On December 4th, the Supreme Court will hear arguments for U.S. v. Skrmetti, a case that could decide the fate of gender-affirming care for trans people across the country. Outward’s own Jules Gill Peterson contributed to an amicus brief for the case, a document that provides expertise and historical context to assist the court in making it’s decision. In this episode, Bryan and Christina reunite with Jules to break down her contributions to the document and dive into the history of transition and the powerful voices of trans youth from across time. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

In this episode long-time friend of the show and longtime WNBA fan Daisy Rosario sits down with queer sports reporter Frankie de la Cretaz to chat about the historic 2024 WNBA season. In this episode, they dig into the celebration and tension as the WNBA’s queer roots meet mainstream success. Can the league stay true to its queer community while taking on big-time sponsors and new fans?  Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

In this episode long-time friend of the show June Thomas sits down with the editor of The Queer Arab Glossary, Marwan Kaboour. The glossary is the first published collection of Arabic LGBTQ+ slang and covers a wide range of dialects across the arab world. Marwan details how he decided to organize the glossary and what the words reveal about queer culture.  Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

In this episode, Outward hosts Jules Gill-Peterson, Bryan Lowder, and Christina Cauterucci sit down with non-binary marathoner Cal Calamia to talk about their journey into competitive racing. Cal shares how they first got into running and how their experiences as a non-binary, trans-masculine athlete have shaped their advocacy. From battling outdated USADA regulations on hormone therapy to pushing for non-binary categories in major marathons, Cal gives insight into the work they do to make competitive racing gender-inclusive. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

In this episode, guest host Daisy Rosario talks to ‘What’s Next’ producer Madeline Ducharme about her experience at the DNC. They break down the queerest moments and examine the Democratic party’s queer agenda. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

This week Christina speaks to journalists S.I. Rosebaum and Josie Reisman about their Slate article Kamala Harris’ Surprising Record on Trans Rights. From the national conference she convened to counter the “gay panic” and “trans panic” defense, to her denial of gender-affirming surgery for an incarcerated trans person, a look back on key moments in Kamala Harris’ career reveal a complicated political track record on trans rights. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

This week Bryan, Jules, and Christina are joined by reporter Jasmine Mithani to talk about the Kids Online Safety Act. While protecting children from harmful material online seems like a win for everyone, some LGBTQ organizations fear that KOSA would be used to shut down LGBTQ+ content online and take away important resources for queer youth.  Podcast production by Palace Shaw Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

This week, Jules and Bryan are joined by dating coach and host of the KCRW podcast How’s Your Sex Life, Myisha Battle. Myisha covers dating friends, understanding your own desire, and making connections in the real world.  Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

This week, Jules sits down with Art Specialist Corey Serrant from Swann Auction Galleries to chat about pieces from their upcoming LGBTQ+ Art, Material Culture & History auction and how they found the art in the first place. From an Ancient Roman bust who was an unlikely companion to famous writers to an invitation to the Weimar Republic’s hottest lesbian bar, this collection spans centuries of queer life.  Podcast production by Palace Shaw Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

This week Jules speaks with journalist Sohini Desai about their latest article for Slate ‘Trans Health Care Is Under Attack. But Are Concierge Providers Really the Solution?’ Together they break down what these services offer and whether they can make a meaningful difference for trans people accessing healthcare across the country.  Produced by Palace Shaw Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

This week Bryan sits down with reporter Orion Rummler to break down Project 2025, conservative 920-page policy blueprint for a second Trump term. Orion’s article ‘What is Project 2025? Here’s the Heritage Foundation’s vision for a second Trump term’ looks at the widespread impact of these ideas for women, LGBTQ+ rights, families, education and the workforce. In this episode, we focus on the impact on LGBTQ rights and the danger of turning transness from a state of being to an ‘ideology’.   Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

This week Bryan sits down with reporter Nico Lang to break down their recent Slate article ‘Anti-Trans “Bathroom Bills” Are Making a Major Comeback. Where’s the Outrage?.They delve into the concerning return of ‘Bathroom Bills’ and unpack what’s different this time around, why it’s taking root, and the larger strategy of this legislation. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

In this episode, Jules talks to Gender Doula Eli Lawliet. They break down what it means to offer non-medical support to people during transition, the long history of trans support networks, and the value of ritual and spirituality during transition. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

This week Bryan, Christina, and Jules reunite for a classic Outward episode! They share their prides and provocations, set the gay agenda for July, and take on the recent spate of queer animal documentaries that beg the question: Can animals really be queer? Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Jules and Bryan talk to former Outward Producer June Thomas about her new book A Place Of Our Own: Six Spaces that Shaped Queer Women’s Culture. They take us from the commune to the feminist bookstore and discuss the world-building drive of the queer community. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

This week, Jules chats with Chala June (food writer and former associate editor at Bon Appetit) about what it is to queer food, the labor politics of the food service industry, and the camp of early Food Network programming. Click HERE to support Human Rights Campaign. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

This week, Bryan dives into the world of sports to talk about the often obscured queer history of the Olympics with writer Michael Waters. Michael’s new book ‘The Other Olympians: Fascism, Queerness, and the Making of Modern Sports’ highlights the gripping true stories of pioneering trans and intersex athletes from the 1936 Olympics. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

This week Christina Cauterucci returns to Outward to talk with Bryan about her experience making ‘Slow Burn: Gays Against Briggs’ and diving into one of the most consequential civil rights battles in American history: the first-ever statewide vote on gay rights. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

This week Bryan and Jules are joined by new contributor Mathew Rodriguez for a round of advice. They tackle who gets to use ‘they’, raising polite and inclusive kids, and help one listener navigate the aggressive gender politics of straight weddings. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

This week Bryan talks to Lucas LaRochelle, the creator of the online platform Queering the Map. Queering the Map is a community-generated digital archive and map of LGBTQ2IA+ experiences around the globe. They dig into the map’s beginnings, stories from the platform, and how this archive has been able to share queer joy, sorrow, and possibility across continents and in 23 languages.  Podcast production by Palace Shaw.  Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Former Outward producer June Thomas joins Bryan and Jules to chat about the very gay new series from Starz, Mary and George. They talk 16th-century sex and sexuality and share their prides, provocations, and the gay agenda for May.  Read What's Fact and What's Fiction in Mary & George from Slate Podcast production by Palace Shaw. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

This week, Jules and Bryan talk to Michael Goodyear about how trademark law is helping queer brands reclaim derogatory language. They dig into Dykes on Bikes and other early queer trademarks including the history of the rainbow flag we all know and love. You can read Michael’s article ‘The Surprising Result of the Supreme Court Case That Allowed Slurs in Brands’ on the Slate website.  Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

This week Bryan talks to writer Neil J. Young about his new book Coming Out Republican: A History of the Gay Right. They dig into some of the inherent contradictions of the Gay Right and the pillars of their political strategy and reveal how central whiteness and maleness is to their politic.  Podcast production by Palace Shaw. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

On this week’s episode, guest hosts Daisy Rosario and Madeline Duchamp break down the new lesbian caper films Drive Away Dolls and Love Lies Bleeding. They dig into the joy of queer bars, Kristen Stewart's soft butch coming out, and the newly iconic Katie O’Brien. Podcast production by Palace Shaw.  Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

In this episode, Trace Lysette (Transparent, Hustlers) talks about her critically acclaimed film Monica, with Jules. The film tells the story of a trans woman returning home after decades of estrangement from her dying mother, and was the first-ever film led by an out trans actor to debut at the Venice Film Festival. Jules talks to Trace about the layers of her performance and the rollercoaster experience of making and campaigning the film. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

This week, we’re sharing more of our interview with Trans rights activist and ACLU Lawyer Chase Strangio. In this episode, Bryand and Jules ask Chase about his recent New York Times op-ed Trans Visibility Is Nice. Safety Is Even Better. They also talk about how hyper-visibility does not equate safety, and what we all risk losing when we lose trans rights.  Email us at [email protected] Podcast production by Palace Shaw.  Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

2023 was a record-breaking year for anti-trans legislation and with over 500 bills introduced in 2024 it’s shaping up to be another critical year for statutory rights for trans people. This week, Bryan and Jules review the damage done in 2023 and look at the implications for anti-trans legislation this year with Chase Strangio, Deputy Director for Transgender Justice with the ACLU's LGBT & HIV Project. Email us at [email protected] Podcast production by Palace Shaw. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

In this episode Bryan speaks with Reporter Jessica Bateman about her recent Washington Post article ‘They found spiritual joy. They won’t have it taken away. That details the importance of LGBTQ-affirming churches in Tennessee and the challenges they face.  Email us at [email protected] Podcast production by Palace Shaw. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

From 52 first dates to 8 boyfriends at once, Ashley Ray is a poly expert here to answer your relationship questions and demystify some poly terms. Today, Bryan and Ashley dive into the perils of unicorn hunters, metamour drama, and what to do with jealous feelings.  Email us at [email protected] Podcast production by Palace Shaw. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

This week, Bryan is joined by Slate’s Madeline Ducharme to solve the mystery of True Detective: Night Country’s queer undertones. Together, they whip out the detective corkboard and read between the lines of Jodie Foster’s ‘mommie’-like character and Kali Reis’ cheek piercings and come up with some interesting theories. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

This Valentine’s Day Poet Cyrée Jarelle Johnson is joined by Outward producer Palace Shaw to share poems and chat about the inherent queerness of poetry and romance. They get into disabled approaches to sex, the trope of the queer doppelganger date, and give some advice to all the queer lovers out there. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Outward’s own Jules Gill-Peterson has a new book, A Short History of Transmisogyny, that gives insight into a fascinating queer history that stretches across time and around the world. In this episode, Bryan and Jules dig deep into the origins of transmisogyny and the liberatory beauty of trans femininity Podcast production by Palace Shaw.  Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

This week, Jules and Bryan join Slate Editor Jeffrey Bloomer to take on the spooky and surreal of All Of Us Strangers, a new film from director Andrew Haigh. Plus, prides, provocations, and delicious new additions to the gay agenda. Podcast production by Palace Shaw.  Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Danny Lavery and Madeline Ducharme join Bryan in taking on your uniquely queer queries, like- what to do when your facial piercing helps everyone remember your name- but you can’t remember theirs. White lies about homophobia, queer kids coming out, philosophical questions, and more in this latest round of Outward advice.  Podcast production by Palace Shaw. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

This week Bryan Lowder sits down with Evan Urquhart of Assigned Media, a news site dedicated to daily coverage of anti-trans propaganda and its effects to discuss his latest article ‘The Outing of Bubba Copeland’ for Slate. Bubba Copeland was the Mayor of Smiths Station who was outed for having an online trans-identity by a conservative news website and later that week committed suicide. Bryan and Evan discuss how this outing reflects the wave of anti-trans legislation. Podcast production by Palace Shaw. Email us at [email protected] Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

This week Jules sits down with Raquel Willis, an award-winning activist and journalist whose work is dedicated Black trans liberation. Raquel’s new memoir, The Risk It Takes to Bloom chronicles her political and personal awakenings as a Black trans woman growing up in the south. Jules and Raquel talk grief, gender, and collective liberation.  Podcast production by Palace Shaw. Email us at: [email protected] Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

On the final episode of Big Mood, Little Mood, Daniel M. Lavery reflects on more than eight years of offering advice on both this show, and Dear Prudence. As a parting gift, Lavery shares a piece that was influenced by many of the recurring conversations over his tenure titled: “Let Me Save You Some Time: A Field Guide To Avoiding Transition By Family Committee” Although this show is ending, Lavery will still be a featured guest on Slate's Outward podcast, so please do like and subscribe right here. Production by Phil Surkis Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Danny Lavery welcomes Ben Roy is a Denver-based comedian.  Lavery and Roy offer advice to someone who is upset that his family is resenting his brother’s success, instead of just loving and supporting him. Another letter writer is worried about feeling guilty about being relieved that her children will no longer have to deal with their addicted father who passed away.  Need advice? Send Danny a question here. Email: [email protected] If you enjoy this show, please consider signing up for Slate Plus. Slate Plus members get an ad-free experience across the network and exclusive content on many shows—you’ll also be supporting the work we do here on Big Mood, Little Mood. Sign up now at Slate.com/MoodPlus to help support our work Production by Phil Surkis Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Danny Lavery welcomes Max Read, a journalist and screenwriter based in New York. Lavery and Read offer advice to someone who is regretting being a landlord to their aunt. Another letter writer is wishing they could get out of an internship, but doesn’t want to hurt the project. Need advice? Send Danny a question here. Email: [email protected] If you enjoy this show, please consider signing up for Slate Plus. Slate Plus members get an ad-free experience across the network and exclusive content on many shows—you’ll also be supporting the work we do here on Big Mood, Little Mood. Sign up now at Slate.com/MoodPlus to help support our work Production by Phil Surkis Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Danny Lavery welcomes back his wife, Gracy Lavery, a writer and academic based in Brooklyn. The Lavery’s offer advice to someone who is wondering the next step in a marriage where one person desires polyamory. Another letter writer is wondering if she should response to an email from her younger brother who made her high school years hell. Need advice? Send Danny a question here. Email: [email protected] If you enjoy this show, please consider signing up for Slate Plus. Slate Plus members get an ad-free experience across the network and exclusive content on many shows—you’ll also be supporting the work we do here on Big Mood, Little Mood. Sign up now at Slate.com/MoodPlus to help support our work Production by Phil Surkis Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Danny Lavery welcomes back Ben Gullard, an artist living in Brooklyn who designs exhibits for children's science museums.  Lavery and Gullard offer advice to someone who is wondering how to handle a parent who forged his signature to get student loans. Another letter writer is fed up with the mother of her daughter’s friend, who is always dropping off the friend’s siblings for an “emergency” babysitting situation. Need advice? Send Danny a question here. Email: [email protected] If you enjoy this show, please consider signing up for Slate Plus. Slate Plus members get an ad-free experience across the network and exclusive content on many shows—you’ll also be supporting the work we do here on Big Mood, Little Mood. Sign up now at Slate.com/MoodPlus to help support our work Production by Phil Surkis Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Danny Lavery welcomes Ben Gullard, an artist living in Brooklyn who designs exhibits for children's science museums.  Lavery and Gullard offer advice to someone who doesn’t understand why his partner can’t see that their parents are abusive. Another letter writer is butting heads with her boyfriend’s sister. Need advice? Send Danny a question here. Email: [email protected] If you enjoy this show, please consider signing up for Slate Plus. Slate Plus members get an ad-free experience across the network and exclusive content on many shows—you’ll also be supporting the work we do here on Big Mood, Little Mood. Sign up now at Slate.com/MoodPlus to help support our work Production by Phil Surkis Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Danny Lavery welcomes Marisa Renee Lee, a called-upon grief advocate, entrepreneur, and bestselling author of "Grief is Love: Living with Loss". Lee also regularly contributes to The Atlantic, Glamour, Vogue, MSNBC, and CNN and serves as an expert for Ritual's wellbeing app. Lavery and Lee offer advice to someone who is put off by her mom who wants to be friends with her. Another letter writer is wondering if she should let go of a friendship with someone who really doesn’t show up for her. Need advice? Send Danny a question here. Email: [email protected] If you enjoy this show, please consider signing up for Slate Plus. Slate Plus members get an ad-free experience across the network and exclusive content on many shows—you’ll also be supporting the work we do here on Big Mood, Little Mood. Sign up now at Slate.com/MoodPlus to help support our work Production by Phil Surkis Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Danny Lavery welcomes Adrien Behn, the host and creator of A Race Around the World: Based on the True Adventures of Nellie Bly and Elizabeth Bisland. She is also the creator of the popular travel podcast Strangers Abroad, as well as a writer, and live storyteller. Lavery and Behn offer advice to someone who is wondering how to get a good night’s sleep living next to loud neighbors. Another letter writer is wondering how to live with an ex and avoid falling into old argument patterns. Need advice? Send Danny a question here. Email: [email protected] If you enjoy this show, please consider signing up for Slate Plus. Slate Plus members get an ad-free experience across the network and exclusive content on many shows—you’ll also be supporting the work we do here on Big Mood, Little Mood. Sign up now at Slate.com/MoodPlus to help support our work Production by Phil Surkis Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Danny Lavery welcomes Katie Lawler Turnbull, a NICU nurse of 17 years and a Master's in Human Rights. Lavery and Turnbull offer advice to someone who is wondering if they should attend a codependent support group, now that they’re feeling better. Another letter writer is asking how they should treat a sibling who just revealed themselves as transphobic. Need advice? Send Danny a question here. Email: [email protected] If you enjoy this show, please consider signing up for Slate Plus. Slate Plus members get an ad-free experience across the network and exclusive content on many shows—you’ll also be supporting the work we do here on Big Mood, Little Mood. Sign up now at Slate.com/MoodPlus to help support our work Production by Phil Surkis Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Danny Lavery welcomes back Carmen Rita Wong, the author of Why Didn't You Tell Me?: A Memoir. Wong has also written Never Too Real and Never Too Late, and she heads up Malecon Productions, a company focusing on women-led content.  Lavery and Wong give advice to someone who wonders if there is hope to deradicalize their cousin who is sliding far-right. Another letter writer is considering not taking a job, as they are questioning her about wearing a mask. Need advice? Send Danny a question here. Email: [email protected] If you enjoy this show, please consider signing up for Slate Plus. Slate Plus members get an ad-free experience across the network and exclusive content on many shows—you’ll also be supporting the work we do here on Big Mood, Little Mood. Sign up now at Slate.com/MoodPlus to help support our work Production by Phil Surkis Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Danny Lavery welcomes writer Rose Tremlett, who co-hosts an optimisation podcast for the online edition of the German national newspaper, DIE ZEIT.  Lavery and Tremlett give advice to someone who is confused about the messages her boyfriend gives her about the possibility of cohabitation. Another letter writer feels guilty about cutting off an ongoing correspondence with someone in prison. Need advice? Send Danny a question here. Email: [email protected] If you enjoy this show, please consider signing up for Slate Plus. Slate Plus members get an ad-free experience across the network and exclusive content on many shows—you’ll also be supporting the work we do here on Big Mood, Little Mood. Sign up now at Slate.com/MoodPlus to help support our work Production by Phil Surkis Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Danny Lavery welcomes Emma Arnold, a comedian, artist, and beekeeper, who recently released a comedy special and album called MYSELF. She is also the host of the City Cast Boise podcast. Lavery and Arnold give advice to someone who wants to stop feeling dread about aging and the world in general. Another letter writer wants to help a destitute friend in need of support.  Need advice? Send Danny a question here. Email: [email protected] If you enjoy this show, please consider signing up for Slate Plus. Slate Plus members get an ad-free experience across the network and exclusive content on many shows—you’ll also be supporting the work we do here on Big Mood, Little Mood. Sign up now at Slate.com/MoodPlus to help support our work Production by Phil Surkis Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Danny Lavery welcomes Leo Briggs and HG Gruebmeyer, who wrote and performed the play CVS, which premiered this past year at the Seven Stages Theater in Atlanta. Lavery, Briggs, and Gruebmeyer offer advice to someone who is growing weary of her bestie’s contant boyfriend drama. Another letter writer is wondering if they should discuss politics within their friend group. Plus, a deep dive on the making of the play, CVS. Need advice? Send Danny a question here. Email: [email protected] If you enjoy this show, please consider signing up for Slate Plus. Slate Plus members get an ad-free experience across the network and exclusive content on many shows—you’ll also be supporting the work we do here on Big Mood, Little Mood. Sign up now at Slate.com/MoodPlus to help support our work Production by Phil Surkis Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Danny Lavery welcomes Felicia Reich, a nonfiction comedy writer of personal essays and cultural commentary based in Brooklyn, NY. Lavery and Reich offer advice to someone who feels uncomfortable dating one particular person, while exploring sex with multiple partners. Another letter writer wishes an aunt would stop making up stories about her childhood. Need advice? Send Danny a question here. Email: [email protected] If you enjoy this show, please consider signing up for Slate Plus. Slate Plus members get an ad-free experience across the network and exclusive content on many shows—you’ll also be supporting the work we do here on Big Mood, Little Mood. Sign up now at Slate.com/MoodPlus to help support our work Production by Phil Surkis Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Danny Lavery welcomes Auyon Mukharji, a writer and musician based in Massachusetts. He is a member of the band Darlingside, and is working on an Indian cookbook with his mother, Jyoti. Lavery and Mukharji offer advice to someone who is troubled that his boyfriend resents him for blowing up their friend group. Another letter writer wants his boyfriend to reveal their relationship to his parents.  Need advice? Send Danny a question here. Email: [email protected] If you enjoy this show, please consider signing up for Slate Plus. Slate Plus members get an ad-free experience across the network and exclusive content on many shows—you’ll also be supporting the work we do here on Big Mood, Little Mood. Sign up now at Slate.com/MoodPlus to help support our work Production by Phil Surkis Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Danny Lavery welcomes poet Elisa Gonzalez, whose first book, Grand Tour, will be published this month. Lavery and Gonzalez offer advice to someone who feels responsible for complicating their friend’s life by sparking their interest in transitioning. Another letter writer is wondering at what point would it be less painful to move on from an unsupportive dad. Plus a listener writes in to comment on the episode “Time to Move On”. Need advice? Send Danny a question here. Email: [email protected] If you enjoy this show, please consider signing up for Slate Plus. Slate Plus members get an ad-free experience across the network and exclusive content on many shows—you’ll also be supporting the work we do here on Big Mood, Little Mood. Sign up now at Slate.com/MoodPlus to help support our work Production by Phil Surkis Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Danny Lavery welcomes Julia Mounsey, a director and writer whose work has been presented at Under the Radar at the Public Theater, Soho Rep, JACK, Dixon Place, and the Deutsches Schauspielhaus in Hamburg. Lavery and Mounsey offer advice to someone who is wondering if they should honor their mother’s request to keep their abusive upbringing a secret. Another letter writer is wondering how to help a friend who is always getting in relationships that keep him unhappy. Plus, a listener's response to the letter “Grandma McGruff”. Need advice? Send Danny a question here. Email: [email protected] If you enjoy this show, please consider signing up for Slate Plus. Slate Plus members get an ad-free experience across the network and exclusive content on many shows—you’ll also be supporting the work we do here on Big Mood, Little Mood. Sign up now at Slate.com/MoodPlus to help support our work Production by Phil Surkis Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Danny Lavery welcomes Vani Gupta, a speech language pathologist in Sydney, Australia.  Lavery and Gupta offer advice to someone who upset their husband after revealing that her former therapist and her used to flirt in therapy. Plus, an update on the letter “Clingy Sister Syndrome”, which appeared in our September 13th, 2022 episode. Need advice? Send Danny a question here. Email: [email protected] If you enjoy this show, please consider signing up for Slate Plus. Slate Plus members get an ad-free experience across the network and exclusive content on many shows—you’ll also be supporting the work we do here on Big Mood, Little Mood. Sign up now at Slate.com/MoodPlus to help support our work Production by Phil Surkis Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Danny Lavery offers advice to someone who wants to connect to their body as actually part of themself. Another letter writer is troubled that their partner’s partner never pays for anything. Plus, a listener comments about ways to advocate for foster youth. Need advice? Send Danny a question here. Email: [email protected] If you enjoy this show, please consider signing up for Slate Plus. Slate Plus members get an ad-free experience across the network and exclusive content on many shows—you’ll also be supporting the work we do here on Big Mood, Little Mood. Sign up now at Slate.com/MoodPlus to help support our work Production by Phil Surkis Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Danny Lavery welcomes Kristina Gaddy, the author of Well of Souls: Uncovering the Banjo’s Hidden History and Flowers in the Gutter: The True Story of the Edelweiss Pirates, Teenagers Who Resisted the Nazis.  Lavery and Gaddy offer advice to a bride who’s adoptive mom is upset that her biological mom was invited to her wedding. Another letter writer is wondering how to talk to his fiancėe about the unscientific nature of social media. Plus, banjo origin stories with a cameo from Slate’s own Ben Richmond! Need advice? Send Danny a question here. Email: [email protected] If you enjoy this show, please consider signing up for Slate Plus. Slate Plus members get an ad-free experience across the network and exclusive content on many shows—you’ll also be supporting the work we do here on Big Mood, Little Mood. Sign up now at Slate.com/MoodPlus to help support our work Production by Phil Surkis Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Danny Lavery welcomes Dr. Ida Santana, an addiction medicine physician and a writer. She’s on Substack @idasantana where she publishes Osage Orange, Dispatches from the Prairieland. Lavery and Santana offer advice to an educator dealing with transphobia at their school. Another letter is burnt out from supporting their friend, but is afraid to stop. Plus, a listener comment for the episode, “Is She Really Going Out with Her?” Need advice? Send Danny a question here. Email: [email protected] If you enjoy this show, please consider signing up for Slate Plus. Slate Plus members get an ad-free experience across the network and exclusive content on many shows—you’ll also be supporting the work we do here on Big Mood, Little Mood. Sign up now at Slate.com/MoodPlus to help support our work Production by Phil Surkis Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Danny Lavery welcomes Chelsey Weber-Smith, the host of American Hysteria, a podcast that explores how fantastical thinking has shaped our culture. Lavery and Weber-Smith offer advice to a daughter who is trying to hang on to her relationship with her also fighting parents. Another letter is noticing that their partner’s low self-esteem is impacting their relationship. Plus, an update from the letter writer “Lost in Transition”. Need advice? Send Danny a question here. Email: [email protected] If you enjoy this show, please consider signing up for Slate Plus. Slate Plus members get an ad-free experience across the network and exclusive content on many shows—you’ll also be supporting the work we do here on Big Mood, Little Mood. Sign up now at Slate.com/MoodPlus to help support our work Production by Phil Surkis Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Danny Lavery welcomes Allison Raskin, the New York Times bestselling author of the books, I Hate Everyone But You: A Novel, and Overthinking About You: Navigating Romantic Relationships When You Have Anxiety, OCD, and/or Depression. Lavery and Raskin offer advice to a mom who is suspicious of her daughter’s girlfriend’s motivations. Another letter writer wants to reconnect with her sister after an abusive upbringing that led them to living in separate foster homes. Need advice? Send Danny a question here. Email: [email protected] If you enjoy this show, please consider signing up for Slate Plus. Slate Plus members get an ad-free experience across the network and exclusive content on many shows—you’ll also be supporting the work we do here on Big Mood, Little Mood. Sign up now at Slate.com/MoodPlus to help support our work Production by Phil Surkis Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Danny Lavery welcomes Tracy Leeds Kaplan, the founder of Small But Mighty Media and the executive producer of The Ten News. Lavery and Kaplan offer advice to someone who’s concerned that his friend is getting cut off from the help he needs. Another letter writer is wondering how to let her aunt know the reality of her sibling relationship. Also, a listener update from “Need My Social Sea-Legs”. Need advice? Send Danny a question here. Email: [email protected] If you enjoy this show, please consider signing up for Slate Plus. Slate Plus members get an ad-free experience across the network and exclusive content on many shows—you’ll also be supporting the work we do here on Big Mood, Little Mood. Sign up now at Slate.com/MoodPlus to help support our work Production by Phil Surkis Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Danny Lavery welcomes Leslie Cohen-Rubury, a Licensed Clinical Social Worker, and host of “Is My Child a Monster?”, A Parenting Therapy Podcast. Lavery and Cohen-Rubury offer advice to someone who’s parents might interfere with her decision to be a surrogate mother for her friends. Another letter writer is wondering how to tell their mom about being abused by their teacher when they were 16. Also, a listener's response to the “Fairweather Friend Group” letter. Resources mentioned in today’s show: Cognitive Processing Therapy for PTSD - https://cptforptsd.com/cpt-provider-roster/ Dialectic Behavior Therapy - Prolonged Exposure (DBT-PE) - https://dbtpe.org/find-a-therapist The Body Keeps Score - A book by Bessel Van Der Kolk Need advice? Send Danny a question here. Email: [email protected] If you enjoy this show, please consider signing up for Slate Plus. Slate Plus members get an ad-free experience across the network and exclusive content on many shows—you’ll also be supporting the work we do here on Big Mood, Little Mood. Sign up now at Slate.com/MoodPlus to help support our work Production by Phil Surkis Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Danny Lavery welcomes Halle Kiefer, a Senior ComedyWriter at Crooked Media, and Alison Leiby, a New York based comedian. Together, Kiefer and Leiby host Crooked Media’s weekly horror film podcast, Ruined. Lavery, Kiefer and Leiby offer advice to someone who’s rapidly approaching burn-out at work. Another letter writer is wondering what to do about their therapist, which has started to feel unsafe. Plus, a lightning round letter about how to talk about yourself with new friends without giving up the dark details of your past. Need advice? Send Danny a question here. Email: [email protected] If you enjoy this show, please consider signing up for Slate Plus. Slate Plus members get an ad-free experience across the network and exclusive content on many shows—you’ll also be supporting the work we do here on Big Mood, Little Mood. Sign up now at Slate.com/MoodPlus to help support our work Production by Phil Surkis Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Danny Lavery welcomes Alo Johnston, author of Am I Trans Enough, and co-host of the Wondermind podcast, Baggage Drop. Lavery and Johnston offer advice to someone considering how to reveal their crush, and another letter writer who feels disappointment that their college friend decided to detransition. Plus, a listener's response to a recent letter titled “Vacation Friends”. Need advice? Send Danny a question here. Email: [email protected] If you enjoy this show, please consider signing up for Slate Plus. Slate Plus members get an ad-free experience across the network and exclusive content on many shows—you’ll also be supporting the work we do here on Big Mood, Little Mood. Sign up now at Slate.com/MoodPlus to help support our work Production by Phil Surkis Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Danny Lavery welcomes Sequoia B. Holmes, host and creator of the pop culture podcast Black People Love Paramore. Lavery and Holmes offer advice to someone who is tired of her friend complaining about her ailments. Another letter writer is starting to wonder why their partner is with them. Plus, the story behind Black People Love Paramore, and a pro tip on how to keep your cereal crunchy. Need advice? Send Danny a question here. Email: [email protected] If you enjoy this show, please consider signing up for Slate Plus. Slate Plus members get an ad-free experience across the network and exclusive content on many shows—you’ll also be supporting the work we do here on Big Mood, Little Mood. Sign up now at Slate.com/MoodPlus to help support our work Production by Phil Surkis Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Danny Lavery welcomes Emma Gray, author of A Girls’ Guide To Joining The Resistance, and Claire Fallon, a culture critic based in New York. Together, Gray and Fallon host the podcast, Love To See It, a snarky but affectionate dissection of dating reality shows Lavery and Gray and Fallon offer advice to someone who is trying to cope with racist coworkers. Another letter writer is concerned about a surgical decision they made when their child was born. Plus, a listener wrote in offering a folksy expression from her Grandmother’s diary from college. Need advice? Send Danny a question here. Email: [email protected] If you enjoy this show, please consider signing up for Slate Plus. Slate Plus members get an ad-free experience across the network and exclusive content on many shows—you’ll also be supporting the work we do here on Big Mood, Little Mood. Sign up now at Slate.com/MoodPlus to help support our work Production by Phil Surkis This Pride Month, make an impact by helping Macy’s and The Trevor Project on their mission to fund life-saving suicide prevention services for LGBTQ youth. Go to macys.com/purpose to learn more.  Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Danny Lavery welcomes Laura Cathcart Robbins, the author of the critically acclaimed memoir, Stash: My Life In Hiding, and host of the podcast, The Only One In The Room. Lavery and Robbins offer advice to someone who is wondering if they can handle a bad boss and salvage their dream job. Another letter writer is wondering why she is always confused by family and social etiquette. Also, a deep dive into Robbin’s memoir, Stash, and a listener update from “Conflicted and Demoralized”. Need advice? Send Danny a question here. Email: [email protected] If you enjoy this show, please consider signing up for Slate Plus. Slate Plus members get an ad-free experience across the network and exclusive content on many shows—you’ll also be supporting the work we do here on Big Mood, Little Mood. Sign up now at Slate.com/MoodPlus to help support our work Production by Phil Surkis This Pride Month, make an impact by helping Macy’s and The Trevor Project on their mission to fund life-saving suicide prevention services for LGBTQ youth. Go to macys.com/purpose to learn more. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Danny Lavery welcomes Kaitlynn Bartley, a Higher Education working in Residence Life, and Nicole Fusco, an epidemiologist. Lavery, Bartley and Fusco offer advice to someone who is wondering how to stop having a crush on their boss. Another letter writer is afraid they won’t live up to their new friend’s expectations. Plus, a lighting round letter about getting over a breakup.  Need advice? Send Danny a question here. Email: [email protected] If you enjoy this show, please consider signing up for Slate Plus. Slate Plus members get an ad-free experience across the network and exclusive content on many shows—you’ll also be supporting the work we do here on Big Mood, Little Mood. Sign up now at Slate.com/MoodPlus to help support our work Production by Phil Surkis Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Danny Lavery welcomes Ben Miller, co-author of the book, Bad Gays: A Homosexual History, and co-host of the podcast, Bad Gays, along with Huw Lemmey. Lavery and Miller offer advice to someone who is wondering if it’s okay to offer a DIY transition option to their boyfriend. Another letter wants to avoid any and all conversations having to do with astrology. Plus, a deep dive into Miller’s book, Bad Gays: A Homosexual History. Need advice? Send Danny a question here. Email: [email protected] If you enjoy this show, please consider signing up for Slate Plus. Slate Plus members get an ad-free experience across the network and exclusive content on many shows—you’ll also be supporting the work we do here on Big Mood, Little Mood. Sign up now at Slate.com/MoodPlus to help support our work Production by Phil Surkis Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Danny Lavery welcomes Seth Dirlam, a law school career counselor. Lavery and Dirlam offer advice to someone who is wondering how to stop resenting her best friends after a vacation gone awry. Another letter writer wants to support their friends who are figuring out their gender identities, without overstepping.  Need advice? Send Danny a question here. Email: [email protected] If you enjoy this show, please consider signing up for Slate Plus. Slate Plus members get an ad-free experience across the network and exclusive content on many shows—you’ll also be supporting the work we do here on Big Mood, Little Mood. Sign up now at Slate.com/MoodPlus to help support our work Production by Phil Surkis Make an impact this Asian American & Pacific Islander Heritage Month by helping Macy’s on their mission to fund APIA Scholars. Go to macys.com/purpose to learn more. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Danny Lavery welcomes Kimi Culp, a multimedia producer, and the host of All the Wiser, a podcast about finding hope and possibility on the other side of pain. Lavery and Culp offer advice to someone who is concerned about the magazine selection in her dentist’s office. Another letter writer is wondering how to deal with a mother-in-law who freaked out up upon discovering her sex toys. Plus, a listener's response to the letter about the daughter taking swimming lessons. Need advice? Send Danny a question here. Email: [email protected] If you enjoy this show, please consider signing up for Slate Plus. Slate Plus members get an ad-free experience across the network and exclusive content on many shows—you’ll also be supporting the work we do here on Big Mood, Little Mood. Sign up now at Slate.com/MoodPlus to help support our work Production by Phil Surkis Make an impact this Asian American & Pacific Islander Heritage Month by helping Macy’s on their mission to fund APIA Scholars. Go to macys.com/purpose to learn more. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Danny Lavery welcomes Dr. Orna Guralnik, a psychoanalyst and writer, and the host of the Showtime Docu-series, Couples Therapy. Lavery and Guralnik offer advice to someone who is nervous about initiating a kiss on a fourth date. Another letter writer wants to protect her nephew from her sister’s toxic family. Plus, a lighting round question about rainbow flags. Need advice? Send Danny a question here. Email: [email protected] If you enjoy this show, please consider signing up for Slate Plus. Slate Plus members get an ad-free experience across the network and exclusive content on many shows—you’ll also be supporting the work we do here on Big Mood, Little Mood. Sign up now at Slate.com/MoodPlus to help support our work Production by Phil Surkis Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Danny Lavery welcomes Cyndie Spiegel, author of the book, Microjoys: Finding Hope (Especially) When Life is Not Okay. Lavery and Spiegel offer advice to someone who is uncomfortable bringing up financial privilege among their friend group. Another letter writer wants to sever ties with her mom, but there’s one complication. Also, Spiegel shares the inspiration behind her book, Microjoys. Need advice? Send Danny a question here. Email: [email protected] If you enjoy this show, please consider signing up for Slate Plus. Slate Plus members get an ad-free experience across the network and exclusive content on many shows—you’ll also be supporting the work we do here on Big Mood, Little Mood. Sign up now at Slate.com/MoodPlus to help support our work Production by Phil Surkis Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Danny Lavery welcomes Zak Rosen, a Detroit-based story maker who created and hosts the podcast, The Best Advice Show, and co-hosts Slate’s parenting podcast, Mom and Dad are Fighting.  Lavery and Rosen offer advice to someone who’s wondering if she should be concerned about a cashier's creepy behavior. Another letter writer is wondering how to cope in a less than desirable living environment. Plus, a follow up from the letter writer “Disgruntled Employee”. Need advice? Send Danny a question here. Email: [email protected] If you enjoy this show, please consider signing up for Slate Plus. Slate Plus members get an ad-free experience across the network and exclusive content on many shows—you’ll also be supporting the work we do here on Big Mood, Little Mood. Sign up now at Slate.com/MoodPlus to help support our work Production by Phil Surkis Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Danny Lavery welcomes Kristen Meinzer, an award-winning podcaster and author, and Jolenta Greenberg, a New York-based comedian and author. Together, Meinzer and Greenberg host a new podcast called How To Be Fine, where they discuss wellness-related questions and help debunk all the self-help myths and promises. Lavery, Meinzer and Greenberg give advice to someone who is feeling under appreciated by friends who frequently park their cars at his home. Another letter writer is wondering how to cope with a boyfriend who suffers from delusions. Also, Meinzer and Greenberg give us a behind the scenes look at their new podcast, How To Be Fine. Need advice? Send Danny a question here. Email: [email protected] If you enjoy this show, please consider signing up for Slate Plus. Slate Plus members get an ad-free experience across the network and exclusive content on many shows—you’ll also be supporting the work we do here on Big Mood, Little Mood. Sign up now at Slate.com/MoodPlus to help support our work Production by Phil Surkis Make an impact this Earth Month by helping Macy’s on their mission to bring more parks to more people across the country. Go to macys.com/purpose to learn more. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Danny Lavery welcomes Tuck Woodstock, a journalist, educator, and the host of the podcast Gender Reveal.  Lavery and Woodstock give advice to someone wondering why they’re suddenly identifying with their birth sex five years into their transition. Another letter writer is concerned about coming out to their social media following. A third letter is about fearing you are no longer attractive to your partner. Finally, a letter writer is wondering if they should speak up about her daughter’s water acclimation class. Need advice? Send Danny a question here. Email: [email protected] If you enjoy this show, please consider signing up for Slate Plus. Slate Plus members get an ad-free experience across the network and exclusive content on many shows—you’ll also be supporting the work we do here on Big Mood, Little Mood. Sign up now at Slate.com/MoodPlus to help support our work Production by Phil Surkis Make an impact this Earth Month by helping Macy’s on their mission to bring more parks to more people across the country. Go to macys.com/purpose to learn more. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Danny Lavery welcomes Gabe Mollica, a comedian, storyteller and writer in Astoria, Queens. Lavery and Mollica tackle two letters. First, from a letter writer who’s wondering how to talk to her best friend who is a contrarian. Another letter writer is losing her connection with her father, as he believes that COVID is fake. Plus, Mollica shares the inspiration for his off-Broadway show, Solo. Need advice? Send Danny a question here. Email: [email protected] If you enjoy this show, please consider signing up for Slate Plus. Slate Plus members get an ad-free experience across the network and exclusive content on many shows—you’ll also be supporting the work we do here on Big Mood, Little Mood. Sign up now at Slate.com/MoodPlus to help support our work Production by Phil Surkis Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Danny Lavery welcomes comedian, actor, and host of the Beautiful/Anonymous podcast, Chris Gethard.  Lavery and Gethard take on three letters. First, from a letter writer who is terrified about the unknowns of transitioning. Another letter writer is wondering if their standards are too high when dating. Our third letter is from someone who wishes they could get over their resistance to polyamory. Plus, a deep dive into Gethard’s Beautiful/Anonymous podcast. Need advice? Send Danny a question here. Email: [email protected] If you enjoy this show, please consider signing up for Slate Plus. Slate Plus members get an ad-free experience across the network and exclusive content on many shows—you’ll also be supporting the work we do here on Big Mood, Little Mood. Sign up now at Slate.com/MoodPlus to help support our work Production by Phil Surkis Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Danny Lavery welcomes Kate Duffy, a New York based licensed clinical social worker. Lavery and Duffy tackle two letters. First, from a letter writer who wants to date someone who her best friend just broke up with. Another letter writer who is concerned that a friend’s issues around food is breaking apart their friendship. Need advice? Send Danny a question here. Email: [email protected] If you enjoy this show, please consider signing up for Slate Plus. Slate Plus members get an ad-free experience across the network and exclusive content on many shows—you’ll also be supporting the work we do here on Big Mood, Little Mood. Sign up now at Slate.com/MoodPlus to help support our work Production by Phil Surkis Make an impact this Women’s History Month by helping Macy’s on their mission to fund girls in STEM. Go to macys.com/purpose to learn more. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Danny Lavery welcomes Sharon Lurye, a data journalist based in New Orleans, Louisiana.  Lavery and Lurye take on two letters. First, from a letter writer who can’t get her ex-boyfriend to pay her back. Another letter writer wants to help her freshman roommate get her life back. Plus an update from the letter “Resentfully In Love”. Finally, Lavery reads a letter with the subject, “Mad About Masking”, and is asking you, our Big Mood Little Mood listeners, to weigh in. Need advice? Send Danny a question here. Email: [email protected] If you enjoy this show, please consider signing up for Slate Plus. Slate Plus members get an ad-free experience across the network and exclusive content on many shows—you’ll also be supporting the work we do here on Big Mood, Little Mood. Sign up now at Slate.com/MoodPlus to help support our work Production by Phil Surkis Make an impact this Women’s History Month by helping Macy’s on their mission to fund girls in STEM. Go to macys.com/purpose to learn more. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Danny Lavery welcomes Amy S. Choi and Rebecca Lehrer, co-hosts of the new podcast series from The Mash-Up Americans titled, Grief, Collected. Lavery and Choi and Lehrer tackle two letters. First, from a letter writer who is engaged to someone they may be sexually incompatible with. Another letter writer is wondering how to return an ornament to an ex who stalked her during their breakup. Plus, a deep dive into Choi and Lehrer’s new podcast series, Grief, Collected. Need advice? Send Danny a question here. Email: [email protected] If you enjoy this show, please consider signing up for Slate Plus. Slate Plus members get an ad-free experience across the network and exclusive content on many shows—you’ll also be supporting the work we do here on Big Mood, Little Mood. Sign up now at Slate.com/MoodPlus to help support our work Production by Phil Surkis Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Danny Lavery welcomes Sunshine, a Digital Content Producer for the National Birth Equity Collaborative, an organization that fights for the maternal, infant, sexual, and reproductive wellbeing of Black people who can birth.  In a surprise twist on today’s show, Sunshine revealed that they had written a letter which Danny read on our Praise with No Raise episode last year. We recommend checking out Sunshine’s letter from that show (subject: Non-profit Nonsense), and then tuning in to today’s ep to find out how things turned out! Lavery and Sunshine take on three letters. First, from someone who is wondering how to support a grieving friend who is difficult to be around. Another letter writer is realizing that she doesn’t having much in common with her friend group. A third letter is from someone wondering how to tell their colleague that they’re trans, when the colleague has already assumed they are cis. Need advice? Send Danny a question here. Email: [email protected] If you enjoy this show, please consider signing up for Slate Plus. Slate Plus members get an ad-free experience across the network and exclusive content on many shows—you’ll also be supporting the work we do here on Big Mood, Little Mood. Sign up now at Slate.com/MoodPlus to help support our work Production by Phil Surkis Make an impact this Black History Month by helping Macy’s on their mission to fund UNCF scholarships for HBCU students. Go to macys.com/purpose to learn more. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Here's a special treat for all of you Big Mood, Little Mood listeners: Daniel M. Lavery is excited to introduce to you the new Dear Prudence podcast with Jenée Desmond-Harris. Please subscribe on your favorite podcast listening platform! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Danny Lavery welcomes Daniela Taplin Lundberg, a film producer and the host of the Hollywood Gold podcast. She is the Founder of Stay Gold Features, an independent film finance and production company.  Lavery and Taplin Lundberg take on two letters. First, from someone who is wondering how to approach ending a friendship she previously promised she wouldn’t. Another letter writer wants to reduce the number of holidays spent with her mother-in-law. Need advice? Send Danny a question here. Email: [email protected] If you enjoy this show, please consider signing up for Slate Plus. Slate Plus members get an ad-free experience across the network and exclusive content on many shows—you’ll also be supporting the work we do here on Big Mood, Little Mood. Sign up now at Slate.com/MoodPlus to help support our work Production by Phil Surkis Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Danny Lavery welcomes Marie Manner, a research and development data scientist. Lavery and Manner take on two letters. First, from someone who is wondering if it’s okay she doesn’t have a big reason to cut her father from her life. Another letter writer is wondering if she should pursue a long-time crush. Need advice? Send Danny a question here. Email: [email protected] If you enjoy this show, please consider signing up for Slate Plus. Slate Plus members get an ad-free experience across the network and exclusive content on many shows—you’ll also be supporting the work we do here on Big Mood, Little Mood. Sign up now at Slate.com/MoodPlus to help support our work Production by Phil Surkis Make an impact this Black History Month by helping Macy’s on their mission to fund UNCF scholarships for HBCU students. Go to macys.com/purpose to learn more. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Danny Lavery welcomes Bay Ryan, a postgraduate ecologist. Lavery and Ryan tackle two letters. First, from someone who is frustrated by loved ones who don’t take COVID precautions seriously. Another letter writer feels struggles to say any back after his partner says anything romantic. Plus, the latest on daylight saving time. Need advice? Send Danny a question here. Email: [email protected] If you enjoy this show, please consider signing up for Slate Plus. Slate Plus members get an ad-free experience across the network and exclusive content on many shows—you’ll also be supporting the work we do here on Big Mood, Little Mood. Sign up now at Slate.com/MoodPlus to help support our work Production by Phil Surkis Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Danny Lavery welcomes Hugh Ryan, the author of The Women's House of Detention: A Queer History of a Forgotten Prison, which New York Magazine called one of the best books of 2022. His first book, When Brooklyn Was Queer, won a 2020 New York City Book Award.  Lavery and Ryan tackle three letters. First, from someone who is seeking closure from a failed friendship. Another letter writer is trying to understand why their boyfriend is so angry at his family. Finally, someone writes in about their book club which has morphed into a morass of secrets. Need advice? Send Danny a question here. Email: [email protected] If you enjoy this show, please consider signing up for Slate Plus. Slate Plus members get an ad-free experience across the network and exclusive content on many shows—you’ll also be supporting the work we do here on Big Mood, Little Mood. Sign up now at Slate.com/MoodPlus to help support our work Production by Phil Surkis Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Danny Lavery welcomes Ashley Robertson, an expert question-asker who facilitates workshops on comprehensive, affirming, medically-accurate sexuality education.  Lavery and Robertson take on two letters. First, from someone who now has suspicions that her boyfriend has been violent in past relationships. Another letter writer is tired of being marginalized by his in-laws. Plus a listener comment about December 7th letter titled “Not Microdosing''. Need advice? Send Danny a question here. Email: [email protected] If you enjoy this show, please consider signing up for Slate Plus. Slate Plus members get an ad-free experience across the network and exclusive content on many shows—you’ll also be supporting the work we do here on Big Mood, Little Mood. Sign up now at Slate.com/MoodPlus to help support our work Production by Phil Surkis Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Danny Lavery welcomes Ash Sky Keen, a mathematics tutor helping neurodivergent students navigate math education.   Lavery and Keen tackle two letters. First, from someone who wants their parents to recalculate their will to adjust for monetary assistance their sibling already received. A second letter writer is waiting for a friend’s apology, and fearing it will never come. Need advice? Send Danny a question here. Email: [email protected] If you enjoy this show, please consider signing up for Slate Plus. Slate Plus members get an ad-free experience across the network and exclusive content on many shows—you’ll also be supporting the work we do here on Big Mood, Little Mood. Sign up now at Slate.com/MoodPlus to help support our work Production by Phil Surkis Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Danny Lavery welcomes Frankie Day, a writer based in Charlotte, North Carolina.  Lavery and Day take on three letters. First, from someone who is shocked that her family won’t support her adopting a child. Another letter writer is how long they should hold on to their ex’s belongings. Finally, a third letter writer is concerned that he chose a name that also belongs to a dog that is in his friend circle. Need advice? Send Danny a question here. Email: [email protected] If you enjoy this show, please consider signing up for Slate Plus. Slate Plus members get an ad-free experience across the network and exclusive content on many shows—you’ll also be supporting the work we do here on Big Mood, Little Mood. Sign up now at Slate.com/MoodPlus to help support our work Production by Phil Surkis Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Daniel M. Lavery revisits a few of the many memorable letters from 2022, including one about someone who’s upset that his friends continue to associate with someone who is considered toxic (with guest Ty Mitchell). Another letter writer wants to have a third child, despite her husband’s concern about passing along a rare genetic condition (with guest Wendy Lee). And finally, a letter from someone whose close friends always start dating each other (with guest Olivia Chairmane) If you enjoy this show, please consider subscribing. You can subscribe directly to Big Mood, Little Mood for as little as $2.99/month and get an additional episode of the podcast every Friday, as well as ad-free listening. You’ll also be supporting the work we do here on Big Mood, Little Mood. Sign up now at https://slate.com/moodplus. Need advice? Send Danny a question here. Email: [email protected] Production by Phil Surkis Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Danny Lavery welcomes Mollie West Duffy, co-author of the Wall Street Journal bestselling book about emotions at work: No Hard Feelings: The Secret Power of Embracing Emotions at Work, and Big Feelings: How To Be Okay When Things Are Not Okay. Lavery and Duffy take on two letters. First, from someone wondering how to support their extremely private friend and maintain boundaries. Another letter writer is monogamous, but has fallen for a polyamorous person.  If you enjoy this show, please consider subscribing. You can subscribe directly to Big Mood, Little Mood for as little as $2.99/month and get an additional episode of the podcast every Friday, as well as ad-free listening. You’ll also be supporting the work we do here on Big Mood, Little Mood. Sign up now at https://slate.com/moodplus. Need advice? Send Danny a question here. Email: [email protected] Production by Phil Surkis Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Danny Lavery welcomes Ethan Casteel, a software engineer and transgender man about town in Somerville, MA. Lavery and Casteel tackle three letters. First, from someone wondering how to talk to her child about transness. Another letter writer is trying to negotiate solo time away from their partner. A third letter is from someone who feels guilty accepting rent from their boyfriend. If you enjoy this show, please consider signing up for Slate Plus. Slate Plus members get an ad-free experience across the network and exclusive content on many shows—you’ll also be supporting the work we do here on Big Mood, Little Mood. Sign up now at Slate.com/MoodPlus to help support our work Need advice? Send Danny a question here. Email: [email protected] Production by Phil Surkis Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Danny Lavery welcomes Carmen Rita Wong, author of the recently published book, Why Didn’t You Tell Me? A Memoir. Lavery and Wong take on two letters. First, from someone concerned that her brother has been spiraling since going off his meds. Another letter writer is wondering how to extricate herself from her marriage without devastating her spouse. Plus, a deep dive in to Wong’s memoir, Why Didn’t You Tell Me? Resources if you know a family member or friend experiencing delusions: https://www.bcss.org/support/how-do-i-get-help-for-my-loved-one/steps-working-delusions/ If you enjoy this show, please consider signing up for Slate Plus. Slate Plus members get an ad-free experience across the network and exclusive content on many shows—you’ll also be supporting the work we do here on Big Mood, Little Mood. Sign up now at Slate.com/MoodPlus to help support our work Need advice? Send Danny a question here. Email: [email protected] Production by Phil Surkis Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Danny Lavery welcomes Lisa McIntire, a writer living in San Francisco with her dog, Toby. Lavery and McIntire take on two letters. First, someone who wants to tell her mom that she did protect her enough from her creepy uncle. Another letter writer wants to advocate for their boyfriend’s non-binary child, but doesn’t want to overstep boundaries.  If you enjoy this show, please consider signing up for Slate Plus. Slate Plus members get an ad-free experience across the network and exclusive content on many shows—you’ll also be supporting the work we do here on Big Mood, Little Mood. Sign up now at Slate.com/MoodPlus to help support our work Need advice? Send Danny a question here. Email: [email protected] Production by Phil Surkis Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Danny Lavery welcomes Amanda McLoughlin, the CEO of Multitude, an independent podcast collective and production company. She is also the longtime co-host of the podcast, Spirits. Lavery and McLoughlin take on two letters. First, someone who feels guilty about how they got their boyfriend to start doing house chores. Another letter writer is wondering how to repair a family rift over them coming out as trans.  If you enjoy this show, please consider signing up for Slate Plus. Slate Plus members get an ad-free experience across the network and exclusive content on many shows—you’ll also be supporting the work we do here on Big Mood, Little Mood. Sign up now at Slate.com/MoodPlus to help support our work Need advice? Send Danny a question here. Email: [email protected] Production by Phil Surkis Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Danny Lavery welcomes Rakesh Satyal, the author of the novels Blue Boy and No One Can Pronounce My Name. He is currently an Executive Editor at the HarperOne Group/HarperCollins.  Lavery and Satyal tackle two letters. First, someone who is trying to create distance with their mother who is thinking about moving next door. Another letter writer is wondering how to cultivate a chosen family. If you enjoy this show, please consider signing up for Slate Plus. Slate Plus members get an ad-free experience across the network and exclusive content on many shows—you’ll also be supporting the work we do here on Big Mood, Little Mood. Sign up now at Slate.com/MoodPlus to help support our work Need advice? Send Danny a question here. Email: [email protected] Production by Phil Surkis Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Danny Lavery welcomes Kat Kinsman, the executive features editor at Food & Wine, author of Hi, Anxiety: Life With a Bad Case of Nerves, and founder of Chefs With Issues, an ever-evolving project that addresses the mental health crisis in the hospitality industry. Lavery and Kinsman take on two letters. First, someone who believes their partner is wasting their time, studying for a career they are not qualified for. Another letter writer is wondering how to talk to her brother about his sexual assault of her when they were children.  Support for people recovering from sexual abuse RAINN (Rape, Abuse & Incest National Network) - https://www.rainn.org/ Survivors of Incest Anonymous - https://siawso.org/ Hidden Water - https://hiddenwatercircle.org/ If you enjoy this show, please consider signing up for Slate Plus. Slate Plus members get an ad-free experience across the network and exclusive content on many shows—you’ll also be supporting the work we do here on Big Mood, Little Mood. Sign up now at Slate.com/MoodPlus to help support our work Need advice? Send Danny a question here. Email: [email protected] Production by Phil Surkis Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Danny Lavery welcomes Danielle Moodie, host of the podcast, Woke AF, where she explores the many facets of what it means to be "woke" in our modern life.  Lavery and Moodie take on three letters. First, from a career counselor who wants to keep their students from exploring particular jobs. Another letter writer was scapegoated by his colleagues, but wants his life back. Finally, a letter writer is looking for advice on how to come out as non-binary to their father. If you enjoy this show, please consider signing up for Slate Plus. Slate Plus members get an ad-free experience across the network and exclusive content on many shows—you’ll also be supporting the work we do here on Big Mood, Little Mood. Sign up now at Slate.com/MoodPlus to help support our work Need advice? Send Danny a question here. Email: [email protected] Production by Phil Surkis Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Danny Lavery welcomes Margo Donohue, author of Filmed in Brooklyn, and co-host of the podcasts, Book Vs. Movie, Dorking Out, and What a Creep. Lavery and Donohue tackle two letters. First, someone who can no longer support her sister through her years long, turbulent breakup from her ex. Another letter writer has a feeling that their boyfriend might be trans, and is wondering how to bring it up. Plus, Donohue takes us on a deep dive through her new book, Filmed In Brooklyn, which is the result of over two years of writing, researching, and photographing over 250 films that take place and/or shot in Brooklyn.  If you enjoy this show, please consider signing up for Slate Plus. Slate Plus members get an ad-free experience across the network and exclusive content on many shows—you’ll also be supporting the work we do here on Big Mood, Little Mood. Sign up now at Slate.com/MoodPlus to help support our work Need advice? Send Danny a question here. Email: [email protected] Production by Phil Surkis Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Danny Lavery welcomes Emi Nietfeld, a writer, software engineer, and author of ACCEPTANCE: A Memoir. Her essays have appeared in The New York Times, The Rumpus, Vice, and many more publications. Lavery and Nietfeld take on two letters. First, someone trying to cope with a failed gender-affirming surgical procedure. Another letter writer is wondering how to have a conversation with her elderly mom about her mental health. Plus, a chat about Nietfeld’s memoir, Acceptance.  If you enjoy this show, please consider signing up for Slate Plus. Slate Plus members get an ad-free experience across the network and exclusive content on many shows—you’ll also be supporting the work we do here on Big Mood, Little Mood. Sign up now at Slate.com/MoodPlus to help support our work Need advice? Send Danny a question here. Email: [email protected] Production by Phil Surkis Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Danny Lavery welcomes Ginna Green, a strategist-consultant-movement-builder now helping Jewish (and other) organizations change through her new firm, Uprise. She is also the co-host, along with Lynn Harris, of the Jewish advice podcast, A Bintel Brief. Lavery and Green tackle two letters. First, someone who is trying to save a friendship with a friend who tends to drive most people away. Another letter writer is trying to hold boundaries with her brother, but is worried that he has no one else to help him. Plus, how A Bintel Brief podcast came to be. If you enjoy this show, please consider signing up for Slate Plus. Slate Plus members get an ad-free experience across the network and exclusive content on many shows—you’ll also be supporting the work we do here on Big Mood, Little Mood. Sign up now at Slate.com/MoodPlus to help support our work Need advice? Send Danny a question here. Email: [email protected] Production by Phil Surkis Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Danny Lavery welcomes Alyssa Knox, a night shift ICU nurse.  Lavery and Knox take on two letters. First, someone who’s hurt that their best friend didn’t attend their wedding. Another letter writer can’t get a word in edgewise with their energy vampire roommate. If you enjoy this show, please consider signing up for Slate Plus. Slate Plus members get an ad-free experience across the network and exclusive content on many shows—you’ll also be supporting the work we do here on Big Mood, Little Mood. Sign up now at Slate.com/MoodPlus to help support our work Need advice? Send Danny a question here. Email: [email protected] Production by Phil Surkis Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Danny Lavery welcomes Katie Tastrom, a sex worker and writer whose work focuses on disability justice. Her forthcoming book about prison abolition and disability justice is coming out in late 2023.  Lavery and Tastrom take on two letters. First, someone who received a marriage proposal from her depressed boyfriend. Another letter writer is wondering how to make it up to their friend after accidentally calling them by their deadname, and how to get their own family to start honoring their own chosen name. Plus, a sneak peek at Tastrom’s forthcoming book on abolition and disability justice. More on transition “traps”: https://www.thechatner.com/p/let-me-save-you-some-time-a-field https://www.thechatner.com/p/let-me-save-you-some-time-on-transitioning https://www.thechatner.com/p/the-stages-of-im-really-trying-to If you enjoy this show, please consider signing up for Slate Plus. Slate Plus members get an ad-free experience across the network and exclusive content on many shows—you’ll also be supporting the work we do here on Big Mood, Little Mood. Sign up now at Slate.com/MoodPlus to help support our work Need advice? Send Danny a question here. Email: [email protected] Production by Phil Surkis Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Danny Lavery welcomes Celeste Ng, the New York Times bestselling author of Everything I Never Told You and Little Fires Everywhere. Her third novel, Our Missing Hearts, will be published in October 2022.  Lavery and Ng tackle two letters. First, someone who is trying to find care for her friend’s paranoid mother. Another letter writer is upset that his friend group has befriended his stalker. Plus, a great deal on Sir Micheal Caine’s desk. Resources for caring for the elderly https://www.eldercaredirectory.org/state-resources.htm https://www.agingcare.com/articles/free-services-for-seniors-or-caregivers-156443.htm If you enjoy this show, please consider signing up for Slate Plus. Slate Plus members get an ad-free experience across the network and exclusive content on many shows—you’ll also be supporting the work we do here on Big Mood, Little Mood. Sign up now at Slate.com/MoodPlus to help support our work Need advice? Send Danny a question here. Email: [email protected] Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Danny Lavery welcomes Kate Beaton, author of the new graphic memoir Ducks: Two Years in the Oil Sands, which recounts the time she spent working and living in Canada’s oil industry man camps. Lavery and Beaton take on two letters. First, someone who wants to break-up with a partner who spent the entire relationship expecting this to happen. Another letter writer wants to set boundaries with her sister after a long period of estrangement. Plus, a deep dive into Beaton’s new graphic memoir, Ducks: Two Years in the Oil Sands. If you enjoy this show, please consider signing up for Slate Plus. Slate Plus members get an ad-free experience across the network and exclusive content on many shows—you’ll also be supporting the work we do here on Big Mood, Little Mood. Sign up now at Slate.com/MoodPlus to help support our work Need advice? Send Danny a question here. Email: [email protected] Production by Phil Surkis Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Danny Lavery welcomes Niko Stratis, a freelance culture writer whose work has appeared in outlets like SPIN, Autostraddle and more.  Lavery and Stratis tackle two letters. First, from someone whose partner’s request for alone time has them feeling single. Another letter asks what is one's parental obligation if your son commits a violent crime.  Slate Plus members get another episode of Big Mood, Little Mood every Friday: sign up now! Need advice? Send Danny a question here. Email: [email protected] Production by Phil Surkis Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Danny Lavery welcomes Austin Channing Brown, a media producer and author of the New York Times bestseller I’m Still Here: black dignity in a world made for whiteness.  Lavery and Channing Brown take on two letters. First, from someone in college wondering if they should date someone in high school. Another letter writer is wondering how to mend a friendship they didin’t realize they may have been neglecting. Plus, a listener update! Slate Plus members get another episode of Big Mood, Little Mood every Friday: sign up now! Need advice? Send Danny a question here. Email: [email protected] Production by Phil Surkis Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Danny Lavery welcomes Carey O’Donnell, a writer and comedian, who also co-hosts Sexy Unique Podcast.  Lavery and O’Donnell tackle two letters. First, from someone who’s worried that his boyfriend’s family of origin is trying to re-enter his life. Another letter writer is wondering how to be patient with an old friend who keeps crossing the line. Plus, a listener update! Slate Plus members get another episode of Big Mood, Little Mood every Friday: sign up now! Need advice? Send Danny a question here. Email: [email protected] Production by Phil Surkis Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Danny Lavery welcomes Kate Duffy, a New York based licensed clinical social worker who has worked as a therapist and clinical supervisor in a variety of settings, including shelters, residential group homes, and outpatient clinics.  Lavery and Duffy take on two letters. First, from someone who needs their bestie to stop giving them advice. Another letter writer is wondering how to confront her brother about past childhood sibling abuse. Plus, a listener update! Slate Plus members get another episode of Big Mood, Little Mood every Friday: sign up now! Need advice? Send Danny a question here. Email: [email protected] Production by Phil Surkis Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Danny Lavery welcomes Ty Mitchell, a writer and former gay porn performer based in Brooklyn, New York. He has written for The New Inquiry and Buzzfeed, and you can read his current newsletter, the First Openly Gay Book Club, at firstopenlygay.substack.com. Lavery and Mitchell tackle two letters. First, from someone who’s upset that his friends continue to associate with someone who is considered toxic. Another letter writer is wondering if he should ask to open up his relationship, or simply break-up.  Finally, someone writes in wondering if there is a way around correcting people about their gender. Slate Plus members get another episode of Big Mood, Little Mood every Friday: sign up now! Need advice? Send Danny a question here. Email: [email protected] Production by Phil Surkis Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Danny Lavery welcomes Jules Gill-Peterson, author of Histories of the Transgender Child and a co-host of Outward on Slate. Lavery and Gill-Peterson take on two letters. First, from someone who is feeling pressured to commit to a relationship from their entire friend group. Another letter writer is worried that they are going to drive their partner away by relying on them too much. Slate Plus members get another episode of Big Mood, Little Mood every Friday: sign up now! Need advice? Send Danny a question here. Email: [email protected] Production by Phil Surkis Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Danny Lavery welcomes Bridget Todd, the host of the iHeart Radio podcast, There Are No Girls On The Internet, and the founder of Unbossed Creative, a media company that makes podcasts and other digital content to push the needle on social change.  Lavery and Todd tackle two letters. First, from someone who doesn’t know how to live a life beyond working. Another letter writer has a partner who cannot remember when he says hurtful things. Slate Plus members get another episode of Big Mood, Little Mood every Friday: sign up now! Need advice? Send Danny a question here. Email: [email protected] Production by Phil Surkis Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Danny Lavery welcomes Helen Rosner, a staff writer at the New Yorker, where she covers all things culture, though most of it is about food.  Lavery and Rosner take on two letters. First, from someone who’s upset that their friend is going to college with the goal of finding a husband. Another letter writer is struggling with a new perspective on how her husband courted her.  Slate Plus members get another episode of Big Mood, Little Mood every Friday: sign up now! Need advice? Send Danny a question here. Email: [email protected] Production by Phil Surkis Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Danny Lavery welcomes Luisa Beck, a writer, reporter, and producer based out of Berlin, Germany. She’s the creator and host of the Audible Original Dear Poetry. Lavery and Beck tackle two letters. First, from someone who’s attracted to someone, except when they tell stories. Another letter writer is wondering how to become estranged from one single relative. Plus, behind the scenes of Beck’s podcast, Dear Poetry. Slate Plus members get another episode of Big Mood, Little Mood every Friday: sign up now! Need advice? Send Danny a question here. Email: [email protected] Production by Phil Surkis Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Danny Lavery welcomes R.O. Kwon, the nationally bestselling author of The Incendiaries and the co-editor of Kink. Lavery and Kwon take on three letters. First, from someone who’s missing a former bestie. Another letter writer is wondering if they should bring her ailing mother Buddist swastika symbols for comfort. Finally, a letter from someone who is wondering if they should stop doing particular thing they do to make cis people more comfortable. Slate Plus members get another episode of Big Mood, Little Mood every Friday: sign up now! Need advice? Send Danny a question here. Email: [email protected] Production by Phil Surkis Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Danny Lavery welcomes Noah Zazanis, an epidemiologist, writer, and prison abolitionist living in Queens, NY. His writing can be found in The New Inquiry, Pluto Press' Transgender Marxism anthology, and Obstetrics & Gynecology ("The Green Journal"). Lavery and Zazanis tackle two letters. First, from someone hesitating on coming out for fear of never being called the correct pronouns. Another letter writer is wondering if they should walk away from a relationship that they can sense is slipping away.  Slate Plus members get another episode of Big Mood, Little Mood every Friday: sign up now! Need advice? Send Danny a question here. Email: [email protected] Production by Phil Surkis Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Danny Lavery welcomes Kashana Cauley, writer for The Great North and the author of the forthcoming novel, The Survivalists. Lavery and Cauley take on two letters. First, from someone who is witnessing their coworkers play a potentially dangerous prank on their supervisor. Another letter writer is uncomfortable with the subject matter of their friend’s novel. Plus, a sneak peek at Cauley’s forthcoming novel, The Survivalists. Slate Plus members get another episode of Big Mood, Little Mood every Friday: sign up now! Need advice? Send Danny a question here. Email: [email protected] Production by Phil Surkis Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Danny Lavery welcomes Sasha Geffen, author of the book Glitter Up the Dark: How Pop Music Broke the Binary. Lavery and Geffen tackle two letters. First, from someone who is tired of being the only person holding that her friend came out to in their friend group. Another letter writer is trying to make sense of a hurtful breakup. Slate Plus members get another episode of Big Mood, Little Mood every Friday: sign up now! Need advice? Send Danny a question here. Email: [email protected] Production by Phil Surkis Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Danny Lavery welcomes Miles Klee, a senior staff writer for MEL magazine, and the author of the novel Ivyland. Lavery and Klee take on three letters. First, from someone who wants to tell her friend to stop paying for everything when they hang out. Another letter writer has upset their partner due to her tendency to offer unsolicited pet advice. Finally, Lavery responds to a letter writer who is wondering if they are a trans man. Slate Plus members get another episode of Big Mood, Little Mood every Friday: sign up now! Need advice? Send Danny a question here. Email: [email protected] Production by Phil Surkis Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Danny Lavery welcomes Jackie Keliiaa, a stand-up comedian, writer, and actor based in Oakland, California. She currently produces Good Medicine, a live comedy show featuring all Native comedians. Lavery and Keliiaa tackle two letters. First, from someone wondering about polyamorous etiquette, relative to his partner’s partner’s partner. Another letter writer is wondering if he should cut his losses with his employer, or stick with them through a potentially profitable transition. Plus, an update on the letter, “Which Friends? What Benefits?” Slate Plus members get another episode of Big Mood, Little Mood every Friday: sign up now! Need advice? Send Danny a question here. Email: [email protected] Production by Phil Surkis. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Danny Lavery welcomes Lindsay Kyle and Robyn O’Donnell, hosts of the podcast, Maladapted, in which they discuss books that have been adapted into movies.  Lavery, Kyle, and O’Donnell tackle two letters. First, from a letter writer being asked to delay their transition because their wife wants to have a baby. Another letter writer wants her mom to stop insulting her ailing dad. Plus, behind the scenes of the podcast, Maladapted.  Slate Plus members get another episode of Big Mood, Little Mood every Friday: sign up now! Need advice? Send Danny a question here. Email: [email protected] Production by Phil Surkis. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Danny Lavery welcomes Jane Rice, a civil servant, and Edward Szekely, a radiographer, who live in Edinburgh, Scotland with their 3 year old daughter and 6 year old cat.  Lavery, Rice, and Szekely take on two letters. First, from a young adult who wants to know why he can’t help lying to his parents. Another letter writer is trying to break their habit of using their dead name at work.  Slate Plus members get another episode of Big Mood, Little Mood every Friday: sign up now! Need advice? Send Danny a question here. Email: [email protected] Production by Phil Surkis. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Danny Lavery welcomes writer, comedian Dani Faith Leonard, who recently produced the film, Coast. Lavery and Faith Leonard tackle two letters. First, from a letter writer whose name change is ruffling feathers in her family. Another letter writer is worried about making small talk at their brother's wedding. Faith Leonard shares about producing the films Coast, Lez Bomb, and her live comedy show, Adult Sex Ed. Plus, a listener update! Slate Plus members get another episode of Big Mood, Little Mood every Friday: sign up now! Need advice? Send Danny a question here. Email: [email protected] Production by Phil Surkis. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Danny Lavery welcomes Dylan Marron, author of the book Conversations with People Who Hate Me, and the host and creator of the critically acclaimed podcast by the same name. Marron recently joined the writing staff of the Emmy-winning hit television series Ted Lasso. Lavery and Marron take on two letters. First, from a letter writer who doesn’t want to give up on his once supportive dad. Another letter writer wants to stop bickering with her husband over house chores. Plus, the story behind Marron’s book and podcast, Conversations with People Who Hate Me. Slate Plus members get another episode of Big Mood, Little Mood every Friday: sign up now! Need advice? Send Danny a question here. Email: [email protected] Production by Phil Surkis Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Danny Lavery welcomes Maud Newton, author of Ancestor Trouble: A Reckoning and a Reconciliation. Lavery and Newton tackle two letters. First, from a letter writer who doesn’t want to tell her new boyfriend about her cancer diagnosis. Another letter writer is worried that her favorite aunt can’t stop talking about her political organization. Plus, a deep dive into Newton’s new book, Ancestor Trouble: A Reckoning and a Reconciliation. Slate Plus members get another episode of Big Mood, Little Mood every Friday: sign up now! Need advice? Send Danny a question here. Email: [email protected] Production by Phil Surkis Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Danny Lavery welcomes Jessica Nordell, a science journalist and the author of the book The End of Bias: A Beginning. Lavery and Nordell take on two letters. First, from a letter writer who’s at her wits end with her friend’s racist comments. Another letter writer has caught her friend faking the symptoms of autism. Plus a deep dive into Nordell’s book, The End of Bias: A Beginning. Slate Plus members get another episode of Big Mood, Little Mood every Friday: sign up now! Need advice? Send Danny a question here. Email: [email protected] Production by Phil Surkis Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Danny Lavery welcomes June Thomas, co-host of the Slate podcast “Working”, which explores the creative process. Lavery and Thomas take on two letters. First, from a letter writer who is wondering how to be comfortable in their own body when their sense of self is constantly changing. Another letter writer is wondering if they should tell their friend that they saw their date committing domestic abuse. Plus, Lavery asks Thomas about the inspiration for her forthcoming book about lesbian spaces. Slate Plus members get another episode of Big Mood, Little Mood every Friday: sign up now! Need advice? Send Danny a question here. Email: [email protected] Production by Phil Surkis Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Danny Lavery welcomes Marissa Gouverne, a documentary and commercial editor living in New York City. Lavery and Gouverne tackle two letters. First, from a letter writer who’s wondering how to avoid the same mistakes when dating. Another letter writer is asking how to maintain extended family relationships after cutting off their parents. Plus, Lavery and Gouverne talk about Steve Allen, Fred Astaire, and low grade ailments. Slate Plus members get another episode of Big Mood, Little Mood every Friday: sign up now! Need advice? Send Danny a question here. Email: [email protected] Production by Phil Surkis Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Danny Lavery welcomes Daniel Shannon, a senior software engineer and technical lead at Vox Media, where he works on digital editorial content. Lavery and Shannon take on two letters. First, from a letter writer who’s wondering if her cousin is “love bombing” their girlfriend, and if she should say something about it. Another letter writer is asking what to do now that they realize they don’t respect a friend that they’ve been supporting for years. Slate Plus members get another episode of Big Mood, Little Mood every Friday: sign up now! Need advice? Send Danny a question here. Email: [email protected] Production by Phil Surkis Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Danny Lavery welcomes Esther Jaffee, a marine microbiologist who specializes in algal biochemistry. Lavery and Jaffee tackle two letters. First, from a letter writer who caught her boyfriend lying about his plans to move away with her. Another letter writer is wondering if it’s time to tell off their boss. Plus, Jaffee shares the latest and greatest from the world of algae. Slate Plus members get another episode of Big Mood, Little Mood every Friday: sign up now! Need advice? Send Danny a question here. Email: [email protected] Production by Phil Surkis Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Danny Lavery welcomes author Heather Havrilesky, who recently published the book, Foreverland: On the Divine Tedium of Marriage. She also writes the Ask Polly advice column. Lavery and Havrilesky take on two letters. First, from someone who feels resentment over a former lover’s new relationship. Another letter writer is wondering whether sharing an old family memory will be helpful or harmful. Plus, a deep dive into Havrilesky’s new book. Slate Plus members get another episode of Big Mood, Little Mood every Friday: sign up now! Need advice? Send Danny a question here. Email: [email protected] Production by Phil Surkis Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Danny Lavery welcomes Kyle Turner, a queer freelance writer based in Brooklyn, NY. Turner is a contributor to Paste Magazine, and his writing on film and culture has been featured in The Village Voice, GQ, Slate, Vanity Fair, and the New York Times. Lavery and Turner tackle two letters. First, from someone who's not sure if they should identify as a lesbian give their history. Another letter writer is wondering how to support a close friend who is moving far, and also not get in her way. Plus, Turner shares about his Stephen Sondheim’s Follies themed birthday extravaganza.  Slate Plus members get another episode of Big Mood, Little Mood every Friday: sign up now! Need advice? Send Danny a question here. Email: [email protected] Production by Phil Surkis Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Danny Lavery welcomes Laura Leigh Abby, a writer and star and subject of a new documentary podcast series from Paradiso Media called Seventeen: Conversations with My Teenage Self.  Lavery and Abby take on two letters. First, from someone who's worried that her wife will discover her bullying past. Another letter writer is wondering how to get her husband to stop suggesting that she tries polyamory. Plus a look into what inspired Abby’s new documentary podcast.  Slate Plus members get another episode of Big Mood, Little Mood every Friday: sign up now! Need advice? Send Danny a question here. Email: [email protected] Production by Phil Surkis Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Danny Lavery welcomes comedian, author and host of the Emmy® Award-winning docu-series United Shades of America, W. Kamau Bell. Bell is also the director of the new Showtime docu-series called We Need To Talk About Cosby, which wrestles with the conversations of the #MeToo movement.  Lavery and Bell tackle two letters. First, from someone who was taken aback to find out that their team considers them a “toxic boss”. Another letter writer is wondering if they should make more of an effort to connect to a trans community. Plus, a deep dive into Bell’s w Showtime docu-series, We Need To Talk About Cosby. Slate Plus members get another episode of Big Mood, Little Mood every Friday: sign up now! Need advice? Send Danny a question here. Email: [email protected] Production by Phil Surkis Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Danny Lavery welcomes Sarah Marshall, and a writer, media critic, and host of the modern history podcast, You’re Wrong About. She is also the co-host of the “feelings podcast about movies” You Are Good with Alex Steed.   Lavery and Marshall take on two letters. First, from someone wanting to approach their neighbor about their barking dogs. Another letter writer is concerned about scaring off a romantic relationship because of their non-traditional chosen family. Plus, Marshall takes us behind the scenes of her two podcasts.. Slate Plus members get another episode of Big Mood, Little Mood every Friday: sign up now! Need advice? Send Danny a question here. Email: [email protected] Production by Phil Surkis Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Danny Lavery welcomes Rabbi Danya Ruttenberg, author of the forthcoming book: On Repentance and Repair: Making Amends In An Unapologetic World. Lavery and Ruttenberg tackle two letters. First, from someone wondering if she should let her fiancée know that she doesn’t like her friends. Another letter is contemplating returning to a religious cult after experiencing the outside world. Plus, a behind the scenes preview of Rabbi Ruttenberg’s forthcoming book, On Repentance and Repair: Making Amends In An Unapologetic World. Slate Plus members get another episode of Big Mood, Little Mood every Friday: sign up now! Need advice? Send Danny a question here. Email: [email protected] Production by Phil Surkis Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Danny Lavery welcomes Michael Gerber, the editor and publisher of The American Bystander, an all-star print humor quarterly.  Lavery and Gerber take on two letters. First, from someone trying to stop her girlfriend’s mom from insulting her daughter as being “too butch”. Another letter writer is concerned about a one caring neighbor who has now turned creepy. Plus, Lavery asks Gerber about his favorite zines.  Slate Plus members get another episode of Big Mood, Little Mood every Friday: sign up now! Need advice? Send Danny a question here. Email: [email protected] Production by Phil Surkis Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Hey listeners! Here's another podcast from Slate you might like. For three years, Stoya and Rich Juzwiak have been giving advice to Slate readers on all things sex—mismatched libidos, secret desires, (bad) sexting, surprising fetishes, and assorted other wild things. Now they're joining forces to answer their most jaw-dropping questions yet, sometimes with the help of special guests. Whatever you want to know about sex—truly, whatever—they'll tell you how to do it. If you like this episode, subscribe to How To Do It wherever you listen to podcasts. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Danny Lavery welcomes Kyle Lukoff, a pre-tipping point transsexual who used to be a school librarian but now writes children's books full-time. Lavery and Lukoff tackle two two letters. First, from someone who’s close friend is shaming them for having a long distance relationship. Another letter writer is overwhelmed with the choices at a sperm bank. Plus, Lukoff talks about publishing his first board book.  Slate Plus members get another episode of Big Mood, Little Mood every Friday: sign up now! Need advice? Send Danny a question here. Email: [email protected] Production by Phil Surkis Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Danny Lavery welcomes Colette Arrand, a transsexual poet from Athens, Georgia. She is the author of the poetry collection Hold Me Gorilla Monsoon, and is the editor of FanFyte, the wrestling section of Fanbyte Media. Lavery and Arrand take on two letters. First, from someone who can’t stop thinking about their partner’s dating history. Another letter writer identifies as a lesbian, but is getting push-back from her friends. Plus, Lavery asks Arrand about her lifelong passion for poetry and wrestling. Slate Plus members get another episode of Big Mood, Little Mood every Friday: sign up now! Need advice? Send Danny a question here. Email: [email protected] Production by Phil Surkis Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Danny Lavery welcomes Wendy Lee, an associate professor in the English Department at New York University. She studies and writes about the history of the novel and philosophies of emotions and is currently working on a new book called Jane Austen & the End of Life. Lavery and Lee tackle two letters. First, from someone who wants to have a third child, despite her husband’s concern about passing along a rare genetic condition. Another letter writer is depressed about getting cut off by her close friend, and is wondering how much she can push for answers. Plus Lavery and Lee discuss Jane Austen and her devoted fans, or “Janeites”. Slate Plus members get another episode of Big Mood, Little Mood every Friday: sign up now! Need advice? Send Danny a question here. Email: [email protected] Production by Phil Surkis Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Danny Lavery welcomes Ali Vingiano is a filmmaker and actor, whose work includes writing and producing for the Emmy-winning series The Morning Show, and starring in her first feature film, The End Of Us. Lavery and Vingiano take on two letters. First, from someone who is exhausted by people trying to guess why she is ill. Another letter writer is mortified that a neighbor has started angrily knocking on their door while they’re having sex. Plus, a deep dive into Vingiano’s first feature film, The End Of Us. Slate Plus members get another episode of Big Mood, Little Mood every Friday: sign up now! Give the gift of Plus to a fellow Slate fan and they’ll receive all the benefits of membership: unlimited reading, ad-free listening, bonus content, and so much more. Learn more here. Need advice? Send Danny a question here. Email: [email protected] Production by Phil Surkis Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Danny Lavery welcomes Olivia Charmaine Morris, Founder & CEO of Black Monarch Entertainment. Her new IG Live lifestyle series, "The Tea," invites celebrity guests to participate in intimate conversations.  Lavery and Charmaine Morris tackle three letters. First, from someone wondering if the grief they feel for a teacher from their distant past is out of proportion. Another letter writer is trying not to get discouraged in finding a musical mentor. Our final letter is from someone whose close friends always start dating each other. Slate Plus members get another episode of Big Mood, Little Mood every Friday: sign up now! Need advice? Send Danny a question here. Email: [email protected] Production by Phil Surkis Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Danny Lavery welcomes Edgar Gomez, the author of the forthcoming memoir High-Risk Homosexual, about coming-of-age as a queer, Latinx person in a culture of machismo.  Lavery and Gomez take on two letters. First, from someone wondering how to confront their subtly transphobic boss. Another letter writer is wondering what the rules are for dating when you are a pre-T trans guy. Gomez takes us “behind the scenes” into the making of his memoir. Plus, a listener update from “Sad in the Southwest”. Slate Plus members get another episode of Big Mood, Little Mood every Friday: sign up now! Need advice? Send Danny a question here. Email: [email protected] Production by Phil Surkis Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Danny Lavery welcomes Jo Livingstone, the culture staff writer for The New Republic, and the most recent recipient of the Nona Balakian Citation for Excellence in Reviewing from the National Book Critics' Circle. Lavery and Livingstone take on two letters. First, from an office manager who wants to make sure everyone feels free to use their preferred pronouns. Another letter writer is overwhelmed by her friend’s requests to “pray for them”.  Slate Plus members get another episode of Big Mood, Little Mood every Friday: sign up now! Need advice? Send Danny a question here. Email: [email protected] Production by Phil Surkis Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Danny Lavery welcomes Tori Bedford, a writer and journalist based in Boston. Lavery and Bedford take on two letters. First, from a letter writer who isn’t sure how to let her new social circle know that they are not transgender. Then, another letter writer is wondering how to create better boundaries with her new, overbearing mother-in-law. Plus Bedford discusses her recent work on the “Mass and Cass” area of Boston. Slate Plus members get another episode of Big Mood, Little Mood every Friday: sign up now! Need advice? Send Danny a question here. Email: [email protected] Production by Phil Surkis Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Danny Lavery welcomes Grace Bonney, author of Collective Wisdom: Lessons, Inspiration, and Advice from Women over 50. Lavery and Bonney take on two letters. First, from a letter writer who’s scared to let his family know that his passion is poetry. Another letter writer is trying to figure out how to stop solving everyone’s crises, and have a life of their own. Plus, a deep dive into Bonney’s Collective Wisdom. Slate Plus members get another episode of Big Mood, Little Mood every Friday: sign up now! Need advice? Send Danny a question here. Email: [email protected] Production by Phil Surkis Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Danny Lavery welcomes Folu Akinkuotu, the creator of Unsnackable, a newsletter about rare and inaccessible snacks around the world. Lavery and Akinkuoto tackle two letters: First, from a letter writer who thinks her boyfriend should save his life and quit his job. Another letter writer is wondering how to talk about weight loss without offending anyone at work. Plus, the story behind Unsnackable. Slate Plus members get another episode of Big Mood, Little Mood every Friday: sign up now! Need advice? Send Danny a question here. Email: [email protected] Production by Phil Surkis Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Danny Lavery welcomes adrienne maree brown, an author and the writer in residence at the Emergent Strategy Ideation Institute. brown recently published Grievers, the first in her novella series with Black Dawn Imprint. She’s also the co-host of the podcasts, How To Survive The End Of The World, and Octavia’s Parables. Lavery and brown tackle two letters: First, from a letter writer can’t help her spouse to help out while she’s pregnant. Another letter writer is afraid they might have ruined a friendship after saying too much while drunk. Plus, a deep dive into brown’s Grievers. Slate Plus members get another episode of Big Mood, Little Mood every Friday: sign up now! Need advice? Send Danny a question here. Email: [email protected] Production by Phil Surkis Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Danny Lavery welcomes Daniel Cohen, a Ph.D. chemical biologist working at a small biotech startup that is developing a new generation of antibiotics and anticancer drugs.  Lavery and Cohen take on three letters: First, from a letter writer whose laid-up roommate is barking demands. Another letter writer is wondering how to get started in getting involved in community issues. Plus, a check-in into the world of chemical biology.  Slate Plus members get another episode of Big Mood, Little Mood every Friday: sign up now! Need advice? Send Danny a question here. Email: [email protected] Production by Phil Surkis Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Danny Lavery welcomes Melissa Hughs, an R&D Scientist who designs medical tests.  Lavery and Hughs take on three letters: First, from a letter writer who wants to cut off their parents, but not the rest of their family. Another letter writer is wondering how to establish online friendships. Finally, a lightning round question about how to introduce your trans teenager. Slate Plus members get another episode of Big Mood, Little Mood every Friday: sign up now! Need advice? Send Danny a question here. Email: [email protected] Production by Phil Surkis Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Danny Lavery welcomes Lux Alptraum, the creator and co-host of Audible’s Say You’re Sorry, a podcast about public apologies — the ones that worked, the ones that failed, and, most of all, the ones that we can all learn from. Lavery and Alptraum read two letters: First, from a letter writer who is wondering how to get her friends to back off from flirting with her girlfriend. Another writer wants to overcome her guilt for mocking her date on social media. Plus, reframing apologies as good things. Slate Plus members get another episode of Big Mood, Little Mood every Friday. Sign up for Slate Plus now and get $25 off your first year. Need advice? Send Danny a question here. Email: [email protected] Production by Phil Surkis Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Danny Lavery welcomes Uli Beutter Cohen, a New York City–based documentarian, artist, and the creator of Subway Book Review. Her first book, Between the Lines: Stories from the Underground, will be published on October 26th. Lavery and Beutter Cohen tackle two letters: First, from a letter writer who is wondering how to trust a once close friend who hurt her. Another writer wants to overcome her jealousy to experiment with an open marriage. Plus a deep dive in Beutter Cohen’s new book, Between the Lines. Slate Plus members get another episode of Big Mood, Little Mood every Friday. Sign up for Slate Plus now and get $25 off your first year. Need advice? Send Danny a question here. Email: [email protected] Production by Phil Surkis Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Danny Lavery welcomes Margaret Josephs, author of the memoir, Caviar Dreams, Tuna Fish Budget: How To Survive In Business and Life. Josephs also hosts a podcast with the same  Lavery and Josephs tackle three letters: First, from a letter writer who discovered some alarming issues after becoming her grandmother's bookkeeper. Another writer doesn’t know whether to share or destroy her box of letters written during a tough time. The final letter is from someone questioning the “rules” of ghosting. Plus, a deep dive into Joseph’s new book. Slate Plus members get another episode of Big Mood, Little Mood every Friday. Sign up for Slate Plus now and get $25 off your first year. Need advice? Send Danny a question here. Email: [email protected] Production by Phil Surkis Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Danny Lavery welcomes Catherine Baab-Muguira, author Poe for Your Problems: Uncommon Advice from History’s Least Likely Self-Help Guru. Lavery and Baab-Muguira tackle three letters: First, from a letter writer who’s feeling overwhelmed in her polyamorous relationship. Another writer is wondering if she should tell the people who live in her childhood home about a secret room. The final letter is from someone wondering if they should rethink giving away part of their inheritance. Plus, a deep dive into Baab-Muguira’s new book. Slate Plus members get another episode of Big Mood, Little Mood every Friday: sign up now! Need advice? Send Danny a question here. Email: [email protected] Production by Phil Surkis Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Danny Lavery welcomes Angelica Jade Bastién, essayist for New York Magazine’s site, Vulture. Lavery and Bastién tackle two letters: First, from a writer who is wondering if it’s reasonable to revive a casual friendship. The second letter is from someone who is wondering if she should identify herself as disabled. Plus, Lavery and Bastién talk about how Billy Wilder films can often be just what the doctor ordered. Slate Plus members get another episode of Big Mood, Little Mood every Friday: sign up now! Need advice? Send Danny a question here. Email: [email protected] Production by Phil Surkis Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Danny Lavery welcomes Divya Victor, a poet, author, and an Associate Professor of English at Michigan State University. She recently published CURB (Nightboat Books), which documents how immigrants and Americans navigate the liminal sites of everyday living. Lavery and Victor tackle two letters: First, from a letter writer who is wondering how to tell her friend that she may have married a criminal. Another letter writer is wondering if she should just fail most of her students, since online classes have made it easier to plagiarize.  Slate Plus members get another episode of Big Mood, Little Mood every Friday: sign up now! Need advice? Send Danny a question here. Email: [email protected] Production by Phil Surkis Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Danny Lavery welcomes Marissa Miller, author of Pretty Weird: Overcoming Impostor Syndrome and Other Oddly Empowering Lessons (Skyhorse)  Lavery and Miller tackle two letters: First, from a letter writer who is wondering if she should put the energy into exposing her ex-husband’s lies. Another letter writer is wondering how to keep their really bad FOMO from upsetting their partner.   Slate Plus members get another episode of Big Mood, Little Mood every Friday: sign up now! Need advice? Send Danny a question here. Email: [email protected] Production by Phil Surkis Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Danny Lavery welcomes journalist Zack Budryk, and photographer Charlie Stern. Together, Budryk and Stern co-host the relationship podcast Stim4Stim.  Lavery, Budryk and Stern tackle two letters. First, from a letter writer who is wondering why they feel scorn from strangers on a daily basis. Another letter writer who has fallen in love with her therapist. Plus, a deep dive into how the Stim4Stim podcast came to be. Slate Plus members get another episode of Big Mood, Little Mood every Friday: sign up now! Need advice? Send Danny a question here. Email: [email protected] Production by Phil Surkis Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Danny Lavery welcomes Kate Duffy, a licensed clinical social worker who has worked as a therapist in a variety of settings, including shelters, residential group homes, and outpatient clinics.  Lavery and Duffy read two letters: First, from a letter writer who is wondering how to get her dad to stop talking about family she has no interest in. Another letter writer is wondering how to combat loneliness while living on a sparsely populated island. Slate Plus members get another episode of Big Mood, Little Mood every Friday: sign up now! Need advice? Send Danny a question here. Email: [email protected] Production by Phil Surkis Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Danny Lavery welcomes Anna Rubanova and Adam Bozarth, who are both founding members of the sketch comedy group, Left Handed Radio. They are also both producers at the Forever Dog podcast network. Lavery, Rubanova, and Bozarth tackle two letters: First, from a letter writer who is wondering how to get her boyfriend to stop making insensitive comments. Another letter writer needs help procuring weed for the first time. Plus, a lightning round about when friends ask you to keep their infidelities a secret. Slate Plus members get another episode of Big Mood, Little Mood every Friday: sign up now! Need advice? Send Danny a question here. Email: [email protected] Production by Phil Surkis Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Danny Lavery welcomes Abby McEnany, mainstay of the Chicago improvisational comedy scene, and the creator of the Showtime comedy series, Work In Progress, and Celeste Pechous, a writer and actress, who also stars in Work In Progress, portraying Abby’s best friend, Campbell.  Lavery, McEnany, and Pechous tackle three letters: First, from a letter writer who is wondering how to find the right therapist. Another letter writer is wondering how to explain her asexuality to her family. The last letter is about someone who feels they lose their friends when they have babies. Plus, a deep dive into season 2 of Showtime’s critically acclaimed series, Work In Progress. Need advice? Send Danny a question here. Email: [email protected] Production by Phil Surkis Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Danny Lavery welcomes Jenée Desmond-Harris, Slate’s Dear Prudence. She was previously a senior staff editor at the New York Times, where she is now a contributing opinion writer. Lavery and Desmond-Harris dig into two letters: First, from a letter writer who is wondering how to handle her friend’s bestie who always makes her feel bad. Another letter writer is wondering how to live with a body that feels like an enemy. Plus, two Dear Prudences compare notes. Slate Plus members get another episode of Big Mood, Little Mood every Friday: sign up now! Need advice? Send Danny a question here. Email: [email protected] Production by Phil Surkis Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Danny Lavery welcomes Dr. Paula Stone Williams, an internationally known speaker on gender equity, LGBTQ advocacy, and religious tolerance. Lavery and Williams dig into two letters: First, from a letter writer who is wondering how to crank up the family support for a non-binary niece. Another letter writer is wondering how to know if their decision to undergo top surgery is the right one. Plus, a deep dive into Williams new book, As A Woman: What I Learned about Power, Sex, and the Patriarchy after I Transitioned. Slate Plus members get another episode of Big Mood, Little Mood every Friday: sign up now! Need advice? Send Danny a question here. Email: [email protected] Production by Phil Surkis Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Danny Lavery welcomes Kat Chow, a reporter and author of the forthcoming memoir, Seeing Ghosts. Lavery and Chow tackle two letters: First, from a letter writer who is wondering how to trust a partner with a history of cheating. Another letter writer is wondering if her emotional affair with her best friend should be taken more seriously. Also, Chow takes a deep dive into Seeing Ghosts. Slate Plus members get another episode of Big Mood, Little Mood every Friday: sign up now! Need advice? Send Danny a question here. Email: [email protected] Production by Phil Surkis Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Danny Lavery welcomes author Rebecca Carroll, who recently published her critically acclaimed memoir, Surviving the White Gaze. Lavery and Carroll give advice to a letter writer who is wondering how to distance herself from her abusive mom. Also, Carroll goes in depth about the experiences that inspired her memoir, and a lighting round question about a conservative co-worker.  Slate Plus members get another episode of Big Mood, Little Mood every Friday: sign up now! Need advice? Send Danny a question here. Email: [email protected] Production by Phil Surkis Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Danny Lavery welcomes Julian K. Jarboe, author of the LAMBDA Award-winning short story collection, Everyone on the Moon is Essential Personnel.  Lavery and Jarboe give advice to a letter writer who is wondering if her friend group will recover after discovering a secret relationship among two members. Also in this episode, Jarboe reads an excerpt from their piece, Trauma As Morality. Slate Plus members get another episode of Big Mood, Little Mood every Friday: sign up now! Need advice? Send Danny a question here. Email: [email protected] Production by Phil Surkis Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Danny Lavery welcomes songwriter, novelist, and leader of the American band the Mountain Goats, John Darnielle.   Lavery and Darnielle give advice to a letter writer who is wondering if she should align with her partner's religion. Also in this episode, Darnielle discusses The Mountain Goats just-released collection of songs, Dark In Here. Slate Plus members get another episode of Big Mood, Little Mood every Friday: sign up now! Need advice? Send Danny a question here. Email: [email protected] Production by Phil Surkis Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Danny Lavery welcomes Hallie Bateman, an illustwriter based in Los Angeles. She is the author of three books, including What To Do When I’m Gone, and Directions. Lavery and Bateman give advice to a letter writer questioning her own ethics about her decision to stop foster parenting. Also in this episode, the characteristics of mommy's girls, foursome etiquette, and a deep dive about Bateman’s new book, Directions. Slate Plus members get another episode of Big Mood, Little Mood every Friday: sign up now! Need advice? Send Danny a question here. Email: [email protected] Production by Phil Surkis Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Danny Lavery welcomes writer and actor Mara Wilson. Lavery and Wilson give advice to a letter writer who is wondering if she should disclose her depression to her boss and risk jeopardizing her job. Also, stories about mean grandmothers, and flailing hotel clerks.  Slate Plus members get another episode of Big Mood, Little Mood every Friday: sign up now Need advice? Send Danny a question here. Email: [email protected] Production by Phil Surkis. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Danny Lavery welcomes Sophie Lewis, the author of essays about octopus sex, theoretical screeds about capitalism, and numerous texts about family abolition, including the 2019 book Full Surrogacy Now: Feminism Against Family.  Lavery and Lewis give advice to a letter writer who is wondering how to set boundaries with a family that is siding with her abusive father. They also discuss a “soft version” of family abolition, and take a deep dive into the novel, Detransition, Baby. Slate Plus members get another episode of Big Mood, Little Mood every Friday, sign up now for just $1 for your first month. Need advice? Send Danny a question here. Email: [email protected] Production by Phil Surkis Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Danny Lavery welcomes Inkoo Kang, a TV critic for The Washington Post, and host of the podcast, All About Almodóvar.  Lavery and Kang give advice to a letter writer experiencing job burnout and wondering if she’ll feel hopeless forever. They also take a deep dive with their own experience with job burnout, which somehow leads to a discussion on who was actually wearing wigs on the TV show Mare of Easttown. Slate Plus members get another episode of Big Mood, Little Mood every Friday, sign up now for just $1 for your first month. Email: [email protected] Need advice? Send Danny a question here. Production by Phil Surkis Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Danny Lavery welcomes actress Gates McFadden. McFadden is the host of the new podcast, Gates McFadden Investigates: Who Do You Think You Are?  Lavery and McFadden give advice to a letter writer who’s not thrilled about his wife’s botox injections. Also, McFadden talks about her transformative experience at the Jacques Lecoq school in Paris, and connecting with her former Star Trek co-stars on her new podcast. Slate Plus members get another episode of Big Mood, Little Mood every Friday, sign up now for just $1 for your first month. Need advice? Send Danny a question here. Production by Phil Surkis Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Danny Lavery welcomes author of How to Write an Autobiographical Novel, Alexander Chee. Lavery and Chee give advice to a letter writer whose partner revealed his abusive, jealous personality only after moving in together. Also, Lavery and Chee talk about finding a good therapist, couples therapy via 90s films, and all sorts of monogamies. Slate Plus members get another episode of Big Mood, Little Mood every Friday, sign up now for just $1 for your first month. Need advice? Send Danny a question here. Production by Phil Surkis Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

On this first episode of Big Mood, Little Mood, Danny Lavery starts to shed his almost 5 years of being “Dear Prudence”, and stretches out with his first guest, Aubrey Gordon. Gordon is a columnist for SELF Magazine and the author of What We Don't Talk About When We Talk About Fat. She also co-hosts Maintenance Phase, a podcast that debunks and decodes weight loss and wellness trends. Lavery and Gordon give advice to a letter writer who is unsure where she stands with her husband after 18 years, and another letter writer whose partner’s picky eating may be a health risk. Also, Lavery and Gordon chop it up on diet culture, books tours, John Candy as Orson Wells, Warhammer, and so, so much more. Slate Plus members get an extra episode of Big Mood, Little Mood every Friday, Sign up now for just $1 for your first month. Need advice? Send Danny a question here. Email: [email protected] Production by Phil Surkis Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Listeners: This will be the last week of the Dear Prudence podcast, as Danny Lavery is ending his run as Prudence. But keep listening to this feed—Danny’s new show, Big Mood, Little Mood with Danny Lavery, will premiere next week! Prudence is joined this week by Kate Duffy, a licensed clinical social worker in New York.  Prudie and Duffy dig into letters about what to do when your husband bites your finger hard during an argument, should you intervene when you hear a neighbor yelling at a child, how to handle finding out that your friend group is always hanging out without you, how to know if a friendship with your one-time bestie is still salvageable.  Slate Plus members get an additional mini-episode this podcast every Friday. Sign up now to listen.  Production by Phil Surkis Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Prudence is joined this week by Maddy Court, a writer and zinemaker. Her first book, The Ex-Girlfriend of My Ex-Girlfriend is My Girlfriend, an almanac of relationship advice for queer women with art and comics by Kelsey Wroten, is forthcoming from Chronicle Books. Prudie and Court tackle letters about how to protect your daughter from sexual harassment in her first restaurant job, should you tell your mom to stop talking about how much she regrets her past, what actions to take when you find out that your ex-husband cheated with your now deceased mother, what to do when you and your husband don’t agree on how to handle an your increasingly aggressive dog.  Slate Plus members get an additional mini-episode of Dear Prudence every Friday. Sign up now to listen.  Email: [email protected]  Production by Phil Surkis Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Prudence is joined this week by Anna Sale, the creator and host of Death, Sex & Money, the podcast from WNYC Studios. Her new book, Let’s Talk About Hard Things, will be published on May 4th. Prudie and Sale dig into letters about whether you should join a lawsuit against an academic advisor who was both harmful and helpful, what to consider when your wife donates money to strangers on Instagram, how to handle a sister that needs to share every little detail about her life with you. Slate Plus members get an additional mini-episode of Dear Prudence every Friday. Sign up now to listen.  Email: [email protected]  Production by Phil Surkis Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Prudence is joined this week by Harry Eskin, a moving-image archivist based in Los Angeles. Prudie and Eskin dig into letters about if you should apologize for past conversations where you claim a heritage that you truly don’t identify as, how to talk to your mother about the way she neglected your sibling when you were children, should you preemptively write an apology on Linkedin for a racist costume you wore for your employer 10 years ago. Slate Plus members get an additional mini-episode of Dear Prudence every Friday. Sign up now to listen.  Email: [email protected]  Production by Phil Surkis Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Prudence is joined this week by Charlie Jane Anders, the author of Victories Greater Than Death, the first book in a new young-adult trilogy coming in April 2021, along with the forthcoming short story collection Even Greater Mistakes. She’s also the co-host of the podcast, Our Opinions Are Correct, along with Annalee Newitz. Prudie and Anders tackle letters about how to support your brother in his new relationship when you’re uncomfortable with their age gap, what actions to take when you’re living with family who neglect the needs of their toddler, what to consider when your teenager prefers the pronoun “it”. Slate Plus members get an additional mini-episode of Dear Prudence every Friday. Sign up now to listen.  Email: [email protected]  Production by Phil Surkis Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Prudence is joined this week by Leigh Bardugo, the New York Times-bestselling author of Ninth House and the creator of the Grishaverse (coming soon to Netflix). Her short stories can be found in multiple anthologies, including Best American Science Fiction & Fantasy. Prudie and Bardugo dig into letters about how to support your non-binary child while avoiding their abusive father, how to handle your boss’s wife who’s always sharing hateful gossip with you, what to consider when you miss a relative that may not like you, what to consider when intellectual debates with your husband always turn into arguments. Slate Plus members get an additional mini-episode of Dear Prudence every Friday. Sign up now to listen.  Email: [email protected]  Production by Phil Surkis Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Prudence is joined this week by Sarah Jaffe, the author of Work Won’t Love You Back: How Devotion to Our Jobs Keeps Us Exploited, Exhausted and Alone, and Necessary Trouble: Americans in Revolt, both from Bold Type Books. She’s also the co-host, with Michelle Chen, of Dissent magazine’s Belabored podcast. Prudie and Jaffe tackle letters about how to support your undocumented partner through their job search, what to consider when your partner stays in touch with her past abusive partners, what to do when your childhood fib about having hearing loss follows you into adulthood. Slate Plus members get an additional mini-episode of Dear Prudence every Friday. Sign up now to listen.  Email: [email protected]  Production by Phil Surkis Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Prudence is joined this week by Claire Cox, a writer and high school teacher and author of the forthcoming novel Silver Beach.  Prudie and Cox dig into letters about what to do when your wife wants you to review all her work emails before she hits send, how to steer clear of your abusive mom so you can see your siblings, what to do when your boyfriend gets defensive when you make suggestions that could help him at work, how to handle a cool reaction from colleagues at your decision to leave teaching in public school for private school. Slate Plus members get an additional mini-episode of Dear Prudence every Friday. Sign up now to listen.  Email: [email protected] Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Prudence is joined this week by Jaya Saxena, a staff writer at Eater. Her latest book, Crystal Clear, an essay collection about how humans assign meaning and power to objects, was published in December with Quirk Books.  Prudie and Saxena tackle letters about how to handle a sister who’s adamant that you change to a vegan diet, how to tell your husband that you will file for divorce if he gets a pet, what actions to take when your sister-in-law is neglecting her baby, how to handle a family that is prematurely planning your wedding just because you’re dating someone nice. Slate Plus members get an additional mini-episode of Dear Prudence every Friday. Sign up now to listen.  Email: [email protected]  Production by Phil Surkis Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Prudence is joined this week by Rax King, the James Beard award-nominated writer of Tacky (forthcoming from Vintage Books in 2021) as well as the host of the podcast Low Culture Boil.  Prudie and King dig into letters about whether you should hire someone who shares a last name with the most prominent Nazi who ever lived, what to consider when your wife tells the same stories over and over again, what actions to take with a partner who asks you questions with irritation about every thing you do, how to express to your therapist that it may be time to take a break, how to be less judgmental of your friends on social media. Slate Plus members get an additional mini-episode of Dear Prudence every Friday. Sign up now to listen.  Email: [email protected]  Production by Phil Surkis Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Prudence is joined this week by Karen K. Ho, a business and economics reporter for Quartz based in New York City. She has been published in Time, GQ, Glamour, Vox, Toronto Life, the San Francisco Chronicle, the Columbia Journalism Review and the new, critically-acclaimed true crime anthology Unspeakable Acts.  Prudie and Ho tackle letters about how to decide if you will pay for your son’s girlfriend’s abortion, should you wait to break up with your boyfriend until his leaves the job that you both share, what to consider when you wife doesn’t like your tendency to be calm when she is upset, how to reconcile your feelings with a mom who will never understand the pain she caused you growing up, should you let your now estranged husband see you after he so abruptly and painfully left your life, how to handle the heartbreak when your boyfriend of three years breaks up with you. Slate Plus members get an additional mini-episode of Dear Prudence every Friday. Sign up now to listen.  Email: [email protected]  Production by Phil Surkis Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Prudence is joined this week by Julia Turshen, the author of the critically acclaimed cookbooks, Now & Again, Feed the Resistance, and Small Victories. Her new cookbook was released this month, and it’s titled, Simply Julia. She’s also the host of the podcast, Keep Calm and Cook On.   Prudie and Turshen dig into letters about what to consider with a daughter who you fear smokes and eats too much, how to handle an ailing mom who makes you feel bad about your weight, how to get colleagues to stop addressing you as “dear”, what to consider when you find it distasteful that your sister is giving non-professional advice on the internet. Slate Plus members get an additional mini-episode of Dear Prudence every Friday. Sign up now to listen.  Email: [email protected]  Production by Phil Surkis Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Prudence is joined this week by Uma Kondabolu, the mother of comedian and prior Prudie guest, Hari Kondabolu.  Prudie and Kondabolu tackle letters about how to hold boundaries with a daughter who keeps begging for money, how to handle parents who won’t eat at your home because you allow cats in the kitchen, what to do when you’re put off by your family’s love of owning firearms, what to consider when your husband’s will leaves everything to his elderly parents and not your own children, what to consider when your boyfriend gets his ex-wife pregnant at the same time time you’re carrying his baby, what actions to take when you discover that your wife is a functioning alcoholic. Slate Plus members get an additional mini-episode of Dear Prudence every Friday. Sign up now to listen.  Email: [email protected]  Production by Phil Surkis Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Prudence is joined this week by Alexis Coe, a historian and the New York Times bestselling author of You Never Forget Your First: A Biography of George Washington. She was a producer on Doris Kearns Goodwin's Washington series on the History Channel, and is also a producer on the film adaptation of her first book, Alice + Freda Forever: A Murder in Memphis.  Prudie and Coe dig into letters about what to consider when your developmentally delayed daughter now shows interest in sex, should you let your girlfriend’s child know that their mom is a survivor of sexual abuse, what to do when your 35 year old best friend is having an inappropriate friendship with a 17 year old, how to be a support to your partner when you feel you have no bandwidth to be supportive. Slate Plus members get an additional mini-episode of Dear Prudence every Friday. Sign up now to listen.  Email: [email protected]  Production by Phil Surkis Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Prudence is joined this week by Chau Tu, a writer, podcast producer, and the editor of Slate Plus. Prudie and Tu tackle letters about what to do when when your husband wants the two of you to move abroad to care for his mother and you don’t want to go, what to consider when you suspect your sister doesn’t really need the wheelchair she uses, how to meet people after an extended period of social isolation, what to do when you’re estranged from your sister but want to maintain connections to her children. Slate Plus members get an additional mini-episode of Dear Prudence every Friday. Sign up now to listen.  Email: [email protected]  Production by Phil Surkis Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Prudence is joined this week by Annalee Newitz, a science journalist, science fiction writer, and contributor to the New York Times opinion section. They are the author of the book Four Lost Cities: A Secret History of the Urban Age, and the novels The Future of Another Timeline, and Autonomous, which won the Lambda Literary Award. Prudie and Newitz dig into letters about what to do when you suspect your daughter’s sudden interest in civil rights issues is only to show off for her new boyfriend, what actions to take when your partner doesn’t respect your safe-word during sex, how to handle feeling “not relevant” and “too old” at the age of 26, what to consider when you are only attracted to your partner on days they present masculine.  Slate Plus members get an additional mini-episode of Dear Prudence every Friday. Sign up now to listen.  Email: [email protected]  Production by Phil Surkis Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Prudence is joined this week by culture critic, podcast host and author, Kristen Meinzer. Meinzer currently hosts the podcasts Movie Therapy with Rafer & Kristen, and the podcast By The Book. Her books include So You Want to Start a Podcast, How to Be Fine (co-written with Jolenta Greenberg), and Return to Intercourse: An Amish Romance. She was named a 2020 Woman of the Year by The Women's Center in Washington DC.   Prudie and Meinzer tackle letters about what to do when your best friend is engaged to an abusive partner, how to handle it when your dad is out in the open about cheating on your mom, what to do when even an apology isn’t helping you recover from a friend argument, what actions to take when a boss calls you on zoom at inappropriate hours, how to address your concern with a friend who has moved towards nightly drinking. Slate Plus members get an additional mini-episode of Dear Prudence every Friday. Sign up now to listen.  Email: [email protected]  Production by Phil Surkis Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Prudence is joined this week by Noah Kulwin, the co-host of Blowback, a political history podcast. He's also an associate editor at The Drift and a contributing editor at Jewish Currents. Prudie and Kulwin dig into letters about what actions to take with a niece who has been stealing from family and neighbors for years, how to handle a stubborn dad who prioritizes his side hustles over seeing his grandkids, what to do when your husband refuses to stop wearing sacred underclothes despite having left the Mormon church years ago, should you continue to see a guy that your family disapproves of.  Slate Plus members get an additional mini-episode of Dear Prudence every Friday. Sign up now to listen.  Email: [email protected]  Production by Phil Surkis Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Prudence is joined this week by Colby Gordon, an English professor at Bryn Mawr College, where he teaches weird gay poems. Prudie and Gordon tackle letters about what to do when you fear that transitioning would hurt your career, what to consider when your partner leaves you feeling vulnerable about your finances, how to talk to a close friend about her transphobic comments, how to handle regret over not supporting your trans and non-binary friends prior to you coming out as trans, what to consider when you stumble upon your friend’s fanfic Tumblr page. Slate Plus members get an additional mini-episode of Dear Prudence every Friday. Sign up now to listen.  Email: [email protected]  Production by Phil Surkis Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Prudence is joined this week by Bijan Stephen, a reporter at The Verge, a music critic at The Nation, and a video game columnist at The Believer. He plays T.K. on the actual play podcast Fun City, hosts a couple shows on Twitch, and his writing has appeared in The New Yorker, The New York Times, Esquire, and elsewhere. Prudie and Stephen dig into letters about How to come to terms with a long ago relationship you now realize was inappropriate, what to do when your always negative sister-in-law decides to move to your town, how to decide when or if you’ll tell your parents that you’re legally changing your name, what to consider when you feel like you’re competing for your boyfriend’s attention with his female bestie.  Slate Plus members get an additional mini-episode of Dear Prudence every Friday. Sign up now to listen.  Email: [email protected]  Production by Phil Surkis Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Prudence takes a look at some of the many memorable letters of 2020 with Grace Lavery, Calvin Kasulke, Toni Golan-Vilella, Lizzy Marmon, Justine D’Souza, and Jack Doyle. Prudie and company tackle letters about how to decide if you should you let your best friend raise your troubled daughter, what to consider about rewarding weight loss by getting a breast lift, how to handle a husband who gets upset when you mention missing the food from a restaurant that conflicts with your politics, what to do with a mother who only became proud of your job in a grocery in light of the pandemic, and should you report a childhood friend who’s now lying about her upbringing to solicit donations. Slate Plus members get an additional mini-episode of Dear Prudence every Friday. Sign up now to listen.  Email: [email protected]  Production by Phil Surkis Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Prudence is joined this week by Harron Walker, an award-winning freelance journalist who lives in Brooklyn. Her work has appeared in GQ, Esquire, and Out, and she is a longtime Jezebel contributor. Prudie and Walker tackle letters about how to handle a mother-in-law who wants to refer to you as an “aunt” rather than admitting your baby has two moms, what to consider when you suspect your partner is transitioning and is reluctant to talk about it, should you let your parents know before you legally change your name.  Slate Plus members get an additional mini-episode of Dear Prudence every Friday. Sign up now to listen.  Email: [email protected]  Production by Phil Surkis Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Prudence is joined this week by Max Jacobs, a radio and podcast producer based in New York. Long ago, he helped produce this show. Prudie and Jacobs dig into letters about what to do when a neighbor’s cigarette smoke creeps into your apartment, how to cope with your mom’s passive aggressive behavior, what to do when your privileged partner complains about his job, should your wife be more careful about hiding her pot smoking from the kids. Slate Plus members get an additional mini-episode of Dear Prudence every Friday. Sign up now to listen.  Email: [email protected] Production by Phil Surkis Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Prudence is joined this week by Diana Stegall, the creator of the popular French history podcast, The Land of Desire. Prudie and Stegall tackle letters about what to consider when bad experiences with therapists leave you wondering if you even know how to “do therapy”, what to do when you realize that your husband is a secret daily smoker, how to handle family who aren’t comfortable that you have the same first name as your partner, should you tell your brother-in-law that your sister is cheating on him. Slate Plus members get an additional mini-episode of Dear Prudence every Friday. Sign up now to listen.  Email: [email protected]  Production by Phil Surkis Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Prudence is joined this week by Avery Trufelman, the host of the podcast The Cut, from New York Magazine, as well as Nice Try! a podcast from Curbed about utopian experiments.  Prudie and Trufelman dig into letters about what to do when you find out that your coworker is engaged to your controlling ex-fiancé, how to handle working in the same industry as a triggering ex-boyfriend, should you feel guilty for drunkenly kissing straight women in college now that you’ve come out as a lesbian, what to consider when you don’t want to spend free time with your husband. Slate Plus members get an additional mini-episode of Dear Prudence every Friday. Sign up now to listen.  Email: [email protected]  Production by Phil Surkis Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Prudence is joined this week by Sarah Hagi, a writer based in Toronto, Canada Prudie and Hagi tackle letters about what to do when your wife gets really upset when you waste any food, what actions to take when you find out that your abusive ex may be harming his new and possibly underage girlfriend, how to connect with a friend who has joined a cult, what to do when an injury ends your sports career, how to stand up to your good friend when they say racist things.  Slate Plus members get an additional mini-episode of Dear Prudence every Friday. Sign up now to listen.  Email: [email protected]  Production by Phil Surkis Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Prudence is joined this week by Alicia Harris, a self-described public health nerd based in Oakland, CA. Harris works as a foundation program officer, directing resources to reproductive health, rights and justice organizations. Prudie and Harris dig into letters where a woman is wondering if it’s okay to cheat if she hasn’t had sex in her marriage for 5 years, what to do when your husband moves out because he hates being a father, but still wants to see you, what to ask your students to call you when you’re trans and still exploring your identity, should you hide your relationship in an area where you are legally below the age of consent. Slate Plus members get an additional mini-episode of Dear Prudence every Friday. Sign up now to listen.  Email: [email protected]  Production by Phil Surkis Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Prudence is joined this week by Davey Davis, who writes about culture and sexuality. Their first novel, the earthquake room, is available through TigerBee Press. They write a newsletter about people named David at itsdavid.substack.com.  Prudie and Davis tackle letters about what to do when your father refuses your attempts at reconciliation, how to steer your family away from triggering you during quarantine, what to consider when sharing your traumatic past with potential partners. Plus, Prudie and Davis respond to a voicemail from a woman who is trying to forgive herself for being in a transactional sex arrangement with someone she now finds repulsive.  Slate Plus members get an additional mini-episode of Dear Prudence every Friday. Sign up now to listen.  Email: [email protected]  Production by Phil Surkis Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Prudence is joined this week by Anna Hetherington, who has a doctorate in Renaissance Art History, wants to teach visual literacy to the world, and is pretty obsessed with her dog Wilson, sweetened condensed milk, and her friends. Prudie and Hetherington dig into letters about should you take action with your brother’s dogs peeing in the shared vacation condo, what to consider when your partner discovered your dating app profile, what to do after witnessing your boss verbally abusing her partner on zoom, how to help your wife who’s started believing conspiracy theories, how to handle a husband who still looks at porn despite a promise not to do so.  Slate Plus members get an additional mini-episode of Dear Prudence every Friday. Sign up now to listen.  Email: [email protected]  Production by Phil Surkis Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Prudence is joined this week by Violet Allen, a science fiction writer based in Chicago. Prudie and Allen tackle letters about what to consider when you don’t think your wife is up to the task of home-schooling the kids, what actions to take when your girlfriend never lets you take space from an argument, what to do when everything about your relationship is stellar except the sex, what to do when you have a crush on your boyfriend’s best friend. Get $5 off Danny’s latest book, Something That May Shock and Discredit You, at slate.com/danny. Slate Plus members get an additional mini-episode of Dear Prudence every Friday. Sign up now to listen.  Email: [email protected]  Production by Phil Surkis Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Prudence is joined this week by Isaac Fellman, a writer and an archivist at the GLBT Historical Society, where he gets to tell the story of San Francisco's queer history. His fantasy novel about traumatized mountain climbers, The Breath of the Sun, won a 2019 Lambda Literary Award. Prudie and Fellman dig into letters about what to do when your ex-husband spoils your daughters with lavish gifts, how much should you conceal your “sugar daddy” arrangement at home, how to tell your sister to stop talking to you like one of her sixth grade students, what to do when you feel like people are dismissing your identity as “not gay enough”, what to consider when your new live in partner wants to display his trinkets from childhood all over the house. Get $5 off Danny’s latest book, Something That May Shock and Discredit You, at slate.com/danny. Slate Plus members get an additional mini-episode of Dear Prudence every Friday. Sign up now to listen.  Email: [email protected]  Production by Phil Surkis Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Prudence is joined this week by Amanda McLoughlin, a podcaster and businesslady who runs Multitude, a podcast collective and production studio located in Greenpoint, Brooklyn. She co-hosts Spirits, a boozy dive into mythology and folklore, and Join the Party, a collaborative storytelling podcast powered by the rules of Dungeons & Dragons. Prudie and McLoughlin tackle letters about what to do when you can’t find anyone to date who meets your standards, should you and your husband keep ignoring his biological child who lives across the country, how to extricate yourself from helping your sister hide her relationship from your parents, what to do with a husband who does not accept that his son is bisexual, what to do with a partner who never eats the leftovers they insist they’re going to eat. Get $5 off Danny’s latest book, Something That May Shock and Discredit You, at slate.com/danny. Slate Plus members get an additional mini-episode of Dear Prudence every Friday. Sign up now to listen.  Email: [email protected]  Production by Phil Surkis Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Prudence is joined this week by Austin Channing Brown, an author, speaker and media producer providing inspired leadership on racial justice in America. She is the New York Times Bestselling author of I’m Still Here: Black Dignity in a World Made for Whiteness and the Executive Producer of The Next Question: a web series imagining how expansive racial justice can be. Prudie and Channing Brown dig into letters about what to do when you can’t stand spending time with your kids, what to consider when your wife is ready to have a baby and you’re not, how to have a relationship with your half-siblings without having one with the father you share, should you sell your deceased roommate's graphic novel collection to make up for the rent he owed to you. Get $5 off Danny’s latest book, Something That May Shock and Discredit You, at slate.com/danny. Slate Plus members get an additional mini-episode of Dear Prudence every Friday. Sign up now to listen.  Email: [email protected]  Production by Phil Surkis Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Prudence is joined this week by Dr. Jennifer M. Buck, an Assistant Professor of Practical Theology at Azusa Pacific University. Her books and research explore themes of global Christianity, Quakerism, gender, race and popular culture. She also is a licensed minister and helps pastor a church in Pasadena, CA where she lives with her husband and foster son.  Prudie and Buck tackle letters about what to do when your husband reveals that he’s competitive with you about weight loss, should you feel guilty about thinking about future partners while taking care of your wife who has cancer, what to do when your partner's mom furnishes your home with lots of homemade quilts, how to protect your grand-niece from her abusive father, what to consider when your boyfriend refuses to marry you, even for the purpose of sharing health care. Get $5 off Danny’s latest book, Something That May Shock and Discredit You, at slate.com/danny. Slate Plus members get an additional mini-episode of Dear Prudence every Friday. Sign up now to listen.  Email: [email protected]  Production by Phil Surkis Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Prudence is joined this week by the critic at large for Vox, Emily VanDerWerff. VanDerWerff is the co-creator of the fiction podcast Arden and the co-author of the book Monsters of the Week: The Complete Critical Companion to The X-Files. Prudie and VanDerWerff dig into letters about what to do when your family wants you to give your kidney for your abusive dad, how to handle a partner who’s horrified about you quitting social media, what to consider when your ex-wife wants you to babysit her child that’s not yours, what to consider when your girlfriend wants to get rid of the furniture that was chosen by your ex. Slate Plus members get an additional mini-episode of Dear Prudence every Friday. Sign up now to listen.  Email: [email protected]  Production by Phil Surkis Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Prudence is joined this week by Charlie Markbreiter, who is an editor at The New Inquiry, cohost of the Art is Easy gathering, mod prince at the Death Panel discord, and a PhD student at the CUNY Graduate Center.  Prudie and Markbreiter tackle letters that ask if it’s unethical to apply to a job you don’t really need when unemployment is so high, what to consider after cheating on your live-in partner with someone in your new apartment complex, should you worry about enabling internalized racism because you’re dating a Black man, what to do when you constantly think about abandoning your disabled spouse.  Get $5 off Danny’s latest book, Something That May Shock and Discredit You, at slate.com/danny. Slate Plus members get an additional mini-episode of Dear Prudence every Friday. Sign up now to listen.  Email: [email protected]  Production by Phil Surkis Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Prudence is joined this week by novelist A.E. Osworth. Their first book, We Are Watching Eliza Bright, is forthcoming from Grand Central Publishing in April 2021 (and is available for pre-order now). They teach creative writing at The New School, Catapult, Fledgling and The New York Society Library. Prudie and Osworth dig into letters about what to do with an ongoing affair you’ve kept from your spouse for years, how to handle a roommate who abandoned your apartment and left you with all the responsibility, do you have to reveal all of your dietary habits to potential roommates, how to get a sense of closure after being randomly cut off from a boyfriend, what to consider if you’re unsure about going on your first same sex date.   Slate Plus members get an additional mini-episode of Dear Prudence every Friday. Sign up now to listen.  Email: [email protected]  Production by Phil Surkis Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Prudence is joined this week by Michelle Dean, a writer based in Los Angeles. Dean is the author of Sharp: The Women Who Made An Art of Having an Opinion, and the co-creator of Hulu’s Emmy and Golden-Globe-winning The Act. Prudie and Dean tackle letters about what to consider when you want to pursue a polyamourous relationship with your boyfriend and your best friend, what to do when your propensity for making fun of people has left you with no friends, how to navigate a relationship with your partner while also having sexual conversations online with men, what actions to take when a manager at your job refers to himself as your “master”. Slate Plus members get an additional mini-episode of Dear Prudence every Friday. Sign up now to listen.  Email: [email protected]  Production by Phil Surkis Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Prudence is joined this week by Elizabeth Sampat, a game developer, writer, and troublemaker whose work has been covered on Vice, Polygon, and the LA Times. Prudie and Sampat dig into letters about what to consider when your biological mom doesn’t acknowledge your relationship in social media, what to do when you find an iPad that reveals your teenage daughter was “sexting” with her friends, should you keep paying a beloved nanny even though she no longer watches your kids, how to handle a heterosexual friend who frequently calls herself gay, should you tell your husband that you tricked him into having your third child. Slate Plus members get an additional mini-episode of Dear Prudence every Friday. Sign up now to listen.  Email: [email protected]  Production by Phil Surkis Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Prudence is joined this week by Shruti Swamy, author of the short story collection A House Is a Body, and the recipient of two O. Henry awards. She lives in San Francisco. Prudie and Swamy tackle letters about how to handle a roommate who insists on interrupting your dates by bringing her cat out to play with you, what to do about being excluded from friend’s social events because you’re single, how to decline a friend’s wedding due to pandemic concerns and not offend them, should you see the same therapist as your crush, what actions to take with a close friend who only talks about themselves. Slate Plus members get an additional mini-episode of Dear Prudence every Friday. Sign up now to listen.  Email: [email protected]  Production by Phil Surkis Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Prudence is joined this week by Hannah Selector, co-host of the Castle Rock Historical Society podcast and co-host of the YouTube series, Reel Horror. Prudie and Selector dig into letters about what to do when you can’t move past a one-time threat of violence from your sister-in-law, how to handle a girlfriend who’s chronically late, what to do after learning that your wife’s close friend hit on her at a party, should you keep your history of having an abortion a secret from your adult sons, should you contact the other jilted partner of you ex’s affair to share how you feel about the ex-partners. Slate Plus members get an additional mini-episode of Dear Prudence every Friday. Sign up now to listen.  Email: [email protected]  Production by Phil Surkis Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Prudence is joined this week by Natalie Walker, a performer and writer. Walker has contributed to Vulture, The Cut, and Bookforum, and can be found onstage frequently at 54 Below, Ars Nova, and Joe’s Pub. Her television credits include (and are limited to) Search Party and BoJack Horseman. Prudie and Walker tackle letters about whether there’s anything wrong with donating your inheritance to a struggling colleague that you don’t know that well, how to handle your anonymous twitter account that has now become a contentious public forum, what to consider when your husband demands that you choose between him or your family, what’s the appropriate way to address your students who have experienced family deaths, what to do when your mother-in-law to be throws out the only photos you had of your pregnant girlfriend who died in a tragic car accident. Plus, Prudie and Walker discuss a voicemail from someone who’s wondering how to stop the passive aggressive slights coming from her mother-in-law.  Slate Plus members get an additional mini-episode of Dear Prudence every Friday. Sign up now to listen.  Email: [email protected]  Production by Phil Surkis Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Prudence is joined this week by Ben Gullard, a creative technologist living in Brooklyn, NY.  Prudie and Gullard dig into letters about what to know about a niece who’s angry at you for getting the dog sitter fired after finding out she did her job naked, what to do about a roommate who routinely brings stolen groceries into the house, how to handle feeling like you’re abandoning your lesbian community now that you are in a straight relationship, should you reach out to an ex you treated badly, how to handle a friend who revealed their homophobia after you came out. Slate Plus members get an additional mini-episode of Dear Prudence every Friday. Sign up now to listen.  Email: [email protected]  Production by Phil Surkis Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Prudence is joined this week by writer Aminatou Sow and journalist Ann Friedman. Together, Sow and Friedman host the long-running podcast Call Your Girlfriend, and have recently released their first book, Big Friendship. Prudie, Sow and Friedman tackle letters about how to ask your mother-in-law if you can repurpose the very lavish ring she gifted you, what to consider with a young daughter who relentlessly pretends to be demonically possessed, what to do when your boyfriend leaves stains on the bed sheets from masturbating, how to politely follow up with someone who offered to buy you a gift, what to do when your friends and your therapist feel that your gift giving is excessive.  Slate Plus members get an additional mini-episode of Dear Prudence every Friday. Sign up now to listen.  Email: [email protected]  Production by Phil Surkis Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Prudence is joined this week by Soleil Ho, the restaurant critic for the San Francisco Chronicle and the host of the Chronicle’s new food podcast, Extra Spicy. Prudie and Ho dig into letters about how to handle a husband who never likes what you cook for him, what actions to take when your supervisor requires you to ask permission to use the restroom, what to do when a housemate accuses you of “bullying” because you don’t share your meals with her. Slate Plus members get an additional mini-episode of Dear Prudence every Friday. Sign up now to listen.  Email: [email protected]  Production by Phil Surkis Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Prudence is joined this week by Krystal Farmer, who works in book publishing and lives in Oakland. Prudie and Farmer tackle letters about if you should move from your lover’s house because you don’t see a future together even though all is fine at the moment, what to do when the biological father of your baby, a fling with a much younger man, wants to be part of your child’s life, what to consider when you’ve been gifted second hand clothes that the original owner now wants back, how to handle discovering a racist conversation your girlfriend had on Facebook years ago. Slate Plus members get an additional mini-episode of Dear Prudence every Friday. Sign up now to listen.  Email: [email protected]  Production by Phil Surkis Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Prudence is joined this week by Rachel Fershleiser, who works in book publishing, is the co-creator of the Six-Word Memoir project, and once made a zine about soup. Prudie and Fershleiser dig into letters about what to consider when you discover that your mom secretly lives in a nudist colony, should you tell your pregnant girlfriend that it’s medically impossible that it’s your baby and you know she cheated on you, how to tell your friend that you think she may have dementia, what to do about a neighbor who keeps a racist statute on their front lawn, what to do when your ex-cop boyfriend sides with the police after watching an indefensible video of police violence, what to consider about starting a family with a wife who you think does not eat healthy.  Slate Plus members get an additional mini-episode of Dear Prudence every Friday. Sign up now to listen.  Read Daniel Lavery's latest book, a memoir/essay collection about pop culture, religion, and transition called “Something That May Shock and Discredit You,” available through Bookshop or Amazon. Email: [email protected]  Production by Phil Surkis Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Prudence is joined this week by Milisa Burke, a Brooklyn based tech worker, and part of the program committee for New York’s Asian American International Film Festival.  Prudie and Burke tackle letters about what to do when you accidentally screen share erotic fan fiction during a zoom business meeting, how to tell your friend to stop pretending to be Black in an online group about Black women’s hair, should you try to lose weight even though you think it’ll make your spouse feel bad, should you send a birthday card to your estranged mom, what to consider with an abusive, drinking husband who occasionally tries to get help. Slate Plus members get an additional mini-episode of Dear Prudence every Friday. Sign up now to listen.  Read Daniel Lavery's latest book, a memoir/essay collection about pop culture, religion, and transition called “Something That May Shock and Discredit You,” available through Bookshop or Amazon. Email: [email protected]  Production by Phil Surkis Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Prudence is joined this week by Christina Tucker, a contributing writer for Autostraddle, and a rotating fourth chair on NPR’s Pop Culture Happy Hour.  Prudie and Tucker dig into letters about how to deal with a friend’s request for money to hire an expensive divorce lawyer, what to do when your husband’s quarantine beard is turns you off, how to avoid taking off your shoes in friend’s homes without explaining your medical condition that requires you wear them, how to shut down your mother’s plans to throw you a Disney-themed wedding, what you can do to support your best friends who are moving away. Plus, Prudie and Tucker respond to a voicemail from a listener whose aunt won’t stop sending her articles about The Holocaust.  Slate Plus members get an additional mini-episode of Dear Prudence every Friday. Sign up now to listen.  Read Daniel Lavery's latest book, a memoir/essay collection about pop culture, religion, and transition called “Something That May Shock and Discredit You,” available through Bookshop or Amazon. Email: [email protected]  Production by Phil Surkis Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Prudence is joined this week by Peter Labuza, an incoming Postdoctoral Fellow at the University of Southern California, where he just defended his dissertation “When A Handshake Meant Something: Lawyers, Deal Making, and the Emergence of New Hollywood.”  Prudie and Labuza tackle letters about how to take a week “off the grid” from your family that likes to talk often, should you allow your nephew to use his education trust fund to support his soon to arrive baby, what to do when you find out that your friend makes military weapons for a living, should you to offer to make weekly meals for your colleague and his family who are isolating, how to handle a mom who keeps mentioning your recently deceased dog, how to allocate kitchen time in a four-roommate household during quarantine.  Slate Plus members get an additional mini-episode of Dear Prudence every Friday. Sign up now to listen.  Read Daniel Lavery's latest book, a memoir/essay collection about pop culture, religion, and transition called “Something That May Shock and Discredit You,” available through Bookshop or Amazon. Email: [email protected]  Production by Phil Surkis Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Prudence is joined this week by Nastia Voynovskaya, a Russian-born, Oakland-based journalist and one of the arts and culture editors at KQED, San Francisco's NPR station. She covers the intersections of the arts, activism, labor, pop culture, the Bay Area and more.  Prudie and Voynovskaya dig into letters about how to plan for your mothers funeral during a pandemic, what to consider when your wife seems less and less interested in sex, should you marry someone who doesn’t match your high sex drive, what to do when your wife insists that you sleep on the couch after hearing your work phone ring in the middle of the night, what to consider when your husband doesn’t get along with one of the family dogs.  Slate Plus members get an additional mini-episode of Dear Prudence every Friday. Sign up now to listen.  Read Daniel Lavery's latest book, a memoir/essay collection about pop culture, religion, and transition called “Something That May Shock and Discredit You,” available through Bookshop or Amazon. Email: [email protected]  Production by Phil Surkis Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Prudence is joined this week by Sarah Jones, a Tony- and Obie Award-winning performer and writer known for her multi-character, one-person shows, including her current, critically acclaimed show Sell/Buy/Date. Prudie and Jones tackle letters about how to find peace while your family argues about your stepson's wedding, what to do when you are in quarantine away from your boyfriend and his roommates flirt with him, what to consider when your brother-in-law starts dating someone who looks like you, should you reach out to long-lost friends during quarantine, what to consider when it seems like your boyfriend will never propose, and how to handle discovering that your husband is a real jerk to his work colleagues.  Slate Plus members get an additional mini-episode of Dear Prudence every Friday. Sign up now to listen.  Read Daniel Lavery's latest book, a memoir/essay collection about pop culture, religion, and transition called “Something That May Shock and Discredit You,” available through Bookshop or Amazon. Email: [email protected]  Production by Phil Surkis Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Prudence is joined this week by Jasmine Sanders, a writer from the south side of Chicago. Prudie and Sanders dig into letters about what to do when neighbors treat your private yard like a public park, what to consider when your husband insists that both of you live with his mom indefinitely, how to handle the constant practicing from your concert pianist roommate, how to tell your parents that you write erotica for a living, is there a polite way to ask your potential partners about their mental health, what actions to take when the manager of your co-working space uses it as a place to have sex. Slate Plus members get an additional mini-episode of Dear Prudence every Friday. Sign up now to listen.  Email: [email protected]  Production by Phil Surkis Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Prudence is joined this week by Jack Doyle, an LGBTQ healthcare advocate, historian, and journalist originally hailing from New England. Prudie and Doyle tackle letters about what do you when your ex lies to everyone about why you left him, should you report a childhood friend who’s now lying about her upbringing to solicit donations, what to know when you increase your time flirting on chat sites during quarantine, how to handle a boyfriend who insists that you both go to bed at the same time, what to consider about the anxiety you feel during hormone replacement therapy. Slate Plus members get an additional mini-episode of Dear Prudence every Friday. Sign up now to listen.  Email: [email protected]  Production by Phil Surkis Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Prudence is joined this week by Cecilia Corrigan, a Brooklyn based award-winning writer and performer. Corrigan’s poetry collection, Titanic, was released in 2014. Since then, she has released the short film Crush and web series Le Balm.  Prudie and Corrigan tackle letters about what to when your husband calls out his deceased wife’s name during sex, what actions to take when you hear domestic violence next door, but you don’t trust the police to handle it, should you try to get your favorite skillet back form a friend during a global pandemic, what to say to a friend who chided you for not social distancing enough, what to know when your sister asks that you return a dog that you’ve taken care of for 3 years, what to consider when your roommates are being antisocial while in quarantine together.  Slate Plus members get an additional mini-episode of Dear Prudence every Friday. Sign up now to listen.  Email: [email protected]  Production by Phil Surkis Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Prudence is joined this week by Justine D’Souza, who creates help content for a not-for-profit organization focused on international education and global mobility. She also counsels youth, young adults, and caregivers for a crisis helpline.  Prudie and D’Souza dig into letters about what to do with a mother who only became proud of your grocery store job in light of the pandemic, what to know about a fiance with an annual ritual of honoring his former fiance who was murdered, should you demand that your son’s girlfriend, who moved into your home, go on birth control, how to handle a partner who, even though you’re expecting a baby, doesn’t watch his finances, what to do when your husband doesn’t stand up to his dad for making “creepy old man” comments to you in social media.  Slate Plus members get an additional mini-episode of Dear Prudence every Friday. Sign up now to listen.  Email: [email protected]  Production by Phil Surkis Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Prudence is joined this week by Monika Tomsinski, an indoorsy introvert who loves novels, pop culture, historic places, and chocolate. She lives in Seattle with her spouse and small dog. Prudie and Tomsinski tackle letters about what to do when your ex insists on a busy child custody schedule during a global pandemic, how to handle anger towards a boyfriend who didn’t social distance and contracted COVID-19, what to do about noisy neighbors that you can’t talk to in person due to quarantine, what actions to take when you are often misgendered, but don’t want to change the way you dress, how to protect your girlfriend from her abusive sister. Slate Plus members get an additional mini-episode of Dear Prudence every Friday. Sign up now to listen.  Email: [email protected]  Production by Phil Surkis Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Prudence is joined this week by Toni Golan-Vilella, who helps nonprofits get what they need out of software, and Lizzy Marmon, who secures grants and donor relationships for cultural institutions. Together, they live in Brooklyn. Prudie, Golan-Vilella and Marmon dig into letters about what to do when you don’t align with your husband’s right wing values, how to handle a husband who got angry at you for mentioning that you miss the chicken from a politically incorrect restaurant, what actions to take when your open office space isn’t conducive to getting work done, what to consider when folks in your large friends group get upset when you initiate smaller outings that don’t include everyone, what to do when your work subordinate that you’re friendly with and who idolizes you does a terrible job. Slate Plus members get an additional mini-episode of Dear Prudence every Friday. Sign up now to listen.  Email: [email protected]  Production by Phil Surkis Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Prudence is joined this week by Matt Lubchansky, the associate editor of The Nib, and a cartoonist and illustrator living in Queens. Prudie and Lubchansky tackle letters about what to do with a partner who’s dishwashing leaves a lot to be desired, how to apologize to an officemate that you used to viciously bully in high school, what to know about a husband who is obnoxiously rude to wait staff, what actions to take when you discover your parents opened a credit card in your name, how to relate to a partner who’s wealthy upbringing makes you uncomfortable. Slate Plus members get an additional mini-episode of Dear Prudence every Friday. Sign up now to listen.  Join us online for Dear Prudence Live on April 8th at 7:00 pm EDT! Visit slate.com/live for the link! Email: [email protected]  Production by Phil Surkis Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Prudence is joined this week by Alyssa Furukawa, a public health grad student and knitter who lives in Philadelphia with her enormous puppy. Prudie and Furukawa dig into letters about how to handle a brother who’s draining your parents of their retirement funds, what to do when you realize that an old friend makes you feel anxious and afraid, how to rebuild an estranged relationship with your parents on your own terms, what to consider when sex in your marriage becomes non-existent. Plus a voicemail from a listener who’s wondering how to stop living in a cluttered, messy home. Slate Plus members get an additional mini-episode of Dear Prudence every Friday. Sign up now to listen.  Email: [email protected]  Production by Phil Surkis Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Prudence is joined this week by Phil Surkis, an Oakland based podcast producer, whose shows include Dear Prudence, and the upcoming Alicia Garza podcast, Lady Don’t Take No. He’s the co-host of the podcast, o.k. land, along with comedian Abas Idris. Prudie and Surkis tackle letters about how to keep your spirits up while social distancing without social media, what to do when you live far from your mom during the time of the coronavirus, is it okay to buy wedding gifts months after the wedding occurred, what to do when you don’t want your best man’s girlfriend at your wedding, is it okay to ask a family on an unplanned extended stay in your home to kick in some cash, what to consider when your friends don’t meet your birthday expectations, is it okay to name your baby the same name as your friend’s child. Join us online for Dear Prudence Live on March 25th at 7PM ET! Visit slate.com/live for the link! Slate Plus members get an additional mini-episode of Dear Prudence every Friday. Sign up now to listen.  Email: [email protected]  Production by Phil Surkis Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Prudence is joined this week by Calvin Kasulke, a writer, podcast producer and transsexual living in Brooklyn. His work has been featured in outlets including MEL Magazine, Vice, Electric Literature and BuzzFeed. Prudie and Kasulke dig into letters about what to consider about getting a breast lift as a reward for achieving a weight goal, how to get people to use your full name without sounding like a snob, should you let your bestie know that her friends let loose insulting gay comment to you at her last party, what to do when the sound of a co-worker’s voice irritates you, should you correct the misconception your sister is transphobic, even though you don’t speak to her anymore.  Slate Plus members get an additional mini-episode of Dear Prudence every Friday. Sign up now to listen.  Email: [email protected]  Production by Phil Surkis Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Prudence is joined this week by Kaitlyn Greenidge, the author of the novel We Love You, Charlie Freeman. Greenidge has written for the New York Times, The Wall Street Journal, Vogue, Glamour, Elle, Virginia Quarterly Review and other places.  Prudie and Greenidge tackle letters about what to do when you can’t accept that your sister is dating a felon who’s fighting a heroin addiction, what to consider when you find out that your boyfriend fathered a child that he wants nothing to do with, are you obligated to return your boyfriend’s meat cleaver after finding it a year after you broke up, how to politely ask friends to return books you consider long overdue, should you discourage your not very sensitive boyfriend from becoming a therapist. Slate Plus members get an additional mini-episode of Dear Prudence every Friday. Sign up now to listen.  Join us for a live Dear Prudence at The Bell House in Brooklyn on Thursday, April 23rd at 7:30PM! Tickets Email: [email protected]  Production by Phil Surkis Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Prudence is joined this week by New York City based writer, Jaya Saxena. She's currently on staff at Eater.com, and her essay collection Crystal Clear is forthcoming from Quirk Books this year. Prudie and Saxena dig into letters about what to do when you discover a coworker has been tracking your attendance, actions and wardrobe, should you fake a baptism to appease your grandmother, what to consider when your boyfriend violates your trust by touching you after you told him not to, how to handle coworkers who treat you like their children because of your age, how to tell your conservative parents that you’ve been secretly living with your boyfriend.  Slate Plus members get an additional mini-episode of Dear Prudence every Friday. Sign up now to listen.  Join us for a live Dear Prudence at The Bell House in Brooklyn on Thursday, April 23rd at 7:30PM! Tickets Email: [email protected]  Production by Phil Surkis Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Prudence is joined this week by Faran Krentcil, the editorial director of The Newsette and editor-at-large for ELLE.com. She lives in New York City with her life partner, a vintage leopard print coat from Paris.  Prudie and Krentcil tackle letters about what to do when your boyfriend casually reveals he wore blackface in college, how to act around your sister after seeing her presence in a porn film, what to consider when your husband makes a hobby out of drinking beer, how to let friends know that you are once again transitioning to a more androgynous look, what to do when you find yourself keeping your fridge filled with food you don’t eat. Slate Plus members get an additional mini-episode of Dear Prudence every Friday. Sign up now to listen.  Join us for a live Dear Prudence at The Bell House in Brooklyn on Thursday, April 23rd at 7:30PM! Tickets Production by Phil Surkis Email: [email protected]  Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Prudence is joined this week by Molly Woodstock, a biracial journalist, audio producer, and equity consultant based in Portland, Oregon. They produce and host an award-winning weekly podcast called Gender Reveal, and have been featured as a gender expert in the New York Times, NPR, and Washington Post, among other publications. Prudie and Woodstock dig into letters about what to do when you notice your boss looking at porn on a work trip, should you avoid all family events knowing that a racist aunt will be there, how to help a friend who doesn’t bathe or clean his home, what to do when your ex-girlfriend is upset at you for hanging out with her younger brothers, what actions to take when faced with a 13 year old at your door asking for help.  Slate Plus members get an additional mini-episode of Dear Prudence every Friday. Sign up now to listen.  Email: [email protected]  Production by Phil Surkis Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Prudence is joined this week by Lane Moore, the creator of the hit comedy show Tinder Live! Moore is also the author of the bestselling book How To Be Alone: If You Want To And Even If You Don't, and the front-person in the band It Was Romance. Prudie and Moore tackle letters about how to ask a roommate to keep an ever-listening Alexa-type speaker out of the common areas, what to consider when a potentially romantic friend showers you with generosity you’re not quite ready for, should you give a wedding gift of money to a couple with bad financial habits, what to do when your boyfriend’s table manners aren’t up to your mother’s standard, how to handle a husband who will not buy cigarettes on your behalf, what actions to take with a groping father-in-law.  Slate Plus members get an additional mini-episode of Dear Prudence every Friday. Sign up now to listen.  Email: [email protected]  Production by Phil Surkis Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Prudence is joined this week by Josh Gondelman, a comedian who has written for Last Week Tonight with John Oliver and now writes for Desus & Mero. His debut essay collection Nice Try: Stories of Best Intentions and Mixed Results is available now.  Prudie and Gondelman dig into letters about if you should allow guests to speak kindly of your extremely unkind father-in-law at his funeral, how to handle a mother who doesn’t approve of your relationship, yet is bossy about your wedding plans, what actions to take when you boyfriend pees in the bed whenever he drinks, what to do when your parents side with a manipulative sister and her bullying boyfriend, how to help your husband tell better anecdotes that don’t turn people off, do you owe it to your Jewish community to be “more Jewish”, even though it’s not a big part of your identity. Slate Plus members get an additional mini-episode of Dear Prudence every Friday. Sign up now to listen.  Email: [email protected]  Production by Phil Surkis Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Prudence is joined this week by Jason Carini, an attorney who works in recruiting for the legal industry in the San Francisco Bay Area.  Prudie and Carini tackle letters about what to do when you can’t help snooping for dirt on a job you left acrimoniously, how to deal with a coworker’s frequent incoming personal calls, what actions to take when the temperature at work gets so hot that you feel ill, what to do when your relationship with you dad changes because he stopped paying alimony to your mom, how to talk to your sister about preparing to be a caregiver for your parents, how to handle resentment towards friends who seem to care more about animal rights than the suffering of humans. Slate Plus members get an additional mini-episode of Dear Prudence every Friday. Sign up now to listen.  Email: [email protected]  Production by Phil Surkis Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Prudence is joined this week by Hari Kondabolu, the star of the Netflix standup special Warn Your Relatives, and the critically acclaimed documentary The Problem with Apu. In 2018, he was named one of Variety’s “Comedians to Watch.” He will be in New York City headlining Carolines on Broadway from January 23rd through the 25th. Prudie and Kondabolu dig into letters about what to do when your friend took and shared photos of you in a medically induced coma, how to handle your anxiety when your wife walks naked in front of your children, how to get your dad to stop calling strangers “sweetie” or “kiddo”, what to consider when your transitioning twin chooses a name that triggers you, what to do with a boyfriend who re-gifts his second hand belonging to you at birthdays and holidays. Slate Plus members get an additional mini-episode of Dear Prudence every Friday. Sign up now to listen.  Email: [email protected]  Production by Phil Surkis Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Prudence is joined this week by Grace Lavery, an Associate Professor in the Department of English at UC Berkeley.  Prudie and Lavery tackle letters about how to decide if you should you let your best friend raise your troubled daughter, what to do when neither you nor your girlfriend have living situations where you both can hang out in, how to know if you are gender nonbinary, should you apologize to your fellow commuters after accidentally playing a particularly provocative part of the Dear Prudence podcast on your phone’s speaker, what to do when your nephew’s act of stealing an item of your clothing is driving a wedge through your whole family.  Slate Plus members get an additional mini-episode of Dear Prudence every Friday. Sign up now to listen.  Email: [email protected]  Production by Phil Surkis Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Prudence is joined this week by Jordan Blok, a queer non-binary science communicator, research administrator, and hoop earring enthusiast based out of LA, and Prudie regular, Grace Lavery, an Associate Professor in the Department of English at UC Berkeley.  Prudie, Blok, and Lavery dig into letters about what to do when new friends who are a couple may be coming on to you, what to consider with a boyfriend who seems to be homophobic stemming from a childhood sexual assault, what to do when you strike out dating women after having had no problem dating men, does an annulment mean your are divorced or you were never married, should you oblige your abusive ex-wife’s request to process your divorce in therapy 25 years after the fact.  Slate Plus members get an additional mini-episode of Dear Prudence every Friday. Sign up now to listen.  Email: [email protected]  Production by Phil Surkis Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Prudence is joined this week by Grace Lavery, an Associate Professor in the Department of English at UC Berkeley, who occasionally feels like she has an alien in her throat.  Prudie and Lavery go back and look at some of the many memorable letters of 2019 that were addressed with the help of Francesca Fiorentini, Justine D’Souza, Connor Goldsmith, Helen Rosner, Clementine Ford, Nichole Perkins, Bim Adewunmi, and Alexandra Petri. Prudie and company tackle letters about if you should tell your friend that her porn and weed addicted fiancé might not be “the one”, what to consider about hanging on your secret that you gave away your boyfriend’s dog, what to do when a DNA kit reveals you married your first cousin, what to do when a member of your fine dining club can no longer afford to pay, but insists on coming anyway, what to know when you keep having dreams about your ex-boyfriend even though you will never be together again in reality, what to do with a boyfriend who spontaneously masturbates while you’re laid out sick, and how to process your anger over a friend who worked on her laptop during your wedding vows. Slate Plus members get an additional mini-episode of Dear Prudence every Friday. Sign up now to listen.  Email: [email protected]  Production by Phil Surkis Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Prudence is joined this week by Mistress Justine Cross, a lifestyle dominatrix and BDSM consultant based in Los Angeles. She also owns and operates Dungeon East, a minimal, modern paradise, and Dungeon West, its atmospheric West LA counterpart. She is the boss of everyone except her cat. No one is the boss of cats. Prudie and Cross tackle letters about what to do when your friend’s husband threatens violence towards your dog, how to handle coworkers who trash-talk a colleague you’re secretly dating, how to continue your open marriage after losing your “wife approved” partner, what actions to take after discovering that your daughter intentionally jumped in front of a moving truck, should you leave your perfectly good roommate situation to live with your boyfriend, how to handle a family who constantly misgenders you.  Slate Plus members get an additional mini-episode of Dear Prudence every Friday. Sign up now to listen.  Email: [email protected]  Production by Phil Surkis Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

This a preview of this week's Dear Prudence mini-episode: The Tattoo Anxiety Edition. Prudence is joined this week by Glynn Washington, the host of Snap Judgment, which is heard on over 400 NPR stations every week. He also hosts the podcasts Heaven’s Gate and Spooked.  Slate Plus members receive an additional mini-episode of Dear Prudence every Friday. Sign up now to listen. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Prudence is joined this week by Glynn Washington, the host of Snap Judgment, which is heard on over 400 NPR stations every week. He also hosts the podcasts Heaven’s Gate and Spooked.  Prudie and Washington dig into letters about what to do when one of your roommates replaces your plush toilet paper with a more economy brand, how to handle a colleague who has a memory of hooking up with you decades ago, but that never happened, how can you avoid mentioning weight loss surgery when asked about your transformation, what to do when your neighbors' smoke alarm won’t stop chirping, how to tell your alcoholic in-laws that you don’t want them drinking around your baby. Plus, a voicemail from a woman whose ex-boyfriend is asking her to move out of the house that they both bought together. Slate Plus members get an additional mini-episode of Dear Prudence every Friday. Sign up now to listen.  Email: [email protected]  Production by Phil Surkis Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Prudence is joined this week by Ella Baker, a trans lesbian writer and the host of How to Be Trans, a platform celebrating thriving transgender lives.  Prudie and Baker tackle letters about what to do when your girlfriend allows a strange coworker to live in your apartment while you’re away traveling, how to know if you quit your volunteer job for the right reasons, what to know when you discover you have herpes even though you’ve never had sexual contact, how to know if the rules you’re imposing for your 12 year-old daughter’s sleepover are transphobic. Slate Plus members get an additional mini-episode of Dear Prudence every Friday. Sign up now to listen.  Email: [email protected]  Production by Phil Surkis Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Prudence is joined this week by Peyton Thomas, a freelance journalist and video game writer based in Toronto. His writing has appeared in Vanity Fair, Billboard, and Pitchfork. Prudie and Thomas dig into letters about how to handle feeling not non-binary enough for your trans boyfriend, what to do when your friend in recovery comes to your bar and orders a drink, what actions to take if you feel your fiancé has befriended a con artist, what to do when your partner’s lack of direction feels like it’s holding your own future plans back, how to let a new friend know that just because you declined a last minute hiking invite, you still want to be friends. Slate Plus members get an additional mini-episode of Dear Prudence every Friday. Sign up now to listen.  Email: [email protected]  Production by Phil Surkis Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Prudence is joined this week by Aric McBay, an organizer, a farmer, and an author. He lives near Kingston, Ontario. His latest book is Full Spectrum Resistance, which explores how to build more effective movements. Prudie and McBay tackle letters about how to handle not being taken seriously because you look young, should you, as a straight man, speak up when you hear a woman objectifying another woman, what to do when your couch crashing brother takes advantage of your hospitality, how to decide if you should pay your friend for house sitting when he’s historically refused payment.  Slate Plus members get an additional mini-episode of Dear Prudence every Friday. Sign up now to listen.  Email: [email protected]  Production by Phil Surkis Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Prudence is joined this week by Dr. Ghazaleh Samandari, an integral development coach. Samandari has spent the last 15 years researching and advocating for women's health and rights around the world.  Prudie and Samandari dig into letters about how to handle a friend who accepts a job that you’re against politically, what actions to take when social anxiety in school has you skipping lunch every day, what to do when the woman your husband cheated with now works in your office, how to make amends to your friend after insulting her “ugly” used chair.   Slate Plus members get an additional mini-episode of Dear Prudence every Friday. Sign up now to listen.  Email: [email protected]  Production by Phil Surkis Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Prudence is joined this week by Alexandra Petri, a humor columnist for the Washington Post, author of A Field Guide To Awkward Silences, and also working assiduously on a new book! Prudie and Petri tackle letters about how to handle that you’re husband of 30 years may have given you an STI, what to do when you keep catching your mother having affairs, should you confront your friend who’s about to get married, yet still cheating on her fiance, how to be graceful when friends share news that you’re already familiar with, how to process your anger over a friend who worked on her laptop during your wedding vows. Slate Plus members get an additional mini-episode of Dear Prudence every Friday. Sign up now to listen.  Email: [email protected]  Production by Phil Surkis Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Prudence is joined this week by Elizabeth Freeman, a Professor of English at the University of California, Davis, specializing in, among other things, Gender/Sexuality Studies.  Prudie and Freeman dig into letters about what to do when you feel like your bisexuality alienates you from most relationships, how to know if it’s safe to come out to your historically homophobic, but now mellowed parents, what actions to take when you discover that your teenage son has been secretly filming his sexual encounters with his younger girlfriend, should you tell your neighbors that you’ve had a view of their bathroom for years, what to consider when you feel sad about your perfectly wonderful life, as it’s not the life you dreamed about. The episode concludes with a somewhat sticky story from Freeman that you won’t want to miss!  Slate Plus members get an additional mini-episode of Dear Prudence every Friday. Sign up now to listen.  Email: [email protected]  Production by Phil Surkis Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Prudence is joined this week by Jae Bearhat, a Seattle-based writer, zinester, and known Internet presence. Their work includes the Czap Books published comic Little Teeth, the Youtube critique series Film Critters, and over dozens of posts on Twitter under the name fussybabybitch. Prudie and Bearhat tackle letters about how to decide how much to financially support a stepdaughter that you see squandering the money she already receives, how to handle out of town friends who want to visit with their four kids and stay with you instead of a hotel, what to do when a visiting friend uncomfortably infiltrates your life, including flirting with your crush and using your vibrator, how to reason with your dad who refused to let you help your mom with her debilitating disease, how to decide if you should maintain a friendship (and secret crush) with someone who may have undiagnosed autism.  Slate Plus members get an additional mini-episode of Dear Prudence every Friday. Sign up now to listen.  Email: [email protected]  Production by Phil Surkis Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Prudence is joined this week by Matt Martin, who recently launched TILT, a new brand of public media by and for young people to help them navigate an out-of-balance economy. Martin has worked in public radio for many years, including a long stint as a station manager of KALW-FM San Francisco. Prudie and Martin dig into letters about how to handle an annoying coworker that you ghosted but now have to occasionally see at work, what to do with an estranged father who persistently tries to contact you, how to stay sane while living with your climate change-denying dad, how to handle a fiancé who falls asleep on the couch every night, how to broach the subject of your inheritance with your estranged mother, who is also the executor of your father’s will.  Slate Plus members get an additional mini-episode of Dear Prudence every Friday. Sign up now to listen.  Email: [email protected]  Production by Phil Surkis Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Prudence is joined this week by Molly Priddy, a writer and editor living in Minnesota. She likes Diet Coke, her dog, and talking about feelings because feelings are the worst. Prudie and Priddy tackle letters about how to admit to your date that you’re a recovering alcoholic and you’d rather not meet in a bar, what actions to take when your best friend has joined a cult, what to do when you’re exhausted from supporting your friend’s year long quest for employment, how to decide if you should ask your dad for tuition now that you’re middle aged and starting school again, can you remain close with a friend who has been verbally hurtful to many mutual acquaintances. Also, Prudie and Priddy check out a voicemail from a machine shop worker who found out she’s making parts that will ultimately be used to help ICE capture people crossing the border.  Slate Plus members get an additional mini-episode of Dear Prudence every Friday. Sign up now to listen.  Email: [email protected]  Production by Phil Surkis Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Prudence is joined this week by Amira El-Sayed, a German/Egyptian Londoner who advises organizations around the world on how they can have a positive social impact. Prudie and El-Sayed dig into letters about what to do when you overhear your friend’s hair stylist says rude things about her, how to handle a friend who wants reimbursement for her travel points you thought she gifted to you, what to know about your mother who demands praise for every little thing she does, what actions to take when your boss accuses you of urinating in your chair, how to get a former flame to leave the condo that you initially let her stay in rent free.  Slate Plus members get an additional mini-episode of Dear Prudence every Friday. Sign up now to listen.  Email: [email protected]  Production by Phil Surkis Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Slate Plus members get an additional mini-episode of Dear Prudence every Friday. Sign up now to listen.  Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Prudence is joined this week by Nichole Perkins and Bim Adewunmi, Perkins is a writer and co-host of the Slate podcast The Waves. Her first collection of poetry, Lilith, But Dark was published last year. Adewunmi is a producer on This American Life. Her play, Hoard, was published and staged in London this year. Together, Perkins and Adewunmi co-host the Slate podcast, Thirst Aid Kit. Stay tuned for a clip from Thirst Aid Kit at the end of the episode. Prudie, Perkins and Adewunmi tackle letters about what to do with a boyfriend who spontaneously masturbates while you’re laid out sick, what to consider when a colleague’s pettiness harms you professionally, how to handle a friend accusing you of being too fancy for ordinary camping, how to decide whether to invite your belligerent in-laws to your child’s baptism.  Slate Plus members get an additional mini-episode of Dear Prudence every Friday. Sign up now to listen.  Email: [email protected] Production by Phil Surkis Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Prudence welcomes you to our first international episode, recorded live at Storey Hall in Melbourne, Australia on September 8th, 2019. Prudie was joined by Clementine Ford, a Melbourne based writer, feminist and author of the best-selling books Fight Like A Girl  and Boys Will Be Boys. Prudie and Ford dig into letters about how to leave your cousin’s employ when you know it will shutter his business, how to manage time with your girlfriend when she works on the same block as you, should you act on your crush by dating an ex-student, what actions to take when you have a compulsion to look at your ex boyfriend’s social media long after you’ve moved on, what to know when you keep having dreams about your ex, even though you will never be together again in reality. Slate Plus members get an additional mini-episode of Dear Prudence every Friday. Sign up now to listen.  Email: [email protected]  Production by Phil Surkis Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Prudence is joined this week by Portia Elan, who lives in Oakland and works as a Teen Librarian. A friend once described her as “farm strong.” Prudie and Elan tackle letters about what to do when your twin son and daughter are obsessed with a TV show centered around incest, how to handle discovering that your beloved Nana who raised you, held shocking secrets about your family origins, should you carry out your 11 year-old niece’s wishes that you out her to the rest of the family, how to move forward with parents who no-showed your same sex wedding due to faith issues, what actions to take when you find out your daughter’s first crush is for someone with many mental health issues. Slate Plus members get an additional mini-episode of Dear Prudence every Friday. Sign up now to listen.  Email: [email protected]  Production by Phil Surkis Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Prudence is joined this week by Soleil Ho, the San Francisco Chronicle’s restaurant critic. She’s written for food and pop culture publications like Bitch, Food & Wine, Taste, and Wine Enthusiast and hosted podcasts like Popaganda and Racist Sandwich. Prudie and Ho dig into letters about how to handle anger towards your in-laws, even though they’ve moved past their initial homophobia, how to disclose your disability when entering the dating game, what to do when your boyfriend gets upset that you didn’t immediately disclose that you’re an adoptee, how to handle transphobic co-workers after finally accepting that you’re a trans woman, what to do with a mom who believes your high school girlfriend made you gay. Slate Plus members get an additional mini-episode of Dear Prudence every Friday. Sign up now to listen. Email: [email protected] Production by Phil Surkis Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Prudence is joined this week by Melissa Dahl, a senior editor at The Cut, where she covers health, science and psychology. She is also the author of Cringeworthy: A Theory of Awkwardness. Prudie and Dahl tackle letters about what to do when you suspect you’re not with the right therapist, how to handle a step-daughter who suddenly decides you’re not her father anymore, how to tell your partner that her work stories are long and hard to follow, what to do when it becomes awkward with your group of friends after calling one of them out for being abusive to his girlfriend. Slate Plus members get an additional mini-episode of Dear Prudence every Friday. Sign up now to listen. Email: [email protected] by Phil Surkis Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Prudence is joined this week by author Sandy Allen. Allen hosts a new podcast called Mad Chat, which unpacks what our pop culture is telling us about madness and mental health. Prudie and Allen dig into letters about how to handle your guilty feelings after kicking out your cheating ex, what to do about your brother’s habit of oversharing intimate information about your parents, should you be worried about not feeling sexually attracted to anyone, what to do when you fear that your fiancé’s drama prone daughter might end your marriage before it begins. Slate Plus members get an additional mini-episode of Dear Prudence every Friday. Sign up now to listen. Email: [email protected] Production by Phil Surkis Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Slate Plus members get an additional mini-episode of Dear Prudence every Friday. Sign up now to listen.  Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Prudence is joined this week by Daniel Mallory Ortberg, a lover of peanut butter who---WAIT! Prudence is Daniel Mallory Ortberg. Buckle up for this rare solo flight. Prudie tackles letters about how to come out to your parents while also protecting the privacy of your genderqueer identical twin, how to bring up a complicated history of sexual assault issues to your new boyfriend, how to tamp down a tendency to “over support” your boyfriend’s acting career, what to know about starting a conversation about your inheritance when you’ve never talked about money with your parents before. Slate Plus members get an additional mini-episode of Dear Prudence every Friday. Sign up now to listen. Email: [email protected] Production by Phil Surkis Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Prudence is joined this week by Vanessa Zoltan, a non-denominational chaplain, who co-hosts Harry Potter and the Sacred Text and its spin-off show Women of Harry Potter. She also has a new podcast, Hot and Bothered. Together they dig into letters about a mother who’s worried that her daughter’s fiancé is too good looking for her, how to handle in-laws who are dramatic in their requests to have you to cover up your leg with scars and missing toes, what to do when you’re too scared to tell your friend (who you have a crush on) that her son may have worms, how to handle a partner who likes to cook large meals, but is grossed out by leftovers. Slate Plus members will hear Prudie and Zoltan discuss a letter writer who’s wondering how to talk to her mom who voted for a politician that was instrumental in the loss of her job, and how to handle a friend who believes you ruined her wedding by sharing your cancer diagnosis. Slate Plus members get bonus segments and ad-free podcast feeds. Sign up now. Email: [email protected] Production by Phil Surkis Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Prudence is joined this week by Connor Goldsmith, a literary agent at Fuse Literary, specializing in sci-fi/fantasy fiction and a variety of nonfiction subjects. Together they tackle letters about what to consider when a DNA kit reveals you married your first cousin, what actions to take when you want to see a sister who’s living with parents who exiled you for being gay, how to know if you’re ready to open up a ten year relationship to polyamory, what to consider when your friend with ADHD never returns the support you’ve given him, what to consider before reaching out to a biological sibling you’ve never met. Slate Plus members will hear Prudie and Goldsmith discuss a letter writer who is wondering how to handle accidentally buying a home one block away from a horrible ex, and how to handle a husband who is not at all gracious when your parents give him gifts. Sign up at Slate.com/PrudiePod. Email: [email protected] Production by Phil Surkis Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

This is a feature episode of a new Slate podcast, How To! With Charles Duhigg. What if Dear Abby was an investigative reporter? Each week, Pulitzer Prize-winning journalist Charles Duhigg ("The Power of Habit") takes on listeners’ toughest problems and, with the help of experts, finds the answers to questions you’ve always wanted to ask, but couldn’t. Until now. Subscribe to How To! With Charles Duhigg on your preferred podcast app, or find it at slate.com/howto. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Prudence is joined this week by Sydney Hodges, a DC resident who, in addition to being interested in conflict resolution, is also a recovering armchair linguist who has found peace with only having a BA in Linguistics. Together they dig into letters about how to handle an aunt who is over the top in the gift giving department, how to get your work buddy back after regrettably offending them, what to know about wanting affection from your wife while you’re under the weather, how to decide whether to keep your distance or socialize with the employees you manage, what to consider when your social life stops because your friends don’t like your new husband. Slate Plus members will hear Prudie and Hodges discuss a letter writer who is wondering how to avoid being the babysitter and bank for a son who has nine kids from seven women, and what actions to take when your mother-in-law posts pics of your newborn without your consent. Slate Plus members get bonus segments and ad-free podcast feeds. Sign up now.  Email: [email protected] Production by Phil Surkis Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Prudence is joined this week by Joey Garcia, the Sacramento News & Review's advice columnist, and on-air Relationship Expert for KTXL-40 TV. Garcia is also the founder of the Belize Writer's Conference where writers vacation with literary agents in her native Belize. Together they tackle letters about a woman wondering if she’s homophobic because she finds gay sex unattractive, how to handle an estranged father who now wants a “don’t discuss the past” relationship, should you tell your already fraught family that you had a daughter and put her up for adoption, what to consider when revealing to your adopted son that his birth mother was an addict, what to know about having a big old crush, even though you’ve been happily married for 7 years. Slate Plus members will hear Prudie and Garcia discuss a letter writer who’s wondering how to take more space from her parents while she processes her abusive past in therapy. Not yet a member? Sign up at Slate.com/PrudiePod. Email: [email protected] Production by Phil Surkis Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Prudence is joined this week Kelly Anneken, an Oakland-based funny person and all-around swell gal who performs standup comedy. She’s best known as the host of The Handmaid’s Tale recap podcast Red All Over. Together they tackle letters about how to handle an opportunity to report a former teacher who sexually abused you decades ago, what to do when your partner’s sleep schedule is the opposite of yours, what to do when you’re turned off by your partner who promises sexy time that never happens, what to consider when the bride and groom don’t thank you for spending all year planning their wedding, how to decide if you should go to your father’s birthday when you know that an abusive aunt you haven’t seen in years will be there. Slate Plus members will hear Prudie and Anneken discuss a letter writer who’s wondering how to decide if she should stay with her porn addicted boyfriend. Not yet a member? Sign up at Slate.com/PrudiePod. Email: [email protected] Production by Phil Surkis Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Prudence is joined this week by author and activist, Aya de León, who teaches creative writing at UC Berkeley. She is the author of the Justice Hustlers feminist heist series, including Side Chick Nation, the first novel published about Hurricane Maria in Puerto Rico. Together they tackle letters about what to do when a hiring manager calls your husband about a job that you applied to, how to handle nosy coworkers who question when you leave work to care for your son, what to do when your fat shaming, homophobic colleagues chastise you for not wanting to socialize, what to do when you suspect your Jewish faith is keeping your girlfriend’s Mormon family at a distance, what to know about planning on permanently staying “in the closet”, should you say something to your friend who is spending a lot of money on a mutual friend that already has a boyfriend. Slate Plus members will hear Prudie and de León discuss a letter writer who’s wondering how to tell her mother that she’s moving to her country of origin, despite her mom’s attempts to “erase” that part of her life due to a bitter divorce. Not yet a member? Sign up at Slate.com/PrudiePod. Email: [email protected] Production by Phil Surkis Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Prudence is joined this week by Chrissy Macken, who runs a career coaching consultancy in Washington, DC with a focus on helping professionals break free from toxic work environments. Together they dig into letters about how to move past the embarrassment of your drunken behavior on your daughter’s wedding day, how to set boundaries with a business partner you also have a searing crush on, what to do about coworkers who constantly interrupt your private headphone time, how to get out of carpooling with a coworker who dumps her woes on you every morning, what actions to take when you discover coworkers making fun of your disability in social media. Also, Prudie plays a voicemail from a listener who feels her friend “over apologizes” in most situations. Slate Plus members will hear Prudie and Macken discuss a letter writer who’s disappointed that her friends aren’t celebrating her home purchase in the same way she celebrated their major life events. Not yet a member? Sign up at Slate.com/PrudiePod. Email: [email protected] Production by Phil Surkis Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Prudence is joined this week by Marianne R. Williams, the Librarian-in-Residence and Visiting Assistant Professor at the University of Arkansas. Together they tackle letters about what to do when your absentee father wants back into your life, how to handle a friend who often slips into racist accents, what to consider when your husband admits he’s a sex addict, what to consider when your cancer stricken boyfriend wants to break up, what to do when you find your husband’s secret stash of sexy barbie dolls, how to decide whether to reveal a devastating truth to breakup the marriage of a woman responsible for breaking up your relationship. Slate Plus members will hear Prudie and Williams discuss a letter writer who’s mother’s connection to estranged family members on social media is causing a bigger family rift. Not yet a member? Sign up at Slate.com/PrudiePod. Email: [email protected] Production by Phil Surkis Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Prudence is joined this week by Tonya Mosley is the host of KQED's (NPR's San Francisco station) new podcast Truth Be Told, an advice show by and for people of color. Tonya also serves as KQED's Silicon Valley Bureau Chief. Together they tackle letters about how to handle regret over getting a step sister in trouble when you were a teen, should you still see your step kids after leaving your wife who cheated on you, how to handle a boyfriend who insists you can’t be friends with former lovers, how to know if it’s okay to ask someone how to be an ally and not annoy them, what to do when a colleague is stealing cupcakes you bought for your own team, how to handle anger towards a sister who bought a puppy from a breeder instead of adopting a rescue, what actions to take when you’re a POC confronted with the possibility of having to attend your husband’s racist family reunion. Slate Plus members will hear Prudie and Mosley discuss a letter writer who’s wondering how to handle a husband who gets offended when she doesn’t wear a bra when they have guests over. Not yet a member? Sign up at Slate.com/PrudiePod. Email: [email protected] Production by Phil Surkis Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Prudence is joined this week by Corinne Segal, a senior editor at Literary Hub. Segal lives in Brooklyn with a preponderance of plants, stacks of poetry books, and an extremely loyal cat named Dill. Together they dig into letters about what to do when you notice men gawking at your daughter’s chest, what actions to take when your friends find a good friend of yours extremely off-putting, what to do when you notice your birth daughter may be gay, but she’s being raised by conservative parents, how to support a loved one with depression, even when they’re difficult to be around, what to do when your husband reneges on his promise to allow you a trial of a creative career. Slate Plus members will hear Prudie and Segal discuss a letter writer who’s wondering how to set boundaries with his family who is not accepting of his trans girlfriend. Not yet a member? Sign up at Slate.com/PrudiePod. Email: [email protected] Production by Phil Surkis Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Prudence is joined this week by Julian K. Jarboe, a writer and sound designer from Massachusetts. Their debut collection, "Everyone on the Moon is Essential Personnel", is forthcoming next spring. They can be found on Twitter @JulianKJarboe. Together they tackle letters about what to do when you’re suddenly responsible for a young niece and nephew that are practically strangers, should you propose to your boyfriend while also living in an intensely traumatic environment, how to handle a husband who believes masturbation is an act akin to infidelity, what actions to take when you discover the mom at your kid’s playdate house is always screaming at her own kids, what to know if you have suicidal feelings that you don’t want to share with your therapist, what to do when you can’t yet legally change your name, and you get upset when people use it. Slate Plus members will hear Prudie and Jarboe discuss a letter writer who’s wondering what to do when, as an executor of their will, you discover your relative had an enormous pornography collection. Not yet a member? Sign up at Slate.com/PrudiePod. Email: [email protected] Production by Phil Surkis Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Prudence is joined this week by Laneia Jones, the executive editor of Autostraddle dot com, an independently-run online community for queer women and nonbinary people. Together they tackle letters about what to do with a mother-in-law who demands that you disinvite her gay daughter to your wedding, how to handle racist neighbors who might take issue with your house-sitting guests, should you tell your husband that you can’t take anymore unplanned house guests, how to explain to dates that your cousin is raising your child with your ex-girlfriend, what actions to take when you accidentally lose your paycheck, how to decide if you should accept a dream job, even though it may not pay enough. Slate Plus members will hear Prudie and Jones discuss a letter writer who’s wondering if she should end a friendship with a couple who revealed interest in exploring a polyamorous relationship.  Not yet a member? Sign up at Slate.com/PrudiePod. Email: [email protected] Production by Phil Surkis Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Prudence is joined this week by Sarah Schneider, a registered nurse living in the Bay Area. Her go-fish game is on point. Together they tackle letters about what to do when your estranged mother sends an unexpected and inappropriate gift, how to handle a mom who keeps raining on your wedding parade, how to deal with a mom who goes out of her way to misgender you, what actions to take when your ex husband uses the kids to throw a wrench into your dating life, how to handle your conflicted feelings about a boyfriend who cheated on you and then took his own life, what to do when your friend’s home is in a state of squalor. Slate Plus members will hear Prudie and Schneider discuss a letter writer who’s wondering if she should tell her fiance that his best man confessed his love for her, and another letter writer who can no longer tolerate her sister-in-law’s constant commentary about her spending habits. Not yet a member? Sign up at Slate.com/PrudiePod. Email: [email protected] Production by Phil Surkis Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Prudence is joined this week by Harron Walker, a staff writer at Out magazine, whose work has appeared on Jezebel, BuzzFeed, Vulture, Vice, and Them. Together they tackle letters about how to create a safe space for your child who is showing signs of being transgender, should you worry that your girlfriend has been in therapy for 9 years, what to do when you find out your twin sister has been trash talking about you to anyone who will listen, what actions to take when your boyfriend accidentally sends you his amateur porno of him with another woman, what to do when your “split all costs” plan with your girlfriend isn’t really happening. Slate Plus members will hear Prudie and Walker discuss a letter writer who is wondering if she should let her LGBTQ+ clients know that she’s queer, even though she’s married to a straight cis man. Not yet a member? Sign up at Slate.com/PrudiePod. Email: [email protected] Production by Phil Surkis Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Prudence is joined this week by Aymann Ismail, an award-winning podcast host, video editor, photographer, and writer at Slate whose work focuses on identity and religion. He currently hosts Man Up, an interview podcast about men and relationships, family, race, and sex. Together they dig into letters about how to handle a boyfriend who’s frustrated because you travel for work half the year, what to do when a coworker mentions he’s a survivalist with a stockpile of guns at home, what actions to take when your child’s playdate is at the home of a racist, should you expose your bosses affair to make your own work life easier, what to do with displayed photos of your wife of 40 years now that you are widowed and dating, what to consider when your partner’s illness keeps you from physically connecting. Slate Plus members will hear Prudie and Ismail discuss a letter writer who is wondering how to handle a dad who refuses to accommodate your mom’s needs while she’s fighting cancer. Not yet a member? Sign up at Slate.com/PrudiePod. Email: [email protected] Production by Phil Surkis Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Prudence is joined this week by essayist Jackie Hedeman, whose nonfiction has appeared in The Best American Travel Writing 2017, Entropy, Autostraddle, and elsewhere. Together they tackle letters about a what to do when you have a former patient who keeps demanding you take them back, how to handle a housemate who has habit of oversharing when he drinks, how to decide to cut off your toxic parents from seeing their grandchildren, what to do when you want your polyamorous relationship to revert back to a monogamous one, how to protect your daughter when your sister is marrying a registered sex offender, what to consider when your addict lover is requesting that you refrain from substances when you don’t have a problem. Slate Plus members will hear Prudie and Hedeman discuss a letter writer who can’t stand visiting her brother’s home because his kids urinate everywhere and make a mess. Not yet a member? Sign up at Slate.com/PrudiePod. Email: [email protected] Production by Phil Surkis Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

This week finds Dear Prudence live on stage at The Museum of Pop Culture in Seattle, Washington. Recorded on March 20th, 2019, Prudie was joined onstage by author and assistant professor of English at UC Berkeley, Grace Lavery. Together they dig into letters about what to do when you desire a life that’s more than caring for your mother in law, how to handle a friend whose belief that you broke her car is threatening your social standing, what to do when your sister thinks she’s a genius and hates you because you don’t believe her, how to deal with family misgendering your best friend at your wedding, how to decide whether you should take in a friend with a debilitating disease, what to do when your parents decide to swap genders. Slate Plus members will hear Prudie and Grace discuss a letter writer who found the love of her life, but he’s more focused on finishing his Ph.D, as well as questions from the audience! Not yet a member? Sign up at Slate.com/PrudiePod. Email: [email protected] Production by Phil Surkis Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

This week finds Dear Prudence live on stage at The Bell House in Brooklyn. Recorded on March 13th, 2019, Prudie was joined onstage by Jezebel writer, Jasmine Sanders. Together they dig into letters about what to do when the kids you nanny are beyond out of control, how to handle a friend who dumps on you, but never listens to your problems, what to do with a fiancé who’s forgetfulness of basic things makes you worry about your safety, what actions to take when you suspect you’ve been violated under anesthesia during a medical procedure, what to do when cutting ties from an abusive uncle also leaves you estranged from other family that you miss, how to decide if your surreptitious workplace recordings should be used for good, evil, or left unheard. Slate Plus members will hear Prudie and Jasmine discuss a letter whose recovery from an eating disorder is hampered by a mother who constantly admonishes her appearance.  Not yet a member? Sign up at Slate.com/PrudiePod. Email: [email protected] Production by Phil Surkis Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

This week finds Dear Prudence live on stage at The Hamilton in Washington DC. Recorded on March 12th, 2019, Prudie was joined onstage by the host of NPR’s Pop Culture Happy Hour, Linda Holmes. Together they tackle letters about how to decide if you should cut ties with a sister who violated your trust, how to handle jealousy when your wife easily get gigs that you’ve struggled your whole life to get, what actions to take with a creepy and inappropriate father-in-law, how to help your daughter’s transitioning friend who was shut out by his own family, what to do when your husband’s antidepressants take away his sex drive, what to do when your friend’s methods for planning your vacation rubs you wrong way, what to consider when you have a family member who refused to vaccinate her child. Slate Plus members will hear Prudie and Linda discuss a letter writer who is dreading being part of a wedding where her fellow bridesmaids will make fun of her for being single. Also, questions from the live audience! Not yet a member? Sign up at Slate.com/PrudiePod. Email: [email protected] Production by Phil Surkis Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

This week finds Dear Prudence live on stage at the Brava Theater Center in San Francisco. Recorded on March 7th, 2019, Prudie was joined onstage by New York Times bestselling author Jasmine Guillory. Jasmine’s books include The Wedding Date, The Proposal, and the forthcoming The Wedding Party.  Together they dig into letters about how to handle your bestie’s new friends that leave you feeling alienated, should you date your neighbor, even though it might be confusing for your children, what to do when your long time friend is a cheater and it’s awkward to face his girlfriend, what actions to take when your expensive grad school degree hasn’t yielded any job prospects, what to do when two crucial members of your wedding party are going through an ugly divorce, how to handle a husband who wants to maintain a relationship with his white supremacist  brother, should you take a chance and see your estranged parents who are now reaching out after years of conflict? Slate Plus members will hear Prudie and Jasmine discuss a letter writer who is wondering what actions to take when you find out your boyfriend has known about your affair for months, but has been silent, as well as questions from the live audience! Email: [email protected] Production by Phil Surkis Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

This week finds Dear Prudence live on stage at The Soiled Dove Underground in Denver Colorado. Recorded on March 6th, 2019, Prudie was joined by writer Nicole Cliffe, who currently runs Slate’s Care and Feeding advice column, and was Daniel Ortberg’s former partner at The Toast. Together they dig into letters about what to do when you feel disconnected from your life that actually looks pretty good, how to handle a boyfriend who doesn’t want to commit to being called a “boyfriend”, what to do when your partner’s ex uses their dog as an excuse to stay connected, what actions to take when your husband can’t move past your infidelity from years ago, how to introduce your trans boyfriend to your not so accepting parents, how to deal with a husband who has turned to porn since you giving birth, how to handle your partner’s mom who keeps her distance because you’re “living in sin”.  Slate Plus members will hear Prudie and Nicole discuss a letter writer who is wondering how to decide if she has a future dating a vaccine doubter, as well as questions from the live audience! Not yet a member? Sign up at Slate.com/PrudiePod. Email: [email protected] Production by Phil Surkis Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Prudence is joined this week by writer Helen Rosner. She is the food correspondent for The New Yorker, and a former editor at places like Eater, Saveur, and New York Magazine. Together they tackle letters about what to do when a lonely neighbor treats you  as if you were her grandchild, what to do when a member of your fine dining club can no longer afford to pay, but insists on coming anyway, how to share your secret financial struggles with your husband, what actions to take when your mother-in-law fat shames you after your pregnancy. Prudie and Helen also respond to a voicemail from a woman who discovered a man on her disability focused message board who may be posing to get attention from women. Slate Plus members will hear Prudie and Helen discuss a letter writer who has conflicting feelings about her high school bully who recently committed suicide, and another letter from a woman who wants to reconnect with her ex through social media, but is being thwarted by her ex’s partner. Not yet a member? Sign up at Slate.com/PrudiePod. Email: [email protected] Production by Phil Surkis Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Prudence is joined this week by Sarah Shourd, a multi-media journalist based in Oakland, California. Her work combines fiction with rigorous journalism to elevate marginalized voices. She’s now working collaboratively on a graphic novel as a JSK Fellow at Stanford. Together they tackle letters about what to do when you find yourself with diminishing social invitations because of your sickliness, how to handle your husband who wants to reconnect with his friend who was convicted of possession of child pornography, how to put the brakes on a new overbearing friendship without offending them, what to consider when the love of your life offers you good (not great) sex, how to handle a soon to be sister-in-law who demands that you remove pictures of your brother’s deceased first wife from your home. Slate Plus members will hear Prudie and Sarah discuss a letter writer who is wondering how to stop her distant family members from using her beach house without causing a family rift.  Not yet a member? Sign up at Slate.com/PrudiePod. Email: [email protected] Production by Phil Surkis Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Prudence is joined this week by writer and artist, John Leavitt, whose work has appeared in The New Yorker, Motherboard, Racked, And Marvel Comics. Together they tackle letters about what to do when your husband requests consent for any and all physical contact, what to consider when you don’t feel the same sense of romance that your wife wants, what to do when your dad surprises you by taking you to an escort, should you tell your ex directly that you’re dating a mutual friend or let them find out on their own. Slate Plus members will hear Prudie and John discuss a letter writer who is wondering if it’s worth staying with her boyfriend, who’s embroiled with ex-wife and step daughter issues. Not yet a member? Sign up at Slate.com/PrudiePod. Email: [email protected] Production by Phil Surkis Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Prudence is joined this week by Janet Cheatham Bell, who left her position as a textbook editor in 1984 to become a consultant to authors, the book publishing industry, and to produce her own books. She recently moved to the San Francisco Bay Area to be near her three amazing granddaughters. Together they tackle letters about what to do when you inadvertently become your lover’s therapist, how to handle an ex-boyfriend who keeps telling everyone you’re still together, how to handle colleagues who don’t understand that you enjoy being single without children, should you leave a job you love after a failed work affair left you with unrequited feelings for a colleague, can you salvage a friendship after sleeping with your bestie. Also, Prudie and Janet respond to a voicemail from a woman who is wondering if it’s appropriate to invite her seriously ill mentor to her wedding. Slate Plus members will hear Prudie and Janet discuss a letter writer who has a roommate who refuses to take better care of her dog. Not yet a member? Sign up at Slate.com/PrudiePod. Email: [email protected] Production by Phil Surkis Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Prudence is joined this week by Justine D'Souza, a social media community management professional who also works for a youth helpline. Outside of work, she enjoys performing in operas, plays, and musicals. Together they tackle letters about what to do when your deceased friend’s mom finds you in social media and sends messages about her grief, how should you handle finding out your husband doesn’t share your dream of dog ownership, what to consider about secretly giving away your boyfriend’s dog, what to do when your wife changes her mind about a “hall pass” agreement, should you keep supporting an inefficient coworker because they desperately need a job Slate Plus members will hear Prudie and Justine discuss a letter writer who is triggered by her boss’s partner’s illness, and losing the ability to focus at work, and another letter writer who is overwhelmed by her husband’s close-knit family and their need for frequent gatherings. Not yet a member? Sign up at Slate.com/PrudiePod. Email: [email protected] Production by Phil Surkis Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Prudence is joined this week by Favianna Rodriguez, an interdisciplinary artist, cultural organizer, and political activist based in Oakland, California. Her art addresses migration, economic inequality, gender justice, and ecology. She is also the Executive Director of CultureStrike, a national arts organization that engages artists, writers and performers in migrant rights. Together they tackle letters about what to do when your dad can’t get your transgender cousin’s pronouns right, how to handle gift giving in-laws who are cluttering your home with homemade knick-knacks, what actions to take if you feel your friends are taking advantage of your emotional and financial stability, how to tell the person that took you off the streets and fed you that you don’t like their cooking, what to do when your parents will no longer pay your college tuition because changed your major. Slate Plus members will hear Prudie and Favianna discuss a letter writer who is devastated that her younger sister didn’t include her in her wedding party, despite all the support given to her through the years. Not yet a member? Sign up at Slate.com/PrudiePod. Email: [email protected] by Phil Surkis Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Prudence is joined this week by Martha Rynberg, an Oakland based writer and performer. She is the principal director of the Solo Performance Workshop, and is getting an online masters degree in how to keep cats from scratching on leather furniture. Together they tackle letters about what to do when your coworkers never show up for your important life events, how to decide whether to tell a friend that a painting in her home is racially offensive, how to tell your sister that her cooking tips are not welcome on top when you’re already preparing meals for her kids as a favor, how to deal with a racist cousin who you only see during the holidays, how to decide if there’s enough trust to continue an otherwise supportive relationship, what actions to take when you realize your ready to let go of a casual friendship. Slate Plus members will hear Prudie and Martha discuss a letter writer who is wondering how he discourage his younger brother from quitting his lucrative job, even though you did the same thing to start your own business. Not yet a member? Sign up at Slate.com/PrudiePod. Email: [email protected] Production by Phil Surkis Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Prudence is joined this week by a close personal, if not a bit judgmental, friend, Maddie Chavez. Maddie’s judgements are known to be true of heart and strong of will.    Together they tackle letters about how to handle a boyfriend who thinks you’re perfect and blames himself for everything, how to come clean from the tall tales you once told as a teen, how to tell your husband after many years that you never liked your wedding ring, what actions to take when your partner isn’t hearing your concerns about the prospect of having children, how to protect your newly trans brother from the wrath of your unaccepting parents, what actions to take when you’ve decided it’s time to seek help for your mental health, but your parents have more of a “suck it up” attitude. Slate Plus members will hear Prudie and Maddie discuss a letter writer who is worried that his girlfriend doesn’t have friends outside of their relationship. Not yet a member? Sign up at Slate.com/PrudiePod. Email: [email protected] Production by Phil Surkis Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Prudence is joined this week by writer and film critic Willow Maclay. Maclay runs the website Curtsies and Hand Grenades, and is co-author of the upcoming book Corpses, Fools and Monsters: An Examination of Transgender Cinema.  Together they tackle letters about how to get along with the normal but sometimes annoying family that took you in, what to do when you can no longer afford the travel expenses in your long distance relationship, how to handle an cheating ex-fiance you still have feelings for, how to handle your family’s demands for holiday time when they don’t align with your partner’s family, what actions to take when your wife of 25 years suddenly blames you for the life she didn’t have. Also, Prudie reads a letter from a white woman who is wondering if it’s wrong that she feels more connected to black children than children of other races. Slate Plus members will hear Prudie and Willow discuss a letter writer who wants to be single, but is afraid of loneliness, and another letter writer who is wondering if she should help her alcoholic mom who abandoned her. Not yet a member? Sign up at Slate.com/PrudiePod. Email: [email protected] by Phil Surkis Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Prudence is joined this week by journalist and comedian Francesca Fiorentini. Fiorentini is a correspondent with Explorer on the National Geographic Channel and a regular guest on The Young Turks. She’s also the host and creator of The Bitchuation Room podcast. Together they take on letters about how to handle a neighbor who keeps trying to kiss you and is also your wife’s good friend, should you tell your friend that her porn and weed addicted fiancé might not be the one, what to do when you girlfriend’s needy family is keeping your relationship from advancing, what to do when the treehouse once used by your grandchildren is now causing tension with your neighbors. Slate Plus members will hear Prudie and Francesca discuss a letter writer who is wondering if her tendency to cry easily will jeopardize her ability to secure a new job. Not yet a member? Sign up at Slate.com/PrudiePod. Email: [email protected] by Phil Surkis Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Prudence is joined this week by author and activist, Ebony Adams. Adams is the co-host of the podcast, Feminist Frequency Radio, along with Anita Sarkeesian and Carolyn Petit. She is also the co-author of the recently published History vs Women: The Defiant Lives That They Don’t Want You To Know.  Together they dig into letters about how to handle a missed anniversary by your perpetually tardy boyfriend, what to consider about allowing your teenage daughter’s boyfriend to move in, how to handle a stepdad who raised you, but now doesn’t want to know you, how to handle parents who you know will be disappointed with your “coming out” conversation, what to do about your boyfriend’s newfound group of young and attractive admirers. Slate Plus members will hear Prudie and Ebony tackle letters about what to do you when your husband’s sleep schedule doesn’t allow for “sexy time”, and how to handle a professor who keeps triggering you by suggesting exercise. Not yet a member? Sign up at Slate.com/PrudiePod. Email: [email protected] by Phil Surkis Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Facing an empty guest chair, Prudence grabs Phil Surkis, the producer of the Dear Prudence podcast, and takes him on a journey through Prudie’s past, revisiting a few of the memorable letters of 2018. Prudie and guests Anna Luberoff, Jess Reynolds, Justine D’Souza, Baby Ange, Paola Dayanan, Myq Kaplan, and Kim Brinckerhodff, take on letters about whether you should tell your boss you attended a holiday party when you’ve been off on medical leave, what to do when your husband leaves you to do all the housework for his step-kids, how to handle a boss who searches through your desk and emails, what to do when you find yourself falling in love with the co-parent of the child you’re raising, should you confront your friend who grabs handfuls of expensive bulk snacks in the grocery store without paying, what to consider if you want to kidnap a dog to get it fixed, and what to do when you’ve accidentally been added to a cruel group text about you. Slate Plus members will hear Prudie and Dominique Matt discuss a letter writer who is considering having sex with their first cousin. Not yet a member? Sign up at Slate.com/PrudiePod. Email: [email protected] Production by Phil Surkis Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Prudence is joined this week by Julia Furlan, a Brooklyn-based journalist and podcast maker who is trying to learn how to hold a grudge. Together they take on letters about what to do when racist thoughts influence your choice of sperm donor, should you leave your stable job to take the family on a year long sailing trip, how to approach the “do you want kids” question on first dates, what actions to take when your coworker talks to you in sexy (yet creepy) voice, how to handle your husband rejecting your decision to transition. Slate Plus members will hear Prudie and Julia tackle letters about what to do when you accidentally hit your girlfriend after she “surprise” scares you, and how to handle a friend’s uncle who gave you a lap dance. Not yet a member? Sign up at Slate.com/PrudiePod. Email: [email protected] by Phil Surkis Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Prudence is joined this week by writer Soraya McDonald, the culture critic for The Undefeated on ESPN. Previously, she wrote about pop culture for the Washington Post, focusing on issues surrounding race, gender, and sexuality. Together, they dig into letters about what to do with your unused fertility drugs that are taking up precious fridge space, how to handle an unstable mother-in-law who’s adamant about not inviting a beloved family member to your wedding, should you abide your husband’s request for a dominatrix in the wake of your waning sex life, how to handle an annoying coworker who tries to ingratiate herself into my coffee breaks by begging me to buy her coffee.  Slate Plus members will hear Prudie and Soraya discuss a letter writer who is wondering what actions he can take to not upset his mother with his new boundary of not coming home for the holidays. Not yet a member? Sign up at Slate.com/PrudiePod. Email: [email protected] Production by Phil Surkis Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Prudence is joined this week by San Francisco writer Laura Turner, who also happens to be Prudie’s older sister. Together, they tackle letters about what actions to take when you’re friends with a married couple who abuse each other, what to do when your boss schedules the holiday party on your religious day of rest, should you have another baby even though the fate of your marriage is uncertain, how to handle a father who posts his erotic artwork in social media along with the family photos, how to break it to your husband that you’ve been hiding that you’re no longer a vegetarian, what to do when you’re exhausted from supporting your friend through her addictions. Slate Plus members will hear Prudie and Laura discuss a letter writer who is wondering if she can not invite a racist aunt to her wedding and not offend the rest of her family. Not yet a member? Sign up at Slate.com/PrudiePod. Email: [email protected] Production by Phil Surkis Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Prudence is joined this week by Chris Randle, a New York based writer who came here from Canada. He's written for places like Hazlitt, The New York Times Magazine, Pitchfork, and Real Life. Together, they dig into letters about how to handle a brother who is weirded out because he’s dating your ex, how to decide if you should you help someone in your friends circle who’s not actually your friend, what to do about a boyfriend who is always testing you and questioning your commitment, how to handle your husband’s teenage cousin who has a crush on you, what actions to take with a husband who monetarily supports his mother and sister instead of contributing to your household, how to handle your grad school social anxiety and still get some work done. Slate Plus members will hear Prudie and Chris discuss a letter writer who is wondering how to stop paying a friend’s way whenever they socialize. Not yet a member? Sign up at Slate.com/PrudiePod. Email: [email protected] Production by Phil Surkis Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Prudence is joined this week by Sophie Bee, a writer, speaker, nightlife promoter, and activist. She has written about film, music, queerness, and sex work. She is an organizer with Support Ho(s)e, a Chicago and New York City based collective advocating for sex worker rights. Together, they tackle letters about what to do when your ex-wife tells your daughter that you are to blame for their divorce, how to handle being sober around your drinking buddies, what to do when your sister says she’ll harm herself if you continue to contact your mother, how to handle your teenage students lack of fact checking, what to do when your mother continues contact with your abusive ex-husband. Slate Plus members will hear Prudie and Sophie discuss a letter writer who is wondering what actions to take with a boss who’s implemented a “no pooping” policy, and another letter about what to do when your knowledge of who’s cheating could destroy close friendships. Not yet a member? Sign up at Slate.com/PrudiePod. Email: [email protected] Production by Phil Surkis Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Prudence is joined this week by Carta Monir, an Ignatz award-winning cartoonist living in Ann Arbor, Michigan, and Grace Lavery, an Assistant Professor of English at UC Berkeley. Together, this power trio tears into letters about what to do when your father disapproves of your decision to keep your maiden name, how to handle your daughter’s sleepovers with a male identified transgender friend, should you get back together with your boyfriend when he prioritizes his mother and sister over you, how to reenter the dating world after decades out of the game, what to consider when your whole life is ahead of you, but you feel paralyzed from making the life you want. Slate Plus members will hear Prudie, Carta and Grace discuss a letter writer who is wondering how to handle a cousin who wants to be the family peacemaker, and another letter from a mom who can’t decide if she should tell her children that their friend is in a psychiatric hospital.  Not yet a member? Sign up at Slate.com/PrudiePod. Email: [email protected] Production by Phil Surkis Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Prudence is joined this week by Jenée Desmond-Harris, an op-ed editor at the New York Times. One of the resolutions she's been working on all year is to become someone who inspires people say "you don't suffer fools". Together they tackle letters about what actions you can take when your abusive ex-spouse to-be threatens your safety, should you tell your brother who never sides with you the reasons why you’re cutting off contact, what to do when you and your boyfriend want to go out, but never seem to leave the couch, how to tell your family you want to break from the church values they still adhere to, how to maintain professionalism while dealing with misogynistic customers, what to do when your husband’s hobby of collecting rare animals has made your home life intolerable. Also, a voicemail from a listener who is wondering how to handle a frequent drunk calling cousin who always wants to process their painful childhood. Slate Plus members will hear Prudie and Jenée discuss a letter writer who is wondering how to handle a condescending boss who appropriates your ideas as their own. Not yet a member? Sign up at Slate.com/PrudiePod. Email: [email protected] Production by Phil Surkis Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

 Prudence is joined this week by Anna Sale, the host of the podcast, Death, Sex & Money, a show about the things we think about a lot and need to talk about more. Together they dig into letters about how to spend the holidays with a sister who is alarmingly neglectful to her own daughter, what to do when you suspect your bilingual colleagues are talking about you in your presence, what actions to take when you know you can’t take anymore of your abusive spouse, how to handle a sister who’s comfort around sex talk makes you ill at ease, what to do when your co-worker’s loud chewing sounds drives you up the wall, what to consider when you’re trying to be selective about who you babysit.   Slate Plus members will hear Prudie and Anna discuss a letter writer who is wondering what his obligation is to an absentee father now in need of help. Not yet a member? Sign up at Slate.com/PrudiePod. Email: [email protected] by Phil Surkis Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Prudence is joined this week by Hillary Eason and her brother, Tyler Eason. Hillary works in international development in Washington DC. Tyler is a data engineer in the Bay Area. They claim to have another sibling who is arguably better at giving advice, but she was not available. Together they tackle letters about how to handle accepting your top secret dream job that you’re not allowed to mention to anyone, should you tell your  grieving parents that your sister who died in a car accident was pregnant at the time, what to do when you’ve only had crushes and would now wish to enter the world of dating, what to consider when your daughter wants you to financially support her through her unplanned pregnancy, how to handle a woman demanding to know if she is the daughter of your deceased husband, what actions you can take to mend an old broken friendship in light of your kids now being in preschool together. Slate Plus members will hear Prudie, Hillary and Tyler discuss a letter writer who is triggered by his wife who gets upset whenever he attempts to make plans to see friends or family. Not yet a member? Sign up at Slate.com/PrudiePod. Email: [email protected] by Phil Surkis Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Prudence is joined this week by Tyler Mead, an associate producer of the queer comedy podcast, "Inside the Closet" hosted by comedians Emma Willmann and Matteo Lane. Together they dig into letters about what to do when the #metoo news has you not wanting to be touched by your boyfriend, what to do when your innocent texts lead to overblown fights, what to consider when surreptitiously seeking a sperm donor, how to handle your declining social status due to your husband’s job, what actions to take when your boss uncomfortably comments on your social media pics. Slate Plus members will hear Prudie and Tyler discuss a letter writer who is wondering how to handle a niece who ungraciously refused to be gifted a car, and then demanded a cosigner for a car loan instead. Not yet a member? Sign up at Slate.com/PrudiePod. Email: [email protected] Production by Phil Surkis Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Prudence is joined this week by Folu Akinkuotu, an internet person who lives in Boston. She’s an obsessive home baker who is always happy to share her baked goods from the endless supply in her purse. She has a better haircut than you and has never once logged off. Together they tackle letters about how to tell your husband you want to return to sex work to help make ends meet, what to do after rediscovering your childhood step sister on social media, how to handle your husband’s gleeful response to the news of his mother’s death, what to do when your husband’s comments about your appearance leave you feeling shame, what to do when you find yourself attracted to your friend’s social media pics.. Slate Plus members will hear Prudie and Folu discuss a letter writer who is wondering what actions to take after discovering her husband impregnated her friend.Not yet a member? Sign up at Slate.com/PrudiePod. Email: [email protected] by Phil Surkis Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Prudence is joined this week by Washington DC based writer, Zoë Selengut. Zoë works as a cataloger of rare and unusual books, ephemera, and other surprising cultural materials for Brian Cassidy Bookseller. Together they dig into letters about what to do when you discover the nonprofit you work for is definitely providing it’s employees a living wage, how to handle the realization your older brother touched you inappropriately when he was a teen, how to tell your parents you’re polyamorous without them disowning you, what actions to take when similarly named neighbor lies and tells everyone that you’re sisters. Slate Plus members will hear Prudie and Zoë discuss a letter writer who’s wondering how to preserve her friendship with a bestie who resents her successful dating life, and a mother who is wondering if she should disinvite her son from the family vacation because he lets his baby daughter cry alone at night.  Not yet a member? Sign up at Slate.com/PrudiePod. Email: [email protected] Production by Phil Surkis Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Prudence is joined this week by San Francisco based game critic, Carolyn Petit. Carolyn is the managing editor at Feminist Frequency, and a co-host on their podcast, Feminist Frequency Radio, alongside Anita Sarkeesian and Ebony Adams. Together they tackle letters about how to handle a boyfriend is who pressuring you to move in, what to do when you notice your daughter exploring her gender identity, what actions to take when an old acquaintance suddenly fills your phone with distressing texts, how to decide if you should offer support to your teenage daughter’s first ex-boyfriend, and what to when your husband chronically under appreciates you. Prudie and Carolyn also respond to a voicemail from a listener who is wondering if she should honor her father’s will that was written out of anger. Slate Plus members will hear Prudie and Carolyn discuss a letters writer who is wondering how to handle her anger towards her mom who gave her toddler oral herpes, and another letter from an atheist who is wondering if she should get baptized to ease the anxiety of her elderly grandmother. Not yet a member? Sign up at Slate.com/PrudiePod. Email: [email protected] by Phil Surkis Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Prudence is joined this week by writer, actor and comedian Zahra Noorbakhsh. Zahra is co-host of the podcast #GoodMuslimBadMuslim, and The Pop Culture Collaborative has named her their Senior Fellow on Comedy for Social Change.  Together they dig into letters about what to do when your husband’s picky eating habits leave him uninvited to family events, what actions to take when your husband is planning suicide after the kids move out, how to handle a husband who says he wants a baby, but freaks out when the topic comes up, what to consider when your friend is enabling her boyfriend to have sex with much younger people, and finally, how to handle your insurance company after your decision to to get top surgery. Slate Plus members will hear Prudie and Zahra discuss a letter writer who is wondering how to handle a daughter who is shaming her for dating 18 months after her husband’s death.. Not yet a member? Sign up at Slate.com/PrudiePod. Email: [email protected] by Phil Surkis Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Prudence is joined this week by Assistant Professor of English at UC Berkeley, Grace Lavery. Her first book, “Quaint, Exquisite: Victorian Aesthetics And The Idea Of Japan,” is forthcoming with Princeton University Press in 2019, and she is currently working on a book on the idea of technique. Together they take on letters about what to do when the new skirt you love elicits unwanted reactions from strangers and friends, how to handle the urge to make your mundane tasks at work more titillating, what to do when your pill popping husband  is no longer welcome at family events, how to handle a workplace crush when you also cherish and love your long term relationship, and finally, how to handle parents who show up empty handed to your toddler’s birthday. Slate Plus members will hear Prudie and Grace discuss a letter writer who’s wondering what actions she can take when her husband falsely signed documents for his colleague so that his colleague’s child can attend school in a different district. Not yet a member? Sign up at Slate.com/PrudiePod. Email: [email protected] by Phil Surkis Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Prudence is joined this week by Portland based author and technology expert Brook Shelley. Brook works for Turbine Labs and chairs the board for Basic Rights Oregon. Together they tackle letters about what to do when your stressed out sister’s only language is complaining, how to handle your own guilt for not being “lesbian enough”, what actions to take when your racist uncle yells at his biracial stepdaughter, how to tell your boyfriend that you faked every orgasm in their relationship. Slate Plus members will hear Prudie and Brook discuss a letter writer who is wondering what actions she can take from being triggered every time she hears yelling in her rowdy college town, and what to do when your sister takes advantage of your family’s kindness. Not yet a member? Sign up at Slate.com/PrudiePod. Email: [email protected] by Phil Surkis Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Prudence is joined this week by comedian Kate Willett, who has appeared on Comedy Central and Viceland. She has an album called Glass Gutter, and has a new special out on The Comedy Lineup on Netflix. Together they tackle letters about how to get out of a friend’s wedding when you have issues with their religion, what to do when your pregnant daughter’s homecoming threatens your retirement, should an Airbnb host’s racist neighbor be part of your review, how to handle telling your girlfriend about your past infidelities, what to you when your family pushes back your decision to support your late husband’s stepdaughter.Slate Plus members will hear Prudie and Kate discuss a letter writer who is wondering what actions she should take so her family will stop treating her like a child, especially in public. Not yet a member? Sign up at Slate.com/PrudiePod. Email: [email protected] by Phil Surkis Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Prudence is joined this week by Jane McGonigal, the inventor of SuperBetter, a mobile game that has helped over a million people recover faster from depression and traumatic brain injury. Together they take on letters about what to do when you feel your spouse overshares about her work, how to handle feelings of guilt when your libido doesn’t match your partners, and what actions you should take when you find out your adult daughter and your neighbor have been having an affair. Slate Plus members will hear Prudie and Jane discuss a letter writer who is wondering how to handle a coworker who regularly berates colleagues they deem “inferior”, and what to do about a mother who has been taking the “silent treatment” too far for too long. Not yet a member? Sign up at Slate.com/PrudiePod. Email: [email protected] by Phil Surkis Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Prudence is joined this week by Sorcha Reilly, an Oakland native who works in litigation consulting. She's preparing for her MBA at INSEAD, and has been known to procrastinate by playing top 40 hits on the violin. Together they tackle letters what to do when a board game colleague regularly drinks and crosses the line, how to handle a mother who uses guilt to stay involved in your life, how to explain your sudden surgical weight loss and deal with a family who doesn’t support your decision, and what to do when a nosey sister-in-law threatens to break a neighborly bond. Slate Plus members will hear Prudie and Sorcha discuss a letter writer who is wondering if they should report a co-worker who lies on her timesheets, and a groom-to-be who asks how to handle the pushback he’s receiving from friends and coworkers over his decision to take his fiancée’s name. Not yet a member? Sign up at Slate.com/PrudiePod. Email: [email protected] by Phil Surkis Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Prudence is joined this week by Kim Brinckerhoff, a lifelong Bay Area resident working on her master's degree in nursing and who does sexual assault advocacy in her free time (and also thinks everyone needs therapy). Together they tackle letters about what to do when your child’s closed-door therapy sessions make you paranoid, how to talk to your co-workers about your pain-in-the-ass colleague, how to navigate money drama with your family when you’re supporting only your niece, what do when you’ve been accidentally added to a cruel group text about you, and should you consider leaving your partner because you hate their former partner who is very much a part of the family. Slate Plus members will hear Prudie and kim discuss an additional letter about how to talk to your boss about his disgusting cubicle habits. Not yet a member? Sign up at Slate.com/PrudiePod. Email: [email protected] by Max Jacobs Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Prudence is joined this week by writer and podcaster Colin Atrophy Hagendorf. Their memoir, Slice Harvester, is about eating a plain slice from every pizzeria in Manhattan, New York City history, and quitting drinking. They take on letters about what to do when you feel unsafe because of a roomate, how to talk to your husband about his family’s sexist accountant he insists on using for your business, what do when a neighbor’s child plays too rough with your kid, how to talk to your friends about their dangerous drunk driving habits and the trauma it brings up for you, and how to create some family harmony after your stepson’s new girlfriend tries to bud in with unwanted advice. Slate Plus members will hear Prudie and Colin discuss an additional voicemail about how to think about building credit responsibly. Not yet a member? Sign up at Slate.com/PrudiePod. Email: [email protected] by Max Jacobs Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Prudence is joined this week by writer John Thompson. Together they take on letters about how to talk to your parents about all your unpaid babysitting work, dealing with discomfort that your brother is dating a sex worker, how to avoid stoner shame, and how to really make clear to your partner that your vacation with his high school friends was just the worst. Slate Plus members will hear Prudie and John discuss an additional letter about facing a relationship’s end when you think you may be abusive to your partner. Not yet a member? Sign up at Slate.com/PrudiePod. Email: [email protected] by Max Jacobs Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Prudence is joined this week by writer, editor, and cool mom, Dominique Matti. Together, they tackle letters about how much you need to tell your work about your health problems, what do do about a casually racist coworker, should you involve your child’s school after your son was threatened by the kid he bullied, can you really consider having sex with your first cousin, and what to do when you think a coworker is targeting a recent immigrant in a predatory scheme. Slate Plus members will hear Prudie and Dominique discuss an additional letter about how talk to your father who recently revealed he may have been having an affair while your mother was still alive. Not yet a member? Sign up at Slate.com/PrudiePod. Email: [email protected] by Max Jacobs Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Prudence is joined this week by media critic Anita Sarkeesian. Together, they tackle letters about how to talk to your friends who aren’t receptive to your concerns that they may be co-opting your cultural and religious practices, what actions you can take to counter your neighbor’s girlfriend’s petty/childish/jealous behavior, should you consider talking to law enforcement about your neighbor’s drunk driving habits, how to talk with your sibling who feels abandoned after you left your dysfunctional home as a teenager, and how should you view your relationship after your girlfriend slapped you during an argument. Slate Plus members will hear Prudie and Anita discuss an additional letter about an executive assistant who wants to know their options after their boss crossed the line. Not yet a member? Sign up at Slate.com/PrudiePod. Email: [email protected] by Max Jacobs Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Prudence is joined this week by the Pulitzer Prize-winning author Jennifer Egan, whose latest book is Manhattan Beach. They take on letters that deal with what to expect from bosses when you have abusive co-workers, how to deal with the despair from having multiple miscarriages, and how to keep one’s family in your life after you’ve had to leave home. Slate Plus members will hear Prudie and Jennifer discuss an additional letter about how to talk to your sisters after years of meanness and teasing. Not yet a member? Sign up at Slate.com/PrudiePod. Email: [email protected] by Max Jacobs Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Prudence is joined this week by marriage and family therapist Abigail Stone and Rebecca Ganetzky, a clinical geneticist. Together, they dig into questions about what do do when your ex husband tries to rename your daughter, should you conceal your abuse history for a ten million dollar inheritance, what to consider when thinking about starting a long distance relationship because of school, and how to talk to your boss when you realize a future subordinate might make more money than you. Slate Plus members will hear Prudie, Abby, and Becca discuss additional letters about how to handle baby gifts meant for your soon-to-be-ex-husband and his mistress and should you consider breaking up when dog co-parenting doesn’t work out. Not yet a member? Sign up at Slate.com/PrudiePod. Email: [email protected] by Max Jacobs Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Today, we're coming to you with something special — the inaugural episode of Better Life Lab, the new podcast from Slate and New America. Better Life Lab looks at the challenges to work-life balance, and how we can change as a culture. Subscribe to Better Life Lab via: Apple Podcasts Overcast Spotify Stitcher Google Play Or wherever you get your shows.  Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Prudence is joined this week by Daniel Summers, a practicing pediatrician and regular contributing columnist to Slate’s Outward section, where he writes about health and medicine topics that affect the LGBTQ community. The Daniels take on questions about how to support your family when your dad suffers from extreme depression, is it ever ok to consider cheating, what can you say to your homophobic coworkers who tease another employee, how can you talk to your family about your strong desire to have children of a certain gender, and what should you do when you think you may have been inadvertently cruel to a coworker suffering from significant health challenges. Slate Plus members will hear the Daniels discuss an additional letter about what do when your husband’s political engagement online has overtaken his commitment to you and your child. Not yet a member? Sign up at Slate.com/PrudiePod. Email: [email protected] by Max Jacobs Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Prudence is joined this week by Talia Jane, a NYC-based aspiring comedy writer who makes smoothies for a living and who wants you to join a union. Daniel and Talia tackle questions about whether un-friending someone on social media because of their politics makes you a bad person, how to be a good partner to someone who may be questioning their gender, what can you do to start a new friend group in a new city, how to weigh an offer for a far away job with good healthcare when suffering from intense depression, and how to think of your family dynamic going forward when your brother married the woman who bullied you growing up. Slate Plus members will hear Prudie and Talia discuss additional letters about how to talk to your good friend who betrayed your trust and consent and what you can do for your niece-in-law when you feel your sister is being an evil stepmother. Not yet a member? Sign up at Slate.com/PrudiePod. Email: [email protected] by Max Jacobs Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Prudence is joined this week by Gavia Baker-Whitelaw,  a geek culture critic at the Daily Dot, and co-host of the podcast Overinvested. This week they take on letters about how to talk to your child about transgender identity, how to talk to others at work about the death of your child, what strategies can you use to politely address your coworkers when your illness can cause you to forget their names, how to be there for your sister when faced with spending time with her abusive partner, and how to be supportive of a good friend dealing with a bug infestation. Slate Plus members will hear Prudie and Gavis discuss an additional letter about fear over revenge porn. Not yet a member? Sign up at Slate.com/PrudiePod. Email: [email protected] by Max Jacobs Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Prudence is joined this week by Courtney C.W. Guerra, an editor and writer who's been giving advice as Dear Businesslady since 2014. Together, they tackle questions about talking to your partner who thinks they know how to do your job better than you, how do decide if you’re ready for a big move for a new job, what obligations do you have to answer work texts when your job provides your phone, how to talk to your parent about not wanting their new partner to officiate your wedding, and is there an appropriate way to see if my job interviewer felt the sparks the same way I did? Slate Plus members will hear Prudie and Courtney discuss an additional letter about weighing your options when you want to hire a close friend to work for you. Not yet a member? Sign up at Slate.com/PrudiePod. Email: [email protected] by Max Jacobs Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Prudence is joined this week by researcher and writer Jamie Fisher. Together they take on questions about whether or not to visit a close platonic friend that makes their partner jealous, how to talk to my partner about the fact that sex might be off the table, what can I do to deal with my fiance’s family (and their dogs) who don’t take seriously my trauma from a childhood dog attack, and how to find peace and joy when dating has proven unsuccessful. Slate Plus members will hear Prudie and Jamie discuss additional voicemails, one about how to deal with strangers who constantly mistake a new mom for still being pregnant, and the last about a college student trying to decide if they should take classes for their major or just for fun. Not yet a member? Sign up at Slate.com/PrudiePod. Email: [email protected] by Max Jacobs Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Prudence is joined this week by writer and activist Jaclyn Friedman. Together they tackle questions about whether it’s ever ok to misgender someone when talking to a doctor, when to establish boundaries when working as a personal assistant, how to think about your own sexuality when your parents and therapist have reacted with homophobia, where to look for new purpose and joy at an older age, what kind of conversation to have with your in-laws who put their dirty shoes on the couch, and how to navigate wedding invites to friends who have multiple partners (and some of whom you don’t like). Slate Plus members will hear Prudie and Jaclyn discuss an additional letter about how a young company might need to rethink their nude beach work outings. Not yet a member? Sign up at Slate.com/PrudiePod. Email: [email protected] by Max Jacobs Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Prudence is joined this week by standup comedian Myq Kaplan, who hosts the new podcast Broccoli and Ice Cream, and who is making his second appearance on the show. Together they take on questions about how to decide if your partner is being vulnerable or controlling in a polyamorous relationship, what to do if you think you might be racist, how to appease your mother about miniscule wedding invite details when she is paying and whether or not you should kidnap a dog to get it fixed. Slate Plus members can hear Prudie and Myq discuss an additional letter about a difficult discussion surrounding close friends, partners, and consent. Not yet a member? Sign up at Slate.com/PrudiePod. Email: [email protected] by Max Jacobs Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Prudence is joined this week by Jessie Lane, a social worker, mother, excellent cook, and holder of many opinions (and in this episode, holder of a baby). They tackle questions about how to deal with a coworker who tells the boss about their seemingly private suggestions for workplace improvement, how to tell your family about your sister’s boyfriend’s predatory behavior, what to do when your kid doesn’t fit in well with your family’s childcare, how to deal with a queer friend offended by a straight partner’s bigoted remarks, and how to deal with a male friend who feels too distracted by female friends to continue the friendship. In the full-length, ad-free version of the show, Slate Plus members can hear Prudie and Jessie Lane tackle additional an additional voicemail about what do when your parent decides to marry their high school girlfriend (whom they haven’t seen in 50 years) just a few months after being widowed. Not yet a member? Sign up at Slate.com/PrudiePod. Email: [email protected] by Max Jacobs Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Prudence is joined this week by Aria Velasquez, an audience engagement editor at Slate. First up, I’m worried my discussion with my eight year old about me and my husband’s sexual orientation has greatly confused her, please help! Next...my family is struggling after an awful accident in which my father killed a neighbor’s dog and in which my kids blame themselves. I think I may have found “the one” but our interactions with another couple leave us both feeling outrageously jealous… (only for Slate Plus) Following that: my coworker is taking all the communal office food and I’d like to speak up without hurting their feelings, is this possible? And lastly, I’m giving a lot of financial support to one of my granddaughters after a terrible car accident in which she’ll need lifetime medical support, but some of my children and grandchildren are reacting with greed and not empathy and I’m at a loss for how to speak with them. Hear more Prudence by joining Slate Plus: Slate.com/Prudiepod. Email: [email protected] by Max Jacobs Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Prudence is joined this week by Kayla Whaley, a writer living outside Atlanta with a focus on disability, sexuality, and the body. First, this letter writer has a great job but is feeling anxious about her close friend applying for any available job at the company. Next, this letter writer has been in a long term and long distance relationship where communication is difficult and they sometimes go weeks without talking - is it time to think about moving on? My close friend is experiencing terrible anxiety and texts me throughout the day, but I don’t know how much longer I can provide this kind of support, help! And lastly, a voicemail from a caller who is still feeling hurt from comments a stranger on the street made towards her in passing. Hear more Prudence by joining Slate Plus: Slate.com/Prudiepod. Email: [email protected] by Max Jacobs Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Prudence is joined this week by Paola Dayanan, a TV-obsessed HR professional from Northern Virginia. First, a letter writer struggles with work after two devastating losses and a manager who doesn’t seem supportive. Next, a concerned letter writer cannot contain their horror as they watch their friend grab handfuls of expensive bulk snacks while walking through the grocery store without paying - is a confrontation looming? Then, a friend group questioned this letter writer’s sexuality and very identity and they’re having trouble coming to terms with it and wondering if the friendship is salvageable. Hear more Prudence by joining Slate Plus: Slate.com/Prudiepod. Email: [email protected] by Max Jacobs Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Prudence is joined by Krystal Farmer: twitter, podcast, and emo music enthusiast. First, my partner will no longer accompany me to my family’s gathering because of the “redneck BS” he hears - what can I do? Next, my family won’t turn off their Alexa device when we stay there, even though it really creeps us out - are we being unreasonable or are they? And, a group of single moms who help each other out with carpool and childcare are tired of one mom whose efforts they don’t think are cutting it. Hear more Prudence by joining Slate Plus: Slate.com/Prudiepod. Email: [email protected] by Max Jacobs Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Prudence is joined by Margie Omero, a Democratic pollster and co-host of the bipartisan podcast “The Pollsters.” First up, my life feels unglamorous and the TV shows I watch just make me bitter, how can I address this? Next, I have a great relationship with my mother, but she owes me money I need for rent, help! Then, my wife often changes the gender of traditional male-dominated stories when she reads them to our daughter and I worry this could be jarring for her when she is able to read them for herself. Hear more Prudence by joining Slate Plus: Slate.com/Prudiepod. Email: [email protected] by Max Jacobs Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Prudence is joined by Baby Ange, host of the podcast Femme Too Deep. First up, a letter about “sex negativity” - this letter-writer did not enjoy sex with their partner but is having trouble finding constructive words to talk about it. Next, a father (and we suspect, not a regular listener) struggles with watching his teenage daughter grow up. Then, two co-parents are falling for eachother: should they go for it? And finally, a letter-writer worries that his brief courtship with a woman recently widowed was ended because of his inconsiderate comments. Hear more Prudence by joining Slate Plus: Slate.com/Prudiepod. Email: [email protected] by Max Jacobs Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Prudence is joined by Olga Kreimer, a journalist and grad student who writes an aggressively earnest advice column at the LA Review of Books. First up: will it be awkward if I don’t mention my husband in the acknowledgment of my first book since he was super unsupportive of my writing process? As a teacher near Parkland, I’m having serious anxiety about our school’s preparedness for a shooting, but administrators aren’t taking my concerns seriously - what can I do? And lastly, my in-laws make wild accusations about folks in their hometown where I now live - what can I do and what if some of them are true? Hear more Prudence by joining Slate Plus: Slate.com/Prudiepod. Email: [email protected] by Max Jacobs Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Prudence is joined by Josh Gondelman, stand up comedian and writer for Last Week Tonight with John Oliver. First up, my Uncle says he won’t come to my wedding unless he’s joined by the woman he had an affair with, but my Aunt and their kids are still devastated - help! Next, I’m worried I’m an abusive partner to my husband - how can I know and what do I need to do next? My spouse’s family takes their made up holidays very seriously and sometimes insist on family portraits with “blood relatives only,” but there are a lot of folks who have married in… how can I bring up how crappy this feels? Hear more Prudence by joining Slate Plus: Slate.com/Prudiepod. Email: [email protected] by Max Jacobs Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Prudence is joined by powerhouse couple Gillian Evans and Lucy Mueller to help answer letters. First up: I’ve begun fostering a young child whose parents want me to prepare halal meals for him, but my family’s diet is much different - what should I do? Next, my parents keep insisting I need a roommate, but I am financially independent and don’t need their input…how can I politely tell them to respect my choices? I have a medical condition that makes sex painful - a surgical fix would mean months without sex, and I worry for my partner during that time. And lastly, how can I share my recent good news with friends who are going through hard times? Hear more Prudence by joining Slate Plus: Slate.com/Prudiepod. Email: [email protected] by Max Jacobs Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Prudence is joined by Justine D’Souza, a Phone Support Counselor for a youth helpline. We start with a job seeker who has concerns about disclosing their health problems during the interview process. Then, an employee whose boss searches their desk and email inbox when they step out, calling them out for...their yogurt spoons. A loving spouse no longer feels attracted to their trans partner and needs some guidance. And lastly, a letter-writer doesn’t want to feel like a “cruise-director” to their bored husband. Hear more Prudence by joining Slate Plus: Slate.com/Prudiepod. Email: [email protected] by Max Jacobs Please fill out the Slate podcast survey at slate.com/podcastsurvey Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Prudence is joined by Jolie Kerr, a cleaning expert, advice columnist and host of the podcast, Ask a Clean Person. We begin with a concerned letter-writer whose sister is involved with a reckless and dangerous partner on how she can remain supportive while advocate for her sister’s well being. Next, this reader just frankly doesn’t want to be friends with her eager neighbor but they’ve picked up on none of the “I don’t want to be friends” hints. And lastly, a husband of 35 years is feeling at a loss because his wife no longer wants to sleep with him. Hear more Prudence by joining Slate Plus: Slate.com/Prudiepod. Email: [email protected] by Max Jacobs Please fill out the Slate podcast survey at slate.com/podcastsurvey Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Prudence is joined by writer and self-appointed mom friend Jess Reynolds. First up, my ex and I “split the sheets” (tamer than you might think) after our career paths didn’t align, but I’m feeling drawn to him again even though I’m engaged to someone else - help! Next up, my husband expects me to do a ton of housework for his stepkids. I’m feeling underappreciated and he’s not doing his share. Can I just check into a hotel and let them sort it out? Help! Hear more Prudence by joining Slate Plus: Slate.com/Prudiepod. Email: [email protected] by Max Jacobs Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Prudence is joined by hosts of the podcast By the Book: Kristen Meinzer and Jolenta Greenberg. First, how can I talk to my parents about feeling like I’m only acknowledged for academic achievements? Next, advice for an older sister unsure of how to help her brother who is demonstrating worrisome and creepy behavior. I’m keeping my baby, but friends don’t understand - what can I say? And lastly, I know instagram is all about putting your best self first, but I still want my own highlight reel and my partner doesn’t understand. Help! Hear more Prudence by joining Slate Plus: Slate.com/Prudiepod. Email: [email protected] by Max Jacobs Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Our first live show! Prudence is joined onstage at the Brava Theater in San Francisco by writer and advice columnist Nicole Cliffe and lawyer and novelist Jasmine Guillory who read through letters and answer questions from the crowd. The team helps a writer trying to find out how a former partner died when their only connection is through facebook. A supportive sister wants to tell her brother she knows he’s gay, but wants to respective his privacy. I told my partner about my racist upbringing, and it seems to have struck a nerve - what can I do? And lastly, how can I set boundaries for my parents and in-laws who keep score of who visits our baby and when? Hear back episodes of Prudence at Slate.com/Prudiepod.  Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

This week, writer Rohin Guha tells us of the joys of leaving Twitter post Trump election. First, the Prudence team takes on gender discrimination at a so-called forward-thinking progressive company. “Tired Asexual” asks “how do I regain my ability to appreciative media that shoehorns romantic interludes as stand-ins for all important interpersonal dynamics?” And lastly, when bird-sitting for neighbors, how can I confront them about their racist artwork? Hear more Prudence by joining Slate Plus: Slate.com/Prudiepod. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Prudence is joined this week by Charlotte Shane, author, essayist, and co-founder of TigerBee Press. First up - what to say when your sister compares your desire to have a child with adopting a cat. And how can I respectfully deal with attending friends’ engagements and weddings when I am still single and not feeling the festive spirit? Then - an affair with a famous person (of course we guess) has been going on for years, but do I need to alter my expectations? And finally, my wife got a great job in a distant city, but the kids and I don’t want to leave...are we jerks? Hear more Prudence by joining Slate Plus: Slate.com/Prudiepod. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

This week we tackle the timeless question of how to eat from a jar of peanut butter in public when you don’t have a utensil. Then, farmer, educator, and food justice advocate Anna Luberoff joins to help with the mailbag. First, when dealing with overwhelming grief, how can I remain present at work and do I need to speak with my co-workers who may not always understand what I’m going through? And speaking of office politics, do I need to speak to a higher-up after attending my company holiday party even though I was off work for medical leave? And lastly, what can I do about my cat lady neighbor peering into my window early in the mornings to say hi to my cats?  Hear more Prudence by joining Slate Plus: Slate.com/Prudiepod. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

This week we’re revisiting some of the trickiest, thorniest questions of the past year. First up: I’ve been engaged for five years with no wedding in sight. Help! What do I say to strangers who tell me I’m “not dark enough” to be from my home country? I’m terrified of the doll my wife made our kid – can I say something? And finally: My husband gets furious when I talk about bodily functions at the dinner table – is he right?  Hear more Prudence by joining Slate Plus: Slate.com/Prudiepod. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

This week we’re revisiting some of the trickiest, thorniest questions of the past year. First up: I keep lending my friend money and she never pays me back. Help! Then: I love my daughter-in-law, so why doesn’t my son want me talking to her? My employee technically isn’t doing anything wrong, except annoying everybody – what can I do? And finally: My boyfriend has refused to stock toilet paper since I bought him a bidet. Help! Hear more Prudence by joining Slate Plus: Slate.com/Prudiepod. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

We’re kicking off this week with some listener feedback on good problem to have – adjusting to earning enough money for more than just the essentials of life! And then, professional trans lesbian Elizabeth Mills joins to respond to your letters! First up: My sister is asking for cash for Christmas, but I’m afraid I’d be enabling destructive habits. What’s the right gift? My fiance doesn’t want me to stay friends with someone I hooked up with once. Help! My ailing sister moved home after a life of ignoring me and expects me to see to her every need! Help! And finally: How can I let go of my worries about being “too feminine” to be trans? Hear more Prudence by joining Slate Plus: Slate.com/Prudiepod. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

First up: An enthusiastic endorsement from Prudence for walking out of movies you don’t like! Then, academic and pop culture writer Anthony Oliveira joins to tackle your letters: How do I get my husband to stop using a body spray that makes me ill? My husband and I married young – should we open up our marriage to try new things? I adopted a lost cat as my own, but now I think I might’ve stolen it. And finally: My friends created a dumb nickname for my boyfriend and it stuck – how do I let it go so I don’t accidentally call him by it? Hear more Prudence by joining Slate Plus: Slate.com/Prudiepod. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Advice enthusiast and diversity consultant Valerie Aurora joins for a discussion of keeping your Christmas costumes away from Thanksgiving. Then onto your letters! First up: My best friends are growing closer and leaving me behind. Help! Should I tell my boyfriend I had an affair even though we’re breaking up anyway? I just found out that a former co-worker who assaulted me changed his name and became a doctor – should I report his violent behavior to his work? Hear more Prudence by joining Slate Plus: Slate.com/Prudiepod. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Listener Rachel Tibbetts joins for a doozy of a batch of sibling and family related letters. First up: my sister is repeating the same mistakes as my homewrecker father and she expects my support. Help! My parents never gave me a dime growing up and now my siblings are throwing a fit that they helped me buy a house. My ex is getting married three weeks after our divorce – what do I tell our kids? Should I warn my brother’s fiancee about his violent past? And finally: is it fair to ask my busy husband to do more? Hear more Prudence by joining Slate Plus: Slate.com/Prudiepod. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Dear Prudence is back with her annual reminder: it’s okay to ruin the holidays! Then, advice columnist Anna Pulley joins to respond to your letters! First up: can an open marriage save my sexless one? I moved to a retirement community where 1970s-style sexism runs rampant. Help! I’m in a happy and healthy relationship with a man slightly younger than me – why is my family so convinced he’s using me? And finally: how do I tell my accident-prone friend I don’t want her to hold my baby?Hear more Prudence by joining Slate Plus: Slate.com/Prudiepod. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Author Sarah Gailey joins Prudence to advise on matters of laundry, sisterhood, salary, and more! First up: what’s the protocol for abandoned clothes in a public dryer? Then: Should I tell my sister I think marrying her fiance is a mistake? My friends are icing me and I didn’t do anything wrong. Help! My therapist told another client – my dad – things I told her in a session. What do I do? And finally: how do negotiate for the salary I want in a final interview? Plus, hiring manager secrets from our guest!Hear more Prudence by joining Slate Plus: Slate.com/Prudiepod. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Prudence is back to tackle your letters! First up: I think my workplace is about to hire the terrible boss from my last job. Help! The love of my life left me for a friend of ours when I was pregnant with his child – am I supposed to try to co-parent with this woman? My new co-worker is giving off transphobic vibes – how can I open up her mind? Should I believe the stranger who told me my husband forced sex on her years ago? My marriage is dead, but I can’t bear the thought of divorce fallout – what do I do? Hear more Prudence by joining Slate Plus: Slate.com/Prudiepod. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Writer Rachael Herron joins Prudence to tackle a bundle of tricky letters! First up: Should I have said something to the men making sexist comments within earshot of my wife? My friend ignored my warnings about her terrible ex – now she says I abandoned her after their breakup. Help! How do I politely refuse donations from sources that my workplace is morally opposed to? How can I get my superiors to stop asking me for free work? Hear more Prudence by joining Slate Plus: Slate.com/Prudiepod. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Writer and Bitch magazine co-founder Lisa Jervis joins Prudence to hash out how to be the best “mysterious widow” – and respond to your letters! First up: Should I tell an acquaintance her boyfriend is a known rapist? My sister’s fertility battle is making her step-daughter feel like she doesn’t count as a child. Help! I’m disappointed with my wedding photos – what can I do to solve this? My friend asks to “split” an entree every time it’s her turn to buy lunch. Help! My mom calls me several times a week and only talks about herself – how do I get her to back off? Hear more Prudence by joining Slate Plus: Slate.com/Prudiepod. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Dear Prudence and guest Mary Goss navigate your family and relationship quandaries. First up: Is it selfish to feel fear after surviving tragedy when other people had it way worse? How can I get my hearing family to accept me? My adoptive sibling doesn’t get along with my biological family – what do I do? My friend gave me her blessing to date her ex and now she’s bad-mouthing me online. Help! My brother-in-law married into money and won’t stop talking about his lavish lifestyle – should I ask him to stop? Hear more Prudence by joining Slate Plus: Slate.com/Prudiepod. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

In a spirit of excitement and terror, Prudie and Washington Post writer Amanda Erickson, jump into your letters. First up: I punched an emotionally abusive family member in the face – how do I make it up to her? How do I get my in-laws to stop calling my bi-racial children “little monkeys?” My mom is neglecting my kid sister – what do I do? My adult friend carries a doll with her everywhere and I’m worried about her. Help! Hear more Prudence by joining Slate Plus: Slate.com/Prudiepod. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Y.A. fiction writer and advocate for the disabled Maggie Faid joins Prudie to consult on matters of wedding guests, grief, and giving iPads to strangers. Should I tell my best friend how sad I am that she can’t come to my wedding? My sister tells everyone she lost a child, but I don’t think a miscarriage counts. A stranger got mad at me for not letting her kid play with my iPad – did I do something wrong? Can I tell my brother not to spank his children when my kids are around? Is it self-serving to offer condolences to someone I hardly know? Hear more Prudence by joining Slate Plus: Slate.com/Prudiepod. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Former Toast editor Nikki Chung joins Prudie to tackle a thorny bunch of your letters! First up: I’m living with a slob and I can’t afford to move out. Help! How do I get my husband to be kinkier in the bedroom? I might have prompted my daughter to make a false accusation of sexual abuse – what do I do? I can’t fall out of love with my lesbian wife. Help! How should I split rent with my partner? And finally: Is it selfish not to go to my boyfriend’s sister’s wedding? Hear more Prudence by joining Slate Plus: Slate.com/Prudiepod. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Writer and commentator Lindy West joins Prudence to encourage Thelma-and-Louise-style road trips for jilted lovers and discourage kicking people out of wedding parties. First up in your letters: My boyfriend period shames me. Help! My fiancé has been postponing our marriage for five years – what should I do? Should I tell my sister-in-law that her kids’ grandpa is a convicted sex offender? And finally: I’m a lesbian, but I want to stay in my heterosexual marriage to preserve my family. Is that wrong? Hear more Prudence by joining Slate Plus: Slate.com/Prudiepod. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Today on Dear Prudence: baby-stealing, stalking, and insufficient wokeness. First up: My boss keeps joking about wanting to take my baby. Help! Should I tell potential employers I had a stalker? My husband’s kids found out he smokes weed and he’s blaming me for it. How do I put an end to the ongoing social justice one-upmanship by my friends? I’m a bisexual man who practices very safe sex – do I need to tell casual partners about my orientation? Hear more Prudence by joining Slate Plus: Slate.com/Prudiepod. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Buzzfeed's Nichole Perkins joins to help out with your letters! I was open about my depression on social media and only some of my friends reached out to me – should I stay close with the others? The woman who ruined my marriage got hit by a car... and I’m happy about it. Am I horrible? I’m a balding white man with a shaved head – could people think I’m a skinhead? I want to spend my recent windfall on my kids’ school, but my husband’s already earmarking it for himself. How do I tell my friend I won’t hang out with her if she doesn’t deal with her B.O.? My husband is obsessed with “checking in” on social media and won’t stop even when it causes trouble. Help! Hear more Prudence by joining Slate Plus: Slate.com/Prudiepod. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

First up: an exciting update on the one true way to date a former boss and how Prudie helped make it happen. Then, your letters! My mom wants me to discourage my daughter from doing “boy” things. My friends are convinced my boyfriend is a stalker! My boyfriend has bad table manners and I’m worried it’s going to have professional consequences for him. Help! I want to support a business trying to unionize, but I don’t know how to do it. And finally: is there a way to ask out a former student that isn’t creepy? Hear more Prudence by joining Slate Plus: Slate.com/Prudiepod. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Today, it’s a coming out party for first-time fig-eaters, brothers, people who don’t want to talk about their hair, artists, and more! First up: My dad wants my brother to wait to tell my conservative grandma he’s gay, but I think he should come out now. Who’s right? Then: I told my friend I loved her – now I want her out of my life and she won’t go away. Help! My parents stifled my creativity as a kid and now I’m terrified to try to use my artistic talents. I’m a cancer survivor – how do I tell my well-meaning co-workers to stop commenting on my hair growing back? And finally: is it transphobic to want a divorce from a partner who wants to transition? Hear more Prudence by joining Slate Plus: Slate.com/Prudiepod. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Today we’ve got a very important update regarding the bidet letter! Then, Ali St. James & Olivia Pourzia join Prudie to triple-team your problems. My parents are insisting on helping me furnish my grad school apartment, but keep hinting that it’s a financial burden on them. I abandoned the daughter I was forced to have – am I heartless? Help! My husband died in a car accident and all I feel is relief – what does this say about me? How can I get my best friend to be more open with me? And finally: my neighbors’ dog barks all day long – what do I do? Hear more Prudence by joining Slate Plus: Slate.com/Prudiepod. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Writer, commentator and professor Roxane Gay joins Prudie to tackle your problems with online dating, bosses, exes, kids, and more! How do I avoid matching with my students on online dating apps? My boss won’t stop telling me to smile. Help! Should I report the places my ex-husband frequented for sex for human trafficking? I’m in love with a prude – how do I spice up our sex life? And finally: How do I get my kids to be better at saving money? Should I force them to move home? Plus, an update on a past letter! Hear more Prudence by joining Slate Plus: Slate.com/Prudiepod. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Prudence is joined by guest Alyssa Furukawa to get real about what it means to say “I’m on my way.” Then, onto your letters! I’m a pansexual woman married to a cis man – should I still come out to my homophobic family? My in-laws won’t accept my disability and my husband’s not stepping in. Help! I told my tomboy friend she was “unf**kable” in college, but now she’s hot – can I try to date her? How do I make things right when my off-handed comments backfire? Hear more Prudence by joining Slate Plus: Slate.com/Prudiepod. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Dear Prudence is joined by BuzzFeed’s Bim Adewunmi to respond to your letters. First up: how do I handle people who tell me I’m not brown enough to be Indian? Then, romance issues: my best friend can’t get over my fiancé’s past and won’t come to our wedding. I told my parents I’m poly and my dad refuses to meet the man my husband and I are dating. And finally: how do I found out if my boss has feelings for me? Hear more Prudence by joining Slate Plus: Slate.com/Prudiepod. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Matt Albrecht and Hannah Malyn of the podcast “Matt and Hannah Know it All” join Prudie to advise on your inquiries. First up: I know I should end my friend-with-benefits relationship, but I don’t want to. How do I cut ties with an emotionally abusive friend? I’m in love with my child’s mother. Help! And lastly: am I supposed to tip every time an iPad asks me to? Hear more Prudence by joining Slate Plus: Slate.com/Prudiepod. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

First up: is a movie franchise trying to gaslight Prudie? Then, onto your letters: I’m a think I’m a pretty progressive mom, but I don’t understand the gender fluidity movement. I asked my friend not to drink with my alcoholic parents and she turned around and told my mom I said they couldn’t hang out. What do I do? My friend told me I was too fat to be in her wedding! And finally: I bought my boyfriend a bidet and now he refuses to buy toilet paper! Hear more Prudence by joining Slate Plus: Slate.com/Prudiepod. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

First up: how Prudie and her ex, Jamie Shuler, bonded over Flowers in the Attic. Then, the two tag team your letters, starting with a workplace matter of misplaced credit. Then, onto sibling strife: My sister lied about her dog dying – should I confront her about it? My sister expects me to watch her kids on our family vacation, which I’m paying for. Help! And, I think I’m in love with my ex-step-brother. What do I do? Hear more Prudence by joining Slate Plus: Slate.com/Prudiepod. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Writer and journalist Laurie Penny joins Prudence today to tackle your family and work quandaries! How can I convince my husband to buck social pressure and stick to being a stay-at-home dad? My apartment building reeks of pot and makes me nauseated – how do I make it stop without getting my neighbor in trouble? My husband keeps inviting his toxic father to visit and then ghosts me. Help! And finally, how do I stand my ground against harassment at work and still get tips? Hear more Prudence by joining Slate Plus: Slate.com/Prudiepod. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Comedian Myq Kaplan joins Prudence for a heated conversation about stoves. Then, onto your letters: Is meat a good enough reason to end a relationship? Should I fight for more money to close the gender wage gap even though I’m fairly paid? My son won’t let me talk to his wife without going through him. Help! And finally, a listener weighs in on pig’s milk. Hear more Prudence by joining Slate Plus: Slate.com/Prudiepod. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

First up, an opening statement from Prudence on the merits of 3D BC movies. Then, your letters! When is it okay to ask for exclusivity in a relationship? Can I cut down my reclusive neighbor’s dead tree? I’m trying to get back into the dating world, but last time I dated Tinder wasn’t even a thing. How do I do this? My boyfriend wants to be a “known” sperm donor for his friend, but I’m against it. I bought my son’s girlfriend a pregnancy test and her mom found out. Did I do something wrong? Hear more Prudence by joining Slate Plus: Slate.com/Prudiepod. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Prudie’s brother-in-law Zack Turner joins to advise on your family, workplace and relationship dilemmas! First up: How can I get my mom to stop shaming me for gaining weight my first year at college? Then: my introvert boyfriend refuses to socialize with my friends. My former boss resents me for taking over her old position. Should I say something to a slovenly employee whose bad hygiene is making everyone sick? Can I accept a promotion while training to work in an entirely different in my free time? I’m a full-time retail employee with benefits, but my family keeps asking when I’ll get a “real job.” Help! Hear more Prudence by joining Slate Plus: Slate.com/Prudiepod. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Prudence is joined by novelist Esmé Weijun Wang to advise on a batch of your family and relationship issues. First up: I fell in love with my dead husband’s best friend – then my in-laws found out and all hell broke loose. Help! When’s the right time to tell a date I’m asexual? My parents expect me to be their free marriage counselor! How do I tell my verbally abusive father to stop visiting me at college? My relatives are blaming me for my sister’s wedding choices! Hear more Prudence by joining Slate Plus: Slate.com/Prudiepod. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Prudie learns about birthday spankings this week! Plus, how smartphones ruined pushing your friends into pools. Then, your letters! Should I report the employee who creeped me out at an internship I no longer have? How do I let my friends and family know I’m upset they bailed on my big birthday? I’m in a dishwasher war with my mom. Help! I just came out to my husband and kids – how do I leave my marriage without hurting them? Executive Producer of Slate Podcasts Steve Lickteig joins Prudence. Hear more Prudence by joining Slate Plus: Slate.com/Prudiepod. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Prudie and guest Ben Gullard get real about handling criticism. Then they tackle your letters! First up, a new take on cat conundrums: My wife thinks I love our cat more than her and I think she may be right! I’m upset that my husband doesn’t want my son to live at home for the summer. And lastly, I want to be free to talk about gross things at the dinner table but my husband won’t have it. Plus, Dear Prudence investigates the origins of vaginal glue.Hear more Prudence by joining Slate Plus: Slate.com/Prudiepod. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Prudie kicks it off on a light note this week: we’re all going to die someday and the sky is scary. Then, onto your letters! My love worries that I’ll be giving up too much if we move across the country so he can take a rare opportunity. My husband refuses to go to the dentist and I don’t even want to kiss him anymore. How can I convince my partner I’m not going to “get over” autism? My boyfriend proposed and now refuses to talk about our wedding. How do I deal with an annoying employee? Hear more Prudence by joining Slate Plus: Slate.com/Prudiepod. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

First off, Prudie’s open door policy: open doors for people when it makes sense. Then onto your questions: My MIL is telling my nine-year-old to give up on school because she’ll be a stay-at-home mom one day. My wife says she supports my transition, but doesn’t want me to come out or ask people to use appropriate pronouns. I think my cousin is using his girlfriend to get into a better med school – should I say something? And more on cat-stealing: how do I ask my neighbors if I can take their neglected cat? Hear more Prudence by joining Slate Plus: Slate.com/Prudiepod. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

First, a plug for more rivalries to be battled out through the giving of jewels. Then, Prudence is joined by gem Ashley C. Ford to answer your questions! I got stuck with the dramatic girl in my night class to work on a group project – how do I handle this? My work suffered because I have depression and my bosses noticed – should I be open with them about what happened? My boyfriend gets jealous of my Facebook interactions so I blocked him – did I do something wrong? I’m overqualified for my job, but love the happiness it affords me – should I be more ambitious? Hear more Prudence by joining Slate Plus: Slate.com/Prudiepod. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Prudence is joined by award-winning Bay Area writer Charlie Jane Anders to give award-winning advice. First up: my sister remembers a completely different childhood than me and it’s driving a wedge in our relationship. Then, some parental problems: My parents are controlling all my life decisions and it’s ruining my life; my mom forced me to get an abortion when I was young and I’m still traumatized. Hear more Prudence by joining Slate Plus: Slate.com/Prudiepod. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Prudie says, nine times out of ten it is not a good idea to steal someone else’s pet. Then, your questions: My husband refuses to do anything about his snoring and it’s keeping my family up at night. My friend overcharged me for rent and lied about it, so I moved out and now our mutual friends think I’m the jerk. I’m not comfortable using the singular “they” to refer to trans people – could you make something else up for me? My girlfriend is jealous of my masseuse – what do I do? Hear more Prudence by joining Slate Plus: Slate.com/Prudiepod. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Jos Lavery is back to help with more of your questions! First, two very different letters about depression: my husband has disengaged from our marriage; a friend I’m not very close to anymore is using me as his only emotional outlet. Then, I like my stepdaughters better than my own kid – am I a terrible mother? (Plus, the secret to getting a young Dear Prudie to behave is revealed!) Hear more Prudence by joining Slate Plus: Slate.com/Prudiepod. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Prudence is joined by writer and academic Jos Lavery to answer your questions! First, my adult child just came out as trans – I support her, but when do we get to start talking about things other than being trans? A guy in my dorm sets an obnoxious alarm for early morning hours and then lets it sound for hours! I love everything about my boyfriend except his drug habits – is that enough of a reason to leave? Hear more Prudence by joining Slate Plus: Slate.com/Prudiepod. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

First up: A beginners guide to Star Trek. Then, onto your questions: Should I stay with my narcissistic husband to protect my kids from him? Was I wrong not to tip a masseuse that overcharged me? Is it inappropriate for me to go to the funeral for my high-school ex’s mom? I’m a recovering homophobe – how do I get more comfortable with my lesbian roommate and her girlfriend? Gabriel Roth, host of Slate’s podcast “Mom and Dad Are Fighting” joins Prudence. Hear more Prudence by joining Slate Plus: Slate.com/Prudiepod. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

A request from Prudence: be the kind of Starfleet that you wish to see in the world. Then, onto your questions with awkward situation pro Emily McDowell. My friend surprised me by covering my hotel room for her wedding – do I need to up the ante on the gift? How do I politely inform my all-female office that women can pee on toilet seats, too? And some parental conundrums: Do I need to reconnect with my abusive mother? My mom wants me to call her creepy boyfriend “Dad.” Hear more Prudence by joining Slate Plus: Slate.com/Prudiepod. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Objectively, the worst thing that can happen is getting a thumbs down while driving. Prudence is joined today by writer Jasmine Sanders to advise a woman who’s worried her husband wants to adopt a child and she doesn’t. Then: how to act if you secretly disapprove of your friends sexuality; and how to handle a toy that may or may not be haunted. Plus, get your scary-doll-movie recommendations here! And be aware: Prudence is down to adjudicate your questions about the astral plane. Hear more Prudence by joining Slate Plus: Slate.com/Prudiepod. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Prudie is joined by herself on a very special solo episode of Dear Prudence. First up, a listener voicemail: My partner is worried our role playing is bad for me, but I don’t think it is. Then onto your letters! Then onto your letters! Will strangers ever stop commenting on my daughter’s red hair? My wife had an emotional affair with a friend, now that friend is trying to convince me it was more than that. Help! I’m pregnant with a child I don’t want, while my sister can’t conceive. How do I talk about this with her? And finally, how do I tell my co-workers I don’t want to talk politics, even if we agree? Hear more Prudence by joining Slate Plus: Slate.com/Prudiepod. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

If you don’t like it when people say “no problem,” then you’re the one with the problem, Prudie says. Then onto your questions: How do I talk to my adopted black daughter about race? My husband won’t keep his hands off me in public! I’m gay – what next? Speaking of coming out, why does my friend call inanimate objects lesbians? Prudence is joined by friend and biochemist Brandon Taylor. Hear more Prudence by joining Slate Plus: Slate.com/Prudiepod. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Feeling hopeless about the state of the world? Prudence has some advice for how to carry on without totally losing it. Then, writer Shafiqah Hudson joins Prudie to answer your questions: How do I convince my friend that he benefits from white privilege? My friend abandoned me after her boyfriend assaulted me – now she’s trying to pretend nothing happened. And, lastly, I did a huge D.I.Y. project for my sister, only to have her rip it up and start again. Can I ask her to apologize? Hear more Prudence by joining Slate Plus: Slate.com/Prudiepod. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

First off, some cold hard truth from Prudence: it never works to have a chore wheel. Then, onto your questions. Should I confront an acquaintance if I think he may be cutting himself? Then, my boyfriend’s business partner is a horrible house guest and stays with us all the time. How can I cope with this? My sister thinks my family’s homophobic, but we just don’t like her racist girlfriend. And, how can I be a good friend to someone who hates being single? Vice Canada columnist Sarah Hagi joins Prudence this week. Hear back episodes of Prudence at Slate.com/Prudiepod. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

A friendly reminder from Prudence: advice is not one-size-fits-all! Writer and podcaster Christina Grace joins Prudie to help a woman break it to her in-laws that her family won’t be going to church; a military mom decide who should care for her daughter; and a gay man find his identity after sleeping with a woman (spoiler alert: bisexuality is a thing). Then, a wife finds out her husband has been sneaking around to help his sister leave her abusive husband. Is it fair to feel betrayed after months of secret heroism? (Note: The National Domestic Violence Hotline offers help and support to those who need it. Find it at www.thehotline.org or 1-800-799-7233.) Lastly, the case is closed on the cot. Thanks for playing! Hear more Prudence by joining Slate Plus: Slate.com/Prudiepod. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Prudie says it’s okay to ghost your social media followers, but not a child who thinks you’re her family. Then, MTV writer Jane Coaston joins in to advise on what to do if your mom uses surviving cancer as an excuse to spoil your kids. How to tell a family friend her husband is being a creep. And, how to tune out a loud co-worker. And finally, Prudence outlines more of the “Lost at Sea” dating handbook.  Hear more Prudence by joining Slate Plus: Slate.com/Prudiepod. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Prudie puts in a plug for queries about good fortune only. Then, she and writer Caille Millner tackle more serious problems: I’m convinced my husband had an affair with his boss, but he denies it. My mom is terrible with money. How can I get her to save for retirement so I don’t have to bail her out? My slacker brother-in-law has his parents duped into supporting him financially. I want to stage an intervention, but his mom won’t have it. Hear more Prudence by joining Slate Plus: Slate.com/Prudiepod. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Prudie and guest Juan-Pablo Brammer explore the fine line of low-key racism. Then, your questions: How can I keep my sister from terrorizing my new boyfriend? Can I tell my husband’s parents not to hook up in my kid’s bed? How do I tell my husband I’m bisexual? Hear more Prudence by joining Slate Plus: Slate.com/Prudiepod. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

I lent a family heirloom to a friend and she’s going to burn it in honor of her deceased child – can I ask for it back? “Nope!” says Prudence. Then your questions: Can I delay my breakup for financial gain? My partner won’t stop waking me up for trivial reasons! I found out my best friend had an affair with my now-dead husband — should I confront her about it? Author Saladin Ahmed joins Mallory to advise on these dilemmas. Hear more Prudence by joining Slate Plus: Slate.com/Prudiepod. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Rocky returns! The aspiring poker player writes back to make the case for quitting his day job (and if this makes no sense, check out the 11/29 “Anger Management” show). We’re rooting for you, man. Then, Mallory and comedian Avery Edison tackle your questions: A friend made a cruel comment at a party, I made a scene, and no one will let it go — how do I shut this down? I love my boyfriend, but he’s asexual and I’m not. Is our relationship doomed? Finally: my boyfriend struggles with body image, and I don’t know how to handle it. Hear more Prudence by joining Slate Plus: Slate.com/Prudiepod. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Mallory and guest Andrea Silenzi of Slate podcast “Why Oh Why” take on big issues, starting with the weighty question of how long you should wait to move on when someone you’re dating goes missing at sea. Then to your letters: I was ready to forgive my mom for how badly she handled my coming-out, but I just learned she also outed me to my whole family — what now? I set a goal to start a relationship in 2016, and it didn’t happen — what’s next? I’m worried that my son isn’t mine — should I take a paternity test? Finally: Mallory gives Andrea some radical dating advice. And a special note this week: we’ve got a letter concerning someone having suicidal thoughts. If that sounds like you or someone you know, call the National Suicide Prevention Hotline at 1-800-273-8255, or you can chat with them or find resources at https://suicidepreventionlifeline.org/. Hear more Prudence by joining Slate Plus: Slate.com/Prudiepod. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

A soon-to-be bride wants to buck a patriarchal wedding tradition. A wife wants her husband to buck up and tell his father he can’t come over every weekend. A man wants to leave a longterm relationship, but he’ll leave his partner without any bucks. Mallory is joined by Anna Sale, host of the WNYC podcast Death, Sex & Money, to tackle these problems. Plus, some genuine life advice from Mallory’s favorite satirical biopic. Hear more Prudence by joining Slate Plus: Slate.com/Prudiepod. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Mallory and guest Samantha Powell come to you live from the Now Hear This festival in LA. And a warning: things get rowdy! An American man wonders if he can divorce his non-English-speaking wife … because he’s bored explaining things to her. Then, the reverse: a woman moved to her husband’s home country to care for his mom — now mom’s dead, and she’s stuck there. Plus, an elopement throws an already-dysfunctional family into disarray, writers complain of too little sex and too much money, the audience gets an earful of live advice, and more! Hear more Prudence by joining Slate Plus: Slate.com/Prudiepod. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Mallory’s dad v. William Shatner. Then your questions: first, how do I relate to a dad who was absent and abusive while I was growing up, and now demands regular, personalized gifts? Then: I had an affair with my pastor, and just met the daughter I gave up for adoption. Now she wants to meet him, too — should I tell and ruin his life, or stay silent and hurt her? Finally, let’s get serious: how do I convince my wife that she should let me quit my job for three months to play poker? Hear more Prudence by joining Slate Plus: Slate.com/Prudiepod. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

If you see dirty pictures on someone else’s phone, that’s your problem. And a reminder: Dear Prudence is not a tax attorney, and neither is her guest, Toast co-founder Nicole Cliffe. Your questions today revolve around missing the mark. I’m always the one chasing down my sometime lover — am I being a stalker? My friend’s husband asked me to donate towards a surprise luxury car I know she doesn’t want — should I intervene? I had a fight with a longtime friend —and I don’t miss him. Do I have to try and mend things? Plus: Ditching one party for another hosted by someone you like better. Hear more Prudence by joining Slate Plus: Slate.com/Prudiepod. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

A note on the election and the limits of civility. Then, religion, inheritance, sibling rivalry: Prudie and guest Noah Kulwin discuss binaries. If you’re not close with your nephew, should you give him your old car instead of gifting it to your goddaughter? Should your live-in boyfriend take your side against your crazy landlord— and help you bear the financial burden of her craziness? What do you do when you find out your best friend/fiancé said awful things about you on Twitter? Plus: non-monogamy, and beware of fake Dear Prudence. Hear more Prudence by joining Slate Plus: Slate.com/Prudiepod. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Queer women, Carly Rae Jepsen, and what’s up with people confessing crimes on Facebook? Prudence and guests Jaya Saxena and Matt Lubchansky take on your problems of timing, including: do you have to let your fiancé’s ill mother live with you indefinitely? What if you want to quit your job — which you only started two days ago? How long should you stay with a husband who disappeared from your life for years, and now won’t go away? Plus, Mallory advocates for the CGI lesbians of the Gilmore Girls. Hear more Prudence by joining Slate Plus: Slate.com/Prudiepod. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

A listener offers her guide to figuring out if the white guy she’s dating has an Asian fetish. Then, Prudence and writer Brook Shelley get to your letters. First up, a mixed-race letter writer is dismayed to wake up to chain of racist texts — sent by her close friends. Then, the case of the Ambien Zombie Husband, a rent-based roommate Cold War, and an Eartha Kitt fantasy. Hear more Prudence by joining Slate Plus: Slate.com/Prudiepod. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Nancy Ortberg, AKA Mallory’s mom, joins us for questions today. How do you to talk to a stepdad who tries to boost your confidence by making borderline-creepy remarks about your appearance? What do you say to stop your parents from complaining to you about their marriage? Plus: Anti-vaxxers, handling disappointment, and how to keep the peace when you get the better office at work. Hear more Prudence by joining Slate Plus: Slate.com/Prudiepod. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Carvell and Mallory jump right back in. A letter-writer complains that her brother is a “man whore” — but first, we need to talk about who’s throwing glass at your family events. Then, should I tell my fiancé that I’m pretty sure I once slept with his best man? And finally: a knock-down, drag-out fight over whether a letter-writer should humor her father’s insistence that her boyfriend ask permission to marry her. Hear more Prudence by joining Slate Plus: Slate.com/Prudiepod. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Just say no to the “Don’t Tread On Me” snake. Mallory and returning listener favorite Carvell Wallace tackle and disagree over thorny questions like: should you intervene when your sister invites your mom to her wedding — but not your stepdad? When your adult sister is a cheater, how do you support her through her divorce? And finally, how do you break it to your white friend that she’s not as “woke” as she thinks she is? Plus: a love letter to bisexuals. We want you to tell us about the podcasts you enjoy, and how often you listen to them. So we created a survey that takes just a couple of minutes to complete. If you fill it out, you'll help Panoply to make great podcasts about the things you love. And things you didn’t even know you loved. To fill out the survey, just go to www.megaphone.fm/survey. Hear more Prudence by joining Slate Plus: Slate.com/Prudiepod. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

This week, your questions discussed in the cozy setting of Prudie’s literal bedroom. That might sound overly-intimate, but it’s not as intimate as going to a sweat lodge with your coworkers! Our guest is writer Lauren O’Neal, and together she and Prudie tackle how to set boundaries when your boyfriend’s family comes over every day without knocking, what to say to a mother who’s shunting her paid nanny duties off onto her teenage children, how to give your friend with cancer the support you never got, and whether to dump a boyfriend who refuses to call you by your name (uh… yep). Plus: tips for traveling through time on TV. We want you to tell us about the podcasts you enjoy, and how often you listen to them. So we created a survey that takes just a couple of minutes to complete. If you fill it out, you'll help Panoply to make great podcasts about the things you love. And things you didn’t even know you loved. To fill out the survey, just go to www.megaphone.fm/survey. Hear more Prudence by joining Slate Plus: Slate.com/Prudiepod. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Ann M. Martin and the gay Baby-Sitters Club, plus some unsolicited advice to a letter-writer who’d like to ruin his sons’ lives from beyond the grave and can’t find a lawyer to help him do it. SkyMall nostalgia. Then, Prudence and guest Rebeca Sanchez answer your questions as creatively as they’re able: how to talk to in-laws so obsessed with death they may as well be funeral crashers? How to repair the friendship between your husband and your best friend — which you most likely ruined? Your friend charged you $2 on Venmo for a dinner he cooked at his house — WTF? Should you marry a man you don’t love so you can be the mother his daughter needs?  Finally, reflections on watching movies whose plot line is basically, “Something Bad Didn’t Happen.” Hear more Prudence by joining Slate Plus: Slate.com/Prudiepod. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

The great lie that is, “they don’t really mean it.” Mallory and her sister, writer Laura Turner, bring some family wisdom to this week’s show. First: is it alright to ask your family to stop texting you the news of relatives’ deaths? What about when your family expects you to take in five young children — indefinitely? Then: how do you talk to a friend who’s always been your creative companion, but suddenly won’t acknowledge your success? Plus: the ethics of sharing cigarettes with your 18-year-old daughter, and — spoiler alert, Mallory loves spoilers — some reflections on the bullies of Stranger Things. Hear more Prudence by joining Slate Plus: Slate.com/Prudiepod. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

End the tyranny of the snooze button. Prudie and writer Mikki Kendall answer your questions, and let’s just get one thing out of the way right now: don’t try to attempted-murder Mikki by turning on an electric fence while she’s touching it; that won’t go over any better than writing your adopted daughter completely out of your will, then asking her to host Thanksgiving for 50 people. Plus: killing your mean-girl co-worker with kindness (and some friendly plant-poisoning tips); whether a lifelong bachelor will ever change his mind on marriage (and whether that matters); and how exactly to handle a colleague who’s vowed to keep you from ever adopting a dog. Finally: the case for 2016-B. Hear more Prudence by joining Slate Plus: Slate.com/Prudiepod. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Comedians W. Kamau Bell and Hari Kondabolu of the podcast Politically Re-Active join Prudie to dispense advice — sometimes in song! — about how to get a needy ex out of your house, how best to deal with a deadbeat husband, and how to figure out if your boyfriend is only into you because you’re Asian. Plus, Ayn Rand and the true identity of Chuck E. Cheese. Hear more Prudence by joining Slate Plus: Slate.com/Prudiepod. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Prudence and guest Lisa McIntire on when you should rock the boat, why people feel entitled to be rude to their friends, and how time passing does not equal an apology. First though, you should go see Bad Moms… the audience, that is. More thoughts on HR and how capitalism is a hellscape, with apologies to the robber barons among our listeners.  Now to your questions: A parent is allowing their 18-year-old daughter to work out of the house as a phone sex operator, on the condition that she doesn’t talk to her younger siblings about the job — and doesn’t trust her to keep that promise. A woman’s friend keeps telling her that she’ll change her mind about marriage and kids — and setting the her up on dates she doesn’t want to go on. And finally: the case for plausible-deniability ashtrays. Hear more Prudence by joining Slate Plus: Slate.com/Prudiepod. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

A woman dropped family, friends, and job to move across the country for a relationship that didn’t work out — and things got worse from there. Is she doomed to make poor decisions for the rest of her life? A man dies, and his obituary lists a woman who barely remembers him as “the love of his life.” Should she try to find out what happened, or let him take his secret to the grave? A daughter mentioned long-term care insurance to her mom — and got an earful from her aunt about what a terrible person she is. Wait, what? Dear Prudence and Slate’s Dan Kois consider these questions and issue some reminders: we’re all gonna die someday, and being a couple of hours late to a grown man’s birthday party is only a crime in the movies. Hear back episodes of Prudence at Slate.com/Prudiepod. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Prudence flies solo and argues with — or against — her better angels. She anoints the Worst Commercial of the Year and advises a woman wondering if she has to let a family member with money trouble live in her empty investment apartment. But Prudie loves it when you send her letters that don’t have to do with someone possibly getting put out on the street, and vastly prefers questions about things like meat-eating parents trolling their vegetarian daughter-in-law. For example: should those parents pay the hospital bill when they feed their grandson a cheeseburger he’s not supposed to eat — and he gets serious food poisoning as a result? Plus, whether or not you’re “reading too much into it” when your friend offers your husband a massage, and how much say your family gets over your armpit hair.  Hear more episodes of Prudence at by joining Slate Plus: Visit Slate.com/Prudiepod. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Does HR really work for employees — or is it just there for the company? Prudence shares a listener perspective. Then, Prudie and friend of the show Jos Lavery counsel a woman who’s essentially written in just to say how great her life is. A listener asks how to restrain their financially irresponsible fiancé before they both end up broke. Continuing the theme: a husband won’t stop smoking even though his doctors have ordered him to — and he blames his wife for conspiring with them.  And finally: is this what a midlife crisis is like?  Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Jasmine Guillory is back in the studio with Prudie to talk about how to handle a partner who doesn’t believe in antidepressants, counsel a woman in an emotionally abusive relationship with a physically disabled man, and, for a bit of relief, adjudicate a parking-space dispute. Plus: do you, or do you not, have to go see the new Ghostbusters movie?  Hear the most Prudie you can by joining Slate Plus: visit slate.com/prudiepod to sign up. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Today’s questions are about life’s unfairness and the meaning of unconditional love; Dear Prudence and writer Carvell Wallace roll up their sleeves and get tough. A woman writes with a question about what she owes her troubled, and now-adult, adopted daughter; and an aunt wonders whether she must spend her savings on a treatment that might -- or might not -- save her terminally-ill nephew’s life. Remember, you can always hear more questions and advice by subscribing to Slate Plus: visit slate.com/prudiepod. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Mallory and Slate’s Aisha Harris talk about butting in where you don’t belong. Should you call Child Protective Services because you think someone’s kids aren’t learning enough algebra? How do you deal with a colleague making inappropriate remarks about your employees’ personal lives? And as always, there’s more of everything at Slate Plus -- visit slate.com/prudiepod. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Dear Prudence and Slate’s Christina Cauterucci take on behavior that goes from bad to worse: a “toxic friend” who uses her mental health issues to get away with abusing her friends; a man trying to shame his wife into having a “regret baby” seven years after they both agreed to an abortion; and a father who wants to tell his preteen sons how much he doesn’t love their mother. Plus, Prudie advises a woman wondering if she can move into her own place even though she’s happily married, encourages a listener to go for it with an eager ex, and meditates on weak endings and the deadening managerial mantra, “If there’s time to lean, there’s time to clean.” Full episodes of the Dear Prudence podcast are available exclusively to Slate Plus members. Listen to old episodes at Slate.com/Prudiepod Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Mallory Ortberg and guest Jos Lavery discuss why we feel so compelled to discuss human relationships as transactions, and discuss how to handle family members who might be committing insurance fraud. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

How do you tactfully let your sister know it’s time for deodorant? Or that you hate her dog? And how do you protect your sister from your overbearing parents? This week, Mallory Ortberg and guest Jasmine Guillory bring their advisory, legal, and child-of-therapists expertise to bear on the thorny questions of sisterhood, including a candid, live call with a listener (available only at Slate Plus!) Plus, Mallory reflects on being the Jack Johnson of road rage, responds to people who think it's just fine to give away your mom's dog, and spends a few minutes reveling in the newly-released footage of Jerry Lewis' long-lost Holocaust clown movie. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Mallory assesses the emotional fitness of people who spill drinks on themselves and tackles your questions with Alison Green of Ask a Manager. Is the letter about "a series of Spider-Man piss revelations" real or fake? How do you manage a recently dumped friend whose behavior is endangering others? And why did Panera hire that bizarre-sounding woman to talk about "clean salads"? And what to tell a letter-writer whose gay son wants to go to religious college? Well, for that last one you'll have to subscribe at slate.com/prudiepod, where you can hear the full version of the show, including Mallory's reflections on her own adolescence.  Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Every week, Mallory Ortberg (aka Dear Prudence) tackles problems about love, life, and everything in between.  Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices