cinephobe Ep 47: Movie 43
Zach, Amin and Mayes scour the dark web to find the elusive, offensive "film" crudely assembled from various writers, directors and actors and sewn together like a sketch movie Frankenstein. Stop fingering your iBabe for a minute and listen. (Movies 1-42 are not prerequisite viewing for this podcast)
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8/19/2020 • 1 hour, 21 minutes, 29 seconds
Cinephobe Ep 46: Takers
Zach, Amin and Mayes suit up and shoot the moon for this 2010 heist movie loaded with emotional baggage. You have to wait at least a year between jobs so the heat cools off, but you don't have to wait more than a week for another spectacular episode of Cinephobe.
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8/12/2020 • 1 hour, 21 minutes, 39 seconds
Cinephobe Ep 45: Catwoman
Zach, Amin and Mayes take a trip to CGI city for the 2004 female empowerment saga that put Halle Berry in a leather body suit to find her true calling. Another one name director (Pitof), another Cinephobe classic.
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8/5/2020 • 1 hour, 34 minutes, 59 seconds
Cinephobe Ep 44: A Million Ways to Die in the West
Zach, Amin and Mayes take a trip to the moustachery in this 2014 comedy that everyone agrees isn't as good as Blazing Saddles (one of the foremost classic comedies of all time). This movie takes several pages out of Amin's dream journal and if you listen, we'll show you a real dollar bill for the first time in your life.
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7/29/2020 • 1 hour, 20 minutes, 45 seconds
Cinephobe Ep 43: The Adventures of Pluto Nash
Zach, Amin and Mayes blast off for the 2002 futuristic moon caper comedy starring Eddie Murphy as a legendary rill hopper. Pluto is just your run of the mill ex con small business owner battling gentrification by local government in bed with corrupt capitalist casinos all while crusading for android rights.
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7/22/2020 • 1 hour, 21 minutes, 1 second
Cinephobe Ep 42: Ghost Rider Part 2
Zach, Amin and Mayes are the only ones that can walk between both worlds and have returned with the scroll of San Venganza to finish off Blackheart and his elemental demons once and for all. Listen closely as Amin's soul gradually leaves his body down the stretch.
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7/15/2020 • 55 minutes, 37 seconds
Cinephobe Ep 42: Ghost Rider Part 1
Zach, Amin and Mayes are back in the Cage yet again having sold their souls for this 2007 film that launched the Marvel Cinematic Universe. Fill your martini glass with jelly beans and blast the Carpenters, we're jumping five blackhawk helicopters cuz our dad thought it would be cool.
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7/8/2020 • 1 hour, 4 minutes, 48 seconds
Cinephobe Ep 41: Tango & Cash (with Stugotz)
Zach, Amin and Mayes hit the showers for this 1989 buddy cop classic and are joined by Cinephobe's first guest, Stugotz of The Dan Le Batard Show with Stugotz. We make billion dollar drug busts and margin calls while nattily attired in three piece Armani suits before making a prison break in the pouring rain. Listen to learn why Stugotz has this movie in his top 5 of all time.
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7/1/2020 • 1 hour, 38 minutes, 19 seconds
Cinephobe Ep 40: Along Came Polly
Zach, Amin and Mayes are for scuba in this romantic comedy as a risk averse Ben Stiller tackles dating advice, ethnic food, blind ferrets, throw pillows, and horrendous pick up basketball in his pursuit of Jennifer Aniston. Yes, this is the podcast from crocodile tears.
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6/29/2020 • 1 hour, 13 minutes, 19 seconds
Cinephobe Ep 39: I Am Wrath
Zach, Amin and Mayes travel to Columbus, Ohio for a gritty, hard hitting, action movie starring Cinephobe Legend John Travolta. Pitbull's best friend is slamming Cleveland Reserve bourbon, picking up smoking again, getting tattoos, and reconnecting with his old partner to seek vengeance because the bible told him to, or something.
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6/29/2020 • 1 hour, 21 minutes, 4 seconds
Cinephobe Ep 38: Teen Witch
Zach, Amin and Mayes double dip with another horny 80s teen supernatural comedy. An alleged cult classic (?) that features dick soliloquies, barbershop rap groups, predatory psychics, mysterious disappearances and a little brother with an undiagnosed eating disorder leads to yet another unforgettable podcast.
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6/29/2020 • 1 hour, 16 minutes, 57 seconds
Cinephobe Ep 37: Teen Wolf Too
Zach, Amin and Mayes throw in the proverbial towel with the horniest Cinephobe movie to date. Jason Bateman's debut comes in a classic coming of age college romp, complete with Trans Am Douchebags, southern temptresses, and flying bowls of pudding. This podcast is a dog.
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6/29/2020 • 1 hour, 15 minutes, 18 seconds
Cinephobe Ep 36: Ballistic: Ecks vs. Sever
The movie they didn't want us to see led to the podcast you just can't miss. Zach, Amin and Mayes take a jaunt north of the border to scenic Vancouver, leisurely ride around on motorcycles, take an impromptu trip to the aquarium, and blow up the entire train depot in pursuit of a missing child who holds the key to important nano technology.
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6/29/2020 • 1 hour, 19 minutes, 34 seconds
Cinephobe Ep 35: Cop Out
Zach, Amin and Mayes turn in their guns and badges for another odd couple cop comedy that serves as indie darling Kevin Smith's first and only sell out. Bruce Willis and Tracy Morgan encounter a mastermind child car thief, a baseball obsessed drug dealer, and a parkour expert who dabbles in tasering, all while suspended, in order to pay for Bruce's daughter's wedding.
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6/26/2020 • 1 hour, 10 minutes, 40 seconds
Cinephobe Ep 34: Coffee & Kareem
Zach, Amin and Mayes unite to discuss the odd couple partnership between a foul mouthed youth and a piece of Wonderbread in a cop's uniform, but still find plenty of time to tackle important subjects like Octavia Spencer's career and Richard Gere's fertility. (Neither Spencer nor Gere appear in this movie)
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6/26/2020 • 1 hour, 10 minutes, 14 seconds
Cinephobe Ep 33: Scary Movie 3
Zach, Amin and Mayes open a time capsule chock full of very specific references from 2003 disguised as a parody film. We tackle semantic arguments, when a reference is just straight up theft, and announce the top 5 worst child actors in Cinephobe history.
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6/26/2020 • 1 hour, 8 minutes, 31 seconds
Cinephobe Ep 32: Primal
Zach, Amin and Mayes get back in the Cage, quite literally this time, as they take an elusive white jaguar back to America in the hopes of turning it into a house on Pine Lake. Dumb kids, baby monkeys and scurvy engineers might try to stop us, but they'll never take our whiskey and cigars.
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6/26/2020 • 1 hour, 14 minutes, 13 seconds
Cinephobe Ep 31: Hall Pass
Zach, Amin and Mayes are given an idea by Joy Behar to take one week off from their marriage to truly awful movies. They learned club analysis from Coakley, ate Gary's special brownies, and entertained Hog Head's hypotheticals, but in the end they returned to Cinephobe changed men.
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6/26/2020 • 1 hour, 20 minutes, 33 seconds
Cinephobe Ep 30: Spenser Confidential
Zach, Amin and Mayes have just been released from prison after 5 years and despite people telling them not to, they just can't help but review this Mark Wahlberg / Peter Berg movie. Spoiler Alert: This movie is set in Boston.
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6/25/2020 • 1 hour, 25 minutes, 15 seconds
Cinephobe April Fools: The Departed
This week on Cinephile, Adnan revisits the film that finally earned Martin Scorcese his elusive academy award for directing. Does the electric ensemble cast present a strong enough argument to join Marty's Mount Rushmore? You'll have to listen to find out.
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6/25/2020 • 1 hour, 11 minutes, 27 seconds
Cinephobe Ep 29: Double Impact Part 2
Zach, Amin and Mayes return to Hong Kong for the thrilling conclusion of Double Impact. That's right, there's two of them, so put down that bottle of whiskey, just chill out and listen.
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6/25/2020 • 54 minutes, 15 seconds
Cinephobe Ep 29: Double Impact Part 1
Zach, Amin and Mayes are welcomed to Hong Kong with the 1991 action classic starring the Muscles from Brussels himself twin brothers seeking revenge on the men that killed their parents. They have the same accent but one of them only wears pastels and the other never puts out his cigar, so that's how you know they're different.
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6/25/2020 • 55 minutes, 8 seconds
Cinephobe Ep 28: Problem Child
Zach, Amin and Mayes navigate the anti liberal mishegas and overt sexuality of this 1990 kids movie smash hit. We discuss little league play by play announcers, the magical talents of John Ritter, and Amin still wants to do Cinephobe on a train.
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6/25/2020 • 1 hour, 13 minutes, 38 seconds
Cinephobe Ep 27: Wild Wild West
Zach, Amin and Mayes are going straight...to...the wild wild west to cross dress, engage in racist roast battles, battle enormous mechanical spiders, and save the United States with the 1997 steampunk western.
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6/25/2020 • 1 hour, 17 minutes, 43 seconds
Cinephobe Ep 26: The Fanatic
Zach, Amin and Mayes get their diamond rhinestone black leather vests out for Hunter Dunbar to autograph in a movie starring John Travolta, who's essentially a Cinephobe co-host at this point, and the film auteur Fred Durst. We've got scooter sequences, homages to Misery and Reservoir Dogs, and one of Amin's best ever connections to a classic film.
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6/25/2020 • 1 hour, 15 minutes, 39 seconds
Cinephobe Ep 25: Gotti
Zach, Amin and Mayes put on John Gotti's old suits, and they can still smell the cologne. This disastrous film starring John Travolta and directed by E from Entourage certainly delivers when it comes to incoherence and Pitbull songs. Travolta is making his case to be the Cinephobe poster boy.
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6/25/2020 • 1 hour, 2 minutes, 12 seconds
Cinephobe Ep 24: Jade
Zach, Amin and Mayes dive back into the Eszterhas universe as a couple of lawyers acting like cops on the hunt for a mysterious killer known only as Jade.
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6/25/2020 • 1 hour, 5 minutes, 12 seconds
Cinephobe Ep 23: Theodore Rex
Zach, Amin and Mayes watch a movie selected by the fans in the Discord, and boy was it a mistake to give the people the power. We investigate dinosaur and aviary anatomy, whether the term "soft skin" is racist, and dive deep into the off camera ramifications that caused Oscar winning actress Whoopi Goldberg to appear in this straight to video disaster.
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6/25/2020 • 1 hour, 15 minutes, 5 seconds
Cinephobe Ep 22: Gigli
Zach, Amin and Mayes continue to spiral deeper and deeper into the dregs of Hollywood to discuss the movie that either caused or was caused by the celebrity couple Bennifer (that's Jennifer Lopez not Jennifer Aniston). We speculate on the lives of Nick Saban look-alikes, debate Al Pacino's merits as a yeller, and question what this podcast is even about anymore.
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6/25/2020 • 1 hour, 17 minutes, 37 seconds
Cinephobe Ep 21: 6 Underground
Zach, Amin and Mayes are just a couple of ghosts, free to podcast about any movie they choose! And they chose the $150 million dollar Michael Bay Netflix epic that starts with a 20 minute car chase sequence. Assemble your team and jet set around the world to get revenge on the made up dictator that ruined your charity photo op.
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6/25/2020 • 1 hour, 10 minutes, 18 seconds
Cinephobe Ep 20: Fred Claus
Zach, Amin and Mayes travel to the north pole for a holly jolly Christmas edition of Cinephobe. We're repossessing Plasma TVs and buying real estate from Survivor winners in order to reconnect with our estranged family and save Santa's business!
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6/24/2020 • 1 hour, 12 minutes, 22 seconds
Cinephobe Ep 19: Battlefield Earth
Zach, Amin and Mayes strap in to the learning machine for one of their worst movies yet. In the year 3000, man-animals last hope is a dreadlocked white man named Jonny Goodboy in the battle against nine foot tall disgusting middle managers on the crap filled factory known as Earth.
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6/24/2020 • 1 hour, 4 minutes, 35 seconds
Cinephobe Ep 18: Good Luck Chuck
Zach, Amin and Mayes take a jaunt back to the time when Dane Cook was on top of the world, and the world was made up of MySpace and comedy CDs. Based on a short story by a Los Angeles architect, this mystical rom com has a fascination with boobs and unlimited penguins.
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6/24/2020 • 1 hour, 27 minutes, 26 seconds
Cinephobe Ep 17: Horrible Bosses 2
Zach, Amin and Mayes bust out their thickest southern accents for this rare sequel that is better than the original. We discuss elegant handshake techniques, fuck marry kill scenarios, and finally determine whether "Bend her over a barrel and show her the 50 states" is actually a saying. From the stacked cast to the rat-a-tat joke filled banter, this movie is a rollicking good time, even Tony Medley agrees!
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6/24/2020 • 1 hour, 25 minutes, 42 seconds
Cinephobe Ep 16: Showgirls Part 1
Zach, Amin and Mayes bare it all to discuss the cinematic supernova that is 1995's Showgirls. This movie ruined multiple Hollywood careers, but it becomes the first Cinephobe to earn a sequel. In part 1 of the podcast, the gang crushes on Gina Gershon, worries about James' job security, and Amin reveals something from his past that made him exceedingly prepared to discuss this film.
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6/24/2020 • 1 hour, 8 minutes, 3 seconds
Cinephobe Ep 16: Showgirls Part 2
The movie so jam packed with nudity it needed a whole second episode to cover every nip and snatch. Zach, Amin and Mayes fawn over Gina Gershon, respect honest apologies and tally up the number of times our main character storms out of a scene. Cinephobe is headed straight to the top! We don't need an understudy.
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6/24/2020 • 1 hour, 8 minutes, 57 seconds
Cinephobe Ep 15: Gemini Man
Zach and Amin take on the first movie to get a Cinephobe treatment while still in theaters. The Ang Lee directed, Will Smith dual role cloning action thriller is filled with distracting visuals and has been bouncing around Hollywood development hell since 1997. On track to be one of the largest box office flops of the year, this is a podcast you won't want to miss.
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6/24/2020 • 1 hour, 4 minutes, 13 seconds
Cinephobe Ep 14: Hurricane Heist
Zach, Amin and Mayes brave the storm of the century to steal a bunch of money bound for the shredder. We've got hackers, terrible southern accents, a knock off Batmobile, powerful senses of smell, and pallets full of action. Tensions are high here at Cinephobe, so check it out before we tear ourselves apart like a Cat 4.
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6/24/2020 • 1 hour, 7 minutes, 4 seconds
Cinephobe Ep 13: The Heartbreak Kid
Zach, Amin and Mayes take a road trip to Cabo and get sick of each other when the red flags start flying. This 2007 film featuring Ben Stiller teaches us about spinning elaborate webs of lies, jackhammers, immigration, and pussy crushing counting. Will this podcast make it past the honeymoon phase?
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6/24/2020 • 1 hour, 8 minutes, 30 seconds
Cinephobe Ep 12: Hot Rod
Zach, Amin and Mayes jump 15 buses to pay for their step dad's conveniently priced surgery as they crash into this 2007 debut feature film from the Lonely Island. You are all invited to join our crew, once you pass initiation, but just remember that I am the one that parties. That's a flavor!
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6/24/2020 • 1 hour, 13 minutes, 43 seconds
Cinephobe Ep 11: Swordfish
Zach, Amin and Mayes break the fourth wall to discuss Skip Woods' 2001 masterpiece of cinematic scriptwriting, Swordfish! Stanley Jobson (Hugh Hackman) is the man for the job, and he's just trying to get his daughter back from the Porn King of southern California. Whether you're here to research Halle Berry's role in the film or just a die hard Thomas Jefferson truther, this is the movie for you.
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6/24/2020 • 1 hour, 28 minutes, 16 seconds
Cinephobe Ep 10: Mr. Magoo
Zach, Amin and Mayes review the movie released by Disney on Christmas Day 1997. Join us as we contemplate the origin of the name Quincy, the relevance of companies Compaq & Nortel, and which NBA owner most resembles the main character. Zach speculates on the origin of the eggplant emoji and Amin wonders whether Mission Impossible or Mr Magoo revolutionized the cable drop.
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6/24/2020 • 1 hour, 5 minutes, 31 seconds
Cinephobe Ep 9: White Chicks
Zach, Amin and Mayes put their jobs with good benefits on the line as we break down the 2004 Wayans Bros classic. Our longest episode to date might put you in a wheelchair, but don't worry the feeling will come back. Whether you only recognize Vanessa Carlton because of this movie or know that she had an absolute banger two years before, this is the podcast for you.
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6/24/2020 • 1 hour, 43 minutes, 11 seconds
Cinephobe Ep 8: The Wicker Man
Completing the Cage trifecta, take a journey with Zach, Amin and Mayes to SummersIsle, but don't expect any of that signature Royal Honey because last year's harvest was a disaster. This island in the puget sound is full of creepy silent men, chanting female twins, ominous bee keeping outfits and jarred fetii, but this film comes down to one crucial editing mistake.
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6/24/2020 • 1 hour, 2 minutes, 13 seconds
Cinephobe Ep 7: Spies Like Us
Zach, Amin and Mayes go behind enemy lines to decode Spies Like Us, one of Amin's favorite's from the 1980s.
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6/24/2020 • 1 hour, 7 minutes, 38 seconds
Cinephobe Ep 6: Never Back Down
Zach, Amin and Mayes are back to grapple with the 2008 Orlando Brawler classic, Never Back Down, featuring the gentleman from Amistad. Join the Cinephobe gang as they explore the specific time period when you would print out Mapquest directions and the facility of dental dams to a caucophony of awful late 2000s music.
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6/24/2020 • 1 hour, 30 minutes, 48 seconds
Cinephobe Ep 5: Jupiter Ascending
Zach and Amin are brought to the brink of rage at Mayes' pick, the space opera Jupiter Ascending. They discuss Channing Tatum saying words he clearly can't define, whatever it was Eddie Redmayne was going through in this movie, and the proper way to clean a toilet. Protect your telescope at all costs, and most of all, respect the honesty of bees.
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6/24/2020 • 1 hour, 7 minutes, 25 seconds
Cinephobe Ep 4: Knowing
Zach, Amin and Mayes get in the Cage yet again, staying up all night with overflowing glasses of whiskey to decrypt "Knowing". Join us as Amin cross examines the accuracy of telephone habits and TiVo recordings while Zach gives insight into the mind of an alcoholic MIT professor.
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6/24/2020 • 1 hour, 21 minutes, 16 seconds
Cinephobe Ep 3: Land of the Lost
Zach, Amin and Mayes take a routine expedition in a tiny raft to the Land of the Lost, the 2009 remake of the 1974 TV show starring Will Ferrell and Danny McBride. Join us as we answer important scientific questions such as “If you shot a ton of pot at the sun, would it burn up and get everybody high?”.
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6/24/2020 • 1 hour, 7 minutes, 25 seconds
Cinephobe Ep 2: Next
You might be asking, what's next for Cinephobe? The answer of course is the 2007 Nicolas Cage classic Next.
Zach, Amin and Mayes see this movie two minutes at a time and discuss one of the worst endings (if you can even call it an ending) ever.
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6/24/2020 • 1 hour, 14 minutes, 40 seconds
Cinephobe Ep 1: Kangaroo Jack: G'Day U.S.A.!
Zach, Amin and Mayes present Cinephobe, a podcast on the Count The Dings Network that showcases their shared affinity for bad movies.
This week they tackle Kangaroo Jack 2: G'Day U.S.A.!, and even though Amin fell asleep and Zach was playing games on his phone, they still have plenty of takes.
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6/24/2020 • 50 minutes, 6 seconds
Cinephobe Promo
The Podcast where Zach Harper, Amin Elhassan and Anthony Mayes review movies that are poorly rated on Rotten Tomatoes, and try to ascertain whether or not those movies are accurately poorly rated, or maybe just didn’t get a fair shake. Cinephobe! Wherever you get Podcasts!
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