Welcome to India. For optimal listening experience please visit your local Indian market, close your eyes and sway slightly.

Everyone seems to be moving there... Includes Solitude is Bliss by Tame Impala (probably the best Australian band ever).

But not anymore. Featuring Matthew Horne, Michael Sharpaaay, Asia Hatefattso, Jesse Wickham, Obama, The Flaming Lips, The Dead Weather. Picture by Josh Stewart.

Yuo is a Homosexual, written by Sean Crist. The Cast: Narrator - Pitch Black Yuo - Matthew Horne Father - Grandpa Jimmy Mother - Lucy Leslie Sue - Rachel Rhodez Fireman - Sam Mulgrew Officer Plotchnik - Oliver Ranson Possible Pedofile - Michael Sharp Driver - Tim Jansen Hotline Operator - Evan Phillips Dr. Goldenberg - Dr. Paul Butler Homophobic Children - Fiona Browne, Lilly Peacocke, Tim Jansen, Pitch Black, Michael Sharp, Sam Mulgrew, Ross Deans, Matthew Horne.

Guest Podcast 3: Matthew Horne. Say however you feel, say whats in your heart. Unleash the beast to your inner gasm. Spunk to the funk and get on the junk……. Touch me, oooooh. Try coming down now RUFUS! Woah! MUSHROOM WARS, French fries. Blue cheese whizz for diz, eat the kidz. INVADE THE BLUFF. Skirmish the firmest tits and nuzzle the cooch. Dansk en Hooch… vamanos vamanos….

Well, well, well, sick. Happy New Year.

My first and only passover special! Staring: James Mauger as The Narrator Rebecca Mason-Melrose as Mary Pitch Black as Joseph Mike Sharp as Jesus Even Phillips as The Innkeeper Nara Phillips as Elizabeth Matthew Horne as John Sam Shaw as Doctor #1 Harry Shaw as Doctor #2 On the off chance you are Jewish, have a great religious holiday!

This podcast is about the biggest ego trip ever. Thanks for coming.

Smoking. I've had a few days where I smoked and I was all short of breath and shit. Don't smoke. I've been working on this podcast over the last few years, the earliest recording on this podcast is from April of 2006 around the time I was posting my fourth episode. The part which was recorded at the party with Holly and Karl was actually the same party that featured in 'A Sample or 3'. I have a lot of friends who smoke and I can honestly say that I don't but it can be good with a nice coffee or outside at 1 in the morning after a few beers. It really comes down to choice and if that's what you're into... you're gonna die.

Run my children, run from the pigs of hell and all those who would seek to give you a cold.

In a dark little world, A dark little place, Lives a dark little man With a dark little face. The color’s not black But dark as can be, In a dark little world Dark is all you can see. In his dark little heart, With his dark little soul, There is a place with a light At the end of a hole, But there is no light No light in his heart It’s ever so lonely In the dark.

Guest podcast 1: Grandpa Jimmy. Nineteen Forty. Contributions from Ed Murrow, and Vera Lynn.

As much as there is to say about him it's better just to watch and listen. Thanks for all the good times Michael, I always had faith.

3rd Anniversary. Boom.

Can you smell it?

In the tradition of saying one thing and doing the other I present the second Ambiguous Christmas special staring: James Mauger as the Narrator, Rebecca Mason-Melrose as Mary Pitch Black as Joseph Sally Mason-Melrose as Gabriel Oliver Ranson as Nameless angel John Coady as Nice Inn Keeper Even Phillips as Not So Nice Inn Keeper. Have a merry Christmas no matter who you are. See you next year, Pitch.

When you record at parties sometime you get some great clips. Just clips mind you, not whole segments. These clips need to be spliced with extra bits of footage that you had sitting, waiting for use that you can now be done with and not use again until you really run out of ideas and make episodes featuring other episodes. For your aural pleasure, Pitch.

If you have or witness an emergency please follow instructions and dial one of these numbers. For New Zealand dial 111 (or 911) For Australia dial 000 For the United States dial 911 For South Africa dial 112 For Spain dial 532 For Italy dial 112 For Greece dial 100 For Israel dial 100 For France dial 17 For Germany dial 112 For Romaina dial 961 For Russia dial 051 For Poland dial 997 For Denmark dial 112 For Sweden dial 112 For the United Kingdom dial 999 For Iceland dial 0112 For Canada dial 911 For Mexico dial 08 For Jamaica dial 119 For Japan dial 110 For Philippines dial 117 For Thailand dial 191 For Columbia dial 123 For Brazil dial 190 For Argentina dial 101 Know where you are and know how to get help.

Take the time to spell this Xmas. The children depend on it.

Interview 9: I guess of all the words I have in my vocabulary 'Alastair' would be one hundred and eighty first (after 'Alas'). That really doesn't sum him up as a person though. He's kind, compasionate and is great with kids. Dashing good looks and a car. Sound good? I think so. Just don't spell his name wrong.

Interview 7: You know why it took so long? It's because he didn't want to talk to me. Lame excuse. We gel like water and flower. This is Oliver Ranson. Or whatever. Next Week: Paul Butler

Interview 6: The first ever commentary on a audio podcast? I don't know but if it's not then prove it! Karl has been featured a few times on Ambiguous and I have been lucky to work with such a special person. Very special. Next Week: Oliver Ranson

Interview 3: This is one hell of a man. He likes his cows fed on grass. He has been hanging at my crib since 2006... And now he lives in the garage. Give it up for the King. Next Week: Morgana Brewer

Interview 1: Gab is a very old friend of mine from back before I was even at high school. I gotta love the girl and she has given me a lot of support over the years. Next Week: Michael Sharp

On this day (18/03/07) last year, the podcast 'Snack Bar' was first posted. It was my good friend James Mauger's and an inspiration that lead to Ambiguous being created. So to James, thanks for the podcast that pushed me to create this. This is not a rip off. It is a tribute. An Ambiguous Tribute to 'Snack Bar'. Enjoy.

Tonight with me I produce the very special guest who many have called Karl and few have called a lamp post with a heavy metal problem. There is a reason for that. But here is my latest podcast for you. Peace